#That penguin does his best but he is. BAD at communicating

[deepseamuse]

my favorite thing about subspace emissary is that it has the best and most accurate characterization of Dedede that isn't a mainline Kirby game. Sakurai knows his characters so well

[stargrltara]

Kinda Outa Luck II

pairing: jason todd x fem!reader

summary: based off of the song "Kinda Outa Luck by lana del rey. 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩. Reader is kinda inspired by catwoman in the batman, she works in a club, and on the low she's gothams most wanted female thief. She is gorgeous, and she uses it to her advantage.Oh, did i mention she has a thing for the Red Hood? And, honesty, he does too, though he is pretty shit at hiding it. PT 1 PT 2 PT 3 ?

warnings: 18+ MDNI, it’s quite long im sorry, mentions of clubs, tying up, begging, mentions of sexual natures and strippers, slapping, unprotected sex, p in v, teasing, some fluff and angst, enemies with benefits??

a/n: guys this is part 2!! wow this is longgggg long. it was originally meant to be all in 1 part but i couldn’t be arsed and thought it would b easier like this xoxo. and sorry for the wait i’m so unbothered bye

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“ before i get bad

i gotta get drunk

so get over here

pour me a cold one „

Sliding on your skimpy, silver dress, you began to contemplate which hairstyle you desired for tonight’s shift. The sequins reflected a soft hue against the moonlit sky and the rain trickled down the windows softly. Brushing through your locks, light specs of gold and white stardust lingered on your fingertips as remains from doing your makeup not too long ago.

As you arrived to the Iceburg Lounge at roughly 9PM, you immediately strutted past the countless amount of people. Aromas of cheap and expensive cologne covered your nostrils like a blanket while you shoved your way past and behind the bar, eager to make yourself a drink before getting started tonight.

Pouring a shot of tequila through the glass, taking an easy swig and tapping it back onto the cool slate; a content sigh escaped your lips.

After a few hours of working, cleaning tables and serving drinks, a man walks up to you. His attire classy, a black suit along with a silver tie. His hair slicked back, sophisticated. “ The Penguin wants you in his office. “ The man grumbled sternly. Nodding, you hesitatingly set the bottle of vodka down and walked towards the Penguins office.

Thoughts corrupted your mind into a clueless haze. Of course, you were his favourite worker, but why did he randomly want to see you at this time? Sheepishly, you knocked on the door before intertwining and fiddling with the nails of your thumbs, sighing under your breath and waiting for what felt like an enternity under the gates of Penguins Office doors.

Finally, a muscular sihlouette opened the door before you. Taking in the unwelcoming sight, your brows curved into a disconnected frown after you noticed the scarlett steel layered on the mans face; orbs painted in a bleached clad. You refrained from widening your eyes too much from the illusion displayed upon you, blinking rapidly as you believed your eyes discieved you; attempting to hide the sceptism through your aurburn soul.

Does he know who you are? And all of a sudden you felt as if you weren't the bravest seductress in Gotham, instead, a neusiating ember arose from the heart of your chest, catching fire to your limbs and your delicate spirit. Suffocated with undervalue and engulfed under the weight of the Red Hood, he moved out of the way for another man to stand infront of him.

" Ah— finally, youre here ! " Penguin grinned at you as you lingered around his office while he communicated with the Red Hood. " So.. I.. Uh— Anything you need, sir?" Your voice shuddered, a hint of reluctance in your voice in front of the powerful image. You couldn’t help but dally your gaze every few minutes onto the rugged frame beside him. “Pour me a drink, will ‘ya? I know you make the best, honey. “ The New York accented man spoke, a wink left his eye before he carried on his conversation with Red Hood; never looking back at you.

Complying to his orders, you made your finest cocktail, which happened to be his favourite before handing it to him. A small nod in validation he gave you before going back to his conversation. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t eavesdropping. 3 words stood out to you. “Guns.” “Illegal.” “Shipment.” Your brow raised each time familiar word like those itched your ears, and all you wanted to do was to interfere with Penguins Illegal Gun Shipment. You were eager to hear more of this, hence the reason you were spending longer than needed to clean and put away the glasses.

You were also taking longer than usual because you were attempting to catch longer glances at Red Hood. He’s massive; his toned abs trapped beneath his suit. The back of his shoulders massive, you could tell by the way he sometimes clenches it. And his thighs? They’re plump, but they also look solid, like you’ll be crushed between them if you ever try to suck—

You were getting ahead of yourself, your mind corrupted with arousing thoughts between you and Red Hood. What was it? The way he grabbed your mouth to cover the sound of your voice, and the raspiness of his filling the misty atmosphere? Maybe it was how he trapped you underneath his body against the cold bricks, and the contrasting temperatures between the breeze and his body warmth.

God the things you would do just to taste that man. Just to pin him down, put him at your mercy for once; get him on his knees and beg. Though, you also wanted to beg. Beg for his erotic touch, electrifying against your skin and sparks clinging to your skin.

Maybe you were staring and dreaming for too long, lost in your daze before reality hit.

It was happening tonight. And there was no way you were going to miss it. You could sell those guns, you could make so much money.

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“ is it wrong wrong

that i think it’s kinda fun

when i hit you in the back of the head with a gun? „

You were ready, at the sight. Hopping out of your truck and inching closer to it. There was a lot of shipment men, and a lot of guards at the gates of the scene. And then something else caught your gaze. Red Hood. It’s fine, you’ll be in and out, like no one was ever here. You’ll be sly, like a serpent. He won’t even notice you.

Swiftly making your way past everyone, through the shadows, which sounds oddly familiar, you fall upon the specific gun crates which twinkle your vision. As one of the guards back is turned, you open the crate and take out 2 highly advanced guns, and bolted, grappling to a roof. Sighing in relief, you turned around, just to be greeted by the Red Hood, but he was clearly occupied with.. something.. arguing with one of the guards before the guard eventually gets fed up and struts of. Red hood just scoffs at the action.

You acted quickly, afraid he would take you down and turn you in. Hitting him in the back of the head with the gun, earning a small grunt, and for him to fall unconscious beneath you. Fuck. You couldn’t deny the shot of ecstasy that ran through you, the feeling of sinning but with a spec of thrill.

Your apartment was a few blocks down. Perhaps, you could carry him drag him to your truck, and then up the stairs to your apartment? You know, to avoid him from finding you and beating your ass.

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“ my daddies in the trunk

of his brand new truck „

The drive back to your apartment was quiet, but your mind wasn’t. What if he woke up in the trunk? After dragging him into your apartment and avoiding the weird stares from your neighbours, you locked the doors and tied him to your chair with a whip-like rope. Though, the situation was quite ironic since it’s usually him capturing and interrogating criminals like this, you couldn’t help but smirk eagerly to see his helpless reaction.

As he awoke, he glanced around, still in a haze from the sudden attack. “ You…” He muttered, a little muffled from his helmet, which you kept on as you planned to do something soon. A giggle escaped your mouth as you watched him glare up, avoiding the embarrassing position; small grunts leaving his mask as he struggled against the rope.

Red Hood let out a low guttural growl as he watched you stand so proudly, proud to have captured someone so much stronger than you; the sound of pain reverberating through his body. You aimed a gun at the base of his helmet, a threat but you both knew you’d never pull the trigger. A flash of surprise crossed his face. Despite the situation, he chuckled through the pain, clearly entertained by your resistance.

"That.. was a dirty move, doll face." He grunted, before you shook your head. “Stop—“ You order him, authority radiating off of you as you slowly inch closer, the gun still aimed at his head, and you place the metal right onto his helmet. “i’m talking now.”

He raised his hands up as much as he could in surrender, amusement still clear on his face under his mask. The supremacy in your voice and your unwavering stance had caught him off guard, and the sight of you prowling towards him with a gun in hand was more attractive than he cared to admit.

"Alright, alright." He said calmly, a smirk still on his lips. "I'm not speaking. Satisfied?" Even the way he man-spreaded was hot; it took everything in you to not pounce over onto him and suck the soul right out of him. Your cheeks fluttered a soft pink at the thought. He even noticed the way you were peering down at his crotch, and his thighs. Honestly, you didn’t really have much of a plan. You weren’t sure what to do with this tank at your mercy in the middle of your living room.

“I—“ You stammered, thinking of what to say. He just raised a brow at you, you’ve done this before but not to anyone like him. You could never take him in a fight, you could never try and overpower him even if you tried.

“You’ve never done this before, have you?” His voice filled with snark and impatience. He had things to do, he was a busy man, and you were stalling him. “I said shut up.” You repeated sternly before preparing your finger on the trigger. You think of something quick, and in that time, your consciousness decides to untie him, the rope falling to the floor but he remained seated, glaring up at you waiting for your next command.

“Get.. Get on your knees. “ You spoke quick, reluctance and hesitation behind your vocals, and you licked your lips in anticipation. His smirk faltered briefly as you ordered him to get on his knees. The thought of actually submitting to you filled him with a mix of irritation and reluctant curiosity. There was something about you in this dominant state that he couldn't quite place, and it made him wonder what you were up to.

Slowly, he begrudgingly obliged, lowering himself to his knees in front of you, his eyes still fixed on your face, studying your movements and your shy remarks. He knew you weren’t an amateur in this region, but he you both knew how he could easily pick you up and throw you against the wall if he wanted. You wouldn’t even realise a swift movement that he would do, as he could easily tackle you.

Your heart was beating out of your chest with anticipation. “Now..” Your voice trailed off slyly. “Take that pretty helmet off ‘f me.” He gritted his teeth as you shoved the gun against his skull. The feeling of the cold metal against his helmet sent a jolt through him, adding to the mixture of anger and mild attraction he was feeling. He knew he should be fighting back, but something about your commanding attitude was making him hesitate.

“Absolutely not.” He huffed, even now it was obvious that he had some sort of authority. You just sighed in annoyance, he was supposed to be fearful right now, except he barely even took this situation seriously. “I’m not asking, Red.” You spat through gritted teeth, warning him. His eyes narrowed as you bit your lip, an action that made him feel a mix of annoyance, and something else he couldn't quite place. He could feel himself getting riled up and it was only making things more complicated. He could also sense your impatience and the determination in your voice, but he stood firm on his refusal. “—and i’m not listening.” Stubborn.

You scoffed. “Jesus— i’ll just do it myself.” You mummer little nothings as you were pissed off, before inching closer, forgetting that his hands are free just behind his back as you kneel down enough to be alighed with his mask and you search for the way to take it off. “You seriously can’t be that bad under there, honey.” a soft whisper — Red Hood couldn't help but let out a low rumble of annoyance as you approached him, attempting to remove his mask. Your ignorance to the fact that his hands were free behind his back only added to his irritation, and ignited the burn in his eyes as you bent in front of him, feeling around for a way to undo the mask, he couldn’t help but revel in your naivety.

Unfortunately, he saw this as a chance. And with a swift power move, he tackled you to the rough of the ground, a loud gasp laced with pain left the pale of your lips. He straddled your body, pinning you down with his weight. His hands grabbed your wrists and held them firmly down above your head. His eyes darkened in anger as he stared down at you, breathing heavily. “Pretty things like you never learn." He growled so close to your ear that his breath was fanning onto your fair skin, an almost animalistic roar through his helmet as he was full of rage, and a slight hint of lust.

Soft groans of agony escaped you as you struggled and squirmed beneath him, weighing you down and ruining your chance to be free. Your body rubbed against his as you grunted. He let out a dry scoff as he felt your struggle beneath him. You were feisty and strong, but he was stronger and had been in this exact position plenty of times before. He tightened his grip on your wrists, pinning them harder against the ground as he leaned down closer to your face. “—What's wrong, doll? ..Not used to being the one on the bottom?” He teased, his voice low and raspy, and a little disoriented from his helmet.

“—you wouldn’t be able to handle me on top.” You muttered between sharp inhales as his weight on you took some air out of your lungs. You voice having a snarky edge but also a hint of a cunning tease to it as you narrowed your hazel eyes at him, lashes fluttering. He chuckled again, this time it was different. Your snarky comment making him more amused than annoyed, and ironically creating heat to pool in his stomach. He liked your fire, your determination to keep fighting, even when he had you completely immobilized beneath him.

“Is that so? ” He purred, his face only inches from yours. Despite your situation, your words had only fueled his desire to put you in your place even more. You just hummed at his words as you could barely form words of your own out of your mouth; your chest rising and falling from each hitch. He shifted his weight above you, trying to hide the raging hard-on you were giving him, and he just gazed at your stunned face.

And in that moment, you both felt it — the volt of electricity that ran down your body and through your ultraviolet veins. — Both of your bodies warmth and laced with lust and arousal. You gave into the feeling of need and desire as you melted beneath his touch as he ran a glove-clad hand down your abdomen, the buzz seeping through your latex suit and causing the hairs on your arms and the back of your neck to rise. His hand stopped right at your thigh, edging you onto feeling an ache, the ember igniting in your chest causing gasps to leave your mouth as you accepted the way he leaned in, inhaling your scent.

You were so lost in the moment that you didn’t realise the way he picked you up and carried you to your bedroom before tossing you onto the bed, the mattress bouncing onto your back as you waited. He turned the lights off, so all that lingered was the soft dim of the billboards and the lighting that struck down as rain trickles onto the glass of your windows.

He must’ve stripped after he turned off the lights because you felt a heavy sink in the bed when he laid on top of you, and the clank of his helmet onto your carpet. You ran your hands down his toned chest. Of course, he felt heavenly, you drew your fingertips and traced the way of each perfect muscle, but just as you were done, he grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head with one hand. He tightened his grip and you winced slightly, though that shot of pain wasn’t from your wrist but from how eager you were to fuck him.

“..I ain’t gonna play nice.” He warned, his real, ragged voice soaking into the air; you took the opportunity of his bare face to interlock your fingers into his locks, earning a small grunt in approval from him. “I’m used to fighting dirty.” You breathed before you pulled him up by his hair, and latched your lips onto his. He tasted different than you expected, sweet and his lips soft, although the hot kiss was aggressive and passionate, eating at eachother’s mouths. He deepened it, sliding his tongue against yours and a light moan flowed from your mouth to inside his, coating his tongue in your hot, shuddering breaths.

You pulled away, filling air into your lungs but just before you could prepare, he leaned in, cupping your chin with his free hand before he wrapped his lips around yours again, this time your teeth colliding and as he pulled away slowly, a string of saliva connected between each of your lips.

After moments of heavy making out, he traced small patterns on your suit, feeling for the zipper before zipping it down. You lifted your stomach up as he sat in between your opened legs, right in between your core as he stripped you bare. You remained in your lace bra and panties and it was unfortunate that he couldn’t see such a sight and you can’t see his true features.

It felt like heaven was having a bubble bath in your stomach as he planted small, open mouth kisses around your neck, each leaving a trail of his saliva. He licked a long stripe from your neck to your ear, nibbling on your delicate skin. “..you don’t know how long i’ve been waiting to do this..” he muttered into your skin, gaining a soft moan in agreement, as you admit, you also wanted to do things to him.

His touch felt like it originated from Eden’s garden, his lips creeping down your stomach, sucking and licking at your flesh, knowing there’ll be marks by the morning; the vision sending a jolt down through your body. A sudden fire ignited in your veins and in your limbs, a shot of ecstasy. He could feel the way your body shook and jolted at each touch he laid upon your skin. It only fuelled him.

He reached at your panties, and he pulled it down slowly, slow enough that it made you grunt in impatience. “please..” a low whisper escaped from you, you didn’t even realise what you said, you were lost in the moment. “ patience, baby ” was all he spoke before he spread your thighs wider, his fingers gripping onto your flesh, marking his fingerprints and leaving a surprise for the morning. The scratching of your skin against your blankets filled the air along with the soft grumble of rain hitting against the glass.

A thick finger glided across your puffy folds and a hiss left your mouth in return. You were unethically wet; the slick noises painting the atmosphere. His now wet fingers slithered up your stomach, and through the bridge of your chest, coated in your arousal. He plunged them into your mouth and a “hmmgh..” left your lips.

You willingly allowed the intrusion, fluttering your eyes closed and sliding your tongue around the two thick digits. Cladding them in your saliva, you bobbed your head up and down on them. “ good girl.. yea— get ‘em nice ‘n wet ‘f me..” he trailed off, everything sounding a haze as you continued to suck on his fingers. He pulled them out and ran them up your folds again, before shoving them into your hole unexpectedly.

An erotic gasp echoed through your bedroom walls, and your aching hole squeezed around his fingers, trapping them as soft moans rumbled from the midst of your throat. He continued to plunge his fingers in and out of your pussy, the slick noises and your moans fuelling his admiration. “ love those noises you make..” he breathed into your ear before licking the burning flesh, his tongue tasting the electricity beneath your blood.

You felt yourself reaching your peak when he curled his fingers just right, a bolt of heat shooting out of your lungs. “ mm.. right there..! right there ! “ feeling so surreal, his thick digits fit inside of you like a puzzle; you moaned before he ripped his fingers out, not allowing you to have your release and your orgasm. All you wanted was to paint your bedsheets white, stain them with the mix of both of your juices, all you wanted was for him to have the hottest orgasm of your life. “ wha…?” you breathed when you felt him take his fingers out of you, you felt empty, and you found yourself craving more.

He brung himself up to your lips, so close you could feel his murky hair ticking your forehead, “ not yet, doll. not until you take my cock “ he grunted before he dragged you to the edge of the bed, earning a loud gasp and you to be very confused. He leaned down, and spat a string of saliva onto your folds; the wet sticking to your skin and charging your arousal.

You felt it, it was big. He filled you up so much, you could barely breathe after he aligned himself with your hole and rammed into it without mercy. Euphoric moans from you, and vicious growls and grunts from him arose from his chest, grumbling out of his throat. Tightening his grip on your waist and sliding it down to your thighs. Hearing a man like this was beautiful. His firm grip tightened, squeezing your skin as he felt himself get deeper and deeper, until he bottomed out. Your puffy hole taking him so nice as you felt him sink inside.

He pulled your legs over his shoulders to get a better angle as he thrusted in and out of you, the bulge from his fat cock inside of your stomach visible and his cock hitting places you never knew existed inside of you. Slamming and shooting arousal to form inside of your body.

Re-arranging your insides, he deepened and quickened his pace and your nails scratching at his shoulders and his back, leaving your mark. Your skin slapping against his pelvis and his right hand paved its way to your breast; fiddling with your bra to pull it down before he leaned in to suck and flick at your nipple. As he leaned down, his cock deepened inside of you and another sharp moan existed your throat. “ do ‘ya feel how deep I am inside ‘f you? “ he was so deep and abusing your tight core. he cooed into the skin of your breast, still lapping at the hardened bud and bringing his other hand up to wrap around your throat. You could only nod as you felt his grip around your neck tighten, the feeling was so euphoric. All you wanted was to be chocked by him, to have your airways cut off by this heaven-sent man.

“ f..fuck.. so— so close..” was all you could let out as the figure inside of you bullied himself around your guts. Between sharp breathes, you could hear that he was close. “—You gonna cum for me, baby? Do it. Cum on my cock, doll. “ His mushroom tip twitching inside of you and his teeth scraping onto your skin. That nickname has never sounded sexier as he emphasised how eager he is for you to release yourself on his shaft. He leaned up, to glare at you from below as he watched your face as you painted his cock white, spilling yourself on him soaking the sheets below as he lightly slapped your cheek before holding your chin to glance at him as you release your juices onto the girth of his cock. “ that’s it, baby..”

Your jaw slacked open as the filfiest moan escaped, this had to be your best orgasm as it hit you hard. Even leaving after shocks, your body was jolting, and your breaths have never felt heavier. He wasn’t far behind as he came right inside of you, water colouring your walls with his seed as he gazed at your face when thunder struck outside the windows, a light flare of your facial features on display. And you could quite make out his piercing emerald orbs, along with his coal hair.

A pornographic groan of pleasure exited his lips and his head fell onto your neck, laying lazy kisses and inhaling your raw scent. All you could do was trace your nails on his neck, drawing small circles and shapes as he lifted you up against the headboard, laying between your things and cherishing your chest and collarbones. The soft gesture was contrasting with how he acted a few seconds ago, ruining your hole, and also with his whole Red Hood persona. This was someone different.

Your fingers lingered on the back of his neck, and slowly slithered down to his broad shoulders and you feel where you left scratches and marks. A small giggle erupting from your throat. “ what’s so funny there, doll-face ? “ he sounded so worn out, and exhausted from how he let go all inside of you. “ oh..nothing, baby,” you chuckled as you played with his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp and you could hear the soft almost purr like noises he was making, a smirk creeping onto your lips. “ you’re pretty hot.” you admit, earning an eyebrow raise from him. “ ..that so?” he breathed, unimpressed before he was tackled around, now he was laying on the bed and you were straddling him, pinning his arms beside his head by interlocking your fingers.

Normally, he would be annoyed at such a lack of dominance he holds. But he’s in such vulnerable state, coming down from his high so he just parts his lips, unable to form the snarky words he desired. “—uh oh.. cat caught your tongue?” you don’t know what has gotten into you, you could tell he was completely lost in the situation, but you were feeling more energetic and eager for a round 2. You were grinding bare skin on skin against his, stroking your clit against his lower stomach, right above his pelvis, and you could feel his dick getting hard beneath you. Snaking a long patch of your mixed juices, you leaned in to plant a warm kiss on his chest, and you traced a heart against his fragile skin.

His hips jolted lightly before a low murmur arose from his chest. “..you know how this’ll end baby.” you hummed in response. “ i could easily flip you over right now, and take you again. and again. and again. until your neighbours recognise every slap of our skin, and memorise our moans by heart. “ he growled, though it was low, it was powerful, and it was hot. You felt a not so foreign heat pool inside your stomach again, and it only encouraged you to keep going, to keep rilling him up again.

“..but you won’t.” you ordered before licking a stripe up from his neck to his throat. ironic. and a rugged moan departed from him, which made you ache to make him feel real good. You ached to do everything you imagined in Penguins office, to him. You lowered yourself, kissing above his belly button and tracing his abs with the wet of your tongue. You nestled between his thighs, pecking sweetly at his happy trail, short gasps from him.

It was surprising to know how hot it was to have so much dominance over a man like Red Hood, especially in a state like this. You continued down until you felt the hard base of his shaft, bringing your hand up to it and slowly rubbing it, and taking your lips to press a tiny kiss on the tip. “..stop playin’ games ‘w me “ he groans lightly when he feels the tease of your lips against his fragile tip; feeling impatient as you took your time to pleasure him.

He glared down at you, and although the scene was dark, he could slightly make out the way you both stared at each other before he nodded in approval. You wanted to take his whole dick into your mouth, but before that, you wanted to tease him a little. So, you took the base of his cock and stroked slow strokes before spitting down onto it, saliva rolling down and seeping into his cock and landing on his balls.

Your ears weren’t deceiving you when you heard soft moans and whimpers come out of him and you scoffed at how ironic this was, and how vulnerable he could be when getting his dick sucked; the warmth of your breath sending chills down his skin. Your hand played with the soft of his balls, massaging them as his head flew back, moulding into the pillows under him and you finally took his dick down your throat. He placed his hands upon your head, making a makeshift ponytail out of your hair before slamming your head down onto his cock and guiding you. Unable to beneath, your noise colliding with his pelvis and rough chokes left your mouth.

His cock was girthy, thick and long. Though you couldn’t properly see it, you could feel the single vein that ran along the side. He pulled your head back, landing a slap to your cheek and a tight grip on your chin while he allowed you to breathe; both of your sharp breathes ricocheted through the air. The pouring rain outside added to the chaotic harmony and you leaned down to lick a stripe along the vein of his bulging cock, earning sighs in pleasure.

Without warning, he shoved your head back down onto his cock and you bobbed your head up and down,feeling the bulge in your throat while his was chest rising and falling with each thrust of your lips. Your lips wrapped around it, sucking the soul out of his spirit as an ember of arousal burned through your eyes. Picking up the pace, you could tell he was close by the way he jolted and shuddered, stammering nothings into the room. “..that’s it— keep— keep goin’..” “jus’ take it, all ‘f it. “ whilst you choked on his girth; spit collecting at the side of your mouth and dripping onto his thighs.

