#That is something I've struggled with
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Hi, I've read your fanfic I Drank with the Devil.I'm wondering how you think the development of your fanfic changed sinceyou've seen Daredevil Born Again, do you think the original idea will remain or will many things change?
Thank you! ♥ (And thank you for reminding me I need to post the next chapter. lol)
So... my fic was something I came up with in 2019 (after watching DD S3 and Avengers: Endgame). I did a lot of planning around that time. And believe it or not, the MCU has already tried to step on my toes about what's in my outline. Especially certain parts of the Hawkeye TV series. (We agree a Fisk/Ronin encounter occurred during The Snap, at least. I think we disagree on everything about it. Haha.) When that happened, I thought back and forth over whether I should keep what I have planned or change it to conform with larger MCU canon. I decided to just keep on with my original plot.
In a perfect world, I would have the whole fic out before Born Again premieres, but I've suffered some writer's block and real life hurdles... so, eh, it is what it is.
So no, I'm not going to let Born Again affect what I have for my fic. (That's not the plan anyway. What do I do if they write something too good to pass up???) It's going to be full steam ahead as is, with a decent chance it contradicts their vision. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#Anonymous#Ask#FiskMatt#Thank you for asking about it#That is something I've struggled with#Since I like to play with canon when I can so a fic feels more genuine and realistic#Who knows maybe I'll get struck with such passion and inspiration I manage to crank out 29 chapters before March#That'd be nice#Well I have the next one done#And the one after is very nearly done#I'd say moooost chapters have something in them#There are only 5 chapters I don't have anything on
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Actually, the bars aren't so bad anymore.
Think you can fix him? Read about his care instructions over at Tiger Tiger)
#Tiger Tiger#ludovica bonnaire#rakkatak ann#I thought I liked him (in a way he has a great design and is an effective antagonist) and *then* he licked the spit.#Now I need to create a lab to study him in. My god. He gives me hives. I need to see more of him NOW.#Something is wrong with him and it fascinates me.#He is everything I like in an antagonist. A little bit stupid and unintentionally funny while being a genuine threat.#I call him rat man they way I want to see him skitter around on the floor.#Call him rat man the way he might need a little cheerio snack and some enrichment.#I am so...so tired and I am struggling to keep the jokes train going.#Please continue to read Tiger Tiger! Every new reader fuels my energy gauge.#Sorry I've been missing so many days of posting. I'll try to make up with some extra posts this week!
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do you have any ghostsoap favorite fics, perhaps?
boy do I....
I should preface this by saying that I'm pretty...particular with what types of fics I enjoy reading (I only like certain character interpretations/tropes/writing styles, etc) so bear with me...
These are all mostly canon-compliant, non-AUs, ones that I regard highly~
Seasons--by StinglessWasp: This is pretty much my go-to fic rec for anyone into CoD and ghostsoap in general. It showcases everything I love about these characters, in a setting that feels as authentic to the games as possible, while also exploring the depth and sincerity hidden under the surface. So well-written and paced--the dialogue and military references all contribute to that 'feels like a mission out of the game' experience. Plus, I just love this interpretation of our boys--the humor, the inner struggles, the intimacy--Wasp 100% *gets* these characters and it's a joy to read <3
Except You, You Can Stay--by Iravaid: While this one isn't *technically* ghostsoap until the last chapter, in my opinion, it's required reading for anyone who gives a shit about Simon Riley. This is *the* character study--an intimate dissection of Ghost's past that seems so realistic and grounded, you forget how ludicrous those comics really are. Ira takes such care in treating these heavy topics with delicacy and effectiveness. Each chapter has you going 'oh wow, this is even better than the last', but as a whole--it's a stunning, fleshed-out glimpse into Simon as the character he was always meant to be. And the final chapter which eases you into his relationship with Johnny is so authentic and sweet, it just makes perfect sense that they should be together, and that this poor poor man deserves some goddamn love <3
bleeding in the house of god--by revolvermonkcelot: This is a really great 'missing scene' fic, a perfect opportunity to explore the in-between moments that the game so carelessly chooses to gloss over. I can't praise Monk's writing enough--it's slick and crisp and very tasty; the imagery just jumps off the page and you can practically feel the sweat. Plus, the dialogue exchanges between our two boys are so well-timed and in-character--love all the slang and British references~ This whole fic reads like an addition to their mission flirting, and I'm all for it! You can truly tell this author has such deep understanding and experience with this franchise (winkwinkwink, this is a joke) Read it--it's good!
