#THE ANGUISH AS SHE LOOKED AT MC | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mandalhoerian · 6 months ago

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Repost because tumblr's tags were broken yesterday and it ate my post up 😞 Spoilers and translation notes for Rafayel's intertidal zone & analysis because it kinda floored me, I was just as a blank page as he was throughout this. I had to watch it like 5 times to understand what the story was saying and dig into chinese and japanese versions of this to piece together what was really happening. It may be my idiot brain not getting it and maybe it was like the easiest thing to understand for you but. Yeah. I may be just dumb LMFAO AND!!!! There's also a theory of mine into how Rafayel is actually able to read mc's mind/wishes through their lemurian bond, so stay tuned for that I guess

EDIT: correcting some transcriptions of chinese characters and the translations. sorry about that! google couldn't transcribe it correctly. for clarity's sake i will also include original screenshots. please tell me if anything is wrong!

EDIT 2: Check out part 2 to this as well for stuff I missed!

EDIT 3: An Abysswalker connection I found

EDIT 4: Debunking the myths of non-consent & Rafayel hurting MC in the spicy scene

So Rafayel’s whole deal in this memory, I believe, is dependency. Like, too much intensity, too much need, too much fear -- about scaring her off, about what he sees himself possibly becoming in the future, overall just being too reliant on mc and getting scared by it.

Let's begin with this massive fear of being a taker, not just in the “I’m stealing someone’s fries” way, but in this existential, soul-deep kind of way where he’s terrified of turning everything he loves into something he exploits out of demand for his art. And yeah, it’s sad when you first hear him say it, but it’s also really interesting when you look at how this all ties into his relationship with MC and his inspiration source drying up because of her.

Before Rafayel became an artist, he looked at the world in this super pure, wholesome way. Sceneries and nature were just there, things to admire and feel awe over without needing to do anything about it. Like, imagine standing at the edge of a desert, looking at a sea that’s drying up. Sure, it’s tragic, but it’s also kind of beautiful in a raw, heartbreaking way. That’s how Rafayel saw things, he could appreciate them without feeling like he had to do anything.

But then Rafayel started creating, and suddenly, sceneries weren’t just sceneries anymore. They became inspiration. He wasn’t just admiring beauty, he was extracting something from it, its meaning, its pain, its soul, to turn into art for other people. And that made him feel all kinds of icky, because now he wasn’t just looking at the drying sea. He was taking from it. Just as he's using his people's pain in his art as well, that's also a thing.

Now let’s talk about MC. Rafayel loves her like he used to love those sceneries,,, in this pure, untainted way. There's a parallel here. But here’s the kicker, he’s not the same guy who can just admire something and leave it untouched anymore.

And suddenly, this is no longer only about losing inspiration for him.

This happens after he and MC get together, and it’s like all the pain and anguish that used to fuel his creativity just.. ... dries up. He can’t find that spark anymore because now his life is surrounded by love instead of suffering. In fact, his inspiration starts coming from her and it's starting to clash with how he makes art. In the phone call, he seeks her out and says he needs her so bad and she only needs to talk to help him out. This is the first wink wink nod nod of the story.

So what does Rafayel do? He goes on this big, dramatic trip to "find inspiration" (or at least his muse), but it’s not just about his art. He’s not just looking for inspiration, he’s trying to figure out how to be less dependent on her and becoming increasingly more restless over this. The temparature and physical discomfort is making things worse, he's anxiously overthinking, and imagine trying to fight this and the longest art block as of late off when all you want to do is indulge in this special person and be comforted like a lap cat all day every day.

He understands that if he lets himself indulge without restraint, one day his love for mc will turn into pure need. He’ll become more and more greedy, and he doesn’t want that and is afraid of being abandoned because of that growing neediness and dependency.

This is in relation to his art, because as @/dat-silvers-girl put in the comments, he's struggling with "the genuine fear of not being able to enjoy anything in life because all you're thinking about how to use it (as an artist)" . what if he starts doing this to her? to their love and relationship? take from her, and become someone who only takes in every area of life -- like someone who only exploits things by extracting what he feels about them to use it for his art. he's afraid of that, he doesn't like that and possibly doesn't like himself who does it. so why should she? she would leave him for sure, in his head, that's a solid reason to.

The first time around he brings up his anxiety about MC leaving him out of the inner realization of his dependency, the possibility of just what he can become, and fear of abandonment. she effortlessly soothes his worries. It's heavily implied they did it afterwards and after hearing "her life has already been consumed by him" he tweaked out a little bit and his "obsession" seeped through.

After it fades to black, he says ほら……僕もとっくに……君に侵食されてしまっているんだ…… which means "See... I've already been completely consumed by you too" in Japanese instead of the life being made a chaotic mess localization. While I think MC's line was jokey and lighthearted, I don't think this man is joking at all. Rafayel didn't say his life was consumed by her as well, he said HE was consumed. Ouh.

This took the edge off from him for a while but they hadn't gotten to the root of the problem yet, so he was back to square one after the memorial hall, because remember, he's trying to find inspiration as an act of making this dependency of his better. Pain and suffering are all around him here, which his inspiration feeds off of. The dried up ocean he could hear weakening, the skeleton of the whale, the burden of his people and homeland more prominent than before. And what does MC do? Tear through the perspective of pain and introduce a hopeful alternative, "Isn't it a surprise to see an ocean in the middle of the desert?"

This is a place that gave Rafayel the height of helplessness and suffering when he visited by himself before despite momentarily being hopeful after the locals told him such a place existed. But now, she was there to comfort him through his loneliness and pain, hug him, and give him hope yet again. He brings up how he wanted to come here with the most important person to him when he was still hopeful about it before consumed by the pain of it all, and that wish has been granted. That moment has to be so powerful for Rafayel. Literally light at the end of the tunnel.

It had me reeling that he just sat in the car after all that, staring at her for god knows how long until she woke up. He was probably overthinking again, but my interpretation that it was heavily emotional for him (it could have meant so little for MC but the world for him, she doesn't even know) and he wanted to be in that moment with her, just feel and look without restraint. Indulge a little. (I can just imagine him going just a little bit more, I'll go after she wakes up.) And like. His eyes are shining in the darkness is the description here. Perhaps he was feeling so much here. So much love. So much happiness. And he's about to go in for a kiss (heavy breathing and everything) after that, but holds himself back and actively has to pry himself away. He's feeling the neediness again.

That’s why he makes an effort to actively wean himself off and says he'll be okay on his own. What he says to her after MC is like "spoiling him" being all "hey you're sick maybe don't go? or let's go together?" (which is NOT helping Rafayel at all) is even more meaningful in Japanese and I didn't know why they left out this context, but the rearranged line would be "Do you want me to become a sea creature beached on the sand after the sea recedes, unable to breathe on my own ever again?"

Yeah. YEAH. This is about dependency. (He's saying don't coddle me I'll literally become that wolf tearing his shirt meme 😭)

So of course his stubbornness and anxiety force him to do things without MC and distance himself, he can do it. He’s determined to prove to himself that he can endure it on his own.

I also feel like part of the reason he insisted on going to the salon alone is that he’s still worried mc might come to dislike the version of him who's someone he's so sure she will leave, who isn't perfect and he hides behind the persona he's put up just for her. If he truly becomes addicted to her and shows her everything/his true self, and she ends up leaving him, it would completely break him. He's trying to be like "im so normal about her haha" but he's so not normal about her at all. He's literally obsessed I feel like, and perhaps this is him fighting it knowing it's not healthy.

and OOOH about why he ends up coming back from the salon all hot and bothered.

I have strong context that she flicked the bean in there after he left her high and dry in the car ("hot water washes away the stickiness from my body and his stifled breaths still echo in my ears, enveloping me along with the steam in the bathroom. The warmth from his fingertips lingers in the places where he touched me..." is the english. however, in chinese, it goes "熱水洗去身上的黏膩，壓抑的喘息迴盪在我耳畔，和浴室裡氤氳的水氣一起包裹著我." stating "the suppressed breathing" -- which doesn't have any possessive adjectives when I translated it on google and later explicitly asked chatgpt if it had any his/my adjectives involved, just to be sure. it said no but i'd like it if a real chinese speaking person could give their input on this !!! PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME WITH CHATGPT

so um. if the context is in fact the case that he heard her masturbating to him, the intensity with which he attacked her would be normal, I think 😭

I have belief that MC unconsciously shatters his "training himself to be without her" determination through their bond. She just keeps thinking about him the entire time. about him reading her thoughts, though. we still don't know all about the lemurian bond they share. I’d say it grants him some sort of mind/heart reading ability or connects their minds together (when she was thinking about whether she should hug him, he answered “yes”).

At the salon, I imagine Rafayel was already thinking about her like crazy. Then he realized, or perhaps, "heard" she was still worrying about him and thinking of him (as much he thought about her) and decided to go back. Rafayel probably felt that suppressing himself was only making her more anxious and unsettled. She's thinking all about him, unconsciously calling to him to come to her, she didn't want to let him go at all, wanted to go with him, etc...

but even if it was his own decision and no mind reading was involved... uh. If you ask me. He did quite literally hear her after coming back. That's also something that might make him think she wants him as much as he wants her, which made his self-restraint utterly meaningless from the start.

Disregarding this theory of mine proven wrong until a Chinese speaker helps me out here, MC returned to Rafayel's room. A translation omission happened here from what I saw. There are no possessive adjectives in the Chinese text about the room she returns to, and the Japanese one states she returned to the guest room (doesn't specify which one. She was also able to enter Rafayel's room without needing to knock before.)

so uh. she went into rafayel's room y'all. the line "this is my room, you're the one who walked in here" MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE. (SO LIKE. NOT ONLY DID SHE GO INTO HIS ROOM, SHE FLICKED THE BEAN THERE AND HE POSSIBLY HEARD IT. SHE'S MORE OF A FREAK THAN HE IS, I UNDERSTAND WHY HE LET GO AFTER THAT LMFAO)

I don't put it past him to get worked up after he finds her in his room post-bath even without my theory lmfao (idk why they put her in a dress when she should be in a bathrobe or something 😭)

His conclusion at the end of this memory that "he finds inspiration in pain and the art of creation is a part of his life. mc made him realize love and art are so alike. even if they don't complete him but burn him instead he wants them (love and art) with every fiber of his being" and MC says she doesn't like that, rightfully so.

So like. There's SO MUCH to unpack in here.

When Rafayel says he finds inspiration in pain and that creation is a part of his life, he’s admitting something raw and essential about himself: pain isn’t just a byproduct of his art, it’s intrinsic to it. For Rafayel, pain and art are intertwined in a way that’s almost inseparable. It’s like his muse isn’t just beauty, but beauty that hurts.

But then he takes this further by connecting art to love. He’s realized that both art and love demand the same from him: vulnerability, passion, and sometimes suffering. They don’t necessarily complete him (he’s not romanticizing them as salvation), but they burn him, wear him down, consume him (coincidentally, this is something he said to MC in the JP dub of this memory, that she consumes him), but also give him life. And for Rafayel, that’s the crux, even if they burn him, he wants them with every fiber of his being.

This is such a Rafayel thing to say. It’s dramatic, it’s tortured, but it’s also deeply SUBTLE. He doesn't spell all of these out, mind you, I got a headache trying to understand him. Or I'm just slow, I don't know. It shows how much he values creation and connection, even if they come at a cost.

MC, on the other hand, challenges this perspective. When she says she doesn’t like that he views love and art as things that burn him, she’s pushing back against the idea that suffering is a necessary part of creation, or love. MC doesn’t want Rafayel to see their relationship as something that requires him to hurt. She’s telling him, “You don’t have to destroy yourself to love me.”

When MC says, “You’ll never have to burn for me,” she’s giving Rafayel an alternative to his destructive mindset. She’s saying that love doesn’t have to hurt, that their relationship can exist without him sacrificing himself on the altar of passion. It’s a refusal to let Rafayel romanticize pain as the price of love.

And I love that Rafayel goes, "Will you help me look for other parts in life outside of pain?" in response. This is NOT about art or inspiration anymore, and the way the dialogue is written is just AUGH. Again I had to rewatch this over and over again for the nuances and subtext.

I love MC's response, she knew exactly what to say. “I’ll always be the one who walks along the shore with you. Of course, diving into the sea bed is fine too. If it can snow in the desert, there will be a day when the ocean returns.”

MC’s response is layered with metaphors, but at its core, it’s about unwavering support and hope::

Walking along the shore: This represents safety and companionship. MC is saying she’ll be with Rafayel in the calm, in the moments where they’re just observing life without diving into its depths. She’ll be his steady presence, his grounding force.

Diving into the sea bed: This is an acknowledgment that life and love sometimes require going deeper and they may go through hardships, into the unknown, the murky, the challenging. MC isn’t afraid of this, she’s willing to go there with him too.

Snow in the desert and the ocean’s return: This is a symbol of hope and transformation beyond being a nod to The Sea of Golden Sand. Snow in the desert seems impossible, just like the idea of Rafayel finding inspiration outside of pain might feel impossible to him. But MC believes in the extraordinary, in change, and in the possibility that beauty and creation can exist outside of suffering.

Her words are a promise: she’s willing to stand by him, to face the unknown together, and to hold onto the belief that a new way of seeing the world is possible.

And Rafayel LOWKEY PROPOSES IN RETURN.

By saying “let’s watch the sea together,” he’s accepting MC’s offer of companionship and hope in the long run. He’s recognizing that life doesn’t have to be about diving into the depths alone, it can be about sharing the experience with someone else, even if it’s just standing on the shore and watching.

“Every sea”: This phrase is key. Rafayel isn’t just committing to one kind of life or one kind of inspiration, he’s opening himself up to all possibilities. Watching every sea means embracing all facets of life, whether they’re calm or turbulent, painful or beautiful. It’s a marriage proposal declaration that he’s ready to explore the world beyond pain, with MC by his side.

So. I love that his inspiration returns after his freak is accepted by MC because he literally feels the acceptance through the bond.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. This memory DRAINED me. They were just supposed to bang what the fuck happened. Why did I have to go treasure hunting to find what was going on in this card. anyway...

#love and deepspace #rafayel #lads #lads rafayel #rafayel lads #l&ds #l&ds rafayel #qi yu #rafayel qi #fandom: lads

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aurorasdaybreak · 4 months ago

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the love shot °˖➴ caleb xia (m)

summary: usually, you're able to keep apart love and hate with ease. but with him, you find that the two are not only more similar than they seem, but also deeply intertwined - to the point you can't separate them anymore. info: farspace fleet colonel!caleb x hunter afab!reader | story compliant | fluff, angst, smut | 18+ | 10k words warnings: some angst, some fluff, mostly smut, possessive!caleb bc ofc he is, possessive!mc bc have you seen his myth?? she did not want to let go AT ALL, (light) spoilers for caleb’s myth, timeline wise this happens i’m considering this an extension of painful signal that might be out of timeline whoopsies (;—;), kissing, making out against a wall, teasing, inappropriate use of evol, dom!caleb, sub!f!reader, choking, f!receiving fingering, f!receiving oral, edging, marking, praise, degradation (slut, cockslut), f!multiple orgasms, squirting, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), kinda sappy sex, cervix fucking(ish), caleb checking in bc he’s going hard (and consent and checking in is sexy!), ending is sappy and fluffy?? idk (T_T) author’s note: hi hi hello! i'm new to lads tumblr (but not to writing) and i'm very excited to be here :') it's been a little bit since i've written, so pls be kind but also pls feel free to leave your thoughts in my askbox!! i hope you enjoy :D disclaimer: not beta read, will edit soon for any mistakes!! if you are a minor and you're seeing this, i ask that you turn away and do not read. this is an 18+ story and minors are not welcome. if you are uncomfortable with any of the topics listed in the warning, please do not read this story! °˖➴ inspired by love shot by exo

It’s been hard for you to distinguish what’s true and false these past couple of weeks.

When you took your leave, you had deemed it as a necessary distraction from all of the grief and pain that’s been greeting you in your apartment. You had established your universe’s truths before you touched base in Skyhaven: you’re a Deepspace hunter, you’re here to find links between Ever and the Farspace Fleet, and you’re definitely not using this half-baked mission to run away from what haunts you at night.

An explosion. A necklace just out of reach. Amethyst eyes, dismayed yet hiding something that you couldn’t quite decipher.

You had grown numb to the pain, but that didn’t mean it never left you alone.

When you had gotten into formation waiting for the new Farspace Fleet colonel, you were sure of the reality that you were living in. As lackluster as the world had gotten, it still turned, and you couldn’t wallow and let your anguish eat you alive.

So you stood, holding your breath and waiting to catch a glimpse of the new colonel…

…only for everything you knew to be shattered in an instant.

Because it was him.

But was it really?

In the weeks that followed, you stayed with him and learned new things that kept threatening to disturb the peace you fought to maintain. You learned of his monumental rise through the ranks, the secrets he tried to stash away, even what his workload entailed.

You also learned how wicked he could truly be, bending your trust until you thought it would shatter in between his fingers.

After uncovering the real truth, you had returned to Linkon City and relayed all you knew to Jenna - minus the enigmatic colonel the Association was chasing after. How could you even begin to tell her that the Farspace Fleet’s most feared leader is your childhood best friend? The one that you swore blew up right before your very eyes?

You couldn’t, not without uncovering the truth for yourself first.

So you went back to Skyhaven, spending more days with him.

Looking back on it now, it was almost like when you were kids. He took care of you, cooking your favorite meals and doting on you like he always did. There were soft, stolen moments that you tried to keep at the forefront of your brain, but it was hard to grasp on that warmth when there was an underlying chill in the moments you’ve shared.

You didn’t know then, but you now know the extent of just how wrong things have been within the ranks of the Farspace Fleet. The Toring Chip, memory resets when emotions get too high…people becoming a shell of what they used to be.

You didn’t think that all of this could even exist, much less be possible and be used in such an unfeeling way. In your heart of hearts, you just didn’t want to believe it because it meant that he had gone through it. You had been delusional enough to think he had dodged it.

But all it took was one call from Gideon for you to uncover the truth. Now…

Now, you’re taking in the sight of Caleb Xia’s metal arm in your hands.

You and him are sitting side by side on his makeshift cot, thighs pressed together as you turn the foreign part in your palms. He complies with your silent assessment, moving his arm up and down so that you can examine every angle. Something violent begins to brew in your stomach as you run your fingers along the smooth metal - a rage that you don’t quite know how to quell because you’ve never felt something of this magnitude before.

You almost welcome it. It’s preferable to the gray haze you’ve been living in these past couple of months.

“Do you remember the process?” Your voice is deceptively calm as your palm slides down the length of his forearm so that you can grab his wrist, and you rest his hand in your lap so that you can play with his fingers.

There’s a beat of silence before Caleb lets out a sigh. He pulls his hand from your lap and presses it into his thigh, the joints of his fingers creaking just a little bit at the sheer amount of force he exerts on his own skin. You tut at this, and you grab his wrist again so that you can help his hand relax. You take your time in unfurling each of his metal digits, gently straightening each of them at the knuckle so that they no longer crease. The action has Caleb relaxing, and you try not to shiver when you feel him rest his head on your shoulder.

“I only remember the pain.” It’s a quiet admission, one that leaves his lips and gently ruffles the hair by your ear like a summer breeze carrying a heavy secret. His fingers curl around your own and he squeezes tightly, you returning the same strength. “Looking back, I was thankful for just how excruciating it was. It reminded me that I was alive and that I wasn’t gonna waste my second chance.”

“I hate that you can’t feel much with it anymore.” Your tone is bitter as you shift away from his side, giving you space so that you can properly process all of the information you’ve just been given.

“I don’t just feel much, I feel nothing at all.” Caleb says it with a self-deprecating humor, but you can only scoff as you push yourself off of the cot and stand in front of him.

“I meant what I said about making the Farspace Fleet pay.” You cross your arms and tilt your head to the side, giving him a serious look. “They can’t get away with everything that they’ve done to you and your comrades - hell Caleb, everything they’re doing right now!”

“How do you propose you do that, ____?” He laughs, but it’s not a happy sound as he grabs the back of your thighs and forces you closer, pulling you into his lap so that you straddle him. You tilt your head down so that you can avoid his eyes, and his chest rumbles at your action.

He tilts your chin up with his metal hand, and you shiver at the restrained strength in which he holds your face. His eyes are cold and his fingers twitch slightly. You should be scared, but somehow you aren’t. There’s a fire that ignites at your proximity, one that’s slowly beginning to spread along your entire body and makes your head spin at its ferocity.

“You can’t just burn the Farspace Fleet down.” It’s almost as if he can read your mind, and you wouldn’t be surprised if he gleaned those thoughts from just one look on your face. “I can’t tell you everything, ____ - but I promise you, things will get better for me, for us.”

That last word has you stilling and dropping your gaze so that you don’t have to look head on at him. You catch a quick glimpse of the silver against his chest, the words When U Come Back highlighted by the silvery light of the moon. Those words feel like a sick joke because the man you gave them to may be here physically - but he’s not really your Caleb.

You reach up to gently pull his metal hand off of your chin, and you can feel the burning of his gaze as you drop your mouth to his right shoulder. You feel his breath hitch when your lips meet the junction of skin and steel, his exhalation shaky when your tongue lightly flicks the slight divot. The taste of salty bitterness lays heavy in your mouth, and you pull away to look back up at his failing restraint.

