#THE CUNT!!!! THE CUNT!!!!! THE ASTRONOMICAL SERVE!!!!!!
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the-eclectic-wonderer · 22 days ago
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OHH my GOD new Chappell Roan camp country song about lesbian sex LIVE on SNL???? 'Only a woman knows how to treat a woman right'??? Thank you Jesus for making me a lesbian ohhh lord i am LIVING!!!!
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significant-narratives · 9 months ago
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william nylander everybody
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takethistoyourstardust · 9 months ago
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the heaven iowa sit down thing is so emotionally devastating to ME what do you mean it started out as pete just sitting alone and watching from a distance and then on halloween suddenly andy decided to sit next to him for a few second so he wouldn't be alone. and then the next show when he didn't pete still pretended he was there and then the show after that it WORKED and andy sat down next to him again at the start. and THEN joe joined in for the second to last show. and then the final show the three of them sat together and even had little flutes to pour sparkling juice in. fuck all the way off. when men are friends!!!!!!!
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bubblebassfatass · 3 months ago
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So splatoon added heels to their game and the amount of CUNT being served is ASTRONOMICAL
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ddeck · 6 months ago
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the amount of cunt they served was astronomical
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ghouldump · 3 months ago
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Been thinking of armand x reader x louis and their whole dynamic. I could see her being one of the actors, i want them WHIPPED for her. Like sis has these two powerful beings wrapped around her finger, scary dog privileges fr
Trust | Armand x Reader x Louis
ෆ born for stardom, but destined for chaos, the last thing you ever expected was for two old vampires to become your companions.
it is finally here, the amount of requests for these two has been ASTRONOMICAL 😅 I promise there will be more in the future!!!!
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“Open your hands,” your father barked. Holding out your palms, you winced, tears running down your face as the belt came in contact with your hands.
Drawing your hands back, he stopped you and roughly grabbed your wrist. Yanking your arm forward, he brought another lash to your stinging palms.
“You've been missing church to be at that bar, seducing those men like a harlot,” he screamed at you. You could see your mother looking away, too afraid to intervene. She never helped you, her marriage was first, and you were always an afterthought.
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to sing, I was only singing-
“Are you alright, my love?” Snapping out of your thoughts, Armand lifted your head to look at him. You sat comfortably on the floor, surrounded by the handsome models, but looked up at your maker, while he stared down, his soft curls in his face.
“I’m okay,” you smiled, watching as he went to stand next to Louis, who sent a wink your way. Knowing him, he heard or saw something in your thoughts and told Armand.
“Shall we continue?” The photographer asked nervously, relieved when Louis nodded at him.
"Did she have to be practically naked?" Armand asked.
"You look amazing, darling, fabulous," the photographer praised, snapping the pictures.
"She wouldn't have wanted it any other way," Louis said, as they focused on the photoshoot.
In the bedazzled lingerie, you posed provocatively, the male models surrounding you. Your fangs out, lightly pressed against the model's neck for the photo.
The model tried blinking away the headache, unable to see Armand glaring, using his powers against the young man.
You were above all these mortals, yet you allowed them to touch you so freely. You and Louis were more willing to work alongside the humans, allowing them a safe space, to feel comfortable, he would never.
"And that is it, I think we're done," the photographer announced, as your team clapped.
"Great, thank you all for coming," you said, pecking the cheek of the model your teeth were pressed against.
You could feel the intense gaze from your companions, territorial and envious. Standing, you walked in front of them, the staff eyed you in fascination seeing you move so fast. Since Lestat had revealed himself, Louis had been quite stressed. He had no intentions of getting back with the blonde hotshot, but he still cared deeply for him.
Mortals didn’t believe the authenticity of his claim to be a vampire, while the elders were furious. Out of love for your companion, and the thrill of living life on the edge, you revealed your own identity, taking some of the spotlight off of him and shifting it to yourself.
If you were going to break the ancient laws, why not go all the way out and serve cunt while doing so. Becoming the next biggest Pop sensation, you were sure to cross all boundaries, and the best part of all of this, you were elusive, untouchable by almost all vampires. Being with Armand and Louis, others were scared to even look your way, despite their desire to see your demise. The next Madonna? Britney? Gaga? Rihanna? no, you were better. You were selling sex, covered in a catchy beat and raunchy choreography, and the world was eating it up.
"You two looked a little close," Armand pointed out, while Louis stared at the model, as he slipped back into a shirt.
“Stop it,” you grabbed their jaws, forcing them to look at you.
"Don't I look tasty?" you changed the subject.
"Yes, although, I wished you would have worn something less revealing for our...guests"
"I thought you liked it when I showed off, Louis, do you like my outfit?" you nuzzled your nose against his own, as his hand went around your waist. Taking in your scent, he nodded.
"I never said I did not like it, or that you did not look ravishing," Armand recanted, wrapping an arm around you.
“I think you could show better than you could tell me,” you smirked. Closing your eyes, you hummed, feeling the pairs of lips against your skin.
“Beautiful,” Louis whispered, as he continued kissing along your neck.
“The most perfect,” Armand added, moving from your neck to your lips.
“I want both of you,” you said, in between the sweet kisses, hearing Louis’s low groan.
Armand was about to command the team to leave the penthouse. They had private business to tend to with you, when your assistant, Joy, came walking in, clearing her throat.
"My apologies, your reporter, he has arrived," she said, as the two men slowly pulled away. Your silk robe, flew across the room, into Armand's hands, before he began to place it onto your body.
“Aw, and I wanted to show him my outfit,” you laughed as Armand looked at you, the idea infuriated his thoughts.
“You've shown off enough today,” Louis said, going to tie the robe closed.
"Let him in," you said, giving them both a kiss of reassurance.
However, you ended up humming in approval, as the tall man entered, he seemed too handsome to be a reporter, a Clark Kent archetype.
"I'm Robert, it is a pleasure to meet you, Vogue is extremely eager to work with you," he held out his hand for you.
"The pleasure is all mine," you winked, snickering as he backed up, glancing at the two figures behind you. You could feel Armand’s icy glare, mixed with Louis’s judgmental frown.
"Don't mind them, they won't bite, will you?" You asked them. They remained motionless for a moment, contemplating simply shredding the guy into pieces, his thoughts loud, staring at your legs, your cleavage, the rouge lipstick.
"No," Louis said, he was usually first to give in. He was loyal as they came, too focused on pleasing you to go against you.
"Armand?" You turned to your maker. He stared emotionless at Robert, who uncomfortably shifted under his gaze.
"Love, tell Robert you won't hurt him," you said, as you held his jaw, his eyes shifting to you, softening.
"I won't," he agreed.
"See, they are very well behaved, they just don't like to share, we can go into the living room, it was recently redecorated," you exclaimed, intertwining Robert's arm with your own, while they followed behind, trying to swallow their burning jealousy.
Sitting across from you, the three of you stared at Robert, watching as he pulled out his notes and laptop before he cleared his throat.
"We have been thrilled about your willingness to work with Vogue, you are very inspiring to many artists, the youth, and I'm sure other vampires. I have questions from our team and you can answer them freely, and whatever is too uncomfortable, you just let me know"
"Okay," you nodded, crossing your legs, smirking as he looked, gulping as the robe rose slightly.
'Let's start with your persona, you claim to be a vampire, is this in any way connected to the rockstar, Lestat-
"No, he is not the only vampire to exist, my maker, is much older than him. I will admit, the ancient laws, so sacred and honored, are boresome, I think the both of us would agree," you said, pausing, as he typed your words.
