#Terrence C. Carson

[ljones41]

Looking Back at "STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS" (2008-2020)

LOOKING BACK AT "STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS" (2008-2020)

Lucasfilm's 2008-2020 animated series, "STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS" had become a big favorite among fans of the STAR WARS franchise over the past decade-and-a-half. Set during the tail end of the Prequel Trilogy, many fans regard it as superior to the three movies produced and directed by George Lucas between 1999 and 2005. Not only that, many regarded it as a necessity for STAR WARS to understand that particular trilogy. After viewing it, I can honestly say that I do not agree with these fans.

Fans had expressed two other opinions about "THE CLONE WARS", aside from it being superior to the Prequel Trilogy movies and being needed to understand it. They still believe it did a better job of conveying Anakin Skywalker's journey from loyal Jedi Knight to the young Sith apprentice who had betrayed his former Order. Many fans had also complained that the animated series did something that the Prequel Trilogy had failed to do - namely convey a full narrative of the Clone Wars.

Disagreement Over Prevailing View

When I had stated that I did not agree with the prevailing view of "THE CLONE WARS", I meant it. Do not get me wrong. Overall, I liked it. I especially enjoyed those story arcs that centered around the clone troopers, especially the story about ARC Trooper Fives in Season Six. But there were other story arcs that I found interesting - including the one regarding Jedi padawans Ahsoka Tano and Barriss Offee, and Count Dooku's conflict with his former apprentice, Asajj Ventress. The latter proved to be one of two characters introduced by "THE CLONE WARS" that I enjoyed watching. I also became a big fan of the cunning, yet hilarious space pirate known as Hondo Ohnaka. But I never became a major fan of "THE CLONE WARS".

Unlike many fans and critics, I never regarded the series as better than the Prequel Trilogy. Just about every STAR WARS production I have seen (movies or television) had its share of flaws. Personally, I believe "THE CLONE WARS" had suffered from more flaws than the Prequel or Original Trilogies. The two trilogies served as parts of a saga about the Force-sensitive Skywalker family, with the Clone Wars, the decline of the Jedi Order and the Galactic Republic, along with the Galactic Civil War serving as the saga's backgrounds. For me, "THE CLONE WARS" was like watching a series that could not make up its mind about its main narrative or theme. The only aspect about "THE CLONE WARS" that seemed to be consistent was its setting - the three-year civil war withing the Galactic Republic known as the Clone Wars. Otherwise, the series spiraled into different arcs and stories with very little connection - whether they were about the war itself; the decline of both the Jedi Order and the Galactic Republic; the downfall of Anakin Skywalker; the development of his Jedi apprentice, Ahsoka Tano; the Mandalorian Civil War, which involved Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi; the re-emergence of Maul, former Sith apprentice of Darth Sidious; and other arcs that centered around characters like Count Dooku aka Darth Tyrannus, Asajj Ventress, the Mandalorian clone Boba Fett and especially the clone troopers.

A Necessity?

Since many fans and critics had claimed that viewing "THE CLONE WARS" was a necessity in understanding the Prequel Trilogy. Really? Why? I do not understand that opinion. The reason I do not understand it is because I never had any trouble understanding the Prequel Trilogy. As I had stated earlier, I realized that it was mainly about the downfall of Anakin Skywalker, in which the Clone Wars and the downfalls of both the Jedi Order and the Galactic Republic played major roles. I get the feeling that many had wanted the Prequel Trilogy to be more about the Clone Wars, instead of the Skywalker family saga.

If that is how they feel, why not complain about the Original Trilogy's limited portrayal of the Galactic Civil War? It seemed to me that the Original Trilogy seemed more about Luke Skywalker, his circle of companions, and his father Anakin Skywalker aka Darth Vader more than the actual civil war that served as the trilogy's background. Perhaps Lucasfilm should create a series that feature numerous stories and character arcs set during the Galactic Civil War? Especially the four-year period between 1977's "STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE" and 1983's "STAR WARS: RETURN OF THE JEDI"? Sure, there have been productions about the early years of the rebellion - before the events of "A NEW HOPE". But these productions have only appeared in the last ten years. And they were released or aired as individual productions, not the sprawling monolith that became "THE CLONE WARS". But I did not need these productions to understand the Original Trilogy anymore than I needed "THE CLONE WARS" to understand the Prequel Trilogy.

Portrayal of Anakin Skywalker

If "THE CLONE WARS" was supposed to be a production that helped fans understand the Prequel Trilogy, who was the series' main character? Seriously. Was it Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker? If so, I was not impressed by the series' portrayal of the character. Many have claimed that Anakin's portrayal in "THE CLONE WARS" was an improvement over his portrayal in the Prequel Trilogy. I do not agree with this assessment. In fact, I found Anakin's portrayal in the animated series rather troubling. One, he seemed to be a cross between a juvenile delinquent and a borderline Sith Lord. There were moments when the series seemed to be rushing him toward his role as Darth Sidious' Sith apprentice . . . before the events of 2005's "STAR WARS: REVENGE OF THE SITH".

The 2005 movie's first half hour had revealed Anakin's continuing guilt over his massacre of the Tusken Raiders who had killed his mother Shmi Skywalker in 2002's "STAR WARS: ATTACK OF THE CLONES". Not only did Anakin experience three years of guilt over that act, but also expressed regret for killing Darth Sidious' previous apprentice, Count Dooku aka Darth Tyrannus, when the latter was defenseless in "REVENGE OF THE SITH". Anakin even managed to express both horror and disgust for helping Sidious kill Jedi Master Mace Windu in the movie's last half hour. Following the Jedi Master's death, Anakin had ceased to feel any genuine remorse over those he had killed. However, "THE CLONE WARS" was set during the three years between "ATTACK OF THE CLONES" and "REVENGE OF THE SITH". And yet, I cannot recall the series ever conveying any of the guilt Anakin had felt toward his destruction of the Tusken village. Between that (over which he had felt guilt) and his roles in Dooku and Windu's death (which he had express regret and horror respectively), Anakin had harmed a good deal of individuals in "THE CLONE WARS" without any regret or remorse. This seems very odd to me to this day.

For me, the Anakin Skywalker of "THE CLONE WARS" seemed to be some Force sensitive version of Han Solo. In fact, someone had once given Anakin the nickname, "Jedi Han Solo". Many fans had complimented the character for his lack of whining and being more powerful. If these same fans were referring to Anakin's bouts of whining in "ATTACK OF THE CLONES", then what the hell were they expecting from a nineteen year-old padawan? Complete self-assurance? Some James Dean version of Anakin Skywalker? Well, instead of James Dean, they got some variation on Han Solo. And Anakin's attitude toward Padme seemed completely different from his relationship with her in the Prequel movies. Aside from that ugly moment in "REVENGE OF THE SITH" when Anakin had been blinded by unsubstantiated jealousy, he had never been aggressive toward Padme in the movies. The Anakin of the movies would have never tried to control Padme or dominate her the way he did in "THE CLONE WARS"'s Season One finale, (1.22) "Hostage Crisis" in which he tried to convince (in reality, coerce) her to stop work in order to provide him with "tender loving care" during his furlough. The cinematic Anakin would have shown more respect toward his wife. And as for that whole "Mortis" from Season Three . . . oh God! Why did Lucasfilm believe it was necessary to shove some ham-fisted narrative about Anakin bringing balance to the Force? I realize I should go into more detail about this particular arc. Needless to say, I did not care for it. It was like watching a series of over-the-top metaphors and allegories flashing before my eyes. And as I had earlier stated, I found it necessary. One has only have to observe Anakin's personality and his arc to notice the complicated nature of his character.

Ahsoka Tano

Then . . . Lucasfilm gave Anakin a padawan learner - a Togruta female named Ahsoka Tano, who was five years younger than him. Why did the Jedi Council assign a padawan for Anakin to train so soon after becoming a Knight? Yes, the Council had allowed the newly knighted Obi-Wan Kenobi to serve as Anakin's new Jedi mentor near the end of "STAR WARS: THE PHANTOM MENACE". But Anakin's recruitment into the Jedi Order and his role as Obi-Wan's new apprentice had occurred under unusual circumstances, due to a promise the latter had made to his dying former Jedi master, Qui-Gon Jinn. Obi-Wan had chosen to take on a new apprentice at the ripe age of 25. He had not been ordered to accept a padawan learner, like Anakin. Who had been 19 to 20 years old at the time . . . and recently knighted like his former mentor. Why did the Jedi Council, whose opinion of Anakin had always seemed to be in a state of wariness, had assigned a padawan to him? Why did Lucasfilm? If they had wanted Ahsoka to be one of the series' major character so badly, why not make her Obi-Wan's next padawan?

Now that I think about it, why bother creating the Ahsoka Tano character in the first place? In "THE CLONE WARS", Ahsoka had been close to Anakin, Obi-Wan and Padmé. Yet, the trio and NO ONE ELSE had mentioned her in "REVENGE OF THE SITH". I realize that the 2005 movie had been created first. But if no one had mentioned Ahsoka, someone who had been so close to Anakin, what was the fucking point in creating her for "THE CLONE WARS"/? Or . . . what was the point in making her Anakin's padawan? And it is a damn miracle that her character never became a Mary Sue. At least not completely. Ahsoka had made her share of mistakes throughout the series. But considering that she seemed to be the only Force user capable of using two lightsabers at the same time, I sometimes found myself wondering otherwise.

By the time "THE CLONE WARS" ended, I found myself wondering who was supposed to be the series' main character. Did the series actually have a main character? No one was more surprised than myself to discover that the series' last eight episodes focused on Ahoska Tano. After all, her character had left the Jedi Order in the Season Five finale, (5.20) "The Wrong Jedi". She never appeared in Season Six. I had assumed that Season Five was the last viewers would see of Ahsoka. Oh no. She came back with a vengeance and practically dominated Season Seven. The latter had twelve episodes. Out of those twelve episodes, four of them featured Ahosoka's adventures with a pair of smugglers known as the Martez sisters and the last four centered on her experiences with Darth Maul and Order 66. Eight out of twelve fucking episodes. At this time in the story, Ahsoka was no longer a Jedi - padawan or otherwise. Why did Lucasfilm and Dave Filoni thought it was necessary to bring her back and allow her to dominate the series' final season? Why was it necessary for us to see Ahsoka survive Order 66 at a time when she had not been a Jedi since the end of Season Five? After all, she was alive and well in "STAR WARS: REBELS", the series set right before the Original Trilogy. And once Order 66 began, the clone troopers not only targeted Ahsoka, but also . . . a captured Maul. WHY? In the name of God, why would the clone troopers target two people who were not a part of the Jedi Order?

Other Characters

*Darth Maul - What made the series' final season so problematic for me was not only did it focus heavily on Ahsoka Tano, but also Maul, Darth Sidious' former Sith apprentice. After being defeated and cut down by Obi-Wan Kenobi in "THE PHANTOM MENACE", the Nightsister Mother Talzin resurrected him and he became obsessed with the man who struck him down. How can I put this? I believe Darth Maul should have remained dead. I realize George Lucas had plans for his resurrection in the Sequel Trilogy films, but I do not care. I was never able to generate any real interest in his arc, following his resurrection in "THE CLONE WARS". And I found his arc in both "THE CLONE WARS" and "REBELS" and death in the latter series, an exercise in futility.

*Padmé Amidala - Thanks to Ahsoka Tano's presence in "THE CLONE WARS", Padmé ended up being regulated to one of the series' supporting characters. Granted, the series featured the occasional episode about her missions for the Galactic Senate or some political situation, her relationship with Anakin barely received any attention, aside from the Clovis arc . . . or perhaps one or two other. I am not sure. Nevertheless, I believe the heavy focus on Anakin's relationship with Ahsoka came at the expense of his continuing relationship with Padmé. I have one other issue with Padmé. I did not find her as interesting as I did in the Prequel movies. It seemed as if a good deal of her complexity had been stripped away.

*Obi-Wan Kenobi - It seemed to me that the young Jedi Master did not suffer from underexposure on the same level as Padmé Amidala. As one of the military leaders of the clone troopers, it only seemed natural that his character was focused upon. For me, Obi-Wan's most interesting arc proved to be the Mandalorian rebellion and his relationship with the pacifist leader, Duchess Satine Kryze. It seemed like the only time Obi-Wan came close to being the complex man he had been in the films. Otherwise, the Jedi Master spent most of "THE CLONE WARS" being portrayed as this ideal character. If Obi-Wan had truly been the ideal character many have claimed he was, I would have found him boring. Uninteresting. And Obi-Wan has never been boring to me in the films produced by George Lucas.

*The Jedi Order Council - My memories of the Council seemed to be a bit sketchy, aside from two arcs. I do recall arc that Jedi Master Mace Windu played a major role in an arc about him and Jar-Jar Binks rescuing a queen from a cult headed by the Nightsisters' former leader, Mother Talzin. Somewhat. And there was the late Season Six arc that featured Jedi Master Yoda exploring the origin of the Force and through a series of visions, discovering the true nature of the Clone Wars, the possibility of the Jedi Order's downfall and later, its resurrection. This particular arc seemed like nothing more than a ham-fisted attempt at foreshadow. Also, Yoda's conclusions following this arc seemed to contradict his actions during the last act of "REVENGE OF THE SITH" - namely his attempt to kill Darth Sidious.

*The Sith Order - I suppose I have no real complaints about the portrayal of the Sith Order in this series. Count Dooku's character seemed more fully explored in "THE CLONE WARS" than it did in the second and third Prequel movies. Darth Sidious remained a shadowy figure at this point in the series. I found his constant evil smiles (when no one was looking) rather annoying after two or three episodes. Hell, I can only recall this happening once in "REVENGE OF THE SITH". If there was one story arc regarding Sidious that I truly dislike was the Season Two episode, (2.19) "The Zillo Beast Strikes Back". The Sith's decision to entrap a dangerous Zillo beast and study it escaped to the streets of Coruscant struck me as one of dumbest ever made by a Sith Lord. Especially once as intelligent as Sidious.

*Cad Bane - I might as well say it. I dislike the Cad Bane character. No . . . I despise him. I despise his faux Southern accent. I despise that ridiculous hat that he wears. But what I really despise about Cad Bane was how George Lucas, Dave Filoni and Henry Gilroy made him such a tough adversary for the Jedi characters. Despite being a ruthless, yet greedy bounty hunter with a fast draw, Bane has been able to defeat powerful Jedi characters like Anakin and Obi-Wan . . . despite lacking any Force abilities. This guy was practically a villainous Gary Stu. And I never thought I would actually see one in a television series, let alone a movie.

I could go on about many other characters in "THE CLONE WARS", but my main issues with "THE CLONE WARS" seemed to be mainly focused on the series' narrative. Many of the stories and arcs rarely connected, if not at all. And I am at a loss on how this was supposed to help filmgoers understand the Prequel Trilogy. Perhaps many STAR WARS were unable to understand the Trilogy's main narrative. But I did. I was also aware that both the Original and Prequel Trilogies were part of the Skywalker family saga. Events and conflicts like the decline of the Galactic Republic, the Clone Wars, the fall of the Jedi Order, the ascension of the Sith Order, the rise of the Galactic Empire, the rise of the Rebel Alliance and the Galactic Civil War all served as backdrops for the family saga. While many fans had criticized the Prequel Trilogy for not focusing more on the Clone Wars, these same fans praised the actual series for doing just that.

The Prequel Trilogy was basically three chapters in the Skywalker family saga. Not two or three chapters in the detailed account of the Clone Wars. All one has to do is watch the Original Trilogy movies and see how the Galactic Civil War had merely served as a backdrop for another set of chapters in the Skywalker family saga. Yet, I do not recall anyone demanding a television series or a collection of movies depicting that particular conflict in greater detail - to the point of excluding the main characters of the family saga.

Once I had complained about the sprawling nature of "THE CLONE WARS"'s narrative online. Someone had pointed out that the series' rarely connected arcs and stories was an indication that it was an anthology series. Strangely enough, I have yet to encounter a website that includes that description for the series. A part of me suspects that Lucas, Filoni and Gilroy had created "THE CLONE WARS" to satisfy those fans who had expected Lucasfilm to convey the conflict in full detail in the Prequel Trilogy. I find this laughable, because the Galactic Civil War had never been portrayed in full detail in the Original Trilogy.

[tinyshinyheartss]

[beemochi-art]

you got any voice claims for ur the au!

I’m imagining scavenger with piccolos voice 😭

Honestly I can see it! Here are some more!

I know Bee’s Voice claim: Steven Yeun

I think Wheeljack claim is Jack Black

Megatron would sound like Kratos so Terrence C. Carson. When he gets older he will sound like Christopher Judge. So kratos all the way.

Starscream would sound like Astarion from baldur's gate.

Slipstream would sound like Eva from Sahara (the snake movie on Netflix.)

Soundwave sounds like Olrox (castlevania)

This is all I can think of for now.

[user1286]

B BRUH I HAD NO IDEA THOSE PHONE NUMBERS FROM THE OLD GOW GAMES WERE STILL ACTIVE KWJDKEJEKND

I thought they were shut down a long time ago but apparently u can still call those numbers and hear Terrence C Carson Kratos

Ngl I never thought of young kratos as a chatty guy, like Ik thats a phone call but like… would he rlly act like that in person??? LOLL

Also also also WHY CANT THEY BRING THESE SILLY THINGS BACK INTO THE NEW GOW GAMES UGGHHH I WANT COSTUMES FOR KRATOS AND ATREUS IT WOULD BE SO GREAT LMAO OR EVEN SOME KIND OF PRANK CALL VOICEMAIL FROM ATREUS ANYTHING PLSSS CORY BARLOG WHAT ARE U DOINGGKSJDKSJD

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe Snake Eyes chapter 8: The Cosmos Quiver (originally published on October 16, 2023)

AN: And so, everything begins falling into place. Steven has some leftover drama to resolve with the Diamonds, Black Rutile's redemption arc is on the horizon, and there's a giant snake monster about to wreak havoc and destroy the cosmos. And I still need to finish my notes on the remaining few chapters on my phone! How can Steven save the universe now when there's a monster of pure, unadulterated destruction on the horizon? Is there a chance he could receive some unexpected help from someone who is also in need of help herself? Stay tuned, folks, for everything begins coming to a head here.

Synopsis: Tensions are high on Serpentes when Nosiop announces his plans for conquest, while Black Rutile ponders if he really needs her.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl

Aurelio Voltaire as King Cobralan Jormagundr

Shirley Millner as Queen Constrictra Jormagundr

Cissy Jones as Princess Naja Jormagundr

Henry Rollins as Captain Boa

Jennifer Paz as Lapis, Laz, Zuli

Shelby Rabara as Peridot, Squaridot

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Kimberly Brooks as Jasper

Lauren Ash as White Topaz

Tom Scharpling as Greg

Grace Rolek as Connie

Ron Perlman as Inner Steven

Neil Flynn as Aescul

Alexia Khadime as Sardonyx

Billie Eilish as Turquoise

Sarah Stiles as Spinel

Nicole Sullivan as Sylvia Spectre

Kari Wahlgren as Envyrno, Pyrope

Wally Wingert as Rigby Starglow

Dominic Armato as Captain Gearfeet

JP Karliak as S-L1M3

Rob Paulsen as Monty the Moarchean

Steven Blum as Earthos, Deputy Edward

Beau Billingslea as Sheriff Spiegel

Britt Baron as Michelle Angelon

Julissa Aguirre as Lady Imagineer

Terrence C. Carson as The Decimator

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye

Avi Roque as Cinnabar

Gina Torres as Andesine

Jinkx Monsoon as Emerald

Melissa Fahn as Demantoid

Halsey as Tanzanite

Hayley Kiyoko as Morganite

Jason Marsden as Prince Nosiop Jormagundr

Keith David as Pyth

Crispin Freeman as Mr. Manco

Sam Witwer as Torius Vosania

Featuring Ray Porter as Squamata

And Tim Curry as Velhallen Beo

--

Serpentes was in chaos. Just moments before halftime of the Contest of Champions ended and the competition could resume, Prince Nosiop abruptly stole his father's throne and claimed that he would now become ruler of Serpentes in place of Cobralan, for he believed that Cobralan was incapable of ruling. In addition, he proclaimed that there was an ancient evil Cobralan was hiding from the public for years, and Nosiop intended to fight it with an army of Gems to prove that the Slytherophidians were meant to conquer.

As the Slytherophidians were sent into a frenzy, Nosiop sat confidently on his new throne while Black Rutile stood by his side. "Ah, this is what it means to take command." Nosiop grinned with his fangs out. "Watching all these worthless insects scurry about while begging for someone to give them orders. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Yes, I agree very much, my friend." Black Rutile declared snidely when she felt someone tug on her cape, that someone being Aquamarine. "Oh, Aquamarine, fancy seeing you here. It feels like we haven't talked in a long while. What's up?"

"We have a question about that army of Gems that Nosiop mentioned." Eyeball said. "How are you going to acquire one, if I may ask? What, will we just make more Gems to serve us?"

"Ah yes, then I suppose it's time for a little history lesson." Black Rutile smirked as she played a holographic video of the Lapidarist's history lesson she spied on. "This is what is known as the Lapidarist. As the name should imply, this being is the mother of all Gems through her creation of what would eventually become the Great Diamond Authority. She possesses the power to create life, and I'm certain she also can reset all Gems to their base programming."

"Wait, what do you mean by base programming?" Holly Blue wondered alarmedly.

"This is going somewhere that I surely won't like." Cat's Eye added morosely.

"Oh, you're going to like what I have planned for her." Black Rutile declared. "Once I plead my case to the Lapidarist and she recognizes me as a poor unfortunate soul in pain and in need of help, she will answer my cries by wiping out all Gems across the universe and forcing them to return to the states from which they first originated, thus making them perfectly willing to follow my every command!"

"So, you're going to brainwash us all?!" Emerald shouted as she combed through the Rutile Rebels to confront Black Rutile. "You're simply plotting to erase everything about us, our personalities, our experiences, our lives, just to fulfill your selfish agenda?! I have done horrible things under both the Diamonds' and your command, but this is going too far!"

"Oh, come now, Emerald, you would probably do the same to make yourself more capable of getting rid of Lars." Black Rutile assured her advisor. "Really, you all should've expected that I'd do something this cruel and unusual towards others."

"Yes, like poofing us, for example?" Cinnabar, now fully reformed after being poofed earlier, declared as she and Cinnabar revealed themselves to Black Rutile. "All because we fancied ourselves better leaders than you?"

"Backstabbing two of your closest confidants was bad enough," Andesine added hotly. "but threatening to erase us all, who have pledged our lives to serve you and your goal of a brighter tomorrow for all Gems?"

"Now, everyone, I know this may seem a little rash, but I promise you all that this is for the greater good!" Black Rutile nervously said, lying through her teeth as she felt her subordinates would soon turn on her like everyone else did. "Please, you all have to listen to me!"

"We are done listening to you." Tanzanite declared fiercely. "White Topaz was right about you; you're a bad leader and a bad friend to all of us. You'd sooner throw one of us to the wolves to see if it was safe before running away at the first sight of danger than actually admit how flawed you are."

"I am not flawed!" Black Rutile shrieked angrily, tears forming in her eyes yet again. "Just please, somebody take my side for once!"

"I believe we all knew this was coming." Demantoid proclaimed harshly before turning to the other Rebels. "Come along, Rebels. Let us find somewhere else where we won't be abused."

"No, wait, please, come back!" Black Rutile yelled as she fruitlessly reached out to her now-former pawns. "You can't just leave me like this! You know the Crystal Gems wouldn't dare take you in!"

"We are well aware of that," Morganite replied coldly. "But at least they'd treat us better than you have."

"Honestly, why did I bother continuing to side with her?" Pyrope scoffed as the Rutile Rebels left their master in the dust for greener pastures, causing Black Rutile to tear up again.

"So, after all we've been through, this is how I'm treated?" Black Rutile groaned as she started crying and groveling on her knees. "What's even the point anymore?"

"To give people hope, dear Rutile," Nosiop said as he hugged his partner in crime. "So we can rip it away from them."

"Indeed, my girl." Pyth agreed with the insidious prince-turned-king. "Now come along. We'd like you to meet the rest of what we call the Serpent Society." As the two Slytherophidians led Black Rutile away from the Ouraborium, Nosiop gave Pyth a firm nod, to which Pyth replied with an evil smile.

--

Elsewhere in the stadium, Steven roamed the halls as he brooded to himself over what he had just learned from the Lapidarist and the Diamonds. Not only was White Diamond more like Pink Diamond than he realized, but the Diamonds were also hiding the fact that they did indeed commit genocide on a few planets that they had conquered. He needed time to process everything he learned, to the point where he barely realized that Nosiop had just announced his conquest of Serpentes.

"You see what sparing the Diamonds will lead you to?" Inner Steven coldly stated as Steven imagined the manifestation of his darker impulses walking alongside him. "You should've let me shatter White when I had the chance back on Homeworld. Then we wouldn't have had to suffer all of this!"

"You and I both know I would never take a life!" Steven shouted angrily at Inner Steven.

"Then what about Jasper?" Inner Steven retorted snidely.

"Okay, you raise a good point," Steven agreed. "but I'd never intentionally take a life."

"Even after my change of heart, I always found it annoying how you'd rather sit back like a coward because you think everyone deserves a second chance." Inner Steven stated. "Much like you, I never fully trusted the Diamonds and thought they would go back on their word to destroy us again at any moment. If that day ever comes, you must be ready for the worst possible scenario."

"Yes, it's true that I feel so utterly betrayed, but I don't think the Diamonds would ever go that far." Steven replied. "I just want to live my life where everyone isn't lying to me and keeping secrets that could destroy us all!"

"You know, on that note, heard the news lately?" Inner Steven added as he tapped his foot, and a voice rang out in Steven's mind-space.

"As of today, I shall now take my father's place as your ruler, for he is not fit to be a king or a Universal Lord. Let this be a wake-up call to you Slytherophidians, the Universal Lords, the Gem race, and the ignorant masses across the entire universe!" the voice of Prince Nosiop declared as a holographic image of him appeared before Steven. "I shall soon arrive with an entire army of loyal Gems at my side to face down an ancient foe my father has hidden from you for so long! We all must answer to the hand of fate, and fate has chosen me to conquer this world!"

"Who is that?" Steven asked his darker half in wonder at the prince before him.

"Prince Nosiop Jormagundr, son of Cobralan and self-proclaimed next in line to become king of Serpentes." Inner Steven revealed. "I'm sure you heard of him before. He and Black Rutile teamed up to conquer the planet and reboot the entire Gem race to turn into their slaves. Don't think you met him in person, though."

"So what, is he meant to be like the Slytherophidian equivalent to Black Rutile or something?" Steven asked.

"Close." Inner Steven answered. "I think he may share some qualities with you. But he's the answer to a very important question."

"What was the question?" Steven asked, not expecting a good answer.

"What if you were more like Pink Diamond growing up?" Inner Steven answered forebodingly. "Think of it. This boy clearly wanted to get everything he ever wanted even though he had everything handed to him on a silver platter, so he resorted to drastic measures when nobody paid attention to him. Remind you of anyone?"

"So what do I need to do?" Steven asked his inner self.

"It's quite simple, really." Inner Steven said with his figurative hands on Steven's shoulders. "You must stop history from repeating itself, or it will mean the universe's destruction and possibly beyond."

--

"What is the meaning of this?!" Cobralan roared as he slithered into the throne room upon hearing the news. "Nosiop, you better have a very good explanation of what you are doing because you are in big trouble, young man!"

"I see you've heard, my old friend." Pyth declared as he ominously snuck up behind Cobralan and grabbed him by the neck with a jagged knife in his scaly hands. "It seems your son will be getting his coronation early. But unfortunately, you won't live long enough to see him all grown up."

"Pyth, what is going on?" Cobralan asked his insidious advisor. "What is Nosiop doing? What are you doing? Answer me, blast you!"

"It's just a little something I've been working on for the past couple of years," Pyth revealed to his former king. "I notice that Nosiop wants to be seen for his great ideas, introduce him to Squamata, and then covertly guide him along as I use him to gain ultimate power." He slowly pressed the knife to Cobralan's throat. "Now then, tell me where Squamata's resting place is, and I promise you'll only come out of this with a few scars."

"I'll never tell you!" Cobralan yelled fiercely and tried spitting poison in Pyth's face, but the vizier barely reacted to the attack. "It's a secret that our family has kept for generations, and I refuse to give it up to the likes of you!"

"So that's the way it is, then." Pyth cruelly hissed as he prepared to stab the king in his throat with the knife. "Long live the king." However, his murder of the Slytherophidian king would have to wait as a loud crash was heard from above, followed by a hearty "OOOOO-HOHOHOHOHO!" that made him jump. "What was that?!"

"Good day, your majesty!" Sardonyx laughed as she smashed a hole in the throne room's ceiling to view Pyth's attempted assassination. "Am I interrupting anything?!"

"What is that thing?!" Pyth screamed in terror as Sardonyx reached into the throne room and grabbed Cobralan in her giant hand.

"Oh, pardon me for being so rude." Sardonyx giggled. "You may call me Sardonyx. I'm here with my lovely assistant, Turquoise, to rescue the fair king of Serpentes and put a stop to your dastardly schemes! Turquoise, please take care of Mr. Pyth, s'il vous plaît"

"Already on it," Turquoise replied as she conjured up some liquid metal that solidified into metallic restraints to keep Pyth imprisoned while the two fusions escaped. "Catch you on the flipside, Dorkus."

"Get back here, you two! Unhand me at once!" Pyth yelled furiously as he tried to escape his imprisonment. "Ugh, this is what happens when you've been spying on Gems for who knows how long. Eventually, they'll overpower you in every way imaginable. Now, can someone get me out of this thing?"

--

On the other side of the Ouraborium, the competitors of the Contest of Champions were trying their best to stay calm amid the chaos. Still, each had their own views about Nosiop's planned takeover of Serpentes.

"Yes, Chief, I'm already calling for backup." Sylvia Spectre said to her boss over her communication device. "Prince Nosiop will be brought to justice by sundown. What do you mean what will the king think?! Nosiop just stole his throne and said Cobralan was unfit to rule!"

"Hey Sylvie, can you talk a little faster so we can get out of here?" Envyrno complained impatiently while leaning back against the wall. "I wanna get the Abe Due Dumballa out of here and cause a little mischief already!"

"No, we cannot!" Sylvia declared sternly. "As an officer of the Coalition of Galaxies, it is my sworn duty to root out evil wherever it may lurk and bring them to justice, no matter the species. And that includes thugs like you, Envyrno."

"Oh geez, another busybody rule-follower." Envyrno groaned in dismay. "You should embrace your inner bad girl already. Let's go kill some horrible bosses together, get a purge going! Live a little! In fact, I know of this great place to hang out at a few star systems away. It's a new club that plays really great hardcore techno for a really hip young crowd."

"The answer is still no." Sylvia turned down Envyrno's offer. "Though that club does sound intriguing."

"Now you're speaking my language!" Envyrno gave a hearty chortle while putting a lava-covered arm around Sylvia's shoulder.

Meanwhile, Rigby Starglow stood up on a makeshift stage in the middle of the arena while tuning his guitar. "Good evening, folks, or whatever time it is on this planet. My name's Rigby Starglow. I'm the biggest rock star in the universe and today, I'm going to play you all a song to calm everybody down." He then began to strum on his guitar. "Breath, should I take a deep? Faith, should I take a leap?" Rigby started singing. "Taste, what a bittersweet. All my, all my life. Let me face, let me face, let me face my fears!"

Within the city of Alethinophidia, Captain Gearfeet was having the time of his life as he tipped over market stalls and broke into shops to engage in some looting. "Hee hee hee, this is the most fun I've had in ages!" he laughed happily while diving into a store window to steal its contents. "Come on, everybody, it's the end of the world. Let's get looting!"

"Stop right there, Gearfeet." Sheriff Spiegel declared as he pressed a laser pistol to the captain's nose. "We're gonna need you to hand over everything you stole so we can return them to their rightful owners."

"I dare you to try, copper." Gearfeet said as he protectively held onto his loot. "I'm not even sure who the original owners are anymore!"

"Everyone please, cease this conflict!" Michelle Angelon exclaimed as she flew down from above to get between the sheriff and the pirate. "I understand that you are on different sides of the law, but there are far more pressing matters at hand, my friends."

"Yeah, yeah, the giant space snake is a-coming, or whatever." Deputy Edward replied. "Man, haven't had a day this crazy since we fought those spice cultists back home, eh Sheriff?"

"You said it, Edward. I can still hear them now." Spiegel smirked. "He who controls the spice controls the universe!"

"Can we please get on with it?!" Gearfeet yelled. "I just wanna find a ship and go back to my crew already."

"You and us both, Captain." S-L1M3 said as he slithered to the four with Earthos, Lady Imagineer, Monty, and the Decimator behind him. "I just want to go home already. I didn't even get a chance to fight anybody!"

"I, for one, am still not satisfied with the hand I was dealt on this planet." The Decimator replied in his trademark deep, booming voice. "I demand the greatest fight these creatures could offer, yet time and again, I've been greeted with nothing but disappointment! Whatever this ancient foe Nosiop speaks of may be, it has got to give me a satisfactory challenge!"

"Whatever you say, big guy!" Monty said meekly before pulling out a photo of his wife and children back on his home planet. "Hold on, my family, I'll be home soon."

"That your fam there, Monty?" Earthos asked about the photo. "Not a bad lot, I'll say. Maybe I can visit sometime, be like the cool uncle to your kids."

"That would be so nice, Earthos." Monty replied sweetly before all the fighters gathered in Alethinophidia looked up at the sky to find that the clouds had changed. "Hey, what's that up there?"

"I believe it's a message." Lady Imagineer answered and began reading the message. "I think it says, 'Meet us at the castle at once. Signed, the Crystal Gems'."

"That just spells out B.U.T.T.," Monty said as he read the message in the sky himself. "How are you able to get all that?!"

"Call it a hunch." Imagineer smiled kindly in reply before she flew towards the castle. "Come on, everybody, follow me!"

--

"Hey, I think I can see people coming towards us!" Laz exclaimed as she, Lapis, and Zuli watched the Contest competitors race towards the castle. "Our message worked!"

"Good, but next time," Lapis said before turning to Zuli. "let's try and get straight to the point instead of just writing funny words in the sky. You're lucky this didn't end up like last time, Zuli!"

"Oh, come on, Lapis, you told me it was a good idea back in the day on Tritek!" Zuli tried shifting the blame to Lapis. "Those Gremlins didn't know what hit them!"

"Can you three please stop arguing and get back in here?!" Jasper bellowed for the three Lapides to come inside. "We need to think of a plan!"

The three terraformers hovered into the main hall of the castle, where the Crystal Gems have gathered the royal family of Serpentes, Captain Boa, Aescul, the Metals, the various contestants in the Contest of Champions, the Diamonds, Bialyoom and Meinerr, the Little Homeworld gems, the Universal Lords, and the Off-Colors together to form an alliance to save Serpentes and the universe.

"Good day to you all." Connie announced to the ragtag band of misfits. "As I'm sure you're all aware of what has been happening lately, about the announcement that Nosiop is plotting to conquer the planet with an army of Gems. Today, we have gathered you all to stop that for the good of everyone in the universe."

"I can't believe my son would do this to me." Cobralan muttered in shame and regret while looking down at his hands. "I've done so much for his happiness, and this is how he repays me? What have I done that would warrant such a reaction?"

"Do you want me to be honest with you or not?" Greg asked Cobralan.

"I'll take any answer at this point," Cobralan replied.

"To be frank, you're kind of a mediocre father," Greg admitted bluntly, much to Cobralan's shock. "What? You said you'd take any answer!"

"Don't fret, dear husband, I'm sure he's just joshing with you!" Constricta tried to cheer her husband up.

"No, I'm being serious!" Greg exclaimed. "I can definitely see you're a great & loving husband and a pretty darn good ruler to your people, but this whole contest has distanced you from your kids and their needs. I mean, Naja probably has serious self-doubt issues, and Nosiop speaks for himself."

"The human is right, father." Naja agreed with Greg. "Ever since you made me the Contest's master of ceremonies, I've had to deal with the fear of disappointing the masses, that I'd be unworthy of being a princess if I make just one mistake."

"Oh my dear, you'll never be a disappointment to me." Cobralan said as he comforted his daughter with a hug. "No matter what you do to impress the masses, you'll always be my little girl. Now, please, Naja, your mother and I urge you this one time. Please stand, stand by us."

"Okay, Father, I will," Naja replied with a sniffle. "And hopefully, we can bring Nosiop back to his senses too."

"So, what do we do now?" Amethyst asked. "The Lapidarist said we needed an ultimate fusion to stop this Squamata guy once and for all, but which one is it? Opal, Sugilite, Sardonyx, Alexandrite? Maybe even Malachite?"

