#Technically there is something else to be done which is just to split it into parts so I can print it out really big

[jaxon-exe]

Back at it again with the dp x dc prompt

(If u want to do something with it, feel free)

So this is set a looooooong time after the show. Sam and Tucker r now ghost (they do look like teenagers but wether that’s bc that’s how they want to look or if they died young is up to u) and while Danny is still a halfa he spends more time dead than alive these days since everyone he cares about is long dead.

Anyway, after several centuries they finally manage to get through the mountain of back logged paper work from pariah’s time as king (and yes, technically Danny, as the king, was the only one who had to do that but he guilt tripped the others into helping) and they decided they deserved a vacation!

More than that they deserve to have fun!

So they come up with a bet,

All three of them would each choose a villain to be the sidekick of. Which villain they choose is up to them but it has to be in the same city. The goal? Get ur boss arrested without blowing ur cover!!

The rules:

The villain can not suspect ur working against them

The Heroes can not suspect ur helping them

Avoid civilian casualties as much as possible (their morals r a bit skewed after being dead for centuries but they would like to avoid a pissed off ghost is they can)

Ur time start as soon as they split to find their new bosses and ends so soon as the villain is caught.

U r allowed to escape from jail/police custody/the heroes if ur boss isn’t caught yet

Once the villain is caught u have to hand urself in and wait for everyone else to be done

The first person to get their boss caught get bragging rights

The last person to get their boss caught has to explain any time line fuck ups they might have caused by doing this to clockwork

With the rules set they just have to find the right city and hey would u look at that, there’s a mass brake out in Arkham right now. Gotham is really the best place for the game bc not only does it have a lot of villains it also has a lot of heroes so it’s more even since they will all have at least one hero gunning for their boss at all times.

Starting the clock the three set off. Sam, immediately, chooses Poison Ivy, for obvious reasons. Tucker chooses Riddler, he knows tech to well it would be easy for him to sabotage any death traps without it looking like sabotage. Danny on the other hand is torn. He was originally thinking to go with Dr Freeze bc ice core but he kinda sympathises with the guy. He just trying to save his wife and as a protector spirit, he can respect that and would feel awful to sabotage him. He than thinks maybe two face because he is also a guy with two faces but comes across a similar problem of sympathising with the guy (again, morals have been skewed after being dead for so long)

But there is one villain he has no sympathy for. One villain that isn’t just no matter ur morals and to boot, his whole shtick is something Danny hates with a burning passion.

That’s right, Danny picks Joker.

With bosses picked and sidekick roles achieved. The game is on!!!

Later that night sees shenanigans a penalty, a couple jail brakes on Danny’s parts (Joker stops thinking it’s funny after seeing his incompetant new sidekick cheerily runs up to him after the third jail brake) and the bats slowly loading their fucking minds wondering who the hell these kids r, where they came from and how tf does the Joker kid keep escaping????

[theoogtree]

Look at my D&D campaign map that is done and finished and I'm not adding anything else and I don't need to add anything else because it is completed and there's nothing else to add and I'm done with it (nails digging into my palms)

Here's also for free as a bonus the runaway princess and the annoying immortal catboy and the creepy scorpion girl that I drew. They are all in a weird sex thing together. Obviously

[little-miss-fandom-freak]

Honestly, could i have the reader talking with Eric (Creature Commandos) and like, basically telling him that maybe the reason why he's been chasing after bride for 200 years is because she was 'made' for him and he's too scared that if he let's her go he won't find love anywhere else and that he needs to apply himself elsewhere?

sorry if it would be OOC, but I have had this thought in my head for days now and I need to do something about it

also, thank you for all your content, I really appreciate it

I actually LOVE this idea. Look I am a certified Eric hater but I'm a suckered for a good redemption arc. Little note; for the sake of the plot, the reader has the ability to teleport themself and others.

Also that last little bit really tugged at my heart strings a little bit, I'm so glad you like them 🥹

It happened again.

Eric found Bride and is trying to "rekindle their love"; which for some reason, meant extreme violence and brute force. Luckily, you were there to help Bride in her battle against him.

"Why must you fight this, my bride?!" He yelled with anguish as the two if you tried to make a quick escape. Eric had launched himself twords Bride, and he would've gotten a hold of her if it weren't for you quick movements. Eric had grabbed you instead, and in a split second the two of you were gone.

When the two of you arrived at wherever ir was you sent yourself to, Eric threw you off of him.

"What? Where am I? Where is my-"

"ERIC!" You yelled. The silence afterward was deafening. You sighed as you back hit the wall. Sliding down and holding your head in your hands, you looked up at the man. "Do you ever get tired of all this?"

"Tried of what?!" He stopped his foot. 'He's no better than a toddler.' You thought.

"Of chasing after a woman who clearly has no intrest in you!" You snapped.

He scoffed and crossed his arms. "She is very much interested in me! This little game of cat and mouse is all just foreplay for her."

You cringed at his words. "I feel like if she's done nothing but run from you since the day she was created, maybe its a sign thar she doesn't like you."

"But-but she was made for me!" He groaned. "She made to be my bride!"

"Do you not see how terrible that sounds?!" You asked, raising your voice. "Her entire identity is tied to you. She hasn't had a moment of peace, because of you! You have to see how insane you look; chasing after a woman who - despite being made to be with you - DOESNT WANT TO BE WITH YOU!" You sighed. "Why do you keep chasing her?"

Eric just stared at you in disbelief. "Be-Because.... I...." He didn't really know. He slowly made his way twords you, sliding down to the spot next to you. "If the woman who was made to love me, doesn't even love me... then... then will anyone ever will? Am I that unloveable?"

You felt bad now. You couldn't image how he felt; chasing after the same woman for 200 years, one that he was promised would love him, just for her to hate his guts and fight him on sight. What he's been doing still isn't right, but he wasn't given a chance to grow.

Sighing, you placed your hand on his knee. "There's a common phrase for times like this. 'How can you learn to love another, if you can't love yourself'. Maybe that's what you need, a chance to focus on yourself before you find a partner."

"But I've dedicated my entire life to being with her... how am I supposed to just forget about her?"

"You don't have to forget about her, maybe just try redirecting your attention." You thought for a moment. "First, I think you need a friend."

"Ah yes, like Richard Flag!" He said cheerfully.

"Um, maybe not him." You said carefully.

Eric frowned, looking back at his boots in thought. "What about you?"

"Me?" You were taken back by his statement. "Why me?"

"Well, based on the movies and television shows I have seen over the years; a friend is someone who helps you with your woman troubles, and makes you feel better about yourself after a breakup. I have technically broken up with my Bride, and you were here helping me. Is that not what a friends is?"

You weren't quiet sure, in all honesty you only broight him here to give Brude a chancr to get away. But the more you thought about it, the less it seemed like a bad idea. "Okay, sure. I'll be your friend."

A wide smile grew on his face. "Oh how wonderful! We will be like Joey and Pheobe from the television show Friends! Have you see it?"

"I have." You said with a little chuckle. You watched as Eric began to describe his favorite moment between the two characters, but you couldn't help but internally hope that your words actually stuck with him. To you, Eric wasn't a horrible man. He was simply a child trapped in a man's body, a child who wasn't given a chance to learn or grow.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

I hope you enjoyed this and if you have anything you would like me to personally respond to, message me or put it in my ask box because as of right now, Tumblr won't let me respond to comments :)

[iwritethingssometimes]

I'm seeing some posting about a feeling of fishiness about the recently completed US Election.

In the attempt to do something more productive than my last post, I'm gonna do an adhoc examination of how feasible I think a "rigged election" actually is, looking at a few methods that could have been used. So, to start with, what is the actual evidence here?

Most of it is... honestly vibes based, which I get, but don't put a lot of stock in, There was a lot of energy around the Harris campaign, and she had some good polls, but Donald Trump has proved nothing else in the past fucking decade, its that the polls literally do not matter for him, and he can outperform them by a hundred miles.

But. There's also some numbers.

None of this has been verified yet, and I want to make that clear, but this year has largely reported record turnout in a ton of states, especially the swing states, and yet, so far.

The number of votes seems much lower this year.

Not republican votes, not democrat votes, all votes. Hell, third party voting collapsed this year--whatever else you take from this election, this was not a case of the left splitting the vote.

Now, it's true that the vote count hasn't been completed, and it's possible that the numbers will make more sense once that's done. It's also true that the states didn't have quite the same turn-out as last year... but it was only a percentage point or two lower.

Add that to the frequent postings about people having their ballots rejected for... questionable reasons, and.

Well. It starts going from a "the moon is fake!" conspiracy to "Epstein had sex slaves" conspiracy.

But, okay, is it even possible for Trump to have faked the vote like this? People talked about it, but it was mostly in terms of legal challenges trying to overturn a Harris victory, or pulling in the supreme court to decide narrow districts. This, by all accounts, seems to be a straight forward Trump sweep.

So if there is shenanigans afoot, how could he have done it?

There's three feasible(ish) pathways, in my opinion:

Voter suppression and manipulation pre-ballot: Yeah this happened. It's also irrelevant to any possibility that the vote counts were tampered with. Look, this election was flooded with misinformation, legal suits, court cases, and election officials doing everything in their power to fuck with people's right to vote. It was filled with ballot boxes being lit on fire. Elon Musk did a fucking paid vote scheme! Of course there was voter suppression! But there always is, and although it was worse this year than many others, it wouldn't cause any numerical mismatch between turn out and votes, and there's not much that can be done now for this election. Even if someone voted because Musk slipped them $100, no court will ever be able to prove they didn't just happen upon $100 bucks and then voted for Trump.

Voting machines were manipulated: A few hours ago I would have said this was practically impossible, but apparently a bunch of election officials and cyber-security experts were sounding the alarm about this a few months ago, so, uh. That being said, I've seen people claiming that Starlink or whatever hacked voting machines, and no. No, Starlink did not hack voting machines. No one "hacked" voting machines. They weren't connected to the internet, or any wireless communication systems, because anyone with any degree of cybersecurity knowledge will tell you that's how you create an insecure system. Now, it's not impossible, technically speaking, than Elon Musk or fucking Russia managed to hire engineers and somehow bribe enough officals to get access to the machines and install hardware that would allow external access, but in that case we live in a Bond movie and somehow have bigger problems. So, if the voting machines themselves were compromised in any technological way, it would have required direct, physical access, which should be basically impossible, unless...

