#TELL ME WE BOTH MATTER DON’T WE? 🎵

[deyasworld]

When your Blorbo is generally disliked by the audience

[toinfinitywinning]

What you see & hear- or even if you can. Just a cover.

Open it? There’s no tellin’ the worm. But you bought the ticket. It’s your Day 1.

They’re gonna try to break you.

Yk every Day I wake up. And I’m scared of it. Don’t want to. And not b/c im warm in my bed snuggling w/ my feather duvet and rain, with the weight of a horse on my legs play pretending he’s a 3 lb Show shhnowzaa but b/c I’ve already, already lived it. And having been in a constant State of fight or flight, normal or abnormal, sometimes u can’t tell —I still feel bad. W/e differentiation you had to separate the two both ended up at the North Pole but you’ve at least got Santa.

So this means I’m confused all Day but I still want some of Michael’s Secret Stuff Gatorade (haterade) from “welcome to the space jam—alright.” 🎵. To get me through. A safe energy drink. And your body doesn’t ☊ anymore so the more you talk to yourself the saner. It’s just I’ve never had to fake I’m physically okay to be present so much. Physical sickness affects ur mind Health and if you already struggle w/ that my condolences b/c your leg hurts too.

It’s a nightmare never 1-upping to a dream of being without. Then some days it’s will hear a song or remember a Good time or just Start crying-faucet not included. No acute-reason onset. (We gotta find another word for trigger no joke). I only subconsciously wonder will today be better…Will I get better? And I don’t know why I continue to continue being somewhere inbtw positive and negative. All the sudden my mind is taxed and so are your paychecks and I’ve been up for 15 minutes not even thinking I was thinking b/c Truth is, when something becomes your reality for such a Long time, everything just runs together. You’re afraid to feel anything yet know if you don’t it’s not just your body ready to atrophy. Not Good. And it’s a sneaky lil’ mf.

I can’t Imagine the omnipresent (best word for constant I got) Pain people feel having been with Illness their whole lives. How differently their world is shaped. Pain, prolonged cynicism, Illness prolonged, disability prolonged, w/e u used to think about things is gone unless you’re born one of these ways. Now to be clear I was born this Way but not THIS Way don’t get it twisted. Some days I wonder what it would be like to swap around. W/e it is—This presence does not belong to God— but maybe its mere existence really does b/c we won’t have anyone to thank if things get better? And there’s no joy in the things we’ve hoped for and overcome? And everything always has an End result of some kind…Right? If that’s my endgame I can only look at some things very matter of fact-ly. But. Here we are. Pending. Loading. Accept All Cookies. Your Health for potential healing is At the mercy of literally a button click away from quality or lifesaving or changing Medicine or therapy. CAN YOU AFFORD TO STAY ALIVE? Be fired? Bankrupt-ed? Evicted? No college, no trade School, but you work ur butt off to provide but you’re still paid $7.25/hr as I was as head intramural supervisor at Georgetown College. 15 years ago. Not just that, exist, like eating, clothes to wear, some sort of roof. So you’re choosing between crappy and crappier. Literally no difference. How in the is someone even going to try to stay healthy?!

Thankfully I don’t have to worry as much about the material, which, its Stress alone induces more trauma and Anxiety, but I’d bet how we feel physically isn’t too different. All the sudden again in the subconscious where I am all the time I’m figuring and not truly present you really think existentially like how in not God’s name clearly did I get here? I fixed everything. But Life isn’t played by a claw that has never won anybody a teddy bear. I wouldn’t pin karma to me in itself but it sure makes you think.

None of this is about to make sense but it’s where my mind took me.

Think about what was happening in your Life before things changed. Before literally waking up one Morning and knowing that very second things had to change or I was headed toward death a lot faster than I thought until that God moment. I don’t have many of them that are that dramatic but nothing was clearer to me in that moment. And then that Damn bat and conspiracy crap of government population control. If anthrax was sprinkled in Amazon boxes we’d be extinct. But Pretty sure we know how to get rid of people without breaking a beaker or test tube and then turning on a fan just gifting particles. And Unraveling ALL of the many ways of healing I’d finally lived into. I was so close. To every Fk up id invited. And so asking why anymore seems vacant. Echoing. And my ears hurt. ATP I’m More so saying well, I’m not sure that strategy is going to work anymore. Where’s the ღ in Health. It’s lost it. How much are you worth? No, like write down a monetary number on a piece of paper, fold it and slide it across the desk. Insurance companies be like: I see your offer and I’ll raise your offer: have you tried dying yet? B/c you could save a lot of money that way. The money it will take to bury you might even be more deadly.

