#THE PEOPLE IN THEM R SO COOL TOO!!!
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Me after finding out there are fandoms to shows/books I thought I would b called really childish or annoying for liking
( Captain Underpants, Wordgirl, and Octonauts fandoms I love you 😭😭 )
#THE PEOPLE IN THEM R SO COOL TOO!!!#captain underpants#wordgirl#octonauts#I LOVE YOU GUYS BUT IM TOO SCARED TO INTERACT WITH THE FANDOMS BC ID GET CALLED CHILDISH / ANNOYING 😭😭
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i've seen a fair bit of... pessimism about dorym lately, esp with the ep107, for example wondering if dorian's opposing views on the gods making orym fall out of love, and i have to say. i very highly doubt it, ur fr talking about the man who has held on to will for so long, holding onto will's family and affectionately calling this *his* family too because that didn't stop when will died. i dont think falling out of love is an option or even a thought to orym.
that said, we know that orym has contingencies for if anyone in bells hells crosses the line into being a version of themselves they would despise, for anyone who jeopardizes their mission. his mission. i think, for the first time since knowing dorian, orym finally has a contingency for him. the longer dorian is back, the more orym sees how scarred he is by what's happened (understandable so) and knows that dorian is with bells hells all the way. but if he isn't...
#lynx speaks#critical role spoilers#cr spoilers#dorym#dorian x orym#i'll be so fr i hardly interact with the cr fandom at large bc soooooo many people are deeply pessimistic#i want to have fun!!!!! i AM having fun#and then i come here and see the most bad faith takes in all of the world ever and its disheartening!#where's ur fucken JOY where's ur fucken WHIMSY#bells hells is one of the wackiest groups with crazy dynamics between them all and its enjoyable!#ur Allowed to enjoy the things u watch i prommy#and to that point! people keep complaining that bells hells r indecisive and there r too many opposing views muddying things etc etc#1. ofc there r a lot of views. the real world is like that too. opposing views is one of the best story elements to enrich ur made up world#2. whenever there is a Big Decisive moment many instantly go 'noooooo not like that!!! that's not what *i*wanted' (ex: the shard.)#the cast receiving backlash from fans every time they r decisive and do something objectively fucken cool and interesting#means that any time they Think about doing a Big Thing... it gets a little harder bc what if the fans hate it. again. should i even do this#separating fandom from cast is a bit more difficult for this form of media and the inherent close proximity or creators to audience#so. just. maybe some of us could chill and cool off just a little. and maybe examine why This Thing is so terrible to u. and remember.#it may be terrible to *u* but thats where it stops. the specific bad feelings u have r not always indicative of media being Bad.#sometimes it's just not ur cup of tea and i PROMMY that its okay if its not
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The best tdmd moments/things (to me; vaguely but not entirely chronological) (also I haven’t read the manga in ages and I’ve only - recently at least - rewatched bits and pieces so some of this is paraphrased while some of it I went back through to get exact quotes and NO I’m not going to do that for all of them it would take too long) (readmore bc it’s a lot):
- “As the crowd shouted, trying to make Sero feel better, Todoroki took a moment to melt his opponent from the ice prison he’d created. For some reason, in that moment, he looked very sad to me.” Ok so this is not the sports festival moment everyone talks about but it LIVES in my head ABSOLUTELY RENT FREE. It’s like, we know Todoroki’s been watching Midoriya for a while, mostly due to his obvious connection with All Might, but in this moment, while everyone is focusing on Sero, Midoriya is Watching Todoroki Back. He Sees Him.
- MIDORIYA TELLING ENDEAVOR THAT HE IS NOT ALL MIGHT AND SHOUTO IS NOT HIM. Midoriya is freeeeeaked tf out bc endvr is intimidating + he’s worried he’ll discover the secret of OFA but the SECOND endvr starts talking like an asshole, Midoriya SHUTS THAT SHIT DOWN. Again, Midoriya has had like ONE conversation with Todoroki and actively Really Wants To Get Away From Endeavor, but he just gets so mad about the way that Endeavor’s talking that he pauses his retreat to correct him and I think that’s beautiful.
- One of Todoroki’s episodes/chapters being titled “The boy born with everything” and how you could easily contrast Midoriya as “The boy born with nothing” (I could not find a definitive answer on whether canon actually calls him that but like). The juxtaposition of their opposite struggles and the underlying understanding that underneath it all they are really not that different. That they have both suffered, and are both trying to make the most of a power with a difficult legacy. (This brings me to the next point because -)
- “It’s your power, isn’t it?”/“It’s yours! Your quirk, not his!” Yeah. I don’t even have to explain this one I think, everyone knows it’s THE tddk moment. I’ll forever die on the hill that Todoroki should’ve found out about OFA sooner and we should’ve had a direct reversal while Midoriya was still struggling with thinking of OFA as his quirk instead of All Might’s and Todoroki repeats Midoriya’s words right back at him. I mean, Horikoshi LOVES to do that (see: repetition of “body moved without thinking”, “meddling when you aren’t asked to is the essence of being a hero”, “that’s what friends are for, right?” etc) the setup was RIGHT THERE, like taking my shipping goggles or whatever off for a second I think it would’ve been a great addition to the story regardless bc it’s an example of how Midoriya has helped other people AND a reminder that he has not quite conceptualized the advice he gives others for himself! Even without that though, we see how important this moment was to Todoroki literally throughout the rest of his arc, to the point that
- “Midoriya, this is my power. Thank you.” IF WE DIDNT GET TDRK TELLING MDYA THAT OFA WAS HIS QUIRK, AT LEAST WE GOT THIS. MY GOD. I was trying to go mostly chronologically, but since we’re talking about a follow-up to “It’s your power, isn’t it?” I HAD to mention this scene next. It’s a really lovely moment because 1) it’s an acknowledgement of how much Todoroki’s grown (which he did on his own! Midoriya reminded him of why he wanted to become a hero in the first place, and he had a lot of support from friends (& teachers/family) but TODOROKI decided to put in the work to become the kind of hero he wanted to be!) and 2) it’s a reminder to Midoriya that he has made a positive impact and helped the people around him, which I think he’s probably struggling with since this is like. Soon after his dropout arc iirc. (Also: it’s a cool new super move that Todoroki developed himself to try to create a better future for his family!! Which, setting aside how beautiful it is that Todoroki has crafted his fire into something that won’t hurt, is also fun bc Midoriya loves quirks and gets to nerd out over Todoroki’s cool new move lol)
