#THERE'S STILL 11 MONTHS TO GO AND YET I DONT THINK ITS ENOUGH TIME TO PREPARE MYSELF

[boxheadpaint]

oh god when did i diary post last. Well as good a time as any

another year older today, though birthday festivities are actually taking place yesterday and tomorrow due to conflicting schedules and hannukah party stuff. spending this last week of DEMBER watching found footage / mockumentary horror and doing my best not to worry as much as usual to varying levels of success. still need to get refill on blood pressure meds because sleep is annoying again thanks.

joycon controller journey where in the end i grab those ergonomic ones which they only had the pokemon print ones in stock but theyre very nice. they make my switch wide and intimidating and it doesnt hurt to use which im not sure why i ever got used to that for normal joycons? I can take a few guesses though namely being yay videogames and being good at ignoring pain until its gone for a bit.

waiting back for exciting surgery news though knowing state health that wont be for a while! in the mean time just gonna look at fish and have a beautiful time. didnt actually super celebrate christmas this year, stayed home with partner. did have a gift from my mom (MICHEAL FATCAT VOLUME 2 LETS FUCKING GO. And a book on color combinations) for it and another for my birthday (immensely sexy natural illustration book) which was very nice and makes me happy. since she moved to mexico our schedules dont line up as well from timezones but the few calls we have had are nice. she got a puppy that made me cry over video from the smallness.

at this point i miss digital art enough that i am willin to brave the overheating and bluescreening of my surface again but maybe instead i could set up some stand made of welded paperclips or something so it can sit up and breathe again. Mom gave me her old one but its windows 11, then theres the yogas that doug has where one doesnt work with my pen and says ACTIVATE WINDOWS in the corner because it was probably some sensitive work thing while the other yoga has like. a mystery charger we have yet to find. we will likely try to downgrade moms from the windows 11 shit as best we can but god im not confident in it.

Every month i think i need to stop worrying about what people will think of my art, that their interpretations dont matter and i am doing what makes me happy and what keeps me interested. i also manage to forget this every month around the same time. i miss drawing very very quickly to make stupid funny pictures for people, its a lot better at conveying how i feel and think than trying to pull from my limited vocabulary. written words are basically just another kind of picture that are funny and dont make any sense in any order you say them and will never get across what you are trying to say.

okami HD was 5 dollars on the switch. its been a lot of fun to play through it again after all this time- when i was a kid i thought after orochi i beat the game and that whatever else was going on was a weirdly long postgame. i stopped at the VERY near end of act 2 because of the fucking blockhead warrior guy was impossible for me. i was trying to get footage of the weakpoints on a flipphone with my family behind me like mission control. now that im an adult man with reading comprehension and a smaller screen with a built in screencapture function im sure i will get just as mad as i did back then.

12/28/2024, I keep accidentally not hydrating enough day-to-day and i still need a shower. gonna go fuckin water mode

[just-your-average-shiz-student]

Wicked: For Good November 21st

[saintobio]

HELLOOO FINALLY GOT TO SEND AN ASK!!!

first of allllll…. i think the time momjo sending the child guardian paper (?) that satoru typed out of anger is a hint…. and then satoru telling yn that sachiro called akemi mama… this honestly hurts alot more, imahine carrying your baby for 9 months, taking care of baby sachiro for 3 years alone, all the sleepless nights… and sachiro just ugh u dumbass small brain toddler (literally). anyways, satoru looking at akemi during suguru and shoko’s wedding, his hand rubbing akemi’s stomach at the cabin when she was in pain. honestly this part was akemi faking her pain or…? cuz there was a line that said after satoru asked if she wanted to go home her face didnt show anymore pain ? lololll idk. i dislike (hate) gojokemi but i think theyre gonna be endgame with all these theories coming up oh godddd. and the way yn threw the necklace into the lake, satoru went to search for it but did he manage to find it ? no. but during sn yn (well, suguru) found gojos wedding band. so in sy, yn threw away satoru’s “heart”, and it was never found again, thats a hint (?) bruhhh i hate thissss (i love this so much actually it made me feel so much i love u saint) i also recall the first time satoru and akemi first did it together he said smthg like i could learn to love u ? if i remember correctly. and the morning at the cabin after yn and gojo did it, yn was crying bcs they had a heartfelt talk ? and u mentioned they both felt guilty. the guilt is…. yeah.

BUT ALSO, satoru once said that yn has always been the one, sera when she saw gojo after forever told sukuna that he looks different when hes being with akemi, like hes not being himself? but that was when they first got together so idk about now. him not calling gojokemi exclusive. oh how they were happy and loving when yn got pregnant 🥹 but well it lasted until… yeah. also u said something about gojo gonna be on his knees again, since yn is now depressed and suicidal, i think for her heart disease shes gonna sign a DNR, then satoru on his knees maybe begging the doctors idk gawd idk someone mentioned dnr and i just… 🙂 its not that she wanna leave sachiro either, but i think shes telling herself everything will be better if she dies since sachiro, still very young, doesnt even really remember yn (just why sachiro) and called akemi mama… also why the hell didnt gojo use protection when fucking akemi oh gawd pls hate u satoru if she gets preggo.

anyways, i cant wait for gen to be back. i love u gen and ian.

oooh i also remember that you said there was a scene that inspired the birth of sn/sy, was it in chapter 11 ? or we’re not there yet…

honestly why dont yn just join shoko and suguru and be in a happy poly relationship ever looollll just kidding. my heart hurts, im still all in for gojoyn endgame but it doesnt seem realistic. ive been cursing gojo and akemi ever since the chapter came out loolll gotta give myself credit for being able to do my exams while still thinking bout this. 💀

omg there’s a lot to unfold here idk where to start 😭 but i just wanna say, it’s amazing how you’re so thorough in remembering those details in sn/sy bcos i honesty don’t have enough attention span to do that !!! sdjsj now while i can’t answer everything you mentioned, i can say a few things:

- akemi isn’t faking her pain, she’s truly struggling from it

- gojo doesn’t want kids outside of marriage (or should i say if not with yn), so he’s definitely careful with it.

- yes, it is indeed sy11 that birthed the sequel :’) i had that scene in mind before sn was even finished

[verpineshatterrifle]

okay so your post abt alpha-17 and the other alpha arcs got me thinking (and im sorry for using you as sw google but in my mind you're Alpha Legends Lore mutual) who ARE the oldest clones? I feel like everything got... really confusing with a bunch of super secret REAL first clones getting shuffled into the order. is boba the oldest? in my mind it goes 1 boba 2 nulls 3 alphas 4 the rest of the initial clones that obi-wan saw in aotc but I have no bloody clue 😭

I AM HONORED TO BE YOUR LEGENDS LORE GOOGLE MUTUAL

ok so. sources probably conflict bc this is star wars, of course they do. what i care about is repcomm so we're just gonna go with that as our primary source with wookieepedia as secondary sources

first we gotta get some dates. unfortunately star wars doesnt really give months for most dates but years is still a starting place. these dates are all pulled from wookieepedia, legends page when applicable/different

also we're using geonosis as our date reference point since the timeline is honestly so hard to work with

order 66 happens 19 bby

1st battle of geonosis, 22 bby, the clone wars are 3 years long

boba fett's birth date is listed as 32 bby, meaning he was 10 at geonosis. cody, rex, ordo, fi, spar, and sull are all also listed with a birth date of 32 bby, so we're down to a difference of months here. essentially they're all the same age though- boba himself, troopers, nulls, commandos, and alphas

I REPEAT. ALPHA IS NOT SIGNIFICANTLY OLDER THAN THE CORE OF THE GAR. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. HE ISNT THE ONLY ALPHA EITHER.

but who's actually oldest? and is wookieepedia entirely correct? this is the part where i open repcomm and ignore everything else. i don't even know if anything else contradicts because i'm not checking

chapter 1 of triple zero, kal has just arrived on kamino. it's eight years before geonosis, and 2 years into the cloning program

(ALSO ITS SO FUCKING GREAT THAT THIS IS KAL'S INTRODUCTORY LINE LMAOOO <3)

he does see a lot of clone babies in gestation vats, just like we see in attack of the clones as well as cadets of varying ages- the kaminoans continue producing troopers through the entire ten years of the cloning program, so yes, the 'first generation' (clones deployed at geonosis) ARE older than a lot of later clones. but we dont really have a lot of those later clones as named characters as far as i know

anyways

the nulls appear to kal to be 4 or 5 (also peep jango apparently being legitimately shocked by them)

chronologically the nulls are NEARLY two, which probably means like 1 year and 11 months or something

(pause for me to cry about this entire scene, 'kal was instantly proud of all of them,' 'how would you like to be called ordo, he was a mandalorian warrior,' kal teaching them to embrace their fear as a mechanism their body uses to help protect them, but this is gonna be long enough as it is)

and then we have jango showing up with boba. no real indication of if boba or the nulls are actually older, but it's implied that they're very very close in actual age, if not the same age. we also get mention of the commandos and the alphas.

now, this is now just down to what i think and what makes sense to me. the whole point of the nulls is that they were experimental units- the kaminoans wanted to see if tinkering with the genome would be worth it, and ultimately decided it wasn't. it would actually make sense to me if the nulls were at least a year or two older than the rest of the clones- the kaminoans need time to see if their experiment panned out, don't they? but the nulls are also 10 at geonosis

while the nulls have been flash-trained and put through some trial runs at this point, it's indicated that the alphas and commandos aren't quite ready for training yet. this could be because the alphas and commandos are just a bit too young yet, it could be that the kaminoans put the nulls through training at a younger age than they're doing for non-experimental units. not totally clear

this is another point that is important to me: multiple times the nulls pass for clone troopers. i keep seeing headcanons of them being noticeably taller/bigger than other clones and while it is true that they're canonically slightly heavier, i think the difference is probably like 10-20 pounds, most people cannot easily tell the difference. ordo puts on corr's armor and just notes that it's slightly tighter than he's used to. mereel infiltrated kamino in trooper armor unnoticed, even while directly speaking to a kaminoan

here is my opinion on it: -the nulls and boba are basically the same age -the alphas were created next, but a few months after. by this point the kaminoans had decided (possibly because of the nulls' high mortality rate in gestation) that the alphas would be fully unaltered aside from the accelerated aging. the nulls' behavior 'issues' proved to the kaminoans that this was the right call -the commandos were created at the same time or shortly after the alphas. we're talking within weeks if not days. they have minor genetic changes to work better as a team but that's about it. -the troopers then begin production, now that the kaminoans have lots of practice altering jango's genome. heavy alteration for better social cooperation and obedience. -we're talking a span on like 4 months for all of this

you could say that ordo's gray hairs support the nulls being maybe 4-6 months older than everybody else, but i really think he is just that stressy, and there's also book evidence for clones actually aging at variable rates depending on how much stress they're under

quick note for omega: i think her existence is just insane and she's only here because disney was making a children's show and needed a child character (and girl so they can get inclusivity points), but i could see her being made anywhere from at the same time as boba to up to 3 years later. her wookieepedia page doesn't say, because the bad batch never bothered to give us any concrete information on... anything.

WE ARENT EVEN TOUCHING ON EMERIE. WHAT THE FUCK

[scourgefrontiers]

so me and eden talked about it and ive decided to take a sort of internet break with her, just for a week or so. i hate hate hate being so dependent on the internet (particularly social media) for both entertainment and socialization and i feel like being online so much and relying on it for SO LONG (since i was maybe 11?) has really been detrimental to my mental health. and since ive made rent for this month i feel like now is a good time to just step away for a bit.

i still unfortunately rely on the internet for my livelihood--i HAVE to take commissions in order to make rent, provide food, etc, so i wont stop posting art or taking commissions! i'll just be less social i guess. i wont make any posts or reblog anything, i'll just be posting art and contacting ppl abt commissions.

i want to spend more time with my wife. i want to go outside more. i want to hang out with irl people more (i literally have no irl friends). i want to go to meetups. i want to disconnect from the internet so bad i HATE relying on it as much as i do. i mean this so unironically i want to touch grass again

im ngl. i also talked w eden about possibly starting up an irl small business for my art--something along the lines of basically being a caricature artist again, but this time self employed. i'd have my own brand and go to parties and draw people, and volunteer at the local children's hospital sometimes too and draw the hospitalized kids. im honestly just trying to think of ANY job that would help me ease up on being so reliant on social media for income, if possible, that would still be fun for me and not absolutely kill my mental health like my previous irl jobs did. dont get me wrong i love drawing yalls ocs! but i cant charge as much as i should be b/c i dont have enough of a following/demand, so i have to take a lot of commissions before im able to make a decent living. it sucks.

if i could charge more to where i only had to take maybe 3 commissions a month in order to make rent, thatd be ideal. id still love to do commissions for a living! i love drawing your blorbos and i honestly dislike the idea of going back to caricature art--its not my passion by a longshot and its very stressful to do live art so quickly. but im just trying to think of anything to help at this point u_u i cant get on ssi b/c then we wouldnt be able to use my bank account for income and we'd basically have No Money To Do Anything Freely Anymore. so i gotta just. stick with what im doing. IDEALLY id be able to take commissions and post art while not being necessarily Active on social media anymore, but idk how to make that work just yet or if thats even a thing i could do..

anyway. TL;DR im going to take a semi-break from social media/the internet for about a week, but i'll still post art + take commissions + accept messages from close friends on discord. i want to HEAL, man

[lov-eable]

TELL ME  ֗ ˖ ࣪ ᩠ ༉‧₊˚ ✿ #05

━━ a filmmaker decides to follow and document the lives of the worst and best students at your school for a month, unfortunately, those students are you and chishiya, the most annoying guy on earth.

masterlist ◌*ꕤ

word count ✦ 1013

A/N: pls dont hate chishiya quite yet....... he and reader are both complicated and flawed characters!!!!! i dont feel rlly happy about this chapter but i guess its the buildup for the more interesting ones lol hope u like it!!!! likes and reblogs are always nice <3

06/11/18 9:25

You felt anxious. You had to return the book before the school day ended, and you had to face the consequences of it. Although it wasn’t entirely your fault, you surely would be punished. There was no case in insisting you did not tear the page, Chishiya wouldn’t take the blame ever, and even if he did, no one would believe that narrative, because he was the loved one, the best student and you were one step away from being a high school drop-out. 

You still could not understand how basically everyone, teachers and students so appreciated him. Sometimes you imagined how everyone at this stupid school would circle around him and sing an ode to him as if he were a triumphant gladiator who had just returned from the war and had returned honour to his people. You guessed your classmates had previously decided in a secret meeting they would ignore any of his sarcastic remarks or just straight-up mean comments, and instead of hating him, they would kiss the ground he walks on. The truth was, this side of him, annoying without a break, was for you and only you. We can’t deny he wasn’t the most friendly man ever but the meanest thing he had ever done to others, apart from you, was ignore their invites to hang out after school. But you were not aware of this, of course.

However, your mind was busy enough to be thinking about Chishiya. You were tired and scared. The whole weekend you visited different bookstores with Kuina around the town to find the exact same copy of the book you had borrowed from the library, but it was a lost case, no one had it. “I think we should stop searching, we already visited all the libraries and bookstores around here! Twice!”, “Kuina, I’m going to die, I’m serious” you pouted. You were sulking the whole way home, you tried your best to not put an end to your quest, but Kuina was right, your legs were sore from all the walking and you felt as if you were about to pass out from the heat. Only you would walk through the whole city at the very start of summer, and only Kuina would help you in your crazy adventures.

The emotional torment did not stop there as you could not rest when you got home. You didn’t sleep all night, torturing yourself with your thinking. Most people perceived you as someone easy-going who never got stressed or anxious, but it wasn’t true, this messy self now crumbling in bed because of a concern most students would resolve without troubling themselves was your authentic version. But these crises occurred behind the scenes, you had to keep your carefree facet in front of others, it was the sole reason you kept good relationships with almost every one of your classmates, right? 

Kuina and Arisu were the only ones who were able to see through that mask you perfectly crafted to be liked, that’s why they tried to support this time, knowing how much you got worried by matters of this nature, everyone else just caught the aftermath; you sleeping through most morning lessons. For them, it was just your usual lazy worst-ranked student behavior, disinterested in whatever the professor was teaching, but in fact, you were recovering those lost sleep hours. You didn’t even sleep all morning, you attempted to distract yourself by writing some poems, at first, it only distressed you more, tearing apart pages from your notebook and crumpling them into little paper balls. Nevertheless, you concluded a bunch of verses you were pleased by, so now was time for a nap.

