#TW: past abuse mention

[thewritetofreespeech]

Can I request, if it's possible, a fic of Astarion with a touchy reader/tav? In the sense that they're just very affectionate with the people around them (like hand holding, hugs, high fives, forehead kisses, etc) in a totally loving, non sexual way. Thank you!

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“Why do you always do that?”

“Do what?” Tav asked in response to Astarion’s question.

“That,” he repeated, gesturing erratically with his hand, “touching people.”

“Oh…..” They seemed to think on it for a moment. “I don’t really know. I guess I’m just a touchy person.”

Astarion’s nose crinkled. He couldn’t think of anyone liking it.

Touch for Astarion was not a sensation that warranted much affection. For 200 years it had been the source of his pain, his torment. He had not received even a single kind touch in all that time. The thought of it made him recoil in disgust.

He had made impressive strides on the subject, though, since his freedom. Being around this group, letting them be close, was something unheard of for him. The closest he had come before was the forced confinement with his siblings. When he first joined, and Tav tried to give him a high-five or some such nonsense, Astarion had to force himself not to raise his arms to defend himself. Now, he could stand shoulder to shoulder with them.

But, still, he couldn’t understand why they felt touch was so important.

“What if….people don’t like it?”

Tav turned to him. Looking at him for a long moment but seeming to immediately understand in that unique way that they had. “Then I wouldn’t do it. Just because it’s something I like doesn’t mean that it’s for everyone. I like oysters, but that’s not everyone’s cup of tea either.”

Astarion crinkled his nose again. This time in dramatic disgust. Thinking of the slimy buggers in their grimy little shells. “Well, those are certainly some…interesting choices.”

Tav grinned. “But it’s what I like. If you don’t like it, that’s fine too.”

“Who said I didn’t like it?” He asked, pretending to be shocked. Yet Tav just kept looking at him in that strange, knowing way.

“Whatever you say Astarion.”

Tav got up and left the fireside. The vampire watched them circle to the other side, stopping by Scratch to ruffle his scruff, and Astarion felt ill at being jealous of a dog.

Maybe he would have to try oysters again.

[desultory-suggestions]

I would like to give a shout out to the gullible folks. The people who were lied to with some ridiculous story by an abuser and taken advantage of. People who can't describe their situation to others bc they know it sounds crazy, but they have fallen too deep to escape.

You aren't dumb. You're so trusting and so full of love. It is not your fault others take advantage. There are people out there that will not lie to you like others have. Your trauma is valid even if the lies you were told were so outlandish people laugh when you try to explain the terror you lived through.

Don't stop loving. Don't stop trusting. Just... Learn how to be more selective with your trust. Because not all have pure intentions for you.

[dovewingkinnie]

good teacher

[xjulixred45x]

If Child reader of Platonic Yandere Kenjaku meets Gojo...

Before anything, this is NOT a continuation of THIS one, that is more a scenerio of "What if", this is what i call the Route to the "True Ending" for Say something. NOW lest continue.

Also, this idea was kind of given by @kiracrzy-blog (thanks for that one Sweetie! Hope You enjoy!)

Satoru probably knew about (Child reader) even before the whole disaster, he would know that Geto had a child, but he didn't have much else, Suguru was very careful with them and their mother to prevent them from going after them (Even more if the child have inherited his cursed technique), but Satoru was definitely very curious about the child.

That's why he wouldn't know how he would interact with them if he ever met them, I mean, he LITERALLY killed their father and couldn't stop them from killing their mother, why would they want to see HIM of all people? He also had time to think about it in the containing prison.

A part of him wanted to meet them, see what they were like, were they more like Suguru or more like their mother? Were they extroverted or introverted? What was Suguru like as a father? And their mother? Did they suffer a lot when they died? Did they know that THAT THING was controlling their father's body?

Many of those answers were resolved as soon as he was released.

NOW, Gojo is much calmer and more mature than one would expect in the situation, he can see that (Child reader) has already been through a lot and he doesn't want them to be more afraid of him than they probably already are. He wants them to also get answers to their questions, so he sets up some small outings, nothing too complicated, just going to eat something somewhere safe and Satoru lets them ask them questions in exchange for the same.

Satoru was happy to hear that Suguru was a good father, that (child reader)'s mother was a good mother, that they lived a happy life...until Suguru died and Kenjaku arrived in his place.

Satoru is surprised that they (Child reader) don't resent him, but then he says something he wouldn't have expected at this point.

-"You may have killed my dad...but you were my father's only best friend...we can let things be...get over it...you mean a LOT to My father even...after all..."-

...that was so...wow, (Child reader) has power, they made the strongest sorcerer of today almost cry. He didn't think he needed to hear that SO MUCH...

although of course, not everything is so positive, Satoru has to retain all the anger he feels when hearing how Kenjaku came to treat (Child reader) using the body of their OWN FATHER and he may even have to console them, because well, it's HORRIBLE that distort the image of a person you love like this.

Satoru promises, SWEARS to (child reader) that after winning against Sukuna, he will go directly against Kenjaku and when he kills him, both will give him a dignified burial with the twins, and if the changes are in their favor, the WHOLE family of Geto. and (Child reader) feel light for the first time in God knows how long, they being with Gojo Kenjaku won't be after them. They are safe, they are not alone.

I think that in general, during the entire month of preparation that Gojo does before the battle against Sukuna, he takes advantage of every gap in his schedule to spend time with (child reader) and be a kind of "fun uncle" for them (he may even try to start a conversation with the twins, but it doesn't always work). He shares sweet things with them, tells them stories from when he and their father were young, he may even teach them a couple of useful techniques for hiding and so on.

Gojo carrying (child reader) on his shoulders while they go somewhere fun or while Gojo uses his infinity to float 🥺it would be so healthy..

Meanwhile Kenjaku is pulling his hair and biting his nails because GODDAMED! He can't get (child reader) back if they are not alone!if he get even a little close to Satoru he will kill him! And now (child reader) and Gojo are TOGHETER ALMOST EVERY DAY!! and at the same time he is soooo jealous that (child reader) is having such a good time with Gojo. He's their DAMN FATHER (in his crazy head at least)! And (child reader) acts more as if his enemy is more worthy of their affection than HIM):< (HE IS, but he will never admit it).

The good thing is that neither Sukuna nor Uraume are interested in helping Kenjaku in this, they already dislike him, but now that he spends his time complaining about a human child and since he wants them back, it is strangely tolerable, they are not going to ruin all returning them to Kenjaku. Part of them are just happy that Kenjaku is suffering for the first time in thousands of years.

Returning to the topic, I also imagine that (Child reader) shares everything that Satoru gives them with Choso and the twins, shows them their new clothes, saves candy for them, tells them excitedly about their day with Gojo, etc. .

Choso is so happy to see (Child reader) FINALLY be a child their age, get excited about these kinds of things and I think he would thank Satoru directly for everything he does for them even if he knows what happened in the past ( by not fully understanding humans and partly also because of all the positive feelings that have happened to Child reader)

Mimiko and Nanako are happy for (child reader), very happy, of course, they can't completely forgive Satoru, but damn, this could be the first step to HEALING (child reader), of returning to normal once everything is over , to be a family together again... who knows... maybe Gojo can be part of it... being so important to Geto...

Gojo is fine with just being a friend to (Child reader) in the future or being part of their family, as long as he is PART OF THAT FUTURE, and that future is HAPPY AND SAFE, he is fine with that, even if they don't want to see him more.

a better world is the least they owe to being Geto's child... a world where they should not have gone through all the pain and trauma they had, where he didn't have to kill their father... he wants that ( child reader) TO BE A CHILD.

So when he loses the battle against Sukuna and sees Geto on the other side, he doesn't know what to say, how to ask for forgiveness from him.

He couldn't do it, he couldn't beat him, he couldn't keep his oath, he couldn't bury Suguru with (Child reader), he couldn't see what will happen to them...HE FAILED THEM. NOT ONLY THEM, BUT ALSO SUGURU.

He left his child at the mercy of the world (with that PSYCHO still alive!!). hell, a child that Geto himself should have been able to raise if he had had different circumstances, if Geto had been there, supporting him, along with his child, both happy, safe, alive...

well, (child reader) is.

Suguru would try to console him, it's not his fault he died after all, he gave everything he had, Sukuna plays dirty......Suguru (and his wife) are grateful that at least Satoru spent the time he did with their child, trying to make a better world for them. They are grateful to him.

and (Child reader) will not be alone. Satoru KNOWS that, he can be at Peace, al least a little knowing that.

______

(Child reader) only sees on the screens (while Choso and Nanako try to cover their eyes) the result of the battle, Sukuna has won, Satoru lost.

Kenjaku is still alive.

but nothing stay still too long. then everyone is going to fight, those from Culling Game, the students, special grades, Yuji...

Choso puts a hand on (Child reader's) head, Mimiko and Nanako prepare to fight, they know what it means, they don't know how they feel about it(they already had a LOT of emotions to deal with), but they know what they have in mind.

Kenjaku is going to die. whether he like it or not.

[can-u-like-stop]

There was a time when Simon broke Price’s heart every day.

It wasn’t his fault, not at all. And Price would hate it if Simon took it as such. Which is probably why Price didn’t say anything for so long.

But he saw.

He saw how Simon would immediately tense and drop what he was doing whenever Price walked in, even if he was on his off time.

He saw how Simon’s jaw clenched when he relayed bad news to Price, almost expecting a berating for something out of his hands.

(Price had growled and banged his hand on the table once, the almost imperceptible jump Simon did because of it was enough for Price to regret it)

And he saw how Simon flinched when Price went to pat him on the back. That one hurt like a bastard.

But one night, when Simon surprised him with a knock on the door to drop off some papers, Price knew he needed to do something, watching as Simon apologised and edged into the room.

“Could I say something, Simon?” Price asks before Simon can turn to leave.

Simon freezes. “Alright, sir?” He holds his hands behind his back. Attentive, obedient, anxious.

Price keeps his movements casual, not knowing how else to ease Simon’s nerves.

“I’m not your father, Simon,”

There’s a tense silence.

Simon huffs a half-hearted laugh. “I’m… aware of that, sir…”

Price shakes his head. He gets up, and reaches out to place a hand on Simon’s shoulder.

Simon tenses, but stays put.

“I mean, son…” Price says, “I’m not like your father.”

Simon’s cautiously confused gaze drops into something fragile for a second. His eyes move away from Price’s and he fiddles with his gloves.

“I know that too, sir,” he says, clearing his throat.

“Good man,” Price says, knowing he’s pushing his luck. “Go on, you’re free from paperwork for one night at least.”

“Thank you, sir,” Simon mutters and legs it out of there.

At the time, Price thought he’d fucked it all up. And maybe he did.

But now, Price swears he sees a different side of Simon. Youthful, vibrant, and free.

And his heart is made full again.

[northstarscowboyhat]

I apologize if you answered this already, I can't find if you did. How much does Starlo and Ceroba know about Clover's past in the Lucky Clover AU? I ask cause it is implied his past wasn't exactly the best before the underground. Like do they know alot of it, or is it more of a, "less our kid talks about, the better" kind of deal?

No worries! I don't mind any questions!

As I had it, Clover is very secretive about their past on the surface before they fell into the Underground. They don't like to talk about their previous home, or their previous family, but it's pretty easy for the adults in their life to pick up on the fact that they didn't come from a happy, loving household. Starlo and Ceroba are especially perceptive of this, as any parental gestures or actions by then are treated with surprise from Clover, as if they didn't know that actually, parents are supposed to love and support you no matter what.

They try and gently encourage Clover to talk about their past, but Clover remains pretty secretive. I imagine the truth comes out in tiny bits and pieces as Clover gradually becomes more comfortable sharing their past. They still prefer not to talk much about it, but by the time they're a young adult, Ceroba and Starlo have the general gist; Clover came from a very unstable and unloving household with an abusive father and a mother who passed away when they were at a young age.

Neither of them push Clover to talk about it unless the situation absolutely calls for it or Clover themself wants to talk about it. They don't need to know all the details to reassure Clover that they'll always have loving parents with the two of them.

[tamatosss]

My OCs!!! I love and cherish all of them like they’re my children :3

Please check out their references if you’re interested! I put a lot of work into them. I tried my best to condense all important info onto one page each. I can go into more depth for some characters but I have to control myself or I’ll never be finished with these.

PS I’m not the best at writing so forgive me for any grammatical errors or weirdly-phrased sentences 🙏.

[obsidiancreates]

Henry Spencer Is A Bastard (With A Broken Nose)

Shawn and Jules have been living together for two weeks when Jules storms into the precinct, grabs Lassiter by the arm, and drags him into the interrogation room.

“O’Hara, what the hell is-”

“You’ve spent time alone with Henry,” she says, sitting Lassiter in the suspect chair. “What was he like?”

“What?”

“This is important, Carlton.”

Lassiter sighs, looking around the room for a moment before answering. “Unpleasant and judgemental. He had every quality of a great cop but none of an actual person I’d spend time with.”

“Which for you is saying something,” Jules mumbles, looking to the side. “Would-would you say you think he’s capable of intentional child endangerment or neglect?”

Lassiter sits up more. “What? O’Hara, what is this about?”

Jules takes a deep breath, looking down at her hands. “I was helping Shawn get some stuff from his old room, and we found an old journal from when he was a kid.It was mostly just doodles and half-finished homework, and he said to just throw it away, but… I kept it. I thought it was cute, to be able to look at what went through his brain as a kid.”

“O’Hara. If you’re alleging what I think-”

“I read more later while he was out with Gus and one of the pages was a failed writing assignment. He was supposed to write about what he did over the weekend and he wrote that his dad locked him a trunk and made him pretend to be kidnapped.”

Lassiter lets out a breath. “Okay. But you and I both know Spencer’s imagination-”

“Carlton, remember the kicked-out tailight? When he got shot?”

“O’Hara, I was with Henry through that whole investigation, and I don’t think I can say that the man I investigated with would purposefully hurt or neglect his son. He was like a machine through the whole thing.”