Ballot officials fucked with the vote This is the one I think is plausible. Basically, in this case, what could have happened is that various election officials at different levels of the process more or less lied about the vote count. This could have happened in a lot of different ways--they could have found reasons to reject mail-in ballots, which several states attempted to make legal, they could have found reasons to reject in-person ballots, which several states attempted to make legal. They could have, if the corruption ran deep enough to make this feasible, just... not counted or reported votes that swung for Harris. They could have, if the election machines work similar to the ones up here in BC, seen the results from the machines, then called the central election office over the phone--because remember, the ballot boxes should not be connected to anything. I don't know. There's a lot of options, and it varies from state to state, because remember, each state runs their own elections, and has their own rules and procedures.

So yeah, three explanations, only one of which is really plausible.

Now, I want to be clear, I don't think this election was fraudulent. Not yet, at least, I need to see actual evidence, or this is nothing more than a theory, but I also want to be clear.

...3 makes sense.

3 would explain why urban areas seemed to be underrepresented in this election, while rural areas surged. 3 would explain a discrepancy between voter turn out and votes counted. 3 would fit the strategy Trump and MAGA loyalists have been describing for the last four years, of infiltrating the election machinery and manipulating it to their own ends.

So I'm not saying it's likely that Trump fucked with the vote, not without evidence. Not yet.

But I will say this looks a hell of a lot more plausible than any claims made in the aftermath of the 2020 election.

[zarkishere]

On the fifth day of Christmas, Zark gave to me...

art + chapter :3

chapter also below

_____ Some jobs go well, others not so much. TW// SLURS. _____ The next morning everyone woke up really early—the sun barely peaked down upon them from behind the mountains and clouds, the birds just starting to sing, the sky still very much a dark blue...yet Ruben was wide awake and heating up some cans by the time everyone had gotten up. He had trouble sleeping��always had, but with strangers that odd fear within him only got stronger. Technically, these people weren’t strangers, but they weren’t close enough for his fears to settle down either. He got up so early he felt like he hadn’t slept at all...but he needed something to do, so while the others slept he had gone out to get more sticks and dead leafs to start up the fire again. That wasn’t easy, given it had rained...most everything was dripping wet, which was unfortunate, but with patience and determination it ended up working. Arthur was the only one to give his thank yous—well, Javier tried, but was promptly ignored. They ate, cleaned their faces with a rag Javier had brought and gotten wet, and hit the road yet again. Thankfully, they had slept only a bit away from town, so by the time they got there the town was buzzing with people. Left and right, people worked and singed, calling others to come over and check out their goods, others argued and...it was just so nice, Ruben looked around with excitement and had to be stopped by the others from running to check stuff out more than once. Of course, daytime isn’t exactly a good time to rob, so Arthur ended up deciding that they should just make time by looking around. Maybe they’d find some other house to rob. Or just something exciting to look at… Mac and Davey left together, to no ones surprise, and Arthur left on his own...leaving Ruben and Javier (once again) set up to be alone in front of some shop where the others had split up.

To Ruben, it felt like some sort of bad joke by life itself, being stuck with this guy.

Javier cleared his throat. “ Entonces...quieres ir a ver algo? “ (So...you wanna check something out?) he asked, looking at Ruben expectantly. Ruben whined and groaned, having a bit of a temper tantrum…to which Javier chuckled at. “ It’s not funny “ Ruben huffed. “ It kind of is, though. “ Javier responded, a slight smile on his lips. “ How? I don’t want to be around you. “ Ruben responded, crossing his arms. Javier stopped smiling, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose. “ Pero porqué? En serio no entiendo qué te he hecho. “ (But why? I really don’t understand what I’ve done to you.)

“ Déjalo, si? Solo déjalo. “ (Leave it alone, alright? Just leave it.) Ruben grumbled, kicking the dirt. “ Pero—ay, dios...actuas como un niño mimado, sabes? “ (But—oh lord...you act like a spoiled brat, you know?) “ Tú eres el problema aquí, yo no! “ (You’re the problem here, not me!) Ruben said, pointing at Javier.

He slapped his hand away, growing more and more frustrated. “ No te he hecho nada, Rubén! Me miras como si te hubiera escupido la cara! “ (I haven’t dont anything to you, Ruben! You look at me as if i had spat on your face!) “ Fue culpa de TÚ gente que—” (It was YOUR peoples fault that--) his voice got cut off as another man approached. “ Can you two greasers cut it out!? Get the hell away from my shop! “ He yelled, practically squaring up to fight them. Javier tightened his fist and quickly looked at him, his face spitting venom, making the man cower without even a few words spoken. “ Listen—your arguing is—uhm...scaring my costumers, alright? Just...go argue somewhere else! “ He said, stuttering and stumbling over his words. Ruben never understood why people got so scared...that face didn’t have that effect on him. Strange. Ruben felt guilty for starting that argument... The two did end up leaving, walking around town with no more words spoken between them. Houses so big and tall, shops, horses, everything seemed so fancy. So clean and pristine. He felt like they didn’t fit in—well, Javier was better dressed than him, so he could get a pass...somewhat….people were still so very rude to them. They went through multiple places; plenty shops, a bar and even a park that was at the center of town. It was gorgeous; plenty trees, places to sit at, a huge water-fountain… “ You wanna toss a coin? “ Javier asked, taking a coin out of his pocket and placing it on the palm of his hand. “ Hm..? oh, sure. Gracias. “ (thanks) He took the coin, their hands briefly touching. Ruben placed it between his hands, closed his eyes and blew air into it before tossing the coin into the water. Javier watched him the whole time, eyes gentle in that special way that made Ruben want to smack it off. “ What did you ask for? “ Javier asked, leaning in ever so slightly, like a secret between them. “ I can’t tell you! If I do, it won’t come true. “ Ruben huffed, leaning away and crossing his arms with a slight pout. Javier chuckled and shook his head, shrugging as he started to walk off again. Ruben watched him for a couple of seconds before going after him. After a while of looking around Javier bought a new necklace—it was very nice, Ruben couldn’t lie—a silver cross with some...rocks..? in it. Javier was the religious type, Ruben had come to learn. He’d watched the man pray before meals a few times, or heard him mumbling other words of devotion at the far corners of camp. It was cute—well, no, not cute. More so...entertaining? No, no, that sounds weird too. It’s...well, it didn’t….well—

Mac smacked him, taking him out of his little mind travel. “ Caralho mano! “ (god-damn, dude!) Ruben yelped, smacking the others hand away, which earned him another smack from Mac. A little harder this time. “ Don’t fockin raise yer hands at me, lad, i’ll snap yer neck like a twig. “ He said, voice low and threatening...did he mean it, though? No idea. Mac could never turn off his ‘scary’ factor. Davey and Arthur were there now, too. Must’ve spaced out...time felt like it flew by.

Ruben pouted, puffing out his cheeks. Mac snorted, rolling his eyes. “ Quit that, doll. “ He said, flicking Ruben’s nose. “ C’mon, let’s go. “ “ Is it time? “ Ruben asked, following behind Mac. He looked up at the sky as the group made their way to the outskirts of town; it was becoming dark, but the clouds had completely left by now. No more rain, it seems. Eventually they all made it out, small talk here and there, but no conversations of real matter...things only got more serious when they sneaked behind the house… It was a quite large home with a stone fence around it, seemingly divided into 2 to 3 levels, standing on a foundation of pink bricks and a blueish roof. There was balcony on the back, and from where Ruben stood he could see a bench or two. The walls of the home consisted of light pink wood with white corner boards. Many windows were strewn around the walls of the house and on top of the building rested a slim chimney, but as there was no smoke it could be guessed no one was inside at the moment… "Alright, here’s the plan," Arthur drawled, taking charge since he was Dutch’s son. "Me, Ruben, and Javier'll hop the wall—'cause we’re the quiet ones. Y’all two go on down and wait for us to unlock it. Once we do, just grab whatever you can. Got it?" “ Can’t Javier go with the other two? “ Ruben asked. “ Wha—what did I do?? “ Javier asked, looking at him confused. “ I thought we were getting along. “ “ Well, no, I still dislike you. “ The other answered with a shrug. “ Pero—” (But—) Javier’s voice was cut off by Arthur’s. “ Just shut up. This is how we’ll be doing things. “ They nodded, and the plan started. The three went up to the fence, scaling it and cautiously walking on it toward the balcony….but once there, they realized it was locked. Since Mac and Davey were waiting on their spot, they had no way to say what was up, so they just had to figure out another way in... “ Who locks balconies?? “ Asked Javier quietly. Arthur sighed, looking around. Eventually, his eyes landed on a window that happened to be open. He poked Ruben’s shoulder. “ Think you could get that? “ He asked. Ruben nodded and took a few steps back, before sprinting forward and jumping for it—BARELY catching the ledge. This job wasn’t going well so far, but Ruben trusted it could be fixed, so he pulled himself up and made his way into the abode; it was even fancier inside, big central stairs, a chandelier...which made him instinctively grimace. He made his way to the balconies door, unlocking it from the inside and flashing Arthur a smile as the other two walked in. “ I’ll go unlock the door for the other two, go gather stuff already. “ He said, and the two Mexicans nodded. The three parted ways as they did their thing. Ruben went to the bathroom first, finding a good bunch of jewels; pretty necklaces, pins and some rings. He placed a silver one around his index finger, admiring it for a few seconds...deciding he’d keep that one for himself. Then, he went to the bed-room, going through the drawers and closets, finding a few stacks of money...everything seemed to be going well—Until Arthur came sprinting into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Although, it was clear he made the effort to make little to no noise.

[fountainpenguin]

Riddle watches New Wish - Post #22

Best of Wish

I enjoy Irep's grit-teethed remark when he mentions Anti-Fairies can't have godkids. He's just like his dad, for real, for real.

If he's this annoyed at the thought of Anti-Fairies not being allowed godkids, that kinda implies he wants one, which is interesting. Godkids were always one of Anti-Cosmo's interests, but never something Foop pursued on purpose or ever expressed interest in.

