#THIS IS A VERY PERSONAL POST AND IT IS VERY LONG I AM SORRY

[simmeons]

GAH guys formal apology if this shit is either really short and sweet or super long and sappy i fear i can not find a middle ground

FIRST OFF. YOU SNOWY. GRISPS YOU. ur literally one of my best friends i don't know u understand truly when i mention you in conversations you're a best friend and puuggg ilysm i love Snowbot i love all the fixations you go through i love just seeing you being happy and talking with me and in the server. Also I Am So Sorry About That Spider We Tried💔💔💔GELLPP but WAHHH I LOVE YOU i love how you can just DM me bout Justin Timberlake and then you'll be talking about how he gets 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 in a movie i love it so much you're my little tweaker

@vitoruwii no words could express my love for u vro. you're my platonic soulmate (because we all know Scotty is my romantic one heh i love my wife) i would give up my left arm for you. just not my right one i really like that one i need that one to draw Yorlik you understand the grind. i love how you've been with me through the recent drama with Those Who Shall Not Be Named and you've helped me become a better person. to this day i feel like the luckiest person to have you in my life because truly my wife would be so much more boring without you in it. i love our OCs and the relationships we've created between them, i love when we play overwatch together and i love when we do whiteboards. i don't know if you remember, but i remember years back when i first met you in the Ishimondo server and i just thought you were the coolest person ever. your art was gorgeous and you were such a creative mind. if i ever lost you i think it would be like reading Scotty dying in the book again. im ur omega forever bro trust❤️‍🩹

@aceship-sconesterprise I know we don't talk a lot one on one, but i don't really mind! i appreciate the friendship we have because you and Andi (who YES I WILL GET TO YOU TOO BRO) both directly got me into scones. It was your stories that got me into making a Tumblr account, just to follow you! I loved waking up everyday of June knowing there would be a devilish story waiting for me, and I can't express how special I feel knowing you've read mine too! I love randomly sending you things that remind me of you, even though every time I feel like a weirdo, you're very kind. I absolutely adore Ms Farie, Aporal, and the rest of your OCs- and I know I'll grow to love the other non-trek ones after I finally sit down and watch their source material! ...one day.. I did sorta watch a Numbers episode when I couldn't sleep at 1am I AM TRYING!!!!!!!! Anyways just know that I love you a lot and admittedly every time you go on your digital detox I get extremely sad and I miss you like a dog. But you didn't hear that from me okay

@thesconesyard of course I had to include you too, Andi! We don't interact a lot but I still value you a lot in my life. I'm so glad to see you're back to work on your cowboy Enterprise series, and I can't wait to see what you do with them next! Your slice of life posts, even if I don't engage all the time (mostly because I'm not all that active on this app anymore, oops) give me some comfort because it's a bit of a reality check. I'm sure I've already said it before, but you do inspire me to keep doing, stop thinking my life will magically end after I turn 20. You give me some hope in life as odd and silly as that sounds

@dilfoez hey there bro.... Heh... I absolutely love how we can bounce scones off one another, and I love the little tweaker mirror scones we've created together! Our doomed yaoi 💓 I love all your F/Os (and they love you too they told Scotty and then Scotty told me TRUST) and I love seeing ur cute posts about them ouugggh it makes me giggle I love happy relationships. One day I will watch Dead Man Waking... I promise u vro..

To any other moots of mine I haven't tagged, know I love you all very much as well! Please, PLEASE do not feel scared to talk to me or anything, I am very open to becoming closer with you all! I love everyone who leaves nice comments or reblogs. Hell, even a like makes me smile. Mmmwahh

favirote moots?

(People you tag have to reblog and say their favorite moots)

Okay wait

@ibrokeurheartbcuzubrokemine @foliverfalls @allyeilishh @addisonraesbaby @emiliesblohsh @bilsslut @noodleswashere @bilsbabyy @bitchesbrokenpromises @billsdollie

[polutrope]

Hey hey, I would love to hear your headcanons/thoughts on the Ambarussa in regard to the attack on Doriath if you feel like it!! <33

hey hey friend sorry to sit on this for so long (has it even been long? what is time?). anyway I am taking a pause from my research on twins kidnapdopted by feanorians to answer your ask on... feanorian twins.

Amrod and Amras' role in the second kinslaying hinges on Celegorm.

