#Thank u for coming thru w the source!!!

[despertara]

Hey you reblooged a quote that was attributed to Franz Kafka but I wanted to let you know that it was actually written by an independent poet over on TikTok! I figured I'd let you know a. So the original poet gets credit and b. Because the whole piece is very beautiful and I think others should read it Here's a link to it https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT82hjdTC/

Omg thank you!!! Linked above + transcribed below:

DOOMED FROM THE BEGINNING My father is a good man. Sort of. He is good when I compare him to His own father, and that's enough. I hope. My father and I are more alike than I'd care to admit, and whenever I feel Pure rage, I know I am my father's daughter. My father has gotten ... better. I cannot help but wonder if it is too late. He now asks why I am so Angry, why I raise my voice. He does not understand that I learned it all from him. I know it is my father's first time on this Earth, too. And I know He had it worse when he was little. But I was little too.

[onlyjaeyun]

may i ask what u had in mind for jayke's backstories :0 if we rlly wanna get into it then i can see jayke being fun and carefree BECAUSE they weren't able to act that way at home,,,

maybe jay has strict rich parents who always wanted him to be mature and poised when he was just a kid who wanted to play w his friends :( he learned how to chef it up thru the private chefs at home and learned how to look after others from the butlers and maids that raised him. he's also an only child so the friendgroup are the siblings hes always wanted and he def found a brother in jake so early on i his life bc he was rlly lonely as a child /:

as for jake... he has an older brother (ima age him up hella to fit the narrative) and his older brother cared a lot for him but he was the picture-perfect child and their parents pressured jake to follow in his older brother's footsteps at such a young age. like cmon he was 7 being forced to study physics bc his brother was aceing his high school physics exams on the way to go to the most prestigious colleges w a physics degree. and with their big age gap his brother didnt have time to play w him much bc he was alsays studying and their parents were so focused on the older sibling. jake finds a brother within jay bc hes also lonely and jay was the only person he could be himself around.

now that ive thought ab this man jayke as a duo is so precious to me 🥺 theyre brothers thru and thru bc they found a home within one another. jake always so excited to try new recipes jay is trying out, jay loving to model and style jake, jake sending jay goofy selfie updates of his day to jay, jay being the first person jake calls in the middle of the night for a late night convenience store run which leads to some crazy shenanigans. jayke also building their first lego set tgth when they were 9 and it's displayed in a glass case in the living room of their shared apt.

im sobbing thanks for reading all of this i didnt expect to get super into 😭

-💫

NONIE WHY DID THIS MAKE ME CRY 💀💀💀💀 i'm too emotionally attached to these characters its not healthy.

honestly i love love love your thoughts and theories and i think mine are pretty similar in some ways but not quite and that just makes it so much more exciting 🥺

yk me, i'm just...brutal when it comes to backstories so pls be aware......

poison!jake was raised by a single mother who was never home because she worked so much. she worked late evening and night shifts and would sleep throughout the day so jake basically had to raise himself. she never physically abused him but because he was her main source of exhaustion (since she had to work to provide for him) she's slowly started growing hateful towards him and jake basically tried all of his life to please her just to fail miserably. his mother was never a mother to him, father not in the picture at all and after years of verbal and mental abuse he found a safe haven in jay. they met in middle school and for jake it was quite clear from the very beginning that that guy was his soulmate. he'd never openly say it bc they're too goofy and unserious for that (bc of their childhoods) but there's no person on this planet he's as grateful for as he is for jay.

jay's backstory is kinda similar to heeseung's just the other way around. up until he was seven he had the most picture perfect family with two loving parents who loved their son and each other with everything they have, until his father passed away in a car accident and his mother started resenting her son because he survived and the love of her life didn't. similar to the parks and heeseung he unfortunately was also mentally, physically, emotionally and verbally abused up until he moved out for college and the only person in his life, besides his friend, to show him love was his grandmother. she was the one taking care of him when his mother was at work and she'd even cry with him whenever she spotted new bruises. the only reason he goes back to his hometown every now and then is to visit her grave and keep her updated on his life.

both jake and jay dont have contact to their mothers so they're each other's only family. jay always introduces jake as his brother and whenever people ask him who his favorite person is jake responds with jay. they really are each other's rocks and im literally tearing up writing this URGH

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

not 2 exaggerate or anything but youre my absolute fav writer on tumblr 💥💥💥💥💥 im a big fan of domestic/comfort/simple, warm moments type of genre in fics and your works just rlly scratch that specific itch in my brain. whatever fics u post im like yo.... this is everything im looking for in a fic..... wheres the source from..... r u sucking them out from my brain be honest have u dug a hole already and using me for popularity 🤨🤨🤨 (/J)

might be bc im on my period or wtv but i was gg thru your masterlist ytday night before gg to sleep and i cried while reading "i've alw loved the way you eat," "i dream now of a normal life with you," and "ask me to leave and i'll stay forever." like jfc theres such a specific type of intimacy and soft moments you convey through your words SO WELL i physically feel my heart melting reading them. like UGH esp in "i dream now of a normal life with you" where suguru is just so soft and sappy over reader im just like UGHHHH I WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE ME LIKE THAT AND FOR ME TO RETURN BACK THE SAME LOVE, IF NOT MORE TOO!!!!!!!!!

u get it, u rlly do - honestly u have the best fanon hcs and characterization of suguru i love that man sm so to see him so accurately represented rlly makes me so happy tq for understanding him....... sometimes i see a mischaracterization so bad in a fic i just have to close the app and touch grass LMFAOOOO but u get it.... u rlly do.... never once posted a wrong hc about suguru.... op ur brain <333 u make me so happy i love u sm thanku for creating such beautiful fics i alw come back to reread a bunch of ur stuff, they never get old, it's literally everything im looking for. idc how "boring" hurt/comfort fics r, like even if there's no drama, sometimes simple is best and u do it so, so well thanku op i lov u muacks ❤️

anon ……….

you are . the sweetest in the whole wide world. in the universe. u genuinely don’t UNDERSTAND how big my smile was when i saw this…. melted into a tiny little puddle on the floor

I LOVE YOU….. 🥺🥺🥺 i love you forever and ever and i’m so thankful for your support!!!!! i don’t even know where to begin i’m so overwhelmed pbdkdbdj (AFFECTIONATELY)…. YOU CALLING ME YOUR FAV WRITER? IS SO INSANE??? AND SUCH AN HONOUR????? i cried a bit ngl i’m just. very very thankful T_T but anon.. you can’t expose me like that </3 how am i supposed to get my daily dose of clout if you go around telling ppl abt the ideas i steal directly from your brain???? smh /j ily <3

I’M. just. so unbelievably happy that my writing can mean something to you 😭 and make you feel something!!!! when i hear that ppl cried reading one of my fics i always get so . emotional. it just means so much!! i don’t want you to cry but i’ll accept your tears happily :’3 i hope they were sappy tears and not Sad Tears…..

ON THAT NOTE. THE SAPPINESS. THE SOFTNESS. YES. i’m so happy you could feel it bc most of my fics rlly are just intimacy and nothing else and!! i rlly like writing them that way….. m just happy you enjoyed reading them too :’’’3 i dream, now, of a normal life with you is very near n dear to my heart so!!!! i’m overjoyed that you liked that one in particular 🥺🥺🥺 it just makes me feel so happy and appreciated and . i want to explode a bit. soft sappy sugu is best sugu!! i’m sure you’ll find a love like that some day anon <33 we all deserve it!!

ON THE TOPIC OF SUGU. there truly sincerely is nothing i love hearing more than anons who tell me i do sugu justice. IT MEANS SM TO ME…. he’s so complex and multifaceted and knowing that my own take on him can resonate w anyone makes me soooooo happy…. 🥺🥺 and you saying i have the best characterization of him????? just makes my soul want to ascend. sniffle. thank you!! he’s our golden boy and i love him very much…. honestly i’m way more picky abt gojo than sugu when it comes to mischaracterization but i understand you completely anon…. sometimes i see a take that my brain won’t even let me conceptualize bc i disagree with it so much and then i just have to close my eyes and reboot </3

op ur brain <333 u make me so happy i love u sm thanku for creating such beautiful fics i alw come back to reread a bunch of ur stuff, they never get old, it's literally everything im looking for. idc how "boring" hurt/comfort fics r, like even if there's no drama, sometimes simple is best and u do it so, so well thanku op i lov u muacks ❤️

sorry had to copy paste this bc it made me want to CRY. you make ME so happy hello???? you have no idea the pure amount of endorphins this ask gave to me 😭😭😭 I’M HAPPY I CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY…. you have my whole heart and soul anon atp let’s just get married i think . my heart is yours to keep!!! i can’t tell you how mushy i get knowing there are people out there who read my fics not once but multiple times….. yeah. i’m just. very grateful for you anon <3333 thank you so much for your support and for sending me this lovely ask. i’m gonna be reading it forever n ever !! :((((

[inkykeiji]

i was in a v unhealthy relationship for a few years. im submissive by nature & codependent bc of childhood trauma. the relationship finally broke me & it took monthss + therapy to wire my brain back to ‘normal’. ur stories don’t trigger me, I actually rlly love reading them & can relate to a few such as ur poison dabi story (ik some parts are dramatized but ur writing is so detailed & u hit the nail on the head w toxic relationships) Do u write from past experiences or ppl u know went thru this?

oh anon <3 i am so sorry to hear that you went though that. absolutely nobody deserves it. but i am so proud of you and happy for you to hear that you are doing better now!! i myself have been in therapy for almost a full year now, and it really does help, but it is truly a slow, long, and hard process. it requires a lot of effort and strength, so i am genuinely so proud of you <3

tw: abuse, toxic relationships, clari overshares

i write from both. i have never been in a toxic romantic relationship, but i have been verbally and emotionally abused by more than one family member for a very long time, in addition to other things that i do not feel comfortable getting into online. i hope you understand <3

when it comes to the romantic part, my mother and her mother have been trapped in a cycle of relationships exactly like the ones i write, and i have witnessed them and quite literally lived with them, in that environment, for my entire life.

so those are the two personal, real life sources that i pull from when it comes to toxic relationships. they are dramatized as you said, and more often than not romanticized to some extent because it’s dabi and i love him more than anything lmao, but my writing helps me work through my own trauma and make sense of it, even just express it, and i am so incredibly happy to hear that it can be an outlet for you as well. that means the whole world to me, to hear that <3 i’m glad you don’t find them triggering!!!! but i do always always always urge you to heed the warnings regardless; i only ever want everyone to be safe while consuming my work, and we’d rather be safe and over-cautious than sorry!!

thank you for this message, anon <3

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

i've been interested in learning about numerology, do you have any recommended sites or books about it ? also lol do you know if i should use my name i was given when i was born or the name i actually use for myself when calculating things?

tbh, i am bad at reading so i never read books. n when it comes to websites, theyr all kinda trash nowadays, all the same vague generic info under layers of ads n pop ups..the linda goodman forums can have some decent threads w ppl talking more in-depth about subjects of this nature but i take it all w a grain of salt. its entertaining at the very least. i like youtube cus its easier for me to absorb info thru listening than reading. one youtuber i like is alyssa sharpe, she mostly does astrology but has a few numerology vids that are /ok/ but theyre pretty old. i cant rmember any other channels specifically but theres a lot out there, ill just watch thru as many vids as i can when im in the mood to learn.

they say u should use not only the name u were given at birth, but also the names you've given yourself, all of them are necessary for an accurate reading but just do what ur comfortable with. they say ur birth name is ur destiny number n the ways ur name changes over the course of ur life creates new expressions of ur destiny. thats what ppl say, at least. in one of alyssa sharpe's videos she explains it way more detailed !

thank for asking ^^ sorry i dont have many direct sources to offer i still feel pretty amateur at numerology compared to astrology.

