#Talk Like a Pirate Day Gen

[dustbon]

Cor's first expedition to the Jungle 2/2

feat. Bel Cuore, who tagged along. It was a day full of dirt, avocados, bugs and insects. We couldn't reach the temple, but at least Cordelia got a sweet batch of dirt lumps and artifacts to sell.

Legally. We're selling them legally.

[catbountry]

Remember when May the 4th being Star Wars Day was just this little internet thing and not used as a vehicle to push a bunch of Star Wars merch that only makes sense to wear one day of the year?

... I do. Barely.

At least International Talk Like a Pirate Day will remain untainted because it is the dorkiest, least cool internet holiday ever and I imagine most zoomers don't even know it exists.

[marinehero]

oh i was NOT expecting them to say it outright

[crocodilenjoyer]

op fic recs...2!

g

feed your plants a little sunlight by swordsmans | ambiguous setting, post-timeskip | zolu | 4.2k | complete

Instead of napping, Zoro helps. It is his job, after all.

Trochilus by stealth-black-leg | ambiguous setting, post-wano | gen, robin & crocodile-centric | 2.5k | complete

The trochilus, sometimes called the crocodile bird, is a legendary bird which was supposed to have enjoyed a symbiotic relationship with the Nile crocodile.

how to talk without speaking by swordsmans | post-shells town through pre-baratie | gen straw hats, luffy-centric | 6.9k | complete

In the beginning, Luffy does not know how to read. In the grand scheme of things, this does not matter.

Little Monsters by blue_wonderer | post-wano | gen, straw hats-centric | 7.7k | complete

Vinsmoke breathes out, a smirk on his swollen, bloody face.

“Our captain is here.”

Or

Post-Wano, some lucky (or not-so-lucky) Marines capture the still-injured Sanji and Usopp. Naturally, the rest of the crew casually rips the world apart to get them back. One lone warship never stood a chance.

The Many Marriages of the Straw Hat Pirates by LadyCrimsonAndBlack | across canon, pre- and post-timeskip | gen, straw hats-centric | 2.9k | complete

There are a lot of strange traditions to be found on the Grand Line. Sometimes, the Straw Hats get caught up in them.

(Or: The Straw Hats get married to each other. Repeatedly.)

so much like stars by blue_wonderer | post-dressrosa, pre-zou | zolu, pre-zolawlu | 12.1k | complete

“Why are you the way you are?” Law asks, gesturing to Zoro and Luffy in their entirety. “You look pathetic.”

“Luffy fell in,” Zoro shrugs. Law thinks he may be the only person in the world who can convey both “Luffy fell in, he’s such a fucking idiot” and “Luffy fell in, what else was I supposed to do but follow?” in one line.

“I’m very sorry.” Luffy reaches up and pats Zoro on the chest.

“You’re a terrible liar.”

Luffy wheezes a short laugh. “I like swimming with Zoro.”

“Shut up, you little shit.”

“How about you both shut up and let me work,” Law grouses.

OR

Stargazing and snow, festivals and dreams, and the quiet change in the dynamic between Law, Luffy, and Zoro during a few cold nights on the way to Zou.

t

Seabound by AnkhPosts | au; canon timeline n/a | deuceace | 8k | complete

Ace is a selkie, making one of his periodic stops on land to catch a breather and get some ridiculously tasty human food, maybe see some sights if there are any. His pelt is safely hidden, he'll stay a day or two at most and be on his way.

Deuce is a mer, alone on the sea and traveling as he pleases for the first time in his life, and while he might not be terribly interested in actually interacting with humans it's hard not to see them as fascinating.

Ace meets Deuce. Deuce meets Ace. Neither knows the other isn't human.

The Jester whose nickname is Fate by stealth-black-leg | pre-canon | dragodile | 2.5k | complete

Crocodile believes in luck, gambling, coincidence, but not fate. He believes in free will, and that every person can choose any future they’d like for themselves, if they’re strong enough to build it.

He didn’t choose this for himself though, and if there indeed is a fate, then Fate, pardon his French, is a fucking little bitch.

By Any Other Name by ginger_snappin | au with information from wci | sanlu | 10k | complete

Sanji should stop doing this.

He recalls Lucy’s earnest smiles, the insatiable physicality of him. The tugging Sanji can feel in his gut toward his friend, an urge to follow him blindly that Sanji cannot resist.

He thinks of Lucy’s full fat stomach after a meal, sated, the murmured, “thanks for the food,” and the mismatched HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY that Lucy’s soul exclaims whenever those warm brown eyes meet his own blue ones.

Sanji cannot stop.

-

A young king comes to power, and his hungry suitors follow… even the reluctant ones.

You've Got A Friend In Me by Hazel_Athena | post-timeskip, pre-egghead | zosan, perona & zoro | 19.1k | complete

Zoro grunts, likely because she hits him with more force than either of them are expecting, and then returns her surprise with one of his own by wrapping his arms around her and hugging her back.

“They hurt you?” He murmurs, and she shakes her head.

“Nothing I couldn’t handle.” She insists, although which of them she’s trying to reassure, she isn’t certain.

Interim Arrangements by Hazel_Athena | au, post-wano | zosan | 43k | complete

It’s so quiet in the war room that you could hear a pin drop. Not a single person dares to say a word - not even the favored princes - and all eyes remain fixed on the head of the table, where a large figure sits hunched over in its chair, clutching the latest newsreel between two massive fists.

Having been forewarned of some of the contents of said newsreel, Sanji does his best to keep anything from showing on his face, to maintain his expression in an implacable facade. He thinks he largely succeeds in controlling himself outwardly, but inwardly his gut is churning with emotion.

The newsreel twitches, and the five people not holding the paper sit up a little straighter in their seats, each of them bracing for impact without actually meaning to as slowly, oh so slowly, the paper is lowered down until it’s resting flat on the table.

“Well,” Judge says, his mouth working like he wants to spit. “This is certainly an … unexpected development.”

Stakes by CaptainJojo | post-wano | gen, luffy & zoro | 4.2k | complete

Zoro has a good grasp of what fights are- and are not- worth his time.

Or: Zoro gets lost and gets in one (1) fight about it.

(The real fight begins in chapter 2 but I'm leaving 1 in because I wrote it so it gets posted and that's the rule)

lion-skinned by kurgaya | ambiguous setting, post-timeskip | zolu | 10.6k | complete

If there was ever a reason to eat a Devil Fruit, Zoro supposes it would be in the process of saving his idiotic buffoon of a captain from a certain and most horrible death.

Familiar by NothingSoDivine | pre-canon | smoker/benn beckman | 1k | complete

"You look familiar."

The stranger chuckles. The sound warms Smoker down to his boots. "I get that a lot."

Years before being stationed in Roguetown, Smoker runs into a familiar face in a bar on the Grand Line. Unfortunately, Smoker can't quite place where he's seen the guy before...

A Little Assurance by nocturneequuis | ambiguous setting, post-timeskip | frobin | 1.1k | complete

Robin wonders how much further Franky will take himself. When does the man end and the machine begin?

e

Arctic Birds by LibbyLune | pre-canon with information from water 7 | mihawk/iceburg | 15k | complete

“Oh yeah, you want Water 7,” Shanks declares, kicking the hull of Mihawk’s small sailboat with a careless boot. “Sailing around in this piece of crap doesn’t suit the World’s Greatest Swordsman, Hawksy.”

Mihawk is a man of high standards, but the expert shipbuilding is not the only feature of Water 7 that he ends up impressed by.

The Onigiri Story by leghair | post-alabasta through the end of wano | zosan | 40.1k | complete

It had been bad enough trapped on a boat with Zoro, body and face and voice sending Sanji's imagination racing, bitter-knowing he was straight as his swords and half as sharp. So Sanji had ignored the attraction - maybe allowed himself a greedy little peek now and then, but he’d never let it become a problem. He’d never let it become anything. He'd known that's how things were going to stay and he was fine with it, he had been dealing with it, this wasn't his fault. It's not like he'd ever wanted Zoro to know.

A canonverse getting-together fic with lots of porn, some plot, and plenty of feelings, following the progression of their relationship and the canon events that impact it. A couple of common zosan tropes get flipped, there's a smidge of angst for good measure, but with a very happy ending.

Finally updated post-Wano and WCI!

nr

Chasing Flowers by taizi | probably g or t | ambiguous setting, post-timeskip | gen straw hats | 4.7k | complete

"It's an old tradition in our town; on the second week of the second month of the year, you leave flowers for the one you love, for them to follow back to you. By their house, where they work, nooks and corners that are special secrets between just the two of you."

