#TUMBLR NEVER LETS ME POST HERE ITS SO FRUSTRATING

[alexapillustration]

☀ 𝕷𝖎𝖓𝖐𝖙𝖔𝖇𝖊𝖗 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 𝕬𝖓𝖓𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖈𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙 🌑

๑

Okay guyss its that time of year again- Im once again participating in Linktober this year!! 💛💛 However, this year is definitely going to be different for a couple reasons- the first being Im mixing it up and alternating between both the main calendar and the shadow calendar! Every odd numbered day will be a prompt from the main calendar, and every even numbered day will be a prompt from the shadow calendar 🖤 And, now, for some brutal honesty, Idk how much Ill be able to actually post on time this year because I quit my last job at the end of July and I just started a new job (that I love, btw) at the beginning of this month, so its been quite hectic and overwhelming to say the least 😅 With that being said, I have the first 10 days done so those will be posted all on time for sure!! Im going to be working on Linktober even if it takes me well into November, and Im especially inspired because of Echoes of Wisdom coming out and being absolutely addicted to it- so Im extremely motivated to finish it this year!!! 💪🏻💪🏻

[itscherryterry-again]

yea

[lemongogo]

hi

[thebibliosphere]

Am I reading this right? You have been beating yourself up for not 'working more' and not 'doing enough', but, the mere act of being AT YOUR DESK is extremely painful? Sitting at your work station, just SITTING THERE, caused you PHYSICAL PAIN, but you were still under the impression that you should be able to just 'power through that' to do, what? How much more are you expecting out of yourself? A book a month? Its not like you've STOPPED WORKING. What time table were you holding yourself to???

Here's the thing, my body has always hurt.

Even when I was a child, I was in a lot of pain that was dismissed as either "growing pains" despite the fact that I never got past 5 feet tall at the age of 11 or "attention seeking." So, I learned to stop talking about it. (The trick is now getting me to shut up about it.)

And for most of my teens and twenties, the pain didn't really stop me too much. It was bad, and it sucked, but for the longest time, everyone kept telling me that "everyone" felt that way, so I just sort of learned to power through and hide it under the assumption that "everyone" feels this way.

Well, turns out that was a mistake because my body hit its breaking point, and what might have been a mild genetic disability that could have flown under the radar is now a severe one that greatly impacts my daily life to the point where sitting at my desk causes me pain (because everything causes me pain).

Couple that with some new-age religious trauma about willpower, positive thinking, and whatever the fuck else my parents thought I was capable of as an 'indigo starseed' and the fact that I was trained to mask my ADHD by being a hyper-competent workaholic-- I really don't know what a healthy baseline is.

(I mean, heck, I wrote the first book of Hunger Pangs while literally dying. I assumed it would be edited and published posthumously. Jokes on me because now I've got to edit the rest of the fucking thing.)

I didn't, obviously, and ever since then, I've been trying to learn what a healthy baseline looks like for me post-recovery, and I think I'm doing quite well at it and enforcing my boundaries when people ask too much of me.

But none of that makes up for the shrieking frustration I feel that I can't do the things I want.

I want to be creative and do fun things, but I can't because my body won't let me. I want to write more, but I can't because I'm swimming in brain fog most of the time. Yes it hurts to sit at my desk, but I also need to earn money so the financial burden of everything isn't solely on my partner. (Something which he argues I shouldn't even be worrying about right now, but it's hard not to worry as I watch him work himself to the bone taking care of everything because I can't.)

I promise you, I'm not hustling my ass into an early grave. There is, in fact, zero hustle about how I work. I am very, very slow these days compared to how I used to be. There's no timetable for one thing. I get done what I get done, and that's it.

I'm just perpetually frustrated that my hyperactive brain is trapped in a malfunctioning meat suit. And my blog is where I talk about it and work through my emotions because, well, that's what I've always done long before Tumblr was even a thing. It just so happens now I've got an audience.

[sanakimohara]

This is my second ever ask in my 10 years of having Tumblr so please let me know if I’m saying this wrong or if this is rude 😅 but please could you do a felix or chan incredibly insanely darkly jealous a lot of breeding kink and rutting and c8ck dumb reader 😮‍💨😅😅 pretty please

“UNDER THE INFLUENCE” L. F.

Awe well I am honored to be your second ask here on tumble. I think I'll take Felix on this one...give him a bit more love in my post stream..

{ MDNI }

+++++++

Today was not supposed to end like this. You had no intention of being in a room alone with him -especially while you both were ‘working’- but here you are. Trembling and writhing as Felix had his fill of you.

It was a miracle that your makeup wasn’t smudged; thankfully, your hair wasn’t too messed up from its original wet and wavy look. No matter how many times Felix ran his fingers through it or if you pressed your head against the thin walls as shrouds of ecstasy hit you, it stayed modestly neat.

One less giveaway of what the two of you were getting up to in his dressing room.

“Felix…F-Felix th-that’s enough….Ahm!” You groan as quietly as possible, trying hard to not let anyone outside the room hear how amazing it feels to have your cunt devoured like there was no tomorrow. The blonde completely ignored your demand, swirling his tongue in quicker circles around your clit before delving into your dripping entrance.

He’d been at it for the past ten minutes at least, never letting you pull your hips away from his oddly rough grip, keeping your legs wide open as you sat on the -previously organized- makeup vanity. You felt terrible about doing such inappropriate things with a man you swore you’d never met all day.

All fucking day.

You’d refused to admit that Felix was your significant other to make the photo shoot between you and a male model less awkward. A small sacrifice you were both used to driving to keep your relationship concealed and stable, but for one reason or another, Felix felt a simmering rage when he heard you deny your ties to them.

He hated it so much that he’d been less approachable and friendly for the better part of the day.

The staff noticed Felix’s change, whispering about how on edge he was on and off camera-cordial to everyone like always- but noticeably annoyed. You’d seen it too, very concerned he wasn’t feeling well and convinced just checking on him during the staff hour-long lunch break wouldn’t do any harm to anyone.

Everyone except you.

Felix was not above taking his growing frustrations out on you. The instant you shut his dressing room door, he’d covered you, hands preemptively inching the bodice of your silk skirt to touch your bare skin underneath as he placed one fiery kiss on your lips after another. “Stop letting him touch what’s mine, angel,” he whispers into your parted lips, drinking in the immediate whimpers you let out in return.

“You can’t be serious, Lix. More than half of the shoot requires us to “

He rolled his eyes, smirking in disbelief at your attempt to reason with him, “Does it look like I fucking care. Either keep his hands off you, or I’ll ensure it myself.” The rare sight of anger adorned Felix’s gentle features, voice a rumbling whisper, and the combination propelled you into subspace within seconds. He was never this openly possessive. He’d pout or sulk if you didn’t give him attention occasionally, but this…

This was new.

It made you nervous under his gaze, rendering you speechless as he hugged you close, lips reconnecting to your own in another sequence of tender kisses as he walked you backward into the vanity. Your exposed back hit the mirror with a soft ‘thud’ and you flinched away from it. Felix brought you close to him, letting his warmth resolve your shivering and trailing his hands over the intricate details of your artistic bralette.

You pulled away, smiling proudly as Felix took a moment to admire your decorated breasts, eyes darkening with desire as you leaned back with a knowing smile on your face. “Like what you see, Liz?” You tease him, giggling softly as you turn your head to look at him through the reflection. He nods slowly, tongue poking one of his cheeks as he snakes an arm around your waist, closing the tiny gap between you two and effectively spreading your legs to frame his waist.

“You know I do, angel. Always will…” he mutters adoringly, placing a trail of heated kisses along your neck, shoulder, and finally, the curve of your breasts. He groaned in displeasure as he realized the material was intricately clasped, making it a hassle to remove and one less place on your body for him to play with.

Felix solves the dilemma quickly, licking a long stripe over each one before nipping at your skin until barely visible bruises are raised on your skin. Your face burned hot, lust seeping to panic as he marked what he knew to be his, and though it felt amazing, you knew he was inching you both towards exposure.

“Lix, please don’t…they’ll see those…mm,” you bit back a moan as he made another affliction, purposefully making it noticeable. You flinched against him, hands flying to claw into his shoulders, “That’s enough…” you moaned into his ear. The demand lost its edge as it slipped off your tongue, concern becoming a blur as Felix tangled a hand in your hair, pulling it so you had no choice but to let him stain your skin with as many love bites as he pleased.

Your brows knitted together as each one became more intense than the last, the arm around your waist holding you flush against him, adding to the mind-numbing pleasure he was inducing.

You tried one last time to reason with him, stuck in thralls of heat and logical thinking, “Felix…th-“

He cut you off immediately, devoid of any sympathy for your plight, and his authoritative tone made that abundantly clear.

“I don’t care,” he retorts, and you whine in response, “..But I do.”

Felix laughed dryly, inwardly amused by your signature pout but unsympathetic with your reasoning. “You shouldn’t,” he replies softly, bringing his hands to caress your face. You stared up at him lovingly, leering into his touch as he pecked your lips, the subtle hums of approval thundering in his chest, building the pool of heat in your core.

“I know, Lix….” You murmur into the kiss, feeling his hands drop to your thighs, giving them light-handed squeezes. You subconsciously roll your hips to get his touch closer to your dripping cunt. He smiles against your lips, chuckling at your eagerness and immediately giving in to you.

“Desperate little angel, aren’t we?” He teased you, discreetly slipping the many rings off his fingers as you nodded your head and let out a breathless “mhm” in response. Felix shifted your silky skirt to the side, draping the fabric off of your legs as he cupped your mound with one hand. He bit his plush bottom lip as your hips bucked into his hold. A sheer thong was the only thing keeping your soaked folds away from him, and he remedied the obstacle by pulling it to the side.

“Fuck…” you hiss as the cool air hits your exposed cunt, slick going ice cold as Felix prodded to skilled fingers past your entrance. “It’s a miracle you don’t have cum running down your leg, love. It must be so hard walking around this wet for me, yeah?” His voice carried so much weight, doubling down on your own pleasure as he fingered you at the slowest pace possible.

You were at a loss for words, thoughts, or any coherent reaction as he curled his fingers forward to hit your sweet spot. Felix wanted a verbal answer, not just the satisfying gratification your moans brought him, “Need to hear you, angel..or I’ll stop.” You shake your head in displeasure, blushing heavily as you rush a reply, words slurring into excited whimpers.

“Y-yes…s-Ahm….fuck Lix…y-yes you’re right….”

“Good girl…” he whispers, pumping his fingers faster and pressing your clit with the pad of his thumb. You yelp quietly, whining curses as a familiar tightening ramped up in your stomach, and you clenched around his fingers as a result.

Felix groaned vicariously, smirking wildly before withdrawing his hand. “N-no! Lix, please!” You nearly shout in agony at the loss of fullness, ready to cry as he drops to his knees, faking a frown as he comes face to face with your glittering core. “You’re being awfully loud for someone who doesn’t want to get caught, love.” His warm breath fans the slick entrance as he speaks, putting you in a daze that intensifies when he flicks his tongue against you.

“Don’t care anymore…jus’ wanna cum,” you mewl as he focuses on the task at hand, finding the rhythm to taste you with his tongue perfectly and urging you to cum in his mouth with every deliberate action.

His blonde hair tickled your thighs, low moans sending vibrations through you in waves and heightening the toll your climax took on you.

Felix refused to stop until your cunt was all he’d be able to savor for the rest of the day. You nearly fell forward on him in a state of elated exhaustion as he stood back up and kissed you deeply. Your eyes slid shut as the creaminess of your release and his spit seeped down your throat, a wanton moan spilling from you both as his tongue danced with yours, and your hands traveled up to grip his hair.

“Careful…” he grunts, the sound giving way to an altered whine. You pull the blonde strands harder, lips connecting to his jawline and making your own mark on his tan skin. He reaches for his belt, glad his outfit wasn’t nearly as complicated as your own, and a sigh of relief comes out as a sharp exhale through his nose the moment his cock springs free.

You smile against his skin, eyes trailing down to get a view of it, “You’re such a hypocrite,” you taunt him. Amused to see how affected Felix was by the mere thought of another man laying his hands on you.

