#THATS MY WAY TO SAY I LUV U TO MYSELF

[windydrawallday]

CUDDLE ATTACK!

I want to share this before the lovey-dovey month of February ends :') Life got the best of me once more but at least I think I inject enough sugar with this tiny sequence 💝.

OH and those plushies were originally planned to be a gift to @jarofloosescrews but again time run over me and here we are orz

(And they got the record of the most grumpy-looking plushies I drew so far bahaha).

[foosybit]

Mayoi in PriPara Outfits Part 1

this is a suuuuuper long post cuz i did 2 drawings for about 20 outfits????? so here's the best ones so u dont miss anything by not actually going thru them all o7

but woooo !!! basically i've been on a long journey rewatching pripara very slowly so it's kinda seeping into my brain so i wanted to mess around with what outfits mayoi would go for if he went 2 pripara !! if u want a teal eyed version that also isnt split into parts, heres my pixiv post

last few things to say b4 i start, hello 3 pripara fans on my account, no boypara outfits cuz i didnt grow up with that (the last op i remember is the 6th one and i dont think im anywhere near that yet in my rewatch), honestly i have no clue if there's even proper boypara outfits??? i just know it exists idk anything about it, and if u see placeholders thats cuz i wanna keep the 3 image layout, thats the only reason why lol. and outfit descriptions will go below the art of the outfit. ok time 2 start !!!!!!

Petit Devi from Holic Trick Classic !! this was the first one I did back on.... Janurary 2nd lol. I have yet to see Mayoi in a bright pink but u know what, my executive decision says he deserves it. hi 3 pripara fans on my account again, i should also say most of these (like this one) will be from the arcade stuff cuz i just picked stuff i liked from the wiki's coord list

Sexy Girl from Holic Trick cuz Mayoi's the sexiest girl i know !! from now on all the coords will be from Holic Trick (an in-show brand) cuz 2bh w y'all i mostly just browsed Holic Trick for this whole series of drawings cuz im not going thru all those dam coords. although i've done 2 short skirts so far i do think mayoi'd like longer skirts more, but pripara likes short skirts more so so be it o7

Gothic Check !! the grey shirt and black jacket is kinda giving fs2 4star vibes so this would be the fs2 4star if enstars were cool (wore pripara outfits)

Modern Coffee Maid !! I was thinking of maybe changing the color but i liked the way the orange contrasts with the purple making it look kinda halloweeny :] I also have a personal bias towards brown i luv that color !! but ya if i had 2 say, he'd probably be a 3star if this were a set, kinda vaguely fits him but not enough to be under the spotlight imo

Classic Trump !! Sophy actually wears this in the show and i think it's so cute i wonder how the other alka members would style the vest in their own way (im 2 lazy 2 do that myself yawwnnn) in fact mayoi himself would probably prefer longer sleeves but u kno, stayed tru 2 the original n stuff, anyway say hello to bright pink again mayochan

Sparkling Jellyfish Sophy !! hi kanata hi fish wife hi nata hello nata hi nata whats up nata i love u nata

Nin'Nin Among the Water from Baby Monster !! when i saw this outfit i was chained to my tablet the demons were holding me hostage i had to make the ninja association wear it or i'd suffer a public execution

My Design Holic Trick !! back to holic trick for the rest again :] this is the one i posted on its own hehehehe it's still the one i put THE most effort into (which is why it's the only one i bothered to sign, still dont repost the rest tho please and thank u im just lazy) cuz man its a vibe its so good its one of my favs still i love stupid shorts and the puffy sleeves with the cropped vest and black and purple and the heart and bows and keys which are kinda all reasons i also like mayoi (heart in mayois vibe comes from his big heart muah) bless u mayoi i luv u

Night Navy !! mayoi loves to kill artists in cold blood with random intricate patterns (or maybe thats just an enstars thing in general) so i knew i had to give him this dress. gave him an undershirt cuz what if he gets cold :[

And that's it for this post !! I've now reached the image limit, so see ya in the next post !! (sorry foosybit followers for triple posting i didnt realize i drew so much)

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

tagged by @lemonmoonlimestar  thankuu *^o^* <3

Relationship status: trying to learn 2 luv myself Lol....neways we dnt talk about that stuff on here

Favourite colour: pink purple n yellow🎀💟⭐️

Song stuck in my head: a&w by lana del rey lol my friend who i hadnt talked to in forever came to me last week to tell me to listen to it (been years since i investigated any of lana’s new music) and im obsesed w this song noww

Last song I listened to: silent hill playlist before i went to sleep ln

Three fav foods:  meat specifically chicken wings (hotsauce type) cus i love the feeling of being like a feral animal eating off the bone. and like a rare ass bloody steak OMGGGG my mouth is watering LOL i go blood fiend mode when i start thinking about meat. curry especially indian food.. oh i really love potato in all forms too. my fav type of treat food is donut, just plain sugar donut and coffee

Last thing I googled: "C minor”

Dream trip: well ofc i rly wanna go to japan but my life would have to change SO much for that to even begin to resemble a possibility xD id love to go in winter/early spring.. honestly wish i cld go to the UK to try and reconnect w some of my family well mostly just my older brothers i rly miss them and feel emptiness in my heart about it. o & im dying to go to some places along the east coast usa cus i love it over there n have many friends i cld see !! thats the most realistic idea

Anything I want right now: hmmm....i want to feel calm, and secure in reality,, basically i just want  like $10,000 and ill b good. i want to be a good friend n help people in watever ways i can.

idk who to tag cus i could keep listing off ppl forever so if u want to do this u can just say i tagged u ^_^ #<3.

