#Take that with a grain of salt though this is more like my pov on Charlie

[zeb-z]

The thing about Forever and Bad is that they don't know how to deescalate, and they start at 100 straight from 0 every time with each other. They will spend hours arguing about semantics that don't matter. They will go to the extreme ends of pranks (which as fun as the audio remixes were, spending hours trying to find the source was literal hell genuine psychological torment). They will go for the throat just to antagonize the other.

So no, I don't think Forever knows a thing about Dapper or the other eggs whereabouts. He just knows better about the way Bad operates, the way he lies and deflects. He's familiar with his crafty words and how he turns a conversation on its head. He knows that what Bad is being accused of is entirely likely, that he is not who he usually is when the eggs are around. And he knows that Dapper, beyond a shadow of a doubt, is who Bad cares for most of all.

This isn't something he can argue hours about, to chip away little by little like he usually does. For both the safety of the worker, because the longer they're locked up surely the worse off they'll be - and for the safety of Bad, who if he wasn't under extreme watch by the Federation, he certainly is now, after Tubbo very loudly accused him in his Federation office.

He goes for the throat, immediately playing a trump card that he knows Bad won't just brush off or ignore, because as much as Bad can be unpredictable, Forever knows that Bad cares about the eggs as much as he does. As questionable as his morals are, as slippery as he can be to pin down, Bad has always placed the eggs as the highest priority - and he needs Bad to have no choice but to be honest, or to knock him off guard enough that he'll give him something to work with.

Is it fair? Maybe not. But when has Bad ever played fair with him?

[enifo-talks]

I'll never forgive yall for making Cassidy whole personality just 'angry'

im mainly talking about when she interacts with the other kids and she only yells at them unless if it's CC which is like in every au for some reason, unless if it's when she is only interacting with William than yea that fits 👍 ALSO ppl making Cassidy the "villain" for wanting revenge on William is the most frustrating thing ever. SHE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO WANT THAT!!!! Idc what back story William had, he took her life, she was just a little girl. And most ppl villainize her that way, It's different making her the 'villain' because she is keeping William alive which is stopping ppl from moving on and is allowing William to kill more ppl.

It's just so frustrating especially when we kinda see how Cassidy actually is to the other kids and she is actually is kind to them, it just revenge before bros

[cripplecharacters]

Hi! I have a character in the anime world, Boku No Hero Academia who’s had a prosthetic eye since the age of three years old. Right now, he’s 15, turning 16, and gets a prosthetic arm later on in the story—I wanted to ask if these things are okay?

-he often jokes that he’s “turning into a robot” (he does this when he loses his arm)

- When he DOES get a prosthetic arm, Mikumo finds it odd and kind of tedious to use. He figures he can just use his telekinesis to move things around that he can’t reach but that in and of itself makes him sick so his friends are often like “hey, you should wear this” and he’s annoyed but does so specifically when he can’t do things on his own. Since this IS a fighting anime, he does end up wearing it for fights rather than everyday mundane tasks but I’m not sure if that’s okay or not?

-With his eye, after losing it during a training exercise, he doesn’t end up getting a new one and doesn’t seem to care very much. He still has an eyepatch over it because of protection though. My main concern was that I had only figured out the prosthetic eye thing after publishing chapter one and wanted to ask if it’s possible for the eye to appear glossy / and or for the person to close their eye shut alongside the other one? I don’t particularly mention that his eye is any different than a normal one but I’m unsure if that would confuse readers when I write him doing normal stuff with one eyed vision or not? Would he have been used to seeing with one eye that it doesn’t bother him?

- With his prosthetic arm, he learns how to do things with one limb but uses the prosthetic for fighting and fighting only, or just fighting and SOME mundane tasks but he doesn’t exactly like leaving it on all the time, hence why he almost never uses it save for the specific thing mentioned. Is that falling into any tropes?

Hello, I'll try to go point by point. Standard disclaimer that we don't have amputee mods or mods with ocular prosthetics, take everything with a grain of salt.

Robot joke: Yeah, disabled people do that joke, I've heard it IRL a few times.

Prosthetic arm: I'd have to guess that it would be more of a hindrance than help? Depends on amputation level, perhaps. But either way that's a chunk of metal that is heavy and tiring to use, you might as well get a metal socket to hit other people with, genuinely seems more practical and easier to control. Especially if he doesn't have time for a bunch of occupational therapy and just wants to go back to fighting stuff.

Prosthetics eye: how does he lose it? I only ever heard of people losing their prosthetic eye in water with strong current, otherwise I think it would be hard since it's in the person's eye socket and all, you have to get your fingers in there to take it out. Out of curiosity, if it's a result of school activity, will they repay him the cost of his prosthetic? I don't know how Japanese insurance nor law works but in the US a prosthetic eye is 2000$+, if he's 15 his parents would probably kill him for just losing it like that. Not to mention that it would probably feel like losing a part of his body if he has been using it consistently for so long - it doesn't mean he has to want it back ASAP and worry himself sick, but he will need an adjustment period for "oh yeah I don't have that anymore" to actually click.

Technically a prosthetic eye can look in any way since the appearance/colors are just cosmetic, but the "glassy look" is generally associated with glass eyes, which just aren't really a thing anymore. Most prosthetics are acrylic and look exactly like the other eye, you really can't tell which is which (on people who have only one prosthesis) in my experience.

The biggest (and usually only) visual difference is the lacking movement of the prosthetic when compared to the other eye. But in terms of POV writing, 99% of people's first thought will be strabismus rather than a prosthetic eye.

If his prosthetic eye is fit properly he should have no problems with his eyelids, including closing and winking or whatnot. This however will change when he ditches it for an eyepatch as the eyelids will lose their shape. He might have problems using a prosthetic eye later if he just goes with a bare socket and not even a conformer (another thing his parents would probably worry about if he has been using a prosthesis for the past 13 years).

He would have probably gotten used to his monocular vision by that point, he spent his essentially whole life like that. I was born with impaired depth perception and well, I don't know anything else, it's just normal to me. Even if he did have to do some things differently, I don't think he would consider it as "bothering" him, that'd be just how he learned to do it in the first place.

Prosthetic arm again: I can mostly refer you to that post in our pinned about writing characters with an upper limb prosthesis. The thing is, if he's below the elbow, he probably really doesn't need it outside some specific activities that he could have a specialized prosthetic for (there's not that many of these activities). If he doesn't have a residual limb (or has an extremely short one), he is almost definitely not using a prosthetic since it's incredibly hard to control and weighs a ton, two things that don't really help while fighting. He can still kick ass without a prosthetic or even using his residual limb (though I wouldn't recommend punching with the limb if he has a through-bone amputation, it would hurt him more than whoever he was punching). I know that in media every arm amputee is suddenly helpless and immediately loses once they don't have their prosthetic, but that's just the "perfect magic prosthesis/disability as a superpower" BS again. A lot of completely able-bodied characters use one arm in combat, whether they use a gun or a one-handed blade or something else. It's completely possible to fight with one arm.

To figure out if it falls into tropes, you need to research how realistic it would be. He's not wearing his prosthesis 24/7 which is good, but when does he wear it? If it's while [performing activity A], try googling how amputees with the same level of amputation (!) do it. There are articles and Q&As and YouTube instruction videos about everything now - see if real life amputees actually need a prosthesis to [perform activity A]. It could be that he would need it, that he wouldn't at all, or that he wouldn't need it per se but it would speed the process up or whatever. If the conclusion is "yeah he would need it", then it's realistic and not a trope; and if he wouldn't need it, then you now know how he would actually do it. You can also alternatively look at similar resources for people with hemiplegia since it's a more common disability and some or a lot of it might apply to your character as well.

Hope this helps,

mod Sasza

[tgcf-confessions]

I think a few people write Hua Cheng too sane?

This man waited 800 years for his one true love. I’ve just seen so many fics with some… kind of …bland reunions? I mean, he’s happy but I feel like it’s not the screaming and explosive reaction he would have.

This goes double for times when he finds Xie Lian in bad situations. I want to see him tear down the walls of his own house, and level a town. I need to see him in emotion turmoil. WITH tears (let him cry!!!)

Hua Cheng obviously waters himself down at first when around Xie Lian. It makes sense though. During their first meeting he needs to act like a normal guy ™️ as to not scare him off. So if you’re writing a Xie Lian POV it’s more understandable that Hua Cheng’s devotion wouldn’t be as precieved.

BUT in Hua Cheng’s own fucking POV? Let his insanity run rampant! He deserves it. It’s a treat.

(Not really meant to bash on any authors. I really like the tgcf fandom. Take my opinion with a grain of salt I’m just a rando in the internet)

.

[starsworldd]

astro observations part 6

i am back!! please take with a grain of salt per usual. to all my people finishing up ap exam week hope you still have some life left in ya and know that i support you❤️ i only have one ap exam left!!! woo hoo🥳

✢ while many people on here say that cancer risings look like 🌝 in all honesty it depends a lot on their moon sign like everything else with a cancer rising😭

✢ venus in the chart shows where we express our harmonic side the easiest. it may show where we sacrifice bold, assertive energy in exchange for contentment and satisfaction with the people around us or the things (physical or non-physical) around us. venus represents ease

✢ 6th house placements feel restricted often and may feel as though the everyday routines they complete lack a purpose to the bigger cause. although this is very much so a purposeful house, this house also does highlight repetition and with so much repetition these placements can easily feel as though they’re stuck in an ever-perpetuating cycle of the same exact thing everyday — coming from a 6th house sun ☀️

✢ 6th house placements especially sun are also really good at community service, they will put their heart and soul into that stuff

✢ virgo placements get along with saggitarius placements. same with virgo and scorpio

✢ somebody mentioned saggitarius and scorpio both being signs of transformation not just scorpio and i could not agree more. saggitarius being ruled by jupiter wants to expand and make things bigger. making something that was once limited to something large takes transformation and change does it not?

✢ water and fire signs are the 2 sides of the same coin in my opinion. i think the majority of people think that fire energy is too much for water energy, but water energy can be just as overwhelming as fire energy. they both prioritize their emotions and intuition. but people paint water signs so passively and as if they lack confidence which is not necessarily true. fire expels their emotion and intuition through action. water often expels their emotion and intuition internally or metaphysically. this doesn’t make water less motivated, both fire and water are equally motivated. i would say that water is motivated by a bigger purpose or sacrifice. but fire is motivated by feeling and power. but the main takeaway is that water and fire are both intuitive and emotional. just different outputs!

✢ mars conjunct venus in the natal chart often points to some sort of artistic talent, songwriting, performing, singing, etc…

✢ people with both mars and venus in earth signs are very attractive. earth being physical and associated with touch, mars and venus being the feminine and the masculine energy…you get the point

✢ virgo venus and scorpio mars people are the real heartthrobs around here

✢ scorpio is so similar to fire energy it’s so true. scorpio is fire energy but somebody put a dampener in their room or something like that

✢ scorpio placements are good at turning pain into power. i think this is why people often associate scorpio placements with fame or high professional positions

✢ gemini give off the color yellow to me 💛

✢ libra moons have an amazing taste in fashion

✢ mercury retrograde people are really creative

✢ fixed mars people are so attractive im not really sure why but they just are (to me at least). they can also be good dancers especially taurus and leo.

✢ i went on a date with a guy who had an aquarius stellium and boy was he boring…standing out this, standing out that, yes those things can be true but aquarius represents society and the “audience”, and in these contexts people can appear the same from one another (not all aquarius people are boring just offering a different pov bc people always saying aquarius is different and unique from the rest)

✢ jupiter 5th house people have an elite sense of humor

✢ capricorn placements and having naturally good teeth

✢ jupiter in the 6th house is such a blessed placement imo. it’s giving “everyday is a new adventure” 💫

hope you enjoyed!