[davidjenkins]

hey guys i’ve been keeping a list since november of the amount of times destiel has gone canon since there seems to be some confusion i thought i’d share it. i’m @ 5 canons rn. lmk if i missed anything and/or if u think one of these doesn’t count

EDIT: i've gone in and moved some things around, i’m also in the process of adding links to my sources

times destiel has gone canon

1. November 5, 2020 - 15x18 love confession (link)

2. November 25, 2020 - dean loves cas back pero solo en español (y yo a tí, cas) (also can we talk abt how cas says me importa todo el mundo y fue por tí: i care about the whole world FOR YOU) (link)

3. December 11, 2020 - 15x18 script leaked (still beautiful, still dean winchester) (cas pulls dean close) (there are so many gems in this script) (link)

4. December 12, 2020 - spanish voice actor guillermo rojas confirms dean’s reciprocation in the original directing of 15x18 (link)

5. December 28, 2020 - 7x02 script leak, dean’s ‘loving, heart-wrenched eulogy’ (link)

not canon content but still fucking crazy

- December 6, 2020 - LOTS of info arose this day, some new some old, thank you @destielintheimpala for compiling all this stuff!! (check out their post here)

5x04 script leak of cut scene of endverse!cas ‘the only thing i think we have left, dean and me, is each other’ (link)

7x17 the line ‘part of me always believed that you’d come back’ wasn’t in the script but was in the promo. perhaps heller jackles ad libbed?? (link)

also from 7x17, script leak of cut scene from when dean tells cas he walked out of the river to fix it he says ‘cause i never stopped wanting to fix it either. so we got something in common’ awwww (link)

CONFIRMED that dean was supposed to say i love u to cas in the iconic 8x17 but they changed the line to ‘we’re family’. i would include this in canon but its super old news (link)

9x22 script leak of deleted where cas’s heaven,,, is filled with pictures,,,,, of dean naked,,,,,,,,, (this was also confirmed by misha in 2014. they’ve been robbing us for years) (link)

10x14 deleted scene ‘all in a desperate effort to save your boyfriend’ i think crowley’s jealous (link)

10x23 deleted scene where dean dreams that cas is his ‘admirer’. this was also backed up by a script leak of the scene. dean’s face ;( (link)

- December 19, 2020 - the c*w erases all traces of spn from its website, app, and youtube page. why stop at bi erasure when u can just erase the entire fucking show? (would link but i literally cannot because the c*w deleted all of it askdjfha)

- December 26, 2020 - 10x23 deleted scene. winchester derangement syndrome. utterly wasted, shattered at the altar of winchester (link)

- December 29, 2020 - WELCOME TO MUSICAL THEORY BITCH!!!!! we r back @ 15x18, cas’s theme plays thru the confession, combines with dean’s at the goodbye to make a beautiful reprise of the two of them together, then fades into only dean’s as dean is left alone. i am in so much pain the composer is a genius and deserves a raise this is so beautiful (this super talented person took the music underneath the confession scene and made it into a beautiful piano piece)

- January 8, 2021 - after various rumors of dean and benny being in a relationship and their falling out being a break up (hi leaked scripts) ty olsson (slur) confirms canon deanbenny in s8. we love bi dean in this house. also this means that all of purgatory, benny had to watch his BOYFRIEND spend and entire YEAR looking for his ex. this is why cas and benny hated each other so much (link)

- January 13, 2021 - gay icon dj qualls saying ‘hi hellers’ and unfortunately saying that dearth isn’t canon BUT he brought up cheerleader jensen which is the best jender AND HE ENDED IT WITH I DONT THINK ANYTHING WAS GOING ON WITH DEAN AND GARTH BUT I DO THINK THERE WAS SOME ROMANTIC SUBTEXT W ANOTHER CHARACTER OK BYE we love queer cast authority on heller theories (link)

[fencesandfrogs]

Hello, hope this isn't a bother, but I've been doing some research into my own Brain Soup and smth I have experienced disassociative/derealization periods for as long as I can recall, which has brought me to looking into osdd(id)+others things lately. A lot of your posts really resonate with me. Would you mind sharing any of the sources you've come across during your own research? I'm not sure where to start and whatever I *can* find isnt really sufficient for what I want to learn more about.

Thanks either way! Hope you're having a decent day <3

i'm gonna link u to my resource masterpost, and include a few links i didn't include in that (bc masterpost was not aimed at survivors), because i would rather you have a solid foundation than run into misinformation. (obviously, i hope you do some amount of verification that i'm not sending you into the arms of said misinfo.)

but i'm also going to give u some advice, which came from prob one of the things i linked but possibly somewhere else:

don't.

it is so so so tempting to dive into research. i know because I Did That. i read thru almost all of the haunted self (i technically skipped over some of the ending bits about treatment because it was too difficult to read), but it's not something i would recommend.

there is of course a minimum amount of research you might have to do to get things under control. stabilization things. did sos (linked in masterpost) is probably therefore your best place to go. look for articles about things like containment. (anything that did sos says is good for cptsd is probably cool to look at.)

i'm not going to tell you you absolutely MUST see a therapist: i won't lie, i think you should, but i understand that might not be possible. even so, researching isn't going to help you. if you have osddid, your brain does not want you to know about it. it will resist the research.

and it can also be a distraction? think of a student who spends forever making pretty notes and no time working through the content.

ALSO AND I SHOULD'VE SAID THIS WAY SOONER: OSDDID IS NOT THE ONLY DISSOCIATIVE DISORDER.

(also obligatory when i say osddid i mean osdd-1 and did, because osdd-2 thru 4 are different.)

dpdr (depersionalization/derealization) is a big one, and a lot of my posts r probably relatable to a cptsd or bpd experience. because structural dissociation is twined.

like y'know. i'm not saying it's not osddid things. i don't know what's going on in ur head. i just want to bring all of this up because y'know. investigate ur experiences. work w a therapist if u can. etc.

best wishes to u nonnie. if u ever want to talk, my dms r open.

<3

[bukojuiice]

— Can you believe 2020 was a thing? ♡ @bukojuiice’s 2020 appreciation list

- bon voyage 2020 !

(we won’t miss you at ALL yet I’m thankful for you in more ways than one)

this year had not been kind to every human being on this planet. 2020 was surreal for me because I had finally found the courage and the time to finally write again and do what I love. I’ve learned and was able to experience so many things, got closer with my family, watched a lot of anime and played a lot of video games and sadly, I also lost a lot of important people in my life this year. However, I’m proud to say that I love and I feel like myself again after years and years of having an existential crisis and for feeling like i am not worthy of anything. Not knowing who I am and not having the drive nor the motivation to do my best both in my studies and in my personal endeavors. Cheers to 2021! May this year be a step into a new era we’ve long been waiting for. ( ੭ ･ᴗ･ )੭

first and foremost, i’d like to thank all my followers (yes, all 580 of u!!) for being there with me thru every step of the way. I can never thank all of you enough for all the love, support, and for watching me pop up with random reblogs instead of updating HSHSHSHS i never would have imagined that so so many people would love and support my work. thank you for giving me a platform, thank you for supporting my works, and thank you for just being there  as a source of inspiration. this is all new to me, and every like, every reblog, and every follow means the world to me. i hope you guys know that! thank you so so much! and i love you guys to the moon and back! all of you are da best!! to more of my awkward ramblings and writings this 2021! (๑•͈ᴗ•͈) i hope you guys will still stay with me as we start the next roller coaster ride for this year! please donut forget that my asks are always open and i’m always eager to make new friends! 

Now on to the tags! ♡٭*

@themagical1sa​ , the only cute nerd on tumblr that i know irl thank you for accompanying me through every breakdown in the middle half of 2020. May it be because of our piling school works, screaming about bnha/ other weird tingz or just sharing crackhead energy with u, always know that i’m here for you always and i’m glad we got closer this 2020! ily my capibara! and know that i’m always here for you! ♡

@softiehawks​, for being one of the first people to grace my inbox when I first started writing again on tumblr! thank you for making me feel welcomed and for just being a very sweet and friendly person in general. i hope we can talk more this year! thank you for everything sophie! ♡ 

@omgevaclark​, IVAAA!!! i can’t help but smile and feel honored every time you leave comments on my smau! you’re one of the kindest souls i’ve ever met and interacted on tumblr! your replies always always make my day and i can never just thank you enough for being one of my main motivations on this site! i can never thank you enough for following my smau and for loving my works! you deserve the world Iva! College is a butt but we’ll get through this! ily!!! ♡

@conejoji​, JOJIIII ILY AND YOUR ENERGY!! your blog theme is CUTE, and your writing i am IN LOOVE!!!?!? right when you sent me an ask, asking for the cat meme i immediately knew we’d be friends LMAOOO thank you for interacting with my dumb butt and for geeking out about spoilers with me! you’re one of the best people i’ve met on this site and i hope we can talk more than just through asks! may 2021 be a great year for you!! ♡

@sokka-simp​, thank you for being the first cutie on here to tag me on a picrew game!! you do not know how much that meant to me honestly! i was really honored and felt like a cool writer on here at least for a moment ;w; AAA you are the sweetest and i really hope we can talk more this 2021!!  AND YES YOU DO BE THE BEST SOKKA SIMP OUT THERE! 😌 you radiate such chaotic vibes especially from your replies!! hope you have a great start to this year!!! ily!!  ♡

@torilovesmiraculous​, HIYAA TORIII! you are a literal angel and i can never thank you enough for being so supportive of my works and for all the love that you have given them, and even replying to most of them!! it really means a lot to me!! you are one of the most supportive people i’ve met and interacted with on tumblr and i’m really really thankful! i hope we can interact more this coming year and i hope 2021 treats you well! ily!! ♡

@katsushimaa​, AAAA MS YSA!! i know we aren’t really at that point where we can be like actual tumblr besties yet but i just want to say thank you for everything!! i can literally not thank you enough for giving my smau a huuuuuge boost and for being one of my inspos and for lit rally being one of the reasons why i went back to tumblr!! (seryoso po ito HAHSHSHS) your works are amazing and you are such. a. talented. writer. myghad. please stay friendly and i hope you’ll have an amazing start to 2021!! i hope we can talk more and i have more chances of plaguing your asks HAHSHSSH ily!! i hope this can be the start of a bootiful friendship!! ♡

@gojo-jojo​, hii kaii!! although we’ve only interacted a few times, with (me sending you an ask AAA being one of those) i just wanted to thank you for reblogging my smau and the tags you decided to add to it made me laugh out loud HSHSHS it really meant a lot to me at the time since i just started writing and seeing chaotic tags like that really motivated me!! thank you!! i hope we can interact more and i hope you have a great start to 2021!! ♡

@ianieworld​, AAAA BORAHAE FELLOW AMI!! thank you for sending me a message and for supporting my works!! i was in a bit of a slump last night so seeing your message and your thoughts really put a smile to my face!! i hope we can talk more this year because you seem really nice!! i hope you have a great start to 2021!! ♡

extra special mentions to: @sita-stark, @kawaii-is-real1, @spicy-lilac​, @lazyfiresuitcasehero​, @lavender-moon13​, @loseratwork, @theunknownrandom,  for being some of da real MVPS who immediately like most of my posts as soon as i hit the publish button!! thank you so so much!! ily guys and i’m just rlly happy and honored you guys support me this much!! thank you thank you!! ♡ i hope you never get tired of my inconsistent posting schedule AAAA

[borom1r]

✋🎉 👔 🌸 😳 for Lawrence and Eric out of those f/o picture asks? :3c (I'm sorry you're having a rough day,, I hope you feel a bit better soon 💚)

ooughjf thanks dude.. i have a vet appt saturday morning but im still. worried abt my cat 😞

n ee wayz sjjdf.... going back thru saw iv got me thinking again (like always) abt how the context of "I'm not the one you gotta worry about" changes if Art is a disciple. thinking about what in the hell he means. thinking abt his apparent surprise at the sight of the ice blocks when HE armed them + what wouldve happened if he just. didnt.

also thinking abt John's "your partner is going to kill an innocent man" line and what if it wasn't Jeff. obviously it was SUPPOSED to be but what if Strahm had trusted his gut n followed Rigg. what if, instead of shooting Jeff, Strahm shoots Rigg before he can open the door because in Strahm's eyes Rigg is already recruited and he can't let Rigg keep going, look at the trail of death he's left behind. Jeff lives, Corbett doesn't lose her father, Strahm never gets stuck in the water cube and Eric and Art live. hmm.... hm.

i also just cant get over the fact Hoffman collared and gagged himself JUST to be a whore. WHEN has John gagged someone EXCEPT for Art, which was specifically suited to the purpose of the trap, or Addy + Allen (which also served the purpose of leaving William alone w/ his thoughts). he makes me insane never once before have i felt the urge to throw rotten tomatoes at a person but he makes me want to. like a cartoon heckler, but im just yelling "WHORE! SLUT!" and trying my damnedest to nail him with a disgusting squishy vegetable

anyways @ that anon who asked me why i hate Spiral. another part of why i hate it is bc IV is SO so good. DLB... i am disappointed </3

Eric time tho!