Please enjoy this cut Anti-Cosmo dialogue from an early script for "Fairly Oddlympics" that I think about constantly:

btw, there are a lot of funny deleted scenes in the old scripts that I love talking about, especially from this one, so if you find anything that catches your eye and post about it, you should @ me because I would enjoy reading your reactions <3

Plot twist - Irep is doing healthy things to work through his "scary godparent for Vicky" trauma while Peri's reaction to Vicky trauma was to cover his ears, hide behind his mom, and sing "La la la, la la la" to pretend she wasn't there.

Peri said his memories of childhood are blurry. I wonder if Irep remembers his childhood better since he was fully able to talk and comprehend things back then.

"Once a fairy quits, any magical being can take their place!"

I mean... Technically yes, but you used to have to sing for it. lol.

The Pixies, who are literally last in line for godkids below all other magical beings (including pegasi, bigfeet, and lake monsters), watching Irep stroll in like: ???

- which imo was implied to be a punishment for their race after H.P. was godparent to some unconfirmed kid I've been headcanoning was Dale for 7 years-

Actually, I like the implication that Irep was so fast to snipe Dev because he's been stalking them since he found out Peri was assigned a godkid.

Irep: Once a fairy quits, any magical being can take their place! Wanda: Peri didn't quit! He was waiting for you to call! Cosmo: He thought you two were on a break! Me: ... ?????? Peri was waiting for Irep to call and take him back? Run that by me again??

... I legitimately cannot tell if they're addressing Dev or Irep. Irep was the last person to speak, but Dev speaks next. Rewinding and listening to the conversation again, I can use my context clues to see they're probably looking at Dev (who is offscreen), but ?? why would you frame it that ambiguously.

Did anyone else get confused here or was that just me?

Also this has done nothing to disprove my previous "Peri is clingy especially where break-ups are concerned" interpretation.

I like how the very first wish Dev makes in this scene isn't for his dad to love him, but for Bev to love him.

How many kids in this class have names that rhyme with Dev and why is he so determined to befriend them all?

?? Okay, so I was previously confused about Dev's friendships because I was pretty sure I remembered him saying in Episode 1 that he and Trev were friends, but we haven't seen them interact at all. I went back and checked, and here's what he says:

"That's Trev! He's my bud, so he probably won't give YOU the time of day."

I wish we got to see him hanging out with Trev. Did they split after Trev didn't come to his sleepover?

- I just checked; I don't see any evidence of Trev at Hazel's. - Hey, did Winn and Jasmine ever find out Hazel lied to them about living in a 5-star hotel? - In conclusion, we are being ROBBED of the Trev-Dev-Bev friend squad.

Looking back, it's very funny that Dev made an effort to introduce Hazel to people when she was the new kid despite that not being his job... including giving some glowing reviews of a few of their classmates, including "This guy's my bud, this person's cool, and I respect this other guy." He wants to talk...

Also, moon is full in New York.

I keep waiting for Irep's music to drop again, but it never does in this scene. It's stressing me out; why did it only drop in THAT scene?

The version I'm watching unfortunately doesn't include credits and I can't find it after a few quick searches, but if Guy Moon did the music for this episode and remembered how he used to do it for Foop and his alt personality when they would do their switch cues 14 years ago, and so when he saw that body language he did it again, I'm gonna lose it.

Surely not... But he had to do it for at least 3 seasons; maybe it just stuck??

I don't see him credited for A New Wish at all on his own IMBD or Wiki page either. idk who did this episode, but I liked it. Hi, I'm the target audience; it's me.

And Irep's still a leftie! Even after putting both hands on the mace handle to smash it down, it goes back to his left when he takes one hand off.

He even does the "sword fight" with his left hand. It's the boy!!!

?? Is Irep's hair both blue (like both his parents') AND black (the color his tuft was in the OG series)?

Are his roots black, but the color eases to dark blue the farther out it grows? That's fantastic!

I like how Peri's hair looks most like his mom's but with a faint slope implying his dad's influence is there, and Irep's hair best parallels his dad's, but he gets his curl from his mom.

Huh. Looks like we've retired the 5 magic colors and now we're just pink poofs and dark blue lightning. Which I'm okay with; I just wasn't paying attention until now. But I know lightning-shaped Anti-Fairy magic was canon in "School of Crock," maybe others.

This does deprive me of my usual 2nd-watch shtick of reading moods based on color. Alas.

I enjoy Hazel rescuing the news reporter, but letting her know that she's a big fan of her work.

Okay, Irep uses his right hand at the last second, but I consider this a win.

I went back and checked frame by frame because I'm a NERD, and funnily enough... It looks like he changes hands after Cosmo blasts him in the left arm. It's hard to tell with the poof cloud, but when you consider the direction he moved (buffeted backwards), that implies it was a left-side hit. It's probably just coincidence, but that's funny.

I like Dev's silly star shades during this scene:

Peri's back!! Old buddies, ol' counterpart pals... I love that teeny-tiny movement Peri makes with his fingers to symbolize air quotes around "quit."

"I never gave two weeks notice~!!"

Also, this definitely belongs in my collection of counterparts using the same body language for opposite moods. idk if we'll see more of that, but it excites me that my stash grows!

I like Peri patting Dev on the head.

"He's still my godkid! :)"

Ooh, snap. Local cousins (once removed) are here to lay down Da Rules, as von Strangles do.

Aw, I like how undoing Dev's cheating means Hazel ends up with the prize shirt. I guess that makes sense; it just wouldn't have been my first thought.

I'm glad adult Irep makes squeaky sounds when you squeeze him. I seem to remember OG Poof making squeaky sounds when he bounced off walls.

Aw, Peri having a happy hug with his parents again! Instead of him feeling like they're overbearing. That's great.

Peri once again proving he's a jealous, clingy ex. I don't think this kid was okay when he was pried away from Timmy and I don't think he took his parents' leaving him on his own for 10k years very well.

I really enjoy Peri's body language throughout this series. All his little twitches and arm rubs and flicking eyes... It says a million words. You could talk forever about him.

I enjoy Dev and Hazel a lot this series, but I think Peri's my favorite. With all his little anxieties and moments he avoids eye contact, you really get the sense that he's working through a lot of baggage.

I like how his instinct was to be honest with his parents and then he immediately regrets it and closes off his body language, avoiding eye contact. He retracts what he said and says something else that he thinks makes him look better. He's got a lot going on.

The fact that he makes this big, decisive head nod as he changes his story to claim he wasn't "jealously spying on Dev" after quitting as his godparent, but he was instead "very normally and confidently passing by" is fantastic. That's... not how people talk in normal conversation, Peri. But I'm glad you're telling me you struggle with confidence issues.

- I think everything I've seen of you supports that. You've been the biggest anxiety ball ever since you got here. - Peri is the guy who'd be on edge wondering if he did something to make everyone mad.

It took me forever to get the above screenshots so I had to keep rewinding, and I have to say... I'm obsessed with that itty-bitty head tilt he does to the left before he goes full right. Idk why it's there, but I like it. It's like a shrug, or like he's thinking through his lie? I enjoy.

Also that teeny-tiny head squirm when he's enjoying the hug with his parents. He's so cute.

Okay, that's pretty messed-up of Peri to laugh with his parents while Dev is in the background really upset. Like, Peri is literally talking about Dev behind his back

-> I wish they'd snuck hints of purple in the background to indicate Peri was there, like a milk carton or pencil or something.

-> I stand by everything I've previously said about Peri not being emotionally mature enough to godparent. His kid needs comfort after a tough experience! Dev just got snapped at and punished by authority and now he's sitting on the ground looking dejected, and Peri's over there giggling!

-> C'mon, man! Hazel clocked on and she's trying to do your job for you. She shouldn't have to do that! (Though it's nice of her to try comforting her friend).

Oop, Dev just yelled at Hazel (again) and Peri did not discourage or discipline him in any way, and tbh... I don't think he even noticed. Because he was laughing and talking about his godkid with his parents. Dude, get your crown in the game.

I love Hazel throwing her prize shirt in Dev's face and shouting that she "hopes it was worth it" <3

I still don't know how to spell O-pairs and at this point, I'm too afraid to ask.

omg, Dev wants to learn about Anti-Fairies. Are we going to get lore and culture? Drama...

PERI, your godkid's running away!! Oh no, he can't hear us... he's got anxiety...

[the-s1lly-corner]

yes that's It! can I ask for varIous creepypastas of your choosIng, wIth the reader usIng the orange peel theory on them? If you want to of course.

Slenderman, Splendorman, Hoodie, Laughing Jack w/ the orange peel test

speed writing this before the nosebleed starts- i can feel it and i am locking in- i can now say ive put my sweat tears AND blood into my writing notes: reader is gn, short post cws: none

SLENDERMAN

it takes him a moment to think about what youve asked for him.. you want him to peel the fruit for you? dont you have hands..?

he does do it after a second before you ask again, the question just took him off guard for a moment

surprisingly, he doesnt peel it as neatly as his brother does, but he still gets the job done without making too much of a mess

passes the fruit into your hand, and waits for you to ask for something else if hes still needed

passes, i think, even if he doesnt understand why you need help with it... im sure he'll get it some day!

SPLENDORMAN

more than happy to do it! peels it off with a claw with little effort, even gets it all off in one go- it looks like a cute ribbon! tosses it into the trash so you dont have to

takes it even further and splits it into individual slices and even picks out the weird thready white bits... unless you like those bits, then he leaves them for you!

asks you if you want him to peel another orange for you- or better yet, are you hungry? he can make something for you thats more filling!

passes with flying colors

HOODIE

give him a moment and he will get to you as soon as he can!

peels it off as neatly as he can and discards the peel himself, you dont have to bother yourself with it

that being said... hes still wearing his gloves when hes doing it... he seems to forget to take them off a lot of the time- these are the same gloves that hes running around with and getting messy in

so... eating the orange after hes peeled it for you might not be the best idea, and you fight back the grimace on your face when you realize that his hands are sticky now too, on top of being covered in god knows what

passes because he does it but good god you need to convince him to take his stuff off around the house

LAUGHING JACK

stretches his arm across the room- remember, clown stuff- and yoinks the orange from your hands... look you dont even need to take the time to walk over to him!

has... never peeled an orange before so hes going to be a little messy... not to mention his claws, which make the entire ordeal even harder

resorts to puncturing the fruit and tearing the peel off, leaving the fruit a mangled dripping mess in his palm as he passes it back to you with a smile on his face- not one of malice for tearing up the fruit, but out of genuine pride that he got it done

passes on the technicality that he did it without resistance and gave it his best shot

[kakerutori]

HEYYYY HANA! It's me olive/livy/ hey you/ that one person that always joins your lives I had a recent interaction with a more toxic mileven shipper but they said something that really did make me think so I want your thoughts in their words they said "mileven has been cannon for 8 years now why would they end it all at once" they had said this in the middle of a debate and it really got my thinking like would the duffers really end a relationship that has been built on for 8 years for byler? Plz lemme know what you think

OMG HI YOU 🤭 I’d be delighted to give my two cents, thanks for coming to me, Olive!!

