#Swiss is tall as hell

[awolfnamedluna]

love that my ghoul polycule is:

tall mischievous ghoul

some audhd as hell human

smol mischievous ghoul

[papaemeritusthefifth]

Imagine if once a year the ministry allows some of the ghouls' family to spend a few days. After someone pleaded with Secondo during his era, he decided that it would be a great team building exercise and can improve morale. They had families in the Pit, after all. So now they have a few days each year where the families are invited to stay. In light of this, here's a few family dynamics!

Swiss: Has a great relationship with his family. He's one of the oldest in his extended family, so he is immediately swarmed by a few kits. He's great with the kids and is happy to help. He's closest with his brother, who is only a couple years older than him.

Phantom/Aeon: Is an only child, and it shows. Such a mama's boy. There's a moment during the first year with the new summons where their families show up and suddenly the older quintessence ghouls take a knee. A regal woman is standing in the smoldering summoning circle and Omega greets her with a solemn "Your Highness, we were not expecting you." This tall being regards everyone with a cold stare. They hear an absolutely ear piercing "MAMA!! :D" as Phantom rushes to hug her. And that is how everyone finds out that our favorite bat is related to a Prince of Hell. Despite this...shocking revelation, Phantom is on his best behavior for the next few days. It's clear he knows all the proper etiquette and is making a show of teaching everyone. Somehow, this ghoul who cannot figure out what kind of animal the Pink Panther is has a deep and extensive knowledge of court attire and manners. Dew is flabbergasted the entire time.

Mountain: Parents aren't in the picture anymore, so he grew up with his aunt, uncle, and two cousins. They were always disdainful towards our boy and treated him as such. Any gifts he received - if any - were only bribes to get him to do their bidding. When Mount was first summoned, he was quite reserved. Kept to himself and never accepted invitations for pack bonding. He warmed up to everyone over time, but no one wil forget those first few months. He is one of the few who doesn't have family visit.

Rain: Isn't close with his family. They haven't done anything wrong, but they just aren't as close as some others. His family visits but moreso out of responsibility. This is a family that is entirely neutral towards each other. Of course they love each other and keep in touch, but their letters are months apart and moreso to keep everyone up to date on large events. If you look closely, you can see Rain eyeing Swiss with his family with a glimmer of envy.

Cirrus: Has a small family, just her fathers and a younger sibling. They are the closest team you will ever see. Constant messages sent back and forth. When they visit, they immediately jump into the middle of a conversation as if that's how it always was. She gets majorly mischevious in the way that only siblings can bring out. You can visibly see her relax when they visit, and you realize how much being away from them takes it out of her.

That's it so far, but believe I'll be thinking up more soon!

[corroded-hellfire]

hi! i don’t know if you take requests/fic suggestions (if not feel free to ignore), but i love your writing (where the heart is ruined me in the best way!!) and thought you would write this idea super well. basically i saw this instagram reel (and watched it on repeat like 10 times) where a dad tells a waiter that his daughter thinks he’s cute and i thought it could be a cute meet-cute-scenario for eddie (or steve if you write for him)! that’s pretty much it lol, i hope you’re having a good day!

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CmXJ1_zL9F7/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

This may just be the cutest request I've ever gotten. I enjoyed writing this so so so much. I have to thank @munson-blurbs for suggesting I make the reader Hopper's daughter and adding another layer of hilarity to it for me. Fun fact, this scenario happened to my brother once. Only he was like, 11, so nothing was going to come from it and it was just purely my dad trying to embarrass him lol. Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this!

Words 2.2k

“Hey, welcome to Breadstix. My name is Eddie and I’ll be your waiter.”

You look up from your menu and do a double take at the beautiful man standing there. He’s tall and thin, his black t-shirt showing off his tiny waist and the light jeans showcasing the length of his legs. He has brown curly hair tucked in a bun at the nape of his neck, with a few loose frizzy pieces framing his face. The tattoos that are scattered along his arms catch your attention; your eyes being particularly drawn to the colony of bats taking flight on his forearm. But it’s when you look into his eyes that you get lightheaded and forget your own name, let alone what you were going to order for dinner. 

Going out for a family dinner with your dad and sister was never something that was particularly exciting, but it just got a hell of a whole lot better. 

