#THIS CAN BE MY THESIS 😭
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Okay, my brain refuses to think about anything other than Murderbot, so I looked at every use of the word "friend[s]" in TMBD and... created some pie charts. Normal human activities.
Some Thoughts™ I had while putting this together (under the cut):
In All Systems Red, Murderbot notes that the PresAux crew are all close friends (twice! and goes on to explain their internal relationships which I think is very cute). This is pretty much the only use of 'friends' in ASR, except for when Murderbot says that SecUnits can't be friends with each other.
It seems that this may be one of the first times Murderbot has ever really been around a group of friends before? Murderbot notes that this is not the norm for its contracts and admits that the fact that they are all friends and the way they interact with each other make it actually enjoy that contract (before!!!! the hostile attack, so it already enjoys this contract before they start seeing it as a person etc ghghhhh). [Inference: Friendship seems enjoyable.]
The first character that calls Murderbot its friend is ART in Artificial Condition. Murderbot immediately refutes this (and then goes on to call ART its friend to its clients for the rest of the book). [Inference: Maybe ART is Murderbot's friend. And maybe that is... agreeable]
Rogue Protocol has more than twice as many instances of the word 'friend' as any of the other novellas. Why? Miki. Friendship and its implications for non-humans are a central theme because Miki is friends with everyone. Murderbot initially scoffs at the notion that Miki and Miki's humans are friends. At the end of the book, after witnessing how desperately Don Abene tried to stop Miki from trying to save them, and her grief after its death, Murderbot has to admit that she had in fact been Miki's friend. [Inference: Humans can be friends with bots and can sincerely care about them]
In Exit Strategy, Murderbot tentatively uses the word "friends" for its humans for the first time (several times actually). It questions whether it can actually call them its friends or not and later realizes that it had been afraid what admitting that the humans are its friends would do to it. At the end of the book, Mensah tells Murderbot the PresAux crew are its friends, which is the first time a human has directly said that to it (at least on-page). [Inference: Humans can and want to be Murderbot's friends]
In Network Effect, Murderbot seems to be more habituated to the word 'friend', confidently calling ART and Ratthi its friends, like it is no longer just trying the concept on unsure if it fits. There are many instances in which other characters refer to MB as ART's friend or the other way around and Murderbot's humans refer to Murderbot as their friend several times. Generally, there seems to be less hesitancy, because yes, all of them are Murderbot's friends, why wouldn't they be. [Inference: SecUnits can have friends. This SecUnit has friends. They care about it a lot.]
Conclusion: The Murderbot Diaries tell the story of a construct that does not seem to consider the possibility of friendship for itself and is fine with that - until it accidentally starts caring a little too much and suddenly more and more people annex it as a friend (ew) to the point where it can no longer deny that this is happening and has to begrudgingly admit that yes, it has friends now and maybe that is actually not a bad thing.
#the murderbot diaries#murderbot#𓄿#hi i'm READY to write a thesis about murderbot i am having way too much fun with this#i created a pretty excel spreadsheet and everything#i don't know why i did this but now i can look at them while i think about this more! so i figured i'd share them haha#i didn't count uses of 'friendly' but special shoutout to when MB is all alone in its cold cubicle missing 20% of its body mass#and starts putting on a show because 'the friendly noise would keep it company' 😭😭#i feel sick thinking about murderbot all alone on its own not knowing what its like to have friends watching media for 'the friendly noise'#also YES okay i wanted to make a point about miki there but i just#couldn't bring myself to talk about that more so... yeah#also uhhh this data is very subjective#i didn't count particularly ironic uses of 'friend' and generally did not count every instance of friend and sometimes it was a hard call#also i probably shouldn't have counted the times murderbot refered to drones or secsystems as its friends (often after hacking them)#but murderbot does seem to care about them and shows kindness and respect and sometimes points out that a system is friendly#so while i don't think MB means “friend” in the same way referring to them as when it refers to ART for instance#i still think its CUTE and also kinda funny how many times that happened so i decided to keep those!!!#but yeah take my data with a grain of salt lol
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My thesis supervisor: I've been thinking about something you said last week - that you aren't sure if you're going to do a master's degree. I believe you mean you're considering moving to another city?
Me: ...no. I'm not sure if I'm going to do a master's at all.
Him: why not?
Me: I worry it'll be too hard for me.
Him: [gives me a long look] Do you hear yourself?
