#THIS IS FLITHY IM SORRY!!

[impyssadobsessions]

DPXDC Prompt: Supersons + 1

What if Jack became friends with Clark and Bruce. And Danny accidentally becomes apart of the Supersons.

Jack takes Danny with him on a trip to visit his friends- just for it to turn into a playdate. But it isn't long for the cat to come out the bag especially since Danny's rogues can sniff him out.

So now all three are trapped in the ghost zone and this is way more than Danny wanted to reveal with day one "friends" . (maybe its walker)

And their dads having to come find them. Jack leading the charge because he has no idea Clark and Bruce are superheroes LOL But he knows ghosts when he sees them >:U

Could also be a good moment to have good dad Jack- one that once he knows Danny's phantom is immediately wait.. that's my son… MY SON? IM COMING DANNO!

Imagine just very heartfelt. Jack learns to reconnect with his son- Danny has more connections and now protection. Jon is happy to have a flying friend. And Damian still appalled Danny's bad at his identity. "It works because most people wouldn't think I'm dead." "Except for other ghosts?" "I told you that's not something I can avoid >:T." And be even funnier if Clark and Bruce had to go along with Jack WITHOUT being super. Even Jack doesn't find out about them. Which Danny is fine with keeping secret. So they have to work off of limited unsettling tech and still pretend they're a good shot because of other reasons.. or hits. Imagine Jack is like sensitive to Bruce's parents death like OH WAIT- sorry Clark you take these. Brucie, I got the boo-merang and the anti-ghost staff somewhere. That's my wife's favorite. uwu Jack also the reason they couldn't slip away into hereos because he dragged them along shouting FLITHY SPOOK! GIVE ME BACK OUR SONS!... in the Fenton RV... so imagine they had... Quite a ride.

[sanaexus]

social's as otoya's girlfriend

-liked by megubachi, karasu_tabito and 122.8k others

yourusername: otoya stop annoying me challenge. 1! 2! 3! Go! (impossible) anw i love the third picture

tagged: eita.otoya

eita.otoya: i know you want me (pls say yes) ↳yourusername: gag ↳nikkoki: "worst she could sae is no" ↳shiidoryu: HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY LOVE'S NAME FROM YOUR FLITHY WHINEY MOUTH YOU PEASENT BOW BEFORE HIM AND LICK HIS FEET ↳itoshi_sae: i unblocked you now i'm gonna block you again ↳shiidoryu: NONOONON IM SORRY ☹☹☹

isaichii: was it really necessary for him to strip? ↳yourusername: no but i'm not complaining ↳eita.otoya: i knew you loved me mamas

↳chigi.who: what the fuck ↳rin.itoshi: get this lukewarm comment out of my sight please ↳megubachi: RIN ITOSHI SAYING PLEASE (3AM CHALLENGE GONE WRONG NOT CLICKBAIT 😦😦��😱🙀🙀) ↳rin.itoshi: i'm gonna dunk your stupid thick skull into a toilet bowl ↳megubachi: shiver me timbers babe

user1: Y/N GOT THAT LEVEL 1000 SKIBIDI ALPHA OMAGE GYATT ↳yourusername: i know right babes i'd let you smash ↳eita.otoya: count your fucking days

karasu_tabito: CAN A MAN GET HIS FUCKING PIC CREDITS I HAD TO SEE HIM SHIRTLESS AND THEN I HAD TO WATCH YOU GUYS TWIRL AROUND FOR 5 MINUTES AND WATCH HIM THROW UP ↳alexis.ness: WE ALL HAD TO WATCH HIM SHIRTLESS FYI ↳hioyori: you probably enjoyed it gay ass ↳alexis.ness: no comment ↳yourusername: MB BRO SORRY THAT WE'RE A CUTE COUPLE ↳itoshi_sae: no because what's cuter than watching your boyfriend aggressively throw up, ah peak romance ↳yourusername: shut up you can't even give head ↳oliver.aiku: HOW DO YOU KNOW? ↳yourusername: bc i have a big fat cock, you should suck it ↳yukimiya.kenyu: FOR GOD'S SAKE Y/N YOU CANNOT TELL PEOPLE TO SUCK YOUR DICK ↳yourusername: then can i suck theirs? ↳eita.otoya: no you cannot.

kuniisuke: did he bite your finger in the middle picture? ↳yourusername: no he didn't he tried though didn't hurt ↳kuniisuke: dammit

-liked by isaichii, chigi.who and 142.1k others

yourusername: if red flag why green?

tagged: eita.otoya

eita.otoya: ME? RED FLAG? you wound me ↳yourusername: breathing talking walking and people fucking red flag ↳user2: what is eight pronounced as?

karasu_tabito: bffr he isn't only a red flag he's a red carpet, he's the relationship warning waffle, he's the representatives of the "toxic men community" he's the relationship hazard sign ↳eita.otoya: OK WE GET IT ↳yourusername: no no go on humble him a bit more please ↳eita.otoya: BRO I HAVEN'T EVEN DREAMT OF A FEMALE OTHER THAN YOU LET ALONE CHEAT ON U ↳yourusername: BRO????? NAH KYS ↳megubachi: so you don't think of your mom? as disappointing as igarashi playing soccer ↳hotman69: I AM VERY GOOD AT SOCCER I'LL LET YOU KNOW THAT ↳mikka.kaiser: FOR LORD KNOWS WHAT TIME ITS FOOTBALL NOT SOCCER. YOUR FOOT AND THE BALL. FOOTBALL ↳shiidoryu: the only balls that should touch my feet are saes ↳itoshi_sae: please choke ↳isaichii: both of you are such clowns ↳hotman69: who are the 'both of you' ↳isaichii: the both of you

shoei.barou: kissing under the water? fucking disgusting. you guys are worse than nagi ↳nagi.seishiro: YOU SAID MY NAME HE SAID MY NAME OMG HE DID IT ↳chigi.who: that is so out of fucking character for him ↳reo.miikage: he never even used caps with me or was that excited with me ↳kuniisuke: BRO GET OVER YOUR BREAK UP PLEASE 😭 ↳yourusername: i'll do what i want i'll break into your house with my shoes on run around, jump on your couch, twerk on the table and kiss your sisters ↳megubachi: I'LL COME TOO I LOVE TWERKING ↳julian.loki: excuse me? twerking on the table what ↳oliver.aiku: maybe don't do the last two? ↳isaichii: bachira what the fuck ↳shoei.barou: sleep with one eye open eita.otoya: i love you ↳yourusername: more than kicking balls around? ↳eita.otoya: ba ba black sheep have you any wool

user3: jokes aside how did you breathe in the last picture? ↳yourusername: we didn't this hoe accidently swallowed the water and then tried spitting out but ended up spitting on me so i dunked his head in the water but i slipped so i fell into the water and we looked like clowns to everyone around us ↳eita.otoya: I SAID SORRY ↳karasu_tabito: he didn't die? dammit ↳eita.otoya: BRO??? I THOUGHT WE WERE BESTIES ↳yoursername: "besties" coming from 6'0 feet kinda muscular ball kicking women fucking man to another 6'0 feet kinda muscular ball kicking hair gel applying man ↳hiyori: CAN YOU GUYS NOT DESCRIBE FOOTBALL PROPERLY? ↳itoshi.rin: they're gay is what you mean? ↳yourusername: yes

-liked by hiyori, kuniisuke and 143.7k other

eita.otoya: i'm just ken anywhere else i'd be a ten🙁😔 (last image is y/n when she sees me)

tagged: yourusername

yourusername: STOP SPREADING MIFSIMORNATION YOU DICKLESS TWAT ↳megubachi: SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACk ↳hiyori: "dickless twat" is a very fitting word ↳eita.otoya: I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS GUYS WHAT? ↳shiidoryu: sorry bro i'm busy wonkaing my willy ↳karasu_tabito: i'd rather admit i use hairgel than be seen with you ↳yukimiya.kenyu: doctor told me to stay away from "eye-hurting" things so i can't exactly be friends mb bro ↳isaichii: i'd rather give away bachira than be friends with you ↳megubachi: FIRST YOU BET ME OFF AND NOW YOU GIVE ME AWAY? WHAT A SHIT AHH FRIEND mikka.kaiser: here to spread the word of god (me) STAN NEW JEANS 🗣🗣‼‼🔥🔥💣💣🔫🔫💯💯😎😎🔛🔝 ↳yourusername: SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK ↳megubachi: YOU GOT ME LOOKING FOR ATTENTION 🗣🗣💯💯 ↳chigi.who: NEW HAIR NEW TEE NEW JEANS DO YOU SEE? NEW HAIR NEW TEE NEW JEANS DO YOU SEE?

user3: never in a million years would i have thought i would see a bunch of grown ball kicking sweaty and possibly gay men telling me to stan new jeans and then spamming their lyrics ↳mikka.kaiser: can a man not be super shy in peace? ↳reo.miikage: CAUSE I'M SUPER SHY SUPER SHY BUT JUST WAIT A MINUTE WHILE I MAKE YOU MINE MAKE MINE ↳eita.otoya: 떨리는 지금도 YOU'RE ON MY MIND ALL THE TIME I WANNA TELL YOU BUT IM SUPER SHY SUPER SHY

eita.otoya: we're so cute together ↳yourusername: i know right i feel bad for the other couples bc we're obvi the best ↳isaichii: THE best is a bit of a stretch isn't it? ↳yourusername: shut up you look like muffin man ↳isaichii: HE'S CUTE ↳yourusername: shir up beo ↳isaichii: 🙁🙁😔😔 ↳megubachi: LOOK YOU MADE HIM SAD ↳reo.miikage: good do it again ↳chigi.who: GET OVER YOUR BREAK UP NAGI DIDN'T EVEN LEAVE YOU FOR THAT LONG WHY SO DRAMATIC? ↳naig.seishiro: what

karasu_tabito: here to inform you guys y/n got smacked in the face with the ball right after she took that picture ↳yourusername: KARASU THAT WAS A SECRET YOU HOE I'LL EAT YOUR LIVER ↳karasu_tabito: shiver me timbers

yourusername: WAIR I JS REALISED THIS IS THE FIRST POST AB ME ONGOGMGKMGOGMGMG SHDSHDSDS EVERYONE CODE RED ILY PLS BE MY GF ↳eita.otoya: sure i'll be your gf 🥰🥰 ↳nikkoki: what's code red again ↳chigi.who: JUST HYPE HER UP MAN I'VE TOLD YOU THIS BFR ↳nikkoki: WOOOO HOOO ITS HAPPENING ↳rin.itoshi: yay (please leave me alone y/n i said it now) ↳yourusername: I DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING STOP SPREADING FAKE INFORMATION ON ME user4: no way y/n just asked otoya to be her gf ↳user5: sometimes gf do be a 6'0 feet loving wannabe ninja man ↳yourusername: you get me 😔✊

GUESS WHOS BACK? BACK AGAIN? GUESS IM CONTINUING THIS SERIES FOR BLUELOCK BUT ALONG WITH THAT I'M GONNA START THIS SERIES FOR GENSHIN TOO?? also how are yall liking the new purple theme

STAN NEW JEANS GAYS 🥰🥰🔫🔫

[wannabevampire]

Matt has a huge (pun intended) size kink and loves/is so smug about how his girl struggles to take him, how she whimpers and says he’s too big and won’t fit even though she’s trying SO hard to make him feel good too and he’s just like ‘poor little angel, too much for you? That’s ok, daddy can make it fit’ and would literally train her to take him UGH

HE DOES HAVE A SIZE KINK AND WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT

okay speed round because my phone is at 5%

(this isn’t really dark but it’s very mean!dom matt, and some stuff could be interpreted as dub con maybe…better safe than sorry!)

he goes feral when you wear his clothes. like actually it drives him mad. it doesn’t matter where you are or what’s happening, if you’re wearing his sweatshirt he’s pulling you into the nearest room and fucking you till he cums and makes you keep it inside you for the rest of the day so you don’t forget your place 😵‍💫

so so so condescending when he realizes you get off on the fact that he’s so much bigger than you!!!

“oh aren’t you sweet…you like it when i treat you like this don’t you? you like that your brain shuts down when i’m around you. you like that all i need to do is utter a few choice words and you’ll fall to your knees and do whatever I say.”

he gets so mean and cocky when you struggle to take all of him!

“f-fuck matt you’re too big i don’t think I can.”

“aw sweetheart it’s cute that you think you’ve got a choice. you said you wanted this didn’t you? you’re always talking about how much of a big girl you are, so prove it.”

“crying already? you sound pathetic. just know, you’re tears turn me on so if you think that’s gonna make me slow down you’re wrong.”

then the after care would be so good!!!!

“so good for me sweetheart. my girl, so proud of you. always perfect for me.”

cuddles, bear hugs, more stealing matt’s shirts…

kisses :]

<3

…

xoxo,

allie🕊

[chemicalxrevenge]

Luther: “shh you guys my girlfriends calling”

*answers phone”

Luther: “Hey sis how’s mom doing?”

[thegetoufather]

AYO pondering hours with aman??? 🤨🤔🤔

spare er*n thoughts??????

god i have so many im pretty sure he destroyed my cerebral cortex. this got away from me im so sorry.

warnings: smut, 18+/minors DNI, sex under the influence (alcohol, its two consenting adults tho), college au, unprotected, mirror sex, some ass play, prissy jean lol, horny fluff, im in love with him and i hate it!

I think about partying with new boyfriend eren a lot.

