#THIS MATH IS NOT ACTUALLY DIFFICULT WHY DO WE TAKE HIM AT HIS WORD ABOUT THIS AUUURGH

[amorremanet]

jiang cheng couldn’t have handled losing his golden core yes unlike wei wuxian who infamously handled it so freaking well 

[motleyfam]

Smudge

“I received another call from the boy’s school today.”

Bruce sighs heavily. “Is he still not eating?”

“According to his teacher, at lunch today Master Richard consumed six potato chips, discarded his sandwich and carrot sticks entirely, spent a few minutes attempting to balance the orange on the end of his nose, and then traded his cheese stick for a classmate’s novelty eraser—which I am told is shaped like a crocodile.”

It’s an alligator, actually. Dick can tell from the flatness of the creature’s snout. He’s holding it right now, flipping the little rubber animal over and over between his fingers as he sits perched on the very top of the bookcase in the hall outside Bruce’s study.

His new guardian lets out a low, bitter laugh. “Well, that’s three more chips than he had yesterday.”

Alfred’s tone is stern. “Master Bruce, need I remind you that the social worker will be paying us a visit this weekend?”

“And what exactly do you suggest I do, Alf? Tie the kid to a chair and force him to eat?”

“Certainly not,” Alfred says coolly. “But perhaps a little more involvement on your part might encourage your young charge to actually consume a full meal.”

Dick sets the alligator on his thumbnail and flips it into the air like a coin. It lands on his open palm, bottom-side up. He flips it again.

There’s more conversation in the study, but Dick lets the words wash over him, flipping the gator over and over between his fingers. He’s not trying to be difficult—really—it’s just that ever since that night at the circus, nothing tastes quite the same.

It’s fine though; he’s not that hungry anyway.

“Dick.”

The nine-year-old startles, suddenly aware that Bruce is standing below him. “What are you doing up there, chum.”

“Sitting,” Dick says simply. “Wanna see what I got?” He holds up the eraser.

“How about you come down and show me at the dinner table?” Bruce suggests. “Alfred made meatloaf.”

Dick makes a face. “I’d rather stay up here.”

“Why’s that?”

He shrugs. “I like being up high.”

“Hn.” Bruce hesitates a moment, mulling this one over. Then he places his hands behind him on the file cabinet and hoists himself up to sit cross-legged on top. “Let’s see the crocodile.”

“It’s an alligator,” Dick corrects, passing it to him.

“No, it’s an eraser,” Bruce says, turning it over in his fingers to examine each side. He rubs at the dark smudge where Dick tried to use it to erase a smiley face he’d doodled on his math sheet earlier. It hadn’t worked very well.

Dick rolls his eyes. “You sound like my dad.”

“Hn,” is all Bruce says.

Neither of them say anything for a while.

“...You like McDonalds?” Bruce finally asks.

Dick shrugs. “It’s alright.”

Bruce hums. He pushes off from the file cabinet, hopping down and reaching back up to take Dick’s hand.

“C’mon,” he says. “We can have Alfred’s meatloaf tomorrow.”

[bgomtori]

☆ autumn - c.sb

synopsis -> the transition of summer to make him fall.

-> soobin x reader

-> childhood friends to lovers, fake dating, mutual pinning, sunshine and sunshine protector relationship, slowburn.

-> warnings! yn's slightly dense, super long

-> notes! heavily inspired by the webtoon our secret alliance, please read it 😢 it's so cute and jaeha reminds me of soobin a lot.

"an alliance?" soobin peeked over his phone, looking at you like you grew two heads. you nodded your head, falling onto the bed, right below soobin's feet.

"think about it, if we lie to our parents that we are dating, they wouldn't suspect a thing when we go out! they'll think that we'll be going on a date or something, but we're actually sneaking out to do our own things." you explained as if you were a genius solving a difficult maths question. soobin placed his phone down to look at you, his head hovering over yours.

"this better work, if not i'm telling your parents about the vase you broke the other day." you gasped at his audacity to even bring that up, you stuck out your pinky finger, "i promise that this is a good idea." soobin eyed you suspiciously before locking his pinky with yours.

"i trust you." you beamed at his words, for the first time in a while soobin finally agreed to one of your plans, and did not call you stupid for it.

from then on, the both of you have been heading out for your so called "study dates" to prove to your parents that even though you're "dating", your studies are still your top priority. however, as soon as you step out of your house, ensuring that the door is sealed shut, you and soobin part ways almost instantly, sending him a reminder on the agreed timing to meet up and head home for dinner.

it also helped that practically everyone, even the teachers, thought that both of you were dating, the way soobin would walk to class with you or the way you would cheerfully run up to him, telling him everything that has happened to you throughout the day.

to you, this alliance was fun, you enjoyed spending time with soobin, now that mid terms were around the corner, the two of you have been studying together more than usual, unlike the past where he would go gaming with his friends and you would go out on dates with people you met online. you loved your time with soobin, more than you expected.

on the other hand, soobin didn't like the mushy feeling he'd always feel when you come around, he hated the way his heart would race when you wrap your arm around his.

"i think i'm sick." soobin mumbled, his face slightly flushed, his heart banging against his ribcage as he recalled the way you waved your mock test at him with a bright smile, telling him that you've finally passed the subject you've been constantly failing, later rambling about how this year is going to be your year.

"more like lovesick.." beomgyu gagged, rolling his eyes, "why did you even agree to the alliance." he added, taking a sip from his milk carton. soobin shrugged, turning his head to the side, watching you smiling with your friends as you take bites from your lunch.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

a few weeks has passed, soobin had finally realised his growing feelings for you, after multiple scoldings from beomgyu, he finally got it through his thick skull that he does indeed like you.

"i'm home! come on, let's go to my room, i really need help with my math homework." you took soobin's wrist, about to pull him into your room until your mum stopped you two.

"welcome back, wait here for a while, i have some treats for you." your mum smiled, scurrying off to the kitchen to grab some pasteries she bought from the newly opened bakery from down the street. soobin shyly thanked your mum, taking a bite out of the brownie placed infront of him, while you basically devour the cookies.

"you know.. recently my friend's daughter lied about her report card, saying that she was scared that she wouldn't see her as a golden child anymore," your mum sighed, looking down at her hands, you looked at her, taking another bite of your cookie, "you two aren't hiding any secrets from me, are you?"

you swallowed the cookie, the feeling of guilt crashes onto you, taking frantic glances at soobin who looked calm and collected, unlike you who was panicking. "no." you uttered out softly, taking a sip of cola. your mum smiled at you, leaving you and soobin alone for now.

"we're screwed aren't we?" soobin snickered, biting on the soft, chewy brownie on the plate.

"we are, i feel extremely bad. should we stop?" you asked him, using your straw to stir the contents of your drink aimlessly.

"if you want to, i'm fine with it." he replied non-chalantly. your hand came to a halt, staring at the twirling ice cubes in your drink.

"or should we start dating for real?" soobin was now stunned, turning to face you, eyes widened, his ears coloured in a red hue.

"what'd you say?"

"i mean it's better this way isn't it? we don't have to lie to our parents anymore!" you exclaimed, completely unaware of the fidgety boy beside you, biting the inside of his cheek.

"that's the reason?" his tone sounded angry and serious, something you weren't used to, you looked at soobin who had his head down, "huh wait, i didn't mean to make you angry soob.."

"please don't make jokes like that." soobin stood up, swinging his bag over one of his shoulders, about to make a move, your first instinct was to grab his wrist, preventing him from leaving you alone.

"wait thats not what i was trying to do, i thought it wouldnt be that much of a differece with us being friends." you explained yourself, speak of the devil your mum decided to walk in, your eyes flickered from your mum to soobin, he mumbled something inaudible for you to hear, "what did you say?"

soobin let out a sigh, bending down to your ear, "i said i'll think about it over the weekend, you should do the same.. about us dating." he whispered, you could feel his lips brushing against your skin, you face slowly heating up at the realisation of how close you were. your eyes followed his every action, from thanking your mum, to leaving the house through the main door. you brain was about to malfunction, causing you to bang your head against the table, clearly flustered from everything that has just occurred.

"jeez what's your problem." your mum jumped at the sudden thud, pushing you a plate of home-cooked food for you to enjoy.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

a few days has passed, despite talking to soobin like you always do, you can't help but feel like there's an invisible barrier between the both of you. he seemed out of it, replying you with single word replies, or even just humming a response. you were used to it, but you can't help but think that he was uncomfortable around your presence.

you sat at your desk, resting your head on the table, surrounded by two of your close friends, tuning out their voices while they ramble about something that didn't concern you.

"honestly, if it seems natural for you to hold hands with a guy friend, or even imagining yourself kissing him, you definitely have slight feelings for him." that statement piqued your interest, lifting your head, only to make eye contact with choi soobin, sending your mind into a spiral. you do interlock arms with him, but does that even count as holding hands? your eyes dart down to his lips, your face warmed up at the thought of his lips touching yours, making your groan in frustration.

"what's up with you." your friend questioned, concerned for your sudden outburst. you shook your head, looking back down at your phone.

soob : meet me after school, in the storage room.

yn : what for?

soob : just come find me.

you couldn't ignore the warmth pooling in your chest when you read that message, for the first time in your life, you were afraid to meet soobin.

the school day went by too fast for your liking, you packed up your things, you made your way to the storage room, only to be stopped by a friend of yours from another class.

"yn! are you going home right now? let's go to the convenience store nearby, i missed you." she exclaimed, hope shimmering in her eyes as she waited for your response. you smiled at her apologetically, about to tell her that you weren't available,

"she's not free right now julie, let's go." a familiar voice replied in your stead, his warm hands wrapped around your wrist, dragging you towards the place you were supposed to meet in. julie looked back at the both of you in confusion, "they're weird." she whispered to herself.

soobin closed the door behind him, locking it in the process. you felt uncomfortable, the atmosphere created was awkward and tense, soobin looked down at you, waiting for you to at least say something.

"uhm, did you think about it? about us dating." you asked, your eyes glued to the ground below you.

"yea." you stared at him with wide eyes, you didn't expect him to actually agree with you that fast.

"you didn't think about it right?" you pursed your lips, unable to make eye contact with the much taller male standing infront of you, soobin sighed, "i can't go out with you."

your heart dropped upon hearing those words, "wait no, i just need more time to think about it." you were rambling, your grip around his arm loosening, realising that you couldn't stop anything.

"sorry yn." he apologised, leaving you in the empty storage room, alone with your thoughts. you groaned in frustration, swinging the door open, accidentally scaring people that were walking past, you just wanted to go home, lay in your bed, and drown yourself in homework, distract yourself from dwelling over soobin. you stood at the entrance, realising that it had started to rain, you rummaged through your bag, in search for an umbrella.

"did i forget.." you whispered to yourself, placing your bag onto the ground to thoroughly check your bag, slowly you gave up, zipping up your bag. you leaned against a pillar, watching the rain hit the ground below. you stared up into the dark, gloomy sky, remembering what had just went down earlier. honestly, you weren't serious when you asked soobin that question, you didn't expect him to say yes right away too. however, you were upset that he rejected you so firmly. you knew that soobin was never that firm with you, the soobin you knew was kinder than that. so maybe, he's under the pouring rain right now and worrying about you, maybe he'll come pick you up, because he has always helped you in situations like these.

"yn!" a voice you knew all too well called out to you, you looked up to see a panting soobin, an umbrella over his head, sheltering himself from the heavy rain.

"how many times must i tell you to pack an umbrella." he reprimanded you, eyebrows furrowed as he looked down at you, a concerned look spread across his face.

"you really came." you smiled to yourself, "it's cause it's raining." soobin replied, pulling you to walk in the rain with me.

"you should call your mum, your place is far from here, and it's raining really hard." he suggested, you nodded your head, grabbing your phone from your pocket, dialling your mum's phone number. soobin remained quiet then entire walk back to his place, his arm wrapped around your shoulder, preventing you from getting wet, matching the pace your walked at. maybe he does treat you differently.

"i'm a soobin's place right now, i'll wait for the rain to slow down before i go back home." you informed your mum.

"that's fine! just tell me when you reach home." your mum answered, "yea what did you say?" your mum's voice added, oh your mum forgot to hang up.

"aren't you worried that she's alone with a guy now?" her colleague asked, sounding worried for your safety. you continued to listen in on their conversation, curious on what your mum has to say about your relationship with soobin.

"those two aren't like that! i just tease them sometimes, but i know better than anyone that they're matured kids and wouldn't fool around." your mum defended you, your eyes flickered to soobin who was unlocking the door to his house, right, it was just the two of you in the house now. you quickly ended the call, removing your shoes.

"you can go into my room, i'll get you something to snack on." you muttered a soft okay, taking swift steps into his room, you sat on the cold wooden floor, grabbing your folder from your bag, starting on your revision for an upcoming quiz.

"soobin, i need help with this." you tapped your pen against the question you were stuck on, he closed the door, setting the plate of jellies down on the table, sitting next to you, reading the question. it was quiet, too quiet, you could hear your own breathing, it felt weird, your mind went back to the conversation your mum had with her colleague.

"soobin, wanna know what my mum said earlier?" you flashed a mischievious grin at him, soobin placed his pencil down, "what did she say?"

"she said even if you and i are alone, nothing will happen!" you laughed, "she thinks we're dating. i wonder how could she say that.. that's how much of a gentleman my mum thinks you are! haha. by the way can i borrow some of your clothes?" you joked further. soobin looked at you unamused, agreeing to your last question, going into his closet to grab some of his clothes.

"what's with that face? i only said that for the laughs. what she said wasn't wrong." you pouted, taking his clothes from him, "you said that you had no intention of dating me anyways."

"you didn't even think about dating me." soobin responded, poking your cheek with his finger.

"i'm done with the question, you should try analysing the question first before jumping into it." you hated this, he still helps you with school, and is always so concerned about you, yet why did he reject you? soobin patted your shoulder, asking you to complete the paper.

"why.. don't you wanna go out with me?" your sudden question left soobin stunned.

"that's random.."

"you're fine with everything but you're not fine with that?.." you suddenly remembered the statement your friend had said earlier in the day, "it's not as if i asked if you could kiss me."

"what?" soobin's cheeks flushed, his thoughts going wild, "see you're playing a prank on me again." you grabbed onto his arm, feeling his stiffen under your grip.

"why aren't you answering me?" you were desperate for an answer, you needed an answer, to understand why he does all he does for you, but still decide to close your out and reject you.

"don't tell me you could see yourself kissing me." you looked at soobin in his eyes, he frowned, a nervous bead of sweat trickling down his face, you were too close to him, he felt like he was going to explode.

"why are you doing this to me?"

"you can't?"

"that's enough now." he turned away, only to feel your lips against his cheek.

"i guess, i can haha.." you joked, covering your mouth, averting your eyes from him, "i guess i'm ok with kissing you." soobin was at a daze, his eyes looking at your lips now, lips slightly apart, whatever you said earlier was completely ignored by him.

"oh, just now that was..??" he lundged forward, capturing your lips, your eyes widened at the sudden contact, unable to process what was going on. soobin pulled away slowly, his eyes meeting yours, both of you were flustered, red colouring the tip of soobin's ears.

"sorry.." he apologised.

"i.. i should go now." you mumbled, immediately packing your things, scrambling out of his room, you texted your mum, telling her that you were going home, you took one last look at soobin.

he's totally red. you thought to yourself, covering your own lips, you couldn't believe that it happened in a span of an hour. you ran home under the rain, you didn't care if you were drenched or not, you wanted to escape from his place as soon as possible. that night, you tossed and turned in bed, unable to get any rest.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

"are you ok?" chaewon asked, of course you weren't, soobin was infront of you, you couldn't let him see you. you swung your bag infront of you, placing the notebook chaewon passed you in it.

"thanks, you returned it sooner than i expected." you smiled, carrying your bag around your shoulder again.

" i got someone to explain it to me instead, cause i didn't understand most of them." she explained, at this point, you were about to walk beside soobin and his friends.

"woah! really? i guess it's a friend who is really good at maths. come on let's go in." you pushed chaewon, practically making her walk faster.

"you're avoiding him aren't you?" chaewon turned back to look at you. you nodded your head, "i'll tell you in class, just go." you begged, she shrugged her shoulders, excited for the long story you were going to rant about as soon as you were not in the vicinity of choi soobin.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

"here are the worksheets you asked for mrs lee." you went to find her in the staff room after classes

"thank you for bringing it here, here eat these." she smiled, taking two packets of biscuits for you. much to your dismay, you heard the door behind you slide open, "oh soobin! come here i'll give you some biscuits too." mrs lee dug through her desk in search for extra biscuits.

"i ran out, yn, share one of these with soobin." your teacher sighed, your voice was soft, almost inaudible, "yes.." your hand reached out to soobin's placing the pack of biscuits in his hand, your fingers grazing against his.

"aren't you two close? i thought you were but you look so awkward with each other right now!" a teacher from behind exclaimed, her statement made you flinch.

"of course they're close, yn nearly fell off the ladder while cleaning the window, do you know how much soobin lectured mr because of that? ever since then i've never asked students to wipe windows that are up high. i thought soobin had feelings for yn." mrs lee giggled, recalling the incident where you almost lost your footing on the steps, trying to remove the speck of dirt on the window.

"oh my goodness, if you say that the kids are gonna feel more awkward." the teacher joked. you turned to your side, noticing the way soobin's ear was coloured in a soft hue of red. if he's slightly embarrased, then you aren't the only one that's feeling self conscious, right?

"i'm just teasing them because they're such good kids! yn and soobin are so proper and well-behaved. they've never caused any trouble too." proper. well-behaved. your head turned to soobin, making eye contact with him.

"i should go clean up before it's too late." soobin made up an excuse, trying to get himself out of the tense atmosphere, as you were about to follow behind soobin, you teacher asked, "i'm asking this out of curiousity, so.. are you two actually dating?"