“There was more, though, Carlton. One of the assignments was to write about how they spent Easter and Shawn’s said he got cut on some glass trying to dig up his eggs. He drew a picture, it-”

She pulls out her phone and hands it to her partner. Lassiter looks at a crude drawing of a small stick figure on it’s hands and knees, overly-large shards on the ground in front of it, and an egg a good few lines below it. There’s a taller stick figure behind the small one, with a wide-open mouth and the words ‘You can do better, Shawn,’ written beside it.

The teacher’s note on the side says that Shawn needs to stop making up stories for assignments about his real life.

Lassiter hands the phone back. “O’Hara…”

Jules sits back in her chair a bit, the tension giving way to a slumped tiredness. “I know they’ve never had an… easy relationship, but Henry has always been so present, ever since we’ve known Shawn. I thought that was a good thing and Shawn’s discomfort was just Shawn being… Shawn.” She looks down at her hand in guilt. “What if I completely missed that he has reason, Carlton?”

Lassiter grabs one of Jules’s hands. “O’Hara, Henry Spencer is a bitter, unlikeable, and overbearing old man- but I really don’t think he’s capable of child abuse.”

Jules holds his hand back and gives it a squeeze. “I just… don’t know how to ask Shawn if these are real. He’s not exactly forthcoming about messy emotions and memories.”

Lassiter nods, and then blinks. “So let’s ask Guster. They’ve been stuck together like flies on a flytrap forever.”

Jules shakes her head. “If Shawn isn’t going to say anything, I really don’t think Gus will.”

“Well, you can either ask Guster if these are real, or you can worry about it forever and never get any answers.” Lassiter knows his partner well enough to know that’s unacceptable to her.

She gives his hand one more squeeze. “I’m just worried. Henry works here. He’s in charge of Shawn.”

“And I’m sure that when we talk to Guster about all this, we’ll learn that Spencer was just exaggerating like he always does.”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gus reads the page with wide eyes. “Wait, he was serious about that?”

Lassiter stifles the urge to shout ‘Come on!’ when he hears Jules suck in a breath.

“You mean you knew about this already?”

“I mean, Shawn told me once that he liked Easter at my house way more because there was no ‘manhunt training’, but I thought he just meant something like when his dad would have him stakeout their porch.”

“He what?”

“It, sounds worse than it is. … I think.” Gus looks down at the old notebook again. “I thought. … I mean, Henry was always a little intense. When Shawn and I were boyscouts he used to set up challenges that were impossible to win, and then make us feel bad for not winning.”

“What do you mean, impossible to win?” Lassiter is starting to get concerned now. Shawn’s incessant need to show everyone up has been a pain in his ass for years, and if Henry reinforced that grating attitude and now acts like he tried to quell it-

“Stuff like telling us to go find a rocket in the middle of the woods and then going and grabbing it himself. He used to promise us ice cream if we won, then say he’d eat it himself if we didn’t win next time.” Gus’s face pinches the more he talks about the memories. “Gosh, I haven’t thought about that in years. I guess I didn’t realize how messed up that is until I said it out loud.”

“It’s horrible,” Jules says.

“But not criminal,” Lassiter reminds her. “And as… weird and dangerous as the eggs thing is, that’s not criminal either. … I think.”

“What about the trunk, Carlton?”

“... Yeah, that part’s looking pretty bad.”

Gus shuts the notebook. “We need to talk to Shawn about this. I don’t know if I’m even remembering right, but I know he will.”

“He’d never open up about something like this,” Jules says, gesturing to the notebook and letting her arms drop back to her sides with a flop. “He barely tells me about his childhood at all.”

“Well I was there for most of it, and I need to make sure I didn’t miss some serious abuse going down for our entire lives. Do you know how many times I’ve defended his dad to him, Juliet? … Oh my god, on that same boyscout trip with the rocket, he told me his dad had never said he loved him!”

Lassiter doesn’t need to look at Jules to know she’s probably seething with the rage of the entire underworld- if he believed in such a thing. 

Henry better hope they find out it’s not as bad as it’s seeming.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Shawn gets home, Jules, Lassiter, and Gus are all sitting on the couch looking somber. Well, Jules and Gus look somber. Lassiter looks mildly offput.

“Guys! What’s all this, are we having some kinda surprise party?” Shawn looks around for decorations, but there’s nothing. He looks back with excitement. “Is it a case? A big one?”

“Shawn, sit down, we need to ask you about something.” Jules gestures for him to take a seat on a different chair.

“Uh-oh. That’s not your happy voice.” Shawn sits down and leans forward. “Hey, babe, what’s wrong?”

Jules takes a deep breath, and pulls out the notebook. Shawn looks at it. “Oh, that? Please don’t tell me that my drawing skills when I was eight are a dealbreaker.”

“Shawn, did Henry…” Jules falters. Shawn’s expression… 

It doesn’t harden, per say. It just… shifts. Becomes a little closed-off.

“Spencer, did Henry actually make you dig through broken glass to find ridiculous holiday candy?” Lassiter says, offering Jules his hand for support. She takes it.

Shawn’s mouth quirks up in the corner, a huff-laugh escaping him. His eyes aren’t as amused, a dark look in them. “What? How-how’d you know about that?”

“Oh my god.” Gus looks sick.

“Guys, seriously, what is this?” Shawn reaches out and snatches the notebook, flipping through it. Fast at first, and then slower. The slight smirk disappears completely, and Jules and Gus know that habit of sticking his tongue over his teeth means Shawn is not in a good emotional space whatsoever as he reads.

He closes the notebook and tosses it onto the coffee table, sitting back into the chair and sniffling. “It’s uh- it’s nothing.”

“Dude, that is not nothing. I thought you were making that stuff up when we were kids!”

“What? Why would I make that up?” That just seems to confuse Shawn.

“Because you were always making things up!”

“Not about my dad! You were like, the one person I could talk about him with! You thought I was lying about everything the whole time?” Now he looks hurt. 

“Not everything, but crazy stuff like him locking you in a trunk in the middle of a hot day and putting broken glass over your eggs, yeah! Oh my go- this makes me look back on everything I know in a completely different light, Shawn!”

“Okay, you can’t actually be this surprised, Gus. I mean, you were at my house all the time, you know how he was. We couldn’t even play hide-and-seek without me getting a lecture about hunting perps the right way.” The bitterness in his voice is familiar to his friends, the way he keeps from meeting their eyes, the arms crossed over his chest and tense body language. It’s not that they’ve never seen him like this. But they’ve never seen him like this and truly understood it. Even Gus.

Gus, who looks increasingly horrified as he thinks back on more and more memories. “When we were really little and you told me your dad would throw you out for reading comics, were you serious?”

Shawn scoffs a little. “No, I wasn’t.”

“Did he actually ban them?”

“... Yeah. That part he did. He said they made cops look bad.”

“Good god, Spencer, you’re talking like everything in your house was about cops twenty-four-seven.”

“Gee, Lassie, I wonder why. You’ve met my dad, right?”

“But you’re talking like he expected you to be a perfect cop from the second you were born.”

Shawn goes silent. He still won’t look at any of them.

“Oh, my god.” Jules reaches out to put a hand on Shawn’s knee. “Shawn, did he expect that?”

“... Look, guys, it’s… it’s done, alright? It is what it is, and… I’ve accepted that, and I’m working on making things work with my dad. I don’t… I don’t need this. Okay? I don’t want to think about it and get all…” He huffs. “Last time I thought a little too hard about all this stuff I ended up on my motorcycle with nowhere to go, and-and I don’t want to do that again, alright?”

“Shawn, this is important. We’re all working with Henry constantly, watching how he treats you, and this changes how some of that looks.”

“How?” Shawn finally looks at Jules, right in the eyes. “How does this change anything? He’s the same person, Jules. He-he’s controlling, and-and expects way too much, and is disappointed in me. That’s not different now just because you know he went overboard with stuff when I was a kid.”

Lassiter lets out a deep breath. He’d really… really been hoping this wouldn’t be the case. “How overboard, Spencer?”

Shawn looks at Lassie, and then clicks his tongue and looks away again. “Not in that way, man. He never hit me or anything.”

“So what did he do?”

“Why is this an interrogation?” Shawn stands up, pulling away from Jules’s outstretched hand. “This is stuff for me, and my dad to hash out, okay? Just me and him.”

“Did your mom know about this stuff?” Gus asks. 

The mention of his mom seems to make Shawn shut down even more. “Now this is really over.” He walks away, and pauses for just one second to turn around and say, “Don’t- don’t go my dad about all this. I don’t want…”

“... Don’t want what, Shawn?” Jules’s voice is soft and careful.

Shawn doesn’t seem to be able to find the end of the thought. He just shakes his head and walks back out the door.

The three sit in silence for a minute. Jules has tears in her eyes. Gus looks almost shellshocked.

Lassiter stands up. “Alright, I’m officially taking lead on this case.” He looks down at his partner. “O’Hara, find out who in the precinct knew Henry well and still works there. We’ll interview anyone who he might’ve talked to his son about, see if we can dig up any leads there.”

“Whoa, Shawn just said he didn’t want his dad finding out we’re asking about all this, and we just learned he’s way worse than we thought,” Gus says, standing up too. “We can’t start poking around the precinct, because in case you forgot Lassie, he works there!”

“Part-time.”

“He’ll know something is up.”

“Please. I think I know how to run a discreet investigation, Guster.”

“Could you hide something like that from Shawn?”

“... Of course.”

“No, you couldn’t, and if you can’t hide it from Shawn it’s a safe bet that you can’t hide it from his dad.”

Jules stands up. “No, Carlton is right. None of us realized how these pieces fit together until we all talked about it with each other, right? If Shawn won’t… can’t, open up to us about it, the next best thing is getting as many witness statements as possible.”

“Why? It just feels like digging things up to dig them up at this point.”

“Because Henry is currently in charge of Spencer’s livelihood, Guster.”

“I know! He’s in charge of part of mine too!”

“Right.” Jules looks up at Lassiter. “And if we can prove to The Chief that Henry has a negative, unreliable bias against Shawn, we can lessen some of that control!”

“As much as I’d hate to see Spencer off the leash again, I’d hate to be helping enable an abuser even more,” Lassiter agrees. 

“Abuser is a strong word.” Gus doesn’t look like he feels that sentence is 100% true. “He wasn’t all bad a lot of the time. I mean, he loosened up on the comic thing when we were older.”

“We know he cares, Gus,” Jules assures. “But, caring doesn’t mean he didn’t do something wrong. Really, really wrong.”

Gus swallows, and then nods. “I know.”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They collect a good few statements over the next week.

One statement claims that Shawn would play poker with some of the officers when Henry brought him to the station- why Henry was bringing a seven year old to an active police station and then not keeping an eye on him was something that went unanswered- and that Henry was obviously upset when he discovered this. Another statement corroborated the story, and added that he caught sight of Henry taking all the money Shawn made from the games and shoving it into the police donation box.

One statement was from an elderly file sorter, who claimed that Shawn was sometimes sent down to grab files for his dad and used to complain to her that henry would only buy Shawn cop car toys, and no others. When she’d asked Shawn if he wanted to be a cop when he grew up, Shawn had reportedly said quote, “Something about not getting a choice.” Other statements claimed, when this was brought up, that Shawn seemed very excited by the idea of being a cop when he grew up- until his arrest.

One statement, given by someone Lassiter vaguely remembers being rookies with back in the day, lends more credibility to the recollections of the elderly woman. The statement claimed that when the rookie would go on ride-alongs with Henry or work under him, Henry would almost always complain about Shawn. Everything from Shawn having an interest that didn’t relate to being a cop, to Shawn ‘acting like a child’ when he would have been under twelve according to the timeline, to Shawn ‘not even trying’ during a specific incident where Henry claimed Shawn forged his signature to go on a field trip and quote “hesitated for a second with his pen or something- I remember it was something really minor, and Henry couldn’t stand it. I thought it was weird that he was teaching his son how to forge signatures and then expecting the kid to never use the skill, but it wasn’t really my place to say.”

By the end of the week, Jules is steaming and Shawn hasn’t come around the precinct at all. Gus keeps dropping by, digging up old journals of his own to use as cross-references when possible. Shawn is quiet with Jules at home, like he’s waiting for something big to happen and he’s worried he could trigger it early.

It makes Jules more upset at Henry, because now her boyfriend’s emotional immaturity seems a lot less like a natural childish nature and a lot more like having genuinely never been taught how to handle anything.

No, according to the information she and Lassiter have gathered, it looks like all Henry taught Shawn was that winning is everything, being the best is non-negotiable, and Shawn was born to be a cop and anything that didn’t align with that idea just… shouldn’t be there.

“Wow.” Lassiter tosses the latest statement onto his desk. “And I thought Henry didn’t discipline Spencer enough as a kid. Some of this stuff makes it sound like Spencer grew up in a boot camp.”

“He basically did,” Jules says bitterly, reading over one of Gus’s old notebooks. “Gus wasn’t even looking for evidence of it, and these journals are full of casual, offhand observations that look worse and worse the more we know. Listen to this one. ‘Today Shawn was in a bad mood, and when I asked him why he said his dad stole his mood ring after showing him to turn the box upside-down. I said that’s cheating, and Shawn said it can’t be if his dad said to do it.’ Who the hell steals a mood ring from a kid?”

“You’re getting caught on the small stuff again, O’Hara.”

“I know, I know. I just- now that we know some of the major things, even the small stuff is making me just unbelievably angry.”

“Yeah, it’s rough to read. At least you and I wanted to be cops.”

“Right? No wonder Shawn ended up a psychic detective, how do you just do something else after being raised so specifically like that? And no wonder he-he buys EasyBake Ovens and goofs off all the time, he had it so strict as a kid…”

“Mmmmm… let’s not excuse every antic, O’Hara. A lot fo it is still just him being a jackass.”

“I won’t get into this with you again, Carlton.”

“Good, I don’t want to get into it again either. … Heads up.”