"Ancient laws, could you elaborate for us... mortals?"
"Think of it like our commandments, no writing about vampirism, killing other vampires, don't turn children, no revealing your nature, and allowing the person to live. I could go further, but it's all incredibly uninteresting to me," you shrugged.
"How many others like you are there?"
"I'm not sure, I don't keep count of every vampire there is," you said, as you and Louis shared a chuckle.
"Will you only ask her questions about vampirism?" Armand asked, a frown already forming.
"It's fine," you told him, as he interlocked his fingers with your own.
"Um, your career, were you always into music, or was it a passion that came over time with your gift?"
"Oh, I've always had quite the stage presence, throughout my years in high school, I think I managed to play lead in every play. Also, there was a lounge near the apartments I lived in before I turned, I performed there regularly"
"Were you pursuing a music career?”
"Not really, I knew it was something I was good at, I mean, I was great at acting and singing, but I needed more than hope and a childish dream to pick up my entire life, to try to achieve either"
"Please forgive my questioning, but since you've revealed yourself, many are fearful of your potential eating habits, any comment?"
"I cannot speak for all vampires, but my maker, companion, and I all receive blood in the most cruelty-free way. Yes, we are technically able to do these things but there are better things to do than picking up random people to kill"
"Your maker? The person, or I should say vampire, who turned you?"
"Yes"
"Who is your maker?"
"Armand," you said, watching the emotion leave his face, as he briefly glanced at him.
"If possible, could you tell us a backstory maybe your previous months, leading to your transformation”
"No," Armand interrupted, before you whispered into his ear, Robert was interested in knowing what you could have said leaving the vampire much more relaxed than before.
“I was born in a small town, less than 5,000 people. Everyone knew everyone, and they all seemed to follow the same customs, until me. My mother told me when I was a child, she knew then, I would be a star, but my daddy thought differently…”
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“I swear, if she is in here, I’m beating her into next week,” your father, Joseph said, turning off the car.
“Joseph,” Sandra, your mother screamed.
“This isn't a grocery store, first she's missing church, now she is a liar,” he said, getting out of the car, his wife scrambling to follow him.
It was your mother who convinced him to let you have a job in the first place. You had been working at the next town over, for about two years now. You were able to purchase your own car and save money. The problem came in because you broke your end of the deal. You got the cashier job, but you still had to continue with church and choir with your family.
However, your parents didn't even know you didn't work at a grocery store. You managed to find a nice bar, willing to pay tips and you got to perform. Dressing up, you were able to sing and dance whatever your heart desired, as long as the lustful men got to watch you.
Easter Sunday came and went and you were nowhere to be found, leading them to begin investigating the town over, where they heard about the bar.
You stand straight as Tiffany’s
Diamonds, Diamonds
I don't mean rhinestones
But diamonds are a girl's best friend
As you finished singing, you nearly fainted as you made eye contact with your parents. Your mother had her mouth covered, while your father held a look of disgust.
The music, the form-fitting dress, the hair, the make-up, you were practically a lady of the night, dancing for these men. Nervously bowing, you accepted the tips, before you approached your parents.
“Where are your keys?” you father started.
“In my bag,” you winced at his every move, afraid of getting one of his brutal punishments.
He was strict, and it wasn't uncommon for him to get physical if he even felt like you were trying to act unladylike.
“Get your things now, you can ride back with your mother,” he told you, hardly sparing you a glance.
Quickly changing, you explained your situation to your manager, and before you knew it, you were awkwardly sitting in the passenger seat, as your mother drove you home.
“He’s going to kill me, mommy,” you whispered.
“Why would you do this, Y/n, dressed like that, tempting those men,” she stressed.
“You always said I was meant to be a star-
“That doesn't mean dress like Marilyn Monroe, of all people, she has a terrible legacy, is that what you want? To be seen as a sex symbol by all of those men?” she asked. Yes. Yes, you did, your embarrassing daddy issues made you crave the attention of men. If using your body and looks made them fall to their knees, you didn't care.
“I’m sorry-
“You’ll have to tell that to your father,” she cut you off.
“I’m 20, how long am I supposed to let him spank me as if I am a child,” you raised your voice at her. She didn't say anything the rest of the drive, pulling into the driveway.
Your father stood, leaning against your car, and as soon as your mother parked, he took long strides towards the door, opening it, and yanking you onto the grass.
Trying to get up, your efforts were futile, as he grabbed your hair, dragging you into the house. Your mother kept her head down, unable to watch the sight.
“Daddy-
“I won't let you become so whore, you are a young girl and you need to act like it,” he said, taking off his belt. You sat on your knees, crying, rubbing your head from the soon-to-be headache, trying to mentally prepare yourself for what was coming.
“Open your hands,” your father barked. Holding out your palms, you winced, tears running down your face as the belt came in contact with your hands.
Drawing your hands back, he stopped you and roughly grabbed your wrist. Yanking your arm forward, he brought another lash to your stinging palms.
“You've been missing church to be at that bar, seducing those men like a harlot,” he screamed at you. You could see your mother looking away, too afraid to intervene. She never helped you, her marriage was first, and you were always an afterthought.
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to sing, I was only singing-
“You sing at church. Not some bar full of lustful drunkards, you’ll learn, no more working, no more car, after this, you can reflect on your choices,” he said, as he began swinging the belt freely.
By the time he finished, you lay stiffly on the carpet, the welts already forming. You were too tired from crying and squirming to move around, but you knew one thing, you needed to leave as fast as possible. You couldn't stay in this small town and keep dealing with the treatment.
Forcing yourself off of the floor, you limped to your bedroom. Packing only a handful of outfits in a backpack, grabbing your stash of saved money. Once you were sure your parents were settled in their room, you snuck and took your car keys from your father’s jacket.
Running outside, you quickly started your car to leave. You had to get as far away as possible, and you could find a new job wherever you went. You had enough money saved to get an apartment, but as of now you simply wanted to drive, cry, and hope to end up anywhere better than this shitty town.
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“You are in luck, my dear, we just recently finished cleaning up a one-bed, one bath - the only problem is it is on the third floor, and the elevator only goes to the second,” the landlord, Gary said, smiling sheepishly.
“It doesn't matter to me, I need a place as soon as possible,” you told him.
“Then we can work something out, you seem like a sweet girl with a good head on your shoulders, I won't do a background check, just finish the application and we’ll go from there,” he said, standing as someone rang the bell in the lobby.
“Excuse me,” he said, leaving you, as you tried your hardest to hide your smile.
After hours upon hours of driving until you finally stopped in San Francisco, and the first apartments you checked, you were already finding a place to stay. Gary, the landlord, was the kindest old man, everything you wished your father was.
As he said, the process went by quickly, and before you knew it, both of you stood outside of the door, as he placed the keys into your hand.
“It’s only you and the neighbors across the hall, but you won’t have any issues, they stay to themselves,” he explained.
“Thank you so much,” you told him.
“Oh please, dear, I hope you enjoy your stay,” he told you, turning to leave you.
Your living situation was now secured, you just needed a job. The sun was beginning to set, but perhaps there were a few places you could check- your hand instinctively went to your stomach as it growled. Maybe you could eat something first, preferably something budget-friendly.
Driving around, the lounge caught your eye, Midnight Oasis, and they sold baked goods! Parking your car, you made your way inside. The room was dimly lit, most of everyone's attention on the stage. A man sat, playing a saxophone.