"huh? it's nothing like that." your words were blunt, immediately turning on your heel to chase after soobin, knowing exactly where he would go to in situations like these. you knocked against the storage room door.

"you're in there right?" your voice was soft and sweet, soobin felt like he would melt right now, the apples of his cheek turning red, "why are you avoiding me too?"

"you were the one who kissed me." you whispered, loud enough for his to hear, soobin rubbed his lips with the back of his hand, unable to shake off the feeling of your lips against his, the taste of your cherry lip balm on the tip of his tongue.

"you know, i'm fine with it right?" that was when the door flung open, revealing soobin looking distraught.

"don't talk about that here." his tone was sheepish, the grip around your wrist tightened, watching you smile at him.

"haha! you were pretending to be fine, but you're actually flustered." you teased, soobin frowned at you, knowing what you'd say next, "i know i kissed you first, but you were the one who kissed me on the mouth–"

"not here." he whispered, his hand cupped around your mouth, preventing you from saying anything more. you removed his hand, looking at him sincerely.

"no one is here to clean yet, you know we have to talk." you uttered, your eyes never leaving his, hope glimmering in your eyes, wanting to have a conversation with him about last night.

"ok, but first, come here." before you knew it, you were dragged into the storage room with soobin again, his hand holding onto yours so carefully like you were glass, while his free hand was placed on your waist, preventing you from failing over. you regained your balance, eyeing down the now unfazed soobin. wasn't he flustered just seconds ago?

you sat on top of a barrel that was somehow in the storage room, pulling soobin along with you, he bent down slightly to ensure that he was eye to eye with you, his hands pinned beside your thighs. his eyes burned into yours, his body language asking you to tell him something.

"in the past, i liked that i felt comfortable around you." you gulped, "but now i'm becoming weird because of you." you brought a finger up to his forehead, poking it.

"i guess i forgot how i used to treat you because we've been pretending to date each other for a while, or maybe it's because you're so nice to me." oh, he was red again, he was wrapped around your finger, you knew his feelings for you, he was too obvious. your heart fluttered, you could smell the scent of his shampoo, and the scent of rain from the leaves that hasn't dried up yet, making you recall the kiss once more.

"this is your fault." you glared, the palm of your hand flushed against his chest.

"what do you mean?" he questioned, squinting his eyes at you. just say you like me you wanted to hear him say it, you wanted to hear him admit it.

"why'd you kiss me yesterday?" you inched your face closer to his, the strong, yet simple scent of his cologne filled your nostrils, his hot breath fanned against your lips, his black rimmed glasses sitting on the top of his nose making him more attractive than usual.

"i.. don't know." those were the words that came out of soobin's lips, as much as you anticipated it, he wasn't someone who would just admit his feelings, you felt disappointed. you two stared at each other in silence, you bit the inside of your cheek.

"soobin, i think we should stop lying to each other, i'll go on and tell you the truth, i lied about the reason why we should date each other. i know i said that if we dated for real, we wouldn't have to lie to my mum, but i realised that i can't control how i feel about someone." you paused, taking in the look soobin was giving you, you smiled to yourself, "i really don't know when i started to feel this way, but before i knew it, i had feelings for you."

your arms wrapped around soobin's neck, playing with the back of his hair, the tip of his ears turning red by the second, "i like you soobin."

"you like me too right? it's your turn to tell me the truth." again, your teasing grin slowly grew on your lips, soobin scowled at you, leaning closer to your lips, leaving a chaste kiss against them, "yeah, i like you too." your grin grew larger when you finally heard those words come out of his mouth

"when did you start having feelings for me." your hands pressed against his cheeks, soobin dropped into the crook of your neck, "i don't know, a long time now.."

you giggled at his response, patting his head, "that's nice to hear."

now that summer fades into autumn, the relationship between you and soobin blooming like the changing leaves, as he stares at you with overflowing love, he's reminded of the time when he fell for you. during autumn, where the season changes from summer to making him fall deeply for you, and history repeats itself, this time with sweet kisses and warm hugs.

perm taglist! (send an ask to be added :D) @mrsyawnzzn @tinyelfperson @woncheecks @boba-beom @naveries @be-argyu @defnotleee @babymochibeargyu

[utilitycaster]

Ok I'm probably going to regret reinventing 17th century European religious philosophy here but:

Ludinus's issue with the gods as stated to Imogen and Fearne (and I will state right now that we know he was lying or deliberately misleading at points in that conversation so I don't exactly take him at his word, but let's assume he does mean this) is that they did not prevent the Calamity. I have the following questions.

Does he have any loyalty/feelings about the Titans given that they would have killed all the people in the era of the Schism, ie, the gods averted that Calamity? My guess is no, which means that whole avenue of discussing the Titans was something of a dead end.

How should Calamity have been averted? The Prime Deities during the Age of Arcanum largely let people do what they wanted, which is what led to one of those mortals releasing the Betrayer Gods. Should the gods have struck down Vespin Chloras before he actually did anything, Minority Report style? Can the gods even predict based on the actions of a single individual or small group, because my guess is they can't, particularly since within the current stream of gameplay they absolutely cannot [ie, the reason the Changebringer can't tell FCG to stay or run is because Matt Mercer is the Changebringer and he doesn't know how people will roll; you do need to consider the medium here]. But if they could: so you think they should strike down mortals on the basis of thoughtcrimes? Or control them? In that case, why is Aeor a problem? There's a lot you can argue is justified once you permit the gods to override free will and kill people over mere potential for catastrophe.

On that note, Laerryn both was an unwitting architect of the Calamity (shorted on energy and then killed the Tree of Names, which served as a core planar defense system) but also averted the worst of it. Did the lives she saved by preventing the rise of Rau'shan and Ka'Mort outweigh the lives she took by destroying the Tree of Names? How should the gods have reacted?

Should, perhaps, the gods have all sealed themselves away earlier - perhaps post-Schism? If so, then the issue isn't the Divine Gate, now is it? Should the gods intervene or not intervene? Should they remove themselves or no? It feels like the issue isn't that they distanced themselves so that they can do less in the world, particularly if you wish to kill them, but that you really want to fucking kill them and they made that somewhat more difficult.

How do we know the gods (for example) didn't save Laudna? She was hanged and she's still alive; Morri would probably count this as saving her and I don't see the same desire to wipe out all Archfey. [real talk I find most discussion of Laudna specifically to be...incomprehensibly ignorant in its refusal to acknowledge that everything about it is player agency related, whether it's the story that the cast played out for Vox Machina or the decisions Marisha specifically made in creating the character, ie, do you think Matt should have said "well you can't play a Hollow One because that would mean the gods didn't save you" not to mention the fact that again, we are playing this within a game system where the existence Deus Ex Machina would in fact fucking suck ass; but even setting aside those reasons why this argument is stupid, it's still stupid. It's like a layer cake of stupid.] Again: do you want more intervention or less? Killing them guarantees less.

I'm assuming the problem with the Calamity is the vast loss of life, in which case, what's the math on how many people have been killed by the Vanguard or Imperium in the pursuit of unleashing Predathos? How many more will die?

If the release of Predathos doesn't result in the immediate demise of all the gods, and the Divine Gate is down, why isn't this a recipe for Calamity 2? What was the motivation for killing the gods again?

Should we kill mortal diviners who do not do all within their power to stop terrible things that may come to pass? If the issue is that some people have power without working for it, why haven't we killed all the sorcerers?

Should we be listening to a single word from someone who consumes random fey to live longer, and that's just the start of the CVS receipt of atrocities?

Is there a point where one's deeply held beliefs due to one's own personal trauma become invalidated due to one's actions as a result of that trauma? If so, why is the limit for Orym "is okay with killing people who are trying, directly, to kill you (which, frankly, isn't even a trauma response, that's just called not wanting to die, which I highly recommend as a personal philosophy), and gets upset when people defend those knowingly collaborating with his family's murderers" and the limit for Vanguard generals "family abandonment/just. buckets of murder of innocents./child soldier recruitment in multiple different contexts/eating fey as biohacking/destroying an entire city and the surrounding forest for hundreds of years (ongoing)/imperialism in multiple different contexts/I was going to make a gallows humor joke about how while neither exist in-world they've violated the Geneva Convention AND the IRB for testing on human subjects multiple times over but actually those both are in fact written in a lot of the same blood/probably some others that I'm forgetting"

[lovinglylibelle]

—naming the divine dog

-navigation || masterlist || montage of memories-

fushiguro megumi x reader || fluff

description: you really don't like the name Totality, so you change it. the lower case is deliberate.

requests: OPEN

"how about... Onyx?" you asked, looking at the clueless pup sitting next to you. he was probably wondering what the hell you were on about as he looked at you curiously through his black beady eyes.

adorable little baby.

"no... that sounds like an angsty wattpad character " you muttered to yourself, shaking your head.

"while you are a cutie patootie, right?" you scratched behind his ear, cute aggression taking over you for a minute.

currently you were trying to find good names for your divine dog, names that were better than 'totality'. you did not want to call him that. it was just so un-emotional in your opinion.

you turned to your phone, scrolling again in hopes of finding a name as perfect as your little furball, or at least close enough.

"Zephyr??" but what does that even mean you thought, looking at the dog again to see whether the name fit. it didn't.

"come on pinterest, give me something!" you sighed frustratedly, tapping harder on the screen as you surfed through the app. the suggestions were so... common.

you heard the soft creak of the door opening, but didn’t look up until Megumi’s familiar voice broke your concentration. "and why are you cursing at pinterest?"

"Gumi! hi!" you greeted, smiling at the sight of your boyfriend.

"i am just trying to find cute names for totality." you said, continuing the task at hand as the pup in question walked over to Megumi, wagging his tail excitedly.

"why? he already has a name" he ruffled totality's head, smiling softly.

you really liked witnessing moments like these, where Megumi loved without hiding it. the beautiful smile on his face being far greater than anything the world had to offer.

"yeah i know but totality isn't exactly a loving name... it sounds so... boring?" you said, voicing out your opinion. Totality sounded like a boring twilight fanfiction title.

"boring?"

"yeah like, i dont know, a maths term?" that was another thing it sounded like, reminding you of addition, subtraction and, whatever. you never really liked maths.

"a maths term?" Megumi repeated as a chuckle escaped him. only you could come up with something like that.

"really!! you have to agree, it really does." you said, laughing at your own comparison too.

"anyway, i am looking for an endearing name for our beloved totality but... i can't find any." you groaned, throwing your head back against the pillow. why was naming so difficult, did your mother have this much trouble too?

Megumi hummed softly, sitting next to you on the bed and glancing at your phone. "need help?"

you nodded, shifting a bit to accomodate him and showing him the names you had saved randomly

"Skoll, Salem, Azrael, Damiano..." he read out loud, making you cringe at the sound of them. you did not like them at all.

"Ash, Oreo... Oreo hmm— it would have been good if it wasn't for the genocide they are funding— Caviar..." he said as you nodded alongside him, still not liking any of them.

"Hmm," he murmured, scrolling through the list. "not quite right, huh?"

"i know, why is this so hard." you groaned again, feeling hopeless and disappointed. why was life so challenging?

Megumi sighed at your dramaticness, pulling his own phone out to aid you in your mission. the things he does for you.

"i really like Cookie... what do you think?" he suggested, eyeing you inquisitively.

"that's actually pretty adorable... we can definitely use that as a pet name for him!" it sounded cute but did not fit for a name. pet name however, it fit.

"so... not the name?"

"nah, i know we can do better."

he hummed, scrolling again as you decided to brainstorm original names instead.

a minute passed with you digging through your brain to find any cool name or word that might fit but to no avail.

"oh by the way, i got tickets to the volleyball anime movie you wanted to watch." Megumi said, stopping you before you got too lost.

"you mean Haikyuu battle of the dumpster?" you asked him, it was a movie about one of your favourite anime arcs and you really wanted to watch it.

he nodded, "this one is Karasuno versus Nekoma right? i remember you and Itadori almost eating your own hands while reading it in the manga."

it was true, you almost ate your own fist out of anxiousness as to what would happen in that match. it was nerve wrecking. and Itadori's assumptions and predictions didn't make it any easier.

but you also remember admiring the sketches of Kageyama, Nishinoya, Kenma and Kuroo... Kuroo Tetsuro, what a man he wa—

"oh my god!" you yelled out, the answer to all of your problems suddenly visible. eureka!

"what?" Megumi asked, a bit concerned at your sudden enthusiasm... you were literally moping five seconds ago.

"i found it! i found the most perfect name ever, Megumi you are a genius!!" you stood up, smiling ear to ear looking at the highly confused sea urchin.

"well, what is it?" he asked. he found it quite adorable how you were suddenly so happy by something so little. and while he didn't know what he did, he was proud of himself.

"okay, are you ready?" you said, addresing both totality, who was just as invested as you, and Megumi.

he nodded, focusing his attention entirely on you and feeling himself admire your excitement, he really really liked you.

"one... two... three... it is..." you said, building anticipation.

Totality, soon to be named something else, was wagging his tail furiously. his tongue lolled out as he bounced on his paws, playfully nudging your leg. his excitement was contagious, his soft barks punctuating the air.

you bent down to pat his head, loving how the name you decided is fitting.

"my dearest totality, your name is now... Kuroo!" you scratched behind his ear as he let out a soft bark nuzzling his head in your palm.

"Kuroo? like the character Kuroo?" Megumi asked. he wont lie, he wasnt expecting that.

"yepp, it suits him... do you like it?"

and how could he not when you looked so pleased with it, with your eyes sparkling and what not.

Megumi smiled a little and nodded, Kuroo... he liked it too.

you grinned at him before turning back to look at Kuroo and play with him, all the while Megumi watched you with hearts in his eyes and warmth in his heart.

you were truly something else and he adored you for it.

a/n: i really really dislike how the divine dogs' merged form is called 'Totality' like??? please, look at that adorable pup HOW CAN ANYBODY LOOK AT HIM AND THINK OF THAT. And i have sorta assumed the pronouns to be he/him to make it easier for me lol. This was a brain rot moment for me and i just had fun with it. It's not too serious of a fic, so enjoy it!! If you like it, please click the heart and reblog IT WOULD MEAN A LOTTT. thank youuu. And yes i made those references and i am proud of them.

taglist 🏷️: @quirrrky @asunflowerana { send an ask to be added }

[skania]

Aqua, Akane and their relationship during his "Freedom" period

I know a lot of people dismiss Aqua's words to Akane in Chapter 97 because he wasn't shown being all smiles during their time together, but I think those people forget that Aqua has a very complex, very difficult, very painful rapport with happiness.

He has lived his entire life, be it as Goro or as Aqua, feeling guilty. Goro quite literally felt guilty for existing: he couldn't forgive himself for living at the expense of his mother. This guilt is accompanied by a feeling of powerlessness: he beats himself up because he couldn't do more for Sarina, and as Aqua he blames himself because he couldn't save Ai.

He assigns no worth to his own life. He has panic attacks when he lets himself enjoy things. Even something as innocent as Ruby reminding him of Sarina makes him think that he is unforgivable because he doesn't deserve salvation.

After living this way for so long, it's only natural that he still struggles with allowing himself to be happy during his "Freedom" period.

To make matters worse, this newfound freedom was born from Aqua running away from the truth and from all his issues. Ichigo said so himself, there is no way Aqua didn't notice the loophole. Himekawa literally tells him what age he was when his dad died, some simple math would've automatically let Aqua realize that the timeline didn't add-up.

But Aqua didn't want to realize it. He blinded himself to the truth because Himekawa gave him the escape he has been desperately yearning for since (at least) the TB arc.

Since Aqua didn't actually solve any of his issues and traumas, it's to be expected that they keep weighting down on him throughout that year. After all, healing takes time.

We see this weight very clearly in his dynamic with Kana, since his Ai-related trauma is the biggest factor in him completely avoiding her.

We naturally also see it in his dynamic with Akane.

Three examples come to mind:

Akane tells him that she enjoys being with him. We know for a fact that Aqua is reluctant to part ways with Akane, which means he enjoys being with her too. But he isn't used to letting himself enjoy things. So, how does Aqua react?

His guilt flares up and he focuses on how undeserving he is of her, even trying to convince her (and himself) that their relationship is nothing but a lie.

Something very similar happens here:

Akane tells Aqua that she wants to see him, and Aqua looks torn before admitting that he wants to see her too. It'd be easy to interpret his expression as Aqua feeling guilty because he is about to lie to Akane, specially since this page is followed by a page of Kana crying over him. But I believe it's the opposite.

We see him that very chapter asking Akane about her schedule so they can see each other. This alone shows that Aqua does want to see Akane, and the fact that Akane later says that Aqua has been doing his best not to lie to her confirms Aqua is being truthful when he tells her that he wants to see her soon, too.

So, why does he make that sad face?

I believe it's his guilt flaring up again. Knowing him, I bet that thoughts like these ran through his mind:

Does someone like me really deserve to live a normal relationship like this? Would Akane want to see me if she knew that I'm the reincarnation of Goro Amamiya? It it okay for me to want to see Akane even though I know Kana is hurting because I've been avoiding her?

Still, it's important to notice that we can see the positive effect that time has had on Aqua. During that first example, Aqua tried to put up a wall between him and Akane by claiming that their relationship wasn't real; during the second, he hesitates but ultimately admits that he returns the feeling and wants to see her too.

This trend of Aqua becoming more open with time continues in the last example, which comes precisely from Chapter 97:

Akane confirms that she is glad that she is dating him, that he makes her happy, and Aqua looks utterly caught off-guard, as if the thought of being able to make Akane happy was shocking to him.

His most telling reaction happens right after, though:

Aqua's lips tremble. He looks near tears. Why?

Because to him, who felt like he was underserving of salvation, being with Akane has felt remarkably close to it.

I feel that this moment right here contextualizes all the examples I mentioned before: Akane does make him happy and he doesn't know what to do about it half the time, because he isn't sure if he deserves that happiness at all. But Akane makes him feel like he just might.