- TODOROKI SHOWING UP TO THE STAIN FIGHT. Todoroki has been friends with Midoriya for like a week and gets a location pin with no other context and IMMEDIATELY deduces that 1) Midoriya’s not the kind of guy to randomly drop his location so 2) he must be in danger, and 3) IMMEDIATELY TELLS ENDEAVOR HE’S GOING TO CHECK OUT THE LOCATION AND TO BRING BACKUP TO THERE AFTER HE’S DONE FIGHTING BC HE THINKS HIS FRIEND’S IN TROUBLE. When he actually shows up the first thing he says is something like “Midoriya you should include more details at a time like this. It took me a while to figure out what you meant and I could’ve been too late” but we literally see in the flashback that he figured this all out in like 2 seconds and IMMEDIATELY came to support Midoriya AND SECURED BACKUP. Every person in Midoriya’s phone received the location pin and expressed various levels of curiosity/concern about it in hindsight but Todoroki figured it out right away and immediately came to help (this isn’t a knock on the rest of 1a btw iirc the rest of them weren’t even in Hosu so there’s not anything they really could’ve done about it besides report it - which iirc Kirishima did -, it’s just that Todoroki WAS in Hosu and DID figure it out so he immediately went to help and it was that simple for him). Todoroki also just like. Instantly accepts that ok, Midoriya and Iida were fighting a serial killer, Guess He’s Also Fighting A Serial Killer Now. ALL THIS FOR HIS FRIEND OF A WEEK. This is one of the core tenets of tddkism to me: they are as ride-or-die as they come. Also notable: Midoriya is not generally in the habit of asking for help. The fact that he did, knowing nothing might come of it, AND TODOROKI SHOWED UP EXACTLY WHEN HE NEEDED HIM??? Can we acknowledge how much that probably meant to Midoriya. Also the start of tdiimd as a trio, which this post isn’t really about, but I can’t completely leave Iida out when talking abt the stain fight that’d be fucked up :(
- “We’ll protect them together”. Yes ik, another Stain fight moment, but I believe this line deserves its own point because, again, Todoroki has been Midoriya’s friend for like a week. Immediately prior to Todoroki saying this, he tells Midoriya that his plan is risky. It’s one thing to recognize Midoriya’s text as a call for help and run to be his backup, it’s another thing to let Midoriya take the strategic lead when he’s already injured and the plan itself could be dangerous. But Todoroki puts his trust in Midoriya and says they’ll protect them together, showing his confidence in Midoriya’s strategic prowess AND battle planning ability.
- “You’re a kind person, Todoroki”. Ok I’ll get this out of the way: I have issues with how the writing of this chapter could be read as implying that being a kind person automatically means you have to forgive the person who hurt you. Ik Midoriya tells Todoroki that it’s ok not to forgive Endvr if he doesn’t want to, but the way he follows it up with the fact that he’s a kind person and the assumption that he wants to forgive Endvr...aren’t my favorite. I think it kind of makes sense for Midoriya to think like this given his own experiences (and also. Midoriya is 15, some of his wording is gonna be a little bit awkward sometimes, so I don’t think that’s the only possible interpretation of what he said), but I wish that if that was the intention, there’d be a moment later on where this view was challenged and Midoriya really internalized that you can be kind and still not forgive someone who’s hurt you. THAT BEING SAID, of all the things that Todoroki is called on a regular basis, and of all the qualities Todoroki associates with himself, I don’t think “kind” is necessarily one of them. “Kindness” was not exactly a virtue that Endeavor seemed to prioritize instilling in him (and though Rei probably would’ve, she WAS absent for much of Shouto’s childhood), and he spent so much time building his walls and striving to defy his dad that it’s not something people tend to immediately pinpoint about him. Todoroki really IS kind though, and Midoriya recognizes that AND makes it a point to tell him. For Todoroki, who has worked on himself quite a lot, and just invited friends to his house probably for the first time ever + gone through a tense family dinner in front of them, I think that probably meant a lot (and his expression in that panel is so cute. Ough).
- “Thank you for being Shouto’s friend”. I think the fact that Fuyumi recognized how meaningful their friendship was and thanked Izuku for it was so significant for both of them, like neither of them, as far as we know, HAD a lot of friends prior to attending UA so the acknowledgement that it is a big deal that they befriended each other is special <3
- Tdrk catching Mdya (and bkg and endvr but this ain’t about them) during the first war arc. He doesn’t know shit about OFA at this point but he followed Midoriya to the front lines anyways.
- Todoroki tucking Midoriya in in 327 and putting a hand on his shoulder in 32…8? 9? Fuck if I know I haven’t read the manga in ages. Anyways. These are both tiny moments but I’m grouping them together bc they really show how Todoroki is there for Midoriya, in the way that he’s always noticing things about him, that he’s RELIABLE, he WANTS to be there for Midoriya like Midoriya was there for Todoroki and that manifests both in following him into terrifying fights and in the small gestures of support. Todoroki NOTICES when something’s wrong, and when he has the necessary context he steps up to help.
Bonus mentions:
- the “are you all might’s secret love child or something?” convo in its entirety. Between the Todoroki Family Trauma Dump, Midoriya sympathizing with Todoroki and realizing that despite how different their lives have been, they’re very similar, the beginning of Midoriya’s desire to help Todoroki, and the beginning of Midoriya really Seeing Todoroki, it sets the groundwork for the start of something beautiful
- AFO: “pay close attention to them, tomura shigaraki. These two could prove to be formidable obstacles to you one day”. / AM: “they may have more in common than they realize. They both have such an intense vibe about them.” The fact that both AFO and AM comment on the tdmd sports festival match leads me to believe that originally their relationship (in the original story I’m talking about the platonic sense but read this any way you will since. This IS a post abt why I ship them) was supposed to be more central to the plot, in this essay I will - (<- ramblings of a crazy person but like!!! Both AM and AFO!! And you’re telling me it didn’t mean anything??? Come on!!)
