#THE QUALITY LOL I hate you Tumblr | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

localicecreambiter · 3 months ago

Text

beware the yappening

if you saw me post this, no you didnt

I hate tumblr mobile

IF IT WASNT CLEAR BY THE SPIKE IN FOUR SWORDS CONTENT ITS BEEN ON MY MIND LATELY!!! so obviously that means the obligatory redesigns >:) I tried not to play too far into the stereotypes (not that there's anything wrong in indulging in those!!... i did throw in headcanons tho, like heightened and dulled senses... ill explain dw)

we'll start with shadow since I kinda forgot to draw him initially, lol. sorry buddy 😥 I gave him a shard of the mirror as a means of being able to exist. he can still float around and slip into the shadows and all, but he's not as powerful as he was when the mirror was full. (his ego definitely still is big though) he's not fond of chainmail despite the rest of the four and Link wearing it. his tunic mirrors what links would've looked like. any triforce motifs appearing upside-down and little swirl on his belt backward since he's from the Dark World and all that jazz. silly stuff. I kept it relatively simple since I doubt Link is very over the top, and Shadow has no sense of bodily autonomy at that point (he would so have an over the top outfit, let's be real) Obviously he gets along well with Vio, but he and Blue banter quite a bit. Sure, both mistakenly get offended sometimes but it's all in good fun! His hair looks a little more rounded here, but it's usually more flowey and sticks up every which way. unruly hair for an unruly boy. shadow loves quality time!!! what could be better than hanging out with those you love and burning down towns??? okay, void the town burning.

Red's design is also fairly simple: longer skirt, exposed chainmail, sleeved tunic, and a rounded collar. he has a rounder shape language (not that I paid too much attention to it, obviously) his hat curls up where the elemental stone is at. no one understands how it does this. Red thinks it's some knick knack he stored in there. UNNATURALLT WARM. like. concerningly warm. He's their magic user, preferring to use his magic rod over his sword (honestly, probably could wipe the floor with the other three if given a good magic item, but don't tell them that)(and yes im calling it a magic rod cuz it shoots fire and ice) Poor Red got the short end of the stick with poor hearing but great taste buds. He's a foodie at heart and it's obvious why. His hair is a lot fluffier and rounder than the other three, matching his soft and bubbly personality. Not a pant wearer. Obviously he has the magic rod and slingshot, but i also gave him the Bombos medallion since its an item in the FSA game. Green suggested they split the loot evenly. No. He's not allowed to use it. Yes, he's accidentally blown up a lot of things with it. That's why hes not allowed to use it. definitely a physical touch kinda love language guy. you know exactly why. impulsive spender. has quite a few burn scars from learning to use the fire rod. most of his tunics are a little singed, but he keeps some neat

ah, Green, the resident insomniac. usually that's Vio's role, but you cannot tell me this guy didn't get Link's terrible sleeping habits. he constatly looks sleep deprived in some compacity, but he's getting better! sure, it usually means someone has to hold him down until he sleeps but hey! better than nothing! his tunic matches most Links with the sleeved overtunic and collared undershirt. he uses he sword quite often, having the most finesse with the weapon out of the group. occasionally he'll bust out the boomerang. sort of the unofficial leader, keeping the group on track, but is always open to suggestions from the rest of the Colors. I gave him the Pegasus boots, since I'd assume they all don't get the loot they would've picked up along the way. His element is wind, so it felt the most fitting he had them. his hair is a little messy, and sure he sometimes has a stick in there, but he does his best to keep it combed. Despite his drowsiness, he's got sharp eyes (the best in the group, as a matter-of-fact!) Unfortunately, his sense of smell is lacking (but clearly he has it a lot better than Red does. I mean, seriously, id take hawkeyes over tasteaholic any day). Hes a little shit when playing Ispy; typically picking really tiny things and reveling in the fact no one can guess it. his elemental stone is attatched to his belt even though its a place it can get easily lost. somehow he has yet to lose it. the back problems arise from Link, mostly, though his isnt as bad as Vio's (maybe because hes not slouched over a desk half the time, but i digress) Typically level headed and focused, keeping the group moral high with Red (aka, keeping Vio and Blue's moral high because they tend to be more pessimistic) (well, Vio considers himself a realist and Blue is Blue)

since i dont consider Shadow that much of an idiot, Vio probably had to actually stab Green to make it look convincing. While the scar isn't big, there's once on his lower abdomen from the Four Sword. They didn't have any health potions, so they had to go back down the mountain to get him help. Green holds no resentment, knowing Vio did what had to be done to gain the enemies trust. the cheek scar is from the pyramid cuz there aint no way he got out of that unscathed fighting against Valenzuela. more of a words of affirmation guy, but enjoys quality time like the rest of them.

Vio is obviously their whittier member. honestly, if he were to be described in DnD stats, he'd have a high intelligence and a medium wisdom because man is this man stupid sometimes. he's not as outwardly arrogant as Blue, at least, not as loud with it. his clothes are usually wrinkled, being more focused on bookwork than much else (this pisses Blue off to no end, being the neat freak he is) despite this, his room is the definition of organized chaos. he knows where everything is, and if you move something, he will not be happy. also not a pant wearer, his tunic has a longer skirt than the others and his sleeves are a lot looser. his hair tends to droop into his eyes and somehow this has yet to get in the way. he prefers to pick off enemies from afar as the team's bowsman. amazing aim and a very steady hand. while he doesn't have as big of a magic reserve as Red, he can still use elemental arrows (probably in the same way as in WindWaker) strangely bad at math (simply because i find it amusing) and is pissed that Blue is good at is (again, because i find it amusing. it freaks Blue out) Vio is more of an acts of service kind of guy, but like everyone else enjoys quality time. especially when it's quiet quality time. impuslive spender, mostly on books. everyone else insists he uses the library, but he argues its different when you own the book. impecible hearing, cannot taste shit. it makes eating rations easier, but sadly cannot enjoy the nicer foods in life, so he tends to choose things based on texture. Got the brunt of the back pain, but makes it worse with how he sits and for how long he does. honestly has a weird complex where he thinks of himself as superior to the rest in a way, yet also manages to struggle to fit in and hates himself for it. not explicitly touch avoident, but hes not one to seek out physical affection often and tends to be one of the first to push Red off (other than Blue) his stone is pined to his bow holster since he tends to always have it on him, he wont lose it that way. the fact that the rest have theirs in such irresponsible spots upsets him. refuses to sleep until he's done something he considers productive.

last but not least: Blue! my favorite guy!! god what a prick, i hate him. his design is a lot more knightly with more chainmail and a brutish sort of look. he's intimidating alright, even at his 4'11 stature. look. hylians are short. his hair is spikey like his personality and his hat is more angular (mostly cuz he folds it everynight. theres permanent crease marks in it) ends up with the most scaring thanks to his irrisponsible sparing and little use of healing potions (yet despite this, he's the group medic) the nick in his ear was from some random enemy camp that he just ignored for a while. I never said he was a responsible medic when it came to himself. hes mean, sure, but hes trying. just a little blunt. okay, very blunt. very blunt and very angry. hear me out: mom friend. if that mom was divorced and had anger issues. he knows the others are fully capible of handling themselves, cuz if he survives, why shouldn't they? despite that, he still worries. I know that it says his left eye is blind, but he can still see some color, its just reaaal blurry. does anyone know that? only red. will he tell anyone else? not unless he has to. does he run into shit when hes not paying attention. sometimes, yeah. to top it off, he - like red - got the short stick with shit vision but a heightened sense of smell. he can smell a monster camp from up to a mile away. impressive, right? dont tell him that. this boy has a lot of injury issues, being as reckless as he is. the knee injury was from a particularly nasty moblin (possibly the same as where the eye scar came from. who knows? he wont tell) and got worse as it got ignored. look, when you're the medic, you gotta make sure everyone else is okay before you. at least, thats how Blue sees it. not to even mention the nerve damage from being frozen for god knows how long. I don't know about you, but (assuming it was a Wizrobe) being magically frozen has its side effects. so what hes a walking icepack (exaggerating, but he's cold enough outwardly that you can feel it) and so what his hair grows in a few shades lighter than everyone elses? they don't gotta know why or when or how or even that it happens. the hair dye is stashed under his bed and he will die if anyone finds out. it reeeally fucked with his magic, seeing as hes associated with the water element.. do green and vio know about any of this? nope. red was sworn (read: threatened) to silence. probably the most physically fit when split, and makes sure to take good care of his body. he likes to push himself, hence the ankle weights. always has to be doing something productive. hes their financial guy, somehow having the least impuslive spending habits. will typically only spend on necessary things. gets mad at the others for buying egregiously expensive recreational shit. (that umbrella shadow has? yeah. expensive as hell. he was not happy) the most touch avoident of the bunch. unexpectedly, blue is a gift giving guy. he gets embarassed about it when you question it, or even when hes giving it to you, but yeah. he likes giving things to people and then will throw insults at their face. not in a mean way. in a "im embarassed and you suck so shut up" way. quality time is something he enjoys as well, liking to spar with his brothers often. can easily master a lot of melee weapons, its impressive, but cannot for the life of him make anything else work. his stone was made into an earring, and despite vio's complaints, he usually knows when its missing.

#the legend of zelda #my art #loz #four swords manga #red link #vio link #green link #blue link #shadow link #fsa #return of the nerd book #ref sheet #tldr i yap #chat thoughts on he/she blue #Four Swords #Four Swords Adventure

148 notes · View notes

doyoulikethissong-poll · 5 months ago

Text

Commonly asked questions

How do I submit songs? Submissions are currently closed. When it opens up again, I'll post a message here stating rules and which specific info I require. If you don't supply that info along with the song, your message will be deleted.

I submitted a song when we were allowed. When will it appear? :) There's waaay over two thousand songs in my askbox. 😅 And I'm very slow at posting submitted songs because it takes an oddly more amount of time and energy than you'd think, that's why it's easier for me to go with the songs I already have. Please have a bit more patience, hopefully it'll be posted soon enough! 💖

I don't like the genres posted recently. 🤷‍♀️ I mean, you can tell me what genres there's a lack of and I'll try put more effort into adding more of them.

I don't like the poll options. 🤷‍♀️

Will there be an "Indifferent" option? No. People bitched and very rudely demanded it when the blog was new and it left a very sour taste. Also we're 250+ songs in, it's kinda meh to add it now, but I definitely understand why you want it because some songs are really hard to define if you feel anything at all about them. (also you know people would just click indifferent to see the results instead of listening to the song lol) If I were to ever add more options, it would be love/hate.