You were twenty minutes into your nap, that was what Chishiya could estimate at the moment. He tried not paying attention to you, but he struggled. He did not care that much about you, or at least he insisted on that, but he was really intrigued by you. It was the first time you seemed to be concerned so noticeably about something in front of someone. He never fell for that free-spirited reckless role of yours, he saw you. He saw you when you were four years old, and then fourteen and now you were about to be eighteen, it was difficult for him  to not notice. Again, he never cared about you that much, but his sight got drawn by you sleeping surrounded by many paper balls.

As much effort as he put into ‘not caring’ about you, he took one of the plastic bags he kept into his backpack for trash-collecting purposes and started gathering the paper to throw it into the bag. ‘Who am I?’ ‘What am I doing?’ ‘Why am I doing this?’ were some of the questions which crossed his mind, he had two excuses, first of all, no one, not even you, the most annoying yet interesting person in the whole room, deserved to nap around litter and second, maybe he felt guilty and bad for you. There was one piece of paper which was not wrinkled, but he assumed you got way too stressed to even bothered by it.

He started ripping the paper in pieces and, since you were a light sleeper, that tiny noise woke you up. You glanced at him bewildered but also angry, especially angry. As one would expect, you guessed Chishiya did it on purpose, he probably had read your poem, laughed at you in his head and proceeded to tear it apart. “Why are you always ripping apart everything I care about? Do you hate me that much?” Chishiya got the urge to deny the statement with the head, but was paralyzed, he did not even stop to read it. He fucked up even more. You noticed how everyone turned to you, witnessing the dispute between you and Chishiya. No one would have bat an eye in any other occasion but it seemed more serious and less playful than most times. You left the classroom by the back door, feeling burdened by all the negative attention.

tags: @surshica @enslique @httpsimmy @elernity @eshtravagent @fishisahappydog @kreishin @vernon-dursley @mhyunri @thenightsflower @madjz @saiewithakatana @yeosangiehwa @xiaoishwrites @seloise @justhere105 @naegisimp @mxbrahms @chlooooop @woodandwaxwings @huachengsbestie01 

[jasminesnmoonsnfeathers]

congratulations

4.24.24, 11:46pm, Wednesday.

congrats - the sand has fallen through the hourglass. here we are arriving at the Truth. time and time again I arrive but don't face it. but this time Truth has grabbed me by the face and forced me to look at it in its entirety. no more dreaming, no more running. facing. and even with swollen eyes I can see.

being cruel to someone who isn't even here anymore. neither of them are. fighting fire with fire and there's nothing to burn. it's already ashes.

I mourned Sama, the prideful part of me doesn't like to admit to what extent. its embarrassing and I hate the thought of letting someone have so much over me. hate the thought and I hate admitting it. and I dont think anyone will ever know, besides God, how much I truly mourned. it was full on grief. one of the most difficult losses of my life. but they say the greater the love the greater the loss, and I loved with my entire soul and so I had lost everything. and to know I loved someone so much, for so long, and now its tainted into cruelty, hurts. I loved with wide hopeful eyes, but then things became dark and painful that night in 2020. and I became dark and painful too. and now its just plain cruelty.

••••

I couldn't sleep in my room when we broke up. I am not sure why. I physically couldn't. I love knowing the why to everything - figuring out the science and logic behind it. rationalizing it. but I couldn't really figure out why I couldn't be in my room, I just knew that every time I went in there I winced a little. and stood in one place staring, or sat on my bed just staring. I could only really handle being there during the daytime. and as I type this I am reminded of a similar situation of my old house in Portside. I believed there was a jinn haunting my room and it got so bad to the point that I would be scared to be there at night. I only had the courage to go during the day. I guess it felt like he was haunting it too, in a way.

I was finally able to move back into my room one night after talking to him on the phone. I think this was about a week later. but I could sense he just wanted to move on. I wasn't able to sleep for months. I woke up in a panic a lot with my heart palpitating. I would wake up with a hole in my chest every morning. I could just feel you missing. I had to face a lot of physical anxiety and I'm surprised my body didn't just give out. God I was so sad. but then things started getting better, the hole slowly went away. but yet you still took up so much space in my heart.

but that was the problem. you took up so much space in my heart and it wasn't reciprocated, not in the same way at least. you only loved me when I was leaving you. only loved me when we went long periods without talking. only loved me when you missed me. there's a saying that goes,

"you can love someone so much, but you'll never love someone as much as you miss them."

and I feel like that was your love for me. the guilt you had was keeping your love for me alive. that isn't love.. that is bargaining. you don't have to bargain anymore. I don't have to forgive you to move on. we can end on bad terms and still move on with our lives with peace. no more guilt no more shame. if that's the only reason you loved me, I don't want it. love isn't supposed to run on guilt. you're not supposed to feel like you owe me something. love is supposed to be free flowing and natural. not something you exchange lessened guilt for.

••••

I know you have let go. I know you are looking for someone who is good enough for you. to you, I wasn't. but I am good enough. and I hate that I let a boy make me feel this way. I can't remember the last time I cried as hard as I did the night you threw my lost friendships in my face. It was so premeditated, that comment. a long paragraph reminding me of my failures. a long paragraph written to hurt me. and it did. I have lived my life second guessing if I was being too sensitive about those people I let go of. and I had finally come to a place where I felt good about cutting those ties that were holding me back. cutting those ties that were making me feel awful about myself. I got to turn over a new leaf and be better than I was when I was friends with them. be a better friend to other people.

and then I had the person I loved, who I considered a friend, bringing me right back to second guessing myself. to thinking I am the problem, I am the failure, I deserve to be let go of. no matter how much I vented to you about this, no matter how much you knew it hurt me, you threw it in my face. so easily. how could you? its funny, how something a person takes 2 minutes to type can just ruin the other persons world in that moment. I read "and while I'm here, ima be even more disrespectful back since you're disrespectful" (paraphrasing) my heart dropped because I had no idea what was coming next, just that I knew it would hurt. and it did. my eyes were practically swollen shut in the morning from crying so much.

you were hurt, so you went the lowest you possibly could go. I hope you feel good about yourself. I hope you get all the girls you ever wanted, and not have to keep leaning on your dumb ex you don't even like to make yourself feel better. good job, you got what you wanted. but you are trying so hard to make me hurt, and are forgetting that that is all I ever do.

[hirokiyuu]

thinking abt yuujins fam

current ages assume yuujin is 17 (ie the age at which they wound up in twst at the v start)

papa

i dont have a name for this guy yet

he/him, 50s i think

has some sort of job that keeps him away from the house 90% of the time. i dont THINK he works overseas but he either a) works in tokyo living in his own apt bc the cost of a shitty leopalace is less than the commute time to their place in kanagawa or b) might be like. a train driver? was the other one i was thinking of????? lmao. either way he's only at the actual family home like one weekend every few months. its always a big deal when hes home

loves his wife+kids but desperately overworked. would like to be home more often but doesnt have the money at any local jobs to stay near them. gaman attitude to life

only child i think

hikari (mama)

she/her, 50s as well but a little younger than papa

office worker. one of those horribly overworked kinds. probably works in yokohama and has to commute like two hours a day. gone by the time most of hte kids wake up, home late enough she doesnt see them either.

loves her kids a lot but overindulgent. spoils all of them but also relies a little too much on yuujin (guy who is like :) i like cooking and helping mama! as a kid. not realizing he is signing himself up for The Horrors) does understand its not normal but yuujin doesnt complain so she doesnt do anything and also kind of cant given that she is again, horrendously overworked

wanted a lot of kids her whole life. adores them all. wishes she could have more time to tkae care of them but as we all know, The Cost of Living In Japan

yuujin goes here. 17, he/him (eventually they/them), if u need me to say moer than you have not been following my blog

mitsuki

she/her, 15

first year of high school

Extremely self-centered. well aware her ability to get out of hte house w/o having to rely on their parents ever releis a Lot on her being self-sufficient and is trying to play into her own strengths. also just hates being home so she's out doing Overachiever Things a lot but also going to karaoke and making friends and spending as little time at home as possible

will stay up to get allowance from mom, who should not be giving it to her but does bc she loves all her kids a bit too much

mutsumi

she/her, 13

yuujin's best friend. lmao.

chubby otaku. got bullied a lot in grades 5/6, situation got somewhat better in middle school but still doesnt really have any friends besides yuujin

shy + meek, doesn't know how to talk to people. wants to help yuujin more around the house but having so little self confidence means she needs a Lot of handholding and ends up creating more work for him so hes usually just like. go sit down and then tell me abt w/e manga youre into rn

only one that knows yuujins gay, a secret she guards w/her life

ruito

he/him, 11

sixth grader. loooooves yuujin more than anyone in existence! this is Not a Good Thing

sporty, thoughtless, jealous. wants yuujins time but yuujin has no time to give, which manifests in him being mad that mutsumi is the clear favorite and trying to bother yuujin when yuujin is Doing Other Things.

the next ones are more tenuous. i was thinking of yuujin as eldest of seven which i think means One of these needs to be a set of twins but idk which one and what would be most fun. i have runa + the problem child more set in terms of personality but the last kid is like....... so ambiguous theyre just floating midair to me u kno

runa

she/her, 9 or 10?

fourth grader. loves idols and wants to be one

does Not have the money to be an idol fan but through the power of begging and having an overindulgent mama has a semi-decent collection of merch. this drives yuujin insane

less problem causing than some of the other sibs but still causing problems. u kno how it is

youngest child

he/him so far, 5?

first grader. Terrible

bitey. wants to Go. immense handful. cause of every single one of yuujins headaches. constantly trying to run out of the house into traffic, thinks its funny when yuujin has to chase after him. probably in trouble for behavioral problems at school All the Time

ambiguous other child

moody type?

identical twin. probalby will develop a complex abt this in several years time (if youngest's twin) or has already started to (if runa's)

a ltitle bit forgotten given how many strong personalities are ni the fam. will occasionally lock themself up in their room if neglected tho which Causes Probelms and yet givs them attention which thereby reinforces the behavior lol

anyways. thoughts. i have them

[technowoah]

if you're taking asks for the prompts, can you do 11 and 17 from the angst list with george but have a fluffy ending? she/her pronouns pls

I Can Make It Right

SHSJS I HAVE SO MUCH ANGST IN MY INBOX YALL!

Thanks for the request babe! The way it came out was gender neutral i dont think I user she/her, but it still works trust me!

George x reader imagine (established)

11) "It's not important apparently"

17) "You already made me feel like shit so might as well finish me off"

⚠︎ angst with happy ending, unresolved issue but they're gonna fix it dont worry 😌, angry George, swearing

*** = flashback

Masterlist

You had stood infront of your bathroom mirror finishing up your makeup for the night. Your hair was already done and you had a nice outfit on, not to fancy and not too comfortable. While listening to a playlist George had made for you, you had put down the brushes you were using. It didnt really matter if you cleaned up your makeup that was littered all over the sink right now, but right now you were feeling good.

Today was your and George's 3rd year anniversary and you couldn't be happier about it. Today you two were going to dinner and doing something else which was supposed to be a surprise for you. It was a night on the town.

George and you met 4 years ago actually. You two started out as acquaintances, the slowly grew into friends and then one day he asked you to join him to dinner. At first you were oblivious to his actions, thinking he was just being a good friend, but turns out the more dates you two went on the more you caught on. He officially asked you to be his girlfriend 3 years ago today.

His friends keep on pressuring George to propose already, they think it's been long enough. The only thing close to marriage is a promise ring. He put the ring on your finger as a promise that one day he would marry you, everytime you doubt that he will propose you turn your attention to the cute ring on your finger.

You had turned off the bedroom lights and sat on your bed finally relaxing after struggling to find a decent enough outfit for tonight. George said that he was going to pick you up around 6:00 and now it is 5:47 so you had some time to spare.

You had found yourself scrolling through tiktok because you had nothing else better to do at this moment. It was a guilty pleasure of yours even though you and george both joked around about hating tiktok.

Time began to tick away so you had checked the clock on your phone which said 5:57 pm. You had grabbed shoes that you set up against your bed, slipped them on and grabbed all of your belongings for the night. You stationed yourself in the living room waiting till George came to the door.

Nervousness always came up before a date, it was the anticipation actually. You were excited and nervous about the date as you always were, but today for you was special. It was three years worth of beautiful love. You remembered the time he first said I love you too, it was just like it was yesterday.

***

"Hey y/n." George looked towards you. You both were sitting on a plaid, plush blanket with a brown woven basket ontop in between you two. It was just like the movies and that why you cringed because of how cheesy it was when George led you to it.

It was sweet, it was extremely sweet and you loved these dates that George always brung you too. You always felt special when you are sitting next to him.

You responded to George. "Yeah Gogy?" You laughed at the use of his nickname.

"Im trying to be serious right now and you call me Gogy." George smiled and shook his head. "Anyways, you know I love you, right?"

"Of course I do-"

"No I love you. I mean. I'm in love with you." George reached to rest his hand ontop of yours and repeated himself. "I'm in live with you y/n."

You wasted no time answering. "Im in love with you too."

***

6:03

George didnt show up yet, but there was no sweat. He was only 3 minutes late, maybe he ran into traffick. Your stomach was rumbling, but you didnt want to eat yet since you two we're planning to go to dinner. Patience is key, and it wasnt like he wasn't late before.

6:10

You started to get worried, it's been 10 minutes and still no sign of your boyfriend. You had gotton up several times to check outside of your door only to be met with no one. Your mind was jumping to conclusions about if he forgot your anniversary, but you shut those thoughts out for the time being.

6:19

Okay this is getting out of hand. You brung out our phone and began to text George, you couldn't believe that you had waited this long before texting the man.

Where are you? Ive been waiting for 29 minutes?!

[Sent: 6:20pm]

George what are you doing?

[Sent: 6:20pm]

You awaited his text message with your phone faced up on the coffee table infront of you. You didn't want to believe that George woukd forget, or overslept, but that was becoming truth the more minutes passed by with no call or text.

6:30

Calling him was useless, because he didn't answer. He didn't hang up on you he just wasn't picking up the phone, like he turned it off. You started to get worried if something happened to him, if he was in a situation where he couldn't call or text you. You wondered if he was safe at home and not out in the middle of the street.

In a flash all your worries subsided when your phone lit up with a notification.

ThisIsNotGeorgeNotFound is live:

Im Playing golf with my friends

That son of a bitch. Pissed off was an understatement, you were fuming. How could he end up streaming at home when you had constantly reminded him about this day, he knew damn well about this day too. How could he?

You ended up grabbing a jacket and your purse and ended up driving to George's place. It seemed like he was mocking you in a way, he knew you had notifications on for Twitch. You loved to support him and his career, but this was making a fool out of yourself.

Your hand tightly gripped the steering wheel as you tried not to run every red light you cane across. You finally came across George's home, you found a place to park and quickly got out of your car and sped walked your way to George's residence. Finally making up to George's door you knocked harshly on the door probably making more noise than what you intended too. You continuously banged on his door until you got fed up.

Remembering that George had given you a key to his house you dig through your purse to get your set of keys out anr unlock his door. You stomped inside his house and closed the door behind you.

"GEORGE! GEORGE!" You yelled through the house. You were being reckless and annoying, but you didnt care at this point you were fuming and needed to tell George how you feel.

You had made your way to George's recording room where he was talking to his friends on discord. George looked towards you in shock clearly not hearing the sounds you were making throughout his house.

"Y/N?!" George yelled and muted his microphone.

"What the hell are you doing?" You exclaimed back.

"Im streaming thats what Im doing!" George sassed back at you, not paying attention to his screen and the chat.

"Dont get smart with me. End the stream."

"What?! No!"

"You heard me, we need to talk." You crossed your arms across your chest. Your heart was beating too fast for your liking and you tried to calm yourself down, but George's comments were getting to you.

George was about to unmute himself and get back to the game. "No we dont-"

"GEORGE END THE FUCKING STREAM! This is embarrassing! Talk to me cause you have some explaining to do." You snapped at him.

A silence tell upon you two and he glared at you before turning to his stream and closing it out.

"Okay guys! Go watch the other boys streams I need to go now! Bye!" George quickly ended and turned off everything.

He turned around to you still sitting in his chair. "What? What do you want?"

"Do you know what today is?" You asked.

"April 30th." George answered bluntly.

"Thats all you have to say?" You asked in shock. "It's our anniversary dickhead!"

"I fucking know that." George said.

"You do? So why did you start streaming and we had dinner plans?!"

"I told you we were streaming! You weren't listening to me!" George stood up from his chair when he said that.

"When the fuck did you tell me this?!"

"A couple days ago! You didn't listen!"

"But you knew that was our anniversary! And we made dinnerr plans-"

George yelled over you. "A month ago! We made those plans a month ago so excuse me for forgetting!"

"So all these other years you remembered our anniversary and went out of your fucking way to cancel other plans around that date, but today you didnt because why?!" Tears were threatening to fall down you cheeks, but you wouldnt let him see you like that.