[thecoolerliauditore]

I remember last year finally watching Pearl and Scott's last life and. I think I experienced... the same thing that people who dislike FH did in 3L but with Pearl? I was encouraged to watch it by a friend because they said that gaslight gatekeep girlboss was super wholesome and loyal to each other, and that Scott even turned red rather than hurt either of them. But when I watched it, idk it wasn't as bad as I've seen some people describe FH but I was just struck by how often Scott calls Pearl insane or crazy or unhinged just for... existing? Playing the game? Being just a little bit silly sometimes no more than anyone else? He acted like she was a wild animal he had to reign in even though she didn't do anything crazier than what he did. Sometimes he would just randomly call her insane it felt like. It made me finally understand what people meant by those words being ableist with how often he threw them around! It got really uncomfortable!

I got sold GGG as a very cute wholesome winners POV, and I guess compared to everyone else in LL it was, but only if you compare it to other LL teams. People said he was suddenly mean to Pearl in DL, but he mostly repeated a lot of the things he already said about her in LL! I was expecting there to be some shift in how he treated her. Makes me scared to watch Jimmy and Scott's 3L POV if this is what people consider Scott being wholesome!

FASCINATING. this might be my cue to go rewatch GGG Last Life.

I'll be very open and say it's been a fair amount of time since I've sat down to rewatch LL, so I might be looking back at Scott and Pearls relationship with rose tinted glasses -- I spoke a little bit on the soft manipulation that existed between them still, like when Scott yelled at Pearl to kill Joel, but my impression of them is fairly wholesome. Then again I watched LL first and didn't have the context from 3L so the first time I watched their POV it was just. Haha funny blue man cute accent.

So take the rest of this with a grain of salt, at this point I'm fully prepared to say something like "Scott never hit Pearl" and someone will link me their equivalent of the sugar cane scene from 3L lmao.

So I can offer up some semblance of an explanation, if that helps at all to explain the perception gap. One thing is like you said, they were wholesome in comparison to the rest of the teams in LL, which I'd argue were the most disastrous in the series with the damage the "reds can't team with non-reds" rule did to them.

3L teams were also pretty bad, but when you went to compare FH to other teams you had other duos like DD and Renchantyn that had their own issues but served as a very solid point of reference for how they seemed to genuinely respect their partners. Thinking about the clip where Grian and Scott leave Scar and Jimmy to pull the lever on exploding Monopoly Mountain and Grian is trying his best to say he's worried for Scar through gritted teeth because he's Grian and Scotts just like. Well Jimmys probably gonna screw this one up 🙄 A very one to one comparison point presented directly for the viewer.

Scott and Pearl, on the other hand, were the only duo in LL amongst a bunch of massive teams that were falling apart all around them. It gave them this "us against the world" feeling, so to speak.

Maybe if Team BEST was more honest about being Teams BE and ST then we would've had a better comparison point and Scott and Pearl would've seemed way more insane, but then again I've had people vague to me that LL Ethubs is their 3L FH so I'm biting my tongue on this one.

Another thing that I think is more poignant is the factor of hindsight. Scott calling Pearl insane Now is horrifying because of what he did in DL and his calling her that being very much more serious.

In LL Pearl really didn't have any baggage attached to the word "insane" afaik? Unless she got upset at him and I've just forgotten cus it's been too long which is a very likely possibility.

So at the time it just seemed like. Pearl being Pearl and Scott gripping his head in stress and going aughhhhhhhhh ahhhhhh. Which is like. Fine at least to me. Her antics made his blood pressure go but he still went along with them more often than not and stuck by her side.

"She didn't do anything crazier than he did" is SUPER true btw LL Scott is a menace but I also must point out this is a point in hypocrisy but also a point in Pearls personality rubbing off on Scott that season. He was always a crazy arsonist but now he's a crazy arsonist without the angst.

Like the POV is haunting to me now that I have the context of DL and beyond and Scott being serious about the "insane" thing but before I got that context it really did just look like. Pearl being some sort of animal that has wandered into Scott's base and started gnawing at the curtains and Scott trying to scare her away with a broom yelling at the top of his lungs YOURE INSANE. YOURE INSANE. But also the creature if it leaves will Take All of His Lives Away so he has to learn to live with her and through her learn to be a little more chill. Which is the main appeal of that POV, to me at least.

compare say. The part in LL where Pearl steals one of Scars crystals and is genuinely being silly and antagonistic by running around giggling. And Scott's thrown his hands up and going "I DONT APPROVE THIS BUT IM NOT HER BOSS DONT LOOK AT ME". To Episode 2 of WL where Pearl is like? A little bit cheeky to Gem and Gem literally scolds Scott for not "controlling" her well enough and Scott apologises and promises he'll do better. <- ?????? Everything I type out this interaction I have to remind myself it's real btw like what.

and I must say they do have a lot of really genuinely cute moments that season that might be blinding me shoujo sparkle style to the horrors. Like their staring into each others eyes ritual thing for boogeyman assignments, for example. Compare that to the um. Axe crits.

ANYWAY. fascinating insight. To rewatch Pearls POV I go (<- clown makeup is locked and loaded)

[themiimagebehindfire]

I just want to clear something up cause I saw confusion:

No. Jensen is NOT the one who gave Tom his scars. It was all part of the dream. Nothing in that dream sequence actually happened.

(Even though I do agree it’s weird how Aiden is there when this takes place before All Stars)

The whole point of this is to showcase Tom’s mental state at this point in his life. And dreams are very ludicrous in logic in anyone’s case. Just because the dream is ludicrous, doesn't mean it's irrelevant to understanding Tom as a character.

CANONICALLY, Tom is a torture survivor. He was kidnapped when he fumbled his spy mission and the captors proceeded to heavily torture him, giving him his scars. And it's heavily implied that his co-workers and boss shamed him for being tortured, as they weren't happy with how the mission went.

The show doesn't really NEED to show the actual backstory of Tom getting tortured, one cause I think that'd get OddNations demonetized, and two cause the aftermath of the incident is the more important detail.

It shows with almost all of his actions and insecurities and how he views himself. Honestly, it's a miracle he's not worse. He hid his face in a mask, he constantly viewed himself in the mirror in shame, he talks very lowly of himself, and he has a hard time not jumping to the instinct to put a wall up so he doesn't get hurt again.

You see where I'm going with this.

I admit, I too was very frustrated with him in the first half of All Stars. Mostly cause I was giving all my sympathy towards Jake like a bias bitch. (He is NOT innocent either) But then Episode 9 happened and we got the explanation, and after that, Tom took accountability and did what he could to make up for what he'd done. I at least appreciate that. (Do I think it could've been directed better? Absolutely. But at least the accountability is THERE. It could've very easily not been there at all.)

I DON'T want this to be read as 'Tom is now excused for all of his bad actions'. Because that's NOT what the episode, or the story, is saying.

Now, I am NOT a torture victim/survivor, so anyone who IS can clarify better if this is accurate portrayal of the psychological aftermath, better than me. So take my words with a grain of salt.

Tom DIDN'T avoid Jake because he hated Jake and held a grudge for what happened. (Which is what I thought at the start of All Stars before it was explained otherwise) He avoided Jake because he loved him, but hated himself so much that he couldn't see himself as good enough, both to be around him or to survive another potential future that could lead to torture. (The very thing that scarred his face, which ashamed him)

You want to love someone, you got to love yourself. Both of them hated themselves. So they couldn't love each other until they found good in themselves. Jake just had the more obvious arc cause unlike Tom, Jake is there the entirety of All Stars.

Trauma does not 'make you stronger'. It makes you a pain in the ass to deal with. That's because it causes a lot of psychological damage and anxiety.

And in Tom's case, it is GETTING HURT. Getting hurt in several ways both physically, but even more so, mentally. His life is surrounded by getting hurt. And getting hurt is something painful, so he doesn't want to be hurt if he can help it.

The show doesn't NEED to show the backstory of the torture, (That's for fanfic writers to do if they love making Tom suffer) because the aftermath of that backstory is what was important.

It's also the aftermath of All Stars that was important because despite how hurt they got, they still worked it out and that was what mattered in the end. Maybe not to every couple, but to them it's what mattered.

Can Tom be excused for what he's done? HELL NO. But sometimes you gotta understand the character's POV and what was established that they've been through before you can make bold claims.

I said this with my post about Jake and this applies to Tom too: Nobody is going to make the most rational choice every time. Nobody is going to make the correct choice every time.

You think a simple slap in the face is going to undo a ton of baggage and trauma and make a character act perfect immediately afterwards? No. That's crazy to think about.

[alivish]

Tsukasa 5th Event Predictions/Wishlist

So, with Mafuyu's 5th event it marks the 85th character focus event, which means we are 3 away from the 88th which we all know is Tsukasa's number. Even though that's probably 2 to 3 months away, I decided that I have sone predictions and I want to ramble. These are my predictions but it's also kind of a wishlist, so take these predictions with a grain of salt.

1. Story

Firstly, what will the events story be?

Most of Tsukasa's stories have been about his struggles as an actor.

On the Stage of Dazzling Light had Tsukasa play a character that was the complete opposite of him.

Towards the Phoenix at the Sky's Edge had Tsukasa struggle to play Rio and face his inferiority.

A Story Where You Are the Star had Tsukasa play what amounts to a background character as if they were a real person.

3/4 of his events revolve around his capability as an actor. I could see this trend continuing, possibly with film or television acting because Rui's 4th event did explore the film industry.

But that would make 4/5 of Tsukasa's event about his capability as an actor and while that is what his 5th event is probably going to be about I want something a bit different.

Wonderlands x Showtime disbandment Tsukasa POV.

Project Sekai has been kind of dancing around WxS disbandment, they've made Rui and Emu events about it, but they've never had the characters talk about when it's going to happen. I want Tsukasa's 5th event to be when they finally confront it and talk about disbanding.

The only issue with this is that I think it might be a bit too early for this cause they might want to stretch it out for a bit longer, but on the other hand their third years and world link has happened so this might be the perfect time to start the disbandment arc.

In this theoretical event, someone could tell Tsukasa that in order to achieve his goal of stardom WxS is going to have to disband or he gets an offer to join an actual theatre troupe once he graduates but there's no guarantee that WxS will be with them. The important thing is something or someone is going to force Tsukasa to think about leaving WxS.

And he thinks about it, WxS is trying so hard to stick together, they've even become freelance to extend their time together, but at what point does staying together stop them from achieving their dreams?

Tsukasa, Nene, and Rui have to leave WxS, insisting on staying together is going to limit their prospects as actor and director.

He doesn't talk to WxS cause Tsukasa doesn't really talk about his problems, they're probably preparing for a show of some sort and Tsukasa realizes how much he doesn't want WxS to disband.

At some point he'll go to the Wonderland SEKAI alone and talk to the virtual singers and then he'll finally admit that he has to leave WxS.

This time unlike in other WxS disbandment events Tsukasa will actually talk to WxS about it and say he's leaving, probably like once he graduates or something.

He tells them he doesn't want it to end either, but it's best for all of them to achieve their dreams. He says that they all know that the day will come when it'll all end and instead of fearing it and pretending that it won't come, they should enjoy every moment of it that's left and move forward with a smile on their face.

It ties in really well to a line in Fillament Fever, "There's no more fear for the unforseeable tomorrow."

Plus it'll lead to Nene and Rui's events very well, with Rui dealing with the fact that WxS will have to actually come to an end instead of being able to just push it off and Nene having to deal with that while also dealing with the fact that Tsukasa seems to be moving much faster than she is.

Again, this might be too early for them to actually talk about disbanding, but this is also a wishlist for a reason.