He groans, muttering a semblance of disagreeable words before shoving you back with gentle force. The conjoined feeling of the cold mirror hitting your heated skin and the instantaneous contact of his throbbing shaft gliding up and down your glittery folds has your back arching as ripples of pleasure course through you.

Felix drops his head to the crook of your neck, a few strands of his hair ghosting your skin as he places featherlight kisses. “Lix..” you mumble lowly, unable to think straight as he breathes in your scent, his hands grazing down your spine as he does.

“Promise me he won’t touch you again,” he whispers in your ear, his hips pausing, the tip of his cock inching into you ever so slightly. You whined loudly, head lulling back as your brows furrowed in frustration, one hand slipping from his tousled hair to clasp around his throat. Every breath he took raised his Adam’s apple, your thumb gingerly baring down the muscle as you shook your head slowly.

“I can’t..please don’t make me,” you plead for a compromise, but Felix disregards the refusal, pushing into your cunt inch by inch, torturing the both of you with the long-awaited security your fluttering walls would impose on him. “Yes, yes you can…you will. Promise me, sweetheart. Open your pretty mouth and swear to me that you’re all mine..” Felix shifted between pleading and demanding, eyes flickering from your expression of pure ecstasy as he sunk all the way into you to the space where you two connected.

A train of thought no longer existed for you as he pulled out slowly, slamming back so harshly that the vanity quivered from the subtle force. Your mouth fell open, eyes rolling in earnest bewilderment the rougher Felix got. “Fucking answer me…,” he groans, burying his cock in you, and refusing to move until you stuttered out a response.

Work be dammed. Telling some random guy to keep his hands to himself for the next few hours paled in comparison to your need to cum….and was honestly a task you’d do whether Felix was coercing it out of you or not.

So, as much as you cared for professionalism…it’d have to take a backseat to whatever emotion he was dragging you into now.

“I. I promise it won’t happen again…I promise, Lix…” You didn’t care how pathetic you sounded, past the point of modesty and clinging to Felix for dear life as he picked up the pace of his thrusts. Your chest pressed into his, the intricate details on your bra chilling his burning skin and prompting him to hold you there with an arm snaking around your waist.

He fisted the sheer material of your skirt, almost ripping through it as he tugged it higher, nails digging into your skin possessively, and you winced in pain as he brought his lips to your ear again. “Hm, does it hurt, angel?” He asks, feigning concern, and the contrast of the sweet gesture amid brutality made your head spin endlessly. “Y-yes,” you huffed as a moan built in your throat, quickly slipping out as he shifted one of your legs up and around his lean waist. The adjusted angle drew a surprised cry from you, cunt gripping every ride and vein of his cock as he took advantage of the position. He was bruising your sweet spot with an intensity and speed you’d never experienced before.

Felix was generally endearingly romantic and rarely this aggressive with you. Seeing, well, witnessing this side of his character was an edge for you on its own.

You were surprised that you managed to hold out this long without cumming and even more taken aback by the steady stream of arousal pooling on the vanity beneath you. Felix noticed it too, cock twitching inside you as pride flooded his system, “You’re making such a mess, pretty girl… does it feel that good?” He grinned triumphantly when you nodded without hesitation, hips rolling to meet his thrusts at an even pace for as long as possible.

“Gorgeous, so…fucking gorgeous..” he praises your every reaction, running a hand down the expanse of your torso, stopping to press down where you could feel his cock the most. You blushed as the applied pressure emphasized exactly where Felix was inside you.

The coil in your core teetered on the verge of snapping, your hands disappearing underneath the hem of his designer dress shirt, and your manicured nails scratched into his toned torso. The simple action caused Felix to buck his hips and wrap his free hand in your hair as he brought you into an open-mouthed kiss. It was sloppy, void of any decency, as the both of you chased your high at the expense of the other.

You clawed at his skin, moaning louder as the knot in your stomach begged to loosen for the third time in a row. He stared into your dreamy gaze, reading the warning in them as he held your head close to his.

Felix wanted nothing more than to etch this very moment into your mind for the rest of the day -your life. The thought of you walking around, filled to the brim with his cum as you posed for one picture after the next plagued his conscious, and undid the last link of reason for him.

“Fuck this,” he snapped, brows furrowing with determination as he pulled out of you, and slid you off the vanity to bend you forward on it instead. Thankfully, you caught yourself in time, too dazed to stop him from kicking your legs apart, and reentering you from behind. “Felix…” you groan exasperatedly, shuddering as his cock stretched your cunt with ease, causing a thin drip arousal to slide down your inner thighs.

The blonde leaned over you, a hand resting on the curve of your back as he returned to his pace from earlier. Sweat starts to build on his tan skin, a concentrated expression adorning his angelic features as he pounded into you.

Blank.

Your mind was entirely blank the longer he bullied his cock against your sensitive womb and the tension mounting in your body multiples exponentially as he lowered himself to speak in your ear lowly.

“This is where you belong, angel. Just like this, with me, an no one else understand?”

You nodded weakly, fighting back tears as the urge to cum from the sound of his voice tempted you.

It’d only take one more possessive word from him -paired with that salacious smile on his face- to unravel you. Felix was at his end, too, eyes sliding close as the precision of his thirst became a tenuous blur.

“You think he’d use you this well, love?” He slurs the question, unintentionally pulling your hair as he snaps his hips harder. “No…”you sigh deliriously, reaching a hand to run through his hair and bring him in for a heated kiss, while the other latched against the mirror to hold you steady under his weight as the knot in your core spiraled loose.

“That’s it….angel, fuck, you feel so good…” Felix doesn’t even try to be discreet, zoned in on the way your cunt gushes on his cock, greedily taking the hot ropes of cum he releases. Oxygen alludes to you for a few seconds, an overbearing heat rushing through you and your body quivering in the aftershock.

You looked divine. Unreal even. That pleased smile on your lips as you giggled shamelessly only added to the glow you emitted in your shared highs.

“He won’t touch me again, Lix..” you panted softly, smiling more expansive as you clung to him tiredly and laid your head on his shoulder.

He understood then. Why he’d felt so stricken with jealousy over you the whole day. Yes, he loved you, but the underlying notion that no one else knew it angered him.

What good would it do him not to try and claim you, at least? If fucking you into the bliss of oblivion was what needed to be done���.he could make that sacrifice.

Felix kissed the top of your head, grinning as you whined defeatedly as he shifted his hips to settle his cock further into you, “See, that wasn’t so hard to agree to, now was it, love?”

You pout, raising your head to glare at him playfully, “No….but now the stylists will have to cover me in two layers of foundation!”

Felix raised a brow, gently rolling his hips into again, and you melted underneath him at the overstimulation. “Who said we were done, angel?” He asks, smiling at your fucked out reflection shifting to a look of desperation. You opened your mouth to say something but the words died in your throat, replaced by a broken moan as he gradually pumped his length past your tender walls, spreading his cum over them, and edging you both to another round.

This was not how your day was supposed to go, but there was no fight left in you, and certainly not enough left to refuse being stuffed full with Felix’s cum for the next thirty minutes.

Felix chuckled at the sight of you accepting your fate, subconsciously rocking your hips back to meet his, and welcoming the oncoming warmth of his accumulating releases.

Maybe making him jealous could be your new favorite hobby….

++++++++

This one was fun. I'm kind of proud of how it came out too....my editing is getting better hehe.

[ BONUS CONTENT + ]

Credits to owner 🖤 FYI if I met him and he made a joke I’d start laughing the same way zendaya was cracking up everytime Tom holland opened his mouth….i mean how else am I gonna convince Felix he’s my soulmate lmao 🖤

[chaichaiiskai]

Hello, can I request a Baki x male reader smut

Like baki was in class and they were doing a quiz and he didn't do it and never even wrote on his paper because he was staring at reader who sat in front of him, and reader is a really pretty boy and pretty thick and smol like bunny And baki kinda has a thing for him, so the teacher assigned pretty boy as bakis tutor and they go to bakis place, and baki admits his feelings and they do the dirty 👉👈

baki hanma! x pretty boy! male reader

note: i’ve never written for baki before but fuck yeah i accept this request!! (if you see repeated paragraphs, its a tumblr glitch and i cant delete them w/o fuckin’ up the actual post so im sorry in advance 😭)

warnings: amab reader, male reader, he/him pronouns, homophobes dni, anal, fingering, unprotected sex,

How can a guy be so pretty? It doesn’t make sense.

Not to Baki at least, and he’s a pretty smart guy when he wants to be, which reminds him of the empty quiz paper on his desk.

For just a split moment he looks down at the paper after tearing his eyes away from you, sitting in front of him, diligently completing your quiz like the good student you are. Baki thinks you’re cute. Fuckable, actually, but he wouldn’t mind getting to know you better…

Eventually, his mind begins to wander as he stares at you, daydreaming, and sometime after, the teacher comes by and snatches his unfinished quiz from the desk, observing it. Baki hadn’t even written his name on it, let alone fill out of any of the answers. And what’s worse, pretty much everyone had already left the classroom for break besides Baki, you, and the teacher.

With a frustrated sigh, the man rubs at his forehead with one hand as Baki turns his attention from you for the first time in an hour to stare lazily at the irritated man in front of him.

“What’s the problem, old man? You’re gonna get wrinkles if ya keep thinkin’ too hard.” Baki smugly teased, crossing his arms over his well-built chest that’s a little too built for a third year High Schooler, leaning back in his seat with the most carefree look present on his face.

The irritation on the instructor’s face only gets worse but then he sighs, shaking his head. “If it weren’t for you, the class average wouldn’t be so low. You need a tutor…” His eyes roamed around the room for a split second before they landed on you, currently tapping away at something on your phone, completely unbothered and not listening to the other men chat in the classroom. That was until your heard your name being called, causing you to look up in curiosity at your teacher who’s now standing in front of your desk, motioning to your fellow classmate who’s now shamelessly staring you down with a smirk on his face.

Somehow, you’d ended up accepting your teacher’s (pleading) request to tutor the laziest (and hottest) student in your class. Now, you were walking by his side, looking like a tiny little thing in comparison to his hulking form despite being the same age and you were pretty sure you were a couple months older than him.

As Baki suggested, you would be tutoring him at his place and so here you were, walking with him to his home. As you approached, you took note of the egregious amounts of graffiti on the walls as well as the outside of his house, which piqued your interest. This seemed to not go unnoticed by Baki whilst you began to approach his front door as he spoke up, explaining the meaning behind the vandalism.

“‘s lot of people out there that I’ve fought who’ve lost, or people who want to fight me but know they can’t win, so this is the next best thing, the only thing they can do to save face. I don’t really mind, ‘s not a big deal.” He said, shrugging his shoulders as he took out his key to slide open the door and led you inside, taking off his shoes near the front door to start walking further into his home. You nodded sheepishly at his explanation, frowning a little at the thought of people being such cowards to do such a thing instead of facing him head on.

As you followed him deeper into his home, you realized the place was a lot cleaner than you’d anticipated and before you knew it, you were in his bedroom.

Baki watched curiously as you sat down on the floor at the table beside his bed and started to slowly unpack things from your bag, setting them on top of the table. He could practically smell how nervous you were and it amused him greatly. He was also thinking about other things (like how soft and pliable you look) but he saved those thoughts for later.

Following your example, he sat down at the table right beside you, barely leaving any space between the two of you, your knees knocking together. Subconsciously, you shivered and set the last of your things down onto the table, not daring to meet his observant eyes as he stares at the side of your face, waiting for you to do something. In your peripheral you can see him with his elbow resting on the table now, his chin propped up in the palm of his hand, staring at you with amusement lingering in his gaze.

Your tongue darts out of your mouth and swipes at your lips in an attempt to wet them which doesn’t go unnoticed by Baki. In fact, he wonders what it would be like to kiss you, better yet, to get beneath your school uniform.

Before he can open his mouth to /insinuate/ these thoughts, you’re already speaking up.

“So.. I suppose we should work on homework first for class and… and you can ask me for any help i-if you need it..?” You suggested, though it sounded more like a question than a set plan of action.

Baki grinned lazily.

How cute.

