#THIS WOULD'VE BEEN FUN IN JANUARY ON MY BIRTHDAY

[moon-str3ber]

did NY miss like the 3 months of winter and decide almost the end of February is ok to snow like

ITS SNOWING RN WTF?

weather be wild

Edit: I realized February is in those 3 months of winter BUT STILL IFS NEAR THE END OF IT

[silentcryracha]

❍ ‗ Diamond (Yang Jeongin) ‗ ❍

Pairing : Yang Jeongin x f reader

Summary : The newly 23 year old gets a special gift from his leader and roommate for his birthday.

Genre/ Warnings : skz are idols but it's not connected, reader is an escort and a bit older (2-3 years, not specified), there's some build up to it, smut (18+) MINORS DNI, virgin!Jeongin, masturbation (both receiving), fingering (f receiving), oral (both receiving), penetrative sex (protected), a tiny bit of food play, praise/guidance, loss of virginity (m), it's not going to be 100% smooth because it's his first time yk

Word count : 8.50 K

A/n : I just saw from my notes this was meant to be an 'early gift' for Innie..meaning it's literally here from january..my bro was NOT going to see the light. + VERY new addition about the dorms?? Jeongchan did it for the plot specifically yep

ps: There could be grammar errors. Do NOT repost on other socials. Leave feedback if you feel like it, otherwise enjoy! ♡︎

masterlist

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

The started with a Bang. Literally. As In Chan Bang literally jumping head first into Jeongin's bed.

"Heya there birthday boy!" He yelled as he ruffled the younger boy's ginger hair.

"Mmmh hyung-" he whined as he tried to slip back under the duvet to cover himself from Chan's attack.

"Is our baby ready for his big day? Twenty three already? Oh my gosh" the aussie kept talking, but had finally stopped his hands so Jeongin could breathe again.

"Yeah" he replied, still with sleep in his voice. Chan made a 'woah' noise.

"Even the baby's voice became so much deeper. Yah, I feel thrice as old now." Jeongin shook his head in humor.

"Well then, what time is it, old man? I would've gladly slept it off today" he sighed. Chan made a stank face at the words 'old man' and then checked his phone.

"Don't say that. It's Seungmin's line." He replied, "We still have about fourty minutes before the team comes pick us up. Wanna eat?"

Jeongin nodded with a yawn, as Chan jumped out of bed, fresh as a bird.

"I'm not gonna tell you now, just know that I prepared a surprise for tonight!" He sang-talked as he speed out of the youngest' room. Jeongin didn't even have the time to ask him what he had planned before he disappeared.

To be quite honest, he was so tired and underwhelmed at the idea of going practice that he barely cared.

-

The day went on almost like any other practice day. Dancing practice, some vocal lessons, lunch break. Everyone, from his members to other idols and staff, wished him a happy birthday. He politely smiled, bowed and thanked them all.

From the members tho he got extra hugs, pick ups, piggy backs, kisses and hair ruffling. He was truly the toy of the day. But he loved them nonetheless.

As the final schedule of the day, he actually had to do an hour long livestream, to spend some of his birthday with the fans, like tradition.

He actually enjoyed having a bit of relaxed fun, just eating some cake, reading a few comments and unboxing a couple of unserious presents that his manager selected for him.

After he said bye to the fans, it was around eight pm, and he knew that the members wanted to take him out for dinner and drinks. So he thanked the staff one last time, picked up his stuff and headed out with the group in two cars.

They drove to a nice place, nothing too fancy, it may have been his birthday but they were still supposed to be lowkey. And besides, everyone was kinda tired from practice. It was a typical Korean hotpot place, where they had a whole room booked for them, with a nice view of the Han river. It was raining and cold outside.

"I propose a toast for our maknae. Our baby, our fennec fox, our baby bread. Our amazing Jeongin, who grew up so well and worked so hard." Hyunjin raised a bottle of soju, and the others followed suit.

"Happy birthday our Yenah!" Changbin cheered, maybe a bit too loudly, which made Jisung slap his bicep and the others laugh as they joined in the cheering.

"Thank you, thank you." the ginger boy raised a hand to stop them, "Thank you for the meal, and for being the best coworkers I could've asked for. For being my brothers"

The whole table cooed and awed, some reaching out for a cheek pinch, some for a hug. He did truly feel so lucky.

-

When they finally decided to go home, it was about eleven pm. Not that late for a friend's night out, but they we're going clubbing. Half of them was barely standing up.

Jeongin was helping Jisung walk out to the car, hopefully not drawing too much attention on them. Then Jeongin went in the car with his roommate Chan of course, and two drunk idiots Felix and Seungmin behind.

Chan, who was completely sober, drove them safely to their apartment and made sure that they got in safe before coming back behind the wheel.

"Thank you again for the dinner and the bracelet, hyung" he bowed slightly, with a shy smile. The oldest nodded, with a small smile himself.

"It's nothing." He replied, "But you still remember what I said this morning right?"

Jeongin frowned for a second, rethinking it, and then answering.

"Wasn't the bracelet the surprise?" The genuine confusion in his voice amused Chan, which chuckled a bit.

"Nope."

"Oh" the brown haired man gazed at him quickly before going back to look at the road.

"I'm going to tell you. Promise not to overreact." Those words worried the younger man a bit, but at the end of the day, it was still Chan hyung he was talking to. Surely he wouldn't put him in some shit.

So he stayed silent and nodded. Slowly, he started to actually notice that he wasn't driving towards their apartment, but elsewhere.

"I booked a special night for you. With a woman." Jeongin's eyes went wide, but before he could open his mouth, Chan raised a single finger stopping him.

"It's a very safe and professional place. I know the girl in question, which is how I know you'll have a good time." He explained.

"But why? How do you know her?" The younger one asked. Chan shook his head slightly.

"It doesn't matter. Right now we are driving to luxury hotel, which offers this type of service, but it's very secretive. You can decide to do it or not, but I want you to know that you'll be safe." He kept going, "I did it because I feel like it could be a fun experience, and also because I'm quite tired to hear you get off in two seconds through the wall. Might as well put all that sex drive somewhere right?" He teased, making Jeongin choke on his own saliva, making him hide his flushed face in between his hands.

"I didn't know you could hear! I'm sorry!" He apologized, embarassed. Chan laughed.

"I mean it's normal! Walls are thin and all that. But you're a young man with needs, it's normal. I'm just saying, maybe this could give you a bit of confidence to explore this." He shrugged.

Just at that point he drove to the front of an enormous building, and told him to get off the car. He exited the vehicle too and a staff member was ready to greet them, then take Chan's car keys to actually park it.

Chan put an encouraging hand behind Jeongin's back, both of them still wearing the sporty caps to keep lowkey. They walked to the reception, and a young man greeted them.

"Good evening, yes. I have a reservation with this ID." Chan didn't say either of their names, he just showed a document on his phone to the guy.

He checked, took a quick look on the computer, then nodded.

"Yes, there is. I'll get your keys in a moment, sirs. Would you like some refreshments from the bar? It will be closed soon." He offered politely. Both of the young men shook their heads, and the receptionist bowed before going to get the keys.

He came back with two magnetic cards, and vaguely instructed them to take the elevator to the floor indicated on the card, then added a few formalities about the utilities of the hotel, before finally letting them go.

Chan and Jeongin walked towards the elevators, where two staff members were standing by each side. One of them, a professionally and meticulously styled woman, gave them a polite smile, pushing the buttons for them.

"Good evening sirs" she spoke, "May I see your cards, so I can give you directions at best of my abilities?"

Chan didn't speak and just handed over the two cards. She took them and looked at the golden one first, which was Chan's, and then at the silver one which was Jeongin's.

She quickly gave them a look, then put back on the polite smile, giving back the cards to them.

"Thank you, sirs. I will ride with you and drop you off at the correct floors." She bows slightly, exactly at the moment in which the elevator doors open next to her.

She opens her arms, directing them politely towards the entrance. The two men get on, and she does too, standing in front of them, commanding the buttons.

She pushes the tenth floor, but before the elevator does anything, a side light flashes for a second, and the woman presses her card to it. A small 'bip' signaled approval, and only then the elevator steadily sped upwards.

Jeongin in the meantime was getting more and more anxious. He literally thought anything but this. If he's being honest, yes he was horny. Yes, he wanted to try sex. But was he willing to do this to get it? Would it be that wrong, if he did? He's not forcing anyone at the end of the day. But what would his ego think about this?

Before his mind could go even more on a tangent, the elevator stopped and the doors opened again. This time it showed a long corridor, but it did have something different.

The spacing between the doors was huge but there were actually only five rooms. Each of them had a shape of a heart made in different materials. Expensive looking ones, and each one different. They looked like... expensive gemstones?

But what caught the eye first were definitely the two big beefy men standing right at the start of said corridor. Like guards. Which soon enough, Jeongin learned to actually be security.

"Good evening" the lady said to one of them. He gave her a small nod.

"Good evening." He replied professionally, "May I have your card?" He then spoke directly to Jeongin. He looked down at his silver card, then back up at the man. He gave it to him.

He pulled out a small phone from his elegant jacket's inner pocket, turned around and most probably checked the information. Then put it back inside, and gave the card back to Jeongin.

"You are verified. But I need the other gentleman to leave before I give further instructions, please." Chan nodded with a small smile, giving Jeongin a couple of reassuring pats on the back.

"See you tomorrow, bro. Should you need me for anything, I'm on room 2060, floor twelfth, alright?" He made sure the younger boy looked at him, "But I'm sure you'll be fine."

Then he got closer one last time, whispering 'have fun' with a hint of teasing in his tone. After that both him and the lady disappeared back into the elevator.

"You may go, sir. Your room is number five, the diamond. Just at the very bottom of the corridor." The security guard's voice startled him a bit when he turned around.

"When you get there you will have to ring a bell. When the light goes from red to green, the door will be opened. Enjoy your evening, sir."

Jeongin listened carefully as he was given back the card. Without really saying anything, he gave both men a quick nod and then slowly walked towards the diamond room.

The young man looked at every single room as he walked: from left to right, numbers one to four. Opal, Blue Sapphire, Ruby, Emerald and last but not least, Diamond.

Jeongin arrived in front of his assigned door, looking around for the bell they told him about. He wasn't seeing anything, until he understood that they didn't mean an actual bell, but a small white button. With sweaty hands he pressed it, and it became red.

After a minute the button turned green, and the door opened. As soon as he looked up, he found in front of himself a stunning woman. Girl. Definitely a bit older, maybe around his hyungs' ages.

