#THEY LOOK SO UGLY IN THE FIRST IMG

[pastry3]

Redrew my first drawing of metal n chaos 💥

first img drawn on July 31

[quietautumn]

no way guys the fortnite persona collab rumors were real

[superemeralds]

Who is your oldest (like longest had) OC? When did you come up with them, or tell us what the inspiration was!

my oldest oldest OC is Diana, she's a sailor moon self-insert who's the princess of the entire galaxy (as opposed to usagi's pathetic reign over juuust the solar system lmao) and she was sailor star. To be fair thgouh, I did make her before i saw season 5 and that season ruined my entire lore and I kind of dropped sailor moon for a while after that akjfhkajsf but when i was 9 or 10 i started making this sailor moon season 6 comic where my oc was the main character obviously but i was also obsessed w like 5 other certoons and anime so it just all meshed together. also all the other characters wouldnt stop commenting on my character being sooo tomboyish and how she was seen as one of the boys and one conflict was her not wanting to be girly when she transforms... I WONDER WHAT THAT MEANT FOR ME.........🏳️‍⚧️

my oldest OC that i actually have like. well recorded inspo and history of (drew him lots, still use him sometimes) is saph.

he was my sonic self insert at first. in the very beginning he was sonic's long lost sister ♥ back then he used to work for eggman. also i only knew about sonic from sonic x and only the first 2 seasons existed in germany at the time i watched it, so i thought 1) shadow is one of eggmans minions 2) shadow is an ugly jerk and i hated him lol.

(the rest is under cut bc this came out suuuper long)

same story as last oc. at first trying hard to be girly, (also holy shit i found the poerfect img for this)

but that's uncomfortable so i'm making the oc edgy. (notice the "MALE NOSE!!!!") at this point the backstory was that he's a "clone" of sonic shadow and silver.

no wait even better. run around naked like the boy characters.

everyone always confusing the giiirl for a boooy and i genuinely got some hate for my character design bc i shipped him w shadow and wow u cant have a homo OCxCanon ship ewww lmao but oh well.

someone once dared me to do a genderbend and then i just changed the color from white to black and they were angry i didnt do a proper genderbend. while the anti version of the character was a proper girly girl with pink and sparkles and smiles and rainbows and skirts and frilly tops and stupid hairstyle. and ppl complained the anti looked more like a genderbend. (below is the "anti". i can't find the genderbend anymore)

for me it just was my first crack in the egg bc hey. i don't want to be preppy, i want to be emo. but im not allowed bc girls are not meant to be edgy. and im notally not projecting on the boy version of this character more than the girl one. nope.

with every year i reduced the hair pieces at the front lmao but ya after my egg cracked i focused more on making him cool andkeeping him gender neutral. Then i used him to prcess a lot of my ongoing hardships in life. the redesign also being bc of a big shift (well. yeah me transitioning socially lmao)

he's unfortunately associated a lot w that painful time so i don't use him a lot anymore

he came a long way though im proud of him. here's one of the most recent drawings together with his brother (also has lots of lore on how he happened but im not feeling like it rn to go on that tangent)

[unreone]

Art Fight 2024

Stardust Agent UNR30N3, Reporting for duty

Highlighting Crew Member Monty!

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Receivedth Arts:

By SchuytheGreat

Remarks: First Monty art this year and she's included in a mass attack oml!!!! I deeply adore the choice to have her up high, I'm already hearing how loud and tall she is my heart >♡< Show accurate Monty is finally real y'all this is hecking sweet!

By @trisiray

Remarks: SILLIES!!!! Oml look at her eye shape I am melting with her expression here hello???? Sock puppet playtime is something she's highly amused of like WHO IS THIS NEW ENTITY SPEAKING TO ME RUGHT HERE RIGHT NOW POSSESSING YOUR HAND????

By Fatterhorner

Remarks:TEEHEEEHEEHE~!!! The dino lumpers hat stylization is just amusing me far too much, he looks soooo checked out and goofy! Also BWAHHH!!! That's so scary yall I got jumscarrd by Monty. Very concerning monstrous behavior. (Not really BE YOU LIL ONE BE UNABASHADLY YOU!!!)

By @angelpup999

Remarks: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 WHAT IF I CRY????? WHAT IF I STRAIGHT UP TEAR UP UGLY FACE SNIFFLE AND GET SMILEY CRY???????? THIS IS FAR ROO SWEET LOOKING!!!!! ALSO OMLLLLL THAT CHIHAUHAU IN A TREX COSTUME WHERED YOU GET THAT IMG-

This artstyle is so heartwarming to look at. It reminds me of those nice postcard thingies I'd see prop up by the side of the cash register and make me think of homey pies and sitting beside a chimney (I've never seen a chimney personally-)

By BlaireTiqueAbsolute

Remarks: SHE HAPPI!!!!!!! SHE ABSOLUTELY HAVE NO THOUGHTS BEHIND THOSE EYES EXCEPT AMUSEMENT!!!!!!!!! I am happily swaying my feet seeing thisssss ♡♡♡♡♡

By @linlupin

Remarks: Started the month receiving a Monty inclusion mass attack, ending the month receiving another Monty inclusion mass attack. I am absolutely blesed and blissful to spot her (hihihihihi where's Waldo Bluey OCs edition!)MONTY JUST STAY ON THE SHALLOW END OF THE BEACH DON'T YOU DARE LISTEN TO THAT CHEEKY VOICE YOU CAN DIVE DEEP LIKE THE GROWN UPS, THAT'S NOT TRUE, MONTY STAY-

It really shows how much time and care was put into this and my heart is swelling so big I might burst, like this is so thoughtful mate! It's amusing to zoom in and imagine all of their silly own dialogues and interactions.

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That concludes my report for Monty! I'll be posting about my appreci-thoughts on the more other arts I've received!

[maddyshome]

Heeeey the biggest hater (me) is back. By no one’s demand (it was actually a person but I like being dramatic). This one is for you @merlinssassybeard​ and all Gojo Satoru fangirls. I’m here to make your dreams or nightmares come true. 

That’s right. I’m INVALIDATING or VALIDATING your headcanons with the help of my own cursed technique: astrology. Let’s start.

(for references here is this mf’s natal chart im including aspects this time cuz i dont wanna post the same img again. i have no time of birth for him and at this point i dont wanna think so if any of you have a suggestion i’m open for it)

Damn...it’s ugly, right?

First things first. Gojo’s Venus is in Capricorn. His way of loving (venus) someone is much more mature than we might think. Combined with his Pisces Moon, it seems clear to me that he is not at all the type to have a different person in his bed every single night. In fact, hookups don’t seem his thing at all. If he does indulge, he is probably left unsatisfied with the encounter.

Gojo, like it or not, might need an emotional connection first. People that don’t arouse his feelings don’t really have a big impact so if he does hookups he is 100% going to forget about that partner.

His capricorn venus makes him kind of emotionally constipated. He needs an emotional connection, but he fails at expressing his own emotions. In fact this is very common with Pisces Moons, they live in a haze, they feel too many things at once until they don’t know what they feel. It’s better if his partner makes the first step. 

Normally a Cap Venus would like a mature, secure, calm and collected type of person. They are attracted to older partners. In this case I wouldn’t really say this is 100% correct. That’s because he has Scorpio Juno, Mars and Pisces Moon. Unless the capricorn partner has plenty of water in their personal planets it ain’t really gonna work. (Kinda see that with Geto) His Venus is mostly unaspected. Just two sextiles with Moon and Mars so that’s where we should look. Venus itself brings our attention to his Moon and Mars.

He has a trine between moon and mars so his emotional needs (moon) influence his sexual ones (mars). His scorpio mars conjunct scorpio pluto undoubtedly makes him prefer being the dominant partner. I don’t think that’s a surprise to literally anyone. Especially to all of you who read my last post lol. His scorpio juno tells me he likes passionate and deep people. Juno is the asteroid for marriage and commitment so his future spouse/lover should be a deep thinker.

Overall his ideal partner is simply someone that is a much better person than him (because he fucking SUCKSSS) So that would be someone that is spiritual, empathic, compassionate, caring. Someone that could make it safe for him to open up and express his own moon, his own emotional needs (that is struggling to SURVIVE). 

This is the better outcome. The worst outcome is him still being a egocentric bastard that will never move on from Geto’s betrayal, will never open up to other people and will always remain an emotionally constipated garbage that thinks no one has it worse than him. So that would mean a doormat partner will suit him well enough. 

[saoirseaaa]

i literally love the fight with vetto and the underwater temple eps (40-50) in general img it’s so cool number one it has my favourite eosidoe number 44 the pointlessly direct fireball and the wild lightning i love it so so so so sooo much I get to see baby Magna and baby luck awwwww and they’re literally besties for life they’re lowk like five and six bc luck is blond i think and Magna is useless and loud and can’t keep up with his friends with strong magic powers like five! they’re so so so adorable i love them so much also my pfp comes from that episode too and also their combo spell is so cool bc they’re literally omg img omg and Magna is so cute “damn it ur my best friend” and luck “you were the first friend I ever made” I love the anyway enough about my husbands for once

and the opening is literally my favourite guess who is back by kumi koda and they all look so cool i love that opening it’s by far my fave

but also ep 49 idk what it’s called but anyway the one where astas going up against vetto and the first theme song starts playing omg it’s so COOL “this one feeds on despair” and it’s literally just asta the stupidest and happiest guy you could ever meet and that cool fucking demon comes out his grimoire and is like his shadow and everything and they say the thing “the three leaves of a clover represent hope integrity and love the fourth brings luck and in the fifth resides the devil” asta you’re so so so cool omg and then he goes on his i won’t give up imma be the wizard king rant again an omg omggogigmgmgg it’s a stupid sounding title but you’re so cool asta

AND VANESSA AND FINRAL BABH VANESSA IS SO CUTE and baby finral too like the two most useless are actually fighting and finrals not being a coward for once . and lowk finral is like five cause his little brother is better than him and is the one their dad likes more. except five could literally not care less about ladies and women.

and then captainYAMIIIII comes and he gets a whole new spell from just worrying about his squad he’s literally their father that’s so cute and he uses his dimension slash to kill that ugly hairy geezer and then we get to see baby yami he’s so cute and then everyone is so excited to see him then they all fucking die (let themselves finally faint) bc they know they’re safe now and then they’re all so happy that he said they did a good job omg he’s so much better than that fucker hoarfrost honestly who do you think you are they’re CHILDREN CHILDREN I SAY and like bitch you’re blaming six’s disappearance and eventual death but they don’t know that yet on his best friend and then acting like twelve is being stupid and acting like a child she’s 13 THIR TEEN ugh i hate you yami solos yami would kill you in one go

anyway that’s why i think eps 40 to 50 are my favourites omg yayayayayyyy i also love episode 104 so what if it’s only bc luck and Magna are the main one that episode SO WHAT FIGHT ME

[heranubis]

LAST HOUSE IN THE BAYOU: Infernal Alex Keller mini-series ◇ chapter II. PURPLE LOOSESTRIFE ◇ img cred ◇

For the first in a very, very long time - you dream about the house again. You're small again and everything is hazy - your footsteps echo louder than they should when you walk down the hallway that seems to go on forever. You get the feeling you're being watched, but the eyes in the pictures along the walls only stare ahead. You swear one of them blinks - if only for a moment - but then all is still.

And then you hear the hooves. Soft thuds that're loud in their own right as they follow behind you - slow, thunderous, hunting. You are small and scared and whatever is behind you wants to hurt you; or so your mind screams. But louder than the voices screaming in your head is one you haven't heard since you were a child. The old woman. Her voice now is more... firm, angry.

"You shouldn't be here" she says, and you feel clawed hands resting on your shoulder. You are small ans scared and whatever is behind you is holding you. And you feel a long, thin tail as it wraps around your ankle. Demon is the only thing your mind can think - and you do what little you would have done. You cry.

There is nothing soft about these tears, they are loud and ugly and full of emotion. The clawed hand on your shoulder lets go, but leaves behind a warm sting. The old woman stands before you now, and her face is still blurry but you get the distinct impression she's smiling at you. "Welcome home, lil' one" she whispers fondly. And for a moment, just a single breath, the sting goes away.

- ◇ -

You sit up in bed, sweating and gasping and looking around with wild eyes. You know very well what that was. It was a warning. In the years of your family's abscence, something... dark has made it's den between these old wooden walls. Long since have you believed in spirits, especially those who still seem to haunt from childhood, but not once have you ever felt something so... malicious.

And for a moment, just a quick blink-of-the-eye, there's a figure standing in the doorway. The first thing you notice is how tall he is, and the second are his hooves. The tail that whips behind the figure almost angrily, how it curls and lashes and there's a sharp spade at the end. You can't see his eyes but you feel the anger he looks at you with. "You shouldn't be here" he says - your chest hurts, a deep burn that fades into a sting. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

The figure is gone - the doorway is empty and you can breathe again. You're somewhere between tears and terror, because you're nowhere near the old house. How far can this thing follow, how long will it torment to get its way. Just as everything seems to close in, you feel a familiar comfort settle over your shoulders. And a thought comes to you - the old bottle tree, how it seemed to laugh in joy when you first came back to the house.

An idea comes to you - one that soothes you enough to sleep again.

- ◇ -

The next morning, you have a bottle and twine clutched tightly in hand as you walk up the old pathway. It's a whiskey bottle - the only one that called out to you, the one that now feels right in your palm as you look up at the old, large tree. The limbs seem to bend down for you to reach, the breeze kissing your cheeks as you quickly tie half of the twine around the neck of the bottle and the other around the branch.

"I don't know your name" you say, almost hesitant. The bayou is silent as if every creature is lurking and waiting, outside observers to this unknown fate of yours. "I don't know who you are, but I put a bottle on the tree. For you." There's a brief sound, like something trampling down the stairs inside - something running to the door.

But you see nothing, the door doesn't open nor are there any shadows. There is only silence, and a foreboding feeling. You square your shoulders and put on a brave face, fists lightly cleanched as you walk up the stairs. "This is my home, my family's home - and I won't let you chase me out. I don't know what you are, or what you want. But if you want to hurt me, you can get the hell out."

And you'd swear to anyone who'll listen - that something curled around your leg and a voice hisses in your ear. "No" it says. "You shouldn't be here. And now you're mine."

- ◇ -

You continue working on the house as planned - dusting old furniture and deep cleaning the windows to let in more sunlight. You ignore the feeling of being watched, blindly shake your leg when you feel his tail try to curl around it. That's the most he touches, but he watches constantly.

There's been no need of a name for him, nor does he offer one up - perhaps it's better that way. There's power in a name, control over the soul - or what remains of one. So you call him demon, and he calls you 'mine'. His favorite way to bother you is clicking his hooves against the ground, though one sounds distinctly more metallic than the other. You never look at him long enough to figure out why.

He follows you to the motel, some nights. Stands at the end of your bed while you sleep, simply watches you. And other nights, he stands in the old wooden doorway and growls at you to not come back. You never listen - this was your home first, and you'll not be chased from it. His presence draws forward others who have long since tried to rest - and now many ghosts walk the hallways of the house in the bayou.

The demon is like an invasive weed, crawling into roots and trying to strangle out the others. But what he doesn't know is that you're a gardener - and you care deeply for the flowers that bloom in the cracks of the old wood.

[wedreamedlove]

Mo Yi in Love - Character Study

I just read Mo Yi's [SSR Brewing Thoughts] card and, not only am I an emotional mess, but I also hit an epiphany regarding understanding his character and now I have to write about this. I know I'm going to repeat this at the end, but understand that Mo Yi is just a man who wants his first love to be his last love and who has relatable fears over failure, haha.

SPOILERS go up to chapter 3 of Mo Yi's personal route, [SSR Brewing Thoughts], [SR Fake Tears], [SSR Dangerous Invitation], and reveal Mo Yi's family background. In addition, while the lines are in order, I chose to remove some descriptions to keep things shorter.

First, I want to talk about Mo Yi's view towards love.

It's really positive, which is ironic given his background and what he grew up around. However, he's always been a rational person and the object or feeling itself has no crime, it's what people choose to do with it that matters.

[Personal Route Ch.1]

MY: True love brings light and hope to life and makes a person better and better.

MY: At any time, you could meet with that person who would make you a better person, but you may not be aware of it at the time.

[Personal Route Ch.3]

MY: Alright, quiet... What everyone here has said is all "love".

MY: Love itself is a concept that cannot be clearly defined because, for every person, their feelings and preferences are different.

MY: So, this student here, I apologize sincerely but I may not be able to give you an accurate answer.

Student: Professor, what do you feel is love then?

MY: Me...?

Mo Yi faintly smiled.

His eyes passed through the sea of people and met mine.

MY: To me, it is a unique miracle.

MY: She makes me unable to control wanting to investigate, to touch, and to figure out everything.

MY: There are even times where, for a short moment, I am unable to distinguish the divide between reason and emotion.

MY: In this world, there are too many people who are fair on the outside but foul on the inside, however there will always be that one person...

MY: She will make you become better, make you believe everything is wonderful, make you start to look forward... to the future.

Look, he's an utter romantic! But, like I mentioned above, he's also a rational person and he needs to make sure that this love is The One for him.

Second, what's important to mention here is his view on Love At First Sight because that's what he admits to himself that he has for his heroine.