Going to the counter, you ordered a slice of the velvet cake, along with a cold-cut sandwich. Sitting at the bar, you watched in amazement, as the man played the instrument. Back home, you weren't allowed to listen to music on the radio, it was the devil's music, your father had even taken it out of your car.
All you had was old vinyl, bought at the record store, and all of the albums you owned were from the sixties or older. When you worked, you grew familiar with a few artists you liked, Queen, Donna Summer, and Abba, just to name a few, but you hadn't been listening long enough for any of it to stick.
As the cute plates were placed in front of you, you slowly ate, watching the performance. The man playing the music was quite handsome and had strong features, dark eyes, and a cute haircut. He kind of stood out, he didn't look like the type to be in lounges.
“Is he an upcoming artist? He's really good,” you asked the nearby bartender.
“Christopher? No, he's just a regular, the tips are nice so he keeps coming back,” she laughed.
“He doesn't work here?” you asked surprised.
“No, you sign up and the stage is yours for nearly an hour, you can do music, stand up, dance, whatever,” she said, as she cleaned the glasses.
“How do I sign up?” you asked, interested in the idea of easy tips.
“Sign that paper, I don't think anyone else has signed up, so you may be next,” she pointed out by the cash register.
“Thank you,” you said, going to the cashier to pay for your meal, along with signing the paper.
“Oh, you actually signed up,” the bartender said, surprised as you came back.
“Yeah, could I have two shots of…do you have whiskey?” you asked, taking out a few bills to pay.
Quickly making the shots, she slid them to you, watching as you reached for them.
“To new beginnings,” you mumbled to yourself. Throwing each shot to the back of your throat, you grimaced at the burning sensation, shaking your head sourly.
“That was Christopher with his self-written piece, next up, Y/n,” the cashier announced with a microphone. Exhaling, you took off your jacket and purse, revealing the shirt you'd cut into a crop top with daisy dukes.
“Could I leave this here?” you asked her, sitting it on the counter as she nodded.
Walking through the crowd, you could already feel the alcohol warming your body. You smiled at the variety of men, as their eyes widened, watching you walk past. Making eye contact with Christopher, you looked him up and down, moving to the microphone, while he walked off of stage.
“Hey,” you called out to him, biting your lip as he looked back at you.
“Do you play piano?”
“Yeah,” he nodded.
“Could you…” you motioned.
“Sure,” he grinned, coming back on stage.
“Do you know Natural Woman?”
“Uh, yes,” he nodded.
“Okay, follow along,” you chuckled, grabbing the microphone from its stand.
Lookin’ out on the morning rain, I used to feel so uninspired-
As you started singing, he began to press the keys, and the crowd of men began whistling, wooing you. Continuing to sing, you walked from the stage, passing a few of the men, swaying your hips. The performance seemed to catch the attention of nearly all of the employees, hearing how rowdy the audience was getting.
Sitting on one of the many tables, you looked down at both of the brown-skinned men. They stared at you as if you were prey, and in a twisted way, it only made you more confident in your appearance.
Hoping up, you went back to the stage was the song was coming to an end, dramatically bowing as everyone cheered for you. The staff, the audience, security, even people that had been walking by had came in to hear your voice.
“You were amazing,” Christopher started, as he stood up.
“I know,” you laughed.
“Are you new in the area? Maybe we could get lunch sometime,” he said, and just like that, he became unattractive to you.
“I don't know, it seems a little bit too soon for any of that,” you apologized.
“No, it’s okay, at least take my number, if you're ever bored, call me,” he said, quickly writing his number on a napkin and giving it to you. Grabbing his saxophone case, he waved, before he left.
Walking from the stage, you accepted the tips, from everyone. Thanking each of them with a wink, when a man stopped you.
“That was a beautiful performance”
“Thank you”
“My name is Donald Willis, I’m the owner of this establishment, and I would love to offer a position as a full-time performer. You would get paid weekly, along with your tips, please accept, we have been this crowded for years,” he said.
“Okay,” you nodded, excitedly.
“Come back tomorrow night and we’ll talk more, Miss Y/n,” he said, eagerly, walking away.
Going to the bar, you sat down, putting your things back on.
“You certainly know how to put on a show, and Donny offered you a job,” the bartender came back.
“Thank you, I’m so excited,” you beamed. Everything seemed to be falling into place for you, leaving home was one of the best things that could've happened.
“Brava, it has been a long time since I’ve seen such an eccentric performance,” you heard, making you turn around. Of the brown men, one was clearly black, but the other was possibly desi. They were handsome, with a hungry, and lustful glint in their eyes.
“You have a beautiful voice,” the second man spoke.
“Thank you,” you smiled.
“For you,” the brown man spoke, holding the folded bills, it had to be a few hundred, sticking the money in your waistband, you got goosebumps as his cool fingers brushed against your skin.
“I’m Y/n,” you spoke, they shared a smirk, before looking back to you.
“Louis”
“Armand,” you brown man spoke. His eyes felt like they were piercing through you and it only drove you crazier.
What was wrong with you? You loved men like your father, stoic, stern, a little evil, but what you loved even more was doing to them what you couldn't do to your father; break them. To have these scary men falling at your feet, there was no greater ecstasy. You certainly weren't a virgin, perhaps that was one of the many reasons your father was cold to you, but the distance between you both slowly was replaced by your nymphomaniac tendencies.
“Why’d you turn down the kid with saxophone, he seemed nice,” Louis asked.
“He’s not what I’m looking for, especially in a man,” you crossed your leg over the other.
“Really now?”
“Hm, I prefer older, mysterious men,” you batted your eyelashes.
“Is that what you think? You should get home, too dangerous for a young girl to be out alone,” Armand said, turning to walk away.
“I am not a little girl,” you told him, taking your purse, storming past him. You were too offended by his words to notice his smirk. They could hear your thoughts loud and clear, he could see the sass in your walk, this was the most intrigued Armand and Louis had been in a while.
“Hey, he didn't mean that sometimes he just speaks before he thinks,” Louis called out, trying to keep up with you, your humanly fast pace.
“It's okay, Louis, I appreciate it, not everyone can have the looks and a way with words, your loverboy lacks the latter,” you said, as Armand slowly approached the two of you.
“My apologies, I am very aware that you are indeed fully woman, I was only letting you know, that there are scary men who would give anything to hunt a woman with a face as cute as yours,” he told you, grinning as you mentally questioned why he sounded like he was from another time.
“Let them, I can handle myself,” you told him, looking away as his eyes explored your figure. He didn't even hide it, while Louis was more discreet.
“Hardly, it would only take one swift move, to have you against the car, if you knew any better, you would take my advice,” he said, making your laugh.
“Is that what this is? Your advice? You haven't been able to keep your eyes off of my cleavage since you introduced yourself, if you wanted me, all you had to do was say it,” you smirked, looking at him. He stared at you, before sharing a look with Louis.
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You are the dancing queen
Young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing queen
Feel the beat from the tambourine, oh yeah
Singing loudly, you vacuumed the large rug in your living room. It had been only a few weeks since living in San Francisco, and things were really looking up for you. You'd been hired at the Midnight Oasis and quickly became popular, the money growing each night.
Louis and Armand, you didn't see any more, which bummed you out. After that night, what happened between the three of you, in your car, you hoped they would at least try to keep contact. However, you couldn't stay stuck on the same two people, which is why you had already been on a lunch date with Christopher.
