#THE FIC THAT I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER FINISH IS DONE :D | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hwanghyunjinenthusiast · 1 year ago

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Cherry Boy. [l.c.]

Chapter One of "Losing it". Reminder that each chapter in this series is stand alone and can be read without reading any of the others!

A new relationship is always difficult to navigate, for Chan, it appears to be even more difficult. For you? You’re just left confused as to why your new boyfriend of a month and a half hasn’t made a move on you despite your very obvious attempts to invite him into your personal space. You soon realize that your boyfriend is a virgin, and that’s why he’s always running away with his hands covering his bits, even through a simple goodnight kiss.

ao3 | m.list | minors dni! | reblog for chan's happy trail

WORDCOUNT― 10k

PAIRING― lee chan x afab reader

CONTENT― brief break up due to horrible communication skills, virginity loss, reader gets super insecure about her body and personality, fluff, smut obv

NOTE― This is the reason I gave chan the first chapter in the series. It's because of those pics...you know the ones. Anyway, shoutout to @ressonancee and @onlyhuis for proof reading this for me! love u guys with my entire being!

smut tags under cut::

SMUT TAGS― virginity loss, makeout session, neck kissing, tit fondling, unprotected sex, belly button kissing, mentions and focus on his happy trail, he’s ticklish oops, blowjob, premature ejaculation, pussy drunk chan forgets how to speak, desperate sex babbling, finger fucking, hand and cock guiding, cream pie

Chan has a dilemma, and yes, it’s one that most men would scoff at.

Trust him when he says that he is so very aware of what is happening around him but he simply cannot manage to muster up the courage, strength, or confidence to admit to you, his lovely and patient girlfriend, that he’s dodging your advances solely because he is the text-book definition of virgin.

He is not only nervous about having sex for the first time, but there also comes the weight of him either not being good enough when he tries, or you laughing in his face and mocking him for it.

You, on the other hand, wouldn’t be so fucking in your head if he really could just muster up a tiny amount of confidence to say that to you.

It has been almost two months now since he asked you to be his girlfriend, and throughout this time never once has he done more than a gentle kiss to your lips or lying a slight guiding hand to your waist. It feels so… juvenile, so… middle school for a boyfriend to treat you this way.

Seeing as how the first three dates you went on with him seemed to suggest he was more than willing to be a fulfilling boyfriend who can, hopefully, fill all of the roles that comes with the title– you’re starting to second guess that he ever liked you at all.

Perhaps the twenty-four year old man asked you that night to be his girlfriend out of pity. Or maybe he’s simply changed his mind about you. Regardless of the reason for why he acts like this, it’s getting to you.

Deeply, actually, by this point. It only stung a bit at first, but now it’s starting to feel like he has to be with you as a joke. Why else would he be consistent in wanting to hang out? Why else would he always be inviting you out on well-priced dates and buying you pretty gifts?

It’s a joke.

It has to be a joke.

Oh, but that’s so far from the truth. If you would simply open your eyes, perhaps you’d notice the struggle that your polite little boyfriend goes through each time you try to suggest he make an advance on you.

Even the slight kisses, it makes him suffer from embarrassment at how quickly his body reacts to you.

He likes you so, so fucking much.

“I don’t think I’m feeling it today.” You respond to the muffled voice of your “boyfriend” on the phone, asking if he can come over to see you.

“What? Why not?” He asks back, his voice concerned.

“Do you want me to be honest?” You finally say with a long and annoyed sigh, giving up on any hope that this relationship will ever go any further than it already has.

You’re fed up with feeling unwanted, undesired, and possibly even uninteresting. He’s the one person in your life that you care about when it comes to who you are and what you look like. His reaction, or lack thereof, regarding you as both a person and his girlfriend feels astonishing and does nothing more than make you question what it is that you’re doing wrong.

It has to be you, right? Perhaps your body isn’t as pretty as he wants it to be, is that it? Or maybe your voice annoys him? God, what if he cringes thinking of how you’d move if he were to actually have sex with you? What if he doesn’t think about it at all?

You pinch the bridge of your nose, trying not to let the intense insecurity weigh on you. You always promised yourself that you’d never let a man make you rethink your worth.

You need to live up to that promise.

“Chan, it’s been nice and all, but I think we should break up.”

The silence he offers to you is entirely too loud, and feels more like a confirmation in your head that this is the exact choice you should be making right now.

He’s thrown for a loop though, standing at his kitchen table staring off at the wall as you say those words.

What did he do wrong?

“Wha–” He cuts himself off, trying to find words to say. “What’s wrong? Did I do something?”

You let out another breathy sigh, annoyed at the way he plays dumb.

“I’m shocked you’re asking me that. I’ve been wondering if you were ever going to break up with me yourself, y’know?” You let out a sad little chuckle before you feel that insecurity he instilled in you burn against your eyes. “I’m just making it easy for you, so that you can go and spend your time with someone that you’d rather be around.”

He pauses, still dumbfounded by what you’re saying.

“Why are you saying that?” He bellows out in a deeper tone, making you feel as though he’s angry with you now. “I’d rather be around you.”

“Oh? Is that right?” You roll your eyes now, annoyed. “Is that why you push me away when I try to kiss you? Or what about– what about when you left the party last week after I sat on your lap?”

Ah. He knew it. He knew he should have admitted it. Despite his consistent apologies for his body acting on instinct to run away from you, he should have really tried to see from your point of view rather than his own. Even if he only ran to hide the fact that he is horribly aroused by you at all times, in every given moment.

You can hear a pained groan fall from his lips, and a door opening on his end.

“I’m coming over.”

He doesn’t let you protest, and instead hangs up the phone. You sit there in silence at his rejection of your break up. As if it were his choice? As if he had any say in it? You want to break up, that’s final.

Still, that doesn’t explain why you don’t call him back to tell him not to come. It also doesn’t explain why your heart is thumping against your chest in anticipation.

Or, maybe there is something to explain why you’re feeling butterflies over his blatant refusal. Perhaps, this is the first time you’ve felt wanted by him?

That also makes it worse. Why should your boyfriend make you feel this way only when you’re breaking up with him? Why can you only see that he cares when he’s faced with the idea of losing you? By the way he’s acting, you can argue that he wouldn’t be losing anything precious to him if you were to walk out of his life right this moment.

Still, you sit here in wait. More curious now to see if maybe you'll figure out why he refuses to look at or touch you in a way that would show you he wants you.

The first thing Chan does when he steps through the door of your apartment is slip his shoes off. The second thing he does is stand there awkwardly, as if every thought left his head upon seeing your face.

You look like you’ve been crying.

“This is my fault.” He says with a slight crack in his voice. “Because I keep hiding from you….right?”

You nod silently, remaining on your couch that faces his timid and stiffened figure.

He stares at you, examining the consequences of his own actions.

“You want to break up because I haven’t tried to, like, do things with you.” He winces as he says it, struggling to not feel awkward talking about having sex. He’s embarrassed, but would be even more embarrassed if he lost a girlfriend over this.

“That’s not the only reason.” You shake your head, looking away from him and to your hands as you pick at your nail beds. “I’d be okay with no sex if you’d simply tell me why. The fact that you haven’t told me anything–” Your voice cracks a little bit, feeling stupid for being so emotional over such a short lived relationship. “It kind of destroyed my confidence.”

He watches the way you refuse eye contact, which is something that stabs him directly in the stomach. He can feel it drop to the floor, adrenaline making its way into that empty space you’re creating for him.

“Before we break up, I just want to know why it took this for you to act like you genuinely might have feelings for me.”

He stumbles over his thoughts the same way he stumbles over his feet trying to approach you.

By now, he doesn’t think he can ever feel more embarrassed than he does at this moment. He crouches down in front of you, sad that you didn’t laugh at the way he nearly knocked himself out on your living room floor. Then he looks at you, chasing your line of sight as if to reassure you through nothing but the air in the room.

“I was afraid you’d laugh at me.” He starts, and after seeing that your expression doesn’t change even a little bit, he continues. “You seemed so into me that I–” He takes a deep breath, willing himself to be as honest as he can be. “I just didn’t know how to act.”

You look at him with irritation at those words.

“Of course I was fucking into you. Why else would I have agreed to be your girlfriend?” You roll your eyes, pushing yourself back into the couch cushions and away from his crouched body. “Think about how I feel. The fact that you just watch me throw myself at you time and time again? The fact that you rejected me every single time? How is that not giving you the answers you need as to why I’m breaking up with you?”

He takes note of that heightened voice of yours, defensive and likely more hurt than you’re letting on.

“Listen–” He breathes in, trying to internally hype himself up to bite the bullet.

You were listening, but he’s keeping whatever it is he’s thinking about in his head for just a second too long.

“No, I think we’re done h-”

“I’m a virgin.” He interrupts you, lowering his gaze to the floor and refusing eye contact with you.

Your eyes shoot to him though. The last thing you would have expected was for him to be a–

“You’re–” You try to repeat his words for confirmation, but he interrupts you again.

“I can promise you it’s not because I don’t want to do these things with you.” He says, still staring at the floor. “It’s because I was afraid that you’d lose interest over it.”

Your mouth falls open as you look at him, every feeling of frustration in your body disappearing almost immediately.

“It’s because I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to, like, be any good at it.” He continues to admit. “I was trying to work up the courage to tell you, or to just like, do it.” He rambles, now scooting back and standing up to his feet. “And if you still want to break up, I understand. I just thought I at least owed you an explanation.”

You watch as he nods to himself in an unsure way, turns on his heel, and heads back to the door to slip his shoes back on.

You sit in stunned silence as your brain erases every single insecurity you gained over this month and a half relationship before jumping to your feet. If anyone could have been more insecure about this than you were, it was him. And now that you can see that, the guilt hits you twice as hard as the presumed break up would have.

“You’re a virgin?” You ask, though that wasn’t at all the words you intended to say. “I mean, you kept pushing me away because you didn’t want to disappoint me?”

He nods timidly, halting his body and still refusing to look at you.

He has one shoe on, and his other foot half in the other when you make your way over to him, closing the distance quickly and confidently.

“Don’t leave.” You say first, before physically moving his body for him to remove that foot from his half-on shoe. “Chan, I’m your girlfriend. We can wait for as long as you need, I just...”

You pause, now feeling annoyed with yourself for making it about you. Then again, it’s not like you could read his mind. Though, thinking back to all of those instances where he pulled away from you before, perhaps you could have read context clues a little better.

“I didn’t know–” You trail off, now determined to save the relationship that both of you accidentally started to sink. “Did I make you feel like you couldn’t tell me?”

He feels…relieved by your words. Saying you could wait, asking what it is that made him so afraid to admit it.

Finally, he presses one foot against his other, pulling his foot out of his shoe and stepping back, looking at you with eyes fonder than you’ve ever seen them.

“It’s not that I felt I couldn’t tell you. I was just embarrassed.”

You very nearly coo out at him, but you keep your distance with both your words and your body now.

“It’s not that I’m not ready to lose it. Especially with you.” He admits, glancing at you for a reaction before sighing. “I think I’ve been ready for a long time, again, I was just embarrassed and also knew that I should probably tell you at some point…”

“You want to give your virginity to me?”

You watch as he blows his hair up through puckered lips, rolling his eyes before smiling at you.

“It’s not that I view virginity as sacred or anything either. There’s just a lot of weight that people tend to put on it, and I wasn’t sure how you’d react.” He tries to explain as his body relaxes by the minute. “I wanted you to be my first time, yeah. When I asked you to be my girlfriend, I knew I wanted you to be the one to show me what all the hype is about.”

You’d laugh if it weren’t for the fact that this is still kind of a touchy subject. You’re not entirely sure how you feel about being someone’s first time, but you know you have feelings for him and to deny him of sex after you blatantly wanted it so bad from him…Okay, maybe you’re just in your head. Of course you’d be happy to be his first time.

Ecstatic even.

“So….” You sway on your feet, looking up at the ceiling before landing your eyes on him playfully. “It’s not because you think I’m disgusting or like, not living up to the standards you want for a girlfriend?”

“Jesus, no.” He says.

You watch him scratch the back of his head, still probably embarrassed by how low this relationship had fallen due to the awful communication skills.

“And you’re also kind of admitting that you have thought about it?” You continue, prying out the words you’ve wanted to hear so badly since you met him.

He pulls back only a little bit, his cheeks warming at the words and the way his brain automatically thrusts him into the thoughts of all of those nights where he absolutely fucking thought about it.

“Y-yeah. Yes. I have thought about it.” He nods in a self-reassuring way as his eyes land on everything in the room but you.

You’re quick to give him your own reassurance though, trying to learn his boundary now that the secret is out and the relationship appears to have a second chance at succeeding.

He can feel you close in on him, wrapping your arms around his middle and nuzzling your face against his neck. There, he holds you back, breathing in deep and feeling the scent of you wash through his body.

Quite literally actually. As he would normally avoid, his lower half reacts far too quickly to even the simplest of touches from you.

He pulls back on instinct, but you don’t release your grip this time.

“You seem as ready as ever, I’ll admit.” You laugh upon feeling him stiffen against you, but you really do try not to shame him for it. “Still, we can wait until you feel ready enough to give it a shot, okay?”

He nods, entirely reassured by the way you don’t press up against it or comment any further about the happenings in his pants right now. Then he sighs out.

“I can imagine I must look like an idiot right now, getting hard over a fucking hug.” He finally says as he pulls from the hug and makes his way back to your living room. “But we’re okay, right? You’re not breaking up with me?”

You follow after him, keeping your sexual distance, but absolutely indulging in the loving, sweet, and careful cuddling you’ve wanted to do with him for so long now.

He appears comfortable when you tuck yourself under his arm and rest your head on his chest before answering him.

“I’m not breaking up with you,” You say, feeling his chest heave with each breath and intentionally ignoring the blatant tent in his pants slowly fall back into its flaccid position as he calms down. “It’s kinda cute, you know? That you were so worried about it.”

His cheeks are still on fire, willing his body to calm itself through this sweet session of cuddling. He doesn’t want to ruin the moment with you, and still, it is embarrassing in the way he knows you’re ignoring it for his sake too.

But goddamn, how heavenly it would be for you to like, touch it right now…..or something.

“Never thought of it as cute, if I’m being honest.” He tries to joke. “If anything, maybe it's a little pathetic on my part.”

You shake your head against him, feeling more confident of your place in his life.

“Pathetic? Don’t be mean to yourself. Besides, it’s kind of hot knowing that you got so turned on over a simple hug.” You laugh, hoping you’re not crossing a boundary. “No wonder you ran so fast when I sat on your lap, I definitely would have felt that on me.”

“Alright, alright–” He tries to hush you of your playful remarks, but ultimately, if you really think it’s an attractive aspect of whatever sexual dynamic the two of you will come to have, he’s going to make damn sure you see just how fucking turned on you make him.

Things are good. Great even, now that you can pin point each moment your boyfriend gets a little too overwhelmed with you. He does still push you away, probably out of instinct but he doesn’t shy away nearly as much from intimate moments with you. Especially if the two of you are alone together.

You’re a bit more careful in public or with friends though, because the last thing you want to do is make him feel insecure about it. Still, there are playful moments where you indulge in the act of touching him or kissing him just to get him excited, just to watch him stutter his way through ordering something.

The point is, you almost ended a relationship with someone who, arguably, makes you feel more wanted than you ever knew you could. It’s nice, and it feels good.

Even now, this is only your second full on make-out session with him, you feel absolutely adored. It’s cute in the way he’s trying to train himself to not get hard at even the simplest of touches, it’s even cuter when his efforts fail miserably and he’s arching his body away from you as if he could even hide what he’s packing.

You don’t push for more, despite wanting it badly. He also doesn’t push…despite also wanting it just as much as you do, if not more. He still seems to need a push of confidence to actually go any further than a nice, non-body touching makeout session.

This is fine though, and you indulge far more than you ever knew you would when it comes to this kind of thing. As if simply licking into his mouth is foreplay enough to counter a fucking blowjob for him.

Never in your life did you think you’d be this into the fact that your boyfriend is a virgin. And it’s not even that he’s never had sex, it’s that he seems to want it so bad, and there’s just something about a man who is desperate that gets you going these days.

Still, kissing him is something that fulfills you, especially with the way he’s avoiding his lower half and keeping it away from you.

He kisses you back in a telling way though, more telling than that tent in his sweatpants that you can visualize even while your eyes are closed. He radiates the arousal through the way he moves his lips against yours, and the way he lets out little suffering sounds when you kiss him harder and harder.

His hands stay against your face, neck, and sometimes your waist, but god. His kissing is genuinely just so good with the way it tells on him every few seconds.

And when he pulls back, he’s out of breath, flushed, and looking as if he would want nothing more than for you to hint, to lay down some sort of implication that he can cling to for relief from the heaviness that’s been in his pants since the fucking relationship started.

You wonder if tonight is the night, because he doesn’t appear to want to stop making out like he did last time. If anything, as he looks at you with those heaving breaths, you can tell he’s thinking harder than he ever has about it.

“Chan,” You whisper out to him, just inches from his face. “Do you think of me?”

When he keeps his eyes on you, seemingly stunned by your question, you continue.

“Do you think of me after you leave? When you’re all by yourself in your room–” You turn your head so that your eyes can trail to the space he is attempting to keep from you. “When you’re touching yourself?”

He feels the words run straight through him, causing an utterly pathetic twitch in his pants. The way your voice comes out soft and sensual as you ask him, as you look at him. He doesn’t even remember words at this moment, not even a simple “yes”.

He tries to answer by losing a little bit of his self control, turning your head back to him with his palm just so he can chase against your lips out of the sheer arousal, but you pull away.

“Do you?” You continue, encouraging him to answer you.

“So much,” He wills himself to whisper confidently, ignoring the fact that his body just forced him to rut up and against nothing, all for you to see. “Every time I leave,” He puts emphasis on his words. “Sometimes I can’t even make it home first.”

You smile at the image of him rubbing against himself in his car, so desperate to relieve himself of what you do to him each time he comes to see you. Not even making it out of the seatbelt before releasing all over himself, all in his pants. Shaking, panting, all alone and without you.

“Cute,” You chuckle, finally turning your head slightly and landing a pop kiss on him. “I think of you when I do it too, every time you leave.”

He looks at you, willing his hips to stay put as he thinks about the image of you doing that in this very room, to images and thoughts of him.

“You do?” He asks for reassurance easily.

“Mhm,” You look away from him as you sit straight up and then scoot down the bed. There, you lay yourself down against your pillows and look at him. “Come here.”

He’s reluctant to take your hand. But even he can admit that this side by side makeout session is starting to hurt his neck, and you’re clearly asking him to get on top of you right now.

“You don’t have to but, Chan–” You say, looking down, “I don’t want you to leave this time.”

Well, shit, all you had to do was say that. Honestly, the way you look at him with pure acceptance is enough to push him past the wall in his head that keeps him from finally trying to take the next step. You accept him as he is now, surely you’d accept him if he…. doesn’t last, right? What about if he isn’t good at it?

Still, he finds himself planting one hand on the other side of your head to balance himself on top of you. Still just hovering, not yet wanting or willing to, you know, put it against you.

You smile.

“It’s okay, I can tell you’re nervous. We don’t have to do anything else, I’m happy with just this.”

And then you both fall back into another, much more comfortable and natural feeling, makeout session.

As much as you’d love for him to try and take control, his reluctance allows you to contain yourself. It allows you to respect him and his decision of whether or not he wants to do anything more than this. Still, this satisfies you. And if he really does stay, maybe he wouldn’t be entirely against watching you take care of your own arousal for him. Maybe he’d feel better watching even, taking notes on what you like, learning where to touch you.

And you know, that really would have been okay but you can’t help but feel like he’s definitely wanting more. With the way his lips grow hungrier rather than more tired, with the way he’s starting to moan shamelessly into your mouth, with the way his hands are trying to travel to more intimate places on your body before stopping himself.

You might be pushing it with the assumption, but it doesn’t hurt to try and help him, right?

When you feel his hands moving to your waist, up, up, and up until they’re just barely brushing against the underside of your breast, he pulls back again and pulls your shirt down to cover the exposed skin, all while kissing you harder.

You place your hand over his, wasting not even a second as you guide him back under your shirt, right up to where you know he wants to touch.

And holy fuck does he. He doesn’t even pull back when you lay it against the warm and exposed flesh from under your shirt. His hand immediately starts groping. His lips immediately stutter against you in a relieved sigh from him, and all you can do is kiss him now with the same energy he seems to have in that one single hand.

“You’re allowed to touch me, but if you need help doing it, just tell me–” You pull back to whisper, trying to take it another step further in the act of kissing against his jaw and down his neck. “I want to touch you too, but I’ll keep my hands to myself unless you tell me otherwise.”

It’s like he really forgets how to talk or give proper consent when his entire body is acting like a fucking greenlight for you right now. He feels so pathetic, on the verge of orgasm with nothing more than the soft fabric of his sweatpants to relieve him, and yet your breast in his hand, nipple hardening under his palm before he musters the courage to put it between his fingers, it’s a lot to take in, okay?

Still, he tries to say something, and he’s even more embarrassed by the way his voice sounds like it isn’t even his own. He sounds broken when the sound reaches his ears.

“Don’t–” He starts, cutting himself off at the feeling of your lips kissing against the pulse point of his neck.

“Hm?” You ask, pulling back and away, hoping you didn’t press too much.

“Don’t stop.” He mutters out again, a little less embarrassed now that he feels you sigh against that same pulse point with the way his fingers fondle your nipple mindlessly. “Don’t keep your hands to yourself.”

Your brain falls into a stunned silence at his words, bringing a type of nervousness to bubble up in your own body. Is this really it? Is this when it’s going to happen? On a saturday night, against your pillows, muffled cartoons playing in the background…..past ten in the evening?

You can’t help it as you kiss against his neck. You really can’t, with the way he opens himself up to be vulnerable with you while actively being on top of you, while playing with your breasts, while containing himself.

He seems to need you to do the pushing, but you really cannot shake the nervousness of being his first. You’re almost certain he is nervous about so many things, but still he appears to be eager to try. He’s eager to be with you, and, ultimately, to know what it feels like to be with another person that matters to him in that way.

“Is there–” You stop, breath caught in your throat, only to fall out against his throat when he finally seems to have the confidence to make his first move. One that would seem so small to anyone else, but he– he raises a hand and holds the back of your neck, trying to press your lips and guide them to the area of his neck that he wants you to kiss.

And you do, with blatant encouragement to him for doing that, all while trying to finish your previous thought.

“Is there anything you want me to do for you?” You ask, kissing and now, licking against the spot on his neck that makes him shiver.

He sighs in a shudder, craning his neck to expose more skin for you before his hand stills against your nipple and he pulls his hand from your shirt.

“All of it?” He starts, a bit unsure of himself. “Everything?” He adds, pulling himself back from your lips and watching you fall back to your pillows. He leans his body up, relieving his legs from his weight and sitting on his heels in front of you, only slightly between your legs now.

You can see that he has a bit more confidence with the way he’s looking at you.

“I want to try all of it.” He continues, placing two hands on your knees, pushing your legs together and using his palms to make them sway left and right. It’s as if he’s thinking hard. “I mean, if you want to.”

You smile.

You want nothing more than to do this with him, for him, and for yourself.

“Yeah?” You ask for confirmation, now lifting yourself and re-positioning yourself onto your knees to mimic his own stance.

He nods in a blatant and shy way, knowing that you can physically see how badly he wants this, and how badly he wants you to be the one to do this with him. He’s achingly hard, and he isn’t sure if he’s ever managed to get this fucking hard in his entire life.

It really is painfully arousing, with the way his pants stretch against the head when he’s sitting like this. The way the fabric offers little to no sensation but while looking at you, he feels all fucked up and warm. He tries to forget that there’s precum all over him, seeping through the pants that are presented before you, and god, the way you look right at it.

He doesn’t shy away despite being as shy as he could possibly be right now. In fact, when your eyes trail back up to him, licking your lips before smiling, he a fucking goner. He knew he wanted you bad, but never did he know he needed you this badly.

He’s so fucking lucky.

“It looks… big.” You comment, leaning forward only slightly and sizing your boyfriend up. “But for your sake, I’ll try to control myself from moving too fast. I’ll go slow, okay?”

He doesn’t even nod, he’s too entranced with you in front of him, fully clothed, lifting his own shirt off of him as if he is incapable of doing it himself. Then again, he kind of is incapable at this moment. He swears his IQ must’ve dropped to a single digit by this point.

And when that shirt comes up and over his head, you note that he doesn’t even blink. That small moment where his face was obscured as you pulled it off of him? His eyes stayed on you both before and after, only now– his hair is a total fucking mess and all you can do is feel endeared by it.

“God, you’re so fucking attractive,” You groan in sexual frustration with an eyeroll. “I can’t believe someone hasn’t jumped your bones yet.”

Now he breaks eye contact at the praise, glancing away from you and trying his hardest not to smile like an idiot at those words.

“To be fair, I’ve fucked up my fair share of relationships being embarrassed.” He laughs. “Kinda glad I did though.”

You land your eyes back on him, staring blankly at his naked chest and trying your damnedest not to look at him like he’s some piece of meat. But goddamn, the body of this man.

“Come here, switch places with me.” You smile, reaching forward and trying not to think too hard about the way his arms flex when you grip them to move him. “Here, lay back.”

And within seconds, you’re between his legs and looking down at his half-lidded, arousal driven eyes.

“Fuck, really?” You groan again, glancing away. “It’s really taking everything in me, Chan, it really is.”

His heart is doing flips as he stares up at you. He feels doted on, adored, attractive. So he encourages more of those annoyed praises from you.

“Taking everything in you to…?”

You chuckle, because the audacity of this drunk and in love fool.

“Do you have any idea how badly I’ve wanted to be in this exact position?” You smile, reaching down to run your fingers down his chest and straight to that happy trail that he so readily hid from you. “It’s taking everything in me to slow down–”

“Then don’t.” He says proudly, albeit still a bit shy at your words.

You can see how red his ears are, only partially hidden by that head of messy ass hair. His stupid pretty eyes and gentle smile are directed straight at you without any type of reluctance.

“There’s my confident boyfriend.” You chuckle, toying with the hair beneath his belly button and trying to not comment on the way his body jumps a bit at the feeling. “Was wondering where he went after he asked me to be his girlfriend.”

And he remains silent after that, watching the way you take the reins and lean down to kiss against that same spot of his neck. Warm breath fanning over the skin before attaching yourself there.

Surely you can feel the way his hips react, humping up at each flutter of your lips. If you couldn’t, he knows for a fact that you’ll be able to now. With the way you trail down, across his own sensitive nipples, and then down, down, down.

He glances down at you at the same time when you glance up at him and right then and there he thinks he melts. He’s never seen a woman look at him from this angle, and it’s only a little bit detrimental to his heavy and pathetic cock. The twitching never stops, he feels so fucking sticky in his pants and it really just doesn’t stop. Continuous leaking, and he really had no idea that there could even be this much pre-cum.

Then, he’s pulled out of his thoughts with….a tickle?

“Oh?” You smile, leaning down to repeat that lick up his happy trail before landing a kiss straight on his belly button.

His body jumps again, and he lets out a moaned chucked unintentionally.

“Oh.” You smile wider, gripping both of his hips with your hands and holding him down in a playful way. Repeating the act once again.

Your suspicions are confirmed with a third jump of his body, and another chuckled, frustrated moan.

“So, he’s ticklish too?” You say with another kiss against his belly button before fluttering your fingers at the side of his hips.

His entire body goes rigid before melting against the bed in an attempt to not react to the way you take advantage of a hidden weakness he had. God, he should have known that…like, sex stuff could be ticklish.

“No– I’m not.” He lies, jolting again when you continue to test the resilience he thinks he has against your lips and fingers. “Hey–!”

And, well, you would’ve stopped if it weren’t for the fact that his hips raise with each tickled sensation, and you can genuinely feel how damp and heavy he is in his pants. It’s entirely arousing in the way its weight is obvious through his attempts to wiggle from your ticklish touches.

“Alright,” You finally relent, landing one final kiss to his belly before licking down that same line of hair he offers his body. “Chan, I want to–”

His hips immediately raise to your words, the wetness from your tongue feels like ice against his skin when the air hits it and at this point, he thinks he knows what you’re suggesting.

“Please–” He nearly cries out in a stutter. “Touch it.”

You smile as you nuzzle your nose against his abdomen before giving him a short nod that you know he doesn’t see. Considering, well, he just threw his arm over his face and keeps his hips tensed, and his ass only slightly lifted off of the bed.

Desperate. Willing.

You prepare yourself for seeing it for the first time by not seeing it at all just yet. Instead, you kiss down until your lips are met with warm, damp fabric. Immediately you can feel his length twitch under your lips when you reach it, and all you can manage to do is flatten your tongue out and against it to feel it pulse again.

And again, until that same arm thrown over his face reaches down in a desperate attempt to take the pants off for you. He’s the one losing his self control now, no embarrassment or nervousness in sight from him, and it’s so fucking attractive to see him do it.

His shaking fingers fumbling with the waistband, shoving the pants down just an inch or so more to reveal more of that trimmed hair.

You don’t comment on the way he’s acting out of fear that it’ll make him feel shamed or even mocked, despite you truly believing it might just be the hottest thing you’ve ever seen a man do in front of you.

Instead, you help him. Sinking your own fingers beneath his pants and tugging them down all in one go before allowing your eyes to land on it.

“Jesus fucking christ.” He moans out, the air alone offering an overwhelming amount of sensation due to the temperature change he now feels between his legs.

You finally look at it, so dark in color. As if all of the blood in his body resides only here. You gently move your hand just over it, feeling the heat radiate from him, seeing the precum continuously dribble from the head, and then, finally–

“You’re so….” You trail off, in awe of the way his body just….keeps reacting. So much pre-cum. “Hard.”

He releases a broken little sound at the feeling of your fingers finally touch him, and it feels insanely different from when he touches it himself. As if he’s not in control of his pleasure, and it’s all just you. You are the one who feels good against him.

You’re shocked briefly when his hand makes it’s way back down to yours, grabbing it and essentially trying to get you to stimulate him more. He puts so much pressure against your hand, sandwiching it between his own palm and stiffened cock.

You’re tuly in awe. This man has essentially edged himself to a world record, surely.

“Slow down,” You try to soothe him, moving your hand against him and watching him retract his hand. “Relax, It must feel good, right?”

That little sob he lets out shows you his frustration. So needy, so ready. And even with you moving your fingers to circle his pulsing length, his hips continuously fuck up, not allowing him to have even a moment without a forceful amount of stimulation.

“So good,” He moans, entire brain focused on what your hand is doing and unable to open his eyes. “I want it so bad.”

You don’t think he hears you chuckle and you’re thankful he doesn’t. You can imagine he would genuinely be embarrassed to know you’re witnessing his pure blissed-out and aroused-state of mind right now.

And it’s not shocking that he’s entirely focused on himself at this moment, because he’s the one experiencing this for the first time. Even if you find it hard to believe that another woman has never touched his dick, you’re entirely flattered that it very well may be the case and that he wanted you to be the one to make him feel this good.

“I’ll give it to you, just relax. I’m not going to stop.” You reassure his needy movements, and the way his body squirms at the slightest of touches. “What feels good?”

God, he’s so frustrated.

“All of it.” He groans shortly, trying to take in a deep breath and just relax like you asked him too.

You nod to his closed eyes and slacked mouth, fighting against his hips to be the one to pleasure him rather than himself and only when you blow a gentle breath against the head of his cock do his hips still and he shoots his hands up to your pillows, gripping them as if he’s preparing for something.

You watch intently at the way he’s actively fighting to move now, waiting impatiently for you to do something now. Licking his lips, chewing on his bottom lip– god, he’s so pretty up there.

Then, you grant him a new sensation. Only because by this point you’re the one who is about to lose control.

