#THANK YOU ................................ SORRY IF THIS IS INCOMPREHENSIBLE

[otome-dissection]

Idk man I just think that mizu/ena5 and its progression was really beautiful actually. I just think that the release of the ena5 song was also really beautiful and kind of the nail in the coffin for me and I haven't been able to get the event(s) out of my head all week and that I kind of want to talk about it, actually.

It's about being hurt so deeply and continuously that any kindness that could be offered to you manages to feel like a sin, that it makes you crumble and shatter but for all the wrong reasons, not because of the newfound safety, not out of relief, but something worse and more deeply ingrained in you than kindness ever was. It's about carefully measuring the distance at which you keep others away from yourself, to ensure that it never happens again ("To save yourself the trouble", if that makes it easier).

It's about realizing that the people you've been spending all this time with are drifting closer, that they just might bump up against the unsightly parts of yourself that you've tried to keep locked away, it's about turning around and sprinting at full speed and slamming the door shut and holding onto the handle behind you to stop it from turning, because you're as frightened of the possibility of another wound being inflicted on you as you are of the possibility that kinder, gentler hands will reach out and smooth over the exposed scar. It's about hating eyes that judge and silently condemn you as much as you hate eyes that simply see you and take all of you in without scrutiny, because no matter what they're looking and they're looking at you and they know that your hand's on that door handle and they know that you're hiding something because, as much as you try to keep it shut, they've seen through the crack that you foolishly left open.

(The prominence of eyes in Bake no Hana, specifically eyes looking and searching, and finally landing on you, the viewer, Mizuki, is so fucking. Visceral in my opinion. Every character in the MV stares at the viewer in a deadpan, almost judging way. Even though Mizuki knows deep down that niigo won't really hate them, won't judge them, she just can't stand their kindness either; any gaze directed at her is a loss, another prick in their skin. It screams "don't look at me" while making sure that you know, with horrific certainty, that they're looking for you, that you're being watched. You can't go outside, can't leave your room, because they're searching for you, and while that should be reassuring, to you it's anything but).

It's about not wanting to be dissected, whether it's with hands that want to pull your organs apart or stitch them back together because no matter what they're there, and they're getting frighteningly close to your heart. It's about blinding yourself and covering your eyes to it all because seeing means exposure and exposure means they're taking something from you and you can't do anything about it, much less take it all back, much less have a say in the matter. Everyone's just taking and taking and taking and you wish you could just be alone. You wish everyone would just disappear and you could live in a world all to yourself, for only yourself (but is that really what you want?).

It's about the way that, near the beginning of the Yoka ni Mitoreta MV, Mizuki and her loneliness is represented as a dark, splotchy stain in the shadows. No colors, no patterns, no way to clean it or wash it all away, just raw ugliness marring a blank canvas. It's about the way that Ena reaches out to it anyway, the way she startles when the glass shatters just when she finally starts reaching forward, the way that the rest of the MV/song represents her searching for and reaching only further out to Mizuki, even if the broken shards of glass will only cut her fingers, potentially leaving scars.

It's about how, in every way, subtly, directly, consciously, and subconsciously, Ena shows that she fucking cares.

It's about the way that Ena lets Mizuki have autonomy, despite the situation being so horribly out of their control. And it's such a delicate thing: If she really wants to, Mizuki can take the opportunity to just run away, keep running forever, repeat the cycle over and over, and maybe she'll just destroy herself with it again, but it can't be denied that it's something important to them, something she can't quite live without just yet, their means of survival. Mizuki's autonomy is their identity, it's her tailoring her own clothes and choosing her own ribbons and styling her own hair the way she does. Ena letting them have that is as much about trust as it is about understanding that Mizuki of all people should have this right, when control was something stripped from her throughout so much of her life. She couldn't control how she was born, how people look at her or why, can't control what they think of her; lacking control has only left Mizuki vulnerable to the cruelties of others, has only caused them to suffer, which is why it's so important that it's given to them now.

She had the control to make the choice to see niigo's welcoming love and run away instead of staying, and she has the control to make the choice now whether she wants to keep things the way they are or take a step forward to be at their side again. She has every right to have it, and I think the fact that Ena realizes and respects that, even if it's subconsciously, is really beautiful (there is an entire fucking Verse about this in the new song and just. God Look at this. It's so caring, unconditional, and for fucking What. I think there is something to be said about how much Ena is willing to put aside for Mizuki, and maybe deep down it isn't healthy, but for now I'm just kind of in awe)

It's about how insanely patient Ena has been this whole time. Mizuki says that she basically lied to Ena's face about telling her their secret, even after Ena said with such conviction that she would wait for Mizuki as long as it takes, and Ena is just kept waiting and waiting and worrying like this seemingly indefinitely. It's about how Mizuki danced around it, avoided it, kept the distance, straight up ran when she was finally pushed, but Ena still chased anyway when she saw that she couldn't wait anymore, kept chasing just enough to intervene and get a straight answer out of Mizuki when she really needed to, but still leaving her enough space to leave if that was truly what she wanted. It's about how relieved Ena is the moment that Mizuki finally says outright how much they want to be with her and niigo, how much she wants to try, how much more light Ena's voice sounds when she grabs her hand, relieved, the way that the relief she feels can be felt through the music, throughout the entirety of Yoka ni Mitoreta, the way that warm colors always follow her when she chases after Mizuki, just to hold onto her and stop her from running away completely.

It's about how that careful combination of Ena's directness, Ena's persistence, Ena's warmth, her patience, her bluntness about her feelings, the way she chases and holds on but not too tight and her regard for how unsafe and exposed Mizuki feels actually works and breaks it all down. It's about how she really did reach through to Mizuki, despite the thorns and broken glass shards and nearly-unfulfilled promises, the way that Mizuki did finally let her turn the door handle and step through to see what she'd been hiding all this time, the way that Mizuki's hand, limp, when Ena first grabs onto it, shifts to hold hers back as they cry in the face of Ena's gentleness.

Despite how harsh Mizu/Ena5, and even Ena herself as a character can be (or at least was in the very beginning of pjsk), everything is somehow gentle and warm in the end, blindingly so. And you know what, I think that's beautiful. And what's even more beautiful than that is how Mizuki allows themself to crumble and shatter under that kindness, that warm light, but this time, finally, out of relief.

On a final note, I just want to say that I also appreciate how all that didn't have to solve everything. The scars haven't disappeared, haven't gone away, and Mizuki knows that their desire to run hasn't gone away forever, and maybe it never truly will. But for now they've calmed it, at least a little. She's learning to allow herself to be seen, learning that when someone's fingertips brush over their scars the way Ena's did that it's only out of care, and that maybe taking in that care and allowing herself to feel kindness and safety is okay. They're safe, for now, somehow. They're learning. They're trying. And I think that's cool :)

[mysteriousbeetle]

For the unpopular opinion meme: My enjoyment of ace!Cass headcanons depend on the user, because Cass being ace is a headcanon that makes sense given what we see in the text, but some parts of fandom make me uncomfortable with how quick they are to label every asian/autistic character ace and with Cass especially how it plays into her fanon version of sweet and kind and naive.

(No pressure to answer this if you don't want to I just saw the meme and thought of the first unpopular opinion in my head lmao)

i haven't really thought about it before but i don't really think of cass as ace. maybe i need to reread some of batgirl (2000) but it felt to me that cass took issue with being objectified but wasn't opposed to exploring her sexuality. and i find the angle of her taking issue with being objectified in that context more interesting because she's also dealt with being objectified in a different sense with how she was raised to be a human weapon. also maybe the reason she hasn't had much chemistry with guys is because she's a lesbian.

[shaadowmilkcookie]

I love ur oc

OIJSNFKDL;ALKFJNG'DKNJLHG????????????????????????????????????????? OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GOD OH MY GOD HELLOOOOO PRETTTY LITTLE BLUE PRINCE HWO I HATE. SO DEARLY. SO MUHC. right in my inbox... oh my gawd.. oHHH MY GAWD u draw him so nice it makes me MAD bc he does not DESERVE this. 5 billion nukes to his location!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[desertduality]

Hello Raven Desertduality I’m currently sitting in my car waiting for my friend to get back. In the meantime I must ask: how you feeling?

I’m feeling alright <3 I’m on vacation and haven’t been online a lot, which is nice but I’m missing my freedom to watch a ton of wild life episodes, I’ve only seen Scar’s so far but I want to sit down and watch Grian’s in a minute :3

As far as the stuff going on with the hermitcraft community, I’m doing okay there, too. I don’t want to talk about it too much bc I don’t have anything new or important to say, but I think it’s being handled in the best way it can be; it’s one of the more dignified and professional responses I’ve seen. Things like this usually set off my anxiety but I’m actually pretty calm right now. That being said I am sending hugs and comfort to everyone who needs it <3

[infinitegeli]

oh hey im also gonna steal this from my tacomic rant…do u think taco considered what mic wanted in episode 14? she didnt make the promise bc she KNEW she couldnt keep it if something went wrong. and when microphone is getting all the love and praise, taco is cocky bc her FORST MEETING WAS READING MIC’s diary abt her insecurities on never being listened to or appreciated, OFC TACO WOULD THINK THIS IS WHAT MIC WANTED!! AGHHH

Ok hold onlet me.

THIS IS A REALLY REALLY INTERESITN PERSPECITVE THIS IS REALLY FUNJY TO ME TOO Taco being like fully sincere when she was bragging to mic after she straight murdered test tube LIKE YESSS SHE GETS IT NOW. LIKE OK TO BEHONEST I think taco probably knew. (in and out no violence (mic line) )that she was breakinf mics trust with it but it’s really funny to think she thought mic got over it cuz she was getting attention. Liek seeee a little murder never hurt no one ;D this is great right?? LIKE GOD THATS REALLY REALLY FUNNY…

I guess when the question is did she consider what mic would want it gets really interesting wth this perspective .. like she thinks she knows something mic wouldn’t like she thinks she knows a way to microphones affinity through her methods (violence) in a way microphone wouldn’t dare to consider . like a ‘let me do this and you’ll see how great it is afterwards’ thing. That’s great. but I think I look at it thorug a lens of disconnect from the writing cuz whenever I get too analytical I always think No AE definitely did not think this far. BUR ITS REALLY FHN.. IM HAPOY YOU SHAREDTHIS WITH ME.. I like taco when she’s being sincere in her own weird little ways. It’s the best kind of taco…

[tricos-here]

For the mount asks: Asterales, Jessamy, and Alexandrine 💖

@mystery-salad

thank you for the ask <33

1. Does your character canonically have specific mounts?

Astêrales technically has a jackal but it is. largely redundant because she moves around via portals all the time anyway, and the jackal itself comes and goes as it pleases, but they do occasionally travel together and keep each other company 

Jessamy canonically has a griffon named Doirean, it was given to her temporarily during her company’s contract in Thunderhead Keep, but they instantly took a liking to each other and upon her return to Tyria she decided to purchase and keep her 

Alexandrine has a warclaw named Aife, though it’s not so much a warclaw in the sense of “spiritual animal bound to armor” as just a creature bound to the Mists

2. Do you have any canon mount skins / coloration for them?

Astêrales’ jackal is just Shadow Abyss and Tar on the Ceylon Cut Skin, which kinda of creates this starry look in its faceplate (?), if I were to draw might might've also thrown in some aspects of Lucent Sands too

Jessamy canonically is supposed to be using the Point-Tipped Corvus skin but I only have the Northern Feather Wing skin whose only real difference is it has a more angular beak, but either way it’s all black like well, a corvid 

Alexandrine’s warclaw is the Vigilant Saberclaw in all white, may or may not have a longer tail like the Tundra Grimalkin but I’m undecided about that still 🏃‍♀️ 

3. How likely are they to rent one versus own one?

Astêrales would do neither because she can spawn in portals at will babeey. But if she were to lose that ability for some reason cough she’d likely talk her way through borrowing one, ain’t got no money to rent anyway 

Jessamy technically owns hundreds of mounts under her company’s name so, if we want to get into schematics she she's more likely own one, besides her personal griffon anyway, but if she were in a position where she didn't have access to them then she has plenty of money to throw at some renting agency

Alexandrine definitely more likely to own one, partially because where would she rent a mount in the Mists anyway, but also she does enjoy the companionship as well

4. Are there any mounts they prefer using (or others they can't stand)?

Astêrales has only ever used a jackal and a skyscale, and if she were to choose between the two it would definitely be the jackal, she has no issue with heights or anything but skyscales to her feel comparatively sluggish and unresponsive 

Jessamy can appreciate that each mount has its own uses and pros and cons but she’d generally go for a griffon or if the area asks for it, a raptor, but generally she thinks a skilled rider can get just about anywhere with a griffon anyway. Also finds springers ridiculous and you’ll never catch her on one amen 

Alexandrine’s only experience with mounts is a warclaw so, N/A

5. Do they keep their mounts stabled, take them with them, or some secret 3rd thing?

Astêrales’ secret 3rd thing is that her jackal as mentioned just comes and goes as it pleases, using portals and traversing through the Mists as much as her 

Jessamy will take her griffon with her on travels and the like but keep her stabled at stops, there’s been few occasions where she might bring her inside as some kinda power move but generally yeah, keeps her stabled 

Alexandrine takes her warclaw everywhere, rarely ever leaves her side and yes that included the bed too, something her partner might not approve but it's her castle and she makes the rules (is what she thinks)

[sunset-bridge]

real conversation

[someguyinc]

hello i saw you in the notes talking about arthur and morgana's relationship and i would love to hear you talk more please. i am unhinged about them.

(no pressure tho if you don't feel like it)

this is literally the best thing someone could say to me after a 16 hr flight 😭 bless u anon

also me too. so i'm just gonna ramble ab my headcannons and then also their canon relationship below the cut bc it is so interesting to me and i really have a lot to say and i really mean. A LOT.

so let's start off with season 1/pre-canon and the source of all their problems: uther pendragon. uther pendragon is fucking insane and possibly one of the worst parents ever,,, like def top 10 worst fathers i think

pre-season 1 time line as I see it:

- he marries ygraine from the house of du bois after becoming king,, probably like 3-7 years after,, he claimed he loved her (heavily debatable!!) and she seemed to as well so they assumedly married for love

- now uther has a best friend at the time: Gorlois (now if this is his name-name or surname i'm not sure so i'm just going to go say surname since they're nobility) This man is known by Uther had the bravest man he's ever met,, and his wife the Lady Vivienne probably lost him in battle bc later in season 3,, Uther says a much and says Lady Vivienne was: "lonely so he consoled her"...

- now, this is where my headcannon comes in,, I'm pretty damn sure morgana is older than arthur,, meaning that I'm pretty sure that Uther cheated on ygraine out of that shared grief and around this time ygraine probably was showing growing signs of being barren/unable to become pregnant which probably worried the court ngl

- so morgana conception happens,, vivienne goes away,, gorlois thinks she's his,, during this time uther finally gives in and sacrifices ygraine's life for arthur's and ultimately blames it on arthur/all of magic (remember the talk w uther and nimueh when he says: i wish he'd [arthur] never been born bc it meant losing ygraine essentially like,,,. ok. wow.)

- now season 1: there is so much evidence uther is an abusive shit:

- he throws both of his children in jail whenever they toe the line in a way he doesn't find amusing (ie: s1e4 and s1e12)

- arthur straight up says (he's about 20/21 atp): i never knew you were proud of me,, in fact i always thought i was a disapointment (meaning: uther never went out of his way to show him otherwise for a solid 20-21 years.)

and uther doesn't actually say he's proud of him he just goes: i wouldn't wish for another son (after drugging him so he wouldn't duel being a hypocritical king)

so all of this: leads back to morgana and arthur's relationship

morgana and arthur in season 1 have a somewhat tentative relationship,, we can see that most of the kingdom thinks the two of them are going to marry one another (including themselves at times) ie: gwen saying morgana would make a great queen one day,, but they also bicker all the damn time

snipes here and there,, but ultimately it usually comes down to their differences in how they reacted to their upbringing from uther:

arthur became the dutiful/exceptional son: he became a knight at 20 (usually took knights till mid twenties-early thirties), later we learn he led druid raids pre-canon (this traumatized him also again fuck uther) this would also be exceptional seeing as he probably wasn't a fully fledged knight even then, and is known throughout Camelot (and most of Albion tbh) as a master swordsman,, and while he did have his own thoughts on magic he often bit his tounge in front of his father in order to prove himself,, we also know that unlike morgana: he learned exactly how to navigate around uther so he could do what he wanted against uther's will while not embarrassing in front of the court (ie: when he went to go save gwen after saying to his father and the court that it was probably a lost cause)

morgana was the people's princess,, but she def got the "i am my father's daughter" syndrome BADDDDD: we see in s1 she's often stood up to Uther in front of the court numerous times, so much so that when she gets thrown into prison (s1e12) it's not the first time,, arthur tells her: "i promised him that this would be the last time you acted out against him like this" (paraphrasing) and morgana replies "you're a good man, unlike your father" (line that makes me insane)

they are parallel from the start within these two episodes specifically!!! many may argue morgana was good and kind from the beginning,, but she often did things FOR HER OWN MOTIVES!!! when she helped gwen's father to escape without consulting gwen,, it confirmed it for me. she may have convinced herself it was for gwen,, but she never even asked,, she did it to piss of uther not thinking it all the way through,, opening his cell and leaving him to fend for himself against a bataillon of knights. now i'm not saying morgana has never done anything out of pure kindness,,

but whereas arthur is constantly set up as a righteous and noble man in his heart but his actions can appear to be... for lack of a better word, extremely dickish

morgana's actions appear to be kind and generous, but can often endanger those around her in her conquest for the things she wants, sometimes ending in death. (AGAIN NOT ALWAYS!!!)

NOW this leads me to the fact that once again they were the only two who grew up under Uther really and are the only ones who know what that's like,, they probably already felt more like brother and sister by the time s1 hit just bc of that but endured it bc they weren't blood and swallows the fact they were probably gonna be married but you can see it in the scenes alone,,

morgana does push arthur to be better and to challenge the things uther taught them bc that is what she instinctively does!! morgana questions uther and in return teacher arthur to question uther (ie: pushing arthur to save merlin in s1e4, helps him to strike down valiant s1e2, makes him argue back when gwen was wrongfully imprisoned s1e3) and we see that morgana does care for arthur!! she threatens sophia when she noticed something is off and often rushes to the defense of her friends,, her tactics can be destructive though just in a parallel way to arthur's

arthur's destructiveness comes from his inability to choose a side, or based his assumptions on prejudices something that becomes even more apparent when morgana turns away from Camelot and it's people

morgana was probably rooting for arthur as a king for a certain point,, but even though the grew up together and she should know arthur's MO is usually 'just say yes in front of dad and do whatever the fuck is just later' morgana doesn't trust him. and as her powers grow this also becomes more apparent and her support wanes until she believes someone else should be on the throne,,,

and when she learns that uther is her father??? that's when she flies off the deep end.

now for me morgana being older than arthur is one of the only reasons why she would have a valid claim to the throne!! we see that mithian as the only girl succeeded her father as QUEEN not just princess meaning the laws of succession COULD include women it just depended on the region,,

now imagine being morgana:

you grow up at home with your father, he is kind, brave, and gentle, and a fearsome warrior, he is the kings best friend. he dies and you move in probably around the age of 8 and you see this 6 year old boy. you later learn the kingdom expects the two of you to marry. you're still grieving but you know what this means. you take the etiquette lessons, you learn to wield the sword, you become proficient in horseback riding, you gain the education fitting of a queen. you are 15, the prince is 13, he is already one of the most promising squires. it's alright though you're learning to love him, not as a romance though (not anymore at least, he tried to flick his booger at you once at the age of 8, the flame was staunchly out out.) you two appreciate one another, you get older, it is improper for the two of you to be alone together, you witness your first execution. he's being killed for the crime of sorcery (he saved a little girl from a burning building), you don't understand. you meet your maidservant, she is one of the most lovely people to grace the earth. you love her, as a friend. you grow older, you're still expected to marry the prince (he is 18), he has killed many. he has watched even more die. he is different, you are different. you watch another man die for the crime of sorcery, you don't understand. two years pass, you're tormented by dreams you cannot comprehend but always seem to come true, a serving boy arrives, he changes the prince again. you watch another man die. you don't understand, but you hold your tounge now until later. the king's temper is short. years past and the sleeping draughts aren't working, your dreams are getting worse. your maidservant is in love with the prince. you're jealous, you don't understand. you think you have magic, you see the prince become his father. you don't understand, you just want someone to tell you it'll be alright. after years of anger and bitterness you finally understand, you hate the king and all he's done, the world would be better if he were gone, arthur would be better if he were gone. arthur loves him anyways and it kills you. you meet a woman who claims to be your sister, both of blood and in magic. you take her hand, she promises to teach you all there is to be taught. your anger for the king festers. the prince you once loved turns out to be your brother. the king you hate turns out to be your father. you beg him to recognize you, and give you the family name you were stripped of. he doesn't. you kill him. you kill s lot of people. you don't care if they're innocent or not anymore. you connive, and you plot, and you scheme. you try to kill the prince, who is now king. your sister dies. you miss your best friend, the handmaiden who is now queen. she says she hates you. you hate arthur. you die trying to make him as miserable as you.

now arthur:

one day your father brings a girl home, everyone is telling you that they you expect to marry. father doesnt say anything. you think she's pretty, you accidentally flick your booger at her and she looks at you like you've wiped horseshit on her dress. you watch a man die for the crime of magic. you don't understand, you will soon. your father looks at you like there is someone he can't stand to see. he cherishes this girl he's brought home. you work harder than any squire seen before. you get promoted early, everyone says it is just because of the king, you beat them in everything so they can't secondaries you ever again. you watch more sorcerers die, your father says it is because they killed your mother, you secretly feel like a bad person because you don't understand why all sorcerers deserve to die for the crime of one death. even if it is your mother. you twist her ring. your father's ward is beautiful, you try to impress her, she's too busy hanging out with her maidservant. you get older and complete your first druid camp raid, you don't understand, so many of them are women and children, so many of them die anyways. you change. you grow older, you become the youngest knight in camelot, you think it will turn your father's ward's attention to you, she's infatuated with owain, the oaf. you get older, and you meet the most insufferable boy with the most outrageous ears and the most obvious lies. he changes you. morgana becomes more distant. you learn that your mother's life was given for yours, you try to kill your father. the manservant you trust most in the world says that sorcerers lie, you finally understand. you hate sorcery and despise any practitioners of magic from now on. you grow older, you begin to fall in love with your sister's manservant, you understand her infatuation. you grow as a prince, and person, you gain alliances in unlikely places, you don't think you'll marry morgana anymore. you learn your father's ward is your sister, you watch as she usurps the throne. you don't understand. you fight back. you become king. you marry the love of your life. she betrays you with a close friend. you become lost. you forgive her, you trust again. you are fighting your sister. always. you don't even recognize her anymore, you wonder if you ever did. you later learn that magic was never evil, on your deathbed, and that your soulmate had it the whole time. you wonder about your sister. she tries to kill you again. she dies in your best friend's arms and all you can think is how she finally looks peaceful for the first time in forever. you die the same way not too long after.

anyways: morgana and arthur parallel each other so hard it's crazy,,, and the pendragons are a family of self-fulfilling prophecies

like that is your sister/brother and you love them and you hate them and nobody else couldn't possibly get it and they hate you but you will always love them and you are home but you can never go home and -!

[asthedeathoflight]

Get bothered back fellow theater nerd:

Any favorite musicals/plays to recommend? Are there ones you think are like “easy starters” vs ones you think will tell people something important about your taste?

Okay so the problem with me is that I am not strictly speaking a "theater nerd" as in like someone who is a fan of theater. I am someone who works in professional theater for a living. I have opinions about theater even my fellow theater artists cant get behind. This is all to say i dont have any concept of what an easy starter play would be. I'm in too deep. Im the XKCD comic about geochemists. Fuckin... Hamlet? Hamlet is good. You've gotta find a Hamlet where Hamlet is like a foppish emo kid tho. Dont watch the branagh one. I dont have a good Hamlet to recommend I just read Hamlet and imagine it in my mind.

Also I must confess that I dont really like musicals. Which will sound like peak clownery coming from me with a musical pfp but compared to most theater people i am the Grinch of musicals. I just dont like musical music. Sorry Wicked, sorry Les Mis, sorry Into The Woods. Simply could never be me.

Having said that. Musicals which are good (complete list):

Spring Awakening (ONLY the Deaf West production. I have the bootleg you can dm me for it. The obc was. Bad. sorry.)

Come From Away (i am not immune to folk rock or narratives about the inherent goodness of humanity. Full disclosure I haven't gotten around to watching this one i just like listening to the soundtrack.)

Warriors (obviously)

Plays which are good (incomplete list):

Until The Flood, Dael Orlandersmith (series of monologues about the police shooting of Mike Brown in Ferguson)

Notes on Killing Seven Oversight, Management and Economic Stability Board Members, Mara Velez Melendez (drag show about Puerto Rican anti-colonial resistance)

Draw the Circle, Mashuq Mushtaq Deen (one-man show about trans identity)

Keffiyeh/Made in China, Dalia Taha (series of vignettes about life in occupied Palestine)

Other stuff:

I saw the Geffen's production of The Inheritance two years ago and it was so incredible i went back and saw the whole thing again. There is an audiobook of it on Audible but ymmv because they made the baffling decision not to include any stage directions? So it might be incomprehensible unless you can find a script to read along with it. I might try and track down a pdf of the script for my own records so if i find one I'll share it with you.

Also I know Sara Porkalob's show at the Geffen just closed but if you ever have a chance to see her absolutely take it, she has this cycle of one-woman plays about the women in her family which are like. Absurd and heartfelt and incredible.

[thatlittledandere]

PLEASE talk about xoxo droplets omg. im no thoughts head empty rn but tbh just i wanna hear every opinion you have about it,, i love when people share my Extremely Unknown Special Interest

Every time I think about how to explain the main characters to someone unfamiliar with them I can get through Everett and Shiloh just fine, normal short synopses, but THEN. NATE LAWSON. TRAPS ME FOR HOURS. Nate isn't even my favorite but I'm obsessed with him oh my god. This is gonna have spoilers for his route btw hold on

Like. I met him, and thought, in a true JB fashion, hot damn. He, he's easily the most attractive of the bunch to me shrsvhddh (Everett has so many qualities I love on paper but in practice. It's Nate he's the most handsome) Then I started to observe why he's in the Unfriendable Group and deducted that he's got a stick the size of a log up his ass. Simple enough. But WAIT THERE'S MORE

I started his route PURELY because he was hot shhddvhgd even though I disliked him hard after my first playthrough. (Shiloh. I didn't believe the warnings. F in the chat bois.) He's not JUST a stickler to the rules nooooooo he's a PERFECTIONIST. And a SUPERHUMAN. But HE doesn't see it like that nooooo he thinks he's just the only one who puts in any effort at all. People keep telling him his standards are unreachable but ~obviously~ they're not. If he can do it, so can everyone else! They're just not trying hard enough! And he doesn't try to be perfect, no, that's impossible. He just wants to be the best he can!

But it's never enough. There's always room for improvement, after all. Nate could get a perfect score on a test and still be dissatisfied, because he could have elaborated on that point in his essay more, or his handwriting got too close to the marginalia on one line and that is unprofessional, or he thought on that one multi-choice question longer than he should have if he studied adequately, etc, etc.

And because of this he's constantly stressed the FUCK out. He volunteers when something needs to be done, he helps out teachers, he takes it upon himself to make sure everyone else is ALSO acting properly, he puts at LEAST 100% into EVERYTHING he does, and there's always more to do. He has a part-time job at a warehouse as well and while the physical labor can offer a bit of a break for his brain, you can bet your ASS he doesn't stop for ONE second or stay on his break a MINUTE too long. How the hell does he live like this?

Well. What other choice is there? Things need to be done. They need to be done well. And obviously Nate knows the importance of rest to your health and performance, so he certainly eats and sleeps properly, but see these things are also scheduled and measured and optimized for maximum efficiency. But does he get REST, for REAL? Does he RELAX?

Yes, because he's best friends and roomies (the room is spotless At All Times) with Everett "2kool4skool" Gray (who would shoot me point blank for saying something so uncool about him). I Could write another essay on their dynamic but let's just say they balance each other out. Nate gives Everett direction, Everett gives Nate respite. Phew.

But I'm not done. MORE MORE MORE. Because I started talking about my personal relationship to Nate but got sidetracked by character analysis dghfsfh THE THING IS I disliked him heavily even some time after starting his route, and all the characters absolutely SHINE on their dates. But then. The unthinkable happened.

The class trip.

Now of course I already knew Nate was extremely high strung all of the time, but until that point I'd seen it either as an annoyance or a joke. But the class trip was, like, a disaster to Nate. He's spending more time with the group outside strictly defined areas and activities and therefore feels responsibility over their behavior. Obviously a new environment with new activities gives everyone more opportunities to act up. They have a schedule, but it's not in Nate's control, and he can't help seeing himself as like a vice advisor, and nothing goes exactly as planned or at ALL as planned, and everyone's doing it on PURPOSE his life is already hell and they're doing it to SPITE him or maybe they're just completely unfit to the title of human being that's been forced on these demons, and this is STILL SCHOOL they're still bound by school rules and they should LEARN things here and GET SOMETHING OUT OF IT for HEAVENS sake,

So it's no wonder he breaks down. And it was, it was fucking terrible. Nate's stress and anxiety present as anger most of the time, I didn't... I didn't see him as the type who would cry. Kind of figured Nate was one of those boys who didn't remember the last time they cried but guessed it was somewhere around fourth grade? Heartless of me. I really thought he was like. Pardon the expression. Above such vulnerability.

Of course he's not. He's a person, and a highly sensitive one at that. I guess I hadn't noticed it over what a hardass he is;;; And y'all I felt SO bad. And so awkward. Like. What the fuck do you do in that situation? This wasn't supposed to happen. It felt like we were breaking the script somehow. Like. "I'm not supposed to see this. Why am I seeing this? Do I need to? Fucking christ. Is this allowed? When can I leave. Uh. There there? Can't even pat him on the shoulder. Jesus just kill me"

And that scene changed everything. Nate cried in front of the MC and I could never see him in the same light again. I used to think he was kinda just a tough yet guarded guy and a demanding ass but oh wow he's actually just like. This dude has anxiety. This dude has problems. He's burning out at light speed and has been for the past what? Eight years?? Get him HELP.

And I HAVEN'T EVEN TOUCHED ON HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS PARENTS YET. So they're the type who saw having children as just a step that responsible adults take at some point in their lives, and they were not prepared. And Nate was a difficult child too. Not on purpose, obviously, babies don't do anything on purpose, but he was particularity emotional even as a baby. He's just Like That. So his parents ehm eeeurgh tolerated him for a few years. Just kind of. Pushed through it. And then decided to give up and send him to a boarding school. Like they basically abandoned him there because they couldn't handle him.

And Nate is on hard denial about this. He tells himself it was the reasonable choice and the best for everyone, and he's not wrong, but he's also not ready to face the fact that uh. His parents very much just are not good at parenting and they don't actually know each other at all. "I respect them and they respect me" is how he puts it, and again it's not wrong but also christ he was not truly loved as a child and still isn't. Mommy and daddy hear that his grades are top of the class and he's very mature and responsible and respected by staff and students alike, and they're proud of him, but they do NOT know who he is as a person or how fucking terrible he's actually doing.

Not that Nate admits any of that himself. I can see how it would be difficult to face when you're already juggling fifty glass balls on a glass platter while riding a unicycle on hard stone floor.

Why is NATE is the one I give a private Ted Talk on regularly when none of the jerks are doing much better. He's just for fucks sake he, he's doing so bad. So bad. Maybe it's the incredibly harsh wakeup call I got? I cannot overstate how impactful that one scene was. HE CRIED. HE CRIED IN FRONT OF ANOTHER PERSON? HE BROKE DOWN?? NATE LAWSON HAS WEAKNESSES??? LIKE HE WASN'T JUST DOING ALL THAT FOR THE SAKE OF OBLIGATION OR TO LOOK GOOD ON A RESUME? HE'S REALLY THAT CRUSHED? I wasn't supposed to be there. I know it's a scripted event but I wasn't supposed to see that it feels not allowed. Are you still there? Thank you for reading go to sleep

[sipsoftea]

I hate it here

[compacflt]

hey! seeing your post about iceman and hamilton reminded me of the 1812 au that you had posted about previously - do you mind sharing any of your thoughts on that, specifically Ice & Mav's reactions to the politics of war back then, before the US military and Navy were such huge institutions (in today's standards)? EDTS Ice & Mav are decidedly anti-war (more Ice than Mav I think), but would that same sentiment be true for them back then & how would Ice feel about war hawks like Calhoun & Clay? there's obviously a pretty big role that war plays in forming national identity, especially in early US history, and with external forces like impressment & embargoes & all of the international relations nightmares that came w/ early state building, I'm really interested in how that may have an impact on how Ice and Mav view military service and duty. I would love to read this fic if you're still planning on writing it (really I love to read everything that you write tbh) - also hope you are doing well!! 😊😊

hiya!! i hope you are also doing well!! I am not sure if im ever going to post the 1812 au to be honest—i would really love to but i think it would be so long it would have to be my first priority for a few months, and I’m not sure when I’d have time to do that. but i have it all planned out at least, so maybe we can compare notes.

So here are my notes.

IF i were to complete my 1812 AU… It would not be about Ice at all. Which is how I’d be able to stomach writing about Ice’s death. AND the characters would be very very different from the characters i wrote about in EDTS (i.e. confessed their love for each other way back in the 1770s). And what I want to tackle in this AU is exactly what your ask is about—duty to your fledgling country! Im interested in a version of TGM maverick who had to be away from the love of his life, on his deathbed, to serve the national interests of his country. *questionable* national interests, in TGM’s case, or *forgettable* national interests in the War of 1812’s case. The War of 1812 is sort of America’s forgotten war—its causes were nebulous & hard to rally around/understand today, and there were no real heroes until the end, unless if you count Andrew Jackson as a hero (i really try not to). So this would be a direct attack on the heroism we are presented with in TGM: what is mavericks mission really accomplishing in the grand scheme of things? Using the 1812 war, itself forgotten and largely irrelevant, as a meta backdrop for that question of heroism.

So—this version of Ice & Mav are: actual factual war heroes. Revolutionary war heroes who were genuinely educated & truly believed in the American experiment of representation & freedom from tyranny. Fighting the British 36 years apart. (Something i really really like & will take advantage of… the 36 years between 1776 and 1812 exactly equaling the 36 years between 1986 and 2022… it was meant to be.) They’ve spent their whole lives together in the romantic sense, in a world where they couldn’t live openly together but at a time when sexuality was also understood completely differently. But they have to be apart when Ice is dying because Maverick has been handed a mission, a duty, by the USG that he has to take care of. (Part of the reason I’m stalling on this project is because I don’t really know what that mission would be… something something naval warfare, something something Captain of the “USS Dagger…” but im a better romance writer than an action writer… idk how to come up with those plots at all. And I’m not super well-versed in EARLY naval warfare [I prefer wwii navy stuff] so idk how ships like sailed clippers & schooners etc actually work. That’s a completely different wheelhouse for me & is integral to a story like this, and fundamentally im kind of a lazy person who doesn’t put a lot of effort into research if I don’t have to)

the AU would be written in two parts—the warm summer of youth vs cold winter of old age. Confronting my own fear as an author of getting old & dying, tbh. What does it mean to be a hero and die of old age? Shouldn’t you want to die WHILE being a hero? Part one: 1776-1782 is… ice & maverick falling in love and dealing with goose’s death together and cementing their hero status in American naval history (like they do in the original top gun). Then part 2; 1812/1813… ice is retired from being the first USN commodore/secretary, but he’s dying and maverick has to choose between being with his de facto husband in his last days VERSUS being out at sea, serving his country, but for a war that he (a bit metaphysically, to serve my metaphorical aims) knows will be forgotten. He can be a hero or he can be there for the love of his life but he can’t do both. Duty & sacrifice. Ice persuades him it’s time to let go, maverick goes out to sea, and then ice dies while he’s at sea. & the 1812 war was kind of forgotten, and their love will never be known by history because they were two men, so what was that sacrifice really for? Shouldn’t he have been home with ice?

Which leads me to: I am also slightly interested in an interpretation of the TGM mission as a possible su*cide attempt on mav’s part, post-ice’s death. Trying to die a hero. So, there’s that. That would be in it as well.

Some issues: that’s pretty simple & i submitted a 4k short story with this exact premise (1776 war hero has to choose between one last shot at heroism in 1812 vs staying with his male lover at the end of his life) to one of my writing workshops last semester and they loved it. But, by god, does it get 10x more complicated once you add Bradley to the mix. It’s ALWAYS made it more complicated & it’s why I’ve had so much pain trying to edit EDTS over the last 8 months (as you know). Because LETS PLEASE BE REAL TGM did NOT give me much to go on there. Like the emotional turn that is I think SUPPOSED to happen in the scene where ice and mav talk in TGM—I don’t understand it & I think that scene was only written for fanservice because it serves no purpose in the story and I’m not sure what emotion we’re supposed to take away from it. Maverick says “please send me ice, don’t ask me to send someone else to die,” (is he asking ice’s permission??) and ice DOESNT actually answer that request, doesn’t even acknowledge it; he says, in a COMPLETE AND UTTER NON SEQUITUR, “It’s time to let go.” Maverick says, “yeah I know,” so what does that actually mean? Who is he letting go??? Bradley??? Goose??? ice himself??? Is ice giving mav permission to go or not???? It’s so vague it means absolutely nothing, and i have no idea what ice’s emotional/story purpose in TGM is except to bail mav out of sticky situations and nostalgia purposes, and don’t even get me STARTED on how out-of-character it was for MAVERICK (guy who hates having his papers pulled from the Academy) to pull Bradley’s papers from the Academy in TGM, both of which are why ive struggled so much trying to fit Ice into the mav/Bradley narrative of betrayal & loss etc. And in a two-shot piece where all those years in between are kind of skipped over… idk. I feel like I would sort of have to sacrifice the Bradley storyline for the overarching icemav duty-sacrifice-heroism theme. With WWGATTAI, i was KIND of able to do both, but only after MULTIPLE rounds of very very intense editing & like 50k words of rewrites and even then it’s kind of awkward so… idk. For a quick two-shot like this I’d have to pick. I don’t have the energy to write another 50-100k reinterpreting that story all over again lol

So to answer your question it would be way less about the actual weird politics of the 1812 war and more about providing a place for me to get into mav’s emotions dealing with ice’s death and the historical implications of a mission like that, kind of glossed over in the movie … though this ice & mav are veterans of the XYZ affair / battles with the Tripoli pirates, so that probably affects how they see things… but mostly, duty is still duty & orders are still orders, but sometimes following orders means sacrificing what little time left you have with your family… following the TGM timeline where ice only has about 2 weeks left to live from Mach 9.

So, pros of the 1812 au: lots of the purple prose poetic writing i shamefully really like. Icemav open and honest with each other from the very start ❤️. Dealing with the themes and emotional consequences of ice’s death finally. Focusing only on mav instead of only on ice. Penny & sarah in a lesbian relationship. Some discussion of the cyclical nature of queer history (i.e. we’ve always been here making history and we always will be). Mav finding reasons to live after ice is gone.

Cons of the 1812 au and why I’m hesitant to really get invested in writing it: don’t know much about pre-diesel naval warfare so can’t come up with the technical action elements of the plot & too lazy to do that much research. I have a sailing license, so I know like… knots and rigging and mainsail vs jib/genoa/spinnaker and sloop vs schooner etc, but i do NOT know anything about THAT kind of sailing. Warship sailing, tactics, “dogfighting” equivalents, etc. Also: would probably have to sacrifice the whole “getting Bradley kicked out of the academy-equivalent” storyline, just to make the story less complicated. Not sure how much of the original ice and maverick the story would retain as a result. Also: i know wayyy more about the early national period (1776-1800) than anything after about 1808, but even then the last time i was really into this period of history was my freshman year of high school, so i can’t necessarily claim to know what im talking about when it comes to the intricacies of the early American state (as i think is pretty obvious here). Also too lazy to do that much research.

But, here are some notes/snippets etc if you would like. they’re solidly 6 months old now & unedited & largely unresearched, just throwing words on the wall in writing phase one, but whatever

[pushing500]

Sorry if this has been asked before, or if you've already shown it, but could you share your mod list?

I sure can! However, due to my technological ineptness and inability to figure out how to export a proper fancy crisp mod list, this list has been hand-typed with my own brief and probably unhelpful descriptions of what each mod does (if I can remember or comprehend it, that is).

There are about 180 mods, give or take, so it's a long list. I'll pop it under here for anybody who wants to check them out:

This is in the current load order

Harmony (a framework one I think)

Vanilla Backgrounds Expanded (this is just cool for loading screens etc.)

HugsLib (I think this is also framework one)

JecsTools (I think this is also framework one)

Vanilla Expanded Framework (I'm near-certain this is a framework one, based on the name)

A Dog Said… Animal Prosthetics (animal bionics wooo)

LBE’s A Dog Said Easy Patcher (to add bionic compatibility with all the modded animals woooo)

Better ModMismatch Window (for if I do ever feel the need to mess with the modlist)

RT Fuse (I don’t like the zzzzt events)

[GMT] Trading Spot (to stop stupid traders walking in my house)

[NL] Facial Animation - WIP (they make funny faces :3) 

Let’s Have a Cat! (I like cats)

Humanoid Alien Races (Aliens are cool)

Tree People (Continued) (because non-human colonists are awesome)

[ATW] House Decor (for aesthetic purposes)

Little Green Men - Legacy (Aliens are cool)

Vanilla Backstories Expanded (adds new and fun backstories for colonists)

Vanilla Animals Expanded (I insist on having a huge selection of pets)

Vanilla Animals Expanded - Royal Animals (more pets heehee)

More Persona Traits (this is why Xanxalbur the persona zeushammer is so cool)

Vanilla Ideology Expanded - Dryads (more gauranlen tree stuff)

Vanilla Base Generation Expanded (makes enemy bases on caravan trips more fun)

Vanilla Achievements Expanded (sometimes it gives me a serotonin)

Vanilla Races Expanded - Custom Icons (good for xenotypes and biotech stuff)

Dubs Bad Hygiene (bathrooms cool)

Hospitality (easy to make friends with other factions if you run a hotel)

Android Tiers Reforged (heehoo robots cool)

[AP] Lovin’ Reworked (Irwin and Connie are both AWFUL in bed, if you were curious 😳)

Vanilla Races Expanded - Phytokin (magic tree people very fun)

Vanilla Races Expanded - Saurid (dinosaur people wooooo!)

Vanilla Fishing Expanded (a good way to keep Wookshys distracted)

ReGrowth: Core (I don’t remember what this does but the thumbnail is cool and I assume it’s a framework mod)

Vanilla Plants Expanded (more farm stuff hooray!)

Vanilla Textures Expanded - [NL] Facial Animation (why my colonists have such cute lil’ faces)

Vanilla Plants Expanded - More Plants (even MORE farm stuff!!)

Vanilla Persona Weapons Expanded (more skins for persona weapons- another reason Xanxalbur the persona zeushammer is so awesome)

Vanilla Nutrient Paste Expanded (mmmmm yummy goo)

More Descriptive Words and Names (adds more descriptive words and names)

Ebbbs (horrible eldritch goo creatures my beloved)

Floordrawings (adds more floordrawings for kids to draw)

Horse Breeds - Skin Variations (horses very fun!!)

Vanilla Hair Retextured (helps vanilla hair look a bit nicer)

Trait and Backstory Icons (gives traits and backstories cute lil’ icons next to ‘em)

Geological Landforms (cool new map gens)

Biome Transitions (if your map tile is next to a different biome they can mix together at the edges)

Cactacae (Continued) (because non-human colonists are awesome)

NamesGalore (adds new names for people and stuff)

NamesGaloreLatin (adds new names for people and stuff but in Latin this time) 

Character Editor (I wanted to start with at least one animakin colonist)

Vanilla Animals Expanded - Caves (I have a pet cave bear now called Witch)

Strong Bridge (makes bridges strong)

Roo’s Dreadlock Hairstyles (Irwin’s hair is from this one)

[SBV] Recreational Drum Use (I like drums and so would my colonists if they had them)

River’s Tribal Shoes (don’t want to get prickles in your feet)

Romance on The Rim (they have to get their daily smooches or they’ll be sad)

Pawn Name Variety (I like them to have lots of different name options)

Vanilla Furniture Expanded - Architect (adds new building stuff)

Camera+ (for taking better screenshots)

Vanilla Cooking Expanded (expands the cooking)

Vanilla Psycasts Expanded (expands the psycasts)

Biomes! Core (the framework for more biomes mods)

Biomes! Islands (in case I wanted to reenact the movie Castaway)

Alpha Animals (even more pets!)

Vanilla Ideology Expanded - Memes and Structures (lots of cool ideology stuff)

Simple Sidearms (every colonist needs MANY WEAPONS)

Doors Expanded (adds new doors)

A Rimworld of Magic (I don’t use this heaps in the current game but it is very cool)

Anima Gear (I could make stuff out of anima grass if I felt like doing the research for it)

Sexuality Traits (every pawn has a specific sexuality, instead of defaulting to 'straight' unless explicitly stated otherwise)

Vanilla Outposts Expanded (I could go make outpost camps if I wanted)

CM Color Coded Mood Bar (helpful for spotting incoming mental breaks)

Avoid Friendly Fire (you think they would be smart enough to know not to walk in front of the guns but noooo)

Vanilla Brewing Expanded (alcohol woo)

Vanilla Brewing Expanded - Coffees and Teas (coffee and tea woo)

Vanilla Furniture Expanded - Power (adds new power sources)

Vanilla Factions Expanded - Mechanoids (scary robots)

Vanilla Weapons Expanded (can never have too many weapons)

Vanilla Factions Expanded - Medieval (more factions to make friends with)

Giddy Up! Core (framework for riding animals)

Giddy Up! Battle Mounts (ride animals into battle)

Giddy Up! Ride and Roll (ride animals around doing daily tasks)

Giddy Up! Caravans (ride animals on caravan trips)

Megafauna (biiiiiig pets!!)

Vanilla Plants Expanded - Succulents (for making the colony look pretty)

Biomes! Prehistoric (dinosaurs :3)

Vanilla Genetics Expanded (I don’t use this a lot but re-reading the description makes me think I should because it looks like a lot of fun)

Vanilla Genetics Expanded - More Lab Stuff (presumably adds “more lab stuff” to the aforementioned mod)

Vanilla Furniture Expanded - Security (more defense stuff)

[FSF] Complex Jobs (Legacy Version) (splits jobs into smaller subsections)

Snap Out! (slap pawns out of their mental breaks)

Wall Light (wall light my beloved)

Standalone Hot Spring (geothermal power boring and ugly, hot spring FAR better use of steam geysers)

Vanilla Ideology Expanded - Splits and Schisms (the one that meant Wookshys could start his stupid sub-cult)

Allow Tool (easier to forbid and unforbid items)

Minify Everything (sometimes picking up whole sections of brick wall is okay)

Replace Stuff (so I can build stone walls on top of wood walls without un-freezing the freezer, etc.)

Mod Manager (I have lots of mods to manage)

Interaction Bubbles (to see what mean stuff Irwin is saying to his friends each day)

Polyamory Beds (Vanilla Edition) (tempted to use this in all my guest rooms)

Haul to Stack (so they don’t clutter the freezer with individual piles of food instead of one big pile)

Pick Up and Haul (pawns can carry more than one thing at a time)

While You’re Up / PUAH+ (pawns will carry stuff while they’re on their way to and fro)

Giddy Up! Add On: Saddles (saddles don’t do anything they just look nice)

Roo’s Royalty Hairstyles (fancy hair)

Roo’s Accessory Hairstyles (Wendy’s hair was from this mod R.I.P.)

Rainbow’s Hair Mod (I like lots of options)

ResearchPal - Forked (I’ve always played with this mod and it’s hard to adjust without it)

Tilled Soil (it’s not cheating it’s just farming)

VGP Garden Resources (it’s a lovely day on the Rimworld and you are growing uranium in your garden)

More Faction Interaction (Continued) (I wanna be friends with EVERYONE!!)

Rim of Madness - Bones (skulls for the skull throne and all that jazz)

Anthro Race (because non-human colonists are awesome)

Alpha Mythology (adds mythological creatures to the Rimworld)

Vanilla Weapons Expanded - Laser (adds laser weapons)

Vanilla Factions Expanded - Pirates (love me some pirates)

Alpha Biomes (can never have enough biomes)

All The “Vanilla Storytellers Expanded” mods, but I have literally never used them due to my firm standing as a Randy Random purist

Vanilla Ideology Expanded - Relics and Artifacts (adds new relics and artifacts for your ideology)

Vanilla Ideology Expanded - Icons and Symbols (easier to customise your ideology)

Vanilla Weapons Expanded - Heavy (adds heavy weapons)

Vanilla Weapons Expanded - Non-Lethal (for when you REALLY wanna recruit someone)

Erin’s Cottage Collection (everything looks so cozy ❤️)

Euglena Framework (idk mate)

Euglena Expanded - Implant (idk mate)

Vanilla Factions Expanded - Empire (adds more Empire stuff)

ReGrowth: Tropical (adds new tropical plants and stuff I think)

Vanilla Furniture Expanded (the core bit)

Vanilla Textures Expanded - Variations (I don’t want everything looking so uniform! There’s like twelve different people building the chairs; they’re gonna look different)

Vanilla Fishing Expanded - Xtra Fish (more fish to distract Wookshys)

Vanilla Textures Expanded (makes stuff look sharper and crisper)

Euglena Expanded - Euglena Xenotype (tree people go brrrr)

Vanilla Furniture Expanded - Props and Decor (more props and decor)

Vanilla Weapons Expanded - Quickdraw (adds quickdraw weapons)

Vanilla Weapons Expanded - Coilguns (adds coilguns)

Vanilla Factions Expanded - Settlers (like cowboys and stuff I think)

Vanilla Weapons Expanded - Frontier (weapons for cowboys and stuff)

Vanilla Expanded - Ideology Patches (for patching things up to Ideology I guess)

Vanilla Expanded - Royalty Patches (for patching things up to Royalty I guess)

Vanilla Furniture Expanded - Spacer (cool spaceship style furniture)

Vanilla Furniture Expanded - Medical (my hospital is VERY cool)

Vanilla Weapons Expanded - Tribal (adds more tribal weapons)

Vanilla Weapons Expanded - Makeshift (adds makeshift weapons)

Vanilla Cooking Expanded - Sushi (if my colonists weren’t mostly vegetarian we could make sushi with all the fish Wookshys catches)

Vanilla Animals Expanded - Endangered (gonna start a conservation project)

Vanilla Cooking Expanded - Stews (I don’t know I had this one installed. Are vegetarian stews a thing? Probably not)

Vanilla Furniture Expanded - Art (I’m something of an artist myself)

Vanilla Furniture Expanded - Farming (for farm furniture I guess)

Vanilla Furniture Expanded - Production (makes for very nice workshops)

Vanilla Apparel Expanded - Accessories (adds fun utility items)

Vanilla Social Interactions Expanded (new social interactions for fun and interesting storytelling)

Vanilla Factions Expanded - Insectoids (bugs. ew.)

Vanilla Factions Expanded - Vikings (adds vikings)

Vanilla Weapons Expanded - Grenades (adds more grenades)

Vanilla Traits Expanded (I love hoarding traits)

Vanilla Events Expanded (more events)

Vanilla Apparell Expanded (more clothes)

Erin’s Cat Overhaul (I like cats)

Vanilla Armour Expanded (adds more armour)

Erin’s Hairstyles - Redux (There’s never enough hairstyle variety)

Rimsenal - Hair Pack (more hairstyles lmao)

Vanilla Hair Expanded (more hair)

Gradient Hair (so your colonists can have frosted tips I guess)

Vanilla Ideology Expanded - Hats and Rags (adds new ideology clothes)

Tabula Rasa (idk mate)

What’s That Mod? (tells you what mod stuff is from. VERY USEFUL)

LightsOut (pawns turn lights off when not using them)

RPG Style Inventory Revamped (better inventory layout)

RPG Traits+ (more traits haha)

Sand Castles (colonists can build sandcastles for recreation if there happens to be sand around)

Bundle of Traits (give me ALL THE TRAITS)

More Religious Origins (more ideology stuff)

Optimisation: Meats C# Edition (all meat is just “raw meat” unless it’s specifically “human meat” or “insect meat”, so it can all be stacked together easily)

Prisoners Don’t Have Keys (they gotta bash their way out if they want to escape)

Rational Romance 2 (Continued) (more romance-y stuff)

More Ideological Words (just makes random generation a bit easier and more interesting)

Roo’s Glasses Hairstyles (Debby’s hair is from this one)

Tau Armory (my favourite WH40k faction)

Somewhere in here is also the "Toddlers" mod for when Baby Kaznove comes along, but I added it after I'd typed up the whole list, and now I don't know where it fits in. Sorry about that!)

[bookinit02]

…graft?

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

hello i would like to tell you that since i saw your post mentioning the concept of a baf legacy + wayward guide crossover i haven't been able to stop thinking about it could you say more

HI ANON OMG IM THRILLED TO BE ABLE TO YELL ABOUT THIS

okay so i will admit that this isn’t a fully fleshed out idea yet (at the moment it’s mostly ✨vibes✨) but here’s what i’m thinking alright. so artemis and paul get brought back to do wayward guide season 3. they hear about this house on the hill that’s had a long history with weird going ons, and now, 17 or 18 years since the last recorded disturbances, there have been reports of unusual activity once again (since twg is in 2020, id imagine this would be 2021 or 2022, and the final baf legacy ep is set in 2004). ik obviously everything is supposedly set right in the baf legacy finale, but given the type of story it is, i don’t think it’s a stretch to have things start back up again. artemis and paul learn about everything that’s happened, talk to any surviving members of the families, and eventually, after plot reasons i do not know yet, they start to interact with the ghosts of all of those who died in the house. and you kinda get the gist! basically i just really want the schue-horyn twins to have to go and investigate and interact with all of the baf legacy characters because i think it would be fun and i think there’s some sort of story there. thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[syn4k]

Hello! You said in your pinned post that we can ask about your inner world. I don't know a whole lot about how that works, but I know inner worlds can be very different, and I was wondering what yours is like.

you can indeed! i was wondering when someone was gonna take us up on that offer. not gonna go into too much detail here for privacy reasons but ok you know how in a lot of mcyt fics the setting is still minecraft but it's this weird half-realism version of minecraft with a lot of the same mechanics and dimensions and monsters and magic systems and stuff? it's like that, but there's also an entire expanded multiverse and a few pantheons floating around

currently, there are several dozen people living in the village immediately surrounding front (where people can come up and talk to people outside the system and even control the body for a bit if they want. we call this "piloting" because it is incredibly similar to having a robot mech like in evangelion i've never seen evangelion), although most of them keep to themselves and come up here quite rarely. i say "people" quite lightly here- there's a lot of nonhumans, including the two permafronters (me [Ray] and Lance)!

it's pretty chill actually. we get a lot of people who wander in and out looking for a place to stay the night or who are escaping rough places. not all of them have clearly defined sources, but those who do 99% of the time come from within headspace itself, because for some reason our brain saw every mcyt we've ever been fixated on and went "what if i ran that through the autism filter and then made it an actual place that you can visit up here" and then did that. this applies to the multiverses as well which means that at any given time there are at least two Pixlriffses and three Xisumas living in the same general area, to name a few (they all find the situation hilarious and get along great).

there's never really a dull moment because after two years of "hey wait a minute there's more people in my me", a lot of inside jokes and silly rivalries have formed. there's also a fully recognized pantheon of deities for the main universe (the one where front is physically located) alone, but that's a whole nother bag of rats

but yeah. headspace my beloved <3