#THESE FUCKIN FRUITS !!!!!

[magniloquent-raven]

this post has been haunting me. i'm weak for beefy men in pretty underwear and @theweewooshow left an open invitation in the tags that i could not resist 😭 i was gonna say i can't believe this is the first fic i'm posting about these two, but honestly it kind of tracks.

hope yall enjoy!!

**

One of the things Tommy's always liked about Evan is how emotional he is. Expressive, is the word, maybe. Vibrant. It was one of the first things he noticed when they met. Poor kid was radiating nerves. The way his hands fidgeted in his pockets, and he wouldn't stop pacing while Tommy was double-checking their gear.

It's kind of fascinating to Tommy, watching Evan light up when he's happy, wilt when he's tired, always seeming to feel every emotion with his entire body.

All that to say...Tommy notices right away that something's up. There's a tiny, reactive part of him that wants to say wrong, something's wrong, but Evan's not pulling away, he just. Froze up for a second. It could've been a twinge in his bad leg when he climbed into Tommy's lap, or any number of other blips that won't completely derail the nice evening they're having.

But on the off chance...

Tommy carefully rearranges his grip, settling his hands comfortably on the small of Evan's back instead. "Everything okay?" He keeps his tone as light as his touch, and watches Evan's expression closely. Their eyes meet only briefly.

"No, uh, yeah." Evan's gaze skitters down, roaming Tommy's face, then darting away. "I, um." He grimaces, and shifts in place. The warm weight of his thighs is distracting. He's still a solid presence in Tommy's lap, and making no move to change that, despite his sudden singular focus on toying with the drawstring of Tommy's sweater.

The corners of his mouth are pursed into a frown that Tommy thinks about kissing away. That thought gets gently pushed to the side. Talking first, he reminds himself. Especially because... "If you're not in the mood anymore, that's okay."

Those—pink, perfect, God—lips part around a huff, half-curved into a grin. "That's kind of the opposite of the problem," he laughs.

Tommy can't help but mirror the smile, even if it's only a tiny one. "So, what is the problem?" He trails his fingertips up the line of Evan's spine, and down again, retracing the path when he feels Evan lean into the touch.

"It's...well, not hard to explain, exactly, but. I kinda wasn't expecting to explain..." He sighs, loud and exaggerated, and falls forward to plant his face in the crook of Tommy's neck, where he continues, slightly muffled, "How do you feel about lace?"

It's not what he was expecting to hear. Though, he's not sure what he was expecting. "Can't say I've thought much about it, to be honest."

He dated a girl back in the day who liked lingerie. She was always asking him what he thought about various scraps of silk and velvet, and it was all...very awkward. He always told her he'd like her just as much in cheap cotton and a borrowed t-shirt, which. In retrospect, was ironically true. When she broke up with him she accused him of being cold. Withholding. He brushed it off as neediness on her part.

He suppresses a wince at the memory.

Evan wraps Tommy's drawstring around his index finger, slowly curling it around his knuckle. "My ex. Taylor. She liked it. She liked...me. In it."

...Oh?

He can't picture it. Not in a bad way, he's not put off by the idea—very much the opposite—but when he tries, the mental image just...blurs. His brain is trying to mesh Evan with his hazy memories of things he never paid much attention to, and it's coming up frustratingly empty.

Tommy is very proud of how calm and steady he sounds when he says, “And…this was something you liked too?”

Warm air tickles the underside of his jaw. “Yeah.”

“Okay. Why are you telling me this now?” He feels like there’s something he’s missing. Something obvious he should have realized, if only he wasn’t so preoccupied with the way Evan’s thighs are flexing, his hand sneaking under the hem of Tommy’s hoodie, skin-to-skin, palm skimming his side, and the hot, tingling press of mouth-on-neck.

“Wanna find out?”

The second he nods he almost wishes he hadn’t, because all at once Evan is gone, and Tommy’s left sitting on his couch in a horny daze, blinking up at his slyly grinning boyfriend. As nice as the view is, his lap is cold now.

Evan thumbs his waistband. There’s excitement sparkling in his eyes, bright and shining, but he hesitates a moment before taking a deep breath and dropping his shorts around his ankles.

Oh.

So…lace. Tommy’s having feelings about lace. Not much in the way of thoughts yet. But feelings, definitely. The sudden rush of heat that burns through him leaves him a little light-headed, all the blood in his veins fizzing like he’s a can of soda someone just popped the tab on. His fingers itch to reach out, he aches with want, desire pooling low in his gut.

Thing is, they’re not even anything too fancy, as far as Tommy can tell. He has vague memories of his ex—and good God does he suddenly feel like he owes her even more of an apology—in complicated woven ribbons and things that probably looked like a crate of bungee cords in whatever bag they came in. Evan is just wearing…panties. Simple, pale blue, lacy panties. There’s a little bow on the front, and it’s unreasonably cute.

Evan hikes up his t-shirt a little, so Tommy can get a better look, presumably. Which he appreciates. He’s losing his mind a little over the trail of light blond hair under his belly button disappearing into soft blue lace. He wants to follow it with his tongue.

The attention is making Evan hard. Tommy’s not sure what his face is doing exactly, but whatever it is, Evan seems to appreciate it. He’s filling out that pouch in the front so fucking well, it’s making Tommy’s mouth water.

