#TW!Abuse

[ladyddanger]

(I’ve written this many times trying to get the wording right. So if this seems wordy that’s why. I’d rather talk too much than too little.)

I’m barely active on this blog but I still have a lot of followers for some reason so i feel the need to at least say something. Support Shubble, support Rue, support everyone else who has or in the future comes forward about Wilbur.

Give the victims the outpouring of love and support they deserve for being brave enough to speak on his vile behavior.

That said don’t you dare play games with this. Dont ignore the obvious misogyny at play don’t be weird and parasocial. This isn’t a fucking gladiator match and it’s not for your entertainment or for you to push an agenda. Frankly I’m seeing horrible behavior from people I used to respect and consider my friends.

This is the link the Shubble’s vod and tweet about Wilbur’s apology. To Rue’s statement and to the national domestic violence hotline

-Personal stuff-

As for this blog I’m logging out permanently. As a victim of multiple abusive relationships I can’t stay in this space. It’s kinda that funny now that I never talked about my abuse with anyone here besides a small group of people because I didn’t feel safe enough to do so in this space. I’m not deleting any of my work including c!Wilbur because I don’t think I can go through it without having a breakdown. My friends know how to reach me. Take care of yourselves.

Max/Lady.

[moku-and-his-madness]

long ass, probably confusing, shouldnt give a fuck vent....it'd be hard to try and make sense of it...

so...tw for a lot of things...i dunno how to tag them...;-;

DID. probably the main topic on my mind right now. im trying to find out whats going on in my head....its fucking busy up there.

so, i have SOMETHING in my head...be it BPD or i dunno anymore.

But one thing i know for sure is that theres something. but it could be just placebo affect. it may sound wrong but i was always kinda jealous, of people with DID or systems. because the alters could protect them from memories and trauma.

and when i started to get a better understanding of how DID works...i was upset. because my mind felt so hallow, with all the memories and pain and horror just ringing in my head. there are just times where im so desperate for something, anything to be there for me to run towards to make me forget or to shield me from my pain but it would just make me angrier when there was nothing there. and this also got me thinking...is there something wrong with me? 15 years of pain, and lies, and abuse, and rape, and cutting, and horrible horrible unsaid things and events, constantly and nobody ever knew? i kept it all in and everyone still thought i was fine?

sometimes i try and convince my own self that that mask i kept up was to protect everyone, that the harsh words and thoughts were to be kept separate. so i compartmentalized, i separated my thoughts and emotions to not have to deal with the constant pain. but sometimes it slips through, and it doesn't even sound like me.

its cruel and its harsh and its raw emotion in a cocktail even i myself don't even have a name for. its uncontrollable, and its uncomfortable, and im scared it will get loose. im balancing and teetering my life during a balancing act of chaos....and id like to give in, but im reminded how my impulse hurts others, ruins relationships, destroys lives. and its all on loop inside my head constantly repeating and it hurts. "I want it to stop" words ive said like a mantra thinking it'd help in some way...

and i dont know whats wrong...ive changed so many times its hard to see through the millions of grayscales of myself...

i really do wish it would all stop sometimes...

[compassionatereminders]

The worst thing is that there is so much potential for exploring the horror of psych wards from the angle of medical abuse, ableism, forced treatment/drugging, loss of autonomy, power imbalance, demonization, dehumanization, etc, and YET the horror genre keeps defaulting to "insane asylums and psych wards are scary because there are mentally ill people in there"

[violetsandshrikes]

I met a girl when I was fresh out of high school in undergrad who frankly, annoyed me quite a bit, but I also had an inkling to continue to be compassionate to her given a few things about her life/background/family

I ran into her two years ago. Last week, her daughter turned 1. This girl, let’s called her “P”, is a really good example of why I never feel comfortable mocking trad wives

Her perfect trad husband, who was a shining young figure in the local religious community, volunteered in all sorts of groups, well loved in his workplace and everything else, beat her up at 1 month post-partum. I reached out to her after seeing her desperately asking for a stroller on a page, confused and slightly concerned knowing both of them came from wealthy backgrounds.

The reality for lots of tradwives living “perfect lives” is this: P was immediately ostracised. All the wealth of her husband and her family meant absolutely nothing if she wasn’t in favour and doing what she was told. Her child and her well-being didn’t matter. P, at 25 years old, was basically deemed an oopsie, and left on her own to figure out how to pay for herself, a baby, find housing, and every other task you can think of.