- Also “you’re helping your opponent. You’re a fool.” Their matching maniacal grins after Midoriya prompts Todoroki to use his fire. Todoroki’s softer smile and little tear. Mdya’s “Amazing…”. Them immediately deciding to go full force regardless if it kills them (IMPORTANT FACT ABOUT THEM IS THAT THEY’RE INSANE <3). “Midoriya…thank you.” (OUGHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭)
- MDYA YELLING “DONT GIVE UP” DURING THE TDRK/BKG MATCH AND FOR A BRIEF MOMENT TODOROKI STARTS USING HIS FIRE AGAIN. Ik he ultimately doesn’t end up using his fire, but that makes SENSE, you can’t process all that trauma immediately, it takes time!! The fact that for a moment, Midoriya’s voice was enough to allow him to use his fire so soon after his life-altering revelation in the tdmd match is so important to me though :( (and the fact that Midoriya’s willing to 1) root for Todoroki and 2) root for him loud enough that both Todoroki and Bkg can hear,,, ohh tdmd are so special to me)
- their little convo at the training camp. “You have a habit of sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong” lol (paraphrased). Underrated tdmd thing is that they’re willing to tell it to each other straight. But also, the genuinely good advice of “words themselves aren’t enough, actions are also needed to get through to someone” (again, paraphrased) (reminder of how Mdya helped Tdrk!! W/ words AND actions!! And now he’s helping Mdya help Kota!)
- “I don’t know, I think heroes cry when they need to probably” - acknowledges Mdya’s crying as a positive trait bc when he’s not crying it means he’s repressing things, also serves as a reminder that heroes are people too (a similar sentiment to Uraraka’s “who will save the heroes when they need saving?”). Serves to remind Mdya that his crying doesn’t make him less of a hero + it’s ok to feel things. Also Tdiimd.
- “You can’t even cry”/“Let us share that burden together” (this is like. Veeeery paraphrased I’m sorry I don’t have access to the chapter and I’m too lazy to rewatch). The whole class said very meaningful things to try to get Midoriya to come back, but even though he wasn’t ultimately the one to fully get through to him (SHOUTOUT TO IIDA ILY IIDA THIS POST ISNT ABOUT HIM EITHER BUT JUST KNOW I CANT WATCH THAT SCENE WITHOUT TEARING UP THEY R SO DEAR TO ME) Todoroki’s is one of my favorites bc sure maybe he doesn’t understand what it’s like to have no quirk and then suddenly have a quirk that’s actually seven quirks and have a pretty much all-powerful supervillain hunting him down but he DOES understand the burden of trying to shoulder the crushing legacy of a top hero, and here he reaches out to Midoriya once more reminding him that his tears are a good thing and offering to share the burden and help Midoriya like Midoriya’s helped him.
- Light novel moments: Mdya teaching Tdrk how to make AM origami and Tdrk sending it to Rei, Tdrk going to return Mdyas pencil and admiring Mdyas AM figure and Mdya trying to give it to him bc he has another one but Tdrk refuses bc he doesn’t want to damage it so he suggests he just come visit it instead (I haven’t read the light novels but I’ve seen these excerpts and I love them dearly) (these are just all really cute it’s nice to see what they’re like outside of doing hero stuff)
- Todoroki’s “Midoriya Sense” (yes this is a fandom joke based on like the stain incident + noticing smth was up during the “heroes cry too” incident + Todoroki asking abt him before the cultural festival etc but it IS genuinely very sweet that Todoroki is always looking out for Midoriya and trying his best to help when he can)
- TODOROKI TELLING MIDORIYA TO REMOVE THE BATTERIES FROM HIS PHONE SO THE GOVERNMENT COULDNT TRACK HIM WHILE HE WAS ON THE RUN BC HE WAS A MURDER SUSPECT. Now I haven’t watched the third movie so I may be wrong about the details but it was VERY funny of Tdrk to be like “did you kill people??? Never mind that actually here’s how to avoid the government” (paraphrased for comedic effect)
-“Midoriya and the others” (cute, something Shouto says…several times lmao) (Izuku has also said “Todoroki and the others” at least once (in the first movie) but I’m not aware of it being a recurring phrase like “Midoriya and the others”)
#this is so varied in quality I’m sorry lmao. but I wrote this at like 4 am and I don’t feel like editing it#(…that much. I edited it a little bit)#tododeku#todomido#tddk#todoroki shouto#midoriya izuku#‘Julia this is basically every time they interacted’ well yes!!#its 2025. I’m barely even into bnha anymore. but I’m still insane about them.#also this post isn’t about iida BUT IT COULD BE. I COULD PUT HIM IN HERE TOO. TDIIMD MY BELOVED.#it killed me a little to not mention him that much bc this post is abt tdmd as a ship bc they r my. sighs. otp.#(I’m almost 23 years old it feels so dumb to use that word and yet)#(edit: oh shit I am 23 I left this in the drafts too long)#but tdiimd both as a ship and the hosu trio friendship is sooooooo important to me tdiimd are sooooooo important to each other#both bc they care abt each other as people and have been through a lot together and in how they’ve affected each other’s growth#(see: Tdrk inspiring iida to ‘be the hero you want to be’ after Mdya inspired him to do the same#& iida being the one to catch Mdya during the vigilante arc w/ help from Tdrk + 1a & repeating the ‘that’s what friends are for’ line)#(and don’t get me started on the iida/mdya/uraraka trio & how canonically important to each other they are.#or the shouchako friendship that exists mostly in my head. bc this post is about tdmd.)#(but it’s also important to me that you know Iida and Uraraka are so important to Midoriya and Todoroki and each other as well okay? okay??#sorry I have chronic ‘have to yap in the tags’ disease.#anyways to me tdmd is about:#1) the ways they parallel and contrast each other#2) their deep understanding of each other in a way that imo no other character really has#(and the ways that they DON’T understand each other despite all their similarities)#3) their ride-or-die nature that manifests in both grand dramatic gestures and tiny moments of support#oh yeah and how well they work together as a hero team is pretty cool too#anyways we’re freeing this from the drafts idc#I just need yall to know that I never moved on and likely never will
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theres something in me that wants to write the exact same au shifted slightly to the left 48269484 billion times