“The special today is the brown sugar pork chops with a sweet potato on the side.”

“Huh,” your dad hums, eyes scanning over the menu once more. “That sounds good. I’ll take the special and a coke.”

Eddie takes down the pen that’s tucked behind his ear and scribbles down on the pad in his hand. He looks at your sister next and she gives him a sweet smile.

“For you?” Eddie asks.

“I’ll have the mushroom and Swiss burger, please,” El says. “And a water.” 

He jots that down as well then turns to you. When his eyes land on you, your mouth goes dry. Eddie shoots you a smile and you swear your stomach is too full of butterflies to eat any food. 

“And what can I get for you?” Eddie asks.

A cold shower? A date? An orgasm? 

“Um, I’ll have the spaghetti and meatballs. A-And a Diet Coke,” you manage to get out.

“Ah, my favorite,” Eddie says with a wink that nearly kills you as he writes your order down. “I’ll put those right in for you.”

He walks away from the table, and you feel your body deflate, letting out a breath and finally relaxing. You drop your head down on the table to hide the smile spread across your lips.

“What’s with you?” your dad asks.

“Hmm?” You lift your head up and look at him. El is giggling in her seat next to you, clearly knowing why you’re acting strange and bubbly.

“What’s with this sudden…mood change?” Your dad waves his hand around in front of your face, gesturing to your dopey expression. 

“I know,” El snickers and you reach over to playfully shove her. Your dad leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest as he watches the two of you. He raises his eyebrows at you girls as you nudge one another back and forth with your elbows.

“Well shit, someone slipped something into your Wheaties this morning,” he says.

But your dad isn’t dumb. As chief of police, things rarely escaped his notice. He’s just waiting to see if you’ll cop to it or not.

“No, it’s just…” You trail off, shaking your head.

“It’s what?” 

A red flush comes to your face and El covers her mouth as she lets out another giggle.

“He’s so cute.”

“Who?” Hopper asks, just flat out playing dumb now. 

“The waiter!” you say in exasperation.

“Eddie.” El says his name, leaning in towards you and wiggling her eyebrows. 

“Ah,” your dad says with a laugh. “That’s your type, huh?”

“Dad!” you admonish, face becoming even redder. 

He lifts his hands in surrender as El dissolves into laughter. Before, you wouldn’t have described yourself as having a “type” but after seeing Eddie, you can’t imagine having a type that didn’t look like him. It was hard to pick out one thing that turned you on about him the most. The package of Eddie as a whole was so overwhelming that you could practically feel the sharp stab of Cupid’s arrow jammed in your back.

You spot Eddie approaching with the drinks, so you swat at El to get her to behave. She bites her lip and stares down at the scuffed wooden table in front of her, so she doesn’t lose it again.

“Here we go. Water, coke, and a Diet Coke. Your dinner should be coming out soon,” Eddie says. “Everything okay here?”

You’re praying your dad keeps his mouth shut as you smile and nod your head at Eddie. When he gives you a smile in return, El covers a laugh by pretending to cough into her hand. You’d throttle her when you got home. Hopper seems to pay Eddie no more mind than he would any other waitstaff that his oldest daughter didn’t find absolutely beautiful.

After Eddie leaves again, conversation thankfully steers away from your romantic inclinations and into the topic of ridiculous calls that came in at the station today. El also tells you about a school project that’s coming up and tells your dad she needs to get a book for her next book report at the library. It’d be easy to think that your father forgot all about your attraction to your waiter, but when Eddie comes to deliver your meals, it’s obvious he didn’t. Sometimes the universe just liked to pull the rug out from underneath you.

“Alright,” Eddie says. He’s balancing the large tray carrying your plates on one hand, muscles rippling under the skin of his arm as he holds it up. The only thing that tears your eyes away from his bicep is when he places your dish down in front of you. “Anything else I can get you guys?”

“I think we’re all set,” your dad says. Eddie nods and tucks the tray under his arm. As he goes to turn away from the table, Hopper lifts his hand and swivels towards Eddie. “Oh, one thing.”

Eddie licks his lips as he spins back towards the table, a friendly smile on his face. “What can I get you?”

“Oh no, nothing,” your dad says with a shake of his head. “It’s just that my daughter here thinks you’re very cute.” He reaches over and pats you on the back so there’s no mistaking which one of his children he’s talking about. 