How do I vote on a song if I feel indifferent about it? Indifferent = don't like it ig. 🤷‍♀️ Remember, I'm not asking you if you LOVE!!!!!! the song, or if you want to buy it. Liking can be as good as only a "meh, it's ok / decent enough to run in the background". Disliking can be being indifferent instead of outright hating it, when it's so neutral to you that it doesn't give you any positive feelings. It is only a minute long clip that I'm asking you to form an opinion about after all; you can change your mind either way when you hear the full version. Sometimes songs have to grow on you!

How do you pick the songs used in the polls? Mostly like this:

I have a huge mp3 hoarding archive so the submitted songs are easier for me to pick if they're already in my possession. 😅 Songs that aren't in my collection (tagged as #new to admin :D lol. sometimes i search out songs specifically for the poll that are tagged this as well) requires a bit more effort to download/listen to/edit but i have discovered a couple of great new gems so don't think i don't appreciate them!

How do I search for a specific artist/song that you've posted? All artists are tagged a day or so after the song reveal. Don't forget to use the hashtag symbol when searching or tumblr will give you all sorts of odd results!!!! (or none at all, lol) Please also remember that tumblr finds simple easy tasks extremely difficult, so only search for an artist with the easiest type of spelling, like #beyonce instead of #beyoncé. All artists and songs are added to the Complete Song List once their showdown poll is finished, for a quick search of what's been posted.

The audio quality is too poor for my taste!! 😡 sad </3

This is just for you. 💖

Why are all the songs of such vast variating quality? ....i mean, you didn't think I've bought all the tens of thousands of songs in my music library, did you...? Pirating songs gives you variations of quality, hell even my own cd rips have variations. It's easier to get better quality files now than it was back in the days, kiddos, so yeah some songs in the archives needs to be updated with new files. I have some very ancient mp3's that are in really low sound, that i've instead downloaded newer versions of in better quality for the polls but y'all still give me shit about it because the artist have remastered the track to unrecognition or whatever so there's just no pleasing some people i guess lmao. 😂

Do you like all the songs you've posted? No, lol. All the songs that are in my archive are songs I've at least liked enough once upon a time to save them, even if I'm not actively listening to them much anymore. Everything tagged as #new to admin :D are new songs to me that I may or may not like, regardless if they're submitted or if I've scouted them out myself only for the polls. :) Songs that I hate so much that I can't stand them are very few, and I won't waste time on adding them!

Did you change the song in the poll?? No. Maybe you clicked on the wrong one if I posted them too close together or maybe (most likely) tumblr has screwed something up for you. Some songs don't even show at times because it's tumblr being tumblr, just wait it out for a few minutes and tumblr will eventually remember to play the audio. So far there's only one song that I had to re-upload because tumblr killed the file. I can change the clip to better audio or to another part of the same song, but I never replace it to a different one once it's out there for you to vote on, I don't see the point of doing that.

Why are some polls audio files and other video files? Again: tumblr being tumblr. They won't allow some songs to be uploaded as audio, but using them in videos is ok. I hate the audio-as-video format and it requires even more effort from me so I'm not doing it on purpose. :)

I don't remember if I've heard this song before or not. If you know you've heard it, like if you're a fan or a hater or the song has been constantly played on the radio, you know it. (this is why the phrasing has been changed again in the latest polls) If you don't remember it, or just vaguely, or just a specific tiny part used in a meme/tiktok video, choose first time. The only thing that matters is the yes or no, knowing it or not is just an added fun but don't take it too seriously. :) Look at it sort of like "old fan/casual listener/hater vs new listener".

The part of the song that you posted SUCKS!!!! You should have just posted this one specific famous part for people to vote yes! "don't post the actual song in this song poll" ...................................like, no. not gonna post just the meme-bits or the drops or the whatever. Yeah i saw all the comments how you all clicked dislike on "Out of Touch" because you voted before you got to the chorus 😂 That's an honest opinion about the song lol, because a song is more than just a catchy chorus or a big drop. But yeah, sometimes one verse of a song would've maybe been better to post instead of that other verse, I'm with you on that.

I queued this song to see what it is but it's still stated as being Anonymous for me! Reblogs, drafts and queues will only show you what's there at the time, like a screenshot. It won't update automatically. All your reblogs, drafts and queued posts from when the poll is active will only show up as Anonymous songs. Always go back to the original post to see the song reveal. If the info isn't there, then give me a day or two to update the post because most likely things are too busy irl. 💖

I voted wrong/voted before I recognized the song! Will you change my vote? No, I'm not recounting anything wth. 😅

I'm embarrassed. I like the song but I don't want others to know that I do. I promise you that nobody but you can see how you've voted. Not me or your mutuals. Only you see what you've voted on. It's ok to like bad songs, and it's ok to like good songs by bad people. Don't let others shame you for that.

How do I vote on this cover/remix that was posted instead of the original? If you feel like this version is close to the original that you like, vote yes. If you don't feel like this version does the original song justice, vote no, even if it hurts.

This song that I don't know samples another song that I do know. How do I vote? I don't consider samples being used as being the same song, so pick first time. Unlike covers/remixes, the original song that has been sampled might show up at a later time, if it hasn't already been on here before.

How does so many people not know this song!!? Everyone is not your age/not from your country and your experience is not universal. 🤷‍♀️ That being said, I too get wtf-moments sometimes because some songs really do get wacky results, so, yeah 😂

Have you ever thought about-- Yes.

I demand you give me a rickroll!!!!!! Ask things nicely instead of demanding things from me. (This is the most common demand I've gotten, sigh. Thanks to those of you who have at least asked nicely and/or with a sense of humour!)

Please do a rickroll? It's already been posted in a bonus poll. It might show up in a "real" poll in years from now if this poll blog is still active but as of now it was added to a tumblr meme post where it was better suited.

I'm gonna ignore that submissions are closed and send you song suggestions anyway!!!! They will be deleted because they're not asked for atm. Unless you're the artist. Exceptions can be made in that case. :)

This poll blog doesn't respect my requirement to know who the artists are before I listen to their songs because of my need - that is very important that everyone else needs to acknowledge and follow - to know if a person is of a good moral standing according to my own views!! 😡 There's other poll blogs better suited for you. Not everything online has to be adjusted to fit *your* particular needs. 🤷‍♀️ (YES i've actually gotten this demand way too often. Sigh.)

Why was my reblog hidden from the notes where I spew hatred over an artist?! You are censoring me!!!! Did you mention the artist by name, or other obvious spoilers? Don't post spoilers. 🤷‍♀️

You hid this other comment I made with no spoilers!!!!! Sometimes comments show in dashboard mode but not in app mode and vice versa, or not even in the notifications. Haven't we already established that tumblr finds easy stuff extremely difficult? Also, sometimes you and I don't share an opinion of what a spoiler means. To all of you who have claimed an artist's name isn't a spoiler, yeah it's kind of a big one. As for the artist mentioning their own name or the song title in the song, you only hear that once you listen to the clip. Knowing it before even clicking to play the music is a spoiler.

Why have you turned off replies? I want to say things without reblogging!! I mean 🤷‍♀️ I'm sure you know why. Replies and anons have been turned off from the very beginning. The few times replies actually have been turned on, it's been stated as such and been very temporarily, like when we've discussed music in some post.

Turn on anon!!! I'm to shy to say thing off-anon! I mostly reply to things privately, or this blog would be nothing but q&a. Anons are off for a reason. Abuse and death threats are to be associated with the sender's account for all to see. I'm always nice to nice people so there's no need to worry about sending me questions or tagging me in things. :) 💖

I demand you to-- Pay me. :)

Shut up and take the abuse thrown at you personally because you're just a poll blog! You are aware that the poll blogs on tumblr aren't actually run by bots, right? Don't be an obnoxious twat. (and ughh yes, this too has been said to me several times. Sigh.)

I want you to add this song I want RIGHT NOW and/or i WANT these other options added now! Rich people can always break all the rules, just like irl. Just give me the $$$$ 😘

I don't like this song because I don't understand the language. Please only post English songs. Ok well, I mean, you can always learn other languages. 🤷‍♀️ Just like how I learned English.

If anyone feels targeted by these last questions without me meaning to, I'm sorry. These actually are the most common questions and comments and demands I've gotten in my askbox. Especially when the blog was new and people Demanded Their Rights to have me adjust everything to suit them. Don't feel like you can't state your thoughts in reblogs or in messages because as long as you're not being rude to me, my attitude on some answers isn't targeted at you, only at them. �� Remember to just have fun with the polls and hopefully you and/or your mutuals discover new music!

#qna

295 notes · View notes

sharptoothed-gaze · 7 months ago

Text

The qsmp situation remains outside of our fandom control, so egg kids be upon thee!

I was working on this awhile ago, but here it is finished. These are a few of my egg designs, but I’ll probably continue to play around with them. Also I drew Richas in a slightly different style because I wanted to play around with brushes.

ANYWAY, if you enjoy this art reblogs are always appreciated! <3 And click it for higher quality of course, Tumblr just hates art lol.

#I love these kiddos!!!#I have Chayanne and Tallulah designs and im working on some art of them #I still need to start creating some designs of the other eggs tho!#qsmp #qsmp eggs #qsmp richarlyson #qsmp sunny #qsmp pepito #qsmp empanada #qsmp leonarda #qsmp fanart

207 notes · View notes

meelkiewee · 3 months ago

Text

Hello!

As a first post i wanted to share my favourite bubbies and since tumblr seems more text oriented than the other socials I have, I'd like to explain what was going on in my head while doing their character redesigns~ [BOOKS SPOILERS MENTIONED]

INTRODUCTION

These character designs were made back in winter 2022 for a sort of animation thesis. Many things didn't go according to plan in that school year so for lack of time and motivation I've never really finished the animatic but I will include a wip at the end of this post. The animatic was about my interpretation of their story, finding a person to call home while in a crude and terrible world.

XIE LIAN

Xie Lian is the first of the two I made, his character design was very clear in my mind since the start. It's not largely distant from your official usual XL but I thought it already fitted very well.

The three main colors for XL are white, black and golden yellow. The prevalence of black and white colors was inspired by two main factors:

I personally see XL as a heavily dichotomy based character, not only in the association to the White Clothed Calamity but also in the way he's described as pretty as a flower but skillful with the sword, following a chaste path but mingling with a ghost king, all kind smiles to others but struggling with his own hope, etcetera, etcetera. He is in a constant struggle to find a third option that is better than simply bad or good, mostly in his early God's days, and also later on with ‘not knowing whether to laugh or cry’. So in here, black and white represent the reality of human nature, where you have bad and good qualities alike, a concept I think XL struggled with a lot since he was brought up as the perfect and pure prince that can do no wrong.

