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sacredsnape · 3 years ago

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unconditionally | part one

read part two here

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prologue

september 1st, 1974

your parents had just dropped you off at platform 9 ¾ for your very first year at hogwarts.

you hugged them tightly and bid them goodbye, their arms lingering around you before you finally stepped onto the hogwarts express.

you looked around for an empty compartment, feeling intimidated by the much taller and older students bustling through the train. this would be your first year at hogwarts and you were feeling a mix of emotions, ranging from excitement to nervousness.

you poked your head into several compartments, your presence being unwelcomed by those who sat in them. you frowned and walked over to the next compartment, looking inside to see a red haired girl and a black haired boy sitting inside.

"do you two mind if i sit here? everywhere else is full," you politely asked them.

"sure!" the girl happily exclaimed as the boy nodded, a small smile on his face as you sat down next to him.

"i'm lily evans," the girl said as she extended her hand to shake yours. "and this is my friend, severus snape."

you shook her hand before looking over at severus, who shyly shook your hand.

"hello, i'm y/n," you told the duo as you sat back in your seat. "what year are you two in?"

"we're both fourth years," severus replied as he quickly smoothed out the wrinkles in his robes. you noticed that his robes looked older and dirtier than yours and lily's, and unlike most people who would instantly judge him, you felt sorry for him.

"oh, i'm only a first year," you replied with a timid smile. "what houses do you two belong to?"

"slytherin," severus proudly replied as lily said, "gryffindor."

"ah, my dad's a ravenclaw. my mom is a muggle. i'm hoping that i end up in ravenclaw like my dad," you grinned.

"i'm muggle born, so i'm the only witch in the family," lily told you.

"i'm also half blood," severus softly told you as he looked over at you. "my dad is a muggle and my mom's a witch."

"i'm glad that we all have muggle ancestry in common. my dad told me that there's been a lot of pure blood supremacy happening recently," you cautiously informed lily and severus. "my parents almost didn't let me go to hogwarts since they've been hearing about a lot of bad things happening in the wizarding world."

"hogwarts is the safest place on earth," lily reassured you. "it's not like anything bad could happen there."

"speak for yourself," severus mumbled as a tall, light brown haried boy with round glasses opened the door of the compartment.

"hello, lily. you look quite lovely today," the boy brightly told lily, who blushed a little and quickly looked away. the boy then looked over at you and severus, a smirk crossing his features.

"ah, looks like snivellus got himself a girlfriend," he chuckled.

"don't call me snivellus," severus replied as he looked down at his tattered shoes. "and she's not my girlfriend. we've only just met right now."

"that wasn't very nice of you to say, james," lily sternly told the boy.

james snorted and quipped, "don't tell me you're sticking up for a fool like him, lily."

"that's not nice," you bluntly informed james, staring directly at him. "did your parents never teach you proper manners?"

an awkward silence fell upon the compartment and severus looked up at you with wide eyes. james glared at you and spat, "i didn't ask you for your opinion."

"and none of us asked you to come into our compartment and be rude," you cooly retorted.

james gaped at you and then looked over at lily, asking her, "well, what do you want to do, lily? come sit with my friends and i or stay here with these two losers?"

lily quickly looked between you, severus, and james, before indignantly telling james that she'd be staying.

james scoffed and left, shutting the door behind him. severus was trembling slightly, his cheeks red as he avoided your gaze.

"thank you," he breathed, clutching onto his robes as he sighed. "i've never been able to stand up for myself against james. he's bullied me for years now. luckily, lily has defended me before, and it feels good knowing that someone else is doing it now too."

severus then looked up at you, smiling wryly. you smiled back, feeling yourself blush lightly. you honestly thought that he was cute and you found yourself staring at severus for pretty much the rest of the ride to hogwarts, grinning every time he let out a small laugh or smiled.

upon arriving at hogwarts, you were sorted into ravenclaw. you joined the other ravenclaws and waved at lily and severus from where you sat.

from that day on, you grew close with the both of them. although they were three years older than you were, you enjoyed spending time with them. the three of you would often sit down by the lake and talk, or attend the school quidditch matches together.

you and severus grew particularly close and developed soft spots for each other. severus didn't like a lot of people, yet he held you close to his heart.

however, your hopes of severus ever liking you back came to a screeching halt when he told you one day that he liked lily.

"you do?" you quietly asked him, shock written across your face. the two of you were sat in the great hall doing your history of magic homework together. lily was talking to a professor across the room, severus' eyes lingering on her before he turned back to you to whisper, "yes, i do. that prick james potter likes her too."

you processed his words and bit your lip; lily wouldn't date james since he was very rude, but that didn't mean you had a chance with severus. he had literally told you earlier that day that you were like a little sister to him.

you sighed quietly and replied, "well, hopefully it works out between you two." you forced a smile onto your face before resuming your homework, thoughts racing through your mind as you wondered what to do.

you thought that severus would get over lily, but you were very wrong; by his fifth year, he still liked her.

everything changed for the worse during that year, though.

you and severus were sitting down by the lake one afternoon, practicing spells with each other. lily was taking a test for her divination class, so she was unable to join the two of you.

you were in your second year now and were at the top of your class, so you helped him with the more challenging spells.

"snape!" a familiar voice called across the lawn. you froze, turning around to see james potter approaching with his gang of friends. severus instantly stood up, drawing his wand.

"don't worry, i got this," you hastily told him as you stood up. severus shook his head but you insisted that you were fine, huffing loudly as you pointed your wand at james, watching him approach.

"expelliarmus!" james suddenly shouted, catching you and severus by surprise. you watched as both your wand and severus' wand flew from your hands, the two of you exchanging panicked looks.

james then flicked his wand and severus was suddenly floating up into the air. "you asshole!" you fumed at james, rushing towards him with your fists bared. your wand was halfway across the lawn, so you decided that a nice, swift punch to his nose would teach him a lesson. before you could slam your fist into his nose, you heard a shout of "everte statum!" before you were sent flying backwards.

you landed hard on your back, wincing as you frantically reached around for your wand. you watched in horror as james sent severus higher and higher into the air.

"who wants to see me take snivelly's trousers off!?" james guffawed as his friends cheered and hollered behind him.

"james potter!!" a shrill voice echoed from across the lawn. you looked up to see lily running over to the scene, her red locks flying behind her in the wind.

"oh, you've come to watch the show, haven't you?" james smirked as severus struggled above him. "go out with me and i'll let snivellus down."

you tightly grabbed your wand and pointed it at james, shouting out the same spell that had sent you flying backwards.

james went flying into his group of friends, tumbling down the lawn. severus fell to the ground, letting out a cry of pain as he cradled his wrist. lily made it over to him before you could, trying to help him up.

severus sat up slightly, coldly looking up at her before he spat, "i don't need help from filthy little mudbloods like you."

lily gasped and backed away. your eyes widened, watching as james rejoined the scene, a slight limp in his step. to your shock, lily quickly walked over to james, a sheer look of betrayal and anger on her face.

"see you later, snivellus," she pompously said before walking away with james and his friends.

severus laid back down with a sob and you rushed over to him, looking down at him with great concern.

"oh my goodness, are you okay!?" you worriedly asked him.

"no," he sniffled as you helped him sit up. he was crying and he quickly wiped his tears away, his cheeks red and his hands trembling.

"why did you call lily that?" you then asked him, surprised that he would say such an awful thing.

"i-i didn't mean it!" he cried as he rubbed his sore arms and legs. "i was angry and humiliated by james and it just slipped out! lily is never going to love me now, i'm a fool."

you sighed and gently picked a few leaves and pieces of grass from severus' hair, mumbling to him, "you have to go apologize to her, sev."

"i know, but i can't. not when james is around," he sighed as he tearfully looked at you. "do you think lily will ever love me now that i've done this?"

you felt a prick of annoyance and jealousy in your heart; you still wanted severus to like you, but he was so deadset on chasing lily.

"i don't know, sev…" you trailed off. severus sighed and hugged his knees to his chest, burying his face in them. "i don't know if she'll ever love you now," you carefully added.

severus' head shot up and he narrowed his eyes at you, and you stupidly decided to continue.

"you called her the worst of names for a muggle born wizard. i don't- don't think there would be a way of ever coming back from that, especially since she ran off with james right after you called her that," you carefully explained.

"are you saying that i'll never have a chance with lily, y/n?" severus defensively asked you.

"i- fuck," you sighed, rubbing your temples. "it's just that lily isn't ever going to love you, severus! i'm the one who loves you!" you finally burst.

severus' mouth fell open and he shakily stood up, staring at you in disbelief before he quickly walked away.

that was the last time you ever spoke to severus.

you and him drifted apart and you never spoke to lily again. you made new friends and flourished at hogwarts, earning top marks every year and becoming captain of the ravenclaw quidditch team. you also ended up earning the title of prefect and eventually head girl later on.

as happy as you were, you still regretted bursting out on severus.

you heard rumors of him getting heavily involved in the dark arts and how he was a death eater in the making. you were shocked at the news and made it an extra point to avoid taking the same corridors as him to class.

you carried your guilt with you throughout the rest of your years at hogwarts, and you hoped that one day you and severus could get along again. you two were once very close and you craved that bond with him again.

your only hope was that he'd forgive you.

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chapter one

september 1st, 1994

years after you graduated from hogwarts, you were still bothered by what you had done.

you wrote a letter to severus one day, sincerely apologizing and hoping that he could forgive you. you sent the letter to his home in spinner's end, hoping that he was still living there.

you didn't hear from him for months and became convinced that he hated you, until one day you received a letter back. in the letter, he stated that he had forgiven you and missed you, hoping that you two could someday rekindle your friendship and keep your falling out where it belonged - in the past. he also added that he had defected from the death eaters and that lily was dead.

you were shocked to find out that lily was dead; you had recently heard about harry potter, the boy who lived, yet had no idea that lily was his mother.

you wrote him back and told him all about how much you've missed him and how you'd be teaching at hogwarts next fall. to your utter surprise and delight, you found out that he was the potions professor there. this would finally be your chance to reunite with your best friend after so long, and although you lost your feelings for him, you still greatly cared for him.

you stayed in contact with severus in the months leading up to your arrival at hogwarts, you were now finally starting your first day as the new defense against the dark arts professor. you wanted to help put an end to the pureblood supremacy and the tragedies that dark magic has caused over the years, and you knew that taking up this position would ensure you and your students with the skills needed to defend yourselves.

you were glad to know that snape had defected from the death eaters and you wholeheartedly accepted that side of him; you were raised to not judge others based on their mistakes and pasts.

you walked into the great hall ten minutes before the start of term feast to mingle with your fellow professors.

professor dumbledore had informed you ahead of time that the defense against the dark arts teaching position was cursed and that you'd only be able to teach for a year, so you wanted to make the most of your time here.

the large wooden doors of the great hall suddenly opened, and you looked over to see more professors walking in, brightly chatting and laughing with each other.

the last one to walk in was snape, dressed in all black and his hair still long, and he froze when he saw you.

"excuse me," you said to professor mcgonagall as you wrapped up your conversation with her, quickly walking over to snape as a smile began to tug at your lips. your walk turned into more of a sprint and you flung yourself into snape's arms, shock coursing through your body as you instantly recognized the familiar warmth of his embrace. you held onto him tightly, letting out a shuddering breath before you began to cry.

"oh, severus," you quietly said as you looked up at him with watery eyes. "i've missed you so much, i-" you cried more, unable to finish your sentence.

snape gently hushed you, giving your frame a gentle squeeze as he whispered, "i missed you too, y/n."

he looked around to see the other professors curiously watching you and snape embrace, but he paid no mind to them, now focusing on the feeling of tears rolling down his cheeks.

"it's been way too long," you mumbled into his chest. "i can't believe we've finally reunited."

snape didn't say anything, humming softly as he held you. his heart pounded in his chest as he became overwhelmed with emotion, nuzzling his face into your air to stifle his sobs.

"sev," you softly said, his nickname feeling familiar on your tongue like it belonged there, which to you it certainly did. "please don't cry too much."

"i'll try my best," he chuckled as he looked down at you, fully taking in your appearance now. "you look…different," he slowly added. honestly, he thought that you looked beautiful. you were taller now yet still a bit shorter than him, and his attire was a stark contrast to yours; snape always wore dark colors, mostly black and sometimes a dark gray, while you opted for more pastel and soft colors. you were wearing pastel blue robes and a white headband, your features decorated with soft makeup.

you laughed, wiping your eyes as you asked him, "is that a bad thing?"

"no! it's not," snape instantly answered. "it's just that the last time i saw you, you were twelve, so you look quite different now."

you nodded, just now realizing how long ago that was. "yes, it's been too long, sev." his nickname felt familiar on your tongue like it belonged there, which it certainly did.

"it sure has been," snape pleasantly agreed with a smile.

a wave of sadness and longing suddenly crashed over you and you cried only harder, letting out more sobs. snape was startled, breaking the hug to look at you.

"what's wrong? what happened?" he worriedly questioned you.