When the alcohol floods your system you can’t help but think he is even more handsome, the party lights illuminating his sharp cheekbones even further, his laughter filling the room and adding to the vibe. It makes you dopey, sinking even further into the honeymoon stage as you watch his hands slam the red solo cups down in flip cup and think about how lucky you are that he is yours.

He always has that same goofy smile when he catches you staring at these things, walking up to you and kissing you even if you’re conversing with your friends in an odd form of punishment for drooling over him so publicly. He always breaks it with a teasing smile, introducing himself so effortlessly afterwards as your boyfriend in front of the girls who sit next to you in English. Its insane, how he’s carrying as solid conversation with them about how much of a hardass Professor Shadis could be so nonchalantly, like his tongue wasn’t in your mouth a minute ago and while he now squeezes your ass to let you know he’s been having the same drunk thoughts all along.

You break away from the conversation soon after, Eren scooping you up into a carry as you push past the crowd into a bedroom, getting crudely tossed into the bed so Eren can lock the door. Your furrowed brow soon disappears as he strips off his shirt in a fluid motion, abs rippling under tan skin as he settles in between your legs to hike up your dress to settle around your waist. He presses a kiss to the wet spot in your thong before pulling it down, reveling in your soft little moans as he peppers kisses down your thighs for no reason other than to tease you, you’re practically drooling in the sheets already. He rolls you on your stomach, large hands gripping your the globes of your ass apart as he runs a thumb over that puckered hole and you whine, begging for him to do something already.

He presses into you with a kiss between your shoulder blades, a languid motion that has you moaning into the sheets beneath you. You’re glad he can’t see the way your eyes rolled into the back of your skull when you heard him let out a strained fuck when he was flush with your ass, it would have been embarrassing, but its like he could read your mind — reaching over to grab your neck to pull you up to his chest and bring you face to face with your flushed reflection in the mirror.

The large hand never leaves the pretty column of your throat, putting a light pressure on your carotids so that he could hear every little sound you make with every thrust. The other squeezes your thigh to stabilize you, grip tightening with every flithy thing Eren whispers in your ear.

“Can’t enough of this pretty pussy, yeah? Look at what a good job you’re doing taking me, can’t believe this is the first time my girl gets to see what its like. Fucck.”

And with every squeaked yes and broken cry of his name you nod in agreement, entranced by the sight of your bodies in the mirror. The faintest part of your brain is wondering when he even had it put into his room, but the thought gets pushed away every time his cockhead kisses your cervix. Your hand leaves his wrist to sneak to the apex of your thighs, rubbing circles on your clit so that you’re brought closer to your orgasm.

What sends you over is another one of Eren’s comments, a gruff “yeah, keep touching yourself like that, princess” that causes sparks to flow throughout your body as you clamp around his girth, Eren spilling into you shortly after. You collapse back down to the sheets as you catch your breath, cum dripping out on the navy fabric below you as you still your beating heart.

You still feel like you’re floating when Eren turns you around, and you prop yourself on your elbows as you watch him clean you up. He tosses the tissues aside and clambers back on top of you, whispering a cheeky “hey there,” before pressing his lips against yours.

It’s soft and lazy, the kind of kisses that feel like they are taking forever and no time at all because all you can feel in the moment is him, and each time you break apart you can’t help but rest your forehead against his and giggle, reveling in the afterglow of your orgasms.

The thumping bass line of the party music brings you back to earth, and you announce that you should probably return back to the scene before people start wondering where you’ve gone. You hop off the bed, searching for your panties only to find Eren’s tucked them into his jean pocket with a wink, taking his souvenir and heading out the door.

The rest of the night is a blur of dancing and a couple more shots, the night ending with you falling back into bed for round 2 before promptly passing out in each others arms.

He’s awake before you are, green eyes watching you intently as you blink your eyes open.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” he murmurs against your forehead.

You whisper back a good morning as you snuggle into his warmth, feeling his hands slip past the edge of his old shirt so he can stroke your back, a soothing motion threatening to lull you back to sleep.

But the sweet moment gets cut short with a blood curdling scream, you and Eren leaping out from under the covers and into the hallway where you find Jean clutching cum stained navy sheets in his hand with a death grip.

“WHO FUCKED IN MY BED?” he yells, sending Connie doubling over in laughter as Marco tries to calm his boyfriend down. “THESE ARE THOUSAND COUNT SHEETS, YOU KNOW!”

You slap a hand over your mouth, realizing that you were right to question the mirror, but before you could sneak back into the comfort of Eren’s room to escape Jean’s wrath, you’ve realized he’s laughing manically too, catching Jean’s attention immediately.

At the very least, you’ll both go down for your crimes against Jean’s Anthropology sheets together.

[angelprinz]

the urge to finish my huge flithy diluc fic that i was meant to send in for you on his birthday so you can get more fanmail since these mfs like riding your dick sm🧍 maybe they enjoy it who knows

anyways hi my sugar! over month (?) since i popped in im so so sorry, school has drained me a lot so no brain power has been used for writing. hope school/work has been treating you well though! ><

from yours truly,

— cosmos/🌌 anon ❤︎

kith kith cosmos! i’ve missed you~ i’ve been well and very excited to see this diluc filth you have coming <3 education may truly be the enemy..

been busy working my job and spending my salary while studying .. visited the ocean today too! how have your days been?

[basiccortez]

Am I wanna watch Sons Of Anarchy just to understand how it can be kind of related to Sinners and Saints? Yes.

bestie. . . I-. . . guess I'll go rewatch it to.

here are some thoughts and warnings for you as you begin your adventure: (some light spoilers so proceed with caution)

Jax fucking owns me. okay, every OUNCE of feminism leaves me when I see him.

Opie, still sensitive. . .

JUCIEY BOY YOU DESERVED BETTER

Happy Motherfucking Lowman god damn lord above I am free any night of the week I'll be waiting legs and mouth open.

Clay shoulda been the one off of route 18.

IN THIS HOUSE WE RESPECT THE QUEEN GEMMA TELLER AND I DON'T WANNA HEAR SHIT ABOUT IT.

Tara can go die.

Lincoln Potter and June Stahl better never meet me in a dark alley or it's all bets off I'm going to maximum prison their mothers will cry when im done with them.

Otto was the most loyal Son out of the whole fucking MC and I will die on that hill to protect him.

I love me some Scottish silver foxes.

Tig. . . man what the hell, momma shoulda shot you.

FLITHY PHIL AND KOSZIK I MISS YOU AND IM SORRY THE IRISH ARE ASSHOLES

any more comments questions and concerns my inbox and dms are open. happy watching:))

[astroyongie]

hi sweetie im the first time with johnny anon, i mean it depends on what are you more comfortable to write with? also we can mix it as well, right? so do what you want, ill give you a free pass

note: okay love ! I a really sorry for taking so long but I just wanted to make sure so you wouldn't be disappointed with the outcome 💓 hope you enjoy it

Johnny First Time With s/o

Johnny would be very patient about it actually 

despite his very horny nature, he wouldn’t do a thing to make his s/o nervous, so he would wait

but you can still bet he will give you some hints of his needs every now and then 

still he is a gentleman 

when you both feel ready to take that step he would be more than happy 

but to be honest his man would be also very nervous about the fear of hurting you. He is a big man, and the last thing he wants is to make you uncomfortable 

the preliminary would be very important 

expect lot of goofiness coming from him but also loves of love

would kiss you slowly and passionately 

and then his kiss would come down your body. It would be very wet yet marking kisses

takes his time to undress you and to worship every part of you. 

clearly cannot help himself, and sometimes he would curse under his breath at how gorgeous you are

and c’mon he is so eager 

would be very romantic as well, holding your hands, making eye contact and listening t your reactions so he can guide himself to make sure you are okay 

he would tease you indeed, but more in a way to built you up

like for the first time he would be expecting you to beg or to be flithy. Nah, he keeps that for after a few more rounds 

Still, he would tease you with his mouth and fingers, until he feels you are ready for him 

very slow and passionate. would hold himself back for you even if there’s times where he has to stop and breath through his nose to focus 

would blush if you compliment him and tell him he is making you feel good 

lots of breathy groans and grunts. since he has to go in a slower pace to keep up with you, he would make lots of frustrated noises that sound quite.. erotic 

Johnny would also smile down at you, as he sees you lost in pleasure

once you both reach your high, he would stay inside you a few more minutes

letting you savor how everything feels

then yes he would remove himself from you, and clean you up

expect very gentle aftercare. like he would be really clingy, asking you how things were, what you liked and what you didn’t. 

Kisses your face and neck, while holding you on his arms until you fall asleep

expect him to be a lot more sexual after your first time

[kweebtrash]

Can I Love Like This? (M)

Messy Chapter 6

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny 

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU, Angst, Smut

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings:  description/discussions of sexual assaults, beginnings of codependency, light drinking/drug use, unhealthy coping mechanisms, anxiety attack/night terrors, a little bit of a “i can fix/help you attitude”, a little jealousssyyyyyyyyyy

Features: slight daddy kink (daddy/princess), a lot of making out and ass grabbing (because johnny’s a slut), a little bit of grinding, blow jobs, unprotected sex/pulling out, slow fucking/riding, scratching, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, oh and cock warming

Word Count: around 13.5k

A/N: There’s no group chat at the end so I’m sorry! I know a lot of people like them because they’re funny but for some of the serious chapters there won’t be. Towards the end, the songs referenced are Chase Atlantics “Dancer in the Dark” and “Into It”.

Messy Masterlist    Buy me a Ko-Fi  Other Stories

Johnny's POV

I stood quiet as I was unsure as to why she was crying. It happened so suddenly that I stopped talking, pausing to see if she would gather herself. I had told her what happened after the rave and everything that transpired the past couple of weeks. It was definitely hard to say the whole truth. Jae had only gotten the cliffnotes version; i wasn't exactly comfortable telling him everything even though he was my best friend. For some reason though, with Eri, I felt like I could tell her anything and she wouldn't think less of me. I just didn't expect her to cry.

“I'm so sorry, Johnny.” She managed to squeak through her hiccuped breaths.

I scooted closer to her. “For what?”

“For not being there for you…”

“How could you have been? I pushed you away. I needed some time to myself. Shit got heavy really fast and I stayed roped in this mess. I just felt stupid. I knew i shouldn't have taken the pill but I did. And if i hadn't maybe i would've avoided all this.”

“Dont ever blame yourself, ok? We make mistakes but that doesn't warrant anyone getting ra-”

I grabbed her shoulder, more intensely than i should have but i couldn't bear to hear what she was about to say just yet. “Please don't say that word. Just don't.”

She pursed her lips together and pulled her knees to her chest. I sighed and raised my hand to wipe away the smudge-y black tears staining her cheek. She turned towards my touches, slowly falling into my chest and holding onto me tight. It felt good to be held like this. I didn't realize i was even craving it until now. A warm touch that wasn't full of violence or ill will finally made me feel like I could breathe again. Like my safety net has been casted and I could fall into it without worry. “I don't want this to happen to you again. I want to be there for you.”

“It wouldn't be the first time.” I shrugged simply.

Eri looked at me in surprise and as if another round of tears were about to break through at any moment. “What do you mean? T-this has happened before?”

“Something similar, i guess.” I set my head in the palm of my hand as she pulled away to give me room to breath. “When i was younger i hooked up with an older chick which was a big mistake. I wasn't really experienced at the time so I let her take control. So she asked me to go down on her-this was my first time doing it- and then she kinda...she like held me there. I couldn't really breathe so i started to panic and tried to push her away. She didn't let go. When she finally did I didn't want to do anything after but I guess she convinced me or guilted me into having sex after.”

“Oh my god...that's why you dont-”

I nodded.

Her semi silent tears exploded again and i wanted to shake her. There wasn't any need to cry over me or even take pity upon me.  “Eri, stop it. Stop crying.”

“Don't tell me to stop crying! All this shit happened to you and it makes me pissed! Im angry you felt like you couldn't tell anyone. I'm upset at myself for not being there for you. I feel guilty for all those times i asked you to go down on me. And worst of all i want to hurt the bitches that did this to you. Like really hurt them.”

“Don't. I just wanted you to know. I was the one that felt guilty about leaving you on read. I got swallowed up by everything and it was like I wasn't allowed to even be with my friends. I'm thankful that you're worried about me and i'm definitely glad you're here with me now but I don't want to focus on the bad stuff anymore...can we just, maybe, stop talking about it?”

Eri wiped at the tears and nodded. “Yeah, yeah! Shit, of course. I’m sorry. You don’t have to think of it anymore because of me.” She enveloped me in another death grip hug, plastering me to her chest. I wrapped my arms around her waist, setting my head on her shoulder and closing my eyes for just a moment. I could smell her- the mintiness of her shampoo, the florals of her perfume, and the underlying muskiness of our sex. Paired with the heat of her body it was the most comforting thing i had felt all month. I sighed softly, giving her shoulder a quick kiss before pulling away. I kept my hands on her waist and looked up at her. “Do you...will you stay here tonight?”

“Duh.” She smiled. “I'd be totally okay with that.” I reciprocated her smile and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. She stayed close, adding a few more pecks until i leaned into her harder. Her hands fell to my shoulders, gripping them tightly as mine slipped to her hips. Just as I beckoned for her to part her lips she pulled away, leaving me confused. “Um...is this ok?” She whispered, nibbling on her lip nervously.

“If it was okay in the bathroom, why wouldn’t it be okay now?” I scoffed.