2. Cards

I want a lim Tsukasa focus and I do think there's a possibility that it'll happen.

June will have Colorfes so it'll be a mixed lim.

July has L/n World Link, the 86th character focus, and a mixed lim.

August has the Virtual Singer World Link, the 87th character focus, and the 88th character focus.

The only character focus lim we've had this year was An back in April, so getting another one on August isn't too out there.

However July and August are just guesses, for all I know they could make the 87th character focus a lim on July or have another mixed lim on August. It's all just speculation.

But I'll be talking about this as if we're getting a lim set.

Firstly, I want this sets theme to be the end of the world, because it marks the beginning of the end.

Something like an overgown city would be nice, one that's been abandoned to the point that nature has reclaimed it.

4 Stars: Tsukasa, Emu, Rui

3 Star: Nene

2 Star: Virtual Singer

Tsukasa has 6 lim hairstyles, while Emu and Rui only have 5. Minori has 7 so it's certainly possible.

Well anyway I those 3 as the 4 star is because it's Tsukasa's event and Emu and Rui have had events dealing with WxS breaking up while Nene has not.

I'm just going to describe the 4 star cards vaguely just to get the idea out there.

Rui's trained card would have an expression similar to the one in his 3rd focus event but more emotional is the best way I could describe it. He'd look more hesistant, conflicted, and generally unhappy at the end of the world, but also with a hint of longing for a time long gone.

Emu would have a wistful smile, she's accepted what's happened but she also yearns for the past.

Tsukasa would look content, he has a look of acceptance on his face that the world has ended. The best way I can describe it is that he's found a reason to smile at the end of the world.

Also I imagine this cardset will take place at night, so it'll be mostly dark except for like some sort of fire lighting them up.

3. Producer

So I'm a pretty casual vocaloid fan, I know all the popular producer but not that much of the less mainstream ones. But here are 3 producers that I think could be asked to make Tsukasa 5th commision.

1. Hachi

This isn't going to happen. I do not think that the PJSK team could get Kenshi Yonezu, Japan's most popular singer, to commision a song for them and if they did it'd probably be an anniversary song or a VBS commision, but a man can dream and I think Hachi could make a banger Tsukasa commision.

2. Wotaku

Wotaku is definitely going to make a commision song at some point, it's just a matter of when and for who. Most likely N25 or VBS, but since this theoretical event is WxS disbandment and the card set is based on the end of the world I feel like it could fit. Also Wotaku makes some pretty jazzy songs and as of recent Tsukasa's commisions have been leaning that way.

3. KANON69

PJSK GIVE ME A KANON69 COMMISION ALREADY!

I like KANON69 and they're popular enough and have been around long enough to be offered to make a commision song, so I want it to happen. KANON69's jazz is immaculate and is a perfect fit for WxS, they can make both whimsical songs and songs with a somewhat sinister undertone, they can do both in one song. Anyway KANON69 is an amazing producer and I could be wrong about everything here, but if KANON69 is commision for Tsukasa's 5th event I will be happy.

[elainsgirl]

okay but I feel like acosf was a joke. where was the love between nesta and cassian? they were just having sex 24/7. the only good thing about the book was nesta friendship with gwyn and emerie and the valkyries. nesta and cassian need more buildup. im also confused on how nesta, emerie, and gwyn won the blood rite against men who trained for decades and they trained for like 6 months??? cassian acted like he couldn't keep his D in his pants (and there's argument about azriel just lusting for elain???? where did that come from?? im confused. because from acosf I only saw a few moments from them that will probably be in the next book for their story. i have no idea about lucien, hes just there to me.) feyre's pregnancy should not have happened. im sorry but it was just out of the blue for me. we deserved to see her pov and her reaction from feyre and rhys pov, not nesta! then everyone lied to feyre???? what is this book??? help me understand.

Hey anon 🫶 (buckle up this is long)

Acosf was…something. In terms of healing and friendship, I loved the message it sent, that everyone can heal - but you have to work hard for it. Similar to how hard you have to work when climbing a mountain but when you get to the top - all the efforts you’ve made are worth it, you’ve conquered your trauma and past, are now looking ahead to an endless future.

That being said - wtf was acosf? It just felt like an easy way out.

Cassian and Nesta had the set up, the potential angst, longing - it was all there. Mass just couldn’t do them justice and I can’t wrap my head around why. Aside from fics, im not an author or a writer. I can be ignorant and say the book should have been easy to write & Mass flopped big time bcs she didn’t know what she was doing - but it’s easy to critique. So take whatever I say with a grain of salt, especially as its been 4 years since I read the book (thats how bad it was. I mentally just can’t reread that book)

Everything from acosf fell flat. I can’t tell you why Cassian loved Nesta. I can comfirm he was attracted to her, but love? I don’t know. You could feel Rhysand’s feelings towards Feyre. His admiration, adoration and determination to make her happy & give her everything she wants. With Nessian I couldn’t feel that. Yes, Cassian has been there for Nesta during her toughest times but it never felt enough. I think it’s because they lacked tender moments between them, most of their moments always came back to them doing each other. I just needed more pure scenes. Imagine Nesta having a nightmare and Cass comes, soothes her - they talk a little of Nesta’s childhood, maybe a good memory between the sisters - and eventually Nesta falls asleep on his shoulder and he just stares and admires her. We needed to see more of these vulnerable, soft moments. I also feel as though Sjm didn’t know how to get Nesta and Cass in forced proximity. So she lumps them - through problematic means - at the house of wind together. I also think Mass wanted to get straight into writing their intimate scenes - either to please herself or her Cassian fans that wanted to see what he’d be like - the issue however…was Nesta ready to get into a physical relationship? I don’t think so. We needed to see more yearning and angst before they got together. Cass at times acted like a dog that needed to be watered. He had 0 growth & didn’t feel fleshed out. Also the way he talks about Mor? Are we sure he isn’t the obsessed one and it’s Azriel? All I know is by the end of acosf - I was not rooting for Nesta and Cass. Nesta needed time & adjustment. They needed to become friends who can rely & trust each other first before becoming romantic or accepting their bond. All that being said, I don’t hate Nessian. More development can always come in future books. They’re definitely endgame even if some stans are in denial and think Sjm will pull a wild card, have Nessian break up. Only for Nesta to end up with Eris following her mother’s desires.

The valkryies winning the rite felt too much like a perfect fairytale ending - I think we need to accept the fact these books will be the definition of Cliche. Cliche romances, tropes & friendships. Sjm isn’t going for realism (aside from the characters’ healing aspect) these are her perfect stories. So whilst the valkryies winning may make no sense realistically- if we look at it from a fairytale view: you have 3 friends who worked together, helping each other through trust and perseverance to win. They did it through the bond of friendship- which is the cliche message. You can’t always climb a mountain by yourself. It will get hard. You will want to give up. You need friends who you can trust to help pick you back up - you don’t have to go through the healing process alone. Everyone will have someone that will be the Gwyn/Emerie to their Nesta.

The only way Sjm can redeem herself from that pregnancy plotline is by giving a novella of feysand dealing w the pregnancy during acosf. I think Mass needed to “redeem” Nesta in a huge way- feyre’s life and family being in danger was the way She came up with. Sucks bcs it could have been dealt with better. I also think if we got Feyre’s pregnancy from Rhysands pov - a lot more people will sympathise with him & lay off in harshly judging his character. Everyone lying to Feyre- just goes to show how everyone in her life failed her once more. Other then Rhys: She isn’t anyones first choice. Her friends not telling the truth- imo undermined their friendship in acomaf/acowar making it now seem fake.

Anyone that says Az *just* lusts for Elain, read acosf & is now scared that future couples will be reduced as characters who only want to do each other. The claim comes from Azriel’s bonus - idk if you’ve read it - but everyone’s clutching their pearls bcs “oooh the absolute horror of Az wanting Elain! How dare he!” Its an NA explicit novel. Idk what the fuss is about. Denial ig. I think Luciens in the background bcs he isn’t important to the current subplots. Personally I think he will get his novella but that is a long way away so for now he’s in the background- not forgotten just not integral.

In the end, I feel like Sjm struggled with getting everything - from Nessians relationship, too “redeeming” Nesta and the little plot SF had - going. She struggled w catalysing it all. Lets all just pray future books go better.

[monstersinthecosmos]

Daddy Kink in Gallows Bird

[read on AO3]

CW: Incest, noncon, TVA stuff !

Okay so. I’m in the middle of writing another meta about Daddy Kink in VC/TVA/B&G so please forgive me if this post or the other winds up being redundant, but in the middle of all the deep thinking I’ve been doing about that topic in canon, I also had some interesting convo in the comments of this fic, so I wanted to park this somewhere as well. I’ll try not to be too repetitive and I’m going to try to keep the convo focused a little more on the fic than on canon (to the best of my ability since they overlap so much!) because I wanted to talk specifically about the train of thought that informed the fic, and just take it with a grain of salt because it does veer into headcanon territory at times when I’m filling in gaps from canon.

Anyway so I brought Daddy Kink/father themes up a few times in this fic, here’s some examples (this might be all of them actually, I forget lol):

During Amadeo’s dream about being raped, that the smell of wine subliminally reminds him of his father, even though he can’t quite put it together.

Matteo commenting that Marius is Amadeo’s father (during sex, and implying that Marius fucks him).

The man at the party towards the end who is thinking about his own son while he eats Amadeo out.

Marius telling the men in the final scene that he and Amadeo are named Ivan and Andrei.

BONUS POINT, less obvious: Marius musing about Rome, the fatherland, and Roman storytelling trying to paint forefathers in a better light.

I admit that on some level this is not that deep lol it was just being horny and indulging in daddy kink, but like I do want my fics to make sense when it comes to meta and I did want it to be plausible with canon.

So off the bat we have to say like, VC vampires exist above social constructs anyway. Marius isn’t someone who’s going to get grossed out by crossing a boundary like this, in the same vein as Louis and Claudia or Lestat and Gabrielle. As vampires they do not exist inside familial structures anymore. So I think this is extremely present in the Venice portions of the books, that there’s this blurry line around father/mentor/maker/lover.

I also think about this part of B&G every day of my life:

And I, with all my power, and all my blandishments, could not replace Amadeo’s father in Amadeo’s mind. Why was I so jealous? Why did this knowledge sting me so much?

BONUS LINE IN NEXT PARAGRAPH: I loved Amadeo as I had loved Pandora.

I WANT TO BE HIS DADDY BUT ALSO HIS DADDY. I WANT HIM TO BE MY CHILD AND ALSO MY WIFE.

There’s just so much going on here!

Anyway so in TVA I think like, not knowing Marius’s POV at that point, Marius is having lots of mood swings, he can be hot and cold, at times sends Amadeo mixed signals. But in B&G when we get the insight, we learn how often he struggled with whether or not to turn Amadeo as he began to love him. (I think also a lot about when he tells Armand at the end of TVA that he sees Armand loves B+S more respectfully than Marius ever loved Armand!!)

And I want to like, balance this against Marius’s inherent selfishness with how he treated Amadeo, how he treated him like a pet or like a project. I don't think (in canon) he saw Amadeo as a full person, and it's why he interrupts Amadeo so much in the fic. Amadeo at this point in canon exists for Marius's own needs.

(Sidenote, when I was working on this fic and kept struggling with like, the POV of a Marius who doesn’t actually see Amadeo as a complete person, I kept using how I feel about my cats as a reference lol. Like I love them to death, I would die for them, but they don’t have a single fucking thought in their brains, they are little babies that I take care of bc they’re cute and I like having them around.)

I talk a lot about how I love Marius because he’s a flawed person; I find his flaws and missteps to be so human and relatable, like I too do my best to be reasonable and kind and patient and yet I do have a petty side. I can hold grudges. I think all of us are capable of acting selfishly.