“Did you feel that?” It’s rhetorical and you both know it from the way you’ve rendered him speechless. His lips form a thin line as your hands make their way up his torso, giving you an anchor as you stare into his eyes. “You say you can’t, but it’s clear that you do.”

Your fingers begin to draw circles on his shoulders, and you try your best to even your breathing so that he can’t see just how affected you are. You can’t afford to show any weakness, not in front of this imposter who wears your dead best friend’s face.

“I used to be able to read you so clearly.” It’s a whisper, and you let your forehead fall against his collarbone. “I used to know everything just from one look on your face. I hate that they took that from me.”

“Me wearing my heart on my sleeve and showing my weakness?” It’s meant to come out as a scoff, but you can hear the vulnerability in his tone.

“I was thinking more your honesty.” You feel his chest rise quickly, and you shake your head as you chuckle bitterly. “Of course you’d think it’s a weakness now.”

You bite your lip when you hear his hands leave the sheets, and your eyes slip shut when they settle on your waist. The chilling cold and comforting warmth serve as a reminder of the past you crave so much and the present you’re currently dealing with - the cold and calculated colonel versus your childhood best friend who scored himself onto your heart.

Time ticks slowly as he mulls over his response, and your breaths are shallow as you wait for his words. Above you, Caleb swallows thickly before settling on his carefully chosen words.

“I did it to protect you.”

You quietly suck in a breath, and it’s like even the air in the room has gone still at his quiet admission.

He takes your silence as your permission to continue with his reasoning. The words muffle when they reach your ears though - not because you’re not interested, but because you know it’s not true.

The Caleb you knew would never keep secrets from you. He would be honest, he would never stay away from you for as long as he did.

So why did he?

Are you a burden to him?

Your blood runs cold at the continuous stream of velvet sweetness streaming from his lips, and you shake your head as you push yourself up and away from his suffocating presence. “Bullshit.”

You feel Caleb’s chest stop, your expletive taking him by surprise. “____?”

“I call bullshit, Caleb Xia.”

It’s filled with venom and you clamber away, taking deep breaths and willing yourself to wake up from this suffocating nightmare. You focus your gaze on the single strand of raven hair that sways upright in the nighttime breeze because you know if you look into his eyes, you’ll crumble at his feet. “You didn’t do it for me, you did it to save yourself. Not once did you care for me-”

“That’s a lie and we both know that.” His words are just as harsh as he pushes himself up from the cot, and your eyes pass over his face as his height forces you to see every emotion dancing on his face. “____, I’ve been through the fucking ringer. You have no fucking idea what I had to do to get to this point, what I sacrificed just so I could reach the top all the while protecting my heart.” It comes out raw and his biting words soften at the last word, but you still roll your eyes as you cross your arms to protect yourself.

“So tell me what you did.” They’re quiet but lethally so, satin hiding the steel intent in your words. “Tell me the fucking truth, Caleb. Tell me every painful detail so that I can try to begin to understand you.”

You don’t realize it, but you walk forward until you’re stopped in front of him, back in his space. You hate yourself just a little bit for not being able to fully pull back, but you know deep down you can’t stay too far away from him anymore.

You’re afraid he’ll be taken from you from right under your fingers.

“And in return, I’ll try to tell you the excruciating hurt I went through mourning you and Gran.” Your voice wavers and you grip at your biceps, digging your nails into the muscle to steel yourself. “I’ll try to tell you how fucking awful it felt burying two empty caskets, standing at honor ceremonies, and staring up at my ceiling at night wondering if my dreams would be warm from the happy memories or from the fire that resulted from the blast. I’ll try to explain the emptiness I felt for the months after, because while you were here doing whatever you did to get to the top, I was left with the ghost of you.”

Your lip trembles and you unfold your arms, pressing your palms against your cheeks to furiously wipe away the tears that have begun to course down your face. The room stands still as your shoulders shake, and you can feel his heavy gaze on your head.

“I should have never gone here,” you whisper once your tears subside, leaving you with the bitter emptiness you’ve grown acquainted with. “At least you would’ve stayed dead, and I wouldn’t have grown to hate what you’ve become.”

You turn on your heels and spin around, trying to make your way out of the hidden room. You’re barely able to take two steps before you feel a cool brush against the back of your neck, and you gasp when his metal fingers grasp tightly at your shoulder.

“Repeat that last statement again.” His fingers tighten slightly as he walks in a direction, and a gasp escapes your lips at the sudden proximity and your back meeting a wall. His hand moves up so that his fingers can wrap around your neck, thumb tilting your chin up and forcing you to look at the Colonel standing in front of you as he presses down on the column of your throat just a little bit harder.

“I s-should have never gone h-here.” They leave in puffs, but you still force enough conviction to gain a harsher look in his eyes.

“And?” His voice is clipped, and a sudden pang of fear strikes your spine when you see the wires attached to the machine begin to rise: a sign of him losing his grip on his Evol. “I specifically remember something about hate.”

Your mouth runs dry and your eyes widen, taking in the implication of his words. Caleb laughs humorlessly at your reaction, his fingers slightly loosening and giving you a little taste of the clean air you didn’t realize you were craving.

“Tell me you hate me, ____.” The venomous words are juxstaposed by his gentle tone and his human hand reaching up and gently tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, his warm fingers squeezing your ear lobe and serving as a reminder that somewhere deep down, he’s still your Caleb. “Tell me you hate me, and I’ll let you leave. I’ll disappear for good. I’ll become the ghost you’ve always wanted.”

Your future hangs in a delicate balance as you process his words, turning over the possible options in your head. You’d grown used to living without him and Gran after the explosion. Life was dull, but you’d begun to move on. Staying here and letting him back in would undo the progress you’ve made - it would force you to confront ugly truths you’re not sure you’re ready to face.

But on the other hand…

You don’t think you can do the rest of your life without him. You need him like the air you breathe and the water you drink - he’s vital to your survival like the weapons you wield when you face Wanderers on the field. He’s an extension of you, a reminder of the life you’ve lived and the life that’s ahead of you.

But that life is meaningless without him…even if it’s this twisted, darker version of Caleb you barely know.

You’ve made up your mind.

“I hate you, Colonel Xia. I loathe you with every fiber of my being.” You barely gasp out the words before your arms wrap around his neck and pull him down, bringing his lips to yours.

His reaction is instantaneous, his hands cupping your cheeks and forcing your neck at a higher angle so that he can kiss you more deeply. His body presses yours against the wall, and he swallows the gasp that leaves your lips. It’s angry, full of bitter resentment from the past couple of weeks. His tongue sweeps across your bottom lip and you barely open your mouth wide enough before he forces himself in, tongues tangling before he ultimately wins the battle for dominance.

His hands shift, going from your cheeks to back down your neck before sliding down your back and cupping your hips. He squeezes the flesh and it has your head reeling, pulling away from his lips to gasp for air.

Your head falls back against the wall, and your chest heaves as you suck in air greedily into your lungs. Your fingers grasp his shoulders and you feel your stomach flip at the tortured groan that escapes his mouth, right before he pulls you in even closer to him and kisses you again.

It’s another battle for victory, and you win a point when your fingers reach up to pull at his hair. Caleb’s mouth falls even wider at the sensation and you use that timing to your advantage, allowing yourself to bite and suck at his bottom lip. He groans again, and the sound sends shivers down your spine and causes you to smirk against his mouth.

“What, tired already?” You can’t help the taunting tone that enters your voice, and he pulls away just enough so that you can see the steely resolve on his face.

“In your dreams,” Caleb retorts. His hands shift from your hips to your ass and you try to mask the whimper that nearly escapes you as an exhale, but you know he knows by the huff against your lips that you’ve failed.

He uses your daze to pull your hips even closer to his front, and your eyes roll back into your skull when you feel his rapidly hardening length in his slacks. “This is what you do to me, ____.” He grinds his hips against yours, and this time you can’t quite help the moan that leaves your lips. “You drive me fucking insane.”

You don’t even offer a retort, instead choosing to pull him back down again so that you can kiss him again. He willingly lets you, and you bite down on his lip hard when his palms squeeze at your ass. He taps two fingers against the flesh and your arms tighten around his neck, giving him the chance to slide his hands to the back of your thighs and wrapping your legs around his waist with ease.

Caleb walks out of his makeshift infirmary back into his living room, dodging furniture with ease as you press your lips against his jaw. You feel his chest rumble against yours as you begin to nip and suck blossoms under his chin, and his hands squeeze your ass in warning when you begin to mark up his neck.

You barely register that you’re in his (your?) bedroom until you land onto the bed on your back with a gasp. You bite your lip when you see Caleb kick off his slippers and socks before making his way over to the bed, grabbing your thighs and dragging you to the edge of the bed before letting his palms settle on your hips.

“You know that marking Skyhaven property is a punishable offense?” Caleb’s voice is a drawl as his fingers massage their way up your sides, dipping underneath your shirt and tracing circles that have your patience thinning. “You can be fined or jailed. Depends on the severity, though.”

“W-what does it matter?” Your voice leaves in a gasp as Caleb’s hands finally slide underneath your shirt, giving you the touch you so desperately crave.

“Think about it, pips.” Caleb pulls you up by your waist, and your head spins as he nudges your thighs apart with his knee. “What were you doing just now?”

“Caleb, what-” You can barely think as he guides your arms up, working your shirt over your head before tossing the garment somewhere in his room. He pushes you back down onto the bed, and you feel your eyes begin to close at the hazy, almost animalistic look in his own gaze. His hands pinch at your hips, though, and your eyes snap back open to meet his once again.

“Think, ____.” There’s an edge to his voice as his hands return to your waist, slowly making their way up to your ribcage. “What were you doing to me in the living room?”

You can barely think, mind clouding in need as his thumbs brush the underside of your bra cups. He skims the digits along the underside, letting his nails trace the lacy material - making you swallow thickly as you try to place your answer.

Your eyes catch the blossoming purple on his neck, and you finally put two and two together. “All because I gave you hickeys?”

“Good girl.” There’s a touch of humor in his voice, and he rewards you by sliding his thumbs underneath your bra and running the rough digits along the swell of your breasts. Your head lolls back at the stimulation, although annoyance flares in your stomach - mixing with the desire and lighting a savage flame in your body.

“That’s dumb as fuck.” It’s a moan, but you can feel his annoyance by the way his hands stop.

“Why is that?” Caleb’s hands make their way to your back, and you lift your torso so that he can struggle with your bra’s clasps. “I’m the Farspace Fleet’s colonel, ____. And my uniform’s gonna have a hard time covering the gifts you’ve given me, pips.”

“Because, Caleb,” you laugh when he fumbles with the clasps, and the irritation on his face gives way to a slight look of endearment that has your heart clenching. You make your heart calm down before you continue with faux confidence. “Because, you were mine first.”

His hands stop at your words, and you meet his eyes with unwavering honesty in response to his incredulous stare. “Pips, what-”

“You’ll always be mine.” Your hands tremble when you lift them to his face, but your touch is sure as you brush a strand of hair off of his forehead. “You’ll never be their property because they can’t take my Caleb away from me.”

The air in the room stills as he pulls his body away from yours, registering the weight of your words. You suddenly feel cold all over and you begin to shiver, although it’s not from the temperature of your current surroundings.

Why did you say that in your stupid, lustful daze?

And why do you suddenly feel nervous about his reaction?

Your eyes land on the hickeys your lips and teeth have left on his chest, the littered marks suddenly making you feel self conscious. What a stupid thing to do. Maybe you should stop-

You feel a sudden pressure on your torso as you’re forced back onto the bed, not realizing that you had pushed yourself up onto your forearms. You look up to see Caleb’s stormy eyes - lust and anger and another emotion you can’t quite place clouding his entire face. His palms land on your bra cups, and you can barely gasp in shock when he grips the lace and tears it clean off your body.

“Caleb!” Your annoyance is evident, and you look up at him with a thin press of your lips. “That was one of my favorite pairs-”

Your statement falls flat when he cups your bare breasts, and you gasp when you feel his thumbs roll against your nipples. He readjusts your body so that your hips are on the edge of the bed, and he lets his face fall into the crook of your neck.

“I’ll buy you a new pair.” There’s a new rawness in his voice, and you shiver when you feel his tongue flick at your earlobe. “I’ll buy you whatever the fuck you want, but it’ll be from me.”

His mouth moves down your neck, and you cry out when you feel his teeth catch your nipple. He flicks at the little bud with the tip of his tongue, and his metal hand begins to pinch and rub at the other, making you rub your hips against his as you gasp.

“You’re so fucking mine, ____.” Caleb’s mouth leaves your breast, and he places a soft kiss against the skin where your heart beats. “It’s you and me, pips.”

His tongue leaves a trail from your chest up to your neck, and he kisses your jaw before nudging your nose against his and letting his forehead fall against yours. “You’re not leaving, ever again.”

It’s a whispered promise, and your eyes flutter shut when your mouth meets his once again. While your first kiss was angry and turbulent, this one is sweet and seals his vow - a slow press of lips, a swipe of his tongue against your bottom lip, and a pace that builds the desperation that’s been festering in the pit of your stomach.

Caleb’s mouth begins to leave a feathery trail, slowly mapping a path from your chin and down the column of your throat. Your breathing stops when he reaches your chest, but he elects to pass your nipples entirely and continue his way down your stomach - finally reaching the skin that’s covered by your pants.

It feels like your nerves are going to ignite at any second - the fire that’s been slowly flickering about to consume you from the inside out. You feel his fingertips slide their way under the band of your pants and you don’t even need to think about it, you just lift your hips up so that he can pull the fabric off of your body.

Your eyes blink open at the sharp intake of his breath when he sees you in nothing but the lace panties that match the bra he tore off, and you fight the urge to reach up and cover yourself. Sure, Caleb’s seen you in a variety of ways since your shared childhood, but never in a way that’s been this…intimate.

He catches your gaze, and you can’t help but smile at the flush that’s painting his cheeks. You watch as he kneels in front of you, and you whimper when his hands land on your thighs and open them as wide as he pleases - allowing him to slot himself in between your legs

Your chest begins to rise and fall in much shallower breaths when his left hand reaches up to touch the little white bow at the center front of your underwear. He toys with the little bit of fabric, and a smirk grows on his lips as his metallic fingers squeeze your plush flesh. “These are cute, ____.”

“They matched the bra you ripped.” Your voice is serious, but you bite your bottom lip and look up at him with a coy smile. “How are you gonna make it up to me, Colonel Xia?”

His body stiffens at your words, and a new layer of frost enters the room as he looks down at you coolly. His hands finally toy with the waistband of your panties, fiddling and sliding the band up and down in a way that lets you know that you’ve made a mistake.

“Don’t call me that.” His voice is clipped, but you can’t find it in yourself to heed his warning when he finally drags the scrap of lace down your thighs. He doesn’t take it fully off, though - he instead elects to leave them halfway down your thighs.

“Why not?” There’s a humorous note to your tone, and you’re surprised to find that you enjoy the sight of him blushing and at a loss for words. You bend your knee and lift your leg just the tiniest bit, angling your ankle so that it barely brushes against the bulge that’s straining against the front of his pants. His fingers tremble against your sides as he chokes at the stimulation, and you giggle and let your leg fall back down. “Is something wrong, Colonel Caleb?”

It’s like something in him snaps.

All of a sudden, he’s pressing your hips down onto the bed, and you can barely move. You gasp as Caleb’s body goes, kneeling at the edge of the bed and moving his head dangerously close to your weeping core. Your body heats in embarrassment and you try to snap your legs shut, but before you can do so he’s grabbing your knees and placing them on his shoulders.

“Don’t. Move.” It’s an impossible command, especially since you can feel the way his hair brushes against your core. Your eyes flutter shut, but they snap back open when you feel him pinch your knee. “And keep your eyes on me, ____.”

Time slows as you feel his lips brush against your knee, a whisper that makes you think you dreamt the sensation. You’re brought back to the present when you feel his lips move closer to the place you want him most - featherlight kisses and brushes of his hair enough to drive you to madness, but not enough to push you to the end you so desperately crave.

Caleb’s lips stop at your inner thigh, right before the place you want him most. You try your best to follow his orders, but it’s near impossible. Your patience is hanging on by a thread, and you don’t know just how long you can keep following what he wants.

Caleb feels your thighs tremble underneath his metal palm, and you know he can feel your desperation at the rumble of his laughter as he stops his teasing. “What’s wrong, ____? Can’t wait anymore?”

“N-no,” you stutter out, trying to hide how affected you are by him. “I-i’m just-”

“Just what?” There’s a potent venom that’s disguised by the honeyed tone he injects into his voice. If you closed your eyes, you would almost believe that he was actually concerned. “Just wanting me?”

You don’t know why, but this sets you off in a way you didn’t know was possible. You buck your hips, and you let out a soft cry when your core just slightly meets his mouth. Your eyes slowly slip shut as you buck your hips again and again, craving and wanting and begging-

But suddenly, your hips stop.

Your eyes widen as you realize just what he did to you, and your stomach flips in equal parts fear and want as you look down and see the cold, calculated smirk playing at the edge of his lips.

“I told you not to move, ____.” Caleb’s Evol pins your body to the mattress, and he uses his hands to spread your thighs as far as they can go with your panties restraining you. “And to keep your eyes on me. And since you’ve failed at those two commands, well...”

His teeth bite down at the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, and you cry out as he sucks harshly. Caleb pulls away to examine the hickey he created to match the ones you made on his neck, and you can’t help but moan when you see the possessiveness in his gaze.

“Caleb, plea-” you begin, but the words die on your tongue when he stares at you with that cold, calculated stare he only gives to those under his command.

“How many times did you move your hips?”

“What?” You’re confused by his question.

“How. Many. Times?”

He presses his lips into your skin after every word, his tongue sucking on your flesh and leaving more marks on your skin. Your mind spins as you try to count, and your answer leaves in a clumsy breath: “Three? Why the fuck does it matter?”

He hums at your response, shaking his head and giving you a smirk. “Oh, ____. You’ll learn soon.”

It’s all the warning you get before his metal fingers meet your pussy, carelessly dragging them up against your slit. A strangled cry escapes your body when the stimulation finally registers in your mind, and you try to buck your hips up so that you can begin to chase your high.

You’ve forgotten about his Evol, however, so you’re forced to feel the molten sensation spreading across your body.

“You’re so impatient, baby.” There’s a whisper of a laugh in Caleb’s voice as he continues to slide his fingers against your pussy lips, avoiding the one spot you want him to press down on the most. “What happened to all the patience I taught you?”

“You taught me jack shit-” you try to snap, but it cuts off into a moan when you feel his fingers dip slightly into your sopping hole. You gnaw at your bottom lip and glare at him, but all he does is work his finger gently into your hole and give you a shit-eating grin.

“Mmm, that’s right ____,” he hums sweetly, slowly working in the cold digit. You try your best to hold his gaze, but the combination of how cold and thick his ring finger is has your eyelids slowly slipping shut.

All of a sudden, you feel his finger pushing deep inside of you, and you cry out and meet his gaze. Caleb’s lips continue to display a twisted grin as he slowly retracts his finger, and you can’t even do anything about it because your hips are held in place by his stupid Evol.

“Sorry, pips.” You can tell he’s not sorry at all, but your sarcastic reply is cut off by a moan when he pushes his finger back in slowly. “You’re just too easy to tease.”

“You’re such an ass.” You can barely breathe from the pleasure he gives you with just a single finger, and you know he can see it from the way your head shakes back and forth on his mattress and the sweat that begins to make your body glisten. You hear Caleb groan from between your thighs, and you lift your head as far as you can manage and whimper at the sight of him thrusting his metal finger in and out of your cunt while his warm palm squeezes your thigh harshly.

You feel the telltale sign of your orgasm beginning to build in the pit of your stomach and you cry out, frustrated at not being able to buck your hips up. You close your eyes and let your head flop back onto the mattress, and you let the feeling wash over your entire being. You can feel yourself get closer and closer and closer until-

-until it fucking stops.

“What the fuck?!” Your eyes snap open and you crane your head up in desperation, only to be greeted by Caleb’s pleased face. His amethyst gaze meets your own, and you can only watch as he brings his finger up to his lips and sucks your want off of the metal like it’s the water he needs to survive.

“Fuck, ____-” Caleb groans, and before you can even register what he’s done, he places both of his hands on your thighs and presses his mouth against your soaking cunt.

“C-caleb!” You cry out. Your hands immediately shoot out and you intertwine your fingers with his soft hair so that you have something to anchor yourself in reality. Caleb groans at the dull ache at his skull but instead of slowing down he speeds up - making the sensations he forces on your body that much more intense.

Caleb’s tongue carelessly traces lines up and down your slit, and you nearly sob in relief when you feel the tip of his tongue finally flick at your clit. He repeats the motion again, and he laughs when he sees the way your hole begins to leak with more of your slick.

“I didn’t know you were that desperate, pips.” Embarrassment flares in the pit of your stomach, although it’s quickly flushed away when he presses the flat of his tongue against your entire pussy and licks up in one, slow stroke.

“M-more, Caleb-” You try to fight the tears that threaten to slide down your cheek, but it’s hard when Caleb continues his ministrations on your cunt. It feels too damn good, and you both know that you’re rapidly reapproaching the climax he so rudely ruined the first time.