She had some essential and very classy make up, her hair were loose on her shoulders perfectly styled, and she was wearing a silk, opaque silver, dress which fit her perfectly, the draping adorning her bosom and falling on her hips like a statue.

It wasn't just the package that was beautiful though, he knew it as soon as he managed to take a look at her face. She was truly beautiful, so elegant and feminine.

"Good evening. You are Fox, correct?" It took him a couple of seconds to let sink in what she had asked, her voice smooth like butter.

He slightly shook his head to get a grip, then just nodded. He didn't know why she was calling him 'fox' but he assumed that that's the nickname Chan picked to protect his identity.

She smiled politely, as she invited him in. He was so charmed by now that it seemed like his body was moving on his own. Maybe Chan was right, maybe he desperately needed to get laid if that's the reaction he had simply seeing a beautiful woman up close.

She closed the door behind him, pushing another button, which turned blue. Then after a few seconds, white again. Well Chan certainly wasn't kidding when he told him to not sorry about privacy or safety.

He took a moment to look at his surroundings: it was a medium sized room, not too wide. It had a large king sized bed in the center, perfectly made with cream and white bedding and pillows. By its right and left there were two small bedside tables, above them each had a very small lamp attached to the walls.

The ground had a perfectly clean and intact grey moquette. There was a small room on the right, which he assumed was a private bathroom, while on the left, lining with the bed, there was a huge window that had a beautiful scenery of the night city. They were partially covered with half pulled heavy cream colored curtains.

Then, on the left but at the opposite end of the room, near the entrance door, there was a small and essential open wardrobe, with a couple of empty hangers, some extra white towels, and a safe.

A safe on which the woman was putting a passcode. He assumed to take something out, but it turns out that whatever she had to take, was already on the small round table at his left. Right near the big window.

On the small transparent table there were some papers, a small bottle of champagne and a bottle of water in an ice bucket, two empty glasses, and a single big triangle shaped piece of cake. It looked like strawberry and cream. Two small forks on the side of the dish.

"Welcome, nice to meet you, Fox." She stood in front of him, a few feet away. She had perfect posture, he noticed.

"Thank You" he managed to croak out, then clearing his voice a bit, "What's your name?"

She smiled politely, but with a hint of humor.

"My name is Diamond." he scoffed a bit, with the faintest laugh. He was so nervous he felt lightheaded.

"I'm sure" her small smile didn't disappear, instead, she just tilted her head for the side.

"Well, that's the best I can offer you tonight", she paused, "Fox." He immediately picked up on the irony in her voice, which made him shake his head a bit.

"I didn't pick it. I actually didn't even chose to come here." his voice held confusion, like he truly couldn't believe where he actually was and for what reason.

Her expression softened, leaving behind the humor. She took a couple steps forward. She watched the boy's reaction carefully, but he didn't flinch. That's good.

"I know. That's how I'm going to Introduce the contract, so then after you can decide what you wanna do." she started, reaching her arm out to pick up the papers. There were three-four pages at maximum.

"I'm going to give you the essential summary, but if you want to read it by yourself you can." The woman looked at each page, explaining to Jeongin the contents.

"On the first page is essentially a copy of the info we were sent beforehand when the reservation was made. So your 'name'" she air quoted the word, "Your ID code, a personal emergency number, and the technical details about the reservation. A part of them is hidden specifically by request of the payer, which was not you." She continued.

"And here you have to put the first signature to confirm these info. On page two it's just some rules, like if you break you pay, you are mutually required to respect my privacy as I do yours, you take responsibility of any intentional harm done to me and vice versa, then consent for intimacy, and there's an empty line of you have to add any boundaries that I have to keep in mind. The another signature." She explained, pretty bored.

"Then there's page three which is basically a bunch of copy paste privacy, security and legal terms in case something happens. Page four Is just the last bit of page three, and at the bottom there's finally the last signature." She paused, "If you agree and sign all the papers, then I can co-sign them too and put them in the safe so that they will be archived correctly. Got it?"

Jeongin sighed, slumping his shoulders a bit.

"That sounds like a lot"

"It really isn't, if you really think about it. Unless you have any intention of causing harm or disruption. Which I don't think you do, am I correct?" She smirked a little. The young man shook his head with conviction.

"Alright then, I'll leave you a moment to take care of it." She nudged her head towards the papers and pen. Jeongin walked up and took a quick read, mainly the highlighted stuff, then was about to sign, but hesitated.

He kept his head down, a bit embarassed, as he spoke.

"After I sign this...can I-, I mean, can I still change my mind?" The woman was a little surprised to see him so hesitant. She tried to put even more sincerity in her response.

"Yes, of course. You can change your mind before and during. I'd say after, but well, once it's done, it's done." She chuckled. Surprisingly, he smiled too.

"Yeah" he agreed, finally signing the papers one by one. He then gathered them, passing them in Diamond's hands. She smiled, bowed a bit and thanked him, before putting the documents back in the safe.

"Alright!" She exclaimed with a smile, "I couldn't offer it unless we settled that stuff first, but, would you like something to drink? As you can see we have plain water or, for the occasion, some Champagne."

The ginger haired boy waved his hand to refuse.

"Not for now, thank you. I had dinner not too long ago." She nodded, suddenly lighting up.

"Ah, yes, happy birthday by the way" she winked. Jeongin bowed his head as a thank you, visibly more relaxed. Still not a hundred percent, but he doesn't want to necessarily combust anymore.

"Thanks. You were told this prior? How does it work?" He asked curiously.

"Let's get comfortable first, alright? Take off your shoes, jacket. Whatever you feel like. Also, I'm sure you saw it, but there's a bathroom if you need to freshen up." She invited as she gently helped the young man take off his puffer jacket.

"Yes, I was told that it was going to be a birthday gift. That, plus your nickname and the fact that you didn't have much experience. Everything was optional except if you were intimate before. It's a yes or no question, to give a hint more than anything." She explained, as Jeongin got comfortable.

He did as she suggested, being left with just his jeans, underwear, a tank top and a lightweight hoodie on top. He sat on the bed, leaning back a bit to relax.

He nodded, understanding. He didn't really know what to say, but he was starting to feel at ease, so the woman took the initiative. She went to get the small plate with the birthday cake on it, then sat beside him on the bed.

"I don't know about you, but this cake does smell delicious. Does the birthday boy want a bite?" She smiled, looking at him with a flirty look. He blushed slightly, nodding.

"You can tell me a bit about your past experiences, if you have any. What you'd like to do, basically anything." She cut a piece of cake with the dessert fork, guiding it to his lips, which he gently opened.

"I did very little...making out, some touches and humping above the clothes." He shrugged as he chewed. His eyes lit up at how good it it was, and it was so obvious that it made the woman chuckle.

"I see. Do you have a girlfriend?" She gave him another bite. He frowned and shook his head vigorously at the question.

"Cha-" he stops himself before saying his friend's full name, " My friend wouldn't have set this up if I had. I wouldn't have accepted either." He explained. She nodded in agreement, satisfied.

"Good. I hate cheaters." The boy couldn't help but give her an unintentional look. She noticed and raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, look, I think you noticed this place has certain standards. I speak for myself here, I don't go with busy men. If they are and they don't lie about it, I turn them down. I pick who to..." She paused for a second, trying to find the right word, "- work with."

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to seem rude." The ginger haired boy apologized, taking another small bite of cake. Half of it was gone already.

"No, I get it. It's okay. You don't look mean, anyway." She gave him a lopsided smile, "Didn't find the right person yet?"

"I guess? I'm very...busy. it's a bit complicated. I'm not really sure why it didn't happen yet. I had crushes but that's it. Not now though, I don't like anyone." He shrugged. He didn't feel uncomfortable talking to her, but he was careful about oversharing. He didn't even fully know if she recognized him or not.

"It's normal. You're young, and if you're here, you're probably in a special situation." She raised an eyebrow, not elaborating further but hinting at the fact that if he didn't have a shit ton of money and need for privacy, maybe he'd be in a random alley and not an extremely expensive luxury hotel.

"In any case, I hope you'll find someone soon. I'm sure you're not gonna have issues, you're really handsome." Her compliment made Jeongin blush, squinting his eyes shut for a second.

"Thank you" he responded timidly. She struggled to contain a smile. He was so cute.

"Well, in any case, tonight you're free to enjoy yourself however you want." She looked at him through her lashes, which sent a shiver down his spine. And maybe somewhere else.

Jeongin cleared his throat a bit, nodding absentmindedly.

"You didn't eat any?" He asks, suddenly realizing she's been feeding him the whole time without taking a single bite.

She tilted her head to the side slightly, shaking her head.

"Nope. But this big strawberry looks really delicious, if you want we can share it." She smiled, seemingly innocently. The boy nodded eagerly, so concentrated on wanting to share his cake that his mind didn't go where hers went.

"Alright, open up" he parted his lips, waiting for her to once again feed him the food.

And so she did, but this time she picked up the whole strawberry with two fingers, barely grazing his lips and chin with the tips as he held the fruit with his front teeth.

Suddenly, he started to catch up. His own fingers gripped the soft sheets slightly, eagerly waiting for her next move.

"I'm going to take a bite..." She stated, lowly, almost whispering, as she slowly leaned forward. Her eyes were looking at his lips, while his were looking at hers.

Then, she parted her mouth enough to bite in half the fruit, at the same time delicately touching Jeongin's pink lips. The movement was extremely delicate, and not too fast, but for him it was. He was already craving for more touch, almost in a daze.

Diamond leaned back nonchalantly, chewing the bite, but her gaze never left Jeongin's dark eyes. After a couple of seconds, she swallowed, licking her lips instinctively.

"Mhm. So delicious." The nonchalant tone mixed with the obvious intent was probably what made the boy lose his mind. So much so, that he reached out his pointer finger, picking up some whipped cream from the plate, then slowly raising it up.

"The cream is sweet too" his voice was deeper now as well. The older girl smirked a bit, parting her lips slightly.

Jeongin took it as permission, so he brought his finger to her full lips, which she wrapped around up to the first knuckle. Very delicately sucking, then licking the cream, cleaning the younger's finger.

She hummed in appreciation, letting his finger go. She decided to step it a bit further, noticing the young man was starting to get excited.

"It is indeed" she scooted closer on the bed, raising her hand and slowly sliding it up from his, still clothed, bicep to his shoulder.

"You have some on your face" she commented. Which was actually true, but it was a very tiny dot near his bottom lip. Which was more than enough.

"Can I clean it up?" The guy, which at this point was barely even blinking, nodded, gulping.

