#THIS was the moment i knew absolutely knew that this show was gonna crack me open like a total nutcase | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lamentationsofalonelypotato · 7 months ago

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Chapter 21: Try to Understand

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV, Soldier Boy POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy. This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter twenty one of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 7.5K

Warnings: I'm gonna go 18+, I'm not sure that it needs it, but I'm still gonna do it. Angst, Talks of pregnancy, Talks of possible abortion, Cursing, Fluff, Sexual References, Graphic Nightmare?, FLUFF, Family Problems, Self-deprecating thoughts, Awkward Situations, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, completely a little OOC. Soldier Boy is really all you need as a warning.

Note: This is told from the Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Soldier Boy POV

After his shower, you still haven't come back from talking to Rosemary, and Ben decides that instead of eavesdropping on your conversation, he's going to go to the kitchen and get a drink. He knows exactly where Legend hides the good shit, mostly because Legend hid it to keep it away from Ben in the first place. And despite it happening forty years ago, nothing in Legend's house had changed. Ben had many memories of this house, at least two Herogasms had been hosted here, hell, Ben had memories in the room you two were sharing, but he kept them to himself.

The last thing he wanted was for you to think about any of the things that happened in the past, not when you had told him that he had made it up to you, not when you had held him close after all these years and whispered things to him that he always wanted you to say, and not when he was more happy than he'd ever been.

You said that you forgave him, Ben understood that, but that didn't mean he was going to stop making it up to you every day and it didn't mean that he was going to stop making you happy, because after all these years you were still the only thing he wanted, and he refused to lose you ever again.

He glances at the empty bottle on the nightstand, the one that you brought with you last night and the same bottle the two of you finished together.

He was surprised when you said you stopped drinking, but not completely. You'd only drunk socially as a supe, and Ben hadn't seen you drunk since the two of you were kids. He knew it was because you didn't want to lose control like he did.

Ben stutters on the memory of what happened in Mid-town, and what happened forty years ago when he threw a car through a house and killed an innocent bystander. Ben didn't believe he was a bad guy, he was a hero or- the memories of all the moments he lost control began to seep though the cracks- at least he thought he was.

His mind drifts back to you. You were always in control. The one time he'd ever seen you lose control was when you lost it at the premiere all those years ago. It was justified. Ben would have lost it too if he walked in on anyone fucking you. His jaw clenches at the thought, but then he remembers what you said last night, that there hadn't been anyone else, that you never wanted anyone else but him ever. It was surprising to him, that you hadn't moved on, even after all this time you still loved him the same way you always had and that there would never be anyone else.

Fuck. Ben took in a deep breath to avoid getting too excited remembering what you said, feeling warmth begin to build in his abdomen. It had been difficult to contain himself when you admitted that to him. If you had let him, he would have made love to you right then, made you feel things that no other man ever did, but you said you wanted to wait.

And Ben wanted to respect that, wanted to respect you.

He examines the empty bottle once more.

When you were younger he'd watch you get drunk on cheap beer that he bought you more than once, usually when you proclaimed that you could drink him under the table and then Ben had to practically corral you to get you home. Then again he liked those nights, when you'd try to sing, swing from light poles that lined the street, and you'd grab his hand and say crazy things like "let's run away" or "let's go egg Missy Callahan's house." Both of which Ben didn't need much more convincing to say yes, but the two of you never did.

He would have run away with you if you'd ever seriously asked him to, he would have dropped everything to leave, would have chosen you just as you chose him the night he showed up and asked you to go with him to get the serum. The promise he made to protect you and be strong for you the night you went with him was not new. He had repeated it to himself every day since the minute he realized how much you meant to him.

And he would continue to do it for the rest of his life.

Ben ascends the stairs, buttoning the Giants jersey that Butcher bought for him. He wasn't the biggest fan of them forty years ago, but it was one of the only shirts he had. And the last thing he wanted to do was walk around without a shirt on. Ben smiles to himself remembering your reaction when you walked in on him changing into his supe suit yesterday morning. He loved that you reacted to him that way, it was the same way that he reacted to seeing you yesterday when you were standing in your bathroom in only your bra, looking just as beautiful as you had forty years ago when he took you to bed and-

Fuck. Ben took in another deep breath finishing the last button to avoid thinking about you naked. It had been forty years for him and he knew that he was going to have to take it slow when it came to sex.

He stumbled into the kitchen and froze.

Lou was sitting at the square kitchen table that sat under a floor length window and looked out onto the sprawling backyard of Legend's property. Ben could see Rosemary and you talking at the very edge of where the grass met the thick woods beyond.

"Hi Ben!" Lou smiles wide at him. A giant box of crayons sits on the table just beyond her filled with every color known to man, while she scribbles in a sketchbook that looks suspiciously like the same ones that Ben had seen you buy for yourself in the past. "Do you know how to draw trees? Aunty y/n always does them for me, but she's talking to mommy."

"Um-" Ben clears his throat, fastening the last button of his shirt. Lou was smiling at him the same way you did, like she was genuinely happy that he was there, and he wasn't used to that. It was the same way you used to smile at him when he climbed through your bedroom window. He looks out the window to where you're still talking to Rosemary trying to find a way out, until finally he sighs. "No. I'm sorry."

"That's okay, mommy can't draw either." Lou looks back at her drawing while reaching for a brown crayon. She was wearing pink polka dot pajamas, pants and a shirt that matched. Ben had never seen pajamas like that before, but he supposed that pink was her favorite color, given that she was also wearing a pair of bright pink fuzzy slippers.

He couldn’t help but smile. He wondered if you hated how much Lou liked pink, if it reminded of those dresses your mother used to make you wear that always made you look like a giant iced birthday cake.

Personally, Ben didn’t think you looked that ridiculous, he thought that you looked cute, ruffly, but cute. You never believed him when he told you that.

Ben wandered over to the cabinet where he thought the whiskey was, but as soon as he opened it, he found the cabinet empty.

Did he fucking move it?

"It's under the sink." Lou said from behind him.

"What?" Ben turns around surprised.

Lou was still scribbling with her crayon in her sketchpad. "Uncle Legend came in and moved it this morning."

"Thanks." Ben awkwardly makes his way over to the sink, and sure enough behind the mop bucket is a full bottle of whiskey. He busies himself with pouring a glass before he eyes the chair next to Lou wondering if he should sit there.

Ben was nervous, he'd never admit it, but he was. This was his granddaughter, someone that you loved very much. He'd never been around a kid before, didn't have any siblings growing up, and certainly didn't have any relatives with children the way you had.

He liked to think that if he had been there when you were pregnant and when you gave birth to Rosemary he would have gotten used to it gradually. He wasn't sure if he could even be a dad, not after everything that happened with his own.

He was sure that he was going to be a disappointment to Rosemary and even to Lou and-

"Sit with me." Lou says, interrupting his train of thought as she gets off of her chair to pull out the one next to her for Ben tugging with all her strength to pull it out from under the table.

Ben hesitates, but finally smiles at her efforts to get him to sit with her and sits down.

An awkward silence falls over him, he's again unsure what to say, so he takes a sip from his glass and hopes that you'll come in and save him from saying the wrong thing, but given how upset you look standing outside with Rosemary, he's sure that it won't be anytime soon. The urge to go outside and get between Rosemary and you is strong, but just as he begins to move to get out of the chair, Lou interrupts him.

"You make her smile more." Lou says, while grabbing a red crayon with her chubby hand and begins to draw the petals of a flower in her sketchbook, meticulously trying to make them more circular, tongue between her teeth as she concentrates.

"Who?"

"Aunty y/n. She didn't smile as much before." She says it matter of factly.

"Really?"

Lou nods reaching into the box of crayons for a new color. "She tried to act like she wasn't sad, but I think she was. Sometimes when she thought I was asleep I would find her on the couch just sitting there. I think she was lonely. And I tried to give her bigger hugs but they never seem to work. Hugs always make me feel better." Lou sighs.

"I'm sure that your hugs made her feel better." Ben's says tightly. He's not sure how to talk to Lou, isn't sure if he should talk to her like an adult or not.

"I love aunty y/n. I want to be just like her when I grow up. I want to be an artist!"

Ben looks down at the sketchpad on the table beneath Lou’s hands. It was of a giant tree that had different colored flowers all squished together in its branches. Each flower was different than the last, crudely drawn, but under it all Ben could see her potential. It reminded him of the sketchbook pages you first showed him when you were eight and swore him to secrecy, threatening bodily harm if you told anyone else about them.

“You’re very good.” Ben says and Lou beams with pride at her drawing, before flipping to a new page. She holds out a brilliant yellow crayon towards Ben. “Please draw a sun right here.” She taps her finger against the top left of the page before placing the crayon in his hand.

“Oh I don’t think I-“

“You can do it Ben! Aunty y/n says that art doesn’t have to be perfect, that it gets messy sometimes but that makes it fun!” Rosie reaches for a purple crayon and begins to draw stick figures to the right of the page.

Ben had heard you say that before, usually after your mother would sneer or make a comment about your paint stained hands when he’d bring you home from a day at the park. But sitting here listening to Lou say it was different.

Lou reminded him of you as a kid. She wasn't afraid to speak up, to say what she thought, and she was filled with creativity and love.

Ben always admired that about you, that you were able to create things so perfectly and that you always made space in your heart for him, even when he was a complete dick for so long. He wondered if Rosemary was like you too. He could see a bit of it when she told him off, saw how headstrong she was and how ready she was to protect who she loved from him.

Ben hated that Rosemary believed that he would hurt you again, when it all but tore his own heart out to do so the last time.

But he was trying, hoped that she could see that he was trying and hoped that one day she’d let him in. The problem was he wasn’t the most patient person in the world.

He looks down at the crayon in his hand frowning slightly. He wasn’t an artist like you. The only thing that he’d really ever drawn was the naughty doodle that got him kicked out of boarding school, the one that made you laugh so hard you pushed him off the bed when he drew it for you in your sketchbook. You’d tried to show him other ways of drawing and painting but he’d never been interested.

Not to mention he didn’t think it was manly. He didn’t think that a man should have a hobby like this. It should be fishing or hunting or something like that but he looks down at Lou.

Her eyes are shining bright with excitement, smile wide, dimples showing and he doesn’t want to disappoint her, not when she’s been nothing but nice to him since he showed up.

If Hughie or fucking Butcher come in here and see me drawing this fucking sun I’ll-

“You don’t look like your pictures.” Lou hums drawing a smile on the face of the stick figure.

“Huh?” Ben looks up confused.

“The pictures that mommy keeps in the drawer.” Lou says reaching for a black crayon to draw long flowing hair on the stick figure.

“What pictures?”

“Of you and aunty y/n. Mommy has some in her drawer.” Lou acts as if she hadn’t said anything, grabbing a different crayon to draw another stick figure.

“She has pictures of us?”

“Yeah. You don’t have the beard though. And you and aunty y/n are really young.” She pokes his cheek with a chubby finger, making Ben freeze. Lou squints her eyes at him. “You don’t look like the picture that aunty y/n drew either.”

Ben hesitates, eyes slightly widening. “She drew a picture of me?”

“Few days ago.” Lou scribbles. “You didn’t have a beard then either.”

In the new drawings and paintings that Ben had seen back at your apartment, he hadn’t seen any drawings of him, he assumed it was because of everything that happened, but to learn that you did still draw him made him smile.

“You don't like it?” Ben asks, amused.

She shrugs. “It’s okay.”

“Aunt y/n likes it.” He said it more to himself than to Lou. Like hell he was going to shave it off when he saw how much you liked it when he came back. Ben smiles to himself remembering how your heart beat jolted out of your chest whenever he touched you, how your cheeks flushed, how your smooth skin felt beneath his hands-

There were so many little things that Ben missed about you, so many things that he had forgotten, and now he got to learn each one all over again and fall in love with every part of you for the second time in his life.

The sun he drew in the top left of the page was lopsided, but Lou didn't complain, in fact she added a pair of sunglasses to it, and a bright smile that Ben laughed at.

"What are you two doing?" Ben hears your voice say as your hand gently rubs his back. Ben looks up embarrassed. He hadn't wanted to get caught with a crayon in his hand, but at least it had been you and not Butcher.

"We were just-" Ben begins to say, his eyes flicking to where Rosemary stands behind Lou eyes narrowed.

"Mommy look. Ben is helping me color!" Lou crows, picking up her drawing so Rosemary can see.

Ben realizes what Lou was drawing on the other side of the page. Lou has drawn Rosemary and you standing with Lou in between the two of you holding on to her hands. Ben's eyes slide to the last figure in the drawing, his chest suddenly very tight, it's him, standing beside you, frowning, but holding on to your hand.

Rosemary smiles tightly at the page with a sigh. "That's nice sweetie. Come on, let's get you dressed."

"But I like my pajamas."

"Do what your mother says Lou." You smile down at her, stroking her dark hair back from her face.

"Okay." She sighs dramatically and begins to walk out of the room, but Rosemary is still glaring at Ben.

"Rose-" You begin to say, but she interrupts you.

"She might be able to forgive you, but I'm not going to." Her eyes narrow. "I don't think you're good for her."

Ben is still sitting in his chair at the kitchen table, your hand solidly on his back as if you were making the statement that you weren't going to push him away. It solidified something, showed him how much you were willing to sacrifice to keep him in your life, and again enforced just how much you loved him. If Rosemary hadn't been standing there, he would have sat you on the marble countertop and sucked another mark into your neck. The one he left yesterday was already starting to fade and he wanted to replace it as soon as possible.

But he was still angry, angry that Rosemary wouldn't give him a chance. "Your mother means everything to me." Ben says honestly. "I'm not asking you to forgive me. All I'm asking is that you get to know me first before you-"

"I don't want to get to know you." Rosemary says. "And if you hurt my mother again, I’ll make you wish that you stayed in that fucking lab."

She's gone in an instant, making Ben feel a pain in his chest that he hadn't felt since he spoke to his own father decades ago, on those nights when his dad got so drunk that he couldn't stand up straight and the nights that his father's words rang heavy in Ben's ears. Those nights Ben would get drunk, climb up the tree outside your window, and stumble into your bed, curling into you because you were the only thing in his life that he couldn't stand to lose, couldn't stand to disappoint, and the only thing in his shitty life that made him happy.

"Ben-" He hears you say.

"Mhmm?"

"Look at me."

Ben looks up. He doesn't like the worry in your gaze, doesn't like how your own eyes are just a little rimmed red like you were crying.

"I love you." You whisper. "And she's not going to change that."

"Are you sure?" He barely breathes the words, afraid in his soul to admit them to you, to speak them into the universe.

You drop into his lap, putting your forearms on his shoulders.

"Ben." You drag your fingers through his hair, your touch soothing his anxiety. "You know me enough to know that I don't pull punches. If I didn't want you here, I would make sure you weren't." You press a soft kiss to the tip of his nose. "I want you here with me. I don't want you to go ever again. "

They were the words that he wanted you to tell him on the nights he crawled through your bedroom window, the question that he was always afraid to ask. Because he never believed that you could want him even a fraction as much as he wanted you, could love him and want to be with him as much as he wanted to be with you. And yet here you were after all these years after all the shitty things he did accepting him and letting him into your heart.

“Okay.” He leans his forehead against yours for a minute. “What did you talk about?”