Caleb looks up at you, and he can’t help but groans against your cunt at the sight that greets him. Your face is covered in both a light sheen of sweat and tears, and in his twisted mind he wants to lick your cheek just so that he can taste every bit of you. His amethyst eyes go lower, pausing to stare at the way your breasts heave up and down with every breath, down and down until he’s greeted again by the sight of the cunt he’s had dreams about for years.

Your hole is fully leaking by now, begging to be stuffed full of his cock and your clit is swollen from his tongue playing with it. Up above, Caleb can hear you begging to just give you what you want and, well…how can he refuse his girl?

You nearly scream when you feel his lips wrap around your clit, sucking on the sensitive bud while he begins pistoning his fingers in and out of your sloppy cunt. Having gone from a gentle stream of pleasure to a full on tsunami, your brain doesn’t know what to focus on or what to do. You’re about to fall apart at the seams, so you do the only thing you know to do in this moment in time:

You cry out his name.

“Caleb!”

“That’s right, ____.” He commands in a soft yet dangerous voice. His fingers pick up their pace, and a strangled moan leaves your mouth. “I want you to scream, baby. There’s no one here but the two of us so you can be as loud as you fucking want.”

“Oh fuck-” you hiccup, and your fingers tighten against his hair. “Caleb, your Evol-”

“No.” You can feel his head shake his dissent, but it only adds to your pleasure because his lips rub your clit from side to side. He mumbles something under his breath, but you can’t really find it in yourself to care because you’re approaching your climax again and you desperately want to fall apart.

You try to be discreet in your chase, willing yourself to dig your nails into your palm so that he can’t see the way your hands shake. Caleb takes your silence as your plateau, so he doubles his efforts: pistoning his fingers in and out of your pussy and laving little licks on your clit in a bid to bring you to the precipice.

Caleb’s lips pull away from your swollen bud and you try to protest the action by squeezing your thighs shut but he replaces his tongue with his thumb, pressing and rubbing at the nub to placate you. He looks up at your eyes, and you can feel your false bravado crumble at the devilish grin on his face. “You’re awfully quiet up there, pips.”

A broken moan slips out of your mouth, followed by a gasp of his name. “C-caleb-”

“Are you close, baby?”

All of your pride leaves your body at his simple question, and you nod while giving him your sweetest eyes so that he takes pity on you and allows you to cum. “‘m c-close-”

“How close?” Caleb’s fingers gradually pick up their pace, a smooth push and pull in and out of your cunt. You whimper at the feeling, only to whine into the air when you feel his fingers hook up to press into your sweet spot.

“C-close,” you gasp. Your hands leave his hair and you press your palms against your breasts, gently pinching at your nipples so that you can finally push yourself over the edge. You’re so close, you’re about to fall off-

“Not yet.”

Caleb pulls his fingers away from your cunt and you nearly scream in frustration, attempting to close wrap your legs completely around his neck so that his mouth can finish the job. Caleb’s much quicker, however, and he carelessly pushes your knees off his shoulders before standing up and peering down at you with a pleased smile.

“Is my girl desperate?” Caleb’s presence is commanding, but you can’t help but watch his hands as he reaches down to unzip his slacks. “____, I’ve given you so much pleasure but you don’t seem to remember that I’m human too.”

Your breath stops as he pushes the fabric and his boxers down his thighs, and you swallow thickly at the sight of his cock slapping his abs. For all your years living with him when you were kids, you’ve always been mindful of his privacy and never walking in on him naked. Your stomach flips at the length and girth of him, because how in the world is he going to fit into you?

“I’ll make sure I fit.” It’s almost like he’s reading your thoughts, and you look up to see a tender look on his face in response to what’s probably an apprehensive look on your own. He kicks off his underwear and slacks before grabbing at your panties and pulling them down your legs. He releases his Evol on your hips, and you take this as a signal to push yourself up to his headboard while he drops the scrap of fabric onto the floor, and he crawls up the bed so that he can brace himself on his forearms and look down at you.

Caleb smiles softly at you - a far cry from the man who was edging you to the point of tears. Despite everything you smile back, gently nudging your nose with his and eliciting a chuckle from his mouth. He presses a kiss on your cheek and you sigh, taking his sweet action as a chance to reach down and wrapping your hands around his cock.

A strangled sound emerges from the depths of his chest and his head falls to your chest as you pump his length, wanting to give him a fraction of the pleasure you experienced. Caleb’s breathing slowly grows more laboured, but before you can fully achieve your goals he grabs at your hand and stops.

“Not yet,” he slowly grits out, and he pulls your hands off of his cock and pins them both to the headboard with his left hand. His right hand guides his cock to your pussy, and you gasp when you feel his fat tip catch your clit. “I decide when the both of us cum, ____.”

He rolls his hips and you both moan - him from how your slick coats his dick, and you from how his cockhead slightly catches your sopping hole. Your hips buck up so that he can slip inside, but before you can succeed you can feel the telltale weight of his Evol pinning the lower half of your body down and rendering you immobile.

“Fuck you, Caleb,” you grit out through your teeth, and you want nothing more than to bite his neck. He winks at you in response, and he lets go of your wrists before placing both hands on your waist and rubbing comforting circles on your ribcage.

“I’m getting to that,” he jokes, and before you can offer a scathing response he slowly pushes his cock into your cunt. You gasp at the initial pressure of his tip breaching your entrance, but the gasp turns into a long drawn moan the more he forces his thick length - up until he bottoms out, and his balls hit the swell of your ass.

You can barely breathe in your current position - legs spread, his gravity Evol pinning you down to the bed, and your hands gripping the headboard like it’s your last lifeline to your sanity - and maybe it is.

It feels like the knot building in the pit of your stomach could snap at any moment - and Caleb knows it most of all.

“Tell me you want it, ____.” Your eyes flutter back into your skull as he rolls his hips. His cock hits deep inside of you, and a strangled breath makes its way out of your chest when he pulls back slowly.

“C-caleb-!” It’s a plea, and you try to fight against his Evol so that you can link your ankles against the small of his back and pull him closer into your cunt. “P-please-”

“Uh-uh.” It’s annoyingly patient as his left hand reaches out to brush your hair away from your sweaty forehead. His right hand drifts closer to your mound, and you cry out when his cool fingers roll one agonizingly slow circle onto your clit. “Beg, ____.”

You don’t know how, but your stupid pride has you biting your lip as you try to fight his Evol so that you can writhe on his mattress. Your head flips back in frustration, and you can only force out a small, teary “Fuck you.”

“Aren’t I already doing that?” Your pussy flutters at the smirk on his face, and a slight dose of satisfaction fills your chest at the choked moan he forces back, although you’re annoyed at how cocky he still looks. “Beg, ____.”

“No.” You’re proud at how your voice doesn’t waver, although that quickly goes away when you feel his hips pull back more until only his tip remains inside. “W-wait-”

“You know what I’m asking for, ____.” Caleb’s tone is deceptively sweet as he begins to rub circles on your clit, making you cry out in the painful pleasure. “Beg for my cock, and I’ll make you feel so fucking good you’ll want to stay here forever.”

“F-fuck!” You can feel your climax beginning to build again, rising from the plateau he had previously created with your two denied orgasms. Your eyes fall shut and tears escape as your head writhes on his pillow - body held still by his Evol so that you’re forced to feel every bit of pleasure he wreaks onto your body.

Caleb’s hips threaten to snap forward, but he forces himself still as he takes in the view of you underneath his body, barely speared on his cock but already delirious on the pleasure. It fills him with a sick sense of satisfaction - the fearless leader and daring Hunter reduced to a little cockslut writhing on only the tip of his dick. He has half a mind to pull out just so that he can make you sob from the emptiness, but he holds back and continues to rub little circles on your clit until you break.

“C’mon, ____.” It almost sounds teasing, and you sob when you feel yourself on the edge of the precipice - just about to fall off. “Say you want me.”

You’re deliriously out of your mind, and all pride leaves your body when you open your eyes and look at the face that has haunted you in your sleep for the past couple of months. “P-please Caleb! Please make m-me cum-”

“Fuck,” he swears, and you barely register him releasing his gravity hold on your body before he grips your knees and forces them on his shoulders once again, pressing his cock all the way in and hitting your sweet spot in one fell swoop.

“S-shit, Caleb!” It’s a scream as you cum, your eyes sliding shut. Your orgasm washes over your body and consumes you from the inside out, and all you can do is dig your nails into his shoulders to anchor you in the present. Caleb can barely hold himself together when he feels your release pelt at his thighs and balls, and he groans before gripping your calves tighter and drilling himself into your cunt.

“You’re such a slut, ____,” he rumbles as he angles your body up, pistoning his hips so that he can more easily reach your deepest spot. “You came just from me pushing my cock into your pussy? I thought you had more restraint than that.”

“C-caleb.” You’re sobbing at this point, the pleasure bordering pain. “Oh fuck, Caleb-”

He leans down and presses his mouth against your breasts, biting as he continues to thrust in and out of you. His lips create a trail of marks up the column of your neck until they press against your lips. Your mouth falls open easily, and he breathes harshly as your tongue grazes his.

“Look at what I’ve reduced the top Hunter to,” Caleb murmurs with gentle poison. He plants kisses all over your face, and the sweet gesture almost makes you forget that he’s ravaging you. “The sweetest little cockslut who only knows how to scream my name.”

Your only response is to cry out even louder, your hands sliding down and finding purchase on his broad back. Your nails dig into the muscle so that you can try and keep from spiraling deeper into your pleasure, and you’re rewarded with a groan against your mouth.

Caleb’s hips slow to a torturous pace, designed to make you feel every inch of him sliding in and out. Your walls tremble around his aching length and you whimper when he pushes in one final time and stops, letting the both of you catch your breath. Your head swims in your current position - you’re so unbelievably full of his cock, but you want more.

“Caleb.” You can’t hide the desperation in your voice, and your hips tilt just the tiniest bit so that you can feel a fraction of the pleasure he gave you. “I-I wanna c-cum again, please-”

You roll your hips more boldly this time, and he gasps when his tip hits your sweet spot. Your walls flutter and you squeal, your head falling back as you continue to grind yourself on his cock.

All of a sudden, you feel the heaviness of his Evol settle on your hips once more, forcing you to stop. You cry out and try to fight it, but the cool brush of metal on your chin forces you to open your eyes and look up.

And you find your blood running cold.

Because Caleb - oh, you can tell he’s mad.

His lips are straight, and you can tell that he’s holding himself back for the sole purpose of punishing you. His hips pull back until he’s fully unsheathed from your cunt, and you sob at the way your walls clench pathetically at the sudden emptiness.

You need him.

There’s a dark chuckle above you, and you know he can see the desperation on your face. There’s a wet plap!, and you register the sound of his dick slapping against your pussy before feeling it properly. You cry out again, and Caleb takes your open mouth as an opportunity to slap his cock against your cunt again.

He continues his action over and over until you find yourself at the edge again, begging for his cock deep in your pussy. You can barely make out the babbles escaping your mouth - not when you feel so fucking good and you want more.

All of a sudden he stops, and you feel his warm hand gently cupping your cheek. Your eyes open blearily, and you can see the concern on his face as he looks down at you. “You okay, ____?”

Your heart squeezes at the care on his face, and you turn your head so that you can press a kiss against his palm. You can hear his shaky gasp above you, and you look back at him with a small smile on your lips.

“‘’ okay.” It comes out as a slurred whine, and you look up at him imploringly. “I promise, I j-just feel too good.”

He laughs at this, and his head dips down so that he can kiss the skin of your throat. His lips make their way past your chin and all the way up to your lips, where he presses the softest kiss on your mouth that has you melting.

This is your Caleb.

This is the man you love.

You don’t want to say it, though. You don’t want to shatter the illusion.

So you kiss him back slowly, and you pull away before he can deepen your kiss so that you can whisper:

“Please Caleb, I want all of you.”

There’s a standstill as he processes your words, and he doesn’t give you time to think before his Evol is lifting once more so that he can arch your chest up to meet his. Caleb’s mouth presses against your lips once more, and you gasp as you feel his cock entering you once more - giving you exactly what you need.

There are no other sounds in your shared room besides your gasps and the sound of the headboard smacking against your wall. It feels like it’s just you and Caleb - and that’s exactly how you want it to stay.

Caleb grunts as he begins to deepen his thrusts, and he takes a chance to look down at you when he sees that your eyes are closed. His heart swells in his chest at the sight of you - marks on your neck and chest, sweat making your skin glisten, and feeling so good because of him.

He’s suddenly overwhelmed by all of this - all of you. The one he loves more than the entire world, the one he’s kept carefully locked away in the deepest recesses of his memories. He’s adding all of this to that special place. Every excruciating moment spent at the Farspace Fleet is worth it because he’s protecting his love - protecting you.

Caleb leans down, pressing kisses on your lips as he gradually speeds up again. “I’m gonna cum inside this pretty cunt, stuff you full of my cum and make you mine forever.” Each word is emphasized by a messy thrust, and you can barely register what he means because you just feel too good right now. “I’m going to take care of you f-forever, ____. It’ll j-just be us two, baby, f-fuck-”

His hips start to stutter and you cry out when you feel his metal fingers land on your clit, rubbing hard circles and driving you closer and closer to your edge. His warm hand makes its way to your hand, and you squeeze his fingers tightly when your palms meet so that you have something to hold on to when you give yourself completely to him.

“Let’s cum together, ____.” It’s a plea and you both moan when his tip batters at your cervix. His Evol on your body loosens and you immediately grind your hips up to meet his thrusts, making the both of you spiral closer towards your joined end.

“C-caleb,” you hiccup, fat tears rolling down your cheeks. “‘M-m, I’m about to cu-”

“It’s okay, you can cum.” He leans down and presses his lips against your forehead, pressing soft kisses while maintaining his pace so that you can fall off the edge safely. “Cum for me, baby.”

With his permission you finally allow yourself to fall, the knot in your stomach unraveling as you cum. It’s not as painful as the first time - this one is filled with more warmth, accompanied by Caleb’s mouth peppering doting kisses all over your face. You cry out at the duality of his sweet kisses and his hard thrusts, walls fluttering around his thick cock and begging for him to meet you at the end.

Caleb grits his teeth and continues to pump himself into your inviting heat as you writhe underneath him, feeling his hips stutter and his balls tighten at the sound of your sweet gasps and your fluttering walls around him. He brings your fingers up to his mouth and presses reverent kisses on each of your fingertips before bringing your palm to his lips and kissing the skin gently. The sweet gesture makes your eyes open, and you blearily look at him with a blissful haze.

“C-cum for me, Caleb.” It’s a soft command, one that makes him groan as your legs wrap around his waist to pull him in. “I want your cum in me, please Caleb.”

“Oh shit, ____-” He thrusts his cock into you one more time before stilling, his head falling onto your neck as he cums. You whine at the feeling of warmth, your walls weakly pulsing around his cock in an attempt to take all of him. His hands settle on your hips and he squeezes like his life depends on it, and you’re sure that you’ll leave bruises on the delicate skin.

You can’t find it in yourself to care, though. You want all of it.

His head lifts up from your neck, and you can’t help but giggle at the glassy look in his eyes. Your fingers move to push up the sweaty strands away from his forehead, but he catches your hands and pulls it toward his mouth.

You watch as he repeats the same tender action of kissing your fingertips, and your heart aches at the intimacy of it all.

“Are you the Farspace Fleet Colonel or Caleb Xia?”

Your question breaches through the content silence, and you hate that you have to say it. It’s something necessary though - a summary of everything that’s happened between the two of you, and his answer will determine how things go.

Caleb looks at you, a softness in his eyes that has your heart aching. He presses a kiss on your forehead, and he nudges your nose against his own before finally giving you his answer

“I’m both.” You gasp at his words, but his hands gently knead your waist and placate you. “I’m both, and it’s our reality now.”

He kisses your eyelids this time, and you feel your eyes water at the gentle intimacy. “I don’t know how I’ll make it up to you, ____. But I mean what I said. Everything I do is to protect you. I don’t know how, but I’ll make it up to you for as long as you want me to.”

His words taper off as he lets you mull over his meaning. You lips brush over his own, and he leaves a chaste kiss - leading you to come up with your response.

“You can start by cooking breakfast for me tomorrow.” The words are softened by your sleepy tone, and you hum in content at the gentle rumble of his laughter below you. “And by telling me what you remember from the start.”

“I promise.” He seals it with a kiss on your lips, and you smile sleepily at the tender action before you nuzzle yourself into his chest - letting yourself surrender to slumber.

a/n #2: i hope you enjoyed <3 pls leave your thoughts here!

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velaenam · 3 months ago

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𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐛 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 – non!mc. caleb deals with the events after getting deployed. 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 / 𝐭𝐰 – NSFW!! (18+) wartime setting/era, swearing, hand job, mature themes, sexual themes, angst, PAIN. LITERAL ANGUISH notes – not proofread. haha..im so sorry, you'll still love the story right..? right..?? LOL 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 - 2 of 3 | previous chapter / next chapter — reblogs comments & likes are appreciated. let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist!

caleb sits on a rusted ammo crate, elbows on his knees, the weight of the sky pressing down on him. feels like a gut punch. he wants to go home. gunfire echoes in the far hills, sharp and distant like a memory you try not to think about. the air is thick with smoke and burnt earth, but in this moment, everything feels muted—like the world’s holding its breath… for you.

he pulls off one glove with his teeth, fingers fumbling into the fold of his helmet. it’s there, right where he always keeps it. the polaroid. the sweet polaroid of his beloved woman..

it’s a little bent at the corners now. worn from the way he keeps unfolding and folding it. but the image is still clear. your lips are glossed,your eyes laughing and cheeks flush with absolute embarrassment as he held you in an almost bridal position. his hand in your hair. his eyes soft. a piece of warmth in a place that has none.

the girl who called him sweet. the one who laughed at his fake radio voice and looked at him like he was a poem to be loved, not a soldier. he stares at the photo for a long time. like if he looks hard enough, you’d speak. like you’ll lean through the image and remind him he’s still a man. still human. still yours. to come home..

caleb presses the photo to his lips. “soon,” he whispers. his voice barely makes it past the wind. “i promised.”

caleb’s still holding the photo when boots crunch over gravel behind him. he doesn’t look up—he already knows the rhythm of those steps. it’s tom, call sign iceman . loud, lopsided, always dragging his left foot like it owed him money.

“you moonin’ over that girl again, brother?” tom’s thick accent shines through the sounds of planes above them. he grins, plopping down beside him with two steaming tin mugs. he offers one to caleb, who takes it with a quiet nod.

“you’d think she was the only woman in the world, the way ya look at that thing.”

caleb lets out a dry chuckle, tucking the polaroid back into the fold of his helmet like it’s sacred. “she’s not. but she’s the only one that looked at me like i was something worth coming home to.”

tom hums, blowing on his coffee. “mine’s got this way of fussin’ at me when i forget to call her sweetheart. like it’s a crime against the state.” – “you forget on purpose just to hear her yell,” caleb smirks.

“damn right i do,” tom laughs, shaking his head. “that woman’s got fire. married up and i know it. but i love her like life itself. we got two kids already. tryin t’ be there for the third.”

they sit there for a moment, sipping coffee, watching the sun try and fail to break through the smoke-choked sky. he thinks about you, what you’re doing now. wondering if you’re still in that damn bar. maybe he could take your fine ass back home and give you a couple of kids himself.. or maybe he could be your house husband while you put your degree to work. either way, win win for him.

“what’s the first thing you’re gonna do when you get back?” caleb asks, voice low, almost like he’s afraid the question might jinx them.

tom doesn’t hesitate. “take her dancing. somewhere with shitty music and bad lighting. doesn’t matter. i just wanna spin her around till she’s laughing so hard she can’t breathe.”

caleb smiles into his cup. “you soft bastard.” – “what about you, captain war hero– or should i say, lieutenant war hero?” tom bumps his shoulder against caleb’s. “you gonna find your girl and write her a sonnet? propose?”

caleb shakes his head, gaze far away. “nah. not yet. just wanna take her out somewhere quiet. real quiet. where she can wear whatever she wants, and i can hold her hand in the open. maybe get her a slice of apple pie.”

tom squints, quizzical at his odd and random choice of dessert, “apple pie?” a beat as they pause, then, “yeah,” caleb says, eyes soft. “she laughed like apple pie.” – tom blinks. “...what the fuck does that even mean?”

“don’t worry about it,” caleb mutters, cheeks pink, trying to hide behind his mug.

“nah nah, you don’t get to drop poetry on me like you’re some socrates or somethin’ and just walk away from it,” – “socrates wasn’t even a fuckin’ poet.” tom grins. “jesus, you are in love.” caleb shrugs, a small smile forming in his face as he fake punches tom. doesn’t deny it.

they sit in silence for a bit longer, the kind of quiet that only happens between people who’ve nearly died together. then caleb says, almost too soft to hear, “i promised her i’d come back.”

tom’s palm connects with calebs chest, patting him in a brotherly manner. “then you better keep that promise.”

dear captain caleb,

i don’t even know where to start. it’s been a month since that night, and somehow i still hear your voice in my head like it’s trying to call me back on a poor shoddy makeshift radio i don’t have. “10-4, captain caleb out.” i still laugh when i think about it. you were so serious about it too. pardon my french but that was kinda sexy. you should pretend to be a pilot next time we make love ;) .

