#TRYING TO KEEP MY SANITY OK

[air3d3lalm3na]

All the trans/generally lgbt people come to my line at work, in this conservative ass place, at my stupid cashier job I got to not have a gap. and it’s very sweet.

I am so overqualified and everyone loves me bc of how well I treat them and the manners I was raised with and I hate that this is not normal bog standard in society as it used to be……. Like right up there with writing letters and organizing + going to dances not being the norm anymore. :( I get so much “you’re a nice boy” from the old folks and it feels bittersweet every single time.

Try to keep a sense of humor about my current life and joke around with my two funny work buddies. The 20smth bi girl and the baby brother. She and I traded small Christmas gifts. She used to give me so many doughnuts that I dreamt tons were falling out of my bag and I didn’t know what to do with them all! lol. then we stopped because it all looked so weird at work. Those two are reteaching me how to have humor, after my years spent around fuddy duddies which has so stunted my humor and ability to banter….

As for the “family” comin’ in….

I get this soft butch lesbian retired gym coach often and I love her attitude. A couple of other lesbians or bi and gay or bi men here and there. Masc enough looking guys until they talk and then it’s “gay or hipster?” The one probably bi girl who spoke to me like she really liked me a few months ago has come a couple of times more, but been calmer. Overall they are mostly just neutrally nice, but it’s the gym coach butch and and the next one whom I get the most warmth from.

This one returning customer is mtf, later transitioning and very sweet and soft spoken, clearly boymoding and I got hippie guy vibes until actual interaction happened and then still hippieish after. Long grey hair and a cloth headband and just a sweet smile. Her son said something that made it sort of clear, the first time (“since this person (does xyz)” where you would usually say “this guy”). She always comes to me, even when alone.

Another, younger and fully into transition transgirl came to me the other day. She had put TONS into her voice and it showed. I really respect the hell out of that. Her look could pass if mine damn well can, around here, with older conservative folks, but in the city, around experienced types, she’d maybe need a lil FFS as much as I need anything that I do. But like clearly quite woman to the general public IMO and probably could be or be hovering around stealth (?).

I get this one guy on the regular whom I believe is very deep stealth ftm who transitioned much younger. He could easily be any other midheight-shortish cis guy. But something about his eyes makes me wonder. Nothing a cis person could ever notice. But if you’ve met long term transitioned people as someone trans, it’s the tiny things. Idk. And his expression is a little nervous too, like a deer in the headlights. I would never raise the topic with most of them, but especially him, with that slight anxiety he seems to have. But still he always comes to me.

Another young one came to me the other day. Looked teenage male but ID’d him for alcohol and yep, female name not yet changed on the ID still. In naturally making convo, I mentioned I was new around here, and asked “if there were any community” around where he was (nearby tiny barely-a-city city, outside the main one). Keeping it vague and safe. He kinda brushed it off, and as it was the close of things, he left. Odd that he wouldn’t go for it but still came to me. But ok dude.

Yesterday, my apparently frequently/usually (?) male passing self stepped by to let someone I briefly thought was a middle aged lady in a hoodie go first before me into the women’s restroom. (Since that’s what’s up for me at this job, “officially.”) He walked right by, into the men’s, lol. Not trans, but just my mistake, most likely. But still lol. I thought, ok, here we are…out here….

[battle-of-alberta]

doing another little character map guide for the pinned post revamp in the works and every time i do one of these i see the glaring hole where i should put peace river and every time i’m like “maybe next year”

[byanyan]

i'm trying to do more than just shitpost today i promise

[phagodyke]

woohoohooooo

[tearfest]

stressed out bc i just checked my uni emails and i have like. 10 essays and 2 books to read by tuesday and thursday so ive been sat trying to make a start on that before i go out n ive had no time to get to my replies/owed starters on here and for that i am super sorry ! hopefully i'll get the time tomorrow < 3 sending my love to everyone for being so patient w me !

[orcelito]

Either I make an absolute ass of myself online or I force myself to Refrain From Posting for the night

Oh I am making such a good first impression for my new followers

[aphel1on]

the longer i look at this panel the more deranged i feel about it. this is environmental storytelling at its finest.

the eodio stand-in doll in particular makes me crazy. where did it come from? did thistle just pop into the village like "hey ungrateful wretches, one of you needs to make me a life-sized mannequin, For Reasons". did he make it himself? seems quite unlikely, yet the possibility haunts me. i mean, i guess there could've been one just lying around the dungeon somewhere. it's the act of replacement itself that really gets to me. (edit: it's been pointed out to me that the eodio doll also could have been left behind as part of delgal's escape plan. slightly different kind of madness but tbh, just as funny-sad to me if that happened and thistle went Ok, Guess That's Eodio Now.)

both the wives are there too. we know very little about them, which makes me tend to assume thistle wasn't all that close to them, but they're still included. when did they end up here? did he kick their souls out of their bodies at some point, or were they among those who left their bodies voluntarily to try and escape? when did yaad become an effective orphan, delgal an effective widower? women in the margins of the narrative, tell me your stories!

and the fact that they're surrounded with the living paintings, which thistle habitually wanders through to relive the past. this truly is his inner sanctum, his place of utmost comfort... and it may as well be a tomb.

that panel is so creepy when you first see it. just a sense of "ohh jeez, there's a lot to unpack there".

and actually, yeah, it remains creepy from pretty much any angle, but the more you think about it the more it's also tragic.

this is where many of thistle's happiest moments took place. everything he had in that picture is now gone. first he lost their warm regard, then one-by-one their bodies became hollow shells. before the end, none of the people here needed or enjoyed food anymore. the dinner table, as a center of both family life and nutrition, became obsolete.

a line from someone else's excellent post about thistle has stuck in my head ever since i read it: "to eat is to live, but to eat together is to be loved". to me, this is the sentiment and symbolism at the core of everything that happens in dungeon meshi.

it makes this bit all the sadder and more disturbing.

there's several things to note here:

thistle has gone from seated and eating with them as part of the family, to a lonely and ominous figure hovering over delgal's shoulder

eodio is conspicuously absent from view, and his body would have been a husk by now, but yaad says parents, which forces me to assume that they are sitting at the table with eodio's soulless body, hidden under yaad's speech bubble

they're not actually eating anything.

those plates are empty. you could assume that they've already finished eating, maybe, but yaad refers to it as sitting around the dinner table. in fact, he compares it to what he's currently doing; sitting at the dinner table watching the touden party eat, not eating anything himself.