And the truth is that he doesn't want to give up on it—on her, because to him his relationship with Akane has become synonym to the happiness that has been eluding him all along.

So I personally can't dismiss his words to her during Chapter 97, because to me they are actually meant to reveal the way Aqua has been feeling all along.

[corrodedseraphine]

playlist | #4 it could have been me

pairing: eddie munson x henderson!reader

summary: Just when you thought the boy you were in love with all through high school was gone, he suddenly reappears as your little brother's friend. Fate has once again decided to join your paths, however, everything turns out to be a bit complicated. Will Eddie Munson's sudden return to your life bring with it even more changes?

the story is also avaliable on ao3

masterlist | eddie munson masterlist | general masterlist

songs which I used in this chapter: Elle King - America's Sweetheart and The Struts - Could Have Been Me

The concert part was really fun to write, I hope you will like it!

"Can I come in?" Steve asked tilting the door to Dustin's room slightly. "I can't stand them anymore." Eddie wasn't sure if he was comfortable in the presence of the former king of Hawkins High. From the kids' stories, it looked like his character had changed a hundred and eighty degrees, but he didn't know if he could take their word for it. On the other hand, he may indeed have changed, but not everyone was necessarily affected by this change. Had King Steve really stopped being an asshole? He hoped so. Without a word, he shifted on the bed, and Harrington threw himself into the vacant seat with a loud groan.

"I swear they're insufferable sometimes." he commented, and when the sound of yours and Robin's laughter reached them he rolled his eyes.

"What did they do again?"

"We started watching a new series, The Boys, y'know about those superheroes who are actually evil..."

"I like that series." Eddie commented.

"The series is cool, but their behavior?" he replied pointing with his hand toward the living room. "They suck."

"What do you mean?"

"When Kimko appeared on screen Robin almost licked it man, and y/n? She can't stop marveling at Hughie, you can't even focus properly on watching because they won't stop talking!"

"Oh no! How about Diego Hargreeves having to share y/n's heart with ANOTHER fictional character?" your brother said sarcastically.

"I don't know, but the list is getting longer and longer." laughed Steve. "What are you studying?" he asked.

"The queen of science, math." said a somewhat embarrassed Eddie handing him a book.

"Shit, I remember that section, I barely managed to pass it."

"I don't understand what could be difficult about it." Dustin interjected.

"Oh, just shut up." groaned Eddie.

"Yea, dude, shut up." Steve agreed, throwing a pillow at the younger boy. Maybe Steve Harrington had actually gone to the bright side of power?

You were sitting with Robin in the living room watching the TV. Steve had disappeared into Dustin's room more than an hour ago, and from time to time you could hear the loud laughter of all three of them. You definitely doubted that it was the math that amused them so much.

"So, how's the situation with Tom?" Robin asked taking advantage of the moment that you were alone.

"Nothing new, we're not talking to each other again." you replied. "He took offense at me because I didn't want to go with him and his friends to the lake for the weekend."

"Why didn't you want to?"

"I was supposed to go and guard a bunch of drunken idiots so they wouldn't drown? And "party" all weekend listening to the same thing over and over again?"

"Right..." she sighed, leaning her head against your shoulder.

"I know I'm not the best girlfriend in the world, but I really didn't feel like going there and getting tired. I'm increasingly wondering if this relationship even makes sense."

"I mean..." she began slowly.

"Don't finish. I know what you want to say, but I think I have to come to that conclusion myself in due time."

"Just remember that I'm here for you."

"I know."

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. You lazily got up from the couch completely not expecting to see Will there with tears in his eyes.

"Will, what happened? Are you okay?" What a stupid question, if everything was okay he wouldn't have come here all weepy. "Come in." You said taking his hand and led him to the living room couch. Seeing his condition Robin rose from her reclining position and looked hard at him.

"Okay kid, who do I have to kill?" she asked in a serious tone.

"Can you handle half the school?" he asked while sniffling.

"Do you want to find out?" she asked with a sinister smile causing him to chuckle quietly, but after a moment sadness took over his face again.

"I didn't know what to do with myself, Jonathan is in Miami with Argyle," he said.

"You know that you can come here at any time." you replied and you both sat down so that Will was between you and Robin. "Now tell us what happened."

"It's about a boy..." he sighed deeply. At the very beginning of high school, he got the courage to do a coming out in front of the whole group. You all unanimously announced that you were glad that he had decided to trust you in this matter and had your full support.

"Oh no, now I'm really have to murder someone," she said.

"Do you think Hopper will let us bury the corpse in your garden?" you turned jokingly to young Bayers.

"It's Liam, from the basketball team." he continued ignoring your question. "We've been writing with each other since the beginning of the school year, sometimes when he wasn't hanging out with his teammates we spent our breaks together, he always came to art club before his practice to talk. Sometimes...Sometimes when we were just the two of us he would grab my hand, so I thought he liked me too. Sometimes I felt like he was flirting with me? I don't know..."

"Turns out he doesn't feel the same?" Robin asked in a voice full of sympathy and put her arm around him.

"I think so..." he replied. "For a while he kept mentioning that we should hang out outside of school, just the two of us, so I thought I'd invite him to tomorrow's concert."

"He didn't agree?" you interjected. The boy was silent for a long moment, and tears once again came to his eyes.

"I wanted to go there with him, I even asked Hopper if he would drive us, since it's about a twenty-minute drive. Lucas told me they were having a training session after class today, so I wanted to catch him before. I hadn't thought through the fact that asking him out in front of a locker room full of his teammates would be a mistake." He hid his face in his hands. "As soon as I finished speaking Jason jumped out of the door and started making fun of me. The entire group except Lucas joined him. Including Liam."

"I swear I'll strangle that kid one day." you were furious. Furious because you knew Jason all too well. Ironically, the biggest enemy of your brother and his friends was your boyfriend's brother. "Do you want me to talk to Tom about it?" you suggested, hoping that maybe he could somehow control Jason.

"No, please. It's going to get worse."

"Fine." You said hugging him.

"Did we miss the cuddle party?" Steve asked seeing the three of you cuddled up together on the couch.

"What happened Will the Wise?" Eddie added seeing the boy's reddened eyes. The man looked at him uncertainly and then at you mutely asking you if he could trust Eddie on the matter.

"I think you can tell him. He's a good guy." You said squeezing his shoulder and sent Eddie a shy smile. You knew he would never do anything to hurt one of his sheep. More than once you heard stories where he himself shielded them from attacks by bullies from the school.

Will once again got through telling the story, this time it came much more calmly.

"Carver is a piece of shit. I don't know who's more hopeless, him or his asslickers. I think Sinclair is the only sane person out of the whole squad." Eddie commented.

"Yes, Jason is a piece of shit, and I can't believe my sister is still dating his brother!" exclaimed Dustin.

"I started dating Tom before you went to high school you little asshole! Besides, you liked him at first."

"I liked him! Past tense! Now it turns out that being hellacious idiots runs in their family."

"Dustin!" Robin shouted wanting to stand up for you.

"What, when was the last time you saw her happy around him? Because I only associate numerous quarrels, which unfortunately I also hear!"

"Dustin, stop talking." Steve added.

"You all know I'm right!" your brother rolled his eyes and went to the kitchen.

"We're not talking about me now Dustin!" you shouted in exasperation. The worst thing about it all was that he was right. You slowly began to hate who Tom was becoming. Maybe he had always been like this and with you he was just pretending? There was a stunned silence in the room. You looked around at everyone gathered there, each of them pretending to be interested in something completely different. Your gaze was stuck on Eddie, who was nervously playing with the rings on his hand. After a moment, however, he lifted his gaze and your eyes met. He felt sorry to see your sad expression. You looked as if you felt guilty for being in a relationship with Jason's brother. He smiled at you slightly wanting to comfort you in this way, but you quickly looked away.

"No more spitting venom!" Robin said. "I suggest a movie and pizza, how about that?"

"Sounds good." replied Will.

"So I uh- probably should get going, thanks for the lesson Dustin." said Eddie a feeling a little uncomfortable.

"Aren't you staying with us?" asked a puzzled Steve.

"Do you want me to stay?" asked an even more shocked Eddie.

"Yeah, why not? The couch is big enough."

"And, if these two start being at each other's throats we could use another pair of hands to separate them." Robin added with a wince.

Thus, the rest of the day passed by eating junk food and watching movies. You tried to ignore the fact that you and Eddie very often reached for the popcorn bowl at the same time and your hands touched then. You tried very hard to ignore the strange shiver that ran through your body at that moment. When he caught you looking at him from time to time he immediately smiled at you and you reddened and reciprocated. Later, you were embatteled by the asking gaze of Robin, whose attention could not escape anything. You had the feeling that every glance of this kind from her burned you to the ground.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" asked Will when everyone was getting ready to leave.

"Propably nothing." Steve. answered.

"Do you guys wanna go to the concert? I still want to go to it, but not alone. Especially since Jason and his moronic friends might be there."

"That's a good idea, but we won't fit in my car. Eddie, can you handle taking y/n, Dustin and Will with you? I'll take Robin, Max and Lucas and we'll meet you there."

"Oh- sounds like a plan." said a surprised Eddie. Spending time with you for the second day in a row sounded extremely tempting to him. In addition, there was also another new feeling. For the first time in a very long time, he felt wanted somewhere. He felt included in the group hoping that this would not be a one-time action.

When you said goodbye to everyone and closed the door you saw Dustin sitting on the couch. You could see by the look on his face that he was thinking hard about something.

"Hey." you said, sitting down next to him.

"Hey..." he replied quietly. You took the remote control and started switching channels in silence. "I'm sorry." he said after a long moment.

"It's fine." you replied. "I'm not mad," you said.

"He just annoys me so bad y/n. I really can't remember the last time you were happy around him. You are constantly arguing, avoiding him and meetings with him."

"How do you know?"

"He texted me today."

"What?"

"You told him that you don't want to go to the lake with them and you have to watch me. He wrote to me to check on you." Blood boiled inside you.

"Thank you for covering my ass."

"After all, that's what brothers are for, right?"

"True."

"I miss the times when you were happy. It's so much better than the grumpy version of you that trails around the house most of the time."

"I know Dustin, and I promise that will change. But it's not as easy as it seems, y'know?"

"Yeah." He sighed and stood up. "I'm going to go to my room now."

"Goodnight."

"'night."

You were left alone. Maybe not entirely alone. You were accompanied by thoughts that poisoned your brain and your mood. You knew your night will be hard and full of thoughts, questions and doubts.

On Saturday Eddie woke up full of energy, excitedly walking around the apartment humming something under his breath. He spent a little more time today than usual wondering what he should wear. When Uncle Wayne woke up a little earlier than normal he found his nephew throwing all the clothes from the laundry basket onto the floor.

"What are you looking for, kid?" he asked leaning against the doorframe. Eddie only made an irritated sound to return to his room and do the same with the clothes from the closet. An amused Wayne watched the boy closely.

"Have you seen my vest?" the boy was now flipping through the pile of clothes on the floor. "I can't find it anywhere!"

The elder Munson only shook his head and went to the bathroom, where the "missing" vest was hanging on the dryer along with other things Eddie had pulled out after washing yesterday. When he returned to the room, he handed it to his nephew and sat on the bed watching the boy throw all the things back into the closet.

"Any special occasion that you're dressing up like this?" he asked after a moment.

"I'm going to a concert."

"Alone?"

"With...friends." For a moment he wondered if he could call you that. Of course he could say that about all of Hellfire, but could he say the same about Steve, Robin, Max and you? He would have liked to. Especially if it was about you.

"Since you're so worried about your look, I think you should wear that new pink sweater that's been hanging on the rack for a while."

"Oh." his face suddenly turned hot. He knew perfectly well which sweater he was referring to. He knew perfectly well that he was referring to the sweater that he should return to you the next day, but he was always held back by the thought that it might be an excuse for an extra meeting with you.

"Okay, you know I don't mind you bringing home guests while I'm at work, but I hope you know I'm not going to raise another Munson?"

"Jesus Christ Wayne!" shouted Eddie. "It's not at all what you think!" Shocked by his uncle's judgment, he immediately began to explain. "We met at a party that we both wanted to get out of as soon as possible so we bought pizza on the way and came here to see a movie, nothing more!"

"Sounds like a nice home date." Wayne shrugged his shoulders.

"She's got a boyfriend!" yelled Eddie suddenly, wanting to convince himself more than Wayne that your intentions toward him were purely friendly. "She went to that party with her boyfriend," he said.

"And she came back from it with you?" the man raised his eyebrows curiously.

"He's a real creepy ass Wayne, when she told him she was leaving he didn't even care. He didn't care how she got home or if she was safe."

"That doesn't sound very good." he mused. "If that girl is at the concert tonight make sure the sweater comes back to her."

"I know, I'll give it back to her." Eddie sighed. His uncle patted him on the shoulder and moved toward the door.

"And, Eddie?"

"Yeah?"

"No matter what you decide to do with the sweater...Remember I'm on your side." he said, closing the door behind him, leaving Eddie alone with his thoughts and the realization that he wasn't talking about a piece of clothing at all.

More than an hour before the scheduled time, you heard a knock on the door. Your mother, however, was quicker. Behind the closed door you heard muffled voices, you weren't sure who they belonged to. Your phone vibrated, you took it quickly in your hand hoping that Tom had mercifully written back to one of your messages, but it was only Robin sending you a video of a funny cat. You sighed and threw the phone to the other end of the bed. You imagined what his morning must have been like. They woke up hungover, then ate something, and now they were getting ready for another evening of partying. You didn't regret your decision. You didn't want to be there, however, you guessed that some of Tom's friends would be eager to take advantage of your lack of presence. You were pulled from your thoughts by another knock on the door, this time yours.

"Come in!" you shouted. A moment later, a familiar tumbling curls emerged from behind them. At the sight of his smile, your heart sped up slightly and all thoughts related to Tom disappeared as if by magic. Naveen, seeing one of his favorites at the speed of light, jumped off the bed and started jumping around Eddie, who after a while took him in his arms.

"I know I'm a little early, but I thought I might be able to use your services like last time," he said. Still holding the dog with one hand, he reached into his pocket with the other and pulled out a bottle of black nail polish.

"You are lucky that the salon is still open and waiting for your favorite customer. Feel free to come in!" with a hand gesture you pointed to the free side of the bed. Eddie lay down on his stomach and took one of the plush toys lying on the bed and used it as a prop putting his hands in front of you.

"Your nails look very metal too." he replied while looking at your hands with nails painted red.

"Do you want to go wild?" you asked sending him a mischievous smile. Seeing his puzzled face, you quickly jumped off the bed and ran to the drawer where you kept your cosmetics. From it you took out the red polish you had painted your nails with earlier. "We can mix them up. One finger in red and the rest in black! Or alternate them! Whatever you like."

"How about here, here and here red, and the rest black?" he suggested. He didn't know why the knowledge that you would have matching colors made him feel excited. He ended up with red on every finger he had a ring on, and the rest black. In the meantime, he told you about ideas for the next campaign, which was going to be one of the tougher ones they had so far. When Dustin returned from the store Eddie and he disappeared into his room and you had a moment to get ready. You checked your phone one last time, but seeing no news from Tom there, you muted it and promised yourself not to bother with it again today.

When you arrived at the place there were already crowds of people. There were plenty of food stands, benches to sit on, picnic tables with flyers on them, and posters with the names of the bands that would perform today. Most of them were local bands well known to everyone in the area.

"And where's Corroded Coffin?" you asked with a snort.

"Gareth is away with his family, we couldn't perform without our drummer."

"That's a shame, I'd love to see the real stars in action," you said.

"I mean- I know some of the bands that are performing here, if you want I can introduce you." he said embarrassed by your compliment.

You were poking around a bit when Eddie spotted one of the familiar bands that used to take turns playing with them at the Hideout. They were sitting at a table, and when they spotted the metalhead they immediately called him over. Munson introduced you to each other and you sat down with them. Robin immediately found company, bombarding the bass player with questions, and later they talked about the parties they attended together with Corroded Coffin. You didn't speak much while listening to the crazy stories and watching everyone. In addition to the animated Eddie, from whom positive energy was emanating, one more thing attracted your attention. The conversation passed pleasantly between you, but finally after some time they announced that they had to slowly get going because they wanted to practice before going on stage. You stayed at the table, and after a while Steve, Dustin, Eddie and Lucas went to buy you some drinks. You decided to take advantage of the moment that Will was left alone with you and started talking.

"Okay, was I the only one who noticed how the drummer was eyeing our Will? He couldn't stop staring at you!"

"Oh my God, yes!" Robin backed up. "Drummers are much better than basketball players William, trust an old friend. No offense Max." she said lightly nudging Max with her shoulder.

"No problem, if Lucas heard this I'd probably nod at you, he knows very well that I hate his brainless teammates" she rolled her eyes. "Oh, well, speaking of the devil." At that moment, almost the entire basketball team passed in front of your table, headed by Jason, to whom you sent a murderous glare when neither he nor his friends could refrain from making unpleasant comments in Will's direction. Abashed, he moved closer to you and you immediately snuggled protectively on his shoulder.

"Fuck those assholes. Let's focus on the super-handsome drummer you definitely caught the eye of." you said, and laughed as you saw his cheeks flush red. "Maybe Eddie could set you two up somewhere together sometime?" Max wondered out loud. "Or he can take us to their concert, where you can flood him with tons of compliments later!" Buckley added excitedly.

"Can we stop talking about me?" he asked embarrassedly.

"Do you have any better topics?" asked Max raising her eyebrows.

"Actually, yes." He replied after a moment. "What was the pink sweater of y/n doing in Eddie's car? I'm sure you didn't take it from home, because when he came to pick me up, and I was the first, the sweater was already there." He looked at you squinting his eyes. Immediately you felt Max and Robin's gaze on you, and that was even worse. Now it wasn't Will who was blushing. Panicked, you looked around you hoping that the rest of the group would return to the table and save you from this situation, but there was no sign of them.