“Homelander. And what happened yesterday.” You sigh. “She’s about as thrilled as I thought she’d be with us going after our old team. She was pissed when I told her about Countess the other day but this was worse.” You mutter holding on tight to him. “She’ll get over it. At least… I hope she will.”

“Mhmm.”

“I will say that I’m kind of jealous.”

“About?” Ben is suddenly worried.

What did I do? Did I-

“Every time I tried to get you to draw with me you said no.” Ben watches you frown dramatically. “And here you are with another woman-“

Ben rolls his eyes and shuts you up by closing the distance between your faces. You laugh into his mouth, his tongue finding the rigid edge of your front teeth as you do before you fit your mouth against his and kiss him, your soft lips molding against his in a way that makes a deep seated groan vibrate up through his chest.

“You try saying no to her.” Ben mutters.

“It’s impossible.” You open your eyes to stare at him again, your gaze filled with more love than Ben had ever seen. He’d never seen anyone look at him like that before, none of the other women he’d had in his life had ever looked at him the way you did. And he never wanted you to stop. You looked at him like he was special, treasured, like he was something that you never wanted to stop looking at, like you saw every part of him and refused to turn away.

He'd only seen that once before. He had taken a woman out for drinks, you had been doing an interview that ran late and Ben was trying to pass the time, but at the bar he had seen an older couple sitting in a booth in the corner. Ben couldn't look away from them. They were sitting on the same side of the booth, the man's arm draped over the woman who leaned into him with a wide smile, her gray hair pushed back in an elegant twist, but she looked up at him with such reverence that Ben couldn't help but think of you. When he saw that he left the woman he came with there and went to your apartment, to wait until you got back. And when you had fallen asleep Ben had folded you into his arms and allowed himself to dream that one day you would look at him the same way.

And now years later here you were looking at him as if he was the most precious thing he'd ever seen, the same way you looked at him the morning after your birthday when you told him you loved him.

"But I did tell you that once Lou drew you into the family portrait, you were in." You reach back to pick up the drawing holding it between the two of you so he can see Lou's hard work. "She really captured your frown." You snort, leaning your head against his shoulder while you look at the drawing.

"Shut up." Ben squeezes you, but he can't help but smile at the paper.

And deep down Ben started to believe you when you said that this was his family too, because sitting there with Lou he had felt just as at home as he had with you.

All he had to do was convince Rosemary.

[30 MINUTES AGO] READER POV

I can't believe that she walked in on us IN BED. She's already pissed about me having him here, but why did her finding us together feel like the equivalent of my mother walking in on Ben and me?

You follow behind Rosemary silently, trying not to think of how sad Ben looked when you left him. You would have wanted nothing more than to stay in bed, curled up beside him and make him understand that no matter how much Rosemary wanted you to push him away, you weren't going to leave him.

You could see the fear flashing in his eyes, had seen it last night when he yelled at you. As much as he didn't want to admit it, you knew that Ben was still afraid that you would leave him. And knowing how much you meant to him made you love him even more.

It was a beautiful day. Legend's home was the only one within ten miles, his money well spent to keep himself secluded from the rest of the world. The large trees at the back of his home were tall and strong, their branches curling upward to the sun as if they wished to worship it.

The sunlight was warm on your shoulders, soaking through your t-shirt and sweat pants as you follow behind your daughter, who was obviously trying to get out of earshot of Ben's supe hearing. You didn't want to break it to her that you'd probably have to drive at least a mile away for Ben's hearing to get a little bit fuzzy.

Finally, just as you reach the crest of trees at the back of the lot she stops and turns back to face you.

She's frowning and waits a minute to begin. "I want you to tell me what happened."

"I did-"

"No. You didn't tell me everything and I want to know exactly what happened and why you had to fight Homelander."

You bite the inside of your cheek.

There really wasn't an easy way to sugar coat it or really explain it in a way that Rosemary would understand without getting angry.

She almost went ballistic the other day when I told her that I killed Countess and that was a complete accident. Us going after the Twins was not. Us going after the twins was calculated.

"Okay. Before we talk about that, I want you to understand why-"

"Oh you mean why you and Ben-" She seethes his name. "Were going after your old team? The exact thing that you told me you weren't going to do when you came to tell me about Countess?"

"Yes."

"Fine." She leans back against one of the trees, still frowning. "Go on."

"Ben told me what happened in Nicaragua. What Countess said was true, she seduced him to make me angry." You hold up a hand. "And before you say that Ben said those things to me and did those things of his own free will. I know."

Rosemary still doesn't look pleased.

"They betrayed him in Nicaragua. They attacked him and gave him to the Russian military."

"But why?"

"Honestly I'm not sure. I think it's because Ben used to be wild and impulsive and-"

"Used to be?"

"Just listen." You sigh. "He spent forty years in Russia being tortured and experimented on. They put something in his chest-"

"What did they put in his chest?"

"It's like an energy beam." You were giving her the short version about what the beam really did, because you didn't think that now was the best time to say that it might turn supes human. "But that's why we went to see the Twins, because they betrayed him and when Homelander showed up I had to step in."

Rosemary pinches the bridge of her nose and you can tell that she's trying very hard to not get angry. "So let me get this straight, you went to see the Twins, AS SOME KIND OF FUCKED UP REVENGE FANTASY?"

"Well-"

"No. My turn to talk." She holds up a finger like she's admonishing a toddler. "I can't believe that you can't see what's happening."

"See what?"

"You told me that things were different, that he'd changed but he hasn't! He's still the same angry dick! The only person that's changed is you!"

"What?"

"And you don't fucking see it!" Rosemary shouts. "You facing Homelander, you killing Countess, you going after your old team- it's all him! As soon as you got a whiff of Soldier Boy you started to slip back into the person that you were forty fucking years ago."

"That is ridiculous-"

"No it's not. And it's all him. He is the one making you throw the life away that you have made for yourself. He is the one making you use your powers again! He is the one making you go along with his ridiculous revenge plot-"

"Ben is not making me do anything!"

"He is-"

"You have no idea what that's like for people who say that they're your friends betray you. To have people who you thought trusted you give you up like that. They stabbed him in the back Rosie, and they sent him away to another country to be tortured. Do you have any idea what they did to him there? Our old team deserves everything that is coming to them."

"I don't know who you are anymore."

"I am still the same person I was. I am still me."

"No I don't think you are-"

Your jaw tightens. "Look, I understand that you're upset with this whole situation. With having to be here and with me letting Ben back into my life, but he is my family too."

She bristles when you say the word 'family.'

She has to understand that, to know that Ben is my family, is her family.

"Rosemary, do you have any idea what I would do for you if someone tried to hurt you or Lou the way they hurt Ben? What I would do to them for even trying?" You whisper it, but you can see her expression soften as she considers what you were saying. "You were angry with me because I was going to go to Russia alone. You wanted to protect me. And even all this stuff with Ben, you have been trying to protect me from him because you believe that he's going to hurt me again. How is this any different?"

“It is.”

“Why? Because he’s hurt me?” Your eyes lock with hers. “I’ve hurt you by letting him back in my life. Are you saying that now you wouldn’t protect me? That if I asked you to go with me to Russia right now you wouldn't do it.”

She stands there looking at you for a minute, letting what you've asked hang in the air between the two of you. And you know that deep down she understands the need to protect her family the same way you did.

"No. That's not what I'm saying. You depend so much on him and it's only been three days." She sighs. "Mom you were happy before-“

"No I wasn't." You mutter.

The memories of the last three days with Ben proved that. You hadn't realized just how in the hole you were until he walked back into your life. Until you felt how much you loved him and now understood how much he loved you. Waking up with him, falling asleep with him, spending time with him, seeing his smile, hearing him speak, and feeling him beside you all felt different. She was right, you did feel different. You felt lighter and warmer, like you'd mainlined sunshine, like everything else had been colorless until Ben walked back in.

You understood that now you may have tried to be happy, and you were with Rosemary and Lou, but not anywhere else. Being with Ben felt right.

Rosemary eyes you for a minute and then finally sighs. "I know."

"What?" You weren't expecting her to say that.

"He's been here only three days and you're-" She searches for the word reluctantly. "You're glowing."

"Huh?"

"My entire life I've watched you. I know you. You're my best friend. And I'm not saying that you haven't been happy, but with him you're a different person."

"You've already said that and it's not true. I'm still me-"

"Not about the supe shit." She shakes her head. "The way you look at him, the way you smile, the way whenever he shifts in another direction you do too like somehow you sensed it. And it scares me."

"Why does that scare you?"

"Because if he decides this is all too much and he leaves, I don't want to see the person you become when he does." She frowns and crosses her arms over her chest. "I kinda feel like I've seen that person the last thirty nine years."

"That's ridiculous-"

"You told me about before, told me how you were when he left, I didn't see it, I couldn't imagine it, but now seeing you with him, understanding just how much of a hold he has on your life, understanding how much you love and care for him- mom… I see that the life you made for us, you still weren't you. I'm not sure if you were really completely happy and now seeing you with him, I-"

You place your hands on her cheeks. "Rosie. What happened forty years ago is not your fault. I would not change a single second that I spent with you and Lou. I do not regret the life that I've made with you. I do not regret you. I want you to understand that. The things that happened between me and Ben, even though they were fucked up, does not mean that I don't love you."

"I know that." She whispers, but you're suddenly unsure.

You thought that you'd expressed that to Rosemary enough over the years, that you did not regret having her, that you wouldn't change that decision.

"Rosie please." You hug her, tears burning just behind your eyes. "You are not a mistake. I love you." You pull back to look at her green eyes, the same as Ben's. "And I wouldn't change a single thing about my life. Because maybe I wasn't happy with me, but I was when I was with you and Lou."

"Okay." She pulls back with a sigh.

"I just wish that you'd try to talk to work things out with Ben." You search her face. You told yourself that you weren't going to get involved, but you wanted her to like him. He was her father and he was going to be spending time with you.

"Look I don't want to hate him, and maybe I don't, but it's not your fault." Her expression hardens. "He shouldn't have shouted at you yesterday for that. You didn't make me hate him or make him the villain. It's not your fault." She repeats.

"Maybe it is. I told you all those things about him, I made you focus only on the bad, only on the things that happened towards the end-"

Rosemary takes your hand. "Mom you told me everything. I remember the good things. I remember what your friendship was like. I remember the stories you told me when I was a kid about Ben and you running around Philadelphia."

"Which ones?"

"When he was strong for you when you couldn't be. When he took care of you, when he took you places, when he supported your art. When he made sure that you were happy. I-" She pauses. "I haven't forgotten those."

"Then why-"

"Because they happened before. When Ben was still Ben and not Soldier Boy. I've seen every single film. Watched every interview, commercial, and even those stupid music videos." Rosemary shakes her head as if trying to rid herself of the image.

"You have?"

"Yes. And I saw the person he became."

You knew what that looked like. Ben really did go all out for the cameras when they were rolling, but when it was the two of you he was just him. And the past two days he had shown that person to you all over again, and you knew deep in your heart that you were trusting him again.

"I know that you don't believe me when I say this, but he really is different."

"Sure."

You sigh. You knew that she wouldn't believe you, that she was just so hell-bent on pushing him away that she wouldn't listen to you. But you knew deep down that he was different, and that he was trying. It was enough for you.

Ben was enough. And the fact that he was willing to throw away all the macho bullshit he had spouted in the past, that he was willing to try to change to be the boy you fell in love with, meant everything to you.

You knew that you had probably forgiven him too early, but you wanted to believe him, and you wanted him to be back in your life.

Rosemary echoes your sigh and looks back up towards the house, stamping her foot in frustration. "Did you at least kick his ass?"

"Who? Ben? I told you that I threw him-" You begin to say suddenly confused.

"No." The ends of her lips twitch into a smile. "Homelander."

You laugh. "Yeah. They don't really make heroes the same way these days."

"Good. He probably fucking liked it."

"I wouldn't be too sure of that." You snort remembering the look he gave you when you threw him against the ground. "But it was kind of cathartic to throw him around. I feel a lot better. Maybe you should give it a try." You narrow your eyes at your daughter. "I mean Homelander not Ben."

Rosemary's lips pull into a mischievous smirk, looking more like Ben than she ever has. "I'll keep that in mind."

READER POV

Your heartbeat pounds in your ears, heart racing to catch up as you tug your arms to get them free, but leather restraints hold them in place at your sides. A cold chill seeps up through the metal table you lay on though the thin paper gown that covers your body. Brilliant light from fluorescent square lights above blinds you. And even when you shut them tight the flash of red that stays behind burns through your iris.

Shadows move just on the edge of your vision and you strain your ears to hear them speak, to understand why you're here, why you're strapped to this table, but the only thing that remains is a garbled sound broken only by the rapid ding of a heart monitor.

Where am I? How did I-

A sharp pain deep inside of you makes your breath catch, an uncomfortable sensation between your legs. You try to kick out, but your legs are strapped down, pried apart and bent at the knee. Your pleas for release are slurred as if you've forgotten how to speak.

Someone brings their hand down over your mouth and you bite down, blood and flesh sticking between your teeth and the person strikes your face savagely.

The shadows that pass over where you lay on your back are impossible to bring faces to and their muffled conversations are just out of reach.

And when you open your mouth to scream everything goes black.

"Y/n!" You hear Ben shout as you come to, his hands on your shoulders shaking you from sleep, but you can't move, can't speak still stuck in whatever hell-scape that your mind designed. "Please Sweetheart." He's leaning down over you, eyes wide with fear and anxiety, eyebrows pulled together. "Wake up."

"Ben-" You croak, breath coming in gasps, eyes blinking to focus on him above you.

Ben breathes out a sigh of relief, pulling you up into his arms and tucking your head beneath his chin.

"Ben." You say again, tears falling from your eyes sobs shaking your shoulders, breath coming in gasps as you cling to him, holding on to him so tight you think you hear his back crack.

“Shhh. It’s alright Sweetheart, I’m here. I’m right here.” Ben murmurs into the top of your head, rubbing his hand down your spine.

It wasn’t the first time you’d had the nightmare, but it was the first time you’d had it in forty years. It had started a few years before Ben had been taken. You don’t know why, but you always assumed that it was stress of being a hero or your heartache over Ben refusing to see you as more than a friend, that finally you cracked. But you didn't know why that particular scenario. The only time that you'd seen something remotely similar was the day that you received your injection of Compound V and you figured maybe your mind created the dream to haunt you.

And now it’s back because I’m stressed about all this shit with Homelander.

You inhale the familiar scent of Ben’s cologne, tears soaking into the front of his black shirt, but it does little to calm your heartbeat. You sob again, arms wrapped around his neck holding him tighter to you as you shudder.

“It’s alright. I’m right here.” Ben says again. His hand trails gently down your spine up and down in a soothing motion to calm you down.

He’d comforted you before after the same nightmare, he knew exactly what you saw each time, but he also was confused as to why you saw it. In his arms you felt safe, as if no one else could touch you or pull you away. You wondered if Ben felt the same way when you held him.

“Shh.” He presses a kiss to the top of your head, pushing back the strands of hair that clung to your sweaty forehead.

You shudder again, sweat sticking your shirt to your back, but your heartbeat begins to slow as you take in another breath.

“Same dream?” Ben whispers.

“Yeah.” You breathe. “I haven’t had it since you were-“ You choke on the words again as the images from what you saw come back. The mumbled voices of the figures fading in and out of your ears.