So The most defeating part is beginning the Day as it ends. When I think about that it’s just like how did I get here? I’m still stubborn about it but maybe regardless of w/e someone accomplishes there’s the reality you’re still living in an imperfect world where you can only control so many things. Even if u gain that control back all those traps R still available. So you can Imagine my surprise when there’s not enough OCD to Go around to control THIS. regardless of what we can have control over, do that, b/c the smaller victories become magnified and walking to the kitchen to take your Meds that may or may not be helping is like an 8-ball w/ only 8 options. Eenie meenie miney. Mo.

I don’t set out to cry or tear up in the videos I share. I’ve always been a cryer. I’ve been told I feel things more intensely so it hits different, does different. The direct quote will remain anonymous but the sentimental pack rat in me wrote it down ASAP. Like, a handwritten letter. You took TIME for me. The quote—It was several years ago and I almost can’t stand it b/c it’s me in whatever kind of Shell is available at the time.

[“people perceive me as an individual who has the kindest of all hearts, but who struggles with the realities of life given that kindness…Like how the tenderhearted feel the pains of the earth more intensely.”]

It’s so true. But if I can’t be real what Good’s that gonna do? For me it further affirms what I already am living. In Edgar’s scary A** pit or with the company of not one canary in the coal mine.

C’ya in the AM. 🫡

[softpine]

 🎵 my first taste of looove, woahhh bittersweet :’(

that’s not a dumb question at all !! it’s actually a little bit of both. in the beginning, matt was in such disbelief about actually dating stevie that he was happy to go at whatever pace she wanted. he thought stevie would get tired of him quickly, so he was just enjoying whatever time he had with her. but as time went on, stevie ended up trusting him more, which means he saw more of what’s going on in stevie’s life & her past, and he started feeling like he might be in over his head. matt just wasn’t prepared for how serious things have gotten in stevie’s life lately.

so, long story short: in the beginning, he was ready for either a casual or serious relationship, but when he realized just how serious it could be, he started to backpedal.

AHHH that’s the highest compliment, that’s exactly what i hoped to accomplish!! 💖💖 i always worry that i spoil too much in asks and stuff, but as i’m always saying, it’s about the journey, not the destination!

omg yes that’s the perfect way to describe matt right now! “I thought we would have more fun together, but... we don’t really.” is probably the most immature thing matt has said, but i can’t even fault him for it, because they are so young. matt isn’t a bad person for wanting a fun, casual relationship at 17. it just majorly sucks for stevie, especially given the abrupt way that everything happened :((

lmaoooo i know 😭 it’s because he genuinely thought this was going to be a totally amicable breakup. he knew stevie has been acting weird for the past few weeks, and he sorta thought it was because she was trying to let him down easy. this is how it would’ve gone in matt’s head:

matt: hey i brought you this frog

stevie: that’s cool thanks. but i think our relationship has run its course

matt: true 👍🏽

stevie: still friends though?

matt: yep

oh no that’s not actually happening!! no one is cheating on anyone! i wrote that out a long time ago because i really really just don’t want to write cheating into my story, and i found another effective way to get the outcome i needed :) i’ll share more info when we’ve gotten past the point where it would’ve happened!

wait do you not consider asa and finn to be good men fjskdjsd ? i get it though, i’m so sad for her 😭 the thing about matt is that even after all of this, he isn’t a bad guy. he truly wanted the best for stevie. all the times where he comforted her or got her out of a bad situation still means something, it still matters, even if the relationship ends badly. “don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened”....... but stevie is obviously not there yet lol

he actually did mean “i love you” in a romantic way, just like stevie, but he doesn’t think it’s enough to make their relationship work. i don’t want to get into it toooo much, because matt will talk about it later, but he very much does love stevie! but..... yeah 😭 hug your dog extra for me jfksjds

i’m sorry to all the matt/stevie supporters out there lmaooo i’m ruining everything 😭 i genuinely feel so sad because i loved them too ;-;

oops i didn’t see this in time, i pretty much covered it in this response!! aside from the stuff that i can’t tell you yet :P

show up at my house and we’ll cry together because i’m pissed too fjksjds

godddd i know :(((((( i literally want to scoop her up in a bear hug and never let go fjskjds thank you so much for reading 💖

[puckwritesstuff]

🎵 4

4. "Running Up That Hill" - Kate Bush

“Tell me, we both matter, don’t we?”

