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thebibliomancer · 2 years ago

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Essential Avengers: West Coast Avengers #31: The Friday Night FRIGHTS!

April, 1988

ARKON’S BACK!

And this time -- it’s no movie!!

PLUS: To Kill A Mockingbird!

Hey, you’re not supposed to kill a mockingbird. That’s the point of the To Kill A Mockingbird title. Dammit, Phantom Rider, you dumb ghost!

Also, Arkon! Wow, it’s been a while!

You may or may not remember him as that Conan-ish guy who tried to cause nuclear war on Earth because it would re-energize the energy rings that make life possible on his home planet Polemachus.

He also kidnapped Scarlet Witch and tried to make her be his bride because she was The Girl of the team?

He’s had some other run-ins with Earth’s heroes as well. But he caused enough of a stir the times he visited Earth that there’s a successful series of movies about him which are very Conan-ish. Wonder Man Simon Williams played the villain in the most recent one.

Other context: when the West Coast Avengers were lost in past times, Mockingbird got separated when the rest of the team went further back in time. She got kidnapped and drugged by a delusional cowboy into loving him and they don’t say its sexual assault explicitly but its all but said. When Mockingbird was freed of the drugs, she hunted down Phantom/Ghost Rider and had a confrontation with him that ended in him falling off a cliff. And she didn’t save him.

She has hid the truth from the Avengers and more specifically husband Hawkeye about how bad her ordeal was and that she manslaughtered Phantom Rider in retribution. But she’s been feeling guilty about it and keeps trying to tell Hawkeye but not going through with it.

So, there’s your context.

Which you’ll need because Phantom Rider is back.

Or something.

We saw a modern version of him when the West Coast Avengers fought very Southwest America themed supergroup the Rangers.

At that time, Phantom Rider hadn’t mentioned any past history with Mockingbird but now he’s certainly angry about stuff.

Or dramatic. He’s either angry or dramatic or both.

He very dramatically rides through a rainy night to a secret cave where fellow Ranger Texas Twister is sitting before a fire and looking in bad shape. Also, talking in a very phonetic accent.

Texas Twister was very affected by the reveal that his pardner Shooting Star was either a demon all along or replaced with a demon. He wants revenge. On demons, I guess.

For some reason, I guess ghost reasons, Phantom Rider needs Texas Twister to summon a demon. He’s not interested in Twister’s revenge but he’ll use the demon against the West Coast Avengers so he can get his own revenge on Mockingbird for rejecting him and also dropping him off a cliff.

Check out this very biased take on events.

If only we could drop you off a cliff again, dude.

Anyway. When Texas Twister does his ritual to summon demons, it instead summons

ARKON!

That guy from the recap I told! And from the cover! And from the movies!

Phantom Rider is a bit confused but game, assuming that Arkon is a demon warrior chieftain with a link to Amerindian tradition somehow.

Arkon: “What prattle is this?”

Guess Phantom Rider doesn’t watch a lot of movies.

So Arkon introduces himself, loudly and boisterously, as Arkon the Magnificent, Imperion of Polemachus and that he’s here to beat the shit out of Wonder Man.

The magic ritual didn’t bring Arkon here. He was coming on his own and the ritual just sidetracked him to this exact location. He’s going to go beat the shit out of Wonder Man now.

Which works for Phantom Rider so.... yeah. He just lets him walk off. Not what he was expecting but same result!

Meanwhile, at the West Coast Avengers Compound, Moon Knight sits on the cliff over the sea and talks to Khonshu, since Khonshu is so chatty these days.

He asks Khonshu if he knows anything about Phantom Rider, which Khonshu doesn’t. But Moon Knight’s dynamic detective brain has been ticking along for some issues now and he’s figured that Phantom Rider has something to do with why Mockingbird has been acting so weird.

Khonshu couldn’t give less of a shit about this but he is pretty hype that Moon Knight will be officially an Avenger soon. Khonshu likes the Avengers, they’re an interesting bunch. He especially is interested in Hawkeye.

Aw, Hawkeye has a fan.

Anyway, Tigra interrupts Moon Knight’s internal dialogue and the two have some casual make-outs.

Tigra: “You were really in the ozone, weren’t you?”

Moon Knight: “You’d be surprised, Tigra! I was, in fact, communing with my god -- and now, I’ll commune with you -- !”

Tigra: “Yeah! Commune away!”

Iron Man: “Why don’t you two go somewhere private?”

Iron Man wasn’t established in this scene before. He manifested entirely to be grumpy about some PDA and tell them to get a room.

Amazing.