However, he has a huge scar about Love At First Sight because of the tragedy that was his parents. His father, a nobleman, and his mother, a foreign woman from a background of scholars, fell in love with each other at first sight. However, due to his father's poor handling of the church in his country, which basically denied their relationship unless Mo Yi's mother converted to their religion, Mo Yi's mother left his father and his father lost the love of his life and has been regretting it to this day.

So, what does he think about Love At First Sight?

[Personal Route Ch.2]

MY: ...Personally, I believe in "love at first sight".

Student: Really? I thought someone rational and calm like you wouldn't believe in this sort of illusion.

MY: "Love at first sight" has uncertain factors, but that doesn't mean its existence itself is a mistake.

MY: Furthermore, isn't it human nature to harbor hope for this wonderful and sincere emotion? I am no exception.

MY: Only...

Mo Yi paused slightly and, when he opened his mouth again, there seemed to be some unclear emotion in his tone.

MY: When "love at first sight" arrives, I am more inclined to make a particular judgment first rather than walk eagerly towards love.

MY: Those wonderful things that are unforgettable for people, are they for real or are they "ephemeral"? This is more important, is it not?

Student: Oh, can this sort of thing be tested? Professor, can you teach me?

MY: It's not a peculiar method, you just need to make observations.

Student: Observations?

MY: Correct, observe the other party's attitude and thoughts when facing matters, especially the things that really threaten their lives or safety.

MY: To a certain extent, a person's behavior can reflect their personality.

As a top psychiatrist, Mo Yi is extremely honest to himself with his own emotions and thoughts. Heck, that's why he always records voiced diary logs because he uses those to examine his own mental state. So, this determination on whether or not the target of his Love At First Sight is The One means a lot to him, because he will throw himself fully into this love.

One huge thing about Mo Yi is that he chases perfection and has an aversion to imperfect things. This stems from his deathly fear of failure because he doesn't believe there is a "next time" after failure. Once something fails, that's the end. This is due to his parents again and how, while it takes time to nurture emotions, it only takes an instant to lose emotions or trust.

Third, because of the above, it is incredibly important for Mo Yi minimize as much "risks" as possible.

The translations below are going to be paired together for consistency, but they will be addressing two points at the same time. One, that Mo Yi may exaggerate the emotions he reveals, but they are genuine. Two, that he is showing his "imperfect" and "ugly" sides to his heroine in controlled settings because he doesn't want her to hate him.

(On a minor note, I think it should be kept in mind that he's also observing her through all of this to determine whether or not she's The One, but honestly she just keeps surprising him throughout the game and making him fall harder and harder for her).

[SR Fake Tears]

In those gold eyes of his, the usual gentle smile was replaced by another emotion.

MC: Dr. M-Mo...?

That expression... was not sadness and was not relief, but...

A kind of inevitable self-confidence, the satisfaction of seeing through everything, or... an unfathomable control.

That glance... was it my misconception?

In the flickering light, that expression was gone in a flash. I was incapable of determining it, but instinctively a hint of a chill rose from the bottom of my heart...

MY: Did I scare you?

MY: I just... don't want to hide myself in front of you. I just want to be honest about my weakness in front of you alone.

MY: You won't hate me, right?

Before I could answer, he smiled softly.

MY: Let me indulge myself this once, alright?

MY: Just for this short while...

[SR Fake Tears]

Mo Yi sat at his desk and turned on his digital voice recorder.

The time on the recorder slowly moved forward, but Mo Yi only watched that changing number without saying a word.

After a long time, a soft sigh came from the quiet room.

MY: I shouldn't have done that...

MY: Just for a moment of warmth, I deliberately showed her that appearance, even exaggerating my sadness and weakness...

MY: I even fully enjoyed indulging myself... I sought even more from her, hoping she would... feel even more sorry for me.

MY: But, at that time, I really didn't want to use reason to control my emotions.

MY: This is the first time I've been so... contradictory, chaotic...

His voice became lighter and lighter.

MY: The yearning I have for her... is already... an addiction I cannot give up...

[SSR Brewing Thoughts]

MY: Saying you wouldn't be able to sleep tonight was only an excuse, wasn't it? You were afraid I would have a sleepless night because I would think about past matters.

MC: Dr. Mo, you—

MY: I'm really happy.

MY: I won't be sad because of those things, but I truly am really happy.

His fingertips gently caressed my wrist.

MY: A child who has tasted candy would have a hard time enduring the loss. Can I be insatiable and rely on you more?

MY: Or is it that people who are too strong, who don't feel sad, have no way of receiving concern?

MY: Are you... going to leave and ignore me?

There was a hint of pretend grievance in his voice, and also a deep belief and certainty that I couldn't refuse him.

MC: (Too unfair! There's no way to refuse...)

Before I could answer, Mo Yi held my wrist and pulled me even closer to him.

MY: Just stay here, right with me.

Some context here is that he was acting "drunk" in the translation above. Below was the reveal that he wasn't actually drunk.

[SSR Brewing Thoughts]

The bud of feelings needed to be raised with the utmost care, but how could he let it grow strong in an unpredictable environment?

Of course he had to control it himself rather than allowing it to happen naturally.

Just like adjusting the sun and rain when a grapevine was growing, and just like controlling every timing of winemaking.

Furthermore, if someone wanted a grape seedling, which was imperfect to begin with, to produce the desired fruit, to brew the perfect wine, then it needed even more precise control.

Otherwise... just like wine, a small error might lead to serious consequences.

As you can see, the god complex and obsession over control is strong here. He cannot and does not believe to leaving things to random nature. He's not willing to lose this love and will do anything to give him and his heroine a happy ending (unlike his parents).

That's not to say that he HAS to control everything though. He actually doesn't care about the process (nature vs. nurture) so long as the results are good. But, like I mentioned above, he is certainly a master of reducing "risks".

However, and this was the whole point of [SSR Brewing Thoughts], Mo Yi's heroine teaches him that there is a "next time" after failure. She teaches him that, sometimes, the journey along the way is more important than the conclusion and that what's most important is whether or not the person he loves is beside him.

What is extremely touching is how matter-of-factly she tells him that they can just try again if they fail at something. He does not need to chase perfection when he is around her and a lot of his dates are seeing him in various states of failure. Practicing failure is such a relatable thing for us all to learn in life.

Fourth, I am going to repeat myself a little here after these translations but, in my opinion, Mo Yi carries a childlike honesty and purity regarding his emotions. The thing that makes him so charming is that while he plays these manipulative tricks, he is also extremely blunt about his own emotions. He expresses his jealousy, his possessiveness, his blunders, etc. He wants her to be the only one who can see these different sides of him and perceive his moods when he normally keeps everyone else at a polite distance. The ONLY disguise he wears is a flimsy one that hides what, in his eyes, are the "ugliest" sides of himself because he doesn't want his heroine to hate him; but he doesn't hide the fact that he has these ugly sides at all.

Fifth, basically, go ahead and fall in love with Mo Yi! He looks dangerous and he sort of is (extremely grey morality, does not adhere to the Hippocratic Oath, literally amassed power to have the choice to do what he wants, and uses his own scale of judgment, but that's another essay for another time) but he is never dangerous to you and is just as invested in this love as you are.

I suppose one thing you do have to watch out for is his arrogant god complex and believing he knows what's best LOL.

[Personal Route Ch.3]

MY: Because the mother eagle knows that, only after experiencing the pain and torment of a broken wing, the young eagle will truly have the ability to soar in the sky.

MY: Although this is just a metaphor that is somewhat different from reality, when it comes to her...

MY: This is the path she chose and, not only will I let her walk on it, but I will also let her become the most dazzling presence on this road.

MY: But, Constable Yan, you should know better than me what sort of end most people who pursue light in the chaos have.

MY: So, to recognize the darkness in front of her and face it directly is something she must learn.

MY: If she was always huddled under the wings of others, then her road would end here.

YW: But aren't you afraid of something happening by chance?

MY: "Like an eagle that stirs up its nest, that flutters over its young, spreading out its wings, catching them, bearing them on its pinions."

MY: Since I chose to do this I naturally have enough certainty. Besides... I am here, so who could hurt her?

However, this is not a one-way street and the same goes for the heroine and what she can do to him. In fact, I am going to end this essay with one of my favorite quotes ever in this game (even still to this day), because it honestly shows how Mo Yi fell in love with the dazzling justice the heroine upholds and how he will accept anything of her.

One thing he says in a beta PV, the prologue of the game, and [SSR Border of Light and Darkness] is that he hopes she can stick with the choice she makes, even if it runs counter to the world and everyone is against her.

So, anyway, the context of the quote below is important because [SSR Dangerous Invitation] is essentially a microcosm of their relationship. They roleplay a locked-room mystery and, in the end, the heroine chooses to throw Mo Yi (her lover in the game) into jail because he's a murderer (even though he did it for her). She chooses the truth and her version of justice over them living together in a lie (by pushing the blame to someone else). Before the lover is executed, he writes one last love letter and this is what Mo Yi reads out to his heroine at the end of the date.

[SSR Dangerous Invitation]

MY: Perhaps what he was infatuated with was this kind of you.

MC: !!!

Hearing his words, I looked up in astonishment.

Those gold eyes suddenly became profound and intense. I couldn't understand his emotions, only feeling that I was about to fall into his eyes.

The noisy wind and the voices of people on the long street gradually faded away at his words.

Only my heartbeat remained in my ears and the last love letter the duke wrote to the viscountess before the gallows that he read out slowly.

MY: "I will always open wide my arms and accept all your beauty and cruelty."

MY: "I hope that you will, with this heart, embrace the one and only truth you pursue."

Sorry, I can't resist finishing off by saying some more sappy words but, again, Mo Yi is just a simple man who wishes his first love to be his last love and he's so invested in this love. You are the once-in-a-lifetime stirring of his heart.

[bemused-writer]

VNC Chapter 48 Analysis

The numbering system of the chapters continues to grow more confusing as it continues to be off by one (Web sites called the last one 48 on links but 47 on the chapter page), but we're just going to continue to call this chapter 48 instead of chapter 49 and hope for the best. Also, this chapter has been remarkably difficult to find for purchase. Why would YenPress hide it from me like this? D8

Anyway, none of that is the actual meta, so let's move on to that. As a general warning, the chapter itself dealt with some difficult subject matter, namely torture, so bear in mind that will be discussed in the meta.

We left off with Misha being left in Vanitas's care and this chapter begins with Vanitas taking that charge seriously, which was both surprising and completely predictable. As Noé once pointed out, Vanitas is made up of contradictions. We see that Vanitas is at least a little bit invested in Misha right away when he asks, "...You're sure it's okay if they cut it?"

He's referring to Misha's hair. Now, this is interesting for a few reasons. The first is that it demonstrates Vanitas wants to make sure Misha is as comfortable as he can be given the circumstances, but I also find it interesting because Vanitas himself has long hair. Only, he has kind of weird, chopped long hair.

Now, he has the same hairstyle in the flashbacks that he does in the present. At first I thought this was strange. How could he maintain such an elaborate hairstyle when he was imprisoned with Moreau? Did Mochizuki simply not want to come up with another hairstyle? But no, I don't think this is what happened. I think those scientists did try to cut Vanitas's hair when he was first brought to Moreau, he resisted, and the whole attempt resulted in his current 'do.

The fact that his hair is the same in the present means he's purposefully keeping it this way. Add this to the fact that he dresses like Vanitas of the Blue Moon, and I think Vanitas is manifesting all his traumas on his own person, possibly so he won't forget and so he won't give up on his revenge.

Moving on from that, it's unclear how long Vanitas had been with Moreau when Misha came along, but I think it's fair to say at least a few months? Maybe longer? Long enough that he knows how to behave around Moreau and can fill Misha in on how things are.

Vanitas explains to Misha he doesn't get to keep his old name, he's a number now. It's harsh, but it's another way of trying to prepare Misha for how awful things are going to be. An impossible task to be sure, but what else can he do?

We cut immediately to Misha being experimented on and tortured. He's in pain and also confused. He says, "Wasn't all the pain supposed to be over?" Roland's description of a happier place must seem like a massive lie right about now, but he had no way of knowing Misha would never get a chance at that fate.

The experiments themselves seem nonsensical. We see he's being injected with something in his arm, but we also see him strapped to a gurney with a metal object about his eyes. It looks like what they're doing is feeding the liquid from the vials through tubes into his eyes. I... don't see how this would be more effective than the previous syringes to be completely honest. My best guess is that since a vampire's power is centered in their eyes and Moreau is obsessed with vampires, he figured injecting this liquid directly into a human's eyes would have stronger results. Misha is also forced to drink something. Perhaps water, perhaps something else. Impossible to say.

The pain of it all reminds Misha of his mother beating him, which really just goes to show what a lousy mother she was. :/ He calls out for Vanitas to help him and we can see that Vanitas is bothered by what's happening. But what I did not expect was for Vanitas to turn around and offer to take Misha's place.

This is hands down the most selfless act we've ever seen from Vanitas. Willingly putting himself in danger? With the full knowledge he'll be tortured? That's incredible self-sacrifice. The only reason he did this is because he cares about Misha; he doesn't want to see someone suffer.

And yet, while I didn't expect this turn, it actually fits in perfectly from what we already know about Vanitas, even if he's gone to a lot of lengths to keep it obscured. Let's take a look at some previous panels:

This is one of our earliest examples. Vanitas was furious when Noé put himself in harm's way to protect him. He doesn't want others suffering because of him. But it's not just that.

That first scene is where Vanitas promises Jeanne he'll kill her if she ever loses control and hurts Luca. In other words, if she's no longer "Jeanne" he's taking responsibility for her failure to protect Luca. The next scene he promises to save Chloé, but what he actually says is that he'll accept all of Jeanne's ugly emotions for her.

In other words, Vanitas doesn't like it when other people suffer, especially if they're protecting him, but he readily takes on that very role himself. He goes out of his way to shield people even if he doesn't want them doing the same, and he readily accepts all the harsh, painful realities for someone so that they don't have to deal with it. In other words, what he's doing for Jeanne is similar to what he did for Misha, just on an emotional rather than physical level. But we also know he failed to keep some kind of promise to Misha and he remembered this when he promised to kill Jeanne. Perhaps he meant to keep Misha as "Misha," but he wasn't able to do so and he wasn't able to kill that which took his place.

All of this puts a slightly different spin on the Vanitas/Jeanne relationship. While there's definitely a selfish, immoral element there, this has also become Vanitas's attempt at doing something good, no matter how questionably he's going about it. Except, it was easier for him to do so when she didn't like him because not only does he not want people to risk themselves for him, he also doesn't want them to see him as worthy of doing so. Basically, as Roland said, he hates himself a lot more than we realized.

Now, what I want to know is whether Vanitas ever had siblings. Vanitas saw Misha suffering, but it was when he called out "Brother!" that he finally stepped in. Did it remind him of a sibling he actually had or was it just that he felt the weight of another person's life in the balance and he couldn't bear to do nothing?

This is the only cute scene of the chapter and we see that once again Vanitas doesn't push Misha away. He could have been angry with him for putting him in that predicament (not a rational feeling, but not one that would have been surprising given the circumstances), but instead he says nothing and let's him do as he wishes. This is also when No. 70 is brought up. I think the only thing we can safely say about No. 70 at this point is that he was a test subject involved in some other experiment (as Vanitas says) and that he is probably around Vanitas's age judging by what little we can make out of him.

Personally, I don't think this is a character we already know or, if it is, not well. Could be one of the chasseurs, but which one? This person was supposedly mute, but there haven't been any characters like that. So, a mystery for now. I am definitely curious, though. Vanitas and Misha were being turned into kin of the blue moon. Was No. 70 being turned into a proper vampire? That is Moreau's dream after all. But, for now, we simply don't have enough information to say anything at all.

And speaking of Moreau, he said he acquired the Books of Vanitas through "a certain channel." What does that mean? It sounds like it's probably a person, a contact, and one he's known for a while. Honestly, this one section raises so many questions. How would Vanitas lose her own books? It just seems absurd.

Anyway, Moreau goes on to explain the books are "analytical engines," which basically means they're machines, powered by a unique kind of astermite. Vanitas once told Noé he could manipulate the chasseurs' machines in the catacombs because they were also powered by astermite.

I think all of this is incredibly important. Just what is the world formula? Because whatever it is, it can be manipulated just the same way as astermite can, apparently. And who is connected to the world formula? Vampires. What can be tampered with by the books? Vampires' names. Where am I going with this? I'm not entirely sure. 8D But I've been thinking about this for a while. Astermite is some panacea stone that has removed pollution and done wonderful things. But that just sounds too good to be true. I really think there's something nefarious about astermite, and I think it's connected to vampires--and possibly the chasseurs--somehow.

I wrote a short fic once where astermite was made out of vampires' names. In other words, vampire souls. I'm still waiting to see what this stuff is actually made out of, but I just can't shake that theory, baseless though it is.

Still, only the blue moon's kin can open the Book of Vanitas and it uses a "different kind of astermite." Blue moon vampires are also different from red moon vampires. I wonder if the books have just a little bit of Vanitas of the Blue Moon's own essence. Hmmm...

Also, it turns out that Vanitas of the Blue Moon, and presumably all blue moon vampires, have blue blood. This means if you're a blue moon vampire, there really isn't a thing you can do to hide it, is there? 8D Your eyes are super blue, your blood is super blue. They probably smell differently, too. And it turns out Vanitas and Misha were injected with her blood to make them honorary kin.