[chryblossomjjk]

I just wanted to say this to all the readers who are asking about a part 2 of the weekend.

While I, too, would LOVE a continuation bc it was finger licking good (if y'know what I mean) and the execution was AMAZING, we do need to respect kiki's choice to only release the one part of the story.

She's not giving up on the story or trying to ignore the interests of her readers. But instead, is putting out her story in the way she wants to present it and choosing to share that with her audience.

It's the same as if she painted a beautiful but somewhat heartbreaking and bittersweet portrayal of love on a canvas, and we asked her to further it to give it a happier and more soft narrative just for our enjoyment without appreciating the rich concepts already there.

She allows room for interpretation after the ending for the readers, but furthering the story wasn't part of the idea she wanted to capture.

So, let's try to remember as readers that to truly appreciate the works that writers are SHARING with us (that they do outside of both school and their jobs) means respecting their boundaries when they say they won't continue a story and not trying to peer pressure them into changing the storyline/develop it further to fit our wants bc that's not kind nor is it considerate.

That aside, the story wouldn't be very genuine in the end if she did. She can't cater to everyone, and honestly, every fic would pretty much be the same if writers did that.

Kiki has been very gracious and sweet to everyone asking about pt 2 or an ending, and I very much admire that, but we should really try not to abuse that. Y'all are such cool readers, but we can always be cooler by respecting kiki 🤘😌.

Ily u kiki 🥺. You're so cool and deserve all the hype and luv💕✨️.

bby i love you with my entire soul and being and you mean the world to me!!

it doesn't necessarily bother me that people are asking for a part two, i appreciate the enthusiasm and interest in my writing!! means the world to me!! but with that being said, the point of this piece is to be ambiguous and up to interpretation!! this story is meant to just hang in the air, no resolution, no hopeless heartbreak.

and i agree!! i know that fanfic is escapism to everyone, me included, however, its also someone's writing yk? and topics they like to explore. i generally tend to like writing realism and angst. not that happy endings aren't realistic, however, they're not realistic in every circumstance!! especially the plot of the weekend!! my escapism is just exploring plots n characters in a way that feels authentic to the world im trying to create!!

furthermore, any movie or book or writing thats ever stuck with me has had an unideal or unexpected ending, so those just tend to be the things i like to write!!

also platform changes have kind of killed my willingness to write certain things lol. for whatever reason, the platform has been super duper agressive with labeling and shadowbanning my fics within like 2.5 seconds of posting lol, so my motivation to write is not what it used to be. not that i dont want to, just my dedication to one storyline is faltering as of now!! i do apologize!! i understand that a lot of people support my writing and i do feel some sense of beholden (idk if i used this word right rip, i just mean i feel like i owe you guys!!) to those people bc i genuinely appreciate the love sm!! all i can promise is to provide the best stories i can with what i feel motivated to write!! i have no desire to continue the weekend and never intended too!! if i did it would be v disingenuous to myself and readers!! hope you all understand!! love u dearly <3

[purring-tiefling]

(doing a poll so you can give me an answer without interacting non-anonymously. lurkers i luv u)

quick overview: me & my gf are in a long distance relationship and we're watching different youtube vids on a discord call every day.

last vid we watched was actually a remix of a song we both liked. she also liked the remix and said so, and i disliked it and said (with a positive tone) "well its good that one of us liked it!"

her: "you didn't have to say it like that. you could've kept quiet"

me: "but- how would you prefer me say it? 'i didn't really like it', like that?"

her: "you didn't have to say anything at all"

me: "but i sent you music i liked some time in the past and you openly said you didn't like it?"

her: "but you were asking for my opinion by sending it to me. i didn't ask you to comment on this video"

me: "so... why do we even watch anything together if not for hearing opinions?"

her: "just 'cause?"

this might be me being anti-social or neurodivergent in some way or whatever, but i don't understand this interaction.

the thing i commented on negatively (it literally wasn't even that negative, i tried to turn it into a positive thing, but okay) wasn't something she made or had personal investment in. if she showed me her art, for example, and i didn't like it, i wouldn't say anything bad unless given permission to. or if the maker of that remix was with us in the room/call, i would just say it's nicely done.

when our opinions are the same (even if negative), it's perfectly okay to say it outloud, but this time they were different, and i was basically told to not say anything negative? like i get that hearing that something you liked your partner didn't like, because i've been there before with her, once again with music; i've been really upset actually, but those are MY feelings, not hers, and i value all of her opinions. i've worked on myself so i don't get upset when someone insults my passions, which is what i think is healthy and i recommend this to everyone. and in this situation, i think my opinion was really devalued. once again, i get being upset... but i honestly wouldn't have the strength to tell my loved one to not say her opinion if it's negative

and this point is a repeat of what i asked her: why watch anything together if not for sharing our opinions, whatever they may be?

and here comes time for the poll. so i knooowwww these categories can be too steep, but imagine this: you're in a call with us and we turn to you to decide who's right, or, at least right-er. who would you choose? this will help me understand humans a bit better. please help me im definitely fucking neurodivergent