🤚 Post a screenshot of your f/o’s hand(s)!

hey so while i was looking for pics of Eric's hands n i eventually settled on this one bc i love the way his hand curves around the gun n i love the tenderness of Art's touch. do you ever think about how much fresh blood is caked around his nails? (you can see it in his first scene in IV; 29:14 for anyone really curious) — fresh enough that it hasn't cracked n flaked off, all the way up to his first knuckles. i am thinking about that. i am thinking abt what he was scratching at so hard tht he can still have his nails but have so much fucking blood on his fingers (its his rashes speaking as someone w/ dermatillomania it was his rashes. it breaks my heart. bc ill do it idly but to have THAT level of blood, it comes from a source of distress. he probably dug deep enough to leave permanent scars)

🎉 Post a screenshot of your f/o where they’re smiling/laughing/having a good time.

👔 Post a screenshot of your f/o in a different outfit than usual.

🌸 Post a screenshot of your f/o looking cute.

(yea yea ik but tummy!!)

😳 Post a screenshot of your f/o that flusters you.

i cant get a good photo of this scene but uh. uhhh. i will... admit hearing him yell "YOU'RE NOT JIGSAW BITCH!!" makes me go ape shitt. i want to fuck him so bad in this scene it does, in fact, make me look stupid.

ok now!! Lawrence!!

🤚 Post a screenshot of your f/o’s hand(s)!

his hands make that cellphone look sooooo tiny i-

🎉 Post a screenshot of your f/o where they’re smiling/laughing/having a good time.

he is such a good dad i love him sm i do i love him. thts my husband<3

👔 Post a screenshot of your f/o in a different outfit than usual.

🌸 Post a screenshot of your f/o looking cute.

hey look tummy... do u guys. see a pattern sdjkfhskjdjk

😳 Post a screenshot of your f/o that flusters you.

[alphaketoglutaricacid]

@onehithero said: also we know theres at least some actual animals besides gadoll liek the scorpion n cows tht show up for a sec in ep 1 so tankers hav tht going for them re: food sources ..SORRY FOR RAMBLING SO MUCH deca dence essay got sleeper agent activated

onehithero said: i rly like what usaid abt kabu from natsumes pov too but i cannot form a half cohernet thought abt tht one

onehithero said: ALSO ALSO i think its interesting how the ep 8 conversation w minato is i think the only time kabu talks abt being jealous of humans being able to choose their own paths

onehithero said: also how minatos convinced hes like a good lil cog in the machine yet hes done 50 things tht wuld get him labeled as a bug but he just ignores all tht. the both of them can be so disconnected w reality

onehithero said: like minato didnt know abt 1)natsume 2) how the system has made kabu so severely depressed n he culdnt put up w it anymore.n minato continues pushing the just go along w the system shit he doesnt understand tht he was contributing to kabus misery.. n bc of tht kabu doesnt trust minato enough to tell him abt natsume for so long but then he goes n asks smth so big of him as go against the system

onehithero said: thinks abt how kabu n minato r obviously so important to each other but minato understands him less n less over time & kabu kinda already knew its risky to confide in minato like minato did know abt pipe which was a long time ago but he didnt know abt natsume til kabu was already sacrifing himself for her sake. n yet kabu then goes n tries to get him on his side anyway cuz he wants tht so badly..

onehithero said: OMG OMG CHEWS THESE WORDS SLOWLY N THROUGHLY SO DELICIOUS THANK U THANK U u get it u understand i love reading n writing essay lengh responses abt deca dence & again u just hit the nail on the head w this

Please let me know if this @ u 8 times and sorry if it did.  I will reply under this readmore but i love this enthusiasm! I like discussing this stuff so if u want keep it coming. I wanna understand deca dence better and i think i will by sharing ideas w other ppl. 

I think kabu and minatos relationship  is as good as it is because theres clearly a lot of mutual love and respect between them even when they don’t understand each other and thats why minato still runs after him when he hears kabu going suicide mission lets go baby. I think its interesting that minato was like ready to lie down and accept getting mass scrapped until he hears kabu go im about to be hilarious and hes like actually living and staying alive sounds great actually forget what i said about it being over.   you are so right about kabu and trust and natsume. I will always cherish episode 5 where kabu gives this big rousing speech about how natsume inspired him and saved his life and minatos there like ..who? ..what?? I think they may not be used to hiding things from each other. Also I think them drifting apart mirrors natsume and feis drifting apart tho I think while feis the instigator on that side kabus more on his side and minato like natsume is like wondering what in da world is going on. I think someone else wrote about this better than I can.

I do think minato does know kabus severely depressed because theres this line in ep 4 where he puts his hand on kabu and says like you’ve toiled enough at that awful job. and also in episode 11 when he and kabu talk and kabu says he was in a similar place as minato now in that he was waiting every day to be scrapped minato has no reaction until kabu says but that bug saved me. I think he knows kabus very depressed but he does not know how to address it cuz the system never gives either of them the tools or options for it. Though also I feel the system discourages meaningful relationships between the cyborgs so I think what minato and kabu have is likely pretty rare. Kabu donetello and turkey also fought together for a long time but turkey turns on donetello in a second even tho they fought together, he was his number two, and they were in prison together, and were pretty much all they got and donetello kills him in turn. I also think minato probably knew because he’s empathetic. Like I’m not sure about compassion but he’s very good at understanding where other ppl are and how to meet them in the middle so both parties get something they want. That’s how he got all the gamers to collect the old deca dence parts. Not by cashing in on ppl doing the right thing but by framing it as the final mission. He gets his lgbt community center coworkers for fight with him one last time by appealing to their sense of duty. He got the system to put kabu in jail instead of getting scrapped when Mikey got scrapped for a lesser offense. The list goes on. A tangent but I think the fact he acknowledges the living conditions of the humans are gonna get worse if nothing’s done even tho he’s apathetic at best towards them shows even when the system tries to mold the cyborgs into the roles it wants, sometimes the traits they have just keep on going despite themselves. I’m gonna stop myself before I go into jill and this theme but I’m gonna talk about it someday. So I think its more likely than not he knew but he didn’t know how to navigate around it also because it’s heavily implied he’s going thru the same thing and I think kabu might genuinely have no idea Bc kabu lacks empathy but his heart... is huge. When he hears minato express his feelings of not knowing what he wants he instantly tries to reach out and explain minatos not alone in what he feels. This is why they’re good foils. while kabu moves past where he was in the start where he states he does not intend to oppose the system and his compliance while also trying to do the bare minimum drives him to suicide, and finds the willpower and a reason to live and rebel against the system through his connection to other people (first natsume , he hangs out w kurenai sometimes too, and then with the jail robots). Meanwhile minato whos stuck in his literal ivory tower (it’s a Metaphor) never makes any of these connections. It’s the irony of kabu working at a armor repair job giving him some ability to connect w others vs minatos higher position isolating him from everyone else. I think kabu living amongst the ppl he harmed drove him to give up on life quicker, while minato being far apart shielded him from rlly having to see the effects of his actions I think he was headed a lil slower in the same direction. I think we’re led to believe minatos okay where he is but I think towards the end it’s clear minato has spent most of the series also in a bad place. I think he views things very similarly to kabu in that he wants to use what power he does have to protect the ppl he cares about similar to how initially kabu tried to just convince natsume to quit several times and he was like whatever at the rest of the humans who are natsumes comrades dying but he chooses to put it all on the line and try for some systemic change when he sees natsumes determination to fight. Also I think minato holds very little loyalty to the system cuz he doesn’t only like breaks 1000 rules for kabu (the hypocrisy) but he also looks the other way a lot. For example, when he overheard the top rankers talk about limiters he’s like I’ll pretend I don’t hear it also turn on private mode next time and he doesn’t berate them for considering cheating. Also donetello has been using an illegal avatar to climb to S rank again (isn’t it interesting that even after the ranked system is abolished something similar took its place). And his avatar looks the same as it did when minato worked with the guy. There’s probably like not that many ppl in s rank. And he calls himself donetello. Minato knows he’s supposed to be in jail but does he tell anyone? He’s like well.. that looks like someone else’s problem if they notice *goes and vapes* it’s so funny how little minato cares but it’s also not funny Bc some of minatos cruelest actions and things he’s complicit in are born not outta malice but apathy to everything. I think it shows (tangent number 4?) how the systems use of excessive force is counter productive cuz neither minato nor kabu are willing to report anything to disrupt the order Bc neither of them think the level of punishment is warranted. I also think that minato is probably the first person kabu really opens up to about why on a personal level he feels the system needs to be destroyed after Ep 7 is really interesting. It really speaks to how deep their [mutual and not platonic relationship I don’t know how to label ] is. I also think that he admits to minato that he envies human is rlly interesting and would like to hear what u have to think! I think it’s interesting that what really sets minato off is kabu saying he wants to choose for himself and also wants other cyborgs to have that freedom and I think it’s one of the few times we see minato get genuinely angry and have it not stem from worry. Tangent 5 I’m really extrapolating here but I think it’s very likely given how high up minato is that he likely knows of several cyborgs that rebelled against the system for similar reasons as kabu and knows how it ends and I think it probably feeds into his defeatist attitude. I think his role in the system must really kill whatever grasp of whatever minato has cuz he constantly has to act like it’s almost the end of the world and he’s strapped for resources all the time for like decades and decades of having to fake that type of desperation to entertain ur player base and cuz ur also on tv to entertain the general populace to distract them from their soul sucking jobs. I think that’s gotta mess with his perception of himself and also his ability to see that struggle as real and genuine. I think that’s also gotta be hard cuz he seems like out of his whole fuck we r under attack persona he seems like he’s a lil closed off but generally chill and somewhat upbeat to ppl who know him and he just wants to be isabella from animal crossing. I got really off track here. I think what really gets me is their relationship is built on knowing each other so well and so long , and how it’s managed to survive and persist through all this tragedy. They really mutually respect and love each other and that’s why kabu let’s minato walk away from his revolution even tho it compromises everything he works for. It’s why minato ultimently accepts kabus willingness to die for a tanker even tho he really doesn’t get it at all and it means it’s goodbye forever. But it’s still not enough to save either of them. Minato can’t save kabu from trying to passively starving himself to death and I’m not sure if kabu even knows where minato is at mentally. Sometimes no matter how close u are to someone there r things u miss and things u can’t help each other with. Even tho the two resolve to fight and then die together cuz this seems like the best choice Bc the system they were born into offers no alternatives, the deca dence doesn’t even activate without the help of other ppl. I think it shows one relationship cant support all that weight. In the end it is through their bonds with other ppl that gets them to an ending where they both survive when they decided alone their only option is death. Also u are so right about the other animals existing I totally forgot ty I cannot believe I forgot about the scorpion which calls to natsumes hairstyle which is a visual gag on how natsumes a bug and how like a scorpion, although unassuming, and fucking kill u, just like how her trying to get her boss to open up eventually leads to the whole thing toppling down. I also have a lot of thoughts about natsume but I’m still thinking of them and thinking hard Bc sometimes she becomes kabus inspiration Pinterest board and I don’t like that. When she shines she really shines but it starts getting sloppy towards the end so I have to think a lil longer about it. Okay I’m done. Also it’s kinda hard for me to look like I’m agreeing to ur points and nodding in this format but I really appreciate ur thoughts and will try to convey this. Maybe by formatting as a response to each of ur replies next time

