idroppedmycookie

[idroppedmycookie]

diary entry 002: the brain's concept of comfort = best is STUPID!!!

i was thinking about this today, like. i finally gained 1/5th a braincell to achieve critical thinking, and it occurred to me... the way we (humans) choose comfort over the unknown is so fuckin STUPID. like what the fuck i mean if you expect the worst to happen, shouldnt you want to choose the unknown? you dont know what the unknown is?

but anyways, so yeah that shit came to me and you know what else came to me? I am just as stupid as my silly little brain. when me and my boyfriend (now ex, again. but no rant for that one i kinda dont gaf this time) first broke up.. I was absolutely fuckin shattered for weeks. shaved all my hair off, told myself I was going to be free, live a little, try new things.

did i do any of those things? haha, no. well anyway about two weeks later.. that was when he came back, and he was perfect. kinda the way i was manifesting haahhaha. so funny story, while he changed, I was still an absolute trainwreck. (still am, need to work on that) so of course we fell apart again. and it's the dumbest thing, cause..

I told myself I was over him. I mean I shaved of ALL my hair. AND my eyebrows! WHO DOES THAT?! Someone whos OVER someone/something. and yet still, I walked right back into the same prison I had JUST left (my ex-boyfriend's evil clutches) just because it was more comfortable than letting him go permanently and focusing on myself & trying to meet someone else.

man i feel like a weights been lifted off my shoulders. not shaving my head again. i think ill walk out the prison with hair this time, if the universe doesn't mind

[idroppedmycookie]

[idroppedmycookie]

diary entry 001 letsss gooooo

dating is so fucking stupid like who even invented that shit? like which caveperson looked at another caveperson and thought.. "yo lets have sexual and romantic relation with each other" ? like i feel like a world without relationships... dude a world without relationships would look exactly like this

this is the world, if dating & romance & kissing & such the fuck .. didnt exist.

now why do i feel this way? yeah uhh it started when my fucking lousy piece of **** ******** ******** boyfriend decided that he wanted to get back together... AND YET HASNT TEXTED ME. AT ALL IN OVER 24 HOURS. am i overreacting? well , if that was the only problem then YES but ..... i'm not like, full on trauma dumping on my public tumblr blog cmon man but uhhh just know dude when I get over this guy I swear to god I'll fucking ascend. like you know how in movies they just kinda fly up to the sky and shit? yeah thats me once i get over this douchenoodle and find some self-respect. just wait dude just fuckin wait