#THROUGH A GOOGLE SEARCH I FOUND OUT PEOPLE ALREADY KNEW THIS BUT I ALREADY MADE THE POST SOOOOOOOOO

[there-are-many-ways-to-smile]

Hi, I just finished watching Bottoms...

Kaia Jordan Gerber looks a lot like Rachel Bilson

[gredandforgeweatherby]

A Shared Joint

Theo Nott x reader

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, weed consumption, swearing, making out, brooding?reader (it’ll make sense), Google translated Italian

A/N: Italian!Theo always‼️(accent🤩) ((this man is so hot)), not specified what house you are in.

The Slytherin common room was packed to the brim, mostly with slytherin and ravenclaws, though you could spot some Hufflepuffs and the occasion Gryffindor. The lights were low, music blaring through the speakers as students danced, drank, and talked all around you. Every corner of the room seemed to have a couple making out and groping each other, and smoke from cigarettes and joints hung low in the air.

You didn’t want to be at this party. You would’ve much preferred drinking with your friends in one of your dorms as you normally would. Instead your best friend wanted to come to slytherin’s party that night, and you didn’t want her to go alone. So that’s how you found yourself where you were now; sat on the large couch in the center or the room, one arm propped on the arm of the couch, your head resting upon it with an uninterested look etched on your face.

You watched as your friend danced with some kid in your year, both clearly intoxicated. You had taken a couple of shots and had currently been nursing a drink for the last hour and were entirely too sober for this. The room was hot, the amount of people only exasperating that, the pounding in your head had begun to match the pounding of the music, and you were tired. You wanted to leave, but you knew your friend didn’t. She was having the time of her life dancing with… Berkshire? You weren’t sure. All you know was that she had a smile on her face, so you were more than willing to wait out this boring party for her.

It was only a few minutes later, though it felt like another hour had passed, when you felt the couch dip next to you. Your curiosity getting the better of you, you turn your head to the side to be met with Theodore Nott’s profile. He was staring ahead, his eyes low and his mouth straight as usual. He held a drink in one of his hands, and as he leaned his head on the back of the couch, you spotted a joint resting behind his ear. He was dressed as he always was: smart pants paired with a (probably) expensive button up, the first few buttons undone.

You turned your attention back in front of you, your gaze searching for your friend. She was still dancing with the same kid, though now with considerably more groping and tension. At least one of us is enjoying ourselves, you thought. Surveying the room, it seemed the only two people not on their feet were you and Nott, which made you feel a bit out of place. You weren’t able to linger on that feeling for long though.

“At least I know I’m not the only one who’d rather be anywhere else.” Theo broke the silence between you two. His accent made it a bit harder to understand him under the loud music, but you surpassingly managed.

You turned your head to your right, making eye contact as his head was already tilted toward you. You had to admit, Theodore Nott was attractive. More than that, he was hot. His eyes bore into yours, his stare making you feel as if he seeing straight into your soul.

Breaking eye contact, you huffed out a chuckle.

“I’m only here because my friend wanted to come.”

“Ah,” a half smile-half smirk crossed his face, “being a good friend and not leaving her to come on her own I assume?”

You nodded in response.

He turned his head back straight, breathing out a barely audible sigh.

“Only here ‘cause it’s your common room I assume? Can’t really escape these idiots can you?” You turned back to him to once again be met with the side of his face. He didn’t respond right away, which made you think he was ignoring you, before he sighed.

“My friends like to throw these parties. I find it fucking annoying to have to clean up after everyone the next morning. Too much work sai?”

You nodded. “Thats understandable. Merlin knows I wouldn’t want to do that shit.”

Theo chuckled. “That’s exactly what I’m saying bella.”

You raised your eyebrows in response and turned back towards the crowd. Out of your peripheral vision you could see Theo reach behind his ear for the joint. He rolled it in between his fingers for a few seconds before standing. He walked a bit, before stopping a step or two past the arm of the couch and turns his body towards you.

“Would you like to join?”

──────────────────────

Theo guided you out of the common room up a set of stairs out of the dungeons. The two of you were currently at one of the open windows of the castle, you sitting on the ledge and Theo leaning against it. He pulled a lighter from his pocket before handing you the joint.

“Ladies first of course.” He stated, that half smile-half smirk from earlier making another appearance. You huffed out a laugh and took the joint from his fingers, setting it between your lips, as he lit it for you.

You and Theo passed the joint between the two of you in a comfortable silence. For not having too much interaction with him all these years, it wasn’t awkward like one would have thought. This silence that lingered allowed you to observe Theo when he wasn’t paying attention. You had already admitted to yourself he was hot, everyone knew that, but you have never really seen that for yourself. Now, with a nice high, you were finally seeing for yourself that Theodore Nott was hot. Really hot. He took another hit off the joint before looking back to you, luckily giving you enough time to make it seem like you hadn’t been staring.

Theo offered you the joint and you took it, directing your glance upward as you rest your head against the wall, zoning out a bit. While you weren’t paying attention, he took it as a chance to do the same you have been doing seconds prior, unbeknownst to you. He had always thought you were attractive, he had seen you throughout all your years here. Seeing you tonight by yourself looking like you’d rather die than be at that party gave him the perfect opportunity to actually talk to you. He didn’t necessarily fancy you, you were someone who caught his eye several times, but he could definitely see that changing.

You finally zoned back in and could feel Theo’s eyes on you.

“You’re staring.”

He only breathed a small chuckle. “Am I?”

You locked eyes with him. “Yes.”

Theo kept your eye contact, not seeming embarrassed he was caught staring. Pushing off his arms that were on the ledge of the window, he turned his body to face you.

“What a shame,” his gaze flitted downward before meeting your eyes again. “una bella ragazza mi ha sorpreso a fissarlo.”

Though you weren’t quite sure what he said, you had to admit it was hot when he spoke in Italian. With his gaze still meeting yours, he moved again, this time shifting between your legs. Unconsciously, you opened them a bit wider for him. His hand ghosted over your thigh, a feather light touch almost sending shivers down your spine.

“You shouldn’t stare. It is rude after all.” You replied lamely after realizing you hadn’t responded yet. One side of his mouth tilts up in a half smile.

“Scusa.” He muttered, rolling his lips in to wet them. “Didn’t mean to be rude.” He moved his hand up a bit further, making sure you were still okay with the contact.

“If staring at you is rude would kissing you be rude too?” He asked, his eyes boring into your own.

Instead of responding verbally, you moved to put one of your hands on his face, and leaning in to kiss him.

He responded immediately, kissing you back with fervor. The hand on your thigh moved up even further while his other went to your jaw. You moved your other hand through his hair, lightly tugging on the roots. Theo released a light moan in response, his mouth opening enough for your tongue to slip inside. You scooted closer to him, most of your body hanging off the ledge of the window. Theo moved his hand up under your dress as his hand on your jaw pulled you closer. The two of you were breathing heavy, the kiss igniting a hunger for the other neither of you realized you had. The two of you continued to kiss until a distant bang caught your attention. Jumping away from him, you realized the bang came from the dungeons, and that someone had come out of the common room. Theo tired to chase your lips, using the hand on your jaw to try and pull you back to him when you heard someone quietly call your name.

“Shit,” you sighed. The only person at the party that would’ve been looking for you was your best friend, you could tell it was her the closer she got to you and Theo.

Theo lowered his hand from your jaw, letting it fall to your waist before moving away so you could get down.

“I guess you have to go.” He asked, though they way he said it made it seem like a statement.

“If she’s looking for me it probably means she’s ready to go, so.”

You finally got off the window ledge, Theo’s hands on your waist as you did. Before going back down to the dungeon, you turned to him. One hand on the back of his neck, you drew him into a quick kiss.

“We should continue tho sometime.” You mumbled against his lips.

“Anytime you want.” He nodded.

You gave him a small smile before slipping your hand off your next and bidding him goodbye.

“Ciao bella.” He called to you before you were out of earshot.

You turned back around, winking at him before disappearing down the stairs.

─────────────────────

I’m thinking of making a smutty part 2, so let me know if you would like that. Enjoy xx!

[deadandphilgames]

A note from Daniel (new epilogue from You Will Get Through This Night)

Thank you for reading This Night. Writing this book in 2021, while sitting locked down in a lightless basement apartment for months, had a certain self-fulfilling irony that was not lost on me.

In many ways, I wrote this book for not only my past self that I wish could have known these things when I needed them most - but for the guy sitting in an incredibly uncomfortable, hunched, t-rex-esque position typing, that needed it right then. Like many of you, I thought those particularly fun couple of years were a temporary inconvenience, that I wouldn't have to age the book by diving into. And here we are. I hope you enjoyed that new chapter about resilience and whatever the hell a 'polycrisis' is. Turns out certain global events do have an additional effect on our mental health - it's understandable that you may try to power through it and pretend it never happened, but we all deserve to take whatever time we need to honestly process how life makes us feel. I hope you're doing alright. My journey of reflecting honestly on my own life experiences and lifestyle while writing was …like spontaneously punching yourself in the stomach. "Wow. I really live like this? That is apparently not conducive to a healthy mind. Oops. Guess I'll go touch some grass." I'm happy if that made this a more entertaining read occasionally.

Even now, I find myself continually re-reading the book in those small moments of first emotional reaction to situations where I now at least think "Wait - what was I supposed to do here? Right. Not catastrophise." If this is you - that is fine. You are not expected to perfectly memorise this book or retain all knowledge you hear in life. I know I don't. If you're ever sat next to me in the emergency exit aisle of a plane, know that you may be required to physically throw me out of the door in order to inflate the slide because I was busy during the briefing, imagining how my life would have been different if I actually had the nerve to dye my hair black that time in school. I am at peace with that.

It was honestly terrifying for me to try and mine the content of my life to try and actually illustrate advice for people that may really need it …for me to honestly look at the balance between joking about my mental health, and really getting real. Hey - if your attempt at opening up via some humour comes out a bit offensive, you still get points for at least putting it on the table. That's progress.

This is not a book about me. I am here just as an example of terrible behaviour that you have permission to have an inappropriate public transport snort at, and as a writer who has repeatedly not finished traditional 'self-help' or scientific study books for being dry, unrelatable and preachy. I just hope you found this moist, identifiable and accepting of all of your beautiful flaws. So many flaws. I often worried if any of the material was maybe obvious, or something you could stumble across on the second page of Google - then I had a small moment of honesty with myself contemplating my own ignorance, commitment to procrastination, attention span …and the fact that factually just 0.63% of all people searching online, ever bother clicking to the second page of results. If you already knew some of this, good for you. Honestly. You must literally be happy with yourself. I'm just looking in the mirror and trying to do something for the 99.37% of humanity that spend their lives never successfully researching how to not lay awake at night fantasising about their doom. Look forward to the upcoming pocket size book of 'offensively self-destructive jokes' by Dan - or 700-page memoir of my yet un-girthy, mostly unremarkable life so far if that's what you're really looking for.

Perhaps the most terrifying result of releasing this book into the world, has been coming face to face with those of you that have read it. For in these moments, all of my protective self-deprecating persona comes crashing down in an instant when someone says this book made them feel better. Hearing that this book was the first time they finished anything tangentially related to self-improvement, or that just one thing they read was a new perspective on a part of their life they needed, makes me feel my mission in life is already complete. Seeing it be recommended by bookstores amongst all the other choices, hearing that people have shared it with their therapists or had it suggested to them by a professional, is an unbelievable seal of approval that I appreciate. I am so inarticulably grateful to have been given the opportunity to do anything that could make your life easier, more peaceful, more enjoyable. I've met people who annotated this book with post-its, told me they listen to audiobook exercises on their commute - and even a few people that have had illustrations tattooed onto them as a symbolic reminder of a message.

All of this puts that year of typing like some kind of infinite monkey at a typewriter into perspective. I'd do it all again. Mostly. It has been the greatest privilege of my life to be the guy whose name is printed on this book, and I just hope that reading it helped you, as much as writing it helped me.

Love and good luck.

- Dan

[ohsayit]

Zevlor the Stubborn Cow

I wanted to write some AA, but my brain wouldn't shut up about Zevlor. I am sorry, but, here, take this [hands out a fresh load of gibberish]

My brain has been thinking about him breaking(losing?) his oath and how does that work in DnD. As per usual, a quick Google will give me a mixed result of pre 5E, 5E, and BG3 world. So I am going to do my pick-and-choose.

Again, it's related to Act 2 spoilers. Feel free to take a look at the video or my other gibberish post.

I don't have any save close to Last Light, so I youtube searched for the conversation with tieflings there. I found two conversation with the same scout. This one is before rescuing Zevlor. This one is after the player rescued him.

From the outside, to Zevlor's fellow exiles, he looked like he froze and then broke. They wouldn't forgive him for breaking that image of "Commander Zevlor". They also wouldn't forgive him for leading them to death (which imo is hardly his fault).

I have been digging at the FR wiki. I looked up Hellrider, Helm, Ilmater, paladin, and oathbreaker. This round of digging (plus the pick and choose) give me some painful hc's.

Despite we as player can just "choose" what class to play as, paladin isn't as common as we may feel like.

First HC at this point: Zevlor wanted to do good from a young age. He looked up at Hellriders and dreamed to enlist. He made it. Through sweat and blood, he climbed up to the position of Commander. Hard to say how religious he is, but he adhered to his oath at least till Avernus. I believe the patron deity was Helm: the god of guardians and protectors. Which this says the nature of Zevlor's character: he lives to protect.

According to wiki, paladins are not that common because their religious nature. They require a patron deity, an oath, and devine favour. Gods favour those think and act like them. Gods favour those who are exceptional to be their champion. Zevlor was just that good.

So here is my second HC: the things he lost and his feeling of lost is unfathomable. He that lost his people in Avernus, his home where he belonged to, his pride as a Hellrider (it was stripped off him), and the devine favour of power (my HC is he lost it around the time when Elturel came back to the Material Plane. Latest by the time he was exiled). He lost "Zevlor".

If there are other tiefling paladins, they probably feel him. If someone is close to him but not a paladin, they maybe can sympathis but won't understand fully the impact. The others? Best bet they pity him. A more realistic guess is: they only see the Commander. Civilians and Riders alike.

Hence, the scout in the video wouldn't forgive him. Zevlor did too much for these people. He did too well in holding himself up and deliver. None of them knew their "commander" was already broken.

Now, imagine when he was first told to leave. All the tieflings were told to go at the same time. Given his oath was already broken and he was no longer a Hellrider (officially/bureaucraticly speaking), those civilians were no longer his responsibility.