"I was trying to ignore the fact that your nails suspiciously matched." Robin began.

"Or the weird texts about seeing real rock stars on stage," Max added.

"And those weird smiles during Hellfire? Whenever you leave the room he suddenly loses track of what's going on during the campaign, as if someone else's presence is distracting him."

"Can we get back to talking about Will?" you said, placing your forehead on the cold table top.

"Y/n Henderson, we demand an explanation. NOW." Robin aggressively tapped her finger on the table.

"We are friends with Eddie, okay? Nothing more, we were good friends in high school and now we've renewed our friendship!" you groaned. "I can't have friends anymore?"

"That still doesn't explain the mystery of your sweater in his car." said Max ignoring your question.

"imusthaveleftitathishouse." you muttered under your breath.

"Oh my God y/n! you know that my eighty-year-old grandmother has better hearing than I do. Speak up."

"I must have left it at his house!" you raised your voice. All three looked at you in disbelief. The shock made them all fall silent, speechless. When Robin had already recovered she unleashed chaos.

"You. Y/n Henderson. You were at Eddie's house. And I don't know about it!"

"Now we definitely need details!" Will shouted.

You felt like collapsing to the ground, but you knew they wouldn't let you off the hook. So you started telling about the evening when you went to his house after the party, all the while emphasizing that the whole meeting was on a purely friendly basis. Before they had time to bombard you with comments the guys returned with drinks, so the topic was dropped at the right moment. Steve and Eddie handed out bottles of drink to each in turn, and when you got yours Buckey immediately snatched it out of your hands.

"You don't deserve this! Traitors don't deserve it! " she shouted.

"What the hell?" asked Steve watching you.

"We don't like her anymore Steve. She is not our friend. She has secrets from us, Steve. Secrets." Pretending to be heartbroken, she placed her hands over her heart. "She broke my heart. She's not even worthy of a drop of dirty water."

"Okay drama queen, enough. I told you everything you wanted to know, now let's go, it's about to start." You said rolling your eyes and got up from the table. Everyone moved behind you. The concert got going very quickly, the bands performed their own songs alternating with covers. People sang, danced and enjoyed themselves like there was no tomorrow. This energy quickly infected you. When a band that included robin's friends from the school orchestra took the stage she climbed on Steve's shoulders and shouted the loudest of the crowd. You watched her with amusement when suddenly Eddie crouched down in front of you.

"Come on," he said. "Hop in and join Buckley in her little madness." After a moment's hesitation, you agreed. Eddie was strong. You had to give him credit for that. Being now on the same level as Robin you sang that you were not America's Sweetheart, along with the singer on stage who sent invisible kisses every now and then in your direction. Making sure you didn't fall, you felt Eddie's hands clasping your thighs with just the right amount of force. And when you weren't holding your hands up or holding Robin's hand you took the opportunity to sink your fingers into his curls. You had to occupy your hands with something so they wouldn't accidentally go lower and meet Eddie's on your thighs. Playing with his hair seemed to be the most sensible solution. When you finally unburdened the poor guys the whole group went to the hot dogs all the time feeling the positive emotions of the place flow through you. After resting for a while, Steve and Eddie started competing at the stalls where you could win teddy bears. Throwing darts has never been as much fun as it was tonight. Rapt in competition they lost a fortune ending with a tie. They each won four plushies. The plush dinosaur straight from Eddie's hands went to yours. He kept the little bat to himself claiming it would be perfect for the Corrorded Coffin mascot, he gave Robin and Max the two teddy bears that had left.

When you returned to the stage Eddie's friends were just starting to enter it. After a short break, everyone was again energized for more craziness. Halfway through the performance, a familiar melody reached you. It was one of the many songs that you and Will loved to scream to the point of tearing your throat out. It was definitely your song, and Dustin's, who, as always, tried to hide his excitement and be "cool." Seeing your little brother roll his eyes young Bayers turned to you.

"Come on!" he shouted and grabbed your hand pulling you in front of the stage. Due to the fact that coincidentally Eddie was standing right next to you you automatically grabbed his hand and pulled him behind you. This way you were in front of the stage, in the front row screaming the lyrics at the top of your lungs.

I wanna taste love and pain Wanna feel pride and shame I don't wanna take my time Don't wanna waste one line

You didn't care about anything. It's been a very long time since you felt so happy. And Eddie? Eddie felt your happiness with all of himself. You looked happy, free and wild. That's the kind of you he wanted to see forever. He wanted to witness as much of that as possible. In addition, all the time your hand held his firmly.

I wanna live better Days Never look back and say It could have been me It could have been me

3 minutes. For three minutes straight you held his hand. And although the whole world and the rest of the evening seemed to move on he stayed in those three minutes until the very end still feeling your touch despite the fact that your hand no longer held his.

You were already lying in bed ready to fall asleep when you got a message from Tom. It was cool that he remembered your existence. In the message was a screen of Max's Instagram story, which included a photo of you and Robin sitting on Steve and Eddie's shoulders holding hands and smiling widely. You didn't even pay attention when she managed to take this photo, nevertheless you smiled at the sight of it. After a while, a second message arrived.

Tom: I thought you were supposed to watch Dustin this weekend

You: I was watching im, we went to a concert together

Tom: you were watching over him while sitting on that weirdo?

Something boiled inside you. Normally you would have felt guilty. You knew that sooner or later remorse would get you, but you didn't want to do it now. You had spent one of the best evenings of your life tonight and you didn't want to let his stupid jealousy take that away from you. Besides,��who is talking about jealousy here? He wanted to play that way? Go ahead. You quickly went on his instagram and took screenshots of all the photos where he was tagged and where he was hugging other girls there, or holding them on his lap. You sent them back to him with the caption "wanna talk about this too?" You did not receive any more answers. Your good mood like a soap bubble popped. Hearing the arrival of another message you were in a combative attitude for an argument, but saw that it was not Tom you immediately softened.

Eddie: you up?

You: nope, what's up?

Eddie: thinking about Byers, what do you think?

He sent you a Hellfire T-shirt design, only this time the lettering was rainbow. In later messages, he explained that he wanted to show Will in some way that he had their support. The T-shirt topic, however, was just the beginning. The two of you texted together for a few more hours before you fell asleep having a small plush dinosaur in hand.

taglist: @i-me-mine

[hippolotamus]

For the fic title ask: Buddie, ‘Save the last dance for me’

Dearest Owl, I know the title doesn't match, but I hope you love it anyway 🦉🚒🦛

for the record | 2453 Words | Rated T

Happy birthday again, sis.” Buck gathers Maddie in a tight embrace as long as she’ll let him. Since she came home from Boston, it’s been more difficult for him to keep these moments from stretching out. “Tell Jee I’m looking forward to seeing my favorite girl next week.”

“No worries about that, little brother. She cannot stop talking about it. Well, at least, as much as a toddler can. Which is a surprising amount, even if I can’t understand it all.” Maddie notes with an affectionate, sleepy smile. “Thanks again for tonight, Evan. I really did not see this coming.”

Warmth floods his chest, spreading outward across his limbs. She looks tired, but that’s to be expected. It’s late, she’s back working at dispatch, all while attempting to reconfigure a life that includes her partner and child. Beneath that Buck can see her usual radiance. The sunshine he recognizes from an otherwise lonely childhood. It’s been far too long since he saw her this way. Smiling, pleased, laughing. Living.

“Anything for you, Mads. I, uh, figured it might be better luck to surprise you here instead of Bobby and Athena’s place. Y’know, after what happened last time.” Buck involuntarily winces, recalling the details people told him afterward about collapsing on the Grant-Nash patio, nearly choking on his own blood.

He hates the instant frown on Maddie’s face, part of her classic ‘Big Sister’ look. The kind that says she already knows he’s suffered enough for that particular error in judgment, but is never going to let him forget how worried she was. How much she still prioritizes his well-being.

“Anyway, you only turn twenty-nine… how many times is it now?” He tries to lighten the mood again, wanting to end the evening on a high note.

“And that is why we don’t let you do math, Buckaroo,” Chim interjects, taking Maddie’s hand, threading their fingers together. “We need to go home and get some rest. Unfortunately, Jee still hasn’t learned the concept of sleeping past 6 am.”

“Ohh, that is rough. Now get out of here, both of you.” Buck loves kids, but he also values sleeping in. He makes a shooing motion with his hands, playfully pushing them into the hallway.

“Goodnight, Buck! Goodnight, Eddie!” Maddie and Chim exclaim in unison, already halfway to the elevator.

“Good… night?” Eddie sprints to the doorway, his heavy boots thudding against the floor, but isn’t able to catch them in time. “Okay, then,” he mutters, seemingly to himself.

Eddie disappears back to the living room. Or was he in the kitchen? Buck isn’t exactly sure as he closes the door, turning the lock before sagging against it and letting his eyelids fall closed. When he agreed to host Maddie’s party at his loft he hadn’t realized what an undertaking it would be. Even with all the planning and help from the rest of the team.

Bobby, Athena and May brought side dishes. Hen, Karen and Eddie hung decorations, brought the cake and chipped in for drinks. Between himself and Sue from dispatch, Buck made sure none of it got back to Maddie or Chim. He ultimately doesn’t feel too bad about the hushed discussions and occasional awkward excuses – however necessary – if it meant not burdening Chim with keeping a secret. Especially from Maddie.

“Does this thing actually work?”

Buck forces his eyes open at the sound of Eddie’s voice, pushing off the door to seek him out. He only has to take a few steps to find him casually tracing the edge of the record player. Buck would be lying if he said it didn’t immediately make him imagine what it might be like to have Eddie’s calloused fingertips brushing over his skin. Or leaving bruises on his hips from gripping him just this side of too much. Or any number of other things Buck definitely shouldn’t be thinking about with Eddie right in front of him.

“Uh, yeah. Of course, it does,” Buck says, choosing to sit on the opposite side of the kitchen island instead of drifting next to Eddie like he wants to. He figures a little distance, and privacy to adjust his pants, can only help until his body calms down. “Why?”

“I’ve just never heard you play anything on it. Not even tonight. I guess I just… wondered,” Eddie replies quietly, as though he’s inquiring about more than the functionality of the player.

Wondered what? Buck wants to ask as Eddie rubs his thumb along the corner of the protective cover. Instead he answers the not-quite question.

“I used to. When I first moved in. I stopped after the whole leg getting crushed under a ladder truck incident. Seeing as it was a literal pain to switch tracks.” Buck huffs out a humorless laugh. “After that I’m not really sure why I didn’t start again? I guess it didn’t seem worth it when Ali left, and Taylor found it, uh, distracting.”

“Hmm,” Eddie hums, pointing to the cabinet below. “This where you keep your collection?”

“I don’t know if I’d call it a collection, but yeah.”

It’s rude to stare, Buck knows that, but he can’t seem to stop. Not when Eddie slides the top drawer out, smooth and easy, gingerly lifting the stack of LPs, setting them upright. He handles them with care - like Eddie does with everything he touches. He flips through one by one, his tongue poking out between his lips as he inspects front-to-back then back-to-front again.

“God, I haven’t heard some of these since I was a kid,” Eddie comments. “Abuela would play them when me and my sisters stayed at her house.”

Buck smiles to himself, picturing a young Eddie listening to records with Abuela, maybe dancing in her living room or pretending to sing along. Perhaps both.

Like he knows what train of thought he’s interrupting, Eddie looks over with a hint of something bright and playful and curious. “Which one should we listen to first?”

Without even seeing the album covers Buck could list off which ones are there, and in what order. Still, he leaves his chair to peruse the options. And maybe because he’s always been drawn to Eddie, unable to stay away for too much time. Either way, it’s been a long day. An enjoyable one, but still lengthy, and Buck simply doesn’t have the willpower to maintain the distance anymore.

Eddie wordlessly presses their shoulders together while Buck pretends to reacquaint himself. Something they’ve done hundreds of times before, but manages to feel more intentional and weighted. Like Eddie wants Buck to be aware of his presence. As if Buck could ever not be.

Finally, Buck points to one near the back of the pile. Something loosens in his chest when he touches it, tapping it gently. As if the record had asked to be chosen and was now letting Buck know he chose correctly.

“This one.”

“This one?” Eddie repeats, his voice a bit huskier than Buck has ever heard before. He already wonders if he’ll get to hear it again. Eddie’s hand trails across the thin cardboard ridges, until the tips of their fingers meet.

“Y-yeah,” Buck stutters softly, pulling the neutral-toned square from the stack, trying to pretend his insides aren’t quivering like jello and his heart isn’t threatening to beat out of his chest. “I, uh, got this one at a thrift store. It was in a box with some others I really wanted, and the owner wouldn’t sell them separately. So it kinda came along for the ride.”

Buck proceeds to slide the disk out of the paper sleeve to place it on the spindle. “It all worked out, though. One day I put it on, just to know if it was worth keeping. I really liked the sound. It’s… different,” he says, carefully setting the needle at the edge of the vinyl.

Soft pops and crackles begin to play through the speaker, a sound he hasn’t heard in ages. It curls around him, soothing him down to his bones. Maybe that’s what possesses him then, what gives him the courage he’s never had before. It could also be a complete lack of filter from playing host all evening, or the tranquil melody of the music itself. Maybe all of it. Or maybe just Eddie, familiar and devastatingly handsome, who smells like the woodsy cologne Buck said he liked once.

“Dance with me?” The words fall out in a breathy, rushed request.

Eddie’s eyes widen for a beat, warm and brown and reflecting the Edison bulbs hanging overhead. He stares long enough that Buck begins to think he’s crossed a line. That he’s read everything all wrong and this perfect moment is about to come crashing down on him.

“I’m– I’m sorry. If you don’t want to-“ Buck cuts himself off, starting to withdraw. He can feel himself blinking rapidly, his legs becoming shaky as he attempts to take a step back.

“Buck.” Eddie says his name like maybe it’s not the first time. Buck is certain he hears a sharp intake of breath — whether it’s his own is questionable — when Eddie reaches over, encircling his wrist.

“Buck.” Softer this time, like a plea. Eddie skims over the thin skin and delicate bones until he laces their fingers together, pulls Buck to his chest. Their eyes meet again and Buck can’t tear himself away. He can’t see anything but Eddie, who’s swiping his tongue across his lips and tentatively winding one arm around Buck’s waist. “I do want.”

“Eddie,” Buck breathes, mirroring Eddie and letting one of his palms rest on Eddie’s shoulder.

Kiss me once, then kiss me twice

Then kiss me once again.

It's been a long, long time.

On the rare chance Buck has a dance partner these days, he’s used to being the one leading. The thought doesn’t even cross his mind when Eddie does so, guiding them in an easy, unhurried rhythm.

“You’re a surprisingly good dancer,” Buck blurts out.

“I may have done this once or twice.” Eddie’s teasing grin softens to something that Buck can only describe as fond before he adds, “You know, I’ve been trying to lead all my life, keep everything moving in the right direction. Maybe I just needed to find someone who doesn’t mind that I won’t always get it right, or if I step on their feet once in a while.”

Oh. Buck can feel his cheeks flush, the tingling heat licking up the back of his neck. It sounds a lot like Eddie’s saying that Buck might be that person. He’s not entirely sure what to do with that. But he knows he wants to be that someone for Eddie. In all ways. Not only at their job, or as a co-parent for Christopher.

Haven’t felt like this, my dear

since I can’t remember when

It’s been a long, long time

They continue swaying gently, filling Buck with the sort of optimism he would normally try to shove down before Eddie can say none of this means what he thinks it does. That he’s only imagining Eddie seems to be holding him closer. Or how simple and uncomplicated it feels. Like this moment – perhaps the most intimate and cared for he’s ever felt – is one more way he and Eddie are meant to be touching. Another level unlocked that could be something more. Something real.

You'll never know how many dreams

I've dreamed about you.

Or just how empty they all seemed without you.

The song comes to an end, leaving the needle drifting to the center and skipping on the inner ring. Buck bites the inside of his cheek, steeling himself to pull away if only because there’s no true reason to continue holding Eddie. Not like this, like someone Buck can keep. Except his body doesn’t appear to get the memo. Their hands stay linked and one of Buck’s remains fixed on Eddie’s shoulder. So he waits for Eddie to let go first, or move, or remind him to do something. But Eddie stays, too, lips parted and flicking his gaze down to Buck’s mouth, just for a moment. Just long enough.

Buck decides he can hate himself later for the words that tumble out next. “Eds, I– if I got this wrong can we promise to just forget it ever happened?”

Eddie blinks once, twice, looking like he might bolt as the implication of Buck’s question hits him. Buck nearly corrects himself, ready to play the question off as a joke. Because this – slow dancing with his best friend and feeling like they are on the precipice of something – all has to be the product of his love-addled brain. Until—

“I don’t think that’s possible,” Eddie whispers, sliding his palm around the back of Buck’s neck, pulling him in and claiming his mouth for a kiss that is everything Buck’s been hoping for. There are no traces of hesitation or doubt, only Eddie sighing, soft and content, like he’s been wanting just as much. Not that Buck only wants the physical connection. He’ll take any piece Eddie will let him have, but, truthfully, he wants all of them.

“Thank you for understanding where I was going with that,” Buck murmurs when they separate, feeling ecstatic and giddy because Eddie just kissed him. Finally.

Eddie‘s lips curve up in the private smile he only ever uses for Buck or Chris. “I guess you’re not so bad at leading either.”

“Maybe. But, uh, I have been, too. Waiting for someone. Because I am gonna mess up the steps sometimes.” Buck swallows around the nervous lump in his throat, looking at Eddie with a mix of hope and fear and anticipation. “I just really wanted to get it right this time. With you.”

“I know the feeling. I think we did, though. I know we did. Get it right this time, I mean.” Eddie presses a kiss to his birthmark that’s so tender Buck thinks he might cry.