“Dad!” 

El bursts out into laughter as you raise your hands to cover your face, wanting to die on the spot. The heat in your cheeks is enough to make sweat break out along your hairline, only made worse by how fast your heart is pounding. The adrenaline rush flooding your veins is real. Being a high school student, you’ve been embarrassed plenty of times before in your life, but you think this takes the cake. Having the police chief as a father also came with its own moments of teasing and joking, but this seemed extreme even for him. Somewhere deep inside, you find the courage to peek at Eddie from between your fingers. There’s a shy smile on his face as he looks at you, his own cheeks dusted in a light bit of pink. 

“Well, that’s very sweet,” Eddie finally says, resting his hand over his heart. He opens his mouth again, but nothing comes out and you realize that not only did your dad put you on the spot, but Eddie as well. “I’m flattered.”

Slowly your hands fall from your face and into your lap. Peering up at Eddie from under your eyelashes, he dips his gaze quickly before meeting yours again. The smile on his pretty mouth makes you feel as if there’s an animal jumping and banging around inside your heart, trying to break free. 

“Let me know if there’s anything else I can get for you,” Eddie says before walking away.

Part of you feels a bit disheartened. But what did you expect? Eddie to ask you on a date because your father told him you’re attracted to him? Right in the middle of his shift? God, your dad better give him a big tip on the check. 

“You’re the worst,” you mumble as you twirl some spaghetti onto your fork. But there’s a fond smile on your face as you shoot a glare at the chief.

Eddie comes by twice more while you’re eating to see if everything is okay, and both times you can barely meet his gaze. El thinks it’s all hilarious and has a grin on her face for the rest of dinner. 

Once everyone is finished and your and El’s leftovers are boxed up, Eddie comes over with the bill. You expect him to put it down on the table right in front of your father, but he walks around him to come up behind you and reaches over our shoulder to lay the check down right in front of you.

“I figured you’d be taking care of this,” he says. You can’t see him from where he’s standing behind you, but El catches sight of the smirk on his face and her expression lights up in glee. 

It’s hard to concentrate on anything with Eddie standing so close to you that you can smell the trace of cigarettes under a spicy cologne wafting over you. When he speaks, the scent of mint is added into the mix, so you assume he’s chewing a stick of gum and you’ve never been more jealous of a piece of candy in your life. 

When Eddie walks away, you have to fight the urge to reach out and grab onto him and make him stay. El moving the check in front of you snaps your attention back to the task staring you in the face. You give El’s hand a light smack so she drops the slip of paper. You’re able to snatch it up and hold it up to your face so El can’t read it from where she’s sitting. 

I hope your dad is currently unarmed since I’d like to say that I think his older daughter is very beautiful. And inquire if she might like to go on a date with me? 555-0527 xoxo - Eddie

Your wide eyes can’t believe what you’re reading. It takes a minute for it to click in your brain what you’re actually looking at. The smile spreads across your lips next, making your cheeks ache from the intensity of your grin. 

When the paper gets plucked from your fingers you whine and furrow your brow at your father. 

“What, you going to pay?” he asks as he digs for his money in his wallet. 

“No. But I was reading that,” you say.

“Well hang on, I gotta know how much to leave don’t I? You can kiss his phone number once I’m done.”

The blush flares up on your face at his words. You weren’t going to actually kiss the paper. But the fact that said paper could lead to a kiss is what’s got you so wound up. Hopper slaps some bills down on the table and hands you the precious check back. You securely fold it and clutch it in your hands, afraid to let it out of your sight for even a moment. El grabs the takeaway boxes and the three of you head towards the door. As you take one last look over your shoulder into the restaurant, you see Eddie coming out of the kitchen. His eyes lock with yours and he gives you that smile you swear could stop time. 

“Maybe I should embarrass you more often, huh?” Hopper says from behind you. 

“No!” you and El answer in unison. 

“I’ll be right back,” you say, glancing back at your family. 

“We’ll be outside,” your dad says.

“Have fun,” El adds with a smirk before she follows your dad out the door. 

Taking a deep breath to relax your system, you start to walk over towards Eddie. 

“Hey,” he says once you’re standing in front of him.