He led them from Eltruel through the whatever danger and reached the Grove. These people were a burden, in a sense. These people couldn't fight and they even had children with them. It couldn't be easier if he only took his fellow with him.

When the Absolute tempted/enthrall him, from the description, the situation intrigued me. Out of all those people, the Absolute only spoke to Zevlor. This say to me Zevlor is still worthy, out of this whole bunch of scrambled together refugee. The Absolute read his mind and used it against himself.

Also, they were being ambushed. They were most likely outnumbered. If surrender could save a few lives, he would definitely consider it. But of course that didn't work out. So people hated him guts for it. Being ambushed wasn't his fault. However, people took "failed to preserve lives and repell enemy" as his fault.

One more thing was, none of them knew what they were against. They knew nothing about the Brain. In Zevlor's dialogue in Act 2, he referred to the Brain as "their false god". Gods in DnD world is a real thing. They mistakened it for that.

"Whatever these monsters twisted us into, I believe it begins in us. I won't make excuses. I can't make amends."

Yes it begins in you because it literally read your bloody mind. It doesn't only whisper into your head, it alters your perception as well. When the player first crash landed on the beach, that one stranded squid showed us that. The player felt "compassion". It was from the squid. Nothing "begin in us".

Yet, Zevlor had no idea what he was against so he took it as all his own fault. Uugggghhhhhh babe!!!!!!

He said he wasn't strong enough. As if he could have faugh it off. No. Nobody could. Without Orpheus, the player would transform way before Act 3. No one can out brain a literal brain.

The sad thing is, nobody knew that. Not even the player character, at that point in the game.

So they abandoned him. The people he protected with his own live, abandoned him a second time. This time, his fellow Riders abandoned him too.

Fast forward to the epilogue. He sent a letter say he regained power and didn't even know what oath was.

Here is my last HC for this post. I think he sworn on the Oath of Devotion. It was Ilmater who granted him power.

Wiki says: deity of endurance, martyrdom, perseverance, and suffering. The Crying God was the patron of the suffering, oppressed, and persecuted, and the One Who Endures encouraged them to endure and encouraged others to help them by taking their burdens or places.

Had Zevlor not suffered enough? Yet, when he saw the tantecles sprouted in city, what did he felt? "No fear. Only Anger. Disgust. Purpose - and with it, power." After all this shit he had been through, the stubborn cow still wanted to protect. I think this is why Ilmater chose him.

Don't get me wrong, he is far from a flawless saint. This is juat a part of him that I see. A stubborn cow. I want kiss and bite our precious old man. Pinch his face so hard and then kiss him better. [Insert aggressive borking]

Note: I finished the post in haste. Will edit later for typos and put links back in for wikis I digged for this round. I want this post out of my system so I can write some bloody AA ffs.

Edit: Put links back in lol

[jerzwriter]

Thank you to the brilliant anon who sent this ask from this list! Pairing one Trystan Thorne with one Tobias Carrick may be the most inspired idea in the history of ideas! Since this is before they met their perspective C's (as you put it! lol) I swear this should be my canon. I've wanted to do a Trystan x Carolina end up in Edenbrook's ER when Tobias x Casey are on duty forever - and this would make it even better! I am LOVING that idea!!!! Thanks so much for the ask!

Books: Crimes of Passion/Open Heart Crossover Pairing: Trystan Thorne x Tobias Carrick Rating: Teen Words: 1,032 Summary: It must have been a wild party... because when Trystan and Tobias woke up in the same bed... neither had any idea how they got there. Can they figure it out? A/N: This fic takes place approximately 2 years before the start of Open Heart Book 1. Participating in @choicesjunechallenge2024 - June (for Pride month) and "In or Out?" The original prompt was for scenario number 12 from this list by @creativepromptsforwriting

There’s something about the morning sun that commands respect. Its power is undeniable, rousing people from slumber, no matter how much the prior evening’s choices have them desiring a full day spent in bed.

That’s where Tobias Carrick found himself... cursing the morning sun that blazed through the floor-to-ceiling windows. His eyes had barely opened when he felt the pounding in his head. The throbbing pain would typically be unwelcome, but today, it brought a clarity he desperately needed.

He knew his head was pounding—of that was certain. But as for everything else—where he was, what he did—he had no recollection. When he felt someone stirring in the bed behind him, his eyes jolted open wide. Another mystery unsolved... who was he with?

An audible groan filled the air—one that didn’t belong to him - and Tobias’s eyes darted around the well-appointed bedroom, desperately seeking anything that might jog his memory. Something that would make the upcoming conversation a little less awkward, but there was nothing. Not a single memory was stirred and he wondered, just how much did he have to drink?

Conceding that discomfort was inevitable, Tobias decided to bite the bullet. Ignoring the queasiness rising within him, he sat up and turned to his side, finding an incredibly handsome—if somewhat worse for wear—man seated on the edge of the bed. Even with long locks obscuring most of his face, it was clear this specimen was genetically blessed. And his torso indicated countless trips to the gym made up for whatever genetics may have denied him, only adding to his allure.

“Hey,” Tobias said with a graveled voice, causing the stranger to jump. “Sorry... didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s all right,” the man replied with a foreign accent Tobias tried to place. “I was just hoping you’d stay asleep a little longer.”

“Really?” Tobias replied. “Why’s that?”

The man turned with a sheepish grin and a delicate blush creeping onto his cheeks as his hazel eyes met Tobias's aqua-blue ones. “I was hoping you’d stay asleep so I could try to remember who you were.... perhaps take a photo to do a Google search.”

Tobias erupted into his trademark raucous laughter, only to halt when he realized it was causing immense pain—not only to himself but to his handsome bedmate as well.

“Would it be disappointing if I told you I was glad to hear that?” He replied with a slight grimace.

“Really?” The stranger responded with a raised brow. “And why is that?”

“Because I'm still trying to figure out who you are,” Tobias chuckled. He extended his hand with a disarming grin. “Tobias, Tobias Carrick. And you are?”

“Trystan,” the man replied with relief. “Trystan Thorne. It’s lovely to... uh... meet you?”

“So, Trystan, do you know where we are? Because if you do, you’re already one up on me.”

Trystan squinted as he looked around. “We’re at my place,” he confirmed. “Although... this is the guestroom.”

Tobias appeared shocked, given the size and opulence of the quarters. “Damn! If this is the spare room, what does your bedroom look like?"

Trystan peeked out from under his bangs with a sly grin. “Do you expect an invitation?”

Tobias barked out a laugh. It was rare for him to meet anyone he considered a match in the art of flirtation, and he was impressed.

“Slow down there, big boy! First, I’d just like to figure out how I got into this bedroom... we can take the rest from there.”

“I don't quite recall," Trystan chuckled. "I think I'll need a heavy dose of caffeine before I figure that out... but the last thing I remember was being at the Pride parade...”

“New York!” Tobias snapped his fingers. “I'm visiting New York for the weekend.”

“Wow,” Trystan astounded, “You hadn’t even remembered that much?”

“Hey, I’m just waking up!” Tobias assured. “Pride parade... pride parade...” he mumbled. “I remember. After I went to Marie’s Crisis to get a drink...”

“Yes! I was there... and I told everyone I was hosting a post-Pride party at my place.”

“Ah!” Tobias realized. “That explains how I ended up here. Well, at your apartment, that is not necessarily how I would up in your guest bed with you.”

“I’m not sure either,” Trystan continued. “I’ve never slept in this room. The only reason I can think of would be...” he stopped with a gasp, his eyes filled with horror. “Oh, no!”

“What?” Tobias asked anxiously.

“I was absolutely done for the night... too much partying, too much drink... I told the butler to oversee things until all the guests had left. I needed to retire for the evening.”

“And?”

“I stumbled to my room and opened the door to find my sister, Astrid, and her latest girlfriend in flagrante delicto...in my bed!” Trystan winced. “I’m going to have to purchase a new mattress!”

“Or, you could just wash the sheets,” Tobias laughed.

“You, sir, have never met my sister, Astrid, or you’d understand. The sheets will be dissolved in acid, and a new mattress is a must.”

“Damn. I’m not sure if I should be impressed with or scared of your sister,” he smirked.

“Perhaps a little of both. Anyway, I was so intoxicated even that horror didn’t fully rouse me, so I stumbled to this room and found you snoring.”

Tobias was appalled. "Hey! I don’t snore!”

Trystan found that endearing and immediately decided to let him off the hook.

“To be honest, I was in no condition to be a reliable witness. You may well be right. I tried to wake you... but you were out cold... wouldn’t budge an inch. So I pushed you to the side, put a blanket over us, and passed out myself.”

“So... we didn’t...”

“Since our pants are still on, I’m pretty sure we didn’t.”

“There’s no pretty sure here,” Tobias said with a cocky grin. “If we had... you would have remembered. Trust me.”

Trystan shook his head with a smile. “I’m afraid we’re going to have to exit this room at once. Your ego appears to be at least as enormous as mine, and having them both in a room of this size must be a fire hazard, according to the NYPD."

Tobias threw his legs over the side of the bed, recovering his shirt from the floor as Trystan carefully surveyed the sculpted contours of his unexpected guest's back, chest, and arms. Would it be wrong to ask him to remove the shirt again?

"So," he cleared his throat. "I'd normally offer to make breakfast, but I have no idea what condition I'll find this place in. But there is a lovely cafe down the street, they do a lovely brunch on Sundays - would you care to join me?"

Tobias leaned over the bed with a playful smirk. "Trystan, are you asking me out on a date?"

The normally unflappable prince appeared flustered, words hard to come by. "I'm asking you to brunch," he finally grinned. "And perhaps to Macy's to mattress shop once I'm assured Astrid has vacated the premises. Are you in or out?"

"You had me at Brunch," Tobias chuckled. "But throw in mattress shopping, and how can I say no."

"Good," Trystan grinned. "I think we're at the start of a memorable day."

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Tagging others separately.

[fallingblueroses]

Part 10 of the Panic! story. I told myself this would be the last part. Apparently I was lying; there will be at least one more. The rest of the story can be found here:

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

I did a little Googling to find out what the charges and possible sentences would be. Right after that I Googled "when was the can opener invented". My search history is a little interesting.

***

Kathy sighed in fatigue as she laid on the hotel room bed. It was the day after Tony's visit and Geoff had been released from the hospital that morning. Fortunately Kathy had thought to pack some clothes for him so she'd been spared from having to go shopping for some before starting the long drive home. Geoff still couldn't hear, and she couldn't text while driving, so they hadn't talked much on the way. He'd either looked out the window or slept for most of the drive.

They'd gotten some fast food just before finding the motel, and after eating Geoff had wanted to take a shower. He'd been in there a while, but she remembered this was his first shower in nearly a week. It probably felt wonderful, and she was looking forward to a hot shower herself.

She was nearly asleep when the bathroom door opened and he came out already dressed for bed. He smiled as their eyes met. "Shower's all yours."

She nodded and gathered what she'd need, then walked into the bathroom. She was too tired for anything more than a quick shower, but it felt good to clean up. When she walked back into the main room Geoff was already fast asleep curled up on his side. A fond smile crossed her face as she watched him for a few seconds, then she went to the other side of the bed and climbed under the covers, set an alarm on her phone, and then snuggled up to Geoff and held him close.

For the first time in days, she felt like she could breathe. Surely by tomorrow evening, or at least the day after that, they'd be home. She knew Geoff was eager to see William again. They'd pick him up from Geoff's parents and she'd have her family safe and sound in their own home again.

It wasn't something she'd take for granted again.

She closed her eyes and rested her head against Geoff's back. It wasn't long before she was sound asleep.

***

Tony sat in the truck outside of the police station in Orlando. He had to wonder at how he was feeling as he got out and walked toward the doors. He thought he'd be scared when this moment came, but instead he felt this overwhelming relief. As if he'd been carrying a thousand pounds on his back and could finally set it down.

He went through the double doors and waited in line to see the officer at the front desk, who greeted him with a bored expression. "May I help you?"

"Yes." The words came easily. "My name is Tony Wakim. You probably have a warrant for my arrest."

***

Layne was sitting on his living room couch with Cyndi's head in his lap as they watched some made-for-TV movie that Layne wasn't really paying attention to. It had been a long day of calling people and rescheduling, and Layne for one was tired. The girls were in bed, and he knew he'd have to sleep soon, but he wanted this quiet time with Cyndi...

His phone went off. He bit back a sigh as he pulled it out of his pocket. "Hello?"

"Good evening. This is Officer Stilton with the Orlando Police Department. Is this Layne Stein?"

His heartbeat picked up. "Yes. It is." Cyndi looked up at him when she heard his voice.

"Mr. Stein, I'm calling to let you know that Tony Wakim is in custody."

A dull shock went through him. "...He is?"

"Yes. He turned himself in a few hours ago." A pause. "I was going to call your friends who were involved, unless you'd like to tell them yourself?"

"I'll tell them." His heart was pounding thickly in his chest. He hadn't actually believed Tony would go through with it. He'd honestly thought that Tony would turn tail and run at the last second. "Thank you for calling."

"You're welcome. Have a good evening, Mr. Stein."

"You too." He hung up and stared ahead for a few seconds trying to gather his thoughts.

"Layne? Honey?"

He looked down at his worried wife. "Tony turned himself in." He wasn't sure how to feel. There was relief there, but a sadness was starting to creep in. It had been easy enough to rage at Tony when he was running. I should be celebrating. Why aren't I?

She touched his cheek. "Are you all right?"

"I don't know." He swallowed.

She sat up and hugged him. He leaned into her gratefully as she rubbed his back in reassurance. After a few seconds he pulled back and picked up his phone to text VoicePlay.

***

Kathy jumped when her phone alarm went off. She checked in disbelief as Geoff moved beside her, but it was indeed seven in the morning. She'd slept the entire night through without so much as dreaming, and she felt as if she could have slept another twelve hours.

She forced herself to sit up and stretched her back out. They had to check out by ten, which gave them plenty of time. They'd stop for breakfast on the way. Her eyes fell on Geoff, and she smiled to see he'd tucked his head under the pillow when her alarm had gone off. She was about to shake him when she realized what that meant.

She gently lifted the pillow. "Geoff?"

He groaned. "Okay, okay. I'm awake." He rolled over and looked at her with sleepy eyes.

Kathy smiled at him. "Good morning."

"Good morning." He smiled back, then blinked. "Wait. I heard that."

