#TOMORROW ill do laundry
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the allergens r getting me 😔
#TOMORROW ill do laundry#ive been so demotivated bc 1. too ill to go up and down all those stairs and 2. dryer broke so i gtta hang dry and theres not much space#i hv a clothing rack my clothes live on bt id have to move a lot of shit around and once again im so ill#but i believe in myself to figure it out when the time comes#ill put on an audiobook n pull thru. will i do it at the most ideal time tho? no bc the most ideal time was svrl days ago#talkin
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Everyone cheer for me i wrote notes for a chapter of the textbook and i tidied up my desk of papers n hopefully i wont see another beetle . ....
#tomorrow ill do laundry#write notes for the remaining two chapters#monday n tuesday I'll do two chapters Monday two chapters tuesday#xxaso
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you ever think abt what laundry day must be like for these two?
#reanimator#re-animator#herbert west#daniel cain#danbert#mycrumbs#silly domesticity for two guys with literal blood on their hands.#might do a follow up if ill have enough time#^^ i am romanticizing chores i hate doing. two loads of laundry await me tomorrow..........
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Last night I didn't want to brush my teeth but then I thought "Barou would want you to brush your teeth!" Then I brushed my teeth
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ok i booked the train for tomorrow yayyyy i heart the train... okay so im gonna leave the house at 11 to be super duper early for the train and then at the station/on the train i will do assignment stuff. laptop battery is kinda dogshit so i might have to resort to doing html on my phone which Feels Wrong but whatevs. and ill bring a library book for company. and thenn idk actually ill probs have to get food at my transfer point. idk what train stations have. i know some of them have cafes and shit. shrug i can live off of crisps. and thenn my psych appointment and THEN go home and finish my assignment AND THEN THE TOY SHOWWWWWWW you fucks have better be prepared for me to be SOOOO ANNOYING... block the #late late toy show & #llts tags in advance if you dont want your dash to be nuked
#so plans 4 tonight: work more on my assignment until i need to refuel w cup noodle#and then hopefully keep working on assignment until all i gotta do is write my reports and put em in#in an ideal world id get one of em done but im not That optimistic#and then i read a chapter of my book as part of my new hashtag routine#and then i go to bed. wait i need to pack a bag for tomorrow ... can i be arsed to bring all my laundry home...#eh its not that much this week and ill need to bring my backpack for my laptop anyway
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sometimes it’s late at night and you’re cleaning your room and you come across a few old black and white photos of a young girl and you stare at them for a long minute wondering how on earth they got lost in an old Kroger shopping bag with an unopened pack of cigarettes and a receipt dated 2017.
and you look at the girl in the pictures sat on the floor of someone’s home you don’t recognize, smiling and playing with a set of keys and a tiny part of you feels like it recognizes her but you aren’t sure.
and you flip the pictures over hoping to find some sort of annotation that would give you context and all you find is the year 1964 stamped in tiny font along the edge.
and you flip them back over and time stands still as you realize that the recognition you feel is because she looks so much like you once did and next thing you know your hands are sweating and shaking and you have to sit on the floor because you’re crying so hard because it hits you all at once that you’re looking at your mother.
#hey Siri play In Color by Jamey Johnson for me please#music stuff#you should’ve seeeeen it in cooolllloor#Seven.txt#Seven’s Public Diary#normal Sunday night behavior#me? up all night hyperfocused on cleaning out my depression cave to achieve a sense of change and accomplishment -#- and ignoring every other aspect of my life including abandoning time sensitive tasks lest i get distracted and lose all motivation???#more likely than you think!#i’ve been at this since new years and i’m only like. halfway done. Gods help me#like i don’t mean ‘cleaning’ as in doing some light dusting. i mean there’s junk and trash piled 2/3rds of the way to the ceiling#when i call this room my depression/mental illness cave i Mean it#but no longer. i shall finally return this room to an acceptable state for the first time since. uh. 2022? i think?#i found a plastic container of dates buried under some laundry and the sticker says they’re from March of last year lmao#i forgot about those/thought i threw them away. but they were thankfully sealed so well that they hadn’t drawn any bugs#and oddly enough hadn’t even visibly molded/gone bad. but i didn’t open them up for a smell test i just chucked ‘em in my giant trash bag#i’m finding all kinds of shit i forgot i even had which is nice but it’s also distracting me like those pictures did#i’ll have to show them to her and ask her about them tomorrow#and ur probably like ‘u found old pics of a girl that looks like you why didn’t you immediately recognize ur own mom’#and 1. there’s countless pics of countless old relatives around this house that i barely/don’t recognize and never even met#and 2. i’ve barely ever seen any pics of my mom from such a young age so i have no images to reference in my mind#and it just fucked me up bc. i don’t look like her anymore. i only see Him in the mirror. but i Used to look like her. i’m turning into him#and i fucking hate it so much. i don’t like that she looks at me and sees him. great now i feel sick.#anyways thats enough reminiscing i need to get some water and food in me and get back to cleaning. i shan’t rest until i’m satisfied#well. my period + depression combo kinda Did make me rest which is why it’s taken 5 days but still. the horrors persist but so do i#it’s not just for the sense of accomplishment tho. i also need to move the 75gal tank out of the living room thanks to the floor situation#so i’m trying to make room in my room for it since it has the newest & strongest floor. i just need to find a level spot thats big enough#my back is gonna be so fucked after all this cleaning that i’ll have to rest for a fucking week before moving that heavy ass glass box#i hate moving big aquariums it makes me so anxious. and i literally don’t know if i’ll have anyone capable of helping me#so it might not even happen and it’ll just have to sit empty in the living room forever. but Maybe he can/will help me
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I... I'm crying. People are so nice. So fucking nice and kind and lovely. Someone sent me money just now with the message "Get yourself a pizza." I'm literally in tears rn. Thank you, whoever you are. I love you, I love you, I love you. I've barely been out of bed, let alone eating right.