Jules closes the notebook and tucks it into a desk drawer as swiftly and inconspicuously as possible, Lassie doing the same for his file. Henry walks past them, barley sparing a glance as he makes his way somewhere else.

Jules stares daggers at him so intensely that if dropped to the ground covered with enough puncture wounds to imitate Julias Caesar, Lassiter would think it was a mild scene all things considered.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s three weeks since Jules found the notebook when Shawn rolls over in bed, puts his arm around, and mumbles “I have an eidetic memory.”

Jules puts her book down and looks at Shawn with furrowed brows. “What?”

Shawn sighs and sits up properly. “I have an eidetic memory,” he says again, “And… I don’t like looking back, because I remember everything perfectly. Which means I usually remember what I felt perfectly too, and it usually wasn’t great feelings.” He can’t look her in the eyes this time, either, but instead of the tense, protective body language of before, he’s holding a pillow close to his chest and slightly burying his face into it, almost sagging around it.

Jules starts to rub his back. She knows how hard this kind of… difficult emotional discussion, is for him. Now she even knows why- suspects why, really, because not all of it is proven in full, but still she thinks she can cout is as knowing. “Why didn’t you tell me about this before?”

“About the memory?”

“Yeah. That sounds… really difficult to deal with, Shawn. Does Gus know?”

“Yeah, he knows. I think other than my dad, and… and you, he’s the only person who knows.”

“Shawn…”

“I just, I just want you to know… that I’m not asking you to drop it for no reason,” Shawn says, “Or-or because I don’t feel like it’s important. I know it is, I do. I just…”

“Don’t want to relive a lot of it,” Jules says softly. “... Shawn, does this mean you remember everything perfectly? All the time?”

“Eh… fifty-fifty. The ADHD gets in the way sometimes.”

“... But when it doesn’t?”

“I just try not to think about a lot of it.” Shawn moves again, to look her in the eyes, He takes a deep breath, and he looks a little pained. This kind of thing is painful for him, he’s so unsure how to navigate it. “I have to keep moving forward, Jules. It’d be so… so easy to just get stuck, forever, in all the stuff stored in my head. And I’m really, really trying to, I mean that. It’s difficult, and I’m not… always great at it, but I’m trying.”

“And you’re worried we’ll set you back?”

“No! No, I… I don’t know.” Shawn lets Jules pull him close to her chest and begin running her hand through his hair. “My dad and I don’t solve stuff, Jules. We just… argue over it. I’m getting tired of it.”

“... I understand.” She kisses the top of his head. “But I don’t like him being in charge of you when you’re a grown man anymore.”

“You think I do? … But it’s making him a lot happier than he’s been in a long time.”

“You should be happy too, Shawn.”

“Hey. Hey, I am happy.” He looks up into her eyes. “Look at me right now. I’m being cradled like a sweet little baby seal by the most beautiful, badass woman in the entire world. Of course I’m happy.”

Jules laughs a little and contorts a bit to kiss him on the mouth. “I’m glad you told me that, Shawn. And I promise, I won’t ask you to relive anything else for me.”

“... But you’re not going to stop investigating my dad, are you?”

“Did you stop with mine?”

“... Fair enough.” Shawn lays his head back down, and soon enough Jules hears soft snoring from him and mumbled phrases in his sleep.

…

An eidetic memory. Perfect recall.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Jules goes over everything they have so far knowing Shawn has a perfect memory, it makes her angry to such a degree that she thinks it might kill her. Not literally, but it feels strong enough.

She has some of Shawn’s old report cards, some statements she got from former teachers via social media contact, and some copies of pages of one of Gus’s old journals laid out in front of her, and she sees a pattern.

Shawn didn’t do good in school. His report cards are less than average, and are packed with notes about how he doesn’t pay attention, doesn’t seem to absorb any information, and doesn’t remember anything he’s taught. The statements from the teachers describe Shawn as hyperactive, passionate about everything but his schoolwork, and having difficulty with staying observant in class.

Gus’s old journals are full of the same, but also the opposite. Shawn didn’t pay attention in school, but sometimes he could pull something the teacher said from his memory word for word without even trying, and then a few entries later Gus would mention Shawn failed a test on that exact subject. Shawn got beat up because he told a bully he memorized the pattern of answers used in the math tests, but his dad told the teacher and let Shawn know he was doing it. And most of all, Gus writes about how freaky his friend’s ability to look at people and figure them out is. How Shawn notices almost everything almost all the time, and usually makes some dramatic conclusion that isn’t right, but he still notices things and Gus can’t figure out how Shawn fingers things out.

Detective training, and an eidetic memory, and psychic visions. Jules is now pretty sure that Shawn covers up some of his deductions using his visions- he’s known enough impossible information that they can’t possibly all be deductions in disguise, but when she thinks back there’s a few times where it’s obvious in hindsight he used his abilities to cover up the fact that he’s an incredible, highly-trained detective.

Maybe she’s jumping to a conclusion, but she finds herself thinking ‘Because Henry made him hate that he can do it so well,’ as she pieces it all together.

Gus’s journals lend a lot of credit to that theory. Shawn is smart, and Gus knows it, but Shawn acts dumb sometimes and Gus doesn’t understand why, and then Gus mentions that it’s weird that Henry kept Shawn up all night before to stakeout their porch and now Shawn is tired during Little League and Henry tells him to get his head in the game because Henry is the coach.

Henry is the coach, Henry is the chaperone on the field trip, Henry is their Scout Master- he’s in charge of every part of Shawn’s life except for school. And Maddie is rarely brought up, even when Gus writes about spending all day or night or even weekend at the Spencer house. Jules hasn’t seen Shawn’s Mom since Yang almost blew her up, and she just figured that Maddie wanted to stay out of Santa Barbara after that, understandably. She’s getting a different feeling about Maddie staying away now. It seems a lack of presence was her main impression in Shawn’s life, or at least, Shawn’s life through the lens of Child Gus.

So it was basically just Henry. And her heart aches for the thought of someone being stuck in a bad marriage, basically raising a kid alone, and that kid being as hyper and curious and chaotic as Shawn. But the ache is smothered in the sense of righteous rage when she reads other entries about things like a girl throwing a ball at Shawn and missing, and an ostrich choking on the ball, and Henry dragging Shawn away. The entry goes on to say that Shawn told Gus that Henry didn’t believe him when he said he didn’t do it, even after then-superior officer Captain Connors came in and tried to vouch for Shawn.

Henry always assumed the worst. Assumes, the worst, still.

Shawn tries so hard, sometimes, with his dad, and Jules is starting to realize that Henry doesn’t put the same effort in. He tries some, she knows it, she’s seen it, but she also sees him constantly berate, put down, and insult Shawn, publicly and privately. 

Suddenly she remembers something from when Shawn went undercover on the dating show, something she’d been too upset over about Shawn being there at all to really take in in the moment.

“I’m sorry, this woman is way too good for my son. If it was me, I’d vote no.”

She doesn’t have Shawn’s memory, so without rewatching the clip she can’t be totally sure those are Henry’s exact words, but she’s certain that it’s the exact sentiment.

First of all, she takes a little offense to that for herself. But secondly and more strongly, she takes offense for Shawn. As she thinks about it she can remember the way Shawn tried to cover up the awkwardness in the clip, the way the girl on the show whispered “Is this a joke?” and the way it absolutely was not. The way Henry said that on TV, to Shawn’s face, with no hint of shame.

“O’Hara.” She looks up to see Lassiter holding a cup of coffee and a bagel for her. She takes them and Lassiter says, “There’s more steam coming out of your ears than there is that cup.”

“Sorry,” she sighs. “I just… I don’t know if I can control myself tomorrow when Henry comes back in. The more I dig into this, the more I want to just- go back in time and pick little Shawn up and take him somewhere better.”

“Well as much as we don’t like it, O’Hara, Spencer is who he is because he was raised the way he was raised.”

“I know. And I like, who Shawn is!”

“Inexplicably.”

“Carlton.”

“Mmm.”

“Anyway… I love Shawn, and who he is, all of him, but I still wish he could’ve been who he is without going through all of this. It’s not okay.”

“No. No, it’s not.” Lassiter sighs. “Look, O’Hara, put the case down for a while. At this point we’ve got enough to at least make The Chief doubt some of Henry’s intentions and judgements when it comes to Spencer and, well, that was the goal.”

“... Yeah. Yes, okay, I will… I will put this down for a few days.” Jules closes up the file and puts it back into her drawer. “Shawn is still less than happy I’m working on this, anyway. He understands why, but I know he wishes he didn’t.” He probably understands a lot of things he wishes he didn’t. Jules has had to grapple with the realization that she actually doesn’t know as much about how Shawn’s mind works as she thought she knew, and that it’s possible she’ll never know a lot of it. There’s more than just psychic visions to the mystery of his mind, and some of those mysteries are locked up with a key cast out of self-resentments and resentments of his dad.

God, she hopes she can keep up a poker face when Henry comes in.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Her file is missing from her desk the next day, and so is Lassiter’s. They both know why.

They march over to Henry’s desk just as Gus comes in to collect a check, and all three end up standing over Henry as he openly and unashamedly reads through the Spencer Upbringing Case File. Gus takes a step back when he realizes that’s what’s happening, as does Lassiter.

But not because of Henry.

Jules looks murderous.

Henry purses his mouth in a frown and nods, raising up the file and then closing it and tossing it onto his desk in one smooth movement. “It’s comprehensive,” he says, like he’s grading a paper. “But it’s a bunch of biased bull.”

“Give them back.” Jule’s voice is ice-cold. 

Henry shrugs, moving his head side to side for a second, still frowning, and then says, “Nah.” He takes the files, and drops them in the trash. “I think you owe me an explanation for why the head detective and his partner are investigating the way I raised my son. Why’d Shawn put you up to this?”

“He didn’t.”

Henry scoffs. “Yeah, right.”

Jules slams one hand onto Henry’s desk. The whole bullpen goes quiet.

“I was helping Shawn get something from your house, and I found a notebook,” she says. 

“Oh, so, you found one of Shawn’s little projects where he exaggerated things to make himself look like a victim of the world?”

“I found the writings of a little kid who didn’t seem to realize at the time of writing that being locked in a hot car trunk and digging through broken glass for Easter Eggs wasn’t normal.”

Henry laughs, crossing his arms. “That’s what you have a problem with? It’s called training, detective. You went through it yourself.”

“When I was an adult, by my choice, and I sure as hell never had to dig through glass.”

“You’re really hung up on that.”

“Because it’s genuinely evil!”

Henry’s smug look melts into a scowl. “How dare you.”

“How dare I?! Do you understand how much all of this is still affecting Shawn, even right now?! He can barely talk about all of this!” “Oh, well, he sure seem capable of reminding me of it.”

“Because you did it! You’re the only other person in the entire world who understood what was done to him in the name of training because you did it!”

“Done to h- you’re overreacting, detective!”

“I, agree, what is going on out here?” Chief Vick hurries over to Henry’s desk from her own. “Detectives, there had better be a damn good reason-”

“There is, Chief.” Lassiter reaches into the trashcan and pulls out the files.

“Karen, Detective O’Hara has allowed her romantic entanglement with my son to-”

“Henry was borderline abusive during Shawn’s childhood,” Jules interrupts, facing her Chief. Chief Vick’s eyes widen and her mouth drops open, a disbelieving laugh escaping her even as she accepts the files and flips them open. “You understand what it is you’re alleging, O’Hara, and against who?”

“I do, Chief, and I think our case file speaks for itself.” All eyes are on them now. Jules doesn’t back down. “I’m well aware of my emotional ties to this case, but I assure you I’m not allowing it to cloud my judgment. If I was, I wouldn’t have used the word borderline to describe the conclusions I’ve come to.”

“Karen, this is ridiculous.”

But Chief Vick is focused on the files in her hands. Her eyes flick up to Henry. “Is it?” She looks over to Gus, who’s been watching with the quiet tension of a prey animal waiting to make a run for it. “Mister Guster, can you genuinely testify to the validity and accuracy of the claims in these files?”

“Oh, um, well, most of those are from my own journals.” Gus’s eyes flick between Henry and Jules. “I’d say that’s even more reliable than just plain memory.”

“It certainly is.” Chief Vick turns her eyes back to the file. “Henry, I think after I’m done going through these we’re going to have a chat about some of your current responsibilities and extent of authority over consultants.”

“Oh, come on, Karen!” Henry looks around at the entire precinct staring, and judging. “This is completely unfounded, and-and blown way out of propor-!”

Henry doesn’t finish the sentence because Juliet O’Hara punches him in the nose.

There’s gasps from everyone in the room. Jules’s fist is bloodied. Henry’s nose went CRUNCH! when her fist made contact.For a long moment it’s like the whole room has collectively stopped breathing. 

“I don’t make unfounded accusations, Henry,” Jules breathes. “Especially not when I have been building a case for over a month, and have watched Shawn completely close off whenever I asked him about this.”

Henry holds his nose, looking at Jules with fear that Lassiter and Gus don’t think is nearly intense enough. “Juliet,” Henry pants, blood streaming out from between his fingers. “This is insane.”

“Quiet, Spencer.” Lassiter moves Jules a little farther away. Her fist is still raised. “I won’t tolerate you disrespecting my partner, especially not in the same way you do your son.”

“What?! You can’t believe all this too, Lassiter.”

“You know I’m not Shawn’s biggest fan, but if you think what O’Hara has done over the last month is anything less than the best damn investigation possible then I have to seriously reconsider some of our shared opinions of your son’s work.”

Gus glances at a box of tissues on Henry’s desk- and then subtly moves to knock them on the floor and kicks them away.

“Herny, I’m going to have to ask you to step away from the precinct for a few days while this gets handled. O’Hara, I’m going to need to speak with you in my office.”

Jules lowers her fist, and nods. She knows she can’t just punch Henry and get away with it scot-free, and she accepts that.

No-one moves to help Henry. Not a single soul. He grumbles as he makes his way past Gus to grab a different box of tissues.

