#THIS FUCKING TURTLE I STG

[mariusroyale]

wait a damn minute

HOW COME RAPH WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO HELD HIS ESCAPE POD

everyone else had theirs already configuring around them EXCEPT RAPH????

DON’T TELL ME HE REQUESTED THAT

[mad3lyncline]

𝑻𝑬𝑿𝑻𝑺 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑨𝑵 𝑼𝑵𝑯𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑬𝑫 𝑴𝑼𝑺𝑬 𝑹𝑶𝑺𝑻𝑬𝑹 . starters taken from ridiculous texts my muses have sent on wire / discord .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] did you know turtles smell thru their butts i think i'm pretty sure

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] okay so you hate soup ?? i'm telling the soup and bisque communities

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] you're gonna be so shocked and embarrassed you ever doubted me

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] trying to figure out how to work alvin and the chipmunks into my daily routine , thoughts ?

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH [ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] fuck no 💀

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i'm gonna bite ur knees clean off i stg

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] is there an olympic event for drinking vodka lemonade 🤔

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i crack myself up actually ???? skill issue

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] WHAT KIND OF PSYCHOPATH DO YOU THINK I AM OBVIOUSLY I USED MILK

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i bet in philadelphia they would be kind and understanding if i said it wrong

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] yeah well you're also ceo of the stinky butthole corporation

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] shut up i'm gonna poke you in the pee hole

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] how mind blowing does the head need to be for you to come with me to a jonas brothers concert 🤔🤔

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] what if i bought a butter churn

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] what do you have against crunchy chicken

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] do you think spongebob and sandy have boned

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] do you think plankton and karen the computer wife are trapped in a loveless marriage

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] do you think patrick is permafried

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] we don't have to go to waffle house [ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] let's go to waffle HOME

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] good good so in conclusion i'm always right and you should agree with me always and also tell me i'm pretty 24/7

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] im gonna kick ur ass in a pillow fight later

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i have to bc if i ever turn into a spider with one human leg i'm FUCKED

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] you tried :/ it was endearing in a what the hell is wrong with you sort of way

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] what if they like murder and hate puppies

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] how long is the gestation period for a giraffe

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] birds [ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] what do we think

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] we might as well just make out about it i guess

[morning-sun-brah]

Howdy... Again...

Chapter Three of Flight of the Dove is here, my loves. And OF COURSE, it was always meant to be this long, and NO I am NOT gaslighting you!

And also, @unknownfanartist did a fucking AMAZING piece of art for this chapter and I am SCREAMING over it!!

LOOK AT HIM!! dflkjsdlfj;asofa;kdf;asdklf

I'm that gif of the feral dog over this shit I stg. And if you didn't know, Unknown has a Patreon where you can see all kinds of incredible art- even a few more cowboy turtles! The link is here if you are interested- and it is definitely worth the membership!

Tag List!

@rheawritesforfun, @rosetherandomreblogger, @turtle-babe83, @zprites, @el-chiste, @m00nchildthings, @s-s-ironnie, @pxl8ed @thelaundrybitch @some-french-asshole @hijinxensues @gabile18 @m0om0obell @shakeyourtrees @rebel-hamato

If you'd like tagged in future fics, let me know with a comment! Hopefully I didn't miss anyone!

[emmettspeakz]

Sword AF Season 2, Episode 1 liveblogs (and highlights)

-Fernie chugging alcohol that doesn't affect him at all. I stg it just pours out of his mouth hole afterwards haha loveeee it!

-ah, new characters: Percy, the keeper of ppl's secrets. Cursty, Shawn the intern/ship cook. And the return of Kevin the Moth!!! Yay!!!

-Cursty and Shawn might fuck later oh dear God. Dolores is mothering them so hard right now hahaha

Dolores you're such a mother oh my goddd, can't wait to get to your lore a bit more.

-Delores "Dinghy" Paradise is canon

-They have 12 dinghies in total on the ship. Canonically.

-THEY GET A SHIT TON OF CANNONS FOR ROLLING A NAT 20. DAMN WTF I LOVE THIS!!!

-wow, can't believe a real-life talking dragon turtle is not our heroes' biggest problem right now damn

-I can't believe Fernie is hearing fish being murdered in the kitchen. What is this? a The Boys episode??? MORBID, but i dig it.

-Fernie is canonically scared of metal huh? No wonder, this fucking guy is freaky, I'd hate him too Fernie.