You stick out your tongue and lick all the way from his balls to the head of his cock, making sure to keep pressure against it so that you can taste all of the arousal he’s spilled up until now. And while you were going to pull back to examine his reaction, this is the part where you release your self control.

The taste alone was enough to have you moaning, vibrating your voice against the vein of his length and then circling your lips around the head.

Instantly, you suck at the feeling of pre-cum still pouring out of him. This time, there seems to be more. Coating your tongue with an almost sweetened salty taste.

You feel briefly the way his hips chase the new warmth, clearly wanting to tuck itself into your mouth and quite possibly, down your throat, but you pull back and blow once again against the head.

His entire body shivers as you glance up at him.

You can barely comprehend just how into you he looks right now before rolling your own eyes in arousal at the image before immediately giving him everything your mouth has to offer.

Who cares if he comes too fast? Fucking look at him. You’d be stupid not to suck the absolute life out of him! That’s your boyfriend up there, chewing on his bottom lip, eyes sparkling through hooded lids, chest heaving–

And god, you almost wish he wasn’t as big as he is because it’s difficult to keep your eyes open when you take it in. You have to focus on sliding it through your lips, against your tongue, and right up to the back of your throat where the head of his cock bumps.

He can feel the way your fingers grip his legs through it, and by this point he has gone entirely non-verbal at the feeling.

The only sound he can make comes from deep within his chest, and he can only release those sounds with heaved out and rigid breaths. His heart is pumping faster and faster the deeper you managed to take him, and–

“Ah! W-wait!” He panics, sitting straight up and becoming fucking floored at the way you stay on him. Moving your hands to his stomach and trying to shove him back. “Fuck,” He seethes as he takes in a sharp inhale, legs shaking as he flops back against the pillows. “Fuck, i’m sorry.” He continues to murmur, feeling himself hit the wall of orgasm and practically pulverize it.

And you, oh, you. You taste it. You feel the twitching and the way his muscles stiffen under your fingers. You can hear him muttering apologies as it spills into your mouth, down your throat, and even out of the corners of your lips.

You try to take all of it, up until you can’t fucking breathe, and only then do you pull up and replace your mouth with your hand, watching in awe at the way he just……

It doesn’t fucking stop.

He went from rigid to stammering his words, to now blatantly and full-on moaning through both the pleasure and frustration of losing the warmth of your mouth.

“God, Chan….” You whisper in a raspy voice, slowing your hands and intentionally pumping it out of him by now.

“I’m sorry–” He stammers, body still shaking as you pull the rest of it out of him. “I tried to,” He winces with another unintentional moan. “I didn’t think it would feel that good.”

You smile both proudly and fondly, watching him stumble through his words and whatever excuse he tries to come up with.

“I don’t think you know how hot you look right now.” You finally say, in a more stern voice. “You couldn’t have stopped me if you wanted to.”

Only now, when he’s absolutely drenched himself in his release does he open his eyes in a drowsy way. He looks at you and that little smile on your lips and decides that, yeah, he can believe you. He trusts you, and he’s entirely obsessed with you.

“But we still haven’t–”

You cut him off quickly.

“We have all night. All day tomorrow. All week, month, year. I don’t care.” You dead-pan, reaching for his, somehow, still hard length. “Chan.” You add, gripping it and testing the actual hardness of it. “You’re still hard, which is fucking amazing by the way, and you have no idea how wet I am right now.”

Oh, my god. He forgot.

“You– you’re turned on?” He asks, looking away from you.

“So fucking turned on.” You confirm for him, now releasing his length to give him a bit of a rest, considering he must not realize he’s still shaking. “Look, feel.”

You say it as you crawl up and on top of him, seating yourself right up against his abdomen and grabbing his hand.

He just stares, watching you guide his hand straight to the seat of your shorts.

“Oh.” He sighs out.

“Even through my shorts. See? Feel it.” You continue to move his hand against you, trying not to rut your own hips up much like he was doing before.

Brain malfunction. He doesn’t even have a fucking IQ at this point as his cock immediately reacts in all of it’s sensitive, pathetic glory.

“Do you want me to, um,” He swallows around a breath he didn’t know he needed. “touch you? Can I try?”

You sigh, relieved that he’s willing and immediately push yourself off of him and take care of all of the busy-work as quickly as possible. ie: taking off your clothes.

Unfortunately, you somehow briefly forgot that the man is still a fucking virgin. You can very nearly see his mouth fall open at your nude body being revealed to him. Even more so, you can see the dribble of saliva that he doesn’t quite catch fast enough, and his cock reacts.

“You’re so cute, god.” You praise with the same compliment you’ve been giving him all night.

And when you seat yourself next to him, hugging one of his arms and tucking it between your legs before closing your thighs around it, you smile at him and the way he literally cannot stop staring with his mouth agape.

“Babe, you’re drooling.” You chuckle, shifting your hips a bit to rub yourself against his knuckles, where you’re still hugging his arm.

Only then does he slurp up his embarrassment and try to remain calm. His fogged brain comes back to him quickly upon your comments as he wills himself to sit up beside you.

He gets to….touch you.

And boy does he.

Eagerly, messily, and quite frankly, kind of embarrassingly.

You make it easier for him though, laughing as you flop back and spread your legs for him. He’s quick to simply…explore. He’s not aiming for any singular area of your pussy because to be quite honest, he’s still struggling to stop staring at the entirety of you.

You watch his eyes, the way they stare at your tits, then your thighs, your pussy being petted by his fingertips, and then– eye contact.

He seems so sure of himself despite still managing to barely touch the clit. It doesn’t bother you one bit, because his eager fingers still find ways to touch you beautifully. There’s so much intent behind the messy movements.

Slipping and sliding two fingers between your lips, up your folds, and then stopping just short of your clit before sliding back down and feeling where his cock would go if he manages to make it this far.

I mean, surely he will, right? He’s losing his virginity as he does this right now, even. Foreplay still counts, right?

And then, after several minutes of him exploring, learning, and practically teasing you half to death, you reach down to guide him.

“Right here,” You soothe out in a soft voice, pressing his fingers against your clit and seeing him take note of it. “And here.” You trail his fingers down until they reach your clenched hole, and you very slightly press against his fingers so that the tips just barely enter you.

He tilts his head at you, concentrating on where you lead him before releasing his hand and essentially leaving him to his own devices now.

And you know, he did tell you he was a quick learner, because almost immediately he’s experimenting with putting a finger into you, and using his other hand to find a rhythm to rub against your clit.

The whole time, he checks for your reaction, noting when your breathing hitches and when your body tenses. He continues, trying to only do things that make your body react and soon, you’re already turning to mush beneath him.

His fingers circle and tap your clit at a quick pace, with the other twisted inside of you. When he slides his finger out, and then back in, he rubs your clit harder, and god, yeah. Okay. You see his effort, and it’s such a good fucking effort too.

“Feels good,” You finally moan out for him, allowing yourself to give in to the pure arousal of the entire situation taking place. Thinking hard about what it would feel like to have such a desperate cock inside of you. “Use two fingers?”

He listens instantly, moaning along with you when he slides the other in with the next thrust. His fingers against your clit trail down shortly after, curiosity getting the best of him when he spreads your lips open to see you stretch around his fingers.

“It’s so warm–” He comments more to himself than to you, watching the way you pulse around him, watching the way your slick seeps out of you. It’s so hot for him to see it up close like this, and his pace slows at the image before him. “Can you take more than two?”

You lift your head in amazement at how he could ask such a thing.

“Chan.” You smile at the way he jumps in surprise at your sudden, louder voice. Fingers nearly slipping out of you. “I can take way more than just two fingers.” You glance down between his legs. “Way, way more.”

He glances down to what you’re looking at before letting out an embarrassed sob.

“You’re really going to let me?” He nearly whines in excitement.

You nod, reaching for him and pulling him to you by his shoulders. You land a kiss against his lips, trying not to shake at the way his fingers angle different inside of you as he moves to chase your lips.

“Mhm,” You soothe against his lips, intentionally scooting your hips down to your best ability to sink his fingers into you more. “Move your fingers– it feels good like this.”

He listens, feeling you throw your arms around his neck and cling to him through it, all while moaning and groaning right up against his lips. You’re not even kissing him, you’re just….acting like this and it’s fucking great.

He thought he would be the only one to be desperate in this situation, yet here you are, clinging to him as he works his fingers in you.

“When?” He finally asks upon noting the way you start to move your hips against his fingers.

You peek your eyes open and pull back to look at him.

“Now? Do you want to do it now?”

He nods, slipping his fingers out of you and inspecting how wet they’ve become.

“Can I?”

You finally fall back, leaning against your elbows and spreading your legs wide in front of him. Lending him a nod, you watch the way he just freezes after the fact.

All you can do is laugh at this moment with the way he loses any ability to remember how sex works.

Then again, you wonder if he ever even watched porn, considering how he’s acting and couldn’t manage to find the clit.

“Do you want me to be on top?” You question, blinking up at him and his blank expression.

He shakes his head at you, still frozen in his spot before his eyes slowly make their way down to the glistening sheen against your pussy.

“Don’t we like, need a condom or something? I can’t promise I’ll be able to pull out.” He asks, finally glancing away. “I don’t know if I can last as long as you want me to….”

And with that, all you do is lunge forward, grab your boyfriend by the cock, and pull him to you.

He laughs, you laugh, and then it’s silent when he leans over you, feeling his length lay against your core, already feeling spent but so, so ready to give himself to you.

“I’m on birth control. You don’t need to pull out.” You smile evilly, wiggling your hips and watching the way he closes his eyes tightly as if to regain his composure of those words.

“I’m seriously in love with you.” He mutters, pushing his hips forward and letting his length slide through the mess he made of you.

You smile, feeling that by this point, your face may actually be stuck like this permanently, and lift your head to kiss against his lips once more.

“You’re ready?” You ask quietly, against his lips. “I can help you adjust to where it needs to be. After that, I want you to do what feels best for you, okay?”

He nods timidly, taking in a deep and nervous breath before feeling your hand guide his length to the opening.

“Go on, slide in it.” You encourage him.

And he does.

Slowly at first, gently, until he feels your wet hot walls envelop the head of his cock in full, clenching, pulling him in.

His arms shake from either side of your head as he balances himself there, and it doesn’t take long for him to drop his head against your shoulder in deeper breaths than he was taking before.

The sensation is so much, it’s no wonder people like to have sex. It’s so good, you feel so, so good around him. He can’t help it when he slides in deeper, not stopping until he’s releasing a wet moan against your shoulder and holding onto you as if his life depends on it.

He thought that once he got it all the way in, it would get easier. But it doesn’t. Even as the two of you are unmoving, with your hands in his hair and soothing him through it, you still clench him. Your pussy still stimulates it without either of you doing a damn thing.

You on the other hand, won’t admit to struggling through that one, long and languid thrust inside of you. It felt as if he was splitting you open despite how wet you already were, and still are. The heaviness, the consistent twitching, all of it stretches you out more than you even knew you’d need and god, it feels so good to have him just hold onto you like, to have him adjust to the feeling.

He’s no longer a virgin, and that’s not even what matters right now.

What matters is the way he continuously nuzzles his nose against you, snaking his head to your neck and moaning consistently against your ear when he manages to finally move.

He pulls out only a little bit before his hips stutter at the sensitivity, then he pushes back in.

In and out, in and out, until–

“Fuck.” He moans, lifting suddenly from your neck, sitting up, staring directly at where his cock sits inside of you, and he just… lets go.

Knuckles white against the grip of your waist, he powers through the sensitivity, he fucks through it. Fast, with no real rhythm or ability to realize just how deep he’s pushing himself into you, and then….

He’s done for.

“That’s it,” You encourage him through half moans at the feeling, your swollen clit begging for a little bit of attention too. “Shit, Chan, that’s it.” You continue, losing yourself in his reaction to you.

He only moves faster, his hips only stutter more, and thank fuck he already came once because he wouldn’t have made it a solid inch into you before coming undone if he hadn’t. Now though? He’s pleasantly surprised to be lasting even this long.

Until he’s not, of course.

And there, between your legs, he presses in as far as he can reach and loses his breath.

Eyes rolling back, eyebrows furrowing, mouth agape, a deep moan rumbles from his chest as his shiver flows through his body at the first release inside of you.

You immediately shoot your hands to your clit, feeling it pump inside of you much like it did in your mouth. Already so much, you feel entirely full, and entirely ready if he can manage to keep coming for as long as he did before.

You fingers assault the swollen nub so fast, working yourself up much like you would during a quick session of masturbation, not wanting him to miss out on what it feels like to have a girl come on him–

It hits you faster than you can realize.

Even when he buckles and falls back to your chest out of breath, you can’t even tell him that it’s happening.

Thankfully, he doesn’t move just yet. Well, until he feels your pussy clench him tigher than before. In a rhythmic way, almost.

Only barely can he lift his head to watch you, and that’s when he notes that you’re holding your breath.

You pussy is pulsing, and then–

“Are you?” He questions, experimenting with the idea of trying to thrust into you as he asks.

There’s the breath you’d been holding.

“Yes!” You call out, both to answer his question and to appreciate that little thrust he gave you.

Even if his cock is slowly becoming flaccid, you’re still full, and he can still feel the orgasm wash over you.

He’s silent through it, wincing at his hyper-sensitive cock and very nearly cursing it out for not having waited just a minute longer to release– then, you’re hugging him.

Tightly. So tightly, you’re holding onto him and breathing into his hair. He can barely breathe himself with this hold you have on him. Still, he doesn’t fight it, he simply lets you.

Letting you cling, letting the last jolting pulses of your core push the rest of him out of you. There, he manages to lift from your weakening grasp and throw himself beside you.

Out of breath, sweating, a total mess, he looks at you like he truly will never be able to love another person the way he does right now.

And it falls silent for a long while before you roll over, throwing both an arm and leg over him.

“Man,” You sigh out. “How does it feel?” You ask this time, opening your eyes to playfully look at him.

“Huh? What?” He asks, quirking a brow.

“You know, now that you’re not a virgin anymore. How does it feel?”

He thinks hard for like two seconds before taking in a deep breath and smothering himself against the top of your head.

“Like I’m in love with you, maybe.”

And you know, given that this relationship is barely even considered one in the eyes of most people. You don’t think you care.

“Because I made you feel good, or because you want to let me make you feel good for like…” You pause, lifting your head to look him in the eye. “the rest of your life?”

He doesn’t even have to think twice.

“The second reason.”

“You’re such a simp, Chan, really.” You joke, skewing your head fondly to look at him. “But I think it’s worth a shot.”

Chapter two: LOSER. [wonwoo] ― coming soon!

series m.list

#lee chan smut #seventeen smut #hon <3 #i feel insane #i want you to know that i just finished reading this and there's nothing in my skull #it's all just liquid #this is the hottest fic you've ever written to me i think. i think it tops the one where mingyu subs for the first time holy shit #sorry for not remembering the name I'm going through it right now 💀#i think i understand how and why people masturbate to fanfics #because the urge hit me like a train many times throughout this #i think this is joining my hall of fame of fics from you and it's arguably my new favourite dino fic #i really like the way you approached reader making sure he was cool and comfortable with everyone god my EMOTIONS hon #the way he was so reactive jesus christ help me i do love a sensitive man #reader feeling the impulse to put her mouth on him wow she's just like me fr #honestly this is basically just me lmao #dino nearly having a stroke anytime reader did anything is my kind of man actually #it was equal parts hot and endearing #love that we all think this man has a girthy dick but like consider that i am fragile you know?#honestly you made him last longer than i thought he would #but god i do love a man who is just so into you that he loses any and all composure #nah see i get why you didn't write for him before this #you simply would've been too powerful amd destroyed too many lives (read: my life)#you can never write for dino again thanks /j #.....honestly this might be my new favourite fic of yours I'm not even joking #i will have to evaluate once i am less insane but honestly this might be top 3 for me #you've done it again #sorry for being a deranged mess in the tags but good lord this was so hot and well-written hon my god #q: painting with hyunjin #oh also i want you to know those reactions are only a fraction of how i feel #AND i know wonwoo's chapter is going to ruin my life as well :D

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novthirty · 28 days ago

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🐦‍⬛ OUT OF BOUNDS — you get isekai-d into the n109 zone [chapter three]

synopsis — the monotony of your university days is interrupted by a stroke of misfortune, one which lands you in the world of love and deepspace, the game you had been casually playing for the previous months. with no way to return home, sylus offers you the job of being his personal secretary. — a continuation of the one-shot “out of bounds”

pairing — sylus x non-mc! reader

tags — reader is not mc, isekai/transmigration, fluff, angst, mutual pining, slice of life, boss/employee relationship, slow burn

a/n — can i finish this fic by sylus’s birthday? i genuinely don’t know… 😭 but i’m finally on break so i’ll try my best in the next few days! anywho, we’ve finally caught up to where the one shot ended so get ready for the angst 😋

ao3 | masterlist | requests are open! series masterlist | part two | part four [coming soon]

chapter three: countdown— the night softens people in ways that can only be done in the haze of darkness, revealing a vulnerability too fragile for the harsh rays of the sun. you know this could be more, you know this could be everything. but the clock ticks down to what you know is inevitable. wc: 7.9k

A constant chill sweeps through the streets of the N109 Zone, creeping into the compound as you exchange flowy shirts and iced tea for thick sweaters and hot cocoa. It’s on one of these nights just past the first snowfall, towards the end of November, when he finds you in the kitchen minutes after midnight. Sitting alone, lighting a candle atop a puny cupcake.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?” His voice rumbles through the kitchen, startling you and breaking your focus. The lighter slips from your grasp, falling and smudging the frosting. Well, shit. You didn’t exactly prepare a backup.

“Uhm,” You stare guiltily at him like a deer caught in the headlights. There was no way you were getting out of this one, were you? Not when he’s standing with his arms crossed, disappointed, like a parent who’s caught their child red-handed.

He pinches the bridge of his nose in quiet frustration, “Please. Please. Do not tell me that today is what I think it is.”

“Surprise?”

“Surprise? Is that all you have to say for yourself?” His eye twitches. Even on your own birthday, you don’t fail to surprise him at every turn. Here you are, having thrown such lovely and thought-out celebrations for everyone’s birthdays, settling for a cupcake and a lonely celebration on yours. “Why on earth would you decide to keep this information from me?”

“Well, it’s just a birthday. I didn't feel the need to have a lot of celebration this year." The answer is nowhere enough to appease him, judging by his stern gaze.

You knew this world had a lot to offer; you had barely explored the criminal underbelly that was the N109 Zone, barely stepped into the shining beacon that was Linkon city. You were sure there was more than enough to fill in the gaps of your bucket list. But nothing could match the reckless but youthful adventure of getting lost with life-long friends. Nothing could live up to the warmth and solace of being surrounded by family, as you blow the candles on another year.

You try to keep it all buried under the surface– but with a sigh, you decide to cut open old wounds and bare a little more of your heart to him, “There was more to be sad about than to be happy, I guess. I had so many plans, so many people that I—“ You cut yourself off. Those heart strings were too fragile to be tugged at. “Well, now it’s all kind of gone to shit, huh?” You laugh bitterly.

Without missing a beat, Sylus asks, “And what were those plans?”

You reminisce on your old life, splitting the deformed cupcake with him as you recount plans that will never be. It hurts less than you expected it to, to breathe these lost wishes into existence for someone else to hear.

He listens intently, chiming in with similar experiences or places that he’s seen in this world– frankly, it reminds you of when your elders used to go on about their wisdom and their golden years. “Your age is showing, grandpa,” You tease him, and he lightly glares at you. You take the opportunity to ruffle his hair, “Your hair’s already silver, too.”

Eventually, your lunch break comes to an end, and you bid him goodbye as he returns to his office. You sigh as you clean up and throw away the candle you never even got to light. Oh well. There’s always next year.

Later that day you wake up in the afternoon, ready to start your shift— only to be greeted by streamers and balloons lining your path downstairs. “Happy birthday!” The whole house cheers as you enter the living room, decked out in all sorts of party favors. Even Sylus— the most notoriously unfestive man you’ve ever met— is wearing a cone shaped party hat striped with your favorite colors.

What follows is an impromptu day-off for everyone in the compound. (You feel an oncoming migraine thinking of how you’re going to readjust Sylus’s schedule, but that’s a job for future you.) They bring you to Linkon City, driving past the welcome sign as the sunset casts a pink glow over the horizon. It’s your first time visiting for leisure, your previous excursions into the city being solely for Onychinus business.

Sitting beside you at the wheel, Sylus participates in the idle chatter, but inwardly he feels ashamed. He's upset that you kept the date to yourself for so long; but more than that, he’s angry at himself for never having bothered to ask. So, in the final hours of your birthday, he does his best to make up for it.

The four of you drive around the city with Mephisto following from the skies, visiting various spots that were eerily similar to the ones you had described mere hours ago to Sylus. The itinerary matches your original plans to a T, as he drags you to every activity you had desired to partake in, lavishing you with all sorts of presents on the way.

Your last stop is a shopping center, to which you groan, already knowing the fate that awaits you. Sylus is the type to spend more than he needs to as a statement. He insists that you wait for him in the plaza, no doubt going off to the most luxurious store in the mall looking for a hefty price tag. You sit by the fountain, deserted due to the late hour, dangling your feet as you wait for him to return.

You gasp as a cold pair of hands suddenly covers your eyes. “Keep still, sweetheart,” He whispers in your ear, shocking you out of your bored reverie. You keep your eyes forward as he pulls your hair aside, breath hitching as he clasps a necklace around your neck, the cold metal brushing against your skin. It's a thin chain, with a gem of your favorite color set in an intricate frame. You don’t know much about jewelry or gems, but you can’t comprehend how much this must have cost. The way it sparkles and glints under the light makes it clear that it must have cost a fortune.

“Sylus, I can't accept this…” You turn around to face him. Just as when he took you shopping before the auction, it’s far too much. You’re not used to being spoiled, not used to treating yourself without deserving it first, and you tell him as much.

He tips your chin upwards with a feather-light touch, his gaze unreadable as he asks, “And who says my lovely secretary doesn’t deserve the world at her feet?”

The atmosphere shifts, the effortless ease at which you interact with him dissipating into stutters and heated stares. This tension follows you as you reunite with Luke and Kieran, the two having gone their separate ways to buy you their own present— a new set of knitting needles, and a mug with the words “World’s Best Secretary” that they’ve decorated to hell and back with rhinestones in your favorite colors.

The four of you spend the rest of the evening dining in a fancy restaurant, bypassing the queue with Sylus’s name alone. It’s a strictly no-work evening, as you bicker with the twins and coo at Mephisto (You have since learned he cannot digest food. It’s a shame, and you’ve been pestering Sylus to add it as his next upgrade.) You turn to him, casually silent throughout it all. All throughout the night you’ve been hyper aware of his heat pressed against your side, his thigh brushing against yours, even as he seems unaffected himself. He raises an eyebrow upon catching your gaze, “Are you enjoying yourself?”

You nod; a true, content smile on your face. It's not exactly the birthday you envisioned for yourself this year; the absence of your friends and loved ones still acts as a wide, gaping hole in your heart. But nonetheless, you now have a newfound family to spend your special day with— and that’s more than you could have ever expected.

When the cake is brought out— a fancy, two-tiered thing in your favorite color— you make a wish. It’s not about your wistful longing to go home. It’s not about your hopeless desire to wake up from this strange dream. It’s a wish for all your moments to be like this— heart full, and with family by your side.

After dinner, Luke and Kieran have to leave for a mission they couldn’t get out of. “Happy birthday,” They each greet you again with a hug and a disappointed goodbye, “Sorry we can’t continue the celebration back home.” You wave off their worries— there’s always more fun to be had once they come back.

“Boys, take the car,” Sylus tosses over the keys, “I'll be taking Treasure out for a spin. She’s been getting a little dusty, lately.”

The twins glance at each other with a knowing look, subtly looking towards you with a hint of mischief, “Oh, gotcha boss.” They lightly snicker as you two walk them to the parking lot.

“What's so funny?” You narrow your eyes, knowing very well by now that that look means nothing but trouble.

“Nothing to worry about, Ms. Secretary… Nothing to worry about. We’ll see you tomorrow,” Luke grins before rolling up the driver’s window.

About half an hour later, you deeply regret not listening to your instincts as you scream your head off, clung to Sylus's back like a koala as he goes faster than you thought was technologically possible. ”What the fuck— Sylus, slow down!” Your shout fades into a shriek, your screams of terror echoing throughout the empty road as he leans the motor til’ your knees are brushing against the pavement, a shit-eating grin on his face behind the visor of his helmet.

“Her name’s Treasure,” He said, pulling out the beast of a motorcycle from his Linkon safe house, introducing it to you as one of his most prized possessions. You don’t know what you were expecting when he tossed over a helmet and told you to hold tight, but you certainly didn’t expect to have a near-death experience on the day of your birth. He continues to rev up the engine, a hellish speed that shortens a fifteen minute trip out of Linkon to a mere three minutes.

You cling on for dear life, your whole body wound tightly in fear, and eventually he settles into a safer speed, adrenaline fading and allowing you to enjoy the night breeze. “Let’s take a little detour, hm?” You barely hear him over the rumble of the engine, making a turn just past the Linkon City welcome sign and to the opposite direction of the N109 Zone. He drives through the wilderness and the winding roads, bringing you to a rocky cliff side.

You gasp at the sight before you, taking off your helmet to admire it in all its glory. You could see the entirety of Linkon from here, a circuit board of lights and neon colors, casting a dim glow over the city skyline. It's rare to find a clear sky in the winter, giving way to the full moon and the sea of stars.

“Can we take a picture?” You ask hesitantly, fully expecting him to say no.

He nods, “You should have memories of your birthday.” Your jaw drops. There are only a handful of photos of him on record– he rarely ever lets anyone take a picture of him, out of caution on his identity being leaked.

As the one with the longer arms, you gesture for him to take the picture, posing for a selfie with the skyline in the background. But as he hands you the phone, genuinely satisfied with the photo after taking a look– you think, is he messing with you? The photo is blurry, the both of you a little bit out of frame, and his finger blocks the corner of the image.

You laugh in confusion; you genuinely cannot tell whether this is a prank or not. “Let’s take another one, I'll do it this time.”

You don’t know how long you two stay there, with your head laid against his shoulder, a quiet peace settling over you two as you talk about anything and everything. On the ride home, you find yourself flushing despite the winter chill. It’s a comfortable silence, yet your heart is thumping loudly against your chest. Does he hear how he makes you feel? You wonder as your eyes meet in the side mirrors, turning and burrowing your cheek into his warm shoulders. The journey home feels like an adventure coming to a close, street lights blinking against the night sky and quiet rumble of the few cars on the highway at this hour.

Before he retires to his bedroom, you place a soft kiss against his cheek. “Thank you for today.” You whisper before shutting the door behind you.

From then on, the air between you two shifts, becoming significantly more… tense. What were once casual interactions turn meaningful with every brush of your fingers, with every meeting of your eyes across the room. He's always lavished you with the sweetest of pet names; dear, darling, sweet girl. You assume it’s just how he is, given what you had seen of him from the game. But why does it make your heart race every time he refers to you with such terms of endearment? Why does it fuel your delusions of having something more?

—————————————————————

But of course, no matter how much the dynamic shifts and bends between the two of you, it doesn’t change the fact that with winter chill comes holiday tunes and festivities. You were absolutely appalled at their lack of holiday spirit in the previous years, “How can you run an organization like this?!” So, on the week before Christmas, you once again strong-arm Sylus into having your festive way at the Onychinus base.

It begins with you dragging your boss out to the nearest Christmas tree farm. “You’re rich enough to afford a real one,” You decide definitively. He rolls his eyes but drives you there anyway.

You two spend an hour walking through the farm with mugs of hot cocoa, eventually settling on a tree that you have to lug all the way back to base. You huff as you carry the other end of the cart, your breath coming out in clouds of condensed air ever since you two brought it out of the truck. You wheeze in exhaustion, “Are you even lifting?” You helplessly ask Sylus, who looks too nonchalant considering the literal tree you two were carrying.

“Oh? My bad,” Is all he says before swooping in with his evol, red tendrils wrapping around the trunk to carry it the rest of the way. You hold in the urge to scream and cuss at him. This man just loves to test your patience.

Each night on the week before Christmas goes similarly. The moment your work is done for the day, you drag the whole house into some sort of festive activity. Decorating the compound, baking a gingerbread house, making eggnog. Holiday tunes fill the Onychinus base 24/7 and for once, Sylus finds that he doesn’t mind. Not when he sees the way you dance to yourself when you think no one’s looking, the way you know the words by heart and hum them under your breath. But he doesn’t participate much, mostly checking in and making sardonic yet supportive comments before returning to his work.

One evening, he decides to bring his work to the living room while you’re setting up the tree. It was a great source of entertainment to see you struggle on your toes placing the ornaments, hoisting yourself up on whatever nearby surface was available to you. But even he found it a bit too pitiful to watch you struggle to place the star, too vertically challenged to place the finishing touch. Couldn’t you just get a ladder? “Let me help you,” His breath tickles your ear as he grabs your waist, lifting you up with one arm.

You squeal, gripping to him tightly and kicking at the air beneath you, “Sylus, what the fuck! Put me down!”

“Place the star, darling. While I'm still being nice." In the end, you call it a team effort, despite his only contribution being his role as a human ladder.

—————————————————————

Your mood has been nothing but jovial the whole week of Christmas, caught up in nothing but festivities in anticipation of the holiday. And so, it disturbs him when the eve of the 25th arrives and you’re downtrodden. A shell of your typical self. He's never seen you like this before— absentminded and listless, it takes you a whole minute to realize he’s calling your name for the grand Christmas dinner you had insisted upon. “I'm fine, just a bit sleepy,” you explain as he voices his worries. He doesn’t believe you, not one bit, judging by the way his eyes continue to follow you through the rest of the night.

You open presents with everyone at midnight, gathered around the fireplace with the whole Onychinus family. This time, you knitted Sylus a scarf; he wraps it around himself immediately, already knowing it’ll be a staple in his closet for the winter months to come. He looks to his right and sees Mephisto with a matching, tiny version around his neck.

Meanwhile, you were overwhelmed upon unwrapping the large present addressed to you and finding a high-grade coffee machine, one of the fancy ones with a latte art feature. How did he know? You narrow your eyes at him across the room, a satisfied smirk twisting his face. You’ve never said anything about it, only looked at the ads and the site out of boredom and curiosity. (Simple answer: He had Mephisto spy on you when you were scrolling your phone.)

You smile and thank everyone at the right cues, but he can tell your heart’s not in it. Physically, you celebrate and have your childish fun with the twins, dancing to merry tunes and having all-out warfare with the crumpled wrapping paper littering the floor. But mentally, you were far away— your eyes speaking of a grief none of them could begin to comprehend. Once the cookies are nothing but crumbs and the wrapping paper is all cleaned up, he decides to take you to the rooftop to ask what’s wrong.

“Come on, let’s get some fresh air,” He invites you, donning his coat and boots.

You throw him a skeptical look, “In this frigid temperature? Are you insane? I'm already shivering here inside,” You fake-shiver dramatically just to prove your point.

“Well then, isn’t it fortunate you just received a plethora of winter clothes for the holiday?” He gestures to the pile of fancy, designer items you had folded on top of the coffee machine’s box. You’ve long since learned to pick your battles with this man– and it is simply not worth it anymore to argue with how he spends his money.

“Well-played,” You begrudgingly acquiesce, following him up to the rooftop where you sniffle from the cold air biting at your nose.

You’ve spent countless nights here in the warmer months, the only place where you could pretend the N109 Zone wasn’t the bloody death trap it truly was, shining under the glow of the moonlight and the stars littering the sky. Only from the top– from an untouchable position of power– could this wretched, dangerous city look so beautiful.

“What's on your mind?“ Sylus asks, breaking the peaceful quiet. “You haven’t been yourself all evening.” It faintly reminds you of those nights in spring, wind brushing against your cheeks as you slowly began to let down the barriers of your heart, the terror of slumber softened by the comfort of company. A lot has changed since then, you think. But at the same time, there’s a lot that hasn’t.