#i don’t post much abt how much i love tIou cause i don’t like a lot of the fandom (lots of x readers… which is 100% fine and tbh i highly-#encourage it if it makes those people happy it’s just not my style… also a lot of ppl are Weird abt certain things… and also it just has -#the curse of Any popular media having a specific kind of fandom WHICH IS FINE!! but not my style….)#and i also have a really weird fear that i will be lambasted for liking it? but#GOD I RLLY LIKE IT UNFORCH… yes i think some things could’ve been handled better yes i have gripes about both the game and the show adapta-#tion…. BUT I RLLY LIKE IT A LOT I FEAR…. it’s just pandered 2 me in a really evil way (some1 born in the south who grew up near-#wyoming + jackson hole alllll the time because the guy who raised me always brought me 2 yellowstone….. road trips r my one true love in-#this life… also i am unforch. the easiest person to Get with the dadification trope 4 obvious reasons…)#and handled some very specific topics esp in the first game/season that hit really close 2 home 4 me.#AND SO i keep thinking abt making another pd tlou au that follows the first game/season almost exactly with maybe a few tiny changes#ie only the ones i’d make to the og story itself… bizly announcing the upcoming tIou video really did a number on me#i really wanna write that too even if i never post it because i could literally Hear mark and dakota thru out some parts of the game when i#rewatched a play through and also as dear as hamartia is 2 me it has the curse of any project i work on long term which is i have Improved-#and also was struggling a lot w quality vs on-time posts and so i’m wildly insecure abt it…#so i think it’d be cool to re explore the au with what ive learned from the last year of working on hamartia…#but. i also feel weirdly evil bc someone else has already posted 2-3 oneshots of a tIou au with rlly similar character placements…#and while i havent read them + didn’t get the idea from them i still feel super paranoid that ppl would think im copying … idk#something something Holy Shit ! Two Cakes
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Never gonna be over how unutterably pathetic and in dire need of ANY kind of companionship or friendship that doesn't revolve around their band the entirety of dethklok are. I love these horrible idiots who are so devoid of any real connections outside of themselves that they will latch onto anyone unfortunate enough to get too close to any one of them! And GOD help anyone they latch onto!!
#jay talkin#metalocalypse#im thinking about the doubles episode where they just seem genuinely happy to have 'friends'#who arent like. industry people. these men are so starved of any kind of connection#and it takes them four seasons a rock opera and a movie to realise they can find that in each other lmao#also thinking about how quickly any of them bond and become really intense abt anyone in their life#aka: NATHAN TOWARDS ABIGAIL. oh dear poor abigail oh dear#but also toki to damn near anyone and this goes for the entire band tbh as well they all do this at least once#and yeah its mainly cuz 10min eps mean u gotta progress stuff fast#but also holy shit. charles these boys want friends so bad u gotta set em up on playdates or smth#maybe it'd get some of their dumb stupid idiot energy out and they'd be better behaved. well. no they wldnt but... u can dream#i do think theres smth to be said that yeah all of dethklok are cool theyre metal superstars they r good at what they do#theyre also fucking prophesised saviours too and theyre also incredibly dangerous idiots and terrible ppl#but never forget that they are also. so so SO pathetic and isolated and dysfunctional#these men have not lived in the real world in decades and are disconnected and unsocial and spoilt and u can see that this does impact#the way they interact w the world! they need like. anything other than the band in their lives hah. they do need to pal around#im glad they find that in each other eventually!!#i dont want 2 sound like im babying them or infantilising them these r grown asshole idiot men but like. listen these shitheards r lonelyyy#everyone in their lives is like. assigned to be there and is set as beneath them in a class and workbased system#they dont rlly have ppl who r just there cuz they like em. outside of fans. and fans arent rlly a real connection yknow#their only connections come via work networking sex and violence and worship baby!!!! its fucked up!
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hey, uh – i don't really want to come at you because i think you have a decent point, but you can be a trans man, lesbian, and on testosterone all at the same time (source: i am one). while i think there may be some people like that, i also think that a lot of them choose to call themselves lesbians because they are lesbian trans men/transmascs, not straight trans men
i don't want to come across as condescending, so i apologize if i am, but i don't like the insinuation that all trans men attracted to women are strictly straight, because a lot of us have complicated relationships with our sexuality and gender
Hi. i will not be articulating myself very well in parts of this. so please bare with me & assume that i have a good faith argument here, not one built on hate but rather built on both inclusion and introspection. that 'introspection' part is key in my politics. Also, when i say "you", i mean it in a general sense, not "you" directly as the asker here. i don't know you personally and i'm not trying to tell you how to live your life.
so, to your ask specifically: i know that, and acknowledged that in the post even, but i don't think it detracts from my point.
i'm not saying you (general) can't be a man AND a butch lesbian. i'm sure you can! there are plenty. but i'm saying if you are to a point where you are kicking and screaming that you can never ever never be a straight trans man... why? what's stopping you, aside from comfort in the lesbian label? what's so comfortable about it, to you, as a man?
i get having a complicated relationship with gender. (i have one too, believe it or not.) but... listen. take it from someone who has tried their entire life to explain their feelings away. you cannot simply slap a label on a complex feeling and call it a day. you need to address the feeling.
i guess at the end of the day (and this is me personally, i'm not trying to make a statement or something) i'm not really seeing why you would want to label it as lesbian attraction as opposed to literally anything else. THAT'S why i made my post -- this attachment to the idea that a 'queer' attraction MUST be gay/lesbian, when really, it's a queer relationship because the people inside of it are queer. 'straight' is a bit of a misnomer here. to me, these terms are descriptors moreso than they are full-fledged identities -- however, it seems the folks in question are treating it moreso as identities, which i get... but also don't get.