According to my research of the meaning behind colors in the chinese culture I discovered black and white can symbolize many things, some of which I found quite fitting for where I wanted to go with my character design. Black can stand for sadness and bad luck. White represents brightness, purity and innocence. In some instances, however, white is also associated with death and is a color commonly worn at funerals. Moreover in my own culture black and white, along with deep blue, are very elegant colors to wear. Simple and elegant is what my XL wants to look like.

Another important part of my XL character design is his bamboo hat.

Following some good old christian imagery I used his hat as an halo. Most of the time I even ignored perspective to make sure his head is always framed in this golden saintly circle In my animatic storyline specifically it represents XL perfection. Soon the hat is lost in the mud and brought back later on by HC with a new meaning of finding yourself in a safe environment with safe people.

For most of the other design choices I took decisions based on pure aesthetics such as giving him a very elegant mole under the eye, very long and lucious hair and a very very long hanfu with some very very long sleeves. Yes, I wanted him to be very very everything because I very very love him!

Here are some other very very outfits i drew him in for fun and didn’t need for the animatic:

_____________________________________

HUA CHENG

As a premise to my HC character design I want to say I am very amused at people’s different reactions to it. They are usually neatly split in two: either they hate it with a passion or just fall head over heels in love with it, no in between. I personally am in the ‘love it’ side (duh of course I am, I designed it lol) but I also understand if your first thought is “WHO TF IS THAT?”, so let me explain my thought process here.

Firstly, hot take: official HC character is made to be your perfect cool-hot-mysterious-boyfriend™ that has it more together than you do and we don’t like that in this household, at least not always. Yes he is XL’s most devoted believer, yes he is a very powerful supreme, yes he’s always there for his Gege but in the end he’s also a very traumatized person that has had a crush for a guy for 800+ years.

What I’m saying is I wanted him to be a little more relatable and goofy than what books show us so I integrated some of his personality hidden away in E’Ming. From here I got the puffy messy hair, the big round eye and the doubtful expression.

Next up let’s talk about the palette. He also has, like XL, three main colors:

Blue. Mostly of the time he spends around XL he does it in his true form, wich is the form of a dead person (even dead more than once;;). This is pretty self explanatory, when someone dies the hue of their skin goes to blue and also ghosts in general are frequently represented pale blue or white in color. As a little side note to this, I really enjoyed the blue demons HuaLian episode in donghua S2, it made me feel less alone in my smurf choice lol.

Red. This is canonically HC’s color and rightfully so! Red is widely recognized as China's color of good fortune, and in my culture, it is frequently used as a symbol of passion and the color of blood. There is really nothing better than red for Mr. Crimson Rain!

Lilac. Although I'm not sure about my research on this color in Chinese culture, I've read that it modernly represents love or romance. However, growing up in my hometown, purple (and all its shades) was always associated with ugliness and was thought to be a bad omen if worn. Whoever had the nerve to wear it was regarded as a distasteful and ominous weirdo. I think it fitted perfectly with how every other Heaven Official other than XL sees HC; someone who makes blood rain for fun and a potential and actual threat to the Heavenly Court.

As for XL, other choices I made serve a mostly aesthetic purpose. HC’s boxy build, pointy ears and the opened robe to see tiddies(🤩) are some of the notable ones.

HC would not be complete without E’Ming, obviously. After comparing some different blades and trying to integrate a butterfly in the design, I opted for keeping it simple and I ended up with this wobbly shaped hilt made to resemble HC’s bang. The fact that now E’Ming looks like it has a big nose is just an added charm honestly.

CONCLUSION

Thanks for reading until this point I hope you enjoyed my yap and make sure to have a nice day/night! <33

I'll leave the link to my animatic wip here, please note once again that it is not finished in the slightes and there are also some funky expressions that don't really fit the mood lol enjoyyy!

-Sole

#to die for you in battle is my greatest honor #meelkiewee tgcf #meelkiewee #hualian redesign #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #hualian #hua cheng #xie lian #heaven official's blessing #hua cheng tgcf #crimson rain sought flower #taizi dianxia #tgcf fanart #dianxia #e ming #eming #gege

75 notes · View notes

vvatchword · 1 year ago

Text

In Defense of BioShock Infinite

Although I had preordered BioShock Infinite with all its bells and whistles, I did not actually play it until January 2023. And lordy, I had me another Experience with a capital E. How the hell a bunch of urban Yanks could capture my experience as a queer democratic-socialist atheist struggling with her roots as a rural evangelical-cum-fascist is kinda magical, honestly. As to the game itself, it didn’t hurt how good it looked—the kickass skyhook gun battles—that novel setting—the complex characters—that delicious historical setting—that bloodthirsty critique of America—and to top it all off, they had pulled yet another Cassandra. Hell, speaking of which—not only was the game fun, it was fucking smart. It was intelligent, memorable, and meaningful in a way I hadn’t experienced in video games for years.

Now, back in 2013, when I had realized that I would be spoiled for Infinite, I left the BioShock fandom. After completing the game, I headed to Tumblr to re-engage, wagging my whole body like an excitable golden retriever, only to discover that BioShock Infinite was remarkably absent, and when mentioned, brutally derided.

“I hate BioShock Infinite and all my friends do, too,” someone said in the tags under a post.

I was utterly befuddled and deeply sad. I wanted to talk about BioShock Infinite! I wanted to dig into it, uncover unexpected ideas, learn new things, talk shit, make new friends—the full fandom experience. And instead I kept stumbling into hateful diatribes and super-charged disgust.

Obviously, I first looked at myself and my own judgment. Had I missed some obvious problem or misread some theme or dialogue? This wouldn’t be the first time I’d snapped down on a hook. But the more I thought about it, the angrier I got.

There are two parts of BioShock Infinite that are unquestionably terrible: the fridging of Daisy Fitzroy and the false equivalence of violence between haves and have-nots (lol what are the have-nots supposed to do, ask nicely?). Additionally, one could look at the use of real Native American tragedies as tasteless. Personally, I do not—in the same way that I don’t find it tasteless that real war victims were used as inspiration for Splicer deformities. This is what really happened; this is commentary on events that really happened to real people.

At this point, I’m sure I don’t have to explain why two of these themes are Unequivocally Bad.

Anyway, I thought that perhaps these were the reasons BSI had been condemned to Super Hell.

I was wrong.

How Criitcsim Werk

This wasn’t the fandom I’d made friends in over 2010. Hell, this wasn’t the fandom of 2013. This was a fandom made up of Babies. They were making their first coltish stumblings into media criticism and with it, dredging up the same brain-dead bullshit from Tumblr circa 2008.

Suddenly I was brought face to face with people who seemed to think that if a character couldn’t be likable or good that the story itself couldn’t be likable or good; that one bad element means the story is unsalvageable (lol u pussies); the implication that one is bad for liking it; the destructive juvenile insistence that media accurately measures its fans’ moral qualities en masse like an astrological sign. This goes far beyond simple like or dislike and plunges head-first into Puritanism: praying loudly on street-corners instead of quietly in a dark corner where God might hear you.

At one point I had a kid go off about how they wouldn’t take time to understand Booker DeWitt’s perspective because he had (fictionally) taken part in a genocide. (That same person said the Native American element had been employed for shock value, a thought that sometimes keeps me up at night, because it is legitimately one of the dumbest criticisms the game has ever received.) At another point I saw someone acting personally offended that (fictional person) Dr. Suchong’s (fictional) data was being stolen (in a fiction) by a (fictional) racist who would (fictionally) take credit for (fictional person) Suchong’s (fictional) inventions “while calling him slurs”. Sure, a better question would have been, “Why would the creative team opt to do this” rather than assume intentional racism from a Jewish creative director with an in-office multi-ethnic team in the year of our lord 2013, but why not handwave the choice with prurient moral dismay so your audience won’t beat you to death with bats?

It was as though fans were treating these completely fictional characters as real people whose personal gods had opted to torment them, and that their tormentors merited the kind of censure that psychopaths should receive. As I hope all of you understand, this is fucking madness.

More than once I saw people posting about hating the studio or the creative director in ways that seemed intense, unreasoning, and excessive—notably an “I Hate [Irrational Games creative director] Ken Levine” stamp (rofl the more things change amirite). People get so performatively moralistic about it that I started wondering if I missed something big along the way. Was there some secret Voxophone I missed swearing fealty to baby Hitler or some shit?

Double Standards

At the same time, I was utterly confused. BioShocks 1 and 2 both featured some absolutely ghastly bullshit based on real-life horrors and a thick mix of complicated human beings—many of them victims who have become monsters. The fact they are grounded in historical tragedies is a huge part of their appeal. Hell, I don’t think those games would have had half their meaning without World Wars I and II and the threat of a third.

A gay man who feels so cursed by his orientation that he is incapable of intimacy and systematically destroys his ex-lovers—including the man he loves the most. A Korean who survived Japanese occupation and a Jewish Holocaust survivor repeat the violence and traumas exacted upon them and their people, subjecting a new generation to agonies unthinkable. Chasing the shadows of Bolsheviks, a Russian citizen becomes the brutal tyrant that he loathed. A rich lawyer with an easygoing drawl designs a concentration camp and systematically harvests hundreds, if not thousands of political prisoners, selling them out to medical testing for a quick buck.

But a Native man who destroys his own people and class to ensure his own survival and social acceptability is too far? This character is where people drew the line, so much so that the entire game is disavowed? Hell, if you’re just talking about Booker (rather than Comstock), he doesn’t have anywhere near the largest bodycount. If we were to judge on the metric of human misery alone, Booker wouldn’t even hit the top ten.

Keep in mind that the most-discussed BioShock game on Tumblr is BioShock 2, and that one of the biggest fandom favorites is Augustus Sinclair—the easy-talkin’ Georgia lawyer who sells your character into horrors past all human comprehension, as he sold hundreds before and after you. Sinclair is a motherfucker so vile that BioShock 2 gives you no choice but to murder him. But Sinclair is also pleasant; good-looking to some; spends the whole game making sweet love to your ear; is one of the only true positive experiences you experience in a horror story. Unlike DeWitt, a man who is brutal and awful from step one, Sinclair is smooth and sweet. Unlike DeWitt, Sinclair’s victims are faceless, completely fictional, and carry no political or social baggage.

People fuckin’ ship this guy with Subject Delta, his explicit victim. He’s usually described as a squishy cinnamon roll. In most fanfiction, he often gets to escape to the surface and fuck Delta while helping raise Eleanor as Dad 2. It is rare that I find fanfiction that acknowledges his monsterhood in all its glory. In fact, I can only think of two.