There are so many things Buck wants to say, but can’t find the correct words for. Things that have been living in his head for years at this point. But if Eddie’s going to insist on being so casually goddamn romantic, it’s going to take Buck a minute. He cradles Eddie’s face in his hands, thinking maybe he can ask for the next best thing. At least for now. “Kiss me again?”

Eddie leans in, until their lips brush together when he speaks and Buck can taste every word. “For the record, always assume I want to kiss you. Once.” Eddie kisses the corner of his mouth. “Twice.” He kisses the other corner, then centers himself once again, murmuring against Buck’s mouth. “Forever.”

[jumengz]

math and love ;lee juyeon>

math was really a wreck ball for you, you never understood it, but soon enough, who knew would soon be a turn over with the help of juyeon; quiet, smart, mean and couldn't be bothered about anyone but he is such a heart throbber, why must such a jerk be so pretty?

math.. it was the most dreading 3 hours of your day, you, barely awake, woken up by your name called out by your teacher. you quickly stood up full of anticipation you actually studied for this exam so it made you more excited expecting a good results. your results... disappointed you so badly but why? you studied for long hours for this exam though.. you slumped your shoulders as your math teacher gave you that look, she wanted to talk to you, "i think you really need some help.. your results gets worse each time. meet me after class" shitty was what you felt it was so annoying, you never understood math and now really proves math is really not your subject.

the bell rang, i slowly picked my bag to look for your math teacher. you entered her classroom, but she wasnt the only one there, beside her was a tall, black haired, well put upped; lee juyeon. what the hell. you didnt even want to take a step closer anything with juyeon would be hell, he was mean to everyone and so selfish. "there you are! i think i found your way to ace this class" your math teacher said with a wide smile on her face pointing to juyeon "your new tutor!", he just looked at you with no reaction. "oh please, he barely even shares his notes, your asking him to teach me now?" you said full of disgust "i dont think so, he was the one that actually proposed this idea to me juyeon is such a gem!" you stood there mouth agape, in disbelief as you swallowed her words, you looked up to see juyeon looking right in your eyes pricking up a grin 'nah bruh..' you thought.

well you still had to suck it up, but you still couldn't believe it even at the fact that your walking to his house together now to start your first session "so, let me guess you dont study at all?" juyeon said raising his eyebrows, oh that made you little angry, "hey! i actually did! really hard! i just cant get math, math hates me i hate math" you said juyeon just looked at you admiring you, it was just juyeon but come to look at him hes actually really pretty. reality hits when you took a step into his room, math... again. "so what is so difficult for you" he said that with his head leaning on his right hand staring right into your eyes, "i dont know..." you replied he just chuckled showing his pearly whites. after sometime, we finally got somewhere to start, honestly i dont know why but for the first time i actually understood math a lot better it was unbelievable.

you tried doing the question but at the corner of your eyes you kept looking at him, but he was already staring deep at you, you quickly looked away with your rosy cheeked, cursing yourself, then juyeon let out a laugh "was that worth a laugh?" you yelped "it was pretty cute" juyeon laughed pinching your cheeks, that made your heart race so fast "why am i acting like this?" you quietly thought. it was dark already and you were getting alot tired, you kept dozing off and waking up until you really felt off and slept while juyeon went to go get water for you, he came back to you sleeping on his table, he quietly took tiny steps back to his seat infront of you, placing the water gently on the table, he looked at you, adrenaline rush came it was full of love, he reached out his hands and tucked your hair behind your ear "your so cute fuck" he cursed he went closer to you feeling the warmth between the two of you.

juyeon fully laid beside you with both your heads on the tables, you slowly opened your eyes only to see juyeons perfects face causing you to react and the cup of water spilled all over you "shit" you let out juyeon quickly picked up the cup, getting a cloth to dry your shirt he quickly went to his closet to bring out a hoodie "its abit big but wear this, i dont want you falling sick" he said with a concerning voice. coming out of the toilet with his clothes, why have you not ever notice how juyeon was such a sweet person it made you fold for him much more, you have never seen this side of him before you were only used to the juyeon that gave people looks ,selfish, never shared any notes with anyone. juyeon keep his eyes as you walked over to him "sorry.." you said he just nodded his head he was too busy looking at his clothes on you "my clothes look even better on you, you worked really hard today, and honestly i had a hard time trying to keep my feeling kept but fuck your so loveable, i may be a jerk to everyone but honestly i would do anything for you it kills me to just see you and i would be too scared to approach you, i really like you" you just stood there "what the fuck" was the shit you thought i never imagined this but honestly i loved him so much more today, you walked to him, heat generating in you as you leaned to him and you placed your lips on his, he took it and embraced it, the warmth filled the room, breaking the kiss juyeon chuckled "stay with me tonight and forever please"

[gg-selvish]

sapnap/unresolved georgenap in rules

someone on retrospring asked me for sapnap's perspective in rules because it's pretty underdevlopped in the fic so here's my answer so i have it saved because it was fun to talk about

ok i. ran out of time for sapnap in rules and i will be the first to admit that. sapnaps arc isnt very as satisfyingly resolved as dreams and thats because the dnf damage was just so intense and so fresh it took priority over longterm hurt but. theres a lot there that he went through thats implied and also in my personal headcanons of unwritten lore that implications stem from that i dont describe well or explore enough in the actual fic (sorry self burn booooooo)

rules is sapnap fell first george fell harder. 100%. its established in chapter 1 that sapnap had a crush on george since they were young and it was implied that george knew about it for most of the time of their friendship because it would be brought up casually/jokingly and while george thought it was lighthearted (and, once they got together, irrelevant) it was pure torture for sapnap.

loving both of your best friends is very difficult, if you could imagine. in my head dreamnap eased into each other better than georgenap did (emotionally) but... thats not really hard to do. dream and him established probably pretty similarly to treacherous in that it didnt take too long for them to realize their feelings for each other, but in rules george is more present so they get together faster because as we all know dreamnap are kind of scared of each other while george is the worlds biggest instigator. dnn complete each other yadda yadda im getting sidetracked

so they establish that they want each other and start this relationship but we're gonna math it out. sapnap isnt getting words of affirmation (outside of e-sex like praise no i love yous) or physical touch from george. he's getting words of affirmation from dream but limited physical touch due to The Rules (wooooooo). another thing thats quick in the fic is that dreamnap kinda lock away from each other because they Want to be together and theyre Not Allowed To so u can imagine the strain that would put on all of their dynamics. theyre so close but limited to compromise with someone who cant even say i love you or touch them like its Hard bro and theres resentment that comes from that piled atop the years of teasing for feelings that sapnap can never even be sure are reciprocated are u kidding????

so not only is there this prodding and underlying making fun of sapnaps feelings at regular interverals and overall memeing on him for YEARS theres george putting him in a painful position in the relationship too. more resentment. the piles getting pretty high, huh? and then they meet. theyre together. and its george but its also someone completely different. suddenly he's being worshipped and touched like gold with the kindest words whispered and he slips into subspace and feels so safe and he loves george so much why does it have to be so hard?

so he settles for when it's not hard.

he consents to cosigning the breaking of dreams heart and lets george sleep with him alone because for just a few minutes or hours he can pretend he means something to george. because he has doubts. maybe id go so far as to say theres times where he really doesnt believe him at all. but he does believe him when he's combing fingers through his hair and letting him taste love on his tongue

i think a lot about dreamnap in oklahoma. how sapnap felt to sleep in the same bed as dream and want to be with him alone the way they were when george was on call but he cant. all the while knowing if george was in his place he could do whatever he wants because hes on another wavelength

more resentment. george always wins, isn't that so unfair?

and when sapnap comes back different. that line is important and holds a lot of weight. thats when he got tired of george being unfair and dragging him through the mud and he wanted to be strong against someone who makes him weak so he tries so hard even though hes being torn in two and he's so tired, can you imagine? so he stops the unsafe scene. more resentment builds. he's done with george. he cant take this anymore. hes ruining everything and so he pulls away from him even more

and then he gets drunk and george crawls under his skin and he fails and can you imagine how much he was beating himself in the head for that? after being so strong and maybe he felt excluded a little because of it but he wasnt being weak and then george fucking makes him weak again and dream catches him and it all blows up because he was weak

and still. even with sapnap and him on the chopping block. george does not say i love you.

sapnap defends him in the fight. and george still doesnt say it.

it takes dream taking him apart and nearly forcing vulnerability. and sure sapnap is told first but was it because of him? do you think he'll always wonder if it was always going to be dream fixing george and never him? do you think he would feel resentful about that as well?

there's a lot of negativity in him. he's been really dragged through it and treated like shit and theres a part of me who has this perspective and sees rules!george apologists and wonders if theyre thinking about any of this. if any of it is even detectable in the tiny one liners i slipped in because i was going too fast

rules is about george at face value, but it's also kind of about dream, and it's definitely about sapnap.

[mythicandco]

OK OK HERE WE GO

this is also gonna be long i also love these kids too much (and if some of this doesn't exactly align with timeline canon then uhhh. forgive me? this is just the silly brainworms) [same rules from your ask, everything platonic yadda yadda]

Jonah, Adam, and Evelin have all known each other since they were quite young. Adam and Jonah basically since kindergarten, and they met Evelin in late elementary/early middle school. They were a fun trio for a long time and did basically everything together. Then Adam and Evelin officially got together in early high school and things started to drift. Jonah felt more and more like a third wheel, hangouts were few and far between, basically the beginning of Adam and Evelin's relationship was good for them but not good for the whole group.

Mid-end of high school is when things started to fall apart between the two of them until it all led to the breakup. This would also be around when Adam's obsession with Alternates got more and more present and the investigations started. However, this was also when Evelin and Jonah got closer, they kinda bonded over feeling mistreated by Adam and would vent their frustrations to each other. Jonah was never really angry at her during the relationship, he just kinda felt like he was left behind, so being able to explain his frustrations to her allowed him to release a lot of pent-up stress.

Similar to what you said, Adam and Jonah are basically inseparable. they were like The Duo of every school they went to. yknow. The Two Weird Kids Duo. Jonah was loud and brash but wasn't really good at making friends, Adam was a brooding and mysterious loner, no one ever expected them to get along but they did. Jonah was always the nervous and cautious one though. Adam was the one dragging the two of them to random hangout spots. yeah Jonah would do stupid shit, smoke in school, etc, but he never really put their safety on the line like Adam would sometimes. The reason that after everything, Jonah still sticks around is because Adam was his first and closest friend. While there's not a lot of verbal "hey you mean a lot to me man" going around between the two, there's a lot of driving each other home after a bad night, buying food for each other, making sure homework is done at the very least--however correct or incorrect it is. like i said, actions speaking louder than words.

Evelin is really sensitive. She's a strong kid, don't get me wrong, but she's easy to worry and such. She was very hesitant to break up with Adam, she put up with a lot and constantly told herself that it would get better. When things only got worse and Adam's behavior just became more and more odd, she knew what she had to do and it really broke her heart. Again, this is someone she's known and cared about for a long time so it's hard to let go. After the breakup, I believe she still cares quite a lot, but with everything going on it's just so difficult to confront again.

That being said, she's probably one of the smartest of the bunch. I tell ya, she definitely helped the BPS when getting their equipment, I'm fully convinced she would take money out of her own paycheck to get them stuff to use from MandelaTech. She also did this to help Dave feel better on bad business days. He might be out at the time, she'll put some money in and pocket some stuff, and when he comes back she tells him that a few people actually came in. She cares a lot. Also i think she's a math whizz. I don't know why. I just think she's good with numbers.

Sarah, oh boy Sarah. Sarah met the trio in high school, she knew of them but didn't really know them until Adam joined the BPS and introduced them to her. She actually rather likes Jonah and thinks he's really smart for backing out of some missions that look extremely sus. She admires his judgment and is like "yes. good. self-preservation. someone around here has it." She would interact with Evelin everyone once in a while and it was all good things. She was really grateful for the stuff she would bring from MandelaTech and she would ask about Dave every once in a while (i believe in Dave being Mark and Sarah's Uncle, but I also believe in Sarah being very distant with him because of his association with Thatcher. She does still love and care about him which is why she would ask Evelin how he's doing). Sarah and Adam is a really sad friendship i think. I think when they first met because of him signing up for the BPS they got on really really well. Her being genuinely interested in the paranormal Adam being a bit of a skeptic but having a fascination with Alternates. It made for good friendly debates and just some fun times. The fascination with Alternates did throw Sarah off a bit (i mean. yeah obviously. the trauma), but there was something about the fearlessness that Adam would talk about them with really inspired her. She had always grown up terrified and angry, but hearing someone talk about them without fear made her feel strong. Of course that all kind of came crashing down when he brought her to an actual literal Alternate crime scene which she definitely wasn't ready for. There was definitely a prominent rift in their friendship after that. She still cared but hangouts would become less and less frequent once more, and she then joined the "He's Being Very Weird And We Feel Victimized" weekly sunday brunch club with Jonah and Evelin.

When it comes to the four of them as a unit, Jonah is their heart. I can't explain why I feel this, I just feel like he was the beam of positivity they all had to look to. Deep down, he's utterly and completely terrified. He's mortified of losing his friends both just by them leaving him and by them dying. He constantly feels the need to schedule hangouts, go out and do things, and just remind everyone "hey! we're alive! isn't that awesome!" He's also definitely the one that'll take one of them off to the side to say "hey...are you alright?" Especially with Sarah. Even though he smokes, he notices that she does it a lot (i believe Sarah would probably struggle with a smoking/drinking problem due to the amount of stress she deals with), and he always checks up on her to make sure she isn't going through cigs like wildfire. He's not the "responsible" friend, but he is the most caring. Sarah is the micromanager. She feels the constant need to know where everyone is and what they're doing (not in a stalky way but in a "i need to know where you are so that if you don't come home i know where to look and report" kinda way). She loves them but she's terrified of becoming too close, she can't really lose someone like that again. Evelin is like Jonah but more downplayed. She's quieter about her care, she definitely likes when they all hang out as a group, even if she doesn't know Sarah that well. Adam, however caught up in his emo bullshit he is, takes immense comfort from the group being together. He can't exactly articulate what they mean to him, but deep down he's surprised and awed by the fact that there are people around him who genuinely care for his wellbeing. Of course, as the Alternate influence gets worse on him, this perspective is distorted, but I imagine once he regains consciousness after Catalyst, he's going to be a mess realizing how much he's hurt his friends.

Oh and finally orientations. I believe Adam is bi and somewhere on the aro/ace spectrum. Evelin is bi. Jonah and Sarah are the biggest gay/lesbian solidarity duo ever. I rest my case!

SO YEAH THAT WAS A LOT. I CARE THEM. A LOT. i apologize i think i got carried away asdghjasdhjk i really like talking about them asdghjk

HOOAOGUHGU I LOVE THESE

Evelin Jonah Adam friendship from a young age,,,oh I love that

Dave as the siblings' uncle aw I love that too

the three of them doing group therapy over adam's weirdness. god they've got some interesting coping mechanisms but I supposrt it

Sarah being a little bit protective because Trauma,,,so real. so true

SMART EVELIN. YES. ALWAYS

Jonah's the heart. again, always. he's just. yeah

Adam is just There but he's also like. the most ambitious I bet and yeah yeah yeah

Sarah and Jonah lesbian/gay solidarity YES. CORRECT. 100% CORRECT ALWAYS.

a-spec adam is so real.to me [<- relates to adam alot and is also a spec]

YEAH YOUR HEADCANONS ARE LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF MINE LMAO,,,imagine our slightly-different versions meeting that'd be so funny omg [kicking legs like a schoolgirl]

[amazing-spiderling]

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change? 🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with? 🪄what is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic?

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

I'm not sure if this means the style of the act of writing or the finished product, but I have a hard time identifying aspect of my own style (in writing or art) so I guess I'll answer it for the former.

I'm one of those people who "hears" voices when they are reading and writing. (At times, I would use the voices of VAs etc that I was familiar with and would sort of make my brain "narrate" them in my head as I read stories.) I didn't really think much of it until I started talking to other writers about their process and learned that dialogue didn't come easily to everyone. It usually does for me because that's how my brain organizes information, just an ongoing internal monologue- so when I think about how to create a scene, often the first thing I'm thinking about is either a conversation happening in the scene, or what a person might say out loud about it if they were alone. (This is part of why I struggle with the prose/describing settings and am often blown away by the visual imagery other people incorporate into their stories.)

I think this mindset of mine makes me approach writing a bit like a script writer? Not that I've ever written a script (except for comics), but my brain thinks of scenes in a story like I'm setting up a scene for a screen. So I'm certainly thinking about the way the characters sound, the flow of their dialogue, the beats between their words, the pauses, but I'm also very concerned with the way the prose sounds. When I'm editing, I often say things like "this line makes my brain hiccup" which just means, something about the way it sounds is bumpy and doesn't flow. It could be an awkward word choice, or phrasing, even a choppy sentence that could be better integrated elsewhere.

I don't know if this is evident in the finished product though. To my knowledge, nobody has ever mentioned it.

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

Ah, yeah. What a question. Even I overlooked the story I'm about to mention because other ones stuck out in my mind until I actually went to look.

Some years ago, I organized a Metal Gear anthology called "Lost Years" that paired artists and writers to create stories about the moments that happened between games. Stories that had been hinted at and alluded to in the game canon, but whose events we never see. It was a great project with SO much talent coming together and the stories that people produced were incredible.

For my part, I got to work on a topic dealing with the very difficult topic of CSA, an event that often gets played for laughs in some sides of the fandom (namely people who aren't doing the math and realizing the horror of the situation). It was for that reason that I wanted to do my due diligence and write the best story I could handling this topic, as well as creating a sense of underlying dread.

One of the things I did was write in present tense, which I hardly ever do- in order to make it seem like the events were unfolding in real time, with the main character unable to do anything about it. Everything is just happening to him and he's almost a spectator in his own life.