it paints a pretty grim picture. for some time even after the fantasy had fallen apart, even after there was no need or desire to eat, they kept gathering around the dinner table. at that point, i'd guess only so as not to provoke thistle's wrath.

but even that last happened a long, long time ago.

this is a callback to what senshi said in the golden kingdom: the reason the people keep maintaining their fields and silverware and so forth is that they need to do so in order to stay sane.

paradoxically, the dinner table is the most striking evidence of thistle's insanity, and at the same time, it's the only anchor to sanity he has left.

he kept enforcing the ritual of dinner together long after it lost significance. when even that was impossible- because almost everyone's souls were gone- he kept their bodies at the table anyway. it's fine. it's fine! he's protected them, physically, just like he set out to. they're all still breathing. at a glance it looks like they could wake up and resume dinner at any moment. like this, it's easy to pretend.

isn't that what being a dungeon lord is, at the core of it? rejecting reality, staying in the prison of one's impossible desires. it's just one long game of pretend.

thistle did all this to protect his loved ones. no matter how obsessive and twisted he became in pursuit of that over the years, his core motivation never changed. this is all he has left of that dream: his loved ones' bodies gathered around the locus of their happiest memories together. like this, he can tell himself he's succeeded.

when eodio's body vanished with delgal's soul in it- when he couldn't even have that anymore... well.

i want to reach through the screen and shake him. no, they're not, thistle. THISTLE, NO, THEY'RE NOT! the doll of eodio is the closest thing to him in this panel, underlining the point. when that final illusion was shattered, he became completely unable to cope with reality.

therefore casually forgetting the creepy eodio doll isn't real.

thistle isn't stupid. eodio's body vanished at the same time as delgal's soul. shortly after, more adventurers came pouring in than ever before. deep down, he knows what happened. if he didn't, being confronted with the truth by mithrun wouldn't have made him panic so hard he summoned chimera falin to the first floor.

yet still...

he absolutely can't admit that to himself. he is clinging to the last scraps of the illusion with everything he has.

this is a dungeon lord at the end of desire. this is a lotus-eater machine left running long after its conclusion. this is mithrun lying listlessly in his bed, his replica lover having given up any pretense of being human. the illusion is all that's left. (an illusion is all it ever was.) thistle and the citizens of the golden kingdom- they're ghosts just as much as the ones who wander the dungeon floors. and if it weren't for thistle sealing the lion away, he would've been eaten by it long ago.

all of this encapsulated by that single panel of the dinner table.

[marsmaximoff]

💔; crimson pain -a different kind of blood

content warning: gn!reader who plays as number 028. (dating) angst. mentions of death, financial struggles, vomit, blood and fainting.

word count: 1935. i got a bit too carried away 😬

author’s note: finally, here it is. i’ve had this idea for so long but the universe wasn’t on my side, it seems. i really wanted to post it sooner 🥲. as always, constructive criticism is welcomed, and i apologize for the mistakes (english is my third language). oh, and tysm for the support on the jun-ho headcanons post! what do you mean over 1000 likes? that is insane 🤧🤧. i hope you’ll enjoy this one too. 🩷🩷🩷🩷

the sugary umbrella lays on your shaky hand, under the excruciating yet unmasked gaze of the soldier. once the ‘pass’ is given, you stand up ready to get out of there. “you made it!” the voice of the one that has become the closest thing to a friend you could have in here relaxes you ever so slightly. “i almost didn’t. can’t believe i’m adding umbrellas to my traumas list.” having chosen the hardest doesn't surprise you much, not with unluckiness being a part of your life since you can remember. “well, im just happy you did. i thought the square was simple, but now i feel like we should have just chosen the triangle instead, you know? take a look at the survivors; most of them chose it and….” his words fade as an eerie feeling takes over your body, like something’s wrong. turning around, you’re met with one of them, staring right at you completely stiff, not even holding the weapon, merely some feet away.

“is he looking at us?” he can sense the uneasiness too, it seems. “let’s just go.” you can still feel his unfamiliar gaze on your neck, sending a shiver down your spine.

the doors opening break the silence and the rare calmness of the room. “player 028?” your body freezes completely. a stomach drop follows, and your heart rate skyrockets. no. nonono. you’ve done nothing wrong. is it the dalgona? the figure was perfectly carved out; you made sure of it. are they gonna kill you? two soldiers stand by the entrance, waiting. with a final glance at your friend, who is most definitely thinking the same, you reach the pink guards. you don’t even know what to say, should you beg for mercy? try to stay as cooperative as possible? “be quick.” what? the other one grabs your arm and begins to lead you somewhere. “i-i don’t-” your hands are shaking. “please, i didn’t do anything wrong...” begging it is. “keep. walking.” the words are almost a whisper, tho demanding. a hint of desperation can be heard as well. “okay, okay, ok-” wait. why did those words- no. you’re going crazy. it’s just the anxiety, the fear. 

the stranger takes you to the bathrooms and quickly closes the door. you step back. again. and once more. what now? he wouldn’t shoot you here, right? and why the hell does he look so tense? his hands move to his mask and make it disappear, and with it, the remaining bit of sanity you had.

the nausea from a few seconds ago comes back stronger, maybe you will die today. “jun-ho…” your voice is almost unrecognizable, tho a miracle, given the struggle breathing has become. “what are you doing here?” “i could ask you the same thing.” he’s angry, of course he is, but the hurt in his eyes pains you the most. “no….you need to get out of here.” god. you can feel yourself spiraling. nothing makes sense. “i will. and im taking you with me.” “h-how- when did- i-“ cold sweat has completely taken over your palms. “wait….wait. was it you?…. this morning?” he nods. “i found the damn card they gave you at yours and my brother’s house” what? “in-ho…?” why does everything keep getting worse? “have you seen him?” surely you would remember something like that, “n-no. maybe before the first game…..” you heed your legs’ warning to give up and sit down. “why are you doing this? i dont understand.” it’s not like he could. “they let you out. and you didn’t seek me. you hid yourself. again. i had to learn what was going on from a random man at the station. not you!!” silence between you had never felt this suffocating before, nor the atmosphere so uncanny. “don’t you realize how dangerous this is? they are killing innocent people! haven’t you realized?! 79 have died today. just because of a stupid cookie? what do you think you are doing?! you could have gotten yourself killed! you have no idea how worried i’ve been.” you don’t look at him. this shouldn’t be happening, he wasn’t supposed to find out.

