#That being said she is a character I love to hate

[redheadspark]

Azriel

character a is getting nursed back to health when they realize they’re in love with the person nursing them to health— or, that they in fact love someone else

A/N - This is great! Thanks for requesting this, anon!

Heal

Summary - You were healed in the night by someone you did not expect

Warnings - Fluff!

“How are we feeling today?”

“Better, thank you Madja,”

“I figured you would be on the mend, just not this soon.  Your recovery must be some kind of record,”

You hummed as Madja was becking your pulse with her wrist, the rest of her body was still with her medicine bag perched on the nightstand and opened half-hazard.  Her tools were out and about, herbs stuffed in vials and potions labeled and half full along the top of the nightstand as well as gauze stained in dried blood and semi-wet towels thrown on the floor.  There is clear evidence of your previous night and what you went through to heal.

Last night was hell for you, literal hell since you were on the brink of death.

The Battle was long and torturous, King Hybern was threatening the lives of all the Courts and all the lives that were lost in the shuffle.  As a member of the Inner Circle and Mor’s sister, you were in the fight to help your people and your Court.  It was such an easy decision for you to jump into the fight, even with the hesitation of the Inner Circle.  Not that you didn’t know how to fight, you were trained in fighting since you left the Night Court with your twin sister in tow.  Both of your childhoods were filled with hate and pain and anger, thanks to your family and what they inflicted on you both.  Mor got the worst of it, the abuse she was was enough for you to leave with her to Night Court to find peace again.

You found it, after some time of healing and making a new life with your twin at your side.  Being with your cousin who was the High Lord, you found that safety you’ve always wanted.  After Rhysand came his two childhood friends: Illyrian Commander Cassian with his boyish charm and playful nature.

And the Spymaster and Shadowsinger: Azriel

You two grew to each other like moths to a flame.  Perhaps it was your gentler nature compared to your twin that made Azriel comfortable with you, or maybe it was your kindness that seemed to spew out of your pore, but a friendship with you was naturally growing.  You found him to be kind and less of a terror than others said for him to see not to mention a fan of some of the books you are reading and going on long walks with you to get to know you.  He loved hearing about your interests and the pair of you joking about the others, which in return made you get feelings for him over time.

His protectiveness, loyalty to your cousin and Night Court, his handsomeness that shone even in the night, his smile that would melt any icy heart, plus much more.  Yet deep within you felt like he was merely a few inches away from you, a bit too far that you could not reach him.  Maybe it was because he worked for your cousin and had a massive job on his shoulders, or that your own twin was weary of you being so vulnerable with someone else.

But you couldn’t help it, you were in love with him.

Still, you had a duty to your Court, to protect it and its citizens.  Which was when you asked Azriel to teach you how to fight.  Your own father never let you learn since it was the place for a female.  Mor defied him on her own, though you were more hesitant to go against him.  Now that you weren’t with your father, you wanted to know how not just to fight but to defend yourself in a time of need.  Azriel, tough bit reluctant with the notion of you ever being in the line of danger, showed you enough to get your hands dirty and also have skills under your belt.  You were thankful for him showing you how to defend, though it could have been more of an excuse for you to be closer to him. 

Maybe it was, and maybe you were falling harder for him all the more.

“You are lucky,” Madja explained as she looked at some of the wounds that were still along your neck and your arms, her trained eyes were fixed on the discoloring where you were hurt, “Some of these could have been fatal.”

“How so?” You asked in curiosity.

“This one,” Madja said with a pointed finger to the deep wound on your arm, “An inch to the left would have hit an artery and you’d bled to death on the field.  There was poison in your bloodstream when the Shadowsinger brought you here,”

Last night was a bit fuzzy: One minute you were slicing through some of the soldiers who were in front of you with ease.  The next minute you were stabbed and you felt so much pain that it made you cry out.  The pain was all over you, inside and out. Almost blinding, like you were lowered in a roaring fire, and as your sword fell from your hand and you fell to the ground ground, the last thing you saw before you passed out was Azriel.

Who was rushing to you and attempting to call out your name?

“He was here tending to you all night,” Madja explained as you looked from your wound to her in shock.  That was news to you, then again you were out cold from the moment you passed out on the field to when you woke you earlier that morning.  Mor was with you when you woke, tears were in her eyes as you blinked at her slowly and she hugged you gently.  Thankful her twin and better half were alive again, even with her twin being pale and looking like hell while encased with pillows and satin sheets.  Between those times was fuzzy for you, almost like you were stuck between dream and reality.  

Mor told you that you were a lucky bitch to be alive and you were not allowed to die on her again, to which you agreed but you asked her more about what happened.  She filled you in with everything: Rhysnad nearly dying but was saved by Feyre, Cassian almost losing his wings from a brutal attack, King Hubert losing his head to the Archeron sisters, it was all to drink it and yet seemed like a fantasy.  But in the end, the Courts were safe, Night Court was safe and well again.  

You were sad to have missed it, but grateful to be alive.

“Azriel…he helped me?” You asked sheepishly.  Madam hummed as she moved to her potions and herbs, placing a few leaves into a bowl to grind into a paste and then adding a few drops of her potions into the bowl to thicken the paste.

“He was here from the moment you were placed in this bed until this morning when I arrived,” She explained, painting some of the paste on your wound with her fingers as you were listening intensely to what she had to say, “He would not leave your side for a moment.  I was swamped with the sound back at the battlefield the I could not come and tend to you.  Thankfully the Spymaster had some knowledge in keeping you alive.  You wouldn’t have been in worse condition if it wasn’t for him,”

You tried to picture it in your mind, Azriel at you’d side like a wet nurse and making sure you were safe.  It felt like it was not in his nature at all, his patience or lack of did not fit in your mind.  You were thinking of excuses: he had other things to do, he had to make sure security was well taken care of for Night Court, he had to help the Illyrian soldiers who were hurt.

But no matter how many excuses you were thinking of, they didn’t matter.  He stayed with you.  All night. And keeping you alive.

What did happen, while you were passed out in exhaustion and in pain, was Azriel, in fact, tending to you.  He filled a bowl of water to wash off most of the dirt and grim still caked on you, dressed the wounds that he could with ease, and tried to lessen the wounds that were a bit more hazardous.  Perched over you in candlelight, his eyes never left you and his attention never waved.  Even when Feyre carefully brought in food for him to eat and Mor sat with him for a few moments before she too left for bed, Azriel was still tending to you as if it was just the pair of you in the world.

He watched him in the wee hours of the morning as you slept, seeing your chest rise and fall, how your hair was braided to the side thanks to Mor and her skilled fingers in your locks, he did think of you as beautiful.  Azriel too and feelings for you, from the moment you met her and Mor so long ago. When Mor was a spitfire you were a calm breeze, your smile lit any room you walked into, your eyes reminded him of the seas high above on a moonless night, and the way you made him feel loved with your gestures and words. 

He fell for you hard, and Azriel was afraid of living in a world without you.

“There, you should be on the mend for now,” Madja explained as she was finishing her pastern your wound before she started to pack her medicine bag, “Now, I want you in bed for the best of the day to going your strength back.  I’ll make sure you get your meals and the proper rest that you need.”

You were about to thank her when there was a knock at the door.  Both you and Madja looked, seeing a head poke into the room.  You beamed, seeing it was none other than Azriel there with a soft look on his face.  Your heart was beating so fast from the sight of him, now knowing that he was with you all night to make sure you would stay alive.  

That flutter in your chest was on overdrive.  

“I wanted to bring you breakfast since I knew you were awake,” He explained, coming into the room a bit more to show that he was carrying a tray filled with breakfast food.  A coffee cup with steaming coffee, buttered toast with scrambled eggs, sausage and bacon, it all looked perfect.  But you were mostly focusing on Azriel who was looking rather happy to see you awake.  Madam chuckled as she grabbed her bag in hand.

“Well done keeping her alive, Shadowsinger.  You would have been a good Healer if you weren’t working for our High Lord,” She commented Azriel blushing from the compliment while she walked to the door, “Just keep her in bed for now, you can handle that, can you?”

Azriel nodded as she slipped out of the room, leaving the two of you alone in the room.  You were watching one another, fondness filled the room like a mist.  It felt like a page was tuned in your book, in your life, where he was intertwined.  Love there was, fizzling under your skin as he smiled at you and nodded once. 

“Hello,” He hummed.

“Hi,” You replied.  And as he watched you eat your breakfast, it was a permanent shift that would forever change the pair of you for the rest of your lives.  Especially since you two would be married within the next year and let your love blossom from there.

The End

[pinkautist]

yo that's so cool about oppy! i love that design aspect -- it feels like it kind of follows his character's idea of being scared of betrayal, and HATING vulnerability bc of not wanting to show anyone his cards (just in case they use them against him). like it's a vulnerable part of him (naturally, with all the backstabbing, and the fact that it's a scar) and so he's trying to keep it safe, not give anyone any ideas

hero is literally my favorite voice ever. i love him so very much and you drew him so cute. i love the swirls and curled feathers in his design. like it gives him a softness, an elegance, while the metal on his beak and the cloak give the sense of honor that a hero (heh) or a knight would have.

(would it be offensive to say that contrarian looks like a Bug? he looks so small and cute)

i love it when people include hearts in smitten's design so much. it's like the classic kind cartoon prince design, with a soft body and flamboyant yet noble demeanor. i particularly like the detail regarding the marks by his eyes.

upon first seeing paranoid's design, i was immediately reminded of the sharp, jagged lines of lightning, something that can be used to convey nerves. it feels very fitting too, given his nervous and jumpy character.

i really really love all of the designs so much. stubborn is excellent, with his rough edges, yet a distinct "softness" (i suppose?) that makes his musculature stand out. i like that skeptic looks like he's wearing a mask across his eyes (or well. a mask in general? his eye area just gave me the vibe of like. robin's eye mask area).

broken's design is very cute, and idk if you did this intentionally, but i like how his full body image has him sitting on the ground with his hands clasped in front of him. it gives the idea that he's praying, which would be appropriate, given that he is the tower's direct counterpart and pretty much immediately wants you to pledge youself to her as she ascends to godhood.

cheated also sticks out to me as having a notable and great design. i like his frazzled appearance, the markings on the sides of his mouth, and his body language and facial expressions in his picture.

another one that sticks out to me is hunted. i really enjoy it when he's shown to be on all fours, and i like to think that he can stand up like the others, but it would feel safer and more natural to be on all fours like that. he could move quicker. the big ear tufts, and the false eyes are a good touch. (also he's a lot bigger than i thought he'd be?? but that's probably bc i'm so used to people portraying him as sparrow-like and being the smallest of the bunch. that said, i appreciate how small contrarian is bc it adds to his bug-like cuteness)

The Voices .

