#THESE ARE CHILDREN DUDE DON'T SAY THAT
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for anyone not watching A2K here's a summary so far
13 year old american contestant talking to the camera: wow i can't believe i get to meet JYP my idol the most handsome and talented man in the world of COURSE i know who he is i'm gonna be sooo nervous because it's THE one and only JYP and-
*contestant performs amazingly*
JYP: even though you're so so so bad i guess i will take pity on you for the single gram of potential i see in you because i'm so handsome and talented and famous. now COME HERE >:)
child contestant: wow JYP took pity on me even though i suck, time to dedicate my whole life to him i guess
#y'all it physically hurts me to watch this#he literally tells all of them 'come here' before giving them the pendant and it makes my SKIN CRAWL#THESE ARE CHILDREN DUDE DON'T SAY THAT#why am i still watching the show ??? good question#very good question#a2k#jyp#jype
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I don't even remember what she chose in the end, but the nightmares line had me desperately trying not to lose my shit laughing
#doodles#daily life#non fandom stuff#helping children at the book store can be so funny sometimes#especially the ones who are clearly excited to find something to read but don't quite know what they're looking for#or the ones who are like “do you guys have demon slayer here” and when i say “yeah dude check it out”#and show them to the entire wall or so of face outs of the series and they're like WHAAAAAAAT WOW IT IS DEMON SLAYER YOOOOO#clearly just made their day#oh but the kids who just. Say Things like the girl in the comic are so silly too hsgshsg#her dad also made this like. wheezing noise after she said that#i have so much material for other lil comics honestly
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Ok I know I'm heavily biased here but like I kinda love that Astarion's romance is one of the few in this type of video game where you basically end up canonically unmarried and childfree in his "good" ending? Just travelling the world??
Like it's honestly the millennial dream lmfaoo cannot believe i chose what would undoubtedly be my favorite option, first try
#also love that he's basically atheist like ok thanks you made the man exactly coded to be my type#and the humor and beautiful curly hair is very much something my IRL partner has too so like... how can i resist#anyways not sure a lot of people relate cause i think a lot of people want that fairytale romance#even tho wyll is right there yall#but i love me an unconventional or nontraditional one!!#i'm TIRED of being married with children as the endgame pls let's not do it#also a lot of people seem into him being a dad and im like... how? why? where in canon did he ever lmfao#more power to ya if you dig it but i just dont see it being in character#like in DAI i loved cullen and my inquisitor getting married and having a dog#and they seem the type to wants kids one day. but Tav & Astarion? lol no#i just think it's neat#is this a hot take? i have no idea but i don't see it mentioned a lot as a new fan tbh#pls do not come at me you can enjoy whatever you like#i haven't seen the ascended stuff so idk if being his 'consort' is like being his bride#but i feel like overall it's not and the vibe isn't all that different in this sense#except that you're hosting evil parties instead of travelling :/#Astarion#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3#also YEA he's nice to Arabella but you can tolerate certain kids without wanting one or being 'good parent' material#case in point: me lmfao#OKAY update i saw the AA stuff and yeah you're kind of implied vamp married and he does mention spawn as children 😫#but he also says in banter he won't make any other spawn??? so what is it dude#anyway that's also clearly the “bad” route and he doesn't seem as happy as unascended#who feels “truly free”#and if you're durge I'm pretty sure its even worse to consider having kids?? lol#but i digress#pk plays bg3
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I just want to talk about the nursery being painted and the purpose of the Tomb to be without a door. Anastasia had a family - and putting to the side the pact with Alecto there's some implicit symbolism to John asking for the workers of the Ninth to die constructing the Tomb with that image of new life. (Still can't articulate my disbelief that he went and didn't think that asking Anastasia of all people, The one who lost her cavalier to him, would have problems)
Yeah. Especially finding this out about the Ninth, where nurseries becoming tombs is a thing we're sensitive about.
On one level we've always known Anastasia had a family. Like, we know she's Harrow's direct ancestor. You can't be heir to the line of someone who never had children. But the nursery.... Yeah. It really hammers it in. Her friends painted a nursery mint green for her children.
And now it's a tomb.
#that's what the Anastasian is now after all#you're right there's really Something there#I've noticed something in John I think ties into this thematically that I really hope Kiriona is going to help us explore#John doesn't believe in a future#I said in my last Anastasia meta that Anastasia outsmarted John by making herself immortal in a way he couldn't understand#she left behind something she created to outlast her#John hasn't built anything to outlast himself and he doesn't think of the future at all#he mourns the past and fights like hell to live in an eternal present where nothing ever ends#you know#immortality#and a part of that—maybe most of that—is about despair#even way back before the world ended even before he had magic powers he didn't think of a future#I think he couldn't imagine one#and like. I get it dude#don't imagine the future and maybe it can't hurt you#how many people have you heard saying they don't want children because it seems cruel or irresponsible#they can't imagine forcing someone to live in the world they see coming#climate anxiety is fucking everywhere and for a lot of people in our generation—John's generation—it's coalesced into despair#but Anastasia did imagine a future#she had a family#and now John has a daughter but he still can't imagine a future for her#she's just as dead and eternal as the world he loved so deeply he killed it rather than watch it die#what did Gideon say when she saw the First? it had the look of a picked-over body but hot damn what a beautiful corpse#that's gonna be you baby girl#the final expression of the art of the nine houses#John gave up on hope ages ago#so it doesn't really surprise me at all that he still asked the builders to die in the tomb#the locked tomb#ntn spoilers#nona the ninth
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so I've been watching Bluey and I'm on episode 37/52 in series 1 so I feel like I've seen enough of it to have genuine thoughts (I skimmed the wikipedia page too)
the reason I started watching it was because of its reputation among millennials with kids who have been swearing up and down that it's basically free therapy for our age group. I'm definitely in the market to having my brain chemistry altered but after 37 episodes, I don't know that I'm there yet. there is still a lot of show left to go though, and some of the most-circulated clips I've seen on social media have been in episodes I haven't come across yet, so that is subject to change.