(Luffy's crew leaves him flowers, and an old innkeeper gets drawn into the chase.)

Clinical Practice by taizi | probably t | ambiguous setting, post time-skip | chopper-centric | 2.4k | complete

"I'm his doctor!" Chopper all but shrieked, closer to hysterical than he'd ever been- because in four days time those people could really have hurt Luffy, and he was so tired of being treated like a kid. "I'm his doctor, and I'm going to find him right now!"

Inanition by taizi | probably g | ambiguous setting, post-timeskip | gen straw hats | 1.9k | complete

in·a·ni·tion, noun; lack of mental or spiritual vigor and enthusiasm; exhaustion caused by lack of nourishment.

(In which Luffy's metabolism is faster than his doctor understands.)

[owlight]

My request: kid, law, marco and robin (only if you are comfortable writting female characters) reacting at gn reader (non devil fruit user) saving them from drowning. hope you have a nice day, you are very talented!

Thanks for requesting 😔🫶

I do females Characters , specially robin cuz she my wife actually 🤭💖 and lmao this reminded me of that one time when I almost drowned ngl

Tags:drowning situation pretty much, Suggestive language with kid cuz he built that way,fluff mostly , ignore mistakes plz

GN!Reader saving Eustass kid,Trafalgar law,Marco,Nico Robin from drowning

Eustass Kid

He only drowned because his ass refuse to back from any challenge or fight ,which how he now end up sinking to the water with an angry pout and arms crossed,he is that stubborn and would spend his last moments as a stubborn idiot

someone challenged him to jump to the water and his ass is petty so he did it without any thought to the fact he can't swim

But Gladly! You dive in fast the moment he end up in the water and grab him tightly,good thing water make him weightless or you would have drowned trying to get him out

" and ugh..you are so heavy" you tells him as you pull him back to the safety of the shores ,kid scowl at you " you are just weak pipesqueak" you look at him as you swim ,you are tempted to leave him to drown for a moment,but in the back of your mind you can see killer masked face telling you not to do that because you would regret it later... ,you sighs,the price you pay for love...

He would not be thankful that you saved him, cuz you are his partner and Part of his crew , it's like your official duty to help from drowning cuz killer can't do it anymore :(

He Would suggest you do CPR on his dick instead of his mouth once he gained enough oxygen going through his Brain,you drop him on the sand so hard you hear a loud 'thump!'

You're literally the life guard of the kid pirates , it's almost funny that you have to drag kid out the water everytime his problematic ass fall into water

He get into these situations a lot ,you suggested once that he add floaty on his outfit since he always be falling into water,he threw a wrench at you but missed and it hit killer right at his helmet

He is very grateful for you secretly, he would never let you know but when he see you swimming toward him to save him? You look like an Angel and he is so thankful that you always willing to get into water to save him

He tries to be careful more (doesn't work) but it's the thoughts that count

He say the dumbest most inappropriate CPR jokes every time,you sometimes tempted to throw him back in water but he is already so heavy (nd you love him)

7.4/10 saving experience, should have let him struggle bit more in water ,maybe the water would have washes all the salty attitude off him someday (?)

Law

This happens rarely really,he is very careful and usually use his devil fruit to avoid falling Into open water like that

But he once was very unlucky and fell off the submarine ship deck after a strong wave hit the ship ,one moment he was standing talking to you,the other moment he in the water sinking down the water ,he tries his best to hold his breath..last thing he see is a blurry figure pulling him up from the deep water

"I got you.. I got you" you says as you pull him out the water to the deck,you start performing CPR till he is coughing,he blink few times as he sees you above him, looking at him with worried eyes that melt to a smile "here you are lovebug ,good to have you awake" you tells him and law cheeks suddenly feel heated,he remove his wet hat off his head and sits down "thank you (y/n)-ya" law says as he looks at you with a little rare smile

"not a problem,that was a strong wave ,we should probably get into the submarine,might be a storm coming" you tells him as you pick up his hat and help him stands up,law can't help but looks at you adoringly...he loves you so much

He so thankful after that,not outloud but by the way he caress your face gently and smiles at you,a real genuine smile,rare sight only meant to his special people and you are so lucky you're one of them

He is more careful than everyone on this list ,so it won't happen often or again,he usually have fast reflexes to not get in that situation,it only happened then cuz he was so smitten by you(so cheesy ngl)

He will be thankful for a very long time,will go bit more easy on you ,no one would notice but you really ,it's wholesome

He give you extra cuddle every night from that day, cuz you his hero now,look at you getting spoiled rotten by him,so lucky

He appreciates you lot,thank you for loving and handling this stoic and secret nerd, he loves you so much just wait till he is no longer a flustered mess when getting affection from you

He really wanted to say that cheesy dumb CPR joke..he want to so bad,but he know you won't ever recover from hearing him says that..so he wait till perfect chance..

10/10 good saving experience

Marco

One moment he was standing watching the beautiful sea , then suddenly a strong wave hit and he was too slow to use his devil fruit to fly away,he hold his breath as much as he possibly can,he can't help but feel helpless,what an embarrassing way to die...he fought in many battles,yet a strong wave is what took him out...

He feel bit dizzy at the lack of oxygen and he hopes that's the others weren't taken by the wave as well,he would feel bad if they too ended up a victim of this unfortunate event,he start chocking on water that start entering his lungs and it burn like hell,he wonder if you would forgive him for Begin so careless-he did not have the time to think more before he sees you swimming to grab him so tightly, looking very determined,Marco slightly smile as he let himself pass out,he hope that the CPR he taught you would be enough to pull him through this

"......And you are awake finely!" Your voice says as Marco slowly open his eyes and coughs the salty water "ah...sorry,was enjoying my nap" Marco jokes and he can see you shaking your head "not funny..Next time no standing near open water when you know it might be storming" you scold him and he laughs as he sits up "promise you that yoi, don't worry" he ruffles your hair "thank you for saving me" he tells you and you smiles "oh no problem! Just know you own me a dinner for giving me the scare of a lifetime!" You says playfully and Marco can't help but love you a bit more

He is 100% thankful for your help

He doesn't drown or get into water often so you don't have to Worry about this happening again

usually he is the one saving you from almost falling into water so it's a nice change of pace

He would make a CPR joke later on when the situation is long forgotten to make you squirm a bit

He will make sure to get you your favorite snack later as a thanks for saving him because he loves you

11/10 saving experience,very polite birdman

Robin

How unfortunate,robin thought as the Battle between the strawhats and the Marines got bit too harsh and a Canon hit where she was standing sending her flying into the ocean water,she could say she lived a long life at least and died trying to protect her friends...she wonder if you would keep her collection of books safe after her untimely death-

Then suddenly,She is begin pulled out the water fast by someone and by the way she is held so tightly,she know it's You who had jumped to save her,she is slowly losing consciousness,but she smiles slightly as she trust she is in good hands now

"wake up damn it!-i can't lose you like this" your voice says as you continue preforming CPR on her,she open her eyes and cough the sea water she had swallowed earlier "thanks god robin-i was so worried" you tells her as you embrace her tightly,she can see that You are on the Sunny and it seem like the strawhats had managed to escape the Marines clutch which is good..you look not injured which is good,robin take a deep breath before embracing you back Gently " I apologies, I'm okay , don't worry my dear,thank you for saving me" she mumble softly as she hug you tighter "don't thank me...just..next time be careful okay? I almost had a heart attack seeing you fall into the water'' you scold lightly and that cause Robin to chuckles "I promise to be careful next time" she tells you with a gentle smile across her face

She is very grateful that you've saved her life,you always got her back even when she says she doesn't need help,you still offer to help her and watch her back ,so she is very grateful for that

She would thank you by begin extra affectionate with you for the rest of that day ,which you appreciate it a lot (Sanji is eating his hand as he envy you)

She doesn't usually end up in these situations,she usually able to get herself out of water by using her devil fruit ,so you don't have to worry about her much

Though ever since if the devil fruit strawhats needed to move through water,she would pick you as the person to help her across

She appreciates your help always,and she loves you a bit more ever since you've saved her from drowning

She kiss you later after that lot , thanks kisses she would call them playfully

13/10 saving experience ,she is the best

(This been in my drafts since months sorry for the lateness bbg)

[whisker-biscuit]

Sonic Big Bang 2024

Close Encounters of the Grim Kind

Rating: Gen

Summary: Sonic did end up telling his friends about the Shatterverse, but it’s clear to Tails that he's still hiding something. In an effort to find answers and with Shadow’s reluctant help, he uses the Paradox Prism to create a device capable of jumping dimensions. When he sends it out, however, what was meant to be a one-way trip returns to him with a cryptic greeting from a stranger who seems interested in researching the dimensions with him.