(Like, all of them)

They are birds, but actually not really because they have other animal inspired featuresBUT THEN AGAIN WHAT IS ANYTHING OF THE LONG QUIET?

All of them get the crowns of their respective Chapter I princess's. The tiaras change depending on the princess, no context, no matter that they haven't seen the princess yet(is always more of a symbolic representation, some even mold them out of the path)

I imagine this dust feathers post-construct all got bodies because TLQ did them all by memory and yanked them from the Princess's hearts where they still stayed (in a part of the Shifting Mound still whiting her) or smth close to that. But when they actually became "real" they where put in a separate world entirely, itty-bitty tree house and everything for them.

*Bonus terrible size reference:

[goldentreasuredump]

I love my Beast/Ancient fan kids wayy too much and I'm making it everyone else's problem. So take this lore and art dump!

In this Au (that doesn't have a name yet) There are ten fankids in total, but the "main characters" are the Shadownilla kids. Because of course they are

The general backstory for these guys is that they were made in a lab using the stolen DNA of both beasts and ancients (don't ask how the scientists got said stolen DNA, I don't have an answer). They were created to be "the ultimate cookies" but it backfired horribly for the scientists as all ten kids are more ancient than beast and are far more pure and genuinely good than what was planned. Then the kids planed a jail break, escaped the lab, stole an air ship, and set off for the Vanilla Kingdom.

Now, why the Vanilla Kingdom specifically? Simple! The Vanilla Kingdom is a place where all cookies can live together, no matter their flavor or texture. So of course this would be the safest place for half-beast cookies to seek temporary asylum. Pure Vanilla is also the safest out of all of the Ancients for the kids to go to as this au takes place between chapters 6 and 7, so Dark Cacao and Golden Cheese have already experienced the horror of their beasts and they don't need children who are half beast. So Pure Vanilla becomes a single father of ten for a good chunk of time.

Once they all settle in and calm down, Pure Vanilla does call for the other Ancients to come get their kids but they happens later. I dont have a lot of stuff for the other kids as I personally don't like Mystic Flour or Burning Spice all that much, and the other two beast aren't out yet...

The Beasts have absolutely no clue that these kids exist and are absent for most of story until the kids go off to live with their respective Ancient parent.

The reason why Shadow Milk specifically doesn't know the kids exist is because of Half Moon. She was the first kid to be baked and was made with dark moon magic, she does have access to the dark side of the moon but her powers act as more of a Shadow Milk repellent. Kinda like forcing the same side of two magnets together. So once Half Moon was made, Smilk lost access to the lab, which confuses the heck outta him. And once she's in PV's care, Smilk loses access to Pv as well. Smilk is confused, angry, and I love bullying him.

I should also add that in the beginning, the trio absolutely adores Pure Vanilla and do NOT like Shadow Milk. Like at all. They hate him.

Half Moon can tolerate Smilk. She does want a relationship with Smilk because he is their other parent, but she's heard to horror stories and makes sure to keep a safe distance between him and her siblings cause she has the power to do so. Half Moon is out here protecting her family from the deranged gay jester 🫡

Half Moon and Smilk probably have the best relationship out of all of the kids but thats saying something. The bar is on the floor.

Vanilla Extract DESPISES Smilk and rejects the very idea of being related to him. Extract was literally baked in PV's image and was supposed to be a healer as well, but the little bit of Smilk in him ruined everyone. Extract is the only member of the family who can use or learn healing magic and he blames Smilk for it. Extract is just so full of teenage angst, it's great.

Blueberry Orchid is the baby of the family and is probably the most successful creation out of the ten. She is the living embodiment of pureness and truth baked into a baby sheep girl. Orchid is incapable of lying and is basically a human (cookie?) lie detector. Smilk annoys her because she knows he's lying to her, so she ignores him every chance she gets in that sassy child way! It amuses everyone else but Smilk's poor ego cant handle the amount of sass this child is giving him.

Shadow Milk has to win over each kid and PV but they will eventually be a happy family! But it will take a while. Im an absolute sucker for domestic fluff and the idea of these two raises children (One young adult, a teenager and a child) is so so so amusing. I need that found family, I need the angst and hurt comfort, I need Shadow Milk to step up and be a better guardian cause he's doing a shit job with Candy Apple and Black Sapphire! Shadow Milk dad redemption here and now!!

[selfloverrrrrr]

An insult

Warnings : smut , heavy smut, unprotected sex, rough sex, Noncon, revenge, bratty reader, physically and emotional abuse, biting, torture, size difference....

( All characters are aged up/18+)

Minors Do Not Interact

Read the warnings carefully....if you don't like my stories block me not report

Gojo's POV

Y/n...she knows all of us from when we all joined jujutsu high. Because she's the only daughter of principal Yaga. In short she's a bitch! She thinks she owns everything just because she's the daughter of the principal. I especially don't know why... She hates me. A lotttt. And always make me get punishments from the teachers for no reason!

I can kill her if I want to. She even knows that. But I can't because she's the daughter of the fucking principal. And she also knows it damn well that I can't do anything. She pisses me off. But oh godddddd she's so damn hot. 10 years passed. She's become MORE hot than those days. Every time I see her. She makes my heart skip a beat.

But if she shuts the fuck up for a second. Can she just not talk to me normally for a second?! She's goddamn lucky that she's Yaga's daughter. She also works in jujutsu high. That's why I can see her more often. God that pretty face, that sexy body. How can't a guy fall for it. Oh the way I can ruin her. Make her beg for more......

But she hates me. I don't think she hates anyone more than me. It was lunch break. I went inside the office and sat on my chair. Shoko and y/n were already there. I stretched my legs on the table. I looked at y/n and smirked. She's currently busy checking a file. "Why are you wasting your lunch break with those stupid files?" I asked.

"at least I'm not wasting my life like yours" she replied. There she starts again! "You think being the strongest is a waste of life?" I asked. "Idk about being the strongest.... but being Gojo Satoru is really a waste of life" she replied. "You know what?-" but Shoko didn't let me finish. "Alright alright you two shut up and I'm going out for smoke. Don't kill eachother " she said and went out.

Y/n's POV

Lunch break was almost done. I went up from my seat and was about to get out of the room. "Wait. I wanna talk" Gojo said. "What now?" I asked. "You know I'm having free time after a long time next week" Gojo said with a grin. "Ok. Congratulations to you" I replied. He rolled my eyes. "Y/n come on! Can you please not act like you just don't know I love you. Ik that yk." He replied.

"yeah I know. And what do you want me to do? Like OH MY GOD GOJO SATORU??? YOU WANNA DATE ME???? You want me to act like that?" I asked. "No. At least don't ignore my flirting" he said. "Those are shitty flirting. And what do you want me to react? Like I'm gonna spread my legs or something?" I asked. "I think the word bitch was invited because of you" he said.

"well thank you... that's a compliment for me" I replied. "I'm pretty sure you have lost your brain somewhere" he said. "Atleast I didn't lost my bestfriend like you did. And look at the plot.... you met him after 10 years and he got killed by you" I replied. And the look on Gojo's face. If looks could kill anyone I would have been DEAD! Did I really said too much? Cause for the first time I was scared of him.

He was silent and looking at me with anger. Then he took a deep breath and smiled. He went up from his seat. No no no this is bad he's scaring me! He started walking towards me and I walked backwards. Until my back touched the wall. He was now standing in front of me. I was looking at him with scared eyes. He leaned towards me. Faces inches away. His smile was so creepy.

My heart felt like it's gonna burst now. Idk if he was about to say something but in that moment Yaga came there. "Gojo? Oh you're here. God! What are you two doing? Quarrelling again?" He asked. "Anyways. Gojo you're not having free time next week. None of us going to have it. We all are going shibuya today. There's someone put on a veil which only wants you to be in there. We're moving there today" Yaga said. Gojo just nodded and went out.

As they both went out. I sit on my seat. My hands were shaking. Fuck fuck fuck fuck..... okay clam down clam down. I told myself. I almost saw my death there. I know he can kill me in seconds if he wants to. Did I really say too much this time? I was thinking when Shoko entered. She almost rushed into the room. "gosh, you're alive? Thank God. I thought Gojo already killed you" she said. I tried my best not to look nervous. "Why?" I asked.

"Gurl in my whole life I've never seen him with that much rage. The door outside of our corridor? He slammed that door close and it literally broke into pieces! He didn't even look back. Did anything happen between you two?" She asked. "W-what? NO. I mean ofcourse not" I replied. "You sure? He was really angry... like I've never seen that man in that much rage" she said. "No nothing happened.... let's just go home. We have to go to Shibuya today evening" I said and we both headed out.

We all went to our home to pack all of our bags. But the tension was circling inside me. Y/n relax...he won't do anything. Of course he won't.... You're the daughter of yaga... I told myself. "You done?" A voice came and I jolted. "Oh dad, you! You scared me. Yeah I'm done" I replied. "Okay then let's go" he said and I nodded. The journey wasn't that concerning cause Gojo wasn't in our compartment. When we reached Shibuya we couldn't go to the Vail cause it's only for Gojo. We were fighting the curses out side when the news came that Gojo got sealed....... then the mess began.

[So many people died. Sukuna took over Yuji's body and created a huge mess. Yaga got executed. Then Gojo Satoru got unsealed.]

Gojo's POV

"ah fuck my shoulder hurts.... gonna sleep on the mattress after soooo long time" I said and was unlocking the door of the hotel room I bought for myself to stay. But couldn't get time to stay here for a day because of the seal. Everyone got their own rooms in hotel tho. Of course we sorcerers have to stay somewhere. I stretched my arms and went inside. Then clicked the door shut.

I took off my shoes. Then walked inside. Washing my face and taking a shower I went inside the bedroom. And and and.... what I see there? Y/n laying on my bed. Sleeping deeply. Clinging on the side pillow. Her satin night dress rode up her hips. Revealing her panties and fuller ass. A smirk came on my lips. But what is she doing here? I picked up my phone and called Shoko.

