#That turned out to be a way longer answer than originally intended | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fallingforfictionalcharacterss · 1 year ago

Note

Heyy! I just wanted to say I LOVE your writing and read your fanfics all the time!! I just wanted to ask (if you are not busy) could you write a fanfic in which reader and Draco breakup but reader realises they made a mistake and want Draco back? Thanks for all the other amazing writing you have xx lots of love <333

Thank you so much for your request! Writing this was quite a challenge for some reason and I still don´t know how I like the outcome, but I really hope that you´ll enjoy reading.

By the way, I most likely won´t be uploading something in the next few weeks (as if I had a regular schedule for this anyway) because I´m going on vacation. So for the next two weeks, I´ll be lying at a beach in Thailand (for the first time in five years, I´m super excited) but I really hope that after this I´ll be inspired and write some new fics for y´all.

Secrets

Warnings: break-up; it´s pretty much an emotional rollercoaster

You raised your upper body slightly, resting its weight on your forearms, as you watched the figure sitting at the desk, his back turned to you, with narrowed eyes.

“Draco?”

The blond boy just hummed in response.

“When will you be done with this?”

“Just a little longer, love.”

“But that´s what you already said an hour ago.”, you said, letting out a dramatic sigh.

“It will take how long it will take, (Y/n). After this I´m all yours, I promise.”

“Pff, that´s what you always say.”, you huffed. “Until something else comes to your mind which is much more important than me again.”

“There is nothing more important to me than you, my love. You know that.”

“Oh yeah? Is that so? Because right now, you aren’t even looking at me.”

Draco groaned in defeat as he put down the quill and turned around in his chair to finally face you. And even though he held an annoyed frown on his face, originally intending to scold you, his expression softened rather quickly when he saw you lying on his bed in one of his sweaters, looking at him with doe eyes. Even though you were trying to hide it, Draco just knew you for way too long to miss the disappointment in your eyes. And while Draco Malfoy wasn’t one to care much about the feelings of others, when it came to his beloved girlfriend, he just couldn’t bear to see even the slightest hints of dejection.

So he quickly scribbled down one last sentence onto his parchment, before finally closing the book he had been hovering over for the last few hours, and with a few large steps, he walked over to his bed, letting himself fall down right next to you. The moment you felt the mattress lowering, you quickly shuffled over, huddling into the embrace of your boyfriend. Draco put an arm around you, as you rested your head on his chest.

“Are you happy now, love?”, he asked, letting out a low chuckle as you nodded eagerly. You could feel the vibration in his chest going through your entire body, making chills run down your spine. “But you know I can´t stay long, don’t you? I still have stuff to do.”

You pouted.

“Stuff, what kind of stuff?”

When Draco didn’t answer immediately, you glanced up at the boy, noticing how with a blank expression, he stared into the void.

“Draco?”, you asked in a soft voice, making the boy beneath you jolt.

He looked at you, seemingly confused for a second, before he got a grip on himself again and cleared his throat.

“Nothing- Nothing important. I´ll just… I´ll meet up with Crabbe and Goyle. We… still have… It´s some Quidditch stuff, you know? Nothing interesting.”

You frowned.

“Six years and I still don’t like these guys. I mean, the others are all so nice. Pansy and Blaise… But these two? I don’t know what you see in them.”

Draco raised an eyebrow as he glared down at you.

“You made it very clear that I shouldn’t criticize you for the choice of your friends early on. So do me the same favour, love, alright?”

You nodded in defeat, but you couldn’t help but add: “But you have to admit that they are… well, not the sharpest knife in the drawer to say the least.”

A small grin sneaked on your boyfriend's face again.

“Probably can´t argue with that. Merlin, I feel like a troll could beat them in their exams if it would try very hard.”

You let out a small giggle, making Draco´s grin only widen.

“So why don’t you just ditch your troll friends and spend the evening with me?”, you asked, glancing at Draco through your eyelashes hopefully.

But the boy just shook his head.

“Believe me, love, there´s nothing I´d rather do, but you know just as well as I do I can´t.”

“I know.”, you sighed. “The team would be lost without you, wouldn’t it? And I obviously can´t take that responsibility.”

“The team?”, Draco frowned, before he seemed to remember. “Oh yeah, of course. We can´t let those filthy Gryffindors win the cup once more, can we?”

You looked at Draco doubtfully. Because even though his words were making sense, by the way, his voice sounded and he avoided your gaze, you knew he was lying to you. Which unfortunately happened rather often since the school year had started.

You didn’t know what had happened over the summer holidays before your sixth year at Hogwarts had started. But you knew that ever since then, Draco had changed. At first, you had suspected that it had something to do with you and your relationship – for a frightful moment, you had even suspected that Draco might had fallen out of love with you or had someone else - but soon you had realized that Draco didn’t only behave differently around you, but in general. He was thin-skinned and easy to distract, and even though he spent much more time studying and practising Quidditch, his grades had dropped drastically and even though you hated to admit, Draco was a worse player than he had ever been before. From time to time, you had the feeling that the only moments he could truly relax were when it was just the two of you. Draco and you by now knew each other for way too long to actually hide your feelings from one another and most of the time it was useless anyway because you could read each other like a book. You loved how much your boyfriend was able to calm down when he was around you, however, you would have certainly preferred it, if he would have just told you what it was that was troubling these days. But even though you had encouraged him many times that he could talk to you and you had promised him that whatever he would tell you would stay between just the two of you, Draco had stubbornly denied to tell you anything at all. At some point, you had just given up trying, not because you didn’t want to know or because you didn’t care, but because you felt as if the most that you could do for the boy you loved was just to be there for him and give him the safe space he apparently needed so bad these days, making sure he knew that he could always talk to you but also not pressured into anything. You trusted Draco enough to believe that he would come around by the time he was ready to tell you, and until then, you had decided that you would just enjoy the moments you still had left with him, just like the one you had now.

So instead of pushing him any further, you just pecked his jawline, before nuzzling only deeper into his chest.

“I have no doubt you won´t. They won´t stand a chance against you this year.”

“Especially if my beautiful girlfriend will be in the stands cheering for me.”

“I´ll make sure to bring my pom-poms.”, you chuckled.

“I don´t care about those things. Though I´d really like to see you in one of those uniforms someday.”

You let out a laugh.

“Oh, I bet you do. But you should be focused on the snitch. Not on me.”

“As if I ever could take my eyes off you. No matter what you are wearing.”

“Don´t you dare to put the blame on me for last year´s disgrace, Malfoy!”

“I would never even dream of doing so, my love.”, he smiled, as the boy only pulled you closer, making you smile against his chest.

You weren’t quite sure how much time had passed, but Draco and you were still lying in his bed. Your head was still placed on his chest, but by now, you faced the ceiling, while Draco had wrapped an arm around you. A comfortable silence had spread across you, while you had put his large hand into your smaller ones, absentmindedly fiddling with the rings covering his delicate fingers. Your fingertips were tracing the lines in his hand, making Draco shiver under you, before turning it around, dancing over the back of it. You followed the lines of his veins, clearly visible under his pale skin, before you reached the button of his white shirt. Draco´s breath slowed down more and more, and his right arm, which was tangled in your hair, slowed down his movements more and more, while the blond boy´s mind slowly but steadily drifted away more and more. You smiled to yourself, as you played with the button, opening and closing it a few times, before suddenly, you stopped short. Because at the upper edge of the slit in Draco´s sleeve, you made out some lines of dark ink, a harsh contrast on his fair skin.

“What is this?”, you asked, as you curiously tried to tuck the sleeve up a bit. “Did you get a tattoo and didn’t tell me?”

Draco blinked down at you in confusion when your words made him snap out of his haze, but the moment he realized what you were talking about, he quickly pulled his arm away and jolted up, making you fall from his chest and yelp in surprise.

“Draco, what the hell?”, you laughed as you looked at the boy who was staring at you with widened eyes.

Your boyfriend took a deep breath and forced a wry smile at you.

“Sorry, love. I almost fell asleep. I just startled.”

You shrugged and smiled at him, not holding it against him.

“So tell me. What´s that?”, you asked again, nodding in the direction of Draco´s arm.

“Nothing. It´s nothing.”, Draco responded, feeling clearly uncomfortable as he avoided your gaze.

“There are pretty many things that are nothing today, don’t you think?”, you asked as you watched him gulp nervously.

“I just don´t want to bore you with unimportant things.”

“Oh please. As if you would have ever cared about this. You´ve always been ranting for hours about stuff that I don´t care about. I still remember a certain speech of almost an hour when Potter conquered you in potions at the beginning of the year.”, you huffed.

Draco narrowed his eyes.

“So suddenly you don´t care about what I´ve got to say anymore at all?”

“That´s not what I said.”

“In fact, it was.”

“No, Draco. What I´m trying to say is that I don´t mind if from time to time you also talk about things that I´m not as involved in as you or that I don´t understand. As long as it is important enough to you and you want to talk about it with me, that´s enough. Because I love you, Draco. Merlin, I love you so much you could give me a four-hour talk about flobberworms and I would gladly listen to it. And if it´s only to hear your voice. So go ahead and tell me.”

The corner of Draco´s mouth twitched up slightly.

“Well, I´m not sure if I can go on for four hours, but it´s that weird little creature that bit Crabbe in one of the lessons of this incompetent disgrace for the wizarding world calling himself a teacher, who also…”

“You know I´m not talking about the flobberworms.”, you interrupted Draco.

“But you said you would listen to me even if I would just talk about them for hours. And I thought a little personal anecdote would…”

“You´re distracting, Draco.”, you cut your boyfriend off once more. Under different circumstances, you would have probably found it funny or adorable how desperately he tried to distract you, but right now you were way too worried about the boy in front of you to continue playing his games.

“What do you want to talk about then, my love?”

“How about what´s on your arm?”

“That shouldn’t be any concern of yours.”

“Well, it is.”

“It might be, but you told me that I should tell you what I want to talk about and this certainly isn´t one of those things. Flobberworms on the other hand…”

And at this very moment, you were just done with Draco´s childish behaviour.

While the boy genuinely tried to keep on chatting about the most boring creature to ever exist, looking anywhere but at you, you quickly bent forwards, grabbed Draco´s arm and pulled up the boy´s sleeve. The second Draco realized what you were doing, he pulled away immediately, but it was already too late.

Even with the white fabric covering the black ink on his forearm again, your eyes were still fixed on the place, you had spotted them seconds ago.

Draco crossed his arms in front of his chest and let out a nervous chuckle.

“Merlin, (Y/n), if I would have known you want to rip off my clothes so badly…”

“What is this?” Your voice was surprisingly calm for what your eyes had just spotted and for what your mind was just about to process. “Draco, what the hell is this?”

“It´s nothing, love. You really don´t have to think about…”

“No, Draco. Not again. Tell me what this is. Tell me...” Your voice started to crack. “Tell me this isn´t what I think it is.”

“Well, if you already think you know better, who am I to tell you differently?” He sounded defiant, but just like you, Draco couldn´t hide the vigorous shaking of his voice.

It had been only a second, most likely only the split of it, that you had exposed the dark lines covering the inner side of Draco´s left forearm, but the picture was burned into your mind, nevertheless. Every delicate feature of the snake winding elegantly around the skull, the black appearing even darker on Draco´s pale skin; a piece of art looking way too pretty on him for the fact, that this little thing had just shattered all your hopes and dreams in no time.

“But you… you have to. Tell me I´m wrong, Draco. Please.”

The whisper almost broke Draco´s heart, yet he seemed to remain unfazed by it. He still didn’t look at you, because if the boy would have seen the tears shimmering in your eyes, it would have made everything just so much worse.

“I don´t even know what´s on your mind, (Y/n). So how can I tell you, whether you´re wrong or right?”

Obviously, he knew what you were thinking. He always knew. But for now, this seemed to be the only way to delay the inevitable.

“Don´t… don´t make me say it. I can´t…” Your voice broke once more.

“Well if you can´t then we don´t need to talk about it anymore as well, do we?”

Finally, Draco glanced up at you. When he saw you blinking vigorously, trying to prevent the tears in your eyes from falling, he automatically extended his hand to touch you, to offer you some kind of comfort, but you shied away from his touch, lowering your gaze. Draco flinched as if he had burned himself. You could only imagine the hurt lying in his eyes now, but at this moment, you didn´t really care. How could you when the guy you had always loved more than anyone else had betrayed you in the worst way possible?

“Love?” Draco´s voice was gentle, way too gentle to come from a boy who has chosen a life of fear and death. “Love, please talk to me.”

Your gaze was fixed on your lap, your hands played with themselves nervously.

“You said we shouldn’t talk about it. So I don´t think there is anything left to say, is it?”

“I… I didn’t mean it that way, (Y/n). You know that.”

“Do I, Draco? How would I?”

“Because it´s me. Love, you know me better than anyone else does. If there´s anyone out there who understands me then it´s you.”

You glared up at the boy in front of you, eying him suspiciously.

“How dare you say that? How dare you to say that I know you? That I understand you? I don’t recognize you, Draco. I always trusted you. I was always by your side. And you used me like this. Lied into my face all the time. So how can I think that I´ve ever truly known you?”

You expected Draco to object. To tell you that whatever had happened to him; that he had no choice. That this wasn´t who he wanted to be. That you were actually the only one who knew who he truly was. But instead, he just huffed.

“See, that´s why I didn’t tell you. I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

Your face fell.

“That´s what you think?”

“That´s what I think.”

You nodded as you straightened your back and wiped away the tears. A useless act you realized, since new ones were falling steadily. But you ignored it.

“Then there´s nothing left to say I guess.”

“That´s not what I… (Y/n), listen. Just lie back and calm down for a moment and then you´ll see that none of this will affect you and when you aren’t so upset anymore then we can go back to…”

“No, Draco. We won´t. None of those things. I… Honestly, I don´t even want to hear what you got to say anymore. And I certainly don´t want to calm down. Because there´s nothing to be calm about. And nothing that won´t affect me. And if you…” You gulped heavily. “If you think I´ll stay after you did this. After you lied to me. You are mistaken. I won´t stay. Not in this stupid bed, not in this stupid room and certainly…” The words almost got stuck in your throat as you choked out: “Certainly not with you.”

You wished you could just storm out of the room and slam the door dramatically, but you were still tangled into Draco´s damn sheets, which were way too soft and smelled way too much like him. That smelled way too much like home. So you just shuffled away from Draco awkwardly to the other side of the bed. Draco watched you. His face showed no emotion, as you kicked the blanket away that was still wrapped around your legs before you headed towards the door with large steps. You wished Draco would call you out. Tell you that all of this was just a misunderstanding. A bad dream. Something you would figure out together.

And he held you back indeed.

“(Y/n)?”

You had almost reached the door when his voice made you freeze. This was it. The moment he could take everything back. The moment he could fix it. Where he could save your relationship. Save you.

“You won´t tell anyone about this. Will you?”

And just like that, even the last sparkle of hope for a happy ending for the both of you was stifled. You let out a dry laugh, a sound neither Draco nor you were used to hearing from you.

“Why? What would you do if I did? Would you hurt me, Draco?”

Silence.

“Would you do it? Would you… If that´s what you needed to do to keep your secret, would you hurt me? Would you… would you kill me?”

When you glanced at Draco and returned his gaze, you tried to read what was on his mind. There was a small voice inside of you that told you that his eyes were begging you not to leave, telling you that he would never hurt you, that after all, you were the only thing he really needed in his life, the only one he genuinely loved. But when the boy still didn’t answer and just pressed his lips together, you came to the realisation, that all of these assumptions, all the things you thought you knew about Draco, were based on a lie.

You didn’t know how long you had been standing there, staring into the eyes of the boy who you had thought loved you unconditionally until you realized that Draco wouldn’t give you an answer. And especially not the one you were hoping for.

You nodded slowly, finally managing to tear your gaze apart from the blond Slytherin still sitting on the bed, you had been cuddling in carelessly only minutes ago.

“At least I know now.”

And with that, you turned around, leaving the dorm and everything you had ever been hoping for behind you, once and for all.

If somebody would ever ask you, what time of your life had been the worst, you would probably tell them about the days after Draco´s and your way had parted. Because while all you wanted to do was curl up in your bed and never leave your dorm again, the school made that impossible. And with the classes came the questions. It just seemed to be incomprehensible to everyone, how (Y/n) (Y/l/n), the girl who was known to had softened the heart of the Slytherin prince, and Draco Malfoy had parted ways. One day, everything had seemed so perfect and the two of you had seemed to be so much in love, and the next day, the both of you acted as if the other one simply didn’t exist, claiming to not care, while in fact, everyone saw how much you did care. And obviously, everyone wanted to know how it had come to this unforeseeable event. And while people barely ever dared to talk to Draco, especially now that he seemed to be more thin-skinned than ever, you were much easier to approach, and people were literally bombarding you with questions. People you didn’t even know were coming up to you with inappropriately intimate questions about your relationship with Draco, or more precisely, the ending of it. At some point you snapped, hexing some giggling Gryffindors with the Bee-Sting Jinx, causing their skin to swell and giving it an unsavoury pinkish tinge. Until that very day, the girls hadn’t left the hospital wing yet, and you couldn’t exactly say you were sorry to hear.

Who you couldn’t get rid of that easily, however, were your own friends. Especially Pansy stuck to her guns, trying to get you to finally reveal what had happened between Draco and you. You couldn’t blame your friend though, since she had been the one staying up several nights ever since Draco and you had broken up, providing you with some hot chocolate and the most heart-wrenching romance novels, while you were crying at her shoulder. But even Pansy couldn’t get you to tell her what had happened that day in Draco´s dorm.

You had been debating with yourself forever about whether or not you should tell anyone what you had witnessed that day, and until now, you hadn’t come to a conclusion yet. At least that´s what you told yourself. Because the truth was, you knew very well, that you wouldn’t tell a soul, what Draco had done. And not because you were scared that Draco could actually hurt you. In fact, you were quite sure that no matter what he would try, nothing would hurt more than his betrayal. No, the reason why you wouldn’t give away what you knew about the blond boy now, was rather the complete opposite of the idea that you could actually be scared of him, yet it was just as simple as this. Because the truth was no matter what Draco had done and no matter what he would do in the future, you were still completely and utterly in love with the boy. And you also knew that this would never change. And even though you knew that – regardless of your feelings- breaking all ties with Draco was the right thing, that didn’t mean that you simply didn’t have the heart to tell anyone that Draco Malfoy was by now a Death Eater and just like that destroy his future and most likely getting him a ticket to Azkaban without a return.

In one of your several sleepless nights you had debated with yourself that Draco wasn’t even of age yet and that he had probably been pushed into all of that and no one would actually send him to Azkaban, but then again, if You-Know-Who would find out that Draco had been exposed, he would certainly find a way to get rid of him, as a punishment or to simply prevent him from spilling some secrets. Sure, Draco was probably already in a more than dangerous situation anyway, but you had the feeling that exposing him would most likely only make things worse. And while you had also considered asking Professor Dumbledore or Professor Snape, who had always been the closest to Draco out of all the professors, for help, you had quickly realized, that the Headmaster wasn’t as powerful anymore as he had used to be and you were also quite aware of all the rumours surrounding the Head of the Slytherin house. And if Professor Snape was actually still loyal to You-Know-Who, once again, this would only make things worse.

So all there was left to do, was to keep your mouth shut and trying to avoid Draco as much as possible. Because while all the comments of the other students were pretty annoying, whose presence hurt you more than anyone else’s, was Draco´s. And while you had always known what had been going on in the blond head for the past few years, by now you had absolutely no idea. Most of the time, he ignored you, not even seeming to even notice your presence, but from time to time, you caught him, staring at you from across the room with a blank expression on his face and something in his eyes, that you couldn’t quite put a finger on. But that might had also been due to the fact, that neither of you could bear the glances of the other one for more than a few seconds and whenever your gaze met his, the both of you quickly looked away again, trying to ignore the stinging in your heart whenever this happened. Luckily, you didn’t meet Draco often these days. He often skipped the meals, and even to most of the classes he rarely appeared anymore. And while you were mostly lucky about the fact that you didn’t stumble across the Slytherin that often these days, there was still a small voice inside your head, worrying about Draco´s concerning behaviour, wondering how he would be able to pass the exams at the end of the year and how long he would be able to go on at all, with the little he ate and apparently also slept, concluding from the dark circles under his eyes.

Your friends however pointed out, that you didn’t look much better either. The breakup tugged on your nerves much more than you wanted to admit, and you also slept bad these days, and while you regularly appeared to the classes and meals, in the classes, you barely even listened to what the teachers were saying, mostly staring at the blank spot where Draco was supposed to sit and during the meals you mostly just shoved the food on your plate around unenthusiastically. Your thoughts often drifted to the blond boy, making you forget everything around you, just like you did now.

You were sitting at the Great Lake with some of your friends, who were, now that you had finished your homework, happily chatting about all different kind of themes. You on the other hand were just staring at the lake absentmindedly, doodling onto the parchment in front of you, which was already filled with the few sentences that you had scribbled down as a poor excuse for your homework. Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t even notice how a tall figure approached you until he stood right in front of you and cleared his throat.

You flinched and glanced up quickly, the confusion on your face slowly giving way to a small smile.

“Hey, Blaise.”

“(Y/n).”, he grinned, giving you a short nod as a greeting. “Do you have a second?”

You put the parchment on your lap aside and shrugged your shoulders.

“Sure. Why don’t you sit down?”

“Actually, I was hoping to talk to you alone.”, he said, glaring at your friends that eyed the two of you curiously.

You let out a sigh, before you got up.

“Wanna go on a walk then?”

Blaise just nodded again, before he walked towards the lake, not even looking back at you once.

You quickly said your friends goodbye, before with some quick steps, you caught up with Blaise again. For a few minutes, the two of you were just walking next to each other in silence, until the Slytherin boy finally cleared his throat.

“So… How are you?”

You glanced at him suspiciously.

“Why do you ask?”

“It´s been a while since we talked. I mean, we don´t see each other that often anymore since Draco and you…” He trailed off, his gaze fixed on the ground in front of him.

Even though Blaise and you weren’t as close as Draco and he was, you knew for sure that Blaise wasn’t a man of many words, and the fact that he actively had been looking for you and was bringing up such an uncomfortable topic on his own made you suspect that there was more to this conversation than met the eye at this moment.

You sighed.

“Just spit it out, Blaise. What is it?”

“Listen, I know it´s none of my business what happened between Draco and you and I…”

“That´s right, this is absolutely no concern of yours.”, you interrupted him, before he could say anything else. “So why do you still bring it up then?”

Blaise raised an eyebrow at you.

“For real, (Y/n)?”

You rolled your eyes.

“No, I´m joking. So just tell me what you have to say.”

The Slytherin stopped in his tracks and turned around to you.

“For Salazar's sake. Draco misses you, (Y/n). He´s absolutely miserable since the two of you have broken up and it absolutely sucks to see him like this.”

You stared at Blaise with slightly widened eyes, surprised by that -for the quiet boy quite unusual- emotional outburst. For now, however, this was only the second most important thing about your interaction with the Slytherin. Because what stuck way more with you was what Blaise had said to you. Because if Blaise was actually right, Draco felt the exact same way about your breakup as you did. And while you could feel your heart stinging in your chest at the thought that your actions might had hurt the boy you still loved so much, the reasons for your behaviour were still much more important to you than the consequences, weren’t they? And for now, cutting off as many strings between Draco and you was for you the only reasonable reaction to the fact that he had not only irrevocably turned to the dark side, but had also kept this not exactly insignificant detail as a secret from you. Because if you wouldn’t have taken any consequences from this, if you would have just kept going, ignoring the fact that you didn’t even know anymore who the person claiming to want to spend the rest of his life with you was, what would that have said about your relationship to Draco and most importantly about yourself as a person? So even if the fact that your actions might had hurt the blond boy and with that hurt you even more than they already did as well, you knew that your decision had been right. You couldn’t be in a relationship with a person who you weren’t even sure if you knew them properly and ending things was the only logical conclusion. But how were you supposed to explain that to Blaise?

“Listen, Blaise, it´s not like I wanted this. Not like I have fun doing this. But it´s the right thing. After what Draco has done…”

You didn’t finish the sentence, staring at your feet instead.

“What could he possibly have done wrong that you are so upset with him?”, Blaise asked, sounding genuinely irritated. “On the same day in the classes everything still seemed to be alright and only a few hours later you act as if Draco has murdered your favourite owl.” He stopped in his tracks and glared at you. “Hold on, he didn´t, did he?”

You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh as you shook your head.

“No, he didn’t.”

Blaise let out a sigh of relief.

“See, it can´t be that bad if you´re still laughing about it.” He remained silent for a few moments, but when you didn’t answer and just shrugged your shoulders, he continued: “I know Draco can be difficult from time to time, (Y/n). But what I know just as well is that he loves you and that he would never hurt you on purpose. So maybe it was just a misunderstanding or he just…”

“Oh, trust me, there was not much room for misinterpretation.”, you interrupted him bitterly.

Blaise shrugged his shoulders helplessly.

“If you say so. But maybe it would still help you to talk to him once more. Or at least listen to what he has to say to you.”

“As if he would have ever tried. He´s ignoring me ever since.”

“So do you.”

“I have every reason to. Trust me, Blaise.”

“Maybe Draco just wants to give you some space. And when you´re ready, he will gladly come up to you and maybe you can work it out then. I´m sure of that.”

You remained silent. Blaise let out a sigh.

“Just think about it, (Y/n).”

You nodded in response.

“I will.”

Blaise gave you a wry smile.

“That´s all I can ask for for now, I guess.”

“Trust me, it is.”

The Slytherin let out a low chuckle.

“Alright then my job here is done, I guess. I still have Quidditch practice anyway. See you around, (Y/n).”

You returned his smile half-hearted.

“See you, Blaise.”

The Slytherin had already turned away from you, when suddenly, he stopped, looking back at you once more.

“Draco loves you, (Y/n). He´d do anything for you. You just have to ask for it. And if he… If he would be up to something stupid…” Blaise looked at the ground, shifting his weight uncomfortably. “Draco knows right from wrong, even if he doesn’t always admit it. So if he has gotten himself into something, I´m sure he has a good reason for it. And I also know for sure that you love him way too much to let him go through this alone.”

And with that, the tall boy finally turned away completely, leaving you alone by the shore, looking at the water, as your thoughts were murmuring in your minds just like the waves in front of you.

The following night, you didn’t sleep as bad as you had ever since you had left Draco in his dorm that day, hunted by his face in your dreams just as much as when you were lying awake, but you simply didn’t sleep at all.

After a few sleepless hours, before you were even realizing what you were doing, you snug up to your wardrobe, pulling out the sweater you had tucked in there carelessly the day you had returned from Draco´s dorm for the last time. When back then you had noticed that you were still wearing Draco´s clothes, you had ripped it off immediately, stuffing it into the deepest corner of your closet. And until that very day, you had refused to take it out there again. But for some reason, tonight you just couldn’t resist.