Her smile widened and she squeezed his hand. "Is it all the way back like normal?"

Geoff shook his head. "It's like I'm underwater." He laughed softly. "Feels weird to hear myself like this."

Kathy laughed a little and laid down for a hug. "Now you can keep me company while I'm driving."

His arms wrapped around her. "I want to listen to music too."

"Anything you want." She rested her head on his shoulder. They'd have to be careful not to fall asleep, but they could hold each other for a few minutes.

***

Tony looked up at the lawyer he'd been assigned came into the room. The room itself was straight out of a cop show--bare white walls, a table and a few chairs. The lawyer wasn't much less stereotypical--dark-haired, clean-shaven, in a suit and carrying a briefcase. He was young, and there was a sharp look in his eyes Tony didn't like.

"Mr. Wakim?" The lawyer held out his hand, and Tony reached out with his cuffed hands to shake it. "My name's Thomas Landon. I'm the public defender that's been assigned to your case." Tony nodded. "I understand you gave the police a full confession last night?"

"I did."

"You shouldn't have done that. But maybe we can make a case for them getting it unethically. Did they make any threats?"

Tony blinked. What the... "No. No threats."

"Hmm. Well, I'm sure there's something I can work with."

"Wait...I think there's been a misunderstanding," Tony said. "I'm not wanting to fight this."

Landon blinked at him. "Mr. Wakim, you've been charged with five counts of attempted murder, five counts of felony kidnapping, two counts of third-degree grand theft auto and one count of third-degree felony destruction of property. Do you understand that?"

"Yes, I do." Tony nodded.

"The attempted murder charges alone come with sentences of either life in prison or the death penalty. Do you realize that?"

Tony took a breath. "I do. Do you realize who I attacked?"

"Some singing group."

The attorney's indifference grated on Tony's nerves. "They were my friends, Mr. Landon. I nearly killed them. I deserve whatever happens."

Landon's face lit up. "Remorse. Good. Keep that attitude up."

Tony's mouth dropped. "Are you even listening to me? I want to plead guilty! I promised Geoff I wouldn't make them go to court!"

"Well Geoff is just going to have to understand, Mr. Wakim. My job is to make sure you get the best deal possible. You just leave everything to me."

Tony stared at Landon as his hopes for a quick resolution were dashed. They would go to court. VoicePlay was going to be dragged onto the stand and made to relive everything while Landon tore them to shreds. Guys. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...

Landon picked up his briefcase. "Everything's under control, Mr. Wakim. I'll look over everything and see you again in a few days."

Great. Tony sighed. "Thanks."

***

Two weeks later

Geoff, Layne, Eli, J, and Earl sat in awkward silence in the waiting room at the State Attorney's office. They exchanged glances or fidgeted nervously as they waited. All any of them had been told was that the State Attorney wanted to talk to them about the case against Tony.

Life had almost begun to feel normal again. PattyCake Productions was almost fully back up and running, although at somewhat of a reduced pace. The question of what to do with Tony's share of the business was still looming. VoicePlay was on hold until everything was settled, although they had made some vague plans for future videos. Geoff's hearing was about halfway back, allowing him to arrange music again, but he hadn't made a lot of progress. He just didn't have it in him right now.

They were called back into a book-lined office. The attorney was a man named Wilson, a large man with salt and pepper hair and an expensive suit, sitting behind a desk large enough to accomodate a family of ten at dinner. He looked up as they filed in. "Good morning, gentlemen. Please be seated." They sat down, and Wilson folded his hands as he looked at them. "I understand that none of you want to be here, so we'll make this as quick as we can." Eli and J nodded back at him as he went on. "Mr. Wakim's attorney is pushing to get all charges dismissed."

"What?!" Earl barked. The others echoed similar sentiments. Geoff looked down at the floor as a sour feeling built up in his stomach.

Eli's voice shook. "How is that even possible?"

Wilson held up a hand. "There's evidence that Mr. Wakim was not of sound mind when he committed the crimes against you. Also--"

"What evidence?" J asked. "That letter he wrote Geoff?"

"Mr. Wakim's lawyer has submitted evidence that he suffered a traumatic brain injury that he was self-medicating for using a drug called Prism. It's a fairly new hallucinogenic street drug, and by Mr. Wakim's statement he bought the Prism after he was denied prescription painkillers. His lawyer is going to paint him as a victim of the failure of American health care system and the war on opioids." Wilson sighed. "If this case gets into the court of public opinion there's likely going to be a high level of sympathy for Mr. Wakim. The judge may dismiss the charges to avoid a public backlash."

"Oh, my God." J's voice simmered with anger. "So he gets away with it? He...he tried to kill us and because he bumped his head he's going to get away with it?!"

"Not necessarily," Wilson said. "The judge may reject that argument. The next step Mr. Wakim's lawyer would take is to make a plea bargain."

"What kind of bargain?" Layne asked.

"He's wanting the attempted murder and kidnapping charges dismissed. In exchange Mr. Wakim would plead guilty to two counts of third-degree grand theft auto and one count of third-degree felony destruction of property."

"That's almost as bad," J snapped.

Wilson held up a hand. "He would also be fined five thousand dollars for each count and ordered to pay restitution to all of you for your medical expenses incurred."

"How much jail time would that be?" Layne asked.

"He could get up to five years in jail for each count."

"Up to," J said.

"And if we don't accept the plea deal?" Eli asked.

"Unfortunately, the final decision isn't yours to make. It's up to the judge. But if the plea deal is rejected, then we go to court on all charges. In that case Wakim is facing the death penalty on the attempted murder charges and life in prison on the kidnapping charges. And in that case Mr. Stein and Mr. Castellucci are going to be the main witnesses since they actually saw Mr. Wakim." Wilson sighed. "I've argued in court against Mr. Wakim's attorney before. He's young and ambitious and determined to make a name for himself. If he can get the charges dropped it'll go a long way towards doing that."

There was silence, and Geoff was the one to break it. "What do we need to do now?"

"The pre-trial hearing is in two weeks. I suggest you all prepare statements, keep quiet on social media, and prepare yourselves and your families for the possible outcomes." He stood. "If anything changes our office will inform you."

They stood and shook Wilson's hand in turn before leaving the office. Earl's fists were clenched and his eyes were watering with anger. J, Eli, and Layne looked similarily upset. Geoff felt nauseous as he thought about the upcoming hearing. Prepare a statement? What was he supposed to say?

J exploded after they got to the parking lot. "I don't believe it. I don't. Fucking. Believe it." He slapped his fist against his palm. "He almost blows us up, leaves us to starve, drags Geoff halfway across the country, tries to destroy Layne's business, and if some hotshot lawyer gets a judge to feel sorry for him he's going to get off?"

Eli's arms were crossed and his face red. "His lawyer's doing his job. We have to help Wilson do his."

Geoff rubbed his temples. "Can we...can we all just take a breath and calm down? We can talk about everything later."

Eli sighed deeply. "Geoff's right. We need...we need to think about how to do this. Maybe we can get together in the group chat later."

Silence fell, and after a few seconds Layne sighed. "I need to get back to PattyCake. I'll talk with you guys later."

They murmured good-byes as Layne walked off with his head down. It wasn't long before they all went back to their cars. Geoff got in his van and sat for a long time before starting it. He wished he could be angry at all this like Earl and J were. It would be better than this anxiety that was chilling him and kicking him in the stomach.

Geoff started the van and drove home. Once he was home Kathy went to PattyCake to help Layne, leaving Geoff alone with his thoughts as he took care of William.

***

Layne excused himself to go to bed even before the girls that night. His mind was whirling and he needed some quiet. For a long time he just lay on his bed, fully dressed, staring at the ceiling while his mind drifted.

A sigh escaped him when his phone went off; somehow he wasn't surprised it was Geoff calling. "Hey Geoff."

"Hi Layne." Geoff sounded as tired as Layne felt. "You doing okay?"

"Yeah. Just laying here thinking about things."

Geoff chuckled. "I'm rocking William to sleep, but yeah. I've been thinking too." A pause. "It's been hard to let the little guy out of my sight lately."

"I know the feeling. Believe me." He had a feeling he already knew, but he asked anyway. "What's on your mind?"

"The meeting with the lawyer today." Geoff paused again, and Layne waited. "What do you think about what all he said? About how Tony might get off?"

"I don't know," Layne said honestly.

"Neither do I. I don't blame the guys for being pissed. I wish I could be pissed off too. But...I just feel sick. Scared. Like..."

"Like?" Layne asked when his voice trailed off.

"Like I'm grieving. Like Tony died and I'm in mourning."

Layne nodded to himself. "I get it, Geoff. It was easy to hate him when he was running. When I could picture him as this...this demon in Tony's body. But now..." Now they had to face him. Face the fact that it was their friend who had done all that.

"Yeah." Geoff's voice was thick. "I don't know how I'm going to hold up when we go to court."

"We'll be okay, Geoff. We'll have to be."

"Yeah." There was a long pause, then Geoff said "I guess there's nothing to do now but push through it."

"Yeah." Layne wiped his damp eyes. "We've gotten through so far. It's almost over."

Another pause. "I'll let you go. See you at PattyCake tomorrow."

"See you. Good night, Geoff."

"'Night, Layne." Geoff hung up, and Layne resumed staring at the ceiling, his emotions churning in his stomach.

[wings-of-ink]

I also want to start and IF, im already a writer on wattpad and I want to expand my horizons but I have absolutely no clue about coding and stuff

Is it difficult to code?

That is awesome and wonderful! I highly encourage you to take the plunge and try it out. I would not say coding is difficult, but it's not exactly easy either. You're literally learning a new language depending on how deep into it you go. For me, the way I did it was to learn, say, basic phrases ("Where is your bathroom," or "I'd like a glass of water") and grammar for this language. I'm not fluent, but I'm getting by. You don't have to have it mastered before you start.

For a long-winded breakdown, see below!

I knew absolutely zero code when I started this out. I just knew I wanted to do it so badly. There are good resources online to help you as well, especially questions on forums because we are not the only newbies in this with questions. I find the Twine cookbook thing to be a bit of a nightmare to understand, lol. I am more a type of person that needs to see something in action or do something to truly get it. I cannot just read something and understand it at all.

Two things I did that helped me a lot was to start a Twine project and enter all the code I learned into it and I also started a story to test it all out. I made notes to myself in these to remind me of what they do and how they work as well. I still have those and use them when I learn new things or if I find a new macro that I want to use.

If the Twine documents don't work for you, do a simple internet search for what you need. I started to learn the Harlowe code first, and I honestly found that more difficult than Sugarcube. As a side note, when I started this, I didn't even know that there were multiple languages that Twine could use! When you find a guide or a forum post that is useful, save it! Copy/Paste it or bookmark it. Put the code in Twine and test it right away. You'll find that it all starts making more sense to see it in action.

I can't tell you how many times I've Googled "Twine Sugarcube *insert code issue or desired outcome.*"

I also recommend finding a free coding class just to familiarize yourself with the basic function of html. I did one on codeacademy.com. There's also youtube videos out there from people who really know what they're doing.

It's not all sunshine and rainbows, so go into it knowing you are going to have really aggravating moments. I had times where I was trying so hard to understand this stuff that ended in a few tears of frustration. I'm a person who believes they can learn to do anything, but it takes pushing through those frustrating moments to get there. Our brains sometimes literally try to get us to quit stuff when it gets hard - we are wired to take the easy way out and when it's not easy, the brain is like - THIS IS PAIN. But I feel that if you push against that anyway, you'll get over that wall and things will start falling into place.

Sorry for rambling and I hope this helps you in some way, Anon! ^_^

I could go on, but for your sake, I'll stop there lol. If you have any other questions, please feel free to drop them in!

[archived-junkissed]

the secret garden

member — seokmin x gn reader genre — fluff :) happy valentine's day! word count — 2.2k warnings — none! notes — this is for @hvcmixtape's valentine's day song collab!! this fic is based on: "like real people do" by hozier

be sure to check out the other participants in the collab - masterlist here!

“hey, honey?”

seokmin looks up at the sound of your voice trailing in from the other room. “yeah?” he calls back.

“i’m off to the store to get stuff for dinner, okay? i’ll be back in a while. text me if you need anything!”

he smiles. “ ‘kay. love you!”

“love you too!” you reply.

he closes his laptop, waiting. minutes later he hears the front door click shut and faintly, the sound of your car starting as you drive away.

when he’s sure you’re gone, he gets up from his chair, peeking out through the doorway of his office before walking out into the house.

the sliding glass door to your backyard opens with a squeak as seokmin slips outside, quickly crossing the yard. he struggles a little moving the heavy birdbath, but once it’s out of the way he finds what he’s looking for.

it’s purposefully hard to get to; hidden behind a cluster of small trees and shrubs and covered even further by the birdbath, because he needs to make sure you won’t see it, unless you knew exactly where to look.

he breathes a sigh of relief when he sees everything in place, just as it was when he last checked a few days ago.

he’s been planning this since last february, when he originally planned on doing this for you; except the squirrels got to it a few days before he could and he had to rush to buy cheap roses from the grocery store down the street because all the florists had been sold out for weeks. he’s still mad about that, and this year he made sure to cover everything in netting so it wouldn’t happen again.

he even bought anti-squirrel spray, and he feels kinda bad about using chemicals, but he didn’t want to risk a natural, chemical-free repellant not working and forcing him to settle for something store bought for a second year in a row. sorry, squirrels.

but thanks to—or perhaps, in spite of—his precautions this year, his gift is perfectly safe and sound. his flowers are coming along perfectly.

they’re right on the verge of blooming: the buds just barely beginning to open, just in time for valentine’s day in a week.

of course, he’s got the classic v-day flowers: deep red roses, pink speckled carnations, white daisies.

but he knows he can do better than that. any moron with a packet of seeds can grow roses in their backyard. so he’s planted some of your other favorites too, ones that took a little more planning to pull off. honeysuckle, tulips, and daffodils, some of your favorites, take up one corner of the flower bed.

the work and research put into getting everything right has been tedious, but seokmin is an ambitious man, and he would only attempt it for you. sure, it probably cost more in time, effort, and supplies than ordering a nice bouquet online would have, but he likes doing things himself, and he likes that his way is more personal.

it’s been many months of diligently deleting the search history on his computer so you don’t see the hour and a half of googling things like “how often do i water carnations” and “are worms good for plants” and “how much sunlight for tulips” every day.