Ah, yes. The age old argument of ‘why would the Duffers break up Mleven after building them up all this time?’ To which I say - what build up does one truly speak of? Yes, they’ve been canon romantic from season 1 since that kiss, technically, but their relationship only became truly canon since season 3. And yes, the show has been in production for about 8 years, but the show spans only about 3 years (1983-1986). Even then, to say that Mleven has been canon for that long just isn’t true. In total, they’ve only spent about 6 months together physically in canon (the fall, spring, and, summer of 1985 just before season 3 starts), and 6 months together long-distance (the summer, fall, and spring of 1986).

Point is, they’ve not been together as long as it seems. They’ve expressed interest from the start, but even then, on El’s side, it’s pretty debatable to me.

Take this scene where El literally asks Mike, “will you be like my brother?” I think I can just leave that there as it is.

Now, I do understand the notion that they’ve been in writing for 8 years. But guess who else have been? Mike and Will. Their relationship is just as if not more important to each other’s growths as characters, especially in season 4.

If you’re looking for canon relationships, look no further than Mike and Will’s friendship. If you need to see clear pictures of encouragement, understanding, and amendment, look no further than everything they’ve done for each other over the years.

All in all, I believe that just because you aren’t directly in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean that the current chemistry is void and only counts when you do get together.

Byler have chemistry, that’s why I think that they could easily get together. And by contrast, Mleven don’t. Throughout the seasons that Mike and El have been together, it’s been a struggle for them to connect. Whenever they do, it’s shallow. Take the reunion in season 4 - El is lying to Mike about being friends with Angela, and Mike is lying to El through his split focus on Will (when he complains about Will ���rolling [his] eyes,” “moping,” “basically [sabotaging] the whole day”).

Mike is clearly affectionate to El, but he consistently dotes on her looks and never her character beyond her powers. El is clearly affectionate to Mike, too, but it’s clear to me that any time she reaches out to Mike, wrote to him, tried to talk to him in the void, anything, he just couldn’t seem to reach her in return.

Meanwhile, we have Byler promising to go “crazy together.” They sit and listen to each other. Meeting Will is “the best thing that [Mike has] ever done.” Mike thereafter in that scene talks about Will’s persistence. And we know that Will thinks of Mike as a leader, “guiding, inspiring.” Not only are they affectionate to each other, they’re comfortable expressing themselves around each other, highlighting each other’s positive traits, encouraging, supporting, connecting.

Need some people be reminded that filmwork is essential to TV, and so canonically Mike and Will also have many moments together. It’s not like their relationship isn’t known to us in canon (let alone blocked very specifically, too!).

So yeah, to that statement of “Mleven has been canon for 8 years now” so “why would they end it all at once” I say: it’s only been two years maximum in canon, and they’ve been founded on a deteriorating relationship with another much stronger one right in our faces, so no, yeah, Byler is very possible and wouldn’t be sudden in the slightest.

[shinalenecaffeinatedwriter]

I couln't finish it in time because of uni, so I had to split it but...

What would happen if Wukong’s “Mighty Commanders” in JTTW found out about Mk in the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU. (My version of the characters of FFM’s warlords)

For the sake of simplicity, all of them know about MK being Wukong’s student at some extend.

“Mk is our kid”

General Beng

Beng: *Takes a sips of their drink*

Macaque: It was a… recent discovery

Beng: ...You two just added even more baggage to a kid, who has dealt with resentful beings that not only do they not know how to deal with their damage other than try to recreate it in someone else, but also not know the limits of their influence in psyche of a person like him.

Wukong: We know…

Beng: I really hope you help him trough it, reduce it as much as it’s possible, and be there for him, regardless of your relationship, do NOT dump him aside because you think it’s unbearable, he deserve that much. MK. Deserves. Support.

Macaque: We know, and we’re working on… us. We’ll be there for him help, I swear it!

Beng: Then, congratulations on the cub.

Wukong: Not much of a cub, but thank you.

Marshal Liu

Liu: *Shock face*

Wukong: Are you alrigh-

Liu: Ok, Ok! Le- let me recap for a second. You two dance around each other for decades, almost a century of pinning! Then Mac finally decides to courtnap you and BEGS US, the commanders of FFM and Wukong’s trusted advisors, to let him do it without, and I quote, “added complications” from us, which of course we do, because we had been asking you for a Queen, Regent, 2º King; whatever the heck you wanted to call them, since you became King! So, you become official lovers. Yay! You enter the honeymoon phase, reeeaallyyyy cheesy, but manageable. Yay! At some point of dealing with you, lovebirds, the infamous question of “when are you marrying and/or crowning Mac?” begins to rise, and you avoid it like it’s poison for months! Then the attack on Heaven happen, then the imprisonment under the mountain, then the journey, then the fight, and the a ton of other things of which I don’t have the time nor the energy to enumerate! And now you’re telling me this!?

Macaque: I’m aware is a lot to take in bu-

Liu: I’m not done yet, Mihou. So, now I’m asking you, Sun Wukong, Lord of Gold, have you, at least, thought of crowning your cub and his other parent? Or do they stay as a “technically” bastard and a “technically” royal affair in your already dead social image?

Wukong: ...Look I haven’t had the time to search crowns that would fit them

Macaque: You wh-

Liu: SHIHOU!!! WE CROWN YOU WITH A FLOWER CROW!!!

Wukong: My point still stands! They deserve something fancy!

(I'll make a part 2 when uni isn't kicking my ass.

Love you all)

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

Rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Tag as many people as you have wips. People send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, then post a little snippet or tell them something about it!

ohhhh well this is going to be humiliating 😭

first of all. bold of this meme to think i have one single cohesive WIP folder rather than store random progress files in 7 different subfolders in various locations on my computer, and a handful just on my phone. HOWEVER. lets see how many i can track down tonight. second of all as i have stated before i am a CHRONIC writer-not-a-sharer so uhhhhh some of these are true WIPs i intend to finish Someday, some are truly abandoned, some were just character explorations i never even intended to share/post in the first place really. i truly do this for Me and everyone else is an afterthought for the most part, though once i start posting something I am pretty committed to Getting It Done Eventually now.

third of all i am leaving out any fic where i have the entirety shared somewhere. i don't move those to a new 'finished' folder or anything, they just live in the same place i originally saved them forever alongside the WIPs. I am ALSO leaving out the secondary documents any longer work has, which is usually "[original file name] Notes" because I like to use a split-screen approach with an outline/cut sections/random notes on the right and the working document on the left. Where the writing/notes are in just one same document, it's in the list as named.

Fanfiction:

Ascension

AndersJustice

BadThingsHappen

Coffee date

DeathOfClanLavellan

Fade regret prison

Fallout from the Fade

Fallout from the Fade (Doc2)

futility1

Gifts

Grannyquizition

Hawke hurt/comfort

hawke/lavellan convo

Headstones

lucanis

Lucanis character touchstones

Lucanis Lighthouse

Lucanis/Rook boat scenes

Lucanis/Rook lighthouse romance scene

marked up for the crows

MemoryViewing

MythalSolasBurial

NOTES Blackbirds poem

NOTES random/assorted

prompt starts

RyderXReyes

SAM&Ryder

solas poem series

SolasmancyPoem [note: this is not the same one i mention below/actually shared, its a diff concept i didn't use]

SPITE ROOK X LUCANIS INTERUPTION

sten

TrevXCullen

TruthSpellRewrite

[untitled phone note with a big mix of stuff in it]

Vivienne_preWEWH

aaaaaaand then there's the original writing. i am cutting off anything I did before 2017 because god i don't want to think about it

4

AVeryShortPoem

dragonpoem

Fynding

FEMS microbio flash fiction

i could be a wolf for you

love songs to the desert

methylation

NaNoWriMo2017

NaNoWriMo2018

outsiders

ORACLE

pandiculation

PoemsWorkbook

questionnaire

Two weeks to launch

VAULT

honestly i'm sure there's like 30 more original WIPs but it's 2:30am and i can't keep digging so i'm leaving it at the contents of the 3 folders i found first

and then i am putting this down here not as part of the game, but just because i opened the specific folder (and 2 other subfolders within it) and started laughing at the Mess. although it's "finished"/posted so not technically a WIP, this is all my version control documents for Like Teeth Against His Heart which was part of a collaborative zine. so instead of winging it I had my bff beta for me so kept re-saving new copies... I actually have NO IDEA which of these is the REAL final one anymore to be honest. in case any artists out there wondered if the final_FINAL_real.jpg thing also happens to writing: yes.

SolasPoem

SolasPoemdraft2

SolasPoemdraft2_aligned

SolasPoemdraft2_aligned_pages

SolasPoemdraft2_alignedEdits

SolasPoemdraft2_aligned notes complete

SolasPoemdraft2_alignedEdits2

SolasPoem_Final

Jade_Solasmancy_Final

Jade_Solasmancy_Final+Previews

Jade_Solasmancy_FinalNotes

PROPOSED_EDITS_Jade_Solasmancy_FinalNotes

Jade_Solasmancy_FinalNotes_condensed

PROPOSED_EDITS_Jade_Solasmancy_FinalNotes_condensed

jesus christ. anyway. can you tell i'm unmedicated for adhd. well! onward and tagging a random assortment of folks because i can NOT tag 50+ entire people:

@m-m-m-myysurana @anonymous-inquisitor @thebookworm0001 @pikapeppa @sageadvice @bdafic @fourthage

but consider this an open invitation to anyone to share this & tag me in you result, bc i wanna see what people are up to and need more writing friends <3

and thank you for the initial tag @baejax-the-great!!