When you were lying in bed again, the sweater covering you like a blanket and inhaling Draco´s scent that by now already threatened to vanish, Blaise´s words echoed through your head. You knew that Draco and Blaise were good friends and that Blaise probably actually just hated to see his friend suffer after you had broken up with him, yet his last words made you suspect that maybe Blaise knew even more than he had told you. But then again, he hadn’t said anything that hadn’t gone through your mind as well over the last few days. While in the second you had seen the dark mark placed on your boyfriend´s arm, you had felt nothing but disappointment and betrayal. You had been wondering how Draco had still been willing to join the Death Eaters, after everything You-Know-Who had done to this world – and also to his family. Because after all, Draco´s father was sitting in Azkaban because he had been caught as a part of the very same group his son had now joined as well. As you had thought about it later once more, however, you couldn’t had helped but wondering whether it had actually been Draco´s free will to follow in his father’s footsteps. And after your talk to Blaise, you were wondering even more about the blond boy´s motives. Because while it was quite possible that for Blaise the pieces had just fallen together just like they had done for you, it was also possible that he knew something more about what exactly was going on with Draco. This thought however was almost just as hurtful. Because that would mean that Draco would trust his roommate more than he trusted you. And if you were honest, this had probably been the worst thing about the situation from the very beginning. You had always known that Draco had always been fascinated by the dark arts and that his family had taught him some values and beliefs that were in your eyes very extreme, to put it nicely, but you had never actually minded. Because you knew a side of Draco, that he rarely showed to others. He had granted you a look behind the walls he had put up, and what you had seen there had been what you had fallen in love with. And what you still were in love with. You thought you had known all of Draco, all his dreams and his fears, just as he knew all of you. And to discover that there was a part of him that he had intentionally hidden from you, simply broke your heart. At what point in your relationship had you lost his unconditional trust, his willingness to tell you everything? Had you ever even had it at all? Or had everything been a lie since the very beginning? You shook your head, trying to get rid of those unwelcoming thoughts. No, you knew Draco. Better than everyone else. And if there was a part of him, that you still had yet to discover, you were more than willing to do so. You knew that no matter what, things would never be the same as they used to be, but how they would develop was in your hands. And even if for now you weren’t quite sure yet, how you wanted things to turn out, you knew one thing for sure: No matter what the future would hold for you – you wanted to go through it with Draco.

Quietly, you got up from your bed and slipped into your shoes, before you sneaked to the door of your dorm.

When the cold air of the night hit your skin, you shivered. Still, you continued your way, sneaking up the stairs of the tower, placing your feet carefully to prevent the old material from creaking. The wind was stronger up here on the platform, pulling at your hair and your clothes. But you barely even noticed it, your gaze fixed on the tall silhouette leaning against the bannister. You couldn’t help the small smile that crept on your face when you took a step closer.

“I knew you would be here.”, you spoke up.

Even though your voice was soft and barely audible over the howling of the wind, the shadow flinched and turned around quickly. When his gaze met yours, you thought to see his eyes lighting up for the split of a second, before his face went blank again.

Draco´s expression didn’t change as he watched you walking towards him with narrowed eyes, until you had finally reached the railing, leaning against it right next to him, while you returned his gaze without blinking once.

“What do you want?”, he finally raised to speak. His voice sounded strange. It was the same tone he always struck when he was talking to people he considered beneath his dignity, yet you could hear it shaking slightly.

“I was looking for you.”

“You found me now, didn’t you?”

“I did.”

“So, what now?”

You bit your lip, glancing at the boy, who was glaring at you with piercing eyes.

“I want to talk.”

Draco huffed.

“Now you suddenly want to.”

“I do.”

“But maybe I don’t want to. It was the same with you when I tried to talk to you, wasn’t it?”

You raised an eyebrow.

“Can you blame me?”

Silence.

“So?”

“Why do you even care? You were the one who left, remember?”

You took a deep breath. You could argue that Draco had been the one who had started what had led to the end. That it had been the only right thing to do. That he had been the one who had let you go. But you knew that starting this argument wouldn’t bring you anywhere at that point. And after all, Draco was also somehow right.

“I… I didn’t think about anything else ever since.”, you finally admitted in a low voice.

“So that´s why you´re here? To sooth your conscience?”, he spat out.

“No, I´m here because just because I left that day it doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you anymore!”

Draco´s eyes widened slightly at your confession, one that you both had already been aware of, but also one both of you had been too proud to admit.

“Why would you?” His voice now sounded raspier than ever, and you could see that Draco´s eyes were slightly glossy. “After everything that happened. Why would you still care?”

You took a step closer to Draco. Your hand on the railing now covered his. The boy flinched, his gaze flickered to where your hands were touching, probably remembering painfully what had happened the last time your hands had been intertwined, but he didn’t pull away.

“We´ve been together for such a long time, Draco. I fell in love with you years ago and no matter what we´ve been through, I never stopped. And I… I don’t think I ever will. Even if I wanted to. So if you want me to, I will be with you. And we will get through this together. No matter what it takes. We… I trust you with my life. With everything I have and I need you to know that you can do the same. So if you tell me what is wrong, I will help you. I promise.”

You saw the corner of Draco´s mouth twitching up at your words. He removed his hand from under yours, as he closed the remaining gap between the two of you until your chests almost touched, and cupped your face with his hands. As the blond boy smiled down at you, you felt your heart skipping a beat. While your yearning over the past few days had almost eaten you up, only now that you felt his closeness once more, you realized what exactly you had been missing. And you swore to yourself that you would never let it go ever again that easily.

Draco bent down and pressed his soft lips on your forehead, making you melt into his touch even more. Then he pulled back slightly, looking at you with a softness in his eyes that you had barely ever seen before, even after all those years.

“I know, love. I know the things you would do for me, and I want you to know that I would do just the same for you. And that´s why I am so sorry. For the things I have done and the things I am about to do. And mostly…” He gulped heavily, his eyes scanning every feature of your face, taking in even the smallest details, before he continued: “Mostly I am sorry that this is never going to happen. Because I can´t tell you what I am up to. I can´t get you involved in any of those things. It doesn’t matter if you want to go back to what we were, because we won´t, (Y/n). That´s the end.” Draco took a step back, his hands slipping from your cheeks, leaving behind nothing but the coldness that was embracing you now instead of him. “I´m truly sorry.”

And with that, Draco turned around, leaving you on your own, staring at the place he had stood only seconds ago in disbelief, making you wonder who you hated more at this moment. Him for being the one to leave you this time or yourself for actually letting him go.

If you had thought that you had been at your worst after you had left Draco, you had been wrong. Because now that he had been the one leaving you behind, you felt a thousand times worse. You spend your time staring into the void and now, you weren’t simply ignoring Draco anymore, but tensing up to an unknown level, feeling the tears pricking in your eyes that had failed to do so back on the Astronomy Tower. Because while back then you had barely understood the entire situation, by now the realization slowly started to sink in. You still didn’t know what Draco was up to or what had happened to him in the past, but by now you were absolutely sure that Draco was still the same guy that had meant so much to you from the second you had placed your foot in his train department back on your ride to Hogwarts in your first year. Obviously, many things had changed since then, but the strong connection that you had always felt between Draco and you was still there. And to know that you yet couldn’t be with him for whatever mysterious reason, just made it so much harder for you to deal with the situation.

By now you just felt as if the entire world was against you and you just hated everything and everyone around you, blaming your surroundings for the fact that Draco had taken your opportunity to fix the worst mistake you had ever made in your life away from you again. And so when Blaise approached you one day, asking you how you were feeling, the poor boy was utterly confused when you glared at him with defiance of death, telling him that he should have never suggested talking to Draco and trying to fix the situation, because after all, now you knew for sure that everything was over once and for all and would never get better ever again. And when you stormed away, you were so caught up in your own thoughts and self-pity, that you didn’t even notice how Pansy joined Blaise, who still didn’t quite understand what he had done wrong, and the both of you were watching you walking away with a blank look on your face, with your eyes being glossy nevertheless.

“I really thought they would figure it out.”, Blaise said helplessly.

“You´re not the only one.”, Pansy sighed. “There must be something we can do about this. It´s unbearable to watch them like this.”

You stared at the school grounds underneath you, lying there in silence. The wind howling around the Astronomy Tower wasn’t nearly as strong as when you had been there with Draco, but over the last few days, it had gotten much colder. A shiver ran down your spine. You weren’t sure whether it was because of the cold or the memories that were flooding your mind every single time you got up here. Probably both.

You tried to recall the feeling you had had when for a wonderful moment you had thought that everything might work out after all that night. You remembered the warmth of his hands cupping your cheeks, the feeling of his lips pressed against your forehead, the overwhelming affection you had felt when Draco had looked into your eyes. But even though not much time had passed since then, you already felt all those feelings fading. And the more you tried to recall them, the quicker they vanished. And you already feared the moment, all of this would be nothing more than a distant memory, something you knew had happened to you at some point in your life, that by then would feel like the one of a stranger; a story you would know but would have anything to hold onto except for the knowledge that it did happen. You closed your eyes, trying to savour the warm feeling flooding through your body you had always felt when some grey eyes had been smiling down at you.

“You shouldn’t be up here on your own.”

You spun around quickly, looking into the very same eyes that you had just tried to remember so badly. For a second you thought that this was a sick game your mind was playing with you, to regain a shimmer of hope before suffocating it once more, but if it would have been that way, the smile Draco held on his face would actually reach his eyes and he wouldn’t hesitate to approach you, like he did now.

Finally, he made a few steps towards you, walking up to you slowly, until he had reached the banister. Draco kept his distance from you, as his gaze wandered over the land under you, just like yours had done only minutes before. You turned around again as well, eying Draco carefully from the corner of your eye. From the way his jaw clenched, and he was playing with the rings on his fingers, you could tell that he was nervous. Trying to build up the courage to finally speak up. You felt the corner of your mouth twitching upwards involuntarily. You just knew him far too well after all.

You didn’t know how long you had been standing there in silence, staring at the castle´s ground, before Draco finally spoke up.

“I really screwed up, didn’t I?”

You nodded, even though you weren’t sure if he could see since his gaze was still fixed on the landscape in front of you.

“I think we both did.”

Draco let out a small chuckle before he shook his head.

“No, (Y/n). You´ve done nothing wrong. Merlin, I think you couldn’t, no matter how hard you tried.”

“Don´t challenge me, Malfoy.”, you responded.

But the moment the words left your mouth, you regretted them again already. It just reminded you too much of your silly bickering back when everything had been just fine. Which it wasn’t anymore. So you also shouldn’t be joking around like it was.

“We both know I would fail.”

You just shrugged your shoulders in response, not willing to give in to the warmth that flooded through your body when you heard that familiar smirk in his voice.

After a few more moments of silence, you sighed and took a step back from the railing. No matter how much you wanted to stay with Draco right now, no matter how every fibre of your body was screaming at you to not walk away but only get closer to the boy you still loved with all your heart, you knew that this was probably the worst thing you could do. And the only right action right now was to leave the tower and Draco behind, as long as you were still capable of doing so.

You cleared your throat.

“I assume you came here to be alone. So I don’t want to bother you any longer.”

But before you had even turned around completely, Draco´s voice held you back.

“You don’t bother me, (Y/n). You know you never do. Besides... Actually, I was looking for you.” You froze in your steps, trying to prevent your heart from going crazy inside your chest. It didn’t work. “I… I talked a lot with Blaise and Pansy lately, you know?”, he continued. “And I figured out that maybe… I wasn’t quite fair to you.”

No, he hadn’t been. But neither had you been.

You forced yourself to smile.

“It´s okay, Draco. I don’t need your sympathy. I´ll be just fine.”

This was a lie. And the blond boy knew it just as well as you did. Still, he just nodded.

“I know you will be. But…” Draco took a deep breath. “I won´t. Not without you.”

And with that confession, all the walls the two of you had built up around you, tumbled down just like that. You turned around to Draco again, who was standing there, looking defeated, shoulders sloping, and his gaze fixed on his shoes. His lips were trembling dangerously, in a way you had never seen before.

That was all you needed. With a few quick steps, you closed the gap between the Slytherin and you and wrapped your arms around him. It took Draco a few moments to return the gesture, but when he did, he held you impossibly close, as if he never wanted to let you go ever again. And in this moment, he didn’t have any intention to do so indeed. You buried your face in his chest, inhaling his familiar scent and enjoying the feeling of comfort his embrace granted you.

“I´m sorry, love. I´m so sorry.”, Draco mumbled into your ear, his face hidden in your hair.

“It´s okay. It´s alright.”, you whispered repeatedly, clenching onto him, holding Draco up, just like he did with you.

Finally, Draco loosened his grip around you slightly, not much, but just enough so he could look down at you.

“I promise I will tell you everything there is to say. And I will answer all your questions. But just so you know – I never wanted this. None of this. And the least of all I wanted to hurt you. But I guess I failed.”

You could feel a tear dripping down your cheek, and Draco brushed it away with his thumb gently, making you smile through the haze of tears.

“It´s not only on you. I… I shouldn’t have left that day. That wasn’t fair either. But it´s just like I promised. I will stay with you and we will get through this. Together.”

A small smile appeared on Draco´s face.

“So no lies anymore? No secrets?”

You nodded.

“No lies and no secrets. Promised.”

And when Draco pressed his lips on yours, it felt like no time had passed since that day that you had been laying in his dorm, cuddling and whispering sweet nothings into each other´s ears. Just like that, the whole world was falling into place again, as if every problem had just disappeared the moment you finally felt the lips of the boy you loved endlessly again.

When Draco pulled back, you could see the boyish smirk on his face, you had missed so much ever since the school year had started. His fingers traced over your lips and cheek, before brushing a strand of hair out of your face, making you giggle.

“Merlin, have I missed that sound.”, Draco grinned, before pressing a small kiss on the tip of your nose, making another small laugh erupting from you.

Your fingers were buried deep in Draco´s soft hair, drawing some small circles on his scalp as you got lost in his grey eyes, just like he did in yours.

“Draco?”, you spoke up after a while again.

The blond boy just hummed in response.

“There is one thing I still have to tell you.”

“And what would that be, princess?”

“I lied to you earlier once more.”

Draco raised an eyebrow questioningly.

“I said that I would be alright. That I would be fine without you.”

The boy in front of you tilted his head and looked at you with narrowed eyes.

“You did indeed. Pretty hurtful, if you ask me.”

You chuckled. “I know. Sorry.” But then you grew serious again. “That´s it. That was the lie. I wasn’t okay when you were gone. I felt absolutely miserable. And I… I don’t think that I´ll ever be. Alright. Without you, I mean. I love you, Draco. And I don’t want to be without you.”

A small smile appeared on Draco´s face. But not the cocky grin you were used to, but a real smile. A vulnerable one.

“Love, don’t you ever think for a second that I feel any different about you, alright? I love you, (Y/n). More than you can imagine. And I can promise you, that I will never stop doing so until the day I die. And beyond that.”

And that was true. Draco loved you just as unconditionally as you loved him and the both of you knew that. Maybe it was true. Maybe sometimes you only knew what you had lost when it was already gone. But maybe only like that you would also learn to fight for it to get it back once and for all.

Taglist: @xodracomalfoyxo @marigold-morelli @army24—7 @lbhmoon @cappgyuccino @writingwitch007 @myomy0ss @tinafuentes @dmslvt @Slytherin4eva @foulkryptonitepeanut @chillcheesecake @pottertea @webswatts @jaiistg @ceehance

#draco malfoy #draco x reader #draco x female reader #draco x you #draco x y/n #draco fluff #draco fanfiction #draco fic #harry potter #blaise zabini #pansy parkinson #slytherin #fanfic #fanfiction

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horanghoe · 2 years ago

Text

SBIADITO - Scarlet Fever 1/2

Main Masterlist // SVT Masterlist

Group: Seventeen

Members Mentioned: Hoshi//Soonyoung, S.Coups//Seungcheol, The8//Minghao, Han//Jeonghan

Pairing: Werewolf!Soonyoung x Reader (Fem Perspective)

Genre: Angst / Fuff / Heavy Smut / Werewolf!SVT, minors dni !!

Word Count: Just over 17K

T/W’s: Heavy smut with frequent mention of Werewolf features & lore. This is purely fiction and not intended to harm. If you don’t like Werewolf!au’s, please scroll on, with peace and love!!

(Pls dm me if you would like a trigger warning added ♡)

SPECIAL SHOUTOUTS & A HUGE THANK YOU TO ALL MY BETA READERS:

Banner, Header & Divider Art: @classicscreations

MTG Discord Furries /jk/: @slightlymore // @raibebe // @starlitmark// @just-come-baek

IMPORTANT AUTHOR NOTES:

Wow. So I think it's fair to say I never ever ever thought in my time here writing that a werewolf series would even be in my league, but here we are, wahahaha... This beast took me over 3 months to fully draft, write and edit. (There's already an Epilogue of the original series, (Spider Boy Is A Dog In This One) in the works, along with an edit of the OGS!)... So please stick around for more ;) Asks welcome!!

Music to listen to while reading ♡ (in no particular order)

None currently on the OP's mind - please feel free to recommend some via my ask inbox ;)

In the dark, familiar belly of your home; your breath stilled.

Soonyoung was having a nightmare again.

You could hear him struggling. Again.

Through your link. Through the pain.

Through the walls.

With a soft exhale, you padded across the living room to approach the space leading to his doorway.

You had been camping out in your own living room for near enough eight long and silently dragged-out hours.

Listening with an aching ear to your Mate’s irregular breathing and the violent fluctuations of his heart rates through the thick, distant walls. Attending to his moans of discomfort; the duvet being thrown off his body, on, then off again. Pressing him with water, or food, whenever able.

He was in deep, deep Fever.

And you couldn’t stand to be away from him any longer.

“What is it? What’s wrong with him, Jeonghan? What is it you’re not telling me?!”

Jeonghan had sighed, with a withdrawn look seeping even further across his face than when the two of them had entered your home.

Jeonghan looked to his left side, whining softly. His hands twisted together as older brother Seungcheol shared that pained, unspoken expression with him. You instead turned to whisper-yell towards Jeonghan; your closest confidant and the second half of the hierarchy.

“I’ve never witnessed anyone in this family even catch a cold, let alone anyone get so sick that they become bedridden Han?!”

You spared a glare towards Seungcheol, only to be met with the crown of his head.

They were avoiding your eyes.

And it was rightfully making you aggressive and irate.

The two Alphas had come to check on their brother per request. To protect their adopted sister - you - again, per request. And yet, the two Alphas sat, withdrawn, in the middle of your home, with nothing to offer but side eyes and uncomfortable expressions.

The sanctity of your high rise was being mitigated by Soonyoung’s sudden illness and the Alpha brothers' sudden beckoning. The two men could smell the stress coming off of you in hot waves.

“Why is nobody answering me?!” You finally yelled, tugging your silk nightgown closer against your body, heart rate rising with a sudden pump of adrenaline. You knew better than to shout at your leaders. Yet you were pressed into a corner, and desperate for a response.

“You came here because I asked for your help - and yet you have nothing to say?! There was no point in you coming all this way just to sit in silence, so you may as well leave!”

A sharp warning of a growl and a ticked jaw from eldest brother Seungcheol made you turn on your heels quickly, out towards the window. You puffed out your cheeks like a kid being scolded, hugging yourself tightly with a pumping heart and an instant strike of guilt. Soonyoung wasn’t here to negotiate the social politics of Wolves, and you were out of fucks to give. A dangerous combo.

You weren’t about to apologise, but your gut told you it was wrong; so if you had to stand your ground with a prickle of desperate sadness striking up your throat, you would do so with your back turned.

For a Wolf, turning your back signified trust.

But it also flagged up the indirect demand for space.

A moment to gather yourself. A minute to bite your tongue and feel it bleed in an effort not to speak out against the pack’s rigid hierarchy.

The soft breeze billowed your unfamiliarly distressed scent out then back into your very own home as they stayed silent.

Respectful of your body language; even if you didn’t know what it was you were demanding, they remained stoic.

Your fingers and palms danced at your face, dappling away the tears on your sore cheeks, sniffling against your shaking knuckles. All the while trying to breathe through the sudden heavy lump surfacing in your throat.

You heard a rustle in the distance; digging your nails into the soft flesh of your bicep - the noise had come from your Mates' room; anxious to your body no doubt stirring him with your chemically pungent grief, only a few metres away.

Jeonghan and Seungcheol had heard it too. Exchanging a look that confirmed they would need to comfort you while their brother was displaced.

They often forgot you were born human.

That being an Omega who needed guidance was not something that came instinctively to you. That your metamorphosis of lifestyles and sacrifice of power and anonymity would be life-long.

They would do well to remember it.

You whimpered, defeated, with your chin tucked in and lip wobbling in grief.

“I just want to know what’s wrong with my husband…..”

Your soft peal of grief touched Jeonghan. He knew it well.

His own Mate had been turned, Human to Wolf. Memories of his wedding flashed behind his eyes at the endearing way you referred to Soonyoung - as your 'husband’ - recalling memories of your wedding, also. He remembered the way he cried in joy for his brother. For you.

Although Mated for life, the wolves had gone through an unnecessary human wedding process for their loved ones, upon their request. They never regretted it once; this seemed to just be yet another building block in the path to a healthy life bond.

Jeonghan considered the kindred connection between you both. He stood for a moment, adjusting his suit, attire out of place for the morning hour, the fabric still tinged with his Mate's citrus scent. Then, he approached you, meeting your side at the window.

His palm reached to your furthest shoulder, pulling you towards him until you crumbled against his side. Tucking your scalp against his Adam's apple. Embracing you, despite your tense demeanour. Taking a moment to connect and intake a heavy amount of air; before releasing with an angelic-sounding sigh.

“You’re okay, pup.” Jeonghan whispered soothingly, “You’re okay.”

A smile breached his face, expression placating entirely; matching your fearful teary eyes in the windows’ reflection.

“We know you’re scared. But we’re here for you, Y/N, as much as we’re here our brother. You’re okay, pup. We’re here now. Take a breath. Nothing is going to suddenly change. No one else is going to invade your space - not even within the next few days - not without our permission, first.”

The insinuation of ‘our permission’ was that the two oldest Alphas were now protecting you both. It made your heart weep, happily.

“Me and Cheol are here - your brothers are here, Y/N. And Soonyoung doesn’t need to be removed. You’ll stay together, for now… So take a deep breath. For me, please?”

His voice calmed your nerves an unreasonable amount.

You pressed your palm against Jeonghan’s rib cage; body reacting to the proximity of another man, another Wolf, another Alpha via its own whims; such a feeling was unfamiliar, strange.

While you were smart enough to realise that Jeonghan was exerting a considerable amount of force on you emotionally to control you; you were not knowledgeable enough quite yet to realise how desperately you needed to let your walls down for them.

It was a generous attempt at contorting your grief into comfort, and Jeonghan was particularly skilled at manipulating emotions in others…

But you were even more stubborn.

The two of you now glared at each other like siblings about to spark a brawl, inches away from each other's faces.

So much so, that the tugging on either side was tangible to even Seungcheol who sat behind you both. The elder rolled his eyes with a slight sigh.

‘She’s not going to curb, Han. Not while she’s this distraught. Step down, before you waste your energy - or better yet, start a fight on her turf - brother.’ Seungcheol murmured mentally through the link, bypassing you entirely.

Jeonghan’s cheek muscle twitched in response. You were capable of more than Seungcheol yet knew.

“Breathe, pup. Before you pass out.” Jeonghan growled, ever so delicately.

You readied your mouth, ready to speak back, before -

“Do it. Now. I won’t ask you again.” Jeonghan grit his jaw; enacting harsh love without a second thought. Before releasing a sad sigh that sagged his upper body down into a weak curve. “Break the tension, pup… We’re not here to fight.”

Jeonghan’s eyes flashed a bright tulip yellow; the type of power that forced a clap of white noise into your brain - showing that to all company present in the room, through his true power, the sixth sense tug and pull was merely child's play to him - you were finally compelled to do as you were instructed, as much as he hated to use it on you.

Your lungs heaved a deep, sudden inhale

“You cheap shot fuck.” You bit back, hitting Jeonghan in the chest with weak fists. The sudden intake of oxygen made you dizzy; your body entirely at will to the Alpha that held you steady.

“Atta girl.” He purred, gripping your elbow as you padded on the balls of your feet, knees buckling ever so slightly under the weight of his exerted link. “Just - take a second to get your brain back - then we’ll explain what’s going on as best as we can. How does that sound, hmm, our fierce little newly-turned? Some answers might help settle your nerves a bit; whenever you’re ready.”

You wanted to argue with him. Truly, you did.

But after so many hours of feeling disconnected from another Alpha - Soonyoung or otherwise; journeying through stress and fear alone - you finally felt safe with the two of them directing you.

Even if it killed a huge part of you to admit that.

And whether you realised it or not; their presence eased this new part of you, to a noticeable degree.

After a few spare seconds of considering their words, you finally averted your eyes, frowning and exhaling in defeat. Breathing again, the tension of your shoulder muscles began to release, and you nodded to the Alphas mentally. ‘Go ahead’.

“Good job,” Jeonghan hummed, solely to you. “You’re in our care now, Y/N. You’re safe. I promise.”

Jeonghan’s lips pressed against your forehead in a platonic kiss, before his grip slacked, allowing you to pull away.

You chose to stay close to him though. Heart pattering loudly to every Wolf in the room. Standing there, covered in only your thin night clothes.

‘Just follow Cheol’s lead.’ Jeonghan prompted internally, soft in tone. ‘And all will be okay, in the end.’

You felt strangely…vulnerable.

Shifting on your feet to cautiously glance at them both under your eyelashes. They didn’t seem mad. Nor upset. But you still felt awful.

Soonyoung had originally gone to sleep early complaining of common illness symptoms; something Wolves could sleep off in a matter of hours. This time, however, was different. Something felt wrong.

It was nearly 3 am when you called them. Terrified as to why Soonyoung was sweating and moaning as his muscles cramped and rippled in agonising pain, calling out to you to 'Call my older brothers!' through the link in his sleep.

They had sped to you immediately from the other side of the city and made it to you by half past the hour. Sending Minghao to sit with you in the lounge - living only a few floors below and already unsettled by the ‘bad vibes’ he had caught through deep sleep - until Jeonghan and Seungcheol got there; the three brothers closing Soonyoung away and in his room, alone, as a ‘precaution’.

When they arrived; Minghao was sent away. Despite his insistence to stay by your side; they seemed set to speak to you alone. You were left waiting alone on the couch for the better part of an hour as they stayed with your Mate, deadly silent, in his room.

You ended up pacing quick lengths across the suite window view as the sun began to rise - until they exited, without words, to take a seat on your couch, with a look someone only gave when they had bad news to share. They had the look of bereavement that you never wanted to live down.

“We thought he would have told you by now,” Seungcheol spoke aloud after some time. His voice as steady and clear as ever. “We didn’t realise he had left it this long -”

“Thought he would have told me what, exactly?” You shot back, bitterly.

A squeeze from Jeonghan’s hand reminded you that they were on your side. Peaking a glance up at his forgiving expression. Though well renowned for being something of a tease, Jeonghan’s yellow eyes held a good ounce of compassion inside of them. There were some selfless ions inside that body of his. But even they dressed in sheep's clothing.

