#THIS PAINED ME TO DRAW FOR REASONS I DONT THINK I CAN SHARE BECAUSE OF SPOILERS

[wispexists]

Sharing memories (with the fey)

[lycanlanterns]

to anyone who draws and experiences wrist pain like I do i. I figured out the blindspot to solving the pain. maybe this is obvious but whatever. im honestly I'm frustrated at myself for not knowing sooner bcs I was an athlete for so long. but what always confused and frustrated me was that no matter how much i stretched the pain wasnt going away

people always linked n shared resources to stretches and it'd give me temporary relief but not deal with the issue especially not any longer than the time it took me to stretch.

u do have to stretch. but u ALSO HAVE TO WORK OUT YOUR ARMS.

the reason we are hurting so much is because that muscle is doing a lot of repetitive and strenuous motion but the whole length of your arms and wrists aren't strong enough to withstand that much work.

u cant just stretch. buy a set of light-ish weights and just pick a set of wrist and arm workouts u like. do them often. stretch and do those work outs. i really dont even think it matters which you do I do a combination of this and this

just pick ones u like that are good for you, working out can be fun and not miserable i promise. do it. save ur wrists. my life has changed, i still feel pain but ive been able to work and not be ready to cry the next day from daring to try

[ronkeyroo]

A positive Update

Friends, kind folk - Hello Again 🤍

Ever since my last update post, I've been thinking about it , a lot ;; I knew I needed time to cook and reflect, and im so glad I gave myself that...

2024 started rough for me; I fell severely ill again - I was too busy cursing my life and dwelling over how betrayed I felt by things still not getting better despite my efforts that I didn't realize I was walking into a self fulfilling prophecy. Its true that the struggles I'm going through are yet to be solved, that its gotten so much to the point giving up seemed easier, and that a couple individuals haven't been making it easier on me either; I swayed and i rattled and I steered within feelings ranging from confusion to anger to dismay and all of this back and forth did nothing but remind me of yet another self-destructive loop I just don't want to allow in my life anymore. Its exactly the kinda stuff that made me ill to begin with, and I've been so lost dealing with everything in between that i forgot to tend to the actual core centering all of this...

It grew unbearable how much emotional and physical turmoil I was pushing myself into, and knowing how intertwined these two elements have been; I had to draw a line before i majorly screwed myself over, gathering any bit of inner will to discipline myself back into some sort of clarity, enough to at least look through a lens OUTSIDE my pain for once, towards the kind of life I want to lead, and the kind of life I don't; and I came to an understanding.

From my physical state to my mental, to the people and memories I've experienced, both the good and the bad - I want to prioritize the good.

Not in a shitty ass, toxic optimism kinda way but in a "I want to prioritize knowing and living the possibility that even when it hurts, even when i want to be gone, even when life doesn't align - There's still every good reason in the world to keep moving forward, to face things from a perspective of growth & compassion, and to grow to love the promise of a better tomorrow even when today was unbearable." To know that I don't end or begin in my suffering, that the infinite potential I speak so fondly of applies to me, as well...

I want to be able to wield and create and share that goodness, too, Especially when it is already in decline...And for all gods sake, to internalize that all of this STILL exists and STILL matters even when it doesn't work the first couple or dozens of times.

As for my place here in Tumblr...I know the sentiment might feel silly to some but the experiences, memories, and connections I've made here have truly been such a significant force in my life, and i don't want to give up on that ;; Not because of my own insecurities, or an inner state of hopelessness, and especially not over a bunch of emotionally immature Anons that dont know how to handle themselves; I want to forgive all of that.

I'm stubborn, and there's an unyielding force within me that no matter how many times it is struck down, it proved itself ridiculously resilient. I'm perking up with with a fiery confidence realizing just how many times it rose back up, enough to realize it is an unchangeable part of me ;_; I shouldn't underestimate that force, and I want to keep living by its side. Whatever positive change I can sprinkle onto my life and the lives of those I care for, I will! And the reason why this space in particular is so important to me, is because so much of that already exists here, alongside you folks;

THAT'S the kind of energy i want to nourish and walk into the new year with! I want to continue growing as a person, challenging my inner turmoils, undoing the self punishing dogmas that still haunt me, stop flexing my teeth over things that don't deserve my time and god DAMN, just - indulge in the stuff that makes me happy, even when I'm going through unhappy times.

So yeah...I guess that means, I'm back & I'm staying ;_;)🧡

I know i may seem like a broken record when it comes to expressing gratitude but - Thank you, thank you thank you everyone who have reached out for me, who so fondly kept me in their thoughts and kept encouraging me whenever i was hurting, both then and now...You folks mean more than whatever ailment or struggle I can go through, and while I'm unsure of how the future will look like as I'm still going through various challenges- I couldn't have asked for a cooler, sweeter audience to have by my side whenever Its time to take a rest or hype over our sexy delicious blorbos!

Speaking of which....................I have been cooking quite a lot of things in the time i was away 👀✨ I most definitely intend to serve them, eheheh

[kame-writes]

Concerning the media overlords au:

First of all: I love it! Thank you for sharing the idea with us <33

Second: Does Alastor live in the tower with the other Vees? And does Alastor still move into the hotel? If yes, on a scale of one to absolutely how sad/pissed/jealous is Vox after receiving this info?

3. I'd like to imagine Velvette's fingers are constantly itching to get ahold of that handsome deer man, who doesn't know how to dress himself properly or trendy, and give his wardrobe an upgrade. Could you imagine this happening? (Maybe with lots of alcohol involved. So that he would at least temporarily let her experiment with his clothes. Bonus points if she is able to take picture too. Vox would obviously make himself some copies for.. private reasons...) Do you see my vision?? Can you see it??

4. Can Vox convince Alastor to do more audio features within their network? Like podcasts or interviews and the like? Or are they just screams as well? (I recently discovered a podcast about cooking, where each week they talk about one ingredient and explain a recipe with it. I think this would fit Alastor's preferences very well.. tho the ingredients might not be as commonly used now that I think about it... anyhow... now I can't stop thinking about Hannibal and Alastor hosting a food podcast.. oops.. sorry, but not really)

5. You mentioned that Husk still works in his casino, if he isn't needed. Do you have any headcanons for Niffty's whereabouts?

Anyway that's all for now! Have a lovely day/night! <33

p.s. Sorry if this ask is intrusive. For some questions it's pretty clear that I've already imagined something for myself that may or may not fit with your vision of this au. If you feel like I overstepped, feel free to ignore this or send me an alastor_fuck_u. gif :D

Im am very happy to have questions asked! You have no idea how many ideas i have and dont know what to do with xD

I'd love to see other peoples headcanons and ideas for this universe, if anyone does anything for it then please tag me so i can see ^^

This is gonna get long so I've put it under a read more

2: No one is really sure if he lives there or just works there. He HAS his own suite in the tower, but he's not always there when they go look for him, and not being able to find him is very a common occurrence, made more frustrating because he refuses to carry or awnser the mobile phone they forced on him. He hangs around in the common areas like the kitchen and living room sometimes. And if they do manage to rope him into something like a movie night its a huge hassle, because he will insist on a black and white or silent film if he HAS to engage with the tv, and Vel and Val hate those.

The whole top of the Tower is dominated by his large Radio tower though, its slightly seperated from the rest of the building, suspended above it with a staircase/ladder to enter the hatch. Valentino is usually not brave enough to check there for Alastor.

Its the same with the hotel. He does move into his own room there, but goes back and forth a lot, and doesnt have a schedule. Vox tires to pretend hes fine with it at first but often ends up the hotel to be a pain in the ass to Charlie, and getting kicked out by the staff of Alastor. Hes convinced himself that Alastor will lose interest sooner rather than later, and the others just tune out his whining at this point. No one buys it when he claims he didnt even notice Alastor was gone as soon as the Radio Demon gets back to the tower.