[wooahaes]

sharpshot

pairing: non-idol!mingyu x gn!reader

genre: fluff.

word count: 0.8k~

warnings: food mentions. reader and mingyu being flirty idiots. mentions of wonwoo getting the flu in the bg but he's not present.

daisy's notes: i hate him (said w heart eyes) !! imagine seeing his cute ass working at a darts booth. id die!

Fuck, why was the guy running the darts booth so handsome?

You had come here yesterday with a group of friends who had never gone to this particular festival before. To be honest, you had a pretty nice time! You won one of them a little stuffed frog since Minghao was rarely in the area for long and you wanted him to have a gift. You split a funnel cake with Soonyoung, who cheekily wiped away the caramel and powdered sugar from the corner of your mouth with a teasing comment about how you’d been distracted by ‘him’ again. Chan had gone on several rides with you when the others didn’t feel like going, happy to take one for the team and keep you company. Other times, Jun had been the one to sit out with you, enjoying a snack with you because you never gave up the chance to have festival foods. 

And now… You had dragged along your two roommates with you. Seungkwan, who read you like a goddamn book after Chan told him what was up, and Seokmin, who knew the fucker. 

“Oh him? That’s Mingyu!” Seokmin had said after Seungkwan pointed him out. “We went to college together. I can introduce you, if you want.”

Technically, Mingyu kind of knew you. He recognized you immediately as ‘the person from yesterday’ and asked about your boyfriend.

“Minghao isn’t my boyfriend,” you said with a little too much force. Fuck. Rewind. Backtrack—

“Oh, he isn’t?” Mingyu leaned against the counter. “Is he?” He nodded toward Seokmin. 

“Roommate,” Seokmin had raised a hand, chuckling. “So is he,” he nodded over toward where Seungkwan was pouting a distance away. You had promised him hot chocolate first, and now you were ‘probably going to chat up Mingyu.’ “They’re single.”

Before you could say anything else, Mingyu chuckled. “Good.” 

Oh, you knew a sign when it was practically neon lights flashing in front of you. You opened your wallet, shoving money into Seokmin’s hand and saying something about getting you a hot chocolate… and to take his time coming back (spoken under your breath where Mingyu hopefully didn’t hear). Seokmin merely chuckled and wished you luck, going back to Seungkwan and walking off with him. Which meant it was you, Mingyu, and whatever unfortunate soul came over to try their luck at the game.

Which, weirdly enough, didn’t work out too badly. 

“My friend usually runs this,” Mingyu told you. “Wonwoo ended up with the flu this week, and since he already had the spot paid for and everything set up… I told him I could do it.” 

Handsome and caring? “That’s sweet of you,” you hummed.

“He said I could keep half of what we have leftover,” he admitted after a moment. “But I would have done it anyway.” 

You leaned against the counter, resting your arms on the metal as you gazed up at him in the trailer. “Why?”

He, too, leaned against it to gaze at you. If he wanted to, he could quite literally kiss you if he just leaned down. “You get to see people happy sometimes,” he said. “Sometimes they’re only getting small prizes,.. But they’re still cute. Like the frog you won yesterday.” 

You hid a bashful smile behind your hand, Right. You chose it because Minghao liked it, but you’d found it cute, too—even though it was one of the smaller prizes. “Can I try again?”

His eyes lit up a little. “Oh?” He stood up. “Sure.”

You slid over the money, and he handed you the five darts before stepping out of the way. “Is it five to win one of the big ones?”

“Only four of the red balloons,” Mingyu said, pointing them out. “It’s supposed to be five, but I like giving them out. Three, if you’re a kid.” 

All you had to do was pop four of the red balloons to get a big one. Gold ones would net you anything smaller, but there were far more of those than there were red ones. You weren’t horrible at darts, to be fair—yesterday you were more distracted by Mingyu than anything else. Today, you had a new goal. Pop! One red balloon burst as your first dart pierced it. Pop! A second…

“Are you some kind of expert?” Mingyu chuckled.

You shrugged. “My friend has a bar. I reign supreme at darts.” 

Another chuckle, warmer than before. Endeared to you. You threw another dart through the air, popping yet another red balloon. And then another, before you looked at Mingyu.

“How many for you to say yes to a date?”

He crossed his arms, leaning against the trailer wall. “Five.” You could see it in his eyes that he was lying. I’d say yes if you asked me outright, though. 

With another pop of a red balloon, Mingyu had already written something down and slid it across to you. “I close up at nine,” he said. “And I haven’t eaten since lunch, so if you want…”

You’d treat him to whatever he wanted as long as you got to see his cute face again after this.

taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @staranghae @synthetickitsune @weird-bookworm

[kurapikasjudgement]

The Bakery

C: Alex Turner X Fem! Reader

W: Angst, Reader is genuinely the sweetest, NO USE OF Y/N, Not beta read

E: A song fic based off of the song The Bakery by Arctic Monkeys (and technically Miles Kane). Song linked at the bottom.

S: You and Alex broke up but for some reason you see each other everywhere until you don’t…

Alex has always had a sweet tooth. There was this local bakery he would visit often. The visits lessened as he grew as a rising musical star. This was the key difference between the two of you. He was in college and paying bills by being a rock star by night while you worked a part time job at said bakery. Since he frequented it often you hit it off. But as his extra time lessened and lessened he began to lose what you two had resulting in an ultimate decision of a split between the two of you. He still misses you though.

After the break up he cut off his visits to the place all together. Until a friend of his who didn’t know about his past with you and the shop invited him to a little gathering between him and his friends. If he recalled correctly, it was during the time where you weren’t on shift so it should’ve been fine.

To both of your amazing luck, you had to pick up an extra shift to make up for a co-worker who had went on a vacation. Meaning you were stuck tending to the needs of the group for the duration of the gathering.

It was awkward to say the least. The friends who did know were nothing but polite to you but decided not to speak on the matter. As for Alex himself he got nervous whenever he was forced to speak to his ex-girlfriend who he definitely wasn’t over.

Throughout the time you exchanged glances and the tension grew more and more. He wanted to have the courage to speak to you but he just couldn’t muster it. And eventually everyone starts to head out from the bakery and he looks at you one last time before following behind everyone else.

***

The next time he saw you was at the post office. You do volunteer work there on Wednesdays and Thursdays (which he has no idea how you have time for). Unfortunately, he has a deadline with the recording company he has to meet and needed to mail something. All of his band mates seem to be conveniently busy right when he needs them so he has no choice but to mail it himself knowing you’ll be there. As soon as he walks in he can smell the faint smell of your perfume and almost wants to take the risk and back out. He doesn’t though.

He walks up to the register and no one is there out first. He taps the bell lightly and you look over to see it’s him. You seem to have a light debate with someone about going up before ultimately walking up to help him. The conversation is nothing but professional and awkward at that. No pleasantries are uttered except a light ‘How is your day?’ ‘Well, you?’ ‘Also well.’ You can’t even seem to meet his dark brown eyes for more than a second.

The interaction is as quick as possible yet still painful for the both of you. He leaves feeling almost worse than he did before, knowing that he had a chance to say something other than boring mail stuff but just didn’t.

***

After his time at the post office he lays in his bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering what he could’ve done instead. After a long while of reflecting he decides to just go for it and talk to you. Tomorrow he’s gonna go to the bakery and talk to you. He’s been craving a slice of your special apple pie anyway.

***

He builds up the courage and walks into the bakery wearing his sky blue lacoste that you used to love so much. Initially, he walks up to the register and sees it’s not you there but another co-worker. Maybe you’re just in the back?

“Hello, welcome in. How may I help you today?”

“This is sort of an odd request but…” He then goes on to ask if you’re there.

“I’m afraid she’s out sick today.” The worker responds kindly. Out sick? You never call out of work even when you are sick! He had to practically beg you to stay home whenever you caught an illness.

“Did you still want to order something or will that be all for today?”

“That’s all. Thanks anyway.” He says politely before walking out of the shop hearing the ding of the bell follow.

As he walks he thinks to himself about your interaction the day before. You were showing no signs of illness, if you were he’s sure he would’ve noticed. Maybe it is an overnight sickness thing? Or maybe he’s just starting to lose you and he can’t even tell if you’re not feeling well anymore. Or what if you’re not even sick and you’re out for some other reason? There’s just no way to tell.

What he does know is that wherever you are, he desperately wants you back.

[senka-mesecine]

First times with the platoon boys? <3

---

― First time? Yeah, it's admittedly probably Chris's first time too, and if not, it might be the second or third at best --- the result of some casual college adventure that's only to be expected at a formative age on campus. What I'm meaning to say, regardless of his skill level, Chris approaches sex like he's a cherry himself in the literal sense, mainly because he's probably not that experienced or well-versed in the matter, so if you're shy, he's shy. If you're learning, he's learning. If you're uncertain the first time around, so is he, irregardless of the fact he's actually slept with someone before and you haven't. Meaning that there's something really sweet about it the first time around. There's less technical mastery involved, for lack of a better descriptor, and more closeness and general intimacy. Being soft and somewhat fidgety and unsure and landing on cuddling and holding each other a lot longer afterwards, once the deed itself is actually done, more so focused on the aftercare than anything else. Man starts out vanilla, at first anyway, what he becomes later is a whole different can of worms entirely.

― Now, O'Neill strikes me as one of those people who's gonna talk the talk and spin a lot of narratives about all the things he's gonna do to you, and my god, you'll see the stars, your back will be blown out, you won't be able to walk straight for weeks after you're hit with that O'Neill dynamite, you'll be ruined for every other cocksucker in the vicinity and a whole new dimension will open up for you, but the first time you actually get down to it, chances are he's entirely different from what he described himself as; no, his dick doesn't, in fact, split the fabric of reality, but it's still good, just not as hilariously unreasonable as he made it sound like to impress you, which, funnily enough, in ways, might just make him more nervous then you --- the virgin. You'll be pleased, but you'll also probably wonder why he embellished himself so much with standards no human being can ever live up to. Just as likely that he'll be beneath you and that you'll take charge of the whole thing yourself and end up enjoying doing just that. None of this ends up being as he advertised. Not bad, just unexpected.