Having known many of these women (and supported many of these women), another factor most people don’t consider is this: they are intentionally raised to be helpless. When I immediately offered my support to P, she really needed it. This young woman needed to be guided through how to apply for government assistance, how to weigh up rentals and apply for them, how to apply for jobs, how to sign up for childcare. How to sign up for your own power and internet, and how to connect them.

It wasn’t that she was “stupid”, or incapable, or spoiled. While it looks like they’re being sheltered, in reality, these women are practically being held hostage. Sure, they might be allowed to learn things that are expected of them (see: basic cooking, baking, cleaning, child rearing, women’s bible studies, hosting, and so forth) but they are heavily controlled from family life into marriage life, and they are never given the opportunity or the reality of what many of us would consider basic adult tasks.

She’s doing okay now. Her daughter turned 1, is happy and healthy. They live frugally, but they have a roof over their heads and the essentials. I often babysit for her so she can attend counselling, or go to a woman’s support group. She is painfully aware that she has so much to learn about how to live as an adult.

I don’t envy tradwives, but I don’t find any joy in mocking them either. Even when they live the most picturesque lives, they’re also practically living a real life Jenga game. If (and often, when) it comes tumbling down, they’re screwed too, and they often have 0 skills to help themselves or find community (that again, isn’t carefully curated).

[wildbasil]

things haven't been great but i think they will be. eventually 🌻🌼🩷

[classycookiexo]

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

How Bill was defeated and captured by Ford in my Gf AU! He basically just tricked Bill into accepting a deal that trapped him within Ford's mind and under his control :]

He may have gotten a little out of hand though....

>:)

Next post :]

[professorcalculusstanaccount]

I decided to clean up an old comic of mine! A thirty something year old Tintin reflects on his childhood with Chang.

[teaboot]

Adult ProTip, from a security professional: If a kid tells you, "My parents are gonna kill me / kick my ass / kick me out" for something relatively minor, don't respond with shit like "Really? ;) that sounds a little extreme, don't you think sweetie?" because that shit really does happen.

Instead, respond as though whatever threat they are afraid of is fully valid, and offer whatever you can do to help- ask if they believe they are in danger of being hurt in any way, and work accordingly.

If they're overreacting, they'll usually realize and dial it back, self-correct and begin thinking a bit more rationally.

If they're not overreacting, and the danger is real, then they'll need a level-headed adult in their corner, not another condescending authority figure who doesn't believe them.

[star-anise]

In a sick way I find it really funny how toxic estranged parents say "in the old days, people had to stick around and work their issues out!"

Things People Did Back in the Old Days to Escape "Working Things Out" with Their Parents, A Short List:

Murder them!

Marry literally anyone who'd get you away

Fisticuffs

Change your name and pretend to be an orphan

Move out and feud with them for several generations

Join a monastery

Move to the city and get a job in a factory

Buy passage on a boat to some other continent

Convert to a different religion

Join the Navy

ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING

It's incredible, the number of things people would do to get away from shitty parents. Then and now.

[ladyddanger]

Ok but c!tommy’s teeth. At the start of the smp c!Tommy has braces. C!Wilbur did them and he did his best but fucked them up ever so slightly so Tommy’s teeth were still crooked. C!Dream knocked his last baby tooth out in exile. When c!Dream killed him he knocked his teeth out. They grew back sharp and pointed.

[animentality]

[temperheist]

mentorship was probably scary for him at first

[jigsaw-copycat]

who's coming to the saw patrol double feature /j

[ID: An article headline from the website Den of Geek reading "Forget Barbenheimer and Get Ready for Saw Patrol. Saw X and Paw Patrol: The Mighty Movie are now set to be released on the same day." End ID.]

[bonefarm]

While we are on the subject - financial abuse is not always just physically taking money away or not having a savings account or escape stash. For a lot of people it is the other spouse sabotaging your credit score, constantly overspending, and you being unable to trust that joint household bills and loans are paid. Did you know that once you add an authorized user to your bank account it’s nearly impossible to remove them without their permission? Did you know that your spouse, who likely knows your birthday and SSN, can often gain access and reset passwords for any online accounts and create new ones?

Financial abuse will ruin your life and there’s really nothing except significant time that fixes it. If you are in a situation where you think this might happen to you you should freeze your credit with all three major agencies. You can find info on how to do this at USA.gov/credit-freeze

This is not something that only happens to tradwives. You are not exempt because you are independent or competent.