#THE BILL LITERALLY HAS ONE PART OF IT IN WHICH THE LANGUAGE IS SO VAGUE THAT IT COULD BAN SCIENTIFIC THEORIES FROM GEN ED
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crybabydraws · 2 years ago
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They just banned TikTok at my college. No school wifi for me I guess 💀
(please read the tags)
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sentientsky · 22 days ago
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YESSSS to all of this.
Bury Your Gays as a trope has been noted in media since the late 1800s, and it was often employed by queer authors looking to write queer stories and still have them published while also avoiding being arrested themselves. Execution of the trope frequently involved one party dying or being pushed to the fringes of society, and the other turning to heterosexuality (x). For instance, consider Spring Fire (1952). Of course, language can expand and change over time, so the definition might look a bit different today. As Alex pointed out,
Bury your gays is when a studio kills off a character either right after or a small while after revealing them as queer or showing aspects of a queer relationship. Bury your gays is Castiel going to superhell after telling Dean he loves him. Bury your gays is Lexa dying for no reason in literally the same episode she and Clarke get together, which meant killing one of the two only queer characters on the show. Killing Eve is bury your gays.
Neither of these definitions align with what happened in AAA. By positioning Agatha's death as nothing but an incidence of "bury your gays", we're denying the idea that queer characters can have complex, multifaceted stories which may sometimes, yes, involve death. For instance, consider Bill and Frank in HBO's The Last of Us. They both died, but they died together at the end of a long and happy life. Context matters.
Good representation doesn't just mean "perfect happily ever after wholesome uwu ending". It doesn't mean that every story has to end the same. In fact, demanding that every queer story eschew death would deny the intricacies inherent to queer experience, thereby collapsing us into a bland, uni-dimensional monolith. Which is not a vibe, honestly.
Again, we also have to consider CONTEXT. Agatha might be dead, but if we use a smidge of genre awareness, we can recognize that the fantasy setting permits her to live on as a ghost. Her story isn't over! The writers haven't thrown down their pens and gone "yep she's dead in the dirt cause she's gay. sucks to suck". No, she's living her best (after)life! And who's to say agathario won't persist even in its altered form (cue Agatha looking up at Rio with big wet ghostly eyes like "would you love me even if i were a worm? what about a ghost?") Once more, just gonna highlight this vitally important point from Alex:
The show is unapologetically queer and Agatha dying was NOT because she was queer—THAT is the defining part.
Additionally, anon idk what you were going for with your comment that,
[...] apparently nobody on team was even vaguely aware of media trends since killing off or demonizing lesbians has been a massive conversation over the last decade...
Just to clarify, how is this story demonizing lesbians? I ask this as a lesbian who watched the entire show. Death was a woman who happened to be queer. She is not demonized because of her queerness. Hell, she's not even a VILLAIN. She's just a force of nature. Agatha did some messed up stuff, sure. And she happened to also be queer. But like Rio, she's not positioned as "evil" for her queerness. I understand that queer-coded villains can have a negative impact on peoples' perceptions of our community by virtue of association. However, there was really no villain in AAA (besides Agatha's mother, of course. I hate that bitch). And regardless, if straight people can be portrayed as villains, why can't we? It's fun! It's interesting!
Glad Jac has heard us but confused that apparently nobody on team was even vaguely aware of media trends since killing off or demonizing lesbians has been a massive conversation over the last decade and the bury your gays trope in general is older than half the people working on the show probably.
Yeah, that part specifically is a bit... iffy.
Like I said, it's not all the difficult to have conversations or do a little bit of research.
Not that I necessarily have an issue with Agatha's death, but moreso just how they went about it. That's the part that always is an issue.
Like, I personally did not mind the Killing Eve ending as I thought they closed all the doors and it was written in a way that made perfect sense. This one wasn't.
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softguarnere · 2 years ago
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*sheepishly pops head around the door frame*
hiii darling, it’s me again hehe
I hope you’re well and have had a great day!!!
So I read your Bill fic where he comes in all protective and calling the reader “my girl” and I LOVED IT!! And it got me thinking, if you had the time and didn’t mind, I would love love loveeeee to have like a protective one shot fic of a lad of your choice (I mean we both know who my fave man is but it is completely up to you as I love them all and it’s truly whoever you feel you want to write for and who fits the ideas in your mind)
I just love the idea of a man seeing his girl in a pickle and knowing shes a strong, individual badass who’s literally here fighting a war and can absolutely sort it herself but definitely being the guy who’s like “nah she’s my girl, if I’m around she doesn’t need to bother handling it herself cause I got her always” I just swoon every time (and if it involves just a littleeeee bit of jealousy too then wow that’s jsut *chefs kiss*)
Hiii babe! I'm glad that you liked that fic, because I honestly had a lot of fun writing it 💕
The way that I became OBSESSED with this prompt after opening my notifications is unreal, truly. Omg, I love this idea. And since I know you like Speirs, I knew I had to write it for him 😉 I really hope you like it, and thank you for trusting me enough to write it! 😌
Ares and Athena
Ron Speirs x reader
A/N: Me? Making up battles for the sake of my own plot? Absolutely. This doesn't really take place between or during any particular episode, so if you're looking for accuracy, this ain't it lol. This is written for the fictional depiction from the show -- absolutely no disrespect to the real life veterans!
Warnings: war, mild language, sexism, the inevitable typos that come with writing and uploading a fic in the middle of the night
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This is Ron's favorite part of being in combat. The adrenaline that floods him when put into a high stress situation would make other men dizzy and unsure, but if anything, it heightens his every sensation and makes the world simple and clear-cut. Only a chosen other few would understand how he feels, and luckily, you're one of them. That's probably why you work so well together.
His heart swells when he spots you and a few E Company men in a small clearing up ahead. He stops his men behind him and calls out the challenge. "Flash!"
"Thunder!" You and your men respond, wheeling around to face him. Even beneath your cam cream and the grime that's smudged on your face, he can make out the relief that comes over you.
Relief is hard to find in a situation like this. The Germans have everyone in a frenzy, running wild, heading the wrong way, causing companies to split up as they try to reach their objective. Ron himself has a handful of his own men from Dog Company, as well as one from Able and two from Baker, and it looks like you and the Easy boys didn't fair much better in trying to stay together; he sees Bull and Liebgott, as well as Luz with his radio, and someone he only vaguely remembers from Fox Company -- a replacement, probably, based on his young looking face.
The men who know you also lose a bit of their tension. Having you and Ron together is like being led by Ares and Athena -- two fearless gods of war who seem untouchable in any battle.
"Afternoon, Lieutenant," he greets you when you unite in the clearing. "I assume that you've also had some trouble reaching our objective?"
You nod back in the direction from which you and the Easy men just came. "Kraut tanks have a strong defense along the tree line in the eastern part of the woods. We encountered a whole nest of snipers that sent us all scattering, and only a few of us managed to stay together. What about you?"
"Same story on the western tree line." Ron motions off to the left, where the trees start to thin out a bit. Beyond them, you can almost see where the greenery comes to a sudden stop, guarding the edge of a wide field. "Our objective is across that field, but we'd be totally exposed to the tanks on both sides if we tried to cross it."
A frown pulls at the corners of your mouth as you glance at the handful of men around you. "That just might be a chance we have to take."
Behind you, the man from Fox company scoffs. Your men roll their eyes at him, but Ron is surprised that you ignore him, choosing instead to pull our your map and begin unfolding it.
"If we want to make our objective in time to link up with everyone else, we're going to have to go back the way we came," the man says. "We can skirt the sniper, swing wide around the tanks, and make it to the other side of the field without the Germans ever seeing us."
"Snipers," you say without looking up from the map.
The F Company man blinks. "What?"
"Snipers, plural," you correct, turning back to look at him. "There's a whole nest of them. This forest is like their playground. Trying to sneak around them is like throwing a rock into a hornets nest and then hoping that they don't chase you." You gesture to the limited amount of men following you. "You saw how well that worked out when we found them by accident."
The man is undeterred. "I'm sure with some proper leadership we could make it through just fine."
Ron stiffens, but before he can gauge your reaction and react appropriately, Liebgott has smacked the man on the back of the head with just enough force to make the man reach up to touch it on reflex, even though his helmet probably protected him from any serious damage.
"The only way we'd stand a chance against them is if we had Shifty Powers with us," Liebgott snaps. "Which we don't. So why don't you shut up and stop questioning our Lieutenant?"
Even though you're still looking at your map, Ron doesn't miss the small smile that flickers across your lips. It makes him feel . . . strange, somehow, but he can't really place a finger on why.
The problem is that your relationship isn't exactly a secret -- it's just that you've chosen not to tell anyone about it. (The only person who either of you have told was Lipton, and that was only because he caught Ron kissing you on the forehead one night when you were all billeted in the same house. As far as he knows, Lip hasn't told anyone.)
Anyway, why should you have to tell everyone? Besides the worry that some of the officers higher up might frown on it and call it unprofessional, no one has ever said that you couldn't have a romantic relationship with another officer. And it's not like it's anyone's business but yours.
But there are times that Ron wishes everyone knew, because it might make things easier. Sometimes he thinks that if he were more casual and less self-aware, then he could joke around like the other men. If he were less conscious of holding up his front, then he could smack that guy himself.
Would you want him to, though? You're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, both in and out of combat. Defending your honor isn't something you've openly discussed as part of defining the parameters of your relationship. Now he wishes that it had been, though, because watching Liebgott defend you and watching you smile makes his chest clinch with a feeling that he hasn't felt since his school days, when he was always striving to make sure he wasn't outdone.
Jealousy, he realizes. He shouldn't be jealous of Liebgott just because he told the F Company man to stop questioning you and gave him a good smack on the head, and yet . . .
"Back in my company, I'm a sergeant," the Fox Company man brags. "It's not like I have no clue what I'm talking about."
"Last time I checked, us sergeants were below lieutenants," Bull says nonchalantly.
"What does that mean?"
"It means that you don't question the authority of a ranking officer."
Ron leans over the map you hold and lowers his voice. "Who is this guy?"
You shrug, keeping your voice down as the men behind you bicker. "Some sergeant from Fox Company. Patterson, I think. He's been like this ever since he linked up with us." You pause, your tone hardening. "Well, ever since he learned who was in charge."
Oh. One of them, then. One of the men who didn't believe in the female paratrooper program, who didn't believe that women could rise in the ranks, and who didn't believe that they should have to listen to them. Ron thought they had gotten rid of most of them by now.
"Ranking officer or not, I cannot stand by and follow orders that will put myself and others in danger." Sensing that he has no support from your E Company men, Patterson peers around to where Ron's men stand behind him and jerks his head, urging them to follow him. "We're going back the way we came."
Ron shoots his Dog Company men a glare, but it's unnecessary -- not even the few strays from Able and Baker have even thought about moving. No one is moving except Patterson, who's turned on his heel and is about to stomp back into the eastern part of the forest.
The map makes a strange sort of slapping noise as you throw it to the ground in frustration, causing it to land on a bed of dead leaves and sticks as you whirl around to face him. Any anger you felt towards him was well concealed until that point, but now, like any officer would, you've reached the breaking point.
A point you shouldn't have to reach, Ron thinks. When male officers snap at someone, everyone always says that whoever they lost their tempers at had it coming. But whenever a female officer does it, people whisper behind her back, saying that she lost her cool and that she's overemotional.
Maybe you can handle this on your own, and maybe you've never voiced any preference for where Ron should be during your more personal battles, but he makes an executive decision then and there, that no one gets to treat you that way. And it's not because you're an officer who deserves respect -- it's because you're his girlfriend, an intimidating and powerful goddess of war, and no one gets to doubt you.
He's caught up to Patterson in a few quick strides. Fast enough that the sergeant doesn't have time to register another presence until Ron has grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around.
"Where the hell do you think you're going?"
Patterson's eyes must catch the name on Ron's uniform, because his eyes go wide as saucers and his face turns paler than the moon. He starts to stammer out some excuse, but Speirs cuts him off.
"The correct answer, Sergeant, is that you're mutinying. And do you know what we do to people who mutiny in the Army?"
The sergeant's eyes are still fixed on Ron's nametag. He doesn't need Speirs telling him what happens to people who don't follow orders -- he's heard the stories about what this particular man does to them.
"So I'm asking you again: where the hell do you think you're going?"
"Well, I -- uh, I --"
Ron shakes him again. "I'll tell you where you're going. You're going to fall into line behind Lieutenant (Y/L/N), follow her orders, and cross this goddamn field so we can reach our objective." When Patterson still only stutters, Ron shakes him. "Do you understand me?"
"Y-yes, Sir."
"Good." Ron steps aside and jerks his head towards you. "Now salute the Lieutenant and tell her how happy you are to follow any orders she gives you."
He looks like he'd rather kiss a frog, but Patterson's suddenly shaky hand comes up as he salutes you, and, as Ron ordered, tells you that he's ready to follow your orders. He's so shaken that he even offers to go out first, if it's what you would like.
"It's my plan, so I'll lead the charge," you say before diving straight in to explaining your plan for crossing the field. "Patterson, fall in. And the rest of you? Follow my lead!"
--
He doesn't really have to knock on the door, Ron knows, but it's a formality that he can't shake, no matter how long the two of you are a couple.
It's late. The house the two of you are quartered in is quiet, with everyone else having easily slipped into sleep after an exhausting day.
After successfully crossing the field and reaching your objective, there had been the matter of finding the rest of Easy for you, the rest of Dog for Ron, and returning the lost soldiers you had picked up along the way. (Not to mention that Ron had made a pit-stop to lodge a complaint against Sergeant Patterson for insubordination, and then another to ask Winters for the paperwork to recommend that you receive the proper accolades for the excellent leadership and professionalism you demonstrated when leading everyone to your objective.)
But even after all the excitement, Ron can't sleep.
You crack the door open and peek out. Realizing it's him, you open the door all the way, your smile inviting him in.
"Are you staying with me?"
He's about to tell you that he just wanted to check in, that he doesn't want to get the two of you into trouble, but something stops him. How can he know where the boundaries are in this relationship if you never officially set them?
"Do you want me to?"
"I'd like that very much." There's no hesitation in your voice. It's admirable, how sure you are of everything you do.
"I wanted to talk to you, if you're not too tired," Ron admits. He perches himself on the edge of your bed, but a second later he's leaning back onto the pillows as you find a place beside him, leaning into his side.
"What about?" You have a feeling you know, but you don't know why he wants to talk about it. Ron isn't the easiest person to read.
He's glad that he thought about what to say before finding you. Other people might have hemmed and hawed to avoid a potentially uncomfortable conversation, but he knows that you're going to get straight to the heart of the matter, just like he would.
"You're a very strong woman," he begins. "I know that you don't need me -- or anyone else, for that matter -- to fight your battles for you, but I want you to know that I will, if you want me to." Beside him, you crane your neck so that you're looking up at him when he says, "I'm sorry if I overstepped today. I just wanted to be the type of man who could take care of you."
Softly, you press your lips to his cheek. "You want to know a secret, Ron?"
"Hmm?"
"Even the people who appear to be the strongest like to know that someone has their back; that someone is in their corner, ready and willing to stick up for them."
"You didn't mind that I . . ." That he what, exactly? Transformed from Ron Speirs, your boyfriend, to Lieutenant Speirs, the legend whose name and the stories associated with it keep new replacements in check?
You shake your head. "No. I don't mind. I'm glad to have someone who would take up for me like that."
"I'll do it again, if I have to," he assures you.
"And I'll be there for you, too." Lightly, you press on his shoulder so that he has to fully lay down on the bed. "Not just to fight," you explain as you adjust the pillows behind you. "To make sure that you get some sleep, as well."
He has to laugh; the only person worse about following a sleep schedule than him is you -- part of the reason you first connected, one of the first things you found yourselves having in common -- but after the day you've both had, he won't argue.
As he closes his eyes to fall asleep to the sound of your gentle breathing, he thinks about the Greek gods, and learning about them in school. Because, he thinks to himself, Ares might have fallen in love with Aphrodite, but he much prefers you -- his Athena, his goddess of war.
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cayenne-twilight · 4 years ago
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Professor Layton Iceberg Explanation
As I said in the tags of the original, the iceberg I made was a meme consisting of both real theories and satire/parodies/fandom memes. If anyone is interested, I can work on an unironic version that only has real theories.
Buckle in because this post is LONG and heavily saturated with lore and information.
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Actual theories
Parallel universe 1960s where the world wars didn’t happen. There’s an unused file in Curious Village that shows the year as 1960 and the time machine from UF is set to 1973, ten years into the future. The series canonically takes place in an undefined time period (hence the technological inaccuracies and fantasy elements), but it’s based off the 60s. There’s more evidence but we don’t have time to go over every little thing. I linked my “no wars” theory below but TL;DR the outdated airplanes and underdeveloped medicine in the Layton series imply that the world wars may never have happened. https://cayenne-twilight.tumblr.com/post/632205992162099200/outofcontextdiscord-timegearremix-zonosils-war
The real meaning behind the statue in Future London. In UF, the purpose of the statue is to spark Layton and Luke’s conversation about their friendship. Luke is stressing out about moving overseas and sees himself and the professor in the story behind the statue, but in the bigger picture, Clive must have been the one to commission it. Some theorize that the little boy is Clive and the man is either his father or the professor. One idea I’ve seen is that Clive wishes he could be Luke for real, while another is that he wishes he died ten years ago, and another is that he’s literally terminally ill explaining why he doesn’t care about consequence. Personally, I think “the boy succumbed to his illness” refers to his mental illness seeing as he wanted the professor to save him from his madness as he saved him all those years ago.
True location of Monte D’Or. there are no deserts on the British isles to my knowledge, so it makes the most sense for Monte D’Or to be in Southwest USA where English is the default language, they have a desert, and there exists a city famous for flashy hotels, casinos, and entertainment. What makes it odd is that nobody ever mentions overseas travel, and all the major characters are from England.
Loosha’s origins are not explicitly explained if I remember correctly, but the implication was that her prehistoric (supposedly) species was sealed away along with the garden, allowing them to survive all the way to the time of LS until Loosha was the only one left. The garden provided a good habitat and protection from predators, and it’s logical that they’d slowly die out anyways, but there’s no explanation of any specific factors that led to Loosha being the last.
Beasley is not a bee I wrote a post about this one as well, but TL;DR Beasly lacks several defining bee traits whilst having several human ones. He is not human, yet, by definition, not a bee. It’s possible that he is the result of Dimitri’s testing, but whatever his untold story is, he remains an enigma of nature. https://cayenne-twilight.tumblr.com/post/632381715250282496/theory-beasly-isnt-a-bee
Subject 2’s identity is currently unknown. There is a subject one (parrot) and subject 3 (rabbit) so there has to be a second. For a long time, people suspected Beasly to be him seeing as he’s a bit of an amalgamation and definitely not a regular bee (see above). After the release of LMJ, though, people began to suspect Sherl, the intelligent hound who could speak to certain people but not others. That being said, it’s possible for one to be subject 4. Sherl’s memory of a bright flash matches up with subject 3’s memory of being electrocuted. They never explain why the animals were being experimented on, but it was probably Dimitri making sure the conditions of his machine were safe for humans before reliving the incident from ten years ago.
Lady Violet died from the plague from DB. There’s no evidence for this or anything, it’s just an idea. People say she died from the flu but I don’t remember them saying that in the game, at least the US version. Extending off my “no war” theory: it’s theorized that the Spanish Flu was spread by the travlelling soldiers, so if that’s true, it’s possible for the epidemic to have been averted for some decades. Maybe the Spanish Flu reached England later than in real life. The hole in this is that DB’s plague must’ve been close in time to 1918 while Violet’s death was much later, so it would’ve had to stick around.
Bill Hawks is working with Targent and Arthur Cantabella. There was a force in the shadows buying the time machine technology from Bill. Someone with a ton of money who helped him cover up a freak accident and get away with it completely, a feat that involved shady means like violence by hired thugs. Some theorize that it was Targent, seeking power over time in exchange for a little mafia magic. The Labarynthia project was sponsored by the UK government, so as the PM, Bill must’ve known about it. He probably supported dubiously ethical, high stakes (witch pun) psychological experiments like Cantabella’s and helped him stay in the shadows.
All the NPCs in St. Mystere and Folsense are dead. I make fun of this type of theory later, but they’re admittedly captivating. I’m pretty sure the canon in CV is that the villagers are Bruno and Augustus’s OCs that they made robots of and built a town around, but it’s more interesting to think that the village was there before, and the townspeople died of a plague and were replaced like Lady Violet. In Folsense, there really was a plague and they never explain the NPCs there. They’re either real people who appear way younger than they are due to hallucinations (even the ones who already look old ?), or they don’t exist at all, which is pretty spooky. This part of the story is a gaping plot hole. In a similar vein to CV, the edgy yet plausible theory is that they used to live in Folsense but died of the plague and now live on as hallucinations.
Hershel seeing everything as a puzzle is a coping mechanism for all his trauma. This was a joke but I thought about it for more than five seconds and it makes way too much sense.
Plot holes and unexplained questions that we like to overthink because it’s fun
The downfall of the Azran was vaguely explained in canon by people being so greedy that it lead to the civilization collapsing. It’s not a stretch to imagine that happening, but it would’ve been more interesting with a little more detail.
Layton and Luke are programmed to routinely forget how to walk. I didn’t know whether to list this in the joke section or not, but it’s odd that the characters actively participate in the walking tutorial (as opposed to showing a little memo to the player) as if they didn’t know how to before, especially when they go through this several times a year.
The truth behind Pavel. He’s simply a joke character who teleports, is a polyglot (sort of, at least he wants us to think he is) and is mega confused all the time. He’s a fun character to make crack theories about because of his cryptic nature that even he doesn’t seem to understand.
Miracle Mask deleted scenes. The first trailer for MM featured animations that were not in the final game. One was the Randall falling scene, except in a slightly different style than the one we know. Others were completely foreign, like Layton and Luke pacing across a theatre stage as if Layton’s about to expose someone with a dramatic point. Cut content and “could’ve beens” are always curious to think about.
Evan Barde: secret mastermind. Arianna and Tony’s dad is a mysterious character who died under mysterious circumstances. I think the canon is that his death was a genuine accident, but concept art of him making a creepy evil face suggests that maybe he originally had a larger role in the first drafts of LS than the finished game.
The secret to how Paul and Des pull off their disguises is unclear and will remain unclear. There is no plausible explanation for their shape shifting. Unless Paul is just a little dude wearing a human suit like that one Wizard of Oz species and Des is the best quick-changer ever and hides his naturally feminine legs under his cloak.
Alfendi’s mom. When LBMR came out people scrambled to piece together who Hershel had a kid with, but there’s no way alfendi is his biological son. This happened with Kat as well and her biological parents turned out to be brand new characters, so I’m sure Al will get an adoption backstory if his arc continues, be his parents old major characters or nameless, faceless NPCs.
Granny Riddleton and Stachenscarfen are omnipotent deities. Idk which section this fits best under, but these two characters have some serious power. At first introduction, they’re implied to be robots, but they appear everywhere in later games. They follow the Professor wherever he goes and assist him on his adventures, GR collecting puzzles and housing them by some odd magic, and Stachen teaches you how to walk. They both introduce and supervise the gameplay. By extension, I guess this idea could apply to Albus as well in the prequels. GR and Stachen even had the power to appear in LMJ, something no major character could do. I consider them akin to the velvet room attendants from the Persona games.
Clive’s kill count is a vague subject in the game for the sake of keeping it PG. I don’t know if anyone’s ever mathematically estimated the damage he caused, and I sure don’t want to try, but the game appears to push the idea that he didn’t kill anyone at all, saying they stopped him in the nick of time and things like that, even though we watch him raze the city. If they ever want to bring him back post-time skip, I can see them twisting it so that the mobile fortress cutscene wasn’t a linear sequence of events, but instead a compilation of scenes over the course of hours so that London neighborhoods around him could be evacuated and have it make sense. Knowing Level-5, it’s more likely that they wouldn’t think this deep and do something more lazy, though.
Memes and references
Post-time skip Flora is real references the famous L is real theory from Super Mario 64. Like Luigi in SM64, Flora was also a highly anticipated character who didn’t appear in a new game, in this case LMJ or LMDA. In the end, Luigi did become real in the DS port so hopefully Flora is real will be realized as well.
Hershel can’t read is a veteran fandom meme referring to how in the first few games, especially Curious Village, Layton asks Luke to read every document out loud for him. Perhaps this was an exercise to improve Luke’s reading skills and independent thinking, or perhaps he was just too lazy or preoccupied to do it himself, but this grew into the joke that our genius Professor was actually illiterate this whole time.