He was there nearly every other day, and after a few conversations, you agreed to meet him for lunch. He was sweet, the stereotypical good guy behavior. He wasn’t your type, but perhaps it was what you needed, instead of the same men you kept dealing with.
The sound of knocking interrupted your thoughts, lowering the radio, you rushed to the door and swung it open. Raising your eyebrow, you were surprised to see Louis.
“Hi,” you said.
“Hey, could you keep the music down a bit,” he smiled.
“You’re my neighbor, and I’m just finding this out,” you said, your eyes widening as Armand opened the door across the hall.
“We’ve known about you for some time now, just been busy,” Louis said.
“I was wondering when I’d see you both again, I figured you didn't want to see me anymore, especially since you both thought I was too much of a little girl to leave your number, but woman enough to fuck,” you raised your voice for Armand to hear. He had been staring, unblinking with those piercing eyes, never once speaking to you.
“You practically begged for it, but you are a young girl and you need to act like it,” Armand said, your eyes immediately watered, his choice of words reminding you of your father.
“Shut the fuck up,” Louis looked back at him with a frown.
“Don't listen to him-
“I don't know what your problem is, Armand, but I have some news for you. I certainly wasn't begging you, shrimp. I’ll keep the music down, Louis,” you said, slamming the door shut.
Leaning against the wall, you wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to calm yourself down. You had lied, trying to hurt Armand’s pride, he and Louis had been the best you'd ever had. You didn't understand what was his problem though. His eyes showed that he yearned for your attention, but the first time he saw you in nearly a month, he said something so mean.
The next morning, opening your door, you were shocked to see the bouquet. A small card, simply stating, “sorry”, not even a name. Balling up the note, you angrily took the flowers and tossed them in the trash.
As much as you were attracted to these men, it was best to do them the same thing they had done to you, leave them in the past. There were too many options for you to be stuck on two men you didn't know.
You began avoiding them like the plague, going to work and coming home. Occasionally, you made plans, but you mostly stayed in your apartment or at your job. Christopher because a recurring person in your life, and you didn't mind, if it meant the two would leave your thoughts.
I love to love you, baby
I love to love you, baby
I love to love you, baby
Finishing the Donna Summer song, you waved, facing Christopher as he pulled you into a hug. Rocking left to right, his hand rested on your lower back. Pulling away, you accepted the tips, before the both of you were at the bar.
“You did amazing, you always do, I don't think I've ever met anyone like you,” he confessed, his eyes shifting from your eyes to your lips. Laughing, you leaned close, pecking his lips.
“Would you like to come to my place?” you asked, tilting your head. Eagerly nodding, he stood as you held his hand, leading him to his car.
Back in the apartments, Louis leaned against the wall, and Armand sat on the sofa, trying to stop himself from destroying the area out of jealousy. They could hear you, loud and clearly. Your moans, giggles, the sound of the bed, he couldn't stop his leg from shaking.
“You can't be jealous, after what you did,” Louis told him.
“What have I done?”
“You were all inside her brain and used those words against her”
“You were in her thoughts as well, and I was trying to create distance between us, it will either be death or she is turned, if we reveal our identity. Something about her is very special, and I don't know if she should have the dark gift,” he confessed, grimacing as you whispered the saxophone boy’s name.
“That would be up to her to make that decision, I like her and I know you do too, so there is no reason for you to act like that, when you could just try to get to know her, outside of invading her thoughts,” Louis told him. It sounded very easy, but Armand couldn't help that he ended up saying the wrong thing.
Standing up, he could hear the two of you getting dressed, and soon your door opened, and you walked the boy to the stairs. Just as you were coming back, Armand opened the door, staring at you.
“Can I help you?” you rolled your eyes.
“You were loud,” he lied.
“Okay? Turn on the radio to drown me out,” you said, gasping as he was in front of you within a span of a blink.
“You choose to live vivaciously through your daddy issues-
“Excuse me?”
“When you are worthy of more than this,” he said, his eyes briefly looking down at the robe. Staring into his eyes, you smashed your lips into his own. Naturally, he picked you up, his hands moving down your back to your bottom. You moaned lightly in the kiss when suddenly, you slapped him.
He could see the tears building up in your eyes as you ran into your apartment, slamming the door. Looking back, he shared a look with a very disappointed Louis.
“You live vivaciously through your daddy issues, why the hell would you say that?” he asked Armand, as he came back into their apartment.
“I was trying to be nice-
“By bringing up trauma? When the hell has that ever worked for anyone?” Louis stressed, going into their shared room. Armand seemed like a lost cause, any possibility that he and his companion had to see or experience you again, was dropping, quickly.
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“Wait, so you had a threesome with your neighbors? They're not gay?” Christopher asked. He had become a regular at your apartment, oftentimes cuddling, talking, being intimate. In a way, he seemed like your boyfriend without the title.
“Not completely, obviously, because it happened, but Armand has been the biggest asshole ever since, it really has been too much,” you shook your head.
“Do you want me to tell him to back off?” Christopher asked.
“No, he has been keeping his distance, hold on, I need to give Gary my rent,” you gasped, remembering that he said he would be out of time for two weeks.
“You want me to come?” he said, watching as you slipped into the pajama pants and slippers, grabbing the check.
“No, it's fine, I will only be a few minutes,” you said, going to the stairs.
Making your down to the lobby, you rang the bell, hearing Gary call out, one second. Leaning against the counter, you patiently waited, jumping as your name was called.
“Y/n, how are you?” Louis asked as he and Armand entered the building.
“I’m okay, you?”
“Great,” he smiled at you.
“Y/n, I-I would like to apologize for my actions towards you, how I spoke to you is inexcusable, I spoke wrongfully one too many times without thinking,” Armand confessed. You didn't say anything, staring at him.
“Gary, I’d like to pay Y/n’s rent this month,” He said.
“No, I don't need you to do that,” you refused.
“I insist, think of it as payment for the emotional distress I’ve caused,” he said, counting out a few hundred dollars, and handing them to Gary, as soon as he came from his office.
“You can spend your money on something nice,” Louis told you, as Gary looked at you.
“That is very kind of you two,” Gary nodded in approval, taking the money, and going to his office.
“You didn't have to do that, you could have done anything else,” you told Armand, your heart fluttered as he smiled.
“I told you, think of it like my payment for the distress I’ve caused you, I knew matter to speak to a lady in such a manner, but I let my tongue run loosely in the presence of a beautiful woman like yourself,” he spoke. Your eyes widened, surprised by his words. He expressed as if he was a completely different person.
“Well…apology accepted,” you said, making your way to the stairs, both of them following close behind.
“Would you two like to come over for lunch-
“We have plans tomorrow,” Louis spoke, feeling guilty as you mouthed, ‘oh’.
“But you can come over tomorrow night, do you play board games?” he continued, blushing as you smiled, nodding.
“Then we will see you tomorrow, after sunset,” Armand told you, as you approached your apartment.
“See you then,” you nodded. As you entered your apartment, Christopher looked at you confused at your smile.
“You seem happier than before you left, something happened?” he asked.
“Nope,” you said, your smile faltering as he stood up.
“I have to leave, I have class early tomorrow, I’ll see you later?” he asked, putting his shoes on.
“Yeah, sure, I’ll just see you later,” you nodded, letting him peck your cheek, before making his way out of the apartment.
Christopher made his way out of the complex, walking towards his car, when he stopped, seeing the familiar man, leaning against his car.
“You, again,” he grumbled.
“I need your help, you’ve gotten to know Y/n, and how does one grand sound?” he asked, Christopher pondered on it.