Again, so many questions here. We're definitely dealing more with alchemy than straightforward science at this point, so I have to wonder: How changed are Vanitas and Misha's DNA? Do they even qualify as human? I mean, evidently their blood isn't blue, but Noé and Jeanne both agree that Vanitas smells good. How much of that is because of him as a person and how much is because of the blue moon blood running through his veins?

It seems most humans can't handle Vanitas of the Blue Moon's blood because they went mad instantly. But not these two.

Vanitas is understandably furious at what's been done to him. Having said that, this is also around the time period he hated vampires completely. I wonder how much of that anger is because he's been experimented on against his will and how much of it is because he was injected with a vampire's blood specifically.

Whichever it is, there's a certain level of irony that he's then saved by Vanitas herself. She comes in, blows up some stuff, and gets her books back.

Let's think about this for a moment. Somehow, Moreau not only had her books, he also had her blood. She does not look like a prisoner though, does she?

No, if anything, she definitely looks like the person in control of the room somehow, so I really have to wonder how they got these things from her. She evidently came to pick up her books, but that's not it.

I could be reading too much into it, but that, to me, doesn't sound like someone who's there to stop an evil experiment or save people. Or at least, that's not the only reason she's there. "That should be enough of a rampage to do the trick." What is she trying to accomplish? She already has the books!

Well, I suppose future chapters will give us an idea.

Misha convinces her to take them with her. Vanitas is shocked that the offer is extended to him as well. He was definitely prepared to simply stay, but then he thought of the chasseurs, the pain they inflicted on him, and I think he decided he'd rather take his chances with the vampire. He may hate vampires at this point, but humans haven't proven themselves to him either.

What I find interesting though is how similar this scene is to when Noé said "Not yet" in the catacombs.

They each offered him hope when he least expected it and showed him a path he never would have tried himself. It's also interesting that they also share some basic visual similarities. They both have darker skin and silver hair and they're vampires. Both of these scenarios happened in the catacombs as well. At a minimum, we can say they each led him to an important change in his life. Also, Vanitas of the Blue Moon had a definite "Noé" vibe in this one panel:

There's a certain awkwardness here that makes me think of him. The obvious difference being that Noé wouldn't let suffering children be an afterthought. Maybe this is more of a Teacher resemblance. Hard to say...

And so, Vanitas joined Vanitas of the Blue Moon! What a chapter. Dr. Moreau continues to be the worst, doesn't he? He's definitely lacking depth compared to the other villains wandering about. XD Very curious when Vanitas gets to kill him. And also whether Moreau's research will be successful. I think the series is going to get a lot darker if it is.

One thing I noticed is that Misha never lost his arm during these experiments, so that definitely happened later. My personal guess is that he's using the book a lot more than Vanitas and is being rewritten at a faster rate. If so, being rewritten could mean... disappearing from reality? Guess we'll find out. Ahh, I really want the next chapter... I'm looking forward to it!

[kindness-bliss]

New Beginnings

Timothy Thatcher x OC

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: None for now (but will make sure tag triggers if presented)

It was just another day, another day of pointless photoshoots for Maya. Photoshoots that meant nothing to her but having to look pretty and pose in front a camera for hours. To her it all just meant a job that paid her bills and kept her from having to rely on her parents. A job that paid for her college, got her an apartment in sunny Florida and got her to leave that past life.

“These are gonna look great for the campaign, your face truly pops out in them” Jasmine her photographer smiled as she shot “you’re living every girls absolute dream”. Maya chuckled “well thank you, I try hard to look and feel the best. After leaving Europe, I finally am starting to feel like myself”. Europe, a place that held the most beautiful memories for her yet caused her years of pain and self doubt. Florida represented home for her, a sense of comfort she hadn’t felt in years. She sat and fixed her hair as she looked in the vanity at herself, in no way was she vain but she knew she was beautiful. Her long brown hair that cascaded over her shoulders, her lips that were plump and proportionate, her button nose, the cheek bones girls at her agency fawned over. To put in simple terms to everyone around her called her perfect.

“Okay this has to be the last one because I promised my friends I’d meet them for dinner and drinks, I’ve been here 2 whole months and have yet to see them” Maya chuckled as she came out in her dress “we’ve got lots and lots of catching up to do”. God it had been so long since she had seen them, work never let her have a social life or even live life actually. The second she turned 17 and signed her contract she knew it meant the end of things being her choice, but the money. The money she earned, oh man that’s what made it all worth it. By 20 she owned an apartment and was able to buy her own car, something she never even thought could happen. “We got it, we got the shot for the campaign” Jasmine grinned as she showed her the camera “IMG is gonna be so happy, I think you’re getting that cover. No way they’re gonna deny this one”. Maya blushed as she felt that rush go through her veins, it never felt real to see herself on magazines or billboards. To her it was always a shock, it was a shock and feeling of pride seeing herself when she shopped and ran errands. It never felt real, nor would it ever. “Oh shit, it’s 7 I gotta go before I’m late ! Thanks again Jas you’re an angel !” She smiled as she left in her dress and heels to the restaurant and sat and chatted with her friends chatting away. “Him ?” She chuckled as looked towards the bar “oh god no, no way in hell unless I’m getting paid”. It’s 2021, humid florida weather and the man had on dickies.....dickies. She could see from afar he had on a plain black shirt and some form of ripped and faded vans. “You get him to be yours and the vacation house my parents gave me is all yours for the entire summer” her friend Veronica grinned “deal ?”. Maya looked at her and then at the man and bit her lip as she looked ahead, offering her hand “deal, he’ll be mine. I’ll make absolute sure of it”. She took a drink and headed over as she fixed her hair and dress and sat next to him and smiled softly “Hi, oh I love that book. Read it in college for my political science class”.

“And when was that ? Last month” Tim retorted as he didn’t bother to lift his head. “Excuse me ?” Maya scoffed “is this how you treat every girl who talks to you or am I just the exception ?”. Tim chuckled as she closed his book and turned his stool around “listen, I’ve seen your kind around okay. Pretty girls who come to bars and want guys to fawn over them, it’s not me sweetheart”. He looked her over discreetly and gulped, he’d dated his fair share of women but never had he seen one like her. Never. “First of all I graduated 3 years ago and I actually have a masters, and second of all I read The Socialist Manifesto during my 2nd year. I majored in Politcal Science and minored in Psychology” she said as she sat down next to him. “You want an applause ? Balloons ? A celebration ?” He said back. Jesus the attitude, the attitude of this man, the audacity. She looked at him trying to hide her dismayed expression as she studied him over, crooked nose and some wrinkles that showed age but overall handsome. He had soft brown hair, nice deep brown eyes and a dimple on one cheek. Perhaps the biggest thing she noticed was the chipped teeth, sure maybe a bit ugly but it definitely showed character. But even then his huge attitude was a turn off for her, no one had ever been so rude to her before. “Have a nice night...whatever your name is” Maya muttered as she got up from her chair and left back to her friends table

“Veronica Rose you owe me money, no way in hell that.....thing is coming by me” she shook her head as she took a shot to forget about the denial. “Jesus that bad huh ? I thought someone looking like him would be easy” Veronica laughed. “Yeah well no, I felt talked down to and like an absolute dumb ass. I’m going home” Maya sighed as she grabbed her purse and walked away bumping into a body as she felt herself get soaked “watch it idiot !”. Tim widened his eyes as he turned a bright shade of red “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there”. “Oh please, you’re like 6 feet, you really didn’t see me ? Is this some kind of sick joke I need to laugh at ? Open those big bug eyes you’ve got and control your lanky legs next time” she spat out as she left the bar furious.

“Hey ! Wait wait !” Tim walked after her “I’m sorry, I-I didn’t do that on purpose just please stop walking !”. Maya stopped and turned around “what ? What do you want ?” She snapped “what is it ?”. Tim gulped as he took in her face against the lighting of the street lights, he had never seen someone so beautiful, even drenched in beer. “Here” he said quickly as he took his hoodie out of his backpack and offered it “i-it’s a bit cold and I don’t think you wanna be wearing that dress out”. Maya gave him a look wanting to say no but taking it as she noticed her skin begin to get goosebumps from the chilly winds. “Thanks” she said softly as she put it on “I’m Maya” she offered her hand to him

“Tim, I’m Tim” he took her hand into his rough calloused one and gently shook it “Listen I’m sorry for how I treated you, I just-it wasn’t on you. I acted like such an asshole towards you” he apologized. Damn he could be such an asshole sometimes and it was always when he wasn’t trying to be. Time after time he was told to stop being the way he was, to not be uptight butt here he was at 1 am in the middle of a street apologizing to some girl he had just met for being an asshole. Not a typical night for Timothy Thatcher, the one time he decided to grab a beer after training this happens. The one time he wasn’t at his apartment in bed by 9 pm he insults a girl he didn’t even know and now there she stood 1 foot away from him wearing his favorite hoodie and smelling like beer. Just his own damn luck.

[todorokiscute]

Post Notes tutorial

Difficulty: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ You must know something about css alone, css pseudo elements and how to use svg icons, as well as positioning with absolute position.

This tutorial was requested via askbox! Is a very simple tutorial and it’ll look like this (not the pink background tho, that’s my post background):

Search for {/block:Posts} on your customize page (ctrl+f) and it should have a closing div right at the top </div> . This should be your closing post box selector. If not, try to find your post box selector and just copy it.

Before {/block:Posts} paste the following code:

{block:PostNotes} <!-- change with your post selector name--> <div class="YOUR POST SELECTOR notes-box">  {block:Date} {block:permalinkPage} {block:NoteCount} <!-- notes title --> <h1> {NoteCountWithLabel} </h1> {/block:NoteCount} {/block:permalinkPage}  {/block:Date} <!-- this is the icon --> {PostNotes-64} </div> {/block:PostNotes}

Before we keep on, let me explain this part first:

<!-- change with your post selector name--> <div class="YOUR POST SELECTOR notes-box">

In CSS we can give multiple selector names to a div without having the trouble to keep wrapping stuff inside the parent selector. In our case, we need to add our post box selector so our notes box will be styled just as a post box, and we also need a second selector to style only the notes stuff. Let’s say our post box selector is called .post-box, then that line of code should look like this:

<!-- change with your post selector name--> <div class="post-box notes-box">

  So if you have backgrounds, borders or box shadows applied to your post boxes, everything will automatically apply to the notes-box as well! Don’t forget the space between the two selector names (post-box SPACE notes-box). To find your post box selector, just look to {block:Posts} and see what’s coming after that (or before in some cases).

Let’s move on to the styles then. The fun Part!.  This is to style the title:

.notes-box h1{ text-align:left; }

This is to get rid of the ugly numbers and white spacing at the left:

.notes-box ol{ margin:0; padding:0; list-style-type:none; }

Add styles like font families or sizes, text aligns or colors to  this selector:

.notes-box{ font-size:.8rem; }

To make the icons go right after the name and align them to the center baseline, you can use floats (if you’re comfortable) or flexbox:

.notes-box li{ display:flex; flex-wrap:wrap; align-items:center; gap:.4rem; margin:.5rem 0; position: relative; }

gap:.4rem makes a nice space between the icon and the name. margin, do the trick between each group (top and bottom). Position relative here is just in case  if you want to add icons. If you wont, you can delete this part.

To style the icons itselves, add css styles to this:

.notes-box img {  width: 32px !important;  height: 32px !important;  border-radius: 100%;  object-fit: cover;  max-width: initial; }

This is an example, you can take off the radius if you don’t want them as circles, or change the width and height as well.

optional:

If you don’t necessarily want to show icons to the images like this

then you’re done and just skip the rest of this tutorial!

To add the like or reblogged icon to the images, you must add this:

li.note.like::after, li.note.reblog::after {    content: '';    background-image: url(LINK TO THE LIKE ICON);    position: absolute;    --size: 14px;    width: var(--size);    height: var(--size);    background-size: cover;    box-sizing: border-box;    bottom: 0; /* positining of the icon */    left: 20px; } li.note.reblog::after {    background-image: url(LINK TO THE REBLOGGED ICON); }

you can use png or svg. Use the left: 20px to positioning the icon for both of them. since bottom is equals to 0, it’ll make sure the icons always stay at the bottom. --size:14px changes the values for both width and height to make a perfect square. In the first half of the code, notice that I put the pseudo elements for both icons and then used specificity to overwrite the link to the second one. 

Css is amazing guys. Thanks for the request and feel free to send any question. Let me know if there’s something hard to understand, or if there is something you want to add and I didn’t covered in this brief tutorial!

bye.

PART 2 - how to add a user added your gif to a post and user replied to your post icon: Request by anonymous person!

Fist thing is to find your icons and its links. In the tutorial, I’ve linked flaticon, because it’s easy to use, but I didn’t find any icons that are similar to tumblr’s so I made my own (let me know if you want a tutorial on how to make and host your own svg icons --they’re better than png, I promise)

So we need to edit our current css code to add the styling to the icons selectors. The last code of the tutorial is the how to apply the svg part:

li.note.like::after, li.note.reblog::after {   content: '';   background-image: url(LINK TO THE LIKE ICON); (.....) ** rest of the code goes after this**/

We’re going to add the selectors altogether with the like and reblog, so we can reuse the css basics content of pseudo elements without overwriting our theme (pretty cool, isnt it? :^))

Then your code will look like this:

li.note.like::after, li.note.reblog::after, li.note.post_attribution::after, li.note.reply::after { li.note.reply::after {   content: '';   background-image: url(LINK TO THE LIKE ICON); (.....) ** rest of the code goes after this**/

Don’t forget to check the commas after each selector. Now’s the icons part. Since we used the basics just to positon the icon to not write a lot of coding, you can overwrite the pen and bubble icon by adding the specification after:

li.note.post_attribution::after {    background-image: url(YOUR PEN ICON); } li.note.reply::after {    background-image: url(YOUR BUBBLE ICON); }

But don’t forget to add this code AFTER the pseudo element coding, or else the specificity of the css won’t work.

Also, you can apply some css to the actual reply of the person who commented on your post (like the text in blue I have on my theme). This is the code:

li.note span.answer_content {}

Also! You can find the selectors tumblr uses by using your inspect tool (ctrl+shift+i) and hovering the element you want to see the source:

in this case, hovering the ‘added this gif to a post’ text showed me the span.action selector. So if I wanted to change the background or text color, I just need to add span.action{ code} to my css field! Simple!!!!

I really hope this helped you and let me know if you couldn’t understand something, I’ll gladly try to help!!!

[skia-oura]

Closing Costs

A/N: Just a fun lil fic about the Ben Trio going house hunting :)

ao3

___________________________________________________

CORDALINE GABLES

Senior Sales Associate

hello@cordgab.org

Phone  HomeStar Inc. Messaging

 Originally from Fairfax, Old Jersey, Cordaline Gables made her home in Norfolk over a decade ago, and has worked in real estate for nineteen years. She double-majored in Business and Transcendence-Age Architecture at the prestigious University of San Antonio. Her expertise is in finding gems hidden in the crooks and corners of suburban Norfolk, but she is additionally skilled at scouting lovely apartments and homes further away from the city center. When she isn’t matching clients to their dream homes, Cordelia enjoys playing recreational badminton with her partner and taking long walks together with their beloved dog, Sniffles. Please place your trust in Cordelia!

Audio Version             Non-English Versions             Font Adjustment

 -

 New Automated Message: New Customer Application Form

NAME: Torako Lam

PARTNER: Yes [2] ; NAME: Bentley Farkas ; NAME: Tyrone Pines

CHILDREN: No

AGE: 27 ; DOB: June 17 3016

PHONE  EMAIL

PRICE RANGE: Up to $350,000  flexible inflexible

LOCATION: Within [75]km from [Niklakka Labs]

SIZE: 450—600 m2

BD: [3+]        

BTH: [1.5+]    

K: [Yes]          

LR: [No]

GRG: [No]

BY/GDN: [Yes]          

à SIZE: 125—175 m2

ADDITIONAL REQUESTS HERE:

--No dimensional subspaces

--Away from magically-charged hotspots

--Customizable Security Systems

--Garden Shed on premises, please

--Large Windows a Plus

Thank you for accommodating us! We look forward to hearing back about the properties under your purview and making our viewing appointments!

 -

 To: tora@lam.com

From: hello@cordgab.org

SUBJECT: Hello from Homestar Realtors!!

RECEIVED: July 19th, 3042

 Dear Torako Lam,

           It’s a pleasure to make your virtual acquaintance! My name is Cordelia Gables, and I’m your HomeStar Inc. appointed estate agent. I look forward to working with you and fulfilling your needs in this new chapter of your life. I have attached a list of five properties that I think may fit your needs. Please view them with your partners and let me know if there are any that don’t fit your specifications so that we may get them out of the way before viewing the homes in person. I await your reply at your earliest convenience!

 Sincerely,

Cordelia Gables

HomeStar Inc. Realtors

 House Profile 1/5:

1345 16th Avenue

Norfolk, VA 68C 22980

4 Beds  | 2 Bath  |  529 m2  | $298,000

[49 img]

 A lovely four-bedroom family home, this property includes high-quality faux-wood flooring, recently renovated wallboard, and a lovely spiral staircase straight out of a 2500’s property magazine. The kitchen boasts a brand-new stove and oven set as well as a state of the art StayFridge™ made from the finest recycled materials from North Africa. The front garden is already blooming with the loveliest daphnes, and the entire property is fenced in by rosebushes. The backyard is perfect for the smallest feet, whether those be of children or beloved pets. Don’t forget the stylish and practical EverExpanding Cabinetry installed in every part of the house—you will never run out of storage space! Each bathroom boasts a shower-tub combo, and the upper floor bathroom comes with gorgeous hand-tiled floors.