The Dead are all Living--by Kabbal: This fic blew me away when I first read it. It's such a unique take on the retirement trope, I just adore this interpretation of Simon as an aging recluse while he builds his home. I tend to lean towards more subtle, grounded characterizations of Mr Riley, and this really fits the bill. All of these glimpses and fragments into his post-military life contribute to an overarching love story; the scenes with Johnny are so poignant, it's like you're pining alongside them both. I love how not-perfect they are; flawed and difficult and real. There are some moments and lines that just....struck something in me so deeply. I'm sure I'll still be thinking about it for a long long time <3
Portrait of Taction--by a_platypus: Another Simon-centric fic that I absolutely love. The character voice in this is off the charts, I can hear him so vividly in all of his inner dialogue and stunted attempts at conversation. Simon is so endearingly dense in this fic, you're just waiting for him to finally get his act together, but the clumsy, oblivious steps he takes in his relationship with Soap are truly a treat to read. I love this version of Johnny too--confident and considerate, but still hopelessly crushing on his superior. It's comedic, well-written, and the paragraphs describing Soap's journal give some of the best insights into his character I've seen <3
come on, haunt me--by flyby2: This was a really good long fic that I took my time savoring. What could have been a typical 'on leave' fic instead took time to develop a unique spin on the backstories as well as throwing our boys into some wholesome encounters. Both Soap and Ghost felt very true to character, and I appreciate the exploration of PTSD and the subsequent struggles that come along with...all that. There was a really nice balance in having their romance spread across the chapters, and I can promise a very sweet, happy conclusion <3
in the mess of it all--by flowersferns: A lovely one-shot that exhibits some of my favorite aspects of these two characters. I'm a sucker for 'one of them is hurt, the other is freaking out, they are both idiots in love, etc'. There are some really great dialogue and character moments in this, plus the overall prose hits hard. Love this take on their romance--the mutual trust, the familiarity of their bond. And just the general theme of impermanence--the inevitability of what this relationship means for them--two soldiers, willing and ready to sacrifice their lives at a moment's notice, still clinging to each other because...god...that's all they have---big fan of this :'D <3
Lapsus--by Lisbetadair: Another really great one-shot and 'missing scene' fic. The authenticity in the writing is spot-on--it's like you can feel Soap's pain right off the bat. I love how smoothly the banter flows between the two, and the attention to detail and references all help lend to that 'hardened military man' exterior. Ghost smelling like flowers because of a face wipe is such a delightful addition, plus the scene where Soap is, ah, donald-ducking it in just a t-shirt with his jewels out is such a funny mental image, I still think of it fondly from time to time. It's funny, it's surprisingly cute, it's very in-character. Stick around for some awkward but adorable cuddles <3
I'm sure I have more to recommend, but these are the ones I can personally endorse for now~
#asks#fic rec#I've never actually done a fic rec list like this before...#a small glimpse into my nightly routine of browsing the ao3 trenches for something remotely readable 🫡#funny how most of these are Ghost centric...#I'm *very* particular on how I prefer Soap to be portrayed and wooo boy...is it a struggle 😔
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on the one hand I think inner demons could stand to have a bit more romanced rook specific content, but on the other hand the underlying in-built implication that 'yours is the one true voice of comfort and safety in my inner world' is a sentiment and intimacy so way beyond the romantic or the platonic or any secret third thing you could care to name that it makes me lose my entire poor little mind a bit. it's so big and fundamental — near-existential — that in that exact moment at least the distinctions kind of seem irrelevant.