Now, Tails finds himself trying to solve two mysteries - why Sonic is acting so weird around him, and who this unorthodox, anonymous cross-dimensional pen pal really is.

It's a lot harder than it looks.

--------------------------------------------

Chapter 1

The day Sonic finally told his friends about the Shatterverse and all that entailed within it, Tails had no idea how significant it would truly end up being.

He, his brother, Amy, and Knuckles were gathered together at the beach. The fox was in the pilot seat of the plane, adjusting some of the inner controls, while everyone else lounged about. They all listened with rapt attention as Sonic described the disaster that would have happened had he smashed into the Paradox Prism – the disaster that had already happened, if events were to be believed.

Frankly, it wasn’t very hard to go along with the idea. Weirder stuff went on in their lives at least twice a year; dimensional and/or timeline shenanigans sounded like par for the course.

“A bunch of miniature dimensions, huh?” Tails drummed his fingers against his screwdriver, thinking about the logistics of such a thing. Alternate universes were an aspect of quantum physics that he’d never delved very deep in.

“Yep! There was a pirate dimension, a jungle dimension, and even a dimension with five Eggmans!” Sonic shuddered and stuck out his tongue. “I always thought ours was bad enough, but then I met an Eggman baby. That’s one memory I’ll never be able to get rid of.”

“Did you kick the Eggman baby’s butt?”

“Knuckles!” Amy scolded.

“What?” The echidna asked defensively. “It’s a valid question! If that version of Eggman was still evil, then I don’t see why you wouldn’t also teach him a lesson.”

“Oh, trust me, he was definitely evil. Kicking his butt was extremely satisfying.”

Knuckles folded his arms with a self-satisfied smirk he tossed Amy’s way. She huffed and rolled her eyes, gesturing for Sonic to continue his story.

“There weren’t just other versions of Eggman, though,” he said with an excited gleam in his eye. “Every dimension I visited had new versions of you guys! Even Rouge and Big and Froggy!”

“Ooh, really?” Amy clasped her hands together. “What were we all like?”

“Well, the pirate versions of you all talked with these funny accents and were on a ship’s crew together. Knuckles was your captain but he was a big bonehead.”

“Hey!”

Tails smiled, going back to the wiring in the Tornado as he listened to the hedgehog tell them all about this strange new adventure that he’d found himself in. One eye he kept on his work, the other he kept on Sonic to show he was still paying attention, tuned into the rhythm of his brother’s storytelling just as much as the words themselves – and that was the only reason he caught the stumble.

Sonic was in the process of telling them how the Chaos Council had put the entire Shatterverse in jeopardy by punching holes between dimensions using shards of the Paradox Prism, and that he, Shadow, and an alternate version of Tails had stolen the shards back and were planning to put the prism back together. Then he paused, very briefly, and sheepishly admitted that they were unsuccessful before the Council had caught up.

That pause had been barely half a second long, but for the hedgehog it might as well have been a full minute. Tails stopped working as Knuckles began teasing Sonic for letting any version of Eggman be faster than him. He watched his brother carefully, noting the tension in his quills that the fox could only see from his place in the cockpit above. To the others, it seemed like Sonic was embarrassed about his failure, but Tails knew that wasn’t what it was.

Embarrassment was fidgeting in place and wanting to change the subject immediately. It was not standing rigidly with fingers twitching like they wanted to curl into fists, nor was it too-loud laughter at the ribbing his friends were giving him.

The fox quietly placed his tools in his lap and turned his full attention onto his brother.

When the teasing finally stopped and Sonic got back to the rest of his story, it felt different than before. More pauses, shorter descriptions of events, and vague answers to questions about how the Shatterverse was saved from ripping itself apart. The hedgehog’s expression was tight with sadness as he told them of the goodbyes he’d shared with all the different versions of his friends before he and Shadow found their way back to Green Hill.

“Don’t get me wrong, I was so excited to see you guys again – the real yous instead of those weird ghost holograms – but I also knew it was a permanent goodbye for them. All those different versions of you…they were still their own people, with their own goals and dreams and lives. I got to know each of them, and it was hard to walk away knowing I’d never see any of them again.”

“It’s not like you to dwell on goodbyes,” Amy said gently.

“I know. I just…” Sonic glanced up at Tails, then looked away immediately before their gazes could properly meet. The fox narrowed his eyes in confusion. “It was really bittersweet, in the end. I wish you all could have met each other.”

As Amy pondered over what her “sisters” might have been like and Knuckles pointedly declared that the other hims would have probably just gotten on his nerves, Tails’ namesakes curled around each other in a slow mimic of his flying movements. It seemed like the hedgehog was simply melancholy over the loss of his new friends, but it still felt…off. Like there was something he hadn’t told them, or even something that Tails had missed, that was obscuring the whole picture of his experience.

He briefly considered asking Sonic outright when they were alone later, then immediately nixed the idea. His brother was open about nearly everything right up until he suddenly wasn’t, and then pulling information from him was just as hard as convincing Knuckles to part with the Master Emerald for more than a week.

“Do you think the other dimensions are still out there even though you put the Paradox Prism back together?”

Everyone fell silent as they all looked up at the fox. Sonic’s mouth pulled sideways like he wasn’t sure how to answer.

“I mean, I assumed they are. Don’t really like thinking of the alternative.”

“I’m sure they are!” Amy was quick to reassure. “You can’t just unmake a bunch of worlds once they exist, right? And you said it yourself, Sonic – the Shatterverse collapsing only happened because the Eggmen misused the Prism Shards. All you did was make them whole again.”

Tails tapped the end of his screwdriver twice against the Tornado’s steering wheel. An idea was starting to develop in his mind, formed from a swirl of thoughts and his admittedly shallow knowledge of Quantum Physics. He kept it to himself, however, as he continued to study his brother’s body language and the tension still present there.

Just a few days later, that particular tension was gone from Sonic but the idea was still firmly in the fox’s head. He took every physics book he had that touched the subject, plus several that were “liberated” from one of Eggman’s laboratory libraries, and began researching. It didn’t take very long for him to conclude that no matter what theories he read about, or potential blueprints he began to draw up, he wasn’t going to make it very far on speculation alone.

If this idea was to become tangible, then he needed the Paradox Prism. And achieving that, Tails remembered with a grimace, would be more difficult than any mathematics he puzzled through.

He could only hope that its keeper would be in a good mood.

-------------------------------------------------

Contrary to popular belief, Shadow was not particularly difficult to find. He was a creature of habit, much like Sonic. The real issue was that those habits tended to seem erratic at best and completely nonsensical at worst to anyone who didn’t know them well. To the average person, Sonic was flighty and never settled down in one place for long, and Shadow just couldn’t be found to begin with.

But Tails was not an average person, and he had a lot of experience in tracking down speedy hedgehogs.

There was a large waterfall in Green Hill that overlooked an even larger lake. It cascaded constantly down from a giant cliffside that was difficult to climb and get down from. Sonic avoided the area entirely unless absolutely necessary, but Tails loved to practice his aerial maneuvers there. It was for those three reasons – his many visits, the general seclusion, and the consistent lack of Sonic – that the fox knew how much Shadow preferred the place, too.

It was here that he looked for the black hedgehog first. He started at the base of the cliff, shielding his eyes against the sun as he peered up past the waterfall while lake water lapped just a few inches short of his shoes. After a minute or so of squinting and scanning, Tails caught sight of a dark figure standing at the very top of the cliff, arms folded and looking out at the scenery.

Excited, the fox began to fly up towards him, making his presence known as obviously as possible so Shadow knew he wanted to talk. He felt the moment those piercing red eyes snapped over to him. The fur on the back of his neck prickled by instincts honed from years of Eggman battles before settling down immediately afterward, recognizing the gaze as non-threatening.

That didn’t mean the hedgehog was happy to see him, though. Irritation was visible in every line of his face when Tails touched down a few feet away from him.

“Is Sonic with you?” Shadow asked, in a tone of voice that suggested he was going to teleport at the first syllable of a ‘yes.’

“No, he doesn’t know I’m here. I wanted to talk to you about something.”

One black-furred eyebrow rose in mild surprise. He tilted his head the tiniest bit forward to acknowledge he was listening.

Tails took a deep breath and took the plunge without wasting another second. “I know you have the Paradox Prism. I was hoping to run some tests –”

“No.”