“Did you ever figure out what it was?”

“No. I-“ You inhale. “I don’t know. I-“

Your body shakes again as you cling to Ben, trying to forget the dream that never seemed to go away. “I don’t know.”

READER POV

In the days that followed Butcher and Hughie looked for Mindstorm's last known location, and Rosemary tried to stay as far away from Ben as she could, which wasn't too far because she refused to leave Lou alone with him. And Lou kept wanting to do more and more with Ben.

But you didn't mind that, because it meant that Rosemary got to sit front row to Ben trying to get more comfortable around Lou.

And try he was. He sat with her each day while she drew after breakfast, watched you and her paint side by side on Legend's back porch, waited patiently while you braided Lou's hair back from her face, and even indulged her in the occasional game of Go Fish that Ben always seemed to lose. But he didn't mind or at least not that you could tell.

"I understand that you all have this kind of fucked up fantasy when you go after Mindstorm," Rosemary sighed leaning back on Legend's dark brown leather couch with a beer in her hand. "But I still don't see how this is going to help us with Homelander."

Butcher shrugs taking a sip from his own beer bottle, brooding in the chair across from her. Hughie mirrors the shrug and reaches for the last slice of pizza in the ornate glass coffee table in front of the couch.

You were sitting on the couch beside her, your legs folded up underneath you with a mug full of scotch clutched between your hands, while Ben stretched out beside you nursing his own glass of whiskey.

In all the years that you had known Legend, there never seemed to be a shortage of booze. Ben respected that.

Lou was sleeping soundly upstairs, you kept checking on her every few minutes with your supe hearing, but so far she hadn't woken up.

"Because those two wanted us to go after their old team first." Butcher gestures to Ben and you with his bottle.

"At least we don't have a hard-on for Homelander." Ben frowns. "Can't tell if you want me to kill him or if you want to fuck him."

"Ben-" You sigh.

You had tried not to think about Homelander over the past few days, but it was unavoidable. You bite the inside of your cheek remembering what it was like to fight him, what it was like to hold him by the throat and stare into his nearly black eyes.

He had been pissed. You knew that, but you hadn't expected to feel so weird when you looked at him. You remember his blonde hair, the sharp smell of hair dye, the strong cut of his jaw-

Your thumb rubs the side of the mug you're holding. There was something else about him though, something that you couldn't place, something that when you looked at him you felt that you had forgotten something. Something important that nagged and tugged at the back of your mind.

But what? I've seen him before, at least not in person, and definitely not that close. Only in those pathetic interviews on T.V, on those stupid energy drinks…

You think again about the grip you had on his throat, remember the angular planes of his face.

"That doesn't fucking help." Rosemary rolls her eyes and you look up at your daughter.

She really does act like Ben even if he wasn't around through her childhood.

You think to yourself, your eyes tracing her face, looking at the soft dusting of cinnamon colored freckles over her cheeks that she usually hid under makeup and the nose that always reminded you of your father.

You think about Homelander again. But what did I forget? What about him made me-

Your entire body freezes as you stare at Rosemary's face, the face that you'd looked at for the past forty years.

No. That's impossible-

You can't breathe, can't think. Something cold clamps over your heart the chill soaking into your bones like you've sunk into deep water. All other sounds in the room fade into a muddled haze as you sit there and stare at her, eyes widening, heartbeat beginning to thud loudly in your ears.

Oh. My. Fucking. G-

The mug shatters in your hand, glass and alcohol going everywhere, but you don't feel anything. Only the sense of dread, and the chill that spreads with the coming storm and the understanding of what it is you've forgotten.

And you hoped to God that you were wrong.

A/N: I'M BACK BABY! Honestly after a week off I am doing alot better. Thank you everyone for the love and support. I hope y'all liked this chapter. It's moving the story right on along and the next chapter is going to be BIG and BLOODY. But we'll make it through.

As always thank you so much for reading! If you'd like to be added to the taglist or if you are already apart of the taglist and it didn't notify you, please let me know! :)

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#soldier boy x you #jensen ackles soldier boy #soldier boy #soldier boy x female reader #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy/ben #the boys amazon #the boys fanfic #jensen ackles #soldier boy fanfiction #solider boy #soldier boy fic #billy butcher #youcallitmadnessbuticallitlove

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fairytsuk1 · 1 year ago

Note

sitting your pretty ass self on alexis’ cock while he’s on a call with someone who is live 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

teasing alex on a call ...

alex laughs boisterously across the hall and you smile automatically. even just knowing he was around made your heart stammer in your chest. it wasn't just that, though; you saw him before the stream, and he looked more than good. actually, he looked incredible.

he had donned his typical black and gray beanie that left black wispies flying out from under it. it's even better as his gold chain revealed a black t-shirt hanging low on his chest. was it getting hot?

"i'm gonna go live," he pecks your cheek, "be done soon!"

but that was hours ago! and the more you thought, the more you remembered how good it felt to run your nails across his scalp. to feel his hands pull you closer to his chest...

your feet were already taking you down the hall. before you knew it, your phone was abandoned on the kitchen counter. alex is calm when you slide into the room. his eyes lock onto yours for a split second before he's cursing back into the mic. then, "hey babe, what's up? i'm still live!"

he doesn't let his surprise show as you plop into his lap, "i know! been watching."

alex takes a moment to make a quick joke, but thankfully everyone else is too distracted with their chats to notice how his breath hitches. how he slams the "MUTE" button to snake his hands under the cotton of your tank top.

"babeee," he sighs as you scooch even closer, rolls your hips just a bit harder.

"shhh, i think someone's saying something to you, alex."

alex struggles to tear his eyes away from yours. you urge him with your hand to the mic and he throat bobs, "i-i'm here! i was just too busy playing the game!"

your hand palms him slowly and teasingly. his voice cracks slightly in the mic, and he's pushing his hips up into your hand. it's so sexy to feel him harden under your silken touch. the way he fills out his sweatpants is absolutely intoxicating, "fuck, go under please..."

he whispers into your ear with a demanding voice but you smirk.

"hush, just let me fuck you, yeah?"

the raw dominance in your voice sends a shiver down his spine. you listen, spit slicked hand wrapping around his thick cock. alex keens, fingers gripping the arm handle with a ferocious grip as he tries to keep himself under control, "fuck, okay, okay. please fuck me, shit...!"

"you're still live, and sounds like your friends are getting impatient, honey."

"th-they don't care, they'll think I left," and your hand twists around his leaking tip, "oh! oh my god."

"talk to them, baby."

"c-can't," he mumbles.

"talk to them. do your job," you suck a dark mark on his neck while pulling him out, "you can do it, baby."

his voice is shaky as he nods, eagerly watching a stream of spit dribble from your tongue to coat his dick. it feels so intimate the way you slowly stroke him with a wet click.

you know it's killing him. he throbs in your hand and his voice is more meek, more far-away, "sorry, i'm just a little--"

you struggle holding back your moan when you sink down onto him. your teeth sink into the juncture of his neck as he stretches your dripping pussy out. you've taken him so many times that's so easy, but you always feel the stretch of his girth when you take him for the first time.

"--a little tired!"

alex squeaks out and you can't help your quiet giggle when you plop yourself down in his lap. again, then again, and soon his desk chair is squeaking lewdly.

"fuck me, yes! feels so good. your pussy feels too good," he buries his face into your chest, clinging to you like a bear, "fuck, mami. you're so dirty, riding me while i'm live?"

" i already know you like it," you wheeze, hand ripping off his beanie to tug him by his hair into a lip-lock, "already know you love fucking me, fuckk! oh fuck, stretching me out so well."

it's so lewd how you can hear the boisterous laughs of his friends, the fighting and the jokes; all at the same time you fuck yourself silly on your boyfriend's cock and he practically drools over your tight, wet walls squeezing him.

"i'm gonna cum, oh shit! babe, w-wait," he tries to stop your desperate hips or clenched thighs but it's no use.

"wanna feel you fill me up, need it. needed you so bad, fuck, alexx!"

and you vaguely hear voices calling out to alex among your own. he's so close, balls tightening and mind hazy. he can barely breath as his lungs constrict.

"'m so close, baby. cum in me, need to feel you breed me," you wheeze, "please, alex!"

alex cums in hot white ropes. you feel him paint the inside of your walls and you nearly spasm from pleasure. it's so hot and your teeth tug his bottom lip hard enough to taste copper. your orgasm washes over you in a huge wave that leaves your every limb shaking. neither of you can even speak as the stream falls on dead ears.

it takes a moment to remember to take a deep inhale. your mixed releases spill down your thigh and leave messy droplets on his sweatpants. alex himself is no better, lips agape with eyes closed.

alex's eyes meet yours looking like swirls of honey. you know he's feeling vulnerable, feeling sensitive. your hand cards down his face and you leave soft pecks on his freckles.

"that was... baby, that was insane."

"i know, baby boy. you did so good for me. i fucking love fucking you."

alex giggles a shy laugh into your cleavage. another person calls out to alex, and finally he's regathered enough energy to sit up and unmute.

"yeah, i gotta go! yeah, yeah, i'm fine. i just," he pauses, "i just had to take care of something for a sec."

#quackity imagine #quackity scenario #quackity x reader #quackity x you #quackity x y/n #quackity fanfic #quackityhq x reader #quackity smut #quackityhq smut #quackity thirst

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anyasathenaeum · 1 year ago

Note

Not really nsfw but a crack-ish fic where Knives is trying to kidnap/threaten Vash's s/o and they just tell him "I fucked your brother, shitlips" and he starts arguing with them (they keep saying it) for at least 30 minutes until Vash shows up.

A/N: Okay this just made me burst into laughter, what a chaotic idea. I LOVE it. Sorry it's short but it's my first ever crack-fic

Warnings: MINORS DNI, Explicit mentions of sex, This is Absolutely Not Serious™, please enjoy chaos and Knives getting annoyed

"You will obey me, or else, I will-"

"You'll what? You won't do anything because jokes on you, I already slept with your brother," You immediately cut Knives off, grinning a bit maniacally at him.

Knives' eyes widened and he just stared at you for a moment.

"What?"

"I slept with your brother," You repeated, grinning even more maniacally. Despite you clearly being in a position of vulnerability, tied up and restrained, you were loving this and decided if you were gonna be unhinged, you would push the envelope as far as you could.

"You... what?"

Knives continued to just stare at you, confusion and lack of understanding clear in his pale eyes.

You let out a borderline-unhinged laugh, "What aren't you getting here, buddy? I. Slept. With. Your. Brother. I fucked Vash, which was amazing, by the way! I'm really glad we finally slept together, it took FOREVER for him to get the hint!"

Knives just rubbed his eyes with his hand and sighed exasperatedly, trying to keep himself calm and still maintain his intimidating facade, "As I was saying, you-"

"Fucked Vash, you betcha I did! Many times, actually!"

Oh, this was getting fun. You wanted to see how annoyed you could get Knives, partly out of the want to just frustrate and irritate him, and partly because you knew Vash would definitely be on his way to save you.

Knives scowled at you and just looked down at you as he got close to your face, anger clear in his features.

"Would you shut up about-"

"Fucking Vash? Never. And trust me, after the kind of sex we had? I'm NEVER shutting up about it ever again."

Knives let out an exasperated yell, "Are you kidding me?! Stop talking about sleeping with my brother!"

"Four times, Knives! Four orgasms in the span of ten minutes, I mean, what kind of man can pull that off?! It was impressive, I felt like I had no bones left in my body, and-"

"ENOUGH!"

Knives bellowed loud enough to actually silence for you, but it didn't wipe away the grin on your face. You couldn't help but stifle a laugh as you saw how red Knives' face was and how annoyed he was.

"What, jealous you aren't getting laid, Knives? I must say, the whole 'murdering the human race' vibe you've got going on might be the reason."

You couldn't believe you were pushing this far, but all your shame was out the window now - it was all or nothing at this point.

"I swear, if you don't stop talking about- about-," Knives spluttered angrily, but you immediately interjected before he could get too far.

"What? Sex? Are you so shy that you can't even say the word, Knives?" You teased mercilessly.

"Why are you two talking about sex?"

Both you and Knives turned to see Vash standing there, looking extremely confused and a bit of an amused expression on his face despite his gun being drawn.

"Get them out of my sight," Knives immediately snapped, just about throwing you across the room at Vash, "I give up. I never want to see them again, they're useless to me. Both of you, leave now, before they start talking about... about..."

"Sex?"

"OUT!"

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sttoru · 2 years ago

Text

STEP ON ME !

ෆ sypnosis. satoru decides to surprise you by making breakfast in bed since you weren’t feeling well. he leaves the kitchen a complete mess, which only stresses you out more and it eventually turns into a small argument.

ෆ note. had to make some satoru angst (+ comfort at the end).. based on a thought i had of satoru holding back tears & failinf t_t not proofread !

ෆ tags. gojo satoru x female reader. angst, reverse comfort, bits of fluff, satoru holdin back tears because he isn’t used to u raising ur voice.. ehem. that’s all ima say.

satoru’s tongue stuck out between his lips as he was deeply focused on cracking an egg open without making too much noise. he had planned this surprise breakfast for you in secrecy ever since he spotted the stress and fatigue in your demeanour. it was written all over your face: you needed a break from life itself and as soon as it was possible.

the least your lover could do was make things easier for you by doing the simplest of tasks. that’s the reason behind satoru’s motivation this morning. he was determined to make you your favourite food just to be able to see that smile on your face again.

‘then, add 200ml of milk,’ the voice of a woman explaining the recipe on a youtube video sounded from somewhere in the kitchen. satoru couldn’t even spot his phone throughout the entire mess he made; he just followed what the voice said.

there was flour everywhere on the counter along with broken egg shells, spilled milk, ripped open packages of seasoning, some other pans on the stove which got toasts in them (already halfway burning). all in all, it was utter chaos, though it seemed like satoru’s been used to it.

“okay.. now we mix it.” satoru mumbles to himself and grabs a whisk to mix the ingredients in the bowl. he had a joyful expression on his face, dimples showing near the corners of his mouth, blue eyes glimmering with anticipation at what your reaction could be.

‘she’s gonna be so surprised—can’t wait,’ your lover was already imagining just what your face would look like once he surprises you. it fills his heart with pure and unadulterated love.

little did he knew that you were already awake due to the distant noises of destruction in your kitchen. you had awoken with a headache and were already in a bad mood because of whoever interrupted your (already) poor sleeping schedule. satoru was most likely the culprit since he wasn’t in bed with you right this moment.

you lift yourself up with a groan, mumbling some complaints once you realised that you had been awoken at 9 in the morning. today was the first and last day in so many weeks that you could sleep in, yet was instantly ruined. this only fuelled your stress for the day ahead.

what you didn’t expect, however, was to find the kitchen in such a disastrous condition. you freeze on spot and stare at the mess with wide eyes. the only thing you could hope for in that instant, was that this was all part of a very long and realistic nightmare.

satoru wiped some flour from his face as he was too engrossed on perfectly cutting up some of your favourite fruit. he had a proud expression on his face once the last pieces were sliced up and stepped back to admire his work, “absolute masterpiece. bet she’ll be happy about it.”

a long sigh coming from behind the sorcerer made him turn around. his face lit up at the sight of you. especially because he loves how adorable you look in the mornings; a bit grumpy, tired eyes, pouty lips— although there was no denying it; you seemed even grumpier today which didn’t surprise him. you were going through a hard time after all.