all the people lucanis' mind conjures up along the way are relationships he has that are unavoidably mixed and fraught in some ways even when they're also full of love (they are fraught BECAUSE they're full of love) — the good in them inseparable from things that hurt him at the same time. (it's about: the basic disorganized attachment patterns this poor guy is dragging around with him. careful with those, they're dellamorte heirlooms. what you love also inevitably hurts you and you won't be allowed to have one without the other, you have to surrender parts of your soul to hold on to what little you have left: this is the story up until now.) and the idea that rook isn't that to him — that beneath the fear of wanting them when romanced (which is more its own separate thing because within this psychology, actively wanting something and not just clinging on for dear life to even a meager status quo lest you lose it is in itself dangerous bordering on catastrophic), this is a relationship where there isn't resentment, or guilt, or shame, or dread, or rage, or self-hate, or any of the other emotions that keep him paralyzed, unable to move this way or that. no debts, nothing owed of yourself and your soul's substance except what you can freely and safely and happily give. love and freedom don't coexist — but, I mean, you're almost starting to make me think........... unless...👀👀👀. the unconditional and undramatic 'you are here and I am here with you, you can be exactly how you are right now with me and it's safe for us both even though you're afraid it won't be, I'm not going anywhere' acceptance rook shows him here that he returns to them in the big romance scene, when it's rook who needs it. the way he's just. standing there in the center of it all, like a child desperately helplessly waiting to be found, hiding in the place he hopes you'll know to look first. (rook does know. it's one of the first things they say in there.)
in short the most important room in his little mind palace for the romance is the very first room — the one where rook isn't. where, in fact, rook cannot be, because they disprove the entire structure of the place with their existence and presence in his life. with everyone else he's putting words in their mouths about what they think of him, and rook is the one who actually gets to come in to speak their own words to him — and have him listen. ('he'll listen to you, he always listens to you', 'your voice is a comfort'.) of course rook isn't present anywhere else in there — at the risk of stating the obvious to a tedious degree, they aren't one of the locks, they're bringing the key. in the very finest 'the messenger and the message' sort of way.
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#dragon age meta#rook is his first brush with actual safe attachment. and to me and because of who I am as a person#nothing could be more romantically devastating or impactful fhdsjkfhs that's literally the unreachable wistful dream the pie in the sky#the garrus romance echoes too. some of the same stuff going on under the hood here#you know who else he's sneakily like too actually? iron bull. the 'no matter where I turn I'll hurt someone I love' and dissociation stuff#there's that whole line about 'walking close to the edge or whatever'#which is masterful as a diversion b/c what this romance is really about is feeling truly safe with someone#in a sort of weirdly realistic way that makes it struggle with the conventions of video game romance but sure is Doing something!#and I unwittingly made a rook who also is on that specific arc so it's working out just devastating for me thanks for asking#the part in andrea gibson's 'prism' that's like. there is no shelter in the womb it's where you learn the cord that feeds you#could at any moment wrap around your neck. I think that's the initial understanding of love here. which is not good. if you think about it.#I don't think I really write these kinds of posts btw I just black out for a while and when I wake up from the trance I too#get to read what the fuck I've been thinking about finally. corralling that raging electric storm#that keeps overtaking my neurons at regular intervals and translating it into if not sense then certainly words. lots of words#no one is ever more surprised than me to find out what i'm thinking and feeling
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I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.
It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage...#...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them...#...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent...#...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us...#...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long...#...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL#the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate#be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough#recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage'#i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself#and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was#i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want#don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please#and just... give yourself space
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I see you
#genshin impact#genshin fanart#scaramouche#genshin scaramouche#stuff and things#userpharawee#I've been struggling with my art a lot again these past few weeks#it's so frustrating ughhh so manny scrapped wips and stuff that went straight to the bin. nothing to share at all#I hate it#so I needed to do something a little different I think#and I've been playing genshin a lot lately so this was only a matter of time lol#not sure if I like it but at least it's ... something ig
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The Curator. Her name is Gloria Beatrix. [Achromatic Loop AU]
She can summon close-ranged weapons [preferably daggers] using her blood as an offering to the tattoo of three crows on her skin. The Crows will give her a fraction of its power in return.
The tattoo can move anywhere on her body but is usually seen on her neck or chest.
She doesn't physically show up in the story until way later in the timeline.