Literacy Comes in Levels

My problem with the over-the-top hatred of BioShock Infinite is along the same lines as my confusion at Twilight and Harry Potter hate: there is so much worse out there (how much do the haters actually engage with media if they think this is that bad—yes, even considering the shitty creators themselves!), the hatred far outweighs the sin committed (in BioShock’s case, the truly bad bits are not central enough to derail the larger narrative), people don’t seem to hate it so much as they want to be seen hating it, fans want to enforce an unspoken rule hating it (bitches this is poison. Stop this), and there’s something about the hate that stinks of poor reading comprehension.

A great metric for general literacy is the newspaper. In journalism, you’re writing for the lowest-common denominator, which for years here in the USA has been about a fifth-grade reading level (about 10-11 years old, for my non-American readers). The AP posted an article a couple years back about how the general reading comprehension of Americans needs to be dropped to a third-grade one (8-9 years), and baby, I’m here to say it’s true.

Most of the problem is that the American education system is shitty as fuck. The rest of it is from an extremely American disdain of intellectualism and the arts. People are not taught how to interpret art or literature—a difficult and subtle skill which involves accepting such truths as “multiple contradictory readings can exist and yet be simultaneously correct”, “the author can be a complete tool and still be right about things”, “the author can be a great person and still write horrifyingly incorrect bullshit”, and “worthwhile works can be ridiculously long and it really is your fault for not having an attention span”.

Media criticism must be learned through trial, error, asking questions, confidently swaggering into a public space to announce your brilliant insight only to have your ass handed to you (usually by your older self ten years later), being willing to admit you swaggered confidently into a public space to state bullshit and then amending your bullshit only to produce more bullshit, and otherwise making a complete and utter cock of yourself. We are taught to fear and flee pain and failure, despite the fact this is how we learn and improve. Because we judge our value by whether or not we are “smart,” we are afraid of displaying that we don’t know something or might be mistaken–better not to try at all than to reveal ourselves to be fools. And yet the best way to learn is to crash up against someone else and be proven wrong!

American parents are terrified of hurting their children to the point that they spare them cognitive dissonance of any kind, disavowing difficult art—without any appreciation for the fact that art is how we provide safe spaces to explore key human experiences, better preparing us to face those difficult subjects when there are real-world consequences (sex, gender and social expression, grief, violence, predation, illness, interacting with people of different ideologies, whatever new issue is pissing off some smooth-brained old motherfucker somewhere).

If parents and teachers aren’t teaching us how to interpret art, we’re probably never going to develop the skill at all, or crash unsubtly into it in a piecemeal fashion (hello it me). Another unfortunate side effect is that these readers tend to be blitheringly superficial: they are literally intellectually incapable of reading deeper than the uppermost layer of a text. The curtains are always blue.

And let’s not forget the role moral performatism plays in media criticism, which although faaar from new, has reached hilarious levels in the age of social media. What’s important isn’t understanding something, it’s finding something to symbolically burn at the stake so everyone knows God loves us: please keep loving me, please don’t hurt me, please don’t throw me on the fire—for performatism is not for outsiders. We long for human connection so fucking much that it’s more important to destroy what might point out our fallibilities than it is to let ourselves stand in the furnace and burn out the dross.

What do you think the point of BioShock Infinite was?

Emotional Machines

Let’s face it. Human beings give a lot more credence to how something makes them feel than they do its complex invisible reality. We are not logical creatures; we are emotional ones. Our logic is too new a biological mechanism to override something as powerfully stupid as our primal lizard brains.

Knowing this, let’s take BioShock’s most popular characters. The first two are Subject Delta and Jack Wynand, the protagonists of BioShocks 2 and 1, respectively; and why not? They’re the characters we play. In the first two BioShocks, whether or not you kill Little Sisters determines the ending you receive. In other words, Delta and Jack can only be as “wicked” as the players are.

How do people want to see themselves? As good. What do people want to see around themselves? Good. (What is “good”? Uh, well,,,,,,) What do they want? Simple moral questions with simple moral answers. And in the first two BioShocks, what is moral is obvious: don’t kill little girls. It’s actually kind of insulting once you say it out loud.

In-fandom, Jack and Subject Delta are almost never painted as murderers or monsters, but as victims and heroes; I saw someone musing about putting Subject Delta on a “gentle giants” poll and I nearly choked on my own tongue. I only saw that musing because someone put Subject Delta and Jack in a “Best Fathers” poll. Nobody in-fandom really considers the “evil” or “complicated” endings as canon choices, despite those versions being fully understandable alternate readings, with a story that doesn’t make sense without them. (I don’t believe Burial at Sea is necessarily canon; in fact, I would bet good money that it is a huge middle finger lol, mostly because a number of brain-dead motherfuckers won’t take unhappiness for an answer.)

Most fandom art and writing is gentle, sweet, good: the symbolic healing of the damaged, the salvation of innocents, the turning of new leaves. These things are not just saccharine sweet—they tend to be unrealistically sweet. Now, far be it from me to demand these works cease. There’s a reason they exist. People write them because they need hope and happiness; I have enjoyed them greatly myself and intend to enjoy them in the future. But if y’all get to have your dessert, I demand the right to have my dinner.

The Colours Out of Earth

Let there be media where the opposite can also be true: where everything is unbelievably complicated and unforgivably fucked-up. Let there be characters who slide slurs into their speech without thinking. Let there be characters who destroy themselves in a thousand different ways, not all of them obvious, some of them horrifying. Let there be well-meaning people struggling with all their mights to do what is right only to destroy everyone around them and then completely miss the fact it’s all their faults. Let there be wickedness painted as goodness, superficial appearances accepted over essential and inherent values, denial of change and transformation, failure to accept that what is old must die and what is new must live, human stupidity and short-sightedness and cruelty in all their flavors. Let’s smash it all together and see how it plays out.

Oh, badly? No shit! But “badly” isn’t the point. How does it play out?

Let there be a world of gradients—a place I can float from color to color, hue to hue, value to value, while attempting to figure out where, why, how, and by whom they transform—to taste concepts in a hundred different ways, test their textures by a hundred different mediums, insert them into a hundred different contexts. I need to understand why I feel the way I do; I need to understand morality in all its hideous, fragmentary glory. For I have been sold to a ideology of blacks and whites, and let me tell you: it prepares you for nothing, and it will always destroy what is most precious about human life.

I can no longer believe in a world where what is lost always returns, because that world does not exist. I have a reflexive need to come to terms with Finality: what I have lost, what I have destroyed, what will never return, what will never be better. I have a reflexive need to understand Transformation: what I am now, what is as of the present, what has risen shambling from the ashes, what turns to gaze upon me in the darkness. I need to understand what is wretched about me as much as I need to heal myself. How can I heal if I can’t understand how I have hurt and been hurt?

I need to shine a light in the dark. Not to remodel it, not to destroy it—because I also can’t believe in a world where the wicked is destroyed forever—but to behold it, to learn from it, to view my own impact upon it, to accept how it has become a part of me, to learn how to do my best (because that’s all one can do). I must learn to love people more than causes, I must learn to love people rather than the act of winning, I must learn to love people rather than battle. I need to stand in that endless black with the lamp off and my eyes closed, letting the agony roll over me, burning with a fire that throws no light, rolling back and forth from an intense self-loathing to a fury at a society that destroys what is most valuable because it didn’t make them feel the way they wanted.

The Unforgivable

I believe that there are only two differences between Booker DeWitt and his equally cursed cohorts.

In the Hall of Whores: The Unmarked Slate

First, unlike the previous two games, where you enter the world as a tabula rasa and might roleplay as what you perceive as a good person, you are explicitly put into the shoes of a monster, and nothing you do can save you.

With other shitty BioShock characters, you are passively watching other people, and you are able to hold yourself apart. Sure, everyone else is crazy as fuck from using biological Kryptonite, but you’re too smart to end up a crazy fucking asshole like them! Sure, you are now technically a mass murderer, but those fuckers deserved it, damn it!

“Look at this crazy bastard!” you say, rolling your eyes at the Steinmans and Cohens and Ryans and Fontaines. “It sure is a great thing I’m not a crazy bastard!”

You are able to escape acknowledging that you, too, in certain circumstances, might be the crazy bastard. You are being challenged to stand in the body of a person who has committed unforgivable sins. Imagine if you yourself committed those sins. Imagine what sins you have already committed. Imagine what brutalities you cannot take back. Imagine what horrors you have wreaked just by breathing.

“Ahhhh!” said players, probably. “What do you mean I’m not allowed to be good?”

Because that’s what the game was designed to do. Because “good” is a fucking cop-out and if it’s how you live with yourself wait until you find out you’ve been doing horrifying bullshit all your life without question. You can be evil by association through no fault of your own.

Original Sin

Second, the plight of Native Americans is a sin that non-Natives will always carry, and the socially conscious are aware of this even if they don’t know how to put it into words. The state of affairs being what it is, it is unlikely that First Peoples will ever be treated humanely, much less have their land returned. They must struggle for scraps of what is rightfully theirs while we lounge on their corpses. We cannot help but benefit from their destruction; we are made unwitting partners with our forebears; we steal the fruits of their lands and make mockeries of their faiths and identities. We have destroyed part of what made this world fascinating and unique and most of it can never be returned. Even if everything were to be made right tomorrow, their genocide is a sin that we will carry until we die, because the only reason we could be here at all is because they were killed.

The obvious solution stands before us, but the powers that be are so much greater than we that we are effectively powerless, and achieving anything less than total restoration smacks of anticlimax.

This is unbearable.

How can one think of oneself as a good person if one sees the good that must be done, but cannot achieve it? If one’s actions are meaningless? Goodness without action is pretension.

We are all Booker DeWitt. We have all set fire to the tipi. We swept the ashes away, we ignored the sizes of the bones, we built a CVS on their graves, and then we made statues and holidays commemorating Native Americans like the world’s cheapest “Thinking of You” card. We have de-fanged them, transformed them into cardboard cutouts, and set them up as cute little side characters in our sweeping American dream.

Booker is not a man. Booker is America and Americans—and America and Americans are monstrous: one part hypocrisy, two parts incessant violence, three parts constant peacocking, and four parts dumb as a stump.

The Monsters We Make

Outside of the message about “choice,” an enormous part of BioShock’s thematic ensemble is the creation of monsters. How are monsters created? Who or what is responsible for creating them? What do the monsters think made them the ways they are? Can a monster be saved? How? Is it enough to acknowledge you did wrong and want to be a better person?