Layton’s smash invitation is hidden in PLvsAA. It’s no secret that the fandom would kill a man to get the Professor into the smash brothers franchise. In PLvsAA one of the puzzle artworks features a goat eating a familiar white envelope with a red stamp, sparking the joke that either Layton or Wright got the invitation their respective fans desired, but it got lost along the way.
The science board is the mysteriously vague organization Don Paolo got kicked out of for the crime of being evil. It’s the epitome of liberal arts majors and art school graduates trying to bs their way around not knowing any science and failing miserably. “He was very good at all the sciences, but then the CEO of science told him to stop because he was using the power of science for evil science”. They do this again when “Dr. Stahngun” describes his time machine what with the soolha coils and whatnot.
Hoogland is death cult initiation is a parody of “Mario 64 is Freemason initiation” which is ridiculous, just like the creepy human sacrifice subplot of AL.
You can see the reflection of someone watching you in Aurora’s eye references the famous, creepy Talking Angela theory. In retrospect it would’ve been funnier if I said Angela instead of Aurora.
Every copy of Professor Layton is personalized references the famous “every copy of Super Mario 64 is personalized”
Clive’s fat ass in HD is a meme that originated from the announcement of UFHD, saying that half of the excited fans wanted to cry again while the other half were simply attracted to Clive. If we want to enter real bottom-section-of-the-iceberg-chart territory then let’s say Clive’s character has some sort of psychological siren properties that draw people to him like a magnet and/or Harry Styles.
Things I pulled out of my ass for shits and giggles
Infinite hint coin hack: I’m sure a tech savvy cheater could hack the game for infinite hint coins, but there’s no easy or interesting way. I don’t know why someone would do that though, considering a lot of the hints suck and there are puzzle guides on the internet.
Cringy, unused Randall villain monologue. This joke is derived from the actual scrapped MM content as well as deleted content being a popular element of iceberg charts, but it’s sadly not real. Would’ve been hilarious, though.
Last Specter Puzzle 031: Light Height tracks and records children’s intelligence level. It doesn’t, but it’s always fun to make fun of arguably THE most ridiculously difficult puzzle in the franchise. (Seriously, do they expect 7+ year olds to know trigonometry???)
Hershel struggles with tea addiction. Hershel from the games drinks tea in moderation, but the manga begs to differ. He has a tea set in the Laytonmobile, and an attempt at teatime while driving causes him to crash.
Folsense is a metaphor for Alzheimer’s. This is inspired by those edgy kids’ show theories where everyone’s in hell or something, but nobody has ever said this.
London Life is reality and the plot of the games is all in Luke’s head. That’s one way to fill every plot hole. How funny would it be if Luke made up crazy characters and stories based off his fellow townspeople Sharkboy and Lavagirl style. “This dude who lives in a castle and asks people to give him all their money for nothing in return is a vampire from 50 years ago involved in a tragic love story”.
Secret ending encoded into Tago’s Head Gymnastics. It’d be crazy if there was, and Dimitri would hound Tago for the secret to time travel. If you didn’t know, the Layton games started as an adaption of Akira Tago’s puzzle series, except they decided to add a story to make it more interesting and marketable.
Daily puzzles datamine your DS. I’m bad with technology but is it even possible to datamine a DS??? Idk, but I think my DS lite from 2008 is safe.
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forestwater87 · 4 years ago
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I'm screaming. I just realized this was the legendary Forest Water from Ao3, the creator of the fandom last names Santos and Greenwood, and I didn't know all this time?! What?! I can't actually believe it. Your stuff is legendary! I really enjoy your fanfiction, and you're a great creator. Any advice for a fanfic writer who starts to write a Gwenvid longfic? Any tips on how to become a sucessful fandom memeber? Sorry this is so long, I just really enjoy your work!
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These two happened to dovetail really nicely, so I wanted to respond to them in a single (very long) post. I’ve talked a little about getting started writing in the past, but specifically about writing Gwenvid? That’s a little different, and interesting to explore.
I think, anyway. But I always find Gwenvid interesting.
1. Thank you! 
I don’t consider myself especially famous or special -- certainly not anymore, when my updates to my flagship fic are annual at best -- so it’s a little weird that there are people looking at me like that. However, it’s also really touching and encouraging, so I’m at a loss for words. Not sure how to respond to such kind comments, so . . . you know, thanks.
2. Writing Gwenvid -- especially longfic
Here’s the thing: There isn’t a single fic I’ve written that I expected to become long. The first “Tigger & Eeyore” was supposed to be like 5 chapters and then ballooned into 14 and a sequel (which it’s now looking like is going to explode into its own sequel, so yikes). 
There’s a reason they’re called plotbunnies: they multiply like crazy. So if you have a single-shot idea or shortfic that you’re not sure will have legs, just start writing it. It might end up wrapping up rather quickly and you can move on to the next idea without it hanging over your head, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it becomes something much larger totally organically.
Also, keep your plots kind of . . . vague? At least, in my experience I’ve found that helps. A generic idea of the world you want to build and a couple set pieces (i.e., major conflicts or story beats) gives you room to play around without pressure to make it “add up to” something. I’ve never written a fic that had a story in the first 4-5 chapters, and that’s how I like it. It’ll . . . just sort of materialize, while you’re exploring the world.
I mean, if you want to write a tightly-paced epic with a twisty, intricate plot, then you’re going to want to find an author who does that sort of thing. My stories tend to be a lot more meandering.
OH! Also get really flowery with your language. Eats up word counts like Wheaties.
Okay, but Gwenvid specifically: if you want to be mostly canon-compliant, the big thing is that we only see them in the context of this one improbably long summer. There are years of story before and after that point that we’ll never get to see, and I think it’s really interesting. (Especially the before part; I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone write a “prequel” to Camp Camp, but how fun is that idea???) When it comes to “fill in the blanks” fanfic writing, it’s really nice to have a story, relationship, and world with so many blanks. There’s a lot you can do just by writing about what they’re up to the rest of the year.
As for AUs: go nuts. Fucking go wild, you funky lil person. Groundhog Day. Ghostbusters. Lost in Translation. Movies that don’t star Bill Murray, probably. Find a straight couple and make them Gwenvid, and go goddamn bonkers with the possibilities. Find a world with Gwenvid-like characters and make them Gwenvid. The possibilities are literally endless. 
3. Fandom engagement and being a BNF
Huh. Not sure where to go with this one.
Like I said, I don’t consider myself much of a BNF (that’s “big-name fan,” for those of you who might have a life outside of tumblr) -- certainly not anymore. And honestly, becoming “popular” in this economy fandom isn’t . . . necessarily going to be super easy.
I mean, don’t get me wrong! The fandom isn’t dead by any means; people are still writing, and still being read. But if you look at the track record over time:
Average kudos counts of Forestwater’s fics by year:
2016: 574
2017: 277
2018: 79
2019: 60
2020: 50
(if you ever wondered why I had a serious emotional crisis about the quality of my writing and general popularity in 2018 and 2019, that drop should tell you a lot)
Now, some of this is certainly my fault. The most important thing when it comes to fandom success is engagement: the more you write, the more attention you’re going to get. If you can stick to a regular update schedule, you’re going to be on the front page and in the top of the tags, and people will see your stuff and be more likely to read it. And attention is self-generating, because the more kudos and hits you have, the more people are going to check out your work just to see what the big deal is. So getting laid off and deeply depressed, then not updating at a time when the fandom was already beginning a pretty steady downward trajectory anyway . . . was not my best move in terms of relevance.
And engagement doesn’t necessarily have to mean updates, by the way! (Though you should update regularly if you want the attention.) Sharing headcanons, answering asks, starting fandom drama and ship wars . . . that’s all the kind of thing that establishes you as an authority; even if people think you’re wrong, they’ll think you’re someone whose opinion is worth disagreeing with, if they see you mouthing off in the tags enough. 
I’m not confident this is a good call, but Snowqueens Icedragon didn’t get massive fandom success by not starting flame wars, is all I’m saying. 
If you have the spoons to answer questions, people will want to ask them. No one wants to talk to someone who won’t reply to them. The most popular artists and authors are always going to be the ones who interact with the fandom the most. Higher output, more attention, more praise. I’m not saying it’s fair -- in fact, it very well might not be -- but that’s the nature of the beast.
Also, play to the fandom. Camp Camp fans want to see dadvid. They want to see dan/vid. They want to see Max-centric content, and they probably want it to be angsty. They want to see self-inserts dating David. If you can give them some of that stuff (none of which is inherently bad, to be clear, nor is it inherently good; it’s just what’s popular, and tbh if you can cram it all in one fic that’d be amazing), you have the benefit of giving people exactly what they want. 
To be clear, don’t write about things that don’t inspire you; aside from it being a soul-crushing endeavor, it’s noticeable when someone’s heart just isn’t in it, and it’s even harder to keep those regular updates. But if the things you’re passionate about happen to be the things the fandom really wants to see at the moment, then you’re much closer to riding the kudos train, my friendo.
But here’s the thing: even if you do everything right, you might still get screwed.
Some of this is just due to the fact that Camp Camp is always a dead fandom in the off-seasons, and we don’t know how long this current off-season is going to last. Hell, we don’t have to look at me for this:
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This is “How to Foster an Asshole” by emiartse. It’s one of the fandom’s most popular fics, with a whopping 962 kudos. Hot damn, look at that engagement. That’s a fucking fic right there!
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This is the sequel, which has 122 kudos. Nothing to sneeze at, to be sure -- I think we’d all be delighted to have 122 kudos -- but even the general tendency of sequels to have less attention than a series debut doesn’t entirely explain such a precipitous drop. And emiartse is doing everything right! This is dadvid! And momgwen! It’s just as well-written as the first; it’s not like we suddenly experience a decrease in quality or anything. It came right on the heels of the first one ending, and the updates have been more or less like clockwork, in keeping with the previous story.
So what changed?
Well, HTFAA was first published in 2019, right on the heels of Season 4′s finale and when fandom hype was pretty high. HTAAA was published in September 2020, during this whole “world pandemic and every political disaster all at once” thing that’s got us all fucked up -- and especially, during a period where we all knew Camp Camp wasn’t coming back for the year, and maybe not ever.
It’s . . . not a great time to be a writer for Camp Camp if your goal is popularity. I mean, it’s never a great time to be a writer if your goal is popularity -- consider the tragic difference in notes between ellohcee’s gorgeous art and their equally-excellent writing just for comparison -- but it’s especially tough now. If you really want to be a huge name in the fandom, my suggestion is to travel back in time to 2016 and establish yourself as the pioneer of something (seriously, it can be anything; there was basically nothing in the fandom at that time. Every idea was a new one). 
So . . . what do we do when we can’t be popular? Maybe you don’t want to chain yourself to a strict update schedule, or write the twelve-thousandth iteration of the most popular fandom tropes, or you exist in 2021 when everything is terrible and no one cares about a web cartoon series. What happens then?
4. Do it anyway.
I know, I know -- that sounds hella cheesy. “Write because you love it, not for attention” is one of those statements that everyone rolls their eyes at, because seriously? Please. What’s even the point of sharing something you write if no one reads it?
Well . . . because you made it. Because it’s something that wouldn’t exist without you, and because even though there are such a tiny number of readers in a very small, very dead fandom -- those people still exist. And seeing what you wrote will make them happy. And if they have the spoons, they’ll let you know that you made them happy, which will make you happy.
I haven’t updated my major fic in a year -- haven’t updated any writing in several months. But what keeps me going is the excitement that my ideas bring me, and the pride I feel in watching them come to life. It’s like giving a gift to someone; I get really nervous and giddy whenever I post a sentence.
And does it suck when it feels like your present goes unappreciated? Yeah. If you write the first chapter of your awesome long-form Gwenvid fic and it gets like 5 or 3 or even zero notes, that’s a huge bummer. That hurts a lot, and it can crush your self-esteem worse than even the most vicious hate. But your fic isn’t going to just be around for the few hours or days that you’re watching the engagement. It’s going to be there, growing as you update it or just sitting happily in its tags, and someone is going to find it.
Your story is going to be someone’s favorite fic. I promise. 
And hell, let’s make it my favorite fic! 
If you post something -- you know what, even if you post something in a trope or ship I hate, or a fandom I’m not in, doesn’t even have to just be Camp Camp; times are hard right now and we gotta support each other -- send me the link in a personal message. (Don’t tag me, I won’t see it. I never see anything on this terrible, terrible site.) I’ll like it; I’ll give it kudos. I’ll probably even share it*, because we’re going through the lean times in this fandom. And we’re writers, so the lean times are extra lean; it’s the bone-and-dust times. 
*Okay, but I reserve the right to not support someone’s work that makes me very uncomfortable. I’ll share things I don’t personally stan, but I’m not gonna platform your “why Hitler was good, actually” essay disguised as a fanfic or anything. My 6 followers deserve better.
Write something that excites you, and then tell me about it. If you need help brainstorming, tell me about that too. 
I might not have the spoons to keep this up for a prolonged period of time, but I’ll do what I can and you’ll do what you can and together we’ll . . . idk, do something. I’m losing the thread of my great inspirational speech here.
Uhhhh TL;DR let’s just do the dang thing. If we fail we all fail together. Yay team!
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libsterslobsters · 4 years ago
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Celebration Day
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Summary: Bucky and the Reader's long-awaited wedding day is just around the corner. The only trouble is, with Pepper Potts serving as wedding planner, it's a little more elaborate than either of them had imagined. Sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands and create your perfect out of what's around you.
Pairings: Bucky Barnes x fem!enhanced!Reader
(Reader sees bits and pieces of the future at random, understands all languages, and is also a super soldier)
Warnings: Fluff, angst, swearing
Author's note: As always, the reader's name is never mentioned so that this can be read as a self-insert, but when I write this character, I imagine her as a Violet. Also, the song at the end of the fic can be anything you like, but I wrote it with Unforgettable by Nat King Cole in mind.
*************************************************
“Whoa.” Bucky doesn’t say anything, but as he takes in the huge stone building that, according to Pepper, they’ll be getting married at in two weeks’ time, he’s almost certain his eyes have gone as big as his fiancee’s. What the actual fuck? They could fit a small army inside this place.
“Is this the right place?” He’s half-way hoping she’ll say no, it was a big joke, but with a grimace, she nods.
“That is, if she sent us the right address. If not, it’s pretty remote here….” She trails off, biting at her lip.
“Does Pepper know that between the two of us, we can count the number of people we call friends on our fingers-”
“And the ones we’d actually want around to watch us make a life-long commitment to each other is even smaller? Yeah, I mentioned it.”
That’s what he was afraid of. Despite having been through some of the most intense situations known to man (fighting Thanos, anyone?), as he pulls the door closed behind him, his palm starts to sweat. Logically, he knew giving Pepper the go ahead to plan as she saw fit without any input from either of them (she did insist on footing the bill after all, so being particular would be ungrateful) meant that things would get more elaborate than he’d feel comfortable with, but this is completely out of hand.
“I’m starting to think that waiting until two weeks before the day of to take a look at things may have been a mistake.”
He chooses not to add his two cents to that (a fucking huge one, on both their parts). It turns out to be the right decision because, a huge bouquet of… are those lilies… in her hands, Pepper emerges from a side door.
“Good, you both found the place.” Yeah, it was kinda hard to miss. It’s a literal castle! “Isn’t it just beautiful?” The high-powered executive is gushing in a way that’s usually reserved for the first time seeing a great work of nature, like the Grand Canyon or possibly Niagara Falls. Not… whatever the hell this is.
“It’s very eye-catching.” The grip on his hand increases to where it’s almost painful, and he glances over at her. “Right?” In other words, don’t just stand there. Say something.
“Yeah. It’s…” Huge. Kind of reminds him of a medieval palace that would have a secret torture chamber down bellow. Decadent, but not in the “This is really great chocolate cake” kind of way. “...really something.” If that look is anything to judge from, he’s definitely in the dog house tonight… which, oddly enough, means the dog will probably spend the night cuddled up to her on his side of the bed.
Fortunately, Pepper seems not to have noticed that he’s less than enthusiastic about her choice of venue (either that, or she’s assumed that ‘vaguely unsociable’ is just his natural state), because she beams at the woman on his arm.
“Of course, it’ll look much different the day of. There will be floral arrangements in every window and…” She goes on, but he’s stopped listening, too busy trying to calculate how many people can fit in this auditorium alone.
“Any questions?” Pepper peers between both of them. He should really read the room and say no thanks, it all sounds great, but he actually is wondering about something.
“Yeah, I have one. What’s the final tally on the guest list looking like?”
“We’re standing at around 500.” 500… does he even know that many people? Scratch that; between the two of them, do THEY know that many people?
“Wow.” He glances at the woman next to him. Yeah, that’s a fake smile if he’s ever seen one. “That’s quite a turn-out.”
Pepper says something else, but he doesn’t hear it past the buzzing in his ears. It’s only when he feels a tug on his hand that he realizes they’re supposed to follow Stark’s widow out of the room.
As soon as they’re out of earshot, she turns to him, wearing a worried frown. “You okay there, Buck?”
He nods. “Yeah, but is it too late to go with your idea? Just go to the courthouse and sign a paper?”
She sighs, a rueful smile on her face. “I think that ship has sailed. Sorry.”
“That’s okay.” She deserves the best, and if Pepper has anything to do with it, this wedding will be just that. He can deal with it. It’s just for a few hours, after all.
“Does this mean I get to pull out the ‘I told you so’?” It’s a joke, meant to lighten the mood. He knows this, so he takes the bait.
“Yeah, Doll. You get a free pass.”
___________________________________________________________________________________
“How’s it coming?” She’s honestly not sure how to answer Shuri’s question. In traditional “Say Yes To The Dress” fashion, her female friends are all gathered outside the dressing room doors waiting for her to step out in the gown Pepper had designed specifically for her. The only trouble is, she’s never felt more out-of-place in her life.
It’s a beautiful dress, highlighting every single positive aspect of her body. The shade of ivory works well with her skin tone, and the material is cool against her skin. She looks exactly like a picture from a bridal magazine with her hair still styled from a trial run of that and makeup earlier today. Perfect… but not like herself.
Shaking her head, she tells herself she’s just not used to looking so formal, and pushes open the door.
Wanda, Morgan, Nakia and Shuri make appropriate noises of approval as she steps into the room. Pepper is smiling, a hand pressed to her mouth and tears rolling down her face. Only Okoye looks less than pleased.
“You look so fierce.” Shuri informs her, rushing forward to adjust her train.
“A total knockout.” Nakia nods.
“You look like a doll!” She chuckles at the four-year-old’s exclamation. It’s very sweet, probably the best compliment she’s ever gotten. Plus, she’s starting to feel like a doll.
“Okoye?” The general eyes her up and down, expression unchanging.
“How are you planning to fight in that dress?”
Wanda and Pepper freeze, unsure of how to react, but Nakia laughs and Shuri rolls her eyes.
“It’s her wedding day, General. She isn’t fighting anyone.” Shuri exclaims between giggles.
“This is an American wedding. The most physical thing they do is dance.” Nakia adds.
“Until the wedding night, that is.” And now she’s trying not to snicker at the princess’s innuendo.
The rest of the appointment is a blur. A tailor checks and rechecks the measurements, pinning up whatever he deems too long or large, letting out anything too constricting. Girl talk ensues and the champagne flows. By the time they go their separate ways, each with a bridesmaid’s (or in Morgan’s case, flower girl) dress in their possession, she’s the only one who’s not at least slightly buzzed.
She should really head home. It’s late in the afternoon, and she’s still got papers to grade. However, she finds herself driving in the opposite direction of where she lives. After today, she needs some time to herself, away from anyone else and the possibility of unintentionally seeing their future.
At a red light, she stops and dictates a voice-to-text message, informing Barnes that, “It’s going to be a late one. Stopping by a few places on the way home. Let me know if you want me to pick up something.” The reply comes thirty seconds later. “Take your time. Text me when you’re on your way. Stay safe.” This wedding may not be exactly what she’d pick for herself, but the man she gets to spend the rest of her life alongside certainly is.
She drives aimlessly for a while, no destination in mind. Finally, she decides that while she’s out, she may as well kill two birds with one stone. Pepper mentioned that they’re still lacking the “something old” from ‘something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue’. She considered joking that the groom is over a century old so they’ve got that covered, but as an antique store appears on her right, she decides to go in and see if anything catches her eye.
A bell rings as soon as she steps inside, and although she can’t see anyone, a voice calls out from the center of the store to, “Shout if you need anything.” It’s a hodgepodge of various items, most in disrepair, all covered in a blanket of dust. She comes across a coin in the display counter minted in 1917 and is about to ask if she can get a closer look at it (there’s something about a sixpence in a shoe if she’s remembering correctly), but that’s when she sees it.
The wedding dress is clearly vintage, more than likely an original. As she takes a closer look at the tag, she sees that it reads “hand sewn, 1942”. The price is marked $25 dollars, a good deal even if it were in disrepair. Instead, she can’t find a thing wrong with it. It’s almost as if someone unearthed this in the back of a closet, perfectly preserved, and thought, “Here’s a way to make a quick buck.” For a moment, she allows herself to dream of how she’d look in it, but as the salesperson appears, she pushes that daydream to the side.
“May I see the nickel from 1917, please?”
With one last longing look at the dress, she pays for her purchase, and leaves the store behind.
___________________________________________________________________________________
It’s not unusual for him to have nightmares. Most times, he can tell that what’s going on around him is a dream, not real life, and wake himself up. Not tonight, however. It all feels too real, not one of his usual dreamscapes, so that he’s stuck reliving a scene from earlier in the day.
It really wasn’t that big of a deal. Coming out of the pet store on his way home with a few bags of dog food (not to mention more toys than the mutt really needs because, despite himself, he’s a sucker for their tripod of a dog), he got recognized. There was the flash of a picture being taken to his right, and when he turned, a man holding a smartphone asked, “Hey, you’re that Winter Solder guy, aren’t you?” In reality, he pretended not to have heard and kept walking, and that was the end of it. In his dream, he’s driven all the way home, only to be cornered as he’s stepping out of his car and activated by HYDRA.
“Longing-”
“Stop.”
“-rusted. Seventeen. Daybreak-”
“Not again. Please.”
“-furnace. Nine. Benign-” As the HYDRA agent speaks, he realizes that she’s in the room with him. Oh no.
“Get out of here! Run!” He tries to warn her, but she just smiles at him, and although he can’t hear what she’s saying, he can see her lips forming the words, “I love you.”
“-One. Freight Car.”
“No!” He bolts upright in bed, drenched in a cold sweat. It’s only when the chill of the night air makes him shiver that he realizes it was just a dream.
“Whoa.” He’s still trying to catch his breath when he feels her hand on his shoulder. “You’re okay, Bucky. Take some deep breaths. That’s it.” He used to be embarrassed whenever this would happen, especially if he managed to wake her up in the process. But since Thanos, all of that has gone by the wayside, and it’s a common occurrence for her to wake up screaming and flailing also.
Practice makes perfect, so it’s only a few moments before his breathing returns to normal and he feels his heart regain it’s rhythm. He turns to her to apologize, but stops short.
“You were already awake.” She nods.
“Yeah. Couldn’t sleep. My mind’s too busy.”
“Busy with what?” As he asks it, he settled back into bed, turning on his side to face her.
“Are we just gonna ignore that you had a nightmare?” He nods
“For now, yeah. It’s still too fresh.” A look of understanding settles on her face. He’s eternally grateful that she’s not one to push him into talking before he’s ready.
“I can’t stop thinking about the fucking wedding.” He snickers at her profanity. “Five hundred people, Buck. Five hundred! I don’t even know that many people, much less like them.” It’s like she’s read his mind.
“All of them staring at us…” She shudders. “It’s silly, but what if I have a vision and instead of saying “I Do” I say, ‘Watch your head!’ or something else just as stupid?”
“Then you’ll be doing better than me.” Her brow furrows in confusion. “I keep having this recurring dream that we get around to the vows and I forget how to talk. Then I look down and realize I’m not wearing pants.” That reminds him… “You still haven’t told me how trying on the dress went.”
She sighs.
“It was an experience.” That can’t be good.
“Didn’t it fit?”
“Oh, it fit.” She nods. “Like a glove.” Then what’s the problem? “It’s a beautiful dress, and I really appreciate all the effort Pepper put into it, but…” Oh. Now he thinks he understands.
“It’s not quite what you imagined.” It’s not a question, but she nods.
“No, but then again, I never imagined my wedding dress because I never imagined getting married.”
“But you still want to, right?” He shouldn’t ask that, but there’s a niggling fear at the back of his mind that she’s realized she doesn’t want to be stuck with him for the rest of their lives.
“Of course I do.” They’re facing each other, crumpled sheets between then, and she reaches out to caress his cheek. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily, Barnes, nightmare wedding or not.”
