#That alone would've given me *so much* buy-in!!!

[daily-sloop-john-b]

They really should've let us meet Duke Ravenguard before he got captured.

Right now, it's Just Some Guy, and he's gone before you could've gotten into the burning building.

But what if—but what if you meet the Duke, and he has no idea who you are, but you can tell him you're a Baldurian and suddenly he's like 'I must help you, because my city's people are not unaffected.' And you get the chance to point out it's, at most, four of you in the woods. But the Duke says that four is enough. That even one would be enough. He appologises that he needs the time to gather his supplies and people, but come to Walkeen's Rest tomorrow and you will head out to return to the Gate and the best healers within it at the first light of dawn

...and then you show up and the goddamn town is on fire.

Wyll would get an alternate scene where he's heartened to see his father after so long, attempts to explain, and yet his father scorns him for the monster he's become (if you've met Karlach) or tethered himself to (if Karlach isn't there or already turned over to Mizora). Wyll attempts to explain, but his father cuts him off, says he'll never forgive him. Then the Duke catches himself. Apologises that his responsibilities and duties as a Duke must come between them. And that, in lieu of forgiveness, he could at least listen to Wyll. But that he is too angry right now, and any explanation would fall on deafened ears. Please, the Duke pleads with us. Come back tomorrow, if you could stomach a father who could not give his forgiveness, but would at least give you supplies for the road instead. And of course Wyll gives you puppy dog eyes so you agree.

That night, Wyll tells you a little of what brought him to Mizora's feet, and his hopes that, even if his father couldn't forgive him, the two of them may tomorrow reach an understanding, at least. Wyll tells you how long he's said nothing to his father, from his fears of what he would think, trying to protect the Duke from Wyll's own follies. But that he sees now that Wyll wasn't trying to protect his father or the Gate, but himself. Wyll cannot tell his father everything—because at this point Wyll doesn't even know—but you can help bolster his resolve to tell his father what he can.

...then you wake and the village is on fire.

[thinkinonsense]

Touchཐིཋྀ

origins!logan howlett x fem!reader x black widow!natasha romanoff

cw: mdni!! oral (f+f), strap-on sex, fingering, squirting, doggy style, p in v, angst, some fluff, angsttt, dom!nat & dom!logan x sub!reader

masterlist

after a life of running and living in fear of an impending doom, you and logan had finally managed to build a peaceful life together. deep in the woods sat a wooden cabin where the two of you spent most of your days.

during the week, logan worked down at the lumberyard while you taught ballet to a group of young girls downtown. your boyfriend didn't know much of your past, just that you were tested on and abused back in russia. he never pressured you to talk about the past, his wasn't any better either.

buried in the back of your closet hid a box of belongings from russia. there weren't many things you valued from that time there but you did manage to take some photos of the girls you were friends with, a few journal, and an old pager given to you by someone you no longer knew. her face was everywhere but she never bothered to reach out again after escaping the red room.

"i'll see you later, honey." logan whispered as he kissed your cheek then left the bedroom.

half asleep still, you mumble a goodbye before your head hit the pillow again for the next couple of hours. you didn't have a class today but instead planned on going to town and getting groceries for the week.

it's a little after one when you finally jump in the shower, listing all the things you needed to buy and what you wanted to make for dinner. while picking out an outfit, you hear a faint vibration. logan kept your toys under the bed so, you knew that wasn't where the noise was coming from.

it could be?

inside the box, you can see the familiar number flash. hesitantly, you walk over to the phone and dial. pacing back and forth on the wooden floor, waiting for an answer.

"эй, принцесса."

hey, princess

you knew that voice like the back of your hand but you still couldn't believe it.

"natalia." your accent came out thick and heavy. she should've expected you to be upset still.

it's been everywhere. the news of the sokovia accords and the freeing of the winter soldier. you were keeping up with the news but not too closely. it was irritating watching natasha get to play super hero with the likes of iron man and captain america when you knew the truth.

"can we talk? i need a favor." she sounded desperate.

"i don't think that's a good idea." you sigh, unable to come up with a good excuse.

"c'mon, for old times sake?"

you hesitate. of course you missed her, how could you not? despite the red room being the worst time of your life, natalia was the daylight that kept you going.

"you don't even know where i am."

"look out your kitchen window."

pulling back the curtain, there she stood on your porch. long red hair just like you remembered, a small suite case next to her and a pair of black sunglasses covering her eyes. you hang up the phone and grab a kitchen knife from the counter; moving closer to the door.

"how did you find me?" you squint, feeling somewhere between anger and impressed.

"an old friend owed me a favor." she shrugs. "i didn't picture you as a living among the trees type of girl. you know, it quite dangerous to live alone in the woods."

"i can take care of myself" you remind her before adding, "and i don't live alone."

natasha's face falls a little. if you didn't know her as well as you did, you never would've been able to tell. she had a million questions but wasn't sure if she wanted the answers.

"what was the favor you needed?" you ask, trying to change the subject.

"i need a place to lay low for a bit."

was it horrible that you had to remind yourself that you are with logan now? now you love logan more than anything but you would be lying if you said natasha didn't hold a special place in your heart still.

"no games, nat." you put on your best poker face, knowing she could see right through you.

"even though i do miss playing with you," her lips linger closely to yours. sharing the same air. "i promise, no games."

"good. there's a guest room inside."

the two of you enter the house again and you show her the extra room. it's not very decorated, simply and neat. natasha didn't mind, she was just thankful you hadn't tried to fight her once you saw her again.

"so, who's the lucky lady that managed to tie you down?" nat chuckles to herself as she unpacks her things.

"his name is logan." you answer nervously.

why were you nervous? you didn't owe her anything, especially after the way she left you.

natasha felt the knife in her chest twist at the news. not only had you moved on but you were sickly in love. maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

a car door slams shut, snapping both of you back into reality.

"i'll be back. there's towels under the sink if you want to take a shower." you linger in the door way, waiting for her to turn and catch a glimpse of you before you leave.

"thanks, принцесса."

she doesn't even look up at you.

⭒˚‧ ︵‿⭒ཐིཋྀ ཐིཋྀ⭒‿︵ ‧˚⭒

logan could smell trouble miles away. the blood soaked in her jacket. the faint smell of her sweat and your cherry perfume. he assumed you were in trouble, maybe someone broke in or lured you out of the house to attack you. within seconds, he was back in his truck to check up on you.

"hey, honey." you smile, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a kiss.

"hey... are you... are you alright?" he struggled to get out in between kisses.

"mhm, i was thinking we could go for a drive." you were talking too fast, trying to distract him from whatever was inside.

"what's going on, sweetheart?" one of his brows arched, waiting for the truth.

both of you climb into the truck but logan never starts the car. instead he listens to the rapid beating of your heart.

"there's something—someone, from my past that's inside. she needed a place to lay low for a little bit."

logan could tell by your lack of eye contact that there was something you were still hiding something about this friend of yours.

"I won't be upset." he saying lovingly, reaching for your hand.

"when i was in the red room, i worked closely with a woman that i also was in a relationship with at the time."

logan wasn't sure why you were nervous to tell him this? he knew you liked women as well and he wasn't threatened by it. sure, is it a bit odd that your ex was coming here to hide out? defintely but logan of all people should know what it's like to be in need of somewhere to hide out.

"it was more than just physical. she meant a lot to me until..." you debated on telling him more but still on the fence.

"until?" he tests the waters.

"dreykov sent me to budapest. she never looked for me." on the verge of tears, you bite down on your tongue. "it killed me because not only did she leave me but she abandoned all the other girls that were stuck in the red room."

logan pulls you into his chest, stroking your hair gently, letting you know that it's okay to cry. your brain didn't get the memo because nothing came out.

"you don't have to let her stay here if it's too much for you." he reminds you.

"i know. i'm just not sure if i can handle her leaving again."

"must've really loved her, huh, princess?"

you nod softly into his chest.

"i don't mind if she stays but if you don't want her too, that's fine too." he says. "just want you to be happy."

in times like these, it hits you just how lucky you are to be with someone like logan. someone so understanding and loving. he knew the pain you went through all those years ago and how deep the connection with the woman inside must be. you can't survive that level of abuse without something keeping you going. for you, that something was natasha.

⭒˚‧ ︵‿⭒ཐིཋྀ ཐིཋྀ⭒‿︵ ‧˚⭒

inside the house, natasha watched you and logan out in the car. slightly intimidated by your boyfriends stature and entirely jealous of his arms wrapped around you. she had to remind herself that you were practically a stranger to her now. so much has changed over the years and neither of you were the same girls from the red room anymore.

when she saw the two of you exiting the car, she rushed back into the guest room. in the tiny hallway, she noticed the picture frames on the wall. there's a photo of a group of young ballerinas and yourself. natasha wonders if that's how you keep yourself connected to your past life.

next to your picture is your boyfriend -whatever his name was- and some of his friends outside of a fancy looking school. natasha tried to pay little attention to it on her way back to the room.

ten minutes pass before there's a soft knock on the door.