You used your hands to stroke what you couldn’t reach, and he let you up for air before slamming you down again, and again, and again, until eventually the wire in him snapped and a pathetic whimper left him, you glared up, allowing him to see the mess he made inside of your mouth and on your face. All of his juices milked onto you, and you took your fingers to wipe yourself and your mouth before licking them clean with your tongue.

“..what was that about being on top, honey ?” you teased, referring to your comment earlier, and how he couldn’t handle you being on top, clearly from his pathetic moans he was unleashing when you sucked the spirit right out of him. “—Shut.. up..” he grumbled, attempting to assert but it came out shaken, the opposite of what he wanted. You chuckled in response and found yourself laying on him, and he was engulfed in your scent.

Your sweaty skins sticking together, but you sort of felt at peace. Resting your face into his neck, both of your eyes fluttered shut, and you wrapped your arms around his body, his around your waist, pulling you closer, trapping you in the erotic heat.

You two were only like this for a few minutes before he got up, leaving you on the bed glaring up at the figure who was putting his clothes back on. “ You leavin’? “ you asked in a huff, but he didn’t respond. “ Red..?”

“..yea. I think— I should go. ” his voice had a hint of reluctance as you heard the sound of clothes being put on, and his helmet shoved onto his head. “okay..” you nodded, sounding a little on edge by his sudden urge to leave, knowing you two were enemies and leaving you sitting on the bed and feeling a need to push the duvet up to cover yourself. you knew he was a busy man, but in this moment, you wanted nothing more than to hold him tight in your arms, listening to the soothing patterns of his breaths as you two fell asleep together. “.. i didn’t.. see your face if that’s what you’re worried about.” you called out as you could see the figure disappear into the shadow, opening the door and standing in the doorframe.

Your lips parted as you heard the thuds of his boots to your front door, and the slam of it closing. Shit.

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Part 3 ?? ☺️

[tumblingxelian]

Thoughts on Stephanie Brown, Crime & Community

A lot of the posts I’ve been reading lately about Bruce’s brutality towards low level criminals and whether Jason betraying his own community or not, the double standards and meta analysis has all been very interesting. 

And it has also left me musing on Stephanie Brown’s character. 

Specifically how she operates in a really fascinating position that was likely not intended by the writers but one can reach anyway. 

So a quick primer: 

Stephanie Brown came up in a low income (at best) family in Gotham. Her father was consistently in and out of prison only briefly holding down a steady job and when he was home he was violent towards both Stephanie and her mother.

Crystal was neglectful and a substance abusing addict until Stephanie was about 15 and even then their relationship was quite messy with Stephanie still forced into a parental role. 

(She also escaped sexual assault as a child and was clearly traumatized by the event and given her ‘boyfriend’ who got her pregnant looed significantly older than her one could argue she was a victim of grooming.)

Her first team up with Batgirl (long before she receives any training) Shows she has an intimate and immediate understanding of criminal operations that can only come from either self study or experience. One of her earlier team ups with Robin & the then Green Arrow (Investigating gun runners selling to kids) had her note she felt her community was neglected by the heroes. Her first team up with Batgirl also had them basically steal money that would have gone to evidence to donate it to charity and she also reveal hinted at different times a dislike or lack of faith in the police. 

Now, not everything was hunky dory, as there were some writers who basically decided her motive was “Impress Robin”. Fortunately this only cropped up every now and again and she’d often try and seek out team ups and mentors elsewhere. And given it doesn’t line up well with her initial character I am content to view it as an artifact of the writer. 

But I digress, how does this go into her relationship with her community and criminals in general? 

Well, suffice to say her relationship with them is bad. 

Her first time out as Spoiler she tries to murder her father and has to be talked down by Batman. She later reveals to Crystal she was doing this to protect her because she was tired of seeing Arthur come back and ruin their lives over and over again. She also used visitation rights when he was in prison to beat the hell out of him because he orchestrated her kidnapping and near missed murder for money, while the guards just let it happen. 

In one of her first team ups with Robin they fight criminals in a snow covered building and his cutting of support beams leads them all to be buries. Robin insists on finding him and saving him, while Stephanie suggests leaving him to die, dismissing his motives along the lines of, “I was poor, daddy never loved me, ETC.” She only agreed trying to save him was a good idea when they accidently found a homeless woman and her child also buried. 

later on she also didn’t want to save a villain who managed to kidnap both herself and Robin. We also see her shrug off the prospect of accidentally killing a serial killer she was in combat with. She also has a violent exchange with Penguin after he started using children as gun runners which hinted at wanting to wipe people like him off the map. When he was dismissive of even facing charges because “I've got people for that” she legit scared and injured him and Batgirl needed to stop her from going further. 

(She also shrugged off Dick killing Joker while everyone else was freaking out but like, come on. Joker fills literal graveyards in universe and had been terrorizing the world minutes before, he’s not a ‘normal criminals’ by any stretch.)

Overall, her relationship to criminals in general was varying degree of contemptuous and she was quite comfortable with the prospect of doling out lethal punishment to criminals, though she never got the on screen opportunity. I think her general attitude is best summed up as “yes trauma sucks but its no excuse to take it out on your community” while holding those who profit off those circumstances in utter contempt. IE, she disdains petty criminals for victimizing their fellows and she hates the kingpins who run everything. 

(Though I doubt this was intended by the writers.) 

But I digress, I’m not expert enough to say whether this is a realistic or positive response to her circumstances, but I do find it an interesting one. I also think its a lot more nuanced than Batman’s brutality even if one could argue its problematic. Though that also broached the “Are we discussing in universe or out of universe” and so on. Really not sure where I was going with this. I maybe just wanted the chance to discuss Stephanie cos I think she’s really interesting. 

So uh, yeah. 

[cebwrites]

since you wanted some uncommon character requests; could i request some sfw and nsfw relationship headcanons for penguin x reader and shachi x reader? If they're not too out of the way for you (～￣▽￣)～ I rarely see those two requested for, so I'd love to see you're take on them! [I'd ask off anon but i can't ask from a non-primary blog - I'll be reblogging to @remisloves if you wanted an identity (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)b ]

a/n: surprisingly they aren't around these parts, I've gotten quite a few requests for the boys lol - but since you asked nicely, sure <3 [thank you so much for including your blog too, it feels nice to actually put usernames to people （；´д｀）ゞ]

Relationship Headcanons (Penguin, Shachi)

gn reader, trans penguin, nsfw under the cut self-indulgence unrelated to pen and shach at the end cw; blood, funky OP-verse sex toys word count: 1.1k

Penguin

Penguin was the oldest of the original Heart Pirates quartet, he's always been the oldest even when it was just him and Shachi, before and after the tsunami that left them with Shachi's horrible, horrible relatives

It's made him protective over the people he holds dear, incredibly worrisome even if he tries to hide it, but also surprisingly nurturing for someone who seemingly goofs off as much as his counterpart does

He makes snacks, he checks up on the crew, and has a bad habit of taking too much onto himself, although not nearly as badly as the notorious Heart captain, Penguin still struggles with that "eldest sibling" mentality even if most of the crew is quite a bit older than him; he vehemently denies any teasing you or the crew give him about passing on those traits to Law

When it comes to you, Pen likes to keep a close eye on you even when things are calm and everyone's having fun, not that he doesn't trust you to take care of yourself, but he'd just like to make sure no one's getting hurt or too carried away when his crew mates' usual brand of shenanigans kick into high gear

There's a cute kind of shyness when he opens up to you for the first time; yeah agreeing to being in a relationship is one thing but it's another to actually know the person you love and with Penguin, it's tentative, almost scared, but genuine

He's hesitant to let you come too close at first, become too physical, an insecurity that you do your best to quell but it isn't easy, Pen's become used to protecting himself and his own so much that vulnerability is alien

Being topless with the guys on the Tang's deck, whacking each other on the ass with freshly laundered towels is one thing, but being intimate with his partner in a private room is another entirely

Still, you're patient with him, you don't react poorly when he gets overwhelmed at the protective layers of clothes hitting the floor, you allow him space, and eventually, maybe even agonizingly slowly, he lets you in - starting with a held pinky while Penguin catches his breath with his shirt off, his nerves getting the best of him after getting a little more handsy than usual that day

When the dam finally breaks, when he's comfortable showing himself to you in his entirety, you're surprised at how ravenous Penguin actually is - he's insatiable, betraying the composure he carries himself with throughout the day

In the bedroom, against the wall, in the communal bathroom and over the Tang's railing when everyone's asleep, hell, even in an alleyway once when the both of you had time to kill on a random island while everyone else was getting wasted, he can't keep his hands off you

Penguin loves watching you eat him out, one hand in your hair while the other shakily props himself up, but what he loves more is the view he gets when you're sucking him off

The Grand Line is.... an anomaly, neither you or Pen are here to dispute that - weird as it is, however, it's often resourceful once you can get past the initial recoil; all that to say—Penguin got his hands on seeds that, once "planted" between his vulva, allowed him to temporarily grow a fully functioning phallus

By god, Pen loves the way you look bouncing on it

He digs his nails into your waist, laps up the sweat on your skin, his grip is hard enough to bruise but you're no better, egging him on to take you after you've done such good work prepping his cock, prepping yourself for him

And really how could he say no after all that

Shachi

The MOST live in your hoodies mf to ever; he's clingy, he's affectionate, he mock-whines if you've been apart from him for too long like a pup with separation anxiety

To some degree you both know it's an act he puts on to vie for your attention, but there's also a real part of him that worries if he lets his hold on you slip a little too much, you'll disappear

I like to think Shachi's part fishman too, so there's a quiet part of him that worries his partner would leave if they found out, or couldn't handle the treatment you'd get by proxy of being so close to a fishman, even if he wasn't full-blooded - yet every day you find ways to reassure him that'll never happen

In return, he'll climb to the top of the Tang's mast to yell about how much he loves you and how perfect you are, he's a little obnoxious in the Maes Hughes "look at my adorable family" kind of way but you can forgive the mild embarrassment when he flashes his award-winning smile full of razor-sharp chompers

Shachi takes incredible pride in being the one who takes care of the Heart Pirates' hair, his little summer job on Swallow Island for the few years that he spent as a stylist really did turn into a passion for him, even if his occupation on paper is "pirate", but hey, who's keeping track anyways?

Despite his enthusiasm about most everything else, he's incredibly delicate with you initially, constantly checking in to see if you're alright, making sure boundaries aren't crossed, confirming that you are, in fact, enjoying yourself like the big shell-conchus dweeb he is, Shachi just wants to make sure you're alright

Not that he doesn't still check up on you now, he absolutely does, but now with a decent amount of shared time between you two, he's a lot less jumpy about things, more confident in his stride - or rather stroke, I should say

He's loud, peppers you in kisses all over, hell if other people can hear, Shachi needs you to know that he adores every part of you - it does result in an addition of both of your chores (takes two to tango), so whenever the sub drops anchor the both of you try to sneak off to a love hotel given the option of free roam at least once if possible

Shachi answers to you completely, he marks you up at your command and eases whenever you show the slightest discomfort; still, when you do manage to convince him to let loose, he definitely takes the phrase leaving his mark literally - with those exact teeth

He laps at the wounds he leaves as he makes love to you, smearing crimson and words of praise against your body like hymns of devotion, pulling you impossibly close and sharing your taste when you pull him in for a kiss, still trying to hold back that animal desire

The aftercare is just as tender, just as sweet, but maybe a little awkward the first time around when he has to explain to Law why he's sneaking medical supplies away while you sit in the middle of blood stained sheets like you're the victim of a murder

And a bonus for me since writing this had me thinking about it-

I know Law goes down on their man like a champ; inexperienced initially? Yes, but they learn quickly and spite from being teased is a good motivator as any, plus, pleasing their partner, of course

Kirin's got his dick out? Not a problem, they're making him beg for it, the E, As, and T on their fingers might not see the light for hours, not until they're satisfied with edging Kirin until he cries

The only one who beats them at that is Zoro but realistically, no one's topping the King of Cock, not unless Zoro finds it in his heart to not power-bottom Sanji for the night

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Heart Killers episode 3!!!! Woot woot!!!

Well hello there Pepper... rocking the sexy glasses look, I see.

And JJ! Wait...what is happening?! Did they just have a moment?

Ok, I did suspect this was Mother.

Well this is quite the loaded line...

Because 1) it's telling us that Bison believes he is killing "bad" people, but with the double meaning that 2) he is also being naive about Mother herself, not to mention 3) the deception that is happening with Kant and Style. Layers baby!

I am getting the vibe that Fadel does actually have an idea of how dangerous Mother is, and that may be part of why he's such a hardass.

Also Parn looks frickin' gorgeous in that pantsuit. Rock it, lady!

Not Pepper wanting to murder people too, lol. Interesting career advancement path at this company.

Not the leopard print!!

For the predator seeking his prey, lolol. Costume designers, I love you.

Oh we know, Fadel. We all watched it last week.

Ok, this has to be on purpose.

Lol, Fadel's face. He is so thinking dirty thoughts.

A heavy metal concert where you can hold a conversation? This is requiring the largest suspension of disbelief so far.

Show, please don't murder me in the first 10 minutes.

Agreed Style, Fadel looks hella sexy tonight.

Always with the naked except for the socks with this boy.

I could watch First and Khaotung flirt endlessly.

Lol, add another bitey boy to the list!

Not the titty squeeze! Style!

Ha, Fadel, we all know you're lyyyyyiiiing.

Literally every line from Style at this point!

There's actually some cleverness in this too, as we know that Fadel is thinking of Style sexually, so that the fact that Style's dialogue has ramped up the innuendo is a way to also make the audience more keyed in to Fadel's inner struggle.

That Auntie is the most patient woman alive. Style must have really sold her a sweet love story.

The sign is clearly just a way for Dunk to show off his arms some more, and I am here for it. Also the burger outfit and the cow pants, I'm dying.

Style literally being the center of a sandwich because Fadel wants to consume him... this is wild.

Ahhhh, the lap-sitting!!

Going straight from sweet to spicy!

Considering he hasn't been in a relationship before, Bison is doing pretty good with communicating his needs.

Haha, Fadel is gonna break, y'all!

Fadel, he's not gonna guess assassin! No one would guess assassin!

Heh, I don't think Bison is used to people being like, "hey, slap me now!". He may like sadism, but he's still a soft squishy boy in a lot of ways.

I've seen some people complain about sound in this show, but my only complaint is why are the burger-chewing noises always so loud?!

Ohhh, Fadel thought someone else was going to help him once, and he was let down... oh my poor baby.

Penguin for the safe word? Is Kant watching Caged Again too?

Omg, it does describe Junior (and also Bison, I know)

Did y'all, ever in your life, think you'd be sitting and watching Khaotung nipple clamp First? I sure didn't!

On noooooo! Worst family member walk-in moment ever!

Fadel threatening Kant should not be this hot.

Perfect description for Joong's face

Lol, Bison nailing it with the "this woman doesn't like cuties" prediction.

Omg, don't tell me this is the one time Style is actually going to find Fadel by accident.

Also, not that I'm not loving the Fadel dancing, but when and where did he pick up this skillset?!

I...am officially deceased. This man has finished me.

Also love that Style is getting a little taste of his own medicine back.

Dude, the implication that not only does Fadel watch Magic Mike, but practices the dancing in his free time!!!

Hehe, you can totally see the "mark me down as scared and horny!" in Style.

Kant, this would be a good time to tell your best friend the truth.

I don't know if this was just at translation thing, but doesn't Kant saying he just needs to get into their house and then they can stop make his story about wanting to date Bison kinda sus?

Oh nooooo, not the tragic love backstory!

I don't know if getting you both plastered is the best strategy, Kant.

I want to be mad at Style for invading a support group, but his story is making me laugh, dammit.

But also, Fadel, if you did murder him, I would understand.

Oh Style, you are so in trouble.

Fadel has a lot more practice closing himself off emotionally, Style is not ready for this.

These brothers - I just have to laugh that Fadel practiced stripper moves, and Bison had his BDSM gear already set up in his room, despite the fact they had no reason to think anything would happen with any of it. These poor horny boys.

Also - kiddos, please practice BDSM safely! Don't just do it based on what you see in movies & tv!

First is doing a really good job at playing drunk, horny, and scared.

Hmm, Fadel, what are we up to?

This show is so unhinged, and so damn fun.

[midnighmoonligh]

Oc Agere Head Canon's

❀•°•═════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═════•°•❀

Characters included...

AJ

Alpha

Alexandrite

Cathrinus

Colton

Elicia

Elio

Jun-Seo

❀•°•═════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═════•°•❀

A/N

I got bored and made a HC list for my oc's because I can ✨. Do not repost, steal, or copy these characters as they are designed by me. Images are not owned by me though!

AJ

Big age 20, Little age 2-8

Non-binary, AFAB, They/Them

Human, Time Traveler

Babysitter is Hayden, no CG

Not in a relationship

Regresses as a symptom of DPD

Comfort item is a pink blanket & a bee pillow pet

They're a sleepy little, loves to take naps and sleep

Super cuddly and clingy. They get jealous easy

They're shy and sensitive, doesn't take much to make them anxious or cry

Has a bad habit of chewing on their fingers

Doesn't usually need a CG. Being alone most their life they've learn to adapt being on their own. They would like to have one, of course, but they do know how to care for themselves

Alpha

Big age 17, Little age 1-4

Demi-male, AMAB, He/They/It

Human (MHA OC)

Caregiver is Zena (bsf)

Not in a relationship

Regresses as a symptom of OSSD

Doesn't have a comfort item

He is generally well behaved, usually crying though

Sensitive, not hard to make him cry

They rarely listen to system caregivers

He isn't aware that he regresses, but doesn't stop himself from doing it

Big on superheroes

Mina is his favorite pro-hero

Loves playing pretend hero's

Doesn't need a CG. He technically had two CGs, often being cared for by system members who like him. However since he fronts as much as he does, he wants to have one

Alexandrite

Big age 34, Little age 1-4

Male, AMAB, He/Him

Human

Caregiver is Darian & Ares

Regresses when very ill

Dating Ares & Dare, married to Ivy. Has a daughter (Jennifer), a step daughter (Fern), and an infant son

Comfort item is a two headed teddy bear named Timmy and Tom

Finds it funny when Ivy, when she's regressed, copies him when he is

Loves when Ivy cries with him, makes him feel heard

He's an outgoing little, enjoys doing things even when he is sick

May be outgoing, but he is really anxious about being around others. He tends to shut down

Needs a CG, since he regresses when he's really sick he needs someone to help remind him to take care of himself. Plus, he gets lonely

Cathrinus

Big age 40, Little age 2-5

Male, AMAB, He/Him

Human

Caregiver is Arden

Is a Caregiver to Ophelia

Regresses to cope with religious trauma

Engaged to Arden and has an adoptive daughter

Comfort item is a penguin called David

When regressed, he's a little sibling to Ophelia

Takes Age Dreaming a little literally. He usually regresses as he's falling asleep

He's a flip, a caregiver and a regressor

He mainly impure regresses, as most his triggers are negative

Really flinchy when he's regressed

It's difficult to get him to do much of anything, most the time he's just sitting there zoned out

Needs a CG, but won't admit it. He's difficult to be a CG for since he'll just sit there and zone out instead of letting himself be taken care of. He's stubborn about taking care of himself

Colton

Big age 19, Little age 1-4

Male, AMAB, He/Him

Human

Caregiver is Victor and Roman

Regresses to cope with Anxiety

Not in a relationship

Comfort item is Victor

Ophelia and Victor are his best friends, Roman is his oldest brother

Has lots of play dates with Ophelia, she often acts like a big sibling

She always convinces him into her chaotic plans

Loves Adventure Time & Bluey

Needs pull ups / Diapers, often has accidents in his sleep

Loves playing video games, his favorite is the Animal Crossing games

He's very sweet when regressed and also clingy, especially to Victor

He's very new to regression and the community!

He's a gaming streamer, but he does have a secret account for his regression

Does need a CG, since he regresses so young. He also emotionally leans on a CG heavily. If they're upset, he'll be upset and so on

Elicia

Big age 29, Little age 5-10

FTM, He/Him

Vampire

Doesn't have a CG

Not in a relationship

Doesn't have a particular reason to regress

Comfort item is a pink blanket he named Janet

Its hard to tell when he regresses, since he has a childish personality

He's very bubbly and outgoing, loves being around others

Favorite game is knights and dragons

Loves exploring, it's easy to loose him if you don't keep a close eye on him

Huge sweet tooth, will tackle someone for a piece of candy

Forts, a huge fan of building large and wonderful forts

Doesn't need a CG, often looks after other regressors when he's regressed as a big sibling

Elio

Big age 21, Pet Regresses to a Puppy

Male, AMAB, He/It

Werewolf (CoD OC)

Doesn't have a CG

In a relationship with Soap

No reason for Regression

Comfort item is a chew toy Ghost got him for Christmas

Best friend's with Twyla (they're pen pals!)

Super playful and happy. It doesn't take much to get this pup into hyper mode

Great with other regressors, super patient

He's protective over age regressors and loves playing with other pet regressors. He's very gentle when playing with both

Loves chewing on anything and everything

Almost always regressed

Doesn't know about regressors at all

Super protective of little Ghost

Favorite game is fetch or tracking

Generally well behaved, but has his moments

Doesn't need a CG, nor does he want one. He can handle himself just fine and other's don't even notice that he regresses

Jun-Seo

Big age 42, Little age 2-4 and pet regresses to a puppy

Demi-male, FTM, He/They

Human (MHA OC)

Caregiver is Dean and Sara

Not in a relationship, but has a crush on Dean

Regresses to cope with DA trauma

Comfort item is his first pacifier, it has a cute little dog bone on it

He has a son (Alpha) and a daughter (Beta)

He works as a pro-hero and always brings Alpha gifts from work

He loves chewing on things, it's often a big fight to get him to stop or to get the item away

He's playful and chaotic, loves to run around and cause trouble

Loves playing Princesses and Dragon's as well as family (or mom & dad)

Favorite movie is Brave

Zommies for days, so hyper

He's shy around new people, will hide behind his CG/s

Does need a CG because of the amount of trouble he'll get himself into

[owlcafe]

His s3 is definitely the go-to buff target - if nothing else it's the only thing he hasnt had buffed yet, and double buffs are still basically non-existent - Emiya and Vlad were both special cases. Shy of giving him Morgan-style split batteries with another 20% on s3 to make him loopable, there's lots he could do to lean into the slow-burn playstyle. The big ones, imo:

- Extend one or both of the s3 steroids. A slowplay Servant with a one-turn nuke skill makes even less sense now than it did in year 1

- Add NP gain up or crit up to it. Juna doesn't really have star supply issues, and he likes to have a Merlin around to supply even more with Garden stacks, so he crits pretty easily. I personally would prefer lower-value, higher-uptime, like Penguin Melt's S1, so he can reliably have it live. Something like 30% crit for 5 turns, or 20% NP gain up for 5 turns, would be entirely reasonable given the state of the game, and increases Juna's consistency game, which is where he's strongest. NP gain would be my preference here - my normal choice for Juna is a Merlin/Castoria support core, so even a lil extra NP gain mixed in with good crit consistency and one Castoria's worth of buffs will turn his Arts cards into crazy genners, and old-school NP spam playstyles from a Servant with an underwhelming OC effect are wonderful in Merlin/Castoria shells, since they both love to go later in the NP chain and boost their own OC

- Give him some baked-in offensive utility, like a pierce invuln or defence. Another good choice would be to borrow from Barghest - let him strip buffs on attack for some kind of benefit. He's already packed to the teeth with defensive utility, short of actual hard defence, being basically debuff immune and healing off chip damage handily, so a bit of extra offensive utility, which supports usually struggle more to provide, would help him lock in turns he might otherwise be gimped on - like if the enemy chooses to pop an invuln on an NP turn. If you want to lean into his defensive capabilities, a taunt wouldn't be bad either, to soak up damage from Sabers or Riders (the first to exploit his own defensive properties, and the second to prevent the enemy from exploiting the weaknesses of the Caster supports he likes to bring with him). Taunts also create massive extra value to 1-turn targetable defences, like Castoria's s3 or the invuln on the Atlas MC.

I'm not super knowledgeable about Arjuna's lore beyond FGO so I'm not sure what would be most sensible from that perspective, but from a viability perspective these would all help him out a lot at doing the things he's already good at better.