― You know what's to be fully expected, though? Bunny being a madman. He's gonna be a madman if you have fifty bodies under your belt or if you haven't got a single one; chances are, he'll be equally turned on. He'll be rough, he'll bite, he'll bruise you with hickeys, he'll wrestle, he'll say the nastiest things known to mankind, he'll peddle out all the kinks at once, he'll offer to tattoo you with his name mid-sex because after all, he's your first and that sort of thing should be commemorighted and shit. Or was it commemorated? In either case, your first time having sex is simultaneously your second, third, fourth and fifth because he probably doesn't relent or let up for a good while, just running on some sort of manic energy that's hard to explain or replicate. At one point, a camera gets whipped out and he downright starts taking shots...you know, for keeping. Might just take a couple of snaps of those bloodstained, cum-soaked sheets and thighs too, almost as some sort of weird, bizarre trophy. Undoubtedly makes you sign it to like he would a celebrity giving a specialized autograph. He seems overly pleased with himself once you do.

― Rhah Vermucci initially doesn't believe you're a virgin; which serves both as a complement and as something simultaneously derogatory. Because what you don't know is that he is convinced someone as drop dead gorgeous as you must've been through the ringer (and all things considered, men are hungry, vile dogs you probably had at your feet countless times and it's so transparent you'd pretend otherwise) but also because women default to having that Jezebel spirit inside of them, and if a sucker isn't their first, he's definitely only their second, pinkie promise. Not that Rhah's falling for that age-old story! Of course, admittedly, for all his hang ups, the sex is spectacular, maybe helped along precisely by the fact that he dirty talks you into a mixture of guilt and erotic accusations that altercate and shift between praise and degradation; in one breath you're his perfect innocent that he's going to ruin and lead down a dark path and in another breath you're a lying little double-crossing minx he's bringing to orgasm. You're not sure if it was hatesex, worship, being dommed or being serviced, but it was sure an experience.

― For all his shortcomings and haplessness as an army Lieutenant, Wolfe is probably...Jesus Chris, and I can't believe I'll say...but somehow the most normal and stable minded in the overall platoon when it comes to your commonplace sex, furthermore, to first times and it's this precisely his fish-out-of-water characteristic that has his floundering on the battlefield and his failure as an authority figure that makes him the safest bet to lose one's virginity with. Why? Because there's not too many surprises there. What you see is what you get. Ironically, you aren't walking into a wolf's den. In fact, you might find him trying spectacularly regardless, being overly eager to please and unsure if he should let on just how much thought went into this for him. Yeah, there might be roses on some bedside table and he has no clue how those got there. He probably re-traced his steps on how this will happen depending what he figured you liked or wont like. He might tactically have his college sweatshirt on so you can take it off. Maybe he'll slip his pinkie ring finger into your mouth because he's heard that counts as kinky nowadays. Could very well pretend this is a casual occurrence for him purely so he would come off as cool. It's...stupidly endearing.

― -"Shit, how's that even real? Wait, you for real right now!? Really!? Ain' pulling my leg and no nothin'!?"- King might ask, smiling and amazed, already seeing an opportunity and overly pleased about the fact that he is about to get first dibs, unable to comprehend how this could happen to someone who looks like you, talks like you, is sweet like you --- like, hoo boy, you telling him someone didn't scoop you up by now? What are folks on if they ain't scooping you up!? Well, it must be Christmas, because he is absolutely making his move --- and a first time with King? It genuinely might be the most fun, carefree, relaxed, stress-free and easygoing out of the whole bunch, because you'll spend it laughing, hitting the blunt, getting worked over, eaten out, fingered, prepared, fucked, indulging in foreplay, fucked some more, falling into another fit of giggles and getting high some more, yeah. Maybe going for round two or three while you're both at it. Genuinely, somewhere along the way it boils down to something akin to two fuck buddies who just had the most amazing time together and proceeded laying around for hours just reminiscing.

― You know, Elias is hit by that blissed out high when he finds out and his overwhelming instinct is to just entirely corrupt you and have you liking it, meaning that your first time is less of an experience and more of a spiritual epiphany. People say that losing one's virginity doesn't change them in any way that matters, but with Elias, it legitimately does, because you'll be there high as a kite, on your fifth orgasm, having been eaten out, pleased, pleasured, fucked, despoiled, led to new horizons where what your body can do is concerned, whatever sense of shame you either have or didn't have entirely peeling off and you genuinely don't feel like the same person, rather, like a third eye has opened. You probably didn't realize how dangerous Elias was when you first agreed to do this; or, rather when he came to you. Maybe you came to him? In either case, you feel ruined for all other people. Maybe even overwhelmed. Like too much has been given to you too soon and you can't stop smiling. Maybe it's just the weed pipe you've been hitting together, blowing smoke into each other's mouths between rounds. Yes, rounds. You were chaste this morning and now, you're already talking in term of rounds. What happened?

― Don't ask me how, but I think Barnes quietly deduces it and puts two and two together himself; that is, somehow he already goes around figuring you're a virgin and by the time it comes down to it, his intuition and overall reading of you as a person proving to be accurate and contrary to his what his appearance and overall aura might suggest, if he's your first, he comes prepared and is actually almost uncharacteristically and startlingly careful, to the degree he personally could talk you out of getting down with him and finding yourself someone else to do the job even though, genuinely, that's the last thing he wants --- finding he could never trust you with some cocksucker. Not without getting that cocksucker killed; the overly realistic cynic in him mingling with this almost archaic notion that if he's going to break into you he might as well have the responsibility of not being entirely an animal about it, which means for a first time? Yeah, I can imagine Barnes being intentionally focused, hungry and torturously slow, constant eye contact, missionary face to face, body against body involved --- there's something very classically standard, no nonsense and traditional about it, almost like he is zealously convinced this is how it's ought to be for the time being anyway. Everything else? It comes much later. For now, this ended up being hair-raisingly intense.

[paradisecas]

MIDAM ANNIVERSARY MIDAM ANNIVERSARY. i was supposed to have the proposal fic finished by midam anniversary 2023 and wouldnt you know it im STILL not done. but i want to celebrate so here’s the very beginning, which takes place right before last year’s preview.

——

“Miss Plumber says she got married and we can call her Mrs. Jacobs now,” Bunny says over dinner. She tears at her roll a little too violently, mushing butter between her fingers. Adam knows she’ll refuse to use a napkin and that he and Michael will spend half an hour after bathtime wiping greasy smudges off every surface in the house. He mourns the rags he’ll have to wash tomorrow.

“That’s exciting,” Adam says, picking his battles and letting her continue getting all buttery. “Getting married is a big deal.”

Kitty starts to say something, but she’s still chewing her massive bite of spaghetti and Michael, who has a sixth sense for these things, shoots her a warning look. Kitty, of course, takes this warning as an excuse to open her mouth and let the unchewed mass plop onto her plate in her hurry to say, “Tony from my class said his dad got married too and that he doesn’t see his mom a lot anymore ‘cause she married someone else first.”

Michael’s admonishment dies out immediately. Adam actually watches it happen—his grace goes from indignantly disgusted to rapturously curious in a split second. “Oh?” he says, and Adam kicks him under the table.

This is not the time or place to press their child for gossip.

(That’s what the PTA group chat is for, anyway. Someone’s bound to know what went on with David and Amanda.)

“Sometimes things are complicated,” Adam decides to say.

“Very complicated,” Michael says, a little too gleeful, and Adam kicks him again.

“Miss Plumber showed us some pictures,” Bunny starts again, smearing her buttered hands along the tabletop, but Liv starts babbling around her green beans so Adam is forced to tune Bunny out in favor of his youngest. Michael will tell him anything he’s missed.

Her bib patterned with small turtles is stained red, not just from tonight, and Adam tries to add laundry to the to-do list on the fridge through sheer force of will, but. He’s not an archangel. He’ll have to remember to do that later.

When Liv is back to happily gnawing on her dinner, Adam turns back to the table’s conversation, just in time to hear Kitty ask, “Are you married?”

Adam blinks. Michael catches his eye across the table and shrugs with one shoulder.

“We’re not,” Adam says.

“Why?”

“It’s a human thing,” Michael says. “Angels don’t get married.”

“Oh.” Kitty looks down at her plate, almost forlorn. Then, again, “Why?”

“Angels are siblings, ergo we don’t get married,” Michael says, which is simplifying things to a ridiculous degree, but they can cover—that—later. When the girls are older. Much, much older.

Kitty nods. “Right,” she says, going to shove another forkful of spaghetti in her mouth and seemingly thinking better of it. “But you love each other?”

“Of course we do,” Michael says immediately.

It’s a valiant effort, truly, but Adam fails to squash down the smile that takes over. “Of course we do,” he repeats, “but we’re—it’s romantic and exciting, but we don’t need that.”

Because they don’t. It’s been—they’ve been together long enough that technically, probably, they’re considered common law married. Or they would be, if Michael was a human with a social security number and a place in the American census or whatever it takes to get legally married. And it’s not like they need a piece of paper or some rings to hammer in the knowledge that they’re it for each other, for the literal rest of time.

“Why?” Bunny asks, taking her turn in the inquisition.

“Why don’t we need it?” Adam asks. “We love each other. And we love you, and that’s enough.”

Kitty hums around her spaghetti. Liv shoves her sauce covered fingers into her mouth. Bunny hmphs, and says, “You should get married.”

Something flickers inside Adam, then. Not grace—this is different. Closer to what he felt in that diner, mere hours after they fled the tsunami of hell and neither he nor Michael were ready to admit the full truth of what they wanted from each other at the same time as they carefully confessed that they knew they’d figure it out together.

Michael meets his eyes, and Adam thinks he might feel it too: the red-hot flame, somehow gentle as a candle as it roars in an inferno.

Huh. Something to think about, then.

[youcouldmakealife]

LBTE: Jared (122-124)

In which Jared and Bryce think they can interact in public without Gabe figuring out they're married, and Chaz Rossi would like to die.

If you want to follow along, the series page is here.

122. Subterfuge

Jared goes to dinner at Gabe and Stephen’s, and it’s nice. Well, nice might not be the right word — Gabe is totally right about the similarities between Jared and Stephen, and if he makes people feel as nervous that he’s judging them fiercely as he feels nervous that Stephen’s judging him fiercely, he is officially sorry.

Those poor Canucks rookies.