Maybe most people are aware on some instinctive level of what facing one’s own monsterhood means. No one wants it. It’s not fun. It hurts. It’s embarrassing. It’s destructive. It’s admitting you don’t have it all together and might never, ever—that despite your best actions, you can have it horribly wrong at any point. In an age where we demand moral perfection, it demands vulnerability: you must admit that sometimes you’re the racist, the transphobe, the sexist, the nationalist, the classist, the homophobe, the violent, the wrong, the dumbfuck.

Human beings are not built to be moral; human beings are built to survive. We so rapidly learn how to deal with our contexts at such young ages that we don’t have the time or capabilities to question why those contexts are the ways they are or why it is demanded we perform the ways we do.

In a very real way, BioShock Infinite demands vulnerability of us. It demands you look in the mirror and see what is monstrous in you—how you have been created—manufactured—a tool, a machine, a trained animal. It asks you to recognize that you can be a monster simply by association. And if we can’t look into the mirror and truly acknowledge that monsterhood, we run very real risks of becoming or enabling those monsters in one way or another.

Worst of all: perhaps monsterhood isn’t optional. Perhaps the monster was inside of us from the very beginning. It’s not a matter of if you become a monster, but when, under what circumstances, by whose hand. What is more, believing the “right” moral stances will not save you. Monsterhood can afflict anyone, in any ideology, any political stance, in any social movement, in any faith. The only element that can save you is to truly love other people, and even then, you can fail, for there can be states where there is no winner and ways to misread how best to treat another person.

Environment and Society: Context Will Not Be Denied

BioShock 1’s original ending is Jack-as-monster, regardless of how many children he saves, regardless of your feelings as player. He passes through the gauntlet of Rapture, but he has supped of its poison. And he wasn’t poisoned when he entered Rapture the second time—he was poisoned the minute he was conceived. He was born of it. He had no hope of ever escaping it—he never could have—he’d never had a choice to begin with.

No matter what choices you make in BioShock Infinite, Elizabeth will always kill you. Why? Because she has seen every world—every context—every limitation—every boon. And there is no way to stop what has been; there is no way to undo what has been done. The minute you have committed to a decision, you have split the universe; there is no telling what kind of person it will make you. In fact, there’s no telling which of your decisions will matter at all. Only Elizabeth can see because she is the unlimited future: your offspring stands before you, judge and jury, and you will have no choice but to accept her verdict, for despite your name, you are incapable of controlling how you are interpreted.

Elizabeth sits across from you in the boat and stares without blinking. She sees a million million similar Bookers. Some are a little bit taller, some a little bit shorter, some a little heavier or lighter. Some more-resemble one grandparent or another. They have different colored ties. This one blinks when rain hits him in the eyeball. That one took a brutal beating back on the airship and one eye is swollen shut. That one can’t stop shaking; this one is unable to speak at all; one hasn’t yet lost hope, although even he doesn’t realize it.

They all lowered the torch to the tipi.

The baptism determined Comstock; what determined Booker?

Why Booker Is

In BioShock 1, characters are often stand-ins for larger concepts. Thus Ryan stands in as Ayn Rand’s Objectivist Ubermensch; Bill McDonagh as Andrew Ryan’s conscience; Diane McClintock as the citizenry of Rapture; Captain Sullivan as law and order; Frank Fontaine as the truest expression of Objectivism in its distilled form.

Who is Booker? Most importantly: why is he?

Booker is a fictional character with a brutal background based on historical events, alternative and true. Booker might be Lakota; Booker might have undergone forced Anglicization; Booker might have been ripped from his parents; Booker is a product of violence, perhaps literally. Booker is American exceptionalism distilled. Booker is the past in constant judgment of itself, unable to live with itself and unable to die. Booker destroys what is best in him and around him in exchange for belonging. Booker has sold the future to absolve his sins. Booker has sold his daughter because he is a fictional character in a work of fiction who needs to be propelled.

Booker is a shell, a sluice, an environment. Booker is the broken shape you are meant to fill, horrified. His internal shape should torture you as it has tortured him: the messy slaggy soul of a shitty tin soldier.

Does Booker take the baptism and become Comstock? If so, it might be his second one. His last name literally means “the white.” His first name can mean “author.” It is most likely his second name: an attempt to rewrite himself. And when he was unable to rewrite himself the first time, when the cognitive dissonance boiled at the edges of his skull, he found there was only one way to cleanse himself the second: to remake the world entirely. To force transformation on everyone else. To take vengeance on a world that could never love him, never want him—to create a world that has no choice but to love him. If he can’t change the world’s mind, he’ll change the world.

Note what he opts to do: to take the fight to the environment–to the unyielding universe.

Context Is Everything

It is no mistake that BioShock Infinite occurs in 1912: the sinking of the Titanic is often credited with ending an unfettered optimism, a period when the Western world believed technology had brought the human race into a golden age. With World War I—which would follow a mere two years later—came modern warfare and all the horrors thereof, not the least of which was the realization that humans had created a kind of war that could destroy the entire world. World War I also seeded the rise of the United States: much of the wealth of warring Europe—itself fat on the blood of subjugated peoples and stolen lands—would rattle into America’s coffers.

It is also no mistake that BioShock 1 directly follows World War II. With WWII came a heightened terror—that this war is not the last war, that there will never be an end to war, that war will go on expanding and expanding until it has consumed us all. World War III would not be denied: prettily packaged in the ideals of its children, it simply followed the utopians down to their underwater tombs. According to BioShock 1’s original ending, World War III is not a matter of if—it’s a matter of when.

But even more important than the history in the BioShock games are their settings. Mute leviathans, Rapture and Columbia determine all of your behaviors: from where you can exist in space to all of your desires and goals to how you choose to present yourself to how you opt to behave. Isolated in extremism—whether that extremism is the crushing depths of the ocean or the unbearable lightness of the air—most of their power is that they simply cannot be escaped. You can’t outrun them. They are everywhere. They are everything.

Like Lovecraft before it, BioShock acknowledges the greatest horror of all: you cannot escape your context. Your context does not only involve your immediate surroundings. It is also historical; contains zeitgeists from various cultures and subcultures; is filled with pressures both personal and impersonal, human and nonhuman. Many of these forces can hurt you. Many more can destroy you. What you do to survive depends very much on where, when, and with whom you must live.

Human beings are not built to be moral.

The Death of the Future

In the film Operation, Burma!, a soldier asks Errol Flynn: “Who were you before the war?”

“An architect,” says Flynn.

Who were you? Because that “you” doesn’t matter now. That “you” is irrelevant. So you’re an architect. What the war does to you; what these deaths mean to you; your past, your education, your loves and desires and forward motivation, the you that could have been outside war, the you that slogs alone into the brutal future—all completely irrelevant. Your forebears don’t care so long as you can bleed.

Children are the manufactured tools of their creators—helpless before the enormous strength of their elders and the zeitgeists that enclose them, poisoned by their parents’ insecurities and flaws, utilized like weapons regardless of the cost—often with great love.

Consider something more than the traumatized culture: consider the society filled with traumatized children; consider the traumatized society. Consider channeling children through that trauma over and over and over again, if you can. Poisoned—poisoned—poisoned—all of us poisoned. Poisoned by those who loved us most. Poisoned by the people we trusted. Poisoned by the people who meant to make a better world.

I believe it is notable that creative director Ken Levine is Jewish; I have read from multiple accounts that the European Jewish diaspora was uniquely traumatized from the Holocaust and passed that trauma down upon their own families. I sometimes wonder if he saw that firsthand.

The fathers eat sour grapes; their children’s teeth are set on edge.

Choice: Player Expectations and Entitlement

For players who experienced BioShocks 1 and 2 with their multiple endings (Good, Bad, and “ok bye then I guess” respectively), it must have been jarring to suddenly reckon with being a monster. How often I see players grousing that nothing they do will change their wicked pasts! These players completely miss that the only meaningful choice had already been made, that it had nothing to do with the player at all, and even if they had been there, DeWitt was still unforgivable. The only way to go on was to bow out and allow the future to redefine herself.

Nobody was ready for that shit.

Like it or not, BioShock 1 had set a precedent. Not everyone’s going to read up on creator intentions. If any keyword came blaring through the noise, it would have been “choice.” Most players only recognize choice by the ability to make it, not the absence of it, and most of them weren’t equipped to recognize that its lack was the point. The meaningless choices were commentary, and they were as much about the player as they were about DeWitt himself. Not every choice will be meaningful, will it? And there will be choices you make that will be momentous, but they will seem very small when you make them.

Because most players had experienced what they thought was a basic moralistic tale in the first two games, and would see Infinite not as reflection upon America’s destructive personality, its obsession with a meaningless Good/Bad duocracy, and the infinite, cyclical nature of violence, they saw Booker’s death as corrupted artsy claptrap.

“I did the good schuut,” they say. “I want the good schuut end. Where happy end??? Where treat :(”

Bitch the future is here.

Time to die.

It’s Not Me, It’s You

Generally I despise essays that end with, “But the real fault lay with the clueless motherfuckers who played the game!” Often, if enough people complain, there’s something to it; the message has been obscured somehow. Details or explanations weren’t clear or intuitive enough, some mechanism isn’t working somewhere, some character needs to talk more or less, some setting needs to be transformed. O artist: stop whining and get cracking. If everywhere you go smells like shit, it’s time to look under your shoe.

But sometimes it’s true that a piece of media is on a level folks aren’t equipped for. Think of every literature and art class you’ve ever had, if you’ve been fortunate enough to have one. There’s always someone scoffing in a back row, like here are all these jokers making more of something than they should. Similarly, some of you have been arguing with me this entire time, saying: “I just wanted a video game. I just wanted to shoot something and feel better and instead I get this bullshit ending that makes no sense.”

First of all, smart bullshit (and even fucked-up attempts at smart bullshit! Hi BioShock 2) gets to exist on this Earth along with Gmod and Roblox or Schuut Big Tits 84 (there are 84 tits and you must shoot them all. They explode into smaller tits) or whatever-the-fuck-else you think is a worthwhile gaming experience. Second of all, miserable bullshit also gets to exist, and what did you fucking expect if you played through either BioShocks 1 or 2? When you hear a football player quavering out in the darkness for his mom to pick him up, how’d that make you feel? What did you think was going to happen to Jack after pounding back the entire Plasmid library, the cancer cocktail that explicitly destroys the fuck out of its users? Third of all, if you missed the smart bullshit going on in BioShock 1 and didn’t think BioShock Infinite might be larger in scope in more ways than one, that’s on you. Fourthly, if you were simply satisfied with saving like, 15 kids from a violently-perishing city of thousands and call it good, I mean… is that really where your thoughts end? Are you really that fucking small?