"come in." natasha calls out, turning off the television.

from behind the door, you appear with a plate and a glass in your hands. the smile on her lips, drops the moment she sees him at your tail.

"thought you might be hungry." you explain, handing her the sandwich you made for her

"isn't that sweet of you to think of me," she teases, watching the way your cheeks flush with color at her words.

logan leans against the door frame while you sit on the bed with natasha. he watched as you completely bewitched the red headed woman in front of you. she was practically hanging onto every word you said. he couldn't blame her though, you have the same effect on him.

"you must be 'lucky logan' ?"natasha cocks her head at the man behind you.

"guess so." he smirks, admiring the doe eyes you give him.

"hm, and you're okay with me staying here?" she asks.

"that's not up to me." logan shrugs.

natasha's green eyes shift over to your face, waiting for you to say something.

"i want you here, nat." you admit.

her heart flutters in her chest. she knew she didn't deserve a second chance and would leave if you asked her too but god, was she grateful that you still wanted her to be here.

"i don't deserve you, принцесса." she says softly, finding it hard to mask her feelings anymore.

"shhh..." you tell her. "just get some rest."

natasha actually listens to you, finishing her sandwich and crawling under the soft comforter. you reach for the empty plate and she stops you before you could walk away; placing a soft kiss on the inside of your palm. the tiny gasp that left your mouth didn't sneak past either of them in the room. once she let you go, you and logan exit the room and go into your own shared bedroom.

logan watched you pace back and forth, wiping her kiss mark off on your blue jeans. it pulled at his heart strings to see you so torn by natasha's presence. tears fall down your face like rain.

"don't cry, sweetheart." logan says, wrapping his arms around you.

"i'm s-sorry, lo..." you apologize, upset at yourself for still harvesting these feelings towards natasha.

"for what?" he asks, lifting up your chin to look at him.

"i love you so much." you blurt out, too afraid to say what you really wanted to.

"i know. i love you too." he smiles, bending down to give you a quick kiss then adding, "and i know you love her too."

"it's not–"

"it's okay." he assures you. "i'm not upset."

"you aren't?" you question, prepared for him to storm out and want nothing to do with you ever again.

"no."

without thinking, you completely collapse into his arms, so thankful for the man in front of you.

"i don't deserve you, logan." you whisper, kissing him gently.

"don't say that." he says sternly. "i'm just trying to give you everything you want in life."

⭒˚‧ ︵‿⭒ཐིཋྀ ཐིཋྀ⭒‿︵ ‧˚⭒

hours later, natasha woke up. she could smell faint tobacco from somewhere in the house. it was enough to get her out of bed to see where it was coming from. in the living room, she found logan on the couch watching a western and smoking a cigar with his boots up on the coffee table. he didn't have to turn around to know that nat was there.

"she went to the grocery store to get something for dinner." he says nonchalantly answering the question in your head.

natasha hummed in response, keeping a distance from logan in case he decides to do something rash like fight her.

"you can sit down, you know?" he chuckles, blowing the smoke from his mouth. "i'm not gonna attack you or anything."

"i wouldn't blame you if you did." she remarks, picking the single chair in the living room to sit down at.

"the only way i would do that is if you decide to hurt her again." he states frankly, eyes glued to the television screen.

"i suppose that's fair; but i don't plan on it."

"good. she's practically a damn saint."

natasha smiles a little at his words.

"yeah, she is." she says. “i wish i hadn’t left her the way that i did but there wasn’t much choice in the matter.”

“why did you leave her there?”

“dreykov found out about us. he threatened to have her sold off somewhere to someone who would probably kill her or worse.” natasha’s voice was tiny for once. painfully reminding her of the past she tried to burry. “thought i made it easier by leaving. she doesn’t know it but i did try to go back for her. twice actually. once by myself and another time with my friend, clint. the first time, she didn’t recognize me. the second time, he ordered her to kill me. barely made it out alive."

logan remembered how after a couple of months dating, you opened up about your memory issues. constantly feeling like you were missing a piece of the puzzle that was your life from all the experiments. it’s one of the things that helped you two connect with each other.

“i’ve seen her kill with her bare hands. seen her tied to tables with needles injected into her until she was blue in the face and spitting up blood. she was one of his favorite’s. used to wake up to her screaming from the nightmares.”

“she still gets them sometimes.” logan mutters.

nastasha nods, wiping a tear away quickly.

“do you think she will ever forgive me?”

“i think so.”

“do you think i deserve it?”

“probably not,” he said honestly with a shrug. “but that’s not up to me.”

natasha appreciated his candor at least.

“she’s back.” logan said before she could even hear the car approaching.

logan got up to help you bring in the bags. once both of you are inside, you spot nat sitting in the living room awake.

"hey, whatcha doin’ awake already?” you ask.

"i haven’t been awake long.” she answers, getting up and joining you in the kitchen.

“i’m making pasta, hope that’s alright with you?”

“of course. want some help?”

you instruct her to boil the noodles while you prepare the sauce. the two of you stand close next to each other as nat watches over your shoulder.

"have you heard from yelena lately?" you ask, making small talk.

"no." nat's voice came out a whisper. "have you?"

"mhm." you hum, stirring the sauce. "she called a month ago, asked what i knew about these red vitals she was given."

"vitals?"

"yeah, i told her my memory isn't as good as it used to be."

natasha reaches over and lightly touches your ponytail, twirling the ends around her fingers to help ease you. that’s how she used to calm you down as teenagers, by playing with your hair. deep down you knew you shouldn’t look at her, not this close anyways. nat could smell your cherry perfume, over powering her senses. her plump lips tempted you, sending an ache down to your lower region. she watches you intensely, waiting for you to make a move and wanting you more than ever.

unbeknownst to either of you, logan knew what was going on. he could smell the need forming in your underwear, could practically hear natasha’s dirty thoughts about you. most boyfriends would feel threatened by this but logan was different. he worshipped the ground you walked on and he always valued your happiness. why would he deny you of the love you deserved?

"i-i'm gonna go grab some wine from the cellar." you stutter, leaving her there alone.

nat nods, walking back into the living room to breathe.

"you can kiss her, if she wants you too." logan says aloud, tapping off the end of his cigar on the ashtray next to him.

"you aren't just saying that so then you would have an excuse to try and kill me, are you?" she squints.

"she won't make the first move. too afraid that she'll hurt me." he replied, ignoring natasha's comment.

"you wouldn't care?" she questions.

"no."

"what if i wanted to do more than kiss her?"

"its up to her."

logan watches natasha's eyes cloud with lust at the thought. how could he fault her? you were the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen in all 200+ years of his life. plus he would be lying in he said that he wouldn't find it hot to see you and natasha going at it.

"hey, is red okay?" you ask, holding a bottle up as you rounded the corner.

both logan and nat looked at you with these hungry looking eyes like you were their prey. logan's nostrils flare a little at the sweet scent.

"r-reds fine." nat stutters, her throat was dry at the thought of being back in between your thighs.

"cool, i'll get the glasses."

as you turn to leave, logan calls after you, "can you bring me a beer, sweetheart?"

"of course" you nod, obediently.

when you return, the three of you sit and watch the western playing for a few minutes until logan huffs loudly, sick of this tension and neither of you two doing anything about it.

"are you two gonna kiss 'n make up already, or what?" logan teases.

natasha and you find each others blown out gaze. both of you needed this. needing closure.

"fuck it." natasha mumbles to herself, getting up and coming over to you.

the redhead straddles you on the couch, caressing your jaw in her delicate palm. you nod your head, letting her know that you wanted this as much as she did. from her first taste of you, she knew it would be impossible to pull away.

⭒˚‧ ︵‿⭒ཐིཋྀ ཐིཋྀ⭒‿︵ ‧˚⭒

nat chases your plump kiss bitten red lips, backing you up until your legs hit the edge of the bed. your hands are up her shirt and under her bra, squeezing the soft flesh of her tits. rubbing your thumb over the blooming bud and listening to her pretty moans against your lips. she lays you down and strips herself of her clothes. you rush to do the same, wiggling out of your jeans.

behind nat, you see logan walk in with his beer in his hand and take a seat across from you in the corner. knowing that he's watching sent shivers down your spine. it wasn't until natasha grabbed your chin and squished your cheeks together that you realized you had been staring at logan.

"it's not his turn, it's mine." she taunts.

you nod your head and babble out an apology. she removes her grip on you only to lay down in between your thighs. a sight that you missed dearly.

"natty, please don't tease." you whine, arching at the soft kisses she trails inside of your thighs and hip bones, avoiding where you needed her most.

she smiles at the fact that your already shaking with anticipation. surprisingly, she looks over at logan.

"keep her legs spread for me, would ya'?" she asks.

he nods, already hard in his blue jeans. logan joins you two on the bed, sitting behind you and letting you rest comfortable against his chest. he places your legs over his to keep you open for natasha. she groans, sucking a dark plum bruise on your hipbone. meanwhile, logan's leaving similar marks on your neck and along your shoulder.