“I—“ You hesitate, planning on brushing it off like you always do. But then you realize: you trust Sylus, more than anyone else in this world.

And so, you decide to bare your heart to the only person who holds enough of it to break it.

It's a bittersweet Christmas for you, the first you’ve ever spent away from home. For the first time since you were whisked away to this surreal world, you speak of your original life. Your family. Your friends. Your dreams. A fragile boundary that you haven’t touched with anyone here, for it hurts too much to speak of what you left behind. (No, not left behind. Taken away from you.)

You try to string sentences together, try to give justice to the people who brought meaning to your life, to the reckless and stressful and beautiful joy of your old world— but how do you capture all that you’ve lost in mere words? It's too much. You feel your chest cave under the weight of these emotions, far too heavy for one heart to handle. “I miss them so much,” Your voice cracks, small tears streaming down your cheeks— but he offers you a quiet grace and says nothing of it. It’s such a painfully simple sentence to express the torrent that devastates you— and yet, he understands.

The night softens people in ways that can only be done in the haze of darkness, revealing a vulnerability too fragile for the harsh rays of the sun. And thus, it is here beneath snowfall and starry skies, where he sheds his claws and his barriers, telling you of his search for the other half of his soul. He speaks of a similar homesickness, finding kinship with you through loss, as he’s waited what seems like a millennia for the person he calls his home. You already know, of course, that sooner or later he will meet her again. It was inevitable, written into the cards as it was written into code. This world was once your favorite game, and you had shed tears at their loss, at their cursed fate. You stay silent, listening to the tragic tale from the man himself.

His eyes speak of so many more untold truths— of love hidden deep in the crevices of his heart, taking root in his chest for the past millennia and shaping the man he’s become. “I had never known love until I found her.” He speaks of her with such fondness sparkling in his eyes, an adoration reserved for his one and only— his sorceress, his soulmate. It makes you hurt for this man, for the trials he’s endured in the name of true love. But it is also a bitter reminder that you have no place by his side.

Although you stay by his side and offer him words of comfort, deep inside you also want to claw at him. Force his eyes on you so you can feel even a smidgen of that pure adoration for yourself. But you can only feel bitter guilt taking root inside you. After all, who are you to meddle in their tale? Who are you to rival fate itself?

It is winter solstice now, a period marked by a perpetual chill and the longest nights of the year. Your relationship with Sylus is one that has prospered in darkness; taking root in the midnight hours, your most tender and vulnerable moments allowed only under the cover of the night sky. But inevitably it will be overshadowed by the return of summer and with it, his soulmate— the woman who brought sunshine to his darkest days.

—————————————————————

On New Year’s Eve, he doesn’t even give you the chance to feel homesick. The moment the sun rises, he takes you on a joyride to Linkon City. It’s rare for you to see Sylus in the daylight; shrouded in sunshine rather than moonlight, surrounded by crowds rather than deserted streets. “I go here every year,” He boasts as he leads you to the temple fair, determined to make your first New Year’s Eve here memorable.

“Oh?” You’re rather surprised, given that he doesn’t exactly have a penchant for celebrating the holidays. But you smile, walking forward to match his stride, “Well then, I'll trust you to lead the way!”

He takes you around the fair— buying from the various food stalls he says are the best, watching the street performances he’s probably seen countless times before, doing all the festive gimmicks he knows you’ll love, even if it isn’t his cup of tea. He keeps you occupied, making sure you don’t even have a moment to feel sad.

At the front of the temple, you ask him to take a picture of you in front of the pretty backdrop. You pose for a few pictures, guided by his direction until he hands you the phone, “Tell me if you want me to take another.”

What greets you is the blurriest, most unflattering photo of you to exist in both your old and current world. You scroll through the rest of the pictures only to find they all hold the same level of (or rather, lack of) quality. You stare blankly at the screen and sigh, “This is good enough for me.” Everyone has their weaknesses, you suppose.

Although Sylus mentioned that he’s a regular here, you’re still quite surprised to see his words ring true when all of the vendors greet him warmly, recognizing him from years past. “Let the lady choose one! It’s on the house,” A vendor selling fortune bracelets tells him, overjoyed that he finally brought someone along. You scan the numerous pieces on display, your eyes landing on a small beaded bracelet— the tag marking its fortune for “a safe return home.”

Sylus gracefully does not comment on this as the vendor packs the bracelet, bidding you two a jovial goodbye.

The two of you sightsee for a while before finding yourself sitting across from each other at a caricature portrait booth, directed by the artist to, “Look into each other’s eyes! I’ll make sure to capture the lovely couple you are.” Neither of you step in to correct him. But the artist’s light mood quickly fades as he soon realizes the type of client he’s dealing with. “Miss, please stop moving,” He says for the millionth time, absolutely fed up with your silly behavior.

You cannot stop your smile from trembling, your eyes locked on Sylus’s as the two of you went head-to-head in a staring contest– which you promptly lost five seconds in by bursting into giggles. You’re about to keel over, cheeks puffed up from poorly restrained laughter. Meanwhile, Sylus is comically straight-faced, amusedly raising an eyebrow at your antics, “What's so funny? Is there something on my face?”

Afterwards, he stakes his claim on the portrait, “It’s only right, considering what a hard time you gave the artist,” He reasons, snatching the paper from your hands.

You slump and walk past him, grumbling, “I'd like to see him try to stay serious with your ridiculous face.”

But behind you, you don’t see how his eyes are locked on the sight of you captured in charcoal and ink, genuine glee transforming your face. You’ve never looked so beautiful, he thinks. Falling into a fit of uncontrollable giggles, shoulders momentarily free of the burden of all you’ve lost. He carefully stows the paper away, making a mental note to tip the artist extra.

When night falls over the city, he brings you to the tallest building in Linkon for the best view of the fireworks show. Despite the chilly air, his hand is warm in yours, clutching it in a tight grip as he wades through the crowd of people who had the same idea. Fortunately, you find a secluded corner where the two of you sit and sip your milk tea, talking about your new year’s resolutions.

“I don't do resolutions,” He waved a hand, unimpressed. “If I want to change an aspect of my life, I won't wait until the start of a new year to do so.”

“Boo, you’re no fun,” You stick your tongue out at him. He rolls his eyes, but he’s internally pleased with how well he’s distracted you thus far. “My resolutions are always the same. Exercise more, eat healthy, and save money!”

“Dear, there is a private gym back home that you haven’t touched even once,” Your heart flutters at the word home. A word that brings you melancholy on most days, but now fills your heart with domestic bliss.

“Well then, it’s perfect! I'll have no excuse not to start tomorrow.”

He shakes his head in fond exasperation. Your eyes are glued to the magnificent colors soaring through the sky, legs bouncing in time with the countdown. But unbeknownst to you, his gaze is entirely on you.

The world he lives in is a cruel and violent one, where people’s eyes sparkle with greed, envy, and lust. A part of him doesn’t understand how something as superficial as fireworks can bring people such joy, how holidays inspire a brief kindness in their hearts, as if it’ll make up for their sins the rest of the year. But maybe he can understand it, just a little bit now, he thinks. Because if it means seeing this look in your eyes again, so childlike and enchanted by the sight before you (the first time he’s seen happiness override the grief shadowing your eyes), then he would light the sky every night, just for you.

When the clock strikes midnight, you jump to give him a big bear hug. “Happy new year, Sylus!”

He cradles you in his arms, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead, “Happy new year.”

—————————————————————

Even the high-paced criminal world of the N109 Zone slows down on New Year’s Day, people burrowing in their homes to ward off the early January chill sweeping through the city. Work inside the Onychinus compound pauses as the world comes to a frosted standstill, and you spend a lazy morning with Sylus under fuzzy blankets and the warmth of the fireplace.

You don’t know how you ended up in this position. You’d gone straight to bed after returning from Linkon– a mere hour of slumber until you woke up breathless, heart racing from the shadows conjured by your own mind. You crept downstairs, hoping to find solace in the company of others. Of course, Sylus is still awake. “Can’t sleep?” He turns down the volume of the boxing match on the television, so you can settle in peacefully at his side. You stare listlessly at the violent match on the screen, listening to his peaceful humming, until you fall back asleep.

But come morning, you’ve woken up with your legs tangled in his. Wrapped in each other’s arms, his chest rises and falls against yours, your head tucked under his chin as his breath lands right against your ear.

It’s the first time you’ve seen Sylus in a deep slumber. You’ve fallen asleep countless times in his company, often waking up in your bedroom, carried back by him at some point while you were unconscious. Your heart flutters at the trust he’s shown you, but it also aches. It confuses you more as to where you stand. You know his heart still belongs to the hunter— there’s no doubt about it, with the grief that filled his eyes at the mention of her name, as he told you of the tragedy that befell them.

But at the same time, you’ve toed the fragile boundaries of your relationship far too much for you to be called just friends. In moments like these, a part of you foolishly believes that maybe you could occupy his heart, take things further without restraint. But neither of you take a step towards confronting it, just living in this in-between of not just friends, not just coworkers, but not lovers in any sense.

You breathe in his scent and painstakingly pull yourself away, trying your best not to disturb him. You can no longer deny how much you want this, how much you want him. You yearn to wake up everyday pressed against his warmth, arms wrapped around each other with distance being non-existent. But a larger part of you, the one with a sense of self-preservation, also knows this won’t lead to anywhere good. And so, you slip away in the early hours of the morning and decide never to speak of it again. Instead, you ponder over your place in his life— and how long it’ll be yours.

—————————————————————

Almost a year has passed since your arrival, and you’ve grown more accustomed to the harsh edges of your new job. It’s not exactly what you had envisioned for yourself. You had once hoped to start somewhere more in line with your aspiring career, somewhere you could make use of your degree. But as you’ve learned, plans don’t always work out. What you do is unorthodox, but it’s fulfilling and allows you to live in this dangerous world from a safe vantage point, almost like dipping your toes into a ten feet pool.

That doesn’t mean you’re completely sheltered from all the dangers of the job, however. Given the type of clientele you handle, more often than not, you’re faced with threats of being maimed over the phone when you can’t give somebody what they want. Each time, Sylus promptly takes over and matches their energy twicefold with a more heinous, yet very real threat.

The worst days are post-missions, when you have to witness your newfound family return bloody and bruised in the name of defending Onychinus. Anxiety fills your mind on the days of their missions, and you become conditioned to waiting with a first aid kit and a change of clothes for Luke and Kieran, patching up their wounds as soon as they step through the front door. But Sylus— you’d think he was invincible, with how he returns from even the most high-risk operations without a scratch.

That is, until one night when he walks through the front door, leaving a bloody trail in his wake. His evol is working overtime to knit his skin back together, but the blood still pools beneath him on the marble tile.

It's early January, almost a year since your arrival into this world. But you vividly remember the injuries that plagued you those first months, and the struggle to take care of yourself— washing your hair with a broken shoulder, eating your food with a fractured wrist. Most of all, you remember the loneliness of your hospital room. How you secretly sought his company; because despite your fear, his visits were better than the loud silence that filled your days.

Sylus has been in this business for decades, has probably been injured like this far too many times to count. You think to yourself— how often has he had to go to sleep caked in blood, far too tired to care for himself? How many times has he faced the aching loneliness after a mission gone wrong?

So, you resolve to stick by him despite his insistence that he can handle it. You know his injuries will only linger for another day at most, but still, you survey him with a keen eye, spotting the flinch of his shoulders when he tries to reach for the painkillers on his shelf. You clock the injury even if he hasn’t mentioned the pain– and it leads to you sitting by the edge of the tub, washing his hair for him.

“I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself,” He shrugs you off, his words less biting than he intended under the influence of his medication, “This is nothing new to me.”

“I know very well how capable you are, but it doesn’t mean you have to take care of yourself alone.” You pester him some more, and he begrudgingly hands you his shampoo. You squeeze out a dollop and gently run the foam through his hair, thoroughly covering every spot. You hold back a giggle; he looks like a tamed lion, eyes shut in bliss as you massage the sides of his head.

When he comes out of the bathroom, robed and bandaged, he’s just about ready to knock out. You stay by his side through the night as he recovers, listening to hitched breaths and deluded murmurs about a time long past. The whisper of an ever-so-familiar name. The analog clock ticks every second, and it only solidifies the knowledge that your time by his side is limited. Things have been going far too well; but soon enough, your world will be upended again.

You grip his hand in yours throughout the night. But it’s not your hand to hold.

—————————————————————

The prophecy fulfills itself on the tenth day of January, marking a year since you first entered this world. The whole base knows exactly what day it is, and you feel them handling you with more care, treating you like a bomb about to detonate. It bothers you. It’s not as if you’re made out of glass (even if you feel you’re about to shatter at any moment). On your break, you decide to leave for the rooftop for a brief reprieve.

When you return, the phone rings, and it’s as if god has chosen to send a punchline your way.

You wish you didn’t answer the phone. You wish you didn’t speak to the business associate who held the information Sylus was apparently desperate for. You wish you didn’t have to inform him of the cryptic news. You wish you weren’t there in the office when an underling comes to deploy the intel. Because it only confirmed what you knew all along was coming: a hunter with a protocore in her heart.

Her picture is projected in a hologram, and somehow, you automatically know it’s her. It’s uncanny, how alike the two of you look. From the corner of your eye, you even see Sylus do a double-take as the image fully renders. Maybe if the situation was different, you would’ve wondered at the physics of it all. Maybe you would have been more hungry to understand the science behind how you ended up here, to understand the connection between you and the hunter. But your curiosity has been overshadowed by heartbreak.

You know what’s coming. You know the end of your time here is nearing. The past year has lulled you into a false sense of security, one you desperately tried to believe in— but you can’t. You’re no longer the glass half-full kind of person you once were. Life chewed you up and spat you out to fend for yourself in this new world, and you know your hopes will only get crushed. Because seeing the longing and disbelief in his eyes, as he comes to terms with his lover being within reach; it only cements the fact that you have no chance. Never had a chance.

(Already, you can feel a love that was never yours slipping from your grasp.)

You feel the change in the air the next few days, and you’re suffocated by it. You find yourself growing lonelier; this compound never seemed so large and empty before. Luke and Kieran become busier than ever, collecting information on the hunter while going about their usual responsibilities. Even Mephisto is out on the field, with the new task of following (or rather, stalking) his new target.

Sylus has sent the headquarters into a frenzy for this woman— but you? He has you go about as usual. No extra responsibilities, like he wants you to remain untouched by the business of his past love. (It’s far too late for that.) Rather, it seems he’s actively seeking you out. On days where he isn’t spent with the task of balancing his search with his regular Onychinus duties, he seems to gravitate towards you, looking for any excuse to be in your company.

But you? You try desperately to avoid him. You sneak around him like a mouse in a cat’s territory, stepping around glass and limiting your interactions to work, treating him with an amicable professionalism. It's like a cold glass of water has been poured over him. Even when you two were no better than strangers, you had never treated him so clinically. You can tell he’s hurt and confused by your behavior, but you shove down the guilt— because this is what you need to do to protect your heart.

At some point, he eventually manages to catch you, pulling you aside with the ominous words no one wants to hear, “Dear, I think we should talk.”

Your eyes well up in tears but you try your best to blink it away. It’s one thing to know, another to be confronted by it. The knowledge that what you have can’t continue is already ruining you, and you think you might break if he voices into existence. “What's there to talk about? What you’ve always wanted is almost in your hands.”

Sylus flinches at the total defeat in your voice. He can feel that you’re putting up boundaries with him— ones that he should’ve held in place, with how his heart is already taken by another. But little by little you crept into his life, into his heart, carving your place in it. And now, he doesn’t know what to do with the pain of you closing yourself off from him.

But like always, you smile and try to soften the blow, “It’s okay, Sylus. I'm happy for you. I mean it,” You lie through your teeth. Despite how much pain this forced happiness inflicts on you, you will never have it in you to purposefully hurt him.

—————————————————————

Over the span of a year, you had become one of Sylus's closest confidants. He treats you with all the gentleness and care in the world, revealing to you softer sides of him— ones that you knew existed in the game, and ones that you discovered for yourself. You feel honored that he trusts you with these facets of himself, but you also feel a tremendous guilt.

Because what Sylus doesn’t know is that he was your favorite. Facing burnout in your final year of university, you began to cope with a game suggested to you, becoming engrossed with one of its newest characters. He'd drawn you to him with his soft treatment of the main character, juxtaposed with his violent nature and line of work. Your heart had fluttered at every tender moment, each call and text message, each appearance in the main story. You had passingly indulged in the delusions of romance with a fictional man, a small part of your day to cope with the struggles of your reality.

When you landed in this world, there was a cognitive dissonance as you came to terms with the difference between the 2D character that lived on your phone screen and the living, breathing person in front of you. For a long time, you were too focused on your new situation to even think of the implications of your fictional crush being in close, real proximity. He hadn’t trusted you, either. You could feel his suspicion in each interaction, as he contemplated what to make of you.

At the time, you thought that by now, surely you would have woken up from this coma-induced hallucination already. Surely you would have woken back up in your reality. But as you grew to accept that the situation you’re in is as real as the blood that runs through your veins, came to terms with the likelihood that you may be stuck there for the foreseeable future— before you knew it, he had crept into your heart.

You don’t know when it started. All you know is that his presence in your life is more than the surface-level distraction it once was in your reality. No, Sylus— the living person who offered you a place in this world, who indulged you in your lowest moments, who makes your heart race like no other— has you wrapped around his finger. He could ask anything of you, and your heart could do nothing but surrender to his whims.

But in the back of your head, always lurking, is the distant reminder of the main character. The vivacious hunter whose life is tied to his. The other half of his soul. She looms in the background of every moment, a constant reminder of what you cannot have. There’s no chance you could ever come between something destined by the universe itself, so you yield in the face of their cosmic love. You shove away your feelings and resign yourself to finding a way back home, desperately, before this world forces you to lose a love you never even had.

—————————————————————

What you don’t know is that he’s desperately blocking off every potential lead back to your world, not wanting to face a reality where you are not in his life.

He finds himself conflicted, because his soul is tied to her. His sorcerer now reborn as the hunter, his soulmate, the one he has yearned for for what feels like a millenia. But here you are, his lovely secretary, the woman who forces him into mundane festivities and stays by his side for all his highs and all his lows. His love for his soulmate was forged in fire and blood; but this? This new love is bathed under golden light, born out of mutual care and an unexpected connection.

He has tried to keep his thoughts loyal and true to the love he has been seeking for centuries— but he can no longer deny the pull he feels towards you. The two images war in his head; the dragon roaring at how distracted he’s become from searching for his mate, and the man, falling fast and hard for a woman from another world, brought to him by pure fate.

His search for his long-lost love continues, but alongside it are his attempts to tie you down to his world, to keep you in his grasp. Because he cannot, will not, live without you.

He will watch the world burn before he lets it take another love away from him again.

—————————————————————

It all comes to a head when you hear a familiar voice raging through the corridors, wrecking a storm through the compound as she is brought here unwillingly. Sylus and the twins coming back with the hunter— bloody and bruised from her disastrous entry into the N109 Zone. Here it is. Your time is up.

For two people who are often so shamelessly true to themselves, both you and Sylus are the type whose true feelings are never encapsulated by mere words, whose eyes speak more of their soul than sentences ever could. Knowing this, you avoid his eyes. You shield your hurt in forced happiness, as he hides his internal conflict behind a cold veneer.

The two of you continue in this cycle of push and pull, of moving closer but not close enough. You live in a limbo, desperately searching for ways to get home before the main storyline catches up to you. Haunted by the narrative, you two move in and out of each other’s orbit, just out of reach. Just out of bounds.

—————————————————————

for any reveluvs here, i listened to night drive the whole time i was writing the motorcycle scene<33 (for non-reveluvs u should go check it out its an absolute banger) also, SYLUS’S BDAY MEMORY 🥹 his bday scene in the previous chapter is no longer canon-compliant considering the event story… (like UGH ofc this man never told anyone 😩) but i do find it funny how in this story the reader is the one who hides it from him; taste of his own medicine LOL. i headcanon that she remembered his bday from the game and shocked him to his bones when he saw the exact date plotted on their calendar

feel free to dm/comment on the series masterlist if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist 💕

taglist — @mangooes @mentaltrouble2201 @animegamerfox @crazy-ink-artist @phisen @jeondyy @t4naiis @wifunozomi @munimunni @blessdunrest @rafayelridesfisheatsfish @paintedperidot @mansonofmadness @pillarofsnow @sylususeyourevolonmepls @angelichiaro @mephisto-with-a-knife @crimsonmarabou @hikaru-sama @flamedancer13 @tati-the-fangirl @ameili @poptrim @caramelizedpopcirn @cupid-gene @vvonunie @lunia-likes-pomegranet @iamawkwardandshy @tinyweebsstuff @astolary @vyntheria @theloveofnagiseishiroslife @velourmobius @beaconsxd @hon3yydew @kira-loves0905 @codedove @that-lost-one @colonelcalebs-pipsqueak @kaiii07 @bohoooitsme @everythingistaken00 @rmjace @red-raf-sy @goddexxluv @seris-the-amious @stellisangelicus-world @alhaith4ms @young-adult-summer @junrui

comment and reblog if you enjoyed!

#novthirty-writes #sylus x non mc #sylus x non mc reader #sylus x non mc! reader #sylus x reader #sylus x you #sylus x mc #love and deepspace sylus #sylus love and deepspace #lnds sylus #lads sylus #love & deepspace sylus #qin che #love and deepspace #lnds #lads #love and deepspace x reader #lnds x reader #lads x reader

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darnell-la · 7 months ago

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hi, omfg you’re writing is AMAZING, i’m loving all your logan fics, you’re really talented, the depraved side of me wouldn’t rest if i didn’t ask - can we please get more of a “forced creampie” breeding kink?

𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗛𝗘'𝗦 𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘 𝗙𝗢𝗥

note: Logan is very dark and pervy in this story. passiveness always gets the best of him when it comes to y/n and other boys he knows aren’t good for her.

———

“I don’t understand you, kid,” Logan spoke as soon as y/n slipped her shoes off. The young girl jumped at his presence, thinking he would be knocked out like he usually is at this hour.

“Logan,” y/n said low, eyes widened and heart pumping. She told Wade she wouldn’t sneak out tonight, but she did. She thought it would be easy since he was sleeping over Vanessa’s house tonight, but apparently, it wasn’t.

“Been waitin’ here for hours. You promised you’d stay in, and look at you. Dressed like that and pissy drunk,” the man said as he pushed himself off of the wall he was leaning on.

“You’re unbelievable, y/n,” the man seemed more upset than she thought he would be if he were to catch her. “I-I’m sorry — I was just out with a few friends, that’s all. Nothing bad happened tonight,” she assured the man, but he didn’t care.

“Nothin’ bad, huh? Then why do I smell him on you?” Logan asked, confusing y/n. Who was him? “Excuse me?” She asked, trying to be as polite as she could, but that all went over Logan’s head.

“Whoever you were all on tonight. I can smell him. Did he fuck you? Kiss you? Touch you?” Logan continued to ask as he got closer to Y/n’s frozen figure. She had almost forgotten about his enhanced smell.

“H-He’s just a friend, and we didn’t have sex. We only made out. M-Maybe he, uh, he touched me, but that’s all,” y/n knew she didn’t have to tell Logan or Wade anything about her life, but she was living here for free.

“And that’s why you’re all worked up now, huh? Couldn’t get you to finish?” The man asked now inches in front of her. The way his dark eyes looked down at her soft ones, send shifters d through her body.

“I-I really don’t want to talk to you about this, Logan. It’s inappropriate,” Y/n said as she moved to walk past him, but he moved in her way to stop her.

“You think you can sneak out without consequences, princess?” The tall man asked as his hands softly gripped her waist. “You think it’s fine to be all on another man, then come back to a man’s house? You think that’s respectful?”

“L-Logan, I’m sorry, okay? I just wanted to have a little bit of fun tonight,” y/n said as her hands touched both of his wrists, trying to pull him away, but he wouldn’t budge.

“Could’ve just asked me for some fun, Bub, and you know that,” the man had tightened his grip on the girl, telling her to stop her attempt to push him away, because it wasn’t happening. Especially after what she's done.

“Logan, I think I should go to bed,” y/n, the one whose mind shouldn’t be functioning right because of how much liquor she had, said.

Logan’s behavior was something she never expected. He didn’t either, but thinking about how another boy touched her, made him realize he needed to act fast.

He wanted to start off slow, maybe take her on dates and buy her gifts, but tonight was unexpected. He wasn’t going to let it go.

The strong man picked y/n off of her feet and made his way to the nearest couch. “What are you going?” Y/n asked, confused about how Logan was reacting to her sneaking out.

“Gonna make this quick and easy so you’ll understand,” Logan’s voice sounded deep to y/n as he roamed her body. She didn’t get what was happening at first until he lifted her tight dress over her ass.

“Hey!” Y/n tried to speak out, but her voice sounded low and whiny. The alcohol hadn’t kicked hard until now. Now she felt like she couldn’t speak or move.

“Can’t get all whiny when you caused this, Bub. Ain’t a good look on ya,” Logan told her as the room filled with the sound of his belt coming off and his jeans unzipping.

“L-Logan, what are you doing?” Y/n asked, upset that she was acting this way. She could scream at him, or fight to get from under him, but she chose not to. She chose to be good, and let the man do what he needed to do.

“I think you know, princess,” the man’s voice rang throughout her head as he pulled himself out, cock dropping at how heavy and painfully hard he was. He always is around her, but tonight was different. Tonight, he needed to feed it.

“C’mon, Bub, stop the whining. Seriously. Gonna get me all riled up. I’d like to last at least a few minutes,” Logan complained as he pulled y/n’s soaked panties to the side.

“Now that’s a fucking pretty site. Fuck, kid,” Logan wiped two fingers in between her folds to get a feel of the juice she had been hiding from him for so long.

“Hey you’re sweet,” the man said, and before you/n could say anything, she heard the noises of him sucking on his own fingers with a groan. “Fuckin’ is,” he confirmed before grabbing a hand full of his cock.

“L-Lo,” y/n didn’t know what to say but felt uncomfortable not saying anything. She’s basically inviting the man to use her. She didn’t know what came over her tonight, but the alcohol helped her understand how much her body wanted and needed this.

“Ssh, Bub — Gonna fill you up, then we can go to bed, mkay? I won’t even tell Wade about your silly acts,” Logan said before he pushed at her entrance, causing her hole to instantly tighten.

“C’mon, y/n — Don’t give me a hard time,” the man said as he continued pushing until he got past and through her folds. A shaky moan fell from y/n’s lips as she felt her lower stomach ache.

“So goddamn right,” Logan grunted as he pushed further to get himself all the way in her. “T-Too much — Too much!” Y/n cried out, but he kept pushing until he was fully inside of her.

Y/n could barely breathe, scared that she would hurt herself, but the way he pulled back just to slam back in, forced the breath out of her body.

“Fuck,” Logan’s hands gripped the side of her ass as he used that to move her into his rhythm. The sight of her juice coating his cock every time he slipped back into her, made his cock twitch. She was driving him crazy and had barely done anything.

“You’ve gotta stay away from those boys, baby. I don’t like you around them,” Logan spoke to the young lady like he was her father. “Don’t want me to go crazy, right? You wanna keep me calm, right?”

Logan forced Y/n’s legs a bit wider so he could push her further. Y/n reacted by lifting her upper body to endure the slight pain, but he forced her face back down onto the long part of the couch that stood up.

“Stop the fighting, Bub, this has to be done. It has too. I can’t have you out there anymore. Even Wade is worried for you. We need you safe,” Logan's pace sped up, making y/n choke on her moans.

“Too much,” y/n cried as her walls clenched around him. “Oh, but it’s not, baby. It’s just enough, and you’re gonna take more of me. So much more. You’re gonna be full,”

Those words triggered y/n’s head, slightly scaring her at the fact he could cum in her. He didn’t put a condom on. She’s just now realizing he never planned to in the first place.

“L-Logan, no — Pull out,” y/n begged the man as she tried pushing her body up and moving away from him, but he was too strong. The man pushed her face further into the couch as his other hand stayed on her ass, tightening his grip.

“P-Please, Logan,” y/n cried, hoping he’d listen, but that small part of her liked how dark he could get. He was constantly angry, and sometimes, she liked when he’d lash out at her. This was a different kind of lash-out, but that small present in her made her closer to her own orgasm.

“Nah uh — You’re gonna take it,” Logan threatened through his teeth as he pounded her. “Can’t go out half naked and come back to me, thinkin’ I’d let it slide. I’ll show you how I let things slide, kid,”

Logan lifted his right leg and planted his foot right neck to her knee that was on the seat of the couch. “Gonna show you exactly how I treat little brat like you,” a hand came down onto y/n’s ass before he began slamming down into her.

Y/n cried out, moaning loud and cranky as she finally released around him. Holding herself back was impossible in this new position and the new pace he had going on for her.

“Mhm hm — That’s it — Just like that,” Logan growled through his teeth as he spread one of her ass cheeks to get a better view of his cock violating her cunt. The juice splashing everywhere could make him go insane, but he wanted to take it easy on her tonight.

“Gonna keep sneaking out? Gonna keep kissin’ on your friends and being a whore!?” Logan slightly tugged on her hair as he leaned down to breathe heavily into her ear. “Are you!?” The shouted.

“No! No!” She cried, making him chuckle as he leaned back. “That's what I thought,” the man felt cocky, knowing she stood no chance when it came to pissing him off. Wade would’ve definitely let this slide. That’s why Logan’s here though — To put her in her place.

“Gonna cum, baby,” the man spoke, making the going lady sob, but she had no idea why. Maybe the feeling of being dominated made her feel pathetic, but deep down she liked the claim.

“Oh, yeah,” Logan growled, thrust stuttering as he spread her ass cheeks even further so he could get all of him in. “Ah huh- Fuck!” Logan groaned one last time before he began spilling inside of the weak girl.

Y/n whined at the feeling of his seed coating and filling her walls. He leaks beyond more than a regular human, and she realized that as plenty leaked out of her cunt and down her legs.

“That’s my good girl,” Logan kept his hands on her head, pushing her down as the other rubbed her ass, slapping slightly to see a little jiggle.