The man had approached him, some time ago, offering him money, to have access to you. The longer he declined the deal, the higher the offers became. Christopher had been trying to hold out because he did like you, but he was a struggling college student. From his understanding, in your hometown, you didn't have any plans concerning college, and since you had been in San Francisco you had taken all of the money he could have earned.
“What is your name again, sir?”
“Joseph”
“Alright, Joseph, I will let you know when we can begin planning,” he said, shaking the older man’s hand before getting into his car.
Meanwhile, Armand and Louis began getting ready for bed, undressing.
“You did good, telling her how you feel,” Louis told Armand.
“You don't think I overstepped?” Armand asked.
“She agreed to come over, so it worked,” Louis told him, as he nodded in agreement.
“Right”
“We just have to wait for the right time to tell her,” Louis said, as they climbed into their coffins.
After spending countless hours observing, they had determined that you were indispensable, the crucial element to their companionship. The apple of their eyes, from the way you walked down to your sassy mannerism, they would do anything, be anything, if it meant they could have you.
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“Make your move, Y/n,” Louis taunted. It had been well over two weeks and you were beginning to form a friendship with the two males. Regularly hanging at their apartment whenever you were off or spending time with them after your performances.
“Armand, help me,” you whined, holding the cards close. You were losing terribly in the card game and with you asking for help, he immediately felt compelled, reaching forward, grabbing the necessary card.
“Why did you actually help?” Louis asked, as you laughed.
“Don't be a sore loser, Louis,” you pointed, before glancing at the clock.
“Oh god, it is getting late, I need to get dressed for work,” you said, standing up.
“You picked up tonight?”
“Donny asked me last minute if I could do it, you two should come, we can get a few drinks afterward,” you said, turning around. You caught a glimpse into their shared bedroom. You didn't know if your eyes were playing tricks on you, but it looked like a coffin inside.
“Sure, did you want to ride with us?” Louis asked.
“Will your boyfriend be there?” Armand asked, trying to hide his jealousy. Smiling, you stepped closer to him.
“I don't have a boyfriend, and no, I would rather my outfit be a surprise,” you smiled, backing out of the apartment, as Armand walked forward.
“Then we will be there waiting for you,” he said, taking your hand into his own, and placing a kiss on your knuckles.
Going to your apartment, you immediately began fixing your hair and makeup. Thinking about Armand and Louis, you couldn't help but smile, they were so interesting. A few of your colleagues warned you, claiming the men seemed strange and could potentially be dangerous.
You didn't believe that though, hanging around them nearly every day, despite how intimidating they were to everyone else, they were nothing but gentlemen to you.
Just as you slipped on your fitted dress, you heard a soft knocking on the door. Smiling, you were going to peek out and tell Armand or Louis, they had to wait. However, your smile dropped upon seeing Christopher. You hadn't seen him at all, for the last two weeks, he wasn't answering the phone, nor was he ever showing up to the lounge anymore.
“Y/n, may I come in?” he asked, unable to meet your eyes.
“Fine, you have some nerve, showing up after all this time, I was worried about you,” you said, letting him in, going to a nearby mirror to fix your lipstick, slipping your earrings into your ears.
“I’m sorry, Y/n,” he said, looking as if he would burst into tears.
“It's alright, Chris, no need to look so emotional,” you laughed, going to grab your car keys and heels.
“Forgive me,” he whispered, making you look back at him in confusion, when a cloth went to your mouth, roughly pressing against your face, until you fell unconscious.
At Midnight Oasis, just as Louis was parking the car, they felt weird feeling. You were in trouble, starting the car, then quickly went back to the apartment. Your door was shut, but by making the door swing open, they could see that you struggled only a little, knocking a few things. Picking up the cloth, it was obvious someone drugged you. Armand frowned, the cloth burning into flames before he stormed out of the apartment.
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Waking up, you groaned, your head throbbing. Blinking repeatedly, your heart was pounding as you recognized your surroundings. You were home. Trying to get up, you realized your hands and ankles had handcuffs on them. When suddenly, your father walked into the room, Christopher behind him, with his head down.
You didn't know when you got here, or how long you had even been here, but you had to get out of here, as soon as possible.
“Dad…”
“You have no idea what you’ve put your mother and me through to get you back home, it was thanks to this young man, I was able to get you back,” he grinned, patting his back.
“Chris?”
“I needed the money,” he told you, looking away.
“And you, young lady, you’ve shown why you don't need to be away from home,” he said, as Christopher hesitantly approached.
“Your neighbors, they- they are some kind of monster, it may be best that you stay here,” he tried to make you feel better, as he showed you the pictures. Louis and Armand, both biting into people, seemingly killing them, fire, lots of it, as they burn the bodies. None of it was logical, you had no logical explanation for it, but all you knew was the two had treated you with chivalry and you weren't going to trust him when he had kidnapped you for your father.
“You’re wrong, get away from me, I hate you, I hat-” You dropped your head when your father slapped you in the face.
“Thank you for your help, Christopher, take your money and get out of my house,” he said, as he began taking off his belt.
“Mom, mommy,” you screamed, tears already piling up in your eyes, out of fear. Five months had come and gone, you began to live a life, free of this, but in his presence, you were filled with fear.
She came from out of their room, tears in her eyes, and she shook her head.
“Joseph, don't do this, this isn't the way, please,” she cried. You both knew this spanking would be worse than any of them.
“Shut up, go in the room,” he screamed at her, making her lower her head at his tone.
Swinging the first lash, you gasped, feeling as if your breath had been taken away. Falling over, your face landed on the carpet, as you took a deep breath, although he didn't let you recover, as he began swinging the belt harshly. You would die, you were sure he would kill you from this.
You could hear your mother crying, begging him to stop, you had enough, even Christopher hadn't left, watching the scene unfold. He questioned within himself if he had made a mistake, in helping your father. You lay crying quietly, flinching after each hit when the door broke open.
Armand and Louis walked in, and immediately, Louis was in front of Christopher, snapping his neck. He had given you up for money, making him equally guilty. Your mother screamed as you widened your eyes. Armand stalked towards your father, fire appearing in his hand, as your father backed away from him. Crouching down, Armand ripped handcuffs off with ease, caressing your wrists, then ankles.
“What are you two doing here?” you sniffled.
“Here to get the woman we love,” he said, holding your face.
“What are y-
“We will explain, everything, but trust me when I say, you will never be treated like this again, you will only know love, I promise you. Louis and I will cherish you, seeing you for all that you are, if you allow us to be your companions. Would you grant us the greatest gift, to be yours?” he asked, as Louis approached, crouching next to him.
“Yes,” you smiled, wiping your tear-stained face, as they both embraced you.
“You whore, you’ve defiled yourself, giving yourself to these demons, who have committed acts against nature,” your father spewed, as the two of them slowly looked towards him.
“That is something I have to live with, Dad,” you told him, slowly standing up.
“Do you think I am letting you leave this house after you have shown you love what is evil, it would have been better if you had never been born,” he said, pulling out a pistol from his waistband.
“Joseph, no-oh god,” your mother screamed, the most terrifying scream, as the gun went off. Holding your stomach, you looked down at the blood on your hand, before your eyes went to Armand, then Louis.
Louis caught you, as you began to fall, while Armand stood, as darkness covered his eyes. You could see the fire sparking from his hand, your vision going in and out, as he gruesomely killed your father. Breaking his limbs, drinking his blood, setting him on fire.