You sighed through your nose on a pressed exhale, shifting on your toes.

“Told me…. what?” You tried once more.”Soonyoung should have told me what, exactly, Cheol?”

It sounded a little better - more respectful. Your shift in tone made Jeonghan chuckle, releasing your arm as you turned to see Seungcheol. A faint smile eased onto the elder's face. Jeonghan’s opposite arm rejoined your shoulder, facing forward this time.

A beat of silence passed before Seungcheol thanked you quietly, dipping his head at your correction - a sign to say he had accepted the otherwise shaky attempt at repairing your composure, with great fondness and tolerance.

You bowed your head back.

It was enough for the Alphas. And they weren’t about to ask you for anything more. Even in your own home, you were still sometimes a little lost in their world. Just thankful for their patience in teaching you their ways.

The older Alphas' gaze was intense when he opened his mouth and finally began to speak, capturing your attention completely.

“Soonyoung suffers from a pretty rare genetic disease. He was the only one who caught it in our generation and we’ve only been able to track it back roughly nine generations - to no cure known. That may seem like a lot of lifetimes to a human, but our lineage is aeons-old. He just happened to draw the short straw in the gene pool, I’m afraid.”

Seungcheol watched your face contort. Stuck somewhere between being confused and afraid. His expression softened, along with his tone.

“Our little Soonyoungie has always suffered from Scarlet Fever,” Jeonghan noted. “Sometimes…. Well, some phases can become worse than others…” He trailed off slightly, eyes unfocused as memories flashed behind his eyes.

“I’m imagining you’re aware of our cycles by now, Y/N? And how it follows the Moon’s cycles, bi-monthly?” Seungcheol continued where his brother had left off, the two of them working like Cheshire cats in tandem with each other.

You nodded, looking down bashfully as your own memories of Heats and ruts passed in your mind's eye. You returned eye contact gradually, to then allow the Wolf to continue.

He was patient because he knew you learned these things pretty fast.

“And I’m safely presuming that your people have, in the past, told you tales of our vicious, beastly turns on new moons, and the like? Young, fair maidens come to mind?” Seungcheol's question was pinched and drenched in sarcasm, despite his efforts to conceal his disdain.

Your head dipped again into a nod, somewhat ashamed. You were more Wolf now than ever, but you knew the damage of the folklore humans had spread for centuries would forever stain the real love of these gentle beasts.

“Yeah, they did…” You nodded again. “I never knew they could be so wrong, though, Cheol.” Your words had weight to them. Raising your head as Seungcheol scoffed in agreement. Jeonghan smiled to himself just out of sight, then hummed again pleased, pushing forward.

“The stronger the cycle, the stronger our Omega’s Heats, our own ruts, hormones, hunger, thirst, intuition, senses, everything - EVERYTHING - becomes. Just for our Soonyoungie… It can become so strong, that it inhibits him from socialising -”

“With humans,” Seungcheol interjected with a sore expression and tone.

“Right,” Jeonghan nodded with a sharp sigh. “It prevents him from socialising with humans - in our newly mixed world. Otherwise, things… Well, he can become very dangerous, little sis. It’s not something we can prevent, or protect people from. Especially when the Scarlet hits suddenly. He can lash out, and get confused like a rabid animal. It’s - it’s not fun to see.”

“He’s a danger to society when in deep fever, Y/N.” The leader spoke in a stern and deeply impactful tone.

Or, maybe, it was just the words' meanings that carried a message to you like a scream in the night.

“He has gravely injured people in the past, and I have no doubt he would have killed many more without our family sticking close by.”

“All to no fault of his own, that is,” Jeonghan added, again very tenderly. His brother hummed in solemn agreement. “He suffers from it as much if not more than, the people around him. It’s in his body, after all...”

“It’s important for you to know about all of this, in case of any incidents where you may be alone together again in the future Y/N. You may need to spot the signs for its progression, as he spots you for your early Heats.”

Seungcheol rounded his speech off remarkably delicately given his usual stern and unbending nature, and you would have been amused, were it not for the long beats of silence that followed afterwards.

“I’m sorry, on behalf of all of us; you should’ve been warned sooner. But it was Soonyoung’s story to tell, and I can see now what not telling you could’ve done. The danger we could’ve put you in. The fear and pain keeping such a secret could have caused. I’m sorry, Y/N. On behalf of the family.”

Seungcheol dipped his head solemnly, followed by a slight bow from his brother.

It was rare to get such an apology; so it struck even more anxiety in your heart as to what exactly the fever could do, to warrant such an action.

You returned the Alpha’s small bow, a show of respect and understanding, but your brow still creased, working quickly to gather the breadcrumbs in your mind.

Somehow, they had managed to warn you about Scarlet Fever; yet gave absolutely no reasons as to why it was inherently a bad disease to have. It didn’t take you long to realise that they were both incredibly clueless.

“Dangerous?” You mumbled aloud after a short while, troubled by the thought of your bubbly and sweet caring Soonyoung causing anyone harm outside his job of protecting the pack and his family.

“I realise it’s his line of work to get into brawls, but… He’s maimed people because of this?” You questioned tentatively, “Purposefully? Because he’s what - lost control of himself? That doesn’t make any sense, Hannie. That’s not like him at all. Even you can see that - right?”

Jeonghan hummed ly. He could see your pain, clear as day.

“When the pull of the moon is too strong, out and about on the streets of the city, you may not know friend from foe. Scarlet makes it very hard to suppress the instincts of an average Wolf, let alone an Alpha.”

Jeonghan puffed a huge exhale, clearing his throat.

“You may mistake someone waving at a friend as an attempt to throw something at you, or take another being’s scent - friend or foe - and lose yourself trying to chase and track it. Could end up in a different District following an otherwise fruitless path.”

“Could end up in another city,” Seungcheol mumbled, eyes distant this time.

Jeonghan nodded, then continued.

“It might be hard to think of Soonyoungie like this… but, it has happened before. He’s ventured too far from home. Sure, maimed people, if you want to call it that. We wouldn’t lie to you for fun, Y/N. We’re just looking out for you as an extension of our younger brother.”

You met Jeonghan’s forgiving eyes with your own, searching them for any space of a lie, before dipping your head in defeat. You could see no deception. Sense nothing but the truth from the two of them. Smell nothing but familial, platonic love in their presence trying to comfort you.

“There are two options for us to consider as a family here. You could either stay here with Soonyoung, and we will leave him in your care with some guidance,” Jeonghan started, voice low and somehow even more delicate than before.

“Or you can stay with one of us for a while, and we’ll send one of his brothers’ to watch over him in a few hours. Either way, we won’t press you for an answer right now, and the final decision is yours to make.” Seungcheol rounded off with a smile. And surprisingly to you, a low growl.

What would otherwise indicate aggression was almost like a purr from the older Alpha.

And as you and Seungcheol watched each others’ faces for confirmation, you faintly heard Soonyoungs’ pulse on a steady beat. Your gut churned at the thought of leaving him there alone for a week; confused and in pain. If you knew anything about your Mate, you knew that in some way or another, he would search for you, and potentially harm himself in doing so if you left the high-rise to stay with his brothers.

So, before you knew it, you had barked out an answer.

“I’ll stay!” A strong growl released from the back of your throat and over your tongue as you yapped, making Jeonghan laugh heartily at your side.

You made a shocking squeaking sound at the back of your voice box that caused your tongue to recoil into the back of your throat, before apologising quickly with a bowed head.

It had been over three years since your turning, but you were still adapting to the changes.

As usual, neither of them minded.

“Cute, pup.” Jeonghan snickered, knocking you gently with his hip.

After all, you were an adopted younger sister to them now. And they only wanted you and Soonyoung to remain safe, happy, and well looked after under their care.

“Of course,” Seungcheol chuckled. He reached for your palm, providing a tight squeeze in reassurance, before letting go. “You can stay with him as long as you’d like. But we’ll stop by occasionally to check on the two of you. I do have some bad news, though. Would you like to hear it?”

What a silly question, you thought, but nodded a solid yes regardless. Does anybody ever really feel prepared for bad news? Not in your opinion. But you supposed it was kinder to ask for permission than to throw it upon someone unknowingly.

“Unfortunately - “ Seungcheol hummed, disdain on his quipped sigh. Lip quirked down from his sun-through-the-clouds, break of a smile; fluidly moving into his more familiar and earnest expression at breakneck speed.

Despite what some members had shared with you about their brothers' stiffness, you truly enjoyed being witness to the occasional breaks that Seungcheol shared with you. His heavy warm hugs, gummy smiles, and occasionally an airy high-pitched laugh that lit up any space. It was an honour that you made him feel safe as a part of their adopted family.

But sometimes; it was equally as warming to know that the person carrying that serious, stern voice, was perfectly willing and actually able to take on incredible feats to protect his family.

Like he was doing right now.

He was guiding you to make a decision, via a gentle push. Matching your energy and soothing your Wolf; whether you realised it or not. It was what he was born to do. And he pulled it off extremely well.

“Suppressants won’t help much with the Scarlet Fever symptoms.”

Seungcheol cleared his throat, noticing your dazed expression and offering you a mutually shared nod, before continuing.

"in fact, they pretty much do nothing at all to curb the amount of hormones being pumped through his body right now. They may possibly help if the Scarlet triggers his rut, but more often than not, he’s simply in flu-like pain. Human drugs are not nearly strong enough to ease the symptoms, as our immune systems burn out the medication before it can even hit our abdomen… I’m sorry Y/N, It might be challenging, but we’re here if you need anything. All twelve of us, I mean.”

Your brow creased, body tensing as you sensed that this conversation was about to come to an end. “And if he goes into Heat? Act as normal, or?”

Jeonghan laughed like chiming bells at his brother's expression of sudden distaste, making you smile faintly before Seungcheol nodded at you. He didn’t even bother to correct your mistake of confusing Heat with rut, simply choosing to move on with a sheepish look on his face.

“Treat the rut as normal. But if anything gets dangerous - if he doesn’t know how to stop, or if he’s injuring himself in an effort to get off - we’re only a very loud shout away. You know that, right, Y/N?”

He looked up expectantly. You quickly nodded, though more reserved than before and with a tucked chin.

“These walls are thick, but nothing can truly ever be hidden from us - as a pack, or as a family unit. Chances are we’ll sense something before you tell us, anyways. We’re just that damn clingy.” Jeonghan eye-smiled down towards you with another hip tap. “Good or bad, that is.”

Seungcheol gave one last reassurance attempt.

“Look, it’s… unlikely that he will try to hurt you. It’s unlikely that he’ll even acknowledge your presence. You’re just another Wolf to him when he’s in a deep state of fever, I'm afraid.”

Seungcheol shifted in his seat before rising.

Such a subtle movement into your space made your whole body twitch backwards; the sandwiching between the two pressing males made you feel mute, and impacted upon. It was a vulnerability to be standing between two Alphas like this. Suffocating in the wrong scenario. And both you and Jeonghan could feel it.

Jeonghan continued - with cautious eyes towards his brother that told him to stop moving, immediately from where he had stood - drawing away your attention to a more familiar and safe sight.

His hushed gentle voice eased you once again.

“He’s never signified to any of us that he even knows who we are. I’d even give it a good 99% chance he would affiliate your presence with safety, and family, but not do much beyond seek comfort. I’d consider even some basic acknowledgement as a good few steps forward.”

It was no secret to the family whose affection you preferred when facing challenges.

None of them blamed you; Jeonghan had imprinted his protection upon you since your first meeting - scared, newly turned in his brother’s arms - in their communal elevator. It touched him greatly.

The same with Minghao. You, a newly turned, had been thrown into his office and into a literal pack of wolves the day you met his brother. You were one savvy female among… idiots. And so he also watched over you as an older brother.

They both felt compelled to you and you to them, in a bond only a wolf could ever feel.

Accidents of the purest kind, that never went unnoticed by others.

Seungcheol nodded with a newly stringent tone entering his voice. Almost like he was pleading for you not to push.

“Right - but there’s always room for error. And we’ve never seen him go through the cycle with a Mate - with you, Y/N. Unfortunately for us, those fairytales were written and shared for a reason, and this is a live trial. There’s always a chance that somebody could take something too far, or for him to lash out.”

“Or a chance that it will all go absolutely swimmingly,” Jeonghan drawled with a sarcastic thin-lipped and squinted smile at his brother. You couldn’t help but laugh at his defensive side; ever the witty protector. “Right, brother?”

Seungcheol’s expression pinched with distaste before mocking his brother; then pushing out his last few points.

He realised you likely needed some time alone; space to process and freedom to hide in your safety net of a den. He was eager to leave, but only when he knew you felt secure.

“As I said; it’s unlikely anything bad will happen. But you need to bare it in mind before choosing to spend the next three or four days with him. It might sound like a short amount of time, but he's been known to cry for hours on end. To scream in pain. Starve himself to the point of exhaustion… You'll have to stay strong, Y/N. For your husband. For the family. Just as much as you would for yourself.”

Seungcheol’s tone faded as you withdrew into yourself, avoidant to their eyes and non-respondent. Fumbling with your satin shirt hem as the wind blew through the window and lifted the long sheer curtain around your feet, fabric brushing against your shins.

The jokes felt bittersweet now that you were to be left alone with your Mate, who lay tacky and feeble and in significant pain in your sole care.

“Just being by his side will be treatment enough, I imagine.” Jeonghan smiled down at you, providing one last shoulder squeeze before pulling his body away from you completely. “Shout us if you need anything beautiful. Even if it’s just to talk.”

They had left you unattended, to nurse away your remaining fear and thoughts shortly after.

Leaving you with the rising sun crawling its way over the city in a burning orange display, until the nearing full moon sat tauntingly low in the distant sky. Skulking away under the earth until it could rise again.

You had eight hours until the red moon would rise and claw its upward ascent until it sat upon its cruel throne once again.

Eight hours of bated breath and loneliness.

Oh, what you wouldn’t do to shoot the cruel thing from where it hung.

Edging around the hallway, you could hear faint whimpering and huffs coming from your Mate’s room.

You shuffled against the carpet with dreadfully heavy feet. Still not totally convinced that you should even be going anywhere near him beyond absolute necessities.

You knew not to call out for him.

Knew that this deep into such a restless sleep; this deep into his fever; that would do more harm than good anyways.

The poor guy was already disorientated; so calling into the night as he tossed and turned as some kind of awfully heavenly ghoul would likely be nothing short of torture.

Pausing at his bedroom doorway, you cracked open the door. And took a moment to absorb his state.

His room smelt like a den in Heat; only, without the intoxicating sweetness.

Sweat covered his body as he writhed in his sheets - Soonyoung’s white hair lay in contrast to the flush of his beautiful naturally honey-toned skin - the wolf having to pause occasionally to groan and whine at the deep throbbing of his bones.

Given what you were told; sneaking into a Wolf’s den as an idiot maiden with nothing but a deadly curiosity was sort of only going to give you one of two outcomes.

This was either going to end relatively badly - null response falling into this category also - or it could all go surprisingly… Well.

Maybe you were just selfish. But you could tell something was off.

The pack - the Wolf family - always seemed fearful of Soonyoung. As if he could fly off the handle at any given moment. But that didn’t make any sense. That wasn’t the Mate you knew him to be. Or the one you knew he had the potential to become.

So all this fear - in your entirely selfish and willfully naive opinion - was entirely unfounded. And just plain wrong.

But maybe, you thought, maybe he just loved you so much that no matter what the situation; he would never take it out on you.

You quickly shook that thought out of your head.

Not everyone can be the chosen one. People fight, it’s in their nature. So is being fearful of the unknown. Of which; the Wolves were guilty.

Pushing forward with a heavy chest and a huge puff of a sigh; you entered the Wolf's den.

Usually, Soonyoung could hear your heartbeat in another room, across a field, or even a few floors below.

But by now, he was too far enraptured in his fever to even notice your close proximity.

Or at least, that’s what you had thought.

Soonyoung had heard you coming. He just didn’t have the motor skills to show that he knew it was you entering his den like he usually would. His voice was gone, and beyond the pain, he could do little but call for you with animalistic whines. His eyes were pressed shut with a throbbing skull overwhelming his thoughts.

Standing at the edge of fate; you considered just how much it pained you to exist like this; unable to help your Mate, your friend, while he suffered great bone-aching amounts of pain.

You had even avoided Minghao and Jeonghan's calls within the sunlit period. Pretending to be occupied as knuckles rasped at your door - only to hear Jeonghan’s sigh and a “We’re worried about you, Y/N. I know you can hear me, just - text one of us, whenever you’re ready. We’ll stop by in the next few days if we don’t hear anything pup. Rest well. Good luck.”

You mostly found yourself staring out into space in the time left alone. Eyes wide and dissociating your vision to outside the large windows of the open living space area, until the sun had begun its descent. Only moving for water and some food, scrolling endlessly on your phone between trips to tend to Soonyoung.

The hours never seemed to end.

With the percussion of your Mate's erratic and unusual heartbeat setting a comforting backdrop of noise, you had considered throughout the day the Alphas’ words and their implications.

In their words, you were a bodyguard for a week. Able to swap out your shift at the castle’s front doors should you ever need to.

You had considered the idea of your life partner not knowing who you were. It had probably happened, and it was probably terrible. But you couldn’t lessen the pull of your gut to follow those fears down a very dark and anxiety-inducing rabbit hole.

And as the sun began to set across the far corner of the horizon, you toyed with the emotions that such anxieties would impose upon your life.

What if he were to get stuck? In his fever? In his rut? Would you be able to live like this?

But despite what your mind told you, the warnings the Alphas had placed upon you; you followed that part of you that strung to him like the fabled red string of fate.

Bound to each other no matter which way you ran.

His body reacted to you. Even now.

“I’m sorry, baby,” You whispered through a sniffle as you entered, moving fluidly to kneel and slide along on his mattress to sit beside him. “I just needed to check on you. To make sure that you’re okay.” You padded your nose before reaching across his back to smooth over the dishevelled duvet on his ribs; alerting him of your presence. “Or, as good as you can be right now…”

Upon sudden touch, Soonyoung stirred slowly.

One eye peered over his puffy cheek until he could see you. His gaze was sharp, and so unfamiliar that it hurt to look at him. Tears welled in your eyes as an offended expression and a low, consistent growl rattled the mattress beneath him.

But you had to fight it. Fight against the voices that told you what you knew to not be true. He wouldn’t hurt you… not even like this.

You just had to prove that to yourself, first. Then you could believe it.

You reached to brush a cold knuckle to the hot skin of his exposed shoulder, testing the water.

He seemed totally unwilling for you to be there.

Teeth bared, body rigid and eyes dry; left open long enough that you could feel the ghost of a sympathetic pain in the back of your own head.

But you pressed on. Gingerly toying with the hair on the nape of his neck before pressing as he usually would love you to do against the pressure points on his scalp that could massage his brain.

The sensation of your nails scraping against his sensitive scalp struck a shiver up his spine. A sense of deja vu for a memory he couldn’t quite find. And his growls edged into something more relieved than before.

“Hi baby, it's just me,” You sniffled, laughing bashfully as his cold expression met your own. “It’s just me.”

He seemed unsure.

You realised how heavily his brain was intensely fogged over; as his brows folded low, eyes sharply focused on far too many things than usually would be comfortable.

Even though the sun was setting, it was still currently light out; making reflections even harsher to his sensitive eyes.

His irises were impossibly pinched. And his usually dark brown eyes were replaced with a striking Scarlet red, coupled with a slightly deepened purple ring around the edge.

What would usually signify your bond gave you a sickly anxiety you struggled to swallow.

“I just wanted to check in on you, was all…”

You averted your eyes, not willing to tempt fate, even if it was to stare at your Mate’s beauty. Direct eye contact could someday cost you your life. Soonyoung had taught you that.

“See if you wanted to clean up a bit… Have a drink, eat some food? Maybe stretch a bit?”

A rattling, coarse growl struck up Soonyoung’s throat.

What he had intended to signify familiarity; became totally misplaced and more threatening than something he would ever direct towards you usually. Enough to make you flinch.

The force of the growl made him hack a dry cough, curling into himself with short wheezing pants. Soonyoung whined loudly in frustration at his own body betraying him.

He just wanted to reach you. But it was so damn hard.

You smoothed over his hair, shushing him until he settled.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re alright. Don’t push yourself.”

He pressed his face into the duvet with an expression that you had only ever seen on an overheated canine. His chest rattled as his anger pressed another shaking growl through his gut.

You smiled with a demure scoff toward yourself. Totally falling for the faux aggression and admitting to yourself the truth of what his brothers had explained to you.

“Yeah, I know Soonie. I’m sorry, love. I know it hurts. That you probably just want to be left alone, to sleep... Probably don’t even know who I am, or why I’m even here. I’m sorry I can’t take your place love… I would if I could, you know.”

You fiddled with your unity ring, as you wiped gently at your cheeks.

“Well, hey. I just - I just needed to be one hundred percent sure… You know, before I considered a life where we become severed for several days at a time, or be cautious around you... That’s quite a big thing, you know. In sickness or in health. I just - just… yeah…”

Something sorrowful washed over you.

And you scrunched your face behind your spare hand with a broken inhale at the sudden rush of sadness.

“I miss you Soon… I miss you so fucking much. Even if it’s only been a day…”

He could feel you tugging at the link.

So sadly that it pushed him to move against his sore limbs.

Soonyoung huffed with a deep, yet hushed growl as his instincts pulled him towards you like the rope around the hull of a downed ship.

His voice was too hoarse to speak, but he was still there, with you. And he would kill himself to show it.

He would haul himself through the hot coals of hell until he was nought but dust and bones to breach that gap between you both. If only you would ask; like you were currently.

You were trying to get him to respond like a kid pulling at the fin of a beached whale.

Sure, there were a million better ways to do it.

You hadn’t even tried to speak to him through the link.

But he didn’t blame you. Not at all.

He could sense your fear. Smell your anxiety and deep sadness settling in the room like a light mist. Taste it like brine on his tongue.

Soonyoung rose on heavy arms; back muscles flexing against deep-set scars in an impressive effort to reach you. Groaning at the sensation of his heavy head being lifted; stars bursting behind his eyes.

Once up, he turned on his hips to drop his head onto your shoulder and body weight onto your back with a deep growl that made you strike a shiver; the sound rumbling across the back of your rib cage and into your jaw.

You were unsure if it was actually your own scent that drew him near, or simply that of a female Wolf, but as his dopey smile spread across his face and a sheepish grin pressed into your skin in your peripheral vision, you felt a little more secure.

And you returned his lopsided smile anxiously.

“You stink, Soonyoung,” You whispered, laughing weakly at his low whine as he shuffled closer. Wiping your nose and your eyes harshly. His heavy body rested on your back, arms wrapping around the soft of your belly to pull you backwards.

He buried his face into the junction of your neck as he held you. Whines impossibly high-pitched and needy.

And he held you tight. Tight enough to make you frown. Lip wobbling and tears spilling down your cheek.

It seemed like… he knew. But you weren’t convinced that he could tell you apart from just anyone that could walk in here.

“Do you even know who I am?” You choked.

Soonyoung whined after some seconds - initially whimpering at the pain he felt leaving you so isolated and vulnerable - but further crying out against that notion ever being a possibility.

You felt his nose prodding at your cheek until you turned to look at him. His eyes met your own, as striking as ever.

You averted your gaze quickly, until he whined in succession, squeezing you with all his might to just look at him, unable to communicate with broken lips formed into a pout and a lost voice.

As you looked back up, your heart skipped a beat.

Soonyoung may be in a deep, deep fever, but he was still yours.

Yours to love. Yours to hold.

With his chin resting on your shoulder, burning red eyes coupling his usually dopey smile, and his arms heavy on your waist, you released the pent-up emotions in your chest. Sobbing into your firmly swiping fist as he held you tightly.

Soonyoung began to hum softly. A random tune to soothe you both. Gravely but deep and rumbled due to his vocal cords in this state. Gentle bass like a purring cat. Swaying you in his arms in a gentle rocking motion.

His hot skin rippled under your fingertips as you brushed over his arm. Self-soothing by reminding yourself he was still there, right there with you.

Soonyoung moved his heavy forearm particularly ungracefully into your own. One palm pressed into your stomach to keep you close; while the other pressed into your palm to open.

Patiently; you allowed him to fumble his hand until he met your ring, twisting it against your knuckle and growling against your cheek with a puff of air and some grunts. It was the best he could do to confirm he truly knew it was you.

And it worked. The action made you smile, tears welling as you leaned your cheek against his hair, face pressed down into your collarbone.

He squeezed you impossibly close. Able to crush you if he so wished; but gentle as ever.

He was practically purring for you.

It was safe here, and you knew it.

Knew it despite what the leaders had advised.

“Thank you, Soonie, I just …” You bit your inner cheek, sighing. “I just had to make sure…”

Soonyoung chuffed quietly as he nuzzled you. Not letting go and consistently growling until your heart rate settled and the tears were mostly gone.

He followed his nose against your skin until he reached the back of your neck, the top of your spine almost being burrowed into as you removed your hands to swipe at the tears on your face.

But you didn’t mind. Even while being set on fire, he just wanted to be near you. To hold you.

Unconsciously his hands searched for your own again, in the dimming light of the sun on his bed sheets.

You pressed your fingers between his, guiding his arms in a cross over your belly until he held you even closer against him on his own accord, sitting with his knees on either side of you.

“You okay, big guy? My big puppy? You seem content enough just to hold me, hmm?"

Soonyoung’s response washed over your scalp like a blanket being pulled over your head. The low consistent hum of almost a purr pressed against the back of your rib cage and vibrated your stomach pleasantly.

"I'm sorry I left you in here all alone - it's what I was told to do. But I knew it was wrong. Should've trusted my gut, hmm?"

He nuzzled against your hairline, following his nose until you shivered with a muted putter of a sigh. That was a ‘yes, I’m great, don't worry, you're here now’ on his behalf.

“It’s almost night time again.” You spoke absently with a wide yawn. Smacking your lips and not even expecting an answer at this point as you were expectedly met with a rumbling growl and consistent PDA to the back of your neck.

“There’s not much point in washing any of your stuff, but… we should definitely get you washed. Hmm, Soonie?”

Soonyoung seemed to answer. But you couldn’t quite make it out. Chuffing against your cheek before relenting his attention and resting his head on your shoulder.

“You really do stink.” You smiled. Side-eyeing your Mate as he huffed with an annoyed expression. Letting yourself giggle as he pouted.

“I’ll even go make you a bubble bath, Soon. I would just appreciate it if you could try and gather some strength to help me get you across the hall if you can. That okay, my big puppy?”

Soonyoung growled deeply before pausing, opening his eyes a mere slit to simply look at you. He was deeply touched, even in this state.

Yes, he nodded.

Yes, I would do anything for you.

Yes, I would go through hell if only you asked it of me.

You wiped the tiger-shaped soapy soft sponge directly behind Soonyoung’s ear; gliding it down his shoulder blade, before coming back to his chin to slide it down his chest.