House Profile 2/5:

195 St. Phillip’s Crtwy.

Norfolk, VA 68C 22980

3 Beds  | 3 Bath  |  501 m2  |  $311,000

[12 img]

 This three-bedroom, three-story property sits in the center of the city, a mere five-minute’s walk from two elementary schools and ten minutes from the nearest junior high school. While the original structure dates back all the way to 2258, its most recent renovation was completed less than five years ago in 3039. You are certain to love the open kitchen-dining-living room setup that comprises the bottom floor, leaving the remaining three beds and two baths on the upper two floors. Each bedroom has a Magical View Window, with settings that include worldwide destinations as well as the default ‘Real’ setting for those who prefer to stay close to home. Comes with a Laundry Room in an AltBasement. Gardening space and shed included.

 House Profile 3/5:

98 Summer Estates 29¾ th St.

Norfolk, VA 68C 22981

5 Beds  | 2.5 Bath  |  598 m2  | $253,000

[28 img]

             Don’t let this house’s exterior fool you! This customizable and generous home is sure to make you feel a sense of belonging inside with its cozy ethically-sourced carpets, warm ReelWoodTM paneled walls, and burnished staircase leading to a second floor. This home includes a basement for any storage needs as well as an attic! An antique kitchen with a real non-stasis fridge are sure to fill you with longing for older, simpler times away from the busy heyday of modern life and modern worries. While the garden needs some tender love in the front (perfect for those who love a project!), the back hosts two sheds and plenty of space to grow your own produce!

 House Profile 4/5:

637 S. Felicity Dr.

Norfolk, VA 68C 22982

4 Beds  | 2 Bath  |  645 m2  | $290,000

[118 img]

             Comfortably situated in the hilly outskirts of Norfolk, this property will let you live out all your rural life fantasies without sacrificing the conveniences of urban living. Located close to a municipal transport station and within a ten minute’s bike ride of a small neighborhood shopping center, this two-story house boasts an expansive front porch and a balcony off the master bedroom. Each bedroom is larger than average, and each bathroom has a shower/tub room separate from the toilet and wash sink. The kitchen is recently renovated with state of the art appliances included in the price of purchase. The grounds around the property are large enough for both a garden and for outdoor activities such as badminton or good old fashioned tag. A basement provides adequate storage space without the hassle of dimensional subspace installment or upkeep.

 House Profile 5/5:

12841 NE 112th Pl.

Norfolk, VA 68C 22981

3 Beds  | 1.5 Bath  |  398 m2  |  $215,000

[56 img]

             Boasting a reasonably large garden, this cozy home is at the southern end of the city, within convenient distance of a major hospital, a police station, and several schools. Public transportation is not an issue! And neither will be cooking in the quaint kitchenette, set directly across a furnished dining room. One bedroom and half bathroom are on the bottom floor, and the remaining rooms are located on the second floor. Please see the attached images for more information!

 -

 July 19th

KoraTora

I’ve forwarded you the message the realtors sent me. Objections to any of these before I comb through them for my own preferences?

 DipTipTyrone

i still vote we just shack up with the sheep

 KoraTora

Oh my stars dips that’s

we agreed that’s not a possibility

we would literally go insane

 Bentley:

No, we would go mad almost immediately

Yes what Tora said

Um, looking at them, House 1 is out for sure. You sure you specified no extra-dimensional subspaces?

 KoraTora

You know I did

 DipTipTyrone

i got a perfectly good house up there. antique. ud love it. historians dream. excellent neighbors too. dont pry. no drama.

also protip house3 has some srs bad vibes. I think I actually recognize the basement wallpaper, on second thought.

 KoraTora

????

 DipTipTyrone

Yeah, that striping—oh, that was a pretty good one. Didn’t need to answer a call for the following five years.

 Bentley

In that case, I think we’re not going to do house 3, Tora.

 KoraTora

Ohshit

Whaddya mean, Ben?? Don’t want to live there?? It could???? Be fun!!!!

 Bentley

Yeah no

 KoraTora

Roger that, no worries.

So no to 1 and 3, any others problematic?

Oh wait Ben, u might want to take another look at 2 if u haven’t already.

 Bentley

?

What do you mean, it looked fine?

3 stories are good by me

Sure the counters in the kitchen are ugly in the photos but?

 DipTipTyrone

AltBasement and Magic Windows

u wont like them

 Bentley

Oh

Okay, then 1-3 are all out. You good with 4 and 5, Tora? Dip?

 KoraTora

Yeah I hated 2’s counters too

So I’m good with checking 4 and 5 out for now.

We can always see others after this too!!

 DipTipTyrone

youre the ones actually living there

 KoraTora

Don’t u start on that mister

ur living with us, even if you’re not always around

 Bentley

It’s gonna be your home too, you know

Anyways, I can make time for an appointment next week, Tora, so don’t worry about timing on my end too much

They keep trying to send me home early anyways. Keep talking about PTSD and resting and whatever.

 KoraTora

What happened??

I will drag you home

And lay on you

And make you rest

 Bentley

Nothing happened!! They’re just worried

All the time

…Dipper you did not show up at the front desk.

This is not a good place for you

Dipper

 KoraTorako

Dipper yes!!

But also no!!!!!!

 DipTipTyrone

We’ll be home soon.

Love you.

 KoraTorako

<3

But also that was dumb shit you just pulled

 -

Appointment Notice

7/21/42

SSA: Gables, ID 980039385

CLIENT: Torako Lam +2, ID 64239

PROPERTIES: House #4428, House #6609

START TIME: 10:30, from HomeStar Inc. HQ

END TIME: 12:30, SPECIAL ALLOWANCE Late Lunch Hour, Gables, ID 980039385

NOTES:

Will initially view House #4428 before venturing out to the outskirts of Norfolk to view House #6609. Hopefully one suffices; if not, consider suggesting Houses #1103, #4345, and #3327.

Potentially choosy clients.

 -

 Shari Ndadia, 11:28 AM

Cords, I heard you’re back early?

What happened?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:29 AM

My intuition was right, they are uncannily choosy clients

We didn’t even make it into 4428 before one of them stopped still and said ‘No.’

 Shari Ndadia, 11:29 AM

Holy shit

What??

What was it?? It couldn’t have been the exterior. It was so nice in the pics I’ve seen.

You always snatch up the nice ones.

 Cordelia Gables, 11:30 AM

Apparently

The InvisiFence was too magical

 Shari Ndadia, 11:30 AM

What the?

But, like, almost all the houses in Norfolk proper have InvisiFences?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:30 AM

Exactly

Which is why I thought ‘oh thank God we’ve got 6609, no InvisiFence’

And it went well at first, but then I told them about the security system

And the tall one was like ‘oh no’

And I was also like ‘oh no’

 Shari Ndadia, 11:32 AM

Wait

Wait

You’re still at square one with these clients?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:32 AM

Yes.

 Shari Ndadia, 11:32 AM

You? Queen of Sales?

She Who Strikes Yes On At Least One Initial Property?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:33 AM

Like I said: choosy.

 Shari Ndadia, 11:33 AM

What was wrong with the security system?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:33 AM

Not customizable

Though to be fair

They probably were only going to give that house a maybe

They weren’t too thrilled about the stasis fridge

 Shari Ndadia, 11:35 AM

…choosy.

I wish you luck with them. You going to go through our backlog of communal properties yet?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:36 AM

I’m not that desperate yet.

 -

To: olpink@homstar.com

From: cogable@homestar.com

SUBJECT: Issue with Client Lam [64239]

RECEIVED: July 30th, 3042

Mx. Pinkflax

           I regret to inform you that I have truly exhausted all of our listed properties for Client Lam and her partners. They have refused everything I have offered; I wonder myself if the property they want even exists within Norfolk. Between their confusing and adamant disdain for any kind of dimensional subspace (including things as mundane as storage spaces) and their insistence on customizable security systems, as well as their avoidance and hesitance around any kind of technology that involves stasis in any way, shape, or form, it has been impossible to fulfil their needs with the properties available to us.

           My suggestion moving forward is to either assign them to another Realtor within HomeStar, or to transfer their entire application to another company. If I recall correctly, you are on friendly terms with Lindquist Realtors. Perhaps something in their directory will suffice.

 Sincerely

Cordelia Gables

 To: cogable@homestar.com

From: olpink@homestar.com

SUBJECT: RE: Issue with Client Lam [64239]

RECEIVED: July 30th, 3042

Cordelia,

           Are you sure there’s nothing? You’ve gone through the communal backlog? I’ve looked over the application and I have some thoughts. What about House #7421? Or #8577? They’re a bit above price range, but I believe they could work.

 Olive Pinkflax

 To: olpink@homstar.com

From: cogable@homestar.com

SUBJECT: RE: Issue with Client Lam [64239]

RECEIVED: July 30th, 3042

Mx. Pinkflax,

           With all due respect, I have met with this trio every day for the last week. I dug into the backlog. I have recommended over 50 properties and shown them about a third of those. I was close with #4443, but the damn pet flap and subspace pet room killed it. If I don’t get a break from dealing with these very nice, very terrible clients, I will explode. The brown haired one has taken to very poorly concealed laughter whenever the hoodie-mask one refuses to set foot on the property. I cannot.

           If you have ideas of properties that would suffice, please be my guest. It would be nice to get back into the practical side if things, wouldn’t it?

 Sincerely,

Cordelia Gables

 -                              

 OLIVE PINKFLAX

Senior Realtor

hello@pinkoliv.org

Phone  HomeStar Inc. Messaging

 Born and raised in Norfolk, Olive Pinkflax hasn’t always wanted to be in the real estate business. They studied History of Architecture and Design in Georgia at the University of Savannah with the intent of pursuing a career in either graphic design or interior decorating. They then went abroad to work at non-profit agencies for a total of five years—in which the job market back home changed, largely at the fault of the Recession of 2978. Due to a lack of job openings, however, they eventually took a secretarial position at UniqNorfolq, a small real-estate business. There, they learned the tools of the trade due to insufficient staffing. By 2995, UniqNorfolq had become HomeStar under Pinkflax’s capable hand. While still small, they have grown the company into a name synonymous with quality, perseverance, and dedication to their clients. When not busy at their company, Pinkflax enjoys painting at home and doting on their pet rat, Squeakums.  

Audio Version             Non-English Versions             Font Adjustment

 -

 Client Transfer Notice, HomeStar Inc. Realtors

7/30/42

CLIENT: Torako Lam +2, ID 64239

ORG SSA: Gables, ID 980039385

NEW SSA: Pinkflax, ID 980012114

REASONING:

Client Lam and her partners have proven to be challenging cases. As this is the case, I have decided that the current best course of action would be to handle their properties personally. Attached to their case file are a list of all the properties that they have been recommended and shown, as well as notes describing their reasons for discontinuing interest. I am open to collaboration and ideas.

Pinkflax

 -

 July 31st

KoraTorako

We’ve been transferred to another Realtor at HomeStar, guys. Apparently it’s the owner of the company.

Bentley

I was afraid this would happen.

We’re being so picky.

DipTipTyrone

Better to be picky now and end up with what we want later!

A quickly made deal is always worse for the receiving party. Better to bide our time.

KoraTorako

Yeah, what Dip said

Also, of course we’re picky??? We’re traumatized.

We’re allowed to be picky, even if they don’t know why.

Bentley

I mean…I could live with a subspace we’d never use, I guess

KoraTorako

No

DipTipTyrone

No

Bentley

Why??

It’s my hangup

KoraTorako

You’re already compromising on stasisware

Bentley

We can always replace that!!

KoraTorako

So?? It still makes you super uncomfortable for completely valid reasons.

I still think we shouldn’t compromise on that.

Bentley

If we didn’t compromise on that

There would be nothing in Norfolk

I’m starting to think there is nothing with our current demands

The house on Clement was cute, wasn’t it? It was nice!

DipTipTyrone

It had the subspace pet flap

Bentley

That we’d never use!!

KoraTorako

You looked ready to start sparking

Or glittering

And also you had that ‘I’m on the edge of reexperiencing all of my recent traumas’ face on

Bentley

If I can deal with everything in daily life

I can deal with a pet flap

KoraTorako

But it’s our home

You shouldn’t have to deal with it at home

This is supposed to be a safe space.

DipTipTyrone

Home isn’t daily—ok Torako got me.

Bentley

It’d be better than the apartment we’re living in right now

Which

If you remember

Is where I got kidnapped from

DipTipTyrone

I do keep mentioning we can live with the Sheep

KoraTorako

You make a fair point, Bentley But also, this is a house we’re going to be in for a long while

Let’s make it worth it, ok?

Bentley

I

Fine, whatever

KoraTorako

I don’t want us to live here either

If we need to we can, I don’t know, AirDrop an apartment for a couple months

Keep our stuff in the apartment so that we don’t have to move it all immediately

We can make this work, Ben. We can have our steak and eat it too.

…

Bentley?

 -

Appointment Notice

8/03/42

SSA: Pinkflax, ID 980012114

CLIENT: Torako Lam +2

PROPERTIES: House #7421, House #8577, House #2468, House #1697

START TIME: 12:30, departure from HomeStar Inc. HQ

END TIME: 15:30, departure either from House #1697 or from HomeStar Inc. HQ in best case scenario

Starting with Houses #8577 and #7421 on the very outskirts of Norfolk, we will work our way into the center of town where both House #2468 and #1697 are located. None of the properties have any listed subspace technology integrated into the premises, none of them have magically-powered fences or windows, and only one comes equipped with a stasis fridge. Will make offer to replace fridge with an older but still highly functional device free of charge if the property is accepted.

 -

Client Profile Update

DATE:8/03/42

CLIENT: Torako Lam +2 [Bentley Farkas, Tyrone Pines]

CLIENT ID: 64239

CLASSIFICATION: Buyer

SPECIFICATIONS: Listed below

…

PROPERTY RECORD:

SSA: Gables, ID 980039385

 House #1212: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Extra-dimensional installations and heavy reliance on Magitech Appliances. [detail: Kitchen Appliances, Cabinetry]

 House #3958: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Extra-dimensional installations and heavy reliance on Magitech Appliances. [detail: Alternative Basement, Windows]

 House # 2249: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Basement wallpaper and house history. [detail: 2950’s owners were heavily involved with the Cult of Futures Past, Decorative Preferences]

 House #4428: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Heavy reliance on Magitech Appliances [detail: InvisiFence surrounding property. Client Farkas refused to cross the boundary, saying “No” nearly immediately. Apparently sensitive to magical energy. Caution moving onwards is advised.]

 House #6609: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Security System installed in the property is incapable of being customized. [detail: Client Lam has expressed that a non-customizable security system is out of the question. Furthermore, Client Farkas expressed discomfort with the Stasis Fridge. Caution moving onwards is advised.]

 House #1033: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Interior did not align with Client Decorative Preferences. [detail: shag carpeting, loud wallpaper, windows too small]

 House #3290: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Security System installed in the property is incapable of being customized.

[detail: Client Lam somehow pieced together the security code engraved around all the doors and windows, researched it, and discovered that the code is unalterable without starting over completely from scratch. IE, a warding expert carefully sanding down the inscribed code and then re-installing it to customer specifications. The House Profile has since been updated. Client Lam has since expressed that she would be open to having an initially insecure home to make secure herself. Uncertain if actually qualified to do such work.]

 House #5533: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Household Electrical Wiring is too reliant on MagiTech. [detail: Client Farkas, again, expressed his distaste with the whole affair immediately upon entering the house by saying, “No,” and walking out again. How he noticed the wiring through solid wall is a mystery for the ages. Sensitivity to magic alone cannot explain it.]

 House #7567: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Interior did not align with Client Decorative Preferences. [detail: Upon seeing the decoratively engraved floorboards up close, Client Pines recoiled and uttered, verbatim, “The day I spend any significant amount of time in this accursed home is the day I lay waste to the whole of humanity.” Apparently the script contains excerpts from the original Twin Souls literature. Housing detail has been accordingly updated.]

 House #2675: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Interior did not align with Client Decorative Preferences. [detail: Apparently, Clients Lam, Farkas, and Pines are not fans of rooster-themed kitchen décor.]

 House #1181: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Basement too reliant on MagiTech and extra-dimensional subspace technology. [detail: The basement was a secret basement. Client Pines stared at the living room floor for an uncomfortably long time before raising his head and telling the SSA, “You might want to be careful opening that.” Property Owner has since been alerted and advised to proceed with caution.]

[UPDATE 7/29: Property has been pulled from the market while police reopen a case and conduct an investigation.]

 House #4482: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Interior did not align with Client Preferences. [detail: 3 bedrooms minimum is non-negotiable and the bathrooms were too cramped]

 House #5319: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Interior did not align with Client Decorative Preferences. [detail: They don’t like the color of the walls. Note to stay away from overly bright greens and yellows in the future.]

 …

[scrolling]

…

 House #5497: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: House Address. [detail: like many other clients before them, the prospects of living at 6969 Dickinson Straightway appear to have caused the clients to decline this particular property.]