Also, I tried to take a page from Kojima's book- as a game creator, he is very influenced by movies, so I tried to think about what movies might have inspired this character dynamic, and some of the themes and visuals we do get in the game, and came away with "The Graduate", which I'd seen some years ago. It was an unsettling movie for me to see randomly on television one night (knowing nothing other than it was a "famous classic movie") but a lot of it stuck with me. I revisited the movie when I started writing this story, watching it as more of a study and singling out elements that I thought I could use to inform my own story and characterization.

The result was "Surface Tension" which comes in at a mere 3.7k and garnered a scant few comments, but it's a story I probably did the most "artistic research" for and I'm proud to have written.

🪄what is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic?

This is the one that's easiest for me to answer because it's something I consciously think about. XD After I post something (whether it's fic or art) I often make a joke like, "Never ask me for anything ever again." And while I am being silly, and of course I'm not done creating, it's also kind of a message to myself that it's okay for me to take a break and not worry about cranking out more stuff, and allowing myself to bask in the feeling of completing something for a few days. It's certainly a luxury since writing is my hobby and not my job, but I think it's easy to get wrapped up in the idea of being a "bad person" if you're not constantly making stuff every day.

I think this goes double for event fics where I've probably been stressing out about a deadline and doing something for another person. Basically just telling myself it's okay to take some time off to watch movies and read comics and enjoy "input" rather than "output" for a little while. :3

[motsimages]

I was thinking today of one of the students I had in my literacy class for deaf adults. This was some volunteering I did at a local deaf people association for 6 months but I would have loved to work with them for years.

It was a difficult group in that they all had virtually no reading-writing skills other than knowing some letters and words but each one of them had their own very different knowledge of basic math and sign language and communication. There were 7 of them and ages went from 30-is to 70-ish, with three students having other disabilities on top of deafness, including intellectual disabilities and three of them not being native speakers of Spanish sign language. Two of them had very little knowledge of any sign language whatsoever.

This student, let's call him Pepe, was one of the two 70 year-old men of the group. Him and his friend, let's call him Paco, were always together. Paco would help him with anything and everything, making sure he understood stuff because here is the thing about Pepe: I wasn't sure how much language he actually had. Not sign language, any language. It was like he had missed his train of language acquisition before he got sent to a deaf school and then he managed to communicate well enough to pretend but never really fully developped any real language skills.

Given that he was 70 and he had managed to not only survive but actually live more or less ok, he was EXCELLENT at copying people. He looked like he was following the conversation, it seemed like he understood instructions but it was just an amazing overcompensation for the fact that he barely knew sign language and so he barely understood or could say things. Also, Paco was frequently there to make sure to fill in the gaps. If you weren't in a position of, let's say, try to make him understand the concept of adding things, you would think he was shy and not very talkative.

The fact that Paco always helped Pepe made my job harder at times because it took me weeks to see what Pepe's level really was, to tell what he really was understanding from what I said and what he was copying or what Paco had explained to him.

He, unlike some of his classmates, had very little knowledge of math to the point that I wasn't sure he could count. He either copied from Paco or Paco solved his math for him, so I had to take him apart to test him and I had to ask Paco to stop helping him (and explained why, "because otherwise he won't learn").

The way I taught them math was with buttons. I bought a lot of buttons and gave them a bunch of them and had them counting buttons and adding them so that they could physically see and touch the math. So I tried with him, and it didn't reach. He kind of tried to copy what I did but it was more playing with buttons. He hid his frustration very well because he was happy that I was trying but it was still noticeable. I tried with drawings, with silly games for children, with fingers... He didn't seem to understand.

I decided to try a different approach one day. We were in a room that belonged to the association and was next to the bar at a time when nobody came. So I took him out to the bar and I showed him the chairs. I thought maybe if it was something more from everyday life, something bigger, it would be easier for him to understand that if you take 4 chairs from this table and 4 chairs from this other table, you end up with 8 chairs.

So I took him out and made him count the chairs in 3 tables. And he said "4, 4, 4" with just one look at the setting. And then I said "great! And now, let's count all of the chairs". I just wanted to count before I tried math because I wasn't even sure if he could count to 20 at this point. And before he counted, without even looking, he said "4, 4, 4. 12". I was astonished.

This man who hadn't been able to do simple additions without help, that I wasn't sure could count to more than 10, had just pulled a multiplication like that. He saw my surprise and my excitement but looked at me like "what a silly thing to do, clearly three tables with four chairs each is twelve chairs".

I celebrated his success and I brought him back to the buttons, I told him that 4+4+4 was 12, and so 4+4 was 8. I kept explaining this with the chairs and the buttons and fingers and writing numbers. And his eyes shined! He understood what I was asking of him. He understood what I had been trying to make him do. He knew that he didn't know how to do that before but that there was a way to do it.

So I gave him a list of simple additions and tried with him. 2+3, 4+1, 6+3... And we did it with buttons and he was so happy. Sometimes he still struggled or copied from Paco, but he knew what the exercise was now and he could actually solve it on his own, and he was so happy whenever he did it. He looked at me to check and was very proud whenever his math was right.

[srjlvr]

YOURS, CLASS PREZ !! // The show must go on.

Warning: ITS A LONG AF EP IM SO SORRY OMG

Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. As Jay dragged Sunoo with him to the competition that is about to happen, Sunoo tried to fix his breathing due to an almost—panic attack.

Why would he actually confess to yn, right now, a few minutes before she’s up to compete and represent her whole school? Because her brother Jay, ‘forced him.’

To say at least—Jay was trying to do his best, ever since the incident happened—that shall not be reminded—Jay had guilt feeling that was honestly eating him up. If he got the chance to help his younger sister, he would take the opportunity—without blinking twice.

He may make Sunoo even more stressed than he should be, but he has his good intentions and the last thing he wants is to create more drama—oh how wrong it was of him to stress Sunoo about confessing to yn in the very last minute.

It was stressful and chaotic. As soon as they got in the auditorium, all they could hear was students blabbering and solving maths questions while using their hands aggressively. It made the situation even more stressful than it already was for Sunoo.

“Yn!!” Jay held his hand up in meaning to find his sister. When she signaled him back with holding her hand up as well, Jay patted Sunoo shoulder and nodded, “You can do this, Kim Sunoo”

Inhale, you can do it, exhale, there’s nothing to be scared of, inhale, she likes you back, exhale, mentally prepare yourself. Step by step, breath by breath, Sunoo made his way to you with his closed eyes, too stressed to even look at the other students.

“O-oh Sunoo! Didn’t know you’d be here! Are you here to support us?” You winked and looked at Jungwon that was standing behind you. “Mhhm, hey yn can i take you out of this auditorium? I need to tell you something—It’ll be fast i promise!” He took your hand and dragged you out after you gave him a worried nod.

“Alright, so—“ “Are you okay Sunoo—“ “Yes i’m okay, i’ll just say it fast so don’t cut me off” Inhale, “I talked with Jungwon some time ago and i asked him if you perhaps like me because i was really interested and he said that you dont like me and you only see me as nothing but a friend but—“ “Wait.”

“I know you said not to cut you off but, jungwon told you i don’t like you? And said that i see you as nothing but a friend?” Your eyes widened, “Well, yeah but what i’m trying to say is—“ “I’m sorry to cut you off again Sunoo, but i have some answers i need to get” You felt your blood boiling, too angry at the top student for making your love life so difficult. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?” You gave him a small smile before turning it into a death glare while walking away.

You were too pissed off to notice the poor guy that tried so hardly to confess and even kind of—hinted you about his liking towards you in his words.

“Yang Jungwon!” You shout. The auditorium that was filled with chaos and shouts, suddenly became silent. Everyone looked at you like you were some kind of a weirdo entering the auditorium, crazily looking for someone.

When you caught him in your eyes, you instantly ran up to him and dragged him out together with you, not caring about the competition that was starting right around the corner.

“You, you ruined my chance to get with someone i’ve been crushing on you ruined everything! Telling me you’re going to help me get him but then stabbing my back? ‘I see him as nothing but a friend’ who are you to fucking decide whoever i like? You knew damn well i had feelings for him yet you lied, i fucking hate you!” You rolled your eyes in disbelief, “Why the fuck are you not saying anything? At least we won’t have to wait to do a fake breakup because there’s no chance im getting anywhere closer to you now”

After you left, Jungwon finally broke down. Tear by tear left his eyes. At first, he wasn’t so sure what made him lie—it was a great opportunity to let you and Sunoo finally get together, but something stopped him. Something in him wanted to keep you to himself, he was afraid to let you go. He was too stupid to understand what that feeling was, he has matured now and finally realized he was having hard feelings for you.

He knew confessing to you would be stupid, especially when he knew that your heart belonged to someone else. So he kept playing the game, hoping that something would change your mind.

After breaking down and crying on the ground alone for a few moments, he wiped his tears—not wanting to make anyone wonder what happened—and went back to the auditorium. The show must go on, even if you feel like crying until you don’t feel the pain anymore.

NOTES: i am SO sorry for this long ep um i didnt think it would be that long— ANYWAY POOR JUNGWON he fucked up but hello this kis is in love💔 ALSO POOR SUNOO GN ALL HE WANTED WAS TO COMFESS— ohoh also!! there’s a little hint for yn’s current feelings, if you read well then you might find it!!

TAGLIST (is open!): @enhacolor @luvryuj1n @deafeningballoonnacho @lovienikitty @notrosemary @fairycheol @harperwasstaken1 @icywhatim @lil-iva @love-4-keum @anotherimaginesaccount @i4cho @nakolvr @tlnyjoong @hiqhkey @theboyzrightherex @pr0dbeomgyu @randomness7198 @shyugahh @wonamore @jayeonnature @rrvvby @butterflyy-ningg @brokeprimogems @ritsusakumasgf @yerilv @rionah @hyeunfae @hoonieswrld @wonhrs @jiawji @tomorrowbymoa-together @cupidrwm @acaisahi @she-is-dreaming @kange3939 ( if your tag’s bold it means i couldnt tag you, im sorry. )

SYNOPSIS: In which the school’s top students, also known as the biggest class presidents of their own class and rivals, has to work on a huge project for their school and compete in a national competition……all together?!?

☆ ★ // previous — m.list — next

[vintaeya]

The probability of falling for you is 100% ♡

— genshin impact charas x gn! reader

|| Due to your grades dropping in Math, your teacher assigned you to a tuition class with some other students. There, you took back some knowledge and a hand in yours ||

pairing : diluc, xiao, thoma x gn! reader

genre : fluff, slight crack

tw : cursing

words : 1.6k

Diluc Ragnvindr - 6ft tall and super smart

•Diluc Ragnvindr..in a tutor class??

•You’re sure you blinked twice or thrice when you saw his face in there

•How? What? Huh??

•There was no way the most eligible bachelor in class was a Math flunk

Diluc was almost constantly busy, being the heir to a wine industry as the sole true bloodline to take the spot after his father passed in a terrible incident. Shut off from everyone else, he still excelled in everything from studies, sports and captivating everybody’s hearts. Something about him made your heart burn as if he was applying fire onto that poor muscle of yours.

Turns out, he wasn’t failing..technically.

• Diluc is probably the busiest student you’d ever meet

• He’s always somewhere off in a meeting during the day, library at night, and holding conferences at noon

• Because of his job, he barely had time for school. Skipping many days at a time and spending his weekends resting his ass off. Well deserved by the way.

• Anyway, due to all that, he missed out on quite the workload of homework and important classes. The tutor class he’s attending is just to help him catch up.

Diluc sat in front of you so you have a wonderful view of that silky red hair you could thread through for hours and never get tired of. The only time you’ve spoken to him was about difficult questions. His voice was enough to motivate you to listen to the entire class..or just keep you nice and distracted throughout the lesson because damn would he sound good calling you pet names such as “darling” or “baby”.

Diluc helped you in so many ways than one. Opening your door, carrying your books, etc. One time he was explaining a Math problem to you and for a slight moment, your thighs grazed one another. Your quiet gasp didn’t go unnoticed which made Diluc’s lips quirk into an amused smirk for a split second.

We must stay focused brothers, we must stay focused.

• “Hey..hey..”

• A voice rang through your head but you just sounded it out, too tired and lazy to acknowledge the presence of a certain redhead in front of you.

• The male sighed and removed the leather black coat he wore on a daily basis, wrapping it around your sleeping figure.

• He tucked strands of your hair away before leaving the room to leave you to rest.

You had to return the jacket the next day, but not before you wrapped it around you one final time. No, you never gave the jacket back. Why? Because when you tried, Diluc said words you’ve never expected him out of anyone to say.

“Don’t fall asleep in class, can’t you go a day without making me worry? Keep the jacket, it looks better on you anyway”

Xiao - Constantly absent in class but never from your mind

• Xiao Xiao adeptus Xiao call call out my name

• A mysterious student that never actually attends class for whatever reason

• Always has some headphones that he uses to tone out the teachers with

• Take it away from him? He has his airpods.

• Report him? He’d gladly take that 3 day suspension with a happy heart

You’ve seen Xiao as a troublemaker that skips class all day every day. Probably to do some graffiti or commit felonies. No. You were incredibly wrong.

You felt sick that day so you decided to take a sick note from the nurse and walked back home to catch some fresh air away from the stuffy classroom. What you didn’t expect was to see that familiar male with black hair and dyed green ends sitting near the railing of a bridge, calmly reading a book whilst occasionally feeding the ducks beneath him.

Xiao looked so ethereal. You swore your eyes became hearts when he licked his finger to flip the page. His sharp eyes must have sensed you because he lifted his gaze from the book. But you weren’t there, instead running down the street despite your lungs caving in because yeah, you were still sick.

Though, after seeing Xiao, you’re sure you can feel your immune system strengthening.

• Another student that constantly missed classes and thus had to take the class

• Apparently it wasn’t Xiao’s first time

• He sat beside you and practically never said anything. The most you received was a simple nod when you informed him the teacher assigned some extra work whilst he was sleeping in class

• Was it tiring reminding him of everything? Yes. Will you keep doing it because his raspy voice after waking up is hot as fuck? Also yes

Fortunately but unfortunately, Xiao stopped sleeping in class. He wasn’t paying attention at all but he did note down anything he had to do to pass the stupid class. You thought he was just hit with the sudden urge to become a more responsible student but..what you didn’t know was that he felt guilty for burdening you to be his little messenger.

• Despite not caring for Maths, Xiao was exceptionally good

• A little too good

• You wondered why he barely shows up because with his brain he would have been rivalring the top 1 in your class, Albedo Kreideprinz. They both may be short but their knowledge went heights you could never reach.

• When you questioned Xiao about why he never showed off or tried in class..he simply muttered something that burned itself into your brain.

“I don’t see the point”

“But Xiao! Everyone would praise you for this” You said as you lifted his amazing solve at a graduate level question. That curious and amazed look on your face single handedly gave Xiao the most motivation to study harder he had ever received in his entire life. A warm hue spread across his cheeks at your compliment, suddenly complied to answer your question.

“I don’t see the point of proving myself to anybody else but you”

Thoma - Makes you forget on finding your x without making you ever questioning y

• Thoma is way too good to be true

• Intelligent, hilarious, responsible, respectful and impeccably charming

• What was a man such as himself doing in a remedial class?

• Turns out he was a teaching assistant to the class teacher, obviously.

• He decided to attend classes himself to review some topics that he didn’t understand in class.

• Let me just say that he wears these cute round glasses while reading and they make his nose and cheeks look so cute aaaa

Thoma is the human embodiment of the term “golden retriever boyfriend”. When you see him in the hallways, 90% of the time he is carrying books for classmates and teachers, chatting to janitors, helping cafeteria workers with the lunch trays. Every student had what’s called a Thoma “era” which is when they had a crush on him one way or another. What can I say? He’s one for the girls and the gays.

You thought he was being taken advantage of..but he enjoys helping others. He’s even helped you more times than you could count. Carrying your book bag, patting your head when you did a good job (something that never fails to make you blush and Thoma knows, he knows it all) and even…slip some cheat sheets and whisper answers into your ear that makes your heart go into convulsions.

• Has perfect attendance and above average grades.

• Of course he’s perfect.

• Out of everyone, he’s like your best friend who you could spill everything to

• Except your confessions about cheating on a test because he’d definitely be working you until your ass was numb (not in that sense you nasties).

• Thoma is a calm teacher. A fun trait he has is he can guess if you have a question in mind and asks the teacher for you. He’s sweet like that <3

Thoma is kind to everybody..but you don’t realize how kind he is to you. Guiding you by your hand when the stairs were just mopped, taking the side of the sidewalk closer to the street..he really does not do this to everybody. He just wished you’d see him more than just a friend..or even worse, a brother.

During lessons, Thoma would fight to the death with Diluc and Xiao for who gets to teach you during some difficult questions. 9/10 Thoma wins. Why? This man is amazing at convincing people. Plus, Diluc has meetings and Xiao would definitely want to head home right away because him meeting you after school for private lessons would be suspicious now wouldn’t it? How sad would it be if their little crushes were informed to you by a little bird.

• Thoma does this thing during lessons where he leans closer to you while explaining.

• He guides your hands to show you how things are done, often including his lips being inches away from your ear

• Your face resembled sunsettias

• Every day you thank yourself for your 60 average in Math because you get this hot, blonde and gorgeous man tutoring you all weekday and if you’re lucky enough…weekends included.

“Isn’t it tiring to be a teaching assistant and helping every soul that breathes?” You asked, exasperated after hearing about Thoma’s day to day routine. “I would have quit the whole assistant thing if I were you” You complained despite it not being your problem.

He simply laughed, resting his chin on the palm of his hand as he looked at you so lovingly. Thoma shook his head and leaned back on his chair, staring at the beautiful person beside him as they focused on their word problem, nose scrunching adorably to the point Thoma wanted to make it his new religion.