I am living for the Kate Bush renaissance.

Thank you for the ask!

---

Sigyn made her way towards the edge of the land that New Asgard had been given by Norway. The surrounding hills and mountains made it relatively secluded from the main town that was Sigyn’s kingdom. Sigyn knocked on the door before entering.

Wanda was in the kitchen area, her magic pouring a second cup of tea while she looked through a book Sigyn had loaned her. She looked up as Sigyn walked in.

“Nice to see you,” Wanda said. “It’s been a while.”

“I had some things to take care of,” Sigyn said, sitting down and accepting the tea. “Running even a small nation takes a lot of work.”

“Especially considering the influence you’ve managed to gain on the world stage,” Wanda said.

“Well, I won’t take all of the credit for that,” Sigyn said. “Fandral is very good at his job.”

Wanda smiled, laughing softly.

“How have you been?” Sigyn asked.

“Better,” Wanda said. “I’ve learned so much being here, it’s… nice to be in a place where what I do is not the strangest thing people have seen.”

“I understand,” Sigyn said. “This world is very different from what it was when I was younger. Different from how Thor described it.”

Wanda nodded.

“I understand you have a cat now?” Wanda said.

“Oh, yes, Eris,” Sigyn said. “He’s Nari’s cat, really, though I’m the one who ends up taking care of him.”

“Well, Nari’s young,” Wanda said. “He’ll grow into it.”

“Learning responsibility is something his father and uncle took much longer to learn,” Sigyn said. “I’m hoping that starting earlier will help.”

Wanda considered this.

“Eris…” she said. “Interesting name.”

Sigyn paused. “How so?”

“It’s Greek, isn’t it?” Wanda said. “Goddess of Discord?”

“Yes,” Sigyn said, deciding not to give any more information.

Wanda shrugged. “It’s just interesting.”

“I see,” Sigyn said.

There was a brief pause.

“How did you know?” Sigyn asked.

Wanda raised an eyebrow. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice? I’m a chaos witch, Sigyn. The return of one of the Gods of Chaos is not something that can be ignored.”

“Wanda, please,” Sigyn said. “You don’t know what happened. You can’t—”

“I can’t, what?” Wanda asked. “Tell anyone? Who would I tell? Who would believe me? Loki of Asgard was taken from another universe and brought to ours as a refugee from a police force that claims to be in charge of time. What did you think I would do?”

“I don’t know,” Sigyn said. “I am not as familiar with psychiatric medicine, but I imagined that this could prove a trigger for you.”

“Could it?” Wanda asked. “I suppose I did wonder how it was fair. How the universe could chose to give him back, when Vision never did anything to hurt anyone.”

“It’s not fair,” Sigyn said. “I didn’t really know Vision, but he seemed like a good man. I wish I could have done something— something different, something faster. The Mind Stone was a bane for me as much as it was a boon for you. While it gave you Vision, it took Loki from me and turned him into something horrible that he never recovered from. He can heal now. Now that it’s gone. Now that he’s gone. I’m sorry I could not do the same for you.”

“Why not?” Wanda asked.

Sigyn paused. “Wanda, his universe was destroyed, he has nowhere to return to. Even if we went and found a Vision in the Void, he would by no means be one that is safe to bring here. More likely than not, he’d be Ultron.”

“I’m not saying we do that,” Wanda said.

“What are you saying?” Sigyn asked.

Wanda got up and went over to a side table. Opening the drawer, she pulled out a book that made Sigyn’s heart clench. As Wanda paged through the Darkhold, she walked back over to the table.

“There are spells that allow you to walk in another universe,” Wanda said. “My children are out there. I can get them back.”

“You can get them back?” Sigyn said, standing. “Wanda, what has that book been showing you?”

“So many things,” Wanda said. “About the power that I wield, about Chaos Magic and the Scarlet Witch, about—”

“That book is evil,” Sigyn said. “You shouldn’t even have it, let me—”

Sigyn reached out to take the book and Wanda stepped back.

“Why shouldn’t I?” Wanda asked. “This book was written for me, for the Scarlet Witch.”

“It’s corrosive magic,” Sigyn said. “The kind that changes who you are, what you think. It grips you in the thing you want most and uses you to do its bidding and destroy everything you care about.”

Wanda shook her head. “Not for me. It is showing me the power that you refuse to teach me.”

“You were never trained by someone who wields magic!” Sigyn said. “The things I show you are the fundamentals of what we do, and you are flying through them at a pace no child would! And still you have no patience!”

Sigyn’s magic floated around her hands.

“I cannot allow you to jeopardize yourself and everything else,” Sigyn said. “Surrender the Darkhold, or I will be forced to take more drastic measures.”

Wanda laughed as her magic washed over her and the Scarlet Witch armor appeared.

“I would love to see you try,” Wanda said.

[outrunningthedark]

I was asked to list the 911 episodes that contain significant moments for Buddie’s relationship so here we go (feat. highlights):

2.01 [Under Pressure]

🌈 “Who the hell is that?”

🌈 “We might end up real close.”

🌈 “You can have my back any day.” //“Yeah. Or, you know, you could...you could have mine.”

2.03 [Help Is Not Coming]

🌈 “Whoa, you got a kid?”

“Christopher. He’s seven.”

“And super adorable. I, uh. I love kids.”

“I love this one. I’m all he’s got.”

2.04 [Stuck]

Just watch the episode. That’s my advice.

2.06 [Dosed]

🌈 Buck assumes Maddie is referring to Eddie when she says “He is so cute.” “Yeah, he gets that a lot. You should meet his kid, though.”

2.08 [Buck, Actually]

🌈 Thomas + Mitchell’s love story: “You don’t find it, son. You make it.”

2.10 [Merry Ex-Mas]

🌈 “You two have an adorable son.”

2.13 [Fight or Flight]

🌈 Eddie is there for Buck after Maddie has been kidnapped by Doug. “This isn’t your fault.”

2.18 [This Life We Choose]

3.01 [Kids Today]

🌈 Christopher gives Buck a card to congratulate him on returning to work: “Buck, you are an awesome firefighter. Love, Christopher.”

🌈 Eddie lets himself into Buck’s apartment and drags Buck out of bed to spend time with Christopher

🌈 Buck and Christopher have a day of fun (before disaster strikes)

🌈 Christopher assures Buck “You’re gonna be okay, kid.”

3.02 [Sink or Swim]

(Meanwhile, he has no idea that Buck and Christopher are caught up in the tsunami.)

3.03 [The Searchers]

🌈 Buck looks for a missing Christopher (he places Christopher’s glasses around his neck after retrieving them from the water)

🌈 Buck asks Maddie “How do you tell your best friend that you lost his son?”

🌈 Buck collapses in relief after Eddie is reunited with Christopher, who isn’t severely hurt

🎵 you won’t ever be alone, wait for me to come home 🎵 (If I gave you highlights of the ending I’d be quoting the entire dialogue.)

3.05 [Rage]

🌈 “No, because he filed a stupid lawsuit and now I can’t even talk to you because of it. You know how much Christopher misses you? How could you? You’re not around.”

3.06 [Monsters]

🌈 Buck tells Eddie “I just want you to talk to me. Even if it’s just to say that you’re still mad.”

Eddie: “I’m not mad...When you decided to sue the department, to make Cap the bad guy, did you ever stop for a minute to think what that could do to us?”

🌈 “I really am sorry. So, whatever it takes for you to forgive me...”

“I forgive you...Just don’t do it again.” *cue last time they’ve hugged in canon*

3.09 [Fallout]

🌈 “Buck was on the pier when the tsunami hit. He’s kind of obsessed with natural disasters.”

🌈 The Kitchen Scene™

🌈 Eddie says playing video games with Buck and Christopher is “my kind of therapy”.

3.10 [The Christmas Spirit]

(Eddie’s expression while watching Buck play with Christopher and Denny.)

🌈 Christopher asks Buck if he can spend Christmas with him since Eddie is working. Buck admits he will also be working. Christopher is unamused. (“Stupid work.”)

🌈 Athena and Buck team up to bring everybody’s family to the firehouse for a Christmas celebration. Buck watches Eddie and Christopher embrace, then later helps Christopher open a gift.

