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randomfoggytiger · 2 months ago

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Mulder Is Not Allowed to Mourn

While working my way through Tempus Fugit and Max, this scene struck me.

Mulder walks over to Max's corpse, somber and mournful; carefully unzips the plastic coverlet from his friend's face; and stares at it deeply before automatically reaching down to explore the body as evidence. A cry catches his attention, and he looks up to a family of mourners a few feet away. Mulder watches them, then stares back down with a strange expression-- as if he is moved by their grief but denied that same open display of emotion.

**Note**: While I don't inherently disagree with these takes, the hypothesis below is, overall, ill-formed. But it shall be left up for posterity's sake~.

We know the extensive history of The X-Files's traumas on one Dana Scully. It's rather self-evident, for one; but it's also obvious, played up for plot points to grow her character or progress the plot forward. And that principle extends to Mulder, too, right? Yes... but it differs in one key area.

Mulder and Scully suffer gendered violence repeatedly on the show. The Syndicate often reduces Scully down to her body and reproductive system (reluctantly coming to see her as Mulder's equal, if not their own, because of her intelligence and professionalism.) Mulder, however, is beaten over the head with trauma, and isn't allowed to mourn-- is supposed to, as the saying goes, "take it like a man."

And this wasn't an accidental flaw of (chiefly) Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz's writing: it was intentional. Nor was its bent misogynistic. Mulder suffered trauma; and the exploration and revelation and closure of that trauma served as the series' backbone. Specifically, Mulder suffered trauma through a gendered lens, propagated by his closest mentors (e.g. his parents and Bill Patterson), his label-and-dismiss peers (e.g. "Spooky Mulder"), his higher ups, and his society at large. Men are supposed to suffer in silence, if they must; but most importantly, they're not supposed to suffer at all.

We see this belief stem back to Mulder's parents, to the Consortium generation, to A.D. Skinner, to the 90s vulnerable males who feel a sense of shame or discomfort at being "failures" or "victims". Each crumbles or bears their cross on their shoulders as a form of duty. They feel, as Mulder demonstrates in Tempus Fugit, that they aren't allowed to mourn, minimizing and backing away from their pain for a later (inconvenient) date. They can feel loss, and sorrow; but aren't supposed to feel it for long.

Mulder's and Scully's characters served to break traditional barriers: he the believer, she the skeptic. He opened himself back up to painful memories to recover what he lost while she repressed and avoided them. He more openly expresses pain, she does not. However, the narrative-- or David Duchovny, or both-- shows time and again that Mulder also serves as a magnifying glass of mens' issues and expectations. In the early seasons, Mulder's trauma is exploited by shadowy informants, ex-girlfriends, malicious higher-ups, and his own mother. Whenever Scully is in peril, Mulder is expected to leave her in the dust and run after the truth; and is yelled or sneered at when he deviates from that expectation. In Fight the Future, it's revealed his father spared him so Mulder could grow up and stop the Conspiracy: yes because Bill loved him, but also because he expected his son to "save the world." These Mulder moments aren't written as a glorification of the strong and silent suffering male, either: in fact, Carter and Spotnitz often slow the script down just enough to touch on the toll it takes on Mulder-- and the toll it took on Bill Mulder, CSM, Bill Patterson, and countless others.

While Scully's traumas are explored and the men who do it to her are demonized, Mulder's are largely shoved aside-- despite them serving as the central mission of The X-Files-- because Mulder himself shoves them aside. Even though Mulder is the "believer", he is still a man; and despite breaking many of society's rules and expectations regularly (and with delight), Mulder is still twisted up in self-loathing and shame, seeing his needs-- and an expression of those needs-- as secondary to everyone else's. He is desperate to save his sister and his partner; he is devastated he can't save his father, his mother, and (again) his sister. But he constantly redirects that devastation away from himself, not facing it as Scully allows herself to do in therapy or after her remission (or after Milagro.)

There is an inherent message left unaddressed in the middle of each script, scene, and episode: Mulder is repressed, Scully is seeking repression. Mulder and Scully both judge themselves on societies' expectations for men, and both feel shame when indulging in painful emotions. But while Scully will seek space for herself-- will grieve or cry in the shelter of isolation-- Mulder refuses to allow himself that relief. And despite not being "that type of show", the writers (usually) slow down the scene to allow brief glimpses into the wrongness of that expectation and its damage for both.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

#txf #xf meta #mine #S4 #Tempus Fugit #xf fanvid #vids #Mulder

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carefulfears · 2 years ago

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so i really love whenever you call mulder & scully best friends. wanna talk about your top 5 favorite moments of their friendship?