3: I may be planning to draw this haha He does let her dress him up ocassionally, he has a few differant suits he's approved of and kept, but does wear his original the most the time. Velvette has a line of 'Vintage chic' clothing that partly started as a way to get Alastor to agree to changing his 'ratty ass old man style' by appealing to clothes that were updated takes on his era. He still very rarely leaves the tower in anything but his own usual attire.

He does on rare occasions allow photos to be taken of him by the vees (and once, later on by charlie, under strict instructions that she keeps it to herself) but no video. And none under any circumstances are allowed on social media. He has blown up a few phones that have attempted, both the Vees and employees.

4: Alastor has agreed to be on a podcast a few times, but its rare, and only if its somehting hes really interested in talking about. It's one of the few modern things he approves of since its just a version of a radio talk show. Same with interviews, he keeps them even more extremly rare, and the mystery of the radio Demon keeps sinners in fear more than him being in the public. Vox always wants him to do more since the ratings sky rocket when Alastor features.

When Alastor has done an interview it is with his back to the camera, and sitting in a large wingbacked stupidly over the top ornate chair, that hides him from being seen, except maybe the top tuffs of his ears and antlers. And he doesnt reveal much about himself when he does. The chair is partly to hide him, and partly to stop the equitment form glitching too much. He likes to pulls faces and makes gestures deliberatly made to make Vox falter and look stupid on camera, since hes the only one who can see him in that chair.

He has teased on his own radio show that one 'lucky' sinner may get the chance to be on both a guest star on his radio broadcast AND a livestream if the mood takes. Valentino had to inform him that what he's referring to is called a snuff film

5: Niffty gets moved to the hotel pretty much full time once Alastor gets involved, Husk is a part time employee, but ends up spending less time at his casino as time goes on.

Valentino is happy Niffty is gone because she creeps him out, she ocassionally hung around his studio during work hours, especially if theyre doing a scene with 'bad boys'. Vox isn't bothered. Velvette is not happy, especially that Niffty is reduced to a maid/janitor for the hotel, and makes that very known to Alastor. Velvette loves Niffty, they are chaos sisters and work on very sketchy sounding potions together, and gang up against the boys.

Niffty is also a great seamstress herself and brings her designs to Velvette like an excited child showing off their latest art project. Almost none of these get used, but Vel has fun forcing models to parade around the studio and work in something Nifftys made, they often include bugs and bodyparts, Velvette finds this halarious.

[carzstarz]

oopsie this was supposed to be under a readmore

i feel this thing lately (as in a long time) where i guess it can be boiled down to "i want to be transgender one day" which its like. ive known myself to be transgender since i was 15, as in i had the feeling of "i wish i was a boy instead" since much earlier in life but didnt know about the term for it until i was 15 back in like 2011. i knew of crossdressing and had a fixation on it (i had a lot of ocs that were crossdressers, but upon learning about transgenderism i made em all trans instead) and like i sat with this idea since i was 15, this idea it would be impossible for me to transition in any meaningful way you know. i had figured i would never be able to go on hrt or get a name change or even present myself as anything beyond "that thing is a tomboy probably" so i stuck the idea of top surgery and testosterone out of my mind as completely as i could. annihilated any desire for it, feeling that would be a better solution than to be stuck with any perpetual longing for a body i cant have. and for a long time that did help get through the day i think, but after about a decade it caught up with me. as in like i am completely estranged from my family (not neccessarily by choice but its a win in an unsatisfactory way) and im faced with the reality of hrt being something i can just up and do. but it was several years of anytime i started to consider it, i was given countless reasons for why it would only worsen me, but now i dont think it would worsen me. this also means being face to face with dysphoria i had been ignoring for the better half of the last 10 years.

but transitioning became a very like, luxurious thought i couldnt afford to acknowledge. i have spent the better half of the last 10 years dealing with debilitating psychosis that tore me apart from the inside out, every moment im awake. even in my sleep i was plagued with disgusting and terrifying nightmares on top of insomnia. there wasnt any spare room in my mind to think of my gender when i hardly felt alive, barely felt human. which is something im not sure how to really talk about despite how much i do talk about my experience with schizophrenia. and also with the hard hard haaaard decline of my physical health took up the rest of my thoughts it seemed. of being in immense pain all the time, too painful to stand or walk, unable to do that unassisted. being in the tower, unable to traverse stairs. my chest pain, my struggles to get doctors in the first place and then to get them to acknowledge this chest pain that left me immobilized for the better half of a year. pain so immense i thought it would kill me, pain so immense i couldnt lift a cup to my face, couldnt sit up enough to draw or even hold my phone. pain that still lingers, and seems to come back harder the moment i feel i can try and apply for work, almost like its reminding me thats out of reach. but i dont think its forever, i think theres still hope of either lessening the pain or overcoming it. ive abandoned this post for hours ive lost my train of thought. thoughts i want to share even of it just means they arent circling inside of me. i feel very disconnected from it all, its like the world is spinning without me, and now that im on the cusp of rejoining it, it feels like i missed enough that i cant understand it anymore, but that just happens sometimes.

again this feeling of "i want to be transgender" but theres always something more pressing, like just struggling to be alive and generally alone with it. detatched from myself too, that im wondering if im the same person i was before this. before the tower, which is what i call the little blue room i stayed in between moving for several months that i was in too much pain to leave. theres just has to be something about staring at the same walls of someone elses bedroom with no way to entertain myself because the pain was too much to even sit upright in. i listened to a lot of new music which was nice, but because the music i had enjoyed sounded wrong on the crummy old tv we picked up from the dump and had very distorted speakers. and it felt weird to me to hear songs i knew in a different way. in which music was something i liked to fixate on, since silence would usually lead to me experiencing more intense delusions/ hallucinations, and so i always had to have sound playing to stave this off. but the experience of so much solitude in such extreme pain i couldnt even speak sometimes its like. i have to talk about it it waa so much of my life now but i feel like im not supposed to. even still when i get stressed at all it can make the pain worsen but its been getting less intense overtime but im still scared of the pain returning even if lesser. every now and then i try drawing again but its gonna take a long time to rebuild my skills and then theres the problem of what would i draw. i spent the last few years mostly drawing sonic-adjacent furries and it brought me joy like no other special interest, but now i mostly feel sick looking through my art of like. is this what i want to draw? do i still like it? i feel like i had my special interest ripped from me and it sucks. of these characters i held really dear to myself but then i had this messed up health crisis and now its like everything just feels bad, like this is someone elses art, someone elses favorite games, someone elses favorite characters. which like interests come and go but it felt like i didnt get a choice in this. it feels like the pain just rewired myself. the way i see myself is like i was entering some sort of chrysalis, and was about to grow into myself fully, and it took years and years of hating myself and slowly slowly learning to love myself and to show myself compassion, but then my body caved in on itself in my cocoon. and a butterfly didnt come out, it just fell to the side in all its agony and writhing, and i am the walking chrysalis. change (in the house of flies)

i had been considering going by a different name for a long time now, and now it feels like the best opportunity to use a new name since i dont feel like the same person anymore. it feels like even the anxiety was beaten out of me. or at least the isolation just made it into something else now. never felt like i was meant for the world, and it seemed like the world didnt want me in it either, and it succeeded. but maybe i can join as someone new, but i really wanted to be able to be myself in the world but i think i always knew that wasnt an option. i do think i died in some way and i am on my second chance as someone else, and i dont think i will be lucky enough to get another chance. or it all doesnt mean anything, but reaching into myself i can tell it isnt what it once was.