As far as scoring recognition from the broader community, unfortunately Arjuna has lost that fight forever. Slowplay options no longer exist because Castoria/Himiko shells beat them all, and they only keep getting more tech options (Bhima is an *excellent* point player for the shell, for instance), he'll never be a primo farmer cause the Archer class is *stacked* beyond belief for Koyan/Oberon farming and blitz clearing. So there's not really a new niche they could give him that would work out. From that perspective, a taunt is probably the best play, basically turning him into a situational 5* Arash who can nuke away a break bar, eat a revenge NP and then spin in a new buffer.

TL;DR he's literally already fine, but there's lots of ways he could be made better at what he does. It's just that the way Servants tend be to reviewed and analysed systematically disadvantage the things that he's good at since the general perception is that slowplay is a solved game.

If you can give Arjuna any buff that doesn't include np charge in any way, what would it be?

this is a mean question bc i suck at meta stuff :p

hm...probably a buff to either his third skill or his np though. making the third skill 3 turns or not only provide a steroid to his buster cards alone would be nice, and even just switching the defense down on his np to proc before the actual damage would also be nice. ideally i'd like them to completely retool his np so it hits more (and maybe is arts) but it would probably be more realistic to just wish for them to release a second archer arjuna at this point lmao ;-;

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Captured (The Riddler x Reader)

It was a warm summer evening in Gotham and you had been informed of many screens having been set up and covered in green paint. Batman had no doubt it was the Riddler. Although he wasn't the only one to be plotting as so was Two-Face, Scarecrow, Penguin, Joker and Harley. Batman was certain he had to contain the Joker first as he was the most dangerous and reckless. He'd blow himself up for a joke if he wanted to. The others were keeping an eye out for any sign of the other rogues whilst you were out looking for the clues of the Riddler's plan and whereabouts. 

You touched the illuminant green upon the sides of the screens. The paint was dry, they had been there for some time. Beyond that, they looked like ordinary screens. It was what they were connected to was the question. You tapped at the screen though didn't expect anything to happen. After all, these weren't touch screens and furthermore very old looking screens. "Leave it alone." The Riddler's voice rang out as he appeared on the screen. "Oh hey, Ed!" You greeted. "What you doing with all of these?" "Solve my riddles and perhaps you'll be able to figure it out." He replied smoothly. You slumped slightly. The Riddler’s riddles got tedious very quickly. Almost like doing them were a punishment. "Don't pout." "Wait you can see me!?" You grinned in satisfaction, moving closer to the screen. "Of course, I can! It takes nothing to insert a camera into a screen." The Riddler scoffed. Before he could begin his tangent you blew him a kiss. He paused. "Did you just-" "Bye!" You grinned with a wave before you made your way down to the street below. 

A few moments later, your coms started acting up, a static-like interference. You crinkled your nose just about to check on them when a familiar voice rang out. "Do not walk away when I speak to you, you dull-headed moron!" "Awww Ed, you interrupted my song!" You 'whined' with a smirk. "Yes, I bested your communication syst- wait what?" "Bud, this is a private line and I was listening to the best crime fighting song!" "You listen to music whilst you strut around Gotham?" You could hear the confusion in his voice. "Okay, I take offence. I don't 'strut'." You huffed playfully. "Enough of this! Just-" "Eddie, you know I'm the worst one for your little riddle things." "Don't call me that." The Riddler snapped. "Also they aren't 'little' they are of the highest prowess of intellect! Not that the likes of you would understand." He continued coldly. "So give me pity points and just tell me?" You tried. He let out a cruel laugh and you slumped slightly, hoping it would work. "No cheating! I'll know if you do." You paused, tempted by the idea of Google or simply asking for help. Edward Nygma would be furious and deem you a cheat. Or you could turn the conversation out of his control. "Ed?" You asked. "Stop calling me that." He warned. "Was is it now? My instructions were clear even for the dumbest primitive minds." "Are you wearing a suit?" You tilted your head, narrowing your gaze at nothing in particular. "What does that matter?" He asked incredulously. "C'mon humour me! Are you wearing the green suit?" The Riddler sighed. "Of course, I am." The Riddler said crisply. You grinned. "Immediately much more convinced to try these riddle's. I love seeing you in the suit. You're so handsome." He let out a charming laugh. "Oh, your attempts of seduction will not get you the answers you need." You raised an eyebrow with a pleased grin. "But it is working right?" Before Edward could respond you spoke up. "Actually big brain of Gotham, help me decide what I'm having for dinner tomorrow night. I thought about macaroni and cheese but I also have-" "Are you seriously asking me about what you should eat?" He seemed confused and mildly offended. "Great big brain, figured you could give me some of that wisdom. I really shouldn't get take out again. Basically there's stuff in my fridge I really should eat before they go bad but I really want macaroni and cheese." There was a long pause. Edward seemed stunned. "A fish has more attention span than you!" He finally yelled out. "I think you like that challenge, Ed." You smirked. There was another moment of silence. "Perhaps...goodbye, little vigilante." You could hear the slight smile in his voice before the line cut off. 

It wasn’t long after that before Batman contacted you to meet him in an office building and that he’d be on the fifth floor. You swung into the open window landing in a couched position at Batman's side. "So the Riddler is extremely touchy about the riddles and stuff."  "I will deal with the Riddler. I will check this floor and work my way down. You head upstairs and check the floors above. Two-Face and Penguin are here for certain." You nodded with a small salute. "You got it boss."  You hurried to the stairwell, missing a couple of stairs between every step. 

You opened the door to see a narrow corridor with glass divided offices. However what made you freeze was the sound that indicated you very much were not alone. You crept up to the source before ducking quickly behind a cubicle. It was Harley Quinn. If she was here, chances were that Joker wasn't far behind. Or rather she wasn't far behind him. Harley pressed on the wall before her and hummed before kneeling down. Before her was a box, a jack-in-the-box. She began to wind it up, turning as she did so with a tiny giggle. You knew those very well, it made things explode. "Nope!" You yelled and and threw a batarang at her hands. There was a sound of metal connecting and she dropped the box, immediately inspecting her aching fingers. "Ow!" She turned to look at you. "That hurt!" "No blowing up walls!" You responded. "You ain't Bats! I'm supposed to bring him here, not you!" Harley huffed. "I'm gonna try not to be offended." You said warily. You knew you had to talk her down or at least distract her enough. "Harley, what are we doing?" You sighed. "It's late. I'm tired, aren't you tired? Why don't we just get a drink or something and call it a night?" Harley pondered your offer. "Sounds fun! First we'll kill Bat-brain and then we can go for a drink...can Ivy come?" "Wait, no Harley, how about you just don't do that first part and come with me now?" You asked. "Nah!" Harley deadpanned and took off running. "Harley!" You took off after her. 

You followed her into the next room only to find her gone without a trace. Suddenly you felt a solid kick to the back, knocking you to the ground. Harley made another turn over the light fixture by her hands, explaining her sudden disappearance before landing on her feet. She posed like a gymnast would after a flip. Then she took off out the door. You scrambled to a stand and ran after her down the long narrow hall. 

Once you caught up to her at the opposite stairwell, you jumped forward wrapping your legs around her middle and threw your whole body weight back. With a screech, Harley lost balance and fell back with you. Harley swung her head back into your nose hard, forcing you to break your hold just enough to get up. Before you could too, she swiftly kicked you in the ribs making you groan and she hopped over you and headed upstairs. However it didn't keep you down for long, you were trained for that after all. Although it seemed to be just enough time to get away as Harley was long gone. 

Silence met you on the next floor. The lights were off on this floor leaving only the night sky as a light source. You checked each room, nothing. You got through three quarters of the rooms before you finally found someone. "Well well, if it ain't baby bat." You turned to the corner of the room as a tall figure emerged from the darkness. You heard the clink of his coin hitting his nail. A tiny glint of light reflecting off the coin as he flicked it into the air and caught it with the same hand, over and over again. "Two-Face..." You uttered. In his other hand is a gun. His finger resting on the trigger. He seemed almost relaxed and he sauntered forward. You heard the click of a gun behind you and you turned to see Penguin also emerge from the darkness, gun aimed at you. You turned your attention to him. "Don't do this, Cobblepot." Oswald only chuckled and something hit you hard making you fall to the ground. It wasn't enough to knock you unconscious but it was more than enough to make you dizzy. The room tripled as did Oswald who moved closer as the room seemed to spin. Two rough hands grabbed your arms, moving you into a position. You barely had time to process it was Two-Face as he hauled you over his shoulder. "Now, now, don't struggle." Penguin said with a chuckle at your pitiful attempt to wriggle. 

You had next to no warning of what was coming than a very identifying cackle of glee. Two-Face threw you off of his shoulder like one would a sack of potatoes but before you could do anything, you were hauled up by long scrawny fingers. That was when you met Joker eye to eye and his menacing grin. "Ah! The newest addition! I've not gotten to see you yet, my dear!" Joker cackled. "Forgive me, Bats! I need to get acquainted with this one!" He said to absolutely no one. Your head was roughly shoved back. "Let's see who you are, hm?" The Joker cackled. "Come here...come here..." The Joker chanted under his breath as he pulled at the skin tight mask. No matter how you turned your head, it only aided him so your only option was to freeze. That didn't help much though. Unable to do anything the mask was ripped away from your face. "There you are." He grinned maniacally, looking into your eyes. "Oh you're a pretty little thing, aren't you?" Joker stepped away, revealing your face to the other rogues. They practically drank in your face as they finally saw one of the bats under the mask. Most seemed almost pleased whilst others simply stared at you. 

The Joker yanked your head back towards him. "Now where's good ol' Batsy?" With a 'twang' the sound of metal hit the crate inches from your head. The Joker looked at it, as did you, to find it was a bit of metal chased like a bat. A batarang. "Let them go." Batman said icily as he emerged from the entrance. "Sure! Whatever you say, Bats!" The Joker cackled before throwing you towards him. You steadied yourself before looking to Batman for any kind of sign of a plan. He offered nothing. "Either of you move even an inch and they get a bullet." Oswald ordered as Two-Face raised his gun. "We're wasting time, let's get this done!" Edward huffed slightly. "Just shoot him and be done with it!" "No, wait!" Your eyes widened as you stepped in front of Batman and a sudden 'bang!' rang through everyone’s ears. 

The force of the shot knocked you down to the ground. You felt the pain stretch across your shoulder and chest. For all you knew you were shot in the chest. It all happened to fast to know for sure. "What kind of shot is that!?" The Riddler yelled out. "The Batman not the sidekick!" "They moved!" Two-Face ground out.  You knew if you stayed that you were going to die. You crawled as best as you could, dragging your heavy limbs as best you could manage. Your vision was blurred and the night didn't help. It was hard to breathe. You barely heard your own sharp shallow breaths as you crawled for your life. A shadow loomed over you. You turned to see the Riddler, Edward Nygma, walking behind you. He followed you silently, staring down at you with a look of guilt, sadness. You had to be seeing things. You and Edward might have flirted many times when he and the other rogues were running rampant in Gotham but you didn't think he was the one for sentiment. Unless he hovered above you to finish you off.The thought made you want to crawl away, you already lost so much time by looking behind you. Silently Edward took a step forward as you crawled forward. Then your limbs got too heavy. In fact, you were losing consciousness. Crawling was no longer an option as you rolled onto your back with a wince of pain, a silent scream. The Riddler bent down on one knee. "P-Please..." You whispered breathlessly. He quietly hushed you. "Don't talk." "Don't let me...die." You begged. The Riddler shook his head. "I won't let you die." He assured you. You had expected him to laugh in your face, laugh with smug victory and gloat. The Riddler leaned forward pressing two fingers to your neck above your pulse point. "Stay with me. Don't fall asleep." You barely heard him but he was asking you for something you had no control over. Of that you knew. 

Suddenly someone moved up behind him. You recognised the mask. "It appears Batman left the little sidekick to die." The mask created a sinister chuckle. This was it. You really were going to die. The Riddler's head moved to the Scarecrow before you heard. "What?" Then you heard nothing at all. Scarecrow did a double take on you, looking between you and the Riddler. The Riddler made a quick motion with his arm that you couldn't make out and Scarecrow reached out to your face. That was when you lost consciousness. 

"Remind me why we're doing this again?" "Don't look at me. It's what Edward wanted." "He better start explaining." Your eyes fluttered open but couldn't focus. Your surroundings were nothing but white lights. You weren't certain what they were. Nor could you make out a source for the talking you just heard. Your eyes shut once more. 

This time you regained consciousness to nothing but a low hum from lights. It was silent. You cracked your eyes open before immediately wincing, white light immediately attacking your eyes. You rolled onto your side before slowly standing up despite the hot pain you felt immediately. "I feel like I just got jumped by Bane." You groaned out. You slowly doubled over in attempt to soothe your aching stomach muscles but instead were forced to straighten as the muscles in your back weren't fond of the idea. "You shouldn't be standing up so soon." Jonathan Crane looked at you. "You should know that." You sent Jonathan a deadpan expression. "Like you care." You looked around to see he wasn't alone. Two-Face, Riddler and the Penguin stood not to far from one another. Seeing Two-Face made you look down to your chest as though expecting to see an open wound. It was tightly bandaged. There was a slight spot of blood but nothing that seemed too serious. "We removed the bullet." Edward Nygma said before you could ask. "No, we didn't." Jonathan chided. "I did." Edward rolled his eyes. "What? Why...why would you help me?" You asked. "I got you in the shoulder." It was Harvey's turn to roll his eyes. "I reckoned you got another bullet to the head." Oswald said menacingly. "Yeah, sure. None of that explains the why." You replied flatly. "Ask him." Oswald nodded to the Riddler. "Whatever his reason, it was enough to persuade Crane." "It doesn't matter why!" The Riddler cut Oswald off. "It is no one's business!" "Regardless, I'm not hearing any gratitude." Jonathan said icily. You exhaled, silent for a moment. "Thank you for the help." You replied. "Cut the sound." Oswald grumbled. "Fed up with their voice already." There was a loud tick and you didn't get anymore answers.

You weren't sure how long had passed but after what felt like a long time of being alone, you had a visitor. He was alone and he seemed hesitant, calculating every move. Edward pressed a button that made a clunking sound in your cell but nothing was different. Until Edward pulled the door open and closed it behind him, standing in the cell with you. "Are you going to give me answers or are you here to gloat?" You asked. Edward let out a short laugh before sitting on the desk beside him. "You were much more approachable before you were shot." "I wasn't being held hostage either." You fired back. He looked around the cell. "It's actually quite nice. Arkham's cells are worse. In fact, I'd argue this is the nicest cell I've ever witnessed in Gotham." "Cool. Want to swap then?" You asked. He smirked. "There you are. Thought I'd lost your humour." "Is that why I'm here? Entertainment?" You asked. Edward shook his head. "Of course not." "What do you want from me?" You deadpanned. "You guys think using you will get me to talk?" The Riddler tilted his head before crossing one leg over the other. "Riddle me this: What I want, the poor have, the rich need, and if you eat it you'll die." He asked without bravado. It seemed sincere. You searched his eyes for any kind of trick before slowly responding. "Nothing." "Then you have your answer." He said smoothly. "Then why keep me here?" You pressed. "Because it keeps you alive. Left to anyone else and you'd be dead right now." He paused, hesitated, but seemed to dismiss the thought that came to mind as he returned your gaze. 

It seemed that Edward and Jonathan would be supervising you on this particular day of captivity. You opted to stand in the middle of the cell, arms folded. The two rogues didn't say much of anything to each other and it didn't look like they needed to. Whatever they were working on, they were in sync. Suddenly the door behind them opened and someone new entered the room. The white mask is what you saw first, then the long red dreadlocks for hair. Finally the outfit resembling a jester. "What do you want?" The Riddler narrowed his eyes on him as the two rogues watched him move to the room that just so happened to have the controls of your cell. "Nothing you can give me, that's for sure." The masked person taunted. His gaze ran past you and suddenly he was very familiar. Just as you opened your mouth, he did a double take on you. "Well I'll be damned. I didn't recognise you without the mask!" You could hear the grin behind his mask. "Don't touch the controls!" Jonathan ordered coldly. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I won't." The masked man drawled moving his whole body in a way that reminded you of an eyeroll. He moved into the office and grabbed what looked like a case. "Rag doll?" You asked, searching the furthest parts of your mind. You recognised him but it had been so long. Three years if you recalled correctly. "That's me!" The jester like masked man sang. He re-emerged swinging the case around casually. "I know that I know your name." You said quickly. "Give me a minute. I know it, I can do this. You were one of the firsts I captured with Batman." "Ah yes, the little bat in training. I had hope for you. You weren't like the other ones." "I get that a lot." You responded. "I got a lot of shit from Batman too for being too nice and informal." "That's the best part about you!" Ragdoll exclaimed. "Plus you got me my ointment." "You remember that!?" You grinned with a tone of surprise. "Of course! You think the other bats would have done that!? They just want to beat you up and play hero." You nodded. "We do like our fights." You smiled mischievously. Ragdoll turned his head towards the other two Rogues. "This one is an absolute angel! I couldn't even be mad that I was caught." "I know." The Riddler said icily, narrowing his gaze on him. "Peter!" You cried out as his name finally came back to you."Cannot remember your last name but it's Peter right?" "Mmhmm..." Peter sounded pleased behind his mask as he nodded. "Do I get to know yours?" "No." You chuckled. "That's the one thing you guys don't get to know. Think I don't know you'll rob me almost immediately?" Peter laughed, he didn't even try to deny that. "So did the Bat consider the crime in hiding such a pretty face? From where I'm standing it's one of the worst crimes one could commit." Edward looked to Jonathan with annoyance. Jonathan rolled his eyes with a shake of his head before returning to what he was doing in the computer. "Nah, wasn't wanted." You replied, stepping closer as Ragdoll moved towards your cell. "Joker ripped off my mask and Two-Face shot me." You explained. Ragdoll looked you up and down. "Well that's not too bad! It could have been worse. Besides...the rest of us are certainly benefitting." You felt yourself blush. "Alright, that's enough. You're voice is grating!" Edward snapped. "You got what you needed, now leave!" Ragdoll sighed, flopping slightly just as he did before. "Alright, alright. I'm going." Ragdoll turned back to you. "I hope I see you again sometime soon...preferably without the mask." He giggled as Edward protested again, this time louder. You waved at Ragdoll as he moved towards the exit. He muttered something about Edward and Jonathan being terrible at sharing. Once he was gone, Edward stormed into the office seemingly rifling through papers. You looked at Jonathan with confusion. "Green not just in clothing but with jealousy." He grinned. The grin made you uneasy. Jonathan grinning was a sight you rarely saw and it was usually never for anything good. "Shut up!" Edward roared making you jump. 

You eventually grew more accustomed to the rogues. They seemed a bit more human. Then again, you were seeing them on a daily basis for hours. Although there was improvement as Cobblepot didn't seem to want you dead anymore. Well, at least he didn't bring up killing you every five minutes. That could be considered improvement couldn't it? Although you didn't anticipate Harley heading your cell, alone, with a grin. "Hey sugar! Guess what! You 'n' me? We're going on a trip! I need your help finding something of Crane's. You'll help won't cha!?" If only she had given much more detail to what you two would actually be doing. 

"Harley, we can't be in here, Scarecrow will makes wish we were dead and then kill us!" You whispered hurriedly. "Pah! Been there, done that! Get in here!" Harley dragged you in. "Start huntin' honey!" "What am I even looking for!?" You asked with exasperation. "Orange goopy stuff, ideally in a test tube." Harley shot back. Jonathan's apartment was frighteningly clean. You expected it to be a mess, covered with evil villain plans and unintelligible scribbles you couldn't understand. Yet it was spotless. Cleaner than you could have ever hoped to be. Maybe it was true that serial killers were frighteningly clean. Meanwhile, Harley poured milk into her bowl of cereal before heading to the brown leather couch that had definitely seen better days. She took a big mouthful, chewing a few times before grimacing. She didn’t even swallow and instead spat out the contents. "Yuck! It's stale!" With a scrunched nose, she tossed the bowl over her head. It landed on the floor behind the couch. The sound of the bowl breaking upon impact of the hardwood floor had you running out of Jonathan's bedroom. "What are you doing!?" You asked, eyes wide before your eyes noticed a growing puddle of milk. You moved further into the room before gasping. "What did you do that for!? We're supposed to be sneaky!" "Sneaky!? Pfft. I plan on telling him his locks are shit when we get back." "Wait we're telling him about this!?" "Ha yeah!" Harley grinned widely, already excited by the thought alone. 

Harley practically skipped back to the large room containing your cell, dragging you along with one hooked arm, the other holding the vials of chemicals. "Lookie what I got!?" Harley called and a perplexed Scarecrow and Riddler turned, relieved when they saw you. "Did they escape!?" Riddler demanded. "Escape...?" Harley looked at you before it dawned upon her. "Nah! I took 'em with me and got these." She grinned holding out the vials. Before Edward could lecture Harley Jonathan cut him off. "Are those my fear toxin!?" Jonathan demanded icily. "Duh! Jervis said he wanted some, you said you didn't have it so I went into your apartment and took the vigilante out for a walk whilst I was at it!" "I wouldn't give him any regardless! You showed the vigilante where I live!?" "Dude...it's not really a big secret. I know where most of you live. Comes with the territory." You said. "What does Jervis want with fear toxin?" Edward asked suddenly distracted from his primary concern. "I don't know and I don't care." Jonathan replied icily. "Harley, you and I will need to have a private conversation. Now." Harley whined let Jonathan grab her and drag her out the room much like she had previous done to you. 

You blinked as Edward sighed. "Wait, Jervis like Jervis Tetch?" Your eyes widened. Edward hummed with a nod. You barely held back the groan and Edward turned his head in questioning. "Please tell me he isn't here." You spoke. Edward scoffed. "Of course not. It is very few times that I do see him. Why?" "Because he creeps me out." Edward froze before turning his full body to face you. "You're scared of Jervis Tetch?" He asked with a look of disbelief. You nodded. "Out of everyone, he's the one that scares you?" He looked at you like you had just kicked a puppy before his very eyes. Offended and shocked. "I'm much more intimidating than he could ever be." He huffed, turning his back to you. "Yeah but you're not creepy. Extreme but not creepy. You're like the good weird and he's the weird weird." You noticed his silence. "Hey, that's a good thing y'know. That's a compliment." "I am Batman's greatest nemesis and the worst thing you could describe me as is a 'good weird'? Like I'm just a quirky criminal?" You sighed. "No. There's a reason why you're known more than most of Gotham's criminals. Besides, more can be said about you than me. You're smart-" "I'm a genius of the highest caliber." Edward muttered sourly. "-and creative. You're resourceful and driven. Resilient." You finished. "I am Batman's one of many sidekicks...was...was his sidekick." You trailed off. The Riddler suddenly huffed out a laugh. You narrowed your eyes on him and that was when he turned to face you once more. "You are a mystery." Edward began. "I'll admit you're amusing. Versatile-a force to be reckoned with. After all, I found you worthy enough of my time. I wasn't completely disappointed if I gained your attention rather than Batman's." It was strange compliment but you chose to take it as one. Edward Nygma only gave himself the highest of praises. The fact that he gave you one at all spoke volumes. He even said so himself. "You were a pain in the ass to fight though." You cracked a smile. "All those damn Riddles and challenges. You knew I couldn't figure most of them out." "I also knew when you tried to cheat." He smiled smugly. "You even dropped the worst hints you knew still didn't make sense." You huffed. "That's your problem. I don't give hints. You're the first." Edward seemed to enjoy the exchange. "At least I get that title." You shot back. "Made me want to punch you though." "I know." Edward grinned. "Although, you never actually did." "I'd feel guilty if I ruined that pretty face of yours." You smirked. "Flattery will get you everywhere, dear." He replied. "Ah, so I should have told Batman to give you some compliments and then you'd comply?" You raised an eyebrow. Edward chuckled "No. Flattery will only get you everywhere." You felt the blush in your cheeks before breaking away. The Riddler always seemed to get the last word with you. 