-there's a metal ship?? like a ship made out of metal??

-what is fernace eternum? THIS CEO?? WHO IS HE?? WILL THERE BE MORE FERNIE LORE???? please I BEGGG

[em0-snail]

Also wait what the fuck

Stg I've talked about this before but here we go again lmao >:3

It was late 2021 and some local conventions had just opened back up. This was during the first huge wave of popularity and I was fucking living for it so I did a lil BF cosplay and my girlfriend at the time of course cosplayed GF with me :))

We were like 16 or 17ish back then and of course we did the responsible thing: Skip school for the entire day and not tell our parents we were traveling an hour away to the largest city in the state to go to a fucking anime convention.

The con itself was actually super fun??? Our cosplays weren't like top tier (again keep in mind we were young we did this shit on a highschoolers budget). We met the fucking ninja turtles?????

Anyways though after the con we were super hungry and walking down the street to the parking garage and attempting to find a place to eat because our asses were STARVING.

This super tall older dude (like clearly balding, at least in his late thirties) got our attention as soon as we walked out of the convention center because he did the fucking pico rap at us all the way across the street but like??? With his voice?? (It did. Not sound good. He had to yell it because cars were passing and it just was not a thing you should do with your voice compared to calculator noises or some shit)

I kinda ignored the funny rapping and asked if he knew of any hotdog places nearby. I don't think I was rude or anything but he stopped making noises at us and just kinda hit us with this blank stare. We weren't really creeped out and just kept walking.

The parking garage was like half a mile away so we had a lot of walking to do. We noticed him behind us on the other side of the road a few times but again weren't really creeped out or anything (neither of us had been to a big city before, we had no idea what the hell to look out for).

Once we were like halfway there the street got kinda narrow and had less traffic. We heard someone running and when we turned around the guy was fucking booking it twords us. Thankfully we had enough common sense and survival instincts to realize we were about to get fucking snatched and started running like our asses were on fire. We hid in a coffee shop for like 20 minutes until we knew for sure he was gone.

The best part was me n my gf switched shoes as soon as we left the convention (she couldn't walk that well in heels but I could, we also wore the same size shoes so it just made sense to swap) so for a couple of blocks I was hauling ass in fucking stilettos.

We didn't see him again thankfully but we seen him on the news a year later after he got arrested for attempting (and thankfully failing) to kidnap some different cosplayers at the same damn convention.

Uhhh TLD;r Dumb teenager harnesses the Boyfriend kinnie energy and almost got kidnapped because he wanted to get some chili dogs

Also bonus but while I was looking for pictures from the convention I found a picture of my dad's dog when he was a puppy wearing my fucking pentagram choker

[amevello-blue]

Rules: Name 10 of your favorite characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people to do the same!

UH UH UH-- I don't even think I know 10 different shows holy fuck

Leonardo from Ninja Turtles

Undyne from Undertale

Ginger from Black Beauty

Pearl from Steven Universe

Tohru from Fruits Basket

Skulduggery Pleasant from Skulduggery Pleasant

Miyamoto Usagi from Usagi Yojimbo

Stitch from Lilo & Stitch

Spirit from Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron

Riley Matthews from Girl Meets World

I feel like..... some of mine probably aren't well-known..... AND LOOK I KNOW I HAVE TWO HORSES AS MY FAVS BUT... BUT LOOK.... Spirit's cool as hell and I love Ginger sm I will never be over her. I'm gonna write a fucking Black Beauty au where they have happy endings one of these days I stg. Don't tempt me. Don't even tempt me. DEE, CROW, I SEE YOU BOTH, AND I'M SAYING NO.

I tag... whoever wants??? I GUESS?? gkdjgh I don't like tagging people

[loumauve]

apparently kissing sb of a certain gender makes you have that sexuality so now I'm unsure what the fuck I am. does that mean I have to identify as pan now bc that asshole kid kissed me when I was 11 even tho I just wanted to look at the tiny turtles in his fish tank? and bc one of my exes identified as nb at the time we were dating, and bc I kissed a girl a few times while we were dating?

does that also mean I can no longer identify as ace bc I had sex at least once?

some of y'all are so fucking stupid I stg

[dragon-spaghetti]

Quick lil thing based on a post I made on twitter that blew tf up; Donnie is a cat I stg

(Please click for better quality!!)