[pepper-steam-milkshake]

i think what people tend to forget (seeing all these posts on my feed atm) is at the end of the day, YOU curate your own fandom experience. there is ALWAYS going to be someone who makes content you dont like. there is a very good chance that someone whose content you do like will make content you dont like for one reason or another.

things to keep in mind?

the content someone creates is not indicative of their nature. for fuck’s sake how many times have you seen someone who looks and acts absolutely sweet and then makes the most fucked up cursed shit youve ever seen— and vice versa. the content they make is not their personality. jfc, if someone writes a story about fairies, are you gonna go, “oh, they’re secretly a fairy”? NO. so it would be appropriate to apply that to other content that you as an individual may find inappropriate

if you see something you dont like, instead of taking the time and energy to give hate to it, just walk away and leave it alone. why do you want to continue engaging with it. is fueling those few minutes of anger truly worth being an asshole? PEOPLE make content. thats right— people with feelings, emotions, experiences, memories, and lives of their own. someone took the time to write something, and then to not only write that thing but then share it with the world in spite of whatever lingering feelings they may have to it. if youre gonna shit talk, do it in private. dont do it right where the artist can see.

with today’s day and age, it is nigh impossible to avoid minors, and the same goes for adults. everyone finds their way into a space somehow. we’re all enjoying the content, and we’re all enjoying it in different ways for different reason. occasionally it’ll match up, but you cannot expect someone to share your opinions and your own view of morality. if you think murder is bad and you hate that someone keeps making the characters in your show kill people, the solution isn’t to say “youre a bad person and you shouldnt be okay with murder”. thats not the statement theyre making. also just leave them alone???

if you dont like the content and want to see something different, instead of suggesting that they make it differently, make it yourself. “i cant draw”— PRACTICE. drawing is a pain in the ass for me. im not great at it but i still practice because i want to make the content i want to see. “i cant write”—PRACTICE. experiment and try new things. “but its going to be bad”— MAKE IT BAD. everyone starts somewhere, and the only way to make your version of better is to improve on your version of bad.

just some thoughts

[alazyparallelworld]

sending an ask to engage with what you were saying was a random impulse but im happy to see you respond and give it thought, definitely wouldnt mind sending more since this is an interesting topic :3 glad you dont mind... it can be weird being a detached observer of somebody elses life specifically if they are uncomfortable with the idea of it. i think the reason i jump to using the word "oversharing" is that talking a lot generally has a negative connotation for me because i have negative experiences with talking a lot and being ignored. i guess one of my main insecurities? so maybe i dont have the same type of accidental charisma because im too obviously desperate/curating myself too much, idk. marketing myself as a persona isnt necessarily a good goal to have so maybe sharing myself in more private spaces is for the best (not like i dont compulsively share to anyone who will listen anyway)

also being the way that i am i dont appreciate the observers/audience i DO have enough because im constantly looking for evidence of it. kind of a never enough situation. i definitely think i just have to let it go & if it happens it happens. actually, i do have a decent chance of gaining a following over my art, and when i got more interactions i swear it was when i drew more, so i guess that is part of whats happening with you. art drawing people into somebodys persona or something? i wonder if part of it is just like, when scrolling the dash peoples attention is caught more by images so it makes somebody more likely to get invested. but i think your art has a lot of personality and its what personally made me interested in following your blog so i guess the art is just like, one piece of the whole of a "persona"

diving into the pure psychological sense… going to put the entirety under a read more.

leans back, in the "contemplating therapist" pose and aura. This is a distinct position for anyone familiar.

forgive - me - in the event of bad perspective. entirely: i am not a medical professional, and if these woes are Distorting your life into an unhappiness (ability to function, socialize, that ilk) on a regular basis, either from the 'expected' of bi-weekly to the 'constant' of daily - internet guidance should be an appetizer, at best…!! while a peer's view is quite different from a, "Went to college for half-decade for this particularity" employee, they are both helpful -

but I don't mean. "Go to a therapist," because: i minimized my daily-distortion of BPD (fond Bitch Personality Disorder) thru worksheets, pamphlets, scientific texts. this conversation between us is 'improper' text, ""Uneducated"" but it is not without merit. I just don't want the existence of only two options - "[symptom of mental disorder] reddit" or "therapist that specializes in [mental disorder]" in an analogy. There are a plethora of ways to better yourself - "so maybe sharing myself in more private spaces is for the best" cannot be the single possibility. i believe in you - broaden yourself, and do not hastily imprison yourself to Any distraught for the easy answer, "better in the long run"

what you desire is evident. That is a crucial first step, and your life is measured in the thousands of footprints. Time is here for you - there is no real clock, rather, you know where your satisfaction is in space. Be proud of self-awareness, of identifying desire, these are inch forwards.

now, your path forks - "can i transfigure that want, into something 'healthier," "is there a healthier route to that want," and how exciting is that…! how to min-max pain and pleasure, that is the basis of all species. and if the decision solidifies further into, "i have to go home, i have to let this all go," that is the first option. there is no shame in release.

that is my thought on. "insecurity," and i hope - even if very inaccurate, maybe Inappropriate, your reaction of 'that's wrong!' strengthens what you know to be true.

[head on desk] That's a heaviness…! not on you. This could've been a very simple answer. I'm strange and chattery, for I don't talk IRL and only online. At least, in length…

ART…! art is eye-catching. It is intrinsic. Of course, my artwork pulls people in (but I captured attention b4 I started, as I only began in winter 2020, blah) for any colorful stimuli it kickstarts the brain. Nervous symptom responses.

(i don't think it provokes the sympathetic nervous system SPECIFICALLY, but i'm not abt to rabbit-hole myself into certainty. sensory is prolly also incorrect, just in a 'less wrong' kind. i'm singling out nervous specifically, as the 'colorful'ness of art prolly agitates the body first into, 'is this a toxic plant' survivalism and NOT the visual aesthetics of being 'pleasing to the brain,' i think that's a secondry concern, aaaand i'm rambling abt special interest SORRY)

word-of-mouth, 'reblogs,' or searches is how people notice the un-art. Fanfic writers. Clever meta. Observations. Diary-ing. to 'appeal,' you have to either - as mentioned previously - change yourself, or redirect your goal - but for less extensive… Journaling via pen-and-paper, or a notes app, is easy in THEORY but difficult in PRACTICE. these don't fulfill the, 'exchange,' because journals and notes are private. However. These are good practices. Writing onto yourself sharpens the ability to communicate, your dialect - there's a difference of 'early' ramblings here to current ones. (admittedly, a, 'there's been developments in psychosis,' is a portion rather than True improvement, but it's not a singularity)

review sites i.e letterboxd and backloggd serve similarity, but are dedicated to movies/video games respectively. And, they center around either criticism, or humor - which isn't what you want… you want your natural self to be attractive. I do think you could find enjoyment outside, and it can be good fun or a learning exercise finding out that You Hate Writing Meta.

[enetarch-happiness]

2024-11-15

For the past 2 weeks ive been dealing w a fever, stomach pain, rash, swollen tonsils, body aches and pains, other issues. Ive gone through a lot of testing and still more to go through. A CT scan has shown that my liver is having issues.

Taking care of my body has been a big part of my life as i hope to live to 150 yrs old. Medical science is progressing at a rapid pace. Maybe whats happening to my liver is nothing, maybe its something. But, the goal still remains .. to take care of my body and be happy while im here.

Im not looking for support, instead, i want to teach you how to be happy 95% of the time.

Ive gone through a lot of shit in my life, and used to wonder if i would ever be happy. What a lot of self help books get wrong is the focus on .. A Positive Attitude .. The reason why this is wrong is that when you catch yourself in a negative attitude, you beat yourself up automatically. This just reinforces the problem you are trying to correct. There is a better way.

Emotions in ADHDrs are triggered by external events. Our emotions switch per event. From this perspective, ADHDrs can group events into 3 catagories .. neutral, positive and negative events .. then we can look at how often these 5ypes of events occure .. 95%, 5%, and < 1%, respectively.

