#THIS HAS TO BE MY FAV EDIT I'VE EVER MADE

[itsjaywalkers]

guys i've been writing the iwtywmm sequel all day but i haven't stopped thinking about the overprotective james series like . at all . not even for a single second

[two-white-butterflies]

★ — it was all yellow | carlos sainz

Description: After finding Carlos in bed with an internet starlet, you decided to break up with him. 5 years later, you meet him again.

Pairing: actress/singer!reader/carlos sainz

Trope: Secret Baby Trope

Disclaimer: Everything written in this fanfic holds no truth about anyone's personality or actions. It is made purely for entertainment.

A/N: I got so many requests for this typa trope and I only got the idea now. Super sorry for the 6 month delay WAHHAHA.

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yn.ln: the vibe that we bring to the function. btw 💚 HOTDS2 is out!

liked by danielricciardo and 71,923 others

>comments

danielricciardo: Helaena Targaryen >>> - edited: Helaena Targaryen <<<

echibano82: MAN!! 😭

ynforever: the rise and fall of a midwest princess is my fav album of urs

formula.unoworld: sainz fumbled a baddie

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because.official: Carlos and Pinon 😘❤️ #MyHeart

liked by carlossainz55 and 6,293 others

>comments

foreveryoung78: Wake up Carlos the fatherhood allegations are strong today

solonglondon: U ever heard of a boy named Pablo Sainz? 😳

bestfriendsfw: miss Because...go and tell ur mans - landofanbase: HER NAME ALWAYS TAKES ME OUT 😭 WHY IS HER STAGE NAME "BECAUSE"

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WHO IS CARLOS SAINZ'S NEW GIRLFRIEND? BECAUSE...

Brezziana Aziza, whose stage name is Because has gained fame because of her relationship with Formula One Driver Carlos Sainz Jr. Previously known on social media as an influencer who vlogs about her daily life, netizens began to call her "Because" well because of her excessive use of that word.

Although she has stopped using that word since, the name has stuck. She is currently under fire for visiting a Shein Factory in China. For more details please click this link: Shein sent American influencers to China.

>comments

becauseunitedfanbase: she's so funny n quirky i get it why carlos loves her

breatheinlouder: if pablo does belong to sainz, brezziana broke a family up - corduroy8chan: the family broke because sainz allowed it to be broken, she's homewrecker because...? - becauseunitedfanbase: more like home renovator

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Just an Inchident (Charles L., Max V., Lando N., Carlos S.)

Carlos Sainz holy shit guys did you see twitter

Charles Leclerc Yeah man Is it real?

Lando Norris i did some research and this kid's 6-4 yrs old there's a chance mates

Carlos Sainz how am i even supposed to ask her? it was so awkward when it ended i totally regret doing that to her but im so happy with because now

Charles Leclerc There's a fat chance that the kid is yours man

Lando Norris ask her like a civilized man dude i saw a reel where someone asked her if pablos yours

Max Verstappen Who uses reels mate? 🤣 2 reacted 🤣

Lando Norris well she avoided the question silence means yes if you aren't the father she'd answer it

Carlos Sainz maybe she wants to torture me

Charles Leclerc She's a good person man I don't think that she'll do that Plus she's above using her son for leverage

Carlos Sainz and how do you know that Charles? we haven't spoken to her in years

Max Verstappen She grabs coffee with Victoria on Tuesdays I've actually known about Pablo for a while now

Carlos Sainz 👍🏻 2 reacted 🤣

Max Verstappen 👍🏻 .

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yn.ln: i want a velaryon burial #HOTDS2

liked by 93,192 others

>comments

danielricciardo: the camera quality sucks just letting you know - yn.ln: thanks! i have eyes btw

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yn.ln: A lot of you wanted to comment and ask questions about my son, and I never really posted about him because I'm not like those parents who use their kids on social media for likes and clout.

Five years ago, I gave birth to my first baby, Pablo L/N (09/12/18) and every day has been filled with laughter and warmth 🦋 he was not a secret, but I tried to keep his life private. Now, a lot of people feel like they have the right to know everything about him. What he looks like. Who his father is. I'm telling you that it doesn't matter.

You don't have the right to his face. You don't have the right to know about his family life because it doesn't concern you and it never will.

Thank you so much to my friends!! @danielricciardo @rileykeough #DakotaJohnson and #ChrisMartin

liked by 1,239,901 others

>comments

danielricciardo: ❤️

rileykeough: 🥺 i love you and p

victoriaverstappen: We love you! - yn.ln: thank you vic, playdate with luka and lio soon? - victoriaverstappen: Absolutely!

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email to destinybumgarneroffice@gmail.com (Y/N L/N publicist) from danielkirkmanhq@gmail.com

Good morning Dessie.

This is Carlos Sainz Jr's publicist, Daniel Kirkman, in light of the rumors between my client and Miss Y/N L/N we humbly request the truth about Pablo L/N's paternity in order to legally and publicly clear things up. Speaking as your old friend, these past few months have been stressful both physically and mentally. Even if there's a sliver of hope that the kid is Carlos' please update me.

Warm regards, Daniel Kirkman.

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email to danielkirkmanhq@gmail.com (Y/N L/N publicist) from destinybumgarneroffice@gmail.com (Carlos Sainz Jr's publicist)

Good afternoon Mr. Kirkman.

I can see that the years have hardly changed you, you still have horrible email etiquette. Because we are old friends, I spoke to Y/N. Truth is, the things that I'm going to share today will ruin your client's reputation if our emails are ever leaked. Remember the fallout of 2018? We both celebrated New Years in Y/N's Santa Monica House.

Actually, New Years was the day we found out that she was pregnant. Not a doubt in our hearts that the baby was Carlos'. We were about to tell him but the moment we landed in Ibiza, she saw Carlos in bed with Brezziana. (I refuse to call her Because!! BECAUSE it is confusing and preposterous.)

I think that hiding Pablo from his father wasn't right, but I don't blame her for doing it. As for the paternity test, Y/N agreed but the team will come back to you with the legalities and such. As a 'friend' I want to tell you that the best Carlos is ever going to have is him paying child support and seeing the child once or twice a month.

Y/N has a lot of lawyers, more than we do friends. And judging by Carlos' personality, I don't think that he'll fight for his son.

Warm Regards, Destiny Bumgarner

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email to destinybumgarneroffice@gmail.com (Y/N L/N publicist) from danielkirkmanhq@gmail.com

Good evening Destiny! What makes you think that Y/N's going to win the legalities? + I never expected you to reveal all of this via chat. You sure that I won't betray you?

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email to danielkirkmanhq@gmail.com (Y/N L/N publicist) from destinybumgarneroffice@gmail.com (Carlos Sainz Jr's publicist)

I got dealt with the winning hand now Dan.

I know you're smart enough not to doubt me. :)

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email to destinybumgarneroffice@gmail.com (Y/N L/N publicist) from danielkirkmanhq@gmail.com

All is fair in connections and clientele?

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email to danielkirkmanhq@gmail.com (Y/N L/N publicist) from destinybumgarneroffice@gmail.com (Carlos Sainz Jr's publicist)

All is fair in life, Dan.

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oliviacooke: sorry for drinking your juice hun. 📸 pablo l/n

liked by 283,192 others

>comments

yn.ln: haha thanks for carrying his bags liv

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There are only two things. Truth and lies.

Truth is indivisible, hence it cannot recognize itself; anyone who wants to recognize it has to be a lie.

The past that you've tried to bury has slowly began to reveal itself. Maybe it was your fault, you aren't sure...

Carlos Sainz was a horrible man. He cheated on you. He didn't apologize. He admitted that another woman made him happier. Was there something special about her? A simple internet starlet with no proper claim to fame made him feel more alive.

"You've got to face him anyways." Dakota placed a glass of wine on the coffee table. "Pablo isn't his. He doesn't even look like him." you shook your head, unable to accept the inevitable truth.

"I've read all the posts on Twitter, they don't think that I have the right to push my son away from his father. Carlos is immature, I don't think that he's even capable of being a father." you scoff, taking a sip.

Haven't you given your son everything that he needed? An iPad, a big house, private education, and vacations in all the nice places.

"Two wrongs don't make a right." Destiny breathed.

"- from what Kirkman says, Carlos has changed. I don't encourage you to be romantic partners or even best friends, but please be civil for Pablo. Please let him have a civil relationship with his father." she added. "I hate it when you're right." you looked away.

You've seen his posts. You've seen his interviews.

There wasn't a bone in his body that screamed mischievousness anymore. He looked tame. Happier.

He achieved all of that without you, and maybe you could be that too.

You can be everything without him too.

"So you'll talk to him?" Dakota asked.

"I'll give it a try." I relented.

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Look at the stars.

Look how they shine for you.

The music played in the background as you sashayed your way into the VIP section of your friend's restaurant. Destiny was an angel enough to close shop and ensure that your privacy was protected especially in these vulnerable moments.

A sigh escapes your mouth, hearing that song in the background. As much as you adored Chris Martin, this song was getting in your feels.

You take a sharp turn, halting once you see his figure.

The very same man that shattered your world in Ibiza. The very same man that looked you in the eyes while he admitted that someone else made him much much happier than you, his fiancee.

And it was called Yellow.

"Thank you so much for being here, Y/N." your name sounded soft on his lips. Behind his brown eyes, there was sorrow - not to be confused with regret because he looked better than he ever was. "It's been a while, hasn't it?" you chuckled.

While nothing about you has changed.

Carlos has changed drastically.

"Destiny told me about the emails. Your team wanted a paternity test, right? You don't need it, Pablo is yours." you decided to be straightforward, not bothering to sugarcoat the truth.

You could feel that bitterness on your throat, like tears were threatening to spill out of your eyes, like you just swallowed a pill and forgot to drank water afterwards.

"Uhh - I found out on New Years day, and I wanted to tell you in Ibiza." you didn't bother to continue the story. He knows what you mean.

For you I'd bleed myself dry.

"I'm sorry, really sorry for not being a man. I know that we were about to get married, and I got scared. I was 24 years old, everyone was telling me that I had another life ahead of me. I was young. I wanted to ruin my life. I-I shouldn't have brought you with me." he apologized, trying to find the words that could articulate his feelings.

This was all that you needed from him.

An apology.

"When Destiny found out, she grabbed me by the ear. Told me that I could live a hundred lifetimes and never deserve you. I believe her, and I want to do everything to make it up to you and Pablo." he promised, but there were still words unsaid - the turn of his brows telling you that he wasn't willing to return back to normal.