"hello?" She answered the call. "Shoko, I didn't expect this surprise for me" I replied looking at y/n's figure. She's breathing calmly. "What surprise?" Shoko asked. "Y/n in my bed" I replied. "Ohhhh...I totally forgot to tell you... The room she booked for herself was destroyed after Sukuna's attack. And you were sealed so we gave her your room's kye to her to use it. You can use my room and I'll use yours with y/n" she replied.

"Shoko..... Yaga is dead now. Isn't he?" I asked. "Yeah... Almost 3 weeks" she replied. "So you still think I'm gonna leave my fun for which I waited for years?" I asked with a grin. Shoko laughed on the other side. "Yeah..... fine. Do whatever you want. Buy me an expensive wine tomorrow and some cigarettes" she said. "Oh I'll buy you 5 bottles" I replied and ended the call. "Now now now....we had some shits pending" I said and climbed on the bed.

Y/n's POV

I was sleeping. Suddenly I woke up. I felt something weird. Something wet on my... stomach? I opened my eyes and backed away thinking it's a curse. Then realised it's Gojo sitting infront of me? He was giving open mouthed kisses on my belly? I was shocked, scared, confused at the same time. "W-what are you doing?!" I asked. And he was smirking at me?!

"first of all you're in my room" he replied. "When the hell did you get unsealed?!" I asked almost loudly. He was staring at me. As if this is my nightmare. "Today. And....You still disrespecting me?" He asked and grabbed my leg and pulled me towards him with his one hand and made me sit on his lap. I screamed when he did. I knew it's not because I just talked like that... it's for the old matter. I heard him chuckled.

"you're already scared of me? We didn't even start talking" he said gripping tightly my leg. "Gojo I got injured in that leg stop gripping it tightly" I said trying to lose his grip. "Then you should spread your legs willingly or it'll hurt you" he said. "H-huh?" I was stunned. Is he really going insane?! "You heard me" he said with a smirk. I started panicking. "Gojo listen I'm sorry... i-i shouldn't have said that" I apologise.

He chuckled. So you know how huge mistake you've done?" He said. His hand trailing under my dress. I tried to stop his hand. "Gojo P-Please... don't do this I'm sorry" I said. "Yaga died and your so called ego died too?" He said. He grabbed me by my hair and kissed me. I pushed his chest and he didn't move an inch?! He forced his tongue inside me. "I knew you'll taste good" he said.

"Gojo Stop this! P-Please" I was so scared. "Oh we're just getting started I'm gonna take revenge of all your bratty attitude of all those years" he said and trailed open mouth kisses from my jaw then neck then collarbone. I tried to pull his hair. But no no no. No chance. "Why are you still dressed?" He said between kisses.

He tore off my dress. I tried to stop him but my strength was nothing for him. I was just left in my panties. "No bra? You were waiting for this?" He asked and leaned to lick my nipple. His was teasing too much. I moaned. He continued his teasing licking and sucking on my nipple. With his one hand he grabbed my other boob and squeezed it roughly. I screamed so loudly.

"Leave me... P-Please I beg you.... Gojo please" I begged. "Baddie is begging now?" He said with his smirk. When he was done playing with my nipples and boobs he got up and started taking off my panties. " Gojo please...." I begged again but he didn't listen to me. He brought his face close to my pussy and licked it. "Oh...someone is wet~.... so you're liking being a slut huh?" he whispered with a smirk.

He took off his pant. His huge length was out now. My eyes widened at his length. It was too long and too thick. "What slut? Thinking can't take it?" He said. He grabbed his dick stroked it two or three times then line it with my entrence. I began to panic. " Gojo Gojo no.... please no .... Gojo please no... It's too big.... it's not gonna fit." I sobbingly begged him. " should have think before you open your bitchy mouth... especially that day" He whispered in my ear.

"I won't I won't... P-Please I won't again" I cried out. He slammed his whole dick inside me in one slide. I screamed. He didn't even give me time to adjust his size and started thrusting in and out roughly. I was through my legs with pain and begging him to stop. And he liked it so much. His thrust became harder and harder. I clenched around him tightly and he moaned loudly " ughhhhhh....ahhh s-so...ahhhh....so f-fucking tight " he started rubbing my clit with his thumb and I bite his shoulder scratched his back to control myself.

"Look at yourself whore....fucking clenching around my dick like a whore you are" With a few more thrust I came. He again smirked at me. He was still thrusting roughly. I felt his cock pulsing inside me. I tried to push him away with all of my strength." Ughh...no no no no...ahhhhhh...no please no....ahhhhhh..... n-not ahhhh.....not inside..." I moaned. He grabbed my throat and chocked me down to the bed. " Shhh.... shut up and just fucking take what I'm giving you." He screamed. I was crying like an helpless.... "Gojo P-Please I won't do that again" was the only thing coming out of my mouth. Vision was blurry by my tears. Within a minute he came inside me I could feel his seed inside me. He didn't pull out yet.

"you know I deserve everything I want. I didn't say a shit to you for whatever you said just because you were yaga's daughter and I always liked you. If it was anyone else... would've dead from the first day " he said looking at me. He leaned towards me. "And you know what... you're hot. And ofcourse I'm the only one who's gonna get you anyways..... so how does it feels to fucking up your own life?" He whispered in my ear and chuckled.....

Give me your requests guys....

I love when you give me your requests 💕

[killerlittlerejects]

Why I No Longer Support Anton Morrow Or Blessed Be The Wicked

Okay, we're finally doing this. As always: Do NOT harass anyone involved. This is not what this post is for.

So, this has been a long time coming. I know I keep repeatedly saying that I don’t wanna cause drama but at this point? It’s not even a drama anymore. There’s a glaring issue that’s been circulating the fandom for a while, and up until now, people have either been ignoring it completely or are too scared to say anything at all — which is understandable. I’m frankly scared to be finally making this post. But with most of the fandom beginning to speak up on this, now is a better time than ever. 

You’ve all most likely seen my latest, very angry, Jeff rant post, and some of you might have already put together as to who it was about: Anton Morrow, the creator of Blessed be the Wicked.

If any of you remember the whole “mistype” situation that happened in 2024 revolving around BBTW, you already know I have gotten into a bit of a spat with him before. Then it was all cleared up, and we were chill. But now, with all that’s been happening, I’m starting to question that situation as well.

When it comes to creepypasta, you gotta acknowledge and respect both sides of the fandom, because more often than not, they tie together. Anton, however, doesn’t do this at all, creating a space where people feel unsafe and uncomfortable like they have to walk on eggshells. 

We are not mad at the fact that you are trying to make BBTW horrifying, grotesque, and realistic. In fact, a LOT of people were hyped for your project. No, we’re mad that you have to be an asshole about it. Shaming anything that doesn’t fit into your view of what a character SHOULD be, hating on the fandom way more than you claim to love it, villainizing characters that should not be villainized, like Jane, who’s a VICTIM of Jeff, not doing proper research (apparently not knowing that Clockwork was an SA victim despite her being your “favorite character”), being a fucking hypocrite (hating shock value yet using it in your work as well), and most of all, claiming to be bringing back the old roots of Creepypasta when you don’t even understand or know what those roots are. 

This fandom has ALWAYS been cringy, weird, and unrealistic. I mean, we have a tall faceless man in the woods, a magical black and white clown, and a guy whose skin turned completely white because of BLEACH. This fandom was never realistic! 

You can only use the “I mistyped” or “you all misunderstood me” excuse so many times.

Are you telling me you didn’t mean ANY of this?

Like, if I recall, David Near’s, MBK’s, Pastra’s, AND Ekatlani’s Jeff’s are NOT soft boys at all. But you refuse to acknowledge that, don’t you? Because even if they are closer to what you claim to be looking for within a Jeff rewrite, you still hate them because they weren’t what YOU THINK the character could be. 

But somehow, that’s not even the worst part. No, the worst thing has to be what you’ve done to Leech. Characters change, I understand that. My personal gripe with her not being the character I initially was excited for anymore is just my personal bias. What’s NOT, however, is the relationship you’ve put her in with Tyrant. 

Now, I’m all for toxic relationships. I’ve written them myself, but this? This is straight-up fucking grooming. It’s non-consensual, and you straight-up called Tyrant PREDATORY. 

And the fact that you tried to edit your post to hide what you said first tells me all I need to know.

Not to mention, you continuously like to bring up how much YOUNGER she is than the other two (Context: She's in a poly relationship with Tyrant and a character named Marc)

This goes past a toxic relationship, this is straight up fucking CREEPY. You admit that Tyrant is using his VICTIM, cause that’s what she fucking is, as a way to feel like he’s not all the negative, that “he deserves love.” No. Just no. 

I’m disappointed. Tired, angry, and disappointed. I thought you were a cool guy, Anton. I thought all of you were cool. I was genuinely excited for Blessed Be The Wicked, as I’m sure a lot of the fandom was. But you showed your true colors the moment your project began to get popular. 

Not so politely, fuck you. And if all you can do is complain about is the fandom having fun, fuck off. 

[mrkeatingsblazer]

defending the characters does equal loving the fandom are you okay? Bens in the wilderness with a bunch of teenagers who don’t listen to him. We see that play out the second Lara Lee asks him what he’s gonna do about it when she goes on the plane. ITS A PLOT POINT. It’s literally why Jackie dies; she signifies change in leadership and unlawfulness. Coach Ben being an adult does not matter to the girls anymore, it’s why mitsy was so okay with drugging him because in her mind he’s still holding onto civilised laws and that’s not an excuse for rape even if she thinks he wants her. That’s an excuse I see so much and it’s disgusting. And on mitsy and Ben; that girl took off his leg without barely thinking and has shown multiple other signs of mental illness that from someone in the show could look like her potentially snapping and becoming dangerous.

It’s a tactic many victims use; easing their oppressor into a state of comfort because he doesn’t know how this crazy girl is gonna react. You saying that he shouldn’t be around kids is so strange. Like what do you think he’s a pdfile?