“Gonna keep this good girl filled so she won’t have to touch on little boys anymore,”

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beenbaanbuun · 1 year ago

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Haiii this might be a weird request but I wonder if you could write an angsty Addams!MATZ fic 😭 so sorry if this is weird I've just been feeling really angsty! You can choose whatever happens lol I just wanna cry 🫶🏽

sorry i didn’t write this sooner!!! i really wanted to but i’ve been super busy over the past few days :(( i never feel super confident writing angst but i did my best!!! i hope you enjoy :D

——————————————————————————

hongjoong yelled at you… hongjoong never yells. he doesn’t yell when yeosang is being difficult to train or just acting downright feral. he doesn’t yell when clients are being cheeky and asking for far too much. he doesn’t even yell when you’re being a brat and he slips into ‘dom mode’ to punish you. yet he yelled at you just a few minutes ago…

why?

it’s your fault, you tell yourself. if you’d just listened when he told you he was busy, none of this would’ve happened. he was already stressed so why did you think being a brat and pushing his buttons would be a good idea? of course he wouldn’t want to deal with you when he already so much else on his plate with work. it was dumb of you to even think he’d give you the time of day.

you try and keep your tears to a minimum as you stalk through the house. noisy crying would only be another distraction to hongjoong and you don’t want to upset him any more than you already have done. still, despite your best attempts, you can help the shuddered breathing and quiet sniffles as you make your way down the stairs and towards your favourite spot in the house.

the fire is already crackling, drawing you in like the pied piper. you can hear the hushed conversation behind the soft crepitation, but you ignore it, entirely too focussed on how nice it will be to flop onto your favourite rug and fall into a slumber. perhaps when you wake, everything will be fine. maybe hongjoong won’t be mad at you anymore. he’ll smile at you as he tells you you’re forgiven, placing a kiss to your forehead, and then your nose, and then your lips. he’ll take you up into his arms and apologise for yelling, speaking to you in the softest, most gentle voice he can muster. it’s a nice thought…

you reach the doorway to the living room, staring up at the large, oak arch that reaches high above your head. it’s carved with intricate details all hand finished by their artist friend, yunho. most of it represents their respective histories, each of their tales beginning from the bottom of the arch and climbing the wood like vines until they reach the apex at the top. prior to your arrival, their wedding had been the carving at apex of the arch, the image of two ravens, each holding a ring within their beaks, sat proudly above everything else.

now, though, the image at the top is entirely different. a lamb with dove wings and a dainty collar around its neck. the ravens still sit proudly on either side of the creature, watching over it as it sleeps. as you stare at it, you can’t help but wonder whether hongjoong will still be upset with you come bedtime. there’s a spare room down the hall that you used to sleep in when you were nothing more than their sugar baby and it was too late for them to send you home alone. perhaps you’ll have to reside in that room tonight, cold and alone and unable to sleep without the warmth of your lovers on either side of you. the thought has you biting your lip to silence a sob.

it doesn’t quite work. you still involuntarily whimper, catching the attention of both seonghwa and yeosang. their hushed conversation halts to a stop as they see you at the doorway, eyes wide and wet as you stare up at the very tippy-top of the arch. your fingers tangle themselves up as they helplessly fiddle with one another, tugging and twisting and picking until blood begins to pool along one of your nail beds. seonghwa can’t recall a time he’s ever seen you like this, and there werewolf had certainly never. they share a wary look.

“my darling lamb,” seonghwa calls to you in a hushed voice. he doesn’t want to startle you by being too loud, but he needs to pull you from this anxious haze you’d found yourself trapped in. he can’t lie that he’s a little relieved when your red ringed eyes flicker over to meet his. smiling is the last thing he wants to do upon seeing you in this state, but he knows his gentle disposition will calm you; it always does. his lips curl up softly. “what happened?”

the werewolf that has taken up residence on your favourite rug watches with concerned eyes. ever since his arrival, you’ve been an annoying little shit. an absolute thorn in his side when he wanted nothing more than to have a peaceful existence in his new home. you have no respect for personal space, you never know when to shut up, and you’re always way too cheerful all the time. they were facts that yeosang just had to accept when he realised you weren’t threatened by his harsh growling and gnashing teeth. all those times he had you pinned to the floor, spit spraying as he warned you to leave him the fuck alone only to have you giggle in his face and call him pretty; that person is nowhere to be seen right now.

“pup?” he hums, deep voice grumbling as his worries work themselves into his tone. even though he quite thoroughly despised you on his entry to the house, it seems you have this magical ability to work your way into the hearts of anyone you set your sights on. you set your sights on him before you even knew him; it took you no time at all to become one of his top priorities. “tell us what’s the matter. we can’t help unless we know?”

you take a few tentative steps into the room, bare feet tapping lightly against the parquet floor. they’re so used to your thundering footsteps as you traverse the house at your excitable pace. the silent footsteps you take towards them make their skin crawl.

you reach the rug, gently lowering yourself until your bare thighs hit the soft fur. your pastel blue skirt—the one that seonghwa had picked out to match the werewolf’s fuzzy blue jumper—bunches up around your waist, but neither of them have the time to admire how perfectly slutty it looked. it hardly seems right when you continue to wordlessly snivel and whimper, not even bothering to lay yourself down alongside your favourite werewolf-shaped pillow.

“hongjoong was mean to me,” you whimper, and seonghwa can’t lie, it confuses him.

hongjoong is mean to you a lot. it’s how he punishes you for being a brat, bullying you into submission until you decide to be a good girl. he calls you names, pushes you around a little—it’s nothing too severe but still enough for him to have earned the reputation as the crueler of the two of them. for a second, seonghwa thinks he’s landed on the answer, you must’ve been a little too bratty and couldn’t handle the consequences…

but that still doesn’t make sense.

if you couldn’t handle the consequences then that must’ve meant you weren’t in the right headspace to be punished. that in itself is nothing new, although normally, you tend to realise that before you decide to go and act out. it could’ve been the case that you didn’t realise you weren’t feeling up for a punishment but then you should’ve used your safeword. the fact that you’re sat downstairs with him and yeosang and not snuggled up in hongjoong’s arms is testament to the fact that you can’t have done that either. his husband would never do something so utterly stupid as to let you out of his sight when you’re clearly still upset over a scene you stopped.

so what happened?

did you just force yourself to take a punishment you didn’t want? no. seonghwa knows you’re too smart to do that just like he knows his husband is too observant not to notice. it’s something else entirely. something that seonghwa just can’t put his finger on.

“i need a little more information than that, darling,” seonghwa coos as he leans forwards to rest his elbows on his lap. his chin sits prettily in the palms of one hand, the other coming to rest atop your head. he pets you a few times, his touch like a cloud as tries to soothe you. your shoulders relax a touch, but your fingers still pick at one another in your lap. seeing you in such a state makes his heart sink. “lamb, what exactly did hongjoong do to make you so upset?”

you sniffle, separating your hands for just a second to wipe your tears away. they fall right back onto your lap, twisting and tugging and smearing the blood around. seonghwa can’t help but be thankful that nothing in the house is pale enough to be stained by your blood; otherwise he’d be marching you the bathroom to wash your hands, begging you to tell him what happened as the two of you walk.

“he yelled at me,” you say simply, as if that would answer all of seonghwa’s questions. it doesn’t. in fact it only fills his mind with more.

“he yelled? as in he raised his voice?” seonghwa asks softly. he hopes that the answer is no; that you just mean that hongjoong has scolded you for something. it’s a little bit of a strong reaction for just a small telling off, but you have been known to take these sorts of things to heart.

but you nod, and seonghwa’s heart sinks. hongjoong never yells at anyone, let alone you, his little dove. seonghwa and yeosang pass an odd look between them.

“master yelled at you?” the werewolf hums as he shuffles his body closer to yours. an arm wraps around your waist and effortlessly tugs you until you’re lay flat against the rug alongside the pretty creature. he lays the hand atop your own, stopping you from doing any more damage to your nail beds. the blood that spills onto his hands is nothing that bothers him. “why would master do that?”

the question is more aimed towards seonghwa than it is you. as close as you are with the couple, it’s only really seonghwa that knows the inner workings of his husbands brain. he always has an explanation to everything hongjoong does…

“i don’t know,” he says, a frown taking over his beautiful features. you hate it because you know it’s your fault. you upset hongjoong, you got yelled at, you told seonghwa, and now you have upset him. every sign points to you…

“it’s my fault,” you whisper. yeosang’s arm tightens around your waist in an instinctive display of protection. from what, he isn’t too sure. “i just wanted him to take a break but he’s too busy right now. i should’ve known.”

of course. seonghwa could’ve guessed it would be down to stress. it’s been a rough few weeks for hongjoong, the stress of yeosang arriving and finding his way into their weird, mismatched family, mixed with an increase in customers with the jewellery business, it’s safe to say hongjoong had barely had a moment free. of course, yeosang has calmed a little by now, but that doesn’t take the stress of the business away from his poor husband. he’s still being worked half to death by demanding clients who have more money than sense.

seonghwa imagines that any moment now, his husband will come to his senses and see that you were just trying to do something nice. that you weren’t just being difficult for the sake of it—which, granted, you often are—but were instead just trying to take care of him. you lacked the grace and finesse that the two of them did, but you still tried. demons, it fills his heart with love to know that you desire to care for them in the same way they care about you. you’re such a precious little lamb for them; they must’ve done something very special in their past life to deserve you.

“oh, my lamb,” seonghwa mumbles through a soft smile, “you have nothing to blame yourself for except being at the mercy of your own empathy. you prodded him because you were worried and that’s very thoughtful of you. your daddy should be worshipping you for such a kind act. i’ll go and see if i can’t talk some sense into him, hm?”

he stands up, long flowing trousers pooling gracefully over his feet. his red nails dance along them as he straightens the material out, trying to iron out the creases with only his bare hands.

“i’ll be back soon,” he hums, “let your puppy take care of you for now.”

#ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez oneshot #ateez fluff #matz x reader #yeosang x reader #opposites attract universe #poly ateez #poly ateez x reader #seonghwa x reader #hongjoong x reader

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zarla-s · 1 year ago

Text

We move forward, 'cause we can't go back...

It's the EIGHTH anniversary of Handplates, and the first one after I finished the comic back in July! I decided to dig up a very old wip that I never finished and finally do it. I've always loved WeMoveForward by The Midnight, and I think it applies not only to the comic itself but also this period after it... there's no way to go back to when I was doing it, only moving forward after it's done.

Even more appropriately, since I did this wip, these characters all moved forward even further... even as this sat in my files, they moved forward, in a sense. I don't know, the song gives me a sort of plaintive, longing, bittersweet feeling... it's hard to explain.

I had a very insistent voice in my head that always made me do a Handplates page over the years I was working on it, no matter what happened. I wasn't sure if that voice would ever stop, even when it's done, but it has! It's gotten quieter now, mostly only nagging me about other projects I should be working on (Defrag, the Ace Attorney/Frozen fic, web design, fic ideas, art ideas...) whenever I'm doing something, much like it did before I started the comic.

How I feel about Handplates finishing though is strange. At times it doesn't feel like it's over, even if I don't feel like I need to do another page. At other times I get sad thinking about it and I miss it, and other times I look back on it with amazement that I was able to do it. Sometimes I look back on it and think about what was happening in my life at that time, and sometimes when I look at it it's unreal and it's hard to believe I even did it, like someone else did the whole thing. It's like it's there but it's not, it's present but it isn't. It's a very strange feeling, it's hard to describe or pin down. I know it'll always be with me in some way, but it is strange to be able to focus so much attention on other things without that feeling of having to set aside a few days to do a page every two weeks... not bad or anything, but I'm not used to it still.

I don't know! When I read the comments on the last page a lot of them made me cry, especially those talking about how the comic had been their childhood, and now their childhood is over. It was sad to think that I had a part in something like that ending... but it ends for everyone, no matter what you do. We, you and me, everyone... we move forward, 'cause we can't go back. That line was so evocative for me that I even used it as a chapter title for the penultimate chapter on Comicfury.

I don't know, just nostalgic thoughts! I don't know if that's the right word for it... but thank you to all of you who read it and enjoyed it. Even now I hear from new people coming to it and reading through it again now that it's done. Even if it's finished, it's still new to people just finding it. It's still "living" in a sense. And thanks to those of you who stuck around even though it's done, I appreciate it. |D

(As a note, the Gaster ukagaka has a surprise if you boot him on the anniversary after seeing the brothers, if you haven't done that)

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#undertale #handplates #asgore #gaster #sans #papyrus #asriel #z art #man i like never draw asriel #i always feel guilty when i move on to something different than what brought people to me #but my interests never really die they just fall asleep for a little while #they always come back eventually

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imagine-you · 2 months ago

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If I Open the Door To Heaven Or Hell 6/? [Wally Clark/Reader]

Summary: Wally's reunion brings past regrets and unwelcome visitors. Word Count: 2.7k Author's Note: So, I got sick and I got depressed and it took me a little while to get here, but thank you to everyone for being so patient with me waiting on the next update!

Read On AO3 // Fic Masterlist

The aftermath of visiting your scar still weighed heavily on your mind days later. Wally had done everything in his power to help you, but you knew there was only so much he could do for you. The only person who could help you come to terms with what you suffered was you.

And you just weren’t ready yet.

It didn't help that Mr. Martin had found a way to jump into a body and escape the school. Now, there was no way to know if he would ever be back or if he was going after Janet. Maddie was worried about her friends and if she would ever manage to get her body back. All of you were worried about Janet and Maddie, since Mr. Martin posed the greatest threat to both. Everyone had been trying to theorize what Mr. Martin wanted with the keys and the scars, but no one knew enough to try to fit all the puzzle pieces together yet.

Now, you were sitting at a table that had been set out for Wally's reunion. He was so psyched about it that you hated you were having a hard time pulling yourself out of your misery. Even though Wally had assured you over and over and showed you just how much he cared about you, you still couldn't shake the insecurity you felt every time you saw Wally and Maddie interact. It also didn't help that your mind was consumed with what happened in your scar.

The others had been careful around you. It wouldn't have been so weird if Rhonda hadn't been practically gentle with you. Rhonda was usually the type to not sugarcoat anything. The fact that she was trying to comfort you felt odd, but you didn't know how to tell Rhonda that she was freaking you out. She was a good friend, and you knew she would always have your back, but you didn't know how to handle a different side of her.

You had also managed to catch the end of an argument between Wally and Rhonda not long after you sought out the others once you were ready to leave the tech booth. Charley had pulled you aside, asking if everything was alright. Quinn had surprised you with a hug and Maddie had wondered why you went into your scar. You couldn't tell her it was because of how jealous you got seeing her with Wally, so you only shrugged your shoulders and returned the nod of solidarity Yuri aimed at you.

As you walked back towards Wally and Rhonda, you overheard what Rhonda was telling him.

"--you have any idea how that feels? She went into her scar because you ran after Maddie."

"I know, I know," Wally assured Rhonda. "Don't you think I feel terrible enough about that without you here busting my ass over it?"

Rhonda pulled the ever-present lollipop out of her mouth and pointed it at Wally. "Just think about what you're doing next time. Maybe instead of running off and playing around in the pool with another girl, you bring your girlfriend with you."

"Maddie and I were just blowing off steam," Wally defended himself. "I would never do anything to hurt Y/N."

"And yet you did," Rhonda pointed out with an arched brow. She brushed past Wally, leaving you to finally finish approaching him.

Wally's eyes lit up once he noticed you. "Hey, how about we get out of here, huh? I think we've earned some time just the two of us. They've had enough of us for now. I want you all to myself," he told you before he tugged you forward into a kiss.

It didn't take you long to realize that Rhonda's words must have struck a chord, because he was practically glued to your side after she spoke to him.

You thought maybe Rhonda was being a little too harsh on Wally. But once the adrenaline had faded, you found it hard to stay positive. Quinn said you were in a funk, but you just felt downright depressed. Reliving your death had been hard on you and you were having a difficult time shaking all the negative thoughts and feelings that had risen since confronting it.

Now, you were sitting in the library where the reunion was being held and trying to find the energy to be excited for Wally.

Rhonda and Quinn were off to the side, talking about something you couldn't overhear. Charley was sitting on the stairs leading up to where the DJ booth had been set up while Wally flipped through records that had been left in a crate. You didn't know where Yuri or Maddie were, but you figured they would show up eventually.

You listened to the others talking, not really paying enough attention to discern what they were speaking about and even managed to bring up a reluctant smile hearing Wally sass Rhonda after mentioning something about a girdle.

"Oh, shit!" You heard Wally exclaim, abruptly forcing you out of your thoughts as he pulled a record out of the crate. "No way," he breathed as he brought up the record to show it off. "David Bowie. Y'all! We are so back," he said before he bounded up the stairs towards the turntable.

You met Rhonda's gaze and caught her rolling her eyes, but you noticed the hint of a smile on her lips. Even when she was annoyed with Wally, she couldn't quite resist his infectious enthusiasm.

Wally put the record on, letting Bowie's 'Let's Dance' fill the room. Wally's routine was something you had grown accustomed to over the years. Usually, you joined in, finding joy in Wally's excitement and letting yourself get easily roped in to the dance. But this time, you just weren't feeling it and that only made you feel worse.

Still, Wally tried, pointing at you and pretending to try to reel you in, but you stayed in your seat, refusing to move. You felt a pang of guilt when you noticed his obvious disappointment, but he turned towards Charley, silently respecting your wish to be left alone. It didn't take long before Charley was going through the moves Wally had coached you all through years before, a delighted grin on his face as he danced.

While Wally worked through his routine, you noticed the way his attention kept straying back to you. It was like he was checking in on you and the thought brought a slight smile to your lips. Even when he was having the time of his life, he was still worried about you.

You were content to sit at the table, your chin propped up on your hand while you watched him dance. You weren’t surprised that it was lifting your spirits to see Wally so in his element. You couldn't help but think that if he hadn't been thrown into football, then maybe he would have enjoyed being a theater kid.

You watched Rhonda and then Quinn join the dance. Rhonda never missed a step, but while Quinn was new to the routine, her eagerness to be part of the group more than made up for it.

Any sense of lingering despair was swept away when you watched the way Wally spun away from the group. He was still moving to the music, but he had deviated from his usual routine. He threw in a slide where he usually had a hip thrust and a shoulder shimmy where he would have moonwalked. He threw a smirk and a wink in your direction, and it was then you realized that this year Wally wasn't dancing for himself.

He was dancing for you.

That more than anything had you finally getting out of your seat. You caught the delighted grin on Wally's face before he reached a hand out towards you. You let yourself put your hand in his, letting out a surprised laugh when he immediately reeled you in only to spin you out again. He kept his grip on your hand tight, like he was worried you would try to leave, before he pulled you back towards him.

His lips met yours, the kiss turning desperate and intense within a moment. All you could do was hold on, your fingers digging into his shoulders, as Wally poured everything he had into the kiss.

It was fear and despair and joy and want. It swept you along with everything Wally had been trying to show you for days now.

It was love.

"Fuck," you gasped when you turned your head to the side to break the kiss.

You felt his smirk against the side of your face. "Later," he promised, hiding a kiss against the skin beneath your ear.

"That was awesome!" Quinn exclaimed, drawing your attention. "You do that every year?" She directed at Rhonda, a grin on her face.

"Every year," Rhonda drawled, shooting a look at Wally that was equal parts annoyed and fond.

"We should go again," Quinn decided, already bounding towards the DJ setup to restart the song.

“Quinn,” Rhonda groaned, following her like she was thinking about stopping her.

Later, you dressed up for Wally's big night and met him at the doors of the library.

"Damn," Wally sighed, looking you up and down. "How'd I get so lucky?"

You rolled your eyes, resisting the urge to tell him that if anyone was lucky, it was you. "Sap," you accused, because you didn't know how else to respond.

Wally grinned at you and held his arm out, letting you hook your hand around his elbow. "Before I forget," he said, reaching out to open the door. "We're playing wingman for Charley."

"Charley?" You asked, surprised that he was finally making his move. "Yuri?" You guessed, thinking of all the times Charley blushed around Yuri and how he couldn't keep his eyes off him.

"Yup," Wally answered, leading you into the library. "Promised not to let him embarrass himself. So, I might need your help running interference later."

"Got it," you agreed, offering him a tentative smile. Wally's dance and the promise of a date night had gone a long way towards lifting your mood, but you were still trying to shake the last vestiges of sadness that still clung to you.

Wally leaned over to press a kiss to your temple before he led you into the library.

You let Wally get you a glass of punch and watched him reunite with some of his former classmates. He looked so happy to be remembered by the class of '84 that you almost didn't realize anything was wrong at first. You had been in the middle of talking Charley up to Yuri, even though you were sure from the way Yuri looked at Charley that it was completely unnecessary.

It took you entirely too long to realize what the two guys were saying about Wally. Wally's crestfallen expression was enough to get you at his side. You also didn't miss the way Charley was carefully not looking at Wally.

"Look, it's alright," Charley told Wally when he tried to apologize. "It was forty years ago. You don't have to be sorry."

"But--" Wally started, before Yuri placed a hand on Charley's shoulder.

"How about a dance?" He asked, nodding towards the couples who had taken over the space in front of the stage. A slow song was playing and the couples were all swaying along to the melody.

"Okay, yeah, I'd love that," Charley answered, handing you his drink before letting Yuri lead him towards the dance floor.

Wally kept glancing at Charley and Yuri, as if he was worried something bad would happen. You knew that Wally had been a different person when he was alive. But the Wally you knew now wasn't anything like him. He had grown and started to accept that he didn't have to only see himself as the guy he was before he died. The fact he was obviously so torn up over his past actions was testament to that.

You were briefly distracted by Mr. Anderson showing up to wreak havoc on a reunion full of people who couldn't even see him. When you glanced back at Charley and Yuri, it was to see Charley putting distance between them.

You weren't sure why Charley looked so distressed, but when he pulled away from Yuri and walked away, you tried to find out what was wrong.

"Hey," you called, turning to look at Charley as he passed you. "What's wrong?"

"It's just...," he sighed before he shook his head and walked away. His jaw was clenched, and you noticed how tensed his shoulders were. Yuri looked just as lost as you felt when you glanced back at him.

Wally watched Charley leave the library. He looked worried, but he stayed rooted to the spot, even though it was obvious he wanted to go after him.

"Wally," you whispered, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder.

Wally turned to look at you. "Babe, I'm not like that anymore," he promised, gesturing towards the guys who were now commenting on the woman who was announcing something onstage. "I would never hurt Charley. I would never let anyone hurt him. I'd beat the shit out of them for laying a finger on him."

"I know," you assured him, letting your hand find his to hold onto. "Charley knows that too."

"But, I guess," Wally continued, glancing again at the guys who had brought up Wally's past. "I guess I was that guy. And that's how they remember me. I was no better than the people who hurt Charley."

"You've changed," you reminded him. "You're one of the best people I've ever met and that's for a reason, Wally."

Wally nodded his head, but he still looked like he was struggling with himself.

"Go find Charley," you urged him. "I think you two need to talk this out." You knew that Charley would need a friend now more than anything and Wally needed to prove to himself that he could be that friend.

Wally looked unsure and still didn't budge.

"It'll be fine," you promised him. "Trust me," you added, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Wally nodded his head, offering you an unsure smile, before he left in search of Charley.

"You're good for him," Yuri observed.

You startled, glancing at him over your shoulder. "You're good for Charley," you shot back. "He just gets a little nervous. Give him time."

Yuri nodded his head, looking thoughtful. "I've got time," he assured you before taking Charley's drink back from you.

You watched Yuri take a sip of the drink. "You know if you ever hurt him, though, I'll kill you. Forget that, Wally will kill you."

It wasn't much of a threat when you were all already dead. But Charley was your friend and you would do anything for him. He deserved happiness and if Yuri was the one who could provide it for him, then you wanted to make sure it stuck.

"I know," Yuri claimed, "but he won't have to. I only want what's best for Charley."

"Good," you told him. "Keep it that way."

You were going to ask Yuri if he wanted to see how Wally and Charley were doing when your attention was caught by someone across the room. She was leaving the library, slipping out of the room with a quick look over her shoulder.

It took you a moment to recognize her, but when you did, you felt like the whole world had stopped. Suddenly, your hands were shaking and you felt like everything was collapsing around you. It had been years since you saw her, but you knew you would never forget that face.

You felt your mind race in several different directions as you found yourself rushing to follow her. Yuri called your name, but you ignored him. You didn’t know why she was here, but all you could think about was figuring out the reason. You wanted her out, gone, but there wasn’t much you could do about that now that you were dead.

As you left the library in pursuit of her, there were really only three questions you desperately needed answered on your mind.

Why the hell would she come back?

How could she show her face here after what she did?

And lastly, did she feel any remorse for killing you?

Taglist: @preparedfruit @morstuavitamea-a @jaes-last-words @thatonegayloser616 @kmarie06

@girlthatislost @peterpangirl21 @uk1y0 @i-mmunity @siriusxmunofficial

@lov3bug @morallygrayboys @loudtalehologram @hey-its-roseaurum @doves1120

@benjiiisstuff @schoolspiritsfan14 @friedfrogs @superlegend216

#school spirits #wally clark #wally clark x reader #wally clark imagine #school spirits x reader #school spirits imagine #imagine #reader insert #wally clark x you #fic #ao3 #my fic #heaven or hell verse

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choerrysjubiles · 4 months ago

Text

Teen Hearts Beating Faster, Faster

pairing: virgin!wonbin x fem!reader

warning: jealous!bin :], jealous!bin confessing his feelings :D, smut, protected sex, premature ejaculation, aftercare, brief mention of food (not sexual)

wc: 3.7k

a/n: love u wonnie also the ryan in the fic is ryan ross hehehe I've been obsessively rewatching live in denver and I gotta write abt my bbygirl

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Wonbin had a decent amount of patience.

He had the patience for when professors scolded him for the work they misgraded. Even after tests were graded wrong, he sat back and waited for them to realize the mistake. Sighing in relief as they changed his grade, knowing he was the correct one.

He had patience for long hours at their dance studio. When choreographers continuously scolded them and yelled even as their bodies grew tired and were close to dropping. When he would force his lips shut as he heard the same droning words being shouted at him and his teammates.

Even among his friends, Wonbin was patient. Waiting for them to cool down, realizing they were both loud and wrong in the argument. Realizing the solution, he let it slide, as they looked at him in remorse. Not wanting to make another show of something, Wonbin let it slide as they continued doing whatever started the argument.

Something he didn't have patience for was that stupid guy, Ryan.

Ryan, some lame guitarist from a band y/n's become obsessed with. It seemed that was all she could talk about. The second he heard that name, Wonbin scowled.

Ryan's playing here, Ryan's sent me some demos, Ryan's sent me tickets to see them here or there. Ryan this, Ryan that.

Wonbin didn't even hate the guy. He was a decent musician; he played guitar well, even better than what Wonbin could play. But something boiled in him when you mentioned his name.

He couldn't even be jealous, Ryan had a girlfriend and he knew you would never do that. You were friends with his girlfriend, knowing each other even before Ryan dated her. But the idea of someone occupying y/n's thoughts more than her own friend, Wonbin, upset him beyond relief.

Was it because he's older? In a band? Was is the sweaty guy pheromones getting to y/n? Was that why she's so obsessed with Ryan?

But Wonbin bit his tongue and stayed quiet. He always did, never wanting to upset you even when you laughed and assured him you had no obsession or feelings or Ryan.

And even now, watching them play their set in some vacant building, Wonbin felt his jealousy grow. The way your eyes lit up when Ryan sang adlibs. The way you clapped and cheered when they finished a song. When you sang along to the same adlibs and backing vocals as Ryan. That especially made him upset.

Wonbin stayed still, armed crosses with a slight frown as he tried to enjoy their concert. Only some time left, then he'll be out of the temple of Ryan.

When their set was done, Wonbin and you walked out. Walking around to see if there was any restaurant or diner to grab something to eat before going home. When you finally made your way to Wonbin's car to drive home, you could sense something was up.

There was tension in the air, something being unsaid but desperately needed to be discussed. His hands gripped the steering wheel tighter, his arms flexed more, his face was unusually tight.

"You seem upset." Your voice was soft, not wanting to upset Wonbin.

"I'm not upset, why would I be upset?" He said, a little too fast to be convincible.

"You've been like this a couple of times. I just, I just wanna know whats going on? If you're okay?"

Your eyes were soft while your brows felt furrowed, something was really bothering him and knowing Wonbin, he'd rather bite his tongue than bring anything up.

Wonbin took a deep breath in, collecting his thoughts. The air was tense, it was hard to breathe, the pressure building every second longer he took to speak.

"I'm jealous of Ryan." It felt like Wonbin's head was gonna implode.

"Of Ryan?" You repeated.

"Yes of Ryan." He says, a little harsher than he wanted. "He's cool, he's all you ever talk about-"

"All I ever talk about? Wonbin, what do you mean?"

He turns slightly, cheeks flushed as he looks at you.

"It's almost like every time we meet up there's something new about Ryan. I know he's your friend but so am I."

You carefully nodded your head.

"I'm just." He sighs, "I feel myself becoming obsessed with you, or something."

Oh?

You sat in silence, mouth agape.

"And always hearing about that Ryan guy just pisses me off. I know he's older and more experience and cooler than me, but-"

"He's not." You laughed.

Wonbin stared at you. His eyes were wide, hair disheveled as he tried calming himself down to listen to you.

"I'm sorry I upset you." You made sure to keep eye contact. "Genuinely. But he's not that cool. He's kind of a dick to his fans, he often isolates himself when he's overwhelmed. He doesn't have a great temper."

"He does?" Wonbin leans a little closer to You, amused smile on his face.

"He's a cool guy to hang around because I like his band and I can get cheap tickets from him. But there's nothing more than that."

You grabbed his hand.

"I'm sorry I put you through hell. I wouldn't have done all that if I'd have known how you felt. I'm sorry."

"Can I kiss you?" He blurts out.

You blinked for a moment, you went lightheaded for a second before leaning in to give Wonbin a chaste peck on his lips. His face flushed even harder than earlier, he was sure you could feel the warmth radiating from him. Detaching from each other, Wonbin let out a whine.

Hearing him, you moved to the side of his face and pressed a kiss the corner of his mouth.

"I've never kissed someone before." He confessed.

"Really?" You asked, your voice was more curious than it could be teasing or taunting.

"Can we kiss more?" His eyes were shiny, scared you'd say no to him.

"Can we go somewhere more comfortable?" You asked.

"Y-yes, of course."

Wonbin turned the car on with fumbling hands, reversing and making their way to your apartment. The drive and walk up was agonizing. Every light turned red, every crosswalk had people walking, even the parking garage at her complex was filled.

Walking and standing in the elevator was torturous. Wonbin kept his hands on you, be it your arm or hand, to ensure this was real and not some dream.

Walking into your home, you latched onto each other. Your hands went straight to his neck, holding his still as your deepened their kiss. His hands nervously held onto your back before dropping to your waist.

You backed him to the couch, dropping down as he carefully hovered over you. His eyes nervously looked around your body.

"Do you wanna touch me?" You asked Wonbin.

"Yes." He barely spoke above a whisper, round eyes staring at you.

"Where?" You pressed.

He looked over you, every spot his eyes landed lasted around a second before he found another spot he wanted to touch.

Grabbing his hand, "I would like it if you touched here."

You guided his hand to your breast. Wonbin's breath hitched as he laid his hand onto you, scooting a hair closer.

"Don't be shy, come here." You egged him on.

He followed orders, moving closer. His hand stayed on your breast as he moved his other hand to your shoulder.

"Can I- uhm."

"You can do whatever, Bin."

He looked at her, seeing the assurance in your eyes, before moving his hands to massage your breasts. Thumbs swiping and moving into the fabrics of your shirt and bra.

"Do you wanna take it off?" You asked. "I know wanna take your shirt off."

"Can I?" He asked.

"Of course."

He grabbed at the bottom hem of his shirt, sliding it off of his body before moving to your shirt. His eyes widened with every inch of skin exposing. You leaned back into the couch as he pulled your shirt off, letting him eye you as you sunk down.

"Do you wanna move this somewhere else? Before we get into more?"

"Can we? I mean, yes. I-I would like that." His nervousness was cute.

You grabbed his hand, leading Wonbin to your bedroom. The lights were dim, your nightstand's lamp lighting the room in soft yellow lighting. Wonbin looked around, shocked at how similar yet different your room looked. Walking him towards your bed, Wonbin moved his hand to your shoulder, thumb playing with your bra strap.

"Can you take it off?" She asked him.

"How?"

"Here." You grabbed his hand.

Moving his hand to wrap around your backside. Holding onto his pointer finger and thumb, you helps him pinch the clasps. Your bra fell down, one strap falling down your shoulder to expose your breast as Wonbin stared down at the newly exposed skin.

You threw your bra to the side as he stared at your breasts. His hands shook as you grabbed them, pulling them upwards to cover your soft, warm skin. He carefully squeezed them, not wanting to hurt you. Thumbs rolling along your nipples, his eyes shot up at you when you let out a low sigh.

"Did that feel good?" He asked, leaning closer to you.

"Very." you closed your eyes.

He continued kneading your breasts, seeing what made you moan and sigh and what led to no reaction. Continuing to roll his thumbs along your nipples, growing the confidence to flick them and drink up the sighs you let out.

"Can we kiss again?" You asked. "You have really soft lips."

"Y-yeah."