"Because I planned this already with the boys! And AGAIN you werent listening to me when I said that-"

"There were several other times that you could've told me too! But you didn't!" You sniffed trying to keep the frustrated tears inside.

"I already planned this and I cant go back on my promise-"

"But you can with me?!" You yelled and George stopped talking. He's just studying your face at this point and you hated this silence.

"Its not important apparently." You said while walking out of the recording room.

"You're being a bitch." He mumbled.

"Excuse me?! That is so disrespectful!" You spun around yelled at him.

"You already made me feel like shit so might as well finish me off." George said in a annoying tone.

"Yeah you should feel like shit! I feel like shit too so-!" You threw your hands up in exasperation and stormed out the room. You had made it to the door before George called out to you again.

"Y/n! Y/n! Please!"

"No! Just..." You paused before opening the door and ushering your way out. "Call me when you get your shit together.

You were currently curled up on your couch eating leftovers that you had in the refrigerator. That had satisfied your hunger for the night because the dinner was canceled that night. Your anger and sadness had subsided and you were only left with an unusual feeling in your heart. Your relationship felt incomplete, this fight felt incomplete. You didnt break up with him, but you were waiting for closure.

The TV was the only light in the room. It illuminated what it wanted to, you didnt care if it was too dark. Usually you would be cuddled up with George at this ungoldy hour, but you weren't and that made you tear up.

Your sadness was still there, your anger towards George turned into pity. You were sad about the actions he took, but somewhere in your heart you could forgive him. You could forgive and move on if he would come to you.

Speaking of, you had a knock on your door. You didn't have the strength to get up, but you did. Shuffling your way to the door you sluggishly opened it to find George standing there with his hands in his hoodie. The person you wanted to see, but at the same time you wanted to slam that door in his face.

"Hey." George spoke and you gave him a small smile, nothing more.

You turned around to find your seat back on the couch where you were comfortable, but also giving him a silent invitation to come inside. You had sat down on the couch not paying attention to George, but you knew he closed the door, took off his shoes by yours, and put his keys on the table by the door like he always did. It was like a routine to him.

George ended up awkwardly standing beside the couch as you ignored him.

"You know, if you didnt open the door I would've used my keys like you did." George tried to spark up a conversation, but you only hummed in response. You were scared that if you spoke, you would cry.

George ended up making his way to the couch sitting beside you and pulling you into his embrace. Your head was on his chest and you began to sob. You missed this it's only been a few hours, but you had felt that in those few hours you had lost everything. You continued to sob into his hoodie as he rubbed your back and shushed you, whispering sweet nothings into the air only for you to hear.

"Im here, and Im sorry. Im so fucking sorry that I did this to you and I only hope that you can forgive me." George said, his voice cracking a little when he said that. You kept crying.

That's what you wanted to hear all along, that's what you needed. You could forgive him in due time, you always will because you love him, you will always love him. You both can always make it right.

[wizkiddx]

I lovelovelovelove ur writing. Was thinking if u could do one where readers relationship w tom exposed bcos someone recognises her but she isnt famous? And its all backwards and caught out sort of thing

thanks for being so kind! also I feel like me narrator-y voice has gone WAY too far, what do u guys think? I won't be offended promise I just think it sounds so fucking annoying rn

Tom Holland x reader

summary: you run into possibly the most infuriating family members the one time u and ur boy are showing PDA

warnings = none I think :)

///////////////////////

It was a late late evening, on the last train of the night towards manchester, the British countryside plunged into darkness that appeared as a blank, black canvas out the rounded-rectangular windows. 

And although the serene surroundings were calming, the regular and rhythmic movement of the carriage on the tracks - you were more on edge. Your relationship with Tom had yet to be revealed to the world - though you’d travelled as part of his extended entourage before under the guise of a ‘family friend’. So now it just being you, Tom, Harry, Andrew and Rachel - you felt more exposed. Of course, you were incredibly grateful that Tom had planned this weekend away for the two of you (after a work commitment, hence the presence of his manger, makeup artist and Harry). But it was scary.

Coming out of Euston station, the earlier time meant the train had been more of a hive of activity. Kids running up and down the aisle, inevitably recognising Tom and then asking for a photo. Enough that you’d had to move a few seats down the carriage, so no one would associate you travelling with the a-lister. 

But after you’d past Birmingham and the clocks past eleven pm, everything had quietened down and Tom convinced you to come and sit next to him on the table of four.  Andrew and Rachel were taking use of their little duo seat across for you to catch up on some well needed beauty sleep. They’d all been working with Tom doing promo for his most recent movie in London so it’d been pretty 24/7.

That left you, with all the energy, contrasting greatly with the two flagging Holland boys. 

“Lets play heads up!” You announced to the much less enthusiastic faces round the tables. 

“You can’t play that quietly and the whole carriage dont want to listen to you screeching.” Harry rolled his eyes whilst slightly ripping into you, then picking up his phone - thinking that would shut you up.

“I can play quietly!” You huffed, looking for Tom for backing… which never came. He didn’t even need to try and defend himself before you whacked his chest in false-annoyance. 

“ It’s not a bad thing, just passion.” Tom murmured, desperately attempting to sweet talk your round - which of course, was not going to happen. 

“No way! I’ll prove it to you!” 

“Nonono darling, look I’m tired.” He straight refused, wrappings his arms round your shoulders to try and cage you in. He ended up with his back pressed against the window and your back against his chest. “Lemme just relax with my best girl.”  You huffed in reply, worming round in his clutch before eventually giving up and relaxing your head onto his collar bone. For the reasons previously mentioned, you did not for a second believe he was serious with this PDA. Just sitting next to each other was risky enough,  now he was very clearly hugging you in a public place. Arching your neck back, you were shocked he already had his eyes shut - looking perfectly contented and relaxed. 

“T, are you serious?” You whispered, making him crack one eye open with a questioning look. Instantly he knew what you meant, I mean, it was him that was most worried about people finding out about you - for your sake. His horror stories of previous relationships hadn’t helped, to the point now only your mum dad and siblings knew about your relationship to Tom - mainly for the sole reason your nan was the biggest gossip in the world and could NOT be trusted. 

“Course love, it’ll be fine no ones around and I got my cap on. No one will notice us.”

Foolproof. Or so you both thought. 

And honestly for an hour or so you relished in the fact that in a public space, your boyfriend was showing you physical affection. It was exciting, which meant as Tom’s arms grew lax round you as he slumped slightly in the chair your energy only increased. No one else was being any use either - Harry had his head in his arms on the table and similarly neither Rachel nor Andrew were conscious enough to keep you company. Finally you settled on playing a game on your phone whilst also ever so softly wiggling round on Tom’s chest, purely because you enjoyed the little huffs and the way he’d squeeze you tighter as he snoozed. 

You were engrossed in shitty little iPhone game when a person who was walking down the aisle slowed down, drawing your attention away from the phone. And then your heart literally dropped because you instantly recognised your uncle and cousin, who was 12. Worse though, they had most definitely clocked you. 

Of all people, your uncle and boy cousin too. Possible the best (or worst depending on your point of view) at winding you up, at messing  with you, for genuinely causing all chaos and mischief with you. They were most certainly not going to be discrete. They’d rib you till your dying day. 

“Y/n?” Your uncle spoke first, noticing the that the group you with all seemed to be asleep, so at least trying to be a bit sensitive. Not that it mattered on Tom’s part though, you instantly bolted up and away from him, making him groan as he slowly woke up. 

“Er yeh, I-um  fancy seeing you guys here. Why were you in London?” Because yes half your family did live in manchester - a fact you felt slightly guilty about, considering you couldn’t fit in a quick and explainable reason as to  why you were in that area of the UK during a ‘pop in’. So you’d chosen to keep the whole trip a secret too.

“We’ve been at the footie, could ask you the same question.” Your uncle smirked, noticing toward Tom, who now was blinking his eyes heavily - looking with furrowed brows between the two of you. 

Because yes, the cap had been great to stop people recognising Tom. Neither of you were to expect it’d be you that’d be YOU stopped by someone who noticed you. 

“Oh um… well er this is my friend Tom, he’s got a work thing in manchester so thought I’d tag along. What was the score?” Yes you described your boyfriend of 9 months as a friend, when it was clear to everyone you were more than that. Though frankly, you still felt sick introducing him as ‘boyfriend’ - that itself was cringe as hell. The reference to football was an in-vain attempt to distract them with the most-boring-sport-in-the-world talk. If only Tom had kept his mouth shut. 

“Sorry mate” His voice was a little hoarse, making him force a cough before stretching his hand out. “I’m Tom”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Ritchie and this is Matt” Your uncle motioned to his twelve year old son who was smiling politely but his expression seemed to drop as he made eye contact with Tom. Blissfully unaware, Tom shook Ritchies hand your a soft smile. 

“How do you guys-“

“I’m her uncle. Tell you what, didn’t imagine bumping into my niece on the 11:30 train to manchester.” 

Tom’s face fell and he froze. You’d both been caught out. Massively. It couldn’t get worse, till it did. 

“Y/n is that Spiderman?” Because yes, Matt was prime Marvel fanboy age. And yes, of course his favourite hero was Spiderman. And yes, this would probably be the most exciting day of his life. And the most embarrassing of yours. 

It was at this point Harry was sufficiently disturbed, enough to make him sit upright whilst also backing away into the corner of the booth, watching from afar.

“I-uh” You didnt really want to say it, for the sake of that meant he was revealing this secret you’d guarded with your life. But at the same time, you had this overwhelming sense of pride for Tom because “yeh, yes he is spiderman.” Matt started jumping up and down like an overexcited boyband fan which made you laugh, heart swelling as Tom chuckled along beside you.

Yes by no means was this ideal. And yes you were now forced to tell your family (so ultimately the world) about your relationship. Maybe that wasn’t so bad though?

hope u enjoyed + thank you for reading <333

tagging: @hollandfanficlove @hallecarey1

[dearly]

Pete Wentz (6:39:20 PM): Hey Ryan Ross (6:39:39 PM): hey Pete Wentz (6:40:09 PM): Is this the guy fro poanic at the disco Ryan Ross (6:40:23 PM): yeah im ryan, is this pete? Pete Wentz (6:41:12 PM): Yeah Ryan Ross (6:41:18 PM): hey man Pete Wentz (6:42:37 PM): How arer you Ryan Ross (6:43:17 PM): im not bad, working on a paper for english. hows everything with the new record? Pete Wentz (6:44:37 PM): Going really well Pete Wentz (6:45:04 PM): How's everything wiht your band are those just remixes Ryan Ross (6:46:01 PM): awesome, yeah we only did those on my laptop because we cant get into a studio yet. but we still have alot of those parts live and full band Pete Wentz (6:46:25 PM): Does it have samples like that Pete Wentz (6:46:42 PM): How many people are in the band.... Are you guys all in hicghschool Ryan Ross (6:47:20 PM): do you mean do we use a sampler? our drummer uses a drum sampler which we put some of the stuff on, and he plays some of it Ryan Ross (6:47:43 PM): im in college. im 18 the other three of them are 17 and in high school Pete Wentz (6:48:26 PM): Like of the pure volume site songs what would not be part of your live show Ryan Ross (6:50:18 PM): well right now the synth stuff because we need a keyboard player. we are trying out a few guys soon though. and some of the drum parts are different. Pete Wentz (6:50:48 PM): I absolutely love the stuff Ryan Ross (6:52:16 PM): but we have two guitar players one sings and i play lead. its kind of hard to describe it. we are a rock band but about half of a song will be dance-ish or sort of 80s sounding Ryan Ross (6:52:28 PM): really? wow thanks alot man Ryan Ross (6:53:12 PM): it really is a huge compliment coming from you Ryan Ross (6:53:35 PM): i was actually really suprised you listened to it Ryan Ross (6:53:40 PM): i didnt expect you to see it Pete Wentz (6:54:00 PM): Is there some pics of you guys anywhere Ryan Ross (6:55:10 PM): no, we are taking them pretty soon for the website, its just not done yet. i have some just of me on livejournal. but thats wierd haha Pete Wentz (6:56:09 PM): Yeah fuck get some to me Pete Wentz (6:56:19 PM): I think I may come see you in californaia Ryan Ross (6:56:44 PM): really? Ryan Ross (6:57:08 PM): that would be awesome Pete Wentz (6:57:46 PM): I've been listeneing to those songs nonstop. Is the band a side thing or is it gonna be fulltime? Ryan Ross (6:58:20 PM): no its full time Ryan Ross (6:59:24 PM): well aside from school. which sucks Ryan Ross (6:59:32 PM): but we want to do this Pete Wentz (7:00:00 PM): When are those kids out of school Ryan Ross (7:00:26 PM): the drummer and bass player are graduating early. so like january and other guitarist/singer graduates in the spring Pete Wentz (7:01:16 PM): Nice Pete Wentz (7:01:23 PM): Do you know about my label Ryan Ross (7:01:46 PM): yeah i think i saw something a while ago on a journal entry, is gym class heroes the only band on it right now? Pete Wentz (7:03:10 PM): Yeah. I signed the academy. But they are fbr strictly gym class and I am looking for another Pete Wentz (7:03:33 PM): The cool thing about it is I just met with waner and they want both of the bands and to give me an imprint Ryan Ross (7:03:55 PM): oh cool i like the academy alot, oh i see yea i was going to ask you about that Pete Wentz (7:04:03 PM): Which pretty much means a lot more money to promote cool artists Pete Wentz (7:04:14 PM): You guys plays out a lot? Ryan Ross (7:04:39 PM): thats awesome man. actually no we just kind of started this thing up a few months ago, the show in victorville is going to be our first one Pete Wentz (7:05:51 PM): Really Pete Wentz (7:05:56 PM): Interesting Pete Wentz (7:06:11 PM): How much do you guys practice Ryan Ross (7:06:45 PM): we've been trying to figure out the best way to do this stuff live, and we've been having a hard time on figuring out how to make it sound good. depending on the place we might not be able to use all the electronic stuff that we want to do which sucks but alot of venues, at least here might have a hard time setting us up. we practice at

least 4 times a week so like. between 24-30 hours a week Pete Wentz (7:07:09 PM): Nice Pete Wentz (7:07:21 PM): I am gonna come to the show Ryan Ross (7:08:13 PM): we wish we could more often. but school is getting in the way. and it sucks cause parents think its a waste of time playing music and want me to focus on school. im sure you know how that is. Ryan Ross (7:08:23 PM): thanks alot man really Pete Wentz (7:08:55 PM): I do Pete Wentz (7:09:05 PM): What are peoples reactions to it Ryan Ross (7:10:04 PM): some good some bad. everyone is so into post hardcore stuff these days that some kids just brush it off. which is fine but then some kids like it cause its a little different i guess Pete Wentz (7:11:30 PM): Can that kid sing live? Ryan Ross (7:12:54 PM): yeah, he's been taking voice lessons for a little bit so thats starting to help him Pete Wentz (7:13:19 PM): Is he on? I mean on here he sounds awesome Ryan Ross (7:14:21 PM): yeah he's on pitch, we recorded that stuff with like a 100 dollar vocal mic. the only effects we used was pretty much reverb on the main parts. Pete Wentz (7:14:42 PM): Yeah sounds good kind of like patrick Pete Wentz (7:14:47 PM): I like it Ryan Ross (7:16:57 PM): yeah thats the only thing we get that alot. and thats just how the kid sings. we like your band but we dont want to sound like you guys, or be compared to fob all the time you know? but yeah he is aware that kids say he sounds like patrick so he's just trying different vocal stuff sometimes. Pete Wentz (7:19:06 PM): Here's the thing if I show you guys interest a lot of crappy labels are gonna come and do the same and I don't want a huge mess out there. I mean how interested are you guys in going fulltime when you can Pete Wentz (7:19:19 PM): Yeah you'll get eh patrock thing but how many people. Sound like hime Ryan Ross (7:19:47 PM): so you really think we've got potential then? Pete Wentz (7:19:54 PM): I do Ryan Ross (7:20:05 PM): i've wanted to play in a band for my job ever since i started high school at least. Ryan Ross (7:20:07 PM): we all want to do this Ryan Ross (7:21:05 PM): its like i cant put enough dedication into anything exept playing guitar and writing Pete Wentz (7:23:01 PM): I'm with you Ryan Ross (7:24:05 PM): but yeah. i cant see myself doing anything else but playing in a band, cause every job i've ever had ive hated it Pete Wentz (7:24:57 PM): You don't have a picture of the band Ryan Ross (7:25:44 PM): no, but if you need it i could have my buddy take some tomorrow at practice Pete Wentz (7:26:58 PM): That would be rad Ryan Ross (7:27:37 PM): okay we'll take some Ryan Ross (7:28:08 PM): are you online much? Pete Wentz (7:33:12 PM): Sometimes Ryan Ross (7:33:35 PM): okay, i was just wondering if this was your email incase you arent on i'll just send them Pete Wentz (7:34:17 PM): Yeah send it here for sure Ryan Ross (7:34:36 PM): okay Ryan Ross (7:34:55 PM): dude this better not be a joke, it better be you Pete Wentz (7:35:12 PM): It is Pete Wentz (7:35:34 PM): But there are a lot of fakers out there Ryan Ross (7:35:55 PM): okay. yeah i know someone has shown me like fake journals of you and stuff. thats creepy Ryan Ross (7:36:10 PM): thats why i asked if it was you for sure Pete Wentz (7:36:32 PM): This guy who is iming me is your manager Ryan Ross (7:37:03 PM): is it xxxtoughffxxx ? Pete Wentz (7:37:22 PM): Yeah Ryan Ross (7:37:38 PM): i dont know if he's our manager. he's our friend, he's been helping us out with a website, merch and the show in victorville Ryan Ross (7:38:35 PM): he's starting a company up and he wants to help us out Pete Wentz (7:43:04 PM): Ah I got t Pete Wentz (7:43:32 PM): It Pete Wentz (7:43:37 PM): You guys are awesome and if its what I think it is I want ti to be thenext academy Ryan Ross (7:44:58 PM): wow thanks alot. i hope you like the stuff live, its not completely different but it is different. i mean the singing is the same and all that. Pete Wentz (7:47:46 PM): cool Pete Wentz (7:48:06 PM): You guys look good. The chicks gonna be swooning? Ryan Ross (7:48:38 PM): once we get