“Hi. Look, I’m sorry if you felt embarrassed or put on the spot. He can be a bit much sometimes.”

“No, no,” Eddie assures you with a shake of his head. “First thing I thought when I walked over to your table tonight was how beautiful you are. The Chief kind of did me a favor, actually.” 

“Oh. Well, I’m glad then,” you say, face glowing from his compliment. 

“I take it you got my note?” Eddie asks, reaching up to scratch the back of his head. 

“I did,” you say, still clutching it in your hands. “And I, uh, would like to go on a date with you. So, I’ll definitely call.”

“I get off work at nine,” he tells you. 

“You’ll hear from me soon after that then,” you say with a shy shrug of the shoulders. 

“I’m really looking forward to it, uh…”

He trails off and you realize it’s because he doesn’t know your name. You introduce yourself to him and extend your hand. Instead of shaking it, like you expected, he takes your hand in his and leans in to press his lips against your knuckles. You’re pretty sure you’re going to spontaneously combust. Or have an aneurysm. Or just flat out melt into a puddle on the floor. 

“I’ll talk to you tonight then,” Eddie says.

“Tonight,” you repeat, slowly backing away from him. You don’t want to go, but you know your dad will come in and say something even more embarrassing than he already did if you make him wait too long. 

“Bye, Eddie.”

“Bye, beautiful.”

[endless-weightless]

Random nameless ghoul headcanons (SFW and NSFW)

I'm taking the piss with all of these. And remember, kids, this is fanfiction!

I mostly just wrote about the current ghouls but I'm more than happy to write about any past ghouls if you guys want!

TAGS/WARNINGS: mating cycles, CNC, weed mention, primal play, polyamory and orgies,

SFW✄

All of the ghouls have a specific scent but Mountain for some reason can emit any particular scent so long as it's earth related. He usually smells like pine trees and grass but if any of the ghouls are anxious leading up to rituals or just worried in general he'll make himself smell like lavender because he knows how calming it is.

Mountain is also victim to clothing robbery because he smells so nice and is SO DAMN TALL.

They're some of the most open-minded and accepting people you'll ever meet.

Full moons tend to have a weird effect on the ghouls. Not as bad as say a werewolf but they definitely become a bit more... feral. The less extreme effects would just be heightened senses and craving gamey meats more while the worst of the worst would be bordering violent and definitely nsfw (see nsfw for more on this). They'd probably call it a hunter's moon (badum tss).

All of their eyes glow very faintly in the dark.

Their pupils are like a mix of feline and just regular ol' human.

They all have claws but Aurora and Sunshine are the only ones who actually have them out because everyone else needs short nails to play their instruments.

They all purr when they're happy or they're experiencing physical affection, though the volume and intensity varies depending on the ghoul.

Mountain sleeps like a log unless he's sharing a bed, then he's everyone's teddy bear and always has an arm around someone whether he agreed to it or not.

Rain absolutely HATES throwing up.

Swiss and Sodo convinced Mountain to grow marijuana by letting him try some. The ghoul den now constantly smells faintly of weed.

All of the ghouls have their own bedrooms but prefer to cuddle with each other and usually just make a nest out of blankets and pillows in the main common room area and turn it into one giant bed for everyone.

Cirrus and Aether tend to take on an almost parental role in the group just to keep the newer ghouls in line which can be draining at times but rewarding in the end.

They all have black tails and horns that are pretty much identical with the only difference being everyone has a slight tint to theirs depending on their element (Sodo's are red, Rain's are blue, Phantom and Aether's are purple etc).

Their fangs aren't actually too sharp. Could be because they've just become blunter over time with less need to bite actual people.

Most of them straight up act like cats depending on how new they are to the mortal plane. Since Omega’s been on earth the longest, he acts more closely to a human than Phantom, who is fresh out of hell.

Zephyr gets really bad chronic leg pains which is why he's always sitting while performing and so quick to sit back down after finishing the Mummy Dust solo.

Aurora has super painful cramps leading up to her heat so Sodo has taken it upon himself to use his hands as a heating pad for her (which he will do for anyone in need of a heat pack).

NSFW✄

If you had to make a spectrum of all the ghouls from most submissive to most dominant, it'd be Sunshine, Phantom, Rain, Cumulus, Swiss (ultimate power switch), Aurora, Ifrit, Sodo, Mountain, Zephyr, Cirrus, Aether, Alpha and finally Omega.