He thought about it briefly but then hummed in acknowledgement, deciding to play along for now before he could put his own plans into action.

Surprisingly, to you at least, Baki had started working on his own homework beside you, what was even crazier was that he’d finished before you and now he was just staring again. Almost like he was waiting for you to finish up with your responsibilities before he’d swipe down and attack you. The thought made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, but it wasn’t exactly out of fear.

Some time passed, the room filled with strangely comfortable silence aside from the sounds of your pencil and your breathing. Noticing you finish off the last question, Baki set his plan in motion.

“L/N-san… anyone ever tell you how pretty you are?” Baki nonchalantly asked, watching as you skittishly flinched at the compliment, snapping your gaze towards to him to look at him in bewilderment, reminding him of a startled animal.

Unable to help himself, he reaches towards you and cradles your chin in his hand, swiping his thumb over your bottom lip in curiosity. His eyes are studying your face as he looks down at you, once again reminding you just how easily he could snap you in half even if he barely lifted a finger. However, the hold he had on your chin was gentle and caring, he was mesmerized by the feel of your lips over the rough skin on his calloused thumb, along with your skin.

Soft. Pillowy. Moisturized. You take care of yourself. He likes that. It is a strike contrast to his skin that’s been hardened by brutality and overzealous training that’s turned his entire body into borderline stone. You were just so soft, he wanted to see what other parts were the same.

And despite not getting a verbal and coherent answer from you regarding his previous question, he continues.

“Prettier than any girl I’ve seen. I’d call ya handsome but…” He watches as you blink in surprise, your cutesy lashes kissing your cheeks as you look back up at him, slightly pouting at the start of his backhanded compliment. “— don’t think that fits you. Y’know… ya kinda remind me of a little bunny. You’re skittish like one. And you’re tiny. Bet I could pick you up with one hand.”

His sultry voice and the teasing tone makes something stir inside of you, along with an unneeded erection in your pants. Were your pants always this tight? Sure, they always fit a little snug around your hips and thighs but— What was he trying to say? It would probably be in your best interest to ask him.

“A bunny…? Is that a compliment or.. or an insult?” You softly ask, awaiting for his answer, hanging onto every word that leaves his mouth. For some reason, your gaze has dropped from his eyes to the little beauty mark above his his top lip, and then down to his lips as they move, speaking sweet things to you.

“A compliment, of course. I wouldn’t insult the guy I like, after all.”

You paused, looking back at his eyes, your nose scrunching up along with your eyebrows as you decipher his words, the shock apparent in the look you’re giving him.

Baki smiles.

You really are a little bunny. Makes him want to protect you at all costs, even though he’s sure you can take care of yourself, which is something he also likes about you.

And then you parrot his words right back at him, mainly in disbelief as you feel the heat rise in your face and the rest of your body.

“You… you like me? Like— romantically or..?”

“Pfft. Yeah, romantically. I think you’re cute, smart, adorable, pretty… I wanna get to know you better, and I think I know how to get started.” His words make you curious, eyeing him in suspicion as you may or may not have an idea at what he’s hinting at. “Is that so? Alright, well, I’m open to whatever you have in mind..” You whisper, not rejecting his advances in the slightest without directly stating that you felt the same way about him.

Truthfully, you’ve had a tiny bit of a crush on the class’s sweetheart, but who didn’t? You weren’t even sure if he liked guys, especially not with the rumors of him having a girlfriend or two. But here he was, leaning in and smashing his lips against yours like he was trying to steal the oxygen straight from your lungs and give you the oxygen from his own.

You’d never been so passionately kissed before so it was easy to get lost in it, not even minding the way he effortlessly lifts you into his lap, your fingers tangling up in his cherry red hair, scratching at his scalp, causing him to moan at the unexpected affection.

As he’s holding you in his lap and your kiss turns into a flurry of open mouthed kisses, the sound of your soft pants being swallowed up by the larger man as he kisses you, his hands move down to squeeze at the plush of your ass, enjoying the feel of it in his hands. Rarely does he get to experience such softness beneath is fingers, he was going to cherish every second of this for as long as it went on.

With a little maneuvering from the both of you, you’re both soon rid of your school uniforms and were now in nothing but your boxers, bulging tents furiously rubbing against each other. Baki continued to fondle your ass while guiding your hips, rocking them back and forth so that were dry humping his cock with your own, his lips now connected to your neck. The sweet sounds you’re making spur him own as he litters your neck in love bites and marks that display that you’re his and only his.

The impatience between the two of you steadily grows but Baki takes the first step, standing up with you in his arms as he takes you to his bed and lays you down on top of it, moving to hover his bulky and muscular frame over your small but curvaceous one. In a moment of clarity, watching as he goes into the nightstand beside his bed to pull out a bottle of lube, you speak up.

“W-wait, what about your parents…?” You worriedly ask, not wanting to be caught in the middle of your risqué behavior by the adults in Baki’s home, to which he only chuckles and tugs your boxers down, exposing your bare lower body to his eyes. “I live alone. Don’t worry.” You squeak in surprise when you feel a rush of cold air brush over your cock, your shaft twitching as a bead of precum lands on your belly.

Baki grins at your reaction, finding you even more adorable as he tugs his own boxers down but not fully off, giving you a clear view of what he’s packing.

It’s big just like the rest of him. Should you really be all that surprised?

You gulped worriedly, instinctively backing up a little further up the bed away from him. “I— woah woah woah, I don’t think that’s gonna f-fit me.. Uh.. maybe I could just—“ “Ah ah ah. C’mon Y/N-sama,” he says, purring your first name in a way that instantly turns you into butter, “I’ll prep you first. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t?”

Wait, boyfriend? Did that mean you two were exclusive now?

You had no time to ponder the thought when you felt something thick and slippery in your hole, instantly making your back arch off of the bed, a mewl of surprise, pain, and pleasure erupting from your parted lips.

“Haah..!”

Looking down to see the culprit of this strange feeling, you see that Baki’s lubed up his right hand and had stuck one of his calloused fingers in your ass, stretching you out with the meaty digit. After giving you a little time to adjust to the intrusion, he starts to pump it in and out, purposely hitting your prostate each and every time while he watched you squirm and call his name, begging him to slow down and give you some more time to adjust.

Baki does the opposite, in fact, he doesn’t stop fucking you stupid with his fingers until he watches you spray cum all over your belly, decorating your skin in your own white sticky nectar. Then, he slowly pulls his fingers out, watching you pant and tremble on top of his bed, your eyes glossy with blissful tears. You then watch as he scoops up the cum from your belly and sucks it from the fingers he’d just finished fucking you with.

“Fuck, you’re so cute… Think you can flip over on your stomach for me or do you need some help?” He asks you, watching as you looked up at him, still trying to calm down from your first orgasm of the evening, as well as seeing him eat your cum. When he gets no response, he laughs lowly and decides for you, promptly grabbing onto your plush hips and flipping you onto your stomach, propping you up on your knees so he can get a full view of your ass.

Pumping his cock a few times, he bites down onto his lip and grabs up the forgotten bottle of lube that was dropped onto the bed a little earlier, he pops it open and squirts a generous amount onto his cock and on your hole.

Then, he leans over you, pressing the tip up against your puckering hole while pressing his hand onto the bed beside your body, caging you in as he leans over to whisper in your ear. “I’ll go slow, just relax for me, will you? I know you can, bunny. You’re my good boy after all.” He whispers, kissing between your shoulder blades. The gesture and his words make your cock harden again even after cumming and you shake a little in shock at just how easily your body responded to him.

And that’s when you felt it, the ridiculous stretch of his tip as he began to push himself into your lubed up and slightly stretched hole. Baki grits his teeth as you start to swallow him up, making him groan in delight and satisfaction, going in inch by inch until his balls are snug against your perineum. He doesn’t move once he’s fully inside you and you don’t either, crying out as he’s stuffed you full. You’ve never felt so full in your life. It burned. It tingled. It hurt. It felt amazing. There were too many sensations going on at once and it was overwhelming you to the point of becoming delirious but Baki’s calming voice reeled you back down to reality with ease.

“You alright? Doesn’t hurt too much does it?”

You have half a mind to shake your mind but you know that any little movement would make the rest of your body move so you verbally responded instead, though your lips remained shut, a hum would suffice.

“Mm… mm.”

Baki chuckled and you lurched forward at the movement, making you gasp and suddenly scratch at his bed sheets, pulling at them as you buried your face into his pillow, smothering your face in the lingering scent of the shampoo he used. Sighing, he leaned back and rested his hands onto your hips, still not moving as he observes your body in this position. Your body was just as pretty as your face, he had his suspicions but this was exceeding beyond his expectations. He wanted to move, fuck you through the mattress and maybe even break the bed frame but he refrained, wanting to give you time to adjust. He knew that once he started he probably wouldn’t be able to stop or let up any of his movements so this was a the best course of options for the both of you.

However even he had his limits. As content as he was with you cockwarming him with your sweet ass, he wanted to start moving, and so did you.

Pulling about halfway out, he slammed back in, watching as your body bounced, especially your ass, and licked his lips, hearing the muffled scream come from you at his sudden movement. Then he waited a couple seconds to see if you’d protest but when you didn’t, he pulled back and thrusted again, watching in fascination as your ass rippled in waves with the impact from his hips. This earned yet another broken moan of pleasure from you, and so, he continued, rocking his hips at a slow pace, listening to your quiet cries of pleasure as he continued to grip on your hips.

The slow pace gradually increased in speed, and before you knew it, he was fucking you hard into his bed and you were pretty sure that if he wasn’t holding onto you he would have sent you right through the wall and out onto the street in front of his house.

Your little mewls and moans were music to his ears, mixing with his own groans and moans as he continued his rapid movements, his heavy balls slapping against your ass, the tip pushing against your prostate each and every time. The rigorous movement made your own cock bounce around without any restraint and you were sure you’d ended up dirtying up his sheets soon if he kept up like this.

What you weren’t expecting was him to suddenly pull back and slap your ass with his hand, making you cry out in shock, turning your head to the side so you could breath and then look back at him over your shoulder.

Looking back at you through his half-lidded gaze, he grinned at you and picked up his pace, just to watch your eyes flutter from the pleasure, your head lolling to the side as you were overcome with ecstasy and pain.

“Haah… sure this is your first time, bunny? You’re gobblin’ me right up with this fat jiggly ass of yours. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think your body was made for my cock and my cock only.” He teased, smacking your other ass cheek to leave them raw with two matching handprints.

Good luck going home after this, he’s not letting you leave, plus, its not like you’d be able to walk properly afterwards anyways. Luckily, you’ve got a loving new boyfriend to take care of you.

[darligvane]

Gage headcanons

I have these all written down in a google doc (plus way more) so I figured I might as well throw some here now that I'm getting more comfortable using tumblr lol. I'm very open to discussion about these! I might post more in the future if someone finds it interesting.

CW for: Minor mentions of addiction and some general trauma stuff. Nothing too bad I don't think but don't hold me to that.

A lot of these mention The Harvester by the way, sorry. Lore makes my brain itch.

● While he is a part of a minority of raiders who can actually read and write‐ (as evidenced by him leaving messages to Colter on his terminal) -he is dyslexic. It takes him a while to write things out coherently, and reading anything more than a few short sentences is often frustrating.

● ^ because of this, he prefers / genuinely enjoys comic books. They're light on reading and he can usually tell whats going on even without dialogue. He had a small collection of comic books back when he lived with The Harvester, and still gets kind of pissed he never got those back.

• Regarding comics, his least favorite character is the Silver Shroud. He just pisses him off.

● His eyepatch being so large is actually functional! (Somewhat) I like to think he lost his eye by getting shot in the face with a plasma round, which corroded and destroyed a large area of skin around his eye and down his cheek. So the large metal plating on his eyepatch covers the large scar.

● He actually lost his eye when he first joined The Harvesters gang when he was younger. One of Harvests gang members pulled the trigger on him when he initially approached them, thinking he had ill intentions. It sucked- but hey, at least they let him in.

● He made his own cage armor and designed it particularly around his needs rather than protection. He uses the cage to hold tools, parts, a rag, etc. while he works on things like Colters power armor or other mechanical things he fiddled with. Definitely doesn't make him very bulletproof, but following the boss around keeps him away from most combat situations anyway.