"please." you whine, wiggling your hips in her face. both natasha and logan can smell your arousal in the air. it's intoxicating.

"patients, baby." she scolds before licking a fat stripe over your clothed cunt.

"w-wanna feel you nat."

without hesitation, natasha tears the lacy material from your body and spreads you open. it's been years since she had last seen you in this position. she needs a moment to capture your angelic imagine.

"there's my girl." nat says, talking to your cunt. completely ignoring you and logan like you two aren't even in the room.

"isn't she a fuckin sight?" logan finally speaks up.

right as you open your mouth to beg her to do something, anything, she leaning in again to lick from your entrance up to your button.

"missed this pussy, принцесса..." nat says sloppily into your folds. "so wet for me."

"uh-uh." you moan, throwing your head back.

logan turns your chin to capture your lips, letting you moan freely into his mouth while his hands come up to massage your tits. fingers pinching and rolling the stiff buds in his palms.

natasha spends a while making out with your cunt; taking her time to savor the honey that pours from inside of you. she pulls back for a second to spit on your mound, letting it drip down before inserting her middle and ring finger. hers weren't nearly as thick as logan's but they are longer and still feel perfect in their own way. she watches how you and logan move together while she pumps in and out of you. for once, she didn't feel jealous of logan for having you. instead it made her heart swell to know that someone else loves you just as much as she does.

despite all the pleasure you felt, selfishly you wanted more. your right hand moves to intertwine itself into nat's red locks, pulling her head back to where you needed her most. her tongue swirled circles over your swollen bud, teasing it playfully. her fingers move faster inside of you as she grinds her clothed cunt against the mattress, moaning against your folds.

"ya' feel good, sweetheart?" logan asks, placing a soft kiss on your hairline.

"sooo good, lo." you purr, gazing up at him with doe eyes.

his low chuckle makes you clench down had on natasha's fingers. all that can be heard in the room are low moans and wet squelching noises. nat kitten licks your button until you reach your first high of the night.

too caught in euphoria to control your legs wrapping around her neck, squeezing her head with your thighs. your loud moans were barely audible to her at this moment. the red head could die happily right here, right now.

carefully, she pulls off of you.

"you did so good for me, принцесса." she praises, stroking your thighs.

as soon as natasha sits up, you reach out and kiss her, tasting yourself on her plump maroon lips. she melts into the kiss making it easy for you to flip her over on her back. logan gets up again, unbuckling his belt as he watches the two of you grind on each other in messy, uncoordinated movements.

"wish you could fuck me like old times, nat." you mumble, kissing her chest and leaving little love bites behind.

"i-i could..." she hesitates.

already ahead of her, logan's rummaging through her backpack and hold up a familiar contraption.

"lookin' for this, red?" he smirks, tossing the strap-on onto the bed next to her.

the last time nat wanted either of you two think is that she just dropped by to fuck you and leave but what can she say? she's prepared for anything.

"is this alright with you, pretty girl?" she asks you in between lightly nibbling on your pulse point while you grind your cunt against the soft skin of her abs.

natasha pulls back to look at you. her hand cradles your jaw, waiting for your answer.

"i need it natty." you nod. "need you inside of me."

those words make her blue eyes turn a stormy dark grey. in a rush, she puts it on and lets you line yourself up to the silicone. despite all the time apart, the two of you fell back into a seamless rhythm together. one of her hands rests on your hip, helping you move up and down while the other paws at your chest, rolling the stiff bud.

"uh-fuck." you whine, throwing your head back when she angles her hips up with a sharp snap.

"that's the spot, huh?" she smirks, watching your pretty face scrunch up as you try and focus.

weakly, you nod your head and babble something incoherent to both hers and logan's ears. it's not the same feeling that logan gives you obviously but the way natasha's fucking up into you makes you feel just as good.

logan makes his way over to you, palming his boxer covered cock as he leans down to make out with you. willingly, giving in as his tongue explores your mouth messily with a hand in your hair. natasha uses this to her advantage, bringing her thumb up to your clit and circle it slowly in contrast to the jolts of her hips hitting yours. logan swallows every little moan that spills from your plump lips.

" 'm so close, natty." you whimper, tears in your waterline as logan's sucks on your pulse point.

"is that so, baby?" she mocks with a light roll of her hips.

"d-don't stop, please." you beg, bouncing faster to chase your high.

natasha and logan were both wishing that they could feel you clenching around them instead of the silicone.

logan's big rough hands help you bounce in rhythm as soon as he sees your movements slow down.

"c'mon, princess." logan groans in your ear. "we wanna see you fall apart for us."

"cum for us, sweet girl." natasha purrs, sitting up to suck on your tit and picking up speed with her thumb.

that's all it takes for you to release on top of nat, hips shaking violently while you leaked all over her lap. eyes screwed shut, stars coming into vision as you try to calm yourself down again. it just felt so good to feel the contrasts between her and logan when they fuck you.

carefully, logan picks you up off of natasha's strap. she takes it off and throws it aside, watching logan help you recover.

"don't ya' think natasha deserves something too for how good she's made you feel, princess?" logan asks you.

"mhm." you nod, crawling in between her legs. "wanna thank you properly, natty."

natasha thinks she might cum just from looking at your big doe eyes in between her thighs. you play flat on your stomach, kissing the plush soft skin. her hips wiggle impatiently in your face. the sweet smell of her arousal reminded you of all the other intimate moments the two of you have shared. within seconds, you're ripping off her lacy black panties and tossing them somewhere to the side of the bed.

"so fuckin' pretty 'n so wet." you mumble to yourself as you pull her fold apart, watching her slick drip from her entrance. "is this all for me?"

"o-only for you, baby." she says with a shaky breath.

you lean forward licking a strip from her entrance to her button. your hands wrap under her thighs and pull her tight against your face, letting her use you however she wanted. natasha grinds down on your tongue, moaning when your nose occasionally bumping her clit. she taste sweeter than any other times you've buried your tongue inside of her.

"love how good your tongue feels, baby." she moans, brushing your hair out of your face.

mind fully focused on nat that you don't even register logan shifting around behind you, running his tip up and down your pussy. lightly slapping your clit before thrusting inside of you. his cock stretches you deliciously, making you moan against natasha's cunt. her fingers pulls a bit at your hair from the vibrations. it's always a struggle to get him to fit inside of you.

"tightest pussy in the fuckin' world, i swear." he mumbles to himself, watching you swallow him whole.

logan's thrusts start to increase as he paws at the flesh of your ass. his tip kisses your cervix repeatedly, making it hard for you to keep your mouth around nat. your forehead pressed against her thigh while you try to concentrate, licking your fingers and inserting them into natasha's tight warm cunt.

"fuck!" nat moans, clenching around your two fingers as they reach that spongey spot deep inside of her. "faster, принцесса. wanna cum for you."

her dirty words sent you into a frenzy. using all of your strength left to make her gush. the noises were so lewd it made your head spin. her back arches and soft moans fall from her lips as she tugs on your hair. like a faucet, she's leaking all over your hand, your face, and down on yours and logan's shared sheets.

behind you, logan is too busy trying not to cum inside of you too soon. he's gripping your hips so hard you know that there will be bruising left behind. every now and then you can hear him grunting and smack the fat of your ass, watching as it bounces back at him. the pleasure builds in your tummy. logan's hand snakes under you to rub at your clit.

"f-faster, lo." you whimper, lifting your mouth off of natasha for a second.

"i gotcha, princess." he groans, doing so.

within seconds, you release all over him. the string of moans vibrate against nat's core, overstimulating her until she cums again, soaking your face entirely. logan doesn't last much longer either. he paints your walls white and keeps you stuffed with his cum, only pulling out when it starts to sting a little.

the three of you are quiet for a moment, needing time to recover. who would've thought that two russia assassins and a mutant would need time to recover from anything, let alone sex.

logan's the first to move, going to bring towels and some water. you rest your head on natasha's stomach, she runs her nails against your scalp the same way she would when you woke up from nightmares. a tear rolls down your cheek, thinking about her running away again.

"what's wrong, принцесса?" she whispers, hearing you soft cry.

"just dreading you leaving again." you mutter, afraid to look up at her.

"hey, i'll be here as long as you want me here." she says, lifting your chin up.

"tasha, someone needs to save those girls. dreykov won't stop until someone comes after him."

there's a long pause of silence before she says anything again. her eyes glued to the ceiling, trying not to cry.

"you know, i used to picture a simple life for the two of us. something similar to this actually, minus the grumpy looking man in the kitchen. i wanted to give you a piece of normalcy but i kept running away, afraid i was the one putting you in harms way." she sighs shakily. "i shouldn't have ran. i should've come back. there's so much i couldn't give you but i see that logan can do that for you."