[h0tr0dimus]

Ok ok so hi I need some help over here.

So since the ROTTMNT movie is coming out I’ve been looking back at old fan content I enjoyed and I remembered this one tmnt fanfic I really liked but I can’t seem to find it anywhere? I don’t remember the name but I remember seeing fanart (or just art idk) for it and it was pre Cassandra Jones reveal so the Casey here is a fan Casey and not either of the Rise Casey’s. Just to be clear.

So some things I remember are that there’s a part where Raph goes to a plant store to buy some succulents with the others. It was mainly Raph focused and was an AU where mutants and humans and yokai coexisted. Casey or their family owned the plant shop and Raph and Casey become friends and do some vigilante stuff I think. Another scene I remember, that I saw some art for, was a scene with Raph and Donnie in the car and now that I’m typing this I remember that it’s cause D wanted to come with Raph and Casey and I think Raph was grounded at this point??? Maybe???

Anyways, I’ve been looking all over for any traces of this fic cause I wanted to reread it but I can’t find it for the life of me, so if anyone has it or knows what fic I’m talking about please please please tell me this has been driving me up the wall for like, weeks now.

[natjennie]

"you did a very good job guillermo" "this is from all of us" *you are a very good familiar bodyguard* "you are the bodyguard :)" "we're all a big family here" THE CASINO IS AN EPISODE THAT CAN BE SO PERSONAL

[statuesarecooliguess]

okay im just gonna keep typing not repeated reblogs to avoid TOO much repeats of the post

AHHH MIKEY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

😭😭😭😭😭

KILL HIM DONNIE

FUCKING KILL HIM

FUCK YOU U UTROM BITCH

karai i stg ur duty does NOT command u to do this. like ur hot sure but. man. not worth it

LEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AND RAPH IMMEDIATELY AFTER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

LEOS FUCKING CORPSE??? THEY SHOW THE FUCKING CORPSE??? HIM *AND* RAPH????

KILL HER APRIL

I LOVE KARAI BUT II LOVE U MORE NOW AVENGE UR BROSSSSSS

donnie im gonna sob my sweet baby boy only sixteen you need SO MUCH FUCKING THERAPY AFTER THIS WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

hes. hes the last turtle standing

im crying

"there's always hope! no matter what!! and....thank you" april pls ur mcfucking KILLING ME!!!!!

okay im not finishing the ultimate draco arc rn bc i have been awake for like. 28 hours at this point. if not a bit more. and i desperately need sleep. but. god. GOD

HERE WE FUCKING GO BABIES. THIRD PART OF THE TMNT 2003 ULTIMATE DRACO ARC

SAME AS IT NEVER WAS

[seaquestions]

is my post Not Showing Up in the tags or smthn.......

[cazzle-dazzle]

I live blogged my thoughts while watching the ROTTMNT movie in the notes app

Here it is:

* Oooh it’s finally out!!

* What’s this? A video game perspective?

* Casey’s trans???

* Oh nvm it’s in the future

* Casey’s son?

* LEO SWORE?!?!?!

* Well there’s a bit detailed blood, is this gonna be gritty?

* Ok what the fuck is happening

* MIKEY WHAT

* OH NO

* Oh no I hate time travel plots uuuggghhhhh

* There’s gone be hella second hand embarrassment, huh?

* Art style is looking HELLA good tho

* How are future!Casey and Cassandra!Casey gonna interact?

* Calling it now, Raph’s gonna die and that’s why future!Leo tells future!Casey “not everything is about you”

* Yay it’s the worm and the Hippo!!

* Sick ass chase scene

* Always here for big brother Raph content

* Leo you little shit

* Ayy April!!

* WTF THE DESK POSE HAHAHA

* I love women using their wits for mischief

* Bro DO NOT walk up behind someone in the dark tf

* Oh no poor kids gonna be throwing straight gasoline onto the fire that is Leo’s ego

* At least now Leo’s gonna have to be responsible over someone right?

* Ok introduction was not nearly as second-hand embarrassing as I thought it would be, good

* Why do the Foot Clan insist on causing problems?

* SICK ASS FIGHT SCENE!!

* THE KRANG CAN TAKE MAGIC?!??? OH NO

* OH FUCK PLZ DONT KILL RAPH

* OH FUVK SPLINTER?????

* Why not escape pod just Splinter?