ok, here is where i DO make a statement: there is a serious problem of trans men's identities not being seen as enough because they're men. this is just fact. questioning trans men will do absolutely anything to avoid accepting a binary male identity -- including and especially identifying as things like butch, nonbinary, or genderfluid when really if they were to kill the transphobe in their heads, they would find that they're happier as a man. sure, these things can coexist with maleness, but more often they are used as "stepping stones" so to speak. this is why movements like forcemasc/autoandrophilia are so popular; because for decades, it's been told that if you're a trans man, you are 'not queer enough', because we associate queerness with femininity. (the history of that is one of my special interests, but unless you want my 20ish-page WIP thesis, that's a convo for another day.)
right now i'll just say that communities on tumblr are REALLY adamant that you can be many things at once. and that's great and all, because you can! we all contain multitudes. but if you just accept things at face-value, it does nothing to confront that internalized transphobia in your head. you need to be asking *why* a label/identity/descriptor/etc resonates with you.
it boils down to then, i suppose, if the word 'lesbian' is really a necessary term/descriptor for any reason other than comfort. which, once again, comfort is a valid reason... but were it me, i would also want to challenge that comfort.
are you a lesbian because you feel like you "need" to be a lesbian for your queer attraction towards women to "count"? are you a lesbian because historically, lesbianism has been close with butchness and transness? are you a lesbian because it's convenient? because of history? why are you so strongly adamant that you MUST be a butch transmasculine lesbian? is there a voice in your head saying that you "can't" be a man attracted to women, because if you are then it will "detract" from your queer identity? why do you cling so hard to being a not-woman, but refuse to even entertain the idea of being a man instead? and if you are comfortable being a man, how is the lesbian label (historically associated with women who like women) serving you? i'm not saying it can't, i want you (not me) to answer how.
i'm not intending to say that i know more than you about who you are. i simply mean to say that often, it's a misdiagnosis of sorts. i have this same problem with folks who have dozens of microlabels or sets of pronouns. again, there's nothing wrong with it necessarily, but it begs the question of if ALL of that is necessary, if ALL of that feels 'true' to yourself, if ALL of that is a crucial part of your identity.
is it how you are happiest? is it the most accurate way to describe yourself?
let me use my personal experience to explain better what i mean. for a while, i refused to acknowledge being a trans man in any capacity. i identified for a good chunk of time as nonbinary, and even as a nonbinary lesbian when i was really young, and for over a decade i always explained away why i 'couldn't' transition, or why testosterone 'just wasn't for me.' (i read a great article about this recently, btw.) because i couldn't be a man--i just couldn't, that was off limits--but, oh, i could NEVER be a woman. for the majority of my pubescent life i refused to acknowledge to be anywhere NEAR womanhood. i wasn't a man, but i certainly WASN'T a woman.
and because of that rejection of womanhood, i did anything in my power to distance myself from liking women or even feeling a connection to womanhood. it's like being anywhere adjacent to femininity 'tarnished' me somehow. i am only just now starting to come to terms with an attraction to women and i still haven't gotten out of that rut yet, and hell sometimes i start to think i might be genderfluid--but because i pushed away any possible connections with femininity, i would have never accepted that. similarly, i'm only just now going on testosterone after having battled my entire teenage years with why i didn't need it.
the point of my post wasn't that you can't be happy as an xyz; rather that we often use these straddling identities that seem contradictory because we have conflict somewhere in ourselves that is unresolved. i was genderfluid, i was a transmasculine lesbian, i was a gay nonbinary person-- and all of those are respectable labels to use which i have no problems with, but they weren't serving to address my underlying problems. they did nothing to address why i felt the way i did, why i used those labels.
it's one thing to use a label, it's another to identify with it.
ultimately, not everyone is going to see identity in the same way i do. and i understand that and i respect it. for some people it's a fun little game or they like collecting words and flags. but i think when you treat it that way, when you collect these labels without crucially examining why you feel that way, or when you use a term because it's what is most comfortable to you without examining why it's comforting, you are essentially refusing to examine yourself critically. no, you aren't required to do it, but the longer it goes unexamined, the bigger a problem it becomes.
once again, if you (general 'you', not asker) come away from it all and are truly, fully happy as a trans male butch lesbian, that's great, i might not get it but i don't need to, and i wish you the best in life as your beautiful self. but i think it's something to think about that we (for lack of better term) encourage so much overlap of labels. the overlap exists, and i recognize that it does--at the end of the day, other people's identities is none of my business, and i'm just pointing out that too many people are not enough people are addressing their real feelings (which i'd like to remind you, dear asker, that was the point of my post.) but i also have to note--if you are adamant about being a not-woman, i would imagine you would want as far away from a label that historically has applied pretty exclusively to women as possible. i sure did. well, ultimately it's not for me to decide.
i have a lot more to say, but to be honest, i don't think tumblr is where i'm going to get full-blown academic-level good-spirited discourse about the historical usage of terms like 'lesbian' and 'dyke' so i'm just going to stop here. Sorry if something didn't make sense or seemed like i'm putting an entire community of people down.