● Colter had a tendency to use Gages armor like a big handle to drag him around a lot, which he didn't particularly enjoy.

● His favorite colour is yellow, which is why his cage armor is the colour it is. He painted it himself :')

● Has the most horrific trust issues in all of mankind. (Thanks for betraying him Harvest, he will absolutely not recover from that.) He won't eat anything he doesn't see prepared himself, won't set down his drink unless he's alone, he can't sleep around other people, etc. When Colter dies and the new Overboss takes over, he doesn't even tell them where he sleeps until he trusts them entirely. He'll just dissappear at night unless you call out for him.

● These trust issues leak into his behaviors during relationships also. Down to the more simple things. He prefers to hug his partner from behind or be big spoon, he prepares food for them both, takes the night guard when camping, etc. Anything that puts him in the more advantageous position, even if its subconscious.

● The Harvester haunts him. He still sees and hears him in the shadows or corners after however many years its been. Has nightmares of him coming back and finally finishing the job, killing him. Feels the cold metal of a scythe against his throat when it isn't there... its endless. Even something as common as the sounds of distant gunfire make him paranoid, since it reminds him of the betrayal. Absolutely ruined him.

● Has tattoos inspired by / centered around The Harvesters. Covers them with his armor though. Hes got some trauma to unpack man, idk. (Should I do a tattoo tour for him?)

● One of the reasons he hates chems is from a previous addiction. He doesn't like to talk about it, but he made a few of his worst life decisions on chems and it just put a bad taste in his mouth. He'd prefer it if his Overboss / partner was in a rational state of mind, thank you.

● He is surprisingly good with animals for the most part. Particularly cats. Does the old man / dad thing where he says he doesn't like them or calls them mean names while secretly petting them or letting them hop in his lap when he's alone.

● Not usually a big fan of the more "exotic" wasteland animals though. Totally got jumpy one day and shot a Pack molerat on accident.

Thats probably enough for now. I'm happy to answer questions or expand on these more if asked, and I'll probably share more in the future. (Maybe some 18+ ones too? We'll see.)

[wannabegwenstacy]

Eden's Favorite Yunho Tumblr Fics

updated: 08/07/2023

Main A/N: check out the full ateez fic recs masterlist for some of the other members. warning i'm a baby atiny so its not super full yet and i currently have only some members posts created currently. will be updating with more fic recs periodically. :)

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dance for you (series) by @santheestallion

Genre: yunho x fem reader, dancer!au, rivals to lovers, smut, angst

Word count: 25k + 15k + 22.2k

Warnings: cheating (not yunho), slow burn, curse words, drug (weed) and alcohol usage, thigh riding, explicit sex scenes, hate sex, oral (male and female receiving), semi public sex, name calling, yeah i think that’s about it, brief mention of blood.

Summary: moving to a new city and auditioning for one of the most competitive dance troupes isn't easy, but when you meet the charismatic and talented dancer jeong yunho, your world gets a lot more interesting. (full summary can be found here)

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until the moon and stars fall by @cyberpxnk

Pairing: yunho x chubby!reader

Genre: nonidol! au, comfort/hurt, fluff, established relationship

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings/Tags: chubby!reader, no gendered terms for reader, a lil self indulgent, cussing, body/fat shaming, mentions of body image, bullying, minor kissing, maybe a lil cliche but bear w/ me

Summary: your bad day at work takes a turn for the worse but despite it all, jeong yunho never fails to be there for you.

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Panini by @smileysuh

Pairing: Mingi & Yunhoe x afab!Reader

Rating: 18+ explicit 

AUs/Tags: covid au, best friends to lovers, frat/uni au, etc.

Word count: 11.8k

Warnings: Covid, depressed/anxious Mingi, size kink, choking, sir kink, bdsm protocols, dumbification, sensory deprivation (hand over eyes), oral, dry humping, nipple kink/boob sucking, switch Mingi, hard/semi soft Dom Yunho, Dirty talk, some degradation in a good way, unprotected sex, Yunho has a sir kink, threesome, etc…

Summary: With covid stretching on for what feels like forever, and Mingi’s mood in rapid decline, you move into the two-bedroom apartment with your two best friends, where seemingly constant tinder notifications on everyone’s phones remind you constantly of how horribly single you all are

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summer nights by @honeyhotteoks

Pairings: yunho x reader

Genre: college non idol au; suggestive, smut, fluff, comedy

Word count: 8.5K

Note: 18+ content, minors DNI. // this fic is just pure self indulgence, but i'm kind of liking the cheeky college au yunho vibes, you can blame the new wonderwall photos

Warnings: best friend!yunho, fem!reader, quarantine and talk of early covid times, sexual frustration, big dick!yunho, oral (m receiving), fingering, semi rough sex, use of toys, light overstimulation, basically reader is pent up and struggling to get off and hot bestie yunho helps out. please let me know if I missed any.

Summary: he's your best friend and roommate, but during the heat of summer and the confinement of quarantine, you just can't seem to help yourselves.

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12 - j.yunho + lovemaking/against a wall (18+) by @hongism

Pairing: j.yunho x fem!reader

Rating: 18+ dni if minor

Tags: language, explicit smut, unprotected sex, impregnation kink, soft sex <3, praise, possessive undertones, slight size kink, slight manhandling, teasing, yn calls yunho a bitch but it’s in a cute way <3

Word count: 2.1k

[mrs-snape5984]

“I'll meet you on a day that never ends. I'll greet you in a way that heaven meant…”

“I hope you don't break my heart of stone. I don't wanna scream out loud and wake up on my own…” (“Idler’s Dream” by Oasis)

Considering, that I don’t see any way out of the misery, which my life has become since this cruel and inexorable disease ME/CFS has robbed me from being myself, I’ve started to commission some of my beloved artists of Snapedom with a special project of mine. I explained to them, that I’m slowly fading away from my life as well as from other people’s lives. It started two years ago, when this sickness got me into her relentless grip, forcing me to let go of the life, I’ve known before. Losing more and more of my abilities and strengths with each passing day, I’m finding myself in an unstoppable spiral of torments.

Nowadays, I’m not capable of leaving my room and most of the times even my bed anymore. Day in, day out I’m surrounded by darkness, silence and solitude. Participating in social activities, in milestones of my children or even in longer conversations with friends isn’t possible for me anymore. My presence has lost its meaning and purpose.

Whereas my phone didn’t stand still in the beginning of my disease, when friends and colleagues were worried about me…it’s getting more silent now. People are starting to forget about me…and yes, I can absolutely understand them. It must be frustrating to send messages or attempt to call me without getting a proper reply. My former boss told me some weeks ago, that people are feeling speechless about my situation, so it’s easier for them to forget about me…letting me become a faint memory in the back of their heads. This is exactly, what I meant, when I said, that I’m fading away…and it’s okay. I can’t be mad about it. I understand.

It’s also happening here on tumblr…and yet, here are still some kind people, who seem to notice my silence. I was astonished to hear, that my friend @capysnapeart, whom I commissioned for this beautiful artwork of Severus and my highly self-inserted OC Jules, searched me in a sweet post on their blog, after not hearing from me for several days. I was even more dumbfounded, when I realised, that other lovely people of Snapedom had also noticed my absence from my online life. This was very unexpected, but - indeed - touching and heartwarming to me. Thank you for not forgetting about me.

The project, which I’ve commissioned @capysnapeart and some other artists for, should show the different stages of the life, I’m expecting to have after my final breath, which doesn’t seem to be so far away anymore. I’ve set myself a limit…a certain point of no return, at which I won’t be able to accept and endure my pain and my suffering anymore. Well…let’s just leave it like that.

In my imagination, I will be able to choose, how my afterlife will look like. I will be with Severus, the character, I’ve been clinging on for the past 21 years, already. I imagine, that we will meet at the age of 11 years and from then on, we will spend the rest of our lives together...growing old together. It may sound strange and pathetic, but this is all, that I'm wishing for. I want to come home to him...

I asked Capy to draw Severus and Jules as a middle-aged couple…sitting on a bench in front of their little cottage at the sea. I’d love to see them being happy together…finally living the life, they’ve always wanted to live…the life, they’ve deserved to have! They’re cuddling on this wooden bench…feeling like home in themselves.

Capy, my dear friend, I’m beyond grateful for your understanding of my wish for this mesmerising artwork. You’ve managed to capture the peace and the silence of this scenery so perfectly, that it made me shed countless tears of longing. A longing for this fantasy to become true one day, when I will let go of my existence, eventually. Thank you for your talent, your kindness and your acceptance of my ideas. Feel hugged! 🫂🥹

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤

[onemustalwaysbecarefulofbooks]

Why I Dislike Rhysand, Part 1: Not a Martyr Like You Think

So. . this rant has been a long time coming. I finally came to the conclusion that it would be too much to include all in one post. There are so many different things I feel the need to touch on and include that I decided I’m going to be breaking it up. Enjoy Part 1. 

I also feel the need to start off by saying that I’ve been an SJM reader for nearly ten years now. I remember when ACOTAR first came out. I remember reading ACOMAF upon its release and nearly being blown over by my intense disgust and dislike for how a story was handled. ACOMAF was released in 2016, so I’ve been holding on to a lot of this for the better part of seven years. I don’t know how many of you were a part of the ACOTAR or SJM community here on Tumblr back in those days but let me tell you. . .it was something else. The fevered Rhysand obsession and worship was WILD. The fans were CUT THROAT and had no mercy. If you even HINTED at the fact that you felt like Rhys was not All That, they came for you and they came hard. I have never been one to engage in ridiculous arguments with strangers on the internet so I kept most of my feelings to myself. It’s giving me immense satisfaction and validation to see so many people begin to express things that are so like minded with how I feel. Keep fighting the good fight!

SO! We’re going to dive deep with this and go back to before the series chronologically even started. 

A huge part of why I so strongly dislike Rhysand is that I find it very hard to sympathize with him regarding his time UTM. 

Yes, you read that correctly.

Now, I realize that that sentence alone is enough to cause a lot of people to click away from this in disgust immediately. I challenge those people to keep reading and to hear me out. I try and make it a point to back everything I have to say with canon facts and logical sense. One of the fatal (or perhaps not so fatal) flaws I have as a reader is that 99% of the time, I am not able to just let things go and absorb them at face value for the sake of an entertaining story. You can sell me just about anything and I’ll be able to find some enjoyment in it. . .if it makes sense. If something exists in a scenario that is contradictory or just plain illogical, I tend to fixate on it and not be able to let it go (I call this the Ravenclaw in me). Sometimes I almost resent that I’m like this because I feel like it prevents me from just having a good time with literature, but for better or worse, this is the kind of reader I am. 

Unfortunately, the ACOTAR series, specifically many things that have to do with Rhys and the Inner Circle, are riddled with things like this. Now, it’s no secret to any SJM reader that Sarah J Maas is OBSESSED with Rhys and the Inner Circle. Like. . .OBSESSED. I’ve truly never seen anything like it from an author. She so plainly and clearly holds these characters on pedestals and believes them to be the best of the best. She also so plainly and clearly works very hard to try and get the readers to feel the same way. This is why I say that SJM is one of the most confusing and frustrating authors I’ve ever read about. She clearly feels this way and wants US to feel this way. So you’d think, if that was her end goal, that she would simply just write characters who really ARE the best of the best and deserve to be on pedestals. Easy, right? She has total control over the actions, thoughts, and words of these characters, every other character, the plot, the narrative, the direction of the entire story. So just. . .write them as being perfect saintly beings, as you so clearly view them as?? You have the power to do this?

But here’s where the confusing and frustrating part comes in: She doesn’t.

Instead of giving us these characters who truly ARE as virtuous and amazing and wonderful as she thinks they are, she instead gives us characters who do horrific, selfish, and highly questionable things across the span of the series and then gaslights her readers by continuing to hold these characters on pedestals and laud them as being The Best In Every Way. . .while their atrocious deeds are sitting RIGHT THERE on the page being completely ignored in every way. It’s one of the most unaware and bizarre things I’ve ever witnessed from an author and honestly, from a group of readers. The amount of people who just blindly accept anything SJM says as Gospel is wild to me. I really don’t understand how people just swallow this stuff and can’t see it for what it is. Open your mind to just an ounce of critical thinking and I really do believe you’ll begin to see things in a new way. 