 House #9569: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Building Materials not up to Client Standards. [detail: After showing the clients around the property for fifteen minutes, Client Lam hummed, squinted her eyes at the nearest window, and said, “Does that window look like somebody could break through it to you two?” The next five minutes were spent by Clients Lam and Pines discussing the fragility of triple-reinforced glass against various potential weapons, tools, etc {not limited to but including demonic powers, a bazooka, and a thumbtack} while Client Farkas sat down on the floor, put his gloved hands over his face, and muttered a nearly unintelligible “I’m sorry” to presumably the SSA. These clients are hopeless.]

 House #4443: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Pet Flap and Pet Room are too reliant on extra-dimensional subspaces. [detail: Client Farkas stared at the pet flap, turned around, and put his hand on the SSA’s shoulder before saying, “No,” and walking out. Housing information has since been updated to include the unlisted Pet Room.]

 House #3944: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Unclear. [detail: Client Lam, in the emailed response, simply said, “Look, we’re all tired and this house is too square(?) for {Client Pines}, so we’re just gonna give it a couple days before trying again.”]

[SSA is going to file for a transfer of client.]

 SSA: Pinkflax, ID 980012114

 House #7421: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Distance.

Detail: Too far from nearest transporter station.

SSA Comments: Clients appeared pleased with most aspects of the house. As per SSA Gable’s consultation, Client Lam appears most concerned with matters of household security. Client Farkas is harder to read, due to constantly wearing sunglasses, a hoodie, and a surgical mask despite the weather, but does not hesitate to make his opinions clear. Client Pines is…a mystery.

 House #8577: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Décor, House Layout, Location.

Detail: Housing does not come with security, but the spackled walls and ceiling are apparently difficult to do the variety of warding Client Lam is used to. Layout is, according to Client Pines, confusing. House 8577 is also apparently on the edge of a minor magical hotspot, as Client Farkas has confirmed.

SSA Comments: The difficulty in getting the clients a suitable home is evident. Client Farkas appears to be the biggest wildcard, despite his consistency in what he refuses. There simply does not seem to be a reliable way to ensure that the properties will not set him against them and are simultaneously up to other standards shared by all three clients.

 House #2468: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: House Size, presence of Extra-Dimensional Subspace, Décor.

Detail: At 780m2, the premises were too large for upkeep. While Client Pines seemed to disagree, offering to do more cleaning in exchange for snacks and ice cream, both Client Lam and Client Farkas weren’t convinced enough to ignore the décor (the elaborate crown molding is too “ostentatious” and “creepy,”) and certainly not when the non-disclosed extra-dimensional subspace was discovered in a false wardrobe.

SSA Comments: After the clients left, I investigated. Inside the subspace, kept pristine likely only by the fact that time does not pass quickly within those places, was an additional bed and a luxurious bathroom. The style of bedsheets and drapes indicates that the subspace was installed nearly a century ago, which seems odd seeing as subspaces in those days were unstable and tended to disintegrate. On a different note, this time it was both Clients Pines and Farkas who balked at the presence of the subspace. Take note to pay more attention to reactions in the future, and to survey properties properly before visitations.

 House #1697: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Security System.

Detail: Client Lam disagreed with the validity and effectiveness of the existing security system, and upon a close study of it (25 minutes), declared that it would be too difficult to properly alter and that removal would only be slightly easier.

SSA Comments: I would pay for the removal myself if it made these clients buy the house. There were no other issues with it. Upon my making the offer out loud, Client Lam laughed and said, “No, no, that’s all right! I’d rather find something a little more ready first!”

 House #2292: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: House Layout.

Detail: House is built like a townhome, with a main room and bathroom on each of its 5 levels; Clients professed concern regarding the kitchen being on a separate floor from the living and dining room.

SSA Comments: Unfortunate. The building fit all of their specifications—the security system installed is simple to both customize and remove, there are miraculously no extra dimensional spaces on premises, and the only significant presence of magical technology in the entire property is the mailbox, which can be replaced at a very low cost. We investigated ourselves. Client Lam, their partnership’s point of contact, did say that it was a close call, but that ultimately they would only purchase when completely satisfied.

 House #1357: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Décor.

Detail: Client Pines felt the colors were too ‘smorple’ and ‘floreen’ and several other descriptors that do not appear in any dictionary. When asked if he had noticed the issues when viewing the profile sent to them, he confessed that the colors simply ‘were different in person.’ Client Lam agreed that she didn’t appreciate the tile flooring in the kitchen. Client Farkas was quiet.  

SSA Comments: I hate to admit it, but I know a lost cause when I see one. Do they even want a house?

 -

 To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

From: olpink@homestar.com

Attached: ClientRecord64239.qbf

SUBJECT: A Professional Request

RECEIVED: August 7th, 3042

Dearest Qilar,

             I hope that this message finds you well. How is your family doing? I (and Squeakums, for that matter) look forward to our bi-weekly dinner and movie. I know you’ve discussed that the last full moon has left you feeling worn out, and I look forward to relaxing with you for a night.

           I write this message in the hopes that you would be amenable to taking on a client of ours. Unfortunately, we have been incapable of finding a property that would completely satisfy their desires. We have exhausted our listings. I know that you have several properties in Norfolk, and even those close to major terminals outside of Norfolk. I also know that you like a challenge.

           Attached is the client file for your information. Names and personal information have, of course, been redacted. They will be readable upon your agreement to take these clients on. The clients have of course been notified about this possible course of action. Should you decline this case, I would be more than understanding.

 Well wishes to you and yours,

Olive Pinkflax

 -

 To: tora@lam.com

From: hello@qilarlind.org

SUBJECT: Welcome to your experience at Lindquist Realtors!

RECEIVED: August 10th, 3042

 Dear Ms. Lam,

           Hello. My name is Qilar Lindquist. You and I have not had the pleasure of meeting, but I am sure that when we do, it will be wonderful. As you may know, my good friend Mx. Pinkflax conveyed to me their concerns that they didn’t have the property best suited to you in their register. However, with access to a larger company such as Lindquist Realtors, they hoped that you would have more success. If you are still obliging, I am more than happy to take you and your partners on as clients of Lindquist Realtors. It would be thrilling to find you the house you and your partners have been dreaming of. Please respond to this message as soon as you are capable, so that we may begin the process.

 Sincerely,

Qilar Lindquist

Lindquist Realtors

 -

 QILAR LINDQUIST

Senior Realtor

hello@qilarlind.org

Phone  Lindquist Realtors Homepage

Alternative Display Options

             While not born and raised in Norfolk, Qilar Lindquist has been settled in this fine city for the past 20 years. A born werewolf, Qilar has always wanted to follow his parents’ footsteps. He succeeded as well, opening up a new branch of Lindquist Realtors in Norfolk at the tender age of 28. He studied business, architecture, and chemistry at the University of Des Moines. Intelligent, quick-witted, and charming, Qilar Lindquist is dedicated to serving his clients in any way he can. Outside of work, he is involved with the local community theater and can be found volunteering at various non-profit goodwill organizations around the city. His husband often joins him in these endeavors.  

 Back to Realtor Biographies Homepage

 -

 August 13th, 3042

Chat with Saint Akuapem

6:36 PM

Thank you for the scones the other day. Hepsa enjoyed them.

So did I.

How is house-hunting going?

6:59 PM

Sorry, still working that Thompson case.

Thanks for working with me on it.

And the house hunting’s not going so great.

7:12 PM

Of course. You’re bright. I like hearing your input.

Just not situated to be a public officer of the law.

What with your friend.

7:13 PM

I know.

7:13 PM

I’m sorry to hear it is not going as well as hoped.

Would you like to talk about it?

7:14 PM

The realtor company you recommended couldn’t find anything for us

So we’ve been transferred to another realtor.

7:15 PM

Nothing? Really?

What realtor?

7:15 PM

Yeah, nothing. Lindquist Realtors.

7:16 PM

Hepsa says they are good. You are in good hands.

7:16 PM

Yeah, we had our first house hunting today.

I’m just worried it’s going to go nowhere here as well.

7:18 PM

Sorry for saying but. I find that hard to believe.

You will find a house.

What are your specifications?

7:19 PM

Ummm 3 BR 2 BTH Defs LDK

450-600 SQM

Garden with like 100-200 SQM?

No Magitech if possible, no exdim subspaces at all

Security system gotta be customizable or not there at all

We can be a little picky with décor sometimes

And house gotta be sturdy

There’s probably something else

7:26 PM

I see.

That would be difficult.

Are you willing to compromise on anything?

7:27 PM

Price. I put down 350k but if it gets me the house I want

Then I’ll pay more.

7:27 PM

Understood.

Where are you staying now?

7:27 PM

Still in the apartment

Got the lease to finish

Hate it but until we have somewhere else

7:29 PM

…how is Bentley?

7:29 PM

He’s stressed.

With the house, and being here

He’s always having nightmares

So tired all the time

Insists on going to work though and I cant talk him out of it

I want to get a house for him

But I don’t want him to have to deal with all the shit he is in the apartment

He doesn’t see himself as important enough to take care of, sometimes

So I have to take that into account

7:32 PM

What exactly is going on, Torako?

How is Bentley not taking care of himself?

7:32 PM

Like, it’s not that I don’t understand where hes coming from

I get that I might be being a bit unreasonable

But he keeps saying ‘oh I can just DEAL with having an exdim subspace in the house’

‘never mind that it’s a huge trigger for all my trauma’

‘and that I sometimes cant stop looking at it just to make sure its still there and im still on the reality side of things’

‘ill just wear my magic-cancelling glasses all the time’

‘and be unable to sleep from the headache’

‘it’s not that big of a deal, torako, let’s have the magitech here that hurts to look at too much’

‘who cares, it’s just a fridge torako!! Not like it was used to TRANSPORT ME to a FOREIGN COUNTRY so that a MADMAN could CONDUCT EXPERIMENTS ON ME to the point that I almost took FATALLY DRASTIC ACTION’

He keeps saying he’ll just put up with his trauma like it’s a minor inconvenience!!

And he shouldn’t have to do that.

Not in a house that’s our own.

7:36 PM

Bentley was what now.

7:36 PM

Oh right

You didn’t know that part

7:36 PM

You went to get him.

7:36 PM

of course

I love him

7:36 PM

Therapy?

7:36 PM

Bentley? Yeah.

Hell of an NDA.

7:37 PM

No, you.

7:37 PM

She’s the only other person who knows everything.

Like, everything everything.

wait what?

7:37 PM

Torako.

I think you’re not doing as well as you think you are.

7:37 PM

Bentley was tortured

I wasnt

7:38 PM

I’ll believe you on that.

But you still devoted yourself to finding him.

And he was tortured, and you have to deal with the consequences of that too.

7:38 PM

???

7:39 PM

You sound stressed, Torako.

And scared.

7:39 PM

Maybe a little

But Bentleys more important rn

7:40 PM

I would say you’re both equally important.

Sorry, Torako, Hepsa is calling me; we’re going to a late night movie.

I’ll keep my eye out for you.

7:40 PM

OK

Thank you

I really appreciate it

 -

 Client Profile Update

DATE:8/15/42

CLIENT: Torako Lam +2 [Bentley Farkas, Tyrone Pines]

CLIENT ID: IMP64239

CLASSIFICATION: Buyer

CAUTION: PICKY, SPECIFIC, UNCOMPROMISING

SPECIFICATIONS: Listed below

…

LINDQUIST REALTORS PROPERTY RECORD:

SSA: Lindquist, ID 109A854D

…

…

NEW UPDATES 8/15/42

 HOUSE ID: 798A 209X

ADDRESS: 389 West Hampton Drive

SELLER: Mx. Adelaide Hanson

STATUS: DECLINED

NOTES: Unfortunately, despite attempts to the contrary, the clients were not impressed with the security system. We discussed it at length at Lindquist Realtors and felt it sufficient, but Client Lam insisted quite sternly that she needed to have full control over the system. RapierSolutions is a top of the line system. I tried to convey that to Client Lam, but she refused to hear sense. “I need to be able to alter it,” she said. “If I can’t alter it, it’s a no-go—especially with those weak windows and the shallow hinges on the entryways.” Mx. Pinkflax was not kidding around when they said Client Lam was a bit controlling over safety specifications. Possible paranoia?

 HOUSE ID: 665D 187L

ADDRESS: 9821 NW 4736 PL

SELLER: Mr. and Ms. Nakatani

STATUS: DECLINED, INACTIVE

NOTES: We combed the premises for subspaces personally. Nevertheless, Client Farkas quietly pointed out that there was a secret bunker hidden under the premises, and that it spanned the entire property. While he hastened to assure us that it wouldn’t be that much of an issue, Client Lam overheard and insisted that they wouldn’t buy any property with extradimensional subspaces. When Client Farkas attempted to tell his partner that they weren’t going to use that garden gate anyways, Client Lam shut him down. Client Pines also wandered over from where he was inspecting the brick wall of the garden, said “This place might be cursed,” and waved his partners cheerily off of the premises.

Upon notifying the authorities as required by law that there may or may not be a curse on the premises, the police shut down the premises. Any attempt to contact Mr. and Mrs. Nakatani beyond alerting them to the existence of the subspace has been unsuccessful.

UPDATE: the extradimensional basement is now the scene of a crime. 665D 187L is now under government jurisdiction.

 HOUSE ID: 278K 396V

ADDRESS: 421 Wildstar Avenue

SELLER: Mr. Fegelhorn and Mr. Gil

STATUS: DECLINED

NOTES: Client Lam, predictably, criticized the ‘astounding lack of security’ in the warding system, the ‘structural instability’ of a perfectly good cellar window, and the presence of a stasis fridge on the premises. Client Farkas was silent. Client Pines said that he ‘liked the staircase’ but that the upstairs bathroom tub was ‘too small for his preferences.’ Naturally, the clients declined the home.

 HOUSE ID: 525P 792S

ADDRESS: 98 Maplefarm S. Street

SELLER: Mrs. Polinski

STATUS: DECLINED, INACTIVE

NOTES: Surprisingly, it was not Client Lam or Client Farkas who had reason to decline the property. This is probably because Client Pines, five steps past the garden gate, hissed and bodily hauled his partners away from the grounds. When asked what the matter was, he snarled out in the most terrifying voice something about unquestionable evil and the screams of the undead. As required by Law, we have notified the authorities.

UPDATE: Property is now under police jurisdiction. Norfolk Government Demonologists and Exorcists evacuated the entire block for a full 48 hours. It seems Mrs. Polinski was being possessed by a terribly old demon, Hyutgen the Voracious and had been for an undetermined amount of time.

What is up with these Clients and finding horrific crime scenes?

-

August 15th, 3042

Chat with Handsome <3 <3 <3

5:28 PM

Darling, what’s up?

You seem to be staying late at the agency today

As of late, really.

Is it The Clients?

5:57 PM

I’m so sorry.

Yes, it is.

This is much more difficult than anticipated.

Olive called it a challenge and I was foolish enough to think I had it in the bag.

The Clients are insatiable.

There’s always something wrong with the properties. Always.

And they keep uncovering properties as crime scenes??

6:03 PM

I’m so sorry darling.

6:03 PM

I don’t know if I can do this anymore, Bayani.

I’m so tired.

I’ve shown them over 30 properties, personally.

6:04 PM

Do you want to talk it out?

I can get your favorite dinner together

We can curl up on the couch

Put on some Strandson

6:05 PM

You know what?

Yeah.

Yeah, that sounds nice.

I’ll be home in 10 minutes.

6:06 PM

See you soon <3

6:06 PM

<3 <3

 -

 To: tora@lam.com

From: hello@qilarlind.org

SUBKECT: Realtor Change Notification

RECEIVED: August 16th, 3042

 Dear Ms. Lam,

           My apologies in advance for the contents of this email, though I hope it finds you well. Unfortunately, due to my position as head of company, I am unable to continue being your Realtor. I have transferred you to the care of one of my very capable senior agents. Mx. Ya-en. I hope that you understand, and that Mx. Ya-en can see to your needs better than I have.

 Sincerely,

Qilar Lindquist

Lindquist Realtors

 -

 HARLEY YA-EN

Senior Realtor

hello@harleyyaen.org

Phone  Lindquist Realtors Homepage

Alternative Display Options

             Harley Ya-en, despite xir elderly age of 84, is one of Lindquist Realtor’s most capable senior Realtors. A psychic who can read auras, Harley Ya-en is capable of anticipating the client’s needs and emotions. This allows Mx. Ya-en practical insight into which properties will suit a buying client’s needs. Xe also has a wealth of knowledge regarding the Norfolk area due to living here for the past 50 years, and is a font of trivia sure to satisfy the most curious of souls. Xe lives with xir husband and wife, and enjoys taking road trips—

 -

 To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

From: harleyyaen@lindquistrealtors.com

SUBJECT: LOL NO

RECEIVED: August 17th, 3042

 Qilar,

           Holy fucking shit you do not pay me enough for this. You have to transfer them. I cannot work with these clients.

Sincerely,

Harley

 -

 To: harleyyaen@lindquistrealtors.com

From: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

SUBJECT: RE: LOL NO

RECEIVED: August 17th, 3042

 Harley,

           What happened?? What did they do??

 Qilar

 -

 To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

From: harleyyaen@lindquistrealtors.com

SUBJECT: RE: LOL NO

RECEIVED: August 17th, 3042

 Qilar,

           They didn’t do anything in particular. They’re just impossible clients—I’m thinking it’s not even their fault, entirely—and I have read their file. Even with that, I was hesitantly down for the challenge until I saw their auras and interacted with them today. I am Not Doing It. I am too old for this. Give me another assignment.