* RAPH N O

* OH FUCK

* OMG HES ALIVE YEAHHHH

* oh I loooovvvve the art style <3<3<3

* OH HELL MIND READING

* Damn this is dark

* God, I love Donnie

* Indeed it is Mikey, the future is harsh

* “Were”? I mean I was kinda thinking something happens to Donnie since he didn’t show up in the beginning but “WERE”??????

* HE SAID “ARE” FOR MIKEY DONNIE FUCKING DIES

* Wait I thought the turtle tank thing was 3D animated, is it stop motion?? That’s so cool

* APRIL SPLINTER RUN

* DONNIE???

* Oh it’s only gonna get worse isn’t it???????

* Chekhov’s mysterious government acid

* Uh oh, the turtles are split up even more

* Fuck I knew they die

* Casey’s being a bit harsh tho, this is Leo before YEARS of growth of course he’s gonna be inexperienced in leading

* Oh I love the art style 🥰

* Ayy teamwork

* God, Mikey’s naivety HURTS to watch LIKE BUDDY U’RE GONNA GET HURT

* RAPH

* OH NO MIND CONTROL

* OH FUCK ITS WORSE

* I’m gonna need so much fluffy content after this goddamn ;-;

* Man “portal opening over New York City” sure is a popular trope

* Plz tell me Raph finds a way to resist the Krang’s influence oh please oh pleas e

* Well that is some mass destruction

* CINEMATIC PEP TALK AYYYYY

* I will never get over ROTTMNT’s visuals they’re SO GOOD

* as cool as this Casey is, WHERE is the other one??

* I’m kinda surprised how well they’re balancing the dark/serious stuff with the comedy

* Yo is that the construction site from the first episode? Nice callback

* Yay for Donnie trying to conquer his fear, but ain’t that gonna Krang-ify him too? Like the direct contact gonna infect him

* Donnie you better not fucking die with your shell exposed

* He is a spaceship

* Ah yes Leo, the moment of realization

* Damn this movie goes HARD

* OH LEO HE TRUSTS RAPH SO MUCH AHHHHHHH

* RAPH BREAK OUT OF IT

* HE’S BACK!!!

* NO LEO

* AYYYY LEO BEING A LEADER LET’S GO!!!!!!

* THEY SAID IT!!!!!! THEY SAID THE THING!!!!!!!!

* Oh everything’s ok now, they’re gonna win

* It’s all uphill from here <3

* Oh shit

* Death

* Or not

* Oh is Mikey gonna get his magic hands??

* OH THEY’RE COMBINING THEIR POWERS!!

* It didn’t work?

* GET EM

* Oh not the left behind brother again

* Damn there’s still 20 minutes left?

* Oh boy

* Oh he gonna sacrifice himself

* THE SWORDS ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE HE BETTER TELEPORT BACK I STG

* FUCKING TAKE THE KEY CASEY

* not the fucking “catchphrase” that’s so Leo 😭

* OH NOT THE PICTURE AHHHH

* OH NO LEO

* HES CRYING

* KID IS WHAT, 15??? POOR BOY 😭😭😭

* No, no, no bring him back Casey!!! Use the swords!!!

* MIKEYYYY

* GET YOUR BROTHER BACK

* GET HIM GET HIM GET HIM GET HIM

* MIKEY LET’S GOOOOO!!!!!

* Oh they’re ok now 😭😭

* Except April & Splinter still have that deranged Krang

* Oh got encased in chemicals, good

* This is really cute, but I’m still confused about the other Casey

* THERE SHE IS

* TEXT

* Glad she was out kicking ass too 🥰

* Wish we could’ve saw it tho

* YAYYYY BACK TO SILLY STUFF!!

* The end <3

* Good movie 👍

[the-stray-liger]

You've never talked with a canadian lawyer about credit scores have you

Me: I wanna work as a mortician so my clients never talk to me again

Mom: sometimes the dead speak

Me: I highly doubt they would come back from the other side to talk to me about their fucking credit scores

[guqin-and-flute]

Banquet Face Journey’s in Episode 26

(1) JGY: my bullshit detector is going off oh god oh no this asshole i stg

[TRANSCRIPT BELOW]

(2) Jin Zixun: hey i have the greatest fucking idea it’s so great like insult the central tenants of your clan great wanna hear it??? chug this

(3) LXC: *siiiiiiiiiiigh*

(4) LXC: okay so this is happening now, i guess

(5) Jin Zixun: DRINK MY WINE R U INSULTING ME TAKE A FUCKIN SIP BRO OMG AREN’T WE FREINDS?? C'MON U SCARED?