So. . .my point in all that being: SJM clearly wanted us to have a ton of sympathy for Rhys from his ordeal with Amarantha and his time UTM. The scene is set perfectly! Valiant and selfless Rhysand volunteers himself to play Amarantha’s whore in order to keep her attention from the city and the people Rhys loves so much. He lives for 50 years having to “service” a psychotic evil woman who actively tries to bring destruction to his entire country. Horrible, right??? Unthinkable. What he went through!!! What he had to do!!! No one has a selfless heart like he does!!!!

The only problem is. . .this entire scenario has a million holes in it. Let’s explore some of them. 

So, when Amarantha returns to Prythian, Rhys heads to her little party without any backup from the IC. He plans to kill Amarantha himself but of course, she tricks all the High Lords and captures their power before this can happen. 

Sidenote: This is another thing I can’t stand about Rhysand’s power: We are told over and over and over that he is THE MOST powerful High Lord not just of the seven current High Lords, but in all of Prythian’s HISTORY. In the High Lord’s meeting during ACOWAR (top contender for my least favorite scene of the entire series), Feyre says: 

The others, who had been watching with disdain and amusement and boredom, now turned to my mate. Now possessed a shadow of fear in their eyes as they realized who and what, exactly, sat amongst them. 

Brethren, and yet not. Tamlin was a High Lord, as powerful as any of them.

Except for the ones at my side. Rhys was as different from them as humans were to Fae. 

Okay, first of all:

Second of all. . .once again, we are faced with SJM’s convenient Whatever-I-Need-To-Happen-Will-Happen story telling. She claims that Rhys is as different from all the other High Lords as humans are to fae. And despite this, he still gets tricked and overtaken by Amarantha, the exact same as all the rest of them. His powers were ripped away by that spell just the same as all the others. Being the so-called “Most Powerful High Lord in Prythian’s History” didn’t mean anything in that situation. He’s the mOSt POwerfUL HiGH LOrd iN HiSTORy, but was able to be totally overtaken by Amarantha just like everyone else. Looks like that title really should have gone to HER!

Anyway. . .as Rhys feels his powers being ripped away, we are told that in desperation, he “threw the shield around Velaris”, binding it to my friends so that they had to remain or risk that protection collapsing and used the last dregs to tell them mind to mind what was happening and to stay away”. 

What a noble sacrifice right??

INCONSISTENCY ALERT: There were ALREADY spells and protections hiding Velaris and there had been for years!!!!!! 

The first time I read Rhys’s explanation of this, I was super confused. SJM tells it like he was the one who created Velaris’s shield and protection right there in this moment. That this act was the only thing that kept it hidden and safe from Amarantha. But like. . .this is not the case!!!! 

Don’t believe me??

“Did you even think for one moment,” I said, my voice like gravel, “to extend that luck to anywhere else? Anyone else?”

“Other cities,” he said calmly, “are known to the world. Velaris has remained secret beyond the borders of these lands for millenia. Amarantha did not touch it because she did not know it existed. None of her beasts did. No one in the other courts knows of its existence, either.”

“How?”

“Spells and wards and my ruthless, ruthless ancestors, who were willing to do anything to preserve a piece of goodness in our wretched world.”

(ACOMAF, page 144)

The Velaris Wiki page states:

To preserve it, an ancient High Lord kept Velaris a secret, and so did his descendants. There are many spells on the city itself—laid by him, and his heirs, that make those who trade here unable to say anything about the city and possess the skill to convincingly lie in order to keep the origin of their goods and ships, hidden from the rest of the world. Rumor has it that an ancient High Lord doused his blood upon the stones and river to keep that spell eternal. 

And then in ACOMAF, we get:

“I used the remainder of my power to shield them all from sight and sound. I had only enough for one city--one place. I chose the one that had been hidden from history already. I chose, and now must live with the consequences of knowing there were more left outside who suffered. But for those here. . .anyone flying or traveling near Velaris would see nothing but barren rock, and if they tried to walk through it, they’d find themselves suddenly deciding otherwise. And because my powers were focused on shielding them all, Feyre, I had very little to use against Amarantha.”

So, which is it?? Did your ancestors shield and protect Velaris or did you?? 

Do you see the contradictory writing here? 

Again, in ACOMAF:

“You are safe here, and safe anywhere in this city, for that matter. Velaris’s walls are well protected and have not been breached in 5,000 years.”

According to what Sarah J Maas herself has written, the city of Velaris already had extensive wards and protection on it for millennia. The city had been a safe haven from the rest of the world and a complete secret for 5,000 years. So I was very confused as to why it was being made out to be that Rhys made this Grand Ultimate Sacrifice to shield the city and its inhabitants from Amarantha, when this was already the case before this. She wouldn't have touched it because she didn’t know about it. . .words from Rhys’s own mouth!!!! 

I’m sure in Sarah’s mind, she just needed to make a way for the IC to not come after Rhys and try and help him, so this is what she came up with. Regardless. . .Velaris already had protection on it that did not rely on Cassian, Azriel, Mor, and Amren. You’re saying that with the last shreds of his power, Rhysand undid centuries old ancient blood protection of his ancestors, created an entirely NEW foolproof protection plan, and bound it to the Inner Circle?? 

I’d also like to point out that Kallias, High Lord of Winter, did essentially the same thing with Viviane and the Winter Court. 

And in those last moments, when his power was ripped from him by that spell. . .Kallias had flung out the remnants to warn her. To tell Viviane he loved her. And then he begged her to protect their people.

So she had. 

As Mor and my friends had protected Velaris, Viviane had veiled and guarded the small city under her watch, offering safe harbor to those who made it. 

(ACOWAR, pages 410-411)

These situations are exact parallels of each other. Kallias and Rhysand couldn’t protect their entire courts, but they were able to throw shields and protections around the one city where their loved ones were. The Winter Court was ravaged by Amarantha’s troops, we know this from the story. But evidently, this one city where Viviane was remained protected. And in this situation, I have infinitely more respect for Kallias than I do for Rhysand.

Rhysand claimed he became Amarantha’s whore in order to keep enemies from looking too closely at who he really was and who he loved. He serviced her in bed and committed atrocious deeds in her name for 50 years. All this, he claimed, to protect Velaris and his loved ones. 

So please explain to me how Kallias was able to do the same thing. . .WITHOUT doing Amarantha’s dirty work. 

As I said, I know fully well that the Winter Court in general was not spared by Amarantha. We all read about the children who had their minds wiped (conveniently by some OTHER daemati who we never learn about or hear about ever again). It sounds like Amarantha tried her hardest to destroy the Court in general. But remember. . .the Night Court is not exclusively Velaris. If you look at the map of Prythian, the Night Court is huge! It’s the largest of all the Courts. We have no idea what happened to the rest of the Night Court that was outside of Velaris’s protection. Since it’s such a big deal that Velaris is such a whole, untouched city, I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that it probably wasn’t spared any more than the rest of Prythian was. So it stands to reason that both the Night Court and the Winter Court had one city that remained protected while the rest of their Court was destroyed.

Even further than that. . .it is specifically stated that Viviane offered shelter and protection to anyone who made it to that protected city where she was. Kallias begged her to protect their people and she did. It was a city of safe haven for any refugees who could make it there. (Viviane was Prythian’s first High Lady and that’s the tea). 

Rhysand KNEW what was happening all throughout Prythian during this time. . .he helped partake in it!!! Did he think to offer the same protection for innocent refugees in Velaris during this time??

We all know the answer.

I’m not saying that Rhys was obligated to do this. In a horrible situation like that, I’m sure many people would enter survival mode and adapt an “every man for himself” mindset. It’s an extremely Slytherin move to make, and I don’t really mean that in a bad way. But at the end of the day, Rhysand prioritized his friend group over every innocent citizen of Prythian. 

Kallias and Viviane didn’t do that. 

Again, I don’t entirely blame Rhysand for this!! I think a lot of people would have made the same decision!! But just. . .don’t ask me to act like Rhys’s decision was some grand ultimate sacrifice that was more than any other High Lord made. It’s not. SJM, if you want Rhys to be my fave, why are you putting characters in here like K and V who do the more noble and honorable thing?? 

Kallias didn’t have mind powers where he was able to erase the knowledge of Viviane from every one UTM who knew about her as Rhys did with the Inner Circle. There weren’t already extensive, centuries-old shields and protection guarding the city that she was in. And despite this, he STILL asked her to protect their people, and she kept the city open for refugees who could make it there. AND he remained true to his cause and didn’t do Amarantha’s dirty work for her to “keep people from looking too closely”. 

And yet Feyre and everyone else tell us constantly that “no one sacrificed as much” as Rhys. Yeah, no. My respect for Kallias and Viviane is 10000000x greater than Rhysand. Sorry, not sorry. 

And this leads me to my next point. 

One of the biggest issues I have with Rhys’s time UTM in general, is that his actions are treated by the narrative and the other characters as the MOST sacrificial out of all the High Lords. 

As I’ve expressed above, I do not buy this for one second. And I actually find it pretty insulting on behalf of all the other High Lords!!

Rhysand’s choices and actions were entirely self-serving. He did nothing to fight against Amarantha or protect citizens of Prythian in general. It was entirely about his city and his friends. Again, I’m not saying I condemn him for this! It was a horrible situation and this was what he chose to do. People do crazy things for the people they love. But that’s my point. . .it was a CHOICE. He CHOSE to “service” Amarantha. He CHOSE to do her dirty work and commit atrocious deeds in her name. And every choice he made protected no one but the people who were important to HIM. So I’m just not really sure how/why I’m expected to feel the greatest amount of sympathy for HIM, over the other High Lords, many of whom stayed in open rebellion and never aided Amarantha. How easy would it have been for any of the other High Lords to attempt the same thing he did, and pretend to sympathize with Amarantha? Maybe not “servicing” her as Rhys did, but pretending to deflect to her side, doing dirty work for her, in order to attempt to spare their Courts and THEIR loved ones??? Did anyone else do this??? NO.

Rhys says he bows for no one but that isn’t true. He bowed for Amarantha. The other High Lords did not. 

The High Lords of Summer, Day, and Winter lost their lives by refusing to submit to Amarantha. (ACOTAR, page 284). 

And I’m supposed to have the greatest amount of sympathy for Rhysand??

People talk about how horrible it was for Rhys during those 50 years Under the Mountain. I’m not here to say his life was pleasant. But what I AM here to say is that in comparison to what the other High Lords’ lives were like. . .I find it hard to have MORE sympathy for him than the others. 

“If that was what she wanted, then that was what she would get. I made her beg, and scream, and used my lingering powers to make it so good for her that she wanted more. Craved more.”

“For fifty years--whenever I was inside her, I’d think about killing her. She had no idea. None. Because I was so good at my job that she thought I enjoyed it too. So she began to trust me--more than the others. Especially when I proved what I could do to her enemies.”

Rhys is “so good at his job” of killing Amarantha’s enemies (and one assumes that Amarantha’s enemies are, you know, PEOPLE FIGHTING FOR PRYTHIAN AND AGAINST HER OPPRESSION) and so thorough in their sexual acts, that Amarantha begins to trust him. He is allowed certain freedoms that no one else has. He is not trapped for 50 straight years Under the Mountain. In ACOTAR alone, we see him visit the Spring Court three different times. Do you think any of those other High Lords saw daylight even once during those 50 years?? 

He is clearly allowed to move about as he wants to Under the Mountain. He visits Feyre in her cell several times, seemingly without Amarantha knowing. She is a prisoner of Amarantha, but he’s allowed to do whatever he wants to and with her. 