He leaned over, lips softly merging before you kissed him again. His hands wrapped around your waist as you kissed, your tongue licking his bottom lip. Opening his mouth, he tasted your tongue as it swiped along his.

Wonbin let out a low moan. The feeling of your skin, your tongue, your lips, it's all so much. He slid his hands down to your ass, feeling himself fall against your bed as you climbed on top of him.

Your core sat right on top of his bulge, hips unintentionally grinding against him as he let out a strained groan.

"I'm sorry." You said, cheeks flushed.

"It's okay."

He breathed, thinking of what to do.

"Can you, mm, teach me something?" He asked shyly.

"What?"

"I wanna eat you out. I've just, never, uhm."

You felt your core grow wetter. His flushed cheeks, eyes looking anywhere but you. You wanted to savor this moment, this vulnerability from him.

"Where do you want me?" You asked, voice full of desire.

"Huh?" He said, unsure of what you mean.

"Should I sit on your face? Or do you want me laying down? Should we, like, 69?"

Wonbin flushed at your words.

"Uhm. Maybe you, uh, laying down."

You nodded, removing your pants before moving to lay down. Your knees were decently far apart, wanting Wonbin to move them to see your panties as he would lean into your pussy.

He looked around nervously, "Can you, you know, tell me how to, um."

"Do you want to lay on the bed or kneel on the floor?"

"Maybe the floor." He dropped onto the floor, settling along the edge.

You scooted to the edge of the bed, knees spread to each side of Wonbin's wide shoulders. His wide, shiny eyes stared at the wet spot on your underwear, his hands resting on your knees.

You leaned back, hands grabbing his leading them to your waistband. He caught on to pull them down, dragging them off down your legs before tossing them to the side. He leaned in to your pussy, seeing how wet it was.

He gently brought his hand to your core, cupping your vulva and feeling how much slick was dripping out of you. Gasping, you felt how warm his hand was against you.

"I thought you were eating me out." You whined.

Wonbin chuckled before leaning in, stretching your thighs to allow his head in. He let your thighs rest on his shoulders, something he's sure he's seen in a porno or two.

He gave a small lick, hearing your breathing hitch. His tongue was sharp and pointed, like he catching as much of your precum as he could gather. Taking another lick, he tasted the depth of your cum. The slight saltiness and overwhelming sweet taste.

He couldn't quite tell what you tasted like, having nothing similar to your cum, ever. His cum was far saltier, musky, even. But this was different. Were all girls like this or just you?

You were enjoying this feeling, his hot tongue licking at every inch of your pussy as you laid there panting. You felt your hand inch towards him, grabbing onto his head to steady yourself.

He continued licking at you, getting drunk on the taste of your honey. Flattening his tongue as he lapped at you, unknowingly teasing your clit with a lack of stimulation.

"Binnie, please." You whined.

He lifted his head, slick dripping down his mouth, "What's wrong?"

"Lick my clit more. I'm going insane, Bin." Your head popped up to look at him.

You felt a wave of slick pour out of you when you looked down at him. Eyes blown out, mouth glistening with your cum, his hot breaths teasing your pussy.

"Up here?" A string of your arousal clung to his lips as his eyes shot to your clit before bringing his hand up to flick at it.

"Yes!" You gasped, thighs clenching together as you fell back onto the mattress.

Wonbin smiled as he went back in to eat you. Tongue stiffening to prod at your clit before slurping up the wetness dripping out of you. Every move he did he saw you twitch and squirm.

"Wait, fuck, yes! Right there, right there."

His confidence kept growing seeing you fall apart from him. Your back continuing to arch off of the bed, Wonbin continued licking at you, nose bumping into your clit as he felt you stiffen. A long drawn out moan escaping your lips as your pussy dripped your cum onto his tongue.

Pulling away, Wonbin looks up at you. Ragged breaths as you're still gripping the bedsheets. Your legs, still folded, are shaking as he rubs your thighs in an attempt to comfort and relax you.

"I thought you said you were a virgin."

"I am." He says shyly.

"You're either a liar or are too good at following directions." You laughed.

You laid there until your breath steadied. Wonbin crawled up the bed, sitting beside you. You were overwhelmed with how hard that orgasm felt, no man's been that good at eating pussy. Wonbin watched your breathing, how much air was sucked into your ribcage, the sheen of sweat along your breasts, how hard your nipples became as the air cooled.

Leaning up on your elbow, "Do you want me to help you with that?"

Y/n stared at his tight bulge.

"Can we have sex?" His eyes were wide, scared you'd say no.

"Yeah, of course we can."

His shoulders relaxed. Taking his pants and boxers off, Wonbin felt a little exposed. He's never been naked in front of anyone, looking over you're not even paying attention to his body. You're looking at his face, his cheeks? Somewhere, studying his reactions, maybe.

You lean over to your nightstand, opening the drawer to take out a loose condom, tossing it to Wonbin you ask if he knows how to put one on.

"No."

"Come here." You wave his over.

Wonbin crawls towards you, his hard dick standing tall as you begin to unwrap the foil.

"This might feel a little weird." You warn.

You roll the condom down his length, the cold lube made Wonbin hiss. Fully covered, you grab onto the tip and pull it upwards, suctioning it onto him.

"What position would you like?"

"Can you ride me?"

You blinked, surprised at his request.

"Sure, get comfortable." You motion to your bed.

"I'm sorry, I should be-"

"No way, this is your first time, I gotta treat my baby right."

Wonbin felt his heart skip when you called him her baby. He moved to lay down, you pushed some pillows together to give him better cushioning as well as a better new.

You straddled his lap before teasing his tip along your folds, Wonbin's hands grabbed at your hips, rubbing and squeezing the flesh as you got into position.

Slowly dropping down onto him, Wonbin began squeezing you, a soft moan escaping him as his eyes were glued to your pussy. He was amazed at how you felt: soft, tight walls clinging around him as you sank lower and lower. He didn't know how deep your womb could get but he was an almost perfect fit.

Your walls clung around him as you sunk lower. Dropping into his lap, you saw Wonbin wide-eyed and panting.

"Are you okay?" You leaned in, worried about him.

"You're so fucking tight."

You smiled, leaning in to kiss his forehead. He craned his head to kiss your lips, sitting up more to continue kissing you.

"Can I move?" You asked, mouth moving to his cheek and jawbone.

"Yeah." He was breathless.

You left a wet kiss onto his jugular as you lifted yourself and pushed back down.

"Shit." He moaned, grabbing your hair to kiss you. His wet tongue began licking the inside of your mouth.

Bouncing more, his grip tightened as he let out a slew of moans. You felt different, there was something insatiable about being on top of Wonbin. Not just that you two were friends, but he was falling apart so soon.

"Wait, fuck, slow down." He begged.

As you were going to plant yourself down, Wonbin's face tightened. He let out a strangled moan, teeth biting his lip to stop himself. Looking at your face, his eyes became teary as his breathing became ragged.

"Fuck."

"I'm so sorry." You said.

"You're," He breathed, "you're fine, it's me who-"

You pulled off of him, gaining a strained groan from Wonbin.

He looked over to this side, "This is embarrassing."

"It happens to everyone."

"Everyone?"

"Mostly guys, but you can't help that."

Wonbin took the condom off, tying it and tossing it in your trash bin.

"Can i still make you cum?" He looked at you shyly.

"Do you wanna?"

"Yeah."

"Sure, you can finger me. How do you want me?"

Wonbin sat up on his knees, wondering where they could move.

"Can I finger you, like, doggy style?" He asked shyly.

Oh?

"Yeah." Your cheeks felt warm hearing such a lewd answer.

You tucked some pillows under you as you bent onto them, ass on display for Wonbin. You felt a shiver run down your body as his hands rubbed your hip, something exciting about not knowing his next move. His hand swiped down to your ass.

He was fascinated with your body, seeing what parts were plump and fleshy and which ones weren't. His hands stroked along your ass, thumb prodding at your core to feel how wet you were. Wonbin noticed the arousal dripping down your thigh as he carefully pushed his pointer finger in.

"Mmm." You moaned.

Wonbin continued thrusting his finger in and out, feeling around your walls as he moved. Your legs began shaking a little, the sense deprivation was really getting to you.

As Wonbin inserted another finger, his free hand snuck by your hip to rub your clit, feeling the erect nub as he stimulated you.

"Wonbin, ahh." You moaned. "Mmm, can you go harder?"

"Harder?"

"Please."

He began pumping his fingers in and out, carefully tapping your clit as he fingered you.

"Fuck you're making my dick hard again."

"Put it in." You moaned.

Wonbin tore his hands away, quickly getting into your drawer to grab another condom. He tried remembering what you showed him as he tore the foil and rolled it on. He remembered how your hands looked at he pulled the tip lightly, suctioning it on.

Standing on his knees, he aligned himself with your core, take a breath as he was still sensitive from earlier.

Pushing in, he felt his hips begin bucking in and out.

Aligned at her core, Wonbin inserted himself. Still so sensitive from his orgasm earlier.

"Fuck, you're even tighter."

"Rub my clit, Binnie."

He followed orders and messily rubbed your clit, heryourwalls beginning to clench even tighter around him. His hips thrusting harshly into you, so much he almost slipped out.

"Yes, yes, fuck! Wonbin!"

His hips continued thrusting as he felt you tighten around him with a loud moan. The sensation was too much as he felt himself cum in the condom. His large hands wrapped around your hips tightly as emptied himself.

He could barely pull himself out, the feeling so painful and pleasureful. Carefully, after some breaths, Wonbin pulled out, pulling the condom off before dumping it into your trash can, again.

He felt his body collapse next to you as you were adjusting to lay on your back.

"So." You were still panting. "Was that a good first time?" You had a wide smile, looking over at Wonbin.

"Yeah, it was memorable, at the least."

You laughed, turning on your side to look at him.

"Did you want me to help clean you up?" She asked, grabbing his hand.

"Not now, I wanna relax for a moment."

"Yeah." You said, grabbing at one of your blankets to cover him.

"Thank you," He said, "your apartment is really cold."

"This is not the pillow talk I was expecting, Bin."

He laughed, scooting closer to keep warm. Laying together, they mostly held each other while only talking sparingly.

"Here." You said, leaning over to your nightstand.

You opened your drawer to take out a baby wipe.

"Baby wipes?"

"For clean up." You defended yourself.

"You clean up with baby wipes?"

"You're expected me to hand you some rough wash cloth as a cum rag? No, they're great for cleaning up after sex."

You helped him clean himself, wiping some dried cum off of his face, grabbing another for his dick.

"Too cold!" He yelped.

"You're being a baby." You laughed.

#if there are typos no there arent #wonbin smut #riize smut #wonbin hard hours #wonbin hard thoughts #wonbin x reader #wonbin imagines #riize imagines #riize x reader #riize hard hours #riize hard thoughts #choerrys works

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solar4seekstron · 6 months ago

Text

(Requested) Wife

TF1!YandereDarkwing x Cybertronian!Femme!Reader Oneshot

Part 2

Content: 18+

Introduction Movie Oneshot Masterlist

TW/Tags: This is a pretty dark fic, didn’t want to go too far with some scenes, kidnapping, forced relationship, noncon/smut (Will be in purple), forced pregnancy, not really use to writing a dark fic like this but I do hope it was a little enjoyable for you guys. Omg the sparkling at the end so so damn cute!!!!

You were a miner who worked every day since the day you came online. You have worked under your supervisor Darkwing since the beginning. At times you’d notice he’d talk to you most.

And was a bit more gentle at you at times when he would be more cold and strict with other bots like Elita.

You were as big as D-16. And one of the strongest miners there was. So you were a pretty respected femme next to Elita.

But that all changed when you chose to work a late night shift. A few of the other bots left being tired. And so you stayed behind. But when you weren’t looking. You were soon knocked out from behind everything going back.

When you woke up. Nothing has been the same since.

Ever since you woke up in a comfy and warm berth belonging to Darkwing. You couldn’t feel the cold recharge “berth” you were once use to using for a good while.

Confused as you are forced to stay in an apartment. Not allowed to leave as you’re forced to stay inside at all times. Darking always returning to you at the end of the day with tiredness and not always the right mindset.

As if he was doing the miners work most of the time. But he’d always be gentle with you if your showed to behave.

No attempt to mess with the doors security.

And the window were tinted. Only to see through then for others to see in. Though the window had security as well. All you could do was watch tv and make food whenever you were hungry. And some days you dreaded the berth more time then when he’d fall asleep on the sofa….

One day as you were making some energon. You were watching some movie about a family sitcom. Made from the other side of the planet.

You just got done crying. Something you do often every day while Darkwing is out.

As you sat on the sofa and ate your energon. you thought about the others. Orion, Elita, Jazz…….D-16… You know Darkwing lied to the miners. Saying you died thanks to the mining cave closing on you one night.

You were truly trapped..Never going to be able to finish your courtship to D-16.

As you finished and leaves out Darkwings plate. You’d then hear the unlocked of the front door. Darkwing soon walking in as he looked at you, closing the door behind him soon.

You knew what he was waiting for. He “taught” you well how to greet him when he returned home to you. And so you stood up and walked up to him. Putting your cervos together infront of him as you spoke. Looking at him.

“Welcome home Darkwing. How was work?”

He never really took off his visors and mask when he wasn’t in his own apartment. His face wasn’t that different from any other bots face.

His face paint being more of a mid grey color and having purple optics. He’d always take it off when he came home to you as he did now. Always either having a smile..or a frown.

A grin on his dermas as he stared down at you. His optics narrowed as he held one of your cervos and kisses the back of it.

”Busy as per usual. Have you been good sweetsaprk?” He asks as he checks the security.

”Yes darkwing..”

”Is my dinner ready?”

”Yes Darkwing…”

His grin still on his dermas as he walks to the sofa past you. Sitting down and picking up the plate as he ate the energon. Relaxed against the sofa as one cervo held the plate of energon. His other cervo on the arm of the couch. His legs spread as he watches the sitcom….

The only thing he lets you watch.

You sat on the other side of the sofa as he ate. And Once he was finished he placed the plate back on the coffee table and looked at you. Your spark raced a bit.

He knows this.

His cervo then reaching for yours. Scooting in a bit closer as he placed his dermas against the side of your helm. Then kisses down to your neck. He spoke inbetween kisses as his cervo rests onto your waist and the other holding your cervo. Then whispering in a low voice.

“I missed you Sweetspark…” He continued as you looked at the TV….What else can you do..besides just sitting there…

———————————————————————————

After you both snuggled on the couch. The sounds of the tv drowning out your kisses and moans. You’d soon be carried by him to your now shared berth room.

You’re sure hours went by. You grew so numb to it at this point. Only able to stare up at the ceiling or out the window as Darkwing did as he wished. The feeling of your body moving back and forth.

Your legs spread next to his waist depending on the position he wants.

You’d stare out the window as you see bots fly by and the sun setting as you try to numb out the sounds of Darkwings grunts. His helm above yours as he presses the side of his helm against the pillow of the berth.

One of his cervos holding your neck fully covering it. His other cervo holding on your yours with your digits interlocked together.His frame fully against yours as his hips continue to slam against yours after each thrust into your valve.

You legs open as his hips only brush against the side of your innner thighs every so often.

You’d close your eyes. Tears running down your optics as he sits up. Holding your waist as his thrusts gets rougher. You placed your cervo over your stomach as your frame continues to rock back and forth.

You knows he’s trying to give you a sparkling. That only made things worse for you as all you can do is just wait until you have a little mini him running around. You were pulled out of your thoughts as you felt his cervo hold your chin.

Making you look at him as he placed his dermas on yours.

Slamming his hips against yours once more. Overloading into you as he groans into the kiss.

After a moment once calmed down a bit from his high. He looked down at you. With love and lust. His optics dim and narrowed as he stared down at you.

You just stared up at him. Your face emotionless as you just closed your eyes.

———————————————————————————

After a couple month. You felt a surg of energy in your stomach. One morning you ran out of the berth to the sink. Throwing up some energon from the night before.

Darkwing coming along at first thinking you were trying to run away.

After he cleaned you up he went to the doctors who knew of his secret and you. For the next few months he was very protective over you. Always placing his cervo over your stomach as he feels his little sparkling move inside you.

They were a big baby. Little outer dents showing around on you waist as he would be the one to remake his on food and carry you around. Treating you like glass.

Even when you both watch your sitcom he’d keep you on his thigh with his arm around you. His cervo resting on your stomach as his other arm rests on the arm of the sofa.

Your cervos against his chest as your frame rests against his waist and chest.

Your sparkling slowly growing inside you until the day of the birth of your sparkling.

———————————————————————————

When the day came for your sparkling to come out. Darkwing was fast to take you to bring the doctor and nurses.

After they were able to help you give birth you were exhausted! Your sparkling is a girl.

She looke dos much like dark wing. Only having the same colored optics as you as his face painting being the same color as yours.

As you laid in your berth. Gaining your strength as the doctor and nurses left, Darkwing stayed sitting on the berth holding the small sparkling in his arms as he stayed close Waiting if you need anything like energon or want to shower.

The little sparkling reaching up to his faceplate as she giggled. You stayed ther watching the two…although she’s a sparkling given to you bu someone you never wished to be with… she is a part of you… and you know in your heart..

She’s the only thing you’ll truly love in this entire apartment…

I hope you guys enjoyed this. Requests are always open and as always re repost is appreciated. Hope you guys have a good rest of your day and see some of you in the comments!

#x reader #transformers one #transformers one x reader #transformers #transformers x reader #darkwing x reader #transformers darkwing

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drewdoa · 4 months ago

Text

𒈔 ⸺ enforcer agenda ♡ viktor hcs/blurbs

‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ a/n: hey there :)) happy new year!!! i’ve been gone for a little bit cause busy with family >.< BUT IM BACK WITH STUFF YAY!! i should be on my writing grind now that i’ll have spare time during school and such so i should be back to normal :D!! i hope you enjoy these blurbs cause they’re honestly my favorite

‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ extra info: no gender specific reader!, a bit of flirtation, you’re in an enforcer uniform/gear, implied nsfw

ꕥ —

vik is so used to seeing people in uniform, but never in a billion years would he expect you to turn bluebelly! you’ve expressed before that enforcers make you feel some kind of way, you’ve seen what they’ve done to the people of zaun. however, caitlyn thought you could use some training incase something turned sideways. she suggested you train with the enforcers to learn a thing or two, which honestly isn’t a bad idea at all. so you took up the offer.

you knew viktor would get a kick out of this, you becoming stronger and in that heavy outfit. you could already hear his slick and funny comments in your head, teasing you and hints of flirting. at the end of the day, you still know he’d still have you arched like the bridge of progress.

rotting away in his lab as the sound of chalk scraping against his board travels around the sound waves. normally, viktor doesn’t bat an eye at the sound of the metal gear tapping across the halls nearby. until the sound of the tall wood doors that hide the lab cracked open, steps gradually getting louder. “you know, it’s just etiquette knocking before entering, don’t you agree?” viktor spat before turning his back and facing you. he stood there for a moment before placing down his pencil behind him.

“you-” he paused, relaxing his shoulders and taking the sight of you in. “look good. who gave you that?” the rest of his sentence flew out as he began to circle around you. “i got it from caitlyn’s closet, she surprisingly has bigger sizes but that’s probably cause of vi��

“no complaints here, it fits you perfectly” viktor follows with a laugh. this lead to you coming into his lab often when you’ve got some extra time on your hands. even if it’s just to go in there and give him a kiss :)) (where you kiss him is up to you😋)

he 100% pulls you in with his cane, especially when you’re stuck guarding the hallways and can’t be caught slipping. coincidently, viktor had a spare moment and dedicated it all to you. let’s just say when you were back on duty your uniform looked like you’d been roughing it ;).

oh you’d so catch him wearing the uniform cause it smells like you. he wants anything that resembles you at all. gotta out him here, definitely a pervert to take your underwear and stash it in a box along with all your other personal things. he just wants reminders of you all the time <3 (this is also foreshadowing him tying one of your old shirts around his cane :)))

no surprises when it comes to viktors hidden talents, he would definitely take a blank book and write all of his thoughts about you in it. he’d think of it as his prized possession, never leaving it out of his sight, and especially keeping it away from you. viktor couldn’t bare the embarrassment honestly, imagining you reading the filthy things he’s written about you sends a chill down his spine. but its viktor we’re talking about here, he’d probably enjoy that. <3

‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ hello!!! i feel like this was just a bit short but i have a few fics i’ll be releasing as soon as im finished up with them ! you pt 2 in the works as well for all you viktor lovers just like me <33 and im working on expanding my writing and will be working on stuff for new characters >v< hopefully you can stick around till then, thank you for reading - drew

#arcane #arcane x reader #arcane fanfic #doa x arcane #viktor x y/n #viktor #viktor x reader #viktor arcane

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whoreforharlow · 2 years ago

Text

Glad It's You

Author's Note: a little smutty Jack x virgin!reader fic requested by @jackharlowsbaby00 to @jackharloww . Hope I did it justice!

The original ask: "Omg! Okay so I have one of like an 18+ but the reader being a virgin and like really really nervous for her first time and jack comforts her through it and they have a good time!"

Warnings: p in v intercourse

"You alright?" Jack whispered into your ear. The two of you were settled on the cozy sectional at his house, a movie you weren't paying attention to playing on the flat screen mounted on the wall. He seemed engrossed in it, but you couldn't bring yourself to focus on the storyline. Your attention was on his arm around your shoulder, fingers gently brushing the skin your tank top left exposed; your attention was on his hand that laid innocently on your exposed thigh, your tiny pajama shorts riding up a bit; your attention was on the feel of his body under yours as you were pressed against him, each rise and fall of his strong chest alluding to the muscles that were hidden beneath his shirt.

"Mhm," you hummed, meeting his gaze with a tight lipped smile before turning back to the movie. You couldn't help yourself, your mind these last few days wandering further and further away from what could be considered decent thoughts about your boyfriend.

You two had been together for the last four months, and it didn't take long for you to blurt out that you were a virgin when he first attempted to initiate any intimacy. You hadn't meant for the words to tumble out so abruptly, but you had panicked a little bit, never having done much more than some innocent kissing. He was quick to reassure you that he didn't mind and that he wasn't going to pressure you into anything you weren't comfortable with. Jack kept to his word, going at your own pace and making sure you were comfortable with him.

"You sure? You seem distracted." You blushed a bit at his observations. He was right. You were distracted by him, his body, his scent, his presence. His tight gray tank and basketball shorts didn't help your cause either.

"I-" your mouth went dry as you caught the smirk on his beautiful face, his blue eyes shining under the bright lights from the screen in the dark room. He looked truly angelic, his curls framing his face like a halo, the little freckles peppering along his nose and cheeks giving him a youthful boyish look, his perfect teeth exposed through his plump pink lips as he smiled at you.

"I'm sure." You squeaked out, looking away from him once again. You felt your heart hammering in your chest; for the first time in a while Jack made you feel really shy under his gaze. He didn't respond much, just humming along as he settled back to watch the movie, his body shifting and readjusting under your weight before once again pulling you into his side. This time it was his hand on your thigh that drew light circles on your skin which made you jump up immediately from the couch. You stood there awkwardly, a humorous look on Jack's face as he looked at you with a raised brow.

"I, uh, I'm gonna go to sleep." You announce, faking the best fake yawn you could muster, turning around on your heel and all but sprinting to Jack's room. You face palmed yourself, thinking about how stupid you must've looked. You felt flushed, your brain pushing forward every desire you had, playing small clips of what you wished you had the courage to ask Jack to do to you. You plopped down on his bed, burying your face into the pillow and wishing the night would end.

Of course wishes never come true.

You heard the door open behind you, and you held your breath in hopes to convince him you actually fell asleep in the last seven seconds.

"I know you're not asleep, babe." Jack chuckled. You felt the bed dip as he crawled over to you.

"Go finish your movie." You spoke into the pillow, burying your face even deeper.

"Why don't you come finish it with me? Or better yet, why don't you tell me what else you'd rather do?" You wanted to question what he meant by that last part, but you didn't need an explanation once you felt him run a finger from the back of your knee up the back of your thigh to where your shorts ended just under your ass. You whirled around, pulling your legs away from his touch like it was fire, your eyes wide as you looked at him in disbelief of how this man could have known what you've been thinking all night.

His face held a goofy smile as he tried to hold back a laugh at your bewildered look. He knew how shy you were regarding intimacy, and his favorite thing was to tease you a bit to bring you out of your shell. The two of you had had plenty of make out sessions where you both had gotten a bit handsy, so he was surprised by how jumpy you had gotten from his touch.

"I-I-I don't know what you're talking about." Your claim was weak and you knew it. Jack could see right through you, you knew that. If Jack was anything, it was observant. He had caught every lustful glance you took of him, noticed every time you shuddered from his touch, or preened under his gaze. He could practically see the pornos your brain was playing out in your mind every time he caught you staring at him. He noticed how you were needier lately and more sensitive to his touches, hell even just a glance from him had your knees ready to buckle.

"Hmm." He just hummed along, crawling closer to you as you scooted back, you were so close to the edge of the bed he was sure one more scoot and you'd fall right off it. He wanted to keep teasing you, but he was also careful because he knew how your nerves could cause you to shut down if it got to be too much. Instead he settled himself against the headboard in the middle of the bed, keeping a short distance between you two, wanting to make sure you didn't feel cornered.

He just held out a hand to you, giving you the choice to come to him instead, and you were more than eager to. You jumped right into his lap, letting his arms hold you tight as you try to calm your racing heart.

You've always been a shy person, a little quirky and dorky growing up, and though you hoped that you would grow out of that, it seemed to stick with you into adulthood. It was what intrigued Jack the most about you, yet you couldn't see how anyone could like that, especially being in your mid 20s. The more you got to know Jack, the more you got to see that he also had his quirky and dorky ways about him, but unlike you, he could turn them off and become this sexy and smooth person. You were envious of that, feeling like maybe Jack would prefer someone more sexy and less... well, not sexy.

"What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?" He spoke the words against your forehead as he held you tightly to him. You shook your head, cuddling closer into his chest as your brain played out another explicit scene.

"Well, do you want to know what's going on in my head?" You shook your head again, not knowing where he was going with this. "Too bad, I'm gonna tell you anyway," he chuckled.

"I'm thinking about how sexy you looked tonight at dinner. I'm thinking about how that dress hugged your body so good, hugging all your curves," his hands ran along your body slowly, accentuating his words, your breathing picking up as you shut your eyes.

"I'm thinking about how this ass looked so good in that fucking dress," his voice was deeper, his hands reaching down to the fleshy mounds, shifting you so you now straddled his lap, immediately hiding your face in his neck again.

"I'm thinking about how badly I wanted to fuck you. I wanted to fuck you against the front door before we left, in the car on our way there, hell I wanted to fuck you right at that dinner table in the restaurant." He spoke the words so casually, his lips close to your ear, his breath making you shiver, "I've wanted to fuck you this entire night, baby," he confessed, "and then we come back and you're running around my house in this sad excuse for pajamas," you know exactly what he's talking about. Your silk tank top and shorts barely covered anything, but it was all you had clean and you were in a rush to pack a bag to spend the weekend with Jack.

"You've been teasing me all night, really testing my self control. But you wanna know what's really been testing me?" You shook your head again, making him chuckle. "Your eyes." His voice dangerously low in your ear. "You've been giving me those pretty little "fuck me" eyes the whole damn night." You felt your mouth dry at his words, you hadn't realized you were being so obvious.

"Is that what you want, baby? You want me to fuck you?" His head nudged the side of yours, his hands still rubbing against your ass and thighs. You took a deep breath, nodding your head slowly, not having the courage to look up at him.

"Too bad I'm not gonna fuck you." He sighed dramatically, making you pull back and look at him in disbelief. There was no way he was going to work you up like this and then pull the rug out from under you.

"Wh-why not?" You were disappointed at his admission.

"Because... I'm going to make love to you instead." He said with a smile on his face, making you roll your eyes at his silliness, pushing his shoulder as you let out a giggle.

"That wasn't funny, Harlow." Replacing your smile with a faux pout.

"I just wanted to get you out of your head, babe. It's just me and you here, there's nothing to be shy about." His hand came up to cup your cheek, you nuzzled into his warm palm as you gazed at him lovingly. He was honestly the sweetest and most patient person you'd ever met. Ever since you two had gotten together, he was always so attentive to you, making sure that you always felt comfortable and secure.

"I'm glad it's you, Jack." You whisper to him.

"I'm glad you chose me, baby," he whispered back, pulling your face to his for a sweet kiss. You sighed against his lips, your hands resting comfortably on his shoulders as you just took a moment to think about what was about to happen. You smiled against his lips, his own lips pulling into a smile as you two pulled away to look at each other. You blushed a bit and he quickly pecked your nose, before pulling away to grab his phone. His thumb quickly moved across the screen for a moment before you heard music playing softly through the speakers, then the lights dimming as he swiped the screen slowly. He placed the phone on the nightstand, his full attention back on you now.

"Sorry about that. Had to set the mood for my girl. Do you want anything? Anything to make you feel more comfortable?" He was so sincere as he asked, but you shook your head unsure of what else to do. You honestly weren't sure what one would need to feel comfortable. You, of course, weren't dense and you knew about the ins and outs of sex, but you didn't have any personal experience.

"Don't worry, we'll take it slow, okay?" You nodded again, feeling too nervous to speak. "Let's get you back out of that pretty little head of yours. I know just what to do." He smiled at you, pulling you back in for a kiss, his skillful lips effectively relaxing you. He pushed you down on your back, laying your head down on the plush pillows. He used one arm to keep himself hovering above you, his other hand slowly caressing your waist. Your hands were in his curls, pulling and tugging on the soft ringlets, making him groan.

He pulled away, his lips leaving wet kisses down your exposed neck and collarbones before pulling away to lift his shirt up over his head, tossing it elsewhere. You took a few shy glances at him, but kept looking away.

"It's okay, you can look. Hell, you can touch too if you want." He winked, making you giggle. You worked up the courage to really take in his torso, reaching out your hands to trace along the contours of his upper body: his arms, his shoulders, his chest, down to his stomach and the waistband of his shorts. You take a glance up at his face, a smirk on his lips as he watched you, making you blush and look away, pulling your hands away from him and covering your face with your arm

"Hey, nothing to be shy about. I'm all yours, baby." He says, pulling your arm down. "All yours tonight." He places a kiss on your cheek. "Tomorrow." A kiss on your other cheek. "The day after that." A kiss to your nose. "And the day after that." He now peppers kisses all over your face, once again pulling you out of your shell, his facial hair tickling your skin and making you giggle. He pulled away to let you both breathe, the two of you lightly out of breath.

"Just so you know, I'm nervous too." He says shyly, making you look at him in disbelief. Jack? Nervous? Impossible.

"I know what you're thinking, but yeah, I am nervous. I've never been with someone I love this much before, and I really want to make this the best possible experience for you." He confesses. "I'm nervous about fucking it up somehow." He chuckles, a blush creeping across his cheeks.

"Like you said, it's just me and you tonight, J." You reassure him, lacing your hand in his and giving it a squeeze. He smiles at you, leaning down to capture your lips again. Your actions were slow, really taking your time to taste one another and unwind.

"I think it's unfair that I'm the only one topless here." He teases once you two pull apart, his fingers playing with the strap of your tank top before pulling it down a bit. He wasn't in a hurry, but he wanted to test the waters with you. He trailed kisses across your chest and shoulder, his lips brushing against the top of your sensitive breast. Jack brought a hand to your waist, above the silk of your top, and slowly crept it up to under your breast, not going further until he felt your hand in his hair tight and your back arch. He took the cue and cupped your breast and gave it a squeeze, making you moan. He brought his tongue across the exposed flesh that bulged out of the tank top before leaning down to capture your pebbled nipple through the fabric.

"Jack," you gasped, squeezing the hand that was still intertwined with yours on the bed. You'd never felt anything like that before, the warm wetness of his mouth, even over the fabric, was enough to have you moaning. Jack couldn't get enough of the noises coming from your mouth, each sound egging him on more and more.