Saying that what happened at doomcoming “wasn’t the best” is why I hate you fans, doing exactly what I said by pushing everything about the boys away or seeing it as less important. It being a women show shouldn’t mean the fandom should become a bunch of femcels who hate the guys. Shauna jerks off to a picture of her daughter and her boyfriend? Completely fine who cares Shauna is complex. Travis, a teenage boy in the 90s, saying something sexist in the first season- fuck him, im thankful he dies, doesn’t deserve anything. The same can be said with Ben who the fandom villainies’ because of his age. AGE DOESNT MATTER IN THE WILDERNESS. He has no power. The fact you think that what he’s done is so bad compared to the rest of the girls is mad. He has to die? But not the group eating people? (love those little freaks but point still stands).

Also telling me not to talk about my opinions on the show is so weird. Public platform, public opinions. You also attack a character you are gonna get fans of that character on your back. If you don’t want “debates” don’t post hate posts.

“omg poor coach ben someone save him from misty” i hope he meets his demise at her hands actually

[mikuchan]

Notes and thoughts on my Araj Oblodra tag dive. This one is long.

Everyone loves an evil woman (unless she's mean, and a woman).

Oh boy! I started Araj because I'm too busy lately to keep tackling Orin or any of the DA tags, so I thought I'd bang out some ~100-tag characters. With only 122 English language works, Araj has a pretty small tag that manages to be an unsurprising but illuminating facet of the BG3 fandom experience.

Like I said on the infographic, 85% of works tagging Araj also tag Astarion; going further with that, in over half (59%) of works tagging Araj Oblodra, she is only in the story to act antagonististically towards Astarion. The criteria for this was: Araj seeking Astarion's blood in an impolite/creepy/pushy way, hurting people close to Astarion, or treating him in any kind of rude, demeaning, or abusive manner; and she has no separate interactions or plot points.

This number jumps to 71% when mistags are removed.

Over a third of her works total specifically follow her exact canonical in-game role.

I divided her tag presence into 5 roles because of this: Main, Side, Minor, Mistag, and Canon Antagonist. In Canon Antag works, whether she appears for a single scene or an entire fic, Araj does not deviate from canon. She says her game lines verbatim, and if/when Tav attacks her later, she does not have any further unique dialogue or actions except for like, dying on the ground. If she deviates from canon in any way, this shifts her role into main, side, or minor. (Here is a deeper explanation of how I sort roles.)

Of all the fics tagging Araj, an alarming amount go on to have her screamed at and assaulted. She's choked, stabbed, sliced, beheaded, dismembered, grabbed by the collar and spat at, called a bitch in all caps. I get it, kind of -- it's fun to imagine how you or your Tav would confront a bully, and Araj is distinctly a bully. But it's a little jarring when we consider how few other characters receive this treatment.

Lady Esther, for comparison, is a nearly identical character: a selfish merchant who profiles and belittles a companion while making a dehumanizing request. There are four works total tagging Esther on AO3. One of these involves her crimes against Lae'zel. (so for Lae'zel, that's 1 anti-merchant fic per ~6k works)

Lann Tarv, the bugbear merchant found in Moonrise Towers, is also similar: offering a material deal in exchange for triggering a companion's past traumas. There are two fics tagging Lann Tarv on AO3; one of these is about him and Karlach. (so for Karlach, that's 1 per ~8k works)

For Astarion, who is tagged in 21,817 English language works, there's 1 anti-Araj fic per ~300 works -- over twenty times the rate of those mentioned above.

So what makes Araj so different? Why do Astarion fans care so deeply about her?

This is rhetorical. We know why Araj receives this kind of hate and backlash while others go ignored or enjoyed. She's not a woman hurting other women like Esther, Viconia, or Orin do; and she's not an abusive man, like Cazador, Raphael, Gortash, Ketheric, Lann Tarv. Instead she's committed the cardinal sin of being a woman who is mean to a hot white guy, so she deserves to be called a bitch and kicked until she spits up blood and dies -- or at the least, used as a mean little stage-prop for someone else's growth. No further character exploration needed.

I'm not arguing that Araj Oblodra is this misunderstood character who deserves only love and cinnamon buns. I'm also not saying we need to coddle her because she's ~just a girl~ or something. She's a self-serving merchant who dehumanizes and triggers Astarion, and isn't apologetic about it. She'll give you a potion to make you explosive. She's got some sketchy experiments going on.

But she's also like...not that worse than a lot of other characters in the game. She's not even really worse than Astarion himself, who is also nasty to a lot of people (he's funny, but he's an asshole); also iffy about consent (just bites you in the night); is not apologetic about chunks of his past (the Gur, their kids); and is equally self-serving at times (wanting to ascend despite the blood toll).

I'm not saying Astarion is some awful, irredeemable character, either. Both he and Araj are complex characters operating within their own unique set of morals, seeking personal power to right past wrongs and traumas.

Together they paint a good picture of the problems in the BG3 fandom, and really, fandom as a whole. The martyrdom of a hot white blorbo guy; the demonization of a woman; the often-female OC swooping in to uphold this status quo; the relative fixation on the whole melodramatic scenario.

I'm sure some people will disagree. Before you do, stop!

Do not tell me about how your Tav is super deep and well-written and so it's actually really feminist of her to kill Araj for her vampire lover. Awesome for you. Take that energy and write something about Lady Esther, and then we'll talk.

The rest of Araj's stats were pretty predictable. She leans hard towards Explicit and Mature ratings, which isn't surprising. I like the ones where she and Minthara interact, always fun to see drow from different Houses working together (or against each other!). I also like the idea of Araj x Aurelia, the tiefling vampire spawn.

[youareatragedy]

This scene alone is the biggest reason I can’t bring myself to give Rhys even a sliver of grace in ACOSF. Fuck him and what the fuck is wrong with SJM that she created this disgusting scene in the first place? I swear if I hadn't already hated Rhys at that point, my disgust for him would have skyrocketed because of this scene alone.

Remember, all of this happens in ONE scene.

The audacity of him to try acting like a hero when he knows nothing.. NOTHING about what's going on between Nesta and her friends. Nothing but him just being a disgusting self righteous fuck 👇

Nesta putting up her boundaries. Boundaries that of course get ignored again and again in the series. Even Cassian noticed this time that Nesta was so uncomfortable he felt the need to "comfort" her 👇

And all of that? All the antagonizing bs Rhys did to Nesta? It was HIM that made Gwyn uncomfortable! HIM! It wasn’t Nesta, it wasn’t Cassian, it wasn’t Emerie. RHYS made her uncomfortable to the point that she moved away from him 👇

Rhys was so disgusting that even Cassian stopped licking his ass for a minute to remind him that he was being unnecessarily cruel toward Nesta. Even Cassian was annoyed by Rhys! CASSIAN! The same man who dragged a suicidal woman to hike a dangerous mountain "for her own good" 👇

The so called "Feminist King" 🙄 only realized he went too far because Cassian (another man) said so. And he also lied when he claimed he would never hurt anyone Feyre loves. Because guess what? In HOFAS, he still at the very least made Nesta feel like he would kill her just because he was too lazy to do the job himself. If he thinks he should control everything and be the only one making decisions, then why didn’t he insist on going with Bryce himself? And why the hell was he offended that Nesta gave her weapon to someone else to save another universe (and ultimately their own)? Control freak. Think about that. It wasn’t about “his mate is pregnant so he's more posessive” NO. Rhys was just drunk on power and a powerful person like Nesta irritates him to no end. Because unlike Mor, Amren, Cassian or Azriel who are powerful but bow down to him, Nesta doesn’t 👇

Fuck. You. Very. Much. Feminist. King.

SJM, I hope you have the life you deserve for making people fawn over a character as disgusting as Rhysand and convincing them they have to defend him like he’s their savior. You’ve brainwashed people. You need years of great therapy. I sincerely hope no one ever picks up any of your works for a TV or movie adaptation because you definitely don’t deserve more money.

[softlypaintedseafoam]

my controversial one piece take: i think a lot of people misinterpret garp's character/the role he plays in the narrative LET ME EXPLAIN

the majority of fandom, from what i understand, views garp as a good guy to be sympathetic towards bc he is constantly forced to choose between his family and his career. BUT!! IN MY OPINION!! i don't think that this is meant to be seen as something to sympathize with, or that he's meant to be read as a good guy in general. just walk with me for a second.

is garp TRYING to do good? yes. that's why he's in the marines. he wants to help people and he thinks he can fix the system from the inside (ie training the next generation of soldiers, like koby and helmeppo, do carry out justice the "right way").

BUT! marineford showed us that in the end garp is not prepared to speak up when the marines commit obvious and egregious acts of injustice--like the death of ace. you would think that of all people he would stand up for his grandson would be one, right? apparently not. and that's devastating on a lot of levels. bc it's obvious that he loved ace, and luffy, and didn't want them to be hurt, but at the end of the day it wasn't enough to make him take action.

dadan's reaction to ace's death, i feel, was supposed to act as a vehicle for the audience to say their piece too: she tells him to his face that what he did was wrong and that he's a bastard for continuing to choose his job over his family

(like i said this is just my opinion garp stans don't crucify me 😭)

i heard no lies in hot take fr

garp is truly an interesting character to behold. he hates the system and the celestial dragons and wants the next generation of marines to do better. he wanted so much for ace and luffy, to have lives beyond just who their fathers are. you can even say that where he failed with dragon, ace and luffy, he is avoiding doing with koby and helmeppo

(ex garp during marineford vs garp during egghead)

but he is also the same man who was complicit in the death of one of his grandsons, stood by and did nothing while akainu and kizaru were actively trying to kill him while jinbei, buggy and the wbp were escaping with him and it's his neglect and not being there during the bluejam incident that led to sabo 'death', at least there are implications TO ME that dadan blames him for it (as far as the anime's adaptation of the post war arc since she tried getting garp to stay to help with bluejam and his goons)

he loves his grandkids but he doesn't know how to treat them right. i look forward to seeing what happens next with the guy considering all that happened last arc

[oceangirl24]

Fandom drama finally over (next chapter on the way).

Well, this month has been surreal.

For those of you who have been following me for a while you know I have dealt with plagiarism and harassment by a fandom writer since October of 2022- exactly twenty years after I posted the first chapter of AiP on FFN.

Totally gone.

Everything has been deleted everywhere.

The name has been scrubbed, even on pages that tagged her. Only a few gift fics on FFN and a few stories on WhoFic.com remain.