The answer came so strong and curt that it made Tails’ mouth click shut before he even registered what was said. He blinked, caught off guard by both the reaction and the way Shadow’s entire body seemed to tense. It almost looked like he thought the fox was going to attack him, which was as bizarre an assessment to make as the realization that Shadow saw him as a viable threat.

“Why not?” He asked, thoroughly confused. “I didn’t even tell you what kind of tests I’d be conducting.”

“It doesn’t matter what kind; the answer remains the same. The Paradox Prism isn’t something to be tampered with.”

Tails resisted the urge to let out a huff. “I’m not going to tamper with it. I just want to learn more about those other dimensions Sonic was talking about.”

“Then ask him about them and stop wasting my time.”

The hedgehog turned on his heel and began walking away. The hum of his hover shoes coming to life threatened only a few seconds left before he disappeared entirely. Tails knew his one and only chance was slipping out of his grasp.

He didn’t think; what came out of his mouth next was pure panic.

“I think something’s wrong with Sonic!”

Shadow froze mid-step. The fox blinked and then suddenly they were an inch apart. That unreadable glare seemed twice as potent now as it searched his face for any kind of deception.

“…Elaborate,” the hedgehog finally said in a quiet yet uncompromising demand.

“W-Well, he told us about the Shatterverse, and you guys trying to get home, but I feel like he’s…omitting things?” Tails paused, thinking over the last week or so. “He’s been clingier, too. He wants to hang out with everyone more than usual. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him plan so many get-togethers before now.”

Bringing everyone together had usually been Amy’s or Tails’ idea, and Sonic always popped in at the last minute or stumbled into the group in the middle of a run. Now, he was asking them all to hang out so often that Knuckles had threatened to slug him if he didn’t leave him alone for at least a day.

“And then, yesterday…he got really upset when he couldn’t find me.”

Tails remembered it vividly. He’d made an impromptu trip to the nearest junkyard in search of parts for his idea, forgetting to leave a note for potential visitors because of how short the excursion was, and had come back to his workshop in disarray and one agitated hedgehog looking ready to tear down the walls in search of him. His brother had grabbed him in a tight hug without any words, visibly shaking, and had stayed with him in the workshop for hours afterward. There hadn’t been any explanation; Sonic had remained tight-lipped in embarrassment and so Tails had assumed it had to do with the brief loss of his friends during his Shatterverse adventure.

But putting that odd encounter alongside the clinginess and simultaneous avoidance now, it was starting to paint a much more concerning picture. The fox wanted to kick himself for not connecting the dots sooner. Hyper-fixating on a new invention was no excuse.

Shadow was still watching him. Tails took a deep breath and spread his hands out in an honest, pleading gesture.

“I’m just really worried about him. I think there’s stuff he’s not telling me, and I don’t know how to approach him about it.”

“What makes you think studying the Paradox Prism will help with that?” The hedgehog’s voice was flat but no longer as harsh. He had a funny look in his eye that was impossible to place.

“I want to figure out whether those other dimensions are still out there. If they are, I think it will perk Sonic up. But the only way I’ll know for sure is with the Prism’s help.”

Silence floated between them for a long time. Tails swallowed the urge to continue making his case, and instead waited as patiently as he could for Shadow to come to a decision. A myriad of emotions flitted across the other’s face, all small and fleeting and unreadable.

“…Fine. I’ll let you look at it.”

“Really?” The fox gasped, excited, but Shadow held up a hand before he could say anything else.

“On three conditions. One: that I’m present the entire time you’re with it. Two: that you do exactly what you told me you want to do and nothing more. No using it to power machines unless it’s explicitly for finding other dimensions, no tampering with it or trying to break it apart, and no additional investigations. I don’t care how fascinated you are with it.”

“Okay, I can do all of that. What’s the third condition?”

“That you don’t involve Sonic in your studies.”

Tails frowned. “Why would I involve –”

“Agree to all the terms, Fox, or you’re not seeing a hint of that crystal.”

“I agree!” He replied, quick as he could before the hedgehog changed his mind. “You’ll be with me the whole time, I won’t mess with it, and Sonic stays out of the process.”

“Good.”

With the deal struck, Shadow nodded once before walking off again. The fox watched him, uncertain, until he threw a glance over his shoulder.

“Are you coming or not?”

Tails didn’t need to be asked twice.

-------------------------------------------------

And so, two hours later, they were both back in Tails’ workshop with the Paradox Prism floating innocently in the middle of a containment chamber. Shadow leaned against the closed garage door – which he had demanded stay locked while they were working – eating out of the can of raw coffee beans he’d requested when Tails had offered food. It would have been quite the sight if he wasn’t already used to the bizarre black hole of a stomach that belonged to his brother.

Maybe liking weird food was just a hedgehog thing.

The fox, meanwhile, was in the middle of making complex calculations as he studied the Prism, adjusting for energy levels and power output with every spike that appeared on his scanner. He was quickly realizing that developing technology that could reliably run on this energy was going to be a careful balancing act; it fluctuated sporadically in seemingly indecipherable patterns, and every sudden jump was volatile at best, downright dangerous at worst.

If not for all his research into chaos energy, handling the Prism would’ve been infinitely harder. Their properties weren’t all too dissimilar, now that the thought crossed his mind, and it took a lot of willpower not to get sidetracked by that line of theorizing. The promise he’d made to Shadow was one he intended to keep no matter how painful it was for his scientific mind to ignore every other possibility.

“What are you doing now?”

The hedgehog’s question broke the melody of furious pencil scribbling. It was a common occurrence while Tails worked; he barely even glanced up when he answered.

“I think I’ve finally isolated the most benign wavelengths of energy the Paradox Prism is giving off. Using that, I can power the interdimensional device without risk of it exploding.”

“What is this interdimensional device for?” Shadow asked, suddenly right behind him.

Tails absolutely did not jump, but the grip on his pencil went tight as he pulled back from his blueprints a bit to blink owlishly at his suspicious companion. “I told you already – it’s to determine whether those miniature dimensions still exist.”

“How is it going to do that, exactly?”

The fox resisted a great urge to sigh. “It’s just going to be a probe. If prism energy is capable of making things jump between dimensions like Sonic said, then even a tiny amount will make my invention cross the theoretical inter-dimensional barrier and hopefully tell me what’s out there.”

“Hmph.” Shadow’s eyes darted across the schematics laid out on the table. It was hard to tell how much of it he understood, but Tails had a feeling it was more than most people usually could. “Remember: only for this function.”

“Loud and clear, sir,” he mumbled with a roll of his eyes before he could stop himself. The hedgehog’s glare sharpened considerably, but he went back to his place against the door to finish off his coffee beans without another word.

Now that Tails had successfully found a safe power source from the Prism, it was time to actually build the device that would make use of it. He wasted no time getting to work – grabbing scrap metal and wiring and as many tools as he could carry, then starting the process of putting together his newest invention piece by piece. Just like with anything powered by the chaos emeralds, the probe couldn’t simply be built and then pumped full of Prism energy. Every aspect and every addition had to be tested for durability. If it could channel its power source without issue, then he moved onto the next section and repeated the testing process. If it couldn’t, then he had to rework his calculations completely until it wasn’t at risk of frying from a single jolt of energy.

A tedious endeavor, but one he enjoyed wholeheartedly just for the way it occupied his mind. The fact that success meant a new, fully-functional invention was just the icing on the cake.

When at long last the fox was satisfied that his interdimensional probe wouldn’t blow up the moment he turned it on, he swiveled in his chair to hold it up triumphantly. Shadow, to his credit, had not made another sound nor moved a single inch through the hours it had taken to complete the device. He peered at it with a mix of curiosity and wariness.

“Are you going to send it out, now?”

“Yeah, but first…”

Tails turned it around in his hands to reveal a tiny screen and keyboard on one side, pulled straight from Knuckles’ most recently-busted flip phone. He typed in a string of code and watched with a satisfied snicker as a message appeared on the screen in response.

– Hello Worlds! –

“What is the purpose of that?”

“Tech joke.” He placed a solid metal cover over the keyboard, but left the screen visible. “I doubt anyone is going to find this, because it’s supposed to only travel through the space between dimensions, not actually visit them, but it’s funny to think about.”

“Hm.”

If Sonic were here, he probably would have told Shadow to lighten up. Tails, on the other hand, was much more aware of the precarious state of their arrangement, so he didn’t do that.

Was definitely thinking it, though.

Before turning the device on, the fox double checked that its connection to the Miles Electric was strong and secure. Sending it out without a way to relay information back would have been a silly mistake to make. Confident that there was nothing else to be done, he flipped the single switch on its underside, and they both watched as it hovered out of his hands for a few seconds before disappearing in a flash of rainbow light.