[togglepawz-moved]

LISA: the grim

owo whats this......a lisa fangame? well, actually, a potential lisa fangame, but yknow.

lisa: the grim is a hypothetical lisa fangame abt 2 men, bentley n donald, who meet through a twist of fate. they accidentally wander on2 enemy gang territory n get attacked after hearing the cries of a distressed child n wanting 2 investigate. after slaughtering countless gang members, they finally find the source of the screams. a badly beaten n anxious little girl tied 2 a tree.

ben n don decide that they must find a safer place 2 raise the girl, named greer, no matter how hard it will b 2 do so. along the way they keep being confronted by the brothers, the enemy gang they stumbled across b4 finding greer, n the leader of the gang, simply known as “the true brother,” wants the girl all 2 himself.

characters:

bentley wickerbach

bentley wickerbach, also known simply as ben, is considered by most 2 b a starving artist, often doing graffiti on the walls of caves n such rather than taking care of himself. hes heavily inspired by the works of banksy, n has been since a young age. his mother died due 2 complications after childbirth, n his father died after a botched surgery 2 get rid of a tumor in the right side of his neck, leaving him 2 live with his aunt (she wasnt abusive or anything, she rlly did try. she was just extremely poor). art is a coping mechanism 4 the childhood trauma he had 2 go thru, n so he dedicates his life 2 it. hes brutally honest, serious, n tends 2 b sarcastic sometimes. also hes trans n gay bc yeah lol.

donald frances

donald frances, or don, legitimately cant b described in a serious way. i cant capture the essence of his being w/o saying “hes chaotic neutral n cursed as fucking hell” bc thats exactly what he is. hes just gay n likes pranking ppl. probably eats cereal w/ a fork. like, he just fucking stabs it in there. hes an absolute utter dumbass n thats why ben both loves n hates him. a complete fucking disaster gay. like if u look up disaster gay in the dictionary he’ll b there. n no, i never said as a picture.

greer (wow no surname)

greer is a mysterious case, being 1 of the only females left in olathe after the flash. shes young, n with that comes a natural curiosity 4 her age. the only thing holding her back is her debilitating anxiety. she struggles w/ trauma she cant remember thanks 2 the fact that the blows that were inflicted 2 her head during her time w/ the brothers caused very bad amnesia. she couldnt remember anything by the time ben n don found her, except 4 her own name. she uses a makeshift scythe made out of wood n an old, decaying tooth from a mutants carcass. she cant remember where her locket is from (yet again, thanks 2 her amnesia), but its very special 2 her. she babbie

the true brother

the true brother, being the main antagonist, is always there 2 try n slow ben n don down. hes cold, vindictive, n tough, making him a difficult opponent in battle. a very proud leader of his gang. hes always attempting 2 recruit ppl he thinks might have potential. yes, the skull is real. yes, those r teeth/claws on his shoulder pads. he may have some connection 2 ben...

the mysterious stranger

an ominous figure who has been following ben around. they dont ever try 2 actively hurt him, they just...stalk him. the skull they wear indicates that theyre affiliated w/ the brothers, but other than that they dont appear 2 b a threat.

other things:

the ability to graffiti things on2 walls n stuff. it wouldnt rlly add 2 the plot but yknow. it would b fun.

homoeroticism. lots of it.

exploration of mental illness and trauma. especially thru ben n greer.

u get 2 kill child predators. or, the brothers.

baby holds a scythe. babys 1st murder victim.

all original sprites n backgrounds. ok mayb not the backgrounds part but i wanna test out my sprite-making skills ok.

original music. not all of it but there will b original music.

idk u get 2 hug greer. hug babey

im. uh

its planned that it will b available 4 free on gamejolt or something if i ever make it but idk. if i ever make this itll b my 1st full length fangame so it will definitely not b perfect. is anything ever perfect, tho?

what do i put @ the end im sorry guys no 1 ever taught me how 2 talk

[thegeminisage]

5 headcanons for Arthur, Merlin, Morgana, and Gwen

ANON I LOVE YOU thank u

im doing these in reverse order bc i wanna save the best 4 last

GWEN:

i think she genuinely enjoys taking care of people. it’s a role she’s forced into a lot - she takes care of her dad, elyan, morgana, uther, even merlin and arthur once in awhile, even HUNITH - but i think she’s the kind of person who finds genuine fulfillment in doing that kind of thing (she picked FLOWERS for morgana just because), and if she hadn’t been the blacksmith’s daughter she would have made a fine apprentice to gaius herself

she’s a better rider than you. and arthur. and elyan. and morgana. and everybody

we never hear word one about gwen’s mom but i like to imagine she died just before gwen and morgana met (which i’m assuming happened shortly after morgana came to camelot) - and gwen, who had just lost a mother, could easily sympathize with morgana, who had just lost a father and was somewhere new and unfamiliar - and that’s why they became such fast friends

gwen is probably a few years older than morgana - i like to think she was morgana’s maidservant from the start, but i don’t think they would have let her be a maidservant to the king’s ward at age 10, so maybe she’s 3ish years older - not so much older she strays into big sister territory, but old enough to do the job required of her

nobody among the knights/guards really knew what to make of gwen or arthur’s feelings for gwen because she’s ??? just a serving girl ??? like they didn’t dislike her exactly and they respected arthur’s choice for the most part but they also didn’t know anything about her and couldn’t see why the fuck arthur would make such a stir over her when it would be so much easier not to. this changes 100% after gwen’s shenanigans with smuggling leon out of camelot; leon comes back singing her praises like ok ok i GET HER now y’all ain’t gonna believe how she got me outta that cell and on leon’s word (and because she’s elyan’s brother and he’s a knight now too) everybody else warms up to her too

MORGANA:

this is practically canon but she’s a lesbian, obviously. gwen was the first girl she had a crush on

this isn’t a headcanon exactly but i wish bbc merlin had had a better budget because you know who deserved a black cat familiar? morgana. like, aithusa made a wonderful foil to merlin’s relationship w/ kilgarrah and i would not wish aithusa’s fate on any creature let alone some poor innocent cat, but also, the IMAGERY...it could have been so good

this is also sort of canon but i think she dresses expressively, hence the goth look after she goes evil. @dellesayah​ & i joke about her “evil girl eyeliner” in season 3 but honestly look the way the girl wears 100% black in s4 and s5 i think the eyeliner was her own private expression of her inner angry goth post-poisoning when she still had to be wearing those colorful dresses to fool everybody into thinking she was the same good girl morgana in s3

same age as arthur. idk why most fics have her being older - tho i admit her being older but still not being able to inherit the crown is a VALID source of her rage - but if she was born w/ magic is makes the most sense for her to have been born after the purge started, aka after arthur. i guess it depends on when you think uther cheated on his wife lol. but i never really thought of morgana and arthur as having like an older/younger sibling thing - to me they were more like twins, so definitely within a year of his age, whether it’s slightly older or younger depends on how you feel that day i guess

wintertime birthday. i think arthur has a summertime birthday (more on that below) so it makes her a nice balance to him in that way

MERLIN:

the Most doting son ever. i imagine he had a few difficult teenage years (being a warlock and all) and that he still gets himself into trouble out of sheer stupidity sometimes but aside from that he was probably really well-behaved for the most part just because he didn’t wanna make his mama sad

autumn birthday, since we went there with morgana (to complete the quad in Balance, gwen’s would definitely have to be in the spring)

ok i know colin morgan had to like put on a nice “proper” english accent for the show because katie mcgrath didn’t have one but in my heart merlin sounds like a HICK (whatever the ye olde englishe/modern british version of hick sounds like, he’s it) and his accent only gets worse for all the time they’re at ealdor. like arthur THOUGHT it was bad he probably picked on merlin about it all the time but he had NO IDEA how bad it gets! none! and EVERYBODY in ealdor sounds like that except somehow EVEN WORSE! gwen and morgana think it’s UTTERLY charming but arthur is SO GLAD to get back to camelot and away from all that nonsense! and so then ok when they meet balinor in s2 (who speaks like a normal human being) he listens to merlin talk for 5 minutes and IMMEDIATELY knows exactly where the fuck he’s from. #hicksrepresent

merlin SAYS and BELIEVES he understands magic should only be used for great deeds blah blah blah but when he gets overworked and short on time, yeah, that armor’s gonna be polishing itself while he works on 4 other things at once - he just gets better at not being caught. it’s a great deed to keep arthur’s armor in peak condition, right? arthur says he’s a terrible servant but actually being magically aided he winds up being like...really good at his job, once he gets into the swing of it. he’s just fucking insubordinate always 24/7

*** ****** no i will not be taking constructive criticism

ARTHUR:

he knew they lied to him in 2.08. he always knew. canon evidence supports this in 4.03 he says “i lost both my parents to magic” listen to me he ALWAYS KNEW!!!

canon also semi-supports a summertime birthday - i read somewhere once that they made it a point to only show camelot in spring thru early fall so they didn’t have to explain why there wasn’t snow on the ground. arthur’s coming of age ceremony (which i assumed either followed or preceeded his birthday) was in the middle of season 1, which would have been mid or late summer, hence: arthur is a summer baby.

i really like the gay!arthur headcanon but i also think he and gwen have incredible chemistry and i really like their relationship so like...maybe gay with one genuine exception. also that boy EMBODIES internalized homophobia :( poor lad

fond of DOGS and sometimes HORSES but refuses to show it because that’s not very manly of him. he’s too into hunting to truly be an Animal Person but since you don’t hunt dogs or horses generally he has a very very secret soft spot

the writers didnt do this on purpose but in my heart i believe the reason he was willing to risk SO much to save mordred in 1.08 was because of what he did to that druid camp from 4.10......like at first yeah he tries to be hard-hearted about it & just do his fuckin job but i think once his conscience was tripped he couldn’t stand to see a druid kid die again under his watch for no good reason. he’d’ve never agreed otherwise, not even for a kid. he wouldn’t have ratted morgana out but he wouldn’t have helped her either

(send me a character & i’ll give you 5 headcanons)

[mythologymonsterlover]

M! Werewolf reader x Human love interest

Okay, so if you haven’t read about Yuma or Titi story this might confuse you. Anyways, I gave the King a name, Mita, and thru this story Yuma’s half brother, Guardian, falls in love with one of his soldiers. The soldier themselves is hiding a secret, and what it is only Guardian can guess. Find out how this love grows~

Warning: sexual content, talks about women’s menstrual cycle

Male werewolf reader X Human love interest

I was deem to be a guard since I came to the kingdom of werewolves. After King Mita mistress ran away after giving birth to their son, Yuma, she went to a small town on the outskirts of werewolf territory. There she met my father, a businessman, and they gave birth to me. No one knew why she ran away from her former husband, and even newborn son for that matter. However, before she died from a sickness, she told me about her postpartum depression after she had Yuma. It was so bad, that she wasn’t thinking straight and had terrible thoughts of hurting her baby. From guilt and fear she ran away, while it broke her heart. She told me that I should meet my brother, that even though she left the king and her son in disgrace, I deserve to know him.