They’re quiet for a few minutes, the only sound the air vents circulating a cool breeze through the bedroom. Then she asks,
“Did you ever imagine it? A wedding or getting married?” It’s not something he’d easily admit to most people, but he nods.
“Yeah, I did. Back before the war.”
“Tell me about it.” She closes her eyes, and he can’t help but feel a slight wave of excitement that he gets to see her like this forever.
“It wasn’t like I spent a lot of time daydreaming about it, but…” It was just one of those natural things, a given in life; you get a job, find a girl, get married, and settle down to have a houseful of kids. When the war started, he saw so many of his friends go ahead and tie the knot with their girls before they shipped out, and he took it for granted that one day, he’d do the same thing.
“I guess I figured on having Steve there, standing up with me.” Of course, now Steve is an old man, physically as well as chronologically. He’ll be there of course. Even serve as the best man. However, it looks a little different than he imagined. “It’d probably be small, because we weren’t dirt poor, but we weren’t exactly rich either. Friends and family.” She nods, eyelids still lowered. “Didn’t put much thought into decorations or clothes, but I imagined walking out with her on my arm, whoever the girl ended up being-” Even in his wildest dreams, he couldn’t have imagined a woman as incredible as this. “-and dancing together after it, then heading back to our house, just the two of us.”
“It sounds-” She yawns, and he knows she’s nearly asleep. “-perfect.”
It does to him too, but over time, things change. Even if it sounds nice, a 1940’s shindig probably wouldn’t cut it in today’s busy world with it’s easy access to perfection. Still, a huge chunk of him wishes he could just steal her away and make their promises to each other in private. That makes him wonder: what did it look like when Steve and Peggy got hitched? He supposes he can ask soon enough. Steve’s arriving tomorrow after all.
___________________________________________________________________________________
“You need any help in there?” Steve thinks about shooting back that he may be old (well, ancient is probably more accurate at this stage) but he can still manage to put on his pants without help, thanks. Instead he just answers,
“Nope. Just giving you a few extra minutes to primp before I come out and embarrass you by pulling off this suit better than you do.” As he pulls on his jacket, he hears Bucky laugh.
“Whatever you say, punk.”
He’s lived a full life, made plenty of other friends. However, he still hasn’t clicked the same way he does with the jerk from Brooklyn, even if said jerk is now seventy years younger than him.
“Alright, I’m done making myself pretty. Get out here, old man.” Chuckling, he pushes open the changing room door and joins Sam and Bucky.
“I don’t know what you two are bragging about.” Sam grins and straightens his tie. “Clearly I’m the best looking person here even without being hopped up on super soldier mojo.”
Bucky fakes a frown and elbows Sam.
“Remind me again why you’re invited to my wedding?”
“Because the bride likes me.”
“No accounting for taste.”
“Clearly, since she’s marrying you.”
Even though it’s obviously a joke, Steve internally winces. He’s already half-way expecting to talk Bucky down off the ledge at least three times in the next two days, convince him that yes you you are good enough for this girl, no I don’t think she’s making a mistake entrusting her future to you. Back in the day, he was the shy one with a lack of self-confidence. After everything HYDRA did, it’s his best friend who believes he’s unworthy of a second chance at life.
However, throughout most of the morning, there’s absolutely no sign of the impending breakdown. Steve’s nearly convinced that he’s guessed wrong, that there won’t be any fires to put out when, on the drive back to his hotel room, it happens.
“Can I ask you something?” He can’t really read his best friend’s facial expression since the other man is driving, facing straight ahead, but if the tension in body language is anything to judge from, this isn’t going to be a casual conversation.
“Sure.”
“Were you nervous before you and Peggy tied the knot?”
He nods.
“More like scared shitless.” It wasn’t the fact that, for the rest of their lives, they would be tied together, not just emotionally but legally as well. If anything, he was nearly giddy with excitement over that part. “All those people with their eyes on you and your dearly beloved? Don’t tell anyone, but five minutes before I had to be in place, I was in the bathroom losing my lunch.” Bucky snickers, and even he chuckles at the memory. “But I got through it because it was her. She was what I wanted at the end of the day. I would’ve gone through with it in front of a million people or in a broom closet. It didn’t matter. Everything except Peg was just trappings.”
Neither of them say anything else for the rest of the trip. On Steve’s part, he’s mentally reliving the day he married Peggy Carter through his memories. In fact, he’s so busy reminiscing that he doesn’t realize the car has stopped moving and they’re parked outside the hotel until his name is called for what must be at least the third time.
“Sorry.” He smiles apologetically. “It’s just a side affect of getting old: you spend a lot of time stuck in the past and forget about the present.”
“It’s okay.”
He reaches to open his door, but before he can-
“Do you have anything going this afternoon? Maybe need to take a nap or something?” This time, he doesn’t swallow down the sarcastic comment that springs to mind.
“Yeah, right after I finish rubbing liniment on my joints, I’m gonna go down to the old folks’ home and play bingo, maybe yell at some kids to get off my lawn. That is, unless you have something else in mind.”
“Well, I was gonna go interrupt my girl’s day and ask her if she’d go down to the courthouse and elope with me since we’re both dreading the trappings, but it sounds like you’re busy, so…”
It’ll smart later, but he tags the back of his best friend’s head.
“Go get your girl, jerk. Just tell me when and where to meet you.”
“Are you sure you don’t need a nap?”
“Respect your elders!”
___________________________________________________________________________________
She’s elbow deep in clothing (when the hell did they acquire that many tshirts between them), attempting to make a dent in the number of things they still have to pack before next week’s move-in date, when she hears the apartment door open. That’s weird. He’s not supposed to be home until later in the day. It’s unnecessary, a reflex at this point, but she feels for the hidden knife she still keeps on her at nearly all times. It’s most likely not an intruder, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.
The funny thing about living with someone is that the little things about them, details you never forced yourself to pay attention to, become ingrained in your memory without you realizing it. In this case, she recognizes the speed and heaviness of the footfalls, and that’s what makes her lower her guard.
“In the bedroom.” He hasn’t asked, but it’ll save him from looking through each room that comes before this one. And, if he’s home this early, they’ll probably have something to discuss.
“Hey.”
As she repeats the greeting back to him, she studies his expression. A smile, small but genuine. Also… nervous? That’s strange. She’s gotten good at reading the tiny tells that are still there behind the perfect, unflappable mask, but usually it takes her a lot longer to crack the code. Something major is going on.
“How’s the packing coming?” As he asks, he picks up a shirt (one of his, although it’s not folded) and tosses it into a box.
“It’s coming along fine. Do you want to talk about it some more or dive into why you’re home so early?”
“That depends. Do you already know what I’m gonna say?”
She shakes her head. No visions so far, at least not about this.
“Then I guess I’d better quit stalling.” That doesn’t sound good. “So, about the wedding.” For a moment, she’s worried he’s calling it off, that he’s decided he’d rather not spend the rest of his life with her. But if that were the case, wouldn’t he have mentioned it last night when they were both lying there unable to sleep, discussing things? “Is it safe to say we’re both dreading it? Not what comes after, but the part where five hundred of our closest friends stare at us?”
Her lips curl into a smirk.
“You could say that.”
“Well, I was thinking that maybe there’s a way to avoid it and still get the job done. Something more like what we talked about last night. You were awake for that part, right?”
Barely. In fact, she remembers her final thought before drifting off being, “I wish we could do things that way.” Still…
“Pepper’s put so much effort in. People are traveling, have already made arrangements-”
“So we still show up on Saturday, but behind the scenes, we would’ve already made things official. Maybe gone to the courthouse like you wanted to, just us and Steve? One other person if you had anyone in mind, since there need to be two witnesses?” It’s an appealing idea. The marriage license is still sitting on the kitchen table, waiting for them to sign on the day of. In theory, all they need to do is make an appointment and show up with their two witnesses. In practice…
“Hypothetically speaking, when would we be doing this?” Immediately, the small sign of nervousness melts from his face.
“This afternoon at four thirty, since that’s the only time before Saturday they had available. Hypothetically.”
She pretends to think about it, but can’t hide the smile that sneaks across her face.
“Then it’s a yes.” Now they’re both smiling like idiots. Taking his offered hand, she rights herself and circles her arms around his neck.
“So we’re really doing this, huh?” His arms wrap around her, and now they’re so close, she can feel his heart beating.
“Looks that way.” She leans up, closing the gap between them and presses her lips against his.
It’s tempting to just stand there, making out like teenagers, but eventually, she has to back away. It’s comical how startled he looks (that and slightly flustered).
“I’ve gotta get out of here.”
“What?”
She snickers. “I don’t know much about weddings, but I’m fairly certain you’re not supposed to see me ahead of time. Bad luck and all.”
“Wouldn’t want to risk that.” With one last peck, he lets her go. “Do you want me to head out and give you the apartment, or-”
“No, you stay. I actually have some errands to run.” Not saying another word (otherwise, she’ll end up gushing about how she can’t to start their life together), she grabs her keys from the nightstand and heads towards the door.
Once she’s in the car, a memory from the other day of that 1940s wedding dress sitting in an antique store comes back to her. There wasn’t a size on the label, and the material might be too fragile for her to even get it on her body. But it was so… perfect. It’s decided: she’s going in search of it. If it fits her, yay! If it doesn’t work out, she’s still got enough time to stop in at a department store and purchase something else.
The whole thing is slightly absurd. She peals into the antique store and, after eyeballing the dress, purchases it without so much as trying it on. Then, stopping at a fast food place, she undresses in a bathroom stall and pulls on the dress. The material is slightly musty from all the years of disuse, but it goes on easily. As she peers at herself in the bathroom mirror, a giggle rises from deep inside her. For the first time in this whole process, she feels like a bride.
She’s still dressed in the vintage white gown when she steps inside the first florist’s shop she comes across The woman behind the counter gives her a strange look, but doesn’t ask any questions as she sells her the simple bouquet of violets with a few pieces of greenery. She knows she must look odd, but she can’t bring herself to care. She’s flying too high. Maybe that’s the reason why, as she puts the finishing touches on her makeup, still in her car, she tucks a few of the flowers into her hair. There. That’s better.
She spots his car in the parking lot, so she knows he’s already there. That’s when the nerves hit her. This is it. They’re actually doing this. After today they won’t just be to people sharing an apartment (among other things); they’ll be husband and wife. She’s ready. God, is she ready. But the enormity of it is intimidating. What if she’s not a good wife? What if he’s expecting her to be the perfect domestic goddess (that’s absurd, she knows, but rationality just flew out the window)? Or on a more practical level, what if he doesn’t like how she looks? There’s only one way to find out. Slowly, hands shaking, she pulls open the courthouse door.
Steve’s waiting for her just inside the building. Apparently, he takes traditions very seriously, because when she asks where Bucky is, he just shakes his head. “He’s here, but you’re not gonna see him until you’re in the room, about to sign the paperwork.” She’s not going to fight it (after all, she’s the one who brought up separating in the first place), but she does still have a question.
“Steve, can I ask you for a massive favor?”
“Sure.” Here it goes.
“I know there’s not a real aisle, but would you walk me inside?” He may be seventy years older than he was when she met him, but the smile is still the same.
“Yeah. I’d be honored to do it.”
___________________________________________________________________________________
Bucky’s not sure what the connection is between being so nervous you’re ready to climb the walls and the urge to pace, but regardless, that’s what he’s doing. The clock in the office where he’ll be exchanging vows with the woman he loves more than he ever thought was possible reads four twenty-nine. One minute left, give or take. One minute, and then the rest of his life begins.
The seconds hand seems to move incredibly slowly, but finally, it reaches it’s destination. On cue, the door opens, and all the breath leaves his lungs. Here she is.
It’s not the way he’d imagined it as a kid. Steve’s not at his side. He’s considerably older, rougher around the edges. They’re in a courthouse instead of a church. But as a kid, he also didn’t imagine anything that can compare to her.
It goes without saying that she’s beautiful; that’s always the case. But all the old stories are true: there’s something about seeing her in a white dress walking towards him just before they promise to love, honor, and cherish each other for the rest of their lives that makes her shine like never before. She’s not just beautiful. She’s brilliant.
“Hey.” Right. He need to say something.
“Hey. You made it.”
She chuckles and pushes back a stray tendril.
“Yeah, well I had a date I was really excited for, so I rearranged my schedule.”
Before he can say anything else (he’s not sure what, because frankly, all thoughts except “I love you” have disappeared), the door opens and a man in a business suit sticks his head out.
“Is everyone here?”
He looks at her for confirmation.
“Everyone that needs to be.”
“Then right this way.”
He’s not aware of much that is said during the ceremony after they join hands, too busy memorizing what she looks like so he’ll never forget. This is definitely one of those moments you want to carry with you the rest of your life.
They stick to the standard vows. He takes her to be his lawfully wedded wife to have and hold from this day forward, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish ‘til death do them part, and vise versa. As he slips the ring on her finger, he catches her eye and mouths a silent, “I love you.”, which she repeats back as she slides on his wedding band.
“By the power vested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife.” That’s it. This is real. They’re married. “You may kiss the bride.” He doesn’t have to be told twice.
After the paperwork is signed, they agree to go and have dinner. Steve’s come all this way, and something seems right about celebrating with his oldest friend. He hadn’t thought far enough ahead to make a reservation so, still dressed in their formal clothes, they slide into a corner booth at a local diner. Nothing important is said; it’s mostly laughter and inside jokes between a group of friends. By seven o’clock, he’s dropped Steve off at his hotel and is on his way back home.
The apartment is mostly packed up at this point. The only things left are their clothes, a few kitchen and bathroom essentials, and their bed. Even the record player she gave him as a birthday gift has been shipped off to the townhouse they’ll officially move into sometime next week. But, he thinks to himself as he lets himself in, the great thing about going to sleep in 1945 and waking up in the 2000s is that while his taste in music may not have evolved by much, technology has. Which means-
“Hey, stranger.” She’s still wearing the dress, their dog sitting next to her on the bed with his head in her lap. It would be a crime to let that go to waste.
“Come here.” He motions for her to join him, and as soon as she stands, starts scrolling through is phone.
“What are you doing?” The confusion melts from her face as the first few notes of the song fill the room.
Holding out his hand, he asks, “May I have this dance?”
A soft smile crosses her face as, nodding, she folds herself into his arms.
“You can have every dance.”
Two days from now, they’ll stand in front of five hundred people, most of whom they've never met before, and make their vows once again. It'll be uncomfortable and even a little jarring, but it won’t matter. Steve's right: it’s all trappings. What’s real is now; the beautiful woman in his arms, his wife, and the life they’ll build together. It’s not what Bucky imagined all those years ago as a naïve kid in Brooklyn. This is far better.
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komoryriku · 4 years ago
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Queering KH: Part 2
How to Queer this Anime Game? By me, an American nerd lol
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Pictured: Dream. Drop. Distance. Sequel. 8)))
What is Queering 
I’m so excited to talk about this okay this is literally the only fun thing I get to do as an English major anymore lmao.
“Queering a text” is the academic term for taking a given text and extracting the queer subtext of it, or applying a queer reading to it. It is taking a piece of literature, film, or art and reading into it for the gay coding. It is an especially important tool for reading old literature written during periods of extreme homosexual oppression, wherein the author would be forced to hide hints of homosexuality under layers and layers of superficial text.
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Pictured: Sora and Riku battling Ursula as she means to wreck their ship, mirroring the disaster that Sora’s friends Eric and Ariel (lovers) faced at sea.
As a post-structuralist, I am also here to inform you that every text is made up of intertextual influence. This means whether the JK Rowlings of the world intended it or not, their characters may well be queer coded because of the unconscious influence of homoerotic customs in our culture that have permeated the text. It’s why people speculated that Newt Scamander was gay, because he showed little interest in Tina and preferred to focus on his beasts, which is not normative for a male protagonist in straight media. People likewise considered that Merida from Pixar’s Brave might be gay, because she had no interest in dating men and wanted to live a wild lifestyle traditionally associated with masuculinity, things that are pretty in line with lesbian coding. And let me tell you, lgbt claimed Queen Elsa IMMEDIATELY for very good reason. Pretty much everything about her journey, purposefully or not, makes for an strikingly overt gay metaphor. Let it Go is a coming out song for a woman suffocating under normativity all her life, deal with it.
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Same, Elsa.
Oh whoops I accidentally pasted this picture of Riku here.
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Keep Cultural Distinctions in Mind
Something else important I want to point out is that different cultures are- different lol. They are going to vary. What is queer coding here is not necessarily queer coding in Japan. A man presenting femininely in American media would certainly get him coded as gay. A bishonen in an anime though? Not so much. Men bathing together in Japan is common practice so that would mean nothing gay over there. In America however, you have things like this vine. 
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In which 2 dudes are chilling as far away as possible from each other in a hot tub to prove they are not gay lol.
So when I say the male members of Organization XIII bathe together, it means literally nothing in a Japanese context.  
But let me tell you this: homosexual mlm tend to enjoy bathing with other dudes. Sexual attraction is sexual attraction no matter where you go. So how would you queer code a Japanese character as gay in a hot tub context? 
By American logic, if the straight thing to do is sit 5 feet apart in a hot tub, then the inverse, the gay thing to do, would be 2 men sitting very close together in a hot tub. So if I were to code 2 American male characters as gay in a hot tub context, that is what I would do. But if I really wanted to hammer it home, I would ALSO have them blushing so there is no straight explanation for their closeness. 
And for a Japanese character, for whom bathing with men might well mean nothing, I’d definitely have them physically blush, so that you know it does NOT just “mean nothing” to him...
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Oh look at that. Amano went out of her way to draw Roxas blushing at the concept of bathing with men. So when I say “the members of Orginization XIII bathe together”, you know that means something to Roxas, cuz the coding tells us so. There are indeed certain ways you can depict a shonen being either interested in or at least affected by that idea. You just have to mind those codes telling you what the character really feels, especially when they can’t really say it.
Speaking of blushes, Amano uses them a lot. 
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They’re a pretty effective tool for hiding gay coding into your characters cuz an anime character might blush for any number of reasons, from being flustered by their crush, 
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to being flustered because they don’t have a crush.
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If you’ve ever translated Japanese media, (I haven’t, but I have friends who do), you know that Japanese is very vague which means you need the whole context to properly understand a scene. It’s a similar situation with queer coding. Consider this scene of Roxas blushing. 
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If Roxas felt positively about the insinuation that he and Xion are holding hands, how might one code this? Well, if he’s feeling really excited about it in a positive way, you might draw him smiling or expressing flattery on his blushing face. However, Roxas reacts negatively, with a frown on his blushing face. This insinuates he does not like this idea at all, especially since he also shuts it down right away in his dialogue.
But you might say “Well how do we know he isn’t just shy?” to which I say- well we can’t know. That’s the whole point of queer coding in literature. It is to say a character is queer but without actually saying it, to give plausible deniability for safety. It is to suggest a character is queer but without any confirmation. It does not mean that the character isn’t queer, however. It just means it cannot be confirmed by the text alone. However, a bold text that is very determined to have hidden queer characters without any straight explanations, will provide coding that has very little or no straight explanation. 
Back to the Roxas and Xion dialogue^. This scene alone cannot confirm or deny anything. As I explained however, the suggestion that Roxas is not straight IS there. Considering the whole context, also, this scene is another piece of “evidence” to add to the pile of suggestions that Roxas isn’t straight. This coupled with the bathing panel, and this panel of him admiring Axel, his male mentor, with deep flattery during his first day of adventuring, all exist.
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Roxas does not express negative sentiments in his blushing at men, nor does he say anything dismissive to them. When he blushes at Xion’s comment, however, it is with a negative reaction. Consider also that if the author wanted Roxas to appear straight, she would present them in ways that allude to straightness and NOT in ways that allude to queerness. Roxas would not do suggestively queer things like blush in flattery at Axel calling him special and then dismiss Xion’s suggestion that they are holding hands if he were simply coded as straight. Queering a text sometimes requires a lot of critical thought like this. This is because again, these things are hidden, and sometimes hidden really well so that unsuspecting straight people will not even consider the queer suggestions. This is one of the advantages Nomura has in his favor with Kingdom Hearts: by making it so convoluted, the gay text can be forward, strong, and blatant but remain undetected by straight powers. This keeps the series safe from oppressive scrutiny. Characters like Namine and Xion can exist as literal illustrations of compulsory-heterosexuality. And people will still think Sora and Riku are straight. 
Even if I don’t know all the queer codes Japanese culture might specifically have, (and I do not, I do not live in Japan nor have any semblance of what that is like beyond what my friends who have lived there can tell me, and what I can research while sitting in my pajamas in Kentucky lol), there are certain things that are rather universal. Blushing, physical contact, lingering gazes, etc etc. Attraction is attraction and certain body language and other physical symbols will translate and will travel. So that’s the majority of what I will have to focus on. 
But I do want you to know that rainbows are still gay in Japan. 
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Finally I also want to express that cultural intermingling is a thing. We do not live in bubbles, especially with the internet. Our cultures affect each other ALL the time. Although Kingdom Hearts is primarily a Japanese series, it is consciously tailored to appeal to both America and Japan. This is by design given the idea was to marry a Japanese hit like Final Fantasy with an American phenomenon like Disney’s media. This is why they take special care in minding the English translations and dubbing of the KH games (when they are able to do so, mistakes are still very often made and i hate it cuz they’re usually heterosexual-agenda-pushing “mistakes” =~=). The games are so intimately tied to both the Japanese and American cultures they are derived from which is part of why accurate translations are so important. And given what they would mean for queer audiences, what they represent for queer people makes accurate translations even MORE important. Some things get quite lost in translation, and some things are grossly added in translation. We will discuss that down the line...   
A brief aside that I implore you to ignore:
On the subject of Roxas not being straight, I have heard of one really fun queer motif in Japanese media which is ”ryoutoutsukai (両刀使い)”, “the two sword fencer”: the dual wielding bisexual. Now- I do not necessarily think this is a means of coding Roxas as bisexual, and beyond that, from what I’ve heard in my research on bisexuality in Japan, certain age groups don’t even believe in bisexuality there. However, a love of more than one gender exists no matter who is willing to acknowledge it or not, and this motif is there. And Promisekeeper and Oblivion do rather fit the bill of representing homosexuality (Oblivion/Soriku) and heteronormativity (Promisekeeper/Sora and his childhood friend Kairi). So- while i don’t think it means anything, this fun idea is there~  I will say, however, that as far as I can tell, Nomura and his staff know exactly what they’re doing with their queer coding and are well connected to it in both cultures. So I mean- if any anime team would know bisexuality exists and how to code it, I firmly believe the KH team would, so. There is some food for thought for you~
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Get ready for part 3, I hope you like TWEWY~ B)
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freezinginacozyfoxhole · 5 years ago
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Multifaceted
Female!Sniper reader X Bill ‘Hoosier’ Smith
Synopsis: First time drinking can have serious consequences. You experience it on your skin when Hoosier has to put up with your shift of attitude.
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Disclaimers: This story is based strictly on the actor portrayals of the characters. I respect the real people and their heroic deeds. Also, English is not my native language and my English level is somewhere around B2 so I’m sorry in advance for my poor language choice. Enjoy!
 Melbourne during wartime was lovely, you thought as you downed another drink in the wild hollers of the boys. In fact, it was even better than home. You could have a proper hot bath in the house of a stranger who then pampered you like their own child. You could enter a shop and be assaulted with questions from young boys and discrete glances from their mothers. You could talk to your father after two months and found out that Lew's sister was having a baby boy and that she would have hoped to have you by her side at the christening. The number of things that were happening around you and to you was overwhelming.
You were living the time of your life; you told yourself, a broad smile spreading across your face. You had a bed with a proper mattress, the opportunity to eat out every evening, and to jog around the parks in the morning. It was not even at home that you felt so peaceful, so self-accomplished.
Although, there was still a war raging on and the fact that you were to be deployed back in the Pacific in two days was no sweet reminder. A bitter thought. But as you were waiting for a refill, you let your eyes wander around the crowded bar. Barely wincing at the heavy cigarette smoke which you've eventually grown accustomed to, you briefly saw Chuckler making out with some Australian girl, Runner trying to hit on one and then Sidney, sweet and reserved Sidney, in deep conversation with his Australian companion you knew as Gwen. She was exquisite, you stared at her, without realizing that you, in fact, were comparing yourself to her. A perfect little doll face with an elegant posture and a shiny blonde hair with curls that embraced her flower-patterned dress. Glancing down at your army-issued trousers, you couldn't help but shrug and remember how a dress used to feel from the time you used to wear them back home. As another pint of beer was passed by the barman, he flashed a smile at you and leaned closer:
'Ain't enjoying the night out, miss?'