[calledbyflowers]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox of the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! Get to know your followers.

my gf

the prologomena to the logical investigations by edmund husserl

soft scrambled eggs

public transit

the kill james bond podcast

my gf is so pretty and nice and sweet and caring and lovely and beautiful and she has a wonderful facility w language a real elegance in the way that she communicates and the way that she moves thru the world and a few days ago she gagged me w her used panties and then bit my neck and my tits and started groping me and then when she spanked me i came

i truly adore husserls logical investigations especially the prologomena. i fink it develops the idea of a correlation without priority extremely well and informs my own metaphysical views a lot. like the idea that an ideal meaning has as its objective correlate a state of affairs  and vice versa that the world is correlated w a system (systems in the plural id say) of meanings and in turn w the ideal possibility of consciousness (in community w other consciousness) cognizing evidentially this kind of metaphysical trinity where from each element the others r interderivable its just beautiful and ik that ur kind of abstracting out a slice of reality and obstructing the flow of being in doing so but as nietzsche says of spinoza one can do this motivated by a love of the world and a desire to preserve it in all its splendor rather than a disdain for the world (tho i do obvs have disdain for The World thats in another sense of world bla bla bla). also husserl dunks on empiricists and like the intellectual precursors to evo psych douchebags which is always a good time

i luv scrambled eggs (both literally and metaphorically hehehe) but like in a literal sense i watched this j kenji lopez alt video abt making fancy girl scrambled eggs where u like boil water to get it to the right temperature and put cold butter in it and u remove it from heat before its fully solidified to give it this rlly nice like curdy creamy texture it fucks so hard. i also add cheese

public transit is a glory unto God which affirms our creaturely nature as being which r not perfect autonomous liberal little points of self-directed being but rather as in community w and depending upon each other. public transit is dependence and it is liberation. u can go anywhere. do anything. u dont need a car or to find a place to park or anything. ur just at a place. i visited germany three times and each one was a kind of hell of sinkng further and furhter into depression but the one saving grace of each experience was that i got to ride the train. german trains fill me with a kind of intense religious fervor but even the bus system in my hometown is a place where divinity glimmers thru into this fallen world

i like my funny lil podcasts where the funny lil ppl in my phone say silly things and sometimes serious and devestating things and sometimes when im extremely depressed or im so dysphoric that to look at another human being fills me w dread (either looking at a femme or androgynous person and seeing how im Not That or looking at a masc person and comaring myself to them) and it helps me leave my body a lil bit and just vibe and chill and it gets me thru some hard times. rn thats mostly listening to kill james bond which is a v funny cast

[sttoru]

Hey barbie, for the game:

angel; are you religious or spiritual?

bubbles; do you have a best friend?

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.

euphoric; talk about someone you love.

hiii barbie ^___^ !! thank u for the askkk ehhe m excited to answer thesee

ask game !

angel: are you religious or spiritual?

yesss! ‘m religiousss, won’t say religion, but i am heehhe

bubbles: do you have a best friend?

i think like maybe one .. or two? idek what’s considered a best friend but i dont have many friends irl any way uhhhh lets say just one

daisies: describe a moment where you felt free.

omg there was this one moment where i felt like going to another city out of nowhere so i took the train, sat alone and stared out of the window for like two whole hours and got off at a random station. then i took another train & another & another just dropping off at whatever place sounded interesting and just going to explore on my own. all the while blasting music in my headphones :33 i was in my own bubble the entire time, getting food and cute accessories aaa just being by myself is amazing

euphoric: talk about someone you love.

ehh idk abt anyone irl but i love my fictional men ☝🏽☝🏽i luv toji but satoru also has a special place in my heart so ima take the opportunity and rant abt his character a little here: ok so i didn’t like satoru at first bcs he annoyed me LMAO but then a mutual on twt told me to read the manga and that i’ll like him more since i was an anime only during the first episodes of jjk s1. then… bam i was hit with the realisation that his character was just so complicated, tragic and… beautiful 😞.. the way he cares abt ppl, especially younger students who still have their entire youth before them, is just so heart wrecking bcssss its all cuz his own childhood was stripped from him :( toji incident, riko situation, becoming the strongest, geto betrayal & death, overworking and overstimulating himself cuz of his six eyes technique — I WANTED TO HUG HIM. like just wanna give him one good hug that makes him relieve his built up anxiety and stuff yk.. (thats why i started writing for him bcs hello i have the power to do so & ima make it canon myself by using that power ✍🏽) ANYWAYS i realised why he was misunderstood sm cuz his character is so deeeeppp but i also love him bcs ehem, his looks & attitude. LOOKKK i didn’t like his attitude at first but it grew on me and now i wanna be a victim to his endless teasing & joking plus the fact that hes prob over 195cm got me creaming likeeeee im super short and i’d literally have to break my neck to see him :( SOBS i want him so bad

[blairwitchh]

was talking to one of the actors at the little brunch wrap party for the film i worked and he's so nice and was talking abt his boyfriend who was in the hospital the other day for his heart (bc he was born w/ a heart issue etc but he's FINE so its ok) so he couldn't come and mentioned they met on tinder lmao then we talked a bit about dating apps and i was like yeah im on em all lol and he was like 'oh but ur a total catch' and like....maybe im Not too weird and stupid for love lmaoo

[poorlittlevampire]

oh wait actually i wanted to say before i sleep that while i hate hux i like. low key love him but that’s only bc i luv the actor who plays him and i LOVE the film frank like. it’s one of my most absolute fave films ever and even tho i think the character he plays in frank fuckin sucks i luv him and so i hate hux but i luv hux and that’s that on THAT

[cleostoohot]

OOKAYYYY

im sure u get a lot of anons asking why they dont have results, blah blah blah. as someone who recently uncovered my root problems heres some advice. imma continue to to roex3dol even if the 3d doesnt show results (which it eventually will) imma continue affirming after 3 days.