Gone like she never existed.

I've held off saying anything in case it was a just a dream, but it's real.

She is gone!

It's over.

Finally!

I cannot tell you what a massive relief this is.

I have never named her publicly through all of this, although I know some of you figured out who it was.

MrsFizzle. Kaylie Night.

I never shared the extent of what went on for several reasons, but mostly because I knew my socials were being watched and I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing that what she was doing was so badly affecting my physical and mental health.

I was already dealing with a severe bout of depression and anxiety when she contacted me on FFN in October 2022. At that time, I did not have any socials linked to my FF accounts other than my art account on FFN. I was just getting back into fandom and hadn't decided how I wanted to engage yet. We had been talking in comments on AO3, and instead of asking me if I wanted to talk privately, she just appeared in my dms saying she wanted to talk so she "found" me. This was disturbing, especially since she indicated she was aware I likely did not want to hear from her, but I brushed it off as anxiety talking. I had said I wanted fandom friends after all. And I had no reason not to talk to her.

I should have listened to my instinct.

She straight up told me what she was going to do and how she was going to do it- take my work and Audrey to chop up and use as she pleased. She immediately began to gaslight me by saying she had all of this already written and was giving me a heads up so I wouldn't think she copied. Later, she insisted she would not change anything about Ashley, which made her previous offer to change her name not sincere.

I felt I couldn't say anything about this, not even saying yes, please change the name. What right did I have anyway? It's fanfiction. Mine is the only story like it in the fandom and recognizable, so she'll credit me, and I'll get over it.

I hated it, though. I hated what I thought she was trying to do, and I hated myself for thinking that of someone new to and excited about the fandom. I've been in BMW fanfiction since 2002 and have always had a great experience with it and the people in it. I convinced myself that I was reading into things, and that depression and anxiety were skewing my perception.

Over a year later, while putting the report together, I saw her own words in comments with the dates on them telling me she read AiP and Flashbacks before writing her story, I just didn't catch it. I also saw all the lies she told her readers about the situation. I saw the little comments picking at my characters and story line, the ones she said she loved so much to make herself look better. I can't imagine what she was telling people privately with how bold as she was publicly.

She lied to me about everything from why Ashley's name was so similar to Audrey's to the plot she had planned for her "little family". Told me our OCs had to be the same because they were written for the same character. They had to be younger than Jon, had to have a traumatic backstory, and had to be good with teens, very pretty, etc. There were differences: her character wasn't as young as mine and "had more of an edge to her".

Also she said she couldn't tag Ashley as an OC because she wasn't. Not really. To say she was original would be "presumptuous". She existed in GMW.

Somehow Audrey did not nor did any other OC love interest for Jon even though they too were nurses like in canon. Unbelievably, she even told a reader Ashley was a canon character.

We talked for one week.

It was a miserable seven days. I set my discord status to invisible to get rid of the pressure to respond right away when she messaged. She didn't like this and wanted to know why she couldn't tell when I was online.

No one else ever shows up like that she said, why do you?

I made something up and said a bunch of things to appease her, but I was worried about why this was such an issue, especially since many of my friends were also permanently invisible. The fear she was watching my online movement just had to be my anxiety driving paranoia, right? She couldn't be. Who has time for that?

A fandom friend I had been talking to about the conversations as they happened advised me to get out. She said I shouldn't be afraid and anxious when talking to someone about fandom things.

I finally got the courage to end it. She didn't like being cut off. I tried to be nice about it and took all the blame on myself for this fandom friendship not working out, but that wasn't enough. I finally had to be forceful (or honest I suppose) and tell her I felt like I was being lied to because what she told me was different than what she was telling other people.

She denied it of course and was very offended.

"May God deal with me as He sees fit if I have intentionally decieved you."

This closed out one of her last FFN messages and always bothered me. Was it purposely worded like that or a Freudian slip? In hindsight, now that she's deleted everything, maybe He did just that.

I found out later that the "repetitive stress injury paired with hypermobility" in her wrists that left her unable to type for a year was not her story. See I have hypermobility in my lower body, really bad in my hips. In talking to her, a lot of what she said didn't make sense and she often wouldn't give direct answers. Later on Reddit she announced that her wrists were suddenly healed, all better now. I had no clue you could be cured of hypermobility (you can't).

When compiling the plagiarism report, I came across the AN on a story written by a close friend of hers (I was blocking all close associates). What was it about? A repetitive stress wrist injury paired with hypermobility. It looked like it went up during the time we were talking.

She told me one thing about why she left her job in the AO3 comments. Then she used my own AN about why I left teaching (internal school politics) to come up with a different reason for leaving education on FFN that honestly made no sense to me but I didn't question her. She then told Reddit something different.

There were other instances where she took someone else's story and claimed it as her own real-life tale. Some of this was public, too. Either she thought no one would pick up on it, or she thought she could say anything she wanted and not be held accountable. I don't know.

Then there was the drive to push me out of the fandom using what weaknesses she knew I had to do it. Looking back, she was very good at it. Too good for it to be the first time she'd done this to someone. She claimed I was the first person since high school she'd had drama with and the first ever online. I highly doubt that now.

I had Cameos from Tony Quinn and had spoken to him in dms. I mentioned these to her, and she insisted on seeing them. I didn't want to share them. They were special to me with a lot of personal things said. But I was selfish by not sharing, right? So, I gave in, edited out the personal stuff, and sent them to her.

Immediately I regretted it.

As soon as she indicated she's seen them, I deleted them. Then she said she hadn't seen part of one and none of the others, could I send again? I ended up making an excuse as to why I couldn't - too much personal info. Truthfully, I had the inexplicable fear she was going to take the videos and claim them as her own.

You see, she didn't care anything about Tony whom I've been a big fan of since 1994 when we first started talking. He was just some old guy to her. Until she found out how much I liked him. Then suddenly she was his biggest fan and just had to meet him because he was so wonderful. They lived in the same state after all. Oh, but don't worry I would get to meet him too someday for sure, she told me... on the other side of heaven. 🙄

When I told my friend about this one, she said to cut contact.

(Ironically, by the time we started talking, Tony had already moved back to my home state, where he and his wife are from. Learned that from his Pod Meets World interview that came out a month after we stopped talking. I cried-laughed the first time I listened to the interview.)

She liked to point out how old I was. I never told her, she did the math and figured it out she said. She was wrong, but it didn't matter. She was aware of personal insecurities and liked to push this one. I told her things I should not have but I was desperate for another friend and I convinced myself that all the warning sirens I was hearing in my head was just anxiety.

Towards the end of our time talking on Discord, she had started the subtle dismantling of my confidence in AiP. I was very aware that my work was outside of the norm for the fandom at the time and was often insecure about it. With little feedback at the time, I didn't know what to do.

It's a trilogy, split it into three parts maybe, so the word count isn't so intimidating?

She told me the story was too long, and even splitting it into three parts wouldn't help- no one reads sequels or will go back to read the first parts. On the other hand, no one would be interested in giving it a chance because of the length. Also, the story wasn't healing- and that is why people read, you know. Her attitude toward Audrey grew chilly and very, "she's an OC, people don't like OC main characters." This was a drastic departure from her comments on AiP.

Then she started bragging about how well her story was doing and all the comments she got. Fans were just begging her for more.

After I cut contact, she blocked me on Reddit and purposely took over the Jon and Jon and Shawn threads so I couldn't participate. This continued until I blocked her. She didn't like having her participation limited.

Blocks on both sides were lifted for awhile. I wish I hadn't lifted mine. But I had been so looking forward to season 2 of PMW and wanted to talk to others about it and Mr. Turner. I thought I could handle dealing with her more out there takes.

During this time, I noticed a sharp drop in interaction on my stories.

Readers not from Reddit or FFN disappeared. I always wondered about the timing. Readers gushed over her, though, and several indicated they were talking to her on Discord, too.

She knew how much fandom connection meant to me and took every opportunity to flaunt hers, whether in her comments or on Reddit. She had a thing for following me around and posting where I did, including on other people stories.

I mentioned this feeling of being left out and wondering if there was a Discord server for BMW I didn't know about. She said there was none she knew of and told me no one wanted to talk about BMW in a discord server anyway. All the people she talked to were uncomfortable with that. They only wanted to talk to her privately.

Turns out that was another lie.

Not only did I find that people wanted a discord server, in a comment thread with her and another reader about wanting to discuss head canon offsite, one of those readers "uncomfortable with discord servers" created one of their own and dropped a link inviting them to it some months before that conversation.

It wasn't the existence of a private server that bothered me so much. If there was, there was. It was the way she told me: everyone wanted her, nobody wanted me.

Had it not been for readers alerting me to the stolen work, I would never have known any of this. I'd still be wondering why the fanfiction side of the fandom wanted little to do with me when I sincerely tried to give back as much as I got and tried to welcome/encourage writers, especially new Jon & Shawn writers.

Then she contacted me on Christmas Eve 2022 on Reddit. After I made it clear I wanted nothing to do with her. As always, I was too nice. I still blamed myself and the anxiety for everything that happened. She offered friendship and apologies and then abruptly ripped the offer away when I expressed having reservations. When I didn't do what she wanted, she got mean.

Admittedly, her hurtful words about having "tons" of fandom friends to talk to when I didn't upset me. Since she liked to talk about God and being a Christian, I shot her some Bible verses about words and told her how cruel she was.

That didn't go over well.

Later I felt bad about it. Maybe I was too harsh, too judgemental, too sensitive. Blaming my anxiety for my reaction, I stupidly reached out on Valentine's Day 2023 to try to make peace with her.

She was even meaner and now saying she was afraid of me. She said I had hurt her so much she couldn't trust me. She admitted that she'd hurt me too but wouldn't say how, just that we kept hurting each other, so she was too scared to talk to me.

What?

I was talking about her, she claimed. And that was too much. She couldn't take the pain and stress of being talked about online. Oh, and her depression was worse and she struggled more, so what I was going through didn't matter.

Did I talk about her online?

In the aftermath of the Discord chats, I was angry she wouldn't leave me alone when asked. I resented her trying to push me out of a fandom I've been in since I was a little kid. I vented my frustration by making a wildest opinion that fans had heard over the years post on Reddit. Mine was that Jon was a coward for letting Shawn go back to Chet. I never named her or how I'd heard this opinion. I didn't think she was even still around the subreddit.