Essentially. . .Rhys lived as a member of Amarantha’s court UTM. He served as her fuck buddy and one of her main attack dogs. To our knowledge he wasn’t tortured, starved, or forced to watch, powerless, as someone or something he loved was dangled over him. High Lords were losing their lives living in open rebellion against Amarantha, while Rhys lived with a level of security that no one else had. I am NOT saying that servicing Amarantha was pleasant for him, obviously it wasn’t. But at the end of the day. . .this was a choice he made. Everyone makes choices and has consequences of those choices. Rhys chose to serve Amarantha in bed and was given a position of power and security that no one else had. The other High Lords chose to openly oppose and resist her and subsequently had to suffer and live in terror with none of the freedom or choices Rhys was given. I honestly fail to see how Rhys’s decision was more valiant than all the rest. 

Again, this is NOT me trying to say that Rhys did not suffer at all UTM. I completely acknowledge that he suffered his own type of torment. I just get very sick and tired of him being treated as if he is the Greatest, Most Suffering, and Only Martyr in all of Prythian. 

I often say that Sarah writes all of these characters and this entire story in a way that elevates and favors Rhysand, even if in doing so she has people saying and doing things that make absolutely no logical sense. Everything that happens after UTM is a prime example of this. 

The fact that the other Courts and High Lords are so quick to trust Rhysand and work so closely with him after the events of UTM is downright ridiculous and makes absolutely no sense. All of them have EVERY reason to be extremely mistrustful, if not openly hostile to him, after what they witnessed for 50 years. I myself do not understand most of his actions during ACOTAR. Let’s dive into all of THAT.

I made a post separately on this, but I’ll still comment on it here. Rhys claims that he “thought” about killing Amarantha the entire time he worked for her. However, he claims:

“I couldn’t use my powers to harm her, and she had shielded herself against physical attacks”.

There’s nothing I hate more than contrived convenient story-telling. To me, this is on the same level as Feyre not being able to have a C-section in ACOSF. We need it to be true, so we’re just going to say it’s true. . .no matter how little sense it makes in this context. 

Rhys says that he, the most powerful High Lord ever born, had his power ripped away by Amarantha. On page 520 of ACOMAF he says, “Within a few seconds, my power belonged wholly to Amarantha”. 

But does it??? Let’s take a look at all the things Rhys is able to do with his power during his time under Amarantha, without her knowledge or consent:

Uses it to enhance the sexual experience between him and Amarantha, making her beg and scream, and crave him (ACOMAF, page 520)

Broke into the minds of the three fae who cornered Feyre on Calanmai, reshaped their lives, their histories, and then made them confess to Amarantha that they were rebels (ACOMAF, page 523)

“Against my violation, my body straightened, every muscle going taut, my bones straining. Magic, but deeper than that. Power that seized everything inside me and took control: even my blood flowed where he willed it.” (ACOTAR, page 239)

“I couldn’t move. An invisible, talon-tipped hand scraped against my mind. And I knew--one push, one swipe of those mental claws, and who I was would cease to exist.” (ACOTAR, page 239)

Broke into Clare Beddor’s mind when she was captured and took away her pain, told her to scream when she was expected to, then finally slipped into her mind and ended her life (ACOMAF, page 524)

Visits Feyre in her cell UTM and heals her shattered arm completely (where was this power to save her from a C-Section???)

Mentally controls and commands the guards to stay out of Feyre’s cell and not touch her. “If you do, you’re to take your own daggers and gut yourselves. Understood?” Dazed, numb nods, then they blinked and straightened. I hid my trembling. Glamour, mind control--whatever it was he had done, it worked. They beckoned--but didn’t dare touch me. (ACOTAR, page 344)

Enters Feyre’s mind to influence and help her during her second task

Convenient storytelling at its finest. He may not have total control over the full extent of his power, but it is abundantly clear that he definitely has control of some of it! And yet we’re told that Rhys is completely unable to do anything to harm or kill Amarantha, because she holds all his power!! It belonged “wholly to her” as he said! But he’s able to do all of this stuff without her knowledge???

Forget killing her with his power!!! Lysandra killed Arobynn Hamel by slitting his throat in the middle of the night! I’m sorry, I do not find it believable that the Most Powerful High Lord in Prythian’s HISTORY was completely unable to find a way to end this bitch’s life in 50 years, ESPECIALLY when it’s explicitly stated that she allows him certain freedoms and he does things without her knowledge. I just don’t!!!! 

So if I’M thinking that. . .what do you think the rest of the people UTM were thinking??? Can you see how they might be very suspicious of him??

In addition to this. . .his actions regarding Tamlin, and eventually Feyre, make zero logical sense in the context of their situation. Let’s take a look at THAT mess.

So Rhysand is suffering in this horrible awful torment, having to play Amarantha’s whore and do evil things for her. He hates every minute of it, he grows to hate himself, he claims. 

And in this giant mess, there is only ONE road to freedom for not just him, but for everyone. And that’s Tamlin.

“Then she cursed Tamlin. And my other great enemy became the one loophole that might free us all.”

Rhys knows about the curse. He knows the stipulations and what Tamlin must accomplish. He knows that doing so will free them all.

Wouldn't you then think that he would do everything in his power to attempt to aid and assist Tamlin during the course of those 50 years?????

I know he hates Tamlin by that point anyway, due to the rivalry between their families. But, my God. . .would that really matter at this point?? If me and my entire country were stuck in the position Prythian was in, I don’t really think I’d give a shit who our freedom depended on. It could be my greatest mortal enemy and I’m pretty sure I’d still be like Okay Buddy, let’s do this. I wouldn't say I’d LIKE it. But I’d use whoever I could to get me and everyone else out of that situation. 

If Rhysand, the Inner Circle, Velaris, and every other High Fae in Prythian’s lives and futures depended on Tamlin getting a human girl to fall in love with him, I would think Rhysand would be doing whatever he possibly could to further this along and make it happen. Don’t try and say that he couldn’t do it because Amarantha would find out. Rhys WAS able to keep secrets from her and do things she didn’t know about (see my big list up there! ^^) Don’t try and say that he wouldn't risk dropping his Bad Guy Mask because it would make people look “too closely” at him and possibly target Velaris and the IC (I would have a million comebacks to that. As I’ve already said, there were ALREADY extensive shields and protections guarding Velaris and had been for years. Rhys had wiped the knowledge of the IC from the minds of everyone who knew about them. And wouldn't the safer, better option for the IC be that the curse was broken??? So if he really wanted to protect them, this was the #1 thing he should be doing!!!!)

When it became clear to us all in ACOMAF that Rhys was not in fact, really a bad guy, the very first thing I immediately wondered was, “If this were the case, why was he not trying to HELP Tamlin all those years???” If that was their one loophole and their one shot at freedom and ending the nightmare they were in, why on EARTH did Rhys spend 50 years bullying, manipulating, and tormenting the ONE PERSON who had a shot at freeing them??!?!?!? 

Rhys tells Feyre in Chapter 54 of ACOMAF:

“I didn’t know. That you were with Tamlin. That you were staying at the Spring Court. Amarantha sent me that day after the Summer Solstice because I’d been so successful on Calanmai. I was prepared to mock him, maybe pick a fight.”

Again, do not tell me that Rhys was a slave to Amarantha so there wasn’t anything he could do. That is NONSENSE. After Calanmai he crafts an entire fabricated story to tell her and brings people he’s mind manipulated into validating what he’s saying. 

Instead of offering Tamlin support, or at the very least, leaving him alone, he chooses to terrorize him and his people. He leaves severed heads on the manor house grounds, taunts Tamlin about the curse, and taunts Lucien about his mother and his dead lover. Listen to what he says to Tamlin and Lucien, before he knows Feyre is there: 

“What a pity that you must endure the brunt of it, Tamlin--and an even greater pity that you’re so resigned to your fate. You might be stubborn, but this is pathetic.”

“Little Lucien. You certainly gave them something to talk about when you switched to Spring. Such a sad thing, to see your lovely mother in perpetual mourning over losing you.”

“She’s already preparing for you. Given your current state, I think I can safely report that you’ve already been broken and will reconsider her offer.”

This is flat out disgusting behavior. This is the man you want me to have sympathy for, to view as the “better man”. Tamlin and Lucien were even greater victims at this point than Rhys was himself. They were running out of time after desperately fighting a losing battle, with the entire weight of Prythian on their shoulders. Rhys’s actions do not make sense. He is digging his own grave by behaving this way. If he wanted himself and everyone to be free so badly, I’m really not sure why he’s going out of his way to mock Tamlin, make his life difficult, and taunt him about not breaking the curse. 

But things don’t stop there! They get even MORE illogical when Feyre enters the picture!!

So once Rhys discovers Feyre’s presence, he immediately picks up on the emotional connection between her and Tamlin. In this situation, I would expect his first reaction to be glee. He didn’t know who Feyre was at that point, other than a girl he’d been dreaming about (and he later reveals that he first believed these dreams meant that she would be the one to save them all). Did anyone really expect Tamlin to break that curse?? Did anyone really expect him to find a human girl with hate in her heart for the Fae and have her fall in love with him?? I don’t think for a minute Amarantha actually believed there was even the slightest chance of this happening, just like she didn’t really believe Feyre had any chance of winning all three of her trials. It’s a mind game, nothing more. But here Tamlin is, on the very brink of meeting the very specific standards set by Amarantha. 

But what does Rhys do? Amp up the dramatics to scare Tamlin into sending Feyre back across the wall, therefore ensuring that the curse will never be broken. 

His reasoning, he tells us in ACOMAF, is:

“I made Tamlin beg--as Amarantha had made me beg, to show him how powerless he was to save you. And I prayed my performance was enough to get him to send you away. Back to the human realm, away from Amarantha. Because she was going to find you. If you broke that curse, she was going to find you and kill you.”

Um. . .if Feyre breaks the curse, that means that Tamlin gets his powers back. If Tamlin gets his powers back, Amarantha is dead. If Tamlin didn’t do it, certainly one of the other High Lords would have. If you’ll recall, Feyre DOES break the curse and when that happens, Amarantha is dead in literally seconds. Her power isn’t brute strength, it’s trickery. She is no match for Tamlin whatsoever. She literally backs away in fear and pleads for her life. It’s not even a close competition!!! She doesn’t get a single scratch on him! 

Now, I will fully admit. . .this was also something I always found kind of dumb on Tamlin’s part as well. It’s seen as this grand act of love that he sends her away and puts her safety before all of Prythian’s but I’ve always been like. . .dude. You were literally A DAY away from getting out of this thing. Tamlin, as a High Lord with his full power returned, really couldn’t shield and protect Feyre in the time it would take him to kill Amarantha? Yes, he wouldn't be able to properly protect her under their current circumstances without any of his real power, but that was the whole point of the curse. . .if Feyre told Tamlin she loved him and meant it, his power would be returned. The way in which he would be able to protect her would not be the same. You’d think at the point they were at, both Tamlin AND Rhysand would be bouncing around like the singing candlestick and clock from Beauty and the Beast trying to woo a confession out of Feyre. Kallias was able to shield Viviane for 50 years while his Court was under direct attack, I have to believe Tamlin could shield Feyre for the very short time it would take him, or any other High Lord, to end Amarantha. 

Rhys later says:

“If there was a shot of freeing us from Amarantha, you were it. I thought. . .I thought the Cauldron had been sending me these dreams to tell me that you would be the one to save us. Save my people.”

So. . .if this were the case, wouldn't it make more sense to just get a happy little “I love you” out of her before the 50 years were up? Tamlin and the High Lord’s powers would return and Amarantha would be “bloody ribbons”, as SJM likes to say, in seconds. Which is exactly what happened. All the struggle and strife of her trials UTM totally avoided!! 

What I’m essentially trying to say here is that most of Rhys’s actions during this time were in direct contradiction to what he claimed he really wanted. If Tamlin was Prythian’s only shot at freedom for all those years, you’d think he would be trying to secretly aid him in some way, or at the very least, not go out of his way to torment him. If Feyre was in Tamlin’s house, clearly in love with him, and the Curse was expiring in one day, you’d think he’d go back to Amarantha and be like “Nope, sorry, nothing to report” and pray the two of them would get it together for the sake of Prythian. 