"look, i love logan more than anything but why can't we make it work too?" your question makes both natasha and logan pause, as he returns into the bedroom.

natasha looks up at logan, ready for him to finally yell and kick her out. especially now that she's coming between the two of you. instead he's looking over at you with a spark of love in his gaze.

"i don't think logan would appreciate sharing you full time." she says, avoiding your wide eyed stare.

"i just want my girl to be happy." he responds, lighting another cigar. "think she would be happier with both of us, red."

the time has never been right for you and natasha but who says it needs to be? she's finally back in your life again and you can't risk letting her go again.

"we will help you track down yelena and fight with you to free those girls from the redroom but i want you here with us, natty. please don't go again."

she finally looks down at you and her heart melts. how would she be able to leave you again? not after today. this is where her heart lied, here with you.

"of course, i'll stay принцесса."

[theminecraftbee]

do you think dl pearl and sl lizzie would've gotten along?

OKAY SO I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS. and i think the answer depends on a lot of factors actually because like... okay lizzie and pearl have SIMILAR arcs but, crucially, they have different responses and attitudes about those arcs and also two hurt people who are lashing out at others. are not. in a headspace to easily make friends necessarily.

so we're gonna have to... i think it depends on whether you say "these are those guys in the MIDDLE of their arc" or "these are those guys AFTER their arc". most of the time i think people mean "if they're in the same series" so it would be during, and the answer is "i think dl pearl would be a LOT more willing to make friends than sl lizzie would be".

so like okay. let's unpack that. so let's start with dl pearl. while she's somewhat defined by being alone, lashing out at people, it's 5 am pearl she's doing questionable things and isolating herself in response to the fact everyone has shunned her, it's not that she doesn't want friends. she opens MOST of her interactions with being willing to open a hand of friendship, it's just that everyone rejects her as 'crazy' or 'dangerous', or she's just like, not really wanted as a friend for some reason or another. and then she lashes out, and tells herself she's fine alone anyway, but the key is she does want the friends.

also of note is that, while pearl is associated with being a red name because her COLOR scheme was red and she had her red name skin on basically the whole time, she... wasn't. she wasn't a red name. she was one of the last yellow names actually she only went red in basically the last episode. she was PLAYING UP being red. she was PLAYING IN to the narrative she was dangerous. but she... wasn't actually on red, and while she's often ATTRIBUTED revenge as a motive, it was less revenge and more a defensive "if you're going to treat me as evil i'll show you evil", if that makes sense.

so like, i could see pearl, in a similar scenario to when she allied with ren and martyn, trying to befriend lizzie. because she would see herself in lizzie! hell, arguably secret life pearl DOES do that! but even mid-arc, worst of herself double life pearl would go "oh you ALSO have a broken heart maybe we can be demons together?" to lizzie i think.

the problem is that i don't know if lizzie would buy it.

SO. secret life lizzie. so the thing is about secret life lizzie is that she is ALSO rejected by the people around her. the difference is, it's not for some perceived quality in her that makes her dangerous; she sort of starts isolating herself first, before she tries to reach out. this is because if i had to attribute a trait to life series lizzie it might be paranoid? ineffectually paranoid, she's not paranoid in a way that's useful, but like. she tends to perceive everyone around her as Weirdos who are Dangerous and Out to Get Her. she's the only sensible one around here in her mind. (note that this is not me assigning lizzie of all people as ACTUALLY the sensible one are you kidding me have you seen that lady. this is me saying this is how she tends to see the world.)

this, in turn, works against her. when she's first trying to get everyone to sleep and then everyone to go to the end--in other words, getting everyone to show up to her party--they don't. and it's not, typically, so much because they personally distrust her. (note the way people talked about lizzie was REALLY not the same way people talked about pearl at all!) it's because lizzie has given them no reason to trust her. she's not an ally, she's obviously trying to do a task, it's possibly a trap, the end is really dangerous, so... thanks but the last party in this series had explosives under it.

the END RESULT is still lizzie being isolated! the END RESULT is still her resentful and alone after no one but joel shows up to her slumber party! but the root causes are a little different. true, you could argue pearl is rejected in part because of her own actions, but it's not in the same way lizzie is. pearl was WILLING to trust, even afterwards, and gets rejected both because of a system that ended up stacked against her and because of one mistake she's not being allowed to make up for. she's persecuted and seen as evil. lizzie, meanwhile, is rejected indirectly, less a rejection of her as a person and more a result of the fact that lizzie doesn't play the social game well, doesn't trust anyone herself, and puts herself at risk as a result of that.

anyway this also adds up with. lizzie was turned red by a horrible careless accident by jimmy. pearl was turned red as part of the final hunt of all the red names on the server, an intentional act. lizzie died first. pearl died last. lizzie was resentful and wanted revenge as a red name, both because of her rejection and because that's who she is as a person. pearl wanted to win as a red name, and her actions as a red name more followed from her already existing actions. pearl was willing to trust and have loyalty, but no one was willing to return it. lizzie doesn't want to have to trust or be loyal in the first place.

the RESULT? i think double life pearl would offer to be friends with lizzie and lizzie would decide that pearl was a crazy person who was mocking her. and which way that ends up resolving to--a friendship, an enemyship, a mutual respect--would be a FASCINATING story to explore from there.

anyway there are people who are better lizzie and pearl experts than me who probably have more to add her and bits of my character interpretation to confirm or deny (lord knows i could have them very wrong i am not good at writing out meta that isn't in the form of a fic) but in conclusion: this too is yuri,

[vscabarca]

immediate regret - pablo gavi

summary: gavi and you fought after a game, so you made him leave your apartment.

genre: angst, fluff

warnings: swearing

———

„Can't you just shut the fuck up for once and not be so annoying? Bother someone else." Gavi yelled through the apartment, making your body flinch at his words.

„i'm just trying to help you!" You spoke in a distressed voice.

„i don't fucking need your help." He was still angry, yelling around the room without even looking at his girlfriend, throwing his hands into the air.

„Why does everything have to be a struggle with you?" You asked him in disbelief, your voice cracking mid sentence.

Barcelona lost against Real Madrid in el Clásico, the most important game of the season. Additionally to that, Gavi received his fifth yellow card, meaning he'll be suspended for the next game.

You knew how hot-headed he could become after bad games, but this was new. All you've wanted to do is make him feel better, so you tried to talk to him. The two of you had your arguments, yes, but he had never yelled at you before.

Gavi felt immediate regret in seeing you stand there almost in tears. He was quick in approaching you, trying to apologize to his girlfriend.

You backed up, feeling a familiar tightness in your throat as your vision became blurry.

Quietly, but with a firm voice you spoke to him.

„Leave my apartment." It wasn't much what came out, but enough to make Gavi widen his eyes in devastation.

„Pero nena... please, i didn't mean it like that." he argued with pity but you couldn't stand seeing him right now.

„No, i dont wan't you here tonight, not after what you've said." Your voice trembled but you still wanted him gone. Maybe that way you both could cool off a bit.

„Look, i'm sorry" Gavi wanted to embrace you in his arms, but you interrupted him.

„Just leave Gavi, i can't see you right now." Tears were streaming down your face, making it hard to breathe.

He looked at you once more with nothing but regret in his eyes and left your apartment with a huff.

In the car he scolded himself for being so reckless with you, trying to figure out why he said what he said. His temper after games often led to arguments between you two, always bickering about how gavi couldn't control his emotions very well.

You felt like time would do both good. You knew somehow you would fix this mess but didn't want to discuss this in the heat of the moment.

———

Both slept worse than usal the next days, and the guilt ate Gavi up alive. His practice suffered from your fight, his mind was often somewhere else, thinking how to apologize to you.

He spoke to Pedri, getting some helpful advice in return and made his way back to your apartment.

You were currently watching a series to distract yourself from having no contact with Gavi for the last two days.

The knock on your door made your head turn as you did not expect anyone today. You opened the door, revealing Gavi on the other side.

He looked at you with a warm, small smile. In his hands were tulips.

„Can i come in?" Gavi asked carefully, waiting for your answer.

„Yeah come in." You answered, smiling slightly too.

The truth is you missed him very much, you hated fighting with him.

As you got seated, he placed the flowers onto the coffee table.

„you know, buying me flowers won't make me forgive you pablo." You raised your eyebrows at him.

„i know that, but i saw them and still wanted to give you something in addition to my apology." he replied chuckling. „i behaved like an idiot. i should've never screamed at you, you just wanted to help me. You know what a hot-headed kid i can be and I'm very sorry i took my anger out on you amor." he continued, holding your hands in his.

You smiled up at him, realizing he meant it.

„i know it means much to you, but i just want to help you with whatever you're dealing with. You could've just told me to leave you alone and i would've given you some time." you replied sincerely.

„i'm sorry amor. i promise it won't happen again. besides i had the worst two days without you. Am i forgiven?" Gavi asked once more as he scooted closer to you.

„Mhm. i've missed you too." you answered and leaned in for a kiss.