She outed herself.

I think the biggest problem with the post was that no one agreed with her take. I deleted the post not long after it was made and apologized to her for it later, but it wasn't good enough.

The next thing wasn't even about her. I told her that when she contacted me on Reddit. Someone had posted about having to block someone online and why. I responded sympathetically, referencing something that had happened before I met her. She refused to accept that my comment wasn't about her. Of course, I was talking about her, how could I not be?

Everything was about her no matter what the topic was.

But these were the terrible things I did to her that made her afraid of me. She couldn't come up with anything else. Turns out what she was really afraid of was that I would find out what she was doing and what she was telling others.

For 16 months I was so stressed and depressed that I started having panic attacks again. @lizettevanessa and later @mrsmungus virtually held my hand and talked me through these. They spent hours trying to help me calm down and get me to think rationally over that time.

I have type 1 diabetes and stress is a killer for me. Throughout this ordeal, my blood sugar was stuck at over 300 for hours on end and it seemed that no matter how much insulin I used it wasn't enough. And then the bottom would fall out and my blood sugar crashed. It was a never-ending cycle of trying to bring down highs and bring up lows. This led to stomach problems, constant migraines, and eventually hair loss. I had so many nights where I couldn't sleep. I was so depressed I couldn't work out and I couldn't cope with online or rl situations that shouldn't have been a big deal.

It also triggered the ED.

I hadn't had a relapse in years.

Online I was always looking over my shoulder wondering if the people in fandom were being honest with me or if they were pretending to be my friend while reporting back to her. I know for a fact one person in the BMW server was doing this. I know at least a couple of readers/friends were involved and that she created alts impersonating others.

Trying to run an inclusive, welcoming fandom server while trying to protect myself was a nightmare.

I honestly can't put into words how much damage she did. It was only because of my chaos family and sis @mrsmungus that I didn't quit everything. No exaggeration. I came very close several times to deleting over 20 years of work and history because of her.

What I've just told you is a just a part of what I've dealt with since late 2022.

The worst part is I think she'd be pleased to know how effective her tactics were. I don't know what was going on in her life that drove her to do this. I don't know if she is just that jealous, entitled, and petty a person or if she was lashing out because of something done to her and this was the only way she could get revenge- by going after an easy target and inflicting the same hurt she'd suffered.

What did she gain by doing all of this? If if I had left the fandom, what was the end goal? There were/are a lot of Jon and Shawn adoption writers out there. Would she drive them out to so she could be the BNF of BMW?

I've been in online fandom for over 20 years and I've learned that fandom is cyclical. Favorite tropes, characters, etc. change over time, falling out of favor and then becoming popular again. It would be a full-time job plus overtime trying to stay on top.

As for me, all she had to do is admit where her inspiration came, just once, just a note. Instead, she chose to lie, manipulate, and harass me just so she didn't have to admit it.

It's incredibly stupid if you stop to think about it.

But she is gone now and all of that is gone with her.

I don't know what happened that made her nuke everything and I do not care. It doesn't matter.

I used to want that story rewritten or gone. But in all honesty, I am ecstatic to see she's gone.

Good riddance.

Looking back, I get the feeling she is a very privileged person who has been sheltered from having to deal with the consequences of her actions for a long time and not just online.

Going back over all the private correspondences with her, the ones she had a with a mutual reader that were sent to me, and her response to AO3 that was removed by staff, in them is a trend in claiming something awful happened to her making it impossible for anything to be her fault when confronted with something negative. Flu, injury, baby, computer theft, ID theft, etc. There was always an excuse. She was always the victim.

She got away with it until she didn't.

I really do hope she deals with whatever caused her to act this way. It's terrible for those who cross her path who aren't her constant cheerleader, but it's worse for her in the end.

You can't be like that and be happy.

You know what is sad?

She's actually a talented writer. She could have taken that story and really done something special with it. The foundation was there. She could have taken Ashley and made her into a fully developed, living, breathing character who could have shaped her family unit in a way that didn't look anything like mine even if the same basic elements were there. It would have been so easy for her to do. Instead, she picked what she wanted from mine, minced it up, and harassed me over what she was doing.

AO3's verdict on my report, which was still out a year later, no longer matters since she deleted everything.

If by chance Kaylie is reading this or does read this someday, let me be very clear: Do not think I feel sorry for you in any way. Do NOT contact me for any reason, not even to apologize. Do not come at me with new accounts anywhere. I do not care if it's ten years from now. I want nothing to do with you.

Yet out of all this mess, there were some incredible things that came of it. Because of her behavior, it drove me to get involved with fanfiction outside of the fandom and find my online family. If I had the chance to go back in time and avoid her, but it meant not finding my family, I'd decline. Her nonsense was worth finding them.

Because of her, I did become afraid to get involved with fandom people and very nearly missed meeting someone who is very dear to me. @justanotherpersonwhowrites posted her story on FFN and I completely panicked when I saw the description of her OC. Thankfully she posted on Tumblr and AO3 later on as I was finding my family. I reread her story and fell in love with her OC. I got up the courage to reach out and I am so glad I did. She is an amazing person, a talented writer, and an incredible friend.

Also the BMW discord server happened because of Kaylie. I didn't want others to be isolated from the fandom like I was and Reddit is good for some things but not others. Not only is it an archive for the show but a place for fans to find each other. It is also a safe place for fanfiction writers to get together.

So what happens now?

Autumn in Philadelphia will go on, without a doubt. And I will be picking up my other stories that were more lighthearted and fun. I have a series of Jondrey one shots that I really want to do too. A lot fun stuff and art. I'll be more active on here and in the BMW server.

The AN that's on every story will be changed to link to this post.

As for blocks, they will remain for now.

The reason is I've been through too many bouts of silence only for her to resurface. Although she can't return in the same way, I don't know that she doesn't still have former readers acting as her eyes and ears. Eventually all blocks will be lifted except on those I know to be her friends because she named them as such.

I still have the report, the screencaps (soooo many screencaps), all her messages, and a copy of that story. I took screenshots of all the places she used to exist but doesn't anymore because it still doesn't seem real. I thought about purging everything, but they are now a part of AiP's history. Someday I'll get around to building that neocities site as a tribute to the era this all began in and I will include everything: the fantastic, the strange, and the nightmarish.

I want to extend my eternal gratitude to one of my dearest friends, @lizettevanessa, to my sis @mrsmungus, to little sis @justanotherpersonwhowrites, to @lena-hills @kayedium-writes @hylianjo @sliebman10 @axolotlsupremacyowo @udaberriwrites @fattybattysblog @narcissasdaffodil @danceswithdarkspawn and the rest of my Chaos family for your love and support during the past two years. I owe you everything.

And to my readers, who've been with me whether from the beginning or just joined, THANK YOU. I love and appreciate you more than you know.

❤️❤️❤️❤️

-Aria

[prettyboykatsuki]

i LOVE a throuple so bad!! but i truly can’t wrap my head around any of the LaDS men sharing. i want them to share sooooo badly therefore i would love you to wrap my thoughts for me if you’d be so willing🙏 at least concerning caleb and zayne

JSDHFKJFSSD

to be clear my zayne mc and caleb throuple idea is mostly just me being sooooo egregiously horny. everyones allowed one mildly out of character lustful thing and this is mine

but genuinely i do think there is some begrudging shared custody (lmao) scenario with mc where she says through tears she can't pick between them and zayne offers up that she doesn't have to. caleb absolutely resents the idea and well. that's fair

but when he turns it down and his sweet little angel makes big wet eyes at him? yeah its never been so over.

neither of them really want the other - though they get along as friends begrudgingly well. when theyre not actively upset about it i think they're actually pretty decently friendly, like when both of them forget for a split second why they're in the same room. lmao

mc is especially whiny about spending time with both. but it's hard to strike balance (naturally) and the only time it kind of feels even is during sex. nonsexual intimacy is hard to measure but both of them on the same mission to make mc cum as hard as possible ... well as long as they both take turns its fine.

again. they're not all that happy to be there but they're both so into mc that it does not especially matter. they can call truce.

that being said i do think the only time there's really any clear tension between them when mc fujos out a little and asks them to kiss. and zayne is like my love what. and caleb has a WEIRD moment of wanting to please mc and having beef with zayne like no ones business and doesn't it in a strange and forceful way.

and it gets kind of weird when they pull apart KJDFJGKFDJDF. zayne is BEWILDERED but he didn't hate it really. he's kind of ambivalent about it but at the same time......... ? huh.

caleb discovers he is kind of bisexual and never thinks about it again. i dont think this kiss resolves anything at all between them like. at all even a little which is genuinely so funny god bless. but you know what? they argue less. or more like when it gets too tense the both of them immediately Remember and things settled down

the long term of this? soo questionable. but the scenario itself? not impossible i fear

[haylessa]

Bridge to the Turnabout

man do i feel like crying finishing this game.

the way they connected so many past cases to this final one is amazing. seems like everything connects to the DL-6 incident somehow lol. how Misty Fey failed her channeling on that case, Miles's phobia of earthquakes, leading all up to him losing sight of the suspect, which then made a chance for them to swap places with a twin. wow they truly planned this ahead didn't they.

playing as Miles!!! that was really entertaining. his inner monologues are hilarious. he flew all the way to Japan just because of Phoenix okay??? totally normal about this. and Franziska also flew from Germany just to have a chance at battling(?) Phoenix again (not surprised).

not them being in cahoots fooling the judge that Miles is a defense attorney HAHAH yeah siblings. loveee how they both ended up helping Phoenix big time in this case. like "eh since I flew all the way here why not" Franziska showing her kindness albeit being all snarky about it haha who are you fooling you're just a softie inside.

aww are you worried? she just randomly decided to follow Phoenix around welp that's cute... argh i love her she's so precious, they'll never make me hate you Franziska von karma<3

okay first time i saw him my first thoughts was that he's a relative of Diego. not being Diego himself. damn i thought he actually came from the depths of hell. as in like, zombies. there's spirit channeling, so another weird thing would be totally normal right? i was wrong.

people in this game hop jobs like hopscotch from lawyers to prosecutors to detectives (talking about lana) it's so unserious (i love it).

tbh this case was quite confusing even when there's all sorts of evidence. it would be very helpful if they explained the whole timeline of the murder in order at the end. because with all the channeling it was confusing who's body is who and where everyone actually is, or was that again, just me? they said Iris betrayed Dahlia when she planned the fake kidnapping? or when she killed her stepsister? or both? how did she betray her, i mean how exactly did she run away??