"Yes, please"

She didn't wait any longer, cupping his right cheek and getting closer to his face, then slowing down just enough to get out the tip of her tongue, picking up the tiny spot of whipped cream.

As soon as Jeongin felt her wet tongue graze his lips, he parted his own, effectively starting a proper kiss.

One of his hands cupped her cheek, while the other landed on her hip, grabbing the silk dress slightly.

At that point the make out continued, including tongue, soft lip pulling and biting, until he instinctively pulled her closer, hinting at the fact that he wanted her to straddle him.

She got it right away and complied, straddling his sitting figure, but not quite getting comfortable on him right away. Instead, as she wrapped her arms around his neck, her hips started to rock back and forth sensually, giving Jeongin's growing crotch enough contact to turn him on but not enough to actually hump his jeans.

The young man started to pant in between kisses, fully aware of the newly added sensation, and enjoying every second of it. His hands both grabbed at her hips a bit more forcefully, following her movements, while his mouth started to travel back and forth between her neck, jaw, collarbone area, then slowly more and more down, almost on her breasts.

She sighed pleasurably, giving him a kiss on the head before gently stopping him. Jeongin, with his ginger hair already a bit messy, his cheeks flushed and eyes glossy, looked up at her with some confusion.

"Let's get you more comfortable, baby" her voice a bit hoarse from the excitement. He nodded absentmindedly as he raised both arms up, allowing the girl to slide off his hoodie.

"Can I get this off too?" She asked gently, referring to the tank top. He nodded again, clearing his throat, waking up a bit from his daze and deciding to help her.

He ended up taking the tank top off himself, while she unbuttoned his heavy baggy jeans, getting off of his lap to take them off.

She left them to the side, and before she knew it, he was also sliding her spaghetti straps off her shoulders, immediately making the silk dress pool at her feet.

His hands rested on her waist as he took in her body, still barely covered by a lace set of white lingerie. His eyes lingered on her legs, thighs, chest

He was brought back to reality when the girl's hand rested on his cheek again. He looked up, blinking a few times.

"You're beautiful" he complimented her, in awe. She smiled a bit, gently pushing him back more to the top of the bed.

"You look great too" she crawled back up on the bed, stopping to his side.

"What would you like to do?" she asked, caressing his hip and lower belly, making both his cock and stomach twitch slightly.

"I..." he looked to the side, getting too shy to speak his wish out loud. The girl nodded in understanding, with a smirk.

"When you're ready just tell me what you want to do, okay? In the meantime, trust me" he swallowed, trying to get his throat a bit wet, nodding.

The girl gently grabbed his boxers, sliding them down his toned legs and throwing them on top of his pants. His cock sprung free, fully hard, slightly hovering above his lower belly.

She scooted further on the bed so she could lower a bit more near his crotch.

Deciding to have mercy on the boy, she let some spit pool in her right palm, then taking Jeongin's cock, stroking him up and down, not too fast.

As soon as she touched him his whole body spasmed involuntarily, and he moaned. At the first lick along the side of his shaft, she noticed him squinting his eyes shut, breathing out deeply.

"Don't hold back" she said, capturing his attention immediately, "You're not hiding in your room. I promise your partner will enjoy hearing you very much"

The poor guy didn't even have a chance to reply, because she got immediately back to work, taking his cock on her mouth. She went down a bit more every time, from the tip, then to more than halfway.

His cock was pretty pale, like the rest of his skin, with a couple of not too prominent veins blending in, it was medium in thickness, but oh my gosh was it longer than average. Not a whole monster, but definitely a bit above average.

"Fuck" he groaned, still struggling to fully let himself go, biting his bottom lip and frowning. The girl noticed his left hand firmly gripping the sheets, while the other one seemed to kind of twitch and be restless.

"You can touch me" she half moaned, taking a small break from the mouth work. He looked down at her, frowning.

"W-what?" He panted. The girl reached out, taking his nearest hand and bringing it to her head.

"You can touch. You can do whatever you want as long as you're gentle. If you want to get rougher, ask consent" she explained, her hand still stroking him.

Jeongin was having a bit of a hard time focusing on two things at once, listening to her and not cumming embarrassingly fast, but he did understand what she meant.

She was trying to encourage him to let himself go, but it just wouldn't come natural to him, even though he was definitely enjoying himself. It was true.

He was used to shut himself up and be as quiet as possible getting off, since he didn't live alone. And even when he was alone, he'd still find himself double checking that the door was locked before getting down to business.

"I want to eat you out" he blurted out, surprising the older girl who kind of stopped her movements to check in what he said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah" he nodded, propping himself up with his elbows.

"Don't you want to come first?" She double checked. He shook his head.

"Not right away. Please?" The girl chuckled, gently releasing his, still hard and leaking, cock.

"You decide. How do you want me?" Between the sultry teasing tone and the way she leaned back, essentially offering herself, Jeongin thought he could've came right then and there without being touched.

He moved, getting on his knees on the bed, and reaching out to pick on the bra straps.

"I need to see you so bad" he whispered. The girl nodded, unclasping the bra from behind her back and then throwing it on the growing pile of clothes on the ground.

The boy unintentionally released a deep sigh, which made the girl smile, but she made sure to not laugh at him. Instead, she brought his big but slender hands to her breasts, which he cupped instantly.

Then she decided to give him some more time, occupying her hands and mouth by caressing him and leaving kisses on his neck and chest, a few on his mouth.

The boy was groping her breasts, toying with her hard nipples with his fingers in the meantime.

"On your back" he managed to choke out, his chest going up and down from laboured breathing.

"Mmh, alright pretty boy" she said in between kisses, which made Jeongin breathe out a small chuckle.

The girl moved, getting on her back with her head on the pillow, as he asked. She bent her knees, spreading her legs as he positioned himself in between them.

He then realized he was too high up, shifting back and on his belly, right in front of her crotch.

"Can I?" He asked, picking at the sides of her lace panties. She smirked, nodding.

Jeongin slid the panties off, setting them to the side, not being able to get his eyes away from her glistening pussy. He felt like a feral animal, cock painfully hard and twitching against the bed, but at the same time, he froze.

The girl propped herself up with her elbows, looking down between her legs at the younger boy.

"What's wrong?"

He hesitated, looking down to the side, realizing he was staring, and also from embrassement.

"How..h-how do I.." he stuttered. The girl blinked a couple of times.

"Don't tell you've never watched porn?" There was no judgement in her voice, just genuine questioning. He half nodded and half shook his head, confusing himself at this point.

"Yes of course I do.. I'm not a saint, okay? I just- I don't really know how to start I guess" he admitted. She let out a small breathy laugh, reaching out her hand to cup his cheek.

"Ah I see. Don't worry, alright? Let's go slow" she reassured him, which actually did work.

"You can start by building up to it. Kiss around the pubic area, the thighs, legs, belly, whatever. Then you can use your hands, both to caress and touch directly on it." She explained gently.

"Don't be rough. Like don't just start inserting fingers out of nowhere or rub it like some sort of dough, okay?" He laughed a bit at the examples, but nodded, both in agreement and to build up some courage.

"The main goal here is to get the vagina wet so when you touch it it doesn't hurt. Just like I did with you before. Don't worry about the rest, I'm going to tell you as you go" she added, and Jeongin nodded again, starting to put his hands to work by caressing her legs and thighs.

"Okay, good boy" she said nonchalantly, as if she said 'hello', but they way his ears got red and his cock jumped quite literally said the opposite.

Regardless, he tried to remain focused, and started to pepper the girl's lower body with wet kisses and licks. She brought a hand up to her breast, starting to play with herself as she moaned softly.

Jeongin's ego boosted at that, as he tried to remember a few of the couple porn he watched. He decided to slowly start licking directly on her pussy, which actually made her gasp out of surprise.

His gaze shoot up, to check if he was okay to continue, and by the way she had her eyes closed and mouth parted, he took it as a yes.

The boy delighted in her taste, so new but so intoxicating at the same time. He used his tongue flat, up and down, slowly from her clit to her entrance, which was becoming wetter by the second.

As a sweet background there were the older girl's sighs and moans. Yeah, he thought, she definitely had a point when she said that his partner would be enjoying the noises. He sure as fuck was.

That's what actually gave him the confidence to start touching her with his fingers. He started to gently rub his finger and middle fingers around her pussy, getting them wet as he kept sucking and licking her. She moaned a bit louder, suddenly opening her eyes and looking down.

"Here" she breathed, reaching out her own hand and placing his fingers on her clit, guiding the circling motion until he did it by himself. Her back arched slightly, as her fingers intertwined with his reddish hair.

"Yes, just like that" she sighed, "Touch yourself, baby"

He shook his head slightly, unintentionally, actually causing her to choke out a moan and make her grip on his hair tighter. She looked down.

"Why not?"

"Don't wanna come now" he mumbled in between licks. He was enjoying himself a bit too much, like a kid with a pacifier or a desert. Hilarious how in the span of two hours he became a pussy addict.

"Yes, come now. Trust me. There's- ah," she arched her back interrupting herself with a gasp of pleasure, "There's time. Listen to me."

He looked up at her, keeping his hands attached to her pussy. Her cheeks were flushed, eyes glossy and an almost invisible layer of sweat covered her forehead.

After that masterpiece of a view, cumming was not going to be hard for Jeongin, which slid his free hand under his body, reaching his cock and stroking it fast.

"Yeah, just like that, good" she moaned, "Fuck- oh, yes, keep touching my clit a bit faster, you're doing amazing" her voice a bit high, just like the high she was about to reach.

"You gonna cum?" He slurred as he upped both his fingers and tongue's pace. The dirty talk must've had an effect on her too, because she released a loud moan, arching her back and pushing Jeongin's face even further to her pussy.

"Fuck- fuck- yes" She cried out. At that exact moment Jeongin felt some wetness hit his chin, so he knew she came. He just made a woman come for the first time in his life. Damn.

Which, surprise to none, made him cum in return. The boy stiffened up a bit, groaning into the woman's pussy which made her squeal and jump back a bit, as she was too sensitive now.

Jeongin gave the last few, harsh, strokes to his cock, to ride his own high. He was taking deep breaths, trying to ground himself, but for some reason he struggled to keep his eyes open.

He forgot about Diamond for a second, until she sat up near him, her hands on his face, and a gentle expression on her face.

"Hey, pretty boy, are you alright?" She asked softly. His eyes blinked in a messy way, almost like he was passing out. He used one of her palms as a pillow and then closed his eyes completely.

-

Jeongin woke up on the bed, a pillow under his head and a heavy duvet covering him. He was exactly where he last remembers, on the left bottom side of the bed.

Did he actually fell asleep after having an orgasm? Oh God..what a fucking loser. But wait, where was-

And before he could ask himself the question, he saw her standing in front of the window, an equally heavy duvet around her shoulders, as she sipped some water.

"Hey, what happened?" as soon as she heard Jeongin's voice, the girl turned her head. She offered him a sweet smile.

"You passed out for some time. Not long, about twenty minutes. Did you have a long day today?" She asked sweetly as she walked back to the bed, sitting next to him.

"Yeah, actually" he woke up early, had practice, did the live, then went out again. And then he ended up here. And he came so fucking hard, too. How to forget. Actually-

"I'm sorry that I kinda fucked up at the end, I was out of if" he apologized. The girl shook her head, gently getting a few strands of hair out of his face.

"You didn't ruin anything. You made me cum. Making a woman cum on your first time is pretty impressive, you know." She nudged his shoulder with hers. He smiled shyly.

"You still sleepy?" He shook his head.

"I don't think so. I didn't need to sleep, I was probably letting some stress go." She nodded.

"I'm glad you did." She paused, "What do you want to do now?"

He thought about it for a second, leaning his head on her shoulder.

"I definitely want to finish what we started. You down?" She chuckled softly, leaning her own head on his.

"Sure" they looked at each other for a while, until he kissed her. More softly than before, as they needed to start building up again.

This time around Jeongin felt more confident in his actions, so he took another initiative. He slid the duvet down her shoulder, and she let her grip on it go too, so it fell on the ground and she was naked again.

At the same time he freed himself from his own, joining her in her nakedness. They started to properly get back on the bed, kissing, toying with their tongues, and making out. This time Jeongin guided her directly to lay on her back, head against the pillow.

He didn't immediately get in between her legs, instead he took his time licking, sucking and grazing her soft breasts with his teeth. She sighed softly, both hands in his hair as she enjoyed the attention.

Jeongin's cock, which was slowly getting hard again, was rubbing on the outside of her thigh. She took the hint and licked her palm before starting to stroke his shaft, sometimes grazing his tip with her thumb, which made him shiver every time.

Almost at the same time, Jeongin reached his own hand in between her legs, starting to circle her clit like she had taught him before. The girl whined, opening her legs to allow him more access.

They went on like that for a while, until he was fully hard and she was dripping wet.

"Put one, the two fingers inside" she whispered to his ear, "Get me ready for you" her teeth grazed his lobe, which made his cock twitch in her hand. She smiled at the reaction, continuing to lick and kiss his shoulders and collarbones.

It was so intimate, so arousing, that they didn't feel the need to rush anything. It was dazing.

The girl gasped softly when Jeongin put the first finger inside, pumping it in and out slowly, sometimes twisting it, touching around her insides to try and find her g spot. And at a squeeze of his cock in her hand, he knew he found it. He choked on a moan himself, laughing a bit.

"Alright, I think we're ready" he said with a hint of humor. She chuckled, nodding.

"Let me just-" she gently released his erect cock and stretched to get to the bedside table's small drawer, where she fished out a small bottle of lube and two condoms.

"Do you know how to put it on or do you want me to help?" She asked kindly.

"I'd prefer some help, please. I don't want to fuck up." He admitted. She nodded and asked him to sit back on his feet. She kneeled in front of him, opening the package with her fingers, pulling it out.

"Alright, hold yourself up for me" he took his cock in one hand, as she asked. Then she placed the condom on the tip, carefully sliding it down his shaft.

"Now I'm going to get ready on my back. I am wet enough now, but just as a demonstration, I'm gonna put a few drops of water based lube on me so everything can go smoothly." She explained as she positioned herself, squirting a few drops of lube on her fingers and then spreading it around a bit.

Jeongin was watching everything, to learn. And also because her pussy aroused him, and couldn't wait to get inside her, okay? Oh God, he prayed he would last more than two seconds.

"C'mere" she invited him between her legs. The young man positioned himself, lining his length with her wet hole. Then quickly looked back to her.

"You can go. Gently, remember." She smiled sweetly at him, and he reciprocated. Then his focus shifted back down, he grabbed himself and slowly entered her.

They both sighed, and she reached out to take his hand, intertwining it with hers. Jeongin bottomed out and stood still for a minute, squinting his eyes and trying not to cum right away.

Condom or no condom, pussy feels amazing. The texture, the slickness, the warmth. He needed to calm down.

"Start moving slowly, baby" she encouraged, "Back and forth, don't completely pull out or get all the way in. Okay?" He nodded, his head hunched down to look at where their bodies connected.

He started to move as he was told, and it felt good, but he knew that if he went faster, it would feel even better. That's why she told him to start slow.

He huffed, as his hips rocked back and forth, his abs contracted. Jeongin started to play around a bit. Firstly by pulling out almost completely and then slamming back all the way in, feeling her cervix.

She moaned, then gasped and tightened her legs around his body.

Then he reprised his old movement, but with a faster pace. She suddenly loosened their fingers and placed his palm flat on her lower belly, just above the pubic bone.

"Add some pressure here" her breathy voice turning him on. He actually felt like he was coming closer to his orgasm, so he wanted to do everything he could do bring her with him.

He did as he was told, and in addition sped up a bit, reaching a slightly deeper point inside her.

"Touch yourself" this time it was his turn to say it to her. Her dazed expression seemed positively surprised, so, smirking, she brought her fingers to her clit.

Not too much later both started to pant and whine in a messy manner, getting closer to their high.

"I- I'm close ho- how, mmh fuck, how about you?" Jeongin struggled to talk coherently.

"Y-yes, keep going, baby, let go" she encouraged him, and with that and a few harsher thrusts he came inside her. Safely thanks to the condom.

He kept going, gradually slower so he could ride out his orgasm and he could still try to get her to get hers.

He bowed down, attaching his lips to her nipples to add even more stimulation, and that's what got her.

The older girl gasped, then moaned and kept touching herself slowly to properly ride out her orgasm. After a while though she pushed Jeongin's abs because it had gotten sensitive. He got the hint and leaned back on the bed, sliding outside of her.

They both stood still, breathing heavily, for a couple of minutes. The first to move was Diamond, which simply got off the bed, reaching out to safely take off the condom and throw it away.

Then she went into the bathroom, coming out already wearing a bathrobe, and bringing one for him as well.

"Thank you" he said, even more tired than before. But also hungry.

"I don't know if I want to sleep or eat more" he joked. She gave him a half smile.

"Whichever it will be, it can't be here" she broke the news to him as gently as possible.

Jeongin was taken aback for a second, until he remembered the situation he was actually in. She was paid to do this, not to sleep and cuddle. It left a bitter taste in his mouth, but he understood.

"Of course" he stood up from the bed, wrapped around in his bathrobe.

"Should I redress myself-" he started, but she interrupted him.

"No, no. There is another private room booked for you, to rest and freshen up. It's written on the card. You can relax, take a bath and order some food. Even at three am." She smiled a bit, "Don't worry about the clothes. I will personally make sure that they're delivered fresh to your doorstep tomorrow morning."

Jeongin nodded, not really looking at her. He felt so stupid and childish for feeling like this but he kinda couldn't help it.

He spent some intimate time with someone and now he had to leave them, pretty normal no?

If anything now he fully understands the emotional package that comes with exposing yourself with someone else. It will serve him in the future, he knows it.

He walked towards the door, with on his bathrobe and hotel slippers, and his silver card. His room was on the same floor as Chan.

"Well, again happy birthday. I hope the experience was nice. I had a nice time too, so thank you." She smiled politely. He nodded, trying to get a grip and not look like a kicked puppy.

"Yes, yes, absolutely. Thank you for having patience with me." He wanted to fucking bad to end it there, he was screaming in his head 'shut the fuck up Jeongin', and instead he added "Maybe I could come back sometime."

The girl's gaze softened, a hint of pity in her eyes. She reached out a hand and cupped his cheek.

"I hope not, Foxie. I hope that as soon as you walk out of here you find a beautiful, sweet girl that will give you this out of love, like you deserve." Her smile was comforting. He nodded, feeling a bit like a kid.

"But..." He looked up again at the word, "If between a busy day and the other you still don't find someone else, and you need to let off some steam..then why not." She winked. He smiled, bowed his head to her in respect and then wished her goodnight as he exited the room.

As soon as she closed the door behind him, she relaxed her face, and huffed, pretty tired after the whole ordeal. She started a warm bath, and picked up her phone from the safe to bring it with her.

- to : Xs <3

3.24 am - Your little one has just gone up

The answer came back almost immediately.

- from : Xs <3

3.25 am - he just texted me lol

3.25 am - you definitely left an impression

3.26 am - not that I had any doubts ~

3.26 am - wyd

She smirked, writing back

- to : Xs <3

3.27 am - Was just about to relax in the tub then sleep

3.28 am - Wanna join? ~

Before she could even put down the phone, it ding'ed back.

- from : Xs <3

3.28 am - Omw down ;)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

N/A: Xs = Chris

Oop.. Little plot twist? Anyway, this was a long one hope you enjoyed!

[juniper-clan]

Okay, so I am BACK with Moon Phases. Fun facts that are just trivia but if you or anyone cares, here they are! Moon 2 (April) we see a full moon when Heron sees the kittypet, which means that night specifically was April 22 1701

The Gathering in September would be the 17th.

There was a Lunar Eclipse February 22 1701 (Moon 0) that would've been visible to them.

Ages: Heronstar is 19, Longstrike would be 14, Heronpaw is 8 (obvs).

As for birthdays, starting March 1st seems appropriate for 1) ease 2) it was the half-moon which is normally the healer meeting. This also means something interesting! February that month just missed being a full month by moon cycle, with the previous half moon that follows the full moon being January 31! So off to a wonderful and weird start when it comes to ages.

So, using the half-moon and pretending they both turned exactly 7 Moons old (Heron) and 2 Moons old (Long) for the sake of this.

Longstrike would've been born December 3. If you want to make that his birthday is up to you, I'm not gonna assign your characters a birthday, but he'd be a December baby.

Heronstar would be July 9th! Once again, your comic, your characters, your rules, so if anyone sees this ask, Unless Jade Says So those are not Official Dates. Fun trivia, there was a blue moon that month, on July 30th.

Slickpaw is being assigned half-moon baby as well for the sake of my sanity, which is already questionable at this point. He would be August 26th, which supports his claim to a lack of food, as a month later was the gathering where Howlstar announced that her Clan was starving and would now kill trespassers. [Also instead makes him the month Long and Heron fought after she saw the kittypet at the border]

For Drama, the gathering would've been March 14th, and the April Gathering with be April 12th, for when Howlstar might ask if anyone knows where that apprentice ran to

-Heron Anon (I am absolutely that in front of the pinboard meme)

This is you.