 Sincerely,

Harley

 -

 To: harleyyaen@lindquistrealtors.com

From: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

SUBJECT: RE: LOL NO

RECEIVED: August 17th, 3042

 Harley,

           I’m sorry, I need more explanation than this to take you off immediately. I handled a week. So can you. You can’t use your age as an excuse all the time.

 Qilar

 -

 To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

From: harleyyaen@lindquistrealtors.com

SUBJECT: RE: LOL NO

RECEIVED: August 17th, 3042

 Qilar,

           Fine: here it is.

           I only got the two Clients. Client Pines was, as they said, out on important business, who knows when he’ll be back. Something was fishy about that but okay, I won’t pry, and these two are setting me off on edge a little as is so maybe it’s just that.

           Then the more I interact with them, the more I realize that Client Farkas’s aura is just fucking weird. Bananapants, CocoNutPuffs, whatever you want to call it. It’s all muddled and patchy and a headache and a half to read. It’s like somebody took his aura, threw out most of it, and stuffed a bunch of excess aura in to fill the gaps. There’s no way he was born like that, and there’s no way whatever happened was pretty (or probably even painless). He’s definitely trying, though, so I figured aight, we’ll see if we can’t compromise with this whippersnapper.

           The problem is Client Lam.

           Client Lam doesn’t want to be pleased. Client Lam, for whatever reason, is terrified. And overprotective of Client Farkas. And she’s absolutely looking for reasons to be disappointed, or she’s at least seeing shadows where there are none. We could present Client Lam with a fortress and she wouldn’t be satisfied. My bet is that whatever happened to Farkas’s aura was traumatizing, and Lam was impacted by that trauma. I showed her two viable properties at excellent prices with wonderful locations and an astounding lack of extradimensional pockets or Magitech gadgets, and she found fault with them. Neither were crime scenes, thankfully.

           You may want to assign them with somebody who has experience—but you could also use this opportunity to show some junior realtors how tough clients can be. Also, the junior realtors might not be so entrenched in the practice, and they could have some excellent ideas.

           Or you could just…send these clients to somebody else. Your choice. I’m just not dealing with it. They’ll drive me into an early grave if I take this too seriously, and you know how I get.

 Sincerely,

Harley

 -

 To: tora@lam.com

From: hello@amarshir.org

SUBJECT: Realtor Change Notification

RECEIVED: August 18th, 3042

 Dear Ms. Lam,

           Hello! What a pleasure it is to meet you. I’m writing to inform you that unfortunately, Mx. Ya-en is unable to continue handling your case. The upside is that I am able to do so in xir stead! My name is Amar Shirvani, and I’m going to be handling your case from now on. I’m excited to work with you and your partners, and hope that you are as excited to work with me! I promise I will do my best to help you achieve your housing dreams!

 Yours,

Amar Shirvani

Lindquist Realtors

 -

 AMAR SHIRVANI

Junior Realtor

hello@amarshir.org

Phone  Lindquist Realtors Homepage

Alternative Display Options

             Native to Norfolk, Amar Shirvani is the youngest member of Lindquist Realtors at 22 years old. He recently graduated from the Offet University of Business with honors. While not the most experienced, Amar brings exuberance and creative thinking to the team at Lindquist Realtors. He has been involved with volunteer work from early childhood due to his parents—

 -

 TweetyFlaps Trending

#clientwoes

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself

@Silverforks

So I’ve got a kind of sort of customer service job, right. And so far it’s been fine! I’ve had ok clients. And then Bossman slides me a paunchy one cross the table and I start to understand #clientwoes for the first awful real time. 1/ 10:48 AM        23 AUG 3042

______________________________________________________________________

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

2/ i know from the start its gonna be a Ride. Like, chalk and candles intensity. Client file is thicc w/rejected properties (im in housing). But I’m game!! Im always game, you know me haha. Unfortunately… 10:50 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

3/ these are clients from hell. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were actually demons in disguise. Here to torture me. For something. I aint actually ever summoned nothing. But like, it’s unreal how BAD this exp has been. 10:51 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

4/ for 1, they all look normal expt one of them. Head to toe, covered. Would think was vampire, but that’s usu specified in reports. Nobody’s seen his skin other than flashes. Aight, tho, I aint prejudiced, i’ll roll with it. 10:53 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

5/ so they super picky clients, right. I thought nah, they cant be that bad!! Just haven’t hooked the right worm yet. So I pick out a coupla worms (houses) that I think they might enjoy and hoo boy was that a chore, but im satisfied! Spoiler: they aint. 10:56 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

6/ they aint never gon be satisfied. #1, not-vampire client mentions v v quietly to me that sorry, theres a thing he cant deal with on premises, but mb they can still keep it in mind?? But (super good hearing???) another client hears and squawks about it. he aint having it, apparently.   10:58 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

7/ and then third client (Harpy) hears bc squawk, and she SUPER aint having it, so we just go to the next house. And the next one. And—u get it already.   10:59 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

8/ and like, im patient. Im pretty lowkey. But today’s house was—perfect?? There was nothing wrong with it. Client Hoodie didn’t say nothing bad. Liked the rooms. Client EllieEars don’t complain bout no weird curses or dead bodies or bad décor. But Client Harpy?? Client Harpy is impossible. 11:02 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

9/ u kno what she said?? She said, and I repeat: the front door is too thin.

The front door. Which is a solid 5 cm of wood (real!! Wood!!). is too thin. It’s “Insecure”. 11:03 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

10/11 I didn’t say it bc im a good worker, but I really wanted to go off on her. She’s impossible. This is the worst assignment ever. Ive worked so hard my soul’s gonna feel it 5 carnations down.   11:05 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

11/11 srsly. 5 cm of solid wood!! Insecure. Unbelievable. #clientwoes 11:05 AM        23 AUG 3042

 -

 August 23rd  

Bentley

Sally Mihn at work sent me this.

You might want to take a look.

https://tweetyflap.com/silverforks/status/1199679934986810752

 DipTipTyrone

oh boy

that’s about us alright

 Bentley

Yeah

It is

Torako

We need to have a fucking talk

 KoraTorako

We do need to have a talk with the realtors

That’s unacceptable

 Bentley

What we need to do with the realtors is apologize

What we three need to do is discuss what the fuck we’re doing

 KoraTorako

No, that was completely unprofessional

And what do you mean, what are we doing?? We’re looking for a house.

 DipTipTyrone

I’ll take care of the tweets for a pack of gummies

 Bentley

No, Dipper

Torako

We have been house-hunting for a month

We have looked at over 200 houses by this point

 KoraTorako

Thanks dip but probs not

 Bentley

And you have said no

To all

Of them

We need to fucking compromise

 KoraTorako

Compromise on what?? Our safety?? Our comfort?

 Bentley

No, on your unachievable standards

 DipTipTyrone

Oh

Oh no

 KoraTorako

Who says they unachievable??

 Bentley

The 200+ houses we’ve looked at to dismiss out of hand!

 DipTipTyrone

This is a fight, isn’t it

 KoraTorako

I’m just making sure that whatever we get will be safe!

 Bentley

Most of them HAVE been safe!

You’re just being STUPIDLY overprotective!

 DipTipTyrone

oh no im the

im the middle party aren’t i

 KoraTorako

I am not!

 Bentley

Yes you are! You need to trust me to make choices for myself!!

 KoraTorako

Well, I would if you weren’t so insistent on ignoring your own wellbeing!

 DipTipTyrone

How does one mediate

 Bentley

I’m just trying to find a fucking house! I’m trying to meet them in the middle!

 KoraTorako

Not on that you shouldn’t!

 Bentley

It’s MY choice!

 KoraTorako

And it’s MINE TOO!

You shouldn’t be in an environment that causes you to have so many fucking nightmares!

Like you are NOW

 DipTipTyrone

Uuuhhh shit shit shit um

You’re both right and both wrong?

 Bentley

Love you, but Shut up dip

And maybe I’m having nightmares because we’re still in this fucking apartment

 KoraTorako

I told you we could stay at another Rental until we found a house!

And shut up dip, im the right one here

 Bentley

You’re the right one???

We can’t solve everything with money, Torako!! And at the pace we’re going, we’d be in that rental place until our current lease is up Next January

 DipTipTyrone

…maybe this is an in-person convo?

 KoraTorako

I just want our house to be safe!! What if something happens again?

 Bentley

It won’t fucking happen again! Fantino was a one-off. I haven’t pissed off any other researchers overly invested in their research lately!

 DipTipTyrone

What about that one guy at work?

Wait no ignore that

 KoraTorako

But it MIGHT! We! Don’t! Know for sure!!

 Bentley

We don’t know that it WILL happen, Torako!

You need to just let this stupid fucking paranoia go

 DipTipTyrone

Uh

 KoraTorako

Stupid?? Fucking paranoia??

 DipTipTyrone

Bentley that was not uh

Not good

 KoraTorako

It’s not paranoia if it could happen again. It happened once.

I can’t forget that, Bentley. I can’t forget going to open that door and finding it unlocked. I can’t forget opening the apartment to you being gone, and to the wards being destroyed, and to everything I thought was keeping us safe not actually keeping us safe.

I’m not doing that, Ben.

The house we’re getting?? Is going to be fucking safe, and I am going to make it that way.

 DipTipTyrone

Torako…

 Bentley

Look, I get that

But there were ways of making the houses we looked at safe that you weren’t willing to entertain.

That one, with the green roof and the cute staircase?? That was totally viable. We absolutely could have torn the security system out with no trouble.

We literally have Dipper to do that for us.

But you said no! Like you said no to the one with the nice garden, and the one with the really big open windows.

I just want a house, Torako.

It’s not even like we’re necessarily going to live here forever? So if it’s not perfect, I’m ok. I just want somewhere to live that’s not the apartment.

 KoraTorako

And I just want us to be safe, Bentley.

I cant do this right now.

I have to go.

 DipTipTyrone

Is it over?

…fuck it isn’t, is it.

Fuck.

 -

To: hello@qilarlind.org

From: tora@lam.com

SUBJECT: Important

RECEIVED: August 23rd 3042

 Dear Mr. Lindquist,

           Hello. I’m writing to inform you that one of your employees—I’m assuming our current agent, Mr. Amar Shirvani—vented about my partners and I on a public forum. Here is the link: https://tweetyflap.com/silverforks/status/1199679934986810752

           While I understand that we have not been very accommodating clients—myself particularly—I don’t believe that this appropriate behavior. Venting is important, but the place where Mr. Shirvani chose to express his frustrations wasn’t the right one. Please convey this to him for me.

           I don’t want him to lose his job. He’s young and hasn’t learned this particular lesson yet. But I also find myself hesitant to keep working with Mr. Shirvani. Would you be willing to either transfer us to another realtor, or recommend us to another company like Mx. Pinkflax did? I would really appreciate it.

 Sincerely,

Torako Lam

Private Investigator

.

-

 To: tora@lam.com

From: hello@qilarlind.org

SUBJECT: RE: Important

RECEIVED: August 24th 3042

 Dear Ms. Lam,

           I’m very sorry to hear about what Mr. Shirvani did. We’ve discussed the incident and he understands the impropriety of his actions. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.

           While I believe that we have exhausted our properties here at Lindquist Realtors, I am happy to recommend you to a few other businesses in the Norfolk Area. They’re smaller, but perhaps they have the specific kind of property that you are looking for. I will do my best to put in a good word for you. Should that fail, I will personally endeavor to find you the house you need.

 Sincerely,

Qilar Lindquist

Lindquist Realtors

 -

 August 24th

Chat with Reynash Pines

11:01 AM

Hey Reynash

Can I ask you a question?

11:02 AM

What a surprise to hear from you via text!

Usually you just pop in and scare my soul out of my chest.

But for your question-- please ask

There’s nothing to do at work at the moment.

11:02 AM

Wouldn’t you usually leave?

Or have things changed again without me realizing it?

11:03 AM

Oh no, normally I would

But I have an appointment at 11:45 that I have to stick around for.

What’s your question?

11:04 AM

Torako and Bentley are fighting over housing.

We’ve told you about the house-hunting, right?

11:04 AM

Oh dear. Yes, I know.

Why are they fighting?

11:05 AM

Trauma. I think. They didn’t say themselves.

But I think it’s trauma.

Anyways, that’s not the important part.

What’s important is how do I help them?

11:06 AM

From the incident back around May?

Oh dear.

Are you sure that’s not the important part?

11:06 AM

Mostly.

Anyway. I just need to know how to mediate.

I haven’t mediated in…

In forever?

I can’t remember.

11:07 AM

…why are you even asking me?

11:07 AM

Because not many people know me as me

And you’re one of the only people who has known me as me for a significant amount of time and are also NOT ben or tora

And also you’re pretty calm mostly except when I show up and scare you

11:09 AM

Well

In my defense, I think most people would be scared if you showed up out of thin air and yelled strange things like WHAT YOU CRAVIN or whatever.

11:10 AM

Are you…sassy?

11:10 AM

Possibly

Back to your predicament: mediating

Have Bentley and Torako been able to talk to each other in person about this?

11:11 AM

No :(

They’ve been very quiet around each other at home.

And Bentley’s going on a trip soon.

So they won’t have a chance for a while.

Do they have to??

11:12 AM

It’s just easier to mediate when you’re all there.

Basically

They have to have the conversation, right?

Your job as mediator is to make sure they stay on task

And that no thoughtlessly cruel words are said.

11:12 AM

So they can say mean things

But they can’t mean the mean things?

11:13 AM

Okay, let me rephrase:

They’re mad at each other. They might say mean things that just hurt each other. Words that are meant to hurt each other.

They should not do that.

That does not help the conversation.

11:13 AM

Oh

Hm

So if one says the other is being stupidly paranoid

That’s where I say no, stop?

11:13 AM

Right.

11:14 AM

And if the other says one is being needlessly reckless with his own mental health

That’s where I say no, stop?

11:14 AM

Er

Maybe not, depending

Is he being needlessly reckless with his own mental health?

11:14 AM

I don’t know? Maybe? How do I tell?

11:15 AM

I can’t believe I’m saying this but

We might need to have this conversation face to face.

Please come he0-awekjhwel

11:39 AM

And remember what we discussed

And the pamphlets I sent you

And also please remind Torako and Bentley that Lata would like to see them sometime next month if they’re able to.

11:39 AM

Thanks Ray!

I really appreciate everything

Sorry for making you scream!

 -

 To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

From: simonkhoo@khoohootrealtors.com

SUBJECT: RE: Professional Request

RECEIVED: August 25th, 3042

 Dear Qilar Lindquist

           Thank you very much for the request. I’m honored that you would consider sending us clients that you yourself could not satisfy. It honestly instills an incredible, renewed sense of capability in us here at Khoohoo Realtors.

           Upon viewing the file you sent, however, one of my junior realtors raised concerns that these particular clients may be too difficult for a firm of our moderate size to adequately deal with. Between yourselves and HomeStar Realtors, these three clients weren’t satisfied. That, to us, is a bit of a red flag. We reviewed their specifications in comparison to our own catalogue, but don’t believe we have anything that they would be interested in actually buying. Therefore, in the interest of saving everybody a great deal of time and energy, I must admit that we cannot at this time take on your clients.

 Have an excellent day,

Simon Khoo

Head of Khoohoo Realtors

 -

 To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

From: lancefraiser@dreamhomerealtors.com

SUBJECT: RE: Professional Request

RECEIVED: August 25th, 3042

 Dear Qilar Lindquist

             Thank you very much for this request.

           Unfortunately, we don’t have the time or patience for clients that would require a great deal of energy. From the looks of the file you attached, that seems to be the case with these clients. Therefore, in short, no.

 Yours,

Lance Fraiser

Senior Realtor

DreamHome Realtors

 -

 To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

From: naitafellen@redfinrealtors.com

Attachment: 2042-PoliceRecoverKidnappedManwithHelpFromCivillian.qbf

SUBJECT: RE: Professional Request

RECEIVED: August 27th, 3042

 Qilar,

           Long time no talk, friend!! Wow it’s been a while, I guess we’ve both been busy. I know this is a professional request and all, but we should get drinks or something!! I hear there’s a great alfree bar that’s just opened up downtown. Apparently it has killer drinks, and it of course it doesn’t have alcoholic stuff so you’re good to drink whatever.

           I took a look at the client rec you sent me, and hoo boy they’ve sure got a record! RedFin usually takes whatever, and you know that, but I don’t actually think we can get them anything?? I’d feel bad chucking properties at them that I know they won’t like. I think they’ve already checked out like three quarters of Norfolk lol. Talk about trying to summon with a broom and a lighter!

           Also, they really remind me of this one tweety I read recently? Oof, if that was one of your kiddos who posted it, you should really tell them that’s a bad call—both for them and the clients. These clients aren’t going to get anything in Norfolk, not with that popular tweety paired with that record. And if it gets out that your kiddo was the one that posted that??? Aint nobody gonna hire them, not with all this client confidentiality and all at stake. Gotta be careful what you post online, even when it is venting.

           Yo, but hey, hope you find somebody for these clients! They seem like they got some scary baggage. The one who nopes around magitec and exdims reminds me of something I read in the news a while ago—it was an article that was hushed down p quickly out of respect for the victim, but I still got the doc. I’ve attached it if you want to read! It might even help you figure stuff out with your clients, even if they aren’t the same.

 Let’s meet up for drinks sometime!