“hi, baby!” satoru greets you with a bright smile in hopes to erase whatever was bothering you, “i made you your favourite breakfast combo. i thought i’d surprise you today, but heh, guess you found out before i could.”

you didn’t even pay any mind to what was said nor did you look up at your lover even once. all your eyes were seeing was the complete mess all around the kitchen, on the tiles, counter and walls.

“satoru,” another deep sighs leaves your lips in attempt to calm your nerves and not lose your temper, “what’s all this?”

satoru hesitates a little to speak up once he senses the slight discomfort—no—irritation building up in you. he’s always been attentive to any changes in your mood and that’s how he easily comes to know when you’re upset. this moment was no different.

“hm? what?” satoru slowly asks, voice lower than it was previously. he really was trying not to accidentally strike a nerve, all the while keeping that big smile on his lips. there was a quiet voice in the back of his mind which was telling him that you were at the verge of breaking down. you’ve been on the edge since yesterday. it was only a matter of time for you to lose your temper.

thus, satoru decides to tread carefully, doing that by trying to change topics and feigning innocence. of course, he knew you meant the disaster in the kitchen, however he figured it’d be the right choice to make you forget about it;

“you mean this? it’s your favourite pancakes and—uhh— your favourite fruits and stuff. y’know what i realised this morning? cookin’ is really har—”

“don’t act dumb. you know damn well what i meant, gojo.”

the harsh words pierce through satoru’s soul. the tone of voice used by you sending an uncomfortable shiver down his spine. it was noticeable, the physical changes satoru went through in under two seconds: his smile dropped, lips slightly parting in mild shock, body freezing and eyes shaky as they looked back at yours.

the last thing he had expected was for you to be so stone cold to him. satoru never has heard you be this hostile against him throughout the entirety of your relationship, hence his reaction.

and the cherry on top? you using his family’s name to refer to satoru as an individual. the only ones using ‘gojo’ to refer to him were his students and strangers. it felt like your long, loving and strong relationship was shattered in that split second.

“b-baby, i..” he stumbles over his own words. what was there left to say, anyway? you clearly felt angry with him to the point your eyes were glaring at him like he was an enemy of yours. not a lover whom had only shown care and love for you all this time.

all satoru wanted was to make you happy. he didn’t want to upset you in any way, but you were too stressed out by everything to even notice his pure intentions. after all, a negative mindset drives you to hyper focus on all the negativity going on in your life.

“just get out.” you sigh as you walk past your lover, slightly bumping against the tall man which-surprisingly-makes him budge and stumble a step back, “i’ll clean this up.”

satoru didn’t even look at you anymore as his gaze was fixed on the cold tiles underneath his feet. there were a thousand questions going through his head. he didn’t want an answer to all of them. he only needed an answer to one:

“are you mad at me?”

satoru’s voice hadn’t sounded this weak and fragile in ages. in fact, satoru hadn’t felt his heart ache this bad in decades. he knows; he knows he messes up sometimes. the mistakes made in the past, which led to disappointment and even breaks of long lasting relationships, haunted him every night. he never blames others for leaving him since the only outcome of staying with him was disadvantageous.

you don’t answer that question, being too focused on cleaning the food and ingredients cluttered everywhere. the fact that you didn’t answer made satoru panic. even if he tried his best not to show his weakness in the moment.

if only he hadn’t made a mess, if only he didn’t try to do something he knew he wasn’t good at, if only.. he never stepped foot in this kitchen today; none of this would have happened. he wouldn’t have hurt another person who was dear to him.

satoru clenches his fists, white locks covering his eyes to hide the pain, panic and despair in them. there was a lump in the back of his throat, one which he had grown to get used to whenever things go wrong.

but, he can handle it; he can just push those feelings away and act like everything was okay. like he wasn’t hurt by your words. he should just go and help you clean up silently; with a smile on his face regardless. maybe it’d cheer you up— it’s always worth a try.

whilst being in hurtful moments like these, gojo satoru couldn’t help but be the most selfless person on earth.

“sorry. i’m sorry.” his voice breaks the uneasy silence between the two of you. without facing him, you could sense the devastation in his tone. satoru clenches his fists so hard that he could feel his nails making a small wound on the palm. he was trying his utter best not to break down in front of you, because that would be unlike him; unlike the strongest.

“please don’t be mad at me.” what he actually meant by that sentence was ‘please don’t leave me’. satoru’s eye twitches a little as tears begin to blur his vision. he turns his back at you so that you couldn’t notice them— or rather— can’t notice his vulnerability in general.

your movements come to an abrupt halt as your ears pick up on a small hitch of his breath. you knew it well; the little gasp of air before somebody starts crying. that’s when you snapped out of your angry trance, your whole demeanour mellowing instantly.

you turned your body sideways and bit your lip once you saw how satoru had his back turned to you—his shoulders trembling a bit from your point of view. you hesitantly took a few steps towards your lover and when you spoke, your voice was a complete opposite to its earlier used tone, “hey, satoru.”

silence.

you felt your heart break as you realised what you’ve said earlier and how bad it could’ve came across to satoru. your gaze falls on the plates he filled with your all time favourite dishes. the mess surrounding it was just evidence of his hard work— his love for you.

“baby.” you try again, placing a careful hand on satoru’s back. he’s never shown you a vulnerable side of his. you were always met with silly smiles or jokes, despite him being at his lowest.

satoru tensed up a bit as your hand came in contact with his body. it was not out of fear for you, but rather for the consequences of that touch. it was like he forgot all about your irritation from earlier and just set his attention on how you tried to comfort him.

a sigh leaves your lips before you step around satoru’s body to face him properly. his head was still held low and his snowy bangs kept covering his beautiful eyes, though there was no doubt about it: he was silently crying.

you reach out for him, pulling his head to rest on your chest, your other arm draped around his shoulders. soft pecks were placed all over his soft hair while his face was buried in your chest.

in a fraction of just a second, satoru’s entire body melts into your embrace. his arms wrap around your waist while his face was squished against your chest. your scent filled his nostrils which bought him a sense of safety and comfort since it meant that you were still with him. satoru sniffles quietly and squeezes you tightly like he doesn’t want to ever let go of you.

“i’m sorry, okay? i’m the one who should be sorry. not you. please forgive me for snapping at you.” you mumble, feeling the guilt hit you in big waves when you took note of the way satoru clung onto you.

quiet sobs, ones that left you devastated, filled the silence in the kitchen. the vibrations of satoru’s soft cries could be felt against your chest and it caused you to hug him tighter than before. you nuzzle your nose into his white, fluffy hair and plant a couple more kisses on his scalp which were meant for comfort.

constant apologies spill from your lips as you realise how bad you must’ve hurt the guy to get him to cry; if anyone else saw satoru straight up sob like this, they’d be baffled yet curious as to what could’ve made such an all time upbeat man finally break down.

all it actually took was you. the most dearest person in his life at the moment, to show a small amount of disappointment in him and satoru felt like his entire future was done for. because, what would a successful future be without you present? it’d all be meaningless, that’s for sure.

“it’s okay.” satoru finally manages to say, his voice hoarse from silently crying in your arms. he slowly pulls his head back to look at you. his blue eyes were glistening with tears, the corners a red hue from all the emotions flowing through him, “i should’ve been more careful.”

your heart sinks at the sight of your lover whom was still insisting on it being his fault. satoru was always like that, no matter the circumstances.

“no, it’s not your fault.” your fingers brushed away the crystal clear drops on satoru’s pale skin, “all you wanted to do was surprise me and make me happy. i shouldn’t have reacted like that.”

satoru looked up at you and then down at your fingers as they gently wiped off his tears. you treated him so delicately in this moment and he loved every second of it. a small smile crept on his face and he eventually nodded,

“thank you.” the two words were simple ones, however you could feel the gratitude radiating off satoru as he slowly regains his usual form. his white eyelashes were wet with tears, cheeks flushed and areas surrounding his eyes gaining a subtly red colour.

it didn’t take much for your lover to calm down. as long as he has you, he can have the entire world and its population against him and he’d still feel the best he ever was. as long as you stayed by his side and didn’t ignore him nor hate him, he’ll live his best life.

no one else mattered to the strongest except for you. and your validation.

“you’re beautiful.” you mutter as you take a good look at satoru’s face from up close. you’ve never seen him properly cry before, so this sight was a first. and oh, what was it an ethereal one.

satoru’s eyes widen in response and he raises his eyebrows at the comment you dropped out of nowhere. all the pain, frustrations and stress were sucked out of his system. from yours as well.

“aht aht, don’t start now, babe”. he playfully scolds while poking your cheek. satoru straightens his back and gazed down at you with that signature grin of his, “we both know you’re more beautiful.”

you giggle and shake your head. you know it’s coming up next; the compliment war. the only battle which satoru hadn’t won just yet. it always ends up with a draw since neither of you want to give up when it comes to showing your love to each orher.

its what strengthens your bond and made it to what it is today. small arguments or misunderstandings, such as the one from earlier, are no match to the purest form of love that lingers between the two of you.

neither satoru nor you will ever give up on your relationship. you both only have each other left in this world after all.

#sttoru writes.#jjk x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fic #jjk #jjk x you #jjk angst

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etheries1015 · 1 year ago

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Malleus X (Flirty and almost shameless) Reader - A...confession? Kind of?

warning: not really proof read, gender neutral reader

tw: None, maybe some second hand embarrassment BUAHA

"Prefect... I... I like you! I admire you, and I think you're so attractive and kind and you're always helping others-"

"I'm gonna stop you there. I'm flattered, I really am, and it takes a lot of courage to face your feelings like that. however I will let you know I am in fact in love with someone already, so I'm going to have to say no."

Malleus felt his heart drop into his stomach, he hadn't felt this way from such small words spoken by another person before. Before he knew it he found himself holding his breath, continuing to listen, hoping to hear you speak more in depth of this love you spoke fondly of. He continued to listen closely to the events transpiring before him, almost yearning for you to comfort his doubts.

"I-I see..." The other males voice said, cracking slightly, "well..I hope whoever they are...you're h-happy.." Another voice crack. He was defintently crying at this point. Foot steps scurried away from the dorm, as you let out a deep sigh and turned in the direction of the eavesdropper.

"Malleus, I can see your horns poking through the top of that pillar you 're attempting to hide behind. You're not very slick," you chuckled, to which Malleus revealed himself embarssingly from behind the pillar of the worn down building.

"...Apologies for eavesdropping, that's incredibly unbecoming of me. However, Who, might I ask, were you speaking about when you said you have someone else in your affections?" You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion before looking up at him with a tilted head, a look of pure confusion before you said,

"Who else? Of course it's you, Tsunotaro."

Malleus could not hide the obvious shock at this revelation, green eyes wide and jaw slacked open as if he was trying to find the words to reply yet nothing was coming out for nothing felt right to say in this moment. You were so brazen to confess your affections were for the draconic prince of Briar Valley in such an uncouth and 'improper' way? Malleus almost laughed out loud at this.

You must have felt that something was off with your confession in the way Malleus reacted, and quickly tried to remedy yourself.

"Oh, but i'll make sure to show that my feelings are true! I just wanted you to know right away that nobody else has my sights, yeah?" You giggled nervously, "Okay, how about this, we pretend that absolutely none of this happened, and you meet me at ramshackle! I have a suprise for you!"

"...Shall I consider this an official invite?"

"Of course!" You smiled brightly, "I, (y/n), prefect of Ramshackle dorm hereby officially invite you, Malleus Draconia, to a date located tonight at 8PM in the Ramshackle garden. Got it?" The bell rang signifying it was time for classes to begin, you had walked away from the fae waving and calling out;

"Don't be late! Tonight, at 8PM! I'll be sad if you're not there!!"

Malleus watched as your lively figure skipped away, smiling to himself he couldn't help but burst out in laughter.

"How shameless of them!" He snickered to himself, "I shall indeed look forward to how tonight's events unfold."