Shadow eyed the spot where it had just been, expression tight, then lifted the Paradox Prism’s container with ease. “Keep me informed on what you find. I’m…curious, as well.”

“Okay.”

Their gazes locked for one brief moment before the hedgehog also disappeared with his charge – in a green flash instead. Tails let out a long exhale. He was exhausted but in a good way, like running a marathon and beating your best time.

He checked the Miles Electric. Nothing yet. That was to be expected; interdimensional travel was probably not as instantaneous as Sonic made it out to be. All he had to do was wait.

So, he waited. And waited.

And waited.

A week passed with no signal. Not a single, shallow blip on his radar to show that the probe had survived its attempt at escaping the barriers between their dimension and whatever lay beyond. Disappointed but not entirely surprised over the possible failure, the fox stopped checking for it as often. Every hour dropped to a few times a day; a few times a day dropped to only once per day. As yet another week began creeping by with nothing to show for it, he finally took the Miles Electric off his desk and put it away to make room for other, more pressing projects.

The device might have ended up a bust, but that didn’t mean there weren’t other ways to confirm the existence of the Shatterverse. Tails began sketching up tentative ideas for his continued research. He didn’t have any Prism energy left to work with, though, and Shadow probably wasn’t going to be as generous if he asked for help again. The power to cross dimensions was going to be the biggest hurdle.

Just as he was debating whether chaos energy would work as a potential substitute, there was a sudden flash of rainbow light to his left. The fox startled, whirled around with his hands up in preparation for a fight – and stopped.

Stared.

There was his device, hovering in the air. Tails’ ears twitched as the Miles Electric suddenly let loose a muffled cacophony of sounds from within the desk drawer; the familiar, loud pings that meant a probe had been successfully connected to. Stunned and unable to think of doing anything else, he slowly reached out to stop its hovering and hold it instead.

From the way he had grabbed it, the little digital screen was visible. Tails looked down at the message and felt his heart skip a beat.

[ hello stranger ]

-------------------------------------------------

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A/N: Several months ago I joined the Sonic Big Bang event, and today is the culmination of that event where we flood the fandom with fics and art! We are Sonic Fans and we cannot be stopped lol. Expect a chapter release every day until the fic is finished!

The fantastic artists paired with my fic are @currantlee, @phantom-howl, and @dewdropdraws. I'll link their artwork when it's all posted, please please check them out cause they're all wonderful! Thanks so much to @sthbigbang for hosting this and letting me participate! I had a blast!

[whoishotteranimepolls]

You are aware that Ace and Sabo are brothers. That ship is incest. It would be best if you took it down because of how problematic that is

Warning, this turned into a rant

They are adopted/sworn brothers, so the ship is not technically incest.

If that ship bothers you, several One Piece ships should bother you in between adopted brothers or sworn brothers, but I have seen zero complaints. This includes Buggy/Shanks, those two were raised as brothers as far as we know, and Marco/Ace, who became sworn brothers. Remember, Ace joined The Whitebeard Pirates, AKA the Sons of Whitebeard. They all are sworn brothers. So let's please be coherent in your hypocrisy

Isn't this Tumblr? I can't be that old because I remember the heyday of Superwholock. The two most popular Supernatural ships were Destiel and WinCest. Remember, they were so popular that the Supernatural show even addressed this in its meta episodes. What the hell happened? And I remember the Ouran High School Host Club speech where the twins said the whole appeal behind them is when you have two attractive guys who struggle between their attraction and their friendship. Plus, because they're twins, it makes their relationship taboo so even more intriguing. So they were hyper-aware of what they were doing with their whole queerbating/twincest thing, and Tumblr ate that crap up.

It's one of those things where it's fiction, so it's not real, so it's okay because no actual person is being harmed by whatever problematic content is portrayed in whatever fictional media. I personally have zero problems with the most problematic content. But that doesn't include all problematic content. I do have lines when it comes to child characters and lollies. That's why there are rules on my blog. But I can also separate fantasy from reality, and if you can't, you probably need to talk to someone about that because that's a problem.

Again, seriously, what the hell happened to the fandom culture on Tumblr? Why are the moral purity police everywhere? I joined fandoms and Tumblr to escape the oppressive Bible thumpers that I grew up around. Why am I now encountering more oppressive moral policing online from fandom idiots than I do from the Church Karens in real life? I live in the conservative Bible Belt. Those Church Karens are everywhere and in everyone's business

Sorry for my rant. I am tired, and I'm still trying to figure out what the hell happened. I've been on Tumblr on and off since 2010, and I feel like I hardly recognize this community anymore. Now, I have been made aware of the anti-shippers/ anti-fandom movement, and I know it's not just a minor thing because this is something I have found multiple academic research papers on. I'll link a good one. But I pray it's something else cuz these are just kids who don't know better at the moment. I hope one day they will realize this behavior is the equivalent of the Boomers blaming all of the Gen Z and Millennial behaviors. They don't like on violent video games. Again, sorry for the rant

[olderthannetfic]

/724781513472868352 I resonate with this on a deep level. I get told at college all the time that I don't look LGBT+ (they refuse to say queer, respectability politics is a helleva drug), I don't act it, no queer person is into my major or my hobbies, and it's weird that I'm queer but not into astrology or dressing more aesthetically ("are you a cottagecore or a dark academia gay?" I'm neither I'm a me) or playing Pokemon because outgrowing Pokemon is for cishets. People talk about gays/LGBT+ not being able to drive or do math or sit normally and then act like I'm some kind of ridiculous weirdo for not laughing at what they assure me is a true statement that does not apply to them or to me. People encourage me to experiment with my style or hair and "come out of your shell". I am informed I need to listen to certain musicians because all LGBT+ people are into them. It's weird that I'm not. It's even weirder I don't like The Owl House or hate Steven Universe or keep up with Heartstopper like the good queers do.

Basically it all boils down to, "Why can't you be more normal? Why can't you be like us?"

Because I'm not. My dad is a Pashtun Muslim and my mother is a Bukharan Jew. I have lived in the Deep South half my life and Wyoming the other half. My media interests are unrelated to queer rep and wholly based on liking the plots of things. I grew up on oldies and TV shows like Starsky and Hutch that my parents loved, pirated and played on repeat. I don't believe in astrology, I'm not a witch and I'm not an atheist with a Christocentric worldview who assumes all religions are Christianity Lite. I don't listen to the correct musicians mostly because I discover music entirely by accident and have a mishmash of genres and bands in rotation. Pokemon fell off and I'm not into it. I would sooner die than dye my Pashtun red hair that people made fun of me for as a kid. I like wearing button downs, clean shirts, nice jeans and my Magen David. None of this is incompatible with being queer. No one is going to kick me out of a gay club for not having played Pokemon Violet or listening to Tracy Chapman or trusting in science over crystals for healing.

And I really hate that after years of being avoided and pitied in high school by jackass backwards rednecks for being weird, I got to my dream university, the university in the most liberal city in Montana, and get the same fucking treatment.

Commenters like the one anon mentioned remind me of all the people who act like I'm doing it wrong. What is 'it', in that sentence? Living my life. Being queer. And when it crops in fandom - and I've gotten it sometimes for writing queer characters who are like me, Southern and into uncool shit and not sharp dressers and religious - it just makes me want to start screaming.

I am queer. I am not incorrectly queer. I am who I am and therefore, because I am queer, that is a correct way to do queerness.

Some gripes about Gen Z are overblown but this weirdly narrow view of what queerness is allowed to look like or be is 100% as awful as other generations say it is and it's fucking exhausting to live through. I don't have to sit differently in order to be doing queerness right or be unable to drive. I exist and I am queer and that is all I need to do and be.

I wish fandom was different from real life. I wish it was more open to the reality that queer people have a multitude of backgrounds and lived experiences. We're facing enough shit IRL, can't we just have one place where we're NICE to each other?

--

As a 40+ queer, I'm laughing myself sick at the current crop of "required" queer interests.

In my day, it was oldschool cis gay male culture for the men (think being obsessed with Bette Davis) and But I'm a Cheerleader and Dykes to Watch Out For for the women or something.

Not that you have to like any of those things either. It's just hilarious how clueless people are about what's a temporary trend that will probably be different in 5 years.