DO I EVER

1/ little green men

they have a secret code. they have their own language.

when mulder gets to his desk that morning, the photo of samantha is tipped over, and he knows that this means to meet scully at the watergate. which, first of all, is unbelievably dorky. these two work in the same building. these two have cell phones.

but they have been split up and reassigned and it is not a phase you guys it is the end of the world!!!!

when he arrives in the parking garage, he asks what she wants, and she responds, "to know that you're alright."

they have a secret code and their own language and for nothing more than to check in.

(shoutout to the depression hair era, they are so funny for both getting bangs the moment they were separated. that's how you know things are really bad for the girlies.)

when he sinks down to the floor and tells her the george hale story, she crouches down next to him, listens, tells him not to give up.

you can tell that it makes her uneasy to see him defeated, to see him doubting himself and what he believes in. she's almost trying to convince him of aliens in that moment, telling him that he's seen so much and reminding him of samantha. trying to spark something in him.

they have a secret code, they have their own language, and when he leaves town, he buys the plane ticket under a name that only she will recognize. she cracks his computer password in three tries.

earlier, after skinner questions scully, he tells CSM that she's telling the truth, she really doesn't know where mulder is. "because if she knew, she wouldn't be so worried about him."

they aren't as hard to decipher as they want to believe.

PAUSE!!!!! this is the cuntiest thing he's ever done. the sunglasses, the denim, the boots, the dangerous lack of exit strategy...anyway

she interprets his clues, she follows without obligation, they go back together. hand in his hair, not giving up, just like she started the episode.

in the end, they have nothing. the hail mary trip resulted in empty tables and silent tape recordings.

one thing i didn't notice until i rewatched this one the other day is that it's not when he says "i still have you" that she takes his hand.

it's when he switches the tape from the record of his failed excursion to his actual assignment, hours of listening to slimy men talk about strippers.

she listens with him for a moment before shaking her head, and squeezing his hand. she does understand that this isn't what he wants to be doing, and that it's disheartening.

2/ tooms

i could list every season one episode here. i could do a whole other post just about season one. i could do a whole other post just about season one, and include every episode. but i guess i will settle for this one.

this is my favorite season, and this is my favorite MSR.

him waving the pine tree air freshener in her face when she said he smells 😭😭😭

squeeze was all about the choice between climbing the ladder and the "out there" but "good" work of the basement, with all of the ridicule and consequence that come with it.

its sequel episode is about the aftermath of that decision, what it means to choose the side of the victim, to stop reaching for personal success.

(this shot is so beautiful, her face through CSM's smoke)

tooms opens with scully in a negative performance review, skinner (in his very first scene!! we love you skinman) going over her reports, CSM lurking in the corner.

the two share a look, then warn scully against having too much of an open mind, telling her that it is her "responsibility to see that these cases are by the book"

"by the book" becomes the theme of the episode, with the phrase repeating multiple times throughout.

this isn't the first time that the show has explored this topic, with young at heart also centering a debate of “by the book” protocol, what it really means, and who it really serves. ending with this final dialogue:

SCULLY: Mulder, I know what you did wasn't by the book.

MULDER: Tells you a lot about the book, doesn't it?

“by the book” isn’t an easy order to follow when you have a partner who doesn’t believe in it, and you aren’t sure you do either.

it’s not an easy order to follow, for the navy captain’s daughter who worships authority.

she does try though, and she's initially frustrated with mulder's behavior in the case. she tells him that he "sounded so....." at the trial, and she's reluctant to pursue his methods without approval from the bureau.

ultimately, when she comes to bring mulder something to eat on his unauthorized stakeout, she tells him that what he's doing is not proper surveillance protocol, and he good-naturedly accuses her of peddling "the book."

she responds, "this is not about doing it by the book, this is about you not having slept for three days." and tells him that he is inevitably going to get hurt.

to her, it's not about following the rules or pressure from the bureau or respecting authority, it's about making sure he's okay.

when she tells him to go home, that she'll take over the stakeout, he smiles and shakes his head (it's almost the same look that he gives her years later in redux ii, when she tells him to lay it all on her. just less tears.)

and i know that we tend to focus on the next part of this scene, but this line stands out to me too, as he declines because he doesn't want her to get "in trouble."

he doesn't want her to break the rules or disobey authority, and he still believes she'll be head of the bureau someday.

it kinda makes me teary, this stupefied look on his face at her response. when she looks at him unflinching and says, "mulder, i wouldn't put myself on the line for anybody but you."

they are so kind to each other. they really don't care about official reprimands in files or welfare protocols; they each just want the other to get some rest, to have a bright future.

he relents, allows her to take over, on the condition that she calls "if anything happens. immediately. i'll be here." and suggests she catch the sports talk radio show

she bends down to give him one last smile and eye roll as she exits the car

and makes a joke to herself while walking back to her own. best best best friends.