Gavi leaned in too, placing his plump lips on yours.

„i've missed your cuddles." you said as he pulled you down to him and wrapped his strong arms around your waist.

„Then lets watch something and cuddle." Gavi placed a sweet kiss on your head and snuggled closer to you if that was even possible.

[katebisxop]

savior | kate bishop

summary: no one should spend valentine's day alone. well, according to kate, anyway.

warnings: none. gender neutral if you change like one word, though

wc: 728

you close your eyes, relishing the cool water sliding down your throat. the headache from last night had started to fade, though the cuts still stung.

you rest your head against the kitchen wall and sigh, stretching your neck a bit as an attempt to get rid of the ache in your muscles.

a buzz comes from your kitchen counter, signaling a call. you pick it up, smile at the contact name, and hold the device up to your ear. "what is it, kate?"

"can you open the door please?"

your smile starts to droop. "what door?"

"your door. duh."

"oh, please don't tell me she got in trouble again." you groan, but walk to your front door anyway. once you open it, you're met with kate, clumsily attempting to hold a box of pizza, a bouquet of flowers, a paper bag, and lucky's leash all at once.

"kate!" you exclaim, catching the box of pizza before it reaches the floor. "what-"

you aren't even given the chance to finish your sentence as she strides towards your kitchen, sighing with relief as she puts down her 'packages' on your table and lets lucky run free.

"what's this?" you demand, your hands on your hips.

kate ignores you and brings out a heart-shaped cake from the paper bag, lighting it with pink candles.

"kate."

"this," the archer blows out the flame from her lighter, picks up the bouquet of flowers, and does a little twirl towards you. "is me saving your valentine's."

you glance at your phone, still unlocked on the kitchen table, and see that it is, indeed, fourteenth of february.

you give her a look, followed by a sarcastic, "really?"

kate shrugs. "figured you, as a miserable single person-"

"hey!"

"-would've spent valentines alone. since you're too nice for that, i've decided to spend it with you!"

"you're single too!" you protest, but thankfully accept the flowers.

"exactly. also, take it as an apology for dragging you into whatever last night was."

a beat. and then a smile slowly forms on your face against your will. before you could say anything, kate takes out a slice of pizza. "so. you hungry?"

lucky comes running from wherever he was, and it was only then you realize why the dog looked different. kate had put a bowtie on him.

"kate!" you laugh. you squat down to pet him, feeding him a slice. "aw, you little gentleman. c'mere. you want pizza? yeah? sure you do, you good boy."

"sorry pizza's the most romantic dinner i could get."

"it's fine. really. you have cake and flowers and everything."

she taps her fingers on the tabletop, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth, thinking. you notice her silence and give lucky a last kiss before approaching her. "you okay? you don't look very happy."

"i'm fine. um." kate takes a deep breath. "so, i was.. thinking. that.. i.."

"yeah?" you're listening carefully. you were really grateful for her. she was supposed to be resting at home and yet she'd gone through all this trouble to make sure you weren't alone on valentine's day. much like she made sure clint wasn't alone on christmas.

"that i wanted us to be each other's valentines."

"we technically are, though."

"no, i mean-" she closes her eyes. "not platonically. like, i'm asking you... to be my girlfriend."

"oh."

"but it's okay if you don't want to! i mean, i guess i'm sort of putting pressure on you, buying you stuff and all, but i'm not bribing you! i'm just genuinely asking because i really like you and think you're cool, so-"

you turn her around to face you and shut her up with a kiss.

she melts. immediately. you can feel her body relax into you, her hands tentatively placing themselves on your waist. she kisses back, evidently unsure, so you caress her cheek with the pad of your thumb to assure her that it's okay and you'd meant to do that.

when the need for air arises, you part. kate is grinning. "i'm assuming that means yes?"

"it means definitely."

lucky barks, bringing both of your attention to him. he sits there innocently with his tail wagging and his mouth opened into a dog's version of a smile. you start to laugh, kate following shortly after.

so far, this was the best valentine's day ever.

a/n: happy valentine's day, single or taken :)

[ladychota]

Come Home

Pairing - Loki x Reader

Warnings - Angst, shouting, Loki being upset, Y/n going missing/running away, crying (let me know if there's anything you want added)

Summary - Y/n left Loki to keep him safe and prevent him from getting hurt, but her actions had the opposite effect.

Word Count - 1.1k

A/N - If you want to be added to the tag list then let me know!

Masterlist

Carefully prying the window open, you slip inside the room that's given you nightmares for the past few months. Okay, perhaps they're the exact opposite of nightmares - they're beautiful dreams of you and him dancing, smiling, laughing in this very room. But they remind you of what you've lost, each and every moment haunting you like a ghost.

You look around - almost everything is exactly as you remember, though slightly more unkempt and rather... lifeless. This room alone used to be warm and bright and lived in, the walls full of colour and the air full of sweet smells of food or perfume. 

But now the air holds a biting cold; long, dark shadows spread across the floor and walls, sucking out all of the colour that once lit up your life. You can only smell him - that heavenly yet poignant aroma that sits quietly on blankets void of warmth and surfaces void of use. The bed looks slept in, but only on one side: your side. You sigh as those familiar daggers begin to prod once more at your scarred heart.

You daren't venture further into the house, lest your resolve finally crumbles at the sight of it all; or, perhaps worse, if he is here. As much as you'd love to see him, you don't know what you'll say. It's inevitable for him to have many questions, but the answer lies in the letter you hold tightly in your clammy hands, your grip slightly creasing the edges of the envelope.

This damned letter... it had taken weeks to create. Weeks of procrastination and nights with paper on your lap and a pen in your hand attempting to find the right words. There was many a time you planned on ditching it and moving on with your life, but giving him an explanation as to why you suddenly disappeared is the very least you can do.

You inhale deeply, eyes flitting over every inch of dusty surface to find a spot to place this envelope where he'll see it. You had thought about posting it - it would be easier and he'd definitely find it. But you didn't want it to get lost in transit and you're not sure if you could've scraped together enough to buy a stamp; you would've had to have skipped a meal for the sixth time that week. Delivering it yourself is also an excuse for you to say goodbye one final time.

There's a creak as the door opens; you automatically fall into a fighting stance, turning to face the intruder. 

But it's not an intruder at all.

He's frozen in the doorway, his once vibrant green eyes now muted in colour as his gaze flits over you.

"Y/n?" He asks quietly.

"Loki..." You breathe. His face is sunken, his cheekbones more defined and the twinkle in his eyes has been snuffed out. Deep, grey eyebags sit uncomfortably under his eyes and his once luscious, ebony hair hangs limp and greasy around his face.

And yet, as much as his dishevelled appearance disturbs you, he's also just as beautiful as when you first met him.

He takes a step forwards; cautiously, as if you may just disappear in a puff of smoke.

"Where have you been?" His voice is strained, tears welling in his eyes.

You take a short breath, unsure if you're still able to breathe. You don't know what to say; don't know how to answer. He's hurt. So hurt. And it's all because of you. He's left call after call and voicemails galore, all of which you've ignored. He can't be involved in this. You can't let him get injured - or worse - because of you. Though, you realise now, that perhaps it would've been less painful for him to have followed you to the grave.

You shake the thought away. This is better for him. He'll get over it, move on and find someone who actually deserves him.

You can't find the words to respond, your mouth opening and closing stupidly as streaks of despair slowly etch into your face.

"Please answer me," He cries. "I've been looking for you everywhere, I've called hundreds of times, I've done everything I can think of! You just disappeared as if you were never here. I didn't even know if you were alive, Y/n,"

A single tear slips silently down your face, resting on the pillow of your cheek. Words still evade you, thoughts coming and going in a jumbled up mess.

"It's been months! Months since you disappeared without a trace, leaving me here all alone! Do you not understand how hard that's been for me?" His anger has started to bleed into his words and actions now; you don't blame him. You too would be angry and upset if he'd left without a goodbye, let alone an explanation.

You still stay silent, which just seems to rile him up further.

"Why aren't you speaking!? Is this all some way of torturing me? Did I do something to mess this all up?"

He lets out a choked sob, each word sending you further and further into a black hole of despondency.

"You know what? I really needed you," A single note of bitter laughter escapes his cracked, dry lips. "I needed you, and you weren't there!"

You swallow a lump in your throat, the room falling silent save for Loki's deep breathing. There's a pang of pain in your heart as you decide what you're going to do. Reaching over to a nearby bookshelf, you drop the letter on the nearest shelf and look back to the God, tears freefalling down both faces.

"I'm so sorry, Loki," Your voice won't come out louder than a whisper. 

He opens his mouth to speak, but you turn on your heel and jump through the window and onto the streets before you have a chance to hear his voice anymore. You can hear him calling after you, but don't dare to look back as you run down the street, dipping into a narrow, abandoned alley.

Your hand covers your mouth as you slide down the dirty wall of the building, stifling your sobs as everything begins to unravel. You don't know what to do. Your head keeps telling you to move; to leave Loki to live his life. He'll get better. He'll find happiness.