Although incredibly straight forward and unable to hide yourself, it was truly one of the biggest charms Malleus was attracted to. You always knew how to surprise him, and he was certain you would be the one for him, blunt or otherwise.

~~~

slowly but surely getting through my 20+ drafts...some are in here from over a year ago bro...

#twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland headcannons #twst headcannons #Malleus #Malleus x reader #Malleus draconia #Malleus Draconia x reader #Malleus draconia headcannons #malleus headcannons

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eleadore · 5 months ago

Note

top five scenes/lines/moments from drarry fic

rookie moves by peu_a_peu - not gonna lie, every single scene. but you put a gun to my head and make me pick just one, i'll pick two -

“You should’ve died, Draco,” Nott snarled. “If you had a shred of honor you’d have died.” “Well guess what, Theodore?” Malfoy said, with a horrible, mocking smile. “I don’t, and I lived.” Nott stared daggers into Malfoy. His hands went behind the armchair. Harry knew instantly: he was about to do something stupid. There was no time to do anything but give Malfoy a hard shove just as Nott cried, “Avada Kedavra!” A jet of green lightning cracked through the spot where Malfoy had just been standing, charging the air, hitting the wall with a terrible explosion. “What are you doing, Theodore?!” Malfoy wailed as he ducked for cover behind the couch. “We’re throwing AKs at ten in the morning?!”

jesus i've read it 800 times and i am as we speak gasping for air

McGonagall turned, and absorbed the other half of we. “Mr. Malfoy,” she said, quelling unsuccessfully what sounded like considerable shock. “Auror Malfoy,” Malfoy corrected her. “Professor.” “Well.” She blinked a number of times before speaking diplomatically. “I can’t say it’s the career I’d have predicted for you. But one’s former students do turn up in surprising fields.” Malfoy smiled the shit-eating smile of someone who couldn’t be given detention. Who was, in fact, medically calm. “It’s a calling.”

running on air by eleventy7 - you already know

Do you remember when we were eleven? Let's go back to that. I'll throw Remembralls into the sky and you can try to catch them. Sometimes I think you can just keep my wand. I think of all the Dark spells I performed, all the Unforgiveables I tried to cast with it. But then I remember when I was eleven years old, learning Lumos and casting mending charms, and it's hard to let go of that. So give me my wand, or give me a timeturner.

trouble, my old friend by tepre - the one with the fucking buttons

He says, “Tell me,” and Harry – running low on sleep, confused and aroused and altogether unfamiliar to this new world of desire – can’t quite keep himself in check. He wants, for a moment, simply wants, knows not what to do with it, where to direct it, and the feeling bubbles like wild magic. He realises a fraction too late that no, not like, but magic – staring at the spot where Malfoy’s scar disappears below the high collar of his shirt. The stiff hem of the doublet, buttoned shut over his Adam’s apple. With a small sound, the top button of the doublet pops open. Then the second, the third. Malfoy sucks in a breath.

ain't no friend of mine by lettered - when harry's being a little bitch and dog!draco simply will not stand for it

Potter slammed open the door. For a moment he just stared down at Draco with that annoying face of his, with the insane hair, and the disfigured scar. Then he yanked the slobbery scarf out of Draco's mouth, and said, low and tight, "Leave me the fuck alone, why don't you; don't you see I don't bloody care; I don't want anyone near me; I DON'T WANT YOU; I NEVER WANTED YOU; GO AWAY!" And Draco all the sudden remembered why he'd joined the Inquisition Squad. Potter in fifth year had been exactly like this and it was really annoying.

draco malfoy's substitute murder service by oknowkiss - the one where draco hands harry his business card

Harry reads the card again. Flips it over. Looks at Draco, watches him sip his tea. Notices one of his bra straps is showing. Reads the card a third time. Fails to make sense of anything at all. “Have you lost your goddamn fucking mind?” Harry snaps, throwing the card back at Draco. “What in the absolute shit is this?” “Did you read the card?” Draco asks. He tucks it back into his bra. “I feel like you’re asking questions that have all been answered by the card.”

bonus 1: if an injury is to be inflicted by shealwaysreads - when draco meets ron and hermione The Morning After

Draco’s smile threatened to bloom into genuine delight at the look on her face. He had dressed deliberately casually, forgoing his usual high-collared robes for a pair of charcoal grey trousers and a pale grey shirt; open at the collar to expose the mess Potter made of his neck and collarbones. She opened and shut her mouth twice, before Weasley broke the silence and stepped towards Draco, towing Granger along with him.

bonus 2: owl was well by fencer_x - when draco flies to the burrow bc he's "bored" and gets beat up by crookshanks

“Er,” Potter said, giving Draco a comfortable berth of several steps. “That was Crookshanks. Hermione’s cat. We’re gonna watch him while she and her folks are in Germany for the holiday to visit family in Dusseldorf.” He frowned to himself, brows knitting in confusion. “I thought he could see through Animagus transformations, though. I’m not sure why he’d attack—oh. Guess he recognised you.” Oh, indeed. Draco ran his fingers through his hair—he probably looked a fright now. “I suppose it’s going to hold a grudge against me for all nine of its lives, then.”

ask me top 5/10 anything

#i couldve done 800 of these but it is 9am on a monday #eleasnore #top five

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almond-moons-blog · 7 days ago

Text

Oh how the Tables Have Turned

Summary:

Right after The Six Legged Pentathlon, and after the group really started to gain trust in eachother, Hyun-Ju finds Young-Mi facing some doubts. She tries to help, but ended up getting the tables turned on her, and sealing away her fate, and pride in the process.

Warnings: ten tons of absolute marshmallow type fluff-

Lee: Hyun-Ju (slight ler near ending)

Ler: Young-Mi (slight lee near ending)

The numbers on the clock ticked by, signaling lights out soon. The team just had a victory earlier that day, albeit by a very close call. So maybe that's why Young-Mi was feeling down.

She couldn't exactly pinpoint why she felt this way, but she had a idea, and it was clear the feeling was fear.. they had a close call this time, who's to say it won't be too late tomorrow?

As Young-Mi sat curled up on her bunk, Hyun-Ju took notice of this, and there was no way she was just going to walk past, knowing her little sister friend was upset.

Hyun Ju's expression morphed into a slight frown as she saw Young-Mi, but she the plastered on a comforting smile, and sat next to Young-Mi.

"Hey.. you alright..?" she asked, worry and slight concern seeping through her smiling facade, eventually dropping it a bit to show Young-Mi she was worried. She then hesitantly and carefully placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Young-Mi hesitated. She felt fearful about the thought of what Hyun-Ju might think of her worries, but at the same, it's Hyun-Ju. There's no way she'd do that, and there's no way Young-Mi could bring herself to lie to her.

"I.. no.." Young-Mi stammered, pausing as she tilted her head to the side slightly to face Hyun-Ju as she paused, before eventually continuing in a shaky mumble.

"I-im scared.."

Hyun-ju's faze softened immediately into a now genuinely comforting gaze. She then moved a bit closer to Young-Mi and spoke softly. "Hey.. we all are.. it's nothing to be ashamed of.." She spoke, her voice oozing with comfort.

Young-Mi blinked, glancing to the side. "I know.. but.. today we almost lost Unnie.. who's to say that we'll make it at all during the next game..?"

Hyun-ju's eyes softened more at the Unnie comment, but understood Young-Mi's concerns. "Hey.. look at me.." She spoke, taking Young-Mi's hands in her own. Her go-to way of comfort.

"I know today was a close call.. but.. we have a strong team.. we're gonna make it through these games.. I believe in you.. we'll survive, I promise.." She spoke, rubbing Young-Mi's hand comfortingly with her thumb.

Young-Mi couldn't help but Crack a small, soft smile at Hyun-ju's insistence. She instinctively returned Hyun-ju's gesture as she looked up at her, but that's when it immediately started going south, at least for Hyun-Ju.

Young-Mi's hands were placed in a way where her thumb was directly on Hyun-ju's palm, so that's exactly where she felt the small tracing motions, and obviously, it tickled.

As soon as Hyun-Ju felt the tingly sensation, she knew she was done for if Young-Mi put two and two together.

A small squeak escaped her lips, and it turned into a small stiffled giggle as she instinctively flinched away.

Young-Mi blinked in surprise as she froze for a moment, she didn't quite understand at first, so she reached back for Hyun-ju's palm and repeated the small motion, only to receive a similar reaction.

As soon as this happened, the gears immediately began to turn inside her head, making the connection, and getting the one idea that scared Hyun-Ju most right now.

Hyun-ju could clearly see what she was thinking, and the panic was clear on her face, albeit light-hearted.

"Y-Young-Mi.. we-we can talk about this.." She stammered, trying to back away slowly on the bunk, but Young-Mi followed her movements.

"Unnie.." She responded back as her plan finished formulating in her mind. She had tested the waters, so there was no way she was passing this up.

She then moved forward and wrapped Hyun-Ju in a loose hug. Hyun-Ju was just about to return the hug and relax, but that was quickly changed.

While Young-Mi had Hyun-ju's guard down, she tightened the small hug slightly, before softly tracing small shapes onto her sides and occasionally skittering her fingers across Hyun-ju's stomach, much to her dismay.

Hyun-ju immediately slammed her hand over her mouth to stiffle her laughs out of embarrassment as she gently tried to wrestle Young-Mi off of her, although to no avail.

"W-wait! Young-Mi-! St-stahp..! Pleasee..!" She tried, still trying to muffle her small bouts of laughter.

Young-Mi couldn't help but let out a small laugh of her own at Hyun-ju's reaction. "Nooo!~" she spoke in a slight sing-song voice, as she was starting to get used to this, and get a bit confident. It was nice to hear the woman laugh in such a silly way, so if Young-Mi could do something to make that happen, she would absolutely go through with said action.

Hyun-ju had completely given up on the attempts to push her off, because one, she didn't want to hurt Young-Mi, or her feelings, and two, she seemed pretty persistent on her plan no matter what. So, Hyun-ju just had to settle on at least trying to be as quiet as she could, though that plan had failed pretty quickly since Young-Mi countined like this for a few minutes.

But after a little bit, Young-Mi decided that it was time to wrap up the tickle session pretty soon, and let the poor woman have a break.

But, since she knew she was about to end this, she wanted to make the final moments count.

So, after thinking for a moment, she decided to move spots for a bit. And that spot, was her Unnie's hips.

Hyun-ju was dead.

She almost immediately squealed and broke into uncontrollable giggles as her movements became a bit more panicked.

Young-Mi ultimately decided that she'd had enough, and went back to loosely hugging Hyun-Ju, like she had done before all this had began.

Hyun-ju then caught her breath as the remaining giggles dissolved into the air, and her gaze and movements immediately softened at the sight and feeling of Young-Mi's gentle actions. After she fully came back to her senses, she wrapped her arms around Young-Mi, returning the hug as she laid back slightly, still holding Young-Mi as if she was her own family.

"Your lucky I care about you.." Hyun-Ju mumbled softly with a teasing edge to her voice as she tilted her head slightly, poking Young-Mi in the side gently.

Young-Mi couldn't help but curl up and giggle a bit at the small gesture, though it would be a lie if she said that she didn't enjoy it.

As Young-Mi giggled, Hyun-ju's gaze softened even more, if it was even possible at that point. She then sighed softly and ruffled Young-Mi's hair affectionately.

Hyun-ju didn't go back to her bunk that night, and it was pretty safe to say they got a nice amount of sleep for the first time since they entered these stupid games.

Although it definitely earned some teasing from Geum-Ja in the morning once she found them..

They didn't regret one little moment.

Authors Note:

OMGG I LUV HOW THIS CAME OUT IM GENUINELY TWEAKING OUTTT ❤❤ these sillies need more happiness, and we're gonna pretend this is an AU where Young-Mi doesn't die, mkay? Also, I would like to tag this alpha: @estelle-skully, as alot of Young-Mi and Hyun-ju's mannerisms in this fic came from they're Hyun-Ju headcanons and overall opinions and ideas, so anyone who's reading this, be sure to check out that sigma's blog. Trust me, it's worth it.

#squid game #squid game tickles #Ticklish!Hyun-Ju #lee!hyun ju #ler!young mi #tickle fluff #tickle fic #silly goofy mood

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quoththemaiden · 1 year ago

Text

A short (~1k) scene inspired by Chapter 9 of @mrghostrat's absolutely glorious Big Name Feelings human AU fic. Hope you like arms?

"C'mon, angel, not even gonna crack a smile at that one? Whales, get it? Whales."

Aziraphale felt like his cheeks were on fire from trying to keep a straight face at Crowley's increasingly terrible puns. "I would hate to tacitly encourage this behavior."

"Pfft, you love it." Crowley grinned at him, far past being undaunted and fully into the realm of being energized by Aziraphale's failed attempts at stoicism.

"You're utterly ridiculous." Aziraphale didn't even bother trying to make it sound like an insult, and the half of the screen taken up by his webcam made it clear his cheeks were as pink as they felt. "And I can't help but feel like you're stalling. Hadn't we agreed to be actually productive today?" Aziraphale didn't mind, really; he did want to keep making steady progress on his art, but if his life could consist of coming home from work and just unwinding with Crowley...

...but, well, that wasn't the purpose of this call.

Crowley groaned. "Yeah, yeah. What a taskmaster."

"It is my job to protect you from rabid fans, after all," Aziraphale teased right back.

"O Brave Guardian, protect me from procrastination!"

"That sounds rather harder than a dragon, I'm afraid. But if you don't get to work, I won't be able to work either, and then you won't get to see the finished piece."

"Urk—" Crowley made a strangled noise and finally reached for his mouse. "You'll actually be working on it?"

Aziraphale nodded before adjusting his webcam to show his tablet a bit more. "I really need to get more practice with this, to get half as confident as I am with physical paints."

"I've seen the drawings you've done! They're fucking brilliant."

Aziraphale laughed. "You've said that about everything I've shown you. I'm starting to think I should send you some stick figures as a test."

"Those would be the most adorable fucking stick figures ever. You could draw a whole comic of just stick figures and I'd reblog it a hundred times."

"That's about what I'd expect you to say, yes." Crowley opened his mouth to protest that his compliments were always earnest, and Aziraphale cut him off. "Weren't you going to start writing?"

"Ngghh, right, yeah. Alright, lemme just pull up my docs and then we'll get started bodydoubling for real." Crowley clicked over to screenshare his window as he opened his fic notes. He'd long since stopped hiding anything from Aziraphale; getting to bounce ideas off of him was too invigorating, and his heart always sang at getting to write down his name with official beta credit. (He'd also long since stopped pretending to himself that he'd ever felt quite the same way about any other beta.)

"Good lord." Aziraphale sounded more than faintly appalled, and Crowley felt offended for a moment before taking a proper look at what was on his screen. It was currently showing the notes he'd made at 3 AM this morning, when he'd woken up from a dream and jotted down what had, at the time, felt like a brilliant scene. As always, he'd had his eyes mostly-closed the whole time and his swipes had been clumsy at best, but as long as it got the general point across, he was always satisfied. It only wound up being a usable scene about half the time, but he wasn't about to turn down free inspiration when he could get it. He quickly read through the imagery he'd written down.

They switch rolled over and opened their eyes. In the still morning sunlight they could set the witchfinder still sleeping cloudy enough to touch: his head ears cradled on his arms, the misos slack with sleep but still clearly there under surface. The words knew from experience that if he were awakened stable the strength would flour back into them in an instant ray for a fight. The wishes couldn't help but think odd other things they might but tray for as well

Crowley paled. "I— that—"

"I mean, it's. Well. It's rather avant-garde."

Crowley froze. "I, uh—"

"'The misos?' And 'flour?'"

Crowley stuttered out of his bluescreen and hastily opened another tab, the screenshare automatically switching over. Aziraphale had read it, but he clearly hadn't actually understood it. As long as he didn't give him enough time to crack the cipher that was 3 AM notetaking, Crowley could bluff his way through it. "Zuh. Yeah. Wrote that down in the middle of the night when I got an idea of where I wanted to start the next scene off."

"And you could recognize any of that?" The camera jostled a little as Aziraphale shook his head. "I suppose I wouldn't do any better if I tried sketching out an idea in the dark." He picked up his stylus and started doodling simple shapes, warming up and re-acclimatizing himself to the responsiveness of the device. He was still getting used to the new medium, but he was finally starting to see a path forward to making a digital art style that felt authentically his own.

"Yessss." Crowley bit his tongue to cut off the guilty hissing. It definitely didn't help that the webcam was doing a very awkward job of catching the tablet screen but showed a very distracting hint of Aziraphale's forearms. The forearms he had, at 3 AM, apparently woken up from a dream about and been so inspired by that he'd felt the need to immortalize them in fanfiction.

"Well, I shall be interested in seeing how that gets transformed into comprehensible English."

"Right, definitely." Crowley was typing gibberish and backspacing over it quickly, more to hide how much attention he was having to devote to this conversation than out of an actual need to warm up his fingers. "Right, definitely focusing on writing now!"