“Because...of everything we just talked about. I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable. Remember how you did the same for me at the beach? I want to be sure you don’t feel-”

“I don’t feel like shit when I’m with you Eri, trust me. I guess I never told you but...don’t take this the wrong way ok? But like-” I exhaled deeply and dropped my head back onto the seat of the couch. “But when we fuck I don’t feel like anything’s wrong. I don’t feel like I have to be in my head, or wrapped up in shit that’s happened to me, or even like I’m rushing through it just to get off. It feels good.” I could see the hint of redness color her cheeks and it made my palms sweat. I pulled them away from her hips and wiped them furiously on my jeans, failing at trying to be as casual as I could be. I didn’t want it to seem like it was something that would ruin our fuck buddy relationship. I didn’t want that at all.

“I'm glad i can make you feel good. That's all i want, Johnny.” She said softly.

“C'mere.” I sighed, pulling her into my lap. “Promise me you wont worry about me that much?”

“Absolutely not.” She adjusted herself so that she straddled my thighs. “All i'm gonna do is worry about you now. You big dumb ass.” She resumed her gentle kisses and I dove back in to trying to pull more out of her. Anything to get my mind off of this. Too many emotions at once gave me a sick panicky feeling and retreating to sex was my comfort zone of all things, especially with Eri. With all the heavy talk I wanted to go back to burying it deep down inside my brain and my heart, trapped with all the other shit i had been through. I wanted to move on. I wanted to be free. Maybe i should be taking more time to properly heal and process it but i just wasn't capable of doing that. At least not now. Maybe somewhere down the line when i was in my mid thirties and having a crisis in therapy I could address it. But for now I was content with shoving it aside and convincing myself that I was alright. I need that intimate touch with Eri to help me forget and metaphorically wash away the dead feeling my body had from having sex with a destructive force of nature. I let my mind snap back to our kiss just as her lips parted and I could slip my tongue in. I sighed into her mouth, moving past my traumatic thoughts and letting my fingers trail up and down her spine.

Getting lost in her lips was a better addiction than any drug I'd ever done before. The way they felt against mine made me never want to stop kissing her. I didn't need to breathe, i just needed her against me. Her fingers crept into my hair, twirling around a few strands. Just as I kissed at her bottom lip she let out a soft whimper. “It still hurts, jerk.”

I smiled a bit, remembering my handiwork of almost tearing into the tenderness of her lips. A little part of me liked it, making it akin to her knowing that she was mine in that moment. “Oh, now you're gonna complain, princess?”

“D-dont call me that.” She whispered, touching her fingers to her tender lip.

“Why?”

“Because it's...i mean it goes with the whole...um-uh-" She turned her voice down to a whisper. “Daddy thing.”

Shit. I had almost forgotten about that. But how could I? It triggered something in me. Something i never even knew I desired. It made me want to do filthy flithy things and get lost in the way she begged for me. My own cheeks started to heat up just at the thought. “Right...so...uh...is that a thing between us now or?”

“I dont know! I mean it's still...there's like more to it than just the name and I dont think it's gonna be your gig!”

“How do you know that?” I tapped her forehead with mine gently and gave her another kiss. “Maybe I like all the shit you're into.”

“Name one single kink you have.”

“I like the hair pulling.”

“That's like normal people stuff, Johnny.” She practically laughed. “All i'm saying is that there's dynamics, trust, and learning that goes with using that word. It's more complicated than you think.”

“Does it mean i can control you?”

“EXCUSE.” She yelled.

“WHAT!? I'm just asking. I'm curious. Can't i be curious?”

“Well yeah but...i didn't think we'd be having this conversation so suddenly and especially not after everything that's happened.”

“I still like sex, Eri. I still want to have sex. I want to have good sex so that way my body doesn't shut down completely and i'm reminded of what it's like to not have control. Hence, why I asked. Can i have control of you?”

“Well...i mean…” she fidgeted against me and groped at the ends her hair. This was the first time I had ever really seen her so docile. It was a bit strange but i was beginning to like it almost as much as i liked her fiery “take no bullshit” personality. “Not all the time. Only in the bedroom, or bathroom...or i guess bumper cars too.”

“Interesting.” So she was giving me permission. Now what to do with that exactly. I was diving into new territory and while it was a hell of a lot more frightening than it was thrilling, the spark of curiosity was ever growing. Control was something I definitely needed during sex. I wouldn't be able to function without it. I didn't exactly see it as a kink thing, it was more of a me thing and how my mind reacted when I fucked. It was like a defensive mechanism that went off as soon as I was in someone. “Ok. So...another thing.” I started.

“Oh boy.” She took a deep breath and exhaled dramatically. “What else?”

“The choking.”

She scrunched up her body and wiggled in the most uncomfortable way. “Right. Uh...that's a thing I like. Not everyone does and you don't have to do it if you don't want to! And if you're trying to be kinky because of me you really really don't have to. I can have regular sex.”

“I want to try some things. The choking is a bit much but if you're okay with it and if i'm doing it right then maybe i'd be willing to do it again.” I confessed.

She covered her face and dove her head into my chest. “Oh my god. I can't believe we're doing this.”

“Why are you so off put by us doing it but not by Ten or Yuta?”

“Because!” She said, practically muffled by the barriers of our skin. “I never expected this from you! It's a little weird!”

“What's so weird about it?”

“I-you- we...ugh, i don't know! I guess i just…” She didn't look at me when she trailed off in her thoughts. She tugged harder on her hair, pulling a few strands free. I pulled her hands away before it got any worse.

“You're stressed.” I noted.

“It's a lot in one night to process. And i know you want to talk about this stuff between us right now because you want to ignore what happened. I get that, i really do. It feels good to ignore shit but it's a ticking time bomb.”

“I know that. The bomb has exploded a few times but it's all I can do right now. If you dont want to talk about kink stuff or sex or my life then that's fine.”

“Nonononono!” She waved her hand frantically as if to stop me. “I do! I like our talk but i'm...i don't want it to get too messy between us. I take the kink thing seriously. They're different relationships compared to romances or friendships, though they can cross over. So even if mutual friends do it and something happens where there’s disconnect or trust issues than it can be difficult to repair that. On top of that, you and I are-we're really connected. I keep forgiving you, you keep thinking about me. We're fucking stupid.”

“That's for damn sure. I know what I want from you.” I lied. “It's just sex.” Idiot, stop talking right now. “That's all it is, Eri.” Jesus christ, why do you do this to yourself?

It may have been in my imagination but maybe her deep brown eyes showed a hint of hurt in them. She quickly smiled as if would create a clean slate. “Well duh!” She laughed, which seemed a bit forced. “What else would it be! We're just friends. Who fuck. A lot. Just friends.”

I nodded, feeling my heart clench behind my rib cage. My mind was screaming to blurt out that I liked her but the chains that shackled me to my inability to fully trust anyone prevented me from heading in that new direction. “Just friends.”

She returned my nod as if we had just sealed a pact. “Um...so we're friends. Who fuck. And now you want to try being my-” She whispered again like the word was suddenly going to condemn her. “Daddy.”

“I mean…” What the fuck did I even mean? “Yes?”

She flopped into my chest again and i could tell we were on the same level of confusion, exhaustion, and frustration. Eri had been right all along and I should've listened to her. It was too much all at once. “Hey, do you want some clothes to change into so that way you're not all covered in straps and buckles and shit?” I said, trying to flip the conversation entirely.

“Oh!” She seemed grateful for the change of pace. “Yes, please. I'm ready to yeet this damn bra off.”

“What's your costume even supposed to be anyway?” I asked.

“I dont know,” She shrugged. “I just put together anything that looked slutty. Call me like a black cat or something.”

I flicked the metal o-ring on her collar. “Yeah, with your kitty collar.” I meant it as a joke but i could see by the way her she ducked her head and avoided me that she was thinking of something else. “Eri, oh my god.”

“What?! I didn't say anything!”

“You didn't have to, you kinky slut. I didn't mean it like that.” She hit my chest playfully.

“Shut up!” Eri shimmied off me and stood up between my legs. Her thighs were in my face now and i couldn't help but run my hands over them and cup her ass. This was my favorite part about her and i could kiss them for hours if she let me. I felt her tap my forehead. “Now you're being the slut. Come pick something for me to wear. I don't know where your clothes are.”

I patted her ass, beckoning her to move so i could get up myself. She moved back and headed towards my room. I was still slowly getting up from the floor when i heard her gasp. “What happened?!” I panicked and went to her side. I didn't see anything out of the ordinary though. “What's wrong?”

“Who's room is this? It's so clean!” She clutched her chest, over dramatically, and looked around. “There's no starbucks cups! And it smells so nice! Clothes are in the laundry basket! Oh my!”

“Ha ha, very funny. Sometimes cleaning your room during a severe depression episode helps. I just wanted something to help make me feel better.”

I went over to my closet while she poked around still raptured by the fact that she could now see my floor. I pushed through some of my gym shirts and button ups and found a hoodie that i thought might fit her. I pulled it out, waiting to hand it over to her, when i saw her fingers dancing over the keys of my electric keyboard. Her attention turned towards my acoustic guitar after, her head cocking just a bit to the side.

“So i'm not the only one with a music secret?”

“I dont keep it a secret. I make music with the guys all the time. It's just been really hard lately.”

“Mhm…” Eri pressed her lips together, her eyes darting to the left as if she was mulling over something. “So...if you're in journalism are you doing music journalism like I am?”

I shook my head and kind of laughed. I guess school and life shit never came up between us when we were fucking each others brains out. “No, photojournalism actually. I'm getting a minor in music production but I want to do mostly photojournalism.”

“I don't think you can get a degree by taking thirst trap gym pictures for instagram, Johnny boy.” She nudged my shoulder back playfully and i just rolled my eyes at her.

“I don't just take those kinds of pictures. I do other stuff. Better stuff. More meaningful stuff.” I leaned back against my dresser, the hoodie still in hand as i waited for her to start disrobing. She began with the collar, unbuckling it from around her neck and letting it fall against the harness. She turned towards me when she struggled to get to the straps behind her. I set the hoodie between my knees and pried at the metal clusterfuck. She pulled her hair over her shoulders. My eyes instantly went to the tattoos she had across her shoulder blades. I was tracing over the designs in my mind, falling deep in thought and not hearing what she was saying. I trailed up to her neck and could see the faintest dark mark from where my fingers dug into her throat. I swallowed hard. I don't know what had possessed me to give in to what she wanted. Choking wasn't something i had ever wanted to do yet she had somehow seduced me into it like some sort of vinyl clad succubus that had control over me with that little word she mistakenly (or not so mistakenly) uttered.

She looked back at me. “Did you hear me?”

“Huh? What?” I blinked and refocused on getting the straps of the harness loose. “Uh, what did you say?”

She pulled off the harness and took off her bra, sighing in relief. “I said i want to see some of your “meaningful stuff” since you said you're not always taking thirst trap pics and gym selfies.”

“Oh! Uh...i mean sure.” I handed her the hoodie which she slipped on before discarding the rest of her clothes and her boots. She looked much more cozy than before and i found myself preferring this look rather than her glammed up dominatrix gear. The sleeves of my hoodie were too long for her arms, dangling far past her small hands. She swung her arms a bit, wiggling her hips as she watched the excess fabric flop around. I couldn't help but laugh. “What the hell are you doing?”

She wiggled her arms out at me. “I don't know. They're so long on me it makes me think of an octopus.” She shrugged and became a little bit more reserved. “Sorry, i kinda do weird shit all the time.”

“Yeah, you definitely are weird that's for sure.”

“Tell me something I dont know.”

“I used to do this parrot impression for my mom when i was a kid.” I said.

“What in the fuck?” She laughed, covering half of her face with her sleeves as if to hide from second hand embarrassment.

“That's something you don't know but now you do. And i would show it to you but i don't think you deserve to see my great skill.”

“PLEASE, spare me. I don't want to hear you squawk like a parrot for the love of god.” She pawed at me with her hand as she stepped closer and set her head on my chest. I subconsciously wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled out my phone. I went to my photography Instagram and held it out for her to see.

“But anyway, parrot impression aside, here's my photography stuff. I mean it's not great or anything but...you know, i like it.”

She pushed the sleeves up her arms until her little hands were free and grabbed my phone, scrolling through my pictures. I felt my heartbeat increase with nervousness. I think i might've been scared to hear what she actually thought of my work; i guess i was putting value on her opinions and possibly wanting to...impress her? I was half prepared to hear that it all sucked but definitely not prepared for what she actually said.

“Johnny, you're so beautiful.”

I whipped my head towards her, stunned completely at those little words that i had never heard coupled together in my entire life. “W-what?” She angled my phone so i could see a self portrait i had done of me during the sunset. I thought it was a weak composition but for her to think that i was actually...beautiful? “It’s just...it's just a self portrait. I was just trying to experiment with lighting and-”

“You're beautiful, idiot. And talented. I love all of these.” She scrolled some more and almost let out a dreamy sigh. “This one...this one is perfect.” The new tile she had expanded was that of my eye filtering through the brightness of the sun and bringing out the kaleidoscope of colors my iris could make. Her cheeks looked a little warmer and i could have sworn she had let out a tiny giggle of pleasure.

“What? It's just my eye.”

“Yeah but your eyes are that perfect shade of brown that can do all sorts of things. I remember at the party right before you kissed me, the kitchen light reflected in them and they turned into a warm honey color and it was...um...nice. Sorry…” Her excitement seemed to die down and she handed my phone back to me. “I kinda made it weird…”

My palms were started to sweat again and i couldn't quite figure out how to respond. No one had ever talked about me or any of my features in that manner. I could say the same about her but currently my throat was turning into a knot. I pulled away from her and tossed my phone on my desk trying to focus on anything else. She padded over to my bed and sat down, keeping her distance and vow of silence. The only thing that interrupted it was the loud growl from her stomach. I couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. “I take it you’re hungry?”