Essentially, what I’m trying to say here is that I struggle to have a ton of sympathy for Rhys during this time because I feel as if the explanations that are given for his behavior and actions are flimsy and don’t hold up against most arguments. He felt as if he HAD to become Amarantha’s lover and lapdog in order to keep her from figuring things out about his friends and trying to hurt them. . .who were concealed in a city that hadn’t been breached for 5,000 years and the knowledge of them had been wiped from every person who knew them UTM. He “couldn’t” kill or hurt Amarantha because his power belonged “wholly” to her. . .but he was able to use his powers in ways that worked against her without her knowledge or consent about tons of other things. He was so tormented and miserable in his time UTM that he. . .mocked and tormented the one person who had a shot at freeing them all. When he saw that Tamlin was right on the brink of actually breaking the curse he. . .manipulated him into ensuring that it would never be broken. All the while being surrounded by other leaders who did not have the luxury of shielding their loved ones in an anciently protected city, who worked to help all innocent citizens of Prythian, and who were losing their lives over their refusal to submit to an evil tyrant. I have a vastly larger degree of sympathy and respect for these other High Lords than I do with Rhysand. I find Rhys to be either very self-serving, or doing things that seem to directly contradict what he claims he wants. I do not blame any of the High Lords for being wary and mistrustful of him after UTM--it makes perfect sense that they would (but that’s a topic for another section of this rant!). This is a prime example of SJM self-sacrificing through her writing. I can guarantee you I wouldn't feel as strongly about this as I do after hearing it beaten into my head over and over what a noble, selfless, honorable hero Rhys was during this time. I’m sorry, it doesn’t add up to me. Too many holes, too many contradictions. Which, unfortunately, is pretty standard fare when it comes to Rhys.

Remember, this was only Part 1!! Part 2--Why Rhys is actually a terrible High Lord--coming soon! 

[sunbearsophia]

Sorry again for how few and far in-between my Tumblr posts are, guys! I'll try and be more frequent with them!

It hit me a while back that for all I talk about my Next-Gen on Twitter, I hardly ever talk about my fan kids here on Tumblr! So, I decided to throw together a ref sheet for my main girl, Emmy, to get started on that and introduce her to y'all!

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Her full name is Emilia Luna-Ophelia Barrabas-Darling, but almost everyone calls her Emmy for short. She was named after her late grandmother on Eduardo's side, although Laurel was actually the one who suggested it when she was born. (Eduardo absolutely cried when she suggested it, not that he wasn't already sobbing lol.) Her middle names were each chosen by one of her parents. (Luna for Eduardo, Ophelia for Laurel bc her mummy's a Shakespeare geek and we love her for it aaaaa.)

Probably 21 in the reference, definitely college-aged!

Working in retail currently to pay the bills, but saving up to attend art school when she gets the chance, wants to work as a background artist in animation.

Is generally a really friendly and outgoing person, extremely open with her personality, interests and affection, much like her mom. KNOWN for her hugs that could throw out someone's back, just generally really kind and chill, basically a big ol' puppy lady. She's also pretty stubborn and abrasive, however, and does have a temper on her, however. Aside from just generally getting grumpy when she's tired, exhausted or frustrated, she is just as willing to throw some HANDS when someone's pissed er off, just like her old man.

A pretty artsy-fartsy kinda gal, but not so much a snob about art, more like she'll happily ramble about art techniques and history when the subject is brought up. Also has a love for dancing, sports and Shakespeare.

Is extremely close with her family, she adores her Mummy Laurel and is a MASSIVE Daddy's Girl for Eduardo, she never misses the chance to see and spend time with them, and always wants to make them proud. (Her dad was her inspiration to start drawing when she was little, and always thinks of Eduardo and Laurel both as her heroes.) Also loves her little brother Leonardo, and is very protective of him, mess with him you mess with HER. >:(

Also loves her Uncle Mark and Uncle Jon with all her heart, they basically were third and fourth parents to her ever since she was a baby and she knows she can always go to them for anything. Very close to her other uncles, too, but out of all of them, she's closest to Jon and Mark. Also loves her Grandmado, and misses her terribly as an adult.

Has ADHD and dyslexia, so she often uses word processors and audio books to help with the latter and tends to plan and schedule her days in advance and stick heavily with routines to avoid losing focus with the former. Still has her struggles but knows she's supported and loved by those around her and is too stubborn to let them win.

Loves avocados, just like her dad. It was one of her first words, and to this day, her and her dad have a designated day all for eating avocados all throughout. (HC BY THE AWESOME @tamaraskabr ITS SO WHOLESOME I LOVE IT QwQ) Other than that, she loves basically anything mint chocolate, she's a simple woman lol.

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All the tidbits I've got for now! Plan to follow up the post with some sketches of her other outfits I've worked on! For now, hope this gives some insight on who she is so I can share more art of her on here with context!

she's my goober daughter and i love her sm lol

[lollytea]

Up until a month back I liked a guy. And I really liked him. But I found out he didn't like me back. I was really upset, but I didn't want to hold it against him, but then I found out he had a reputation of being a player (which, at our age of 14 is flirtatiously texting girls and then just. Ghosting them).

And I felt really upset. I began to question if he even saw me as a friend, and whether the way he texted me was even friendly. What if he secretly loathed me and was just doing this to get a kick out of it? What if he knew about my feelings and they were just a joke to him?

I wanted to cry, but I told my friends and my sister I was okay. But I wanted to scream. Its not my fault I was born ugly. It's not my fault my face makes me unlovable. And even though I wanted to distance myself from him I felt some sort of perverse pleasure every time he did something embarrassing in front of every one.) And that's when I think it hit me.

That's why I'm unlovable. I am unlovable because I'm a terrible person. My friends tried to comfort me saying that he's a shitty person who can't see my beauty/cuteness, but friends are obligated to say that. I wanted to believe them because they're all so beautiful, and they would never lie to me because they love me. But they deserve a better friend than me.

I want to cry because I want to experience having a whirlwind romance, and falling in love. I also know I'll probably never have that.

And AGH I feel so upset. Because all my life I've known I was ugly. But when this guy showed me attention, was nice to me, it made me feel special. Made me feel like I was having my own romance.

I hate it I hate it I hate it. I hate that I can't be loved, I hate my face, I hate myself for feeling these things. Last year when I suspected I began liking him, I told myself not to fall too deep, and here I am, ranting to you on tumblr dot com.

Lollytea, I love your writing and I love your posts. I love how confident you are of yourself. I'm very sorry for ranting in your inbox about my shitty love life, if this makes you uncomfortable, please delete it. But if you don't, I genuinely would like some encouragement. That my time for my own romance will come. That I will learn to love this face.

You're not unlovable. You're just 14. It just happens that being 14 feels a lot like being chronically unlovable. But no, that is not actually the case.

Maybe you've heard this a lot. And I imagine that it must be frustrating to listen to. That being a teenager just means your emotions are bigger and more intense than they will ever be in your entire life, so they're irrational and silly.

That's not the case either. Your feelings matter. And they're worth being listened to. But I do need you to keep in mind that the age range you're in right now is one of the most difficult periods of time that a human being will ever go through. Being a teenager is very hard. Being an adult is hard too. But me and every adult I've ever met would not trade it for being 14 again. No way in hell.

It does severely influence how you see yourself and why your emotions feel so strong and messy and all over the place. But I assure you that you're doing a fantastic job for a person in your situation. It's rough and you're getting through it and I'm proud of you.

Firstly, I'm going to say this quite bluntly but dont take it as me insulting them. Most of the boys in your class probably aren't that smart. And they are the absolute worst people to be seeking validation from. I promise that their opinion of you is not worth worrying about because they are...stupid, frankly. They won't be stupid forever. Probably. But being 14 is a weird age for boys too and they're quite mean for a while before they mature and chill tf out. Please try not to let it get to you if one of them doesn't like you romantically. I promise you it is not remotely a big deal. None of them have any idea how to be good boyfriends yet anyway.

No, you're not unlovable for occasionally having spiteful little thoughts about somebody who was mean to you. Everybody has those every once in a while. As long as you maintain some self-awareness and don't let cruelty consume your whole brain, having a few mean thoughts doesn't make you a terrible person. What WOULD make you a terrible person is external terrible behaviour. It's your actions that matter. So just be kind, alright? Be kind to your friends. Ignore the people you don't like but be civil. Don't hurt anyone. If you stick to all of this, you're golden. Considering that you already seem so self-critical of being a bit bitchy inside your own head, I think that's a promising sign than you won't do anything worse than that. I hope so anyway. Be kind, that's all you can do. Your friends love you. If you put your all into loving them in return, then you can have something so special.

You're not ugly, you're 14. Sorry, I'm getting a bit repetitive but I think it's relevant information to this whole situation. At the age you're at, your face is probably in this weird transitional period between child and adult so maybe that's why it might look "uglier" than usual to you. It might last a few more years but it won't look like that forever. I assure you that your face is beautiful because it's doing exactly what it's supposed to do. It's alright if you've felt ugly your whole life. The way you look at your own face is way more personal than the way you look at other people's faces. We don't really notice the flaws on others the way we notice our own. We're wired weird like that.

All I can say is hang tight. If you don't like your face then please try not to let it upset you that much. Your face hasn't fully developed yet. For the time being, you look exactly the way you're supposed to look and you're perfect. Let's see how it looks in a few years before we make any rash decisions about it being as ugly as you think it is.

Don't be hasty in the belief that you'll never find love and romance. I assure you that the age you're at is the absolute worst time to get a boyfriend and its perfectly okay if you don't experience it for another while. It's normal. You're fine. It's okay.

I know you want it. I know it sounds nice. And I promise that if its important to you, once you're older and the people you're interested in are a little smarter, you will have it.

I'm serious when I say that for the time being, focus on being a good friend. Focus on school. Focus on your own physical and mental health. Focus on your hobbies. Being wanted by 14 year old boys won't mean shit in the long run.

Things will be okay. You talk so much about how you'll be alone for the rest of your life. But your life has only just begun and you hardly know who you are yet. It's impossible to tell what will happen in the coming years. I promise that you'll be okay.

I know you came for me for reassurance but from that last paragraphs, I'm sure you're already smart enough to know the things I've told you. But I imagine that you just needed a second opinion. Take care, love.

[commander-rahrah]

So do I! I'm glad Astarion is patient with them although he does tease them XD I love the idea of him embroidering little designs whether it's stars, moon, or something else! It sounds adorable 😊 I would definitely adore letting him have the first pick of new clothes! He deserves it & it would help him separate from his past too 🤍 Thank you for sharing your thoughts because I love it so much :)

Here's my idea that I would love to hear your opinion! Just to let you know this is quite self-indulgent XD What if Astarion had five things about what GN!Reader does that frustrate & confuse him (but he's secretly grateful for it)

1. They always make eye contact with him unless there's something that requires their utmost attention

2. They always remember what he said to them like a book he mentioned briefly that he wants to read but can't find so they worked hard to find it for him or they asked if he doesn't mind continuing what he was talking about earlier before there was an interruption

3. They always ask for his consent even if it's something he suggested because they're familiar with forcing themselves to do something they don't like or they're used to being presented with the illusion of choice

4. They always thank him whether it's something like shooting down an enemy while they're too preoccupied or helping them carry some stuff

5. They won't touch him unless it's for his benefits like quickly removing a leaf from his hair that he keeps missing (that's how they know because they noticed his stiff expression & how tense his body is briefly when they did for the first time) or pulling him to safety

What do you think of it? I'm curious :3

Okay, tumblr definitely lost this one -- so sorry about that anon!

I think that with most of these, the biggest thing would be Astarion realizing that you actually are perceiving him. Seeing through any of his careful masks and facades he puts up. A lot of these things are ideas I've been slowly exploring in my fic series as Tav/Astarion's relationship grows, but I can definitely share some little thoughts about them before I post my bigger thoughts in my fic aha!

I would imagine that Tav/reader continuously making eye contact with him might make him nervous at first - he would try to figure out what you were trying to do, if you were trying to throw him off or something. Once he realized it was just because Tav/reader was genuinely interested in what he was saying, listening and watching… his mind might betray him a bit. Why did you focus on him so much? Did you like what you saw? What if you didn't? I think its something he would have to get use to as he let his guard down more and more, and began to trust Tav/reader

I think he would be floored the first time Tav/reader did something like this. If he made some off the cuff comment about wishing he had better reading material, and then the next night there was a little stack of books sitting in his tent. If you did it again, he would maybe ask in a teasing way, but secretly really really wants to know why you're doing this, "What's the big deal? Trying to bribe me?" and being even more confused when Tav/reader shrugs and tell him that they thought of him when they saw it or remembered him bringing it up. This would make him even more confused and probably tell them as such. "You get more puzzling every day."