“So, uh. Good?” Christ, he sounds breathless and Tommy hasn’t even touched him yet.

It takes all of Tommy’s willpower to drag his gaze up to Evan’s face, but it’s worth the effort. His cheeks are flushed a happy pink, creased by a grin he’s failing to restrain even with his bottom lip trapped by his teeth. The blue in his eyes is a nearly-invisible ring around his dilated pupils, and shadowed by his heavy-lidded expression.

“Evan,” he says, a little hoarse. It’s all he can say without laughing hysterically at the sheer understatement of good. Without telling Evan, in detail, exactly how badly he needs to suck him off through that fabric. How vividly he’s imagining what it would feel like against his own cock, wondering if he could cum just from rutting against Evan’s lace-clad ass while he squirms and begs to be fucked properly.

And more importantly, it’s all he needs to say.

The rest he can just show him.

[annqer]

some recent sunturine doodlz

[amelia-yap]

Whiterose Bat au

oh to be a little bat and share fruit with your bat girlfriend...

[royaltea000]

Pose practice! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

[hasnomoxxie]

OK BREIF PEPPIBLAST INTERLUDE

I've been watching Dungeon Meshi and I'm obsessed wit the lil guy

I made some cursed emoji stickers :]c

Anyways

[yaoiconnoisseur]

Please consider Modern (magical) AU thirst trap lawyer Astarion Ancunin

find me on bsky

[latenightsundayblues]

Billy's way of showing affection is a bit... Unorthodox.

(it will happen again)

Stu is probably way more pleased about the discovery than any other sane individual would be

[honeybeebabs]

Can we have a moment of silence to mourn the losses of the crew on the Biera D. oil rig?

[boxofoxberry]

petra warmups heehoo

[2700k-moogie]

Milk ref sheet done yaHOOOOOOOOOOO lookit my big beautiful baby they filled with joy and happiness

[mintytrifecta]

Kingdom Hearts 3 Tarte Aux Fruit: RECREATED

[lethalhoopla]

the couple that takes down red templars while exploring old ruins together stays together yearns dramatically forevermore together (...in dreams)

(Solas x nonbinary!Lavellan - they/them)

[victusinveritas]

[bikananjarrus]

so about that epilogue huh

[junespriince]

Wally, eating a huge tub of ice cream by himself:

Dick, biting his lip, on purpose to bother Donna:

Donna, glaring at the fruits/derogatory: what is wrong with you.

[silentwalrus1]

oh did you not like sys tem coll apse? why not if you don’t mind me asking

Spoilers for system collapse below!

- felt very much like publishers/editors or whoever else were like hey Mwells this series is a smash hit you got anything else in the tank? And mwells scraped together a bunch of discarded scenes and concepts from the prev books and mushed that together into a minimum viable product

- no growth - all character arcs are either rehashes of what already happens in prev books or have no impact whatsoever. MB already learns that it cares about its friends and its friends care about it, that it can rely on them (hello Network Effect aka the most SLAMMIN AWESOME scifi action story i’ve read all DECADE); Tarik being a former corporate death squad trooper or whatever has absolutely no effect or consequence on anything; MB has even already crafted its own narrative & shared it, hello the documentary with bharadwaj??? the files it cut together for 3? THE WHOLE CONCEIT OF THE SERIES WHICH ARE THE MURDERBOT DIARIES WHICH ARE FRAMED EXPLICITLY AS NARRATIVES MB DELIBERATELY CRAFTS & SHARES WITH OTHERS???

- the climax of the book is. A montage.

Of our heroes making a powerpoint presentation.

I WISH this had been cool. It would’ve been hysterical to have a Final Battle be a pptx fight. Except.

It was. A montage. And then all the actual defining decisions happen offscreen. We don’t even get to see our heroes DO the actual thing - MB’s hacking gets a lot more detail than the construction of the pptx. Furthermore, how is this any different from what the corporate side is doing? Literally they’re both presenting competing propaganda pitch decks to a skeptical investor board that has what they want. It doesn’t actually matter that One Of These Powerpoints Is Always True And The Other Always Lies - how is it meaningfully different from a narrative & character standpoint? Right from the start of the series, PresAux are markedly different to all prior humans MB has had experience with - they are non-corporates! In this story about corporations/capitalism ruining everything! And then our other main heroes we meet, ART’s crew, are aggressively ANTI-corporate! So to have the climax of this latest book be “well both sides did the same action but one of them was objectively cooler bc it was Righteous - no dw it’s all happening offscreen anyway. Who cares.”

Well. Idk man, i was fucking bummed! It was boring!

Not to mention that the entire stakes of this whole… thing… are so lacking, as a reader? The rehash of prior arcs is especially poignant here, because none of the central concerns of the book feel like they matter. MB has already spent 5 books dealing with emotional disregulation, chronic issues caused by interactions of its organic + nonorganic parts, its attempts to navigate freedom, personhood and relationships in societies of bots and humans as a construct that is neither bot nor human but its own third thing, and learning to rely and trust itself and others. The first five books do this masterfully. System Collapse introduced nothing new, didn’t develop any relationships or plot arcs, regressed MB’s own main arc for no reason and ignored the entire symphony of a thesis of the entire damn series previous. Wish it wasn’t so :/