"Hey, speaking of which, anybody seen Steven lately?" Pearl added. "I haven't seen him since the Lapidarist's history lesson, and I'm getting worried. Hopefully, he hasn't decided to leave Serpentes early."

"No way Steven would ever do that, not in a thousand different timelines I've examined." Garnet proclaimed. "He has to be here somewhere; we just need to know where."

"Probably still somewhere in the castle." Peridot answered. "Hopefully, he hasn't gone too far."

"I'll go search for him." Squaridot declared as she tried leaving the group, only to be stopped in her tracks when Peridot grabbed her stubby green arm.

"Oh no, you don't!" Peridot yelled. "I've known Steven longer; let me search for him!"

"No, I'll do it, you obnoxious nacho!" Squaridot argued with her triangular counterpart before the two hissed at each other and got into a slapfight.

"Spinel, you find Steven." Bismuth ordered Spinel, who gave a hearty salute and ran off.

"Hang on, Steve Summers, I'm coming for you!" Spinel yelled as she ran deeper into the castle.

"I hope Steven can find it in himself to forgive the Diamonds for lying to him." White Topaz said.

"Then again, he's just a very forgiving person in general." Aescul declared. "So this should be pretty easy for him."

--

"Finding this resting place is not easy at all!" Nosiop complained as he, Pyth, Black Rutile, and a few Slytherophidian soldiers ventured into the desert plains of Serpentes in search of Squamata's resting place. "We could've stabbed the location right out of Father, but then we had a couple of fusions ruining everything! No doubt the Crystal Gems are plotting against us as we speak!"

"Thank goodness you eventually got me out of those restraints, Black Rutile," Pyth said with a sinister smile at Black Rutile. "Now look alive. We got some friends on the other side on the horizon."

"Yes, that Serpent Society cult you told me about." Black Rutile replied. "Shouldn't there be more of us?"

"Unfortunately, most of our ranks have been lost to time, except for a few members still alive and kicking today," Pyth explained as a massive spaceship began descending upon Serpentes. Upon landing, its passengers revealed themselves to be a few faces that Black Rutile found familiar.

"Well well well, Torius Vosania." Black Rutile said upon recognizing the crime lord and estranged criminal brother of Batsputin Vosania. "Fancy meeting you here after you got brought to justice by those Pearls."

"Indeed, Black Rutile and I brought along a few new friends I met in prison." Torius declared as he revealed two more thugs by his side who had joined the brother of Batsputin in his revenge plot. One of them was Mr. Manco, the cybernetic menace of East Walleef from Sergione-29 who, much like Torius Vosania, also formed an alliance with Cinnabar in the past before the Black Pearl Brigade foiled his plans. However, the next villain was an even bigger shock to Black Rutile's core.

"No, that cannot be!" Black Rutile gasped in shock at the humanoid figure dressed in green armor with a foghat gray mask, blank red eyes, a purple cape, and a red V on his chest. "Velhallen Beo?! I thought Batsputin defeated you in the Battle of the Night! Were you in prison this whole time?"

"Indeed I was, Gem." Velhallen Beo replied with an arrogant sneer. "But now, thanks to Prince Nosiop, I can retake control of the Twilight Zone with the power of Squamata! Now tell us, where is he hiding?"

"Unfortunately, I was outsmarted by a few of the Crystal Gems before I could extort His Majesty for information," Pyth said regretfully. "Anyone else got any bright ideas?"

"Oh yes, I have one." Mr. Manco declared. "A rumor spread by a fellow prisoner named Titanius Anglesmith says that there is an ancient temple hidden beneath the surface of Serpentes, and only one may be sacrificed for the beast within to be unleashed."

"And I think we know just the sacrifice." Nosiop declared as all the members of the Serpent Society turned to Black Rutile with evil grins. "Black Rutile, would you care to help us unleash total death and destruction at the cost of your life?"

"What?! You can't just betray me like this when I've already been betrayed!" Black Rutile yelled in horror while Beo tried to grab her by the wrists. "Let go of me!"

"Don't try to fight it. You've been craving the sweet release of death, haven't you?" Beo hissed eagerly, stunning Black Rutile for a few moments before she regained her composure and tugged at Velhallen Beo's grip before tossing him over her head, causing the former Universal Lord to lose his grasp on the Gem terrorist. "What the?!"

"I have to warn Steven!" Black Rutile shouted the absolute last thing she ever wanted to say before making her escape.

"What are you waiting for, you nimrods?! After her!" Beo shouted when Nosiop put up a hand to block him.

"Leave her. She's going to bring Steven to us." Nosiop proclaimed. "Now then, anyone else care to be sacrificed? How about you, Maverick? Would you like to give up your life for my cause?"

"Uh, what?" Maverick muttered before Torius picked up the snake guard with his new and improved cybernetics and dragged him away. "I do not consent to this! I demand a two weeks' notice!"

--

Back at the Jormagundrs' castle, Steven was sitting on one of the castle battlements as he gazed up at the bright afternoon sun when he heard someone approaching him.

"Hey, Steven!" Spinel exclaimed while sitting down next to her best half-human friend. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"Yeah, it's about the Diamonds." Steven said softly. "I thought I learned all I could ever learn about them, but then they whip out this whole coverup and make me even more justified in my paranoia! If it turns out someone who loved you was hiding a huge secret this whole time, how would you react?"

"You mean the whole Pink Diamond thing?" Spinel replied with a blunt expression on her face. "Yeah, I'm not sure how to react, considering she died and didn't even tell me because I was standing in the middle of the garden for thousands of years! But the point is, you can't just hold it against the Diamonds for as long as you live, especially since we got a crazy prince about to kill us all!"

"I have every right to hold it against them!" Steven argued with Spinel. "I have every right to be so wary of them, considering that they're acting like they didn't scar me for life, brainwashed my friends, and nearly killed me just because I'm family!"

"Wow, never knew you could hold a grudge, Steven," Spinel muttered in shock. "But hey, it's not like things could get any worse from here on out, right?" Just then, the ground beneath the two began shaking, almost like an earthquake had struck Serpentes. "Me and my big mouth!"

The skies began turning darker than the blackest void as a massive snake creature with green scales, a yellow underbelly, and ginormous sharp fangs emerged from afar and released a mighty roar. "I have turned hundreds upon thousands of worlds to dust in the name of darkness and devastation until I was robbed of my glory." Squamata, the fearsome god of Serpentes, roared for all to hear across the universe. "I will stride across the bones of my enemies and bask in the glow of pure evil, for all of existence shall be mine to consume!"

It turns out that forgiving the Diamonds for their past atrocities would be the least of Steven's worries.

The worst has finally come.

--

Yeah, you and your big mouth, Spinel. At long last, Squamata has been unleashed and is free to destroy all that he sees! At least until an army of Gems can bring him down for good, but it won't be the army that Nosiop desires. Plus, it'll only be a matter of time before Squamata goes out of control and betrays the Serpent Society to pursue his goal of destroying everything he sees. How can the Crystal Gems possibly survive against a creature that only knows and revels in such levels of destruction and chaos? We'll just have to wait and see.

[sbrown82]

The cast of Living Single for Essence Magazine (1995)

[abs0luteb4stard]

W A T C H I N G

I used to see episodes on TV way back when. I've seen it a few times probably via library DVDs.

But it's on a streamer app/site so I thought it might be fun. Reminisce.

Turns out my mom came around at episode 2 and wanted to see the rest! Go figure. She enjoyed it too.

[scenesandscreens]

Afro Samurai (2007)

Director - Fuminori Kizaki

[trueblueandtightlikeglue]

Living Single 1x23 U.N.I.T.Y. (a.k.a. Five Card Stud)

[brianfrench1995]

Two sitcoms - one house.

Pilot episode of living single filmed in the Winslow house from family matters.

[spookytuesdaypod]

spooky tuesday is a (now not so new!) podcast where we’re breaking down all of our favorite slashers, thrillers, monster movies and black comedies on the new scariest day of the week.

ready for the return of this year’s most exciting event???? it’s final destination summer here at spooky tuesday, and we’re back for another round with final destination 2 (2003). a film that tries to put its own special touches on the first movie’s mythology, fd2 starts with the infamous log truck disaster and then switches gears as it reverses through death’s order (or something) to feature sneaky trips to the salon, an implied pro-abortion message, and a special little wink from tony todd himself.

give spooky tuesday a listen on apple podcasts, spotify, iheart radio, or stitcher

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe Snake Eyes chapter 2: Let the Games Begin (originally published on September 4, 2023)

AN: Now that we have our first chapter out of the way, I'm sure you're all wondering what the Crystal Gems were doing before they got captured by the Slytherophidians. Well, you won't have to ask any longer because this chapter will answer any questions you might have about what happened after the end of Little Homeworld Life and set up what's to come for the remainder of Snake Eyes. With that out of the way, let's get it started!

Synopsis: On the planet Serpentes, the Crystal Gems are forced to fight in gladiator death matches against captive warriors from across the stars.