Because like, his love of Amadeo is conditional, it’s like having a pet. In the book he keeps changing his mind if he should turn Amadeo or let him free to have a real life and we don’t know what his ultimate decision would have been because Harlech forces his hand. The question is: Would he have ever let Amadeo go?

He specifically chooses Amadeo because it’s someone he sees as a blank slate, A FUNERAL SPIRIT, someone on borrowed time. Marius considers Amadeo’s life over already, so this is all bonus for him. There’s never a question of rescuing him out of goodness and returning him to his home. Marius specifically chooses him to groom as a fledgling because he’s lonely, and he doesn't see Amadeo as a human with a potential life anyway.

So in the fic I tried to make this clear, all the times Marius wonders if he can keep Amadeo, even begging Akasha for a clue, and by the end he realizes he has to keep Amadeo because this experience has ruined him. He’s never going to be able to live a normal life now, and Marius knows it*. AS FAR AS THE FIC UNIVERSE GOES, we could ask the same, like, will Marius still turn him in this fic timeline if Harlech doesn’t show up, but I think he would.

*also as an aside, I wrote this fic to be like backwards engineered Devil's Minion, so I bring this theme up a lot in my Armand/Daniel fics, and the entire thesis of The Lotus Eater is that Armand was careless with Daniel and broke him, which is what Marius does to Amadeo.

Anywhoo, back to the daddy stuff.

Like sure yeah it’s just there to be horny because I think Daddy Kink is absolutely present in canon, but Marius is enjoying this game they’re playing, too, even if he’s a little too proper to admit it. He likes taking Amadeo out and getting to protect him. He likes indulging in the kill when Amadeo is fucking wrecked, like it’s a sex act they can share. He likes that their victims think he’s Amadeo’s father. It makes him feel powerful.

And towards the end, when they’re talking about stoicism and whether or not you can simply turn your emotions off, it also leads into whether or not Amadeo can make the choice to remember where he comes from.

Canon doesn’t explicitly say this so this is where fic headcanon comes in, but I wanted to make it that Marius can see into Amadeo’s dreams, and I implied that he knows perfectly well exactly where Amadeo is from. He knows about the monastery, he knows about Andrei’s home life and his parents, he knows their names! So every day that passes in Venice where Marius doesn’t offer this information, or bring him home, is another day he’s chosen to keep Amadeo, and is ultimately selfish.

On the other hand, especially once the fic starts and Amadeo’s memories start coming back to him, Amadeo knows that Marius knows, and he never asks.

This is of course like, dubcon territory of like, SHOULD AMADEO HAVE TO ASK? Is Amadeo’s fragile mental state a clue that he cannot consent or make informed decisions? Is Marius behaving badly by allowing this wounded child to make his own decisions, or as the adult/immortal, even as the mentor/father/lover, should he guide Amadeo to do what’s right? And what exactly is the right decision?

But from the moment Amadeo realizes that Marius knows more about him than he reveals, Amadeo never asks, which means he’s making a decision to stay in Venice. And like, the morally correct thing is not really relevant here when Marius’s moral compass is so far removed from human sensibility, but it also affirms his desire to be wanted. He’s happy that Amadeo wants to stay and wants to be his pupil and his baby boy, so he’s not going to challenge it.

And that’s why he drops the names Ivan and Andrei in the final sex scene, as a climax to all of this. It’s serves both as one final way to challenge Amadeo, to ask if he TRULY doesn’t remember, but also serves to take on the ROLE of Ivan. He wants to be Amadeo’s Daddy. And even though the men in the room are teasing him about how he’s not actually going to sell Amadeo, how Amadeo must be his favorite, how he must be a freak, etc, he still owns Amadeo in this sense, and it allows him another level of release along with Amadeo’s sexual release.

WELL. I hope that makes sense!!! It made sense to me at the time when I was writing it. I love these two dweebs, please talk to me about them any time!

[helpwerami]

Osomatsusan headcanons cause I’m bored

This is more on a take on them in a more psychological/meta pov on them.

Osomatsu

-He’s still irresponsible as the show states repetitively, but I think there’s a deep under layered of anger issues. Maybe feeling like he’s stuck being unemployed and can’t change his life, or feels like his feelings are put on the sidelines.

-oso secretly very stressed but hides it by playing it down. Being the oldest but not the most matured may be a result of him trying to get some control of himself or over small things.

-He acts sexist and pervs on girls on the regular. I like incorporating the old show to the new one, specifically we’re oso was a ballerina,and wore womens swimsuits. So I like to think he secretly wants to be more feminine and dress feminine, but fears the shame or backlash of his family. He Avoids and projects his wants and desires in a more “masculine” manner instead.

-The problem with him at the root of it all is that he doesn’t want to change. He’s comfortable, he’s unfamiliar to change. Therefore he sees change as a threat.

-Oso’s anger makes him go quiet and visibly irritated. Storming off out of the house for a few hours before coming right back.

-He’s an alcoholic,smokes,gambles,unemployed,lives with his parents guy. He doesn’t want to change.

Karamatsu

-The most confident in himself. His fashion is questionable ofc but it shows how willing he his to present himself. Albeit his made up persona of himself.

-Closeted. His brothers have made comments of his clothes looking gay and how he acts is gay as-well, but he can take that. He thinks if he actually comes out he thinks he’s giving more ammo for his brothers to put him down

-Kara is secretly the most matured. He uses his persona as a shield to deflect his brothers judgement. Later in more recent seasons you see him start to not use his persona less and less, and his brothers caught on it even,but when faced with the confrontation he gets aggravated and even intimidates his brothers when he gets mad.

-On a more positive note I would like to think he got his jacket from

-Kara’s more of a job hopper. Never keeping one and doing small gigs like street shows or helping Chibita with his business.

Choromatsu

-he tries to act better or more mature than he really is. Helps his mother with taxes and some small chores but he uses this to put himself on a higher horse in comparison to his brothers.

-wares a collared shirt under his hoodie kind of shit.

-he gets very defensive about very small things. Considered being more short tempered than the sophisticated role he tries to put up.

- he hides his love for anime and idols away from his brothers because he’s ashamed of himself for liking it. Although most already know because he buys copious amounts of merch and tickets for idol shows.

-though he does look after his brothers in a more keeping tabs sort of way than a mom would. Comment or would ask if they’d showered or brush their teeth that day then lecture them to do so. This does help some of them positively to keep somewhat of a schedule.

-I want to say he’d might want to work at a manga/anime shop or something, but I’d doubt it. he’d be too ashamed to work at one. He feels like degenerates or creeps work at manga stores. (Even though that’s verbatim what he is.) would maybe end up in a book/convince store ran by an old lady.

Ichimatsu

-he’s my favorite so take some of this with a grain of salt.

-he hides how he feels. His antisocial behavior and dislike of the general public is why he turned to cats.

-uses cats as a coping mechanism and hyper fixation. Shows some signs of being on the spectrum be he doesn’t want to know the diagnosis/ answer to what specifically he has. He feels like it’s searching for an excuse for the way he is. (Not in a ableist way but more in a learned helplessness way.)

-low hygiene. Either Smells like cat piss or just body odor. His depression not helping him at that, choro runs his mouth at him on the regular for this. But instead of picking up that he’s maybe depressed, he calls him lazy and gross for ‘sulking in his filth’.

- oso and ichi are more closer in a bond because of their similar nature. The only difference between them is that oso is more accepting and chill about his current state. While ichi is more pessimistic and hopeless in his. Giving each other nicknames to show there on good terms.

-gets small jobs at local restaurants. working at the back cleaning dishes and taking out the trash.

-looks after jyushi. Finding solace in his more cheerful enthusiastic nature to his pessimistic one.

Jyushimatsu

-autistic with adhd. dresses more for comfort than to present himself. Highly energetic with not much sense of social cues or sarcasm.

-he’s more of a good influence on the brothers by bringing them outside when he wants to go out, instead of being shut-ins. He helps them have more to do than gamble or drink.

-i like to think he’d have a long distance relationship with him and Homura. Like todo got him a Nokia so he wouldn’t break it and to call her now and then. It would give him some one positive to talk to and she’d have him to talk to.

-he likes to hang out with ichi on the regular. Help ichi get out of the house, and then go feed stray cats in ally’s.

-maybe he’d volunteer at daycare’s or babysit if he needed to work. Showing in some episodes that he’s good with kids.

Todomatsu

-The most put together. Has his job at a cafe in the city and usually has good luck when gambling on pachinko.

-Openly gay with his family. They weren’t too surprised and he wasn’t to scared about it either since he already dressed in more pink and flamboyant clothing,and having friends that are mostly girls.or fuck it he had friends period.

-The most social brother. He tried to bring some of his brothers to mixers but it didn’t end up too well. Either in their brothers getting them kicked out or in other times or his own exclusion.

-I feel like he could move out if he wanted he makes his own income to have a phone and can walk or take a bus to his job. Maybe own an apartment of some kind.

-this might also go hand in hand with the fact he’s scared to be alone. He’s never not been alone for so long that when he finally is, it scares him. It’s unfamiliar to him.

-in the episode were they all got tortured in hell we saw the demon read his dairy. It said he wanted to dress like a girl and be like a girl, then you see him almost cry from the embarrassment.

-I think he’s questioning in his gender,but is to scared to explore that part of himself yet.

I do feel like As much as they hate or irritate each other, a key reason they don’t move out minus the money or occupation, is that their all unconsciously codependent on each other. If they even wanted to move out, the thought/feeling of being alone is so out their comfort zone and unfamiliar they’d rather spend their lives with familiarity.

[rearranged-fanfic]

What are your tips in writing the first chapter of the story? Cause I'm planning to write one, since I'll be working one book alone and the other is with a team of mine. And how are you, hope you're still healthy and safe❤️

That sounds super exciting!!! If you don't mind my asking, what kind of story are you working on?

I'm an amateur writer, so definitely take what I say with a grain of salt. But I have a few tips and tricks for starting a writing project that I kind of picked up from other people or from my own personal experience.

Would you like a whole ass guide to how I plan/write stories? Because I have one. Kind of. It's more like rambling, TBH. I'm sorry if none of this is useful; it's all word vomit.

This gonna be a long one, so more after the cut.

Before I even write a first chapter, I plan out the How. "How am I telling this story?" What do I want to get across to readers with my writing style? How do I want this interpreted? What style am I going for? This is the story's identity. It's how the reader's inner voice talks in their head when they scan lines of text.

The first chapter sets the standard for the rest of the book, so it's important to have all of this in mind when you're still drafting it out. I usually mull this over before I start typing anything.

This is stuff I think about while outlining.

The How: Storytelling Styles

There are four major contributors to the story's style, IMO: Point of View, Tense, Tone, and Flow.

Point of View

I decide right out of the gate whether I'm writing in first person, second person, third person limited, or third person plural/omniscient. Each POV has their own strengths and weaknesses. Experiment and see what fits the best for you.

First Person (I, me, we, ect.) puts us directly into the shoes of the main character. We experience things together. Because of this, we feel the protagonist's actions more clearly as though they were our own. It's a more intimate story building experience. This POV excels at creating a close and personal bond between the reader and main character. And because the reader only sees one POV, it can be a good way to create tension and intrigue. It's also one of the easiest to write, because the author will only follow a single character's arc to completion. In theory, anyway. And there's also the added benefit that comes with First person: the unnamed, undescribed protagonist.

This POV can be tricky to write because the author has to be aware of what the reader knows at all times. Since they're only following the words of a single character, their knowledge is limited. So the author must be careful to give the reader knowledge in a way that's organic and interesting. Avoiding infodumping can be hard. Exposition is the bane of my existence.

