#THERES SO MUCH TO DISCUSS IT NEVER ENDS

[roylustang]

As always, this chapter is gonna be long af

[sleepymccoy]

This feels like a secret but I'm telling you

I've always been a spones girly (and I still am, I love their arguments) but mckirk week is strong on the dash so I tried my hand at it last night and ooh! Jim is a fun pov to write! Knocked out 3k before it even got romantic (the desire is filtered throughout, I'm not writing platonic w a twist ending. He has a crush).

Hope I can finish tonight or tomorrow morning and post still within the week, but even if it's late I know I'm mutual w a few diehard mckirkers so just giving you a heads up ily ❤️

[dxxtruction]

Louis' "You're boring!" Could mean so many things, but I think what's most apparent about that line is that Armand takes no initiative just for himself. He's not really anybody, because he never goes out and finds himself or gets attached to anyone but Louis. Without Louis as his guide he's literally just sitting on a couch picking lint! That's the thing.

He orbits constantly around what would make Louis happy, and never really fully going what would make me happy? Ultimately that drive to please Louis is what drives him to torturing Daniel, not so much that he'd care to just do it. Ultimately, not giving proper care to Louis is just a way to make sure Louis knows he has to orbit around him as well, with shoving Lestat onto him just that other nail on the coffin. So, even if he fails to figure out how to make Louis happy with him, he still knows what Armand is good for, and better than.

That dependency is what drives Armand's abuse. It really just comes down to that. Armand doesn't even realize how suffocated he is by his own dependency. This is just how life is to him. (It shouldn't be lost either that dependency is a theme considering this episode also deals with addiction).

Daniel's fascinating because he's just so driven to be somebody. He's largely independent, he seeks things because he wants them. It's his drug to poke and prod at all the things that he shouldn't. Daniel's exciting because he lets Louis in to something different, lets him in to all this potential in another person that he can also do the same with for himself. It's a real connection. A two way street. It's easy to tell how Armand can be smothering then because he's never introducing him to anything really new, and most the ways both of them connect are all painful and traumatic. It's never just fun because there's always that layer of that pain. Fun died with Claudia.

50 years on they've gotten to a lot better place, both of them, but it's still that same shit. No seriously, "How is this any different from last time, Louis?"

Well... Because Armand's going to be, at the very least, making one [1] decision only for himself - and that's to hold power over Daniel's life. Fucking sick foreshadowing.

They aren't driving each other to the brink anymore but "The vampire is bored" STILL. Maybe it's even worse, despite being in better places, because Louis' sort of just been defeated by it. (I mean, can he even really leave this either?). He's accepting the dependancy cause he kind of has to. He'd literally ended up letting all the enjoyment be up where he can't reach [The book shelves]. Armand so desperately wants Louis happiness but what really ends up happening is that Louis ends up having to give Armand all his own. He's got no one or anything else to get it from. But like an iPad and an over the top eating ritual. Two extremes of what's just more lint picking.

This whole relationship is one I find just tragic inside and out. You have to just pity it, really. There's ways in which you can find yourself feeling bad for both of them. But you can only really be mad at Armand for any of it. Armand, who isn't even 'free' in any sense, having so little concept of his own independence, but is at the same time so controlling over other's. It's a tragic cycle. It's an infuriating one.

Louis at least has the mind to know when enough is enough. If just needing that extra push to get there. Armand's too scared of it being over to even try.

[ellariasand]

i’d get cannibalized on twitter for this opinion so i’m leaving it here, but lord if the rest of the season didn’t fully put me off this new era of doctor who, then rtd purposefully shoving eight in a dark dusty corner in favor of canonizing a random eu doctor no one knows and prioritizing war again really did it in

[strwberri-milk]

Hiii, big fan of your work 💗 and also big fan of lads. However as much as I love these guys, in rl my (man-hating) lesbian ass wouldn’t even spare these guys a glance. So I was wondering if you don���t mind writing something about Rafayel, Sylus and Zayne with a mc that isn’t into men. For example they finally found her after all these years only to find out that they’re never gonna have a chance with mc. Would they distance themselves or would they still stick around as her friend? I like to image them finding out by mc introducing them to her wife. How would he act towards mc wife? Would he be jealous?

Anyway, I LOVE your work 💕 I stalk your account daily, it’s one of my favorite things to do. Please take care and have a good day/night! ly 🫶🌸

hihi!! i was gonna do a more formal post for this but i wanted to tackle it more as a discussion if thats okay?? bc i cant really format it more formally but like okay - also, i can direct you here if you'd like a bit more! honestly, this is pretty much the same thing but slightly different bc theres no werid almost dating thing happening bc you dont like men

Zayne would definitely be able to be your friend. His whole thing is trying not to love you/this man literally said "I hope we will never meet again" or something along those lines. It hurts a lot, especially when he sees how happy you are with your partner but he'll also just try to suppress all of his feelings. Ultimately, at the end of the day he's happy for you. That's all he wants - your happiness.

Sylus doesn't really contact you but he does keep an eye on you. When he realises he has absolutely no chance he'll just leave things be. I don't think you'd ever actually meet him because when he sees that you're in a committed relationship/married and have no attraction to men he'd just leave it be.

Rafayel would have figured it out through his own research as well. A part of him really wants to see if the bond you two share would override your love for your partner and would be willing to test the waters, unlike Sylus. He'd have a chance encounter with you, then monitor how you react to it afterwards. When he sees nothing's changed he's just going to stay away from you as well, not wanting to be in your life if he can't hold you the way your partner does.

[bulbabutt]

okay. lets bite the bullet and talk about 2012. lets talk about child abuse, familial abuse, generational abuse, toxic family units, whatever you wanna call it. lets talk about it and whether it exists in this show. i actually encourage you to read this no matter what your take is, just to hear it out. let me be FUCKING clear: i love this show, but i get scared to talk about it seriously. everyone on every side is defensive all the time but i love every turtles show to no end.

this post is going to go over so well and not controversially at all.

precursor: every splinter is some level of shitty dad. he always has been. the fucking bare bones of the character is that he raised his children to kill the man who killed his own father. thats inherently fucked up. every splinter has some level of fucked up about him. maybe hes inattentive, or neglectful, or strict, or secretive, maybe hes just not very good at dealing with his kids. splinter is supposed to be far from perfect. thats what makes him splinter. maybe he grows over the course of a series, maybe he doesnt. maybe hes supposed to be shitty his whole life, maybe hes not. thats just splinter. each is adapted differently depending on the story being told.

and 2012 has a very interesting tone to its story.

lets start at the beginning, back in japan. this is season 3, was this story what they intended when they started writing the show back in season 1? probably not, theres probably things they would have written differently had they known this was where splinter's story started. thats kind of the way tv works, you add the details later. but for our sake of analyzing the character of splinter as a whole, it seems best to start here as if its all intentional.

hamato yoshi is a member of the hamato clan. theyre a very traditional old ninja clan in the modern world, they have old feuds and theyre trying to keep their culture alive. they're literally the last of a clan of ninjas like this, having (supposedly) defeated the foot clan (their generational enemies) back when yoshi was a baby. hes set out to lead next, and its very important to him. and yet hes married to a woman who works in the city, a modern woman who doesnt live the life he does. she even moved to be with him. i feel the need to compare this to how men in the real world who want traditional wives never go for women who are willing to be their housewives, always try to break down the independent ones. splinter seems unconcerned with how his wife wants to live. with how she wants their daughter to be raised.

im not necessarily saying this is how this comes off in the show, but i find it interesting to think about. this is absolutely the most rounded version of tang shen as a character (thus far) it stops her being just a name on a page "hamato yoshi's love and the object of his enemies affections who died" and turns her into a woman who has a stake in the story. gives her more agency.

its very interesting that this show implies an actual relationship between tang shen and oroku saki, albeit a one-sided one that didnt work out, but they do seem to have parted on equal ground. the pair of them discuss yoshi's inattentive duties as a husband and father, that he's too obsessed with the tradition and lineage of his clan. honestly, if this woman just took her baby and left no one would blame her! he has his priorities set, and it leaves no room for her and their newborn baby. if she ran away with saki at this point, the story would make just as much sense.

but then disaster strikes, saki learns the truth about his family, that he was actually a child of the foot clan (honestly i wish we saw this play out instead of jumping ahead in the story but thats not what this post is about) and he kills he and yoshi's father. revenge for him having killed his. cycles of abuse and revenge that never end. the pair of them were raised in this society that values lineage like this, that would kill for it. its no wonder they both grew up this way.

anyway, tang shen is killed by a blow meant for yoshi, and saki takes their child and raises her. based on splinter's lack of desire to be a father so far in the story, its honestly not one you can blame him for. its fucked up, but it makes sense. saki does to miwa exactly what his father did to him. cycles of abuse and revenge.

yoshi loses everything, and moves to america. he's turned into splinter the mutant rat, and gains four turtle sons.

so as established, he's not exactly grown up with a stable family life. he obviously, while human, wasnt acting as a stable father for the child he intended to have. so how good is he at this?

ive talked before about how the 2003 show treats the turtles as kind of one whole unit. they don't have individual relationship arcs, they dont have overarching storylines where they grow apart or closer, they're always in each other's corner.