not that he thinks you’d go looking, but he can never be too careful when dealing with surprises. not after two christmases ago when you found your (unwrapped) presents sitting behind the washing machine when your sock had fallen down there; no, he’s learned his lesson.

he heads to the shed along the side of the house to grab the scissors from the shelf of gardening supplies, along with a small watering can.

he’s glad you never end up sticking to your annual new year’s resolution to start gardening more, because if you had, you probably would’ve found his secret flowers already. although maybe after this, he might be able to convince you to come outside and garden with him every once in a while. it’s actually kind of fun, and it’s satisfying seeing his hard work turn into something beautiful.

when he’s done trimming the dead leaves and making sure the plants have enough water, he carefully replaces the netting and moves the birdbath back into place. he puts the gardening scissors and watering can where they belong before heading back inside, carefully sliding the door shut behind him and locking it again.

he’s just finishing washing the dirt off his hands when he hears your car pull up into the driveway, and he can’t help the smile that grows across his face at just the thought of you. he flicks his hands, gives them a quick wipe with a towel before opening the front door and going out to meet you at the car and help you carry everything inside.

the next few days pass by quickly, and before seokmin knows it, it’s the night before valentine’s day.

he’s just gotten back from work, having left early to make sure he has time before you get home, leaving him plenty of time to get everything ready for tomorrow. 

he opens the back door, leaving it open so he can hear your car pulling up in case you get home earlier than expected.

crossing the yard he feels like a kid on christmas eve, sneaking out of bed to peek at their presents before christmas morning. he’s excited for his months of planning to finally come together, and he can’t wait to see the look on your face tomorrow when he finally gets to give it to you.

he carefully cuts the flowers, picking out the prettiest and brightest blooms and setting them in a little container so he can take them inside without damaging them. 

back in the house he stands over the counter, thinking about how to put everything together. he’s watched countless videos on how to do different kinds of flower arrangements, but sitting in front of the flowers he grew himself, ready to start, it’s a little more nerve-wracking than he had thought.

he’s only got one shot at doing this right, and although there’s still some flowers left outside that he didn’t cut, it won’t be enough to make a completely new bouquet.

he takes a deep breath, eyes flicking across the counter from the daffodils to the daisies before he finally settles on the roses first. gingerly he picks one up and sets it in the vase he bought, already lined with floral tape and filled with just the right amount of water.

one by one he carefully places the flowers in the vase, trying his best to add layers and make everything look nice and organized.

it takes him a little while but finally it’s finished, and he stands back, admiring his work. it’s not as perfect as he’d hoped it would be, but he has to admit it looks pretty damn good for an amateur florist like himself. it definitely would've looked nicer had he bought a pre-made arrangement instead, but he's so happy with everything that the thought of buying flowers doesn't even cross his mind.

he checks his watch, surprised to see how much time has passed as he hurries to put the arrangement in a hiding spot (one that you won’t accidentally find this time) and put your other presents together in a little pink gift bag covered in hearts.

he hears the front doorknob turn just as he’s taking things out of the refrigerator to get started making dinner (it’s your night to cook, but he wants to keep you out of the kitchen and away from the hidden presents).

as always, you greet him with a smile and a kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck and leaning your head against his shoulder. the corners of your eyes crinkle in joy when you see that he’s making your favorite dinner, and you start telling him about your exhausting work day as he cooks.

you’ve decided to take the holiday off and call in sick tomorrow, preferring to spend a nice, romantic day with your husband, so you aren’t in bed as early as you usually would be on a work night. instead, you’re cuddled up on the couch after dinner, talking late into the night about everything and nothing at all. it’s these evening with seokmin that you love the most; the quiet days when you can just be around each other and everything feels safe and comfortable.

and he doesn’t even mind when you fall asleep on his shoulder and he has to gently tap you awake to bring you to bed. in fact, he couldn’t be happier.

the next day he sets his alarm and wakes up before you, sneaking out of bed and tucking his side of the blankets against you so that you won’t immediately notice he’s gone.

by the time you wake up a little while later, the smell of breakfast is already wafting into the room as seokmin carries a tray of waffles and fruit, topped with whipped cream and strawberries in the shape of a heart.

his face breaks into a grin when he sees you awake, carefully handing you the platter of food.

you smile sleepily at him, still letting your eyes adjust to the morning sunlight. “hi, baby.”

he giggles, sitting on his side of the bed next to you. “hi sweetheart. happy valentine’s day.”

he nods at the plate, wordlessly asking you to try the food, and you oblige, cutting off a big piece of waffle. and of course, like everything seokmin does, it’s— 

“—so good,” you moan through a mouthful of food, savoring the taste. “you spoil me,” you say as you motion to the spread on your lap.

he giggles. “you deserve to be spoiled. and besides, you haven’t even seen everything yet.”

you pretend to be shocked, gasping exaggeratedly. “there’s more?” 

after many years with seokmin, you know he’s probably got something insanely elaborate up his sleeve, but you’re still not used to the way he treats you like you’re the most precious thing in the world. and to him, you are.

he sits with you while you finish your breakfast, leaving only to take your dish back to the sink while you get up and throw some clothes on.

you meet him in the kitchen and immediately see the counter covered in little gifts, but the focal point of the arrangement is a huge case full of flowers, bright pinks and whites and reds with little hints of green spread throughout.

"minnie, this is so…" you start, your voice breaking a little as you walk towards the little display. "these flowers are gorgeous. you must've spent a fortune, you shouldn't have!"

he blushes a little, twining his fingers together. "i didn't!"

you narrow your eyes at him in confusion, and he continues. "i didn't spend anything on them," he repeats. "i grew them myself. so– well, yeah, technically i did buy the bulbs and the seeds and the fertilizer, but i got them on sale so it wasn't that much…" he trails off when he sees you staring at him, mouth hanging open. "what?"

"you grew these?" you ask in shock.

he grins proudly. "i did! and i arranged it myself, too, does it look okay? the carnations wouldn't stick to the tape right, so i had to just– y'know, shove them in there. but they look fine, right?"

you think you might cry at how thoughtful and perfect and wonderful he is, and he's explaining something about squirrels but you're not paying attention because all you can see is the way the smile on his face reaches all the way up to his eyes and the way he scrunches up his nose when he talks, and all you can think about is how happy it makes him when he makes you happy and how happy it makes you when he's happy and how you couldn't be more in love with this man if you tried.

so you do the only thing you can think to do: throw your arms around him and kiss him like it's your first kiss, your last kiss, and every kiss in between all wrapped up into one, and the way he instantly melts into your arms is worth more than any present or expensive floral arrangement he could buy for you. his gifts mean a lot, but nothing comes close to the giddy feeling bubbling up in your stomach when your lips are on his and his arms are softly hugging your waist and his nose is just barely brushing your cheek, and it's the most wonderful feeling in the whole entire world.

and when you finally break apart he's got that sickeningly in-love look on his face, and you know that everything in your life has been leading up to this moment; when you both have so much love you can't physically hold it in, and it spills out over into everything you do for each other. nothing else matters except you and him, your sunshine husband who grows homemade bouquets of flowers for you.

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i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it lets me know this is something people want to see more of and it helps a ton with being motivated to write. thanks for reading!!

[topknot32]

Miami (2/5)

Rio/OFC

summary- olivia and chris's story continues three weeks after the events of designated driver. olivia meets chris at a local diner for breakfast, but things don't go as planned, hurtling her life down a new path.

warnings- 18+. Eventual smut. Violence in general.

word count- 3K

note- I own nothing but the plot. GIFs belong to whoever made them. I found them on google 🖤

The entire flight, Olivia's nerves were on edge. Kai did his best to sit in his seat and be good, but he wasn’t quite three and perfection wasn't to be expected. She alternated between movies on the headrest television, playing rock, paper, scissors,  and pointing out the window at the city lights at night as they passed over to keep him entertained.

By the time they landed in Miami, she was exhausted, but she had to keep it together. She had no idea who or what was waiting for them at the end of this, and she started to feel stupid for bringing her son to a place she wasn't absolutely certain was safe.

I can just scream for help, she thought. Airports are filled with security.

While waiting for their turn to get off the plane, Olivia took a few deep calming breaths as Kai bounced up and down in his seat holding his favorite stuffed cow. Soon enough, it was their turn, and she carried the toddler all the way to the gate where a crowd of people were waiting for their loved ones. She searched for Chris, hoping it was him here to greet them, but he was no where to be found.

The instructions didn't say anything about what to do after arriving in Miami, but she told herself it didn't matter if no one picked her up. She had the cash that was left in the envelope, so the worst case scenario would be getting a hotel and enjoying a few days in Florida with her son alone. Just as she was about to head past the gate, she spotted a somewhat familiar face. It was Mick, but his facial hair had been shaved down to just a short goatee, and he'd lost a bunch of weight. He held a placard that said Emily Davis.

She exhaled a big breath of relief, and waved. Mick offered her a nod of acknowledgement. "Miss Davis," he said.

"Hi, um—" She didn't know what to call him, whether or not he was going by an alias.

"Michael," he said, reaching for her carryon. Olivia handed it over and situated Kai on her hip.

"Michael, huh, creative."

He glanced back behind her as if checking to see if she was followed. "Everything go okay?"

"Other than only having a day to plan a trip with a toddler, sure."

"I mean, did you notice any tails."

Olivia hadn't been paying attention, too nervous with her mind on other things, but she didn't think so. "No, not that I noticed."

Mick aka Michael nodded thoughtfully. "Okay, let's go then."

He led the way through the airport, not saying much of anything at all. Back in Detroit, Mick had always been friendly with her, and it was well known that he had a massive crush on Annie, but this version of him was different. Colder, less friendly, and Olivia felt the chill.

There was a car waiting at the curb, but no sign of Chris. "Where is he?" she asked, being mindful to not use any of the names she knew him by back home.

"Waiting on us."

That did nothing to ease her anxiety, and another wave of potential regret washed over her. She was walking into unknown territory with the most important person to her with a bunch of fugitives for company. If this went badly, Olivia had no one to blame but herself.

Mick offered nothing else, and motioned for them to get in the car where an expensive looking carseat was waiting already strapped in. They rode in silence through the city for a long time. Olivia had never been to Miami, so she was surprised by how colorful it was even at this time of night. The people, the architecture, the foliage, all of it was a myriad of shades of green and red and yellow. It was beautiful.

After a while, Mick turned the car off the main road, and they drive through  residential neighborhoods until even those were fewer and fewer, and the landscape opened up to show beaches of beautiful sand and ocean. It was hard to see without the sun shining down, but the closer to the coast they got, the easier it became.

"Look, Kai," she said softly, pointing at the blue water. He stared at in wonder, eyes wide with a smile forming, and Olivia felt her chest squeeze.

"Can we go?" he asked.

Olivia glanced at Mick who was looking back at her in the rearview mirror. "Yeah, of course we'll go to the beach."

Finally the car slowed and turned off onto a paved drive surrounded by nothing but trees. There were no other houses in sight, and not far from the road was an enormous iron gate blocking their way. Olivia pressed her hands into her thighs, squeezing the material of her sweats between her fingers. This must be the place. Mick stopped and reached out the window to push a button on the intercom. No words were exchanged, but there was a camera mounted just above it, and after a second the gate began to roll open.

The driveway seemed never ending, curving and winding through the sand until Olivia was sure they'd drive straight into the ocean. They came upon one more gate, and then the trees opened up to reveal what looked like a compound more than a house. It was a massive two story structure that made her eyes widen at the size, and behind it was nothing but sand and ocean.

"This is where he's been all this time?"

Mick chuckled, but there wasn't much humor in it. "Did you think he only had business in Detroit?"

Olivia couldn't imagine what kind of business it would take to afford something like this. This was an unimaginable display of wealth, more than she'd ever seen in her life.

Mick grabbed her singular bag while Olivia got Kai out of the carseat, but the moment they stepped inside the foyer, a handful of armed security guards came over. She felt her heart stutter a little at the guns holstered on their belts and the aggressive way they snatched up her carryon and started rifling through it. The only female in the group reached for Kai, but Olivia turned and held on tight.

"What are you doing? Please don't touch my son," she snapped, looking to Mick, but he did nothing to help. Kai latched onto her hair, pulling it at the roots to keep ahold of her, softly whining nervously under his breath at all the unfamiliar people.

"Everyone has to be searched upon entry," Mick said. "Cooperate and it'll be quick and painless."

"What for? We just got off a plane. It's not like I could've snuck weapons through security."

"Weapons aren't the only threat here. Please, allow me to search your son," the female security guard said, holding her arms out for Kai. "I won't hurt him."

"You could be wired," Mick clarified. "It'll be thorough, but they'll be gentle."

Olivia felt her stomach turn. "No, no one is searching him. Where is Chris?"

Mick took a step forward, his expression darkening. "There's no Chris here."

Olivia's lips parted in disbelief, and she started to feel panic bubbling up in her chest. "I am not wired, and neither is my child!"

Mick's phone started ringing in his pocket, breaking some of the tension, and Olivia tried to suck in a deep breath. He raised his hand to the security guards, and they took a few steps back to give her some space, but it was obvious she would go no further until a search had been done.

"Yeah, she's here. The kid, too," Mick said in response to whatever the person on the other end of the line was asking. "Are you sure? Yeah, okay."

Mick hung up. "He'll handle it," he said to the security, and stepped forward to take Olivia by the elbow. She wanted to rip free and run, but she didn't see how she had any choice. The closest thing she had to an ally here was Mick.

He led her down the hallway to their left and through a wooden door that opened up into what looked like a study. The far wall was all windows, looking out over a Spanish style veranda and beyond that, the ocean. She had to do a double take when she looked to the left to find Chris leaning against an enormous wooden desk, his hands together at his waist.

Olivia couldn't help but smile. It was more out of relief than joy, and she felt her shoulders lower several inches. "Chris, Jesus, you've got quite the welcoming party—"

He held a finger up to his lips, silencing her, and then gave a curt nod to Mick who turned and left the room, closing the door behind him. Chris approached her slowly, not saying a word but drinking in every inch of her frame as he came. She noticed him too—the tattoos on his arms that hadn't been there before, the way he was a little more toned, his shoulders wider as if he'd been working out.

Chris circled her, keeping his hands to himself, making Kai bury his face in the crook of her neck. It'd been too long and Kai had forgotten who he was. That was the downside to toddler years. They were slow for them and fast for the rest. A lifetime had gone by for Kai in the last eight months.