Not sorry enough to stop — he doesn’t even think he’s capable of that —

Those poor, poor Canucks rookies.

It’s nice. Would be even nicer if it was the kind of thing him and Bryce could do together, but he knows Bryce isn’t ready for it, and honestly he’s just happy Bryce is willing to meet Gabe at all, even if it’s not as Jared’s husband.

Like, one, progress, but also: hahaha you guys think you can pull this off.

Wins are hard enough to come by for the Oilers without the salt in the wound of a former player getting the game-winner and the insurance goal.

I would like everyone to enjoy the thought of an absolutely incensed Deslauriers during that game.

Neither of the goals against the Oilers were milestones, technically, but Gabe fished the first puck out of the net anyway, got their trainer Dillon to write ‘1st career goal against the Oilers’ on it

Gabe’s such a good A, truly. Would have done that for any of his guys.

If he isn’t careful he’s going to be grinning wide enough to split his face, and that would probably tip Gabe off.

They STILL think they can pull this off.

“My friend Chaz,” Jared says. “He was my linemate on the Hitmen. And um. Chaz’s teammate Bryce is going to be joining in a bit.”

“Nice to meet you,” Gabe says, and when all the introduction pleasantries are over Chaz gives Jared a completely disgusted look.

The way Jared low-key made it sound like Chaz went ‘hey, is it cool if my friend Bryce comes too?’. Chaz is beside himself. Why did he agree to this. (He did it for the lolz. But now that the day has arrived, he is not, in fact, loling)

They talk Juniors for a bit, Gabe telling them about his time with the Knights. He roomed with the captain of the Panthers, which is kind of crazy.

Hi Jake! And love Jared still low-key fanboying players.

“Hey,” Bryce says when he gets to the table, posture almost as awkward as it is when he’s got a mic in his face. “Jared. Long time no see.”

“Yeah,” Jared says. “Um. Nice to see you again.”

Chaz wants to die.

Dinner’s awkward. Well, he doesn’t think dinner’s actually awkward from Gabe’s perspective, at least he hopes not? But it’s honestly all Jared can do not to text Bryce under the table to meet him in the bathroom so he can just hug him, not even do anything else

The only thing more uncomfortable than third-wheeling a couple eye-fucking is a couple eye-desperately-clinging-to-one-another-for-dear-life-ing.

The only thing holding Chaz together right now is the group chat. Also the fact Gabe CLEARLY has figured it out so every extra moment of this is a shared suffering, as he now has a fourth wheel.

Jared would make a good spy, he thinks.

Oh my god, Jared.

“So,” Jared says, trying to think of something to say that isn’t ‘finish your beer, Gabe’. “Chaz. Known him for years.”

He is squirming in his seat he wants to leave so badly, and he is very red, and his fake casual voice is extremely stilted. Gabe is feeling deeply fond of him right now.

Gabe takes a sip of beer. It isn’t a big enough sip, in Jared’s opinion.

SQUIRMING. And Gabe’s been with Stephen long enough that he might just be taking his time because it’s hilarious.

“You know you can just tell me you’re married, though.”

“I did?” Jared says.

“I mean to Bryce,” Gabe says.

He’s still Gabe, though, so he doesn’t torture him with it too long.

“You’re both wearing wedding rings,” Gabe says. “Like, matching ones.”

“All wedding rings pretty much look the same,” Jared says.

Gabe raises an eyebrow at him.

“And I know he’s from Vancouver, because that always comes up when we play the Flames,” Gabe says. “And I know that you’re living with your mother-in-law right now.”

“That could be a coincidence?” Jared says weakly.

“Also you haven’t stopped looking at each other all night,” Gabe says. “And not glances or anything, that was full on—”

There is deductive reasoning happening here, but even if Gabe hadn’t noticed any of the other things, the eye pining would have done it. It was not subtle.

What’s he going to say? ‘No, he’s not my husband, I actually spent all dinner eye-fucking a dude who isn’t my husband’? That’s objectively much worse than eye-fucking your own husband, which Jared is morally and legally entitled to do.

It is Jared’s RIGHT and his DUTY.

“Um,” Jared tries, but he’s mostly blank. He’s not great at making excuses at the best of times, and definitely not when he’s been called out and has no proper defence on hand. He would, in fact, make a terrible spy.

I do appreciate that after Jared makes objectively absurd statements he’s often the first to acknowledge that they are, in fact, absurd statements. (Sometimes because they’re only occurring in his head, because fuck knows all his friends would burst out laughing if Jared made the mistake of saying ‘I think I’d make a good spy’ out loud)

“Totally get that,” Gabe says. “I’ve uh. I’ve heard some stuff about him—”

Great. Terrific. Jared’s very favourite topic.

“Before you say anything, he was like — all of that was before we got together,” Jared says. “And he was young and — the shit the media says about him—”

Gabe puts his hands up. Which means they’re off his beer, but Jared thinks he’s been given permission to book it, so that’s okay. “I didn’t mean it accusingly. You know your relationship better than anyone else.”

Couple fun things here — including Jared’s continued hawk eye on Gabe’s drinking speed — but yeah, Jared misinterprets Gabe a LOT at the beginning because Gabe is almost TOO nice, and Jared reads into things that aren’t actually meant any way other than Gabe said it? And here’s another incidence of it — if Jared had let Gabe finish his message it was assuring Jared ‘I vaguely read some shit but I don’t put stock in rumours and media and Bryce has a clean slate with me’. Basically.

“Hey Jared?” Gabe asks.

“Yeah?” Jared says.

“Nice,” Gabe says.

Look man this guy is common-law married to Stephen Petersen and longtime-liney married to Dmitry Kurmazov, he has to have a little bit of troll in him.

Gabe shoos him off, and it’s kind of embarrassing, the speed Jared leaves that restaurant.

Gabe describes this as, and I quote, ‘speed-walking like a snowbird in Florida on a grimly determined constitutional’

(If anyone’s unfamiliar with the term: snowbirds are people, generally retirees, from northern climes, especially Canada (especially ESPECIALLY Quebec) and sometimes the Northeastern US, who spend their winters in warmer climates. They fly south for the winter, like migratory birds. Florida is a particularly popular destination for snowbirds.)

A constitutional is walking (to aid one’s constitution). It’s dated as fuck anywhere outside like, Victorian fiction. I love Gabe.

123. Quiet Night In

Jared is vaguely out of breath when he reaches his apartment, which might say something bad about his cardiovascular fitness. Or, more realistically, it says something embarrassing about the speed he made it home, considering he’s fit enough to handle second line minutes in a damn hockey game.

Snow birded the whole way home, but I think the anticipation have something to do with the shortness of breath.

He takes a moment in front of the door, partly trying to find his key — he’s got way too many on his keychain now — but also so he doesn’t barge in looking like a complete idiot, not that he thinks Bryce would mind, or like, even notice.

Jared has finally accepted how rosy Bryce’s glasses are when it comes to him.

“You’re home early,” Bryce says, and glances at Chaz, in a way Jared can totally see is a ‘Jared’s home, get the hell out of our apartment so we can hug and then fuck’ look, though Chaz appears not to notice.

Chaz notices. Chaz is ignoring it, because it is rude to give that look to your guest.

“He sort of figured out we’re married,” Jared says. “Something about the matching wedding rings and you being from Richmond and the fact we wouldn’t stop staring at each other the whole time.”

There was pining. There was yearning.

“He said he won’t tell anyone,” Jared says. He’ll save the addition of ‘and complimented me on my impeccable taste in men’ for when Chaz is gone. Which should be soon.

“Okay,” Bryce says, and glances over at Chaz again.

The looks they’re both giving Chaz right now almost make dinner subtle in comparison.

“Out of my house,” Jared says. “Now.”

“I’m literally putting my shoes on right now,” Chaz says. “What more do you want from me?”

“Put them on in the hall,” Jared says.

Jared is actually the worst.

“I missed this bed,” Jared says.

“You have the same one at my mom’s,” Bryce says.

“It’s not the same,” Jared says.

“Because I’m not in it?” Bryce says.

Well, also because this one just seems to know Jared’s body, but —

“Yeah,” Jared says. “Pretty much.”

Good use of your brain-to-mouth filter, Jared, you should do it more often.

“Gabe,” Bryce says.

“Oh,” Jared says, suddenly wide awake thanks to the rush of absolute mortification that runs through his body. Bryce was a great distraction from it, but he suspects that conversation is going to occasionally leap at him right when he’s falling asleep for like, the rest of his life.

Jared is so lucky it was Gabe that happened with, and not literally any other person, who would torture him with it for life, as is their right and their duty.

“No,” Jared says.

“But,” Bryce says.

“Wait your turn,” Jared says, doing his best to ignore Bryce looking sadly at him through the glass.

“But I missed you,” Bryce says plaintively.

Tragic. Heartbreaking. About to break Jared’s fragile anti-shower sex agenda.

124. Hospitality

“May the best team win tonight, hey?” his dad says. Erin’s in a Canucks jersey — Jared’s genuinely surprised she isn’t wearing his old Oilers one to troll both him and everyone in the arena, mom must have threatened her or something — but his dad isn’t, is wearing one from Jared’s Hitmen era.

Jared eyes him and his very Calgarian jersey. “That sounds mature of you,” he says.

Jared is correct about his sister, and his suspicions about his father are also correct, because they’re a bunch of gremlins.

“Dad’s very mature now, Jared,” Erin says. “He’s grown up a lot since you went to Vancouver.”

I love Erin.

“You want the Flames to win tonight, don’t you?” Jared guesses.

“You’re a lock!” his dad says. “The Canucks are making the postseason no matter what! The Flames need this game!”

“Don,” his mom says.

“I’m just saying that one team needs this game more than the other team does,” his dad mutters.

“You want Bryce to beat me tonight,” Jared says. “Like — just to be clear, you want Bryce to beat me? You want your only son to lose this game to Bryce Marcus. Bryce Marcus.”

“Fuck off,” his dad mutters.

“Don!” his mom says.

Jared can’t stop grinning. “I’m really proud of you, dad,” he says.

Simultaneously character growth and character regression because Don Matheson, everyone.