2012 makes this more dynamic. here we see that 15 years seeing no one but each other, growing under this splinter has come with its own quirks. these brothers dont understand each other that well. they get jealous of each others treatment, some are left out, some are misunderstood. raph resents leo, none of them appreciate what donnie does, mikey bothers everyone else for attention, etc. it creates a really good starting place for this show.

(the issue i have with this show is more that they never really open or close any of these beats, at least not in ways that last. but boy does it make for some good dramatic scenes)

we see over the course of this first season that splinter treats his children just as he was, as little ninjas more so than sons. he raises them to follow his traditions, the ones tang shen never cared for. but this is all he knows how to be! you cant really blame him.

most people bring up mikey as the quintessential example when they talk about this, i dont want to do that cuz i know you've all heard it. while i think his father does disrespect him and i think it is paid forward and his brothers do too, i'd rather talk about raph for a change.

in one episode, raph loses his temper. to teach him a lesson, splinter makes his brothers pelt him in training while insulting him any way they can, and tells him to just... not lose his temper. this is a terrible lesson in general. instead of trying to coax out why he might be angry, it just plays up that if he loses his temper bad things happen.

splinter in this episode basically encourages bullying. this comes up a lot when it comes to raph. to compare, in 2003 when raph loses his temper, hes told to blow off steam which he does. his brothers don't blame him for having emotional outbursts, they know thats just how he is so they know how he needs to cope with it. he's given the physical space to let it out.

im not saying this show needs to be like that show, im just saying thats a version of this story where the outcome is better for raph as a whole. since this outcome is not as good for him emotionally, you can tell why he's still got these emotional issues. splinter never helps him more than that. thats more why this raph differs from that one, if that makes sense. one has his family in his corner more than the other.

speaking of. raph has a pet turtle. this turtle is the only one he can talk to about how he feels. why might that be? it's the only thing hes kind and gentle to, and he refuses to let his brothers make him feel weak for being kind to it. where did he learn to be ashamed of being kind and gentle? thats a learned behaviour. in a house full of other men... yeah, that would happen. but whos values start that?

when this turtle gets some mutagen spilled on it, it tries to get revenge on his family. there is such a resentment going on here, its extremely juicy. the show chalks this up to "post mutation insanity", but its just as easy to think that everything raph has experienced has made him seem angry and resentful and perhaps scared to his pet, and that former pet wants raph to himself so they can be free. the frustrated venting of a child complaining about how no one understands him in such a big way turns slash into a vengeful monster, cuz thats all he's ever heard. it makes sense, he went from a little turtle to a fully cognizant adult aged being in an instant. emotionally no one would handle that well, and definitely not someone whos only ever heard the worst about people.

he comes around later. notably by being on his own, away from the hamatos.

again, im not saying the show is writing this intentionally, but i think tonally its in the zone where you could see this analysis as being canon. that these little pieces of narrative fit the worldview of a toxic family unit that isnt dealing with its problems in a healthy way.

there's other small aspects. leo slaps mikey early on, having seen it on his favourite show be used as a way of getting someone to calm down. mikey questions this behaviour, leo seems to feel bad about it when questioned. if we know that that behaviour was bad, what other things might he emulate in a similar way?

there's things like donnie's predatory behaviour towards april. in a world where all they ever knew was splinter's stories of the outside world (and perhaps television from decades earlier), hearing splinter's story of his love for tang shen, his rivalry with his own brother over her, you could actually see why he would behave the way he does, why he claims her the way he does. not as an excuse, but as a reason he learned the behaviour. and there's multiple opportunities for his father to tell him off. he never does. why would he? he knows no better.

this splinter, unlike every other, is not old or disabled. he doesnt require a cane (at the start, but also was never a good cane) and its interesting that despite being like... a 40 year old man in the peak of his life he does not accompany his sons on missions. he sits around doing nothing and disproves of his sons heroic actions. april literally calls him out for this at one point. the show is actually telling us some of this man's behaviour is wrong.

one of the more upsetting things that happens in this household is a lot of physical hitting. "theyre training" you might say. understandable. but when you see a lot of hitting come from the father in this show, played for a laugh, when you see splinter play the "drunk master" bit it makes you think. is that okay? isnt that a bit much?

the end of the muckman episode is a freeze frame of splinter (after having knocked out all of his sons to punish them for leaving while grounded) turning his anger on april and her running away. idk thats just not funny to me. this is a bit of the dating of the show, 2012 was a time where character's in shows were meaner, less affectionate, more bullying in nature. that was the sense of humour at the time. that isnt me making a judgment, it's just kind of the era. a pre steven universe world, if that makes sense. so many of the jokes that end in a hit aren't funny in 2024. especially not when they come from a parent.

when this splinter speaks about his kids to their brothers he often ends up insulting them. "you should be like mikey, he never overthinks because he doesn't think", this would be a big reason the boys speak about each other the way they do to their faces. puts forward a bit more of that bullying thing i mentioned earlier. if their own father talks about them like this, of course their brothers do too. so of course they join in and give payback.

again. splinter wasnt raised in a normal family. he was raised in a ninja commune with a bunch of murderers. he wasn't great with his wife and baby daughter. its not surprising that he's bad at this.

so, ive just said a bunch of things about what's wrong with this household as a whole. i think ive explained why the family unit behaves the way it does: generational teachings of feuds and traditional values. i dont think this makes the show bad! i, in fact, wish there was more of it. i think theres so much low hanging fruit that the show kind of wants to play with, but cant fully bring itself to.

specific example: during the space arc on a planet thats driving all the characters emotions against each other we get this amazing scene where raph screams at leo for being splinter's favourite. leo responds by hugging him. its really well done!

however its never brought up again, never actually getting into the nitty gritty of why raph feels like that is exactly what i think makes this show resonate with so many people

its dark! it pulls at your heart strings! it makes people feel seen! we go in mikey's head at one point and see such splintered (lol) personalities in his head. he has a huge anger problem (much like raph) in there. he retreats into imagination land when stressed. the show kind of toys with "these kids are fucked up!" but never lets those character moments go anywhere. i love how fucked up this family is. its so complex, it feels real. at least real to me. i wish it went that little step further and let the characters talk about these things a little more.

maybe you have a different experience, and thats fine! but i wouldnt brush off people like me who look at 2012 and say "these dynamics make me uncomfortable". to excuse it by saying "my family is like that and we're fine" sometimes i just wanna say... <:/ are you? have you talked about that? and if that's your read on it is that its fine, thats great. but some people notice patterns and those patterns can make them uncomfortable. i hope ive explained the patterns here.

i think thats why the fandom is as big as it is. this show would lead to the most amazing deep introspective fan-works youve ever seen, it lays the pieces out so perfectly for you to draw your own conclusions about why they are this way. you cant really blame people for talking about it as if its got a way higher rating than it does. it feels like it does.

i should say, i dont even know if i blame the show on its own for leaving those pieces laying there, it was on nickelodeon. i sense studio meddling in the tone. i mean, given that the show wanted to end with the big mutant apocalypse storyline, and yet the network wanted to end it with the big 87 crossover..... yeah i think its safe to say nick would rather they keep it light.

which is funny, because i think the most controversial thing i can say is i personally love the finale arc as the mutant apocalypse. it so encapsulates my favorite part of this show. to end this show in the darkest timeline and say "even though these characters are so far removed from who they used to be and even though the entire world is over they still have each other in the end" and i find that so perfect.

so. i understand that this is always a touchy topic. i know people want to brush it off as "people say the 12 brothers are abusive to mikey but mikey is fine", and i think thats a really skewed version of it from both sides. first of all. mikey is not fine, look in that boys head. look how he copes. he's not. but also, mikey is not the only victim. they all are. these turtles are victims of their upbringing, victims of generational war. of men who didnt know how to be good fathers in the first place. and thats good writing! it feels deep! it connects!

for more context: any fucked up way you can think of karai being raised by shredder? its probably the same way here. splinter and shredder were raised the same way.

i guess i think about this a lot, cuz i always see things like "oh, rise fans write crossovers where the rise boys love each other and have to teach the 12 boys how to be nice cuz they dont like 2012!" and i just think to myself:

guys. do you understand why a person might do that? why would someone (likely a teenager) want 2012 mikey to be treated nicely by a kinder more openly affectionate version of his own family? do i need to spell that out for you? why do we connect with media at all, why do we write our own stories about it?

if you genuinely dont. i mean, im glad for you. but sometimes you wanna imagine a world in which your own family is more openly affectionate with you. where they hug and tell you theyre proud and love you and you never have to question it, never have to look elsewhere for that kind of approval. its less that they're idolizing rise, and more that they're looking at the two families and saying "this one is emotionally mature and in touch with their feelings more than that one. how would that play out?"

doctor feelings ass response.

look, im not saying everyone understands 2012, that everyone likes or needs to like it. im just trying to say that i think these fucked up parts of 2012 are all around my favourite parts of the show. its an inspiring story about this fucked up little family that has no one but each other, and they're not great about it. they try, but they don't always get it right. i just wish the show would have talked about that part more. but i think that since it doesnt people get to fill in those blanks themselves, and they do it so beautifully. and i really wish people on the internet would be more kind to one another when they wanted to discuss these darker themes they find in it.

these are the reasons i love this show. i think its so very interesting that splinter dies this fucked up father figure who never really apologized for his behaviour. i like that raph needs to be held to stop punching his brothers. that leo doesnt have a good grip on what it is to be a leader, that he tries bad ways of doing it. i like that no one copes well! i like that their relationships are so complex! this show is messy! its good! i wish it was more messy!

and id love if we could be more honest about these things and how they make us feel instead of just brushing each other off as "likes the show" or "doesnt like the show". the things that make me uncomfortable are why i love this show and i'm pretty sure i'm not alone there.