It’s Not You, It’s Me

You ever meet those motherfuckers who talk shit about Shakespeare or modern art? And you’re just left there staring with dead eyes at this poseur who mistakes playing devil’s advocate for intelligence, cheek resting on your fist, thinking about the fanfic you’re writing, wondering who it’s for, remembering that all your smut-writing friends get ten times the viewers, and considering throwing yourself in front of a bus.

Yeah, there’s a personal element to this: the fact that BioShock Infinite is the kind of art I like and long for and want to make myself, the fact that the game was successful and yet the studio was closed, the way its DLC was so rushed that the story plopped out like half-baked mystery meat—realizing that the same forced rush was at 2K’s behest for BioShock 2, as well, and wondering how good art can ever be made in this unforgiving capitalist hellscape. The game was weirdly niche and I’m not 100% sure I’ll ever experience anything quite like it again. And with the whiners in this fandom, the loud ones controlling the narrative, some fresh brain-dead exec in some brain-dead publisher might be like: “We must keep it safer and simpler for these fuckin babby adult!”

Nah bitch nah. Naaaah. Cry some more while I enjoy me my fucking dinner. I’ll eat it while making loud smacking noises and keeping unbroken eye contact. Come here. Let’s look at each other. It’ll be like Lady and the Tramp but we want to punch each other. What truer form of love can there be here in the modern world?

I keep having to remind myself that this response isn’t new. I keep having to remind myself of my place. I keep having to remind myself why I write, why I read, why I like to experience art to begin with. It’s not for the reasons other people do it. Oh, I want the same emotional release as everyone else, I want the same rollicking plots, I adore the same tropes. I seek out everything and anything for a good time; I’ll read Moby Dick today and a smutty 5,000-word abortion with the world’s most suspect grammar tomorrow. I don’t give a shit if it’s low- or high-brow; there are all kinds of ways to have fun and there are all kinds of ways to engage with art, and lord knows I’ve done my share of smooth-brain criticism. The problem is that I’ve always wandered off by myself, sunk into an all-consuming reverie, on tracks that no one else ever seems to be on, and then looked up to talk excitedly about something only to realize I’m alone. And whose fault is that?

By the same token, maybe I haven’t talked enough. Maybe I spend too much time with my mouth shut. Maybe I haven’t stood up enough for things that are worth our time, worth talking up, worth setting on pedestals.

I tell you, BioShock Infinite will stand the test of time. It’s too good for this. It’s too good for you, warts and all. Some of you will grow to understand that; some of you won’t; many of you will shrug and go on with your lives (and this is fine; it is only a video game). But I’ve truly not seen anything like it. I can’t believe a mainstream video game was allowed to be so fucking brutal about the American juggernaut, and what’s more, that it sold like hotcakes. Plus, I can’t think of any works in recent memory that have struck me so close to my own heart. No creative work has made me start beating a monster’s face into a washbasin for ten hours only to lift her by the scalp and see my own eyes looking back.

Look into those eyes. See your own stupid impulses pouring out. Your own stupid excuses, your violences, your sins—your claws, your teeth, your costumes, your hilarious attempts at interpretive dance. The beast doth protest too much.

O, monster—behold thyself—and tremble.

#bioshock #bioshock 2 #bioshock infinite #bioshock infinite burial at sea #booker dewitt #subject delta #jack wynand #augustus sinclair #essays #video games #spoilers #vvatchword #vvbsreceipts

467 notes · View notes

tomatoart · 9 months ago

Note

i love you so much i have the biggest crush on you and ur art (i just discovered your blog 5 minutes ago)

I have a question thoo :33 How do you put such good quality images on tumblr? Love u man! 💓

Thank you :3 and I have an answer ! Sort of.. lol OKAY saur like my canvases are usually 9 x 10 inches which is like 2600 x 2800 px or around that:

and that uploads here very well for me! But it still compresses it just a bit, I think the most valuable info I have on image quality for posting anywhere rlly (bc all social media hates high quality pics) is that the way you use frequencies of color that when the image does get slightly compressed it doesn’t have this weird divid and crunch between the different colors, like how bright red and bright blue get this awful center line between them bc their colors are so close in range. I use the b&w filter while drawing to try and avoid this so that most colors look all their own shade :] sorry if that wasn’t super helpful I rlly do just post from my photos to tumblr without thinking HELP

#not tomaart #asks #love u too 🫶!

104 notes · View notes

daisys-reality · 2 years ago

Text

𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆

What kind of person is your DR significant other?

General disclaimer: super long reading ahead. This pac reading is meant for my reality shifters who have a special someone in their desired reality. This reading is timeless in a way but you can adjust it as you see fit. I hope you guys enjoy this. <3 All of them were cuties, you guys have good taste. 💫

If you like to read more pac readings from me, feel free to check out my masterlist ! If you want to share your experiences and/or give me feedback and/or share pac ideas, I would be very happy if you send me an ask over tumblr !!! (Also, fyi I don't own any of these beautiful pics, I just edited them!)

pile one

Hello pile one! Your s/o is definitely a strong person - not necessarily physically (could be) but I’m feeling more so that they have a strong core - mental and emotional strength. Self-confident and proud of their abilities and even physical shape, ready to perform feats any time. With their unwavering focus they have their eyes on their goal, to be on top. They can be very patient if they want to be but they must win by all means, they hate losing. Their energy is regal, they naturally demand respect. Their strife and energy is inspiring for some, for others it’s a bit intimidating. They can be quite calculating and like to think things through, but sometimes their impulses win them over. They surely don’t like dancing to someone else's tune, it’s just not for them lol. Even though they have great leadership qualities, they are more on the introverted spectrum - but definitely by no means shy. They don’t have a lot of close/intimate connection, not many know their inner core. Though they always strive to become better in every sense, personal (and I would even say spiritual) growth is important for them, they even dedicate their whole life to that because they want to ‘master’ themself. Some might mistake them as hard to access or aloof but those with a keener eye know better. They are very observant, stealth and precise in their words and actions. They just do not like wasting energy or resources. Their presence is strong but peacefully calm (if not provoked lol). Reliable and grounded. They might at times tend to get too serious or withdraw too much (for example in stressful times).

They are not the type to do anything merely for the sake of a whim or pleasure; they live to "satisfy their hunger," without hurting anyone for the sake of ordinary self-satisfaction. I feel like there is a great need to be surrounded by luxury and wealth - even better if they have lots of power. Ok this could seem greedy to some but they are also perfectly capable of enjoying the here and now and all the things that surround them while simultaneously striving for an even better future. Could be that where they are now is very different to where their life started. They are the type that is always solving some problems because they can identify them maybe more quickly than others. Justice and fairness are also values they live by, they actually have nice intentions and want everyone to get along … omg i think they were actually a softie as a kid but life teached them the hard way :( . They truly just desire stability and balance, and they will fight as long as they can make these desires come true. They have high (and precious) ideals but sadly in the real world ideals rarely exist in pristine form and justice is elusive - forcing them (and everyone else) to have to make some decisions and to adjust once ideals and values. They have learned their lessons the hard way - or will their whole life. Hardworking, and also very prideful. I think they do care quite a bit about traditions and their reputation. I also feel like they can be pretty straightforward, blunt even. They mean what they say and say what they mean. They prioritize truth above all. They are usually active and assertive. No nonsense person - even when it comes to appearance. They prefer practicality and are more so unpretentious in their style. I think they love being physically active in all kinds of ways (iykwim lmao) - depending on what world their living in - I can also see them even enjoying fighting or battling other people (until all their energy is burn off/until their reach their limit and then training more and more).

Even emotionally they are honest. They have integrity and they don’t play mind games and are unafraid to admit that they’re wrong. Mature but not afraid to express themselves. Love matters and such are usually not on the front of their mind. Their surroundings might be quite demanding (many responsibilities, people who rely on them etc). If you are in a connection/relationship/friendship with them, they would always let you know where you stand with them/ where you’re heading with them. The type of person who will be clear about what they are looking for. With this person, it’s suggested that you take everything they say at face value. The truth may sometimes hurt, but at least they are telling the truth. *

Physically, they mastered the art of looking effortless. Funnily enough they could have the certain “je ne sais quoi” vibe about them that many envy. Something that would normally look disheveled on another person looks sexy on them - that kinda thing. They don’t follow trends. They are very laid back and chill, with a slight youthful energy. They also give me the vibe of ‘They eat what they want when they want it, and they work out when they feel like it.’ I guess it has to do with their belief that life is short to base it around what others think is right and what not etc.

They are the type of person that is kinda apathetic about their general surroundings. Mhm maybe it’s just the fact that they are struggling with their own life and are too distracted by their own issues to worry about others. Emotionally they could also be a bit careless. They can come off as ungrateful and lacking in self-awareness. This person regardless of your DR setting I think is not as much concerned with larger social justice issues. This person may be very short-sighted in that sense. They refuse to get involved with situations unless they can directly benefit from it. If it doesn’t affect them, it is not of their concern lmao. Ok, this seems a bit harsh but I feel like this kind of selfish attitude is working like a shell for them. I said before that they maybe were very ‘soft and pure’ as a child and it could be that they were also quite sensitive, okay? And you know I suppose that life treated them too harshly which in turn made them cold and even apathetic. You know those villains in movies that were actually very kind as a child but abuse and what not made them get astray from their path. I’m not saying that your s/o is a villain or villainous but they just learned that caring too much about others or being too naive is not worth it in the end and will only hurt you. And I feel like they sometimes present themselves colder and harsher than they actually are to protect themselves. To be honest, I usually analyze the things I pick up and filter them accordingly but the first messages I be getting from them are all like ‘I’m indifferent. I don’t care about other people, I’m very cold towards others. I’m arrogant yada yada…’ which kinda seems like a self mantra or like affirmation you tell yourself where I am like why tf you being like this ?? lmao…So, yeah…again, it takes some time and lot’s of patience to feel comfortable enough to share parts of themselves. It could be that at some point in their life they hated themselves for their softer side. They wanted to become stronger and colder. They hated being on the receiving end of this harsh reality, they wanted to be on top, maybe they also wanted revenge of some sort. I think they kinda like showing their rough edges or intimidating others. Because you know, if people are intimidated by you they usually do not dare to disrespect you, right? It could also have to do with their pride and with them hating revealing any weakness of theirs.

Also, whatever they are working on in their life, their work life makes up a large portion of their identity. They take a lot of pride in the amount of work they put into their achievements. This might also not be very apparent to others but I feel like they often reach their limit, working for too long, too hard and just ending up really tired and burned out. I feel like they rarely engage in anything self-care related. However, I see that if there is something important to them, then they are 100% willing to put in the work. Not only are they hard-working in a professional sense, they’re willing to work on their relationships, spirituality, and self-improvement. They make an effort with their looks, and they work out. Their workaholism may negatively impact their health. And their ‘career’ ambitions usually motivate them to always appear presentable — just in case they run into anybody important. They could also be meticulous with their diet and health routines.