The weaknesses of this POV are apparent with larger ensemble casts. It can be hard to balance out a number of characters while still maintaining the illusion that they're only REALLY following the story's mouthpiece. Avoid POV swaps, because they're very confusing and cluttered. Not to mention that they're hard to do well because of the radical change in character personalities.

First Person is perfect for self-inserts where they are learning about the world around them, thrillers that require unreliable narrators, and mysteries where the reader has to "discover" what's going on. That's usually how I use it. It's my preferred POV.

Second Person (You, your, you're, ect.) makes the reader the main character by directly involving them in the story. This has the same strengths as First Person: creating a bond between the reader and the story, limiting knowledge and invoking an unreliable narrator, and keeping the storytelling simple. This POV is the BEST at immersion. Bar none. And it's perfect for tongue-in-cheek and self-aware stories like parodies.

It also has the same weaknesses as First Person, as well: difficulty giving exposition in an organic way and limiting large casts.

There's an added level of difficulty with Second Person, though. It's extremely hard to do well. The author has to avoid alienating the audience. Because readers of (y/n) insert themselves into book, it's off-putting for them to read something that doesn't align with themselves. Things like the wrong hair color, skin tone, height weight can all affect a reader's experience. That's why so many authors of Second Person cut corners and use (h/c) for hair color, (e/c) for eye color, and so on. This is totally fine if it fits the vibe the writer is going for, but it can ruin the flow of the story. I just avoid using descriptors at all, honestly.

My least favorite POV. I actively try to avoid it at all costs, but it can be effective as a literary tool.

Third Person (He, she, they, them) Limited follows a single named character from outside of their body. Think of it as viewing the world from over their shoulder, rather than through their eyes. The reader will be slightly more aware of the world around them, but will still be limited in their knowledge.

Hits a lot of the same notes as First Person. The difference is the closeness between the reader and the main character. Third Person creates distance between the book and the real world by never claiming that the main character and the reader are the same person.

The author will also have to make their character "visually" distinct and come up with a full description of their main character to keep them separate from the other characters.

Probably the most used POV.

Third Person (He, she, they, them) Plural/Omniscient is built specially for beginners. The reader knows the thoughts and feelings of multiple/every character. This makes it a snap to switch between any and all relevant characters in the story to learn about them and the plot.

This can be a fun way to create tension and literary irony, since the reader will know the actions of another character, while a different character moves to oppose them.

This POV is strong with big stories, but falls flat in self-contained or shorter ones. It tends to remove the intrigue of a mystery, horror, or thrillers.

The easiest to use, IMO.

Decide which POV fits best based on the story you want to tell. That's step one of cultivating the writing style that you want to keep for the book. It helps to read aloud and see which one sets the right mood.

Tense

The tense is the time period in which the story is told. Not the date, rather, when the audience is involved in the story. Does the reader jump in at the present or are they being told this story in the past?

There are two main tenses that authors tend to use: Past and Present, and Present Progressive. There's also future, but that's too niche for me to worry about here. Not important. Moving on.

Past Tense (Was, did, ran) places the reader in the events of the past. Pretty self-explanatory. This story has already happened. Everything that a character lives through has already come to pass.

This tense's strength lies with the expectation that everything is over and done with. This can create a sense of longing for days gone by or a feeling of melancholy that certain friends didn't make it to the end of the story. It also feels less urgent and more relaxed. Some of the stakes are lower because there's an expectation that somebody lived to tell the tale.

Especially devastating if the story in question is a tragedy or bittersweet ending that subverts the aforementioned expectation.

Almost all officially published books are past tense. It's the easiest to write in because EVERYTHING happened "long" ago.

Present Tense (Is, do, run) places the reader in the events of the present. They are currently living this story. It's happening and the world is currently being shaped around them as events unfold.

This is my favorite tense because it makes the reader feel more like they're a pert of what's happening. To them, it's not some distant event, but something they're actively living. All of the emotional beats are fresh and feel a bit more heavy-hitting. Of course, this is my personal opinion.

This tense excels at building tension and making the reader more aware of the small changes that a character is observing. Perfect for anything psychological.

Where this tense loses efficacy, I think, is in fairy tale or fantasy type novels. I feel like the gravitas is lost, and the book feels less like a legend.

Present Progressive Tense (Is, doing, running) places the reader actively in the events of the story. As in, they're always in the middle of doing something.

This can make the reader feel like an active, contributing member of the cast, but it tends to become exhausting over a long book. If I read something and I'm always in the middle of a verb, I leave feeling a bit worn out.

This is the hardest tense to do and do WELL. Not recommended for beginners.

Again, try different tenses and reading aloud. It really helps. Experimentation is key. And tense is something very, very hard to fix later if you decide you don't like it. Editing verbs to be past/present tense takes FOREVER. Trust me.

Tone

How does the author's mouthpiece speak to the reader? There are A LOT of different tones that the author can use. And they can change depending on the character's mood/current events. But it's helpful to establish a baseline.

I usually place these into two different categories: informative and emotive.

An Informative Tone in a story is the author straightforwardly telling the audience something. "Character X went here and did Y". It's a basic way of letting the reader know what actions have been taken.

Most of the time, the author's tone will probably be informative. The author's job is to tell the story, and move the characters like pieces on a board around. The author has to get across setting, characters, actions, and motivations in a way that the reader can understand and identify with. Most descriptions in general will be informative in tone. In fact, most of the story will probably be in an informative tone.

On the other hand, Emotive Tones will probably be used more sparingly to manipulate the reader's feelings. Emotive Tones can come in all sorts of flavors. For every emotion, there's a tone to go along with it: sad, happy, angry, skeptical, sarcastic. Any emotional response somebody can think of, there's a tone that fits it.

Emotional Tones should be used to create drama for the reader. Something sad happening? Use intentionally sad language. Want the opposite? Steer clear of anything gloomy.

Tones are determined by word choice. Not only that, but by things like adding adjectives and adverbs and manipulating sentence structure. Adding descriptions to events and drawing attention to the details the author deems important.

Here's an informative tone: "Augary was mistakenly shot in the chest by an arrow."

It tells us exactly what we need to know. But how should we feel about it?

Here's an emotive tone with a sad overlay: "Augary's poor, gentle heart was pierced by stray arrow."

This conveys that we should be sad for what happened. We sympathize with Augary's death because he is described to be a "poor, gentle" person. The imagery of his heart being pierced, as opposed to an arrow simply striking his chest, is more visceral. And the fact that the arrow was stray reinforced the tragedy of it all.

Pick and choose when to use the different tones. Emotive tones are really great at creating good will for characters. And informative tones are better for exposition.

Different tenses will also change the tone of the story. For example, a Third Person story will have less emotive beats than one in First or Second Person. Since the audience is more closely "linked" to the mouthpiece character in First and Second Persons, they're more likely to get into that character's head and feel what they do.

Third Person Plural/Omniscient will likely be the most informative in tone out of all the tenses, since it's the most distant from the core of the characters.

I really like starting the first chapter with emotion in a story. It's a fantastic way to build some good will with the perspective character immediately. The readers will feel more invested in a character if they feel they know them more intimately. And people tend to be more emotion-driven than fact-driven.

A story starting with a person describing a bedroom is less likely to hook me than one narrating the loss of a family member, for example.

A good way to establish tone is - you guessed it - try reading aloud. Mess around with what word choices feel the most natural to you when you're trying to come across as sad, happy, funny, ect.

Flow

Flow in a story is essentially the "author's voice". How do you want to come across to readers? All of it is rooted in things like prose, grammar, and story layout. But it also makes used of everything I've talked about above.

I have different voices for different stories, depending on how I want my story to be told.

In my experience, there's a pretty large sliding scale of writing styles. I usually place my works somewhere on a spectrum between Casual and Formal.

Casual Flow, for me, is a more conversational type of author's voice. The author talks "with" the reader, rather than "to" them. The author isn't afraid to ignore and abuse grammatical rules for the sake of furthering the vibe of the story. They'll have run-on sentences, sentence fragments, and cut themselves off for effect. They'll also use formatting to their advantage, having extra-long skips between paragraphs to emphasize the passing of time or butchering punctuation for funzies.

This flow uses basic, easier to digest prose. Vocabulary is less complex. Sentence structure is more lax. Sneak in modern slang. Make references. Everything is easy, peasy.

That said, it can make stories feel less important or even dated.

Casual stories are best used in the modern day, with characters that we're meant to empathize with immediately. I use First Person because it goes really well with this way of storytelling.

Formal Flow, referred to pretty commonly as Purple Prose is much, much, much stricter. It's talking "to" the reader, rather than "with" them. Formal writing tends to be rigid in the following of the rules of writing. Commas and periods must be in their proper place. No undue italicization or bolding of words.

Not as fun, but it adds to the gravitas of whatever story the author is telling. Everything feels bigger, more important, more timeless.

Things like historical fiction make great use of this style. But, boy, can it be hard to use.

Setting a Style

When you mix up all of these things, you create the story's style. Writing style is important because it's THE defining factor in how well your story connects with the intended audience.

Here's a scene with a mix and match of styles so you can see what I mean.

1) A person looks out a window after a day at work (my usual style): First Person POV, Present Tense, Emotive, Casual.

Work was supposed to be easy today. Yeah, right. I meander over to my window, shoulders heavy. Peering outside into the dim darkness of the night, I sigh. Long day, today; it was a later shift than I'd wanted. I'm exhausted. Too tired to keep from slumping against the sill, I drape myself over it like a limp piece of cloth. Damn. I don't want to go back tomorrow. Overhead, the moon catches my eye - a crescent claw in the black backdrop.

2) A person looks out a window after a day at work (so far from what I'm comfortable with it's not even funny): Third Person Limited POV, Past tense, Informative, Semi-Formal.

Contrary to the belief that her first day wouldn't be difficult, Bernadette found herself quite exhausted. With each step, she made her way to the lip of her window, which she opened to the coolness of the night air. It was dark out, perhaps darker than she'd seen in a while. A fair bit darker than she'd expected to arrive home to, in any case. Weariness dragged her down to lean against the sill. Cupping her cheek in hand, she raised her eyes to appraise the crescent moon glowing above. And while she pondered the moon, she also pondered whether or not she should return to work the next day.

See? Totally different vibe, despite the fact that the same actions were essentially taken.

So play around and see what vibe you want to go for. In the end, there's no real wrong choice. As long as the author is happy with their work, that's all that matters.

Now that I've gone over pre-writing, I'll actually get to the damn point and tell you what I put into a first chapter.

The Who: Important Parts of a First Chapter

In school, I was always taught that the first chapter is an establishing chapter, so it HAS to have X thing in it or Y thing. Like, my teacher was always going on and on about how our class had to hit all the big W's: Who, What, When, Where, and Why. These are things that eventually have to be established in your story, yes. But I feel like holding to those rigid requirements immediately really drags a story down. Each story is unique, and the way you tell it should reflect that.

The information should be given to the reader in such a way that it's organic to read and absorb. If the author smooshes too much into too small a section of text, the reader can be overwhelmed and confused.

So here's what I prioritize first.

I ignore the What, When, and Where. Those can be added in and fleshed out later. All that matters for a first chapter is the Who and Why.

Who is the main character and why should I be invested in their story?

First step, establish your character. I usually write out a character sheet with every little bit of info that I can think of about them, even if I'm not sure if it'll be used in the story at all.

Flesh out that character and make them into a real person, because you're about to spend a very long time with them.

I give them likes, dislikes, have a relationship chart, keep track of their physical characteristics. This might sound like overkill, but when you write longfics it can be a savior. Seriously. It's nice being able to just look at the character sheet for information, rather than rereading EVERYTHING again.