[comet-forgot-you]

r student and professor sam carpenter pls i count on u 🙏🏻

this entire thing was one long experiment bc ive never read or written strap sucking yall.. i wanted to test it out..

smut. 18+ pls.

you thought you were more discreet with your little crush on your professor. you thought she didnt notice the way you stared at her the entire class, you thought she didnt notice the way you seemed to tense when she approached you, the way your cheeks heated. you thought she didnt notice the way your thighs squeezed together and the way your eyes couldnt meet hers when she called you sweetheart.

but she did, and sam tried to ignore it at first. she tried to not care, she tried to stop staring back at you, she tried to stop thinking about you. she tried to stop thinking about the way you batted your eyelashes at her. she tried to stop thinking about the way you looked up at her when she stood in front of your seat and how she would much rather see you looking up at her like that from your knees.

she couldnt. she had to do something about it.

she held you after class, asking you to meet her during her office hours to discuss your most recent essay. and when you entered her office after her classes ended, she hardly looks up from her computer. "have a seat," she directs, nodding to the chairs placed on the other side of her desk. you do as your told, sitting at the edge of the chair, bag placed on the ground next to the legs of the chair.

shes says nothing for a few minutes, typing away at her computer, and you sit there, eyes wandering around the dark room. it was hardly lit, the blinding white screen of sam's computer and a lamp placed in the corner of the room being the only light in the small office. sam finally tears her eyes away from the computer, fixing her posture slightly as she looks at you.

"your most recent essay," she begins, pausing as if shes trying to find the right words. "theres a part in it that i would like to discuss with you. not that you've done anything wrong, i would just like to understand your thoughts behind it. i find it very," she pauses, eyes scanning over you, "intriguing." you swallow thickly, thighs pressing together slightly.

jesus christ, everything this woman did turned you on so fucking much. you nodded, eyes meeting hers for a split moment before looking away quickly.

sam talks about the paragraphs you remember spending hours typing and deleting. she praises you for the energy spent on it, the careful crafting of the entire essay, it sends a shiver down your spine every time she mumbles "very good" beneath her breath. it feels like hours pass of the two of you discussing your essay and the room seems hotter than it did when you first arrived, the jacket wrapped around you becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

you shrug it off, letting it rest on the back of the chair as you continue talking. sam takes it in, the low cut of your shirt, your arms, she looks at you like shes imagining every possible way she could mark you up and it has you stuttering over your words, cheeks heating, wetness pooling in your underwear. you try to brush it off, you're imagining it. why would your professor ever look at you like that?

but as time passes, you find yourself looking up at the taller woman from your place on the chair. she looks down at you, taking your jaw into her hold. "i cant stop thinking about you," she admits quietly. you swallow, wanting to tear your eyes away from her dark, piercing ones, but being so consumed with them, you cant seem to do it. "you're just so pretty, and the way you look at me, i cant even begin to explain it," she whispers, running her thumb against your bottom lip.

"really?" you ask, almost pathetically. you regret it the moment the word leaves your mouth, or you did until you saw the way sam's lips turned up at the question.

"really," she whispers. "i cant stop thinking about how you look when youre looking up at me from your seat. i cant stop thinking about how pretty you'd look on your knees, your lips wrapped around my strap, fuck." you whine at the thought and sam squeezes her eyes shut at the sound. "you'd like that, hmm? you'd like to suck on my strap, get it all wet for me before i fuck you, wouldn't you?" you try to nod, but sam's hold on your chin doesn't let you. "use your words for me."

"yes, fuck." you whine. sam smiles.

"on your knees then, can you do that for me?" she drops your jaw, taking a step back. you look up at her, nervously dropping to your knees. "good girl, you follow directions very well, don't you?"

"mhmm," you hum, finally noticing the slight bulge in sam's pants. sam reaches to undo her belt, but you're quick to push them away, unbuckling it yourself. sam's breath catches as she watches you under her pants, so entranced with how perfect you look on your knees for her. you pull her pants down, letting them pool at her ankles. you can see the bulge of her strap even better now, hidden behind her boxers.

you stop there, looking back up to sam for instruction, but she says nothing. she tangles her hand into your hair, pushing your face against the bulge in her boxers. you feel the silicon against your cheek, heat flooding through your body. you turn against her hold, the bulge just out of reach of your mouth. you look up at her through your eyelashes, opening your mouth and licking a up the clothed bulge.

sam groans as if she can feel it, she cant contain herself anymore. she tugs you away gently and before she can make the move, you're pulling her boxers down quickly. your met with the purple, silicon toy harnessed around her waist. you wonder how long she had been packing it. how long had she been wearing it. all day? the thought of her wearing a strap all day just so she could fuck you at the end of it sent waves of heat through your body.

your lips wrap around the tip, slowly taking the strap into your mouth, gaggling slightly when you take the entire thing. sam tangles her hand in your hair again, letting you go at your own pace. but as time passes, she cant keep her desperation hidden. she guides you to roughly take her strap, heat pooling in the pit of her stomach with every gag. she keeps a quick paces until you're drooling, tears pricking at your eyes at the intensity.

she pulls you off of her strap with a pop. "did so good. you look so good taking my cock like that." she offers her hand for you to take, helping you off of your knees before she takes a seat on the same chair you sat in. "strip for me, yeah?" and you do, slowly removing the clothing that covered your body, and the moment your fully nude in front of her, shes reaching for you, pulling you into her lap by your waist.

she lets you sink onto her dick, groaning as if she can feel the way your walls squeeze around her strap. you let out loud moans as you take her length. "fuck, just like that, baby. doing so fucking good for me." you whine at the praise, back arching slightly, your tits pushing into her face. her hands guide your hips as you fuck yourself on her strap, her mouth working around your chest, leaving deep hickeys in the skin.

"mm, fuck! feels so good," you whine, hips rolling when shes bottomed out. you bounce on her cock, letting her guided you, letting her fuck you how she wants. it feels good, so good. her warm mouth around your nipple, her strong hands on your hips, the strap buried inside of your cunt, it felt so fucking good. you felt like you were dreaming.

your professor, the one you've fantasized fucking you, actually fucking you. it made your head fuzzy. your moan loudly and sam pulls away, one hand moving up to cover your mouth. "gotta stay quiet baby. dont want anyone to hear how good i fuck you, now do we?" you nod pathetically, thighs burning with every movement on her strap. "good girl,'' she whispers. she pulls her hand away from your mouth. "open up for me, yeah?" you open your mouth and sam's fingers rest on your tongue. you whine around them. "yeah, baby, you just need to be all filled up, dont you?"

"'m so close," you whine out, but its muffled around her fingers.

"yeah baby, just keep going for me," you're not sure how she understood your failed sentence, but you dont put much thought into it. you focus on reaching your orgasm. you focus on how good she feels inside of you, you focus on her words.

your orgasm hits you hard. your loud moans hardly muffled by sam''s fingers. neither of you really seem to mind, sam guides you through your orgasm. you tug at sam's wrist and she takes her fingers out of your mouth. you collapse onto her almost immeadietly, burying your face into her neck.

"fuckfuckfuck," you whisper out, hips rolling against her strap as you ride out your high.

"yeah baby, just like that. you did so good for me, so fucking good."

minutes pass, your hips come to a stop, but neither of you make any indication of moving. sam's strap fills you up so deliciously, her breathing in your ear, her hands running up and down your body so soothingly.

"i think we're going to have to do this a lot more, don't you?"

[glacierberries]

partial premise of a diabolical sirius/james/severus fic where

it's a muggle au, and severus recently moved into this small town. a few years prior, lily gives him the number of this guy she plays an online game with. (which is cause it ended up being a game severus was more interested in than lily, so she thought he could play with someone else)

and so, for a few years, severus and this guy text each other. first, it starts off with just discussions of the game, but severus doesn't have an expensive set-up, so he can only play when he goes over to lily's house. so this guy gradually opens up about his home life and other things. severus finds out that this guy is rebellious and he he has a younger brother. the guy also says that his mother favours his younger brother. so severus also gradually opens up about his shitty home situation and they end up becoming really close friends.

so anyways, eileen breaks it off with tobias, and she gets a job at another town. severus is around 18 at this time and he gets a job at a cafeteria for extra money and moves to a new school

it turns out that in this new school, hes not easily accepted. theres a guy named james potter who keeps trying to bully him. luckily, severus has a few friends in his corner and competent teachers that do their job.

severus finds out that this james guy is really rich and he feels repulsed by his behaviour. but james has a friend named sirius and he's the most gorgeous guy he's ever seen, but he's cruel. and unfortunatelyy severus starts fancying him. like... yeah, he nearly gets severus killed in a car accident, and james is the one that 'saves' him... but like......... urgh who was he kidding, it would never amount to anything. would it?