At first, you had simply ignored the way his groans of discomfort had melted into twitches in response to your lazy, hot touch. The patterns you drew on his body with soft humming and an otherwise empty brain.

You were treating his open-mouthed and airy moans as a symptom of a usual rut like the others advised might happen.

But before long, the continuous slow torture of the soft gliding sponge against Soonyoung’s skin became a test against your will to stay in control of your body and the way it reacted to him.

Soonyoung released a long, loud, rippling growl, before panting softly, head falling to the side away from you. Canines peeking from under his lips and skin hot to the touch. He rolled the muscles in his shoulders and his neck away from you until your mouth watered.

The bastard knew the effect he had on you.

Even kneeling behind his broad shoulders next to the bath, you could see your Mate’s hard-on poking up from the bubbly surface.

By now, it was throbbing just as hard as you imagined it might be after a suddenly induced rut.

But you still couldn’t help but tease.

“Soonyoung!” You gasped with a giggle. You relished his embarrassed whine as you kissed his temple.

“Even with Scarlet giving you the worst fever like ever, you’re insatiable, aren’t you Soonie? Hmm, my needy little puppy?”

Soonyoung whined again, but louder this time. He was so obviously found out and badly affected by your words. He shied away from you; pouting and folding his knee up to cover himself.

You simply giggled, continuing your sponge pattern over his skin.

He was struggling to control himself. And knew you couldn’t be teasing him deliberately… right?

But as your pillowy lips pressed to his drying hair and ear, he was starting to get antsy.

“You can go ahead, you know. I know it hurts. I won’t stop you, baby. Go on. Go ahead. It might even help you relax a little bit.”

Soonyoung moaned softly at your kiss to his temple, easing his knee to the bottom of the tub as his eyes widened into slithers, starting to slowly open.

“Never know - might help you sleep later.”

By now, with the heat of the bath, mixed with your very discreet smell of attraction, his very sudden rush of hormones starting to cloud the room, and your body being so close to him in your burrowing night clothes; Soonyoung was fully panting.

Panting in an effort not to consume you whole, or jump your bones.

Intoxicated by your presence.

With Soonyoungs sweet scent adding to the fog of the bathroom, your poor fan was working overtime to clear it.

But mostly, it was just pushing hot heavy air around and pooling out of the glass bathroom door and into your suite.

You swiped directly behind his ear again, pressing down his neck in a slow but steady pressure until you reached his shoulder blades. Moving forward to press open kisses and a flat tongue to his ear.

Soonyoung moaned long, and low. Eyes pressed shut and head back.

You strayed your sponge down the crease of his abdomen, circling up and around his nipples in a slow drag before pulling back behind his shoulder.

"Go on, baby. Know you need it. Know you want it."

You could tell he wanted it. Almost unable to breathe anything but his libido signals at this point. And other than verbal response; he was fully able to advocate for himself.

Soonyoung’s body shuddered, jaw slack into a moan as you peered over his pecks in curiosity.

He had indeed begun pumping himself beneath the water.

His hand went white from tension as his leg muscle tensed, bucking up out of the soapy surface. Biting painfully at his inner gums to stay quiet. Grunting through nasal exhales, he began panting again with long, ear-aching whines.

But his whines were pained more than anything. Frustrated. Unable to move his aching arms at the pace he would have liked. Battling his stiff joints to scale to direct pleasure.

“Easy baby, you’re going to hurt yourself.” You mumbled against his hair as he turned to lean into you in a daze.

"Let me, Soonyoung."

Making a quick tsk sound, you knocked his hand out of the way. Shuffling further down the side of the tub with loosely rolled up sleeves to move until your chest met his shoulder.

"The shit I do for you…" You grumbled with a hefty amount of amusement. He would give his life up for you if you asked. You just felt the need to tease. "You're lucky I love you, honest to the Gods…"

Truthfully, he looked desperate. Panting with red eyes piercing through you in the fog, begging for a release.

You stuttered for a mere second as Soonyoung’s thick musk hit your nasal cavities; but unbeknownst to you, the Wolf took notice. Nuzzling at the collar of your silk shirt to waft your own scent directly into his brain, growling softly with sharp canines pressing to the thin of your skin. Pressing kitten licks to your collarbone.

A soft growl rattled past his grit teeth as you peeled away his hand. Before he licked his gums and nuzzled your collarbone at the sensation of your soft palms linking together to massage his length in a firm but gentle pressure.

“You big baby.” You laughed gently, the twitching in his legs telling you this wasn’t going to last nearly as long as normal. He whined and huffed, wet hands pulling at the sleeves of your silk shirt until you released a hand for him to manoeuvre.

He threw the given arm behind his head before dropping his nose against your collarbone, grumbling as you pulled your fingers through his already drying short hair. Running your nails over his ears and jaw in long scratches.

You continued to cradle his head against your chest, pulling a few last times before his panting peaked, stomach tensing before groaning loudly into your tacky skin.

Hot strips of white and warm spurting cum slipped across the top of the bath; causing you to stop breathing through your nose and in through your mouth in quick succession.

He usually held a decent load - but that was a lot. Beyond the usual rut amount. AKA, a fuck ton of semen.

And it was a sinful scene that you had naturally begun reacting to. Thighs pressing together and cunt slicked within seconds.

Soonyoung pulled his leg up to roll closer to you. Burying his face into you with a heavy groan.

“Feeling any better?” You whispered through a shaky laugh, dousing your hand with nearby soap before flicking it in the water.

Your Mate nodded weakly, shuffling to sit up and press his lips to your own. You held his strong muscles up in the right direction as he keened for you.

The kiss started out gentle.

It did, truly.

But before long he had your cunt pulsating around the air in the way he wantingly sucked at your lip as he pulled away. His wet hand reached up to secure your neck in place with one solid, wide, strong palm. His thumb pressed up against your jaw. Spit drooling between your chins.

And as his tongue swiped up against your palette, completely overpowering you in the sloppy kiss; you knew you were fucked.

Moaning into the broken kiss before pulling back, almost stumbling back on your ass to quickly move away from him.

Gasping breaths and shaking your head with a choked sound of a shock to try and clear your brain.

But it was far too late to try and hide what your body had begun to beg for.

Or rather - there was no point in stopping what had already started to spin into motion.

Within moments, he was rock hard again.

Tongue pressed to the side of his mouth, sharp eyes staring into your own and softly growling.

You scoffed. “Seriously?! That was meant to relax you, not get you - or I guess, both of us - in the mood to fuck, Soonyoung! Seriously!! You should be in bed!!!"

You were met with another moody growl, sighing as you rolled up your newly wet sleeves.

“Come on, up, out. I’ll have to help you shower. And we’re doing it cold. Near ice cold, so you can try warming up in bed while you sleep again. Cock soft, head empty this time, please. Come on, help me, please. Get up.”

Soonyoungs upper left corner of his lip curled into a non-threatening and no-noise snarl as you gripped under his nearest armpit, using your strength to heave him up until he could take over. His feet squeaked against the porcelain bath before soapy liquid hit the floor and he managed to haul himself out.

You almost helped him with your eyes shut, just trying your absolute hardest to ignore him. His overwhelming, choking and dizzying scent. His unusually sharp gaze. His hot skin you were just aching to melt against.

As you reached past him to get a towel, Soonyoung scoffed to himself.

You were far too obvious. Having danced around him like a scene a mime would put on to make a Werewolf laugh, this entire time.

You used those clothes to burrow in. So they had a smell to them you would never be able to get rid of. Similar to your duvet, or mattress. Or his underwear. Or the slick stains on your thighs. The pre-cum on his shorts.

It was just something innate. Primal.

They gave your untouchable Wolf senses an anchor to ground you; only challenged by the pack's Alpha in a usual family dynamic or your Mate. Both of which combined happened to be staring you down like a four-course meal as you paused for air.

The scent of your wet cunt against your nesting clothes struck some primal part in him.

Something that urged him to soothe you.

To Claim you.

To fuck you so deep and fill you so full with his cum and his scent, that you would want nothing else in the world but to fall asleep in his arms.

Not have to rely on your own scent or your own items of clothing to feel safe again.

And more importantly; to paint you so full with so much cum that his scent would stick to you for weeks.

The thought - and the current visuals - made his gums and his cock throb with a carnal fervour.

He hadn’t seen those clothes in such a long time. You had never worn them outside of your room, as that was… kind of the point of the whole arrangement. Your private comfort area stayed isolated from everyone, oftentimes even Soonyoung. So in essence it acted like a den. Somewhere to go when the world demanded too much of you; as it usually does an Omega. Especially a female one.

And you really, in honesty, rarely ever needed time away from your Mate.

But he supposed it comforted you as you had camped out and waited for him in the lounge until late evening.

He had been checking for you too, in his moments of peace. Knew the effort you were making to worry for him. He thought it only kind to return the favour, as your body was cluing him in to-do.

The Alpha in him very rarely ruled the scene. Found no want nor need to impose himself upon you.

But in your nesting clothes. Weathered with such fatigue. Still, the smell of fear and sadness clinging to your skin. Caring for him so well, as he should do for you.

It was time.

��Soonyoung -” You huffed, sighing as he moved like you were afraid he was going about to do.

His sharper-than-usual nails dug into your hips as he spun you to face the mirror. Hot breath hitting your cheek as he nuzzled behind your ear, boner pressing against your ass as you huffed in a faux-irritated way. He lay his tongue flat against your pulse, dragging up into your hairline then back again.

“You’re getting water all over the floor -” You groaned with closed eyes and grit teeth. Stubborn with resistance to his laments at your skin. Even you were able to pick up on your own arousal in the air now.

The two of you were going to scent this entire floor if you weren’t careful.

Somewhat haphazardly, his palms pressed into yours on the sides of the sink. His hips fell like a heavy weight as he pinned you against the marble. Between his teeth was your Mating Mark, a sharp tooth making you twitch as he chuckled in a low baritone growl. You whined without noise, lips parted with a gasp.

“I can smell you too, flower. Don’t ever forget that.” He spoke in a raspy voice against your cheek, voice hoarse and skin on fire against you in the bathroom fog. His broken lips dragged a new texture across your hot skin. “Thanks for the help. Now please, let me return the favour.”

You choked a moan at the sudden open kiss at your collarbone. One hand moved to grasp at your breast over the top with wet soapy hands. The other keeping your hand pinned.

You keened over, choking again at how suddenly tender the area was.

“Soonyoung, please hear me out - I don’t think this is a good idea! You’re not even meant to be out of bed yet -”

“Look up, pup. Look at me.”

Your tongue grew heavy in your mouth. Lips pliant and eyes dragging up as an instant haze tugged over your brain.

He was commanding your body, and it made you shake with desire.

But you wouldn’t give up that easily.

“Soonyoung -”

You moaned airily before gritting your teeth in defiance. His hands pinched your nipples between his sliding fingers, rolling over your shirt with a chuckle. “- you’re going to get me into so much trouble, you horny little shit -”

He smiled with a pointed-canine grin against your neck. A hoarse laugh pulled a loud bouncing growl forward until it racked your brain.

"I don't give a fuck, precious. I'm the only person you ever need to answer to. Or to seek comfort from. Not any other dogs. And certainly not my brothers."

Soonyoung moved his hand to pinch your chin and tilt backwards to look at him. Lip curled in a gentle peel of a snarl.

“Look at me, flower. Or I'll eat you alive.”

Before licking directly into your ear and grinding up against your core. Your leg jolted with another choked moan.

But you closed your eyes firmly, shaking your head.

By now; you were soaking wet. Both from him physically and… from him physically

Actually, in every sense.

And you surprisingly had very little want to fight it.

The past day had made you feel so bitterly alone. Lost, and afraid in his world.

You just wanted some guidance again. To be held. And he was more than happy to provide. He just had to convince you the jump was worth the fall.

Soonyoung hummed.

“You’ve shown me so much love this past day or so, my beautiful Mate."

His growl vibrated into his hum, hips gliding back and up again until you couldn’t help but take over.

"You’ve done so well for me. Been so good to my family intruding all over your home and in your den."

His wet cock pressed perfectly into the curve of your body, ass and cunt, as he thrust up against your clothes.

"Listened for me even when you felt so alone.”

You mewled pathetically; cunt so suddenly ready to be stuffed full that it sent you for a spin.

You stilled abruptly in your movements only once Soonyoung had chuckled into your hair, finally having caught you.

His hips had stopped moving long ago.

“Look. At. Me. My pretty Omega.”

Soonyoung’s words made your entire body shake.

And you hadn’t whined this needily in a long, long time. Maybe ever.

Your lip started to wobble until you finally allowed yourself to succumb to him.

Eyes blinking open and meeting him in the mirror.

Soonyoung hummed a beautiful and pleased vocation from the back of his bass vocal cords, lips pressed to a kiss on top of your skin.

Your pearl pink silk nightwear was covered in his wet soapy handprints as your breasts lay perk and your hair became dishevelled in his musings. Stuck to your tacky bodies.

Your knees had begun to tremble as he bit higher up on your neck in faux threat; moving to press sharp points into your flesh and wet the skin; only to retract and move them further and deeper once again.

“I would love to cover you in my scent, you know, pup. If you would let me.”

You choked a sob as his fingers pressed into the sides of your throat. You gripped at his forearms; not holding him to you but not entirely pulling the pressure away.

"I want to leave so many Claim marks on you that another Wolf wouldn’t even think about looking in your direction without my permission.”

Soonyoung gently thrust his hips upwards, pushing the edge of the sink further into your bone as he moved to the other side of your neck. Growling at his own words and working himself up in the process, eyes slit thin in the foggy reflection.

"I want nothing more than to fuck you so completely full until your brain starts fucking melting, sweetheart. How does that sound, hmm?"

He held you until you fell apart in his arms like you had always wanted him to do. He pressed the length of his cock up and against your core again. Making you sob out a moan.

“I could fuck you into the type of submission and bond; the likes of which you've never felt before, my love. A connection that most other Wolves spend centuries trying to reach. Remember we spoke about that, before? Remember how much you begged to be bonded, out on our stupid little fucking business trip? Remember how much you had keened for it before I said we should stop?"

He was talking about… a specific time.

A specific time and place where he had blown your back, soul and brains out then told you via pillow talk about the inner workings of higher mating and what it took to get there.

You nodded eagerly. "Yes," You moaned breathily, "Yes, God yes I remember -" You sobbed as you began to get dizzy, core soaking the fabric pressed up against your lips and thighs; soiling the expensive silk clothes in your scent. " - we were so close but you pulled away too soon…"

“Good. I'm talking about that connection, pup. It wasn't the right time, back then… We weren’t ready yet, love." Soonyoung hummed gently in fond memory of the night. “I think it's time. You're ready. I'd be honoured, if you'll let me guide you…”

He growled lovingly, pushing forward.

“What do you think then, pup? Would you like that? To have my cum spread all over your belly? Stuffed up so full inside your cunt you'll be leaking for hours? You just need to say the words, gorgeous, and I'd do anything for you, angel… anything you ask for. Anything at all."

The rasp in his voice struck deep in your essence, and despite yourself, a long, deep whimper escaped your lips. Struggling to battle his aura as your thighs pressed together. Head full of nothing but the thought of his canines catching on your scar.

“But - Soonyoung - you’re still weak - ahhh-” A moan interrupted your arguments as he sucked in an unfamiliar place behind your ear, making your body tremble.

He seemed to be searching for something. His smile told you that he had found it.

“You need to rest -”

He didn’t seem to be listening. Growling deeply as he caught the skin between his sucking lips, lazily placing a bruise into your skin.

“Would you like that pup? For me to Mark you again? I can smell it on you, you know. You want to give in, but it's unfamiliar. An Alpha’s powers. You're nervous.”

His confession shocked you for a moment. Squeezing up under your jaw until your cunt clenched and you saw stars.

"I could take over? Make the decisions you're too afraid to make. Cut the shit you don't have the energy to refuse. It's what we were made to do, Y/N. The power bred into me. I just need to hear you say the words, my love. Then I’m all yours."

He released the pressure on your throat to gasp breaths and hold his strong forearm, in a complete and utter rush to lock eyes with him behind you -

Ah.

You were an idiot.

Not only was he not going to hurt you, but he had also spoken before many times about how he tried his best not to exert his powers onto your conscience.

He knew the control he could exert over you.

Knew the risks involved.

Fantasised about them greatly.

You whined in a desperate panic before chuffing needily at the gentle hushing and peppered kisses on your cheek.

He kissed you sloppily at this angle, but you didn't care.

Just so obviously desperate and hungry for his reassurance in this state.

His body was hot. So hot against your exposed neck, thighs, back, arms and even against your pyjamas.

And you were unable to form a single thought until he licked the shell of your ear, edging you towards the point of no return. Coaxing you there as he pressed your palm firmly into the sink. Cheek against yours.

He nuzzled you before relenting his kisses to watch you in the mirror, awaiting your response. Skin to skin once more. His growl rippled over your back, fuzzing over your brain.

'Answer me, angel.' Your evolving and sifting yellow eyes met his bright red ones. His tone became instantly a thousand times softer than mere moments ago, as soon as he saw you."Do you want it, or not?"

Almost immediately, your head began to spin. You were starting to feel the sudden guttural pull of your Mate looking at you with pure want.

Your Alpha was seeing you for all that you were, all that you would ever be. And beyond anything, he was finally forcing his power upon you. He had a question and intended to receive an answer. It was a foreign feeling, but one that sparked a fire in your gut that made you moan wantonly.

You became lost in his eyes until your head became entirely blank and foggy and slow like traipsing through the mud.

The Wolf in you pushed you to nod with a high nasal pitch of a plea, head rolling back to meet your cheeks together in submission.

'Easy, pretty girl. I've got you.'

He shushed you, growling feebly in response to your eyes meeting him with a deep belly whine in the mirror; struggling to give in.

'Lean into me, pup, if you need grounding. I'm here, and I’ve got you. Lean in.'

His irises relaxed only once yours had expanded, starting to shift into the still unfamiliar colour of honey yellow that met his softened gaze.

'Soonyoung, it hurts my head!' You whimpered loudly. Soonyoung growled softly through open lips, peppering slowly over your exposed skin.

"Breathe, angel. Let me lead. I've got you."

It had been a while since you had submitted to him fully.

But God did it feel good.

An instant tension set into your skull; in your jaw and in your brain. Fuzzing up the hairs on the back of your neck and over your scalp until you shivered, eyes flashing stars as they moved and evolved.

“Good job. You’re so good for me baby.”

It wasn’t that the trust wasn’t there, but your meeting had been one of sudden fate. Your love was a growing one, that you expanded upon daily. And he never saw a need to exert his power onto you unless you benefited from it, or asked.

Your jaw opened and shut in an effort to speak but right now you couldn't muster the words; pleading with your body while being gently pushed along by his guidance.

A burst of gold sprang into one of your eyes, a bright daisy mixing with deep wood before disappearing.

New signs were appearing.

Something was bubbling in your wolf blood.

It made your connection twang enough for Soonyoung to nuzzle your shoulder.

'That's it. Lean into it. You’ve got it beautiful. Can you feel it? It's stronger than ever this time.'

Your legs trembled as he licked and bit at the skin on your hairline, whining as your pulse beat against his lips.

“Answer when you’re ready - lean into the pull, my brave Mate…”

It was your turn to pant, your stomach twisting as you gushed with sudden arousal, skin hot to the touch.

"Do you want this? To become Claimed completely?"

Your bones began to shake as your eyes and head struck a tension headache, mind swimming in his demand until finally - you answered.

“Soonyoung - please -” You cried out, pressing back against him anxiously.

Soonyoung immediately rippled a protective growl. Confirming he was there non-verbally. Pressing his hot torso against your back and your cheek against his. Eyes soft and watching you carefully in the mirror.

"You're okay, sweet dove, I've got you. You're okay…"

He whispered affirmations into your ear space so they echoed in your brain. Ready to cut the pull and save you from the crash if you gave the signal to stop.

But your next cries confirmed what he knew to be true.

"Please, yes I want that - want you to make me come so so bad, I just - just make it stop Soonie, I want you so bad it aches, my head, it - feels like you're pulling me apart - I want it, please -”

“Easy pup." Soonyoung rattled against your temple, voice softer than before. Pressing a soft kiss on your cheek. "I’ll ease it - just don’t fight the pull. You'll only end up hurting yourself more if you do."

He moved to look behind you for a moment; pulling the waistband of your trousers until they caught at your knees.

With steady movements, he aligned himself with you. Knowing your body and anticipating the acceptance even before any prep.

Such was the influence of the Scarlet; forcing the two of you into a temporary Heat, pulling the energy of the upcoming one backwards so you would be allowed a much longer break. But God it was so much stronger than your usual symptoms.

“Can you feel just how deep it hits, Y/N?” A deep raspy growl spoke directly into your brain, making you whimper. Body heat back against your skin in an instant.

With heavy eyelids you inhaled sharply, nodding as your irises expanded. You were melting like old and slightly clunky kinetic sand towards his pull, panting deeply as your thighs shook against him.

Trying to lean into it, but struggling greatly.

Something was pulling your soul towards him like a hunger you had never experienced.

“The Scarlet is pulling your Heat forward, pup. My body is… our souls are matching each other. Wherever my cycle is… you’re meeting me halfway."

Soonyoung kissed your shoulder delicately.

"Wanna fuck you till you can’t move baby. I know you were awake all day and night, hmm? Watching out for me. Poor pup, all alone. Scared of being left alone in the world.”

He nuzzled you, eyes bearing through your mind in the foggy reflection.

“I could hear those thoughts, you know. So loud and frightened. Pretty flower, I would never let that happen to you. You have me for eternity.”

In your overwhelmed state, you couldn’t help but immediately wash over with emotions.

And Soonyoung moved his free hand to wipe the stray tear from your cheek.

“I would never let that happen to you, Y/N. I would never leave you so suddenly. I knew the Scarlet was coming. I just needed to see it out. To see how we would work. Thank you, for your love. For everything.”

He whispered. Just for you. Wrapping his arms around you to hold you tight. And he held you there until you eased. Intertwining his hands over yours as they met the sink again.

“Do you want this, Y/N? To be paired, again? To be Claimed entirely? Marked by me so that you never feel alone?"

At your pitiful whimpers, Soonyoung pressed his cheek against yours, growling affectionately. He could feel your pent-up energy ready to burst.

"You'll never need to feel that isolated again, angel. But you’ll also never be apart from me. You know the risks. We’ve been through it before. So - do you want it, Omega? Want to become a part of each other so that we never have to be apart again?"

Softer this time, he closed his eyes.

"I'd give you my everything, love. Even my life, if you asked for it. I'm yours after this, as much as you become mine. This is your last chance to pull away. The last time I'll ask…"

Without even a few seconds of a pause, you nodded hard, fast, and multiple times, releasing pitiful moans as your head flopped back against his shoulders, pleading against his lips in hushed unintelligible whispers.

After a gentlemanly kiss and some shushing, Soonyoung moved to nuzzle again at the base of your spine, resting against yours as he took a deep inhaling breath.

“I love you, my precious Omega. Breathe for me, baby. The stretch might hurt a bit.”

Upon his instruction, you met his inhale, attempting to follow his exhale before letting out a cry and crumbling into his hold against him. Moaning loudly, shaking even more so.

You were immediately overcome by the stretch of him entering you; along with something unintelligible sparking under your spine and up into your scalp until you folded with a slack jaw and loose numb lips.

Upon entering you, Soonyoung sunk his teeth into your soft, tacky and salty skin.

Right up and in; against the spot behind your ear that had made you tremble; until his gums were pillowed; biting down hard enough into your neck that your muscle tensed to curl up into his hold and press his nose into your hair.

A wicked embrace. Full of pain and desire.

Your pulse thrummed against his tongue enough for him to moan loudly.

And his cock throbbed heathenly at the way you melded into his arms with such brainless gasps and cut-short gulps of breath and mouthed words to explain how the poison struck a match of buzzing meadows across your skin on the downward plunge of your lungs first being set alight like a burning forest fire, then gasping for clean, crisp air.

But he didn’t need your words.

And as if a second Claim Mark wasn’t enough, the head of his cock pushing past your entrance and spreading your walls even further than usual, matched with the fog of hormones and the sudden wave of Heat striking up inside of you, made you orgasm instantly.

Your back had arched in a sharp backward curve into his chest; gripping at the hand spread flat and wide over your throat; cunt pulsating as stars passed behind your eyes in this sledgehammer of a sudden incline and breach of ecstasy burning the muscles in your thighs until they gave way.

Soonyoung released the power in his jaw as your body liquefied into his hands. The removal of his canines in your pressure points released your neck and shoulder muscles; gravity pulled your head and chest to fold forward.

His forearm levered under your chest; and controlled your body weight to stay hovering just above the solid counter sink with care.

He held you as you shook and airily moaned. Your cunt pulsating around his cock in a vice-like pulsation that had your body hot and ready for more.

Soonyoung released your weight only when you dragged your burning elbows into yourself and pressed down against the counter to heave your torso back up; headspace elsewhere as he peered over you.

From the edge of your hairline, a long strip of blood smoothed down the expanse of your back.

It folded into your spine and descended fast enough for Soonyoung to quickly grab a towel - the one you had discarded on the side of the sink after his move to pin you - to stop the flow from meeting your conjoined bodies.

He used the towel to press at the wound after wiping the trail clean up your spine in one solid motion; causing you to shiver as he held you up via pinned hips.

All as he sat snug to the hilt inside of you.

The sight of blood had bewitched him, if even for a second.

Mouth dry and breath caught in fascination.

Your heart leapt in your chest at the scene before you and the sudden asphyxiating vulnerability you had begun to process once up and looking back at him.

Washing with bashfulness; you scrunched your shoulder up and against your cheek. Moaning in embarrassment at the buzzing tingles of ecstasy sparking up your neck and into your cheek muscles.

His fingers pressed into your warm skin over the towel; while the unfamiliar pout and coyness caused Soonyoung to laugh at you benevolently.

He released the hand holding your chest to shake his head playfully. Resting against the counter to smile down at you. Peppering the opposite shoulder with kisses. Brushing his thumb up and down against the back of your neck where it was trapped; just to feel you shiver and whine.

“What’s wrong, angel?” Soonyoung’s smile pressed into the skin on your shoulder as he pushed a mocking tone. “Does something hurt?”

“Nghh - Soon -” You moaned shyly as he pressed down forcefully at the wound. You couldn’t help but grind down on him at the spark that struck through you - the fucker did that on purpose - before moaning quietly.

The fucker was deliberately teasing you, but you had no will to bite back like usual. And that only made his eyes crease further in amusement.

“Yeah - yeah it - it does - hurting - ngh -”

But you both knew it didn’t really hurt. It was pleasantly numb despite the pinch and you were just bashful in the spotlight of sudden vulnerability, more than anything else.

'Need you - it hurts - please, Soonyoung.'

You whined suddenly, loud and needily in the echoing link.

You were satiated only by his cheek meeting your own, and being held against his chest in a solid purr of an embrace. He pressed his lips all over your free ear, pacifying you.

“Show me, angel.” Soonyoung soothed you, kissing at your ear and grumbling against your cheek dotingly. “I need to see it, to close it, love.”