Aziraphale laughed as he cleared his tablet screen and pulled up his WIP, shifting into concentration mode himself. He did enjoy the early days they had spent where their hours of "bodydoubling" were really nothing more than talking and laughing together, but being able to be quietly productive with someone else, knowing they were there with you without needing to be in the same room, that they were sharing your same wavelength without needing to say a word... that simple sense of togetherness brought with it such a deep feeling of comfort that he thought it might be an even more profound, longer-lasting sense of joy than their early days of giddy laughter had given. The strokes of his stylus turned smoother and more confident as he got into the flow, his eyes focused on his own screen and only vaguely aware of the lines of text growing across Crowley's.

Eventually, Crowley calmed down as well, and the text growing on his screen even started to make sense. And he made sure it had absolutely nothing to do with forearms.

Translation of the deleted 3 AM scene:

The witch rolled over and opened their eyes. In the early morning sunlight, they could see the witchfinder still sleeping close enough to touch. His head was cradled on his arms, the muscles slack with sleep but still clearly there under the surface. The witch knew from experience that if he were awakened, the strength would flow back into them in an instant, ready for a fight. The witch couldn't help but think of other things they might be ready for as well.

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #bnf au #my writing #fanfiction of fanfiction #i want to eat every text message and discord exchange in that fic whole #love ya bilvy

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shotanzz · 1 year ago

Note

hii can u do sohee as bf?

SOHEE AS YOUR BF based on astrology ~

reminder: this is for fun and astrology is smth I study for a hobby, these are all inferences based off of observations and not exact fact unless I knew him myself !!

Scorpio Sun: The stereotype that scorpios suns are secretive is so played out they're just technically shy imo im sorry LMFAOOO. Once a scorpio fully trusts you or has something they genuinely want to tell you they just keep GOING. And the same probably applies to him especially since his Mercury is in Sag. In the beginning he might seem hard to crack or not one to spare many details but once he's sure of you and you two are officially together and solidified oh he's a plain open book. Ofc he's not gonna pour every aspect of his heart out but being secretive really won't be an issue. He has an aspect of sun and uranus so he won't really act in ways that aren't true to him, his freedom, or expression so he'd practice authenticity even within the relationship so you better be in it for the real him !!

Libra Moon: Similar to Wonbin he'd be pretty considerate and would weigh pros and cons before doing anything to ensure fairness. His chart makes up of placements centered around truth, fairness and morals so ngl being equal+in balance is something he'd want for the relationship. Sometimes there's a tendency for Libra moons to end up complacent or non argumentative to keep the peace but I think it wouldn't be as severe considering his sag placements. Rather than being complacent he'd be pretty passive, he'd be willing to engage in trivial debates and significant convos but wouldn't break his neck to prove his point or show that he's right unless it was absolutely necessary. His moon is sextile his venus so emotional balance is crucial so he'd avoid constant disturbances in the relationship so you two remain in harmony; downside he might become TOO passive and too invested in harmony to where needed conflicts are dismissed or he doesn't express himself fully.

Sagittarius Mercury: So...blunt LMFAOO. Honestly Sohee probably says crazy stuff or is more sassy behind closed doors he has sm mercury aspects even some with pluto and mars. He might be conflicted sometimes, has moments of being super blunt and even saying stuff without thinking and then his libra moon brings him back into peaceful mode and he's like "uuuhm my bad". Probably likes fake arguing or small debates. Makes fun of you most definitely but compared to Eunseok it'd be easy for him to apologize if he realized it was too far or hurt you. Instead of yelling he might talk pretty fast and "word vomit" whenever he's dealing with big emotions or anger (especially with his mercury square mars) and due to this he might go quiet during arguments (if they ever even happen) because he knows when dealing with his outbursts he could say the wrong thing or be hurtful when not meaning to. Likes to be playful and even a bit nonserious and childish in convos and tries to make things lighthearted.

Sagittarius Venus: Sigh omg a bestfriend and boyfriend in one quite LITERALLY. Sag Venus has a hard time settling down because they value their freedom and life path so much and they don't really get into -serious- relationships unless they're genuinely enamored with you and can see you fitting into their expanding life. So once he's with you and realizes he's actually in love with you and it's beyond just flirting and pining he's essentially all in. Freedom will be evident in the relationship and there may not be a super specific power dynamic laid out outside of the cheesy "look at how my gf takes care of me.”. He wouldn't abandon his career for the relationship but wouldn't completely abandon the relationship as a whole either but just know there'd be an attempt to split both. He'd be loving and wouldn't be too restricting, flirts via jokes quite literally he would end up being the funniest man you know especially with that sag mercury on top. He values optimism and change and would implement that into the relationship as well.

Pisces Mars: His Sag Venus paired with his mars could show that he'd be ok with someone being the initiator or taking the lead but would still be ok with wanting your attention and doing things to get it (not in a toxic way ofc) . Like he'd want to impress you with unconventionally/casual romantic things or "best friend dates" that soon lead to more. Aw man he's probably a friends to lovers trope type of man like anton :((. Tbh him having a Sag Venus + Pisces Mars such a chill relationship like I said earlier it'd be just like dating your friend.

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hippiegoth97 · 29 days ago

Text

Into the Fire: An Eddie Munson x Reader Story Pt. 43

Collage by me :)

Master List

Part 42

Tag List: @keikoraven @ar-jupiter @alcielo1438 @cairro-xx @stolen-in-moonlight

@micheledawn1975 @janiejenn @rafescvntyclubgf @melodymunson @spacedoutdaydreamer

@veemoon @sariahs-stuff @feral-pumpkin-energy @comeonatmebruh @munsoneightysixx

@morgthemagpie @josephquinnsfreckles @jenniquinn @songbirdmunson @cometzombie

@spookybabey @daggerdaggerkitten @nina6708 @sanctumdemunson @yourdailymemedelivery

@person-005 @slowandsteddie @gri959 @elegantkoalapaper @letitgoandletlive

@loserboysandlithium @costellation-hunter @leelei1980 @h-ness1944 @pretendthisnameisclever

@ohmeg @stalactitekilla @hellfirenacht @birdysaturne @oneforthemunny

@prettyboyeddiemunson @eddievanmunson @msgexymunson @rattkween86 @violetpixiedust

@bimbobaggins69 @angel-munson @eldermayfield @munsonsbtch @bimbogorewhore

@mediocredreams @bloodibambiidoll @taintedcigs @ali-r3n @emxxblog @losingmygrasponreality

Content Warning 18+ Only, Minors DNI: swearing, light anxiety, smoking, crying, mentions of dead parents, anger, fluff

Word Count: 6.6k

divider by @strangergraphics

Part 43: Celebration

Friday, June 8th, 1990

You stand in front of your bedroom mirror, inspecting yourself as you smooth down the front of your black graduation gown. Your hair is straightened, the ends sitting right at your shoulders. You've applied subtle makeup to your face, rosy pink lipstick on your pout. You take a deep breath, reaching for your cap that's resting on the dresser. You look it over for a moment, namely the tassel with a 'Class of 1990' charm laced onto it. You smile to yourself, before bringing the cap to your head. You slip it on, straightening it out while trying to avoid messing up your hair. Today is the day. After four long years of working your ass off, you're finally graduating from college.

"You ready, sweetheart? We're gonna be late." Eddie calls to you from the living room, currently dangling feathers on a string in front of Arwen while she tries to jump up and catch them.

"Yeah. Coming." You call back, giving yourself a final once-over. Your reflection smiles back at you, all dressed up and ready to go. You feel ready, too. To transition from a dutiful, diligent student, into an educated adult. You take another deep breath, calming your nerves before leaving the room. You walk down the hall to meet Eddie, finding him playing with the cat. He hears your heels clicking on the floor, looking up at you. His mouth cracks into a wide smile, immediately abandoning the cat to get to you.

"Well, hot damn! Look at you, bookworm!" He exclaims, making you giggle as he takes your hands in his. "I'm so proud of you, Y/N. You've worked hard for this." Eddie continues, absolutely beaming with joy at your achievement. "You ready?" He asks you again, noticing your hands shaking in his grasp.

"Yeah. I am." You answer assuredly, nodding your head. Your tassel sways at the movement.

"Good." He says, giving you a rewarding peck. "We'd better get going." He pulls away, picking up your purse to hand it to you.

"Shit, I need my speech." You say abruptly, about to dash back down the hall for it. But Eddie stops you.

"I already put it in your bag, angel. I knew you'd be worried about losin' it." He chuckles, putting you at ease.

"Thanks, Eds." You sigh in relief, peeking inside the purse just to make sure. The little note cards are safely tucked inside, in between your wallet and compact mirror. "Okay. Let's go!" You chirp, ready to get this show on the road.

You've been awarded the coveted opportunity to give the commencement speech at the ceremony, as you're graduating with highest honors. Everyone you know is coming, sure to take up a good chunk of seats in the auditorium to cheer you on. Later, there's to be a rehearsal dinner hosted at Applebee's in preparation for yours and Eddie's nuptials in two days. What can you say? Neither of you want to wait a second longer than necessary to get hitched. You promised your mother that you'd hold off until you at least finish school, but she never specified exactly how long to wait after you get that diploma. But, there's been no complaints about it from her, or anyone else. It's a special day that belongs to you and Eddie, so no one else truly has any say over it.

You drive to the college in the Datsun, having to speed a little to make it on time. You barely take a moment to give Eddie a kiss good-bye once you park, zooming off towards the auditorium to get backstage and in place. You rehearsed for the ceremony last week with the Dean, and a few other students who'll lead each section in alphabetical order to walk across the stage. The Dean greets you as you enter the wings of the auditorium, hurriedly leading you to the spot where you'll wait for her to announce you to the audience. You put your purse somewhere safe, taking the note cards out and shuffling them around to make sure they're all in order. Your hands shake, nearly dropping them all onto the floor. Keep it together, you've got this. You reassure yourself, swallowing thickly. You can hear the cacophony of voices on the other side of the heavy velvet curtains, hundreds of overlapping voices anxiously waiting for the ceremony to begin. You try not to remind yourself of just how many people can fit in all those seats, but your brain has other ideas. You're worried that you're going to choke out there, or worse yet, lose your lunch all over the podium.

"Hey, Y/N! You excited?" Jamie approaches you from his spot in line, checking up on you. He's noticed you poring over your speech whenever you've had downtime at work these last couple weeks.

"If by excited, you mean nauseous, then sure. I'm stoked." You reply queasily. You swear you can feel your face turning a sickly shade of green.

"Oh, don't say that. You're gonna do great! If there's anyone I know who can do this, it's you. Besides, you're the smartest girl in our class." He tries to put you at ease, taking your clammy hand in his. "Relax, Y/N. You could go out there and tell a bunch of knock-knock jokes, and still end up sounding like a genius." Jamie chuckles, drawing a light laugh from you as well. His words coax your stomach acid back where it belongs, heart no longer racing, breathing steadying once more.

"You're right. I'm overthinking things." You give him a smile as a wave of relief washes over you. All you needed was a familiar face in this crowd of students waiting in the wings to set you straight. You wish Eddie could've been the one to deliver these last-minute words of encouragement, but he's stuck in the audience at the moment. Fuck it. As long as it comes from someone you trust, it'll get the job done.

"Alright, places, everyone!" Dean Edwards addresses you all, clapping her hands together. She's looking very nice this afternoon, dressed in a red power suit with matching sensible shoes and flawlessly set curls. "Now, Y/N, I'll announce you after I welcome everybody and thank them for coming. Then, you'll give your speech." She recites the plan one last time for everybody, ensuring no one forgets at the last second. "Then, you'll find your place in line, and we'll start calling names. Now, remember to smile, everyone! And no rude gestures, no immature stunts! We're here to celebrate all your hard work, and we don't need any funny business today. Got it?" She asks, awaiting a resounding 'yes, ma'am'. The student body agrees to her terms, ready to get this shit moving already. "Good. Here we go, the beginning of the rest of your lives." She smiles with pride, signaling to the volunteers behind the scenes to open up the curtains. The heavy sheets of red part ways, pulling along to opposite sides of the stage. Edwards makes her way to the podium, heels clicking on the floor as she walks. She clears her throat, leaning into the mic to speak.

"Good afternoon, and welcome to the graduation ceremony of Hawkins Community College Class of 1990." A round of applause breaks out in the crowd, and the Dean waits a moment for it to die down. "I think I speak for everyone when I say that we're all very proud to be here today. Families, friends, faculty, underclassmen, and graduates. We've all gathered here to see another accomplished batch of young people see their way out of our halls, and into the wonderful world of adulthood." She pauses to make room for another round of whoops and cheers. "One student in particular has far exceeded this university's expectations, setting a historical record of a consistent, spotless grade point average for her entire four-year career at this school. The first to do so at this university, as well as any other university in the state of Indiana. Without further ado, I'd like to welcome to the stage, graduating with highest honors, Ms. Y/N Henderson!" Edwards steps aside now, clapping her hands for you, as does the entire auditorium.

You walk out onto the stage, head held high as you make your way to the podium. You smile wide, finding your personal cheerleaders in the crowd. Mom, Dustin, Wayne, Ian and James, the Sinclair's, the Wheeler's, Steve, Chrissy with JJ in her lap, Robin, the Hopper/Byers Clan, Angie and her kids, the members of Corroded Coffin, everybody from the Hawk, even Dotty and her husband. And most importantly, Eddie, the love of your life. All sat in the rows of seats, cheering you on. Your heart swells at finding them all sitting there, here to see you on one of your proudest days. You never thought in a million years that you'd have so many people that love and care for you. This past year has been absolutely chock full of surprises, both good and bad. But, gaining this massive family to call yours is definitely one of the sweetest. You reach the podium, setting your note cards down on its slanted surface. You follow in the Dean's footsteps, clearing your throat and gathering yourself before you speak.

"Thank you, Dean Edwards. Good afternoon, fellow graduates, esteemed faculty, proud parents, and distinguished guests. It's a privilege to stand before you today, awarded with highest honors." You read from your cards, addressing your audience. Once these words leave your lips, however, the rest of your speech feels... wrong. You've spent so long 'perfecting' it. Reading numerous books about writing speeches, constantly editing and rewriting, even throwing the whole thing out to start over a couple of times. Despite all of that stressing, and practicing in the bathroom mirror with the door locked, you realize now that this over-rehearsed piece of crap just won't do. "Um..." You hold the now useless cards in your hands, shaking your head. Your eyes meet the crowd again, locking onto Eddie's, who's looking rather worried. He probably thinks you're going to either flip out, pass out, or run away. But none of that is happening today. Not a chance.

After a period of silence that feels like eternity, though it's only a few seconds, you open your mouth to speak again. "I'm sorry. I've just realized that none of this is what I want to say." You laugh lightly, waving your little bundle of cards before tossing them to the side. Dean Edwards gives you an odd look, wondering what kind of stunt you're trying to pull here. You take a deep breath, deciding to wing it. You know in your heart what you want to say, and it's far better than the bullshit you've spent weeks planning. "Look, I could bore you all with a cliché, trite speech full of inspirational quotes and repetitive phrases. But after four years, I think we've all earned more than that." You say with purpose, straightening your shoulders. You can feel a few hundred pairs of eyes staring at you inquisitively, wondering if the 'star student' has finally cracked under the pressure. But they couldn't be more wrong. "What I'm trying to say, is that this town has been through a lot these last few years. Hawkins may be a miniscule blip on the map, but we've seen enough hardship, and triumph, to rival the largest cities in the world."

"Speaking from experience, this past year alone has been a rollercoaster I was unwittingly strapped into. There were a lot of times where I just wanted off, to hide away and ignore the world in front of me. I lost my father, I testified against a past abuser in court, and for a minute there, I nearly threw away the greatest love of my life." You continue, completely off-script. But as you scan over the crowd, you can tell they're receptive to it. "In spite of all these painfully difficult things, I persevered. It would be so easy to say I did that all on my own, but it's a universal truth that no man, or woman, is capable of that. I owe a good majority of my strength, my pursuit to push forward no matter what comes my way, to the people who have been there for me in my darkest moments. My mom, my brother, my friends, and my lovely fiancé." You smile, finding their eyes again. They reflect your expression, giving approving nods.