"i just missed you so much," you tearfully told him. "i was honestly miserable without you. i tormented myself over lashing out on you and didn't forgive myself for it until only recently. i felt like a horrible person."

snape sympathetically patted your arm before he gently pulled you back in for another hug, rubbing your back as he mumbled, "i missed you too, y/n. i can't explain how grateful i am to see you again, and i hope that we can rebuild our friendship."

you looked up at him to see that his eyes were still watering; the last time you saw snape cry was after he had called lily a mudblood.

"we will," you confidently told him with a smile. "no matter what happens, we'll stick by each other this time."

snape nodded in agreement, humming softly before he broke the hug. "now, before the other professors see me crying," he said as he quickly wiped his eyes. "how have you been, besides miserable?"

you inhaled a shaky breath and wearily smiled up at him as the two of you began to walk towards the head table at the front of the great hall.

"i've been quite busy, actually. i recently completed auror training at the ministry of magic. the minister told me he'd have the position ready for me after i leave hogwarts," you proudly told snape. "i was torn between becoming a full time auror or a professor and i told the minister this, and he allowed me to take up the position of defense against the dark arts professor since he said that hogwarts hasn't seen a good and reliable professor in years."

"an auror? that suits you quite well," snape commented. "you've always been so passionate about fighting for what's right and protecting others."

you grinned, taking your seat at the head table. snape instantly sat down next to you and you continued the conversation, "what about you sev, how have you been?"

"i've been alright, i suppose. a lot of things have happened that i'm not quite ready to tell you about yet," he told you, lowering his voice. "but i can assure you that i'm not in any sort of danger, considering my past."

"that's good, because i will not hesitate to hex someone who dares to mess with you," you seriously said as snape gave you a crooked smile

"the students will be entering in a few moments," dumbledore announced to you and your fellow professors. "tonight is a special night, so please listen closely to my announcements."

"what does he mean?" you asked snape as the doors to the great hall opened and a bustle of students came in.

"you didn't hear? the triwizard tournament is taking place at hogwarts this year," snape replied.

you've heard of the triwizard tournament before yet had no idea that it was happening at hogwarts this year, so you were excited to witness it first hand.

"good evening!" dumbledore cheerfully announced as the students took their seats and the first years nervously got in line to be sorted into their houses. "before we get started tonight, the first years must be sorted into their houses."

you fondly watched the first years be sorted into their houses, cheering extra loudly for those who were sorted into ravenclaw. snape merely clapped, nodding at a few of the newly inducted slytherins.

once the sorting ceremony was over, dumbledore continued with his announcements.

"first things first, i'd like to introduce your new defense against the dark arts professor, professor y/l/n!" he declared. you stood up from your seat, grinning at the students and the other professors. you caught snape's eye and your grin widened before you sat back down, smoothing out your robes.

"this year, hogwarts will be hosting two guest schools for the triwizard tournament!" dumbledore continued. "they are beauxbatons and durmstrang!"

the doors opened again to reveal a group of young ladies dressed in pastel blue dresses and hats. they pranced their way into the great hall, a tall lady following behind them.

a lot of the male students whistled and hollered at them, especially those from the slytherin table. snape gave the slytherins a distasteful look, shaking his head.

followed by the ladies were a group of tough, surly looking men dressed in fur coats and dark uniforms. behind them was an unpleasant looking man with gruff features. he wore a long, white coat and a black fur hat. his eyes zeroed in on snape and snape scowled, looking away.

you suspiciously stared at the man but your attention was drawn away from him when one of the durmstrang students suddenly cast a phoenix made out of fire. the students gasped and cheered, all eyes on the man as he went up to dumbledore and hugged him.

"who is that?" you whispered to snape as you watched the two men embrace.

"igor karkaroff," snape grumbled. "he's a terribly vile person."

you frowned, watching karkaroff converse with dumbledore.

"he better not try to start something with you, sev," you told snape in a hushed voice. "i will not hesitate to fight him."

"i can handle him myself, thank you," snape plainly replied as you sighed.

you knew that snape could be stubborn sometimes and knew that he wanted to come off as strong and independent, but that wouldn't ever stop you from defending him.

"as part of the triwizard tournament, three students will compete head to head in a series of various, difficult tasks," dumbledore said. "the goblet of fire-" he pointed to the large goblet sitting near him "-will be where students who wish to participate shall place their names. however, only students aged 17 and older are allowed to participate."

the students gasped and began to loudly boo dumbledore's words. snape rolled his eyes, peering into his empty wine glass and frowning.

"silence!!" dumbledore shouted. the students quickly quieted down, allowing dumbledore to continue speaking.

"these rules must be followed. an age line will be drawn around thr goblet to prevent anyone who is underage from putting their name into the goblet," dumbledore sternly said.

the students still seemed to disagree with the rules dumbledore that had put in place, judging by the disgruntled looks on their faxes.

once the feast was over, you and snape headed out of the great hall and to your rooms.

"i'll see you tomorrow," you told snape as you gazed down at him from the grand staircase; your room was up in ravenclaw tower while snape's was in the dungeons.

snape softly nodded, giving you a small smile before he walked away, his cloak dramatically flowing behind him.

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chapter two

you taught your very first class the next day; it was a group of fourth year gryffindors and slytherins.

harry potter was in your class, along with his two friends hermione granger and ron weasley. they were well behaved students and quite intelligent as well.

"you seem discombobulated, mr. weasley? is everything alright?" you asked the ginger haired boy as he shakily sat down at his desk, a distressed look on his face.

"professor snape is a nightmare," ron confessed to you. "i just had his class before this one. he smacked me over the head for incorrectly making a potion."

you frowned; you didn't like the sound of snape's behavior at all and made a mental note to talk to him about it.

"i'm sorry he did that, mr. weasley. i will talk to him about his behavior," you reassured him.

"don't! it's fine!" ron worriedly pleaded you. "i doubt he'd listen anyways, especially not to someone who has the position that he wants."

you raised an eyebrow at ron. "what do you mean by that?"

"snape's always wanted to teach the dark arts. i'm surprised he didn't give you a dirty look at dinner the other night. in fact, i think i saw you two chatting," ron wearily explained.

"snape and i have some history together. we went to hogwarts together and have recently reconnected with each other," you replied. "yet i had no idea that he wanted my position."

"of course he does. everyone knows that he’s always wanted to teach the dark arts," hermione piped in.

you slowly nodded, remembering how you had heard all of the rumors about snape becoming involved in the dark arts. you never thought that he'd want to be a professor, though; you'd always pictured him doing more hands on work like potions, like he was now, considering he was at the top of his potions class in hogwarts.

"well, i'm still going to talk to professor snape about his behavior," you firmly told ron. "anyways, let's get started now, shall we? please open your textbooks to chapter one, page 7."

the lesson went relatively well; draco malfoy shot some snarky comments at harry a few times and you'd have to put him in his place, but other than that, everything was fine.

after class, you had a ten minute break before you'd be seeing the fifth years. you headed down to the dungeons, greeting students as they passed by you on their way to their classes.

you approached snape's classroom and saw that the door was closed. you gently knocked, hearing snape drawl, "who is it?"

"y/n," you replied. the door opened moments later and you were hit with the strong yet pleasant smell of boom berries. snape looked down at you, his lips curling up into a smile.

"what is it that i can help you with, y/n?" he quietly asked you.

"oh, i just want to talk to you about something. may i come in?"

snape hesitated for a moment before letting you in, leaving the door slightly ajar behind you in order to clear out the smell of the boom berries. his classroom was dark, several shelves lining the walls. each shelf held glass containers filled with some sort of strange item, like animal flesh or seaweed.

"i had an interesting conversation with mr. ron weasley earlier," you carefully started.

snape watched you with an unreadable expression, leaning against his desk as he crossed his arms over his chest.

you continued, "he told me that you haven't been quite nice during your potions lesson. is that true, severus?"

snape curled his lip, unfolding his arms and sighing. "but he was-"

"i understand that you may get frustrated with your students, but that is no excuse to treat them poorly," you firmly cut him off. "i know that you're better than that."

"you don't understand what i have to deal with, y/n," snape groaned. "all of my students are dunderheads and-"

"sev," you softly said. "don't make excuses for your behavior. you were bullied before, so don't be a bully to your students."

snape stiffened, raising his eyebrows. he crossed his arms over his chest again and hung his head.

you gave him a sympathetic look and slowly approached him, gently placing a hand on his arm. snape's head shot up and he visibly relaxed, yet only slightly.

"don't be so hard on yourself about this, okay? i just- just don't want your students to feel what you felt when you were being bullied," you advised him.

unbeknownst to you, harry was outside the door, about to come in when he heard you and snape talking.

he raised his eyebrows, pressing his ear to the door as he listened carefully.

"i don't know what's wrong with me," snape blankly replied.

"nothing is wrong with you, i pro-" you started to say.

"but you implied that i was a bully," he snapped. you lowered your hand from his arm and took a step back.

"that's not what i meant. i'm trying to persuade you away from becoming one," you quickly explained.

snape brushed past you, his cloak whipping around his slender figure. "i know what's best for me, y/n," he curtly said.

"if you do, then why won't you listen to me?" you challenged him.

snape froze, biting his lip and then frowning. "how do you know what's best for me?" he retorted.

"because i've helped you numerous times before and every time i have, something positive has come out of it. i- i care about you a lot, sev. you mean a lot to me, even after all of these years and the time we spent apart. i don't want you to become something that i know you're not," you truthfully said as you looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

harry's eyes widened, leaning further against the door. the door suddenly swung open and harry fell to the floor of the potions classroom.

yours and snape's heads whipped towards the door, seeing harry laying on the floor with a horrified look on his face.

snape instantly strode over to harry and picked him up by the back of his robes, sneering at him as he spat, "what exactly are you doing here in my classroom, mr. potter? were you eavesdropping outside of the door?"

"professor-" harry started to explain, looking over at you with panic on his face. "i- i was just coming to ask you a question about the homework."

snape narrowed his eyes at him, easily reading harry's thoughts and concluding that harry had indeed been eavesdropping; it was all that harry was thinking about at that moment.

"ten points from gryffindor, mr. potter, for not keeping your nose in your own business," snape spat, letting go of harry's robes. harry dropped to the floor, nearly losing his balance. "get. out."

harry scrambled out of the classroom, nearly tripping on his way out. snape cursed under his breath and then looked over at you, his cheeks flushing.

"that was a justified punishment," you told him. "i wonder how much harry heard…"

"whatever he heard, he better not go around blabbing it to his friends," snape grumbled. "our business is our business, not potter's."

you grinned at snape and said, "i agree. now, if you excuse me, i'll be returning to my class now."

you went to leave but before you exited his classroom, you turned around and said to snape, "there's nothing wrong with you, okay? just remember that."

snape smiled slightly, nodding as he watched you leave before he closed the door.

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chapter three

you found yourself spending a lot more time with snape than you had imagined, yet you were greatly enjoying it.

snape's attitude always changed when he was around you; he'd laugh and smile and even crack a few jokes. around others, he was gloomy and looked just about ready to jump in front of the hogwarts express.

snape had just missed you so much and he was just to grateful to have someone as tender and loving as you back in his life.

you and him were sat down by the lake one day, reminiscing on all of the positive memories that you two shared, purposefully leaving out the negative things.

"remember when i nearly fell off the stairs in my second year?" you laughed.

"i thought we were only supposed to be talking about positive memories."

"but it was funny!" you insisted as snape rolled his eyes.

"you have a strange sense of humor," he told you in a teasing manner.

"that's what makes me unique," you proudly said. "you know, i miss our days as kids. i especially miss the days we'd race in the courtyard to see who would get to play gobstones first."

"I'd always beat you," snape smugly said. you laughed and shook your head, replying, "not always. i beat you o couple of times before."

"whatever you say, y/n," snape chuckled as he picked a lily from the grass, holding it between his thumb and forefinger. "i miss lily," he softly added.

you sympathetically patted his hand and nodded. "to be honest, i miss her too. the three of us had fun together while our friendship lasted, wouldn't you say?"

snape quickly nodded in agreement. "yes, we did. things were just a lot more fun and enjoyable as children. growing up and maturing too quickly really does something to a person."

"i know how it feels. after hogwarts, i was thrust into a reality that i wasn't exactly prepared for. as i grew older, though, i began to love life and see that there will always be hope and happiness waiting for me when i need it."

snape smiled and carefully put the lily down back into the grass, laying it next to the other flowers. "you're quite the intellectual, i must say. some people would say your grand optimism is overwhelming, but i think it's refreshing, considering i've been surrounded by nothing but negativity for the past few years."

"who exactly would say that?" you curiously asked snape.

"probably filch," snape said, referring to the grumpy old hogwarts caretaker.

you laughed loudly, leaning your head against the very same tree you and snape sat under so many times in the past. "i'm glad my optimistic outlook on life makes you feel better, though. it's not always easy to see the positive in the negative."

snape contently sighed and leaned his head against the tree as well, the two of you looking up at the sky and watching the clouds.

"that one looks like my patronus," you said as you pointed up at a cloud that resembled a cat's head.

"a cat?" snape asked as you nodded.

"a tonkinese cat, to be exact," you happily explained. "i've only ever cast it during auror training when we were taught how to fight off dementors."

"mine is a doe, yet i don't see any doe shaped clouds, unfortunately," snape said with a frown as he carefully examined each cloud.

"a doe? that's cute."

"yes, it's the same as lily's."

you nodded, figuring that the doe represented his love for lily. you knew just how deeply snape loved lily and you felt sorry for him that he had to lose her in such a tragic way.

"my father's patronus is a calico cat," you added. "what's ironic is that he's allergic to cats and so am i."

snape laughed at that, grinning at you as he said, "at least your patronus won't trigger your allergies."

you nodded and grinned back at him before the two of you sat in comfortable silence, admiring the sky together.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

chapter four

you struggled keeping your students focused in class, considering that they were all so excited for the upcoming triwizard tournament.

all of their focus went straight out the window when harry's name somehow ended up in the goblet of fire.

you found yourself in a room with the other professors after the incident, watching as dumbledore roughly grabbed harry and angrily asked him, "harry, did you put your name in the goblet of fire??"

"no sir!" harry gasped. "i swear that i didn't! i don't know who did!"

"professor dumbledore, i think that we should take a logical approach to this situation instead of simply accusing harry of putting his name in the goblet of fire," you meekly told dumbledore.

dumbledore slowly turned to face you, a displeased look on his face.

snape loudly cleared his throat and said, "i agree with professor y/l/n. any illogical approaches will only prove to be insufficient."

everyone in the room immediately looked over at snape, surprised to see that he was defending harry and agreeing with a fellow professor.

"very well then," dumbledore said with a resigned sigh. "i will open up an investigation on this matter. however, even if we find out who really put his name in the goblet of fire, harry will still need to participate in the tournament. the rules cannot be broken."

"that's perfectly logical," snape sarcastically mumbled, only loud enough for you to hear. you let a giggle slip and masked it with a cough.

"the tournament is extremely dangerous, albus. is there any other way to resolve this issue?" professor mcgonagall nervously asked dumbledore.

"i'm afraid not, minerva. harry will just have to greatly prepare for the tournament," dumbledore said as he looked over at harry. "he must improve and use all of his physical and mental strength for the tasks ahead."

harry gulped and nervously looked over at you and snape with pleading eyes, almost like he was asking you two for a way out of this.

the professors began to clear the room and before harry could leave, you stopped him.

"harry, if you need any help at all, my door is always open," you kindly told him. "i know how scary this must feel."

"thanks, professor," harry said, almost in a daze as he slowly left the room.

"dumbledore wants to follow the rules when rules are meant to be broken," snape quietly commented as you and him left.

"rules are meant to be followed, actually, but in this case it would've been nice if they had been broken," you sighed.

snape looked down at you with that signature smile/smirk combo of his. "you do know that you don't always have to follow the rules, right?"

"i'd prefer to keep my morals in check, thanks," you laughed.

"even when we were in school together you were terrified of even accidentally breaking a rule. it was quite…." snape trailed off, his voice growing quiet at the end of his sentence.

"quite what?" you curiously asked him.

snape's lips moved but no sound came out, and you couldn't quite read his lips.

"sev?"

"endearing," snape finally said, his cheeks as red as the robes of the gryffindor student who was walking in front of you two.

your heart swelled at his words and you looked away to hide your quickly reddening face. endearing. the man who appeared stoic and cold, and who you just happened to used to have a crush on, had just called you endearing.

"thank you," you breathed, awkwardly clearing your throat afterwards. "i'll see you at dinner tonight."

"of course," snape said with a nod. "i'll see you."

you practically ran to your room after that, passing by the ravenclaw common room and a group of ravenclaw students standing around and laughing.

you tore open the door to your office, closing it shut behind you before heading across the room to another door that led to your room.

you flung yourself onto your bed and screamed into your pillow for a good ten seconds before rolling onto your back, staring up at the ceiling. your tawny owll, gizmo, flew in just then through the open window next to your bed. he dropped an envelope onto your chest and hooted at you before settling onto his perch that sat by your dresser.

you picked up the envelope, seeing that it was from your dad, who worked as head seer in the department of mysteries at the ministry of magic.

you quickly opened it, pulling out the letter and reading it.

dear y/n,

i am writing to inform you that a fellow seer at the ministry has informed me that dark times are ahead of us, yet the when, where, and who of this situation are unclear at this time. in order to not cause a panic, please withhold this information from others until further notice. i know cornelius fudge won't believe me, but i trust you and know you'll keep this secret safe as you deserve to know it.

thank you for your cooperation.

your heart sank and you folded the letter, placing it back inside the envelope before putting it on your nightstand. your thoughts instantly went to voldemort; who else could the seer have been prophesying about?

you were tempted to inform dumbledore of this news, considering that it would be best for him to know and prepare extra safety measures for hogwarts, but you knew that you couldn't.

you already knew that you'd feel horrible for keeping such a secret from those around you, but you also didn't want to disobey your dad. you knew that bringing this to the attention of others would indeed cause panic, and when people are panicking, they make irrational decisions based on their emotions.

you hopelessly looked over at gizmo, who ruffled his feathers and hooted at you.

"you're lucky that you're not a human," you sighed to your owl as you gently pet him. "you don't have to deal with all of these things. you just nap and fly around."

gizmo lovingly nibbled on your finger and you smiled, petting him once more before getting ready for dinner.

the great hall buzzed with chatter of harry's name being in the goblet of fire. harry was clearly distressed and hardly touched his food. you gave him a sympathetic look from where you sat before turning over to look at snape, whose eyes were carefully watching karkaroff.

"why are you staring at karkaroff?" you asked snape after forking roasted potatoes into your mouth, savoring the succulent flavors on your tongue.

"i have a feeling that he's going to try to do something," snape lowly replied. "like what?" you curiously asked him.

snape deeply inhaled and shook his head. "i can't tell you, nor am i ready to tell you."

you frowned and nodded; you obviously weren't going to pressure snape into telling you, yet you couldn't help but be curious.

"how were your classes today?" you asked snape, taking a sip of your wine.

"they were okay. a first year hufflepuff melted their cauldron today. i couldn't help but give them detention," snape bitterly replied. "but i wasn't too harsh with them, so that's a step in the right direction."

"i'm proud of you for trying," you sweetly told snape. snape's eyes and expression softened; no one has ever told him that they're proud of him, and his heart rate began to accelerate after hearing your words. he smiled to himself and tried to ignore the heat rising in his body.

"you okay?" you asked snape, noticing how dazed he suddenly seemed.

snape quickly nodded and shoved a forkful of food into his mouth, choking afterwards. you patted his back, helping snape regain his breathing. snape's mind was racing; he's always had a soft spot for you, so you telling him that you're proud of him had him over the moon. although he's always been one to mask his emotions, he couldn't stop the smile that appeared on his face.

you and snape quietly chatted with each other about your days, feeling the lingering eyes of a few professors on the two of you. snape shot them a dirty look and they quickly looked away, yet they began to whisper to each other.

"if only we could take points from professors for being nosy," you laughed as you finished up your dinner. "i don't know why they were staring at us so much."

"they have nothing better to do," snape said as he rolled his eyes. "anyways, what do you think the first task in the tournament will be?"

"hopefully something not too intense. i'm really worried about harry," you nervously confessed.

"all of the tasks will most likely be intense. students have gone missing or been injured in the tournament before, or worse, died," snape replied.

you bit your lip and whined quietly; the thought of hogwarts losing a student made you feel sick to your stomach.

after dinner, you and snape lingered in the corridor for a bit, talking and laughing quietly with each other.

snape felt light and calm; your good heart was infectious, and it was beginning to slowly rub off on him.

as he walked to his room that night, he thought back to that day years ago by the lake when you had told him that you loved him.

no one has ever loved snape before in his entire life and he suddenly realized that he had taken your love for granted.

whether your love for him was platonic or romantic, snape didn't know, but he did not want to lose it or lose you again. in fact, he wanted to grow even closer to you and deepen the close bond that you two have always had, despite the years of being apart from each other.

you didn't know it, but snape's gratitude for you was overflowing out of his heart at this point.

although you and him had only been reunited for a few days, it felt longer.

it truly felt like you and him had never said goodbye to each other in the first place.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

chapter five

a week before the first task was scheduled to begin, the third year and older students went to hogsmeade over the weekend. you and snape had been asked to chaperone, so you and him bundled up in your warmest clothing and headed out.

"you'll be losing your house fifteen points if you keep up with those antics of yours, weasleys!" snape scowled at the fred and george, who were trying to drop chocolate frogs down the coat of a fourth year. the twins rolled their eyes and pretended to put the frogs away, yet you saw them take them out again a few minutes later, prompting snape to swiftly take fifteen points from gryffindor.

"they don't act up at all in my class," you laughed to snape.

"must be nice," snape sighed as you and him walked behind the students, who were all happily chattering with each other as they made their way into the different shops in the village. "they only know how to cause trouble."

"if i ever caused trouble like that, i would've been grounded. my parents never tolerated any sort of misbehavior on my part," you told snape as you and him entered the three broomsticks to escape the cold. you were instantly hit with the sweet, comforting smells of butterbeer and freshly baked goods, inhaling deeply as you smiled.

"so you've always been a good girl, then?" snape asked as you and him sat in a booth in the corner of the restaurant near the fireplace.

you knew that snape meant it with innocent intent, yet his question had your cheeks feeling as hot as the fireplace looked.

"yes, i have been. i've grown to not tolerate misbehavior either," you quickly replied as a tall, blue haired waiter approached your table.

"good morning, what would you two like?" the waiter asked as he pushed his horn rimmed glasses up on his nose.

"can i have a medium butterbeer and a slice of apple pie, please?" you asked, surprised when snape ordered a plain black coffee.

"do you not like any sugar or creamer in your coffee?," you asked snape.

"my tastes buds can only tolerate black coffee," he simply said. "besides, i need something to get me moving."

you nodded, saying, "i'll share my apple pie with you, if you'd like."

"apple pie with black coffee sounds like an interesting combination, especially because one thing is bitter and the other is sweet," snape said, smiling slightly. "i'll try it."

"i miss coming to hogsmeade as a student," you sighed as you rested your chin on your palm. "we never went together, did we?"

snape shook his head. "no. i only went once, though. i didn't really like it. my anxiety was flaring up the whole time," he sadly explained. "i feel okay right now, though."

"i'm glad you're feeling okay," you smiled; snape struggled a lot with anxiety, something he told you about after you had found him in the middle of an anxiety attack in a dead end corridor. it had occured a few weeks before you and snape had your falling out. "i know how much your anxiety has affected you."

"it's just another thing i have to deal with," he said, pursing his lips. "along with my incompetent stude-"

"severus."

"what, y/n?"

"they aren't incompetent," you told him with a small nudge to his shoulder as snape glared at you.

"whatever you say," he mumbled as he drummed his fingers on the table.

your food and drinks arrived a few minutes later and snape reluctantly drank his coffee after putting a piece of pie into his mouth.

he choked and coughed, shaking his head as he said. "that was a bad idea."

"really? now i want to try it," you mischievously said as you grabbed his class from him and wiped the rim of it with a napkin.

"i just said it was a bad idea. why would you want to…" snape's voice grew quiet as he watched you consume the coffee and apple pie with ease, not being phased by the strongly contrasting flavors at all.

"see? that wasn't so bad," you told him, taking a sip of your butterbeer afterwards.

snape shook his head again, stunned by your antics. "now i want butterbeer," he sighed as he called the waiter over.

you smirked, drinking your butterbeer as you looked around the restaurant. there were a handful of students there, a few of them looking over their shoulders at where you and snape sat before turning back to their table and whispering to each other.

you knew exactly why everyone was whispering; they were most likely shocked that someone was getting along with snape because of his reputation and demeanor, but all the whispering and staring was making you uncomfortable.

"can we go after this?" you whispered to snape once he had received his drink. "people are staring."

"for each minute they stare equals one point that i'll take from their house," snape announced rather loudly, which prompted the students sitting nearby to quickly stand up and leave.

you chuckled as snape asked, "still want to go?"

"yes, if you don't mind. i want to go to honeydukes."

snape agreed and you and him left a few minutes later, heading across the street to honeydukes which was nearly bursting with shoppers.

"i'm just going to get dark chocolate and then go stand in the corner," snape awkwardly said as he carefully made his way through the crowd of customers.

you laughed and followed him, picking up some caramel cobwebs and bertie bott's every flavor beans on the way.

snape did a double take when he saw an edible dark mark lollipop on one of the display shelves, quickly looking around to make sure you weren't nearby. you were on the other side of the aisle, chatting with one of your students about the selection of sweets.

snape frowned at the lollipop and then quickly walked away from it, pushing memories of his death eater days out of his head. he grabbed a small box of dark chocolates to suffice.

when he was a death eater, he wasn't an enthusiastic one whatsoever; he had just been weak and vulnerable and wanted to find a group of people who'd accept him, but he started to get involved with the wrong people which ultimately strained the relationships he had with you and lily at the time.

snape stood in the corner of the store and watched everyone in the shop laughing and talking with each other, feeling his eyes continuously stray over to where you stood.

when you were both children, snape became very protective of you and even considered you to be like a little sister to him. he could feel his protective instincts coming to life once again as he watched you, almost like he was expecting danger to come swooping in at any moment.

"ready to go?" your voice suddenly asked, starling snape out of his thoughts. he must've looked away for half a second because suddenly you were at his side.

he quickly nodded and the two of you went to the register to pay. as you and him left, it had begun to snow.

"the snow is beautiful," you marveled as you watched the snow gradually accumulate on the buildings and trees. "i love this time of year."

"this weather gives me an excuse to lock myself up in my room all day and read by the fireplace," snape said as he opened his box of chocolates, unwrapping one and putting it into his mouth.

"sounds like my typical day," you beamed at him as you and him walked through the snow covered village. in the distance stood the infamous shrieking shack, the sight alone giving you the chills.

snape looked at it too, a deep sigh passing his lips as a wave of memories washed over him; he clearly remembered when he had been led in there as a prank by sirius black. in the shack, snape came face to face with remus lupin in the middle of transforming into a werewolf.

"are you alright? you look upset," you observed, studying snape's facial expressions.

"i'm alright. no need to worry about me," he said with a pained smile. "let's just keep on walking."

you nodded and you and snape continued your stroll through hogsmeade, eating your sweets and letting the snow embrace your figures.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

chapter six

the first task was stealing a golden egg protected by a dragon.

harry came to your classroom a few times before the first task for emotional support, which you gladly gave him. you wished him the best of luck before he joined the other students in a tent outside of the stadium where the task was being held.

you joined snape and the other professors and students in the stands, feeling so nervous that you might pass out.

"this is inhumane," you mumbled as you watched the first dragon struggle against the chains it was secured to. "that dragon should be out free and living its life."

snape slowly nodded, his eyes flickering over to you for a moment. you were wearing pastel pink robes today, which ironically matched your office decor. you had your hair tied up into small space buns, your ears adorned with small, silver hoop earrings.

snape thought that it was comical how different your aesthetics were; his attire was gloomy while yours was cute. he felt like it perfectly matched your personalities.

the tournament began and you were so jumpy and nervous throughout the whole thing that you found yourself clutching onto snape's arm.

snape looked over at you and awkwardly patted your leg, trying to calm you down.

you couldn't bare to watch when it was harry's turn, jumping every time the dragon growled or roared.

"are you alright, professor y/l/n? would you like to me escort you from the stadium?" professor mcgonagall worriedly asked you from your right.

"i'm fine, minerva. just nervous," you told her with a pained smile, feeling snape's hand suddenly tug at your robes.

you looked over at him and saw that he was looking up at the sky. you followed his line of sight and saw that harry's broomstick was zooming down towards the stadium.

harry instantly jumped onto it when it got close enough, flying around the dragon and dodging its flames. much to everyone's utter shock and horror, the dragon broke loose from the chains and flew out of the stadium, its tail ripping through the canopy that you and the professors sat under.

you screamed and ducked your head into snape's chest, keeping it there until the dragon and harry had flown away from the stadium.

"y/n?" snape softly asked you. you quickly looked up at him, meeting his eyes.

"do you want to leave?" he asked. you instantly shook your head. "i'm okay. i want to make sure that harry gets back in one piece."

a handful of professors and students noticed how quickly you had hidden your face in snape's chest; to them, it was odd that anyone would want to get so physically close to snape.

after many harrowing minutes, harry safely returned and snagged the golden egg, earning an uproar of cheers and applause from the stands.

you congratulated harry and the other competitors on accomplishing the first task; you seriously couldn't have been more proud of them.

you and snape decided to go to his room and unwind after the first task; it induced a lot of anxiety in you and snape didn't want you at the stadium any longer, so he instantly took you to his room after the first task had concluded.

"thank you for caring for me," you told snape as the cup of warm tea that he had brewed for you hovered over to you. snape gently flicked his wand, causing the cup to slowly lower into your open hands.

"you don't have to thank me for that, y/n," snape replied as he began to brew his own tea. "i have never really been cared for before you came into my life. i've always cared for you, though, especially after you started to stick up for me against james," snape continued. he was rambling at this point, but he wanted to make it clear to you that he wasn't this heartless asshole that everyone at hogwarts portrayed him to be. "even after our argument, i continued to care for you since you've always been such a big part of my life.'

snape found it quite easy to express his emotions with you, considering how much you meant to him. sharing his emotions with others, though, was often a tedious and difficult task.

"i care for you a lot too," you happily said. "and love you too, of course."

there it was, the L word again. the word that ruined everything in the first place.

you didn't want to hold back from expressing your love for snape, though. you felt a lot of strong platonic love for him, but you wouldn't be surprised if you one day fell for him again just like you did as a kid.

"it feels good to have someone like you in my life, y/n. it truly does," snape graciously told you. "i know i haven't always been the best person, but i promise you that i am not just my mistakes."

snape could feel his insecurities starting to bottle up and he quickly stopped talking before he trauma dumped all over you.

you smiled and said, "your mistakes do not reflect who you are as a person. everyone makes mistakes. what matters is that we make a conscious effort to learn from them."

snape nodded in agreement, his head feeling fuzzy; he was becoming pleasantly overwhelmed by all of your kind words. he tried not to feel sorry for himself, but growing up with an abusive father and neglectful mother really shaped and changed his perspective on life and himself.

he never thought that someone would actually be able to withstand him and his trauma, but you did, and for that he was grateful for.

"my mom once told me that learning to love and accept all versions of yourself - past and present - can be a life-long process," you told snape, placing your cup down on the coffee table. "she's a muggle therapist, so she's had a lot of clients who have struggled with loving and accepting themselves. she told me that the most important thing is to try, even if it's just a little. even if you try only 5%, it shows that you're strong, because you're willing to look at both the good and bad sides of yourself."

snape was in awe of what you were saying; he had never met someone so wise, mature. and well articulated before. no wonder you were sorted into ravenclaw.

"y/n, that's…" he started to say, at a loss for words.

you laughed quietly and said, "awesome? specular? life changing?"

"all of the above," snape finally said. "i don't know how you manage to put up with me."

"it's easy. behind those dark robes and stoic expression is a warm-hearted, gentle man who i'm lucky to have in my life. you have your faults but so do i, and i will always unconditionally accept you. you deserve that acceptance. you deserve happiness. you've been through too much," you told snape as you stood closer to him, placing a hand on his arm and patting it. "you deserve every ounce of goodness in this world."

snape felt like he could either burst into tears, implode, or both; you were telling him everything that he's always wanted to hear his entire life. your words went straight to his heart, which was already feeling too much all at once. one of the feelings, though, was something that he hadn't felt in a very long time; it was giddiness and a flicker of joy and affection.

"thank you," snape whispered. "i…" he trailed off, too many words at the tip of his tongue. he didn't know how else to word his gratitude, so he just nodded at you.

"of course, sev," you mumbled, sighing happily and collecting your cup, making your way to the conjoined kitchen to wash it.

"i got it," snape quickly said, stopping you. "you go on now, i'll take care of the cups. classes resume in fifteen minutes."

you nodded and thanked him, your gaze lingering on him before you left his room and made your way through the cold, quiet dungeons.

once you had left, snape nearly dropped the cups as his hands were shaking. he felt strangely warm and tingly all over and his heart was racing. he used his wand to levitate the cups towards the sink, his mind buzzing with thoughts of you and what you had told him.

draco malfoy and his two friends, crabbe and goyle, passed you on your way up the stairs, sniggering to each other and whistling at you.

you stopped halfway up the stairs and turned to face them, loudly announcing for everyone nearby to hear, "five points from slytherins."

"for what!?" draco exclaimed. "we weren't doing anything!"

"for catcalling your professor, mr. malfoy," you calmly replied. "go on now, you three."

the three males huffed and rolled their eyes, walking away and shoving a second year slytherin girl as they walked past her.

"another five points!" you shouted, sympathetically patting the girl's shoulder as she quickly walked past you.

you shook your head and rubbed your temples, feeling a headache starting to conjure just from that interaction with draco and his friends.

you didn't see it, but snape had exited his classroom while you were telling off the boys. he roughly grabbed onto the three males and snapped at them for acting so immaturely. he then took ten points from slytherin, totaling twenty points being taken from slytherin in just a few minutes.

snape angrily mumbled to himself as he returned to his room; he was head of slytherin house and expected the members of his house to behave better.

snape knew that you didn't witness him taking more points from slytherin and that bothered him; he was very worried that you'd end up hating him like everyone else did, and he wanted to prove to you that he wasn't as horrible as others perceived him as.

he tried not to worry, but snape was always prone to worrying about every little thing, especially when it concerned him.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

chapter seven

as the weeks passed, you and snape only grew closer. the two of you would spend hours in the library at nighttime, browsing through the restricted section and picking out the most interesting books for each other before heading back to his room to read them.

you and him would also have deep conversations about anything and everything, and snape was always excited to tell you all about his favorite potions and what he was currently brewing. not only did your find his passion for his work fascinating, you also thought it was attractive in a way.

you felt different around snape now, like you were walking on clouds all the time.

even on the weekends, you and him would sometimes go to hogsmeade together for butterbeer that the both of you would sneak back into the castle, just to drink it while you and him sat by the cozy fireplace in his room and read.

all of this time you and snape had been spending together didn't go unoticed, which sparked sudden bouts of rumors from professors and students alike.

"have you seen the way snape is looking at her? i think he fancies her," you heard hermione whisper to harry and ron during one of your lectures.

you blushed, making it seem like you were reviewing something that you had written on the board, but you continued to listen. you felt like a hypocrite for eavesdropping, but this matter did concern you after all.

"snape can feel things? i don't know whether i should be shocked or disgusted," ron mumbled.

"both," harry told ron. "they've been growing closer over the past few weeks."

"imagine them going to the yule ball together! a greasy git dancing with a beautiful, intelligent woman like professor y/l/n," ron dramatically sighed.

the yule ball. you had completely forgotten about the ball and it was happening next week. you were going to attend, of course, yet you were far too nervous to even consider asking snape if he wanted to go with you.

"mr. weasley, can you please tell me the basics of hex-deflection?" you suddenly asked ron as you turned to face him.

ron's eyes widened, panic crossing his face as he had not been paying attention at all.

"blimey, that's- um, well, you see-" ron tried to explain. hermione rolled her eyes and answered for him as harry shook his head.

"thank you, miss granger, but next time i'd like your friend to answer and not be calling his potions professor a greasy git," you said in a clipped tone.

harry laughed and quickly masked it with a dramatic cough, burying his face into his elbow. hermione's eyes widened and the other students jeered "oooo!" as ron's face quickly reddened.

"sorry, professor," ron mumbled as he looked down at his lap in shame.

"i expect better behavior from you, mr. weasley. name calling is not tolerated in my class, let alone outside of it either," you sternly told him.

harry and hermione were exchanging wide eyes glances; your words only further confirmed their speculation that you and snape had something going on.

ron apologized again, which saved him from losing gryffindor five points. you continued with the lesson, feeling slightly on edge for the rest of it.

you had a free period after that lesson and you decided to mark papers during that time. you were marking a particularly lengthy essay when you heard a knock at your classroom door.

"who is it?" you asked, your eyes scanning the run on sentences that the student had written.

"you know," a familiar baritone voice said from the other side of the door.

you immediately stood up, nearly knocking over your ink and quill as you hurried to the door. you opened it and grinned widely upon seeing snape there, letting him in.

"have you heard what everyone is talking about?" snape slowly asked you.

"yes, i obviously have," you laughed. "they're shocked to see that you're getting along with someone who is teaching the class that you've always wanted to teach."

"i was going to tell you that," snape admitted as he picked at his cuticles, a nervous habit of his, but he was especially nervous around you now. "it's unfortunate that you had to hear it from others."

"it's alright. something else more exciting will happen and people will stop talking about our personal lives," you reassured him.

snape silently nodded, taking a look around your classroom. "i remember my very first day here in this class," he reminisced as he slowly ran a hand across one of the desks in the front of the room. you watched the way his long fingers caressed the wood, the sight causing something in your lower stomach and heart to stir.

"do you really?" you breathlessly asked him. snape drew his hand away from the desk and nodded. "yes, it was quite an interesting day. i already knew about most of the hexes and curses, so the other students became…wary of me."

"but you didn't use any of those, right?" you hopefully asked him.

"i did," he reluctantly admitted. "yet i most treasured the ones that i invented myself."

you remembered when snape would tell you all about the spells that he had invented, captivating you as he gave you all of the details about them and how they worked.

"i invented something myself," you proudly said. "while i was training at the ministry, i became fascinated with inventing spells and i actually developed a wizard form of birth control. the spell is quite easy to cast, actually."

"really? a birth control spell?" snape curiously asked you.

you nodded. "yes, i wanted to make things easier for witches who didn't want the stress of well, you know- accidentally getting pregnant."

snape smiled at you and lowly replied, "you're a clever girl, aren't you?"

something inside of you shifted when snape said that, like your brain was short circuiting and your insides were melting.

"i suppose so, yes," you wheezed, your body suddenly feeling very warm. "i mean, i am a ravenclaw. you could've been in ravenclaw too, you know. you're intelligent and created your own spells."

"mm, i feel as if i fit slytherin more," snape shrugged. "although, you are the cleverest ravenclaw that i've ever met."

you absolutely knew that harry and his friends would be having a field day if they heard what snape was saying right now.

"and you're the most ambitious slytherin that i've ever met," you sweetly replied. "do you want to use some of that ambition towards helping me mark these papers?" you motioned towards the pile of papers on your desk.

snape playfully rolled his eyes and agreed, grabbing a chair from a nearby desk and sitting down next to you.

"i had my students write an essay on hex-deflections," you explained to snape as you handed him an essay to look over. "those are very important to know. i'm sure you already know plenty about them."

"i do," snape confirmed with a sly smile. he picked up one of the essays, which belonged to draco.

"mr. malfoy seems to not know the difference between they're, their, and there," snape dryly said as he frowned down at the paper.

you snorted and grabbed your quill, taking off a few points from draco's paper.

"so," snape slowly started as he leaned back in his chair. "the yule ball is coming up."

you nodded, too focused on marking draco's essay to reply.

"are you going?" he asked you, a hint of hope in his voice.

"yes, i am. are you?" you replied, dipping your quill into your ink.

snape nodded. "only because dumbledore wants everyone to mingle," he scowled.

you laughed and said, "so you don't think you'll enjoy it, then?"

"depends," snape simply replied.

"depends on what?" you questioned as you finally looked up at him.

"you'll see," he mysteriously said.

you sighed, knowing well that snape wouldn't tell you. he helped you mark the essays for the rest of the free period before he dramatically left your classroom with an extra swoosh of his cloak.

deep down, you were still hoping that snape would ask you to the ball even though professors didn't usually go in pairs.

at the end of the week, professor mcgonagall led the gryffindor students into a room to tell them the details of the yule ball. she asked you and snape to join in order to monitor the students and make sure that they were paying attention.

"now, who would like to demonstrate a proper ballroom dance?" professor mcgonagall asked after she finished explaining the ball. not a single student answered, all of them avoiding eye contact with mcgonagall.

"professor snape and professor y/l/n!" professor mcgonagall suddenly said, a few laughs coming from the students. "why don't you two come to the center of the room and demonstrate for the students?"

you hadn't even been paying attention half of the time, too busy making sure that the weasley twins weren't goofing off in the corner.

"minerva, i don't think that's-" snape tried to say, but mcgonagall simply waved him off and said, "don't be silly, severus! come now, you too, y/n."

you and snape shared a mutual look of panic and embarrassment as you two awkwardly walked to the center of the room. a student whistled and another chuckled, and you swore you heard the weasley twins say something along the lines of, "i bet this will be snape's first time ever feeling the touch of a woman."

snape scowled at the students who were acting up before he turned to you, his lips pressed into a thin line as he fiddled with his fingers.

"well, go on now!" mcgonagall promptly said, giving the small of your back a push. you stumbled forward into snape's chest, gasping when he steadied you by your waist.

"i'm sorry," you mouthed to snape, apologizing for nothing in particular. snape didn't say anything, simply placing his hand on your waist. you slowly placed your hand on his shoulder and then intertwined your free hand with his.

filch started up the record player, an elegant orchestral piece filling the room. you didn't move at first, too panicked to even comprehend that snape was holding your waist.

snape moved first, gently swaying yours and his bodies. you caught up with him and stumbled a bit, cursing under your breath.

you could barely look at snape as you and him danced, the sound of the music being drowned out by the sound of your heart pounding in your ears.

"are you alright?" snape's deep voice drawled in your ear as he lowered his head slightly. you jumped, nodding quickly.

"your face is very red," snape informed you.

"really? i couldn't tell, even considering how hot my face feels," you sarcastically replied. snape smirked and swayed you again, humming to himself. you finally looked up at him and met his eyes, smiling as you instinctively squeezed his hand.

snape pulled you closer to him, getting lost in the music as he looked down at you. he felt something stirring in his stomach, that familiar, pleasant feeling of butterflies when he was around someone he found to be attractive.

"everyone else grab a partner and join!" mcgonagall suddenly announced, earning groans from the male students and happy gasps from the female students.

you forgot where you even were as you gazed up into snape's eyes, letting the music and the intimacy of this very moment consume you. you could feel the eyes of everyone in the room on you and snape, but you could care less at this point.

you felt safe in snape's arms just like you always have, and you were disappointed when the music stopped.

"good job, everyone!" mcgonagall cheerfully announced. "you'll all do fantastic at the ball!"

the students scurried out of the room, the girls giggling amongst themselves as the boys groaned in annoyance.

"severus and y/n, dumbledore said he'd like to see professors going in pairs this year," mcgonagall casually said as her and filch went to leave. "i'll be surprised if you two don't go with each other."

there was a twinkle in her eye that caught your attention, watching as she smugly smiled before her and filch left.

"you're a good dancer," you suddenly told snape as you and him left.

"as are you," he replied, sticking his hands the pockets of his coat and swallowing thickly. "i'll see you at the yule ball, then?"

you grinned and nodded. "i'll see you."

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

chapter eight

you were racked with nerves the evening of the yule ball.

you asked professors mcgonagall sprout to help you get ready, and they both came readily prepared with makeup and other items.

you hardly saw snape all day since you had been so busy with your lessons, so you were excited to see him tonight.

you had specially bought a dress from diagon alley for the occasion; it was a stunning dark blue dress decorated with silver stars and moons with mesh sleeves. it was floor length and you paired the dress with black pumps.

"you're going to love how you look," professor sprout excitedly told you as you sat in front of a large mirror in her room. your eyes were closed, feeling the softness of a makeup brush tickle your cheekbone.

"you can open your eyes now," mcgonagall said from behind you. you slowly opened your eyes, smiling when you saw your dolled up reflection in the mirror; you had on nude lipstick and warm blush, which both paired nicely with your light brown eyeshadow. your hair had also been done up with a couple of strands nearly framing your face, and the moon-shaped earrings on your wars seemed to glow in the light of the room. you were truly in awe of how amazing you looked.

"severus is going to fall in love when he sees you," professor sprout teased you.

you blushed and shook your head. "don't be a tease, pomona. severus and i are just going as friends," you insisted.

"as friends? severus always looks like he's died and gone to heaven when he's around you," mcgonagall giggled.

you sighed and then thanked the two ladies for helping you get ready. before you could head down to the great hall, mcgonagall exchanted your dress to make the stars and moons twinkle.

you passed by several excited students as you made your way to the great hall, who all complimented you on your attire. you thanked them and then went to search for snape, yet it was hard to spot him at first with the crowd of students standing outside the hall.

you then spotted snape, who was wearing his usual black attire, yet this time it was more formal; he wore his signature high collared coat, black dress pants, and black dress shoes, his clothing perfectly hugging his small waist. his hair was neatly combed as well, parted in the middle in its usual style.

snape's eyes widened when he saw you and you smiled softly at him as you gracefully descended down the grand staircase. a few students stopped talking and very obviously stared at you approaching snape.

"good evening," you greeted snape. "you look quite handsome."

color instantly rose to snape's cheeks as he kept his eyes on your face, mesmerized by how stunning you looked.

"thank you, y/n. you look beautiful," he softly mumbled as he gazed at you. "would you like to go in now?"

you nodded as snape offered his arm which you instantly took. you and him walked into the great hall, which had been completely turned into a winter wonderland. three large snow covered pine trees sat at the front of the room, the tip of the largest one nearly touching the icy ceiling, which had been enchanted to snow. the walls were covered in blue ice, and several large tables were scattered around the room.

"good evening, professors!" hermione cheerfully greeted you and snape as she appeared at the entrance of the great hall with her date, viktor krum. behind her were harry and ron with their dates, the patil twins.

"good evening, miss granger! your dress is lovely," you complimented hermione as you looked at her elegant pink dress. snape smiled a little at hermione and nodded in her direction.

"thank you, yours is as well," she happily replied before she was whisked away by viktor. harry, ron, and the patil twins then passed by you and snape, the girls giggling with each other while harry and ron pointedly stared at you and snape.

"many people look shocked to see us together," you observed as snape escorted you to the front where the other professors were gathered.

"of course they do," snape rolled his eyes. "they never thought that a greasy git like me would appear at the yule ball with a woman."

"you're not a greasy git," you instantly replied. "whoever says that is just jealous."

the corners of snape's lips twitched up into a smile, his hand finding the small of your back and resting there as he guided you through the crowd.

the simple touch had your knees nearly buckling and you forced yourself to remain calm, greeting your fellow professors and the students.

the four triwizard champions then walked in with their dates, conjuring cheers and applause from everyone. they would be dancing first before everyone else would join in.

the four couples took the center floor. professor flitwick began to conduct the orchestra and graceful music filled your ears.

you joyfully watched the couples dance before looking over at snape, who was visibly nervous. he anxiously toyed with the cuffs of his sleeves, tensing up when karkaroff went to stand next to him.

"sev," you whispered to him, drawing his attention towards you. "don't be nervous."

snape briefly nodded, swallowing thickly as he saw mcgonagall and dumbledore join the couples on the dance floor, a handful of students following them.

inhaling a deep breath and then exhaling it, snape rolled his shoulders and then shyly asked you, "shall we dance?"

you eagerly nodded and took his hand, letting him guide you out onto the dance floor. snape instantly put his hand on your waist and the two of you followed the same procedure that you had performed in front of the students and mcgonagall.

no one was paying much attention to their dance partners anymore, instead focusing on you and snape. frankly, they seemed mortified to see snape smiling.

"they're staring again, aren't they?" you sighed to snape as he protectively pulled you closer to him. uncontrollable feelings surged through your body feeling snape so close to you, and goosebumps ran across your skin.

"yes, but they'll stare more in just a moment," snape said before he swiftly lifted you in the air for a moment, perfectly in sync with the other dancers.

you let out a hearty laugh and grinned at snape. snape's arm fully embraced your back, pulling you much closer now. you accidentally stepped on his foot and snape cursed silently as you mumbled countless apologies.

"it's okay," he reassured you with a smile. "just keep dancing."

you nodded and happily moved with the music, your joy practically radiating off of you. never in a million years would you think that you'd be ballroom dancing with snape, but it was already becoming the highlight of your week.

you and snape maintained eye contact with each other throughout the dance, closely holding each other. it felt like the butterflies in your stomach had also traveled to your heart, and you recognized the familiar feeling of an attraction beginning to form. when you felt that you immediately thought, "here we go again," as you momentarily reminisced on the crush you used to have on snape.

there was a sudden, surprising change in the music; heavy and chaotic rock replaced the graceful sounds of the orchestra, and all of the students started screaming in excitement. the change in music pulled you out of your thoughts and you pulled away from snape.

snape rolled his eyes at the music and you giggled, the two of you easing your way out of the pulsing crowd.

"we should go dance somewhere more private," you suggested to snape as you took a swig from a bottle of water.

"sounds lovely," snape pleasantly agreed as you and him exited the chaos of the great hall.

you and snape found yourselves in the courtyard, marveling at how snowflakes delicately painted the trees, shrubs, and carriages.

snape immediately grabbed your waist, almost like it was his favorite thing to do (which to him, it absolutely was, but he wasn't going to tell you that).

yours and snape's laughter echoed through the evening air, the muffled sounds of the rock band inside filling the quietness.

"i really like spending time with you, sevy," you happily sighed as you leaned your head on his chest as he swayed you.

"likewise, y/n," he hummed as he picked a few snowflakes out of your hair.

a sudden feeling of deja vu washed over you when snape did that; it reminded you of when you picked leaves and grass out of his hair after he had fallen to the ground in his fifth year.

you looked up at snape, your lips slightly parted. snape's hands stilled on your waist, not having realized that he had been gently massaging it.

as you looked up at him, you studied his features and realized just how handsome he was. he had a large nose and a sallow face that most people would find unattractive, but you thought those features of his were the most handsome things ever. even his clothing; dark, mysterious, and alluring, only fueled your rekindling attraction for him. not to mention that deep voice as well and his gentleness when he was around you.

snape started to move again, twirling you around so quickly and suddenly that you landed straight onto your back, snape falling on top of you. you winced, a sharp pain radiating through your back for a few moments before it ceased.

"i am so sorry!" snape exclaimed as he gazed down at you, panic written across his face.

"it's okay," you laughed, quieting down when you realized how close you and him were to each other. snape's face was in close proximity to yours and his eyes flickered down to your lips for a moment before he shook his head, standing up and helping you up too.

"snape!" a gruff voice suddenly called from behind you, startling you and snape and pulling the two of you apart.

you turned around to see karkaroff standing there. he menacingly looked over at snape, completely ignoring your presence.

"karkaroff," snape said coldly, his hands falling from your waist. he quickly leaned down to whisper in your ear, "go inside, y/n. i'll see you later, okay?"

you quickly nodded and walked past karkaroff, but instead of going inside, you hid behind a pillar near the courtyard and listened to the conversation between snape and karkaroff. you had a bad feeling about this karkaroff guy and wanted to make sure that he didn't do or say anything to hurt snape.

you heard footsteps nearby and looked to your left to see harry also hiding behind a pillar. you and him looked at each other, your eyes widening simultaneously. you pressed your finger to your lips, nodding at harry before walking further down the corridor.