Some background: Since their youth, Celegorm was The Big Brother to Amrod and Amras. Canonically all three get shouted-out for being great hunters, so there's that. I also headcanon that relative ages mean that Maedhros was The Big Brother to Maglor, Celegorm, and Caranthir; Maglor was The (fucking annoying) Big Brother to Curufin (and Caranthir to an extent, but I digress); and Celegorm was The (fucking awesome) Big Brother to Amrod and Amras. He spoiled them. He made them wild and ungovernable.

(I have very specific headcanons about Amrod, and basically, if I can be anachronistic, he had BPD. Celegorm-as-most-present-brother both helped and did not help him out with this cluster of challenges.)

In Beleriand, A&A become estranged from their family, including Celegorm, over their failure to care at all about Amrod's suicide attempt (my headcanon about what happened at Losgar) and generally poor state of mind. Because who cares about the welfare of the two youngest sons when the eldest is captive?

Through the first age A&A remain pretty indifferent to their brothers. (When Caranthir joins them on Amon Ereb post-Bragollach it's pretty much all war and business. Not much brotherly bonding.)

That is until Maedhros commands them to hold Himring instead of fighting in the main assault in the Nirnaeth. This, and the aftermath, turns them actively against Maedhros.

And who is there to earn their trust when Maedhros has lost it? Their Big Brother Celegorm. (Yeah, the rumours about Luthien and Nargothrond aren't great but they weren't around for that and anyway they're inclined to think Thingol sucks.)

So when Celegorm starts making noises about assaulting Doriath, they're the first to get on board.

(Amrod and Amras are key to getting Maedhros and Maglor on side, btw. At that point, if Celegorm and Curufin want to march off and get killed, M&M would be there to give them a kick out of the door (or chain them up in a cellar, depending who they are planning to attack). But M&M can't have their (fully grown, warriors-and-leaders-in-their-own-rights) "baby brothers" get killed!)

(You'll notice I haven't said anything about Feanor or the Oath or the Silmaril motivating Amrod and Amras. Honestly, I have such a tangled web of headcanons about Feanorian relationships that I kind of forgot about them lol. But I'm going to stand by it: I think it makes sense for A&A. They swore the Oath, okay, but I think it's canonically defensible that it didn't mean nearly as much to them as to the other five: 1) there's the Shibboleth in which Crispy Amrod fully intended to just... go back to Aman?? 2) even in the published Silm they seem to just fuck off and stay out of it all as much as possible. As for Feanor and his shiny rock... I'm inclined to think they don't really think too fondly of him or his rocks tbh. He was a pretty messy dad by the time they came around, I reckon. So anyway, I find it more likely and compelling for them to be motivated by personal injury and power dynamics).

Back to Doriath: On the eve of battle, A&A learn of Celegorm's plan to find and take Dior's 7-year-old twin sons hostage against the possibility that the Silmaril isn't in Doriath when they win and/or the battle goes poorly (also a headcanon of mine), and Amras suddenly wakes up to how far their brother has fallen.

He and Amrod argue about it, with Amrod arguing that it's not worth dividing themselves over it now they've finally united under a common cause and have come so far (classic Feanorian sunk cost fallacy stuff). But eventually Amras appeals to his twin's compassion and Amrod goes along with his plan to inform Maedhros of Celegorm's intentions.

Only... Maedhros already knows about it. And he's letting Celegorm go ahead with it.

At this point, Amras wants to withdraw his and Amrod's forces from the assault.

Here's the thing: Of the sons of Feanor, Amrod and Amras at this stage have the largest fighting force under their command, given that the majority of their followers did not fight in the Bragollach or Nirnaeth. Moreover, they are the force specialised in archery, stealth, and fighting among the trees. They are the best-equipped against the Marchwarderns of Doriath -- still an impressive force despite being diminished. Without Amrod and Amras, Maedhros realises, there will be many more casualties and they may be forced to retreat without the Silmaril. It will all have been for nothing.

Maedhros confronts Celegorm -- which he hasn't done since his younger brother first began agitating for violence against Doriath. He commands him not to go ahead with his plan to take Dior's sons hostage. Celegorm grudgingly agrees.

The battle ensues, it's messy. (No details here I'm afraid -- I'm not even decided if I headcanon that it happens in Menegroth on on the outskirts of the forest. I believe both are attested in different texts?)

Celegorm, Caranthir, and Curufin are dead. Dior and Nimloth are dead. The Silmaril is nowhere to be found, and neither are Dior's sons.

Amrod is the first to clock the absence of "Celegorm's cruel servants" from their numbers. Hysterically, he demands to know where they are. A soldier finally admits to having seen them carrying the boys off into the woods. Amrod pulls his sword on the soldier and would have killed him but for Amras' staying hand.