You moaned at the tingling spreading into your scalp; the shifting of his hips pushing your blood at a faster beat in your chest and out of the wound every time his cock throbbed inside of you.

“Can you show me, please, beautiful? Need to see ~”

With a muted whine and a nod, you released your shoulder very slowly. You prevented the new blood flow from being pushed out every other second by your anxiously beating heart via your palm atop Soonyoung’s hand pressing down tighter and tighter over the towel on your skin.

He grumbled at the contact; gently twitching his knuckles under your fingers.

You pulled your eyes away with a swimming mind to ease the pressure pulling in opposite directions over your head.

“Thank you, gorgeous.” He purred through open lips, pressing a chaste, open kiss to the shoulder behind the towel, before guiding your dizzy head up and away by a pinched chin as he peeled away the fabric.

You whimpered feebly, palms pressing down into the counter to ease your nerves.

It was unusually tender. Somewhat awkwardly angled. But it had hit the mark. And it was a clean bite, too.

He hummed softly at the sight once the towel was removed.

“I see…” Soonyoung mumbled absently. “Relax baby, I’ve got it.”

He moved past you to turn on the tap and dampen the edge of the towel; switching between dabbing at your skin and rinsing the cloth with warm water until he could lick and suck at the skin with the iron taste removed as much as possible.

He didn't mind blood in his line of work. He often came home stinking of it.

He also didn't mind it to protect you; in fact, it was a byproduct that inflated his ego.

But any blood coming from your body made his knees weak, in a rush to protect you.

There was no need for soap or disinfectant as his mouth provided all the goods; meaning he could close an open wound immediately if he wanted.

But Soonyoung held a particular distaste for any spec of your blood on his tongue - for the above reasons - and tried his absolute doggy darn best to avoid it.

“You’re all worked up - that’s why it’s bleeding so quick and heavy - my pretty dove."

The new pet name rolled from his throat with a vibration that made you moan.

"All that adrenaline - it's gone and mixed with the poison in your veins. That’s why it’s best not to fight it… Don’t want you getting hurt, or panicked… Easy, let me…”

Soonyoung’s voice trailed off as he cleaned the mark, moving to concentrate on clotting the wound with his saliva.

His tongue spread flat and wide up behind your ear. Completely consuming you in affection. Licking and sucking at your ears as he went, growling against your efforts to gain some sort of friction on his heavy cock.

You whined softly, closing your eyes to the overwhelming buzzing atop your shoulder. What had started on the surface, ebbed into a lack of sensation across your one bicep and shoulder blade; even aching up into your jaw. His saliva mixed with the poison and acted as a natural numbing cream and it was starting to make you feel equally unbelievably horny and anxious.

The feeling of relinquishing control and being unable to move in his protective grip made your lip wobble in a voiceless battle.

A hugely unfamiliar grumble of a growl struck up Soonyoung’s chest as he chose not to let you go, holding you to him in an unusually possessive way once the bite was sealed.

Your heartbeat spiked, the Wolf in you fighting your human aspect, and Soonyoung pulled out and away immediately, releasing you.

“Easy, easy pup, you can let go. Go on, go out, you're free to go -”

He anticipated it before it even hit you.

Struggling slightly on strong arms: he reached to pull the door open.

"Easy Y/N, you're okay."

Allowing the fog to release and you stumble out desperately, silk pants bundling your knees until you fell against the soft carpet of the entry hall. Panting heavily with shaking legs and unmatched eyes as you spun to peer up at your Mate at the door, his eyes a beacon amongst the blurred view.

“Soonyoung -” Your face read as a pure shock. Voice practically a moan, confusion evident as your mind caught up with your fight or flight response that threw you out of the room and onto the floor.

Before you could fumble an apology, he understood.

"Shh, it’s okay my pretty Omega. Take a breath. You're safe."

Your pulse was pounding and the sudden feelings caused you to go into overdrive. He purred at the desperation in your voice.

“Are you okay?” He huffed in deep worry. Deep, hoarse. His Wolf was clearly fighting to move, but he was still in control.

“I’m -” You thought for a moment, before gathering yourself. Nodding. “Yes. Just - I - that was a lot… I’m sorry, I was fighting it Soonyoung, I-I wasn't ready, I -”

“Would you like to try that again, after you’ve calmed down some more, pretty dove?” He stopped your rambling again, in an unusually calm voice. "We moved too fast - it spooked you too much, is all."

You paused momentarily. “The - I - but you’ve already Marked me once Soonyoung, are you not tired? Do you not get any kind of rebound from moving so fast?” Even in the fog, you could see his eyes pinch.

“No.” He answered simply. “Just a hunger to Mark every inch of you until there’s no clean skin left.” His voice was low, coarse and drawn out.

Soonyoung was clearly holding back, but it was making your heart patter with even more anticipation. You pulled your knees to your chest in a loose attempt to cover your modesty. But the scene was tinged with the smell of sex and the sound of your anxiously bated breath, so there was little point in hiding yourself.

“The chemicals in my body are endless. They only ease after the urge is satiated. And you know how that goes.”

Despite the tone, you cracked a smile at his cheek pulling up. A canine snug over his lip in a smile. “Yeah, I do.” You whispered, shying from his gaze. “It never ends.”

Soonyoung had matured a huge amount since you had first cornered him to finally claim you, to tie you onto his life bond with pure instinct and little brain involved. The decision was final, fated. And you could never see a life without him in it, even on your worst days.

The strengthening of the bond would mean giving up your whole self. After so many years of isolation as a human female in a world of very real threats, you knew the decision should be a weighted and worrying one. But the prospect only brought you a sense of peace.

“Would you like to try that again Y/N? In a short while, after you've got your breath back?”

Looking at the large windows in your lounge, you took a minute and thought about it again. A little longer this time. Considering him with an innocent and somewhat blank face - the face of someone who totally wasn’t considering the implications of giving up their total anonymity to their partner.

“We can wait. It’s a big decision.”

Before something struck in your gut.

Soonyoung was gently pushing you for an answer.

He could hear your anxious thoughts like distant ghostly whispers. Inaudible, but inescapable.

Telling him to pull you towards him like the singing of angels in the absolute knowledge of God’s choir; a responsibility that weighed heavy on his soft and dog-eared heart that beat empathetically for only you.

“No, no, it’s okay… I know my answer. Yes, I would. I want it. I would want you to - do, whatever it was you needed to do, in order for us to be matched up for good.” Your cheeks heated up after that last one. “It’s been on my mind since you taught me about it.”

Underneath his shadow at the foot of the door, your thighs rubbed unconsciously together. The new indents on your neck were framed by your hair, and highlighted by the dim yellow eyes that looked up at him for reassurance.

Soonyoung smiled softly, nodding with a loving haze pulled over his features. Resting his head and body weight against the door as he smiled down at you.

You were ready, but your nerves were tangible. The scent lay sour on his tongue.

“Go to your den, my brave little Turned-Lupine. You're still far too highly strung to think clearly. Even if it doesn’t feel like it. Wait for me there. Then, if you change your mind, we can stop. Or we can carry on. Whatever you want, I'll follow. It’s your decision in the end, Y/N. I promise.”

Soonyoung’s instructions were soft in delivery but final. And the use of such an official legal title made you shy.

You nodded, curling in on yourself before he eased you with a smile, "Go on, pup. Go calm down. I’ll be with you in a minute. I’m sorry for pushing it - the link. We’ll go a little slower next time."

He waited for your timid nod of confirmation before pulling the bathroom door closed and moving fluidly into the space behind the darkly tinted glass door.

“Wait, Soonyoung -” You called out softly, tenor weak as you felt him move away.

It was still all too much… But you didn't want to be left all alone again.

He re-opened the door enough to see his upper body. Smile soft, eyes small against his cheeks.

“What is it, love?”

You - you weren’t sure.

You just knew you didn’t want to let him go.

"I don't - just - don't go…"

Soonyoung’s expression softened greatly.

You were tugging at the bond again, very very desperately. So lost in the changing of tides. So desperately afraid to ask for guidance.

“Go on, Y/N. I’ll be with you shortly. I’ll be there. I promise. I won’t be going anywhere else but with you, in that den, once I'm done here. Okay?”

Soonyoung watched as you battled with yourself greatly. Fiddling with the ankle hem of your trousers and worrying your lips. Your brows creased and your eyes were drawn to the floor.

But he was patient. Eventually, you nodded with a pout. Soonyoung mirrored you; nodding back gently.

“Alright. I’ll be going now. See you soon love ~"

You smiled with a returning wave as he closed the door. No doubt returning to the scene of original sin to let off some more ‘steam’ to control himself better.

You didn’t blame him. In fact, you were starting to feel the same way. Maybe even somewhat jealous.

On the floor, with the morning light hitting the windows, you quickly scrambled to gather your thoughts.

They rushed into your brain, harsh enough to grant a small ache behind your eye.

The truth was; you were a grown woman. An Alpha’s Mate. You trusted him with your life. And yet you felt silly at the virtually butterfly-inducing anxiety imagery of him coming into your safe space after what had just happened.

And the lies lay multiple. Thin and sparse and barely backed up by anything you had seen. He wasn’t about to hurt you. The guy loves you, you reasoned internally.

With a putter of a puff-cheeked sigh, you hauled up on heavy arms to tug the trousers back up around your ankles, to your thigh, to your waist.

It was a little silly; given there were wet handprints layered over every high point of your ass. But it was enough to get you going; shuffling towards your room.

Soonyoung’s grunts and quieted moans made you warm from head to toe.

“Den - right - got it!” You whispered to yourself.

A small yelp escaped you as you got up way too fast; stumbling towards your room to get just past Soonyoung’s heavy groaning breathing made you even more insane than before the whole thing had started.

You approached the door of your den; and ran into it. Collapsing onto the bed with a quick yell into the cushions before composing yourself.

"This is gonna be one hell of a night, me. Get it together girl. You got this."

“Y/N. Can I come in?”

What a silly question. It was his home. But as he waited patiently for an answer, you hummed a noise of approval, picking at the button on your duvet.

Soonyoung opened the door before closing it behind him softly.

It had been a long time since he had been in here. Your place of rest. Your sanctity. Your burrow. You slept together often - but it was important you had somewhere to go when you needed to be alone. And he never tried to enter this space, should it be tinted by him. Today was different.

“Wow - It’s pretty in here, pup!”

Soonyoung noted how much you had cosied up the place. Mesh curtains aligned the walls. The window was blocked completely. Instead, the light came from fairy lights scattered randomly across the room. Soft music came from a nightlight speaker hidden behind some pillows, muffling any harsh sounds. The blue water light flowed across the ceiling, calming and serene.

You shuffled, releasing your grip on your knees as he waited for you to acclimate to his pressing aura inside of your gentle-edged bubble.

“Thank you.” You mumbled finally, releasing your pent-inhale and watching the patterns with him for a moment.

After a while, your hand reached out. Linking your fingers into his. Pulling your Mates attention towards you on the mattress.

He followed his eyes, up your arms towards your face with a hum. Until he stood above you, red eyes bearing into your own.

“You look better already…" You mumbled.

A small smile came from Soonyoung.

You loved it when he smiled. His round cheeks brightened up any rainy day.

"Do you feel any better, Soon?"

“Thank you, sweetheart. The fever may come back, after the rut.” He whispered back bluntly, hand straying to thumb at your cheeks. “But the more you’re near me, the better, me thinks.”

“Oh…” You mumbled bashfully. “Then, Soonyoung?”

Soonyoung’s irises pinched as he inhaled deeply, nodding at you to go ahead and ask your question. At this level, your nose picked up the sweet smell of his rut before he had even made it to the bed.

Right now, your mouth was watering. And when you looked back up, he was met with yellow eyes and the most submissive expression he had ever seen from you in the years you had known each other.

“I - I do want you to fuck me, Soonyoung. As my life partner. As an Alpha - my Alpha…"

Those words were foreign and weighted in your usually independent mouth. But they were genuine.

"You've been so patient with me. Please, Mark me. I’m ready. I - I need you, Soonyoung. Really, really, really, really badly.”

And so at the break in your weak pleading voice, Soonyoung’s stomach erupted into a growl you could feel spike the hair on the back of your neck. You took a deep breath before the match struck, and you were both pulled to each other.

You’re not sure if you met Soonyoung’s mouth halfway or if he totally overpowered you as he clashed your gums with his, but in a flash, you were laying flat on your back with his body weight hot and pressed against you, throbbing hard cock pressed into your thigh and hip and abs pressuring your nipples even through your shirt.

Upon impact, he ate up your whines, rib cage vibrating against his. He weighed you into the bed; like a large weighted blanket of pure love placating your thirst and hunger and lust; all in the safety of your private room.

Your den was going to be left with the scent of him, and the thought made you drool.

The kiss was nothing but pure sin.

Hot and heavy lust that sucked your tongue between his teeth, leaving you breathless and gyrating under the weight of his abdomen for any friction whatsoever. Your thighs wriggled free under his legs until they hit the floor alongside his own, Soonyoung kneeling on the bed.

A long line of saliva dropped between your lips and into your open mouth as he pulled away, face hovering over yours. Soonyoung gripped your cheeks; curling his lip to snarl directly down upon you, commanding a direct “Open up”.

With an entirely submissive moan, you opened your lips, tongue welcoming the spit of your mixed saliva into the back of your throat with a gulp against your palette. You choked lightly before swallowing, moaning and performing intensely for the red eyes watching you with possession before Soonyoung moved you both in a jolt.

Soonyoung used his grip on your face and an arm under your ribs to tug your entire body onto the bed, following immediately after.

His sharp teeth met the flesh of your left breast as he pressed his thighs onto your legs, pushing your breast up and out of your silk shirt with almost closed eyes.

He was acting and moving on pure instinct.

Licking and nipping messily at your nipples until you gained the will to move, your own sharper nails grabbing at his scalp.

Soonyoung stiffened. Coming to a sudden, complete stop. It was momentary, but it felt like hours with the way you strained to look down at him. He had a scowl on his face and it made your legs shake in anticipation.

But it was a test.

You should be laying down. Trusting him to move for the both of you. This could take some time, he realised as you pressed up on your elbows to prompt him.

He considered you as your heart beat frantically against his lips. Not yet eased.

Still trying to put up a fight with your new body. Battling the poison in your blood and yet desperate to fulfil your desires.

One could not complete without the other subsiding. You needed to pick a path or be encouraged. The poison would dissipate after eventually being fought for a long period; or consume your biology entirely if you just let it.

He would guide you to the edge. But then it was up to you to choose if you truly wanted to fall.

And as your heart pumped your blood even faster into your body in an attempt to rise, to challenge him and speak - Soonyoung had sunk his sharp and long canines into the thin skin between your breast and your heart, moaning in a deep baritone hum at your cries.

That close to your heart, the poison in his gums made you writhe underneath him.

The familiar pain melted into that slow and consistent thrumming full-body pleasure.

He held your wrists firmly against the duvet, unable to control your legs kicking up the sheets beside his hips and thrashing your head while your heart pumped the poison into your limbs.

“It hurts so - fuck - so good Soonyoung, please, please, I need a release, please, please please please, fuck!”

The poison set your veins on fire. Sparkles and cracks hitting along each inch of your body as you cried out, moaning and whimpering, writhing for something, anything to get you off.

As soon as it hit your brain, Soonyoung let go of you.

(THIS IS THE END OF PART 1/2) ~ (FORWARD TO PART 2/2) ~ (CONTINUE TO SVT MASTERLIST….. )

Well would you look at that: 13/April/2023

175 notes · View notes

burberrycanary · 6 months ago

Note

For the fic commentary game...I want to ask about so many lines, but ok. I've narrowed it down to three from Lost Vocabularies..., so you can pick—I'd be so interested to get your author's commentary on any (or all) of them! 💛

He will never forget nine months of stock prices from 1950.

(this is the one I'm probably least likely to get an answer to, which is fine, but I'm so very curious about what Steve did during those months in the past, and a girl's gotta try! 😜)

2. But he sure as hell doesn’t want them back, not so long as Bucky is willing to carry them, whatever they mean to him now—though Steve doesn’t like to think how Bucky must have found them and when.

(Basically, I just like to make myself sad about Bucky Barnes, so hey: talk to me about the dog tags!)

“Why were you always signed up for something? You already took more vocational classes than about anybody.”

[…]

“Trying to impress my dad,” Bucky admits on a slow breath out. “But not in the way he wanted. ‘One of the laborin’ Barnes with a proper education,’ he liked to say. ‘Bastards won’t know what hit ‘em.’ He wanted me to live out that better American life he was chasing. Be respectable.” Bucky gives a faint dry laugh. “Sorry Pops.”

(I know this is more than one sentence...but I'm just endlessly fascinated by Bucky's (and Steve's) pre-war life and especially Bucky's relationship with his parents and how he feels about them now, after everything. So, if you'd be willing to elaborate on that snippet up there (I'm particularly intrigued by But not in the way he wanted), I'd be ecstatic!

(📦&🧼&◼&⬜-🔪)

Crying into our beers over Bucky Barnes should be the name of our band. 😭🍻😭

The dog tags were such a distinctive element in TFATWS that I knew I wanted to use them in this post-Endgame fix-it series that ended up sprawling out to a bigger scope than I originally intended. But the first question from canon to consider is: whose dog tags are they, anyway?

In the surgery flashback from CATWS, we see that Bucky is no longer wearing his dog tags, which means they were taken away by Hydra. And this makes sense since Hydra was starting the process of completely stripping away Bucky’s identity. What Hydra does with Bucky’s dog tags depends on what kind of organization Hydra is, culturally and administratively. While you could write any number of stories here, especially since Bucky, as a specific known recovered asset, isn’t what the Japanese scientists in Unit 731 called “maruta” (“wooden logs”) or what the CIA-run black sites in West Germany under Project Bluebird called “expendables,” you could argue that Zola might keep Bucky’s dog tags for any number of reasons: spite, gloating, pride, or a perverse attachment to his greatest success. But the most rational course of action would be to destroy anything that could identify Bucky as a well-known American soldier—because this era of American history shows you could get away with not just murder but crimes against humanity as long as you played by certain bureaucratic rules. And this is the organization that Peggy Carter built, canonically, and the era that Steve returns to in Endgame—"the dark and bloody heart of the twentieth century [that] beat and maimed all the unsteadiness out of Bucky’s hands long ago."

I’d argue these aren’t the dog tags that we see Steve wearing when he wakes up in the fake recovery room, which would have been replaced as part of the attempted deception, but instead the ones that he was wearing when he went into the ice, which would’ve been returned once the jig was up:

Hanging around Bucky’s neck on a bright beaded chain are tarnished dog tags with the raised text turned, here and there, the pale green of copper eaten away by time.

I’ll admit I did look up the composition of WWII dog tags and scanned through some research papers on the corrosion levels in metal equipment used in the Arctic before deciding that I could just take a little literary license here and have Steve’s old dog tags be thematically “tarnished,” which in the text is explicitly tied to the theme of things being transformed over time, but the word also carries the connotation of something that’s sullied. For the dog tags, both meanings hold.

My backstory headcanon is that Sam, who was the executor of Steve’s will and his chosen next of kin, invited Bucky to go through Steve’s surprisingly few personal effects for anything he wanted to keep before Sam donated the rest to museums. All Bucky took was the last, unfinished, mostly empty, little notebook and Steve’s old dog tags, which he restrung on a new chain. That’s it. That’s what Bucky is left with as a stranger in this strange land of the present.

In the first glimpse Steve gets near the end of Still Left with the River, he interprets Bucky wearing his old dog tags as indicating that Bucky never stopped caring about him, which is true—Bucky kept on caring a whole hell of a lot. This is Steve’s “it taught me to hope” moment in the text that helps push him toward being honest with Bucky about how he feels after several decades of alternating between pining and grieving, pining and grieving. How many times has the worst already happened between them?

There is always an end to the line where the same big black pit is waiting. And eventually Bucky won’t crawl back out.

But the dog tags are deliberately ambiguous as a symbol, since they equally represent the grief that we see Bucky struggle with in TFATWS. They are Bucky’s chosen gesture of mourning when Steve buries himself in the past. It’s telling that even after Steve returns, Bucky doesn’t take the dog tags off or offer to give them back to Steve again. Whatever they mean, they’re Bucky’s now. And Bucky on some level continues to mourn a faith between them—ineffable and up to that point mutually committed to despite the worst the world could do—that Steve broke when he decided to go back to the past and which returning doesn’t unbreak. Because that’s the problem: “Time only moves in one direction.”

(“There’s a creepy stone somewhere that says otherwise.”

“Exactly.”)

Significantly, over and over, these fraught identification tags are described as occupying the space between Steve and Bucky:

Tipping Steve’s chin up with his thumb, Bucky kisses the blazes out of him while the old dog tags swing a little on their glinting new chain in the space between them.

How Steve left is still very much between them throughout this whole series.

The scene where the dog tags are revealed as Steve’s is significant:

...Steve’s old dog tags swinging in the space between their bodies; then the warm tender weight of Bucky’s forehead, pressed just off-center against his chest, overlapping with the light touch of metal and the pooling chain; [...] Bucky pressed close, and his face hidden.

The contrary actions of Bucky pressing close but still hiding is how Bucky has chosen to deal with the complicated emotional situation Steve has put him in—the combination of intimacy and distance that shades through most of this series. Bucky is trying to both protect himself and give Steve a good-faith chance to do better. Bucky’s strength and generosity win out in the end, because that’s who Bucky is at heart: the bigger person in a way that has nothing to do with being tall or strong or healthy. But part of the problem of any post-Endgame fix-it is that no one fight or confession or “being shoved in a closet together” shortcut could solve these emotional sticking points.

Steve really did that. Whatever his reasons or motivations, which this series digs into a lot in the subtext, in the moment Steve meant it. And there’s no way to undo the choices that have been made, not without recourse to an ethically flawed concept that’s the opposite of living: because trying to undo past losses is exactly what Endgame gets wrong by attempting.

Fuck Endgame: the only way out is through. And by “through” I don’t mean Steve passively playing white-picket-fence house with Peggy through the ugly back half of the 20th century and then getting some sort of science-fiction second chance for a life with Bucky, once all that’s over. That’s doubling down on the flawed ethics of Endgame.

Life is a process of making choices, over and over. And living with the consequences. How you live with them is another ethical choice you get to make, over and over. That’s the constant and inescapable ethical action inherent in being alive.

This series is deliberately full of minor characters with losses just as profound as Steve’s: loved ones gone, former ways of life lost, all the small gathered-together pieces that we each painstakingly build into a life vanishing, whether bit by bit or calamitously all at once:

Her face lights up. “Thanks, I make them myself. I’m thinking of going to fashion school, maybe. Textile design. I’ve already died—fuck being scared, right?”

Between war, the Blip and the Return, she has lost every member of what was once a huge family. And life just keeps going on.

“Yeah,” Steve says. “Fuck being scared.”

Or:

“Been walking since Greenwood Cemetery. I can’t get to where any of my people are buried so you know what I’ve decided?”

Steve gives a hum, meaning what’s that?

“I’ve decided to collectivize. Every grave on earth with the first name George is my boy’s. I’ve claimed every Elizabeth—in all forms—and Rachael, Robert and Joseph. Never cared for my husband’s people so I don’t bother with them. But I’ve got some favorites down in Greenwood picked out for my boy. ”

“I’m sorry for your losses,” Steve says, quiet, and thinking briefly of his own most recent dead. He doesn’t add, I know what it’s like to let grief triumph over reality. “So you visit.”

“Every day that I can. Lots of graveyards in this city. But Greenwood is nice. All the flowers and so forth.”

This is a story about grief.

Steve is trusted with great power to help set right wrongs the Avengers did during Endgame, setting all these other timelines on roads to destruction to save their own. And in the face of the temptation of that great fantastical power: the possibility of easy facile answers to unsolvably hard problems about change and loss so many people equally have to confront and hurt over and struggle with—all the time, right now, forever, constantly—Steve Rogers falters:

Preemptive—that idea is never going to seem right to him. But isn’t that what he’d tried to do when he’d stayed in the past? Get the preemptive good life by side-stepping the possibility of more loss? Because, for him at least, one way or another everything that mattered would have already happened.

And still the same old story at the bottom of whatever idealized notions got papered over top: trading other people’s lives for your own security.

He’ll never know whether, if his plan had worked, he would have stayed in the past for good.

And now he’s got to live with that.

If the dog tags in this story stand for anything, it’s living with the consequences.

You can make mistakes. We all do, individually and collectively. But there’s no undoing the past—not even in the MCU’s confused theory of the multiverse. All you can try is to do better: to make right what’s been put wrong as much as you can; or find things that are good and help them be better for more people.

There are deliberately four apologies offered in Lost Vocabularies: two from Bucky and two from Steve. But this is the climactic and closing apology that echoes the same language used to introduce the dog tags into the narrative:

Pushing Bucky back, he touches the tarnished dog tags where the raised text has turned, here and there, the pale green of copper eaten away by time.

“I’m sorry,” Steve says, meaning a whole lot.

Bucky’s response, “We got here,” deliberately sidesteps the question of forgiveness and is designed to be read in two ways. The first reading challenges the relative significance of the past—we reached here however that happened—while the second rejects the past more completely: all we actually ever have is right now.

The thing is, Steve has been angry his whole life and he’s trying so hard to be a little more grateful for a change.

He’s been doing better and he’ll keep on trying.

But there’s still just so much to be angry about everywhere he looks, from the past all the way through to this moment, burning up in front of him right now: this crawling-forward world that should be better, and isn’t, and won’t be unless people step forward to shoulder the hard slow work with no one to punch and no climactic battle you win or you lose.

This sort of work requires the splendid terrible patience of the tide eating away at a face of rock: mighty and irresistible, but wearisomely slow.

You gotta do the work. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

A Man Takes His Sadness Down to the River (The Consolation of Philosophy)

#thanks for the ask!#stucky meta #meta #river!verse #the existential loneliness of steven g rogers #bucky barnes needs a hug

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1004tyun-archive · 2 years ago

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❥ welcome home, cheater

requested by @dontsayandrew !! ★

I would like to request your thoughts on taehyuns girlfriend giving him the silent treatment because he was being too flirty with moa pliz 👉👈 (bonus points if it’s 6th member)

◌ pairing: idol!taehyun x non-idol!reader

◌ genres: established relationship, slight angst, fluff

◌ warnings: jealousy, mentions of cheating, trust issues, reader has anxiety (implied)

◌ word count: 777 words

◌ a/n: i did not expect this to become hurt/comfort i wanted this to be a funny little fic but leave it to me to make everything more serious than it needs to be 😭 sorry for the wait, i hope you enjoy it!!

you come home from a particularly bad day at work, you’re so weary that you’re near tears by the time you step through the door of your apartment.

you’re ready to collapse in bed and wait for the rest of the night to end, but you remember the one and only ray of light in this shithole of a day— taehyun’s coming home tonight!

if this was earlier in your relationship, you’d hop out of bed, shower, and get pretty but you’ve been in each other’s lives for long enough for him to appreciate your body in all its forms, even in its current fatigued, oversized hoodie and sweatpants wearing, messy haired form.

you check the time on your phone, just one hour until your boyfriend’s supposed to come home.

you bide your time by scrolling through twitter while curled up in bed like a big, sleepy cat, pausing when you spot a video of taehyun at what looks to be a fanmeet for txt’s most recent comeback. he’s maintaining eye contact with one of the female fans, big brown eyes glittering, and an open expression on his face.

you smile to yourself. man, for someone who calls himself cold, taehyun’s easily the warmest looking person you’ve ever seen.

but then you notice something at the tail end of the video.

his hand doesn’t leave the moa’s for a good minute. and they continue to maintain eye contact as they move onto the next member.