But your heart wants you to run back to him and make it all better again.

You pull out your phone and dial your voicemail, giving in to the temptation of the many messages Loki had left you.

"Hi love, it's Loki. Where are you? I just arrived home-"

You listen to each and every one, allowing the tears to fall harder and faster as you hear him become more frantic; more desperate. Until finally, the last one plays.

"Please Y/n. Please answer my calls. I-" There's a deep, shuddering breath on the other end of the line. "I love you so, so much. I can't lose you. Please, just... just come home,"

A long beep signals the end of the voicemail, leaving you feeling more alone than ever.

Part 2

Tag list: @mischief2sarawr

[dielitttt]

Ceres Observations (childhood/parent addition)

9h or Sagittarius ceres people may have had parents that had two different ideas of parenting, one being strict and one giving freedom. One of them may have been emotionally distant or absent in some way at some point. Their Parents may have taught them or surrounded them with their culture a lot, and traveled a lot whether it be alone or with them.

people with 4h/cancer ceres may have been undervalued or had less attention from the mother but still attached to her, if they have siblings the mother could've given their siblings more attention than they them at some point. I've seen these people to prefer their mother more than their father or stick with their mother a lot tbh.

I've seen many people (including me) who have their ceres connected to some Neptune influence tend to have one or both parents deal with addiction or drug abuse most of the time, maybe witnessing it with their own eyes or not at all. One or both of the parents could've had a hard time connecting with the real world and maybe could've been neglectful at some point. This usually applies to those who have it negatively aspected or in 12h

10h/Capricorn ceres people usually have one or both parents who are workaholics and usually paid attention to their work than them. Their parents often chose their careers and money more which can cause a lot of neglect at some point. They might not have been an emotionally expressive parent; instead, they may have shown you that they cared by merely providing for you. Their parents usually try to put their work expectations on them.

8h/Scorpio ceres (me including) people can have parents who had trouble financially, they borrow money but can usually not pay it back like that. Their parents may have even asked them for money from them but weren't finically stable to give it back. Their parents may have projected their trauma or emotional pain onto them or usually teach them to suppress their feelings. People tend to trust these people easily. They may also have witnessed traumatizing things that's happened to their parents. Type of people who try to heal others but themselves

I've seen many Virgo ceres people learn organizational skills, helping others etc. at a very young age at some point cause their parents may have been a bit messy and busy with other stuff.

Taurus/2h people tend to have one or both parents who buy their love, to substitute the lack of affection or nurturing whether it be emotional or physical, this usually applies to those who have it well-aspected. These people have the types of parents who excuse the fact that they give materialistic things to them or provide for them so that they can't give proper affection. If it's negatively aspected or afflicted it's the complete opposite, they would've lacked proper materialistic/needs and being financially stable.

People with ceres-saturn negative aspects may have had too much or too little freedom/ restrictions from those who raised them. Their father or a masculine figure that was in their life might of been very cold or distant.

Sun-ceres people may have generally lacked attention from their parents, which gives them low esteem and looking for attention else where . this could apply to Venus as well but they try to find this in their own partners or love interest

[kanansdume]

"They just need room to grow"

FUCK YOU, I don't even LIKE Satine much but I swear to God I keep getting put into positions where I have to defend her because what the FUCK.

Satine Kryze literally has Mandalore seemingly peaceful for TWENTY YEARS, most of the citizens appear to live primarily under the domes, and that stupid shithole planet was still a total dustball, but somehow a measly 5-7 years after it got GLASSED, it's suddenly capable of sending out new indigenous plant growth enough for people to farm it and create these totally lush underground cave farms/gardens???

As if Satine isn't the kind of person who would've JUMPED at the chance to do exactly that, to try to preserve indigenous Mandalorian plant life, create jobs so that people who had given up a more warrior life-style had alternate career paths to help rebuild Mandalore, as if she wouldn't have had entire projects dedicated to these gardens/farms and trying to regrow entire ecosystems on the surface of the planet to try to make them livable again.

The concept that glassing the planet created plant life because people just up and left it makes zero sense on its own but it also radically retcons what we know of how the planet fared under Satine. I don't buy for a SECOND that the plants would've reacted better to being glassed even if it meant they were left totally alone for 5-7 years, than they would have to 20 years of peace and no wars with very minimal amounts of space being taken up by the inhabitants. There was SO MUCH ROOM TO GROW with everyone confined to domes so fucking explain that to me in a way that doesn't just pretend Satine didn't exist.

[heretherebedork]

I just have to gush to someone about Phuwin's performance in We Are. Past characters he's played kind of prickly and angsty (and done it really well) and it would've been easy to make this character a bit more like that given all the aggravation Phum is causing him... but he's playing Peem so soft and sweet (other than kicking Phum in the balls that one time ha). I'm loving seeing his acting range and just swooning over this adorable character, like no wonder Phum is having trouble keeping up the bullying and is falling in love instead...

I do love Peem. I am so happy he gets to play prickly but heartfelt and also, very importantly, someone with an entire friend group on his side.

That's what makes Peem such a great character compared to some of his others. Because Peem has friends supporting him and on his side and there for him. He has a bunch of people who care about him and that makes him more fun and more approachable and more able to bounce back from Phum's bullying.

I love Peem because he has his own opinions and his own stances and he gets to be frustrated and annoyed and tell Phum he is and stand by it and push back and make his own space while still caring about Phum.

Most of his other characters were not given that space or that ability and it shows. They were more isolated and thus less able to have those fun moments because they had no one to turn to in order to have them.

... It's what lets me enjoy their relationship. Peem isn't alone, he isn't buying Phum's lies, he's able to be an entire person while also caring! It's so great. So much better than the last time they did enemies to lovers.

[blue-it-up]

Since I've given up on trying to think about anything other than Bi Buck and Buddie, I feel like I should put into the world scenarios that are floating in my head for next episode.

From the stills we've seen it looks like Eddie is pretty taken aback and confused by the Buck/Tommy thing (oh who would've thought).

Also, he and Buck are probably gonna have at least 2 conversations with different tones (the one at the firestation and another one at the apartment).

So I'm thinking first one doesn't go very well, beacuse come on, and the second one is more at the end of the episode. All the while Buck and Tommy are probably going more official and then Eddie comes to apologise and be really supportive, say how much Buck is still his best friend and hey they should really set up something cause this time Tommy is for sure gonna buy 3 tickets for the fights. And hahaha good old buddies and all is right again.

...but the things is: we'll have a 2 week hiatus.

And ABC seems to know us very well, so I can't imagine them NOT doing something crazy for us to lose our minds in these 2 weeks.

So I'm thinking, last minutes of the episode

Eddie is arriving back home, checking that Chris is okay and asleep, and then goes to his bed. Turns on his side, cuddles someone and just sighs happily. A few seconds go by, with him realizing that the form in his arms is way bigger than it usually is.

Eyes open. Looks at face. It's Buck. Sleepy, very soft, very happy Buck. Also, very much in his bed. Like he belongs there.

Eddie shoots up in bed panting, looking around to see he is alone in his room. And why is it so hot in here and why am I dreaming about Buck in my bed and why is my chest so tight and WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? Episode ends.

And I know this sounds a lot like pure fanfic, but hear me out

So did last episode and the sneak peaks for the next one

And these two!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like, to me the main thing for Buddie to happen was one of those two realizing dating men was an option for them. Like, a real one. And that's already happened so...

[scoonsalicious]

okay, thoughts on the latest happenings hmm, first off, I love Tony and Pocket's brother-sister dynamic, it's so funny and sweet. If it were me, I would've asked for a house and a retirement fund and a bunch more but then again, she is already working for Stark Industries, so I think she's already set lmao. And obviously, we already knew Tony didn't authorize the shit Joseph just pulled, but I'm still not buying the fact that she did it alone. I mean, she could've since she's well capable, but something is still very fishy about it.

which brings me to Steveioli (I really like the nickname now, it flows off the tongue so well), hmm, okay, I don't think he's that bad now, but still keeping one eye open because I still don't trust him. Which brings me to my first theory, I feel like this short interaction between him and Pocket is going to cause something. And Juniper will be the one pulling the strings because lol the manipulative sack of shit she is. Like, she's probably good with tech too, so what if she managed to get footage of the dance, or just Steve walking Pocket to her room and then show it to Bucky? (or maybe Steve would give it himself but i digress) And I fear that's going to trigger something ESPECIALLY knowing how Jocelyn is going to spin it. And yeah technically Bucky and Pocket aren't together albeit the blurred lines with this friendship, so she doesn't really owe him anything. But, I wished she could've told Bucky about the interaction with Steve first so he knows the truth of what happened before Jennifer manages to twist it. AGAIN THEORY. But I really do have a feeling Something is going to trigger Bucky to do something rash (not cheat, but I can't pinpoint as to what yet. Maybe some harsh words being spoken or him defending Jomar again). Either way, it's going to be related to Steve because he always seems to be a sensitive topic.