"it's happening again like before!" karkaroff snapped at snape as him and snape walked from carriage to carriage. snape opened each one, trying to catch students up to no good in order to get them in trouble. "and soon neither you or anybody else will be able to deny it!"

snape swung open a carriage door and then promptly closed it afterwards, smoothly replying, "i told you already, igor, i see no reason to discuss it."

"discuss what?" you wondered to yourself as you carefully peered around the pillar.

snape's eyes zeroed in a rocking carriage nearby, sprinting over to it and yelling out an incantation that broke the glass.

snape tore open the door and quickly ushered out a female and male student. "ten points from hufflepuff, fawcett! and the same for ravenclaw, stevens!" he snapped at the students as they scurried away.

"it's a sign, severus!" karkaroff roughly said as he stopped snape in his tracks. snape brushed past him with an eye roll. "you know it is!"

"i don't know what you're talking about," snape curtly replied as he walked over to another carriage.

"really?" karkaroff slyly asked snape as he approached him. "then perhaps you don't mind rolling up your sleeve?"

karkaroff moved to grab snape's sleeves but snape quickly raised his arms, directly staring into karkaroff's eyes.

"you don't fool me, severus! you are scared! admit it!" karkaroff seethed as he glared down at snape.

snape slowly lowered his arms, raising his chin as he calmly replied, "i have nothing to be scared of, igor. can you say the same?"

karkaroff hesitated for a few moments before he slowly backed away, quickly leaving the courtyard afterwards.

you exhaled a breath that you didn't know you were holding, looking over at harry. he looked as shocked as you were.

snape started to leave the courtyard and harry ran, heading back inside. you followed behind him and passed by the great hall, heading down into the dungeons.

you entered snape's room just moments before he did. his chest was heaving and he looked quite angry, slamming the door shut behind him.

"are you okay?" you asked him as he strode over to his bed and sat down, biting his lip.

"i'm fine," he lied, rubbing his left forearm and gritting his teeth.

you sat down next to him on his bed and rested your head on his shoulder. "you can tell me anything, you know," you gently reminded him.

"i know," snape deadpanned. "karkaroff just pissed me off."

"i'm sorry he did," you mumbled as you went to rub snape's left forearm like he was.

snape drew his arm back and you raised your head; he was looking at you with a serious and distressed expression. he knew that you were eventually going to see or ask about his dark mark and he didn't want to hide it from you forever, even if it put him at risk of many dangerous things. it started burning while you and him were dancing in the courtyard, which sent panic surging through him.

with a reluctant sigh, snape brought his arm forward, slowly rolling up his left sleeve to reveal his dark mark.

you gasped, looking up at snape with wide eyes. he looked away, embarrassed that he had such an awful thing tattooed onto his skin.

"sevy," you whispered as you delicately touched the mark, slowly running your fingers over it and tracing the shape of the skull and snake. snape looked back at you, his heart nearly bursting out of his chest.

"it's okay," you reassured him. "it's okay. i know you're not a death eater, anymore and-"

"it was burning," snape informed you through a tight jaw. "while we were dancing outside. something is going to happen."

your hand dropped from the dark mark, a flicker of anxiety coming to life inside of you. "i'm going to keep you safe, then," you promised him. "like i always have."

snape gave you an exasperated smile, watching as you resumed your movements on his dark mark. you caressed it before grabbing snape's arm, raising it to your lips before you slowly kissed the mark.

"i accept you for who you are," you breathed. "always have and always will."

snape shivered lightly when he felt your smooth lips on his warm skin; he hasn't felt the touch of a woman in so long, the last being when he was in his early death eater days and would go to the pubs looking for someone to cherish him for a night.

"thank you," snape whispered, his heart heavy with emotions while anxious words sat heavy on his tongue.

you placed his arm down and then embraced him, rubbing his back soothingly.

you knew that voldemort would be returning soon and you vowed to do anything to protect the man you loved.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

chapter nine

you found yourself in 40 degree weather a couple of weeks later, shivering as you stood in large wooden structures with the students and professors.

the second task was retrieving something you lost from the bottom of the great lake. the four champions readily stood at the edge of the platform below, waiting for the gun to sound so they could jump into the water.

"here," snape said as he took off his cloak and gave it to you. you began to insist that he keep it on but snape refused, smiling as he watched you bundle yourself up in his cloak.

it smelled like old books and snape's scent and the warmth of his cloak quickly enveloped you.

"i think potter was raiding my private stores for gillyweed," snape bitterly said as he gazed down at the champions below.

"are you sure? or are you just assuming that?" you genuinely asked him.

snape gave you a stern look and then smiled, looking away as he began to chat with mcgonagall.

the gun fired, signaling the four champions to dive into the lake. the champions had an hour to retrieve what they lost, and you were highly considering returning to the warmth of your room to curl up by the fireplace and read a book.

to pass the time, you and snape talked about what plans you had for the summer.

"i'll be heading home to london and taking a bit of rest before starting my job at the ministry," you told snape. "how about you?"

snape shrugged. "probably just read books all summer and create some new potions. i'll visit lily's grave as well." snape still loved lily after all this time and was still traumatized by lily's death.

"i'll join you," you told snape. "i haven't visited her grave in a while."

"thank you. it'll be nice to have some company for once," snape smiled. "at spinner's end i'm always alone. i'm highly considering moving from there, though. that place has too many horrible memories for me."

"i understand. do whatever will make you happiest," you encouraged him.

you suddenly heard the voice of your dad and turned around, seeing him walk up to dumbledore.

you excused yourself and quickly walked over to him, eagerly greeting him.

"hello, y/n. i assume you've been following what i told you?" he asked you with a knowing look. although he was your dad, he always spoke to you in a formal manner, especially when working.

you nodded. "yes i have."

"good," your dad said as he adjusted his tie. he then looked over at dumbledore and then back at you, sighing as he said, "yet i do think it is time to inform dumbledore."

"inform me about what?" dumbledore suspiciously questioned him.

"about the return of vol- he who must not be named," you instantly piped in.

dumbledore's eyes widened as your dad confirmed, "as y/n said, he who must not be named is returning. a seer at the ministry told me that dark times are ahead of us, and the other seers and i put together the pieces and concluded that the dark lord will be returning."

"do you know when?" dumbledore worriedly asked him in a hushed voice.

he sadly shook his head. "i do not, unfortunately. however, i advise you to immediately tell the other professors and expect the unexpected."

you watched as dumbledore walked over to the other professors, whispering to them about what you and your dad had just told him. snape seemed unphased by the news as he had already known about it, but his eyes worriedly darted over to you as dumbledore spoke.

"are you going to be alright?" you asked snape as you and him walked away from the others to talk.

snape wordlessly nodded, anxiously gripping the railing of where you two stood. you didn't say anything more, staring down at the lake with him.

the second task ended sometime after, with harry tying with cedric diggory. snape wasn't feeling well, so you and him quickly headed back to the castle to relax.

"hello professor y/l- are you wearing snape's cloak?" ron gasped at you as you and snape passed by him.

you gave him a brief nod, hearing him laugh as he ran over to harry and hermione to tell them.

you and snape went to your room, where your lit the fireplace with a wave of your wand. gizmo sat on his perch, looking over at snape before flying towards him and settling himself onto his head. snape gave your owl a disgruntled look and then looked over at you for help.

"gizmo, don't do that to guests," you laughed, waving your owl back to his perch.

snape smiled warily at gizmo as he sat down in the white armchair by the fireplace, rubbing his hands together for warmth.

you sat across from him on your bed, the two of you listening to the crackle of the fireplace and the light whoosh of a winter's breeze right outside the window.

"when i officially assume my duties as an auror, i'm going to make it my top priority to make sure that no dark forces try to enter hogwarts," you confidently informed snape. "the minister will assign each auror to a specific task force, but i'll ask him if i can just-"

"don't risk your life for me," snape cut you off. you raised your eyebrows at him and he continued, "i don't want someone else that means a lot to me to die because- because of me."

"what do you mean because of you?" you questioned him, thinking hard to yourself. something clicked inside of your brain and you gasped. "were you responsible for lily's death?"

"no!" snape exclaimed, crossing his arms over his chest. "it's a very complicated story, but i guess i'll tell you now. this will only be one part of my story, though."

"when i was still a death eater, i was ordered by lord voldemort to eavesdrop on dumbledore and trelawney. all i heard was that a boy born at the end of july of that year with parents who thrice defied voldemort will cause his downfall. naturally, i told voldemort this, and at the time he only learned of two boys who met the requirements; harry potter and neville longbottom. so voldemort-"

snape stopped speaking, starting to become choked up. you rushed to his side and rubbed his back, gently pushing his hair out of his eyes. snape shakily inhaled a breath before slowly saying, "voldemort went after harry because he saw him as more of a threat to him. lily sacrificed her life for harry, y/n. that is why i feel responsible for her death."

snape was silent for a few moments before he completely broke down in your arms, his body shaking from the force of his cries. you held him closely and stroked his hair, whispering soothing words to him.

"you didn't know that the prophecy would be about harry. you shouldn't feel bad over this," you soothed him as you grabbed his hand and reassuringly squeezed it. "it's not your fault."

"it is my fault!" snape suddenly cried as he tore away from you. "i'm a terrible person, y/n! how could you even stand being around me? nobody likes me. i'm just a disgusting, unlovable person."

your heart broke at seeing snape so upset, racking your brain to find the right words to say. "you're none of what others say you are. you're you. you're not terrible. you're not disgusting. you're not unlovable. you're my sevy and i accept you and all sides of you. i need you to remember that."

snape hopelessly looked at you, tears trickling down his pale cheeks as he sighed. "i'm sorry," he murmured.

"don't be," you whispered as you wiped away his tears with your thumb. "i'm going to keep reassuring you and reminding you that you're perfect just the way you are. whoever disagrees is a reflection on them. not you, not me, or us."

us. a union of two. togetherness. that's what snape wanted- no, needed with you. he needed to become one with you. you were so good and gentle with him and he knew he was going to regret if he ever lost you again.

snape slumped onto your chest and sniffled, smiling when he felt your arms wrap around him.

he honestly didn't know what he did to deserve you.

as you held him, snape's heart began to flutter in the way it did when he saw someone he thought was attractive or he'd hear the voice of someone he cherished.

that voice being yours, of course.

snape wasn't entirely sure if he was starting to develop an attraction for you since he had a bad habit of doubting his emotions, but whatever he was feeling made him feel better at that moment.

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chapter ten

"when are you going to confess to ol' snape, professor y/l/n? do i need to slip a love potion into his morning coffee for you?"

the voice of george weasley caught your attention. you had been walking down the corridor heading towards your classroom when the weasley twins started teasing the life out of you about snape.

"why is my personal life suddenly the business of you two?" you impatiently questioned george and fred.

"well, it's quite obvious that snape's got the hots for you. i think you two should just start going out," fred eagerly told you. "i mean, i don't know what you see in him, but george and i will support your decision!"

you rolled your eyes and told the twins to get to class. after they walked away, you leaned against the nearest wall to steady yourself.

you knew that you shouldn't trust the words of two notoriously mischievous students, but a lot of people have been speculating that snape is attracted to you.

"that's probably because they've never seen him get along with someone so well and you being a woman just makes them assume that there's more going on," your thoughts explained to you as you internally argued with yourself.

you also thought about how snape still loved lily; could he even possibly become attracted to you when he still loved her?

you sighed and shook your head, heading to your classroom to teach your next lesson.

meanwhile, snape was down in his classroom, teaching his sixth years about amortentia - the love potion. he brewed a batch of it to use as an example for his lesson, explaining that what someone smelled in the potion is what attracts them.

"what do you smell, professor?" one of his students asked him with a teasing grin.

snape looked down at the sheen, pinkish purple potion, sniffing it a bit. he instantly recognized what he smelled, which made his heart leap.

"coffee," he slowly started to answer, biting his lip. "rain and…perfume, floral perfume, to be exact."

he could smell your perfume. snape suddenly felt lightheaded and hastily told his students to start working on their assignments before he quickly sat down at his desk.

he stared at his reflection in an empty potion bottle sitting on his desk, astonished at what he had just discovered. he watched his face flush pink in his reflection, his mind spinning.

he hadn't felt an attraction for someone in so long, so naturally he was panicking. smelling your perfume in the amortentia ceased his doubts and only confirmed what he was truly feeling.

"professor snape, what is the-"

"not now, mr. whitlock," snape curtly interrupted his student. "just look it up in your textbook."

he didn't mean to snap at his student, but he was now so preoccupied in his thoughts that he was in no mood to answer questions.

after class, he nearly yelled when he saw you in the corridor, almost walking straight into a wall.

"you seem a little lost," you giggled as you caught up with snape to walk next to him.

"i'm not, thank you," he lowly said. "how was your class?"

"it was good, and yours?" you answered as you balanced the stack of textbooks that you carried in your hands.

"eventful, to say the least."