If negative events only occure leas than <1% of the time, why do they get such an outsized amount of time in our brains. Its because of the negative thought storm they create. Our brains get one negative event, which reminds us of another negative moment, which triggers a conversation w our internal monologue, and triggers more negative emotions, and the cycle repeats.

If this cycle happens automatically in our brans, then the positive cycle can also happen in our brains. Maybe we just need to learn how to do it manually, until it becomes automatic. And, maybe i can find ways to turn the neutral events into positive events to reinforce the training.

My medical problems have been testing this process. Every test is a positive event. The results may not be positive, but how i share them, work with them, decide the next step is. If, in the end, i dont live to 150, i will have experienced what it is to be happy, at peace, w gratitude, snd surrounded by friends who care.

As an ADHDr i externalize my emotions by drawing emojies to see how i feel. And, i curate positive events to keep myself in a happy state. And, im extending this simple philosphy into other aspects of my life. By adding emojies to ToDos i can now see what ToDos i want to do. I start w those ToDos to get s running start that will move my mind from a .. i think i can do this .. to a .. Can Do!! .. attitude. Its a lot of fun to watch.

While my medical issues may impact my long term goals, i will still do what i can, when i can, and for as long as i can. Regardless of the hurdles though, the goal is there to remind me of what im aspiring to do, and i use that to motivate me to work on the next bit. The next small step that i can accomplish to move me closer to a goal. Its like a game w small fun wins.

Hope this helps you find a happy life.

[verathena14]

listen i KNOW people wanna vote for pearlina (that is their ship name, right?) but PLEASE HEAR ME OUT. Soriku have been in love for 21 YEARS, and the only reason they aren't canon yet is because of Disney. But there is so much evidence and potential for their relationship to become canon that someone (the super cool tennelle flowers!) was able to create a 6-HOUR video essay about it. If that doesn't say something about their plausibility, then I don't know what does.

more propaganda + aforementioned video essay under cut:

Fellas, is it gay to give your bestie your family heirloom when they get scared of a meteor shower as kids and hold up a wooden sword and swear you'll always protect them? Is it gay to be overcome with feelings of jealousy when said best friend starts hanging out with a girl? Is it gay to joke about sharing a magical fruit with him that means your destinies will be intertwined? Is it gay to open the door to darkness when he draws a picture of himself sharing THAT SAME fruit with the girl you're jealous of? Is it gay to realize that you fucked up and sacrifice yourself to save your best friend and the girl he likes because you know it's more important that he's happy? Is it gay to spend an entire YEAR watching over your comatose best friend while his memories get repaired, and say multiple times "everything is for Sora"? Is it gay to see someone who, for some reason, appears to look like your best friend (xion) and stroke their face? Is it gay to give up your form and take the body of the person who manipulated you into falling to darkness in the first place to help your best friend wake up? Is it gay to avoid him even when he looks for you, saying "there were some things [riku] couldn't tell sora. it had always been that way" in a VERY closeted-gay manner? Is it gay to have your best friend fall to his knees when he FINALLY finds you and cries "i looked for you! i looked everywhere for you!" after he just shared a very awkward hug with the girl he supposedly likes? Is it gay to throw yourself in the way of a devastating blow, earning yourself a scar and probably chronic pain in the process? Is it gay to sit with your best friend in LITERAL HELL and say you'd be fine there as long as you're together? Is it gay to UNCONSCIOUSLY CHANGE YOUR ENTIRE SPECIES to protect your best friend in his dreams? Is it gay to have a conversation with Hunchback of Notre Dame characters about "having to keep things from the outside world, at least until you have time to figure them out" (THIS IS A METAPHOR FOR BEING IN THE CLOSET)? Is it gay to have your combined hearts' song be called "dearly beloved"? Is it gay to think of your best friend as your light? Is it gay to parallel LITERALLY EVERY DISNEY COUPLE UNDER THE SUN? Is it gay to refer to your best friend as your "taisetsu na hito" (roughly translates to "precious/ cherished person" or "person I love most") and say that your "doubts and fears are gone" and your adoptive father (michael mouse. dont ask) tells you "perhaps it's because you've finally found that special strength to protect the things that matter (the JP line is taisetsu na hito; the english translators made it very no-homo)"? Is it gay to sacrifice yourself again for your best friend? Is it gay to call out your best friend's name when you're about to collapse and see him FALLING FROM THE SKY and stare at him with the BIGGEST HEART-EYES EVER? Is it gay to have your souls form a giant rainbow-colored sword with a giant heart at the top? Is it gay to care so much for your best friend that you let him go save the girl (who's dead now oops) that you still think he likes because you're too oblivious to realize that HE LOVES YOU BACK IDIOT? (tbf tho neither of them realize it; sora's goin thru some major comphet)

Is it gay to have SO MUCH gay subtext that someone can make a 6-hour video essay about why you're homosexual?

Pearl & Marina (Splatoon) VS Sora & Riku (Kingdom Hearts)

[gay-dorito-dust]

I read like all your werewolf by night stuff and they were amazing. I need more jack Russell and just fell in love with him instantly. Okay enough with me rambling but if you dont mind can you write Jack with reader. And could be reader be thinking about #24 to Jack and think jack deserves better than them?

A/n: I’m very humbled that you like my werewolf by night stuff. I saw the lack of fics and decided to do something about it cuz that’s a crime to Jack Russell. So if anything I’m blessed with the ability to get to write for this character. He deserves it.🦦

Prompt list

Prompt 24- you deserve so much better then me.

‘He’s so beautiful it physically hurts.’ You thought to yourself as you looked down at Jack’s sleeping face, running your fingers through his hair as per your morning ritual, watching adoringly as his features were bathed in the soft golden glow of morning. You felt unworthy of a love as pure as Jack’s. You felt like a fraud, a fake, a deceiver of his trust even when you’ve kept his secret tightly to your chest as though it was your own.

You couldn’t pinpoint where these feelings came about but you were stuck with them either way and you had to deal with it. Never had you ever been given reason to doubt your relationship with Jack; He has been nothing less then kind, caring, attentive and overall the standard of what a romantic partner should be. You, on the other hand, only believed yourself to being selfish and taking advantage of the kindness given to you. Out of everyone Jack could’ve possibly chosen, he chose you and every day since then you’ve asked yourself why?

Why out of every possible suitor did his heart chose you? What made you special in comparison because each time you looked in a reflective surface of that a mirror or a river, you only saw boring, bland, you staring back. Your eyes didn’t hold stars within them, your smile didn’t beam brightly and you neither lighten up a whole room upon arrival nor made heads turn in your direction. You didn’t understand how Jack could look at you with unconditional love within his eyes and proudly hold your hand in his own without any ounce of shame of being seen with you. It didn’t make sense to you that someone like him could find you remotely attractive never less attractive.

Sensing that your hand had stopped stroking his hair, Jack opened a bleary eye, groaning softly, as he looked to see that your eyes were afar from reality as you were deeply lost in thought. Naturally he was less to believe something has been troubling you for awhile as he slept and he sat himself up against the headboard. “Y/n?” He said softly, knowing that by this time of day Ted was potentially making a mess out of your kitchen in an attempt of making you all tea. Another reasoning behind his choice in tone was that Jack didn’t want to alert his friend by raising his voice by raising his voice above a certain volume.Ted’s intentions towards many things were pure but due to his hulking mass of foliage and fungi, Ted was susceptible to causing accidental damage of his surroundings.