Cast:

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst, Famethyst

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl, The Black Pearl Brigade, Yellow Pearl, Blue Pearl, Volleyball

Jennifer Paz as Lapis, Laz, Zuli

Shelby Rabara as Peridot

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Kimberly Brooks as Jasper

Lauren Ash as White Topaz

Charlyne Yi as Ruby, Eyeball

Erica Luttrell as Sapphire

Patti LuPone as Yellow Diamond

Lisa Hannigan as Blue Diamond

Christine Ebersole as White Diamond

Sarah Stiles as Spinel

Christine Baranski as Hessonite

Olivia Olson as Citrine

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Avi Roque as Cinnabar

Gina Torres as Andesine

Peter Cullen as Titanium

Jeffrey Combs as Mercury

Bumper Robinson as Gold

Aimee Mann as Opal

Neil Flynn as Aescul

Featuring Aurelio Voltaire as King Cobralan Jormagundr

Shirley Millner as Queen Constricta Jormagundr

Jason Marsden as Prince Nosiop Jormagundr

Cissy Jones as Princess Naja Jormagundr

Henry Rollins as Captain Boa

Keith David as Pyth

John Moschitta Jr. as Bialyoom Milamin

Stephanie Escajeda as Meinerr

Terrence C. Carson as The Decimator

Steven Blum as Earthos

Jim Ross as Jiross

Michael Buffer as Michauffer

Peter Linz as Heckler #1

And Dave Goelz as Heckler #2

--

A few weeks before the attack of the Slytherophidians, Beach City was in celebration. At long last, Black Rutile had been defeated yet again, this time possibly for good as she and her Gem supporters were taken to prison in the darkest depths of space, and now life could go back to normal. For the Gems, this moment has become even more special as now they can finally get back to planning Ruby and Sapphire's wedding anniversary. With the decorations hung back up and a new cake on the table, the party could finally get started.

"Happy anniversary!" the Crystal Gems and people of Beach City cried as they celebrated Ruby and Sapphire's marriage. Ruby and Sapphire were so delighted to have everybody come to such a momentous occasion, they both thought it was like a dream.

"I wish this moment could last forever," Ruby said as she scooped up her blue wife in her stubby red arms. "Of course, I already have you to do it."

"Oh stop, Wuby!" Sapphire laughed and started baby-talking to her significant other while Amethyst and Pearl watched from the refreshments table.

"Ah, this is livin', Pearl Jam." Amethyst sighed in relief while taking a big gulp of punch. "Maybe now, we can finally have some peace and quiet with Black Rutile out of the way."

"Don't count on it, Amethyst." Pearl shook her head in reply. "With the Crystal Gems, you just never know when danger will be around the corner. Though frankly, I'm concerned that we've been in a lot more trouble than usual lately."

"Like I said, hopefully, we can have some peace and quiet for now," Amethyst said optimistically. "Though if trouble does come our way, you can bet your bottom dollar I'll be ready!"

"Nice to see you're so positive, Amethyst." Pearl laughed at Amethyst's remark as the two continued watching Ruby and Sapphire embrace each other. "That reminds me, we should start planning for Steven's birthday soon. I think he's turning 18 now."

"Wow, eighteen, I can't believe it." Greg sighed in disbelief as he sat by the two Gems with a slice of cake in hand. "Well, better break out some of the good beer to celebrate."

"Hey, save it for when he's 21!" Amethyst exclaimed. "Though you're free to give me some if you want. I promise this won't end up like the last time I went out drinking."

"Yep, I had to explain everything to Mr. Dewey." Pearl groaned at the memory while Greg and Amethyst laughed the day away. Yes, it seemed like the Crystal Gems could finally return to their happily ever after, but unfortunately, this wouldn't last for long.

---

About three weeks later, Little Homeworld has come under attack. The Crystal Gems had received an urgent message from Peridot that a group of strange invaders had descended upon the town and were carting Gems off into their ship. The Crystal Gems raced to Little Homeworld as soon as it ended and were ready for a fight as soon as they got off the Warp Pad.

"Okay you intruders, surrender our friends now and we won't have to hurt you!" Garnet exclaimed as she prepared her gauntlets and pointed them at the armored snakelike invader pointing a futuristic blaster at Teal Zircon's head.

"Well, well, well. The Crystal Gems." The invader said, turning his head to face the Gems ready to fight him. "Hey guys, the Crystal Gems are here!" The other masked snakes all stopped what they were doing and politely greeted the Gems, ignoring the fact that just now they were holding everyone at Little Homeworld hostage. "Hey wait a sec, shouldn't there be a human sidekick with you? About yay high, inherited his mother's gem and has some serious emotional issues. Ring any bells?"

"Unfortunately, Steven is not with us right now." Pearl declared. "But that won't stop us from taking you down!"

"Then, by all means, come and get us." The snake leader proclaimed before firing from his blaster, only to be deflected by Lapis shielding the Crystal Gems with her water wings. "Watch out, they got a Lapis Lazuli!"

"Everyone spread out and get everyone away from these snakes!" Jasper commanded the other Crystal Gems before spin-dashing straight into the snakes' leader.

"Oh, you think we are snakes, eh?" the leader snake confidently said. "Perhapsss you'd like to ssssee how ssssnake-like we can BE!" Retracting his visor to reveal his reptilian face, the snake bared his fangs and bit Jasper on the neck, causing her to yelp in pain and surprise. "Here I thought you Gems were stronger than that!"

Meanwhile, Pearl and Lapis had enlisted the help of the Lapis twins and the Black Pearl Brigade to fight back against the snakes. "Okay girls, you take the 50 on the left, we'll take the 50 on the right."

"Screw you, we'll take all 100!" Braids of the Black Pearl Brigade yelled as she charged into battle against the snakes.

"That's the spirit!" Zuli exclaimed before turning her wings into a pair of water fists to punch the snakes away. "DORARARARARARARA, DORA!"

"Did you have any idea of where they came from?" Pearl asked Cap while slashing away at a few snakes.

"We have no clue!" Cap exclaimed. "Just this morning, they descended from the sky and said they were going to enslave us all or something. Well, I don't believe I'll ever be a slave again!"

"That's what you think, Pearlie." Another of the snakes said before brandishing a pair of handcuffs and trying to restrain Cap with them, but Nacre and Pearl got in his way. "Unhand me, Gems!"

"We won't let you hurt any of our friends!" Pearl exclaimed.

"You sure about that?" the snake said before pointing with his tail at Garnet, Amethyst, White Topaz, and Bismuth already restrained, with Peridot and Jasper on the run. "Face it, ladies, you're all coming with us now."

"To where?" Laz asked before she was quickly taken down.

"To meet your makers, that is." The snake smirked with a hiss. "Cuff 'em, boys!" At his command, the invading snakes had all of the Crystal Gems herded onto their ship in handcuffs and forced onboard along with dozens of other abducted aliens for yet unknown purposes.

"How did we get defeated so easily?!" Jasper roared furiously. "I could've sworn we had them in the bag!"

"I don't know, they ran circles around us!" Peridot replied nervously. "And they said we were going to meet our makers or something! What does that mean?"

"It means we have a special friend waiting for you in our world." The snake carrying Peridot under his arm like a large package said before speaking into a wrist communicator. "Maverick to Goose, how are things holding up on Homeworld?"

---

"Goose to Maverick, we got 'em pretty easily." Another snake soldier stationed on Homeworld replied. "Turns out they shut down their entire military at the beginning of Era 3 except for a few mercenaries. It's like they were asking for us to overpower them!"

"I want a lawyer, I want a doctor! I want a cheese sandwich!" Spinel yelled as she was tied up into a ball by a pair of snakes and rolled onboard their ship.

"You won't get away with his, Slytherophidians!" Yellow Diamond yelled as the Diamonds were given a special cell on the ship to accommodate their massive size. "The Crystal Gems will find you and you will soon pay!"

"Oh, don't get too cocky, because no one will miss you once you get slaughtered in the Contest of Champions." Goose sneered. "Guess that's what you get for slaughtering thousands over the years, trying to cover it up by saying you never destroyed a planet with sentient life, and brushed it all under the rug just because that pink brat is somehow still alive."

"Wait, a cover-up?" Yellow Pearl asked as she, Blue Pearl, and Volleyball were carted into a cell.

"Of course, there was a cover-up!" Goose explained. "What, you're their Pearls, you mean to tell me they don't trust you with any dark secrets? Oh wait, you're their Pearls, so they don't trust you with anything except standing around and looking cute."

"Hessonite, were you involved in this cover-up or whatever?" Citrine asked Hessonite in their cell.

"Yes, I did indeed lie about how some planets were completely barren once or twice," Hessonite admitted. "Like for example, remember what happened to Hosnian Prime?"

"I thought that was completely barren when you fired that giant laser at it," Citrine replied before the realization dawned on her. "Oooohhhhh noooooo."

"Yes, that was a part of us we refused to bring up for ages now." White Diamond declared. "I don't want to think of how Steven would react."

"We're already on thin ice with him as is, as the saying goes." Blue Diamond agreed.

"Okay, enough chit-chat, let's get this ship flying!" Goose commanded his subordinates as he pounded on the ship and ordered the vessel to start flying away from the Gem Homeworld.

---

Meanwhile, Maverick was piloting the ship that the Crystal Gems were on while his squad kept watch over their various extraterrestrial prisoners. In each specialized cell, their respective prisoners were kept under lock and key to prevent anyone from rebelling. In the Crystal Gems' cell, Pearl's face was pressed up against the glass barrier as a large hologram of an anthropomorphic king cobra dressed in regal attire activated to make an announcement.