and hes just having a hard time at school. and the thing is.. severus' online friend starts texting him more frequently, asking why severus doesnt text him as much anymore, (he has school) when he can come online (next time he sees lily) and if they could ever meet up (not yettt). and severus also sometimes complains about his homework and stuff and everything just goes on as normal.

to make matter worse, however, he soon realises that the place where he works at.. is RIGGHT across the street from james' house. great. wonderful. awesome, even.

and James, the bastard, eventually realises this particularly juicy piece of information when he randomly walks in on a monday morning to buy cold coffee. he catches severus wearing a work uniform and starts making fun of his Poorness. it's so exhausting, the next he goes to school and there are printed out creepshots of him taking orders from customers pasted onto the whiteboard. trust james potter to be a creep. he rolls his eyes because it isnt even that bad, but it's also annoying. (lucius looks at him with something akin to pity for the rest of the day and severus wants to pluck every single perfect piece of hair from his head) posh pricks, the whole lot of them.

he thinks james would leave him alone after that but nooo, hes just always there, trying to make jokes and falling flat. trying to distract him and make him mess up his order. tugging his hair out of his ponytail so that he has to re tie it. it's aggravating and severus thinks james would get tired of it but no, he doesnt.

so severus just gets used to his annoying presence. then for one week, james disappears. it's during the school holidays, so he doesnt see james at school either. strangely, for the whole week, his online friend doesnt answer his texts, either.

severus gets weirdly anxious, but tries to overload himself with more work and tries to finish his school projects. he texts lily and she says shes found a boyfriend and hes from severus' school. severus is happy for her.

finally, when his online friend answers, it's to say that he's run away from home and that he's staying at his friend's place. severus feels bad for him and sends him condolences and says that he's glad he's safe.

then, the week passes and one sunday morning, james enters the shop with sirius. they both look really tired and worn out. severus wants to ask questions, but he refrains and bites his lip. he doesnt want to ruin his morning with their sarcasm and hostility.

james sees him and quirks a small smile. he looks sad, severus notices, but doesnt comment. and the funniest thing ever happens. james and sirius come up to the counter to place their orders, and sirius blurts out that severus doesnt look too bad in his work uniform. theres a heavy silence and both james and severus flush, but sirius just says it like it's a fact. granted, he does look half dead, his eyebags are massive. but he still looks as hot as ever, severus notes with disappointment. he suddenly notes with mounting horror that james doesnt look too bad either. What the fuck???

after james and sirius go find a seat in a corner, severus pulls out his phone. to distract himself, he texts his online friend. and strangely, a notification sounds rings across the quiet cafe at the same time. and sirius pulls out his phone. james frowns, pouting a little. and severus shrugs it off. he sends another message. ANOTHER notification sound. strange. very strange indeed. his friend, who goes by the name of padfoot sends him something funny. and sirius is grinning at his phone.

okay.

Wait.

severus' stomach plummets. because what the actual fuck?

he sends another message. sirius' notification sound goes off again. james is irritatedly telling him to shut his phone off. sirius laughs and puts the phone back in his pocket. severus, meanwhile, is frozen. his head is spinning. because what do you MEAN sirius black was severus' second ever real friend?

sirius who was filthy rich. sirius who never missed a chance to mock him. sirius who sometimes went too far and had to be stopped by James of all people. he feels like crying. it can't be sirius black the guy whom he lowkey fancies and who is someone who would probably never look in his direction?

severus decides he knows what to do

[ronanlynchusurper]

I'm not saying that I'd love to hear your thoughts on Adam's relationship with his sexuality but actually that's exactly what I'm saying please share I think about it *all the time*

(don't have to no pressure but please consider this an open invitation 🙏)

hello hi yes! i would love to tell you my thoughts on this! first off, i love your character analysis posts so i am lil nervous sharing this haha but i would also love to know your thoughts on this topic too because i actually really struggled to put all my thoughts together like you do!

also disclaimer this turned into me just pointing at info from the books (or how i remember them at least) and going 'i think he knew he was bi the whole time and was toeing the line of being open about it" more than anything haha but yes eee i’m excited ok! also sorry it ended up so long there is a TL,DR to sum my rambling up so no pressure to read it all!

so firstly, i think it's interesting that we never (to my memory) see any 'discovery' or 'acceptance' journey for adam in regards to his sexuality like we do for other canonically queer characters. we see ronan's journey to acceptance and how he struggled with that and we also see kavinsky acting in a way that is a response to his sexuality discovery whether he accepts it or not. and while these kind of narratives aren't applicable to all queer people or characters I find it very curious that someone of adam's upbringing wouldn't have had atleast SOME struggles in relation to sexuality upon discovery. He has grown up with a father who is likely homophobic and racist and has been working blue collar jobs amongst men who in many cases typically have similar ideologies about masculinity etc since he was very young and its early 2010s in a small town. (im australian so i dont know tonnes about which areas are conservative in america but i got the vibe based on some comments in the books that henrietta wasn't super welcoming to minorities). adam makes some racist 'jokes' in the later books which implies to me that he still has residual prejudices from the way he has grown up, therefore you would think he would have similiar things to say about sexuality etc but he never does. this makes me assume he was either aware of his sexuality long before the raven boys starts and had come to terms with it a while ago or we just don’t see that aspect of his journey on page (which if thats the case thats a whole other thing to discuss). Also he clocks ronan as gay in book 1 with his 'thats the biggest lie youve ever told' comment and adam is too aware and analytical of himself and others to not be aware of his own attractions if he noticed ronan's. i also see this moment and when he jokes about piper not being ronans type in book 3 (? maybe 4?) as kind of an 'i see you' type of thing, like this is the type of shit i would say to queer friends im out to.

theres also moments when they are in school that imply people think he is gay, which on my first read i thought was typical boarding school boy behaviour of calling other guys gay as an insult or a jibe. BUT on my second read i noticed that the comment although still meant insultingly, is more a statement about thinking he's gay than anything else and although adam doesn't like tad (who its implied makes the comment) he doesn't seem particularly phased by the comment and when tad actually comes over to (in my opinion) flirt with him, rather than poke fun at him it kind of solidifies that. ALSO there are much easier and more obvious ways for them to make snide comments at adam, for example his financial situation. AND adam is a fairly masculine character although described as 'pretty' and skinny on different occasions, so it makes me wonder if the leap to him being queer must've been prompted by him either being open or not actively hiding it rather than stereotypes being projected onto him.

also ronan is sitting right next to him and doesn't seem phased at all by this discussion of adam sexuality, not to say that i think he would stand up and say something because he and adam don't ever need to fight each others battles but i think he would look atleast a little bit annoyed at the insinuation if he thought it wasn't true. (or maybe he’s just used to aglionby bullshit who knows)

which also brings me to the fact that ronan never claims that he thinks adam is straight. ronan doesn't say either way what he thinks adam identifies as BUT pretty quickly after ronan acknowledges his feelings for adam, he starts doing some overtly romantic gestures such as the mixtape, moments at the barns, the lotion etc. that's not to say i think he has done these things because he is expecting anything in return in fact i think ronan shows his love through actions & gestures whether he wants to or not and part of the reason adam accepts it is because he’s one of the few who doesn’t expect anything back, but these are still very deliberately romantic actions. ronan is very careful when in comes to relationships and i think he would feel very vulnerable putting those feelings out there without atleast a little bit of knowledge about adam’s sexuality especially when they are close friends its not a risk you want to take without precaution. most of his uncertainty about what is happening between them seems to be about whether adam likes him, not about whether adam likes boys.

that leads me to adam's thoughts about men (mainly ronan when he first starts noticing the shift in ronan's feeling towards him and his own attraction to ronan). there are moments when adam openly admires men and their appearances, the most obvious being gansey and greenmantle, but again adam doesn't seem to have any shame or surprise or confusion about those thoughts. its similiar when he comes to terms with his feelings about ronan. although some of adams thoughts about his feelings can be interpreted as confusion about his feelings towards a boy, his thoughts are more focused on if his feelings are actually love or not. its his first real experience of love and he also has concerns about if his want is strong enough to act on especially because he knows ronan is serious about it. the thoughts never focus on concerns of about being attracted to a boy or the risks of that (except for saying he knows ronan is the hardest option, which goes beyond him being a boy and seems to also be about ronans powers etc). also im mentioning the comment that adam had been starving longer,that comment alone is a whole other thing too get into but i definitely think is speaks to adam's relationship with his sexuality and love, touch and being known and how deprived he has been for so long.