Now that you had been in captivity for a good amount of time and no one had come looking for you, Edward couldn't help but wonder what the next stage was. It was Edward who has kept you alive the entire time but now that he had, the time called for the next stage. Although what was that exactly? Edward was rather content keeping you there with them where you could heal and he'd be able to check on you. However the idea of keeping you in a transparent container wasn't exactly a permanent fix. It threw him into a loop of questions as he was unable to decide what really to do that had only followed him back home. 

"Edward Nygma." Upon pure instinct, he turned and threw the first heavy thing in sight. He heard it hit skin as he turned to see you holding the heavy metal cylinder inches from your face. "Ooft. You're jumpy. Someone a little stressed when they don't control everything?" "What in the hell are you doing here?" Edward asked is disbelief, his mouth agape. You lightly shrugged. "Enjoying the fresh air." "How did you even get in!?" Edward was sure there wasn't a broken window or lock. You shrugged again. "You left your windows unlocked." The response only invited more questions. "I live on the fifth floor, no one is climbing through my windows." Edward said incredulously and you grinned, pointing at yourself. Finally you acknowledged the metal cylinder in your hand. "You could have hurt with me that." You tossed it back to him and he caught it with ease. "That was the intent. I didn't know it was you- why are you here!?" He asked again incredulously. "You know for super smart super villains, you guys forgot to feed me. I waited eighteen hours." "You were sleeping for twelve." Edward shot back. "Painful really. Imagine not having anything to eat for all those hours and then wait another six?" You nodded towards the kitchen. "I helped myself with a ready meal." "You what?" Edward briskly moved to the kitchen to find his microwave was on. That was when he realised he had just left you unattended. He hurried back in to see you looking around the room and peering into his bedroom. "Y'know I thought the obsession with green was a Riddler thing for the aesthetic and gimmick but this is a little concerning that all of your rooms are green." "Shut up! You can't be here!" Edward dismissed your previous comment. Suddenly, there was a ding! Your eyes lit up. "That's my food ready!" You hurried past him into the kitchen. 

Edward stood in a stunned silence, unable to really believe what was happening before him. You had somehow escaped, found where he lived, climbed five stories to get through his window and had helped yourself to his food whilst he was gone. All the while, you were supposed to be back in the glass chamber. Edward was torn, wondering if he should call Jonathan or, quite frankly, anyone to really take in that the prisoner was no longer a prisoner but an uninvited guest in his home. "Nygma!? Why do you only have plastic forks!? This doesn't count as cutlery!" Edward didn't respond, he was still at a complete loss for any kind of words. "Edward, you're so cute when you're flustered." You grinned before shoveling another fork full into your mouth. "Shut up. This isn't happening. Not like this!" Edward said with disbelief. "But you did picture me in your apartment?" You smirked. "Don't make me drag you back to that room myself by your neck." Edward glowered. "Listen, I went to your place because I trust you and figured if anyone is going to have my back it's you." A smile grew on your face. "Looks like all that flirting paid off, Nygma." Edward sighed squeezing the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "I can't go home. You know who I am. I've been in your apartment for three hours and haven't contacted anyone. I've only ate some food and judged your lack of cutlery and judged what's clearly a fixation on the colour green.I think I've earned the trust to be out of that glass cell." You said matter of factly. There was a moment of silence as Edward seemed to give in. Not to mention mentally prepare for the calls he’d have to make since you weren’t in that cell anymore. Meanwhile you seemed distracted by something else. "I'm never going to see you that flustered ever again, am I?" You asked seemingly dismayed. "Not a chance." Edward shot back. 

"We need to pull over and get snacks!" You declared surging forward from the backseat. "No, we don't." Jonathan said stoically whilst Two-Face's protest was a lot more colourful. However you were determined. "We have to, it's right there! Two-Face- you two shot me, if you do this then we're even and you're forgiven." Silence was met. "Harvey!" You exclaimed. Harvey sighed as he began to drive somewhere to park the car. You let out a maniacal laugh of victory. 

One night, Edward took you to abandoned offices but wouldn't tell you why. He insisted that you asked no questions but just hurried along. You couldn't help but notice these abandoned offices hadn't been abandoned very long ago considering how clean the place still was. The Riddler pulled out a laptop and began to type furiously.  You walked around Edward looking at his screen. It was missing person profiles and he seemed to be rifling through them. "Please tell me you don't know those people." You grimaced. "I don't." He replied. "We came all this way for a Internet search?" "Something like that." You sighed at his lackluster response and looked around the room. 

After a few minutes, Edward seemed on edge and ready to leave...quickly. You looked out the window, the only light emitting from the outside city, colours of red, orange, pinks and blues upon your face. However it wasn't the city that broke your heart that night. You caught sight of the Batman, Bruce, moving from one building to the other with his grapple. "We should hurry." Edward said quickly and moved towards the door but quickly noticed you weren't behind him. "Hey...come on, we don't have a lot of-" Edward cut himself off seeing the tear run down your cheek. "What is it?" "What has the Batman been doing?" You asked steadily. "Same as always be a general nuisance dressed like a bat and handing people into the GCPD. Why?" Edward said as he moved closer. His answer seemed to bring a new wave of tears to the surface as you pressed your hands against the window. "I saw him." Tears welled in your eyes. "Is that what he's been doing all this time?" You asked incredulously. "Did he even look for me?" Your hands shook against the glass. "We need to go." Edward said quickly and tugged at the hand on the glass. "Wasn't I enough!?" You span on your heel to face him. "Wasn't I important enough for him to look!?" You asked hurriedly, tears ran down your face.  For once the Riddler looked at a loss for words. You looked broken. As though your whole life had come crashing down upon you and perhaps it had. "I can sneak up on you or be right in front of you without you knowing. But when I reveal myself you will never be the same. What am I?" He asked quietly. You slowly shook your head as a sob escaped you. "Betrayal." He replied. "I don't have the answer to that. You're important enough to me. That's why we need to go right now. We can handle this later, okay?"He didn't wait for an answer as Edward dragged you out of the room. 

In the car ride back, Oswald and Edward seemed to stare you down. Meanwhile you stared at your lap, the tear stains having since dried. You were eerily quiet and clearly heart broken. The two nearly jumped when you broke the silence. "Edward?" You asked, not tearing your gaze from your lap. Edward hummed quietly, inspecting you for any movement. "Did he look for me at all?" You asked. After a few moments of silence, he responded. "I don't know. It doesn't seem so." To your surprise, Edward changed the course as Oswald revealed you were going back to your cell. "No, I'll take them with me." He said making you look up. Oswald gave him a look, challenging Edward to push his patience. However Edward only stared him down icily. Oswald seemed to be the first to cave as he ordered the driver to turn around. 

Edward stared at you. He wasn't sure just what he was waiting for. Maybe an outburst? Tears? Regardless he leaned against the arch from the far side of the room beside the kitchen. His arms crossed and waited for you to do or say something. After a few minutes of silence, he heard your voice. "Edward?" You asked softly. "Hm?" He hummed in reply. "Can I ask you something?" Your voice was barely above a whisper. "Yes." He moved across the room, closer to you. "You didn't want me knowing what happened after I was shot." You began. "I didn't think it important at the time nor did I think you'd be prepared for it." He responded. "Don't do that. Don't talk like you care about how I feel." Edward said nothing at first, seemingly looking you over before his own questions came to mind. "Why are you so defensive? I thought you and I got on well given the circumstances." It was a tease, you knew that. "Yeah, but...it wasn't a reason to spare my life." "Wasn't it?" Edward tilted his head. "I don't want you dead. If anyone, I'd want the Batman to die. Maybe his other pesky little minions but not you."

A few days passed. Despite your recoil, the two of you maintained being civil. A lot went unsaid and it hung in the air. Ironically, what wasn't said was so loud in the silence that it couldn't be ignored or forgotten. The only options were acknowledgement or hide from it. Edward was used to the silence in his apartment... until you came along. Now it was a little unsettling. The silence put him on edge because he knew something was wrong. He couldn't manage working not whilst your silence chipped away at him. Eventually he couldn't bare it. He leaned against the wall as he caught sight of you sitting by the window watching the rain as it ran down the window. It was pouring, ironically fitting to the mood.  "Can I talk to you about something?" You spoke up. Edward hummed with a nod before moving to sit before you upon the windowseat with you. "I know it might not have seemed like it but..." You began. "I really wanted Batman's approval. I worked so hard to be just as good as the others...kind of like a sibling rivalry." You smiled sadly. "I always wanted to hear that I made him proud. You've probably figured he's not that type of guy and you're right about that. I just wanted to be enough for him." Tears brimmed your eyes. "Seeing him earlier, he's not looking for me." Your jaw quivered. "In the end, I wasn't enough for him to even look. This whole time I was waiting for him and he isn't coming." A tear ran down your cheek. Edward said nothing at first, his expression unreadable. "Then I can only deduct that he is as blind as he is stupid." The Riddler said. "There are many like him who don't have the brain to see what's truly in front of them. There are even bigger idiots who don't even realise what they've lost when it's gone." "I'm really sorry, Eddie." You said quietly. "This whole time I've been holding onto something, all the while I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you." You said softly. "I also put you there." He replied. "Regardless, I made the choice to go and ever since you've basically taken care of me. So I thank you for that and I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused." You cracked a smile. "Not to mention how I just put all of this on you without any warning." He hummed in amusement. "It's nothing. I know how it feels." You seemed surprised by the response. "You do?" You asked and he nodded with a sigh. "I always enjoyed puzzles, since I could remember nothing made me happier." You gave him your full attention. He continued. "They were a distraction. My mother was an absent parent until she simply got up and left one day without explanation. My father..." Edward grimaced like he had a bad taste in his mouth, eyes lit up with anger. "My father was a worthless nobody right up to the day he died. As kids we're encouraged to focus on education, that it would take us places higher than we could dream and I wanted that. I didn't want to live in that infested shit hole even then never mind now." He swallowed. "So I worked hard, I was always academically gifted and that was my weapon back then against the world. My father on the other hand relied upon alcohol and used their bottles as weapons...even against his own son." Your eyebrows raised in disbelief. "He was so insistent that I was cheating. He couldn't believe for even a moment that his son was nothing short of a genius so with every test, I got perfect A's and my reward was to be beaten - everytime I brought those results home because I was a cheat!" He grew heated at the memories. "I'll tell you one thing, I never cheat. I have never cheated! I am too intelligent to need to cheat!" That explained a lot. To Edward, nothing was worse than a cheat. It was the only time you ever saw him truly livid. Yet now you knew why. His father was why. Parents were supposed to praise their children with good grades and for Edward, it was used against him. "I understand completely what it feels like to be ignored. I know what it is to want to please someone who cannot be pleased, I learned that at a very young age. When I got older, I decided my father wasn't worth my time. He wasn't worth the air he breathed." Edward ground out before he looked to you. "It's what I see in you. Batman is not worth your time. If he was, he'd have tipped this city upside down until he knew where you were. Be done with him. Everything becomes clearer when you do." Edward rethought his words with a soft huff of laughter. "I've never spoken about that before." He said quietly and steadily before meeting your gaze. "I never told anyone. Not until now." "I won't tell anyone." You said quietly before offering your pinky to him."Want me to pinky promise?" You offered and he exhaled through another laugh. "I believe you." He responded. "Can i ask a kind of weird question?" You asked and he hesitantly nodded, wary that anything could come out of your mouth. "Can I give you a hug?" You asked as your voice cracked, reminding him that you had been upset. Yet you seemed to be more upset now. He nodded uncertainly. It wasn't everyday he was hugged, especially by a crime-fighting vigilante. Yet you didn't seem hesitant at all when you hugged him, like you were hugging an old friend. "I'm so sorry, Edward. You deserve so much better than that." That last sentence changed his perspective completely. He knew that you understood because he did deserve better, that was the whole point and so did you. Edward wrapped his arms around you. 

You knew Edward was a work-a-holic. However to really see it close and personally actually made it concerning. He barely slept and was constantly scribbling furiously or pondering complicated equations that you couldn't read. They were scattered in notebooks and whiteboards, black boards, you were certain he wasn't far from writing on the walls and ceiling. It wouldn't be the first time after all.  You heard his phone vibrate on the table beside you. Edward couldn't be further away from it. "Hey, Crane's texting you." "I know. I'm ignoring him." Edward didn't so much as turn to reply but his response didn't skip a beat. "Why? Trouble in paradise?" Edward rolled his eyes with a scoff. "I'm busy with more important things than he could ever be."  "What are you doing?" You asked him. "Using someone's WiFi." He replied. "For what?" You pressed. "Don't worry about it.” You eyed another notification. "He wants to know when you'll be ready." You informed Edward who scoffed again. "He can wait until I'm good and ready. You cannot rush a genius!" "Okay, gimme. I'll text him." You plucked his phone from the desk. "I'll tell him that we'll meet him at the lounge." "You won't do anything stupid tonight will you vigilante?" Edward grumbled. "I think I can handle you and your friends, Nygma." You teased. "You couldn't handle me if I came with instructions." Edward replied smoothly. "Oh yeah? I can show you how well I can handle you, Nygma." "Stop it." He warned but you knew him well enough to know he didn't really mean it. Especially since you were pretty certain you had gotten the Riddler blushing. "Now isn't the time to distract me." Pitiful excuse. You snorted. "Oh? Tell me how distracting I am." "No, you know damn well you little tease." He responded. 

Later that night, Jonathan put a hand on Edward's shoulder, leaning in. "Never let the vigilante near your phone again and never give them my number." Edward paused from bringing his drink to his lips. "What?" You asked. "I only texted you that we'd meet you here. I didn't even send kisses or emoji's like a human!" Jonathan raised an eyebrow as he stared you down. "No, you sent me words without punctuation and so many spelling errors that it is shameful. I was a professor and a psychiatrist. Someone in this shit hole spent precious time to teach your lazy ass the English language and you offend that individual and myself as a educator with your pitiful attempt at communication." "Okay-" Edward began but Jonathan cut him off. "I'm not done and the vigilante asked." Jonathan said flatly. He returned his attention back to you and the group. "You sent me 'C U at the lounge l8r' The letter 'C' does not equal the word 'See'. The word 'you' starts with a 'y' not a 'u' and doesn't require a capital. It's supposed to be the second word in a coherent sentence. You did well with the next three words, correct spacing and spelling. Although that is what a ten year old should be able to accomplish so I can't give you a mark for that. Now pay attention because this is where things go very wrong." You sent the group a side glance but none seemed to be willing to assist. "'later' does not have a number in it." "Ah, I see. The symbolic type would take the concept of time within later and flip that eight into an infinity symbol, therefore leaving infinite time between the 'L' and the 'R'." You agreed, your tone dripped in sarcasm. Both Jonathan and Edward stared you down, neither amused by the comment. "Now, you have sent that pathetic excuse of a message to me without a full stop. Do you intend on finishing this sentence because if so your pause calls for an ellipsis." Jonathan’s drawls became boring very quickly, so much so that you weren’t sure how anyone could sit in his classes. Although you were certain that you would get him back. You’d make him eat his words if you had to. 

You felt a shoulder lean against yours. Edward leaned into you. "Penny for your thoughts?" "So Crane spoke to me like I was a five year old." You leaned closer to him to be heard. "Mhmm." He nodded with amusement. "A thing Jonathan and I have in common." You hummed before kicking your legs over his. "Gimme your phone." You said as you reached for your own phone. He sighed before digging into his jacket pocket, handing you his phone and rest his arm on the back of the booth. You immediately went into his contacts before typing on your own phone. Edward's head bumped against yours slightly as he watched you. "Why are you after Jonathan's number?" Edward asked. "Watch and learn my handsome friend. Watch and learn." You said smoothly. He began to read your message. "You need to get eggplant emoji, hand signal emoji, three drops emoji. I don’t think Jonathan needs a wet eggplant, dear." Edward crinkled his nose. "It's not a eggplant.. think more symbolism with modern slang." There was a small pause. "So is that-" "Yup." You said quickly. "Which means the eggplant-" "Oh yeah." You grinned and you felt his chest bob up and down against your arm, laughing. "Put a translation after that, correct punctuation. It'll drive him mad." Edward said. You looked at him. "You really are a genius." You typed for a couple of minutes before leaning towards him, showing the result. 'Dear Dr Jonathan Crane. Upon observation, it could be determined that you are in need, as the youth may say, 'to get laid'. Your libido may thank you. Long story short, get a girlfriend or boyfriend who will tolerate you for more than three seconds. Good luck with that xx' 

Whether it was a lack of trust, no one to babysit or this was a test, they began to actually take you places with them less like dragging the captive along. You weren’t complaining. It was the closest thing you had to freedom in weeks. Seemingly the Rogues were meeting up in the Iceberg Lounge and Two-Face was distracted by something upon his phone. The Riddler bit his lip, trying not to laugh as you wildly failed, dancing to the music directly behind Two-Face and the man had no idea. When Oswald saw what Edward was looking at, he let out a booming laugh. As the night continued, the more you seemed to really relax. Harley pulled you into her as the two of you sang your hearts out, barely audible over the music. 'I'd stand up and punch their mouth! Coz they're all wrong and that last kiss! I'll cherish! Until we meet again!' "What is happening here?" Oswald looked at the two of your quizzically. Joker cackled. Meanwhile, Jonathan, Edward and Harvey could only stare with slight disbelief. That was a sight they never thought they’d see. 

Edward brought it up the moment he got you alone. Edward leaned down slightly to be heard. You leaned up to him. "You appear to be having a good time!" You nodded whilst lip syncing the song playing. 'You're out of touch, I'm out of time! But I'm out of my head when you're not around!' You wrapped your arms around his neck. "I am!" Then you continued with the song, making him sway slightly with you. Edward said nothing but a small smile was upon his face. His own arms were around your waist. Neither of you thought anything of it. However the other rogues noticed almost immediately. You were mid conversation with Harley and Ivy when your phone rang. You answered it and after a moment you blinked. "...Okay, can you put Jonathan on the phone, please?" You asked. "Yeah, Jonathan. Thanks, Ed." The moment you heard Jonathan's voice you smiled slightly. "Alright can you translate what Edward just said in dumbed down words?" There was a pause. "Well why couldn't he just say that!?" You cried out before you let out a huff. "Fine. I'll do that." You hung up your phone. "What did he say?" Harley asked. "Ed wants me to cut the power to his hideout." You rolled your eyes. "Of course he said it in academic gibberish so Jonathan translated." Ivy rolled her eyes as Harley looked at you with amusement. 

You were running a few minutes late meeting Edward but you couldn't help but notice how quiet the building was. Usually you just had to follow the sound of bravado or annoyance but this time was eerily quiet. It had you on edge by the time you got to the third floor. That's when you heard faint talking down the hall. As you walked down the hall you could make out a very irate Edward. You heard Edward's voice behind the closed door ahead of you but before you could open it, your wrist was grabbed and you were pulled into the next room. 

You met eyes with the culprit to see familiar bright red dreadlocks and a white mask without features or expression. "Peter?" You began but he cut you off. "I wouldn't go in there if I were you." "Why?" You asked. "Because Eddie is not very happy right now and it involves you." "Me? What did I do now?" You groaned. He shrugged. "Joker is on the phone and apparently he said something that would tick our green friend off." The voices in the next room grew louder. Peter turned towards a glass cabinet taking out two glasses and handing you one before pressing it against the wall and pressing his ear against the glass. You copied him and suddenly Edward's voice was much more clear. 

"Oh I think I can." Edward replied coldly. "Out of respect for the friendship the vigilante has with Harley, I will give you only one warning. Stay away from them." Edward said icily. "If you don't, I'll ensure that will be your last laugh and then spend the rest of my days ensuring that the city of Gotham, even Batman won't remember just who Joker was." There was a moment of silence before a fist pounded into the table. "You get too worked up, Edward. You know the Joker lives for such reactions." You heard Jonathan say cooly. "He might not give a damn about Harley but he will not even think of raising a finger that will affect the vigilante." Edward snapped. "It's clear that you care but that might only make him all the more interested." "I'm not afraid of the Joker!" Edward said loudly. "If he wants a fight, he'll get one!" "Enough." Jonathan drawled. "You've made your point." You pulled away, not wanting to intrude on their privacy but Peter continued to listen on. Edward let out a frustrated sigh. "I understand your predicament." Jonathan walked around the table to Edward's side. "In a world that has deemed you the wrong and the villain, all you want is to be loved. A mother who never stuck around and a father you ultimately wished had just left. Neither there to give you the love you so desperately want." "Shut up, Crane." Edward warned with a clenched jaw but Jonathan didn't. He continued. "The vigilante offers you that. Actually, let me rephrase: you need to be loved, Edward." Edward quietly scoffed at Jonathan's words but the crack of his voice, lump in his throat and eyes beginning to water was enough to say otherwise. In attempt to hide it, Edward kept his head down but Jonathan knew. He always knew. Edward cleared his throat. "Then you understand why." He ground out. "Of course. I never said that I thought you were wrong. Your heart is in the right place but your head is struggling Edward. Prod at the wrong time and person and I fear you'll only put a beacon of attention upon them." Jonathan paused. "If it comes to it, I'll pull some strings. Keep the wandering eye...distracted."  The conversation was cut short as you opened the door. 

"Hey." You greeted them with a half smile and nod. Edward looked away quickly. "What's wrong?" You asked looking in-between them. "Nothing." Jonathan replied as Edward suddenly looked up. "Let's head back home now. You're here and I still only have one key." Edward dug into his pocket, dangling his keys in front of you and steering you with him. "Okay, but everything's okay?" You asked Edward. "Everything's fine." He assured you. Jonathan spared you a nod as you stole a glance at him. He seemed to cover for Edward in a heartbeat. 

The walk home was somewhat off as Edward seemed very distracted and seemed to be holding back. "You're making me worry now." You sent him a smile. "You know you can tell me if something is bothering you." "Correction: something was bothering me until I fixed it. Its hardly worth thinking about. Much like Joker himself." "Ah, so this is about the Joker?" You already knew that but played along. "I've just about had enough of his nonsense." He replied curtly. "Haven't we all?" You nudged him with your elbow with a smile. "It's taken care of right?" Edward nodded. "Then chin up. You know the more you pout, the more I melt." You smiled. He cracked a smile at that as the conversation fizzled out. 

The silence had you thinking about everything. From the very moment you met Edward Nygma until now. With what you had overheard. You couldn't help but let your mind run in circles. Something didn't add up. Jonathan had said to Edward about his need to be loved, the flirting, the night at the iceberg lounge, when he told you about his past. You certain something was missing. It was only when you put yourself in Edward's shoes did you have an inkling of why he'd have saved you that night and his insistence on protecting you now. The two of you had just gotten home but you were more distracted than he was. "Twice." You mumbled. "What?" "You protected me that night and you didn't have to. You still do. I've haven't seen you do that for anyone. It wasn't like you." Edward stayed quiet as you continued. "Edward..." You slowly turned your head to look at him. A realisation coming to your mind. "...why did you want me alive so badly?" There was a moment of silence before he reluctantly spoke. "I cannot be bought, but I can be stolen with one glance. I'm worthless to one but priceless to two. What am I?" You didn't know. Nothing came to mind. "I don't know." You admitted quietly. "Do you remember what you said when we first met?" He asked. You did. 

It was nightfall and you were hunting down the Riddler and the Penguin. Batman chased down Cobblepot whilst you chased Edward. You had cornered Edward on a rooftop and Edward was just about to make a snarky comment of the usual vigilante gloating about being locked away and how justice prevailed. Yet you didn't. You completely caught him off guard. "So is it love at first sight or will I keep stopping by?" You grinned. He had mistaken it for smugness but he was taken aback by the shameless flirt. He was certain Batman did not teach you that. Love at first sight. A heart stolen by a glance. Edward had thought that to have been a one off. Yet when he saw you again, it happened again. "Nice suit. I like a guy in a suit. Did you get all dressed up for my benefit because I am benefitting." That grin, you were so confident and Edward hated how caught off guard you had him. He quickly sputtered out how his clothes were of his caliber for he is the Riddler, the smartest man in Gotham. You didn't argue with him on that. Nor did you make any remark condescending him. It became a thing, Edward got used to your advances and even returned some of his own. Sure, it was playful but you couldn't deny you found Edward to be very handsome and furthermore, very difficult to dislike. 