#tsp achromatic loop au#I struggled to make her look different from my other Curator [White] from the Blank Scripts AU#I don't want to repeat what happened to my Narrators [Black and Grey]. Those two old guys are like twins.#but wowzers look at that#limitations to power#I never thought I'd see the day#I've already thought of too many upsides to my characters powers ahh I want to think about its downsides and limitations too#Magma has helped me out a lot in fighting art block#something about how low quality it can be is really nice idk#i like it. It feels like MSpaint for some reason#tsp au#tsp#tspud#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#the stanley parable#tsp curator#curator tsp#my drawing museum
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winged insect—funeral pyre
#sleep token#vessel#vessel sleep token#sleep token vessel#sleep token fanart#take me back to eden#tmbte#artists on tumblr#i haven't drawn since june#i struggle with my art so much it slowly destroys me#but i finally enjoyed drawing something#tmbte lives rent free in my head forever#the first time i listened to that song i broke down on the bus#in the last two years people tried to drag me down so hard#and i almost did go down#i lost each and every friend i had#(friend break ups are so brutal jesus)#but rn i think i finally stepped on the path of healing#and i try to do what i love again#so maybe this is me biting back in anger#but hey i wouldn't have seen sleep token if i'm with them still#SO the budapest ritual??#that i've seen with my own two eyeballs??#and heard with my own two ears??#and felt in my very bones??#broke me snapped me in half folded me up and then put me back together#(sorry for the rambly tags have a vessel and a bug <3)
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Mission Report [12/27/20XX]
Brief: Nuclear activity has been detected in the ruins of research facility "Tartarus" indicating the presence of a working reactor. Investigate for possible asset retrieval and/or risk of the radioactive contamination spreading.
This is the 7th and 8th drones sent down. As per General ███████ of the Marine Corps, they will be the last for the foreseeable future if the drones end up mysteriously taken offline like all the others.
Fortunately, the Drone 8 managed to get clear footage of the unknown creature that's been taking the drones out (though, it was shut down not too long after by a sudden loss of its battery.)
It is theorized this creature is the escaped subject of Project ██████ once housed in the facility. It is unknown how it survived the explosion from 50 years ago.
Memo from General ███████ : "Change of plans. The higher-ups want that thing neutralized and captured alive--at all costs."
It's been so long. I'm so out of practice when it comes to painting!!
Design Notes | [SPEEDPAINT]
#sonic#sonic fanart#shadow the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog fanart#sth#sonic au#my art#deep sea probe saga#NEW PAINTING YIPPEEEEEE#several things to be said about this one. 1. I've struggled for a long while about the composition of merhog shadow's illust.#2. just the general struggle of drawing let alone doing a painting#3. I actually finished and fully rendered something yahoooooo#this illust isn't actually fully consistent with the design I made but. idc. it was about the Vibes not the accuracy <3#it's not perfect but I think i was able to capture the energy i wanted :]
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Another quick doodle done today (hour or so?)
I messed up with layers in a way that I would've had to fix way too much, so now I just have to be happy with this version. Maybe I'll redraw this one day
Based on this promo pic I happened upon:
EDIT: made small edits to the colored one. That's it
#my art#sketchy sketch#good omens#aziraphale#anthony j crowley#inaffable husbands#azicrow#idk I have to get back to posting even tho it's crazy#I've been struggling with working with commissions I need to boost my confidence in my art aka finish something sometimes#no I didn't add the halo to hide the background.................i swear#I will still post it even tho I disappointed myself
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This was supposed to be a quick little thing to get myself out of art block but I got carried away as always. I swear, Bluey has some of the prettiest backgrounds so I'll probably do more of these redraws at some point.
#my art#art#fanart#bluey#bluey fanart#bluey cartoon#digital art#digital painting#illustration#screenshot redraw#I've been having a ton of fun drawing backgrounds this year#they are time consuming and a labor of love but damn is it worth it#I was struggling with the clouds the most and when I finally got to them I swear something possessed me and I couldn't stop
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I really appriciate how often Machete is depicted struggling and feeling like a burden, while still being loved and supported by Vasco. It gives the top tier angst of "i'm not good enough, I'm not worth it" but you frame it in such a way where it's clear that's just how he *feels* and is not how things really are, but also it's so nice to see someone who struggles quite often in a loving and unique relationship that suits them. The narrative of not being able to love or be loved unless you're consistently healthy is really tiring lol.