Emotionally, they work on their emotions and thoughts systematically. This person may enjoy journaling or chronicling their experiences. At some point in their life they will learn how to process their feelings in a constructive way. They generally understand that anything worthwhile takes work and time to build up, whether it’s a relationship or a business. If you’re romantically involved with this person, they could be the type who would be willing to go to couples therapy to work on your relationship issues. It does seem like they believe in fixing what they already have rather than giving up. They are the type to make you feel like you’re with somebody who makes an effort. Whether you’re linked to this person romantically, platonically, or professionally, there’s a sense that they give as much into the relationship as you do. They don’t make you do all the work. This person is also persistent in everything they do. Always working on their self-improvement, they also have the humility to learn something new at every stage of life. To be honest, if you take the time to get to know them, you will see that they’re truly a sincere and earnest person.

(*Actually, I had finished this reading at this point already and started doing the other two piles but they turned longer than pile one and I felt the need to continue this pile at another time. I don’t know if this information is useful for you. But I feel your s/o just really takes a lot of time to open up, they have a lot of different layers to them and a hard shell. Their true inner self is a lot more different than how they seem to be outwardly. Just so you know, with this person you really gotta be patient if you want to build something whether it’s true friendship or a romantic relationship.)

(** I also wanted to let you know that I mentioned your s/o a little bit in pile two, I will just copy-paste here, so that you don’t have to read the whole 2nd pile: “Like pile one they can be very very patient! At first I got the feeling that the energy of pile two seems a little similar to pile one (only slightly) but while pile one seems more like the male lead of some isekai manhwa (like the typically black haired red eyes archduke lmao) that other people label as the villain - logical, unpredictable (kinda wild), powerful, intimidating and confident but a little withdrawn; pile two seems more like the second male lead - appearing smart and polite with a charming personality but then you find out they are actually controlling the whole empire behind the scenes and know everything that is going on lmao (obviously this comparison with ‘male leads’ has nothing to do with their gender - I just read too many isekai manhwas).)

(*** Also, I don’t why but the whole time during the reading I thought about Madara Uchiha from Naruto [I am a naruto stan btw so no shame✋] Even though he was one of the main villains, he was a softie as a child. He lived in cruel (war) times, lost all his family members (esp. his precious little brother at the end) and the ‘betrayal’ of his clan and the mistreatment from his one and only friend and true love just made him lose his mind… :( Anyways, I can understand if you shift for him sfjdk)

-> Possible energies in their chart : They definitely have strong air energy in some form in their chart mixed with a little earth and fire. Specifically, they could have/be one of the following signs: Libra, Capricorn, Virgo, Leo, Sagittarius (maybe even Scorpio/Cancer).

-> Timeless messages for you from them :

I hope the future will bring us together.

They took their time with this one lmao - I thought I wouldn’t get a message from them at first because they were hesitating to share something - but after this reading we all know they truly mean it from the bottom of their heart hehe

Once I continued this reading I tried to get a few more messages for you:

I don’t know what you see in me…

You shouldn’t wait for me. Prioritize your happiness.

It could lead to problems...

Other things/people were interfering and trying to control me and this connection.

I’m working on myself…I want a fresh start.

Not seeing you is hurting me so much…

The last message dayumm… Another advice I got from you which I think is more so regarding your shifting journey is that you’re asked to be patient because the passing of time will naturally solve your problems. In some situations only endurance helps. In the meantime, try to relax and focus on your happiness. Do something kind for yourself that warms your heart and treasure those seconds when you feel your heart beating. Also don’t reveal or show your personal treasures and things that are important to you to just anyone - not everyone is capable of understanding its preciousness. Just know and rest assured that everything will solve itself with time.

Thank you for reading, I would be very happy for some feedback. <3 Wishing you good luck on your journey, pile one!!

pile two

Hello pile two! Your s/o has a very calm energy. You might lose your sense of time while looking into their eyes lol. Something about their eyes or their gaze is special, mesmerizing even. They are very good at observing and analyzing; paying attention to details. There might be a tendency to overthink or over-analyze or just to take it to extremes at times - falling into traps of pettiness or obsession or being overly critical. This obviously not always the case but there MIGHT be a tendency. But all this observing is not for nothing, I see that they are very skilled and talented in what they do. The type to learn from other people’s mistakes while observing and acting behind the scenes. Like pile one they can be very very patient! Like pile one they can be very very patient! At first I got the feeling that the energy of pile two seems a little similar to pile one (only slightly) but while pile one seems more like the male lead of some isekai manhwa (like the typically black haired red eyes archduke lmao) that other people label as the villain - logical, unpredictable (kinda wild), powerful, intimidating and confident but a little withdrawn; pile two seems more like the second male lead - appearing smart and polite with a charming personality but then you find out they are actually controlling the whole empire behind the scenes and know everything that is going on lmao (obviously this comparison with ‘male leads’ has nothing to do with their gender - I just read too many isekai manhwas).

They’re someone that people might underestimate at first or think that they are harmless - maybe that’s exactly how they want to appear mhm… I do get the feeling that they are very good at seducing and charming people into doing what they want (they probably seduce you with their eyes and a little smile sdkslja). I just heard ‘they eye of the storm’, boii ok they can be really really calm even when everything around them is in chaos (- maybe that’s their doing?? lmao), they can shut out any distraction in order to analyze what is truly going on. And they can be very tenacious and persistent while actualizing their plans. I already mentioned that they are very skilled in some way but they also have an artistic side to them. I am not sure what exactly it is - it might be different for each of your s/o’s - some might be creative with fashion, self expression, acting, with music or instruments or other creative tools while for example planning how to reach their goals. Or maybe even with plants and nature if we look at this pile’s picture! Either way, they have an eye for aesthetics as well.

There is definitely something working behind the scenes, in hiding, under different names or with wearing masks (literally or metaphorical) - I think they learned in life that doing so usually works in their favor but it also at times limits their creativity and I feel like it created some (still unresolved) issues regarding self image and success. Maybe they’re suffering from imposter syndrome; always questioning who they really are ‘Am I who my audience thinks I am? What if I want to grow into something more/different?’ - is this creative ego fear? idk but in this aspect they seem like a ‘suffering artist’ - i think this shows itself more strongly in stressful times; then, they might also become more competitive. Not only are they good at creating new things and actualizing them, it also helps them to balance and calm themselves down in those times.

Their energy is very focused and sovereign. They also have natural leadership qualities but it manifests differently than in pile one’s s/o; it is more indirect and less straightforward and less pushy because pile two understands other people and their feelings and motivation better and they can use this to lead the people in the direction they want. I think they have always easily drawn other people’s attention but they might have been more shy in their childhood and only learned over time to just accept the spotlight - and to use it efficiently. As a child they might have been the type to ‘let life happen to them’, living their life very passively - maybe they had people around them that were very dominant/authoritative/manipulative/moody and your s/o just learned to observe and analyze, to adjust themselves and to be obedient. Maybe they weren’t even interested in taking on responsibilities or even to take control of their own life - I have a feeling that they were pushed into a position early on in their life that they really didn’t like. Only over time they gathered their courage, gained their confidence and took on their rightful place. On a side note, their older self might have a tendency to become slightly arrogant - they should avoid this.

They are an investor type of person, patient, methodical and systematic, not afraid to move slowly. They understand the importance of nurturing and cultivating the people and things they care about. A balance between masculine and feminine, active and passive, assertive and receptive. Taking their time when it comes to their body, health and their physical appearance. For them it’s a good investment to treat their physical body well. Persistent and disciplined, but also patient with themselves. They would never push themselves too hard at training or dieting or whatever. They prefer wearing clothes of high quality (talking about good investments again lol) rather than following some fashion trends. Not only are they good at patiently saving up for quality items they also tend to keep their investment pieces for a very long time. Timeless and practical in style.

Even emotionally they are patient and persistent. Not the type to rush anything. Keen observer who likes gathering information before making decisions. As a friend they are very generous and selfless - maybe even the type of person who likes to provide and help all of their friends (they don’t expect really anything in return but pls show at least your appreciation - they will maybe turn a blind eye to it a few times but if the disrespect keeps on repeating itself (you exploiting them and being rude) I can assure you it won’t end well for you lmao - don’t force them to be mean to you!). In romantic involvements with this person, don’t expect this person to commit quickly - even with people and relationships they take their time to analyze, observe and nurture. Slow burn. They are actually quite good at nurturing others (like they are good at self care) and they can be very passionate. Always thinking long term. A visionary at times. They are the type of person who makes you feel like it’s ok to slow down and take your time. They are not quitters but they know how to rest and when to let go of what they can’t control.

I think the picture really fits them well (regardless of gender); them in a white simple but pretty dress tending towards their plants with care while standing in this calm and pretty environment which they alone created - like in a safe peaceful bubble. A creator and nurturer.

-> Possible energies in their chart : They definitely have strong earth energy in some form in their chart mixed with a little fire and water. Specifically, they could have in their chart: Virgo, Taurus, Leo, strong Saturn and Mercury energy, strong Pluto/8th house,

-> Timeless messages for you from them :

We are healing and learning with all of this.

I am jealous just imagining you being with someone else.

I have always loved you… I’m sorry for realizing it so late.

This is too much for me right now…

I am not ready (yet).

You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.

You, my dear pile two, have or will definitely have something romantically going on there hehe… The order of these messages seem a little messed up but that’s how I received them. I felt ‘yearning energy’ from them but it felt a little hesitant and a bit uncontrolled - like they feel a lot for you but also want to take this slow and not rush this because they respect you and value you really a lot!

Thank you for reading, I would be very happy for some feedback. <3 Wishing you good luck on your journey, pile two!!

pile three

Hello! Dear pile three, your s/o surely is a person with a unique personality or they are quite unique or special to you/in your perception. One of the first things that I got about them is that they are a systems thinker, always figuring out how to get everything working together effectively. I can tell that they love well-built structures and nothing makes them happier than when everything is running smoothly and everyone is doing their part. By contrast, nothing annoys them more than when systems are poorly designed or built. You know they are the type of person that thinks that one never changes things by fighting the existing reality; to change something, you have to build a new model that makes the existing one obsolete. Once they understand the impact of a given action, they will never be able to ignore that problem until they have done their part to fix it.