what I CAN say is that Bluey is objectively a very good tv show that 100% deserves its Peabody award. it's thoughtful, fun, and honestly funnier than it has any right to be. I've laughed out loud more than once. Joe Brumm made the show with the intention of it being entertaining for both kids and parents and he absolutely nailed that balance, I think. in that way, it's not a kid show; it's a family show. and I like that (and I'm pleasantly surprised by how well it works!).
I haven't been a kid for a long time so it's hard for me to put myself in the shoes of a child, especially in a world that is so drastically different from mine. I think this is the first kid show I've seen that prominently features things like smartphones. I know those shows exist--the new Blue's Clues is a good example of how things have been updated to suit modern audiences--but it's something that caught my eye as an Old Fart (in internet years). Not as a bad or good thing, just as a "wow I'm getting older and it's getting harder to relate to or even understand childhood" kind of way. Maybe that's why people want to be parents so badly. To reconnect with that. I can sympathize with that feeling.
the show focuses a lot on Bluey and her sister and friends navigating the world through imaginative play, which I love and has a solid backing in child developmental psychology. I actually just started learning a little bit about play therapy (I follow a play therapist on tiktok who kinda got me into it, I love her), so I feel like I've been getting a little bonus bit of enrichment out of the show for that. it's like when you're watching a movie that's partly in another language and you don't speak the language but you recognize it and can maybe pick out a couple words? it's like that.
I think Brumm really captured lightning in a bottle with this project. you can feel the love it's made with. the storylines are grounded with just the right touch of an almost magical or fantastical quality that really makes you feel childlike wonder even as a cynical and deeply depressed 30-something. There's conflict and mess, sure, but built on a foundation of safety and community, and I think that's probably what's resonating with (american) millennials. we inherited so much instability and pain from our previous generations that it's hard to believe a world or even a family unit like Bluey's could exist. parents who love each other? who are active in their children's lives? who apologize when they do something wrong? COULDN'T BE US!
all this to say I'm enjoying the show, it's heartwarming, it's charming, it's delightful, and I hope Joe Brumm lives forever. but it's also very much designed for children so like. I worry the millennial parents crying over this show on tiktok may be overselling it.
#my diary#watcher diaries#idk do I tag this for real in a detectable way#children's media#bluey#idk if there's a way to come out of saying 'I think kid media is neat' without sounding like a creep or a loser#but it is what it is idk it's interesting from a developmental psychology and sociological perspective I think#I don't know that this show is healing my inner child or anything like that#but it's been a fun way to take breaks between assignments cuz the episodes are only 7 minutes long#I DEFINITELY would have made my sister watch this if it had been around when she was little#this show is babysitting gold right here#you can also tell that the original seed of a concept was like 'peppa pig but make it australian'#I don't think I've seen enough peppa pig to say if bluey is better or not#but I can see the inspiration now that it's been pointed out to me#it kinda reminds me of the rugrats with the story beats and how it handles humor#I'm having fun!#also I see why people wanna fuck the dad dog now#I don't want to personally but I can see why people are being like that#he's funny and charming!#dude's got two kids he obviously has game
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J.L. Laynesmith taking the 'Buckingham Did It™' route for the murder of the Princes in the Tower AND the rumors of Edward IV's bastardy ... I have to laugh
#my post#history media#this was in her book 'Cecily Duchess of York' which I have ... Thoughts on#I really liked it overall - it was meticulously researched and gave me information that I hadn't previously known about Cecily#However this often contrasts with Laynesmith's own very evident biases assumptions and conjecture#and the effect is very jarring#This becomes slightly more pronounced after 1464 and actually ridiculous after 1483.#She also suggests that Henry VI may have genuinely died of a melancholy-induced stroke like Edward IV claimed which is just...lmfao#I don't know what to say at this point lol#To be fair she does specifically note that he died shortly after Edward arrived in London and that most contemporaries believed#it was far too convenient#which is far more acknowledgement and culpability than she gives Richard III whose culpability for the 'disappearance' of his nephews is#literally never touched upon - the blame is conveniently dumped on Buckingham#honestly the whole Deal with Buckingham is so odd. dude was a political neophyte; was given a primarily ceremonial role by Edward IV#throughout his reign and was younger than Richard (who was a seasoned politician). What makes you think Buckingham of all people#was some kind of political genius and making decisions over RICHARD of all people lol?#anyway#This book was pretty decent with Margaret of Anjou which was great#it was less decent with Elizabeth Woodville which was not so great :/#some of the assumptions it made (for Cecily's benefit naturally) were so weird#and the way she 'reassessed' Elizabeth's role in 1483 was very distasteful#I might make a separate post on that because it was very annoying#(also claiming Henry Tudor landed with 'a small band of Lancastrian exiles' - yeah no. the majority of the 'exiles' who supported him were#Yorkist aka Edward IV's supporters who opposed Richard. because this was very much an internal civil war between the dynasty#and Henry became a claimant only after being chosen by Yorkists after the October risings made clear the Princes were dead#the claim that challenged Richard's was Elizabeth of York not Henry's. let's not twist words here)#(ALSO I'm sorry but William Stanley certainly did not choose to commit his troops to Henry Tudor because Henry was 'his brother's stepson'#he did that out of loyalty to Edward IV and his children as Henry was the chosen claimant of the Yorkist faction#hence why he may have betrayed Henry VII in the 1490s for Perkin Warbeck who pretended to be Edward's second son. so jot that down)#you really see these small minor details which are very much chosen purposefully and paint a very different picture lol