HERE IS HOW TO COMBAT THE INSECURITY:

as im sure you have all heard before, dont stress the results will show up in the 3d if you keep affirming.

THE BIGGEST INSECURITY that will get in your way is "what if...." or imagining yourself after 3 days not having your desire or really seeing your future self not with ur desires. If you fall into any of these categories or something similar, catch yourself and start affirming that it has absolutely zero choice but to work. when you imagine yourself failing you are creating that room for failure, you cant believe two polar opposite concepts at once. IT IS POSSIBLE TO BELIEVE IN THE ONE YOU WANT!

ive known abt manifesting (attraction) since aug 2020, i found solar subs and law of assumption in jan 2021, in around aug 2021 i found neville and loa tumblr, in nov 2021 i started manifesting small things. now i still have manifested small things but not my dream life it hasnt appeared in the 3d. thats my experience. ive fumbled AAAAALLOOOTT. i was gonna write this on my blog but after almost two years of experience ill quickly list my largest cause of failure.

WAVERING/NOT PERSISTINGl

one day i would try affirming for the void and after that didnt work i would do a challenge, and after that didnt work i did bkanket affirmations and after that didnt work i did sats and after that didnt work i would do meditations. i didnt think i was doing anything wrong, looking back im so frustrated with myself for wasting so much time. and if lets say i did void affirmations, blanket affirmations, meditations all in one manifesting routine if i missed one i would start over because i believed it wouldnt work despite reading otherwise. this is a new realization, im not even sure i have a total grasp on my mistakes now, but imma keep persisting.

how im going to fix this: i have 1 thing i will do daily which is affirming. i have 2 affirmations i will always use "roe i have all my desires" "roe i manifest in 3dol" even after 3 days imma keep affirming. im working towards holding the assumption that it has no choice but to appear in the 3d. even just yesterday i was abt to quit "maybe i should just be okay with what i have now and revise___" NOPE. im working towards my dream life so i wont stop. just because im getting some material items in my 3d doesnt mean i should be good with what i have now. i will wake up in my dream house and blah blah blah other dream things. my tendency to do that is most likely bc im scared i wont manifest my dream life. I WILL, YOU WILL, WE ALLL WILL!!!! stick with your decisions, dont be afraid of time passing, that will hold you back.

i said this earlier i was gonna write this on my own blog but i feel more ppl would see it here. i hope that previous example i said about switching to void, to med, to affirmations really sticks with someone because that realization was key.

if you dont have what you want in the 3d after 3 days, GENUINELY address your beliefs. when blogs suggested to address your limiting beliefs, i never would bc i thought i was doing everything perfectly. BUT IM SERRRIOUUUSSSS address them. heres cleos post abt somethings that may be holding you back that was my catalyst fr to address what i was doing wrong, even if my exact problem wasnt listed there.

TYYYY CLEOOOOOOOO ill continue affirming!!!! sorry for typing mistakes i manifested a laptop but ive only used tumblr on mobile.

tysmmm for this luv💗💗💗 you should put it on ur blog too

[ajaegerpilot]

very much grappling with the existential threat of C.C. in which I enjoy ignoring the possibility of mass extinction because it should have nothing but a positive bearing on how much we should fight to prevent that possible future, but that said, on the chance that mass extinction is or will be unavoidable, do you ever fight a battle because you believe you will win it or do you fight it because you must fight it?

it’s sad because I do think out of the cesspool of all the many ways we have invented and upheld inequality, humanity is wonderful and we can sculpt ourselves into the most beautiful thing in the world, that freedom and the desire for freedom is innate to us and that liberation is something so much blood sweat tears has been and is being shed for and that is inevitable because despite it all you cannot kill the best of humanity. except, of course, for the part where you can - where greed for power (even from a few) leads inevitably to the destruction of all (starting with the least at fault). which sucks because i really thought all we needed was time, and now we don’t even have that.

it leaves me wondering, on the cusp of graduating from chemistry, on where i should go that I can best help change things. if it’s morally right for me to pursue chemistry I find most interesting when I’m possibly at a place where I can pursue chemistry that can provide solutions for a sustainable world. but i think the answer really is ... my future has to be about reaching out to people, no matter where I go. if I learn something that will help me, it has to be there to help others. even to like.. go to grad school to like.. help make an awesome battery for clean energy storage, or good non fossil fuel plastic alternatives, or improve a CO2 sequestration technique ... it’s kind of an individualist dream.. to think that i’m doing my part just because I would participate in finding some sort of green tech to save the world. it’s a savior fantasy, really.