None of them are strictly doms or subs, they like experimenting and switching things up every once in a while to keep things interesting but they certainly have preferences.

They all enjoy both monogamous and polyamorous sex equally. Sometimes they just want soft intimate sex with one person or they're just craving multiple people.

Full moons don't make everyone horny in an "I need to impregnate someone/be impregnated now" way, they make the ghouls horny in a primal way...

Some of the ghouls that are more affected by the full moon or just enjoy primal play with a bit of CNC will sometimes ask some of the siblings of sin and/or you if you'd all be comfortable with letting them "hunt" you down.

Aether and Cirrus have sleepy and lazy sex when they're tired from dealing with the ghouls and need a break and some relief.

Mountain is always looking down the sisters of sin's and the ghoulette's tops to see their cleavage. In his defence he's pretty fucking tall and can't help that he has to look down to talk to people.

If anyone in the group, including you, are feeling lonely, stressed or just exhausted and in need of some kind of relief, all of the ghouls are more than willing to give head to anyone for hours, making sure they cum at least four times before they let them have a break.

All of them have a marking kink because of their need to mate during heats and ruts.

They all go just a teensy bit feral when they pick up on the scent of a virgin with Swiss being the most dramatic about it.

And if someone doesn't smell like a virgin but instead like ghoul, they still go feral because ghouls like sharing when the moon isn't full.

Aether feels the constant need to slap every ghoul and ghoulettes ass possible, even Sodo.

Aurora, Zephyr and Phantom the most handsy out of the ghouls.

Heats and ruts are already hellish enough, but what makes it worse for the ministry is how only half of the ghouls get their heats and ruts at the same time while the other get it the other half of the time, which basically means twice as many heats and ruts in a month.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚

that's all my lovelies, lmk if you want any more!

[ghoultrifle]

thinking bout the ghouls at a theme park

it's a fun day out from papa as a reward for one (1) whole week without an Incident

despite being a literal creature summoned from the depths of hell, phantom is terrified by the ghost train/house of horrors. no one warned him there'd be jumpscares, they all told him it was a Pit simulator :(

cirrus and rain treat it as a people watching day, setting up camp in a picnic area and hoarding ginger and dramamine for when a ghoul inevitably feels ill

cumulus, dew, and swiss have to be put on a leash between rides because they're so excitable (turns out humans don't take kindly to biting, it was only a nip and cumulus just couldn't contain herself). they go on EVERYTHING even the kiddy rides. they report back to rain and cir every so often like kids at a playground

mountain and aether spend the day getting kicked off rides because mountain is simply too tall, my man's a safety hazard. they leave early and fuck nasty while the den is empty

aurora racks up hundreds of pounds on the ministry's credit card in the gift shop, "oh this bat plushy looks lonely, better buy it a friend", "well i've bought two i might as well buy another", "ooh a bendy pencil and a piece of plastic that slaps around your wrist, how can i lose!"

papa regrets everything and thinks about leaving the church forever (this is actually how we get papa v)

[ravenssilver]

Hey can we get some Mountain Dew cuddles? Maybe Dew had a rough day and just needs cuddles from the big man?

hnnnghfbfb… mountaindew:(

900 words of dew having a rough time and mountain knowing him well enough to see past his anger

i didn’t really get too into the bad day, so this is mainly comfort with a bit of snappy dew at the beginning. no cws :)

under the cut, if you please<3

Dew hated laundry duty. Hated it.

There was a constant flow of dirty clothes, someone in the ministry was a dirty freak and had clothes that were literally solid as a rock, and he wasn’t allowed to leave until all the clothes for the day were cleaned.

The Brother of Sin that was helping him was doing the exact opposite of helping. He had no idea how to do laundry, used hot water with non color separated clothes, and apparently had no idea what a dryer sheet was.

Dew eventually snapped and kicked the Brother out of the laundry room, making a very angry mental note to complain about him to Copia.

Though, even with the Brother being stupid, clothes were still getting cleaned while he was around, and now that he wasn’t, Dew was sure to be working for a lot later.

And then the laundry cleaner bottle exploded on him.

A towel may have been caught on fire…

When everyone saw Dew grumbling up a storm as he entered the common room hours after they had, they knew that he hadn’t had a good day.

“Dew! We made pasta! Do you want some?” Aurora asked, hoping to cheer the fire ghoul up.

Now, if it were anyone else, Dew would’ve snapped even after such a nice and tentative question, but this was Aurora, so he knew he couldn’t.

“No.” Dew said, albeit shortly. He then walked down the hall to his room, his tail thrashing and making clear he was pissed as hell.

Aurora looked back at the pack, getting head-shakes from the ghouls who had known Dew the longest.

“Honeydew,” Mountain spoke softly, his knuckles gently rapping on Dew’s door. “Are you alright?” Mountain asked quietly, hearing Dew grumble in response. Mountain smiled softly, expecting that response.

“May I come in?” Mountain asked, taking his hands away from the door. It was quiet for a moment before Mountain heard Dew drag himself out of bed and come over to the door, opening it and glaring up at the taller ghoul.

“You’re tired..” Mountain spoke, his voice gentle. Dew scoffed, upset that the tall ghoul could read him so well. “What about it?” Dew sneered, not in the mood to entertain anyone at the moment.

“I could make some tea. I have lavender in the kitchen, so it will help you sleep.” Mountain offered. “I don’t want your remedies,” Dew scoffed yet again, Mountain growing amused by the constant sound leaving the fire ghoul.

It was like he was trying to puff out smoke.

“That’s alright.” Mountain nodded. “What do you need?” Mountain asked.

Dew opened his mouth, definitely going to say something snappy. Though, he knew Mountain didn’t deserve that, and that he was safe with the bigger ghoul.

“A Mountain-Dew night…” Dew mumbled, glancing around before looking back at Mountain.

A Mountain-Dew night was a night where Mountain and Dew holed up in Mountain’s room, Mountain with some tea, and Dew with Mountain Dew soda. It was affectionately named by Swiss, though none of the pack really knew what happened on Mountain-Dew nights behind the earth ghoul’s door.

Everyone knew it was chaste and loving, but other than that they had not a clue.

Well, except Rain. But he could keep a secret like nobody else.

The earth ghoul smiled and nodded. “Do you want me to go get your soda?” Mountain asked. Dew shook his head, lacing his fingers with Mountain’s and walking to the bigger ghoul’s room.

Though, Dew halted and turned to the kitchen instead. Mountain laughed and gently pulled Dew back, shaking his head.

“I’ve had my tea for the day, Droplet. It seems tonight is a drink-less night,” Mountain smiled, pressing a kiss to Dew’s forehead and walking with him to his plant-filled room.

Dew remained silent, as he usually did during Mountain-Dew nights. Mountain didn’t mind, of course. He loved Dewdrop, both when he was silent and when he was loud.

Plus, Mountain would be a bit of a hypocrite to shun someone for being quiet.

Mountain led Dew into his room, allowing the small ghoul to raid his closet for his much bigger clothes. Once Dew returned in a sweater he looked like he was swimming in, he saw Mountain setting up a nest on his bed with soft blankets and pillows. An essential oil steamer was going, wafts of petrichor filling his nose.

“Rainy?” Dew asked, looking around. Mountain shook his head. “He promised Aeon that he’d stay in his room this week. I figured I’d get the next best thing since he can’t join us tonight.” Mountain spoke, his voice gentle as he did so.

Dew nodded and shuffling over, climbing into Mountain’s bed and helping him finish up the nest.

Mountain let Dew set up his side how he wanted, knowing not to interfere with the fire ghoul and his habits that helped him feel comfortable.

It wasn’t long before Dew was settled, his head nuzzled into the pillow Mountain used as he waited for the bigger ghoul to lay down.

As soon as the earth ghoul was settled, Dew draped himself over the bigger ghoul, purring as he heard Mountain’s steady heartbeat.

“Jane Austen?” Mountain asked, his voice almost silent. Dew nodded, his purring loud enough for Mountain to hear, but not obnoxious. Mountain picked up Pride and Prejudice, flipping to the page they left off at during the last Mountain-Dew night.

Mountain began to read, Dew’s purrs leveling out into a steady flow of utter content.

[allmahfeels]

Pedro Boys Watching GBBO

Just some headcanons of the Pedro Boys watching Great British Bake Off with you! Not explicit, just verry fluffy.