#💙 cass#asks#i don't want to be critical of other people's identities. i want THEM to be critical of THEMSELVES.#why do you feel that way? why do you feel comfortable with this term but not that?#what about it appeals to you? why? WHY is the big question.#THAT'S the real meat of the issue is that people don't self reflect enough#interesting to note but i don't ever see it in reverse#which is why i didn't point it out in my op!#you don't ever see transfems going 'well ok i can be a transfeminine gay dude.... but i CAN'T be a straight trans woman'#not that it doesn't happen just that it doesn't happen to this scale#Now. the real reason i didnt talk about that is because we would have to examine#the entire history of the label of lesbianism. And we don't have time for that#also quite frankly i don't trust that there's enough educated people on this website to have reading comprehension#y'all aren't exactly plato or aristotle on here </3#but TLDR queerness has always aligned more with femininity ergo more lesbians than anything else. Ok? that's the short.#these tags r getting to long and this is too much exposition for a convo#so let's just leave it at this: it's cool to use multiple labels. But please make sure you're introspecting on why you use them. ok? <3
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#dude its crazy how i always end up loving a ship thats widely hated (on twt) for NO FUCKING REASON???#like dmngl obv i dont get the hate (i mean i kinda do bc they hate him and love her and want her to be a lesbian#and us just being silly delusional for funsies on the internet destroys THEIR narrative so. Ok)#also another ship i love that the twt fandom hates : krtsk from hq#LMAOOOO the shit ive had to read from idiots with a kink for (fake) moral superiority……#calling it a power imbalance/pr*datory/gr**ming oh my god you people are just making shit up & downplaying those actual terrible things huh#ALSO. common point here too: its ALWAYS bc theyre clashing w a more popular ship. yk which ones im not naming for either example#dude. we are being delusional abt internet ppl w personal lives we're aware of (amnd's MARRIED and STRAIGHT) & also things we ARENT aware o#and (talking abt hq) we are being delusional abt pixels and their relationships which are NOT canon!#and even if they are canon ppl can ship what they want!#ships dont threaten each other bc neither of them are real and this is all fake and for funsies#BUT. ppls prejudices and how they justify their opinions are real. and THATS more worrying than being silly abt fake r/s on the internet#chemistry is in the eye of the beholder#anyway.#i need to calm down. everything's fine. i'm an adult.#this is the only time ill talk abt this i truly dont (/dont want to) care none of this matters#i have a job (i want to quit). a career (thats going off the path i want). a cat to feed (who is fat and i love her)#also most haters are useless to the fandom and contribute nothing other than lukewarm regurgitated takes and shady tweets.#i am a writer and am therefore better than them . like. as a person entirely#and if youre any kind of creator then youre better than them. actually as long as ure not a senseless hater like them then youre cool too.
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#tag talk#vent#also I'm gonna complain because I had another experience of “I look dumb because I assumed things followed rules and they don't”#okay so most heavy machinery uses keys (as opposed to numberpad locks) right? right. so I'm renting out a boom lift to a guy and we finish#finish the rental process and I go out with him to unlock it and get it hitched up to his truck. and I'm like oh right you need the key.#so I go in to the key box and there's a shit ton of keys and they're supposed to be organized and of course they're not organized at all.#so I take a picture and text it to my tool tech and then call him to be like hey which fucking key goes to the 35' boom lift???#and he gives me a vague description that matches 3 keys so I'm like okay I'll figure it out from here. and I check and all 3 keys have#have different teeth. now most times the same brand and type of equipment will just have the same key. a kubota key will turn on most kubota#but they have different teeth. so I'm like okay I'll just try each key. it's only 3 keys it'll be easy. so I go out and I try the first key#and it turns. cool. problem solved right? I get suspicious and try another key. it also turns. I get worried. I try the third key. it works.#I'm now concerned because they're literally keyed differently. so I get worried they they all turn but maybe they won't really all Work#now in retrospect I realize that it's not that complicated. like those cheapo locks that have a “key” but really can be opened by anything#but I'm stressed. the inspection process already crashed on me once. and I'm alone and behind schedule for closing up shop.#and because I learned a rule as a kid. locks can't be opened by different keys. and I had 3 different keys.#so I call my tool tech again and I'm like man I don't know which is the right key they all turn in the starter#(it's electric so it's not like an engine turns on or anything.) and my tech is very clearly confused and I'm panicking because this guy's#been trying to rent this boom lift for the past thirty minutes and the program crashed and now this green kid doesn't know which key to use#and anyway. I realize all too late that any of the 3 keys would work (even though they're. once again. literally KEYED DIFFERENT)#and I have a mortifying moment where I just.. hand him the key and am like “any of them would work”#and I've been sleeping like shit the last few days so I've been stuttering like hell and he's been giving me sympathetic looks the wholetime#and anyway I'm gonna go down myself in the bathtub or something I feel like a fucking idiot#need one of those “be patient I have autism” shirts or something.#and like.. I'm MAD. because keys are supposed to work how keys work. I got taught how locks work and now they work differently??? ughhhhh#I know it's stupid but I'm mad because it's a stupid little thing and now I look like a fucking idiot and I'm not and yet I am#I know if I were R this wouldn't bother me and I would laugh and be able to slow down my mind enough to speak slowly and clearly#but I can't I'm not her I'm not wearing my armor right now I'm stuck weak and stupid and I know I'm venting I know I know I know I know#I should add the vent tag so people can block this accordingly. so you can ignore my- no calm down buddy don't get that self pitying okay?#hey it's alright. I'm gonna post this and we're gonna have a chat okay?
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jing yuan and yanqing are giving zhongli and xiao if the latter’s canon relationship was Actually fanon’s made up father figure/adopted child dynamic
#idkkkkkkkkkkkkk who looks at zx and is like 'you know what. this is a healthy parent child relationship'#like girl by fitting them into father son boxes you are actively making their relationship imbalance Worse#if you do that and dont shy away from it i respect that but if you say dad/son makes their relationship more wholesome or whatever like WHY#now i wont deny shippers might do that too but i see the dad son version so much i think im just averse to it by default#also because i think father son makes people actively Try to make their relationship something that its not and it erases a bunch of subtlet#subtleties in it. it's the nuanced r/ship -> entirely unproblematic and flavorless r/ship that i hate#also the number of people who'll block if you ship zx. like damn thats crazy you guys really think theyre father son (fake)???#at their peak they're like. 4000 year old guys who have too much history and repression and some weird entanglement of 'nah im bothering him#too much' and 'gotta protect him w my life' complexes. and then this devolves into theyre never gonna kiss until 3000 more years have passed#listen they just Contain Multitudes idc if you dont ship it just dont make it into dad and son and we will be so gucci#jing.yuan and yanqing are like different i think mostly bc yanqing is actually like a minor and jing yuan is also a normal ish person#plus the light cone and the abouts?? yeah this is an actual like adopted parent/child thing#also good or bad news i caved and am now playing hsr. the plan is to pull yanqing and then go on infinite hiatus in the game 👍#JWKFLJWEK i dont think theres really any draws for me besides him. personally neutral on turn based combat and the open world isn't giving#the only saving grace i have rn is 1) ive gotten to the part where bron.seele is real and man theyre gay 2) trailblazer trio 3) tall female#mc 4) everyone has way better emoting abilities than genshin 5) su.shang's really cute <3#the story doesnt really interest me though its like cool but not mindgrippingly interesting#tbf i think genshin is the same way storyline wise (at the beginning) but the difference is that turn based combat isnt really my thing LMAO#ramblings!#zhongxiao#if you want to filter it out ??