You gave him a reluctant look, knowing that he was hitting on you. Everyone loved the uniform.
'I'm fine, thank you,' you smiled politely at him, declining the drink. 'Although some bourbon would be nice -do you happen to have some?'
He leaned even closer so that there were only a few inches between your face and his. Winking at you, he let out a low whistle:
'Missin' the American flavor, missie? 'Cause, you know, the Australian taste is also unforgettable -if you know what I mean!'
  Feeling a warm blush creeping in your cheeks, you stood up and did what seemed perfectly rational at that moment: you slapped him right across his freshly shaven cheek. With a shocked but amused expression, he looked up at you with a mischievous sneer that scared you a little. No one but the two of you seemed to notice the sudden interaction, which made you aware of how drunk everyone in the room was. Including yourself.
'Guess the missie likes it the hard way!' he kept on with his shit-eating grin as he began to seize you with a hungry glance that made you feel literally naked. 'How about I show you my-'
 With your breath fastening at each of his words, you got up on your legs and hurtled out of the room. Your father may have tried to prepare you for this kind of uncomfortable situations. Still, he failed to mention the cockiness or the sheer lust etched across their face -or your drunk mind was unable to remember everything with accuracy.
 You stumbled to the door, tears forming in the corner of your eyes. That's how always things went -everything was great for a while, something unexpected happened, and everything fell apart. And you were right in the middle of it, a fool and innocent girl in a world of men. You fought to be a part of it, had to prove yourself to remain in it, and now all you wanted was to get the heck out of everything and cuddle with your blanket in your bed.
'Hey, Y/N! Was actually looking for ya!'
 A joyous shout came from the other side of the street and you hastily turned your head in the sound's direction, trying to wipe the anxiety off your face. Hoosier stopped in his traces to wave at you, and you tried to wave back, but you unceremoniously broke down in tears. A rush of relief surged through your veins, and the next thing you knew was that you were clinging to Bill's body for dear life, with tears streaming down across your face.
'Slow down, slow down. What happened?' he asked with a worried voice, his hands slowly brushing the hair out of your face. 'Did someone do something to you?' his tone suddenly raised as you looked up to him.
'I want to get out of here' you blurted the words out, unaware of how drunk you were until you tried to take another step and ended up in Bill's arms. 'Some guy tried hitting on me, I asked him for some bourbon, and then he began saying something about the Australian flavor and -OH MY GOD, just get me out of here, please!' you pleaded as the words just kept coming out of your mouth.
'And just how much did you drink before asking for the bourbon?' he felt compelled to ask as he had also drunk a few shots beforehand.
'Just enough to end up like this,' you smiled bitterly contemplating your state. 'I'm miserable, Bill, that's what I am. And you know what?' you asked him as you felt a sudden pang of hope. 'I'm so miserable that I am going to embark on the ship right now and sleep until they force me to land on another God-forgotten island! Yes, that's it, no one is going to stop me from-'
'Yes, you drank enough.' he stated for himself as he was looking at you blabbering and making plans with that drunk determination on your face. 'Wait, is this your first time getting drunk?' he asked you on a slightly high-pitched tone that betrayed his sloppiness. 'You look rather cute, actually...'
'You think so?' You suddenly asked with a small smile on your face. 'You know Sid's girl, Gwen? I think she's gorgeous with her gleaming long hair and her flawless silhouette. You should go and find your Gwen too, Hoos!' you suddenly exclaimed, giving him a serious pat on the shoulder.
A corner of his mouth lifted while watching your forehead creasing from all the connections you wanted to make with your drunk mind. You were so innocent and unaware of the fact that he'd been looking for you so he could confess his feelings before being deployed once again. But considering the pretty shaken up state he'd found you into, he couldn't make any move on you -he cared too much for you to see you being overwhelmed by too many feelings.
'Go ahead, lover boy! I'll be waiting for you right here!' you promptly stated as you sat down on the ledge of the alley.
    You looked at him with your tired and naïve eyes, your reserved smile revealing your actual condition: a first-time drunk girl who was just sick of being among strangers and wanted to go home. But for the fact that home was an ocean away. His brows furrowed at the distressing sight, and he lowered down on his knees, bringing his face closer to yours.
'How about I take you somewhere quiet and cozy?' he asked you gently, taking your cold hands in this. 'I think I know just the place.'
Blinking slightly confused at his way too gentle attitude, you shot him a suspicious look. Ever since you came here, he either spent his time sleeping or hanging around with you- you got closer during Guadalcanal, but you'd expected him to act like all the other guys did and find himself a nice Australian gal to waste his time with. Yet there he was, enduring your drunk self who kept saying things that made no sense in your head -what was holding him back?
'Come on. Up on your feet!' He slid a hand around your waist, trying to get you back up despite your quiet protests.
Eventually, you stood up and tried again to take a few steps by yourself until it proved a little too difficult, and you crashed ungraciously against a wall and let out a muffled pain sound as Bill hurried to catch you.
'Well, fuck.' You plainly stated, unaware that you just said a terrible word. 'I'm giving up!' You eventually shouted as you rested your head against Bill's body.
   He had wrongly assessed your state until that point. Even then he did not understand what kind of drunk you were -because your actions seemed to be a mix-up between the sad drunk and the sleepy drunk, but then again you had moments when you were highly realistic-
 A faint snore interrupted his train of thoughts, and he glanced down to realize that you had fallen asleep, clinging on to his shirt. He laughed to himself as he gently stroked your ponytail, enthralled by the vague smell of roses that it still bore.
 The sudden sound of shattered glass came from across the street and made him rise his glance in that direction, deciding that it's time he took you to a quieter place. Moving as silent as he could, he managed to place you on his back so that your hands we're barely brushing his chest as your regular breath tickled his left cheek.
As the night moved around you two, he slowly carried you through the quiet streets of the Australian city, the stars and the moon quietly watching over you both.
 He may not have been able to tell you what he was feeling like, but as you lazily wrapped your arms around his chest, leaving out a content moan, he couldn't imagine a better way to spend his last evening in Melbourne.
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keepyourpantsongohan · 4 years ago
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Ayesha Liveblogs Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card S1
Not to be someone born in the 90s but wow this is a change from the more simple animation style new anime truly likes things shiny, intensely bright and round lmao
Ah I guess the prologue is just a reanimation of the original anime finale? That’s fair it helps you reintegrate if it had been nineteen years for you
“That way, you’ll realize who you consider to be your Number One” Eriol’s advice has gotten less cryptic since he stopped lying
“The person I love the most... is you” Lmao didn’t Syaoran ALREADY do this confession in the final battle this is like in Naruto the Last where Naruto just forgot that Hinata had already said she loved him
Fdshkfjhkjdfhksjhfkjh wow Yukito appearing with a flower background and shine effect and softened face is this a style choice or is this just Toya Vision™
I think Toya’s voice IS different rest in pieces I still respect u bro 
“How do I feel about Syaoran” [Pan across Syaoran in floral background] It is a style choice how very shojo manga of you
I’m really very confused by the references to Tokyo Tower bc I’m pretty sure they were battling at Tsukimine Shrine did I miss something??
No I just checked it was definitely at the shrine in the anime did THEY not check or were they like ‘hmmm not enough drama only Tokyo Tower for our battle backdrops pls’
This is the third or fourth flower backdrop in the first ten minutes jkhkdjhg the floral effect artists said ‘I WILL BE SILENT NO LONGER’:
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I DO NOT understand the chronology of this the bear exchange was the last scene in the anime is this before or after the finale???? If it’s after then why is Syaoran still in town
Rjhkjhgkj is the entire point of redoing this episode so Sakura could also give Syaoran a bear
“Toya was too embarrassed, so he had me bring it over and went back to his room” Lmao @ Toya sending his boyfriend to be nice to his sister in his place 
If this show does not stop the floral cutaways I will not be able to take it seriously it is Ouran High School Host Club levels of intensity jdshfkjshdfkjhsdk
“Will you wait for me?” “Yes! I’ll wait! I’ll be waiting!” I think they threw out all continuity just so they could establish that these feelings were for sure mutual for the setup of the sequel series
That, or the original series so heavily discarded manga continuity that they are trying to walk it back to something more accurate without any real explanation
Rffkghkfghkdfhgkj if they’re referencing the original anime bear scene what was the point of that stupid prologue SO WHAT IS THE TRUTH
“My name is Mike. I’m from Portland” LOL references to Americans in anime are always so funny 
“Now I can stay in Tomoeda forever” did u bring ur mom and sisters orrr
Gosh I’m actually quite thrown by how quickly this romance escalated it took them 57 episodes to just use each other’s first names and now it’s taken them one (1) episode to Commit 4Ever At Age 13
HAHAHA do they have smart phones now? Always on the cutting edge
“I Am a Stuffed Animal” some of the quirky captions ARE worth it
“Make sure you tell him... even the smallest things” Yue has become more of a romantic since he got closure and a part-time boyfriend 
“I never knew! Thanks for telling me!” “Never change, Li-kun” kjhgkjhdkj STILL MY GULLIBLE BOY some things don’t ever change
Is that a dragon?? They are really expanding this magical universe
It bears repeating the polar opposite levels of pacing from the two shows it’s only episode one and they’ve already established so many new rules and powers 
I don’t blame them for it though bc they have to put forward some kind of plot progression
There were so many visual effects in that scene I couldn’t even tell what was happening lmao it’s like reading manga battles
“But why are these things happening in Tomoeda again?” I mean not to point fingers but Syaoran’s arrival is fairly recent
“Did Wei-san come back with you” “No, just me. But he said he’d come to check on me in a while” HE’S 13?? CHILD. WELFARE. LAWS!!!!
“I wish that I could’ve used it as a reference” “For what?” “To make something that would look wonderful on you” LMAO now that Syaoran and Sakura are a thing He is Included in the outfits 
“’Great to have you’ so you can do what?” don’t bully ur sister Toya, u r both happy with your respective relationships now
WHAT ARE THE STAKES OF KERO PRETENDING TO BE A PLUSHIE TOYA IS LITERALLY DATING THE MOON
I understood “Gale” but what exactly is a “Siege” card this feels a little abstract 
“We managed to keep him in the dark” did u tho? Again. Moon boyfriend
“So it happened in her room” Did u put a protection spell on that bear or something Syaoran 
I genuinely do not tire of Syaoran and Sakura’s shared gullibility this couple is morosexual solidarity
How convenient that Sakura’s new key just announces whenever there’s a new clear card to collect lmao
I meant what I said about Toya’s love language being touching Yukito somewhere above the shoulders 
“You’ll find out when the time comes” Dfddjhfjkdhf Toya what are you going to DO 
Two cards in one episode is quite a bit for ep 3 I guess they’re trying to give her some more fighting options lol 
Is the implication of the way Sakura just happens to be coming across magical phenomenon that Clow Reed didn’t make his cards but just harnessed magic that existed in nature 
For no reason other than my own suspicion I think that something funky is going on with Syaoran’s powers
“That person was almost the same height as me” I mean so was Eriol
“Sakura and the Lovely Transfer Student” we know by now transfer students mean that shit’s about to get real
“And then you slept with your belly uncovered” “I did not!” Toya’s gentle bullying to distract Sakura is always weirdly sweet
“Your brother is so funny Sakura” CHIHARU’S RIGHT STAN TOYA
SHINOMOTO ARE YOU SHITTING ME JHDFGHDGDFDD WHY DOES IT RHYME
“I hope we can be friends” if I know anything about this show this means she’s going to do something very shady immediately
I wonder if this will be the season that Tomoyo’s filming of everything Sakura does finally becomes plot relevant
I do think it’s weird that Sakura trusted a new key without questioning it
“I’m changing back” LOL @ YUE TRANSFORMING INTO YUKITO JUST TO AVOID PEOPLE I’M STARTING TO REALLY LIKE HIM
DGSJGSJDGDJGSFFSJDHJS YUKITO APOLOGIZING FOR YUE LEAVING RUDELY THAT’S MY POLITE AND HANDSOME MAN WHO HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG IN HIS LIFE
I KNEW Syaoran was being suspicious!!! Talking about Sakura with Eriol in secret phone calls
“I came here to be ready for that time, when it comes” current theory is that Syaoran has NO powers and that’s why he is not running out of his classroom for teenage battles with the Forces of Nature
“How much has Yukito-san been eating?” “Not as much as he did when you were in elementary school, but he still eats a lot for his size” This must be a strange conversation for their dad to listen to but I like how this is code for Does Yukito Have Magical Chakra Exhaustion
“Um, I just... Phone call” said Sakura, as she was forcibly moonwalked away right in front of her friends’ eyes
LOL is Tomoyo being unable to film Sakura going to be a recurring joke 
“Don’t worry about it” “I have to, when it’s about you” Syaoran really going Full Boyfriend Mode huh
I’ve never questioned it in until precisely this moment but who pays Kero’s phone bill?? Is it Tomoyo? Who is the account holder for this stuffed animal did she establish Kero as a legal person
“Momo-chan, let’s be friends okay?” I feel like this has to be immediate foreshadowing for Momo being alive
[Cucumber cut incorrectly] “Gotta show Yuki” hjkfhksjdhfkjhd rude of Toya but the caption kills me
Ddjkhfkjdhfjkdhfkjh the pure juxtaposition of this energy:
Tomoyo: They have other things to do
Chiharu, thinking that it’s a romance thing: [Winks]
Syaoran and Sakura: [In the shadows while threatening music plays]
“I didn’t feel... anything” oh NO why r their magic senses NOT tingling
I feel like I have been had, they had an episode called the “Song of the Moon” and Yukito didn’t even show up?? Rude
SCREAM this magical FaceTime call is much funnier than I could’ve imagined
“Yukito is in a recitation club, which he takes very seriously” GDGJFGJGJHGDG Yue very respectful of not occupying Yukito’s time with magical shenanigans LMAO
“And we’ll make them the cutest oxygen masks you’ve ever seen” Tomoyo, like the background effects artists in this anime, will not be stopped
Well colour me inaccurate I guess Syaoran can use his powers and he can do a fancy new sword thing
I like this flying scarf it’s the first of the new cards with a personality
Poor Syaoran always so serious to being a Teenage Wizard is hard
Wow I bet there’s NOTHING weird about the fact Akiho lives in Eriol’s house it’s just pure happenstance (said no one)
“Could we um, go out together?” I think this is the first time someone has explicitly scheduled a date in all 80+ episodes
I really do enjoy Toya’s never-ending list of temp jobs lmao 
“Still going on, huh?” Toya’s older brother senses are unparalleled
LMAO IS THIS A 15 YEAR OLD BUTLER
Ghgjhfjfjhfjh what is the scale for these heights why is Kaito twice the height of these 13-year-olds
Unsubtle shot of this man’s pocket watch echoing Sakura’s dream
I’ve never seen a more Rich Person Reaction than Akiho getting upset that Katio, a service worker, stated that taking care of her was his job hfkjdhfkjh
“I came to Japan because there was a book I wanted”
1. VERY Rich Person thing to say
2. Wow I wonder which of you has a MAGICAL BOOK that’s been doing weird things lately
“What language is it�� “I don’t know, but I’ve learned to read it” me when I hear people speak South Asian languages LMAO
Why does everyone keep referencing the Time That’s Coming? Toya, Syaoran, Eriol... they’ve all caught Mizuki’s affliction of vague and unhelpful prophecies
*One more go to jail Mizuki for the road
I hope that these stupid FaceTime calls with Yue are in EVERY episode from now on
Does the fact that he’s listed as Yue-san in Sakura’s phone mean that there’s a phone for each personality omg
OMG I just realized the ep title (Sakura’s Thrilling Aquarium Visit) must be a throwback to “Sakura’s Heart-Racing First Date” which was not a date but took place at an aquarium. Cute!!
GJHGSHJGFSGH Yue is me whenever people talk about video games:
Kero: Hey, Yue, play an online game with me
Yue: [Hangs up immediately]
“I made you wait” “Nah, I got here too early. It’s still twelve minutes before our meeting time.” I think she and Yukito had this exact exchange in that early ep
“She doesn’t have magical powers, but she’s oddly perceptive” I hope that Meilin’s one and only magical power is precognition lmao
Omg every time someone in this show speaks English I am so thrown 
“I wasn’t sure how I should look at him” awww Syaoran trying to re-establish himself in the family
I guess this aquarium HAS changed in that it developed a security system for when the tank breaks [youknowwhathatisgrowth.gif]
LOL I guess it’s convenient to have an invisibility cloak when ur breaking and entering I was wondering how they were going to deal with their criminal behaviour in the age of cameras
Ep 10. Sakura’s Unbelievable Juvenile Detention Centre
Weel weel weel looks like Sakura isn’t the only one with new powers nice ice Syaoran!! I missed their tag team fights
OH MY GOD IF THIS PHOTO ALBUM ACCEPTS THE CONTINUITY OF THE SECOND MOVIE THEN SAKURA AND SYAORAN HAVE ALREADY! DONE! THEIR! CONFESSIONS! WOULD YOU PICK A LANE
“You want the person you like to eat good food” Besides the fact Kaito is twice your height and therefore probably an adult... u should not make advances on people u employ - this is all very bad-vibes-no-jutsu
I am shocked that it took this long for Sakura to notice that her new cards paralleled the old cards
Syaoran is staring at Kaito like he murdered his spouse in a previous life 
“So he has Moon magic too?” UHHHH WAS SYAORAN’S MAGIC ALWAYS MOON-BASED I FEEL LIKE THAT’S NOT CLEAR
Also very unclear why Eriol keeps leaving her on read if he’s talking to Syaoran what
I love how Kero has independent friendships and communications with both Yukito and Tomoyo lmao
How many times has Penguin Park been destroyed by now
“Perhaps your dream is gradually progressing” Progressing into what exactly the Battle of the Nice Thirteen-Year-Olds
Why is it that magic in this universe comes with above-average athletic ability LOL
Once again, without a body/personification, these cards seem harsh
Kaito seems like too much of a red herring a la Mizuki so I’m going to assume the other presence we see is someone we either haven’t met yet or smth really fucked up with the rest of the main cast 
I’d lose my mind if it was Toya but I genuinely hope not he’s too nice
I honestly missed Meilin ever since she chilled out a bit she’s very fun
“The emoji in her message definitely looked thrilled” [Bob Dylan voice] For the times they are a-changin’.....
“I don’t know when it’ll happen, but when it does you’ll know” Toya.......
Toya’s absolutely nonplussed reaction to his Moon Boyfriend never ceases to amaze
Yukito: [Sighs and floats into the air to wrap in a wing cocoon]
Toya: [Sitting and staring unfazed] 
Also am I crazy or was that transformation on purpose bc it really had the energy of ‘Fine if you won’t talk to me maybe you’ll talk to Rude Magical Me!!’
“Did I change again?” GUESS NOT LMAO 
Also it’s fun how as different as Yukito and Yue are, their shared brain cell says ‘TOYA COMMUNICATE WITH MEE’ 
“But ever since Syaoran came back, he’s had something important on his mind” People don’t give Sakura enough credit for her emotional intelligence
Can we take a minute to appreciate Sakura’s outfit fashion ICON
What is this Furry card that makes u dress up in ears and a tail lmao
“I’ll treasure [these cookies]” “I’d rather you ate them” LOL
My Furry card prediction gets more and more accurate with each passing second (even a broken clock’s right twice a day)
Uhhhhh Syaoran what did u sell to the moon devil to be able to cut through the space-time continuum
Sakura: NO THAT’S MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT SYAORAN
SCREAM this family and their circle of hair cutting (also if Yukito cuts Toya’s hair, does Toya cut Yukito’s? Or does it not grow bc magic jfhkfh)
“I’m pretty sure that was middle school English” Sakura hearing English is me hearing French LMAO 
“Sucks, doesn’t he?” MEILIN PLS
Djhfjkdhkjfhjk Tomoyo’s immediate rage at being the centre of attention
SAKURA DOING MAGIC RIGHT IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE OMG
“Surround the entire mansion” Very subtle Sakura I’m sure no one in your whole town will notice
“I hear her father specializes in archaeology, so he might have some interesting books” “Have I mentioned Sakura-san’s father to you before?” [Dramatic cut in music] WELL
Oh my GOD did Kaito just turn back time bc he regretted what he said immediately? Honestly a mood
Also: BITCH
“You’re so alike, and not just because of your names” I have to say I’ve been thinking since her first appearance that Akiho looks like Nadeshiko so if they’re not related I will be surprised
“Sometimes watching good people makes me feel sad” well damn Meilin
I’m going to guess this Teenage Robot is the equivalent of the fight card that Meilin fought upon her introduction
Aw HELL YEAH SAKURA AND MEILIN TAG TEAM FIGHT WOOOO
“Aren’t you and Syaoran doing too much for those you care about, and forgetting to care about yourselves?” WELL DAMN MEILIN U R THE NEW TEENAGE SUPERHERO THERAPIST
 “Can I call you ‘Sakura’ from now on, too?” AHHH THESE KIDS
LMAO AMAZING IT TOOK 13 STRAIGHT EPISODES FOR MOMO TO EVEN TWITCH
“We are indeed progressing... toward that time” I feel THREATENED
Once again I cannot stress strongly enough how much I love physical comedy
Sakura: They don’t seem to be causing any harm
The dessert rolls:
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GOD the roll cakes eating each other to form one giant monster Babushka doll roll cake jhfjkdhgkdjhgkj incredible
EXCUSE ME MA’AM WHY WAS THERE A DEMON GIRL IN THE REFLECTION OF THIS SHATTERED CARD 
“Please laugh again” Akiho is v nice I really hope Kaito isn’t mean 
“Once a magical contract is formed, it can’t be broken, unless something really serious happens” [Quirrel voice] Can anyone tell me what foreshadowing is?
“What do you feel” “I think it’s a card” Very observant Sakura I think they gathered that
When Sakura gets all four of the base elements is Momo going to turn into a 200 pound giant rabbit
I like that every time Toya is concerned about Sakura, Yue appears suddenly to discuss the matter seriously with him [Gay and Wondorous Life of Caleb Gallo voice] He’s in this relationship!!
“When you’re angry or upset, it shows on your face, even if you don’t say it” Yue IS in this relationship woooow
“When humans realize they’re talking to a fox, they won’t sell you mittens. In fact, they’ll catch you and put you in a cage.” UH who is the fox in this metaphor not Sakura I hope???
Years later Syaoran is still winded if Sakura makes too much eye contact khgkghkjg 
The fact that Yukito reads at a children’s hospital... truly one of The Nicest Not-Humans On Earth
Well with each passing episode we have less and less reasons to trust these cards and Kaito the Young Magical Butler
Ever since Kaito reversed time, I cannot shake the persistent thought that Akiho IS Nadeshiko. That’d be weird but u know... I’ve seen this show do weirder
“Your sweets look better” “No, yours!” Grandpa witnessing this date
“Also if Sakura-chan goes to college or wants to do something else, he wants to help” TOYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
“Any further, and you won’t be able to return” NADESHIKO BE MORE SPECIFIC 
“It was my robe” Wait what ur family is a magical society or smth and somehow u don’t know Akiho??? How in the whomst
Everyone in this anime is like, ‘Haha Yue looks mad’ as if Yue does not look mad every second that he’s alive
KHKJHKFJHKJFHJ GRANDPA MASAKI REALLY GONNA GIVE SAKURA A HOUSE AND TOYA NOTHING LMAO WHAT’S IT LIKE TO BE THE LEAST FAVOURITE GREAT-GRANDCHILD LOL
“Nadeshiko would talk to things that weren’t there, and try to reach an understanding with things that couldn’t talk” 91 EPISODES LATER AND MR. KINOMOTO FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGES MAGIC?? OKAY
AND HE KNEW BOTH SAKURA AND TOYA HAVE HAD MAGICAL PROBLEMS FOR 3 YEARS!!! MR. KINOMOTO WHAT KIND OF HANDS-OFF PARENTING
“I want me to tell me [about your pain] too” wow this is the CALL-OUT EPISODE
“The house they live in was once torn down and replaced with an amusement park” were the continuity errors of accepting the second movie... A PLOT POINT?!?!?!