I think for me the bit that surprised me the most about his relationship with his sexuality when first reading, was that him and ronan appear to be quite open about their relationship post trk as robert makes a comment about him driving his boyfriends car. whether or not him and ronan are officially out as boyfriends or just hanging out so closely to the point that a rumour has spread, it's more than likely they actively made that choice.

i think i found this pleasantly surprising when i first read it because until this point adam has been conscious of trying to fit in with the other aglionby boys e.g. making sure his clothes look neat and well taken care of, paying his own way, hiding his accent etc. he resents them for all the ways they are different when they talk about their holidays and money etc and the reason he makes the sacrifice to cabeswater is so he feels equal to gansey (i know he grows from this but still).

when looking at the basic traits of adam its easy to assume he would want to be the type of character to hide his relationship or atleast not be open about it as a way to protect his options and make life easier for himself where he can, because of how hard he has struggled,and so its interesting that he then actively chooses to 'alienate' himself (in some perspectives) further from the other boys at aglionby. as someone who is constantly considering his actions in regard to his future and just having the personality he has, he definitely would've considered the cons of being out at aglionby and how that could effect his opportunities, e.g. at this point in the story all we know about what he wants for the future is the fact that networking with republicans at a gansey event would be helpful, being queer and poor wouldn't be easy to navigate in those spaces and still thought it was more important to be open in his relationship.

he is also a character that values having control over how he is perceived and being openly queer or even just being publicly in a relationship in general has so many elements you cannot control e.g. what other people say and think about you based on your partner of choice, how the scrutiny or openness can effect said relationship etc. this makes me think he would want to hold it closely to his chest to protect it and yet he defies that.

anyway i struggle to explain in words what im getting at ig but i just love that he deviates from character stereotypes that he would have some similiar traits with in that regard. he knows how treasured his connection with ronan is and considers it a privilege to be loved by him and wants to show that to the world regardless of the uncertainty. it becomes increasingly obvious especially in dreamer trilogy that despite his hard work for career and education based goals there isn't much he wouldn't sacrifice or atleast compromise for ronan, which is potentially unhealthy but idc they are codependent and its fine fight me on it.

i think i also find his relationship with his sexuality interesting because it’s easy to read him as a character who cares for his relationship and accepts being queer without actively seeking out the queer community, so adam going to harvard and lying about everything in his life except his sexuality and relationship with ronan is quite telling of his relationship with being queer, especially because he then seeks out whats implied to be an openly all queer friend group when he could've gone and befriended anyone and made himself into anyone. he finds his relationship so important to who he is and his life that instead of hiding it he wanted to exist and be amongst people who understood that, even if he wouldn’t let them understand anything else about him.

i just love him so so much i feel this hasn't really explained my thoughts whatsoever i've just rambled about parts of the book but yeah i just think its really intriguing how he approaches his sexuality so much differently to how he approaches everything else ig.

TL, DR

adam's relationship with his sexuality is fascinating because it doesn’t follow the typical 'realisation → internal struggle → acceptance' arc even though his upbringing points to this a reasonable arc for him. he seems like he’s already accepted his queerness before the raven cycle even starts, and it’s one of the only things in his life he doesn’t overanalyse, repress, or try to change. he’s a character focused on control, appearances, and social mobility, yet when it comes to being queer and loving ronan, he’s surprisingly open. it’s like queerness and his romantic love is one of the few parts of himself he feels certain about. instead of hiding it, he protects and celebrates it. and that choice is quiet interesting for someone who’s worked so hard to be palatable to the world and be successful by society's standards

[cinnamostar]

three dates to fall in love

part one. part two. part three. part four. part five (here). part six (coming soon).

pairing : hyunjin x gn!reader

summary : after a two year long unspoken hatred, hyunjin and you are forced to be costars in a romantic series, but when it comes to filming any of the romance scenes, you both utterly fail and are unable to get through your lines. the director threatens to take your roles away if you two aren't able to get past this within the next week, which spawns the genius idea from both your managers: can you learn to (fake) fall in love in seven dates and save your careers?

wc : 2.5k

cw : actor!au, enemies to lovers ?!, slowburn , not proofread, nothing crazy :)

a/n : im back from my hiatus and omggg i graduated from my masters program wahoooo! here's part five. let me know what you think! theres not much going on here to be honest........ its pretty chill

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“Yo,” Changbin answers from the other end of the line, his heavy breaths echoing through the call.

“Are you still working out?” Hyunjin asks incredulously, pulling the phone back to check the time, “You said you were going to the gym two hours ago and you’re still there?”

“Gotta keep these bad boys in shape, ya know?” Changbin teases, a giggle ringing through as he is most, (and he is), checking himself out in the mirror, “What’s up though? Did you just get home?”

“At this point, you look more like a bodyguard than my manager.”

“I take that as a compliment! Thank you very much, but I believe you have something to discuss with me, hm?”

“I mean, it went well?” Hyunjin responds with uncertainty in his voice, causing Changbin to sigh from the other end of the line.

“Is that all..? Are you just going to call me every time to tell me only that?” Changbin asks with annoyance, unable to understand the actor’s unwillingness to share anything more about the arrangement he found himself in. “You know, I’ll just end up calling Chan and hearing it from him instead…”

“Huh?”

Changbin smirks to himself, knowing that would capture the younger’s attention, “Yeah, you know, Y/N has a lot to say. I know all about it. It’s the only way I know how things are going.”

“What do they say?”

“Why do you care?”

“I just do.”

“And I should tell you because…?”

Hyunjin frowns at the back-and-forth, feeling peeved Changbin, his manager, wasn’t divulging any information upfront, “Because I’m the one going on dates with them and I should probably know…?”

“I’ll tell you if you tell me how today went.”

“It went well, I already told you that.”

“Tough luck, buddy, that won’t do. How unfair, especially when Y/N has sooo much to say,” Changbin dramatically mocks a sob, “Yet you, oh, you have so little to offer. It’s like you’re not enjoying any of it.”

Hyunjin rolls his eyes at his antics, frustration bubbling within him, “I am enjoying it and it is going well. Is that good enough for you?”

“Nope.”

“Okay.”

“Okay… So, can I hang up now?”

“No.”

“So you want me to stay on the phone in silence with you?” Changbin asks, a smirk still plastered on his face because he knew, eventually, Hyunjin would relent to Changbin’s teasing. It was always like this, Hyunjin was hard to read and never shared much with Changbin, which honestly makes his job as his manager a lot more difficult than he’d like. The only times Hyunjin would be transparent with him about his emotions was when he was complaining about something, or the time he panickedly called him after his very unfortunate date with you, and how he realized what a big mistake he had made. Other than that, Hyunjin lips were always sealed tight. Either because he was a private person or was bad at vocalizing his feelings, Channgbin didn’t know, but he was getting annoyed at Hyunjin calling him after every day with the same three words every time. ‘It went well.’ God, those words were pissing him off and he felt like his time was being wasted because now, he had to call Chan and find out from him what was going on. After another few moments of silence, Changbin sighs once more, “Okay, I’m hanging up now —”

“N-no, wait!” Hyunjin interrupts him, a slight tremor in his voice.

“Okay, now I’m waiting.”

“Today went well, and I know I already said that, let me finish,” rambles Hyunjin, the words slowly clawing their wait up his throat, “It’s just… it’s a lot nicer than I thought it would have been. They’re super kind and welcoming to me even though I was a complete asshole to them.”

Changbin smiles victoriously to himself, ecstatic to finally hear this simple, yet salient confession out of the younger boy, “Oh, that’s good then. Sounds like they’re doing their best to make it work.”

“Yes, but I also… feel really bad about it too,” Hyunjin grimaces at the guilt he had been trying to ignore, it sneaking up to the forefront of his mouth as he speaks, “I really don’t think I deserve any of this from them, but they’re treating me sorta like nothing ever happened before and it’s a little weird to get use to this side of them. The more I realize how wrong I was about them, the shittier I feel.”

“Man, I don’t blame you, but I think you gotta give yourself some credit. It sounds like you both are handling this weird situation the best you can. Have you told them this?”

“Yeah, and that’s what makes this feel worse. They were so sweet about it, they comforted me when I was the one who hurt them,” groans Hyunjin, pinching the bridge of his nose as he squeezes his eyes shut, “And they… they said they need time to forgive me, which is fine! I get that entirely, but… I don’t think I’ll be able to forgive myself until they do?”

“Mhm, I understand what you’re feeling isn’t easy, but don’t you think you should at least try to be nicer to yourself? I mean… It sounds like Y/N cares about you enough, and if they want you to feel better about the situation, shouldn’t you try for their sake?”

“I guess, but it’s not that easy, Changbin –”

“I never said it was easy,” Changbin responds pointedly, “But wallowing up in guilt is no way to be living either, I’m sure Y/N knows that too and doesn’t want you beating yourself up this much about it when you’re both trying to move forward.”

“I don’t know…”

“Just give it a try, it won’t hurt. You can hold yourself accountable and still be nice to yourself. Alright, but I have to go now, so byeee!”

Hyunjin frowns, “Wait, no, you’re supposed to tell me–” only for him to be cut off by the sound of the call ending, “... what Y/N said…”

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Hyunjin decided to take both yours and Changbin’s advice to heart and do his very best to practice compassion, yet he forgot how terribly difficult that was until the next day arrived. In theory, it should be simple to just be nicer to himself, but his heart kept contorting and aching with guilt throughout the day, it becoming too much to bear as he tried to figure out how to control that emotion. He had to eventually learn to be in your presence without that harrowing, bottomless pit that would form in his stomach, especially if you two were going to be costars for the rest of filming.

So here he was, his face and ears tinged with red as he sat across you on a picnic blanket, an assortment of foods between you two, and a gentle breeze causing locks of your hair to dance. Despite the chilly weather, Hyunjin could feel himself being covered in what he can only describe as a cold sweat while his stomach flipped onto himself. He was nervous, anxious even, and he had zero clue on how to deal with what he called guilt, shame, humiliation. He wasn’t sure which word was the best descriptor for this very moment, but he could barely sit still, constantly fidgeting as he tried to turn his gaze away from you, hoping the blues of the lake would ease his nerves that had not stopped rapid firing since noon. 