"how was it eventful, sev?"

snape suddenly stopped walking, his shoulders tensing as he tightly said, "i don't want to talk about it."

you slowly nodded, surprised when snape suddenly turned the other way and left your side.

you shrugged, figuring that his students had gotten on his nerves again. you just hoped that he was okay.

you spent your afternoon tutoring a few of your struggling students while snape spent his having a midlife crisis.

he intensely stared at his reflection in his bedroom mirror, testing himself to see if he smiled every time he thought about you.

he smiled each and every time, which led him to let out an exasperated noise as he gripped his hair.

his doubts began to creep up on him; what if you didn't share his feelings? what if you were only able to put up with his trauma and mistakes for so long?

snape didn't want to burden you at all. although he was extremely grateful for your kindness and unconditional acceptance, the last thing he wanted to do was become too much to handle.

after you finished tutoring, you decided to go visit snape. you knocked on the door of his classroom and he let you inside. the first thing you noticed were the overwhelming scents of strawberries, flowers, and old books.

"do you smell that?" you asked snape as you sat down across from him at one of the large brewing tables.

"what?" he said, sounding dazed as his eyes flickered away from your face.

"how do you not smell it? it's very strong… i smell strawberries, flowers, and old books," you said, raising your eyebrows when snape began to suddenly cough quite loudly.

you didn't notice the cauldron of amortentia sitting on his desk, which explained why you smelled those things and why old books was one of them.

snape smelled like a walking library since he was almost always reading or carrying a book with him. you always loved the smell of books, especially old ones, and you became a bit too excited when you found out that snape smelled just like them.

"sorry," snape apologized as he silenced his sudden bout of coughing. "my throat is a bit dry. would you like some water while i get some?"

before you could even answer, snape conjured up some water and glasses for the two of you, filling them with a wave of his wand before giving you your glass.

you were feeling suspicious about snape's sudden odd behavior; he kept staring pointedly at the cauldron on his desk, visibly panicked.

"what's in that cauldron?" you questioned as you stood up from the table. snape didn't reply, his eyes widening as he watched you approach the cauldron and look inside of it.

the scents became even stronger and you recognized the liquid inside, your growing smile instantly falling.

"oh," you blankly said. "oh."

you slowly turned to look at snape, realizing what exactly had just happened.

"i have to go," you abruptly announced, running out of his classroom without a second thought.

"fuck fuck fuck fuck," you mumbled to yourself as you rushed to your room. "i fucked up."

snape had to have noticed that you indirectly confessed to him via amortentia. who else smelled like old hooks? absolutely nobody. snape had to be aware of his own scent.

once you were in your room, you wallowed in your embarrassment, thinking of what exactly to do and say next.

"i can never talk to snape again," you thought out loud. "or see him again. i'm too mortified by what i've done."

gizmo watched you anxiously pace around your room with his big black eyes, flying over to you and landing on your shoulder.

you feebly smiled at your owl, giving him a pet before he gently nibbled on your ear, which was his way of showing affection.

"i don't know what i'm going to do, giz," you loudly sighed to your owl. "i should've never gone into his classroom."

gizmo rubbed his face on your cheek before flying off of your shoulder and out the window, presumably to the owlery to go eat.

as much as you wanted to avoid snape from now on, you knew that it would be immature and cowardly. you had to own up to your feelings whether you liked it or not. although you were extremely embarrassed, you didn't want to mess up your friendship again. you'd never forgive yourself if you did.

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chapter eleven

you saw snape at dinner that night, awkwardly sitting down next to him.

snape watched you out of the corner of his eye, chewing slowly on his food.

after you had ran from his classroom, all he thought about was how you smelled him in the amortentia. he was still trying to process it.

"it's a nice evening, isn't it?" snape suddenly said, making you jump in your seat.

"yes, it is. for once it's not freezing cold," you said rather quickly. "anywho, the third and final task is approaching. are you excited?"

"i suppose i am. it just means getting back to our normal schedules after it's over," snape said as he swallowed his food. "i'm not necessarily too fond of change."

"change can be challenging, but what matters is how we approach it and deal with it," you advised. "for example, if any sort of change occurred soon, i would approach it positively and with open arms."

you were badly trying to allude to your indirect confession from earlier; if snape felt the same, you'd gladly accept that change to your life.

"i've never understood how you've always been able to be so positive," snape sheepishly admitted. "isn't it difficult?"

you nodded. "it can be, but i myself would rather stay away from any and all negativity for the sake of my sanity."

snape felt slightly envious as he listened to you since he wanted to learn how to be more positive, yet his outlook on life and his circumstances have unfortunately always been grim.

"if only we lived in a perfect world. no wars, no death, nothing negative," you continued in a sad voice. "but you have to take the bitter with the sweet."

"but you have to take the bitter with the sweet." something clicked in snape's head when you said that. it made him realize that no matter how bitter the outcome might be whenever he decides to tell you how he felt, the sweetness of being attracted to you would still remain.

"i feel like i've only experienced bitterness in my life, but i have to admit that you've provided me with sweetness," snape shyly said as he picked at the food on his plate with a fork.

"like i've said, you deserve every ounce of goodness in this world," you beamed. "you are truly worthy of such wonderful things."

you and snape looked up at each other then, your eyes meeting as you two smiled at each other.

snape continued to look at as he tried to spoon some tomato soup into his mouth, completely missing his mouth. the soup spilled onto his robes and he cursed, frantically wiping his clothing with his napkin.

you laughed quietly, shaking your head and grabbing your napkin to help wipe his robes.

snape was embarrassed, avoiding eye contact with you as you helped clean him up.

"you'll need to give them a wash," you told snape as you watched the red stain on his robes only sink further into the fabric. "i'm assuming you have another pair of robes to wear until then?"

snape nodded, looking down at the stain with a pout. "my entire wardrobe consists of robes and the occasional scarf and sleepwear."

you smiled and patted his chest, sitting back in your seat. snape placed a hand over where your hand had been, the ghost of your touch lingering on his clothing.

after dinner, snape carefully studied his batch of amortentia, the scent of your perfume even stronger now. the smell was overwhelming yet pleasant to snape, and he found himself basking in the scent as he read some of his students' essays.

he washed his robes later that evening, looking through his wardrobe. he saw a dark gray scarf, grabbing it and running his fingers over the soft fabric. he hadn't worn it in a while and decided to wear it on his evening stroll through the hogwarts grounds.

snape changed into clean robes and his scarf before heading out into the evening. it was a cool and clear night, a pale crescent moon shining like a silvery claw in the night sky. owls flew overhead on their way to and from the owlery.

anape went on these walks whenever he needed to clear his head, but the thought of you remained stagnant on his brain. he sighed and made his way down past hagrid's hut, walking along the edge of the forbidden forest.

"severus?" your voice softly said from behind him.

snape turned around to see you standing nearby, wearing a long white coat over your lilac robes.

"good evening," he greeted you with a nod. "what are you doing out here so late?"

"i could ask you the same thing. i just came to clear my head," you explained as you walked over to snape to walk next to him.

"i came for the same reason," he smiled as he looked over at you. "i like your coat."

you looked down at your coat and stuck your hands inside the pockets, the thick fabric instantly warming them. "thank you. i like your scarf."

snape ran a hand over his scarf as he said, "oh, this old thing? i guess it's okay, but it does keep me warm. thank you, though."

you nodded, admiring the beauty of the sky and the tall, dark sycamore and pine trees of the forbidden forest.

"have you ever been inside the forest? i know it's a dumb question since it's forbidden to enter, but i'm curious," you said, breaking the silence between you and snape.

"only a handful of times," snape truthfully admitted. "it was terrifying. i had decided to take care of magical creatures as an elective class in my third year since none of the other elective classes seemed interesting. i encountered a lot of strange and creepy creatures, but the class was actually very helpful when it came to figuring out which properties of a certain creature would be best for potion making."

"what sort of properties?" you curiously asked him, genuinely interested in what he had to say.

"for example, the beautification potion requires unicorn hair and fairy wings. it makes the drinker very beautiful, but i don't think everyone needs to drink it," he casually explained as he swallowed nervously.

"i agree. there are many beautiful people out there. i can see why someone would want to take the potion, though, especially if they wanted to feel less insecure or something," you thoughtfully replied.

"you know, i do know a woman who's a perfect example of someone that doesn't ever need to take the potion. she's stand-" snape abruptly stopped speaking in the middle of his sentence, a sudden harsh cold washing over the two of you.

you stopped walking, pulling your coat closer around your body and shivering. "what were you saying, sev?" you asked him as your teeth began to chatter.

snape didn't reply, slowly drawing his wand from his coat as the coldness only increased. he studied the atmosphere around him, searching for any sign of a winter's breeze that could be causing such a sudden change in temperature.

you suddenly felt very sad and hopeless, your chest tightening. "i don't think something's right," you worriedly told snape as you drew your wand. "we should go-"

you were cut off by your own scream when a dementor suddenly swooped down on you from behind, grabbing ahold of you and coming face to face with you, its chilly breath crawling across your skin.

snape gasped and raised his wand at the dementor, fearfully watching as it began to suck your soul out of you.

"expecto patronum!" snape shouted, a glowing doe shooting from the tip of his wand. the doe charged towards the dementor, quickly chasing it away. you fell to the ground with a cry, landing hard on your hands and knees.

"y/n!" snape exclaimed as he ran over to you. the doe circled over the two of you before disappearing, leaving behind a faint sparkle in the air. "oh my god, are you okay!?"

"yeah," you weakly replied, looking up at snape as you rolled onto your back. "everything hurts."

"oh god, okay-" snape panicked as he helped you up, picking you up without hesitation. you hooked your arms around the back of his neck and clung onto him, sobbing quietly into his neck.

"it was so scary," you bawled as snape hurried back inside the castle, heading straight to the hospital wing. "i don't know why it went after me. that's never happened to me before. it felt like all of my happiness was being sucked away..."

snape tightened his hold around you, snapping at a few students who were wandering the corridors past their curfew. he took points from their houses, ignoring their wide eyes and loud gasps as they stared at snape carrying you.

"you're safe with me, y/n. dementors won't ever hurt you again," he soothingly whispered to you. "you're going to be okay."

snape was in tears by the time he arrived at the hospital wing, telling madam pomfrey about what happened.

"the dementor only attacked her for a few moments and she fell very hard to the ground after it let her go," snape rambled as he watched madam pomfrey ease you onto a hospital bed. "she's going to be okay, right??"

"yes, severus, she's going to be okay. i need to check for anything that might be sprained or broken, but she will be okay," pomfrey reassured snape as he anxiously paced by your bed. "how high did she fall from?"

"about a foot," snape replied as he quickly grabbed a chair from the other side of the room and promptly sat down next to your bed. "i know that's not very high, but she fell very hard and-"

"severus, she will be okay," pomfrey reminded him. you looked over at snape and smiled at him, placing your hand on his.

"she's right. i don't think i have too many injuries," you mumbled to him as pomfrey checked your wrists and ankles for anything sprained or broken. "stay with me?"

snape nodded, vowing to stay with you the whole night. pomfrey concluded that you only had a sprained wrist and a scraped knee. you were feeling very lightheaded and nauseous, so you were advised to stay in the hospital wing overnight.

snape's panic and fear ebbed out the discomfort he had felt when the dementor appeared, but he clearly remembered how it felt like all of his happiness had been snatched away.

snape couldn't sleep, watching you doze off as he slowly stroked your hair. he didn't want to take his eyes off of you, paranoid that a dementor would appear at any moment.

you turned over in bed, facing snape now. you snuggled your face into your pillow and shuddered, sleepily reaching around for your blanket with your eyes closed.

snape pulled the blanket over you, making sure it fully covered you. you smiled in your sleep and stilled, sighing contently.

snape smiled too, slowly placing a hand on your cheek. your skin was still cold from the dementor and it made his heart hurt to think that such a horrible thing happened to you.

snape leaned forward in his chair, swiping your hair off of your forehead before he delicately placed his lips there, kissing your forehead softly before he pulled back.

you stirred and mumbled something in your sleep; you were dreaming of snape, specifically about how strong his arms were and how protectively he held you.

"sevy," you mumbled. "need you."

snape's heart skipped a beat, his hand dropping from your cheek. you need him? his mind went two ways; into the gutter and into a more innocent, wholesome place.

"like you so much," you sleepily confessed as you rolled onto your back, yawning.

snape's heart skipped a beat again and he placed a band over his chest, listening to the echo of his heartbeat in his ears. he's always known of your habit of talking in your sleep; one time during your first year at hogwarts, you invited lily and snape to your house for a sleepover during christmas break. snape distinctly remembered hearing you mutter something in your sleep about the shepherd's pie that you had for dinner earlier that evening.

snape sat back in his chair, his body pulsating with excitement. however, the excitement was quickly replaced by guilt. he felt guilty for hearing your confession since you weren't aware that you had done it, and he began to worry that he was somehow taking advantage of it.

he shook his head and tried his best to get comfortable in his chair, making himself go to sleep before more guilt could consume him.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

chapter twelve

you woke up the next morning feeling a bit better, smiling when you looked over and saw snape still by your side.

he was asleep, slumped down a bit in his chair with his head lolling to the side.

you started to get out of bed, wincing and stopping when your wrist began to ache. madam pomfrey walked in and you told her about how your wrist still hurt.