i guess really the point is that ... while yes, we need so many more people working on these solutions, the biggest blow in the fight against C.C. is not going to be something only a scientist can do. a scientist can help educate and inform in the conversation, help elucidate the problem, but at the end of the day ... C.C. is the natural outcome of [redacted] and as such eliminating [redacted] is what we have to do. we can not woo the ppl in power into a green future and even if we could (WE CANNOT), it would not solve the problems that lead to C.C. and other negative impacts.

dont reblog

[magic-number-3]

Top 5 ajr songs for the top 5 ask

shaking my fist like an old man darn you for making me answer this question!!! Ugh how am I supposed to choose?? I’m doing 6 cause fuck you i cant narrow it down anymore (not really fuck you its a joke <3) anyways the songs are under the cut cause I decided to explain my reasoning and it got very very too long. So in no particular order:

Don’t Throw Out My Legos - this song. REAL AND TRUE. I relate personally so much to this song because ~I moved away from home to follow my dreams~ and while the song is about wanting to preserve your childhood home and/or bedroom beacuse you dont want to face the fact of growing up, to me its also about wanting to preserve those sacred spaces in case, ya know. Follow your dreams fails and you have to return home. And so for me that has to be my top 5. Like people say ‘oh this song scratches an itch in my brain’ this song does that to my soul. N E way.

World’s Smallest Violin - ~its the mental illness luv~ . my 2nd most listened to song on spotify of all time and it only came out last year. Its killer

Turning Out - this was one of the first AJR songs I ever heard after that sponegbob song lmao (What Everyone’s Thinking EP, thank u for ur service) and DAMN if I havent cried listening to this song. Multiple times. I interpret this song as one of those where people are like ‘i dont feel like a whole person’ and i relate to that. like im TECHNICALLY a fully grown adult now but boy is that only technically. ‘You say I turned out fine / I think I'm still turning out’ and the ending of the song, ‘I'm a little kid, and so are you / Don't you go and grow up before I do / I'm a little kid with so much doubt / Do you want to be there to see how I turn out? / Cause I’m still turning out’ . Theres a feeling, a need to tell people whats going on because ppl think ur fine but ur not and youre nervous of an inevitable crash thats coming that no one will understand. But you dont know how to tell people. Youre scared to and you dont know how to make them understand. Anyway :(

Burn The House Down - this song goes SO. HARD. Its got a killer beat and this genius lyrics explanation says it all: ‘The titular line of the song is a blunt invitation for a sort of political revolution, at least in a metaphorical sense, in that the whole system will be replaced bottom-up with something new’. lets go burn the house down.

Way Less Sad - also my 5th most listened to song of all time on spotify. Like I’ve said before, its very uplifting and optimistic song to me. Maybe things aren’t great, but they’re better than they once were. And theres something very comforting abt not accepting that you dont have to be 'Happy' - whatever that means - that you can just be better than you once were. it relieves the pressure a little bit.

Karma - its very similar to worlds smallest violin, but the way that the musicality pushes the feeling and ideas in the song makes it just completely different imo. The way the music is constantly pushing the song forward - it never lets up and jack is in a rush to get all of these feelings out and he doesnt understand why he feels this way or why these things are the way they are and it all comes to a head with the final bit of the song when its pretty much silent, just him talking. The way the instrumentals push forward the concept and meaning of the lyrics is just some genius music making imo. Jack talking and talking and the way it speeds up and theres barely time to take a breath if youre singing along - the FEELING of the song, struggling to get these words out. The heart of it is very dear to me and meant a lot to me when it came out. I’m lucky that when I sing along now its not so much as a ‘these are my words i never knew how to say’. Its concepts no longer reflect my own stage of life, but when it did this song was very dear to me. Still is. Regardless of favoritism in relation to myself and simply as a piece of music, I do think it is possibly one of their BEST songs.

Some other faves cause how can I just mention FIVE??

100 Bad Days, the spiritual predecessor to Way Less Sad. GOES HARD

Next Up Forever and Finale - At first I was so bummed they didnt do an overture because I genuinely am such a slut for ajrs overtures but I love the way they these songs work as bookends to this album and I love the ideas explored in these two songs and the way they bounce off each other

[captainaikus]

Its currently 6:00am and I haven’t slept yet💀. I just realized that I am going back to classes again on Jan 3. I suddenly lost all motivations for new years… I still have a lot due but I didn’t get to do it during break because I was really resting my mind and everything but now that the fact I didn’t do my activities, I felt guilty for not doing it, I know my mom is gonna be pissed. Idk why I’m like this. I say things like “imma do this tomorrow”, “imma do this for the whole week” but I end up not doing it. Its easy for me to lose focus and lost all motivation. I get really lazy. I hope when I wake up later in the afternoon I can do something about it. SORRY FOR RANTING IN NEW YEARS THIS WAS SUPPOSE TO BE A HAPPY TIME BUT MY MIND SAID NO😭. I luv u belle, and oliver and sae and shidou hehe love y’all so much💗

-💙

HAPPY NEW YEAR BELLE!!! Its currently 2:55am and I’m eating with my sister hehe. I hope we will all have a great year🥳✨-💙