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#remind me to never ask my mother for opinions on absolutely anything ever again#i only wanted to see which illustration should go on my portfolio for kidlit art#and her wonderful opinion was to take out an illustration of two dudes EATING TOGETHER because and i quote#"gay relationships are not suitable for children books. it simply isn't their target audience''#does she need the list of the thousand of books that are literally about gay couples or about gay kids?!#they're not even like overtly gay they are literally eating together!!! (sure it is actually gay cause it's fanart of a bl but whatever lol#it's literally two guys sitting at the same table eating...#how is that not appropriate for children?!#also even if they were gettin married or whatever... how's that inappropiate?!#ALSO also i'm sick of reading in every illustration agency how they're looking for artists and writers and whatever who tackle queer storie#like sure i'm not gonna say gay people don't experience discrimination but it's not the fucking 50s... there are opportunities out there#idk i'm just so fuckin upset right now because she's saying I'M the one that's taking it bad#like the whole ''i'm not homophobic but.... blah blah''#and it drives me up the fucking walls to have to deal with this when the only thing i wanted was to have a char about which drawing looks#the best for a professional portfolio lol#anyways now out of fucking spite i'm gonna send all the gay ones i have lol#dkfjhkdfg#angel talks#personal#wish me luck on this email btw i need work!#dfkjghdfg
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when i said that mha ripped off naruto (which i said only to piss off mha stans anyway) I didn't mean to sound like i was praising naruto. it was actually more like a sigh of disappointment, a reaction to seeing that all the problems that naruto had as a show transpired trough mha too and i was tired because watching naruto was enough for me but then i realized that my problem actually is that i can no longer stand watching shonen anime and i chose not to tire myself by cringing at the repetitive tropes and cliches anymore
#demon slayer falls under the same category sadly#actually it was more a combination of these 2 that made me realize that i had enough of this genre#me judging other shonen having as reference only naruto#but look! i watched both mha and demon slayer and my personal point was proven that i would get bored by them#(with the exception of some rare moments that were really good in mha but the bad and cringe moments made me forget abt them)#like i remember crying bcs this dude who trained deku died but then i remembered that a few episodes earlier he ''punished''#one of his female students by tying her up a ledge and tickling her with a feather :|#LIKE WHY DID YOU NEED TO PUT THAT IN THE STORY? HORIKOSHI OR WHATEVER THE MANGAKA'S NAME IS#WHY YOU FELT THE NEED TO ADD THAT IN???#and then you tried to make me feel sorry for the guy too?#that was such a jiraya death moment like they were playing it a sad but all i could think abt was ''rip bozo''#not saying that other anime don't have cringe moments. even moments that i had to skip because of how gruesome they were#but they sorta make sense in the big picture of the story? but other characters experience it too not just a category of people? idk#also it's funny how pissed mha stans get for having their show insulted like#when i tell ppl that my fave anime/manga are evangelion; black lagoon#and berserk they look at me like i deserve to be put in an electric chair#like they are right but at the same time i find it funny and i rly don't care#but these guys always go bananas if you insult their fav show as if you broke the geneva convention#i'd say that it's because the majority of the fans are children but i know for a fact that they are not 😭
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Working on my Burned my Wings epilogue (Dami POV) and I suddenly had a beautiful crack idea. Talia adopts Jason and Dami gets a big brother, right?
(In another universe thats not the BMW-verse): When Damian goes to Gotham, he gets two/three big brothers and 3 big sisters. Adoption is just how he obtains siblings. He was too little to have the birds and bees talk at the League, and the Bats see him as a baby (he is) so he never gets any Talk (even when he gets older. He is still Baby.)
Basically, he believes in the stork-- except the stork is adoption/your parent bringing home a random child and going "meet your new sibling".
Shenanigans of some sort ensue.
#If you use this (please use this) please tag me!#Batfam Shenanigans#Damian Wayne#This is also how he obtains his pets btw#He saw batcow and said “that one's mine now” and no one did anything about it except say “oh no he got Bruce's adoption gene”#What they forget is that it's fatal. Talia did the same thing to Jason. Its in both halves of his genes. this boy will be overrun by kids/p#He genuinely has no idea how children usually appear and is confused by the whole thing in general#“You mean you don't just see a kid on the street and take it home???”#“You mean you don't just see a Stray dog and bring it back home?? Why not?”#Someone talks about how they're getting a sibling in a couple months and they're ecxcited/bummed#Damian: you know *months* in advance? Oh you mean the official adoption paperwork *nodding*#Person he's talking to: ... dude this is my biological sibling...we're not adopting--my mom is pregnant...#Damian: ... what?#(Of course in this universe there's no “true/blood son” antics etc)
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An interlude. What now?
Happens between Empty Prayers and Dreams of Red.
Nemo tries to be serious and Think of the Future. It backfires.
Characters: Dark Urge (Nemo), Enver Gortash, Astarion, Karlach, Wyll, Shadowheart, Gale, Lae'zel.
