#That one creative writing assignment I did while high as a kite

[catullansparrowlet]

The walls are a strange off-white and the floor has a sickeningly green-brown colour. There’s no place you’d rather not be and in the echoes of your faltering footsteps in the seemingly endless corridor you hear soft whispers that you don’t belong here, that you should turn and run while it’s still possible. You don’t run, however, and opt to clutch the handle of your too-big black suitcase a little harder instead. The person who walks a little in front of you suddenly stops, and opens a blue door, to reveal a pastel green room, furnished with light-wooden colours. They stop talking- and you just realise they must’ve been talking to you all the way here. There’s a question hanging in the air and even though every fibre of your being screams it’s wrong, that you don’t belong here, you nod and thus admit yourself to a psychiatric ward.

You’ve been here long enough to realise you’re lost, but not long enough to know how to get out of this maze of greens, browns and yellows. As you’re turning around for the umptieth time, trying to spot a way out of this small clearing, the wind that blows through multicoloured  leaves whispers that you don’t belong and you shiver as brown, misshapen leaves rain down upon you. You know you’re not supposed to be here, but where are you supposed to be?  You whirl around and, upon glimpsing the path that brought you here, you set out in that direction. How lost can one really be when there are only so many possible paths one can take?

The room you meet the doctor in is grey, so is the man himself and so are his questions, undefinable, seemingly absorbed by the very greyness that dwells in the room. Your words are swallowed by the grey curtains, who answer the doctor with answers of their own and you start to feel lost in the hungry greyness that swallows you whole. Grey is ubiquitous, you realise with a start, and the thought calms you down. Everything is grey and in grey you belong. That fragile peace of mind is shattered however when you hear the cushions of the seats whisper that you don’t belong, not here.

Making everything white was a horrible idea on the designer’s part, you think, as you fascinatedly watch a red stain form and grow on what was previously a white surface. You smack your hand in the middle of the red puddle and watch red droplets soil even more of the white surface and you find it delights you, so you repeat the motion, not unlike a toddler that has discovered the fun of ruining perfect things. More and more white gives way to different shades of red, until blue makes it stop. Confused, you sit back and ponder over the change. Red you know and are familiar with, as if it were an old lover of yours, and grey, in all its unfathomable haziness, holds no more secrets for you anymore either, but blue? Blue’s an old enemy you haven’t faced in years, one you’ve chosen to ignore- and it has decided to return. You protest, it doesn’t belong here!  And then realisation kicks in.

Neither of you belong- and that makes you belong.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #479

“war sends our sons to slaughter  /  another failed attack; there is no turning back”

Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes, a video game when I was little. I was so mad, lol. Do you vent a lot on social media? No. I don't want people to get annoyed with me. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I haven't been responsible for any bills yet. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? I can't/don't do either really, but if I could, I'd probably donate to uhhhh... suicide prevention organizations. As for volunteering, definitely something with animals. Have you ever dated someone who wasn’t at all your usual type? No. What is something you have no patience for? Waiting at the doctor's office. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. What’s that you’re listening to? I'm watching Gab play The Evil Within 2. What kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed? We're a couple. What is your biggest accomplishment in life? Still being alive. What is one thing that you really wish you could understand, but don’t? Political stuff. Economics. Have you ever been tutored or tutored someone yourself? I had an Algebra tutor the last time I was in college, and I had to strangle an anxiety attack down because I wasn't understanding the material AT ALL and felt so dumb and annoying. I never did it again. What was the last thing you said out loud (singing doesn’t count)? "It's really embarrassing," to Mom. It really is fucking humiliating that my ankles are swollen from walking/standing more and pushing my desk chair back against the resistance of the carpet. That's pathetic. I'm trying to focus on the fact it's good my body is even reacting to moving more, though. Is everything you have on actually yours? Yep. Do you ever just randomly drive around when you’re upset about something? I don't drive, but if I did, that would NOT be my method of de-stressing. What was the last act of creativity you displayed? Writing an RP post. What’s your favorite department in Wal-Mart? Uh, I guess where you can go see the plants and flowers. Do you find kite flying boring? I LOVED it as a kid. I'd still probably find it kinda fun. Do you have any interest in visiting Japan? Yes, but it's not a massive interest. I've heard the humidity can kill a bitch, and I am NOT into that. Have you ever run a cash register? Yes. I sucked. Have you ever worked as a server? No. Have you ever done the Bratz challenge on YouTube? No, but I saw James Charles do it and it was v unnerving, holy shit. Would you rather paint or carve a pumpkin? Carve. What was your worst experience in high school? My depression as a whole. How much did your senior prom dress cost you? I don't remember. Have you ever been in a serious romantic relationship? Three, if you include my current one. Which part of your body is the most muscular? Uh, nothing? What is the first site you check when you get online, generally? KM. Are you good at creative writing assignments? That's my forte. In elementary school, I actually won a I think county-wide creative writing short story assignment. Not to brag, but I've always been very proud of that, ha ha. Or would you rather just do an informative essay? That's easy for me too, but I prefer writing creatively. Are you more attracted to the badasses, or the goody-goody types? Definitely the goody-goodies. The "bad guys" have never appealed to me romantically. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did if I really wanted to ask something or was confident in an answer. What is something BIG you want to do with your life? Make a difference, somehow. What do you think of people who own wild animals? Do NOT just casually take in animals from the wild. That's selfish and just generally disgusting. If you're going to keep an animal generally described as wild and undomesticated, you'd better have a license and deserve that license. Know what you're doing and be certain that keeping the animal in captivity is in the animal's best interest for its unique case. Are you good at explaining things, in general? NOOOOOOOOO, I suck at that. Do you like visiting the mall? Why or why not? Not our mall, no. Its stores suck/are extremely limited, and SO much crime has happened there. Do you like window shopping? Why or why not? YESSSSSSS, mostly on Morph Market, a mostly reptile selling hub online. You can browse TONS of breeders and literally thousands of reptiles, especially ball pythons. They even have a tarantula section I like to look at sometimes. If you lost your job/home/etc., who would likely help you? If I'm losing my home, I'm assuming my mom is gone, so my dad. Why did you first kiss the last person you kissed? We were a couple and I felt like I was supposed to. At that time I didn't see him romantically, but I desperately wanted to. Funny how we're back together and I've no reservations against kissing him now. Feelings change, for sure. Plans for tonight? Girt and I will probably play some WoW Classic together. We've started playing that together, and it's lots of fun with him. :') Has anyone seen you kiss the last person you kissed? Actually, no. Have you ever been kissed in a car? Yeah. Do you think anyone has feelings for you? I know Girt does. Is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you? My mom. Who last made you smile? Girt, 'cuz he's a sweetheart. Where is your mother? She's in bed in her room. She feels like shit. Like, you would think she WASN'T vaccinated, though her long-time doctor has said she'd probably be dead without it while having Covid. Would you rather look at clouds or stars? Stars. Think about your biggest mistake, would you go back and change it? I absolutely would. Are you dating the person you last kissed? Yeup. What is the most immature item you own and actually use? Um. Idk. Do you always take a shower after you have sex? I... didn't know people did this? Like I know women are advised to pee after sex, but full-on showering? No. Do you like chocolate popsicles? Oh hell yeah. Are your parents proud of you? They claim to be. I don't see how. Are you interested in the ocean? Yeah; it's inarguably so fascinating. Hot dogs or hamburgers? I prefer burgers. Have you ever been to a Chinatown in any of the cities you’ve been to? No. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. Do you have any dietary restrictions? No. Have you ever turned down a job offer? No. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? A dog named Cali that was a boxer mix. Do you ever pray, even if you don't believe in God? What exactly is the point if you don't believe in God...? Anyway, I don't. Have you ever been to Mexico? No. Have you ever gotten stuck in quicksand before? No. What's the shortest or longest length you've ever had your hair grow? To around the small of my back. The last nest you saw - was it a bird nest or a hornet's nest? I think a bird's? Do you enjoy Jeff Dunham? I don't know if I'd like him as a person, but I do think he's a funny comedian. Who is your favorite character from Frozen? I was never into the movies. I do think Elsa is kinda cool (no pun intended, lol), though. I like that she has her flaws. Did you finish high school? If not, do you plan on doing so? I did. Have you been in a simulator that mimicked a submarine or rollercoaster? A rollercoaster, yes. How often do you go out to eat instead of cooking for yourself? Mom and I try to avoid fast food for our health. We do a pretty good job at it, but sometimes for convenience's sake, we do eat it. What is the largest family of siblings that you know of? This is probably gonna come across as very judgmental, but... it really bothers me. I don't know how many kids she has now, but one of the dance moms from the studio has SO many children; I've completely lost count. Now if you want that many kids and can provide for them, that's cool. But that's not the case. She uses the "if God wants me to have a baby, then it will happen" mentality, and I'm just like... um, no hunny. Poor choices are leading to kids you're not adequately providing for. She uses no methods of protection and literally has twins whose room is a fucking closet. Ugh it just really bothers me. What foreign languages were offered to you at school? A whole lot. Only Spanish and I believe French were offered as in-school courses, but there were lots of online classes. If you were required to take a course right now, what would you choose? Photography. Team Biden or Team Trump? Over my dead body would I have voted for Trump. My vote went with Biden. What is an animal native to your country that may not exist in others? Bison are factually exclusive to North America. Note that bison and buffalo are different. What are some of your favorite autumn activities? Taking pictures of fall scenery. <3 What are some of your favorite winter activities? Going out in the snow. :') Especially with a camera. Do you eat a shit-ton the week before your period? uuugggghhHHHHHH yes Wendy's, McDonalds, or Burger King? Wendy's. What's the weirdest question you've ever asked Alexa? I've never asked Alexa anything. Do you prefer your apple cider to be warm or cold? I've actually never had it. Do you prefer your coffee hot or iced? Y'all know the story of me and coffee. Can you sing the alphabet backwards? I can't. Have you ever sent flowers or chocolates to yourself before? Ha ha, no. Is there any meat that you won't eat? Yeah, fish and ANYTHING that comes from a wild animal. Does your cat use anything other than it's scratching post as a scratcher? When we got him a scratcher WITH CATNIP, the lil butthead ignored it. -_- He scratches the carpet instead. Did you go through a vampire craze before? Are you still going through it? Nah. Have you ever forged your parents' signature on a poor test paper, etc? No. Has a bird ever pooped on you before? Omg, no. I'd die. Have you ever been sprayed by a skunk before? No. Are black jellybeans delicious or disgusting? I HATE them. Have you ever rolled down a grassy hill before? I have! I miss that.

[watchoutanny-blog]

Ideas in Form 1D

In 1D, based on the domain research, we need to select 40-50 single words and list them out. Then, from these 40 or 50, choose my favorite 5. For each of these five, write a short paragraph describing what that word means to me and why. Finally, write a story of maximum one page in length that utilizes the five words in some creative way. This story should be a fiction and relate in some way to domains that interest me.

Music:

Music could be one of the most precious present from my mother besides my birth and raising me up. I learned playing the piano from 6 to 16 for ten years. I can also play the flute, drums which I learned in rock club in high school, and the Tin Whistle which I learned in Ireland when I had my exchange student life there. It seems there’s an instrument, a specific sound could connect with every different period I experienced. My mom loves singing. That’s why she wanted me to learn some instruments. She influenced me much. We sang songs together when we were driving on the road. Playing music was the first time when I was aware of my creating things. I also felt satisfied with the moments when people were listening to my music with smiles on their face. Because of the familiarity with music, the sound around me affects me as well. I care about my auditory experience wherever I am.

Psychology:

I was not meant to study psychology in college at first. I always assumed I would learn computer science or engineer in undergraduate degree. With the fail on my exam and the passion to live in capital city which is Taipei, I started my journey in psychology. It totally changed my life eventually. Even I am not studying or doing on it now. Psychology led me to notice the existence of myself and to understand who I was. In different courses, such as perceptual psychology, abnormal psychology and social psychology, etc, I got to know myself deeper from different aspect. Possessing these knowings, I was aware of my motivations and by which I made every decision properly for myself. I could control myself and was not angry at everything I saw without reasons. That changed my life a lot and the relationship between others and my as well. Psychology is much more than just knowledge to me.

