#THIS WAS A DOOZY

[psykoe100]

A mask of my own face.

I’d wear that.

[cewwart]

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚. cherry blossom season ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

[koroart]

Hey Siri, play “Leave Out All the Rest” by Linkin Park ( a Dimilix commission for @shinyeternatus ! ✨ )

[hotandnonbinary]

well apparently ive been inspired to compare buck and eddie to figures in greek mythos due to a couch theory post yipee

buck is either Sisyphus or Echo

we all know he loves his little hamster wheel of relationships where he refuses to self analyze what went wrong. he keeps pushing that couch up the hill just to hit a snag on the way up and instead of taking the time to get it out of wherever its stuck he just pushes it harder and ends up breaking the whole thing sending it tumbling back down for him to start all over again. he knows he has the capability of forcing it all the way up the hill but he doesnt understand that he shouldnt be forcing it at all a la taylors "i dont want to be something you learn to live with" he just needs to take actual time to fix issues instead of pushing harder.

he also really just doesnt put himself into relationships he puts whatever his partner wants. he believes his happiness is entirely dependent on them being happy and fulfilled so whatever they say goes thus making him, an echo, doomed for people to fall in love with themselves as he repeats all of their thoughts right back at them so he doesnt get left behind again. but relationships take two people with different thoughts and opinions, not one person in their echo chamber.

eddie to me feels very Tantalus

he desperately thinks he needs a relationship to fulfil his expectations of what he is supposed to be and he is surrounded by people in relationships and who are happy. he is surrounded by exactly what he wants and he is told to just reach out and grab it, just do it just get into a relationship and be happy but its not that easy for him. everyone around him deserves that happiness and those relationships but he doesnt. he cant reach out because he both doesnt think he deserves it and because honestly hes reaching in the wrong place. these perfect ideas of happiness he sees for everyone else just dont work for him but he doesnt know that because he thinks he has to be one specific way. (but in his mind only he has to suffer, no one else obviously) and if he just took a minute and actually looked he could get what he wanted in the relationship hes been cultivating all this time right at his feet instead of reaching out and desperately trying to grab anything to be full

now im too lazy to do anyone else but bobby gives me atlas for sure

[laineystein]

I am genuinely curious - what is your opinion on practicing streams of Judaism? (Orthodox vs conservative vs reform vs Reconstructionist). I’m aware there are Israelis have the opinion that diaspora Jews- especially Americans, are Jew(ish), and not necessarily Jewish, if that makes sense? I know there are asshats that get quite nasty towards Israelis and I find that to be disgusting.

Me personally, I always found that to be very hurtful. I’m American, grew up Reform. In the sanctuary part of the Temple, we had two flags positioned on each corner of the sanctuary in the front: one was American, one was Israeli. My Rabbi, my Cantor, and my Sunday school teachers raised us to believe Israelis are distant cousins. Different but similar ideas, customs etc, but all part of the same family. So when 10/07 happened I (like many diaspora Jewish people), were shaken to the core.

And no matter what my personal issues are about the process of the military operation, and Bibi and his govt, I wish and hope everyone stays as safe as they can be while trying to get the hostages out and destroy Hamas.

So I was just wondering what your thoughts are about the clashes between the different streams of practice. I always feel that now is not the time to argue about who is or isn’t more Jewish. We are all feeling the after effects of what Hamas did, and the anti semitism that it has sparked. Once we have peace, then people can debate and bicker if they wish (but I really hope less of us do that). ♥️

So I contemplated how (or if) I’d answer this because I really think Am Yisrael needs ahavas chinam right now and I don’t want to do anything to promote sinas chinam. But I think you can disagree with something and still respect it and show love for your fellow Jews who may practice differently than you do and I think that *is* Ahavas chinam.

So I’d just ask that just as I’m affording respect to others who are different that people respect my view points as well.

So here we go…

A Jew is a Jew is a Jew. Even antizionist Jews, those are still Jews. Even atheist Jews, those are still Jews. I do believe in matrilineal inheritance of Judaism but I’m not going to treat someone differently if their father is their only Jewish parent and they were raised Jewish. It is not my place to say who is Jewish and who is not; I can have my viewpoints but ultimately I am not a Rav.

I was raised orthodox. I didn’t meet a “reform” Jew until med school (which was the first time I ever went to school with goyim) — the denominations you’re referring to are mostly western constructs. There are a few reform shuls in Israel but they’re not as common as they are in America. I am going to be very honest with you and share that many reform practices make me incredibly uncomfortable. Do I think that people that practice them are any less Jewish? Absolutely not.