“Y/n.” Jack tired once again, this time making his voice loud enough to draw you back to the reality of your shared bedroom. “Nice to see that sleeping beauty has finally awakened.” You joked, going into press a kiss to his forehead only for him to move away, causing a twinge of pain in your chest. “Jack?” You asked, pulling away, rummaging through your head of what you had done in recent memory to earn that type of reaction. “What’s wrong?” You were worried that Jack had finally came to his sense and realised that you weren’t compatible with him and that he was going to admit in falling out of love with you. “I think I should be asking you that question,” Jack reached a hand to hold your cheek, stroking his thumb against the skin there almost reassuringly, “what’s wrong, you seem to be getting more and more lost in your thoughts nowadays. Let me help, you trust me right?”

“Of course I trust you Jack!” You cried, “I just…” your voice quietened gradually, “it’s…it’s stupid. Nothing worth you loosing sleep over.” Hurt by your hesitance to open up about your issues, Jack felt as though he wasn’t doing right by you as your partner in tackling your problems together and genuinely believed for the briefest of moments that you were falling out of love with him. “If it’s hurting you then it isn’t stupid, I’d rather lose all the sleep I could possibly get if it meant lifting the burden from your shoulders.” He says, resting his forehead against your own, closing his eyes, “when we entered a relationship together we agreed that whatever adversity we face, we face together. So let me fight by your side and rid you of your inner demons. For seeing you suffering in silence breaks my heart.” You brought your hands to hold his face, pushing your forehead against his own as you felt tears well behind your eyes.

“You deserve so much better then me Jack.” You finally admitted, not looking at him in fear of gauging his reaction, “I’m unworthy of being your friend never less your lover; Your soul is so full of light that I fear that one day I would only dampens it into extinction. I fear that one day you’d wake up and realise truth within my words and start looking elsewhere for someone who would look perfect right by your side, realise that in the end I wasn’t anything special.” Jack’s eyes seemed to shine with hurt and disbelief at your words that it only made you hate yourself even more if that was even possible. How could you dump your troubles onto the most genuine man you’ve been met, what gave you the privilege to do that to Jack? God you were so fucking selfish that you were borderline crying for reassurance that you didn’t fully deserve.

Jack didn’t want to believe what he was hearing. It felt wrong hearing such venom come from your mouth and aimed at yourself because to Jack every single word was absolutely false. The demons within your head was plaguing you and he couldn’t do anything about it. Jack knew it was near impossible for him to convey his every emotion through words, seeing as they’d only get him so far without gradually starting to sound repetitive and insincere. It frustrates him greatly that he didn’t take the signs he was seeing and piecing them together to see the full picture. How could he see so clearly yet after so blindsided.

“I don’t like it when you say things like that. To me,” Jack removed his hand from your cheek to lift your chin so that you were staring him in the eye, “you’re perfect. You truly don’t understand the extent of my feelings for you and I don’t think I do either as I find it difficult to even find the words to describe how you make me feel. In my eyes, you brighten up every room you’ve walked into, your eyes shine as though god plucked two of the brightest stars in the sky and placed them there. In my eyes, no one has a laugh as beautiful or as infectious as yours, no one has a heart as unique.” Jack placed a kiss to your cheeks, wiping away the tears there in the process as he smiled lovingly at you when he pulls away. “You wanna know why?” “Why?” You asked, desperate to know his innermost thoughts about you. However instead of words, Jack pressed a chaste kiss against your lips, pulling away just as you were about to reciprocate, “I love you so very much.”

Lost within your little moment, neither of you noticed Ted standing on the doorway of your room with two cutesy cups of tea within his significantly larger hands, not wanting to interrupt the scene before him but also not sure how to inform either of you that the tea was going to go cold.

[hexhomos]

I don’t know if you’ve already answered this but is there a reason for why you draw Viktor (pre Machine Herald) taller than Jayce? I know you aren’t drawing Arcane’s Viktor and I know Machine Herald is 6’2 while Jayce is 6’0 but I haven’t been able to find anything about his height before he evolved. Am I thinking too much about this and it’s actually just an artistic style? Or like, maybe it’s just the way you like (or are used to) to draw? him

Generally speaking: there is no Hard Canon explanation for it, Its something I've chosen because I think a lanky bodytype suits him (my leaguevik has messed about with hormones way earlier as well) and its cute, like a long flappy stringpuppet!

But on a completely different axis:

I started to get genuinely uncomfortable with the ways fandom would exaggerate arcane's height difference, more often than not babyfying or ukefying viktor (or professing him to be "Inherently More Effeminate" via stature) to make jayvik fit very limiting cishet gender role boxes. This comes paired with the "aggressor cis jayce" tropes and is Very Common and I wasn't vibing with it at all. The other thing it sidesteps is the overwhelming anorexia-chic style of vik fanart; you can draw thin people without making them look like proana adverts and I've seen a fair share of depictions of him that struck me in a *really* weird idolizing the consumption and pain way. Making him into a long rectangle gets rid of that. And tbh it also feels like people take his character more seriously when he's not something that can be easily sorted into the above categories? I dont want my fanwork to feel like it's playing into these tropes, or feeding into the cycle where they are The Only Thing Allowed To Ever Exist.

My league designs are a conscious effort to make things I don't see often. I want to make ship art without it being a determinist "so THIS is the top and THIS is the bottom" sentence. It's not how I interface with my sexuality and I personally don't think its how jayce or viktor would go about it either. Distancing myself from common fanon signifiers and their expected baggage allows my audience to embark in this beautiful wubbyland adventure with me, and also helps me not go completely insane

[whatshouldwecallchronicillness]

How does a person go about asking their doctor what kind of tests could be taken to figure out a medical issue? And how do you ask them what they tested for on a blood draw. Finally getting mystery bone/joint issues looked into but I don't know how to be assertive if I need to be

Great that you are interested in getting more involved in your care!

A doctor should absolutely be able to share their clinical reasoning in terms you can understand. In fact, anyone in healthcare should be able to explain what they are doing and why. There's things you can do to help get that info out of them.

A good place to start when embarking on self-advocacy is to have some goals. As an OT, I make my clinical and personal goals about function. Here's what my process looks like:

I had a goal to increase my sitting tolerance to unlimited during the middle of the day so I could do computer work and hobbies. Once I had this goal, I looked at what my barriers were. One was an obscenely low blood pressure. So when I went to my doctor I told him, "Here's what my sitting and standing blood pressure has been this week. It's preventing me from sitting up as much as I need to. How can we figure out why this is happening? What can we do to address this?"

( I could also add in my own opinion here if I have good rapport with the doctor. This can be tricky though, so proceed with caution. If you do add an opinion, it's great to phrase it as a question, "I've heard of a condition that causes joint pain called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Do you think that could explain some of my symptoms? What other types of things are you looking into?" That gives you some agency, while still respecting the doctor's expertees. It makes them happy and happy doctors are better doctors, imo. If your doctor acts dismissive, it could be because they are a jerk, or it could be because they have excellent clinical reasoning behind them not thinking the issue is *insert diagnosis here* but generally don't offer that info to patients because they have enormous pressure to make their visits quick. Either way, you can get some good information with something like, "Can you explain why you dont' think it could be x? What other things are we looking into?")

Anyway...

My Doctor ordered some tests. I happen to be pretty medically literate, so I didn't need to ask what he was ordering or why, but this would be where I would ask those questions. They may look like, "What is an MRV?" "How would an MRI of my brain tell us something about low blood pressure?" I tend not to ask questions like, "What if all these tests are normal? What are the steps after that?" because that's just borrowing trouble from tomorrow. haha Those questions can come at the follow up appointment. The reason why I might ask those questions is if I would not have continued access to the doctor for some reason (financial, distance, appointment waitlist, etc.).

At the end of each appointment, I ask to summarize things and quickly go over the next steps. This makes sure we are on the same page and I know what my responsibilities are and what others' responsibilities are moving forward. That looks like:

"Ok, so we are looking at the circulation in my brain causing the low blood pressure. You ordered an MRI with contrast at X hospital. What are my next steps? Do I call the hospital, or will they call me to schedule and figure out insurance stuff? Should I see you again after you get the results?"