3/ tempus fugit

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SPECIALAGENTDANAKATHERINESCULLYYYYY

what better way to celebrate life than annoying the hell out of your best friend on her birthday?

the way he clearly gave the waiters her name and this snowball and sparkler and sang "special agent dana katherine scully" while they all sang "happy birthday dana" is one of his most embarrassingly extra moments and it never fails to make me laugh

she rolls her eyes at him, but the way she stares when he's not looking says so much. they both know why this year gets sparklers and song when last year didn't. they both know there might not be a next year.

he's literally never been more irritatingly overjoyed lmao. and he brought presents! ("oh, you've got to be kidding me" "just something that reminded me of you")

he said "i didn't know it was your birthday, scully!" with a wrapped gift in his pocket, always prepared with a smile and a cover story

he does this same thing in memento mori, after getting the call to come to the hospital, when his first words of the episode are "i stole these from some guy with a broken leg down the hall. he won't be able to catch me." about the flowers we watched him come through the front doors holding

he clearly puts thought into these gestures, but everything is so fragile. neither of them are comfortable with what too much sincerity would mean, how limited it all is.

but they find little ways to give to each other anyway, they hang out in bars and roll their eyes and discuss the meaning behind a keychain.

if this is the last birthday, maybe it's worth a little vulnerability (and annoying song and dance), that he did it up right.

4/ one breath

another Mulder Gift™️ entry. god, the sweetness here is just overwhelming. he is so strange and tries so hard.

this whole scene is one of my favorites of the series, but i love this little moment so much.

it's so inadequate, in the end. to see someone that you thought you'd lost, your most important person, who was gone for so long, and have nothing more to give them than a shitty VHS sports tape.

but what else can you do? he's so quiet and self-conscious in this moment. he raced to the top of mountains and stood on broken cable cars and choked a man and wore her necklace around his neck for months and wept on the floor. he had the strength of her beliefs, and he prayed. he held her hand by her bedside after they pulled the plug.

so much goes unsaid between them, because how can you say it in words? how can you do anything but smile and buy something stupid at the gift shop?

she makes a joke while he smiles at the floor, but it's not a joke, not really. he's there and he's giving her whatever he can and he's cracking jokes, and she knew there was a reason to live. that's it right there.

5/ detour

GO, GIRL!

this is a best friends episode. this is a "we survived that hospital and we refuse to spend our one wild and precious life at the annual FBI teamwork seminar, if you need us, we'll be lost in the forest" episode.

look at her trying not to laugh while he's making sarcastic comments at her in the backseat. can you imagine carpooling with these two? they are forever passing notes and whispering behind backs.

she is not making it to the teamwork seminar. she is not getting her wine and cheese, either. she is looking for mothmen in western florida.

they think they're so much better than that communication exercise, just to make vague innuendo in a motel room.

they tell each other all about native species and how ticks can halt their metabolism and the livestock that was killed in a town 30 years ago. she teases him about his filing system.

neither of them tire of bashing the hell out of that teamwork seminar.

they talk about death. about searching for meaning in life. about which flintstones character they relate to the most. they swap dirty jokes.

she fusses over his grave injury (a dislocated shoulder) and holds him. sings to him so that he'll know she's still there.

a few years down the road, she'll sing that same song to their baby, on one of her last days with him. she'll sing to him about this night, about his dad, about her favorite memories.

sitting there together in that forest in florida, they have already started to carry the weight of near-misses. of lost time, of almosts, of purposeful disease.

they have come a long way and taken on a lot, in the years since the parked car outside tooms' house and the garage at the watergate.

but they have yet to be separated longer than 90 days. they have yet to lose a child. they have yet to plan funerals and prison breaks.

there's something about that time, that ability to just sit in the woods and talk about everything, looking for mothmen, that is so precious and so special.

and when she tells him that night that she had struggled to find meaning, that's where it is.

#thank you for this #dream assignment #they ARE best friends #and it's my favorite #msr #asks #little green men #tooms #tempus fugit #one breath #detour #kae meta

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