As someone who spent half of their life in the diaspora (albeit in very Jewish communities with little contact with goyim) I absolutely do not subscribe to any belief that diaspora Jews are any less Jewish. That’s abhorrent. I don’t personally know any Israelis that believe that but I’m sure they exist. All Jews, regardless of their location, are valid.

I will say that it is interesting to me to hear that your teachers referred to Israelis as “distant cousins” - all of am Yisrael is a single tribe. I would only ever refer to a fellow Jew as a brother or sister regardless of whether or not they lived in Israel or the diaspora. It seems there might be some anti-Israel bias in that teaching, which is unfortunate. And it’s amusing because your question insinuates that Orthodox Jews and Israelis are less accepting of reform Jews and diasporic Jews and that’s interesting to hear because my experience has always been the exact opposite.

But in Israel we have similar issues where our religious communities spar with our less observant communities. It was very apparent in our most recent elections and the protests that followed. I find myself existing in both communities and it can be challenging sometimes. Some of my secular friends do have negative attitudes toward more frum communities. Those same frum communities may look down on my more secular friends. Because I do and always have existed in both groups I see both sides. I think both of these black and white attitudes are a chillul hashem and will get us nowhere.

But bottom line, how a Jew lives their life and their relationship with Hashem is none of my business. You do you; Jew do Jew.

(This was kind of all over the place and there’s a lot of tangents I actually *didn’t* go down believe it or not so if you want some clarification, feel free to ask. Or you can DM me and I’m happy to chat about it that way too.)

[callme-adam-iguess]

Vessel Syndrome |Chapter 1|Ep 7

 Trigger warning! Self induced harm (I think), Panic attack (I think), panicked text/dialogue.

Stay safe!

Five. Four. Three. Two. One.

I don't care how many times I need to scratch or stab.

No matter how it hurts.

Out

It needs to get out.

I need to-

I can't breathe with it-

Out

Breath.

Can't let it win.

Hold it in.

I NEED IT OU—

"Scout"

The man's voice rang in Scout's ears.

"What are five dzhings Scout can see?"

He looked around.

"...bed." It hurts "door" everything hurts. "Medic.. Office"

He finally looked at the guy hugging him.

". . . H e a v y ? . . "

"Da."

"Herr Heavy! Vhat are you doink in vhere??!"

"Little man tried to huurt himself, I stop it"

"I..?"

"It fine, Now, four dzhings you can touch?"

"The- the floor... Med- *cough* med gown.. You... Dog tags."

"Хороший, three dzhings Scout can hear?"

"You.. The breathing... The stupid clock" Scout chuckled, the chuckling quickly dissolved into a coughing fit.

"Does Doktor have bandage strap?"

"J-ja! Just a momento!" The doctor said, he trying his hardest not to freak out, it was clear in his voice.

"Is litteel man okay?"

Scout nods. Even if he did have the familiar metallic taste, that he didn't want to admit that he missed, in his mouth.

"...two dzhings you can smell?"

Scout took a while on that one. He signed once, even if the form was wrong, Heavy understood 'Doctor' before Scout spoke again. "A- and... Blood."

Medic was back, giving Heavy the bandage straps. Even if it is possible that the infection isn't contagious, he wasn't taking the chance and just left it with Heavy instead.

" Хорошо... One dzhing You can taste?"

"... Blood" Scout's voice was small, barely above a whisper now. Heavy sighed, he knew that it's better not to strain the boy's vocal cords any more.

"Good, hold still"

The giant man wrapped the freckled boy's wounded neck carefully.

"... It not Scout's fault. We have to find cuuure. We will find it. Bring Scout's energy ande spirit back. Promise"

Scout teared up. He wasn't expecting this outcome at all and embraced the much larger man in a hug of his own.

"... Scout will be okay. Will find cure"

Heavy's voice was the last thing he heard before his drowsiness got the best of him and his world went dark.

 

"We need someone keep watch over Scout all times. I suggest observation rounds."

^that why Demo with Scout right now?^ "yer correct, Py-Py."

"... What happens if we're all needed in a battle? Quoi arrivant là?..."

"I AM CONCERNED WITH THIS QUESTION AS WELL!"

"Don't vorry about zhat. Ve have a Planen!" The doctor said with a tired but determined smile.

"Oh? What is ton plan then?"

"You vill see!"