... i miss you. i miss you so bad it feels like i swallowed a stone and it never passed. i’ve replayed that night more times than i can count—how your fingers fit between mine, how you kissed me like i was something soft and fragile. i know we didn’t have a label or promises or anything, but god, caleb… you made me feel chosen. and i’ve been holding onto that feeling like life is depending on it.

i graduated. can you believe that? your girl finally made it out with a degree and a tiny piece of paper that says i’m supposed to know what i’m doing now. i still don’t. but hey—i’m the manager at the bar now. yeah. me. in charge. the same girl who threw a bottle of tequila at a patron for slapping her ass.

they still do “thank you troops” night, and sometimes i wonder if the bell will ring and it’ll be you walking in, tired but looking for me. i know it’s stupid. i know how this works. but i still glance at the door more than i want to admit…

anyway—this letter’s getting long, and i know you probably don’t have time for much reading. so i’m tucking a little surprise in with this. it’s... well. let’s just say it’s a polaroid of me. not one you’ve seen before. think burlesque..risque. think red silk and not a whole lot else. thought maybe if you missed me—really missed me—you’d want something to look at that might help.

don’t worry. it’s just for you.

come back safe, caleb. i mean it. i don’t care how long it takes. just come back. you still owe me that date, remember?

all my love, the girl who still thinks you’re a war hero– which.. you will be after you come back.

♡

caleb reads the letter twice. once with trembling fingers. twice with a shaking breath. he’s sitting alone in the back of the hangar, a single bulb swaying above his head, casting long shadows on the concrete. the air smells like oil and gunpowder and something dying in the distance. but your words cut through the static, warm and bright like you wrote them in candlelight. he sits in silence as he listens to troops around him outside, but not in the room.

his thumb grazes the edge of the polaroid. thinking about it.. burlesque red. lace and soft skin. your smile like a secret only he gets to know. the kind of picture that could kill a man in the middle of war.

caleb exhales hard through his nose, leaning forward, elbows on his knees. he presses the photo to his forehead like it might cool the storm behind his eyes.

“fuck,” he mutters. caleb was a powerful man, but lust was a different beast.

the longer he stared your beautiful lingerie the harder his dick twitched. to press his fingers against your soft and supple breast, and to kiss every inch of you again like he did that night. the translucent fabric leaves little to no imagination as he fumbles his belt, unzipping his uniform.

he was rock hard. his cock twitching to be inside you, to watch you suck him dry. caleb stares at the photo as he palms the tip of his dick, his moans quiet like a mouse, but his pleasure skyrocketing. his jaw tightens, teeth gritting at how divine it felt. he was long overdue to cum.

his fingers trace his tip, slowly tracing circles until he got tired and slow stroked himself, lazily and slowly thrusting into his hands. he rubs his cock on your polaroid, imagining that it was your skin that he was rubbing it on. his moan grew an octave louder, thanking god that the sounds of tanks, planes and helicopters– and men shouting, were stifling his voice.

though – he felt shameless. he was jacking himself off in the middle of a battlefield, but he needed this. he needed to give into his pleasure, because after all, you did send him such a beautiful photo to remind him that he was still a man, that you missed him greatly and dearly.

caleb starts to thrust harder, his fingers wrapping tighter on his cock. his face red with want and embarrassment as he stared down at your gorgeous smiling face. he bites his lip, to silence himself. it was loud but he still wanted to not chance it.

he keeps pumping until he feels his head spin. his heart beat quickens, his breath getting ragged and his carnal instinct overtaking him. his cum shoots– into your risque polaroid, and his eyes roll back slightly, thinking as if his cum just landed on your beautiful face in front of him.

he catches his breath, ragged with need, as he quickly goes to wipe the polaroid off from his nut, and quickly cleans himself, before zipping his pants and getting ready to go back out.

caleb’s name echoes through the camp.

“lieutenant caleb, sir! you’re needed at the ridge, immediately! colonels orders! ”

he stands immediately, instincts snapping into place like clockwork. the softness in his shoulders fades, replaced by the rigid posture of someone who can’t afford to hesitate- especially with that sound of urgency. he tosses the rest of his coffee, glancing once at tom, who sits on a dented supply crate chowing down on a chili mre like fat kid with cake.

“hold down the fort?” caleb says, already halfway to the tent flap.

“yeah, yeah. go be heroic, lieutenant,” tom nods with a mock salute.

the flap swings shut behind caleb, leaving tom in the dust of his wake. tom rolls his eyes, stretches his back, then turns toward caleb’s cot. it’s nothing special. just a stiff mattress, dusty boots beneath it, and caleb’s personal sack propped against the side like always. the one no one’s allowed to touch.

except caleb left it half open today. tom doesn’t mean to snoop, he swears he doesn’t, but something peeks out—just enough to catch his attention. a photo.

he blinks, leaning forward, the corner of the image curled just enough for him to pull it free. he expects the bartender girl. the polaroid caleb always kept close, the one he waxed poetic over like she was god’s own muse.

but it’s not her.

it’s another woman with soft, proud eyes, —nothing like the girl with the saddened smile at the dock. this woman’s holding a baby. maybe 11 months old. curly hair. wide cheeks. a onesie with ducks on it.

tom freezes.

the handwriting on the back is delicate, almost like a whisper.

our baby says goodnight, always waiting for you, and so am i. love, mc.

tom exhales, slow and shaky, holy shit! he stares at the photo a second longer, the reality sinking in like cold water.

“you son of a bitch…” he mutters. he puts the picture back exactly where he found it, seals the sack shut, and sits back down on the crate, mind spinning. he looks toward the tent flap, still swaying from where caleb had disappeared.

so many things suddenly make sense.

the silence. the restraint. the almost in caleb’s eyes whenever he talked about you.

tom drags a hand down his face, like he was guilty by association.

caleb was never just in love.

he was already someone else’s.

“ this dumb fucking bastard. ”

i hadn’t seen him in a year and a half.. i wonder if he misses me.. the letters stopped coming about a couple months ago.. i wasn’t given any updates on what was going on, and if… he was…no... all i know is that– i miss him. i miss the scent of him when he hugged me. i miss the way he calls me sweetheart.. i want him home.

“mommy mommy!” my eyes snap open, to see my beautiful baby boy babbling to me in his high chair. i blink slowly before i give him a sweet little grin, as i go to pinch his cheeks and raise the bowl to feed him.

after he goes to take a nap, i go to the bathroom. i lift my hands on the cold sink, staring deeply into my face. eye bags, messy hair– when was the last time i even went out with my friends? i don’t look good.

the baby woke up crying again. third time tonight? maybe fourth. i’ve honestly stopped counting. i lift him from the cradle, his tiny fists balled up like he’s fighting the whole world. his cheeks are flushed, lashes stuck together with tears. snot from the crying. i hold her against my chest as i pat him back to sleep– or as best as i can, but i go on. i bounce him gently, swaying as i stare off into the window and the moon. my back hurts. my wrist hurts. and my heart.. oh my heart.

they sit down. her back hurting from the walk. caleb was careful, gentle, as he held her and supported her on her way down to the chair. he sits next to her, his widened childish grin very visible. he then takes a look at the sky as if he’s daydreaming in a field full of flowers. his merriment, a sign that this was his dream: “i’m so excited pipsqueak. i love you. i can’t wait to be a father.”

‘you were so proud of me. of the baby growing inside me. you’d kiss my stomach every night like it was sacred tradition.’ i tear up at the thought, lips trembling with overwhelming sadness. ‘god i wish you were here.’

i open my eyes, listening to the trumpets go off. i lay there longer than i stay awake. the peacefulness surrounds me as if i am in heaven. no crying. just silence as the trumpets die down. i can’t believe i’m saying this but– i’m happy for the silence. it reminds me that there are good parts in life.. not that the baby is bad…

i used to daydream about being a mom. i thought i’d be better at it. softer. more patient. but i get angry sometimes. not at the baby, never him. just at the world. at caleb. at myself for crying quietly into my pillow so my son doesn’t have to see me fall apart.

i go through the motions like muscle memory. warm bottle, rock him gently, hum a lullaby even though my throat is raw. and sometimes, only sometimes, i talk to caleb out loud like he’s still here. like he’ll answer me back from the hallway or the kitchen, rubbing sleep from his eyes and wrapping his arms around my waist like he used to.

“i folded your shirts the way you like,” i whisper sometimes, even though no one’s listening.

today i found one of his old t-shirts. the one he wore religiously back when we were in college. his aviation shirt that he wore loud and proud like a silly kid. it was stuffed in the back of the closet like a forgotten piece of a past life. i held it against my face. it didn’t smell like him anymore. it just smelled like time. it looked like time as well. it was worn out– can’t even make out the words anymore.

i sat on the bathroom floor and cried until my stomach cramped. the kind of sobbing that makes you want to scream but you can’t because the baby’s asleep in the next room.

i just want someone to take care of me for once. sometimes i wonder if he’s still mine. i don’t want to think that. i feel sick for even writing it. but when the letters stopped coming, something inside me went quiet. and that silence has been growing.

maybe he’s just too busy. maybe he doesn’t know what to say. maybe something happened. or….. or… maybe he’s found someone who doesn’t look like she’s unraveling at the edges.. who is happier.. or prettier…. god, i hope not. but the fear lives here now. curled up next to me in bed, whispering things i try not to believe. but i still set his plate out at dinner. every night. just in case. i feel like a stupid woman gone insane, but i can’t help it.

i heard the door before i heard my name. the jingle of keys. the shuffle of boots. then…his voice.

“baby?”

i froze. hands still in the dishwater, heart leaping into my throat. i almost didn’t believe it. i didn’t move until i saw his silhouette in the kitchen doorway.

it was him. god, it was really him.

caleb.

my caleb.

i dropped the dish towel and ran. threw my arms around him so hard i thought we might both fall over. he caught me like he always used to—arms strong, steady, wrapped around me like armor. i sobbed into his neck, breathing in the scent of dust and metal and something familiar underneath it all.

“you’re home,” i whispered, voice cracking. “just for a few days,” he said.

i nodded against his chest, too busy memorizing his heartbeat to care about the details. our son stirred from the other room, like he could feel something had shifted. caleb looked toward the sound, then down at me.

his face didn’t match mine. i was all joy and disbelief. he was... something else. tired. distant. ready.

we sat on the couch later that evening. our son asleep in his arms, little fists balled up against caleb’s chest. it was one of those picture-perfect moments. one i would’ve killed for six months ago. then he cleared his throat.

“i pulled some strings,” he said, softly. i blinked. “what?”

it was quiet…. the quiet that i had experienced months and months ago…

“i... arranged something. the papers should be finalized by sunday.”

papers?

it didn’t hit me all at once. it sort of hovered there between us, like fog creeping in through the cracks. then i saw it. the manila envelope on the coffee table…

divorce.

“you’re kidding,” i said, even though i already knew he wasn’t. he shook his head. didn’t look at me. just cradled our baby like he couldn’t look at both of us at once.

“caleb,” i said, and my voice cracked on his name like it didn’t want to come out. “you’re divorcing me? this weekend?” he nodded. still quiet. like being silent would make it softer.

i wanted to fucking vomit. to throw all his shit out of the house. to slap him. to break down.

“after everything? after this?” i gestured toward the baby, toward the house, toward the life i’d been dragging uphill by myself for a year and a half. “you came home just to leave me?”

he finally met my eyes. and that’s when i saw it. he wasn’t just tired. he was already gone.

“you came home just to..... leave me?” my voice is barely a whisper now. he nods. again. silent. again….that’s what sets me off.

“no. no, fuck that, caleb – say something. don’t just sit there and nod like this is something we both agreed to. i have been waiting for you faithfully. i have been fighting for you. for us. i raised your son by myself, and you walk in here and hand me paperwork to fill out like im a fucking kid with homework?”

his jaw tightens, his eyes darken. he doesn’t look away this time. “don’t act like you didn’t know this was coming.” i blink. “what the hell is that supposed to mean?”

caleb sets our sleeping son down on the couch with careful, practiced hands– like a man who still remembers how to be gentle.. and.. and it breaks me even more. he rises slowly, rubbing the back of his neck, and for a second i see the tension brewing in his shoulders like a thunderstorm.

“i’m not stupid, okay?” he says finally. “i’ve seen the way you talk about zayne.” my stomach drops, “…what?”

“don’t play dumb,” he snaps, sharper than i’ve ever heard him. “it’s always zayne this, zayne that. you write him letters. you talk about how he helped you fix the fence. how he brings you groceries when it storms. how he’s always there. comforting you. you think i don’t see what that means?”

“zayne is our friend–”

“was,” caleb cuts in. “was my friend. now he’s just the guy you fell in love with while i was out in the sky getting shot at.”

i reel back like he slapped me. “you think i planned that? you think i wanted to fall apart while you were gone? do you know how lonely it’s been, caleb? how empty this house felt without you? i was holding on by threads, and zayne…he– he didn’t ask for anything. he didn’t touch me. he just showed up.”

caleb scoffs, shaking his head, pacing now. “yeah. of course he did. he’s always been waiting for the right moment, hasn’t he?” i feel my chest heaving. the hurt burning so hot it almost blisters from the fucking pain. “i never slept with him.”

“you didn’t have to,” caleb says quietly. “you gave him the part of you that used to be mine.”

silence. that’s the one that breaks me. my arms wrap around myself, more out of instinct than comfort. i feel naked. exposed. furious. broken. “so that’s it?” i ask. “you come home, accuse me of being in love with zayne, drop a divorce on my lap, and just go?” he doesn’t answer at first.

then: “ i pulled strings to make sure it wouldn’t drag. this way, you can move on.”

“i didn’t ask to move on.” – “but you already did,” he says, and it’s not angry anymore. it’s just tired. wrecked. resigned. “and i think i did too.”

i pause. he was like a bastard, repeatedly dropping weights on me. and every weight weighed more and more.

“did you?” he looks at me. and that’s when i know. he won’t say it. but i see it in his eyes. there’s someone else. somewhere. someone who’s not me.

“get out,” i whisper. “what?”

“i said get the fuck out.”

sunday.

caleb sits on the hard bench in the waiting area outside the clerk’s office, back straight, hands in his lap. the papers are in a folder on his lap– signed, dated, pre-reviewed. the military expedited the process, which he thought would make it easier. cleaner. quick in, quick out. no mess. a thin stack of papers that’s about to undo years of life built together. it’s strange how light it feels.

he thought it would feel heavier. the door opens, and he doesn’t need to look up to know it’s her. he does anyway. she looks tired. not just tired– worn. her hair is pulled back messily, like she barely remembered to brush it. her coat is rumpled, one sleeve slightly pushed up. there’s no lipstick, no perfume. her eyes are puffy, red at the edges. she looks like she’s been crying in the car. behind her, zayne lingers. not close enough to touch her. just there. quiet, like a shadow.

caleb’s jaw tenses. she meets his gaze, then looks away. “hi,” she says, voice hoarse. he stays silent, then:

“hey.”

they don’t hug. don’t touch. they just move into the office when they’re called, sitting stiffly across from each other with a worn wooden desk between them. the clerk is polite. efficient. her voice is soft, like she’s handling something delicate.

caleb signs the papers first. his hand doesn’t shake. he doesn’t look at her.

she signs second. hers does. she presses a tissue to her nose halfway through and quietly whispers “sorry” when her tears blot the edge of the signature line.

he can’t help it– his eyes flick over to her. and for just a second, something inside him aches. not for the marriage. not for what they had. but for her, looking like this. alone. Undone.

he clears his throat. doesn’t say anything. when the clerk brings up custody, he answers before the question is finished.

“i’m not asking for it.”

her head snaps up. “what?” and without a beat missed, “you’re already raising him. you’ve been doing it without me for a year and a half.” he keeps his voice level, calm. “i won’t fight you on it. he should be with you.” she blinks, like she wasn’t expecting it. like maybe some part of her thought he would make this harder. she was unravelling by the second.

“i’ll pay support,” caleb adds. “whatever you need. that won’t stop.” she nods, silent, jaw tight. this was no longer a battle she could fight. he was hellbent, and he never usually was.

zayne hasn’t said a word this entire time. just sits near the corner of the room, arms crossed, gaze cast downward. caleb notices the way he glances over every now and then, eyes flicking toward her like he wants to step in, to say something, to help— but knows better. because if he did, he’d get knocked the hell out.

when it’s done, the clerk gives them copies and a muted “take care.” caleb tucks his into the folder and stands. no one moves to speak. “guess that’s it,” he says. she wipes at her eyes and doesn’t look up. “yeah.” caleb takes one look at her before he mumbles,

“take care, pipsqueak.” that did it for her.

caleb turns toward the door. as he passes zayne, their eyes meet for a second. just a flicker. there’s no fight. no words. just quiet understanding between two men who both lost and gained something neither of them can name. as he walks out of the door, he could briefly hear the faint sobs of his now ex wife. steel your nerves. he’d say to himself.

outside, the sky is gray. the air is damp. caleb doesn’t bother pulling his coat tighter– he doesn’t feel the cold right now. when he gets to the car, he sits for a while. he doesn’t start the engine.

instead, he reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out the photo.

you.

the bartender girl, all red silk and soft smiles. frozen in time, untouched by war, by marriage, by regret. he holds it there in his hand. and stares. and stares.

until something inside him starts to break loose and his chest pulls tight and he realizes…

he really did it.

it’s over. he can be with you like the way you deserve.

the station is louder than he remembered. or maybe he’s just quieter now. boots scuffing across the dirt, pilots calling out over static, the occasional mechanical clang from the hangar bay. it should feel like coming back to something familiar…. but it doesn’t.

caleb steps off the transport with his duffel over one shoulder and the same folder still tucked under his arm. the one with all the paperwork. he hasn’t let go of it yet. not really.

it doesn’t feel like closure. it just feels cold.

“look what the desert dragged back,” tom says, leaning against a stacked crate near the comms tent, squinting against the sun. “you look like a ghost.”

caleb lets a half-smile tug at the corner of his mouth. “feel like one too.” tom falls into step beside him, the kind of easy rhythm only forged through long nights and near-death moments. they head toward the barracks, letting the silence settle in like dust.

then, tom breaks it. voice casual, but not careless. “so uh… just so you know… i, uh… might’ve snooped.” caleb glances over, one brow raised. “your sack was open. when you left. didn’t mean to, but a photo was sticking out.”

caleb doesn’t react much. just keeps walking, a part of him smiles inside, chuckling almost. felt like two teenagers walking to class. “you see it?” he asks eventually.

“yeah. your wife. the baby. looked like a holiday card. kinda gut-punching, actually.” caleb’s quiet for a beat. then shrugs, slow and tired. “yeah, that’s whatever.” tom snorts, but there’s no humor in it. “doesn’t feel like ‘whatever.’ why keep it at all?if you were gonna go through with the divorce anyway.”

caleb stops walking. shifts the weight of his duffel, then lowers it onto the ground with a soft thud. his voice is quiet when he answers.

“i feel like a damn deadbeat.”

another pause. tom allows his friend to be soft. “he’s my kid, tom,” he says, voice rough. “he didn’t ask to be part of this mess. didn’t choose to be born to a father who didn’t know what the fuck he was doing.”

tom blinks. doesn’t say anything. just waits. caleb sits on the edge of his bunk, running a hand through his hair. “i wasn’t there when he was born. wasn’t there for his first steps. first words. i don’t know if he likes sweet potatoes or if he sleeps on his side like i do. i honestly don’t even know what eye color he has. since we got married i got pulled away to different missions, different countries... i missed everything.”

his voice gets quieter.

“and now i’ve made sure i’ll miss everything else.” tom exhales, cigarette burning slowly between his fingers. “you think that makes you a deadbeat?” — “what else does it make me?” caleb mutters. “some guy who left. who paid his way out.”

“you could’ve stayed.” caleb shakes his head, jaw tightening. “i didn’t love her, tom.”

that makes tom freeze. not because it’s shocking, but because it confirms what he’s suspected all along. “i married her because her grandmother backed me into a corner. old school– bloodlines, family name, all that shit. said if i didn’t marry her, i’d be ruining her future. ruining the baby’s. and i mean.. we’re childhood friends. man and woman who were stuck to the hip since we opened our damn eyes. what do you think would happen?”

tom leans against the frame of the bunk, arms crossed now, expression unreadable. “so you did the honorable thing.” “yeah,” caleb scoffs, bitter. “the honorable thing. and then resented it every day after.”

he rubs his hands over his face, voice muffled.

“i didn’t want to live like that. i didn’t want to live at all, for a while. war sounded cleaner than divorce. sounded easier. go out a hero, leave them a folded flag and a paycheck. maybe that would’ve been enough.”

“jesus fuckin’ christ, caleb.” — “i’m not proud of it.”

a long silence. then caleb reaches into his pocket. pulls out the polaroid. the other one.

the dock photo. holding you up, cheek to cheek.

tom glances at it, then back at caleb.

“her.”

“yeah.”

“you in love?”

caleb doesn’t answer right away. he turns the photo over in his hands like it might give him the words he doesn’t know how to say. “she made me feel like i wasn’t already dead,” he murmurs. “like there was still a version of me worth saving. even if it was just for a few hours.”

tom’s quiet, nodding slowly. “you ever gonna tell her about all this?” caleb shrugs.

“maybe..” a pause, “and what if she doesn’t want a man with this kind of wreckage?”

“then i’ll let her go,” caleb says, folding the photo back into his coat. “but i’d rather show her the wreckage than keep pretending it never happened.”

the sirens come fast.

no warning. no time to breathe. one second the base is still, the next it’s pure chaos—alarms screaming, boots slamming the ground, red lights flashing across hangar walls.

tom drops his cigarette and grinds it under his boot. “shit.” caleb doesn’t say a word. he’s already running.

the two of them sprint for the flight line, gear half-strapped, adrenaline thundering louder than the blaring horns. behind them, explosions crack through the sky. someone yells “incoming!” and the tarmac rattles under the weight of something falling from above.

enemy aircraft. sharp and fast.

caleb throws on his helmet, grabs the throttle, and thinks of you.

your laugh. your voice. your body tangled in his. that polaroid you gave him, tucked inside his flight suit.

you don’t know he’s up here. you don’t know he’s about to throw himself into the fire just to make sure there’s still a chance in hell he can see you again. he launches. followed by tom.

the sky’s already on fire– jets slicing through clouds, tracer rounds burning white-hot through the air. caleb banks left, tight and fast, heart hammering in his chest like it’s trying to rip through the suit. tom’s voice crackles in the comms. “got three bastards comin' in at 4 o’clock.”

“i see ’em.” he dives.

you flash behind his eyes again. your lipstick. your fingertips trailing down his neck. the way you looked at him like he wasn’t a soldier—like he was a man. a man you wanted. a man you trusted.

he can’t let this sky be the last place his name is spoken. “you better be waitin’ for me,” he mutters under his breath. “i swear to god, you better be.”

one enemy fighter locks on. missile warning blares. caleb twists, rolls under the fire, pressure slamming him into his seat. another pass. he clips the wing of the bastard on his tail– watches it spiral down in smoke and heat.

“two down,” he says, breath sharp. “how you holdin’ up?”

“still alive,” tom calls. “barely.”

caleb grits his teeth. turns hard into a climb, missile lock blinking red again. he pulls vertical, bleeding speed, letting the other jet overshoot him—and fires.

clean hit. the sky erupts again. you’re the only thing anchoring him now. not duty. not guilt. not even the kid he left behind. you.

you, waiting behind some bar, maybe still laughing with customers, maybe wearing red. maybe reading his letter and wondering if he means it.

he does. he means every goddamn word.

the final wave hits harder. three more fighters, slick and ruthless. caleb grits his teeth, pushes his jet harder. he’s burning fuel fast. sweat beads down the side of his face. “come on. come on.” he twists through a hail of gunfire, missiles clipping just behind him, smoke trailing in his wake. he feels the vibration in his bones.

you are the reason he’s still moving. still breathing. still alive. he’s not fighting for survival. he’s fighting to see your face again.

and if he makes it through this—

he’s going to find you. and tell you everything.

totally did not get emotional writing this.

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ! - @leannathespacewerewolf , @rcvcgers, @sanzy4, @flwerie, @mcdepressed290, @genshingeeksworld, @rena-library, @petitepacifist, @kaemaybae,

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aethercoreria · 21 days ago

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lowkey hate non MC fics

not for the reason you think. I love a non MC fic where reader isn't MC because of AU/OC reasons, author doesn't self insert or does so differently, just because the author feels like it, MC is her own separate character for the plot etc. No issue there.

But I'm baffled tbh when it comes to a certain type. Why would you even want to be the third wheel or disposal placeholder even in your imagination? Over a fictional man?🥀🥀....That a billion dollar renowned greedy ass company created to elicit strong emotions from you so you can keep paying them for months and years?....🥀🥀 Oh my God, stand UP!

The LIs looking at you 👁👄👁 watching you lament in self imposed anguish over being the side chick...in your own self ship (if you choose to ofc!)....in your own imagination...When this is canonically a multiverse type of story with infinite endings....Yet you always choose the one where you lose? Not even Xavier is this...(this is a strong word but) pathetic over Lumiere like please.

I do think MC has a strong personality but (ugh cw defending Infold🤮) the writers hands are tied here. If she's too bland, many of us would lose interest and call her a doormat pick me. If she has some personality, the people who can't relate to her are feeling disconnected which is valid but still. MC's personality is also more fluid than the writers are given credit for. The way MC acts with e.g. Sylus or even Caleb, she would never with Zayne I'd bet you anything. We're also forgetting how much of personality is shaped by our environment and circumstances so there's a good chance you're more similar than you think, yknow?

I personally like MC but she's not perfect omfg! Sitting there like oh no I could never match up to this actually very everywoman ass lady who's sometimes rude, cranky, puts her foot in her mouth, childish and fucks up sometimes. On a semi related note, it's good that MC is very obviously not some angelic paragon of virtue because that does not stop the LIs from loving her so wholeheartedly.

I also hate how the LIs are portrayed. It is a scummy thing to play around with the feelings of people you're not that into when you're in love with someone else. I'm confident in saying they'd break your heart in the short term by shutting it down from the start than long term by stringing you along. Omg. Like no wtf I'll die on the hill Zayne and Xavier of all people in the world are not having a fake relationship with you while pining for MC every second. All of them of ofc but I have to emphasise my mains. They'll be some single ass yearners instead of using you as romantic collateral damage like what kind of trash ass man do you take them for???

Okay let me end it here or I'll keep yapping but tldr; pull yourself together and stop mischaracterising the LIs so you can sit in self pity and pretend you're so unlovable even a fictional man created to do just that, mind you, would leave you when you are literally his main character. Some of the worst people I know irl have partners obsessed with them, I promise you, your main would choose you too.

#love and deepspace #Zayne #Xavier #Rafayel #Sylus #Caleb #lads x reader #lads zayne #lads xavier #lads rafayel #lads sylus #lads caleb #lads x non mc

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dumbkiri · 19 days ago

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𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐀𝐊 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐒 12

χα∂єη яισяѕση χ ƒ! мαιяι! яєα∂єя

ησтє: multiple pov's, so I apologize for the scatter narratives, but it will make sense in the next part. the ending is a little abrupt because it will be in mc/xaden's pov and I don't want it to be a rewrite for you all. bear with me, this series is almost over

ρℓσт: the battle starts and you can only do so much to earn the ending you want.

LIAM

My sister has been the foundation Sloane and I have stood on for a long time. Ever since our parents passed and we got separated, we made a promise to see each other in the college of death. It’s what [Name] called it for a while because all the Marked Ones were sent there to basically die.

Sloane liked her humor, and I told her she could work on it. [Name] laughed and told us that making people laugh wasn’t exactly a skill for her. We said our goodbyes and I saw a fire light up in her. That day we made a promise and she made one for herself.

Her first year, she wrote letters for us to read and I hate to compare it to Violet. But it seemed like they were just alike, but on opposite sides of the world. [Name] faced off a group of bullies and bonded to one of the biggest dragons known in our history. Violet had faced a couple of bullies because of what her name carried and she also bonded to a large dragon and a young one.

They both fell in love with the same man; Xaden Riorson. And it has brought the two of them great pain loving a man like him. I can finally see how it tore my sister apart. How the relationship between Xaden and Violet broke her down to pieces.

I can see the pain she holds in her eyes the way she looks at him. She is trying to forgive him, it’s obvious. I can also see the hurt Violet carries in her own eyes. To blame my brother for their anguish isn’t right because it’s not his fault. It’s the bond between Sgaeyl and Tairn.

I hate the idea of love triangles. Because someone is always bound to get left behind and watching my sister burn the letter directed at her made something inside me burn too. I’ve done enough leaving her in the shadows, we all have. I want to be there for her like her letters helped me through this year.

I want to be the brother protecting her like she’s been the sister protecting me. I don’t care about the real history between us. How she’s a foster and that there is no blood between us shared. Because I don’t accept that. I won’t.

She is and will always be [Name] Mairi to me. To Sloane. To our parents. [Name] is our older sister, my parents' older daughter. She is a part of the Mairi Family.

“You know my answer, Xaden,” [Name] wiped the ash on the tips of her fingers on her leathers, “I’m not running away from this fight. They expect us to die, but I won’t let it happen. As long as we have our air superiority, I can cloak us.”

“How many at a time without burning out?” Xaden questioned.

“I can cloak two including my dragon,” She admitted and explained further, “Lenin’s size takes up a lot, but I can cloak the rest of you by switching the focus.”

“And me?” Violet stepped up, asking a very important question. After the Flier incident and threatening families, it seemed like [Name] didn’t like Violet one bit. So the question came up, “Can you cloak Tairn while cloaking Lenin?”

I drew my attention to my sister’s blue eyes and something flickered inside them. Like a red gleam. She nodded her head and said, “Yes, I will do that if your life is in immediate danger.”

Immediate danger.

All of us were going to be in immediate danger once we took flight. Her answer didn’t help any of us because [Name]’s cloak is under her guidance. She will cloak who she wants to save the most. And Violet Sorrengail is at the bottom of her list.

“Wow, you guys are still doubting me,” [Name] scoffed then she pointed at the direction where the venin have been attacking relentlessly, “do you see the civilians running down there? Fathers carrying their daughters, sons leading their mothers? They have nothing but gryphons and our dragons to evacuate them. Their life is in immediate danger. Don’t make me choose you over them, unprotected civilians over dragon riders. Now let’s move.”

I hate it when she’s right. It makes me feel guilty thinking she wanted Violet to be in danger. But in truth, her main focus is the people running away with their families trying their best to survive the venin attacks. We have no room to doubt her signet or her power and Lenin’s strength.

She jogged away from us with tense shoulders and Lenin shot up into the sky when she mounted him in record time. [Name] didn’t wait for Xaden’s command or to see if any one of us decided to fall back. She ran to her dragon and into the fight like she expected an outcome.

“[Name] is right,” Xaden spoke up, addressing us with a different air of authority, “The civilians are going to be her priority, so do not do anything stupid. One mistake can lead to death. We won’t know where she’ll be, but remember that she’s watching over us. You’ll know the moment you’re cloaked, it won’t be a hard feeling to miss.”

“When you’re cloaked try to get out of combat to allow [Name] to focus back on the civilians,” Garrick chimed in and looked back at Xaden for any more orders.

“Anyone want to change their minds?”

His eyes landed on Bodhi’s, Imogen’s, everyone down the line and no one answered. [Name] is already on the field supporting the Drift and their civilians. Now it’s our turn to meet up with her and provide unwavering support.

She doesn’t have to be the brave one. We have her back too.

“Good. Now mount up.”

…

IMOGEN

“You can’t reach Lenin when he’s cloaked?” I asked Glane as we flew into the darkening sky. It adds more unsettling weight in our surroundings which is filled with explosions and screaming families.

“No. But I trust him. Wherever he is, he’ll be safe.” Glane banked left dodging the falling clocktower Violet took out with Tairn. His fire incinerated the clocktower, but unfortunately the venin inside survived the blast with no fucking harm done. These things are straight up impossible to kill on dragonback. We have to get up close and personal with them.

“There is more than one wyvern,” Glane relays to me and I have the sudden urge to curse the Gods until a cold feeling covers me. Then Glane dives down with a tuck of her wings and I swear a gust of wind almost knocks me off her back. A screech sounds over us and I look up to see a wyvern taking flight higher with a shake of its head.

“Imogen, are you alright!” [Name] shouted down the shared bond. Her voice brings me back to our shit reality.

“What the fuck? Did it try to grab me?” I ask with my heart thrumming against my ribcage.

“It did, but Glane reacted just in time. Please, pay attention to your surroundings. I have to help the rest evacuate the civilians in the mine.” [Name]’s determination faded away with the bond as did the coldness over my dragon and I. We were back in the battle and Glane was suddenly dodging random lightning strikes. She has no problem evading them, but it's an obstacle we don’t need.

“Fuck, I wish I can tell Violet some words like ‘Aim for the enemy, not us!’” I sarcastically growl out in mild frustration while Glane banks left then right maneuvering around the uncontrolled strikes. She needs to get out of this area.

“We cannot touch the ground.” Glane informs me and in slow motion I see why. Soleil and her dragon are utterly broken down on the ground. They’re all shriveled up and I immediately look away from them, the sorrow reaching my dragon down the bond.

“We will avenge them,” Glane reassures me, “Tairn and his rider believe that if we kill the wyvern, their riders will die. Let’s focus on that.”

“Okay,” I breathed out a shaky sigh and focused on the now.

…

VIOLET

While trying to protect Xaden, I haven’t taken notice of the wyvern hot on Tairn’s tail. It’s gaining speed on him and I see the blue fire it spews at us from below thanks to Xaden’s shout. “Bank!” I shout down the bond and out loud, holding my breath as Tairn rolls to the left.

Tairn straightens out when we narrowly dodge the fire, but the wyvern is still after us. Its mouth dangerously close to chewing out Tairn’s side until a thick moon shaped daggertail pierces its head with lethal precision.

Blood of the wyvern splattered on Tairn’s side and barely reached me. The tail flicks upward and the wyvern’s neck ends up being crushed by large, sharp teeth. Ensuring the kill, the spotted dragon lets go of the dead wyvern, the blood of it tainting his white patches.

I look up to see Lenin and his rider glaring at me with their menacing silence. Like they were scolding me, Are you trying to get my loved ones killed! Lenin then dips downward letting out a roar so deep it sounded like a threat to me. He and [Name] disappear and keep helping the remaining civilians as we fight for the wyvern’s attention. But when we take to the sky, higher and higher, to catch up with how many we have left I spot Liam and Deigh in trouble.

Trouble that [Name] cannot focus on because the civilians she is cloaking right now are so close to safety. “We have to help Liam!” I shout and Tairn agrees with me, picking up his speed and heading to Liam. My heart drops at the serious and scary maneuver Liam and Deigh perform. Liam runs down his dragon’s back and when he reaches his tail, Deigh flicks up so Liam can gain air time.

Then with incredible agility, Liam lands on the wyvern’s rear and with powerful strides, he runs at the venin with the staff. Liam slices at the venin’s neck with the runed dagger and surprises me with the lethality and fire in his eyes. With the venin dead, the wyvern’s wings stop beating and begin to fall in a matter of seconds.

Deigh catches Liam when he jumps off and again, I am caught off guard when a wyvern approaches from the left. But Tairn is quick to react like always and flips over so his claws can catch the creature. His morningstar tail rips the wyvern from throat to tail then levels himself out, the blood of the wyvern trailing on the ground.

I can’t seem to catch my breath, Tairn is reacting and moving too fast for my brain to stop spinning. Another wyvern makes its presence known and dives down from the cover of a cloud with a nosedive headed for us. With not enough time to maneuver away from it, I try to channel despite the dangers of it.

Although, a flash of red blinds my vision and Deigh is here, driving straight into the wyvern’s side to derail it off its path. That’s when the collision shakes Liam off of Deigh’s back and my breath is caught short in my throat.

“Violet!”

“Liam!” I reach out to him and grab onto his scrambling hands looking for purchase on my dragon. Yet Tairn makes a sharp turn to follow Deigh and my shoulders pop from Liam’s weight and the turn Tairn makes at the same time. “Hold on!”

I throw my body over Liam as he holds onto the pommels and hear him take a strangled breath. I’m afraid to turn around, but then he whispers her name in total surprise.

“[Name], w-what-” He stutters and his eyes are trained on the scene behind me.

I look over my shoulder and see the cloak covering Lenin and [Name] slide off them like a blanket does in the wind. Lenin is snarling, blood and saliva leaking from his teeth as he roars out. Meanwhile [Name] is standing on top of his head with her daggers floating on each shoulder, another one grasped tightly in her [dominant] hand. She doesn’t cast us a look because her focus is on Deigh trying his best to protect himself from the gnashing teeth of the wyvern. But Deigh’s devastating roars of pain reach our ears and my heart drops.

[Name] is too late. Deigh’s side is gushing out a ton of blood and I look at Liam to see his blue eyes get misty.

Lenin’s roar catches the attention of the wyvern after Deigh and it breathes fire to deter Lenin off his flight path. But he nods his head upward and [Name] jumps into the air much like Liam did earlier. She floats over the stream of fire and barely lands on the seat of Deigh while Lenin tanks the fire and clamps his mouth onto the wyvern’s neck.

Again, Lenin is tearing through another wyvern with a surprise attack. [Name] presses her hands onto Deigh’s red scales and her lips are moving, but we can’t hear them over Deigh’s cry.

“[Name]! Stop!” Liam cries out like he’s aware of what she’s doing, but I’m at a loss for words. I can’t bring myself to ask him what she’s doing. Instead I watch with anxiety as her hands glow with a bright orange aura.

Then like grass catching fire, a stream of it goes down to Deigh’s wounds. “Fly now!” Her shout reaches us and Deigh takes her up into the clouds without hesitation. Suddenly a horde of venin follow after them with awful shrieks.

“Follow her!” I shout at Tairn and he does with mighty beats of his wings. I look at Liam and I can see the confusion on his face. “Don’t worry, your sister is smart. She just cauterized his wounds. It stopped Deigh’s bleeding.”

“That’s not what worries me,” Liam admitted. And for some reason, I draw my eyes back into the clouds with worry in my chest.

…

LIAM

“She’s going to burn out!” Deigh warns me as the fire reaches his wounds and I know [Name] is doing this to save Deigh, to save me.

“[Name]! Stop!” I cry out because this shouldn’t be happening. She cannot afford to burn out here of all places. Especially not when she’s off the safety of her dragon’s back.

“Fly now!” She commands Deigh and he shots up into the sky into the cover of the clouds. Before I can get a word out, Violet tells Tairn to follow after them and the horde of wyvern chasing them. Questions swirl inside my head like a tornado and none of them can be answered. Not in this hectic moment.

“You need to get ready to jump!” Violet looks at me and says, “Tairn is going to fly over Deigh and [Name] will catch you. Got it?”

I stand up and Violet steadies me with a wince. I want to tell her that we’re still friends besides the secrets between us but she looks up at me and shouts, “Run!” Without hesitation, I run down Tairn’s back and hear Deigh loud and clear unlike his early cries of pain.

“Jump!”

Listening to his shout, I jump off of Tairn’s side and Deigh dives in an angle and cold hands catch my warm ones. “Don’t ever jump like that ever again!” [Name] yells at me and pulls me into her cold embrace. I hold onto her and when Deigh levels out, she slides out of his seat and lets me take back control.

“Me? You jumped too and might I add over fire!” I shout back just as angered as she was.

“I know what I’m doing, Liam!” She crouches behind me and settles her hands on my shoulders. “Tell Deigh to climb a bit higher! I need all the air I can get!”

“Are you crazy? It’s hard enough to breathe already!” I refuse to go higher. I have no idea what she is planning, but Deigh moves his head upward and starts climbing. I look over my shoulder and see her blue eyes focused on a wyvern with a venin on top of it. Two others follow the leading one with unrelenting focus on…[Name].

Their sole focus is on her and she knows it. I know it and Deigh shakes his head in denial, his guilt going down the bond. I can feel the guilt eating away at him and I bite my tongue knowing why. Deigh is going with whatever plan [Name] has and it involves us leaving her behind.

“Liam,” Her voice, tinted with fear, reaches me. She stretches her hand toward her right shoulder where the green dagger floats above it three inches. “Give this to Sloane when she learns how to kick ass.”

I must have looked stupid to her because she laughed at my reaction. She actually laughs. “Why the fuck are you laughing?” I asked with a growl and she took my hand and shoved the dagger into my grasp.

“Because you look fucking stupid.” She bites back then her voice softens so does her frustrated features. She contemplates her words and she presses a kiss on my sweaty forehead. The moment her lips leave my forehead, she speaks with a gentler tone instead of the brave, insulting sister.

“They’re not after you now. They want me and if that’s what they really want, I’m taking them down with me.”

“Down with you?” I clench the dagger and shove it into her chest knowing what she meant, “No way. We can work together! I am not letting you do this alone. So you can give this to Sloane yourself.” She doesn’t take the weapon. Instead she smiles down at me as she rises to stand, rain appearing to pour.

[Name] takes one step backward then another.

“[Name].” I clench my teeth and go to stand, but something pulls me down. It’s Deigh’s power holding me to my seat. I don’t have time to fight him, I need to convince her to stay here and fight with me!

“Please!” I beg and turn my body to watch her turn her back on me, “Don’t do this! I can’t watch my sister do this! Sloane would never forgive me! Let me fight with you.”

She tears her goggles off around her neck and tosses them to the side. She doesn’t plan on flying Lenin’s back either. My heart lurches into my stomach.

“[Name]! There has to be another way!” I shout, blinking away the tears that form in my eyes. She speaks in a normal voice, but the rushing wind and falling rain cloud over my hearing. Then she runs down Deigh’s back like I did minutes ago. Minutes.

“Don’t do this!” I shout with all my might, my throat aching and going dry at the hurt that tore through my chest. But she flies up into the sky with Deigh’s help, his tail flicking her upward. Suddenly she disappears into the night and I don’t know if she made it onto the wyvern with the venin on top of it. I didn’t tell her that killing the venin will also end the wyverns' lives.

“She knows. Your sister knows everything.” Deigh tells me and a coldness washes over the both of us. She cloaks us while she fights on the wyvern, why is she doing this? “Hold on! We’re going after Lenin, the other wyvern has been focusing on him since she jumped!”

Deigh begins a nosedive and tucks his wings in to gain incredible speed. When we breach the clouds, I am greeted with a shocking sight. Three wyvern are hot on Lenin’s tail, Bodhi and his dragon working hard to protect him. Fire spews from Cuir’s mouth and he catches one that aimed for his left wing. His claws raked across the wyvern’s body and he collided on the floor rolling over it.

My eyes widen in surprise and I shout Bohdi’s name. Only to see my friend desperately clinging onto his dragon with all he can. Then Cuir slides into a stop with a shake of his head and Bodhi dismounts his dragon unceremoniously. His right arm is twisted in an ugly way and he collapses onto the floor with a cry of pain.

“Bodhi!” I shout at him. He needs to get off the ground.

A roar of pain abrupts my train of thought and my eyes are brought into the thundering sky. Lenin flies to the left of Deigh and I, trying to shake off the other two wyvern on him. They bite at his tail and another on his hind leg.

A crackle of lightning is heard and I see Violet right above Lenin. But her eyes, they’re not on Tairn’s son. No, she’s focused on something else high above her. While Deigh beats his wings and gains speed to follow after Lenin, I can’t help but look up at where Violet is focused on.

Again, my heart drops. The sight is enough to send me into a panicked frenzy.

“Don’t worry! Tairn and his rider will catch her! We need to focus on providing backup to Lenin!” Deigh tells me, but I want to argue and tell him that my sister was in immediate danger. She’s free falling while she fights a venin!

“If Lenin dies, she dies! Now focus!” Deigh commands and I try to move my eyes away from her. Then another crackle of lightning sounds and in slow motion I witness the strike that hits the venin first and connects with [Name] in a blink of an eye.

“[Name]!”

A new voice shouts and a blur of blue whizzes past Deigh and I. In her lethal fashion, Sgaeyl knocks off the wyvern attacking her son while Xaden uses his shadows to make a lasso around the neck of the other one. Deigh reacts quickly and snaps his teeth on the wyvern Xaden had a hold on.

While the rest of the wyvern die all around us, Lenin lets out the most pained whine I heard from a dragon. He beats his wings defeatedly and his head hangs low as he lets out a defiant and anguished roar that makes Xaden and I cover our ears.

After a few seconds, he closes his mouth and Sgaeyl drifts to the right and whines along with her son. Her wing barely grazes his large one and he glides low, following after the orange dragon that belonged to Imogen. All our dragons touch ground after the battle ends and we all run over to Imogen who slides down Glane’s wing with [Name] unconscious in her arms.

I find it hard to see my sister so broken. She’s bleeding from her side, a trail of blood leaves her nose and her body hangs limp in Imogen’s hold.

Imogen is crying as she addresses Xaden, “She’s still breathing! But the venin stabbed her and the poison is spreading fast!” Xaden is the first one to make it to Imogen, but he stops short. Like cement filled his shoes.

“Xaden! We have to take her home!” Imogen shouts, barely carrying [Name] in her sprint. Meanwhile Glane shakes her head with a saddened gaze and Deigh’s voice fills my head.

“I’m sorry. Your sister is gone.”

His voice makes me stop and the dagger [Name] gave me minutes ago feels heavy on my chest. Imogen looks at all of us and shouts, “What the hell are you hesitating for! She’s still breathing!”

The adrenaline leaves my body and I fall to my knees in the mud. I tear my goggles off my face and clench them tightly as to ground me at this moment. She died. [Name] is dead and I let her go.

“Stop.” I whisper, not daring to look at Imogen who holds my sister so close to her chest.

“Xaden, please!” Imogen begs.

“Imogen, she’s gone.” Xaden’s voice carries a heavy weight in them.

“No, no,” Imogen looks down at [Name]’s face and says, “She was talking to me! I swear! We have to take her to him!”

Then the ground beneath us rumbles with the heavy footfalls of Lenin making his way over to Imogen. He towers over Xaden and I, shrouding us in his large shadow. He leans his neck down and Imogen slowly kneels down in front of him. Her sobs wracked her body as she gently lays [Name] down on the wet grass.

Then Lenin pushes the front of his mouth up against the side of [Name]’s body. He hums out and continues to lift her body until she lays on her right side…unmoving. A minute goes by and Lenin moves his eyes from my sister’s body and presses his mouth up against Imogen, gently coaxing her.

Imogen leans back and wipes her eyes with a sniffle.

IMOGEN

“Tell me what her last words were.”

It’s odd to hear another voice inside my head. And Lenin’s voice is an uncomfortable one especially feeling his sadness flow through Glane and down to me. I felt his sadness when he roared out for her, calling out her nickname.

“Tell me.”

Lenin’s snout softly bumps into my chest and I wipe away my tears, but the rain keeps pouring. “She said…” I start and look into his mismatching eyes, “That you should find a rider that reminds you of her. Next year, in two or three years. Just find one and hopefully they’ll be a better-”

“She’s all I want.” Lenin growls, but it doesn’t scare me. Not even being face to face with him. I know he’s hurting. It’s all I can feel from him right now.

“And she knew that, but she said it anyway. We all have to move on somehow. She doesn’t expect us to do it right now. She doesn’t expect you to do anything, but I do. We know who did this and I want to know why.”

I move my gaze to the side and watch Violet stand with her dragons, alive and well. She did this. Violet used her signet and struck [Name]. “You want to hurt her, I can sense it.” Lenin says and I bite my tongue to keep my outside voice from being used.

“Of course I do, and yet…I know [Name] would not want that from me. Or you. And you’re not mad right now. You just feel an enormous amount of pain and suffering.”

“Because you’re right. Dagger knew what she was doing. This entire time. She sacrificed herself to save her brother and Deigh. And in the end, to save me. Dagger is special and I won’t give up on her. If she wants me to find another rider as her last words to me, I will.”

Lenin reels his head back and says his last words to me, “You were a great friend to her, Pinkie. Now tell Shadow to take her to her resting place, I will light the fire for her.”

I move my eyes over to Xaden and he is hidden by the shadow of Lenin. But the darkness is somehow alive and I know it’s his reaction to [Name]’s death that makes them flicker with negativity. Our wingleader is drowning in his own sorrow and we have to pull him out before it’s too late.

“Xaden,” I address him carefully, afraid to earn his backlash. But he draws his eyes away from [Name]’s back and into my gaze. He doesn’t say anything and I tell him, “Lenin wants you to take [Name] to her resting place. He will light her fire.”

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬: @luvly-writer @blueeclipsepaperstudent @honethatty12 @poeticbookwormcat @cheappremingerfromdelululand @eep500 @littlepippilongstocking @86laura11 @lxnvmvrzx @what-will-be-your-verse @sheblogs @fangirling-galore @callsigns-haze @side-angel @faeofthemoonandstars @jesschalamet @abysshaven @bisexualbitchsgotass @books-hlmc @r0sluvs @galaxystern08 @bwormie @littleemissperfecttt @lagrandeourse @steph-fowlie @casiiopea2 @nisarelle @matrixmoxi @eepyfaerie @thegirlwiththepurpleshelves @smileysunshinesworld @brieflyclassymortal @noonenuts @nikfigueiredo

#x reader #x female reader #fourth wing imagine #xaden riorson imagine #xaden riorson x reader #xaden x female reader #cloak of shadows #fourth wing x reader #xaden riorson x you

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sylus-dog · 1 year ago

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Angst

(Thought of this scenario while at work so it’s a bit rushed)

Imagine being mc’s sibling in every lifetime and always seeing the boys fall for her, watching as the relationship develops and blooms then witnessing it get snatched away from them.

Always being second to mc, everyone will always see you first but choosing her no matter the circumstance. While her destiny is to be with the boys but get ripped apart, yours if to be waiting in the sideline hoping that at least in one lifetime they’ll see you and not her.

Example

Xavier ~supermoon phone call

Think about sitting in the living room of your and mc’s small apartment, her looking out the window pacing by the window excitedly waiting to be able to see the moon. Listening in to her call while it’s on speaker and hearing how soft Xavier’s voice is when he talks to her.

Eyesight going blurry when he mentions that he’s never seen the supermoon with anyone before and how it’s much more memorable when he’s seeing it with her. Lies. Does he not remember how you both watched it over 300 years ago? But he remembers mc, they always remember mc, never you. You swear you’re cursed because why does she always get love and acceptance, while you just get pain and anguish.

“We can make an appointment with it now, to meet again in one hundred years.” There it is, the hole in your heart becoming a crater that’s leaves you clutching your chest. It’s fate. Always in the wings waiting for your turn.

#love and deepspace x reader #lads #love and deepspace #lnds sylus #love and deepspace sylus #lads sylus #love and deepspace angst #love and deepspace xavier #lads xavier #love and deepspace rafayel #lads rafayel #love and deepspace zayne #lads zayne #lads x reader

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soulidarity · 1 year ago

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pearly tears

rafayel x reader / mc | 384 words | hurt/comfort

after rafayel wakes up from a nightmare, he cant find MC

His hand felt heavy, rapidly moving against the weight of the water. Fighting an invisible force. For what? He wasn't sure. He just felt a sharp pain and anguish in his chest as he went against the tide.

Then he saw her. Slowly descending into the depths of the sea. Her eyes closed, mouth open. He reached out to her, she was almost in his hold when his vision was covered by sea foam.

Rafayel jolted awake. Sweat dripping from his forehead as he took in his surroundings. Right. He wasn't in the water, he was in his bedroom. The covers were sticking to him, a bit of the moon light creeping in from the courtains and his beloved was sleeping right next to him. He turned to see her.

Only to find an empty space.

The artist's breath quickened, his hand gripping the sheets that were supposed to be enveloping her. He looked around rapidly, searching for her. It was hard to tell what was going on now, his senses heightened yet he felt numb. His eyes observing but his vision was clouded. He didnt hear the bathroom door open.

Suddenly arms wrapped around him, holding him tight.

"Im here"

He turned around, cupping her cheecks in his hands to make sure she was real. His love wasn't dead. She was there. Rafayel burst into tears while she leaned into his touch. Her hand made its way to wipe them away as her facial expression changed to one of wonder.

"You cry pearls, how lovely"

Everytime she spoke it felt as if he was in a trance, her gentle voice a contrast to his desperate and anxious demeanor. But the comment only made him cry harder, the pearls growing in size. Quickly, the bed was covered in the shiny and soft object. The sound of them rolling off and hitting the floor was all that could be heard apart from the man's sobs.

Slowly, with her affection he started to calm down. Slim hands playing with his hair as soft lips kissed his jawline.

He moved to her lap, head in the crook of her neck as his arms tightened around her. The pearls had stopped flowing.

"Please... dont leave me..."

She smiled as she patted his back.

"Wouldnt even dream of it"

#rafayel x reader #love & deepspace #love and deepspace #rafayel #otome #hurt/comfort #siren rafayel my beloved #cross posted on ao3 #i havent written fanfics in like 3 years #not beta read we die like caleb

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stygiansun-totaleclipse · 1 month ago

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I love the siblings' designs; they're all so pretty! 🥹 My favorite design is Castor, but my favorite sibling is Parim. Who doesn't love an older brother that calls you cute bird names? I've got a question:

since there is an afterlife, do the siblings watch over MC? If they could say anything to MC, what would they say? In the current timeline of your chapter,

make sure to take care of yourself! ❤️ I've seen a lot What- IF creators get harassed recently!

Thank you!! ❤️❤️ It took a while but I’m glad to have finally finished all the sibling designs and I’m glad everyone has enjoyed them! :D 💖💕 And take care of yourself as well! :3 🥰💖

People believe in the afterlife across the three in-game kingdoms—MCs siblings would have gone to Theia’s Hall, where it’s believed that yes, they’d be able to watch over mc. (UvU)

Parim: “Set aside your pride, little bird.” Along the same vein of what he told MC during his scene in his tent about guilt. It was his job in his eyes to teach this to MC but he didn’t get the chance, but he knows MC is selfless when it comes to the people they love—they’ll shoulder everything alone if it spares their loved one from suffering under the weight. He wants MC to set aside their pride and let others share in their burdens. Pride is also both a character strength and flaw of MCs that will crop up in other aspects of the game—but MC needs to learn when to uphold it and when to set it aside.

Aurora: “I love you.” She wasn’t ever the most forward in verbal affirmations of love as she spoke more through actions, but she realized she never got to say it to MC one last time. She never got to say goodbye. Not to MC, not to Parim, not to her other siblings or to her mother or father. If MC remembers just one thing about her, let it be just how much she loved them—so, so much. Everything she’s ever done has all been in service of her family.

Castor: “I’m so sorry. For everything.” He harbors a lot of guilt for how his downward spiral played out. He was supposed to keep it together as the eldest for MC, Nour, and Farah after Aurora and Parim died. And he committed some fucked up acts of violence in his anguish—things that churn his stomach to think about, things he didn’t think he was capable of. But worst of all is seeing how all that affected the people he left behind. He feels he let them and Aurora and Parim down. For that, he is so, so sorry.

Ember: “Watch out for each other.” He can’t be there to watch out for his family anymore and he was always staunchly of the mind ‘you watch my back, I’ll watch yours.’ He took pride in having his family’s backs—whether that was in combat or just at court etc. Family means being there for each other. He doesn’t want anything or anyone else to hurt what’s left of his family—so you guys gotta look out for each other now. You’re all each other has.

#stygian sun total eclipse #stygian sun: total eclipse #sste asks #anon ask #sste: mc #sste: parim #sste: aurora #sste: castor #sste: ember

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m3lin03 · 1 month ago

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Shape of the unknown part 3

other parts: 1 2 3

Hello! :) This, I think, is the last part of the series. I've been thinking about an epilogue, but not sure. Hope you all will enjoy it

It's not proofread so ignore the mistakes you'll find please :)

genre: angst

warnings: blood, suffering, death, weapons, the plot is not the same as in the game, reader is not mc

word count: 1444 (aprox)

summary: It doesn't matter how much you try to escape fate, it will always find a way to come true. All you can do is hope this is the first and last time Sylus and you go through this.

When interpreting prophecies things are never what they seem. Dreams and premonitions always have loopholes. They all are symbolic, rarely should be taken word for word. Many nights and days should be spent thinking of the true meaning and how you get in the point where they become true. Stars and planets, pleading to the gods, herbs or cards sometimes help.

In the deep of night, one doesn’t know that killing is not entirely about a body, one sharpens their sword, washing it with tears, caught between love and duty. The third finally hears the mocking laugh of fate and can no longer cry, for the flames cannot be stopped anymore. Begging will do nothing to stop the wheels of future from tugging them towards their anguish.

Your mistake was getting tangled in this mess. But how it could’ve been prevented? The gods laughed in your face since the very start.

Days go by in a rush. Moon or sun, you don’t know, nor feel it. Sylus’ calls go unanswered. The faces around you are blurred, your hands seem someone else’s. Visions of flames, blood and destruction weaken your body.

At first, you’re confused what are your feelings truly. Sadness is long overdue, making place for anger – hot and heavy. Silence turns from protection to a weapon against him.

After hearing your hundred refusal, Sylus has had enough. He couldn't understand what could’ve made you so apprehensive, going so far as to deny him your presence for weeks. His wings bore him to your balcony in a hurry.

The night sky had no clouds, the moon shining over the city. A slight breeze made its way into your room awakening goosebumps on your skin, making it more difficult to light candles than it already was with a shaky hand. Suddenly the sound of wings scares you, dropping the matches on the ground. A familiar face welcomes your tired eyes. Beautiful as ever, Sylus makes his way in your room. The dancing light of a few candles you got to light makes his face look sharp and his blood red eyes piercing.

“Out”, is all that comes from your chapped lips, returning to your attempts to light more candles.

His stare becomes sharper, brows closing in. A small growl can be heard before a clawed hand grabs your wrist. Sylus’ tall form exudes danger and your body instinctively gets defensive, smaller, trying to set your wrist free.

Taking a better look at your face he can see deep dark circles around your pretty eyes, your hair is unbrushed, the attempts to free your hand are weak. Your form seems so sickly.

Under his stare you feel naked. The thin dark blue dress you wore to bed didn’t help either. Suddenly, the room seems too cold.

“Why am I no longer welcome?” his voice whispers, eyes searching for yours in almost a desperate manner.

“You should head back to her.”

“Jealous, my love?” he smirks, trying to hide his hurt.

Truth be told, you were jealous, but this wasn’t the problem. You would give up on love if it meant that your beloved could be happy. There was no sacrifice you wouldn’t do for him. The problem was that you knew that the same could not be told about her. No matter how much the sorceress loved him, she was meant to betray him in the end. There was no rivalry between the two of you, just the promise of tragedy that hanged over your heads. The sorceress didn’t want you to mess with her plans and you didn’t know how could you stop the disaster anyway. It was a divine comedy.

But what you didn’t understand was why – for the love of gods – did he amuse her? Only to come back to you? Why is he putting salt in a wound you try so hard to close?

“If I’m a fun thing to you, you must know it’s not the same for me, Sylus. I’m not a cow’s bone and you a dog to keep picking me up only when you want to fool around”, you say battling with your heart, knowing how the words will affect him.

For a moment the anger in your eyes shocks him, the words hitting him like a ton of bricks. In his hundreds, thousand of years of existing did he feel so lonely, cold and hurt. What could he say back? Thinking for a second about the last months, realization came upon him. While he tried sheltering you, loving you, diverting the sorceress’ attention, trying to change the story, all he achieved was turning you against him.

Once again, what could he say to you when he himself pushed you to misunderstand him?

The tears in your eyes broke him. He cursed himself and all he could do was leave, while the wind carried your whimpers of pain and suffering to him almost all night.

Sylus knew that if he didn’t amuse the girl, her eyes would eventually turn to you, and in trying to reach him, who knows what she could’ve done to you. The curse surrounding a dragon and his beloved hanging in the back of his mind didn’t help soothing his worries. Only to realize that he killed your heart, completely shattered it.

His eyes closed, warm, angry tears from under his eyelashes, feeling through the string between you two that he wasn’t alone in his pain. The thought of you, crying, begging the gods to take the suffering from you, crushed him. Now he understands the pain he felt burning in his chest while he took the sorceress for a flight.

It was too late anyway. All he has to do now, is await death, wishing that you would be spared by fate.

But fate was cruel.

You knew that the Legion was on its way to Tarus. All the letters you sent, asking other Temples and cities to help the people of Tarus to leave went unanswered. A million of questions swirled around in your head – how and why there was no answer? Not even the closest of your friends, in the furthest point of the continent, dared to help you? It didn’t make sense. They promised to send help if it was needed, after all, your own novices, doctors and sorceresses were sent there when they needed it. Why wouldn’t they reciprocate? Was the mail actually never delivered?

This seemed more like the case, as for the last three weeks not only mail seemed to be problematic, but also trades.

After five more days, the sky turned dark red. Smoke filled the air, as the Legion reached Tarus. Blood poured like rivers, screams were the only thing that could be heard. A true disaster was unfolding. The regret of not being able to help the kids you had to assist being born, the elderly your hands tried to take the pain of, all those people, now dying. Why? For not being privileged. The excuse? The existence of a big bad monster near Tarus that was seemingly hidden and helped by the people.

However, a wave of guilt washes over you as the only thing that seems important in this moment is reaching Sylus. You need to see him at least one last time, maybe, even though it’s impossible, you’ll save him. Then you two can fly somewhere far away, live a peaceful life.

As you reach a field outside the city, your eyes fall on two figures. Your lungs are burning after running all this way, only to see your lover, your dragon, being stabbed in his chest, falling to his knees. A shriek escapes your lips, hands covering your mouth. No, no, no, we have to run, we have to leave, no, no, no…

As your eyes meet, pain shoots through your back and chest. His eyes open in horror. Looking down you see the arrow plunged into your heart.

He hissed and moaned in pain when he couldn’t run to you as the sword in his chest was pushed a little deeper by the girl. Her back was turned to you, even though you could hear a small whimper – she was crying.

When you close your eyes, the only hope that is in your heart is to never wake again – not now, not tomorrow, not in another life. Everything that you’ve seen, heard and had to do were more than enough for the rest of the eternity. Perhaps, you and Sylus may find one another in the afterlife. Perhaps death will be kinder to you and your love than life was. As your last breath exits your body, the sound of crying and regret can be heard growing louder.

Then there’s nothing.

-Reupload-

#sylus #fanfic #love and deepspace #sylus lads #sylus love and deepspace #sylus qin #sylus x reader #x reader #reader insert #lads

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oceanlipgloss · 5 months ago

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Caleb is like an enchantment.

There is such powerful beauty in his depth. A lovely sort of heartbreak comes forth at the reality of his sorrows and agonies, at the tragedy that seems to loom over his destiny and self.

There's how he burns with longing for MC, a yearning that makes his heart ache and bleed through the cracks. I'm in love with the way he looks at her, with the way he's so deeply and hopelessly in love with her, with the way he wants everything she has to give.

The way he swallows his feelings back into his heart and never lets them make their way up onto his tongue. The way he sometimes gives in to his love for her just a little. When he loses himself in his feelings sometimes anyway. When he covers her lips so he doesn't fall into the innocent wish and burning temptation to kiss her.

There is something so utterly bewitching about the despair and complexities of their bond, a bond of two soulmates in which the flow of delicate yet intense emotions is inevitable and lovely, yet blackened with anguish and obstacles; these are emotions they feel may be forbidden, emotions they keep restraining with thorn-studded vines.

Every day I think about their future together, and the love that will finally be his. No day passes by in which I do not reread all his stories multiple times. Even though only a very short time has passed since his launch, I miss him already.

Caleb is a treasure of a character, and he is heartwrenchingly misunderstood. One day soon, I would like to try to clear certain smears off his name, because while he is imperfect—like all the others are—he tends to get painted in such a false and unfair hue of colours, truly.

#lnds caleb #lads caleb #love and deepspace caleb #caleb lnds #l&ds caleb #love and deepspace #lnds #lads #l&ds #the teacup

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fortunekookie07 · 1 year ago

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Mc disappears on a mission/snowcrest (Days, weeks, author's choice) I want pain, anguish But a happy ending, with a reunion (the only requirement, life is sad enough 😭)

This is the prompt requested, and I got this idea.

Looking for my Heart

The mission seems simple enough, you thought as you read through the file that Jenna had sent. After you had gone to Snowcrest last year with Zayne and temporarily teamed up with the Deepspace Hunters stationed there she had decided to add more diversity to the training. This included rounds in Snowcrest.

This time it was your turn, you were excited to see Dr. Noah and Pie again. It had been almost six months since your last trip. Getting out of Linkon for the first time in awhile was just the refreshing change you wanted.

Zayne had agreed to take you to the train station so you could meet up with your temporary team, but for some reason, he was late. This was highly unusual, Zayne was almost never late. He prided himself on his perfect manners.

You decide to take your luggage downstairs anyways. Surely Zayne was on the way or maybe even pulling up to the complex now. Upon seeing the quiet parking lot devoid of his car a pout forms on your lips. You grab your phone and scroll through the texts you'd exchanged and check to make sure you'd told him the correct time and date. There it was, Wednesday morning 9:30, along with his affirmation and yet no Zayne. You decide that this is not ok and immediately tap the phone icon to call him.

Straight to voice-mail, a frown furrows your eyebrows and your lips purse out in frustration. You call again, once more, twice more. You almost lose count at the number of straight to voice mail calls you send. So you type him a text in anger.

I know you don't want me to go to Snowcrest but this is my job after all. If you didn't want to take me you shouldn't have agreed in the first place. Trying to make me miss the train is really petty. You hit send without a second thought and immediately call for a taxi. Minutes later one is pulling into the parking lot and finally you are off.

After getting to the station and finally securing your tickets and luggage your phone rings. Zayne's name and picture flash across the screen. In anger you shut your phone off and stuff it deep into your bag.

You walk down a few cars before finding a seat. Across from you is a family. A little girl is giggling as her father is making funny faces and the mother is quietly laughing as well. A smile crosses your face and then unwanted thoughts pop into your head.

For a moment you see yourself and Zayne in that exact situation. Though he'd probably never actually admit it, Zayne would do anything you asked no matter how silly. To him you'd hung the moon and scattered the stars. A small smile came to your face and you violently shook your head back in forth, uncaring that your hair whipped your cheeks as you did so.

"No I'm angry, we're mad at Zayne. Be mad at Zayne"! You chant softly to yourself before slapping both cheeks. Having successfully for the moment chased away the daydream you sit back in your seat as the train begins to move and look out at the scenery flashing by. Slowly changing from city to mountains.

Two hours later the heaters in the cars came on as the temperature outside had dropped. It was snowing lightly according to the weather report. Your about to get your jacket on when an alert sound on your Hunter's Watch. You look down and see that a there is a Metaflux warning on the screen and the scanner is red.

Immediately your heart starts hammering in your chest as a cold sweat rolls down your back. This is exactly the readings you saw on your first day Hunting.

"Look out"! You scream just before everything goes white and you hear a high pitched screech and then nothing.

**********************************************************

She was standing off to the side holding Dr. Zayne's phone. Finally it was her turn to watch for important calls or messages and inform him of them. Finally she would be able to get closer to him. Oh how she had dreamed of this day! Luck was finally dealing her the winning hand.

At least that was the cloud nine Mia was currently occupying until the phone actually started soflt vibrating. A quick glance at the screen sent her stomach straight to the pits of ultimate fury. How did this stupid girl have Zayne's number? She was always around him. It made her blood absolutely boil staring down at her stupid smiling face and name on the screen. "Humph"! She scoffed sending the call straight to voicemail. Oh how it delighted her to reject that snake's call.

Well that was until the phone started vibrating again almost immediately. She's calling again?!?! Mia thought wanting to throw the device into and inferno.

I've been in his department for two years and she already has his number?? How dare she deceive my Zayne! She sent the call to voice-mail again. This went on several more times and she was almost giddy at having rejected the call five times. A wide smile made its way onto her face as a text message popped in then. Zayne would never allow anyone to talk to him like that. She was riding this wave for the next hour before finally the surgery was done.

Mia quickly deleted the records of the call and then looked up as Dr. Zayne set down his instruments and gave his final orders. He was handing the last of the surgery duties over to his team. They quickly got to work stitching the patient back up. Dr. Zayne walked over to her and her heart skipped a beat as she watched another nurse help remove his scrubs and gear before finally standing in front of her.

He looks so tired, she thought silently handing over his phone. He accepted it and a deep frown immediately hung over his face. He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Damn, I'm late". He said quietly.

"Is something wrong Dr. Zayne". Mia asked gazing at his face. Mock concern on it. Zayne only looked at her before leaving the room. Mia was confused, while it was true they didn't have much contact, he'd never outright ignored her before. She shrugged it off as tiredness. It had been a six hour surgery after all.

Mia left the surgical wing and went back to the nurses station to write down the report she knew would be expected by the end of the day. However forty-five minutes later she was being summoned to Zayne's office. He had directly written an email and sent it to her. This had never happened before. Mia had attended dozens of surgeries with Zayne before, but never had an email come to her straight from him.

She was so elated that she didn't even notice the looks she was getting as she practically skipped to his office. Word of her misdeeds had traveled around the entire cardiac ward and then some, but Mia hadn't noticed. Too busy floating in the clouds to see the disapproving stares and mock sympathy she was getting.

She stopped only once at the last bathroom before turning to his office to check her hair and makeup. She quickly undid the ponytail her hair had been thrown in before and finger combed the strands before relying it neatly. Adjusting her bangs to fall just right across her forehead and removing all traces of smudged eyeliner. Perfect! She thought glancing once more before leaving.

Standing in front of his office door she cleared her throat and raised her hand to knock, but another hand beat her to it. She turned a withering look on her face but nearly recoiled in shock. Standing to her right was the president of the hospital along with his secretary and another Doctor she couldn't remember the name of.

"Come in". Zayne's deep voice sounded from the other side. The president quickly pushed the door open and strode inside. His secretary looked at her. A woman in her mid thirties with square framed glasses a high ponytail with side swept bangs and piercing golden eyes. She looked like an eagle that had just found her next pray. Mia suddenly felt small, all her early excitement and high dwindling rapidly to nothing.

She walked into the room like a timid mouse searching for the cat she just knew was watching her. "Y-you wanted to see me Dr. Zayne"? His green and gold eyes looked at her. Expression flat, devoid of all emotion and even life. Her body started to trembled as she played with the hem of her uniform shirt.

"Did I receive any calls earlier this morning"? He asked her out right not beating around the bush. "N-no sir, your phone did not ring". She was sweating nervously. Why was she being asked this in front of the president. She wanted the floor to swallow her.

"Is that so". He said and the temperature in the room dropped ten degrees with that single sentance. He wordlessly turned his computer monitor around to show what he was looking at and Mia felt her stomach sink to the floor as she stared at a frozen image of herself holding Zayne's phone. It was clear as day.

"Are you unaware that in addition to their being an observation deck above my operating room there are also cameras all over the place? Are you sure this is the route you wish to take"? He asked as her pressed play on the video. You could clearly see her holding the phone and looking down at the screen when the device lit up. The name couldn't be read from the distance but the picture of you was unmistakable.

Mia lost all composure as she ditched her cover. "Why does she get to have your number and hang around you all the time like some cheap skank? It makes me sick the way she's always coming to the hospital like she owns the place. She doesn't even deserve to breathe the same air as you. She doesn't deserve to breathe at all"! Mia shouted chest heaving from her words and anger. "Who does she even think she is? She's isn't good enough for you"! She went on. There was no coming back from this, Mia had tossed all caution to the wind and she was going down with her sinking ship.

"Are you so self absorbed that you don't even know who my patients are"? Zayne asked, his voice was cold enough to give Mia frostbite as she practically froze. Horror dawning on her as realization started to sink in. "Not that it is any of your business in the first place. She has an extremely rare heart condition and requires weekly checkups to make sure no changes occur. She has my number because I gave it to her....".

Just then the door burst open and several people came in panicked. "Dr. Zayne you need to see this now"! The male shouted grabbing the remote and turning the TV on to the news in a flurry.

"..Minutes ago on the mountain there was an explosion believed to have been cause by metaflux, at the time the train bound for Snowcrest was at the heart of it. As of yet we are unable to get reports of the accident. As you can see drones are trying to get closer bit having no visual luck. The smoke has completely enveloped the accident. We are able to confirm that the train was blasted off the tracks as you can see here". The reported said as a still image filled the screen.

You could clearly see where the tracks ended brokenly and the huge gouge that had been taken as well as the black smoke. All eyes in the room turned to Zayne who had stood abruptly from his chair with such force that it had been knocked over. He scrambled for his phone furiously before tapping and immediately calling someone. The phone went straight to voicemail. Over and over again to no avail, finally he dropped the phone and hung his head brokenly.

He looked up sharply and sent her a withering glare, "The president will deal with you. I need to go". He said directing the last part to the president.

No one said a word as Dr. Zayne left the hospital and drove straight to the train station. He tried calling Dr. Noah, but to no avail. Emergency lines overruled all other communication.

Zayne felt like all his sanity was about to slip away, you were missing and you took his heart with you when you vanished.

*******************************************************

That had been eight days ago, every news outlet was following the story as the very world held its breath. Four rescue attempts had been made with no results. The explosion had stired up all the Wanderers and the area was thick with danger. Rescue workers couldn't fend off the Wanderers and there just weren't enough Deepspace Hunters that could destroy them, protect the rescuers, and look for survivors. All hope seemed to be lost.

As morning dawned on the ninth day something changed, the areas that had previously been inaccessible were suddenly clear. The Wanderer sightings in the first zones had dropped to zero. Even the metaflux readings were bottoming out. Like the forests surrounding the area was reclaiming itself.

Zayne finally ditched the watch the Association had put on him and headed into the wilderness. You the only thing on his mind. He was coming for you no matter what.

*******************************************************

Pain, that was the most prominent feeling you had first as you tried to open your eyes and move. They didn't want to cooperate. Something shuffled near you and then you realized something was holding your hand. At first you were afraid, unable to open your eyes and unable to move. Panic started to set in and with it dizziness. Even though you were already lying down the ground beneath you was spinning. Like a merry-go-round turned on to fast.

Then there was a quiet shushing. "It's alright, please calm down. Your injuries are serious and we have no way to treat them. We barely managed to stop the bleeding. Your eyes have been covered because there were deep cuts on your forehead. In addition your right leg and arm are badly broken. I don't know the extent of all your injuries so please don't move. If it hadn't been for your warning no one but you would have survived. My wife and daughter are alive thanks to you. Please let us help you". A male voice said softly near your ear. A hand brushed your hair back and then there was gentle pressure on your left hand.

A smaller hand had gripped it holding softly. "We managed to put up some shelter, it's been snowing non stop since the accident and the area is not safe. Your watch alerts us to dangers so we're staying hidden. You're a Hunter aren't you"? Those time a female voice was speaking softly. Memories slowly came back, you remembered the family you saw on the train and tears came to your eyes. That family had survived and not only that, protected you at your most vulnerable moments.

With all the strength you had left to muster you squeezed the small hand still holding yours before passing out again. Thankfully in unconsciousness there was no pain and there was also Zayne.

How you missed his cool demeanor and often icy personality. You missed staring into his deep hazel eyes and getting lost in them. You missed him holding you and waking up to him. In your dreams Zayne had already found you and was gently tending all your injuries while hiding how much it pained him to see you in this state.

The next time you woke up all was quiet around you. Carefully you pulled the layers of cloth off your eyes and peered into the dim light. It stung a bit after so much darkness. Huddled around you was a man, woman, and small child. They looked worse for the wear and tou noted cuts, burns, scrapes, and the like on them. Seems they had been extraordinarily lucky to escape with such minor injuries. You took note of the extent of your own injuries for the first time. Breathing hurt if you sucked in air too deeply, seems you can add ribs to the list of broken. Not to mention the burning paid in your side. That was heavily bound with cloth. That must be the bleeding that was hard to stop.

You tried to lift your head but that just sent oy straight back to the world of dreams. All your energy spent on just moving cloth from your eyes and feeling out wounds.

*******************************************************

Zayne was still unsure of the man walking beside him. He sort of knew about your upstairs neighbor and frequent Hunting partner but had never actually met Xavier before. He was quiet hardly speaking and seemed to be emotionless. Taking down every Wanderer that approached.

He hardly even needed Zayne's help, in fact he was pretty sure the man required zero help at all. It was quite a surprise when Xavier had agreed to Zayne's coming along in the first place. He knew there was more that Xavier knew than he would ever let slip. This guy held more secrets than a diary.

When Zayne had told him he was going to find you with ir without his help Xavier relented and off you were. Easily slipping past barriers and blockads headed for the accident zone.

Suddenly Xavier stopped his sled dogs and walked through the trees. In front the train tracks appeared and so did the spot where a huge hole was. Spanning at least thirty feet wide and probably ten feet deep at its center, it was no surprise the train had been blasted off the tracks. One of the cars lay on its top. Windows busted and scorch marks all over the metal. The fire on this one had burned a long time. The smell of burnt wooden, metal, and coal still lingered in the air. The bursting of snow looked odd on the scene. Any tracks that may have been on the snow were long since gone. Dusted over with more snow.

"Not here". Xavier said quietly leading away from the car and walking further away from the train into the woods. The air was dead silent, no animals had been seen in days. Having run away, or too terrified to come out of hiding.

Zayne felt his heart freezing over with the bitter cold. He would not admit the chances of your survival of the explosion until the evidence was thrust right before his eyes.

The hospital had forced him into a personal leave two days after the explosion. He was walking around in a daze, because quite literally his heart was missing. He got angry everytime he thought about what one of the nurses had done. Rejecting your calls like that several times. Her job was terminated that day. The president would not have such a malicious person on staff at Akso hospital. If word got out that patients were treated like that because a nurse thought she was entitled to whatever she wanted their stellar reputation would plummet.

A crunching noise started coming from a few feet in front of them. Xavier dashed forward towards thr sound.

In a makeshift clearing a man was walking their way. He looked beat up and tired as he froze at the sight of them before smiling in joy. It looked like he had been crying.

"Oh thank god"! He cried coming to them in relief. "We need help, the young woman that is with us is hurt real bad. I don't know if she's going to make it. I can't treat her injuries. Zayne felt his blood freeze as a sickening feeling came over him. "Show us". He said and the man immediately turned are hurried back the way he'd come. For the first time Zayne realized there was a tent strung from blankets and branches.

The man pushed the heavy blanket aside and went in. Zayne paused for a moment before he and Xavier followed. As soon as Zayne got a look at who was lying on the ground it felt like his soul left him.

There you were, his heart so battered and hurt he could barely breathe. For the first time Zayne wished he didn't have any medical training ir knowledge. He could easily see every injury and the signs of the ones the untrained eye could not.

A fever had set in and you were shivering despite the blankets on you and the two people huddled near you trying to keep you warm.

"Move aside", Zayne said with a calm he didn't feel. He took his backpack off and immediately searched for the pain medication and bandages. He gave you a shot to dull the pain your broken bones would definitely be giving you. He removed the cloth wrapped around your stomach and examined the injury. He could tell they had tried their best to care for you but lacking any supplies at all it had been a struggle. Signs of infection were already setting in. The jagged cut to your side was deep and would require antibiotics and stitching. Neither of which he had now. He just tried his best to clean the wounds with the basic supplies he had and moves on.

At some point during his treatment, you woke up. Eyes hazy and unfocused. "Zayne can't you find me already"? The fever had made you delirious. "Hurry and come find me Zayne. I can't hold out much longer". He stoked your head and mumbled. I'm looking for you, I'll find you soon. "M'kay". You say before slipping back into a feverish sleep. "We need to get her out of here now". Zayne says to Xavier carefully turning you onto your back and the carefully picking you up.

Your face scrunches in pain and whimpers escape your lips but you do not wake. The pain meds are doing their job, for the most part.

*******************************************************

After what seems like a year later you're waking up. You tense as you realize that you no longer have anyone around you. The little girl is gone and so are the mom and dad.

It takes you almost three minutes to notice that you are lying in a bed now and not on a covered ground with several blankets. Only when you realize that do you also hear the sounds of machines. You blearily open your eyes and see the white walls and the large curtained window on your left.

Zayne is also there, asleep in a chair that just screams uncomfortable. There is a chart in his lap and you realize it's yours. You are glad that you can't read what is written from your angle. You try to turn onto your side and one of the machines starts beeping angrily at you.

Zayne snaps awake instantly and reaches over to press a button. He removes his glasses and rubs his eyes. He must be exhausted. You open your mouth to speak but all that comes out is a whisper. Your mouth is so dry.

Your voice is only a whisper. Instead you try to move your hand. This manages to catch his attention. He is immediately checking you over. Doctor mode has been activated.

"Are you in pain? How is your head"? He fires off questions rapidly. Unable to answer them you point to the water on the table. His gaze follows your finger and he grabs the glass holding the straw for you to sip. "Slowly, not too fast". He gently chides.

"Zayne, you found me". You say not answering any of the questions. "Of course I did". He says matter of factly sitting down and staring at you again. "I know you are too resilient to go down without a fight. You're tougher than that".

You smile softly gazing at him. "I need my heart". He gently takes your hand staring at the ring on your finger. He won't say it but you have certainly put his heart through a beating.

"When can I leave the hospital". You ask and he just sighs. "You're just going to have to stay put for awhile. You're in for a long recovery. The extent of your injuries were no small matter.

"Dr. Zayne I'd like you to return my finacee to me now". You say in a joking manner squeezing his hand.

A long sigh is drawn out from him before he says "just what am I going to do with you"? He leans over and kisses your forehead, both eyelids and then finally your lips.

"I hope you know a person can't live without their heart. Don't make mine disappear again." You smile, feeling warm with his words.

#love and deepspace x reader #love and deepspace zayne x reader #halseyhatter #fic prompt #love and deepspace

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lisa-grdjc · 7 months ago

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NegaPosi Angler ep12 ramblings 🎣

(ofc it’s about takaaki again..what can i say. i love him so much.) i had always assumed that his little brother’s passing was due to his illness (hence why he was so adamant about hiro having to go to the hospital asap and stuff) but it’s so much worse and heartbreaking than i thought…

no wonder he hadn’t gone to visit his grave even once during those three years holy shit. i myself have a kid brother i care about a lot i can’t even fathom the immense guilt that must’ve been crushing him since… rewatching that scene from episode 10 right after hits different now i love inflicting pain upon myself

im placing takaaki breaking down in my top3 of things that caused me the most emotional anguish this year, and never before in my life have i been that desperate to reach out through my screen to hug and comfort a fictional character idc if i sound crazy i was literally whispering/yelling and begging for hiro to do something, anything. like, your friend is crying and looking like that right in front of you and you’re just. standing there, how. (tho i understand it now, this is hiro we’re talking abt, dude was a blubbering mess over a simple ‘thank you’ earlier and how he wasn’t used to saying alot of things and mayhaps it would’ve been ooc for him to physically comfort takaaki there. also he was pbly feeling awkward enough as it is and wanted to give him space but STILL. I WANTED THAT HUG. (fyi i am so writing a fic abt this later i could alr see it creating itself in my head while watching the scene like—)

i swear these VAs are so goated i can’t stress this enough—legit felt my heart twisting itself inside out hearing him sob im not strong enough for this

almost forgot to mention how frigging wholesome and funny the first half of the episode was; takaaki sulking and trying to give hiro the cold shoulder and failing miserably every time had me in stitches, like, c’mon. just admit it, dude you can’t even stay genuinely mad at him for more than two minutes straight you love him too much for that

this dumbass lmaooo (they are So cute)

even hiro finds it funny…

overall that first half was awesome as hell and the whole sequence of hiro catching his first big fish with takaaki’s help got me soooo happy and emotional i was so proud of him… he did it ;-;

also loooook it’s the lil girl and her mom from episode one,, she grew up🥹

and fuck, that ending… it got me crying real tears of joy,, i had a feeling we might get a timeskip and they absolutely delivered with it… ngl to me hiro started off as a okay-ish, almost annoying mc whom i didn’t think i’d even end up liking at the beginning, but here i am two months later weeping bc of his big, genuine grin as he reunites with his friends after years of medical treatment…

look at him!!! 2 years later and he’s all better now!! he gets to hang out with takaaki and the everymart gang and go fishing with them again!! this is everything i needed rly i couldn’t have asked for a more perfect and satisfying ending.. im gonna miss them all ofc but im so so happy rn

#negaposi angler #negative positive angler #np angler #ネガグラ #takaaki tsutsujimori #tsunehiro sasaki #negaposi

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riptidesiren · 2 months ago

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I Am Truly Happy - Veiled

Chapter two of I Am Truly Happy Wedding continued. Words: 984 Relationship: MC/Caleb | Xia Yizhou Tags: POV!Caleb, 3rd Person, angst/pain, this one ain’t happy, the reader knows its not, actually beta read, my beta hates me

Dividers: @/omi.resources

She'd left him only minutes before as he now stood before the doors awaiting his cue to enter. When it came, he figured people would hopefully find it normal to look at your Best Man. As a place of reassurance. Surely that was allowed. She held his eyes all the way and when he arrived, gave him a reassuring nod. Gideon—who stood next to her—gave him a nod and raised his brow; but he knew the answer to the unspoken question. Yes. They'd go through with it.