Maedhros commands Amrod and Amras to begin the search (yes, deviating from canon -- Maedhros may have commanded it, but I think they all look for Elured and Elurin) while he tends to the bodies of their slain.

The search continues for days, and...

... aaaand I'm going to stop there because I'm getting carried away but might continue with more of the aftermath later if I have time??

[corviiids]

Within the main Phantom Thieves in persona 5, what would be the single worst pairing to get into a romantic relationship. It has to be awful and also compelling (I call Futaba x Ren a copout since that's immediately where my mind went and I want a more interesting answer).

this is a great question. i generally think most combinations of the thieves would be fine. ren in particular i think works fine with almost (almost) anyone. also i am not sure what you mean by "main" phantom thieves so for clarity i will include both sumi and akechi even though they don't REALLY count in the strictest terms because i want them there

ai wanna say all my answers below aren't like... criticisms so don't be upset if you like them... im not saying they're bad ships... i like any ship that's compelling even if the compelling bit is that i think they'd suck as a couple. these are the ships i simply think would be dysfunctional in some way and wouldn't work out in the long term and would crash out in a way that's mostly funny. most of the ships im about to name are actually quite popular and i don't dislike any of them!

5. ren/makoto

ok listen. this is only because to me makoto is a lesbian and hasn't worked it out yet. my personal projection of shumako is that they date for one (1) comphet week before she figures her shit out and dumps him. this can happen in the canon timeline. she can be his first ever girlfriend. it makes everything mildly awkward in the thieves for a minute and then becomes a story they laugh about forever. he insists she's his greatest heartbreak and she valiantly pretends it never happened

4. ren/sumi

just knocking out the only two ren ships i don't think would work. i actually DO like this ship i just don't ship it as an actual relationship. i ship it as sumi having a huge big obvious puppy crush on ren and ren gently warding her off for months because she's very obviously leaning on him in a vulnerable time and being with him at this point in their lives, i think, wouldn't really be good for her because her feelings for him are based in infatuation. i already think in canon we should have had another scene when sumi has her second awakening that she should have gotten a new un-jokered outfit because her arc is very much about coming into her own as an individual. i actually think years later when they're much older and she's more stable in her personal identity he could be interested in her but she's like sorry im over you now!!!

3. ryuji/ann

ok i don't deny they would be incredibly funny because they're constantly bickering and i actually do think in some universe they COULd work?? but i sincerely think they'd try to date in college because of how well they get along and they're maybe living together anyway but every time they try to kiss neither of them can take it seriously. finally ann is like alright bro let's give this one up okay and they go get bbq

2. akechi/ryuji

i actually change my mind there are no problems with this

1. akechi/yusuke

SORRY HAHAH I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE LIKE THESE TWO and they ARE entertaining and quite cute but to me personally i just can't see this EVER working out long term. yusuke's too blunt and his approach to his traumatic past and shitty father figure are completely diametrically opposed to akechi's. ive made posts abt this before and possibly talked about it in fic? yusuke's too authentic and sincere and non-bitter a person for this to work without prickling akechi constantly. i genuinely just think, like, they'd start dating because yusuke's like akechi you are fairly good looking would you consider modelling for me and akechi's like hair flip Of course I--what do you mean "fairly"

and then for their whole relationship yusuke's just peacefully and mostly accidentally insulting everything about akechi's entire being until akechi is paranoid to the point of hysteria. yusuke cannot stand how much akechi lies or how selfish he is. they fight every day. i know a lot of folks love this ship i am so sorry there is a lot to enjoy about it and they obviously have a lot in common and their interactions are excellent, but every time i think about them trying to date i can't not find it funny because i just think the inevitable crashout would be SO dramatic

[whenthelightisrunninglow]

how's the other guy holding up

[turtleblogatlast]

Things I make for myself when insomnia kicks in

Just a chart about what I wanna change up and keep consistent in my art - I mainly wanna draw Raph with a tail because he deserves one, it fits too well. Donnie gets a long tail too because I didn’t realize how dino-like he looks until I gave him one, and now it’s a must for me haha.

[sieglinde-freud]

let it be known that i love prince inigo with my whole soul. however sometimes it is SO much fun to think about owain and his two most loyal-est knights you ever seen: worst guy in the world #1 and worst guy in the world #2. i love retainer inigo and severa so much. retainers who bully you and make fun of you and trash on you but they’d leave behind everyone and everything they ever knew to follow you and protect you in a whole new universe. they love you so much that they’d swear allegiance to total strangers but that loyalty pales in comparison to what they’d do for you. and they were all lovers!!!!!!!

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

i am almost thirty years old. why must i still be plagued by the perpetual and unshakeable belief that everyone secretly dislikes me

[stuck-in-jelly]

Im surprised not a whole lot of people are talking about Lissa. Like after YEARS we finally got a full look into what actually happened and the full reason why she left.

Up until now we really only had Claudia’s and Viren’s perspective.

Claudia being upset and sad that her mother abandoned her and Viren frequently thinking of her but both believing it wasn’t fair.

Then we get Viren post resurrection clarity looking back and looking at the trust the full truth and it is utterly tragic. He doesn’t try to defend himself or frame what happened in a different light he fully faces what he did and admits it.

The reason Lissa left wasn’t just a conflict of morals but a betrayal of trust.

Its wasn’t about the tears that were needed for the spell it was about the fact she said “No” it was about the fact that she was already scared and trembling when he begun confessing everything to her.

Its not as if he came in and said “hey i found a spell I need your tears to save our son” no he walked in face rotting rambling about what he did to Kpp'ar and what rare creatures he has killed. He didn’t give her time to process, time to mourn.

Up to that point no one knew what happened to Kpp’ar just that he was missing, and Kpp’ar was more than just a mentor he was a family friend he was man who loved their children so much he was building them their very own carousel.

Then when she refused to give him tears out of fear inside of their own home he held her down, stopped her when she tried to fight, and physically hurt her so that she would cry.

Do you underst traumatic that is? This was her husband someone she loved and who she moved away from her home for someone she trusted.

She’d never be safe in that house again and she more than likely had no support. Her whole family was in Del Bar and in Katolis…the only person who would’ve had her back was Kpp’ar but he’s gone now by her husbands hands.

Viren has power here, influence, status.

And to mirror what Kpp’ar says to Viren after he attacked him: Prince Harrow trustes him.

In her eyes what else could she do, how could she continue to live in a home where she now knew for a fact would never be safe again? Live in a home no longer with her husband but a stranger

She did try to take her kids, but she tried to be fair to them to give them a choice. So when one child choose to stay of course she became scared, of course she’d also want her other child to stay so they’d have each other at least.

Was it the best decision in the end? No. But up to that point she hadn’t known Viren to be cruel to their children. He had hurt her for one of their children after all.

So in the end what else could she do?

[causenessus]

hi! i'll keep this short

i came to the realization everytime i've disappeared from tumblr to "take a break" i never really have because of other things going on in my life (which, duh, this isn't my whole life) but! i also realized that if i never actually take the time to recover and rest and think about things i should be writing i'll never feel better. so! i'm (once again)(but now more formally) going on hiatus until maybe may! i might pop in for spring break or earlier if i feel like it, but until then, not really any writing from me! with that being said, i'll still be around, doting on my moots (i.e. like, dorothea <3 wyr <3 and bug <3) because i love them so much and i will probably also post chapters of present ever so often! the reason being (i'm going to try to make this make sense but it may only make sense to me but i'm aware of how contradicting i am to me five seconds ago when i said i need to take a break from writing) present is a very personal fic for me that i've worked on for years at this point. what i'm posting now are chapters i wrote months ago after I've read over and edited them (or in the case of the upcoming chapter, i did randomly add it in and had to write it from the ground up last week lmao) but if it isn't obvious, present is a work i'm very passionate about and am just posting in case anyone else enjoys it but it feels like it's a work that is very individualized just for me and it doesn't cause me any stress or anxiety. on the topic of individualization, although i am of course so so thankful for all of the support and people that follow me, i do sort of miss when my blog and world were a lot smaller. it's something i feel like i only get when i get to reply to people in comments, but other than that, all the numbers and people on my feed give me a lot of anxiety. the hq (smau fandom especially) fandom or at least how much i'm (was) involved in it has grown exponentially and of course i'm happy about that but it's a bit too much for me. i'll be taking a huge step back from the fandom and any hq works i've written at least in the meantime, but that's not to say they'll never be finished! but i either need to grow to handle the bigger audience that now reads my works or wait for things to grow a little smaller again :) i hope to still be able to read my moots works but forgive me if it takes me a bit or i never get to them! i think at the least i'll still like them to show my support <3 thank you if you read my long ramble! i love you all <3

oh also i'll probably post self ship moodboards and the beginning of my reading list (thank you again dorothea for the idea <3)! but again, I think you get the idea by now; I want to go back to doing this for me! so this is a tiny little goodbye now i'm leaving for you all with forehead kisses and flowers and love notes and mwah <3 i'll see you around!

[mrbrightxside]

SHARE YOUR HEADCANNONS ABOUT CHRISTINAAAAA 🫶🫶

First, I'm so sorry for the late answer months later 😭😭🙏 Please forgive me and second!! Actually I hadn't thought of many headcanons for her... yet... but she's one of my favorite characters so ofc I thought of some!! I might say silly ones or ones more about her personal life (and definitely not projecting some parts!) I love Christina Posabule 🙏♥️

Music wise I think Christina would like 60s music, rock, and/or synth-pop or idk genres are hard to actually get right nowadays. If it's specfic, "The Daughters of Eve" and Mitski would be part of her favorites fjjdbrbnd (then I think she'd like The Killers especially "When You Were Young" when she was in her teens :)) Speaking of Christina in her teens, she'd want to learn piano or some sort of instrument but her parents probably got annoyed by how much she played so she wouldn't have as many chances. She's definitely a bookworm or just loves reading and also writes in her freetime like little stories or poems. And when Block ended up staying with Orel's family, she was kind of the only one who missed him as her parents didn't really mind/express their emotions about it.

Andddd talking about her parents, they're both VERY controlling and kept watch on what she'd do, the polar opposite with Orel, which his parents didn't gaf where he was 💔💔 Especially Poppit, and I think with Christina's story it'd be a toxic mother-daughter relationship (mommy issues!) rather than her and her dad, and that Poppit rather likes taking charge but to be in "a woman's place" y'know sexism and even tells Art what to do but makes sure that he does what a "man has to." And she'd be veryyy persistent on Christina with how she presents herself and make sure that she was a nice church girl at all times. And Poppit would very much have breakdowns in front of her and vent to her about her own issues... yeah... And whenever Christina was getting yelled at or being told what to do the only thing she could do is not say anything back to not upset them. She was also grabbed a lot like by her wrists or something similar how they showed in the show. When she moved to Moralton, she was bummed out bc yeah she just moved to a new place where she knows no one. Then when she met Orel something about him intrigued her and she's like Oooh y'know what I like this place already... then BOOM! Having to move again :( Also I don't know if it's just me but she's probably homeschooled or she's just attending another school jfjfnntnf and about her past town she'd be doing so many shenanigans during the same time as Orel probably. Another silly thing she might be more confident than him like I think he'd be more shy when he got older fjjdjnfbfn

Also yes Christina was sadistic I had to say it bc... we remember Orel's masochist era... And same thing with her being emo/goth when Orel was and at least for a while when they were teens👍👍 It's canon bc I said so

About when she's an adult, once Orel and her got married and had their kids, she'd be really worried about repeating anything her own mother used to do to her (along with Orel who'd try to be the best dad to his kids and would ask Christina if he was doing a good job if he was too worried about becoming anything similar to Clay or just anything otherwise) and I'm not quite sure about if whether she kept contact with her parents but she probably would but obviously has a strained relationship with them along with Orel's parents... But she would give her own family all her love :D also she's definitely working in a type of job I forgot which one but something that helps people bc she's sweet like that <3 so yeah girlboss !!

I might've forgotten some things to mention or other things I had in mind for her but yeah!! Or it was badly/worded weird perdón. Thanks for reading 💕

[ratsoncats]

I'm worried

Hi, I'm Gabe, I'm 19, and I live in the U.S.

I am a trans man. This is something that has been apparent to me for years now, and something I have suspected (or, in a way, hoped for) for most of my life. I have always felt a joy in aligning myself with the masculine as opposed to the feminine. There are countless personal experiences I could point to in order to show you how I know I'm trans. If you're curious, I could do that. But, for what I aim to say here, I don't think that is necessary. What's important to know is that I like living as a man, being seen as a man, and it burdens me with a deep discomfort and practical disgust to be perceived as anything but.

I've made a sort of peace with my body. My face isn't something I'd consider to be pretty and I keep my hair short. Baggy clothes cover my chest and the rest of my body well. Most days, no one has any idea that I'm trans and simply see me as some boy picking up a gallon of milk. I'm happy that that's the case; I know many others aren't as lucky. I still have my share of reservations about my body, though. I am perfectly fine with being short (to the extent that I even celebrate it), but my chest, my hips, and my thighs bring me dysphoria. (Genitals are a different story that I'd rather not get into on the internet with strangers.) These parts of me are usually easy to ignore, but when I focus on them for too long, sadness overtakes me. I don't want to look like this. I want to be flat, boxy, small. The image of myself in my head doesn't align with what I see in the mirror, and it drags me down.

Another part of me says that cisgender men can have bodies like this, too, and that I shouldn't feel like any less of a man because of it. A third part says that curvy and top-heavy trans men are still men all the same and that stressing over it won't bring any good. As much as it feels good to listen to these voices, I still long for my ideal body. I long because it's a personal desire of mine to look that way, plain and simple. I also long, however, to make day-to-day public life to go smoother. I want people to mistake me for a girl less and call me "sir" and "young man" more; I'd prefer my body to read as a more convenient physical shorthand for manhood.

So, for the sake of my comfort and continued enjoyment of my time on this earth, I'd like to change how my body looks. One way to achieve this would be through the use of testosterone, which, on top of rearranging the stores of fat in my body, would also provide me with the welcome bonus of increased facial and body hair. I am also very interested in receiving top surgery to make my chest more masculine. It lifts my mood just to think of what my body would be like after these treatments, even moreso to know that there is a real possibility that they could be done.

The current climate around trans topics worries me. All I want is to live comfortably, but discussions about criminalizing transness have me fearing the worst. I don't want to force anything onto anyone, to limit or in any way alter anyone's speech, insert myself someplace where I'm endangering others or putting them at a disadvantage, or publicly indulge in a fetish. I'm a simple man with simple desires of a flat chest and he/him pronouns, but there's an army formed against me and people with similar stories.

I'm an American. I believe in freedom. A deep respect for the freedom of speech is something my dad has instilled in me from a young age and that freedom is something I'm thankful for. I believe that if someone wants to say something, they should be able to, and that if someone wants to do something, given that it doesn't bring harm to anyone else (or their property, etc.), they should be able to do it.

There are gray areas that come with that idea, yes, but those are outside the scope of this discussion. What I want to address here are procedures that improve a person's quality of life, procedures like gender-affirming surgery. If this so-called "mutilation" is as bad as some would say, why are so many people happier for having undergone it? Should consenting adults really be kept from personal pursuits like top or bottom surgery? Cis people get cosmetic surgeries all the time, but I don't see the public uproar about those procedures being mutilation. I would also like to ask, what does it matter to you whether someone's genitals could cause or support a pregnancy? The decision to raise a child is a very personal one, and I don't think the general public's ideas need to hold much weight in a potential-parent-to-be's decision making process. If someone is okay with the fact that their body may not work as before and will have visible scars, I think they should be completely within their right to have a surgery or take hormones.

I'd like to revisit the topic of free speech. Someone speaking about their experiences and feelings in their body and about their gender should not be considered pornographic. The average conversation about trans people in no way serves to provide sexual stimulation. Topics regarding genitals and sex should not be confused with explicit content; sex ed is taught in schools, isn't it? Education on these topics is important for many reasons and can prevent unwanted, painful, and dangerous situations. Conversations about transness are simply a dialogue about people's experiences, often with the intention of educating their audience. Given that they aren't intended to get the audience off, they are not porn. People living their lives is not porn. Transness isn't porn.

It deeply concerns me to see people misconstruing what it means to be trans and trying to limits trans healthcare and voices. I have hope for the future, but recent discourse has buried that under a layer of anxieties.

I'm just a boy, sitting at his laptop, worrying about if he's going to have to live with B-cups for the next ten years of his life. Being vocal about issues like this is important. This is how change happens.

The conditions were just so that I decided it was about time I write this. This is my first time posting something like this, but I don't think it'll be my last. Let's keep this conversation going, and let's make this country and this world a place we're happy to call home.

[bookatans]

This is probably going to be a very long post but the more I think about the rise (and subsequent fall) of the New Mandalorians, the more that I get wrapped up in not only the colonialism committed by Satine and the movement, how it began in such a horrifyingly understated way, but also how it paved the way for Mandalore to be destroyed thanks to the almost-complete erasure of their culture.

First of all, Canon verse deciding to remove the True Mandalorians (and placing the "Old" Mandalorians in a similar, though less prominent position) feels particularly underhanded and paints everything in a black and white manner. Satine: a sympathetic character who is the only one standing against Death Watch, the last shred of peace left for Mandalorians to cling to. Which. Last standing? Yes, definitely. But not the only one.

A war where Death Watch and the New Mandalorians were the major players, only to have Death Watch defeated – even with the assistance of the Jedi keeping Satine alive – makes little sense from a technical standpoint. Is it impossible? Probably not. All sorts of things can happen in history, pure dumb luck makes every difference, but it's unlikely. A party which seeks peace is not going to survive against another ultra violent, volatile party that's pissed off at you because you want to erase the culture that they so deeply value.

Which, yeah I don't buy it. Even with the Republic stepping in later on, it's fishy. But for the sake of my sanity, I'm mostly focusing on Legends, because the more you try to create a coherent timeline (seriously, how is Clone Batch Math easier than this?) for the Mandalorian Civil Wars, the harder it is not to give up entirely.

Anyways. Satine did not survive years of conflict due to mere smarts and perseverance, and did not end the war by being charismatic and having good people skills. She was the LEAST THREATENING PARTY in a three-party war, hunkering down with her Jedi protectors and playing politician while the actual warriors in the conflict weakened one another and – for the True Mandalorians – were wiped out.

True Mandalorians. Death Watch. New Mandalorians.

So, okay. The approximate dates of the beginning and end of the Mandalorian Civil Wars don't necessarily make sense with Satine’s age. She'd have been slightly younger, and Canon seems to have a tendency to just wave their hand in the general direction of a time period and deflect onto another topic.

Which, you know what? Fine. I can work with that without having to think too hard about the dates. It kills me not to delve into it further, but. No. It's not like Disney's gonna pay me to fix their broken timeline.

(But if I had to, I'd shift Jaster's death to 47BBY instead of 52BBY, and push the Battle of Galidraan a year back to 43BBY, and—)

Here's what's important to remember, though:

- There are two Mandalorian Civil Wars. The first being True Mandalorians vs Death Watch. The second being the much shorter, and quickly solved Death Watch vs the New Mandalorians.

- The massacre of the True Mandalorians happened shortly before the beginning of the second civil war.

- The True Mandalorians had already been dealing with Death Watch for years, and they were winning. Death Watch wasn't just on the run, they were weak, they had to resort to TRICKING THE JEDI into killing the True Mandalorians for them.

Who wasn't weak? The New Mandalorians, the people that actively choose to turn their back on a culture that had survived for centuries. And yes, Death Watch remained even after the True Mandalorians fell. Tor Vizsla targeted Satine and the New Mandalorians viciously after that, there was even more destruction, but it wasn't with the severity with which he'd prosecuted the True Mandalorians.

Here's what happened next: Jango Fett escaped his enslavement. He hunted down Tor Vizsla, and he killed him. Whatever strength Death Watch had regained in those few years didn't matter, because the second their leader was gone they were certainly left unorganized and at a disadvantage.

Giving the New Mandalorians the opening they needed to cement in people's minds to their beliefs and convince the House and Clan leaders that abandoning their old ways was the solution. After all, how much more of Mandalore was left to destroy? How many more had to be lost?

With the public's approval and the Republic’s help, Satine Kryze and the New Mandalorians scavenged the corpse of Mandalore, and they took what they deemed fit, left the rest to rot and – given time – be erased completely.

What's worse is that Satine's activism and speeches made it sound like that made sense (because, to Satine, it did make sense); abandon what Mandalore once was because that's the reason we've been destroyed, isn't it? (Not entirely untrue.) And these people, whose world had been ravaged, who's clans and families had wrecked everything with in-fighting, were tired and desperate enough that they listened.

Actually, here's what's really worse — Satine got LUCKY! The first time! It should not have ended like that. But because she got lucky, because it worked once, she tried to do the exact same thing when the entire galaxy went to war. And she ignored the suffering of people whom she should have known empathy towards, who were going through the very same torment she experienced as a child. Because her position of superiority where peace is the only answer was so ingrained in her beliefs, because she was ARROGANT.

And because peace was the only answer, because she'd disavowed any sense of warrior culture from her people, Satine had as much a hand in dooming Mandalore as everyone who went in with the worst intentions. Does it matter that it was doomed regardless, because Maul was the great evil that came to destroy them? No. Maul was just the most convenient means to an end the resurrected Death Watch could find, but if not him it would have been anyone — anything – else.

I do feel for her. She had to experience her father's death so young and step into a role he'd left behind, didn't get a proper chance to grieve because she had to be strong for everyone else who was grieving. She gave up the possibility of love for duty. Satine was a good leader, I won't argue that, and she was the last stand between Mandalore and total annihilation, but she was also deeply flawed.

[masterfuldoodler]

Ok so I've been admiring ur art for a while and was wondering about the story of your characters? Like, the beginning so I understand? Cuz they sound fantastic and I wanna know what's happening but I don't. So is there like a story or comic I can read to know who they are? Thx <3

Hi! Aww thank you so much, that makes me so happy! Okay lemme do my best to explain…

So I have about five different stories that I'm posting doodles of, and I have a tag for each of them. The bad news is there is no starting point :/ I don't haven't started making the story for real, and there's no first draft even. But sometimes I do share more plot-focused doodles! So like exploration in characters or plot points that could happen!