They just excel at figuring things out and optimizing them. In fact, they have literally no tolerance in efficient things lmao. To be honest, it feels like it takes a bit of work to get them to work together. I think they have a slow internal processor (also very micro focused) - does that make sense? - either way that doesn't mean they’re stupid - in fact they are quite intelligent and have a sharp mind! Also, their sense of responsibility is quite strong. They’re always doing something and are quite stubborn/rigid in their ways - not very flexible. They are list makers and are all about the process. When things do not go as planned they can be very moody. In fact, the slightest interruption to a plan is enough to ruin their entire day (lmao I feel this). They are very detail oriented, for them specifics equal sincerity. They just have extremely high standards (often perfection) especially for themselves but also for other people). Even though they just want to improve the things around them, it might often seem to others that they are just overly critical - like nothing is good enough for them. I honestly feel like they do not get along well with others easily. They surely are incredibly loyal and also self denying. If you’re someone important to them they would do anything for you and I can assure it will be done well! While it often doesn’t seem that way from an outsider perspective, they do tend to put everyone else's needs ahead of their own and if they're not careful they will become resentful of this because they feel the burden to do it. At times this is a very justified feeling, at others it is a self-inflicted choice to take on the tasks. They are very practical and logical. Their thought process is analytical and systematic. This means that they have a specific way in which they feel things should be done. If it does not go as planned or if it does not go in this way, they feel it is "wrong" and this irritates them which in my opinion is comprehensible if you understand how their mind works. Flexibility is not in the inherent skill set for them. If they find a method, they stick to it.

It is important to notice that their intention is truly to help other people; however, more often than not, it feels like criticism to those people but this is just because it is hard for others to understand your s/o. I truly think they are not good at expressing themselves. They might have suffered from this - like being misunderstood, people finding their presence ‘annoying’ - too strong, too negative - and therefore they might have always been excluded or rejected by their peer groups. Of course this might have played out differently for each of your s/o’s my pile three people. When people suffer from such intense need for perfection, they usually have grown up in an environment where their parental figures (or just the people around them) made them feel like ‘this level of perfection’ is the norm - and if they don’t reach this level they are ‘complete failures or just useless’. They might have been emotionally pressured from early on, probably not having experienced much ‘healthy’ love - I say this because if they have done well, they might have received some kind of superficial/fake ‘love’ but only for those moments until they would have ‘failed the expectations’ again. This screams toxic emotionally/mentally unstable or distant parents. I don’t want to go any deeper into their childhood, right? But there is a reason why people are the way they are. Your person probably has never been ‘seen’ the way they truly are, never been understood - they just lived for someone else, constantly working hard, bearing the pressure, just to help someone else, to reach those imposed expectations, just to receive love and maybe even an approval for their existence. They always feel so much weight on their shoulders. So, to give you some tips, try not to take offense when they are serious and hyper focused. And, know that it is important to them that you appreciate their contributions. They value logic and need everything to make sense, so be sure you explain your point thoroughly. And finally, if you seem unstructured, or “willy nilly” to them this will create anxiety and possibly even a lack of trust! So, be careful with this. Show them respect by respecting their need for quality, logic, and structure. This person is probably wise beyond their years. This might surprise you at first. Behind their normal facade, they may have a lot of wisdom to share.

For physical characteristics, your s/o probably doesn’t put too much weight on fashion or anything they wear. They may have a very wise worldview on fashion and style. For example, they may choose what to wear in an almost philosophical way, but at the same time, they don’t take fashion too seriously lol. They might be the type to care about how the garments they wear were sourced or produced. They are someone who is practical in the way they dress, prioritizing ease of movement. They may enjoy wearing athleisure, light fabrics. I feel like their preferred look might be very active and athletic. They might enjoy spending time outdoors and/or hiking. Overall, they give me the vibes that they are very at peace with their physical appearance and that they’re very self-accepting and easygoing. If they do not appear that way at the time you get to know them, then it might have to do with their past/childhood which I assume was not really the best - so to say ‘unresolved childhood issues/trauma’. Even though they might have had some self harm inflicting habits or tendencies in their childhood, I feel like with age they learned the importance of a healthy body (but it feels like it’s more so because of efficiency than self love/self worth but oh well), so they learned how to treat their body better - this might even have turned to some health-obsession where they’re like super strict with their daily schedule, their diet etc. It truly depends on where on the journey your s/o is. (I still do think that they have some not healthy habits - I would even go as far and say coping mechanisms where they might punish themselves in some form when they feel like a ‘failure’ - which they obviously aren’t but they just have a rather questionable perception of themselves at times.)

Emotionally, they might be someone who carries their life lessons with them wherever they go. Even when young, this person might carry life lessons from previous past lives with them (if you believe in this). Even though their past might seem a little extreme, I don’t think they are living in the past or are stuck in the past - the past experiences don’t embitter this person (I don’t think that they blame anyone from their past - they rather would blame themselves), their experiences just make them more cautious and intentional. At some point in their life, they could have some spiritual awakening in some form. Your s/o’s raison d’être (other than improving things around them) may also be to seek out truths. They either hold a large amount of responsibility in their life or their job/profession, or they just take it very seriously. Honestly, your s/o’s presence might often not be very pleasant to other people but in my opinion with the wisdom your s/o’s shares and the way they life their life it forces people to see the uncomfortable truth and to learn, to move on and to grow - and we all know this is most often not a nice experience which might trigger consciously or unconsciously those people hence their negative attitude/reaction towards your s/o. If you ever struggle with something, I can tell you that your s/o can probably give the best advice, helping you change your perspective - it might be some hurtful truth but it is meant well on their end.

As I said before, they usually have good intentions and they have a selfless side to them. They are very generous - to themselves and others (but because of their past experience it might have been very hard to be generous to themselves for a longer period of time). Even if they are not wealthy, this person may be generous with their time and energy. They could be a good listener or a good friend to you. They might have a more passive, receptive energy. (We all have a little bit of both energies expressed in a balanced way, regardless of which gender we identify as.) They might be the type to share their food, to donate their clothes, and they’re really never secretive with advice. I think they are also very socially aware. They are very generally ‘open’ with others; they might not appear like an open book but if you ask them something they would always answer honestly, but they also know when they should not overstep. They’re the type that enjoys the finer things in life, but they would never flaunt what they have. In this aspect, they are all about balance and surely value quality over quantity.

They seem quite emotionally sensitive (in terms of sensing subtle things like other people’s intentions/moods) but also intimate, and laidback. They enjoy making the people that are important to them feel comfortable and at home. Again, they are generous with their money as well as their time. Whenever they can give to others, they probably will, and if not, they probably have a good reason for that. They always want to fulfill their end of the bargain. This is a friend that you surely want to keep around. Honestly, if you get to know them more, you would feel inspired by their generosity. They give from the kindness of their heart, not because they ask for anything in return. They are sincere. All they want is for you to pay it forward. If this doesn’t sound like your person at all, it could be because your person enjoys performing their acts of kindness in secret. They’re not doing it for show. They are the type of person who gives anonymously.

Another thing is that they might enjoy traveling (more so slowly and consciously - they are rarely in a hurry). Traveling for this person is a healing experience. They focus on the journey rather than the destination. They are someone who is in the process of healing - like their whole life seems like a healing journey (from the childhood they experienced). I don’t think they are the type to dwell in the suffering tho. This person is all about moving on, healing, and entering calmer waters. This is a future-oriented person. Although they’ve gone through their fair share of challenges, they still choose to remain optimistic about what is yet to come. They might also prefer to keep a smaller circle of trusted friends and family members (it is partly also because of the reasons we mentioned above - the struggle with being understood etc.) But they are very reliable, and you can also count on them to get whatever job done. This person is also very private, even when for example their job requires them to be in the public eye.

They are the type to make you feel just as calm and mellow as they are. If you’re romantically involved with this person, even though I mention quite a bit of their flaws and struggles, this person will move on from their past and heal, they are perfectly capable of healing - and I would even go so far and say they are destined to heal in this life they’re living. So, you don’t need to worry so much. They would not let a relationship with a person they care about become toxic or harmful. They learned that much and they would never wish this upon another person - especially upon the person they love, okay? I just felt like I had to make this clear. But going back to the ‘traveling’ part; they may even live in a different city/country from you. I don’t know what you scripted but I feel like you might communicate with each other at first from a distance (if your DR is in a modern setting, it might be over phones; if it’s in a traditional/fantasy setting, it might be through letters - I even had the imagery of small note sent by some bird idk a falcon or sth). They will be pretty easy to get along with in a long distance relationship because they enjoy having some time and space for themselves and they also truly commit when they decide on it. They have a calming and healing presence about them; but I feel like it shows more when they are with people they're close with and where they can feel at ease.

You remember how I said in the beginning that your s/o is someone unique, they truly are. Most people might not see how special and I would even say how precious they are. They might have started their life as a rough diamond not knowing their own worth but the more they live the more their worth comes to surface and the people that treated them bad in the past will come to regret their actions and behavior at some point. I feel like you will see their worth and their preciousness, you acknowledge their uniqueness and I think this beautiful (let me cry in a corner for a moment.)

-> Possible energies in their chart : They definitely have strong air energy in some form in their chart mixed with a little earth and water. Specifically, they could have in their chart: Aquarius, Taurus/Libra, Pisces, Capricorn, Virgo, strong Venus, Moon, Mercury and/or Saturn energy.

-> Timeless messages for you from them :

Don’t wait for me. I want you to be happy. And I don’t know how long it will take for me to be ready.

It just scares me to feel so much…

I’m feeling the consequences of my actions.

I’m sure I’m dreaming about you but I can’t seem to remember.

Things moved too fast and I didn’t know how to trust my feelings for you.

Please forgive me, I messed up.

I’m taking this seriously.

The order of these messages seem a little messed up but that’s how I received them. Based on their energy it seemed like they’re feeling apologetic towards you and are being quite hard on themselves because of what happened/will happen. Regarding the first message, they don’t want you to actively wait because it also puts pressure on them as well. They want you to make yourself happy NOW - even if it is just about putting on your favorite music and freely dancing to it. Being in that energy will help you find the right answer. Because they also want you to find out what you truly want without any pressure. They want to help you be your authentic self. The advice that I got was: Don’t wait for it, start now and make yourself happy. Miracles happen and sometimes life takes unexpected and wonderful turns. Be open and curious about what life has in store for you but do not actively wait for it to happen. I hope this advice makes sense and helps you somehow.

Thank you for letting me read your dr s/o’s energy. I only wish you both truly the best! If you could spare some time and give a me little feedback, I would be very grateful. <3

#pac #pac reading #shifting #shiftblr #shifting realities #my tarot readings #f/o imagines #love reading #tarot reading #pick a picture #reality shifting #࣪ pick a card𓈒 𐙚

349 notes · View notes