DAMN U KAITO I REALLY WANTED THINGS TO BE OKAY FOR AKIHO
“But I’ve got a great poker face” “Yes you do. But Yue does not” JKHDKJGHKJSHGKJHDKJGHSDJGHKJH BY DIALOGUE ALONE IT’S LIKE WHENEVER ANYONE SEES YUE’S FACE TWITCH IT MEANS HE’S HAVING AN EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN
Yue: Evil magic looming overhead is bad for your wifi signal actually
“I will obtain these new cards. So I can use the relic I took from the association to activate that magic spell” Kaito really laying out his motivations out loud in a library. Insensible. Vague and probably misleading. 1/10 villainous monologue 
Sakura’s powers are WILD she can duplicate the strength of her magic 
“Power that’s too strong will bring unhappiness to its owner” SYAORAN :((
I feel like the only way this can end is Toya giving Sakura magical noogie so she doesn’t have to carry all of her powers like the reverse of what he did for Yue-kito 
THERE IS TOO LITTLE TIME LEFT IN THIS SHOW FOR ALL THE ANSWERS I NEED THERE’S ONLY 20 MINUTES AHHHH
THERE ARE 12 MINUTES LEFT AND STILL NO ANSWERS!!! WHAT HAPPENSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I GOT ABSOLUTELY NO ANSWERS OH MY GOD?!?!?!?!
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dearlazerbunny · 6 years ago
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Vaguely NSFW Headcanons w/ the Ouran HSHC
This is simultaneously a character study ‘cause I was hankering for one and an excuse for my mind to go dirty places (plz don’t judge my brain is fragile). Special thanks to @meliapis for listening to me scream about this goddamn show.
Who knew all I needed to question my asexuality is six hot anime boys AMIRITE
Tamaki Suoh First of all, in true Tamaki ~style~, the mood will always be set. Rose petals, candles, fresh sheets on the bed, soft music playing, the whole nine yards. Seriously, even if you’re spontaneously in the mood, this boy will magically make lit candles appear with a snap of his fingers like wtf Tamaki how did you even… you know what, never mind. Secondly, Tamaki does not have sex, he makes love. Every time you’re intimate is his chance to show you just how much he loves and cherishes you. Wants to maintain eye contact at all times, and if he’s not holding your hand he’s kissing some part of you and is constantly whispering sweet nothings into your ear. He’s the most attentive, selfless lover on the face of the earth- literally does not give a crap about his own pleasure as long as you’re satisfied and taken care of. Everything is incredibly sweet, gentle, and languid; save for those last few minutes when his compliments aren’t quite as smooth rolling off his tongue and he has a hard time keeping himself together when he falls apart inside of you.
Likes it Rough? Absolutely not! No way in heck. To keep you safe and cared for and feel loved is so intrinsically apart of his nature, the idea of hurting you in any way (either by moving too fast or consensually leaving a few bruises) is abhorrent to him.
Kinks? Worship kink, but plot twist: not worshipping him, worshipping you. He gets off getting you off, verbally or physically. He’s also not subtle about it- this boy will literally produce a jewel-encrusted tiara and plop it on your head, and when you go to protest he’ll cut you off by eating you out for a solid thirty minutes straight until you can’t even remember how to form words. His tongue is good for more than just sweet talking if ya know what I mean.
Aftercare: Bubble baths with more rose petals and whatever your favorite essential oils happen to be (how he guessed your favorite scents you’ll never know). He’ll reverently clean every part of you, following up with small kisses here and there and refilling the water every so often so it’s always at the perfect temperature. More compliments about how good you felt, how beautiful you looked underneath him, what you do to him, etc. This can literally be an all day affair with him- not that you really mind.
...
Kyoya Ootori Considering Kyoya is a bonafide Workaholic™, you may not get the chance for sexy times as often as you or he would like. That being said, if you start planting kisses along his jawline and neck while he’s typing away on his laptop, or just straight up set yourself in his lap and give him a look- well, the boy isn’t stupid. He may also surprise you some nights (or in the middle of the day, if he needs to blow off some steam) by initiating all on his own, which is a rare treat. Kyoya is almost ruthlessly efficient- his penchant for memorizing every detail means he knows exactly which spots and what moves get you going, and he’ll go for them without warning or bashfulness. It isn’t an hours long affair (unless you’re on vacation, then that’s another story) but it’s exactly as long as it needs to be for the both of you to be left breathless and spent. Gives as good as he gets. Quick snaps of his hips, nibbling on your bottom lip or earlobe, hands roaming all over you- sometimes you have to beg him to slow down because holy hell it’s only been five minutes and you’re already too close to the edge.
Likes it Rough? Yesyesyes (see below)
Kinks? One hundred percent will tie your hands together over your head with one of his ties and absolutely loves to spank you. Seeing his hand prints on your ass turns him on. Could also see him with a very expensive-looking riding crop a la Irene Adler/Sherlock Holmes. His hands are constantly all over you, grabbing just hard enough to sting, and using your nails to scratch down his back always gets a lovely response out of him. Biting is definitely a thing- he’s very possessive, given that his older brothers have gotten everything in life before him, so he wants everyone to know that you are his and knowing that there’s bruises just beneath your collarbone underneath your shirt that he gave you definitely fits the bill.
On the flip side, there are nights where you decide you’re gonna take control and be the dom and Kyoya’s just going to have to deal with it now isn’t he? Will involve a lot of sarcastic backtalk and struggling on his end but eventually you’ll have him begging. After all, he can’t be a complete control freak all the time now can he? *evil smile*
Aftercare: In this instance, Kyoya needs it just as much as you do. He isn’t used to being emotional or letting his feelings take control, so when he does it’s quite taxing. Lots of cuddling; he’s definitely clingy though he wouldn’t admit it in a thousand years, but you’re clingy right back so you don’t mind. Occasionally there will be soft whispers of “you okay?” / “yeah, you?” And then lapsing back into comfortable silence. He likes to nuzzle his head into your neck and listen to you just breathing and enjoying his presence.
...
Hikaru Hitachiin HOO BOY Hikaru is the definition of a wild card. You literally never know what you’re going to get with him- partially because he likes surprising you each and every time, and partially because that’s just the way his attention span/personality works. Down for it anytime, anywhere. You could literally be attending a funeral and he’d have a hand rubbing up and down your thigh. Can be a bit of a selfish lover, but generally you can pull him back on track by simply guiding his hands (or mouth… or, ahem, other appendages) to where you want them. He’s constantly trying to catch you off guard; make the experience thrilling and unique and maybe a little terrifying. If you’re looking for a relaxed, casual shag, this ain’t it.
Likes it Rough? *iconic Hitachiin shrug* if you’re game, he’s game
Kinks? Literally anything and everything. Ice cubes? There’s some in the freezer. You want to tie him up? He’s already unknotting his tie. On top of a fancy car in the garage? Now you’re speaking his language. Somewhere you could very easily get caught? He’ll keep one hand over your mouth to muffle you, and constantly remind you that “we have to keep it down” with that shit-eating grin of his all while he knows perfectly well his fingers are the things making you moan. Definitely the person to be with if you want to experiment- he’s most likely just as curious about [insert x here] as you are. Would also rarely think a suggestion of yours is stupid- and even if he thinks it is, he can most likely very easily be convinced with a few whispers into his ear about what you’ll do to him if he agrees.
Aftercare: Doesn’t necessarily need it himself- he can switch on and off no problem- but if you want it he’ll be there to run a hand through your hair and talk about nothing important until your breathing returns to normal. Most of the time “aftercare” involves A) cleaning up the mess the two of you have made, B) escaping from the (very public) scene of the crime, or C) doing damage control if you weren’t quite quiet enough in your escapades and people are starting to get suspicious about what the two of you were doing in the ten minutes you mysteriously disappeared. Luckily, Hikaru is a master of redirection, so he’d launch into some ridiculous story about thinking you saw a robber run down the hallway while you’re mentally hoping your cheeks aren’t too red.
...
Kaoru Hitachiin This poor sweet boy is a bundle of nerves when it comes to anything intimacy-related. He’s constantly second guessing himself in his head, wondering if he’s an okay kisser or if you like his hands where they are or if he’s going fast or slow enough for you. You’ll have to make him look at you and remind him that yes, you’re doing great; yes, I love you and I want to be here with you, to calm his anxiety. Once you get past that, though, he’s very attentive and sweet. He wants to make sure you are totally taken care of, and sometimes you have to tell him it’s okay to ask if he wants something (he’ll blush and stammer out… could you touch me… here? And of course you’re okay with that, you want to make him happy just as much as he wants to make you feel loved). Takes directions very well, and is never offended if you tell him to move an inch to the left, to go faster or slow down, or to kiss you in a particular spot. Loves kissing you, mostly on the lips but can be convinced to wander elsewhere, particularly if you show him how it’s done first. Would totally be the type to look up articles on Cosmo about giving your partner better orgasms, how to do different sex positions, etc.
Likes it Rough? Not particularly. He’ll get a little handsy sometimes if he’s really into it, but almost always wants to apologize immediately- if you like it, you’ve gotta tell him before he spirals back into self-doubt. With some coaxing, patience, and teaching, you’ll both find a level of physicality that is comfortable and sexy for you both.
Kinks? Mild exhibition kink, probably left over from his time in the host club, and hella praise kink. If you tell him that he’s in just the right spot, to keep going, that he feels good, that he makes you feel amazing- ya boy will be putty under your fingertips. He loves hearing that he’s treating you well (and throwing in that he looks really hot like this never hurts either).
Aftercare: He very much wants it, but never wants to ask for it, so you get used to immediately pulling him to your side and cuddling with him when the two of you are finished. He will literally burrow into your side and stay like that for hours while tracing little patterns onto your hipbone. There’s almost a debrief every time- did you like it when I did this? What about this? You’re always happy to tell him what you enjoyed, and to teach him something new the next time if he wants you to show him exactly how you like something (he always does). He really wants you to be comfortable, so eventually he’ll get up and get new pajamas for the both of you  to change into (he always tries to pick your favorite set if they’re not in the wash- he knows you think you look cute in them, and he agrees), and then resume cuddling.
...
Takashi Morinozuka Mori is a very simple guy, and when it comes to sexy times he is always the absolute perfect gentleman. For sure the type that needs verbal confirmation/consent before, during and after. Before the two of you ever get too intimate, he sits down with you and has a one on one about what you like and don’t like in bed, any reservations you may have, if there’s anything you’d like to try or definitely don’t want to try- he suggests a safe word, just in case- and despite this conversation being months ago he never forgets a single detail. The fact that you’re trusting him with so much vulnerability means he has the responsibility to make sure you always feel safe and comfortable. After all, Mori is a big guy, and has literally been training to incapacitate people for a decade plus. He could hurt you if he’s not careful, and that would absolutely kill him. So he always starts of very slow and gentle, letting you set the pace, and follows your lead on whether you want this time to be slower or faster, sweeter or more intense. His touches and kisses are always very light and reverent, like he can’t believe he’s getting to hold something so beautiful. Not super vocal, other than to confirm you’re still okay with whatever the two of you are doing, so when you do something to illicit a moan or grumble out of him you know you’re doing something goddamn right.
Likes it Rough? Not really- he’s a man of peace unless absolutely necessary. But if you want it, it will take a lot of confirmation that yes, it’s okay; yes, there is good; no, you’re not hurting me. This will probably never go away no matter how long the two of you are together- he knows his own strength, but he can’t afford to accidentally get carried away one day in the heat of the moment and do something he’ll regret, even if it was an accident.
Kinks? You in lingerie. Simple guy, simple tastes, simple pleasures. He thinks you’re beautiful no matter what you’re wearing, but when you pull out the lace, or maybe something strappy- he can’t help himself, you’re just so goddamn pretty. It’s always fun to see the tips of his ears turn pink when you show yourself off to him in a new set you’ve picked up from the mall. On the other hand, though you don’t realize it, he also secretly really likes it when you wander around the house on a lazy Sunday wearing one of his big sweatshirts that’s practically a floor length dress on you. Something about you in his clothes, and the fact that you look so cute and cuddly in all that fabric… unf. Many impromptu kisses ensue, which always leaves you giggling.
Aftercare: Again, a perfect gentleman. He’ll always be up in a dash and be back just as quick with warm washcloths to clean the two of you up, then spoon you until you’re half asleep against him. Sometimes he brings back his sweats for you to put on instead of pajamas (hint hint). Big fan of you playing with his hair or telling him stories about your day while the two of you lay there; he absolutely loves the sound of your voice.
....
Mitsukuni Haninozuka Being intimate with Honey is never a somber affair- it’s always light, happy, and giggly. Definitely not one to take himself too seriously, and the two of you aren’t afraid to laugh together if something silly happens. There’s a tendency between the two of you for everything to be impromptu- lots of leaving cookies in the oven to burn while the two of you go off and in hand for some time together. Feather light kisses all up and down your body while tracing patterns onto your skin with his fingers. He always wants to be able to see your face; to see your reactions so he can gauge how he’s doing and just to see the pretty faces you make when you’re being pleasured. Lots of looking into your eyes as you share the experience together. He likes it when you kiss any bruises he may have gotten from martial arts practice; it makes him feel loved and cared for. Is constantly calling you beautiful, but will never call you cute in an intimate situation- cute is for everyday things and people, but when you’re alone with him like this you are beautiful and gorgeous, not cute.
Likes it Rough? Nope! Honestly the thought never even crosses his mind. I feel like if he found out some people were into rough sex he’d be very concerned for them. Sex is supposed to be loving and fun and happy! (Just like everything else in life really).
Kinks? Loves food in the bedroom- surprise surprise! Whipped cream licked off your stomach, a bit of hot chocolate syrup for temperature-play, picking blueberries off your skin one by one- it’s his favorite way to tease and make you squirm until you’re practically begging him to get on with it already. Of course, this also makes for several cute moments- wiping a squashed berry off of his cheek when he comes up to kiss you, or Honey licking a bit of whipped cream off your nose with childish glee.
Aftercare: All that sugar definitely requires some showering up afterwards, so the two of you generally share a shower or bath when you’re done. This includes bubbles, shampooing your and his hair into funny styles (he likes how he looks with a bubbly Mohawk, and pretends to act like a tough guy with it on), and lots more kisses. He always makes sure the towels are heated when the two of you get out. Then it’s usually off to the kitchen for some cake and tea.
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purplesurveys · 5 years ago
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541
check your shirt's tag; where was it made? I have no idea. I don’t want to take it off just to check where it was made either. do you most easily tan, burn, or freckle? I’m naturally tan, but my body still finds it easy to get tanner. I don’t get sunburns anymore, and I don’t have freckles. what's the longest you've gone without eating? A day and a few hours, I’m guessing. is there a book you keep telling yourself you'll read but still haven't? 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami. would/did you ever go to a third world country? Man, it feels insultingly astounding to be asked this question lmao. I live in one. Also a tip (which should be common sense), for those who ‘would’ want to go to a third world nation: do not go to countries like ours for your poverty porn bullshit.
do you often listen to the radio? Every day except the weekends. I tune in to the radio when I drive to school. did your family ever own a vacation home? No, we never did. are the stars in the night sky especially pretty from where you live? Just kind of. I’m in lower Antipolo, so we still get the light pollution coming from Pasig, Marikina, and Quezon City; the sky in higher Antip (that is, the part of the city on top of a mountain) is a lot prettier. where did your first kiss take place? In my bedroom, on my bed. my brother won't travel places with a language barrier; would you mind it? I kind of would mind it, just because it can be such a hassle. At the end of the day, and if I had options, I’d much rather go to places where speaking in English was safe to do. do you know who pete townshend is? The name is familiar, but I can’t place it. do you prefer headphones or earbuds? 15 year old Robyn taking surveys would say headphones, but I like earbuds now. have you ever opened a wine bottle? Nope. do you like watching music videos? I never watch music videos since most of them have little to do with the actual words of the song. I haven’t even seen all of Beyonce’s and Paramore’s, and they’re my favorites. does your music taste change drastically when you go through 'phases?' Not really. I don’t get into an artist and then discard them for something new after a few months, which is what I’m guessing ‘phases’ means. When I’m into an artist or band, I’m in it for life - that’s the case, anyway, for all the singers and bands I’ve ever loved so far. have you ever seen the movie 'dazed & confused?' I haven’t. have you ever heard the led zeppelin song with the same name? No. varity is good; is your lunch routine at school/work always the same? I don’t even get to have lunch because of my class schedule. which, if any, drug have you ever abused? is there someone who has changed your life drastically? Gab. are you into philosophy, or do you think that stuff's a waste? A fuuuuuuucking waste, for me. There is literally no field I hate more. have you been inside of a police station? Yeah. I’ve gone twice: the first was when my parents went there to have their fingerprints stamped (I was way too young so it was vague, but the visit still confuses me to this day). The next time was in 2017; I went there for a news assignment. are you organized, an organized mess, or just a mess? Organized mess. Huge thanks for including us. do you know your mail(wo)man? The guys delivering our bills changes every time. honestly, are you often high-maintinence/hard to please? Not really; the only thing I’m very particular about is where to eat lmao. who, if anyone, is your favorite movie director? Stanley Kubrick. are there any flags flying outside at your home? No. do you know which band sings 'don't stop believin'?' Journey.  what would you never change about yourself? I like how loyal I am to my loved ones, so probably that. how do you react to a stranger who is undeservingly rude to you? I do something to get back at them, but just subtly. where do you hide things that you don't want whoever you live with to find? My school bag. did you ever wear those bracelets made from inside of bottle tops? I don’t think I ever did. what do you think of all that '2012 is the end of the world' stuff? It was a fun concept I guess? I wasn’t scared of it, but it gave us something to talk about back then lmao. how do you acquire your music? Spotify. why aren't you outside right now? Because I’m tired, I slept 3 hours the other night, 4 hours last night, and all I want to do is crash on our couch like what I’ve been doing for the last three hours. will you vote in the next presidential election? Yes.  have you ever fallen asleep in a movie theatre? OMG yes, I fell asleep watching the last full show of the Spongebob live-action movie that was in cinemas like 3-4 years ago. My siblings never woke me up and literally just sat there waiting for me to wake up on my own??????? So when I finally did the credits were long finished and there was a dude cleaning up the cinema. I swear sometimes my siblings need to be bonked in the head for them to figure out what to do. do you pretty much need a car to get around where you live? Yes. have you been to australia? No. do you mind drinking room-temperature water? A little. If it’s the only thing around, I’d complain in my head before I drink it lol. when did you last use a disposable camera? 2001? Idk. try to count the number of times you took an airplane; how many times? 20-30, I’m guessing. what do you think of the winter holiday season? I think it sucks that I’m missing out on it. what kind of things are you most likely to doodle? Practicing my alma mater’s unique penmanship and writing random words or lyrics to practice, so that I don’t forget it. I don’t really doodle. do you think covers of songs usually ruin the originals? Not ruin, but they are never nearly as good. are you any good at texas hold'em? I am not. have you ever gotten lost alone in an unfamiliar city? I don’t think so. youtube's 'david blaine street magic's are hilarious; want to watch now? No thanks.
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itsclydebitches · 6 years ago
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RWBY Recaps: Vol. 5 Known By Its Song
This is a re-posting from Nov. 18th, 2017 in an effort to get all my recaps fully on tumblr. Thanks!
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Five years on air and RWBY still has the ability to make me stupidly emotional. This episode was no exception.
Our title, "Known By Its Song" comes from the old saying that "A bird is known by its song, a man by his words," presumably referring to times when a man's "word" was equated with his honor. We begin the episode with Qrow--someone who is notably both man and corvus, a dichotomy that the episode will later comment on--who is out keeping his own word to Ozpin, searching for other huntsmen and huntresses to help them in their battle against Salem.
...and he's a complete drama queen about it.
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Yes, in retrospect this is a Very Serious Situation, but getting a montage of Qrow literally bending over backwards in frustration before finally collapsing to his knees? Pretty hilarious. The first bar he visits, looking for someone named Shiro, doesn't go well at all, but for two minutes at least we can chock everything up to Qrow's semblance: the bartender doesn't know where Shiro is, he's not allowed back until he pays what he owes, and that debt is apparently high enough to warrant Qrow getting a knife thrown at him through the wall. Yeesh.
As his mission continues though, it becomes clear that there's far more at play than a bit of bad luck. Qrow is conducting his search in the poverty stricken areas of Haven, which is both a wonderful bit of world building and a perfect bit of characterization. After all, Qrow had a life of raids and disreputable behavior before he hooked up with the Ozilluminati. Any friends that he goes "way back" with are bound to be, if not criminals, then other huntsmen and huntresses with equally dubious pasts. The area where Qrow expects to find his friends is drab and gray, a sharp contrast to the beautiful seating area he'll rest in later, complete with holographic technology and a water garden with lily pads. The houses are boarded up and falling apart. The people wear filthy clothes, spend their time betting on street fights, and have some rather horrific injuries--hello, one-eyed weapons seller. What really completes the picture is a sign outside the bar proclaiming that there are NO FAUNUS allowed. Here in the U.S. racism has long been used as a means of pacifying those at or below the poverty line. Struggling to survive? Facing a government that cares little about whether you eat or your kids go to school? Well at the very least you're still white! It's a horrific truth about this country, but a truth nonetheless, and for once I'm glad that Rooster Teeth is forcing their race analogy back into the narrative. As flimsy as it still is, it does make sense that the most poverty-ridden parts of Haven would also be one of the most overtly discriminatory. This is just a more blunt version of what we saw back in Atlas during Jacques' little charity ball. He makes speeches about faunus who complain about dangerous working conditions. Bartenders in Haven slap up signs on their wall. It's the same thing with a different face.
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Not that Qrow has time to worry about that right now. He runs through name after name learning that each person is missing--or worse. His search comes to an end when, frustrated, he reams out a guy right before a little girl toddles up, asking if this strange man knows where her Mommy is. I find it rather poignant that it's in this moment, one of his worst, that Qrow actually resists his flask. Perhaps he wants to keep feeling whatever emotions rose up from that little encounter. I think he hates himself just enough to go that route.
I also find it reassuring that for all his talk about how he can't get close to others because of his semblance, Qrow does know a lot of people. He's popular in his own way, making allies, acquaintances, and friends on both sides of the fence, so to speak. It's a punch to the gut when we see him back among Haven's upper class, staring at a mission board like the one we saw in Beacon. Every name up there--all these people he's come to care about--are missing, gone on search and destroy missions and never returned. Just as the viewer is beginning to realize why Shiro hasn't payed his debt, that it probably has nothing to do with a sleazy nature, Qrow is back at the bar. He pays off the money Shiro owes and tells the bartender firmly that "His name is clear" now.
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I'd be more moved by this scene if I wasn't distracted by how the hell lien works in this world. Seriously. It seems straightforward enough at first glance. Different colors represent different amounts, right? But then here's Qrow throwing down a single card that pays off the16,000 debt. That seems like a random number. Who makes a 'bill' worth that exact amount? Unless Qrow payed him more than the minimum, or that was acting more like a credit card.
I don't know. This is the fantasy show that has yet to introduce languages other than English. You can't look too closely at RWBY's world building.
On to things I can actually conceptualize: Yang and Weiss are finally having their talk with Raven. Who was surprised by the setting that includes a decorative tea set and low table? Not me. I've seen a bunch of comics these last two weeks depicting that conversation exactly as it occurred, at least aesthetically. How did we know? Something something Yang's Asian influence. Again, don't look too closely. The point is that Raven is starting a very ironic conversation regarding "truth."
I actively dislike this woman.
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Her attempts to manipulate Yang two episodes back were pretty blatant, but kudos for better subtly here: by insisting that Yang needs to question everything--including Raven--Raven actually positions herself as both wise (the one to gift Yang with this advice) and trustworthy; as the only one to admit her own, potential duplicity, she paradoxically comes across as the most honest. Too bad Yang's too smart to fall for her mind games. Or too straight forward. Weiss is the one talking herself in circles about whether magic might actually exist or not. Yang has a laser focus that nothing can penetrate: find Ruby.
I said last time that Raven was going to either drop some crazy plot twist about Ozpin, or just catch the girls up on what we already know. Looks like Rooster Teeth went with option two. Raven (taking her sweet time and being real vague about it) sums up what we've learned this season, if not earlier: Salem is a person that exists and is a Big Threat, she wants to kill off all of humanity (which presumably includes the faunus?), magic is a thing, and Raven just happens to know someone who can "come back from the dead." Wow. Wonder who that could be!
She does actually drop a few tidbits of interesting information. She reveals that she and Qrow entered Beacon to learn how to kill huntsmen and obviously only one of the twins was dissuaded from that goal. Her comment that the entrance exams were "child's play" is particularly fascinating because I'd always assumed there had to be something beyond just sending in transcripts and not screwing up initiation. Which begs the question, how did Jaune get past an exam of that caliber? Did Ruby just skip it with Ozpin's permission? Presumably.
In the end though, no matter how much Raven might want Yang to believe her "truth," her overwhelming bias shines through. The fact that she claims to have info on Ozpin and makes the beginning of the conversation all about Qrow hints at those feelings of betrayal. She ends the conversation on Tai--an insult that finally has Yang losing her patience. And throughout the middle Raven emphasizes that Salem is an entity that can't be stopped. Her beef with Ozpin (according to this conversation at least) isn't that he's inherently evil, but that he's convincing people to fight with him in an impossible war.