“please, honey. this is insane and you know it. let’s get out of this madness.” the change in his tone of voice is evident, bordering the plea. it’s obvious he’s making an effort to remain calm, to use less confrontational comments. “i can’t.” “yes, you can. we’ll leave the same way i got here, don’t worry. no one will see us.” but you really can’t. you know that well. he sighs, “why didnt you tell me? how could you hide something like this from me? i thought we trusted each other.” 

distress seems to have replaced the blood running through your veins. “i would have helped you, always. i can still do it. if you need money, i’ll give it to you, it’s not a problem.” he keeps going after your negative. “i will. we can find another way-” “there isn't.” “of course there is. i have my savings, we’ll use them. i can ask for a raise. mr kim owes me after all this time. and i could do more hours-”

“its not FUCKING ENOUGH!” the sharpness of your words cuts all over his face. pain flows out, dripping a bloody red. more silence. you could drown in it. well, in for a penny, in for a pound.

“my parents’ house is gonna get seized.” a burning throat accompanies the confession. “i messed up like crazy.” the expected embarrassment doesn’t show up, instead, regret does. “it’s not your fault.” how can he say that? “it is. i got them into this, I'll get them out.” “and you think risking your life here is the only way to do it? thats not true. god, why didn’t you tell me?” you rub your temple. “that doesn’t matter now. you-you need to get out, all this is suspicious.” you are not only trying to avoid the question, the guards could notice at any moment. “i told them you were gonna throw up.” “vomit or not you’re still in the bathroom with a player.” for some seconds, the only noise that can be heard is the shatter of your heart. “honey, listen to me. your parents wouldn’t want this. they don’t even blame you, im sure. how could they ever wish for something at the expense of their daughter’s life?” but the guilt is too heavy, too imprinted on your mind. “it’s not about me. if it were my house, i wouldn’t care, but it’s theirs. i would never forgive myself for not doing anything.” “and there are so many things you could do that don’t need you participating in some psychopaths’ games! do you really not see how dangerous and demented this is? please leave with me.” “jun-ho. think about it. if i ended up here, even after they gave us a second chance, it’s because i want to. no one forced me, and i’m old enough to know what i’m doing.” your replies are getting colder, which you hate. but it’s the only way to make him understand. “besides, they’re all kids' games. they’re easy.” you can only hope he won’t sense your attempt at self-persuasion. “they are shooting people. you could be dead. and i would have never seen you again, or known what had happened.” the urge to cry gets stronger with every word, to dive into his arms and finally feel some sort of calmness, warmth, love.

“i’m sorry that i hurt you, that i made you worry and feel like i couldn’t trust you. but i won’t apologize for being here.” “i don’t want you to apologize. i only want you to get out of here and not die.” his desperation has increased so much it’s swallowed your own distress. “i’ve already won two, i can make it to the end.” you refute. but you read him easily, he is planning to get you out without your agreement, somehow.

“please.” now it’s you that pleads. “if you love me, let me stay.”

his eyes widen, you see them watering. his heartbreak drowns out yours. you are aware you’ve never said anything as painful before. it hurts. more than anything they could do to you here. perhaps you are already dead. “how can you ask me something like this?” maybe you’re desperate, or too blinded by the blame that’s rotting on your insides. or perhaps it’s love. “get out of here. stay safe. and don’t tell the police, jun-ho. don’t even think about stopping the games. i need this, don’t ruin it.” god you don’t recognize yourself anymore. how nice it would be to go back when things were easy. when remorse didn’t control yourself, and you were happy with him. “what do you expect me to do if you die?” “i won’t” “you can’t know that! how can i let the love of my life risk it all when i know i could do something?” understanding such perspective is effortless. if it were the other way around, you too would act like he is.

you approach him for the first time, god how you craved it. your hands cup his pained yet beautiful face and a tear drops. “i missed you.” he says quietly, unable to stay angry at you for long. “i missed you too.” you answer back, wiping the tear. “i missed your face, your voice, your touch. i miss your kisses.” things already ache enough like this, so you give in. the kiss is soft, so fragile, like a bit more intensity would make it disappear. “i love you.” he whispers resting his forehead on yours. “i love you too.”

a knock on the door destroys the illusion. shit. “lay on the floor.” “what?” “lay on the floor”, he repeats, walking towards the door while putting his mask back on, “and play along.” the door opens and the same voice from earlier speaks. “what do you think you’re doing in there?” may that unluckiness give you a rest for some minutes. “she passed out. she was taking too long and not answering back so i entered and found her unconscious.” footsteps grow louder. “player 028…. i don’t remember any health issues on the file… fuck.” you stay as still as possible, it sounds plausible, given the stress. “take care of it, i’ll let the boss know. and don’t take longer.” with that, he exits the room, and you thank his unwillingness to deal with sensitive issues.

sitting back up, jun-ho kneels to your level. “you look good for a faint.” a hint of a smile appears on your face. “are you mad at me?” “i was. mostly worried. i don’t like this at all.” you grab his gloved hands. “i’ll be okay, believe me.” he doesn’t. he can’t. “please, be careful. and think about it. if you change your mind, i’ll be waiting.” you won’t. you wouldn’t let yourself. but you nod. “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. i hope you’ll carry that with you. i love you so damn much.” his voice breaks, and you tell yourself it’s time to go back, this conversation can only get more and more devastating for you both. you offer the bleeding and broken pieces of your heart. not meaning to cut him this time. and he takes them. how could he not treasure them? you kiss again. it tastes different this time. like farewell. 

and when you get out of the room, you both know that was the last time you’ll see each other. 

[avelera]

Ok because I've given up all sanity and I'm now a "Jayce Has Been Trapped In a Time Loop" Truther, let's just quickly mention THIS ^^^ image above from the Arcane Act 3 trailer

I don't think this is from the future. I think the trailer wants you to think Jayce has come back as some fascistic force for evil hellbent on murdering innocent cult leaders like Viktor but that's the sort of thing trailers are supposed to do.

I think this image is from the past. Namely, this is one of the time loops or alternate timelines that Jayce has been in, trying to stop the Hexcore through Viktor from once again destroying an entire civilization (Piltover/Zaun in this case) just like Heimerdinger warned him it would.