a keyboard player who can do all of the sampling we want to do it will be alot better too. its like we know how we want to sound, but just finding the right way to do it i guess is what we are working on. Ryan Ross (7:48:40 PM): hahaha Ryan Ross (7:48:51 PM): i dont know man, we look alright i guess Ryan Ross (7:48:57 PM): we look young Pete Wentz (7:49:42 PM): Youngs not abd at all Pete Wentz (7:49:47 PM): How does the singiner look Ryan Ross (7:50:05 PM): dead sexy. Ryan Ross (7:50:41 PM): he's no pete wentz. but still Pete Wentz (7:51:42 PM): Hahaha Pete Wentz (7:51:54 PM): Goddamn as long as he looks cool.singing Pete Wentz (7:52:14 PM): For sure send me pics and all how many songs you guys have? Ryan Ross (7:52:39 PM): haha Ryan Ross (7:53:00 PM): kk Ryan Ross (7:53:54 PM): we've only got 4 right now, its been tough to write since school started and everyone's busier. and those are the first 4 songs we've written as a band. at the show we'll play those and a cover of new order maybe. or depeche mode. we dont know yet Pete Wentz (7:56:08 PM): Nice Pete Wentz (7:56:21 PM): I gotta run Pete Wentz (7:56:32 PM): But ill hit you on here later Pete Wentz (7:56:38 PM): Send me those pics and write the hits Ryan Ross (7:56:43 PM): okay dude. good talking to you Pete Wentz (7:56:43 PM): Peaaaaaace Ryan Ross (7:56:44 PM): hahaha Ryan Ross (7:56:47 PM): later man Pete Wentz is away from the computer as of 7:56:51 PM. Auto response from Pete Wentz: Igot99problems Pete Wentz is back at the computer as of 10:05:48 PM. Pete Wentz is away from the computer as of 10:06:23 PM.

[sweetiejunie]

It’s Because I Love you

Summary: Soobin dug himself into a hole and needed his bestfriend to help him out

Genre: Fluff, Friends-to-lovers, Slow-burn(ish)

Word count: ~10k (oops sry)

💕 Requested 

A/n: to the anon that requested this. I’m so sorry this took me forever... haha~ I hope you liked it! And writing this actually reminded how much i like writing these. Do you guys prefer these kind of longer fics or the shorter reaction type fics?

Warnings: Some swearing

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      “Y/n i fucked up.”

      Was first line that came out of soobin’s mouth when you opened the door. It wasn’t unusual for soobin to randomly show up at your place. But you really weren’t expecting his presence today, since you knew he would be busy packing to head home for the week break. You were about to greet him but before you could say anything, he beat you to it, his sentence laced with regret and panic.        “What did you do this time?” You answered, “aren’t you supposed to be packing?”        “I- excuse you what do you mean ‘this time’?” He mocked. “Okay, whatever, we’ll get back to that and yeah, i am, but I fucked up real bad,” he repeated.        “Huh?” You took a step back so soobin could enter. “Are you alright? What happened?”       “So you know how all my cousins and sibling are in a relationship right?” Soobin continued, making his way to your couch to sit down. Resting his head back against the cushions as he groaned.       “Yeah, what about it?” Tilting your head as the conversation got more confusing by the second. You closed the door behind you before joining him.        “Well... my brother just called me and may have been bothering me about being the only one that isn’t in a relationship...” he trailed off, “and erm, i may have said i... had a girlfriend. And now my family wants met her.”        You couldn’t help but burst out laughing at his confession, “you did what? You really dug yourself into a hole this time.”        Soobin was the youngest of his family. He was always the one that chose to focus more on his grades than actually making friends. Sure, he went to parties and drank every now and then, but other than that, he rarely did anything short of the ‘perfect son’. But despite all his efforts, there was always one thing his sibling could tease him about, and that was the fact that he was 21 and has never been in a relationship. Soobin always tried to not let this bother him, but i guess today, he just snapped.        “I really did,” he sighed. “That’s why i need your help.”        “How can i possibly help you out of this, soobin?” you ridiculed, glaring at him. “You do know that you’re one of my only friends, right? Meaning, I won’t be able to find anyone to play girlfriend with you.”         “Um, actually about that... i kind of told my family that my girlfriend goes to the same school as me and studies the same major as me. I also kind of told them that she has y/e/c eyes and y/h/c hair.” He sat up, looking for a reaction from you. Instead, all he saw was your blank expression, staring back at him. “Yeah so, if you hadn’t caught on yet, i might have, sort of, just described you to my family.”         Your eyes widened at his statement, you weren’t sure what to reply. You met soobin all the way back in high school, and you’ve stayed friends ever since — 5 years, 11 months, 23 days, to be exact. Not that you were keeping count or anything. You remember the first day you approached the shy boy, the new transfer student sitting at the back alone. He was the first friend you made there. And to makes things worse, you’ve had a crush on him, but you knew better than to confess and possibly ruin the friendship.         You’ve suppressed all your feeling since then. Maybe. Probably. Okay, no. But you’ve tried. And all this talk of ‘pretend girlfriend’ did nothing but make your heart start racing again.        “Why on earth would you do that!”        “I dont know! You were the first person that came to mind! So are you okay with doing me the favour of playing the role of my girlfriend?” Soobin said with a slight pout and puppy dog eyes. A move he knew you could never refuse, “You’re free this break, right?”        His sudden confession was like a blow to your heart. The first person that came to his mind... but it’s probably just because he didnt have many female friends, right?        “Erm...” you paused. The more you thought about his proposition, the more you found yourself weighing the consequences.        “Come on y/n. Please? We already get engaged every other week at clubs for free drinks. This won’t be that much different.”        “Would your family believe it? I mean, it’s me.”        “Sure they will. And it’ll be easy to fake it since you already know me.”        You paused for another second before replying. “Hm, right. Fine. But you owe me. Do i have to bring anything?” You were helping out a friend.         A friend. Nothing more, nothing less.        “Nope, just bring enough clothes. You don’t need anything too fancy,” he stood up, leaning down to give you a quick hug. As he walked towards the door, he looked over his shoulder before leaving your apartment. “Thanks for doing this, i really owe you. I’ll pick you up at 7 tomorrow after our classes, alright? See you then.”

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        After an hour, three outfit changes and completely unpacking and repacking your luggage twice, you were finally satisfied and ready to go. It was only a weeks worth of clothes in a small luggage, yet, you still found a way to overthink it. In the end, you had settled for a simple tee with jeans and a coat to keep you warm for the ride.         Already, you were beginning to regret your decision of going along with this whole ‘fake girlfriend’ act. It had nothing to do with soobin or his family. They were absolutely wonderful, his parents were kind, his siblings were fun and sweet and his baby nephew was, well, a baby. The only problem was what if your heart liked the idea of being his ‘girlfriend’ just a little bit too much?         You had met his siblings and parents a handful of times when they visited him at his apartment. They’ve always been nothing but nice to you, and now, you were going to have to lie to them. The more you thought about it, the more your mind was playing angel and devil with you. On one hand, you didn’t want to spend the weekend being dishonest and possibly screwing up the image soobin’s family had of you. But on the other, you wanted to be selfish and be able to call soobin yours, even if it were just for a few days.         You sighed quietly, sitting in your living room waiting for soobin to pick you up like he said he would. The entire day you had been unable to focus in your classes, whatever your lectures said just going right through your head. At this time on fridays, you would normally have found soobin dressed in any lounge wear he had, crashing at your place to watch whatever movie he found that week. But now, you were going to find him dressed up, ready to bring you to meet his parents. The relationship sure escalated quickly. Just as your mind started drifting further, your doorbell rang.        “U ready?” Soobin’s signature eye smile greeted you, his front bunny teeth exposed. You’ve always noticed how soobin’s appearance resembled that of a bunny, but no matter how many times you tried to tell him, he didn’t want to believe it.        “As ready as ill ever be,” you returned the smile, grabbing your luggage and locking your front door.        Well, this was it, no turning back now. Helping you with your things, soobin lead you to his car and started the journey. It was only about a 3 hour drive and a car ride proved to be a great distraction. You hadn’t been to soobins hometown before, so being able to look out the window and see the scenery was no doubt better than sneaking glances at soobin in the drivers seat. You just knew that if you saw soobin, with one hand on the steering wheel, and the other propped on the arm rest, you might have gone into cardiac arrest.        The ride was quiet for the most part, that was until soobin pulled up at a red light. “I made a playlist,” soobin flipped his phone around to show you and connect it to his car. “It’s like, if you were my real girlfriend, this would be the playlist i would share with you.”        You couldn’t help but smile when you realised how sweet soobin would be in an actual relationship. His future girlfriend is really lucky. But you had to control yourself, reminding yourself that it’s all just pretend for the week.        “I’m sure its great. You have great taste in music,” you faked a laugh. “Um... so... soobin? How exactly are we supposed to fake this? I mean, what we supposed to do? What will your family do?”        “Oh...” he started, his eyes focusing back on the road, the lights turning green again. “To be honest, i haven’t actually thought about that part yet.” Drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he thought. “Mmm, when my brother first brought his girlfriend home, my family teased him a lot, just to make fun of him and get her reaction. But they already did that with you whenever they visited me so... I’m not sure what they’ll do, honestly.”        “Oh...” That was completely unhelpful. Pulling your knees to your chest, you continued staring blankly out the window.        “Hey, don’t worry too much okay? We’ll just wing it like we do everything else. And that’s worked out for us so far, right?” Soobin chuckled, trying to comfort you. “As for what we need to do. I guess it’ll just be all that couple stuff like holding hands and hugging. And you’re already such a cuddly person, that shouldn’t be a problem for you. We got this, alright? And I’ll be with you the entire time.”        You nod a response, “yeah, we got this.”        On the outside, you tried to seem cool and composed. On the inside however, you were a mess. Sure, you and soobin already had your fair share of cuddles when he showed up for a movie night at your place. And on the days he was too lazy to go back to his dorm, you would find him whining and groaning for you to make him breakfast the next day. But now you were expected to act that way in front of his family? That was a whole new level of stress you didn’t think about when you agreed to this.         After a while more of driving, it was a little over 10pm when soobin finally pulled up alongside the curd in front of his house. The remainder of the car ride had been relatively silent, except for the playlist that soobin had made for you, and the occasional mindless singing you would start that turned into a carpool karaoke. Getting off, soobin unloaded his and your luggage and lead you to the front door.        Probably noticing your nervous state, soobin grabbed your shaking hands. “I’m right here alright?” He smiled, “it’s show time.”        With that, he rang the doorbell. And not 15 seconds later, soobin’s sister answered the door.        “Soobin!” She greeted, pulling him into a hug, “we’ve been waiting for you and- oh! Y/n! I knew it. Same major, y/e/c eyes, y/h/c hair. If it wasn’t you, i was about to kick his ass.”        “Hah, yeah, surprise?” You said, the last part sounding more like a question than a sentence.        “Aish, this boy. The previous night on the call, he just told us he’ll be bringing his girlfriend home, gave us a description but never told us who. Left us all to wonder who she was and well,” she chuckled, putting an arm around soobin’s shoulders, “if she even existed. I’m glad it’s you, the first time we met you, i already knew you two would end up together.”        “Wait, so you all took guesses on who it was?” Soobin chimed in, shooting a glare at his sister.        “Well, yea! All of us pretty much guessed y/n. Except for mom though, she’s kept quiet about it. But i guess it was just because she didn’t want to get her hopes up.”        Looking at soobins annoyed expression, you laughed. Shrugging of his sisters arm, soobin grabbed both your luggage, pushing past his sister and pulled them into the house. “Alright, alright, just let us in already, its freezing out here.”        “It’s nice to see you again y/n,” his sister said as she held the door open for you.        “Likewise.” You smiled before stepping in.        You’d never been to soobin’s house before. Sure, you’ve seen bits and pieces of it when the two of your FaceTimed over the holidays, but never in person. In the hallway where you stood, were the stairs that you presumed lead to the bedrooms. Sporadically placed were a few house plants that looked as if they had been watered quite recently.  The walls were littered with family photos, and most noticeably, soobin’s baby pictures. You smiled looking at them, taking a mental image of the cute, little baby this giant once was.        Closing the door behind you, soobins sister spoke, “you guys wait here. I think mom and dad are in the living room. I’ll go get them.”        As you saw her silhouette disappear towards one of the entries, you felt the nerves building up again, “soobin...” you tilted you head up to look at him, your face portraying nothing but worry.        “Don’t worry okay?” Taking your hand in his, gently squeezing for reassurance.“ Just follow my lead and pretend you’re in love with me. Which should be easy since I’m your favourite person,” he joked, in attempts to lighten your mood.        ‘Pretend to be in love with him’. Okay, shouldn’t be too hard, considering the fact that you actually were in love with him and spent years pretending not to be. “Yea, alright.”        Letting go of your hand, soobin walked forward to hug his parents when he saw them approaching.        “Soobin, we were starting to wonder how long more you would take,” his mom said. “How are you? How’s everything at school?”         “Everything’s fine,” he replied. Turning to you, he held out his hand for you to take. “Mom, dad, you know y/n.”        Accepting his hand, you stepped forward to greet his parents. Just hoping that your nervous trembling wasn’t too obvious to the naked eye.        “Ah of course! How could we ever forget,” his mom smiled.        “We always knew the two of you would end up together eventually. He’s always been so obvious about you,” his dad added, causing blood to rush to your cheeks, and soobin to immediately retaliate.        “Dad! Stop it. No i have not!” You looked around at him just in time to see him cross his arms and roll his eyes, cheeks pink and eyes shining. He met your eyes and looked away, but the grin on his face never faltered.        Hitting her husbands arm, soobins mom scolded, “aish, stop teasing them, they just got here. Speaking of which, have you two eaten?”        “No we havent, actually. We came right after school,” soobin answered.        “In that case, you can take yours and y/n stuff up to your room and get settled in. I’ll order some food for you. Pizza sound okay?” his mom spun soobin around, pushing him back to where your luggage laid.        “His room?” You thought out loud. Of course they were expecting you to share a room with soobin. What else could you have possibly thought.        “Of course his room,” his mom answered, “you have known each other for such a long time. And i have no doubts there are days that soobin stayed over at your apartment instead of his dorm anyway. There’s no way I’m letting you sleep on the couch.”        With that, you and soobin grabbed your things and headed up to his room. Sure, the nights soobin stayed over you have shared a bed before. But this time, it just felt different. Even though everything was still purely platonic, the element of you being in his home, pretending to be his girlfriend, was still no doubt intimidating.        “See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Soobin asked rhetorically, snapping you out of your thoughts. He laughed, clearly taking the whole situation a lot lighter than you were.        Opening the door to his room, it was exactly how you pictured it when he called you. You stood at the doorway, it seemed so familiar, yet unknown at the same time. His bed in the corner of the room with a few pillows and plushies, at the other end, his desk and wardrobe filled with clothes he left behind. His walls were mainly bare, except for one that had a few old polaroids hanging loosing from the ceiling. It felt weird being there.        “Well, don’t just stand there,” soobin grabbed your luggage from you, pulling you in to the room so he could close the door behind you and crashing down on his bed. “First, let me give you the official welcome to mi casa. My family is a lot, but you already knew that. Make yourself at home.”        “Honestly, i cant believe they bought it so easily,” you let out, taking a seat next to him.        “Told you they would. My family probably loves you more than they love me.”        You laughed halfheartedly, still feeling a bit awkward about the whole thing.        “We should clean up before we head back to the wolves den for dinner. The bathroom is right down the hall to the right. You can go first, ill clear a drawer for you,” he offered.          You nod, gathering your things for the night.        This is all just pretend.