You knew how you felt for a while but could never imagine that he'd return the feelings. So with the answer coming to your mind, you stiffened. "Love?" You whispered. Edward said nothing but turned his body to fully face you. "It's silly." Edward said flatly. "Why?" You pressed. "How can I care for someone and I don't even know their name?" He asked. His words stunned you into silence. Everything in you told you that would be a terrible risk to take. Yet perhaps the middle ground is that you knew his name. You knew where he lived. You knew what he did. You let out a breath, before moving forward. Edward just about towered over you as you looked up to meet his gaze you put your hands upon his shoulder and hesitantly leaned close to his ear. You whispered a name. Something that meant very little to you as it was so frequent but for Edward it was very important. A release from the constant wonder. He thought maybe your face would have been enough but it wasn't. You leaned back, meeting his gaze. "I just told you my name." Edward swallowed. "Why? Why would you tell me now?" He asked quietly. "Because I know yours and...I trust you. I trust you with my name." 

You tried to push your luck by distracting Edward. He worked too much and this particular night was your lucky night as you convinced him not only to stay home but to not work at all. The two of you sat on the couch, beers in hand and occupied yourself watching a variety of horror movies and critiquing the protagonists stupidity in such dire situations. Edward went that much further in pointing out the flaws in the antagonists traps and plans. He spoke like it was no surprise some would fail. He did speak like it was a surprise if the antagonists won but deemed it purely down to the stupidity of the protagonists. "I'll need to get your take on these old day-time movies." You said with a smile. "And turn my brilliant brain to mush?" He scoffed. "That would be a very slow death." You chuckled. "Not to worry, I'm super picky about my movies." "I will worry until I know your preferences. For all I know your picky and your taste is horrendous." You let out a laugh. "Fair enough." You took another drink. "Alright, say you had to watch a horrifically cheesy rom-com with me or any of the others, who would you pick?" You asked. Edward groaned rolling his head back. "It's between you, Jonathan and Oswald." He grumbled and you fist pumped. "Top three baby." The Riddler rolled his eyes. "Any other time I'd say Oswald but I don't think he'd help the already painful situation but watching such weak minded attempts at entertainment. Jonathan would suck the life out of it just as he does everything else." Edward hummed, sucking his teeth. "You. You would balance out the pros of both of them. Even if only you would be the Mastermind to such a ridiculous torture." He finished and you giggled. "You want torture, I can do you one better. Rom-coms with Jervis Tetch." You smiled into your beer bottle, taking another drink as Edward groaned, his head falling back. "Don't even suggest such a thing. If you want overly enthusiastic individuals to watch such garbage with, he's the one you're looking for. He's a few brain cells away from believing them to be real." You turned to Edward. "Wow. He's really that far out of reality?" You said, eyes wide. "That's on his good days." Edward nodded. "Yikes. I feel bad for him." "Don't. He certainly doesn't." Edward shrugged. "Well, you and me for the rom-coms. We sound like quite the dream team." You paused. "Don't tell Robin or Nightwing I said that. It will upset them and you will lose at least five hours of your day." Edward rolled his eyes. "They just wouldn't understand, would they little Vigilante?" He sighed with a small smile. "No one ever does, honey." You agreed, playing along. "Even when we're on opposing sides, I can't bring myself to hit that pretty face of yours." You squished his cheeks and he sent you a playful look of confusion as he pulled his face free. "It wouldn't be near as entertaining without you. That I will admit." He agreed. "Did you miss me when I wasn't there to get you and it was only Batman?" You elbowed him lightly. Edward hummed. "I never noticed your absence, dear." "That is a bold faced lie, Edward Nygma. I won't tolerate these fabrications." You shook your head before taking another drink. "I got more peace and quiet before the beatings." Edward answered. "Although I will admit I did miss your games. You made it all the more interesting." "And you made it more difficult knowing I'm shit at riddles." You giggled. "No, you're better than you like to admit. You could figure some of the easier ones just fine if you used your brain and didn't reach for Google." He said smoothly before taking a drink. "But I can't be bothered." You whined. "That's the problem." Edward replied. "Maybe it's what you need before you start a Riddle Cult or something." You huffed. Edward hummed in amusement before looking at you. "There has always been a mutual sentiment that no one around us can understand but us." The Riddler nodded carefully with a small smile. "I really wish that I could hate you." You said quietly. The two of you should despise each other. There should be little to no loving feelings between a hero and a villain. Yet for you and Edward, it seemed like there was nothing but love and appreciation for the other. 

One evening, Edward had texted you an address, telling you to meet him there. You complied and called him when you had arrived. Yet as he answered the phone, it was clear things were not going well. You heard things go south quickly on the phone. "Shit! He's here!" You heard Two-Face in the background. "Edward, what's going on?" You asked. "We're still in the building!" Edward said hurriedly. "The Bat is looking for us!" "Harley get down! He'll see you!" You heard Jonathan snap. "I'm just across the street.” You said as you crossed the road and into the high-rise building. "The roof right?" "Yes...what are you doing?" Edward asked. "You need a quick getaway and I need answers." You said before hanging up the phone. "No!" Edward loudly protested. "We have to go and get them!" Jonathan caught his wrist."No, they're giving us this chance, we should take it!" "We'll stick close but we gotta get out of here." Two-Face said. Harley nodded in agreement. Eventually you came into sight for the rogues. 

"Hey." You said making Batman turn, you saw his eyes widen as he barely contained how taken aback he was. "You're...you're here." "Yeah...I am." You replied. "You seem almost surprised." "I am. Where have you been? How did-" You cut Batman off quickly. "You didn't look for me, did you?" Your voice trembled slightly. "I thought you were dead." Batman admitted. He had always had a hard time after Jason was gone. You knew that but he was so quick to leave you and leave you there of all places. You nodded, tears brimming your eyes."Did you ever think of me?" You asked him. Your eyes held the fear you clearly had of the answer. "Come back with me." Batman said firmly. You shook your head. "No...no it's too late for that." You turned your back to him and began to walk away, your arms crossed. You swallowed back the tears. You had hoped that was enough time for the rogues to escape because it was all you could stomach. 

You walked as quickly as you could and didn't look back even when you heard a call from behind you. It didn't sound like the Batman but you couldn't slow down for anyone. "Where they hell are they going!?" Penguin huffed at Edward. It was Harley who began running after you. She caught up to you quickly and caught your wrist, forcing you to look at her. She noticed your tear filled eyes, the tears threatening to fall at any moment as you tried to stifle back your sobs. Harley didn't say a word as she gave you a sympathetic look before pulling you into a hug. "Let's head back, hm?" Harley asked and you nodded against her shoulder. Harley took your hand in hers before calling back to the other rogues. "Well don't just stand there bozo's! Let's go already!" Harley held your hand tightly in hers before walking with you down the street. "You okay?" She asked. "No." You admitted quietly. "Wanna talk about it?" "Not really." You replied. She squeezed your hand in reassurance. 

Once you got home, Edward was quick to give you hell for risking yourself for him and the others so suddenly. Then he demanded to know what happened between you and Batman and you told him. "He wants you back!?" Edward burst out with laughter. Although Edward couldn’t help but notice you thinking about it and that frightened him. You had doubts. "(Y/N)?" He asked. His confidence faltering at your silence. He looked at your expression and your inability to meet his eyes. "You can't be serious." He began. "You're honestly considering going back there!?" "I don't know!" You admitted. "It's not really an easy decision." "It is actually, if you look at the facts. He left you- I didn't!" "I was shot!" You argued back. "You helped arrange the ambush!" "The ambush was for the bat, not you!" Edward snapped. "It doesn't matter! You knew someone would get hurt!" You insisted. "Then where has he been all this time!?" Edward asked. "Whilst you were locked in a cell, whilst you were here with me, he wasn't! You think he couldn't find you if he wanted to!?" You swallowed back tears. "You'd honestly go with him?" Edward said to himself almost in disbelief as his expression turned from anger to fear. "We were happy..." Edward sounded almost broken, like with every passing second his heart was breaking. He moved his hand as though to reach out to you before he hesitated. "We were, weren't we?" His voice cracked. For once, Edward looked uncertain, almost frightened that if he said one wrong word that you'd run off.  "He thought I was dead." You whispered. "I'm not going anywhere with anyone. I just...need time to think and really figure out what to do." You hoped Edward really heard your words. You weren't ready to let him go but at the same time, what did that mean for you? Could you turn your back on Gotham? "I don't know what to do just...give me time." Edward's expression was unreadable as he blankly stared at you before he stormed out of the room. 

The next night you were sitting on one of Gotham's many rooftops with Harley. "So Ed's being a ass lately. So angry." Harley crinkled her nose. "Is he like that with you too?" You shook your head. "No. He barely looks at me. I upset him." "Hm? What did ya do?" Harley asked. You told her of your encounter with Batman and explained your feelings along with Edward's reaction. Edward made you happy you’d have to throw away your life to be with him. It wasn't the right thing for Gotham and perhaps maybe not even for yourself reputation wise. However, Edward and the impact he had on you couldn't be ignored. Especially now that your trust with Batman was broken. On top of that the rogues had seen your face so there was no hiding. Batman seemed to be a chapter of your life that had come to an end rather unexpectedly. You couldn’t be the vigilante you previously were and you couldn't trust that Batman wouldn't abandon you so quickly. Dead or alive. Harley listened intently before making her conclusion. "He isn't enough anymore. That happens. So ditch him. Don't waste time waiting for someone who isn't worth the effort." Harley said simply. There was a moment of silence as you recognised the hypocrisy in her words. After a moment, Harley spoke again quietly, meeting your eyes with her own. "You and I both know what it's like to be in a relationship with someone who can't be counted on." Harley smiled almost sadly. You stared at her. Many assumed that Harley was either stupid or just that crazy to stay with the Joker. All assumptions maintained that Harley hadn't pieced together just how unhealthy her relationship was. That she was clueless to how badly the Joker treated her. Now that she was confronting it, you noticed that you had thought the same. "You know?" You said quietly. "I know." She said quietly, sadness in her eyes despite her smile. "Then...why?" You asked softly. "Because I love him...because he's all I have." It wasn't a particularly grand reason but you couldn't fault her. Many in the world would tolerate and do terrible things for those that they love. "The way I see it," Harley continued."you're options are to do what society things is the right thing and play hero where no one really cares about you. You're expected to run around after us and be B-man's little lapdog. Break Eddie's heart who really knows you and the rest of us who have stuck by you as a person, not the mask you wear. Or you can come with us, be with the one who loves you most and live for yourself. No expectations, not right or wrong." Harley interlocked her fingers with yours. "Come with us. It's obvious you're happier with us. I don't think I've seen Edward love anyone or anything the way that he loves you." Harley squeezed. "It's okay to love him. No one would do any different." You sighed quietly. "If I take that step forward with him, there is no turning back. I will be an accomplice to everything he does and I can't control him. I'll risk paying consequences for his actions." "Don't we all?" Harley tilted her head. "I know Ed, he'll keep you out of it. If he didn't, it means losing you and honey, that man has a death grip on you." Harley cracked a smile looking down at the city below with a hum of amusement. "I'd say that means you have more power over him than anyone. How many do you think Eddie just gives an option to leave- even if it breaks his heart?" For someone who was deemed insane, Harley spoke a lot of sense. Then again, it only reinforced that she stood by the decision she made with Joker even if she recognised for her safety- it was a bad one. Although Edward and the Joker were completely incomparable. Joker was arguably more reckless than Ed could ever be.  “You make him happy.” Harley told you. “Eddie hasn’t had a lot of happiness in his life but you make him happy. Choose what would make you happy- no one else. No matter what you choose. You’ll do it loved.” Harley softly reassured you before brushing away a single tear ran down your face. She smiled slightly and you hummed.  “Want to hear something weird?” You asked quietly.  “Sure.” She smiled.  “I think you’re my best friend.” You admitted. Harley grinned almost mischievously. “Better be, hun, because you’re my best friend too.” 

One thing had become clear. Edward did care about you and whilst he wasn't happy about your indecision. He seemed to respect it enough to not force you into anything. As much as he'd like to, of that you knew. As did you, to some extent. It would be so much easier if he forced your decision. To hate him for taking away the choice yet Edward wasn't thinking about himself. He was thinking about you. He loved you enough to let you go if he had to. Even if it hurt him. Yet with everyday passing it had become more difficult to imagine a life without him in it. You knew your life would be different now no matter what but he had become something permanent to you. The person who reeled you back in as you spiraled with uncertainty. He helped you find your bearings and was never too far behind to catch you if you fell. You simply could not be without Edward Nygma. 

So as you looked at his grin of amusement as he looked down the street ahead. You found the decision rather easy. You recalled how you were keeping him waiting, keeping him hanging on the possibility that you could have loved him in return and in that moment you knew you did. You were completely in love. He didn't notice how your steps began to slow as the realisation hit you heavily. It consumed you and you knew what you had to do. Although time was limited. 

You grabbed Edward's wrist and tugged him into a secluded alley with a giggle. Edward practically spun on his heel, dragged forward with a look of surprise but amusement still evident upon his face. You felt your heart start to pound in your chest. Slightly breathless as you knew what you were going to do. Your fingers slipped into his hand as you tugged him closer to you, meeting him half way before kissing his lips. It was soft and short, just in case he wasn't comfortable. You had the inclination as he stiffened. He scrutinised you, his eyes shifting to your lips as though searching for deception. Yet there was none. A small smile graced his features as he returned an experimental kiss of his own. You chased his lips before he could lean back, continuing the kiss. Edward lost himself in the kiss, forgetting almost everything. He wrapped his arms around you and you did the same. The only thing that was important was the feeling of your lips on his and the sensation just made him crave more and more. Meanwhile, you hoped that Edward understood what the kiss meant. His answer that he had waited for. He kissed you like he was committing the feeling of your lips to memory. Every little movement, he clung to you. After all, he might never get this again. His heart swelled at the feeling of your kiss but sank at the very same time knowing this may just be something he could only recall in the future with vivid precision. You broke the kiss, your nose touching his. His eyes opened, lips parted as he was still clearly stunned. His eyes met your hopefully, pleading expression. You prayed that he knew, that he would figure it out. 

Realisation dawned upon him as your grip on him tightened. A smile grew upon his face as he pressed himself into you, capturing your lips in another passionate kiss. You giggled against his lips, relieved that he had caught on. He was so happy that he couldn't help but smile into the kiss his hands pulling your face closer. You had never seen him so happy. He began to walk backwards, tugging you with him but refusing to break the kiss for even a moment. Even as you began to walk beside him. He twisted his full body to keep your lips on his, his hands still cupping your face until the two of you got to the opening of the alley. Finally you both broke the kiss.  Edward sent you a grin before tugging your hand, taking you back down the street the way you came. "Wait, don't you have a meet-" You were cut off. "They'll never know we were here if we hurry. I can guarantee a better time with you." You let out another laugh as you and Edward took off down the street laughing, hand in hand. 

Edward looked at the spot where your wound was on your chest, his expression grim. Your shirt blocking his line of sight but he knew where it was precisely. He remembered every little detail, like your eyes rolling to the back of your head when the blood loss finally hit you. How the bullet wound bled before and after the removal of the bullet. How you looked sickly, a loss of colour in your complexion for a few days after. Even now, with you laying beside him, eyes closed, complexion normal. He remembered you dying like it was yesterday and he wondered if it would be the only thing he would associate your eyes shut. He reached out, his thumb pushing aside your shirt. Your eyes snapped open, nose crinkling at the sensation. "What are you doing?" You grumbled, trying push his hand away. Edward didn't let you. Instead, he was only more determined, sending you a look and moving your hand away from his. His eyes trailed down to the wound again, pushing your shirt aside to reveal the tender scar. Lightly, he pressed a hand onto it. It didn't hurt at all but the skin was still sensitive. Or perhaps you were still coping with being shot in the first place. You caved, letting him touch the wound with a shaky exhale, slightly nervous for incoming pain. The pain never came. Edward's eyes softened. "I love and hate that scar." He said quietly. "Why?" You whispered. "I love it as it brought you to me but I hate it because in doing so, it nearly killed you." After a moment of silence, you responded. "You could only wish to be so lucky, Eddie." He cracked a smile at that and you smiled smugly. "Maybe it's not the same for you anymore." You continued. "I'm not a hero to seduce you anymore. I'm boring like everyone else now." "Shut up." Edward said before silencing you with a kiss. He cupped your face with his hand, locking you in place. "Although, I'll very much miss that outfit of yours." He hummed fondly. "I may just have to get you something similar. Even if it's a wicked tease for me." You felt Edward's nose run softly down your jaw and then his lips on your neck. However that comment had you thinking, what would happen between you and Edward now that it was known the feeling was mutual? "Ed?" You asked softly. "Yes, my dear?" He said in-between kisses. "Can I ask you something?" He hummed against your neck. "I doubt I won't know the answer or find it much of a challenge." Edward responded planting one last kiss to your neck and pulling away to look at you properly. "Are...are we together now?" You asked quietly. "Like are we a thing?" Edward rolled his eyes with a big sigh. "We aren't 'a thing'. We are two adults in a relationship. Of course we're together, you moron!" Somehow the insult came across almost fondly, loving even. Edward smiled kissing the side of your face before flopping back onto the bed. You felt his fingertips brush against your cheek as he watched you. "Could always keep the black but put green question marks all over the outfit?" Edward let out a chuckle. "Ah yes, another way to tease me." He said as he pulled you into him. 

There was a vibration on the bedside. Your eyes widened. "Shit." "What?" Edward didn't seem bothered at all. "Harley is calling. Ed, we didn't go to the meeting yesterday!" "I know we didn't, it was my idea." He deadpanned. "She's probably asking why! What do I say?" Edward sighed. "Better answer and find out." You huffed before answering hesitantly. "Hello?" "(Y/N)! We were expectin' you 'n' Eddie yesterday! You didn't show up! What's the big idea!?" That's when you heard Harley wasn't alone. You could have sworn you heard an irate Penguin and Two-Face bickering. "I...I forgot." You said quickly. "That was yesterday? I thought it was on Thursday? Cobblepot told me Thursday." "Like hell I did!" You heard Oswald yell out. "I told you Tuesday because we usually meet on Tuesdays!" You slammed your hand onto Edward's mouth, feeling him inhale to speak. You shook your head despite only Edward being able to see it. "No, I could have sworn you told me Thursday. You said Thursday noon." "Thursday noon is the bloody booze delivery for the lounge!" You felt Edward's stomach shake under you from laughing. "What about Nygma? What's his excuse?" Two-Face could be heard. "Uhh, I don't know. He didn't tell me any differently so maybe he forgot?" There were sudden protests from both Harley and Jonathan in unison. "That's bullshit!" "The man who thinks he's intellectually superior in the world who just so happens to have OCD and a photographic memory is not going to forget." Jonathan spoke flatly. Your eyes shifted to Edward pleadingly who was about to remove your hand to loudly declare that he didn't have any mental illnesses. "Oh, here he is now. He just walked into the living room. Edward, did you know about the meeting yesterday?" You asked, eyes wide as you silently pleaded that he'd play along. He rolled his eyes. "Of course I did. I remember everything." He deadpanned and you frowned at him. "Then where were ya!?" Oswald asked. "Here. Just because I remembered doesn't mean I'm inclined to go." Edward plucked the phone from your hand and moved you to his side. "Edward-" Jonathan began. "Now I know you lot can't do anything without my superior intellect but I have other priorities. I found my work to be far more important." Edward cut in. "Which is what exactly since your work involves us?" Harvey asked. Edward tutted. "That is no business of yours, Dent." Edward's fingers trailed up your side, lightly scratching his nails downwards. Not enough to hurt but enough to make you squirm. You gave him a look of warning. "Don't fret, I remembered our meeting I just didn't want to go. So I didn't. Now I have much more important matters to attend to than have a conversation with you that's going in circles. Goodbye." Without a moment's hesitation, he hung up the phone. Not so much as waiting for a reply. He even went as far as to turn the phone off before smirking at you. 

"Smooth." You said simply. "Here I thought you'd choose something much more creative." Edward chuckled. "I did not lie but I also didn't give the full truth. I decided we weren't going to that meeting because I didn't want to." Edward's smirked widened as he pulled you close to him by the upper arms. "I just didn't give the reason why." You playfully rolled your eyes. Edward stroked your cheek lovingly. "I am worthless to one but absolute bliss for two. I am a lovers privilege and a baby's right. What am I?" He asked softly. "You kinda lost me at the 'baby's right' but I think the answer is this...?" You trailed off, closing the gap between you both. Edward hummed in approval as he pulled you on top of him and squeezing you tightly. "Correct." He said against your lips. You broke away and smiled down at him. Then your smile faltered. "I was thinking of something and I'd like to get your opinion." 

"You don't have to do this, you know." Edward reminded you for the fourth time.  “Do what?” Two-Face gruffly asked.  “Yes, I do. I made my choice.” You looked over your shoulder at him. The other rogues grew wary of what you could possibly have to say. Edward sighed before leaning back against the counter crossing his arms.  “Well out with it, some of us don’t have all day.” Oswald snapped and Edward shot him a glare.  “So it’s pretty safe to say that the whole hero career is out the window since you guys have seen my face.” You began. “Oddly enough I’ve grown to trust Edward as well as you guys but I think it’s time that I show it since you guys have put everything at risk by showing your lives around me-captive or not. It’s a risk and I think it’s about time I do the same.” Jonathan took his eyes away from you to take in the slight expression of worry Edward was trying to hide. You took a breath before meeting the rogues gazes. “My name is (Y/N).” 

Harley let out a gasp. Two-Face and Penguin seemed taken aback but Jonathan narrowed his gaze, skeptical. “How would we know that’s the truth?”  “Jonathan!” Edward scowled at Edward.  “Not all of us worship the ground they walk on!” Jonathan replied coldly.  “Wait, we’re just gonna put that information out there?” Harley said warily.  “They know.” Edward said quietly as he stared Jonathan down. Harley smiled slightly. “They know? You told them?” You looked between Harley and Edward and the surprisingly soft moment the two were sharing.  “I told them.” He said quietly. Harley smiled at him. “Atta-boy.” She responded. She turned her attention to you. She immediately moved towards you opening her arms and pulling you into a hug. “Finally! I can stop calling you Vigilante! It got old after the first two days.” She said and you giggled.  “That is a lot of syllables.” You agreed before the two of you broke the hug. “For someone who gave away their identity to criminals, you don’t seem very frightened.” Jonathan received another scowl from Edward.  "I am scared." You said breathlessly with a smile before quickly grabbing Jonathan's hand and pressing it to the pulse point on your neck. "See?" Jonathan's eyes lit up slightly, a small smile grew upon his face. Just to sweeten it more for him, you raised your free hand to reveal the tremble in your hands. “I’m not lying. I really did just tell you my name. I’ll even give you my social media if you guys want to check.”  “Hey! Are you two really not gonna tell us how Edward’s confession went!?” Harley proclaimed loudly.  “Do we need to know?” Oswald asked. Edward let out a huff of amusement before moving behind you and wrapping his arms around your shoulders, pulling you into him and rest his head on top of yours. “Don’t be jealous, Oswald.” He smirked at the Penguin.  

Harley cried out in excitement, immediately slapping Jonathan’s arm who sent her a look of irritation.  “I’m so happy for you two!” Harley practically pounced, winding her arms around the two of you in a hug as best as she could. Her grip on Edward’s arm tightened as he tried to wriggle free.  “Harley, the hugging isn’t necessary.” He tugged trying not to hurt you or Harley. “Can it, Eddie! Do you know how difficult it was to keep my mouth shut on the roof!? Let me have this!” Harley said loudly. Edward grumbled but reluctantly patted Harley’s back. 