TW: mentions of cannibalism, questionable way to raise children (Nemo wtf), canon-typical Durge behavior.
Info about Nemo's assassins:
https://www.tumblr.com/maegalkarven/732101148639707136/so-i-actually-created-most-of-the-notable?source=share
"You do realize we all are doomed, right?" The question comes out of nowhere amidst of one of the calmest nights they have. It breaks the feeble illusion of peace right away.
"Now, you don't have to put it like that," Gale tries. "We still have some choices-"
"Blowing yourself up is not a choice," Wyll cuts out, uncharacteristically sour.
"But-"
"No, Gale," Shadowheart agrees. "No more stupid self-sacrifices for the gods who do not deserve that. Besides, you remember what Gortash said? What if you have done as Mystra wanted you to and detonated the orb in the illithid colony, it would turn every parasite-infested person into mindflayer?"
"I'm not sure how much we can trust a word of the former Chosen of Bane."
"Fair," the former Chosen of Shar agrees. "I wouldn't trust him either. But something tells me this time he was telling the truth."
"He also sits just across you, if your memory is that fragile," Gortash comments. "And thank you, not like I was thinking of impending doom and our deaths for every hour of every day now."
"Not like you kickstarted this whole event," Karlach comments.
"And what would you have me to do, let Orin kill Nemo?"
"Well, you could have not tried to conquer the world using the extremely dangerous magical artifact and, you know, the Elder Brain."
"You keep saying that, but I have yet to hear a single idea how to fix it and for us, you know, not die drastically and like fools."
"Everyone always dies like a fool," Astarion comments. "Death is dumb like that."
"If you'd only let me finish," Nemo raises his voice. "And stopped this 'woe are us, we are doomed' crying-"
"We are listening," Wyll tries. "Oh, well, at least I am trying to."
Nemo sends him a grateful look.
"Alright, let's start it anew, you literal bickering children-"
"Hey-"
"Gortash started it-"
"Oh, fuck off-"
"Quiet," and surprisingly, they all quiet down. This is who Nemo is forced to work with these days. Unbelievable.
"We are screwed. This is not me being overly dramatic, this is not me being pessimistic, this is the actual truth we're dealing with. The Elder brain has one stone and if it wasn't breaking out of the hold before - which he was, very much - it's clearly out of it now. Now, the questions why it hasn't turned everyone into mindflayers and why it's playing laying low for now is a mystery, but-“
"It's luring us back to it," Astarion comments. "What? Can't we offer our thoughts too? I didn't know it's One Man show you're having here."
"You have no idea how many people have been stabbed over interrupting him mid speech," Gortash comments. "Me included."
"Oh yeah, well, maybe try to not talk over me, asho-"
"I wasn't talking over you-"
"Just like you aren't doing it now?" Nemo glares at him. "You're lucky I need you alive."
"Thank you oh so kindly, the gracious one-"
"Tsk'va," Lae'zel interrupts the quarrel. "You two desire to tear into each other’s flesh so much it makes you stupid. Go get the urges out of the system and come back when you're capable of being rational."
This comment, made with intention of calming things down, has rather the opposite effect.
"You're the one to talk," Nemo hisses as his face reddens.
"I do not ‘desire to tear into his flesh’," Gortash argues.
Astarion laughs.
"Yes, and I am not a vampire spawn."
"Can we not fight?" Wyll, an unfortunate voice of reason amidst this chaos.
"Oh, I don't know," Gale smirks. "I rather find it amusing to watch."
"You know what?" Nemo snaps. "Go on, detonate this orb. I'm done with it."
"Now I'm not going to, purposely because you asked me so nicely."
"I fucking hate this family."
"Karlach, you already said that."
"It doesn't mean I hate it any less."
"I miss my children," Nemo suddenly chimes in. "They listened to me."
"Your who?"
"Oh, please," Gortash snorts. "I once saw one of your children stab her brother over something minor."
"It was their brother and it was nothing minor. He took their target, that's just rude."
"I'm sorry," Gale tries. "Can we backtrack now? What children are you talking about now?"
Nemo blinks at them.
"Oh," he exclaims. "My assassins, of course, the ones I personally brought into the fold."
"And the reason you address them as children is because..?"
"They were orphans Nemo picked up from the streets," Gortash mentions. "At least that's what I was told."
"Excuse me, what?" Karlach, indignation flaring with her fire. "You stole children?"
"First of all, it's kidnapped and not stole. Second of all, they came willingly," Nemo scoffs. "And really, do you think they had any other choice? Do you think any good life was waiting for them? I saved their lives."
"You've abducted children into the cult and made them killers," Wyll speaks. "Nemo, this is-"
"Wrong?" He interrupts. "How wrong can it truly be? They would die without me, or better yet, get killed. Do you think there's mercy for a girl who took a life of her stepfather? Whose mother blamed her for the murder even if said stepfather was in dire need of killing?" He pierces Wyll with a sharp stare.
"Do you think Flaming Fists would save a little tiefling boy with too much magic in his blood? Do you think they'd get to the mad crowd in time and protect the boy from it? Do you think they'd even care? A tiefling child, an evil child, a hellspawn. No one would miss him, no one would cry for him. And," he smiles and this smile looks poisonous.
"Do you think your honorable father would spare a child whose survival was linked to the deal with the fiend? Do you think he, who exiled his own son, would look at destruction of the House Et'rris, at the only surviving its member, linked to a devil, and help them? Save them?" His voice drops to a low tone.