#ajsidksnsksksjd#i only went there to ask if i can skip next thesis lab and to show him the spectra i worked on over the weekend#how did we end up talking about [gestures vaguely] this#he said he never forces students to do anything but he already has a msc thesis topic for me 😭#i was like im going through a hard time rn#and he said not to take any decisions then bc it's a bad idea and to wait for it to pass instead#bc then hopefully ill 'realize what im saying now' snjhsks#he also called me meticulous and of great intellectual potential and i was just like :')))#he doesn't give compliments away on a daily basis okay#he said im just not brave enough yet and that a chemist has to be a little crazy lol#phew my goodness did i need to hear something like this#txt#op#thesis tag
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so this is very embarrassing but i tanked my laptop yesterday (a week before submitting my thesis. everything is going great can you tell), my bike got messed with so i gotta go get it fixed, and this time next week i gotta print my thesis and have it bound three times. all of this will land me at several hundred €€€. i can get my bike fixed in spring or live without a laptop and study for my finals in some other way technically, but if anyone would like to chip in, that’d be super appreciated 🥺🫶
here’s my ko-fi. anything helps! 🤍🌷
#ne coming down one morning to find my bike without springs or brakes and the saddle on the floor: …honestly might as well 🤧#re: laptop — i’m in my clumsy girl era what can i say 😭😭#and the thesis well welcome to germany ig can you believe it’s that expensive 😭😭 it’s not even good like poor paper it’s being printed on#mutual aid#it’s not like super urgent but urgh i don’t have a casual thousand euros to spend 🫥
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Just finished "flying machine 2.0" mission..... Just bc of that I have decided in my HC Ezio hates that stupid fckn thing
#It took me way too long to realize my Hrz was 180 and that was the problem#but that thing controls so bad😭#ugh#aka why no art today#now that thesis is over I can finish it#by it i mean ezio trilogy
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The new season of Dimension 20 is gonna be absolutely unhinged and unpredictable
#with THAT cast??? yeah anything can happen#I’m so excited#also it’s after I’m done with my thesis defense so I’ll actually be able to enjoy it 😭💞#dimension 20#never stop blowing up#d20#dropout tv
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frowny face. i’ll be honest actually do think it’s kinda concerning how people can’t just. sit down and take characters or media with a critical eye sometimes on here, like there’s stuff idgaf abt like i don’t care that you like a character that was a murderer or corny villain or something that literally doesn’t matter. that is literally the least of my worries i literally do not care. it’s more of like. being in infatuated with characters that are like egregious racists, literal nazis….. slave owners .. actual oppressors who hate minorities very loudly IN their media 😭 and the people backing you up and supporting you very loudly that u like them. like idk if it’s bc I see fandom spaces in a different lens already bc ( gestures to self ) black person. any ounce of criticism you give to someone is deflected with tears or wanting pity for liking the media they like cause they ‘can’t help it’ and I’m like. is. is this really how you live your life .
#I just think it’s funny bc people will fight tooth and nail for their lil nazi character#and in the same breath never bat and eye at a black person 😭😭#it’s like . You know there’s people . Who are part of groups who see you want to make smoochy face at these characters right 😭😭#I’ve had my fair share of side eyeing people you know. 😭😭#i can literally write a whole thesis on fandomication and the coddling people do to eachother over their odd little medias#idk man it just makes my skin itch 😭😭#txt
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Last arcane episode ever..... here we fucking go....
#50 MINUTES YEAAAAHHH!! IM SO GLAD THEY HAVE BEEN GETTING LONGER THERE WAS NO WAY!!!#the last drop no..... YEEEEEEEEEEES EKKO!!!!!! OH MY GOOOOOD YEEEEEEEES always a dance with you OOOOOOOOHHHHH she even has the same hair 😭#is she gonna build the new zaun for isha.... like vander wanted for vi and powder.... 😭😭😭 with ekko 😭😭😭#watching jinx kill herself over and over is something else that was so funny.... im sorry but ajdkansk#WHATS WITH THOSE CUTS WHATS GOING ON.... WDYM WE ARE MEANT TO LOSE THIS FIGHT??? IN THE FUTURE HE SAW RIGHT???#OH ITS THAT GIRL VI IS CARRYING OMG BUT SHE IS LOOKING FOR JINX!!! NOOO SHE FUCKING DIEEED AMBESSA IS A BEAST!!! DID THEY GET CAIT???#VANDER NOOOO OOOH ITS VIKTOR TOO!!ITS OOOOOOVER maddie being there still..... a consensual workplace relationship... cait....#LORIS!!!! VIIIIIIIIIIIII caitlyn looks so good..... and vi too.... but did they run out of armors.... the guy who left his family DIED TOO!!#caitlyn that was so hot.... they got her.... MADDIE!!!! WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK I THOUGHT THAT WOULD NOT EEEEEVER HAPPEN!!! AK WITH HER OWN GUN!