The days went by as you waited for any sign of the Batman. That was until one of Penguin’s men came running in about how the Batman wanted you to meet him on the same rooftop at ten. This had the Riddler on edge as he insisted on taking a gun if the Batman were to try and do something. You insisted that the Riddler kept his distance and even made Jonathan go with you both so that he would keep Edward in check. It was more and more difficult to face the Batman each time but you were confident in your decision. Everything made sense. “This isn’t me turning to a life of crime.” You said with a smile. “I just...this whole time i thought i was stuck between two sides, that i’ve been stressed with being torn between you and...” You paused turning to Edward. “...him.” You turned back to the Batman. “I was wrong, i havent been torn. I’ve been sad because a chapter of my life came to an end before I knew it. I realised that i can never return to the vigilante life. Not because they’ve seen my face... but because they’ve wormed their way into my heart and I might not agree with what they do but i can’t go back and pretend I don’t know them day in and day out. That I didn’t slowly but surely love them and the craziness they brought to my day to day life. I can’t walk away and i don’t want to. So even if you don’t understand, I’m sorry and thank you for everything Batman. You don’t need to worry about me sharing secrets- I won’t. I’m officially off the game board.” You took a deep breath of the cold night air. “I’m done.” 

Later that night you lay in Edward’s bed. It was quiet, a rarity despite the irony. That was because you didn’t hear Edward or what he was up to. Although the thought wasn’t around for long as the door opening disrupted the thought. You turned towards the door and Edward with a few buttons of the top of his shirt unbuttoned. He crawled onto the bed, laying beside you. “I still can’t believe it.” He said softly. “It’s been two hours and all I can think about is how you walked away from him. You chose me.”  “Of course, I did.” You said quietly. “Edward, there is no life worth living without you in it.” You turned your head to him. “I think about the future and all I think about is you.” Edward took your hand and put it on his chest, just above his heart as his thumb stroked your wrist. His eyes locked with yours and for once, he was at peace and fully present with you. His work wasn’t on his mind, neither was the Bat. He was completely with you. After a moment of staring at you, he asked. “What is mine but only you can have?”  “A heart?” The answer barely passed your lips.  “No. My heart.” Edward smiled before leaning in to kiss your lips.

[clown-cult]

Joker and Harley for the character thing. The Batman version

The Batman 2004 is the only valid version~

Joker first!

How I feel about this character: I absolutely adore The Batman’s version of Joker. He’s a king. The only version of the Joker we can say for certain 100% fucks. I’ve been obsessed with him since I first watched this show with it aired. It’s the version of Batman and his rogues I grew up with and I’m at the point where I stubbornly accept no other version. I love the character of the Joker in general, yes, but this version is far and above the best.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Batman of course. Batjokes was not only my first OTP but also the start of my sheltered ass realising gay folks were not only a thing but that I, in fact, might be one. This is also one of the few versions of Jarley I ship cuz it’s like…not toxic. I also ship J with the version of Riddler from this show and I like to think they’ve got history.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Does Joker and Harley count here too? Honestly this version would be just as good as friends as a couple. They’re both sassy and like yelling at children. Otherwise definitely Joker and Penguin. They have one of those friendships where they communicate by insulting each other.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I’m gonna be a bit shady here but I feel like despite it being extremely obvious, interpreting the 2004 Joker as black is still an unpopular opinion. It shouldn’t be, but it is 🙄

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: you see what I just wrote above this? Yeah, that. Erase whoever the fuck that skinny white ginger nerd was cuz he is NOT the Joker. Idk if you can whitewash a character that’s technically already snow white but damn this sure feels like it. I have an interpretation of my own that I write about and draw quite a bit here where I explore who he is and would have been before he became the Joker.

Harley next!

How I feel about this character: Harley Quinn is not a character I’m tremendously fond of as a rule but I do like The Batman’s version a lot. She’s sassy, street-smart and not really scared of shit because why would she be? You get the impression she’s had to scheme, demand and fight for what she’s got and she’s not going to take it lightly if that gets taken away from her.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: I’ve said I ship Jarley if it’s this version and I still do. They’re fun together and I love that Harley gets the upper hand in the dynamic a lot and she’s got no issue giving command to Joker if need be. HarleyIvy is out of the question for this version but I also ship her with Catwoman. They have this sarcastic, bad bitch, do what has to get done and flee the consequences vibe. Also BatJokes plus Harlina is peak mlm/wlw solidarity.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Harley plus Marty the hacker that we meet in metal face of comedy. We get the impression he’s only there cuz he’s a friend of Harley’s. They probably game together. This version of Harley also acts as a tough love older sister character to Ivy as well and that’s fun to watch. They come up with plans and Harley kind of gently nudges Ivy in the right direction or holds her back when necessary.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I actually like that she’s not a psychiatrist who got lured into being a criminal by the Joker. She’s extremely up front about how vapid her psychology show is but she’s still very intelligent. The fact she’s not a real doctor doesn’t mean she’s not smart. She uses her show and her audience (that it’s implied she got through more scheming) to explore just how much she can put people through and the reactions she can get out of them, behaviour she even uses on Joker. She’s fiendishly intelligent but without the naive bubbly innocence other versions have. I understand a lot of people don’t like it but I love it.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I think Harley deserved to have more appearances than she did. She gets to go on her own little adventures in the comics and she’s incredibly fun to watch in action. She really just doesn’t give a single fuck what anyone thinks.

[dotuvoidsynth]

oh god i forgot about this entirely im so sorry uhhhh. ill start w the general gnp hcs bc yea. long ass wall of text after the read more thing

cakey/obsequious' name that i kinda like for her is Catherine for some reason?? its kinda silly it fits her shes silly shes my blorbo

also she's transfem, bisexual and demiromantic, uses she/her and uh. im a cakehurty shipper srry guys they r dating they love each other!!! lets go!!!

then theres hyper/tooth hurty n i dont rlly have a name for them i havent rlly thought of it....i should name them something silly too. like diet coke 3

they're nb n transmasc, uses they/him and uhhhh i havent rlly thought of their sexuality n romantic orientation but theyre probably demiromantic n demisexual too why not!!

they're both autistic n in love!!!! yay!!

i dont have many hcs for chris but!! ik hes a demiboy or some flavor of not cis, and maybe hes aroace who knows!!!

same for lilia but i just can tell shes nb or something, she/they and lesbian + ace

i also have barely any hcs for the crazy town guys for some reason, they're def both t4t w maika being transfem n yohioloid transmasc n i honestly have no idea about their romantic n sexual orientations but i have a feeling they're both bi or pan or something.......

and for the cmncs hcs!! i have barely any that i remember for some reason but!

henry and nancy are both ace and allat like usual bc they do not do the devils tango!!! they dont woohoo!! theyre both cis, henry's straight and nancy is like. demi??? she doesn't rlly mind gender shes just silly

frances is aroace, and also cis for some reason. idk why i got so many aroace little guys in my brain im not even aroace what does this mean!!

pronouns are just. plain cis person pronouns i think

uhhhh kennith is genderfluid, gay both ways n kisses men... oh he uses any pronouns he just does Not Care. he only wants money and men and like happiness or something.... a little kiss too if he feels like it..... hes audhd too...... the scrimblo

greg is a demiboy mayhaps....he/him, maybe bi??? maybe demi??? he just doesnt rlly care about anything he just exists and is not rlly okay w it but its fine he has the little gay guy that smokes w him so everythings fine

steph is cis, uses she/her and is also pan but!! shes also somewhere in the ace spectrum too!!

bri is nb they/them and a lesbian too and like ace too and like. they have an unhealthy obsession w tamagotchis for some reason. they're autistic and share that special interest w avery whos also autistic and they can and WILL talk about their spins for several hours. love them!! OH also they rlly like korn for some mysterious reason

avery is transfem n she/her and uhhhhhhhh..........somewhere in the acespec??? and a lesbian too i think....... she likes neopets n she definitely played club penguin at some point in it's early days

simon!!! my blorbo!!! im sorry you were so slandered and honestly i get it youre a cunt in the canon fuck you. but its ok because the canon is NOT REAL!! im delusional and will literally write a whole brand new story for him because he deserved a better lore bc hes just a bad guy for no reason and he has no depth behind that

so!!! simon is still aroace, uses he/him pronouns and everything, but he def didnt have the best most real most based childhood. someone give this dude a snack or something maybe a hug. his whole family was conservative and lived in a fucking. white ass neighborhood?? apparently those are a thing in the us?? what the fuck. everyone there was like that too so he grew up thinking that gays r BAD!! trans people? EW!!! icky!! black people? nuh uh! anyone thats not the typical alocishet white guy named John Smith was not normal n allat. so it was p much an echo chamber of weird stupid shit that he couldn't escape and didn't know anything that wasn't what this community inculcated on his brain since the moment he was born. so imagine this dude goes on the internet and sees a black trans girl n a latin american nb dating and identifying as lesbians. like just imagine the confusion bro would feel about that shit. bro probably punched a wall or something in frustration and decided to fuck their lives up because he didn't get why they were like that. anyways things happen, nathan appears and simon thinks "woah that guys rlly short he sounds like 13 or something is this a toddler?? nice clothes tho that hoodie goes hard" and plays cod mw w him on xbox live and shit on random kids and make them cry and everything, and this dude has NO IDEA that Nathan is not only non-human, but also fucking TRANSMASC and never rlly realized until like halfway through what would have been the case 3 story and yeah. hes like. what the fuck. this dude i actually shared my past with and actually asked for advice on some shit and played cod with and have spent all this time with, is literally trans??? what the fuck???? huh???????? and he got so confused he turned WOKE!!!! jk he just stopped being an absolute dick to every single person that wasnt a cis white dude that much. like he would still try to understand what the FUCK was going on w them but he didn't threaten to kill them. or actually kill them. or make them starve. or bully them to death and everything. he just made fun of them mostly but thats it!! he gets better later tho. he heals!!! nature is healing!! good job white boy!!!

i also kinda forgot about my storyteller hcs uhhh ray is agender, he/they n aroace.

evelynn is nb, she/they n guess what!! shes also ace but they're also a lesbian so its fine

nathan my boy........i would like to award you with the most prized thing i own (being hcd as transmasc). hes just a little trans guy!! just like me!!! uses he/they and is also aroace and hes also audhd and rlly fucking loves dogs. big dogs specifically. like these absolutely massive dogs u see sometimes and think "woah!! big dog!!"

should i start to post my cmncs + general gnp hcs.....

[ask-hunterxhunter]

Helloo royal Guards as yandere please

But without the presence of Meruem because I find it difficult for them to fall in love with Reader while serving the King.

Mmmh, Neferpitou with a Reader male because my headcanon is that she is a infertile female uhhh I dont know how to explain it but I think that in the ant castes there are infertile females that are workers

Yeah, as far as I know, that's how it is with ants... I'm not an expert, but I think the female workers are infertile and care for the queen. Their development depends on how much food they receive when they're larvae. If there is abundance, some larvae will be "princess ants" (fertile and will leave the colony to start their own once the time is right).

Hmm... The Chimera Ants, however, seem to work quite different. Besides the whole "Ant Giving Birth to an Anthro Lion" and what not, they didn't end up starving once the queen died (which I read happens because there are no more larvae and the ants need them to properly feed) and many of them left to try starting colonies of their own (even some of the males seemed to want that, not just females like Zanzan)...

Perhaps this is more like some species of wasp? I've read that the queen produces a pheromone that keeps the others infertile. Once she dies, they battle for dominance in order to become the next queen. With the Chimera, however, they left for new territories rather than stay and fight...

...

Is there an entomologist in the house?

Neferpitou

The royal guards, regardless of Meruem’s presence, are not exactly easy to deal with even in their normal state (and I don’t think this is simply because they are not humans). Take them to Yandere level and, well, let’s just say it is not a pretty picture…

Pitou is not someone whose interest is easily aroused (she is the kind that “knows several people but regards only a few of them as her actual friends”) and, in a sense, the opposite is also true: It’s not easy to lose such interest, either. With her in Yandere-mode, well, it’s basically impossible. Once you’ve realized what is going, taking the usual measures to try dealing with it (such as moving, contacting the police, so on), don’t waste any time hoping she will “move on” or “change targets” as some stalkers do. It's not in her nature (both due to her personality and instincts).

Not that you would certainly realize what is going on right away. It would depend on her mood and how she decides to deal with her feelings (and she can’t change this decision): She may just go for the straight, extreme actions or keep a convincing facade of normality for a while… Regardless of whether this “normality” is you trying to kill each other or being friends (or she at least living in peace among humans)...

In the “enemies” case, Pitou would not spend days brooding about having fallen for an enemy and trying to get rid of those feelings. She would just shrug the situation off and start to debate whether it’s best to kidnap you right away or try to court you. If she’s working with other Ants for whatever reason or they just happen to be in the area, she would make sure everyone knows you are not to be hurt (and may God have mercy on whoever doesn’t listen). Her attacks would still be convincing from your point of view while being harmless playing in Pitou’s mind. After all, she lets you escape with no injures!

The “convincing facade” is more regarding how deep (and unsettling) her feelings are. In both scenarios, she would confess soon and, being what/how she is, likely act on it. No matter how much you explain you’re not interested or what arguments you use, Pitou would just wave her tail, perhaps ask what you mean exactly in that “innocently curious” tone of hers and… Completely ignore what you just said.

Well, okay, maybe you need to remember she isn’t completely human, so you can’t demand that she behaves like one, right?

Oh, boy, are you making a mistake… Not being human doesn’t mean that Pitou doesn’t understand that there are limits.

She understands.

She just couldn’t care less.

Remember when she probed Pokkles’ brain with him still alive? When Gon and Killua saw her for the first time? This is nothing next to how she can be when she’s obsessed with you.

I mentioned she would act on her feelings, right? Here’s another thing: She is also likely to do so in the manner of an animal trying to attract a particular mate. And because we’re talking Yandere-mode, I don’t mean the “bird dancing” or “penguin offering a pebble”. Not even the “cat giving you a dead prey”…

If you’re friends/she’s living in the human society, there would be some restraint at first, to the point her insistence would seem innocent… Then she would either grow impatient and kidnap you, or things would escalate, giving you hints to the darkness of her feelings until you’re forced to accept that this friend is a threat to you. Maybe after returning home, you find a note in your bed in which Pitou wrote that she loves how soft your bed is, how your home’s security is lacking… And, by the way, that person seems to have a crush on you… Hmm… Should she break their hands or their legs? The playful tone of the note only makes it darker.

Somehow you know she is not kidding.

If you’re enemies, well, she has no reason to restrain herself from the start. Her interactions with you would become far darker even if she miiight not kidnap you right away (for whatever reason) especially since she wouldn’t waste time playing by human rules. Pitou would find a way to make a claim (pinning you down, rubbing herself against you like a cat, and even leaving a love bite/hickey on your neck are very much on the table) or say it loud and clear in battle when there are other humans around. This isn’t just for the other humans, but for you as well: You’re hers, now. There is no room for discussion.

Also, in this scenario, it’s not impossible that Pitou’s “love” started with her deciding to make you her pet. Collar and all.

It should be said that Pitou is a cat in almost every sense, so the tendency to “play with her food” is very much present... Yes, she sees you as a “mate” rather than “prey”, but your attempts to avoid/hide from her consist of an opportunity that is far too good to miss! You change address and, after a few days, start to relax… Only for her to leave a new “present” at your door! It’s both funny and cute how you thought something so simple would keep her away! Awww, you’re so adorable!

Again, it’s true that some of her actions (such as this) have no malice whatsoever behind them, but I repeat, don’t let yourself be fooled: She is very much aware that what she is doing is creepy and wrong and why. I’m repeating this because Pitou can be as charming and cute as a cat… And as devious and sadistic as any human.

While some yanderes give you time (perhaps hoping you’ll eventually come around or because chasing you is so much fun), Pitou is among those who won’t take long before deciding to “take you home”.

Pitou loves having you all to herself and will be very affectionate, especially when it’s just the two of you. Maybe this sounds a little cute on principle? Yeah, trust me, it is not. It’s terrifying! Even when you reject her and she caresses your head saying you’re cute, you can see the insanity in her eyes, mixed with a sick infatuation.

It doesn’t help that, at times, her being “affectionate” involves brushing your hair, cuddling and even bathing together. Not only this invasion of space can already be uncomfortable, something about how Pitou does it makes you feel too much like a pet, especially when she talks about how much she loves you, how lovely you are, and how she is never going to let you go. In this situation, and the way she speaks, those words make you feel cold.

You should have realized by now that there is no reasoning with her and this isn’t because she is not human. Pitou is likely to twist your arguments or make points that would frankly make you think she learned from Illumi or Hisoka (and she only does that because she thinks it’s funny, anyway).

As for Pitou, well, she can’t say she is happy that you’re uncomfortable, but she believes it’s just temporary and you’ll get used to your new life… Hey, humans capture animals all the time to put them in zoos or circus. She isn’t that bad in comparison, now, is she?

She’s easily the kind of yandere that responds to pleas for freedom by caressing your head and saying you’re cute. How could she possibly let you go? You’d run away! Besides, she can keep you well-fed and protected. You say such silly things, love!

That’s not to say Pitou doesn’t have a limit to how much rejection she can take or her patience. And this is a line you don’t want to cross. It’s hard to say if Pitou would get to the point of physical punishment, but this doesn’t mean she wouldn’t make use of other means.

Menthuthyoupi.

It’s not easy to catch the attention of any of the Royal Trio, each for their own reasons. In Youpi’s case, it’s partially because he doesn’t have any human DNA on him, so despite being able to communicate and all, he doesn’t usually pay that much attention to people. It’s almost like he’s an alien (or we are, in his view). Even in a scenario when he is living in peace with humans, he doesn’t have exactly a clear opinion about them. They just exist. Maybe a few of them are okay enough, but that’s it… And in a scenario when he is still fighting them, well, they are the enemy. It’s pretty simple.

Youpi is direct, both in personality and as a Chimera Ant (in that he follows his instincts without hesitation). As such, like Pitou, he wouldn’t avoid his feelings once he comes to understand them. It’s a little strange, yes, but he accepts the fact that he loves you and that’s it. That said, Youpi would be initially confused (especially if you’re an enemy. How on Earth did he develop this sort of feeling for someone he’s supposed to kill?), and he wouldn’t make a move until he is sure of what he is feeling and what he wants.

Sadly, because this isn’t him in a healthy state of mind, this doesn’t mean anything good for you. This isn’t a shy monster-boy finding a human he considers special. This isn’t even “enemies falling in love” or “dark romance”. This is an “already dangerous individual” developing an equally dangerous obsession.

At first, Youpi starts to stalk you (if you’re his enemy/if you’ve never spoken before) or try to find excuses to spend more time with you (if you’re on friendly terms) in this attempt to understand exactly what is going on with himself. During this time, his feelings for you become stronger along with his desire to know everything about you. He’s curious. He’s fascinated. He wants to see you more often. He wants to talk with you… He just wants to be near you…

It’s pretty disturbing because, despite his size, Youpi will find the means to stalk you without anyone realizing it, just like an animal hunting. You may notice a shadow here and now, feel a chill up your spine, but it won’t be enough to make the danger clear enough. If you two are enemies, there are chances you’ll realize that there is something is wrong, as he either avoids fighting you (no issues with anyone else, though) or that he doesn’t seem to be actively trying to hurt you as much as before… Despite this, you’ll never, ever imagine he is in love with you.

Well, disturbing as it may be, it sounds almost as harmless as he can be in this scenario, right?

Not the case. You can’t forget how obsession grows, how it affects a person, and that it gets to the point when merely stalking isn’t enough. There is no such thing as a harmless yandere/stalker. So even if Youpi, at first, is satisfied with merely watching you from afar and making sure you aren’t hurt, it starts to not be enough. He sees you with your friends, smiling at them, hugging them, laughing… And he starts to imagine how it would be to have you doing these things with him, to be the one who makes you smile, to be the one holding you… And he realizes he wants it.

He loves you. He wants you.

And there is no reason to not act on those feelings.

Regardless of the circumstances between you, he seems to take the rejection well (if you manage to control the shock, act calmly and explain your reasons for it). At first, he thinks about your points and may even understand them… Only to find out that he doesn’t care. He can’t forget you. He can’t let go of you… And honestly, he doesn’t really want to. That you don’t feel the same now doesn’t matter. Don’t some couples start not feeling the same for each other, only for those feelings to change later?

In the case of “peaceful existence”, it might be easier to get a glimpse of his instability than with the Neferpitou, but it doesn’t make much of a difference. Even the precautions people normally take in those situations would only work for a certain time… The myth of the animal that “will pursue its prey to the ends of the Earth once it has its scent” is true when it comes down to Youpi (literally even).

Now, while Youpi is less likely to resort to kidnapping (at least right away), he would still find ways to inject himself into your life, so even then, you can’t say you’re free. He may not go straight to threatening your loved ones (and it’s hard to predict if he would follow with it), but there are many other tactics that he could and would use.

And being less likely to kidnap you doesn’t mean he wouldn’t if he didn’t decide it is the better course of action. After all, no matter how strong you prove yourself to be, it doesn’t mean you’re invincible. It doesn’t mean you can’t be hurt. If he keeps you, he can’t make sure you’re safe.

Either way, there is no way to be free of him.

If he kidnapped you, Youpi wouldn’t go so far as to place you in an actual cage or chain you up, but he would find means to make sure you can’t leave.

He is easily the most patient of the trio, including with your rejections and attempts to escape. It doesn’t please him and nothing can convince him to let you go, but at least Youpi doesn’t get angry, condescending, or twist things around. In fact, it gets to the point when you can lose control and try hitting him that he wouldn’t even raise his voice. He would just hold your wrists (carefully) and try to calm you down…

Now, just because he isn’t human, it doesn’t mean Youpi is unable to understand that what he is doing is wrong and why you’re so unhappy. Hey, animals also don’t like to be taken from the place they consider their home like that. He can relate, he can understand. But his obsession is too great for him to let you go and, instead, he hopes that you’ll adapt with time.

Not having human genes and understanding even less about humans than Pitou and Pouf, in his desire to make you comfortable (and make you accept him), Youpi would likely try to learn what he can about humans (probably even asking for Pitou’s help).

For Youpi, your presence alone makes him feel good. While he wouldn’t force you into things that make you uncomfortable or excessively invade your personal space the way Pitou might, there would still be times when Youpi would want to show you some affection. Chances are, he would enjoy holding you close (especially because, next to him, you feel so small and cute) and nuzzling you, which is not only a common expression of affection among animals, but it also gives him an extra opportunity to enjoy your scent.

Youpi might be less cruel than most of yanderes, but this doesn’t mean much. At the end of the day, whether he has kidnapped you or not, the situation is still essentially the same. You’re being hurt either way…

Shaiapouf.

Even in his normal state of mind, for all his apparent calmness and self-control, it’s been showed several times that Pouf can be actually quite intense with his emotions, to the point they cloud his thoughts (and that’s a polite way to say it). Well, multiply that by a thousand and you’ll only scratch the surface of how he becomes as a Yandere.

Even if, by some miracle, this is a scenario where Pouf lives peacefully with humans it doesn’t mean he likes them. It’s more that he “tolerates” and “accepts” their existence as an unpleasant fact and it’s very much unlikely he would have human friends (he would probably find a way to live with comfort and luxury while having as little contact as possible with them). In a sense, you can compare him to some yokais in Inuyasha… He doesn’t go out of his way to antagonize humans (and risk a fight), but he sure as hell doesn’t care for them.

Until you, that is.

Pouf will never be able to say when his feelings for you started to grow and it will take a long time for him to understand them. By the time this happens, well, he is way into “Obsession Land”. Once he can no longer deny what he feels and it hits him that he loves you, his first reaction is… Well, pretty much an emotional tantrum, followed by self-despise and intense fury. How could he ever fall for a human? Disgraceful! Terrible! How could he fall so low? He even tries to hate you for making him feel that way, only to realize he can’t.

This lasts for a while, with him trying to convince himself to bury those feelings, no matter what it takes. If you two are enemies, be prepared: Pouf may consider killing you as the only way to “get rid of this shame”. He soon realizes he can’t bear the idea of you being hurt, let alone by him (well, like this, I mean)… But at least you’re not having to deal with his obsession yet.

Sadly, it doesn’t mean this will last long enough for something to happen before things get out of control. Pouf can’t get you out of his mind, possibly deciding to “observe you” in order to “remind himself” that you’re just a human: Flawed, inferior, and unworthy. This evolves into stalking and has the opposite effect: He becomes more and more infatuated, as well as worried that you might get hurt. You’re so beautiful, so gentle… You should not be fighting! At all! Oh, you’re an angel. No wonder he fell for you! You’re perfect for him!