"How dare you judge me? You were not there to save these children, I was. What did I do but gave them a second chance? What did I do but gave them home? Where else would they go? Who else would feed starving orphans on the streets, Duke Ravengard?" He laughs an ugly, bitter laugh.
"The Council of Four? Don't be ridiculous, they never even looked down to see the low folk struggling. Those children, all those children would die if not for me. From the so-called justice, from an angry mob, from prison, from starvation. I found them, fed them, cared for them. I made them best of the best, the perfect murderers, the perfect shadows of the night. And who can hurt them now, when they're the worst things haunting Baldur's Gate? Who would dare to strike at them but their own? I made them strong."
The stunned, eerie silence falls over the camp.
Then Karlach raises her voice.
"What did you feed them with?"
"This is irrelevant."
"No, it's not."
"It was a good meat: not rotten, not touched by any diseases, I even cooked it-"
"I fed children the human flesh?!" Gale asks in horror.
"Of course you'd assume it was human," Nemo scoffs. "It was elven too, you know. Some dwarf meat, even halfling or tiefling there and there-"
"You did what?!"
"It was that or starving on the streets! And anyway, I was fed humanoid flesh my entire life and I turned out alright-"
Astarion scoots a little closer to Gortash.
"He did not turn out alright," the pale elf whispers, watching the argument rising to new, dangerous heights. "And you knew that, didn't you?"
"What Nemo eats flesh?" Gortash hums. "It wasn't a big secret."
"And what he feeds his...children the same?"
"It's a Cult of Murder," the man shrugs. "One expects some level of atrocities from it."
"That's not the answer."
"That's the one you'll get," Astarion watches Gortash watching Nemo, a small satisfies smile dancing on his lips. "I don't particularly care what he feeds his assassins, only what all of them seem to care very little for table manners."
"So I'm guessing you've met them?"
"Yes."
"...What are they like?"
"Why don't you ask their benefactor that and not the man who saw them once or twice?"
"Because their benefactor is currently in a screaming match with our companions," Astarion's shrugs. "Though he seems to be holding his ground just alright."
Gortash snorts.
"He used to lead fifty or so bloodthirsty murderers and made it look easy," another long, heavy look at Nemo. "He is good at handling people. Bhaal convinced Nemo the best thing a bhaalshapwn can be is a perfect blade, which is a shame, really. Nemo would do wonders in high court; he has enough charisma and intelligence to wrap the nobles around his fingers without them so much as noticing it.”
"It sounds like you admire him," Astarion comments, trying very hard not to feel slighted at that. Of course tyrant admires his nearest in dearest, it was to be expected. And anyway, doesn’t Nemo deserve to be admired?
But why does it sit so ill against his skin?
"Of course I admire him," the tyrant replies, not even looking away from the assassin. "He is brilliant. His part in our plans is not to be overlooked; everything came falling apart the moment Orin replaced him. Bhaal might have been content with a mad woman who could not control her urges, but our plan could not. She made a mess of things, ruined several of carefully constructed plans and hadn't even noticed. The amount of people I had to tadpole simply because Orin was acting unwise is-" he sighs. "Where Nemo would just waltz into the room, smile and bullshit his way through everything, Orin made things worse."
Astarion hums.
"I once saw Nemo convince an orthon to kill his minions, then his pet, then himself," he mentions. "So I can easily see him doing that."
"An orthon?" Gortash looks surprised. "Where in the Nine Hells did you find an orthon?"
"In a Gauntlet of Shar," Astarion shrugs. "He made an ill-fitted deal with Raphael and tried to get out of it. Nemo tricked him into false getaway."
Three's a long silence after that.
"Raphael," Gortash speaks slowly, as if tasting the words. "It's been a while since I've heard that name. How did you stumble into him?"
"More like he stumbled into us. He appeared from the thin air, laid heavy on those sweet talks of his and tried to talk Nemo into a deal. Probably still trying, all things considered. I am not sure what exactly he wants from Nemo, but he is insistent."
Gortash grows silent once more.
"I would advise against strikingly any deals with that particular devil," he comments after a pause. "Deals with him are even fouler than the deal with the devil would be expected to be. Raphael is clever; he is patient and knows how to play the game. Worst of all, he is at advantage of knowing Nemo while Nemo does not know him, and in the position where he is holding a grudge against the dear assassin of mine."
Astarion bites down the bitter taste of the way Gortash claims Nemo as his.
This can wait. His questions would not.
"Why would he hold a grudge against Nemo?"
Gortash actually laughs, a short lived and curt sound, but laugh none less.
"Because Nemo has done something Raphael failed to do. Raphael has been lusting after the Crown of Karsus for millennia, but was never able to relieve it from Mephistopheles' vault. Together Nemo and I successfully orchestrated and executed the plan what brought the crown into our hands."
So this is what Raphael wants.
"He is after the crown," Astarion comment. "And he thinks Nemo will be able to get it for him."
Gortash nods.
"And I can't express enough how this is absolutely a thing what cannot happen. Raphael is bad enough without a otherworldly power what is the Crown of Karsus in his claws."
"So," Astarion studies the man closely. "Better the crown in your hands then?"
Gortash smiles.
"Providing what we can get it off Elder Brain first and live," he comments. "But yes."