3.11 [Seize the Day]

🌈 “Uh, this is Eddie’s house. I’m not really a guest.”

3.12 [Fools]

🌈 Buck and Eddie construct an adaptive skateboard for Christopher and are both present the first time he tries it out

3.15 [Eddie Begins]

🌈 Buck digs his hands through the dirt and mud after Eddie gets trapped underground. (“Eddie! No! Eddie!”) Bobby has to pull him back.

🌈 Buck believes he is the one who should go down in the well to rescue Eddie. Hen asks, “So we can end up with two cut lines?”

🌈 Eddie recalls bits & pieces of his life as he fights to survive. Buck is part of the montage (along with Christopher and Shannon).

3.16 [The One That Got Away]

🌈 Eddie tells Buck that the 118 will never stop being a family no matter what the future holds (In hindsight, we now understand why he said that.)

3.18 [What’s Next?]

🌈 Buck is not thrilled with the idea of Christopher attending summer camp: “Woah, woah. Two weeks away from home? Isn’t Chris kind of young for that? I mean, what if something happens? What if he gets homesick?”

🌈 Buck and Eddie come face-to-face with Abby Clark, Buck’s ex-girlfriend, while attempting to rescue victims of a train crash. It is the first time Eddie has seen her in person.

🌈 Buck is willing to risk his life to fulfill a promise he makes to Abby (save her fiancé). Eddie is not happy about this and argues with Buck in front of Bobby.

🌈 Eddie: “His fiancée’s Abby.”

🌈 Eddie joins Buck as he watches Abby leave the scene of the crash with her fiancé.

“You okay?” // “What’s next?”

🌈 Buckley-Diaz cuteness at May’s high school graduation party

4.01 [Alone Together]

🌈 All you need to know is that Eddie, Hen, and Chimney quarantined at Buck’s apartment during the beginning stages of COVID-19.

4.03 [Future Tense]

🌈 Buckley-Diaz game nights are still going strong, making it canon that Buck is the only other adult Christopher has spent time with during the pandemic (He has yet to see Carla, Abuela, or Pepa.)

🌈 Buck and Christopher “prank” Eddie by sending him an expensive coffee maker to poke fun at his fear of technology

4.04 [9-1-1, What’s Your Grievance?]

🌈 Eddie watches Buck take out his anger towards his parents on the punching bag. He tells Buck he doesn’t need to apologize to them for his recent behavior if he didn’t “say anything that wasn’t true”.

🌈 “I just want to hit things.” *Eddie stalls the swaying bag with his hand.* “I’ve been down that road. I don’t recommend it.”

4.05 [Buck Begins]

🌈 “I had to do it.” // “I know you did.”

4.06 [Jinx]

🌈 “Check.” ☑️

🌈 Eddie is “still not sure what inspired the [Buck 3.0] software update.”

4.08 [Breaking Point]

🌈 click here for a detailed analysis of the interaction between Buddie when Eddie comes home after his date by my friend @yramesoruniverse

🌈 click here for an in-depth look at the conversation between Buck and Christopher after Christopher took an Uber to Buck’s apartment without Eddie’s knowledge

4.12 [Treasure Hunt]

Buck: “...” “How do you feel about 33-and-a-third?”

4.13 [Suspicion]

A must watch.

4.14 [Survivors]

You can’t watch 4.13 and NOT check out the finale.

“Because, Evan...”

[grantgfan]

Sally:🎵 Don't matter what you look like Don't matter what you wear How many rings you got on your finger We don't care

Choir: (No we don't care)

sally: Don't matter where you come from Don't even matter what you are A dog, a pig, a cow, a goat Had em' all in here

Choir: (We had em' all in here)

sally: And they all knew what they wanted What they wanted me to do I told them what they needed Just like I be telling you

You gotta dig a little deeper Find out who you are You gotta dig a little deeper It really ain't that far

When you found out who you are You find out what you need Blue skies and sunshine Guaranteed You gotta dig

Choir: (Dig)

sally: You gotta dig

Choir: (Dig)

sally: little birdie is a rich little boy You wanna be rich again? That ain't gonna make you happy now Did it make you happy then? No!

Money ain't got no soul Money ain't got no heart All you need is some self-control Make yourself a brand new start

You gotta dig a little deeper Don't have far to go You gotta dig a little deeper Tell the people Mama told you so

Can't tell you what you'll find Maybe love will grant you peace of mind Dig a little deeper and you'll know

sally: hey girl?

ellie: yeah?

sally: Might I have a word?

amanda: sure

sally: Your both hard one, that's what I heard great hadji was a lovin' man Family through and through we are hadji's students What we had in him we got in us

You gotta dig a little deeper For you it's gonna be tough You gotta dig a little deeper You ain't dug far enough

Dig down deep inside yourself You'll found out what you need Blue skies and sunshine guaranteed Open up the windows Let in the light, children

Choir: (Blue skies and sunshine) (Blue skies and sunshine)

ellie: Blue skies and sunshine

sally: Guaranteed

Choir: (Ahhh...)🎵

[katieverse]

There won’t be a new chapter of Sprucing up Chicago this week, but here is a tease for next week!

Emoji tease: 🧔🏼🥵😍 + 👱🏻‍♀️🎂🎉 + 🧔🏼👧🏼😢🥰 + 👱🏻‍♀️🧔🏼🍹🎵

Scene tease:

“Lexi’s cast needs to stay on for six weeks, and they plastered her entire arm. It’s only a matter of time until she’ll find out how limited her mobility will be. Even if it’s not her dominant hand,” Sylvie told her with a sigh, pressing her lips into a flat line. “The fact that it’s summer, and she’s out of school certainly doesn’t help. It’s gonna be a long six weeks for both of us.”

“Violet’s sprained ankle thankfully happened during the school year. I don’t even want to think about something like that happening during the holidays. She would go nuts.” Christie blinked several times as she shook her head, letting out a huff. “Anyway, I’m sure you’ll find ways to keep Lexi busy, and if not, I think Matt would gladly volunteer.”

So she did pick up on it after all. At least on how close Matt and Lexi had gotten. It threw Sylvie for a loop again, and she wasn’t sure how to answer the other woman.

“We’ll be in Fowlerton for the next week, and with the move in two weeks, she’ll hopefully be busy enough for a while,” Sylvie cautiously answered, trying to avoid the Matt topic. “She’s adamant about the organization of her toys, so she’ll probably rearrange her room a few times. She’s got that from me. I like spreadsheets and organized cabinets.”

A laugh burst out of Christie at her words. “I know we agreed that your friend Stella would help us bring over all of your things from your apartment, but if you’d rather do it yourself, I can totally understand.”

“No, it’s fine. It will be easier if you do it. Just please don’t be mad if I end up rearranging everything. It has nothing to do with your designs. I love them! Especially these beautiful sage green kitchen cabinets.” Sylvie pointed to the row of cabinets that lined the kitchen as she threw Christie an apologetic smile.

Christie gently grabbed her upper arms, smoothing her thumbs over her shoulder. It reminded her of Matt’s touch, and together with the almost similar solemn look Christie gave her, Sylvie felt an immense wave of calmness spread through her.

“Sylvie, it’s fine. Most of our clients don’t take any of the things I place inside their house. It’s staged to look nice, but that doesn’t mean it’s practical. You’re free to keep whatever you want or rearrange it to your heart’s desire,” Christie assured her with a squeeze to her shoulders.

“These giving back episodes are special in many ways and completely different from our normal episodes. We want to make you as comfortable as possible in your new house, and I won’t take it personally if you don’t like what I’ve chosen for you. Trust me.”

Even after two months, it was sometimes hard to wrap her head around the fact that they were essentially gifting her an entire house. Yes, her parents had bought it, but the renovations and the furniture came from the show. It was a lot, and she would never stop being grateful for it.

“Thank you again, Christie. I don’t think I can ever tell you how much all of this means to me. I never thought this would be possible.” Her voice was a bit unsteady, and she had to swallow down the lump in her throat. She was absolutely not going to cry right now.

“Everything OK here?” Matt’s voice reached her ears in the next second, and then his warm hand landed on her back, running slowly up and down.

For a fleeting moment, her mind screamed at her to turn into him and press herself against his chest. His embrace was warm and safe, and now that she had gotten a taste of it, it was hard to resist. The concerned look in his eyes didn’t make it any better, but Christie’s presence in front of her stopped her.