… what’s that all about?

no, surely this is just something small.

you check the original source of the video. she’s been a moa since debut, which technically means she’s known taehyun for longer than you have.

you frown, scrolling through her account and witnessing all the photos and videos of taehyun, as well as concert footage from her point of view with taehyun waving at her.

your stomach churns. you swallow roughly, trying your hardest to push back the anxiety fueled thoughts that start to crawl up from the deepest part of your brain.

why did he go out of his way to notice her so much? was he looking for her in the crowd?

does he love her?

“i’m home!” you hear taehyun call from the living room. “y/n?”

you don’t answer, instead deciding to shut your eyes and turn over in bed, facing the wall. taehyun calls your name again and you ignore him, continuing to scroll through that moa’s twitter account.

“there you are,” he says, voice warm. “what’s going on?”

“nothing,” you say, sounding more harsh than you intended.

taehyun raises an eyebrow, “doesn’t sound like nothing.”

something about his tone sets you off. how can be he so oblivious?

“why don’t you go home to your new girlfriend?”

“what?”

you shove your phone in taehyun’s direction and he takes it, squinting at the screen as he watches the fanmeet video on autoplay.

“… y/n, what is this?” he asks.

“i should be the one asking you that! what’s with all the handholding and eye contact, huh? do you like her or something?”

“like her? y/n, i don’t even know her.”

“doesn’t look like that to me,” you said, accusatory. “looks like you two get along great!”

“you aren’t serious, are you?” taehyun asks, sounding exasperated.

you fall silent, and you feel the mattress dip as taehyun takes a seat next to you.

“y/n, it’s not what you think.”

“don’t lie to me. she’s known you for longer, she’s been to every concert, she’s been there for you longer than i have. just say you love her and break up with me already.”

“did something happen today? you’re usually not this… touchy.”

“i’m fine,” you say curtly. a tense silence follows behind your short response. you feel taehyun shift uncomfortably, and you frown to yourself.

you heave a sigh, “this week’s been rough. really rough.”

“why didn’t you call me?”

“i couldn’t, not when we’re both so busy.”

“i’d make time, you know that.”

you feel the mattress shift with taehyun’s weight and you feel his chest press against your back. you try to steady your breathing, holding back the tears that are already filling your eyes.

“i hate coming home to an empty apartment, taehyun. i really hate it,” you say through your tears. “i hate when i need you and you aren’t here.”

“i’m here now,” he says, wrapping an arm around your waist.

“i know,” you say. you slowly turn around so that you’re facing taehyun, burying your face in the warmth of his chest.

“i’m sorry. i missed you, so much,” you mumble and taehyun strokes your hair.

“i missed you, too.”

#taehyun fic #taehyun oneshot #taehyun x you #taehyun x reader #txt fic #crystal’s fics #terry bear 🐻‍❄️#love getting requests and then only following the prompt with 75% accuracy 😭😭

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solsticelosthermind · 14 days ago

Note

Bc you have so so many wips, do you have a favorite rn? Or one that haunts you the most?

Ooooh this is such a good question in that my initial answer was akin to a pterodactyl screech. All of them? The amount of effort I’m expending to not just start word-vomiting right now— scratch that, I need you to know that I had to talk myself out of making this post unbearably long by adding chunks of each wip. I’m chewing on the bars of my self-made enclosure. Ace, I adore you. I’m going to be unbearable for this ask I’m so sorry.

That being said, I’ll stick to SSKK since that’s what the other post became, which does narrow it down. Um. Slightly.

The brainrot today is focused on the self-cest aku thing because of a certain someone’s tag last night and the discovery that?? It’s?? Not even really a tag on ao3?? Except. I’m not so slowly turning that into porn with not only feelings but like, plot, so someone should save me from myself

Sad fic- thusly titled since I was not doing well when I threw that scene together, and I just. Need to fix it now. Except I made it worse the last time I went in there and now I’m that one drowning in my feels gif every time I open it.

Soul/mates and Ability share are probably on par with each other for how often I think about them, but Ability Share is much closer to actual writing while Soul/Mates is long stream of conscious run on sentence style outlining for a fic that’ll be so much longer than I originally intended. (Who’s surprised. No one.) Ability share began life as literally just a scene where Akutagawa’s injured and Atsushi forces him to take the tiger to heal, and then I went, “how the fuck would he do that actually,” and now it’s basically soulmates part 2. Soul/mates itself is. Well. Soulmates. Actual mates because tiger, possibly omegaverse, I haven’t decided. But most of the notes there are about how they could come to terms with it, develop as individuals and a partnership, and how Atsushi would ruin it mid-mission-going-sideways by screaming something horrendous and how Akutagawa shuts right the fuck down because he’s just. Kind of been waiting for it to blow up in his face. And how I want them to be able to share power by the end. is this literally the same fic twice? Maybe so. Two cakes meme goes here, except it’s just me, cackling maniacally, while being buried under 5000x wips

Touch is what I was toying with finishing next because it’s. Well. There’s a lot there, honestly, and the idea of exploring/developing intimacy tickles me. It’s literally just, “He’s never known a touch that doesn’t hurt. I can fix that,” while simultaneously ignoring that maybe you need something to touch that isn’t you doing the hurt for once. Which he? Yes. Everybody’s touch-starved. I love the initial snippet for this so much. Atsushi’s so tired and Akutagawa’s so weird but he’s still trying already and Dazai’s a little shit.

Tiger and his Hounds, though. That’s probably my baby, now that I’m thinking about it. I go back to that terribly regularly and just re-read what I’ve got written and scribble more notes for how I could progress. It’s a re-write. Ish? It’s. Oh how do I even?? The file is about 9k right now, but the only two scenes actually written are what if Atsushi stayed after Akutagawa collapsed post-Moby-Dick, and then Dazai and Atsushi running into a very pissed off Chuuya and Akutagawa. I want to work my way through the entire series, but kind of sideways? The opening scene is Atsushi at an unconscious Akutagawa’s side going, what changed? Why did he save me? And then deciding it doesn’t matter, but it does. And it does change things, because Atsushi’s looking at him differently. And then I want him to run into Akutagawa and Chuuya and dazai in situations between the big scenes. I want Chuuya to adopt him the same way I believe he did Akutagawa. I want Chuuya to be angry and Dazai to miss him. I want Akutagawa to be able to be seen. I want Atsushi to be the terrible little gremlin he is while also accidentally pulling all four of them out of the mud they’ve been drowning in through sheer force of will. I just. I love this. So much. My bullshit summary in this wip is: One sided enemies to frenemies to friends to lovers plus found family like woah. And it’s just—What if Atsushi realized everyone around him is also fucked up? What if he loved them anyway? What if. He realized he’s loved anyway? What if—what if I just posted a snippet because I do not have any self control at all.

The need to post the entire wip is strong y’all. I love this fic so much actually? how am I just realizing this.

“Hey, Ryuunosuke, how long d’you think before this one’s mine too?”

Atsushi scrunches his face up as whatever was brewing on Akutagawa’s face instantly wiped clean. He darts a glance at Dazai, and then focuses on Chuuya. “Preferably never. I am made to deal with the jinko entirely too often as it is.”

“And why, exactly, would the lad end up ‘yours’” Dazai asks with a brightness Atsushi could’ve pegged as fake even without his extra senses.

When Chuuya laughs this time, it’s an ugly sound. Akutagawa swears under his breath, which is all Atsushi needs to brace for whatever’s next.

“‘Cause he will,” Chuuya drawls. “That’s the fun part of your new stray being a kitten this time.”

Dazai matches his tone as he asks, “Oh?”

“See, dogs are loyal. Can’t help it, even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts. Takes a lot for a good dog to bite back. No matter how much you deserve it.” Chuuya’s smirk goes cruel as he put his back to the corner and watches Dazai watch him. A knee migrates up onto the bench, and Chuuya rests his elbow over it. He flicks his opposite hand at Atsushi.

“Cats, though? Cats ain’t built like that. They’re picky little shits. How long d’you think that shine in his eyes is going to last when you have to earn it? How long before your tiger boy decides to come run with the dogs you beat to shit and ditched? How long before you’re all alone again?”

Dazai opens his mouth, but Atsushi beats him to it. “I won’t,” he says quietly.

“That so?”

Atsushi curls his belt around his fingers as he meets Chuuya’s hard gaze. “I may not know why you’re so upset with him, but I know he’s trying to be different. That’s enough for me.”

Chuuya makes a face, wry and full of pity. “When he breaks you, kid, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Atsushi can’t help but huff a humorless laugh. “Can’t break what’s already broken.”

#spaceace00 #asks answered #sol talks #sol writes #sskk rambling #my wips #Christ I said I would not write an essay. I failed. whoop #this is my new favorite ask i could weep

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thegayhimbo · 10 months ago

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@stillhidden I'm answering here because this is longer than I thought it would be, and I have different theories about the UD and the monsters within that I wanted to expand upon. Tagging @skellybonesandtrees @pusheen1802 @spaghettificationandpretzels and @lavandulaphoenix since they've also contributed to these theories as well in past reviews I've written.

First, I think it's important to note the Duffer Brothers have mentioned that the Alien franchise served as inspiration for both Stranger Things and the design of the Demogorgon:

We see this with how the Demogorgon is implemented on the show. The Demogorgon's life cycle, for instance, has similar parallels to the Xenomorph, from the impregnation of humans.....

....to the baby creatures (Chestbursters/Larve-Pollywogs) that come out of the humans......

.....to how rapidly these creatures grow once they leave their human host.....

.....to their animalistic nature.

Both Stranger Things and Alien even feature eggs. The difference is the Alien franchise established that the eggs were a part of the Xenomorph's life cycle, whereas the Demogorgons in Stranger Things appear to eat the eggs, as we see several times in S1:

We've never gotten an explanation about what the eggs in the UD are. It doesn't appear they hatch Demogorgons the same way the eggs in Aliens hatch Facehuggers.

It's possible the Duffer Brothers originally intended for the eggs to give birth to Demogorgons before they changed their minds and the eggs instead became a source of nutrition for the Demogorgons. My guess is the eggs are part of the life cycle of a different monster with a different biology, and it's the kind of monster the Demogorgon would eat to sustain itself. It's the Circle of Life and Survival of the Fittest at play in the UD, similar to how other animals on Earth eat each other. They've shown and talked about other creatures in the Upside Down before: The Demobats. Nancy mentioning different monsters and a "giant creature with a gaping mouth." There were even designs for something called Demospiders that didn't make it into season 4, but could possibly appear in season 5:

In any case, to answer your question @stillhidden, I think the show already has gone with the "Alien origin" in some regard. I doubt the Demogorgons have a Queen similar to the Xenomorphs, but you could argue that Vecna/The Mind Flayer (MF for short) is their Queen. The Xenomorph Queen and The Mind Flayer even have similar (and likely intentional) designs:

As for other theories regarding the Upside Down:

1.) I think Dustin is correct in that the UD is a world that's been around for thousands (or even millions) of years.

2.) I think the ONLY reason Vecna survived in the UD for 7 years without dying of starvation or thirst is because of his ability to consume the life force of any creature when he kills them. We also see vines attach to his back in S4 whenever he remote-travels. The implication I took from that is he draws power from the Upside Down, which may be helping to preserve his life:

3.) I could be wrong about this, but I don't believe there's really a "special origins story" for the monsters of the UD. Previously, I went with the theory that the UD was once a thriving world before the MF came in and turned it into its personal hellhole while also transforming the inhabitants into Demogorgons and other monsters. However, given the way S4 went and the reveal about Vecna's relationship with the MF, that theory is moot. The only semblance of that theory I could see playing out in S5 is maybe creatures like the Demobats having some kind of poison in their bites that slowly morphs their bitten victims into similar-like monsters (think Seth Brundle's transformation in The Fly (1986)). If that theory pans out, then Steve's in a lot of trouble next season due to his bite wounds:

4.) I don't believe Demogorgons/Demodogs are predisposed to hate and hunt humans, and can even befriend them under the right circumstances. D'Artagnan and his relationship with Dustin in S2 is proof of that:

Vecna infecting the Demogorgons and other monsters with the MF, and hijacking the hive mind, is the primary reason they've been going after humans. The Demogorgon in S1 I am dead sure was being possessed by Vecna.

As for the Soviet Demogorgon, the way the Russians treated it as an attack dog and likely abused it (i.e. kept it isolated, used electricity/cattle prods on it, deliberately starving it before they released it on prisoners, etc) is why it's as vicious as it was. Notice btw that the moment it realizes the electric fence is off in the arena, it immediately climbs out and goes after the guards:

Dustin treated D'art well, and he rewarded him by sparing his life (and the lives of Dustin's friends) in the tunnel. The Russians mistreated their Demogorgon in the name of weaponizing it, and paid the price for it.

5.) See my review of The Other Side for more details about UD theories, but I still maintain that Will being taken to the Upside Down is why time froze and the Upside Down terraformed into a version of Hawkins from November 6th, 1983. Vecna wants to know what Will did and how he did it, which is why he's interested in Will, why he didn't immediately kill Will in the UD despite having multiple opportunities to do so, and why he may have even tried to possess Will with the MF in S2. It's a given they're going to explore the connection between Will and Vecna in S5.

6.) In my review of Tomb of Ybwen, I discussed that one possible way for predicting how Season 5 will end was to look at The Lord of the Rings as a blueprint since the show LOVES referencing those books, and even makes parallels between them. Vecna's dominion over the Upside Down reminds me of Sauron's dominion over Mordor. Assuming Vecna's taken complete control over the inhabitants of the UD in preparation for his invasion of Hawkins, and that these monsters are connected to him via the MF and the hive mind, his demise will be similar to Sauron's: Once Vecna's dead, so are the monsters under his control, and he might have integrated himself deep enough into the Upside Down that said world could collapse (similar to Mordor collapsing once the Ring was destroyed and Sauron was vanquished).

7.) They haven't clarified entirely on whether the hive mind always existed in the UD between the various monsters and Vecna simply hijacked it when he formed the Mind Flayer, or if the hive mind was Vecna's creation and he bound those monsters to him when he infected them with the Mind Flayer.

8.) There's also the whole relationship between Vecna and the Mind Flayer. We know Vecna manipulated the cloud of black particles he found to form the Mind Flayer, but what exactly the MF is still unexplained. My brother (who finally watched the show) believes that the Mind Flayer is its own organism that only became a threat once Vecna gave shape to it, and (as part of its agenda) it's currently pretending to let Vecna think he's in control of it when it's actually the Mind Flayer itself that's calling the shots and using Vecna as a pawn.

IDK how I feel about that theory, but it's an interesting direction the writers could choose to pursue.

Sorry for the length lol! I had a lot I wanted to discuss because I love speculating about the nature of the Upside Down. Let me know what your theories are! :)

#stranger things #st5 theories #vecna #henry creel #steve harrington #will byers #demogorgon #the mind flayer #demodogs #d'artagnan #the upside down #number 1 #stranger things season 5 #stranger things theories #the duffer brothers #tgh opinions #alien 1979 #xenomorph

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cirilla-fiona-riannon · 2 years ago

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Kicho's Main Story Ch. 12 Part 1 Romantic

These translations are not intended as a replacement for the game. Please support cybird by buying their stories. Spoilers under the cut. Expect mistakes

Mai: “I want to see you again.”

As I blurted these words weakly...

???: “That’s what I thought too.”

(There’s a voice from outside again...!)

When I opened the door, no one was there.

Mai: “Huh?

???: “Nice try, Mai. The correct answer is...”

Mai: “Up!”

Sasuke: “Down.”

Mai: “Waah!?”

The tatami mat was lifted, and Sasuke appeared in a flash.

Mai: “That surprised me. Can a ninja come out from anywhere?”

Sasuke: “I don’t know. I’m just the type of guy who likes to stick to variations.”

Mai: “I see. You’re very dedicated to your work.”

Mai: “By the way, what are you doing here? I thought you’d gone home.”

Sasuke: “Yeah, exactly. I received an order to return home, so I went back to Echigo, but there’s something I have to tell you, and I really wanted to see you.”

Sasuke: “You escaped from the trading post and came back here safely, right?”

Mai: “Yes. Things happened, but I guess that’s how it turns out.”

Sasuke: “I’m glad to hear that. I was worried that you were suffering from that weird disease too.”

Sasuke: “You feel dizzy and suddenly can’t breathe.”

Mai: “Is that...!”

Sasuke: “You know anything about it?”

Mai: “Yep.”

I remember how hard it was to breathe and involuntarily clutch my chest.

Mai: “I think it’s the effect of history and the future being changed.”

Sasuke: “I knew it. I had the same guess.”

Sasuke: “Actually, my stuff disappeared.”

(It’s the same as mine.)

(I still don’t know where my handkerchief is, but other than that...)

I glanced at the bag I had left in this room when I left for Sakai.

(Right. There was something that had disappeared in the same way!)

I rushed to it and pulled out the travel guide.

Mai: “What? No way.”

Most of it was supposed to be blank, but the contents were slowly returning.

Mai: “What does this mean?”

Sasuke: “It’s the same for me. My stuff that has disappeared is coming back one by one.”

Sasuke: “And this is the most important thing.”

Mai: “What is?”

Sasuke: “The wormhole. The only way for us to return to our original time.”

Sasuke: “Mai. We might be able to go back in the future.”

Mai: “Does that mean the future is back?”

Sasuke: “Yeah, but not completely.”

Sasuke: “For example, the travel guide is partially back to normal, and I no longer feel any pain these past few days.”

Mai: “Same with me.”

(I was able to live a normal life and was so preoccupied with other things that I forgot about it.)

Sasuke: "All I can say is that I'm sure it's coming back."

Sasuke: "And the next time the wormhole will appear is in three weeks."

Mai: "So, less than a month. That's just too sudden."

Sasuke: "I was surprised too, but that's what my observations show."

Sasuke: "I can't say for sure that it'll show up because of what happened last time, but if there's a possibility, I think we should believe in it."

Sasuke: "Besides, this might be our last chance."

Mai: "Really?"

Sasuke: "Yeah, if we miss it, who knows when the next one will appear."

Sasuke: "So if you want, I can bring you back to our time."

Mai: "I see. Thank you."

(I guess it's Sasuke's way of being nice.)

(I'm sure he knows I'm feeling lost.)

If you ask me if I have any regrets about my original time, I don't.

Everything I hold dear is out there. It's where I lived as myself long before I came to this turbulent world, but一

(Too many important things formed in this era, and some people I want to be by my side for the rest of my life are here.)

Sasuke: "I'll be back again next week in the evening."

Sasuke: "The wormhole will appear at Honnoji Temple, just like last time, so we have to leave early, or we won't make it in time."

Sasuke: “I’m sorry I haven’t given you enough time, but please think about it.”

Mai: “Okay.”

Sasuke: “See you later. Good night.”

Sasuke said this gently, and the next time I blinked, he had disappeared.

(A week, huh? I really don’t have much time.)

(More importantly, why do I have a bad feeling about this?)

I frowned as I looked at the guidebook, which was returning to its original state.

It was my and Kicho’s hope to return to the future, where the turbulent world would end as it should have, but before I could be happy, I felt a great anxiety that crushed my heart.

(I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight.)

Mai: “I have no choice. For now, I’ll just work.”

Sighing, I took my sewing kit out again and pulled the new fabric closer to me.

Townsman 1: “Hey, what’s that?”

Townsman 2: “What you ask? It’s the usual. You’ll know it when you see those fancy outfits.”

Townsman 2: “It’s a troupe parading and dancing through these streets.”

Townsman 1: “No. That’s not what I mean.”

Townsman 1: “Don’t you think it’s weird? It’s already midnight.”

The group, which always moved along with lively music, proceeded silently and glided in the darkness.

Seeing this, the witnesses felt as if they had stumbled upon a procession of ghosts.

Man 1 in the group: “Are you sure about this?”

Man 2 in the group: “Of course.”

Lifting their foreign-style hats, Kicho and Motonari gaze farther down the street.

Kicho: “First, we must take it back from the Oda.”

One week later一

(I think Sasuke is coming this evening.)

I paced down the hallway as I checked the date in my head.

(I know I said I didn't have much time, but I didn't need it.)

(I already had the answer in my head.)

(No matter what happens, I want to stay by Kicho's side.)

(I want to stay in this era and hope to meet him again.)

(I want to see him no matter how long it takes.)

The more I put the words in my heart, the more I wished for it.

However, as if to crush my positive attitude, no new information had come in yet.

(Maybe I should ask around while I send off the kimono.)

Ranmaru: "Lady Mai!"

Mai: "Ranmaru."

Ranmaru: "Everyone is coming back. Come with me!"

Mai: "Everyone? Whoa!"

He grabbed me by the arm, and we ran outside the castle.

(Ah...there they are!)

As soon as we stepped out of the castle gate, I saw the Oda army and immediately noticed that everyone was acting weird.

(What's with all the tension?)

(Wait, Mitsuhide is not here again.)

Hideyoshi: "Oh..."

Hideyoshi, who was talking with Nobunaga, noticed me from his horse and waved me over.

Mai: "Welcome back. Um, is something wrong?"

Hideyoshi: "Yeah, a lot's going on."

(A lot, huh? It doesn't sound like good news.)

Nobunaga: "Hideyoshi, we'll begin the war council immediately. Gather everyone in the hall."

Hideyoshi: "Yes, sir."

Mai: "Um, Nobunaga. Can I join you?"

Nobunaga: "Oh? You're curious?"

Nobunaga: "I suppose you want to see if the plan worked."

Mai: "Plan? Huh? What are you talking about?"

I tilted my head, not understanding what he was saying.

Nobunaga, seeing my reaction, looked away and continued on his way into the castle.

(Maybe he was just confirming something?)

Mitsunari: "Lady Mai, there's no need to look so anxious."

Mitsunari: "We're already aware of it, but we wanted to be on the lookout."

Mai: "What do you mean by that?"

Hideyoshi: "We can't say it here. I'll tell you the details in the hall."

Keiji: "Mai, Ranmaru, thanks for welcoming us! Let's go."

Ranmaru: "Okay."

Mai: "Got it."

As Nobunaga had instructed, everyone, including the warlords already in the castle, was gathered in the hall, and a war council was immediately held.

I also took a seat at the end of the room and checked on everyone.

(This tension reminds me of the war council after the bombardment of Azuchi Castle.)

(I’m scared to listen to them, but I can’t just turn and run away.)

I pushed down my unpleasant feeling and looked at Nobunaga.

Nobunaga: “I have news from Mitsuhide concerning the whereabouts of Kicho and Motonari.”

Nobunaga: “The trading post in Sakai has been attacked and is once again in their hands.”

Mai: “----!”

(Does that mean they took it back by force?)

Nobunaga: “I heard that a group dressed as a famous troupe broke into the trading post at night.”

Ieyasu: “Was it poorly guarded?”

Mitsunari: “I’ll answer that myself.”

Mitsunari: “First of all, we both inspected the trading post and the port.”

Mitsunari: “When we took over, they already moved all the weapons to another place.”

Mitsunari: “Therefore, we decided that it would no longer serve as a base, so we chose not to place more troops there.”

Masamune: “We’re still short-handed, so I think it’s a good decision.”

Masamune: “But that was not the case on the other side. They wanted to take back the trading post at any cost.”

Hideyoshi: “I don’t know what they want, but one thing is certain.”

Hideyoshi glanced at me with the slightest hint of hesitation.

Hideyoshi: “Kicho turned his army against the Oda.”

Mai: “............”

(Kicho was a man of convictions.)

(If he really went to talk with Motonari, he wouldn’t bend himself even if it failed.)

Mai: “So you’re saying that Kicho’s purpose was this all along?”

Mai: “To join forces with Motonari again?”

Hideyoshi: “Yes, that would be the case.”

Keiji: “But it’s weird. What the hell did he do that for?”

Keiji: “Taking over the trading post is like going out of your way to let us know where he is.”

Keiji: “I don’t think it’s worth the risk of taking it back.”

Ranmaru: “It’s as if he’s asking us to take a shot at it.”

Ieyasu: “What do you mean by that?”

Ranmaru: “Normally, I think it’s impossible, but I heard it in the reports.”

Ranmaru: “I heard that the movement of the rebels has started to change.”

(Ah...)

------------Flashback------------

Ranmaru: "It's like they have some other goal than destruction."

Ranmaru: "But we still don't know what that purpose is."

---------Flashback Ends---------

Hideyoshi: “Are you saying he’s doing this to direct the resentment and anger at him?”

Hideyoshi: “If that’s the case, I’m not sure what he’s after anymore. What does he want with it?”

Nobunaga: “Nonsense. You can ask him about his motives directly from his own mouth.”

Nobunaga: “If he dares to expose his location and point a gun at us, we know what to do.”

(Is that...?)

The hall fell silent, waiting for Nobunaga’s words.

Nobunaga: “Prepare for war. Next time, we will capture them.”

Everyone: “Yes, my lord.”

After the war council was over, I ran out of the castle feeling empty and found myself in the castle town, wandering through the streets with no place to go.

(I thought for sure I wanted information, but now I’m even more confused.)

Kicho knows about the future.

If that’s the case, he knows there’s no need to clash with Nobunaga.

(I can’t believe the words and feelings he exchanged with me were lies.)

(I wish I could meet him in person so I could hear what he has to say.)

Mai: “Hmm?”

I looked up in surprise at the scent wafting through the air.

(This smell...no, it can’t be.)

My legs started moving, even though I was denying it in my heart.

I ran into a back alley, where I found a person waiting for me, clad in a white haori.

The person then lifted his hat and slowly turned his eyes toward me.

Kicho: “Mai. It’s been a while.”

Mai: “Kicho!”

Mai: “Why are you here?”

Kicho: “I wanted to see you. That’s all.”

Mai: “I don’t understand what you mean by that.”

(You suddenly disappear with no explanation, reappear as an enemy, and now you're throwing something like this in my face as if it's normal.)

Several words float and burst out, finally coming out to my throat.

(I...no, I also...)

Mai: "I missed you so much."

I found myself jumping into his chest.

Kicho: "Mai."

Mai: "Please. Let's stay like this for a while."

I found his scent behind the sweet aroma and couldn't resist burying my face in his chest even more.

It was a fleeting scent I would forget as soon as I left. But as I touched the person I loved, it sank deep into my memory.

Mai: "Please don't tell me you just wanted to see my face."

Mai: "I wanted to see your face, talk to you, and touch you."

(I don't care what it takes to feel him.)