JGY: how u doin’, bb? i’m sorry about him

(6) LXC: i meaaaan not idea

(7) Jin Zixun: OMG DUDE WHAT’S UR PROBLEM IT’S JUST A DRINK MAN WHAT ARE YOU A PUSSSSSSS-

JGY: can u fuckin NOT?

(8) LXC: u ok?

(9) LWJ: i mean no i have the alcohol tolerance of a fucking baby turtle u know this plus i hate people and parties and this fucker in particular

(10) JGY: *tfw ur asshole cousin harrasses our straight edge boyfriend in the middle of a party*

(11) JGY: HEY I HAVE A GREAT IDEA

(12) JGY: LET’S STOP CAN WE DO THAT? CAN WE STOP NOW?? pls omg i hate this so much

(13) Jin Zixun: wtf party pooper

JGY: we are all having a nice evening could you please shut your stupid face

LXC: it’ll be okay, bro i got this

LWJ: don’t really think u do but ok

(14) JGY: i’m not gonna regret killing you even slightly

Jin Zixun: what?

JGY: nothing

LXC: ok bud u made wangji uncomfortable ur officially on my shit list

LWJ: i mean… i’m literally 2nd ranked cultivator

LXC: and i’m 1st hush now

(15) Jin Zixun: DUDE UR BOYFRIEND IS A WUSS WHY YOU FREAKING OUT BRO?

JGY: ah at the whims of assholes always where i want to be why do you do this to me

(16) LXC: i could literally end you right now, u know it wouldn’t even be hard this is really cool of u, jzx were it not for the laws ofthis land and my own self control, i would have slaughtered you

(17) Jin Zixun: CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG (x infinity off the page)

JGY: oh god he’s mad that’s his mad smile I’M TRYING HERE OK I REALLY AM

(18) LWJ: jfc could this day get any worse i’m just gonna think about all the great things that just happened in the forest OH WAIT there weren’t any

NMJ: should i be…doing something? stabbing someone maybe? keeping XICHEN from stabbing someone?

(19) LXC: WELP down the hatch i fuckin GUESS wow politics are just so fun

(20) LXC: *slorp*

(21) JGY: what’s the opposite of turned on? horrified? sounds about right

Jin Zixun: hell yeah bottoms up bro

LXC: #suffering

LWJ: wtf peer pressure is BAD brother

Random Jin Guard in the corner: hate these fuckin parties

(22) LXC: thanks for the invite, jin clan learned a lot today didn’t know alcohol tastes so much like rage hello darkness my old friend [in the headband] This_Is_Fine.jpeg

(23) Jin Zixun: READY, BABY LAN BITCH

JGY: i fucking hate family reunions

LWJ: i’m gonna crush ur fuckin skull with my m i n d

Bonus background stares

(BONUS) JGY: i’m so sorry ilysm

LXC: i also love you

JGY: i fuckin tried

LXC: i know u did

[i guess this will be a thing now? here’s more]

[tallytals]

🎬📺 Share ten different favorite characters from ten different pieces of media in no particular order 🎮🃏 Then send this to 10 people (anon or not, your choice) /nf

i'm sorry it took so long i kept forgetting 💀

you’re fine dude, also rori if you see this i accidentally deleted the one you sent me 😭

sun wukong lego monkie kid. you don’t get it i will never shut up about him ever. defending him with my LIFE I STG I JUST WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY PLEASE

k,,,,, kai ninjago— [gets shot]

five the umbrella academy. fucking menace. unhinged old man. hasn’t caught a break in like 40 years, im encouraging all of his crimes

THUNDER FROM SUPER GIANT ROBOT BROTHERS. IM ONLY ON EPISODE THREE BUT HE’S SUCH A BITCH AND I LOVE HIM FOR IT

sokka avatar the last airbender,,,, im slowly being sucked back in

STEVE HARRINGTON STRANGER THINGS. MY GOD. HIM.

AMAYA THE DRAGON PRINCE I CANT WAIT FOR SEASON 4

gus the owl house. he’s a lil guy, a funky little illusionist

EKKO ARCANE EKKO ARCANE EKKO ARCANE E

MIKEY RISE OF THE TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES