#THAT SAID. I like their Weird Al Horoscope video more

[pepsinister]

zekeyspaceylizard sweep!!!

(this list is only for high energy and/or weird songs!! so if ur voting for one left off it should fit that trend :3)

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

[tinymixtapes]

Live Blog: “Weird Al” Yankovic

"Weird Al" Yankovic The Apollo Theater; New York City, NY [03-23-2018] by Frank Falisi on 05-07-2018 When I stepped out into the flashbulb facade of Harlem’s Apollo Theatre from the darkness of 125th, I had two things on my mind: Weird Al and a silver Discman. You know how some school buses had a pocket-flap on the back on the seats, so you could squash after-school stuff in there? Like chilly batter in a hot waffler, snug and transforming. It went everywhere with me; I would feel a buzz in my backpack and go to check my Discman, me paranoid, the phantom sing. My parents gave me the Discman for my 10th birthday, or maybe my 12th. This’ll show him how music’s the good good stuff, they said. Or: This’ll shut him up for a while. Maybe both ages, probably both reasons. Any hopes for new quiet were dashed because the Discman had speakers on it. There was an upside-down triangle of a button square in the center and when you slid it to the right, the Discman played through headphones, like most Discmans, but when you slid it to the left, you could listen to Greatest Hits Vol. 1 by Weird Al Yankovic as loud as you and the Discman pleased. I still didn’t know that music was the good good stuff. Some days I still struggle to know that. But at 10 or 12 or 27, Weird Al presented not just an alternative sound, but a world screwed to a degree I could comprehend, or at least laugh along with. I had no language for approaching the radical disco’d horizon of “Bad” or “Beat It,” and I knew no coil of body that could welcome Madonna’s smoke future-fuck. I knew parents who fought (never terminally, ever-casually) with each other/ for their children. I knew being taken to arcades and shopping malls by mom or dad at various times to distract us from the fighting. Sometimes we went to arcades and shopping malls when no one was fighting. We drove around neighborhoods that weren’t ours looking at how big the houses were; in certain winters we ogled the same houses’ light displays, and my dad would tap the wheel. One year, someone stole the light-up snowman from in front of our town house. How do you stand that stab of useless suburban hate without laughing? It’s time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys/ It’s time to let the bedbugs bite. Here was dancing with laughing, serious attention to pop art’s penchant for transforming us while discarding all the noxious toxicities that sometimes showed up in art. From the suburbs, Yankovic offered a weird world that was no stranger than the one I goldfish’d around in in backyards most days: Settle down, raise a family, join the PTA/ buy some sensible shoes and a Chevrolet/ and party ‘til you’re broke and they drive you away, it’s OK/ you can dare to be stupid. I had seen Weird Al play live before. It was my first experience with live music ever once, a school bus flap-space where your heart jumps up out your eyes and won’t stop. I had never been to the Apollo before. My fingers were suitably spacey-feeling as they flitted along the spackled walls. Up in the rafters, out of our grubby reach, were true sweet ghosts. The Apollo is a sharp, shiny gem that still sounds like James Brown even if you’ll have to walk past lots of Buffalo Wild Wings to get into it these days. Emo Phillips, looking and sounding like someone had stuffed an animated goose into a chest in the 80s and was just folding it back into daily life, was wrapping up 20 warbled, warped minutes as me and a whole Idaho of people took our seats. Yankovic opened the set sitting on a stool playing “Dare to Be Stupid,” not as the Devo pastiche that used to bleat out of my Discman, but as a 4/4 roadhouse blues number and we, rapping our buffalo saucy fingers into claps, said “weird.” Because since the career re-focusing Running With Scissors (bought at Barnes & Noble with my mom’s 10%-off coupon after church on Sunday) a Weird Al show was replete with every cranny of oddityness. There’s lots of costume changes for Yankovic and the band, lots of video clips surprising everyone how ingrained Yankovic is in popular culture, lots of people in the Hawaiian shirts all their fathers brought back from their honeymoons; some slime creature from outer space would be forgiven for thinking it a weekly gathering of some benign and askance religious sect. But this, billed as the Ridiculously Self-Indulgent Ill-Advised Vanity Tour, was askance yet again. Yankovic and his longtime bandmates Jon “Bermuda” Schwartz, Steve Jay, Jim West, and Rubén Valtierra promised, “None of the songs you really want to hear, all of the songs you usually skip over, obscure original tunes.” Was the band exhausted at the prospect of touring a production, disheartened at not touring at all? Was it all more deconstructive jestering? Listening to Al deadpan, Burn your candle at both ends/ punch a gift horse in the mouth/ mashed potatoes can be your friend over professionally white blues riffing brought to mind something like Dylan’s reformed live cuts, but was it participatory or commentary? Next was “Close But No Cigar,” a plastic-Cake pastiche, then “Generic Blues.” “BB King once said this was one of his top-10 favorite blues songs,” Yankovic cooed cooed, smiling. “Maybe he was joking, but I’m gonna assume he wasn’t.” Jokes and reality sit in the same seat in the weird, a name we give to what we can’t regard or disregard. Yankovic and the the band laughed into “Mr. Popeil,” a cocktail of B-52’s and late-night late-stage consumerism: I need a handy appliance/ that’ll scramble an egg while it’s still inside its shell!/ (Operators are standing by/ How does that make you feel?). I’m rocking at the top of the Apollo asking, “How does that make you feel, Mark Fisher?” “When we say something is weird, what kind of feeling are we pointing to?” Fisher motions towards his book, The Weird and the Eerie, still keenly aware of how good the band on the stage at the Apollo sounds, switching gears and modes like plastic mechanicals, rude and sharp. Something like “Nature Trail to Hell,” probably, an imagined theme to an unmade movie that doesn’t let you ignore how your favorite horrors will feel serialized to eternity, IN 3D! Something like “Craiglist,” a full-on Doors rave-up that’s a better Doors song than most Doors songs, positing that the weird sale has triumphed over the sale of the weird. Yankovic swoops between Jim Morrison and Fred Schnieder, all the while pointing out the tragic hilarity of suburb-y capitalism and Saturday-morning faux prosperity and online market madness, and the weird feels fierce, mobilized. Fisher goes on, because we’re both a little wounded by “Dog Eat Dog,” impersonatory Talking Heads that flattens Byrne’s soul-seeking zen coldness into the boil-you-alive-every-day-of-your-life corporate eternity. Fisher: “I want to argue that the weird is a particular kind of perturbation. It involves a sensation of wrongness: a weird entity or object is so strange that it makes us feel that it should not exist, or at least it should not exist here.” (Like Weird Al shows at the Apollo, maybe; like suburban dad in Buffalo Wild Wings in Harlem, perhaps.) “Yet if the object is here, then the categories which we have up until now used to make sense of our world cannot be valid. The weird thing is not wrong, after all: it is our conceptions that must be adequate.” Listening to Yankovic perform these originals (not straight parodies, they simply mimic formal elements of other artists), this wrongness is especially evident. “My Own Eyes” is Foo Fighters but pushed to the side, where it isn’t grand or cool to be a rock star, just another excuse to belt the mundane; “Your Horoscope For Today” is my favorite song ever probably, a ska dagger that seems like an astrology-takedown until you realize it’s target is both blind optimism and hopelessness. You will never find true happiness/ What you gonna do, cry about it?/ The stars predict tomorrow you’ll wake up/ Do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep. “UHF” is a song 40 dimensions before Netflix or streaming services or Spotify going public, but its compass warns against all the despondency of tech taking over: Don’t you know that we control the horizontal?/ We control the vertical, too: we gonna make a couch potato out of you. Yankovic’s plastic pastiche transforms that which we love and that which we can’t bear to confront into a new universe, listenable and wobbly, hilarious and damning. His narrators are unstable (“I Remember Larry) pig-headed optimists (“Jackson Park Express”), egomaniacal (“Young, Dumb, and Ugly”), and romantic (“You Don’t Love Me Anymore”). Yankovic’s weirdness chucks warm human hope up into systems made by people that aren’t made for people. He sketches this relationship by making us recoil from the familiar, leaning in toward an alien. Fisher, again, forever: “The form that is perhaps most appropriate to the weird is montage — the conjoining of two or more things which do not belong together.” This is not to say that weirdness should and can only be distressing. Fisher continues: “The sense of wrongness associated with the weird — the conviction that this does not belong — is often a sign that we are in the presence of the new. The weird here is a signal that the concepts and frameworks which we have previously employed are now obsolete.” There’s no more time for crying over spilled milk/ Now it’s time for crying in your beer. How to dare? How to be stupid? You switch to speakers so everyone can hear it. You play “Albuquerque,” a 12-minute odyssey through the weird and the wired, a mobilization of personal weirdness into protective hope: And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up and find yourself in an existential quandary full of loathing and self-doubt and wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence, at least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that somewhere out there in this crazy mixed-up old universe of ours there’s still a little place called Albuquerque.We laugh but what does it mean? What does it mean when Yankovic ends the regular set with a medley of all the hit parodies he said he wouldn’t play tonight, scrambled past the point of recognition, just like “Dare to Be Stupid”? Here “Eat It” is like Clapton unplugged, sapped and dragging and leading into a limp-soft jazz “Lost on Jeopardy,” a schmaltz-for-wind-chimes “Amish Paradise.” Should we recoil from the whistle-pop of “Smells Like Nirvana” — will all the sounds of our youth end decayed like this? The flamenco fart of “White and Nerdy” euthanizes toughness, while “I Love Rocky Road” sounds like we’re all just wasting our waists and place in a forever-parlor of half-off consumerism and fame-worship and misplaced e-rage. “Like a Surgeon” is a yacht-y ballad now and what? These parodies were built on the premise that they sounded familiar and used that position to suggest new realities, but now, here at the end, even that form falls away. It’s a joke and a jab; nothing is above rehearing, no perspective is sacred with plastic consciousness. If you close your eyes, the weirdness peals back the place where the thing used to be and you can see the frame of the familiar around a brilliant light leading someplace else. Then the encores, more jestering. Yankovic makes his guitar-playing debut on a deadly straight take on “Cinnamon Girl,” holding off until that famous one-note solo and then making every serious-rock-star-guitar-man face in the book. He thanks everyone again, thanks his killer band, looks up and out at the Apollo’s cavern again, and gives us “Yoda,” no jokes, just a reverend take on an irreverent classic. Does it undermine the whole evening, all the work done to undermine expectations and constrictions? It does not. We sing and dance, we think about how we didn’t know our Discmans with speakers were weird, how we didn’t know what our parents were doing but still work to love them, how we didn’t know that laughing together was always our best way towards the bright portal of better days. We, weird, walk away a little transformed and a little more open to transformation. The future’s up to you, so what you gonna do?/ Dare to be stupid. http://j.mp/2IojpJd