Louis held you, trying to keep you awake, while he searched for the bullet. Finally, as he pulled it out, Armand rushed over lifting you into his arms. Louis looked back at your mother, who cried hysterically, about to stand up, you reached for him.
“Spare her,” you struggled to speak.
“I’m going to make the pain go away, okay,” Armand told you.
“Are you sure you want to do it? I can do it-
“No, I got it,” Armand said. All this time, in San Francisco, he had been trying to push you away with mean words, to avoid this happening to you — but now at this moment — he wanted only his blood flowing through your veins.
Struggling to nod at his words, your eyes began to roll back, as he began drinking your blood, and before death could take you, he pulled away. Your breathing was shallow, slow, and unsteady, as you reached to hold his face.
Using his nail to slice his skin, he brought his wrist to your mouth. “Drink,” he told you, watching as you slowly began to swallow, holding onto his arm. Finally, after you had enough, you let go, laying back in his arms, as your eyes went to Louis, reaching to hold his hand.
“We will teach you everything you need to know, in your new life, but things of your former life will have to be left behind,” Louis told you, motioning to your mother. Nodding, you watched as he stood up, approaching her. She flinched away from him, but he grabbed her, glamouring her, telling her a fabricated story, before sending her to bed.
Despite still having a wound, your stomach no longer hurt, but rather churned. Armand looked down at you, Patting your stomach, he smiled.
“No worries, it is normal, and won't last for long,” he said, kissing your cheek.
“What are we?” you asked him, as your body felt physically exhausted.
“We are vampires and we will have an eternity together”
“Promise?”
“I promise”
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“I’m sorry,” Robert said, genuinely feeling pity for you.
“Oh no, there is no need to be sorry, my father was a terrible man, as was Christoper, no different than Judas, it was unfortunate that I had been shot, but my maker and companion both avenged me, before I was given the dark gift,” you said, as Armand kissed your intertwined hand, while Louis kissed your cheek.
“And what of your mother?”
You remember as if it was yesterday when you got the letter in the mail. She was old, wheelchair-bound, and waiting for her time to come. She had sold everything and now lived in a retirement home. Louis had only wiped her memory up until the night you left, blaming her husband’s death on sickness. She wrote you a letter, begging that you would come see her, and out of curiosity, you showed up.
You felt bad for her, she couldn't help that she was brainwashed into the role of what was considered a good wife. However, when you showed up, first she praised how young you looked before she began to scold you. She couldn't believe you would up and abandon your family because of mistakes your father made, it was shameful, etc. You knew it was wrong, but you made her remember everything, a devious smirk on your face as you left the facility. She screamed that same scream from that night, terrified by the things she had seen and allowed.
“Her memory was erased and she lived the rest of her and died a happy old woman,” you smirked.
“After your time at Midnight Oasis was that the night of your music career, until recently?”
“No, I continued there a few more years and went on to do some behind-the-scenes work, songwriting, producing, a little bit of everything”
“Do you ever…do you ever think of seeing other vampires, or even people? An eternity seems like a long time to be bound to someone,” he managed to get out. You could practically see the steam radiating from Armand and Louis, as they stared at him. Laughing, you lay your head on Louis’s shoulder
“Not really, companionships are different than any average relationship, so the circumstances are really the same either”
“Miss Y/n, excuse me, but your meals have arrived,” Joy peeked into the living room.
“I’m afraid this interview will have to be cut short, Robert,” you told him, leaning forward, an enthusiastic grin on your lips.
“We will finish on Zoom, ciao,” you waved, as he blushed, packing his things.
“I will see you, then,” he said, unable to meet the eyes of Armand and Louis because of their harsh stares.
“Did you have to scare him?”
“He’s lucky he didn't get worse,” Louis said.
“Exactly, with his perverted thoughts, I should have ripped every limb from his pathetic body-
“If you two kill every person who wants me, who will fawn over me?” you asked them, while they shared an expression.
“Us,” they said, in a matter-of-fact tone.
“Obviously, but you like when I’m performing, being ravished with attention, not just you two but others,” you pouted, as you began to open the robe.
“Of course, but it is infuriating hearing the thoughts of everyone who thinks they could have a chance with you”
“Let them have their fantasies, it is on the stage that they can use their imagination, but you both know I won't be going anywhere any time soon,” you said, kissing Armand’s lips, then Louis’s.
“Promise?” Louis asked you.
“I promise,” you laughed, your pinkies wrapping around both of their pinkies.
“Miss Y/n, your first meal…”
i'm not sure about how i feel about this one, but time will tell…
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sad-emo-dip-dye · 7 months ago
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I’m trying so hard to be a hater but he served astronomical levels of cunt today
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glam-rock-boots · 1 year ago
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no one is ready for the astronomical levels of cunt crowley is gonna serve in this new season of good omens
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viktorpartner · 3 months ago
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✨ THE DAN AND PHIL LORE pt. 3✨
CHECK OUT PART 2: https://www.tumblr.com/ashleyeveerson/760707933651746816?source=share
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Phil ALSO comes out! (yeah no i'm not crying what? not them feeling comfortable enough to be themselves yeah). 2019 also brings us the adoption of a fish named Norman (a cutie) AND they also post pictures about their recent trip to Japan [the photo of Phil looking up to Dan behind the camera? yeah i am so normal about it, i swear]. There is hope in the horizon still for a Dan and Phil comeback...
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BAM! A certain virus runs wild and forces everyone to stay at home. Phil continues to upload solo videos which distracted so many of us during these dark times. Dan, however is AWOL and the only pic we have of him is a shitty screenshot of him in glasses and a mask helping Phil rescue an injured pigeon (lockdown was WILD).
Also, my boy Dan post a cryptic tweet that leads to the announcement of a self-help book named YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS NIGHT (because you will <3). Nah but I can't count how many times I've sobbed reading it, just him trying to help out others who have also struggled with mental health... istg i love this man
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Hey so THEY BUY THEIR FOREVER PHOUSE TOGETHER they're gonna kill me one day istg. "Dan and Phil just decided to pay a mortgage together", top 10 sentences that would kill a 2016 phan. They are slaying, they are glowing... also rip Norman the fish you will not be forgotten
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So during 2014 the fates (aka a random youtuber) foretold that Dan and Phil would be married in 2022. Since that clearly didn't happen the meme PHIVORCE united the phandom once more. ALSO Dan is out there shitting on youtube (as he should) and going on his solo tour WE'RE ALL DOOMED! Which i love with all my heart and also Phil being there for him every step of the way... AHHHHHHHH
Anyways a certain video called Dan and Phil finally tell the truth hits the internet and let's just say GOD DAMN. This also starts a wonderful trend amongst Dan and Phil in which they make fun of their audience (we deserve it ngl) and absolutley SHOCK US with new information about bonkers shit from their past [apparently they were offered a threesome MULTIPLE TIMES???]
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It's the end. They've decided to give up their channel "Dan and Phil Games" forever... let's take a moment and silent and mourn with a compilation of Heart eyes Howell
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...
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SIKE! We're back baby and we're better than ever!!! The goodbye video turned out the be an ANNOUNCEMENT of their comeback. They are back, Dil Howlter is here and Phil confesses to having dyed everything green in the house when Dan went on tour bc he missed him (OH GOD). Also, the Halloween baking video introduced us to the icon that is.... *drumroll please*
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SISTER DANIEL, the queen of making everyone reconsider their sexuality... she is the moment, she is an icon and she is serving astronomical levels of cunt at all time [jokes aside, Dan being comfortable enough to do drag in public, fuck they've come so far i'm so proud of them <3].