“It’s like he just sucks the respect out of people,” Henry grumbles. 

CRACK!

No-one is more surprised than Gus when his fist slams into Henry’s jaw. Gus reels away immediately, shrinking and cradling his hand, as Henry goes down.

“Mister Guster!” Chief Vick moves forward to try and catch Henry.

“Uuuuh!” Guss whines, shaking his hand. “I-I mean, you don’t get to say that about Shawn! He asked us not to keep doing this! You gotta stop assuming the worst of him all the time!”

“When he earns it!” Henry barks out, then groans and spits. It’s mostly blood.

“You won’t let him earn it!” Jules is furious again. “How many killers does he have to catch for you to see that your son is an amazing man?!”

“It’s not about catching killers,” Henry says, spitting again. “It’s about growing up.”

“Says the grown man who can’t even tell his son ‘I love you’.”

“He doesn’t say it either.”

“That’s not helping your case, Spencer.” Lassiter has his eyes on Jules and Gus. “And considering I’m the only one on said case who hasn’t taken a shot at you yet, I’d say keep your mouth shut.”

“Oh, what do you know.” Henry spits a third time. The Chief looks about ready to punch him herself. “Father-son relationships are complicated, especially when the father wants what’s best for the son and the son just wants to throw everything away and get himself killed!”

“You wanted him to be a cop, Spencer, you didn’t exactly put him on a path to a peaceful and easy life.”

“I put him on the right path, and he never appreciated it, and that is what your case file should say!”

“You know what, Spencer?” Lassiter takes a step closer to the bleeding man. “I’ve put up with a lot of crap from both you and your son over the years, and you two are a lot more similar than you think. But one thing I can say that Shawn has over you is that he doesn’t mean it when he says stupid crap like that.”

“He looks up to you, you ass,” Jules adds. “And he is willing to put aside all of the things you say and do to him to have a good relationship with you. Do you understand how incredible that is? That you don’t even have to work to have him in your life? That he comes to you no matter how many times you tear into him for it?”

“He comes to me because he never listens when he needs to.” Henry’s face is starting to become very purple as the bruises set in. “I don’t know what he’s been telling you, but he needs, my help.”

“Exactly! And he feels like you’re reliable enough to give it to him, and you do! So why do you treat that as though it’s a fault? Do you have any idea what I would have given as a kid, and even now, to be able to just-just go up to my dad and say ‘I need help,’ and have him be there to help me? That means the world!”

“Not to Shawn.” Henry looks pained beyond just the broken nose and possible broken jaw. “The kid is too focused on himself.”

“You don’t know your son at all, then.” Jules turns and walks with The Chief to her office.

Gus shakes his head, grabs the check out of Henry’s paperwork pile, checks that it’s signed, and leaves. 

“Oh, really? It’s up to me to take him to the hospital?” Lassiter looks around and then huffs. “Alright, Spencer. Don’t bleed on my seats, or my dashboard, or anything but yourself.”

“I’m not a bad father,” Henry says, still holding his nose. “I care about my son.”

“Yeah, and somehow Shawn knows that even though you act the way you do.” Lassie buckles Henry in for him so that the nose remains pinched. “But here’s the thing, Spencer. Your son is an arrogant, attention-hogging, impulsive, completely absurd person, and he didn’t just become like that out of a vacuum.”

“Yes he did. I did everything I could. I did everything right as much as possible.”

Lassiter sighs as he gets into the driver’s seat. “You seriously think that? You’d be okay with your grandkid being raised that way?”

“If they had Shawn’s potential, yes.”

“... Dammit.” Lassiter turns to Henry, and punches him in the gut. Henry coughs, and then chokes on his own blood, and then coughs again.

“What the hell?!” Henry gets out between hacks.

“O’Hara would’ve done it. I feel like I owed it to her. … And honestly, Spencer, after compiling that damn case, I’ve been wanting to do it for myself anyway. I already knew you were an overbearing perfectionist with a control issue, but you wishing your son was more like that than he is is even worse.”

“Shawn’s no perfectionist,” Henry wheezes. 

“But he is overbearing with a control issue more often than not. Like I said inside, you two are a lot more similar than you think, and frankly I blame you for the parts of Shawn that go past mild annoyance and into infuriating obstacle.”

“I’d never just hand a collar over to save someone’s ego,” Henry coughs out.

“See, that’s where I wish Shawn wasn’t like you.”

“He’s handed you a collar twice.”

“What? He has not.”

And Henry must be a little delirious from the repeated blows, because Lassiter is pretty sure his next words of “See, this is why Shawn should’ve been head detective,” wouldn’t come out of him otherwise.

Lassiter grips the steering wheel tighter and makes a sharp turn into the hospital parking lot. “Well he’s not, and from the sound of things he never would’ve been anyway.”

“He could’ve been a perfect cop.”

“He’d have been miserable and you know it.”

“He’d be doing things right.”

“You’re hopeless.” Lassiter isn’t any gentler helping Henry out of the car than he was helping him in. “I’m not picking you back up when they’re done with you.”

“I’ll call Shawn.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you will.” And Shawn will come, and probably be mad on his dad’s behalf, and will definitely be mad at all three of the punchers, because he loves his dad enough to overlook years and years of mistreatment that most people would probably consider ground for cutting contact. “And Spencer? If you ever insult O’Hara’s work again, or say anything that gets her that angry, I will help her cover up your disappearance.”

“You don’t mean that,” Henry scoffs.

“Try me.” Lassiter gets back in his car. “And if I hear from her that you’re still badmouthing your son to his face, I’ll make you disappear myself.”

And then he drives away. 

And Henry walks into the hospital alone.

[poisonousquinzel]

Harley Quinn (2021-) #42

understandable or not you're on thin ice bird boy bringing up joker like that smh

[skeleton-mischief]

Dream Sans

How could he have known? How could a child understand the sins of selfishness? Well, he's now older, and Dream is tired of it all

Headcanons below, please note some things aren't canon to the actual story because I straight up just changed it for my own idea of the AU.

Some CW is light self harm and mentions of past abuse and distressing panic attacks.

- Official height 5'7

- He/They

- Positive nihilist

- The embodiment and King of Positivity. A God if you will

- They're strict when it comes to the safety of others

- Naturally warm to the touch, he doesn't get cold easily if at all

- He dreams of other versions of himself, but can never find them. He wonders if they're even real

- Has a staff that turns into a bow & arrow or even a harp

- The harp is something he plays as a hobby, but the music that comes out can put normal souls to sleep and dream happy thoughts

- Cries loudly, sniffles and whimpers. He can't stop crying once it starts and he tries to hide his face

- open-minded, carefully optimistic, intelligent, serious, kind, well mannered, loyal, cleaner, creative, assertive, pacifist, honest, patient, charismatic, trustworthy, cheerful, and reflective

- They're self reflective, he reflects on things about the world and about others frequently

- He holds an air of maturity different than others, due to his time in the multiverse

- He does not get close to others, not often anyways

- He used to follow fate, but grew to revolt against it and even "make his own reality"

- Has a yellow powder that can put others to sleep if they're exhausted already or deprived of it. But, if they're well rested, it just soothes said soul

- He can read people very easily, often picking up on body language and details that not even the monster or human is aware of

- He loves any nicknames given to him and he treasures them since that initiates a deeper level of intimacy and gentleness that he lacks in relationships. However, no one is allowed to call him Sunny since that's what Nightmare used to call him. In turn, he used to call Nightmare Nighty

- He feels every emotion others have but can only influence happiness by giving it to others or taking it away

- He has synesthesia, able to see emotions and even smell them

- He loves the color yellow and so he aims for yellow outfits, but his favorite color is actually blue and purple since it reminds him of Nightmare

- The back of his cloak looks like a cloak that was ripped into a scarf, but it can magically form into wings

- His favorite flowers are sunflowers, poppy flowers, marigolds and lilies of the valley. These flowers actually are very symbolic to his past. I suggest looking at flower language :-)

- He is always reminded of his brother when the color purple or blue appears, so he sometimes collects jewelry with gems of those colors

- He encourages rest for others but he himself struggles to sleep and even resents it to some extent due to his bad dreams. He always has nightmares, never dreams. It's always the same scene, but it changes from time to time. It always ends with seeing his brother change due to the corruption

- He is capable of going into other people's dreams and altering them to something more positive. However, he cannot do this for himself and he is almost always forgotten inside the dreams he visits

- He doesn't lie unless necessary, since he hates lying in general

- His hobbies are playing the harp, writing poetry, and making flower crowns

- His favorite snack is bananas or apple pie

- He can't stand being near statues and gets uncomfortable since he has to constantly remind himself that they're not actually sentient in any way. He used to be one after all

- He doesn't understand slang very well since his form of speaking is very formal

- They have a love for architecture, often fangirling over large and elegant architectural buildings

- He has a pet owl, but he has to summon it first. It happens to be that of a golden color, as it appears to be that of a magic species. The creator says he has a fear of owls but y'know what I say screw that!(/hj)

- He is a bit of a germaphobe, but not to an extreme extent

- Very touch oriented, he learns best through touch and sensations. You won't see him without his gloves, however, unless he's healing

- He doesn't tolerate hatred towards others, as it reminds him of how he failed his brother while he was bullied and terrorized by the village of his past

- He is wonderful with children and loves to be around them when possible, he tends to gravitate towards lonely children in order to comfort them though, since it reminds him of himself and his brother

- He is the best at giving advice, as he has to learn the hard way of living by being alone for so long

- His relationship with Ink is complex as both were childish when they first met, but that doesn't mean that they grew apart. They don't hate each other or even dislike each other, but when they talk it's usually heavy conversations and rarely a friendly visit

- Surprisingly, he sometimes drinks, it's when he's beyond stressed and he has to drink a lot or use magical beverages to get intoxicated due to his high ass metabolism

- He's a workaholic, often pushing himself to his limits since it's all he knows

- He hates small talk since why bother when there's more to talk about? He can manage it but he sometimes can't tolerate it

- He loves making gifts for others and has an excellent memory, meaning that he knows what to give others based on their interests or wants

- He is practically a Disney Princess when it comes to animals, they just gravitate towards him and hes excellent with them

- Can be up stupid early and trains frequently

- Is the best at acrobatics and flexibility

- Deeply emphatic, but it was originally due to his magic

- Multilingual, he can speak every language due to his time in this multiverse. (Also, I think it's a cool power that benefits them.)

- He's secretly insecure about his aura, worried that people only like him because of it

- He is nostalgic for apples as it reminds him of his mother, but he doesn't really comment on it since it's not quite a trigger, but it's a sensitive topic since he can freeze up if he thinks too long about his past

- He has claustrophobia and a fear of being helpless, the idea that he can't move or do anything is triggering from when he was going through the incident and was a statue

- Sexless, they mainly just like masc or gender neutral pronouns

- Hates smoking, the smell brings them back to that incident

- He barely learned how to read and write as a child, so now that he's the God/Guardian of Positivity, he still struggles. He didn't get the chance to grow those skills, so his handwriting is shaky

- Fire in general is a trigger, he never saw so much in his life when Nightmare was Corrupted. He gets nervous near flames, and the scent makes him lightheaded or fall into a panic attack

- He is a healer, something he learned after he awoke from the stone. However, he has to wear gloves or else it can overflow into things such as plant life. He couldn't heal the mother tree though, he already tried

- His mentality didn't change when a statue, but his body did. He had to stay in his destroyed world and his mind was altered. He has since then grown, but his mental state is in constant distress because he feels like a child in some ways. He didn't know what he was doing when thrown into the world, but since then he's becoming more and more jaded

- On the aroace spectrum, he doesn't have any sexual attraction but it's possible for a romantic sensation to form

- His magic smells like something akin to green scents such as dew grass or fresh flowers, while his magic tastes like sweet citrus or the flavor of sweet lemons

- He noticed that Ink only cares about the AU rather than the souls inside, more attentive to the issues there rather than the overall improvement of AU conditions

- He often has a freeze response due to being in the statue for so long, frozen and unable to stop himself as he feels helpless to react to stress at times. It would only worsen with his own self deprecating nature. It took awhile to improve, however, and now he's better

- He can heal himself pretty well along with others as long as the injury is on a scale of 1-3. 4-5 on the injury level is more challenging. It takes more time and magic, this means that he can actually pass out due to excessive healing and exhaustion

- He follows more of a duty as a guardian rather for himself and finds it his job to fix these AU's. For awhile he just tried to make everyone happy, even forcefully, but as time grew he was able to see how this isn't good. He's better at understanding the flaws of constant positivity

- He's not used to receiving physical affection since he usually is the giver. If he was hugged he'd actually just feel like the sound of Lego bricks falling apart

- (CW: some self harm, skip if you need to) He has hallucinations sometimes, especially after waking up, of his bones turning back to stone sometimes. He ends up trying to chip away at his bone in order to remove that stone, panicking and ending up becoming distressed until it actually ends up chipping his bones. As a result, he covers up a lot and it's one of the reasons why he wears so many layers. He heals himself, but he avoids trying to see his bones so that the hallucination doesn't affect him when waking up.