Godot said he contacted Misty and Iris. so Misty and Iris were in cahoots right? so she lied that she didn't know Elise was Misty then. god so many questions i should open up wiki later.

their story was such a tragedy:( and Maya oh Maya....... she probably only figured out Elise was her mom after she got killed right in front of he. but she had to be strong for Pearl. my poor little girls....i wanna hug them so bad. this whole fiasco is very fucked up. also did Misty refuse Maya to help cook because she might find out it's her mom?

Maya probably held deep in her heart on the fact that her mom, although missing, is still alive out there somewhere. and now... she's really gone.

i'm glad she's got a home with Pearl and Phoenix now. there's also Detective Gumshoe, Edgeworth, Franziska, and all the friends they made along the way who'll always look out for her. I wish we could see Maya and Franziska slowly becoming friends, they're nineteen! they should be at the club!!

this pic of little Mia and Maya is so cute:((( busted breaking the sacred urn even before Pearl did. and no one said a thing looking at it😭

i'm gonna miss them all so much... i haven't played the other games (yet) but i'm pretty sure nothing can top the original trilogy. quirky characters with personalities, unmatched goofiness, emotional sibling bonds, and overall a really really good story. it will stay with me forever<3

[krispypajamalady]

Let me ask something to everyone who has read FW, IF and OS.

Who will Violet choose when I comes down to Xaden and everyone else she loves?

Who will she save when it comes to hundreds and thousands of Tyrs and Xaden?

Who does she spend a good amount of time with in OS, to the point where it's like everyone else is a filler character?

The answer to all of that is Xaden.

However, for some reason Rhiannon is being hated for not making Violet her priority.

Mira is being hated for hiding the fact about dedication.

So now Violet is supposed to be everyone's priority while she chooses Xaden over then repeatedly.

Yk what I see?

I see you being desperate for reasons to hate on Rhiannon and Mira.

I see people WANTING to have reasons to hate Violet is OS.

Violet risked EVERYONE'S life by hiding the fact that Xaden is venin. He went to countless mission where he could've channeled and killed everyone. So is it not wrong for her to not inform people? At most AND atleast the squad?

Now we come to Rhiannon.

She is a leader. A good one unlike whatever Xaden and Violet are. She looks out for people. Her priority is the thousands down there and not Violet. So what?

Is she supposed to give up the thousands for Violet, who is as unpredictable as Xaden if not more? Is she supposed to sacrifice hundreds of men, women and children for them?

If that's what you think she is supposed to do, then Rebecca failed as an author.

She was trying to show you what a leader should be like. She was trying to show you what war is. You don't get plot armour in a war. You don't get anything in a war except weapons and armour. People die and you have to choose.

As for Mira, all the hate is once again baseless. Yes, ok she should've told Vi about her theory on dedication. But there is a chance she would've accelerated what she thought was the process of her being venin.

But where does the hate evaporate when it's Xaden's turn?

By that logic of hiding things, we should be hating on a HUGE number of characters but no. We only hate Mira.

Before anyone says anything about the venin not solely concerning Violet but also the world, let me remind you of something.

Lilith is dead. Asher is dead. Brennan is trash. Mira's squad is never mentioned, she always flies solo.

Who does Mira have left? Violet.

If by telling Violet Mira thinks she is going to risk HER world, which is Violet, will she tell her that? No.

Also, Mira connected the dots after they visited the Isle of Dunne. Or maybe way later. And she did tell that to Brennan right? Yeah?

When did she tell that to him? When Violet and Xaden were in the washroom.

Why did she tell that to him? So that they could help Violet escape if, by Mira's assumptions, Violet is venin.

She said that to Brennan in Riorgail's room, knowing VERY well that Violet is in the washroom and she will come out any second. We can deduce 2 things from that:

1. She lets her guard down around Violet: That means she wouldn't harm her in any way. She does not think of Violet as a threat. Also, she does not truly believe in the whole dedication bullshit.

2. She knew Violet would listen.

Heroes don't sacrifice their loved ones. Their loved ones sacrifice themselves for the world. Please read properly.

Thank you.

[carmenized-onions]

It’s been a little while since you’ve posted on here so I hope you are doing well and taking care of yourself!!! 💖

my darling loves, I'm so sorry

I'VE BEEN SO EMBARRASSED. I HAVEN'T WANTED TO SHOW MY FACE AROUND THIS TOWN BECAUSE I'VE GOT NOTHING TO SHOW FOR MYSELF AFTER TAKING SUCH A LONG TIME AWAY FROM YOU ALL.

I've been. violently busy. in a good way, mostly. One of my jobs is the best job in the world and the other one is such a bitch it makes me scream every day forever.

but i'm also spending time with friends and enjoying life !

My mom also finished her last chemo appointment just a few weeks ago!!! YIPEEE!!!! Her CT Scans look GOOD!! so no chemo for the foreseeable future. She's unfortunately got the type of cancer that doesn't go away, but at the very least, it's MANAGEABLE. And that's a huge win. I'm very very grateful.

I ALSO FOUND A THERAPIST!!! gone to 2 sessions so far. every session she uncovers a new fucked up facet of me and honestly, can anyone else relate to this, it's sort of nice for someone else to look at your life and go like "oh wow. oh wow there's like. there's like so much here." like it feels good to think oh hurray. i'm not crazy. life IS fucked!

MY BROTHER MOVED!!! this took up a lot of my time, honestly. i love him and my nephew and my sister in law dearly. so i spent a long time making their gifts. i'm silly.

OUR CAT GOT SICK!!! HE'S GOT PEE CRYSTALS CAUSE HE'S OLD!!!!! HE'S DOING OKAY NOW THOUGH!! HIS STUPID URINARY FOOD IS SO EXPENSIVE THOUGH!!!

ANYWAYS. those are my major life updates right. So what's with the no chapter happening??

i. hated. the draft i'm working on so much. that i didn't work on it for like. a month.

and then in a haze. i left myself this voice to text note in my notes app as i was falling asleep one night.

then i hated that too. a week passes. perhaps two, actually.

i finally gain the courage one night to read my draft over.

it's actually not bad at all

it's actually pretty good

some scenes definitely need reworking but that's because i need to fully realize some character feelings

I just had really intense writers' block and fatigue, honestly. But i'm finally writing and EXCITED about it, again. I'm pulling that shit up on my commute and writing whenever i can. which makes me really happy. i was not loving the way it felt like a chore, for a minute there.

that said.

100% going to be more realistic with this chapter waiting timeline, and put a 'hiatus' or some sort of 'delays' tracker on my landing page. cause like. i keep saying check back in 2 weeks. and that's not fair to me or you girl. let's keep it real.

i think we're like.... hm... 50-60% there. (i'll update my landing the day after this post, it's late and i'm eepy)

i MIGHT write some blurbs in the mean time, it really depends. i keep having ideas and then they blink out of existence. perhaps send ideas. i might do something with them.

BUT YES I AM OKAY AND ALIVE. My silence came from a LOT of life stuff getting in the way and also a lot of honestly embarrassment. i hate coming out here over and over and being like haha. i've got nothing <3

but i know that y'all will understand, and i need to trust in y'all's patience more. and i'm GONNA!!!

gonna try to start up my 'answering one ask a day' trend again. except wednesdays. i work late on wednesdays so fuck that. but perhaps all the other days you'll hear from me.

alright. i'm going to shut up now. was any of this coherent? i don't know. thank you for listening!! i missed you dearly!!

[melatonindeficient]

i just hate how Mel and Jayce never actually broke up.

Like if they did, I would probably (not really but whatever) be less salty about the way their paths diverged. Their last conversation had an hollowness to it, as if in making Jayce's character arc about saving Viktor rather than him trying to be a truly good leader (subtle shade at how I wish there was a greater focus on the Piltover-Zaun conflict) they forgot about about the fact that he also had other relationships (I'm also referring to how it felt like he didn't speak to much of anyone this season (and yes I'm aware this is partially due to him being in a hole for half the season, I'm referring to the rest of it)). Just because their lives were going in different directions and they were changing didn't mean they didn't have love binding them (I mean that was literally the premise of jayvik, and vi and jinx).

When they first saw each other again, they were two people who had undergone immense amounts of trauma over the course of a very short period of time—that conversation was never going to go very well. And as much as I hated the way he spoke to Mel at first, Jayce's reaction to seeing her makes sense; I mean, he saw Salo, who wasn't particularly likeable, and took him out just because the voices said so. Plus, in addition to his head splitting in two, his best friend had just walked away from him and used Hextech—Jayce's lifelong dream and reason for living—for an immoral cause. If Viktor could betray him, who was to say that Mel—his lover, yes, but also a tactical politician—wasn't also playing some long game?

We see his sense return to him during their passenger conversation, but his uncharacteristic bluntness makes it almost seem like he was severing their relationship, but I think that's a crazy thing to assume when he was preoccupied with a rapidly approaching battle, and one in which he'd have to attempt to kill his best friend (again! And this time in a more stable state of mind where he'd actually be able to register it!).

Now for my glorious queen Mel; she doesn't seem to have much of a say in any of this. She spends years in control pulling the strings of Piltovan politics, only to have all of her control seized from her in an instant. Then she comes home and her boyfriend—this one unchangeable force in her life, this one person she likely thought would remain the same—had changed. They never even get a chance to understand each other, and unlike the majority of the conversations Mel has, she doesn't have the upper hand or even a level playing field.

(personal opinion leaking through here because whyyy why could they not have just one more soft scene before she lost everything and he got absorbed into the freaking cosmos)

Anyway, Mel doesn't just let things happen to her, and it's not like the Black Rose just took that trait away from her (which is established because she could've taken her mother's betrayal and done nothing, but rather chooses to fight for the city she chose rather than the one that molded her). So the way that their last conversations went makes it seem like either she'd been expecting them to break up (which she deadass had no reason to) or they were both holding on to a hope that that conversation was just unfinished, and they could scream and yell and comfort and console when they weren't facing an imminent threat.