The problem here is that Raven is the only one who sees this war as "impossible." I've touched on this before, but Volume 5 is pulling strongly from that mission in Mountain Glenn, back when Oobleck got Team RWBY to think about why they wanted to be huntresses in the first place. Yes, on the surface that episode seems to confirm Raven's belief that most enter the life for money, fame, or power: Blake wants tools to fight for equality, Weiss wants to break away from her father, Yang wants an exciting life--they all have ulterior motives. But Raven didn't watch the full episode, all the way to when the girls acknowledge this around the campfire and make conscious (if silent) decisions not to be overly influenced by these motivations. They're fighting first and foremost because it's the right thing to do. Raven sees them as the "poster children" of Beacon academy, naive kids who are too blinded by their ideals to realize how cruel the world is, easily manipulated and then sacrificed by Ozpin. But she's the one who's blind here. The girls know more than they let on, they've acknowledge their failings and the world's... and they've decided to fight anyway.
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For Team RWBY/JNPR  fighting Salem isn't impossible. It's just incredibly hard. Ruby, their leader, is the embodiment of this belief, reminding Oscar last episode that they have to keep moving forward. And it’s a sign of growth: Team RWBY is what Ozpin once hoped Team STRQ could be. Raven hates Ozpin because she sees a man sacrificing pawns to an unbeatable foe. Ozpin's allies love him because they see a man doing everything he can to defeat an incredibly powerful foe. But not an invincible one.
Of course, we don't have all the information yet. Raven says that she hates Ozpin for one more reason, for "what he did to my brother and me." The pacing of this scene is important, because Raven's second in command tells Yang and Weiss to go "see for themselves" what this horrible sin is and it's then that we get Raven soaring through the air in her bird form. It's been a big question for a while now: how can Qrow and Raven transform if they have other semblances? The reigning theory was that it had something to do with their tribe connection, but now it seems that this was, somehow, Oz's doing.
Oz is the Wizard theory, anyone?
Why Raven views being able to turn into a kickass bird as a bad thing, I don't know. Some aversion to magic perhaps? Is there a downside here? I’m rather confused as to how this is something bad... And I'd actually always assumed that Ruby and Yang knew about their uncle's ability, but we learn otherwise here. Why keep it from the girls then? Is it just because it's personal, like a semblance? Or does Qrow also view his transformations as something tainted... unnatural even? I hope this aversion is addressed. Perhaps it will tie back to this volume's focus on semblances. In that, if Team RWBY is truly Team STRQ 2.0, then Ozpin might well gift the girls with new abilities too, just as he did for Qrow and Raven. He's already admitted that there are heights to reach beyond merely unlocking and practicing your semblance--heights that he can perhaps unlock.
Which raises another interesting possibility: Could Summer do something extra? ... can Tai?
(And then here's prodigy Ruby with semblance, silver eyes, and potential magic powers on the way. Don't overload the small child lol. There needs to be some struggle.)
In the end, if Raven had hoped that her little talk would get Yang on her side she was very mistaken. She opens the portal and Yang drives them through without hesitation, right when Qrow is agonizing over what's happened to all his contacts. His panicked "Raven?" transforming into a simple, happy "...oh" was a blessing in two words.
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Then. Then we're given the scene that watered my crops, cleared my skin, and has done all my other writing for me. Ren, Nora, and Ruby happily cooking up a huge dinner together, expecting a whole slew of fighters to show up with Qrow and intending to feed every one of them. Ruby burning the food despite Ren's warnings. Hearing Qrow calling her and knowing what was about to happen. It’s all great. 
I really love that Ruby was so nervous when she caught sight of Yang. Despite her letter last volume where she admits that running off to Haven was reckless, we haven't seen much about her thoughts on that decision. It all comes tumbling out here though. That a part of her regrets it, how sorry she is that she didn't wait for Yang, she should have tried to do more...everything. Not that Yang blames Ruby for any of that. She takes one look at her crying sister and runs to hug her, saying only, "I love you."
And Weiss... oh Weiss. How dare you question your place here. She looks discouraged for only a moment before Ruby (always perceptive) calls her over.
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The episode ends with this.
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And we're officially halfway through the volume. We've got Team RWY back together, much sooner than I expected, honestly. 
Now it's time to find Blake!
Other Details of Note
Of course Weiss can tell the difference between a crow and a raven. I mean yes, that was necessary for the plot, but still.
Weiss' "I know that you're really obnoxious" in response to Raven's attempts at hospitality. Pfff drag her.
Weiss' eye roll when Raven said she wouldn't be as "nice" next time they meet. Please.
Weiss' overt concern for Yang and saying straight out that it's okay if she's not okay and my god she was on fire this episode for someone mostly sticking to the background.
Yang telling Raven not to talk about "my family" that way. Raven is no longer a part of that picture and I want to cheer at how Yang is handling all this so far.
I also appreciate the contrast, visually, between Qrow's transformation and Raven's. Their 'reveals' are done in opposite directions and for opposite purposes: Qrow transforms while flying left to right across the screen and attempting to save his family; Raven transforms right to left while trying to keep Yang from hers. Nicely done there.
I forgot to mention this last time but... can we lay off the Nora + food jokes? It was funny before we learned she starved for most of her childhood. So yeah, comments about how she's going to eat everything in sight aren't so much a joke as a sign of trauma. Let the poor girl eat what she likes.
Yang cradles Weiss in "Lighting the Fire" the exact same way she cradles Ruby here. Yang is confirmed big sister to the entire RWBY/JNPR group.
Oscar's confused look that melts into understanding, courtesy of Ozpin. It's a subtle moment, but just another indication of how they're synching up. Lovely detail there.
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hopevalley · 6 years ago
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S6E2: Phone Rings & Heartstrings (Episode Write-Up)
You can also read this on my site here.
And here we are at the beginning of another new season! How do you feel? Like it’s been forever? Like it’s been little more than the blink of an eye? I know for me it’s a combination of both. It’s crazy to think a year has passed since S5! But we’ve made it to the next chapter of When Calls the Heart! I wonder what this season will have in store for us?
Plotlines for this episode:
Motherhood
Laura & College
The Telephone Comes to Hope Valley
Rosemary Plays Cupid
Jesse and Clara
The Saloon Closes
Not related to the episode exactly, but I noticed they didn’t reference Jack’s death directly in the “last time” clip. For a second, I thought they weren’t even going to let him have a speaking line, but they gave him half of a sentence. Also unrelated, the new part of the intro is great! I just wonder why they didn’t take the time to do new character bits for the characters, while they were at it. Some of these are pretty outdated.
So here we are at:
Plot #1: Motherhood!
I’ll admit that I was dreading this part a little bit. It’s hard to say where the line is between “teacher” and “mother.” I was afraid one might eclipse the other (and you know which one would be doing the eclipsing, because this is Hallmark). That said, I think overall they did a pretty good job of including the baby without making him this big overwhelming part of the actual story.
So, we find out that Jack Junior is four months old, making it almost May 1916.
The general ‘plot’ here is as follows: Elizabeth has to go back to work and finds it difficult. Molly, Rosemary, Florence, and Clara have agreed to take turns watching the baby, but it bothers Elizabeth that little Jack won’t have a more concrete schedule; she’d rather have a more stable arrangement.
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This isn’t a very long or detailed plot, but it works. Everyone I know who had to go back to work bawled their eyes out when they had to drop their babies off at daycare. I know I would! Elizabeth finding it hard to balance being a mother and a teacher makes sense, but the best part about this is that she doesn’t consider quitting teaching for even a second.
First, I think it’s fair to say she needs the money, but second…she loves it! How can she balance Jack with teaching in a way that feels satisfying? That tells her that her child is getting the best arrangement she can afford while also allowing her to work to provide both the necessities and fun things?
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Elizabeth’s slight clinginess isn’t really a shock or a surprise to me. It’s natural. She spent four months doing whatever she wanted with her life and her baby, and to have to hand him over to someone else every day for hours and hours… Well, it wouldn’t feel good.
I think the best part of this plot was that, like I said earlier, it wasn’t overdone. Nothing about it felt overdramatic or unnecessary.
And it wrapped up neatly with the next plot on the list:
Plot #2: Laura & College
Laura is out of school, now. In my opinion, it’s definitely that time. She’s gotta be about 15 or 16 by this point, and that’s when education ended for the majority of people. And it’s nice to get to see that transition, because with characters like Gabe, we just didn’t get it.
Free from the constraints of having to be in the classroom, Laura’s taken a job to help out her dad: working part-time at the mercantile. She loves to read, and devours the books Elizabeth loans her, but she’s given up on the idea of college. It costs too much money, and her dad needs her help.
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Elizabeth, determined to find a way to make it work, writes to an acquaintance of hers who is an administrator of a preparatory school in Hamilton. She includes Laura’s grades and a recommendation letter.
Laura is accepted as a corresponding (or correspondence) student! It’ll let her study at home and send in her work (or maybe let her do it under Elizabeth’s supervision), so she’s still free to work and help her dad around the farm.
Unfortunately that leaves her little time to do her schoolwork…
So Elizabeth offers a solution that will benefit them both: Laura can be Jack Junior’s nanny! Then she’ll have a little downtime to work on her schoolwork, and it’ll pay more because it’ll be full-time.
Laura accepts the deal!
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Again, this plot wasn’t huge or convoluted; it wasn’t dramatic. It was nice! And I loved how the general ‘motherhood concerns’ plot tied into this one. It didn’t need to be heavily intertwined at all. They just needed to connect. Which they did, and quite well.
That said, I don’t know if I’d trust a 15/16-year-old girl with no real babysitting experience to be full-time nanny of my baby! In that way, the solution is…maybe just a pinch too convenient? Wilma was established as being poor, and with a school-age child, maybe she would have been a better choice.
But I can’t deny that there’s a lot of room for future drama with this, too. Laura will have the opportunity to grow as a student and as a nanny! Maybe she’ll make mistakes. Maybe she’ll almost regret accepting it. Maybe… Well, it just leaves things open for some good future potential!
Plot #3: The Telephone Comes to Hope Valley
This plot isn’t really a very big deal, mostly because they skipped through all of the potential drama that would have happened when Abigail had to get people to actually bring the telephone to town. I guess at least Henry mentions that it couldn’t have been easy—and, on the plus side, too, it seems that any of the drama Abigail went through to get the phone there? Was kept from everyone else.
So… the telephone is coming to Hope Valley! There will be a line in the mercantile, the mayor’s office, the jail, and Lee’s office. As Henry says, that’s a good start!
The drama here is all good-natured. Ned tells the company he can definitely figure out the wiring, but uh…he can’t. 
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He really can’t. He has no idea what he’s looking at, and the directions are confusing…so the big reveal for their four o’clock call is an awkward silent mess. Embarrassing, but also funny in a mostly good-natured sort of way.
The telephone company sends Fiona Miller to straighten things out, which she does, and not without a little sass (or uh, flashin’ a li’l ankle)! She’s easy to like. I hope she sticks around past the second episode, personally, but I can’t quite figure out if she’s meant to be a longstanding cast member or just one of those “couple of episode” characters. It’s easy to imagine it going either way.
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Anyway, she fixes things right on up, the phone rings, and Abigail answers it.
Again, another…rather calm plot. It’s giving us a nice set-up for future plotlines by giving the cast access to a telephone. So who knows how things might go? It could be interesting.
That said, the one thing about this plot that I didn’t care for? Bill’s role as a curmudgeon. Was that really necessary? S1 through S4 Bill was a little tactless/thoughtless sometimes, and not emotionally open, but S5 and S6 Bill have been almost unbearably awful. I’ll talk more about this later, but the slight role he played here in this particular plot doesn’t even make sense for his character. He lived in the city for the majority of his life.
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I’ll forgive this particular folly if the writers take it in an interesting direction—like Bill being phone-shy (because, for example, he relies a lot on body language/facial expression to have a conversation and gets super awkward on the phone, so he prefers wires due to it giving him the ability to think through what he needs to say and write it down to send). Otherwise it just comes off as more of the same with regards to the figgy pudding plot in the Christmas film: he’s just there to laugh at.
I’m worried that that’ll be the new norm, though. Incoming horrible joke: Bill shouting loudly into the telephone like he’s never used one before. (UGH. Just typing that gave me hives.)
Plot #4: Rosemary Plays Cupid
Now this plot was fun. It was also quiet, kind of muted, not really long, and definitely not meaty. But it served its purpose well. It also gave us some seriously awkward stuff to cringe over that wasn’t Bill’s character. Thank goodness!
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So the gist of it is pretty simple: Rosemary decides that Faith and Carson have good teamworking skills, so she ambus—I mean, uh…sets them up! At her house, for dinner! Where everything ends up being awkward and weird, and all Faith and Carson talk about are…beans.
That’s right.
Beans.
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Faith eats lots of beans because she can’t cook worth anything, and Carson…does not consume beans. Because they make him gassy. Great dinner conversation!  
Afterward, Faith and Carson start to bond a little over how awkward the dinner was (I mean, nothing brings a couple together like complaining about being set up, right?), but Carson gets carried away and says, “Doesn’t she realize how ridiculous that would be?”
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Carson was probably trying to make things not-awkward, but all he did was make things…extremely awkward. The worst part (or best part, if we’re talking about the great acting these two did) was how Faith’s face the entire time is kind of like, “Oh crap, I can imagine it…and it’s not bad at all” and Carson drops that “ridiculous” line right on top of it, hurting Faith’s feelings and making everything between them vaguely awful.
Which we didn’t get too much of in this episode. They literally run into each other in the clinic and it’s awkward, but Carson just seems confused about it, and Faith is the one being avoidant.
Rosemary thinks her entire plan was a disaster, but…
Well, we know she got the ball rolling. ;)
Plot #5: Jesse and Clara
I love Jesse and Clara, and here they get a nice, simple little plotline that feels like it’s getting solved in a reasonable amount of time. They’re also both very cute the whole time.
Jesse purchases some land, which comes as a (pleasant) surprise to Clara. He takes her around pointing out where he’d like different buildings to go, and uses the pronoun ‘our’ to describe the barn. When Clara brings it up (“Our barn?”) Jesse responds in the affirmative (“Of course…our barn.”).
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Unfortunately Clara thinks this is the beginning of a marriage proposal, but…it’s not. Jesse says it’ll happen eventually, but he wants to be more stable. Clara accepts this, but…it bothers her, so she talks to Abigail about it. Abigail’s advice is mostly to just…talk to Jesse about it, so Clara makes the effort, and Jesse pretty much just repeats himself: he wants to be in a better financial state.
Clara isn’t persuaded by this, because Jesse has a good job already, and gets kind of short/snippy with him. Jesse ends up coming forward and confessing that when he was younger he stole from a general store with some friends and he’s still paying the man back (the parts that his friends got away with).
All is forgiven when he admits that he wants to start with a clean slate: the real reason he hasn’t proposed yet. He doesn’t want something like that marring the beginning of their marriage together. He wants to prove that he’s a better man by making things right where he should, first.
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All in all, a pretty good plot. Reasonable. Clara’s disappointment in not getting a proposal was more than understandable. They’ve been courting a long time, so I don’t blame her for thinking it had finally arrived only for it to just be generalized talk.
That said, this could have definitely been a bigger plot? So I’m surprised they left it as just this little thing. Him sending away $10/month could come across as a lot of things if anyone saw him doing it. But props to keeping this storyline simple! The only thing I think I would change is…maybe having Jesse talk to someone else in town he trusts (could have been just about anyone; if Dottie were around I’d probably suggest her, but Lee or Bill would be a good choice, too) to get the incentive to confess the truth to Clara. Even just a small scene where he looks thoughtful, maybe talks to himself a little in that ‘do I tell her’ ‘do I not’ way and then decisively puts down his tools and walks toward town would have gone a long way into making it seem like he was telling her for more reasons than because she’s being snippy and short with him.
Overall, though, a sweet and enjoyable plot. Jesse calling Clara m’dear was so cute it nearly killed me instantly.
Plot #6: The Saloon Closes
This was the meatiest plot of the episode by far, and with good reason: Tom Trevoy’s mother took ill (in a long-term sense), so he and his wife moved to Union City, but he keeps traveling back to Hope Valley to oversee his saloon, but the commute is awful and he isn’t with his family as much as he’d like, so…he decides to sell.
It’s an incredibly profitable business—or at least it has the potential to be, being the only saloon in town, as Henry mentions to Lee—so the fact that it’s going up for sale is a Pretty Big Deal.
Or at least, it is to Bill and Henry.
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The short of it is that they both have half the funds ($4,500) and try to get Lee to cough up the other half for a partnership. Lee tells both of them he’ll have to discuss it with Rosemary first. Rosemary (more or less) talks both men into making this venture about her, because of course doing so will get them her approval (even though it’s clear neither of them really want to do these things for her). In the end, she and Lee are split about who they should choose. Rosemary thinks Bill is the safer investment; Lee would like to trust Henry. They disagree so thoroughly that they decide together to not partner with either of them, which leaves Bill and Henry to, uh, partner with one another. They hate the idea but end up talking about it. Unfortunately, they get their money together too late; Tom sells the bar for $1,000 over asking price to an out of town buyer.
How did the out of town buyer even find out about it in less than two days? Who knows.
Suspension of disbelief? Sure, okay. I can buy it easily enough.
Anyway, overall this plot is pretty good. Bill and Henry both make great points about one another: Bill might do the books for the café (we’ve seen him doing this), but he doesn’t oversee daily operations; he’s more or less a silent partner. Henry is definitely a businessman, but he’s had past issues with honesty and, uh, money.
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They’re both risks for very different reasons.
But also, they don’t like each other, so it makes sense that they’d make these kinds of digs at each other in order to try and get the upper hand.
I think my favorite part about this plot was at the end when they were working together to try and buy the saloon. I wish we could have gotten that conversation on-screen, though; it would have been great. I’m sure it was mostly about the fact that the investment is pretty sound, they almost can’t lose with it, and do they really want to wait and let someone else buy it? At least if they own it, they can control what happens/how the space is used/et cetera.
Henry and Bill disagree on most things, but neither of them is stupid.
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Henry doesn’t know enough about that type of business to be of much use actually doing the physical work involved in keeping it up and running, but he could be great at striking deals and keeping track of profits/loss. Bill knows enough about balancing books to see if Henry’s up to no good, but he’s also a very hands-on kind of guy, so I feel like he could do all right with the ground level kinds of things.
Still, I feel like a partnership between them would go belly-up pretty fast. They just don’t get along in other capacities enough to…make it work long-term, I think.
It’s definitely for the best that someone else bought it up.
But hey, for a second we were able to see Bill and Henry getting along!
Miscellaneous Thoughts:
Molly…had a hair appointment…in…Benson Hills… What? These women are not rich. That was a bad line. Literally anything else could have sufficed. She went to Benson Hills to get a pretty fabric she couldn’t get in town, for example. Or she went there to drop off donations for a church drive. There are so many other things they could have picked that wouldn’t seem ridiculous (not to mention unbelievably shallow in this time period).
Tom…HAS A WIFE???? We’re probably meant to think she’s been around from the beginning, but now it makes me sad she wasn’t around… The saloon owner’s wife could have been a really fun role for somebody to play!
Now, I promised I’d get back to it, so here we go: Bill was easily the worst part about this episode, and the sad thing is, like I’ve said before, he’s my favorite (regular) character! I don’t know why they decided to suddenly swerve Bill into old grumpy-gus curmudgeon territory, but so far there’s been no reason for it; it makes him hard to like and undoes all the character development he went through in the first four seasons. I don’t want to spit out a 3,000-word essay rant about why I hate this, but I figure it deserves a serious mention here, too. I hope this series isn’t going in the direction of making Bill the go-to laugh-at character. That isn’t good humor writing. It’s cheap and lazy. Please don’t let me down, writers.
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Also, can I just say how cringey the weird “charming” parts were with Bill in them? You know what I’m talking about. These parts. UGH. They were terrible and weird. I’m not sure what was going on there; it almost feels like bad stage direction. Bill hasn’t done that since Season 2, and even then it was part of a persona he eventually ended up shedding (along with his job as a Mountie). Why bring it back now? It, too, undoes character development. I’ll be keeping a close eye on this.
There were so many random children…I’ve never seen before. I just wanted to point it out.
Why does only Abigail get the ‘modern’ looking telephone?
Baby Jack was cuter in this episode than in most of the stills, and Elizabeth’s nightgown was lovely.
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Florence’s expressions aimed at Elizabeth for not leaving fast enough? Priceless. I mean, that’s a good spot of humor there. Nobody is mocking Elizabeth for having feelings, but we can have a good little chuckle at it.
Lee getting busted pretending to take a phone call was so cringey but mostly in a decent way? I don’t think Bill is so tactless he wouldn’t realize what Lee was doing (see my rant about Bill above) but it’s a situation we can all probably relate to a little bit. Nobody likes getting busted for practicing! A better way of doing this scene would be for Bill to look concerned, or amused? Like, “Who are you talking to?” or, “Talking to yourself?” to start out, with no condescension in his tone of voice. But…that’s just me.
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Overall Thoughts:
This was a good first regular episode to the season. It definitely gives me hope about the episodes to come! Bring on the good content!
5 notes · View notes
loverontheleft · 6 years ago
Text
Ready to Leap (8.1)
AU with B as a band teacher and reader as an English teacher. Fluff and smut anticipated. Chapters 1-7 can be found on my Masterlist.
Brendon x reader. Warnings: language, sexual implications, and content.
NOTE: THIS IS STILL FROM BRENDON’S POV. I’m still using Y/n when Brendon’s referring to the reader because it seems easiest, but the second person “you” in this chapter is our boy.
Word count: 4K in this part. Chapter 8.2 linked at bottom.
If you stopped reading after 7.1, you’re missing a part! Go read 7.2 here.
-||-
She’s writhing under you, actually begging for your dick in her and her pussy is so tight and wet around your two fingers that you can hardly focus on your own pressing ha concern at hand. Did you pack condoms? You’re pretty sure you did. You’ve been fantasizing about this night with her since she first said she wanted to be in your bed. You did pack them, didn’t you?
It doesn’t matter though. The fire alarm is so sudden and loud that she almost rolls off the bed, and because of how she’s been clutching you desperately, you almost go with her.
“An emergency has been detected in the building. Please evacuate using the safest emergency exit...An emergency has been detected in the building. Please evacuate using the safest emergency exit...An emergency has been detected in the building. Please evacuate using the safest emergency exit...” The droning electronic voice is blaring almost louder than the alarm.
“Fuck,” you hiss, rolling off of her. “Okay, go get dressed and come back here quickly; we’ll go downstairs together.” She nods, scrambling off of the bed for her room and is back remarkably quickly in a pair of tight jeans you’ve never seen before and a solid green fitted tee. You’ve slipped your sneakers on and she comes over to fix your hair, while you gently wipe under her eyes where her mascara has smudged. “Ready? We both look like we’ve been taking a nap, right?”
“Yep. A really fun nap. Let’s evacuate using the safest emergency exit,” she says sulkily and you wrap your arm around her and leave the room. “I’m just saying, if this is real and we die in the stairwell, I’m going to be pissed. I would have rather died getting fucked by you.” You laugh and kiss the top of her head.
“You know this isn’t real.”
“That almost makes it worse,” she whines, looking up at you with needy eyes.
“I know honey. I know.” All is the students and parents are either still out at dinner or they chose to believe this alarm was fake; none of them are out here. You reach in your jeans pocket, the ones you pulled on in a rush, and are pleased to find your wallet. You look over and she’s got her phone. “We still have two and a half hours before the kids have to be back. Why don’t we ditch this place and you call us a Lyft and we’ll go get dinner?”
She smiles up at you, slipping a hand into yours. “That sounds really nice. Let’s do that.”
-||-
The Lyft pulls up and you both climb in. You’ve put in an address to your favorite restaurant in the area and she’s curled up under your arm and god, this just feels so natural. Your driver is pleasant enough, a young college-aged guy who quickly picks up on your desire to be alone. He turns on his music to something slow and vaguely seductive and gives you a thumbs up in the rearview mirror. You smile appreciatively; the kid is earning that 5-star rating.
He drops you off at the curb and you hope he’s the one to pick you up when you’re done at dinner. Her eyes light up and she turns to you. “I fucking love Mexican food.” You snake an arm around her waist and lead her inside.
“And this is really fucking good Mexican food.”
The two of you must be giving off hardcore couple vibes because the hostess gives you a curved booth in the back corner. Once you’re seated, she slides to be right against your side and you slip a hand over her thigh almost possessively. She looks up at you happily. “This is almost like a real date.”