"Good day to all my prisoners!" the snake greeted the reluctant passengers. "I am King Cobralan Jormagundr, the supreme ruler of the Slytherophidians of Serpentes, and I welcome you as the next generation of combatants in the Serpentes Contest of Champions! For those not in the know, we Slytherophidians live for gladiatorial combat, so we abduct species from across the universe to compete for our people's amusement. This was a tradition started eons ago by my beloved ancestor King Serpentes I, whom our beautiful planet was named for."

As King Cobralan continued explaining, he began presenting pictures of the Slytherophidians' home planet, which Pearl observed to have a fantasy-like architecture that seemed like a heavy mix of Indian, Egyptian, and Roman aesthetics. "You'll all be taken here to the Ouroborium, a very special arena built to suit the environments and needs of our competitors. And speaking of which, if you mess up or aren't seen as entertaining enough, there will be consequences."

To demonstrate, the scene changed to a pair of robots fighting each other before one of them suddenly blew up. And there was much rejoicing. "But don't you worry your pretty little heads, y'all!" Cobralan continued. "That's reserved for if everyone really hates you and wants you dead. But what are the odds of that happening, eh? And for our Gem friends in particular, we'll be keeping a close eye on you through your new producer! Give it up for the lovable Bialyoom Milamin and his beautiful assistant Meinerr!"

Automated clapping sounds began playing as a blue-skinned, birdlike humanoid in a fancy suit stepped forward along with a bronze-skinned woman in a power suit with her hair in a tight bun. "These two shall be your talent agents for the duration of your stay here, now play nice with them. And speaking of which, here we are on Serpentes now!"

Indeed, the ship had finally landed on the planet of the Slytherophidians, where the Gems would be forced into the biggest battle of their lives.

"I-do-declare, it-is-an-utmost-pleasure-to-be-serving-you-today-Crystal-Gems!" Bialyoom greeted the Gems. True to his last name, he was literally speaking a mile a minute. "I-had-served-as-producer-to-such-interesting-competitors-before-in-my-long-career, but-never-before-had-I-ever-dreamed-of-meeting-you!"

"Uh, could you repeat just about everything you said?" Amethyst asked, not understanding a word Bialyoom just said.

"You'll have to excuse my partner here, his species all talk faster than light." Meinerr apologized on Bialyoom's behalf before explaining herself. "What he is trying to say is that you are among the most unique competitors he has ever sponsored. With us, you are entitled to full merchandising and sponsorship rights for the duration of your stay, or however long you last in the games."

"Celebrity status again?" Pearl groaned disdainfully at the thought. "Look, we didn't even ask for this, we just wanted to live a normal, quiet life away from all of this. We literally just had this same escapade not too long ago!"

"Ah, so-you-have-experience-then!" Bialyoom exclaimed delightedly. "Then-you'll-fit-in-just-fine! Now-come-with-us, we-shall-show-you-to-your-accommodations!" As the ship landed in Serpentes's capital city of Alethinophidia, the Crystal Gems were escorted out and paraded through a crowd of cheering snakes toward the Ouroborium. In the near distance, another ship landed, and out came the Diamonds, but unlike the Crystal Gems, they were met with scorn and prejudice.

"Gems? This planet has really gone to the dogs." An elderly Slytherophidian in the crowd muttered disdainfully.

"That would require there to be dogs, to begin with!" another elderly Slytherophidian joked, causing the two to laugh at their joke.

---

At the Ouroborium, the Crystal Gems were shown to a rather lavish room where they'll be staying on Serpentes. There was a large chandelier hanging over them, a positively gorgeous rug beneath their feet, and all around them were paintings depicting the Slytherophidian royal family throughout the years. "Nice place we got here." White Topaz muttered in amazement. "I wish we could stay here forever!"

"Don't get too excited, we've been forced here against our will," Garnet said while sitting down on one of the plush couches. "Ooh, this is a nice couch. What material is it?"

"Some of the finest leathers in all of Serpentes," Meinerr answered. "But don't get too comfy, your first big battle is coming very soon!" She pulled out a tablet and began reading off of it. "You shall be pitted against three Metals in the competition, and it is absolutely recommended you slay them to gain the audience's approval."

"Wait, the Metals?! As in our ancient relatives created from the same cosmic deity, the Metals?!" Peridot exclaimed. "You have no idea what slaying them will do to our relationship with them, you clod!"

"Hey, we-don't-make-the-rules-here-Gems!" Bialyoom shrugged as a pair of snake guards grabbed Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl and escorted them out of the room. "Now-go-on-and-make-us-proud!"

---

Soon, the original three Crystal Gems were taken into the Ouroborium, where true to what King Cobralan said, it was a massive arena filled with throngs of cheering snakes all excited about the carnage that was about to take place. Towering above their subjects in a special box was what Pearl assumed to be the royal family of Serpentes, including their ruler King Cobralan Jormagundr. Alongside him were Queen Constricta, a female constrictor snake sitting on a throne alongside her husband, and their two children; a female Indian cobra named Naja and a male black mamba named Nosiop, Captain Boa and Pyth, an Indian python who served as the family's grand vizier.

"Ah, there they are." Cobralan hissed with a smile. "I see they've made themselves comfortable. Naja, my darling daughter, would you care to introduce them to our adoring fans?"

"It would be my honor, Father." Naja smiled back at her father before grabbing a microphone with her tail and tossing it into her hand. "Welcome adoring fans of all scales to the 420,000th annual Serpentes Contest of Champions!"

"420, nice," Amethyst smirked before Pearl shot her a glare. "Come on, they knew what they were doing!"

"For this contest, we have some very special guests fighting for our entertainment here today!" Naja declared. "Please put your hands, tails, and other limbs together for the Crystal Gems!" The reception to the Crystal Gems was rather mixed. Many were excited to see such intergalactic celebrities on Serpentes today, but tons of others were eager to see Gems get the karma they deserve for the chaos they brought over thousands of years. "We have been keeping an eye on our ancient foes for eons, always plotting to invite them here but never quite catching up with them. But that all changes today! Which reminds me, our guests should find their opponents very familiar! Give it up for the Metals!"

The crowd began going wild as Titanium, Mercury, and Gold were forced out into the arena by Slytherophidian guards to combat Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. "The Crystal Gems, we meet at last." Titanium declared morosely. "I hope this won't damage our relationship with the rest of your kind."

"Man, I always wanted to fight one of you guys!" Gold said eagerly, only for Mercury to give him a gentle slap on the head.

"You realize that if we lose here, we'll die, right?" Mercury cautioned the young Metal. "Hopefully they can go easy on us."

"Face front, true believers, for we are about to witness history in the making!" Jiross, a Slytherophidian commentator in a cowboy hat exclaimed. "The Gems versus the Metals, which of these sister races shall come out on top and settle this age-old debate?!"

"Well, here we are today to answer that question once and for all!" the second commentator Michauffer added. "LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUUMBLEEEEEE!"

"So we're all in agreement that we should go easy on the Metals, right?" Amethyst asked the other Crystal Gems as their battle against the Metals began.

"Agreed." Garnet complied with the smaller Gem's idea while clashing fists with Titanium. "We need to get to the bottom of this and quick."

"Makes me wonder how Steven is doing," Pearl stated as she was pitted against Mercury. "He must be worried sick about us."

---

High above the arena where the carnage has begun, the Jormagundr royal family spectated the fight from above, each displaying a variety of emotions. Naja was hyperventilating from the stress of opening up such a big event with Boa there to comfort her, Constricta remained stoic to hide her devilish smile, Cobralan eagerly watched the Gems fight for their lives, and Nosiop reclined in his chair with a bored expression on his face. "Father, must we force these Gems onto our planet instead of visiting them in person?"

"Come on son, it's tradition!" Cobralan merrily said to his son. "Live a little and enjoy the fight!"

"I agree, but can't we break tradition just this once?!" Nosiop objected. "Come on, let's conquer a planet or two!"

"Nosey, dearie, we're already the rulers of an entire galactic empire, what would a few planets change?" Constricta stated, stroking her son's back with her tail just as she saw Garnet clock Titanium in the face. "Ooh, right in the kisser!"

"And of course, nobody understands me." Nosiop rolls his eyes before turning his head away from the action to face his family's advisor. "They just don't get it, we should be out there enslaving and conquering, not sitting here and forcing species to come to us!"

"Oh, don't be so sad, my boy." Pyth purred with a hand on the angry prince's nose. "Perhaps there are other ways we can convince them, mark my words."

"Everyone, look!" Captain Boa shouted as he pointed towards the Crystal Gems having beaten the Metals at last. "Alright Naja, now's your time again!"

"Oh, right!" Naja nervously said before picking up the microphone again. "It seems the Metals have been taken down for the count! Now, what do we say when that happens?!"

"FINISH HIM! FINISH HIM! FINISH HIM!" the audience chanted vigorously, eager to see some heads roll. "FINISH HIM! FINISH HIM! FINISH HIM!"

"AS SQUAMATA AS MY WITNESS, IT'S OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" Jiross yelled excitedly.

"FINISH HIM! FINISH HIM! FINISH HIM!" the snakes continued chanting for the Gems to slay the Metals once and for all and win this round. However, the Crystal Gems quickly came to a decision.

"No!" Pearl announced. "We will never take a life for your entertainment!" Unfortunately for the Gems, the spectators weren't pleased and began booing them instead.

"Go back to Earth, you hippies!" one of the audience members jeered before throwing a block of cheese at Amethyst, who quickly caught it in her mouth.

"See, told you the Gems wouldn't kill." One of the hecklers said to his elderly friend.