The always asking for consent thing is actually a scene I already have written for my series Talking to the Moon - but a bit of a snippet of how it will go is essentially him getting exasperated as Tav once again asks "May I?" and he goes "Do you insist on asking that every time?". "Yes, Astarion. Every time." And even if it was his idea, I think Tav/reader would still ask. He might roll his eyes, "Darling, it was my idea." But you would explain that he can always change his mind, that consent given or promises made before can change, that in the moment it could change. That you never want him to feel like that with you, not ever, not again. So yes, you will ask every. single. time.

Gratitude is not something he is used too. His master made demands, not requests. There were no thank yous expressed to him, not ever. I think he would probably mask this one better then any of the others, flipping his hair and replying in his sassy voice that "you owe me" or "yes, I am quite something, aren't I?" But every thank you you gave him, probably healed something inside him

I think that post-confession, Tav/Reader would only ever touch Astarion without permission if it was a matter of safety, like pushing him out of the way of an arrow or for a spell, etc. And before he could say anything, they would start profusely apologizing, not trying to explain it away but then Astarion would shush them, reassuring them that he was alright, "It's okay, I'm fine. We're okay, I promise."

[alasse-earfalas]

I just finished reading the zero draft of an original fiction story I wrote several years ago. I was touched by the themes and interactions of the characters in the latter end of the story. When I wrote it, I had a bare-bones plot goal, but I didn't know how I was going to get there, so I let the story meander and take me where it would.

And now I'm sitting here, years and lots of fanfic experience later, looking at this and going, "Holy crap. This is gold. There's gold in here. I started out writing mostly dross but by the end I struck gold."

I'm hesitant to say anything because my brain is dumb and likes to sabotage what I want to do. This story... I'd never forgotten that it was precious to me, but I had forgotten why. I'd forgotten the message I had to share. I'd forgotten the heart of the story I really wanted to tell.

That heart is apparent in the latter end of the draft. Funny that it didn't show up until then. Funny that parts I'd glossed over in writing it are the parts I want more details about as a reader. I've let this story sit, and now with clear eyes and a lot more practice, I can see more clearly its value. I have a drive to rewrite it, from scratch, with the heart of the story in mind from the start this time.

But I have no one to share it with. I suppose I could ask my friends, but I know a lot of them are busy and I don't want to beg. At least with fanfiction I know there's a common interest from the start. With my own story, I don't have that guarantee.

But I want to write this story anyway. I want to rewrite it with the heart in mind. I want to get excited about it again. I want to have brainrot about the setting and the characters and the lore again. This is my own little universe, and I want to curl up and get lost in it again, bask in every part of it that I love.

So don't be surprised if I get on my obscure little tumblr blog over here and start rambling about characters nobody else knows, about a fictional universe that I'm the sole lorekeeper on, or about the themes or frustrations etc. of this creative project. Posting here is nice, even if I don't get much engagement (though engagement is, as always, wonderfully appreciated).

Anyway I've got a doctor's appointment to go to, thank you for reading all this, bye~

[ulquichaan]

Miraculous Ladybug - my thoughts.

Hello!

It's been a while, I know. But I come back to rant yet again! I'm sorry for any mistakes in advance - its 2am and the thoughts won't let me sleep so I have to get them out there somewhere. If you don't want to waste your time - skip it. If you actually want to read it, I'll have a cookie waiting for you at the end of this. :3

My journey with MLB.

Miraculous was that one show that I got to know about through a parody of it on polish yt channel called Surreactor. I didn't know what it was about but it looked interesting and that was a point in time when season 3 was just starting to come out. Sooo, as the curious child I was - I gave it a go. And it captured me very easily.

At first all I wanted is for Adrien and Mari to finally get together. I never had big thoughts about it. Then I got bored between new episodes and just... forgot about it.

After some time however I came back to it. It was somewhere around 4th season airing. I returned to it, watched it all over again and it captured me yet again. I completely fell in love with Adrien as character and started to read loads of fanfiction about the two main heroes. I got invested, started to draw the characters in different settings and what not. I started even posting here on tumblr the rants that blew out about Adrien and about Black Cat holders as a whole just because I was frustrated on how little love he got or that I couldn't find any theories that would make sense.

I made new friend, started to plan stories more than I did before, returned to RP with my old friend through messenger and more.

It was a blow of creativity of mine at that time. You maybe you know of "Sky Is The Limit"? That was the point for me where I had so many ideas that I had to do something with at least one of them. Talking about an overload, right?

Season 4 finale - the best finale in this show in my honest opinion. Though I am based so who cares.

The point is - I deeply fell in love with this fandom for the most part.

And then... season 5 happened.

At first I was hooked. Really. I felt that it was going in the right direction and I even wanted to watch it later so I could see it in order.

Oh boy, did I get disappointed. Very disappointed.

I was never a Senti-Adrien fan, let's be real. But the execution? Even worse.

The finale? The fight yea, fun. But why cut out Adrien out of it???

Chloe as mayor? ARE YOU FOR FUCKING REAL? It's losing braincells more and more.

And I know the plot armor was always evident in this show and all.... but i feel like it was knocked up 10 times or more in season 5 to the point it could beat Game of Thrones seasons 7 and 8. (Yeah, I know what should compare two shows where one is fenomenal and the other has always been trash, but you can't argue with me that seasons 7 and 8 weren't rushed and had very poor execution)

To say that I was angry is an understatement. I HATED season 5 with every fiber of my existence. I still do, but I'm far more calm about it than I was originally. Believe it or not.

I saw all the drama in the fandom. When people complained about the show and other people came in to defend it. And I have to say - I can see where both sides are coming from.

To the people who enjoy it, all of it - I'm glad you do! I really am!

However.

I can clearly see where the hate is coming from and anytime I saw a valid critique I couldn't help but agree with it. There were some awesome responses to that critique even from people who do enjoy the show still, but there were always people who I'll call "white knights".

Aka people who will ride-or-die for the show and always say there is nothing wrong with it!

Oh how I hate this way of thinking....

Little message to those white knights - yes there are pure haters that hate just to hate, but in the spectrum of people who are critiquing the show are also people who loved it and got disappointed. When people are angry/dissapointed they usually feel the need to express themselves and forums like Reddit, Tumblr, Twitter, are just perfect for ranting. I have spent fair share in the horse gaming community to know that every flop will have a retaliation and shutting up people will make them only more angry. :|

I stopped liking the show. Why am I coming back to it?

That's a question that started to bother me just as I was going to sleep.

I have watched Hazbin Hotel (Lucifer my beloved) and fell deeply in love with it. I always liked Vivzie's Hellaverse being it Helluva Boss and now Hazbin, but there is something that just came back to me.

I started yet again imagining Adrien and Marinette but in the helllaverse. Or what if I merged hellaverse and Miraculous together in some way. Or other crazy ideas that will never see the light of day.

It's always those two characters for the most part. But the moment those two show up, the rest of Miraculous cast does too.

I fell put of the show. I don't like it. Why do I keep coming back?

My thought is - the fandom and the work it did for the characters.

I have always loved to read fanfiction even it came to miraculous. And it's always SO MANY! With many different variants of the world or entirely different settings. Ofc there are some bad fics, but the good ones are those that captured my heart and made me love the characters even more.

Let's put in some examples (and recommendations if you want to check them out):

Happiness by Somewhere_Out_Here

Once a Thief, always a Thief by @saijspellhart

Bakery Enemies by @buggachat

Heaven in hiding by @livinglittlelie

I'll guess your heart, if you guess mine by PurpleHeartsOne

Chat Blanc's Moon Waltz by @rileyclaw

The comic dubs by PhantomSavage

The little comics like "Passionate Kiss" by @edendaphne

All of these are just very few examples from multitude of content I devoured when I was in the love stage for MLB. And those things are STILL SO GOOD. (You have to check it out if you haven't already)

The point is - the fandom fell in love with the concept and if not that, then the characters. Yes, they aren't perfect. Some would say they are very much Mary Sue-ish. Some would say they are badly written. While the fact is - the characters themselves aren't badly written, the plot is just badly handled.

I can see why people love Marinette, she is quirky, funny and her ideas, while absurd most of the time, they work. And that's fine! She is supposed to be creative and what not. A great friend to have in corner, that for sure :3

Adrien on the other hand is supposed to be a bundle of issues that come with living a sheltered life and the want to be free.

(The movie handled Marinette much better than the show, let's be real here)

Sad fact - the writers of the show couldn't handle all of the potential they set up. But the fandom could and that's what's beautiful in my opinion.

The show may not be a masterpiece but they made some aspects of it so enjoyable and investing (love-square) that other people decided to execute those good things in their own stories and create something else.

The characters are just so easy to put into other stories too. Because they are written in the way they are (even if poorly handled at times) the aspects of them are very flexible, which in turn makes them easy to incorporate into other AUs.

For me it proves that you don't need a very complicated and deep character to make your story memorable. Even tho that certainly helps depending on your story. Miraculous was really lucky it got that creative fandom in the first place.

And this is what is beautiful.

Ending, some plans of mine that who knows if they will see the light of day. :]

This is only for those who are interested what I have been up to and what do i plan with this blog:

I am not quitting tumblr, oh no. I'll be probably reposting some stuff that I like from time to time.

I am returning to write "Sky Is The Limit", however I am completely rewriting it for the.... 7th time? Something like that. I doubt I'll finish it anytime soon at this rate and if I get the need to draw I might draw few characters from there or designs I have planned.

I have a very big project in mind that I might probably make a new blog for. It's still just an idea but I getting closer to actually being made so stay tuned.

I will start posting stuff from Hazbin Hotel. I fell deeply in love with Lucifer's character and you can't unglue me from that duck man!!

Other than that I went to university and I'm enjoying my time here so yeah.

And here is your cookie for reading all that! You're a legend!

(I'm open for any discussions as long as they stay respectful. Feel free to DM me :>)

[proshippers-against-censorship]

-> long winded rant ahead soz xx

im a 17 y/o proshipper (i refer to myself as neutral sometimes) and ik we're all in the same boat here but im someone who hasn't been groomed or assaulted at any time in my life and im very grateful for that but im someone who interacts w antis a lot on my main twt and a lot of the times I'll see posts that call people who r proships freaks and that they're weird or somethings deeply wrong w them,,,

I kinda take it to heart (esp bc I have low self-esteem, and im working on it), and it kinda makes me doubt myself and think that maybe i am weird or like a freak bc like.... idk there's no "reason" (not to say that I think being groomed or assaulted is a good "reason" to be a proshipper i know this is a slippery slope and I'd never want to mean anything like that but ik how this is coming off rn im sorry 😭 but thats not my intention at all im just wordinf this badly) that I have for being a proshipper and that maybe I'm just some like perverted incel loser who gets off on this shit or whatever whatever blah blah blah who gaf but it's just so AVHAHSUHHH it's so frustrating that i let what they say get to me and I hate that I feel like this and there's not really a point to this it's just been bugging me for a while but idk man.. it just sucks to see antis say that type of shit and then turn around and say not to send death threats or shit to people it's like how can u sleep at night knowing that you said something like that to some1 like idk that doesn't sit right w me idk

also I'm sorry if hwta I said early implies that you need like some tragic reason or something to be proship I truly do not believe that and I didn't know how to word it the best way bc I do see a lot of people who went through something like that turn to proshipping as a coping mechanism and for me it's just not like that so i always feel like im a bad person for it..? idk what I was trying to say I'm really just venting here so im really sorry I know this is out of left field tumblr is the only place I feel okay w interacting w proship stuff and I feel pretty safe and comfy here bc on twt its a DUMPSTER FIRE so I hope that what I'm saying comes off in the way I intended 🙇

sorry for da yap 🦒💯

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