One reason I think it's from the past? Jayce is younger here than we've seen him when he reemerges in 2.06.

The Jayce who emerged from the Wild Rune has more lines on his face, possibly longer hair (it's hard to tell) more scarred up lips and a whole lot less hope and determination in his eyes.

And while we're at it, has anyone noticed that Jayce's hammer and hands have red and brown smears on them? Almost like fresh blood?

Almost like he's coming from recent violence? Perhaps a battle, or another attempt to stop the Hexcore somewhere else?

If you accept my premise that the armor is from the past, not the future, then let me add one more point that it means Jayce had long-term time loops he went through. I think it also implies that he had time loops where things looked like they might go well, enough to be able to marshal an army and have armor tricked out for him. But that hope and determination is gone from his eyes now. Whatever he was wearing armor for? It didn't work.

Because all Jayce keeps repeating now is. "I won't fail." He failed the other times guys. This guy is broken. He's also exhausted.

I think the fact that a lot of time has passed for him is already implied just based on his appearance in 2.06, because of the brace on his leg, it would have needed to be fitted to him which implies more than just a quick jump in and out of a timeline. But the armor even more so requires time to be fitted and customized to him.

Throw in the fact he's visibly aged years, and I'd say Jayce has been away for quite a long time, more than just months but maybe years or even close to a decade of time spent living other lives in either other dimensions or in a loop of the timeline of the current dimension. And my suspicion is that in those time loops or other dimensions? We're going to see the emotional encounters with Viktor that didn't happen in the main timeline.

[leechjam]

still blows my mind that everyone buffy loved and cared for saw her struggling to keep custody of dawn, keep her house, keep her sanity, and, ya kno, try and overcome her crippling depression and never once thought maybe they should help her out financially??? sure giles gave her a check once but thats gonna run out fast with all her bills?? willow lives in her house and never thought to pay rent? they let all those bills go by when she was dead?? realistically buffy cannot work, slay, and be a mother all at the same time. the least everyone could do would be to buy her fucking groceries. i kno giles has gotta be loaded ok give ur daughter some of that income that u get by being in charge of her. and dont get me started on the council not paying her

[obito-in-disguise]

You know the trend ‘you might think im crazy.’ And then the girlfriend fake pounces at their partner can you do that with the hashira?? 😂😂

Not gonna lie, I had to look this one up pimp 😔I need to go back to being on tiktok 12 hours of the day, no more productive hobbies✊🏼no more productive hobbies✊🏼

Let's get right into it!

| You might think I'm crazy trend with the hashiras |

Featuring; Shinazugawa Sanemi, Tomioka Giyuu, Iguro Obanai, Uzui Tengen, Gyomei Himejima, and Kyojuro Rengoku.

Shinazugawa Sanemi

Sanemi would get startled and smack you. The whole thing would blow up into a huge fight, not physical of course.

"It was a reflex, what were you expecting!"

"For you not to Floyd Mayweather my ass like a normal person!"

"I'm sorry!"

He would end up having to cuddle you throughout the rest of the evening as an apology. Holding ice to the spot where he smacked with a bit of guilt.

"No more stupid pranks ok?"

Tomioka Giyuu

Giyuu would full on flinch. Arms waving around and trying to protect his face simultaneously, eyes squeezed shut.

Afterwards you would both stare at each other with wide eyes, the room in complete silence.

His expression would slowly morph into one of anger, his usual scowl more intense, his ears flushed with embarrassment. He can't believe he let his guard down around you and this is what he gets, he makes a mental note to give you the silent treatment for the next hour as punishment.

"Oh my gosh yuu, I'm so s-"

"Delete that, now."

Iguro Obanai

Obanai 🤝🏼Giyuu 🤝🏼Flinching

Obanai would jerk back, eyes wide, clutching his pearls. He looks at you in amazement as you basically die of laughter, collapsing to the floor.

He wasn't necessarily scared but definitely worried for your sanity.

"...You are crazy"

"Omg you should've seen your face!"

Uzui Tengen

He would just grin and grab your hands. No flinching in sight whatsoever.

"boo you're no fun..."

"Yeah it's so lame that i don't flinch when you pretend to hit me. You must be the worst..."

Gyomei Himejima

Gyomei quite literally wouldn't see you coming. He'd just sit there, innocently waiting for you to do whatever you said you needed him for.

You feel terrible, setting your baby up for something like that, so you'd shut the whole thing down and give him a hug.

"What's wrong flower..."

"I'm sorry Gyo, I was gonna hit you..."

"what..."

Kyojuro Rengoku

He would just smile and tilt his head in confusion, no flinch in sight, not even a blink.

yeesh

You'd shiver a little, your man was a little unsettling.

"That's creepy Kyo..."

He'd just laugh loudly "I like this game! let's go again"

Brb, on my way to kidnap Gyomei and keep him in my pocket forever.

Enjoyed the story? check out more of my other Demon slayer fics and more stories! Requests are open! and don't forget to like, reblog or leave a comment pookie♡

[magicalqueennightmare]

It's the Heat

Billy Butcher x Reader

It's the hottest summer in years and the safe house Frenchie's contact handed over to the boys has no air

It's just a smut(ish) drabble

You turned over for what felt like the millionth time. You appreciated having a safe place to crash until Grace could help all of you out of this tight spot but for the love of christ they couldn't have thrown in a singular working air conditioner?

The one fan that had been alloted per bedroom was the only thing keeping what little sanity you had. MM had his own room, Kimiko was in with Frenchie, Hughie was with Annie and that meant you were stuck with Butcher.

"For fuck's sake,if you flip over one more time I'm kicking you out of the bed" you groaned hearing his voice behind you. "It's feels like the seventh circle of hell in here" you turned to face him and the bastard was laying back across the bed with his eyes closed. He'd shed everything down to his boxers,no wonder he wasn't complaining.

You were wearing a tank top and thin cotton pants but they felt like they might as well have been made of wool. He opened one eye and smirked "Strip down. Fan feels pretty decent when nothings stopping it" you knew he was purposely fucking with you but the idea did sound promising.

You shrugged and lifted your bottom off the bed to wiggle the pants off your hips, you cut your eyes at Butcher to see he now had his head propped up on one arm watching you. The look in his eyes told you he didn't mind the view and honestly the fan did feel better already. Butcher was a lot of things but you knew you could trust him to the extent of not touching without consent and well you'd gotten dressed in front of the entire crew before so you figured why not and pulled the tank over your head and tossed it to the floor along with your pants.