“You okay?” You ask, lifting a sushi piece to your mouth as you eyed Hyunjin with a cocked up eyebrow.

He freezes up for a moment, before forcing a nervous smile with a nod, “Oh, yeah, I’m fine!” He tries to force his voice into a more cheery tone, but he can tell you could see right through him. Somehow, you could read the faintest microexpressions from him, but he’s thankful to see you shrug your shoulders and not press on any further. It was almost as if you had the ability to read his mind, knowing when it was right to question his behavior or just let him revel in his own thoughts.

“Well, you should eat some more! I need some help finishing all this food Changbin ordered for us,” you laugh, picking up a piece of sushi between your chopsticks and lifting it towards him, “Here, open up!” you say in a teasing tone.

He rolls his eyes, “You know, I can feed myself,” but he felt his stomach bubble up with inexorable nerves, his words almost getting caught in his throat. You playfully pout at his words, “Oh, c’mon, just eat it! I know you want to.” You wiggle the sushi in front of his face in some poor attempt to entice him, but it was only causing him to become uncomfortably warm as he did his best to look anywhere that wasn’t your face. “Fine, fine,” he responds, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible as he opens his mouth as you plop the sushi into it, the beating of his heart thumping loudly in his ears. 

“Good, right?” You smile.

He nods his head, his eyes crinkling at the overwhelming flavor as hums in agreement, “Wow, yeah, which one was that?” 

“Mmm, I think that one is toro salmon? I’m not sure,” you giggle at his reaction, feeling pleased with yourself that you managed to whittle away at the awkwardness he wore around you. Hyunjin was constantly on edge around you, the nerves obvious in the frown lines of his forehead, and while you could understand why, you were hoping he would start to loosen up around you as time went on. Despite everything that has occurred over the past two years, you were starting to yearn for the friendship you and Hyunjin once had and wished to be able to return to that comforting time. 

However, it was never that simple, as your desire for his friendship was often overshadowed with memories of his cruel words, how easily he spat them out to you without a moment of hesitation. A moment of innocent banter could just take you back to that time because somehow, his banter and cruelty shared a similar inflection, just enough to cause your eyes to prick with tears if you noticed it. The lasting impact his words had on you was a stark reminder for you to not so easily forgive him, to not forget what he was once capable of. But no matter how hard you tried to look past it and solely focus on your friendship with him, there was this inexplicable rift between you two, a hurdle neither you could just quite jump over, though perhaps it was this mutual understanding that allowed you both to understand each others’ quietness. It was strange, you two had become strangers that understood the language your souls’ whispered, but neither retained that fluency and were struggling to recall the words you once spoke.

The silence returns, enveloping you both as the wind hushedly howls, the sounds of birds chirping filling in the empty pages of dialogue as you each continue to eat. Every now and then someone would comment on the food, how good it tasted and thanking God for letting Changbin set up such a delicious day, finishing the last bits of sashimi that was left on the plate.

“Oh jeez, I’m so full,” you mutter, sleepiness slowly creeping its way into your body, “Ah, but we gotta take pictures, I don’t wanna deal with a whiny Changbin.”

Hyunjin snorts, knowing all too well the fit his manager would throw if his date plans were not followed through, especially when he made it clear to the both of you that he wanted proof that you two actually did take those pictures. All he wanted was for each of you to take photos of the other, a mini photoshoot by the lake, while also insisting it would be a great post for either of your instagrams. “Yeah, let's not do that to ourselves.” He lifts himself up from the floor, anxiously offering a hand to help you up, quickly retracting after you stood while ignoring the electric nerves bouncing at the palm of his hands. 

“I’ll take your pictures first, okay?” You say, your phone already in hand as you gesture to him to stand in front of the lake, “Luckily, the sun is out, so maybe we will get some nice photos to post,” you add on. Meanwhile, Hyunjin, very stiffly, stood ahead of you, unsure what to do with his body and how to pose. Normally, he is good at this kind of stuff, he has done plenty of photoshoots in the past, but he was terrified at the thought of embarrassing himself in front of you. Before, he had never once had this concern, this worry, he didn’t know why these thoughts kept forming each time he thought of you. It clouded his mind, preventing him from seeing any logic or reason. “Alright, model boy, do your thing, I know you know how to work the camera,” you call out, snapping Hyunjin out of his trance. 

If he wasn’t sweating before, he most definitely was now as he body overheated under the sudden pressure he put onto himself as he robotically posed, and you, as always, couldn’t help but notice the lack of elegance he usually carried himself with. “Oh, c’mon, what’s up with you today?” 

“I… I don’t know, I’m just nervous… I think?”

“Well, I can see that,” you sigh, placing a hand on your hip, “But, you got no reason to be! It’s just me!”

“I think it being you is the issue,” he murmurs out, not really meaning for the words to slip out his mouth.

You press your lips into a straight line, “Right, I get that. Sooo, how about you pretend it’s not me taking the pictures, but Changbin?”

Hyunjin breathes out a sarcastic laugh, “Oh, yea, that will totally work, you make a very convincing Changbin.”

“Oh, right, let me just-” you roll up the sleeves of your shirt, exposing your biceps as you make a poor attempt to flex them, “How about now, is this working?”

Hyunjin found himself laughing loudly at your very sudden and unexpected antics, his stomach flipping onto itself as a flurry of affection rushed over him. You looked absolutely ridiculous, yet something about it was incredibly endearing despite the goofiness that radiated off of you. However, the sound of the camera shuttering from your phone quickly made him pause his laughter. “Hm, I think you look pretty cute in this,” you smile, turning the screen towards him to see you had captured a photo of him in the midst of his giddiness. He felt his cheek flush at your words, the shyness that had temporarily disappeared made its presence known. “I guess it’s not bad, just… a little different from what I usually post online.”

“Good different, right?” You ask, a smile still gracing features as the sun kisses your features, the wind gently brushing through your hair. 

“Definitely a good different.”

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taglist (closed): @kopikokrunch @icouldntcareless22 @kidrauhlschik @hhwangsmoon @lestayzone @cupidcures @sleepyxxhead @pinkpunkdynamite @kaiyaba @palindrome969 @aokiss @annybah @tigerroarsinthelight @bubbly-moon @nattisbored @jin-from-the-block @hyuneyeon

[vonbabbitt]

What are the upsides to leaving yourself open like this to the community (answering questions, etc) and the downsides? Which do you find outweighs the other?

this is a really insightful question anon!!

i think there are definitely upsides and downsides and i definitely dont think leaving yourself open to the community is the best approach for everyone. heres what i could think of off the top of my head

upsides

im really grateful to have a community that does things like make fanart and write fanfic and make music. you guys contribute so much to the tetro fandom that i want to be able to return that respect to you in whatever way i can, and i feel like completely cutting myself off from the people who make fandom content feels ungrateful for what theyve given me! my word does carry some degree of weight within the tetro fandom specifically (since i made tetro) so if people get excited at seeing me respond to their art or their prompts then i wanna be able to give them that feeling in return for contributing

you guys have some really insightful things to say about tetro sometimes and i enjoy seeing how you interpret and process my writing, it gives me some thoughts on how i want to write in the future, what i did well and what i may be doing poorly

im a bit of a social person and i like to chat with you guys! its nice to feel like i have a place where i can share random thoughts with you guys and get conversational responses - i like connection!

i feel like some of the things i have to say can be helpful for people trying to go down a similar path to myself - by no means am i some beacon of writing or fangans or anything but if people like what i make and want to make something similar or have questions about the fangan community/creation process, i do feel like i have enough authority on the subject to advise accordingly!

downsides

the hate. theres not a ton of it, but when it does come up, its hurtful and stressful. im kind of hard on myself by nature so i really take that stuff to heart and can end up sitting on it for a while which isnt great for my general mental health

not every critique is something i need to see. again, im no beacon of writing, but sometimes people send me criticisms that are just blatantly incorrect or total misinterpretations of my work. im admittedly sensitive and seeing those critiques, even when i know theyre wrong, stresses me out. it makes me wanna jump in and be like "no!! its not like that!!! its like x!!" but i know i cant do that

scrutiny. once you go public with your presence as a creator, you are under constant scrutiny. people discuss you, everything you say and everything you do. it makes me nervous about saying or doing anything at all in tetro spaces, because i know its going to be picked apart and read into.

parasocialism. this one is the most uncomfortable of the downsides. people who try hard to become my friend not because of anything about me personally, but because i made tetro. people who think they understand me personally based solely on my online presence. ive had many many many people step over the boundaries of creator and fan throughout my time in tetro. it makes me really uncomfortable when people claim to know what im thinking or claim to understand me on this super deep level thats just disingenuous when theyve never even had a one-on-one conversation with me

honestly theres quite a few upsides and downsides. as strange as it might sound, my general advice to most fangan creators would be not to be so acccessible. the fangan community, for all the fun it houses and all the amazing creativity it produces, can be incredibly mean and often holds inexperienced creators to insane standards. i do feel like im held to an unfair standard in the fangan community - this is my first public project and im frequently insulted for not being on par with TV shows or AAA productions or things made by entire massive teams with budgets. i feel like in most other spaces, theres a certain expectation that people are just having fun and making content because they enjoy it, so im not sure why the opposite seems so prevalent for the fangan community

regardless, i do like being accessible, and i love my community, and i think the way i do things works for me. ive been learning when to pull back and how to process both valid critique and unnecessary cruelty. if you want to have a public presence, you have to learn the skills required to be accessible without being miserable. i think this is hard for a lot of people, so generally, i recommend keeping a low profile, but thats just the opinion of one random babbitt i suppose

[rogueshadow1124]

DEADLY SILENT

[BATFAMILY IMAGINE SERIES]

Platonic¡Jason Todd x Batsis!Reader, slight platonic¡Dick Grayson x Batsis!Reader

Summary: Over a year ago to this day Jason died, his younger sister found him at the scene but was too late to be able to stop his death- she ended up blaming herself and vowed to visit his grave...