"More Jack, please," you begged. You pulled your hand out of his hair, pulling down the top of your tank, revealing yourself to him and he took no time to capture the puckered nub into his mouth. The previous sensations with a silk barrier were nothing compared to the texture of his tongue as it lapped at your chest, the sharp tugs of his teeth and sucking of his lump lips had you dazed. You couldn't think, your head cloudy with the new experience and you just wanted more of it, pushing his head against your chest, making him chuckle against you.

"Did my pretty girl like that?" He hummed as he pulled away, earning a sound of protest from your lips. You were left exposed as he pushed away from you slightly, observing your disheveled state—hair messy, eyes wild, skin flushed, one breast out of your now twisted tank top. He was in awe of you. You, on the other hand, felt shy; your hand moving to adjust your tanktop and preserve your modesty, but his free hand captured yours and pulled it to rest on the bed near your head.

"There's no need to hide, baby. It's just me. I already love you clothed, now I just want to love you naked too." His words made your heart skip. The two of you had exchanged "I love yous" about a week or so ago, and you weren't sure if you'd ever get used to hearing those three words coming from his lips. Every time you did, it felt like a dream that you never wanted to wake up from.

"I love you too." You said, looking up at him prettily, making Jack groan.

"Say that again while looking at me like that, and I'll cum right here in my pants." He joked, making you giggle, puckering your lips to let him know you wanted another kiss, which he happily obliged. You let go of both of your hands that were intertwined with his, cupping his face and running your hands through his beard, loving the feel of it under your fingertips.

After a moment, you pulled away from his lips breathless, resting your head on his as you kept your eyes closed for a moment. You took a deep breath before pushing against his shoulders as you followed him to a sitting up position. You grabbed the hem of your tank top, peeling it away from your body with the intention of tossing it elsewhere, but you pulled it back to cover yourself once more. You looked up at Jack with wide eyes, your nerves shooting back up at the thought of being topless in front of a man for the first time. You opened your mouth but closed it again, unsure of what you even wanted to say in that moment.

"It's okay, baby. It's just me, just Jack." He reassured you. "You don't have to take it off if you don't want to, you can put it back on. Whatever you're comfortable with." His hand came to rub your arm that was held tightly against your chest. You shook your head. You really wanted to do this, you wanted to be vulnerable with him.

"C-can I have another kiss?" You asked shyly, your eyes almost teary, making him pout at your nervousness.

"You can have whatever you want, baby." He promised, cupping your cheeks and delivering a kiss worthy of an Oscar in hopes of comforting you. It was a kiss that had you forgetting all of your insecurities, your arms abandoning their post against your chest, dropping the silk as you leaned up and climbed into Jack's lap, your arms wrapping around his neck, your chest pressed right to his. A deep groan left his throat, exciting you as you continued to kiss him like your life depended on it. You enjoyed the feeling of skin against skin, finally feeling his warmth without any barriers, his soft chest hair tickling you as you pressed yourself harder against him, distinctly aware of the bulge you felt against your inner thigh.

You felt his hands leave your face, slowly making their way down your neck and shoulders, feeling their way across your back and waist, coming over to your sides to brush your hips and stomach, before creeping up to cup your breasts again. You pull away, enjoying his nimble ministrations, your head falling back as you ignore every insecure thought and just enjoyed the feeling of his touch. He watched you pull away from his body, your hands steady on his shoulders as you bared your torso to him, his eyes feasting on what no other man has ever.

"You're so beautiful baby, beyond beautiful." His words were quiet, as if he was in disbelief that someone could be so beautiful. You blushed, but resisted the urge to cover yourself again. You squeezed your eyes tight as you felt his fingers begin tracing the outline of your upper body, leaving no part of you untouched. His lips met yours quickly, before placing another kiss on your chin, then across your jaw, down the column of your neck to the front of your throat, and down your sternum. You felt him stop between your breasts, the two mounds cupped in each hand as he brought them together, his face nuzzled between the flesh as he blew raspberries, making you giggle and push him away.

"You did not just do that!"

"I've been wanting to motorboat these titties since I saw them in that top you wore on our first date." You recalled the black velvet corset top you wore, the stiff underwire basically had your boobs pushed up to your chin. You were adamant that it was inappropriate, but your friends vetoed your request to wear something else.

"Happy now?" You laughed, looking down at him from your perch on his lap.

"Very! But, I think I'm gonna be an even happier man by the end of the night." He winked, a finger tugging at the waistband of your pajama shorts before letting it snap back against you. You blushed, looking away from him, feeling nervous all over again.

"Lay back for me baby." He gently commanded. His hand on the small of your back guiding you back down to the bed, your heart racing at the thought of what was about to happen.

"Are we gonna... now?" You ask nervously, feeling embarrassed about even asking.

"No, baby, not yet. I gotta make sure you're ready for me, just relax." You released a sigh, not necessarily of relief, but a sigh nonetheless.

"Just trust me, okay. Can you do that?" You nodded.

"Uh-uh, I need to hear it." He insisted.

"I trust you, J."

"Good." He hadn't realized how much of an affect hearing you say you trusted him would have on him. He smiled, warmth blooming in his chest. He took this very seriously, wanting to make sure your first time was perfect.

He leaned down, pressing a few kisses to your chest before moving down to capture your nipple in his mouth again, his other hand giving attention to the other, massaging, pinching and tugging. He wanted you to get lost in the sensations like you did the first time, and he could tell by your body language and moans that he had accomplished just that. He pulled his mouth away, moving slowly down your stomach and navel, placing open mouth kisses on the exposed skin. His fingers gently played with the band of your shorts, his eyes looking up to try and meet yours but your eyes were closed and head turned away.

He made the executive decision to continue, slowly peeling down the silk fabric, noticing the soaked patch along the inner seam, the fabric darkened with your desire for him. His actions were slow, giving you the chance to stop him at any time, but instead you lifted your hips up to assist him in his task. You allowed him to pull the fabric away, your thighs pressed together as you attempted to hide yourself from him. He discarded the fabric, coming to lay beside you, two of his fingers coming to rest under your chin and guide your face back to his. Your eyes remain closed, and he took a moment to look at your face, pouting at the thought that you were uncomfortable with him seeing you.

"Open your eyes, pretty girl." He whispered to you, his hand caressing your cheek. You shook your head.

"C'mon, let me see those pretty eyes." He asked again, placing a kiss on each eyelid, your lashes tickling his lips. Your eyes fluttered open, a little teary because of your nerves. He grabbed your hand, holding it in his as he brought it up to his chest, over his heart which was beating fast.

"I'm nervous too. It's perfectly normal." You were still baffled that Jack could feel nervous, he was always so confident in everything he did, it was something you admired about him. You just nodded in response before pulling your intertwined hands away from his chest, putting them on your navel and guiding it lower. You unclamped your thighs, relaxing a bit as you both watched your hand guide his between your legs. You widened your legs a bit, allowing him more space as you let his hand go, your hand now simply resting on his forearm as you allowed him to explore your most sacred space.

You scooted closer to him, resting your head on his arm that he used to keep himself up, your free hand pulling him down to kiss him again. You felt two fingers slide between your folds, slipping through with the ease of your slick. You both moaned at the feeling: you at his fingers rubbing against your sensitive flesh and him at the warm wetness that he was excited to feel wrapped around him. His fingers were slow and gentle, just rubbing your mound, his ring and middle between your folds with his forefinger and pink on the outside. He paid attention to every sound you made as you two kissed, adjusting his speed or pressure to see what reactions he could elicit from you.

He was cautious as he dipped his middle finger inside you, slowly pressing the digit inside you, your wet walls welcoming it with ease. His motions were slow and you didn't have much of a reaction, so he decided to add a second, his ring finger pressing in as well. This time you gasped at the sensation, the two fingers filling you in a way you hadn't felt before. It was different than your own fingers, two of his feeling like 3 of yours. You moaned at the feeling, his fingers curling against the spongy ceiling of your core repeatedly

"Oh, Jack," you moaned, your head pressing into his bicep as you pulled away from his lips to breathe. You nodded, biting your lip to stop another moan as he used his thumb to apply pressure to your clit.

"Jack, please," you felt that familiar knot in your stomach, stronger than you had ever felt it when it was just you alone. You gripped his forearm, scared he'd pull away. You widen your legs, shifting your hips to the rhythm of his fingers.

"I've got you, angel." He applied just a bit more pressure, keeping the same steady pace as he listened to every one of your moans get louder until you let out a breathless cry, your back arching as your thighs clamped around his hand. He kept his fingers moving inside you, his fingers feeling the gush of wetness your orgasm released.

Your breathing was heavy, your body buzzing from your orgasm. It wasn't your first orgasm, not at all, but it was your first given to you by someone else and it felt better than anything you'd ever felt before. You opened your eyes to see Jack watching you in adoration, making you blush and look away with a shy smile. He chuckled a bit, pulling his hand from between your legs.

"Have you ever tasted yourself?" You shook your head. You never thought about it before. He brought his now soaked fingers to your lips and you hesitantly took just the tips between your lips, tasting the bland fluid before pulling away with a scrunched face. It didn't taste like much, a bit salty in your opinion. He chuckled and took the digits fully between his lips, moaning at the taste.

"I can't wait to taste you properly." He stated, pulling away to move down your body, but you reached out to stop him, slightly uncomfortable with the thought of having him eat you out.

"Jack... not this time?" Your statement came out more like a shy question.

"Sure, angel. Whatever you want." He was quick to reassure you that you were in charge. "Next time." He promised with a wink, making your face burn at the thought.

"You know," you cleared your throat, "It's unfair that I'm the only one naked." You pointed out, snapping the waistband of Jack's basketball shorts against his hip as he had done to you earlier.

"I couldn't agree more! Where are my manners, princess," he was eager to get naked, jumping up from the bed to take off the final barrier. He jumped back into bed, making you bounce and giggle at his theatrics.

"Better?" He wiggled his eyebrows at you, completely exposed without a single care in the world. You lowered your gaze to your hands in your lap, bashful to take a peek of what the fabric had held covered all this time.

"You can look, you know. I don't mind. I'm all yours." He reassured you. You looked up at his face for a moment, his smile was kind and reassuring. You slowly allowed your eyes to trail down his body, gasping once you saw his hard dick, both long and wide. You glanced back at him with wide eyes, nervous of how that was meant to fit inside you. You had obviously seen a dick, granted not in person, but you've seen them nonetheless. Your girlfriends always reassured you that the size of dicks in real life were significantly smaller than the intimidating ones in porn. But here laid Jack, with a dick big enough to have its own category in porn.

"I..., is that...,will it...," you couldn't form a sentence as you tried to look away from it, but couldn't. It was pretty, almost mesmerizing as you watched it bob under its own heavy weight. You looked back up at Jack, a proud smirk on his face.

"Don't worry, it'll fit." He winked, reading your mind and answering your most pressing question. He got up on his knees, coming to sit in front of you so you could get a closer look. You took a moment to gaze upon the naked male figure in all its glory; Jack truly looked sculpted, carved from the finest marble. You'd never seen a naked man in person, but you were glad that Jack was the first.

"Can I...?" You glanced down at his length and back up at his eyes. He nodded and smiled encouragingly. You started your descent from his shoulders, getting up on your knees in front of him for better leverage. Your hands working their way down the contours of his body, tracing the veins and muscular outlines until you reached his happy trail. You skipped touching his dick, opting to massage both of his thighs, feeling the powerful muscles under your hands. You finally found the courage to trace a finger from the base to the tip, swirling your finger around the bulbous head making Jack hiss at the sensitivity.

"I'm sorry!" You pulled your hand away, but he brought it back, encouraging you to hold the base of him.

"It's okay, it's just sensitive. Just be gentle." He informed you. You held him in your palm, handling him gently as instructed. You didn't do much, afraid of hurting him in some way, but you stroked him a bit, enjoying the way eyes closed and he groaned. You pulled your hand away from him, gently laying it on his thigh as his eyes reopened.

"You're really pretty, Jack." You shyly complement, referring to the face he made when you were pleasuring him just moments ago.

"Not as pretty as you, my love." He smiled and pulled you in for a short kiss. He pushed you back against the bed, reaching over to his night stand to grab a small foil packet. You lifted yourself on your elbows and watched him with curiosity as he opened the wrapper, positioning it on the head of his dick. You reached out your hand, placing it on the latex and attempting to roll it down, but you were unsuccessful alone, looking at an amused Jack for assistance as he helped guide your fingers to lower the rubber down his length.

"Thank you, my little assistant." He teases as he came to hover over you again. "Hmm, maybe we can role play that some day." He mused, making you giggle and roll your eyes. By now you knew that he was just trying to keep you out of your head with a few jokes.

"You ready, angel?" He asked you with soft eyes. You nodded to him, but you knew that he would want to hear you say it.

"I trust you." You reminded him again, ready to take this next step with him. Jack lowered himself between your legs, you found a comfortable position with them on either side of his waist. You felt him rub himself between your folds, the abundance of slick coating him to aid in his insertion. You felt the bulbous head press at your entrance, pressing and pulling back a few times before finally pressing in at a slow pace. You closed your eyes as you felt Jack's forehead rest against yours.

"You're doing so well, baby. So good." He whispered, his lips grazing yours as he spoke the words. You tried to keep your breathing steady, focusing on his words as he spoke to you. There was a stinging as he stretched you open, your body tensing at the foreign intrusion, causing Jack to pause.

"You just gotta relax f'me, okay?" His words were strained as he fought the urge to bury himself in your wet heat. He'd waited months for this, willingly and happily of course, but nonetheless waited months to experience this. He placed kisses around your face, kissing away the lone tear from the corner of your eye.

"So... you come here often?" He joked, making you choke out a giggle at his silliness. Only Jack could make the most intimate and vulnerable moment of your life light and easy. Once your fit of giggles died down, Jack decided to test the waters and press in further, pressing in to about the halfway point before he heard a pained cry escape your lips.

"I know, baby, I'm sorry. If I could take the pain away, I would." He promised, you nodded your head against his, knowing that he meant every word of it. You kept your eyes closed, your face scrunched as you felt the girth of him stretch you open.

"Just keep going, J. It's okay." You told him.

"We can wait, there's no rush."

"No, Jack. Just do it, please. I want to get this part over with." You weren't sure what was worse, the burn of the stretch or sitting in anticipation. You'd rather just rip the bandaid and get it over with.

"Please, Jack. I want to feel you." You looked up at him with pleading eyes. You knew he was hesitant about hurting you, he hated that he's already hurt you and hated the fact that he was about to do it again. He nodded, leaning down to kiss you as he slid the rest of the way in, making you cry out. He was swift with his movements, pressing in fully and groaning at the feeling, his thighs shaking as he ducked to nuzzle into your neck. He felt guilty that what brought him intense pleasure also brought you pain. He pulled away from your neck, pressing a kiss to your cheek and asking if you were okay, you just nodded and looked away from him.

He rested his head on your cheek, the two of you panting in each other's embrace before he moved to capture your lips with his. His arms came to cradle you to his body, kissing you passionately. As your body relaxed you began moving against the pressure inside you, rocking your hips gently. Jack pulled his head away from you, watching your face as you continued to move your hips; your eyes were shut, brows furrowed, mouth in an O shape as you took in the foreign sensations between your legs. You felt Jack nudge his nose against yours, getting your attention, your eyes fluttering open to meet his.

"You okay, princess?" His eyes searched yours. You nodded and smiled at him, your hips finding a rhythm that felt good as you continued to rock against him.

"I wanna feel you, Jack." You shyly whispered, not knowing how to ask him to move. He took your hint, pulling back his hips just a bit before pushing back into you, the two of you moaning. He continued like that, each thrust pulling out a little further, pushing in a little harder, testing the waters, carefully analyzing your reactions.

"Oh God, Jack," you couldn't help but moan in his ear. You had never felt something like this, the fullness of him inside you reaching a place you truly didn't know existed. You had heard about sex, read about sex, watched it, but nothing could compare to the actual feeling of it. The connection, physical, emotional, spiritual, was indescribable. You held on to Jack as he expertly worked your body, angling your hips as he continued thrusting and grinding a place so deep inside you. Each thrust wound the coil in your abdomen up tighter and tighter, his lips attacking any exposed skin that he could kiss, his hands caressing your body in a way no man had ever done before. It was all enough to have you crashing over the edge, a fire licking its way from your core to the tips of your fingers and toes, waves crashing over you again and again, your body drowning yet your spirit being brought to life all at the same time.

You held on to him, your legs wrapping around his waist, arms around his neck as you tried to catch your breath. You were sensitive all over, your body shaking and twitching with what felt truly like electricity. As you regained your awareness, you let your muscles relax, slowly releasing him and letting your limbs collapse onto the bed. You felt Jack pull out of you, falling over to your side as he pulled you close to his sweaty body, a kiss delicately placed to your forehead as he caught his breath.

You looked at his beautiful face, his skin completely flushed as he laid there with closed eyes. You watched him for a bit before having a curious thought.

"Jack?" You called to him. He just hummed in acknowledgment. "Did..., did you, um..., uh-," you weren't sure how to ask him.

"I did," he chuckled, opening his eyes to look at your curious face.

"You did?" Even though you felt embarrassed, you still wanted to make sure he was satisfied.

"Yeah, baby. You were probably too into your own orgasm to realize I came too." He teased, making you blush.

"Sorry," you apologized, feeling a little selfish for not paying more attention to him.

"No need to apologize, baby. Just means we've gotta do it again." He wiggled his eyebrows as he came to lay over you. You giggled, brushing his sweaty curls out of his face to kiss him.

"You did so good, angel. So proud of you." He whispered, his tone soft but serious. You blushed and thanked him, if it weren't for his patience, this experience could have gone in a completely different direction.

"So... what was that idea about you being my assistant, hm?" He teased, going back to his silly self and making you giggle.

#jack harlow #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow smut #jack harlow fic #jack harlow x reader

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 11 months ago

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Leon Day

Summary: The reader makes Dean breakfast on Leon Day and explains what the day is. While she has some fun things planned, Dean shares some of his own future plans with her...

Pairing: Dean x reader

Word Count: 1,000ish

Warnings: language, 15x20 finale spoiler (fic takes place post 15x20 though)

A/N: Enjoy!

_______

“Y/N,” said Dean, scratching his head when he came into the kitchen for breakfast. “I haven’t been in a coma lately right?”

“No...why would you ask that?” you said. Dean pointed behind him to the string lights hanging in the hall, colorful lights twinkling along the wall. “Oh that? It’s Leon day.”

“Who’s Leon?” he asked, padding over to his usual stool, yawning and curling into himself. You ruffled his hair and slid a cup of coffee in front of him.

“It’s June 25th. Exactly six months from Christmas,” you said.

“Is it Leon’s birthday?” he asked. “Whoever he is?”

“No silly,” you said, returning your attention to making pancakes.

“Can I have chocolate chips?” he asked. “Please.”

“Uh we’re out of chips but blueberries instead?” you asked, holding up the package.

“That’s fine,” he said, spinning in his seat. “So...lights?”

“Well Leon is Noel backwards and since it’s six months from Christmas it’s kinda like a mini-Christmas day,” you said.

“Never heard of it.”

“Well most people have never heard of a devil’s trap but that’s a thing that exists too,” you said. He hummed and sipped on his coffee, crossing his legs on his seat. He looked younger like that and you smiled, hoping he was in a good mood this morning. “I only decorated a little bit.”

“So it’s like Christmas? I didn’t get you any presents,” he said.

“We don’t have to do presents. It’s more about, doing things together, making cookies, having a nice dinner together. Maybe take a day off from hunting,” you said. You put your back to him and finished with his pancakes, dropping some fresh blueberries on top for him when you were all done. You hummed and slid the plate in front of him, giving him a fork and knife along with a glass of water.

“I uh, actually wanted to talk to you about hunting. Sam and I saw something online,” he said. You sighed and poured more batter into the pan.

“A new case?” you asked, forcing a smile into your voice.

“This big house in Lawrence. Not obnoxiously big but it’s big, big enough for like eight people I’d say,” he said.

“Is it haunted?” you said, watching the batter bubble and begin cooking.

“It’s for sale. We were thinking of buying it. He was gonna talk to Eileen and I said I’d talk to you about it.”

“About…”

“Buying it,” said Dean. You turned and frowned at him, Dean shoveling his second pancake into his mouth. “What?”

“First off, chew. Second, why would you guys buy a house? You’re not suddenly going to become the Property Brothers are you?”

“No silly. The house would be for us. Obviously we’d ward the shit out of it but yeah, house. What do you think?”

“Why would we get a house?” you asked. Dean rolled his eyes and you put the rest of the pancakes on a plate, bringing them over and taking a seat beside him. “Like, is there something wrong with the bunker?”

“Nothing wrong with her. But Jack and Cas are up working in heaven and the world’s not so scary...and I did have a house in heaven when I was there.”

“You still haven’t told me about whatever space time continuum crap you broke in order to be back from the dead.”

“Jack just said it was alright so I’m back and considering you weren’t up in Heaven like we all thought you were, we all decided on a do over. I missed you and I liked that house but I want you in that house with me.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying...let’s go live in a house and maybe I hunt every once in a while, maybe I run point for some other hunters, if we decide to go that route. Maybe I do something different for work. But I’m also saying, I like waking up and having pancakes and having random holidays and being happy and I can decide to do what I want, for me. I want a warm happy house with my family. You can decorate it for whatever holidays you want if I can have that.”

“We can have that,” you said quietly. You reached over and he already was meeting you there, hugging you with a happy sigh. “You’re really ready to leave all this behind?”

“We can always come visit this place. But I think our family should grow up the way we didn’t get to. We deserve that at the very least.”

“And you said you didn’t get any presents,” you said, holding him tight.

“I may have known you were planning this,” he teased. “I waited a little longer to share the news than I was hoping to but I figured you wouldn’t mind your Leon day present.”

“No, no I don’t,” you said. He kissed you and grinned before he hopped up. He dug around in the pantry and pulled out a bag of peppermint white chocolate chips. “Well now you’re just bragging.”

“I heard we were making cookies,” he said, dropping them on the counter. “Later though. After my yummy breakfast.”

“After your breakfast,” you said, kissing his cheek. “Love you. Best mini Christmas ever.”

“Love you too sweetheart. This Christmas you’ll have a whole house to decorate. Think you can handle that?”

“Absolutely. As long as I get some help?”

“Yeah I think you can swing that,” he said. He kissed your temple and hummed, throwing an arm over your shoulder. “So where’s my present in all this? I mean, I got a house and like a life changing decision for you and I got pancakes?”

“You fucking love pancakes,” you said.

“Guilty as charged,” he said.

“I’ll make you them every single day if you want, how’s that sound?”

“Every single day?” he hummed.

“For the next week.” He chuckled and nodded. “Love you.”

“Love you back Dean.”

___________

#spn #supernatural #dean x reader #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean x you #dean x #dean #dean fanfic #dean winchester fanfic #spn fanfic #supernatural fanfic

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dragonrider9905 · 1 year ago

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Infectious Love

Summery: After a failed, almost confession of love, you and Hunter's relationship is skating on thin ice...that is, until someone falls through (or gets stabbed in the gut), so to speak.

Warnings: Angst, lots of it, but comfort too. Lots of emotions. Mentions of blood and sickness.

Hellooooooooo @imaginesfordifferentfandoms tis I, your Secret Santa in the @cloneficgiftexchange!!!!! I really, really, hope you like it. I worked really hard on it ;D So I hope it turned out the way I imagined it in my head ;D Enjoy this kinda longish drabble XD Hehehehe now you understand all the questions I asked. I hope you don't mind I went with Hunter. You seemed to not mind any of them; he's my favorite so I know I can get carried away :D and I wanted to make sure the story was nice! Also, I gave Hunter's scarf a destiny. A fate. A sense of purpose. We now know what happened to it. I have spoken.

Furthermore, I'd like to throw a huge shout out to some people who deserve it. Firstly, @ghostofskywalker. Thank you so much for organizing this event and all the other ones like it. They are always so much fun and I enjoy them immensely. It is safe to say the others who join feel the same way. Thank you for all the hard work you put into it all! Also, thank you to @photogirl894 for being an awesome beta reader and supportive friend. I don't know if I would have finished this fic on time if she hadn't helped me through all the rough spots by her encouraging words. Bestie, you read everything but the ending...I hope you like it <3

The decree is written, now, let the story unfold.

“As a father, you couldn’t ask for a better place to raise a child.”

You’d heard Shep say these words to Hunter your first day on Pabu, and you had to admit, it made your heart flutter a little bit. You’d fallen hard for Hunter a long time ago but duty always got in the way. At first, you hadn’t realized just how much you cared for him during the Clone War, serving as their medic, until Hunter received a shot in the chest. It was then that you realized, or rather were honest with yourself, that your friendship was always more than just a friendship. Almost losing him gave you a clarity and an honesty with yourself that you needed, but that didn’t make things easy. In fact, they made them harder.

Because now you knew how YOU felt, but you had NO IDEA how he felt. Every day, you’d face a new challenge, a new battle, overcome insurmountable odds against the Separatists on top secret missions and won. Every night, you’d have a heart to heart with Hunter, talking about things that made him laugh, made you laugh, things that made you cry, or things that upset him.

But never unburying that heavy secret locked away in your heart.

You considered yourself brave in many aspects but not when it came to problems with the heart. You could tell Hunter anything and everything, except how you felt about him. Instead, you’d find little things every day to show him you loved him. You’d fix his caf the way he liked it, you’d make sure the others were considerate of his sense, you listened to him when he wanted to rant, you showed him you trusted him. You were his shoulder to lean on, his unofficial right hand man. Technically, Crosshair filled those shoes but not always. You tried to be the head of reason when the boys fought and patched them up when they were done arguing.

Then the Clone War ended with fateful Order 66. Your world turned upside down and even though circumstances were different, your situation was the same.

That secret would have to be pried out of your cold dead hands.

You’d been on the run, constantly in fear for your lives and that of the child in your care. You’d started to love her as your own daughter, and you could see Hunter did too. You’d seen Hunter with Cut and Suu’s children before, but somehow, this was different. He’d cared for her as a father would. And that made your heart melt more than you ever thought it could.

Now, here on Pabu, having something that resembled peace and a chance at a life, was it time? Could you actually have the dream you despaired of. The dream which was a nightly comfort but in the morning seemed unreachable as something you thought you couldn’t hope for?

Shep’s words teased you. Taunted you. Pried at you.

Perhaps, perhaps it was time to open your heart?

“So have you reconsidered staying?”

“For soldiers, putting down roots is an occupational hazard.”

“Is that all you are? Soldiers?”

You’d seen the thoughtful look on Hunter’s face. It was the one he made when he was considering something. There was no contention, just thoughtful pondering.

Somehow, some way, that moment spurred you and you worked up the courage.

Hunter sat in the cockpit, swirling his knife. You approached and leaned against the door. You’d love to sit there and watch that for hours. You smiled a little to yourself, waiting for him to recognize your presence so as to not scare him into a mistake (not that he’d ever but…better be safe than sorry.)

“Echo said he’s on his way. Will be here in a few rotations.” he said without looking up. “Omega will be glad to see him.”

“Yeah, she misses him, the poor kid.”

Sheaving his knife, he turned to you.

“So, what can I help you with?”

“Oh, you know, just checking in on my Sargeant. You’ve been in here all day.” You placed some fruit native to Pabu in front of him. You never could remember the name, but you’d noticed he liked them.

“Thanks,” he gave half a smile while you took the seat next to him. “What kind of trouble are Wrecker and Omega getting into?”

“Ohhhh probably best not to know right now. Just enjoy the few moments of peace while you can.”

He chuckled and cut into the fruit.

“Soooooo” your heart pounded. You were actually going to do it. You got this…just had to breathe and remain steady, it’d be ok.

Hunter gave you a side eye, silently offering you a piece of the fruit. Kriff, he can tell. You tried to slow your heart best you could.

“So.” He prompted you.

You laughed. “I heard Shep the other day. Something about settling down…ever think about it?”

He sighed. “More than you know. I honestly don’t know what to do about it. I’d like to but… It’s … complicated.”

“Ever think about marrying a pretty woman and having a family? Raising Omega somewhere safe where she’d be happy…”

He huffed a little.

“Who’d I marry? Please don’t suggest the woman Wrecker’s friend was trying to set me up with.”

At the words, the muscles in your face felt heavy and turned sour. The twinkle in your eye went out and the joy in your demeanor dissolved.

An empty smile remained on your face. No indication to the outsider that anything had changed. But Hunter wasn’t an outsider. He knew you inside and out.

Who’d I marry? You weren’t even a consideration. You weren’t on the list. Of course you wouldn’t be. It’d be foolish for you to think that. Why’d you hope in the first place? You should have known better.

Swallowing hard, you bit back tears and forced a laugh.

You had Hunter’s full attention now. He sat up straight and leaned forward a bit.

He immediately sensed the change of demeanor. Your heart rate plummeted but beat hard. Your focus was gone, staring into nothing. Even if it was just for a millisecond, he’d have noticed it, but it lasted longer than that.

Your hollow laugh filled the cabin.

He knew he messed up.

Hunter moved to speak again but it was too late. You’d gotten up and moved toward the door.

“Well um, I should go check on Omega and Wrecker and see what they’re up to before they do too much damage. Yeah, yeah…”

The next moment you were out of the cabin and down the ramp without a second look behind you.

Kriff. He had to fix this.

He almost went after you. He almost made it out the ship, but an incoming transmission stopped him. This could be the one he was waiting for. He looked longingly out to where he saw you hugging yourself, making your way slowly across the shipyard, and went back inside the ship.

Kark it all. This’d better be important, Echo.

Tech was gone. Omega was taken. Crosshair a prisoner. Echo abandoned them, again. It was just you, Wrecker and Hunter now. A ship once filled to bursting with life and light, warm with the love and laughter shared between its walls, was now cold with an emptiness, a magnanimous devoid maw that the ship had never known before.

Tech was dead. Crosshair was gone. Omega was taken.

He was lost.

Hunter might as well have added you to the list of lost as well, because even though you were physically on the ship, you weren’t with him. You were distant. Gone. In every way possible other than physical. You’d done your best to keep Wrecker and himself together. You’d been the same insurmountable strength you’d always been for them to lean on. You were being the strong one for them because you knew they couldn’t right now. He was angry, frustrated, focused and lost all in one but didn’t know where to direct that energy. As always, you came through. You acted the same as how you did throughout the entire Clone War, except not. The actions were all there, but there was a lost life to it.

A lost love.

And it was his fault.

Though you were strong, you weren’t invincible.

During the day you’d serve them. Got them food, made sure they rested, used every resource imaginable to find the little lost loved one. You tried to make them laugh and smile if you could or focus on the task at hand. Completing small missions to get by was his bane, because all Hunter wanted to do was find Omega, but you brought him back to the present, reeled in his reckless side when it got to be too much. You kept track of the inventory and how and when to push on.

But every night he’d hear you silently cry yourself to sleep.

You’d go and comfort Wrecker, then you’d offer the best gesture you could to him to encourage him, then you’d retire to your bed, broken down by the day. Tired, exhausted, empty.

He saw it. And he caused it.

And he hated himself for it.

He’d lost you in a hasty, foolish sentence. One he’d said without much forethought. One he said because he was afraid if he’d said too much, or given any indication of the deeper feelings he had for you, you’d have rejected him and he’d lose you entirely. He thought he could be your friend. You deserved so much more. So much more than himself and what he could offer. He’d wanted to stay your friend so that way, even though he couldn’t have you, you’d be happy. He’d make sure that whoever he was, the man you’d marry would give you all the love he couldn’t.

Turns out he was wrong.

You did return his feelings and he broke you.

He should have gone after you, but he didn’t. He thought he’d have time. He thought he could do it when you’d return to the ship and he could sit down with you uninterrupted but he was wrong, so wrong. Echo arrived and in moments, though he didn’t know it, his life turned upside down. When the mission was declared, his focus turned to that.