(No, I want it all.)

Kicho: "I see."

Kicho: "Then I should be a little more honest with you."

He took the bamboo hat he was wearing and hid both of our heads, blocking the light coming in from the main street.

Kicho: "I've always wanted to see your face, speak to you, and touch you."

Kicho: "Always."

Mai: "Mhm."

Standing on my tiptoes, I welcomed the warmth I'd been waiting for.

The happy moment almost made my body hot, and I felt like I could do this forever.

Previous Part╏Masterlist╏Next Part

#ikemen sengoku #ikesen kicho #ikesen kichou #ikesen hideyoshi #ikesen #ikesen jp #ikesen translations #cybird #ikesen ieyasu #ikesen mitsunari

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thana-topsy · 1 year ago

Note

1,6,8,11,17 for the ask thing!

Answered #6 in this post, and #8 in this post!

A fanon characterisation that you love

Oh, this took some thought. I went scrolling through my AO3 bookmarks for this one. But at the end of the day I have to go with my good friend @nientedenada's interpretations of Elenwen and Ondolemar in her Q&A style fic: "The Dominion is Here and They're Answering Your Questions" - her take deeply influenced the way I wrote both of these characters in "Hollow Men" as well as just helped to shape the Thalmor into people in my mind, as opposed to stick man villains.

11. Recommend a fic with an unusual/original headcanon or characterisation that you loved

Accidental Double Thalmor Post, but I'm going to have to recommend "Evil is Made of Us" by LeviathansEyes on AO3 for their masterful interpretation of the Thalmor. It's a purely OC-driven fic that's technically a sequel to a much longer fic, but I think it can be enjoyed on it's own easily enough. I had already finished up my own Thalmor-centric fic (Hollow Men) by the time I was reading their work, but I was still SHOOKETH by the end of that story. It was an unflinching look at how "evil" manifests itself, but also how, at the end of the day, people are just people. "Evil" is a concept within the framework of an institution.

17. Something you love that you don’t often share because you’re worried what others will think

Hmm... well, for the most part I'm pretty shameless with most of the stuff I share. I put myself out there in good faith, and generally expect that my work will be taked in good faith in return.

I think, maybe, if I want to be vulnerable for a minute, I'll admit that I tend to meme on Neloth publicly a lot to cover up just how deeply I've been impacted by writing his character. More below the cut, because this turned into a bit of a ramble...

I write Neloth as a low-empathy individual who arguably has a personality disorder (I won't throw around specific labels, as I don't think there is a specific one that I had in mind when going into his stories). My love for Neloth runs incredibly deep because I've been working with this fatally flawed, deeply damaged character who has built his own defences up so impossibly high over hundreds of years that even he is unsure of where his own walls end and the core of himself begins.

And then, to pair him with Teldryn, (which I think most people who only see the ship art or the memes think I just picked two characters and smashed them together for fun or because Hee Hoo Gay, which... isn't a lie, but it isn't the whole truth either). I write Teldryn as an endlessly compassionate person beneath the armor he's been forced to wear (literally and figuratively) over the years. The Nerevarine Prophecy left him questioning his own place in the world with a terrible case of impostor syndrome, and then the Red Year absolutely ripped out his heart (no pun intended??) and left him feeling that everything he did amounted to nothing. So he's cynical and jaded, he's hiring himself out as a merc, he has every reason to hate the gods and the life that's been thrust upon him. And then, for whatever reason, when I put him and Neloth in a room together for long enough, they somehow managed to crack through each others' shells. And it wasn't pretty at first, and, hell, it wasn't even romantic. But it happened. And sometimes, writing can be magic like that.

So here's Teldryn, a literal hero, giving this (by all accounts) terrible person a chance to show that he's capable of both receiving and giving love, actually. And that love can look a little different in everyone. And augH GOD, I HAVE A FUCKING CHARACTER TYPE, OK???

Anyways, tl;dr -- Neloth is actually more than just my special little meow meow babygirl blorbo, he is my shadow self, my darkest reflection, the opposite of everything I strive to be and everything I fear becoming. And I think, by writing him as still being worthy of love and companionship and joy, I'm writing to let myself know that I am also worthy of such things.

#topsy's asks #spread the love asks #neloth

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airasora · 2 years ago

Text

A pawn upon a board

A Thrax and Odette fanfic.

Rating: T

Word count: 11.249k

Prison AU

FanFiction.net link

Summary: How does a queen get exiled from her kingdom all the way to a prison not even in the same galaxy? That's exactly what happens to poor Odette! Sadly though, after years of abuse from everyone in her life, her hardships are far from over when one of the extraterrestrial inmates decides she's his to claim. But can an unexpected romance blossom in an equally unexpected place?

Author's 1st note: Less than a month ago, I shared a quick draft idea for a Thraxette fanfic that I shared on my tumblr and YouTube channel. This fanfic is inspired by that draft. It turned out WAY longer than I originally planned to, but it’s been a long time since I last wrote a piece of fanfiction that wasn’t just 1k words or such, so I took my time with and allowed myself to just keep writing as long as I felt inspired to do so. This is my first actual piece of Thraxette fanfiction and I am very happy with it!

For now, this is just a one-shot, I am not planning on writing more for this… for now 😈 Let me know what you think and where you hope this story will go!

There’s a FAQ at the very end of this fanfic, so please check that for any questions you may have! If you can’t find an answer, feel free to leave a review/comment etc. If you prefer to be anonymous, you can also ask me on my tumblr which allows anonymous asks 😊

Also, this story takes place in the same universe as Treasure Planet does, meaning both humans and aliens exist etc.

Warning: Domestic physical and sexual abuse is mentioned.

Odette was thankful that her father died years ago. Surely seeing his daughter be sent to prison for murdering the man he had arranged her marriage to would have sent him to the grave anyhow. At least he died knowing she would marry his intended for her. At least he died thinking they were going to be happy. At least he died not knowing what his only child would become.

A few years ago, Princess Odette married her betrothed Prince Derek, successfully joining their kingdoms forever. They had been betrothed for as long as Odette could remember, spending every dreaded summer together. The only thing she and Derek agreed on was that they hated each other. Summers were spent bullying each other, being pushed around by the adults around them and were the most dreaded time of the year for them both.

Due to the lack of her deceased mother’s influence, King William over-compensated by ensuring that Odette was brutally encouraged to only spend time on ladylike behavior. Outside of lessons on manners and how to be a good wife – not a good queen – Odette was pushed to learn how to sing, dance and how to be support her future husband. As a child, Odette loved to climb around, practiced with swords, and had a slingshot, but those hobbies were quickly cast aside the moment she used her slingshot to fling a tomato at Derek. Despite him having done the exact same thing to her years prior. She didn’t recall him being scolded in the same way at all.

The only hobby Odette was allowed to choose for herself was reading. William wasn’t happy with it, what did a lady need with books after all, but allowed it to pacify her fiery spirit. Therefore, Odette often found herself reading story after story about imaginary worlds, magic and where good always triumphed evil. It gave her an escape from the tea parties, the lessons and the men in her life.

Despite both Odette and Derek fighting against their betrothal their whole lives, Derek suddenly changed his mind and declared to arrange the marriage. Odette had been so confused, asking everyone around her to wait and causing a scene. When asked why Derek changed his mind, he told her she was everything he ever wanted and called her beautiful. After a confused thank you, Odette asked what else? Surely the man whom she had practically grown up with could think of something else that made him want to marry her. Despite her father giving a grunt as a warning and shaking his head at her, she stood her ground and waited for Derek to answer. Even his mother, Queen Uberta, asked him to answer. Nothing could have prepared poor Odette for his answer. The bullying, the lessons, her bruises with her father’s fingerprints were nothing compared to the humiliation of Derek asking her:

“What else is there?”

Odette held her head high as she refused to marry him and left with her father a few hours later, after giving a curt goodbye to her almost-husband. On their way home, William told Odette he didn’t understand her and what had she wanted Derek to say. Before Odette could answer, her father suddenly grimaced and put a hand to his left arm. Before Odette could even begin to comprehend what was happening, her father fell into her arms and she screamed for the carriage to stop. With the help of one of their traveling companions, Odette got on a horse with her father placed safely on it and she had the horse sprint back to Prince Derek’s castle.

Lord Rogers had met her outside, seeing the urgency in the way her horse was riding towards them, and had immediately called the guards for help. King William was taken to a private chamber and was attended to by multiple doctors while he was struggling to breathe. Derek had joined Odette and insisted to be there for her during what would turn out to be William’s final moments. Before her father passed away, Odette had taken his hands in hers and told him he didn’t have to worry about his little girl and that she would marry Derek.

Derek had, completely inappropriately, excitedly hugged his best friend Bromley to which Lord Rogers immediately hit him at the back of his head to get him to behave. Odette hardly cared in the moment and simply cried in complete silence when her father passed. As he had taught her, she picked herself up, hid her tears and behaved amicably to the public eye. Only when she was truly alone did she allow her frustrations and fears to take hold of her heart, and she let out cries into the darkness of the night.

Odette and Derek’s wedding took place just a few weeks after her father’s funeral, and they had visited his grave to pay their respects before returning to his castle. To Odette’s surprise, Derek did initially not wish to consummate their marriage. He claimed it was due to her still being in mourning, and that he did not want to put any strain on her, but Odette always had a feeling that it was something else entirely. Either way, she was grateful for his decision and avoided going to bed before Derek every single night for as long as she could.

Fortunately, for a very long time, both Derek and Odette were busy with the new development in the world. When they were children, humans discovered that they were not alone in the universe, and that intelligent life was found outside their own hemisphere. Royalty and world leaders alike were asked to gather in an attempt at contacting life outside their own galaxy. While Odette was excited about the idea of intelligent life away from their own planet, Derek was not. The unknown and uncontrollable scared him and so, he continuously insisted that they both kept away from this development. To his dismay though, intelligent life was indeed found and after just a few years, the world leaders were gathered to meet creatures from other planets, previously unknown to people on Earth.

Odette could barely contain her excitement when she saw the first extraterrestrial step off the ship. Whenever a new creature appeared, they looked so different from each other. Since Derek feared them and wanted nothing to do with it, Odette was allowed to be the representative of their kingdom and speak to the foreigners herself. Most of them could not exactly speak any human languages, but some sort of communication was made through body language or by simply guessing. Some of the extraterrestrials communicated in very unique ways and Odette was eager to learn and understand them.

While Odette never spoke too long with just one species, there was one who stuck out of the crowd. A people humans dubbed “Virus” due to their ability to immediately make someone feel very ill, but also heal within minutes. They were the people that looked the most like humans despite having many differences as well. They had two eyes, a mouth, two arms and legs and wore garments just like humans did. They had something akin to hair on their head, but it didn’t look nor felt like human hair. They had hands with claws rather than fingers, and one of their hands always had one appendage that was three times as large as the rest, which harbored all their powers; the healing, ability to make you ill, glow in the dark and much more.

Viruses were also tall beings, the tallest one Odette had seen was twice her height. Their tongues were split into two and were longer than human tongues as well. Their eyes altered depending on their mood, so their eyes never stayed just one color. Odette had tried learning what each color meant, but there were many variations of colors she hadn’t even ever seen before on Earth.

But what really made them stand out was their ability to learn any language instantly simply through a kiss. The first time a Virus kissed a human, humans were shocked until the Virus started speaking English. They could, however, not teach each other their newly-developed language skills as they could only learn from a native speaker. And so, the willing humans kissed the Virus one by one and the Virus kissed the other extraterrestrials and worked as translators between everyone. A Virus had approached Odette as well, trying to kiss her, but Derek had pulled her away immediately.

To Odette, it almost felt like one of her most beloved books had come true. Intelligent life far beyond her reach was suddenly standing right before her. It felt almost magical. What she wouldn’t have sacrificed to see any of the other worlds out there in their infinite galaxy. Derek, on the other hand, remained suspicious of the extraterrestrial and insisted Odette stayed far away from them. When it was time to return home, Odette couldn’t hide her disappointment. The thought of going back to everyday life after everything she had learned was heartbreaking. Derek couldn’t understand Odette’s point of view, not that he tried.

Soon after, Derek expressed a desire to have an heir, which Odette thought would be lovely as she had felt a hole in her heart since her father died, and desperately needed someone to love. While Derek never forced himself on Odette, their attempts at creating an heir was far more unpleasant for her than she had ever expected. She praised her lucky stars that it never lasted too long and the discomfort she felt was usually remedied with a long, warm bath.

The physical discomfort at least.

Despite their many attempts, Odette never got pregnant. Perhaps unsurprisingly, she was blamed for this by the court. Rumors of her infertility spread, jokes were made at her expense and Derek was shown sympathy for marrying a barren wife. Odette knew Derek was not, at heart, a bad man. Not really. He just grew up being told he could do no wrong, and whatever he wanted he could take. His mother was by no means a bad woman either, she had simply doted on her one and only child while mourning the loss of her husband. King William and Queen Uberta didn’t handle the loss of their spouses well, but the way they dealt with it was very different.

As such, Derek slowly started to become resentful towards Odette. First she had humiliated him by refusing to marry him when he first agreed to the engagement and second, now she was apparently trying to punish him by not giving him an heir. The change in his behavior around her was so slow that Odette almost didn’t notice it at first. It started off with not engaging in conversations. Then he stopped reaching for her hand, touch her cheek or dance with her, unless other people were around. Then the snide remarks started, little things that started to annoy him. A dress she had worn too often, a piece of jewelry that distracted him, something she said that he thought sounded stupid. One of his favorite insults was towards her long neck. He would compare her to a swan, making his arm into a gesture that was supposed to symbolize a swan, walking around and “biting” people around them, which everyone laughed at.

Derek would whip his arm away from Odette if she tried to hold it, he’d sneer at her if she was in front of him rather than behind him and he would go out of his way to be with anyone else and leave her on her own. Bit by bit, Odette became friends with other people in the court and would spend her time with them at gatherings instead, since Derek clearly wasn’t interested in being around her anymore.

Derek took issue with Odette’s new friends as well. They were men. All three of them. Prince Jean-Bob, Captain of the Royal Guard Puffin and Mr. Lorenzo Trudgealong often nicknamed Speed. Speed, as far as Odette knew, had no specific royal duty, but instead helped everyone here and there. A sort of everything man, always doing something new every day, without a specific title.

Odette grew up with many people around her; servants, teachers, ladies-in-waiting and so forth. Friends though? Never. Bromley was Derek’s best friend, who also tormented her when they were children. He grew out of it though and was friendly with her, but in the long run he was Derek’s friend, not hers. Jean-Bob, Puffin and Speed were her friends, and her friends alone.

A wife being this friendly with three men without her husband present sparked rumors immediately, and Derek took them very personally. Suddenly, it was not only Odette who had been mocked, now he was the target instead. What kind of King couldn’t keep his Queen’s attention? Where had he failed to make her seek out the attention of other men? Despite Odette never speaking a single ill word about Derek, he blamed her for the humiliation and his treatment of her worsened and became public.

Derek would openly mock Odette for anything he could think of, even things Odette didn’t know could be criticized to begin with. If she had thought her father was strict, Derek was downright cruel. He would push her if she walked too slow, roll his eyes when she talked, openly share intimate details of her to get a cheap laugh and much more. Through all of it, Odette held her head high and didn’t allow anyone to see how much her husband’s treatment of her stung. When they were alone however, Odette would try to talk to him about his behavior. She was shut down each time and, eventually, she tried yelling at him. If he wouldn’t listen to reason, perhaps he would listen to anger. He, of course, didn’t.

Soon, the abuse turned physical. Derek never hit Odette, but he would deliberately be rough with her. The small pushes were nothing compared to the way he would hold her down in their bedchambers. Odette quickly realized that asking him to stop or showing any sort of resistance only angered him further. So she learned how to hold back her voice and forcing her body to stay still. She would try to excuse herself to the bathroom afterwards, but Derek would keep holding onto her until he’d fall asleep and it would be far too late for Odette to draw her evening bath.

When Odette and Derek’s fifth wedding anniversary approached, Odette spent all her free time preparing for it, hoping to rekindle what little love they had for each other before the marriage. Surely they could spend the evening together, having a meal and talking for just a bit. Derek never showed up. He forgot. Her husband forgot their wedding anniversary. Even though he was the one who wanted the marriage in the first place. She knew he was busy, that’s what he claimed at least though she had no idea with what. He stopped having audiences with their people, he was never in his office and, more often than not, she found him in the garden practicing archery with Bromley and Lord Rogers.

Odette didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to; Queen Uberta came to visit and wished her son and daughter-in-law happy anniversary. The look on Derek’s face when he realized was almost amusing. Queen Uberta’s reaction though, when she figured out Derek had forgotten, was definitely funny. She was furious. In front of everyone in the hall, she scolded Derek like a child who stole from the cookie jar. While Odette appreciated the gesture, she knew Derek would blame her for the public humiliation and tried to stop Uberta, but nothing could stop that woman once she was fired up.

Like Odette had foreseen, Derek did take it out on her later that evening. He yelled at her, asking her if she had enjoyed making him look bad in front of his mother. Odette had dared tell him he made himself look bad without her help, which had earned her a slap. It wasn’t a particularly hard slap, Derek had just swung around to face her and accidentally hit her. He didn’t apologize and neither did he seem to even realize what he had done and simply kept yelling.

At one point, Derek grabbed ahold of Odette’s dress and ripped it off her, making her stumble backwards onto the bed. The force of it made the night table shake and she quickly saved the statuette before it could fall on the floor. When Odette looked back at Derek, he was in the middle of taking off his own clothes. For the first time, Odette begged him not to touch her, not when he was so angry with her. Derek rolled his eyes at her and grabbed her by her legs, pulling her closer to him before he spoke his very last words.

“You really do only have beauty and nothing else.”

Odette didn’t mean to hurt him… What he said scared her and proved to her what she had been told almost all her life; she was just a little trinket. Something pretty to look at. Seen, not heard. All her insecurities, her trauma and the ever evolving abuse from her husband all came crashing down on her at once and she swung the statuette at Derek to get him away from her. She immediately expected to get yelled at, but Derek was completely quiet. It wasn’t until Odette dared opening her eyes she realized he was lying on the floor, completely still. She looked at the statuette in her hand, noticing the dark red blood dripping from the head down the body. She kept staring at it, until the blood reached her hand and she threw statuette away, screaming.

It didn’t take long for some guards to enter the chambers, after hearing their Queen scream. Nothing could be misunderstood by the scene in front of them; their King laid lifeless on the ground, blood appearing from a wound on his head and their Queen on the bed, blood on her hand and a bloody statuette accompanying her. One guard went to console Odette and the other left the room to gather more guards and sent for a doctor. Odette’s entire body was shaking, sobbing uncontrollably and was mumbling incomprehensibly. She couldn’t hear what anyone was saying and she kept her eyes shut tight, as if that would make it all go away.

Everything after that was a blur. Odette remembered standing trial, accused of deliberately murdering her husband and King and the discussion of her sentence. She remembered hearing discussions of beheading or hanging, but Queen Uberta had insisted on exile rather than execution. More specifically, galactical exile.

During the development between humans and extraterrestrial beings, a new concept of galactical exile was created. Instead of spending funds and creating space for the criminals of their own planets, many planets had started to send their criminals to an asteroid prison for the purpose of permanent exile. This would be the first human to be sent to The Galactical Exile, at the very edge of the galaxy, 1.000 jumps from the next inhabited planet. It being a Queen who had killed the King seemed oddly fitting. And so, Odette was put on a space ship and sent to The Galactical Exile.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Odette swallowed a lump in her throat, but it was difficult with the shackle around it. She was chained to her own two hands and the seat she was in. The shackles were merely for show, you couldn’t escape this pod even if you tried to. The space ship was cramped, practically claustrophobic, with only about 15 people in it, including the two guards and captain. Odette looked around, as subtly as she could, to see all the different creatures around her. She recognized most of the species from her time at The Introduction. She wondered why they were there. What could they have done that was so bad they were exiled from their planet?

Odette had a feeling that she would be the only one with an unintentional murder on her sleeve.

When the ship stopped moving, Odette looked out the little round window. All that could be seen was darkness and the edge of the asteroid they had landed on. A voice on a speaker interrupted the silence and the inmates all stood up and lined up in single file. Odette, despite not understanding the speaker, copied her inmates. One of the aliens pulled out what looked like a digital pad and asked the first inmate some questions before the inmate was then grabbed by another guard and pulled outside. This happened one by one until it was Odette’s turn.

He was a slender beige green alien, wearing a blue agent uniform with gold epaulets that carried brownish gold trimmings, three matching vertical buttons, matching wrist linings and a matching brooch with a small red jewel on it. He also wore a black belt with a round gold buckle and a brown pouch with a flap on the left. He had one big eye with what looked like an antenna at the top of his head.

The alien smiled brightly while reading her name. “Queen Odette Nicastro from Earth. Welcome, you’re our very first human. I’m very happy to meet—” the alien spoke happily until he looked up and saw Odette. She was about two heads taller than him, but she had a feeling that’s not why his smile faded. A look of concern crossed his face and he looked at his tablet again. He coughed, seemingly to collect himself and bowed to her. “Well… Your Highness, it’s an honor to meet you.”

“Thank you… but I am hardly Queen anymore.” Odette replied, doing her best to smile back at the alien. “How come you can speak English, Mr.…?”

“Pleakley, at your service! I have always been fascinated by Earthlings! You have so many languages, but English is the most common one. Everyone here can speak English as well, some better than others though. Well, the Galactical Exile’s staff can anyway. You probably won’t be able to understand anyone else though, um…” the inspector started muttering and looked behind him. He spoke in an unfamiliar tongue to the guard behind him who then grabbed Odette, but did not pull her outside like the others. Instead, he kept holding her shackles and simply had her stand next to him while Pleakley spoke to the next inmate in line.

Odette was confused to say the least. Pleakley seemed very friendly, but why did he want to keep her around for a bit longer? Perhaps he simply wanted to sate some curiosities he had about Earth. That suited Odette just fine, she was a big fan of procrastination before entering prison for life. It wasn’t like she didn’t have time. Once the last inmate had left, Pleakley gave what sounded like an order to the guard holding Odette who then let go of her, exited the ship and had the door shut down.

OK, perhaps Odette was a bit worried what Pleakley wanted with her.

“Your highness, we don’t have much time so I’m going to have to be brutally honest with you.” Pleakley spoke in a tone that warned Odette she would not like what he had to say. “You are in terrible danger here. This is where the galaxy’s worst criminals end up and no one here cares for its inmates. If you wish to survive here, you have to find someone willing to protect you. Otherwise, you’re considered fair game. The guards will not protect you from anyone who wants to harm you.”

Odette allowed herself a moment to recover from what she had just been told. Like she had been taught though, she swallowed her fear and put it aside for later. “What would you recommend I do?”

Pleakley nodded, happy to see that Odette understood him. “Find one of the scarier inmates in there who can speak your language. I know there is a Virus in there, he may speak English already, but I know there are other inmates who have spent their time here learning languages. Convince one of them you’re worth having around by any means necessary, so they will protect you from other inmates.”

“And by worth having me around, you mean—”

“By whatever means necessary.” Pleakley repeated sternly before putting on his hat and bowing to her once again. “I wish you good luck, Your Highness. Your cell number is 667. I hope to see you again at my next inspection.”

And with those words, the guard grabbed Odette by her arm, pulled her outside the ship and closed the door behind them. Odette turned around, walking obediently with the guard through a long hallway of other inmates. She was put in line with them once again, when the guard removed her shackles. She massaged her wrists and her neck for a moment, while following the inmates into a new room that looked like a cafeteria.

Odette looked around at all the metal around her. Everything looked about as miserable as you would expect; dark, hard, rusted metal as far as the eyes could see. Unappealing food on the cafeteria tables with inmates scarfing it down like it was the most delicious thing they had ever tasted. And, finally, above the cafeteria on level 2, some inmates were eyeing the new meat from the mezzanine. Odette felt like she was in a parade so every inmate could size her up.

Remembering Pleakley’s advice, Odette looked around and got eye contact with multiple inmates, some scarier than others. Some seemed indifferent to her presence, but most were at the very least curious. She assumed it was due to her being the first human there, she may have even been the first human most of them had ever seen. Odette couldn’t help but try to find the Virus in the crowd, but far too many inmates caught her eyes.

One of the first Odette noticed was a cyborg Ursid, large in size yet more fat than muscular. He was wearing a cream colored shirt, red shorts, a black belt, a heavy black jacket and a tricornered hat. He had cybernetics on his right arm and leg, along with a cybernetic ear and eye with a yellow glow. He smirked at her and tipped his hat, but immediately went back to his card game. He seemed friendly enough, but Odette got the vibe he wouldn’t be interested in protecting anyone.

Then Odette noticed a Canid, but he looked like he was even weaker than she were. She noticed a Felinid not far away from him, but she showed absolutely no interest in Odette whatsoever. A Cragorian was next to her who did look at her briefly, but then immediately looked at the Felinid again.

Odette walked a bit further into the hall, noticing an alien leering at her with a very wide grin. Every fiber of her being was screaming at her to run away, but she forced herself to make eye contact. He was definitely interested in her. His skin was a pale yellow with scales all over his body. Some scales were brown, like the ones on his hands, right under his chest and scattered around on his shoulders. Something akin to snake skin decorated his face, jaw and neck as well. He also had an enormous tail, long enough to make him twice as long. The way he looked at her made Odette’s skin crawl. Whatever he would want in payment for his protection… was not something Odette would survive for very long.

With a shiver, Odette looked in the other direction and immediately got eye contact with someone else. This one was watching her intensely. Their skin was a pale pink, almost human like, but the horns on their head and shoulders were dead giveaways. They had markings on their face and their eyes were twice as big as Odette’s, were triangular and fully red. They kept looking at her, but almost looked uninterested at the same time. Odette couldn’t figure out what they were thinking and wasn’t too keen on that level of constant uncertainty in this place.

One by one, Odette felt like she had run out of options and none were particularly tempting. Perhaps she didn’t have to choose immediately. She wasn’t the only new inmate, surely she could keep herself safe for at least a day or two so she had time to figure out what to do. For now, she had to give the food a chance. She couldn’t remember the last time she ate.

Odette wasn’t even sure what to call this supposed food on her trey, it looked like slob. She was debating where to sit when she felt something soft slither around her hips and pull her backwards. With a shriek, she landed on the lap of whoever had pulled her to them and she looked up at them. It was a Lolligo, a cephalopod mollusk creature with ten tentacles, similar to squids and octopi on Earth. They were holding her on their lap with at least five of their tentacles, one around each arm, her waist and two on her legs.

The Lolligo spoke to Odette, but she didn’t understand. What she did understand was the laughter she heard across the table, that sound was apparently universal. She looked towards the laughter and saw another pair of Lolligos looking at her. One of them let a tentacle take her hand and shook it curiously, almost mimicking a handshake. The other Lolligo started touching her hair, pulling at it curiously. Once the shock ebbed away, Odette pushed at the tentacles to get away. The Lolligos merely laughed at her. Apparently it was really funny to touch her as they pleased, without any care for her at all. When she felt a tentacle touch her leg, she started kicking and yelling, hoping making enough of a fuss for them to give up. It only seemed to make it more interesting though if the way yet another tentacle was caressing her cheek was any indication.