So after her death, I went to the kingdom and introduced myself to Mita and Yuma. I was only seven summers old at the time, while Yuma was ten summers. I notice my half-brother had grey and white fur, and stared back at me suspiciously with strong yellow-green eyes.

At first they did not believe me, but after showing both of them photos of mother, my father, and me together in pictures they could see it. The king took me to the side as he towered over my small frame. At that time, I was certain he was going to strike me, but instead, he wrapped his black furred arms around my back.

He told me that he was glad I came forward to them, and that he would allow me to live in the palace. After years from then to now, I became the head guard of the castle and recruit the strongest men around the country. I teach each man very thoroughly, and work them to the bone as I do to myself.

Today I was doing my regular protocols for my new troops. They came from a small forest village in outer werewolf country. As I study each one of them and ask questions, I notice the smallest one, a human, quite fast. They have their eyes cast down, running their fingers in their gear.

I cough into my hand to get their attention. “Soldier, are you ready or not?”

The other guards snicker as the kid looks up embarrassedly, obviously regretting ignoring me.

“I’m sorry head guard, it won’t happen again!” They say in a high but deep pitched voice, which sounds like they are going through puberty or something. I stare down at them though, noticing at least they seem to have a strong build for a human.

“Well guard, I might as well ask you some question.”

He nods enthusiastically. “Yes, head guard?”

“What is your age, weight, and training in this setting?”

My age is 21, weight is 145 Ib, and I worked to get here for about three years.”

As I write all this down, I also notice the guard’s facial stature. Strangely, it looks surprisingly clean and even smooth. Not only that, but their eyes seem also...very feminine? They are a dark blue that even the sky can’t comprehend.

Before I could even look at my soldier more closely, they turn away and look at a framed painting.

“Who are those two if you don’t mind me asking, head guard?”

I look up to see my brother Yuma and his wife Titi, who got married not too long ago. To say it didn’t surprise the whole damn castle when Yuma said he started dating the succubus who was trying to steal from us would be a lie.

I turn my attention back to my new guard, and mummer, “that’s prince Yuma and his wife Titi, an Ice succubus.”

His eyes practically widen like they heard me say the castle is on fire, and they start to speak excitedly. “That so amazing! I’m so happy to hear that the prince found a women of his own!”

I nod in agreement and hate to admit it, but I found it extremely cute when the human speaks like that.

“What is your name soldier?” I say in a commanding but nicer voice than usual.

“Oh, u-um my name is..ahh…Tommy!”

I rise my ears up from hearing such a hesitating reply, but they smile apologetically and scratch the back of their head.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to sound so nervous commander, just a little under the weather.”

“That fine soldier, just don’t let your nerves affect others, understood?”

The young man nods seriously and salute to me. “Yessir!”

I turn away and continue my ranking, and I keep thinking to myself that they have a really cute smile.

After a few days, I get my new guards into different groups and responsibilities to do all over the castle. I train more men to be guards and soldiers, I still come to see Tommy quite often in the halls. He seems to always be running back and forth in a contest state of needing to be everywhere at once. Soon, he moves ranks and becomes apart of my regiment which means twice the work. I order half of my group to the back of the castle for tonight, while I, Tommy, and another guard name Nokia watch the front of the castle. Soon, like always, Nokia pretends to go to the restroom when his really just taking a nap. I decided to not push Nokia to work late tonight and let the fool take it easy, since danger is extremely rare in this time of year.

This leaves me and Tommy guarding the gates alone. Nothing particularly interesting happens until I keep smelling something concerning. I don’t know why, but I smelt blood coming from Tommy. I asked him a couple of times if he was alright, but he just nodded his head.

“Are you sure Tommy, I smell blood from you…”

He looked nervous now, but smiled and shook his head.

“It’s not a big deal captain, I’m completely alright.”

We resume to watch that entire night in silence, and when our time is over we take new tasks.

However I do watch over Tommy, feeling worried for him. He seems more distant than usual, and keeps needing to go to the restroom. Finally I decided to confront my soldier and I pin him to the wall.

“What the hell are you doing in the restroom?”

I look down at him with a snarl, and he has a look of shame on his face.

“I’m sorry sir, I will stop going to the restrooms so much.”

I let out a irritated growl and rub my temples between my eyes.

“I don’t care how much you use the restroom Tommy, I’m more concerned to why I keep smelling blood from you!”

I sniff them again, and in fact it is coming from them. I keep them in place as I sniff all over their body, until I find the source of the scent. It located down between their..legs? I look at him strangely, and I back away further as they suddenly start to sob.

I don’t ask any questions as I grab his hand and we rush to the infirmary. Their I lay Tommy down on the medical table.

“Take off your pants please.”

Tommy look down at the floor, while still sobbing he reluctantly take his pants off.

As they slide their pants down, I see it. Their feminine legs and underwear, and as they take off their shirt, their small breast.

“Your a women.” I say in shock. She wraps her arms around her body and glares at me uncomfortably.

I get the message and turn my gaze away. I hand them a blanket to wrap themselves with. We are silent for sometime until I decide to open my mouth again.

“How long have you been hiding this?” I look at her, not him, in the face. Her short yet long bangs covering her eyes.

“I hid my gender when I was sixteen, and I went through all my guard training and work until-, well, now.”

“Why start at a young age? And why this of all things if it's just for men?”

She looks at me shyly and puts her bangs behind her ears. “Well, since I didn’t have a mom around to teach me how to sew, cook, or be a girl, my father was the one who influenced me the most. He got me into farming, hunting, and sword fighting...” her eyes cast down and become sad.

“But then, he got sick and needed someone to pay for his bills, so I decided to get the best paying job out there; being a guard for the palace of wolves.”

I nod in understanding seeing that she, not he, disguised themselves as a man to enter into the troops to get money for her father sickness. I grunt softly and start to leave the room.

“W-What, aren’t you going to fire me and execute me for being a women in your stroops?”

I gazed back at her and shrug. “I see no reason to kill you. You keep up with your counterparts quite well, and you made it clear that you deserve to be here as much as they do.”

Before I could shut the door behind me, I feel a pair of arms around my back.

“Thank you general Guardian, and my real name is actually Lilac...J-Just so you know!”

I nod and pat her arms around my waist, noticing how strong built but delegate they were. To say that I wasn’t impressed by her strength as a woman now, not just a soldier, would be a lie.

Some months past by as Lilac and I do talk more. I hate to admit it but I love her company. Of course I call her Tommy around her male counterparts, and address her as “soldier” or “Tommy.” I know it’s not good to lie to the troops or upper council about her. However, since I am the head captain and the half-brother of the prince, I do have the overall control to what happens to my guards positions.

As me and Lilac patrol around the gardens one sunny afternoon, we talk about the usual with one another.

“Your not as rough and mean as you think you are, General Guardian.”

She says with a smirk, and nudges my arm.

“Oh, that’s probably because you haven’t seen me in war, soldier.”

I grin back, and after a while we sit down for a moment on a stone bench. We talk about what she wants to do after paying for her fathers medical bills and such. She shrugs and looks at the ground.

“I’m not quite sure, but I know I can’t go back home looking like this.”

I am confused by her statement and nudge her.

“What do you mean, Lilac?”

“Well, I’m not very beautiful to be married off to a man, and since I barely know anything about being a good housewife, I can’t do really helpful service for a women to do back home.”

I’m surprised that she already thought about all this, and feel sadden she thinks of herself like that.

“Well, I’m positive you don’t need to worry about not getting married, you are a pretty women to me.”

For a moment there's an awkward silence and I start to regret what I said, but then she stand up and face me.

“Do you…” she trails off with her words.

I narrow my eyes. “What is it?”

“Nothing, forget it!” She then tries to fun off, but I grab her arm. She looks at me and I can she her cheeks are red as a tomato. I bring her closer to me.

“What is it that you want to say, Lilac?”

She puts her hand on my shoulder and leans into my chest.

“Do you...want to go on a date with me?” She mummer under her breath with her eyes shut tight.

I don’t respond since I myself start to burn up now, and I think that makes her uncomfortable because she starts to pull away. Yet I bring her into my chest again, and lick her cheek.

“I would like that, my cute warrior.”

After we are done with our shift, we plan on meeting on the weekend at a well known restaurant out of the castle domain. We decided that would be the best course of meeting up since we don’t want anyone to accidentally recognize her.

As I decide to come twenty minutes early, I order myself a beer. I’m well known here among the owners, even out of my uniform. I decided to wear a blue jacket with a white shirt underneath it. I sit there waiting patiently, looking at the clock every five minutes. I start to worry a little when I don’t see her after ten, but the doors open suddenly.

“Hey, I’m so sorry I’m a little late.” I turn my head to see her, and I’m astonished by the difference when she is out of her uniform, into a red dress instead. I notice her plumb thighs and crives that the dress shape out perfectly, and I glup from seeing it all.

“...It’s alright, would you like to sit?” I say shakily, realizing this actually is my first date I ever had.

She giggles and sit next to me. Her red lips and her short hair looking very lovely, and I can’t help but stare.

“Do I scare you, general?”

I realised I’m looking at her took long, so I look away while taking a sip of my beer. “

No, no of course not, but please Lilac, call me by my name.”

I smirk in a half attempt to hide how nervous I am. Yet, I can tell she isn’t buying it, so she puts her hand over mine.

“Hey, this doesn’t have to be a big thing, we can just talk and stuff, you know?”

I nod in agreement, and throughout the night we just tell each other about how we got to where we are today. Our childhood, parents, ordeals, and outcome of everything.

“That must've been shocking to hear you have a half-brother, and him being King Mita’s kid of all things!”

“It was hard to believe that my mother was with the king himself, but it was harder to convince myself that I had a brother.”

“I find that remarkable.” She says as she drinks more of her wine, and I can tell we are both getting quite tipsy. I decided to pay for our dinner and walk her home now.

As we reach her apartment complex, I open the door for her and say goodnight.

“I had fun Lilac.” I kiss her hand tenderly; she looks very flattered, and blushes again. Yet she on the other hand kisses my cheek and I swing my tail back and forth.

“Goodnight, Guardian.”

After that night, we have couple more dates with one another and slowly but surely I feel myself fall for her. We soon start to kiss one another everytime we meet. It started off innocently enough, but soon they begin to deepen, and I feel myself wanting her body more and more. After two months of going out with one another, I do the usual and head her back to her apartment complex. We kiss tenderly and heatedly for a little bit and she holds onto me tight. I can hear her heartbeat going wild like mine. I feel a heat growing in my loins and It starts to ache badly, so I break the kiss before I do something I might regret. She looks at me dreamily, but replaces it with a troubled look. “why did you stop?”

I grunt to clear my voice, “Forgive me,

I was getting too excited for a moment. I didn’t want to do anything that you wouldn’t like.” with my low husky voice I move away a little so we aren’t so close together, but she refuses to let me go.

I feel her strong arms keep me pressed against her body, and I start to pant as I feel myself grow harder.

“Please Guardian, I’m not a flower, I want you to want me.”

I feel her hands run down my chest, then slowly move down to my crotch. I growl loudly as she grabs my dick in her hand, and start to pump it. I soon can’t bare it any longer, and grab her by the waist and kiss her roughly. I slam the apartment door open and we travel through her kitchen to the bedroom kissing and running our hands over each other.

I regain some self control and gently put Lilac on the bed, towering over her with our mouth inches apart.

“Lilac, is this alright?”

She looks me deep in the eyes, and my green and her blue eyes intertwined together as one.