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And here we are in the future, it's present day and they are queerer and happier than ever. THE PICTURES I CAN'T ISTG. Also Dan's Birthday stream is beyond iconic. First of all my unproblematic kings make it a charity stream to donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund (using their public influence for good hell yeah)... And how did they raise the money you ask? WELL BY HITTING IS WHERE WE'RE WEAKEST. Sister Daniel makes a spectacular comeback, FATHER PHIL is introduced and Dan even dyes his hair red to be more Good Omens coded... which timeline are we living in again? like how is any of this real?
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Also them drawing the PINOF whiskers on their faces again... they're literally growing old together I'm gonna go sob in a corner. Also the fake apology video bc they have no fashion sense in the Sims 4 is hilarious as fuck. HOW CAN THEY POSSIBLY BE SO MUCH HOTTER ON THEIR THIRTIES EXPLAIN??
anyways the phandom is still speculating wether they're erasing "i love you's" at the end of their text when they show them on videos... guess some things never change. Nah but the vibes are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOW, they are more open than they've ever been and participate on the phan culture FULLY to the point that they're the ones terrorizing us now.
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QUICK DETOUR TO TALK ABOUT PHIL'S FAMOUS BAD LUCK (and then they wonder why he's always dying in the fanfics). Nah but my poor man has had his fair share of medical problems, the most recent being...
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OH GOD WHY WOULD YOU ANNOUNCE SOMETHING LIKE THAT THIS WAY?? nah like using humor as a coping mechanism and all but do they wanna gives a heart attack?! iconic i fear however
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So yeah the video where they talk about it is WILD (funniest shit about the whole ordeal is that a nurse mistook Dan as Phil's son). Also I saw a tweet speculating about Phil having a hickey like... first of all what is it? 2009? Second of all IT'S MOST LIKELY A POPPED VESSEL FROM LOSING ALL THAT BLOOD YOU KNOW
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They still were able to go on their vacation (aka the rodent boy summer) which gifted us with this iconic pics... ALSO they dropped a new Dan and Phil beats for summer go check out the names of the tracks istg they wanna kill their fans.
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Nothing is sacred anymore, they've infiltrated twtphan, they're actively reposting memes and writing fanfiction about themselves. It's the wild west, everytime you get a notification is like playing Russian Rulet. Cringe is dead and Dan and Phil ARE COMING NEAR YOUR CITY on a tour named "Terrible Influence" where Phil's spent 300€ on silicone. It's a wonderful time to be a phan.
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OKAY SO here's some stuff that didn't make the cut but that i find too hilarious to not mention. In no apparent order: DAN DRESSING UP AS A CATBOY, Dan and Phil playing technicians 1 and 2 on Big Hero 6 and two brothers on the Lion King (wtf was that also they gave the gorilas matching fringes), Dan dressing up as a golden pig (my boy has RANGE) and finally Dan being too embarassed to admit he stalked Phil and telling a reporter he was only asking for "editing tips" if you know what i mean
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Also a short compilation of Dan and Phil losing the idgaf war against eachother THEY ARE SO THOUGHTFUL ABOUT EVERYTHING. Special mention to Daniel's 🧡 when Phil praised "We're all doomed!" and Dan's ranch metaphor to describe their relationship (just go watch the mukkbang video OH LORD)
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SO, in conclusion... Dan and Phil's refusal to belittle their past and instead embrace it as part of their story while actively moving into the future alongside the phandom YEAH THAT SHIT MEANS SOMETHING. They're simultaneously healing our inner child while embracing us as the adults we've become i have many feelings about them
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So what are they?
They're just Dan and Phil.
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loreleyfromouterspace · 7 months ago
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third (or maybe fourth? doing my thesis is frying my brain sorry) DBD watch thought: The scene between Esther and the Cat King fucks so much, it might be one of my favourites actually. Both of them serving astronomical levels of Cunt, the Cat King taking time to simp for Edwin, Esther giving Mother, they both say 'to skin a cat' at the same time and then laugh loudly and without even a shred of humor, the Cat King saying 'I hate that joke' and Esther answering 'I know' without missing a beat before she beats him to death with her cane, the Cat King reincarnating into a black cat with fingerwaves and a leather jacket, 'that was my third life😠🙄' I love them
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capyclara · 1 year ago
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justin kirk at this specific award show.... serving astronomical levels of cunt
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gretavanlace · 2 years ago
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Blurred Lines
Jake kiszka x reader
18+ only! Minors do not interact!
Warnings: graphic sexual content, very light impact play, explicit language, overstimulation, etc.
Just a little something quick I whipped up because my life is now an absolute dumpster fire thanks to Jake and his eyeliner. Fairly lazy editing, my apologies in advance ❤️
Sexy? Yes, you had expected that. A feral crowd calling forth that smirk of his that proves he knows exactly what he’s doing. The wicked gleam in his eye that says ‘they want me and I love it’, you had expected that too.
What you didn’t expect, was the wild, white-hot flame that would be stoked way down deep inside you. The moment he appeared, a rock and roll angel…wings hidden beneath his jacket, you wanted to fall to your knees with a warm, wet, open mouth offering a home for his cock.
Eye liner. A sweep of charcoal along his lash line, expertly applied, rendering his gaze even more beautiful than usual. No man has any business being that pretty. Gorgeous, really. Feminine in the most delicious way. In the way that serves as a testament to the unwavering confidence and security in his own skin he possesses.
You had wanted him then, badly. Wanted to climb into his lap and kiss his lovely face, to suck on his bubble gum pink tongue, to rock your hips against him until he was so hard neither of you could bear it any longer.
Yes, you’d been down astronomically bad then, but now? Watching him destroy his guitar, fingers flying along the frets so rapidly they’re no more than a blur. Sweat glistening and rolling down his chest like diamonds as he flirts with the audience, stealing heart after heart, liner now smudged and messy from exertion…now your need is nearly painful.
If he were to curl a finger at you, you’d make your way over from side-stage and bow to his every whim…audience be damned.
You have to have him, and you don’t want him on the bus where you’re both forced to be gentle and quiet lest the others hear (although you’re fairly certain they still do from time to time). No, you want to fuck, with him behind you, looking like a whore of a pirate who stepped foot on dry land and somehow ended up here.
Never before have you ducked out before the end of their set, but there’s a first time for everything. If he swaggers off stage like usual - an arm will be wrapped around your waist in greeting as he bullshits with his brothers about the show…what went wrong, what went right, what might go wrong and right next time, it will carry on and on.
Normally you don’t mind. In fact, you enjoy it. But if you’re forced to stand around aching and fiending for the fix only he can bestow, you very well might begin tearing into him right in front of the others.
If he leaves the stage and his gaze doesn’t land on you immediately, he’ll forgo the post show back and forth in favor of hunting you down.
And it is to that end, that you find yourself waiting, not so patiently, in his dressing room.
It feels like an eternity, and exasperation is beginning to creep in when the door swings open.
“Where’d you go, baby?” He smiles through heavy pants of breath. “Were we that awful tonight?”
“Lock the door.”
“Why?” He looks confused.
Your patience is wearing incredibly thin. You want him just like this - covered in sweat, post show adrenaline coursing through his veins like the sweetest drug, screams of adoration still rattling about in his head “Just lock the fucking door, Jake.”