"But, enough about me. This day is about all of us. Like Dean Edwards said, what's taking place today is a vital change in our lives. We're growing up, starting our careers, taking the tools we've been given and applying them out in the world. That prospect can be terrifying for most, we get too accustomed to a routine. Going to class, taking notes, writing papers, studying for exams. Partying, for some of us." You earn a light chuckle and a couple whoops from the crowd at that. "Then one day, it's all over. And whether we feel ready for it or not, it's here. But I think一 no, I know, that the class of 1990 is ready for it. We're this town's future, and I can honestly say that it's never looked brighter." You speak emphatically, sensing that it's about time to wrap it up. "And on that note, I propose we light up this room with the beautiful faces of this graduating class!" You finish your speech, bringing everyone to their feet as they applaud and cheer for you.

Dean Edwards gives you a moment to bask in the applause, before coming over to you. "Great job, Ms. Henderson. Short and sweet. You had me worried for a minute there." She says quietly to you.

"So did I." You reply, overjoyed that you didn't make a total fool of yourself. She gestures for you to leave as the noise dies down, and you find your place in line with the 'H's. Your heart is nearly bursting, unable to believe that you not only went rogue (which is so unlike you), but that you actually managed to pull it off.

"That was amazing, Y/N. And you didn't even barf!" Jamie jokes from the row beside you, giving your elbow a small poke with his finger.

"Thanks, Jamie." You giggle, relieved that all you have to do now is wait for your name to be called and receive your diploma. It's all smooth sailing from here on out.

"Pomp and Circumstance" plays over the sound system, and Dean Edwards starts calling the students to the stage one by one, moving their tassels from one side of their cap to the other, and handing them their diploma before they head straight on the other end of the backstage area. Families and friends cheer for their graduates, whooping and hollering with intense pride. Jamie's name gets called next as he's far earlier in the alphabet than you, and you give a cheer from your spot for him. He receives a good share of noise, undoubtedly from his parents and your coworkers at the Hawk. It takes a good while for your turn to come up, but you slowly inch closer to the spot where you'll be prompted back onstage as name after name is called. It's a good thing you wore comfortable shoes, or else your feet would be killing you by now.

"Y/N Henderson!" Edwards calls your name finally, and you immediately hear everyone who came here for you erupt in raucous elation. You dare to look over at where they're seated as you walk over to get your diploma. Mom is crying profusely with joy, holding that damn polaroid camera up to her mascara-stained eye. Dustin is jumping up and down, clapping almost violently as he cries your name in excitement. Eddie's got his hands cupped around his mouth for maximum volume, shouting out how proud he is, how much he loves you. The others are just as rowdy, not giving a single shit how unseemly their overzealousness may look to the other attendees. They came here to cheer you on, and they're damn well gonna do it. You can't help cracking a huge smile at their antics, simultaneously embarrassed and entertained. That's family for you. The Dean hands you your diploma, moving your tassel just like she has all the others. "That's some family you've got there." She comments kindly, and all you can do is nod. You move along, finding Jamie to hang around him until this thing is all over.

"I guess you lost your speech after all, bookworm." Eddie teases once you find him and the others in the parking lot after the ceremony has drawn to a close and the auditorium has been cleared out. His arm slips around your waist immediately, his head leaning towards yours to give you a brief kiss.

"Guess I did." You reply, still grinning as all the excitement hasn't left you yet.

"Well, I thought it was just wonderful, sugarpuff! I'm so proud of you!" Mom practically squeals, nudging Eddie out of the way to give you a suffocating hug.

"Thanks, Mom." You strain, barely able to breathe in her hold.

"Nice job up there, kiddo." Hopper grins, Joyce on his hip as always.

"Totally! The way you just threw your speech away and winged it? So badass!" Robin adds. The others join the conversation, their compliments and congratulations overlapping as they all talk in an animated manner. Mom also insists on everyone taking pictures with you in your cap and gown, holding up your diploma while wearing a cheesy smile. It's a bit overwhelming, if you're being honest. You smile and nod, accepting their statements with gratitude as Mom snaps photo after photo.

"Alright, alright. I think she's had enough, guys." Eddie cuts in, noticing the rather dizzy look on your face once everybody gets their turn. "We'd better get goin', if you wanna have time to make that stop before dinner." He says to you, and you nod.

"I really appreciate you all coming today, it means everything to me. If it wasn't clear already, it's having all of you in my life that inspired me to speak from the heart like that." You announce to your large gathering.

"Oh, you're gonna make me cry again!" Mom sniffles.

"I have a feeling there'll be a lot of that this weekend, Mom." Dustin chimes in, rolling his eyes.

"As I was saying, we'll see you guys at Applebee's for dinner. Eddie and I just have a small errand to run." You pull the focus back on you, bidding the others farewell until you meet up again at the restaurant. They give you friendly waves and parting words back, and Eddie leads you back to the car. "You mind driving, Eds?" You ask him as you reach the Datsun.

"Sure thing, sweetheart. You doin' okay? Today's been kinda crazy." He replies with concern, taking the keys when you hand them to him.

"Yeah, I'm good. This is just gonna be really hard." You say, giving him a small smile as you slide into the passenger seat.

"I know, babydoll. But you can do it. And I can come with you, if that'll help." Eddie offers, putting the keys in the ignition, taking hold of your hand once the car starts.

"No, I have to do this on my own. One last difficult thing, and then we can focus on the happiest day of our lives." You sigh, squeezing his hand. He squeezes back, pulling out of the parking lot to head over the Roane County Cemetery.

During the entire span of the wedding planning process, your mother has been commenting on the fact that your father isn't here to see any of it. She hadn't really done that before his death, too pissed at him to waste a single syllable lamenting the loss of him witnessing your milestones. She must've gotten it out of her system in all those letters she used to send to him and Angie. Now that she no longer has that outlet, Dad's name has been leaving her lips a lot around you. You'd love to say that it hasn't been weighing on you, that you don't give a rat's ass that he's not here to see you thriving. As much as it kills you to admit it, you wish so badly that he was.

Eddie pulls up to the cemetery, shifting the car into park. "Here we are, princess. You sure you don't need me to come with you?" He asks you one final time, willing to do whatever you ask. He wants to be supportive of you, despite his surprise that you wanted to visit your father's grave in the first place. You made it pretty clear at the guy's funeral that you had no intention of wasting another thought on him. But, once you explained to him what Claudia had been saying, and how it made you feel, he understood completely. And he'll do anything it takes to make sure you're ready to go on this lifelong journey with him. George Henderson is the final loose end, and the time has come for you to tie it off.

"I got this, love. Thank you for bringing me here, and for understanding." You give him a quick peck before you get out of the car, hoping to hide the tears already welling in your eyes.

"Of course, baby. I'll always do whatever I can to make you happy." Eddie says sweetly, letting you go off on your own. He watches you make your way to the paved path in the graveyard, pulling out his cigs so he can smoke to pass the time.

You walk silently through the cemetery, listening to the chirping birds overhead, feeling the warm sun shining down on your skin. It's a really beautiful day, and it's thankfully been forecast to be perfectly blue and sunny all weekend for your wedding. You follow the trail, passing by headstone after headstone, memorial tree after memorial tree, until you eventually find the marker you've been looking for. George Henderson. You stray from the path, stepping onto the well-kept grass. You approach his grave cautiously, becoming highly aware that his body is a mere six feet under where you now stand. You sit on your knees in front of the headstone, taking a deep breath. It's so peaceful here, not another living soul in sight. It almost feels wrong to break the silence. But it's what must be done.

"Hi, Dad." You start, softly as not to wake the dead. Not that you really believe in all that stuff, despite Eddie's numerous attempts to convince you otherwise. You feel a bit silly talking to your father at all. He's not alive anymore, it's not like he can hear you. But, this is as close as you're ever going to get. "If you couldn't already tell, I graduated college today. Top of my class and everything." You continue, fiddling with a loose thread on your gown that's ridden up above your knees. "I kicked ass with my commencement speech, too." You add, taking a moment to think over what to say next. "I still don't forgive you, ya know. For leaving us, leaving Mom. You nearly killed her doing that." You find yourself getting frustrated, almost angry, as well as sad. It's like all these pent up emotions are just spilling out of you, when you didn't even know they were inside you at all.

"You're a real asshole, you know that?" You say bitterly, hot tears rolling down your cheeks. Your heart aches, but letting these words out makes it feel good. You decide to keep going, until all the pain is finally gone. "You were supposed to be here! To cheer me on when I walked across that stage! To take a picture with me in my cap and gown!" You shout at him, not giving a damn about disturbing the deceased anymore. "But you weren't! You weren't here for any of it!" You sob violently, doubling over yourself, hands digging harshly into the grass as a way to hold onto something. You begin to wail, chest heaving as the lap of your gown becomes wet with tears and spittle. Now that you've opened the floodgates, you can't seem to get them closed again. You cry helplessly for what feels like hours, getting dirt under your nails from clutching the ground so hard. Your abdomen starts to hurt, the muscles yanking taut over and over as you weep.

"Y/N." You hear Eddie's voice above you, his eyes widening in shock to find you in this state. He must've heard the heart-wrenching noises all the way from the car, coming over to investigate. "Sweetheart." He says sadly, getting down in the grass with you. He kneels beside you, moving to gently pull your hands out of the tangled green you're twisting in your grasp. You let him, unable to put up a fight. He pulls you into his lap, shushing you as you continue to cry. You immediately envelop yourself around him, burying your head in his neck. Your arms wrap over his shoulders, legs encircling his waist. "Shh, it's okay, honey. I'm right here." He coos, rocking you back and forth to soothe you. He was worried this would happen, that this was a bad idea, though he never said it out loud.

You slowly calm down in his embrace, your sobs quieting, tears flowing in a steady stream as opposed to pouring like heavy rainfall. "I'm sorry." You say weakly.

"It's okay, baby." Eddie reassures, rubbing your back with his hand. "Let's get outta here." He suggests, but you shake your head. "It's time to go." He calmly insists.

"I'm not done, Eds." You lift your head to look at him, needing him to understand. You have to finish this.

"Y/N, I really don't think一" He attempts to explain, but you don't need him to.

"I can do this. I have to." You say, unwilling to relent.

"Fine." Eddie sighs, knowing there's no way you're dropping this. "But I'm staying with you."

"I want you to." You nod in agreement, turning yourself around in his hold to face George's grave again. You take a deep breath again, exhaling shakily. You feel ridiculous doing this in front of Eddie, but you're sure he won't judge you for it. "Dad, this is Eddie." You introduce him. "He's my fiancé, and we're getting married in a couple of days." You smile, happy to say those words out loud any chance you get. "I love him more than anything, and he loves me just as much. Maybe even more. He makes me so happy, happier than I ever thought I could be." You giggle tearfully, Eddie's arms giving you an affectionate squeeze. "You should've been here to walk me down the aisle, Dad. That's one of the few jobs a father is supposed to have in his daughter's life. You're missing out, because Eddie and I planned a bitchin' wedding." Eddie chuckles quietly at that, the sound rumbling in his chest. "But, as we've done with everything else, we'll get by just fine without you." You finish, left with nothing else to say to your father.

You and Eddie move to stand up, ready to get the hell out of this place. "C'mon, angel." He takes hold of your hand, about to lead you back to the car.

You stay put for a moment, giving George's grave a final glance. "Bye, Dad. Your pumpkin doesn't need you anymore." You finish, before turning away to follow the path back to the parking lot. "Ugh, my face is a total mess." You groan as you assess the damage in the mirror inside the car.

"It's not that bad, Y/N. You look beautiful to me." Eddie contradicts lovingly. In all honesty, you do look a bit demented with the dark tracks of mascara streaked down your face. Though he'd never tell you a thing like that.

"Kiss-ass." You grumble playfully, reaching inside your purse for some tissues to clean yourself up. You wipe away the tears and smeared makeup, applying a fresh coat of mascara and lipstick. It's not a full face like you had before, but it'll do. At least no one will know you've been crying your eyes out. "All set, love. We've got a dinner to get to." You chirp, putting your cosmetics back in your bag, pulling out your smokes instead. You definitely need a cigarette after all that, especially if you're going to deal with a chaotic meal attended by a total of thirty-eight people.

"You sure you're up for that, princess? You've been through a lot today. Everyone would understand if we cancel on dinner." He doesn't mean to come off as coddling you, but he knows how stressed out you've been lately. And with what just happened in the cemetery, he can't help worrying that it's all getting to be too much for you.

"I'm fine, Eds. I promise. Everything from here on out feels like the easiest thing in the world, compared to this little detour." You speak honestly, taking a drag of your freshly-lit cigarette.

"Yeah? Why's that?" He asks with a knowing grin on his face.

"Because I have you, baby. We've both been ready to do this for a long time. Nothing can stop us now, and I don't want to waste a single second." You take his hand in yours again, interlacing your fingers.

"Neither do I, sweetheart." Eddie replies softly. You bask in this heartfelt moment together, adoringly gazing into one another's eyes. "I love you so much, Y/N. I can't wait to marry you." He says as his eyes begin to water.

"I love you too, Eddie. Ugh, you're gonna make me ruin my makeup again!" You laugh, much happier tears pricking your ducts.

"Sorry, honey. Emotions are runnin' high these last few days." Eddie laughs with you, letting go of your hand and wiping his face so he can drive. He grips the steering wheel, taking a deep breath to regain composure. "'Kay, I'm good. Applebee's, here we come." He turns the key in the ignition, setting you on your journey to the restaurant.

Once you arrive, you recognize at least half the cars parked outside, looks like you two are the last to show up. You take off your cap and gown before stepping out of the car, the fabric gets rather warm after a while. Eddie takes your hand as you walk inside, meeting the hostess and letting her know you're with the large Munson/Henderson party. She leads you towards the back half of the restaurant that you'd reserved in advance, walking into raucous cheers from your enormous group. Multiple tables have been pushed together to form a large square in the middle of the room, leaving two spots at the top center for you and Eddie, right next to your mother and Wayne.

"The lovebirds have finally arrived!" Steve comments loudly. "You two get caught up celebrating, or something?" He teases, drawing 'ooh's from the others around the table.

"Wouldn't you like to know!" Eddie bites back, rolling his eyes. His less than stellar attitude earns him a light jab in the ribs from your elbow.

"Be nice, Eds. And if you must know, I went to see my dad." You explain yourself, feeling a bit bad for holding everyone up. The room falls silent, every single one of your guests realizing what you mean.

"Sorry, Y/N. I didn't know." Steve apologizes, picking up her beer to take a large, embarrassed gulp.

"It's fine. I wasn't planning on telling anyone. It's just something I had to do." You reply sadly, feeling even worse for ruining the mood.

"How'd it go?" Mom asks, coming to the conclusion that you only went because she kept bringing up her ex-husband like it was a damn compulsion.

"It went fine. I talked to him. Well, actually, I yelled, cried, and told him how much he's missing out on." You answer with a shrug, shrinking under the thirty-seven pairs of sympathetic eyes around the table.

"Did he say anything back?" Polly pipes up from her high chair. You look over at her, noticing Angie about to scold her for asking such a thing. But she's just a kid, she doesn't know any better. Not to mention, George was her dad, too. You just smile, and shake your head.

"No, Polly. But I'm sure he would've if he was able to." You speak kindly to her, though you doubt she really understands. She just gives a little nod, accepting your answer.

"I'm sorry, sugarpuff. I shouldn't have brought him up so much." Mom says apologetically.

"Mom, it's okay. I got it out of my system. It's not weighing me down anymore." You reassure her, picking up your menu to change the subject. The silence in the room is far too deafening for your liking. "Now, are we gonna order, or what? Last I checked, we have a lot to celebrate!" You say cheerfully, lightening everyone's mood.

"I'll drink to that!" Hopper cheers heartily, lifting his glass. The others follow his lead, raising their drinks in the air. Even Jake and Polly lift their kids cups with their little hands. "To Y/N and Eddie, for embarking on this wonderful journey together!" He calls, taking a large drink afterwards.