He circled back until he was standing in front of her, and without asking he reached for Kai. She knew she had no choice here, but she also knew Chris was no threat to her son, so she allowed it even though he struggled. She leaned forward and rubbed his back as Kai reached for her.

"It's okay, mama's right here," she soothed. "I'm right here."

Kai struggled, but Chris still said nothing. He took him over to the other side of the room where there was a toy box, and he opened it for Kai who was still clutching his stuffed cow between his chubby fingers. Kai was still nervous. He kept glancing back to make sure she hadn't gone anywhere, but he took the toy car Chris offered to him.

Chris stood and came back over to her, and she was unnerved by his silence. "I swear I'm not wired," she said, but he just shook his head no. There was none of the adoration and kindness in his eyes that she'd seen during those three weeks they were together. Instead, they were filled with wariness and suspicion.

He came to a stop in front of her, and reached for the hem of her sweatshirt. She'd traveled comfy in a matching jogger set in a neutral shade of beige, and he inched it up bit by bit. She wanted to resist, but she also wanted him to speak, so she allowed him to drag it up and over her head, leaving her in a white sports bra with a zippered front. Next he went for the tie of her sweats, and tugged until the knot came untied. He pushed them down her legs to reveal a simple pair of black cotton boy shorts.

"Please say something," she whispered, trying hard not to cry.

Chris knelt down and pulled her tennis shoes off one after the other, then her socks. Then he ran his hands up the backs of her legs, up over her thighs and the curve of her ass. She stood completely frozen, heart racing, eyes trained on the wall straight across the room as he stood back up, analyzing every inch of her skin. Under any other circumstances, she'd be enjoying his undivided attention, but she wasn't prepared for this. He even went as far as to dip his hands into the band of her panties, searching for any hint that she was here to betray him. Olivia turned to make sure Kai was thoroughly distracted to find him driving the toy car over the patterns of the rug like they were roads.

As he stood back, Chris reached for the zipper of her sport bra, but he hesitated before pulling it. For the first time since she entered the room, he met her eyes as if asking for her permission. She wanted to say no, to slap him and run from the room, but she looked away and nodded.

"Just get it over with," she said, her voice cold and foreign even to her own ears. Chris seemed to notice the difference too, because he tried to catch her eye again, but she refused.

More urgently now, he pulled the zipper down revealing her naked chest to him, and he did a quick survey, his hands running down her back to be sure before zipping it back up for her. He tugged up her sweatpants and tied them, then reached for her sweatshirt. When Olivia was fully dressed, Chris let out a sigh and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Now him," he whispered so softly she barely heard, motioning toward Kai, and Olivia frowned.

"Are you serious?"

"I am, yeah."

Olivia held his gaze for a long moment. She knew she had no choice. "This was a mistake," she said sadly, and turned to her son. "Time for pajamas, babe."

Kai looked up at her and shook his head. "I want to go to the beach."

"We will I promise, but it's late and you need to sleep. When you wake up we'll go."

He started to argue, but she gave him a look and he slumped his shoulders before coming over to the couch across from the desk where she sat down. Kai was wearing a similar outfit to hers, but she grabbed the carryon and dug out the singular pair of pajamas she'd packed for him. While Chris watched, Olivia changed him out of his sweat outfit and into the striped pajama set. Chris said nothing, and Kai was none the wiser that anything was amiss.

Finally, once all that was done, she looked up at Chris with disappointment heavy on her face. She resented him for the last ten minutes, and he could see it. He knelt down in front of the couch and took her face in his hands like it was normal, like he did it all the time, and Kai hopped up to dig through the toy box. "I'm sorry, Olivia, but it's necessary."

"You really think I'd wear a wire to help the cops find you? You think I'd endanger my son by involving him in some kind of sting operation?"

"I think that I've been betrayed by almost everyone I ever trusted."

Her eyes were burning with tears now. "I came here because I missed you, Chris. Not because I wanted to hurt you, but now I just feel stupid."

"Hey, don't be like that," he said in the voice he reserved for her before, the soft, soothing rasp that she could listen to over and over.

Olivia pushed his hands away and stood up. "Why did you invite me here? If you thought I might've been in on turning you in, why would you ask me to come? We're you going to kill me if I didn't convince you otherwise? My son?" She kept her voice low enough so Kai wouldn't hear.

"I'd never hurt your son."

Her blood ran cold. "But you'd hurt me."

Chris came over and stood in front of her. "I'll put anyone who betrays my trust in a grave, Olivia, but for eight months I kept tabs on you because I didn't want to believe that you'd play me. I hired people to watch you, to put a bug in your house, so I could make sure that you weren't in on that bitch's plan."

"You eavesdropped inside my home?"

Chris reached up and brushed his thumb against her cheek. "Yeah, I did, but you can never be too careful. I had to be sure."

"Why?"

"I missed you, mama," he said, eyes softening as he glanced down at her lips.

"You just left with no explanation, no goodbye."

"I know, and it hurt me to do it. I want you to know that."

"But why?" she asked.

Chris stepped back and took a seat on the couch, resting his elbows on his knees. "I did think in the beginning you were a distraction, that Elizabeth offered you up because she knew I was interested. But I, uh, every time I considered doin' what I've done to a hundred other rats, I couldn't. Not to you."

It was Olivia's turn to come over and kneel in front of him. She took his hands in hers, and he stared down into her eyes with so much intensity she felt nervous again. As much as she resented Beth for doing what she did, she didn't want her dead.

"Can you forgive her?" Olivia asked.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I had to take my son out of a school he loves, move him out of the only home he's ever known, bring him across the country to live in a guest house under a new name. He can't see his bisabuela, can't talk to his friends. Now unless his father goes to prison for life, or I put them up somewhere in fuckin' Kansas or Montana where even I don't know where they are, he'll never get to be himself again. That's unforgivable, Olivia." His voice wasn't soft anymore. He was angry, beyond angry even.

She sat back on her heels and cleared her throat. "Can you show me where we'll be staying? I need to get Kai to sleep. It's been a long day."

Chris stared at her for a second, the rage slowly dissipating. "Yeah, okay."

He stood and headed for the door without waiting for her to get up, and she got the feeling she'd struck a nerve. "Kai, let's go," she called out, and he grabbed up as many of the new toys that he could carry, and took her hand. Together they followed Chris back out into the hallway.

[yellowjacketsfashion]

Hopefully it won't be rude, (I have got a couple of uestions) but how the heck did you manage to find , buy and own the Jackie Polo Ralph Laren blue white stripe sweater?!

I haven't seen it anywhere and I have bee seaching for months.

Would you mind showing us your Yellowjackets collection?

What other TV shows and movies you love? Music?

Do you think people who haven't watched the show nad know nothing about it will love or hate it based on the first two episodes?

Thank you for your blog, it is fantastic. The amount of time you are spending on it clearly proves your love for the show.

No it’s okay, I enjoy answering questions!

I got my Jackie sweater off of Ebay but I spent a long time searching for one before that. I found it helpful to add variation to my searches (some more vague and some specific) on the different platforms and when possible (on sites like Ebay or Mercari), save the searches so I would get notified when possible matches popped up. You could also try putting a photo of the sweatshirt into Google Lens to see if any show up for sale in the results. Poshmark, Depop, and Thredup are also good places to look as those are specifically for buying and selling clothing.

As for my personal collection I don’t really have it in a nice display or anything (most of it’s just hung in my closet) so here is a collage of the items I have:

I didn’t include a handful of pieces such as the custom items I’ve made like my letterman jacket as well as some items I got that are inspired by the show and a few figurines.

I also want to add that overall the majority of the pieces in my collection I was able to purchase for deals less than $15 and I’ve been collecting for about 2 years so I didn’t get these all at once. Additionally quite a few were given to me as gifts.

I enjoy a lot of other shows but the main ones are Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Supernatural. I’m also excited for the new episodes of School Spirits and Ghosts (CBS) on Paramount+ which should be out soon. As for movies, the ones I probably rewatch the most are the Goldfinch (2019), Avalon High (2010), and Mermaids (2003) but not in that order.

I like a lot of different music but this is what Recieptify says about the music I listened to in 2024:

A fun fact is that the Runaways song “Cherry Bomb” has consistently been in my top 5 songs of the year since I got my Spotify in 2017.

In regard to new people watching the show, I think that someone would generally know after watching the first two episodes if they wanted to continue the show. It’s really just a question of personal taste. There’s plenty of shows I’ve watched the first few episodes of and knew it wasn’t for me or inversely that it was a show I was interested continuing. I think F Sharp and the Pilot do a great job at setting up the characters and the rest of the show as well as being upfront as to what the show is about.

For me, I was already interested in the show because I’d been seen Sophie Thatcher in “When The Streetlights Go On” and so I was following Yellowjackets on here as the first season aired. I continued to follow the show through the second season before finally catching up and watching it all before the last two episodes aired.

Sorry if this is too long, hopefully I was able to answer your questions!

[opinated-user]

I'm skeptical of that anon saying they found an ebaratara account on an onion site, mostly it's their wording. They "googled it". You can't get to an onion site from google you have to use a tor search engine like duckduckgo. Semantics, I know, but, even on tor you can't search a username a find a darkweb cp forum. Beyond that, I know Lily's stupid but she's not THAT stupid right? Why would someone use a name already linked to them on DARK WEB CP FORUM in this day and age. I think it's fake.

they said they used duckduckgo and they didn't know that search engine can just show results from the dark web. apparently this was an issue that multiple anons had when they tried to find the same forum, so i'm inclined to believe that it was entirely accidental and they just didn't know that it could happen. having said that... LO is not the smartest predator there is. she just never was. you don't need to in order to groom underaged people and young adults who have no idea what red flags to watch out for. i'm not saying that post has to be LO, just like i never said either that the sankaku accounts are without a single doubt hers. this was always just an allegation... but it's one that sounds credible to me with everything we do know about LO. for one, just look how much her incest obsession has gone through the roof since Courtney came back into the picture. before he ever spoke up, LO would still throw some references here and there, some tacky incest jokes in streams, but as someone that has been following her for years it never felt so constant and desperate like now. it's a comfort blanket that she clings to now that Courtney is back and clearly saying that there was never any love like she dreamed of, that there was never going to be. for another... just refer back to all the incest talk that she brings, all the times she blatantly tries to spin the blame to Courtney even when it makes no sense, all the times she talks about stockholm as anything but a fic she wrote and supported all the way until it wasn't cool anymore. LO loves the thrill of having this secret that she can reveal to everyone and nobody can call her out on it. violate was that. broken champion was that. everytime LO wrote about a rape apology narrative that was both a confession and also her laughing all the way because of a joke only she understood. now we can understand the joke. but only now. back when that post was created Courtney still haven't made his testimony with P, so it wasn't as widely known as now, and the only testimony of her was private messages that LO very easily could have said were from a completely stranger or ignore entirely without losing anything. she already knows that we can't definitely prove that the sankaku accounts are hers, so she could have thought that there was no issue into using that account again to get what she wants. because we still didn't knew anything about what violate or broken champion was, we didn't know how badly LO was obssessed with what she did to Courtney. do i believe that account is LO's? yes, given everything i have learn of her since making this blog. would i go so far as to try to use that as indisputable evidence that has to be taken as fact? no.

[paperboy-pb]

Now that the prologue is done, I can't thank the fans of this series enough.

No, we haven't hit any particular follower milestone. The story has just begun. And most of you haven't given me any sort of financial support to help me out, either. (And that's alright! I haven't asked, lol.)

I'm thanking you for just being apart of the audience.

I started PB in a little blue notebook during the summer of 2015. It was originally meant for my eyes only. And a big part of the reason why was that, when I googled things like "Special Ed makes me feel bad," there wouldn't be much of anything coming up. There were Quora forums! A couple of YouTube videos. Articles here and there.

But it wasn't a lot. Not enough to help me out for long. And it only hammered the idea further into my head that I was alone in what I endured. As I got older, grew up, and away from the program and people who took my disabled youth, I constantly felt this urge to talk about it. What SpEd had put me through. What I'd lost. What I'd seen & heard. The things I did and didn't learn. Even though I was never a very open kid, let alone teenager.

I hated that no one was talking about it. And how nobody knew what happened to kids like me behind closed doors. At 13 and 14, almost none of the new friends I made had ever heard a life story like mine. And I've always found that wild: I had a LOT of friends! (Still do!)

So I kept drawing it out. Kept working on the story in notebooks, sketchbooks, my friends' DMs, and anywhere else words could go. Sometimes, my family would catch glimpses of the concept art. Sad sketches of Matthew crying, freaky drafts of Monster, or tense moments between what would become Class 7-C.

And one of my parents would be like, "Why is your art so depressing?" They'd roll their eyes. And they'd add on, "People's parents aren't gonna like it!"

No, I never told them what the story was about. I never even told them it was a children's media (because it kinda isn't! I'd personally put PB as 13+?) These were judgments made with just one glance at computer papers covered in pencil strokes; sketchy and shapey little kids who didn't look like they were having fun.

I knew they were wrong. But the audacity still pissed me off. There aren't many times where it's appropriate to boss somebody else around in how to tell their story, you know? Not only that, but I also worried about not having an audience back then. Sure, all my friends loved my work. But at the time, I was the only one who'd really experienced anything "Special Education" in life. Thus, these were General Ed kids watching it unfold. Able-bodied eyes and (as far as I knew back then) neurotypical minds, watching and learning from whatever I made.

And I liked that. But that wasn't the only group I wanted to be seen by. I wanted disabled people, especially youth in their teens and twenties, to see it. That's my primary audience. And shit like that made me wonder if I'd ever find it. Had me second-guessing myself a little, you know?

But I shook it off. It's like that thing teachers always say in class. "If you're confused or have a question, ask: whatever it is, you probably aren't the only one thinking it!"

And I searched for stuff like PAPERBOY, hadn't I? Yeah. I had. So by that logic, other people definitely would be, too.

So I stuck to my guns, and... check it! Y'all showed up!

One thing I've noticed ever since publishing part 1 is that the PB Nation is pretty damn devoted. You guys have been patient, passionate, silly, and unapologetically yourselves since the get-go. And the response to every old promotional comic or post I've made has been OVERWHELMINGLY positive and curious. I've gotten fucking fanart, man! More than once! I've had the honor of meeting a few of you in person already! And for the ones who haven't caught me out with my friends in New York, believe me, I REMEMBER who comments what.