“Well...It may have been like...6 hours since I actually ate at work.”

“Eri. Seriously?”

“Look, I had to start getting ready for the party. It takes me an hour and a half to look like this!” She circled her hand around her face that (though a little messed up now) had makeup caked on that made her look like some alternative Instagram model.

“Oh my god. Ok, can I interest you in a carpet picnic of-” I thought to what I had in my fridge. “A bunch of pizza rolls and french fries, a half bottle of bottom shelf whiskey, and some cigarettes that you entirely loathe but will smoke anyway?”

“Oh Johnny!” She giggled jokingly. “How utterly romantic. You know a way directly to my heart.”

I shrugged. “What can I say, i’m a charmer. I’m gonna put the pizza rolls in.”

“Uh, should I just stay in here?”

I shrugged. “Do whatever you want, babe.” I headed towards the kitchen and grabbed the giant bag of pizza rolls and fries from the freezer. I pulled a mostly clean baking sheet from the oven and dumped the food on it. I tried to remember when I even kept the shitty whiskey. I checked the fridge and thankfully it was way in the back behind some old chinese cartons and milk. I pulled it out and set it on the counter, finding some leftover plastic shot glasses I normally used for parties. Just as i was setting the food in the oven she joined me in the kitchen, hopping onto the counter and opening the whiskey.

She poured out two shots and held it out to me. “You need it.”

“I need to become an alcoholic to deal with all the shit im going through.” I chuckled. We held up the glasses up in a silent toast before tossing them back. She instantly poured us another one.

“Don't become an alcoholic. I'm already the alcoholic in this relationship. You're the delinquent drug user and nymphomaniac.”

“Excuse me. I am not a nympho. I can go without sex.”

“Wanna bet?” She smirked and tossed back another shot.

“No. I know i'd lose.”

“I know, that's why i want to. Since i'll win i can ask you to do a favor for me.”

“Oh no.” I protested already seeing that devilish look in her eye. “I don't trust you.”

“C'mooonnn. Dont be a chicken. I won't make it so bad. Let's see if you can last until tomorrow. I'll make it easy.” She propositioned.

“Fine. I can do until tomorrow.” I drank my shot and set it down on the counter, rubbing my chest at the after burn.

Suddenly, Eri was caressing my face, guiding me towards her for a gentle kiss. “In all seriousness i'm glad you're okay after everything. Physically, i mean. I'm sure you're still working on the mentally.”

“I'll be fine, Eri. One day at a time, yeah?”

She nodded and hummed a little in agreement. My lips hovered over hers for a moment, hesitating before giving in. I wrapped my hand around hers, pulling it away from my face to entwine our fingers together. Our kiss was much more slower than before, so that way she wouldn't complain about me hurting her sore lip. Between our tongues tangling I could hear the soft moan of my name. I pulled away just a bit. “Hmm?”

“I could kiss you for hours.” She confessed, adding a gentle squeeze to my hand. I nodded against her, my breath speeding up as my heart thundered.

“That's for damn sure. You're always driving me crazy with those lips of yours.”

“I could say the same about you.” She sealed her statement with another kiss, driving us into another session unaffected by time and boredom. That was until i smelled the beginnings of something burning.

“Fuck!” I pulled away from her quickly and rushed to grab a pot holder. I opened the oven door and saw that the pizza rolls were getting a bit too brown but I was able to save them before they were little charcoal blocks. I took the whole pan out and set it on top of the stove to let it cool. 

“Good job, chef.” Eri chuckled as she poked at me with her foot.

“Well, if I hadn't been distracted then maybe I could've taken them out in time.” I swatted at her foot gently, scrunching away when she continued her playful pokes. “I'm gonna beat your little ass.” I joked.

She jumped down from the counter and over my shoulder I could see her walking towards the couch. “Ooh, spank me, Daddy.” I could tell she was joking but the coy little look on her face told me she was still testing those forbidden awkward waters. I shook my head; this chick was ridiculous and I loved it. I grabbed some plates for us and loaded them up, tucking the bottle of whiskey under my arm as i balanced everything. I set the plates down on the coffee table and plopped down beside her in front of the couch.

“Wanna watch something?” I suggested.

She nodded. “Put a scary movie on or a serial killer documentary. It helps me fall asleep.” She ended her sentence with a yawn.

“You fall asleep to the sound of people getting murdered?”

“Yeah, doesn't everyone?” She laughed. “I’m just used to the sounds and the documentaries are soft spoken. It's nice background sounds.”

“Alright, weirdo.” I complied with her request, searching through my netflix for something she deemed interesting enough. We eventually settled on Friday the 13th and fell into a rhythm of eating, laughing at the terrible acting, and Eri telling me her favorite things about scary movies. It was almost stereotypical but she was absolutely adorable when she got so passionate about describing her favorite type of movie blood, murder weapon, and trope. Occasionally she would feed me a pizza roll or french fry and laugh when it was too hot and burned my tongue. Spending time like this, just hanging out without any craziness, parties, or people around us was amazing. She was becoming more than just a pretty face and a sex god. She was actually showing her personality. It was my turn to say that she was showing her humanity.

When the food was done and whiskey gone i realized that we were cuddled up together in front of the couch. I had gotten a blanket from my room to make sure she was warm enough and changed into some temporary pjs. Her eyelids were getting heavier and she was on the verge of completely passing out. “Eri, baby, you want to go to my bed?”

She perked her head up, sleepily. “No, no. We're watching the movie.”

“It's almost done.”

“Hmm, stay here.” She tugged on my shirt, keeping me close. I sighed and complied, even though my ass was starting to get sore from sitting on the floor all this time. I kissed the top of her head before sinking down so i could rest my head in her lap. It gave my back a break and my tailbone some room to breathe. Her fingers combed through my hair, pushing it back and scratching at my scalp every once in awhile. That in of itself was like a lullaby to me. I felt my eyes getting heavy and heard the soft hums of a song i half recognized. I set her other hand on my stomach, letting her fingers crawl underneath my tank top to rub at the skin there. This was amazing. Everything felt so warm and perfect and I thought I could finally sleep in peace.

But I was fucking wrong.

I don't know how long it took for me to slip into a panic. Flashes of Rixi and my past mistakes were dancing behind my fluttering eyelids and I tried to push them away. My breath was gone. All i could do was let out a harsh rasp as if something was choking the life out of me. My heart felt like it was going to explode any moment. The damn void surrounded me and swallowed me up, replaying my internal screams until i felt my body shake hard.

“Hey, hey! Johnny, baby, look at me. Are you ok?”

My eyes flew open and I shot up, trying to suck in air with heavy gasps. I felt sweat pouring down the sides of my face. I was trembling and couldn't control it. It finally clicked that I was at home and had been for a few hours. Eri was still beside me, complete fear staining her face. Her silhouette was surrounded by the light of the tv in an almost angelic halo. My heart continued to storm throughout my entire system and made my ears thunder. My breath still couldn't catch up with the rest of my body and it was a battle to try and focus on getting a single inhale. I could see her mouth moving but the words weren't registering. I tried clutching at her, screaming for her to help pull me out, but my limbs were dead and it felt like she was still out of my grasp no matter if I tried or not.

“Johnny! Look at me! I need you to focus!” I heard her snap her fingers as she turned my head towards her. Her voice was finally hitting my ear drums and I blinked a few times as I came out of my confused stupor. She set one of my hands over her heart. “Do you feel the way I’m breathing? I need you to do that with me right now.”

I looked down at my hand then back up at her, still unable to speak. Beneath my fingers her heart was beating a little fast but her breaths were much more steady than my own. She inhaled, holding it for a moment before letting it go. “With me Johnny, come on. In and out.” She repeated her steady breaths and I inhaled with her. A sharp pain swam through my chest but I forced myself through it to exhale. In and out, in and out, over and over until the weight lifted off my ribs. God, i wanted to cry. This one was so much worse then the ones i had nights before. It scared me shitless. I pulled away from Eri and tried to stand up. “Hey, take it easy. Relax for a second.” She said, grabbing a hold of my arm to keep me down beside her.

“Let me go.” I said, more sternly than I should have. I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do or how to calm down. I shook off her grip on me and went to my room, spending my time pacing like a mad man. Eventually she made her way over to the doorway, waiting for me to acknowledge her.

“Johnny…” She said softly. I shook my head, not knowing what for. Did I need space? Did I want space from her? I shook out my hands nervously, continuing my pacing. She took a tentative step towards me and tried reaching out. “Hey, I can help you through this you know.”

“You don’t-” I took another breath. “You don’t know how this feels.” My voice was a shaky mess.

“Hah,” she scoffed. “Good assumption. Trust me. I’ve had panic attacks where I went unconscious and barely remember what happened. I know what it’s like to go through something as serious as this. But you’ve got too much going on in your body right now. If you don’t take a second to stop you are literally going to make things worse.”

“I know how my fuckin’ body reacts, okay?!” I yelled. She nodded solemnly and kept quiet. I was lashing out just because I never wanted anyone to see me have a night terror. I wasn’t ready for that level of vulnerability yet, especially not with my fuck buddy that I thought about constantly and wanted to save me from myself. It was layer after layer of toxic thoughts but I just couldn’t help it. I wanted to kick her out but at the same time I wanted her to stay. I wanted her against me, i wanted her voice to keep guiding me through this. I wanted to be inside her. I wanted to drink. I wanted to smoke. I wanted to be a destructive force and I had to stop. Please, I need it to stop. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“I know, I know. Is it okay if I touch you or are you still hypersensitive?”

“Ye-yeah, it’s ok. I was just-”

“Confused, I know.” She stepped closer and grabbed onto me, gently pushing me towards the bed. I sat on the edge, my leg bouncing furiously. She took my face in her hands and guided me to look in her eyes. “I’m right here. I’m staying right here. Do you know what you need?”

“Can you get the weed out my drawer?”

“I don’t think that may be best right now.” She said.

“I literally smoke it for anxiety.”

“Yeah but...no offense- actually kind of full offense- you’re broke. You don’t get good stuff or medicinal quality shit. It’s honestly just a coping mechanism like your regular cigarettes are at this point. If you smoke enough you could probably trip but i feel like it’s going to fuck up your system. We can lay down together instead.”

“No. I’ll just get it myself.” I stood up, still unable to stay in one place for long, but she kept her small frame in front of me in hopes of blocking my every move. “Eri, move.”

“Johnny, please just hear me out-”

“Move!”

She set the sweater sleeves over her face, hiding from me completely. She finally stepped away and I could hear her small sniffles. Guilt was riddling my stomach as I went to my drawer and got out the cigarette case that held all my blunts. I lit one up, taking in a deep exhale and holding it in until it burned. “I hate seeing you like this…” She whispered.

“Yeah, well I fuckin’ hate being like this, but here we are. You can leave if you want to. Nothing’s keeping you here, especially if you don’t like what I’m doing.”

“I don’t...you need someone. I’m okay with being that someone.”

“I don’t need anyone.”

“That’s the problem in the first place Johnny. You’re closing yourself off. You have moments when you let people in but not enough for anyone to truly help you.”

“Maybe I don’t want help.” I lied.

“You do. I know you do. I know I can’t break that wall down in a day but you can trust me to be right here.”

I took another hit and kept my back towards her. We stayed in silence for a bit more while I mulled over her words. I knew what she was doing was exactly what I needed, but my defense mechanism to block out everyone was in overdrive. She was never supposed to see me this weak. No one was. I rested my elbows on top of my dressed and cradled my head in my hands. I could feel a tension headache surmounting in the back of my skull making my head pound. The shaking in my hands continued even as I puffed away. When one was done, I lit another without a moment in between, stuffing my almost full ashtray even more. Soon enough I felt her fingers grace my shoulders. The way she looked at me had me hating myself. “I don’t know what I want Eri.” My voice cracked and I took a smaller hit, trying to push back the tears that were threatening to fall.

She stood on her tiptoes, slowly moving her hands up my chest until they wrapped around my neck. I set the blunt in the ashtray and turned towards her fully setting my hands underneath her ass to pull her against me more. She kissed me then, drawn out and cautious, letting the reminder of smoke i held in flow into her mouth. Her tongue drew mines out, sucking on it deeply as her fingers danced at the nape of my neck. “This isn't good for you either.” She gasped in between the few moments of our lips parting.

“What do you mean?”

“Me.”

“You are. You're good. Too damn good for me.” I pressed my forehead against hers and begged for another kiss. She kept herself at bay, shaking her head as she moved to cup my neck.

“We shouldn't do this. It's not healthy.”

“Coming from someone who drinks and parties her problems away, i don't think either of us are fuckin’ healthy right now.”

“I try not to…” She whimpered and I realized it might have stung more than I intended. “But that's why I said I understand everything. We go through the same shit. We know when things are wrong but-”

“We keep doing them. Every time, i come back to you.”

“Yeah…” Her hand caressed my face now, her eyes flowing up towards mine to reflect every ounce of hurt I felt. “Why is fucking our solution to everything?”

I closed my eyes and grabbed a firm hold of her ass to pull her up around my waist. She wrapped her bare legs around me, squeezing me to the warmth between her thighs. I swallowed hard. “Because, nothing feels better than drowning in someone rather than dealing with pain and heartache.”