"Fuckin hell" he muttered and you cut your eyes at him "Something wrong Butch?" He rolled his eyes "The heat is diabolical" you nodded, closing your eyes as the fan rotated in a pitiful attempt to cool your bodies "I'm tempted to go sleep in the tub but either I'd wake up pruney or Frenchie would toss ice cubes in for shits and giggles"

"That's an idea" Butcher mumbled so you cut one eye at him "What?" He just smirked and got out of bed. He glanced back over his shoulder before stepping into the hall.

-------------

A few minutes later Butcher walked back into the room carrying a plastic bowl and sat it down on the nightstand "How bad do you want to cool down?" Ok that made you curious "Pretty bad but not sell my soul bad" he smirked but this one was one of those that made your stomach flip. "Cmere luv, let me help ya out"

He sat down on the bed and leaned back against the wall before patting between his legs. You worried your bottom lip with your teeth for a second before moving over and getting comfortable with your back against his chest "How's this supposed to help" "Trust me" "Said the devil to Cain"

"Funny" he leaned up to grab something out of the bowl then told you to close your eyes. "I will stab you if you fuck with me Billy" you warned and he chuckled "Love a woman that doesn't mind a little maiming"

----------

You closed your eyes and after a moment felt something cold hit your neck. A light gasp escaped you but as it moved further down your neck with Billy's fingers working to ease the muscles trying to tense from the cold a moan slipped from your lips from the pure relief the cold brought to your heated skin.

"Sounds like you're enjoying yourself so far" he teased and you wiggled closer into his chest "I didn't exactly say stop" "You're fucking bossy" he scoffed before grabbing another ice cube out of the bowl and continuing down your chest. When his large hand cupped your breast, teasing the sensitive mound with the ice, your breathing quickened just a bit.

His mouth was close enough to your ear you could feel his lips brush your skin when he whispered "Want to keep going?" You turned to look at him, your lips brushing lightly against his as you spoke "Please"

He moved the ice to his left hand to free up the right one to grip your chin "I got ya" he spoke right before the ice teased across your other breast, making you arch into his touch "Fuck Butcher" the relief from the heat was beginning to mix with the pleasure from him teasing your now hardened nipple with his fingertips.

He leaned closer and you met his lips halfway. The kiss was tentative, teasing but made you moan lightly when he rolled his tongue against yours. You felt his fingers dip under your panties, the cold sting of the ice prickling goosebumps up onto your skin.

He broke the kiss and you knew from the look he gave you that he was asking for the go ahead so you let your legs fall apart further "Glad this place didn't have air conditioning" he chuckled as his fingers slipped down further.

You walked out of the bathroom the next morning, dressed in a pair of shorts and a tshirt. You were looking for your sneakers and Frenchie because he could do pretty decent dutch braids.

You walked into the kitchen and Hughie cut his eyes up at you over his cup of orange juice as Annie said "How'd you sleep?" You felt like you were missing the joke but you shrugged "As well as I could with the heat" Frenchie laughed from his place at the stove "I'm sure it was hotter with Butcher on top of you"

You felt your cheeks warm as they all started laughing even Kimiko and MM. Just when you thought it couldn't get worse Butcher walked in behind you "Who said I was the one on top?"

[jayhyunglover]

I trusted you and you doomed us all , just for her.

Inspired by Rafayel's lore.

SeaGod Rafayel! × Non mc Reader!

Not proofread . I just wanted to get it out of my chest before it's too late.

Warnings: angst angst angst

It's been 800 years already,  yet I still remember everything clearly like it was yesterday. His endless teasing , his contagious laugh , those amethyst eyes , those purples locks.

I remember everything so clearly,  the pain , the cries, the heartbreak,  the love.

"Slow down you dumb fish" I exclaimed, struggling to keep up with his pace while he swam effortlessly in the deep water.

"Hey it's not my fault if you're slower than a sea cucum- Ouch! What was that for" he masaged his forehead where a wave of water splashed his face.

"You know that's no way to treat your God" he shook his head before crossing his arms over his chest, amethyst eyes filled with mock offense

"I'll start treating you like a God when you start to behave like one" I retorted swimming past him to observe the ruin of the human ship he wanted to show me.

"So bossy Seaweed head" he teased earning a glare from me

"Why did you even take me here for ? Dont you have to get ready for your upcoming ceremony?" I asked with an exasperated sigh running my hand against the hard planes of the ship.

"Oh you know I like to spend time with my favorite follower" he teased, following behind me making my heart beat faster.

He's just toying with your sanity.

"So what is that?" I asked knocking on the wood

"Its a ship" he replied

"An human's invention" I looked at him unimpressed.

Rafayel had a weird fascination with everything related to the surface and those weird creatures called humans.

"You really need to stop frowning all the time you're gonna looks like Gran Galea" he pinched my cheeks making me swat his hands away

"And you need to stop being so interested to the surface." I retorted trying my best to sound stern to someone who's supposed to be the God I worship .

"Let's get going before Galea starts cussing out the Corails because of our late arrival" I said  before starting swimming back to the palace excepting him to follow me but he stayed there gazing up at the water with a longing look ok his face

"Rafayel ?" I called out for him making his pink-blues eyes snap back at me.

"Go ahead I'll join you later" he offered me a small smile but I knew that look, he was planning something .

Not wanting to be even more late than I was already I just shrugged and left

Rafayel could get away with being late but not me unfortunately.

"Y/n finally I've been searching for you everywhere" Gran Galea exclaimed already dragging me in the midst of preparations.

...*...*...*...*...*...*...

It was the event of the century,  one that plagued every Lemurian's mind. The ceremony where Rafayel will officially become a SeaGod

Yes this same Rafayel who annoyed the pearls out of me , this same  Rafayel I threatened to castrate multiple time , this  same Rafayel I fought countless time over the last piece of Lobster . This same Rafayel who teased me endlessly because I couldn't cry Pearls until I cried Rivers of them.

It was hard for me to wrap my head around the fact this purple haired individual was supposed to be our leader.

This same leader I literally threatened to not go to the surface alone because I knew how stubborn he could be.