By the way, you guys should spam my comments more. Fuckin' love that shit. SPEAK TO ME, lmao. Even if it's like, the most irrelevant PB question ever. Keyboard smash in my comment sections. Send me disability reels you like. Tell me what you wanna see from the story. Whatever, as long as it doesn't bleed into parasocial territory!

I've gotta have one of the best audiences out there. So thank you! For just... being around. Here's to hoping y'all enjoy the journey we're aboutta go on.

[leefi]

The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere Read-through | Part 8: 100-127 (END)

Part 1: 1-14 | Part 2: 14-22 | Part 3: 22-34 | Part 4: 34-64 | Part 5: 64-80 | Part 6: 81-90 | Part 7: 90-100 | Part 8: 100-127 (caught up here)

How did Anna have a contact paradox...how many people is ophelia twinning her infinite feminine energy with...ok my new theory is that everyone is ophelia, except for theo chan, who is currently having the worst acid trip of his life

Su keeps pointing out how Kam had been weirdly reticient to Fang's ideas surrounding the murders basically leading up to the moment of their death. She's maybe mutually noticed something with them, or has privately ruled them out as the culprit. At first I thought they were maybe in cahoots but it doesn't seem to go both ways - but then again Fang was always super in their own head anyway, and kind of acts like a chaotic neutral-good agent (helping the rest of the class but also working to solve the mystery just for the sake of solving it/as an intellectual exercise). I really do think they were familiar with Balthazar to some degree (not necessarily in cahoots, they just know more about his deal than the rest of the class), but don't have much to go off of beyond that. Just wanna mention they were both pseudo-outsiders to the group. Also don’t wanna forget that Balt is primarily connected to Zeno in the first place, and nebulously connected to Utsu. He’s also a thanatomancer just like her.

Su said she can't help but feel as if this whole scenario was made for her. Is this her punishment? But why would she be getting punished?

Balthazar's name means "Bel protect the king". Actually let me look everyone up im curies

Kamrusepa was a goddess of magic and medicine. Go visit the Wikipedia page, the myth she appears in is pretty cool. Her symbol is an iron throne.

Ran: From Japanese 蘭, meaning orchid

Kuroka: From Japanese ��岡, meaning black hill. thinking abt the story's cover art

Utsushikome was the name of a Japanese empress

Theodoros means divine gift/god’s gift

Ezekiel means strength of god

Seth means annointed, or placed. He was Adam and Eve’s third child, born after Abel’s death to appease the family’s heartbreak

I can’t find for his specific spelling but Bardia means exalted, lofty

theo zeke and seth are all biblical names im assuming. which is an interesting connection considering what the three of them are being accused of right now! bardia isn’t - it’s of persian origin. maybe the 3 of them were in cahoots about killing him together because of brett and the blood gulch. brettdiya

Fang: From Chinese 芳 (fāng), a gender-neutral name meaning "wind, fragrant, virtuous, beautiful". Kam’s name is also apparently associated with air but i could only find it on a google search excerpt. The goddess of medicine thing felt more prescient

Interesting thing I found on Fang’s name Wikipedia page! not implying that this is connected to the story, just wanted to share a cool thing given that this historical figure was an alchemist like them

Our group really did feel small and fragile now-- Down to just eight people. Even with the barrier, it didn't feel completely safe.

genuinely stupefied over how linos is still fucking alive. why haven’t they eaten him yet

I think Fang and the council lied about how long they'd been at the Sanctuary. That would explain why they seemed familiar with Balthazar too - they'd already met in a way that isn't impossible from when they walk into the conference room, announcing themselves. I think Kamrusepa had knowledge of this too - likely due to her position as class head. But why hasn’t she suspected Fang of Vijana’s death then? If she only knew that they agreed to show up, then kept it a secret from everyone else she would’ve tried to fit them into the murder puzzle. No, there’s probably something more she knows about Fang's role in this...

Yeah, Ezekiel was never supposed to meet Balthazar either. Ughhhhh this is making my HEAD HURT. FUCKING WEEKEND AT BALTHAZAR'S

im still laughing over him wearing the sunglassesssss indoors btwww. that was so cunty of him

You are what you are, and you can't be anything else. Right?

Ran of Hoa Trinh I love youuuuuuuu

me: wow i miss fang so much. sometimes i can still read their voice

READ ME

HEY GUYS

me: NOWAY

i spent the first day basically hiding out on my own in neffies room and only snuck out a couple times.

Neffie!!!!!!!!! also this could explain why the group saw nef grabbing a package of food over surveillance and delivering it to her room? but also was fang then the last person to see her alive?

The way Fang describes tls time is reminding me a lot of the Epic of Gilgamesh weird endless looping notepad fanfic where you can shuffle the pages around. Su found it AGES ago and I don’t think it’s been mentioned since. “anyway time in tls is FUCKED UP. it's not even really time at all. it's like if you asked a dumbass how they think time works and then made it that way instead. like ok. imagine you're some asshole god. and you can see that object. the whole 10d universe, everything that has happened+will ever happened etc. and you want something different to happen, but can't make it happen because everything already exists. so instead you grab a 1d point and pull it loose. a single "frame" of reality or something idk. now on its own that's not gonna do much right? but then you break it and make it rebuild itself. so then you have a new frame. bam. tls.”

ahh shit. i'm out of time. assuming i was killed and i'm not showing you this as a joke:

if i was shot from the garden, that means that the culprit doesn't remember the previous loops.

if i was shot from inside the room, that means they do.

AWAAYWAWYAWAWYAYW A GETS UP AND RUNS AROUND THE ROOM IN CIRCLES AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND

Su was pretty sure that the shot came from outside, and her memory is supposed to be the most reliable, like how Ptolema’s observations are. I don't think she'd emphasize it in her internal narration twice unless Lurina wanted to stress it

Does it even matter who the culprit is? Could the culprit already be dead??? RAHHHHHHHH

"It sounds more like you just don't want it to be true," Ezekiel observed. He seemed strangely resigned, like he'd already accepted the idea, though I couldn't say why that was the case.

its because he went up to bal's crazy funtime room and achieved enlightenment

Does granddad know that kuroka became shiko. I'm not talking about the dementia. I mean we saw him being against the idea and then Samium may have acted independently. But also Sami seemed to have been ignoring Kuroka completely. How does she fit into this puzzle? What did Su say, that they needed someone Shiko knew?

When she says she and granddad are really alike...maybe she means in comparison that Wen is his lost person and Shiko is hers. And they're both grasping for something they'll never have again

WHYW HW THEO CHAN IS ON THE STAGE????? REVUEDOROS???????????

oooh director and playwright treat specific scenes or character actions with probability...how inch resting

PTOLEMA BEING THE FIRST TO DETECT SOMETHING IS OFF WITH THE PLAYWRIGHT/DIRECTOR FOURTH WALL BREAK. SWEEP SWEEP SWEEP SWEEP SWEEP!!! SHE'S A SAVANT!

Joshi…hmm…modernized anima scripting…. HEIGHT SCRIPTING?

YOU CAN PLASTIC SURGERY YOUR HEIGHT NOW!!! SWEEEEEEEEEPPPP. also what is joshis blood type and culinary notes. i need it for my research

Su says the name is familiar but i'm confident we've never heard it before. how am i so sure? well it's all thanks to my beautiful gorgeous mind (i quote searched it on google) (ran also clarifies like 3 lines later but i didn’t see it because i was too busy quote searching on google)

Is this bioenclosure the same case as the pantry? anomalous to the time loops, kept more preserved thanks to the previous experiments they ran on it?

I climbed the stairs, and there she was at last, standing at the rear wall

PLAYWRIGHT: Ack, no! That doesn't work for this scenario! Switch it over to the alternative!

DIRECTOR: <sighing> Very well...

sorry that was me. but i got shy

THE IRON PRINCE STUFF. HUH

A MIND TRANSFERRED TO A MACHINE OF IRON…HUHHHHHH

Would putting someone’s mind in that kind of machine turn them into an invincible god? Like they’d have limitless connection to the power. Is that the key to immortality? Ok they clarify this in like 5 lines cool. Is that what the Order was trying to do in erasing themselves? Give themselves godlike powers then dip? Unmmn My brain feels like mush and baby im stirring that pot

They'd covered the sun in photovoltaic panels, and built minds for themselves as vast as oceans, where they could rule over their own artificial realities like gods. The rest of the human population lived and died by their leave, either as specks of detritus on Earth and the smaller colonies spread about the solar system and its close neighbors, or in a lesser state of transcendence within their domains. It was paradise and hell at once. All progress ground to a halt, and the distinction between real and unreal ceased to matter.

this literally happened in cookie clicker

ANNA???????????

WHAT

???

HUH??????

UHHHHHHHH

Sure. That might as well have happened

I don't think the timeloop explains Bal's knowledge of Su's past, which is how she just tried to rationalize it ...that seems totally separate. What did he call himself? a parasite to their group

Zeno thought Su was someone else...Bal is a close relation of one of Zeno's friends...RRRRRRRRR

watching kam sweep linos with this interrogation is so bonkers!!! go girlboss go!!!!!

Even at a time like this, I appreciated Kam's apparent willingness to become a huge hypocrite on my behalf.

kamsu 💖sweep forever

Personal matter. I'd overlooked the significance of that phrase. When you set aside the rest, that made it sound like the reason he'd been swayed had been something private and embarrassing. What kind of 'projects' did people have that were personal and embarrassing, and involved much younger men? The only ideas which came to mind felt more like a product of me being a pervert than anything, even if Zeno had made insinuations during our conversation.

Plus, when I'd asked Zeno about Balthazar, he'd told me he was here as part of a favor to an old friend. That didn't connect with what Neferuaten had said at all - so was it just an outright lie?

I think Bal is related to Sami…I have this feeling…ok so Zeno, their sponsor, is a neuromancer right. That’s the closest modern day equivalent to Samium’s pneumancy…so they could’ve worked closely together. That doesn’t really explain the embarrassing personal project though…What did nef say again?

"Everyone was part of the plan from the start," Ezekiel insisted, ignoring Seth's anger. "Not just Theodoros, but Bardiya, too. That's why you saw his room in the state it was earlier in the night-- He'd been upset about the whole thing, and drunk himself half to death."

LIAR! BROTHER BARDI DOESN’T DRINK. IT’S IN HIS CULINARY NOTE! kicks him down the stairs

idk about this culprit theo theory kam. I’m at the point where I can buy him doing something for bard’s death but swaying everything??? no wayyyy he’s simply too obvies and sweaty about it. but i could listen to you play murder mystery chicken with su all day long so please keep going

"Fine," she replies, with a flat look. "I will concede we cannot completely rule out a nude suicide attack from Balthazar

this is my nomination for best line in the story so far. runner up is wheres the elevator

taking a shot every time utsushiko says “you’re just fucking guessing!!!!” and kam replies “but my dear sweet precious trembling submissive prey animal of a classmate it is SUSPICIOUS 🤨☝️” and you find me dead at the bottom of a stairwell

"I'll tell you what almost certainly happened," KAMRUSEPA continues. "When we met with Bardiya, his room was in a terrible state. It looked as though he'd been drinking, and though he did a good job carrying his regular dignity, he was most likely inebriated to some degree, leaving

RAHHHHHHHHHH kicks her down the same set of stairs that im dead at the bottom of but Ezekiel’s body is suspiciously absent

So Bardiya was like…in a fit? In a haze? Was there a struggle in his room???? Why?

Why do Kamsu not realize the world has come to a standstill to listen to them talk. My answer to that is: the unstoppable tide of yuri

SORRY BOYS, this is YURI WORLD now and we’re taking PTOLEMA HOSTAGE

"What of it? Life precludes everything! I won't apologize for wanting to live above all else!" She brushes her curly ginger hair from her face, her expression growing serious as she stares at UTSUSHIKOME. "I know you're the same as me at your core, Su. You think I can't see it? It's why we get along so well in the first place. You do a good job of acting like a person with normal ethics, and sometimes your neurosis keeps you from acting when you know you should. But deep down, you're someone who would do anything to attain your desires. You'd even betray the entire world."

The kamsu is actually making me go fucking crazy. This is insane. THIS IS INSANEEEEEEE. ILL DO WHAT YOU LACK THE COURAGE FOR FOR BOTH OF OUR SAKES!!!

Su voice: we get along?

𒊹𒊹𒊹utsushikome: But I guess it couldn't have happened any other way. Pieces move according to the rules of the game. I am who I am, and I can't be anything else. <;smiling bitterly>

SHE’S QUOTING RAANNNNNNNN

did they just say deliberate assimilation failure

"It's not self-indulgent!" Samium declared. His tone was defensive, but it was clear it wasn't for himself. At this point he was obviously upset, a subtle tremble in his tone. "It's for Wen's sake! To give her another chance in this world, even in spite of everything!"

The parallels to Kuroka and Utushikome. I’m seeing them. Also sam i am definitely fucked that old man

This was such a shit garbage world. To have let this happen to Kuroka and so many other children. 200 years of peace and prosperity? more like 200 years of. Not that

Maybe Kuroka’s love of horror is part of the reason why she feels this punishment was designed especially for her. It’s like it’s tailor made to watch her suffer.

This yaoi between Samium and Gpa is going somewhere I can’t follow. You’re discussing KILLING A CHILD???? and you have NO HANGUPS???? They’re insane

In the midst of this, someone manages to throw a grenade in the air; they must have been carrying it since the visit to the armory.

There is only one cunt I know of who was hyperfixated on the grenades and they r not alive rn

I stared down into my cup listlessly, my hands trembling slightly as conflicting strands of thought shot through my mind. I cleared my throat hoarsely, almost like I was choking.

"...t-they tricked me," I told her, my voice feeble.

She was just talking about how she usually exaggerated how badly people were treating her to make sure they got in trouble.

Why does she keep calling her old body defective? Is it because she didn’t get pre-natal distinction treatment? Is there a disability we haven’t seen?

SHE’S RETELLING THE DEMON STORY FROM THE CARRIAGE RIDE WITH RAN??????? FRIM HER SPELEOSOEDITCIE (<-PERSPECTIVE)? BARKS

Do you remember the acclimation journal that I keep? The day number I wrote in it was 4412. If you count backwards from the first day of the conclave,

babygirl i was not going to do that

When she thought we were researching Induction in mutual ignorance during those first weeks, scouring old books and the logic sea for information, I was just working up the courage to talk to Samium's contact. When I told her I discovered my original body was dead, that was no revelation at all; Samium had informed me in advance exactly what the process was going to entail and how it'd be disposed of, and I even lied to her about the details, saying that it had been physically discovered rather than the truth, which was that Samium took it somewhere far away from the city and discreetly disintegrated it.