#OH MY GOD MEL!!! MADDIE EXECUTED FOR HER CRIMES!!!! i know people are cheering!!! JINX ON HER BLIMP!!! the egg was a distraction.....#jayce be ready for your divorce.... THE HALO!!! THE VOICE!!! his voiced softened when he said to see you omg... SEVIKA NOOOOOOOOO#cait and mel joining forces to maximize their joint (literal) slay against ambessa.... and vi and jinx vs vander.... cruel#beef squashed..... no way she died????? omg... we havent seen caits left side.... and she was bleeding.... one fear. VIKTOR IS SO TALL!!!#how does it feel to look up jayce.... also jinx saying they are always together 🥺🥺 they are flying again.... omg jinx looks so scared...#OH NOOOOOO SEE CAIT HURT HER EYEE viktor saying they want better lives but emotion clashes with reason after a season of just that.... omg#series thesis.... this is actually so meta if i may say so.... vander and silco.... jinx and vi and the rocket... cait and ambessa....#and finally jayce saving viktor.... and jayce searching for the arcane after he was saved as a kid.... all of it..... ALL OF IT....#THE BOY SAVIOR!!!! VIKTOR IS BACK!!!! HE WANTS HIS PARTNER BACK OMG#YES THE MAGE IS VIKTOR!!!! OH MY GOOOD!!! ONLY YOU CAN SHOW ME THIS! CAITVI FUCKED ON SCREEN AND SOMEHOW THIS IS GAYER!!!#JAYCE!!! YOU ARE ALRIGHT!!! EKKO MADE THAT WITH AN INVERSION OF JAYCES RUNE!! OF COURSE!!! THE WTO MEN AND THE ANOMALY!!!#they are literally adam and steve... VI OMG!!!! SHE CANT TAKE IT NOOOOOO JINX AND VANDER!!!! NOOOO EKKO ALONEEEE NOOOO#SEVIKA COUNCIL MEMBER!!! CAIT GAVE HER HER SEAT!!! AND SINGED AND HIS DAUGHTER!!! MEL WHAT THE HELL!!! BACK TO NOXUS???#caitlyn seeing that jinx escaped through the air ducts... yeah..... she is on that blimp#can you believe we ended arcane with two happy lesbians..... like everything went to hell jayce and viktor saved it and disappeared....#through it all one thing remained.. two lesbians in love <3 can we get an applause for two lesbians in love.... they made a band about this#(love of lesbian)#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#you know towards the end the characters looked a lot more like normal 3d animated... idk how to explain it
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thesis proposal defense tomorrow 😞😞😞.
#literally a day before the defense (today).....i discovered a bunch of corrections on our manuscript BWAHAHHSHSHA FUCKKKKKK.#waiting for our thesis coordinators reply if we can still resubmit revisions 😭😭😭😭.#this paper is so fucking ambitious and annoying and LONG!!!!! this is gonna be three months of analysis good god.#put my other paper on the table for now........after the defense tmrw my girl friends planned a night out#but this girlie is socially exhausted what i need is a nap and binge watch all the gose and what door eps i missed BWAHAHAHHAA.#wish me fucking luck i'm going to vomit.
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Lost 4.10 | Something Nice Back Home
#lost#lostedit#tvedit#lost spoilers#kate austen#jack shephard#nikolatexla#so... they ended up together huh?#but i was shipping kate and sawyer 😭#i'm good with jack and kate anyways#although i certainly knew jack was skeptical from the very beginning#bc he literally blamed his father for sleeping with his wife lol#there are so many scenes i forgot to gif#bc i have my finals next week and a thesis to finish#i'm finally graduating so i can gif more lol
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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[shaking and biting] but what does it MEAN. what does it SAY what is the THEME
#akkdlflf i watched this long lecture video abt austrian national identity and the researcher said 'the austrians are quite adept at#selling the austro hungarian monarchy back to tourists incl ones from former parts of the empire... but even in the imperial nostalgia they#don't want back multilingualism or multiculturalism or any of what it actually was'#(it was a lot abt the way in which austria deals with orban's hungary in and after the 2015 refugee crisis)#ajskgldo and that just made me think about... how pointless some things feel. both in fiction and in academic research#you CAN say meaningful things about almost any topic and with almost any argument! but in some strands of history trying to 'uncover events'#with no exploration of the context and what it all MEANS and what the things we think about it mean#is the most prevalent and popular type of research :/ like there's a reason i overrely on hamann's bio of rudolf because her central thesis#is that he wasnt a crazy murderer but someone with a forward-thinking political vision that went as far as suggesting a sort of 'proto-EU'#among other things#so like. she is looking at what it all MEANS!!!#and like. my favourite todolf fanfics are also like that 😂😭 perhaps not abt politics but about suffering and power dynamics and guilt#same for original fiction. i'm never happy if a book i'm reading isnt saying something#or then again - this is more personal pickiness but. they should also be saying something NEW AND INTERESTING#a lot of the time. sometimes if you have a fave trope you can just enjoy it over and over#but idk even tropey stuff can say things#ajlsldkfkf i'm just so tired of kitsch in all its forms and also of bad science