“I just want to help. I just want to make you feel better, John…” She buried her face in my neck, gripping onto me like she was going to lose me then and I led her to my bed, laying her down gently. “I don't know how else to do it, Johnny. Tell me.”

“You. Give me you.” I exhaled and pressed myself harder against her, keeping her legs wrapped around me tight. I got lost in her lips again while my hands grabbed and caressed everything I could. Her chest filled up my palm and I kneaded her breast with everlasting attention. Her tiny and barely audible moans coated my tongue as she sucked it into her mouth. My brows furrowed and i ground my hips into her center letting her know that it was exactly what I wanted. Though she looked so perfect in my hoodie I needed it off her. I reluctantly left her breast and slid my hand under the fabric, shoving it towards her shoulders. She wiggled her arms free before pulling me back down to her again. My lips covered her neck this time, flowing over the imprint I had left behind earlier.

Meanwhile, she was exploring the expanse of my back, her hands creeping lower until she grabbed my ass. The thin fabric between wasn't enough to keep her warmth or wetness away from me. If anything it drew me in more, as if i was under a spell and needed to feel how i felt just hours before. My body tensed in anticipation and i could feel myself stirring again with renewed vigor. “Let me take care of you, yeah?” She ran her fingers through my hair again, her voice a sweet invitation to pleasure. I nodded eagerly, ready to feel any and every inch of her skin against mine. She gripped my hair and used the force in her thighs to push me down on the bed, switching our positions so she was on top. I sucked in a breath, biting my lip  as I watched every move she made. My hands moved on their own accord, sliding over her thighs and grabbing a hold of the waistband of her panties. I gave her a little tug, making her fall forwards onto my chest. She planted her hand beside my head, steadying herself a bit. “You need to let me do this for you.”

“I'm letting you.” I whispered, truly believing that she was in control but she shook her head at me, snubbing me as a liar.

“No, you're not. Relax, Johnny. Don't you think i know how to treat my man?” My eyes widened at her words and my body stiffened as her lips trailed a fiery path down my throat towards my chest. I was trying to form a response but my brain faded as soon as I felt her nails drag down my ribs and her tongue flash over my nipple. I couldn’t help the curses I whispered or the fact that my hand gripped the back of her head, planting her there. The way her tongue and teeth ran over that sensitive area had me throbbing and arching towards her body. Her nails eased down from my ribs over to my stomach until they reached my pants. She pulled away from me and shuffled herself off the bed to pull them off. I lifted my hips to help her and tossed away my tank top, feeling a bit more free and less suffocated.

“What about those?” I motioned towards the simple black thong she had on. I wanted to see her again, especially as I thrusted inside her.

She shook her head. “Be patient.” She pressed herself onto her knees and spread my thighs a bit wider. I shuffled up more on the bed giving her a bit more room to comfortably stay between my legs and suck me down. My head rested back against my pillow as her lips sealed around my cock, sliding down my shaft and covering my veins in her tongue. She was driving strangled pants out of me already and I couldn't help but dig my hand into her curls again. Her hands rubbed my inner thighs, spreading warmth over them before maneuvering down to cup my balls. Her thumb rolled over each one, adding pressure every so often as her cheeks started to hollow out around as much as she could handle. I licked my lips and tried to keep as quiet as I could but this was bliss.

She popped off my cock and planted kisses to the underside of my shaft. Her mouth went lower and her tongue traced the same pattern her thumbs had across my balls. One after the other she took them into her warm wet heat and I pulled at her hair hard, wanting to fill her mouth entirely. She whimpered, the small timbre making me shudder and ease out her name within a groan. “Fuck...Eri…”

I wasn't even looking down at her but I could feel those dark eyes on me, watching my every breath and tense of my muscles. My hips could only try and press up towards her lips though she denied that satisfaction. She moved even lower, kissing and adding heated kitten licks to the sensitive area behind my balls. My body shot up, my legs tensing completely. She looked up at me innocently enough, her ass poised in the air and lips glistening. “Relax, it feels good. Trust me.”

“What is it?” I swallowed thickly.

She smirked and almost giggled. “Don’t worry.” She set her hand on my chest and pushed me back down onto the mattress while her other fingers danced across that sensitive patch of skin she had discovered. My thighs almost bucked closed but she made sure she could keep them open. She kept her place between them, taking me in her mouth again. The combination of her teasing and deep sucks made me cover my mouth to shield any loud moans from escaping. My other hand left her hair to clutch at the sheets beside me, trembling as I fisted them tight. Her tongue slid over my slit, dipping in and drawing out the bit of pre cum already leaking. I felt a throb straight through my length. It made my toes curl and my back arch a bit. I could feel my orgasm approaching and I didn’t want it to end just yet.

“Eri!”

She jumped up, licking her lips and looking at me wide eyed. “W-what?”

“N-not...um, not yet.”

She smiled and crawled her way up to my face. “Don’t worry, you’ll be inside me when you do.”

“F-fuck…” I shuddered at her words and kissed her hard, letting her wrap her delicate fingers around me and give a few pulls to my already heated and sensitive cock. I set my hand on her ass, grabbing a hold of her stupid panties and tearing at them. “N-need...now.”

She wiggled out of them, kicking them off her ankle before beckoning me on top of her. Her wish was my command and soon enough I was looking down at her as her lip stayed trapped between her teeth and she guided me in. “Slow,” She whispered. “I’m still a bit sore from earlier.”

I nodded and sunk into her heated depths. I loved the way she wrapped around me, suffocated me, letting me go as deep as I could. I set my head beside hers on the pillow, adding small kisses to her shoulder and collar bone. I heard her wince as I started my first thrust, making me stop. “Sssh, daddy’s got you.” Wait, whoa fuck. I pressed my lips together, my body frozen. Shit, i really said that. But Eri didn’t seem at all embarrassed unlike I was. Instead, she wrapped her arms under my own, spreading her fingers across my shoulder blades as she held on. If she wasn’t going to acknowledge it then I would pretend it never happened either.

“Keep going…” She said. “Please…”

This was what she wanted then. She liked what i had said and the fact that I needed her this much. Maybe she needed me as much as I needed her. Maybe we were made for each other. I shook my head and sunk my teeth into her shoulder, her pained whimper filling my ear. I kept my thrusts slow and steady even though i wanted to fuck all these intrusive thoughts away. I didn't have time to think about this. It's just a fuck, Johnny. A fuck you need to put your mind at ease and get back to sleep. It's...it's just a…

My need to tear through her at a fast pace dwindled as i realized how much the gentleness was worth it. I pulled away from her shoulder and looked at her, amazed by how fucking stunning she was. Her full lips were pouted open just enough to let the softest of mewls fill the space between us. Her hair spread across the pillows like a crown of amethyst and her beautifully rich skin glowed with a pink flush. Though her makeup was a mess she still seemed...beautiful. I was thankful her eyes were closed because she wouldn't be able to see the shock on my face. God, my head was swimming and she was devouring me. I was only getting weaker against her and she was everything I wanted.

“It's ok now,” she cooed once she felt my body pause. Her knee slipped from around my waist towards my ribs letting me sink in almost to the hilt. “You can go a little faster.”

“I don't want to hurt you.” I finally said. My voice was trembling.

She shook her head. “It won't now, baby. Trust me. I want to feel you cum.”

“I-inside?”

She buried her face against my shoulder and I could barely make out her whisper. “Just cum, okay?”

I nodded and finally sped up my thrusts getting a bit more relief than when i was going slow and feeling every painstakingly good thing about her. Her sweet little moans were driving me crazy and i kissed her again just to try and keep her quiet. I buried my fingers in her hair, forcing her head to stay close. I was afraid now, more than ever. Sometimes fear was just a reflection of what we truly desired and i was afraid of the love she was giving me. The tenderness, the worry, the support, the protection. It was all I ever wanted and now that I had it i didnt know what to do with it but push it away. The insecure thoughts in my mind reminded me that I wasn't going to be able to escape this feeling. It was solidified when my lips pulled from hers and I could see her head tossed back against the pillows. Her body was arched perfectly against me as if we were molded together. My name was the only thing she could say beside ‘please’ and it brought me closer to finishing. My hand gripped the edge of the mattress and i used the leverage to fuck her harder.

She stretched around me, her nails digging fast tracks into my skin. I knew I was close but I wanted to spend every last moment up until the end inside her. Her muscles were flexing around me making my breath fade into non existence. My body tensed and melted at the same time and i managed to slide away from her warmth. I couldn't help the groan i let out as spurt after spurt painted her inner thighs and heated center. I kept my hold on the mattress so tight I was sure my knuckles were going white. It took a few minutes for me to ground myself and fully relax. I settled my head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat echo in my ears. “You ok?” She whispered.

No. On a lot of levels I was not. Even now that I had worked out some of the anxiety that sent my body into a hyper fit I still wasn't okay. I didn't know how to express that to her exactly especially since part of the reason that I wasn't okay was because i realized all too late that I may feel something deeper for her than I had ever imagined. The sex was supposed to be a cure all but now it just made me want to hide. It was too intimate and real way too fast. Why don't i ever listen to the rational side of my brain?

“Johnny?”

“What?” I grumbled, mad at myself.

She kissed the top of my head and wrapped her hand around mine. “If you can't sleep or don’t want to I’ll stay up with you.”

I sighed and rolled off her, rubbing both my hands across my face. “Nah, it’s chill. Go to sleep. I’ll be fine or whatever.”

“You don’t sound fine.” She said sadly.

“It’s not you, it’s me.”

“Wow, great. As if anything good ever came from that sentence being uttered between two people.”

“I’m serious, my heads just still all fucked up. Thinking about a lot of shit still.”

“I know I could tell...butttt you seemed pretty eager to fuck me again. Especially now that im covered in your cum.”

I couldn't help but laugh a bit. “I'm always eager to fuck you.” I admitted.

“Well duh. I'm great in the sack.” She cuddled against me and placed a kiss on my cheek. I was kicking myself the entire time but there was a bigger voice saying fuck it. Fuck the complicated ass feelings. If you could be happy for one night, one day, then do it. I deserved it. I'm going back to having fun.

“You didn't cum.” I said suddenly with my newfound realization and motivation.

She kissed my neck this time. “Don't care. It was about you, daddy.”

That damn word again. I hadn't even had a chance to relax and I was getting worked up again. “I care. I want you to feel good too. I was being kind of selfish.”

She shook her head. “I'm telling you, you did exactly what I wanted. I wanted you inside me and I wanted you to cum and feel good.”

“Get on top of me.” I commanded.

“Johnny you seriously-”

“Princess, do you think i'm joking? Get on top of me.”

Her cheeks flared up again and her mouth hung open a little. “I...um...o-okay.” She kept her head low as she crawled back over my hips.

“Fuck yourself on me. Now.”

“You sure? I-i mean, you just came so like...you'll be really sensitive and -Ah!!” I cut off her sentence with a slap to her thigh.

“Do it, Eri. I’m over these fucking feelings eating me up and I’ll be damned if it keeps happening and ruining my time with you-with anyone.”

She let out a cute whimper and lifted her hips up a bit. She guided my still mostly hard cock towards her entrance and sunk down slowly. I hissed harshly, squeezing my eyes shut tight as her body completely overwhelmed my sensitivity. I had never felt anything like this before. She hadn’t even started moving and I already felt like I was going to cum again. I tried to steady my breathing that was building rapidly. It almost felt as intense as my anxiety attack but this was one hell of a way for my body to react. I clawed at her hips, leaving my own marks behind as she began working her ass against me. This was exactly what I needed. My mind was a fucked out mess, only being able to concentrate on how good she felt instead of everything else and my body couldn’t keep up.

We were getting lost in each other and it seemed never ending. A rough grind here, a thrust there, our hands never straying away from one another. Her neck disappeared in my palm and she pressed her thumb against my throat testing the waters of my shaking frame. She was practically saying my new found title like a prayer, over and over as if it was going to tether her to some holy plane. I could barely manage any sounds. My voice was nonexistent though I wanted to scream for her. I wanted her to know that i was losing myself and never wanted to resurface. Her thighs quivered then, her tiny fingers clutching at my neck tighter.

Her moans were becoming rougher and more staggered until she finally came like i wanted. She fell forward onto me, burying her face in my chest as small shivers went throughout her system. It was enough to make my body react, reaching another orgasm that shocked the hell out of me. I had never got off more than once in such a short time frame. It was more intense and a bit longer than before and fuck it felt amazing. I didnt know i was even capable of doing that. “H-holy fuck…” i finally managed to say. “Eri, what the fuck did you do to me?”

She was so deep in my chest that her voice was muffled. “I'm guessing you found out that guys can have multiple orgasms without cumming, huh?”

“Oh my god...since when?”

She snorted. “It takes some practice and getting used to but it's possible. They don't teach you that shit in sex ed.”

I pushed my hair back and wiped at the sweat across my forehead. “Jesus…”

“Welcome to my,” her sentence was interrupted with a yawn. “World.”

I kissed her forehead and set my arms around her shoulder as i tried to process everything that happened between us. “Sleep, ok?”

“‘M sticky…” she mumbled.

Right. Fuck. My body felt like a sack of bricks but i parted from her gently and slowly worked my way to the bathroom, grabbing my towel from the back of my door. The apartment was still quiet and the automatic timer on the tv had shut it off leaving everything is darkness. I didn't even know if Jae had come home. I'd have to check my phone to see if he had texted me at some point. I managed to not trip on anything getting to the bathroom sink and wet the towel. Briefly i looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was sticking up in random places, lipstick smeared on my mouth and neck, and my eyes red. I splashed some water on my face and washed away the lipstick before heading back to my room.

Eri was splayed out in bed, her chest rising and falling gently. I realized she had already fallen asleep. I smiled as I took in her soft features and the way her lips pouted ever so slightly. I didn't want to disturb her so i cleaned her up as best as I could, ridding her of my leftover cum. When i was satisfied with my own cleanup i dove back into bed, setting my arm around her waist. I was afraid of falling back asleep but as soon as my head hit the pillow I was out, faded, satiated, and reminiscing on feelings I shouldn't be having.

--

When I woke up it was already later in the evening. My body was still sore and tired but also starving. My hunger got the best of me and I needed something soon. I rubbed at my eyes, blinking a few times to see that Eri was still being my little spoon. I pressed a kiss between her shoulder blades and sighed contently. I felt...good. Like really good. Like a fog had been lifted from my mind. For the first time in a month i felt like I could breathe easier and was happy to be alive. This was exactly what i needed. I tried sitting up a bit so i could prepare myself to start functioning but I noticed I was trapped inside her.

When the hell did that happen?

I dont remember us fooling around after we passed out, let alone getting hard enough again to stay inside her. Her warmth feel so good, even better when she shifted and backed herself up against me more. A soft sigh fell from her lips and I wondered if I should finish whatever the hell I had started. No. If i did she would keep me in this bed all damn day and I'd never get anything done. Slowly, I parted from her, biting my lip at the heated wetness that coated my cock still. I could grab a quick shower and take care of it then. I left her in bed and went about getting a shower (and jerk off session) in, scrubbing away a day and a half's worth of sweat and sex. I got on a fresh pair of pj pants and popped in my airpods, putting on my spotify list and heading to the kitchen.

There was about a half dozen texts from Jae and the group chat had blown up with about 50 messages, mostly from Yuta. Afterall he was there right in the thick of it and apparently was arguing with T.Y. for kicking Eri out. I didn't want to think about that now and only answered Jae letting him know that I was at the apartment. I worked through the fridge, getting what wasn't spoiled and remotely related to breakfast food out to start cooking. The music hit me as i was beating some eggs and i started dancing and singing along. I was enjoying it way too much and it was the best feeling ever.

In the middle of turning my omelet over I felt hands slide over my hip bones, resting beneath the band of my pajamas pants. Looking over my shoulder i could see Eri pressed into my back nuzzling against my skin. I set my omelet on a plate and popped out an airpod. I turned around and grabbed her waist, keeping her against me. She smiled and wrapped her arms around my neck making us press our forehead together. I was still grooving to the music, making her sway with me as she giggled. “What’s gotten into you this morning-afternoon-thing?”

“Don’t know,” I hummed a bit. “Just don’t feel as shitty right now.”

“Ohh, aren’t those less depression days nice? Makes you not feel like dying as much.”

I nodded and closed my eyes, just liking the way she felt against me. “Oh baby, maybe it's that look in your eyes. They been telling me she wanna leave. She's been dancing with the devil all night. it's like Hell is where she wanna be…” My own little concert was cut short when i felt her hit my chest hard. “Ouch, what the hell?!”

“You never told me you could sing you-you-stupid hot bastard!” She exclaimed.

“Oh...I’m more than just a dick you know.”

“EXCUSE?! You of all people saying that! I should hit you again!”

“Please don’t.”

“Oh, fuck...oh my god. I didn’t mean-”

“I know.” I shrugged. “But I was joking, mostly. Just kinda feeling the song you know? Been listening to it on repeat and I finally feel good about music again.” I said.

“Will you sing for me some more?”

“Only if you’ll sing for me.”

“Well,” She laughed. “If you want me to scream in your face I will most certainly do that. But that’s all you get from me.”

“Oh right, your emo-screamo-twig bands. Serenade me with your lyrics about death and stabbing and going against the man.”

“As long as you serenade me about taking drugs and fucking girls because ‘i’m into it’.”

I leaned back against the counter, smirking a bit. “You listen to them too?”

“I listen to a lot of things.” She stood on her tiptoes and gave me a kiss. “I’m more than just a dick you know.”

I rolled my eyes and chuckled. “You’re fucking weird.” I grabbed her ass that I loved so much and pulled her up for a deeper kiss. She wasted no time sliding my tongue past my teeth and I could taste the fresh mintiness of my mouthwash on her. I slid my hands up my hoodie she had put on again, exposing her ass completely and about ready to fuck her on the counter, food forgotten. That was until i heard a throat clear behind us.

Eri and I separated and adjusted ourselves before turning around to see Quinn standing in the kitchen. “Well sorry to interrupt you guys tongue fucking each other's mouths but now that you're up I can finally give Eri their phone.”

“My-? Fuck, i didn't even notice! Where was it?” Eri said.

“You left it in Taeyong's bathroom. After the kinda fight thing happened and you left, Jae and I were worried about where you and Johnny might have gone off too. I luckily found it when i was trying to call you.” She handed it over to Eri. “We got to and realized that you  the apartment around 3 am and realized you guys were here because of all the ‘oh daddy’, ‘daddy, yes! Please!’ getting screamed.”

Eri and I both stood up straighter, our faces crimson and heated. “I-i...i dont know what you're talking about!” Eri tried to lie.

“Don't bother trying to cover it up. You're getting louder, Eri.”

Eri hit Quinn with the fabric of the hoodie sleeve, making Quinn laugh amidst her incessant teasing. I didn't realize that we could be heard fucking. It wasn't something i was really used to with Eri. I could handle people hearing us moan but definitely not her saying...that. I didn't want people to know about that part of us just yet-or even at all. It was way too private. “I'm gonna kill you, Quinn, I swear it!” Eri exclaimed.

“Don't get so touchy! It was kinda hot listening to you guys.”

“You listened?!” I said. “What the hell, Quinn?!”

She just shrugged. “Ya’ll were being loud! Not like I had a choice! Anyway, Eri, Yuta has been blowing up your phone so you should check in with him. And Mama Doyoung wants to talk to you asap.”

“Fuck.” Eri whispered. “Doyoung is gonna kill me. Shit, I have to call him right now.”

“Why would Doyoung kill you?” I asked.

“It’s...nevermind. I may have to go see him.”

“Oh, also, one more thing.” Quinn started. “Jae and I are going to get boba this week.”

“I love boba!” Eri interrupted.

“I know. That’s why you and Johnny are going on a double date with us.”

“Whoa, wait what?!” I couldn’t help that my voice went up a few levels. “I dont- we are not dating or going out on dates!”

“Uh- huh so anyway, if ya’ll aren’t working Wednesday, we’re going then.”

Eri looked at Quinn then at me. “Uh...um...well...it’s not like a date-date, right? Friends get boba all the time. We get boba with Lucas and Yuta! Those aren’t dates.”

“Ok, whatever you wanna say. We’re going on a double date. So like be ready. I’m gonna go back to bed. I’m too tired.” Quinn gave Eri a kiss that lasted a little bit longer than I preferred. “Let me know how it goes with Doyoung, ok?”

Eri sighed and let Quinn leave, watching as she closed to door to Jae’s room before turning to me. “I’m so sorry. Quinn gets weird when they’re cranky and tired, ignore that. We’re not going on a date.”

I stayed quiet for a moment. “Do you always let Quinn kiss you like that?”

“Uh, what? Well, like...for the most part. Why?”

“Hmm.” My hands gripped tighter around the edge of the counter. Was I actually jealous or was Quinn just annoying me as usual? Eri looked up at me as I spaced out in my thoughts.

“Do you...not like that or something?”

“I mean, you can do whatever you want with your life. Go see Doyoung or whatever too.”

“Johnny, are you jealous?” She asked.

“Why would I be? You got shit to do, it’s fine.”

She cupped my face in her hand and made me look at her even though I didn’t want to.

“I’ll come back if I can, ok? Maybe…” She kissed my neck and trailed the kisses up to my ear. “We can sleep with you inside me again? Like this morning?”

I bit my lip, hating how good that sounded. There was no reason for me to feel all kinds of weird jealousy. I knew I fuckin’ had her in the palm of my hand. “Yeah...yeah, babe. Sounds good.”

She gave me a small bite beneath my jaw. I could feel the mark she was leaving behind already surfacing. I winced for a second before nudging my head away. “I’ll try and be quick okay?”

I just nodded and turned back to my omelet, grabbing a fork to stab into it. Eri went back to my room, probably to gather her discarded halloween outfit. I noticed she was keeping my hoodie on with her skirt and thigh highs instead of all the straps and shit she wore. She didn’t say anything about borrowing it or even about asking to keep it and neither did I. When she got to the door she gave me a little wave and before she left I called out to her.

“Hey, Eri?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ll go on that date with you.”

--

Eri’s Pov

I got home and showered so I didn't completely smell like weed, body spray and sex before I went to go see Doyoung. I was so tired and worn out. I felt like my whole damn uterus was about to fall out and i was all kinds of fucked up over Johnny. He was doing shit to me that I never thought was possible. I set my head against the shower wall and sighed, letting the hot water run over me. The scratches he left behind were a little bit deeper than i thought and stung under the spray. I didn't want Doyoung to see any of the marks I had since i was almost 1000% sure he was going to grill me about Johnny. I sighed as i stepped out and dried myself off. I didn't have time to deep condition my hair so it was about to be on the hot mess express and not be ready for work tomorrow. I tied it up in a bun and went to my room to pull on some fresh clothes. I looked over at Johnny's hoodie that remained discarded on my bed and bit my lip as i pulled it close. I hugged it to my chest and nuzzled the hood, taking in the smell of it. It was just like his flannel that day, warm and musky. The cologne was faded and more so smelled like him. It was perfect. Maybe when I went back to see him I would give him the flannel. After I washed it it started smelling like springtime freshness instead of him.

I pulled the hoodie on, realizing I didn't have that much time to spare. I texted Doyoung that I was on my way and left for my car. When i got to his tiny dorm room he yanked me and almost threw me on his bed. “1. What the hell, you haven't talked to me in forever!” I went to reply but he cut me off. “2. What is going on with you, Eri? I'm hearing all this shit about you and I don't even know what's up from down! 3. Did i or did I not say DONT hook up with Johnny?!”

I sighed and flopped on the bed. “Hello to you too, Doyoung.”

“Eri. Start talking.”

I told him almost everything; the hookup at the party, how we have class together, when we fucked in the bathroom, the racist prick at the beach, the bumper car, how gentle Johnny could be and that he had bad things happen to him that he didn't deserve. I didn't go into specifics about Johnny's assault or anxiety attacks; it wasn't my place to do so and I would never betray his trust like that. “He can be an asshole sometimes but he...he has a lot going on.”

“So that justifies his behaviors?”

“Of course not! I'm just saying...he isn't all bad. You cant judge someone for sleeping around when I do the same and you care about me.”

“I know that Eri.” Doyoung sighed and sat beside me. “I worry about you. I heard about a fight at Taeyongs party?”

“It wasn't a fight, but trust me I was ready to take my gauges out and end her. What happened was that this girl, this….monster, she was-” I licked my lips and took a deep breath. “She was just not a good person and I had to help Johnny get away from her.”

“Get away from her? What do you mean?”

“There's things that I can't talk about. They aren't my place to talk about. He trusted me with these things and-and all you need to know is that I would've probably gone to jail for him.”

“Oh my god Eri…”

“What?”

“You're in love with him.”

I shot up from the bed. “KIM DOYOUNG WHAT THE HELL?”

“It makes sense now. The way you guys acted at the beach, when you, unfortunately, described in detail how you guys hooked up, and now you wanting to protect him? And-” he looked at my phone as a notification came in. “Who is Heart-Heart-Big Dick Daddy-Heart-Heart?”

“What?” I looked down and unlocked my phone. When i opened the message it was a picture of Johnny with the edge of my panties between his teeth. The accompanying message was ‘forgot something?😏’. My entire face lit up and i realized Doyoung had seen it to.

“Ya'll are nasty.” He stated flatly.

“I-! It was Quinn! They took my phone because i left it at the party! His name was Johnny in the contacts before!”

“And your underwear in his mouth is-?”

I stood quiet for a moment. “Ok, we know I make bad decisions, it's not rocket science. However, i am not in love with him. I can't. I won't ever be. You know that I can't.”

“Eri, that was literally almost three years ago. It was a mistake but it doesn't automatically prohibit you from ever being capable of falling in love again.”

“It does, Doyoung because I know that I fucked up and i can never take that back. I can't risk hurting anyone again and have it on my conscious. It already haunts me every day.”

“You need to stop letting it eat at you. What happened with Jungwoo could've happened with anyone.”

“Yeah but I picked the sweetest boy in the entire world to hurt. He didn't deserve it. And i don't deserve to have someone like that in my life again.”

Doyoung sighed. “Stop thinking that way. Making a mistake doesn't make you worthless. Besides you need to face the truth if that’s what's going on now. As much as i don't approve of him, you need to come to terms with the fact that you feel something for him. It's written all over your face.”

“It is not! Please stop saying that! It's not true! It's not!” I could feel my heart clench as my breath stuttered in my lungs. The thought of love sent me into a panic. It made me think of how I ran away from it all. The pain, the doubt, the fear. It was hitting me all at once again and attacking me like some sort of monster. I felt Doyoung wrap his arms around me and set my head on his chest. His chin rested on the top of my head.

“Eri, please. It doesn't have to be this way. You don't have to close yourself shut. You have love for so many people. You have the biggest heart and are always the first to protect us over anything. You have the ability to love wholeheartedly. Why is that so scary?”

“I'm not worth it...and i know you're going to tell me I am but i'm not. Before Jungwoo, my ex in high school who I spent years together with lied to my face about loving me. She said she never did the whole time we were together, Then i get to college, meet Jungwoo and became no better than her.”

“That's not true. You did love him you just…” he sighed. “I don't know how else to make you see that you deserve to be happy. Do you really care about Johnny?”

I sniffled and nodded my head silently.

“And he trusted you to reveal of whatever happened to him. He let you seem him in a state of vulnerability, right?”

I nodded again.

“Well i'm glad he has some fucking semblance of humanity and isn't just a regular fuck boy.” Doyoung kissed the top of my head. “I want you to know that I'll protect you too, ok? If he ever so much as hurts you then he'll be dead. Also if he does care about you then i don't want you to be afraid anymore. You have to face it some day and it may be sooner than you think.”

I buried my face in his chest as the beginning tears started falling. Fuck, if he wasn't right. I was still running away from things that I hadn't been able to get over. If this went any farther with Johnny would I end up hurting him too? He was the last person that deserved any more hurt. I wanted to see him smile more, dance more, sing more, have fun cooking and goofing off. I wanted us to share thousands of kisses and feel the way his heart beat beneath my fingers when I curled up against him. I wanted to be the one to support him and bring that smile to his face. I couldn't cure his depression or anxiety but I wanted to be maybe the tiniest glimmer of hope he had in knowing that he wasn't alone. We were two imperfect asteroids and when we collided sparks flew within our little galaxy and made waves of colors that represented our feelings for one another. What feelings were we even having anyway? Was it all one sided? That was another fear I couldn't face just yet. What if all this time, as i was tearing my wall down to let him in, he never felt anything at all for me. I could still probably be some hook up to him, something meaningless and unworthy as usual.

I couldn't help that I was crying harder and Doyoung didn't question any of it. He let me have my time knowing that this ate me alive and destroyed me. It was my biggest weakness and regret all compiled into one and spread like weeds to anything new I tried to let into my life. Worst of all, in the pit of my heart I knew that he was absolutely right. I was falling in love with Johnny.

[sunflowersupremes]

I’m Still Waking Every Morning But It’s Not With You

Zoltan comes to tell Dandelion that Geralt has returned to life.

Characters: Jaskier/Dandelion, Geralt, Zoltan Chivay

Tags: Alcohol Abuse

Read on AO3

The world around him was finally starting to blur, turning into a multicolored array of nonsense. Poetical, thought the troubadour cheerfully.

Dandelion closed his eyes, taking another long drink from his beer. He’d finished his performance for the night, slipped away from the adoring fans, and found himself a quiet corner to curl into. All he had - all he needed - was his alcohol.

He always needed a drink after his performances and - more often than not - before them. It was the only way he could handle singing about Geralt. Of course, people had told him to simply find other muses, something less traumatic to sing about, but he couldn��t. If the White Wolf couldn’t live on in actuality, then he would live on in song. It was Dandelion’s duty to him.

The best thing about his current state of inebriation was that if he squinted, the innkeeper’s aged friend could almost pass for a certain white-haired Witcher.

“Dandelion.”

“Not now,” he said without looking at the speaker, motioning them away with a wave of his hand.

“Dandelion!”

“I’m hardly in a state for conversations with fans at the moment.”

“What about old friends, ya bastard?”

The poet’s eyes snapped open. “Zoltan? Zoltan!” Dandelion felt a smile spread across his face. “Why, I can’t say no to such a familiar face! Come, sit with me! What brings you to Vizima?”

“If its familiar faces you’re lookin’ for, then have I got news for you lad.” Zoltan bounced into the booth across from the poet. Without asking, he grabbed Dandelion’s tankard and drained nearly half of what was left.

“What familiar face are you referring to, Zoltan? My friend Shani is in town, but I’m not certain you’ve met her-”

“It’s not Shani, laddie,” Zoltan said heavily. The dwarf tapped his fingers on the table, watching Dandelion. “Geralt’s back.”

Dandelion froze. “I’m sorry?” he asked. “For a moment there my friend, I almost thought you’d said-”

“Geralt of Rivia is alive.”

“That’s not funny,” Dandelion hissed. He waved over the waiter, taking another beer from the tray, downing half of it in one gulp.

“It’s not meant to be!” argued Zoltan. “Dandelion, I saw ‘im with my own eyes!”

Dandelion’s hands shook. He blinked, struggling to focus on Zoltan. After a moment, the three fuzzy figures merged into one, but just as quickly, they slipped back apart. “You-” Dandelion snarled “are lying! Do you want to talk about things we saw with our own eyes, Zoltan?”

“Dandelion-“

“Because I was there. I saw the pitchfork. He slammed a fist on the table, hard enough to make the entire table shake. “I watched Geralt bleed out on that- that flithy street-”

“Aye,” said Zoltan. “So did I laddie, but-”

“Fuck off.”

“Listen, friend-”

“Friend?” Dandelion whispered, he leaned forward, until his face was level with Zoltan’s. His sides were heaving, barely able to pull enough oxygen into his lungs. “So you want to talk about friends, Zoltan? Because my friend Geralt died protecting non-humans. And only one of the two of us is a non-human.” He’d regret it in the morning, but at the moment, all that mattered was the gaping wound in his chest and the scab that Zoltan had ripped off of it.

His eyes refused to focus on Zoltan, so he couldn’t see the dwarf’s face, but he heard him whisper, “Dandelion-“

“So you cause his death and then you- you come here and lie to me?”

“Oh laddie,” murmured Zoltan. “I’d heard ya’d gained a love for drink, but I had no idea how bad it had gotten.”

“This has nothing to do with my drinking!” He took another swig of his drink. “Geralt’s not back? Do you know how I know that?”

“Because ya saw ‘im die?” Zoltan guessed dryly.

“No. Because if Geralt were back, he’d have told me.”

“Dandelion he- he don’t remember anything. Barely knew his own name, certainly not mine.”

“Excuses!” snapped Dandelion. He pushed himself to his feet, fumbling for a coin to pay for his drinks. To his surprise, Zoltan left a coin on the table for him. He grit his teeth, refusing to thank the dwarf.

“Dandelion, when ya sober up, why don’t ya-”

“Why would I want to sober up?” He leaned over, looming in the dwarf’s face. “Fuck off back to your whore, Zoltan.”

[faiththefox]

The Sun of the asylum Chapter 2: Meeting the patients

Sorry its taken so long to post this Ive got school and there have been some big storms in my area so I have put my laptop on charge just in case. Anyways I hope you guys enjoy.

@uirene you wanted me to tag you with every chapter so here you go! lets start the story

@ask-the-new-killer (I wrote this a while back just check the Sunlily tag next time! I’ll try to tag you when I finally get around to the third chapter lol)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wait in the lobby of the asylum for the head nurse so I could find out where my on-site room is and get a tour of the building. I stand there for only a minute before a women her 50′s comes in with a very sour look on her face. She huffs at me before extending her hand out to me. “Welcome Miss.. Rose was it?” She says as I mumble “Its Tori.. rose is my surname” to which she ignores me. “I’m Miss Rachael and this is the Hills asylum the home to some of the famous killers in history more commonly know as the slashers. You are going to be replacing me as the head nurse of this facility so its best to give you a tour now before meeting your patients” She drones on as she starts walking. 

She lead me around the asylum showing me all the activity areas available to the patients ‘although she commented on the fact they shouldn’t have to have them for murders’ I think back as she showed me each of their rooms. It seems like all the brothers were roomed together while Billy, Micheal and Jason were put in their own rooms. The place wasn’t as big as I thought but this just means there should be better chances of getting closer to them right?  Suddenly, Rachael brought me to a room completely covered in Christmas decorations “This is billy’s special places.. as he calls it. This is where you bring him if his “fits” become to much.” She says bluntly before pulling me away and started leading me outside. 

There they were.. the Slashers. Micheal was throw flat rocks at what looked like a makeshift person. Bubba, Chop-top, and nubbins were playing tag and running all around the place. Bo was leaning on a wall looking very pissed off while his brother was sitting by the fence drawing in a sketch book. Jason was also sitting near the fence but facing more towards the woods with his shoulders slumped down almost... sad looking. Brahms was just sitting smack dab in the middle building a very sad looking castle out dirt but the weirdest thing was billy who was chained to a bench with a straitjacket and muzzle. I look over at Rachael who waves her hand out over the yard “Why don’t you go meet them while I go finish getting the last bit of paperwork ready for you then Ill show you their activity planner so you know what they do on which days.” She bluntly says again before walking back inside.

I start walking over to Jason cause something was pulling me over to him. I sat down in the dirt, getting my uniform dirty, before looking at Jason tilting my head. He turns and looks at me as I notice what he had been doing. In the dirt was a a childish drawing of a little boy and what looked like an older woman. My eyes widened as I realized that this was him and his mother. “Do you miss her?” I say softly as he kept looking at me. He looks back at the drawing before nodding with his shoulders slumping down more. I gently placed my hand on his shoulder and smiled “I miss my mom to sometimes but all I need to know is that she loves me with all of her heart” I spoke gently before Jason hugged me surprising me. I forgot to meet all of the other slashers as I just sat with Jason telling him stories my mom told me about herself. Soon Rachael came back outside and walked over to us which made Jason tense up. “I see you are getting close to Mister Voorhees. Shall we head inside?” She says in her dull tone. I nod getting up as Jason turns back to the woods and his little drawing. 

We walked inside and did everything that was need before she lead me to my room. Giving me the key before walking away leaving me to my own devices so, I start to unpack and put all of my stuff away. As I putting away my Brahms costume my phone started ringing from my purse on the bed that I had just pulled out of my bag. I pull it out and check the caller I.D and surprise surprise it was my brother Alex “Whats up bro?” I say as I answer the phone. “Hey! How was your first day..? Did you get hurt?” He asked and I could hear the worried tone in his voice. I laugh before replying “No but Jason seems to like me now! I told him.. about mom” My smile faltered as I said the last part. Our mom had died two years ago during her trip around the world... She was walking around Paris and her heart-rate got to high... they couldn’t save her. Alex was quiet before I say “I didn’t get to meet the others so its going to be a crazy ride tomorrow.” He laughs halfheartedly. We chat for a few minutes about random things trying to get our minds off of mom for a moment because her death hurt us terribly. 

We said goodbye and I finished putting away my stuff before flopping into my bed and passing out almost as soon as my head hits the pillow.  

~~~~~~~~~~The Next Morning~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up to the sound of loud knocking on my door. I jump up and walked over to the door opening it forgetting I didn’t change last night so I probably look like crap. At the door was a young nurse about 20, I guessed fresh out of college or nursing school. “H-hello Miss Rose... umm Miss Evans wanted me to tell you today is the day you get control to see how to do with the patients...” She says in a shy and nervous tone. I place a hand on her shoulder and smile “Thank you for telling me and call me Tori! Also don’t be nervous around me Im only older then you by 6 year hahah” I say jokingly. She nervous smiles back before rushing off to something. I shut the door and quickly see that my hair was a rats nest and my outfit was a bit wrinkled. I groan as I brush my hair out but decide that I wouldn’t have much time to change and headed out the door. 

I head to the dining room (it was to small to be a cafeteria and seemed more like a dining room to me) and see all the slashers sitting at the table but no food in front of them. “Hello I’m the new head nurse Tori! Sorry for the quick intro but why don’t you guys have food?” I quickly question. “I dont know you tell me? Man you are shit head nurse” Bo says making glare at him before walking into the kitchen area. “I’ll make something does anyone have any requests for breakfast?” I call out to me through the window thing as I put an apron on. “PANCAKES!” Three very hyper voices call out making me laugh. I quickly make a chocolate pancake recipe my mom used to make for me. Then I put the two pancakes from the huge batch on 9 separate plates. I brought two out and sat me in front of Jason and bubba before running back and trying to being the plates out as quickly as I can.

Everyone dug in quickly after I set all the plates down expect for Micheal, Jason and Brahms. I sigh walking back into the kitchen and making some toast for myself as I used all the batter for their food. After 30 minutes I walked back in to see everyone’s plates were clean making smile just a bit as I grabbed everyone’s plates to put them in the kitchen. I walk back in and smile “Ok guys today is a free day so I can fully get to know each of you guys!” I say with a happy tone. Everyone (expet for the ones with masks) looked happy and rushed off but billy grabbed my arm as I walked to follow the rest out. I only then noticed that he wasn’t wearing the muzzle or jacket today. “Flithy pig..” he softly mutters and I see that his eyes aren’t fully focus which made me a bit sad. I lead him to his christmas room and set him down. His face lights up and he starts playing with all the toys in the room. 

Billy finally got focused with a coloring book I was able to leave the room and start to check on the others. The first group I found was the sawyer brothers listen to the radio and playing with some blocks. I knocked lightly on the door frame when the music went to commercial making them all look at me. Bubba clapped his hands and run up to me hugging me practical lifting me in the air. “Whoa! Bubba can you please put me down!” I say laughing a bit with a smile which I guess he didn’t expect the me be happy? I could see his eyes widen behind the latex mask the replaced his original one. He giggled setting me down as his brothers started chanting “Bubba’s got a girlfriend behind him”. I smile and say “Just wanted to see how you guys were doing! and if you needed anything!” Bubba nods and points at the blocks before pulling me over to them. Chop-top laughs and says “He wants to play with ya! Good for ya!” as Bubba and I started playing for an hour before I had to go. Bubba was happy and waved as I left to go check on the others which lead me to the art room where Micheal, Brahms and Vincent. 

I watched Vincent work with the clay making a beautiful statue of an alicorn before I was snapped out of it by Brahms’s childish whining as Micheal grabbed one of the colored pencil that he wasn’t even using. I walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder like I did with Jason and the young nurse. “Is there a problem sweetheart” I ask defaulting the nickname out of habit. I could see Brahms’s eyes widen as he looked up at me from his coloring book on the table. He shook his head before turning his head back to his coloring book (which looks like greta and him making me sigh in my mind). Micheal didn’t even look at me as he worked on this beautiful looking mask so I left him alone. I left and found Jason by himself outside looking at the forest again. I walk up and gently put a hand on his shoulder like yesterday making him turn to me. “You missing her again?” I ask in a soft tone but he shook his head. He made a drawing of eyes “You want to just look at the woods because you like nature?” I guessed making him nod his head quickly. “Mind if I join you?” I ask making him nod as I sit down next to him. This was a good start as any I guess.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FINALLY DONE IM SOOO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO MAKE THIS! IVE BEEN SO BUSY BUT HERE IT IS! HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY! IM GOING TO GO DO RANDOM STUFF LOL!

Also She didn’t find Bo because he was hiding away from her so he didn’t have to deal with her. 

[xxbluestrifexx]

EXO as toddler sims (minus suho bc hes runnin this show)

- it was freezing and Kai nearly froze to death bc he wouldn’t go to bed

- Chanyeol and Kai woke up bc of nightmares and proceeded to stare at each other and cry

- I didn’t have enough room to fit seven toddlers beds in one room so Xiumin is sleeping in a bed under the stairs harry potter style

- every toddler but Xiumin woke up at 2am for no reason and now they’re all screaming bc they’re sTARVING

- poor suho he’s gonna die before it’s even six am

- none of them will go back to bed BECAUSE THEYRE SAD ITS COLD IM SORRY ITS THR MIDDLE OF WINTER

- Chen, baekhyun, and Kai have all thrown tantrums so I’ve fed them and everybody else passed out bc I bought a thermostat

- SOMEHOW BAEK ESCAPED AND IM SCARED

- Baek nearly got CPS called on my ass

- Xiumin is my favorite he’s been asleep this whole time

- sehun had a nightmare and he’s now woken everyone up, a repeat from 3 hours ago (it’s now 5:25am and suho is TENSE)

-kyungsoo is next for “cps will be here before I know” and I’m scared

- sehun is playing with Teresa the triceratops to be happier

- Xiumin is dreaming about death

- suho is starving but so are the toddlers sAcRiFiCeS mUsT bE mAdE

- Chanyeol is naked and SEHUN THREW HIS CHICHEN NUGGEST ON THE FLOOR YOU UNGRATEFUL SHIT

- suho has made himself a sanwhich and refuses to deal with anything until he’s done eating

- Xiumin is STILL ASLEEP

- CHANYEOL WENT OUTSIDE IN THE FREEZING WEATHER WITHOUT CLOTHES AND NOW HES CRYING

- suho has to pee but the kids need to eat

- Xiumin has joined the cps needs to arrive soon line

- Kai is either sad or angry and I can’t anymore with him

- it’s 10:30 in the morning and I’m already yelling at my screen bc SEHUN IS HUNGRY BUT IF HED EATEN HIS FOOD INSTEAD OF THROWN IT WE WOULDNT HAVE THIS PROBLEM

- oh shit it’s the welcome wagon

- suho is TIRED

- Chanyeol is tired and angry but also needs attention and won’t let me HELP HIM

- all of the welcome wagon is watching Kai sleEP

- suho is napping on the couch upstairs and has left Xiumin in a high chair with all the neighbors

- apparently the house I’m in has a basement

- it’s now 1:27, suho hasn’t met with any of the neighbors and it’s freezing outside

- one of the neighbors is eating the applesauce I left out for a quick snack for the toddlers and she’s on my hit list

- the neighbors all left and they’re really pissed we weren’t good company oh well

- Xiumin is eating fruitcake on the ground in the kitchen bc SOMEONE ate his applesauce

- it’s 4 o clock and I think I’m gonna have suho make a grand meal so I have enough food for the small EXO army of toddlers

- Superhuman by nct 127 just came on and IM JAMMIN

- Xiumin and Chen are playing together and it’s cute, baekhyun woke up and theyre having a cbx moment

- it’s 6:09 and all of them but Kai just woke up and they’re P I S S E D

- WANT IS ON YESSSS MY HOE ANTHEM

- giving Chanyeol and Sehun baths is its own feat

- kyungsoo is really content and I’m happy but HES WANDERING OUTSIDE AND ITS STILL COLD

- our heater has been on this whole time and my bills are gonna be H I G H

- all the children are gathered around the counter that holds the food and it looks like a daycare class on their colored carpet squares

- Baek is playing by himself and it’s cute

- the food is really bad and all the toddlers are sad now

- suho had to convince Sehun to bathe and he’s like flithy but no GOTTA CONVINCE HIM

- Kai and Baek are starving to death and it’s fine it’s normal

-OH RUN RUN RUN RUN AWAY RUN RUN AWAY

- if you know that EXO song were best friends

- Xiumin is lecturing baekhyun and he’s got the green stuff coming off of him and BAEK IS DISGUSTED

- Kai finally decided to get out of bed and be productive and get food instead of starving

- suho just passed out and all of the toddlers and upset

- WHAT DO I DO THEYRE ALL GROSS AND SCREAMING AND ALL THE VARIATIONS OF SAD

- SUHO IS PASSED OUT FACE FIRST BY THE TUB AND SEHUN IS JUST FAT CHILLING BC THE DOOR IS BLOCKED

- Chanyeol put himself to bed after knocking over the trash can

- I WISH TODDLERS COULD BATHE THEMSELVES

- sehun is coming down the stairs and I’m scared

- suho is up but I feel so bad for him there’s still two toddlers he’s gotta bathe

- it’s 11:05pm and we have three toddlers to put to bed and suho is gonna pass out again oh boy

- GROWL IS NOW ON AND IM GETTING FLASHBACKS

- suho passed out again and Xiumin can’t get down the stairs

- Kai is so dirty he’s just sitting on the floor unmoving

- there’s so many dishes all over the kitchen

- suho is on the brink of death; he’s gotta pee, he’s hungry, he’s gonna pass out again, he’s gotta shower and he’s not having any fun

- it’s now 1am the next day and suho has been up for 24+ hours

- MOVE!

- Baekhyun had a nightmare and he’s feeling neglected join the club buckaroo

- the trash can is overflowing bc we can’t wash dishes with seven toddlers crying at once

- suho passed out before he could even bathe Kai

- Xiumin has awoken from his nap on the couch and has finally decided to try and go downstairs

- nvm he can’t go downstairs

- CHEN HAD A NIGHTMARE AND WOKE UP ALL THE KIDS

- I WAS SO CLOSE

- it’s 4am and they’re still not all asleep and poor suho is about to die

- I moved two beds to the second level for Xiumin and Kai who are trapped up there

- Chanyeol is eating spoiled food

I’m just gonna end it here and assure y’all it probably took a lot longer to get to the point for suho to sleep- I hope y’all enjoyed!

[cinnaminsvga]

Can I dare ask you to recommend some jk s-smut?

YOU JUST ASKED THE MOST DANGEROUS QUESTION OF ALL TIME HOE!!! YOU’RE ABOUT TO SEE WHAT FUCKED UP SHIT I READ IN THE DOWNTIME HAJSHDJHAD (note: a lot of the stuff I’m gonna link is mxm because HO BOY DO I READ A LOT OF THOSE hope you don’t mind!!) bold are all time faves!!

↳ reader insert

wonder by @nchu - This is a Thing and I am forever grateful to OP for writing this wowowowoow

protégé by @baeseoul - A classic JK smut fic, of course I had to put this in here hsjdhjxzn

not so honest by @wonhopes - READ THIS FOR A GOOD TIME WOW (I think this was one of my first JK smut fics?? Always a classic in my heart)

50% Polyester by @perpetually-jungshook - UMM THIS IS A SEQUEL TO HER FIRST FIC WHICH IS SO DAMN CUTE THEN WE GOT SHY!KOOK SMUT,,,, omg you guys you don’t know how much I love shy!kook?? i’m so whipped oh my,,,

Teething pt 1 by @sue-bts - I’m like 101% sure every hybrid fic reader has read this hybrid fic at least once in their life and honestly I am always a Hoe for bunny!kook like,,, geez plz end me

Under the Bridge by @rbuns - UMM MORE HYBRID JUNGKOOK BECAUSE I AM WEAK ok bye

BunBun by JungkookieNoona - HYBRID JUNGKOOK ALWAYS A SMUT STAPLE YEEEET

stuffed pumpkin by @floralseokjin - Why did I enjoy this fic more than I should!! Wow me: a hoe for car sex! ! !

baby boy by @itskimtaehyung - Me: a hoe with a mommy kink LMAO

↳ mxm (MOSTLY YOONKOOK BECAUSE I’M TRASH)

color in your cheeks (the feeling flows both ways) by siderum - [YOONKOOK] This is a sequel to one of my all-time favorite yoonkook fics, the nights really were made for saying things you can’t say tomorrow day!! It’s not super duper explicit smut, but it’s really sweet and gives a little closure to the first part 🤧 Also??? Yoongi is one Thirsty Bitch (relatable tbh)

pretty damn good by skswriting - [YOONKOOK] THIGH FUCKING NEED I SAY FUCKING MORE???? FUCK

Baby, Let Me Educate Ya by IshtarFish - [YOONKOOK] UNEXPERIENCED JUNGKOOK ASKING HIS YOONGI HYUNG TO TEACH HIM HOW TO GIVE A BLOWJOB A+++ WILL ALWAYS RECOMMEND

You Shine So Bright Series by TheHalesNyx - [YOONKOOK] Ok so this is a pretty long series and the smut isn’t the main point of the story but??? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS FIC!!! One of the best Yoonkook fics out there ho boy 

Pretty Boy by Spoonfulofsuga - [YOONKOOK] UHHHH CROSSDRESSING JUNGKOOK I AM SORRY WHY AM I LIKE THIS (y’all know how much I love baby boys hhhhh well here yOU GO)

once upon a time, i was all alone by peachtae - [YOONKOOK] Yoonkook phone sex because I am a Wretched Human Being

But I Want It Anyway by marchdahlia - [YOONKOOK] Jungkook: says daddy; Me and Yoongi: NUTS INTO THE FOURTH DIMENSION

game changer by markerlimes (sunmi) - [YOONKOOK; OT7xJK] UMMMM DID YALL EVER WATCH THAT ONE GAYO EP WHEN THEY TICKLED EACH OTHER TO MAKE THEM SPIT OUT THE WATER? WELL. WELL! ! !

bergen, 4:30 a.m. by bellamees - [YOONKOOK] I took one look at the tags and saw “Finger Sucking” and then now Here I Am, barbeque sauce on my titties,,,

0111100101101111011101010111001001110011 by bellamees - [YOONKOOK] Y’all ever seen an android and be like “Damn I’d like to fuck that” well then you and Jungkook are the Same

Run This Town Series by dreamingdaegu - [YOONKOOK] TBH YOU CAN IGNORE EVERY SINGLE OTHER REC IN THIS LIST AND JUST READ THIS ENTIRE SERIES!!! YOU WILL DIE but in a good way!! Also??? We all need stripper!jk at All Times so,,, here u go

Storytime by Trilluvium - [TAEKOOK] Jungkook jacks it to IU but Taehyung jacks it to Jungkook so 1+1=they jack off together in the same room it’s wildt

Somewhere Close to Reality by Trilluvium - [OT7xJK; TAEKOOK] VERY VERY DUBIOUS IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF BUT HERE I AM,,, READING THIS FILTH (umm so basically jungkook stops time and kinda,,, um,,, with his hyungs,,, UHHH)

Mommy’s Boy by staycute1234 - [JIKOOK] UMMMM jungkook has a mommy kink for jimin,,, i don’t know what else to say i’m sorry

I Got It From My Daddy by Honey0613 - [YOONKOOK] Sometimes I go to church I Swear (THIS IS SO HOT LOL)

Fucking Flithy by staycute1234 - [JIKOOK] JUNGKOOK LICKS JIMINS UNDERWEAR IM SORRY

A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out by wicked_lovely - [YOONKOOK] BRATTY JUNGKOOK GETS [redacted] BY YOONGI :—-)

Fireflies and Waterfalls by SaltyAuntSuga - [YOONKOOK] Soulmate!AUs with smut,,, ah yes what a damn gem

Kiss It Better by mintsoda - [YOONKOOKMIN] UMM NORMALLY I HATE ABO FICS BUT THIS... THIS

Pawn it off by rix - [TAEKOOK] If you’re a taekook shipper,,, get your panties ready tbh LMAO

I have a ton of other fic recs but I’m too lazy so this is all you’re getting at the moment sorry 🤙👏 have fun reading all this filth!! happy holidays wahoo

[ihaterossfromfriends]

youre The Best

omg thank you so much bby, but whenever someone describes something as ‘the best’ all I can think about is this. :’D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vRlJrkxsqo

[cindercate]

id apologize for the sos spam if i was actually sorry but im not im a flithy sinner and my sense of humour is amazing