[noproofread]

Fake Boyfriend

got this spontaneous idea last night while watching one piece ofc

@fanaticsnail encouraged me to do it asap so i did :)

Zoro x gn!reader

reader is getting harassed and hit on by a creep and zoro swoops in for the rescue, mentions of alcohol and drinking bc it's a bar.

word count: 1,102

zoro smut fic here

masterlist here

You were sitting alone in front of the bar. Staring at your drink, nursing it. Admittingly, you could have been paying attention to your surroundings a little more, perhaps you would have seen the man staring at you from across the bar. But between the blaring music and the loud chatter of the other patrons, your only focus was your drink. It wasn’t like you to go to a bar alone. Usually, you would be with your crew or at least with a guy you found interesting. Today was different though, you had a rough day and fought with a member of your crew so you figured you’d drink your sorrows away. Remembering your day, you downed your drink, grimacing as the bitter taste of vodka slid down your tongue into your throat. It was that action that prompted the man who had been staring at you to take the open seat next to you. You ignored him, asking the bartender for another drink. You felt a light tap on your shoulder and you turned around to face the man that had occupied the seat next to you. His face flushed from the amount of alcohol he had to drink, he wobbled slightly on the seat.

“What’s a pretty thing like you doing drinking all alone?” he slurred. The strong scent of liquor hit your nose and you rolled your eyes, trying your best to ignore him. “None of your business.” You replied, hoping your direct rejection would deter him. It failed. He kept uttering compliments, observations on how well you could hold your liquor, trying to get your attention by offering to buy you drinks. You refused his advances, ordering your own drinks in front of him. Usually you wouldn’t turn down a free drink, but you weren’t in the mood to entertain creepy drunk men. Growing restless, the man became more and more aggressive with his words. Not insulting you or threatening you, just calling you an “uptight bitch” and how he “liked brats that needed to be taught a lesson.” His comments grew increasingly sexual and more disgusting, you found it harder to simply ignore him but you didn’t want to start anything at the bar. After all, you were a wanted criminal, a pirate and you were supposed to lay low. You ordered another drink, chugging it before turning to the man. “Leave me alone for fuck’s sake. Can’t you take a hint? I’m not interested.” You told him through gritted teeth.

Maybe if you paid more attention to your surroundings you would have noticed the green-haired man watching the situation unfold in front of him. He watched as the man kept trying to hit on you, peppering in aggressive compliments as you continued to turn him down. He wasn’t one to insert himself into a situation that had nothing to do with him. Instead, he got up from his seat and walked closer to the bar. He was ordering another cup of sake when he heard you tell the man to leave you alone. He smiled to himself hearing you be so direct. He turned in the direction of you and the man just in time to watch him grab your arm tightly. “I’m not asking sweetheart. A little shit like you needs to be taught a lesson!” he yelled, pulling your arm closer to him causing you to nearly fall out of your stool. The situation did not concern the green-haired man but he always hated men like him. He asked for a second cup of sake. As soon as that cup of sake arrived, he grabbed both and made his way to you.

“Everything alright?” He asked you while looking at the man who had you in his grip. “Hey man, I’m just talking to this sweet thing. Don’t interrupt us.” He spat. The green-haired man turned to you and offered you a cup of sake “Sorry I’m late, I got a little lost on the way. Got you some sake though. Is this shithead bothering you?” His voice was stoic yet gentle. You looked at him and smiled, deciding to play along in case the creep would leave you alone. You yanked your arm away from the creep’s hand and grabbed the cup of sake being extended to you. “Took you long enough. He was bothering me but I’m sure he’s just leaving” You glared at the creep. Unfortunately he was too drunk to think clearly. Perhaps if he wasn’t so intoxicated he would have recognized the green-haired man as Roronoa Zoro of the Straw Hat Pirates. “I’m not going anywhere sweetheart. I have business with you.” He slurred, looking over at Zoro and laughing. “If you want trouble, you got it buddy.” He stood, wobbling a little before attempting to throw a punch which Zoro dodged easily. Zoro smirked, leaning over and briefly flashing the three swords at his side. “I’d get out of here if I were you.” he stated. He placed one hand on his swords as he spoke “Kind of pathetic to hit on someone who has a boyfriend” His voice was monotone and still intimidating,

The creep sucked his teeth, walking away as he muttered insults towards both of you. You looked up at the man that helped you and sighed. “Thank you. I tried ignoring him but he just wasn’t getting it.” He sat in the now open seat next to you, drinking his sake quickly. “How about you thank me by buying me a drink? After all, I did save your ass.” He said in that same stoic tone from before, yet there was humor in his words. You chuckled and ordered two cups of sake, handing one over to him. He took it from you, and smiled. “I’m Zoro by the way.” He said before taking a swig of the alcoholic drink. “I know. I’ve seen your wanted poster.” You laughed, taking a drink yourself. You found yourself forgetting about the reason you went out drinking alone in the first place. Focusing instead on Zoro’s company as you exchange stories and drinks. By the time the barkeep announces that they’re closing for the night, you realized how much time you’ve spent talking to Zoro. You get up, slightly tipsy. “I have to go back to my crew but it was nice meeting you Roronoa Zoro.” you have a small slur in your words, making Zoro chuckle a bit. “I’ll walk you to where you need to go, we can’t have that creep coming back for you.” He says as you both walk out of the bar.

[dustbon]

✅ Complete a temple*

*The original rules say four, but short lifespan said no. So one it is :D

[cinamun]

I have so much respect and admiration for legacy players, I truly do. Because took my ass 6 entire human years to get to gen 3 lmfao!

Anyway!!! I present to you all, the non-theatrical version of events:

after a quick embrace in the kitchen (autonomously and with Lullaby at their feet), Jayce initiated the "try for baby interaction" except it was "try for new pirate" because it was talk like a pirate day and I really need to delete that damn holiday because I can't understand it sometimes.... I digress.

much less intense than the theatrical version and at least they made the bed after!

that's all folks! don't forget to stay tuned though. You don't want to miss Mercy's reaction, Darren and the twins' reaction and Indya's new title (spoiler: you won't be calling Mrs. Indya Drake no damn granny, I know that much).

[lostfirefly]

don't believe me 🤣 i love writing about Cathie and Buggy, but somehow i missed the list of the themes.. well...

one mistake leads to nsfw, just a hint and the scene isn't described

Bugust. Day 5 (Buggy x OC). Outfit Swap

"Where are you, cotton candy?"

"I'm coming, don't grumble. I've only been gone half an hour." Catherine walked into the bedroom, drying her hair with a towel. "God, the bath was so good. Are you still alive, my Buggy the Oct--Why are you looking at me like that?" She imitated his not happy face.

"This is my t-shirt, Catherine. Again." Buggy looked at her instantly.

"I don't care. I love wearing your t-shirts. You're tall and strong, and I'm small and skinny. So your shirts are perfect for me." Catherine stood on tiptoe, reached up to the top shelf for a book, and noticed Buggy tilting his head. "Hey, don't peek, clown!"

"You're doing this on purpose. You like mocking me, right?"

"I'm not doing anything, I was choosing a book." Catherine took a book from the shelf and sank to her feet. "I want to reread Treasure Island. Thanks for buying it for me, by the way." She ran her hand over the cover. "But this's my favorite book."

"You did this again, little shit." Buggy groaned and grabbed his head.

"I did what? I was talking about the book."

"Nooo! You're standing there in my t-shirt, without fucking pajama pants with ducks or zebras. By the way, where are they? And your shoulder is bare. Why are you doing this to me? What did I do to you?" Buggy kept his eyes on Catherine.

"I'm not wearing pants because it's so hot today. If I want, I can wear your pajama pants too. And who would even talk to me about mocking? You're sitting on the bed without a shirt. Put on my t-shirt at the end of the day and get revenge in this weird way."

"To wear your stupid animal t-shirts? Especially yesterday's one with the koala eating popcorn. No, no, no!" Buggy crossed his arms. "And admit it, you're looking at me, and you like what you see." He winked at her.

Catherine covered half of her face with a book and squinted. "I hate you. Better bring me some wine, please."

"Hah, I already brought it." Buggy pointed at her nightstand. "See? I'm learning." He said it with a proud look.

Catherine glanced where he was pointing and saw the glass of white wine. "Thank you!!" She tiptoed to the bed, kissed him on the nose, and lay down under the covers. "You're my best." Catherine pressed her back against Buggy's chest and opened the book. "Look." She started reading quietly. "Squire Trelawney, Dr. Livesey, and the rest of these gentlemen having asked me to write down the whole particulars about Treasure Island, from the beginning to the end.. Amazing, right? Pirates, treasures, adventures. This story somehow reminds me of you."

"Why?" Buggy rested his chin on her shoulder and looked at the pages, then at Catherine and then at pages again.

"I don't know, you have a spirit of adventure. You easily agreed to our first trip, then the second. You were in prison, they give a lot of money for you somewhere and in gen--" Catherine felt Buggy's lips on her neck. "What are you doing?"