Word count: roughly 1805

Warning: mature language, mentions weapons/some violence.

The youngest Wayne, strolled through the graveyard that was set a light by the neutral tones that seeped out of the lampposts nearby. Y/N made this a weekly occurrence, she couldnt seem to push away the thought of her older brother not being here anymore, she couldnt come to terms with the fact that he was indeed gone.

She came to a stop at the grave she visited everytime she had a chance to. Jason Todd, a loving brother and son forever in our hearts and never to be forgotten, 1990-2012. Y/N had always admired her older brothers but more so Jason as they were the closest and had a similar persona, when she found out he died a year ago to this day she completely broke and nobody knew for sure if she could be fixed.

"Its been a year Jay, a whole goddamn fucking year." The girl dropped to her knees, reaching towards the ga stone to set a hand upon it. "I'm hurting Jaybird, everything hurts so much and I dont know how to stop the pain. I dont even think its curable, I'm broken, I've become a unrecognizable person." Her head dropped, tears seeped out of her eyes and dripped down the curve of her cheek, trailing down her neck. "Dick said I needed to speak to someone, maybe a therapist but I refused. Bruce- he's given up. Alfred's trying to keep us together but it's not working. We need you- I need you."

A buzzing echoed through the air as her phone started to vibrate in her pocket, she let out a heavy breath while reaching down to grasp it and see that Dick was calling. Her thumb swiped across the screen to accept the call before pulling it up to her ear.

"Y/N/N where are you?" His voice rumbled through the other end of the device, he sounded panicked yet calm at the same time.

"Dont worry Dick I'm not gonna do anything stupid okay I'm just doing a usual weekly round, I need space, I need you all to stop treating like I'm still a child and let me mourn in my own damn way. I can handle myself, maybe it doesnt seem like it but I'm still here arent I?" She let out a sob at the end, her hands shaking as she let out a laboured breath this time, closing her eyes in an attempt to calm herself.

"Y/N can you come back home, theres something really important we need to discuss..."

"What part of 'I need to be alone' dont you understand Richard?" She heard her brother sigh on before the sound of a few things being knocked over and then Bruce scolding someone in a hushed tone. "I'm going now."

"No, wait. Y/N!" She ended the call, placing her phone back in her pocket. Her head tilted back up to look at the grave infront of her, her thoughts ran wild in her head as she tried to figure what she could possibly say next. In reality she was speaking to nobody, there was nothing but silence but she felt a huge amount of relief lift from her when she 'spoke' to Jason.

Her eyes then narrowed in frustration, hands coming up to tug at her hair while more tears blurred her vision and suffocated the soft surface of her face. Small, audiable cries passed her lips in distress and sadness, her body shaking from her crying and the slight chill of the cool midnight air that flew within the atmosphere.

Y/N hated the feeling of loneliness. With Jason being gone that's exactly how she felt, sure she had her other brother but Jason was the one she confided in, he was her protector. He reassured her, he was her shoulder to cry on, he was her rock and without her rock she had nothing to go back to, to lean on when she needed comfort-

She pushed herself up to stand on her feet, looking down at the gravestone before spinning on her heel and speeding down the narrow paths. Her hands came up to pull the hood of her jacket over her head, trailing down to slip into her pockets that were the only source of heat to radiate through her hands to stop them from becoming numb on this cold night.

The cars whizzed passed on the Gotham roads, horns blaring and tires screeching as they sped by.

Y/N only ever came out at night, it was a time where she could set free from her mind- not fully but it was relieving while it lasted. She hated the silence that surrounded her daily, though she all but loved it at the same time. When it was silent she would drown in her own thoughts however if someone broke the silence they would ask the same questions and suggest what could help her.

A hand shout out from her left, hauling her into an alleyway. She yelped at the sudden force, her back cracked slightly when she was slammed into the brick wall behind her making a groan slip from her lips. Her deep blue orbs, that now seemed to be duller than ever peered up at the attacker- dressed in fully back and had a light grey mask covering their face.

"Y/N Wayne." Came a male voice, sounding quite sinister.

"Who's asking." She replied dryly, leaning back into the wall as the male tightens his grip on her shoulders.

"My boss. Your father seems to have upset him and he doesnt take things like that lightly sweetheart." The man pulled a gun from his back pocket, bringing it up to hover over her face, the cool metal sliding it up to the bridge of her nose to rest against her forehead.

"Do it. Kill me." Her words never faltered which surprised the man, her hand raised to grasp the gun and pull it further towards her head, eyes crossing as she peered up at the gun.

"Oh, who would have thought. The Y/N Wayne begging for death." The man teased, tilting his head to the side as dark eyes pierced her own through the holes in the mask.

"I've got nothing left to loose. I'm miserable. Do it, just pull the trigger. Do it!" She pushed forwards as the mans finger went to pull at the trigger, eyes screwing shut as a rush of anticipation ran through her veins as she waited for the quick way out of life. It never came.

Her eyes peeled open to see another person, a metallic looking red helmet hid his whole head, a brown leather jacket along with a black shirt and dark, tight fitted jeans and a pair of matted jet black combat boots. The new comer held the attacker up by his throat as he rithed under his grip, hands clutching onto the gloved hands that wrapped around his neck.

"You're so dead." The red masked vigilante grumbled out in anger, his hands tightened around the other males neck making breathing a hard task to do before the attacker slowly grew limp in his arms and was dropped to the ground.

"Who the hell are you?!" The girl whispered shouted, looking him up and down. Her eyes trailed to the man on the floor who lay unconscious- maybe, possibly dead. She fell back against the wall, hands by her side as she threw her head back and sighed.

"What do you think you were doing Y/N?!"

"How the fuck do you know my name?" She stood back to her full height eyeing the vigilante with a puffy red eyes from when she had been crying not so long ago. She watched as a gloved hand moved up and hooked under the metal helmet, tugging at it so it revealed a face. A very familiar one at that. "No. Please. Oh- no."

"Y/N/N I know this seems weird right now okay, let me explain." Jason spoke, holding his hands out to her as she shook her head repeatedly and whispered a bunch of 'No's' and 'this isn't real'.

"Your dead, yo-your supposed to be dead. I-I saw your body, I didnt make it in time." She sobbed out loudly, looking directly at the 'replica' of her older brother. Her brows furrowed and her lip wobbled as she continued to cry uncontrollably. "A year ago today, we found you dead!"

"I-I was resurrected months ago Y/N, I'm here. I'm real. I promise." Jason stepped forwards slowly, pulling the broken girl into his embrace. The sound of a motorcycle revving sounded in the background making the no longer dead Jason look over his shoulder to see Dick in his nightwing costume.

"Did you find her, please tell me you found her." Dicks voice echoed within the alley, breathing out a breath of relief when jason moved his form to reveal the crying girl. "Oh thank god."

A slap suddenly came to fill the secondary of silence along with a Yelp. One of Jason's hands flung up to cup his burning cheek while his eyes met with Y/N's fiery gaze, her hands set on her hips as she continued to sniffle, tears still venturing down her cheeks.

"Y-your telling me you've been alive for months?!"

"W-well yeah, I-" he tried to respond but was near to immediately cut off by his younger sister raising her hand and waving it around.

"I-I'm miserable. Broken even, for a whole fucking year I was and your telling me you have been alive for a few months. I saw your body Jason, I was the first to find you and I completely broke when I knew I could have done something to prevent your 'death'." Her voice became softer as she relived the memory, images flashed through her mind as she recalled what she had seen when she found him dead.

"Y/N I've told you millions of times it wasnt your fault. Nobody could have stopped it from happening." Dick stepped to stand beside Jason so both of them were infront of her, a small smile etched onto his lips when she rammed into him, wrapping her arms around his waist and buried her head in his chest.

"But what if I could have prevented it Dick?"

"Theres no way you could have sweetheart." Jason stated, running a hand through her messy locks that splayed upon her head wildly.

"I love you Jaybird, so much. I missed you." She turned around and attatched herself to Jason, jumped in his arms which made him laugh as he caught her and she wrapped around him like a koala bear.

"I missed you too, little bird."

[dr-spectre]

Hey guys! I wanna share something REALLYYYYYY important with you all!!!

So, I was having a nice conversation with an editor from Inkipedia. Really friendly individual, we had a nice civil discussion and it was great to hear out their points and wiki related things. I learnt some cool things and how Nintendo operates in certain areas.

I asked them about some stuff relating to Callie and localisations, and they told me that the "Hypnoshades" are actually just called "sunglasses," in the original Japanese version of Splatoon 2 and theres no mention of brainwashing OR hypnosis. All of the events in the original japanese version of Splatoon 2 seemed to be a lot more vague and up for interpretation which i found to be very interesting!!