Happy new year to you too blue! Okay, not wanting to spoil anyone's new year when I'm talking about it, but I'll be real here. Any kind of holiday cannot be spent in peace. Why? Cause its ruined by corporates, work, school and basically any job. People can't live in the moment cause they're worried about whats going to happened ahead. And the thing is whats supposed to happen in the future, hasn't happened in the present but we worry about it cause we think we're going to fail at whatever it is or worried sick about performing well. I have assignments pending, a lot of reading work to catch up on and in general. a lot of projects that carry more than half my grade along with a test this coming week. But rather than worrying about how well will i fare, i stay positive that I'm going to do well no matter what. Staying positive is really important when you go through this cause you only have yourself to rely on even if you bank on others for support. for eg, my parents and siblings know what I want to do or become, but do they know what I study or read or do? no. So its important to stay positive and don't worry you got this in the bag. Start a little and eventually it builds up over a period of time. There are times when i procrastinate but then i remind myself that there are people out there who are sweating more than me and if i want better results for things, i have to grind it out and work hard. But yeah, stay positive and believe in yourself. that's really important. and always remember that a job well begun is half done. changing your frame of mind to a positive one and working in an environment thats new helps. like when i'm busy doing chores or cleaning up something i either listen to music or audios and same before sleeping too.

small changes can go a long way and maybe you could give it a shot too if you want 0^^0 *Belle, Oliver, Sae and Shidou sending luv back with hugs*

[garoujo]

emmie! before i start i just wanna say hii! ok so…i need advice. so i also write on tumblr and it’s been great to say the least, but the only problem is it’s kinda hard for me to stay consistent. like i’m doing kinktober and i put out 3 post for each week, and i was doing well at the beginning. but as time went on, i found myself rushing on the last days of the kinktober week to write and publish the stories. so my question is…what are ways i can maybe remember to write or stay motivated because i’m at a complete loss here.😭 any suggestions help! thank you for reading this emmie, luv you ( ˘ ³˘)♥!-🍞 nonnie

omgosh hi nonnie !!! aaaaa i didn’t know u also wrote thats so coool !!! nooooo cause this is so real … like as someone also doing kinktober like my motivation has totally dwindled 4 it sob so i completely get u !!! i was pre-writing a lot of the stuff at the start & that kind of helped alot w staying consistent but at this point i’m just gritting my teeth n trying 2 finish the last few yk !!! but don’t force urself 2 complete it .. like u can edit ur mlist & take out ones ur not wanting 2 do etc ૮ ˵˃̵ ³ ˂̵˵ ა like u wanna have fun so don’t feel like u need 2 finish them all [i took a few out my mlist 4 motivation purposes n im so glad] <3

[ileaveclawmarks]

different anon here but I just want to say I genuinely appreciate how unapologetic and confident you are about ur body hair especially as someone who is attracted to women with body hair and as someone who prefers to not shave but feels pressured to due to societal norms and what not idk I guess I'm just wondering how you like got over/ stopped caring about what other people think cause that's what's difficult for me :/

Thats literally everything i want to hear. i love doing this cuz not only is the insane excess body hairy a huge automatic dyke magnet that i dont even have to put any work into, but also because for every 10 people who look at me with revulsion theres always 1 person who thinks … maybe i can also have the confidence to do that. Thats my revolution. okay this ones gonna be long so hit that read more

So. when i was a novice non-shaver going out in public with even just a sliver of hairy leg showing literally gripped me in fear, like panic stricken burning fear. It was insane and pathetic and ridiculous how disabling this terror was over such a stupid arbitrary thing. I used 2 have repetitive nightmares about it, just the sickest dread terror imaginable. LMFAO.

If ur gonna ask how to get over that fear the straight answer is u cant, not fully. This is the product of some serious conditioning and socialization that has been at work since u were born. like it doesnt just go away. Even i havent gotten over it, like sometimes i seriously struggle with it. U can definitely get used to it though. I prefer to not shave and feel that everyday terror over shaving. And ill tell u why, so u can approach it with the same reasoning.

first of all i hated the physical act of shaving, really fckin hated waxing, every hair removal method is either painful, time consuming or expensive. And its worthless anyways because ur stubble is back in by the next morning. Who benefits?? and what are the consequences? I am making my body unnatural, conformist, and alien to me through a tedious and painful process. why do i harm myself in this way? Why put my psyche thru this? why is my body wrong in its natural state? what happens if i DONT shave?

and this is the crux of the matter: NOTHING HAPPENS. Other than the fact that it creates this fear, there is NO consequence to not shaving. In general no one will care and no one will treat you any different. Nothing will change in your daily life. you may likely get stares or rude comments from strangers on occasion but at the end of the day those things dont really matter. They seriously dont matter at all. Let go of the need to be judged correctly by all strangers. These people are fleeting milliseconds of your life. Remember this every time u go out.

and u must go out ... in this case exposure therapy really does work. Theres literally nothing else 2 do but go out unshaved. Just force urself over and over. Just do it. Do it until u dont even realize anymore. The day will come! U wont even notice it until ur looking at the women around u in public and u find it strange to see them hairless. On this day u will revel in ur shavelessness. Thank god u dont look like the prepubescent pedophilic fantasy that the mans world wants u to look like. U will view it with revulsion and horror, the idea of making urself into a little hairless girl to emulate their sick pornography and obsession with fucking literal minors. Never again!!!! This is where the revolution starts!!!

and i will tell u now. Once u finally grow out ur leg hair and theres no stubble or itchiness left it is going to feel so nice. Stroke it nd shit, for real. This is important. Look at it with luv. If you cant do that, look at it with neutrality. GET USED 2 ITS PRESENCE ... this is ur one and only body.