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#wow it was an absolute mistake to watch Furiosa right after Fury Road. honestly Furiosa was an absolute mistake in general holy shit#sry i havent been on tumblr lately my hands have been busy w projects but i HAVE TO VENT THIS OUT#WHY WAS ALL THE IMAGERY SO SOULLESS AND SHITTY?? WHY WERE THE COSTUMES CHEAP UNI-COLOUR PLASTIC??#DID THEY EVEN HAVE ANY BUDGET AT ALL? THE CREDITS ARE FULL OF NAMES. WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE DID THEY JUST SIT THERE#WHY DID THEY MAKE SUCH A LOSER VILLAIN LIKE HE HAD ZERO COOLNESS FACTOR NO HUMANIZING/LIKEABLE QUALITIES 0/10#WHY WOULD YOU PUT COMEDIC RELIEF IN THE FORM OF COMEDY RATHER THAN THEATRICS LIKE THE FIRST MOVIE#THEY CALL IT FURIOSA CUZ ITS MAKIN ME A FURIOUS#PLUS LIKE PEPPERING IN SCENES FROM THE FIRST MOVIE MAKES THIS ONE LOOK SO MUCH WORSE BY COMPARISON#hooh okay like fr tho there is no nice way to say it. that was terrible. like terrible bad. no redeeming qualities.#well. there were dogs. thats it. thats where the good parts start and end. i dont even know if they were real dogs tbh#the sound design/music was terrible too. many moments of just dead air (without purpose) or inappropriate sound#the acting was so reserved its like they didnt want any of the actors to show any emotion other than stoic (or comedic for the villain)#man that was definitely like a la croix flavour of movie (except i actually like la croix)#literally tho why did no one show any emotion at all#plus inappropriate romance added like??#and the heavy subject so pervasive in the first movie was like 'oh nvm that didnt happen everything is good here'#just wow man. wow. I wouldn't be as mad if this had any fun factor at all. zero fun to be had in this.#i s2g if there were less neon red paint as a stand-in for blood#... this would've been rated like PG 13 max. it couldve easily been trimmed down to PG like. it was so sanitized.#like im not saying they had to show a certain graphic subject. but they could have actually put the R rating to use#their budget wouldve been better spent rewriting the script and hiring less known actors.#idr when this came out was it a covid casualty or an enshittification casualty? probably the latter if not both#shouldve watched them in reverse order but i wasnt planning on watching the second.#like sure first movie is a bit cheesey and not a lot of depth because of how fast paced it goes. but it was FUN. the actors acted.#anyway thats my vent i gotta mentally cool off now lol that seriously made me so mad#ShitPost.exe#fr tho like i knew it was gonna be shit when i first heard about it happening and the actors they chose. but i didnt know it was...#...gonna be THIS BAD. like especially the visuals and dead air in between awkward one-liners that gave me secondhand embarrassment#0/10 dont watch Furiosa if you havent already. Fury Road is good. Furiosa is like... the dollar store version of that universe#like complete with the halloween store version of the characters costuming lmao i wouldnt doubt that cosplayers have prob done it way better
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saw laura jane grace live and got to meet her after the show and it truly was such a blast being right up front where she could hear me and my best friend gossiping with the people who invited us up to barricade cause she asked the group of us about it afterwards LMFAO




#the photo of me with her has such horrific lighting my blush makes me look CLOWNISH white people when there r street lamps#loving her so deeply so dearly that show was so good#BAIT BAG WAS SUCH A GOOD OPENER OH MY GOD THEYRE SO GOOD#weakened friends r so cool too like to see and chat with as well i cherish them so much#laura jane grace#drove like 2 hours to the portland ME show amen
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Tac's mom?!?!!!?
TAC'S MOM ....i don't have a name for her just yet but she is so nice and so cool
as a little kid, before he rly caught onto the fact that it was Weird, tac would occasionally mention his death date in vague ways. it was natural to him, and until he got older, he didn't rly realize that this wasn't common knowledge. when he mentioned the end of the world in such a serious manner, it would make people look at him oddly, or they would never take him seriously. over time, from context, he got the memo; death date talk = tension and weird looks
he stopped mentioning it altogether somewhere around middle school, but his mom never forgot about it. when he was Rly young, it wasn't much to be concerned about—kids say some weird stuff, even if his obsession with The End seemed a little dark. but then he kept saying it. and with the way he talked about it, he seemed fully and utterly convinced of the end of time.
he was still mentioning it in passing when he got into middle school, and that kinda talk is a little more alarming coming from a 10 year old than it is coming from a 4 four old, somehow. 4 year olds will say anything, and when he was 4, he didn't really grasp the Weight of the Knowledge yet
his mom thinks this is . concerning, to say the least. having ur kid mention something like this in such a convinced, serious tone, SO consistently for years,,, it's unsettling. things like, "i dont need good grades mom im not even gonna live long enough to finish college," and, "you're never gonna get to pay off this house... that's kinda depressing."
she remembers the date he's mentioned a few times. october 18th. she doesn't know where he got this info, that he'd die some day in october. where did that even come from? and she wouldn't put so much stock into it if it weren't for his behavior Never changing
he was already kind of uncaring about consequences even at a pretty young age—he didn't apply himself in school, even though she Knew he was a smart kid. he got into a lot of fights and made the wrong people mad at the wrong times, and the only time he ever seemed to care was when it made his mom upset. she's rly the only thing stopping him from doing more drastic things that would get him into more trouble, even when he's older and he knows better
even when he stops mentioning the death date, he never changes that behavior, and it scares her. he never Starts caring; if anything, he cares less and less about his future the older he gets. he seems so convinced...
his downward spirals start showing themselves around middle school as well, and at some point she starts seeking professional help for him.bc this is not normal. outwardly, it looks a Lot like depression (and it is<3) and it takes some convincing, but tac finally agrees to be put on pills, if only to make his mom feel better abt it. they help a little. key word here being A Little. she tries to get him therapy too, but he's stubborn about it
she's very supportive of him, and mostly just worried out of her mind. she doesn't Get It and every time she tries to ask, tac either shuts her down or shuts down himself. maybe she doesn't need to Get It to help him tho. maybe she just has to be there for him
tac loves his mother dearly tho dude he loves and respects her so much. his least favorite thing in the world is stressing or worrying her, so he tries his best to appear like everything's fine, for her sake. he doesn't want her limited time on this planet to be spent pacing the living room about it all. he wants her to just live her life without worrying abt him
#qktalks#brown-little-robin#tac vanderlith#october eighteenth#sorry i talked about tac a lot in a post about his mom but u needed the Backstory Info#he tries to avoid going to her for a lot of things but when even his best buddy rett feels too far away his mom is always there#tac has a much firmer grasp on Mortality than a lot of people his age. which affects his day-to-day life quite a lot#other teenagers tend to ''hate'' their parents and some of them hate them for stupid and pathetic reasons#like yeah if ur parents actually suck then go ahead and hate them but#tac thinks the people who do it just cuz it's cool r dumb as hell. so u hate ur pillars of support? that's cringe.#tac has like 5 years left w this woman he's going to cherish every fucking second of it. he loves his mom and what she's done for him#about the pills as well: tac REFUSES to talk to any medical professionals about the death date#even when his mother encourages him to his lips r SEALED. these people r Professionals and Intimidating. and this is nothing they can solve#and they can't rly help a guy who's So against help.so for now they treat his depression as much as they can
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Strive finals were fucking amazing. I feel like a corpse. Today was a blast. God bless the fgc and her guns (wakeup dps). I love this beautiful nation.
#SO TIRED.#met so many cool people today though. truly like. amazing.#txt#got rid of all but 6 cards too LOLLLLL ONCE THE PLUS R PLAYERS HEARD I HAD THEM. THEY WERE GONE.
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pinkerton daughter or blue album son?
Pinkerton daughter would be just like me, I would love her and cherish her forever. Pretty girls love Pinkerton.
Blue Album Son, he’ll probably be a loser if he unironically listens to Blue as a teenager (but a cool loser, as many Weezer fans are). I will also love and cherish him, even if he has bad taste in music.
Either way, I would love both of these options (but I lean towards Pinkerton daughter)
#weezer#HEATED DEBATE#TW SNOWFLAKES FOR OPINION 🔥#IDK i would like either one!#i would support loser son and girl loser daughter 🌞#but what if Blue Album son only knows Blue because of fortnite festival….#😟#fyi i love blue but many people say weezer is just bad music taste#I DONT MEAN ITTTTT I LOVE BLUEEEEEE AND K LOVE WEEZERRR#cmon guys! i’m weezerlvr228!#i just da joke :3#i see sm pretty girls on tiktok lipsync to Pinkerton and LOVEEE it bc most of the time they r little weezer fans too#with cds and posters and IDK ITS COOL TO ME :3#but then again blue album guys are SO cool ; am moots with some and one of them is super nice to me and such#i fw it😎#ask!
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im back from anime convention today ^_^
#cryn rambles#IT WAS SO FUNN#i love conventions i love going to hang out with other nerds for like 4 days#its like a nice reminder. that there are cool people in the world#theres like a lot of people at anime cons that suck but like you can just ignore them bc the few cool ones r too standout#there was a jfashion meetup today and we all went and got boba together :3c#and i got SO many new PRINTS im so excited#i love giving artists all of my money#and there was an ENSTARS MEETUP on friday it was so funsies i was cosplaying fs shu :33333#meow#anyway#back to regularly scheduled tumblr activity#lazer rambles
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girl u r so misery irony poisoned and playing further and further into tht mindset and spending time with people with tht mindset bc u blatantly hate being vulnerable and open to the point of pushing away someone whos told you time and time again tht its okay to be open and vulnerable with them and that theyd be with you as long as it took for you to be vunerable having lied to them by saying vulnerable things and acting vulnerable in ways u didnt even mean then taking them back after pushing them out of your life without ever having the courage to admit the obvious reason that its that you have issues with being vulnerable that you have to work on in order to have proper relationships with others its insane
#taylor swift was right. guess maybe i am better of NOWTHAT !! WEDONT !! TALK !!!#do genuinly feel sad for them tht the “important men who think important thoughts” (to keep up with the song theme sorry im insane)#tht theyre surrounding themselves with now ik r like .the type of ppl always mocking things that are too ''cringe'' or sincere#and making self deprecating and including them in self depreciating jokes nd encouraging them to make them about themself#bc ik just gonna make them like. more miserable !! but yk they where the one tht decided theyd rather be miserable and ''cool'' instead o#vulnerable and they decided they dont want me around so its not my business anymore ! i guess i dont have a say now that we dont talk#i wish i cld help them to work thru this but i offered to multiple times saying despite how difficult it might be id be there#and they said no and ykw. there are things and people out there#more deserving of my time and energy than someone who does that. and the one thats most true about looks me back in the mirror each day#so i shoud probably put a lot of that love and energy into them bc theyre someone who really deserves it !!!#okay done . enjoy youre miserable irony poisoned cringe life [REDACTED EX BEST FRIENDS NAME] bc the best thing abt it#is gone and wont come back unless you try to be better !!!#flappy rambles
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