In my case, some tests results were normal and some were not. At my next appointment we went over the abnormal results and I asked what they meant and got a good explanation of the processes going wonky in my body that led to my functional impairment. My doctor suggested a referral, but if he hadn't, I could have asked, "What kind of doctor treats this? Do you have any recommendations?"

I saw the specialist and had a procedure to address the issue. My blood pressure is much better and I have unlimited sitting tolerance now. Goal achieved! Yay!

This is a medical fairytale and not what I can expect every time. But it's nice and neat, so it's a good example of the process.

It would also be really rare if you could jump into full advocacy mode right away. It can be pretty scary and intimidating! I still have trouble with self advocacy with some doctors. Write your goals and questions out ahead of time and bring them with you to your appointment. If asking all of them is overwhelming, maybe have one or two highlighted and focus on those. It will get easier with practice, but slowly and over time.

You got this!

[ataraxianne]

Okay I have this kinda gwynriel headcanon which I think it's pretty cute and I wanted to share

- in acosf Cassian said both Rhys and Azriel were interested in that universal-ish-globe-thing Rhys has in his study but Azriel was the one who liked it the most

- so let's imagine he starts to develop an interest in the galaxies and universes and stars and so on

- like he starts learning things and theories about other worlds and other universes

- he even starts buying a "globe" himself, bigger than the one Rhys has, he buys books and above all a telescope

- because he especially likes stars, for some reason. Because they're bright, they shine even despite all of the darkness around them, and its kinda reassuring to him to see that something so nice and bright can still be there, especially after he himself has spent a lot of time in the dark

- because they're his court symbol. Because those three stars are like he and his brothers, and all he ever wanted was to belong

- he likes galaxies because there is an abundance of stars, of these little bright dots that come all together in groups and even tho he doesnt particularly likes being in great crowds he likes being with his friends, his family. They're his galaxy

- and then one night it's his first night with Gwyn, and they're in his house at Rose Hall, which technically became his mother's house since she had preferred a bit of solitude in all these last years and he didn't mind giving her that and staying most of the times at the House of Wind

- but tonight he didn't want to go elsewhere, it seemed right to be there even tho he had never felt quite at home in that house because of all the time he spent elsewhere and how big and empty sometimes it felt to him

- but maybe being there with a female he liked - loved - so much - with his mate even tho it still seemed too surreal to say such a thing - would have made that house more of a home

- and so there they were, in his house, in his room, in his bed, cuddling after the night, face to face and his shadows were dancing and curling around her face and she was giggling ans grinning, taunting them with her free hand while the other one was resting on his chest

- and it was all so quiet and tranquil but at the same time clear and joyful and his ears had never been filled with such a pleasant sound

- and his shadows seemed to think the same

- and they kept twirling around Gwyn until she turned a bit more her head toward them and the light of the moon coming from the window reflected on her naked body and made her already so bright real eyes shine even more and he couldn't stop staring at her mesmerized and couldn't stop his hand from reaching up her glowing cheekbones and

- "you have galaxies on your face" he said as he caressed her cheeks covered in freckles, in an abundance of them, as many as the stars in the sky

- she turned her head back to him and smiled softly and then it turned into the usual smug she put on when she was taunting him, and he couldn't help smiling back to her because gods, how much she loved her, especially when she did that

- "oh, you should see the rest of my body, Shadowsinger" she said back

- but you play this game in two so "I'm perfectly sure I've seen a lot of that too" he responded, emulating her expression

- at that she smiled again, even more than before and he didn't know how that could have been possible but it was even lighter and brighter and not even the moon and all of the stars could ever have compared to Gwyn's smiles

- smiles that were only for him and he couldn't believe that and he was so weak and abandoned the game too soon and moved to kiss that smile, softly, as it was the most precious and fragile thing in the world and could allowed anything to ruin that

- and it felt so good, so right so right so right and then she was closer to him, hugging him tightly while still kissing and it was as warm as home

- they stayed in that position, intertwined like that even after the kiss had finished, looking in each other's eyes sometimes caressing, sometimes kissing again, always with a tiny smile on their faces - even tho Azriel thought his looked more like a drunken one

- and then Gwyn asked, with that lovely smug back on her face "will you fly me to one of the real galaxies one day?"

- and something clicked in Azriel's brain

- "come with me" he said, and kinda reluctantly broke the hug he was into and started putting something on

- "wait, now? where?" Gwyn asked, curiosity and amusement spreading on her face, but started putting her undergarments back on

- Azriel didn't answer but smiled again and handed her one of his robes

-(he didn't think much about it, it was just for her to cover since it was chilly and maybe she still preferred a bit of coverage, after so many years spent in the Library - but at first it reminded Gwyn of their first meeting, tho the scene change easily and swiftly, as soon as she put it on and felt like in a warm embrace that has his scent)

- she smiled lightly and reached Azriel, who was waiting for her next to the door and together they went out

- it was darker that they thought so they mostly stumbled in the hallways and Az accidentally hit his wing against the wall gaining a harsh look from Gwyn

- "dont you dare wake up your mother now" she hissed even tho he could sense the laugh she was trying to cover (and even tho, if his mother was to wake up, the rumours they provoked in his bedroom minutes ago would have already worked- but he didn't say it to Gwyn)

- he took her hand and lead her to a staircase, and they went up on the higher floor of the house, to one of his favourite rooms there

- as soon as they entered and he lightened up the room something told him that Gwyn might have liked it too

- the room was quiet big, full of all things, along with a couch and a low table, bookshelves who took one full wall, while the other two where almost completely made up of windows, who gave a full vision of the night sky outside

- in front of the windows there were two different globes, one similar to the one Rhys had and another, bigger and more complete than that his brother had

- and then a telescope, already positioned and turned toward the side sky

- Gwyn started moving in the room, cautiously, with her white skirt and his grey robe almost floating around her legs

- she reached the bigger globe and started admiring it, following the writings and drawings on it with his finger and turning around it with her wide eyes open and her mouth in a tight line in silent awe

- and then she started talking, with a melancholic smile and told him how there were lots of astronomy books in the Library but neither globes or telescope, and it was so painful to her and her curious mind not being able to see the incredible things she was reading and how much she relied on her imagination to try seeing at least in her mind that concept of infinity those books gave her

- so Azriel got closer and extended an hand, and walked her up to the telescope and letting her see it all, the stars the galaxies, the endless universe they lived in

- and they started talking

- and it was so relieving to both of them, to talk about something they didn't even know why they were so fond of, but that someone always kept them mesmerized and craving for more knowledge

- but especially talking about it with someone who they know would listen and they weren't kept back because it was not much of an interest for others or because it was pointless to the others general studies

- they spent the night like that, and he showed her books and star maps he collected and she too about books she read and theories she had or shared

- The next morning, Azriel woke up on the couch, charts and maps and open books spread over the table, while the sunset reflected over them and the female asleep in his arms, with his shadows slowly dancing around her and galaxies on her smiling face

IF YOU READ TIL HERE, THANK YOU!! HOPE YOU LIKED IT♡♡♡ If you didn't, sorry if I wasted your time😅

[sprawa-przybyszewskiej]

Ekphrasis in The Danton Case, Thermidor, and their adaptations

Ekphrasis is invoking a piece of visual media into a literary piece. It can be done for a variety of reasons, from entirely pragmatic (mostly grounding the literature in reality - if the invoked piece is a real piece of art, one you could find in a museum, for example) or more poetic (drawing some symbolic meaning between the piece of art and the idea behind the text).