If this is the “peaceful scenario”, the course of events is still pretty similar, no matter how you’ve met. At first, wanting to get you out of his system, he may be cold whenever you meet and even a little nasty, but it won’t work. He will start to long for more of your presence and if he manages to spend time with you, to consider you only of the few (if not the only) human who is better than the rest of the masses.

Either way, once he accepts that he loves you, you’re screwed.

In the “enemy scenario”, Pouf may try once to convince you to come with him, speaking highly of you and how much he loves you… In his mind, it’s poetry. In reality? The words may be pretty, but the way he says them, the shine in his eyes, the way he insists to hold your hands between his… Well, it’s creepy. Pouf may accept you denying him for a while, but it won’t take long until he seizes the first chance he has to take you. He was just being polite, offering you the chance of doing so by choice (if he does that when you’re gravely injured in a battle, he will use that frequently to point out he saved you and how you need him to keep you safe).

In the “peaceful scenario”, again, it’s not that much a different course of events. Your attempts to make him understand you’re not interested are ignored and there is precious little that anyone can do to keep you safe and, yes, including the Hunter Organization. He would do everything to get you.

In his mind, he is not doing anything wrong. If anything, his actions are almost heroic and proof of his devotion to you.

When you wake up in an unknown location and start to freak out or try to escape, Pouf reacts as if this is just adorable, then going on about how he loves you and wants to keep you safe. And let me tell you, this isn’t a “flowery speech” or like his funny moments in the anime. At this moment you realize you’re in a lot of trouble and that the chances of Pouf ever letting you go are non-existent.

It's not easy to determine exactly how deep his delusion goes; if it’s only about the “perfect life” you two will share or if it includes you. It’s not impossible that Pouf isn’t really in love with you, but rather an idealized version of you. He may also believe that, deep down, you do love him and just need time to realize it.

Pouf is the “adoring” kind of Yandere. He would love to spoil you, care for you, and would want to lavish you with gifts. Perhaps you’d expect him to be the less dangerous of the trio, or at least the most manageable, right? You’re dead wrong. Pouf is actually the worst of them, maybe even on the list of the worst yanderes of all Hunter cast.

His personality also means Pouf doesn’t believe anyone is worthy of your attention and if there is anyone you like (or that he thinks you like), it’s just because they’re manipulative and toxic. It’s his sacred duty to keep you safe from such scum! Perhaps the better term for him, rather than “jealous”, would be “possessive”. As far as he is concerned, you have no need to get in contact with another human ever again.

You thought he hated Komugi? Trust me, that was nothing compared to this.

He would lock you in a room, which you’d only leave while accompanied by him (he can’t have you trying to run off, can he?). Actually… If that happens, you should be glad. This guy isn’t above placing bars along a corner of his chambers (they are certainly large enough), turning that area into your “room” (bed and all). It certainly would appeal to him, especially since it gives him more chance to watch you.

There are stories about how excessive love can be suffocating, the “The Chaser” episode from the “Twilight Zone”… Well, Pouf’s love wouldn’t follow this line. This would be just tiresome. His adoration is frightening, even for a Yandere. The way he’s so sweet to you is mixed with a certain darkness, not letting you forget you’re dealing with an unstable person.

He understands this is a time of adaptation for you and this change of life is a shock, but he wouldn’t be happy if you asked him to let you go every day. In the same sickly-sweet way of always, he will mix subtle (or not so subtle) threats with words of adoration. Maybe he should chain you up… Maybe you’re thinking about that person who (he believes) has a crush on you? Maybe he should make sure you never think of them again…

There is also the fact that Pouf is among the Yanderes who would have almost no respect for your personal space. For all his adoration of you, he can be quite manipulative and controlling: If he wants to hold you in his lap, brush your hair, have you sleeping next to him, dance with you, well… There is little point in fighting. You would have to choose your battles wisely and keep in mind that Pouf isn’t above tying you up if you “start to be difficult”. Some Yanderes are happy enough with having you with them and may have enough patience to “wait for you to love them back”… Well, with Pouf, it depends on his mood.

There would be times when his behavior is all “patient and loving” (more like he just smiles when you try to get away or lash out)… And times when he would basically “demand” that you love him. Not with words, though: You’d learn that there are times when it’s safer for you to act a little more loving towards him (within reason) rather than antagonize him.

[philliamwrites]

killing me softly with his song | (Childe / Reader) [chpt.02]

Fandom: Genshin Impact

Pairing: Childe / Reader

Tags: #fem!reader, #from childhood friends to lovers, #reader is a fatui agent, #slow burn, #unresolved sexual tension, #mature language, #forbidden love

Words: 3.5k

Summary: "Lybuov zla, polyubish i kozla,“ sighs your sister as she wipes off the table, but that makes you feel even more miserable. Falling for a goat might save you from an actual heartbreak by Tartaglia’s hands.

Notes: Part 1

Masterlist

Chapter 2

At the barracks’ canteen reigns the unspoken rule that no one is allowed to cook borsch, and trying to do so is punished by cleaning all windows with cold water only in the middle of the night. Can’t see anything because the nights at the outskirts of Zapolyarny are blacker than out in the taiga? Tough luck. There are so many different recipes as there are families out there, and everyone has their very own way to make it. Fatui agents have brought each other to the hospital wing over fighting which recipe is the best, therefore a couple of years before Tartaglia and you enrolled, this rule was established.

Sitting out in the cold of Jaroslawk at four in the morning, you’d kill for a hot bowl of your mamochka’s borsch—the best in Morepesok even though Tartaglia begs to differ, but the only problem with his claim is that he is fucking wrong.

Through your binoculars you see everything is quiet and dark on the other side of the compound, which is a good sign. Unfortunately, good also means very boring. You’ve been lying in the exact same position for nearly three hours now: on your belly, elbows slightly propping your upper body to see the Baron’s estate that’s embraced by a forest like a mother cradling its child. Tales have it if you make even one little mistake inside those cold brick walls, Baron Igor would personally see to it that you don’t leave these woods alive and whatever his hellish guard dogs don’t finish eating up, his servants would send to your family as a small parting gift and warning to get as far and fast away as possible.

If only he were as thorough covering his tracks as he is scaring people, but Baron Igor has never really excelled at multiple things and now, months after the first little bird brought some interesting insight, you can’t wait for Baron Igor to finally slip and confirm the rumours about him selling information on one of Il Dottore’s gun research labs to a spy from Sumeru. Intel has it exchanges usually occur once every full moon and with the orb now hidden behind thick, black clouds, this is the last chance to get some evidence before the ship leaving to Sumeru carries whoever deserves a knife in their windpipe back to their God of Wisdom.

Baron Igor has messed up, got too arrogant, and now you and your team are here to make sure he eats up his mess. It wasn’t easy to infiltrate his mansion. Mitsuki only passed because you took out two of the other contesters for one of the Baron’s favourite restaurants down in Nowobirsk. That man bows to greed and when introduced to the place’s new maître d’hôtel—the best of his kind, the most exotic to own during their flimsy ceasefire with Inazuma—Baron Igor acted swiftly and hired him. Mitsuki had gagged at those words while lieutenant Scaramouche had shown the patience of a man barely holding himself back from violence. Two days later, Mitsuki took his position as spy and head waiter of the Baron’s personal restaurant taking up the whole second floor in the right wing of his stone mansion.

“Fuck me, I look like a penguin,” Mitsuki had said on the night before his work began at the estate, glaring at himself in the mirror dressed in a sharply tailored tuxedo.

“Then we know who to call if Baron Igor decides to open a zoo,” Mikhail had said, but he was in no hurry to turn away his appreciative gaze from how tight Mitsuki’s black pants tugged his slim legs and ass.

That’s the team, Mitsuki, you and Mikhail—Lock, Shock and Barrel, one of your fellow division’s comrade likes to call you for unknown reasons, simply laughing to himself and shaking his head as if trying to get rid of a good memory. Though for all that Scaramouche is concerned, to him you’re triple double and a clusterfuck he doesn’t want anywhere near him or so help him Her Majesty the Tsaritsa, he’ll stake your heads and scatter your remains to the seagulls terrorising the coast of Port Odessa.

“He loves us,” Mikhail likes to joke, even though you aren’t sure the words love and Scaramouche should be used in one sentence.

“One day, he’ll kill one of us with his bear hands and feel nothing,” Mitsuki commonly remarks, sounding like whatever you’d do to receive such a punishment is probably ghastly enough to justify being murdered.

“His hat is pretty neat,” is usually your only contribution and they both look at you as if you’re crazy.

“Any movement?” a voice asks from your right. Mikhail shakes still fresh snow from his head and shoulders as he dugs under the narrow doorway, looking like a puppy trying to shake itself dry. Now that a year has passed since a Geo Vision user crushed his right arm and healers had to amputate it to save his life, he’s adapted pretty well to only one arm and hand at his disposal. He’s balancing a cup in his palm while holding two paper bags with his fingers and somehow makes it look easy. He rejoins you at the window, carefully placing the steaming cup and one bag in front of you. You hand him your binoculars so he can see for himself, and inspect your breakfast. “Do I even want to know where you found,” you peak inside the bag, “pirozhky at a time like this?”

“Couple of blocks down there’s this place. Really nice lady, gave me one for free and added a little extra to our coffee.”

You take a sip, and instantly begin coughing and pounding your chest as it goes down burning. “Archons, that’s disgusting. Who in their right mind puts Fire-Water in their coffee?”

“I know, right?” Mikhail beams. “It’s genius.”

It’s ghastly. You take another sip. Horrible, really. But it keeps you warm and awake. So maybe it isn’t that bad at all.

While Mikhail observes the area, you dig into your beef and onion pirozhky. There’s nothing fun about pulling an all-nighter but sometimes sharing a cup of coffee and eating warm food helps to get through them. Also knowing someone suffers with you. Sharing pain is gain, after all.

“Well, they sure like taking their sweet time,” Mikhail mumbles, getting a little more comfortable on the cold stone ground. He puts the binoculars away and digs into his own food. “What are we gonna do if nothing happens today?”

“Then we’ll come back next month and do it all over again.” Hopefully you don’t have to. Fyrva’snezh was two weeks ago but this winter started off particularly brutal. Two out of three units are still missing from their outskirts training and you don’t want to be in the poor lasses’ and lads’ shoes who are still at the infirmary recovering from severe hypothermia. “What worries me more is that Mitsuki might lose his sanity if he stays there another whole month.”

“Well, what doesn’t kill him makes him stronger,” Mikhail says, wiping his greasy fingers off his pants. “I just want to wipe that smug smirk off the Baron’s pig face.”

He and probably every citizen populating Jaroslawk. “Once Mitsuki locates the communication point, we’ll go in and neutralise the target if we can’t catch him alive,” you say. “Baron Igor will try and weasel his way out of it but so far all evidence stands against him. The rest is up to Her Majesty.” And the Tsaritsa is known for many things, but mercy isn’t one of them. That will show anyone else trying to make business behind her back.

“Do you really think Mitsuki will endure another month in that stupidly tight uniform?” Mikhail sounds like he very much wished for another month out in the cold like this if it meant Mitsuki would bless him for a while longer wearing his uniform.

You stretch your leg and kick him in his shin. “Don’t jinx this, Nozhyalensky,” you say. “No matter how good his ass looks in those pants, it isn’t worth freezing your own ass off out in this cold. If we have to extend our mission, I’m going to steal your coat and own it for the whole time.”

“You don’t care if I freeze to death?”

“I really don’t.”

He puts his hand on his heart in mock despair. “That’s harsh.”

It would be his own fault, no hard feelings. You sit in silence, sharing your scalding hot coffee. In the mansion on the other side, a light flickers on in the east wing. Mikhail shifts and makes a disgusted grunt. “I did not want to know the Baron is banging the Duchess of Pavlovich.”

“Might be good leverage in the future.” You quickly dot it down in your notebook, squinting at the barely illuminated page. “Especially if the Duke refuses to pay his taxes again. I’m sure we can get to him through her.”

More minutes pass in silence. Mikhail continues his watch while you start to mindlessly doodle a little Foul Legacy Child in the corner of your page. You wonder what time it is in Liyue. Is Childe also out on a mission or tugged in and sleeping well in a land that knows nothing of harsh winds and freezing nights. Does he spare a thought of home? Is he missing you as much as you miss him or has he already filled the gnawing void with faceless, warm women that comfort him at night?

“Heard anything from our comrades in Liyue?” Mikhail asks nonchalantly, but he’s always been the poorest liar of you three and it’s pretty obvious where this conversation is going. Part of you hungers for that conflict.

“They still can’t find whoever killed the Geo Archon. But Lord Childe might have located the Gnosis and has begun his infiltration.”

Chances are good he might succeed in another month or so, though from the letters you’ve received so far, it sounds like he might succeed fucking the consultant of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor before that. Tartaglia has never started anything serious with guys before, safe from occasionally drunk making outs, but new cultures could change a lot in you and it’s Tartaglia’s first time staying for so long in Liyue and meeting a man like this so called Zhongli.

Mikhail clicks his tongue in disgust. “I can’t believe this guy is over there for three months already and is still nowhere near finishing the job.” He spits at the ground and twists his mouth in a very familiar manner of annoyance—only usually this expression is meant for initiate Fatui members who can’t tell a shotgun from a sniper rifle.

“How can you still be mad at him for handing you your ass three years ago,” you say. A man’s ego is such a frail thing, thank the Tsaritsa for being a strong, independent woman.

“This isn’t about that stupid fight,” Mikhail splutters, red blotches creeping up his neck. His inability to lie is abysmal. “I don’t get how you stand that guy. His arrogance needs its own giant room to fit inside. Someone needs to knock him down a peg or two and maybe beat out this need to whore around as well—”

You move in a flash. Mikhail doesn’t have any time to react before he finds himself on his back, pinned down by your weight with a knife to his throat. “Mikhail, I love you like my own kin and you know I’d take a bullet for you any time,” you growl. “But speak another filthy word about Childe and I will cut off your tongue and feed it to street dogs while watching you bleed out like a slaughtered pig. Are we clear?”

You feel Mikhail’s chest rising and falling under your spread hand, his body warm, proof of his life. How easy it would be to take it from him, to warm the cold, dirty ground with his blood.

Mikhail’s dark eyes don’t give away anything. He’s holding very still, like a cornered animal faced with its hunter; don’t move and maybe it thinks one is dead. Eventually, he says quietly, “If you could see what an unlikeable, unpleasant person he really is, maybe...” He doesn't finish. There is no need to. You know very well what point he’s trying to make.

“I don’t need your supervision,” you say. “Or your pity.”

Mikhail barks a loud, humourless laugh. “Lassie, if I had an ounce of pity left for anyone else than myself, I wouldn’t be very good at this job, would I?”

You shift your weight. Mikhail groans as you put pressure on a wound a Pyro Vision user inflicted on him a week ago that hasn’t fully healed yet—a favour for Mikhail to prevent him from following his train of thought. You don’t know what is worse: His unrequited love for Mitsuki or Tartaglia and you knowing what you both want but can’t have.

Mikhail quietly says your name and gently lowers your hand. The sharp knife has bit into his skin just enough to leave a fine, red line on his throat. “All I’m saying is, I am not the bad guy here.”

He is right, of course. But that makes it even worse, because without a bad guy, who could you put blame on? Who would be the target of your frustration and your scorn? Who would pay for countless sleepless nights wasted alone or in a stranger’s arms?

If there is no good, no bad side, no villains or heroes to put blame on, what does that leave for you? Just the law. It is hard, but it is the law.

There is no one but yourself who carries the burden. Even knowing Tartaglia goes through the same doesn’t soothe the pain steadily growing in your heart. You’re like two stars gravitating to each other, seeking the sweet collision to finally become one and create something bigger, the most exquisite light in the endless black galaxy, but whenever you manage to come close to each other, other forces pull you apart.

You shift your position from towering above him to slumping back on Mikhail’s lap, your anger deflated like a balloon.

“Arguing with you is no fun,” you mumble, sheathing the knife back in its place inside your boot.

Mikhail arches one dark brow. “Learnt from the best. You don’t want to get into an argument with my mama.”

“Are you two leaving me out from a team bonding session?” comes a static voice from your left.

“Darling, we would never leave you out from a potential threesome,” Mikhail says back, a wicked grin flirting with his mouth.

“Blergh,” you groan in disgust and roll off him, grabbing for the plastic piece from where Mitsuki’s voice has sounded; Il Dottore’s newest invention, a voice transmitter agents use for long distance communication.

“So, how’s it cooking, good looking?” Mikhail asks, ignoring your eyes rolling back. “Anything new at the front?”

Mitsuki is silent for a moment. Somewhere, a dog barks. “I think someone might have tipped the Baron off.”

Immediately, you feel Mikhail's body tense next to you. “Do you need us to come in?”

Oppressive silence fills the room. Mikhail jerks, but before he can jump to rash actions, you grab his arm hard enough to bruise. He freezes, and you both stare at the voice transmitter in Mikhail’s hand.

A moment later, static crackles, and Mitsuki says, “I received a note on the caviar shipment. Roads are all clear, it should come in around seven in the morning.”

Mikhail relaxes, but a sweat bead rolls from his temple and disappears behind his black turtle neck sweater. He sags against you, exhaling very loudly.

A couple of years ago, after you three had been working together and hadn’t tried to kill each other as often as other teams, you guys had decided to come up with your own secret language for times like these. Mikhail had first complained about the hours put into learning it the most—the semantics always changing depending on what line of work you’d infiltrate—but eventually even he had agreed it was a pretty neat trick. What Mitsuki has said simply means all is in order and the mission is proceeding smoothly.

“Little fucker,” Mikhail grumbles, ruffling his own hair just to keep his hand busy. You agree. It feels like you’ve aged five years in those last five minutes.

That relief is short lived. A small explosion from the right wing inside the mansion lights up the night like a firework show. Mikhail is out of the window in a flash. You grab your rifle, keeping an eye on him as he crosses the street in a flash and climbs over the iron gate.

Two shadows tumble through the hole in the second floor. You sway your scope, laying eyes on Mitsuki as he wrestles with a cloaked figure. Purple sparks fly, clashing with crimson flames that rise skyward and turn into black smoke. At least something is according to plan even though your Cryo Vision would be more effective.

You watch them fight for a moment, unable to get a clear shot as both are short distance fighters. Mitsuki moves quicker than a flash, whirling two hatches over his head, parrying a deathly bow from the Sumeru’s Claymore. Mitsuki is smaller than most of his comrades. People like to underestimate him, but that’s part of the fun, according to him. Proving people wrong. He dodges another swift strike, rolling out of the way and giving you a clear sight at your target. But over his shoulder, Mitsuki catches your eyes and gives the tiniest shake of his head. Not yet.

You wish he could see the stingy eye you’re giving him right now. You’ve waited long enough out in this cold and your whole body shakes with the need to move, the need to fight. A quick look to Mikhail shows he’s fending off two of the Baron’s guards himself. Luckily, they can’t really hold their stand against a fully trained Fatui agent. He quickly takes out his opponents, closing in on Mitsuki and the Sumeru agent. Mitsuki has driven him to the edge of the forest. So that’s his plan. You wait until the spy is right beneath a long, thick branch, then pull the trigger. The shot is muffled by the silencer, slicing through the air with infused Cryo power. It hits its target, cutting the branch off. The Sumeru spy is too slow. When the branch buries him under its weight, Mikhail finally catches up to Mitsuki, and through your scope you can see him patting Mitsuki down for injuries. Mitsuki pushes him away, not hard or in a mean way, just enough to signal this isn’t the time. The job isn’t done yet.

Mitsuki advances the spy and kneels, looking for signs of life. He looks up, his dark eyes searching your scope. He holds your gaze, picking up his voice transmitter.

“I have good and bad news,” he says. “The spy is still alive, so we’ll get our answers. But now I’m pretty sure the Baron knows what’s going on.”

“Then don’t just stand there, someone go after him, quick!” you yell in your transmitter.

Before Mikhail dashes off, you hear him curse. “Lord Scaramouche is going to kill us.”

He will, considered this was supposed to undergo without the Baron noticing anything.

* * *

Dear little tygress,

forgive my horrible handwriting. I am still shaking from all the laughter your last letter gave me. Zhongli-xiansheng was actually worried for my wellbeing because I had choked on air and almost died. I swear, you will kill me one day, little tygress.

Speaking of little and potential lethal beasts, I’m surprised Scaramouche didn’t use your head as a toilet plunger. I really do think he's fond of you, little tygress. Any other team would be six feet under by now. You have to tell me your secret once I’m back. Scaramouche still doesn’t know I broke his favourite, ugly cup with the bear on the front from Fontaine, and I want to be prepared once he knows.

Everything is the same in Liyue, and at the same time, everything is changing. Rex Lapis’ murder is still unsolved, and I do enjoy watching the little traveller boy run around looking for answers. Once I return with the Geo Archon’s gnosis, dinner will be on me.

How are things at home? I hope Tonia hasn’t finished all mooncakes by herself again and saved some for the rest of the bunch. I can’t bear to hear Anthon cry again about me only sending sweets to Tonia and Teucer. Has the old man gotten in touch with you? He still doesn’t reply to me, but mama says he’s reading the letters. Maybe a bottle of Liyue’s Baijiu will loose his tongue, or hand for that matter. It’s almost as good as Fire-Water, promise.

Till next time and don’t get too much on little ‘Mouche’s nerves, otherwise there will be no room left for me.

Yours, Red Fox

__________________________________________________

please drop by my ko-fi if you enjoyed my writing!

[aphrodite-would-be-proud]

I just read the Erwin date scenarios and it’s so hood AGH could you please do one for armin? Plz 😚

You read my mind👀 ngl I think about Armin each time I write something for Erwin, despite them being alike i like to compare the differences and think they have different tastes and love languages.

Erwin strikes me a more act of services and gift giving guy while Armin would definitely go for words of affirmation and quality time.

Type of dates with Armin PT.1 {pt.2 in masterlist}

{ Armin x reader | tw: none | fluff, romance | modern }

{ "in bloom" by Abbott Fuller Graves 1859–1936 }

Ideal dates : these are dates he plans up ahead, makes sure they go smoothly and you're both are having fun. He really looks forward to these dates, they're like an event for him. He saves them up for important occasions like your anniversary, valentine's day, birthday, etc.

1. Spending a full day on the beach: when i say a full day I mean it, he's driving you there really early in the morning while you're struggling to stay awake in the passenger seat. He doesn't even need coffee he's running on 100% pure determination and will.

You'd arrive before anyone there, to get the best spot of course. It's close enough to the sea that you can feel the humidity of the water in the air, yet far enough from the rest of the beach that other people won't bother you.

He'd understand if you were too sleepy to help him set things up, he'd just kiss your forehead before letting you go back to sleep, promising he'll get you something to drink when the stores open.

You wake up to the smell of your favourite hot drink, just around 8am. The sun is up and the air is refreshing, you can hear the quiet chatter of people far away just arriving here. You sip your drink as Armin guides you to the small comfortable space he made, proudly showing off his work.

Please praise him and give him a kiss on the cheek, he will melt.

The rest of the day is spent with you two swimming lazily in the water, feeling the warm sunlight on your skin. Collecting whatever pretty seashell you see, using some to decorate the sandcastle Armin built with you. He takes a pictures of you at seemingly random moments, he promises to show you when he devolps them later.

You help him dry his hair afterwards, he take you to get ice cream. Despite getting you one too, he still ends up sharing his own with you, and if you're up for seconds he'd happily oblige.

When night falls and the people began leaving, the waves of the ocean get a little higher, wind turning colder. Don't worry, Armin thought about that, that's why he brought blankets.

He'd wrap you both in the same one, even holding you close to him, it's for warmth he says and yet he seems like he was looking forward for this. You help him in making a small bonfire, he brought marshmallows.

The rest of the night is spent with you laying against him while huddled in a blanket, looking at the heavens above and the constellation of the stars.

He takes your hand in his, guiding your finger to where polaris is. "It never changes" he says "no matter what" and from that star, he guides you through the formation of the little dipper.

Just right under it, directly under the polaris, begins the big dipper, a close replica to its little sister.

You spend hours like this, looking at the stars as new formations come and go with the time. You were early enough to catch Aries as it was leaving, pleiades, the seven sisters shining brightly next to it.