He should have talked to you. He should have let you know how he felt.

But the manner of your hurt shifted. You were no longer hurt, but cold.

Perhaps you didn’t want him to love you anymore. He didn’t know what to do. So much was wrong. So much that shouldn’t have been, was now his reality.

In truth, you DID deserve more than him. Perhaps this was for the best. This hurt would pass and you’d meet the one you were supposed to be with. You could get over this fancy for him and live an actual life with someone else.

The thought made his stomach churn and threatened to vomit, but perhaps, that’s what was meant to be.

After all, sometimes to love someone you had to let them go. And Omega, she needed him right now, fully focused on nothing else but finding her.

It was late in the night watch, Hunter sat alone staring at the broken pair of goggles and a plush toy that belonged to the child of the ship. His child, not by blood but by choice.

Taken from him in a cruel twist of fate.

He closed his eyes and leaned back in the chair. Hunter wasn’t normally one for crying but he felt close to it now. He didn’t know what to do, but he knew Omega took priority over himself. He HAD to find her. Bring her home. Oh Force, what was Hemlock doing to her?

He felt his head start to pound and his brow furrowed.

It hurt so much to love. This was love, wasn’t it? After all, what would he know? All he knew of it was what was in the novels and holofilms…

Something cold touched his head and he jumped in surprise. Opening his eyes, he found you had taken a few steps back surprised, with a blanket and an ice pack in hand.

It didn’t go unnoticed you’d had the scent of fresh tears on your hands.

“I’m sorry, I thought you were in one of your uncomfortable sleep cycles.” You offered gently. “You looked like you had a headache so I brought you this.” You shook the ice pack.

Hunter sat up and rubbed his head. “I…can’t sleep.”

He looked down. It was so hard to keep your gaze. His throat tightened and tears sprung against his will. All he could do was sigh, long and heavy.

Hunter was silent, not knowing what to say. He tried opening his mouth a few times but closed it at every attempt, frustrated.

You slowly drew near him, considerate as you always were. Giving him a chance to stop you if he wanted or needed, but he didn’t. You crouched down in front of him and took his hands.

A shock of surprise sprung his head up immediately and sent a shiver through his body. His brain registered your hands were cold and instinctively he moved to warm them, covering them completely with his own. But his mind was fully focused on your face.

Your eyes glittered with unshed tears and your mouth had a half, crooked smile. A ghost of the one you’d had before. But there was something in your gaze he’d missed, he’d longed for.

It was ‘that’ look.

You hadn't looked at him like that in a long time.

There was a warmth and a love aflame. A gentleness that hadn’t been there these long past few weeks.

If eyes were truly the window to the soul, he’d seen that the embers were dying, but not gone.

You squeezed his hand.

“We’ll find her. I promise.”

There was such a conviction in your voice, determination. A rawness that almost freighted him. A testament to the power you had. The power of your will and spirit. The power of your determination. One of the reasons he loved you so much. One of the elements in your looks that he yearned to see again after missing it for so long.

He squeezed your hands.

“Thank you for everything.” He swallowed hard, voice now scratchy and sore.

You nodded and stood, pulling your hands from his. You placed the pack on his forehead and placed the blanket on him in two swift motions and made to go. You were fast, but not too fast for him. You’d tried to retreat, but Hunter jumped and grabbed your arms, centering you to himself.

A surprised look crossed your face and he saw you searching him, wondering.

“We need to talk.”

You looked away, tears starting to gather again, a breath catching in your throat wanting to break free.

Hunter cupped your face with his hand and slowly, softly turned your gaze back to him.

“Please.”

You nodded, but then looked away again.

“Ok, but not now.” Your voice was heavy and empty. That void look entered your eyes, extinguishing the flame that was there before.

“No, you should get some sleep, you look exhausted. You’re always looking after us. Tonight, take care of yourself, yeah?” He rubbed his thumb against your cheek, whipping away a tear that escaped. “Tomorrow.”

You nodded. “Tomorrow.”

Lifting the blanket you’d brought for him, Hunter placed it over your shoulders with a reassuring squeeze then turned back to his chair, cradling the ice pack to his forehead.

Tomorrow came, but started off all wrong. Emergency lights flashed and sirens blared. The Marauder made an emergency landing on the treacherous mountainous planet below. The hyperdrive malfunctioned and threw you out of hyperspace. It was a tumultuous, uncontrolled landing but Hunter managed with minimal damage to the exterior of the ship. The haul was a little banged up, but other than that, the smoking hyperdrive was the focus of your concern.

There was no Tech to fix the ship now. You were on your own.

“Do you think you can fix it?” Hunter looked at you worriedly. You’d helped Tech plenty of times in the past. You considered yourself pretty capable with all the training you received from him.

Taking a look around, you carefully considered.

“I think so, but it’s going to take time. This superficial stuff I’m not too worried about. We’ll have to make port somewhere soon anyway for supplies. We’re low on everything.” You’d been looking at the inventory the last few days and the lists were concerning. “I think we have enough credits to get by until we can do a job and earn more.” You rubbed your forehead. “I’ve been running numbers on how to keep ourselves sustained without needing to distract ourselves from our mission with a whole bunch of side missions anymore. I think it’ll work but you’re going to have to trust me. But I digress. I’ll patch up the hyperdrive which seems to be the main problem. I’ve got a weird feeling about this place, I don’t want to be here too long. Weather might not hold out for extensive repairs either.”

“Alright, we’ll discuss this when I get back. I’ll scout the area and see what we’re dealing with.” Hunter turned to leave, then paused. Half looking back he spoke: “And, I do. Trust you, I mean.”

With that he put his helmet on and shouted to Wrecker.

“Keep her safe. I’ll be right back.”

It’d been an hour. And Hunter wasn’t back.

Whipping the sweat from your forehead you heaved a big breath.

“I think that’ll do it Wreck. Where’s Hunt?”

Wrecker looked nervous. “Not back yet.”

You looked at your wrist chrono and raised your eyebrows in surprise. Highly unusual.

“Ok, I’ll go look for him. Protect the ship.”

“We should stay together.” Wrecker added quickly, “I’ll come with you.”

“I would like that too but at this moment that’s a luxury we can’t afford. We have to split up.”

Wrecker groaned. “Bad things ALWAYS happen when we split up.”

You softened and patted his shoulder comfortingly.

“I know, big guy, I know. But the less we argue, the sooner we get Hunt back.”

Wrecker paused and nodded. “Ok.” He sighed and took his place by the ramp of the ship. “And…..it’s good to hear you call Hunter, Hunt again…”he trailed off uncertainly, “but it’s kinda making me scared. You think he’s….?”

Your heart clenched in realization. You didn’t think how your hurt would shed and affect others. “Oh Wrecker….” You started but he stopped you.

“Aw Doc, I am just worried about ya. You two always meshed together, you know? So when you didn’t, and now get soft again…” He shook his head. “Get Hunter back, and everything will be ok, yeah?”

“Yeah, it will. I promise.” You started off your sentence quaking but with every word you found your conviction. It was time to go.

“I hope you two can work things out. I always liked it that way, ya know?”

You smiled, “Yeah I do actually, and I did too.”

“Well, do you think that … whatever happened…you two can fix it?”

Your smile faltered a little bit but Wrecker didn’t see that. Really, only Hunter would have been the one to notice.

“I’ll do my best.”

With one last nod to Wrecker, you set out.

You weren’t exceptional at tracking but Hunter taught you a thing or two.

It was time to bring Hunter home.

Hunter skirted the edge of the cliff carefully. His foot set a few loose rocks tumbling into the unknown. Knife unsheathed and corned against the endless void beneath him, he glared at his enemy. Hunter met these villains almost as soon as he left the ship. It didn’t take him long to realize their harmful intentions and led them away from the ship, hoping to buy you as much time as he could to fix the ship. He’d taken out ten of these bandits already, but this one was of a higher status, he could tell by the large hat he wore and more expensive weapons he possessed. He’d be more of a challenge but that would only make it more fun.

Hunter growled and lifted his knife in the ready. Blood and sweat dripped from his face from the few scratches and scrapes he had.

He was prepared for anything.

“Get away from him!” An agonized voice filled with terror screamed.

Your voice.

Hunter’s heart dropped to his stomach and for the first time since the crash, terror entered his veins. He was prepared for everything, except that.

Garnishing your blade, you swiped the air to show the mysterious stranger you were serious. “Leave him alone!”

Hunter’s throat closed up. You didn’t have your blaster, and while still decent with the blade, you weren’t ready for this yet. He hadn’t finished your training.

“Meshla, no!”

Hunter reached out, distracted only for a moment but a moment is all it took. In the second he tried to get in between you and the enemy, a kick to his stomach sent Hunter over the side

“Hunter!” You screamed after him in terror.

What you didn’t see was the flip he made or how he grappled onto the rock. If only you had the enhanced senses he did, you might have heard his hard breathing, the uneven sob, and the continuous prayer that somehow you could live long enough for him to get to you.

His heart pounded. He wanted to call for you but that’d only make things worse for you. He grunted as silently as he could. He had to get to you.

He heard your angry grunts, the slices of knives through the air, missing their marks. He heard you yelling unintelligibly and savagely. The man’s gleeful laughter.

Your painful cry.

Those were some of the longest seconds of his life. What happened? He tried to climb faster but the rock was so slippery.

Watching Hunter get shot. Finding him shot again in the same place all this time later by Cad Bane, and now seeing Hunter tumble over the edge was more than you could handle. Anger like you’d never felt it bubbling all over you, tingling your fingers and guiding your blade’s every movement with hardened focus.

No, you couldn’t lose him like this. You wouldn’t. The man was quick, practiced. But you’d had a good teacher. Now wasn’t the time to doubt. Sure, you wished your blaster had survived the raid on Ord Mantel but there was nothing you could do about that except replace it when you made port.

You tumbled, dived, parried. This demon wouldn’t win. He made a hit on your arm and you cried out. The evil, smug smile he had was enough to refocus you instantly. Jumping for him unexpectedly, you caught him by surprise. You pushed your entire body against his in a close roll.

And your blade found a home in his heart.

Breathing hard, it took you a moment to realize…you’d won. You defeated him! Hunter would be so proud.

Hunter!

Diving for the cliff, you slid toward the edge.

“Hunter? Hunter!”

Hunter looked up at you, face hidden behind his visor but all the emotions were spilling from his mouth. “Are you ok? Mesh’la, what the karking hells?”

“Grab my hand!” Ignoring him, you reached down. “I’ll pull you up.”

Hunter clasped your hand but you let out a cry of agony. Collapsing in a heaping pile. You were shaking but your grip held firm.

“Mesh’la…”

“Don’t you dare let go. Don’t you dare.” Your demand was dry and forceful, but fear spilled from every word. “Please.” Your plea was soft, broken.

“Alright.” He tightened his grip.

Tears streamed down your face as you panted, hulling him up. Hunter seemed so heavy. You’d done exercises like this before and it was a lot easier. Hunter seemed to notice your lack of strength too.

You pulled and heaved and scooted and rolled until you managed to get his body over the lump. Immediately, Hunter started his barrage on you in between heaving breaths of his own.

“What were you thinking? Don’t you know you could have gotten yourself killed?”

You got to your feet and brushed yourself off, head dizzy with emotion and adrenaline.

“Do you,” you panted, “have any idea what you did to me? Don’t start with me…”

“Oh honey, just wait until I get started—“

You turned to look at Hunter who also had gotten to his feet, the words registering, but sounding quite distant. Was he yelling? You weren't sure. Suddenly, your breath was knocked from your lungs and a sharp pain invaded your entire body.

Falling to your knees, you clutched your side to find it wet and sticky, and warm. You didn't need to pull your hand away to look at it to know there was blood, yet that's what you did, and you were shocked nevertheless to find the red, sticky substance on your hands. Gasping with wide eyes, you missed Hunter’s cry of alarm.

“You’re bleeding!”

Hunter ran over to you and caught you as you crumpled to the ground in pain. Gathering you to himself, he rested your body against his.

Tearing off his scarf from around his neck, Hunter pressed it to your wound.

“You’re losing so much blood.”

“Nah, I know exactly where it is. Here, there, and a little over there.”

“Not funny.”

“I thought it was.” you faintly chuckled.

With a dark look, he cut the red fabric into strips and bound your abdomen tightly.

“I’ll get you back to the ship as soon as I can, just hold on for me ok?”

You nodded but your eyes now felt so heavy. You just wanted to sleep.

Scooping you up, Hunter started at a full run.

The bouncing hurt. Every pounding bounce sent fire mixed with ice through your body. Your head rolled back and your eyes shut.

“Hey, hey, cyare, look at me. Look at me! Don’t give up on me yet, please.”

Hunter came in running.

“Wrecker! Wrecker! Get the ship started, we’re leaving NOW!”

Wrecker didn’t miss a beat. He saw you dangling limpless in Hunter’s arms and dashed up the walkway. Wrecker tore through the room, doing the start up sequences as fast as he could then meeting Hunter in the gangway, he threw the med kit at him.

Back in the cockpit, Wrecker took the controls.

Placing you in his bed, Hunter slapped your face.

“I know you’re in there, wake up! Wake up! Don’t leave me now, I need you. I can’t do this without you. Omega is depending on you. You’re stronger than this, come on!”

Injecting you quickly with a stim and re-wrapping your wounds, Hunter frantically chaffed your wrists until your eyes fluttered open.

“Hunter?” You were looking around, trying to sit up.

“Hey, hey don’t get up.” He placed a hand on your forehead, then your pulse points. He felt you slowly but surely starting to equalize. “Just rest for a bit, ok? I’m going to stay right here if you need anything.” He pulled up a chair next to you.

“I’m ok,” you smiled weakly, “I was so scared when I saw those tracks. I thought I’d lost you again. But you’re ok, and that’s all that matters to me.” You squeezed his hand, then let the darkness take you.

All was still and dark. The Marauder gently rocked in what would pass for the early hours of the morning, if there really could be a morning or night in space.

All was still and quiet inside the Marauder. Wrecker was by the controls watching the ship’s course and motion beacons, Hunter was fast asleep, leaned over the bed and holding your hand.

You on the other hand were restless. Buckets of sweat fell from your forehead. Dizzy and disoriented, even laying down, a nauseous feeling crept up your stomach into your throat.

You wormed your hand out of Hunters, not wanting to wake him. It’d been too long since he’d gotten any sleep at all and at last the complete and utter exhaustion took him over. You pushed on the bed, attempting and failing to drag yourself up.

You glanced at Hunter, considering only for a moment, then resurfaced your determination. No, you’d let him rest. You could do this. Grasping the blanket’s cocooning you, you attempted to untangle the heavy sheet entwining you. It was so heavy, suffocating.

With a heaving breath, you pushed your feet off the bed and lunged your body forward.

You were standing.

But as soon as you got up, you realized your mistake. The ship spun and the dull aches over your body were awakened. Your stomach’s pain blew its trumpet and your ears felt like balloons that were going to pop. You must have swallowed marbles because there was barely any room in your throat.

Oh well, you could only push forward.

Stumbling into the bathroom, you turned on the cold water. Perhaps that would help.

The first thing Hunter noticed was his hand was cold and clammy. The lack of warmth left a devoid and empty feeling embedded with a nervous foreboding.

Next came the darkness, which became a haze, and that haze turned into a bubble as he fought he was to consciousness. The bed in front of him was empty and Hunter could vaguely make out the things around him, noises indecipherable. He thought he heard trudging of feet scraping against the floor, the turning of a facet with the gush of water, then a loud crash, and thud with a BAM!

Instantly his body was alert. Dashing toward the source of the sound, he knew subconsciously what he’d find. Your body on the floor, sprawled out and drained. Your face was pale as death, eyes hollow. You didn’t look like this a few hours ago?

“Mesh’la? mesh’la! what happened? Did you hit your head? Why are you up?” A thousand questions spilled from his mouth in worry.

Worming his body behind yours, he gathered you up gently. You mumbled something that was lost even to his hearing.

Concerned, Hunter removed his gloves, and placed them on your face.

You leaned into his warmth, shivering, unable to get warm, yet your skin felt like fire to him. You were burning. Beads of sweat danced on your forehead as large as the tears that fell from your eyes.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” Cradling you now, he carefully wrapped himself around your body. This allowed you to curl in on yourself and tuck yourself in further to his chest.

“‘M sry.”

Kriff, you could barely speak.

“Don’t be sorry. I got you now.”

“Hunter, I-I can’t hear you too well.”

A wall of realization hit him hard. Kark it, he knew what happened.

The fever, the swelling, the loss of balance and your voice, not to mention your hearing?

You had an infection.

Fear invaded Hunter’s senses. He’d never been sick like this, having super immune genetics (one thing to thank the long necks for he supposed). But now, how could he help if he didn’t know what you were going through exactly?

This wasn’t the first time you were sick like this. He remembered the story you told of your childhood, and how one winter, you fell through the ice which resulted in something like this. The incident left you vulnerable and weakened, and he worried about you.

You were tough and fought it out. But what if you couldn’t fight this one off? Would your second brush with death be enough to claim you?

Tears swelled your eyes and poured onto your cheeks. Small sobs started to wrack your body as emotion overtook you.

“I…sorry…don’t burnden…’Mega, gotta find…”

“Hey, hey, it’s ok, I got you, I got you. You’re not a burden. We’ll get you better then we’ll find her. Hey, I got you, it’s ok.” Hunter had no idea how he managed to sound so calm. He’d never seen you like this before and it terrified him. Your small sniffles and hiccups reminded him of a small child. Every nerve and essence of his being screamed at him to protect you.

“I’ll get you some water, I’ll be back. You have to stay hydrated.”

“Stay, I’ll get it.”

Hunter looked up to find Wrecker looking down at the two of you with a sad look in his eyes. “You should be with her.” He disappeared then returned a few minutes later with a full flask of cold water.

Hunter brought it to your lips, but you barely swallowed any before relinquishing your strength to an empty sleep, exhausted by the struggle.

Silence bore down on the three of you as Hunter and Wrecker looked on while you slept an uncomfortable sleep.

“I knew we should have stuck together.” Wrecker said sadly at last, not looking at Hunter. “I told her I’d come with her…”

“It’s not your fault, Wreck.”

“Bad things happen when we split up, I told her that….”

“This is all my fault.” Hunter hung his head. “I—”

“That kind of talk isn’t going to help her, Hunt. Don’t even think that. She made up her own mind. She was scared for ya, Hunt. She even started calling you ‘Hunt’ again.”

Hunter looked up surprised, then back down towards you. You’d stopped that since that morning on Pabu. You’d been formal with him afterward. It was either Sargeant or Hunter.

He shifted then lifted you in his arms, bringing you back to the bed. He set you down then ran his fingers through your damp hair, worry evident in his eyes.

“We need to get her to a hospital, Wreck. I don’t know what to do…Without Tech…I’m really scared right now.”

Wrecker placed a large, comforting hand on Hunter’s shoulder. “Then we go. We’ll get her better, Hunt. Don’t worry. I think we have a few of those fake IDs left Tech made. We’ll make something work.”

Swallowing hard, Hunter nodded.

Instead of letting go, Wrecker’s grip tightened. In one swift motion, Hunter was enveloped in a hug. If he was being honest, he didn’t mind in the least.

Hunter sat by you in silence as the ship flew through hyperspace toward the hospital, watching your fitful sleep. Your forehead was creased in pain and your mouth turned into a pout. One hand carefully stroked your sweat soaked hair, the other intertwined with yours.

The waiting was the worst part. Not being able to do anything to help or accept, fate could only take its course and he could only stand by and watch. The worst enemies were the ones he couldn’t protect you from and he hated that. He couldn’t fight the infection with his blade, or take away your pain by shooting the cause with a blaster bolt.

He leaned his forehead against yours and swallowed a sigh. Was this agony what you'd felt when he'd been shot? He remembered what delicate care you took of him. You'd been more than thoughtful, and tried not to show your concerns but he saw them anyway; just as he could always see you. But there was something else there that at the time he hadn't realized. And now he hoped he hadn't realized it too late.

“You asked me before if I’d settle down like Shep asked……………and in my dreams, yes. I always wanted to, even before he asked, with you. It was you, it was always and only you.”

Silence was your response.

“Please, don’t leave me now. I already lost the others, I can’t lose you too.”

The steady rhythm of your heart was promise enough for him right now, he had to hold onto hope.

“We can take it slow. Take our time. We don’t have to rush into anything but please, please stay with me and I’ll be yours for the rest of our lives. That’s my promise to you. I–I love you. Always have, always will.”

Perhaps if he’d hadn’t been so tired, he would have noticed the slight squeeze of his hand you have him.

Hunter walked into the hospital carrying you wearing civilian clothing hoping he looked more inconspicuous than he felt. He approached the nurse at the front desk.

“Excuse me, my wife needs help. She had an accident…”

“Chain codes.” the nurse said flatly without looking up but holding out her hand.

Hunter fished them out and gave them to her.

“It’s urgent, she needs to see a doctor ri–”

“Just sit down over there and the nurse will be with you shortly.”

“But she needs a doctor NOW!”

The nurse glanced up annoyed.

“Keep that up and she’ll have to wait a full rotation, buddy.”

Hunter glared but didn’t say a word. Normally he would have fought back harder but with your life on the line, he couldn’t find it in himself to do it. So he did as he was bid, and took a seat in the waiting area.

You blinked your eyes open with a smile.

“Hey Handsome.”

You reached up for his face, and he took your hand in his and gave it a quick kiss.

“Hey,” Hunter kept his voice low, giving you a quick smile before making a quick survey of the area, “to catch you up real quick, we’re married. You’re my wife and we took you here after an accident on our farm. You’re going to be ok, ok?”

His eyes darted across your face, looking, searching, for any indication that his words would come true. Even here and now on the brink of being saved, he felt like you’d suddenly vanish and be taken from him.

He didn’t know what he expected from you, a nod of recognition maybe? But he didn’t get that. Instead, you chuckled.

“Married? Already? So much for wanting to take it slow, Hunter.”

To his surprise, a laugh burst from his lips, a smile replacing the worry for a second. He shook his head. Even now, you were trying to look out for him, making him laugh while you were the one who needed help.

“Always looking out for me, aren’t you?” His voice was warm and full. The deepness of his voice like chocolate on your sore ears, not that he’d know that of course. All he could hope for was that you could hear the depth of love and gratitude he had in such a few words.

You smiled, “always have, always will, I promise you that.”

Hunter heard the nurse approach and looked up, only to be faced with a jaw dropping phenomenon.

“How can I help you today? Wait…Hunter?”

It was Nala, your old classmate.

“Nala?” Hunter repeated, stunned. “You work here?”

“Yes…” her eyes drifted down to you.

An unsettled feeling came over Hunter. You hadn’t been in touch with anyone since Order 66. Whose side was Nala on?

He didn’t have to wonder long when her face went white and she dropped down on one knee to be at your level.

“What do you need? Let me assess her and see what I can do.”

Nala came running up carrying various vials and all but shoved them in Hunter’s pockets.

“Give her this as soon as possible. It’s safer for all of you if you just take it and administer it on your ship. I got word of Imperials coming here shortly. I’ve listed instructions on how to give it to her safely. You should go before someone recognizes you and hands you over. Goodbye, and good luck. Take good care of my friend. When she gets better, tell her to give me a call!”

With that, Nala turned and left, trying her hardest not to give an impression of concern.

Back on the ship, Hunter did as instructed. After making sure you were carefully placed in bed and made as comfortable as possible, he enlisted Wrecker’s help as soon as they’d jumped to hyperspace. Hunter knew Wrecker wasn’t going to like it, but there wasn’t another way.

You’ll want to give this one to her first. It’ll regulate her body so she can take the following medications. It’ll help her breathe easier and adjust to what’s coming…it won’t appear so right away so don’t worry. You’re going to need to give this to her in quick succession so don’t wait to see the effects.

Hunter injected the hypo into your arm.

This one is the IV with the antibiotics. Get her hooked up quickly and make sure the bag is drained before you take it out.

He rubbed your arm and inserted the needle.

This one, inject into her chest near her heart. This one will hurt the most.

This one, he couldn’t do.

“This…is going to hurt.”

“I know.” You stared at the ceiling, trying to catch your breath and collect your courage. “It’s ok.”

Of course you knew, you were a medic. He would have cringed at his own words, but he couldn’t help it. His own fear mocked him and he wasn’t ashamed of it. Pain was pain, and nothing could make him like it or want that for you. All he could do was prepare you in any way he could.

Your breathing was labored, huffing your breaths, greedy for air, gluttonously swallowing in as much as your lungs would let you.

“Tell me.” You looked into his eyes, trying to focus, “tell me about it? I can’t seem to remember anything from our big day. What happened? Who was there? How did it go….How did I look?” You huffed a little laugh at the last question, “nevermind, don’t answer that.” Your laugh caused a coughing fit to follow.

Hunter gripped you firmer as your body racked, fear unmasked in his eyes.

Shutting your own, you tried to center yourself.

“Crosshair probably made trouble, didn't he. He and Wreck competed to see who could eat the most cake and got sick, right?” Your voice was nothing other than a whisper, but Hunter could still pick up the dream-like tilt in your voice. The little smile as if it was a real memory, breaking across your lips.

“Of course, would you expect anything less?”

Another chuckle turned into a gasp of air.

Hunter kept his gaze on you as he spoke, his hand on your cheek facing him so you wouldn’t have to see what was to come. Rubbing gentle circles in your cheek and wiping away tears, he tried to speak without a shake in his voice. He didn’t know if he succeeded, but ever after that, he’d remember the images burned in his mind both, of the story he was telling and the raw reality of your pain.

“Tech filmed the entire thing; we’ll have to rewatch it; would you believe Echo had more champagne to drink than anyone? He was so happy the entire night. He was also the only one next to Wrecker to cry.”

You smiled through gritted teeth.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You looked beautiful all dressed in white…” he stumbled over his words now as Wrecker garnished the needle, “your dress dazzled with little jewel thingies and you liked spinning in it because it reminded you of a waterfall or a butterfly’s wing. I couldn’t keep my eyes off you. And when you walked toward me, I was a mess, because I knew I was the luckiest man in the world, and I couldn’t ever have imagined you more beautiful.”

You swallowed hard.

“Omega couldn’t stop smiling or singing; and when the music at the Pabu sunsets starts and the orange sun starts setting in the sky, it hit you just right and…”

You screamed as muffled of a scream as you could, but it rang in Hunter’s head so loud it bounced around until he felt like he was going to be sick.

“Aaand, and, when the sun set, we resaid our vows under the stars, just you and me. Always, just you and me. I’ve got you, it’s ok.”

Your eyes rolled back and all went dark.

Breathing never felt so sweet. You smiled, feeling like you could laugh and cry at the same time. The pain was gone and you felt great! Energy was surging, and life felt beautiful again. Despite the illness, you remembered everything that happened with vivid accuracy. Though your eyes were closed, your mind was very awake and registered everything in perfect memory.

Not just the pain, but the sweet moments too. Hunter taking such good care of you, his poor fear and concern, the thoughts he confessed because he thought you couldn't hear.

You felt the urge to stretch but couldn't move. Opening your eyes and looking around, the sight made your heart melt. Hunter was curled up half beside and half behind you. His body was curled in around yours, holding you as if he feared when he woke, you wouldn't be there.

Your heart was gripped by the softness of the gesture and you didn't want it to end.

You reached your hand up, running your fingers down his face and neck. The touch was enough to wake him. He stirred, then jolted with realization.

“You're awake!!!” Tears gathered in his eyes as he cupped your face with both his hands. “You're ok.” He smiled and swallowed so hard you could hear it. You embraced him, burying your face in his neck.

“I love you.”

You froze. You didn't expect him to actually confess to you while you were awake. Hunter sensed your hesitancy and started to pull away, but before he could move an inch, you were grabbing him toward yourself again.

“I love you, too. So much.”

“Can…we talk? I can't wait anymore.”

“Of course.”

Hunter turned shy. He found his hands extremely interesting as he fiddled with the blanket rim. His face turned red and he tripped over his words.

“I only said what I did because besides you….I wouldn't want to marry any other woman. Who would I even marry…if it wasn't you?”

He paused briefly before continuing.

“I always felt like you deserved way better than me…I can't offer you anything but myself and that's not much of a gift.”

“Hunter! No! You—”

He gave you a sheepish look and cut you off.

“And I'm so sorry for everything that happened, for how I hurt you. I should have gone to you sooner, I should have…”

Now it was your turn to cut him off, but instead of with words, you captured his mouth with yours in a kiss

You felt his shock, which made you smile, and soon he joined and returned your soft show of love, holding you even closer than before.

“You scared me.” Hunter said, kisses becoming needier.

“You scared me first!” You countered, meeting his veracity. “More than once!”

When you both stopped for breath, you settled back in his embrace.

“Hunter, you're all I could ever need or want. The gift of yourself is more precious than anything or anyone in the galaxy, and that's more than I deserve. All I've ever wanted was the war to end so we could have a family of our own, your brothers all be near us if they're not with us while we raise Omega and children of our own.”

Hunter's face darkened.

“I wasn't strong enough to protect you or keep this family together. I lost Omega.”

“You didn't lose her, Hunter. She made a choice. She didn't want to lose you, and neither did I. You don't control the galaxy or have some responsibility for everything that happens. It's ok to breathe, Hunt, and let go. All we can do is move onward and face the galaxy together, just like we always do.”

Hunter nodded, the shadow slowly falling from his face, replaced with something gentler.

“And that story I told before, about you in the white dress?”

“Yeah?” You blushed sheepishly, recalling with a bubbling laugh trapped inside your chest.

“What do you say we make that real?” Leaning closer, he whispered in your ear, “I want to see you all in white, for real. I want to be yours, only yours, forever. I want to have a family, with you and only you. My brothers can all live close by and we can all be together. We can raise Omega the way she deserves to be raised…and I can love you, the way you deserve to be loved.”

“Yes! Oh yes! My sergeant, I am yours and only yours, now and forever!”

Filled with new determination, you smiled even wider, gripped his hand and got out of bed.

“Come on, now, love, let's go get our kid. Time to bring our family home. Time to start healing and growing.”

"The Empire be warned, we're coming."

Dividers by @stars-n-spice @ve-ti-ver and @djarrex

#I gave Hunter's scarf a fate #We now know what happened to it #It deserved a story #Hunter's scarf is important and we recognize that here #sergeant hunter x you #hunter x you #hunter x reader #hunter #the bad batch #tbb hunter #star wars #tbb wrecker #tbb crosshair #tbb tech #tbb omega #tbb echo #star wars the bad batch #clone fic gift exchange #TBBE24

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riiwrites · 2 years ago

Note

Can I request dazai confessing his feelings to reader and reader doesn’t believe he’s being serious? Thank you 💕

seriously. - d. osamu

a/n : ofc anon! tysm for your request! <3 i apologise if it isn’t good writing. this is my first full fic but I really do hope you enjoy it 💗

genre : fluff

warnings : none

wc : 1k

If you had to describe Dazai Osamu with a few words, it certainly wouldn’t be earnest.

He just wasn’t known to be that serious kind of man, you knew that of course. You’ve been working alongside him for as long as you can remember and all you seemed to get from him was just incompetent behaviour.

You have never once in your whole life of working at the agency seen Dazai be or at least try to be serious, at least not with you.

His way of communicating with you would always end up with him initiating a flirty gesture or phrasing something poetic about your ethereal beauty. Although you didn’t mind it, a part of you wondered if what he was saying was actually true.

“You’re oblivious, you know that right?” Ranpo said, eating away and interrupting your rant about the whole situation between you and Dazai.

“He is in love with you.” He continued.

“He may not act serious but trust me, the eyes don’t lie.”

He wasn’t wrong, he’s Ranpo. He was never wrong and with the way Dazai looked at you when he thought you weren’t was truly something.