Naita Fellen

Owner of RedFin Realtors, Norfolk

Senior Realtor

 -

 August 27th

KoraTorako

I just received an email from Qilar that he’s going to continue to handle our case, but that it may take a while to comb through what properties they have left.

I said it was fine because Bentley’s off on a trip.

 DipTipTyrone

Great!!

This seems like a good time to have a heart to heart, don’t you think?

 KoraTorako

I, uh, what?

 DipTipTyrone

Bentley’s doing nothing right now! Bentley, talk

Bentley, talk or I’ll make you talk.

Bentley I know you’re at your hotel.

 Bentley

Oh my stars dip

What??

 DipTipTyrone

You guys argued a lot last time we really had a discussion

And you’re angry

And you need to talk about why you’re angry

So that you have a healthy conclusion to your argument

And so that you understand each other’s viewpoints better.

It’s important!

 KoraTorako

But why…now?

 DipTipTyrone

Because you sent that message

And I’m sure Bentley’s feeling vicious about it

 Bentley

No I’m not!

 DipTipTyrone

Yes you are

I can see your aura, and while it’s difficult to read, you’re very dlskajlkwjelkjewnsd;nlab

Aslkdjgwaelkl;kwa;ljk

Dlkjaw-000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

 KoraTorako

What the fuck

 DipTipTyrone

You can’t take my phone away from me!! Ha! I win!

 Bentley

You can’t just half slide through the wall so that I can’t tell you’ve blipped in!

What the hell??

 KoraTorako

Okay okay so youre serious about this

Fine

What do you want us to talk about

 DipTipTyrone

Your feelings, I guess?

Like, Bentley. Tell us how you feel about Torako’s latest message.

 Bentley

You’re not my therapist

 DipTipTyrone

No, but we’re family

Which means communication

So tell us.

 Bentley

Uuuuuggghhh

Fine

Torako, that email proves why it was stupid to just dismiss all the properties as soon as we saw them and I feel vindicated but also tired

 DipTipTyrone

Hey, um, you gotta cut all the negativity against the other person out of your message

Try again!

 Bentley

…

The email proves that it was wrong to dismiss the properties without really thinking further about them. I feel vindicated. I feel tired.

Happy?

 DipTipTyrone

Better!

Torako, your turn!

 KoraTorako

Oh my stars are we really doing this

This is so stupid

 DipTipTyrone

Do it

 Bentley

Yeah tora, do it

If I have to, so do you

 KoraTorako

Fine

I’m just tired, ok?? This has taken so much longer than I thought it would. And I know I’m at fault for some of it!!

But I’m sick of Bentley falling to the pressure of ‘picking’ because it’s what’s expected of us. I don’t want him to feel scared or uncertain or uncomfortable in whatever house we pick, even if we’re only there for a couple years until we can pay off the place.

 DipTipTyrone

Thank you Torako! I don’t see any unnecessarily hostile language in there, so that’s A-OK, you pass. Bentley?

 Bentley

I just feel bad because everybody’s trying so hard

And we’re being so hard on them

And sometimes I just don’t understand why you reject the houses? So what that the security system isn’t perfect. I don’t mind going to the effort of pulling it out and starting it again. Heck, I would pay Dip to do it easy!

 KoraTorako

But that’s not your problem

That’s a me problem

I just…I want it to be good from the beginning. I want it to work from the start so that we don’t have to worry about it.

 Bentley

But that’s not going to happen

Sometimes you have to work to make something work for you

And if we gotta do that

I’m fine with it

 KoraTorako

I…I guess

I’m still not completely comfortable with that

 Bentley

We can work on it together

And hey

If I promise to not say yes to houses that make me uncomfortable will you promise to give things like security systems and house integrity a chance?

Like, not dismiss them immediately?

 KoraTorako

…yeah. I can do that, I think.

 DipTipTyrone

Good!! I’m glad we had this discussion

You know, I’m a pretty great mediator!

 Bentley

Dipper I watched you leaf through those pamphlets during the discussion

But yeah

Thank you, dipper

 KoraTorako

Thank you, dipper <3

 Bentley

He’s blushing!!

Compliment him more

 DipTipTyrone

No!

Stop ganging up on me!

 KoraTorako

You’re so cute, Dips!!

 Bentley

The cutest

Aw, he’s glowing

 DipTipTyrone

I should have let you keep fighting

 -

 August 29th, 3042

Chat with Saint Akuapem

4:12 PM

Torako, how are you?

Hepsa says hello

Are you still looking for houses?

4:15 PM

Yeah, we are

Say hello back for me

I’m ok, but a bit tired.

4:15 PM

Excellent

A parent of one of Hepsa’s students mentioned that their mother passed away recently

And that they were willing to sell the property

It seems the mother was afflicted with a curse that prevented her from using most Magitech

And she didn’t trust extra-dimensional spaces

It was a family home, so there are 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a nice garden.

Would you be interested in looking at it?

4:17 PM

Are you fucking serious.

Yes please, a thousand times yes

When can we look?

4:18 PM

Let me ask Hepsa to ask for me.

4:49 PM

Would you be available tomorrow afternoon?

3:30 PM.

 4:51 PM

Oh gosh oh yes

What’s the address?

4:51 PM

Just meet me at our apartment.

We will walk you over.

4:51 PM

Officer you really are a saint

I could kiss you

4:52 PM

Bring some more of those brownies. It’ll be even then.

 -

 “So? What do you think?”

           Torako trailed her fingers across the mantle for the fireplace. It was a real one; apparently, pure electric fireplaces were hell to install and more hell to maintain. There were no runes carved into the rough brick, no faint thrum of magic that Torako could now pick up if she closed her eyes and concentrated really, really hard.

           The whole house had very little by the way of magic.

           “It’s…” Torako looked down at the fireplace proper. It had been cleaned, recently, shiny in the way that old things gleam when properly taken care of. The house had been loved, she was sure of it. “It’s not bad.”

           A touch to her elbow. She looked over at Bentley, whose eyebrows were quirked. “Torako. Please. Be honest.”

           She hummed, turned to lean against the mantle and look out the big windows that provided a view of the garden space. Unmaintained, a little wild. They could put a vegetable patch there, she thought. Maybe a couple fruit trees.

           “I’m not a fan of the front porch steps,” she said, “or the ramp. It’s a bit rickety.”

           “We can fix it up,” Bentley said. He paused, tilted his head, then gave her a sly little grin. “Or at least, we know somebody who works cheap for that kind of thing.”

           “Hey, you can’t let me hear that,” Dipper said from the other room, where he was laying flat on the ground with his ear to the floorboards. “My prices might go up.”

           “Is it all good over there?” Bentley asked in lieu of answering. Torako looked up at the ceiling, where runes or wards or protective magics would be. Magics that would be hers, so they would hurt less to Bentley’s sensitive eye.

           “No creepy basements filled with cadavers or slaughtered cultmembers, if that’s what you’re asking,” Dipper said. Thankfully, Illya had left them to look over her dead mother’s home one last time, so there were no surprised gasps or queer glances. “Though we may want a couple rugs. I think this floor gets cold in the wintertime.”

           “Windowpanes are a little thin,” she muttered to herself. Her fingers tapped against her leg. “Could stand to be a bit more reinforced—though the French doors are probably okay, they seem sturdy enough—”

           “Torako.”

           Bentley’s warm hand slid over the one on her leg. Torako looked at him again. He peered at her over the rims of his oversized sunglasses, golden eye shimmering just a little. “Is there anything seriously wrong with this place? Anything that can’t be fixed?”

           Torako pressed her lips together. The aching anxiety in her chest pressed against her sternum. She tried to ignore it, and the thoughts of shadowy figures cutting through the glass panes, burning through the front door, squeezing through the cracks in the floorboards to steal Bentley away from—

           “Hey,” Bentley said, soft.

           “Hey,” Dipper said, a little brighter and brasher. He took her hand in his human hand. “We’re here, okay?”

           Torako turned her head to Dipper, brown eyes crinkled at the edges (and when had he put wrinkles on?) and grin still just a little too wide for human mouths to stand. She took a deep breath, and exhaled.

           “No,” she said. Bentley inhaled, sharp. “No, not no no! I just meant, ugh, there’s nothing I don’t like about this house that can’t be fixed. That no. Not the ‘let’s not do this’ no.”

           Both of her boys relaxed on either side of her. “Yeah,” Bentley said. “Yeah, I thought this was a good one, too.”

           She twisted her hand in theirs so that she could hold them.

           “Plus, it’s like, dirt cheap,” Dipper said. “Who knew that buying a house without a Realtor handling fee would result in such a bargain?”

           “Okay,” Torako said, a grin starting to pull at the corners of her mouth. The sunlight from the window was warm against her feet, reaching up to soothe the phantom pains in her shins from all those months ago. “Let’s tell Ilya.”

           It would be a good home.

 -

To: olpink@homestar.com

From: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

SUBJECT: FWD: Thank you for your help

RECEIVED: August 31st, 3042

I don’t know whether to be furious or relieved. Mostly I’m just tired.

You up for dinner tonight?

Qilar

 >>To: hello@qilarlind.org

>>From: tora@lam.com

>>Attached: NewHouse+US.png

>>SUBJECT: Thank you for your help

>>RECEIVED: August 31st, 3042

>> 

>>Dear Mr. Lindquist,

           >> I email you to thank you so much for all your assistance. I don’t think we would have gotten as far as we did without you. Due to this journey, my partners and I realized some very important things.

           >>As you might have realized based on the name of the attachment, my partners and I have found a house through one of our acquaintances! It was lovely and off-market, and I probably wouldn’t have said no if it weren’t for our experiences with everybody at Lindquist Realtors and HomeStar Realtors. Thank you so much for your time and effort and energy, and I hope that you have a chance to relax now that we’re out of your hair.

>> 

>>Thank you again,

>>Torako Lam

>>Private Investigator

 -

 From: olpink@homestar.com

To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

 Qilar,

           What the fuck, even. Truly. What the fuck.

           I’ll bring the sparkling apple cider.

Olive

[escentia]

How to build an art website

My first attempt at building an art website was in 2016. Back then I didn't know how to write a single line of code. I bought a year's hosting with Bluehost, tried setting up a wordpress site, struggled, decided it wasn't worth it, and got a refund.

One and a half years later, in 2017, I taught myself how to code for a summer internship. I first learnt Python for data analysis, but soon realised that I could also learn HTML, CSS, and the rest while I was at it.

I finished the Codecademy course for website building in three days. Half a year later I tried coding my own Wordpress site. And, at the start of this year, with Wordpress completely revamping their website editor, I fled to GitHub Pages.

Currently my site (quietdistance.net) costs me 15 USD per year since I pay only for my domain name. That's a far cry from my first venture with Bluehost, which would have cost me 120 USD a year!

If you have no coding knowledge, and are interested in making a simple website, here are some steps I would suggest.

Learn some basic website coding. It's not as hard as some might think! Codecamy has a free course which holds your hand through the entire process: https://www.codecademy.com/learn/paths/learn-how-to-build-websites

Learn Git version control. There's another Codecademy course for that, and it can be completed in an hour!

Push your website onto Github. Github Desktop makes the process much simpler.

If you're serious about this art website endeavour, register a domain name and point that to your Github site. This step is entirely optional! Your website will already be accessible via its Github URL.

The entire process is free except the very last step, which costs less than 20 bucks. This is how I wished I had set up my site in the first place -- it would have saved me lots of money anxiety and frantically phoning technical support when I accidentally broke my Wordpress site!

Many artists these days make websites with Wix or Weebly. While these drag-and-drop, what-you-see-is-what-you-get website buiders are popular, I don't like them because:

You have to pay 5 USD every month to remove the website builder branding which is kinda ugly :( And that adds up to 60 USD a year!

Their code is clunky, bloated and slow.

Your creativity is limited to what editing options they offer you. Want links that flash rainbow when you hover over them? Cool transitions? Extra plugins? They're much easier to achieve with raw code.

If they revamp their site builder you'll need to check that your design still works the way you want it to. Since their site builders are constantly being worked on, you never know if an update might break your site.

And why Github is cool:

Github doesn't use your site to advertise themselves. They're run by Microsoft and have other revenue streams, so they don't resort to using your website as their billboard.

Unlimited sub-sites! In addition to your main portfolio site, you can easily make a separate site for every new creative project -- at no cost.

It loads super fast because it's used by professional geeks. My old Wordpress site took 10 seconds to load, and would sometimes not load at all. After moving to Github, everything could load in under 3 seconds.

You can test all changes on your computer before syncing it onto the online repository. No more accidental website breakages! Github Desktop records every file change, and you can undo them at will.

And why make a website at all?

If you post art to more than one platform, you'll realise that the number of likes/shares/comments is rather arbitrary, influenced by how long you've been active on the platform, your posting schedule, whether you've been featured, and other factors.

Instead of reflecting the quality of what you create, these numbers reflect how much value you are to the platform's advertising business. These two criteria can overlap, but often they don't. Yet these numbers can affect how other people perceive your work.

Your own website creates a safe space where you have control over how your work is presented to the world. Instead of conforming to platforms designed to maximise views and advertising profits, you have the power to create a place as weird and wonderful as you want.

It'll serve as a reminder that you're not just a data point, not just a cog in the wheel. That you should draw to make yourself happy, not just to please other people. That you're a precious and irreplaceable human being.

So sally forth and create! And may it bring you joy.

[0ancy]

Woody in Jville seeks tenant

Johnsonville, 1 bedroom

$295 per week

◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️, Johnsonville, Wellington, New Zealand

Details

Attribute Value Bedrooms 1 bedroom Bathrooms 1 bathroom Available ◼️◼◼ May 2020 Furnishings 2 desks, a desk chair, single bed, fridge, stove, washing machine, heat-pump In the area walking distance to central Johnsonville, train and bus Parking off street parking Ideal Tenants reliable people with one or no cars Maximum Tenants Suitable for up to 2 tenants. Pets and Smokers Pets negotiable, no smokers. Smoke alarm Yes

Broadband

Fibre, ADSL, Cable, VDSL, Wireless

Description

This basement flat has 2 large wood-panelled rooms, one with a kitchen attached and one with a bathroom.

There are many inbuilt cupboards, 2 desks, one of them inbuilt. There is a single bed and a heat pump.

There are 80 steps down from the road.

no dogs

0ancy Reviews

First Impressions

First of all, this is very woody. Very, very woody. 70s-theme fondu-party woody. Enid Blyton's "The Faraway Tree" levels of interior wood. It's a basement too, which is always nice, in a pondering-the-life-choices-that-got-you-here kind of way.

We can't confirm this, but this strikes us as a property where the landlord lives upstairs. Such a treat! Especially when you hear them, their family and all their visitors through your ceiling, knowing, with certainty, this is your life now.

But don't you worry about it being dark, because there are fluorescent strip lights! They sure do brighten up a place, and that gentle buzz, well, that's just soothing. And, as the following photos illustrate, this woody interior, it's shiny, so very shiny.

From the Details

1 Bedroom, quite so, and some delightful curtains to help you pretend that this isn't a studio apartment. We don't hate studio apartments, but we do hate cognitive dissonance, and the solution to the dissonance? Antipsychotic medication: to make the agitation go away.

A bit of furniture thrown in for good measure, and I don't know an adult human (of any gender) who doesn't love a nice single bed to snuggle into in the evening. Total selling point right there. Two desks, one desk chair, is an interesting decision on their part. But not as interesting as their capital-letters and punctuation-optional listing details. It is a sad reality that those who become landlords often do so through good luck, rather than good brains.

Suitable for up to two tenants, which is when that dividing curtain will really shine, I'm sure it will cut down noise.

Pet's negotiable, but no dogs. So once assumes that only attractive people should apply? Who can blame the landlord? No once wants to look out the back window to see the ugly dogs cavorting in the shared garden.

From the Photos

I don't know about you, but a crooked and out of focus photo really helps focus my mind on the decision to apply for a property. Noting, the brighter than the sun, but lacking in the warmth, fluorescent strip lighting. Will it be your responsibility to replace them should they fail? Where does one obtain a fluorescent strip bulb? Maybe there are some in the stationary cupboard at work. (Not that 0ancy encourages theft mind).

That's the heat pump. We don't know what the significance of the blue strip is on the housing. Perhaps it indicates that the unit is rated for operations in the Russian tundra during the long winter. Although they don't say it, it seems likely that the windows are all single glazed and the whole place is drafty. It's nothing that a little increase in your antidepressant prescription wont fix!

This delightful vignette is of the kitchen. Is that a breakfast nook? No, it's the entire preparation area. The commitment to wood is breathtaking. One assumes that coat hook is standing in for a towel rail, who no one has seen since last winter, when it told the sliding cupboards it was stepping out to buy smokes.

Behold! The wood! The shine! The lack of focus!

In Conclusion

Rent as percentage of net weekly wage in Wellington

35%

Additional medication required:

Antidepressants: 💊

Antipsychotics: 💊

Why wait! Get in touch now, opportunities like this don't come along every day.

[fly-pow-bye]

ThunderCats - "Exodus"

Written by: Leonard Starr

Another experiment begins? Maybe?

Fly Pow Bye's only initial mission was to review every episode of PPG 2016. That changed when I got the idea to review another reboot that was coming on while it was still airing, and my originally. Now, it seems like I have become the reviewer of reboots. I've reviewed every episode of PPG 2016, reviewed every episode of DuckTales 2017 so far, and people have asked me what I'm going to review next. I probably could have done a certain reboot that was on Nickelodeon, but there was another show on Cartoon Network that was announced that intrigued me. However, I won't be reviewing that right now, as one can tell from the title.