And just after midnight it was Sirius turn to say goodbye. That's when both of you decided to call it a night, he hugged you close to him, you could feel his heartbeat slowing down, he was oh so warm and tasted just like chocolate and marshmallows when you kissed goodnight.

2. Going on an adventure and trying new things: Armin has the need to try new things and gain new experiences, despite being someone who prefers small groups of friends and getting lost in a book than socialising. It's something that's been a part of him since he was a child, he wants to experience what the world has to offer and won't say no despite how utterly terrifying it can be to him.

And he wants to have those experiences with you, to share his love for the unknown with you, to see your reactions and share his own thoughts. The only thing that's better than going on adventures to him is going on adventures with you.

An adventure could be anything really, it could be going diving underwater or going to that creepy looking supermarket that never closes, you never know. An adventure is an adventure after all. The possibilities are endless.

So don't be surprised when he asks for you to go with him sky diving for his birthday despite knowing how terrfied he is of heights and how even a carnaval ride can make him sick.

Good or bad he doesn't care, he just wants to try and learn everything. He's full of curiosity and surprises that you'd never get bored, although a good thing about him is that he never is unprepared.

Yes he will take you on seemingly dangerous adventures but know that he really deeply thought about this before hand and is prepared for all the different scenarios that could happen, he likes the unknown but he's smart and cautious on how to approche it.

Not to mention that a single adventure can leave him satisfied for a long time before craving a new rush, probably once or twice a year. Just frequent enough to be something to look forward to but not too frequent that it becomes boring or too repetitive, he manages to keep that balance and walk on that thin line.

3. Hot air ballon ride: just imagine, it's early autumn, the weather is just right to wear those cozy yet good looking clothes, the earth seems like it's turning slower than usual as the trees change colours.

Around sunrise or sunset, both of you are high up in the air, the sun clearly in view with the golden clouds surrounding it. The world managing to look so small yet so vast at the same time.

Armin is wearing his favourite sweater and scarf combo, he's holding your hand in his pocket to keep it warm. It's just you and him isolated from the rest of the world like other people dont exist anymore, and strangely he's okay with that, at peace even.

He brings a camera and captures how the sun reflects in your eyes, how the chilly air makes you rub your hands together for warmth and how utterly breathtaking you look.

Beautiful, gorgeous even, these are the only thoughts in his mind at that moment.

And so Armin made a promise to himself that in the far future, when he wants to be even closer to you, to vow his life to yours, he'd propose on a hot air balloon.

But as much as he likes staying up in the air with you being his angel, the process of booking a ride is much more complicated and time consuming than he originally thought. Meaning he doesn't get to enjoy these rare heavenly moments as he wants to.

He needs to make reservations in advance, not to mention how important it is to choose a trustworthy company. Lastly how rides depend on the weather conditions, needing to reschedule if the weather takes a turn to the worse.

4. Visiting the aquarium or planetarium: he's just a boy with oceans for eyes and stars in his smile, can you really blame him for gravitating towards these places? Or for diving too deep in knowledge about the sky above and sea below?

Whenever the weather is too harsh for a beach trip or the sky is too cloudy for a stargazing night, these two places are his to go backups.

He's memorised the place like the back of his hand, no need for a map. Want to see the shark tanks and how they're doing? He'll take you there and introduce to them and the silly nicknames he gave them. Or how about saying hello to the dolphins who'll show off some moves just for your attention, or maybe you miss seeing the adorable penguins wobble around?

He knows endless facts about each fish kind, he makes it seem so fascinating and the way he phrases the information and coats them in milk and honey makes it impossible for you not to engage.

You both could have a slow with few words spoken walk and it still be as interesting, he'd even make special playlists to listen to while walking around and sharing his earphones.

Meanwhile at the planetarium, sometimes in the early mornings you'd run into kids just arriving for their school trip. Racing each other to the solar system panel and looking in amazement when the stars show begins. You and Armin have a nostalgic feeling when watching them, yet when you look at each other you remember how good it feels like to be grown and have someone special.

You never could get bored of seeing the stars, especially not with Armin.

5. Trying a new kind of art: one time you asked him what does he think the meaning of art is, what even is art?

"Art is communication" he said.

Armin has a deep love and appreciation for all kind of art, from classic oil canvas paintings to old greek sculptures. He doesn't pick a side, he likes both the modren and classic.

Music is art, writing is art and even making pottery is a form of art too. He wants to experience it, not for a need to acolmplish something or to rival Shakespeare, but for a need to communicate his emotions in a more subtle and personal way.

Like a secret language only he can decipher the meaning of, after all he was the one to create it.

Whenever he tries a new form of art, his usual fear of failure and absurdly high expectations actually go out the window. There isn't good and bad art, there's just different levels of communication and different styles.

So to him, the act of bringing you both some watercolours and cotton papers to paint on for a date is incredibly intimate, that's his true feelings and emotions he's showing you. But don't worry, he isn't here to take the whole thing seriously, he's actually playful and mellow most of the time.

Or maybe he'd like to make pottery with you, an excuse to put his hands around yours while sitting intimately close, maybe even give your shoulder a couple kisses while you shape the vase you agreed on making.

The next day, you find the finished vase near the window with a sunflower arrangements inside.

It also could be you two sitting next to each other, working together on a page of an adult colouring book or maybe to each one his own book. He'd hog the color blue most of the time so watch out, and don't lend him yours because he will hog it too.

Or maybe as a fun past time, you'd both attempt to make poetry, expect you're getting more and more drunk on the fruit flavoured beer he brought with him. You had fun laughing while reading what you came up with the next morning.

6. Going fruit picking in summer: it's his favourite way to celebrate the arrival of his favourite season, wear something light, pack some lemonade and go enjoy what mother nature has to offer.

You two would walk around in the fields, he's wearing a straw hat to block the sun, he thinks it looks better on you. Both of you looking at the fruits waiting to be picked, choosing the really unique shaped ones, the colourful ones and the especially delicious looking ones.

You might meet some small friends along the way, like a couple ladybugs that were crawling up Armin's arm. Two butterflies dancing in the air and even a frog that's taking a walk from its lake home nearby.

Going home that day with baskets full of different fruits waiting for your use, Armin and you discuss all the different ways you could use them for, like making delicious smoothies, or maybe saving them for baking a pie or cake. Maybe cutting them in small bites and covering them with different kinds of chocolate, maybe just making a fruits salad to enjoy while Armin reads you a book

Or maybe, maybe just washing them and eating them raw. Yeah that option sounds the most appealing after a day of walking through fields in the sun.

He'd feed you some, push them against your lips and smile when your eyes subtly light up at the sweet taste....maybe a kiss after so he could taste it too?

[myhockeyworld87]

Bubble Wrapped - Part 1

Word Count: 2,683

POV: Reader

Warnings: Language

Notes: Ok so here is basically our introduction to the Bubble Wrapped story. I have no timeline for this thing or even if it will continue, you guys let me know. As a background, this story will be about life inside Hotel X. In case you don’t know the teams inside Hotel X are the Bruins, Capitals, Flyers, Penguins and Lightning. So here we go, Happy Reading!

You'd been shocked when Hotel X had been picked as one of the hotels for the NHL to stay at when they resumed play in Toronto. Even more so when you were asked if you would take over the management of the place over the next several weeks. "Listen (Y/N) we know we are asking a lot. You'll have to live at the hotel with all the players as the NHL is really trying to keep everyone in this little bubble."

 "I understand. I've already talked to Carly about putting different measures in place when the Maple Leafs came to us before submitting their proposal." Carly was another member of the hotel staff, that served as one of their concierges. She knew the ins and outs of the city and could get tickets or dinner reservations on the drop of a dime. That was all before COVID though. Now, some restaurants were still closed and shows hadn't resumed yet. What once was a bustling city, had come to a dead stop over the last several months, though things were starting to get back to normal; well the new normal that is.

 "So we heard." You hoped the blush that crept up your cheeks couldn't be seen on the zoom call as that had become their new form of communication with you. "You've dealt with the players before, we know you can handle it. Though this time it'll be completely different with five or six teams staying there." Most of the players had always been super nice to the staff, though there were a few that could be demanding at times. You prayed they'd all push their egos aside, at least while in the hotel, though somehow you doubted that. "I think you're familiar with the NHL's protocol on their reopening, but we'll email you everything once we get it. Start putting together the staff that you want. Just some core people that you'll need."

 "I've got the right people in mind, don't worry."

 The call went for a bit longer going over specifics. The only benefit out of the whole thing was that they were giving you the Presidential Suite to stay in. Honestly, it was the least they could do; you thought. Of course, the called ending with them saying, "Don't let us down."

 As soon as it ended you called Carly making sure she was on board. "I'm just saying Car that many hockey players in the hotel; the testosterone is going to be flying around."

 "So what you're telling me is you've already packed an extra-large box of condoms."

 "Carly!" You shouted at your friend. "That's not what I was saying at all."

 "Come on (Y/N), I know you're one of Seguin's regulars when he's in Toronto."

 "I'm one of them because I can keep my mouth shut." It was true that when Tyler was in town during the summer or on a road trip the two of you always hooked up. Sort of a no strings attached relationship, though you did talk from time to time. "Besides he's not even going to be in Toronto. He's in the Edmonton bubble."

 "Oh, I didn't realize." Carly despite being from Canada was not a hockey lover, though she did appreciate the men who played the sport. "Well, maybe you should call him and get the scoop. You know find out who we need to be aware of."

 It wasn't a bad idea, not that you were going to ask him who to sleep with, but maybe it would help get a handle on who was going to be problematic, as there was no way you wanted to let the owners of the hotel down. You had a lot riding on this and after all, you couldn't put bitter rivals in one hotel and not expect some drama. "You're right. I am going to call him."

 "Ooo good, let me know what he says and if we should get more than one box of those condoms."

 You shook your head at your friend before hanging up and dialing Tyler's number. "Hey beautiful, long time no talk," Tyler said and you could almost hear the smile in his voice.

 "Hey Ty, how's quarantine life going?"

 "Ugh, don't get me started. I was not meant to be locked in my house without hockey for this long." Tyler wasn't meant to stay put anywhere too long, including relationships.

 "Well, hockey's almost back so there's that."

 "Yeah, I'm pumped about it, though I wish I was staying in Toronto instead. I know some fun that we could get up to since I have to stay in the bubble." He paused and you could clearly tell he was running different sex scenarios in his head. "I'm assuming your working at the hotel."

 "Yeah, it's kind of why I called. I'm one of the ones trapped in the bubble with you guys."

 Tyler groaned. "So, you called to ask me who you should hook up with? Cause babe, I'm not sure I'm willing to share you like that."

 "Shut up Ty, you know we're not like that. You couldn't stay faithful to one woman if you tried." Part of the reason the two of you got along so good, was the fact that you called him out on his bullshit.

 "I might if I could drag you with me everywhere." You giggled at the insinuation of being taken everywhere just so you could keep him satisfied. "You're definitely gifted with many talents (Y/N)."

 "You're not so bad yourself, but we're getting away from why I called."

 "You mean you didn't call to have phone sex with me," and you could hear his pout.

 "No, I didn't call for that. I was just curious if you had any idea who was going to give me problems while we're in this so-called bubble. I'm trying to be preemptive here."

 "Ok, but if I give you some information you at least have to promise to send me a pic of your tits." You mentally rolled your eyes at him; the boy was a horndog.

 "Fine, now spill some tea."

 "Spill some tea, what is this a gossip blog or something."

 "You're avoiding the question Ty, and I'm putting on a sweatshirt." He groaned.

 "Alright, don't get your panties in a bunch…or maybe do." It never ended with him. "I don't know a lot about some of the younger guys that are newer in the league, but my guess is they're all horny little bastards. Hell, I was when I first got in the league."

 "You still are."

 "Touché." He answered before continuing on. "So, like I probably don't have to mention the rivalries to you, but like Caps and Pens hate each other, the Flyers and Pens hate each other. Doesn't everyone just hate the Pens?"

 "I think you either love them or hate them."

 "That's true," he agreed with your statement. "The Flyers and the Caps hate each other as well and don't get me started with who hates the Bruins. Wow, who really put them all in your hotel?"

 "I'd like to know that as well." It seemed like whoever did, had a warped sense of humor and you were now going to be stuck handling the mess that they'd made. "So, basically what you're saying is that it'll be an all-out brawl at times that I'll have to clean up after."

 "Sorry babe, but I think it could be. On the bright side, we're supposed to stay on our own floors."

 "Like that's going to happen." Maybe you should designate elevators or something because you could just see Alex Ovechkin and Claude Giroux getting in one at the same time and by the time, they got to your lobby they'd both be bloody and beaten. "Anything else I should know?"

 "You seriously want me to go there?"

 "I mean...if you want to." You certainly weren't going to ask but if he offered the information you'd tuck it away for later that's for sure.

 He sighed heavily, "You know I hate this, but like Tom Wilson gets around that's for sure and I've heard that Travis Konecny does as well. If I'm being honest there's maybe been a girl or two that's compared us."

 "Really?"

 "That doesn't mean you have to be one of them, though if you are…you better tell them I'm better."

 "Don't worry Ty, I'll sing your praises. I promise." Obviously, you wouldn't be doing that but it didn't hurt to stroke his ego a bit. "Anyone, to avoid?"

 "Marchy!"

 "Dude, he was like one of your best friends. Why would you say that?"

 "Because I know him. Stay away he's trouble." The fact that you could almost see the look on his face as he was telling you was comical.

 "Fine."

 "Oh and stay away from Carter Hart." The name sounded familiar.

 "The goalie from Philly? Why?"

 "Because you'll corrupt him." You burst out laughing and Ty joined you. "He's too innocent for you."

 "Dually noted, as I do not want to be known as the corruptor of innocents." You searched your mind thinking of anything else you could ask since you had him on the phone. "What about Crosby?"

 "Sid?" and he just couldn't stop laughing; you could even hear him try to catch his breath.

 "Why is that so funny? The man is hot Tyler, whether you want to admit it or not."

 He got serious as he asked, "Who's hotter him or me?"

 Thank god you weren't on FaceTime, so you could answer him without your features giving you away. "You are Ty, of course."

 "I thought so, but like the guy is hockey twenty-four seven. There's no way he's going to be thinking about getting laid."

 "That's disappointing."

 "He's about the only one that I'd give you permission to fuck, only because I know it would be impossible for you to accomplish, even given all your talents." You could hear the mischievous tone in his voice.

 "Hmmm, are you willing to bet on that?"

 "What? Like bet, you'll fuck Crosby in the bubble?"

 "Yeah." Did it really sound like such an unattainable accomplishment?

 "What's the wager?"

 "Winner flies out when this whole COVID shit is done and is the other's sex slave for twenty-four hours."

 "Oh, you are on, baby. I can already see you handcuffed to my bed in some skimpy lingerie." He cackled at the thought and it fueled your resolve to win this bet.

 "Don't be so sure about that."

 "And how am I to know that you actually slept with him?"

 Well, this would be tricky. "Well, it's not like I'm videoing it."

 "No, but that gives me ideas for when I win." Maybe you should be rethinking this gamble.

 "What do you want his underwear?"

 "Nah, you could get that in the laundry. But I'm sure you could sneak a pic of him sleeping." God that sounded creepy but if it meant you had Ty as your slave for a day, it'd be worth it and you'd never show it to anyone else but him and even then you weren't going to send it to him, though he didn't need to know that now.

 "Ok, it's a bet then."

 "Too bad we can't kiss on it."

 "Oh, you'll be doing more than kissing when I win, Seguin." Mentally you started packing sexy outfits to take into the bubble with you while thinking of all the things you'd have Tyler do the next time you saw him. "On that note, I better get my ass to work and make this hotel ready for these guys."

 "Fine, I'll let you go as long as you promise to FaceTime me at some point during this bubble thing."

 "I'm sure I'll have a night open for you at some point." You teased.

 "Woman, you better."

 "No worries Ty, you're still my main man; when you're in town."

 "That's right baby, good luck."

 "Thanks for all the info, Ty. We'll catch up soon and good luck in the playoffs."

 You were just about to hang up when you heard him yell. "Don't forget my titty picture."

 All you could do was shake your head and click end call, though you being a woman of your word, you snapped a quick pic and sent it off to him; to which he responded with a drool face emoji.

 The next couple of weeks were a literal whirlwind as you moved into the hotel's presidential suite and got things ready. Beds were moved out so that some rooms that had two queens now had one king in them. The hotel was disinfected from top to bottom. If felt like you were wearing a hazmat suit all the time during this process. A week before the players arrived the NHL staff did, making sure everything was in order and making sure you had things set up for daily COVID testing. Of course, you had everything well in hand and organized per their instructions, though with a few tweaks that made the process more efficient. Overall, they seemed impressed with everything that you had done.

 All that preparation lead up to the big day, July 26th, when the teams moved in. The league had them spread out so that no two teams were checking in at that same time. Tampa Bay was the first in as they traveled the furthest. "You look nervous. Why are you nervous?" Carly's voice came up from behind you as you saw the bus pulling in through the gates.

 "There's a lot riding on this Car, and if anything goes wrong; you know it's going to be my head that rolls."

 "You're going to do great; this whole thing is going to be smooth like a bubble." She started to giggle. "See what I did there…bubble." You rolled your eyes at your friend but did let out a little snort of laughter at her pun. "Well, here they come."

 You straightened your jacket and smoothed down your skirt, before throwing your mask up to go meet your first arrivals. "Gentlemen, welcome to Hotel X." You tried to speak a little louder than normal hoping the mask didn't muffle your words. "We're excited to have you all here. I'm (Y/N) manager here during your stay, anything you need, feel free to call me any time of day." More of the guys filtered in while you spoke to Coach Cooper and a few of the players.

 "Anytime huh?" you heard someone mumble in the background and a couple of the guys snickered. It was hard not to roll your eyes as you knew they were focusing on them with your face partially covered. Someone else said, "She can manage me anytime." That was until someone cleared their throat, effectively silencing them.

 "Now if you'll follow me, let's get you all checked in." Tables lined with a welcome packet and lanyard with their ID on it, were off to the side and you were able to shuffle them through with pretty good speed, then sent them off to their rooms before they had to head to testing. Your information was inside every packet, in case you were needed at any point during their stay. It seemed like you no sooner got them in and the area disinfected then the next team, the Capitals, were pulling in, and so the day went on until all five teams were safely ensconced in the hotel. Thankfully you made it through that process without any problems, even though the Bruins flight was late and the Flyers were pulling in right as you got the last players through.

 It wasn't until dinner, that you encountered your first dilemma, getting a text message from Alexis, who was coordinating the meals. It was a simple message, Get to conference room 3. NOW! As fast as your heels could take you, you headed down to where the Capitals were supposed to be having dinner if you remembered the schedule correctly. You never expected to see what you did though when you entered.

[tobitofunction]

The final is way better than WandaVision one in my opinion as I was so many times close to crying.

Let’s start with Sam as he was mostly the reasons I was crying as that’s our Captain America. Of course he will never replace Steve but Sam is the best person who will fit in his footsteps. His entrance as in the suit was chef’s kiss. Him saving those people in the van and someone calling Captain America was the first time I tearing up, the second when he made that speech and Isaiah saw it.

Karli dying in his arms and he carrying her body back, he never wanted to fight her, he never wanted her to be killed.

Sam showing Isaiah his part of the Captain America museum was so emotional like Isaiah is finally recognised something he never thought will happen. He deserves it so much, his nephew is a little shit but relatable.

Sam using iPhone messenger to communicate with a hostage was smart, the same with Bucky and John using whatever it was called to trick the remaining Flag smashers and John quoting Lincoln was cute like idk why but it was for me

Bucky finally telling his friend about his son and giving him the peace he needed as he finally knows what happened. As knowing is always better than sitting in the dark as he can finally move on.

Does Bucky like the bar girl from the start or Sarah?... nah Sam is the one he has eyes for just look at Bucky during Sam’s speech he looked like a proud boyfriend.

When John appeared I was so annoyed but than he pushed aside his revenge to Karli and tried saving those people but got stopped by The Flag smashers. He’s probably being manipulated into becoming something HYDRA related as the colours of his suit kinda fit? If you know more let me know as I’m just guessing.

I didn’t know their was a post credit scene where he built his shield so I thought people where joking that he diy his shield but than I watched and I was like okay it wasn’t a joke than. Cool

The dude in the car after the flag smashers car went up into flames looked like Kingpin... my mind first when to Penguin but I had to remind my self he’s DC not Marvel lol.

Sharon honey what is going on.... like I’m not against you turning into a bad guy as I will simp maybe even more as that’s hot but... I just stop myself.

Talking about Sharon her being Power broker was something I didn’t see coming and know Karli as well like I was ?????.

Also their is definitely is a movie being set up or a second season as their are talks about a season 2. I’m all for it.

Also them changing to Captain America and the Winter Soldier made my heart melt even though Bucky likes being called White Wolf

Also Zemo is back 😊

[justasimplesinner]

may i get HCs of btna oswald and harvey with a s/o who has depression?

TNBA!Penguin with a depressed s/o hcs:

okay, at first, he won't really know how to handle it all. quite honestly, he won't even think it's "That Bad", so he'll just... spoil you more. which is exactly the wrong direction to take. you'll have to tell him that it's not what you need to make you feel better, and it's even making you feel worse because of how much he's spending on you

truthfully, you'll really have to lead him by the hand through it. you'll have to explain to him how you feel, make him understand that yes, it is serious Oz, it's not just a temporary mood swing, and it might be a little tiring for you. but once you do that, things get better, i promise

he tries to learn more, wanting to know exactly what's going on with you. he'll get you the best therapist and psychiatrist he can, because he really wants you to get better. it'll take him some time to accept the fact that depression might come back every now and then, even if it's technically "cured"

he'll do anything to make you comfortable. whatever it is that calms you, he's got it, your comfort food is always ready to be served, and he turned his penguins into kind of therapy animals so they can keep you company whenever he can. he's a really busy man, and of course, if the need comes, he will throw away everything just to come and help you, but he can't sit by your side 24/7 and he doesn't want you to be alone

there are days when you can't even find the strength to get out of bed, and of course, he doesn't blame you, doesn't force you to do anything, he will let you relax and try to make you as comfortable as you can be, but that doesn't mean he'll let you waste away. all the time, he tries to motivate you somehow, to show you that he's there for you, help you overcome your problems so you can enjoy life, go out with him and your friends or even just take a shower. he understands you're going through a lot, but he is not going to let you stop taking care of yourself and waste away in your bed all the time. he really wants you to make progress, and sometimes it turns into him pushing you to do shit, but he's got good intentions. you just have to tell him to stop and he will

TNBA!Two-Face with a depressed s/o hcs:

Harvey knows what you're going through. he gets it. he really does. he will be very mindful and caring. Two-Face on the other hand... he's more rough. way more rough. too rough sometimes. but just so you know, he does care. he actually does care. and despite denying it, he doesn't want to push you away so just... tell him. you have to be very communicative

Harvey does everything for you to be comfortable. he doesn't want to push you, he doesn't want to force you to do anything. you don't have the strength to get out of bed today? okay, just a quick trip to the bathroom to freshen up and you can lay there all day. he can lay there with you, no problem. he can order you take out. he can watch a movie. he'd love to watch a football game, too. he can cuddle you if you'd like

Two-Face however is not as forgiving. he will fucking drag you out of bed, make sure you're presentable enough to walk around and have you doing small things. maybe some chores, whatever the fuck. he acts like he doesn't care and does force you to get up and stop wasting away, but he won't make you do anything overbearing that could worsen your state more. just things to keep you productive so you don't feel guilty over not doing anything besides laying in bed

both of them make sure you get treatment though. Harvey will sign you up to his personal therapist, since he knows that the dude is legit and will actually try to help you, unlike fucking doctors at Arkham, and Two-Face will do everything to get you any meds or whatever the fuck it is you need. he will threaten, he will raid, he will kill, he will steal - but you will get what you fucking need

they both try to help you in their different ways, but they also both accept you as you are (yes, even Two-Face). sometimes, it's hard - living with them, bearing with their shit. they know that. and on top of that, you have to deal with depression, too - they know it could get tiring, so they try to make up for everything and make sure you feel loved and supported. they'd hate if they were the thing that drove you away, they... really don't want to fucking lose you