#empty prayers au#dark urge: nemo#bg3#dark urge x gortash#gortash x durge#lae'zel really said: you want to fuck each other so bad it makes you look stupid#it is like 1 line she has bc I have hard time writing her but isn't she valid for it#nemo is petty bitch but also OKAY-ish stepparent of turned out OKAY-ish 8 children. don't judge him he did his best#what's a lil cannibalism in the family#nemo saying: 'i was fed flesh and turned out alright' the same way ppl say 'i was beat up and turned out alright' like sweetheart. baby#you didn't turn alright#you're so not alright it's tragic#girl who killed stepdad is clotilda#the tiefling boy is vivias#he's also the brother some assassin stabs#i wrote 'brother' and then realized vivias is the only boy nemo adopted so#sorry bby#the assassin stabbing him over a kill is writt#they're a bitch and I love them so much#gortash not mentioning a thing about maybe knowing raphael...dude I see what you're doing#also everyone desires the crown of Karsus...EVERYONE#Gortash's new goal is to get crown of Karsus for himself now ESP after he found out Raphael is trying to talk Nemo into giving it away#shadowheart who probably ate humanoid flesh several times in the course of her life bc it's shar's thing too: *is suspiciously quiet*#astarion: nemo talked an othon into killing all his allies and then himself#gortash: nice!
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The Hokage sensei — Future Hokage student pipeline goes like this:
⠀
(1) HASHIRAMA — (2) TOBIRAMA
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ |
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ (3) HIRUZEN⠀⠀⠀* ( FUCK DANZO )
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀¦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ |
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Jiraiya⠀⠀(5) TSUNADE
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀|
⠀⠀⠀(4) MINATO
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀|
⠀⠀⠀(6) KAKASHI
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀|
⠀⠀⠀(7) NARUTO⠀ ( Shadow Hokage Sasuke )
⠀
Conclusion: if you're not the student of a Hokage, you won't become a Hokage. Unless you are a brother or like a brother to the current Hokage, in which case there's some possibility.
#Shout out to Tsunade for being her own branch#Honestly wish there were more Senju children#Idk dude the Senjus are one of the best parts of Naruto I swear#The count goes: 3 Senjus 2 Uzumakis 1 Sarutobi and 1 Hatake#Kakashi you will always be famous for this idk why I found you as a Hokage so funny#Adopting actually got you a political promotion#Anyway#If Konohamaru becomes Hokage and the. Sarada I'd keep the line going flawlessly#It'd also raise Tobirama from the death again because an Uchiha finally became Hokage#I don't think the argument of Sakura being practically Tsunade's daughter and therefore an almost adopted Senju would calm Tobirama#There's actually no safe option between Mitzuki (Orochimaru's son) Boruto (Sasuke Uchiha worshiper and student) and Sarada Uchiha herself#Himawari for Hokage Tobirama says#Omg the huygas would never shut up about it#This rant is so looong byyyye#naruto#Hokages#Konoha#Naruto hokages#hashirama senju#Tobirama senju#hiruzen sarutobi#minato namizake#tsunade senju#kakashi hatake#Naruto Uzumaki
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Y’know I kinda wanna elaborate on the HC I mentioned, where I said that if Donald hadn’t found out what Douglas was doing and intervened, Douglas would’ve eventually cracked and fessed up
Mostly I wanna elaborate that he wouldn’t have fessed up because of ethical guilt (though I do think he may have something somewhere inside him that would give a damn about ethics. He did seem pretty excited to do good things after all) but more because he’s got the emotional strength of a wet tissue and would feel personal guilt after getting so attached
I’m gonna put most of it under a cut ‘cause it turned into a full on Douglas study I guess
Like... obviously I’m prefacing this with it being my own interpretation of the guy, but Douglas was a pretty emotional dude in the show. His entire redemption was rooted in his emotional attachment to his family. His morals never 100% improved, and the growth we did see was almost entirely motivated by “My family won’t like me if I’m a bad guy :(”
And while he’s not a particularly GOOD dad, he is a dad. Literally every kid Douglas gets more than 2 minutes of screen time with, he goes into some kind of Dad Mode
So, the way I see it, I don’t think Douglas would’ve lasted if he got to keep the Rats for longer than he did. It’s never actually said how old the kids were when Donald found out, but they couldn’t have been older than like... 3? Tops? Possibly even younger, technically. If Douglas actually got to watch those kids grow up in whatever messed up environment he had them in to keep them hidden (Which, I’ll be honest- based on comparing the brothers’ lab quality, was probably a worse environment than Donald’s lab) I don’t think he would’ve been able to commit. Not with the original trio, anyway
ALSO. I wanna bring up Donald, ‘cause he’s also a factor in of himself
Yeah, the brothers fight a lot, and did fight a lot. But I think it’s worth remembering that despite that, these two founded a company together. They invented things together. They work together seamlessly when they get in the zone. Douglas, despite all the animosity, was ecstatic at the prospect of getting to work alongside his brother again, and was genuinely sad when Donald didn’t feel the same, but chose not to fight Donald’s decision
Douglas cares what Donald thinks of him, and I bet he cared a lot more before Donald discovered what was happening and made his own judgement call. The two of them had to have been incredibly close, and that probably would’ve weighed on Douglas, too
But Donald found out on his own, and he didn’t waste time. He saw the children, he saw the conditions, the plans, the schematics. There was absolutely no way to rationalize what was happening here, Donald had to get these kids out and away. His little brother was using their assets to make deals with terrorists regarding the creation of bioweapons in the form of children
And Douglas was left ghosted by the most consistent presence in his life for the past 20+ years, locked out of the company he helped build from nothing, and separated from these kids who have also been a consistent presence in his life for entirely different reasons
And Douglas is notorious for deflecting and pushing back when someone else decides that he’s in the wrong. All that potential turmoil means the time between Donald finding out and Douglas “dying” was probably like. Intense. To put it mildly