…

It was because I wanted to employ her as a tool to soothe my guilt.

it has literally never been more over than it is right now

she took 12 years of ran’s life. ran didn’t want to go into medicine. if someone made me go into medicine what I’d do to them could not be publically shared on the internet

through all these insane revelations I have just one thing to say. I cannot fucking believe that Kam was right about Theo

diversity win! the girl whose life and body you just stole might be bi!

These last chapters have actually been giving me a headache. I feel violated. Kudos to the author!

God everything she did made sense and the way her mentality was described was so so so perfect. I can’t believe it took 127 chapters to realize just how much of an antihero she is. She really let us believe that most of her self loathing was just some kind of self flagellation, but she was right. She really is as wicked and pathetic and awful as she claims. But the world failed her so so so so so many times, and then once it finally granted her a miracle, she threw it away.

Kam getting a double kill in the span of 5 minutes is making mejdjrjrjsjjsjsjdjdjdjdhhfrbfjjf. thank you Lurina for granting us the COD lobby i so dearly wished for

Bal says he thought someone could be saved by love…Sami was trying to save Su’s grandpa by bringing Wen back…Their manner of speech is similar to someone we’ve heard speak several times in flashbacks now…I feel fucking stupid even suggesting it but could Bal and Samium be the same person? How would that even work because they’re both alive and existing in the same place at the same time?

It would be so delicious if Su was dying for this chance to speak to Samium this entire time and she did. Like 3 times. While he was reading magazines

Also they’re a thanatomancer like su…i feel like if he were a neuromancer I’d be bouncing off the walls with this theory right now but it’s just my brain trying to make connections rn

Samium’s zeal towards this wen mission made me wonder if his conviction went beyond old man yaoi to a personal goal, especially after his call with autonoe. But then he actually dropped it after gpa said not to go through with it so. I guess he really is just super gay?

What would happen to Su if you put her in the Apega(?) machine?. Would she just revert to a younger combo of Shiko&Kuroka, would she maybe revert to younger Shiko only…like, could that be the way to kill Kuroka and restore Shiko?

So Su is Utsushikome and Kuroka simultaneously. A fusion of them. And Su also looks exactly like Wen, someone dear to gdad from before the collapse. So Su is like. 4 different identities at the same time - kuro chan, utsu, su (amalgamation), wen

And ran was literally forced to go into medicine

Zeno asks Seth where the world is. Seth is confused. Zeno’s answer is essentially “what you make of it”/in your mind/yours to mold. The world is a copy of something long dead. The protag is a copy of someone long dead. The narrative’s actors’ fixation on immortality…accompanied in tandem with the obsession with things long dead…absolutely tubular

Anyway here are screencaps of the lines that made my brain melt:

[hollie911]

This is not my work. It is by the user constantwriter85 whose account had been deactivated on tumblr and ao3 and i am just sharing their work

The devil you know

Vampire!Jefferson x reader

Part 7/10

Chapter Warning: **18+** Smut, Blood Drinking, Vampirism, Fluff

Jefferson sat at the computer, researching and trying to ignore the horrible squelching of innards and the whir of the bone saw from across the room. Y/N may be a kind and gentle soul, but she had a cast iron stomach and nerves of steel to do what she did. Still, he couldn’t help but watch her despite the grisly scene laid out in front of her.

Dear God, woman, you’re as terrifying as you are beautiful.

Jefferson smiled, utterly distracted by her.

He watched her long, delicate fingers as she handled the scalpel, her eyes narrowed in concentration. A lock of hair had fallen onto her forehead, but she seemed oblivious to that as well as everything else in the room. She was so smart and so incredibly beautiful, both inside and out.

More and more, Jefferson found himself daydreaming about a life with her. As a human, once again…able to walk in daylight, to hold her hand and stroll through the park like normal people, to lie in bed with her, the sun warm on their skin and both their hearts beating together as one as they made love for hours.

Jefferson hadn’t forgotten about Grace—oh, no. But if he were able to reverse the curse, he would still have a long life ahead of him before he was finally laid to rest. A long, mortal life. One that he could spend, maybe, with her.

If she’d have him.

Because he surely wanted her, in every way possible…and he wanted to give himself to her as well. His mind was made up. He wanted to bond with her and take her as his mate, not just as a means of protection, but as an expression of his true love.

He closed his eyes, listening to the slow, steady cadence of her heartbeat. He inhaled, marveling at how good she smelled. How easy it was for him to separate the scent of her from everything else. After all, some of her blood already flowed through his veins, and Jefferson felt his fangs sharpen at the thought of more.

The sound of Y/N switching off the tape recorder startled him from his reverie, and he blinked in surprise.

Now, where was I?

Jefferson had to admit, he was completely lost. Technology wasn’t exactly his forte—okay, he was hopeless with it. She’d showed him how to use the internet, and the typing—well, it was just like a typewriter, but he was still a bit lost when it came to the mouse and all the clicking.

Instead, he propped his chin on his hand and watched as she scrubbed down after cleaning her workspace.

“Finished already, love?” he called.

She shrugged. “Seventy-five-year-old who smoked for over sixty years…you don’t exactly have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure that one out.”

“Good,” he said. “I mean…good that you’re done, not good about the…you know.”

He gestured vaguely in the direction of the corpse. Y/N laughed.

“It’s okay, Jefferson. I knew what you meant. How’s your search coming?”

He shuffled the papers and made a face. “Erm…well. I uh…I logged onto Google, but after that I admit I got a little lost…and distracted.”

“Distracted?”

Jefferson fixed her with a smoldering stare, and she bit her lip, suppressing a pleased grin. By god, if they weren’t here in her place of work he’d bend her right over that table and take her now, the little minx.

“Come,” he said, patting his leg. “Sit on my lap and show me how to double-click the mouse.”

“Jefferson!”

He laughed, grinning up at her. “I’m teasing!”

“I thought you didn’t know anything about computers.”

“I don’t…but I find modern sexual euphemisms fascinating.”

“You’re impossible,” she smirked.

They sat together at the computer while Y/N led the search for a key to the runes. Jefferson tried to pay attention, but he was very easily distracted. He paged through the book, drew little doodles on desk blotter, and alphabetized the reference books on the shelf behind them. He had just finished braiding her hair when she cried out.

“Jefferson! I think I found it!”

He huddled next to her as she pointed out an article on the screen.

“The symbols are an ancient Romanian secret language,” she said excitedly. “The symbols were used in recent centuries as embroidery patterns on clothing, but way, way before that they were used in secret cults.”

“Satanic?”

“No. Pagan Romanian cults, mostly representing the worship of the sun and the moon.”

“ Copiii soarelui și lunii,” Jefferson read in a hushed voice, looking at the screen.

“You speak Romanian?”

“I’ve had all the time in the world, my dear, I speak several languages.” He smiled and nodded at the screen. “It means, ‘Children of the Sun and the Moon.’ These cults were thought to be the forerunners to the Legend of Dracula and Van Helsing.”

Y/N turned and plucked the sheets off the printer that depicted several rune diagrams. “So, do you think you could translate it with these?”

Jefferson’s brow furrowed as he looked over the pages, cross-referencing several symbols. He laughed, seeing that she was absolutely right. For the first time, a cure was within his grasp.

“Yes, I believe it’s possible.” He beamed at her. “You’ve figured it out, Y/N, you…you’ve done what’s taken me over a century. You’re amazing, darling.”

Jefferson pulled her onto his lap, cupping her face with his hands. Light kisses against her lips, the tip of her nose, her forehead.

“Te iubesc, sângele inimii mele,”he whispered against her skin. He smiled at the deep blush that crept into her cheeks, and at the look of radiant adoration in her beautiful eyes.

“It means, I love you, blood of my heart.”

Her lips parted slightly, and she blushed. Jefferson rubbed his nose against hers and trailed his lips across her cheekbone and down her jaw, delighting in the way her breath hitched at his touch.

“Tell me more,” she murmured.

"Lumina vieții mele, vreau să vă dau totul.”

Jefferson kissed the soft spot behind her ear. He drew her earlobe between his teeth, biting down gently. She gasped, and he whispered softly.

“Light of my life, I want to give you everything.”

His hands smoothed down her sides, gripping her hips and pulling her tighter to him. Lips grazed down her throat, pausing at her pulse point and feeling the rush of blood just beneath the surface.

“Vreau sa te fac al meu.”

He bit down lightly on the tender skin there, feeling her pulse quicken in response.

“I want to make you mine.”

Jefferson looked up at her and was surprised to see the carnal hunger in her eyes. She looked as though she would devour him on the spot. Bending down, she placed feather-light kisses on his cheeks, his nose, his brow.

“I want to be yours. Only yours,” she murmured.

The coil in his belly tightened as he felt her thighs squeeze his waist, and he gasped as she gripped his chestnut locks, tilting his head back so she could lavish attention to his throat. Jefferson’s hands snaked up her back and pulled her closer as they became lost in one another.

***

Two eyes peered through the low window that looked into the basement morgue, crimson lips sliding into a snarl. Watching in silent fury as the couple exchanged soft kisses and gentle caresses, less than ten feet from her.

Jefferson. Walking, talking, and very much alive, right in front of her. Kissing that lying little bitch of a coroner. Regina had been fooled again, and this time by a talentless human girl. Lied to and deceived, even after Regina had done her very best to put the fear of the devil in her.

Regina stood and dusted off her pantsuit. Well, her little protector wouldn’t be able to save her this time.

Regina had followed up on the coroner’s paperwork, trying to track down Jefferson’s body…only to find that both the paperwork and the autopsy had been faked. The police were none the wiser—to them there was no way the body could be anything but dead and gone. Regina knew better, though.

Jefferson was proving to be as slippery as an eel. He had tricked her at every turn, and now he had her spell book. And not just any book—the Cartea Morților,some of the darkest and deadliest spells were in that spell book. It was one of her favorites.

Apparently, he hadn’t learned his lesson with Grace. Perhaps it was time to take someone he loved from right in front of him. Make him watch as she suffered…use her as leverage to get what she needed from him.

And then, Regina would make Jefferson watch as she killed her.

As she faded back into the surrounding woods, Regina began to plot. She would need to get the girl away from him somehow—there was no way she would be able to get to her with Jefferson around. The man had no stomach for violence, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t fight to the death to protect the woman he loved. The curse had made him stronger and faster than her…and a potentially lethal adversary.

Regina got in her car, as slow smile spreading across her face. She wasn’t worried. She would track them and find a way to get the girl alone.

Then she would make them both pay.

***

“Love? There’s something I want to ask you.”

You hummed, looking up at him. Sprawled across the couch with Jefferson, your head nestled against his chest, you floated in utter bliss, staring into the dancing flames in the fireplace. His long fingers grazed down the side of your face, his index finger sliding over your bottom lip.

He seemed lost in thought, and a little apprehensive.

“What is it, Jefferson? What’s wrong?”

He smiled. “Nothing’s wrong, I just…I’ve been doing some thinking, and reading…”

“About what?”

“A way to keep you safe…a way for us to look out for each other.”

You must have looked confused, because he carefully sat you up, pulling the Cartea Morților onto both your laps. He paged through the book until he found what he was looking for.

A wild heat erupted in your core the same moment you flushed in embarrassment. The page was in Romanian, of course, but the illustrations left little to the imagination. They looked like they belonged in The Joy of Sex…if Bram Stoker had written it. It appeared to be detailed instructions for a vampire mating ritual.

Jefferson caught your look, and he chuckled nervously. “Yes, ah…it’s…I know it’s a bit, erm…descriptive, but it’s…”

He cleared his throat, blinking rapidly. “The mating ritual is not just sexual, it’s used to form a bonded pair. That is, between two vampires after they’ve imprinted on one another…or a vampire and a human.”

You had to admit, just the thought of bonding with Jefferson in that way warmed your heart…as well as somewhere further south. Still, you had questions.

“Will it…will it hurt? Am I going to turn into a—”

“No!” Jefferson grabbed both your hands, clutching them with urgency. “I would never, never do anything to hurt you or…or taint you like that.”

He said it with such disgust that you immediately felt bad for even asking.

“Don’t,” he said as if he could read your thoughts. “You have questions, as you should. I…I only bring it up because it is a means of protection. After we’re bonded we’ll be able to sense when the other is in danger, feel each other’s emotions. A bonded pair will always find each other.”

“So it’s just for protection?”

“No. Not just that it’s…it’s something I want with you, very, very much.”

Your breath hitched in your chest, and your heart fluttered.

You would be lying if you said you hadn’t imagined a future with Jefferson. What he was offering, while slightly different, seemed more intimate and…lasting. You knew he loved you, but you had no idea he felt as strongly as you did. He was sitting there, watching you, waiting for your answer.

You nodded, and Jefferson broke into such a radiant and genuine smile that it melted your heart. He cradled your face, kissing you deeply. His nose rubbed against your cheek as he whispered into your ear.

“I love you, Y/N.” He smiled and pulled back, his blue eyes flicking back and forth between yours. “Do you want this, darling? Truly? I don’t want to make you—”

You silenced him with a kiss, and he moaned.

“I want to be yours, Jefferson. I want this.”

Jefferson drew you into his arms, nuzzling your hair. The fire was starting to die down as he helped you to your feet, holding your hand tightly as you ascended the stairs to his bedroom. He shut the door and stood there, fidgeting and staring at the floor.

Now that you were in his room, Jefferson seemed nervous. He was trembling, and he looked at you as if you were made of porcelain.

“Jefferson, what’s wrong?”

“I…I want to do this, I really do.” His lips trembled. “I just—I don’t want to hurt you.”

He looked at you, his eyes miserable. “And I could. Hurt you. I—you have no idea what it’s like. How much I constantly struggle to control myself with you. How long I’ve dreamed of this very moment with you. How much I want it, but I’m so afraid I’m not strong enough to stop myself.”

Jefferson looked at you, his eyes darkening with desire. He leaned in, kissing you gently as his fingers traced down your neck, stopping at the hollow of your throat. His palm flattened against your chest and he closed his eyes, feeling the steady rhythm of the organ beneath.

“I can hear your heart beating, did you know that? Always. Sometimes it beats softly in the background, a white noise I hardly notice.” He took a deep breath and his eyes fluttered open, feeling your heart start to pound beneath his hand.