Moon Knight tells Iron Man to shove it. Surely as an employee of famous playboy Tony Stark, he’s used to people making out around him.

Except its not really the making out that’s got Iron Man’s dander up. Alas. Alas for my jokes.

Iron Man is in a Mood and he wants to be alone so this romantic cliff is a brooding cliff now.

Moon Knight really pulls the ‘I don’t see your name on it’ bit by asking if Iron Man owns this overlook to which Iron Man really responds ‘yeah, kinda!’ by saying Tony Stark helped pay for it.

Anyway, before this escalates past childish barbs, Hawkeye interrupts by shooting an arrow between them because he’s Hawkeye and that’s his favorite form of social interaction.

Hawkeye pulls Iron Man aside and tells him ‘hey, c’mon, don’t paste the new guy’ and ‘what’s wrong good buddy?’

Iron Man won’t answer, despite Hawkeye calling on their long friendship. Whatever is bothering him, the only remedy is alone time to think it all out. He says Hawkeye will be the first to hear when he’s ready to talk and then flies off.

Hm. I wonder what’s happening in the Iron Man solo that’s got him in such a state.

Mockingbird shows up - because this is a very popular brooding cliff - and asks if Hawkeye talked to Iron Man.

Hawkeye confirms he tried but Iron Man wouldn’t open up. SPEAKING OF WHICH, he feels like Mockingbird had something to tell him but never got around to?

Mockingbird pretends to have forgotten whatever she wanted to talk to him about. Hawkeye complains that he feels like his team has started working around him.

But before he can pursue this conversation further, Dr Pym SCIENCE ADVENTURER runs up to report an emergency call from the “Eakos” aka the East Coast Avengers.

Its charming that the West Coast Avengers have run with the Wackos nickname that the Thing gave them and extended it to the East Coast Avengers. While the East Coast Avengers don’t seem to have the same nickname. It’s fun that the two teams are developing their own quirks and culture.

More of that.

Anyway. The East Coast Avengers tell Hawkeye that Iron Man, in Iron Man #228, attacked the Captain at the Vault.

What’s this about? Armor Wars is what this is about.

Tony got Big Mad about all his technology being stolen so broke into the Vault to beat up fifty of the Guardsmen there. Also, he fought the Captain America.

At some point, when I have more time freed up, I want to read through the Iron Man book just for me. Because apparently in Iron Man #228 Rhodey impersonates Electro for some reason. Wild.

Hawkeye says that he just saw Iron Man but that he flew off after asking Hawkeye to trust him. Captain Marvel says they all trust Tony, great guy, but they need an explanation.

Hawkeye: “Holy -- ! I can’t believe it! Tony got me out of a life of crime -- got me into the Avengers -- an’ Steve was my first boss here! What the heck is goin’ on?”

And Mockingbird makes a relieved face behind Hawkeye’s back because this is going to distract him from asking any follow up questions about her thing.

... You do know that this is a temporary reprieve? I can’t believe I’m saying this but listen to Nick Fury and come clean!

Hawkeye decides that the plot of this issue is going to be finding Iron Man and making him explain!

-looks at the cover, laughs in irony-

No, we’re not doing that today.

Today is Arkon day.

With a KA-BOOM! of thunder, the real plot arrives.

The West Coast Avengers all run out and find Arkon flying about the grounds.

Wonder Man: “Arkon! It’s the real Arkon!”

Arkon: “Aye, Wonder Man -- and the Imperion of Polemachus is come to destroy you for that effrontery evinced in that photoplay!”

Wonder Man: “Uh -- I was just an actor there -- and I played the villain! Villain you are, for your fellow Avengers must have told you that I’m no character of fiction -- yet it is against the Polemachan code to create an image of the Imperion!”

And the only way to address this offense? He’s gonna murder the shit out of Wonder Man. Despite the fact that Wonder Man wasn’t playing Arkon, didn’t write the script, or greenlight the movie or ever even meet Arkon. On the other hand, at least Arkon is punching people who won’t explode into chunky salsa with one punch, man.

The West Coast Avengers move into help after Arkon punches Wonder Man but he warns them off.

He expected that people might try to interfere. So he brought a nuclear bomb with him. And clipped it to his belt. And he’ll use it if anyone interferes because this is about Honor and such.

Wonder Man agrees to fight Arkon man to man because he figures this will be a good workout (and then realizes, well I’d better win!)

He just has one question before they start fighting. Is that portable nuclear bomb going to go off while they roughhouse? No? Good.

Hah. Now they’re even.

Arkon praises Wonder Man, saying that he’s never been hit so hard - not even by Thor.