He reaches back and pushes the tiny button on the handle, eyes on you all the while, a quiet groan of lust escaping him when you lean over the vanity and hike your dress up over your hips. Panties are next to go, shoved down mid-thigh, blush pink lace as soaked and warm as your cunt.
“Look at you, my poor, pretty little thing. Does baby need some attention?” His voice is slightly hoarse. Always a tell as to how turned on he is. The man has no poker face when it comes to being buried inside you.
His reflection grows nearer in the mirror and your desire kicks into overdrive, shaking through your system until you’re practically vibrating with it.
“Fuck me.” It ribbons off your tongue with a tremble clutching at your throat. Twisting and squeezing in perfect time with the thunderous pounding of your heart.
His hands wrap around the curve of your waist, Chelsea boot kicking your legs further apart.
Your eyes burn into one another’s for a moment, the air in the room so thick with sexual tension that if you closed your eyes you might believe you were wandering through early morning fog.
He jerks your hips back against him, just to torture you with the heat of his hard cock, and that sets in motion what seems like a thousand movements.
Leaning forward, he sinks his teeth into your bare shoulder until you whine out in blissful pain, and then there is his finger, sneaking under the strap of your bra resting beside the mark of his teeth.
“Let me see them.” He snaps the elastic and then slides his hand between your thighs, growling low in his chest when he finds you dripping and clenching around nothing.
You chase his fingers as he teases them around, giving you just enough to pull whimper after needy whimper out of you.
“I said let me see them.” He sounds harsh and demanding, but you can see love behind the darkness in his eyes.
Yanking down on the neck of your dress, you take the cups of your bra along for the ride, leaving you nothing more than a half-dressed disheveled whore for him.
And that’s fine by you. You’d rather be a whore for him than a lady for someone else.
His tongue sweeps over his bottom lip as, at last, he finally slips two fingers inside you. “Look how fucking beautiful you are, baby. Play with them for me, and make it hurt. I know you like it.”
He feels you clench viciously around his touch the moment you take hold of your taught nipples, wrenching and tugging at them.
“You’re sucking me right in,” his breath is catching and hitching in his lungs. “I fucking love your cunt. So tight and hot. Velvet soft. Pink and greedy. What’s got her so worked up? Tell me.”
You try your hardest to collect your thoughts, but with his fingers circling into the spot only he has ever found, it’s nearly impossible.
In the end, it doesn’t matter, he figures it out for himself when you glance up and catch sight of the smoky eye his ruined liner has created…your eyes roll back in your head and he knows.
“There it is.” He sounds like sex drenched detective who has just cracked a case. “You like that? You like it when I look pretty for my sweet little whore of a fuck toy?”
“Yes…” the word drags out of you as you push back to meet his hand frantically. “Fuck me, Jake. Please, I need it. I need it so fucking bad.”
The teeth of his zipper hum open and suddenly you’re stuffed full in one smooth roll of his hips.
“Yeah,” a cocky smirk ghosts over his lips. “You’re soaked, baby. You love it, don’t you? You wanna paint my lips cherry red so I can kiss it all over this gorgeous pussy?”
You smack your palm harshly against the polished wood you’re bent over, biting down on your lip feverishly in an effort to keep quiet.
He reaches around and tugs it free…he wants every sound. Every moan and sigh, every call of his name. “Tell me I’m pretty.”
A flash of heat explodes in your chest, spider cracking all the way down to your toes.
Hand slipping downward, he wraps his grip around your neck, squeezing as if he’s trying to coax praise off your tongue with his touch. “Say it.”
“You’re so pretty, Jake…” each word is followed by a tiny gasp for air as he fucks into you harder and faster “A fucking princess with a cock. You’re the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.
He groans out an animalistic noise that springs goosebumps to life on your skin. His head falls back and you’re reminded of stage Jake, practically fucking his guitar, losing himself in the haunting notes his talented fingers call forth.
Once again, he finds your eyes in the mirror. “Come on, baby, cum for me. I’m so fucking close.” A shiver ripples through him as his cock jerks wildly deep inside you.
“Go ahead, Jakey…” you can’t tear your eyes away from him. “Give it to me.”
He shakes his head, sending his layers whipping around. “You first. I need to feel it. Fuck…be a good girl and do as you’re told…cum on my cock.”
A wail of a whine tumbles out of you, as you tighten around him like a silken fist.
“It's pretty, too.”
You’ve hardly made a sound, but he catches it.
“Is it?” The question drifts out with a hint of a slur - he’s completely drunk on you. “A pretty cock for a beautiful cunt.” He cracks a sharp smack against the outside of your thigh. “Now give it the fuck up, baby girl. I want it.”
Your muscles jerk and tense up tight as a drum listening to his teeth click together with a clenched jaw as he fights his own need. “C’mon sweetheart, please…”
The effort was valiant, but he loses the battle, and with a hushed call of your name, the sinful heat of his release warms you from the inside out and you wish you could keep it there forever. A bit of him secreted away safe and sound within you.
“Don’t stop..” you beg as his cursing cries morph into tiny whines of overstimulation. “Don’t fucking stop.”
He can’t deny you anything, so he carries on, fighting through it in order to get you there while you babble and moan incoherently, words peppered through. Harder. Right there. Keep going. Obscenities you’d be ashamed for anyone else to hear.
With the most endearing fucked out noise you’ve ever heard him utter, he sends you sailing over the edge, nails raking into the vanity, body shaking and squirming so intensely he is forced to wrap an arm around your waist to hold you somewhat still around his cock as it throbs and aches for mercy.
His forehead falls against your shoulder, tired, spent, satiated in the way he’s only ever felt with you.
Right here, you have all you’ll ever need…but soon, the spell is broken when you register the lowered hum of noise on the other side of the door. The place is slowly clearing out, the others are likely already on the bus wondering what the hell has become of you two.
There’s no time to shower, but you do your best at looking at least halfway presentable, futile as it is. They’ll see through you both right away, but it isn’t the first time your indiscretions have provided them with valuable material for their entertainment, and it certainly won’t be the last.
Taglist: @gretasintrees @greta-van-chaos @celestialfauna @s0livagant @groggyvanfleet @kiszkathecook @brokenbellz @llightmyllovee @doodle417 @seventieswhore @jake-kiszkas-smirk @paleshadow-ofadragon @weightofdreams-gvf @alisonwonderland29 @gretavanfleas @gretavangroove @sparrowofthedawn @xserenax-13 @tbagggvf @obetrolncocktails @tripthelightjaketastic @jakeslovehandles @poofyloofy @70sgroupielovr @heatmyfleet @age-of-nyahh @sammiboo162 @spicedandicedtea @jakekiszkasleftnutsack @saoirsemaeve @mywickeddivinity @dvrkblooms @paintmyhouse @tripthelightfandomtastic @tripthelight-fanfic @mckenna4 @sarakay-gvf @theweightofjake @joshsmama @sammysvanfeet @rhythm-of-space @highladyofasgard @jordierama @calumspretty
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daisyychainssj · 1 year ago
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OUTRAGEOUS levels of cunt being served at the back of the bus, the levels are astronomical from roier and Charlie specifically
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buqbite · 3 months ago
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we should go back to the bubble universe where welt gets raised by himeko and cocolia. i truly believe that this version of him would serve astronomical levels of cunt
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skkflower · 8 months ago
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double black more like serving astronomical levels of cunt
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strwbrryfire · 5 months ago
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george russell . you need to stop . your slaying levels too astronomical . youre serving too much cunt . your bitch too swag . they'll kill you
x / x
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