Now, if u can, find urself a group of women or lesbians who also dont shave. Look for urself in them and feel comforted by the fact that u wont b judged here. Get ur mind used to the NORMALCY of body hair. If ur lucky u might have other lesbian or even just alternative friends who find your body hair sexy or are jealous of ur confidence in growing it out. HUGE EGO BOOST! Take it when u can find it. This one helped me a lot because i am a natural attention whore and narcissist.

And besides if ur anything like me in that u fucking hate males with a militant blood boiling violent rage, then u might also remind urself: the struggle you face over your body hair is ABSENT in all the men that you see around you. Absent. Never there and never will be. what gives them the right and not me? They live their lives so mindlessly free of any of this. Dont shave your legs cuz … fuck em, thats why!!! 🗣 Show those sick mfers. Dyke revolution by just walking down the street and being comfortable in ur own skin. Love the strange looks that u get in public. Fuck them!!!

So thats how i mostly stopped caring about being unshaven, kind of a mix of acknowledging how stupid it is to do so as well as a bit of exposure therapy, community, and good old dyke hatred and cynicism. Remember that every time you go out you are showing other women that this is a possibility for them too. I hope this little guide gave u some inspiration for the future. I appreciate how hard it is to stop shaving but honestly once u do stop its even harder to start doing it again. Good luck and i wish u all the strength, drive, confidence and attitude u r going 2 need. And if u ever want to talk more about it im always right here at ileaveclawmarks on tumblr.com ... 🤍🤍🤍

[frogboyandzombieface]

okay tough guy, you think you can get me every time? bet. 1-30 for the asks <33 >:3

YOOOUUU!!!!! BENNIEEEE 😭😭😭😭💖💘💕💞💘💓💘💞💕💘🥰i love u so much i aDORE you 

1. what song makes you feel better?

hmmm uhh probably lemon demon songs cuz like they are so fun and nonsensical and it sorta startles me into feeling happier JHKFDJKHF like mask of my own face i LOVE IT. or deep swim by windows 96 its a very chill song good to help come down from dissociation or panic attacks

2. what’s your feel-good movie?

coraline all the way LMAO i just love it. or tbh the IT movies cuz i just love the little kids!!!!

3. what’s your favourite candle scent?

IDK i love like nearly all the scents theyre so good but ujhmm uuhhh pears 😳😳i actually do adore french pears, i have a lot of stuff to make candles and every time i make candles i cant resist using french pear as a scent lolol

4. what flower would you like to be given?

as i told u before i Luv bottlebrushes and waratahs like 😳😳omfg but i actually do love lilies too or crane flowers !! they look like birds !! i fucking love crane flowers fhjjhfjkhfg

5. who do you feel most you around?

you <3333 BUT for ppl irl definitely my best friend who ive known since i was a baby and my cousin we’ve been a trio for ages i love em fjhkgjkhg theyre the only friends that ever stuck with me lol. anywWAYS ima stop myself from oversharing lol

6. say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).

GAH u sneaky little bugger... okay i will try

1. i rly like my eyes hfdjhkfdjkh

2. i actually dont mind my legs that much i like em! 

3. i rly like my eyebrows fjhkgfhjgf

4. uuuhh i like my puzzle skills (like puzzle games and jigsaws etc) 

5. fuck the non physical is so hard uh,MM?? its scaring me that its so hard lol but i like the way im willing to make friends with all different ppl

6. i like my passion for plants and animals ig hfhhg

7. what colour brings you peace?

GREEEN !!!!1 i fucking LO V  E green at the moment like my favs change sometimes for colours but i love green its such a nice calming colour and plants are green so :))))

8. tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good.

OHHH i wonder WHO to tag wow this is SO hard i have absolutely no idea who to tag for this................................................  @cinnachee (duh) BUT ALSO !!! @yearning-and-arson @autistic-ace-bee @lifewasawillowtv @zombiewheeler @iinkycat and literally ALL my mutuals and followers ily all <33333

9. what calms you down?

ummm music, podcasts, having a fan running (usually in summer tho) someone telling me a random story for distraction, playing maybe a game of sudoku (i luv sudoku i actually play it a lot) i guess are some things fjkhgkjhg

10. what’s something you’re excited for?

UHH my work is opening up a new store closer to my house that im gonna be working at in april and im excited !! because the new people who own the one im currently working at are FUCKED they keep fucking everyone over with shifts and they are such tightasses we have like mice upstairs and downstairs and water flooding from air conditioners and other shit but im not gonna go on a rant about my work lol.. already annoy the shit out of my friends enough with it HAHA BUT IM excited to get out of this shithole and go to the better one !!! AND OF COURSE SEASON 4 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BYLER !!!!!!!!!!!!! MAY 27TH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

11. what’s your ideal date?

LITERALLY ANYTHING except like a fancy restaurant i dont like that shit... i want fun stuff yknow or just where we CAN have fun yknow? like we could straight up just go to a 7-11 and get a slurpee but as long as we have fun while doing it and get to spend time together then i think its a good date :)) like thats what i think it should be abt like spending quality time wirh ur partner (though i wont say no to like dessert dates like going to get ice cream or crepes etc .... i love the idea of dessert dates :’) ) 

12. how are you?

umm idk i could be better lol. on my period so i feel like shit and i also got my booster shot so i feel doubly shit lol and i havent done a single bit of drawing or writing today its just... ug h. like i really want to but every time i opened it up to try my brain said NO lie down on the couch and just do nothing productive... fucking  khjjkhjkhhjkfghjkfghjk but hopefully ill feel better tmrw 

13. what’s your comfort food?