Nostalgia:

I chose this word as one of my favorite 5 was because I sometimes felt strange to this word. I am a person who keeps leaving home. I never studied in the same towns or cities from elementary to graduate school. I would attribute it to my family background. It seems it’s my curiosity or enthusiasm on pursuing novelty making me keep going away from those places. However, I know I still care and seek for the sense of safety. I lived in my hometown only until 16. While people first asked me if I had feeling of nostalgia, I felt weird. It’s not because I didn’t have. It’s because I’d even never thought about that. I would say I messed my mom. I would say Taipei was not my home. But I wouldn’t say I missed my hometown. Maybe after living in New York for half a year, I would say I missed Taiwan. I am not sure. So, I am trying to figure out what nostalgia is to most people, and what it could be for me in the end.

Spatiotemporal:

I am watching Flash recently to release some pressure coming from the abundance of assignments. It reminded me of my interests in parallel universes, time traveling, and wormhole, etc. From this sci-fi view on “spatiotemporal”, sometimes I imagine and hope one of another me exists and has a quite different life. But here, I would relate it to music more. During different periods, I stuck to different songs, playlists, and albums. Every time I accidentally heard one of the songs, it reminded me of that specific period, and also, the spatiotemporal details. I started to remember what I did, what I saw, what I smelled, and what I felt then. Under the technology limit nowadays, it never happened again. All the things about that space in that time as the only one existence. And that means a lot to me. I felt upset about those memories even which full of happiness. I felt depressed because I could never experience those memories again. So, that only capability of thinking about those spatiotemporal details is the reason for which I selected this word.

Autobiographical:

I loved to read biographies of famous people when I was a child. I always hope one day I could have my own biography. However, if I want to read it before I die and convey what I was actually thinking then, I need to write down my autobiography. I am not good at writing though, no matter in which language. Finally, I found I could convey my ideas through other ways like art installations, photography and music. That really excited me. Everything I mad could contain my feelings and thoughts. They are all about myself. I also don’t want the existence of any possibilities of misunderstanding. I enjoyed the moments when I was creating autobiographical installations describing myself with my own language.

Fiction

There is an old cabinet in the corner in this house. Grandma said it’s left by grandpa. I never wanted to open it just like it is hard to open my mind again to this house. This is a house filled with sorrow and anger to me. That’s why I chose psychology as my major even that dad always dreamed we could have debates on physics someday. I am not a person who always thinks negatively. I just don’t know what to be happy with. Without doubts, I tried to use psychology knowledge to “save” myself but as you know, it didn’t work. Maybe just because I don’t want to be cured.

Oh, so yes, there is some treasure in the cabinet: a book which looks like a biography of someone and several pieces of music sheet. I had no idea why they were here. I called Nick. I told him what I found. He wanted to see them. 

Nick and I met in a piano studio in my university. I liked people from school of music. They looked really cool. Nick asked for the sheet at first. It took him a while to read it. Then, he took out some sheet from his worn bag and exchanged it with part of mine. He requested me to play the one he just gave me. “No mistake,” he said. I read the sheet for five minutes. I have not played the piano since I left that house. I was nervous because his attitude was so solid.

I played the piano. And the room was spinning with me as the center.

“No mistake, just like you said.” I said. Without saying any words, Nick just went outside. We did not talk until we met my classmate, Suzanne. She was supposed to be in the hospital because of the car accident yesterday. She looked me surprisingly too.

“She’s not supposed to be here,” I said.“Just like you,” Nick said.“I don’t understand.”“The music was for spatiotemporal transferring. The sheet I gave you was for parallel moving; the other one you didn’t exchange with me was for horizontal moving in your universe,” he explained.

I didn’t talk to “her” here, but I followed her back home. I wanted to know if she had a lovely family here. There was a kit with child doodle just hung on the wall in that house which I felt sick at.

I played “Nostalgia,” the same song back. And the room was spinning again as it was while I came.

I opened the book found in the cabinet. It was grandpa’s autobiography for me, only for me, just like that kite.