However.... the editor told me that the English localisation line from DJ Octavio, "I remixed Callie's brain!" is actually different in the original japanese version.

GUESS WHAT DJ OCTAVIO SAID...

"Aori-Chan is so simple minded! I was able to brainwash her with ease."

Nintendo JP.... WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! I WAS YOUR BIGGEST DEFENDER!! WHAT IS THIS?!?!?! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT IN THE ORIGINAL JAPANESE VERSION... CALLIE WAS STILL BRAINWASHED?!?!

Oh I'm gonna be sick....

You know, this ultimately just proves something to me.

Splatoon 2's writing... just fucking sucks. Straight up, it's ass. And not the good kind. It's poorly written and you wanna know why? It's set up is REALLY GOOD!!!! but it's pay off is the most uninteresting, vile, disrespectful, childish, lazy, DISGUSTING THING THEY COULD HAVE POSSIBLY DONE!!!

All this interesting set up with Callie and having this arc where she's so lonely and busy that she ultimately runs away to the Octarians, joins them willingly and ends up getting hypnotised, resulting in her becoming more emotional and seeping into the darkness in her heart... Marie, having to come and remind her of the good times they had together... to reignite the positivity in Callie's heart... to repair what they have broken... to have a fresh start...

But did this setup get paid off in a satisfying and emotionally deep way? No.... they choose to TREAT CALLIE LIKE A FUCKING MORON AND FOR WHAT REASON?!?!?! ARE NINTENDO JUST SCARED OF DEPTH?!?! WHATS THEIR FUCKING ISSUE?!?!?!

ITS SO DISRESPECTFUL!!! SHE LOST THE FINAL SPLATFEST AND YOU CONTINUE TO BEAT HER DOWN?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! WHAT WERE THE WRITERS COOKING?!?!?! GET THEM OUT OF THE KITCHEN DAMN IT!!!!

They literally picked the most uninteresting and disgusting fucking outcome possible and I genuinely don't know why. There's SOOOO much concept art and multiple sunken scroll entries that showcase this depth for Callie, AND THEY THREW IT AWAY!!!

But you know what? Im gonna continue to hold my stance about the events of splatoon 2 because I would rather like to look at the story in a more interesting and narratively fulfilling way than what Nintendo is trying to push. Sure, it might not be what Nintendo said happened, but I would rather look at the events in a different, more character rich way for my own fucking sanity and enjoyment. I am going to continue to say fuck you to the notion that "Callie was brainwashed and kidnapped" because I like stories where characters go through character arcs and growth!!!! I hate it when that depth and agency for my favourite character in this franchise IS TAKEN AWAY!!!!

I would rather live in a world where Fresh Start ACTAULLY MAKES SENSE AS A SONG!! I would rather live in a world where OCTAVIO ISNT A FUCKING UNREDEEMABLE EVIL MONSTER THAT CUTTLEFISH WOULD NEVER WANNA SEE AGAIN AFTER HEARING WHAT HE DID TO CALLIE!!!!

I would rather live in a world where Splatoon 3 feels more satisfying to me and the Squid Sisters get proper send offs and pay offs to their arcs from the start of Splatoon 1.

I would rather live in a world where Tidal Rush is more emotional and personal, THAN SOME BULLSHIT "oh we gotta save callie because she's a dumb idiot and she's an object to grab because it's a video game!!! Ha ha!!!"

I would rather live in a world where Callie is given a proper character arc, INSTEAD OF GETTING KIDNAPPED AND THESE AWFUL AND DISGUSTING THINGS DONE TO HER! ONLY FOR IT TO GET REVERSED SO EASILY WITH NO MENTION OF THESE EVENTS EVER AGAIN!!!!!

UGH.... I'm actually so angry. I hate this so much.

When Splatoon 4 comes out, I'm not gonna hold back on my criticisms. I want change out of these writers because the current format we have for Splatoon stories is actual dogshit and I'm so tired of it. Everyone in the community is tired of the cool and interesting character details being pushed to the side and hidden away because Nintendo fucking hates narratives and only saves it for RPGS for some ungodly reason.

Im tired of important character details giving shoved off in optional and hard to find content. I'm tired of these awful implications and events being spread like wildfire in the community because daddy Nintendo said so.

Im done.

[dystopiandramaqueen]

I like everyone’s takes.

You’re right.

The biggest betrayal is they used story telling to hurt us. On purpose. For their amusement.

It reminds me of how Gilead repurposed schools into sex slave torture centers.

Stories are a sacred, ancient human art. To educate and give hope.

You introduce a character we identify with.

You put them through the hero’s journey.

We see that maybe WE can overcome adversity and unimaginable trials.

It matters bc let’s say THERES A REAL FASCIST TAKE OVER… we think on the book. What did Atwood tell us. She said we can choose to love. Love will give us joy even in hell. Even if we have nothing- love will keep us alive.

I chose to put HULU’s made up additional torture porn into my mind for a decade. Because what I expected was the hero’s journey.

This is exactly what they did to every female in GOT. Brianne of fucking Tarth- warrior queen- ends up boo hooing over a boy. The rich white evil queen gets no punishment, and the power we’ve wanted for Danny the whole time? She can’t handle it. Her boyfriend has to kill her.

Like… wut? Then why did I watch all that suffering?

If nothing comes of it.

That genre is called HORROR.

You take relateable characters, and the absolute worst happens to them, then they die. There’s catharsis in horror, I watch a fair amount of it WHEN I WANT TO. When I know the general arc from the preview. “Family mutilated by monsters in the woods.” I can choose to consent to engage that material.

Like think about BDSM. The whole culture depends on talking about what you will experience ahead of time, making sure you want that, and making sure you can stop if you don’t actually like it.

THT broke every contract.

They sold us a hero’s journey- but didn’t let the hero have peace at the end. So it feels like WE will never get peace.

They made horror content all of a sudden out of nowhere, and didn’t label it. They stuck it in a drama for 1 character only?

I wouldn’t have watched horror about women being raped. I DID NOT CONSENT TO THIS EXPERIENCE.

It’s like if you and your partner discussed vanilla sex - but right at the end they flipped you over, tied you up, and started beating you. Trying to hurt you. Without asking permission.

Then after they go on social media and laugh and gloat about how much you cried.

It’s sick.

It isn’t how things are done

We don’t make romances into horror at the last second

We don’t mock our viewers

It doesn’t make them smart or edgy it makes them bullies

[clangenrising]

Still thinking about the update and it’s such a dilemma (being the coming kits of Luna and Flood). There is no true “right” answer to it.

Personally, the fetishization Luna expresses about Flood makes me very uncomfortable, especially seeing as he does not enjoy it/like that she sees him in such a flattened way. So the idea she very strongly feels is “correct” of him abandoning his life, family, friends, to assimilate into a society that would never suit him and absolutely hate him is just not possible. There is no way that would ever work and even in a world in which he agreed it would not end up well (because the city cats do not like clan cats, at all.)

But then to her, this is something they both did, together. And leaving Luna with kits is not fair to her or the kits themselves (also not something I would ever see Flood doing). Theres no way he could provide for them from a distance like brought up in another ask since she’s provided everything by her folk. And I’m not sure how a split custody sorta deal would work since the city cats hate wild cats and everything associated with them.

Most likely, I see this ending with Flood taking them to Risingclan. How it happens though I’m so interested in. I see two ways, the most likely being Luna giving them to him to raise as warriors either to “live by their wild instincts” (how I think she’d see it, yuck vibes) or she sees that them staying in the city is unsafe and give them up for protection-

Or. Evil ending. Things go wrong and Flood has to take them because of the city threatening or even attacking Luna for their origins. Making her a symbol of what happens when city cats mix with warriors, maybe even spin as the warriors coming in and taking the kits for themselves. Again evil terrible option that will set back the little amount of neutrality the clans have with the city cats by a lot. But also drama.

Very intrigued by wherever it will go! Loving the discussion and how mature it is if that makes sense? These are two young cats in a very difficult situation who made an impulse decision and now have to deal with it in whatever way they will. Even in a better world, where the city cats and clans were less hostile, it’s still a hard situation to find a solution for which makes it all the more interesting

hehe I can't make much comment but you're spot on with one of these.

And thanks! That's what I was going for, a really shitty situation that could have been avoided but isn't clearly the fault of one party or the other. Unfortunately, sometimes that's just how relationships go.

[todayisdeadinside]

so the thing about building community is you do have to actually actively participate in the process. the awkward stages. the hard part. you will, probably, have to be the FIRST person to initiate conversations or reach out to others in the space youre wanting to community build in, be it online or in person.

and yeah, i get it, its scary to leave a comment on someones post if you arent already friends. its scary to dm someone youve never dmed before. its scary to reach out because theres the ever-looming fear of rejection, that people will find you annoying or trying too hard. and ykw? that might happen. it might. but more often than not, the other person wants to connect just as much as you do, and theyre just slightly more scared about initiating.

so go for it. be the first to start a discussion with someone. be the first to reach out. ask to be friends. interact with cool strangers. go put in the effort and push through the awkward stages and youll be so pleasently surprised by the community you have at the other end of it all. i believe in you.