It was his bride-to-be's entrance next and the guests were eagerly watching the doors, sighs and cries resounding once they opened and she began her walk. All Caleb wanted to do however, was look at the person standing next to him.

A motion caught his eyes. Without averting his eyes from his bride—as this would surely have caused an outcry—he shifted and realised she was fumbling with her rings. The motion was small, it wouldn't have drawn any other person's eye.

Just half a year ago their positions had been reversed. He'd walked her down the aisle in the white lacy, but otherwise simple dress, so unlike the one she'd raved about as a teen planning her imaginary wedding. Even farther back, the two of them had play-married and Caleb used to tease her about it incessantly as a teen when she talked about her future husband.

"You're so heartless." He'd said and feigned anguish, "You'd do this to your husband?"

She'd kicked him then, and continued to do so every time he tried to continue his moaning; until he’d put her in air jail and it was her whining how he could treat his wife so.

When she'd broken the ‘good’ news a year ago, he of course wouldn't pass up the chance to remind her of their marriage which naturally had to be annulled before she could marry anyone else. She had called him childish…and then asked her husband if he'd divorce her. She'd said it playfully. But suddenly it hadn’t been funny to Caleb anymore. Divorce. He never wanted to be separated from her in any way again and if holding on to a childish marriage game meant...They'd let it drop as the air grew awkward around them.

It was during the time they'd spent planning her wedding together, going to different venues, reviewing flowers arrangements, taste testing cake, selecting musicians, and of course the dress.

It had taken his breath away the first time he'd seen her in one and he'd thought they'd already had a winner. But then he’d remembered who she'd be wearing it for and couldn't bring himself to encourage her to choose it when it wouldn't be for—. But the dresses that had followed...she just looked equally stunning in them all and he couldn't very well have talked her out of them all or she'd be wearing nothing and that line of thought had brought him to dangerous territory so he had aborted it altogether.

In between he’d thought they had found the one she had dreamed about since she was little. But in the end, she had chosen one he'd have called plain in all forms of definition. He’d even tried to talk her out of it and choose another one, but she had been adamant in her choice. A choice he couldn't question. Only accept. He’d wondered about her decision, but hadn’t brought it up since.

A year ago, Caleb hadn’t even thought of ever marrying anyone, much less dating someone if they weren't...But as they planned her wedding she had kept bringing up one topic. His happiness. The happiness she wished him to find. Happiness like hers—she'd wavered there but he'd held his tongue, he'd promised after all—finding his person that made him happy too. He would have told her he already had found that person; that she was marrying someone else. He’d thought better of it.

The person currently walking down the aisle on her father's arm was a woman he had met while he was busy managing boxes he had been unceremoniously stacked with by a certain Pip-squeak. He'd used his Evol and let them hover around him, opening his view to the face of his current bride-to-be. Before he had known what was happening his number had been exchanged for him against his protests.

As they’d left, she kept raving about what romantic timing it was. He’d feared so the moment she jumped to hand out his number and was proven right when she yet again brought up the topic of whether he'd be bringing a plus one. He, afterall, had had a chance right there, didn't he? He’d only half listened as she rambled on how amiable and kind the woman had seemed.

He'd agreed noncommittally followed by "Yeah, but she isn't y—" his tongue had hurt the rest of the day. Her distraction during the wedding planning—exacerbated by being only a couple weeks away from the actual day—had been his only saving grace with how often he’d begun slipping up.

On the day he walked her down the aisle, his date had sat in the pews smiling at him. She was amiable and kind indeed when she hadn’t bat an eye at him watching the bride like a hawk the whole day.

Up the steps they had gone; he’d kissed her cheek and wished her to be happy—he meant it, even when it tore him apart. He had squeezed her hands, and letting them go had felt like a parting.

He looked at his bride now. Words became a blur around him, and when it was time, he could not help but wish for another face to be revealed when he lifted the veil. His prayers were left unanswered. But then, he couldn't remember a time when they ever had been; or he even truly believed they would.

Thanks for reading! The third chapter is done too and it hurts myself.

Thanks as always to my wonderful Beta Shadow. I know you hate me, but remember: It was your line that birthed the idea for this fic :D

#caleb #lads caleb #love and deepspace #love and deepspace caleb #caleb love and deepspace #lads #caleb x mc #lads mc #xia yizhou x mc #xia yizhou #fanfiction #fanfic #riptidesiren's writing #owwwww continued

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kkochigomi · 11 months ago

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괜찮아, 괜찮아 (Fantasy); qk

˗ˏˋ🎧´ˎ˗ pairing; kun x female!reader

˗ˏˋ🎧´ˎ˗ words; 3.3k

˗ˏˋ🎧´ˎ˗ genre; smut, fluff

˗ˏˋ🎧´ˎ˗ warnings; dom!kun, sub!reader, mc got that dawg in her (she's a pathetic, horny, pervert), privacy invasion, use of a condom (I can't believe it!!), cunnilingus, two reader orgasms, constant check-ins, aftercare crumbs, very soft but passionate smut, let me know if I missed anything

↻ ◁ || ▷ : The ultimate soft dom, Qian Kun everyone. Thanks for requesting! Oh! And obviously listen to Fantasy by Fei while reading the smut.

How long…

You can barely finish the sentence in your mind amidst the anguish. Twenty minutes ago you were finally able to filter your friends out of your home. You don’t know if they got together to conspire behind your back or if they naturally decided your place was the hangout spot.

All it took was you telling the group chat that there was a spare key under the welcome mat. You explained that it was in case they were nearby and needed something urgently. Now you come home from work and find three people on your couch, someone in the kitchen, and someone using your computer to play minecraft. Unless you’re looking for an impromptu party, you immediately clean house.

That’s what had to happen today. They were in the middle of a session of Mario Party on your switch, begging you to let them finish first before you kick them out. You would’ve been a little lenient, maybe even sat and watched, but something was going on with you. You weren’t sure if your period was coming soon or what, but you’ve been so utterly horny you’ve gone brain dead.

Fifty minutes ago you spent far too long at work zoned out while staring at your computer screen. You were slack jawed, vivid depictions of filthy hardcore sex playing in your mind. You switched from celebrity to celebrity, then to old flames, then to hot strangers you’ve had fleeting encounters with. All your options were exhausted and your brain was reduced to goo. That’s how you rationalize images of a shirtless Kun making an appearance in your latest fantasy. The forefront of your mind fought against it. This was gonna make things weird in one way or another you thought as the back of your mind broadcasted more and more. Kun groping you through your clothes on a train. Kun taking you upstairs during a party. Kun fingering you under the table at a packed restaurant.

Like never before, your mind was igniting, and so was your core. Forty minutes ago was when your shift ended and you rushed to the bathroom. It was unreasonable to assume you soaked through your pants, but you could feel how saturated it was. The wetness sat uncomfortably against your mound. You wipe off what you can and rush out of there. You had a long list of ideas for porn to watch and you were planning to stretch the session for as long as you could.

Thirty minutes before your humiliation, you step into the door to encounter your obstacle. Five pairs of eyes look up at you, some guilty, some unabashed.

“Please let us finish. It’s the least you can do.” Hendery’s begging is rendered unconvincing by his entitled undertone. You cock an eyebrow up at him. He holds a frightened expression before caving. “No, you’re right.”

“But it’s your turn to roll!” Yeri whines, grabbing Hendery to stop him from gathering his things.

“Get up.” You state emotionlessly. The longer you’re deprived from touching yourself, the more irritable you become. Cycling through glaring at each of them ends up with you meeting Kun’s gaze. Your annoyed expression drops, your mouth dropping open a bit as well. He smiles nervously at you.

“Looks like you had a long day at work today?” His question makes you realize he’s not nervous about being scolded, but because he’s concerned about you. It’s a touching realization that shouldn’t be shooting lightning straight to your core. See? Things are weird now.

“Yeah. Really long.” Your mouth suddenly goes dry as all the agonizing fantasies involving him come to mind.

“Alright, guys.” Kun uses his player one privileges to close the game out, taking the time to turn the switch off despite the groans and protests around him. “Let's give her her house back.” Kun reaches over to tug an urgently protesting Yeri up from the couch. You alternate between monitoring the slackers making excuses to stay and monitoring Kun. His unwavering authority over everyone has you pressing your vagina between your thighs as discreetly as possible.

Back to twenty minutes ago when you wave goodbye to Kun, him seemingly moving in slow motion as the closing door gradually reduced your vision of him to nothing. You didn’t have time to mourn this when an overwhelming wave of arousal hits you once you realize you’re finally alone. You rush to your room, squealing as you hop onto your bed. You’re trying to get things started as fast as you can but trying to shove your headphones in your ear while pushing your pants off might’ve been delaying things. You eventually get situated, excitement thrumming through you as you find the perfect porn video.

“Oh shit.” Kun slams one of his hands onto the steering wheel.

“What?” Sooyoung asks from the backseat. “Forget something?”

Kun’s ensuing sigh answers the question for her. “My wallet. I dropped it in her room while I was getting her switch. I forgot to go back and grab it.”

“Does that mean we’re going back?” Yeri asks excitedly.

“No, leave that woman alone! I’ll drop you guys off and then go back.”

“Fine.” Yeri replies petulantly. “Then just drop me off at YangYang’s.”

“Me too.” Hendery says, followed by an echo from Sooyoung.

“Party at my place, yeah! Come straight to my place after you get it. Tell Ms. Bossy she can come too once she’s done being a stick-in-the-mud.”

Kun groans, not knowing where to start. Instead he just opts for agreeing. One could argue Kun dropping them off individually would’ve bought you more time. That doesn’t change the fact you were planning to go until your hands were tired and all your toys were dead. You would’ve been better off if Kun had forgotten about his wallet until tomorrow. It didn’t matter now that twenty minutes had passed.

You don’t hear the front door opening, you don’t hear Kun yell out to you, you don’t hear him open your bedroom door. Of course you don’t, because you have loud moaning, skin slapping, and sloshing noises blasting in your ears.

Kun wants to look away but remains focused in your direction. Should he try to grab his wallet secretly and leave? Or should he try to get your attention? And then what? Try to convince you it isn’t a big deal that he saw you rubbing your clit and watched your juices roll down until they soiled your comforter? Kun clenches his eyes shut before blinking them a few times. What was he doing?

No, he should walk back out– carefully– and text you from outside the house so you could get situated. Problem solved. Still, his feet remain rooted in the same spot.

“Kun, please~”

A strong sensation plows into him like a truck. You say his name so salaciously he can feel his cock humming. He looks down, cursing himself for wearing pajama bottoms as a joke. You can see his hardening member clear as day. A gasp from you tears his attention away. You both gape at each other in horror. To answer the question currently haunting you– how long has he been standing there– not that long, but long enough.

“I-I’m so sorry.” Kun speaks first, face-palming with a hearty groan. He peaks up at you, guilt very obvious in his face. He notices the way your eyes track downward. He worries lip.

“I know, I’m making things even weirder… Although I think you’re partly to blame for that too.” He explains as if he’s breaking the news to you. Your heart drops out of your ass as you scramble to sit up on your bed.

“What do you mean?” The words tumble out of your mouth. Only then do you realize your bottom half is very much still bare. You swipe one of your pillows and lay it over your lap.

“I um… I heard you say my name–”

You cry out in anguish as you cover your face. Kun moves closer, trying to console you but your dramatic wailing is too loud.

“It’s okay! It’s okay!”

“How?! How is it okay?!” You unintentionally scream at the man. Kun’s head rolls over his shoulders, his gaze hazarding toward his cock that’s showing no interest in softening.

“Maybe because we’re in the same boat?” He sounds unsure, or maybe it’s just how awkward this situation is. You sigh heavily, though it does nothing to drain the worry from your body.

“What do we do from here? It’s up to you.” Kun asks. You presume he’s asking you if you want to proceed like adults and acknowledge what happened, or bury it and take it to your graves. That’s not where your brain goes, though. You look at the way he regards you, that look in his eye he has for everyone. Authoritative care is what you’ll call it for now. Before you appreciated it because he was a dependable, great friend. Now you can’t stop thinking about anything but him coaxing you sweetly toward an orgasm.

“Help?” You blurt out, in hopes you don’t have to spell it out for him. Either way, the two of you are walking away from this with your friendship irreparably changed. Why not get something out of it? Kun looks at you in confusion and you sigh frustratedly. Only as you start to explain does his confusion dissipate.

“Help me… I’ll help you–”

Kun climbs onto your bed, kneeling in front of you. “I can help you.” He agrees, his voice soothing you. You can’t help humming at the way he phrases it. He grabs the pillow and tosses it to the side. You don’t get to be self-conscious about being exposed again, not when he’s already reaching down and scooping up your essence. He breathes a laugh.

“Something tells me you’re already ready to take me.”

Your face heats up but your eyes darken. You nod dumbly, agreeing with the obvious. He comments under his breath about how cute you are. You’re already missing his fingers down there.

“I still want to be sure.” His eyes implore you to give permission.

“Please?” The plea is wispy and pathetic. His eyes darken to match yours, it’s the first time you’ve seen him so openly hungry for something. He moves his soiled fingers toward his lips, hesitating for a second before plunging them into his mouth. His eyes flutter shut as he savors the taste. Your breathing becomes labored as you watch him doing something so filthy, something you thought you’d never see it outside of your fantasies.

“I want to taste more of you.” His voice deepens, sending a chill up your spine. With his hands on either side of your midriff, he eases you lower. You lie flat as he sinks to rest between your legs. His tongue eagerly laps at your mound. You crane your head back until it hits the mattress as his tongue presses firmly against you. Curving against your mound as he drags iti upward. It’s slow, so slow. You fist the sheets– it’s perfect, but you need more.

You plunge your fingers into the soft threads of his hair, clenching them and pushing him closer. He hums disapprovingly against you, pulling away to unlatch your hands from his hair. You pout, itching to disobey.

“Be patient.” He says lightly. Butterflies flutter inside your stomach as you drop your hands to your sides. You keep your eyes on him, aching for his approval.

“Good girl.”

Every inch of your skin ignites, every tiny hair standing on end. Your body feels like it’ll spark if he touches it, and he buries his face into your pussy. You cry out, throwing your head back. The heightened sensitivity doesn’t stop the entire time he laves over your clit. He uses his fingers to spread your folds, making sure your clit is fully exposed. You want to thrash and squirm against him, but you wouldn’t be a good girl if you did that. You would be getting in the way of him giving you what you asked for. So you fist your covers, whimpers and whines floating into the air.

He hums against you again, this time it sounds peaceful. Pleased with pleasing him, your body melts into the bed. This earns you another delightful hum. The static shocks of pleasure subside in favor of a distant one. One rumbling too far away but approaching quickly. As it closes in on you you feel the urge again. You want to press him in closer, clamp your thighs around him. But his eyes are looking intently at you, soft with their persuasion, keeping you good.

So instead your moans become fuller. Wanton oh’s and curses trickle from your lips. You screw your face up, everything becoming tighter the closer it comes. That coil is compressing tightly and you just know it’s about to snap.

“I’m gonna cum.” You say almost in distress as fretful moans fight free from you. “I’m gonna cum!”

You buck against Kun’s face, fists tightening around your covers and cracking some of your joints. The orgasm comes in waves, whipping you with electricity that borders on unbearable. Your vision whites out and in the middle of your clouded thinking you wonder if you’re still fantasizing. Kun rubs soothing, slow circles into your clit as he climbs up your body.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” He whispers right next to your ear, his hot breath raising goosebumps where it lands. He peppers kisses up from your shoulder to right under your ear as he slows his finger to a stop. “Are you ready?” He breathes out as he maneuvers to face you. Your eyes rake down his figure, his lips, the column of his throat, his shoulder, his chest. You linger on his arms, reaching up to fondle his muscles. He chuckles, his head dropping down and resting his forehead against yours.

He rolls off of you to shimmy off his pajama pants. You watch as the pair you used to associate with unstimulating situations are discarded and sullied in your mind forever. His shirt is slowly peeled away to reveal the toned stomach you’ve only seen peeks of. You couldn’t help your mouth watering then and nothing has changed now, especially with the dark hair leading to what you need the most. The boxers hugging his hips sit as low as they can without revealing himself. Not that it matters with how prominently his manhood is bulging from them.

He gives those a shimmy as well, pulling them over the hump of his dick. The band finally gives way, springing his cock free. He exhales shakily, his arm flexing as he closes his hand around the shaft and drags his fist all the way down. The member flings up again, slapping against his stomach. Your breath catches as the urge to whine overwhelms you.

He discards his underwear and swings his leg back over you, regarding you with an attentive gaze. You nod again before he can even ask if you’re okay.

“Good.” He chuckles, kissing your forehead. Hearing the first word of the phrase you crave and how long this is taken is giving you blue balls. You take a quick breath before flitting your eyes up at him.

“I want you.” You whisper.

“I know.” He replies with those passionate eyes and that warm smile. He scoops his hips lower, his tip brushing against your mound. “I want you too.”

He leans over to the nightstand right by your head, giving you an up close view to his pecs. You’re so distracted by the view that you don’t question what he’s doing. He comes back up with a condom in hand. Your brows squeeze together and you nearly ask him how he knew they were there, but that’s not a priority. Your priority is what he’s slipping the condom over right now. You swallow hard as the latex rolls every ridge and vein. You hum lewdly as you press your glossed lips against each other. Kun hisses as he lines himself up.

“I’ve been wanting to fuck you for so long–”

He drops that bomb just before easing himself in. Your shock gets caught in your throat, becoming a gargled moan. It means so much more now that he’s inside of you that he wasn’t just hard from the lewd scene. He saw you and heard you say his name and it drove him wild.

A part of it felt wrong. The way you rolled your hips up to coax him deeper, looking up at him. Qian Kun, the appointed leader of your friend group. If anyone else from the group chat knew about this they would freak out. The foundation of the entire group would be shaken. How wrong it felt just made his cock being deep inside you feel that much better.

He draws his hips back in a languid motion before easing them forward again. He inches inside you, the stretch stinging a little less.

“You okay?” He asks breathlessly. You nod for the umpteenth time that evening. You go to close your eyes when you feel him lean over you. You snap your eyes back open again, pleased by seeing him this close again. You look deeply into his dark chocolate eyes. “Can you use your words?” He asks, a hint of a scold in his tone. You nearly nod again, stammering when you catch yourself.

“Y-yes, I’m okay.”

“Good.” He’s plunging deep inside you but he’s edging you at the same time. You want him to say it again. Why won’t he say it? You whimper, snapping your hips up to his. He tsks, reaching down to hold your hips steady.

“Not very patient are you, baby?” His scolding is more blatant now. You pout and he pecks it. Once he lifts himself back up, his necklace is draped perfectly over your face. His thrusts gain a consistent rhythm, one that has his necklace bouncing over you. This excites you more than you expect it to, your hips twitching a few times through the jolts of pleasure.

Maybe you’re still high off the heightened arousal you’ve built up in the last hour or so but the friction he’s providing has you practically drooling. He draws his hips back so far that he pulls out. He pushes back in and keeps that motion until a turbulent moan comes rolling from the depths of your soul.

“Oh fuck, Kun!” Your legs start to tremble violently. Moans keep pouring from you before you get the chance to think. He keeps you wide and gaping, each time he draws back your hole clenches for him. His shameless moans from above you has your stomach twisted in knots. You clench your teeth, the sudden overwhelming pressure becoming too much.

“It feels so fucking good.” Your voice is reduced to a wispy shell of what it used to be. You lean forward to bury your head in his chest as the trembling in your legs quickens. “So fucking good.” The words woosh from you aggressively. His hips suddenly slam down and you sob against his chest. Your legs trap him in a shaky cage as your orgasm looms.

“Good girl.” He coos, his hand reaching down to cup your cheek. “Taking me so good.”

With that, your eyes roll back as your hips spasm. A guttural cry rips free from you as you grip like a vice around his cock. The tight grasp you have on him makes him whisper a shaky “Oh fuck…”. It’s impossible for him not to immediately fill the condom with you milking him like this. A sudden jerk has his hips drawing back and plunging very deep suddenly. Your back arches off the bed as the last of your orgasm ripples through you.

Along with a breath you didn’t know you were holding comes a groan that shreds your vocal chords. You’re reduced to whimpers after that, collapsing to the bed. Kun follows soon after, monitoring his weight so he’s not crushing you. He shushes you, cradling your head as he kisses your cheek. An airy laugh sounds from him.

“Very good girl.”

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nct 127/u masterlist

#nct #wayv #kun #qian kun #smut #x reader #x afab reader #imagine #imagines #kpop #fluff

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