But still, you just couldn’t believe it, you couldn’t believe Dazai would actually be serious about loving you, it was all just fun and games after all, right?

It was quite a lonely night for you back at the agency. Everyone had clocked out for the night and you were filling in some leftover paperwork that had to be done for the week and then you’d be finished.

As you were too zoned in on the sound of your own pencil scribbling the paper you didn’t seem to hear the tiny creak of the door behind you slowly opening up.

Dazai slowly peaked through the door, spotting you and entered your working space, being gentle with his movements as to not get your attention just yet.

He slowly stepped forward— practically tiptoeing his way towards you from behind, eventually placing his hands on your shoulder before whispering.

“Whatcha doing, Bella?~”

It took a quick second for your heart to skip a beat when you heard that specific nickname only one person called you. You snapped out of your focus before swiftly turning around to him with a sigh of relief when you can confirm it’s just him.

“Dazai..”

You let out another exhale of relief. “You scared me there.”

You added on with a small smile to your face, a pink hue slightly tinting your cheeks as you tried to adjust yourself from the sudden change of scenery in-front of you as you hadn’t moved out of your chair for what seemed like hours.

“Aw, my apologies Y/N! Just wanted to check up on you, you’ve been glued to that desk for the past few hours y’know~” he teased, basically confirming that theory as he took his hands off your shoulders and walked over next to you, propping himself up to sit on the desk you were currently working at.

“Well, i guess I’ve just been pretty busy.” You replied, spinning back around in your chair to take a look at him once again, scratching the back of your head sheepishly.

“Why don’t you come on a walk with me? Clear that pretty little head of yours?”

He had that mischievous wide smirk on his face that you had always noticed. You would constantly take note of the tiniest things about his features that you just absolutely adored about him. The pink hue on your face became more visible as he spoke, word after word it made your face practically glow with pink. After a few seconds of contemplating wherever or not to say yes to his suggestion, you sighed as you look back at your paperwork and then back at him with a slight smile before replying.

“Sure then, let’s go.”

The walk was beyond peaceful surprisingly enough. Dazai was walking alongside you with his two hands behind his head, taking small glances at your expression as you looked up at the stars, seeming so in awe with them.

“You like them?”

He leaned forward with a smile as he tried to get a more clear look of your facial features, taking every little detail in. There was a long pause before your answer as you nodded slowly, admiring it all.

“Yeah, they’re beautiful.” You said in response.

Dazai took in how soft your voice was, how gentle your facial expressions were as you stare in admiration at the sparkling dots in the sky. He took a sharp breath before saying something else in reply.

“You’re breathtaking, you know that right?

You paused for a moment, still staring at the midnight sky as you then turned to him with a playful smirk, rolling your eyes to his flirting.

“Thank you, Dazai.” You replied sarcastically, expecting another one of his flirtatious and foolish remarks.

“No, Y/N listen to me.”

He took his hands off his head and stood in-front of you, taking your hands into his own whilst staring at you with such a fond expression.

“You are- absolutely breathtaking.” He repeated his words once more, waiting for a response.

You took a few seconds again, confused as to what was happening and thinking it was just Dazai playing tricks on you once again.

“I- thank—“ you tried but before you could’ve even gave a response back, he just blurts it out within an instant.

“I love you, Y/N.”

There was a long silence shared amongst the two of you, the only thing heard was the wind bristling against the trees and a few cars bypassing. You were the one to first break the silence, not by speaking, but by literally laughing.

Dazai stood there stunned for a moment, letting go of your hands with a look of confusion riddled across his face as you hugged your chest, laughing hysterically.

“Oh- ahah! Oh Dazai you are- so remarkably funny!” You gasped out in between laughs, absolutely losing yourself.

“W-what..? Y/N what are you talking about?” He asked, a look of concern also struck on his face.

There was suddenly another long pause when you eventually stopped laughing as soon as he said that. Your sudden wide eyes shot up to look at his sort of hurt expression and you tilt your head.

“You- were joking were you not?”

“No?”

Well now you looked like a complete fool.

You took a few steps back, processing this and just refused to believe it.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Y/N I’m serious.”

God, even just the word ‘serious’ rolling off his tongue felt so wrong but oh, just the way he looked at you with that genuine expression had you weak in the knees and second guessing everything for a moment.

“Do you not see the way I look at you? God, Y/N I’m so in love with you I’ve never been more serious in my life.”

He stared at you with his beautiful brown eyes piercing through you like bullets, not breaking any eye contact whatsoever. You felt a cold shiver run down you, although it could’ve been the gust of wind, you didn’t give it a second thought before responding.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

He replied within an instant, seeming so sure about that.

“You own my heart L/N.”

That statement sure was bold and you absolutely adored it, you adored him.

You took a step forward, taking his hands into your own and smiling down at the sight, intertwining your fingers with his and gave him a soft smile as you tilted your head up.

“You own my heart too Osamu.”

Once you replied, Dazai had to take a breather, letting go of the breath he had currently held in for about a whole minute of waiting for you to reply with something not so negative.

“Whew! Y/N don’t leave me on a hanger like that ever again- that was seriously wounding.”

He said, chuckling nervously but smoothly covered it up with a composed expression on his face.

He’s secretly dying on the inside though.

He moved his hand forward pulling you closer to him, embracing you tightly and wrapping his arms around you fully, looking up at the sky like you had done. Once you pulled away from the tight embrace you looked up at the brunettes face as if you were analysing something about him. he glanced right back at you.

“What?” He asked, quirking his eyebrow up in question.

“I think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen you be so serious..” You admitted.

“What?!" He gasped dramatically, placing his hand on his heart, acting as if you’ve wounded him.

“Absurd! I’ve been serious more times than you can even count!”

He huffs. You cocked your eyebrow up at him in response.

“I mean, if that’s what helps you sleep at night.”

You began to smirk and glanced back up at the stars. He then let out a dramatic exhale before returning the same smirk you had on your face.

“Don’t make me take back my words, dear!"

There it was again. The same unserious mischievous scheming bastard of a man who somehow stole your precious heart.

Who knew a man like him could actually be so serious?

Damn, you owed Ranpo so much money.

main page ❤︎︎ want to be added to my taglist?

#bsd #bsd dazai #bsd headcanons #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #bsd osamu dazai #dazai x reader #dazai x you #osamu dazai x reader #fluff #i feel like this was written really badly I apologise 😔

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deadsnothere · 2 years ago

Text

Gunslinger Girl!

Synopsis - After getting a call from Garp, Alias made her way to the Baratie for a nice bite to eat and a long needed reunion.

Part 2

WARNINGS!! - READER HAS A NAME!!

Request - no, not taking them sorry.

Word count - 2.8k

Speak Ali! - Both parts together make 5,340 words, this Fic has literally taken up my brain.

Monkey D. Luffy.

Garp was a cheeky bastard.

I, Alias Foreman, Swore to be on Monkey D. Luffy's pirate crew when we both turned sixteen and fled to the sea together. I had a dream of becoming one of the most versatile people known to man. I want to learn as much as I can, to cook, to clean, to navigate boats and ships, anything you can teach me I will try my hardest to understand and learn. Now I'm not saying that I want to be the best at everything, there will always be people better. But I want to at least understand the basics of as much as possible. But for all of my life I've been known as a Gunslinger.

I'm ‘The Cheshire Cat’. Cool name with a stupid job. I hate being a Warlord of the Sea, it's the stupidest job on this side of the east blue, and they wouldn't even give me a proper crew. Just a few bumbling idiots who don't know what being a pirate really means.

Luffy always understood what being a pirate meant. I remember watching Garp train him day in and day out. Parts of me understand why Garp was so hard on him, I mean people say he takes after Gold Roger. Imagine your grandson taking after someone you helped execute. I don't think I'd be fond of it either. I’ve never thought Garp nor Luffy were wrong for what they want but, I think one knows what he's doing and the other doesn't.

It's always quite bothersome when halfway through my delicious dinner, I get interrupted by a soggy mean fishman running in here and trying to take my table for dinner. If he had waited a few minutes I would've gladly given it up, I just wanted to finish my meal. But the inpatient idiot just had to have it now.

“I'm afraid there are no more tables.” Arlong and two of his crew members were walking down the stairs of the Baratie. They’re bodies are still wet and leaving water as they walk, which is just plain disrespectful. “I see a bunch of tables.” I couldn't help but roll my eyes, to think I would have a peaceful dinner, just hopeful dreaming. People started to whisper and get up from their tables but I stayed in my seat, intending to finish the nice meal served to me. Plus it's not as if they got far, Arlong was yelling at them as soon as he got to the middle of the staircase. “Sit down!” he yelled in his degrading, chalkboard scratching voice. I continued to cut my steak in pieces to eat, they over cooked it a bit but a fine job was done anyways. Seasoned almost perfectly. A little too much oregano, but I'm just too picky with my food. Arlong went around as if he owned the place. “No one leaves.”

He looked at me with malice in his smile. “Except you.” His webbed hand went to grab the collar of my shirt but I stopped it with my own, barely even looking back. “I only have a bite or two left, I'll give it up when I'm done.” I took another drink from my wine and let go of his hand, continuing on with my meal. I could tell it pissed him off from the way he growled close to my ear. A stupid amount of spit landing on my dinner plate and shoulder. I shivered in disgust and stood up from my table. “You know what- take it.” I grabbed my plate and wine and stood up, leaving the small round table for the fishmen to sit at. I felt bad not eating the steak so I got a to-go box from the reservations desk and put it in there to give to someone later. Deciding that maybe i'll get a nice drink from the bar instead.

I was a wine kind of gal so I got a nice glass of Merlot, it was tasty. Had lots of flavor, some of which I enjoyed and some I didn't. I was enjoying the peace. I always knew it wouldn't last long but god was i sad when it was over. “Which one of you is Arlong?” Oh shit. I knew his voice anywhere, the voice I was sent for by his grandfather, the voice of a new age. I got a refill on my wine, and bought the whole bottle while I was at it, due to the lingering feeling that this wasn't going to look pretty.

When I got back into the restaurant I decided to just rest a little under the staircase, hidden by the shadows hopefully. Seeing Luffy again made me nervous. Something about it..something about how he’d be even a little bit different. When I assessed the situation in front of me it confused me a bit. I could hear that Arlong was yelling from the bar but he's an idiot so I tuned it out and tried to enjoy the bit of ‘quiet’ I had. Arlong has an older gentleman by his shirt collar, while Luffy was halfway down the main staircase. He had two men behind him, one named Usopp the other Sanji. I heard about them both, one from a customer here and the other, from a bartender. “So this is the pirate I've heard so much about.” Arlong was starting to circle around some of the tables, pacing I guess. “You know, I was expecting someone… bigger.”

Sounds like my cue. I came out of the shady area setting the wine glass and bottle on the table and grabbing a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from a pocket in my shorts, picking the lucky one and placing it in my mouth delicately. “Tell me about it..I've had someone in my ear all day. ‘Find that dumbass.’ I have a headache at this point.” I laughed and leant on the chair. Luffy looks away from Arlong for a millisecond, to look at me but I don't think it registered in his brain. He couldn't have forgotten me. Luffy spoke, in his normal, nonchalant, Luffy way. “So was I.” I was puffing from my cigarette as I laughed. The snicker making smoke pour out of my nose. That got Luffy's attention. His head snapped to look at me, his eyes didn’t leave me, it looked like he was inspecting every part of my body. Probably looking for the one sign it was me. The small skull shaped scar just above my left knee. I wore shorts today just so he would see it.

His eyes were as wide as the plates they were using to serve that delicious soup I had for an appetizer. “ALIAS?!-” internally I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Externally, all I could do was smile. Luffy had a bright smile on his cheeks and I couldn't help but smile back. It was a smile I yearned for, for so long. I knew with even a bit of it, I was going to be addicted again.

I could see how excited luffy was that I was here (which made me VERY happy), but Arlong being himself did not like that attention wasn't on him for those few seconds so he cleared his throat obnoxiously. “Do you know who I am, boy?” Luffy's attention went to him but came right back when I spoke up. “Arlong the Saw.” There was a moment of silence, I taped the ash away from my cigarette into an empty glass off the table of people in front of me, and took another drag from it. “And just who are you-” - “I’m The Cheshire Cat.” I undid two of the buttons on my button up shirt with one hand, letting my collar fall back to show off the cat like scratches that laid on my collar bone (If those cats were lions that scratched almost all the way down my torso and arm). I did a stupid little bow. A few people reacted but I enjoyed the way Luffy looked so wowed. Arlongs eyes widened but they just went right back to a dumb smug smile. “You, Arlong, go for 20 million berrys.” I took another drag, exhaling calmly. “Which is impressive for the east blue but..Not so much other places.” He laughed from his chest, his friends going along with it. “What does the sell out have to say about it?” I sighed softly.

A part of me wished I was a sell out, instead of a kidnapped child forced to do the government's dirty work. The other part knew I would never do that, knew I would never betray my own crew like that. “Oh nothing honestly, I don't care about you.” I looked over to Luffy who still had a smile on his face. When we made eye contact he started to beam. I've only visited him once since I became a warlord, it makes me happy to see him so full of joy just from a moment of eye contact with me. “I'm here for him.” Luffy's hands started to shake, it was something small he always did around me. Blurted it out one day, said when I was excited sometimes I gave him a look, a glint in my eye that made him so happy his entire body shook. It was the sweetest thing he’d ever said to me. Arlong growled once again, leaving spit in someone's food. Those poor people.

He was circling the tables to get to me, circling around me slowly as if I was fish bait he was waiting to snap on. “Well I was here first.” I thought about correcting him, telling him that I was in fact here first. But Luffy interrupted the thought anyway. “How’d you find me anyway?” Luffy sounded completely confident in himself, Arlong just let out another horrid chuckle and made his way back to where he originally stood. “Old friend helped me track you down.” At first Luffy looked over to me, but I was drinking a sip of wine, just listening to what was happening in front of me. Arlong clicked his tongue and one of the other fish men grabbed the clown pirate's head out of a bag. “Heya, Straw hat. Did you miss me?” Luffy looked extremely confused, Sanji looked exhausted and Usopp looked terrified. “Burpy?” The name he called him almost made me spit out my wine from laughter (Which made Luffy happy, I could tell because he glanced at me. Even just for a second.) “What are you doing here?”

The fact that there was only a clown head confused and disturbed me, but I looked past it. “Believe me, it wasn't my first choice either.” He looked a bit nervous as he spoke. “But these fine fishy folk persuaded me to point them in the right direction, which ain't easy when you don't have any hands!” The joke made me raise my eyebrows and laugh a bit, it was funny i'll give him that. But Luffy still looked confused. “How’d you even know where to find me?” Suddenly the clown had the most serious expression I've ever seen him in. “I told you, I've got eyes and ears everywhere.” I noticed an ear start to climb out of the red band of Luffys hat. It was quite strange. The ear went back to the clown and popped right back in place, laughing. Luffy took the hat off his head inspecting it, while the two men behind him shared a look. “Stereo!” Luffy looked shocked. “You were listening all along? You heard everything?” The clown was quite happy. “Everything! and that old quick. 'Cause you shi-diots have no idea what you're doing.” The mashup word made me giggle a bit, it sounded so stupid, but it was kinda funny. (But luffy frowned a bit when he saw I laughed so i stopped as quick as i started).

The clown's head jumped towards the fishman with the huge lips. “Hey lips? How about a scratch behind the old ear, huh?” That made me roll my eyes, he was stupid enough to ask his captors that? The fishmen put him back in the bag. Buggy complaining about how sandy and wet it was.

“Listen here. I want my map.” It was so stupid. Watching them fight over the map to the entrance to the grand line, I understand why Luffy wanted it, but Arlong has a giant crew of thieves who could easily take it from another marine base. “Along with half of whatever you plunder as tribute.” Tribute? for getting a map, does he want tribute for his own existence now? “And if you bow down to me, I might even let you serve in my kingdom.” Stupid men. All of them were the same. Well not all, but most were extremely similar. “I don't bow down to any man.” Luffy stood tall, his head held up high as usual. That's my boy. “I'm no man.” Luffy continued. “Or fish.” That made Arlong growl and made me laugh. “And you’re no king.” There was a certain feeling in the air, the aggression that at any moment, one or the other would attack. Everyone was on high alert, my wine made that hard. It was just so delicate. Hard to enjoy in this environment but perfect in others.

“I will be, when I get my grand line map.” Luffy just smiled, which was a little bit attractive. “Then” He placed his hat back on his head. “You’re gonna have to fight me for it.” I take the attractive comment back, he's stupid. “Then let the fighting begin.” A bullet bounced off the fishmans skin. My hands almost drew closer to my own guns but instead I decided to pour another glass of wine. The old man that cooked my food was standing with a gun in his hand, the trigger pulled in his fingers clutches.

The thing about fishmen (I had learned the hard way) is that regular bullets don't affect them. I have very special bullets, made from some weird unmeltable ice, something about them coming from a town inside the grand line called drum town, from the deepest parts of frozen lakes. They're so sharp they even pierce fishman skin but don't go as deep as I would like.

Arlong turned to the old man, one of his crew members kicking him away and down before punching him into a pillar. Sanji called out his name and ran over, jumping on the table and kicking the fishman in the face. Which just pissed him off more. He got a few good kicks to the face and arms, even the legs but Luffy distracted him. “Really good fighter.” By the time he went to do a quite nice spinning kick to the face again, he caught his foot in his arm. I reached for both guns in my holsters, Checking that they had the correct bullets and shot multiple rounds from Alice, all of them making a trail up his arm and letting Sanji get away. The fishman looked back at me, anger and confusion in his eyes. “These bullets are made of ice, so sharp they even pierce fishman skin. I got them specially made.” There was a delicate smile on my lips, blowing the smoke out of my mouth and away from my guns. Normally i wouldn't touch these but i had a feeling about bringing them today, i'm glad i did. they may be expensive but Luffy was worth it anyways.

Everything was happening so quickly, Luffy's gum gum pistol, Arlong grabbing and pulling him closer. “Uh-” I could tell there was panic in his voice, but I couldn't tell if helping would really be helping at all. He was thrown at a pillar, landing on the floor with a thud. “Get up!” Arlong yelled, if i was him i would've stayed on the floor in spite, but he got up regardless. He kept stretching his arms three punches, one to each shoulder and one to the face. “Not bad for a human.”

I lifted my pistol to shoot Arlong but luffy put his hand up, his middle and ring finger were intertwined and the other three fingers touched. That was our sign when we were kids to stay out of it. It was our secret signal, not even Ace or Sabo or Dadan knew what it meant. I lowered my pistol, spinning it and putting it back in its holster. I grabbed the wine bottle taking a nice big gulp. Glad i’d gotten the entire bottle because this in fact, was not going to be pretty.

Part 2!!

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firemenenthusiast · 10 months ago

Text

—“till death do us apart”

farleigh start x fem! reader

summary: sometimes even fate can be altered

warnings: angst. read at your own risk. plot twist. grammar of a non native english speaker

a/n: am i in my angst era ? also this is for mon cheri @farleighlover 😋 revenge for writing ‘numbingly obsessed’. this fic idea was like a bazooka shooting into my face i had to write it down

“What if we rewrite the stars? Say you were made to be mine. Nothing could keep us apart. You'd be the one I was meant to find”

the way the sun was shining brightly outside his window, soft amber glare richoceting off the balcony of his apartment told him that the even the universe was looking down upon them, blessing the entire day.-

it was cloudy, the sky hanging puffs of fluffy white, but not the type of cloudy that makes everyone moody, no. it was just nice, he thought, as he adjusted the gleaming links on his cuffs, black ribboned tux sitting perfectly on his broad shoulders. cocking his head slightly to the side, his tight dark brown curls bouncing out of his face making him shudder in anticipation. or was it nerves ? he couldnt really tell, too many staggering emotions filling into his head, fighting each other for a place behind those eyes. taking a last deep breath, he adjusted himself in the mirror before turning towards the door, pair of leather shoes carrying him away.

it’s been five years since your class graduated from oxford, or should you call it your alma mater now. it was probably the greatest day ever, being finally done with excruciatingly painful days of all nighters, pushing through everything else just to chase after submission dates. as much as you’re glad that it’s all over, the collection of memories with people there wrapping you like a fuzzy blanket. the only thing making oxford the best phase of your life is the people there. your friends, your dormmates, your classmates, felix, oliver, farleigh.

and farleigh.

everything was better because you got farleigh. he was always there for you, supporting you, making you feel like the luckiest person in the world that out of all the girls in oxford that he could easily get with, he chose you. and you chose him. i mean, it wouldn’t really be anything between the two of you if you didn’t give him a chance. as much as you liked him before the start of your relationship, you weren’t gonna let him in that easily. just thinking about how much you made him suffer to win you over made you let out a soft chuckle. you’d throw the bouquet of fresh flowers he’d left on your designated seat in class immediately after seeing them and god, was that humiliating for him. one thing farleigh absolutely couldn’t stand was being humiliated, or rejected. but he pushed through, he refused to give up because he liked you so much. he’s willing to fight through everything if it meant that you’d just give him a chance. he suprised himself with how much he was doing just to make you accept him, cuz he swore he would never be down so bad just for a girl. but for you, all that pride and need to maintain his reputation just got thrown out the window.

you and farleigh, it was like the two of you were made for each other, maybe it was your fault for not seeing that sooner but your relationship with him was everything to you after you gave in and give him a chance. it was like red blood, pumping oxygen to every part of your existence, he was like air to you. farleigh made you happy, made you feel all giddy whenever he’d wait outside of your class for you to finish so the two of you could grab lunch together, he was your yellow, your rock. at times you could feel your heart grow even fonder of him, slowly falling head over heels. his bright pearly smile fuelled your entire being, you catch yourself secretly grinning whenever you’d think of him. he was very charming, though sometimes so annoying and bratty. you didn’t care, if anything he was your annoying brat. whenever the two of you would spend the whole day wrapped in each other’s arms, you’d let out the biggest sigh of contentment after getting back to your dorm. farleigh protected you, shielding you from anything that was gonna hurt you, from physical dangers to the emotional ones when you’d struggle with your mental health. he knew everything about you, he knew the tricks and tweaks of winning over your heart. he was your guardian angel.

you’d also noticed how beautiful of a day it was outside, and you were thanking the universe for granting the both of you a chance for this day to be as beautiful as it could be. it was everything you’ve ever dreamed of, and it was exactly like how you’d imagine and daydreamed about it to be since you were a little girl. from the gorgeous white gown draped down your figure to the personally hand arranged bouquet of flower that you were gonna carry down the aisle. it was perfect, and so is the fact that you were gonna marry the love of your life. you couldn’t be more excited, scared and nervous. everyone had told you that it’s normal to be nervous, it’s probably the biggest moment in your life and you couldn’t risk it being even slightly ruined. everything had to be perfect, and they actually were. getting ready in the dressing room, you paced around to get your mind off things that you were overthinking about. what if you stumbled and ripped your gown ? what if you puked in the middle of the walk because you were too nervous ? in that moment you just wanted to tell your bridesmaid to go get your fiancé. you knew he could calm you down easily, he always did. little did you know that he was also taking deep breaths to cool himself down in another room.

the sleek black tux hugging farleigh nicely around his torso and his bust. the sleeves, perfectly tailored and not a single inch longer than it should be. he looked dashing, handsome even. but when is it that he doesn’t? stepping onto the venue, his chin tilted upwards, feasting his eyes upon the beautifully decorated hall. a small smile crept itself across his lips. it was just like how you always told him how you would like the place to look like when you get married. farleigh had always kept a mental note on the details, from the choice of flowers standing tall along the aisle, to the soft hue of innocent yellow dimly lighting up the whole place. you always had a vision when it comes to your wedding day, and he would listen to you talk about it, nodding away and even adding his own points on how he wanted his wedding to be. he had immaculate taste too, of course. chirping in to give you suggestions after suggestions just to make sure the vision of his and your wedding day was perfect. he didn’t really care, the only vivid thing he could imagine was the image of you standing in front of him, looking as pretty as always, smiling up at him as he vowed to take you as his lawfully wedded wife. it was innocent how the two of you would dream about this day.

guests were starting to fill up the venue, settling themselves down on their designated seats as few of them were seen chatting up with each other, smiles decorating their faces. both your families were moving around efficiently, making sure that everything was in order for the ceremony to move smoothly, while you waited in the dressing room, carefully adjusting and making sure that your make up and hair were put together flawlessly. “you nervous?” you heard venetia speak, as you turn your head towards her, smiling. your eyes trailed along the beautifully sewn hem of your gown. “of course i am, i would be lying if i said im not” letting out a soft sigh, your eyes glanced towards her. “how’s farleigh ?” you asked her, before she took both your hands in hers, firmly grabbing onto the palms as she cocked her head to the side, beaming at you. “he’ll be alright” she responded, shortly. “you ready ?” to which you nodded, offering her a quick smile.

the walk from the dressing room to the hall felt like forever, as steps after steps burned memories into your head, everything felt so surreal yet too real at the same time. as you carefully line your walk in the heels with the tail of your gown making it a sport, you began to notice familiar faces sitting at the back row, already beaming at you with their hands cupped against their chests. you offered them a warm smile, desperately using it to hide the all new emotions you were currently feeling. you were now already standing at the end of the aisle, in the middle of everyone, as all eyes were set on you. you tried your best to flash the prettiest smile, like you had practiced for only like since forever. farleigh’s eyes immediately set themselves on you, his eyebrows dropped as his dark orbs began to gloss, a small breath got caught in his throat as it seemed like he had forgotten how to breathe. he was getting lightheaded with how similar you looked with the vision he had of you being his bride. just when he thought you couldn’t get anymore beautiful, you began to walk down with the white veil over your head, fresh flowers neatly grasped in your hands. you looked pure, breathtakingly beautiful in white. it was almost like the angels had lent you their beauty for that exact moment, for you to wear as you slowly step towards the altar.

your eyes met farleigh’s, a knowing look being exchanged between the two of you. you almost laughed at how touched he looked, he would be caught dead first before this to even show that he had deep emotions for someone but for you, he didn’t care. anything for you. all the nervousness suddenly disappeared as you carefully step onto the elevated platform at the end of your slow walk, joining your fiancé before facing each other, huge smile plastered across your faces. all of that ruckus and chaos before your wedding day has led to this moment, as you take it all in that it was finally happening.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the love of these two as they come together in marriage.” the officiant started right as the two of you were ready. after exchanging rings, he started his vows first, which almost made you cry but happiness flooded through the feeling.

“…I promise to cherish you always, to honor and sustain you, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, and to be true to you in all things until death alone shall part us.” as you finish your vow, you could feel your feet starting to perform little jumps of excitement. turning your head towards the officiant, he could see that you were already getting impatient. smiling to himself, he looked over to the crowd before saying the magic words

“By the power vested in me by the state, I now pronounce you husband and wife !” you almost squeak before leaning over to kiss your now husband, gently pressing your lips over his soft ones, your cold fingers cupping his cheeks as a roar of applause filled the hall. the crowd stood up to cheer, bright smiles complimenting the decorations in the hall.

it was exactly like you imagined, except this time it wasn’t farleigh that you were kissing.

as farleigh clapped for the both of you from his seat, he couldn’t help the proud smile pushing itself to form on his lips, as his eyes begin to water. he immediately reached up to wipe them off quickly, yet obvious tint of red could still be seen if one were to examine his face closely. but he wasn’t worried of that happening, because he wasn’t the main subject of today’s ceremony, no. he was just happy to be here, cheering for you and your husband. he would be lying if he didn’t think about how it would be if it was him instead on the altar, kissing you away from all the doubts that he had put you through over the last few years of your relationship. he knew that you and him, the two of you were supposed to be endgame. it was supposed to be him, slipping the ring onto your finger, before kissing over them. he knew all that, yet nothing could win over a fight with his own issues, nothing could beat his own mind in a game called love. he wanted to give up on love long ago but you showed him the bright end of the tunnel, and he will always be grateful for that. for now, he would have to make peace with the fact that you’re no longer his, and he no longer has a place in your heart. it’s not like he doesn’t want all of this, he really does. hell, he had thought about this exact day countless times when you were his, just that he imagined it to be him who will get to say his vows on how he was gonna love you till death do the both of you apart. everything else was pretty much just how he had imagined it to be, especially how beautiful you looked.

the two of you had promised that the relationship had to end with marriage, and that after graduation nothing was gonna change. but promises are meant to broken aren’t they ? he changed, a lot. you did too. farleigh struggled with himself after graduation, with the fact that he didn’t have anything left in the uk, him being done with oxford left him no reason to keep staying with the cattons. he didn’t want to leave, he begged for sir james to keep letting him stay, saying that he would do anything with the best he had, building a career over the estates in saltburn, anything. anything just for him to able to stay here, with you. he was afraid that if he left, everything will be different and he’d lose you. so he worked, really hard. struggling to make his own money to put them into his own little apartment. little did he know, he lost himself in the process, along with what he had with you. warm embraces and chuckles after laughters turned into hurtful arguments. your usual warm spot on his bed turned cold, as your dent on his mattress slowly disappeared. it’s not like you didn’t fight for him, you truly did. but you realised that what the two of you had, was only nice while it lasted. and you struggled to make peace with that, but not as much as he was. you were everything to him, and losing you just meant losing himself.

when you told him that you were getting married, he looked really happy, as he pulled you in a tight hug. it felt safe, and you could feel that he was genuinely happy for you. you’re glad that after all, you were still able to be close with him, only now as friends. he was happy to receive the wedding invitation, having set it up on his empty kitchen table so he wouldn’t miss it for the world. he still loved you, so much as he wouldn’t want to miss watching you on your happiest day, even if it wasn’t because of him. even if it wasn’t with him. seeing you happy was enough for him. knowing that you were happy, he forced himself to accept that fate couldn’t be rewritten. how he wished it is, because then he would get to write your name in his stars again and again, and again. as many times as he could as long as in the end, you’d end up in his arms.

as the getaway car began to roll its wheels, he looked at you flashing the prettiest smile ever, waving at him. he returned the smile, masking in the reasoned melancholy down his chest. the car started to drive away slowly before his smile slowly pressed itself away against his lips. it has now turned to a smile knowing that he once had you, and he would forever cherish that. the crowd began to dissipate, some gradually walking away to leave, some getting back inside to continue their chats, some even talking about how gorgeous of a wedding it was, and that they were happy for you and your husband. farleigh stepped down the stairs to a gravely ground, his leather shoes digging into the coarse pebbles as he leaned back onto the stone post at the end of the stairs, his hand reaching into the pocket of his slacks. noticing someone approaching his spot, he glanced to the person to see felix, his hands tucked into his pockets before he reached out, asking for a stick from farleigh. he lit the cigarette in his fingers before reaching over, cupping his hand over the flame to lit felix’s.

puffing his first drag, farleigh chuckled at felix at the situation. “how you holding up ?” he heard felix ask, his light brown hair flipping over as the soft wind grazed their skin. farleigh tilted his head down, quietly playing with the pebbles with the tip of his shoes with a burning cigarette dancing between his fingers. “i’m gonna be okay” nodding, he assured felix. “that’s good” he chirped back, he knew how bad farleigh was hurting, but he also knew that his cousin would be caught dead first before showing deep emotions to anyone. felix were also sure that the two of you were really gonna end up together. it was only right to him. he wasn’t sure about what happened, but he could feel how bad the pain was violently ripping farleigh apart. he could only pray that it gets easier, as he didn’t want to lose him too.

“i know you loved her mate” felix started

“i still do” farleigh responded, his head hanging low

“-just differently now”

shaking the burned bits of the cigarette from his fingers, ashes falling down onto the ground as they both sat in silence, quietly enjoying the gentle breeze of the wind, blowing away all of farleigh’s hope for you.

taglist: @farleighlover @r4vn @love-me-pls @radioloom @imjustheretoreadsmuthaha @luckystrikerealness @juniperhasfallen @themoonchildwhofell @khxna @fuckshitslover @szapizzapanda

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