It's unfinished. It's empty.

Obviously I would've loved to see them together and happy forever and ever amen, but if they had to split i wish they'd actually split. Some angst or something instead of that empty ass fucking conversation.

[yinsmoonlight]

all that’s unspoken. — chapter 4.

genre — fiction | main characters — fem!reader. aespa & lesserafim.

synopsis — the beginning of a new school year, and it’s already looking terrible. lost your friends, and nowhere to turn to after a night gone wrong. with unbearable feelings caught in your throat, you navigate through this year wondering if you should speak, or keep silent.

content warnings — none in this chapter.

doing a paper on women’s rights. couldn’t be any easier, right?

the 19th amendment gave women the right to vote. it was a historical event that changed the history within the united states.

women needed it, after all.

who wants to be a stay at home housewife 24/7, cooking, cleaning? looking after some rowdy kids?

of course, some women don’t mind that.

but you’d love some independence. especially from what has you in a current state of shock and fear.

you went up and down through the library and articles you collected for this paper. it’ll be so good that mr. mackey will have to give you a good grade.

plus, it’ll be a good thing to raise your grade, considering you’re passing with a D+.

we don’t talk about that.

these past few weeks you’ve hated.

you can never walk past someone without them “accidentally” knocking your books from your hands. or “accidentally” tripping you.

seemed like everyone knew you from the fact of what happened at that stupid party.

was it really wrong that you did what you did?

you were just scared and felt helpless.

christmas was coming soon, so you didn’t feel like having the same scolding from your mom and dad about your failing grades.

focus on this paper, and maybe you’ll do good. i should! i’ve done all my damn research into this thing.

anyways, the school pep rally is happening soon. eunchae wanted you with her to decorate the school gym, even if you didn’t do anything.

she just likes your presence there, and she didn’t want you to feel lonely.

regardless, you help eunchae. she had you place different stickers on the posters while she finished hanging up other ones that were finished.

it felt peacefully to say the least. it was only you and eunchae, besides sakura that found you both.

“really taking pride in this pep rally?” kkura chuckles at the both of you.

“it’s showing school pride!” eunchae smiles, “wanna help?”

sakura pretends to think, until she relents with a small sigh, “might as well. this is my last year here, anyways.” she says before helping eunchae with taping a sign.

eunchae and sakura got into a conversation about the future, mainly about what kkura wanted to do, whether it was college, take a gap year, or just do whatever she wanted.

sakura said she didn’t really know what she wanted to do yet, despite being a senior.

she said to not rush into it, lots of kids don’t know what they want to do by the time they graduate highschool.

even the majority of adults don’t know.

speaking of, how did some kids have their whole life planned ahead of them? i’m almost a senior, and i don’t even know what i want to wear tomorrow, let alone decide what i want to do when i turn 20.

after this segment of free time, you had biology class with chaewon.

since you had a sub today, you just spent your time doodling different butterflies in your notebook.

all of them looked the same. black, dark gray, dead wings.

“so, you like butterflies, huh?” chaewon asks.

you look up in shock and shrug, “just for a class project.” you mumble.

chaewon nods, “makes sense. i thought it was some sort of hyper-fixation, maybe.”

you didn’t respond to chaewon, too caught up in your thoughts as you continued to draw.

“you don’t talk much, i like that.” she says, “you’re mysterious. i like that in a person. makes them interesting to figure out.” she explains.

you suddenly remembered your paper, and look up at chaewon.

“hey um, could you read this paper for mr. mackey’s class? extra credit.” you explain.

chaewon nods with a smile and once you handed her your paper, she began.

she must be a fast reader. not even five minutes she looks up and nods, “this is pretty good, y/n. for sure you’ll get an A.” she encourages.

this uplifted your spirits a little. you trusted chaewon enough to this extent that you’ll pass.

plus, she’s hella smart.

“you think so?” you ask in reassurance to which she nods.

“y’know, what i think you did in mr. mackey’s class was cool. standing up to him like that.” you confess.

the girl chuckles, “that teacher is nothing but a joke. he’s a grown man, yet can’t handle when others don’t agree with what he says? there’s opinions and debates for a reason. except, it wasn’t either. he’s clearly racist and xenophobic.”

you nod agreeing with chaewon’s words. she clearly was well worded and mature. it made you admire her.

the one time she gets in trouble, it’s for a good and valid reason. she stood up for what was right, even if it was an authority figure.

there’s a lesson to this; even authority figures can be wrong, but since we’re “just kids” were automatically wrong either way. be a grown up they tell us when teachers act this way? please.

“anyways, what’s your art project about?” she asks.

you snap from your thoughts, blinking a little, “oh uh, my teacher wants us to basically build a portfolio of what we picked. it has to “tell a story” throughout the school year. i think it’s stupid. how can i tell a story with a butterfly?” you huff.

chaewon chuckles, “i’m not an artsy person, but anything can tell a story. even if it’s just a color. like red, it can signify anger, or love. pink is associated with love, as well. or blue can show sadness.”

you look at her like she’s crazy.

“your butterflies tell a story, yeah? the wings are dark and look ripped. what do you think that says?” she asks you.

a shrug.

“well,” chaewon starts, “i see maybe someone who is upset? they’ve been hurt? it can be interpreted into anything.” she explains.

no wonder mr. donovan is so good at this art thing.

during lunchtime, you went into mr. mackey’s room to give him your paper, which he looked up at you with his glasses on the tip of his nose.

he looked at you with that usual stern eyebrow look. is he ever happy?

“front of the class tomorrow, first thing.” he says making you very confused.

but the pit in your stomach had your intuition telling you what it was.

he sighs, “in order to pass this paper, present it orally. like i said, first thing tomorrow in class.” he says.

with annoyance in your expression, you slightly huff and leave the room.

are you kidding me? NOW you’re telling me i have to present it up in front of everyone? definitely not happening.

as you walked past the aisles of lockers, you see chaewon at hers.

you debated on whether or not to walk up to her, asking her for help.

before completely walking past her, you slowly walk back and approach.

“hey…” you mumble, “do you mind helping me with something?” you ask softly.

the girl looks up with a small smile, “yeah, of course, what’s up?”

-

finally, it was the pep rally as everyone was rushing into the gym, while you debated on wanting to go or not.

besides, who wants to be in a loud place like the gym? all of the echos and unnecessary screaming.

but, for eunchae, you know she’d be expecting you to be there.

besides, she already spotted you, along with sakura by her side.

“y/n! come on!” she smiles gently grabbing your hand as you follow her and sakura into the gym.

once sat at the bleachers, you were sitting between eunchae and another random kid. everyone was excited as the bustling of all the grades entered the gym.

the school band were playing their loud instruments, and the cheerleaders were flipping, twirling, and cheering. whatever they usually do.

a game of tug of war happened, to a dance off, you couldn’t really grip what was happening. you were stuck in your thoughts.

it was when you felt a tap on your shoulder and you look over your shoulder.

it was an older girl, most likely a senior.

“you y/n l/n?” she asks and you slightly freeze.

your hands begin to tingle, and you instinctively shook your head no slowly, turning back around.

“you were the one that called the cops at that party,” she huffs, “y’know you got my cousin fired from his job because of it, bitch.” she scowls before purposefully kneeing you hard in the back.

you bite your lip, scooting forward a little.

you bothered your eyes with something else to not have your mind distracted on the girl behind you.

only until your eyes caught a sight; one you wish you hadn’t.

it was aeri and her. holding hands. then hugging, then kissing.

no way…there’s no way they’re dating now. they can’t be.

your heart pounded in your ears, you struggled to breathe. you didn’t want to be in this gym anymore.

eunchae seemed to noticed, her eyes following yours, as well as your hands gripping the fabric of your pants.

before eunchae could say anything, you hurriedly grabbed your bag and ran out of the gym.

eunchae didn’t think twice before running after you.

luckily, she saw you run out through the school front doors, and ran down the hall after you.

“hey! are you okay? why did you run out?” she asks catching up to you.

you stopped. you wanted to tell the girl off, to leave you alone.

but she didn’t deserve that. not one bit. not when she was just being concerned about a friend.

you open your mouth, but couldn’t say anything. you were avoiding eye contact with her.

eunchae sighs a little, “you don’t have to tell me, but i saw you looking at two girls. i mean, i’m still here for you, regardless. you looked like you could barely breathe.”

by her stutter, eunchae was stuck on what to say to begin with.

you wanted to tell the girl, but how would you even start?

your better instincts told you to trust her. over these past few weeks of school, eunchae has been more a friend to you than the ones from your past.

the both of you began to walk off the school campus and down the sidewalk, where home was.

it was silent, until you spoke up softly.

“i…the girls i was looking at, in the gym, one of them is my…or was my friend. the one with pink hair, her name is aeri. we’re not friends anymore.” you explain.

“may i ask why?” the younger girl asks.

you sigh shakily, “we went to a party…”

-

you laughed as you got into the car of aeri’s older sister. it was you, aeri, ningning, winter, and karina.

you all were so excited to go to this end of summer party. surprisingly, aeri’s sister agreed to let you come.

of course, aeri’s parents were out of town, so this was the perfect opportunity to do so. originally, a sleepover was put in place, but it wasn’t exactly like you were sneaking out.

the party smelled of alcohol and cigarettes. you weren’t used to these kinds of parties, of course. being a sort of goody two-shoes, you stuck to the original fruit punch, eating popcorn, any other party foods.

but it felt appealing, hanging out with the older kids considering you’re all only in tenth grade. who wouldn’t be excited to hang out with the juniors and seniors?

you and aeri had decided to try and talk to the older kids, while winter, ningning and karina were in their trio, talking with each other or meeting any other kids.

all of them were so nice and friendly, offering you some good advice for entering your third year of highschool.

even some of the older kids said they’d have your back this upcoming new school year.

especially this one junior, was so into you. she made you smile and had butterflies in your stomach.

she made you feel special despite just upon first meet.

“it was all in good fun.” she told you.

-

once you finished, you saw eunchae crying.

you were shocked. very shocked, to say the least. it was like you slapped her or something.

before you could say anything, she brought you into a tight hug, by instinct.

“you can’t tell anyone, okay? promise me.” you told the girl.

eunchae was torn, but she knew it was right and nodded, “i promise.”

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