So, I have two necessary things that I ALWAYS establish about a main character in the first chapter. Firstly, I give them a very obvious flaw. All character should have flaws to make them more human and more relatable. And also to give them something to improve later. Secondly, I give them a motivation or conflict that directly correlates to the aforementioned flaw.

For Reader-chan in REARRANGED, her flaw is her Depression and her inability to process her crippling grief. It's not outright stated that she has Depression, but the implication is heavy. And her grief is essentially stonewalled until something forces it. She's compartmentalizing. Her motivation/conflict is to eventually "feel better" pertaining to the death of her mom and the alienation of her sister.

How she changes during the course of the story is in response to the original flaw and conflict that I established in chapter 1. We see her struggle continuing, even into chapter 16.

I like giving them a flaw early on because it sets up the audience expectation that the character will have room to grow. And I like immediately being open with the personal conflict because it allows the audience to have something to root for and look forward to as the main plot progresses.

They already have a personal stake in wanting the main character to be/do better, even if the main conflict (war, transmigration, romance) hasn't even started yet.

A strong main character is important because if they don't care about the character, most readers won't care about the story. The goal of the story is for the character to be altered by it. The audience has to want that alteration.

Keep in mind that the character doesn't have to be "likeable", either. There are plenty of reprehensible characters that readers want to follow, even if they aren't nice or charismatic. In fact, I'd argue that it's BECAUSE they aren't nice or charismatic.

They just have to be something that will resonate with the reader. And the main character doesn't have to resonate with ALL readers, either. There WILL be an audience, even if your main character is niche with a very, very specific characterization.

The bottom line is that the author, you, are happy with your creation. Like I said, you'll be spending a lot of time with them. Make a character that you want to write, or that you would want to read yourself.

Don't be afraid if your chapter is short. It lets audiences breathe a bit and lets them get used to their new "roommate". Dont' try to squeeze too much in; sometimes less is more.

The second chapter onwards is where I slowly introduce the supporting cast, the main plot, the worldbuilding, ect. For me, the main character will ALWAYS be the most important literary component of any story.

Aaaand that's usually all that I worry about putting into my first chapter. For me, the first chapter is more about establishing the style than anything else. So I spend A LOT of time on pre-writing. I have test drafts to get a feel for everything, and I scrap A LOT of material if I don't like the vibe.

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Of course, all of this is subjective. Like I said. I'm still an amateur.

IDK if I answered your question well or if I rambled for a million hours about nothing. But I'd rather give you a waterfall of nonsense to parse through than nothing of value.

Sorry if you took nothing away from this. But if you did, I'm always happy to help! Best of luck on your project!!!!

Much love, as always! And many smooches 😘😘😘

[justalittlebluetiefling]

I am honestly very confused by Ashton's whole POV right now and wish someone would just ask him if he wants to stop Ludinus' plan or just stop Ludinus, but go through the plan himself??? Because otherwise why are they even debating about the gods right now if the only known way to kill them is to release predathos? Which I thought everyone agreed was a BAD idea? I'm just confused because I feel like all the arguments just go in circles and nothing is ever decided. I did miss the last hour or so.

I feel like this post sums it up pretty well. It's really a brilliant distraction technique from Ludinus, as this post points out.

Below the cut because this got long.

Anyway, I will admit to being less than engaged with this campaign, so take what I say next with a grain of salt. Ashton's life sucked. Obviously. We all know that. I do think it's interesting that they're latching onto this 'the gods are bad' so hard considering the ritual that kind of ruined their life was actually tied to Ka'mort, a Primordial, and not a god. But you know, past trauma is deeply tied to the way they've been reacting to this. I know I saw another post about this, too, but I can't find it. And I think Ashton actually said it in game. How Ashton is the most similar to Ludinus in this. Ludinus is so blinded by vengeance that he isn't looking past his goal and that is exactly how Ashton is approaching this. In their opinion, the fallout doesn't matter, because people are already dying in the name of the gods. Why does the scale people are dying on make much of a difference when they might have died anyway?

I would probably be a little more willing to hear his POV out if he weren't recycling a lot of the same rhetoric as Ludinus. I am trying to remember that we got more information from Downfall than they all did and that I went in it more willing to forgive the Primes for their actions, because I think wizard hubris is super fun and worth dying for and sometimes you dig too deeply and you have to expect that eventually, something is going to bite back. But that's not the point here.

My point is that I get your confusion, but I also think that their perspective is really interesting if we think about the things they're focusing on. Like, yes, "nothing should be that powerful" is a big one. But most of what they kept pointing out was the fact that the gods view each other as family. Which is really simplifying their whole deal, but we do what we have to as mortals to understand something. MY POINT THOUGH. And the thing I think is super interesting here: Ashton seems to feel more betrayed by the Primes working with the Betrayers again than anything else. They keep bringing that up. I'm not sure if I'm reading too much into it, but they seem less focused on the mass destruction (because again, people are always dying) than that the Betrayers and the Primes made an alliance. In Ashton's words, they worked together happily. Ashton didn't pick up on any of the hesitance. They didn't pick up on Sarenrae working with Asmodeus out of necessity or the way Dawnchild was always trying to keep himself between the two. He noticed how much the Wildmother missed the Betrayers. On the sort of morbid way the Betrayers also missed the Primes. "If I promise to take care of you, can I torture you forever?" "One day, I'm going to spin you up in my web and never you let go."

I do generally feel less qualified to speculate on Tal's characters, because I don't always click with them but as frustrating as Ashton's perspective is here, I also think it's so interesting that what they're focusing on is exactly what Ludinus wants everyone to focus on. It is very much not someone looking at the bigger picture. At the endgame. They're reacting exactly the way Ludinus hopes everyone reacts. It's frustrating, but it makes sense to me.

[recurring-polynya]

So, a thing that is happening at my house right now is that the youngest Polynya decided she wanted to start watching Bleach. That's too much to unpack right now, the upshot is, I am rewatching Bleach. Yesterday, we got to the parakeet episodes, and I was enchanted by this little exchange here, as Chad is getting ready to throw Rukia at Shrieker:

As I'm sure you all know, I adore the peculiarities of Soul Society speech, particularly early in the series. The first place my brain went was @littleeyesofpallas 's post about how the four gates of the Seireitei correspond to the Four Auspicious Beasts. In this case, "the direction of the tiger" would be west, which is...not left, although I suppose if you were being a little dumb about it, you could say from the POV of the view, north is up, west is to the left? Feels like a stretch.

After a little googling, I found out that the "direction of the tiger" could mean a number of things. In kung fu, tigers are associated with forward movement. While I could certainly see the shinigami combat styles including that kind of terminology (not that we've seen any evidence of it), it does not seem like a particularly good way of telling someone how to aim. (Also, all the websites I found on this topic were mildly shady western kung fu schools, so please take that with the appropriate grain of salt)

I also saw a few astrology references, which at first didn't seem right, but what meant was using the animals of the Chinese zodiac as clock directions. This system was used in Edo era timekeeping, and I half-joking posited before that they use this system in Soul Society. In this case, the hour of the tiger is 3:00-5:00 a.m.. Keep in mind that this system segments the day into 24 segments, not 12, so 3-5am is roughly where 8 o'clock would be on a western clock (there's a diagram in that time-keeping post), which could reasonably be interpreted as "left", I think, if you consider "noon" to be "forward", although it seems like it would be a lot further left than the animation indicates. (Edit: I guess this is still west, if you were to line it up with a compass, which obviously makes sense, but I think it's more common to use clock directions for relative direction where as compass directions are by definitely absolute directions)

I didn't mention it, but the first thing I actually did after watching the episode was to dig out the manga panel.

It doesn't mention the direction of the tiger thing at all, so I assumed that there was some localization going on in one or the translations, although I have no way of knowing which. It does use clock directions, though (although 1 o'clock is neither 3-5am, nor is it left).

Anyway, my best working theory at the moment is that Rukia is giving directions in zodiac animal-based clock time, which the anime subs and Viz have chosen to localize in slightly different ways.

The reason I put that clip in as a video instead of a gif is so the audio would be included. I would love it if anyone who speaks Japanese, or anyone who has the manga raws wanted to weigh in further.

[piviani]

enhypen comeback reading

( disclaimer: please do remember to take my readings with a grain of salt. i am in no way a professional tarot reader and all of this are alleged and is for entertainment purposes only. )

comeback sucess domestically

three of cups rx - the hanged man rx - queen of wands

wow i didnt really expect this to be honest haha but nevermind. this comeback might have give mixed feelings to their home country. (this is random but i think they should be beware with scandals or like issues in general..?) as youll see after, ive mentioned below about their theme being something new again; a type of song new to kpop (bighit loves experimenting sm lol), so this could give up a mixed feeling to koreans as theyre not used to this type of song, i think? maybe? they’re really gonne be indecisive with what they’ll feel about this. however with the queen of wands — which is a positive card, we’ll definitely see an improvement with their success domestically! not that big though which is unfortunate, however we could definitely see a difference between the last comeback and now on.

though there will have both feelings regarding their comeback i could definitely see the positive outcome exceeding more. most will feel positive about this which will lead to sucess. they could get music show wins? im not really seeing it as a comeback that’ll do really big domestically but itll earn sucess. not as much as they’ll be internationally but like yall get it.

comeback sucess internationally

PoP.. YEAH theyll get that bag lol this comeback could really make them gain new opportunities and establish a name inside kpop where its only specifically for them. definitely not just gain money but more fans as well. im just wary of the devil because this card usually leads to no good. there might have tendencies they’ll get to sabotage themselves in the long run or for this upcoming season of their comeback (issues incoming) so they should be careful and not be careless just because they already established a name. its best to be cautious.

and it seems like its likely that enhypen are really expecting more and higher sucess too with this upcoming comeback and will just become disappointed with the outcome in the end because they expected more… however this is all honestly in ther head :) it’ll really bring more sucess and opportunities to them! they just expect high outcome most of the time which is not technically a bad thing but 😁 (they’re really driven people and craves for sucess.)

comeback theme/concept

seven of swords rx - ace of swords - three of wands rx

for their theme, first thing that really came to my mind as i pulled the cards was out of the three cards i pulled — 2 of them suits was the sword, which is connected to the air element which usually associates with masculinity, which is actually an obvious fact now that their comeback correlates with masculinity lol however with the 7oSr and AoS, their theme for this comeback could be seen from the fans pov as something fresh? new? (another experiment song maybe?) song or like its instrumental could be something that isn’t really heard inside kpop honestly. Now focusing on AoS and 3oWr, for AoS — royalty? mountains? ocean? i can see a crown included? and of course a sword! :) which was already shown in the concept trailer.

(im not good with knowing keywords so please bear with me 😭 not an english speaker too so this is a bit hard lmao back to the reading) for 3oWr, chaos.. rebelions.. im seeing past? something like that and tbh im seeing overseas too which was already shown as they filmed scenes outside korea. and maybe the theme is even something traditional?

keywords: recklessness. rebelliousness? (their concept have always been something about being rebel like) nature. royalty. i can see a crown. swords. fighting. battle between mind and what you truly desire type of concept. conflicts. something about emotions that is usually associated with fire. (madness, insanity, destruction) tradition. sorrowness. castles. nature. mountains. lakes. reminiscing. beginning. leaves? branches?

note: this is really rushed as i still have tons of tasks to do so please bear with me if there are grammatical errors or things u might have not understand in general.

[reading was done at May 2, 2023.]

[ellethespaceunicorn]

Bright Like The Moon: Chapter 4

Chapter 4: We Showed The World That We Exist

Rating: Explicit, 18+, Minors - DNI

Fandom: Night Hunter

Pairing: Walter Marshall x Black!OFC 

Word count: 5.1K

Summary: Kamaria Mansfield is hired at the Minnesota Police Department as an intern. Detective Walter Marshall is overworked and unsatisfied. Takes place post-film.