[seohoho]

SEOHO | 'SEXY BACK' Stage, 2022 KBS Gayo Daechukje

[ambrose-d]

okay my legend lore analysis is that arlan is clearly the guarding giant. idr exactly what happened in chips mind but arlan “wasnt going to let [chip] have it” which clearly points to him guarding something. hes a goliath, which are related to giants iirc. we dont have enough information about the unborn kings for me to pin down what the fuck that means but the nameless prince? totally chip. we have no idea what happened before he met arlan. how can he read celestial? because hes a hero of prophecy babey. and the nameless prince story goobleck read was saying that the prince was born in the abyss and would bring the world to corruption or something like that, and yk what pirates usually are? corrupt! before he got character development chip was super in line with that. i really dont think the prince is niklaus even if the albatrio thinks so. it just wouldnt make sense. the rest of the scroll is something i have no idea abt but i have to get my thoughts out there

[youdontknowhowtodiequietly]

This is mad long, bare with, or don't lmao

TW's for: References to depression, r*pe, a*use towards women, and a bunch of other women rights related issues. I don't go in depth, but they are very much there. Be careful. Look after your mental health, please. Also a smidgen of spoilers for the Barbie movie at the end.

So, this whole tangent began with the Barbie movie. I've wrote all my thoughts down in a notebook, that's how I know what I'm going to type - vaguely. This will seem insane to have come from the Barbie movie, but I think it will hopefully be coherent. (Not like anyone will read this, lol. I am NOT anywhere near popular enough for this to even get a comment but here we go)

Right. A bit of context to my life. Since I was about 14, I have always felt that I am some sort of trans. For a while I thought I was non-binary, then I thought I was gender-fluid, then (a recent development) I thought I was a guy. So, you can imagine the absolute loop I have been thrown through when I realised that what I might have been feeling is internalised, borderline, misogyny.

Wild right? Let me explain.

Since I was 11, I have repeatedly heard the horrors of being female in this world. The rape/murders that happen on a daily basis. The horrors towards women in the past. The continued disregard for female autonomy. The abuse faced at the hands of people who are supposed to protect us. It's all horrific. Not only this, but I have seen, heard, learnt, about the way society completely destroys women. The lack of acknowledgement for the pain of females', the constant dismissal of mental illnesses, physical illnesses and disabilities (this also happens with males, too, I am aware, especially in the mental health department, but this section of this post is about people with the female anatomy.) The blatant disregard towards women who report abusive partners or stalkers is disgusting. (And that is just in 1st World countries where human rights are supposed to be the best. The horrors that happen in other countries are worse, but I am writing about what I know. I cannot say anything about other countries other than I know that there are some truly atrocious things happening to women in a lot of them because I am not educated on those situations. But believe me, I see it.) I see people AFAB lament the horrors of having the female anatomy. The wish to not have periods, or a uterus at all. The constant pressure put on women to look a certain way all the time. To not be too thin or too fat, not have too much hair but have enough that it doesn't look like you're trying too hard, etc. Honestly, the Gloria speech in Barbie is the best one I have ever heard about what it's like to be a woman. I see people expressing disgust at pregnancies, how they never wish to have one because it'll make them look ugly, or because of the complications that come with it. I have seen it, and do see it, all. For the past 7 years I have seen it all.

Can you imagine how much that has f-ed me up? I'm sure you can, because I'm sure it's also true for a lot of you.

All of this has made me hate the idea of being a woman.

When I was in my early years of high school (I'm in the UK and we start high school at 11 and finish at 16) I always said how I would "love to be a boy" because I always saw it as easier. I hated being a girl because everything was so shit. And that carried on into my later years of high school.

As I was introduced to the wonderful different gender identities that exist, I began reading and hearing stories of how trans/non-binary/gender-fluid, etc, people felt before they realised they were what they are. And I thought, "oh, damn. That me." So I began experimenting with labels. But even whilst I did that, whilst I played around with pronouns, names, hairstyles, clothing, I always felt this deep want to wear pretty dresses and have long hair. But I rejected those wants because I was "trans/non-binary/gender-fluid now and if I want those things then I can't be any of those." Which, yes, I know, is very binary of me. I understand that anyone can wear pretty dresses and skirts and have ling, flowy hair that they place sparkly pins in. I know. But you have to understand how damn difficult it is to ignore the stuff you have been taught all your life. I wanted to be called she/her but at the same time rejected those feelings because the thought of being a woman made me sick.

But then I watched the Barbie movie.

Now, I don't remember my childhood much. I don't know if it was what you would call "traditional girlhood." But I know it was good. And I know many AFAB have experienced horrendous childhoods, which hurts me to think about every time. But when I saw the ending of the Barbie movie. When the videos of those girls and women were playing. I felt something in me. I'm sure you've all heard different renditions of how the montage made women feel, and a lot of them is how I would describe how I felt. So, I won't get into it. But just know I felt a shift in me.