Yes, it’s amazing.” She smiles her beautiful smile to me, then soon places her lips to my neck. I sigh and feel myself unravel in her smooth touch. I move my hands over her shirt and take it off, exposing soon her bra so I can see her plumb skin. I kiss her down the chest and remove her bra, exposing hard nipples waiting for my touch. I lick them softly and she moans loudly, gripping my fur. She sneakily moves her other hand to my crotch, taking my dick out and pumping it as I gasp at the sudden feeling. She lets out a low laugh at my sudden reaction, and moves her body over mine. She then straddles me around my waist, and begins to remove her pants and panties with a wicked look in her eyes.

“L-Lilac..” I mummer as I rub her nipples with my thumbs.

After she exposed herself fully on top of me, she trials down and engulfs my entire dick in her mouth. She bobs her head up and down my shaft, and I’m ripping the sheets to stop myself from grabbing her head and shoving my dick all the way down her throat. She finally comes up for a breath of air, and that’s where I see my chance to strike. I flip her over, and before she could react I move my dick against her folds. She grabs me in shock as I slowly move it all the way in her wet pussy.

“Do you like that?” I ask, and with eyes closed, she nods enthusiastically while gripping onto my arms to stop herself from shaking.

“Please, ah, don’t stop…”she says with a pleading voice. I do as I am told, and thrust into her. I study her expression to make sure I’m not hurting her, and when I see she is fully loving this, I keep going. I thrust into her as hard as I can, and then slowly come out of her. I do this until I can feel myself needing to get rid of my growing needs, so I move as fast as I can. The bed shakes like it gonna break and hearing Lilac moan in pure pleasure it drives me to my breaking point. She tighten herself around my dick, and that does it as I cum into her core instantly. We sit their for a moment, panting, then when I get some of my strength I pull out. My oozing cum come out and I can tell she will probably be sore. I turn the her worn out body into my chest and lick and kiss her face.

“Are you alright, love?”

She grumbles a yes and kisses my lips.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine, in a couple of days that is.” I grunt and continue to pat her head and give her love kisses she deserves. She slowly open her eyes to looks at me.

“Guardian?” She says, rubbing her hand in my fur chest.

“Yes?”

“I want you as my lover.”

I smile warmly. “Good, because I want that as well.” I kiss her head as we both sit in our afterglow and fall asleep in each other’s arms.

[zepdeans]

this is highkey like a month late (i mean wbk im a chronic scatterbrain procrastinator) and she’s thicccc but without further ado. my skam s4 thoughts.

I first just want to say a couple things: im not a muslim woc so my thoughts on s4 don’t hold as much value as those of a muslim, woc, or a muslim woc. I also don’t know to what degree sana’s representation was true to real life. I made an effort to look for posts from muslim woc on sana’s season but to no real avail, especially given it’s been two years since skam ended and a lot of blogs have deactivated, changed urls, or posts have become buried :( [if you know of any good posts regarding sana’s season please lmk!]. from what I can recall in 2017, there were mixed opinions on s4 with most being upset (or at least disappointed) with the ultimate execution of sana’s storyline and I agree w that. while s4 means so much to me and has a really special place in my heart, I do 100% acknowledge its flaws. ok!!!!!! lets get into it😤

ep1 -as much as I wished isak stayed in kollektivet I’m glad he and even had a rlly sweet happy time this entire season. also evak making their friends move all their furniture while they whisper romantic shit to each other and makeout? peak comedy -you fuckin wish!!! -sana is the one to say “of course you should tell noora about william”.. she Knew and still takes the fall for it :( -this opening clip is such a jarring shift into sana’s pov!! e.g. while easy to overlook in previous seasons, sana’s exclusion from the girls is glaringly obvious once we’re looking through her eyes -adding onto that! sana is the friend who notices everyone else- she’s so observant, which hurts even more when you notice her friends don’t do the same (except mayhaps chris- in my heart of hearts I know chris is also the friend who notices and goes unnoticed, but unfortunately we don’t get enough of her and sana’s relationship this season to fully see that) -yousef and the balloon squad’s entrance.... ICONIC! also I cant believe for 2 seasons they presented those dickbag nissen 97s as the be all end all of hot amazing boys when the bakka third years were RIGHT THERE like,, the penetrators vs. balloon squad + even? no contest ma’am -also! it’s so interesting that we literally had no idea sana had a brother, or that yousef etc existed until now? it’s as if she has a whole private world at home, separate from her friends and nissen (and I think a theme of this season is those two worlds merging) -im obsessed w the yousana train scene but yousef being the only one who notices sana standing off to the side? ;-; -fy faen is such a stunning clip oh my god. when sana leaves to pray? possibly my favourite skam scene ever. it’s exquisite.  -sana is so cute and awkward squeezing thru the crowd shsdhgfhshdf I LOVE her love her -the last shot on yousef and noora... oh my GOD oh my god bc like. being that friend who never ever tells your real feelings or your crushes or is vulnerable with your friends?? and then having to listen to them talk about how good your crush would be with someone else (especially one of ur friends) while ur sitting there silently dying inside? and you don’t say anything since you can’t be vulnerable with your friends and u don’t think u stand a chance anyways so. (in the words of s3 noora. I think sana struck a nerve with the emotional unavailability! abbey r u ok) -this episode is a masterpiece and did such a phenomenal job of both introducing us to sana’s perspective while also touching on a multitude of her struggles AND establishing the themes of the season. plus the cinematography, editing, soundtrack and aesthetic...... o baby. (case in point I deadass just rewatched it after writing this)

ep2 -every shot of sana praying is beautiful (and beautifully edited!!) -sana’s room is usually messy... not smart enough to fully analyze this but I’m sure it means something  -an interesting contrast of what’s expected of her vs. of elias- I can’t speak for muslim families, but I know even in non-muslim families girls are always held to suchhh a higher standard (source: I have 2 brothers rip) -”if you find immaturity charming” hilarious bc sana actually does in fact find immaturity charming  -what’s interesting is how noora comes across in sana’s POV- kinda obnoxious, kinda ignorant, seemingly perfect (compared to how noora is portrayed in eva’s season, for example) -even is one of those ppl who uses the bill gates argument on why dropping out of school makes u richer sdfhfsjskfjfsd -sana staring down the pepsi max squad. fuck em up. -vilde adding magnus to the groupchat jfkjsjfdjfsfsdkj -isak missing eskild :’) sidenote I fucking live for isak and sana’s chats this season. they’re literally my lifeblood like.... 

ep3 -the kiss me scene god I go FERAL -“you need to pull it towards you, not push it away. okay?” yall mind if i SCREAM!! YOUSEF!!!!!!!!!! -there rlly is something about seeing sana, who in everyone else’s POV comes off as cold and harsh and stoic, just absolutely meltinggg when she talks w yousef like she doesn’t stop smiling she’s so sweet!!!! ah🥰 and yousef is 100% that guy who ppl tell “your gf is so intimidating and ruthless bro” and he’s like are y’all talking about sana??????? my baby?? my fuckin cinnamon apple????? -yousef’s lil smile watching sana peel carrots. 911 it’s me again -vilde and sana’s relationship has a really interesting dynamic bc like.. vilde says ignorant shit to sana while also genuinely looking up to her. and sana is probably the harshest to vilde within the group but it’s because she actually values their friendship a lot  -IM HURT BECAUSE YOU NEVER REPLIED TO MY MEME -sana pulling 2yr old receipts off the top of her head to defend vilde. god I stan -sana doin research taking notes..... shameful she isn’t canonically a virgo (honestly her and isak both but like-) -she’s so soft and smiley w her mamma awh... “of course he likes you, who doesn’t like you?” her mamma only knows the real, gentle, beautiful loving sana oh im CRY -even is so kind and loving and thoughtful yall mind if i....... -”you can’t escape the internet girl” foreshadowing mayhaps?

ep4 -david and ulrikke together are fucking hilarious -noora’s “you’re lucky you don’t have to think about this stuff, heartbreak and that” :/ it’s not just vilde who says ignorant things to sana! -that being said sana and noora are cute asf in the exper5 scene.. dorky noora rise (omg josefine and her yogurt in the bloopers too sjhfkjdf) -I HANDLE BALLS BETTER THAN YOU -the yousana scene is sooo gorgeous whew...... -I always cry a lil bit (ok a lot) when yousef brings up even. and sana knew too. even sweetie ily :( -sana talking about her religion is beautiful. it’s so lovely to learn about how she thinks and sees the world. -yousef’s smile watching sana leave like ur kidding right....... -“flawless since 99″ is so cringey. it’s so cringeyyy -sana uses “smh” I knew we were soulmates

ep5 -eavesdropping on ur parent/brother’s argument is peak sibling culture -when ur always paranoid but ur always right..... -sana’s green jumpsuit sign me up babey -I really really really love elias and sana’s conversation -u dont even realize how tiny sana is until she’s standing next to isak and even -not finding out why yousef avoided the fight and why he kissed noora will haunt me forever (could we not have expanded more on that instead of noorhelm.......) -the parallel of sana washing isak’s blood off her hands vs. her washing her hands during maghrib in episode 1. gotta sit down. -vilde gossiping to the pepsimax girls stings SO bad it’s just such a betrayal?:( -“the other girls seem cool, especially noora! she’s so pretty!” ok much to unpack here but: sana again comparing herself to noora (who she sees as /perfect/)... sana being written off despite putting so much effort and passion into the russ bus while noora, who has done literally nothing and at best is indifferent to russ, is the one they like the most. disgusteng -love will tear us apart.. bitch..... -sana abt to cry god I can’t -if sana is anything like me (I mean I think she is but jkjjkhsdfhfsd). looking stupid is the absolute worst so like, her sending out emails abt being bus boss when she was actually being lied to? being played? and her being “paranoid” about sara being shady, but deciding hey maybe im just being crazy? except she wasn’t she was right and she Knew!! and she’s probably thinking how dumb it was for her to get her hopes up, everything always ends badly anyways and no one actually likes her :((((((( -dont rlly know what my feelings are on the fight. im not against it bc isak does have a temper but his apparent motive always seemed weak to me?? and god I feel so bad for even

ep6 -forgot about sana getting bullied in middle school yall mind if I sob?? -sana lying and getting defensive bc it’s hard to be vulnerable, or because she hates looking stupid? or both?:( -isak looking up dandelions in his textbook just bc even put one behind his ear. I HATE this man -sana’s dad asking if she had a bad day aw :( -all the boys (and sana) wearing black but yousef wearing white.... what does it mean.............. -the carrots are back goddammit -radio station playing during this scene: “if I have to choose between the just non-muslim and the unjust muslim, without any doubt I would choose the non-muslim who is just” -ISAK’S NOSE SFFJDFJFSDKJSDF -sana’s text about chris I’m going to bawl my eyes out.           “yeah! looking forward (to going to nissen) but a bit worried. don’t know               anyone else starting there.”           (J: new friends?) “yes, at least one of them. I have german with her (chris)           and she’s very cool!” -the contrast of how blunt sana came off when we’re first introduced to her vs. how she was really just excited to make a new friend bc she was scared no one would like her :( especially knowing her past with bullying and how nervous she was to start at nissen? chris baby I LOVE YOU thank u ;-; -also sana keeping 2yr old conversations on her phone... same -sana is honestly too smart and scheming and overthinking for her own good. she has these elaborate plans that more-or-less always get ruined by her being more kind than she gives herself credit for (e.g. wanting to protect vilde in s1, clearing isak’s name in s4) -everyone in skam texts back so fast smh -chris calling sana “sonic”...... a moment please -I cannot watch the sana/evak apartment scene without thinking of the bloopers and losing it lmfaoooo.. “this is where we live. just come in” -ik it’s based off fanart but there is little I hate more than their matching outfits  -“remember you’re both geniuses!” 🥺even  -once again isak studying is uhhhh me - “you’re a good person” yall i love isak i really do. he puts his foot in his mouth pretty often and doesn’t have a great brain-to-mouth filter and he can be awkward and rambly and blunt and unsure of what to say in emotional situations but also? he’s so genuine. it’s just his honest thoughts and he says it bc he cares about sana and knows she needs to hear it!! -ᶠᵃᵉⁿ ᵉᵛᵉⁿ -sana’s inner turmoil.. thank u iman for inventing acting (ik I haven’t mentioned it much yet but god iman is SUCH a phenomenal actor I owe her my life) -LETS GO BITCHES