————-————-————-————-

       The shower definitely helped calm you down a bit. You loved the warmth of the water against your skin.        “It’s just for a week. Dont get used to it,” you muttered to yourself.        Getting out, you quickly dressed yourself in a tshirt and some shorts. The normal attire you wore to sleep, anything else was always just uncomfortable for you.          “You’re turn,” you announced when you entered soobins room again.        “That was quick. Here, take one of my sweaters.”        “What for?” You shot him a look, raising brow. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t stole his hoodies before, it was just the fact that he was offering it this time.       “You’re supposed to be my girlfriend, aren’t you? Girlfriends always take their boyfriend’s clothes.”        Fishing a plain, red sweater out from his wardrobe, he threw it in your direction, hitting you directly in the face and causing you to yelp a little. “Besides, you already take all my hoodies. This is no different,” he continued, eyeing you as you pulled it over your head.        As usual, soobin’s clothes were huge on you. And this sweater was no doubt oversized, even for him. “How do i look?”        You looked to him when you didn’t get a reply. But this only caused him to turn away from you quickly, mumbling something to himself before answering, “it’s my clothes, it’ll look great on everyone.”        Scrambling to gather his things, he left for his shower. You could have swore you saw him blushing when he was looking at you. But you brushed it off as your overactive imagination. You decided to swiftly blow dry your hair before laying on his bed, scrolling through your phone while waiting for him. You were hungry, practically starving, but there was no way in hell you were going to face his family again on your own. With your new status, god knows what they would do or say.        A mere 15 minutes go by before you hear the door open again. Revealing a damp haired soobin, dressed in a white tee and sweatpants. A simple look you have seen many times over the years, but one that still made your head and thoughts hazy.        “Ready to go down?” He spoke, smirking at you, almost knowingly, “I’m starving.”        “Ye- yeah,” gathering your thoughts, bringing yourself back to reality.

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       Dinner with the family wasnt all that bad. Sure, there was the occasional teasing and questions. But that was to be expected. Any parent would have been curious, right?        You let soobin take the lead on most of those. You didn’t want your cover to get blown by having any clashing answers. Once in a while you would feel soobin grab your hand under the table when he needed your help, but for the most part, they were the basic questions like “since when?” Or “who confessed first?”. The usual relationship stuff, nothing too hard. And it was a lot easier with the fact that it was you and soobin, the two friends that have mastered the art of bullshitting your way out of situations.         At the end of the day, the awkwardness ended soon after it started. With it being past midnight, Soobin’s family had long gone to bed, leaving you two alone in the dimly lit kitchen to finish up your dinner, which had quickly became supper.        “So, how was day one of being my girlfriend?” He looked over to you, munching on another piece of pizza. Even in that horrible lighting, he still managed to take your breath away. No one could possibly look good with dull, ugly, yellow kitchen lighting, but somehow, he did. The way the soft light bounced off his skin, partnered with the reflection in his eye that gave that perfect shine to them. You were sure you looked horrid next to him.        “Mmm, it’s alright i guess,” you teased, earning a pout from soobin. “You big baby. I’m just kidding,” nudging him on the shoulder, causing you both the laugh.        You didn’t know why this question surprised you as much as it did. Maybe you wanted to flip the tables, or maybe you just weren’t expecting the answer he gave. “So how was day one of having me as your pretend girlfriend?”        He thought about it for a second before facing you and speaking. “Honestly, it’s been fun. Even though we haven’t done much. But then again, i always knew you would be great girlfriend to someone one day.”        ‘Someone’. If only you could tell him how much you wanted that someone to be him. If only you had the guts to say what’s was on your mind.        “Want to play some music?” Breaking the silence, soobin picked up his phone, quickly scrolling through his playlists before stopping on one he named ‘midnight’. “It’s just some chill songs i found that i thought would be nice to listen to at night.”        The playlist started and the first song to play was ‘what falling in love feels like’.        “Oh, i love this song,” you mindlessly stated between bites.        “Really?” Soobin replied. “I never heard you listen to classical music.”        Your eyes widened slightly when you realised what you said. You didn’t just listen to classical music. You’ve also imagined what it would be like to slow dance to it.        “I never really told anyone... but i always wanted to dance with someone to this song. It’s kind of embarrassing to admit,” you trailed off, the surface of the counter suddenly becoming more interesting. The dead of night had you confessing unspoken words.        There was another second of silence. You could feel soobin’s stare on your face. He was judging you. You were sure of it. Now you were just mentally preparing yourself for a laugh-        “Let’s dance.”        “What?” You weren’t expecting that. You shot your head up, seeing his outstretched hand.        “Let’s dance,” he repeated.        You reached for his hand, but didn’t grab it. You were hesitant. Never would you have thought you’d be slow dancing with your crush — of over 3 years, in the kitchen of his childhood home — at midnight.         He held you hand, helping you to stand before twirling you into his arms. He lead your hands around his neck and his around your waist. You fell in step, letting the rhythm control your movements. Your eyes gazing into his brown, glistening ones, a soft smile on his face. It felt like a dream. Your surroundings and any other disturbances dissolved. It was just you and him. Right here, right now. You stayed like that, dancing. Everything felt just... perfect.        “You know i’d never judge you right?” He said, his eyes watching your expressions closely. “I know that’s what you were thinking earlier.”        You looked away, unable to find the right words. Soobin always had a way to read you so easily. Every once in a while he would remind you how expressive your face was. And you were certain a blush had crept to your cheeks when you heard soobin chuckle.        “You silly girl. You can tell me anything. You know that. After all, you are my best friend.”        “Right... best friend,” you offered a small smile to mask the resignation in your words.         And just like that, the song ended. Soobin let go your waist. Leaving nothing the ghostly feeling of where his hands once were and the sensation of having his body so close to yours.        “It’s nearly 1am. We should go to bed soon,” he nodded towards the clock on the stove. “You can head up first. I’ll clean up here and join you in a bit.”        You nodded. Once you were back in his room, you crashed on his bed. Regret and agony the only things left for you to feel.        Why did you agree to this. You knew it would be hard. But not this hard.        You rolled over to your side of the bed. And true to his word, soobin entered shortly after. Climbing under the covers with you, poking your side when you paid no attention to him.        You jumped, immediately facing him. “What was that for!?”        “Nothing,” he laughed. “It’s just fun to do that to you. I have a fun day planned tomorrow, so get up early. Good night y/n.”        “Good night, asshole.” You scoffed.

.

.

.

       The next morning you woke up to a post-it on your head. You tore it off and looked around the room but soobin was nowhere to be seen. You groaned, sitting up to stretch and read the note.        ‘Wake up sleepyhead. Come to the kitchen for breakfast.’        Oh, how you wished the entire night before had been a dream. But alas, it wasn’t. Pulling yourself out of bed, you cleaned yourself up and descend the stairs. The smell of fresh pancakes engulfing the entire house.        “Good morning y/n,” soobin’s dad greeted you when you entered the kitchen. “Grab a seat. Breakfast is almost done.”        “Your dad cooks?” You whispered as you pulled out the stool next to soobin.        “Mainly breakfast. But yes,” he whispered back.        Soobin’s dad placed a plate in front of each of you. 3 pancakes a piece, and more to come. “Butter or maple syrup?”        “Both,” soobin smugly answered.        “And you y/n?”        “Ill have both as well, thanks,” you smiled before facing soobin. “Where’s your mom and sister?”        “My mom went to the store. And my sister doesn’t get up till later.” Soobin grabbed the syrup his father had just put on the table and poured a generous amount. His attention was fully on his food.        You couldn’t help but grin at his childlike manner. He always loved breakfast. Or any dish that can be both sweet and savoury actually. You both enjoyed your breakfast, watching soobin’s father flip pancakes, cheering when it landed, and messing around while cooking as your morning source of entertainment.        “The pancakes are really good, mr choi,” you complimented.        “Why, thank you y/n. You always have been such well mannered,” he said. “Hopefully some of that will rub off on my son soon.”        “Hey! I am well mannered,” soobin retorted.        “Oh, really now,” you taunted, giving him a look of disbelief.        Soobin tsked, lightly pushing you over. “Okay, whatever. Anyways, hurry up. I’m going to show you around town today.”        “You two don’t come back too late now,” his father added. “And bring a coat, it’s supposed to get colder today.”        Stuffing down the remainder of his food, soobin linked your arms and dragged you out of the kitchen the moment he saw your plate empty.        “Hey! I’m not done yet, i wanted one mo-!”        “Bye dad!” Soobin interrupted, ignoring your plea.

————-————-————-————-

       “So much being well mannered.” You mocked.        “Not my fault you wanted to eat so much,” he shrugged.        Both of you strolled along the road. You weren’t sure where soobin was bringing you, other than his aforementioned ‘town’. Despite it just being the two of you, soobin still dressed nicely, in a turtleneck and scarf with a black coat to go over it.        “Wait...” you started, noticing a passing sign. “Why does that say the town is the other way?”        “Cause i changed my mind. I’m bringing you somewhere else,” he replied, shooting you one of his, oh so charming, eye smiles. “I’ll bring you to town another day.”        “This way’s to the forest,” you raised an eyebrow. “Are you planning to kill me or something? After 6 years of friendship. This is how you want to end it?” You dramatically gripped your chest and joked. “I’m sorry for whatever i did. I can change, I swear.”        Soobin rolled his eyes and guffawed. “Of course. This has been my plan all along. To befriend you then brutally murder you among the trees where no one can find your body,” he played along. “Relax, I’m no murderer. An avid liar? Maybe. But not a murderer. I just want to show you something.”         You hummed a response and continued on your way. Not long after, soobin was leading you down a path in the deserted forest. As the path reached deeper into the woods, the trees got denser.        “Erm, soobin, where are we going?” You called from behind him. “I’m really starting to question the whole murder thing.”        You’re not going to lie when you say the woods kind of crept you out. You could have sworn you felt someone behind you. But when you turned around, there wasn’t a soul. The twigs and dead leaves making a deafening crunch under your feet as the — seemingly never-ending — journey continued.        “Just trust me,” he provided a simple answer that proved to be of no help in ensuring you.       As you continued, the sound of snapping twigs got louder. You turned the corner and the sudden sound of birds fleeing their nest startled you, causing you to jump and grab soobin’s coat from the back.         “Are you really that scared?” He laughed. “Don’t worry,” he continued, turning around and reaching for your hand. Gently running his thumb over yours the rest of the way. “We’re almost there. It’s worth it, i promise.”        Having his hand in yours definitely provided some comfort. But it was also making you feel things that you shouldn’t be feeling. After another minute of walking, you finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. The horrid crunching sound had been washed out by the sound of, well, rushing water.        A waterfall.        You gasped in astonishment at the clarity of the Caribbean-blue waterfall. It was spurting over the basalt rock, spilling eel-like over the ledges. Its clamorous passage at the foot of the mountain threw up bubbles of spray. They sparkled uneasily in the beams of light that shined through the leaves of surrounding trees.        When it toppled into the ecstasy-pool, it foamed it at the bottom. The rest of the pool was as clear as cellophane, allowing you to see down into the rocky bottom. Fronds of forest-green plants waved gently in the depths. The waterfall looked like a sheet of blue velour as it swished down. Its edges were hemmed with whipped-white lines.        “Wow,” was all you managed to utter out.        “I told you it was worth it,” soobin grinned. “Come on.” He lead you closer, collapsing on the bank and letting the nougat sweet smell of flowers wash over him.        You followed suit. “How did you find this place?”        “A friend of mine showed it to me when we were kids.” He said, leaning back against his palms. “We used to hang out all the time here. The five of us. That is, until i moved away for high school.        “I wonder what they’re up to now.” He added after a slight pause.        “You don’t see them when you come back for the holidays?” You asked.        Soobin shook his head. “I don’t get to see them much anymore. I barely leave my house, y/n, you know that. Besides, they’re all busy with their own lives.”        You listened to soobin reminisce about his childhood. You would listen to soobin talk for hours if you could. His words are were like gold to you, or perhaps some elixir you’ve been waiting all your days to hear. He had nothing but good things to say. It sounded like he had a lot of fun here, in the small town he grew up in. You both sat there for a while, gawking at the waterfall when the suddenly rustling of the bushes behind you caught your attention.        “Y/n,” soobin stood up, holding you behind him as the rustling got louder. And then a figure walked through, a boy. He was wearing a brown furry jacket. His hair was a strange shade a pink, but it complimented his skin tone nicely.        “Soobin?” The boy said, folding his arms. “No way. Is that actually you? Mr choi soobin. After all these years.”          “Yeonjun?” Soobin replied, letting go of you and walking up to yeonjun. “What are you doing here?”        “I was on my way out and thought i saw you earlier entering the forest so i decided to follow you. Who else knows this place anyway?” Yeonjun laughed, swinging an arm around soobin’s shoulder.        “So you practically followed, what could have been, a complete stranger into the forest?” Soobin shot him a look. To that, yeonjun just smiled and nodded. “You never change, do you?”        “Nope,” yeonjun answered confidently. “Anyways, are you going to introduce me to the pretty lady or do i have to do that myself?” He gestured a smile towards you.        Beside him, soobin stiffened, his jaw slightly tensing before he answered. “Right... Yeonjun, y/n. We met in high school, she’s my best friend.  Y/n, yeonjun. He was one of my friends i was telling you about-”        “Yeah, until this bastard moved, changed his number and practically became a hermit that never left his house much.” Yeonjun jibed.        “Hmm, that sounds about right. The only place I’ve seen him, other than class or the library, is at my apartment binge watching shows,” you added, causing yeonjun to burst out a laugh.        “You guys are mean.” Soobin grumbled, pushing yeonjun’s arm off him.        “I have a feeling she and i are going to be great friends.” Yeonjun said matter-of-factly.        The three of you sat there, talking for what seemed like hours. Soobin and yeonjun continued to tell you about the different adventures they had together as kids with their friends, beomgyu, kai and taehyun. They recounted all the accidents that happened, all the fun moments they had together. Yeonjun eventually proceeded to tell you about all the embarrassing soobin stories he could think of, sharing jokes and making you laugh. The entire time though, soobin barely directed any conversation at you. Let alone laugh at Yeonjun’s ‘jokes’.        As your laughter died down, yeonjun spoke again. “I have to ask though, what’s she doing doing here? Not that there’s anything wrong with it. I’m just curious. Does she live around here too?”        You looked to soobin, unsure of how or what to answer.        “It’s okay, yeonjun won’t snitch,” he said. “Y/n’s pretending to be my girlfriend for the holiday.”         It hurt you every time he said it. In your head you wished so badly for it to be real. To think, by now you would have learnt that wishing only wounds the heart. And each time soobin said it out loud, it was like a punch to the gut.        “Pretending to be your-“ yeonjun cut himself off by scoffing. “What for?”        “Well....” soobin started explaining the whole situation to yeonjun. To which the only response he got out of the other boy was mockery and disbelief.        “Are you serious?!” Yeonjun exclaimed. “So you two aren’t together?”        You shook your head.        “Oh... good....” he mumbled, grinning in the process. “You have got to be kidding me. But you guys do you, i guess. My lips are sealed.        “I hate to ruin the moment but i have to go. It was nice meeting you y/n.” He tipped an imaginary hat. “It was nice to see you again too, soobin. But let know, the next time you’re back.”        “Right, ill keep that in mind.” Soobin replied.        Just as yeonjun started to walk away, he stopped and turned around once more. “Oh! Right. How long are you guys staying? I’m meeting beomgyu, tae and kai on monday at the diner. You should come,” his eyes travelled to you, “both of you.”        “We cant-“        “We would love to!” You cut soobin off, “come on soobin, you haven’t seen your friends in ages. I would be nice to say ‘hi’ again.”         Soobin stared at you for a second. Maybe it was the excitement in your face or maybe he truly did want to see his friends again. But in the end he agreed.          “Great! Ill see you two monday at 5.” Yeonjun ended, giving a small salute before leaving, for real this time.        Soobin went back to the bay, laying down on the grass, letting out a long held sigh. He stared up at the sky that was quickly becoming darker. The stars and moon announcing their arrival.        “You alright?” You asked, sitting down next to him.        “Yeah, why wouldn’t i be?” He answered, his eyes still closed.        “I don’t know. You just seemed... off just now. Like my or yeonjun’s presence bothered you.”        “It’s nothing. Im just tired.” He sighed again, sitting up. “While on the subject, we should head back. It’s getting dark.”        He stood up and started walking without another word.        Was he mad at you? No... he had no reason to be, right? Was he mad about the joke you made with yeonjun?        You quickly caught up to him and followed him out of the forest. Other than your footsteps against the concrete road and the cicadas that came out to say their daily greetings, the awkward silence followed the rest of the way.        “I’m not annoyed at you, if that’s what you’re thinking,” soobin broke the silence. The entire walk you had your focus on the ground, not noticing the stolen glances soobin took. “Stop sulking. People are going to think i kicked your puppy or something.” He chuckled, bending his waist slight to look at your face.        His face was mere inches away from yours. Memories from the previous night came flooding back. You didn’t offer a response, not trusting the words that would escape your lips in that moment. Instead just turning your face to the other side to avoid his stare. Soobin let out a light hearted laugh and continued walking.          You recalled how soobin always said you had an expressive face. He must have seen something you didn’t realise.        The sky got darker as you continued down the road. The cool winter breeze greeting the concrete and skin just the same, causing you to shiver and wrap your arms around yourself. Mentally cursing the fact that, other than your khaki coat, you didn’t think to wear more layers that morning.        Of course, this didn’t go unnoticed. “Are you cold?” Soobin asked, already shedding off his cherry red, wool scarf.        “No, it’s alright, you’ll get cold,” grabbing his hands to stop his actions.        “I’ll be fine. And we’re only about 5 minutes away,” he argued, wrapping his scarf around your neck. He took your hand, pulling you behind him the rest of the way quickly before you ‘caught a cold’.        The scarf sat snug to your skin, soft and gentle, the ends becoming a colourful flag in the wintry winds. It was still warm from where it sat before. You could smell of his cologne on it. Faint, from the day’s activities. But still prominent enough to know it’s existence.        Your hands trembled in his and you thanked the cold for that excuse. Burying your face deeper into his scarf before he could make out the slight blush that painted your cheeks.        When you reached soobin’s home again, there was a faint chattering echoing through house.        “Oh, i think my older sister’s came for a visit.”        Soobin’s older sister. The one that’s the account, married, with the baby — soobin’s nephew — and the lovely husband. You’ve only ever met them once, well that, and the occasional pictures soobin would send you of him and his nephew. Seeing soobin with babies did things to your heart thats you didn’t like. You’ve already imagined the unlikely scenario of what it would be like to have soobin as your boyfriend. You can’t go fantasising an entire family as well. But you had to admit, he would make a great dad one day.        “Soobin!” His older sister ran and hugged him. He’s always had such a close bond with his siblings. “Mom and dad told me you brought your girlfriend home this time.” She wiggled her eyebrows.        “Hey sis. And yeah, y/n. You know her,” soobin turned to you.        “Of course. The last time i saw you two I knew you’d end up together.” She cheered as if she had just won the lottery.        So, from what you’ve gathered, soobin’s entire family had always had some hopes on the two of two. You wanted to smile at that fact. But at same time, you were lying to them right now. It was a bittersweet feeling.        The remainder of the night went on rather unproductive. You had dinner with his family, chatted with them, played with the baby and that was about it. The worst part came when the family decided to watch a movie together. The movie was great, dont get me wrong. You all sat together and watched kingsman again. Even though it was the tenth time you’ve seen it, it was still yours and Soobin’s favourite.        The bad part came when you had to find a seat. The family couch say four, soobin’s mom, dad and sisters. The older’s husband took one of the arm chairs, leaving you and soobin to share the other. In other words, you ended up having to sit on his lap.        “I can just sit on the floor, its no problem,” you suggested.        “Nonsense. I won’t let you sit on the floor,” soobin rebutted, holding your waist, pulling you back onto his lap.        You swear, if it wasn’t for the dimness of the room, the redness of your face would have matched that of the fire place. Throughout the movie you found it extremely hard to pay attention. Soobin had left one of his hands to rest on your knee and the other around your back. Sure, he was probably just putting on a show for his family. But he didn’t have to do the thumb thing as well. Or gently whisper in your ear, so close that you could feel his breath against your neck.          The rest of the time you couldn’t help but fidget in your seat — which just so happened to be soobin’s lap. As interesting as the fight scene on screen was or the dramatic music playing, the only thing you could focus on was the fact that soobin’s hand had now traveled to your thigh.        And underneath you, soobin’s breathing was becoming short and uneven. He was starting to stir as well before getting up, forcing you to stand and murmuring, “I’m going to head to bed early. You guys enjoy the rest of the movie.”        Within the next beat of the soundtrack, he was dashing out of the living room and running up the stairs.        What...?        You weren’t the only one wondering that. Soobin’s family were now staring at you, his mothers brows furrowed, his sister’s head tilted quizzically. “He said he’s tired,” you blurted, face-palming in your head.        Great. You already felt out of place and this certainly wasn’t helping. You sat down on the, now vacant, chair and continued the rest of the movie with his family.        I’m sure he’s fine. You can always ask him tomorrow.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