Chapter Summary: Kamaria and Walter play hooky to deal with unforeseen stressors.

Chapter warnings: panic attack (dissociation episode), oral sex (f receiving), finger fucking, therapy session, squirting 

A/N: Time jumps in this chapter. We’re only skipping a couple of days but it may be a little jarring. But Yada is back!! Un-beta’d, we die like people who tried their best.

Dividers: @firefly-graphics

Support/Reblog banner by me

Cover Art by me

Cross-posted on AO3

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

Kamaria’s POV

Word has spread like wildfire around the office about me and Walter dating. It didn’t take long at all for news that the grumpy bear of a detective and the new intern are fucking. We actually aren’t even doing that, yet. It’s only been a few days but the rumor mill in the police station is like a damn high school hallway. And I have Nina and Sophie to thank for that.

I swear, no one listens to interns. Like, ever. Unless it is about gossip. And I made friends with the loudest, and the actual kindest, gossipmongers. I know they mean well, they’ve made it clear they are glad that Walter smiles more. I like being the cause of his change of mood, as well.

With everyone aware of our relationship, things are kind of weird. Like, weird around the ex, kind of weird. 

It’s not like Rachel and Walter were super friendly after they decided not to date. Sometimes, and I would never tell Walter this, I feel like he felt for Rachel because she saved his life. A case of transference, perhaps?

But, they at least seemed cordial towards each other. Rachel felt enough of a connection to reach for his hand, the thought still burns in my mind. But Walter and I did have our first kiss after that, so grain of salt, ya know?

Rachel just seems like someone pissed in her oatmeal every time she walks by me. She couldn’t possibly be jealous of me. I don’t get her, honestly. Is it an “if she can’t have him, no one can” thing? Because I wouldn’t have thought she would go for pettiness. Never underestimate a woman on a mission, though. 

Walter and I agree to get to work a bit early so we could hang out in his office until I have to start work. The man may be seen as prickly by most people in the office, but it is like night and day when it comes to me. He can be so thoughtful, and so in tune with my emotions that it can be like he’s reading my mind. Which is both cute and slightly annoying, because I can never hide what I’m feeling. 

Like this morning, for example. My mind has been racing. So many things to think about, from my work to Walter to Rachel to my anxiety about dating openly in the office to what I’m going to choose to talk about in therapy today. And I can’t seem to make it stop or slow down. Which is when I feel a hand on mine. 

I look up to see Walter crouching next to the chair I’m sitting in. I don’t remember sitting down. I barely remember walking into this office.

“There she is,” he says, brushing a hand over my confused brow, “you had me so worried back there.” I notice the fear in his eyes now.

“Sometimes, my anxiety takes over and I just check out,” I mutter, looking around the office, “I remember getting out of my car and kissing you and then nothing until just now.”

“Does this happen a lot?” I hear the tremble in his voice but I don’t mention it.

“Hasn’t happened in months. I can usually sense it before other people can, though. Sort of like a panic attack, but not really because I don’t panic, I just…move? It’s hard to explain,” I ramble on, trying to get my bearings.

“It sounds like your brain is working on autopilot due to stress. I’m no therapist, but I’ve seen how stress can affect people in different ways,” he suggests, holding my hand in his, “I hope I’m not overstepping here, but a new relationship becoming public can be quite stressful. Especially when it’s in a work setting where one person’s ex is also a coworker. It’s no wonder you’re feeling like this.”

“Well, when you put it like that, I can’t deny that it is a lot,” I concede, feeling all sorts of vulnerable.

“You have therapy today around 1, right?” he asks before I nod to confirm, “And where is your therapist’s office?”

“Well, I was going to do it virtually today. But she’s close-ish. Between here and my apartment,” I answer, wondering where this is going.

“I have a suggestion, which you are more than welcome to decline. But, in my head, it sounds like a good id-”

“Baby, you’re babbling,” I laugh, stopping his rant.

“I think you should ask to see your therapist in person. We can take the rest of the day off and I could drive you to the appointment if you’d like,” he urges, “Besides, it’s the weekend. They won’t mind if we skip out a bit early.”

“Skip out early? I didn’t even clock in yet,” I remind him, still thinking about work instead of my mental health. Very typical of me.

“Perfect, then. I still have personal time to use, and you told me you were given some personal time when you signed on, so that covers today. We’ll let your manager know you’re not feeling well on the way out,” he says, moving about his office and collecting his things before realizing I’m yet unmoving, “Fuck! Did I just plan your entire day?”

I smile up at him, adoration in my eyes. “You did, but with the best of intentions,” I comment, standing up from the chair, “You’re right, though. I kinda need the routine of going into the office today and I could use a day off even if it’s only my first week.”

“Look at you, already smiling. I count that as a win,” he hums, reaching for my hand, squeezing as our fingers interlace.

We head out of the station after a short talk with my boss. Tell a man you’re having ‘feminine trouble’ and he all but shoos you out of the building. Thank God for small favors.

Walter heads home after insisting I go home to change clothes and grab whatever I needed to feel comfortable for the rest of the day at his place. Arriving home, I immediately start to pack my overnight bag. I choose to ignore the nagging voice questioning my actions. I might want to stay over or change clothes again for some reason. So, take that, Nag-atha Christie!

I call my therapist’s office and request to come into the office today. I say that my schedule has changed and I would prefer to be seen in the office. The receptionist is super sweet and lets me know she will inform Yada of the change. I hope Yada doesn’t worry. I mean, I’m slightly worried about my little episode earlier but I feel at least a bit better now.

I change into some yoga pants, a loose-fitting top, a hoodie, and some comfy old sneakers. I spot Beary Allen sitting atop my bed and resign to bringing him over to Walter’s house as well. I usually can’t sleep without him so I don’t chastise myself too much for bringing along something for comfort. 

I check my overnight bag to make sure I have everything I need, and some stuff I don’t need but I want to have just in case. And if I reach into my nightstand and grab condoms, then that is my business until it is Walter and I’s business. Not that I plan on doing anything, but I like being prepared for multiple eventualities. In any case, I refuse to let myself feel anything but poised for success. I also refuse to define success, so there’s the end of that.

I hear Walter’s text tone going off in my pocket and pull out my phone.

Walter Marshall: Didn’t change your mind did you, Princess?

Me: Of course not!

Me: I was just making sure I have everything

Me: Including Beary Allen

Me: 😁

Walter Marshall: The…Flash? But like, a bear?

Me: I love that you get exactly what I meant

Me: And you haven’t even met Beary

Walter Marshall: I was right???

Me: You’ll meet him soon

Me: He’s my emotional support animal

Me: I’m leaving now to come to you

You have shared your location.

Me: Now, you can tell where I am at all times

Me: Just as a safety thing

Walter Marshall: Wow ok

Walter Marshall: Thank you for trusting me with this

Me: You’re welcome

Me: Try to act like you didn’t follow my location the entire time I was on my way to your place 😉

Walter Marshall: No promises

I’m already back in my car by the time his text comes through, I know he’s gonna follow me the whole way to his house. It’s honestly adorable. I can tell he misses me when I’m not around. He likes me, and I like him too. It doesn’t take me long to get to his house and he’s standing outside when I park in the driveway.

“You failed to play it cool, Detective,” I laugh, grabbing my overnight bag and Beary from the passenger seat before exiting my car.

“I never promised to play it cool,” he smiles, reaching out to take my overnight bag from me, “Hmm, planning on staying a bit?” 

“I figured it would be best to be prepared,” I propose, clutching onto Beary, secretly glad that Walter didn’t offer to take him as well. No one has ever touched Beary besides me.

“May I address Mr. Allen directly? Or does he only speak with you?” he poses the question completely seriously.

It takes every ounce of my resolve not to melt. “You may address him directly.”

“Mr. Allen, may I call you Beary?” he waits for a response, “I just want you to know I plan on taking care of Kam during her stay here, however long that may be…Yes, of course…I wouldn’t dream of it. So we have an understanding. Shake on it?” He reaches out and shakes Beary’s tiny paw, winking at me as he pulls his hand back. If he’s not careful, I will fall so fucking hard for this man.

Walter takes my hand, kisses it gently, and brings me inside. I start to lean down to remove my shoes, but he stops me and kneels to do it himself.

“You don’t have to-” I start, before being cut off.

“I know I don’t have to, Princess,” he agrees, placing my shoes next to his, “but I want to take care of you today, so allow me to do so, please?”

I open my mouth to protest, but a stern look from Walter makes me rethink that choice and only nod.

“Good girl,” he praises, standing up to hover over me, “I know it must be hard to let someone take care of you, but since I’ve taken on that role, I plan on not having you lift a finger if I can help it. Sorry, not sorry.”

“That’s some Prince Charming shit right there,” I blurt out, there goes my filter flying away in the wind again. Luckily, Walter just laughs at that and kisses my forehead. 

We end up hanging out around his house for a few hours, having far too many snacks and too much coffee. What can I say, we’re both caffeine addicts and snack goblins. The only reason I ignore the voice telling me I’ve had enough snacks is the fact that Walter is hand-feeding me pieces of fruit. He was not kidding about me not lifting a finger. I could get used to this.

Before long, Walter is helping me put my shoes on so that we can head to my therapist appointment. He opens his truck door for me and even buckles me in, shooing my hands away. Holding my hand as he drives, he allows me to pick the music we listen to. When I joke ‘but I thought the driver picks the music and shotgun shuts his cakehole’, he has no clue what I’m talking about. I explain it away as a tv show reference, making sure to force him to watch Supernatural with me at some point.

As The Amazing Devil’s ‘Two Minutes’ is ending, we are pulling up to Yada’s office. I don’t even try to reach for my door handle, waiting for Walter to come around to my side of the vehicle. He lifts me out of the truck and I try not to smile too wide at that. Holding my hand as we cross the parking lot, he steps in front of me to open the door, allowing me to walk in first. I check in with the receptionist and we sit in the lobby holding hands again. This man likes to hold my hand, and I am not complaining about it.

I hear Yada’s office door open and she steps out to greet me. She visibly registers my hand intertwined with the man to my left. I stand, pulling Walter up with me by accident. 

“Don’t worry, he’s gonna wait out here. Let’s go,” I sputter, moving past Yada and into the office. I notice Yada isn’t following me when I sit down. I hear introductions being exchanged and silently die inside. Why does it feel like my mom is meeting my boyfriend? Wait, is he my boyfriend? Oh my God, is he my boyfriend?

Yada comes back into the room and sits in her armchair, grabbing her notebook and writing quickly in it before addressing me. “So, let’s address the elephant in the room, or should I say the giraffe in my lobby. That man is tall as hell. And very pretty,” she jabbers on, smiling away at me, “Tell me all about him.”

I go on to tell her we met, or more correctly he saved my life, just before my last therapy appointment. I mention Faye and that we haven’t met yet. I talk about being in almost constant communication since I gave him my number on Monday. We discuss how he likes to take care of me, and that he did so after I told him about the whole Christopher thing. During this, she is taking notes in her book. When I bring up my episode this morning, she looks up at me.

“So, it sounds like Walter was able to ground you during a moment of dissociation. About how long did it last?” she asks.

“For just a few minutes. I remember getting out of my car, but from walking into the station to Walter effectively ‘waking me up’...it’s just like I was watching myself move but I wasn’t totally in control.” I murmur, finding my favorite spot on the rug.

“I see, can you remember this ever happening before?”

“The last time it happened was maybe five or six months ago after I had to quit the job at the prison infirmary. It was just too stressful. And I guess I have been kinda stressed the past couple of days. Everybody at work knows Walter and I are dating thanks to a couple of friends I made. Nina and Sophie are sweet but they have loose lips.”