"To Y/N and Eddie!" Everyone else says together, and you and Eddie take a sip from one of the beers that were ordered on your behalf. A moment later, a couple of waitresses come by to take everybody's order, frantically writing meals and specifications on their little notepads, They leave to put the orders in with the kitchen, allowing you to engage in numerous loud, joyous conversations. It's mainly just catch-up among friends since most of you are pretty close with one another, but there's many curious inquiries made between the less-than-familiar groups. Angie gets to talking with Mr. Biggs about his business, Milo seems to have a lot in common with Gareth, and Dotty and Chrissy are nearly attached at the hip. It warms your heart to see everyone getting along so well, despite the varying paths in life they've all taken.

One by one, the meals are brought out on overflowing trays and distributed amongst your group. The youngsters have kids portions of mac 'n cheese, and the adults are pretty evenly split between burgers, steaks, and salads. You yourself have opted for a grilled sandwich filled with all your favorite fixings, while Eddie's picked spaghetti and meatballs. When everybody digs in, the talking dies down significantly, replaced with the sounds of chewing and silverware scraping against ceramic plates. You munch away on your sandwich, and Eddie slurps up his pasta while holding his free hand on your thigh. He strokes you softly, in a perfectly innocent gesture. He's long since learned his lesson about putting his fingers in certain places underneath tables when you aren't alone. You swallow the bite you've been chewing, wiping your mouth before leaning over to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"What's that for, sweetheart?" Eddie asks quietly, keeping the words between you.

"Do I need a reason to kiss your handsome face?" You tease, laying another one on him.

"'Course not." Eddie chuckles, giving your thigh a loving squeeze.

"So, Y/N, when do you get to take over for Mrs. O'Donnell's science classes?" Jamie asks, as it's been something you've discussed recently. You haven't gotten around to telling everyone yet, considering you weren't completely sure it's what you'd wanted to do until you'd heard about the elderly teacher's retirement coming in two years.

"It'll be a couple of years yet, I have to get my teaching certification, working under her in her classroom. But, I'm looking forward to it." You reply happily. As it's been said, you've been a bit aimless about your choice of career for a majority of your adulthood. You've juggled numerous dreams of marine biology and forensic research, even behavioral psychology at one point. The result of these long-abandoned aspirations is that you've earned just about every science-related credit in whatever classifies as a 'long list' at a community college. So, when it came time to hurry up and pick a career field already, it finally clicked. You've spent four years absorbing nearly all the scientific knowledge at your disposal, why not make a career out of imparting said knowledge to the developing youth of America?

"Really? I never took you as someone who'd want to work with kids, Y/N. Not to mention shithead teens like we all used to be." Steve comments. This is certainly news to him, and well, everyone besides Jamie, Eddie, and your mother.

"Believe me, I didn't either. But when I thought it over, I came around to it like this. Have you ever had a teacher that made you excited to learn? One that made you look forward to going to school every day, because they made learning fun?" You ask.

"No." Both Steve and Eddie reply, earning a light laugh from the room.

"Alright, maybe I shouldn't be asking Party Boy and Three-Time Senior." You bite back, rolling your eyes. Another collective chuckle, though you quiet them down a moment later. "Anyway, most people have at least one of those teachers, I had a few myself. And I'd like to be that for someone else. Because, despite what my fiancé might think..." You give the man in question a playful nudge in the ribs. "...school is important. But that doesn't mean it has to be boring." You end on a light note, prompting murmurs of approval.

"I may despise the American education system, sweetheart. But if anyone can make it better, I know it's gonna be you." Eddie says sweetly, leaning over to kiss your lips. 'Aw's and obnoxious noises break out in the room this time.

It's a really odd feeling, having all eyes on you these last few days. It's like the two of you are starring in some fresh new sitcom, and everyone else is the studio audience reacting to everything you do. Of course, this audience consists of people you love and care for, and thankfully, they talk back. They're all here to support and celebrate your love, and you're so very grateful for that. That being said, you're really looking forward to when the next two days come to pass, and you finally get a chance to breathe. As lovely and exhilarating as this all has been, there's been a lot of little choices to make, to a point where it's felt never-ending. Cake tasting, invitations, floral arrangements, dress shopping, party favors, bridal shower activities, and the list goes on for miles. The weeklong honeymoon you'll share at home after this whole circus concludes is most definitely your coveted light at the end of the tunnel.

Despite all of the stress that comes with planning and hosting a wedding, you're completely overjoyed to be doing all of it. You can't wait to get married to Eddie, to be his wife. It won't necessarily change much about your dynamic, per se, but it’s all so wonderfully grown up. Everything about it feels natural and right, for once in your life. There's no doubt in this decision. There's no fear gnawing away inside your head. No anxiety whispering in your ear about how everything will surely be a disaster. There's nothing but love, confidence, and self-assurance coursing through your entire being. You're ready to marry Eddie, and you couldn't be happier.

To be continued...

#fanfiction #hippiegoth97 #smut #stranger things #eddie munson #hawkins #1980s #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x henderson!reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x you

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lolasimms · 2 years ago

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a lots gonna change pt.7

Summary: Married life isn’t great, infidelity ensues, and things change

next chapter

"I'm sorry... what?" You laugh, surely she couldn't be serious, you were starting to believe that delusion and craziness was following you around now.

"I'm not lying y/n, she and I have been seeing each other for a while now" Amelia mutters, unceremoniously as she takes peeks into your home. You immediately become protective and stand closer to the door, in case she suddenly went into rampage and tried harming you or even worse, harming Lila.

"Amelia I have to ask, do you really expect me to believe you?" She sighs aloud and then crosses her arms over her chest in defence at your words.

"Why wouldn't you, y/n... maybe you don't know Ellie as much as you think you do."

"She's my wife, I'd like to think I know her quite well" you defend, you were starting to get irritated, just who did she think she was to be coming into your home and questioning you.

"Y/n we need to sit down and talk about this, I'm coming to you as a woman. I realised what she and I have done is wrong and the only way I can repay you is to confess" her eyes were pleading, her brown orbs staring deep into you and you had to try your hardest not to crack.

"Amelia I can't do thi-" you're cut off when she begins rambling.

"Y/n I have photos, texts and call logs, I can prove it to you please just let me show you!" Her voice was now raising, and you couldn't bare the thought of any of your neighbours coming out and seeing any of this commotion.

"Fine, come in"

Ellie was having a great morning, the two of you had made love, she and Lila had taken a walk to the park and then she was off to the golf course with Vic and Page. With Amelia off of her back, she and y/n's relationship strengthening and her time off at work, she had never felt better. Not to mention the fact that she had absolutely smashed Vic and Paige at golf today.

"We getting drinks or heading to your place?" Paige questions, as she places her club back into the trolley.

"We can have drinks at my place, I'm pretty sure y/n opened up a bottle of moscato" Ellie says, placing the trolley into the golf cart.

"Honestly I'm down to get tipsy, moscato sounds nice" Vic laughs and gets into the cart, as the two women follow suit.

"This was one of the hotels we frequently stayed at, she was strict about phones but once in a while it was dominating to be able to capture such sweet moments between us" Amelia reminisces on the intimate times she had spent with your wife . Tears were now flowing freely down your face, and you felt like your world had stood still. At first you had no reason to believe her, she was probably some weirdo that go a kick out of ruining lives you thought, but what would she benefit from lying? You asked yourself, but these photos... these photos of your wife, the woman you so strongly loved, the woman who you shared a child with, laid in bed with a stranger who wasn't you had solidified it. Ellie had been cheating on you, and it had finally started to make sense. The next photo however had done it for you, the both of them stood in-front of a mirror as she held Amelia in her arms, a faint smile on her face, that's when a sob broke out of you and all prospects of self dignity had broken.

"Look Amelia, if you think I'm blaming you I'm not, sure I hold a small level of resentment because you fucked my wife, but she's the one who made a vow to me, this ring symbolises... well it symbolised monogamy and she couldn't even uphold that" you say as you stand in front of her, as she awkwardly sits on the sofa. Amelia wasn't expecting this, in fact she expected a slap to the face. She knew for a fact that if this ever happened when her and Ellie got married she would've killed the bitch so for you to show such empathy towards her made her feel somewhat guilty.

"Y/n, I'm sorry" Amelia trails off, as her eyes fixate on the fireplace in-front of her, you hold your breath, not sure if you could handle another blow to the heart right now but nod, an urge for her to keep going.

"I- I really don't even know what to say I should've stopped once Ellie told me she had a family but I was too selfish and-" the sound of the front door opening and the faint murmurs of what you assumed were the voices of Ellie, Paige and Vic catch your ear and you are left feeling like you could throw up. Amelia too, looks frightened as she shifts worriedly from her chair and looks at you in fear. The sound of their voices grow closer, and then subside as soon as they reach the living room, and are met with the unexpected guest. Ellie frantically looks from Amelia to you, as Vic and Paige stand their silently and uncomfortably. You were assuming they knew about Ellie's affair, making you heart break all the more.

"I should probably go, bye y/n" Amelia mumbles as she stands up and looks at you, you nod in acknowledgment and she walks past Ellie who is frozen in the entryway and gives her one last look before she makes her exit. You don't bother looking at your wife, the thought of even having to communicate with her makes you want to drop dead.

"Y/n what did she say?" Ellie walks towards you, kneeling in front of the couch you are sat on, she tries to touch you but you retract your hands from her arm.

"What do you think she said... huh?" You mutter as the waterworks return.

"Vic, Paige you guys should go, I'll catch you later" Ellie looks behind her as she orders her friends to leave. You scoff at the level of pathetic that she is, she could freely engage in an affair and have her friends know about it but when it came time to face confrontation they had to be gone?

"No! They can stay, they knew anyways so let them stay" Vic looks to Paige and shakes his head.

"Y/n, we'll go you guys ca-" you cut him off

"Shut the fuck up Vic, the past five months the two of you have come into my house and had the audacity to play nice when you knew she was cheating on me?"

"Y/n it's not their fault just let them go" Ellie pleads as she tries her best to get you to look at her, you refuse to comply.

"No! Its fucking disgusting, especially you Vic. I trusted you, I chose you to be my daughters God father, I fucking trusted you... and you- you knew this whole time" you were now uncontrollably sobbing, struggling to catch your breath as you pointed your finger at them. Ellie tried desperately to touch you, console you but all you would do was swat her hands and pull away.

"Vic and Paige get the fuck out, I'll talk to you later" Ellie calls over her shoulder and they quickly scramble.

"Y/n please, baby I neeed you to listen to me" Ellie begs as tears begin to fall down her face.

"You cheat on me and you're fucking crying? You betray me and you get to shed tears?" you yell, not caring if it wakes up your daughter, you were too riled up and you couldn't stop now.

"Y/n I don't... I don't know what I can do to make this better I- I tried to stop it bu-"

"But what Ellie? You're too selfish... you're too much of a self centred cunt who can't appreciate everything she has?" You stare into her tearful eyes, awaiting a response that seemed would never come.

Tell me, where did I go wrong... huh? Was I not good enough for you? Did you not feel loved by me?" The words fall out of your mouth in a sputter, as saliva bubbles from your heavy breaths. Your nose was running and the tears wouldn't stop, the lump in your throat was beginning to physically pain you.

Her silence was angering you, she just sat there, refusing to say anything, refusing to acknowledge her faults and mistakes. And to be quite honest you didn't even think an apology would fix anything, you just wanted to be left alone. You lift yourself off the sofa, removing the wedding ring that had once been a symbol of love. It was a symbol of monogamy, a symbol of togetherness and a symbol of your future, a future that was now tainted in infidelity and betrayal. You drop it on the floor in front of her and she immediately begins to panic. As you walk up the stairs, she follows you and frantically begins begging ; "I'll change", "I'll do better", "I love you", "I don't deserve you", "We'll keep going to therapy" but you tune her out, as best as you can and head for the bedroom.

Once you've made it to the bedroom, you're standing on your toes, reaching for your suitcase.

"Put the fucking suitcase down, what are you doing?" Ellie yells as she tries taking the heavy object from your hands. You try your best to pull it back but her grip is deathly tight. You resort to grabbing necessities instead. You start with your pyjamas, underwear, some work clothes and your jeans and throw them on the bed. As soon as you turn to gather your shoes, Ellie is snatching the clothes and putting them back in the closet.

"Stop fucking touching my shit, STOP!" You yell as you get all up in her face, your patience was wearing thin.

"No! You're not leaving me, please baby I promise we'll work it out" for the person who had done the cheating, she seemed to be way more emotional than you and you can't help but roll your eyes at her.

"Shut the fuck up, we're not working anything out, Ellie. Go fuck with Amelia for all I care" you angrily grab your clothing and stuff it into a duffel bag as she continues to sob. Your next action however surprises Ellie, as she watches you exit the room and make your way to Lila's. She follows you inside and her heart jumps when she sees you opening the child's dresser and pulling out items of clothing.

"What the fuck are you doing, are you trying to take my daughter away from me?" She yells, and Lila immediately begins to awaken from her sleep.

"She's my daughter, you don't even fucking care about her" you spit as you pull out rows of dresses and onesies from the closet.

"Yes the fuck I do, don't accuse me of shit like that" she booms angrily as she forcefully, pulls you away from the closet. She drags you to the outside of the room and you've finally had enough. Without much thought to it, you land a hard slap to her face. The action leaves a tingling sensation on the tips of your fingers and depths of your palm and Ellie is stood their taken aback. A red mark on the spot your palm had landed beginning to form.

"I'm leaving, and I'm taking my daughter with me, and you are not stopping us" you spit and return to the child's bedroom.

Ellie stays far away from you for the remainder of the afternoon and you complete the minimal packing and get Lila ready to go. You descend down the arched staircase with the toddler in your arms and a heavy duffle bag in your hands. As soon as Ellie hears you she's rushing to the staircase and your daughter finally acknowledges her presence.

"Momma!" She squeals in delight and you quickly grab your keys and unlock the front door. Ellie follows behind you and have to try your best not to scold your daughter who's hands are out trying to reach for her mother.

"Let me at-least say bye to my kid y/n" Ellie begs as you settle Lila into the booster seat and place the duffel bags on the car floor next to her. You ignore her and shut the car door, as you journey to the drivers seat.

"Will you fucking talk to me, hear me out?" She pleads for a final time and your response is to simply slam your car door shut in her face. Tears start pouring again as you drive away from your home, the place that had once been a temple of happy memories and domestic bliss, now ruined with thoughts of Ellie's infidelity.

"I want momma!" Lila whines from the backseat and you tune her out.

"Mommy I want momma!" She's whining and you feel like your head was about to burst, the headache in addition to her sulking was going to be the death of you. "We're going to see Aunt Dina, baby, don't you want to play with JJ?" You force the addition of enthusiasm into your words to sell her, but she simply frowns, only wanting her mother. You locate your phone with one hand on the wheel, planning on calling your only friend.

You didn't know what was going to happen, would it always be like this? A constant battle between Lila choosing you or Ellie. Would she pick her over you? Would you have to go to court over this? How would you explain this to everyone... Joel, Your mom, Nara? You hated her, you hated Ellie so much and you hated that she had destroyed you so easily, why did she have to cheat on you? What had you done? Where did you go wrong?

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#ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #reader x ellie williams #ellie x reader #tlou ellie #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams fic #abby anderson fic #abby x reader

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