       You woke up to an empty bed again. But this time there was no post it note or anything from soobin. So you assumed he’d be in the kitchen like before.        “Morning y/n,” it was his older sister this time.        “Morning.” You looked around. No sight of soobin. “Where’s soobin?”        “Oh he didn’t tell you? He went out for a walk around 20 minutes ago.”        Why didn’t he wait for you?        “Yeah, he didn’t. Did he say where he was going or when he’ll be back?” You asked.        To that, she just shook her head.        Oh...

       “I almost forgot,” she continued. “There was a note for you. I left it on the counter for you.”

       You picked it up, hoping to see Soobin’s name as the regards, telling you his whereabouts. Instead, the note was fairly short.

Hey y/n!

Once again i just wanted to welcome you to town. It was really nice meeting you yesterday! Maybe we could hang out some time?

(Hopefully) Your friend,

Yeonjun

       Did Soobin see it? Either way, why does it matter.        After breakfast, you decided to wait for soobin to come home. If he didn’t tell where he was going, it means he cant be gone long, right? You sat in his room, figuring it would be the only place you didnt have to face his family members.        It was only about an hour and a half of waiting and a lunch break, that you got bored. You could only scroll your phone so much before it started to get more redundant than it already was. So, checking the weather report, you got dressed and left for a walk around. You hadn’t seen much of the area yet, it wouldn’t be harmful to do some exploring. Learning your lesson from yesterday, you put on a wool sweater underneath your coat. A pair of dr marten to match.         It was a rather fine day out. You walked under the sun that warmed your skin, but the cool winds keeping the temperature cool enough. The only thing that would make this better would be if soobin were with you...        “Y/n!” You heard a familiar voice call from behind you.        You turned around and saw a familiar lock of pink hair running towards you, frantically waving his arms. He was wearing a leather jacket today. Behind him was someone else that chased after him. He had nicely styled, bleached blonde hair and was slightly short than yeonjun was.        “Oh, hi.” You greeted the two of them. “Fancy running into you again.”        “I know, right!” He agreed, a bit more enthusiastically than what you would imagine. “Why are you alone? Where’s soobin?”        “No clue. He just took off this morning. Didn’t tell me anything and i got bored of sitting around alone.”        “Maybe the pressure of a relationship getting to him,” yeonjun suggested.        “It’s fake though,” you mocked.        He just shrugged. “Doesn’t make it any less of a commitment.”        You hummed a reply. “Fair enough.”        “Anyway. If you have nothing better to do... taehyun and i,” he said, gesturing towards to boy beside him, “were just headed to the arcade in town. Care to join us?”        “Sure, I don’t see why not.”        You followed as yeonjun and taehyun lead you through the town soobin said he would bring you to. Every corner they turned, they greeted someone new. From little kids to elderly ladies and gentlemen. Small town, i guess everyone knew everyone.        Eventually, they stopped in front of a building, the arcade. The pings from the pinball machines, the bullets from the shooting games, and the ‘jackpot’ announcements, all a dead give away. From the outside, the building looked old and rundown. The paint was old and cracking as if it hadn’t been repainted in years. Even the neon signs provided to the retro aesthetic, casting a purple-red hue over everything.        You stood there, taking in the atmosphere for a second. It sure was different from any arcade you had back in the city. You glanced around, when a figure at one of the pinball machines caught your eye.        “Soobin?” You spoke out loud.        Confused, yeonjun and taehyun followed your gaze to said figure.        “What in the?” You walked up to him. the further into the arcade you went, the louder everything got. Tapping him on the shoulder, you just about had to yell to have any sort of conversation.        “Y/n?” He asked, looking at you with the same expression as culprit that had just been caught red-handed.        You scoffed playfully, crossing your arms. “So you ditched me to come play games alone?”        “Um, kind of? Not really though,” he said. His eyes darting towards the two boys that to came up behind you. “You came with taehyun and... Yeonjun?”        “Hey soob, long time no see,” taehyun added.        “I went out for a walk and ran into them,” a quick and easy reason. “You could have just told me if you wanted to come to town alone, you know? You don’t have to sneak off at the crack of dawn.”        “Nice to see you too tae. And I do want to show you around the town. It’s just,” his eyes travelled between you and yeonjun, back to you in a blink. “I just needed a break from things for a while.”        “Hm, alright,” you accepted his explanation, but something still felt weird.        “Since we’re already here, there’s no use standing around.” Yeonjun spoke. “Y/n, come play the shooting game with me!”        Before you could reply, yeonjun was already dragging you towards one of the machines. Leaving taehyun and soobin to do whatever it was they did. He handed you one of the guns available and scanned his arcade card. The entire time you could feel eyes watching you, but shook it off.        Yeonjun was pretty good at the game, you had to admit. He spent a lot of time here, you assumed. Time seemed to disappear the longer you were in the arcade. The atmosphere around you never changed. It was still as lively and colourful as when you first walked in. The bright lights and loud music blasting, disrupting your senses. But outside, the sun was quickly setting.        “Good game, y/n,” taehyun offered a handshake after you beat him at yet another game of air hockey.        You took it. “Not too shabby yourself.”        Beside you, yeonjun and soobin clapped for your victory.        “We should probably go back soon,” Soobin said, showing the clock on his phone. It was nearly 8pm. Time sure flies when you’re having fun.        You all travelled back together. Turns out yeonjun and taehyun only lived a street away from soobin.        “See you tomorrow,” taehyun and yeonjun waved goodbye as you parted ways, leaving you and soobin to go your way.        Neither of you said a thing to each other. And for reason you were having trouble thinking of a conversation starter, this hasn’t happened before. Usually you and soobin had endless things to talk about. It didn’t matter how stupid or unimaginable it was, the two of you never ran out of things to say.        “When you were a kid, did you ever pretend you were smoking in winter?” You said the first thing that came to mind, the cold air making your breath visible, helping to elaborate your question. You laughed at yourself, holding your fingers up in a peace sign, imagining a cigarette between them.        “Yeah, when i was like 7.”        Okay, ouch.        Soobin’s answer was short, providing no further conversation. You pressed your lips together, stuffing your hands in your pockets as embarrassment crept up on you. So much for never feeling judged.        The rest of the night you didn’t speak much. Every attempt you made just being shot down with one liners. Every time you showed soobin a funny video or meme, he gave little to no response. And eventually you gave up.        This continued to the following day. Sure, soobin was an introvert. You knew that. But he’s never ignored you to this extent. Was he getting sick of having you around everyday? If that was the case, he should just tell you, you’d give him all the space he needs.        You can’t lie and say you weren’t hurt by that thought. Your crush was ignoring you. That would have hurt anyone. And right now, you felt nothing more than a parasite in his home.        “Come on, we have to go meet the others,” the first words he’s said to you in hours.

      You followed quietly as soobin brought you to the diner. When you arrived, the others were already there. Yeonjun and taehyun, along with two new faces. Beomgyu and Huening Kai, you figured from previous conversations.        They sat at a semi-circle booth meant for four with two extra chairs at the end. One of which occupied by taehyun as the other three shared the banquette bench.         “Soobin! Y/n!” They waved.         Yeonjun sat at one of the ends and shifted when he spotted you enter. “Y/n, i saved you a seat next to me,” he said smugly, smirking and cocking his head to the space beside him.        You rolled your eyes at his antics, lips curling upwards. Soobin’s expression remained hard, unbothered and unimpressed even. But you didn’t question it, he’s been like that since yesterday. And frankly, you’ve gotten sick of it. Might as well spend time with someone that actually wants your attention.        You got along well with the boys. You learnt that Kai and taehyun went to the same school and beomgyu had just graduated recently. Most of the time though, was spent whispering jokes between yeonjun and yourself. And at some point of the night, he had managed to sneak an around the back of the booth. On the other side, Beomgyu and Kai snickered to each other and eventually shook hands, some bet or deal you presumed.        All of a sudden you heard one of the chairs beside you shift. The feet scratching against the tiled floor. And the next thing you knew, soobin was walking out the door, the bell ringing behind him.        “Where’s he going?” Kai asked.        “No clue,” Beomgyu answered. Taehyun just shrugged. All your attentions still on the door that had already been shut.        “Um, ill go check on him,” you announced, running out of the diner after him. Sure, you and him weren’t on good terms at the moment, but nontheless he was still your best friend, and a huge part of you still cared for him.         “Soobin, wait!” You called, but he kept walking.        “Soobin!” You tried again, chasing after him.        “Stop right there choi soobin!” You yelled, your voice echoing through the empty street. The boys silhouette stood still. But never did he turn to look at you. “Dont you dare take another step!”        Never once in five years have you ever felt intimidated by him. But with his large figure being illuminated by nothing but the dull, yellow street lights, you couldn’t say that anymore. There was silence as you gathered your thoughts, making your way towards him. You had him right in front of you. Now what? You wanted soobin back. Your soobin.        “What’s going on with you?” Your feet stopped on their own accord, right behind the tall boy. “You’ve been acting strange.”        No answer.        “Soobin, don’t ignore me!” You said again, desperation and annoyance laced in your tone.        “I don’t know what you want me to say y/n,” he sighed, trying to keep his temper from exploding.        “I want a damn explanation, soobin,” anger from the previous day slowly consuming you. “Do you know how much of an asshole you’re being? God! I try to talk to you, but it’s just like i’m talking to a god damn wall! So, you can either tell me what’s going on or I’m on the next bus home tomorrow.”        No answer. But you could tell the last part hit him hard. He couldn’t look at you. If he did, he was sure you would see the remorse and anger in his eyes. He hated that you were mad. He hated that you were yelling. But most of all he hated that he was the cause of it.       “You asked me to come play girlfriend with you and i did,” you sighed, continuing when he started walking again. “I only did because,” swallowed the lump in your throat, “you’re... you’re my best friend.”        Best friend.        “I’m your best friend... you can me anything, you know that.” You quoted his words.        “There’s some things better left unsaid,” he offered before walking away again. “I’m sorry y/n.”        “No!” You cried, stopping his tracks. “Apology not accepted.”        You could see frustration building in soobin. His hand pinching his temple, his shoulders tensed as you spoke. “You said you’d be by my side the whole time! But since the waterfall you’ve barely talked to me! You leave me in situations on my own, you’re ignoring me and you randomly take off without a word. You’re doing it right now! So, again, you can either tell me what’s going on or-“        “It’s because i love you, okay!?”        Now it was your turn to stay silent.        Soobin let out a sigh, turning to face you. “Is that what you want to hear?! I love you, y/n!” His tone got softer, “I love you so much. For as long as i can remember knowing you. It hurts when I see you with other people. Especially people that so blatantly flirt with you in front of me. You’re stunning, beautiful. Even a fool could see it. But you’re also so much more than that.        “You were the only person that bothered to come talk to me the first day of school. Others probably viewed me as the weird, loser kid that sat alone during lunch. But you didn’t. You were my first and only friend for years. Before i knew it, i had a crush on you. At first, i thought it was just a phase. But it wasn’t, y/n. And now, im so hopelessly head over heels for you.        “I know, I haven’t earned your heart. I never will. I could spend a million years worshiping you and still not earn it. You’re my best friend, i know I shouldn’t be feeling this way. I know you’re mad at me. And i know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But please... please, don’t leave me.”        He sounded raw, real in a way you’ve never heard before. When he was done, he was closely inspecting the road, afraid to look up. Chewing on his bottom lip nervously, waiting for your rejection.        “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” You asked, keeping emotion from your voice.        He shrugged and laughed. “You’re my best friend, I didn’t want to lose you.”        You let one hand slide against his cheek, resting your palm there. “You wouldn’t have.”        “Wha-“        “I love you too, you doofus.”        You felt the pull of a muscle as his lips twitched. “Really?”        “Yes. Really. For as long as i can remember.”        Soobin, your best friend — now, boyfriend — pulled you into his arms. “I love you, y/f/n. And I’m so sorry for the way I’ve been. What can i say to make you forgive me?”        “Words only mean so much. Actions speak louder, don’t you agree?”        “I do.”        He lowered his head and brushed his lips against yours.        “Am i forgiven?” He asked rhetorically.        You laugh. “Only because i love you.”        “Yes! I told you so!” You turned and saw Kai yelling and celebrating, pointing fingers at beomgyu. Taehyun and yeonjun shaking their heads in disappointment.        What a crazy group of friends they were.