They look all — familial, Jared guesses? Like Elaine’s officially part of the family now, like there’s a Marcus-Matheson tribe. She’s probably going out with them before the game, sticking around after Jared flies out, staying in his and Bryce’s guest room, her and Bryce going to his parents’ place for dinner, eating his dad’s food while all the Mathesons pretend to be nice people for the length of her visit.

At a certain point is it still pretending, or do the Mathesons become nice people when Elaine’s around?

It’s weird how that makes Jared happier than it does like, left out? But good, he guesses. Like, he’ll probably end up sulking about not getting to stick around and eat his dad’s cooking and watch his family pretend they aren’t evil so that they don’t scare Elaine away, but the fact that they’re doing it even when Jared isn’t there, that they want to hang out is — nice. Nice in the same way seeing pictures of Bryce and Chaz and Ash hanging out together makes Jared feel — grateful it’s happening even if he can’t be there.

Jared feels selfless happiness for others and is confused by it.

They’re all chirping him, but Julius’ text is straight up mean. Jared sends back a mean one of his own, and in response Julius gets even meaner. It’s making Jared feel a little better.

Look at Julius knowing exactly what Jared needs.

miss you already Bryce texts, just after Jared replies to a text from Julius saying he hopes the Canucks make it to the Conference Finals. Which sounds nice, but Jared totally knows he means ‘and so do the Flames so you have to play against your husband, bitch’.

It means exactly that. Though Jared added the ‘bitch’ himself.

Soft, Jared replies, but can’t help but add a You too, because he’s also soft, he guesses. But only for Bryce. Julius is getting another mean text.

The duality of Jared.

“Kind of surprised you didn’t figure it out sooner,” Stephen says. “It was all over hockey news when it happened.”

“I was pretty much just following the Flames and playing my own game back then,” Jared says. “Also I was like, twelve?”

This was the meanest thing Jared could say and he wasn’t even trying.

“You’re a baby,” Stephen says.

“Hey,” Jared says.

“An infant,” Stephen says. “Maybe a toddler.”

“I am not a toddler,” Jared says.

“Kindergarten at most,” Stephen says.

Look how fast Jared’s growing!

“Twenty-one,” Stephen mutters. “Jesus christ.”

“Does it help that Bryce is twenty-four?” Jared asks.

“Does it—” Stephen says. “He’s twenty-four? You met — you were a baby.”

Jared is suddenly aware that it does not help that Bryce is twenty-four.

You would think at some point Jared would learn this, but you would be wrong.

“Do I need to call your mother?” Stephen asks.

“Stephen,” Gabe says.

“I’m calling your mother,” Stephen says. “What’s her number.”

As much as Gabe and Stephen never want Jared to meet their parents? Jared is suddenly just as intent that Stephen never meets his father. He feels like it wouldn’t go well for him.

“Stephen,” Gabe says. “Stop, he looks petrified.”

“I know,” Stephen says. “It’s hilarious.”

Jared can only DREAM of becoming Stephen Petersen one day.

[femmecelworld]

holdover snack for the ‘anointed’ universe / a couple of cool guys series:

helloooooo my beautiful blueberries! (thanks to everyone who commented or submitted a question 💖) I’m going to give y’all something to tide you over until the next meal because I’m not sure when my next story will be done. so from here on out, you’re risking spoilers! beware all ye who enter here, etc

(splitting here just cuz too many long text posts stress me out)

after the conclusion of ‘fairytale’, I know I left things on a bit of a cliffhanger (I have been warning y’all about a romencken divorce, however temporary it might be) so I’ll give you an idea of what’s coming up / some easter eggs you might’ve missed until the next story.

I have said this before on here, but I’m bringing Tabitha back (because I LOVE her and I will not apologize for having correct opinions ♥️) but before you freak out pls remember I said the romencken divorce is temporary. Also, as many of you reflected in your distress in the comments… Mencken is not being a great partner right now or giving Roman what he needs. 1) the premise of their entire situation ofc but 2) Mencken is not capable of the empathy and emotional support Roman needs. He can barely recognize his own flaws and issues, much less support Roman getting help. Roman needs some space so he can heal and focus on himself for a bit. Obviously we are out of canon by now and while one of the great and terrible tenets of a tragedy is how people seem incapable of change or locked into their positions with no way out… I do think the ending of Succession showed that Roman, above anyone else, might be capable of breaking out of that cage. That bittersweet smile about leaving it all behind? He’s going through it right now but he’s clearly wanted a way out for a long time. (see more Tabitha/Roman hc at the end, moving on to other spoilers!)

Roman’s watch. 😈 so i have committed a crime against you all which I will now reveal, because it’s too delicious to wait for the next story:

there is no tracker in Roman’s watch.

yeah. Mencken had it repaired and didn’t replace the tracker. he already has the app in Roman’s phone, he figures, so it’s unnecessary (he’ll have fun figuring that out later). but in his own head, Mencken thinks he’s basically got Roman back and he won’t be needing it anymore with Roman taking a job in the White House and Mencken not traveling as much. So when Mencken gave him the watch back… it wasn’t a trick or a creep move (for once). It was just about wanting Roman to have it 💔

Who was the person on the other end of the phone call? While technically none of your guesses were wrong about who will be returning… it’s Tabitha. He called Tabitha and invited her to London for this NYE party his mother is throwing. (Shiv will be there also)

What’s going to happen, besides Mencken losing it? I know I said spoilers already, but I’m going to try not give away everything. But there’s going to be Roman going to therapy (yay!) and Tabitha gently blackmailing him to be honest in said therapy (FINALLY), Roman thinking over what Caroline said to him, more scenes with Chloe, and also some dark fash stuff with Mencken entering the White House. (and to answer those questions; yes, Mencken will make it into the White House if it’s the last thing he does *ominous music begins*). I’m still toying with what Roman’s going to do, job/life-wise, potentially bringing Matsson back in, and what all of this means for Roman’s relationship with Shiv.

Do you have any of it written yet? I do have some scenes already. Summer ‘23 the first thing I wrote after the scene of Mencken and Roman in the martini bar in ‘after the end of the world’ was him finally having a real conversation with Tabitha. Then there’s some Chloe stuff, some Mencken stuff (where he is predictably so normal and chill), and today I started an Aiden-Dan scene off camera where they discuss their insane boss.

How does Mencken plan to have Roman in the White House, would he live there? Nope! Even Mencken’s audacity wouldn’t extend that far. He is likely envisioning that Roman would be like other senior staff, namely that Roman gets a security clearance and hard pass—this is important because otherwise, Roman would have to sign in and out of visitor logs and go through security every time he comes to the White House. I think we can all imagine why Mencken doesn’t want an official government record (which are also public) of what time Roman’s leaving the White House or how often he visits. That being said, I don’t think even Mencken thinks they’d be able to have sex there on a regular basis, way too many cameras, staff, and security. Not to mention his wife.

But Mencken also genuinely wants Roman as part of his administration. If he thought Roman was only good for sex, he wouldn’t bother buttering him up because they already have that arrangement. If he wanted to pay him off for the Election Night heist or the other things Roman’s done for him, he could give him a cushy ambassadorship to Brazil or Jamaica (most big-time donors are rewarded this way) or put him in charge of some bullshit committee. But Mencken was being honest; he thinks Roman is good at this and he wants him on his team.

Oval Office sex? What do you think I am, some kind of hater? (♥️) Of course there will be kinky Oval Office sex with both of them making gratuitous gross blue dress jokes. Mencken is such a freak; obvi transgressive sex in America’s most sacred room (to republicans) is a must.

What’s going to happen with Mencken and Roman, happy ending? I really don’t want to give away too much, but I think you can all assume how Mencken is going to feel about Roman going back to his ex. So! 🫠

For an ending overall… I’m really torn. Because most of me wants Mr. Fascist to die alone and miserable, just like Ayn Rand. But. Roman loves him. Maybe Roman should get the things he wants, for once. The hazy ending I’m imagining will have everyone (the characters) getting most of what they want if not all.

Will Mencken ever use the ‘L’ word with Roman? Ahh…🥺. So. this exact scene is maybe the third thing I wrote after the finale. I’ll try to answer without spoiling everything… yes and no. He’s been saying it to Roman for a while now. And when this comes up, Mencken addresses it head on. If that helps?

Will Connor start a war with Slovenia? Maybe!

Hope this is enough to soothe y’all for a while! (and fingers crossed it’s not too long)

The rest of my Tabitha/Roman hc:

The other reason for Tabitha returning is 1) she and Roman are still in contact through the end of s4 in the script books. I didn’t know this either until I read them last winter! 2) I just don’t care what people might say, I really think Roman liked her a lot. Like Roman has lesbians beat for U-Hauling speed; he brought her to his sister’s wedding after 4 dates, introduced her to his whole family, and proposed to Tabitha after a MONTH of knowing her. And while she says no, they’re living together when s2 opens. Also… I know this is controversial, sorry! but 2) both the sex things with Gerri happen directly after he fails to consummate a physical relationship with Tabitha. LOOK I also think he loved Gerri, but I just can’t believe he didn’t care about Tabitha, and probably loved her. Roman is kind of a love slut. And 3) let’s contrast his relationship with Grace and his relationship with Tabitha: Grace calls him a cheater at family thanksgiving and purposefully shows the kids the movie that (maybe?) ended his tenure in LA—and Roman dumps her. Not great, but did it have to be a dealbreaker? Whereas Tabitha calls them EUNUCH BESTIES in front of his father, which for Roman was almost bad as the dick pic debacle—and he doesn’t dump her or even appear to be angry with her. This man is in love with her.

I also believe it’s mutual. Tabitha seems very laissez faire and unbothered about life in general, I don’t think that’s an indication of her feelings about Roman. And here’s my biggest piece of evidence: does anyone think Tabitha isn’t doing whatever she wants all the time? If she didn’t want to be with Roman, she would have left. The tenderness in her voice when she says, “I am not uninterested in figuring you out,” 🥺♥️♥️. I think Roman’s refusal to communicate about any of his issues when she kept asking him to just got to be too much for her. But if Roman called her and was like, hey you were right, um, wanna hang out? I can see her giving him another shot.

So! Tabitha’s coming back. However, Tabitha’s not a doormat. While she’s clearly a kinky person without a lot of hangups (re: her entire introduction)... we’ll see how far that extends to the Mencken situation 👀 Because Mencken is not letting his man go without a fight.