- Before the Corruption, he lived with a world lacking technology. So, he only had drawings (if they weren't destroyed) or other natural crafts to remember Nightmare's face. He has kept one drawing that Nighty drew of the two happy safe in his inventory, often pulling it out and reflecting on those memories. He's desperate to return to when he and Nighty were happy, but he knows that's impossible and he feels selfish for it

- (CW: Past abuse) He wasn't actually aware of the extent of abuse his brother went through and in fact he was abused as well. He was constantly pleasing others, pressured, and manipulated by the village because he was seen as something "other." He was scared for his brother, often seeing him in distress, and as a result he would sometimes convince others to leave him alone in return to doing favors for them. He always offered physical comfort, and in fact he doesn't even resent his brother for what he did. Nighty was just hurt, and he understands that. Still, he feels like he failed him and feels awful for it. He doesn't know that Nighty doesn't actually truly blame him

- He knows ASL and actually had to relearn how to speak properly, he has a bit of an accent and a rasp in his voice as a result

- Finds Ink weird, especially since he doesn't know that they're soulless

- Never learned how to cook, but hes great for natural gatherings and identifying poisonous plants, berries, etc

- the arrows of positivity can kill due to the excessive amounts, its something he only uses with Nightmare as a result

- Excessive negativity can hurt him because of his soul literally turning into a positive apple

- Because his soul is something else in some sense, he actually can't get his soul grabbed by anyone, including Error. Error is one of the only select few that knows this, since he can always tell if someone doesn't quite have a "soul"

- One of the only things that can hurt him is Nightmare's negativity, and he in turn is one of the only things that can hurt Nightmare

- He can make someone "too" happy if he wished, causing them to smile so hard they're sore and laugh to the point of becoming lightheaded and out of breath. He doesn't do it often, but he's capable of it and it's one reason he doesn't feel even close to being intimidated by others. He's actually rather dangerous when he chooses to be, he just decides to enact mercy

- After eons of having his own happiness taken away by him and dealing with negativity more intensely than he did as a child, he slowly didn't realize that he was becoming something else for awhile and the only reason he hasn't fallen down is because he ate the last golden apple and thus is physically unable to

- He thought Nightmare died when he lost himself to the corrupt apples, and when he came to, he was stuck in his world mourning the death of everyone. The villagers, the only family he had. He tried to talk to the mother tree even when she was chopped, only to cry when no response was given.

- He was only able to leave his world when Ink found him, but there actually would be a single incident before that where he was found by Nightmare who thought he was the stone that was on the ground and crumbled. It didn't end well

- He hates silence. He hates it because when he crumbled and broke free from being a statue, he has never heard such silence ever in his life

Closing Notes: heourgh. Don't look at me, these two have made me genuinely cry before. Don't acknowledge me, don't even know I exist. I love them, always have

[rose-riot-johnson]

Hey Tumblr Peeps😃👍My schedule has been super busy and I did have a lot of trouble with completing requests, which is why I mostly have been reblogging, as of late😅However on and off I also been having trouble with not disconnecting from myself unconsciously (atleast fanfic wise) and other stuff, so recently I felt I need to write another fanfic about Hisoka Morow♠️♣️🃏♦️♥️ I really do apologize to any1 who has requests that I'm still keeping to work on and who I agreed with taking on the requests with, for prioritizing getting this fanfic completed before getting of of the requests completed🦋 I have my reasons why I felt I need to work on this fanfic🦋🃏

*This fanfic contains usage of letting the reader have options of their gender identity, despite of being born, as female (even if your gender identity is still female you can use that as an option of your gender identity, as female is included) and contains 1 or more long paragraphs😅

♣️♠️Your Boyfriend, Hisoka...🃏The Man Who Will Stay By Your Side, No Matter What♥️♦️(Hisoka Morow x AFAB (Assigned Female At Birth) Reader)

Genres: Angst to Comfort (with a kiss part before the ending of this fanfic) (Warning⚠️: Murder (and mentions of murder), blood and gore, mentions of (past) abuse, and mentions of gender identity)

You have been in a relationship with, Hisoka Morow for a few years, however the issue is that he only gets to see you once in a while, due to you traveling by yourself due to what was for unknown reasons at the time. Even tough you and your boyfriend, Hisoka would know somethings about eachother from time to time from the both of you bumping into eachother occasionally, ironically despite of him reading you like a book, he still had a hard time figuring you out, as it's also really ironic that you know him better than he knows you and you definitely know more about him than he ever knew about you. He always tries to know more about you and to know you better, as he does try his hardest to be genuine with you (more genuine with you, than he would have been with anyone else), you back away from him, as you kept saying that you're not worth for him to be close to before saying that it's not him it's you, as if you felt he wouldn't understand or that you're afraid of yourself.

You first met Hisoka after you got your Hunters License from passing your Hunters Exam, as he decided to fight you to see how strong you really are. He became really impressed with how you were using your nen and how you were fighting him, so before you or Hisoka were about to defeat eachother he decided to stop the fight and let you live, considering he would rather wait until another time to continue having you fight him. He would ask what's your motive with becoming a Hunter, before you only told him, you ran away from home and that you wanted to live your life that way. Before your first time of parting ways with Hisoka, you both exchanged cellphone numbers with eachother, while the both of you introduce yourselves to eachother, making your relationship with him official, right away.

A few years later, Hisoka still couldn't figure why you ran away from home or what your "dark secrets" could be or why you felt that you should travel all alone by yourself. Gon and the gang were the only ones who noticed you travel by yourself a lot, despite of Hisoka being your boyfriend, as Gon asks him about why you travel alone a lot, which Hisoka wasn't sure, as Hisoka asks Gon about you, as Gon nor the rest of his gang knew about you either. Hisoka then knew he had to makesure he physically keeps close to you next time both you and Hisoka see eachother.

One day when you bump into Hisoka, he madesure you don't part ways from him this time, as you were reluctantly convinced (by Hisoka) to let him travel with you. He was very happy that he got to travel with you, despite of your warning to him about that something bad always happen no matter who you're around and who's around you, hinting to him this would be a bad idea and he will regret traveling with you. Surprisingly, he has been well behaved with you, despite of his usual bloodlust and fighting desires in his own ways with almost anyone else.

A few nights later, as Hisoka thought he was still snuggling with you, he woke up to notice you were out of the tent you recently shared with him, as he ended up overhearing a major altercation that lead to a major fight that ended with a deadly blow, which woke him up. When he got out of his tent, he was surprised you were covered in blood, with all of the organs left of the intruder you have killed. He walked up to you, as he said, "Even tough I was concerned about you not staying with me inside the tent, I'm glad you fought well, and that you're still alive. Would you like to wash up? You have some explaining to do!". You reluctantly decided to get yourself washed up at the river near both you and Hisoka, as you know he's right and you really felt guilty for killing your opponent for any reason.

As you got yourself (and your clothes you were wearing) washed up, you tried to apologize for what happened between you and the intruder earlier, before Hisoka assured, "It's fine, my deity... I'm surprised you got that much strength in your nen... I have plenty of kills that I've committed and have skeletons in my closet, especially for my blood lust and great fights... I'm sure I've done worse... I just am proud of you, (AFAB reader name)!". "I don't think you understand, Hisoka! That's my life of I either eventually everyone turning on me or I hurt them, even when I don't want to! Even before I started my journey to pass my Hunter's Exam to even get my Hunter's License, I became a killer! What if I kill you or you find a reason to turn your back on me?!", you snapped. Hisoka was shocked about what you just said he calmly, replied, "Wow... I never knew you felt very low about yourself... Your life must have been rough before you ran away from home, to start you journey then... If you don't mind, I would prefer you talk about it! I am curious about you after all! You're actually the most mysterious person I've ever met and known... If you refuse to talk about it's fine, however you're still stuck traveling with me for life, regardless if you let me know you more or not! After all, I may read you very well, I just feel you're also not easiest for me to figure out, unless you tell me more about yourself... I will be by your side no matter how bad your past is... I will be waiting for you to spill out your feelings, desires, your heart, and everything else to get you to stop carrying those rocks you've been carrying for a very long time! There's no need to stay a lost pony forever, like you think there is...".

You were very hesitant to talk about personal stuff, pertaining yourself at first, however you knew Hisoka has a point, as you began to realize that no matter his motives, you had no choice with talking to him about your personal life, no matter how much it hurts you nor how much you felt it could give him a reason to leave you behind. You then explained, "The intruder I killed, has been after me since I ran away from home, because I have killed my mother after I snapped due to not being able to suck up her behavior and abuse towards me, so when I snapped, I accidentally used my nen to kill her, by stabbing her through her heart, leading her to bleed to death... It was my breaking point to run away, since no one would ever believe that it was an accident that I killed my own mother with my nen! I mean, if I never was to kill her, no one would have accepted me for who I am, regardless if I finally see sight of my true self or not... It's inevitable that people either turn on me, treat me bad, or I hurt them... I'm very convinced that I was always a bad person, since then, even if people tell me... Or I want to see... That I'm good... It's just that... I never truly fit in... I never belonged... I never even was truly accepted by anyone... What makes you think you will stay by my side, for how horrible I am?!", as you began to sob. At this point he felt sad for you and he's willing to do his best to help you the best way possible, while proving to you that he's not like anyone else.

Hisoka then quickly took his night shirt off, as he then went in the water to get very close to you, until he holds you into his very own hug. He then letted you know it's alright for you to continue, if you like to continue, even though he reassured you reasons why not to think extremely low of yourself. When you weren't feeling as emotionally choked up you continued, "For most of my life on and off, I have been afraid of myself the most... More than I fear anyone else... More than I am scared of anything else... This is a big part of why I try to travel all alone, no matter what happens... I need to take everything in my own hands, all by myself... I just felt it's set in stone for me to be all alone, no matter who I'm around, I will always feel like I'm alone... I am the vast minority, after all... There's also this secret I have that no one knows... I'm not sure, if you're aware of this, however despite of the gender I identify as, I have my reasons why I take being an assigned female at birth in consideration, Hisoka... I hope that you can and be willing to accept me for who I am after I tell you my true gender identity...".

Hisoka was surprised to hear that you're assigned female at birth and you kept secret about your true gender identity. He smiled at you as he calmly, responded, "Regardless of what your gender identity is, ofcourse I would be willing and able to still accept you for who you are, my dear... By the way, if you don't mind me asking, what is your true gender identity, darlin?". As you stopped sobbing, procceding to look at him, noticing that gentle, genuine, smile on his face, letting you know it's okay for you to tell him, as you then replied, "My gender identity is (up to the reader's imagination of the gender identity the reader tells Hisoka)...".

After you told Hisoka, your true gender identity, he was very delighted that you're honest with him about your gender identity and his true colors showed that he really meant what he said, as he accepted you for who you truly are and is willing to stay by your side, no matter what you truly are and/or who you truly are. The next thing, Hisoka did was that he decided to lock lips with you, as the both of you passionately kiss together. Once the both of you finished with your passionate kissing with eachother, the both of you decided to swim in the river together for the rest of the night.

Eversince that night, you became a much happier person, as you have grown out of your shell more and you atleast gradually became yourself more and more, each day, to the point that your boyfriend, Hisoka even notices, which made him very delighted about how much you have improved with finding your identity and finally discovered your true self. Because of what happened that night with Hisoka comforting you, you have even finally managed to be yourself without the fear of judgement, worries of having to people please, and cares about keeping others happy, which made him very proud of you and very glad he decided to travel with you when he did and you're also glad he decided to travel with you, too. Your relationship with Hisoka has gotten much better, after the night he comforted you.

♥️♦️The🃏End♣️♠️

I do hope this Hisoka fanfic I worked on has made your day and/or night Tumblr Peeps🌞☀️🌝🌕 Any reader who is Afab and still identify as female, I still will honestly validate this😃👍I was originally gonna have the reader as female reader, however I did notice the other Hunter x Hunter fanfics that I have written are strictly for female reader, so I figured I'd do something a little different with this particular Hisoka Morow fanfic and write Afab reader for those who still consider themselves females, those who identify, as a different gender that is a gender identity (including gender fluid) that is or may be female and another gender, and those who identify as a completely gender that is not female at all (including agender)🤔💡While there are other characters I could have chosen for the similar plot, as this fanfic, however I felt in my heart that I wanted to write about Hisoka, when it comes to the plot of this fanfic and what lead to the reader's explanation💡🃏😃👍As for those who I still have unfinished requests that I agreed to work on and requests that I'm sure I will be able to complete that are still in my inbox, I still plan on working on requests, so while I still plan on working on these requests and I do feel guilty about completing and posting a fanfic before any requested fanfics, I also felt guilty for not completing any fanfics more, however I promise I will eventually get the requests done soon as I can focus on the requests while not unconsciously disconnecting from myself fanfic wise, as I'm trying to find ways to focus on completing the requests😅🧠🤔💭 Anyways have a wonderful day and/or night every1☀️🌞🌕🌝😃👍

[jokerislandgirl32]

✍️ + Zach Varmitech + "For you? Anything."

Something sweet for him and you!

M0th, *sobbing*, M0th, *sobbing*, I finally did it, after 2 years I finally wrote this prompt!  In response to this post.

The fic is called…..For you, Anything. Very original, right?

I’m back with this one shot that is actually a piece from my larger Wild Kratts Professor AU. Info on the AU can be found in the post below! Our by searching for this tag: #college professor wv au. The story is much larger, and I hope to post the entire story at some point, but for now I’ll give you this! 

Summary

In an alternate universe where all the Wild Kratts characters are college professors, Zach Varmitech is a grumpy Chemistry professor. He spends his days teaching lackluster students and enduring the antics of the Kratt Brothers whose offices he’s sandwiched between. To make matters worse he’s acquired a teacher’s pet who just won’t leave him alone. Violet Tyler is a kind and intelligent student who follows him around like a lost puppy. Zach tries to ignore his growing feelings for her, but one chance event changes everything... 

Warnings

The warnings to note for this piece are mild to explicit language, Professor x student relationship (both of legal age), kissing, referenced inappropriate thoughts. The big warning is abuse/implied abuse, and references to past abuse/toxic relationship. Namely verbal abuse and mental abuse are described, with physical abuse implied. The scene itself is not graphic, no one is physically harmed, but it is present, so be warned. 

Story Links

Selfship Taglist Below Cut!

@sound-traveller

@crunch-crunch-eat-a-bunch

@superherokisser

@bitchywitchheart

@3qu1us-main

@fomybeloved

@alastorswifee

@skyliv

@creativegenius22

@genderqueer-bithing

@repony1234

@mailiow

@celestetheseaunicorn

@barnesncavill

@mayixxxmoon

@gui-mauves

@evander2511

@bat-anon

@bejeweled-wahlberg

@mouschirambles

@espresso-ships

Let me know if you want to be added/removed!