.

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.

[bringingglory]

@eerna oh my god acshdgagaahhdvsahsv I never expected you to see my post, so I won't lie, I feel like super embarrassed acsgsga

anyway! not gonna lie, this wip has been sitting in my drafts for months now because I wanted to see if I could plan stuff but then I got stuck because Details are hard to figure out BUT I did write out a few scenes, so I'll put them below the cut because they're kind of long. the first one is the "opening" of the fic and the second one is a sort of reimagining of the Silent Princess memory. i have a few other scenes sort of scribbled out, but these are the most "polished" of the stuff i've written alsdkfjasdfk

the opening lol

Link wakes to a faint buzzing in his ear that sends little darts of pain shooting through his skull. He waits for it to end, and when it doesn’t he groans and rolls over, smacking the space around him to find whatever was making that noise and make it shut up. He can’t fathom why his brain is rolling through his skull like that and why there’s an intense pressure behind his eyes, but when he rolls onto his side, he has to press a hand to his abdomen to settle whatever was sloshing around inside his stomach.

Ah. He’s hungover.

Link peels open his eyes and the light sends a fresh wave of pain ricocheting through his skull. He blinks once, twice, and then forces his eyes open to find a phone the size vibrating against the ground a few inches away from his hand.

Link groans and pushes himself up to a sitting position before grabbing the phone and dismissing the alarm. When the phone falls silent in his hands, he finally looks around and tries to assess the situation.

He’s sitting in a bathtub, the porcelain slightly damp from what he hopes is just water. His shirt smells vaguely of cheap vodka and he still can barely look at the sunlight streaming through the window without wincing.

A moment later, he realizes the phone in his hands isn’t his.

Link holds the phone up to his face and rubs the grogginess from his eyes. He swipes up on the screen, surprised that it isn’t protected by a password.

The phone is open on note in the notes app, and it reads:

link, if you’re reading this right now, im so sorry for leaving you in the tub like that!!! my dad’s supposed to come home from the office today and the document case i was telling you about is missing and he cant know i lost it. i know we just started getting along, and im so sorry to ask you this, but could you find the document case? impa’s in my contacts and she can help you. also you have permission to dig through my phone, just dont judge me if i have anything embarrassing on there. can you find the file by midnight? his flight leaves at 3 and i can stall him until then.

it’s 6:11 right now so i have to run before he gets back, but please hurry! i’ll be waiting for you

-zelda

Link blinks and turns the phone off.

Last night? What happened last night? Why can’t he remember anything?

Well, if his raging headache tells him anything, it’s that he had probably blacked out last night.

Link isn’t usually a drinker or a partier. He isn’t really one to go to big social events. So he’s really confused as to why he woke up passed out in a tub with zero memories.

And also, why Zelda left her phone with him.

a version of the Silent Princess memory but they're at a party and its modern

Zelda laughs. “I think I got a little too sober from the Yiga incident to enjoy the party now.”

Link isn’t sure if he’s supposed to laugh with her, but nods anyway. “Do you want to get some air?”

Zelda gives him an odd look, then sighs. “Yeah. Yes. That would be a good idea.”

Surprisingly, she grabs his forearm and leads him through all the bodies pressed against each other. He can feel the heat of her hand wrapping entirely around his arm like a hot glove, even above the heat of the late summer air and the heat from other people in close proximity.

Somehow, they make it to the other side of the house. Zelda pushes the back door open and pulls him past the other stragglers outside before they find a nice tree with a patch of grass that seems generally clear of alcohol and vomit.

Zelda releases his arm as soon as she finds the tree and she sits down, dropping her head against the trunk.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

Zelda waves her hand vaguely.

Link pauses. “Do you need water?”

“If you get me any more water, I’m probably gonna piss myself,” says Zelda. “Sit down.”

He sits down.

The crickets hum vaguely around them, mingling with the distant buzzing and thumping bass of the music from the party. But without people pressing in from all sides and an open field in front of them, it finally feels like he can take a full breath.

The silence settles over them like a blanket. It feels comfortable to him, but he isn’t sure if it’s supposed to be.

“Oh, Link, look.”

Link cranes his head to see Zelda twist around and point out a blue flower glowing vaguely in the dark. It was beautiful with blue petals so light they looked almost white, and a sky blue bleeding out from the center before fading out.

He wants to give her a questioning look, but she’s transfixed on the flower. He can see the smallest of smiles creeping up onto the corners of her mouth.

“It’s a Silent Princess,” she says. “It was my mom’s favorite flower.”

He can tell something important is happening, so he keeps his mouth shut.

“She said that we can’t grow them domestically yet, despite our best efforts.” Zelda breaks into a full smile and it’s radiant. “The Princess can only thrive out here. In the wild.”

They both turn to look back at the house as another loud WHOOP cuts through the air, followed by the sound of a can being crushed against a head.

“Nature is beautiful,” says Link.

Zelda swats him and he has to bite back a laugh.

She turns and runs a gentle finger along one of the petals before sighing and leaning back against the tree.

“Thank you,” she says suddenly. “For being there with the Yiga. And for being there the whole party.” He can hear her swallow. “I’m sorry for being a bitch.”

“You weren’t being a bitch,” says Link.

“I was, though.” Zelda inhales beside him. “I mean, just because I’m under a lot of stress from my dad doesn’t mean I’m allowed to take it out on other people. I was acting like a kid.”

“To be fair, your dad sounds like an asshole sometimes.”

Zelda snorts. “Yeah. He can be.” He turns his head to see her lean forward to fiddle with the grass. “But he’s got a lot on his plate. And it probably doesn’t help that his daughter doesn’t want anything to do with his ‘legacy.’”

“Just because your dad’s under a lot of pressure doesn’t mean he’s allowed to be an asshole,” Link points out.

Zelda finally looks up at him and offers him a small grin. “Fair enough.”

“And besides, you’re your own person. You don’t need to follow in his footsteps.”

“That’s what I said,” huffs Zelda. “But of course it’s, ‘blah blah you have a responsibility. I didn’t raise you like this so you could waste your time researching pointless things.’” She sighs. “It’s fine. It’s whatever. I came to this stupid party to blow off steam, I guess. But Goddess, I did not eat enough today to drink that many cans of shitty beer.”

Link sits upright, alert. “Do you need to get food or—”

“No, no, that’s fine.” And that smile returns and Link wonders what else he can say to make it stay. “You’re sweet. But I’ve probably gotten drunk enough tonight.” Her eyes slide up to him and the mischief in them stops his heart for a moment. “You still have to try the Hot Frog.”

Link blinked. “...what is that?”

--

the endings are abrupt on both of them just bc i wasn't entirely sure how to end them akldjfasd. also the "Hot Frog" is gonna be some kind of mixed drink that gets link really drunk -- me trying to allude more to the original memory from the game haha

anyway, thank you so much for the ask! and thank u for coming up with the shitpost because it made me laugh the first time i read it hasdklfj hopefully i'll continue this one day and do ur shitpost au justice!

[mcu-fan-fics-blog]

The Helping Hand

This is a Repost from my Ao3 I wanted to bring it to Tumblr. I hope you like it Its currently 5 chapters I will be uploading the rest throughout the rest of the week.

Word count: 1900 approx

Summary: Y/N Krast Illegitimate Daughter of Tony Stark. Product of an unwanted teen pregnancy. What would Howard Stark be capable of doing to assure his sons future? What will happen when Tony meets our Beautiful, young, genius, rich philanthropist.

Tw: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Drug use, Drug addiction, Teen Pregnancy. (If there are any I missed please tell me.)

Ch.2

Chapter 3: Remembering

Ch.4

22 years ago (Tony's POV)

"Dad say something." You watch as Howard paces back and forth. "Tony, what do you want me to say? I'm disappointed in you. You're better than this." He rushes towards you and you can see the desperation in his eyes. 

"Does anyone else know? This could ruin you… this could destroy us." You sigh running your hand through your hair. "No dad, she hasn't told her parents yet." Howard tenses further and musters "Good, you better keep it that way."

"Dad, she wants to have the baby." He sits you down next to him placing his hand on your shoulder. "She's not going to keep that child tony. She can have it but she'll never see it again, and neither will you."

"Dad it's my kid I can't in my right mind have it in the foster system." Howard grows impatient. "And what exactly is it that you can offer the kid." You look at him, the anger and the feeling of inevitability building in you. "Money." You simply say for lack of other ideas. 

Howard laughs with no trace of humor behind it "And have that child turn out like you, trust me they'll be better off without it. And let me make this clear you have no choice in the matter." You stand to face your dad "Or what did, what are you going to do?" Howard levels with your looking at your eyes "Or I’ll forget I have a son named Tony."

You are taken aback by your father’s words and he continues "So what's it going to be Tony that child, or your future you chose." You take a deep breath and compose yourself nodding at him. "Fine, Howard we'll do it your way. You say while you walk out, finding your mother on the other side of the door. 

"Mom?" Shed gives you an apologetic look. "I'm sorry son for your father’s behavior. Everything will be fine." You let your guard down finally realizing the tears that you'd been holding in. You hug your mother nestling your face in her neck. 

The pregnancy had gone by so fast Maya reluctantly agreed to your father’s terms. She moved into your home, and you got to see your daughter develop and become a tiny person. You're holding an ultrasound in your hand. "She's going to be beautiful." You say more towards yourself but Maya heard you. 

"Do you ever wonder what will happen to her? Tony, I'm scared." You take her hand and look at her belly. "I'm scared too." You confess honestly. She shakes her head "No Tony, I'm scared for her. What exactly is going to happen to her?" You take her hand "I don't know Maya, but she'll be okay." You squeeze her hand reassuringly. 

She grimaces and you get startled "Are you okay, is the baby okay?" You Ask almost instinctively Maya can only giggle at your reaction. "Were fine you can touch my bump if you went to. It's her new trick it's called kicking mommy at the most inconvenient times." 

You hesitate, but place your hands on her bump. Seconds pass by when she kicks again causing you to laugh. Maya clears her throat "You know you can talk to her?" You look up at Maya and she continues. "I read it she can hear you… if you want to say anything it's probably a good idea to do it now before… well you know."

"Do you mind covering your ears?" She laughs but does it anyway. You bend down to her baby bump as if to make sure she could hear your voice. "Hi, baby it's me your dad. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. And I wanted to give you some advice. Just be strong alright." You can feel your baby moving under your hands "I'm sorry." You repeat. 

It wasn't long after this conversation that Maya went into labor. The whole thing was terrifying you, but you had to be strong. From now on yo I had to set an example. "Where is she? Where's my baby? I want to see her at least once Tony… Please." She pulled you out of your thoughts. 

"Of course" You give her a small smile and leave the room to where your mother and father are. "Umm… she wants to see her. She wants to see her at least once." Howard sighs but caves in the end. "Fine… I’ll tell the nurse to go get her." You interrupted his sentence. 

"Umm… actually I want to go get her." Your mother sighs "Tony, honey that's not a good idea." You look at her pleading with your eyes. "I need to see her… at least once. Please." She looks at Howard and he simply nods. You take your leave and go to the nursery. 

Once there you look for her you find her almost immediately. "Hey monkey how are ya… I'm crazy, aren't I? Talking to a newborn like you could understand me." Suddenly she smiles and it lights up your entire heart. "We'll see each other again, I promise. I don't know how long it will be but I’ll see you again." You kiss her head gently. "I'll fight for you, you just have to be strong. Alright, let's take you to see your mom."

As you're making your way to her room suddenly you hear the words "code blue patient in room 34b is in code blue" suddenly the halls are filled with nurses running towards Maya's room. "Mom what's happening is Maya going to be okay?" She gives you a look "It's not looking good honey they've got her stable but, I would go in there before it's too late… Go, Tony!"

"Maya…" you say cautiously holding your baby. "How is she Tony… is she okay?" Her voice was hoarse. "She's beautiful… I think she has your eyes." She chuckles "let me hold her." You don't wait any longer, you place her in Maya's arms. "She's heavier than I thought." she mentions. "Tony fight for her, alright… maybe not today or tomorrow but find her. I'm not going to make it out of her promise that you'll look for her." 

The tears start to build up in your eyes. You don't speak but you nod giving her closure. She turns to your baby she's holding in her arms. "I love you so much alright, I'm sorry. I'll always love you." She looks at you asking to take the baby from her arms. You do as she asks… she closed her eyes and never opened them again. 

You walk out of the room, the tears streaming down your cheeks. Kissing your baby one last time on the head, handing her over to Howard. Breaking down almost immediately as you watch him walk away with her. As soon as he's out of your sight you feel like the air was knocked out of you.

"She's so beautiful mom… I wish you'd met her." You say as you remember all of her, her image burned in your mind forever. Her captivating smile that stole your heart the minute you saw it. And you promise to Maya. "I'm going to fight for her mom… I don't care how long it takes." She takes your face in her hands "I know you are." She says as she wipes your tears away.

(Howard’s POV) 

As much as it pained you to see your son so distraught you continued with your plans. Yes, it was harsh but what was he going to do with a child. Especially now that the mother was gone, maybe she could actually find a worthy family in the system. At least that is what you are trying to believe.

You hadn’t taken the time to look down at your granddaughter until she cooed. I was one of the most peculiar sounds you’d ever heard. Finally letting your eyes travel down you the bundle in your arms. She was… she was perfect you saw Tony in her you saw Maya in her and it just brought pain to you. Here you were paying a stranger to leave her in a hospital. “I’ll give you half the money here and the rest when you come back.” You say firmly. The woman only nods holding the baby in her arms. 

It felt like you were waiting forever when the woman came back you were startled. “Sir the baby has been left in the NICU.” You look at her bewildered as to why the child is now in the NICU. “What did you do to her.” she calmly says “The baby girl had problems with her lungs, something about a heart murmur I didn’t quite stay to find out.” You sighed and gave the woman the rest of her money.

Months had now passed and you were still keeping up with the child. Her medical issues were quite extensive, but you made sure she got everything she needed. She had not been adopted or even considered as an option… not once. People usually want healthy undamaged kids. When you were giving up hope on her adoption, you decided on bringing the child home.

Things were quickly changed when the system quite literally lost your granddaughter. At one point you were just looking through death certificates to see if you would find some trace of them. Three years had gone by when you finally gave up hope tired of looking for her tired of feeling the guilt. 

Deep down you knew that Tony was going to look for her one day, something you didn’t see coming was her being nowhere to be found. You simply couldn’t live with that so you kept looking. There were so many times where you thought that you had found her but in reality, it was just someone else. It was a nightmare the things these kids went through at this point you just wanted to get her out you had seen enough horror stories. 

It wasn’t until you found a report done on the Gordon family that you finally had a lead on where she was. That was almost 11 years of searching to find out that she had quite literally been through hell. She was transferred to a group home after the incident at the Gordon House. It took you months to get in contact with Jerome Evans.

“With all due respect Jerome if you dont hand over the kid you be in deep trouble.” you spat at him angrily. To which he simply chuckles. “And what are “you” going to do about it pops” Now it was your turn to laugh “I was beginning to think you’d never ask you see I know about everything that goes down here. What you do to the kids you know your little side hustle.” You can see Jerome’s expression change.

“Hand over the kid.” He simply nods and yells “Krast get down here!” 

(Present Time)

Y/N’s POV

“Are you okay Tony?” You ask genuinely concerned. He simply nods and smiles “I just got an idea, what if we throw you a birthday party here a Stark Tower to commemorate our partnership.” You were surprised by his initiative. “I would love it thanks for offering, but as I said it would be till a couple of months from now so we have time.” Now Pepper starts to talk “When exactly is your birthday.” You think about it and answer “Well I was born in March early march. I don’t really know the day but I usually celebrate on the 5th.” By now Tony just looks pale but you let it slide as you don't know him well.

[alwaysthrowsscissors]

Fic Writer Questions!

Thanks for the tag @venhedish dont mind if I do darlin'! Loved reading your answers too!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

17 and I started May 2020

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

84,430! Sooooo close to that 100k milestone I just need to get off my writing hiatus since I have a beefy one shot WIP and a couple kink-meme prompt fills started that will get me to the finish line!

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

On Ao3/as an adult, just Supernatural.

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Well Jung – This was my first and I’m still super surprised it took off so well considering all the head-hopping. I also hadn’t written fiction since high school so it’s pretty technically rough!