(Also this is amazing and this is all canon now. I don't make the rules history makes the rules)

[buckybarnesss]

If Cora was Stiles' age, wouldn't she have been in his grade before the fire? He knew of Derek and the Hale family but it just seems like Cora was written in last minute.

on this episode of heather versus the teen wolf timeline: cora hale.

here is what the timeline establishes:

all of season 1-3B takes place in 2011.

the hale fire was six years prior to the start of wolf moon. stiles is speaking hyperbolically when he says it was 10 years ago. we know it was six from what derek tells scott in magic bullet.

derek: six years ago, my sister and I were at school, and our house caught fire.

it's established that cora was 11 at the time of the hale fire in 2005. this comes from frayed during her and peter's conversation.

cora:  you've known me for seventeen years! peter: i knew you for eleven, leaving the last six unaccounted for. and i'm not particularly fond of things unaccounted.

she's 17 in visionary.

visionary takes place during the fall 2011 semester of the main pack's junior year.

in comparison to the others:

allison turned 17 in the tell which takes place at the end of january 2011. allison says she was held back due to all the moving around. she's the oldest in their cohort.

lydia turned 17 on march 19th in party guessed during season 2 on the worm moon. we know it was her 17th birthday due to the conversation lydia and natalie have about lorraine's ashes in time of death in season 4 which takes place during the spring semester 2012 of lydia's junior year.

natalie: because she wanted you to do it... when you turned eighteen. don't ask me why. but, since there's only a few weeks 'til that, i suppose now is as good a time as any.

stiles would've turned 17 in april according to his official birthday of april 8th.

scott didn't turn 17 until september as is official birthday is september 16th.

malia turned 17 on november 28th making her the youngest of their cohort.

other odds and ends:

theo was in the fourth grade with stiles and scott making him their age. his birthdate is incorrectly listed as 1998.

jackson was born june 5th so he turned 17 between seasons 2 and 3A.

malia was 9 years old at the time of the car accident that killed her mother and sister which puts it in 2003. 2 years before the hale fire.

now while we can acknowledge the real reasons why cora's timeline is so shaky is because they winged a lot of it but what's the fun in that? here on buckybarness dot tumblr dot com we do teen wolf academia.

now one does wonder how scott, stiles, lydia and isaac didn't know cora but there could be viable reasons for that.

i discovered that the law changed in california in 2000 to raise the kindergarten enrollment age to 5 years old by september 1st. prior to this if a child turned 5 on or before december 2nd they could enroll.

they all would've started kindergarten in 1999.

this might be why scott and malia are in the same school year as lydia and stiles rather than being in the year behind.

if they'd had the foresight they should've had allison turn 18 in season 1 and have her a legitimate full year older than the rest because like she's only 3 months older than lydia so it seems a bit odd she's so embarrassed by turning 17 when she has a birthday so close to lydia and stiles. for someone turning 18 and being a sophomore due to being held back? that'd be embarrassing to someone in the american school system.

now cora could've been born in late 1993 to early-mid 1994. she could've been a grade ahead if she was closer in age to allison than to scott. i do strongly suspect that talia and corrine had overlapping pregnancies and being pregnant at the time is one of the reasons talia coerced corrine into keeping her pregnancy with malia.

the tates could've had malia start school later than the rest because she would've been 4 at the start of the year rather than 5 even if the law at the time allowed it. she just joined the rest as juniors when she returned to society because it made sense to keep her with the friends she'd made and she was 17.

if cora was in the grade above she could've been in middle school while the others were still in elementary school or maybe both malia and cora attended different schools due to zoning.

maybe they were homeschooled.

we'll never really know but it's interesting to think about.

[highgroundanimations]

How old are you?? What made you decide to dip your toe into animation?

As of now (2023) I'm 26 years old, next birthday is on January 24. 😁

Also great question! I'll go a little more in-depth below if anyone's interested. 😊

I've been interested in animation, art & story-telling in general ever since I could think! Starting with drawing & crafting a LOT in kindergarten & making flipbook & stopmotion/brickfilm animations in elementary school. Eventually got into shooting fun little shortfilms with friends & adding visual effects to them (those films were WEIRD, but soo fun to make! 😄).

That got me more & more into 3d animation as a hobby which turned into a career once I finished school & started a 3 year apprenticeship as audio-visual media designer at an advertising agency (I was 16 back then). After that I worked there part-time as 3d generalist for 3 more years while starting to freelance on the side. Eventually made the jump to full-time freelancing & that's what I've been doing the past 4 years.

Love the creative freedom of often times being booked as "one man studio" by my clients & the variety of projects is fun! Advertising has to move fast & you're never stuck with one project for too long.

Being a freelancer also makes it possible for projects like Tukk Tales: The Rescue to happen, because I get to chose what I want to work on & when I want to work on passion projects (as long as I'm not broke lol).

And of course one of the biggest sources of inspiration & motivation throughout this journey was our beloved Wars in the Stars! ⭐⭐ I've been a Star Wars fan ever since elementary school & been drawing characters from it constantly, especially droids & clones. And then came THE CLONE WARS! I don't think I would've followed through actually teaching myself how to use 3d software back in 2008 if I hadn't seen the Clone Wars movie around that time. A full-CG, stylized show with my favorite characters in my favorite era? Sign me up! I was so intrigued by how a show like that was made, I HAD to find out!

If you have seen my Youtube channel, there are still some The Clone Wars animation videos on there, from back when I just started learning how to use the 3d software Blender: https://www.youtube.com/@HighGroundAnimations/videos

So The Clone Wars kept me going, inspired me to learn this, to be able to create my own scenes from that universe. But then, eventually you want to grow beyond that, so I wanted to try other styles, other ideas & especially once I started working, I just didn't have as much time for personal "fun" projects anymore. So very little Clone Wars from now on. Fast forward a couple of years, it's the pandemic & the perfect time to go back into hobbies! The animated Star Wars shows have progressed & met a new bar of quality with Clone Wars season 7. What an inspiration! I really wanted to try & see what I could do with all the skills & knowledge I had accumulated since last time & a project like that seemed like a great chance to further strengthen my skills as generalist. So that's when I started again, December 2020 & the name High Ground Animations was born, along with a dedicated Instagram, a renamed Youtube channel & more. No Captain Tukk yet, or any plans for a shortfilm, all that developed during the many months after that. But I've been at it again ever since & there are no plans for stopping anytime soon! 🤘

[writeblrfantasy]

around six years ago, i started writing seriously for the first time. it was fanfiction. (glee fanfiction if you're curious.) i wouldn't write something original for the first time for another year.

i loved writing fanfiction--i put my whole unashamed heart into it, i didn't even think about whether it was good or not, because i was having a blast. i wrote for many different fandoms, i wrote one (short) fanfic a day during december based on one word prompts, and i would send them to my friend each night--a routine which got me through a very hard week of my life. i wrote buckets and buckets of fanfiction.

and then, i'm not sure when and why that changed--i read and still do read something on ao3 almost every night for dozens and dozens of fandoms, after all. but the more i wrote original books, i stopped writing fanfiction, and over the years, writing fanfiction seemed like an impossible task.

i tried a few times, i wrote a customized fic for my bestie's birthday, but i could never get far usually. it felt alien and intrusive to try and write someone else's characters. it would always end in shame and this feeling of wrong, wrong, wrong.

i don't have any of those early fanfictions from six years ago because i deleted them, convinced they were hot garbage (and they were, but i still would've liked to have them!)

i continued to write originally, still reading fanfiction almost every night and participating in fandom in other ways. and then in late 2021, i wrote and finished a good fic as a herculean labor of love. in spring of 22, it took me an incredible effort, but i took one of my old surviving fanfics and edited it to new standards, and then encouraged by my victory, i wrote 2 more fics and started a bunch of others.

i made an ao3 account and posted these all, and was encouraged like never before by the comments i received, the love i had never received because i'd never posted my fanfics before. slowly, the shame wore off. i could write fanfiction again. it became something i could do while sitting on my phone in a waiting room having an anxiety attack, something to do before i went to bed, something i could do when a fic i wanted didn't exist--i could finally just write it!

and now, we come to this year. in 23 so far, i've written and posted 11 fanfics adding up to 100,805 words in total, in two fandoms, with several fanfic wips in the works. two weeks ago i wrote, without meaning to, 7k of a fic in one day to finish it, a week after finishing the source material. i'm still hesitant to share snippets of fics with friends not in those fandoms, but i did in this case and was told by a friend that it was some of my best writing ever--original and fanfic combined. period.

in january when i watched my favorite movie too many times to get anything more out of it, i turned to fanfiction, where i had a fic i mentioned was inspired by my favorite fic in the tiny ass fandom, which the creator then saw and was flattered by, and continued to read all my fics in that fandom!

this would turn into a 7 part series which i would post once a week, whipping up 5k minimum fics in a matter of days. i was shameless. i was carefree. i was living for the familiar usernames in my comments, and the serotonin of pushing that "new post" button. i was having fun.

in moments where i would wonder if the fic i was writing was cringe, if anyone would like it if i posted it, i reminded myself that i read fic every night. fic is often the first place i turn after finishing a source material, and what i look forward to while consuming that material. if everyone who thought like me about their fics didn't post, i would be without fanfics to get me through my fandom experience, and i would hate that. so i kept writing and posting.

now: my relationship with writing fanfiction has never been healthier. i am better than where i was at six years ago, because my overall writing skills have improved about 1000%, and because i'm posting now. writing fanfiction now often provides me a break from the stress and complexity of writing original novels, and it's a lovely wind down bedtime activity.

so, i suppose if there's a takeaway from this post, it's that fan content creators, no matter what you create, and no matter how small the fandom you're creating for, even if you're the first work in your fandom, keep creating. what you're doing is real and worthy and just as important as original content, and keeps the heart of fandom alive. i am so happy i repaired my relationship with writing fanfic, and it's made me happier this year than i thought possible, due in large part to the incredible commenting communities in fandom. i wish the same for all of you <3

[feastonkings]

deaken bluman / he/him  ———  no way is that NIXON WOOD.. they’re a 24-year-old SYNTH notoriously known for being SPOILED  &  IMMATURE but there are some people who have seen them being CHARISMATIC  &  PERSUASIVE.  if you ask me, they remind me a lot of falling asleep in the bathroom, weekend blackouts, do you know who my mother is, a mansion filled with empty rooms, playing with hearts for fun, and going to sleep with someone and not remembering their name the next morning, but that could just be because they’re considered the SPOILED BRAT around town. just keep an eye on them  &  see if their true colors shine through..