“Why would I quit, when I receive the best reward for my hard work whenever I come into this classroom to see you there?”

note : first work yay! hope ya’ll like this one :3

[star-mum]

Good fucking morning lovelies, guESS WHO WOKE UP TO GREAT NOTIFICATIONS ON HER PHONE ?????

I'm very excited to read this but it's also 6am so excuse me for any comments that are too weird (or just don't make sense at all)

Starting off with a GORGEOUS COVER !!!!!! I loooove fic covers sm (and both of the spence pics chosen are just scrumptious 😋)

"But that's how the math works out" 😔 not math, again 😔

"A patient killer with an extended timeline who likely wouldn’t kill again for months" that's always so great for us 🫠

"Protecting the children is just a byproduct of his obsession over these women" hooraayy 🙃

"dozen stab wounds to their stomachs and genital areas." yeah uhm I don't feel really sAFE RIGHT NOW !!!!

"white carnations" i don't know a lot about flowers but these feel like a gravestone type of flower

HGTVs website: "When given on Mother's Day, they also are said to bring a mother good luck" DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FLOWERS ????? OR DID YOU LOOK THIS UP ??? WHAT !!!! WHAT !!!

okay i figured out why I got death vibes from them, it's cause they look A LOT like the flowers in Promised Neverland (i refuse to give out any more context)

"It’s not uncommon for killers to emotionally fetishize dead bodies and consider them more ‘pure’ than their living counterparts.” welcome to the stage Dr Reid !!!

“Yeah, but preschools typically have large waitlists.” i mean... not be an asshole but some of you bitches are really dumb (ik Plot but Pen would've checked that the moment they asked about preschools !!!!) (well... early seasons Pen) (the further we go the more they seem to just use her as a sentient computer and less of relying on her smarts as a whole) (tHis IS NOT THE TIME FOR THIS !!!)

"Oh, my Adonis, if I don’t have your trembling anticipation, I have nothing" I have nothing if not time for these two and their antics

"typical survey schlock,” love having my data stolen and sold for profit "The ‘optional’ part of the forms is sold off to other companies" yEP YEAH THERE WE GO

"and some even larger threats of being detained for impeding an FBI investigation" delicious (in my minds eye this came mostly from Emily and Hotch)

"easily became quiet in Spencer’s ears when he saw it." lets fucking goooooo ga(y)mersssss

"What the hell were you doing applying for preschools?" 😚 guess 😚

"It wasn’t difficult math" FOR YOU !!!!!

"Maybe you had cheated on him" woooowwwww you're counting the days we've been apart for and tHIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY ? WOOOOWWWWW

"Spencer still wasn’t even completely sure what had caused it" now we both know that's not true, Brain Blast

"on the current field team" sunny your words are hurtful

"having you, Elle, and Gideon leave his life all in a matter of a few months felt like hell on earth" suNNY YOUR WORDS ARE HURTFUL !!!!!

“I could not imagine little twenty-four year old Spence with a baby.” I can 🫣

"That was not something JJ had considered" ??? not everyone (looks pointedly at Will) enjoys getting cucked, JJ

"He was glad to already see signs that you were a good mother" just because you parented yourself dOES NOT MEAN I WANT PARENTING TIPS FROM YOU BITCH BOY !!!!

(for anyone reading this for the first time, I know more of what actually happened so that's why Im so aggro at Spencer) (im yn she is me, I will take her grievances as my own)

"Because of course, she could get your new address in a heartbeat" awwnn Pen, creepy <3

"The first night that he knew he was in love with you" yaaaay we get to be happy !!!!

"Virginia Symphony Orchestra" the song Cecily Smith will not begin to play on loop for this entire section :3

"You know, Bach actually married his cousin" 🙃 why must every historical figure dabble in some weird shit 🙃

"They had the same surname before marriage.” noooooooo that's the worst possible option

"Why don’t people play the organ anymore?" follow up question: why are they called organs ? weird name for a regular thing (like a big ass piano right?) in multiple different languages

"Bach a sort of ‘rockstar’ of his time." baby Spencer you are everything to me

"“Yes!” Spencer grinned, suddenly very excited by the explanation behind this" 😩😩😩 he's my favorite guy ever

"being around Spencer for such short periods of time caused you to learn so many things" the power a Knows Everything And Info Dumps Constantly x Asks Random Questions All The Time couple has is indescribable

"the Duke actually had him arrested and put in jail for several weeks in 1716.” daaaamn jail for musician for a thousand years for cheating (i guess)

"reach out and grab Spencer by his tie - you pulled him toward you" YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHH !!!!! Literally every single person in this fandom cheered

"Spencer let out a gentle moan" >:3

"He had no clue where it all went so wrong" I still don't fucking buy that okay? like he has NO IDEA ???? EIDETIC MEMORY AND HE HAS NO IDEA ????? I think Spencer has repressed that night (and that over all storm of pain) so badly that he has truly not thought about it in detail for the past 4 years BUT !!! The moment he lets himself look back at it he will know exactly what he did/said (he's not stupid and he was aiming to hurt, he got what he wanted)

BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS OUTSTANDING NEVER THE SAME !!!! I loooove this series already, I'm even more excited about fridays from now on <33

Bonus - I read it on ao3 and I KNEW this would fucking happen (which is hilarious)

Careful - Chapter One

(Dad)Spencer Reid x (Mom)Fem!Reader

Chapter One: Over Yet

We can go farther, beyond the end.

Summary:

You and Spencer broke up more than four years ago. Since then, he has tried his best to forget about you. He has pushed all of his feelings down - locked them away into a little box that he never touches.

That is, until he sees your name on a list of potential victims being stalked and killed by a man who kills single mothers. (And he quickly realizes that your son could be his.)

Dad!Spencer Reid x Mom!Fem!Reader. Exes to Lovers. Angst.

Word Count: 5,900

Criminal Minds Masterlist | AO3 Link | Series Masterlist

Please keep in mind - I am not doing a taglist for this series, so please do not ask to be tagged in future parts. I do not do taglists. If you want to be notified when future parts of this fic are posted, you can follow this blog and turn on notifications here - I don't make personal posts on this blog, it is just pure posts of my fanfiction. Or you can subcribe on AO3 to get email notifications when this series is posted. You can also view the posting schedule on the series materlist and check @tenpintsof-sundrop for any information about possible changes to that schedule.

Detailed warnings and author's notes below the cut.

Warnings: general warnings for a Criminal Minds episode - mentions of murder/killing, somewhat graphic descriptions of killing, somewhat graphic descriptions of dead bodies, the underlying misogyny that comes with a man killing women, mentions of children being orphaned due to their mothers being killed (though there is no mentions of other living family members taking care of those children - you can imaging that they still have nice families to take care of them if you want, I didn’t fill in that detail), mentions of children being in proximity of a serial killer; exes to lovers - the reader and Spencer broke up and the reason why will be revealed later; mentions of pregnancy/mentions of the reader having a child; mentions of sex that resulted in a child/pregnancy (there is no detailed sex scenes/detailed smut in this chapter, but there will be in other chapters); mentions of JJ x Will; the reader’s looks are described as vaguely as possible; passing mention of incest (in the context of a historical figure); all statements that Spencer makes toward the end of this chapter were heavily researched and are factual; I think that’s about it?

A/N: The reader and Spencer originally dated around Season 1/Season 2 - I state at some point during the fic that they dated for 3 years before breaking up, so they started dating when he was very early Season 1 baby Spence (or even before Season 1) and they broke up around Season 2. So technically this fic takes place around Season 6 - but because I didn't want to distract from the plot, I didn't mention any of the stuff going on with Emily or any of those major canon plot points, and I am using pictures of later versions of Spencer just because that's who I was picturing in my head while writing this. But that's how the math works out. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the fic!! This chapter is more of an introduction before we really get into the meat of things, but I still hope that you guys like it.

...

The team had been in Portland for three days.

No leads, a confusing, inconsistent profile - huge pieces missing that would likely give them the real answers. 

A patient killer with an extended timeline who likely wouldn’t kill again for months - leaving them chasing their tails, looking for answers. 

“Okay, so, let’s take a step back.” Hotch sighed. “What do we know so far?” 

He leaned against a nearby table, looking at everyone with the hope of reassessing the case from a different angle. The hope of talking it out to get some answers. 

Another woman’s body had been found just before they arrived, and that would mean that the UnSub would be out hunting again soon. This was both good and bad. 

Good, because the UnSub clearly had to spend a lot of time stalking his victims - he knew a lot of details of their lives, and he had spent a lot of time developing an intimate fantasy of being a part of their family in his mind. So he wouldn’t be killing again the next day. No woman was in immediate danger. It gave the team more time to find viable suspects. 

Bad because they had no physical evidence, no good leads. And thus far, the profile was leading them nowhere. It felt incomplete. 

They could find no real connections between the victims - their gyms, their banks, their childcare, their grocery stores. Somehow, the victims didn’t seem to have any crossover in their lives. There was no real way to say how the UnSub had met them. And someone like this - he would have interacted with them at least once in order to become obsessed and stalk them to this degree. 

“Five women dead within the last three years.” Prentiss announced, starting to round up the facts that the team knew for certain. “All of them mothers, all with children under the age of five. All within the same ten square mile radius of Oregon, around Portland’s suburban neighborhoods.” 

She slumped back into her chair with a tired huff, and then continued. 

“The UnSub breaks into their homes through a backdoor or a back window, and somehow goes undetected in such an upscale neighborhood.” She sighed. “He kills the mothers, but he leaves their children alive. And then he calls 9-1-1 to report the death as a case of child neglect.” 

“So he was likely neglected by his own mother in his childhood.” Morgan easily theorized. 

“All of the victims upper-middle class, single mothers to one child with good jobs. All of them are of the same physical type.” Rossi added on. “They’re the same race, they have the hair color, they’re the same body type - all in their late twenties to early thirties. So the UnSub definitely has a type. He’s most definitely recreating a fantasy of some kind - perhaps taking out revenge on his own mother, but protecting himself. Which is why he never hurts the children.” 

“Yeah, but the children are different.” Morgan replied. “Sometimes boys, sometimes girls. Some of them are biracial - he doesn’t look for a specific type in the father. He doesn’t necessarily need to see himself in the children.” 

Then, as another thought occurred to him, Morgan continued on: 

“Plus, the children’s ages vary from barely a year old all the way up to five - if he was looking to seek revenge on his mother, looking to protect a younger version of himself, then he would have locked in on a critical event that he needs to protect himself from. The age of the children would be more consistent, at least, because he would be looking to protect himself as he hits the age that he was most traumatized by a specific event.” 

“That’s good.” Hotch nodded. “Then we know that it’s more about the mothers. He hates women at his core. Protecting the children is just a byproduct of his obsession over these women.” 

“But we still have no clue how these women could be connected or how they met the UnSub.” Morgan replied, jaw stiff with frustration. 

“Focus on what we do know.” Hotch reminded him. 

“All of the women were killed via stabbing. They all had over a dozen stab wounds to their stomachs and genital areas.” Rossi replied. “So, he is an aggressive sexual sadist.” 

“But if he hates women so much, why spend so much time in the house?” Morgan argued gently. “Every single one of these scenes has evidence that the UnSub spent hours - possibly up to a day in the house before he killed them. He cooked dinner, set the table, and made the women eat it before he killed them. Including a second place setting for a child. Some of the kids even said that ‘the scary man’ tucked them into bed and read them a story.” 

He held up one of the crime scene photos that depicted the scene of the family’s place settings - a haunting scene of plates not cleaned up from dinner, with a flower vase sitting in the middle of the table with a few white flowers wilting inside of it. 

“He’s right - why bother to show them the kindness of a last meal if he shows so much aggression toward them during the killing?” Prentiss added on. 

“It’s a routine.” Hotch said, the thought suddenly occurring to him. “It’s likely that he chooses single mothers because he gets to play the role of the father. With the real father figure absent from the picture, it makes it easier for him to impose himself into that role. At least for a temporary amount of time.” 

“It is strange.” Reid added on, clearly swimming in thought. “It’s almost like he’s courting them? Sending them gifts, showing what a good father he could be. Each of the women were sent white carnations sometime in the days before they were killed, and after the killing, he lays the flowers around their head in a halo-like fashion. It is said that carnations represent motherhood, and the white shade could depict an angelic innocence that he’s projecting onto these women.” 

“So he views these women as angelic figures, yet he kills them so brutally?” Prentiss scoffed. “It just doesn’t add up.” 

“Maybe he views the killing itself as a type of purification.” Reid theorized. “It’s not uncommon for killers to emotionally fetishize dead bodies and consider them more ‘pure’ than their living counterparts.” 

Prentiss visibly cringed at this. 

“Wait.” JJ said, looking at one of the crime scene photos with a sharp line pulling her brows together. 

Everyone looked to her, waiting for her to finish this thought. 

“I don’t think that the mothers were the only ones sent gifts.” 

She held up the photo, showing a picture of a colorful child’s play mat in the living room. Everyone stared at the photo in confusion, and JJ sighed and began to explain. 

“Look at this toy truck in the middle.” She said, pointing at something that almost blended into the background of the photo. The true focus was a large handprint - one that belonged to the killer, but he had worn gloves. “It’s wooden, it’s hand-carved, it’s old fashioned. All the other toys are plastic, brightly coloured. Remember what the UnSub said in the second 9-1-1 call?” 

“‘She pretends to have her son’s best interests at heart, but she was going to let him get cancer from sucking on those cheap plastic toys.’” Reid said, repeating it word-for-word, using his impeccable memory. 

“Exactly.” JJ confirmed with a nod. “Clearly the UnSub believes that he would be a good father because he can gift his child something hand-made instead of something mass produced.” 

“Alright, get the crime scene techs back over there to pick up the truck, maybe he wasn’t wearing gloves when he made it and there is some slim chance he left a print on it.” Hotch said, and JJ left to call the crime scene unit. 

This left the team sitting in silence for a few more moments until Reid spoke up again. 

“What about preschools?” He said, suddenly coming out of a wave of thought to announce this to the room. 

“What?” Prentiss prompted, wondering what on earth he was talking about. 

“Preschools.” Spencer confirmed, looking across the table at her. 

“We checked already, none of the victims’ children went to the same preschool.” Morgan reminded him. “Two of the kids didn’t even go to preschool.” 

“Yeah, but preschools typically have large waitlists.” Spencer argued. 

Naturally, all eyes in the room fell on him, waiting for him to explain. 

“In the first 9-1-1 call, the UnSub said that the victim ‘shipped her son off to be cared for by strangers half the time’.” He explained, once again perfectly reciting this from memory. “What if the UnSub resents preschools and the schooling system for taking these children away from their mothers, so he’s choosing his victims off of a preschool waitlist? What if that’s where his obsession stems from because that’s where his rage stems from?” 

Reid jumped up, pointing to the map he had been using to make a geographical profile. 

“All of the victims live within the same school district.” He added on. “So they would be applying to the same group of preschools.” 

“I’ll call Garcia.” Morgan announced. 

A few minutes later, Morgan connected Garcia’s call to the comm on the center of the conference table they were working from. 

“Hey, pumpkin pies.” She greeted them sweetly, as usual. “So it turns out, the preschool that Tommy Laird, and Emily Ashton, the third and the fourth victim had in common, does have a waitlist. But none of the other victims’ names were on it.” 

“Come on, babygirl. I know you’re holding out on me.” Morgan said, giving a small smirk. 

“Oh, my Adonis, if I don’t have your trembling anticipation, I have nothing.” Garcia giggled. “The school’s waitlist, and their applications, are handled by a firm called Gordon & Stanheight. And it turns out, they handle the applications and waitlisting for five other preschools in the area.” 

“Which gives the UnSub a perfect way to pick his victims.” Morgan sighed. “The first interaction that gets him hooked might not even be in person-” 

“Unless he’s picking them out of the line-up on paper and then waiting to meet them in person?” Prentiss replied. “With this type of guy, the smallest smile, a nod in his direction - that could be consent in his mind to play father to a household that’s missing one.” 

“You said they handle forms for five different schools? That just widened the victim pool.” Rossi groaned. 

“And the suspect pool.” Garcia added on. “The firm has thirty male employees. And I did a bit more digging - the preschool applications have ten ‘optional’ questions on the bottom that are definitely not marked as such. Questions directed at the parent filling out the form, rather than vital information about the child. Things such as: ‘what’s your favorite food?’, ‘when is your birthday?’, ‘what’s your favorite color?’, ‘do you plan on having more children?’ - typical survey schlock,” 

“That would explain why the UnSub served Lisa Laird a birthday cake.” Reid sighed. “He knew it was her birthday two days before he killed her.”

“I have a feeling I’m not gonna like where this is going.” Emily sighed. 

“Oh, sugar. You probably won’t.” Penelope easily agreed. “The ‘optional’ part of the forms is sold off to other companies as survey data. And those forms are seen and handled by over a thousand male employees of Gordon & Stanheight’s larger ‘data processing’ sector.” 

“Well the UnSub has to be local to Portland. So narrow down the suspect list based on his last known address and go from there.” Hotch said. “Also, it would be someone who has a criminal record. Someone committing this level of violence wouldn’t be a first time offender.” 

“Gotcha.” Penelope said. “Penny G, out.” 

… 

The team ended up raiding Gordon & Stanheight’s Portland based office. 

After some pointless conversation, some threats of lawsuits, and some even larger threats of being detained for impeding an FBI investigation, the team was able to get their hands on the preschool applications. Over two-dozen boxes worth, that they would have to sort through. 

So this left JJ, Reid, Hotch, Rossi, Morgan, and Prentiss knee deep in paper, looking for anyone who fit the UnSub’s victimology - praying that they would be able to pick out the next victim and get to her before the UnSub did. 

“We’re never gonna get through these fast enough, are we?” Prentiss sighed, continuing to sift through the papers. 