That he still loves Because more than he's ever loved you.

"Do you love her?" you smiled bitterly. Your smile.

Look how they shine for you.

"I betrayed both of you that night. She didn't know that we were dating. She didn't know who I was. I apologized to her and she forgave me, but I realized a few years after that I should've apologized to you too." he admitted. "- I love her, really."

You knew that he wasn't lying.

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destinybumgarner: this is the PINK PONY CLUB

liked by 712 others

>comments

yn.ln: WAHAHAH IM JUST HAVING FUN

danielkirkman: crowns c / o pablo the prince

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part two

A/N What driver or actor should we pair reader with? 😭 comment to get tagged

[arkhammaid]

— ˚₊‧⁺˖ THE SIREN'S CALL.

fandom. formula one

pairing. oscar piastri x fem!reader (fc: none)

about. y/n is a professional mermaid and oscar is her greatest admirer

content warnings. social media au spanning over a long time, not edited/proofread

notes. i got one of those aesthetic professional mermaid tiktoks on my fyp at like 2am... the idea has been stuck in my head since then lol

YOURUSERNAME

liked by mermaidaquilla, oscar piastri and 1'788 others

yourusername Conquering the big seas with my new mermaid tail. Super excited for the big show this weekend🧜‍♀️

mermaidaquilla gorgeous pictures, the color really suits you <3

⤷ yourusername thank you, aquilla 🫶 we need to go for a dive soon!

⤷ mermaidaquilla oh for sure, let me know when you have time :)

user you're incredible, y/n

user oh my god these pictures are insane??

user i can't wait for the show, going to an aquarium just for you!

⤷ yourusername ahh, thank you so much for your support darling 💗

YOURUSERNAME

liked by mermaidaquilla, oscarpiastri and 35'023 others

yourusername Happy (future) World Oceans Day! @/mermaidaquilla and I'll be doing a special show on June 8th, streaming on several platforms to raise awareness and money for our oceans 🌊 We await your attendance, tell your friends and family about it!

mermaidaquilla so happy to do this show with you love!

⤷ yourusername me as well, i'm so honored we will do this together 🥹

user oh my god, collab of my dreams finally come true

⤷ user so happy for y/n to be recognized by the bigger creators!

user marking the day on my calendar!

user my daugher loved you in your last show, thank you for brining magic a bit closer to us

user hold on, what is oscar doing in her likes...

⤷ user who??

YOURUSERNAME

liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren and 100'244 others

yourusername I've started diving when I was just a little girl and now my job is my child hood dream... I'm a mermaid and belong to the seas. I'm so thankful for all the support I've received, hopefully to many years to come with Mermaid Y/n 💕🪸

mermaidaquilla your journey is incredible, i admire you so much for your drive, you're the mermaid of my dreams. so happy for you that you've made it love!

⤷ yourusername without you it wouldn't have been possible!! i can only thank YOU for being my biggest supporter since the beginning 💗

user every time i'm blown away by the pictures you post

user thank you for making the mermaid community bigger!

user MOTHER Y/N WE'RE SO PROUD

user mother is mothering FR

user HOLD ON WHY IS THERE A MAN ON THE LAST SLIDE??

⤷ user so i'm not the only one who noticed??? is this an official soft launch????

⤷ user i think so? y/n never posted someone without tagging them..

⤷ user our mermaid found her merman 😭

oscarpiastri Congratulations, y/n. You absolutely deserve it 👏

⤷ user OSCAR COMMENTED!!! I REPEAT, OSCAR COMMENTED!!!

⤷ user oh he's brave

⤷ user you mean more like he finally got his shit together. this is his first comment ever after being a whole year in her likes 💀

OSCARPIASTRI

liked by yourusername, landonorris, logansargeant and 1'983'034 others

oscarpiastri "She's everything and I'm just Ken."

yourusername But you're very good at car, love 🫶

⤷ oscarpiastri At least that 🫡

user OSCAR HAS A GF, I REPEAT, OSCAR HAS A GF AND SHE'S PRETTY!!!

user omg barbie y/n and her clumsy ken, i love this

landonorris congrats mate!

logansargeant FINALLY!

⤷ oscarpiastri You're acting as if we just came together...

⤷ logansargeant Well, it did take you long enough

user my new fav wag

⤷ user fr, no one can beat a mermaid

user HE FINALLY BAGGED THE GIRL!!

⤷ user took him over a year in the likes.. i feel so proud

user hold on... DOES ANYONE REMEMBER LUCY'S THREAD ABT THE BIRTHDAY PARTY IN JANUARY WITH Y/N AS MERMAID

⤷ user WAIT I THINK YOU'RE ACTUALLY ONTO SMTH

⤷ user are you saying that 'prince eric' is OSCAR MF PIASTRI???

⤷ user his sister is an icon if this is actually true

⤷ user someone give her an award for the greatest matchmaker of the decade (right after oscar and y/n receiving one of the greatest lovestory of the decade)

⤷ user childhood friends to lovers with a twist (only if the whole thing is true which i'm manifesting rn)

user my god the delusion some people have 💀

taglist.@keyz-writes , @obsidianjewel , @aimixx , @themercyverse , @lem-hhn , @lupicalbestwolf , @akiraquote , @lilypadlover , @adorablezhui , @peqch-pie , @namgification

DO YOU WANT TO JOIN THE TAGLIST? please send a non-anon ask to be added to the taglist. taglist can be general taglist (all fandoms and all works), fandom taglist (all works within the fandom), series (all works for specific series) or nsfw taglist (all nsfw works and all fandoms).

crossed off tags mean i can't tag you!

ARKHAM MAID 2024

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

@gothcsz was kind enough to tag me in this cute tag game and btw, run to see her fav things made by her and support her and her work, she’s such a brilliant writer! ♥️

And thanks to @arcanefox207 for tagging me as well! Check out her fics and gifs, I promise they’re so fucking good 🙌🏻♥️

Complimenting myself is the hardest thing I can do, I don't even know where to start. I don't think there's anyone more vehement than me in telling me how much I suck. Well, maybe my mom wins, but that's another story.

However, I will try to fight this state of mind. There are things that I have enjoyed writing and some mood board I love, I won't even venture to say they are good but there you go:

Fics:

• Perfect - because I wrote it at two in the morning crying, after listening to Omar Apollo's “Pedro” and “Glow”, it was one of the first things I posted here and apparently someone liked it thankfully. And it features a Curvy!reader which is very important to me.

• Shirt On - You know I have a soft spot for Sub!Joel and I'm glad I was able to even publish something like this.

• The right ones - I really liked writing this one. because it was my first attempt to write something with as neutral a reader as possible so that all menstruating people can identify.

• It feels like hope - With this one I had an incredible struggle because it never seemed good enough, it took me like 3 months to come down to terms with myself. Again, I'm my own biggest enemy.

• Slow - It came out in a frenzy and I love it.

• We all need someone - brought me a couple of recs that I still reread when I feel an unworthy crap typing things on a keyboard. Thank you very much to those who loved it.

• You know what I love? - I wrote it after getting very little sleep at night, it is probably far too cheesy but that is okay.

• Please - I'm very glad that I wrote this in a different way than I usually do, and I'm glad that I wrote something else that a lot of people can identify with.

•. You look like a fun place to sit, Give me more and Sensitive - Unexpectedly I'm very glad I wrote Frankie, it wasn't in my 2024 bingo card that he would become my most popular character but thank you really, I'm happy you liked him.

• Don't say a word if this word is not "please" - I wrote this one long before Gladiator 2 came out and I don't think it resembles anything that was written at the time. I'm glad I tried to do something different even though no one read it lol

• A Quiet Neighborhood - I'm glad I even had the guts to start a series, by the way, sorry I'm incredibly late in updating it but I'm trying to finish my fic for the Secret Santa and I've had a lot of work and very little time to write. I hope to have more time and focus from Thursday onward when I will at least have completed the deadlines for my second job. Thank for your patience and thanks for being so enthusiastic and supportive about it.

Mood boards:

I’m the absolute worst when it comes to Canva but I’m so proud I tried to make something and I have fun doing it.

• Be still, my foolish heart - this was my first mood board ever and I know it’s pretty lame but I love it 🥲

• Shirt On - I don’t know why but I love this mood board LOL

• It feels like hope - again, pretty bad but I love the dark vibe in it and I love that Joel pic so much

• Something Rotten - I think it was pretty on point with the fic lol I like it

• Waffles for breakfast- I don’t know, it looks cozy like the fic itself

• A good grade - I loved making this mood board and it looks pretty decent

• A quiet neighborhood - I don’t know, I think it encapsulates pretty well what I have in mind

• Forget the horror here - I just love it lol

Tag game:

I loved the Front Covers tag game and I loved how they turned out.

Special mention to this one that I made with an edit by @aurorawritestoescape I’m still so honored that you sent this to me thinking of my fic 🥰

Thank you to every single person who has supported me, reblogged and commented on the things I write, we know it's critical to getting views in this chaos that is Tumblr, if anyone reads me I owe it only to you, especially those who reblogged me from the beginning, you know who you are and I love you so much.

Again, I know I'm still a small account even though I have a lot more followers than I think I deserve and there’s so many people a lot more talented than me in this place but thank you for trying to convince me otherwise and for keeping me going, maybe one day I'll believe it too. You’re really truly fucking special and I hope you know ♥️

NPT: @milla-frenchy @aurorawritestoescape @baronessvonglitter @almostempty @cas-readsandwrites @probablyreadinsmut @thundermartini @joelmillerisapunk @mountainsandmayhem @penascigarette @evolnoomym @syd-djarin and whoever wants to do this consider yourself being tagged by me.