[sharptoothed-gaze]

Hello fandom. I understand that very few of you will care about my personal opinion, and that's fine, but I find it important enough to how I run my blog to share anyway.

In the future, all of my posts will simply be avoiding any mention of Wilbur wherever possible. His character is a major part of Tallulah's story, but I will be keeping him away from my blog as much as I can.

Typically, I would go with a "death of the author" approach and keep mentions of the character and cc more separate. However, the cc's alleged quest for money and fame changes that entirely. I will not be contributing to that. That's just my personal choice, so there should be no shame to anyone who chooses to separate the two, obviously.

I watched Shubble's video and I saw his response. In my opinion, it was terrible. The way he centralized his own "growth," minimized the pain he caused, and left the actual apology on the second page is revealing. His statement reminds me of some of the past emotional abuse I've experienced, so his content will no longer be welcome on my blog. I believe in the merit of archiving, so I will not be deleting any past posts, but he will no longer have any place in my death family related tags.

[chaotic-orphan]

Delirious Villain x Hero Caretaker, part 3:

Read part one Here

Read part two here

TW(for all parts): panic attacks, sick villain, delirious villain, sick Whump, villain hates being sick, fear of being sick, past whump, older brother whumper, PTSD, family Whump, sibling Whump, forced to vomit, graphic depictions of fever and illness and hallucinations, panicked whumpee, hero caretaker, villain doesn’t want help, graphic depictions of throwing up, sweat, heavy manipulation

I know it took me a million years to upload this part, but I finally understand the writers WIP jokes now better, so, ahaaaah… eheh… ahem, anyways.

*~*~*~*~*

They wiped their eyes on their sleeve, eyebrows knitting together as they settled down again, lying on Villain’s shoulder, tucked up next to them cozy.

“Villain?”

“Yeah Hero?”

“The… your brother beating you… it doesn’t explain why you hate being sick,” Hero said. Villain laughed a little and Hero felt the vibrations on their cheek.

“Right, yeah. After a while, when we were older… I think I was thirteen, he was sixteen. We all got a takeaway from the local Chinese place. We were eating it at the dinner table, and it was all fine and good. Then after Brother told me to come with him. I remember I didn’t want to at first, but my mum insisted I do, so I did.”

“He walked up the stairs to the bathroom and when I got in he locked the door.”

“Did you enjoy your food?” Brother asked, arms folded across his chest, leaning against the door. The years had only made him taller, more handsome and broad. High school had turned him into an idol around town and everyone knew his name.

“Yeah, I did,” said Villain. “It was nice. Did you enjoy yours?”

“Yeah, I did,” said Brother, black eyes locked on Villain’s. His mouth twisted up into a pondering pout. “But I mean, I’m allowed enjoy unhealthy food because I work out a lot. You don’t.”

“I do,” Villain protested. “I work out everyday after school, and I’ve been eating well, the diet you gave me I’ve been doing it all to the letter, Brother, I swear.”

“Okay, so if I check your school bag downstairs I won’t find chocolate bar wrappers will I?”

Villain froze at the question. Brother pushed off the door, looming over Villain, backing them up until Villain’s legs hit the side of the bath and they sat on the edge of it, shrinking down small, but Brother kept crowding them.

“That’s what I thought. It doesn’t matter how much you work out or what diet you follow if you’re still going to eat junk food. You are what you eat, Villain. People who eat takeaway and junk food get fat. Do you want to be fat?”

“No, no, I don’t Brother. I’m sorry. I’ll stop. I pro—“

Brother’s hand shot out, wrapping around Villain’s throat and hurtling them back against the wall of the bath, their legs flying up as they fell.

“I am so sick of you and your fucking promises, Villain. They mean nothing. You know why? Because you are nothing. Yet you keep trying to worm your way out of the consequences. My patience is running thin.”

Brother squeezed Villain’s throat harder and Villain gasped and flailed, trying to escape to get air to breathe. Brother was stronger than them though, and held them there a moment longer before letting up and walking to the bathroom sink with a long, drawn out sigh.

“I’m sorry,” Villain gasped, hand’s going to their throat. “I’m sorry, Brother.”

“Sorry isn’t good enough,” Brother said, gripping the sides of the sink and staring into the mirror. “I have tried with you, Villain. I have tried so hard to make you better. To make you perfect, likeable, loveable, anything more than this pathetic thing you are, but you make it so hard! Why can’t you just be better? Fucking god fucking damn it!”

Brother turned to face Villain in the bath, walked over to them and grabbed them by the collar of the shirt yanking them out. The motion was too quick for Villain to register, they couldn’t get their legs under them in time. Villain’s legs folded against the edge of the bath as Brother dragged them out, their knees hitting the bathroom floor with a heavy thud.

“Even your body knows where it belongs,” Brother hissed. “So why don’t you?!”

Brother dragged them to the toilet and flipped up the seat, dragging a struggling Villain to it. “No! Get off me! Mum! Dad! AGH—“

Brother laced his fingers through Villain’s hair and slammed his head against the toilet bowl. Villain bit his tongue with the impact, the taste of iron flooding his mouth and nose as his body was becoming more loose and struggles ceasing slightly.

“Look what you make me do! Just obey! Obey and all this will be easier on you, Villain. I’m doing this to help you! To make you better. Stronger, and you fight me the entire way!”

Brother let go of Villain’s hair and left them kneeling in front of the toilet. Villain spat some of the blood into the bowl in protest.

“What do you expect me to do?” Villain asked, the fight gone out of them. They just wanted this beating to be over with as soon as possible. They wanted to sleep.

“You’re going to throw up your dinner.”

Villain turned their head to Brother, eyes narrowing into a glare. “No I’m not.”

“Yes you are.”

Villain put two hands on either side of the toilet bowl and stood up. Brother grinned, though his eyes betrayed the emptiness of it. The malice behind their smile. The sick twisted enjoyment of Villain being defiant.

“Getting brave now, are we?” Brother hummed, head tilting as they regarded Villain. Fists balled by their sides and that hatred fuelled glare told Brother he was in for a fight. Good. “You’re throwing up your dinner tonight, Villain. The choice is whether you want to do it, or I do it. Either way you’re not getting out of here until you do.”

“Hope you’re ready for the long haul then,” said Villain and they struck first. Brother hummed as Villain’s fist connected with their jaw.

“Maybe you have been working out,” said Brother, and he swung his fist. Villain ducked under Brother’s arm and used his momentum to shove him forward. Villain didn’t wait to see if he fell or how far, he turned to the door, unlocked it and bolted out of it and down the stairs.

Brother’s footsteps followed close behind, haunting Villain as they desperately ran to the front door, unlocking it and yanking it open. A hand slammed it shut above their head and Villain yanked at it with all their strength but it barely budged open again before clicking shut.

“Kids!” Dad said from the kitchen and Villain ran to them. To help them, save them. Brother yanked on the hood of Villain’s jumper, choking them but Villain scrambled out of the stupid jumper and kept running, fixing their t-shirt as they ran into the kitchen.

“Why are you two—“

“Brother has been beating me,” Villain all but screamed. He panted as his lungs tried to catch up with him, swallowing air like it was free pizza at the arcade. “He’s been beating me, all the time. That’s how I get the bruises. That’s how I get the cuts,” Villain said, showing them his patchwork arms that he hid beneath his hoodies and long sleeves.

Well not anymore. No more hiding. Screw that. Screw protecting their psycho older Brother.

Brother walked slowly into the room, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorframe, Villain’s jumper in his fist. Black eyes watching Villain as they spoke. Completely unfazed.

“That’s why I’m wearing jumpers in July. That’s why I haven’t worn shorts all year. He has been beating me, cutting me, hurting me— and neither of you ever lifted a finger. Ever noticed how much he was hurting me, but you know now, so please… please…” Villain begged, tears flooding his eyes and streaming fat and fast down his face. “He told me I have to throw up the Chinese we just ate. He locked me in the bathroom with him and told me either I did it or he would make me. Make me throw up.”

The more Villain spoke, the louder the silence became as their parents looked both shocked and horrified at what Villain was telling them, but didn’t say anything about it.

“Please,” Villain sniffed. “Please say something. Tell him to fuck off. To stop hurting me please. I can’t live like this, I can’t.”

“Oh sweetheart, come here,” said Mum and Villain ran straight into her arms. She wrapped him in the warmest, tightest hug he had ever had and shushed him as he cried. Running gentle fingers through his hair. “It’s okay. We’ll sort this out, okay?”

Villain nodded against her shoulder.

“You want to explain what Villain just said, Brother?” Dad asked and Villain felt warmth flood through their chest as they realised that mum and dad believed them. They actually believed them, despite what Brother had told them all this time.

Brother let out a sigh. Villain turned to face him, stepping out of their mum’s arms and slightly in front of her. Inky black eyes followed Villain’s movements and settled on their face as they spoke.

“Villain is out of control,” said Brother, voice calm. “Ever since we were kids he has been picking fights with kids for no good reason, so I’ve been trying to help him out since he came into secondary school. He doesn’t… he just doesn’t listen. Everyone else, listens! He just again and again refuses my help.”

“Your help is making sure I can’t wear proper clothes anymore you dick!” Villain yelled, a hand on their shoulder calmed them as their mum shushed them.

“See what I mean?” Brother said, gesturing at Villain. “They have these outbursts all the time! I tried to reason with them for years, and I’ve just grown impatient. The only thing that Villain responds to is violence. It hurts me as much as it hurts them, but it’s just a fact.”

“That doesn’t give you a right to hurt them,” said Dad and Brother shook their head with a scoff.

“It does. Do you know how hard it is to be perfect? I have worked my arse off trying to make you both proud of me. Trying to be the best, I just want to help people, you know this. I want to be good, and join the Hero program. I want to make the world a better place.”

“That still doesn’t explain cutting and punching your brother, Brother,” Dad scolded, glancing back at Villain’s arms. “You have left them with scars!”

“That was the last resort, Dad! That was after they got into another fight at school with a teacher no less.”

“What fight?” Mum asked and Villain stiffened under her comforting hand.

Brother sighed again, more dramatically this time and ran his hand down his face, before finally stepping into the kitchen. Villain took an instinctive step back, their back hitting Mum. Brother didn’t even smile like they usually would at Villain’s fear. It sent a shiver up Villain’s spine.

“I think you should sit down,” said Brother, tone somber and heavy. He pulled a chair out for himself and sat down. Mum and Dad shared a look then did the same. All in their usual places. Mum and dad sitting across from each other. Brother and Villain sitting across from each other.

Brother threw Villain’s hoodie onto the table and Villain took it back hesitantly, before throwing it back on.

Hiding.

Again.

It felt like one nail in their coffin.

“Ever since we were kids,” Brother began, looking at Villain. “I have been protecting Villain from getting into trouble as much as I could. Which means, if he got into a fight with another kid I would smooth talk the other kid until I knew they wouldn’t tell a teacher or their parents or anything.”

“Why?” Dad asked.

“Because…” Brother said, throwing his hands up in a useless gesture. “I had built this pristine reputation. Everyone liked me. Everyone wanted to be friends with me, and then Villain comes along and gets into fights left and right, I didn’t want people to think bad of us. Or for either of you to be troubled by Villain’s fighting.”

“Is this true, Villain?” Mum asked, and Villain’s heart sunk to the bottom of their stomach.

Villain swallowed helpless, looking from Mum to Dad to Brother. “I— yes, but I wasn’t fighting for bad reasons! I promise!”

“How many fights did you get into?” Dad asked and Villain was quiet. “How many fights a week, then, Villain?”

“I—“ Villain said with a sigh, shoulders sagging. “I didn’t keep count.”

“There was that many?” Mum asked and Villain shrunk in their seat.

“There was about three fights a week,” said Brother, and Villain glared at him.

“No way there was three!”

“You just said you didn’t keep count,” said Brother matter of factly.

Villain turned to their parents and said: “I wasn’t fighting just to fight. I was fighting like how Brother fought. For people being bullied by other people. And sometimes even for brother—“

“Punching a bully only makes you a bully, Villain,” said Dad, shaking his head.

“Say that to the people being bullied! I was a bully, but I was a bully of bullies!” Villain protested. “The bullies were afraid of me, so they left other people alone.”

“There’s no need to raise your voice, Villain,” Dad chastised and Villain bowed their head and said: “sorry.”

Dad turned back to Brother then. “And Brother, you didn’t need to take this on board for us. You should have let those kids call home so we would know what is going on with Villain as it happens. We are the parents, not you.”

Brother had the audacity to look humbled by the reprimanding. “I’m sorry dad. I just thought… I’m Villain’s big brother. It’s my job to protect them. To help them. To guide them through the troubles of High school and now that they’re older they can’t think fighting solves everything. Especially not fighting with teachers.”

When Dad turned to face Villain again, and Mum was looking at Villain too, Villain saw the way Brother’s repentance morphed into a twisted grin. As if they already knew that they had won Mum and Dad over.

“What was the fight with your teacher about, sweetheart?” Mum asked gently.

Villain frowned, foreboding settling on their chest like a breezeblock, as they realised, it didn’t matter what they said. Somehow brother would twist the story and make themselves look good. They needed to be convincing and tell the truth.

“They said that Heroes were stupid, that they ruined our city and brought all the psychos and Villains into the spotlight, said we were wasting our taxes on them when they destroy our buildings and roads with their fighting.”

Even retelling the words that stupid teacher used made Villain’s hands curl into fists by their sides, how dare they say such a thing. Bet they wouldn’t be so cocky if a Villain was holding them hostage and a Hero saved them.

“And what did you do?” Dad asked.

Villain raised their head, chin jutting in the air and said: “I told him that it was very rude of him not to appreciate how hard the Heroes work to keep us all safe. Then he got mad at me and—“

Brother snorted from across the table. All heads turned to face him. Brother had the audacity to look innocent, but their eyes held that same knowing stare, twinkling with confidence that they could win their parents to his side.