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WHY WONT MY ADVISOR EMAIL ME BACKKKK
#she totally like. ditched the meeting i had asked her for (and i sent TWO emails about this to confirm!!)#and she didnt even EMAIL me anything like. ma'am. can you please let me know what's up 😭#i have some QUASTIONS about my thesis..#another day of me fuming over my inbox 😭
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IT'S OFFICIAL. I'M DOING MY THESIS ON VIDEO GAMES
#idk if I can say exactly what video game I'm talking about in case the list of thesis papers is ever public & someone can find me that way#but erm I just got off the phone with T. I'm pretty happy about that. I'm so glad I get to do this. she said this is the first#dissertation about video games that she's ever supervised. I said it's an honour :o)#ALSOOOOOOOO SHE THANKED ME FOR THE PHOTOS I SENT FROM MY TRIP AND SHE SAID I'M GLAD YOU'RE BACK SAFE 😭😭😭
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the urge to make silly little mood boards for me and my silly little characters who I love sm
#selfship ━ 🏹#everyone’s are so pretty 😭#gnawing rn#maybe I can treat myself since I finished another subsection of my thesis#chat am I cringe rn
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@lesharl-eclair here is the vettonso timeline I mentioned at some point!! I was gonna make a more refined version but ah, the original is fine so I'm posting it for you <3
Its written so its as if their careers began at the same time. There's obviously some parts where they deviate from each other(I blame Fernando), but they're pretty similar, no??
Here's some notes I have:
They both started at technically the same team(if you ignore that Seb raced one race for Sauber): Minardi/STR. And they spent 3 seasons either racing for that team or testing(Fernando for Renault, Seb for BMW teams), before being promoted to the team where they won their respective WDCS.
They both spent six seasons with their WDC team. And both won their WDCs using Renault engines. Both were pretty much the golden boys of their teams, beloved by their team principal and team in general. Unfortunately both aren't consecutive because Fernando tried out McLaren lol.
They spent a similar amount of years at Ferrari(five and six respectively.) Neither could win a WDC with Ferrai(😔) And both joined Ferrari in a very similar way. When Fernando joined, he ousted Kimi and it was very uncertain where Kimi was going. I think the commentators in 2009 predicted McLaren? (But he ended up taking a sabbatical obv.) But pretty messy, right? The literal same exact thing happened with Fernando and Seb in 2014-2015. They finally announced at the end of the season, even though it was pretty obvious, that Seb would be replacing Fernando. And where did Fernando go? McLaren! The history book on the shelf is always repeating itself. I guess I find it funny that Fernando replaced his former rival under somewhat messy circumstances, only for his other rival to do the exact same thing to him years later.
Okay McHonda and Alpine blah blah blah. Anyways they're probably going to have both end up competing their careers after two years with Aston Martin. This honestly is my favorite parallel. Because it's very sweet to me that Seb replaced Fernando, in an aforementioned messy way, only for Fernando to take Seb's seat in a very peaceful, almost "passing the torch" type exchange 🥰
#blah blah blah theyre mirrors do you get it 🥺#i was gonna make one where i took our mclaren and alpine bcs they pretty much match up perfectly#but ig it feels a bit weird to just rip them out of his timeline yknow#i think they still match up regardless of that though#and im sure Fernando prob wouldnt mind too much removing both from his history 😭#i love how kimi is just there as well for both the ferrari replacements#like he was there to be the pawn in fernando's and then there to be the unaffected teammate during the second one 😭#see actually this is why we never got them as teammates#it wouldnt make sense for the mirror theory okay 🙄#cause they have the same career but just a little bit offset#so you can look at it and go wow! and then cry yourself to sleep bcs you then realize you'll never get them as teammates#haha i just bought some merch and they're both in aston racesuits so at least *I'll* have vettonso teammates on a personal level#but i think if i ever draw more of that timeswap au +#i wanna draw them together when they were each at the respective parts of their career#ex. minardi nando x str seb. renault nando x rbr seb. sf nando x sf seb. amr nando x amr seb. YKNOW!?#<- ive already thought of some silly dialog for two of them lmao#anyways this is my thesis thanks. hope you enjoy and agree <3#catie.rambling.txt#vettonso#normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion
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Me, at my social work office just absolutely bawling
#LEWIS PULLMAN THE MAN THAT YOU ARE😭😭😭#lewis pullman#can I interview him for my bachelors thesis pls
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