(Sorry if you’ve been tagged already, I’m the usual mess 😅)

[selysie]

small appreciation post for my fav blogs, mutuals + girlfriend/wife because they deserve it ,, and it's almost the end of 2024 !! so why not i spread some kindess and appreciation before the year ends ? <3 /silly /pos

( mwy wifey :3 ) @dwollies♡ — KOKO／AELIAAA SWEETHEARTTT !!! AKA MY LOVE ,, DARLING ,, MY EVERYTHING ,, MY SWEETIE ,, AND DEAREST WIFEY !! 💗 THE FIRST PERSON WHO KNEW ABOUT MY EDITING BLOG JOURNEY, AKA MY DARLING WIFEY !! geniuely i am so grateful for everything you did tbh,, im soo in love with yew... /aff /pos /srs /silly ,,, you are the main reason why i started editing and have started an editing blog ,, you've inspired me start editing because i fell in love w your graphics ( + you <3 /srs ) ,, you have been there w me since the start of my editing blog journey, you were right by my side supporting me and encourged me to do the stuff that i like doing .. and I can't believe that you're also my girlfriend !! /pos /aff you are the prettiest ,, sweetest ,, kindest ,, coolest and most talented girl ever !! ( do not deny because this is an appreciation post ,, and this is especially made for you cause i love you a lot and the most /srs ) !!! .. (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) && there's so much words i wanna say but i can't describe it :(( ,, but i just wanna say you're the sweetest and most talented girl ever, im very grateful that I've met you and you definitely made my days better everyday !! >-< 💗💗 even including the small talks, I'm very grateful.. I'll never stop falling in love with you and you are my most beloved person I'll ever cherish and love the most, i love you so much wifeyy <33 mwah 💗 I LUV YOU SO MUCH ONCE AGAIN AYYAYAHAHAJ >:3c + ganqing is us irl .. /pos /aff /silly YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING AND EVERY GOOD THING IN EXISTENCE >:3 /srs also js wanted yew to know that I'll always be there for you, every single moment and I'll listen to you yap /srs. I'll stay anytime and wait for you :3 !!! and I am your #1 fan , supporter hehe... /srs i love u so much geniuely, and you are the reason why I'm still here atp cus you are the most supportive person ever.. Ilysm wifey. 🫶🏻

@saeriji — AAA SAE !! you've been there since i have started my editing journey here ,, one of the first people I've ever interacted with !! you are one of my inspirations ever since I've started ,, your edits + your editing style is gorgeous (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) although it has been a while we have interacted /nbr ,, i am still very grateful that we chat sometimes even though it's not much!! + i'm very happy to see that you're doing well and glad to see your back,, im looking forward to see the stuff that you will be posting on your blog :3c !! very grateful for every interaction we had ,, even the ones from the start !! ^_^ 💗

@frilliette — AELIUS ( if you preferred to be called that too ) !! one of my biggest inspirations and you are one of the few people who inspired me to have my own editblr blog ,, and also one of the few people who ive interacted since the starting of my editing blog journey :3c !!! your graphics are very eye - candy & your work is just perfect and beautiful !! 🫶🏻🫶🏻 , we don't interact much but even a few chats or silly asks here will make my day !! /srs ,, i'm even very happy that were mutuals because you were one of my biggest inspirations ever !!

@smilepilled — MARYCIE OOMPHHH,, HIIII :3c !! one of the people who ive also interacted with since the start of my editing journey.. must say, you are one of the coolest people that I'VE EVER MET !!! geniuely when we first interacted,, i thought you were very awesome tbh /srs !! and guess what, I WAS RIGHT !! you r one of the kindest people here on tumblr:3 and ive recently seen the flags you posted on your blog, i really have to say that YOUR WORK ARE SO PRETTY!! :< and we rarely interact but it's okay! I'm still very grateful for our silly interactions we have together:3 /p /silly ,, im looking forward to interact more ( if i am not scared of socializing and reaching out first sighs ) ,, anyways js wanna say that stay pawsome and ur rlly cool too :3c

@nomkiwi — KIWIIIIIII OOMFIEEE :33 ONE OF MY BIGGEST INSPIRATIONS ,, ONE OF THE PPL WHO WAS THERE SINCE THE START OF MY EDITING JOURNEY:33 AAAAHQHWHWNWM I JS WANNA SAY I LOVE YOUR WORKS SM AND YOU'RE VERY TALENTED:33!! since the beginning I've always thought you were very cool and kind, and I wanted to make cool edits like how you did!! ^_^ i am very happy that we are interacting more often ,, each conversation we hv makes me vv happy :3c PLUS IM HOPING WE WILL INTERACT MORE OFTEN !!! >:33

@ukioshi0 — VUEEE VUEFART CHESTNUT TARTS OOMFIEIWI BFF AHJWMQKQKQL !!!1!!11!!2 we almost known each other for 2 years now and you are one of the coolest and best people I've ever met >:3c tbh your work inspired me to make my own headers but prettier like yours (your headers is better:3) hehwhw... HOPING WE R STILL BFFS NEXT YEAR AND YAYAYAYAYQ 🤑🤑🤑!!!!!!1! very grateful that we are bffs althoufh we dont talk in dms much in disoord but iys still fine !!!! im glad we still interact:3

@fartpoo1929392 — ugly kid hello 🤑🤑 one kf the best peowlle ive met btw im very happy that we are still bffs and we almost knowj each toher for 2 years now :3c you will always remian to be rhe noob who sings mango phonk whenever we vc /pos🥭🥭

@mizuki-irl — ONE OF THE COOLEST PEOPLE I'VE EVER TALKED TOO HERE!! and I'm very grateful for our interactions we have:3

@f4t4l1ty — OOMF!! you are one of the sweetest people I've ever met this year! a very kind yet funny person to talk too , very hyped up whenever we interact with each other

@terrminal / @emoticonnie — OKAY YOU GOTTA BE ONE OF THE BEST PEOPLE I'VE EVER MET THIS YEAR... YOU'RE A VERY GOOD PERSON TO TALK TOO:3!! /srs and your edits are mad underrated..

[sh4wty18]

'tis the damn season.

pairing: ex!jake x ex!reader

summary: running into your ex at a bar on christmas night wasn't part of your holiday plans, but seeing him reignites old feelings. or maybe they'd never truly ever faded to begin with. "we could call it even, you could call me babe for the weekend."

cw: angst angst angst!!, closed-door sexual content, language, alcohol

word count: 2.2k + edited

a/n: merry christmas guys! this is my gift to you all <3 i've had this brewing in my mind for months and i finally had the motivation to write it. i really hope you all like it as much as i do. i genuinely think this might be one of my fav fics i've ever written

The sight of the bar is a sad one, with only the loneliest souls perched on its stools at 9pm on Christmas. The sweet burn of whiskey kisses your throat as you swallow a sip of your old fashioned. It’s nothing you’re not used to. The drink is familiar, just like the bar. You’d made a tradition with yourself: to go to the bar alone after Christmas dinner every year. There was only so much of your family you could take before you needed an escape. Kansas was never your home. New York was. There was only one thing that could’ve kept you here, and once he left, you did too. 

You swirl the ice in your glass, eyeing the cocktail, debating whether you want another sip yet, or if you could ride out the aftertaste of your previous one for a few more minutes. Jake had always said you liked ‘old man drinks’. You had argued that your palette was just more advanced than his, but now, staring down at the amber liquid in the lowball glass, you realized he was right. You smirk, he always did know you better than you knew yourself. You take another sip, allowing the liquor to burn your taste buds for a few seconds before swallowing.

Then you hear it. A laugh you would have recognized anywhere. His laugh. Your eyes flick upwards and there he is. Across the bar. Making small talk with the bartender. Presumably ordering something sweet and fruity. You look away before he can notice you, but not before taking in his appearance. He looks different than he did the last time you saw him. His hair is shaggier, dyed black. He has more tattoos now, you can barely make out an open space on either of his arms. He has lip piercings now. They look good, really good. You watch his adam's apple bob up and down as he continues to speak to the bartender, laughing politely at something he said. No matter how much his aesthetic changes, his smile is always the same. Big and toothy and squinty and genuine. The same smile you fell for so many years ago. 

You glance up again and he isn’t on the other side of the bar anymore. A hand brushes against your arm and when you turn, there he is. Giving you a different smile than the one he gave the bartender. It was his more intimate smile. Smaller and rosy-cheeked, and reserved only for you. It was the smile you were still learning how to live without. 

He’s holding an old fashioned, and when he takes a sip, you can see him physically holding back from making a face. “Can I sit?” he asks.

You stare at him, awestruck. You don’t know why. You grew up together. This was his hometown as much as it was yours. If there were two things the holidays reminded you of, they were your hometown and Jake. “Uh… yeah. Of course.” 

He sits and puts his glass down on the cocktail napkin you’ve neglected to use. He glances over at you, then back at his drink. 

“Funny seeing you here,” Jake says. His voice is low and raspy. It makes your stomach drop. “Alone at a bar on Christmas night.” 

“You’re here too,” you quip, chuckling. 

“Point taken.”

“So why are you here?” you ask, sipping your drink. 

He looks ahead. “Sometimes… family is shitty.” He turns to make eye contact with you, knowing you’d understand that sentiment better than anyone. “You?”

“Family is shitty.” You raise your glass to his, clinking them softly.

Jake inhales, “I haven’t seen you since–”

“Last year?” you ask.

“Yeah.” He looks around the bar, his eyes flicking between the liquor bottles lining shelves, as if he’s searching for his next words. “You look beautiful.” 

You feel your cheeks get hot. “Thanks.”

He places a gentle hand on your thigh. Not in a weird way. In an honest way. “I’m not just saying that.”

“I know,” you respond. You smile at him. “I know you.” 

The corners of his mouth creep upwards, and you watch a pink hue grow across his cheeks. He clears his throat, “How’s New York?”

“Good… good. I really feel like I found my home there, you know? I’m making good money, working a job I actually like, and I live with my best friends. But of course, then I come home and it’s just…” you trail off. He wraps his hand around your wrist, tracing your skin lightly with his thumb in the same way he always used to do when he knew you were struggling. He gives you a knowing look, and you smile at him halfheartedly. “How’s LA?” you ask.

“Great! I found an awesome group of people out there and I’m living with my best friends too. Working my dream job…” He breaks eye contact with you, turning to stare straight ahead. A look of embarrassment washes across his face and he clears his throat again. “Obviously you know that. Um. But yeah. I come home and… shit happens. I get pissed. But it’s family.” 

You look down at your drink, his words burning in your ears. Obviously you know that. Yeah, you did. You’d broken up six years ago so that he could move out to LA and pursue his dream. You wanted him to succeed, of course you did. You wanted nothing but the best for him. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hell to watch him go, not even trying to fight for your relationship. Neither of you had been the same since then, whether you wanted to admit it or not.

He looks at you again, but you’re still hesitant to tear your eyes away from your glass. “Do you ever wonder if things would be different? If I’d–”

“Yes.” You meet his gaze now, and he raises his eyebrows in shock at your quick reply. “All the time.” 

“I was young and stupid and I wanted to get to LA with no attachments to this place. I-I never thought–”

“You don’t need to explain yourself to me, Jake. I understand.” You smile at him, a true smile. Because you were being honest. Because you knew why he did it. And because truthfully, it was probably better that you’d broken up then instead of having you go with him and risk breaking up years later. Then it would’ve all been for nothing. Now you’d just have to wonder what could’ve been. 

You check your phone, it was a little past 10 now. “Do you wanna get out of here?” you ask hopefully. 

A grin makes its way onto his face, and the familiar squint of his eyes makes your heart race. “Yeah.” 

He flags down the bartender and pays for both of your drinks, despite your arguments. “I can afford it, baby, trust me,” he laughs. The nickname rolls off his tongue so easily, it's almost like he’s yours again. He speaks up in a softer tone, “Plus…I want to.” 

A comfortable silence falls over the two of you, before you let out a giggle. “An old fashioned?” you point towards his glass, “Really? I thought it was an ‘old man’ drink.” 

He scratches the back of his neck and laughs at himself. “I, um, when I saw you across the bar, I thought maybe you’d think I looked cooler if I was drinking something more… grown up. And I knew these were your favorite.” 

Your heart flutters at the gesture, he really wanted to be cool for you. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? “I already think you’re cool, Jake. You could do nothing and I’d still think you’re cool.” 

He blushes again, turning away from you. You stand and walk toward the exit, knowing he’d follow you out. Just like he did last year, and the year before. 

The crisp winter air smacks your face when you get outside. You bundled up, but were still freezing. Jake stands next to you, cigarette in hand. “Cold?” he asks rhetorically before wrapping an arm around your shoulders to warm you up. 

“Can I get a hit of that?” you ask. He smiles and raises the cig to your lips for you, watching as you inhale slowly, allowing the smoke to warm your body. You exhale away from him. He throws the dead cig on the ground and stomps it out with his foot. You turn to face him, and he smiles down at you. He brushes a stray lock of hair behind your ear. He rests his palm flat against your cheek, and you lean into his touch. “You always were the romantic. Even when you pretended not to be. Tough guy.” You turn your head half an inch and you’re breathing into his palm. You kiss it.

“Nuh uh,” he counters, childishly. But he’s giving you that smile again, the one reserved for you. And then he’s pulling your face closer to his, until your mouths are only separated by breath. 

“We can’t keep doing this,” you whisper.

“Doing what?” he asks, before pressing his lips to yours. His lips are as soft as you remember, and the kiss is just as desperate and aching as it always is. Your hands tangle in his jet-black hair, and he pulls you in by your waist. 

—

He pulls you into his childhood bedroom, giddy shushes and giggles coming from your mouths as he closes and locks the door. You immediately pull your shirt off, and he follows your lead, and then you’re both stripped down to your underwear. 

He stares at your body in the moonlight seeping in from his blinds. “Shit, you’re gorgeous” he whispers, taking you in his arms. He kisses all over your cheeks and neck and shoulders, walking you both backwards until you feel the bed press against the backs of your thighs. He pulls away, just to let you get comfortable on his bed. 

He climbs on top of you, as he’d done countless times before, and you gaze up at him. “Hi,” he says, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to your lips. 

“Hi,” you giggle, like it was the first time. 

He slowly fingers the waistband of your underwear, eyeing you, waiting for your approval. You nod, desperate to have your bodies connected from the inside out. Intertwined so wholly you couldn’t tell where his body ended and yours began. He pulls your underwear off, throwing them across the room into the pile of clothes you’ve left by the door. Then he pulls off his boxers and there’s nothing left to separate you. Just skin on skin. You both let out sighs of relief as he sinks into you, all the tension in your bodies replaced with pure need. 

When he was inside of you, you forgot why you’d left Kansas at all. But when you were with each other, clamoring to each other’s bare skin, when he kissed your neck and whispered how you’re the only woman he’s ever loved, you remembered why you’d fallen in love with him in the first place. Why you were in love with him even after you’d broken up. Why you’re still in love with him now. 

An hour later and you’re sweaty and exhausted and just want to be in each other’s presence. You hold onto him, your bodies a tangle of limbs under the sheet, and he traces hearts into your cheeks with his index fingers. “Please…” he begs. “Let me be yours for the weekend.” 

How could you ever say no to that? To him? You nod, “Okay.” 

He grins and kisses you. “You’re still my perfect girl, you know that?” he asks.

You jokingly shove his shoulder and laugh, “Oh, shut up.” 

He only pulls your body even closer to his, until you’re practically laying on top of him. He kisses the top of your head, “I’m serious, baby.” he mumbles, before no doubt nodding off to sleep. 

The next several days are a whirlwind of movies, take-out Chinese food, sex, cuddling, and catching up with each other. 

This is how it always happened. Spending days on end together, pretending like nothing ever happened. Laughing during the day and whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears at night. Telling each other the things you were too afraid to say when you were together, always late at night when you assumed the other was asleep. Like that a part of you always wished you’d gone with him. Or that you were certain you’d never love someone else the way you loved him. Love him.

But all good things must come to an end. For the third year in a row, you knew that. You still forced yourself out of his bed on the 30th at the crack of dawn to make your flight back to New York for New Years Eve. Maybe you’d see him again next year, or maybe not. You weren’t sure you even wanted to. 

You look over at him sleeping peacefully in his bed, watching the rise and fall of his perfectly sculpted chest, knowing that inside of him was a real beating heart. Knowing that he was alive, and so were you, and the fact that you got to exist on Earth at the same time was enough of a gift to last a lifetime. You kiss his forehead. “I’ll always love you.” 

Then you turn your back and walk out. You don’t dare turn around. If you did, you’d just break your own heart more.

When you get to the airport, a text from Jake pops up on your screen:

i’ll always love you too

i'm so proud of this one and i hope you guys like it :) tags for my beloved moots @liseytopia, @quinnynation, & @audr3yyyyy <3

divider from @/saradika-graphics. pics from pinterest.

[unhinged-romione]

what is your favorite romione fics and what are the ones you’ve written you like the most 👀👀👀👀👀 finding fics on archive have been impossible and a girl is desperate 🌞

Oooh chileeee *rolls up sleeves*

Okay, so I'm listing my all-time favorites below (mostly on FFN since it's been YEARS since I've been plugged into this fandom).

As for my stuff *buries head* this ridiculous ass fic that I wrote when I was FOURTEEN is my main claim to fame (it's trash but also still kinda slaps?). BUT I'VE BEEN WORKING ON A TON OF NEW STUFF. I have six fics coming out this month through the @romione-trope-fest (btw the best active Romione writers are participating in that fest, so you should definitely follow it if you haven't been already! Here's the AO3 collection for the fest.).

ALSO I saw that you are a Renaissance fan. I have one that's 50% done called "Virgo's Groove" (EDIT: it's here!) and it takes place in the seventh book when Lupin announces Teddy's birth. I can share a snippet tomorrow if you'd like 🙂

Okay enough self promo lol. On to my recs!

Seven Simple Years by HalfASlug (FFN): Best Romione missing moments series ever. I think HalfASlug has the best Ron voice. Everything she's ever written for Romione is worth reading.

Moments by Armaysha (FFN): Another missing moments (I'm a sucker for those) that I feel kind of mixed about, even though it's still one of my favs. The writer has a different take on Romione than most of the fandom. It generally works IMO, but some of the choices she made I really didn't understand. But what she did well, she did really, really well.

I Must Not Tell Lies by TMBlue (FFN): I think this is the best one-shot of Romione's first fuck. TMBlue is GREAT at writing Ron and she's like the queen of Romione smut.

Six Foot of Ginger Idiot by Pinky Brown (FFN): This classic is HBP from Ron's perspective. Pinky Brown is another iconic Ron writer. You can't go wrong with anything she's written, but Biscuits (her missing moments series starting in Book 1) starts dragging in the last few chapters IMO.

Australia by MsBinns (FFN): Post-war series, arguably the greatest Romione fic of all time. To be totally honest, I didn't finish it because it does kind of drag. But I'm always meaning to get back into it. Just know that it's heavy.

Love Me Forever by Aloemilk (AO3/FFN): I JUST read this and I can't stop thinking about it. It's a post-war series that has a great mix of angst, trauma, and fluff (lighter than Australia). The slow burn from Romione's first kiss to a full-fledged adult relationship is perfect and the smut is SO GOOD. Reminds me of the time I stumbled upon porn that made me ugly cry (in a good way?)

Not single fics but thesecondself and realmer06 (both on FFN, although realmer06's next gen stuff is also on AO3) are my favorite one-shot writers.

[f1-stuff]

Mal!

Do you have a separate tag for all the charlos compilations you may have done in the past? I remember seeing one for their hugs and another for their top 20 moments but I'm not sure if those were your posts.

Also, do you have more charlos compilations about other things? Like them acting dumb and dumber or saying unhinged shit or just their journey through the years or something deeper idk I have no idea what all you compile for yourself and I can't think of anything but like.. if you do, would you share them at some point? Not now ofc, maybe post Abu Dhabi?

I'd much rather see #charlos compilation than #charlos crumbs on my dash 😭

This got sort of long so I'm putting it below the cut!

Unfortunately....I'm realizing I don't have a tag for lists like this! And that I should! The hugs compilation you're talking about is actually the lovely @c2-eh's -> here. Myself and a few others added onto it, but that's all. Eva actually has a few good lists: charlos roman empire, top 5 2023 moments, top 5 moments in general, and Carlos' hairy chest (which I'd actually love to add to bc I've got some pics stashed away...👀). She also has great video compilations of fav Carlos quotes and fav Charles quotes!

I did a top 10 2023 charlos moments last year in April 😂, so not even all the way through the year. I think you can also find it if you search 'top 10' in my tags, but I'm also gonna create a 'lists' tag bc of this ask to make it easier for ppl! From now on, any lists I rb or create will be there!

In terms of compilations, I do have a few of those in video form! You can find I think all of these if you search 'edit' + 'mine' in my tags:

Charlos + the times they've done the 'Ready?' 'More than ready' call and response (there've been more since)

Carlos interrupting Charles trying to intro videos lol

Carlos being ✨cunty✨

Charlos staring at eo

Times Charles has been blindfolded (there have been SEVeral more since I made this 🙄)

Charles laughing (most of them are with Carlos ❤️)

Charles being teased about his ears

Charlos sitting steadily closer to eo on various surfaces asgfhsdj

Charles playing rock paper scissors w/ various teammates

Arthur Leclerc being clueless

There are more video edits of mine not listed here, but they're not really compilations so much as fancams or edits of a single video. One of my favorite charlos compilations ever is this one of 2021 era charlos being very noisy lol. Another good place to look is @vegasgrandprix - rissa made a 6 min charlos comp, and carlos imitating charles, as well as some others that I remember but couldn't track down. You may try to just filter her posts by videos to check out her clips!

That's about all I've got for you! I've always got new ideas for charlos comps/edits floating around in my head, so hopefully they'll be posted someday soon. I've also got some in the works, both heartfelt and silly, for the end of the year...🥲 Anyway, also feel free to message me with any requests for compilations/lists! I love that stuff, tho it can sometimes take me a while to get around to...

[usmsgutterson]

Hello!I saw your requests are open and I'm so excited because you're such a good writer!! If it's alright, could you please write "If we have to leave our bed today, I will kill the resin we have to" hugs from your prompt list with Kaz x Reader? Maybe when he's a little older maybe late 20's and is a lot more comfy with touch (still has bad days/moments of complete touch aversion of course) but maybe he's slightly touch starved if anything in this fic? Thank you xx

Autumn- K.B x gn! reader

Hi!! This request was very fun--I always love writing/reading these types of fics because what can I say, my favs deserve to grow and change--so thank you for sending it in!

I know I'm probably starting to sound like a bit of a broken record with it now, but I am also very sorry for how long this took! I've been meaning to write it since it came in but life and motivation slipped away for a bit there. I hope you like it despite how long it took and again, I am SO SORRY!!

Fic type- this is so so so SO fluffy!!

Warnings- there's a couple of mentions of anxiety in relation to his touch aversion and kaz's touch aversion is discussed a lot. Kaz is also probably a little ooc, and this was written at around half past midnight and then queued for later, so the editing might not be as good as it could be

As Kaz woke, he found that the first day of autumn was to be your favorite kind of day. The kind where the leaves had already begun to change colors, the kind where a downpour hit Ketterdam, the kind where such a downpour still didn't manage to drive the pigeons away from the clubs and the two of you had not a thing to worry about in the world because you refused to allow yourselves that kind of worrying.

One of his arms was draped over your waist, his chin against your shoulder, and his heart kicking off at a racing pace because of it.

Waking up like that still sometimes sent his body off into a thousand different directions, each one more fervently anxious than the last, but the come-down from the anxiety and the anxiety itself had been easier to get through as time went on.

Kaz ghosted his lips against your shoulder. Everything is fine, he told himself. I am fine. I am holding the person I love, and they are alive, too, and we are alive together.

He felt you stir, wrap your arms around his waist, and effectively pull him into a hug.

You pulled away after a minute, and Kaz's hand moved up, gently tracing your lips.

"Any obligations?" You asked.

"None of note," Kaz said. "Or--none that I am unwilling to leave to tomorrow."

You grinned. "So, a day in bed it is, then?"

One of your arms moved to rest against his shoulder, your hand finding his hair like it were clockwork.

"If such is what you fancy," Kaz said. "I, of course, fancy it too."

You laughed. Kaz pulled you closer and you let him, content to be wrapped within the embrace that it had taken him a decade to be able to pull you into.

Kaz's touch aversion had been something that you never really minded. You loved him regardless of the fact that he couldn't touch you, and his actions made up for all of the hugs, kisses, and affections in the world anyway.

But, when you were eighteen and Kaz found that the mere idea of holding your hand was something with which he still struggled, he decided he was going to find a way to get better.

He wanted to do it for you, for every wistful smile you gave when you watched Matthias press a quick kiss to Ninas cheekbone, for every single one you gave when you would notice Jesper approaching Wylan, only to wrap his arms around Wylans shoulders and press a kiss to his forehead when Wylan leaned back and said hello.

But, on the other side of that coin, Kaz decided to do it for himself. Jordie had died when he was nine, and while he wasn't sure he would ever stop grieving the brother he'd lost to Pekka and his cons, he knew that he could not scorn the idea of touching others forever. He could not forever put off the idea of ending a business deal with the shake of a hand in his ungloved one, couldn't forever glare at people who'd dared touch his arms or hands or shoulders in passing.

A decade had gone by since he'd made that decision, and all in all it seemed to have paid off.

Sure, there were indeed bad days, but that was to be expected. Things like a long lasting touch aversion don't just go away overnight, and Kaz knew that. You knew it, too, and you didn't fault him for those bad days whatsoever.

"I love you," you said as Kaz pulled away enough to press a kiss to your forehead. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Kaz said, part of him cringing at how long it had taken him to repeat the words back. The two of you had started dating when you were eighteen and Kaz couldn't say the words until you were twenty-three, when you'd already been saying them for a year and telling him that his actions spoke louder than his words and that you didn't need to hear him say it back.

He'd stopped viewing love as weakness at twenty-three, when an old but well respected gang associate had told him that trying to think love made him anything but strong was idiotic while the group was on a heist in Ravka.

The bloke was seventy, maybe, and had apparently adopted that mindset early on into his life. He'd kept it up til he was in his fifties and cost himself a family, a partner. Thinking of love as a weakness was something he'd gone on to regret, and while he'd indeed found the love of his life at fifty-two, he still regretted all else that the mindset had cost him.

Loving you, he realized, made him strong. On his most difficult days, you were there to offer a listening ear and a solution.

Love was not a weakness, as it turned out, and some days, despite what the seventeen year old Kaz Brekker might've said if he knew, love was what kept twenty-eight year old Kaz Brekker going.

One of your hands treaded through his hair before moving down his forehead, along the scope of his nose and his cheekbones, then his chin and his lips and the center of his neck, finding the divot at it's end that indicated the middle of his collarbone.

Kaz decided, in that moment, he would kill the reason you needed to leave your shared bedroom if one came up. He loved moments like those as much as you did, cherished them with everything he had because they were few and far between.

You pulled him down just a bit, pressed a kiss to his forehead and then a quick peck to his lips after he'd nodded and affirmed it was okay to, and Kaz looked at you and all that he could think of was the fact that you were so close.

You were so close to him, and he was so close to you, and he didn't want to do anything more than get closer.

"I love you," he said, breathless and touch starved and full of enough yearning to last five lifetimes.

"I love you too," you responded. Kaz's lips dipped near yours, and when you nodded, he kissed you.

It was kiss that said everything that Kaz couldn't manage to form into words, gratitude and joy and contentedness and sheer, undying and fiery love.

When Kaz pulled away, you were grinning, and so was he.

Eventually the two of you drifted off to sleep again, the only thoughts in your minds having been how much of a joy it was to be in the others company.

[jessaerys]

your fav mello/near fics??? thank yeww (also love your drawings!)

oohh this reminds me i should pick up my ff.net archival reclist project up again...

it is of note that it's been a looooong while since i've combed the archives and there's a couple of common tropes i don't usually read due to personal taste, so i'm sure there's a lot of good fic i'm unaware of and/or forgetting about! this has totally renewed my interest in making a comprehensive personal reclist >:) perhaps i'll come back and edit this post every now and then.

i owe comments to nearly everyone mentioned here i am SO sorry. it's a lost skill that i am working on developing again. at the very least i've got everyone in one place so i can go down the list this year. i encourage everyone reading from this reclist to leave a comment too!

i wrote "off the top of my head" but this got VERY long so under the readmore it goes

obligatory classics

• the famous @tierfal 's sidetracked (2010) and full of surprises (2009). rated e and m respectively. these are like the allegorical little black dress in the wardrobe of the platonic ideal of the mellonear oneshot. seem to be pretty well known across the ship fandom • stripped (2009) by blueberryash/@tka-trashfire on tumblr. explicit. i haven't read this in a while but i remember it capturing the delicate gossamer tension of the ship in a way that was sooo bittersweet and nostalgic. • to speak of rules and privilege (2008) also by blueberryash/@tka-trashfire, gen, a manifesto on tenderness, soooooooooo soft, changed the game, near being afraid of thunderstorms was immediately adopted into personal canon. big time influence for the way i write near and mello's pre-canon relationship re: big brother, little brother. • an understanding (2008) by blueberryash/@tka-trashfire, rated T, short and sweet, razor sharp prose, the aesthetics of the little piece live rent free in my head. • dual(2011) by ramasi, @ramasi here i believe. rated m. historians say this might be one of the first examples of mellonear choking kink ever recorded,

RARE finds

(please tell me if you enjoy any of these, i want to feel like an explorer that's brought back treasures from far away lands)

•scarification (2012) by gacrux11 on fanfiction.net, rated m, big time dead dove do not eat. sorry this one leans early 2010s era grimdark melodrama but i love it sjkdfkjfd. not enough dead dove fics about the boys if u ask me. • salt in the wound (2007) •tempus fugit (2007), and • white out (2006) by vaudevillain king on fanfiction. net. a beloved rare find. all of them are rather grimdark edgy products of their era, but some of the best the era had to offer. they make me so nostalgic for my teenagehood on fanfiction.net. i get the impression these might've been written even before death note was finished? • birthday smut (2009) by kleine_aster on livejournal. explicit. this one is SO funny to me because it is both really, really good, very in character, but unfortunately it suffers from almost satirical misogyny that afflicted fujoshis back in the day. near literally is like oh that bitch... like. he would not fucking think that but i can edit quickly in my brain as i read. bisexual mello rights! otherwise really sexy imo. i might be writing something that's kind of in conversation with this fic.

contemporary favorites:

• you've heard about it before and you will hear about it again: the archer ensnared (2023) by jabbernatty, rated e. a jessaerys obligatory syllabus read, the fic that made me go fulltime yaoi disease. i owe so much to jabbernatty they are my white whale my friend my enemy the writer i've psychically imprinted on from the beginning. honestly too scared to even leave a comment given the jessarys archer ensnared lore. may one day may contact and pray i don't come across as insane • postmortem (2023) by the_hemlock true gen, a favorite of ALL time. it's only tangentially mn really, it is 99% about near trying to piece together the mystery of lawlight post-canon, but the characterization and prose are some of if not the best i've ever come across. reads like it could be a piece of canon material. if you only read one fic on this list i'd pick postmortem. • it's friday i'm in love by neallo/@neallo rated m. possibly my all time fave in the neallo cinematic universe. something about the after-hours longing and the standing in the kitchen by the refrigerator lights, as the poets say. i love when stories feel like you're cutting out a window to peer into a larger universe that is just out of reach. perfectly captures what it is like to have a maddening crush • i want to hold you (hostage)(2023) by neallo/@neallo rated e. thee defining fic of this current modern mellonear era. manages to walk the line of kinky/sexy/sweet/fluffy all at once. plot twist of the century in the last chapter. near is properly as bananas insane as mello is in this fic, which is the marker of a good mellonear dynamic. really everything by morgan neallo is a safe bet for a great read • there's nothing i want but you (2023) by neallo/@neallo rated t. wammy's era mellonear obsessiveness that is soooo teenagery and yet a portent of just how codependent they might one day get. cute and ominous. • armageddon/kill game (2024) by bolide/@bolide-archive came out of nowhere a couple of months ago and ascended to the top of the game like a dark horse. rated m, chess au. one of my favorite interior mello narrations and one of the most similar to my own interpretation. such naturally talented prose. i rotate lines from this in my head all the time. still in progress but i have faith that it will be completed :') • how to burn down the sacred loom (2023) by dornishviper/@vriskarlmarx a contemporary CLASSIC. the less you know going in the better. beautiful prose, beautiful structure. they don't make fic like this anymore • the house always wins (2023) by mer_curia/@vivi-scera. screaming with my mouth closed. holds a special place in my heart given that it is my posting that convinced vi to give the ship a try, and i was rewarded with a fic that is so catered to my tastes i honestly had to read it through my fingers. SO good, the manifesto on wammyscest, so rather controversial. heed the warnings. • moonlight (2023) by tsukinousagi/@quicktimeeventfull rated t. an austere, cold little glimpse into a vampire au. it's giving let the right one in. so melancholic. one of the saddest near examinations out there. •proximity tells (2018) by abysmallypresent, rated m. truly lives up to death note's second-by-second minutia while managing to keep up the tension the entire time. great characterization. •silhouettes (2015) by bad blood/eroticcodependence, @wxmmyshouse on tumblr. unrated, post-canon compliant. made me CRY! elegantly short and simple, bittersweet and so so wistful. •arsonist's lullabye (2023) by tzviaariella/@tzviaariella. rated t. this one has a heart-wrenching air of realism to it that exists outside the chaotic universe of death note, one of those examinations of picking up the pieces after the titans have all gone away. very bittersweet.

honorary mentions

• let's die somewhere prettier (2020) by firesafinething also one of my absolute favorites, unfortunately it is discontinued and it is likely it will never be completed. sad! the premise seemed SO promising. in my mind i file it right next to postmortem mentioned above. the exploration of the tragedy of 27 year old near we could have had in a better timeline. one day i will leave a comment so good maybe it will bring back the fic from the land of the dead • august underground by me & @firebuggg rated e, in progress. >:) (shamless self promo)

[kasienda]

Fanfiction Year in Review 2023

I fill this out every year. It’s become a bit of a tradition for me. Allows me to reflect on everything that I’ve written and kinda think about where I want to go next. And I like it better from the ask games because I don’t have to wait for asks to come in and can compare my answers from one year to the next. ^_^

1 List of fics completed this year in the order they were finished:

Displaced (Ladrien oneshot)

No Regrets (Ladynoir oneshot - smut)

You Don’t Have To Pretend With Me (Platonic Adrino oneshot)

Representation Reveal (S5 Adrinette oneshot)

Kisses in the Rain (S5 AU Love Square - technically multichapter, but it’s shorter than many of my one-shots)

Would Trust You With Everything (Adrino multichapter)

Just An Ordinary Girl (Marichat oneshot)

Love Remains (Ladynoir multichapter)

Spin the Bottle (OT4 with cour four - technically oneshot, but it’s longer than Kisses and has more kisses in it. Haha!)

2 Number of words written: 

Written: 166,114 words

Published: 151,018 words (more than twice 2022’s number!! Go me!!) 

Those numbers are incredibly close together because I haven’t been redrafting as much. Those numbers include six one shots, three completed multi chapters. And another four multi chapter WIPs saw at least one update.

And in another fun milestone! I broke a million words published on Ao3 just this last week!! (I've been writing fic since 2003 and everything I've ever written is on Ao3!)

3 Your most popular fic:

Not Part of the Plan - I suspect that this is mostly because being a teen pregnancy fic, it’s my most tropiest story this year. Haha! 

4 Your personal fav:

Aftermath - This story has usurped Right Behind You as my favorite. I’ve been able to connect to the raw hurt and grief in this story, and there’s something very raw and human about it that others seem to be able to connect to as well. I think it’s some of my best work, and that is also thanks to an amazing beta in @ladyofthenoodle who has lent her expertise in more than one way in making this one more true to lived experience. 

5 Your fav scene:

It’s so hard to pick a favorite!! I narrowed it down to my three favorites in no particular order. 

The last scene in Ch 5 Love Remains - Chat Noir give amnesiac Ladybug a geography lesson from space. It’s got Whole New World vibes, and I just loved the imagery of it.

Ch 4 of Aftermath - I’m particularly proud of Marinette’s panic attack when Adrien tells her she doesn’t have to keep coming over. Like it feels like it comes out of nowhere, but it just totally makes sense. And how it manifests and how she soothes herself (it’s not healthy, but it’s so GOOD!)

Ch 7 of Would Trust You With Everything - The scene where Chat Noir tries to tell Nino who he is, but inevitably doesn’t. And how Nino reassures him through all that. This scene feels so raw, but so heartwarming in light of Adrien’s fears. And I don’t know - it’s beautiful to me.

6 A fic or scene that challenged you:

I really struggled with Right Behind You this year, though it wasn’t for lack of trying! I had started out the year hoping to go back to an update a month here and I only updated it three times throughout 2023. 

This was incredibly frustrating because the initial drafts of scenes would come pretty easily, but I couldn’t seem to make them pop the way the earlier chapters did. The good news is I think I figured out what the issue was. Most of my writing this year has been speed writing. And a big part of that is just where I’ve been emotionally. I’m very very out of practice in editing and redrafting, which this story and Aftermath both definitely need. 

I’ve only been able to edit Aftermath because I’ve had a ton of help. (Thanks Noodles!) Sadly, it’s harder to find betas for rarepairs, but I have succeeded! (Thanks@coffeebanana!)

7 A line of writing you’re proud of: 

“She wanted to be there to see it. To see him.”

This line is way better in context, but I’ve made myself cry about three times with it. And I refuse to explain it because that would give its power away. Guess you’ll just have to go read Aftermath. 

8 A comment that touched you: 

I can never answer this question without mentioning several!! 

Would Trust You With Everything - this story had a ton of enthusiastic followers - way more than rarepair work usually gets, and I wrote this story right after my life fell apart and all the commenters here made throwing this story together just that much more joyful during a time when I REALLY needed it. (I'm looking at you, @bittersweetresilience, @bbutterflies @flightfoot @coffeebanana and so many others that I don't know your tumblr name!!!) Not Part of the Plan Comments - I added sex ed lessons to the end of each chapter here because there’s so much about fertility and pregnancy that people don’t know if typical pregnancy fics are anything to go by, and this seemed to inspire so many people to share their pregnancy stories!!! And these have been so cool because I’ve learned that these stories just don’t often have an opportunity to be shared. And it’s neat that this story with its accompanying lessons could create a space for that!! Aftermath comments - lots of people who have really struggled with moderate to severe depression have apparently felt very seen by this fic. And that a story that is essentially about two characters who feel very alone and like no one can understand can help people feel LESS alone and MORE understood is simply amazing!! I love this story so much!! AHH!! Here's one from @neurovascular-entrapta that meant a lot to me.

9 Something that inspired your writing:

Grief and the need to feel things in a distant abstract-these-are-story-book-characters kind of way so I don’t have to feel my actual feelings as closely every moment of the day really kept me writing the whole year long.

10 Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

My writing has been really raw and messy this year, and I can’t keep tenses straight to save my life. But there’s something powerful about the rawness that I really like even as all the grammatical errors and the lack of effort on the technical side of most of my stories has driven me nuts. 

I am proud of myself for being able to get back into the big projects in these last few months after not being able to face them from April to October. And I’ve started participating in a few writing events here and there again in addition to working on my own pet projects. 

11 Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

Well, I wanted to finish Not Part of the Plan in 2023, which didn’t happen only barely! So hoping the last chapter and the epilogue make it out within the next month. Once that’s done I think I want to try and make Aftermath and Right Behind You my primary focus projects this year. And of course, I’m sure new plot bunnies and writing events will take over my brain on occasion. Last year, I said I wanted my writing to become a reliable mental health tool for me again, and I’m glad to say that it definitely was that for 2023. I hope I’m able to use my writing this year to continue my healing journey. 

And maybe go and proofread all of the fics I finished in 2023 to fix all the inconsistent tense issues to prepare them for being bound eventually!

12 Anyone you would like to thank?

SO MANY PEOPLE!

@jennagrinsoverml for being one of my oldest fandom friends! For becoming a real life friend for all that we haven't actually met in person. For all the times you vented to me and listened and sent me pictures of your family and gushed over pictures of mine. I'm lucky to know you!

@ladyofthenoodle - for showing up in my DMs, For being a most insightful beta, for dragging me into a larger community over and over again, for listening to both my real struggles and my first world problems, for being my friend!!

@thelibraryloser - I don't know how to put this into words. But I very much look up to you. For your resilience through difficult times - you are role-model for how to handle this world with grace and kindness. Thank you for your stories!

@coffeebanana - for being so enthusiastic in the creation process before and after! When I have a story that is getting no attention one comment from you makes it so it doesn't matter. You give me all I need.

@bittersweetresilience and @wackus-bonkus-maximus for just being so kind and enthusiastic and supportive of any idea I happen to be talking about in any given moment. I guess for enabling me. Haha!

@blur0se and @mila-beedoodling for sharing your ideas and inspiring me to create new things!!

@asukiess, @chocoluckchipz, @sariahsue, @miabrown007 for creating so many beautiful things and for being kind and engaging in so many conversations!

And now, I'm really nervous that I'm forgetting someone because this is the first time where I feel like I've had more than three fandom friends. Haha! It's a good problem to have I suppose. In general, thank you to the miraculous community for helping me to survive this year. <3 <3 <3

Happy New Year Everyone!!

I invite anyone who wants to, to fill this out! (Or something similar because I think it can be modified for artwork pretty easily). But if you do, please tag me, so I can be a cheerleader for all you've accomplished this year!

[luckydicekirby]

would love any director's commentary you may have on The Only True Thing if slightly older fics are on the table here bc lowkey it changed my brain chemistry forever. I read it on a whim like four years ago at 1 in the morning and ever since then I've been hooked on making all my fav pairings miserable for no reason. this sounds like sarcasm but I'm being completely sincere the schadenfreude is exquisite

okay first of all I’m SO glad to hear this because making your favs miserable is I think one of the most rewarding activities on this earth so I’m really glad I could help share that joy. thanks also to sylvain for just making it so easy. anyway, here’s some assorted thoughts, hopefully some of which are edifying!

(the only true thing for reference for anyone playing along at home.)

this fic affectionately named the darkling au due to this tweet which I feel like I should put in a hall of fame someday. anyway this entire thread showcases the origin of this fic which was me catie and lily bullying each other on twitter about sylvix, a pastime left behind in 2019 which i really miss.

the thing that really first made me Crazy Cuckoo about sylvain is his B support with Byleth--I'm obsessed with that moment where he very coldly threatens to kill you and then laughs it off, and that was pretty much the jumping off point for Sylvain's characterization in this au--what if he was like that all the time? answer: it would be bad, but also pretty sexy!

One thing I miss about writing for fe3h is the hero’s relics were sooo nice as like. shortcut symbolism. the lance of ruin comes preloaded for you! It’s familial cycles of violence! Easy! and there's a mechanic for it breaking ALSO preloaded into the game mechanics! I wrote like three versions of the ending and the lance getting busted moved around a bit--it originally happened a little earlier.

For a while when I was still femblempilled I was idly thinking about two sequels to this—a sylvain pov sequel about the war, which would have been fun but also Yikes, and then epistolary dorothea/ingrid ideological divorce fic. sorry to dorothea and ingrid who really get the short end of the stick in this universe.

oh there's a playlist. I can’t claim to have put a ton of thought into it it’s just all my fav bad ya boyfriend songs <3 actually dead girl walking reprise is like. yeah that's the fic.

ANYWAY. I feel like a lot of my commentary on this has been washed away by the sea (the passage of time) so a few extras. I apparently wrote like 400 words of sylvain POV of the training yard scene also? Last edited September 26th 2019, here you go:

Felix has always been smaller him, ever since they were kids. Still is these days, to Sylvain’s delight. He wondered about it plenty, these past two years--maybe Felix had a growth spurt. Maybe he caught up to Dimitri. Maybe Sylvain would meet him at the monastery and they’d see eye to eye. Of course they don’t. Felix is a head shorter than him, and he’ll never see things the way Sylvain does. Still. Sylvain thought about it. He’s had a lot of time to think about Felix since the last time he saw him, since Felix ran away. Still a crybaby at heart, no matter how sure he was he’d grown out of it. Not much has changed, Sylvain figures. Felix might have everyone else fooled with that delightfully sharp-edged exterior of his--a pretty decent feint, Sylvian should know--but Felix can’t hide from him. Sylvain sees him down to the bone. The two of them are a matched set: liars at heart.  Like right now. Felix is trying so hard not to cry, his back to the wall of the training yard, his grip tight around the wood of his training sword like he’s actually going to use it. Sylvain hopes he will. He hasn’t gotten to see Felix fight yet, really fight. He bets he’s gotten better. He bets he’s elegant and controlled—maybe less so with Sylvain, and wouldn’t that be nice? That’s how it goes sometimes, when Sylvain dreams about their last day together. Felix’s sword at his throat, biting and cold, ending all this before it began. It would have saved everyone a lot of trouble. Sylvain wouldn’t have had to spend such an awfully long time missing him.  He bets Felix could make him hurt. Nothing seems to do that anymore, except for thoughts of Felix, the ones he can never stop worrying at like a bruise.  Sylvain doesn’t want much these days, and maybe that’s why it’s so hard: he wants Felix in a way that aches, delirious and unstoppable. It doesn’t matter so much how. Felix is welcome to cut him open or kiss him quiet or anything in between. As long as he never stops looking at Sylvain like he is now, hateful and just on the edge of tears, so clearly focused on nothing else. As long as Sylvain can have that, the rest doesn’t matter.  That’s love, Sylvain figures; the cheerful facade he gives the girls is nothing. He forgets about a new one every week. But Felix? He’ll be dead someday, and Felix will still have a grip on his heart, as tight as he’s holding his sword and just as dangerous.

and what exists of the sylvain POV sequel I never wrote:

Felix looks like shit. Of course he’s also beautiful. He’s radiant, for all that his hair’s a mess and his face is drawn and he’s got the kind of dark circles that only come from weeks and weeks of exhaustion. He’s Felix, right? He can’t be anything else. “You look like shit,” Sylvain tells him, because honesty is what Felix thinks he wants from him. He hasn’t seen Felix in six moons, but that probably hasn’t changed. “What are you doing here?” Felix asks. His horse stamps her feet and shakes her head, moving uneasily under him. Felix has never been a good rider. It’s clear he doesn’t appreciate his mare, and she doesn’t appreciate him. Sylvain wonders how long Felix has been making his way across Faerghus like this. He wonders if he stole the horse. It’s awful not to know. “Looking for you,” Sylvain says. “They say you’re searching for the king.” Felix never could stop himself from chasing ghosts. Sylvain hates that about him. It’s just as unfair as everything else: it’s the only reason Sylvain is still here, after all.  “I am. And you should be defending Gautier territory.” “Got a message from your father,” Sylvain lies. He slides off his horse, patting her flank. Felix, clumsily, does the same. “He wants you to come home.” That part’s probably true.  Felix scoffs. “My old man can send all the messages he wants. I’m going to find the boar.” He means it. Sylvain can see that he means it, in the flinty look in his eyes, the fold of his arms, the jut of his chin as he looks up at Sylvain. It’s the saddest thing Sylvain’s ever seen, and he’s seen a lot of shit. “Felix,” he says. He reaches out. He can never help it, not when Felix is like this, not when he believes. Felix doesn’t flinch from Sylvain’s hand on his cheek anymore. “Sweetheart. You know he’s dead.” “Don’t call me that,” Felix says. But when he swings himself back in the saddle and Sylvain does the same, he doesn’t tell Sylvain not to follow. That’s more than good enough. 

[huellitaa]

bee's record player: march edition. 🎀𓂃 ࣪˖

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 !! notice !! ♡

surpriseee <3 wanted to try and add a little of my personal influence to my girlblog since music is literally my entire life & thought it might be funny to show u all what makes up the chaotic glittery mess that is my brain (and because there are almost 1000 of you beautiful people following me whatt?? thank you😭). i've allllways wanted to do smth like this too so, here u go !! 🩷💗

(+ this is a way for me to rant about my interests without being annoying to my friends / moots 😭. to anybody who has listened to me rant or cry or scream or whatever over music ily guys mwa)

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 NEW ARRIVALS

goddess, laufey

♡ released march 6th, 2024

♡ single

♡ running time: 4 minutes 28 seconds

eternal sunshine, ariana grande

♡ released march 8th, 2024

♡ full album / LP

♡ best songs: supernatural, the boy is mine, we can't be friends (wait for your love), intro (end of the world)

♡ running time: 35 minutes 33 seconds

unheard, hozier

♡ released march 22nd, 2024

♡ extended play / EP

♡ best songs: too sweet (i adore this song.)

♡ running time: 13 minutes 59 seconds

super real me, illit

♡ released march 25th, 2024

♡ extended play / EP, debut! ♡

♡ best songs: magnetic, midnight fiction

♡ running time: 9 minutes 36 seconds

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 BEE'S TRACKS: TOP 10

♡ 10. my world, illit

girly girl song!! i've been obsessed with illit's whole super real me album, their debut is soo good oh my gosh. its criminally short but i seem to have listened to it a lot !! 😭

♡ 9. we can't be friends (wait for your love), ariana grande

i have SO MUCH to say about this song but it resonates with me so much in so many different ways and i just. oh my god. ariana i love u so much

♡ 8. we got so much, le sserafim

k so i initially didn't really like this song but... it's grown on me. a lot. since it first came out. um. it's pretty simple honestly and it's just really girly girl it makes me feel like a school girl i love it

♡ 7. this is what makes us girls, lana del rey

girlblogger anthem!! okay confession i did not get into this song until LAST MONTH. i know. it's terrible and i am ashamed i am so sorry. but i have formed such a strong emotional attachment to this song its crazy i adore it

♡ 6. imperfect for you, ariana grande

exposing myself pt.3 i was in a really big depressive slump for like one half or more of this month actually and this song helped me so much i can't 😭 i love you ari

♡ 5. the boy is mine, ariana grande

(are you noticing a pattern here yet) um another ariana grande song no lol um idk what ur talking about haha 🥰 this song is so twerkable im sorry i wasnt a fan at first but im obsessed i need to stop

♡ 4. smart, le sserafim

no words. once again wasn't a huge fan originally but oh my god im obsessed w it now. afrobeat type of songs are, will, and always be top tier and i will die on this hill. (i've been SO OBSESSED with le sserafim lately but i think thats fairly obvious here😭)

♡ 3. eternal sunshine, ariana grande

i adore this song oh my god. its become one of my favs of all time since it came out. this was on loop for HOURS when i first heard it and its such a comfort song for me. it shows her growth so beautifully and there's so much about it i just absolutely adore like i could write a whole essay on this song and still wouldnt be able to express how much i love it

♡ 2. magnetic, illit

illit was bound to pop up here again this month tbh ok so me and my bsf were listening to this on loop the entire time at school a little after it came out like we were sitting in the front row of our class and were still watching the magnetic mv under the desk on her phone. so in love with this song it makes me so happy n feel so cute i ahh <3

♡ 1. supernatural, ariana grande

SUPERNATURAL IS THE SONG EVER. first day it came out i listened to the album and this was on loop constantly for the next week or more. it's made it up to my top 10 fav songs of all time ever and i listen to A LOT of music. this song is my life<333

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ALBUMS

♡ 1. eternal sunshine, ariana grande

fairly self explanatory. i love u ari. there was soo much ari this month bc ive been a diehard ari stan since i was 8 and have never looked back. since yes and released in january i have been ecstatic about ag7 releasing in march after 4 YEARS of no ari so this was MONUMENTAL for me 😭😭 THE DROUGHT IS OVER ARIANATORS RISE 🩷🩷🩷

♡ 2. super real me, illit

so basically the day this album came out my best friend was spamming me about them and i only listened to them like 2 days after cuz she was annoying me about it and OH MY GOD. i listened to them and then proceeded to loop the whole album for the next 72 hours 💗 and for a debut as well is amazing ily illit girlies

♡ 3. with you-th, twice

so i wasn't much of a fan at first bc they just sounded really similar and bland to me but its grown on me a lot since it came out and i've been listening to it so much throughout the entirety of march. its just so oddly comforting in a way and feels like a hug in music form (+ rush and bloom are the best songs argue with the wall)

♡ 4. easy, le sserafim

self explanatory. i'm obsessed with le sserafim at the moment and this album is everything to me. ass shaking album 10/10

♡ 5. k-12, melanie martinez

i have been revisiting one of my fav albums of all time this month and its as amazing as always. this has been my favourite album of all time since it came out and i will never ever get over k12 🩷 10000/10!!!! <3

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ARTISTS

♡ TOMORROW X TOGETHER

♡ TWICE

♡ LANA DEL REY

♡ LE SSERAFIM

♡ ARIANA GRANDE

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 SPECIAL MENTIONS

♡ happy 1 year to portals by melanie martinez! oh my god this album helped me through all of 2023 and i went to see her on tour in london for my birthday last november and it was surreal. she's amazing. i adore her and this album (i have it on vinyl hehe) and love it SOO MUCH 💖

♡ expect ordinary things by ariana grande to be high high on my top 10 next month its been on loop for days now im obsessed

♡ there's going to be a LOT in next month's issue seeing as 2 of my all time favs are coming back next month, so prepare for that! so excited ahh <3 (one has already released at the time of writing this. prepare urselves.)

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 EDITOR'S NOTE

this was SO FUN oh my gosh. i am 100% making this a regular thing~ lmk if it was entertaining, improvements needed, artists / albums you'd like me to keep up with etc, or just general comments, ideas, reviews and so on. thank you so much for reading, this was so fun! look forward to next month 💗🫶💖

lots of love 💘

[littlechameleonguy]

2024 fic round up game

thanks to @cannibalisticcorpse for tagging me! Let's do this!

What fandoms do you write in?

almost exclusively Dead Boy Detectives. At least that's everything I've published. I've also written for the Spiderverse, Sally Face, Baldur's Gate 3 and Six of Crows but none of these ever saw the light of day.

How many words have you published in 2024?

again a lot less published than written but ao3 has about 20k words form me this year so far. There is a bit more somewhere here on tumblr but since my tagging is very inconsistent I'm not going to search for it to count the words...

What is your greatest achievement this year?

honestly, publishing my writing at all! I haven't done that in a very long time besides form the occasional drabble here. Big big thank you to the Besotted Brats for all the inspiration and encouragement!!! I love you guys!

What are your top three fics you’ve written this year?

I've only eight fics to choose from that are actually public but alright. Just beforehand all of these are nsfw and shouldn't be touched by minors! Please please please check the tags before reading!

Losing All Control (Edwin/Charles/David - possession, tentacles)

First thing I've actually published and that therefore has a special place in my heart.

Under my Skin (Demonland - Tattoo au)

This thing just has my heart and soul and dick... It constantly lives in my mind...

Dipping Your Toes (Payneland - Foot Fetish)

A work I'm very proud of that caters to me alone and my none existing foot fetish.

What have you learned?

a lot actually! English is not my first language and writing this much, having support form native speakers just in general helps my writing so much!

Also finally not caring much about the feedback. I mean obviously I love getting comments but I can write something I absolutely know won't get much attention and I'll still love the whole process and just have fun with it.

What fic did you want to do but never made it off the ground?

so many things, really. I've tons of notes and half backed wips in my notes...

Did you beta any fics? Any favs you want to shout out?

No, not really. I write back and forth with friends about ideas and occasionally edit a little for them while doing so but I'm not a native speaker and I'm dyslexic, so I'm not suited to actually beta for anyone.

What ideas are percolating for next year?

I've ideas for multiple multi-chaptered fics that I wanna try for next year... Here just the short ideas of the ones I'm most passionate about:

Edwin and Charles accidentally summoning their future selves

Edwin turning himself into a girl and Charles realizing his feelings

Collage au, fwb situation

Demonland trying to get pregnant

Who do you want to thank?

I kinda already did but once again big thanks to all the Besotted Brats!

And ofc @cannibalisticcorpse in particular! You support me more than anyone when it comes to my fics! Without you none of my writing would be out there! You're an amazing writer and a wonderful person and I love you so so much! ❤️

tagging: anyone who wants to play!! @cristalknife @skylie-spiderlillis and @thefanficsmustflow

[pongnosis]

ponggggggg bestie do you think yassen names his guns. DO YOU THINK ROSS NAMES HIS KNIVES. i think yassen would be a little averse to the whole naming thing considering hunter told him not to refer to his victims by names because it made them human. i feel like he would internalize that and think of his guns as mere weapons, as convenience, as tools and nothing more but still i'm sort of curious because some part of me also thinks he could name them. idk. he was petty enough to become an assassin just to spite him and the fact that he has a fav gun??? [it was a beretta right?] but this is also somewhat a useful tip. idkkkk im sleepy and feeling rambly and im making it your problem. also i bet gordon gives them the goofiest or the most poetic names. no in between. man's got a sense of humour but also has that shitton of history ping-ponging [heh] around in his head. anyways i think i'll go & try to catch some sleep. byeee <3

I think the only sentimental thing Yassen might have is the Fer de Lance, and that's one hundred percent headcanon, given that she might as well be a charter (or SCORPIA-owned) based on the information we got on her in Eagle Strike (look, I like ships, don't ship-shame!). I just really like the idea of Yassen having one thing that is his, and the unwelcoming looks of her, the tinted glass in the windows, and the name all seem like something he'd like. Everything else, especially his weapons, I think he has a very pragmatic approach to. They're something to be used and discarded if necessary, chosen based on the needs of the operation, and little else.

… except the Grach. I HAVE OPINIONS ON THIS ONE.

So. SO. Eagle Strike, page 49 in my version (Walker Books 2015 edition, from the box set, so who knows what the line originally said, but I've only ever seen the Grach referenced in fandom): "The gun was a Grach MP-443, black, with a short muzzle and a ribbed stock. It was Russian, of course, new army issue."

This is yet another enty in "Why Timelines Are, Like, Vibes Man", the ongoing saga by Ahorz.

The Grach MP-443 (wiki link) was developed in the nineties but didn't enter service until 2003, and while it was adopted as the standard sidearm, this did by no means happen immediately. It took YEARS for mass production to really start. For years after, there were - and still are - other Russian guns that were in far more common use and much easier to get a hold of for Yassen, who would presumably want to replace his gun fairly regularly to avoid inconvenient evidence.

Ignoring the timeline issue of exactly what year the books are set in (and whether the Grach was even in actual production by then), it seems like a very deliberate choice by Yassen. The Grach is not the best gun out there. It's not the most reliable, not the easiest one to find, not the most common (and more anonymous). It was, however, the new standard sidearm for the Russian military - the country that took everything from Yassen - and going out of his way to choose a weapon that most of the Russian military still hadn't been issued, one after the other to discard of when they became evidence, seems just like the sort of deliberately petty move he would like. A subtle 'fuck you' to his former home.

ALSO. I agree, Ross absolutely names his favourite knives. He'll rant about the bad ones if you get him going, but his favourite, most perfect knives, those get the adoring names. He's so the type to have an original V-42 stiletto in beautiful condition that he's named Rose.

[imagineitdearies-old]

do you have any fav fics right now?

Hey anon! I have been taking a bit of a back seat on writing, so BOY do I have a ton of fics to recommend. I'm guessing you might be looking specifically for lucemond? I'll try to rec mostly that, though a few rhaenicent might slip in too 😁

(note some of these have dark content, please as always read the tags!)

(K)not me by Avonne - as always, @avonneslovelies delivers the perfect twisted combo of steaming hot smut and an emotionally-conflicted, hard-but-actually-soft Aemond. Can’t wait for future updates, but it stops in a good place to read like a one-shot!

as if you were a mythical thing by greynovembers - Lucerys as a sacrificial offering to god!Aemond? I will read this premise a million times, but this one-shot is probably my favorite rendition so far of this pairing.

prisoners of war; me and you and our baggage by @glaciya - have I recommended this before? Yes, yes I have. But now there are two more chapters!! If you aren't following this sweet amnesiac-fisherman!Lucerys fic, you are losing out.

Blood Ties by vishini - Relatively new, and yet the best omega!Aemond I've ever read?? A lovely remix of the usual 'Lucerys locked up and married off to Aemond during or post-Dance' where it's Aemond locked up, but the arranged marriage happened a long time ago pre-Dance. Regularly getting updated too, so anyone who likes omega!Aemond--READ THIS!!!

Real gods require blood by maya28 - (edit) I can’t believe I forgot to include this one—speaking of ‘Lucerys locked up during or post-Dance’ here is my new favorite for this trope. Possibly will surpass anything else at this rate it’s THAT good in writing style, characterization, and plot (not to mention the smut gahhhhhh), and it’s regularly updating! Pleeaaaase everyone read this.

hamartia by hypothesistest @goodbadbaby - Another omega!Aemond (and finished), but modern and full of catholic guilt. Chef's kiss!

tonight I'm gonna cut it out and restart by alphayamergo - Okay, so it's rhaenicent, but surprisingly in Otto's POV and I still loved it. That tells you how well this cute, hilarious one-shot is written, lol.

the loving needs the bleeding by monkkeyslut - Both rhaenicent and lucemond, modern horror inspired by the show 'Midnight Mass' and written by monkkeyslut so of course I just had to read it.

Nekonarashi by @chibifier - Filthy, noncon but also kind of funny??? Idk man, all I can say is this: Lucerys wearing cat ears & tail + Aemond in a business suit = yes

Nobody Nothing Nowhere by hypothesistest - definitely the darkest thing I've read in a while....I almost hesitate to flat out recommend it, even though it's written beautifully. All I can say is that the ending is SO satisfying and if you can handle a lot of sad underage/noncon content, the catharsis of the last chapter is more than a fic has made me feel in a while.

If you read any of these, remember to give the authors some love :) it's the biggest contribution we readers can make to keep this fandom going!!