“That’s not what I heard happened,” said Brother and Villain nearly lunged for him, but with the table in the way they wouldn’t be able to reach over and punch him. “I heard you called the teacher an idiot and caused a riot in your class over Heroes and Villains and where teachers fit into the spectrum.”

“That’s a lie,” Villain hissed, slamming their hands on the table. Brother beamed at that.

“See? Villain has issues, anger issues! They can’t even handle me telling the other side of the story.”

“The other side of a story you made up in your head, Brother! You’re lying!”

Brother sat back in their chair, smug, and scoffed. Folding their arms across their chest they said, “fine. All Mum and Dad have to do is call the teacher and they’ll tell them what really happened.”

“And?” Hero asked, voice gentle and soft and safe.

Villain hummed, a wry smile on their lips. “They went to fact check Brother’s story.”

“And what happened?”

“In the time it took them to make the call, Brother had me upstairs, wheezing, winded and over the toilet, spidery fingers down my throat.”

“Christ, Villain!”

“I know,” Villain said with a small laugh. “I guess the fear started there… and Brother… they knew how much it got under my skin, more so than the cuts and bruises, so he kept doing it. In school, out of school, on the way home. He was relentless.”

“And where is he now? Brother, I mean.”

“He was here earlier but I think he’s gone now, I think, shit, I must have been hallucinating or something,” Villain said, eyes widening slightly.

“Let’s just hope you start feeling better tomorrow, Vil.”

“I better. I’m looking forward to your chicken soup,” Villain hummed and Hero laughed.

“You just spent the last twenty four hours throwing up and all you can think about is food?”

“I’m a simple person, Hero, and your soup is like a miracle cure.”

“You’re putting a lot of hope in this soup,” said Hero and Villain laughed, cuddling closer to Hero.

“No, I’m not. I just— Hero… thank you for everything today.”

“You’ve done it for me before,” said Hero, “remember the food poisoning incident? That was not pretty.”

“Just take the compliment, crime fighter,” Villain murmured sleepily. Hero just smiled and kissed Villain’s head and said: “okay, Vil. I’ll take the compliment. Go to sleep.”

Villain’s soft, even breaths was Hero’s answer, and they smiled, and closed their eyes as well. Holding Villain closer than they ever have before.

*~*~*~*~*

Continued here

[happydragon]

Finally Safe

Stak does not trust natborns. They only help you if they need things, which he knew from experience. Sometimes they take without giving. This is why he absolutely did not trust Eden even if his brothers naively did. So he decided to prepare for when they would inevitably have to leave. If only Eden would just stop being nice and prove him right.

Ao3

Rating: Teen to be safe

Word Count: 3,926

Disclaimer: While it is only hinted at, there is a reference to abuse in this fic. I promise you there are no actual scenes where the abuse happens. Stak does have trauma because of it and reacts in certain ways. While I have personally dealt with panic attacks, I know not everyone experiences them the same way and Stak doesn't even experience the same way I do. If you don't think you can read this fic that's ok. Take care of yourself first.

Otherwise, enjoy the fic

@summer-of-bad-batch

A cool breeze blew over the island, the lack of the sun made the air almost freezing. Stak slightly regretted not wearing warmer clothes, but that didn’t matter right now. He needed to get away from there. The house, the island, everything. It all felt too good to be true, that there surely was a price to pay. No one was that nice without ulterior motives. He and his brothers learned the hard way. 

So he began to save some of the food the togrutan woman who had volunteered to take in him and his brothers. She seemed nice, but natborns always acted nice before taking what they wanted. Deke was too naive to see that and Mox slowly began to agree with him. Stak knew it wouldn’t end well, which led to him sneaking down to the caves where he hid his getaway stash. There was enough food and clothes for him and his brothers for at least a month. They could easily hunt and forage for more food when they needed to. All he needed left to do was to build a raft to take them to a neighboring island. There wasn’t much light now, so he would have to wait until morning to gather the supplies, but he could start work on the raft probably in a day or two. 

“So this what you’ve been doing with the food.”

Stak spun ready to strike, only to find Mox and Deke standing at the mouth of the cave, with the latter holding a lantern at his side.

“What’s going on, Stak?” Deke asked concern coated his voice, “Why are you stashing food?”

Stak could do two things. He could lie and tell them it was for some other reason, but he was never a good liar. If he told the truth they would try to convince him he was worried over nothing. That they really were safe. He knew they wouldn’t see to reason if he tried to explain. 

“He’s preparing to leave,” Mox answered, his eyes never leaving Stak’s. Kriff. He forgot how perspective Mox could be. He probably was the first one to notice Stak not eating the food. 

“Leave?” Deke echoed, “But why would he want to leave? Eden has given us plenty of food and shelter. She’s been good to us.”

“That’s what she wants you to think,” Stak retorted, frustrated with his brother’s naivety,  “Soon she’ll want something in return for all we’ve done and it won’t be a price I’m willing to pay. So I gathered enough supplies to last a month for when we had to eventually leave. Hunter and Wrecker were nice but they’re too busy looking for their own. We have to look after ourselves.”

“But everyone here has been kind to us,” Deke argued, “Even if Eden were to do something, which she won’t, then we could stay with them.”

“How can you be sure? How do you know they won’t listen to whatever lie she’ll tell them?”

“She wouldn’t do that!”

“How can you be sure?!”

“Enough!”

Deke's face turned guilty at the thought of getting in trouble. Stak on the other hand turned his head to glare at the ground. While he was angry that Deke wouldn’t see to reason, he was angrier at Eden for manipulating his brother so well. 

“I understand your fears, Stak,” Mox began, “But Deke is right. Eden would never hurt us.” Stak opened his mouth to argue but Mox interrupted, “I’ll make you a deal. If she reveals her true colors like you said, we’ll leave and it’ll be just the three of us again. But if she isn’t you’ll apologize for stealing her food. Deal?”

“It’s not stealing if you’re given it,” Stak mumbled.

“Do we have a deal Stak?” Mox pressed, his eyes telling Stak that Mox heard him. Eventually, Stak grumbled but nodded. He hated that he had to sit and wait for her to make a mistake, but at least he’d be able to gather more supplies in the meantime. He just had to be patient.

************************************************************************

That turned out to be a lot harder than he thought. Eden was frustratingly good at pretending. No matter what he did, Stak could not get her to slip up. Every time he thought he got her for sure, she would just react normally. Like to her it really was an accident when he dropped the cup or she really did misplace her work gloves after she spent all morning looking for them, thus making her late for work. Mox nearly strangled Stak for that. He felt a little guilty after that incident. 

Although, he thought he finally had his proof after dinner one evening when she came into the room he shared with the others. She knocked before entering and asked to talk to him. He sat cross-legged on his bed, studying maps of the nearby islands. He wanted to make sure they chose a good one when he and his brothers left. 

When she walked in, she didn’t ask to sit on the bed with him, but instead pulled the chair from the small desk in the room and placed it next to his bed. 

“I just wanted to see how you were adjusting,” she began calmly, “Been almost a month and a half since you and your brothers arrived here.”

He shrugged and played with the hem of his pant leg. This was probably some ploy to get him to lower his guard. Fat chance. 

“Yeah, your brothers said you probably wouldn’t say much, but that’s alright. I wasn’t much of a talker when I first came here either. I was a little older than Mox actually. Well, sorta.”

For the first time since she came into the room, he finally looked up. Her dark mustard yellow face had a far off look with her mouth turned into a small smile as she reminisced when she first came to Pabu. Unlike what little he remembered of General Shaak Ti, Eden had less white markings on her face and a light mud brown colored most lekku and montrals. She was dressed out of her work clothes and into a simple blouse and pants. 

“I’m an orphan,” she eventually went on, “Was raised by my aunt for a few years, but she was a horrible nasty woman. Ran away from home after I found she was going to send me away.” 

Stak would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious now but he definitely wasn’t going to admit it. 

“Hopped from ship to ship, picked up a couple of tricks until Shep and his dad, the previous chief, found me. They took me to Pabu and gave me a home. Some of the locals were kind enough to take me in. They gave me a fresh start and now I get to do the same.”

When she finished, she looked back at Stak with a kind and sincere smile and he knew his brothers were right. Eden would never hurt them. She was just like them. The guilt of all he had done immediately began to drown him. Eden had shown him nothing but kindness and he’s been nothing but trouble. 

“Enough about that,” she interrupted his spiraling mind, “I didn’t come in here to talk about myself. I wanted to ask if there was something you wanted to get.”

He cocked his head confused. Get something?

“This is your home now too. It’s only fair you get some sort of say in it. Of course, I’d prefer not to have certain things like a machine blaster, but I can work a compromise.”

“I’d have to think about it,” he said honestly after a moment. 

“I can work with that. Find me when you do think of something though okay?”

Stak nodded and she sent a smile his way, which he found easy to return. She then returned the chair back to its place and left the room. 

From then on, things began to look up. Stak realized Eden was actually kinda cool and she would teach him and his brothers loads of things that weren’t taught before like silly games and such. One stormy evening she was showing Deke how to dance while Deke and Stak helped prepare the night’s dinner. 

Stak didn’t know where it went wrong, but he knew it was his fault. One moment he was laughing at the sight of Mox as he stumbled his way as Eden tried to show him how to dance, the next Stak was panting, Eden’s holding her upper arm tight as blood dripped down her arm, and Mox and Deke were staring at Stak with wide eyes. He finally looked down at his hand and found the knife he had been using to cut vegetables. The knife he used to hurt Eden. He hurt Eden. It was his fault.

Immediately he dropped the knife like it burned him and looked back in horror at Eden.

“I’m alright, Stak,” Eden stuttered as she tried to approach him, “I know it was an accident. I’m not going to do anything I promise. You won’t get in trouble.”

He shook his head as he slowly backed away. He didn’t believe her. He ruined everything. Because of his stupid fear, he hurt one of the few people that cared about him. 

Eden took another step forward, but Stak couldn’t let her get hurt again. So he spun and ran out and into the pouring rain. They cried out his name but he didn’t turn back. He couldn’t stay here anymore. He was too much of a danger. 

His feet carried him to the cave where he hid his supplies and a half-built raft. Luckily the cave had yet to be flooded by the rising ocean but that could change. He needed to leave soon. It would be crazy if Stak tried to use the raft in the storm, but he had already caused enough hurt, so stealing a boat was out of the question. The raft wasn’t perfect but it would do the job. 

He worked quickly, trying to balance the supplies on the raft so it wouldn’t tip over when he got on. Just as he was about to step on, a voice called out, “Wait!”

Whipping his head around, he found Deke running toward him.

“I’m not going back!” Stak yelled over the storm as he turned back to his task at hand, “I can’t! Not after what I’ve done!”

“I wasn’t going to stop you! I’m coming with you!”

Stak froze, not believing his ears. He must have misheard his brother. That had to be it.

“Did you really think you're going without me?” Deke continued, “Not going to happen. You're my brother. We stick together.”

“But you’re happy here. Why would you want to leave?” Especially with me Stak thought but left unsaid. 

“If you left I wouldn’t be. You and Mox are my home. I love living here, but I can’t lose you.”

“You belong here with her. I don’t. I’ll only hurt her.”

For a moment, Deke said nothing and Stak thought his brother had left, but when Stak looked up, Deke had come closer and reached to place a hand on his brother’s shoulder. 

“I know it was an accident,” Deke began, “And I know why you did it. You tried to hide it, but I remember the way Dr. Glint looked at you. She hurt you, didn’t she?”

Stak could barely bring himself to nod. He tried not to think about her and it was easy since they weren’t on Setron anymore, but it didn’t stop his instincts. Instincts that hurt Eden, who would never do that kind of stuff to him or his brothers.

“I’m not safe,” Stak whispered, “I’ll just hurt her.”

“What if there was a way you could learn not to? I overheard someone ask Eden if she would take us to a mind healer. Eden said she wouldn’t make us if we didn’t want to.”

“And they could fix me? The mind healer?”

“I don’t know but you can give it a shot, right? But that would mean you’d have to stay here. If you still want to leave, I’m coming with you.”

“What about Mox? You said he was your home too.”

“He could catch up with us later. So what are we doing?”

Stak turned over every word. If he could be fixed he wouldn’t have to leave. He could stay with Eden and his brothers. The question was if Eden still wanted him, even after everything. Only one way to find out. 

He nodded and let his brother take his hand as Deke led them back to Eden’s house. Thankfully the storm had dissipated, allowing the cadets a clear path home. As they approached the house, they heard yelling, causing Stak to momentarily panic. Was that his fault too? If Deke noticed Stak’s hesitance, he said nothing and continued forward. When they got closer, Stak could make out Eden and Hunter’s voices. The older clone had just gotten back a few days from a mission. A few weeks ago he and Wrecker came back to Pabu with not only Omega but another clone named Crosshair. Stak hadn’t met him yet, but he’d see the solitary clone walking around sometimes. 

“Eden listen,” Hunter began calmly, but was interrupted by a furious-sounding Eden.

“No, you listen Hunter! You’re not the one who’s been watching after him for the past three and a half months! You’re not the one who helped discover Deke’s love for robotics or taught Mox how to cook something other than roasting whatever he could catch! You’re not the karking one who watched as Stak finally realized he had a home here and no one would hurt him, not even those karking Imperial scientists! So I don’t kriffing care if you think it would be better if just clones looked for him, I am looking for him with or without your help!”

Stak barely had a moment to process her words before Deke pulled the two of them into the house and startled the occupants. Eden stood head to head with Hunter, who had his hands up in surrender, and immediately whipped her head toward the door Stak and Deke came from. Apparently, they weren’t the only ones in the house, as Stak spotted Crosshair leaning against the kitchen countertop, Wrecker standing next to Hunter and Omega huddled with Mox in a different corner where they seemed to have been talking before Stak and Deke walked in. Mox reacted the quickest, sprinted toward Stak, and tackled him, nearly sending him to the ground. After a moment, Stak overcame his shock and hugged his brother in return.