"Promise me"

"But-" I shot him a dirty  look that made him reliatate "Ok fine" he huffed crossing his arms over his chest "you know you're such a bossy sea cucum-"

"Call me that again and I'll rip your scales off  in your sleep" I threatened making him chuckle and pat my hair affectionately

"Stop" I groaned swatting his hands away

"And a feisty one too" he teased pinching my cheeks making me grumble

All of those were distant , beautiful memories.  Because me and Rafayel never went to the surface together. The ceremony never went to term and he never became officially a SeaGod.

All because of her , This sacrifice.

Why ? I always wondered.  Why did he threw anything away for her? Why did abandoned us , me , our homeland? Leaving behind an ocean of heartache and sorrow

It's been 800 years now . I should have forgotten about it. The pain , the cries, the heartbreak. But it stayed with me. Engrained in my brain , haunting my days and nights.

I lost my people, my homeland,  watched my own blood getting slaughtered and mistreated by those humans , the same kind that fascinated him , the same kind as her . The one he sacrificed everything for.

"Why?" I asked tears streaming down my face that turned into clear, untainted pearls, blade pressed against the pale skin of his neck.

I was met with a deadly silence,  he was not angry or sad just resigned . As if he knew he messed up. He knew the reason of the downfall of Lemuria and I did too . Deep down I knew.

His hand came up to brush a pearl off my cheeks.

"You're still such a crybaby, seaweed head" he murmured, his voice so uncharestically soft, the sound making my heart constrict.

"Tell me" I pressed the blade harder against his skin voice bordering on desperate "why did you abandon us?"

No answer again because he knew I knew why he did this . Because I felt it too.

Love .

Such a dangerous thing for a Lemurian. Something that can make you go unimaginable length. Such as sacrificing an entire Empire and drive a civilization to his downfall.

"Love" I laughed bitterly "I trusted you and you doomed us all, just for her, just for love " my vision was now foggy ,my heart twisting in pain.

Love, such a dangerous thing , even worse when it's not reciprocated,  even worse when the person you loved was ready to sacrifice everything for another,  another that wasnt you , that will never be you because after all he's a God and you are just his follower.

@jinwoosbabyboo @poisonf0rest @yourlocalcatscammer

[queenie-the-court-jester]

HII, saw your post on wanting asks, well here 🫶 I love talking so, and specifically on playboy yandere!! I'm a sucker for angst and yanderes falling into insanity honestly, so let me ramble a bit

- imagine if reader graduates highschool and gets an overseas scholarships!! They also convince their family to move together with them so Kameron can't hurt or use them to blackmail reader. So with only a break up text saying like "bye manwhore 😍😍", blocking and deleting all their social media, I wonder how long and how far would he take to get reader back again? Would he inherit his parent's riches, hire some private investigatiors to find reader and find the country they're living in, expand his business over to their country in order to gain power to trap his darling. And I wonder how deranged his reaction would be to reader's text and be like no way, they're joking right, and runs to their house and whatever usual spots they're at normally, and just break down into insanity. would he try to use substitutes for reader to maintain his sanity or go fully devoid of emotions and start working hard to gain power and influence to find reader again!! I'm also curious how he would process his darling leaving him, would he become delusional first, saying they got kidnapped or something, or some ex or fling of his hurt reader, and then proceed to anger, depression, grief and then finally accept the reality!!

Ok that's a lot of rambling 😭😭 hope it's okay. I rlly enjoyed that fic, was rent FREE in my mind for a whole day

you know luci, you just gave me an idea. So have a part TWO of THIS DUMBASS HOE 🤝

Yandere playboy x reader

Tw: mentions of murder, kameron being delulu, yandere and obsessive behavior

💋kameron was having another breakdown. Sobbing pathetically on the floor of your old bedroom. Just how did you run away? And on such short notice too!? Didn't his love mean anything to you!? WHY DID YOU ABANDON HIM?

💋a million thoughts swirled through his head, until he finally got one that just... stuck. He had to get you back. No matter how long it takes. Getting up and dusting himself off, he kicked the front door open and quickly left the empty house

💋it was a shame really. The once sane and popular boy was struggling to keep his image. So he got help. Not professional as in therapists and medication. Just hiring other students to cover for him Incase he slipped up. all while snooping through the head teachers computer to see if they had any notes on where you might have gone. He almost got caught a few times

"shit that was close.. i can't believe these idiots leave their passwords just anywhere"

💋he knew he shouldn't be back at the school, especially since he graduated but he needs all the information he can get. Eventually moving onto private investigators and online stalking through multiple other accounts. He'd try anything just to see what his darling was doing without him. Were you enjoying making him suffer? You're so cruel..

💋hiring other people to befriend you and lower your guard, gathering any Information they can

💋 kameron who spent a while convincing his parents to let him take hold of the company. He had a degree, a bright mind, responsibility. He's perfect for the job! Oh if only they knew where his 60% was going.. funding multiple businesses across the world in exchange for keeping a careful eye. Making him quite the celebrity

💋look darling! He's on the news-! ...oh right you're not here.. one evening, while working in his office, a new secretary comes in to introduce themselves. They look just like you! He could only stare in shock.

"my love..? Is that you!?"

"..who?"

💋turns out it was just a doppelganger. But with enough time he'd delude himself into thinking it was you. Courting them with the same flowers, chocolates and jewelry he'd given you. It worked like a charm! Now you were back In their arms again. They felt whole..

💋he married your lookalike a year later, the poor fool being too naive and oblivious to think. He was happy for awhile.. or until one of his P.I's came in to show him they found you. His reality started to break.

💋no.. how could he do this to you. Replacing you with some cheap street whore. That night, when they went to bed, he gave them a cup of water and smiled sweetly. Watching as their face went red and they started to cough for air after gulping it down. Clawing at the sheets and staring at him with wide fearful eyes. Begging him to help them

"...slut."

💋 burrying the body in his backyard, he paid people with underground connections to cover for him while he was away. Claiming they suddenly vanished, having run away with a small fortune. How idiotic are people, to actually believe him..

💋kameron disguised himself and went straight for the country you decided to flee too. 5 years apart from you.. he had no idea how he managed to live so long without his beloved, but it was all worth it. Because now you'll be back where you belong. In his arms.

💋you were busy working at your job, running a small business was no joke but atleast the people in the area were friendly. So you didn't notice the suited figure Infront of your cash register

"thank you, please come again-"

💋you froze, looking up at the terrifyingly familiar face. He stared back at you with only glee and love

"hello my darling~ you've been on a naughty streak for a while Haven't you? That's okay, I'll just set you straight when we go back home."