You laugh and correct her. “This is a real date.” You dip your head down and she tips her head up to meet your mouth for a gentle kiss. As you part, you can see your waiter approaching. Excellent timing.
You order drinks and look down at her inquisitively. “Queso?” And she looks at you like it’s not even a question. You laugh and add that to the order and your waiter promises he’ll be right back with everything. She slips out to go to the bathroom so she can wash her hands, which is probably a good idea, all things considered. You’ll go when she’s back.
You’re laughing and feeding each other chips and you notice she’s got the tiniest bit of queso on the side of her mouth. When she isn’t looking, you swipe some cheese off of a chip. “Com’mere honey, you’ve got some queso- let me just-“ and as she turns to you, you carefully wipe more across her lips. She laughs, swatting at you playfully. “No no, I got it!” You insist as you kiss her and she presses closer. You pull away a little breathlessly. “Yeah, I think I got it.”
“That’s such a coincidence because you’ve got some on your face now too,” she grins and pulls you back in for more.
-||-
When dinner is over, you pay the bill and she pulls up Lyft. Looking over her shoulder, you comment, “can we request drivers on that thing? I liked that guy we had on the way here.”
She grins up at you. “Oh my little hermit. You can’t request drivers. Why did you like him? He was kinda quiet.” Her tone isn’t accusing, just curious.
“One, don’t make fun of your elders.” You touch the tip of your finger to her nose teasingly. “Two, he put on sexy music and gave me a thumbs up. I bet he’d let us make out.”
She arches an eyebrow as she submits the Lyft request. “You know we’re going back to a hotel, right? Where we have a room? To ourselves?”
You’re outside now and you’re wrapping your arms around her waist from behind. “Yeahhhhhhhh but I don’t wanna wait.”
She twists in your arms to kiss you. “Me either. Life is really hard, isn’t it?” You nod, pouting. A car pulls up and she pats your arm. “This is us. Let’s go Urie.” You release her and move around her to open the car door. “Thank you.” She smiles up at you and holds out her hand for you to join her.
You’re not so lucky this time; your driver is enthusiastic and chattery and could probably talk to a brick wall. Your face doesn’t betray what you’re feeling, but Milton must be reading your mind because she’s giggling into your arm and squeezing your hand. “Patience, love.” She whispers and you nod. If you were with literally anyone else, you’d be fine with this situation. But she’s not just anyone.
There’s not a crowd of people outside and the hotel appears to be intact. “We made the right choice, getting food,” you comment and she nods, taking your hand again.
“How much longer til we get scores?” She looks up at you curiously and you smile. “What?”
“Nothing. You just said ‘we.’ It made me happy.” You lead her into the elevator and pull her against you. “You care about the thing I love and it just makes me happy. Watching you today at lunch, you weren’t just going through the motions. You care like I care. It’s just one more thing that makes this feel so right.” She goes up on her toes to kiss you.
“It does feel right.” You’re still kissing her, mouths sliding open against each other, your hands trailing down her back to grab her ass and pull her against your stirring erection when the doors open. There’s a clearing of a throat and you both freeze.
Fuck. Fuck. Don’t be a student. Oh fuck. Don’t be a parent. Which would be worse? Fuck. Fucking fuck.
She drops back to her feet and slowly turns. Her body slackens in relief and yours does too. It’s a stranger. And fortunately, this is your floor - though you’d probably get off even if it’s wasn’t - so you grab her hand and pull her off with a quick “sorry!” and you both scurry down the hall, giggling like teenagers. You stop outside your door and are fumbling with your wallet to get the key out when she presses you against the wall and kisses you hard. “Honey, gonna let us get inside?” You gasp against her lips. She nods, slipping the key from your fingers and unlocking the door. She’s hitching a leg around your waist and you support her with one arm and you reach behind you to pull the door lever down. It gives and you walk backward, pulling her other leg up and teasing her mouth open for your tongue.
She pulls back, eyes heavy and chest heaving. “God, Urie, take me back to bed.”
You’ve managed to get her onto the bed and you’re pulling your shirts off over your heads you look down - “fuck Y/n, I forgot about this.” You run your hands over her breasts, reveling in the feel of her warm skin under the black lace.
“You forgot? I’m hurt Urie,” you tease, arching into his touch.
“Don’t worry, I’ll remember this forever,” you assure her, slipping a hand under her to unsnap it when she stops you.
“It opens in the front.”
“Oh fuck yes,” you murmur, and she reaches down to press the cups together, causing the center to crease and you find the snap. Her breasts spill out for you and she wriggles out of the straps as you attach your lips to one of her nipples, suckling gently. She whines softly, holding your head in one hand while the other moves down between your bodies so she can cup your erection through your jeans. “Feel how hard you get me?” Your breath is hot against her skin and she’s moaning and trying to get her hand down your pants. “Hang on, honey, I’ll take them off,” you promise, and it’s right when you’ve got your pants past your thighs and she’s stroking with enthusiasm that your phone rings.
“Motherfucker,” she groans, releasing your dick and falling back against the bed.
“No, fuck, no,” you practically cry, and she fumbles around the bed for your phone before tossing it to you. Scores are being emailed so any call this late is probably not good. Ignoring it is not an option. You take a deep breath and steady your voice. “Hello?” You shift back against the pillows and she curls into your side. “Uh huh. Yeah.” A pause. “Oh that’s terrible - No, I understand.” You look down at her and she kisses your chest. “Okay. Will you still be - or do I need to - okay.” She looks concerned and you smooth a hand over her hair. “Okay. Thank you. Yes, you too.” You hang up. “Well, fuck.” She props herself up on her forearm and looks at you. “There was an electrical fire in the auditorium where they were planning on doing the musicality evaluations tomorrow. No one is hurt but they’re closing the school tomorrow and probably Monday to check it over.”
She sighs. “At least no one got hurt?” You nod and fall back against the pillows, thinking.
“We could go home tonight. But we’d obviously still pay for the hotel. So it just makes sense to leave tomorrow morning, right?”
She nods. “Absolutely. Our driver wasn’t planning on driving back tonight. We can sleep in, have breakfast here, and then roll for home.” You nod too.
“They’re still sending out scores in about an hour, so once the kids are back, we’ll discuss scores and let them know they get to sleep in.”
She snuggles down against you and you wrap your arm around her. “It’ll be a reward for doing so well today,” she says encouragingly and you smile.
“That’s a good way to look at it.” She yawns a little and closes her eyes. “You sleepy, baby?” You ask, running your fingers through her hair. She nods lazily and opens her eyes to look up at you.
“Honey and baby, what on earth did I do to earn both?”
You smile. “You gave me one hell of a blow job earlier, and I really like you. You can go to sleep you know, I’ll wake you up when the scores are here.”
“But you wanna play,” she mumbles and you laugh.
“Honey, I’m always going to want to play with you. But you’re tired and I’m just as content to snuggle up with you and hold you while you sleep.”
“That sounds nice. You should get naked though.” She tells you, wiggling out of her own jeans and you push yours down the rest of the way, kicking them off. Once you’re both naked, you take her by the hips and pull her back flush against you. “Wake me up when scores are in,” she reminds you with one last yawn and you kiss the back of her neck.
-||-
“Milton, baby, wake up.” You’re kissing the back of her neck again and applying slight pressure with your fingertips to her waist, trying to rouse her gently despite your excitement. Her eyes flutter open and she turns to look at you, smiling sleepily.
“Hi.” Fuck she’s cute.
“Hi honey. Scores are in!” Her eyes snap open and she’s wide awake.
“Tell me tell me tell me.” She’s bouncing with enthusiasm and you inhale sharply, placing both hands on her shoulders to keep her down.
“Milton, I love that you’re excited but I need you to not do that right now when you’re naked. It is very distracting.”
She smirks. “Yes Mr. Urie. Now tell me tell me tell me!”
You stall, purposefully building the tension. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather wait until we’re with the band? To be surprised?”
She pouts playfully and fuck you need her not to do that either and she reminds you - “remember what happened last time we were surprised and excited with this show?”
“Fair enough. Let’s see.” You open the email, holding your breath. You both scan through the attached sheets before turning to look at each other.
“Holy fuck,” you say simultaneously. And then she’s pouncing on you, kissing you furiously as though you’re her only source of air and you can’t get enough of her; you want to live and die and solely exist in this moment.
When you finally break apart, lips swollen and chests heaving, you cup her face in one hand and she leans into it, trying to catch her breath. “We need to go tell the kids,” you murmur, and she nods, kissing your palm and rolling off the bed, looking for her clothes. “But we should probably both tidy up a little bit. We both look...well. They’ll know.” You stand side by side in the bathroom mirror, attempting to look professional. She's smoothed her back into a sleek bun and is splashing cold water on her face to reduce redness and swelling in her lips, while you comb through your hair and mimic her water trick since it seems to work.
She catches your eye in the mirror and grins. “We’re really cute.” You can’t help but smile and you wrap your arms around her, kissing the top of her head.
“Yes. We are.” You both stay there for a moment, just holding each other, relishing the moment. “Okay. Ready?” She nods and once you’re downstairs in the conference room, you send the message through the band Remind that scores are in and they should report to the conference room. You might be imagining it, but you think you hear doors opening and closing and feet flying down the hall. You wince a little, hoping they don’t disturb other guests if your hearing is accurate.
They come pouring into the room en masse, faces shining with hope and excitement. The parents are a bit slower, but the room slowly fills and everyone is present. You look around, trying to keep a serious face.
“In visual performance, out of 200 possible points, we received 195.” There’s a gasp of glee. “We were marked down on stamina and recovery, they want to see you really push to Dies Irae and not look like you just ran a marathon basically.” They nod, and a few of them are taking notes. “In musical performance, out of 200 possible points, we received 192.” Their eyes are wide. “They want more range and variety in musical skill, so really show off in those solos guys. You earned them, now flaunt it. They also want more contrast in your pianissimos and fortissimos. Everyone should be at their softest or loudest; don’t rely on your section-mates to accommodate you.” You sigh, running a hand through your hair. “Finally, in overall effect, out of 400 points, we received 392.” Marissa bursts into happy tears in one of the front tables, covering her face. Y/n goes to her and places a hand on her back. “They want more nuances, so again, the contrast and the little details, and better pacing. All of this is doable. More than doable. And for those you who haven��t been doing the math as I go, that’s a total of 779 out of 800. And it’s a Superior rating.” You walk over and shake Marissa’s trembling hand. “Well done Madame Drum Major. Well done all of you.” The room explodes and Y/n smiles softly at you.
“Congrats,” she mouths and you grin.
“And I have other news everyone - it’s technically bad but it works in your favor.” You explain the situation with the electrical fire and how they won’t be performing tomorrow, but they do get to sleep in and eat breakfast here before heading home. Everyone looks happy, especially the parents. “Now, lights still have to be out at 11pm,” you remind them, “and all of the usual rules apply.”
-||-
You’re both sitting back in bed, arms around each other, just reveling in the moment. “We should play a game.” She looks up at you with bright eyes.
You laugh. “Oh yeah? What kind of game?” She shrugs and you tickle her side lightly. “Excellent contribution, Milton. A+ work there,” you tease and she pouts. “I’m sorry. Why don’t you tell me what you want to happen as a result of said game and we’ll figure out one that achieves it?”
She’s grinning now. “I want embarrassing stories and kisses.”
“We don’t have to play a game for you to get either of those,” you tell her, laughing a little. “I’m an open book, remember?”
“Mmmmm,” she agrees, running a finger down your chest. “What’s the most embarrassing thing you did as a child? That you remember?”
You tip your head back to think. “Oh! Oh god,” you laugh harder. “Okay so. We used to do breakfast for dinner on Tuesday nights with my grandparents. And I had this amazing piece of turkey sausage. So good. And I’m just, you know, trying to get all of the juices out of it like one does.” She’s laughing behind her hands. “And my grandma asks, Brendon, what are you doing? So I tell her loudly that I am in fact sucking on my sausage. My older brother then does a spit take of orange juice all over my grandfather.” You both laugh for a minute and you look over at her. “What about you?”
She grins. “I’ll let you choose. Age 5 or age 10?” You pause to think before deciding on 5. “Okay so. When I was in kindergarten, it was Valentine’s Day. And this boy I had a crush on - shut up” she must see the grin on your face - “was wearing red pants so I walked up to him and was like, hey my underwear matches your pants and he was like really? And I said yes, wanna see? And he said yes so I dropped my pants on the playground.” You’re wiping tears from laughter and she’s hiding her face, clearly embarrassed.
“That’s incredible. Oh my god. That’s incredible.” She gives in and is laughing too before trying to catch her breath.
“Okay. I want to hear about your first kiss.”
“It was you.” Her eyes widen ever so slightly and you start laughing. “Oh my god I’m kidding. I was 14 and her name was Cherry.” She blinks at you. “I’m not kidding this time. Her name was Cherry and it was on a dare and she put her tongue in my mouth and it was...fine.” Your tone says ‘fine’ is a generous way of putting it. You look at her. “And yours?”
“Oh god. So embarrassing.” You lean in and kiss her softly, lips caressing hers and she moans a little, pressing forward and whining when you pull away. “It definitely wasn’t like that,” she laughs. “It was in High School Musical 3,” and you can’t help the snort of laughter. “I know. And it wasn’t even during the really sweet Right Here, Right Now. It was during I Want It All.” Her face sours a little and you pull her close. “And he just sort of shoved his tongue in my mouth and pushed me down in the couch.” Your jaw tightens and she reaches out to stroke your face. “No, it’s okay. He broke up with me like two weeks later.”
You feel the shock on your face. “How is that okay?!”
“Because I’m fine now. So it doesn’t really matter in the end.” You lean over and kiss her again and she melts into your embrace. “So. More embarrassing stories.” She pulls back, grinning wickedly. “Tell me about the first time you went down on a girl.”
You laugh, running a hand over your face. “God, it was so...I don’t even know. I was enthusiastic, that’s for sure. I can’t brag on my technique, but I was enthusiastic. She was kind. She laughed, but because of how...yeah. I was. She wasn’t mean about it.” She grins.
“Well, I wanna send her a thank you note for not discouraging you.” She nudges you playfully and you smirk, pulling her on top of you.
“And just think, you haven’t even gotten my full attention. Fuck, I love pussy. Around my fingers, on my tongue, my dick, my face...fuck. Just love it. When I first tasted you, you had my dick in your mouth so I was verrrrrrry distracted.” She raises her eyebrow and bites her lip and fuck you want to bite it for her - “your turn. First blow job?”
“I feel like it was the same as yours. I was so enthusiastic and so...lacking in refined technique. He actually grabbed me by the hair and was moving my mouth for me. Which, looking back, was not cool.” She pauses, thinking. “It was my junior year of high school after a football game, actually. My boyfriend wasn’t in band or on the football team but came to all of the games and we drove ourselves to home games, so yeah we were in my car making out and he just sort of...pushed my head down. I didn’t mind exactly - I mean. I wanted to make him feel good. I just. I don’t know.” You frown at her.
“That’s fucked up. You know that right?” She shrugs and you bend your head to meet her eyes. “That’s not okay that he did that. I don’t ever want to make you feel like that. That’s bullshit and I want you to call me on my bullshit, okay?” She nods and you smile. “Good. That’s what couples do.” She meets your eyes in surprise and you grin. “You are my girlfriend now, aren't you? I realize now I shouldn’t have assumed and I probably should have asked but, you are my girlfriend, right?”
She beams up at you and nods. “You’re my boyfriend.” And you can't stop smiling as you go to kiss her again.
“You’re damn right I am.”
Chapter 8 Part 2
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yallreddieforthis · 7 years ago
Text
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Richie
Fandom: It (2017)
Pairing: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Rating: T (for language)
Words: 2.7k
Pre-relationship. Movie canon-compliant but not book. Also posted on AO3
The Greater Fool Series: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 4.5 (NSFW) | Part 5
It seems impossible that a person can be both that shitty and the shit at the same time but like...it’s Richie. And since Richie doesn’t give a single fuck about following any kind of rules, Eddie guesses the ones that govern Eddie’s emotions don’t apply to him either. Greaaaat.
Sometimes Eddie can't believe it's Richie.
Maybe even most of the time, like when everything out of his mouth is your mom and my wang and it's just words, it's not even funny, and Eddie can only tune him out or try to talk over him. Richie cannot shut the fuck up for one goddamn second. And it's not even like Eddie can pin it to anything specific—like, oh, Richie talks more when he's angry or nervous or excited—because he does it when he's every one of those things and any other thing besides. The tone may change—the subject matter even—but the talking. Never. Stops.
Eddie doesn’t really consider himself a beacon of cultural knowledge, but he does own a TV. So he at least has a vague idea of what a British person might sound like, which is more than he can say for Richie. Richie also owns a TV, and yet his British Guy impression is so god-awful that Eddie has to assume he’s basing it on someone’s description of a fever dream they once had about a London street urchin from the eighteen hundreds. This only applies to the actual words though, not the pronunciation—which is pretty much indistinguishable from just Richie being Richie—and that’s across the board for all the voices, not just the British Guy. For someone who loves imitating other people as much as Richie does, it’s unbelievable how remarkably all his Guys sound like they’re from Derry, Maine. Because shouting out mangled phrases he half-remembers from the time he watched Mary Poppins six years ago—in the most American voice imaginable—is still somehow Richie’s interpretation of a British accent.
That isn’t even the worst part of The Voices though. The worst part is that Richie seems to have a sixth sense that alerts him to the exact moment at which it would most infuriate Eddie for him to do one, and invariably it’s as if a little light goes off in the least-developed part of his brain that says Time To Be Italian! (or Southern, or German—he has a constantly expanding, but not noticeably improving, repertoire) and it’s like he just has to do it right then. Sometimes it makes Eddie want to scream at him. Sometimes Eddie does scream at him. But screaming makes no difference; Eddie knows perfectly well that Richie will absolutely do it again the second the urge strikes him, no matter how inappropriate the timing or what Eddie does in reaction.
He's fucking gross too. Not necessarily grosser than the rest of them, but he certainly subscribes to the teenage boy brand of hygiene that dictates that he only really has to shower when Eddie finally shoves him away with a you smell like a sweaty nutsack. Of course then Richie inches closer and it's all how would you know, huh? and Eddie has to be like because I have nuts too, dipshit, and if you never wash them you'll—
And then all his warnings about bacteria and fungal infections are drowned out in the your mom and my wang and vague, half-heard rumors Richie repeats about people from school that Eddie knows aren't true, and he's pretty sure Richie doesn't even believe himself. Fuck him and his terrible, nasty-ass jokes.
Some days he thinks Richie purposely doesn't shower specifically so that he can torment Eddie with his unbearable boy stank. Or how he'll like, step in dog shit and just sort of shrug and wipe the sole of his shoe in the grass and then keep going with whatever he was doing like he's not literally tracking shit everywhere. If Eddie were to step in dog shit—which he wouldn't because he watches where he's going like a sane person—it would bring his entire day to a screeching halt. He gets that he's in the minority when it comes to these kinds of things, but he doesn't get why.
And then Richie has the audacity to suggest that Eddie's just as bad as the rest of them—when he says things like you’re convinced your shit doesn't stink, or it’s the smell of your own breath wafting back in your face—like he thinks Eddie is kind of gross too. Which shouldn't bother him, but it does. Somewhere very, very deep down in his gut he has a nagging suspicion as to why that might possibly be, but he's hell-bent on ignoring it at least until the inevitable destruction of the planet Earth, if not even longer. And that’s going like...pretty well for him. Reasonably well. Maybe a little less well than it used to be, but he's almost fourteen now and he thinks he should probably have a solid handle on the whole thing within the next couple of years.
But even if Richie wasn't either of those things—annoying, disgusting—there's nothing really exceptional that he is. It's not like he's a genius; the gigantic, goofy glasses make him look smarter than he actually is, and he gives as few shits about school as he does about anything else. Eddie is sure that Mrs. Tozier has never been to a parent-teacher conference where she didn’t hear the phrase if he only applied himself, and he’s equally sure that every one of the teachers who said it knew that they were wasting their breath. If Mrs. Tozier—or anyone else—stood even the slightest chance of motivating Richie to care about pre-algebra, there would have been upward mobility in his GPA long before now. Eddie has to assume he does at least some homework—if for no other reason than because he hasn’t been held back yet—but as far as he can tell, Richie bent over a textbook at home is a sight as yet unwitnessed by mankind.
Richie’s not athletic either—by any definition of the word—at least not until they decide to make Competitive Talking an Olympic sport. He’s really good on his bike, but that’s a skill he developed out of practicality because the alternative is being stuck walking all over Derry, and it’s not like being able to ride a bike is something to brag about because even Eddie can do that. But Richie’s not a fast runner. He can’t do a push-up unless it’s the kind that only count as push-ups when girls do them, knees on the ground. He can’t even throw a spitball into a trash can from three feet away (his performance in the Rock War against Bowers and his goons was a crazy, adrenaline-fueled exception)—and like, okay, the bad aim can probably be chalked up to his horrendous eyesight, but even beyond that there’s this general, overall lack of coordination. Eddie has what amounts to a universal pass that effectively excuses him from participating in PE for his entire school career, so he’s never been physically present for what goes down on the yard, but he can pretty much piece it together from the scrapes and bruises all over Richie’s arms and legs. It doesn’t matter what unit they’re on—dodgeball, baseball, soccer, tetherball—Richie plays only one position: target.
He doesn’t fare any better in the kind of extracurriculars that teachers and parents care about, like music. Richie is an aggressively bad singer—a fact Eddie is forcibly reminded of every time anyone has a birthday because Richie always makes a point of sandwiching Eddie between himself and someone who won’t run away (usually the birthday kid’s mom) while he belts out an eardrum-shattering rendition of Happy Birthday at the top of his lungs. Richie seems to interpret birthday party invitations as personal challenges for him to sing louder and worse, challenges he has so far risen to spectacularly on every occasion. The song gets longer each time too, because he never forgets to include Frankenstein on channel nine and the big fat lady on channel eighty and whatever new, ruder verses he’s scrounged up out of nowhere between the last birthday party and this one. Richie’s singing is actually one of the most obnoxious things about him, in Eddie’s opinion, which is really saying something.
He is so unrestrainedly, deliberately awful that Eddie could honestly imagine some idiot adult who doesn’t know Richie listening to him screech the chorus of Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go over and over in Eddie’s ear (the newest sabotage tactic he’s been deploying at the arcade to try to make Eddie lose at Street Fighter) and thinking wow, maybe that kid actually has a beautiful singing voice but doesn’t want anyone to know because he’s worried people will make fun of him. They would be wrong, of course, because even when he’s not actively trying to suck, Richie can’t sing for shit. Eddie doesn’t have to know anything about music to be able to tell that Richie’s real singing voice—the one he almost never uses—is flat and off-key. And forget about instruments because whenever someone makes the mistake of letting him get his hands on one, he immediately tries to shove it down his pants—or worse, Eddie’s pants—and pretend it’s a wang.
There’s art—and Eddie has noticed that being a really good artist can absolve someone of the sin of sucking at everything else. Bill, for example, is talented enough with watercolor pencils that if he drew people’s attention to his sketches, he could probably get away with not knowing how to write a half-decent thesis statement or multiply fractions (even though Bill does know how to do those things) because people would just affix the tortured artist label to him and stop giving him shit about the stutter. And Richie actually draws a lot—probably as much as Bill if it’s purely a question of quantity over quality—it’s just that the only things he seems to be interested in drawing are dicks, and the places he chooses to draw them are all technically the property of the Derry Public School District. Also, his fine motor skills are at least as bad as his gross ones, because his handwriting looks the way his singing voice sounds, and the dicks he draws make Eddie question if Richie has ever even looked in his own pants before.
And yet, despite all of the incontrovertible evidence that Richie is actually a walking disaster, there are other times that Eddie can't believe it’s not Richie to everyone else. Or even like anyone else.
It could be argued that it’s almost inevitable due to the sheer volume of jokes he tells, but every so often Richie will get one absolutely, unassailably right. His timing, his word choice—the heavens open, the planets align, and suddenly everybody around him is laughing so hard they can't breathe, Eddie included. His eyes usually end up watering when it happens, but he squints through them to look at Richie because in those moments, Richie glows like nothing else. He tries to act like it isn’t a big deal that everyone is pissing themselves from whateverthefuck he just blurted out of his incessantly flapping mouth hole, but Eddie can tell how thrilled he is when people actually find him funny. It's happening more and more often nowadays, enough so that Eddie sometimes wonders if maybe Richie is wasting his time at school after all. And who needs sports or music or art anyway?