ep7 -sana crying silently in her room breaks my fucking heart (IMAN!!!!)  -idk how I feel about the instagram plot but sana watching as her plan falls into place and then storming up to sara... pretty bada$$ -“it’s creepy it was published but it’s more creepy we have a bus boss who talks shit about everyone” THANK YOU vilde -i love s4 isak thanks -sana and jamilla’s chat aw :~) -how awkward do yall think the walk to the bench was lmfao -what sana tells isak is SO powerful and I love it a lot -isak does actually make a good point- the other girls are like that too.  -unfortunately I have been in situations isak describes, where you want to learn more about your friend’s culture or religion because you care about them and you’re genuinely interested, but you don’t know what questions are okay to ask and you don’t want to sound rude or ignorant, so you ultimately end up asking no questions at all. but I hate that the responsibility is put on sana to constantly educate people bc I cannot imagine how exhausting that must be [[[ok so. I know there are VERY mixed opinions on the bench scene but here’s my dumbass two cents. 1- I genuinely think isak was trying to make sana feel better by attempting to relate to her and pass on advice that really helped him. however, I don’t think isak realized what sana eventually told him- that her experience wearing the hijab is a lot different than isak’s experience as a gay man. do I agree with everything isak said? nooo. do I understand why he said it? yeah. 2- it was not isak’s place to tell sana norwegians aren’t racist, or not to look for racism in questions. I think there’s some truth to ppl often just being ignorant, and he does add that there are probably a lot of racist people in Norway, but yeah. not great. 3- in conclusion I think while isak shared some meaningful advice w sana, he put his foot in his mouth too and said some stupid shit. im not trying to defend that. I will add, though: a. we actually do see some growth on isak’s part. when he and even are yelled at on the street, that’s the moment it clicks for him that oh shit, this is what sana was talking about. this is what she has to experience? and that’s why he texts noora, “in the speech for sana, you have to include how insanely strong she is. I don’t think many people understand how much bullshit she has to take” and b. isak’s (bad) advice of “not looking for the racism in things” is ultimately contrasted by yousef (a moc who lived most of his life as a muslim) suggesting instead to show people what islam really is. and that’s so much more meaningful. I think the root of a lot of the issues isak brought up- i.e. ignorance- is a general lack of education, representation, or effort by non-muslim people to seek out information themselves. so sana leading by example and showing what it means to her to be muslim is so much more powerful.]]] -𝒃𝒂𝒎!  -BEST BUDS 🥺

ep8 -haper du har plass weaving in and out of this episode until the chorus finally breaks when the los losers van shows up...... miss julie 😭 -oh my god the pictures. im a fucking MESS bc they’re not only significant to the scene and to sana but also like,, as part of our goodbye to the girls?? -the balloon squad and even :( while the timeline of them reconciling within just this week is kinda wack, seeing even back with his friends looking so happy makes my heart uwu so i’ll allow it just this once -eva’s message to vilde about her and magnus being able to trust each other w/o reading their texts... growth or irony -chris is such a phenomenal friend (and this is why I wanted more of her in s4!!) -sana’s phonecall to the girls breaks my fucking heart bc like. right off the bat she’s finally being vulnerable with them?? telling them about her fears and insecurities and struggles? typing this im gonna start crying lol but god I love her so much. she’s so brave and she put all that on the line bc all she really cares about are her friends, she loves them SO much even if (she thinks) they don’t love her back -lowkey sobbed so hard during the haper du har plass clip I almost threw up and it gave me a headache :)  -anyways this is one of my favourite skam clips and god just. the moment you hear the girls calling for sana??? I LOSE it. when sana just starts BEAMING omg🤧 the girls love sana and support her and if you fuck with sana you fuck with us!!!!!! god. cannot articulate how dear to my heart this scene is. -haper du har plass feels like the end of the episode and the party clip is kinda just tacked on but I love how happy everyone is!! they’re all drinking champagne (who taught isak how to hold things) and dancing and smilingggg 💛 -yousana rise!!!!!!!!  -ok don’t get me wrong I hate william for crashing the party but their entrance slow-mo kinda slaps.... also sana popping up in between noorhelm SENDS me

ep9 -this is the point in the season where the amount of time dedicated to noorhelm is beyond beyond beyond significantly damaging to the story. this is sana’s last episode!! instead of having them makeout in front of william’s car for 20 minutes mayhaps we could’ve had a conversation between the girls and sana, or with her brother (if they had continued the elias alcoholism plotline rip), or maybe even with jamilla or her mamma? like I don’t care at ALL about noora or william. give me anything else. ple a s e -what makes skam scenes so brilliant is their quiet moments!! julie let the scene breathe. not everything needs a tacky song playing over top. -I’ve said this abt like twenty clips now but MAGHRIB. oh my GOD. an absolute masterpiece and definitely tied for my all time favourite skam clip. can’t rlly put into words how stunning it is. & I love sana and yousef’s conversation so much. -“of course I brought food! my name is yousef!” mr. acar you’re the only man I trust

ep10 -as much as my heart yearns for 10 sana episodes I think splitting up the last episode of skam into individual POV clips for different characters was brilliant and such a poignant way to say goodbye :( -okay don’t think about what sana could’ve written in her texts to everyone or ur heart will go sicko mode -I won’t write anything abt this ep since I’ve already written too much but like.. (elias should’ve gotten a clip instead of william. pchris can stay because his clip was funny but he’s on thin fuckin ice) -kjaere sana was such a beautiful way to say goodbye to skam. so yeah. bye skam. i miss you. 

overall ➔I’m not really sure why (possibly a lethal combination of my undying love for sana bakkoush, how much I relate to her, this but my ass was crying EVERY single episode of season 4...... F ➔I’m obsessed with s4′s aesthetic. imo the best editing, soundtrack and cinematography of any season!!!! julie is so talented at making each season feel distinct- to me, sana’s season is cool, vibrant colours (aka the late-night sunset aesthetic- gabie i hear u laughing shut up), crisp electronic/pop music and rap, ethereal city nights..... also sana has the best style of any skam character it had to be said ➔sana’s growth! seeing her open up and be honest and vulnerable with the girls during that phone call. sana sending all of her friends literally the sweetest messages of how much they mean to her and how much she values their relationship. sana being the (MUCH) bigger person and making amends with sara, ingrid etc. I love her so much :’((( ➔I’ve thought a lot about what I would change in season 4 and honestly? im a mf scatterbrain and have no real, structured ideas. my biggest issue is too much noora. dream s4 would be william staying in london and noora being happy on her own (but not rly on her own bc she has the girls and kollektivet!). as :/ as I am about the noora/yousef plotline, I’m not really sure what I’d do to replace the yousana conflict in ep5. maybe involving elias, or the balloon squad and even? related to that- in lieu of all the noora/noorhelm screentime, I would so much rather have a follow-up plot to elias’s drinking problem bc it was kinda just dropped? at the very least, the william clip should’ve been elias’s. I also would've killed for more one-on-one scenes with chris (even vilde or eva!), jamilla, even, members of the balloon squad... there are so many interesting stories that could’ve been explored instead of going down the noorhelm rabbithole again. furthermore, I feel like the social media plot was a bit... weak? again I’ve tried thinking of what I would’ve done instead (while also keeping the haper du har plass clip, y’all can pry that one from my cold dead hands) to little avail. what especially threw me about this plotline is that sana did this in s2 to jamilla, fucked up, and it bit her in the ass. I know that she gets irrational when angry but from a storytelling perspective, it seems repetitive. just.. I feel like there could’ve been a more powerful plot in which sana follows the same character arc. another thing I would’ve loved to see is beyond the los losers van, an apology from the girls to sana. or even just a conversation where they tell her “hey sana, we’re sorry for not paying attention and we’re sorry for being thoughtless/ignorant.” an apology from vilde about things she’s said in the past would’ve been <3. even a gesture! the girls order pizza again but this time it’s halal, or they make an effort to learn about sana’s religion and culture. I know it’s implied through the letter they write for sana, but a final standalone scene would’ve been so nice.  ➔i’ve noticed soo many remakes do this thing where they like.. water down shitty behaviour of their characters. which like- sure. I would love for everyone to be kind and thoughtful and not as horrible as they could be but also... I think that’s the point of skam? to show that people fuck up, but that doesn’t define them as a person. no one is perfect and no one can be thoughtful and considerate and kind all the time. and often these ‘problematic’ actions are integral to the story- e.g. elias saying stupid comments to isak (related to isak’s internalized homophobia and fear of coming out to his friends), the girl squad being ignorant about what sana can eat, etc. so..... your remake is not better because it erased every horrible action every character has done. (nuance.. where r u.........) ➔despite its flaws, I will say- the good moments of season 4? ineffable. I think we sometimes forget that julie literally wrote, directed, and I believe (?) assisted w editing and soundtrack too. i cant imagine doing all that under so much pressure, trying to bring so many storylines to a conclusion whilst simultaneously creating a goodbye-season to a show she put her life into the past two years. I’m so fucking appreciative of her. and you know what? all in all julie wrote some pretty damn beautiful episodes and scenes, and you can tell she loves this show just as much as we do. ➔and honestly this is maybe one reason I’m more wary of watching remake s4′s, bc like.. this season meant SO much bc it was the last season of skam. we knew it was the last season. the final episode is more or less a love letter, a goodbye to the show. whereas w some remakes (do i have to say whomst) its  like.. that love isnt there. it’s just another season. yknow? in conclusion I miss skam so much :(

ok whew if ur reading this ur a champion but also why did you just read 5k of me rambling about how much I love sana bakkoush?? 

[smallcowplant]

Hi! Hi! I have a bit of a history challenge question/request for advice? :) I'm wondering if you have any ideas rn of how you're going to dress your sims for the colonial/western era (thats the era im on, for me theyre just one era together though)? Idk the difference between colonial/western clothes and industrial clothes? Any advice? Appreciated even if not! :)

Hey dude!

At this point, I'm honestly not too fussed about getting cc together for gen6 + gen7 bc I literally just realized that I accidentally deleted most (if not all) the cc I had downloaded for gen5.....I take file folders of cc out of my mods folder periodically to free up space in my game for other saves....rip. I'm currently just going thru the motions of not wanting to redownload everything.....while also losing all desire to open the game at all!! Lol!!

HOWEVER

I don't want to be a total loser and I'm gonna answer your question! Kinda!

*Disclaimer: Ya' girl is not about total....or even partial tbh....historical accuracy when it comes to my HC! I love history and historical fashion, but I mix-and-match cc from all over the web nine times out of ten!*

EDIT: THIS IS ALL TOO MUCH AND DOES NOT ANSWER UR QUESTION LOL I'M SORRY

When I think colonial, I think puritanical New England/Quakers, with their bonnets, heavy shift dresses, boots and a penchant for detestable behavior! Tricornes and waistcoats also seemed to be very popular among men.