In Przybyszewska's plays ekphrasis is nonexistent, at least on the foreground. I don't recall any clearly established visual, given to the readers by the original author. It's not weird in any way - how many pieces of medai do you recall which refrain from its sophisticated and additional piece of subtext and iformation? Hundreds, probably. The only other artistic thing that she has weaved into her plays is La Marseillaise, which is invoked twice in The Danton Case. There are also three book references to Othello, Orlando furioso and this one book Robespierre summarizes to Saint-Just when he's talking about hatred (but of which I have no idea if it's a real one - it probably is - or not). Other than that - nothing, plus the books count only a little, forekpfrasis should be, as I said, visual in nature.

Of course, the historical aspect of her works is what grounds them in our reality, and so cleverly, too (seeing as they're not really historical plays in any way or form, but manage to fool most anybody). And thanks to her extensive stage directions, we have no need of any additional element helping us visualize the scenes, for she does it perfectly enough on her own.

However, seein as these are plays calls for a mirror ekpfrastic effect and thus theatrical and cinematographical adapations are born. And they, on the other hand, have a potential to be filled to the brim with visual refernces. Here I would like to have a look at a few, which are taken from one of the most well known staging and the famous Wajda movie (plus some). In no particular order, there goes:

This is the very first scene of a controversial theatre adaptation of The Danton Case. Instead on portraying Robespierre as a firm leader, who only in the very end collapsed temporarily under the huge responsibility he now had to bear, the director decided to portray him as someone physically weak, not in the sense Danton meant when he called him a weakling, but in the sense of somebody who already bears so much responsibility, pain, physical ailments, doubts and whatnot. Just: everything, everythin a human could possible deal with, he deals with, and has to do so in a way that doesn't make people suspiscious about his "shortcomings". There is a interesting parallel between him and Saint-Just, whose upright and unbreakeable character is symbolised by a neck braces, something which people wear after a spine endangering accidents - and incidentally, wasn't it Saint-Just who accused Robespierre of "breaking his spine"? But not in this adaptation, oh no - here their very last scene is cut extremely short and they recite the last few sentences along with some Thermidor lines as two floating heads, a vision into the future which awaits them.

Enough about Saint-Just, though, let's focus on Robespierre and Marat. I must admit I know next to nothing about him, only what some passage here and there in this or that historical study might tell me, but I know, as does everybody, that he was known as L'ami du Peuple, which is why of the reasons, I think, why the director took this image and transposed it onto Robespierre: to make him even more likeable, to show for the umpteenth time that it is Robespierre whom we should cheer on and whom we should feel sorry for. This might also be a parallel between their both's tarnished health, their premature deaths and - last but not least - the role of an icon of the Rvolution both of them play in nowadays' audience's minds. You don't have to study history to knowwho Robespierre was, you don't have to study art to know this painting. Even if you don't agree with some more in-depth explanation of linking this person to this painting, it is a good opening image. It captures our attention in a good way.

I had mention Saint-Just and there he is, in the background of the picture, symbolically assisting Danton and his clique in their last moments. Instead of shwoign them in torn shirts, the director went into another direction altogether and enshrouded them in white sheets from heads to toes, making them all look like very stereotypical ghosts, whom they will all become in just a couple of moments.

In Polish culture, the first thing that comes to mind when talking about ghosts is Dziady, an old slavic tradition that is now replaced with the Catholic All Souls Eve. Dziady is no longer, apart from perhaps some small minorities who still practice old pagan faiths, but as a ritual, they are immortalised in a play by Adam Mickiewicz, undoubtedly the greatest Polish poet ever. Everybody know this play, some scens - by heart, and they were and are being staged pretty much constantly from one point on. Needless to say, they inspire a lot of art, and I decided to show this very fmous poster by the most famous Polish poster designer, Franciszek Starowieyski…

…who is important in this case, because he played David in Wajda's movie.

Not many people know - because his other carreer overshadowed by a lot his first one - that Wajda was a painter. Who actually hated his art, some of his pieces are in the national museum of contemporary art in Łódź alongside stars such as Władysław Strzemiński (the hero of Wajda's very last movie), which is a fact he absolutely detested. I dont know, nor do I care, why was that, because what matters is his previous education as an artist at the very least helped him not only to envision the visuals of the movie, but also acquainted him with great works of art. On which he could model this or that setup. I think it's a nice little detail he catsed Starowieyski as David, a real painter acting as another real painter, it adds a layer of reality onto the movie, and presumably makes for a more natural acting in the few scenes he was in his studio (I also think they look alike).

Speaking of David's studio, I once stumbled upon a lecture which drew parallels between some scenes in the movie and some paitings, which was mostly focused on character and costume design, and truth be told didn't contribute much to the overall watching experience of Danton. However, I must admit the lecturer had a very good eye in this one particular case, in which he pointed out that this quick shot in David's studio pretty obviously invokes the Fussli's The Artist's Despair Before The Grandeur Of Ancient Ruins. I don't think it's a coincidence (or at the very least, would be funny if it were) this shot is shown during the scene where Robespierre starts to grasp at desperate measures to save the country/save his own face in the trial. It is an artist's despair, only artist of a different kind. And it is a despair when being faced with a (possible) ruin of something great, even if its greatness is not yet formed, as opposed to the greatness passed.

The very last example I was able to think of was this photo I found of The Danton Case from 1975. It is one of those old, very classical (I presume) adaptations, which are mostly filled to the brim with riddiculosly attractive people and very often deliberately drew from other sources of artistry, like the one pictured above. No matter what the real relationship between Louise Danton and her husband was, in the play it is portrayed as something atrocious, and I cringe whenever directors try to make it something else without good reasons for doing so, so I am very glad in the past at least they stuck with classicaly depicted acts of violation against women, not because it is a violation, but because in the classical stories (like the myth of Persephone shown in the sculpture above) the woman will usually get her revenge. Just like Przybyszewska's Louison did.

Thank you for bearing with me until the end, and if you have any other examples of this come to your mind, I compel you to share them with me!

List of pieces of art in the order of their appearance:

Jacques-Louis David, The Death of Marat

Franciszek Starowieyski, Dziady

Jacques-Louis David, Self-portrait

Heinrich Fussli, The Artist's Despair Before The Grandeur Of Ancient Ruins

Gianlorenzo Bernini, The Rape Of Persephone

[demoisverysexy]

Ok fine. Religion AND politics. >:)

Given the fact that reproductive rights are under threat in the US right now, and that I’m trying to make a difference in my home state (you know the one), how do you tend to approach those issues, and how do you tend to make peace between the tenets of Mormonism (which in my limited outsider experience with them seem to be anti-contraception and take a dim view of bodily autonomy when it comes to reproduction) and your leftist beliefs, which I assume also encompass reproductive policy? What’s the best way to reach people of faith on this, especially Mormons, while still having a respectful conversation?

Hmm. I can start by talking to my own experience, then speak to how I would try to convince a Mormon about abortion.

I have pretty much been pro-choice ever since I was a kid, and have grown increasingly pro-choice with time. I grew up in New England, which is fairly progressive, and had liberal parents. And abortion wasnt something that came up in church too much, and if it was, my attention span was such that I didnt catch it. This meant that it wasnt until I was a teenager and older that I began learning more about the church's broader anti-abortion stance. For me, part of the reason there was no conflict between these things was because I was never exposed to it until I was a teenager. So too with LGBTQ stuff and the rest.

For me, the reason I am ok with abortion specifically within a Mormon context (tho usually I dont think about it in these terms), is that even if a fetus is a human with a soul (which I highly doubt), I believe in freedom and autonomy. Freedom is one of the core virtues of Mormonism, especially freedom to do with their bodies as they will. While there are things that you shouldnt do with your body in a Mormon understanding, if you try to limit their ability to use their body so they cannot do those things (for example, forcing someone to follow the Word of Wisdom), you are more in the wrong than the person who's freedoms you are limiting.