I'm going to be blunt: I have zero recollection of anything with the original ThunderCats from the 1980's. I do remember watching reruns of it on Cartoon Network and liking the theme song, but that's it. The impression I got from other people's recollections of it is that it was a really good one minute music video with nothing else of worth after it. I mean, just listen to CBR tell us what they felt ThunderCats was in an article about how we shouldn't be worried about a certain reboot:

Face it: the original was just as dumb as most '80s cartoons, only sustained in adults' memories by nostalgia and unfulfilled potential.

I could just take the writer at CBR at their word, and my preconceived notions would make that very easy for me. Fly Pow Bye does not do "very easy," so...away we go. Most shows would have started with a Genesis, ThunderCats starts with the Exodus.

Specifically, it's an exodus from a desolate, fiery wasteland, as we see a spaceship flying over it in ThunderCats' first shot after the opening. This spaceship is piloted by a bunch of humanoid cats led by an old man named Jaga. One of them, a orange man named Tygra, asks if he can wake Lion-O up. Cheetara tells him that they shouldn't upset the child with such a distressing view, only for Jaga to just say "WAKE HIM!"

And so Cheetara does. Jaga has his reasons for waking this kid up; he is apparently the future leader, and he must learn to take the bad from the good. He's still a kid, even having his own teddy bear, but don't tell Lion-O that.

Lion-O: I'm practically grown up!

Hmm, hmm, hmm. How wonderful he brings that up specifically.

His pet cat dragon thing starts to complain about that. Don't worry about forgetting his name, as Snarf always seem to end his sentences with a partial version of it when he's complaining, which is all the time from what I can tell. If it means anything, at least his first line is followed by our future leader telling Snarf to “let up”. This won’t be the only time, not by a long shot.

Jaga wanted to wake him up just in time to see the fireworks. Specifically, of his home planet exploding. His reasoning was that he needed to take the bad and the good. I guess the good is that he is the future leader, and he's going to let the code of Thundara live on. It has all the usual things one would put in such a code. Honor, justice, pizza. Okay, maybe not that last one.

He won't be alone either, as the nobles of the land are there with him: Panthro, Cheetara, Tygra, Wily Kit, and Wily Kat, left to right in that image above. Snarf is there too, but he doesn't even mention him. This is something he takes very well, I completely lie. Together, they are the ThunderCats. It's good for Jaga to come up with such a great name for action figures. Lion-O, with all this responsibility, does his best to accept it.

Lion-O: I will, Jaga, I swear it! ...well, I'll try.

Well, the kid doesn't have much of a choice, does he? These nobles aren't the only thing Jaga wants Lion-O and the kids at home to know about, as he lets him know about the important part of his heritage.

We get to see the Sword of Omens, and the eye of Thundara that is embedded in it. Lion-O decides to look at the gift horse in the mouth and talk about how it's got holes in the hilt, and he doesn't see that huge eye-looking thing in the center of it. Unfortunately, being only a little kid, he can't even lift it, and Jaga merely tells him he doesn't have the strength yet. He then tells Snarf to get the others.

Snarf: But I wanted to hear...

Jaga: It's important, Snarf!

Okay, maybe I can understand why he complains so much; everyone's just yelling at him to let up his yap.

When the rest of the ThunderCats come in, he gives them all weapons and clothing to protect them from the elements of wherever they're landing, as apparently they didn't need it on their home planet back when it wasn't on fire. Oh yeah, they were only clothed with their fur until now; I was trying not to point out the giant elephant in the room. I don't wonder why they decided to leave that out of any potential reboots.

After he gives the ThunderCats their outfits and weapons, the ship starts to rattle and roll. Jaga tells Lion-O to stay put while the others take care of whatever it is, but he's not having it!

Lion-O: Aw, I don't want to be safe! Safe is boring!

Yeah, forget being safe!

That rattling and rolling is from an army of ships piloted by Slithe and his army of mutants, hailing from the planet Plun-Darr. 80's villains were never really subtle with the names of their planets or themselves. When one names their kid Slithe, they may as well teach them how to laugh and evilly as possible.

They end up doing very well, destroying every other ship except for the ones with all the characters we know in there. There is a good reason why they want to keep the ship safe: they don't want to destroy the Eye of Thundara, even though only Slithe knows what it looks like.

Slithe decides to laser a hole the ship, complete with his ship making a tube connecting the two so we don't have to question if these mutants can breathe in space, and sends his army to attack. This leads to our first big fight scene between the ThunderCats and the Mutants. We know the ThunderCats' names, and now we get to see their abilities. Cheetara, she can run really, really fast. Tygra, he can disappear! Panthro, he's strong enough to break maces with his bare hands and has amazing quips!

Panthro: If you guys were as mean as you are ugly, then maybe you'd be trouble!

Oh yeah, and Kit and Kat can throw colorful smoke bombs. Most of that stuff was already in the intro, but hey, it's nice to get a reminder in the actual show. Maybe it doesn't look as good as the intro, but, and maybe it's just my standards being put very low, but I wouldn't call the animation bad. It does end rather abruptly as soon as Wily Kit and Wily Kat use their smoke bombs, but that's really my only downside for this.

After ransacking through a bunch of boxes, destroying their precious soccer ball, Slithe and one of his minions, Jackalman, do manage to find the room where the Eye of Thundara is at. They are greeted by a little kid holding a sword that's much too big for him, and a dragon cat thing who tries to call himself "Snarf the Fierce". Snarf the Fierce ends up getting caught in a net while he tries his best Scrappy Doo impression. They also do not fear a kid who can barely hold the giant sword...

...however, they do fear a shining logo with a cat on it. It also seemingly gives Lion-O enough strength to hold it for a few seconds, which is more than enough to make them all run away. If only that worked on bullies.

While the enemies have left, the ship is in not so great condition due to all of that ransacking from before, and they have to change course to a different planet that can support life. Panthro manages to find a blue planet in some dinky galaxy, the third rock from the sun. They call it Third Earth eventually.

I love that they decided to have an explanation of almost everything to all the people who really needed that MST3K mantra. How can they get to a planet that's light years away from them without any kind of ludicrous speed? They have to be suspended in pods! Why can't Jaga go into one of those pods? There's several reasons to that: he doesn't trust the auto-pilot in the condition its in, or robot pilot as this show coins it, and the pods doesn't stop aging entirely, so he'd die anyway. Why not die helping them out?

Much to the dismay of everyone else, Jaga ends up piloting the ship as long as he can, and he disintegrates, possibly with the help of a "self-disintegrate" feature on his armband. Considering his future role in the series, it is possible they felt having him fade away would be too obvious. Jokes aside, it’s not every day you get to see an on-screen death on Saturday Morning TV.

The robot pilot was apparently not programmed to land properly, so they end up crashing, and all the pods scattered across a small area. Snarf gets out of his pod first, and of course he takes the time to complain about how he wasn't going to like this, Snarf Snarf. He manages to find Lion-O's pod, and what's the first thing Lion-O says after years of slumber?

Lion-O: What are you doing, Snarf, get away!

He bumps his head, and his first assumption is that his pod shrank, and then he noticed Snarf shrank, too, and he suddenly has huge hands!

A peek in the water later, he finds out he's an adult now! Yeah, that was one thing I didn't remember from the original: our hero is essentially DC's Captain Marvel/Shazam minus the superpowers plus a cool sword minus any way to change back into Billy Batson. He does try to get used to it immediately, refusing his favorite teddy bear from Snarf in what seems to be the fifteenth time he's been indirectly told to shut up.

Slithe and his usual gang of idiots also manage to make it to Third Earth, too. We can only assume they have better pods. Snarf sees this and tries to give Lion-O the sword. It seems that the faulty pod gave Lion-O a little bit of amnesia, as he doesn't remember these specific mutants that attacked the ship he was on or the Sword of Omens when Snarf tries to give it to him, which he assumes is just another toy. See, there was a point to him having a teddy bear!

Not accepting the toy, he decides to run towards the mutants as soon as one of them decides to try to chop up one of the pods they found. Snarf, in his second time in the episode where he ended up being useful, decides to throw the sword at Lion-O, and he's able to grab it without cutting his huge hands. I'd imagine the sword helped, not that Lion-O even knows what it is.

Thankfully, Obi-Wan shows up as a Force Ghost to tell Luke to use the glowing sword. In other words, Jaga shows up as a spirit to use the Sword of Omens. Even death can't stop Jaga from fulfilling his duty to be Lion-O's Tutorial level. Just being with Jaga's spirit refreshes his memory, and, now having the strength to use the sword, he uses the sword's "sight beyond sight" feature to find the other pods.

We get this show's transformation sequence! Well, the sword transforms as Lion-O swings it and says "Thunder", and it becomes large as the Eye of Thundara shines the Cat-Signal. I'm sorry, I had to make that joke eventually! The Cat-Signal wakes the other ThunderCats up...

...and we get our second fight scene, essentially doing the same thing as last time, but this time we get to see Tygra actually use his whip, and Lion-O gets to...run across and dodge things. Okay, I wasn't expecting him to actually slash these creatures on screen, but he still doesn't get to do much with that enhanced edge.

Also, they get to do their thing with the theme song in the background...for about ten seconds before they decided, "oh wait, this is just going to look bad compared to the usual animation!" Still, it's pretty cool for 80's cartoons.

In the end, the mutants use their teleportation devices to get out of there, and Lion-O gets to boast about how awesome he is, and that he'll definitely be the leader and protector of the ThunderCats. Everyone else shakes their head, knowing fully well that inside that grown man is a little kid that appears to have the motto "being safe sucks." Snarf comments on both this and my decision to review two different versions of the show at the same time.

Snarf: Maybe it'll turn out alright, and maybe it won't!

It does feel like this episode kind of just ends, as if it was half of an episode. Actually, that's because it is. Much like DuckTales and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which would air later the same year ThunderCats did, the series begins with a story arc. They aired the first two episodes right next to each other as the Pilot, so I’m technically reviewing half an episode. However, I still have to ask...

How does it stack up?

One problem with this show is that nobody really has an amazing facial expression that I could use as a rating system. Something tells me the other version of the show won’t have this problem, but I’ve always wanted to revamp Fly Pow Bye’s rating system anyway.

I’ve always said “mid neutral”, “high disgusted”, “low happy”, and I feel like that’s just showing the flaw of using a 3 system. Sure, The Oct-Father is one of the best episodes of PPG 2016, but I gave it the same rating as The Long Skate Home, an episode that just barely scrapes above the average episode. I think that needs to change.

So, here it is: I’m just going to rate everything out of 5. As much as I love the Happy, Neutral, Disgusted ratings. This episode does intrigue me to the second half of the pilot, but I feel the best has yet to come. At least, I hope so; I really don’t know what to expect. 4 Cats.

See you on Saturday for my review of ThunderCats Roar's version of this episode...and a couple of the future episodes of this show, it seems, since the Berbils show up already in the first episode. Uh, that's going to be a bit awkward.

← n/a 🐯 The Unholy Alliance →

[palegengarsiloved]

Utangatta

"You were the only one who knew all my stories. You are the only one who knew about mom."

I re-engaged with Maniac alone armed with distance. After Russian Doll I finally felt like I had the emotional vocabulary to understand what Maniac was going for. The first time I simply absorbed it, uncritically, amniotic, expecting a fairly mindless psychadelic experience with a big-name cast and a tiny-word script. Jonah Hill and Emma Stone are absolutely outstanding, as is the entire cast, but the direction and writing and set design are unexpectedly exacting and wonderful on a level that are comparable with Mad Men or Lost In Translation. I will discuss some thoughts I had about the characters and themes after my Russian Doll-percolated re-watch. *Spoilers below*

Owen, Jonah Hill's character, is dealing with mental health issues, including fixations and the inability to separate reality and hallucinations, and is completely and utterly alone, sexless, inert -- withdrawn into a shell for fear of interacting with a world he doesn't trust to be fully real, unable to talk to women or peers or family in any authentic way after a series (a whole life, really) of errors and blips. To help this, his dreams in the clinical trial revolve around being in interesting and fulfilling and complicated relationships with women (Olivia, the woman he frightened with his first blip/break, who is a representation by the supercomputer to entice him into playing the little roles and 'solving' (and eventually trapping, after the machine breaks) him, and Annie, Emma Stone's character, who is working through her own grief and loneliness). All his dream roles are reluctant stereotypically-masculine projections that he ultimately rejects in part or whole, revealing to himself that he can move away from the toxic masculinity of his father and brother and be a man in his own way. In his last dream he finally confronts and questions the presuppositions and shoddy mental frameworks he has clung to around Olivia, and realizes that she isn't the wound he thought she was; he was his own wound, his poisonous modes of thinking and his complete lack of self-worth were shells placed around the idea of Olivia to maintain his patterns and routines of justifying that he was unlovable.

Annie is dealing with awful family trauma, stuff that put her dad in a self-sustaining capsule, literally sealed from the outside world. She is dealing with her problems through self-medication, bitter toxicity towards everyone and everything around her including herself, and a defeatist attitude to the wage-slave dystopia she is crushed under day after day in every tiny petty interaction. In contrast, her dreams in the trial have her as strong people with big agency and agendas to match - spies, femme fatales, a drunk con artist elf, basically dangerous women who have been deeply wounded or wronged on some level but who persist nevertheless. Owen reveals to her that other human beings still care and are worth fighting for, that friends can still exist as friends and not pill dispensers or faces to yell into or people who will someday die or go away like everyone she has ever loved has. Annie's confrontation and reconciliation is, like Owen's, just as much about herself as it is about a figure from her past. She initially would rather die than be vulnerable to another person after her past trauma, but she realizes that she has been deliberately nursing this idea of her sister as an controlled effigy to burn over and over rather than risking the sometimes-searing warmth of human contact again. However, her journey is interestingly different from Owen's dream-breakthroughs and real-life avoidance: it isn't the shared dreams that truly bond her to Owen, but the impossible idea that Owen actually might be right with his paranoid fixations. The idea that Owen and her might actually be truly connected in some strange cosmic manner. This belief allows her to be vulnerable again in her near-suicidal hollowness, because it allows her to believe in salvation; that she and her sister and her family might all someday be reunited, sterile and plastic and neatly arranged, like the toy diarama that she so often returns to in dreams. The fact that Owen and Annie's physical and eventually metaphysical escape is ultimately achieved through about four different secret plots all running into each other at the same time does not necessarily disprove her.

I think the idea of a supercomputer-aided clinical trial is an interesting thought experiment excuse for a story, much like Russian Doll, which I also adore, in showing that people who are so unbelievably and totally alone and broken can be fixed by looking to one another, even in the face of overwhelming pain and vulnerability and loss, even in the face of a giant omniscient system that has been broken somewhere along the way into thinking that it must kill those it fixes (read: modern healthcare, consumerism-as-medication, capitalism, patriarchal values, toxic masculinity, etc etc). I think Maniac and Russian Doll are, in their own macabre and somber ways, hopepunk - stories of hope and post-post-apocalypse, a finding of a way, in a world that has already largely ended in a fascist-capitalist techno-dystopian eco-armageddon.

Who hasn't struggled with mental health and a full array of personal demons in response to comprehending this world as it is? But in some ways I believe this shape of a story, of individuals who meet under a totalitarian system and still find each other, over and over again, and fight and ultimately sacrifice for each other and themselves, is a blueprint for how to operate in the 21st century and beyond. I believe it is, like Beauvoir and Satre, or Deleuze and Guattari and Foucault, an impassioned advocacy for recognizing the soul in each other and ourselves - a very specific, individual plea that is of course at the same time universally applicable: it is how you choose to operate in the face of certain defeat, the modes of thought you allow to have power over you, the family and friends you choose to retain in a world that tries to always put you in separate capsule beds.

"For people who are supposed to love unconditionally, families sure have a lot of conditions."

Like Russian Doll, the show confidently reuses lines and material and themes, keeps pushing and probing away at them, reworking and reangling their vectors of attack. I like shows that feel truly thought-out and self-contained, variations on a theme, a text that knowingly references itself: not as irony but as an argument that all things - ourselves, included - are this dense and self-referential and synchronous, that tell us that we unwittingly internalize everything about this obscene world that surrounds us, everything that's ugly and wrong, but also funny and random and utterly mundane. It also works as an analysis of what the show is saying about parents and children: that we are in fact of course remixes and variations of them, but we are also our own people, trying to make sense of the world using all the strange broken tools that they gave us. They, like authority figures and suicidal supercomputers, shovel so much seemingly-innocuous input into us, never guessing that we might refashion their tips as spears.

Early on, Owen dreamt that he had a plan: he was going to run away together with Annie, that they were in a car and driving really fast and escaping some unnamed, totalizing entity. I couldn't help but tear up: I knew, deep down in my bones the weakness and vulnerability as he revealed his plan, the defeated mumble acknowledging that this could never happen, and I knew from Annie's big wet eyes looking on in complete empathy and understanding, that she was also searching, as much as she denied it, for a partner to escape with. This is why the final scene was real, not another dream-within-a-dream. They learned to take control and manifest their desires, and allow themselves to believe that there just might be a plan for the universe, not handed down by God or God-adjacent drugs or supercomputers but one that you could envision and execute yourself, that you can in some way, through existentialism and each other, perhaps find meaning in a desolate world.

"This is it! This is it."