💋big burly men all blocked you from escaping by guarding the doors. Dragging all the other customers out so you both could have your moment. Now you could never leaver leave him. Ever.

[edgeray]

Ray! 🍅 anon here, I said I wasn't going to request but there's one idea I've been really, REALLY itching at.

So you know how you reblogged "cold nights" by beiibeii? Yeah about that... I think I cooked an angst idea of this on a related tangent? (If you choose to write this, ofc)

How about Mother!Reader who is faced with the same scenario of Arle neglecting them to the point that she loses hope in their relationship? Think of the angst when the children constantly remind their Father of important dates but she's away or somehow missing most of them because of work. To the point reader just implies for them to stop trying and accepts the fact that they married Arlecchino but is now simply the Knave's wife? Like even the children can see them losing hope which is why they sometimes lowkey plead with their Father to actually pay more attention to Mother. Mother marrying Father means that Mother is strong but behind their strong facade you can see their sadness! You can feel their loneliness! And their sense of isolation and sorrowful acceptance of their new reality. And Arle does not pick up on the subtle signs until it's Too Late. Like. Reader in the coffin Late.

And as the Knave's wife Reader does need to undertake missions like in "I am Fine in Your Arms" but because reader has lost so much hope in living a wife outside of being the Knave's wife, reader does not make an effort to return alive. The angst of the burial, maybe the children blaming their Father etc. The really young ones aside, I don't think they would be actively angry with their Father, just very, VERY, disappointed. HotH would lose its warmth for a while before Lyney, Lynette and Freminet try their best to build it back (but of course, it never becomes as warm as it used to be)

Whether or not you choose to give this one a happy ending is up to you, but on my end the only happy ending that I cooked up for them is that Arle wakes up in the next Samsara with all these memories of losing Reader and prevents the relationship from going South in the first place. (Bonus points if Reader also has the memories and compares it to how they were treated by Arle previously, makes a comparison, and goes "How I wish this were my Arle" without knowing that it actually IS their Arle, just acknowledging she fucked up BIG time and is now making heavy amends for it. and Arle Knows because of that look that Reader gives her, sorrow and joy in a complex blend.)

...I think by now you can tell that I'm an angst writer too HAHSHHSHA Nobody leaves my fics without getting a knife and I promise it's just for the plot (like we always say).

I've still been keeping up with your writings (Beauty and The Beast actually fits, holy-) (Someone send Siren!Arle a whole farmhouse of ham for her consumption please) and yes I agree that you've been pumping out bangers after bangers. (I mean. Given that, you probably can afford to be a little indulgent? If writing this much quality about your muse doesn't give you the OK to put your hands all over them, abs and all, what does?)

As always, prioritise your sanity and schedule first, stay well rested and hydrated!

Lost Warmth

(Arlecchino x GN! Reader)

A/N -  Link to my momma's (@beiibeiii) piece right here. If I see you read this before reading the masterpiece I just linked, know that I am a very disappointed axolotl. 😔  Anyways, you might be able to tell just how long this has been sitting in my inbox… haha… my bad guys. T^T. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to write more angst. :3 And thank you for the additional comments 🍅 anon. I do have quite a soft spot for siren! arle, seeing that she was my first request (and requested from my momma :3). Wanted this to be a little longer, but I do have to wake up earlier tomorrow, so this is what you get T^T. Hopefully it's still good. Content warnings / info - angst, character death (duh), reader is referred to as ‘Mother’ but is otherwise GN!, 1.4k words

Cold is a feeling you've long gotten used to. Cold is your husband's dismissal of your existence, with every interaction ending with her blunt words and back towards you, leaving you with a crumbling heart. Cold are the long nights as you anxiously wait for Arlecchino's appearance for a candlelit dinner you spent half the day preparing, only for her never to return until you fell to exhaustion on the couch, a flower bouquet that remains unreceived in your hands. Cold is the creeping loneliness in the late hours of the night, when you've finally grown tired of anticipating someone that will never come, and returned to bed alone. Cold is the way you shiver underneath the thickest of blankets, no one's body warmth to sink into, no one's softly whispered words into your ear to drift you to sleep. Cold is when instead of your husband, only dim stars, a bottle of liquor, and the tears that stream your face join you in bed.

When was the last time you had felt warmth? 

You recall when the Knave first started courting you, how gentlemanly she was for such a rumored cruel Harbinger. You were first just a caretaker of the House of the Hearth, this small orphanage which you quickly found to be home for you. You couldn't help but adore the endearing children, watching as you slowly became a staple in this family. Despite your best efforts of hiding it, Arlecchino noticed when you snuck in the occasional pastry or cake from the town's most lavious bakery for the children, out of your own paycheck as well. It was then, your husband admitted, when she first fell for you. It had taken her months of encouragement from her ‘pestering’ children before she asked you out, and it was impossible to not fall for her charm.

How could you not? Not when she held you like you were her world. Not when she viewed you higher than the Tsaritsa herself. Not when her touch was heavenly, her words silky and sweet. When she proposed to you, your heart leapt with levity, and you thought your life was perfect now. A warm house, fitted with warm parents, that was what you had had, you had never felt so content. 

Then came the long nights. Nights when she trudged home later than usual, where she fell asleep without a word but sunk into your arms still. Then she started forgetting, forgetting about the dates and birthdays, and anniversaries more and more. At first, you chalked it up to her demanding Harbinger duties, but as time grew and the excuses started to run out, the perfect life you knew was crumbling. 

You became aware of this two years after your marriage when you had been preparing dinner for the two of you once she arrived home, slow cooking a steak since the early hours of the morning. Just as you exited the kitchen, you heard some children surrounding your husband before she left for another Harbinger meeting, telling her that you had a surprise for her once she came home and how excited you were for her to enjoy a new recipe you created. Your heart swelled with hope and appreciation for your children, especially when Arlecchino promised she would return in time. 

You should have known better.

You ate your tear-ridden steak alone and went to bed, leaving the steak out for her for whenever she returned home. Just like how you fell asleep, you woke up without your husband's presence, and when you arrived at the kitchen, the meat and the note besides the plate were untouched. 