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#ah thank you! I'm so glad these themes come through the way I intended#this touches on something that I've been thinking a lot so sorry if this gets a bit ranty#but I have massive personal beef with the sentiment “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else/someone else can love you ”#I hate it with a passion#I know it's meant to encourage positive growth and I get that self-love and healthy self-image are something you should strive for#but it also sort of sends the message that people who struggle with these sort of issues don't deserve to be loved#not until they reach some external invisible standard of “okay I'm normal and well adjusted now”#“perhaps now I'm worthy of entering a relationship without the danger of dragging the other person down with me”#people who aren't in perfect health mentally or physically already feel like they're inconveniencing others with their mere existence#depriving them of the possibility or even the idea of loving and being loved won't make them better#it's just a stupid idiom it doesn't matter but to me it just comes across as unspeakably cruel way to think#and it rustles my jimmies#answered#anonymous
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Loss.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen qing#If you include the 11 bonus comics I've done; this is the 200th comic of PD-MDZS B*)#Thank you all for your patience and support as I have honed my skills and pressed on with uploading my comics.#Even when I have gone through turbulent moments and struggled with stress and grief -#-I've been so thankful to have something that reminds me that I have the capacity to create and bring about joy into this world.#This community has some of the biggest hearts I've ever seen. Thank you for everything.#I can't believe I've done 200 comics for this series. And it isn't over yet! Keep rooting for me and I'll keep on drawing! Lets do this!#“OP are you not going to comment on this scene?” No. I'll let this one simmer <3
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dealing you this like radioactive contraband before I go back to pretending I can't draw
#calla for beauty + obvious reasons / marigold for cruelty and jealousy#and because tumblr has rules I'll just let you know there's another version. And that's it. That's all you get on that#gladiator 2#emperor caracalla#LOOK I. I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES WITH THIS POST#TRYING TO COME UP WITH AN EXCUSE#I HAVE NONE. THERE IS NO EXCUSE. THIS IS INDULGENT.#GUY FUCKS I CAN'T HELP IT#...... I again do not think we have an art tag here. uh.#I'll figure that out later maybe.#I'm playing time so I don't have to hit post on this.#Tumblr if you take this down for the amount of nonbinary-presenting chest I will actually riot#I've never struggled with folds this much I deserve to have this at least stay up until I realise what I've done and delete it#it's been 20 minutes now I'm pretty sure and I still haven't pressed post#I'm just thinking about all the followers who came here for something that DEFINITELY wasn't this#oh well#here goes
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heyyy shoutout to the selfshippers who struggle with feeling lovey-dovey about their f/o(s).
maybe you don't think about them very often. maybe you can't imagine being affectionate with them. maybe you don't gush about them, or you find it hard to articulate how you feel about them. maybe you're not very active on your selfship blog, or maybe you don't have one in the first place. maybe you're neurodivergent or somewhere on the ace spectrum. maybe you're just independent.
for any reason at all, your f/o(s) would understand.
they know that affection is only one aspect of the feeling of love, and they would never assume that you "don't actually love" them just because you're less dependent on them. they would try to understand how you express your love in your own unique way, and they would give you all the space you need without crossing your boundaries or forcing anything on you. they would be patient and work with you to make sure both of your needs are met.
(pro/comship please do not interact.)
#self ship#self shipping#self ship positivity#selfship community#selfship#f/o#f/o imagines#i wonder if this even makes sense#idk. ever since i started taking new meds i've been struggling with feeling any attachment towards my f/o#which sounds BAD but it hasn't impacted any of my irl relationships and i think coming back to this community has helped#i think my whole romance drive has tanked. which is unfortunate :(#but i think she'd understand question mark? i dunno i'm just tryin to feel something i guess#oh and also#safeshipping#safeship community#i may be ace
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What if X felt human emotions more intensely than most? (And maybe have more mental breakdowns than most aswell)
#megaman x#rockman x#ロックマンx#mmx x#mmx zero#my art#fanart#well well well if it isnt me projecting onto X again#I drew this as a doodle at 11pm a few days ago but thought I could do it better digitally#if people want to see the og doodle I can post it#Anyway Zero doesn't know how to deal with X since if anything he struggles with interpreting emotions and not feeling enough#Did I make X have autism or bpd or perhaps both? Only the orb knows for sure#or a secret third thing (ptsd)#also wanted to try something new with the manga style since I've been reading the mmx manga over the past week#i think it came out well
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