“Either way, I am glad you made friends,” she smiles, taking a note, “Are there any other stressors besides a new public relationship?” 

“His ex works at the station too. She’s been kinda giving me the stink eye when we pass each other. She hasn’t said or done anything. But like, she obviously still feels something for him,” I admit, rolling my eyes, “But if that chicken thinks she’s getting anywhere near my coop, she has got another thing coming.”

“Calm down, we don’t need you to be unprofessional in the workplace, no matter how she acts toward you,” she reasons, even though I only half-listen, “Does Walter know about Rachel’s behavior?”

“No, because I don’t want to sound like I’m crazy. I feel crazy. She probably just has resting bitch face?” 

“I think you should tell him about the looks she has been giving you. Get his opinion on it before you discount your feelings completely. He might be able to shed some light on her behavior, or even better, he may be able to speak with her on terms she can understand. And that don’t involve you clubbing her like a seal and hiding the body behind the police station. But you didn’t hear that from me. That’s off the record, Your Honor.” she muses, winking at me before taking notes.

I agree to talk to Walter about Rachel and we decide this will be my homework for this week. Not difficult, but still awkward to start speaking about. I mean, how do you tell your significant other that their ex is problematic without seeming territorial or threatened? Rachel doesn’t strike me as the type to try and come in between Walter and me, but I will be keeping my eyes peeled.

“So are you and Walter using protection?” Out of nowhere, Yada hits me with that question.

“Yada! We haven’t even done anything yet? Jesus, woman,” I cover my face, happy again that my espresso skin doesn’t show the heat behind my cheeks.

“Yet being the optimal word. Got it. Well, use protection. You have every right to have sex and every right to protect yourself. So, don’t be coming round here saying ‘we got caught up in the moment’. Because so did Romeo and Juliet and look how that ended,” she deadpans, throwing her hands up.

“Did you just…never mind. We will use protection. When we get to that point. I’m in no rush and I can’t speak for him, but he at least respects my boundaries.”

“He sounds like a good egg. I like him already. He respects boundaries, he’s attractive, he’s got a stable income, and he liiiiiikes you,” she beams, rising from her armchair to go to her desk.

“I’m glad you approve because I like him and it just feels right with him. We connect so easily,” I say, noticing Yada is looking at me and shaking her head, “What now?”

“You are falling for him, girlfriend, don’t you see that?” she commented matter-of-factly. 

“Shut up, no I’m not,” I answer grumpily.

“Alright, but you are,” she states, tilting her head, “There is nothing wrong with that, by the way.”

“I know. I’m just afraid of moving too fast. That’s kind of my way of doing things, and I don’t hate it but I don’t necessarily like it much either.”

“Love it or hate it, it is a part of you. And you either have to learn to thrive despite it, or work toward changing the behavior. But you know this already, Kamaria.”

“You’re right about that, but I still like the option of just complaining about it,” I confess, shrugging my shoulders.

“Either way, it is your choice. You are still scheduled virtually for next week. You have your homework, as well. Anything else you wanna gab about before we end today’s session?”

“Nope,” I say, letting the ‘p’ make a pop sound.

“Well, then I will let you get back to your tall, dark, and handsome fella,” she smiles, getting up to walk me out. We exit her office and she smiles at Walter, addressing him directly. “She has homework and it involves you, so don’t let her forget.” How she gonna do me like that?!

“Thanks, Yada,” I groan.

Walter is enjoying this way too much because he decides it’s best to pat my shoulder while saying, “Don’t you worry, I won’t let her forget.” He just smiles when I give him a glare that rivals the fire of a thousand suns. He probably thinks it’s cute or something. He holds his arm out to let me exit before him and I’m happy for this because then he can’t see me cursing his very existence. I still let him open the door for me. I also let him open the truck door and buckle me in. By the time he gets into the vehicle, I’m reaching over to hold his hand.

“Done being mad at me, then?” he jokes, taking my hand and kissing the back of it.

“Feed me and we’ll see if I can’t be swayed,” I advise, winking at him.

We grab a quick late lunch and head back to his place. I take a nap for a couple of hours and am awoken by the hearty scent of tomato sauce. I’m pretty sure I fell asleep on the couch, but I’m waking up in a bedroom underneath a light blanket, Beary tucked into my side. Walter must have moved me in here so I wouldn’t be disturbed. He can be so sweet sometimes, I wonder how long he can keep this up.

I get up from the bed, leaving Beary behind and I walk out to the living room to see Walter hard at work in the kitchen. He doesn’t notice me so I sneak up behind him and goose him. He doesn’t react, as if he knew I was coming.

“What makes you think I didn’t hear you from the moment you opened my bedroom door?” he began, only turning slightly to wink at me before returning to slicing french bread for garlic toast, “I used to be S.W.A.T., Princess, so it takes a lot to get the jump on me.”

“So, you’re say-” 

“That is not an invitation for you to experiment on how to get the upper hand, love,” he stops me before I go down that useless train of thought.

“You got me, I’ll be on my best behavior, Sir,” I laugh, pulling myself up to sit on the counter near him.

“Would you like a piece of bread with some tomato sauce on it, Princess?”

“Yes, please,” I pipe up, excited to taste the aromatic sauce. I watch as he grabs a piece of bread, dipping it into the sauce before blowing on it a bit. He turns off the stove and comes to stand in front of me, placing the bite just out of reach. I look at him, confusion painted on my face.

“Tell me what your homework is and you can have your treat, Princess.”

I debate pouting but I know that won’t get me that saucy bread. “I have to talk to you about Rachel. She’s been weird around me, and it makes me uneasy,” I mumble, suddenly anxious.

“What exactly is she saying or doing?” he asks, allowing me to take a bite of the bread, still holding onto it himself.

“She hasn’t said anything to me, she just gives me this bitchy glare whenever we cross paths,” I speak around the bite of bread I was granted, “Honestly, baby, she freaks me out and I don’t like the idea of having to avoid your ex.”

“You shouldn’t have to actively avoid her,” he holds the last bite of bread out for me and places it in my awaiting mouth, “I’ll talk to her. I don’t want to scare her too much. But I do want her to know you mean a lot to me and if I’m lucky, you’ll be in my life for a long time to come. She needs to suck it up and get used to it.” 

“Fuck, that is so sexy to hear you say,” I disclose, reaching up to cup the back of his head, pulling him into a searing kiss. 

I clench my thighs together as I feel his tongue invade my mouth. Strong hands part my legs so that he can slide in between them. Our clothed sexes line up perfectly and I wrap my legs around his hips. A growl rumbles from his chest to my groin. We part to catch our breath, our foreheads resting together.

“Fuck, will you let me eat your pussy, baby?” he practically moans the question and it lights a fire up under my ass.

“Please, yes,” I gasp, wrapping my arms around his neck before he picks me up off the counter and walks us into his bedroom. He lays me down slowly. Kissing from my lips to my neck, nipping along the way. I gasp inwardly when I feel his hand ghost over my covered heat, my back arching at the touch.

“I’m going to take such good care of you, baby. You just relax and take what you need from me,” he whispers, moving down the bed as he hooks his fingers in my pants. He pulls them down, leaving me in my drenched panties. He kisses the fabric of my underwear before pulling those down as well.

He dives into my sodden snatch, using the flat of his tongue to lick a stripe from my entrance to my swollen nub before kissing it. My hands go from gripping the sheets to weaving through his curls when I feel him start to suck on my button.

“Fuuuuuck, Daddy, just like that,” I mewl, his growl vibrating through my clit. I feel his hands grip my thick thighs, pulling me closer to him as he eats greedily. I look down at him, his eyes are closed and he looks like he is in Heaven feasting on me. As if he could sense my stare, his eyes open and we share a heated mutual gaze. 

While still attending to my nub, he reaches up to my mouth and I suck two of his fingers, getting them nice and wet. When he’s satisfied, he leans back and licks his lips, entering my core with his spit-slicked digits and I cry out at the sensation.

“You’re so fucking tight, hot, and wet baby. Fucking perfect, I can’t wait to feel you wrapped around my cock,” he hummed, working his fingers in and out of me slowly until I arch my back to ride his fingers.

I pull him up to kiss me, tasting myself on his lips. His fingers find my inner bundle of nerves, massaging it as his thumb circles my clit. My breathing picks up as I feel the coil in my depths tightening until it snaps and I squeeze my eyes shut in anticipation.

“No, no, no. Look at me when I make you cum,” our eyes lock and I arch off the bed as my orgasm hits me full force. But this one feels different, so much more powerful than ever before. “Fuuuuuuuck, yes! Squirt all over me,” I faintly hear Walter groan those words before I realize my thighs are wet and sloshing noises are bouncing off the walls. Walter looks back up to my face and his pupils are blown wide. “You look so beautiful like this. All fucked out, tears flowing freely.” Did he say tears?

I reach up to my cheeks and feel wetness staining them, my eyes are blurry with unshed moisture. Then the emotion behind it all attacks and I begin to cry fully. I know they are happy tears but I can’t verbalize that to Walter yet and he starts to panic. 

“S’ok…so good…emotional,” I mutter, trying to let him know I’m alright. He seems to understand and nods, going to the attached bathroom and coming back with two towels. I feel wet warmth between my thighs as he cleans me, then dries me off with the other towel. He lays down next to me and covers me with the comforter and I close my eyes in contentment.

He peppers my face with slow kisses, from my eyelids to my nose to my cheeks to my lips. When I open my eyes again, Walter is looking at me with a look that definitely spells out his feelings for me. Instead of putting words to it, we just lay and bask in its radiance. I struggle to keep my eyes open and finally keep them closed.

I feel a kiss placed on my forehead and stir while I hear Walter’s soothing voice in my ears. “You did so good, Angel. Rest as long as you need to, and I’ll be here when you wake up.”

I awake some time later, and true to his word, Walter is still laying next to me. His soft snores are like music to my ears. I lean up and nuzzle our noses together until he stirs and opens his eyes and smiles down at me.

“Hey, baby,” he gives me a quick peck, “How do you feel?”  

“Well…so far, I feel refreshed. But I haven’t tried to walk yet,” I laugh, “That will be the true test. And I need to pee anyway.” At that, I sit up and stretch my arms over my head. I swing my legs out of the bed and stand up slowly. I take my first step and it’s wobbly as hell.

Walter gets up and helps me to the bathroom, because of course he does. He stays in the bathroom with me to make sure I don’t tip off the toilet or slip into the bathtub. I mean, at this point, I squirted all over his hand so I’m sure he can handle me peeing while he’s in the room. He even jokes that he can’t believe I have any liquids left in me. I playfully swat at him and he only grins at me.

We end up having dinner shortly after, the pasta was spectacular and the garlic toast was perfect. The rest of the night is spent introducing Walter to Supernatural. He likes how funny it is, and I feel obligated to tell him that this is one of the saddest shows to ever grace television screens. Once I say that, he vows to still watch the show because it means so much to me. 

We lay down in his bed for the night, talking about what we want to do this weekend. I mention that it would be nice to do absolutely nothing and just be lazy bums all weekend and he approves. Our weekend is spent finishing the first season of Supernatural and me answering all of Walter’s questions about the show. He is so cute getting all invested in one of my faves. And if we take breaks for him to test how many times he can make me cum in a weekend, then that’s our business.

He won’t allow me to return the favor, however. He says that this is all a part of him taking care of me this weekend. I try not to feel undeserving of so much positive attention, but I’m still a work in progress. And that is just fine for now because he is good at making me forget why I was anxious in the first place. My sweet Walter better count his days, because I am going to rock his world when I finally get the chance.

Chapter 5

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