Also, to add, why was my danger alert flaring when Steve handed Pocket that lemonade? Is that me being paranoid? lol but then again, we don't really know what's going on with Pocket being sick so maybe I'm just reaching. But since I have an inkling that she was given something, I'd be wary of accepting drinks from anyone. ESPECIALLY the person who's still madly in love and probably has a secret mission to break a relationship for good. But hey, maybe that's just me.

And I'm so anxious as to what's going to happen on the mission. (help as i was typing this a theory came to mind) What if Bucky gets badly hurt because Jakari sabotages it just like she did with Rhodey? But instead of Bucky being mad at her, he's still going to defend her? Say something about it wasn't her fault blah blah blah and it's going to anger Pocket especially if badly is hurt. OR OR ON THE FLIP SIDE, what if Judith intentionally hurts herself and make it look like Bucky didn't defend her or somehow makes a spin that it was his fault? THEN he'd start taking care of her, not because of anything fishy or feeling wise, but because he feels GUILTY and feels like he HAS to which, goes back to what you said about the way he followed through with his actions. Idk idk I'm probably reaching and I could be so so wrong haha sorry i'm just a theory girly

But anyways, CONGRATS ON FINISHING THE FIC. that's a great achievement you should definitely celebrate! Though I do get this would bittersweet though. But hey, don't be sad that it's over, be glad it happened. Keep doing what you're doing! you're amazing, lots of love!

— Jnon 🤍

Jnon! Hearing from you never fails to make my day! NEVER. I love you and you're perfect. I love writing Tony and Pocket. They bring me so much joy with their banter. Right now, though, Pocket's got no need for a house. I leaned on it much more in earlier drafts, but Pocket's fucking loaded. Like, she may not be a billionaire, but she aint' hurtin', lol. Obviously, Tony didn't send Joe Jonas to Russia; he hates her almost as much as Pocket does at this point, but as for whether or not she got in on her own... well, we shall have to wait and see!

As for Steveioli, it does roll off the tongue so smoothly! There are definitely repercussions concerning his encounter with Pocket at the gala, which you'll start hearing about this afternoon! I want to say so much more, but EEP! I cannot not! I will say, the lemonade, like the Thai food, was safe. No worries there. It was more like Steve trying to make a point to Pocket that he knows her so well. Pathetically. Your theories as to what could happen on the mission with Bucky and Jabba the Hut are fantastic; I wish I had come up with any one of them, but I did not. :( And finally, THANK YOU SO MUCH! I had a moment yesterday where I typed the final sentence and was just like "shit; now what do I do with my life?" I'm pleased to say, I'm ten pages in to With Friends Like These already, so I think we'll be good, lol. And while I was so happy to finally be rid of The Famous Jett Jackson (wow-- that's a throwback; I'm old), I'm nowhere near done with Pocket, I think. I love her too much, lol. As always, I love getting your responses. They make my day! J'scoons

[atarev]

Future Redeemed Rambles/Thoughts

FUTURE REDEEMED SPOILERS!! DON'T CLICK UNDER THE CUT IF YOU DON'T WANT THOSE!!

So! Future Redeemed is A Lot. Both as a prequel to 3 and a book-end to the Klaus Saga.

I am enthralled by it with my only major complaints being the return of the Community system + things like Gem Unlocks being locked behind excessive exploration which doesnt gel with my personal aim for these games which is Get Strong Quick, Punch Big Bad In Face.

Starting off with what started it all, Klaus's experiment and the insights we gained into the Trinity Processor. (I haven't reviewed 2's TP stuff extensively so I might get some details wrong) But i love the details we got! About how Pneuma was engineered as a female persona, Logos as a male one, and Ontos as a (NON-BINARY!!) arbiter! I love how this finally gives context to why Gallea was given godhood beyond her being in the room with Klaus. it's because Ontos; Alvis needed two halves to balance and ultimately introduced a third, splitting his power more to favour Shulk. Whereas in 2, Ontos wasn't even there so Klaus was handed his godhood alone, leaving Pneuma and Logos as purely processors of information. I also think that "those two" that Rex was referring to in the final fight weren't Pyra and Mythra, but rather Pneuma and Logos. Since realistically, Pyra and Mythra wouldn't have helped that much, being about equal strength to Rex as is, who alongside the party in general was already clearly struggling. But if we think about Ontos's actions wholely as a radical conclusion of a machine being actualised, having its two main "weights" present may have actually shut him off (It turns out that Pneuma was kinda sorta there in Matthew's glove, and Logos maaaybe in N's sheath).

Now focusing in on more of FR's specific details and its links to 3. First of all, It Worked!! Origin worked!! It brought the worlds together!! I'm so happy we got to see that. And dude,,,Dude the blending of 1 and 2s world! How Valak and Tantal combined alongside Prison Island! How Colony 9 actually existed! And god how sad it was that it was so ruined and overgrown and it eventually got annihilated by Origin, which explains why we never see the Cent-Omnia region in Base 3, because Origin wiped it out.

What I would've done to hear Rex and Shulk call their kids their son and daughter out loud!! I'm so mad (not really) that they didn't, also I guess Panacea and Linka founded the houses that Rex and Shulk are the statues of, good we got to see the actual founders! As for the 7th, I have absolutely no idea. Maybe it was spelled out and i missed it? It'd be super super funny if it was Riku, maybe A?

Dude, God, A!! I love that her Vision breaks Alpha's Perfect Monado Buster and lets the player beat him! Xenoblade has always been really good about tying its themes and world into gameplay (Yaldabaoth, visions against Zanza, Vs Jin and Malos above Morytha). (Also cuz i was playing with the Japanese voices I had to piece together that that's what was needed LMAO).

And perhaps what took me out the most, Riku's masterpon is MELIA?!?!?!

THE FUCK?!?!?

So THAT's what that nod was in Origin!

Anyway uhhhhh Future Redeemed Good. Buy all the Xenoblade Games on Switch. Do it

[suppuration]

experiencing that "adhd urge to tackle cleaning my bedroom in one whirlwind effort" phenomenon this week

a majority of that effort has been the result of an epiphany that i was getting in "clothing hoarder" territory, with how much i own vs how much i wear. my partner and i split the bedroom 50/50 and i do not exaggerate that a third of my side was packed solid with clothes

it was bad enough that while going through stuff, a solid fourth of it was stuff i had completely forgotten i have, and another fourth of it was stuff i liked enough to buy multiples of so i had a backup when the first one got too worn out (some things, the item was either so cheap and/or i was so in love with them that i had as many as six extra)

i was tired of never having space to even use my side of the room to do more than sleep and use my laptop. of owning a ton of clothes i didn't even necessarily like enough to wear, and a ton more clothes that don't even fit. of owning more crap than i can handle owning

so i formed a rudimentary plan and ran headlong into it. it's been messy, but it's made it lower stress to not have too much structure to my approach beyond a simple "finish one step to completion before moving onto the next." (i would put "simple" in air quotes, but punctuating that would've been awkward. anybody with executive dysfunction can relate to the difficulty of forming and adhering to a granular itinerary)

most of this is rambling, but it might be helpful idk. so far it's looked something like this:

pulling everything out and sorting by like items. putting all duplicates in one bin, and making decisive cuts on which extras i actually need to keep. taking a cursory walk through my definite "yes" pile to see what coords i can make with them

it's made it much gentler for me to have a "yes" bin, a "no definitely not" bin, and a bin for "still thinking about it." (and a fourth bin, but that's the trash can, LOL.) not having to think about it in a black and white "decision now" mentality lets me focus on being brutally honest about whether i love each thing, and whether it's past its prime. yeah i have the skills and tools to repair many types of garment damage, but do i love the item enough to spend the time and effort?

i think the hardest thing has been trying every single thing on to make sure it still fits, and fits in a way i like. it's cruelly hot here. there are some winter things i can barely stand to touch right now, let alone put on my body. i have promised myself that i will revisit the off-season bin when it's on-season... but i did suffer through the fall clothes since that's a majority of my clothing, and it's my favs

having that "maybe" bin has also given me the ability to distance myself from the items and marinate. i looked through my maybes one day later, and found making a concrete yes/no was much easier. like the off-season bin, i have promised myself that i will revisit the "maybes" in six months to see if my feelings on them have changed

which, i cannot emphasize enough. clearly label every bin and bag while you're pruning--and date it!!! that way you'll know the last time you went through that particular bin. i didn't have any lingering receipts or anything to go by, but i know that some of these stored clothes have gone untouched for literally a decade. be kind to yourself and never let yourself say "etc, stuff, or misc" either. if you do that, you will have to open it to know what's in it, every single time. if it's a mixture of things--like scarves, belts, ties--write each thing on it. i also don't recommend a blanket "accessories" label on any "yes" bins for the same reason

it's taken me three days to get this far, and i'm just past halfway going through things i think, but i think i've gotten my clothing possessions down by 30-50% with my first pass over everything

once i have all my definite "no"s culled, i am going to make a second pass over everything in my "yes"es to see if they're all still definitely "yes"es. same with the "maybes." i know i can shrink it all down further, but i need to trim the fat before i can work with the meat, to sound like a butcher for a minute

it's been exhausting and very time consuming, but it's also long overdue and i have multiple spoon-adjacent energy restrictions working against me. sometimes the best self-care you can give yourself is getting rid of what you don't need anymore, so you can appreciate and focus on what you do need and love

(yeah, part of it is me looking for stuff that's in good enough condition to see if i can get a resale shop to take it, money is getting that tight... but god i am drowning in belongings and i cannot stand it anymore nefeysfnstksfnstksfnstksfnstnm)

[aurora-313]

Hello there! Love your fic, got to the chapter where Kaien reunited with Rukia. Found your tumblr, saw you answered questions, and here's one I thought I'd get your two cents on.