[trailshome]

hi clam!! how about [ 😇 ], [ 🎵 ] and [ ❌ ] for th3 ros?? also can you tell the ros i love them. they are just So. loveable and huggable hrngg i love them so much ... sigh anyway fun fact: one of my earliest memories is of me throwing snow at my dad’s car lol!! i also remember eating snow, but i don’t remember the taste!

— spice [also my brother (the one who let me keep his ring safe for him) let me keep it!! apparently he can’t wear it on base?? but he told me i could keep it as long as i make sure not to lose it haha!! also i’ve been making MORE ocs. it’s driving me wild bc whenever i make a new oc i feel compelled to make a playlist and a pretty pinterest board and a cool back story and that doesn’t go well when you make several new ones at the same time because i end up working on all of them simultaneously which makes everything kinda. messy and Not How I Wanted It To Be, you know? anyway how are you today clam? i hope the day’s been good to you!! <33 remember to take care of urself alr?? we love you!! 💕]

//Mwah, platonic forehead kisses for you, Spice!! I'm doing well, drained from seeing family the other day but thriving off of left over dinner!! You know, I only ate snow once and it was because a friend convinced me -- never did it again. Snow is yucky and I didn't like the texture of it, haha!! That's super cool that your brother let you keep his ring!!

[ ❌ ] is there something your muse struggles with that they might never overcome? what is it? why do they have so much trouble with it?

Finlay: haha, their religious trauma -- I don't think they'll ever overcome it but it might become more bearable to live with and/or for them to understand. I suppose they struggle with it because so much of their identity is based around the church and their work commissioned by said church.

Lesilfae: I don't know... He probably has something he's struggling with but I can't think of anything aside from the obvious ''has feelings for his best friend but his best friend is oblivious and in a relationship with his 'enemy'' thing. Sorry for the cop-out answer! :/

Galeon: Him? Struggling? I would never let him struggle! but he does have some strong beef with how the church (and by proxy the court because they're kinda just letting this happen) is monopolizing Healers making his 'business' illegal and forcing people who can't afford 'proper' healers to suffer.

Hollond: Mytessa. They messed them up the most imo and I don't think they'll ever get over things said and done between them. Struggles with it more so because they've acknowledged that parent's aren't meant to be like Mytessa and Aostran but they don't know how to go about fixing/removing that.

Greta: No struggles, just vibes tbh.

???: Religious trauma 2.0 with a side of hates the matriarchy -- can't go any further in depth to it for now but it's not going well for her...

[ 🎵 ] is there a specific song or songs you associate with your muse? why is that?

Finlay: either Churchyard by Aurora or Our Will Be Done by Larry and his Flask. Don't know why, honestly added aurora because I have a stupidly huge crush on her...

Lesilfae: Two Birds or The Call by Regina Spektor (hello flashbacks to 2017) Why? I wanna see if yall can guess why, might be hard tho :D

Galeon: Obstacles by Syd Matters (growing up with Les) or Brother by Kodaline (the music video makes me cry hella tears)

Hollond: Cellophane by FKA Twigs and If I Had a Heart by Fever Ray -- First song for Holly's feelings towards Galeon and second song for feelings in general.

Greta: Buttercup by Jack Stauber, covered by Sophie Wood and Julian or Lady (Hear Me Tonight) by Modjo -- these both give me Greta vibes, I feel like she'd listen to these on repeat.

???: Brutus by The Buttress or Sister of Charity by The 69 Eyes for the vibes. Brutus is a bit... spoilery imo and is pretty 'on the nose' so... haha!!

[ 😇 ] what would your muse do if they became a god?

Finlay: Hard to say, I think they'd be a distant but ultimately benevolent god who'd occasionally offer a hand to those that need it. Would be a miracle granted imo

Lesilfae: A greedy god who's intent is never known. Probably caused some chaos for the sake of offerings or smth. 10/10 bad god but not the worst.

Galeon: Sweet boy, would bring about a peaceful world. The most benevolent god you could meet, devoted to his people and their wellbeing.

Hollond: lmao uh oh... probably a spiteful and fickle god -- doesn't like most of their subjects but tolerates them because what is a god without worshippers? Doesn't help them often, more inclined to help the young or the elderly, the truly pitiable.

Greta: Chaos for no reason. A friendly god, very much a trickster who causes damage by accident -- doesn't mean to and makes up for it with plentiful bounty and harvest.