All this to say: Douglas is still a DICK lmao and the point of this post is NOT to be like “Douglas deserved better” or even “Donald is to blame.” It’s more about how Douglas is a notably emotion-driven character and how it affects his dynamics and actions, both positive and negative
It’s also my favorite kind of angst- where technically, things could have turned out okay, or at least better than they did, if everyone involved hadn’t been such a mess
#Lab Rats#Douglas Davenport#I'm only tagging Douglas 'cause he's the focal point but Donald does get a fair bit here#Anyway Douglas fascinates me 'cause like. I definitely don't want him or his actions to be underplayed#Like it really doesn't matter if he wouldn't have gone through with it. Especially not at the time everything happened#The fact that he got as far as he did is damning enough#But also he is SO pitiful and his emotional reliance on others is interesting#Especially in contrast to how nonchalant he tends to act#He's perfect for exploring how consequences effect someone#Which is why I draw him with such tired eyes and like to write him being Fucking Miserable#And I'll say it. Dude was a SOFTIE in the actual show#Seriously- in no particular order:#He made Chase some good soup. He went above and beyond to save Leo's arm. He gave every Rat a new ability for various reasons#He stood up for various kids on numerous occasions. He cried when Leo became an instructor#He saved a stray dog. He put a kid up for adoption to keep him safe.#He encouraged his robot son's passion for drama club. He actively helped Donald with the indestructible car#Look me in the eye. Make direct eye contact with me and tell me#That this man could raise 3 flesh and blood children from infancy#And simply pawn them off as disposable weaponry#You cannot convince me. Douglas Davenport is too pathetic to commit to that bit#He's willing to kill a kid but that goes out the fucking window if he spends more than 1 non-hostile hour with said kid#He acts like he hates his brother's guts but will literally drop it the minute Donald's nice to him in any capacity#... See now I went and wrote TWO essays#Kill me
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On the one hand, if Marquis Yan hadn't been such a deadbeat Jiujiu then maybe Prince Yu would have been a better candidate for Emperor. On the other hand we saw what being a good candidate for Emperor with a powerful and involved uncle did for Prince Qi, so possibly Marquis Yan actually prolonged Prince Yu's life and saved his kid.
#seriously Yan Que is so lucky in Yujin#he left that baby alone with xie yu!#(and coparents)#I'd say that's worse than leaving a kid along with the empress and emperor but xie yu actually has a perfect childrearing record#that's what three excellent coparents will do for you#you can be Xie Yu and still go three for three on lovely children#i mean I know that we don't actually know how Yan Que ended up estranged from his sister and how much access he'd have had to prince yue if#he'd tried but consider she is lonely and isolated and really wants support for her son!#and she was sixteen when she married into the palace! and he calls her a disgrace just for being slightly evil#like are his sister and her kid exactly his responsibility? no. am I being unfair? yes. but damn dude!!! you give up on literally everyone#but he's so dismissive of them and also so absent in Yujin's life it's not hard for me to be like well MAYBE#if you'd bothered to contribute you'd actually have some influence here >:(#nif for block
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tbh if I see one more post that talks about the shit happening to women and children in x part of the world I'm going to lose my fucking mind
PEOPLE
the men in these places are not magically being not hurt
you do not need to exclude them to make your cause more sympathetic
I could rant for hours about the 'women and children' literary device holy shit- the way it means 'noncombants', the way it merges two groups with different vulnerabilities into one etc
#this post is mainly bc of the article I saw that was like: 75% of Palestinians hurt in blast women and children#DUDE#considering about half of Gaza's population is children#then roughly 25% of the adults would indeed be women#that is in fact 75% of their population#star says#rant#i don't know if this makes sense#like if I'm getting the point I'm trying to make across#but the 'women and children' thing pisses me off SO MUCH#like yes these are groups with unique vulnerabilities#but they a) are not one group b) do not have the same vulnerabilities c) are not magically more worthy or needing of the kind of protectio#you're talking about then the men also facing those issues#feminism#I guess?
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"disappointment" is when you show a drawing of the main male character of the book you're writing to your mother and she says he's "kinda ugly" as if he had the responsability of being handsome for being the Main Male Character (tm)
#mom it's Tadeu we're talking about#after everything i told you about Tadeu do you really think he'd be Tipically Handsome (tm)?#also this is weird bc some people might actually think he's attractive bc beauty is relative#i personally don't imagine him as a dude i'd simp for#even then what if my book gets a series (lol) and the actor who plays him is handsome while still being perfect for he role??? what if???#actually if you look at his board on my pinterest you will see the dudes i put there that remind me of him#are actually very cute in my view and they still look like Tadeu even if Tadeu's not “that cute” for me#so who knows dude??? what even is beauty??? why do people need to be “beautiful”????#i think my mom forgot who's her child lmao#i LOVE taking everything that society made typical and popular and putting my own twist on it#and funnily she knows about this#like come on it's a book about time travel and no one time travels on it lol#the main character is a girl that has a boy best friend and they don't fall in love with each other#the old lady who serves as a mentor in a literary sense is actually an angry bitch and not your typical Wise Mentor (tm) like Gandalf#while other books' mentors are saying philosofical shit about life the mentor of my book is holding herself to punch the charas on the face#but really why do people need to be beautiful? can't we just BE people???#also just bc i like men that doesn't mean all my male characters are supposed to be attractive to me#to me my characters are my children not my boyfriends#UUUUUGH MOM WHY MOM#I'M SO ANGRY LOL RESPECT MY SON TADEU HE DESERVES THE WORLD#LEAVE HIM AND HIS UGLY HAIRSTYLE IN PEACE#tio morcego tá pistola
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15 Questions, 15 (or whatever) Tags
I was tagged by @kikiroo - thank you!! *heart hug!*
1. Were you named after anybody?
Nope.