And he could be a whole lot worse about Eddie’s germ thing if he wanted to be, like how some people give him hell about the pills and the inhaler and the hand washing. Richie doesn’t have detergent hands but he sure as shit will mouth off to anybody who gives Eddie a hard time about his. He can’t say Richie doesn’t at least try to look out for him, in his own weird way. Or Bill, or Stan, or Mike, or any of them. It causes more trouble than it’s worth more often than not, especially because Richie doesn’t have any discernable muscle with which to back up his shit-talking, so it probably would honestly be better if he would just like...not. But Eddie can’t really help appreciating it all the same.
But the hardest thing to ignore about Richie—and Eddie wouldn’t admit this to anyone, even under threat of death by clown—is that his memories of what Richie did for him over the summer have become a kind of personal, private shield against fear. They all try to avoid thinking about It as much as they reasonably can (which isn’t much; it’s not like you just go and forget about the time you and all your friends climbed down a haunted well so you could almost get eaten by a demon clown in the sewers), but Eddie’s positive he isn’t the only one who lies awake at night when the sound of his own pounding heartbeat is making him too nauseous to sleep.
The lights are off because it’s almost worse when they’re on. Maybe if he can’t see It coming, it’ll just eat him real fast and get it over with before he even knows what hit him. Still, he doesn’t want to die—instantly is preferable to slowly, but even better is not at all. So he’s developed a set of dozens of little rules for himself to follow—like no turning over, no breathing too deeply, no limbs outside the covers, no long, slow blinks (quick ones are okay; otherwise it’s eyes all the way closed or all the way open). Realistically he knows that not a single one of these rules means jack shit to anyone outside his own brain, but somehow no-ing himself into what amounts to a vegetative state eventually bores him to sleep. Okay, usually it does. More like occasionally. Actually it’s only worked like twice, but whatever. He’ll take what he can get at this point.
Sometimes Eddie thinks he has it worse than anyone else. Well, maybe not worse than Bill. But the rest of them—he isn’t sure if any of them can really understand exactly how fucking useless he felt down in that god-forsaken lair with his arm in a cast. Bill and Beverly were awesome, Mike was like a goddamn soldier, Stan was great after he’d finished crying and even Ben, who Eddie basically thinks of as the most inoffensive kid on the planet, was tough as balls. And Eddie felt like a worthless piece of shit. He hates his arm for being broken, and he hates his nightmares for always including the broken arm. It’s coming at him—just him—and his arm is hanging limply and there’s not a goddamn thing he can do—
And that’s where Richie comes in. Only when he thinks about Richie bitching Bill out for getting them all into this shit situation while inching toward the mountain of broken toys, Richie grabbing a baseball bat and saying now I’m going to have to kill this fucking clown...only then does the terror that surrounds him all through the night start to ease up.
And then he thinks a little further back about when he fell through the floor and broke his arm in the first place, about how all his friends were crowding him and freaking the fuck out, and Richie just looked at his arm and said he was going to set the break and snapped his bone back into place while Eddie shrieked at him to do not fucking touch me. Just like, grabbed his arm where it was dangling the wrong way and fucking did it.
Sometimes… Sometimes Eddie is positive that if It were to show up in his house on any given night, Richie would immediately come crashing through his bedroom window, swinging a baseball bat. Because somehow Richie would know if It returned, would know It was coming for Eddie, would show up in time. He’d show up and keep his shit together while Eddie couldn’t. He’d probably sometimes miss with the bat, but Eddie kind of suspects that it wouldn’t matter. Richie would stand between Eddie and It and just sort of suck all the scary out of the room with his endless, pointless trash-talking. And when Eddie thinks about it that way, it’s like you know what? Screw John McClane; Richie Tozier is Eddie’s hero.
And then Richie sticks his sweaty armpit in Eddie’s face and goddamn it Eddie can’t believe it’s Richie.
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wellhellotragic · 7 years ago
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36 Questions
Summary: They say all it takes is 36 questions. 36 questions between you and a complete stranger and suddenly you’ll both fall madly in love with each other. 36 agonizingly personal questions that force you to reveal your deepest darkest secrets. Well, that, and 4 minutes of staring into the most devastatingly blue eyes you’ve ever seen.
Rating: Um, mature I guess?
A/N: This was written as a pick-me up for @artistic-writer who had a really awful shitty week. As I’m a procrastinator extraordinaire, it’s now also a very slightly b-day prezzie! I think I missed it by about 2 hours, but technically it’s still today where I am lol. Happy birthday Salem!!!
Thank you @best-left-hook-jones for making this better and for the prompt idea, even if it did come at the dignity of your grad tech!
Also on AO3
                                                 36 Questions
There were many things in life that people could describe Emma Swan as: orphan, foster kid, reformed thief, closed-off, even prickly. But the one thing Emma definitely wasn’t was a coward. She hadn’t back down from Chris Palmer when he’d tried to steal her camera in the ninth grade, and she wouldn’t back down from this either.
“You can always call chicken and take the extra shot.”
Ruby had already been three sheets to the wind when Emma arrived to the White Rabbit after work. Taking a job in the library in the evenings to help pay for bills, also helped give Emma a chance to catch up on her school work during the quiet moments, but it really ate into her social life. Not that she had much of one, but she had a few friends.
The White Rabbit wasn’t anything spectacular by any means. It was an average college dive bar, and a place where people could go to get lost, or really really drunk in most cases. The floor was covered in drink slush and the wallpaper was worn and ripped in places. It smelled stale, and there was always some idiot that would try to hit on her or Ruby.
Luckily, tonight Mary Margaret and David had agreed to tag along. Mary Margaret was already attempting to force water down Ruby’s throat, and David was in protection mode, giving death glares to every man that so much as looked at them.
Having skipped lunch, it only took two drinks for Emma to reach the point of pleasantly buzzed. By that time, Ruby had sobered up enough to function without the use of Mary Margaret to keep her upright. Pleasant conversation had drifted into more mature topics, and then, out of nowhere, the dare had been set.
It had been a long standing tradition in the group. At any point in time, any of them could dare one of the others to do something. They only got one dare per month though, so it wasn’t something to be wasted on a frivolous act. As soon as the words “I dare you” fell from Ruby’s lips, Emma knew she was screwed.
Sure, there was always the chicken option. It meant walking around flapping your arms like a chicken as you clucked for 30 seconds straight. It was a fail safe Belle had built in before she’d left for her foreign exchange program. Either way, humiliation was sure to follow.
“I dare you,” the slurred words paused as her eyes scanned the room, “to kiss that guy over there.”
Emma rolled her eyes, knowing Ruby had probably picked out some chubby co-ed or a frat boy with the IQ of a turtle.
“Wait, which one?” Admittedly, Ruby’s finger wasn’t exactly steady.
“That one. The guy in the black leather jacket.”
Emma’s eyes searched through the crowd of people and, like fate, it was as if the heavens had looked down and parted the masses at that exact moment. There he was; sex and leather. Emma had to force herself to breath. Even without catching his gaze, she could tell he had the most hypnotically blue eyes she’d ever seen before, and his hair was artfully tousled, like he’d just finished fucking someone in the bathroom. She could practically feel his lips on hers already, the burn from his scruff on her cheeks, her neck, her thighs.
It was too good to be true. None of them, Ruby included, ever put forth a dare that didn’t result in total humiliation. Emma watched for a moment, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“Are you in or out?”
The goading was the last push she needed. Throwing back the last of her drink, she stood up, throwing her friend a wink before marching towards tall, dark, and gorgeous. But just as she made it to the end of the bar, the other shoe dropped in the form of a blonde bombshell.
Tinkerbelle Greene. Emma’s only real interaction with Tink was from a photography course she’d taken her sophomore year to avoid the foreign language requirement. The short blonde had been a few years older, and had zero inhibitions. For their end of year projects, each student had to submit three self portraits, something that revealed their true selves. Tink’s had all been nude, something every guy in the course responded to. And now she was sitting next him, vying for the same man she was.
Well crap. It was one thing to accept the dare when he was just some random single guy at the bar. She’d never consider the idea that he might already have a girlfriend, or even worse, a wife. Pausing to take stock of the situation, she let her eyes drift to his left hand in search of a wedding ring. Instead, she only found a black glove.
Emma turned back to Ruby, seriously reconsidering, but when Ruby tucked her arms in and started flapping her makeshift wings, Emma’s resolve returned. Stalking up to a bit like a mad woman, she barely managed to acknowledge the absolute rage radiating from Tink as she gripped the lapels of his coat and wrenched him forward.
His lips were softer than she had imagined they would be, and there was a faint trace of rum lingering, until his lips parted at the swipe of her tongue and she nearly drowned in the flavor. She could feel him everywhere, his tongue exploring her mouth, the way one of his hands found purchase on her waist, only after having grazed her ass. The other hand softly tugged on her hair, forcing her head backwards. He stepped closer so that their was no space lingering between their bodies, and had it not been for the catcalls next to them, Emma might have allowed herself to become lost in him.
“Way to go, Emma!”
Hearing her name from a slightly drunk Mary Margaret was all it took to remind her of where she was, and what she was doing. Pulling back, she felt her cheeks redden at the embarrassment of the entertainment they’d just provided the entire bar. Somewhere behind her she heard a huff she was vaguely certain came from Tink, before the sound of high heels retreating started fading away.
“That was-”
Oh God, and he had an accent.
“A one time thing.”
Without any further explanation, Emma pushed lightly against his chest, just enough to disingange herself from his arms, before spinning on her heel and walking back to the table her friends were still sat at.
She didn’t sit back down though. Something felt off. Emma was suddenly dizzy, like her entire world had be spun and turned upside down. She just needed to get home and sleep it off. To pretend like the guy in the black leather jacket didn’t exist, and to somehow forget that a random stranger has just given her the most passionate kiss of her life.
“Ok guys, it’s been real, but I’m out.”
“Really, you do that,” David started as he waved his finger around, “and then just leave like it was nothing?”
“Pretty much.” Emma shrugged, hoping to play off the way her entire body had turned into a puddle at the thought of doing that again. “Besides, I promised Professor Mills that I’d look after her son for a couple of hours in the morning, before Ruby’s thing.”
The ‘thing’ in question was still a mystery to Emma, but when she’d heard that it paid $100 for less than 2 hours of her time, she was in. Plus it helped her friend out with her senior psychology project. A win-win for Emma.
Or it would have been if Emma hadn’t spent the next two hours laying in her bed, unable to sleep with ocean blue eyes running through her mind. Just before she’d left the bar, she’d turned to give her friends a final wave, but instead he’d caught her eye. He’d been watching her, his fingertips resting against his lips, a question in his eyes she couldn’t answer.
In a fit of desperation, Emma took matters into her own hands, quite literally. She could still feel the press of is growing erection against her, and as the vibrations from her toy worked at her core, it was the image of of him above her, pummeling, whispering naughty things in her ear in his lilting accent that finally pushed her over the edge.
Sleep came easily after that.
Looking after Henry was more exhausting than Emma had expected it to be. Granted, with images of blue eyes haunting her dreams, Emma hadn’t slept nearly enough to compete with the energy level of a two year old, but Henry was extra excitable. As it turned out, Henry had found Regina’s secret stash of monthly chocolate and had devoured an entire box of Happy Hippos right before Emma had arrived, and had been running off of pure sugar right up until he crashed five minutes before Regina got home.
Emma didn’t miss the condescending way Regina wished her a good day as she took in the mess in the living room. The day was off to a bang up start and she still had to go be a guinea pig for Ruby.
The psychology building was housed behind the administrative building. Getting in and navigating the maze was easy enough, having spend plenty of afternoons searching for Ruby to grab her share of the grocery money. The lab that Ruby used was on the 3rd floor of the building, with a small window the overlooked the quad behind it. Ruby had explained that they only used the room for certain experiments as many participants often got distracted by everyone milling around outside, and that would ruin the results. For her experiment though, she wanted something with a slightly less clinical feeling.
In the room was a couch with some blankets and a coffee table with unlit candles. All of the other furniture had been removed, and Emma immediately felt her walls begin to rise.
“So,” Emma let the word linger a bit. “What exactly is it that I’m doing here? Because it looks like whatever you have planned is bordering on unethical, or you know, illegal?”
“Em, it’s not like that. Geeze, get your head of if the gutt- What is that on your shirt?”
Emma looked down to see brown stains near the hemline of her cream sweater.
“Uh, I think it’s chocolate. Or at least I’m praying that it’s chocolate. Henry was covered in the stuff when I got to the professor’s house.”
“Well you need to change because it looks like someone shat on you. Not exactly conducive to the study.”
“And what exactly is your study? You’ve been pretty mum about the whole thing.”
“Change first!”
Emma looked around, in a sarcastic response. She hadn’t brought any spare clothes with her and unless Ruby had something stashed away, there wasn’t another option. Unfortunately, Emma had failed to consider the Ruby Lucas had zero inhibitions and gave no fucks about her body. Quickly stripping herself of her scarlet colored knit top, the dangled the garment on her finger, daring Emma to protest.
She didn’t. One thing Emma had learned over the two years that they had lived together was how to pick her battles, and judging by Ruby’s wolfish grin, she knew a war was coming. With a huff, Emma grabbed the bottom of her sweater and pulled it off of her body, throwing it at Ruby. Taking the offered top, Emma struggled to figure out how to put it on so that she wouldn’t get tangled in the twisted straps in the back.
“Killian Jones reporting for duty as orde-”
Emma squealed and immediately spun around trying to hide herself from the door, keeping the top pressed again her chest, her chest that was nearly matching in color.
“Oh, I- Uh- I’ll just wait out in the hall.”
Emma was certain the noise she heard was him bumping into the doorway as his footstep hurriedly left the room. She was mortified. Scrabbling, she finally managed to get Ruby’s top on just in time for Ruby to call him back into the room.
And there he was. The man from the night before, in the bar. She man she’d fantasized about, standing 3 feet in front of her. She wasn’t sure how much of an eyeful she’d given him, but judging by the shade of his ears and the way he was nervously scratching behind one of them, he’d seen plenty.
Well fuck.
Neither of them spoke, and Emma couldn’t help but notice the vivid blue of his eyes had been replaced, only the barest hint of sapphire remaining.
“Killian, this is Emma Swan, my roommate.”
Killian stepped forward, hesitantly stretching his hand out to her.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, lass.”
His hand was rough wrapped around hers, obviously used to manual labor.
“And Emma, this is Killian. He’s in my women’s study class and volunteered to help me out.”
Emma almost thought she was going to get away from more embarrassment, but Ruby wasn’t finished yet. “Or you may remember him from last night. He’s the one whose throat you had your tongue down.”
Emma let out a sound resembling a strangled cat, and Killian didn’t seem to have been faring much better and he coughed in surprise.
“So, if you’ll both take a seat on the couch, we can get started.”
“Started with what, exactly, lass? You were a bit hazy on the details before.”
Well at least Emma wasn’t the only one lost right now.
“Sit.”
Ruby was firm this time and both Emma and Killian elected to sit as far apart from each other as possible, which wasn’t as far away as Emma might have hoped. What was once a spacious couch now felt like a loveseat and she could feel his body heat radiating off of him. The scent of leather and sandalwood danced through the air around her. Even now, in the light of day he was still intoxicating, perhaps even more so now that she could properly see him.
Which is why Emma chose to sit facing straight out instead of turning towards him.
Ruby stood in front of them both, holding what looked like a full package of index cards. The top half were pink while the bottom half blue.
“I don’t want to bore you with the details on what we’re measuring here, but the instructions are fairly straight forward. In my hand, I have a set of questions. You ask each other the questions written on the cards and you must answer honestly. There is no skipping questions.”
Ruby finished with a pointed glare at Emma. Splitting the cards in half, she handed them to both Emma and Killian and started walking to the door.
“I’ll be in the next room and I can see and hear you, but please act as normal as possible.”
With that, she was gone, and Emma found herself stumbling over her words as she tried to read the first questions out loud.
“One. ‘Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?’ You’ve got to be kidding me.”
She heard him little chuckle, but continued to avoid meeting his gaze.
“What’s wrong, love? Not a fan of dinner parties?”
The lilt was just a strong as she remembered it, as Emma found herself unconsciously leaning towards him as he spoke, the lust filled fantasies of him jumped back into her brain.
“Love?”
God. How long had she been day dreaming?
“Not your love. And these questions are stupid.”
“Emma Swan!” Ruby’s voice rang through an intercom somewhere in the room. “The instructions said to answer the questions. The did not say to argue their purpose.”
Felling a mix between annoyed and properly chastised, Emma felt her walls climbing.
“How about I start then, Swan? I’d have to go with my brother.”
“Seriously? You can eat with anyone in the world, even supermodels, and you go with your brother? A man you’ve probably seen everyday of your life?”
She chanced a look at him and saw a storm brewing behind his eyes as he clenched his jaw.
“Aye, your right. I did see him nearly everyday of my life,” he paused for a second, “right up until he died four years ago. I’d give anything to share one last meal with him.”
Fuck.
Not knowing how to respond, Emma decided to press on. She didn’t normally ‘do’ people, and definitely didn’t ‘do’ feelings. Especially not with greek god level strangers that she once managed to jump in a bar, only to make a complete ass of herself twice later on.
“Arthur Koehler.”
“Excuse me?”
“Arthur Koehler. He was one of the pioneers in criminal forensics and actually responsible for catching the guy that kidnapped and killed the Lindbergh baby. He solved the whole case just using a sample of wood, tracking down where the wood had been harvested, milled, and sold even.”
She looked over to see Killian giving her the most quizzical of looks.
“Criminal justice major,” she said, hoping somehow that would explain her fascination with murder.
Killian nodded along before reading out his own card.
“Number two: ‘Would you like to be famous? In what way’?”
The second question was easier, both answering that they’d each be content avoiding the limelight.
The third question had Emma nearly giddy as Killian responded.
Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
He hadn’t actually answered - not with words, anyways - but when his cheeks filled with a beautiful shade of rose, Emma knew immediately that the answer was ‘yes’.
“Oh my god. You totally do that don’t you!”
The questions became easier as they went on. There was an odd sense of comradery in having to spill your guts with a complete stranger, even if looking at him made Emma’s stomach do somersaults. It wasn’t until twenty minutes later that the questions started getting more personal, making Emma uncomfortable. If it weren’t for her loyalty to Ruby, she’d have gotten up and left.
“If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?”
Emma didn’t hesitate. “Body.”
She watched as Killian’s head tilted to the side, obviously surprised by her answer.
“I’m not vain or superficial or anything. It’s just, sometimes it might not feel like the worst thing to forget parts of your life.”
Parts like the ex who tried to frame her for theft, or the guy who cheated on her. Parts like the parents who dumped her on the side of the road. Parts like being bounced around from one hellish foster home to the next.
Killian didn’t seem to need her to explain though. Somehow, he just got it, like he could read her. She was an open book to him. His hand moved to rest over hers, and had Ruby not come in at that precise moment, she probably would have found herself in his lap. She’d allowed herself to get so wrapped up that she forgot where she was, or that she didn’t know him.
She jerked her hand back as Ruby informed them they’d have a five minute break. She took the time to wash her face off in the bathroom and recompose herself.
It wasn’t enough. Immediately after the break, the questions got even harder.
If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
How do you feel about your relationship with your mother.
Emma could sense Killian’s hesitation each time he had to ask her a question, especially after she was forced to tell him about her past in excruciating detail. Each new detail she had to give him felt like a knife to the heart. For his part, he hadn’t had the picture perfect life either. His mother had died of cancer when he was seven, then his father took off in the middle of the night when he was twelve. But through it all, he’d had his brother. Emma hadn’t had anyone.
Ruby gave them another break after the second set of questions, and this time Emma chose not to leave the room. There was something calming about Killian’s presence, and although she’d never see him again after the experiment was over, the irony of it not lost on her, she wasn’t ready to give him up just yet.
So for the five minute break, they sat together side by side, thighs brushed up against each other. On more than one occasion his hand had found its way to her leg in an attempt to soothe her. Emma found herself surprised each time he did it, as she never felt the sense to brush him off like she had so many guys before him. Affection wasn’t something she found comforting in a man usually.
Ruby warned them that the final set of questions would push them even more. They’d have to look even deeper into themselves and reveal stuff they’d both kept hidden deep down.
If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
Emma had never felt so alone in her life. Before, she’d always told herself that if she didn’t let people in, she couldn’t be hurt by them, but as the questions continued, she realized that one day she would die, bitter and alone, and she’d only have herself to blame. It was a hard realization.
She hadn’t even noticed the way she’d drifted into Killian, resting her head on his chest as his arms wrapped around her. At least not until Ruby came in again and gave them the final instructions.
Four minutes. They’d have to stare into each other’s eyes for four minutes. No talking. No moving. No looking away. Just four minutes of getting lost in his eyes as she thought back over everything she had told him, and all of the things he shared as well.
He was studying marine engineering so he could build boats after graduation. He had his heart broken by a woman who didn’t tell him she was married until he’d proposed to her. He’d fled England to escape the memories of Milah and Liam. He was kind and loyal. He’d even sang to her in his angelic voice.
And as she stared into his eyes, all she could think about was what it would be like to give him a chance. To wonder if he was worth lowering her walls for. To wonder what could have happened between them if she wasn’t so damn broken inside.
“And that’s it. You guys are done.”
She wasn’t sure what to say or do, so out of instinct the wall rose once more, and Emma left, running away before anyone could stop her. She hadn’t meant to let anyone in, and she was terrified of the fact that she wanted him for something more than just one night. She wanted forever.
When Ruby returned to their apartment, it was hours later. Emma was slightly furious with her for roping her into something she knew was going to be so emotionally draining. They argued for what felt like ages. Emma had kept everything bottled up so tightly for years, that she didn’t know how to close the dam again now that it had been opened. They were barely even on speaking terms when they parted ways to go to bed that night, and when Emma woke again it was late in the morning to an empty apartment.
She had cried herself to sleep and the exhaustion of it all had lingered. Rolling out of bed, she started for the kitchen, but stopped short when she saw an envelope that had been slipped under her door. She didn’t recognize the looped handwriting, but there had only even been one person who called her Swan.
Dear Emma,
Please don’t be too cross with Ruby. This is actually my fault, you see. I’ve noticed you on more than one occasion with the lady Lucas, and having fancied you, I asked her to introduce us. She warned me that your heart would not easily be won, and I fear I may have pushed her too hard as a result. I hadn’t realized the purpose of Ruby’s study until we were half way through it and it was too late to back out. I never meant for any harm to come to you. Please accept my sincerest apologies.
Killian Jones.
It took Emma three days to muster up the courage to find him. Over those three days, thoughts of him had invaded every part of her being. She could still smell him on the top Ruby had loaned her. She could still feel his scruff against her cheek. And worst of all, she could see the way his eyes nearly pooled as she told him about her pathetic past.
It took some searching and some internet stalking, but she had figured out his favorite place was a small little harbor on the outside of town. He’d checked-in to a tiny seaside restaurant about a dozen times the previous month, and posted multiple pictures from the dock outside.
He was sitting alone on a bench overlooking the water. The sun was beginning to set, casting the sky in colors of pink and orange. It was a moment her mind wanted to capture for some reason.
“Mind if I sit?”
If she’d startled him, he gave no indication. He only gesture to the open spot next to him. They sat together, silently taking in the sunset until only the barest hint of a golden halo crested the sky above the water.
“So what was the purpose of the experiment?”
It wasn’t a perfect opening line, but it was safer than blurting out how much she missed him when she hardly even knew him.
“To fall in love.”
There was a pause that seemed to stretch to the end of time.
“It’s this thing I read about in a newspaper. Someone created this list of questions that are so deep and meaningful, that when two strangers answer them to each other, they’re supposed to form a bond. Some people argue that it only causes you to feel affection for the other person, but other believe that you’ll fall in love.”
There was another pause as the last hint of light dipped below the water.
“And did you?”
She felt him stiffen next to her.
“No.” She felt her heart beginning to crack. “No, I promise, I didn’t know that’s what Ruby’s experiment was about until it was too late-”
She cut him off, grabbing his hand in a moment of courage.
“I meant, did you fall in love?”
His tongue came out to wet his bottom lip as he stared out at the water before them.
“I felt affection for you the moment I first saw you. You were amused at something Ruby had said and your laugh was like music to my ears. But I think-” He turned to look her in the eyes. “I think I fell in love you the moment you kissed me. I felt something that I’ll never be able to explain, but I knew, Emma, that I only ever wanted to kiss you from then on out.”
She couldn’t say anything back. She couldn’t tell him that she’d fallen for him over the course of thirty six questions and four minutes. Her walls were still too high, but for the first time ever, she felt ready to start pulling them down, brick by brick. So when she kissed him again, it was to show him all of the things she couldn’t say just yet. It was to show him that she loved him too.
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