It's a bit hard to find cc for any gen that is set in colonial America, bc these restrictive fashions were defined by LOTS of layers! Petticoats, aprons, and lots of chest coverage (bc god forbid anyone knew u had collarbones, u filthy harlot!!) Lots of historical cc, while gorgeous (I love you cc creators thank u for blessing me w/ur creations) favor rococo/southern belle-esque aesthetics (obviously, bc they're much more aesthetically pleasing than layers of gravy-colored fabric)

!! Which u can kind of get away with bc these styles actually WERE seen and worn in colonial America

Really, what it boiled down to was where you lived and how much money you had. (And mostly, who your dad was.) If you have, say, a wealthy family (of garbage people), their daughter might be bedecked in gorgeous frocks and day-dresses like those seen above. If you have a poorer family (of different, but ultimately probably still garbage people), you'd probably wear dull colored dresses and drooping bonnets (and hope that a bunch of your peers wouldn't rat u out to the nearest church as a witch to get some sweet sweet validation and attention in general)

@historicalsimslife, @javitrulovesims, @budgie2budgie have some beautiful pieces that I think you could definitely work into semi-colonial looks!

I would link directly to some of my faves of theirs, but I'm on mobile! (Also, if you just scroll through sssvitlans 'historical' tag, you'll find some good stuff too!)

When it comes to western cc, there's sadly not a TON of strictly cowboy-driven creators out there! There are some, don't get me wrong! If you go through sssvitlans 'western' tag, there's some real winners that I downloaded without a second thought!!

Before I get into some of my inspo for cc hunting, please know that a lot of our perception of cowboys/the wild west comes from Hollywood and spaghetti westerns! And even though young Clint Eastwood is an entire snack and a half

he is NOT what most cowpokes looked like (not gonna get into how many cowboys were decidedly not white or straight but for the record, most of them were neither white nor straight lol)

Here's some Looks that I'm all about and that I used as CC-hunting inspo

Think neckerchief's, leather, vests, and trousers. Oh, and suits. Clothes in the Wild West were not mass-produced---if you needed new duds you had to make your way to a tailor. That's why you might see historical photography/films show their cowboys in suit coats/vests/dress pants....it wasn't for the fashion! It was because they were buying everything second-hand! The fancier the clothes, the harder to sell (if your main source of consumers is a bunch of guys who work long hot days out in the desert)....thus, the resell prices were cheaper

As for women! If she's out in the West, she's going for comfort and the basics---I mean, as much as she can with the restrictive fashions and general cultural/gendered norms of the day

Think muted colors, long skirts, belts, buttoned or high-necked blouses! There can be some overlap here with early Victorian looks, but keep it simple!

As for the industrial age, I honestly just consider that gen of the HC to be ripe for overlapping all the beautiful Victorian/Edwardian CC that the likes of @historicalsimslife and @retro-pixels have blessed us with! Corseted gowns, high necklines and beautiful hats!

I mainly look for inspo in the films I watch and the books/articles I read! Pinterest is a great tool to inspire some creative thought when it comes to CC-hunting. You might find the perfect blouse/trousers in a completely modern CC post. It just takes a little bit of a journey!

If u want like....a Wild West inspired CC lookbook....I could do that! I've actually been considering it for a bit lol

[nobeliumoxygenoxygen]

Seromina || Firsts

For Sero Ship Week Day 3: Firsts at @seroshipweek​

SUMMARY: Ashido tends to overshare her personal life on social media so it’s only fitting that she shares her favourite moments on it too, right?

But this time, it’s only for one pair of eyes.

GENRE: sero hanta x ashido mina, social media au (I think?)

TEXT from your queen 💕

follow @iloveutapeboi on insta its private but dw youll be accepted start from the first post!!!!!!!!

POSTS

1

[Image: Candid of Sero taken from the side; slightly blurry, low angle as if the photographer was trying to be discreet as they took it. He’s wearing an orange hoodie with black stripes. He’s grinning at someone in front of him and he holds a bitten meat pie in one hand. In the background, there are barely visible bowling lanes.]

Caption: the first time i thought to myself “maybe seros actually cute and i actually like him in a like like way” if that make sense lol. maybe there were other times but this was the earliest memory i could think of. this was after that laser tag game we all played and you did your whole dramatic self sacrificing for me (lol quickest way to my heart - take a laser tag shot for me). 

2

[Image: Image of the city taken from inside a bus. Half the image is of the seats of the bus whilst the other half are buildings of the city. A few people are in the shot, but they’re faces are unrecognisable.]

Caption: first time I realised I was in loveeee (i love youu) how cheesy amirite. its a bus because i realised it when we were going back to ua together after a field trip and idk i just had this light bulb moment ok ugh this is too cheesy were done here ily but im cringing too hard at the cheesinesssss (two posts in and im already dying but im pushing thru!!!!)

3

[Image: 2 puppies being held by someone who is clearly Sero by the look of the arms and his orange black striped hoodie. One puppy in each arm; a white pit bull and a brown one.]

Caption: our not-so-official first date?? idk if you’d call it that but like......we were alone together so idk??? u know i was going to actually confess today but the dogs were so cute they distracted me!! so i forgot lol!!! (theyre only sliiiiiightly cuter than u dw dw!!! 🤣)

4

[Image: Sero’s silhouette inside a movie theater. He’s facing the camera but it’s too dark to see much other than the shadows of his face and the glint of his white teeth in his grin. In the far left of the photo, the Lego Movie is playing.]

Caption: our official first date (tho i guess it was kinda rushed??? considering i literally told u i liked u like an hour earlier lmao but i wouldnt have it any other way ❤️)

5

[Image: Ashido’s room, taken from the doorway. The bed is unmade; the curtains are drawn back to let the sunlight in; the desk is a mess of school books and loose sheets. Ashido’s arms are outstretched in front of the camera; she’s forming a heart with her hands.]

Caption: place we had our first kiss!!! (tho we failed like five times and kept laughing!! the movies are wayyyy too serious - they make it seem like ur not allowed to laugh!! our kisses are so much better😘)

6

[Image: Pathway leading up into a park where cherry blossom trees frame the edges. There are a few passerbys and one dog, legs a blur, running through the image.]

Caption: place i asked you to be my boyfriend because SOMEONE STILL had this WEIRD idea that?? i??? didnt?? like?? them? EVEN AFTER?? LIKE FIVE DATES?? AND FIVE KISSES???

7

[Image: UA Heights Alliance common room. Looking through the windows, it’s night and there’s no one in there but there’s food wrappers strewn across the coffee table and the floor.]

Caption: place you said your first i love you (ok i suppose i shouldnt be salty about the boyfriend asking thing because first ilys are such a milestone!!!! ps. im still sorry i panicked when u said it lmao i love how we laugh about it but i know from sources coughbakuyellingthat1tapeboiwasstressingashell that you almost cried ilyyyyyyyy ❤️❤️❤️)

8

[Image: Close up focus of Sero’s lit up face. He’s giving a close-eyed smile to someone slightly to the left of the camera. Just making it in the frame is a slice of bright blond hair. The background is blurred but it is clearly of a busy beach; the sky is blue and there’s not a cloud in sight. There are two figures, one shirtless with red hair and one wearing a wetsuit cut off at the lower thigh with what might be black or dark purple hair in the water in the far background.]

Caption: when i said my first i love you (i love you toos and i love yous on phones dont count!!! and also u are sooooooo cute in this photo!!! not that ur not always cute ofc 😋)

9

[Image: Text screenshot. (Sent) Ashido: IM SO MAD AT U SERO HANTA ANSWER MEEE (Receiving) Sero: NEVER U TRAITOR (Sent) Ashido: UR THE TRAITOR!!!!]

Caption: first fight :( one of the saddest chapters of my life i hope we never do that again ❤️

10

[Image: Rice with natto on top, chopsticks on the side. The dish is on top of pink, patterned napkins.]

Caption: first (of many!!!!!!!!) anniversaries (see??? taking pics of food is VERY important!! and u dared to make fun of my ‘attempts at being aesthetics’!!)

11

[Image 1: Necklace in shape of a crown with engraving of words “Alien Queen”.  Image 2: Necklace is flipped over with engraving of words “Ashido Mina”.]

Caption: first (of many!!!!!!!!!!) anniversary presents (I LOVE IT SO MUCH WHY R U SO NICEEEEEEE ITS SO CUTE IM WEARING IT EVERYDAY ILY)

12

[Image: From the side, Sero smiling softly, looking up at a beautiful orange sky to match his brighter orange hoodie. His eyes are wide but he’s happy. Behind are a few trees.]

Caption: I love youuuuuuuuuuuu sero hantaaaaaaaaaa and dont you forget it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *spam of heart emojis* (also u r seriously wearing the same hoodie in like five of these pics w h y)

TEXT to your queen 💕

im actualy cryin can i call u

TEXT from your queen 💕

oof  [Image: google search bar “how to comfort crying boyfriend”.] ofc u can!!

CALL TRANSCRIPT:

Sero: How long have you been planning this? I love you so muchhhhhhhh. I’m crying, can you hear my tears? How did you do it? Did you go to every place or were you planning this from the beginning?

Ashido: *laughter* You can’t hear tears dummy. And you’re not meant to cry! Its meant to be a happy thing! *more laughter*

Sero: ...Glad to know your happy about my pain. ...Its amazing I have literally no words Ashido. I love it-I love you and I love us. Thank you so much.

Ashido: Awww don’t make me blush. It was nothing!

Sero: What do you mean NOTHING? Don’t insult yourself Ashido Mina this is...I don’t know-EVERYTHING!

Ashido: Okay that’s true. I’m awesome.

Sero: I’m going to treasure this forever. You’ll never delete this account right?

Ashido: *giggling* Course not!

Sero: It’s too amazing. Seriously, and I gave you the most cliche relationship present ever.

Ashido: Eesh don’t worry! I love my present! Besides it was the final piece for the account!

Sero: If you say so. You know, I don’t think a meme war counts as a fight...in a relationship...

Ashido: Of course it does! I was soooo angry at you. How could you side with Kirishima?! It was so frustrsting! You wouldn’t BELIEVE!

Sero: ...Trust me I believe. *muffled* Especially after you taped me to the ceiling.

Ashido: What was that?

Sero: Nothing! Also how’d you take the pic of your room with your arms in front of you? Is it...*whispers loudly* sorcery?

Ashido: *giggling* You got it. I have a second quirk that I-...I kept secret. Yup. But I’m telling you because you’re my boyfriend and all.

Sero: And I will totally believe you, because you’re my girlfriend, and all. Hey, I know you need your beauty sleep but can I come over--

Ashido: Yes!

Sero: --tomorrow--wait, what?

Ashido: Oh. Well-

Sero: *muffled snort* Someone’s desperate.

Ashido: *huff* Shhh! You can come over anytime!

Sero: Would you really not mind if I came over now? At like...*shuffling* eleven?

Ashido: Is that even a question? If you come over now, I can add it to the journal!

Sero: The journal?

Ashido: The account Sero!

Sero: Okay...Why? It’s not the first time I’ve been to your house. Firsts was the theme right?

Ashido: Yep! And I can make it ‘First night spent together’ wink wink.

Sero: …*muffled laugh* Whatever floats your boat.

Ashido: But you’re getting a cab here right? You better not walk out this late at night!

Sero: I mean, we’re both training to be heroes if we can’t walk out at night then what could we do--

Ashido: Sero you butt!

Sero: --but yes I’m getting a cab.

Ashido: Good! You better stay on the phone the whole time too!

Sero: Of course. I love you Ashido Mina.

Ashido: And I love you Sero Hanta! ...Wait are you still wearing that orange hoodie?

Sero: ...*distant mumbles* Why do you hate my beloved hoodie so much?

Ashido: *equally distant mumbles* If you wear it one more time the photos will think you have one hoodie.

Sero: What would you say if I said yes?

Ashido: I’d say we’ve got our next date planned and you can guess what it is.

Sero: ...I mean, I wouldn’t say no to any time with you anyway?

Ashido: Pfft, stop being cute. Just-alright, whatever. Tomorrow? At whatever time we wake up I guess?

Sero: It’s a date.

A/N: completely forgot that they live in the same building so pretend it’s holidays or something 🤷 buuuut i hope you enjoyed this was harder than expected so im rlly sorry if they seem ooc 😳!! Thanks for reading!!