Wonder Man is like 'HAH, KNEW IT’

Wonder Man: “Thanks -- for the testimonial -- ! When I fought him -- I knew I was stronger!”

Simon has his priorities.

Since the West Coast Avengers can’t help without blowing up, they decide to just peanut gallery.

Tigra says she wouldn’t want to be in the middle of the fight and Moon Knight says she still would be if she had to be. Hawkeye asks if the Moon is on Wonder Man’s side but Khonshu hasn’t weighed in on it. And Dr Pym decides to rehash Mockingbird’s ‘is it okay for Avengers to kill’ discussion and mentions that may be what it takes to stop Arkon. Mockingbird dismisses the discussion as “only an idea.”

You guys are terrible at peanut gallerying. I want some hoots. I want some cries of support for your buddy. I want some sniping at Arkon’s expense.

Someone call Shorsey. He’ll teach them how to jeer.

After Arkon TANK!s Wonder Man in the face with his shield, Wonder Man grabs it away from him and crumples it into a wad.

The peanut gallery finally starts cheering “Watch his right!” “Tear ‘im up, Simon!” and Moon Knight offers constructive criticism? with “For all his strenght, he could stand to learn some tactics -- !”

Mockingbird happens to spot Phantom Rider chilling out by the cliff. She’s startled and runs off to go confront him before anyone else notices him.

In her internal monologue, she recaps all the kidnapping and drugging stuff that I’ve already recapped.

What’s interesting is that her memory of letting Phantom Rider drop off the cliff has a different one-liner. Phantom Rider remembers her saying “Drop dead!” Mockingbird’s own version is the less succinct “I’ll give you the same consideration you gave me...!”

I wonder if this is a sign of Mockingbird and Phantom Rider’s drastically different memories of how things played out... or whether Englehart just forgot what happened earlier in the script.

Who can say.

And after all that internal monologue recapping, Mockingbird concedes (still in internal monologue) that this isn’t even the same Phantom Rider! Because that one is dead! Legacy characters!

Except Phantom Rider greets her with “And so we meet again, Barbara -- on yet another cliff!”

Mockingbird says they’ve only met when the West Coast Avengers fought the Rangers but Phantom Rider explains that while the body he inhabits is contemporary but the driver is the angry ghost of the man she killed.

Phantom Rider: “I told you my legend -- how He Who Lights The Stars sent the Comanches the ghost dust and the ghost horse -- first for my brother, and then for me! I am the Son of the Spirits -- the Phantom Rider! I do not die as other men!”

Mockingbird: “You were crazy then and you’re crazy now!”

Thus conceding his point about being the same dude. Dammit, Bobbi. That’s not the way to win a debate.

Phantom Rider decides to prove that he’s a ghost.

He does the same walk out into thin air thing he did back in the cowboy times.

Mockingbird assume he’s projecting his image from behind her -- like he did in cowboy times. She thrusts her battle staff backwards only to hit nothing. And then the floating cowboy ghost starts grappling her.

Since he’s solid enough to grab her staff, he’s solid enough for to roll and throw but then he fades into darkness as he also did back in cowboy times.

Back at fight times, Arkon isn’t pleased about his crunched shield.

Arkon: “I possess three forms of bolt, actor! The golden bolts open portals to other worlds -- ! The scarlet bolts -- LEVEL MY FOES!”

And he throws a scarlet bolt into the crunched shield - exploding it and knocking Wonder Man on his ass.

I’m just wondering what the third type of bolt is.

He said three. He only listed two. Arkon. What is the third type of bolt. Arkon. Tell me.

(According to the marvel wiki, he also has black bolts which are twice as powerful as the scarlet bolts, exploding with the force of 20 tons of TNT versus the scarlet bolts exploding with a force of 10 tons of TNT. I can clearly see he’s not carrying any though.)

Wonder Man scolds Arkon for damaging the landscaping.

Wonder Man: “You became a media sensation when you first revealed yourself in this dimension -- ! The media eats their young here -- they’ve cranked out four features on you so far --.”

Arkon: “FOUR?!!”

You’re making it worse for yourself, Simon.

Hey. How DID Arkon hear about the Arkon movie and not hear that there were of them? How much information travels between Earth and Polemachus anyway?

Wonder Man PLOW!s past Arkon, knocking some scarlet bolts loose.

Two dropped bolts make a BARABA BOOM, shocking Wonder Man at the impact.

In Wonder Man’s memory of events, he had Thor beat until Thor used lightning against him. So this explosive lightning bolt-shaped weapon is giving him pause. But he decides getting beat is something for past Simon not now Simon and flies right at Arkon again.