“Please never do that again,” Mox whispered into Stak’s shoulder as the former buried his head and hugged tighter. Stak said nothing as he buried his head into Mox’s neck and nodded. It felt amazing to be in his big brother’s arms. He was safe and protected. 

“Looks like we don’t have to find him after all!” Wrecker cheered. Stakk briefly looked up and saw Wrecker make his way over to the two cadets and rustle Stak’s head. The gesture made Stak smile, if only for a moment. 

“Looks like we’re not needed here anymore,” Hunter said, which caused Stak to fully raise his head, “It’s late and we should head back.” 

Eden nodded, then said after she cleared her throat, “Thank you for offering to help. I’m sure the boys appreciated it.”

Hunter nodded then turned to Stak and said, “Try not to pull any more stunts like this again.”

Stak nodded and then one by one each of the Bad Batch filed out with Omega bringing up the rear as she beamed a smile and waved at him and Mox. Eden showed them out and made sure to shut the door behind them before she turned to Stak and Mox who were still in each other's arms. She didn’t approach, instead asked if Stak was hurt anywhere. When he shook his head, she nodded, then told him he and Deke should change out of their wet clothes and asked Mox to get a blanket from the chest in her room while she prepared something warm for them. 

Mox and Deke nodded, so Stak reluctantly let go of his brother to head to the bedroom. Deke volunteered to change in the bathroom and let Stak change in their room. After Stak changed, he turned to leave the room but hesitated. The realization finally struck Stak that Eden knew. She knew about what happened to him. Did she know everything? Did she pity him? Was she disgusted? All she did was ask if he was hurt and barely acknowledged him. Was she more upset than she said she was when he attacked her?  Maybe it would be best if he stayed in his room. He would cause less trouble that way. 

Slowly, he backed away from the door and instead buried himself under his covers. It had been a long night anyway. He was tired, wet, and not even hungry despite what his stomach said. As he lay there he didn’t know if it was hours or minutes, but he knew he couldn’t fall asleep despite his exhaustion. For the first time since Sentro, he was terrified to close his eyes and see her again. 

Suddenly a knock sounded from the door. It took everything in him to not let his voice crack as he answered, “I’m not hungry. I was just going to go to bed.”

There was silence so he assumed whoever it was they just left. 

“Can I talk to you for a moment?” Eden called for a moment. If he said no, she would probably leave him alone. He should say no and just try to sleep. A part of him wanted to say no. Another smaller part of him wanted to let her in. If only to not think about Sentro. 

Eventually, the smaller part of him won out and allowed her to come in. He didn’t get out of bed but he sat up as she walked in. Her face was unreadable as carried a single mug of something steaming. It smelled delicious. 

“I figured you might want something for your stomach, even if you're not hungry.”

As he reached out to take it, a thank you on his tongue, his eyes caught the bright white bandage on her arm. The same arm where he cut her. Suddenly the drink didn’t seem so appetizing anymore. He lowered his hands and head and mumbled “No thank you,” as he tried to look anywhere but her. In a need to feel small, he pulled his knees up and wrapped his arms around his legs, while he rested his head on top of his knees. 

Stak heard Eden sigh and placed the mug on his nightstand. She would probably leave now since she was probably too tired to deal with him. He would. 

“I’m sorry, Stak.”

Of all the words he expected her to say, those were nowhere on the list. His head snapped so fast as she looked at him with a sorrowful expression. 

“I should have asked before touching you like that and I’m sorry that I made you feel unsafe. That is the last thing I ever wanted to do. This deserves to be your safe space just as much as it is mine and your brothers. If you would rather go live with Hunter and them, I won’t stop you-”

“No!” he exclaimed, startling both himself and Eden. 

“I-I mean I don’t want to leave,” he continued more softly as he turned his head away again and picked at his blanket, “I like it here and so do my brothers. Earlier wasn’t your fault anyway.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched her crouch down and place a hand on the edge of the bed as far from him as possible. 

“It wasn’t yours either,” she said in a soft voice, “I don’t know what happened to you or your brothers, but I do know no one deserves to go through what you boys went through. When I let you into my home, I wanted to give you what I had when I was brought here and I failed that. If you’d allow me, I would love to try again.” 

He lifted his head to meet her eyes, and whispered, “What if I hurt you again?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, but I can promise you, I’ll still want you here even then. I wanted to run after you so bad, but Mox convinced me to get my arm wrapped up and get reinforcements. Once the storm had finally cleared up, well, I’m sure you heard the rest.” 

He nodded as he looked down again. Hunter must have said something really bad that made her upset. She’d never been like that with him or his brothers. Technically, Hunter and the others were his brothers too but it wasn’t the same. 

“So what do you say?” Eden hummed, gently pulling him from his thoughts like he was a hurt loth kitten. If it were anyone but her, he would have snapped at them, but Eden was different. A good different. 

“I want to stay with you,” he answered as he turned his head toward her again, “I want to get fixed.”

Her face shifted into a sad smile, immediately making his hackles rise. She noticed this and held her hand up in a stop motion. 

“I’m willing to do anything to help,” she began slowly, “But I want to know I would still want you even if you’re broken.”

Oh. She couldn’t possibly mean that. Dr. Glint had said no one would want a broken clone like him. But Dr. Glint enjoyed taunting and lying to Stak, just to get a raise out of him so she could punish him. Eden on the other hand had never lied to him. At least that he knew of. Even if she did, he trusted her more than Dr. Glint. 

He hadn’t even realized he was crying until Eden held a tissue to his face, not wiping the tears herself because she didn’t want to touch him unless he wanted to. He ignored the tissue and leaped straight for her. She fell back from the weight of him and Stak almost immediately pulled away, scared he hurt her again. Then he felt her arms wrap around him as she squeezed him tight. Soon he heard the door open, causing both of him to lift their heads to find Mox and Deke, out of breath and staring at Stak and Eden with worried expressions. 

“We heard a thud,” Mox explained. 

“We thought Stak tried to run again,” Deke added, fear evident in his voice. 

Eden said nothing as she held a hand out to his brothers. Deke took the invasion first and dropped to the floor as Eden pulled him close to her side. Stak gently placed his own hand arm around his brother as Mox walked to the other side of Eden. As he knelt to the ground, she wrapped her free arm around him and pulled him close as well, now surrounded on three sides. Stak cozied close to his brothers while Eden rested her cheek on his head. For what felt like the first time, there was no other place Stak wanted to be.

Disclaimer: Stak sees himself as broke and unworthy and believes everything will be fixed after he sees a therapist. I do not share that opinion and know healing and recovering from trauma can take a long time depending on the person.

If there is anything I need to add to the tags please let me know. I hope you enjoyed the fic and I didn't offend anyone.

Would love to hear y'all's thoughts!!!

[starscoffeecreamer]

Whirl gets sent to Lost Light after being thrown around several other farms. Every past farm they transferred him to either pushed him around too much and made him snap, or they would throw him in stalls with studs and not give him any choice in the matter. He reacted violently each time, often fighting studs they attempted to mate him with, and led to him being moved to a new facility before he even got settled. The Lost Light would be his last chance in being a good little cow despite his reputation of being volatile and aggressive, or else he'd be shipped straight to Garrus-9, the only place that'd take a badly behaved cow like him who's already had too many chances.

He's on high alert the second he's dropped at the farm. He just wants to get it all over with, fight with someone so they ship him away where at least he won't be displaced again. He assumes the Lost Light handler crew are just trying to trick him into behaving, letting him have his own stall and open access to as much energon as he wanted so he'd be nice and docile. He was waiting, on the attack, for when they would inevitably shove a stud into his stall and lock them in.

He's almost shocked when there's a knock at his stall, and it's not even a stud trying to see him.

Tailgate, incredibly nosey, is well meaning. He just wanted to meet his new stall neighbor, and he had yet to see Whirl leaves his designated area. Tailgate was very heavy with sparklings, and it almost surprised Whirl how happy he seemed about it. He was used to his old farms being solely focused on the stud's treatment, where cows were there to be used and nothing more. If Tailgate had caught on to Whirl's harsh attitude in their conversation, he was good at ignoring it. The minicow just talked on and on to Whirl about how nice the farm was, about his friends he would love to introduce Whirl to later, and what caught Whirl off guard the most, how lucky he felt to meet his conjunx there.

Whirl was so unused to being at a farm where the studs cared for the cows they'd spark up, it was almost unimaginable to him that a cow would not only pick their stud, but be able to only be with one that they loved. Tailgate talked about Cyclonus like he wanted to be with him, that hadn't been something Whirl had thought about since he started getting moved from farm to farm.

Tailgate and Whirl get closer as time goes on, but Whirl never seems to run into Cyclonus for more than a few minutes when seeing Tailgate, which he's happy for. He still didn't feel like he could let his guard down enough to let a stud in his room, but he had been more social since befriending Tailgate. He'd leave his stall to meet the other cows, and he was doing fine around studs in the common areas, he just wasn't ready to start carrying for anyone yet. It almost made him worry, but he wouldn't admit it. He wasn't ready, but he didn't know how long they'd let him stay at the Lost Light without producing. For the first time Whirl had no interest in getting himself kicked off a farm. It wasn't just because the Lost Light treated him well that made him want to stay, he finally felt like he was starting to belong somewhere. They were really nice there, but how far could he push his luck not having anything to offer? He didn't want to lose his friends all because of his attitude.

Whirl would finally have a full encounter with Cyclonus when Tailgate's latest sparklings were born. He invited Whirl over to meet the little ones first, and obviously Whirl couldn't pass that up. He goes to the next stall, and Tailgate was curled up comfortably in his nest laying in Cyclonus' lap, holding two cute little sparklings close to him. Whirl had never seen another cow look so at peace. He was used to the terrible conditions he came from, where calves would be taken away after they were delivered and cows were made to pump milk after until they were deemed fit to carry again. Tailgate invited Whirl closer to hold a sparkling, and seeing Cyclonus have no strong reaction to that, he carefully moved in.

He didn't love being so close to a stud's nesting area, but his closest friend wanted him to hold his sparklings, and he couldn't disappoint. It was all a little tense at first, but Tailgate cut right through it as he always did, babbling about how cute they were and how much he already loves them. The three of them had a nice night introducing the little ones to the world, and Whirl felt at ease for the first time with a stud so close.

Pretty soon, Tailgate was asking Whirl to watch the sparklings, just for enough time for him to stretch and have some time to himself. He was babysitting one morning when he heard a knock on his stall. He was expecting Tailgate on the other side, but froze when Cyclonus stepped in. His first reaction was holding the little ones closer to his frame, some part of his mind screaming irrationally that Cyclonus would take them and he'd never see them again. Cyclonus didn't approach Whirl further, seeing the cow tensing up. He sat at the other side of the stall and just held his hands out, wanting to hold his sparklings. Whirl passed them over silently, and the two sat together quietly waiting for Tailgate to return.

Whirl's thoughts were going a mile a minute, until Cyclonus finally spoke. He thanked Whirl, not just for watching their sparklings recently, but for being there so much for Tailgate. Whirl doesn't know what to say to that, so his first reaction, the instinct that kept getting him displaced, was to be snappy with Cyclonus. It killed the conversation quickly, luckily Tailgate came back at the right time to get them out of the awkward situation.

Whirl secluded himself to his stall more after that, only making himself seen when he finally needed some energon. All his worst thoughts came back to him hard. He had to start pushing everyone away again, but he really didn't want to. He still hasn't produced anything for the farm since he got there months ago, it was only a matter of time till they got rid of him anyways, he was convinced of it. He had no reason to insert himself into Tailgate's life, the minicow was clearly too busy with his loving stud and sparklings to need to add Whirl to his list of worries too.

While Whirl was spiraling, there was a knock on his stall. He stayed silent and listened as Cyclonus talked to him from across his stall. He was sent over by Tailgate to ask Whirl to come by since, apparently, the sparklings missed him. Whirl didn't believe it for a second, and said something nasty back to Cyclonus without turning to look at him. He wanted to bait Cyclonus into fighting with him, finally getting himself shipped off like what he told himself he was always going to do. He didn't deserve all the goodness Lost Light had offered him, after all.

Cyclonus stepped closer to Whirl, not reacting to the taunting. He got as close to Whirl as Whirl seemed he could handle, which still left him half across the room but still the furthest any stud has gotten into his stall. He told him, so genuinely that Whirl couldn't even warp it in his mind, that no matter how hard he fights it, he is wanted by both of them. Tailgate has been down lately not seeing him so often, and Cyclonus is feeling the absence in their space more than he realized he would. They wouldn't push Whirl into spending time with them, but their stall was always open to him. Cyclonus would leave after that, and leave Whirl in a completely different mess of thoughts.

Later in the night, when Cyclonus had put the sparklings to sleep and Tailgate was curled up in their nest with his belly already beginning to swell again, Whirl stepped in without a word. He nestled up beside Tailgate in his nest like it was his, and the minicow felt his spark swirl fast with joy. Cyclonus, who was situated comfortably at Tailgate's other side, was happy to move to give their surprise guest more space. Whirl said nothing about the smile he saw on Cyclonus' face or about Tailgate pulling him closer to snuggle with him, he just rested one claw hand on Tailgate's belly and held Cyclonus' hand with the other claw, and the three stayed together through the night.

After that day, studs still didn't go into Whirl's stall, but that was because Whirl didn't even go in his stall. He moved himself right in with his new amica and his conjunx. He had taken to following Tailgate more, with the minibot already waddling with his big sparklings. Whenever Cyclonus wasn't touching Tailgate's cute bump, Whirl was. Lately though, Tailgate and Cyclonus wanted their hands all over Whirl, Cyclonus especially, as he would gently run his claws over the small bump slowly growing on Whirl. Whirl was constantly running his claws over his belly, finally wanting to carry now that he felt safe and secure in his home with bots that cared about him

holy shit anon, I love how you really said "I'm gonna plot today"

Poor Whirl, I love the way you give him a reason to act out so much. Maybe his empurata was a punishment from a past farm as well. I love how Tailgate's first instinct is to befriend him. I love everything about this-