"I'm doing nothing, it's all your fault. Sitting in my t-shirt, with bare shoulder."

"Stop it." Catherine laughed. "I have half-wet hair and the book in my hands."

"So what? You're smart and sexy." Buggy lowered his lips to her shoulders.

"I think you just wanna change the subject." Catherine pushed his head away from hers slightly. "Stop it!"

"Blame yourself and my shirt, Catherine Mitchell." Buggy ran his fingers down her neck and began to remove the book with his other hand.

"What about Black Dog?" Catherine whispered softly.

"You'll read about him.. or she.. whatever.. later, cotton candy." Buggy put his hand on her leg.

"No. Please. Pirates.. Treasures." Catherine tried to grab the book, but her hands went limp. "Damn you, campfire night. And damn you, Buggy the Clown."

She threw the book aside and Buggy immediately, with a light movement, pushed her onto the bed.

"I told you not to touch my fucking shirts." He kissed her on her lips. "And by the way, write down the points in your favorite fucking notebook." He said in a low, husky voice. "Your dudes from the book get - 0, Buggy the Clown - 1."

"I hate you with all my heart." Catherine sighed and began to take off her shirt.

[ceasarslegion]

i would LOVE to hear about ur bootleg dvd ring you ran in school wtf- ur teachers are lame thats the coolest thing for a kid to do LOL

Well to be fair, piracy and especially selling pirated dvds is very much still illegal so I understand why they slapped me on the wrist for that lmao. It would've been on their asses if I wasn't caught by them

I've talked about how my parents are quite young in the past but as a rehash, my mom had me at 19 because I was an accident and my dad is younger than her and met her later, meaning my dad is only 13 years older than me. This means my parents are very tech savvy and know how computers work because they're younger gen xers. Before the days of Netflix whatever we wanted to watch that wasn't on TV or we had on DVD my parents would either pirate onto a flash drive or burn onto a blank disk depending on if we wanted to keep it or not.

When I got old enough to go into the computer room mostly alone (which is a very dated sentence) my dad taught me how to pirate movies and music off of limewire and burn them to blank disks or upload to my mp3 player or flash drive (which is a VERY dated sentence) because he worked night patrol at the same time he was getting his teaching degree and my mom was an accountant so I was on my own a lot. Latchkey kids rise

Very shortly after, I found out that I was the only kid in school whose parents didn't have sticks up their asses about piracy and the only kid in school who knew how to do it. An opportunity to profit from this came my way. So I started filling out order sheets of what movies and music everyone wanted and would charge 5 bucks per dvd and 2 bucks per ipod or flash drive upload. I had a whole system going on. They would give me their mp3 players or flash drives at recess with their names on a sticky note or I would write in my notebook who wanted what dvd, they would pay me in advance, and I'd come back the next day with a bunch of burned dvds and all the mp3 players and flash drives and hand them out like the childrens equivalent of a drug dealer. Between that and my allowance I made a solid profit from this whole enterprise

And then this stuffy catholic girl who couldn't even handle the movie hot rod at my house once without screaming and crying that I hated all catholics and insulted god found out, and ran off whining to the teacher that I was doing this, but not before crossing her arms and sneering that I was a criminal who would end up in jail for the rest of my life one day and I deserved to go to hell. Nice girl, wasn't she?

Obviously I was pulled into the office and they called my parents at work and uni respectively, on speaker so she could show me how disappointed theyd be in me, and upon being told what I was doing, they both had to stifle their own laughter on the other end of the line and my dad could be heard going "that's IMPRESSIVE" to his friends and the principal told him it was very serious and he went "yes of course ma'am very... very serious!" Man if she knew they were the ones who taught me how to do that

[daughter-of-melpomene]

𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡 𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗘 𝗣𝗟𝗢𝗧 𝗕𝗨𝗡𝗡𝗜𝗘𝗦

The time has once again come for me to talk about some plot bunnies!! These are some all of the plot bunnies I currently have that I haven’t really talked about much, at least on here - feel free to ask me any questions you might have about them!!

Arabella Larson, Percy Jackson OC, OC + OC ship. Daughter of Aphrodite. Super sweet, sees Grover as a little brother figure and is very protective over him, has amazing fashion sense and is amazing at doing makeup. Girlfriend to an Ares girl named Noelle.

Noelle Perez, Percy Jackson OC, OC + OC ship. Daughter of Ares, Arabella’s girlfriend. More skilled with hand-to-hand combat than weapons. One of the oldest kids in Ares cabin, so she acts as an older sister to everyone. Gets a bit protective over Percy immediately and doesn’t approve of Clarisse bullying him at all.

Lydia Chen, Percy Jackson OC, Percy ship. Daughter of Apollo. A total theatre kid who’s a great singer and actress and wants to be on Broadway one day. Pretty much the only one to try and help Percy in his first week aside from Luke. Has a bit of healing ability, but can only fix minor cuts and scrapes. A bit dramatic, but still a sweetheart.

Eleleth, Supernatural OC, OC + OC ship. Girlfriend for my other Supernatural OC Via Winchester. Young dominion angel who comes to Earth with Castiel to teach Via about her own abilities and her role in the coming fight, and winds up falling in love with her. A bit uptight and doesn’t think much of humans, but she grows right along with Cas. Via considers her name “too fancy” and calls her Elle, with she hates right up until she doesn’t.

Morvant Bellatrix, One Piece live-action OC, Mihawk ship. Former assassin, of the all-female Fatale pirate crew. Known as the Siren of the East Blue because she has a Devil Fruit power that lets her inflict pain on people by singing a specific song (think kind of a dark Rapunzel). Basically unofficially adopts Luffy and the other Straw Hats and goes out of her way to keep bounty hunters and other pirates away from them. Mihawk takes one look at her torturing someone and immediately falls in love. She is cold and calculating but she also can and will kill for the people she cares about.

Yami Corvo, One Piece live-action OC, Shanks ship. One of the most deadly assassins in all four Blues. Has a Devil Fruit power that allows them to manipulate their own blood and make it into weapons (think Marie Moreau from Gen V). Tries and fails to kill Mihawk, but he takes a liking to them and offers to bring them along with him on his travels, which is how they meet Shanks, who takes one look at this feral assassin and instantly gets heart eyes. They are very much a golden retriever/black cat ship and it’s lovely.

Phoebe Mosley, The Magnificent Seven OC, Vasquez ship. Bounty hunter with incredible shooting skills who’s an old friend of Sam’s, so he recruits her to help protect Rose Creek. Closed-off and not receptive to Vasquez and Faraday’s flirting at first, but warms up to everyone on the team eventually and becomes besties with Billy. Name is inspired by Annie Oakley’s real name, Phoebe Ann Mosey.

Santiago “Tiago” Rojas, The Magnificent Seven OC, poly Goody + Billy ship. Outlaw wanted for the murder of a preacher he’d found to be abusing his children who helps Faraday out when he’s approached by the men he owes money to and receives the offer to help Rose Creek along with him. Eventually falls in love with Goody and Billy, but also becomes Spanish-speaking besties with Vasquez and good friends with Jack because they’re both religious. Very good with knives and an axe when he can get his hands on one.

Sophia Ramos, M*A*S*H OC, Father Mulcahy ship. Former USO girl and aspiring Broadway chorus girl who volunteers as a nurse when the army asks for more. A total girly girl who always wears makeup and her nice dresses whenever she doesn’t have to be in uniform. Incredibly cheery and playful, and often entertains the 4077th by singing and dancing to keep morale up. Becomes unexpected besties with Margaret, and just so happens to fall for the company priest along the way.

Anastasia “Ana” Upland, The Hunger Games OC, poly Katniss and Peeta ship. District 3, Career victor of the 72nd Hunger Games. Eagerly volunteered for her Games, but became disillusioned with the Capital after having to kill just to survive and win and sought out the rebellion after Katniss and Peeta’s victory. Gets to know Katniss and Peeta during the Quarter Quell Games and slowly falls in love with both of them as the rebellion progresses. Very closed-off and cold because she’s haunted by the things she’s seen and done, but fiercely loyal and would do anything for the people she cares about. Skilled with a variety of weapons, but best at close hand-to-hand combat.

Delilah “Lila” Wills, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen OC, poly Tom Sawyer + OC ship. Added to the relationship between Tom and my other OC Enola Holmes. Works as a secretary and assistant for Enola’s small detective business in London before she gets recruited by the League, and when the League comes back for another mission in London Enola convinces the other members to make her a part of the group. She and Enola were definitely something more than friends before, but when she sees Enola is with Tom she thinks she has no more chance until all three of them realize they’re all falling in love with each other. She also becomes besties with Skinner because they’re both crafty buggers with Cockney accents and a loose relationship with the law.