2. When was the last time you cried?
Um, I cannot stress enough that I cry at the drop of a hat in fictional situations (pretty much never in real life) so it was either Ted Lasso or reading The Celebrants by Steven Rowley, or it could’ve been The Emperor’s Bone Palace by Hailey Turner - I just finished that. I can’t remember if I did or not, but I was so stressed out, I probably did, things went poorly for a bit there and I was a wreck.
3. Do you have kids?
I do not and have no plans to. I’ve never wavered on that, I’ve always been very ‘who knows, could change,’ about it but so far: nah. And I feel like if I had ever wavered, my sister having two pandemic babies and me being her entire village (I am the only relative who lives in the same state. And the people who are best at babies do not live in the same country.) has nudged me more firmly towards: that’s really not for you, broh. I love them to death but I am so glad I get breaks where I just get to be a selfish monster for seventy-two hours straight.
4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Neever.
5. What sports do you play/have you played?
I played soccer for maybe a few weeks in middle school and then I was like: this is just running, and running is so much worse than sitting, was everyone aware of that? I’ll be on the bench if you need me. *throws up a peace sign* Though I did just tell my sister that I would absolutely fucking kill at basketball against K-1st graders and I stand by that.
6. What’s the first thing you notice about someone?
Sense of humor. Honestly, I don’t know if it’s an ace thing or not, but I can’t even describe people beyond: heightish and hairish until you interest me as a person, which is usually because you make me laugh. It’s kind of embarrassing sometimes because I really do not notice, and sometimes I’ll be asked to describe someone I’ve been in the vicinity of for, like, two months and I’m like: I genuinely cannot tell you a single thing about this person, I’m so sorry. I just don’t track details. That’s why I try really hard with names. I can’t tell you what they look like in any detail (do they wear glasses? Have freckles? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ), but I can tell you their name. And sometimes that can feel like a superpower tbqh, because you know who people come to find out the new person’s name: moi.
7. Eye color?
Blue.
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
Oh scary movies, hands down. They’re my favoritest things. I regularly have them on as background noise.
9. Any special talents?
If I do have them, they’re a secret even to me. I like to have that Kathleen Madigan mindset about it: “What if we’re all prodigies, but it’s just at something we’ve never tried yet? ... What if I sat down at a pottery wheel and made a cup and people were like: Holy Christ, lady, that is the most phenomenal cup ever made.” It could happen!
10. Where were you born?
St. Pete, Florida.
11. What are your hobbies?
Writing, reading, tending to an imaginary beluga whale that lives in my nephew’s bathtub, creating to do lists over and over again that I have no intention of ever completing, and playing Pokemon Go. There’s a girl at my work and we were the two nerds who were really into it, we would get together, do the fests and the raids and community days and such. We have now converted half our workplace into either reactivating their accounts or creating them and there are now at least two more people who are just as - if not more - into it than we are. (Like, they had to make a Pokemon Go policy because of us spreading it like a virus, lololol.)
12. Do you have any pets?
I have a doggo that I accidentally made obsessed with me and super introverted. You know how they say owners start to resemble their dogs? Nope. I broke her and now we like to stay in, are wary of strangers, and essentially try to occupy the same space at all times - I blame COVID, honestly, we were both way more normal before that. Or she was, anyway. The good news is I can let her off leash ‘cause she’s going precisely zero places without me.
13. How tall are you?
5’
14. Favorite subject in school?
English in high school, Evolutionary Psychology in college.
15. Dream job?
I hate to say it but: I do not dream of labor. Anything I’m passionate about doing, I would immediately tarnish by needing it to now be the source of my livelihood. It would lose all its joy because I would put immense pressure on it.
Though if I could somehow make bank through sleeping? Yeah, that.
I don’t know who to tag because I feel like I’ve seen everyone do this on my dash so: um, whoever hasn’t done it yet and wants to - consider this me tagging you!
#meme answers#meme#if you've ever met me you're probably like 'how are YOU your sister's whole village??!' and like YEAH#i don't know what my sister's doing here tbh#she HATES cold weather but she wanted to leave dc and was like: where are you moving and i was like:#washington in six months and she was like: cool i'll go check it out with my boyfriend on a road trip#and then she got pregnant on the road trip and now they're married and live here lol#this is nOT where they want to be - either one of them#they want hot hot hot weather#(which i despise - my sister's trying to come up w a compromise state and i'm like: *gently* those are opposites my love)#they want to be in florida but i was like: dude you gotta homeschool if you go there#and my sister's already like: i don't like the american scool system in general so you're not wrong#and the draw there is my parents who...... do not like children and are not that interested lol#HIS parents are but they live in occupied palestine soooooo ???? THOSE are the options lol#(occupied palestine is winning just on florida politics alone ???)#not to say i don't ADORE them being here and wouldn't miss them like crazy if they left#but i do wish their bench were deeper than me bc i am already laying down and reading a book on there
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