Do you think Kaien knew that Rukia had a crush on him? He's a pretty smart guy so I don't think he wouldn't have noticed, just ignored it because he saw Rukia as a protégé/subordinate/little sister. I honestly think he filled in a supportive brother role (as much as he could given he was still her direct superior) for Rukia since at the time Byakuya was still very emotionally constipated. But given it was the first bit of support Rukia had gotten in ages, no wonder she latched on quick.

Although, if guys like Kaien are Rukia's type, he has a very available younger cousin...

Good morning! I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far. Writing their reunion(s) was fun and I hope you continue to enjoy what's in store for the future.

Oh, Kaien definitely knew about it. As a Lieutenant and generally a very social affable guy, Kaien strikes me as a student of human behaviour.

I wager he understood that Rukia's attachment to him stems from her extreme loneliness brought upon by her circumstances; an Inuzuri street rat brought into nobility by an adopted brother whom evidently only did so because she resembled his late wife.

Already that's an off-putting situation and enforces a message that she herself is not valued, only her appearance is. That, and her closest friend, her brother she'd grown up with, all but told her to go when she's already struggling to fit in during every day life.

So Kaien, the first safe harbour in this tumultuous whirlwind of changing circumstance, is someone she'd latch onto instantly. Especially since he doesn't give to licks or a toss about her new nobility - and the Shiba canonically don't buy into that crap either. In his eyes, she's a new raw recruit who failed to greet him properly and needed a kick up the ass to be reminded who's in charge.

He went out of his way to give her solo remedial lessons to cover the things she missed at the Academy thanks to her early graduation; teaching her how to fight, how to commune with and activate her Zanpakutou, and freely offering her guidance and reassurance when she was feeling low or depressed.

How could Rukia not fall a little in love with him for that kindness alone? (helps that he's super easy on the eyes too. ;) )

From his side of things, I figure Kaien saw her as a mix of protégé, little sister and I'd even so far as to say daughter, depending how much older he is.

Had Kaien not died when he did, I think he would've successfully broken Rukia out of her shell and helped her overcome that loneliness to find a place in the 13th.

(Though you have to wonder if some in the 13th blamed her for Kaien's death despite the circumstances being what they were.)

And since ya brought it up; I mean... Kukaku's planning on recognizing that same 'veryavailable younger cousin' as an official member of the Shiba, and the Kuchiki and Shiba could - for whatever reason - require a marriage pact to seal an alliance... you never know~! (I jest)

[maskfree]

Sesame

It happened again. Today's my dad's birthday.

I think I've mentioned before how I hate special occasions. It reminds me of how different I am, how alone I feel, of how much of a people-pleaser my mom is, the overcooking, and things just feel performative like I'm expected to have my photo taken or sing for the karaoke when I don't like doing all these stuffs. They can still celebrate without me anyway. Was only there to help with the cooking and cleaning.

Saw my bro again and he greeted me with a touch. I do think he feels apologetic but at this point, it's futile. He already broke my trust. I'm tired of trying to understand him. I used to even defend him and my sister-in-law from my dad. But now, they all probably see me as the black sheep simply for holding grudges. I don't forgive easily, especially if accountability or admission never happened. I don't like enabling bad personalities. And I don't care anymore 'coz I'm looking forward to my d3ath.

Today I was tasked to cook the rice cake, my dad's favorite. I only have a few white sesame seeds but my mom has black sesame. I tasted the black ones and it's already stale. My mom didn't believe me. She tasted it and says it's still ok. But I know it already isn't, knowing it's expired and not kept in the fridge. But to satisfy her, I still tried to use it by roasting it first. She insisted there's no need to roast it coz an aunt said that whenever they buy those abroad, it's already roasted by default. But the label only says black sesame seeds, no mention of "roasted". I used to buy black sesame seeds too coz I enjoy cooking Japanese food. I just hate that my mom doesn't trust me. It took my cousin, who often cooks this kind of rice cakes, to make my mom believe that the black sesame seeds are already bad. My mom then blamed me that it wouldn't have tasted bad if I didn't roast it. Honestly, I'm hurt. Besides not believing me for little things like this, she even blamed me for my decision to roast it when in fact, the best way to enjoy black sesame seeds is to roast them.

This is just one of the many many instances how my mom doesn't trust my judgment. My dad is the same way with respect to other aspects. I grew up questioning my sense of judgment and my decisions. They would also gaslight me into thinking that it's only their opinion/decision that is correct/factual. I think this is where my alexithymia also stemmed from as well as some mild case of anosognosia. Parents who are unbelieving, untrusting of their child should've never given birth anyway. Sana sila na lang yung nabaog e, hindi yung mga gustong gusto talaga magka-anak 🙄

My old self-esteem is just so bad during my formative years. I am ashamed of the old me who thinks it's a huge blessing to be validated by another, or those times when I felt I had to be grateful when someone well-regarded tagged me along even if often, they're just using me. I suddenly remember how worthless that I see myself. How much I devalue my own being/presence. How I let others trample my worth.

I do believe I've grown a lot stronger over the years that the old me could never imagine. But now I'm not sure if this is all I got. If this is already my utmost. My memory has been fuzzy. My brain has been struggling more to protect me. I feel heavier now more than ever. My period has been delayed. I may no longer devalue myself anymore but I'm just tired of everything. Of keeping my sanity. If they like comparing me to others, well, if I had the choice, I would've liked to have grown into a more accepting and healthier family. Not this family.

Still, I'm glad my dad extends his life for another year, the same for everyone else in the family. They enjoy living so they deserve it. As for me, I don't enjoy life so I could only wish to rest in peace very soon.

[sparkliingdust]

It's wild to me that Taylor was going on her merry lil way in her career, trying to write good songs, be a good role model, break some good records, and then the VMAs with Kanye happened. Speak Now could've definitely happened on its own and probably already was given the timeline she was writing in 2009-2010, but that moment at the VMAs added such a vicious sheen of people thinking she was undeserving, didn't work hard, didn't write her own music, didn't work on her own art. Her response became about proving herself by writing a record on her own, of delving into growing up, and showing empathy after being humiliated on a global stage - even if Innocent isn't up to everyone's tastes, people expected her to put been to paper and draw blood, and still she extended compassion...

and then K&K continued to fake making amends to take her down. After Red and going into 1989, she reimagined her career - in some ways successful, in other ways not so much - into the pop stratosphere, with the general public and what she had become known for, and still they wouldn't let it go - illegally recorded that phone conversation, edited it for mass consumption, included a nude figure of her in one of his music videos alongside K and Tr*mp, just as she was on the cusp of overexposure for shits and giggles and even more temporary superficial fame. Whatever was planned after 1989, Karma or whatever, Reputation became about finding the moments of light in the dark, something real in the white noise, not listening to people telling you to shut up when you tried to speak out that someone dragging you through the mud is wrong, making art in the midst of cancellation. And, then, Lover became a response of what happened during Reputation - really putting herself and her relationship with Joe out there perhaps because of all of the privacy they both chose to do, trying like face imposter syndrome, to rediscover what music she could've made between 24 and 30 years old if Reputation hadn't happened.

As a Swiftie I've ruminated and ranted about many parts of Taylor's image, what she does with her fortune, etc. But every album since 1989 set her on an entirely alternate trajectory given that each one has dealt with those two events - the VMAs and cancellation. And even through the Time interview and songs on TTPD (like thanK you AImee which I don't think is about Kim but to each their own), people were still saying that 'success and sell out tours should've satiated her fears', like 'everyone has moved on, why doesn't she'. There are some pains that truly crystalize parts of who we are, and I really dare anyone to say that being globally humiliated twice (and to come back with as much success that she has had) aren't formative experiences for her, let alone anyone else. Songs from Lover, folklore, evermore, midnights, and TPPD are definitely evidence of that.

IDK Life is life and we grow from it, but I wonder what those three albums of her career would've been like - especially post 1989 and onwards if maybe the most she had to contend with is a fallout with Calvin and buying her masters/re-recording her versions.