“We just have to go as fast as we can, and hope the UnSub sticks to his schedule.” Morgan replied. “He has to spend time stalking them, learning their routine. Even if he has chosen his victim by now, he won’t break into the house until he’s fully confident that he won’t be disrupted.” 

“And the stalking helps build up the fantasy.” Reid added on. “He romanticizes them from afar, sends them gifts. It adds to his delusions of grandeur and forbidden love. The idea that he’s swooping in to become the perfect father figure for these ‘broken’ families.” 

“So we’re hanging all our hopes on the idea that this psychopath needs time to ‘fall in love’ with his next victim before he kills her?” Prentiss groaned. 

“Sadly, yes.” Rossi confirmed. 

“It helps that most of these applications are from two-parent households.” JJ pointed out. “We can throw out anything with a second applicant on the form, because he’s only targeting single mothers.” 

The rest of the conversation easily became quiet in Spencer’s ears when he saw it. 

It should have been just another page among the sea of paper in his hands, but when he saw those words on the page - that name - it was like a punch to the gut. It pushed all the air out of him in seconds, it made him dizzy, made him struggle to breathe. Like a reel flashing through his mind, it brought back a flood of memories he thought he had locked away forever. 

It was you. 

What the hell were you doing applying for preschools? 

Spencer rushed to tear this paper away from the others in order to read it more carefully. 

Surely enough, the application was filled out in your handwriting. Something that had barely changed over the years. And it was all right there, laid out in front of his eyes, clear as day - 

You had a son. 

A son named Sebastian, who was three years old. Spencer checked the date on the form, eagerly looking for a birth date for your son. His birthday had just recently passed, actually, so he was four years old now. 

And his birth date was… fuck. 

He had been born eight and a half months, almost nine months exactly after the two of you had broken up. Your son had been born eight and a half months after the day you had left and Spencer had never seen you again. 

One thousand, seven hundred and two days. 

Four years, eight months, and two days. 

It wasn’t difficult math. 

Your son was the perfect age to be Spencer’s child. Was this Spencer’s child? 

His hands began to shake at the very thought of it.  

Is that why you had disappeared from his life with such haste? Because you knew that you were pregnant and you didn’t want Spencer to be a part of your child’s life? 

Had you been keeping this from him intentionally? 

He hadn’t thought about you in four long years, he had tried so hard not to. He had spent so long forcing himself not to miss you, and now he was struck with the realization that he might have a child out there with the woman he considered to be his regrettable lost love. A child he didn’t know - a child who he had missed four whole years with. 

What the fuck was going on? 

There were no pictures included with the application, and suddenly, Spencer found himself dying to see the boy. He wanted to know if there was any physical resemblance to himself, or if he was jumping to conclusions. 

Maybe you had cheated on him. Maybe that was why you had left town and never contacted him again. Maybe the kid wasn’t his at all, maybe- 

“Reid.” JJ called out gently, getting his attention. 

Spencer suddenly realized that he was hyperventilating, staring down at the application with your name on it in his hand, wrinkling the paper as he squeezed it more frantically. 

“Did you find something?” 

… 

All in all, the team found four different women who fit the victim pattern in the files - you being one of them. 

So the team split up, ready to knock on each of the womens’ doors, preparing to warn them that if they received any gifts or saw any suspicious men lingering around them in the next few days, they should call. They had to hope that the UnSub wouldn’t move on from this victim pool if he saw the FBI around. But he was overly confident, he had contacted police before. 

It could definitely work. 

When Hotch found out that Spencer had known you, he said that Spencer should be the one to knock on your door. That you might find it comforting to hear that you and your child could possibly be in danger if it were coming from ‘an old friend’. Spencer stuttered over himself and didn’t have the words to explain that you weren’t just a good friend to him, but a romantic flame. He didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of the team by telling everyone that the break-up had been messy, and sudden, and Spencer still wasn’t even completely sure what had caused it. He didn’t want to rip open his old wounds in front of everyone. 

So he simply shut his mouth and got in the car with JJ, and they made their way toward your house. 

…

“So…” JJ’s voice broke through the undulating silence of the car ride - filled by nothing but the sound of the car’s motor running and gears grinding inside Spencer’s mind as he tried to figure all of this out. “I do have to ask the obvious question,” 

“What is that?” Spencer probed, slightly glad to be relieved of his own thoughts. 

He wasn’t so glad when JJ pried those thoughts out of his mind and spilled them to the open air. 

“Is the kid yours?” She wondered aloud. “I mean - when did you and Y/N break up?” 

JJ had known you as Spencer’s girlfriend. 

Come to think of it, she was probably the only person on the current field team who had some kind of a relationship with you back when you and Spencer dated. 

Initially, it had been by accident. JJ had driven him home one night after a particularly long and sleepless case, and you had been coming to his apartment to drop off some books he had asked for (shortly after he had given you a key). When JJ saw you, her natural curiosity got the better of her - even more so when you stuck out your hand and introduced yourself as ‘Spencer’s girlfriend’ without hesitation. 

The two of you got to talking, and JJ invited you to ‘girls night’. You met Elle and Penelope shortly after. You had become pretty good friends with the three of them before the break-up. 

But Spencer had always felt secretive…. well, protective of you. He didn’t want Morgan teasing him about you, or him wanting to have ‘guy talk’ about things that occurred in the bedroom. Not when it might mean talking about intimate moments with you. Spencer had only introduced you to Gideon over coffee about three weeks before the break-up, and that felt like a lifetime ago. 

Back then, having you, Elle, and Gideon leave his life all in a matter of a few months felt like hell on earth. It felt like being grabbed by his ankles and shaken for all he was worth. He really wasn’t sure that he was ready to see you again. 

It had been four years. 

JJ was someone he could lean on right now. 

“Four years ago.” He told her, completely honest. 

“And how old is the kid?” JJ asked. 

“Four - four years old.” Spencer stuttered out, realizing that now as he was speaking about this very real possibility, he might be breathing more life into it. 

“Oh my god.” JJ sighed. “Well… could it-? I mean…? Did the two of you?” 

It took Spencer a moment to clue into what JJ was talking about. He gave her a sideways glance and she took her eyes off the road for a moment, raising her brows and giving him a pointed look. 

“Please tell me you know what does and what doesn’t make a baby,” JJ groaned. 

“Oh!” Spencer huffed, a small wave of embarrassment flooding him. “Yes! God, yes. I know.” 

There was a moment of awkward silence, and then Spencer felt the need to clarify his answer. 

“We - I mean. We…” He trailed off for a moment, clearing his throat. “We didn’t always use… protection. We were together for three years, at the time, it was on the table.” 

“Kids were on the table for you back then?” JJ asked, clearly shocked by this. “I could not imagine little twenty-four year old Spence with a baby.” 

“Well… it’s something I’ve always wanted.” He mumbled quietly in reply. 

It was true. At the time, Spencer easily imagined himself getting married to you, having multiple kids with you. These days, seeing JJ with Henry and Will brought him the occasional underlying pang of jealousy - but since breaking up with you, there hadn’t been anyone else in Spencer’s life that he could have imagined having kids with. He thought that he was going to be alone and childless for the rest of his life. That the dream was long dead for him. 

“Hey - then, maybe this is a blessing in disguise?” JJ posed. “If we hadn’t been looking through those forms because of this UnSub, you never would have found Y/N again. You wouldn’t even know this baby exists.” 

There was another thing that JJ was dying to ask - something she held back because she felt like it was a touch too personal. (Even if ‘too personal’ was basically how the BAU team lived - knee deep in each other’s business, all the time). 

She wanted to know why you had a baby, a baby that Spencer had very likely fathered, and you hadn’t contacted him about it. Spencer seemed entirely clueless about the child’s existence before now, and JJ knew that because of what his own father had been like, he wouldn’t just blow off a kid that was his if he knew that one was out there in the world. 

So why hadn’t you told Spencer about the baby? 

“What if the kid isn’t yours?” JJ wondered aloud. 

Maybe that would unburden him. She knew that either way, Spencer would fight to protect you from the UnSub. But if the kid wasn’t his - he would walk away again, and he wouldn’t have to be hung up on the heartbreak of dealing with his ex just to parent a child together. 

“Honestly… I think I’ll be more heartbroken if I find out that he’s not even mine.” Spencer told her, his voice quiet and already lulling with that disappointment. 

That was not something JJ had considered. She frowned as she saw the sadness paint across Spencer’s face. 

“One thing at a time, alright?” 

…

When they pulled into your driveway, Spencer’s mind immediately began churning. 

It was a nice house. It was a beautiful, quiet neighborhood. The front yard was clean and trimmed and there was a silver SUV in the driveway with a ‘baby on board’ sticker in the rear window. There was a rocking chair on the porch, but he didn’t see many children’s toys out front on the lawn. He guessed that was a good thing. Letting children play in the front where they could run into the street and potentially get hit by a car was too dangerous. He was glad to already see signs that you were a good mother. 

Spencer felt like he was opening up a book halfway, desperately wanting to be filled in on the previous chapters while having missed so much. Still wanting to read ahead and see more. 

He had already missed so much of your son’s life. He had missed you. That was something forming the biggest knot in his gut. He had truly missed you. The times he had allowed himself to think of you over these past few years - he had missed you so dearly. 

And now the two of you likely had a child together. 

Craning his neck to get a better look, desperately trying to take in more information, Spencer’s eyes were wide and hungry as JJ put the car in park by the curb in front of your house. As Spencer reached for the passenger side door handle, JJ’s phone rang. 

“I have to take this.” She sighed. “You go ahead.” 

She gave Spencer a distinct look that said ‘I know you need a minute alone with Y/N’, and he nodded, stepping out of the vehicle while she greeted whoever was on the other line. He smoothed down his tie - for once in his whole life, he was actually worried about how he looked. Only because he knew that he was going to see you. Perhaps he had only ever felt like this before going on his first date with you. 

He had such a strange lashing of emotions going through him as he approached the door. Fear, anxiety, anticipation. Longing. 

He truly had tried so hard to lock away his feelings for you when you had left. He had tried to move on. He had considered, briefly, in passing, dating other women. There had been times when someone else caught his eye, and he considered asking her out on a date. Morgan had offered to ‘set him up’. Penelope had offered too, telling him that he deserved to ‘get back out there’. 

Whenever she asked about you, his heart freshly cracked open. 

At one point, she had advised him to write a long, Shakespearian letter, pouring out his heart to you in an effort to get you back - one which she would mail. (Because of course, she could get your new address in a heartbeat.) But he didn’t want to experience the heartbreak all over again if you ignored him. He didn’t want to sit, waiting by the mailbox every single day like a lost dog, waiting for you to write him back in return. 

You had disappeared from his life for a reason. Just like everyone else had. For a long time, Spencer convinced himself that he was simply meant to end up alone. 

Perhaps if he had known about your son - a child that could very well be his - then he might have felt differently about getting Penelope to contact you. 

But now he was standing at your front door, his fist shaking as he raised his hand to knock. 

He let out a sharp breath and steadied himself, giving three swift, firm knocks against the door and then trying to wait patiently. His heart thumped inside of his throat, and it felt like forever. 

“Sorry!” Your voice called out from behind the door, muffled. “Sorry, I almost didn’t hear you. I was-” 

You cut off your own words as you opened the door - the moment you caught Spencer’s eye and recognized it was him, pure shock fell across your features, and you froze on the spot. 

You were just as stunning as ever. You had barely aged at all - your hair was different than the last time he had seen you, of course. And you were dressed casually - wearing a simple hooded sweatshirt with a drawstring and a pair of jeans with some fuzzy slipper boots on. But pale blue looked so good on you.

So much like the pale blue dress you had worn on your first date with him. 

You were breath-taking. 

“Y/N.” He greeted you, his throat dry already. 

You didn’t say anything, simply continuing to stare him down with wide-eyed shock. 

Seeing you again, Spencer couldn’t help but to think back to that first date. 

The first night that he knew he was in love with you. 

… 

He had taken you to see the Virginia Symphony Orchestra. 

It was Spencer’s idea of a good time - and it ended up being one of the most beautiful, most romantic, most unique first dates that you had ever been on. 

It was difficult not to fall for him with the beautiful music in the air and his glossy eyes, so sickeningly thick with affection, staring you down all night. 

Afterwards, the two of you stopped to get ice cream at a small shop that was a short walk down from the orchestra. And now you were both enjoying your ice cream as you walked along in the cool night air - enjoying the peace and quiet and the gentle breeze in the darkness. 

It was a perfect night. 

Spencer could think of no better way to spend it than with you. The yellow bulbs of the street lights practically cast a glow onto your skin, the mulberry lipstick now worn off your lips as you brought the pink spoon to your mouth and licked up your sweet treat. 

His stomach was churning with nerves. Joyous nerves. 

And as per usual, when he was nervous - he rambled. 

“You know, Bach actually married his cousin.” He said, spouting off the first thing that came to mind. 

You told him that Bach was one of your favorite composers - it’s why he had thought to bring you to the orchestra on a date in the first place. 

“I did not know that.” You giggled. “So what? Was it like a ‘third cousin twice removed’ type situation?” 

Spencer found himself grinning at the fact that you actually engaged him in the conversation, rather than staring at him with an odd look for bringing up such a strange topic. 

“Not quite.” He replied. “They had the same surname before marriage.” 

“Oh, ew.” You chuckled again, giving a shudder at the thought of this. 

Spencer knew it was an odd topic to discuss on a date, and if he rambled on too much, it might freak you out - but he couldn’t stop himself. His mouth ran away with him, and he continued. 

“He married Maria Barbara Bach, and they had seven children together.” He told you. “His sons, Wilhelm Friedemann and Carl Philipp Emanuel became composers and musicians much like their father, which was actually carrying on a legacy started by Bach’s father himself - who was a seventh generation musician. He was the one who taught Bach the organ from a very young age.” 

“Why don’t people play the organ anymore?” You wondered aloud. “Except in churches, I guess. The organ rocks.” 

Spencer’s brain began rocketing off at the fact that you had asked him a question. A question he could answer. 

“The organ has actually long been associated with divinity.” He replied. “The instrument rose in popularity alongside Catholicism throughout the eighteenth century, and in a sense, that was part of what made Bach a sort of ‘rockstar’ of his time. The religious references in his work, and his mastery of the organ - all of it made him incredibly popular at the time because it caused him to be favored by the church and by royal figures associated with the church.” 

Spencer gleamed a large smile, heavily enjoying that he could share these facts with you. He thought for certain that any moment, you would change the subject or imply that he should stop talking. But instead, you engaged the conversation more. 

“Religious references?” You questioned, wondering what he meant by this. 

“Yes!” Spencer grinned, suddenly very excited by the explanation behind this. “Even in his secular music, Bach would often incorporate the acronym ‘INJ’, a Latin abbreviation that means ‘In Nomine Jesu’, or ‘in the name of Jesus’. It was something he put on all of his manuscripts.” 

You grinned back. You found it fascinating that being around Spencer for such short periods of time caused you to learn so many things. It easily made you want to be around him more. 

“Interesting.” You replied. 

“And his talent on the organ was seen as something that made him ‘divine’ at the time. Divine enough to be worthy of performing for royalty.” Spencer added on. “In 1708, Bach got a position as the court organist in Weimer for Duke Wilhelm. And later when he requested early release from this position, desiring to go work for Prince Leopold of Koethen, the Duke actually had him arrested and put in jail for several weeks in 1716.” 

Spencer laughed at this mental image - the composer being put in jail. 

“Ooh, harsh.” You sighed. “But I guess Dukes have too much power.” 

Spencer let out another bright laugh at this. 

“And see, the interesting thing is, Bach later became the conductor of the court orchestra, in which Prince Leopold played.” 

“So he got his wish,” You replied with a smile. 

“And see-” 

Spencer set off on another rant again, and you couldn’t help yourself. You put your spoon into the cup of ice cream and then you used your now free hand to reach out and grab Spencer by his tie - you pulled him toward you before he could get anymore words out, and he let out a shocked, choked-off sound when you pressed your mouth into his. 

He sighed gently against your lips, and unconsciously dropped his own melting chocolate cone on the ground by his feet as his limp hands drifted toward your waist. He was dizzy, and now every single fact he had ever known about any composer had vanished from his head. In that moment, standing under a random street lamp on a random sidewalk somewhere - all he knew was the soft, pillowy feeling of your lips and the cool night breeze against his skin. 

It was perfect. You were perfect. 

You found his intelligence and the enthusiasm with which he spoke to be so utterly irresistible. You had been on so many dates with men before where they had acted like talking about their interests was a chore. Where they had made it seem like the whole thing was simply a routine, waiting for the end of the night so they could get into your pants. And for them, that’s what it probably was. 

But Spencer was nothing like that. 

He spoke about everything with such intense passion - and you couldn’t resist the urge to try and suck that very passion off his lips. 

When you were forced to pull back slightly, your lungs crying out for oxygen, Spencer let out a gentle moan and began puffing out sweet little pants across your chin as he tried to catch his breath. You kept a hold of his tie, wanting to keep him close, and he stayed there, gently pressing his forehead against yours. 

“That was… wow.” He sighed. 

“I didn’t think I would ever find you at a loss for words, Doctor Reid.” You replied with a giggle. 

“Well, I - you - wow.” 

It was all he could muster, causing you both to break down into laughter. 

Back then - everything had been perfect. 

He had no clue where it all went so wrong.

...

A/N: I really hope everyone enjoyed the first part! I would really love to see 10 Comments - in the form of replies, comments on reblogs, or asks (anonymous or not) and 20 Reblogs before I post the next part.

The series is technically finished in my drafts and just needs to be edited, but editing is usually the most difficult and tiring for me, and I would love to see some support and love for the series before I continue working on it, knowing that more people want to see me put effort into it. So please do leave a comment - even in the tags of a reblog - telling me what you enjoyed about it if you have read this far. It is much appreciated <33