You tried to eat the cold steak for lunch as well. You threw it away at the first bite. That day, you gathered your children, pleading them not to ‘pester’ Father with more reminders, as she was very busy. All that you gained back from the children was pitied expressions, and the agony in your chest worsened. Your children could pity you, but your husband couldn't? Even with your husband's coldness, you still carried out your Mother role, if only for the children. You cannot deny that the children's antics helped you forget the ever-present void inside you, caused by Arlecchino. 

You never learned the reason for Arlecchino's behavior, why she had grown so cold towards you. Now, you suppose, you would never know.  

Red fills your hazy vision as you lay on the ground, your entire body aching and fatigued, desperate gasps for air while your heart pounds in your eardrums. Your side was sliced, and the crimson liquid quickly poured out of the wound while you tried to stop the bleeding, but to no avail. 

This is your end, you think to yourself as you weakly turn on your side, every nerve in your body protesting against the movement. Your bloodied hand comes into view, your engagement and wedding ring gleaming slightly underneath the blood. The rings bring your thoughts to Arlecchino–oh, how you imagine the common disappointment in her otherwise apathetic expression, disappointment at your mission's failure. Your eyes bubbled and blurred with tears, vivid memories of your wedding flashing through your mind. The wedding ring is beautiful, still polished with that bold scarlet, the same color of her eyes, the same eyes you could never stop drowning in.

Would she even know your absence? Would she ever acknowledge you, treat you properly like her partner even if you did return? You doubt it. Did you want to return a cold bed, to a husband that does not love you, to a house no longer warm? 

It's warm. 

Your body feels like fire courses through your veins as you feel inexplicably hot, yet it's a welcomed heat. It's the first time you've felt this, but it feels familiar, comforting, like a hearth, and you want nothing more than to surrender to it. It soothes your heartbeat and calms your breath, easing your body as if you were to sink into the most plush of beds, swallowed by the thickest of blankets. The warmth coils around you, wrapping you like a cozy embrace, evoking you to sleep. Your eyes flutter shutter, a faint smile plastered on your lips.

It feels just like Peruere's arms. 

— 

Arlecchino receives a letter addressed to her on the third day you've been sent on a mission. The contents make her drop the paper, and she rushes outside, without an additional word, leaving the House. 

The children do not see her until she returns late into the night, a body wrapped in cloth in her arms. Arlecchino raised her children to be smart, to be attentive, to be logical. Whose body it is, they realize with little difficulty. 

The children weep that night. Arlecchino does not. How can she, when her source of emotions is gone? 

The burial takes place soon afterwards. As your body is placed into the ground, Arlecchino can feel the weight of her children's stare on her back. The charged tension between her and the children is palpable without words. She cannot discern which of the two reactions cut deeper. The seething fury underneath the oppressive grief for the young ones, having to lose another parent, or the crushing dismay inhabited by the older ones, specifically the twins and Freminet. 

Their thoughts are clear, even when none of them speak out loud. 

How could you fail Mother?

The House of the Hearth no longer suits the orphanage's name, not with your missing presence. There is no warmth, no matter how much the trio tries to fuel a lost flame. Even with Arlecchin's pyro vision, it is futile.

Arlecchino stands before your gravestone, a bouquet of your favorite flowers in her hand, and she rests it beside the other bouquets by your grave. Six bouquets in total, for each day after your burial. 

“For all the flowers, I should have given you, my love,” she whispers as she addresses you, glancing up to the heavens. The last two words make her feel like a fraud, undeserving of calling you hers, when she had clearly never shown so. 

Arlecchino, the Knave, the Fatui Harbinger, does not plead, does not beg, does not kneel. However, her knees drop to her dirt, and she grovels. “Please… wait for me one more time, my dear. Once I meet you again, I promise I'll never leave you alone, I'll never let you out of my arms again.”

There is no reply. 

Arlecchino feels cold. 

[l0sercat]

Ok stay w me on this being spider noirs vision of black cat and your his suspect so he trys to corner you at a bar dance thingy and it’s just the reader teasing him

Ooooo I like how you think 😏 Also I don't know much about Black Cat 😅 I don't know if this is more fem or neutral so I'll tag both but please correct me!

Spider Noir x Black Cat! Reader

Spider Noir was following you the whole night. You were going everywhere it's a wonder how you can just blend in. You went into a bar so he thought it would be perfect to finally corner and catch you.

He made his way into the bar and ignored the stares he got. All he was here for was you, you were the main suspect in a crime he was solving. He needed to question you but you are really hard to catch.

He makes his way through the dancing drunks and saw you at the bar. He sits in the stool next to you and orders whiskey. You glance at him and look away and then looked again to process the fact that Spiderman is next to you. He lifted his mask to where his lips only showed and took a sip.

He glanced at your surprised face morph into a amused one. Your lips curled into a smirk and you placed your chin in your hand. Spider Noir pulls down his mask after finishing his drink and pays. He then fully turned to face you and opened his mouth to speak but you interrupted him.

"So what's a handsome man like you following around a woman like me?" You asked. He stared at you and let out an exasperated sigh. "Where were you the night of December 7 of this year?" He asked. You let out a dramatic gasp "Your not supposed to be in a woman's business y'know? It's quite rude have you never been taught manners?" You said grinning

His eye twitched in annoyance and he persisted on asking questions. But you keep on avoiding them and just flirt with him. "So for our next date how about you take me to a nice restaurant instead of this cheap place I feel like a prostitute" you lean in closer and drop your voice to a whisper "If you really want to know then come with me to my place" You winked and leaned back.

He sighed for the umpteenth time and stood up. "Well if your going to be no help-" he started. Your eyes widened slightly and cut him off and stood up as well. You leaned into his ear and whispered "If you really want to know meet me on the roof" you then exited the building.

He soon followed suit and went on the roof. He saw you there and let out a cough causing you to look at him with a smile. "How romantic of you to take me to a rooftop, what are you gonna do? Have your way with me?" You say and make your way towards him. "Look I came here for information about the murder that happened if you don't have any then we're done here" he backs up and stands straight.

"Aw come on can't we have a little fun first..." You pout and he rolls his eyes "No because I don't have time for it" "Guys are always impatient with foreplay..." You mumble "Fine if you take me on a nice dinner date or maybe even a rooftop date then I'll tell you everything you need to know" you smirk at him. He ponders for a moment and then shakes his head. "I'll take you on one date and then after it your going to tell me everything I need to know" he said glaring "Yes sir" you said and winked at him before leaping off the roof and disappearing into the night. Leaving him to question his sanity and patience.