I Can’t Forget the Time and Place Where We Just Met – Who doesn’t love a good old-fashioned double amnesia fic! This was a SPN Masquerade fill and it was super fun to write!

Kiss the Cook – Another SPN Masquerade fill inspired by Dean in an apron in S15. Kitchen fucking is fun fucking!

Iodine and Stitches – 3/5 SPN Masquerade fills that I did fall 2020. Seriously such a fun event to participate in I cant recommend it enough. This is one my only fics with a serious tone throughout which is tough for this clown.

Double Jeopardy – Written for my buddy after finding out she has an intelligence kink! Cut to us giggling about Sam losing his damn mind when he plays Jeopardy with clever Dean!

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Listen…I can’t fully express how much comments give me LIFE! I want to know what you liked about my silly musings, I want to know your fav part, I want to know that I gave you a boner! I'll take a button smash, I'll take an emoticon. Anything, everything! I make a point to always respond back to show my appreciation for people taking time out of their day to make my day.

6) What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Without a shadow of a doubt Yesterday Don’t Matter if It’s Gone about what would happen if Sam and Dean hooked up during Mystery Spot and exacerbated Sam’s downward spiral during the months of Tuesdays. I write a lot of humour and this sucker is humourless PLUS has an unhappy ending! Weeee!

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you've written?

Never have but not opposed to the idea.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope, I’ve been pretty fortunate but I also write pretty tame shit. So if I start dabbling more in the archive warnings it may change. I do have a fun multichap wincestiel non-con WIP in the works 😈

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

AHAHAHAHAHA I’d say a good 90-95% of my 84k wordcount is smut! All M/M all explicit! Fun times over at Casa Scissors 😏. I do have some upcoming stuff that’s more plot heavy though which I’m looking forward to.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I fucking hope not that would be a big bummer.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! And as a noob I had to pinch myself, it still fucking blows my mind! A lovely Ao3 user Yigelulu translated I Can’t Forget the Time and Place Where We Just Met into Chinese. It was so incredibly cool to see my words in another language and a great honour that they liked my fic enough to put in all that work!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yup! Turn Your Head and Cough with my budbud Wearingdeantoprom. Dean gets his prostate rubbed for the first time at the doctors office.

14) What's your all time favorite ship?

Wincest wincest all the wincest! My brain is infected and there is no cure! I am a pro-shipper though ship and let ship my dudes. I also dabble in wincestiel and LOVE any combination of winkline and may write it one day. I don’t really read much from other fandoms. I’ve read some George/Fred (I like brother fucking ok?) and I love me some Jess Mariano/Dean Forester over in the Gilmore Girls camp (the perfect enemies to lovers) but its unfortunately such a small ship. Any souls reading this who like those ships, please drop any recs into my box!

15) What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Anything I am passionate about I will finish. I’ve only killed one thing because I got bored with it but I posted my fav part for a fic challenge. I hate not having something to show for my spent time (I know it's a hobby but it's the principle damnit!) and I hate unfinished things. Those damn little ao3 red circles haunt me 🚫

16) What are your writing strengths?

Christ uhhh I’ll say I’m most consistently praised in comments for my dialogue and it’s what always flows the smoothest for me. I think my humour is also a strength, it comes very naturally when I write which is why I have a hard time keeping it out of my fics! Times are tough I just wanna make y’all giggle ok?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Frankly, my greatest weakness is that I don’t take it seriously enough to look at my past writing critically for improvement. I also write (non-fiction) for my job and had extensive training to do so, so when its for this hobby I honestly whip it out, edit a couple times, and slap it up ‘good enough’ styles and I don’t go back to re-read once posted. I think if I looked back, I could see lots of opportunities for improvement and could go from a fine writer to a good writer. I’d also say that I’ve written pretty fun fluffy cracky smutty stuff so I guess another weakness is a lack of depth of plot and subject matter. I do want to explore this stuff more though.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

My concern is if you don’t speak the language fluently, then native speakers reading your fic might feel a big disconnect if you get colloquialisms and euphemism etc. incorrect. It could take them out of your fic if its not authentic enough. I don’t speak any other language fluently so it would END BADLY. I can speak and read French VERY POORLY and that’s it so no, I will never write in another language unless its jibberish I invented myself!

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The only fanfic I wrote before SPN last year was a handful of super cracky, gen Gundam Wing fanfiction in high school!! They are on a broken USB stick which kills me I want to read them so badly! All my other creative writing was original fiction mainly horror/thrillers. I stopped when I started my undergrad cause...that shit is a lot of work yo.

20) What's your favorite fic you've written?

My first love is my first baby Well Jung. I love the plot, I love the humour in it, I love the heart, and it’s still some of my fav sex I’ve written. And the title makes me giggle too who doesn’t love a bad pun? I'm so thrilled it was so successful but it would still be my favourite even if 3 people read it. It made me rediscover writing as a hobby and helped me explore this wonderful (yet insane) fandom. I love all my babies and I even think the writing is stronger in other fics, but he will always be #1 in my heart.

OK this was fun I love talking about fic writing! If any of you read my stuff and want to know more, hit me with an ask; I love making new frans! Tagging @oddsocksandstuff @samanddeaninpanties @raidens-realm I think my other writer mutuals have been tagged by Ven!

[teeth-and-tea]

ANIME & MANGA I HAVE BINGED IN THE LAST MONTH: May 2021

I've Been Hunting Slimes for the Past 300 Years and Now Ive Maxed Out My Level: incredibly long name aside, cute af slice of life that suffers Same Face Syndrome. I'm still happy to watch it because of how feel good and fluffy it is though, Im probably gonna forget about it in two or three years tho. 8/10.

Don't Toy With Me, Miss Nagatoro: I found out this was a webcomic first and suddenly all the HORNINESS made so much more sense. A Femdom, Degradation, Humiliation, Dacryphilia Bullies to Lovers story disguised as a high school rom-com which, I'm not going to lie, misses SKEEVY CITY by mere inches on a regular basis. However, I'm a Dom/Switch and this entire relationship sets off my dom brain center like New York City just shy of midnight. So if you're into that sort of scene, this anime is for you. If not, it's still fascinating but you're probably gonna be a little put off by how mean the Girl!Bully is to the guy MC. Unless you find out something about yourself, in which case, congrats! Stay safe, sane, consensual, and learn about the traffic light system on top of safe words, I promise you'll have a better life in general after that. Still Ongoing, currently 10/10.

Fruits Basket: IM GONNA CRY I LOVE THIS ANIME SO MUCH???? The original anime came out when I was in... I think middle school and my parents were really strict on what I watched so I never got to experience the first wave and I never bothered to watch the show ever after I moved out of the house years later. However, now that I'm much older I honestly can say this is one of my favorite anime to date, and all the characters are charming, lovable, with their own problems that I can connect to or sympathize with, and I love the MC which is always a treat tbh. Except Akito. Akito can suck a sandpaper dick. I'm only on S2 tho so no spoilers! Anime 11/10.

Monster Girl Doctor: went in thinking it was gonna be a monster girl who's a doctor with a homoerotic assistant (her name is SAPPHY okay sue me for thinking it) and ended up watching the entire dubbed harem series. Honestly, I've seen worse and this one has consistent follow-through on interesting characters and backstory enough for me to shove aside the blatant under-monstrousness of the female monsters and the harem-ness of everything else. Dubbing is honestly really good, which is a treat, and the monster designs are not the worst and the MC is tolerable. Honestly, I don't mind having watched it! The mix of cgi and the traditional animation together work pretty strangely though, and it often doesn't flow super well. 7.5/10

So I'm a Spider, So What: Dubbed version which honestly isn't that bad. Took me a bit to get into it, but after realizing that it's got a mismatched timeline a la The Witcher, it made so much more sense. Heavily done in cgi, and you can definitely tell between the 2D and 3D animations, but not the worst in the world. I went in not expecting much but it ended up being an Issekai I can stand and even enjoy. On god has a decent story... with the spider. I'd be a liar if I didnt say I skipped some of the human parts just to get back to the best part of the show. 8/10.

Somali and the Forest Spirit: I'm so fucking nostalgic for this thing it makes me want to go and hug my dad. About a human girl under threat of being eaten with a monster-dominated world. Very obvious "humans fear what they don't understand" message but instead of the humans learning tolerance it's what happens when they get annihilated first so like, kudos for the mangaka for having the guts to do that. I cried like a baby regularly. It's really good, I watched the dub and ID WATCH IT AGAIN!!! 9/10.

To Your Eternity: Oh my god. O h my g o d. Fell in love on the first episode, ngl. About if an immortal being learned how to be a person from scratch. I love it. HOWEVER. Keep a box of tissues on you at all times because you're gonna need them. I'm only on EP7 because that's all that's out right now but just know. I love it. Not for everyone but certainly for my "what do we define as human and the human condition" ass. 12/10.

Those Snow White Notes: A sports anime without any sports. About shamisen playing which is cool because I never realized how cool this instrument was??? Its neat af. OP1&2 are by Burnout Syndrom so know theyre fire. Gonna be real, its pretty alright, but not extraordinary. You can tell they were using the characters as archetypes rather than actually characters which kinda kills a lot of the emotional value you could've had, but I'm still gonna watch it. It doesn't make me cringe as hard as other sports anime tho so I consider it toptier in that regards but if you're a big sports anime fan you might be bummed out by it. Every single musical performance is INCREDIBLE tho. A solid 8/10.

Toilet Bound Hanako-kun: THE ART OMFG IT'S SO GORGEOUS. Listen, if you took coptic markers and gave them an animation budget with some manga panel direction thrown in there, that's this anime. It's beautiful. Gorgeous. I'm in love with the aesthetic every second. Story? Really good. Characters? I love the MC and his evil little twin brother asshat. Demons? Not super imaginative but I'm carrying on happy as can be anyways. Dubbing? A bit shaky at times but I found the voices charming if a little off for some of them. I'm already waiting for the second season with popcorn at the ready. 10/10.

Prison School: I watched this directly after Hanako-kun and it was like I got slapped in the face by sweaty unwashed titties and some fedora wearing schmuck's piss kink. No character is likable or redeemable. I finished it, but at what cost? 2/10 and only because a character shit his pants and I laughed.

Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle: watched this right after Prison School and it was NECESSARY tbh. Its so CUTE and honestly, im not even kidding you, the fucking funniest anime I've seen in months. I watched the dub and the VAs are having the time of their lives working on this anime not just giving it their all but literally just going ham. Its great. If I read this im sure id be bored outta my mind but the VAs giving it a joyous performance make it an insta fave for me tbh. 9/10.

Sk8 the Infinity: i watched the dub with my bro and I can confirm that its a spectacular show because we both loved it and we have vastly different tastes. Incredibly SUSPENSFUL AND STRESSFUL for an anime about skateboarding but we finished it in a single sitting tbh. The last episode is not dubbed for some reason but we still loved it. Like if Free! was less obnoxious but the only fan-service here is Joe ♡ a beefcake who owns my lesbian heart. I think there's exactly one named female character tho and I legit couldn't tell you what it was if there was a gun to my head. So, over all, 9.5/10.

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime: I'm going to be entirely honest, I went in thinking it was going to be a boring isekai of no value. I was right about the Isekai part. It was honestly pretty interesting and focused on nation building like you're playing civilization rather than the usual "Get Stronger" narrative or "Get Some Pussy" narrative most isekais take which is delightfully refreshing. Granted there are flavors of that in this which means it doesn't alienate the big isekai watchers out there, but it's not the whole dish and it doesn't make me want to cringe the same way others do. You've got a slime MC just vibing and building a nation of monsters nbd. Does lose points for making the female monsters more humanoid than their male counterparts but makes them back by only doing perfunctory fan-service and nothing that makes me want to cry... except the butt sumo episode but in fairness it was all a terrible dream. Literally, the MC refuses to dream anymore after that. solid animation, decent voice acting, decent story, made me realize how HUGE this is in the Light Novel community???? There's like 18 fucking novels and that's WILD. 8.5/10.

MANGA:

Spirit Photographer Saburo Kono: a one shot special by the mangaka of The Promised Neverland! Honestly a really delicate touch of both super creepy and really touching, and I'm not gonna lie I'm bummed that this isn't a bigger project but the single chapter makes it a good taste for their style. I've been wondering if I wanna read/watch The Promised Neverland and now I think I will. 10/10

Deranged Detective Ron Kamonohashi: from the mangaka of Hitman Reborn comes this Sherlock and Watson derivative! Not even 20 chapters out yet with a sort of spotty schedule, I honestly love it even thought it's exactly as you expect. HOWEVER. Kamonohashi the "Sherlock" character uses mental pressure to kill all confirmed murderers and it's up to Toto the "Watson" character to save all those people before Kamonohashi kills them! It's just recently introduced a "Moriarty" family of crime lords (not a big spoiler don't worry it was obvious) so the tension surrounding Ron's past is amping up rn. Personally, I think the art is GORGEOUS, the characters engaging, and the story quick enough to keep my interest. Most mysteries are solved within a chapter or two so you're not stuck 20 chapters into one locked room mystery which is just peachy tbh. RN, 10/10. If this gets an anime, I anticipate a legion of fangirls who ship the two main characters along with their many friends. I've been alive too long to believe otherwise.

Don't Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro: Yeah I read the manga after I watched the show. A slower build than the anime, but it works for the format, if theyd done the same with the show then I don't think it wouldve done as well. Honestly? Cuter tbh but just as horny. You dont start really LEARNING about your character until like, chap 65 tho and no real "drama" happens until like 75. A good chunk of the chapters are like 8pgs so its a breeze to get through. I love these slow burn idiots of the century. 9.5/10 because you can DEFINITELY tell the mangaka does hentai too.

Yugen's All-Ghouls Homeroom: one-shot by the mangaka for Food Wars, it's no wonder there's this constant perviness from the MC, a guy who can see and exorcise spirits. Takes place at an all girl's finishing school with KICK ASS monsters tbh, kinda bummed its not longer. The MC? Blatant monsterfucker who is also a CONFRIMED monsterfucker???? Idk i vibe with that single emotion. Everything else is hit or miss. 7/10 for monsters and cool concept, lost points for the MC very pointedly being okay with admitting he'd wait for the teenagers to be adults tho. Creepy af. Could live without that.

Hell's Paradise: I finished the entire 127chps in 3 days and I was really enthusiastic about it 90% of the time thinking about how deep it was and then I actually thought about it and I ended up being very neutral about the whole thing tbh. The art is fantastic tho, but DEFINITELY deserving of the M rating. Tits. Tits everywhere. But not tits to be ecchi over, no, monster hermit tits on beautiful women-ish figures. Now generally I give that a pass but a huge theme in the story is that men and women are "no better than one or the other" but like, lady tits are what you see 99% of the time. Men tits are few and far between. I call bullshit on most of the "deep" themes is what I'm saying, so it's like the mangaka was trying for those deep thoughts but missed the margin a little too far for my preference. That being said, the MC is a married man who loves his wife which automatically makes him my favorite character so like... idk so many good things, so many misses, but overall really spectacular themes and imagery. Unique but classic all at once. It's getting an anime and I have NO IDEA how much censorship they're gonna be doing but they're going to be doing SO MUCH. Oh yeah, and one guy is a plant/human hybrid who fucks a 1000 year old plant-hermit which makes him a canon monster fucker. And one canon non-binary character who I, a nonbinary, actually like. So like... gosh I've got mixed feelings. 8.5/10.

Choujin X: From Sui Ishida, mangaka to the mega hit Tokyo Ghoul comes this brand new manga!... Of one chapter, lol. Not really binge-y because it's just the one chapter out right now but I'm already keeping my eye on it. The grasp on anatomy in the art is PHENOMENAL and you can see Ishida flexing his art skill which is great. Can't give a true rating but I'm giving it a tentative 9/10 because I'm excited to see more.

Shag&Scoob: technically not a manga, its an ongoing webcomic I binged an subscribed to in one day and I just think it deserves more attention. Starts off funny with "what if Scooby Doo had a gun" and has been led to "what if all cartoons are aliens that survive and receive their powers by the humans that love them in an epic war with Martians." On god, its good. I finished the current series in a couple hours so it's a breezy read, highly recommend it. 9/10.

To Your Eternity: Yeah I watched the anime and then finished all current 143 chapters in like 3 days. GOD IM WEAK. I don't buy physical manga unless I know I want to remember the story forever and I'm already budgeting for the current books out. Yeah, this is a good series. That being said, definitely not for the faint of heart or those who suffer under common triggers like suicide, molestation, death, etc. It's all framed as bad and necessary to the story don't get me wrong, but it's there and has lasting affects on the characters. Incredible story telling by the creator of A Silent Voice. Keep tissues nearby at all times. 12/10.