#i havent taken a shower in a week i havent refilled my meds i havent been taking all my meds for over a week just some#my hair is a mess i need to do laundry desperately because im wearing dirty clothes#i have no spoons and everyone gets mad at me when i make dinner or order dinner#tonight im going to take care of myself#ill get a pizza just for me and shower and try to do laundry as well#im gonna be ok#and with all hope my mom will come home tomorrow
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id greatly appreciate if you guys had any asks def going to have time to answer them in a few hours
#having the most fuckass work shift so. i am down for the count tomorrow send me ur asks n shit#dude if i get any tips on top of my normal pay ill be appalled. i have never gotten tips that brought my paycheck above Just Minimum Wage#fuckin. yeah tell someone to go home. its slow :). you can never predict the insane rushes im going to be here until midnight#salty talks#theyre always like oh if less ppl are working you get a bigger chunck of tips. and then they just lower our hourly and pour the tips#in to make up the difference. its tips but boy is it not ‘getting tips’#the thing that keeps me sane is that we stay clocked in for all of closing#anyways for ideas i can def answer askes about:#pokemon loz phantom hourglass loz au shit ph headcanons and post ph stuff warrior cats jjba tf2 stardew valley ocs maybe#arcane elden ring the fact that im reading house of leaves smt iv persona 5 fire emblem animal crossing (new leaf)#just like yknow laundry list of interests rn just dont get personal or whatever if i get tmi i do it on my own terms
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i have less muse than i expected tonight so i'm gonna finish my midnight snack then head to bed. i want to do a lot more and reach out to more people for plotting tomorrow so i will be on later! i don't have much to do tomorrow aside from applying for jobs, driving my wife to work, etc
#💀⋆˙ taylor swift lyric bot. ━━ ( ooc )#i dont have cleaning to do tomorrow aside from laundry so ill be here!#the local petsmart is hiring im super excited#applying for it tomorrow hehe#goodnight all!
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My knee feels better today? It's still feeling jello-y, and stairs make it feel icky and burn slightly, but little to no pain whatsoever! No idea what caused it but I'm more than happy if it solves itself—
#gotta readjust the height of my desk still#but ive resorted all my shelves and made room for more things#ive done laundry for both clothes and bed sheets#not much left to do and then ill have all the room to carry in new desktop tomorrow... rubs hands#sibling will help me carry it. somehow#according to them 30 kg is just as manageable as carrying a child#theyre a preschool teacher so i just have to trust them on that i guess LMAO#silvi talks
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i need to be an adult tomorrow. but today? babey we're wasting away.
#i have. so much to take care of that im putting off to tomorrow. jfjsjgjjd#on my defense the dishes and laundry were bc of water issues and i didn't want to run my machines#especially bc 1 boil advisory#and 2 water pressure issues#but that should be all fixed now so u can do them now#other than that i need to finally make my way to get some more food now that im fairly certain i won't lose power again#and that the storm in the gulf isn't going to come near me#ofc my freezer is still full of my sisters stuff bc she still doesn't have power#but#cest la vie ill just have to wait to get froze shit#i can get regular cold food though#so what's my list... i should MAKE a list actually#ouhhh#shh ac
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I GAVE TO WORK AGAIN TOMORROW😭😭😭😭I HJUST WANNA SLEEP
#its okay its only 10-2 so i can sleep.. kinda.. until 8:30. Much later than usual#agghhgg and then i have dinner to go to tomorrow and go in g to my grammas to do laundry and probably spend nught there qnd then#Nothing sunday i guess. but theb my sister leave monday euuue eue eueueuue#aThey bribed me with free lunch to come in tomo4row. I think ill get a big salad 🤤
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i have doodled a little base for my s/i refs but now idk who to draw
#cat.txt#idek if i want to start tonight tho#im tireddddd#and i have to work tomorrow but i still have to do laundry#maybe ill spin a wheel
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played 8 consecutive hours of elden ring this afternoon/evening and forgot to eat dinner.... 🫠
#oops#well i still have bad cramps and bloating so maybe its for the best. im too tired to eat now#i feel soooo terrible. i dont think its from the gaming tho i was playing to distract myself from feeling terrible in the first place#but no such luck. well its better than spending all day ruminating anyway#i need to do laundry and food shop tomorrow and ill take the day off ER entirely otherwise ill end up playing another 8 hrs 💀#i got my meds today too but im not gonna start them until my period fucking starts and ends bc i cant handle both at once#plus itll be good if i can start them later this week so if it fucks my sleep at least i wont have to go into work multiple days in a row#while exhausted etc. mannn.#i really really hope i sleep better tonight this whole last week its been so disturbed and im so tired :-(#and so saaaaaad. and lonely but not really in a way that being around ppl helps.. i just want a longass hug 💔#ive done so well this week mentally but it takes so much out of me staying on top of it#anyway.. to bed to bed to bed#.diaries
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please let this be an upswing please please please..
#97#have had a couple Good Bipolar Days for a little bit#it hasnt quite concretized into a solid upswing yet#but today i got a bunch of groceries did my dishes and my laundry and threw out all the trash in my room#and it feels like ill be able to do stuff tomorrow probably#i need to find somewhere to go out and people to go out with#bc ik the social isolation makes it so so so much worse#tried today but no one available unfortunately
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just checked my spreadsheet, I'm only 2200 words away from hitting 50k for the month.
can I do it??
#i think maybe...i have a ton of laundry to do#and a birthday dinner#but...maybe#and ill-advised chaos rearranging to do tomorrow#but............MAYBE
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