GENERAL.

full name: nixon dwight wood nicknames: nix classification: synth gender / pronouns: cis man, he/him age / birthday: 24, january 2nd orientations: pansexual, panromantic occupation: professional tennis player (and local problem) location: upper status: single, closed family: ferdelle wood (mother), christina wood (mother) strengths: charismatic, persuasive, athletic, talented, independent weaknesses: spoiled, immature, selfish, hypocritical, impulsive character inspo: tbd

BIOGRAPHY.

nixon is the creation of two, wealthy business women who were deeply in love and wanted a child of their own. they only wanted one and were happy to spoil nixon

he grew up wanting for nothing, private tutors and nannies. when he wasn't going to pass something he would just pay to get a better grade whether that be paying a teacher or another student to do it for them.

there were some things that caught on with him that he always seemed to excel at, like math and tennis and making friends. if it weren't for the first two he probably never would've went to college either.

the only reason he went to college was to play more tennis, which he did plenty of along with partying and stirring shit up while he was there.

somehow he managed to graduate and pass classes on his own ( for the most part ). something that made his mothers proud and gave him confidence he hadn't had in the past

he went on to play tennis professionally with several big name sponsors and mostly fucks off in the off season.

he's been known to attend many parties, regardless of the district, and has a reputation for changing partners quickly though there was one he'd stayed hung up on ever since that one summer he attended a music festival out of town.

other than that he stays busy doing sponsor spots and talking to a lot of people about tennis.

HEADCANONS.

has a baby tattoo on his arm that he got after he met devan on a dare.

more to come...

[actingfool]

guess what? i've decided it's finally time to talk about the wonderful world of hanafuda, how that connects to the shinjuku reapers, and how from this information we can deduce what kubo's noise form is!

now that neo has been out for a while, this might be more common information, but i'll give a primer real quick. much like how the shibuya reapers in twewy have a theme for their noise forms (the zodiac), the shinjuku reapers have their own theme. and that theme is hanafuda! (and i can't give myself credit for this concept. i originally came across this idea here, iirc).

essentially, hanafuda are a type of playing cards. they have a long history of different forms and being used for a variety of games (including gambling). highly recommend looking that up if you're interested. in the modern day, hanafuda decks generally have 48 cards split into twelve suits (think like how western playing cards have suits). each suit corresponds to a month and has a variety of symbolism in the art connected to that. generally speaking, every suit is represented by a plant/flower. sometimes they have an animal on one of their cards too. that's why we're interested.

getting back to neo twewy, the shinjuku reapers don't necessarily have the hanafuda link hidden in their names, but instead in their birthdays.

for example, tsugumi's birthday is in january. the january hanafuda suit has a crane as its animal. shiba's birthday is in june. the june suit has a card with butterflies, etc. wondering where ayano got an iris noise from? her name means iris and every card in the may suit has irises on it. even characters who don't get a noise form in-game have some kind of connection (e.g., kaie and hishima both have name references to things on their birthday month cards).

so. that was a VERY elaborate prelude to present my hypothesis: kubo's noise form is a goose.

his (supposed) birthday is in august, and the hanafuda suit for august is quite fun for a number of reasons. most importantly: THERE'S GEESE ON IT.

in fact, i'd like to say there's some interesting symbolism going on, at least for the most colorful cards (a full moon, and flying geese). august is the card suit associated with the changing of seasons to fall, so naturally there's a harvest moon. we are going to choose to ignore the fact it makes the sky an ominous red color in this depiction. or the linguistic implications of a harvest moon. and how haz has the kanji for 'moon' hidden in his name.... the rolling hills depicted are supposed to be fields of susuki grass (one of the seven flowers of autumn. the more you know! but we don't care about that here). the geese are geese. but more specifically, they are indeed migrating!

i've seen at least one site suggest the birds in question are meant to be swan geese, which used to fly to japan for the winter. and i am inclined to think that's an accurate choice.

speaking of birds. does the color scheme look familiar by any chance?

SO. whether on accident or not, kubo matches the geese. also i think it's a really cute coincidence (if it is one) to pick a migratory bird to go with a guy who showed up, ingratiated himself into a team, and would've just picked up and left if all had gone according to plan.

conclusion: i'm gonna let kubo have one thing in common with his fake buddies and get assigned Goose by the hanafuda noise form sorter.

it's a beautiful day in shibuya, and you are a horrible goose.

[linguenuvolose]

2024 goals - January progress

Looking back I've honestly been doing super well with my goals this month! I'm very proud! It's small steps but they are making me feel good and like I prioritize things that I value which ultimately is what I want. I've been feeling calmer in life this month, that the avalanche of life changes is slowing dow finally which feels so good! I have however also had a lot of doubts and sadness and stress so it's a lot of both. Currently I'm feeling scarred but happy but stressed but calm. All over the place insomma.

Goals progress under the cut because if there's one thing my linguist ass likes to do it's saying words.

Get back into a reading routine

I have read a bit this month but nothing extraordinary. I don't know if I should do some kind of discipline thing like I have to read on my way to work every day for a week, just to see what happens. I think that could work because I do enjoy reading but I fall out of habit with it.

Meet friends at least once a month (= get better at reaching out, would be cool to reach out to people I never really knew but always found cool too!)

I've honestly hung out with a lot of friends! One I reached out to and it was so nice to catch up and it felt normal and like no time had passed. He also said he was happy I had reached out and that we should try to meet again soon. I got to meet one of my boyfriend's friends and she was super cool and fun! And then I was invited to a birthday party with some friends that I hadn't seen since summer. It was good to reconnect with them and it feels like it makes the first step to reaching out to them again less daunting. I was also very proud of myself because I managed to buy a gift without freaking out which is a huge thing for me! I also already have 2-3 hangouts planned for February. I want to be careful though to not plan too much because I kinda did this time last year and it sent me into a panic so I have to balance just chilling some weekends too.

Do the damn exercises for my back :( (possibly start going to the gym or join a sport of some kind (I would love to do salsa or boxing))

I haven't been great at doing my exercises at all (I've done them maybe 2-3 times all month...) and my back has been hurting more/in a different way so I should get on that. I've gone to two salsa classes so far though! I'm so happy I signed up for the course! I don't know that it's necessarily doing anything for my back but I get to move one hour a week. I'm trying actively to have fun and enjoy moving my body so it's nice! I do think group classes are good for me. Like if I would've been like let me start going to the gym I'm not convinced that I would do it consistently. I'm thinking maybe I should find some other class once this salsa one is over..?

Get better at Portuguese (I find it so difficult to define a level because what is my level now even?)

I haven't worked super hard on this but I listened to a few episodes of Respondendo em voz alta one week. I also searched for some kinda indie music and made a playlist. I think I did some Duolingo but now I've downloaded Busuu again so I'm working through that again. I actually finished that whole course when I kinda speedran in back in August but there are so many things I don't remember so I want to do it more properly now. I want to find a way to practice what I learn better so that I actually retain it but it's difficult.

Get my license (my permit expires in a year so I kinda have to)

I had one lesson.... It went super well and it felt good but it's kinda just the thing of finding available times. For February a goal is to make my boyfriend do the course thing so I can drive with him. I should also start studying the theory honestly. It's time I think

Get back into the habit of going on walks

I went for one walk last Saturday when the weather was beautiful! This goal I think is honestly more of a "how many hours of sun is there in a day" than anything else. Of course I don't feel tempted to go for a walk in my low-key unsafe neighborhood at 8 pm when it has been dark for 4 hours and it's -5 c you know.

Go to the theatre more (youth discount my beloved) and also to some museums!

I haven't but I started following some theaters and museums on Instagram to keep a bit more up to date with their program and hopefully get inspired to go to stuff that interest me! I did go to a poetry event, a concert and a movie so I got some culture!

Improve my sleeping schedule

I've added this goal later because like second week of the year I said to myself it's not cute to always sleep too little anymore. And then I kinda just... had a mindset change, said to myself girl you should start going to bed earlier and now I sometimes do. Which is huge compared to before. I've noticed that often if I start preparing for bed earlier I expand the time and like start cleaning the kitchen and stuff so I don't necessarily sleep earlier but I think it's still good I start slowing down and rewind earlier. I still never ever sleep 8 hours on a workday but maybe bit by bit I will get there.

[vanillavcnce]

𝙶𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚘'𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔, 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗? 𝟷𝟶'𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔, 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚊 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍.

Welcome to the mind of an ego-maniac wrapped in daddy issues and severe trauma. Below the cut is some more info on my new bby.

**BTW - this backstory is completely made up, it has incorporated some of his real life elements obviously, but I enjoy giving my muses pretty outlandish backstories so please be advised this is from my imagination and it isn't actually factual to Cody's real life or any of his actual family members.**

Full name: Cody Vance.

Birthday: January 15, 1992. 31 yrs of age.

Hometown: Clare, Michigan.

Currently lives in: Atlanta, GA.

Cody's loved wrestling since he was young, he knew in his heart that he wouldn't settle for anything less than becoming a pro wrestler one day and getting a contract with AEW made that become a reality for him.

Most people look at Cody and take him for face value and who could really blame them? He's rarely serious and you can usually find him cracking jokes, making fun of someone, or being a total idiot. He has a pretty dark past growing up in Clare, Michigan he came from a relatively 'perfect' home. The Vance family was highly respected, Cody's father was a pastor in his hometown, very loved and well respected throughout Michigan and Cody loved and admired his father, in fact he idolized him greatly. Though the two didn't always have a good relationship, in fact his father would mentally and physically abuse Cody quite often. The two would go back and fourth getting into physical altercations throughout his life. Cody's dad wanted him to become a preacher as well and go to Bible College and Cody would've done it if it meant making his father happy. His biggest struggles were with disappointing his father, so he'd often do things he didn't want to if it meant making his dad happy. His father was his hero and even though Cody's father was a very corrupted individual, he had a hard time seeing him for who he really was. It wasn't until Cody's father had been exposed for having affairs, religious abuse, and other corrupted things that he saw the wreckage and carnage of some of the decisions and things he had done. The hurt, destruction, and devastation his father had left for those around him, was enough for Cody to decide he wanted to live his life for him and to have his own dreams. He never looked back - except he very much did. He's been haunted by his traumatic upbringing and his father's actions for years and it's shaped Cody into the person he is today unfortunately. He's a bit of an ego-maniac, he's got tons of walls built up, and he often acts out as a way of coping with the trauma and anger that he holds inside.