Tagging everyone who might be interested in some of these babies: @auxiliarydetective, @luucypevensie, @xoteajays, @themaradwrites, @endless-oc-creations, @starcrossedjedis, @ginevrastilinski-ocs, @oneirataxia-girl.

[whumpster-fire]

Leading Thieves Say Millennials and Zoomers "Ruining the Crime Industry"

A variety of criminals have spoken out over the past few weeks, saying that crime just doesn't pay like it used to because Millennials and Gen-Z-ers are so broke, they have nothing of value to steal.

Stephen "Fingers" Gilligan, Pickpocket: Pickpocketing has been on the decline in America for a while, but it's getting ridiculous now. Nobody carries cash anymore, and even cards aren't paying out. The other day I stole a wallet with five debit cards, and all but one of them declined. The last one had just enough to buy a Sierra Mist from a vending machine. That was my second best score all week. The best was a $40 Olive Garden gift card and a crumpled, discolored $5 bill that I had to use archeological techniques to retrieve without it disintegrating in my hand.

Burt Crustman, Mugger: Man, nobody walks through dark alleys at night since the pandemic hit, and when they do? Jackshit. The only valuable anyone under 40's got on them these days is their phone. Admittedly lotsa people have $3000 phones, but you know what the market for fencing iPhones is like? It's shit! Everybody's buying new phones because their phone's the only nice thing they can afford!

Monty Derailleur, Bike Thief: Well the bike theft business would be going good, if people ever used the bikes they bought. The sales are high, but the fact of the matter is, the bike lanes around here are shitty or nonexistent, there's no room to take them on the bus, and there's no bike racks so everybody knows it's gonna get stolen.

Jerry Rigby, Car Thief: I don't know what you're talking about, Grand Theft Auto is booming. There's $75,000 pickups, $60,000 SUVs, $100,000 Teslas, and most people can't even afford to buy a used car legally so fencing's never been easier. The reason it's hard for those of us in the business is twofold. First, too many people living out of their cars. Second, the competition. You see a nice car parked somewhere, you gotta be on it like that, or the fucking illegal towing rackets will beat you to it. It's nearly impossible to make a living as an independent car thief.

Dwayne Pipe, Burglar: The only reason to be breaking and entering in the post-Pandemic years if to use somebody's shower. I swear to god, half the time when I break into a place, the only furniture is a mattress on the floor and a mid-sized computer monitor as a TV, and those are only good for scrap because with planned obsolescence the way it is, they have a life expectancy of about 6 weeks after theft. To be honest with you, I'm running a loss on most jobs. The only reason I haven't gone straight is because all the legal jobs pay jackshit too. That, and I really like replacing people's family photos with pictures of Nicholas Cage.

Brittlyghn McKannyck, Shoplifter: Shoplifting these days is a hobby, not a career. Half the time the stores are too understaffed to even stock the shelves, and if they're not, everything's locked up. I had to get a guy to unlock a magnetic tag on a box of Crispix the other day. If I didn't live with my parents, there's absolutely no way shoplifting full time would be viable.

Norman Gore, Master Hacker and Identity Thief: Scamming people out of their financial info or cracking passwords has never been easier, but the scores just aren't worth it. I keep getting into bank accounts that pending overdraft fees. It's pathetic. I have to leave the lights off so my hacker den's only lit by the monitors, and type on three or four keyboards at once to hack enough people to make ends meet.

Jack Gazebo, Digital Pirate: Oh my fucking God, people, stop paying for streaming! Learn to torrent! I'm telling you, man, this generation just doesn't have the technological literacy to pirate media.

Captain Tom Stillcutt, Analog Pirate: Let me tell ye something, matey, it be a sad day for piracy. No more galleons laden low with gold doubloons, rum, and exotic spices, nay, it be all scurvy container ships full o' mass produced plastic now. Me last prize was a forty foot container loaded full of over a hundred thousand Funko Pops, en route from the East Indies. The worst part of it was as the cap'n I gets a double share o' the booty, whether I want it or not. I've been makin' one walk the plank every day, and my cabin's still full of the blasted things. Shiver my timbers, I hate these damned Zoomers! At least the ones in me crew are happy.

Geraldo Cardamom IV, Gentleman Thief: The economy's just horrible for heists these days. Art heists? Jewelry theft? All the rich idiots are blowing their money on crypto, NFTs, and custom furniture from hipster woodworking YouTubers. Nobody just has a gallery in their house with priceless antiques in glass cases below a conveniently placed skylight, or millions of dollars in cash and gold bullion in vaults behind secret doors with seven different elaborate locking mechanisms anymore. Nobody secures their valuables with networks of criss crossing laser motion sensors. The only guys with that kind of money are assholes like Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk, and they don't have the sense of style for that. They just hire a bunch of assholes with guns.

Carmen San Diego, Legend: You must be joking, right? The reason I retired is because the infrastructure in this country is so dilapidated it's impossible to move it without it disintegrating. My last heist was "stealing" the World's Largest Pothole in Lansing, Michigan. I lifted the entire six lane wide, fifteen foot deep pothole out of the ground, disassembled it, and shipped it across the country to a warehouse in Las Vegas, then filled in the hole with pristine asphalt so it looked like it was never there. Nobody investigated. Nobody came after me. The city threw a parade in my honor. It didn't even take a month before my record holding pothole was dethroned by one in Cleveland, leaving me with nothing but a bunch of dirt, crumbling asphalt, and broken dreams. That's when I realized it was time to call it quits. Well, maybe the Bass Pro Shops Pyramid, but it already looks stupid enough in the middle of Tennessee that the only way stealing it would be funny is if I put it in the original Memphis.

[kingedmundsroyalmurder]

Rating: General Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: Gen Fandom: Tortall - Tamora Pierce Characters: Alanna of Pirate's Swoop and Olau, Delia of Eldorne, Maura of Dunlath Additional Tags: Missing Scene, Frank discussion of treason, Truce for the sake of the traumatized child Word count: 6625

Summary:

“This is Maura of Dunlath,” Sir Alanna says. “She wanted to talk to you.” Delia can’t quite keep her surprise from her face. “Is that so?” she asks. “My sister Yolane was executed for high treason three weeks ago yesterday,” Maura says, and Delia blinks. “I wanted to ask you some questions.”

Oh hey, were you expecting literally any of the fics I've been posting about for days now? Too bad, you get this instead! The ten-years-on discussion between Delia, Alanna, and Maura of Dunlath that I didn't know I needed until yesterday and have now written. Enjoy!

Excerpt:

Lady Delia of Eldorne does not receive unexpected visitors. The Hag-Daughter comes twice monthly, to instruct her in matters of faith and hear her confessions. In years past, the Lord Provost’s agents at Eldorne called upon her regularly, to ensure her continued good behavior and impress upon her the mercy the Crown had shown in permitting her to live. Now, with over a decade gone by and Delia having long since come to terms with her lot in life, the Provost’s agents have been reassigned elsewhere. Her own family visits rarely, generally only once a year during Midwinter, and she is permitted the company of neither personal friends nor admirers. (Upon first hearing her sentence read out, Delia raged at the phrasing, assuming the King was rubbing salt into the wound that was her failure to find a husband at court. With the benefit of a great deal of forced reflection and perspective, she wonders if it was the King’s awkward attempt at guessing her interests.)

She spends her time reading and working on embroidery. With good behavior has come the right to send and receive letters – combed through by the Lord Provost’s agents and probably others besides – but she has few correspondents. She never had many friends, and what few she did have abandoned her long ago, terrified that treason might be contagious. A great deal of her time is spent in prayer and reflection – the letters she does write are primarily to the Hag-Daughter – and in sanctioned artistic pursuits. Delia never used to be artistic, except in matters of her own presentation, but a decade of enforced solitude and idleness has introduced her to many new ways to pass the time. 

It is a monotonous life but not, as she is reminded near-constantly, a bad one. It is a far nicer life than she deserves. She tries her best to be grateful for it. 

She has been imprisoned for eleven years and four months when a knock sounds on her parlor door and Rodwin the guardsman announces that she has visitors. Delia sets down her embroidery, a slight frown on her face. It is too early in the month for the Hag-Daughter and the wrong time of year for any of her relations to undertake their once-yearly pilgrimage to gawk at her.

“Enter,” she calls, and it is all she can do to keep from gawking herself as the door opens and in strides in Sir Alanna the Lioness, looking like she would rather be absolutely anywhere else.