Odette was about to grab her tray and slam it into the Lolligo whose lap she was sitting on, when she suddenly felt something far more solid lift her off the soft alien. She dropped the trey and reached out for whoever had saved her. Well, she hoped they were saving her at least, and not just replacing her aggressor. She heard the person speak in the same language the Lolligos understood and they seemed to growl at them in response.

Odette looked down at the arm around her, noticing it being clad in a black coat. On the floor, she saw big black boots and a shadow mixed with hers, but this person’s shadow was far taller than hers. She looked to the side of her that was pressed against this person’s chest and saw one of their hands which was a deep red color and had long claws. Odette got a feeling and looked up to confirm it; yes, this was the Virus Pleakley had talked about. His skin was deep red, his hair looked like purple dreadlocks and his eyes were, currently, light blue. Odette couldn’t remember what light blue eyes meant, but he was smirking confidently. His teeth were sharp and had a green tint to them. His cheekbones were sharp, chin even sharper and he was at least three heads taller than her.

The Virus looked down at Odette, flashing her a toothy grin. Without a word, he closed his eyes and kissed her. She gasped in shock and almost slapped him before he leaned back and spoke to her in English: “Hi, Princess. Remember me?”

Yes, Odette did very much remember him. He was the Virus who had tried to kiss her doing The Introduction before Derek had pulled her away. The scolding she got from Derek afterwards – despite her having no intention of kissing the Virus - was one of the worst ones. She couldn’t blame the Virus, she knew that, but back then she couldn’t help but to.

One of the Lolligos started talking again and Odette looked at them, wondering what they were saying. The Virus, in an almost playful voice, responded in their language. Despite his casual tone, the body language on the Lolligos changed immediately and they seemed tense. One of them waved a dismissive tentacle at them and went back to talking with each other instead.

Without a word, the Virus lifted his hand towards Odette’s tray, lifted it off the floor and threw it towards the trash can with a simple wave of his hand. “Let’s find you something more humane to eat.” He suggested, kept his arm over her shoulder and pulled her with him. Odette looked around them, noticing how everyone was watching them intensely. Was this Virus someone with power in The Galactical Exile? She looked up at the mezzanine, noticing the large yellow creature whose smile had completely disappeared. Yes, this Virus must have had some control in this place.

The Virus brought her around a corner, entering another section of the cafeteria. About 10 other species were already seated there, eating completely different food that actually looked edible. Delicious even! The Virus brought her up to the table where a Sagitta was standing, ready to give them food.

“Let’s see. What would be worthy of a Royal Earthling…?” The Virus said pensively and looked at the menu. After a few seconds, he spoke to the Sagitta who nodded, turned around for a few seconds and then presented a tray with a stew that smelled heavenly. The Virus threw a small satchel at the Sagitta and lifted the tray with a wave of his hand. What was in that satchel? Money? Was that what made him powerful?

The Virus lifted Odette for a moment before placing her in a soft chair. He put the tray in front of her and sat next to her, turned completely towards her with one leg under the table and the other leg away from it. “Eat, Your Highness. I bet it’s been a while.”

Odette grabbed the spoon, filled it with the stew and apprehensively put it inside her mouth. To her relief, it tasted heavenly. She took a couple more bites before she decided she didn’t care about manners and simply lifted the bowl and drank it all in one go. She was going to have a stomach ache later, but she didn’t care. This was the happiest she had felt since… she wanted to say since Derek died, but the truth was she had been unhappy for much longer than that.

Odette looked to her right at the Virus who was smirking in amusement. She noticed his eye color had changed; this time they were magenta. “You must be so scared.”

Who wouldn’t be? Odette thought, but forced a stern expression onto her face. “Only until I get used to this place.”

“You don’t get used to The Galactical Exile. Especially not a princess.”

“I’m a queen—”

“Was a queen.”

Odette couldn’t help but grunt a bit at that. He wasn’t wrong, her status on Earth meant nothing here, especially when her title was stripped away from her to begin with. “Why did you help me?”

“Oh, I think you know why. Now, you’re indebted to me.” The Virus replied, his grin spreading. “The name is Thrax.”

“I’m Odette, and I was not aware that your kindness came with a price.”

“Everything comes with a price around here.” Thrax chuckled. “Or are you really this naïve?”

Odette grimaced. “Thank you for the lesson. I will no longer fall for any tricks.”

“If you think getting tricked into a meal is bad, you’re in for a really bad time here.” Thrax laughed. “No… you should really stick with me.”

There it is.

“And what will you expect in return for protecting me?” Odette asked, putting on her best business queen mask. She wasn’t sure she could trust Thrax, well, perhaps she couldn’t trust anyone in a place like this. But it was too soon to know whether Thrax was her best option.

“Simple… do as I say, and I will be your slave.”

“… That makes no sense.”

“It will. Just…” Thrax started and moved so close to Odette that she could feel his breath in her ear when he whispered. “… let me claim you.”

Odette felt a shiver travel from her neck down her spine. “That was more of a statement than a question.”

“That’s because I’m not asking a question. I don’t want to give you the option to say no.”

Clever.

“Thank you for your offer, I will think about it.” She responded defiantly, looking straight into his eyes, which had turned purple at some point.

“I recommend thinking fast, Your Highness. You’re a very easy target. A pretty little bird like you couldn’t possibly protect yourself.”

At that, Odette stood up from the table, clenching her elegant hands into fists. “Luckily for you, I’m done thinking. I have no intention of becoming someone’s trinket again.”

“Again?”

Had Odette not been a princess, she might have cursed her own name for her stupidity. “Thank you for your offer, but I want nothing to do with you.”

“Oh? But I want to have everything to do with you.”

At that, Odette felt goosebumps grow on her skin. She looked at Thrax, an unmistakable look in his eyes as a hint of pink traveled across them before they turned magenta again. Odette had to force herself to look away so she could finally walk away from this loathsome creature. For a moment, she thought she had found someone decent in this place. Well, that was definitely a mistake she wouldn’t repeat.

“Hey, Princess!”

Odette sneered as she turned around. “I’m not a—” She was interrupted by something being shoved in her mouth and she instinctively hid her lips behind her hands. She glared at the Virus who was just smirking at her while she chewed whatever was in her mouth. It tasted sweet and familiar, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.

“Couldn’t let you leave without your dessert.” Thrax explained and walked past her. “I’m in cell 666 if you change your mind.”

Odette turned to look at him, still trying to figure out what she was currently eating. Her curiosity got the better of her and she spit out a tiny bit into her hand. Custard bun? She thought in confusion, recognizing the texture and color. How in the world did this place have custard buns? Even though Odette would usually never be caught dead putting spit-out food back into her mouth, her love for this particular pastry won her over and she swallowed the bite.

Odette spent the rest of the day getting to know the place. She found out there even was a library in this place, but the books and tablets were mostly non-human, and she couldn’t understand them. She found one book in a human language, but it was in Chinese. Odette eventually also found the shared showers and a sort of schedule where you could sign up for when you wanted to take a shower. Apparently there was some sort of technology that would scan you as you tried to enter and if you weren’t scheduled for a shower, the door in front of you would close. That made Odette feel safe enough to schedule a shower for herself. She had only ever had baths, but surely it couldn’t be that much different. To her surprise, there was an available time slot in just a few minutes, so she stayed put until then.

Turns out showering was a bit more different than Odette was prepared for. There were far too many nuzzles for her to figure out what to do with and the water didn’t feel like water on earth. Odette realized that despite her independent nature, she truly had relied on servants her entire life and she didn’t know how to do even the simplest of things. The shower was unsuccessful and Odette didn’t feel any cleaner than when she entered the shower. It had helped a bit, but mostly it was more stressful than relaxing. Just another thing to add to the list of things she had to get used to.

A loud bell ran across the entire prison and an announcement was made in a language Odette didn’t understand. She looked around, trying to find someone who might translate for her, but the people she saw either scared her or clearly had no interest in her at all. What she did notice though was that most prisoners were now walking away from the area. Odette watched as a few inmates entered a cell individually and she realized the bell must have announced roll call. The cells all had signs above them with a number – fortunately these signs were translated into all languages, including Earth numbers. Odette ran through the hall, counting down as she reached her cell on the sixth floor.

To Odette’s shock, she noticed Thrax standing near her cell, almost like he was waiting for her. He saw her immediately, a wide grin spreading on his face. “Made it just in time. Get in your cell before the guard comes or you’re in trouble.” Was all he said to her before walking inside his own cell.

We’re neighbors… great.

Odette went inside her cell immediately, closing the door behind her. To her horror, their cells were divided by just a few bars. He could see her completely, there was no area to hide or be alone. Their beds were even placed up against each other’s. Thrax sat down on his bed, gesturing for Odette to sit down on hers. In defiance, she grabbed ahold of the bed and pulled it away from him, planning to put it against the bars on the opposite side. To her surprise, all Thrax reacted with was a smile, almost as if he knew she was going to do that.

Once Odette’s bed hit the bars though, she looked up and saw who her other neighbor cellmate was; one of the Lolligos from earlier. Almost immediately, one of its tentacles reached out for her and she pulled her bed back in panic. The Lolligo made a sound that sounded an awful lot like a laugh and went back to whatever it was doing before it saw her. Odette looked over her shoulder at Thrax, who was smiling knowingly at her. Begrudgingly, she pushed the bed back towards him and sat down.

“You made the right choice.” Thrax praised despite Odette not even looking at him. “Lolligos aren’t known for keeping their limbs to themselves.”

Odette lied down on her bed, her back turned to Thrax. He laughed at her like she was a bratty child, but left her alone otherwise. Once the guard had come by to confirm everyone was in their cells, the lights were shut off. It was completely dark and Odette immediately felt terrified. She always had a candle near her, she had never been fond of the dark. She struggled to calm herself down, but the darkness made room for her memories to haunt her as well. The memories she had tried to keep at bay, memories of Derek and their last moments together. The sound of Uberta wailing when she saw her son, killed by her daughter-in-law, the one she had chosen for him. The guilt, shame and fear all came crashing down on her at once.

Odette felt the sobs approaching just when a flicker of light caught her eyes. She looked to her right, towards Thrax, and realized the light came from him. It was that elongated claw that harbored all the Virus’ powers, such as a source of light as well. Odette couldn’t resist; she turned on her side so she was facing the glow and willed her sobs to go away. To her surprise, the orange glow felt warm, almost as if it were fire. Odette wasn’t sure what had made Thrax’s claw glow, but she was thankful for its soothing effect. Not long after, exhaustion overtook her and she fell asleep.

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Waking up in The Galactical Exile was not an easy thing to do. However, the sound of the bell made sure that it was a rude awakening either way and Odette flinched from the sound. She opened her eyes, looking down at herself. The uniform she saw confirmed that the last few days weren’t just some wicked nightmare and she sighed. She looked ahead of herself, seeing Thrax’s face in front of her. In shock, she pushed herself off the bed and landed on the stone floor. She groaned from the pain and sat up.

“Am I that scary?” Thrax teased and stood up from his bed

Yes, Odette thought, but kept it to herself. As soon as she stood up, her cell was unlocked and Thrax was standing right in front of her. “What are you—”

“Hold still.” Thrax ordered and put his elongated claw on Odette’s back. Despite every instinct inside of her screaming to get away from him, she held still as she felt a soothing warmth spread across her back. When the warmth was gone so was the aching from her fall. Experimentally, Odette stretched her arms and any discomfort she had felt from the bed was also completely gone. Truly, any physical ailments were gone from her body and just with a stroke from Thrax’s claw. She almost wanted to joke that he would become the most prosperous healer on Earth, but then remembered some kingdoms on Earth still burnt witches. Though something told her mere fire wouldn’t harm a creature like Thrax. “So, would you prefer a proper breakfast or whatever slob the kitchen has found inside the vents this morning?”

Odette felt her stomach turn from the memory, but shook her head stubbornly. “Thank you for… whatever to call what you just did. But I have no intention of becoming someone’s property.”

“You wouldn’t be my property any more than I would be yours.”

“I have a hard time believing that.” Odette dismissed and walked out of her cell.

She hard Thrax closing her cell door behind her before following her to the cafeteria. To her surprise, he stuck by her and took a tray right after she did. Why would he stay in the cafeteria with her when he clearly had better options literally around the corner? No matter his intentions, Thrax followed Odette and sat besides her with his own tray. Odette would have been annoyed by his presence, but the food on her tray took all of her attention. It was a big, round and blue ball with what looked like a bamboo stick next to it. She had no idea what it was, but it had a very distinct smell. What that smell was however she had no idea.

Odette looked up at Thrax, silently admitting she had no idea what to do. “Let me help you.” He chuckled, took the bamboo stick and hit the blue ball. It immediately opened, revealing a yellow substance inside of it. The uncomfortable smell turned vile and Odette had to hold her nose to avoid openly gagging. “Are you going to throw up, Your Highness?”

“Unfortunately not.” Odette answered nasally, her hand desperately closing her nose off to the smell. “What is this?”

“I believe Earthlings call them pill bugs, they are not as big on Earth though.”

Odette wanted to scream. She wanted to throw the tray away, run back to her cell and never come out again. That pill bug was the size of her head, its insides were laid open for her to see and, apparently, eat. The smell was more foul than anything she had ever smelled before. She looked towards Thrax who had just opened his own pill bug. He wiggled the bamboo stick at her, put it into the pill bug and sucked. He grimaced once the meat met his taste buds and coughed.

“Ew.” Thrax said simply, sticking out his split tongue. Odette couldn’t help but laugh at his expression. He looked like a child being forced to eat his vegetables. “Your turn.”

Odette’s laugh subsided immediately as she looked at her own untouched pill bug. She grabbed her bamboo straw, braced herself and sucked some of the meat into her mouth. What in the world, she thought when the warm goo hit her tongue. She looked up at Thrax who was looking at her expectantly.

“Why does it smell worse than it tastes?”

The laugh that came out of Thrax echoed in the cafeteria. He was in utter shock, but loved Odette’s reaction. She too was in shock. Why did it not taste bad? Why was it almost, kind of… okay? No good, but edible. She kept looking at Thrax who was struggling to stop laughing, tears even formed in the corner of his magenta-colored eyes. She would never have guessed he could laugh like that; so rambunctiously and without a care that everyone was looking at him. It was infectious. Despite not wanting to, Odette couldn’t help but laugh a bit as well. Their eyes met and for just a moment, she didn’t feel as lost as she had in a long time.

A voice interrupted their laughter and both Odette and Thrax looked towards the person approaching them. Odette couldn’t help but flinch and lean back into Thrax. The alien in front of her was an Arachnid, his face was insect-like with large, bulbous yellow eyes bearing star-like pupils. He had two large fangs in his upper jaw along with slim red fangs in his lower jaw. He had long gray hair hidden under a brown hat and a spider-like lower body complete with six slender legs. They grew from an abdomen with a black shell and a red underbelly. There were fang-like red spikes on the tips of his legs as well, he was hunched over and showing off his red crustacean claws. These claws looked like lobsters on Earth, not like the claws Thrax had.

“Oh, fuck off, Scroop.” Thrax dismissed and turned Odette away so she wasn’t looking at the Arachnid anymore. “Ignore him”. He whispered in her ear, but that was hard to do when she suddenly felt a claw grab a lock of her hair. The Arachnid, apparently named Scroop, was studying Odette’s hair. In fear of him cutting her hair with those sharp claws, she pulled her hair out of his grasp. A few hair strands were cut off in the process, proving just how sharp those claws really were.

“Don’t underestimate me, lass.” Scroop warned, still holding his razor-sharp claw threateningly close to her. “I could snap you like a—"

“Something tells me you’re hard to underestimate.” Odette interrupted before she could stop herself.

Thrax had apparently been in the middle of drinking because Odette heard the unmistakable sound of him spitting out the liquid, followed by a laugh which was only interrupted by a cough here and there. Thrax said something in a language Odette didn’t understand and suddenly, other people in the cafeteria were laughing as well. Scroop looked around in embarrassment and then reached for Odette, yanking her off the bench. She realized that insulting the creature who clearly wanted a reason to hate her wasn’t the smartest choice she had ever made. Perhaps it was only second to marrying Derek.

“Why, you impudent, little Earthling!” Scroop yelled and put his other claw threateningly close to Odette’s chin. “This is why I hate humans. You’re all—”

Scroop’s yelling was interrupted by a scream of pain from himself when Odette kicked him. She had expected her foot to be met with something hard due to his shell, but she must have found a soft spot because he immediately dropped her to the floor to soothe the pain. She got up on her feet and ran behind Thrax who had stood up from the bench. Scroop was about to reach for her until he saw Thrax.

“Get out of my way, Virus, or I will rip your head off your body!”

“Hm, sounds like a gas, baby. Bring it on.” Thrax responded whipping out his hand, the claw already glowing a threatening red color.

Before either of them could do anything though, Odette had thrown the tray of pill bug guts at Scroop, successfully blinding the Arachnid. She grabbed Thrax’s hand and he ran with her in a mix of shock and amusement. They heard Scroop yelling and others starting to give chase after them. Thrax laughed, caught up with Odette and turned the corner of a hallway. Before she could continue running, Thrax pulled her into a narrow passageway meant for the guards to make shortcuts. He pushed her up against the wall, trapping her with one of her legs forced around his waist to make room for them both. Odette wanted to protest against the inappropriate position, but Thrax hushed her as the group of inmates got closer.

Out of pure defiance, Odette pushed Thrax’s hand away from her even though it did little to change their proximity. He looked down at her and that’s when she realized just how tall he really was. Derek was taller than her as well, as most human men were, but Thrax was about two heads taller than Derek. She really had to lean her head backwards to look at him properly, he was truly towering over her despite making himself as small as possible to fit inside the narrow passageway. When his eyes met hers, fixating on her every move, she noticed a flicker of pink around his irises. Small sparks, almost like the crackles of fire in a newly-lit chimney.

Instinctively, though Thrax hadn’t moved at all, Odette knew what he was about to do. “Don’t you dare.” She whispered, hoping it sounded more confident than she felt. He searched her eyes, looking for any sign that she really wanted him to stop, and smirked when he found none. “No—” she hissed, but was very quickly silenced by his lips against hers. Her eyebrows knitted together in frustration, and she grabbed at his shirt as if wanting to push him away, but pulled him closer instead.

Odette couldn’t remember the last time she had been kissed, but she had never been kissed quite like this. The kisses she and Derek had shared were soft, gentle and romantic, mostly chaste pecks. Only their first kiss was particularly memorable. There was a certain hunger to the way Thrax was kissing her that she hadn’t known even existed. Was it possible to crave a person? This felt like she was being craved, there was a hint of desperation in the way his lips were moving against hers and she didn’t quite know how to feel about it. It wasn’t until the kiss ended, she realized she had been holding her breath and gasped for breath. Her eyes were closed, but she knew he was smirking.

“I think we’re in the clear.”

Odette’s eyes opened in shock, having completely forgotten why they were hiding in the first place. With a sneer, she tried to push Thrax away, but he was already against the wall and just laughed at her. She wiggled out of the passageway, tripping over her own feet in doing so, but was saved from falling by Thrax grabbing her by the waist.

“You usually this clumsy?”

“No!” Odette snapped and straightened herself up, hoping to save at least a little bit of her dignity. She pulled away from him, feeling a blush spread across her face as he far too casually smiled at her. “Don’t ever do that again.”

“Which part?” Thrax asked in mock confusion. While Thrax was talking, he was walking closer and closer to Odette, causing her to walk backwards until she hit the wall behind her. “When I saved your pretty ass yet again? When I hid you from them? Or when I… kept you quiet?”

Odette’s cheeks flared up again and she lifted her hand to slap him. To her surprise, her hand actually hit his cheek, and he did not try to stop her or even flinch. All Thrax did was wheeze followed by a moan, and that flicker of pink showed up in his eyes again.

“Stay away from me.” Odette snarled and walked away from Thrax whom she could hear chuckling behind her.

“You know where to find me when you change your mind.”

Right… his cell was right next to hers. Damn.

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Odette spent the rest of the day in the library, hiding from Thrax and everyone else. She found a book with a bare bones introduction to all the known languages in the galaxy and studied it closely until she heard the roll call bell. She had run to her cell, noticing Thrax already being in his cell just like last night and she spent the night in the darkness with the exception of his glowing claw behind her. She slept better than she had the night before, but not by much.

The next morning, Odette got out of the cell, before Thrax had even sat up, and went to the cafeteria. She was determined to stay away from him from now on, and handle herself to the best of her ability. She might have lived liked royalty, but she wasn’t completely naïve. She got her food, this time it was some gray stuff, and sat down at an unoccupied table and started eating. It tasted like absolutely nothing and that was just fine. After the chaotic few days she had, she welcomed something plain and boring.

Odette managed to keep to herself, always watching over her shoulder to ensure she was indeed alone, until a cyborg Ursid approached her before lunch time. It was the one who had tipped his hat to her on the day of her arrival. He held out a piece of paper to her which she took while eyeing him suspiciously. It was a note asking for her to go to corridor A3 at the bottom level for a health check signed by one of the guards. It was written in perfect English with a very neat handwriting and so, Odette believed the note. She thanked the cyborg Ursid, though she wasn’t sure if he understood or not and she started her walk to the health check.

On her way there, it did occur to Odette that this was a little odd. Pleakley had told her this place didn’t care for its inmates, so a health check sounded uncharacteristic. But that note was so perfectly written, the cyborg Ursid had no reason to have issues with her and she hadn’t seen Scroop or the Lolligos all day, so she was hesitantly optimistic that this was just paranoia. As long as she kept her wits about her, she was sure she’d be fine.

However, as Odette almost turned the corner and entered A3, she felt her arm get yanked to the side. She gasped, but her mouth was covered immediately by an extremely warm hand and she tried scratching the person, but noticed the abnormally red skin on them. She looked up and, sure enough, it was Thrax who had pulled her to the side. She tried forcing his hand away from her, but he might as well have been made of stone. He used his free hand to hush her and her eyebrow twitched in confusion. He slowly let go of her mouth and pointed around the corner. Slowly, she leaned to the side just a bit so she could see.

Just around the corner, barely within earshot, was Scroop, the Lolligos and some extraterrestrials standing, clearly waiting for something. For Odette. It was a trap, and she had almost fallen for it. Her jaw dropped in shock. It was currently lunch time, so she would have been completely alone with them for the next hour and no one would have known. Odette couldn’t know for sure exactly what they would have done, but it could not have been good. Death might even have been the kindest outcome. If they could forge a note from a guard, who knew what else they could do to trick her.

Odette looked up at Thrax, still in shock thinking about what could almost have happened to her. He took her hand and gently led her further away from the corner so they were out of earshot. “Are you convinced?” he whispered when they were far enough away. He put his hands on her shoulders, leaning down until he was at her eye level, gazing at her with intense purple eyes. “You’ve only been here for a few days and you’ve already made enemies. They’re not gonna just leave you alone unless they have a really good reason to… let me be that reason.”

As disheartening as it was, Odette had to admit that Thrax was right. She would have liked not to feel like the damsel in distress she had been taught to be, but the truth was that she couldn’t protect herself. Not here. So, begrudgingly, she nodded and accepted Thrax’s proposition. He gave her a smile that almost didn’t look like a self-satisfied grin, and kissed her hand in a far too gentlemanly manner, considering what he had just made her agree to.

“Get back to my side of the cafeteria. I’ll catch up with you after I’ve told these guys to leave you alone.” Thrax instructed and gently patted her back to nudge her towards the cafeteria. Odette nodded and walked away as quietly and quickly as she could. “Good girl.”

Odette felt a weird mix of emotions at the praise, but decided not to dwell on it and get away from this cursed corridor. Thrax stayed until she was out of sight and then turned around to approach the inmates around the corner. They immediately noticed him when he approached.

“Nice work, boys.” Thrax complimented and laughed as he pulled out a satchel from his pocket. “Best damn money I’ve ever spent in this place.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don’t get what you’d want with that scrawny bitch to begin with.” Scroop sneered as he grabbed the satchel from Thrax. “Earthlings are filthy, nosy little—”

“Hey, hey, that’s my property you’re talking about.” Thrax interrupted in clear offense, but still laughing as well. He had just struck gold after all.

Thrax never thought he’d ever find that perfect little princess he saw months ago during the Introduction. There had yet to be a moment he hadn’t longed for her ever since he saw those big, amethyst eyes twinkling in curiosity at everything that was going on around her. There had been hundreds of people around them, but to Thrax she had become his sole purpose from that moment. It was impossible to take his eyes off her. The moment he saw her smile, his chest had begun to ache more fiercely than he thought was possible. He had fixated on her every move, every word she spoke and every smile she had shown. The only thing that had sullied the experience was that pathetic excuse of a man she was married to. This spoiled little brat who had dared interfere when Odette had shown a willingness to kiss Thrax to let him learn their language. Thrax knew this rat didn’t deserve someone like Odette and he knew it. Derek knew it and that was why he didn’t want his wife to even be present at the Introduction because he knew she’d someday realize she deserved better. Odette deserved someone utterly devoted to her in every single way, and Derek was not.

Thrax knew he could be what Odette wanted, what she ultimately needed. She just had to be willing to teach him. He didn’t know how to love, he had never wanted to experience such a thing. But this desire he had for her, the urge to protect her, the obsession he had to be in her presence every moment of every day, surely this was some kind of love? He couldn’t recall any time he had ever cared about someone, but Odette had consumed his every thought since he met her. He was committed to finding her, but as fate would have it, she had been brought to him with no effort on his part. All he had to do was convince her she needed him, which he was sure she would have figured out herself eventually, but he just didn’t have the patience to wait for her anymore. And, of course, he had to change his cell number so he was next to her even while she slept.

The Galactical Exile was a dangerous place, and Thrax was devoted to keeping Odette safe from everything and everyone there.

Except for himself.

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FAQ

What do Thrax’ eye colors mean?

Black = Afraid

Gray = Neutral/Bored

Green = Happy

Yellow = Embarrassed

Light orange = Tense

Dark orange = Uncomfortable

Red = Angry

Light pink = Flirty

Magenta = Playful

Purple = Focused

Light purple = Dazed/Tired

Dark blue = Sad

Light blue = Confident

Turquoise = Inspired

Who are the inmates Odette sees when she arrives at The Galactical Exile?

Inspector Pleakley is from the Lilo and Stitch.

The cyborg Ursid is Silver from Treasure Planet.

The Canid is Delbert Doppler from Treasure Planet.

The Felinid is Amelia Smollett from Treasure Planet.

The Cragorian is Samuel Arrow from Treasure Planet.

The Arachnid is Scroop from Treasure Planet.

The Lolligos, the Sagitta cafeteria workers, the big yellow alien with the tail and the light pink aliens are no specific characters from any specific franchises.

#thraxette #thrax #odette #fanfic #fanfiction #a pawn upon a board #prison au #thraxette prison au #treasure planet

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