???: A malevolent god but not out of pure evil -- thinks destruction of her subjects is the kindest mercy she can offer. Doesn't believe her world is worth saving or helping. She's a jaded and hurt god.

[yukikorogashi]

As 2021 comes to an end, I'd like to say that first & foremost, I have & will always be grateful for you being in my life. Becky, you've been nothing but a delight & a wonderful friend to not only get to know, but to nurture a friendship with. You've been such a great presence both on dash & in my life. I cannot explain to you how wonderful it's been to see you grow both in your art & your graphics, watching as you become more confident within yourself & your work. I love the way you push forward with passion & drive. You've become one of my great friends & I hope you know that I will support you until the day I ascend the astral plane. Honestly, you've done so much for me & I can only hope that I've done the same for you. I want you to know that I honestly think you're one of the most amazing, creative & determined people I've ever met. I know that times are hard for you, but I can only hope that as 2021 comes to an end, those times begin. You have worked so hard in life & deserve the break that all people find as times roll forward. You have such a brightness in you - a light that will never go out. It may dim as you grow tired, but I know you will shine just as bright as a star when the time comes ! I am so very proud of you, Becky. I know I say this a lot, but I do mean it from the bottom of my heart. I am wishing you all the best as 2022 comes around. Please, continue to write, draw & create all the content that makes you happy. I can tell that your heart is in everything you do & your work shows how happy you are with it. Know that your struggles pay off & your efforts are appreciated. I appreciate you being here in this galaxy so much & as well as being my friend. I can never thank the universe for allowing us to meet and be friends ! Our writing together has been so fun & something I would never pass up. Here's to another year of friendship - to 2022 & the success we both know you very much deserve ! ♥♥

We aaaare steppin; oooouuut!                             Into 2022, into 2022 🎵!

   SHAKES YOU BY YOUR SHOULDERS because I am honestly speechless with how poignantly this entire thing is worded... But then again, I shouldn’t be surprised by this point, knowing you, Ash aeuhawueh. But, good lord, what can I possibly say other than thank you? Thank you. THANK YOU. Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for being my friend, if not one fo my dearest ones by this point. Thank you for al that you do. And for just being nothing but one of the most exemplary human beings that this world has ever seen. And I thank you, for how much you have tolerated me, while somehow still seeing so much good in me. 

   I truly don’t know what I did to deserve it, but I want you to know how grateful I truly am. And still hope to repay all of that, in coming times. But haha look at us... saying that we have done so much for one another, when we are still finding ways to repay one another. You especially, have done so much for me, Ash, I can’t say that enough. Be it readily commissioning me (While ofc also promoting me in almost every way that you can) for things to aid me financially (I know I was only able to afford most of my christmas gifts for my family this year because of you), to just sitting there with me as I share the going ons that attempt to crush my spirits each and everyday... you have done so, so, so much for me as a friend, and I hope that I can do the same for you, or at least return the favour in whatever way that I can on my end.

   You yourself are a shining star, no matter what. For despite the hurt, sadness and exasperation that you understandably feel from the world around you, you still shine. For no matter how low they try to drag you down, you are still shining brightly no matter where you are. And I think that’s so damn incredible, as I bear witness to your strength each and every single day.

   There’s no denying by this point that there is still so much work to be done, so much up ahead that we will have to overcome. But you know what? It will be fine, especially with you and my other pals there alongside with me. And the fact that I KNOW we will be ascending, progressing, no matter what. But truly, things will improve. Things will look up. No matter how long it might take. And someday we will get to where we want to be. And I know I once again owe you and the others, when it comes to making it up those steps. Girl, please don’t you ever stop in your craft. You are truly one of the most talented writers that I know (Lord knows I have learnt so much from you, if not relearnt, when considering how often this shitty brain of mine resets itself LOL), and your drawings are so underrated and deserves so much love too. I know that you are going to become a successful writer one of these days, I JUST KNOW IT. So please keep going onward, girl, we believe so so much in you. 

   Here’s to another year together, my friend. I look forward to us RPing more, chatting more and just... everything tbh. Honestly I wish we could meet in person one day, when the world is a little less insane and when we are both in better places. Because you really need to come by Singapore one day, okay? ❤️ Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year in advance hehe.

@hamadaxfighter ❤️