ASIAN FOOD FJHFGJK like omg rice paper rolls or japanese food or like beef and blackbean noodles... literally God. though a nice good bowl of curry too GOD i love curry but alsO CHOCOLATE AAA esp like a nice choccy cake... BUT ALSO I LOVE FRIED RICE DISHES ??? or PAELLA? is also comfort.. im just as bad as choosing a fav food as u bennie HJKFDSKJHFDKSJ 

14. favourite feel-good show?

stranger thinGSSSS OF COURSE FJKHFJHK i watch it daily.. but also the office is nice too :)) i actually realised recently tho i dont watch tv shows all tHat much?? i watch more movies than shows,, like i can think of maybe 5 tv shows ive ever watched LMAO idk why ive never really watched many tv shows..

15. for every emoji you get, tag someone and describe them in one word.

???? i literally dont understand this.. for every emoji i ‘get?” like every emoji i have in my recent or are ppl sposed to send me emojis ?? or do i choose one for someone? i dont understand this im sorry bennie my brain has never been smaller...

16. compliment the person who sent you this number.

YOU ARE PERFECT AND SPECIAL AND AMAZING IN EVERY FUCKING WAY !!!!! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH !!!!! I LOVE YOUR MUSIC YOUR WRITING YOUR FACE YOUR GLASSES YOUR HAIR YOUR FASHION SENSE YOUR SMILE YOUR EYES YOUR SENSE OF HUMOUR YOUR - i am stopping myself before this becomes an I Love Bennie essay

17. fairy lights or LED lights?

hmmm LED lights i think r my style im Edgier but fairy lights fuck tooooo!!!!

18. do you still love stuffed animals?

YEAH DUH???@?? who DOESNT? stuffed animals are so amazing and cute ands they slap sm... i still have nearly all my stuffed toys from when i was a kid i treasure them

19. most important thing in your life?

ummm i dont really know?? like.. i guess having a good time yknow? like doing what i love and spending quality time with friends and fam when i can but also spending quality time with myself too, and not letting other peoples opinions influence that unless i want it as well.. i guess love is at the core of it lol . and that means all types of love, platonic and familial and self love as well as romantic because they are just as important !! though you dont have to love your blood family if they dont treat you good found families are just as valid !! 

20. what do you want most in the world right now?

to see u 😭😭💞💖💗💝💕💓 KJDHFHJK but also to like. be normal i guess like no mental illness cuz it would mean SO many things in life would be so much easier but ik thats a futile dream so like !! yeah BUT LIKE BENNIE U HAVE NO IDEA HOW BADLY I WANNA MEET U KFHJKFGKH LIKE HOLY SDHIT I GENUINELY LIKE WANNA SAVE UP FOR PLANE TICKIES TO CANADA FHJKGFJLG 

21. if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

umm enjoy life as much as you can i guess .. enjoy your youth even if your childhood was fucked up by that thing , dont let it stop you from being a kid still. and also you are going to become emo . ended on a lighthearted note lol 

22. what would you say to your future self?

idk honestly i just hope shit is going well for you and got to do what you wanted, or at least youre happy lol 

23. favourite piece of clothing?

my chokers !!! i love them !!! but ALSO i have these fishnets with butterfly patterns on one side of the leg and ITS AH FDJKHFDKGJHGKHJD I LOVE IT its so pretty :’) 

24. what’s something you do to de-stress?

420 blaze it 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤪🤪🤪🥴😵🤯😩😧😩😨😨😞😱🤕but also playing this game called unpacking is sos sosososo good i love it , and listening to music in the dark too is nice 

25. what’s the best personal gift someone could give you (playlist, homemade card, etc.)

ANYTHING !!!!!! LITERALLY ANYTHING PPL M A D E FOR ME OR GOT FOR ME WITH ME IN MIND/z??234uiorudsfhjkdfjk LITERALLY FUCKING AMAZING FDJEJGHKKJHJKH HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA like PL E A S !!!!!!! just anything l;ike that and i am MELTING 

26. what movie would you want to live in?

uummm honestly beetlejuice. its so fun you get to haunt ppl when you die and its so fun and whimsical and id probably just start crazy shit and be Chaotic

27. which character would you want to be?

is this one related to the previous question? cuz if so BEETLEJUICE DUH FJGJHK you can do all this weird ass shit and you live in a coffin HELL YEAH 

28. hugs or hand-holding?

UM im not deciding thanks both of them 

29. morning, afternoon or night?

NIGHT BABBYYYY always nighttime im a nocturnal little shit

30. what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?

you honestly cuz like i wake up to ur msgs a lot or come home from work to em like i look forward to it so much throughout the day <333 BUT also like .. listening to kurtis conner’s podcast too definitely and homemade mugs and stuff you see in shop windows and getting like eggs and bacon etc on toast at a cafe too.. definitely some things that feel like home <3 BUT also the beatles too.. listening to their music just like unlocks some deep part of my soul hjfhjkjhkG ive been missing them lately but i do nOT want to go back to the fandom atm..