The Keepers is the biggest of the stories! It's a collab project with @meadow-rose. With four Main Characters and multiple "books". It's kinda like a crossover of different heroes stories. The current plan for the beginning of the story is with Dauntless! Some of the other stories in the Keepers is Ageless War, "hospital wip", Phasmaologist, the boarding school, and the Wizard's side!

Deepwood is another collab project with @meadow-roses. This one is still in the drafting stage so there's no beginning for it right now, mostly just art of the characters and fun little comics.

Thistled Rose of Glishirn (ThRoG) is my writing project! I hope to write it one day (I started but didn't get very far.) So I've been doodling as I figure out the pieces to my puzzle.

Saint Joseph's Angel is a very small project. I have the main characters figured out, but it's in such loose shape I don't know how to tell it. It's gonna take a lot of work to get that one in order.

Shepherdess wip is a tiny little collab with @meadow-roses about a shepherdess and a knight.

Hopefully giving some names for different stories can help clear up what's going on, why is there so many different people. I try to tag everything with the right stories and people too! Mostly my blog is just where I share my doodles and I haven't quite gotten to the place of telling a full story. I would love to one day, but I gotta keep practicing and working out the wrinkles. I am very sorry to bring such bad news of there being no place to read these stories or actually figure out what's going on.

But if you are wanting to look at some of my first draft ideas I can link you to my masterpost of stuff! Plot things for the Keepers and for ThRoG. Also links to me trying to explain stuff for Keepers and ThRoG. And my mini wiki for the Keepers!

Anyway, sorry for such a bummer of an answer to your question, it makes me really happy though that you think it's interesting! I gotta get working on it so I have actually something to share!

[son-of-avraham]

Mazel Tov!

I saw quite a while ago you mentioned that you were considering doing something like hatafat dam brit, so I'm just wondering, did you end up doing that? Of course no pressure to share if you don't want to, I'm not trying to make you defend your Jewishness or anything, I'm just curious because that's something I might do.

I'm the same anon that originally asked you if trans men do brit milah

I want to clarify that I thought about doing something symbolic, and to be clear (and as far as I'm aware), no movement requires you to do the brit or hatafat dam brit if you're a man (or otherwise) of trans experience. My rabbi was hesitant to force me into doing brit, but when I actually told him I'm trans, he was like, "yup, that checks out, good on you for having the privilege of being about check out of that obligation." It's not a big deal at all if you do not or are not able to fulfill this mitzvah. I just opted out of that and carried on, it is not deep at all. I cannot speak on other trans experiences, so you have to remember that this isn't universal.

While I didn't need to do it, I still have knowledge about how it would have went down for me if I did, and from what I know, this is pretty similar in many places. I'll take the time to outline it here because I think there are some anxieties people have about all of this, and I don't think it needs to be a stressful or humiliating experience. Always be sure to ask your rabbi about the particulars, though. I'm speaking in generalities.

So, first, they would have exposed about a square centimeter of skin - they do not want to see your business, truly. Any skin that doesn't need to be exposed will be covered up. When they go to prick the skin, it is with a very small needle because you really only need a tiny amount for a valid hatafat dam brit. I can assure anyone reading this now that it won't hurt unless your pain tolerance is abnormally low. They don't use a big gauge at all because it isn't necessary, and I can tell you right now for a fact that it is going to be the least problematic part of the entire process. For me, they'd've done it a little before the mikvah, but I think it's common for it to be done prior to that moment.

The things that seem the scariest to people converting (hatafat dam brit and the full immersion with a witness) are often very, very unintimidating when you actually experience it. I was a bit nervous to do my immersion, but my rabbi witnessed it and there was a railing I hung my robe over for modesty. We don't want you to feel humiliated or embarrassed over these things, but I do think it's a very powerful, very human experience. For me going in the mikvah, I felt very human, if that makes sense. We want you to have that experience. We want you to know what it feels like, to have thousands of years of people - of lives - surrounding you all at once. That's what we are about.

[aiscapades]

girl i had huge crush on in school who was a very good friend to me she's so smart and wonderful and kind just told me she's proud of me for inquiring about a breast reduction i literally started crying what the absolute fuck I'm so gay and so deprived of love in my daily life what the fuck kck .?? HELLO??

[suddencolds]

// personal

how strange it is to observe yourself changing