(Who grabs some of his dimensional travel bolts? Arkon, buddy, I think you grabbed the wrong ones)

At the Mockingbird/Phantom Rider fight by the cliff by the sea, Mockingbird swipes Phantom Rider’s cape away with her battle staff. Then, she separates her staff into staves but Phantom Rider just shoots them out of her hands.

Wow, good aim.

Also, a conversation.

Mockingbird: “Your wonders don’t impress me, Spook-Man! Even if they’re real, they don’t impress me!”

(Shania Twain intensifies)

Mockingbird: “I told you last time, I’m an Avenger!”

Phantom Rider: “Yes, you told me that, Barbara -- but in this era, in this body, I understand it better! I know about Avengers -- and Avengers don’t kill, do they?”

Mockingbird: “I didn’t kill you! I let you die! There’s a difference!”

Phantom Rider: “Shall we explain that to your beloved husband?”

Back at the Wonder Man/Arkon fight.

Wonder Man has gotten right in Arkon’s face so he can punch him in the face while Arkon explodes scarlet bolts point blank in Wonder Man’s face.

An exchange that a battered, bruised, and very disheveled Wonder Man eventually wins over a much less beat up looking Arkon.

Wonder Man: “I’m telling you, Imperion, you’re a sensation here -- but you’ve always disappeared as quickly as you came!”

Arkon: “I hate this world!”

Wonder Man: “Great -- but how were we supposed to know we were offending you, making those movies? You had to come and tell us -- which you have -- !”

Hawkeye: “That’s right, Arkon! You’ve delivered your message -- now let Wondy talk to the studios for you!”

Arkon: “Talk -- ? Talk is for women!”

Stay classy, Arkon.

Arkon does admit that he understands this world about as much as Wonder Man understands Polemachus.

Arkon: “Perhaps here, men do talk as well as battle -- as absurd as that sounds -- !”

So since Wonder Man beat the shit out of him - thus impressing him - Arkon will do things Wonder Man’s way. Wonder Man can go talk to the studios on Arkon’s behalf and warn them that Arkon will “countenance no further desecration.”

Then because there’s too much talking around here and Arkon is feeling insecure in his masculinity probably, he instantly ollies outie the plot and goes back to Polemachus.

Fun guy, Arkon.

Back at Mockingbird’s ordeal, she insists that Phantom Rider will tell Hawkeye nothing.

So Phantom Rider goes off on a self-serving rant. While also kicking and slapping the shit out of Mockingbird and leaving her dangling from the cliff.

Phantom Rider: “You prefer fighting to talking? You talked last time -- you said I was a man who’d hurt a woman as only a man can! You hurt me then, as only a woman can! You took my vulnerability and sneered at it!”

Ech. I’m not loving this plot.

I didn’t love the initial cowboy times drugging and mind control. I was curious to see where it would go after because I’d heard that it was going to go places. But now the rapist cowboy is back to get revenge because he is somehow the wronged party in this.

I mean, she did manslaughter him a little. But he’s a real dick..

So Phantom Rider has knocked her onto the edge and he scoffs “You thought you’d have your revenge for your poor hurt feelings, and exact the ultimate retribution -- but look where it has gotten you!”

I know how this is going to end up for Mockingbird and Hawkeye. I don’t know how its going to end up for Phantom Rider. He’s a real dick. And its going to really suck if he walks away from his harassment campaign victorious.

He threatens to step on Mockingbird’s fingers to send her falling to her death but tells her he’s going to prolong this until he’s decided she’s suffered enough.

He’s a real dick.

He rides off on his flying horse.

As soon as she’s gone, Mockingbird falls from the cliff but manages to grab the staircase.

She pulls herself up to the top just as the Rest of the Coast Avengers come looking for her because she “missed all the excitement -- !”

Womp womp!

Also, Phantom Rider is the Moon, for some reason. Moon Knight should look into that.

Sssso. Love the A-plot. Arkon Big Mad that people made movies about him and taking it out on Wonder Man? Glorious.

The Phantom Rider stuff? I don’t trust Steve Englehart to handle this sensitive topic sensitively. Because so far it seems like the moral center of the plot is whether its okay to ever manslaughter a person and the drugging and mind control was just to incite the incident. I feel like the manslaughter is going to be the primary thing once the truth comes out.

Oy. Between the character assassination over in East Coast Avengers and the Phantom Rider stuff being the main plot in West Coast Avengers, I wish one of these books wasn’t such a letdown. But at least Wasp is going to be showing up.

Wasp is so good.

Follow @essential-avengers for some reason. I’m tired, you think of one. Like and reblog maybe? Let me know your thoughts.