“Other times, though, like this…it’s everywhere. It’s all around me. It’s inside me, I can almost feel it. It’s so alive…so beautiful…so you.It’s almost more than I can stand.”

He was staring at you now, his eyes blown black with a carnal need.

“I can smell it…your blood. God, it smells so sweet, so intoxicating.” Jefferson licked his lips, barely suppressing a shudder. “Your heart is racing, it’s pounding in my head. I can hear the liquid rush calling to me, and I can smell how much you want it.”

Jefferson ghosted his lips over the pulse point in your throat, and you could feel the light drag of his fangs against your skin. Wetness pooled at your core, and he groaned. You knew he could smell that as well.

“God help me, I want it too. I want it, but once I have that first taste, I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop myself.”

Jefferson seemed to come back to himself, and laid back on the bed with a sigh. “It won’t be like before, it’s…it’s…I’ll try to be gentle, but you have to understand, I’ll be at the very limit of my control.”

He looked up at you, miserably tormented by his conflicting emotions. It was time to take matters into your own hands.

You unbuttoned your dress, letting it fall silently to the floor as you climbed onto the bed, facing him. Jefferson stared at you as you crawled over to him, your fingers slowly untying his scarf.

“It’s okay, Jefferson, I trust you. I know you won’t hurt me.”

His breath hitched as you unbuttoned his shirt and ran your hands down his sculpted chest. He felt cold, and you remembered he hadn’t fed yet today. Heat coiled in your belly at the thought.

Jefferson reached up with trembling hands and lightly traced the vein in your throat, all the way down your chest, pausing over your heart. His fingers slipped beneath the fabric of your bra, running softly over your breasts and making your nipples hard. His eyes flashed darkly, but he was exceedingly gentle as he pulled off your undergarments.

His pants and shirt soon joined them on the floor, and he sat back, staring at you as if seeing you for the first time. It seemed like the calm before the storm. He was painfully hard, and you were almost shaking in anticipation as you felt the wetness of your arousal leak down your leg.

“So beautiful,” he said as he took your face in his hands, “and all mine.”

He laid you back against the bed, his mouth never leaving yours. For a moment you were both so still, laying skin against skin, your heart pounding so hard you felt it shaking both your bodies. Jefferson’s breath shuddered against your lips.

“Te iubesc, dragă,”he murmured. “So much.”

“I love you too, Jefferson.”

His tongue licked against your bottom lip, requesting permission. Jefferson groaned loudly as he entered your mouth, and he slid on top of your body possessively. He left wet, open-mouthed kisses down your front, whispering against your skin.

“I’m going to make you mine, darling, but first…first I’m going to make you scream with pleasure.”

His eyes found yours as his fingers found your core. He started slowly, gently, rubbing lightly over your clit as he suckled your breast. You sighed in contentment, a sight that turned into a gasp as he slipped a finger inside you and bit down on your nipple.

You cried out as his sinful tongue explored your body. He slipped a second and a third finger inside, pumping hard and rubbing your sensitive spot into a frenzy. Jefferson bit your ear, fisting your hair and holding you tightly against his body.

“Come for me, my petal. I want to hear you.”

His voice was a low growl, intensively possessive. It might have been that alone that sent you over the edge, but the moment he rubbed hard against your clit you came with a scream.

Jefferson didn’t even let you come down. Flipping you over, he grabbed your hips, drawing you up and back as he pushed in with a single hard thrust. You groaned obscenely. His hands gripped you tighter and he pushed against you, hard and quick, your name a breathless moan on his lips.

It was rough. It was animalistic and possessive. You could barely breathe with the sheer masculinity he exuded.

You came again, clenching down on him. His thrusts became erratic, and he slammed into you as he came with a choked shout. Jefferson’s hand reached up and grabbed your throat lightly, pulling you back into his chest. He panted into your shoulder, and you could still feel him twitching inside you.

Your head was buzzing with aftershock. Still, Jefferson was far from done with you. He smiled as he gently laid you down, his eyes wide and bright with adoration. He balanced his weight on his arms, his taught stomach against yours and his still-hard cock between your legs. Once again, you marveled at the sheer beauty of him.

A kiss as he entered you again, gentler this time but no less insistently. Slower thrusts this time…deeper. Taking his time now that all the frantic, needy energy had been expended from you both.

Your legs wrapped around his hips as his eyes bored into yours, and you found yourself mesmerized by their intensity. Then his lips were on yours again, the heat building slowly.

Jefferson cradled your head, lifting you up and tilting your head back slightly. His lips grazed your pulse point and you felt his breath, warm against your skin.

“I love you, Y/N.”

Two sharp pinches at your throat, and your eyes flew open as you gasped at the pain. Blood gushed up from the wound. Jefferson’s mouth pressed to your jugular as his fangs sank in deeper, and the pain disappeared, gone as suddenly as it came.

A great wave of euphoria washed over you, and you clutched at his shoulders. Jefferson drank, great long pulls as he continued to thrust into you. He moaned, his throat working at your vein. You felt your heart slow, each beat almost a painful thud against your chest. Jefferson moaned again in response, his thrusts growing harder and more desperate as he drank.

His skin was liquid fire against yours, and you swore you were both glowing. The room dimmed. You couldn’t breathe, the intensity of your previous orgasms washing into the now and making your head spin. Your body tensed and your back arched as your nails raked his back. Jefferson’s hips snapped against you once more and you came again, your vision fading to black as he released inside you.

You drifted, floating away on a cloud of ecstasy. Dimly, you were aware of Jefferson’s fangs withdrawing. His tongue slid over the wound on your throat, and he cradled you against his chest.

“Y/N? Darling, open your eyes…I need you to tell me you’re okay.”

His voice was hoarse and thick with emotion. It didn’t worry you though, nothing did. You couldn’t feel anything except for him—your world began and ended in his arms.

Your hand fell limply onto the sheets.

Worried hands at your face, and your eyes sleepily blinked open. You felt so exhausted, so…thoroughly sated. Lazy with afterglow. You smiled up at Jefferson, reaching up to caress his face.

“…so pretty…so…you’re so…beautiful…”

Blue eyes looking concerned now, lifting your head.

“Y/N, listen to me. You have to drink now, you’re too weak.”

Jefferson bit down on his wrist. Blood immediately welled from the wound, running down his forearm and dripping onto the sheets. Your eyes had fluttered shut, and he held his injured arm to your lips.

“Please, love…you have to take some from me now…I know it’s…”

His words faded to a gasp as your lips found the wound at his wrist, and you began to drink.

It was far from disgusting. It was a bit salty with a coppery hint, but it was rich and warm and somehow, it tasted like him. Jefferson shuddered and gasped, pulling you close and cradling your head against his chest as he fed you.

The haziness retreated, replaced by a startling clarity. Your eyes fluttered open. The colors of the room were brighter, your hearing sharper. You could sense Jefferson’s every feeling, every movement, your hypersensitivity completely in tune with his body.

All too soon he gently pulled his wrist away, licking the wound closed. You laid back, sighing deeply. Your body was thrumming with sudden energy. With life.

You rolled over, staring at him, feeling an immense and visceral pull. Jefferson looked at you, his eyes shining with devotion. You could feel his love, tempered with lingering concern.

Suddenly, you wanted him again. You needed him.

You pressed him back against the bed, raising his arms above his head and pinning him down. You knew he could easily overpower him, but at that moment, something otherworldly was driving you to dominate him. To make him yours.

Jefferson growled up at you, his eyes flashing with desire as your lips met his in a bruising kiss. Fingers tangled in his hair, pulling his head back as you bit his throat, sucking his skin between your teeth as he whimpered submissively.

You bit his lip and tasted his blood again, and it was all over after that. Jefferson groaned as you sank down on him, taking his hands and placing them on your hips. His head tilted back and he cried out as you rode him.

Neither of you lasted long this time, toppling over the edge together with a mutual shout. You collapsed against his heaving chest, your strength utterly spent. Jefferson curled his arms around you. Legs wrapped around his waist, you held him, neither of you wanting to let the other go.

Now it was time for sweet kisses and lingering touches, the heat of your passion burning low but still just as bright. You stared at each other with new eyes. Hands caressed gentle curves and taught muscle, each of you breathless with love for the other.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of kissing you,” you said, sighing dreamily as his lips found yours yet again.

Jefferson laughed, a light and carefree sound. “Then I’ll make it my life’s mission to make sure you get your fill, from sun up to sun down.”

You looked at him, realizing what he had just said.

“I mean it, Y/N. If…if we’re able to pull this off, to reverse the curse and make me human again, I’d like to court you…properly.”

You giggled. “I don’t think they call it courting anymore, Jefferson.”

“Well, dating then,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Whatever you call it, I’d like the chance to live a mortal life with you, if you’ll have me.”

After everything you’d just done, everything you’d been through together, he was still unsure.

“You already have me Jefferson,” you said, kissing his cheek. “I’m yours, in this life and the next. I’m never leaving you.”

Jefferson exhaled sharply, and he blinked. Tears spilled over as he drew you into his chest in a bone-crushing hug and peppered kisses all over your face and neck until you were giggling again.

Soon the first hints of rose began to peek over the horizon as dawn approached. Jefferson looked up at you apologetically.

“It’s okay, Jefferson. I’m exhausted too. Let’s just go to sleep, we’ll need our strength for tomorrow.”

“Yes. Tomorrow.”

Despite the fatigue, his eyes twinkled in anticipation. Tomorrow you would begin to translate the runes and gather the materials needed for the potion. Tomorrow you would take the first steps towards turning him human once more.

You curled into Jefferson as his arm wrapped protectively around you, and you watched as his eyes grew heavy…long, dark lashes resting against his cheekbones. His breathing slowed, and as the first glimpse of the sun peeked over the horizon, he let out a small sigh. His chest didn’t rise again.

You knew what to expect with the dawn, but it didn’t make it any easier to watch. You held Jefferson tightly as the last bit of warmth left his body.

Soon, love. Soon, you won’t have to live like this anymore.

Tags:

@learisa

[theaceofskulls]

Time for a YouTube rant because honestly the adblocker thing has finally pissed me off enough.

Youtube has fundamentally become a fucking awful experience as of late so its insistence on you watching the ads is laughable. It's a fundamentally worse experience than it was 10 years ago and it only continues to get worse.

About 5 years ago I had to start curating my own suggestion feed because its algorithm promotes controversial videos and ragebait reactionary content over more researched and well produced videos. And this is after the algorithm had already been hitting creators hard in a way that directly promoted those types of creators rising to the top. Animation, video essays, anything that prevents regular, speedy uploads were being buried while reaction content (either people watching something and reacting to it or having hot takes on current events) were being rewarded.

This led to megachannels, effectively production companies which would use a large amount of smaller creators to supply more constant content, which had their own issues as all these types of ideas do. But in terms of a user experience, it also made following these channels annoying when you were only there for one creator or show.

And then there's the issue of the change to ads from sidebar content, to popups, to full on adroll inserted in the middle of videos. Ads got more intrusive and made the viewing experience worse. Over the past few years I began to despise opening videos on my phone that I quickly searched for only to be greeted by a half loaded ad that blared at top volume.

And these ads aren't curated. It's laughably bad what random ad can be shown to you, including content that breaks Youtube's own terms of service.

Added to all this is the fact that Search Engine Optimization has been gamed by so many different people over the past decade that all the larger sites are awful to use to find things anymore. In the past year I've had to deal with no less than 5 extremely frustrating points where I knew exactly what I'm looking for but Amazon, Google, and Youtube have recommended me everything tangentially related to what I'm looking for, even when I'm including half of the specifications into their search bars. Hell I've found youtube results crowded with reaction content to the original stuff I was searching for that was on youtube itself from people I've never heard of in my life and only because they linked the video themselves in the description did I find the original.

And on a personal note, those familiar with this blog will know I enjoy video games, anime, and Warhammer, so I have to fight a regular battle with youtube to not try to send me down a far-right pipeline. One which will randomly reset channels I've told it to hide.

Because of this, earlier this year I turned off my watch history because the homepage was getting to be 80% content reacting to content I was interested in rather than my subscriptions or even more of that type of media and 20% of those random suggestions were ragebait. Turning it off meant that my homepage would still try to give me suggestions but it was way more tuned to content I enjoyed and skewed with more of my subscription content.

Well halfway through the year, youtube decided that for the crime of turning off the setting that was making my homepage actively intolerable that the homepage would now look like this permanently

It just keeps getting worse to use even as its competitors begin to cement themselves more in the public consciousness.

Now while they've made the experience worse and worse and sold a "solution" to ads, they have the gall to fight with adblockers in preparation for rolling out anti-adblocking across their browsers in general.

Fuck this company. I hope it bleeds money and keeps bleeding it until the internet begins to heal from what its helped do to it.

[fangirl-life]

My Final Thoughts on Mayans No Spoilers

So boom...I finally finished Mayans MC last week. I know I'm late. I wanted to binge the last two episodes together and wanted to find the right time to...but it feels so surreal!

I legit stumbled upon that show a few years ago through tumblr because I had a random thought about what Edward James Olmos was up to at the moment. Any new projects? Did he retire? Maybe I was watching a Miami Vice rerun with my dad or that episode of Portlandia he cameo'd on. Either way, instead of googling that man like a normal person, I searched him on tumblr and found screen grabs of him and these two fine ass men who were playing his sons in this ongoing tv show called Mayans MC.

I didn't even think about looking into the show until I found out it was related to SOA (I was just happy EJO was still out there working) and I had a crush on Jax when that show was out even though I barely watched it, so I was like "lemme give this one a try".

Two seasons was already out by the time I jumped on the band wagon, so I binged and fell in love. It caused me to meet great people on this platform and interact about our shared interests instead of just reblogging and liking content like I did with any of my other fandoms. It allowed me to open up and create my own content. It exemplified my admiration for motorcycles. And quite frankly I was getting bored of having no active celebrity to be infatuated over. All in all, the Mayans fandom is really special to me.

So yeah, it feels surreal. THE ENDING of it all feels surreal. all I'm gonna say about it is that I'm not dissatisfied by how Elgin tied it up. I still wish it went differently and think that it could have and still been realistic with other pathways, but maybe because my expectations were low, I thought that how it ended wasn't really all that bad. To me, it made sense given the path we knew Elgin chose to go down and he surprisingly managed to tie up a lot more loose ends than I expected. Not all of them and some of the ones he did tie up were, imo, rushed, but again, I was expecting every plot but the main one to be completely ignored and abandoned, so I was pleasantly surprised.