"How can somebody die when they're barely alive?" the other heckler stated before the two laughed.

---

"Well, this is an interesting development," Cobralan smirked before taking the microphone from his daughter. "As king, I shall allow this even if it means breaking the rules a little. We wouldn't want such special guests to have their time cut short."

"Are you serious right now?!" Nosiop yelled angrily. "They aren't even respecting the rules! We should have them executed on the spot at once!"

"Come on Nosey, just let Dad handle this." Naja tried calming her big brother down.

"No, I will not allow any breaking of our rules to go unpunished like this!" Nosiop continued yelling before Pyth put a scaly hand on the prince's shoulder.

"Just let it go, young man. Now come with me." Pyth said calmingly before the grand vizier took Nosiop away. "We have much to discuss."

---

"What-was-the-meaning-of-this?!" Bialyoom yelled angrily. "You-can't-just-decide-not-to-kill-your-opponent-like-that! It's-unheard-of!"

"Let us tell you what else is unheard of." Garnet firmly stated to Bialyoom. "We would never kill anybody for entertainment, especially if they were begging for their lives."

"We understand your fears Crystal Gems, but know that your approval rating means everything on Serpentes," Meinerr explained while presenting the Crystal Gems with a tablet demonstrating just that. "And wouldn't you know it, it's falling pretty quick."

"No matter what you tell us, we won't obey!" Pearl exclaimed. "But would it be okay if we just knocked out our opponents and let them live?"

"Oh, look at that. The Crystal Gems refuse to listen to anyone but themselves." Aquamarine smirked as she, Eyeball, Holly Blue, Cinnabar, and Andesine entered the Crystal Gems' room.

"Ugh, these guys." Bismuth rolled her eyes. "What do the Rutile Rebels want now?"

"For the record, we have now called ourselves the Andesine Armada." Andesine stated. "On account of our former leader being too much of a coward to continue guiding us before she abandoned us and ran off."

"Hey, I thought we agreed that we were going to call ourselves the Aquamarine Militia!" Aquamarine snapped at Andesine.

"No, I distinctly remember that our new name was going to be the Agate Gang!" Holly Blue yelled at the other rebel Gems.

"This arguing is getting us nowhere." Cinnabar quickly shut everyone up. "What we're trying to say is that we could lose our lives in these games. If you don't toughen up and start killing a few people, you will very well be killed. Which is why we've taken the initiative and started taking a few lives for ourselves."

"That-reminds-me, Amethyst-and-Pearl-have-a-fight-coming-up-against-the-Decimator-and-Earthos, two-of-the-deadliest-fighters-in-the-galaxy!" Bialyoom stated. "Now-go-go-go-make-us-proud!"

"The Decimator? He sounds awesome!" Amethyst cheered as she and Pearl were forced out of their room and back into the arena. "Can't wait to see how he decimates us!"

"Amethyst!" Pearl yelled.

---

"Well, it seems that our Gem friends are back for another round." Jiross declared as Pearl and Amethyst were forced back into the arena, this time against the Decimator, a massive, tattooed warrior wielding a pair of blades connected by an iron chain, and Earthos, a wolverine-like alien with sharp iron claws. "In this corner, we have the Decimator, one of the most fearsome warriors in the universe who is feared for rampaging across five galaxies in search of his enemies, and Earthos, who can make claws out of iron sand beneath his feet!"

"I have butchered millions across countless moons." The Decimator boomed in a deep, intimidating voice.

"We are totally ill-equipped for this." Pearl quivered in fear of the Decimator before Amethyst took her hand.

"Not entirely!" Amethyst exclaimed before twirling Pearl around and causing the two of them to glow, culminating in them fusing into Opal.

"And it looks like we got ourselves a fusion here, folks!" Michauffer exclaimed. "Looks like an Opal too, with those multiple arms and the bow and arrow! Jiross, what are your thoughts?"

"It's gonna be a slobberknocker!" Jiross yelled at Opal aimed down her sights and fired straight at the Decimator's eye, but he dodged just in time and the arrow accidentally stabbed a Slytherophidian in the audience. "Ooh, talk about a sorry excuse for aiming straight and true!"

"Dammit, let me handle this!" Earthos snarled as he formed claws of iron sand on his hands and began slashing at Opal, giving her a few scratches in the process but nothing too serious. "That's right, away you go!"

"On your left!" Opal cried before launching an arrow up into the air, making Earthos wonder if she was crazy or something. However, the arrow quickly returned to the Ouroborium and stabbed Earthos in his left side, knocking him out for the count. "And as for you."

"This should be easy." The Decimator said confidently while cracking his knuckles and throwing his blades at Opal, but she nimbly dodged them as they smashed to the ground, climbing her way up the giant's body and dodging more of his attacks. "Hold still, little fusion!"

"Not a chance!" Opal yelled as she did a spinning kick to the Decimator's face, sending him falling to the ground directly on top of one of the bleachers, crushing numerous spectators in the process. "Oh my goodness, I didn't realize there were innocents there!"

"Now you're getting it." The Decimator laughed weakly as he lay defeated. "Now finish me."

The chanting started again. "FINISH HIM! FINISH HIM! FINISH HIM! FINISH HIM!"

"The answer's still no!" Opal proclaimed, sticking true to the Crystal Gems' principles even when the Slytherophidians started booing yet again.

"Can't please everybody," Pearl said as she and Amethyst unfused and began leaving.

"Life goes on, but I believe we'll forever carry the pain on the inside, P," Amethyst added. "Got it from that janitor on TV."

---

"Why are we still allowing this?!" Nosiop yelled angrily at Opal's refusal to kill the Decimator, even though their battle had unknowingly claimed the lives of hundreds. "We should execute them immediately; this is an utter affront to our warrior culture!"

"Oh come now Nosiop, you're being too overbearing," Cobralan stated with a laugh. "Those Gems will be very important to us when the time comes, but in the meantime, we can just enjoy the festivities."

"Your Highness, we have a message from our deep cover agent on Earth!" a Slytherophidian servant yelled as he raced to his liege and presented a crackling communicator. "He says Steven Universe is coming!"

"Is he now?" Cobralan smiled as he picked up the communicator and started speaking into this. "Hello Aescul, I trust that you completed your mission?"

"Yes Milord, I have Steven on my ship as we speak, along with a few extra passengers," Aescul replied. "We'll be within Serpentes airspace in just a few moments."

"Wonderful! It'll truly be an honor to meet Steven at last!" Cobralan laughed while his son rolled his eyes.

"If he's anything like the other Gems, I'm not holding my breath," Nosiop said before Cobralan put the communicator down and began leaving. "Where are you going?"

"To visit our special friend, so to speak," Cobralan answered, knowing that his son and heir knew what he was talking about. "Gather the rest of the family, my boy." He then snuck away into a hidden chamber within the castle to meet with this special friend.

"The one called Universe is upon us," Cobralan said as Nosiop, Naja, Constricta, Boa, and Pyth stood before a large shadowy figure. "Soon, he will tell us all that he knows."

---

Seriously, who is this guy that the royal family keeps talking to?! Well, I'm the only one who knows the answer, but I'm not telling until the time is right! In the meantime, keep those theories a-coming and I'll see you next time!

[yourfriendlypyrovampire]

So, is Black Lightning going to be the show that'll reunite the actors of Living Single?

[wordsmithic]

Greeks find representation in AC Odyssey great!

My name is Alex Kalogiannis, and I’m Greek. You might have been able to put that together after hearing my name.

A strange thing happened as I began playing Assassin’s Creed Odyssey: I felt proud.

Many games have borrowed Greek themes or settings, particularly those tied to ancient myths, but the culture is rarely represented accurately. Assassin’s Creed Odyssey isn’t a perfect game, nor is it wholly authentic in its portrayal of Greek culture, but Ubisoft’s decision to cast Greek voice actors was brilliant. It was something I didn’t know I needed, and most players probably didn’t notice.

This isn’t new for me; I never have high expectations when it comes to games with Hellenic trappings, such as the God of War series. Those expectations have been tempered by films like Troy, where all the main characters tend to have Scottish accents or speak in Oxford English as Greek extras fill the background.

Pop culture rarely knows what to do with Greek stories outside of making sure the audience knows that the characters are “foreign” in some nebulous way.

And the thing was that I didn’t care, or at least didn’t care that much. Authenticity wasn’t anything I really expected or even hoped for. Would it matter? Can you imagine Kratos being as awesome if it weren’t for Terrence C. Carson or Christopher Judge, for example? I’m not trying to criticize these games or movies; I grew up playing or watching them, respectively, and was often a fan.

The trailers for Odyssey seemed to confirm that the game would contain the influences and cliched stylistic choices I grew up with. Brad Pitt’s hop-skip-stab from Troy was there, as was the 300-style Spartan kick. So many fictional choices from other movies are now repeated because they’ve become shorthand for Greek culture, even if they have nothing to do with our actual history.

To my great surprise, most of these irritations melted away in the background as soon as the voice acting in the game started to take center stage. And suddenly I got it.

This is what actual representation feels like! And it’s great!

_____________________________________________________________

(Read full article here)

[sbrown82]

The cast of “Living Single” attending a Fox Television event (1993).

[blackcelebritybirthdays]

Terrence C. Carson Born: November 19, 1958 #BlackCelebrityBirthdays #Terrence_C_Scott https://www.instagram.com/p/CHyjbY2JlYT/?igshid=1c9xkf7udatpl