Now, a devout orthodox Mormon might respond that yes, but if you kill a child, that limits the childs ability to have agency and freedom. To which I would respond with a hypothetical:

Imagine that you are on a science expedition to Antarctica. You are driving a snowmobile with one of your colleagues, and you arent paying enough attention, and end up crashing the snowmobile. You escape unscathed, but your passenger is in critical condition, and losing a lot of blood. You rush back to base, whereupon they try to operate as quick as they can. But they had lost a lot of blood, and needs a transfusion. You are the only person who shares the same blood type as them on the base. I would argue that, morally speaking, it is correct for you to donate your blood to help them, especially since this situation was caused by your own negligence.

Now, here is the question.

If you refused to give your blood, would it be morally correct for your colleagues to force you to donate your blood against your will?

Most would argue no, as would I. This would be a breach of your bodily autonomy. Violating your bodily autonomy in this way, even to save someone elses life, is a serious breach of your rights, and I would argue a grievous sin. Forcing you to do what is right eliminates your ability to meaningfully do what is right here.

Now, I would not argue that abortion is morally wrong. But even if it is, it should still be allowed on these grounds, in my humble opinion. The differences between this scenario and the situations that make people consider abortion are not meaningfully different.

Mormons believe that before we came to be on Earth, our spirits were created by God, and we lived with him in the pre-existence. God planned to send us to earth so we could learn and grow and make mistakes and repent. As part of that plan, he wanted someone to act in the role of Messiah, to suffer the sins and pain of the world to help people draw closer to God and repent by understanding them.

Two spirits offered to act as Messiah. One proposed a plan where nobody would sin and turn away from God. He proposed a world where nobody would be capable of sin, and thus no-one would be lost. The other spirit wished to go with Gods plan to give people the freedom to choose God or to sin, and to act as Messiah to help them up when they stumble and fall. The first spirit was Lucifer, and the second was Christ. God chose Christ to act as Messiah, and Lucifer in a jealous rage, decided to defy God and to ensare people to commit sin.

I mention this to drive home that, doctrinally, agency and freedom are the central tenets of a Mormon cosmology. Life is meaningful because we have freedom to choose, and to limit peoples bodily autonomy to force them to "make the right choice" is one of the most serious sins. And whether or not abortion is moral or not (it is moral though, of course), to limit peoples ability to do it safely and legally is absolutely immoral.

So that would be how I would try to convince someone. Arguments like the ones I laid out should do the trick, imo.

[imagine-your-love-story]

Thank you for encouraging a safe space on Tumblr. It might seem like basic courtesy to leave people be, leave them their comfort and creative freedom, but apparently it's not. As someone who has very questionable self ship poly dynamics, it's.. nice not being scared of seeing "Don't interact if this- dont interact if that" and then in danger of harrassment.

Please keep spreading these vibes of comfort and love - you're a great person whom we need a lot more of in the world wide web

You're very welcome, lovely! :) :) :)

Hoo boy. I have...soooo many thoughts on like....ALL of this. And this post is gonna get LONG because I've opened the can of worms and I'm lettin' it all out :P

The amount of bullying and negativity I've seen in the selfshipping community lately is very painful and disappointing to watch. Tumblr and fandom has always been somewhat of a cesspool but I had hoped that selfshipping was a little better.

I'm not seeing a positive community on a large scale right now.

There are some people who are shining little stars out there of course! But there's more hate being spread around than I can stomach.

I've spent Y E A R S researching and unlearning and pushing back against the psychological and emotional effects of manipulative behaviors like: blame, guilt, shame, and harassment.

I absolutely 100000% believe you can speak to people civilly and state your reasons why you think their behavior is damaging. Without telling them, "You are wrong. You are a bad person." Or otherwise making them feel shitty about themselves.

And I also believe that you CAN allow that person to say, "I don't agree with what you're saying" and you can still have normal interactions with that person without immediately shunning them and labeling them as a terrible person.

People BLOSSOM when they are showered in love, acceptance, and understanding. People are MUCH more willing to listen and heed what you have to say when you give them SPACE to see your point of view (or disagree with you and still accept them).

This culture on social media where people jump STRAIGHT to, "You're a HORRIBLE person because you do something I disagree with!" is, frankly, horrifying and a little disgusting.

Does this mean I condone negative and damaging behaviors?

No. Absolutely not.

But there seems to be this loss of perspective on what is considered "negative and damaging behaviors".

1. It's fiction. Fiction has NEVER been "clean". It's a place of freedom to discuss EVERYTHING.

2. You don't have to feel comfortable with everything being discussed in fiction. I'm not. If I don't like a self-shipper's content because it hits some trigger buttons for me...I don't follow their blog. Because that's my boundary and I have every right to it.

Do I send them messages saying, "You're a toxic person!"

Nope.

Do I comment on their ship that they love and say, "This makes me uncomfortable!"

Nope.

It's not my business.

Also: it’s fiction and there are MUCH bigger problems that require my energy than whether or not I should correct someone’s fictional ship.

Go save the ocean.

Go save the rainforest.

Go save the planet you live and breath on.

Fiction should not be making you angry enough to send hate mail to someone else. Full stop. That should never ever be a priority.

3. Some people engage in selfshipping "negative behaviors" as a way to cope with their trauma. We have no idea what a person has been through and we have no right to tell them that they should stop what they're doing when we do not know where they are on their journey of healing.

It hurts my heart so, so much when I receive messages from selfshippers like you, dear anon, who are TERRIFIED to share their love stories with their characters because they're afraid of being labeled/attacked/harassed by the community.

That's the community letting you down. That should NOT be happening and I'm so sorry you're feeling that way, lovely.

The ENTIRE point of selfshipping was to ESCAPE the people who criticized for shipping yourself with a character that you love. The foundation of selfshipping is that ANYTHING is possible!!! You are limitless!!!

And now people are policing what you can do??? That's...that completely obliterates the point of selfshipping. That's WHY we escaped to our own community!

I don't know if this video is available outside of the U.S., but I highly recommend, the Crappy Childhood Fairy's Youtube video on Cancel Culture. It's a great listen when you're navigating the emotional turmoil of social media culture.

So, if you're still reading after ALL OF THAT :P here are some key points about this blog and my philosophy when it comes to selfshipping:

This blog will always be a judgment free zone

Of course I have opinions! Of course we may disagree on something! But I won't judge you for it. You're allowed to do your own thang! ;)

I will never have a DNI.

If I feel an interaction is crossing into territory that isn't appropriate or acceptable, I'll say so. And if that doesn't work, I'll block and report. But I will never have a DNI on this blog.

Yes, I am an adult. So if minors don't feel comfortable following my blog, it's okay if they don't! I understand!

But I don't have a problem talking with minors because they are human beings and they may need support. I worked in Youth Services at a library for over two years. I know sometimes kids just want someone to talk about cool books and movies with and I'm 100% down for that 24/7 :)

Because this blog is all-ages friendly, I will never post 18+ content because - just like IRL - I make sure that I am mindful of the people around me. I may post some suggestive content that is tagged, but I try not to get too explicit.

I also don’t really think a DNI is necessary for me personally. Of course if I feel threatened by someone, I won’t interact with that person. But if a shipper is into content that I don’t like???? I don’t feel the need to say, “I will never interact with you!” That’s....exhausting. Besides, there are plenty of other things we can chat about! :)

I will always share f/os.

I know some people don't like to share and that's their boundary they can draw if they want to (no shade here!), but I've found that if I don't share, it's a very lonely experience. So I always share and I’m happy to interact if we have the same f/o :)

DMs are always open if you need a shoulder to lean on

If you need to dump or vent or whatever, my DMs will always be open so you can chat! It can feel weird, and maybe you'll feel bad because you won't know what to say!!!

That's okay :)

Even if all you want to do is vent and never reply, I'm happy to listen and offer any words of encouragement and support you need to hear! :)