As well as that montage, other things in the movie got to me. The inherent femininity of it, for one. I know from discussions with other people, and from seeing many videos/blogs online, that what I'm going to mention is a common experience for a lot of AFAB. I hated the colour pink. Despised it. I only very very recently, before the Barbie movie, began admitting that the colour wasn't so bad. But the Barbie movie made me think that, omg, I might actually love the colour. Alongside the colour pink, I loved the outfits of the Barbies'. They were so freeing to see. As I wrote previously, I wanted to wear pretty skirts and dresses and have pretty hairstyles, but always refused to acknowledge that. Seeing the Barbies' in their overtly feminine clothing (again, I know I'm leaning into gender binary but please give me some slack. It's hard to write when you're not a novelist) made me feel giddy. I saw them and was like "pretty pretty pretty" and not just because all the women were beautiful lmao. It lit up a spark of joy in me seeing them dress in those clothes. That's how I can best describe my feelings. I just suddenly felt that I could wear those things. Weird, huh?

Another thing in the movie is the portrayal of happy older women.

This again links with the video montage, but also links with the old lady at the beginning of the movie saying she knows she's beautiful, with Ruth Handler being so gentle with Stereotypical Barbie and not ridiculing her for being stupid or naive. It also links with Gloria. I freaking loved Gloria. All of these portrayals made me so happy because it gave me a sudden sense of hope that I will be okay one day.

As someone with severe depression and probably autism/ADHD, who doesn't remember not being depressed, that really spoke to me. These women were happy. They were okay with themselves. No, the LOVED themselves. It was beautiful.

This movie healed me, just a bit, and let me make the first real steps to healing fully. I'm still not 100% sure about my gender identity, but tbh I don't quite care. I'm starting to wear makeup often, starting to take care of my body better. I also bought a cute little Stitch dress lmao, and a white, frilly tank-top with purple flowers on it. I'm embracing my feminine side and I've never felt more free.

It's a wonderful feeling. I'm surprised myself that this all came from a Barbie movie. But, at the same time, I think I was beginning to realise this about myself before the movie. Having finished college and not needing to worry about Uni as I'm not going has given me the freedom to actually look at myself, internally, and ask "what do I feel?" Again, linking back to the Barbie movie when Ruth says, "Take my hands...Now, feel." And I have done. I've asked what my brain needs, and it's full of pretty dresses and pretty hairstyles and warmth and a want to live again.

I'm aware that this may seem silly to a lot of people. Maybe even childish. But I don't care. And that's a lot for an 18 year old to say, because many people my age, and older, do care. A lot.

This has just been an introspection, but I chose to share it because maybe it will help other people.

(Also, heavy disclaimer if you got this far. I don't know what terms are still used now, or how they're used. And writing about girl/womanhood and femininity whilst also trying to be inclusive to those who have the female anatomy but don't identify as a woman, and those who don't have the female anatomy but identify as women is very difficult. So, I deeply apologise if I used the term AFAB wrong, or if it is no longer an accepted term. Also, if anything else in this post is wrong/offensive or incorrect, again I'm sorry. Please let me know what is wrong and how to fix it and I will do my best to edit this post with the updated terminology/fixes.)

[ohnoitsthebat]

I fucked up. Big time.

Can life stop fucking me repeatedly? And if it can't, damn, can it at least use some lube first?

[choicesweremadepod]

In this episode Meg and Kyera discuss "Outlander" by Diana Gabaldon and the first nine episodes of the television series. It's a long one, folks. Mind the content warnings near the beginning. This two part series was much more intense than either of us anticipated.

This actually came out in March but time is a weird soup.

This episode went live today!

We're back! In this episode, Meg and Kyera finish up their discussion about "Outlander" by Diana Gabaldon and the final episodes in the first season of the television series. Another long one with much discomfort and exhaustion. Big content warning at the top again.

Congratulations! You've got multiple hours of us carrying on about Outlander to get you through your Monday!

[proxycrit]

LINKTOBER DAY 19! East Reservoir Lake

The Zora siblings gets that self sacrificing from somewhere, what can I say.

Anyways, the duo absconded with the crown prince. (Alchemist Yona, you’re going to stop them, right? RIGHT??)

This is a Totk au called Familiar Familiar, and it all started when Zelda didn’t get sent to the shadow realm (and everything fell apart from there). Here’s the masterlist!

Patreon here if you like my crimes and want to feed me a treat!

[h4mmiee]

it feels fitting that i was working on this while watching x men 97 and then ep 5 hit... i might come back to it when my emotions recover but for now i'll leave it unfinished

[itsdabatt]

batman has his work cut out for him who on earth could this red hood guy could be

[oddarette]

Mango manatee 🥭

[gotham-snark]