Cody's had one publicized relationship, it was before he really blew up with AEW but most know he dated Anna Jay (I have not spoken to the Anna writer so I will leave this part pretty bare for the time being.) after he and Anna broke up, Cody spent some time alone, but he actually ended up finding someone and he got married to this woman drunkenly one night in Vegas. It wasn't a planned thing obviously and he certainly didn't wanna marry this woman, he was just looking for a bit of fun however - he decided to stay and give the marriage a try, the two eventually ended up having a daughter and he did get divorced from her about 5 months ago but he's still very present in his daughter's life. His ex wife has full custody of his daughter (due to Cody's very busy schedule) but he does see his daughter very regularly.

Cody's open for all plots, ships are 100% chemistry based for me as I don't like to force things, I lose muse when I do that. He's not really a commitment type of guy, especially after watching his own father's marriage crumble and then his own failed marriage and relationship with Anna. He could use some friends though, he's a dumbass. Lmao hit me up for plots guys!

[tiffgosmol]

my journey so far ♡

~ January 30th ~

i started restricting , no real goal except eat as little calories as possible.

i made a google spreadsheet and wrote down everything i ate!!! ~ ♡ it rly helped me stay motivated

~ February 6th ~

the first week i lost like 2kg !!♡ mightve been water weight or other things but it felt soooo good.

~ March 2nd ~

this is the day i hit my lw of my journey, at 60.7kg. it felt so amazing being close to under 60!!!!

~ March 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th ~

these days were so bad. 2700, 1500, 1800 and 3100 calories, in that order. this was so unmotivating, i stopped tracking.

i didn't completely give up of course, but by this point i was feeling really unwell. i think it was partly because of the birth control i started taking, it made me feel ill a lot.

~ March ## ~

my birthday!!!!!! of course this day was full of calories , same with the weekend when i celebrated with my family.

i didnt eat to treat myself, i ate bc it was what was expected of me, i did it to avoid suspicions!!! </3

~ March 31st ~

spring break. f#ck!!!

the two main things keeping my journey going well was being in control of whether or not (not) i would eat breakfast before school and lunch at school

on break, i lose that control. my parents know exactly what i eat and my sister has struggled with food before, she knows all of the signs. it was impossible to restrict.

then of course there was easter. celebrated at home, with my family, with my boyfriends family!?! . so much chocolate...

and i was also at a house party!!! fun right lol. plenty of calz in alchy :( and in the mcdonalds and the snacks and ughhh!!!!!

~ April 12th ~

finally, school starts up again. restricting is no longer an issue, only on weekends :)

would've had an okay day yesterday but my stupid friend bought an entire baguette and hnnngh!!!! i wuuuuv white bread!!!!!

but then it was going smoothly, i went home, bought tuna, made a tuna mayo sandwich (carbs and fat wtf?) (~400 cal) and omg protein rly is filling. i felt so satiated and so i was dancing and trynna kill some energy (and cals durrr♡) but i still didnt get hungry!!!!

but then -.- my parents buy a fatty ass mayo sandwich cake (swedish thing) and expect me to eat the whole thing. meh!!!!!! u think thats bad? they had a surprise treat for dessert. mf donut

~ TODAY!!! ~

im bloggin cause i feel gggggrreat! didnt eat anything and :D yay♡

[drunkjaked]

Omg I'm kinda embarrassed I know you said it's not bad to reply late but this is getting out of hand... how did your presentation go? I ended up not going to the other concert because my brothers got sick and he's was my ride 😔 but I was supposed to see barns courtney he's super good live it would've been so much fun 😔 I got the necklace!! I think it's called the ballina necklace? But it's basically just the logo with a pearl in the middle it's so pretty I love it like it's my own child <3 your Spotify wrapped... miss ma'am... like that's so valid of you but damn top .005% like I can't even imagine that I just. Wow. But again so valid I love that for you <3 I don't use Spotify so I don't get all the fancy graphics and data and all that but I do get my top songs of the year and my top artist of the month which is cool but I do kinda wish I could participate 🥲 it's fine though I like the app I use! I hope you're doing well, and I hope that school isn't too bad cause lord knows it can be -_- do you have any plans for the holidays? And yeah honestly matching boba and mcdonalds I think we were meant to meet <3 I hope you have a wonder amazing day/night and that every day gets better and better <3 -💕

hey 💕💕💕don't worry about it really !!! just glad to hear from you at all <333

wow.. the presentation.. i absolutely fucked up my 7 seconds of speaking time .. humiliating, but the rest of the group did so well and im really proud of them for staying calm and getting shit done <3 im also in love with one of the boys that was in the group and we all went out for drinks after doing the presentation and i drunkenly told him that i hoped the two of us would still keep talking after finishing the pres even though we don't have to and he like .. reciprocated my hopes and told me that he thinks im cute so .. that is .. just lovely.. anyway sorry for dumping all that out in here, my bad..

sorry that you couldn't go, i hope your brother is feeling better though !!! and omds that necklace is so SO pretty.. please keep an eye on it because people (me) can just be .. downright evil these days and like.. take your things from you 🤷🤷🤷.. especially the ones that they think are really beautiful and also want to possess.. haha,,, happy for you. 🙁.

my spotify wrapped.. i was like asking other people about theirs and like .. my friend's top song was a song she listened to 64 times THE WHOLE YEAR??? like i just .. was so impressed because like every song until my top 6 has 1k plays MINIMUM like .. im so jealous of people who can consume media in appropriate quantities.. it was down from last year though, my total minutes last year were 169k .. yikes .. who was your top artist and what was you top song? if you don't mind answering, also the thing about wrapped is like it's so colourful and full of patterns that it feels a little overwhelming.. like im grateful for the stats but the package it comes in is .. too much AND ITS SO LONGWINDED LIKE IT TOOK 150K MINUTES JUST TO SEE EVERYTHING OH MY GOODNESS 👎👎👎.

i'm doing pretty good honestly.. now that my presentation is over almost all of my school related stress has gone with it, i just have two more things to hand in and i'll be able to just relax and do nothing until january when classes start up again !!!

my holiday plans are pretty tame, my siblings (2 brothers and a sister) are going to come home and we'll spend time together for like a week or something before they all leave but EXCITINGLY.. my birthday is coming up (dec 17) and i'm so excited.. my birthday is literally my favourite day of the year so im reaaaaally looking forward to it even though my plans aren't particularly special 🥳 !

how are you doing? how are your classes treating you? especially around this time of the year oh man.. any holiday plans of your own?

im happy that we did get around to meeting and i hope we can be friends for a long time !!! thank u for the well wishes, as always im hoping the same for you and that you look after yourself and have lots and lots of fun ! all my love 💕, great catching up w u as always <3

[carry-on-every-neverland-magic]

I posted 3,204 times in 2022

242 posts created (8%)

2,962 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@brotherwives

@thatobiwankenobiplace

@gffa

@samrobotize

@merrysithmas

I tagged 3,154 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#samdean - 974 posts

#obi wan kenobi - 505 posts

#obikin - 490 posts

#anakin skywalker - 430 posts

#sam winchester - 308 posts

#fave - 300 posts

#fanart - 278 posts

#&lt;3 - 264 posts

#thasmin - 238 posts

#jared padalecki - 104 posts

Longest Tag: 122 characters

#*gross sobbing*                                                                                                          .

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Jared Padalecki 40th Birthday Project!

If you would like to take part please send your messages/contact me via here

@carry-on-neverland-magic or

 @padahugs on Twitter

 or email your messages to jareds40thbirthdayproject@outlook.com

All details are repeated under the cut :)

Jared Padalecki 40th Birthday Project!

I want to put together another video for Jared not only to wish him a Happy Birthday but to show him how loved he is all over the World!

Because it is a special birthday I think it would be awesome to make the messages you send in themed around the number 4.

For example: 4 things you love about Jared

                     4 wishes you have for Jared

                     4 ways in which Jared inspires/helps you

                                           4 favourite Sam Winchester/Cordell Walker moments

                     4 Dad jokes!!

                     4 favourite Jared pictures

It can be any 4 things that you want to say to Jared!

I want to make this a positive, fun and loving video showcasing all the beautiful things you have to say about Jared and why he is so special to us and a light in the World.

I welcome anyone who is a fan to join in and you can either record a video clip of yourself (please try to keep it under 1-2 minutes) or if you're not comfortable filming yourself that's absolutely fine and you can send me the message you want to say to Jared to the contact details I will list below (and I will include your message as a text slide)

Art and any other creative things are most welcome too! You can include your name and location in your messages if you want!

Rules:  

           Choose 4 things to say

           Please try and keep videos under 2 minutes

           Positive messages only (though you can of course talk about akf and how Jared has helped you)

          NSFW stuff isn't allowed

            You can contact me through twitter @padahugs

Tumblr via @carry-on-neverland-magic.tumblr.com

or the dedicated email: jareds40thbirthdayproject@outlook.com

Please spread the word! I hope we can again show Jared how much he is loved and supported!

Thank you x

264 notes - Posted January 10, 2022

#4

See the full post

293 notes - Posted September 2, 2022

#3

“Every person Obi-Wan ever truly loved---Anakin, Satine, Padmé, and Qui-Gon himself---came to a terrible end. Three of them died before his eyes; the other fell to a fate so bleak that death would've been a gift.” ― Claudia Gray, Star Wars: From a Certain Point of View

363 notes - Posted June 11, 2022

#2

See the full post

596 notes - Posted May 31, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

1,709 notes - Posted June 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[helloimchael-blog]

240101

hiraya manawari means "sana matupad", or in gen-z terms "sanaol"

The past year was THE real rollercoaster ride of my life. Who would have thought I'd survive and learn so much from that? Maybe it's character development or maybe I've just come to terms that I'm a grown-up now, who's starting to learn the gist of life and doing adulting.

For the past year, I haven't been consistent in doing my written journals, I didn't even get to write on all of the pages, and I bought it last January of 2022, thinking that I'd use it all year. I don't plan on buying any new journal now, since I always forget I even have one. So here we are, you will become my journal. You will be my one and only reader and I hope you stick around for a long time.

~

How did you celebrate the holidays? For me, I celebrated it with family, even though Tatay is not around anymore, I still tried to do the annual rituals like decorating around the house, building the Christmas tree, and having noche buena. Sadly for this year, I still haven't completed the 9-day Misa de Gallo, and I don't think I ever will. That's something that Tatay would've done without fail.