"you'll need to wear a splint for a couple of weeks, then," she told you as she steadied your wrist and began to slide the splint onto your wrist. "it'll help prevent further damage, but make sure to take it easy."

you thanked her, watching her smile softly at snape sleeping before she left again.

you checked your watch, realizing that breakfast would start in about thirty minutes. you didn't feel very hungry though as you were still shaken up by the dementor attack.

snape moved in his chair a little, his eyes fluttering open. he sleepily smiled at you and sat up, yawning.

"did you sleep okay?" you asked him as you sat across from him on your bed.

"i did. did you?" he replied, pushing his hair out of his face and yawning again.

"i guess so. i had some very vivid dreams," you laughed quietly as you looked down at your splint. "thank you for staying with me overnight, by the way."

snape noticed your splint and frowned at it. "of course, y/n. i didn't want to leave you here alone."

you flashed him a twinkling smile before getting out of bed, stretching your arms and legs. your back popped and you moaned in relief, rolling your neck and shoulders.

snape stood up and stretched as well, contemplating whether or not to tell you that he heard you talking in your sleep. he knew that if he never told you, he'd never be able to become more than just friends with you.

"let's go," you told snape once you had finished stretching. "i want to go get some fresh air."

snape hastily nodded and left the hospital wing with you, figuring that he'd just have to tell you at another time. you and snape stepped out onto the grounds, staying close by the castle.

the morning was dewy and a bit cold, like it had rained overnight. in the distance you could see the giant maze being magically set up in preparation for the third task.

"i can't believe that the tournament is ending already," you sighed to snape. "although it's been stressful, it was fun to watch."

"it wasn't fun when the dragon's tail nearly hit us," he deadpanned.

you giggled and leaned your head on his shoulder, snuggling up to him to get warm. snape suppressed a loud shout of excitement when you did that, protectively wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

"i'm craving coffee," you suddenly announced.

"black coffee?" snape hopefully asked.

"sure, why not?"

before it could get any colder, you and snape went back inside. although you hadn't been outside for long, you already felt better.

you still weren't feeling hungry so you just grabbed a coffee from the kitchen, graciously thanking the house elves before you and snape headed to your room.

"are you not going to eat?" snape wanted to know as he sat down next to the fireplace.

you shook your head. "if i do eat, it probably won't be until later. all i can stomach right now is coffee." you then took a long sip of your coffee to emphasize your point.

"i'm surprised that you enjoy dark roasts," snape commented as held his hands in front of the fireplace to warm them. "you seem more like a vanilla latte type of girl."

"are you saying that because i have a very soft and gentle aesthetic?" you chuckled.

"well- yes," snape coyly replied. "you remind me of a lot of soft and gentle things, in fact."

that piqued your interest and you eagerly sat down next to him, leaning forward and nodding for him to continue.

"well, you remind me of tulips," he sheepishly said, rubbing the side of his face. "and clouds. strawberries too, since i know you like them. perfume too, of course. floral perfume."

"well, floral perfume is what i wear all the time, so it's natural that reminds you of me," you blushed, biting your lip. "wanna know what scent reminds me of you?"

snape nodded snd you simply said, "old books."

snape's eyes widened, remembering how you had ran out of his classroom after saying that you could smell old books. he also happened to have amortentia sitting on his desk at that time.

snape gulped and asked, "well, want to know something interesting?" you nodded.

"i heard you say something in your sleep last night."

snape wasn't thinking straight, deciding to risk it all and just tell you everything.

"and what was that?" you quietly uttered, your room gradually becoming a bit too warm for your liking. the combination of the heat on your cheeks and the heat coming from the fireplace had you feeling hazy.

snape greatly hesitated, knowing he'd need to be straightforward with you in order to get anywhere.

"that…that you need me, y/n. i heard you say that you like me," snape stated so quietly that you almost didn't hear him.

you nearly fell off of your chair, steadying yourself as you proudly informed him, "well, it's true."

you bit your bottom lip so hard that it began to hurt, having no idea where this sudden boost of confidence and boldness came from.

snape's breath quickened, lightly gripping the armrests of the chair and carefully declaring, "i smelled your floral perfume in the amortentia, just like how you smelled my scent before you left my classroom."

you released your lip from your teeth, your lips parted as you breathily answered, "yes, sev. it's true."

the tension in the room was already growing, ascending to the climax of the moment.

"i…" you didn't finish your sentence, watching as snape's face came closer and closer to yours before his lips finally graced yours.

the flutter in your heart only increased when snape's lips met yours, only being able to focus on the feel of his lips; they were rough and a little dry and you could taste the slightest hint of spearmint on his breath.

snape's hand bunched up your hair on the back of your head, holding your face closer to his as his other hand found its place on your hip.

snape pleasantly invaded all of your senses; you felt intoxicated by his scent, his lips, and the little sounds of content he was making.

your lips eagerly moved with his, your hands clutching the front of his robes. snape's breath softly tickled your chin and he hummed, tracing random shapes into your hip as he placed n arm around you to pull you in more.

you slowly slid onto his lap, straddling him and running your fingers through his hair. snape gasped lightly into the kiss, holding your waist as he pulled away for a moment to breathe before claiming your lips again with his.

your ears fully tuned into the sound of the crackling fire and yours and snape's breathing, your nose picking up every trace of snape's scent and just him.

snape pulled away moments later, his chest gently rising and falling as he gazed at you. you licked your lips a few times, still feeling the touch of his mouth.

snape cupped your cheek and pecked your lips, smiling as he whispered, "that was lovely."

you giggled and hid your face in the crook of his neck, kissing over where his pulse point was and feeling his heart quickly beating against your mouth.

snape hugged you tightly against him, leaving small kisses along your hairline. the two of you didn't say anything much after that, enjoying each other's presence and the joy of that moment.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

chapter thirteen

just a couple of days later and the death of barty crouch sr., whom you had spoken to several times before during your auror training, rocked your world. you were shocked and saddened by the news, yet it also put you on further high alert for the events to come.

"i'm scared," you quietly confessed to snape as you and him headed down to the stadium for the third and final task. "so many things can happen."

"i know, y/n. honestly, i'm scared too, but i'll make sure to keep you safe and sound," he promised you, his hand brushing against yours as you and him walked.

you grabbed his hand and held it, putting on a calm demeanor as you waved to your fellow professors and greeted them.

they all quickly noticed you and snape holding hands but didn't say anything, simply smiling at the two of you as you all sat down inside the stadium.

the maze loomed nearby, the hedges thick and tall and hiding who knows what inside. your grip on snape's hand tightened, a telltale sign of you becoming overly anxious. snape noticed and wrapped an arm around your waist, keeping you close.

you barely heard dumbledore explain the rules of the third task, too focused on trying to keep your anxiety under control.

the third task began and you allowed yourself to relax a little, watching the maze practically swallow up the four champions as they walked inside.

"who do you think is going to win?" snape asked you in an attempt to get your mind on something else.

"harry, hopefully. he's very brave and deserves this victory," you said as you scooted closer to snape, nearly on his lap at this point. "cedric diggory has been doing very well too, though."

snape nodded, massaging your waist absentmindedly. "whatever happens, everything will be okay," he whispered to you, and you knew he wasn't referring to the tournament anymore.

you sighed and sadly placed your head on his shoulder, a habit that you recently developed. it made you feel safe whenever you did that, since it allowed you to become physically closer to snape.

about ten minutes into the task, red sparks shot up from the maze, signaling that someone needed help inside the maze.

a few professors cautiously made their way inside the maze. snape held you back before you went to help, telling you that you needed to allow yourself to fully relax.

it was boring waiting for a champion to come out of the maze, so you struck up conversations with snape and the students around you to pass the time. the students were hesitant to talk to snape because of how he's treated them in the past, but snape actually got a few words out of them, mostly by telling them what their next potions lesson would be about.

you honestly lost track of time, too focused on conversing and laughing with those around you to notice the fear stricken expression on snape's face. he suddenly drew back from the conversation, gripping his left forearm as he gritted his teeth.

"sev? what's wrong?" you asked him with great concern as you put your full focus on him.

"it's burning!" he answered you in a panic as he held his foreman harder, cursing.

your stomach dropped and you frantically looked around, expecting to see voldemort swooping down on the stadium. all you saw were viktor krum and fleur delacour being escorted from the maze and back to their respective headmasters.

there was a beat of silence before harry suddenly appeared on the grass by the stands, clutching the triwizard cup. next to him laid cedric diggory, staring lifelessly up at the sky.

everyone began to cheer and clap, the cheerful tune of the hogwarts march joining the sounds of the crowd. however, the joyful mood quickly dissipated when fleur delacour suddenly screamed and dumbledore noticed that harry was sobbing.

you watched dumbledore rush over to harry, attempting to pull him away from cedric's body as harry sobbed out protests. dumbledore finally let go of him, bending down to his level as harry cried out, "he's back! voldemort is back! cedric asked me to bring his body back, i couldn't leave him there!"

dumbledore's eyes widened in horror, looking down at cedric and just now realizing that he was dead.

you and snape immediately rushed down to the grass, joining dumbledore and harry. those still in the stands were too stunned to move, shock written across their faces as they all watched harry sob and clutch onto cedric.

amos diggory, cedric's father, came running over to his son, wailing out, "that's my son!! my boy!!!"

"harry, come with me," you gently told him as you grabbed his arm, pulling him away from the scene.

"no!" he shouted at you, trying to break free of your grasp. "i have to stay with him!"

your heart broke seeing harry so distraught, but you knew that you couldn't just leave him here. you exchanged a tearful look with snape before you took harry with you out of the stadium, trying your best to soothe him.

snape found you in your office with harry. you were giving harry warm tea and wrapping a blanket around his shoulders. snape was panicking, neglecting the searing pain in his forearm as he rushed over to you and harry.

"are you alright?" snape quietly asked harry as he looked down at him.

harry looked up, surprised to see snape there. he quickly shook his head and sniffled loudly, his body trembling as he tightly clutched onto the cup that held his tea.

snape placed a hand on harry's shoulder for a moment before pulling back to look at you, instantly escorting you to the side to whisper in your ear, "i have to go soon."

"go where? you can't leave now!" you gasped, looking over snape's shoulder at harry, who was blankly staring down at his feet.

"i have to go, y/n!" snape shouted in frustration. you flinched, murmuring out an apology.

"no, it's fine," snape whispered as he kissed your temple. "i'm sorry. just- just be safe, okay? i'll be back."

you silently nodded, giving him a tight hug before he left your office in a hurry.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

chapter fourteen

the atmosphere at hogwarts after cedric's death was painfully solemn.

final exams and all other school activities were canceled because of the recent events. snape had returned late that night of cedric's death, refusing to tell you where he had gone and what he had been doing. this frustrated you greatly, but you didn't press him for any more information.

everyone gathered in the great hall on the last day of the school year to give a heartfelt speech about cedric's life and death.

when dumbledore mentioned that cedric died at the hands of voldemort, snape's hand found yours and securely held it. you squeezed his hand, wiping away your tears with a tissue. you felt lost, unsure of what was to come next for hogwarts and the wizarding world in general.

you sadly packed your bags later that day, knowing you were going to be replaced by another professor at the start of the next term. you were going to miss teaching and miss your students, but you still had your job at the ministry to look forward to.

"why are you packing?" snape casually asked you as you and him stood in your room later that day.

"did you forget that i'm leaving?" you tearfully asked him, sniffling loudly.

snape shook his head. "no, but i did ask dumbledore if you can live here at the school. he said you can stay in my room with me."

you dropped the sweater that you were in the middle of folding, running over to snape and throwing your arms around him.

"gosh, sev. what would i do without you?" you mumbled as you kissed his cheek.

"probably be miserable," he teased, patting your back. "i just didn't want us to be separated, especially not now with voldemort being back."

you sighed happily and hugged him tightly, feeling so grateful for snape and all he's done for you.

you moved your stuff into snape's room, immediately claiming the left side of his bed as yours and cuddling him the moment he laid down.

snape was touch starved so he gladly accepted your cuddles, laughing when you practically enveloped yourself in his cloak as you laid beside him.

"i wonder who's going to teach defense against the dark arts in september," you sighed as you laid your head on snape's chest, keeping his cloak around you.

"whoever it is, i bet they won't be half as good as you," snape reassured you as he combed his fingers through your hair. "you're a great teacher and you'll be an even greater auror."

"thank you, handsome," you smiled as you left a kiss on snape's cheek. snape let put a strange, squeaky noise when you called him handsome, blushing furiously as he looked away.

"you're very handsome. in fact, you're the most handsome man i've ever met," you giggled as snape hid his face in his pillow, clearly embarrassed. "it's true, sev."

snape looked up at you and cracked a smile, kissing the side of your head repeatedly. he then rested his head on your chest and you played with his hair, holding him as the two of you became comfortably wrapped in his cloak.

as you laid with snape, your only thoughts were of what would happen next. with voldemort back, you were unsure of how safe you and everyone else in the wizarding world would be.

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