For New Year's Eve, we had dinner and celebrated with torotot (trumpets), lit up fountains (fireworks are banned where I live), and sparklers to welcome the new year. Same holiday rituals, but I know deep inside the "magic" I felt when I was younger was gone. It's not the same anymore, I've grown out of it, for the most part, but I do like to celebrate Christmas and New Year's. Both are equally important in the upbringing of relationships for friends and loved ones. There's so much to unpack, my emotions are not as stable as I seem to be, despite Nanay's preparations, there is this constant nagging feeling of not being enough, it feels like I could've done something -- her efforts do not go unnoticed by me, she may not hear me say it but I'm so proud of her for surviving. I hope she continues to do so because I'll be right there with her -- but I could've done something to keep the holiday spirit alive in this house.

Or maybe, I'm grieving.

The fact that I'm feeling this way now makes me admit that I still haven't gone over the fact that he's not here anymore. Maybe I'll miss the times when I can see my family smiling and having fun because he's the family comedian. Like a glue that sticks everyone together, and not a single one is bored. Getting a bit emotional as I type this in but yes, maybe I do really miss my Tatay. He's my Tatay for god's sake, but we can't have everything now can we? It's hard to become slapped with the realization that my achievements for the following years, he won't get to see it. He won't be there on my birthdays, my graduation, my "get-to-know-the-family-" situation, I won't get to introduce him to my partner, and he won't get to see me walk down that aisle when I graduate. I won't have someone ask me to pose on every corner to take my picture. He's the one who taught me how to capture moments, even the smallest of things, to have those feelings in pictures, frozen in time.

Now I'll be the one to say, "Sanaol may Tatay pa."

I did not expect my 2023 to go that way but I am still grateful. When I say grateful, I am grateful for the fact that life didn't end at 21. What has happened may have changes my outlook on life, made me weaker, made me stronger, made me regret so many things and yet also made me realize that I am finally living. I've lived away for almost two years now, for college, and I could say that its not easy to count up the balance for the rentals when I know that I can't even pay it myself, and instead of saving money, I buy things impulsively and splurge on makeup, just to make me keep going to school. I've been oblivious to the fact that I succumbed to the trends of this generation, and I feel so bad when I realize that I could've saved the money and used it for another time for more important things. Yes, I do get to have the chance to buy what I want, eat three meals a day, and go to college in a town 2-hours away and live in a boarding house -- but I am always reminded that we are not rich and that Nanay is working hard to provide me everything. I've only realized that now when I got older and moved far away -- maybe my studies also made me feel guilty because my grades are not exactly that high and a part of me keeps telling me that I could've done better.

"Sanaol financially blessed and stable"

The hardest part of all this is I still have to complete a case study, and really start working on my thesis, but I am the best procrastinator there is.

I don't really believe in manifestations, but if what they really say is true, then what's there to lose right?

hiraya manawari, buhay ko ay magiging masaya.

[notebookmusical]

Hi Cossette! Merry Christmas and I hope you have an amazing 2024 ahead of you 🎅

The past few months was quite eventful, but I'm very excited that I've got tickets to see Laufey at her Bewitched Tour next year & I've also got a few weeks of Christmas holidays to relax!

I felt the frustration of the reading slump: I've been reading more books electronically this year and I have came to the conclusion that it's more challenging to read fantasy ebooks (many fantasy novels come with footnotes / glossary terms). So I'm considering just buying more fantasy hardcopies or read them while I have the chance to go to bookstores!

Speaking of Maisie's discography, this is my current ranking of her music: YSUFT -> It's Your Bed, Babe -> TGW (after deluxe version came out) -> Dressed Too Nice For A Jacket - > Trying

I was initially a bit hesitant with the overall flow of the standard version of The Good Witch, but after listening to the deluxe version I found the storytelling more complete! My favourite deluxe track is def. Yoko! What about you?

As of Olivia Rodrigo, I prefer Guts over Sour: both overall & individual songs! My favourites are love is embarrassing & get him back! And for Laufey's Bewitched, I think that's one of my favourite new albums in 2023: my favourites are Haunted & Letter To My 13 Year Old Self!

Holly Humberstone's Paint My Bedroom Black is highly enjoyable! I need to relisten to it more but I love the title track 💖

P.S. I've got around listening to Del Water Gap's album and have been obsessed with NFU! I think 2023 is one of the most exciting years in terms of music releases 😃

hi jennifer!!! hope you had a wonderful holiday + wishing you all the best for 2024 🤍 i hope you've been having the loveliest time traveling too!

i'm so so jealous you got tickets to see laufey live! i missed her last tour because she was here on my mom's birthday, and then her next seattle stop coincides with when i'm out of town :( i can't wait to hear about your concert! is there anything in particular you'd like to hear her sing live? i really love letter to my 13 year old self too!!

the fantasy ebook dilemma is REAL!! i remember reading an arc of ... i want to say little thieves (which i loved, btw! would recommend if you haven't read it) and got to the end and then realized there was a glossary and was like ... well this would've been helpful! i have a lot of fantasy books that have piled up on my shelves over the last few years that i really need to get to but all i want to do is reread the starless sea (which i think i'll do in january)! i like starting off the year with a reread — i feel like it takes less pressure off deciding a perfect first 2024 read.

i love love love yoko — i was listening to it earlier and was like "wait ... this needs to be on my normal people playlist"! i think yoko is probably my favorite of the deluxe songs, but truth is and the last one are also ones i really love! and i think the song and holy revival are so fun to sing in the car! it's been a hot minute since i've listened to dressed too nice for a jacket, but i think i'd rank trying higher than it + it's your bed...!

i also prefer guts over sour — i got guts tour tickets, and i'm super excited to hear olivia live! i think my favorites are pretty isn't pretty, making the bed and lacy, but i think it's just such a good album! i do really like sour; i think i just listened to it so much when it first came out that i needed a break from it and now i just rarely reach for it for some reason?

i'm glad you like holly and the new del water gap!! i think my favorites from paint my bedroom black are: cocoon, room service and elvis impersonators, and i think my most played on i miss you already + i haven't left yet are all we ever do is talk, and losing you, so i'd wager those two are my favorites!

are there any albums you're looking forward to in 2024? i'm really excited for the new bleachers (and super curious to see how signing with dirty hit affects them, if it does at all)! speaking of dirty hit artists, benjamin francis leftwich is an artist who i really love and he has a new album coming out in february that i'm stoked for. and then i saw rumors about a new sabrina carpenter album in 2024? which i would absolutely love!

[nlghtshade]

♡ march 2022 favorites

eternally grateful to: @drarryficrecs, @lostdrarryfics, @sweet-s0rr0w and their collaborative drarry sex scene rec list, and @thebooktopus and their mutuals march rec lists and everyone out there spreading the drarry love <3

fests to check out: @hd-cluefest , @call-me-daddy-fic-fest (and @hptransfest has started posting !! happy trans day of visibility !!)

this month was a busy one so i didn’t read as much as i would've liked but i still found a bunch of gems to share !! enjoy !! also happy birthday to our fave twins gred and forge !! more weasley love ♡

“i’m sorry” by @upthehillart

*pansmione

Calleth you (2022, Explicit, 17.3k) by @daaromoltor

The room floods with white light. Harry is on his feet so fast that the chair topples and clatters to the floor, his wand in his hand and a spell on his lips. “They’re outside,” a voice speaks from the luminescent mist, magic barely enough to carry the sound; it’s stripped to a featureless monotone, far away like an echo. “I can’t hold them off much longer. I need help, Potter." Harry stares as the mist dissolves, its dazzling brightness leaving floating spots of colour on his retinas. Eyes watering, wand still clenched in his hand, he says: “Fuck.”

golden trio by @mehroomiyat

Leaning on walls is an indecorous behaviour unless you’re trying to inconspicuously hold your tiny boyfriend’s hand at the sunset by @snarkyships-drarryside

witching hour by @softlystarstruck (2021, General, 738)

this fic was written just because of a little thread of an idea in my mind :) content: love confessions, bed sharing, accidental bond (no emotional/physical compulsion), coworkers, friends to lovers

sucre & thé by @mightier

Two wizards, hanging out, about to squish faces cause they're actually definitely gay, yeah! by @anisaanisa

kiss kiss fall in love: Chapter 3 (2022, Teen, 1.9k) by @softlystarstruck

i had fun with this one! ~1.9k, rated T just for language. eighth year best friends and roommates!! | thank you @lou-isfake for the help 💕 | from this prompt list

Two Months, Twelve Days, Nine Hours (658 words) by @nv-md

It had been two months, twelve days, and nine hours since Draco left—walked right out of their flat without a backwards glance. Not that Harry was counting.

animation by @rosalyfart

Sometime during the 8th year, that was added on for Hogwarts students, Harry and Draco become trapped together in what seems to be a dark storage closet. Of course it’s Harry’s doing, pushing Draco in, (who was minding his own business) in attempts to hide from Filch. The closet is much smaller than Harry thought it would be

Sirius and Harry by @sanjiseo

Stormy Weather by @rockingrobin69

For anon’s prompt, 800 words. TW for panic attack.

ficlet by @hogwartsfirebolt

comic by @filthylittlepureblood

This is very inspired by that third year moment that changed my life and AVPS, I regret nothing And yes Draco signed the drawing bc he canonically signed that drawing, he’s just so…. special.

Harry and Hedwig ❤️ by @ygreczed-hp

Eighth Year by @snarkyships-drarryside

I’m lying when I’m looking away (2022, Explicit, 6.7k) by InnerLilith

Sometimes it takes a Purim party and a flapper dress for Harry to figure out what he likes. (Spoiler: He likes Malfoy.) Or: Come for the hamantaschen, stay for the sex.

Serious (1.4k) by @rockingrobin69

1.4k of Auror partner shenanigans with all the pining. CW for injury (everyone’s all right in the end). 

darling by @justthingsfromsarah

for the @hdcandyheartsfest prompt — darling

drarry by @istehlurvz

some things open at the close (7/7) by @hp-rbiim

draco’s family by @lilbeanz

weasley sweater by @vulcains

is draco wearing one of harry’s many H sweaters, did mrs. weasley knit him his own D sweater. idk for cayce who is hungover

unicorn tapestry by @mojgon

♡ january ♡ february

also this isn't drarry or hp related but i watched Turning Red this month and that movie SPOKE TO MY SOUL i love it so much. i think that movie was written for me lollll i wish i could download it into my brain. i'm getting ready to rewatch it again this weekend and i'm so effing excited. if you haven't seen it go give it a watch !! and if you've already seen it go watch it again ahahah !! okay bye see you guys next month :)