Marcus Pike

Absolutely loves the show, it's his favorite time of week! Marcus looks forward to watching Bake Off with you, curled on the couch, more often than not with a sweet treat (that if he had time to) is made by him or from your favorite bakery.

He gets emotionally attached to all of the contestants and gets teary at the end of every episode. He also likes to keep up with former contestants on social media (“Honey, did you see Manon from season 9 is having another baby? So happy for her!). And of course his idea (and yours) of a perfect Sunday is trying to recreate some of the desserts from the show.

Joel Miller

At first he wasn’t really interested. But then one rainy day you decided to marathon a past season, and Joel would occasionally stop what he was doing to comment here and there but ultimately go back to his chores around the house. Eventually, he stops to sit next to you on the couch, his interest piqued at the Showstopper Challenge, “How on earth is he gonna build a structure that tall? Honey, are you sure it’s just cake in there?” Before you know it he’s joining you every week when the new season starts, “Baby look, she’s getting the Hollywood handshake! She deserves it, no way in hell I coulda got a spiral in my Swiss Roll like that, that’s for damn sure!”

Dieter Bravo

It’s his favorite show. He likes to watch it in bed, with you on his lap, high as a kite. The music and soft colors calm him in a way not much else can. He does tend to get emotional if a baker’s dessert doesn’t end up how they wanted, but then you just take a break and fool around until he’s feeling better.

Frankie Morales

Just like Joel, he doesn’t set out to watch it at first but gradually gets sucked in because of the craftsmanship element. Before long he’s reminding YOU when it’s on, “Baby we can’t go out tonight, new Bake Off, remember? It’s biscuit week!” One day Santi comes over to borrow a tool and when he sees what Frankie’s watching he laughs but Frankie just shakes his head and dares him to watch an episode and not get hooked. It took exactly ten minutes before Santi was yelling at the TV: “I’ve never heard of a sfogliatelle in my life but even I know that turned out bad!” Soon the rest of the boys find out and while just like Santi they laugh at first, Frankie challenges them to watch one episode and get back to him. Needless to say your living room is a little more crowded when the next new episode is on.

Javi G

Javi loves it because YOU love it. And that’s why for your birthday he flew in Paul and Prue to have dinner with you both. 

My Masterlist

[dewedup]

would you be so kind as to provide us with a Mountain sick-fic bc I have the Flu and I'm projecting on my tall guy 😔🙏

please enjoy sick!Mount, pack dynamics, tour travel, and a concerned Zephyr 🖤🖤🖤

as per usual a huge and loving thank you to @jimothybarnes for betaing and making me feel like I wrote the next great novel 🥰

(i may or may not have started a part two of possessive mount breaking zeph's heat when he's feeling better, it ties into the ending of this one so if that's something anyone's interested in reading let me know!)

1.8k of fluff, comfort and cuteness below the cut or on AO3 HERE

It starts with a tickle in the back of his throat. Mountain finds himself clearing it periodically throughout the day, but never getting rid of the foreign feeling when he swallows. It’s a small thing though, something he can push to the back of his mind while he focuses on sound checks, travelling and performing- basically everything related to being on tour.

He wakes up a day or two later and feels exhausted. His bones ache, his brain is foggy, the cold grip of a headache approaching from the edge of his consciousness. The tickle has doubled down in its presence, now tender and sore with every breath, word, or swallow. He feels like getting hit by a vehicle on the highway they’re driving down would be swifter and less painful than the illness working its way through his immune system.

He’s like a zombie, sleepwalking through the motions. Luckily, it’s just a travel day, spent moving from their last location to the next venue. He’s stuck on the bus for the entirety of the day, tries to spend time out in the lounge area with everyone else. But Phantom is loud and overly excited, peering through the window in utter delight as he points out the unofficial eighth wonder of the world.

They’re driving past the Grand Canyon, which honestly isn’t that grand, Mountain’s seen bigger canyons in Hell. Being a ghoul of the earth means he’s very fluent in geographic abnormalities, erosion and rocks. Instead of giving Phantom a lesson in his rocky background, which Swiss seems to be anticipating, if the roll of his eyes as he looks at Mountain is any indication, Mountain simply pats Phantom on the shoulder. He mutters good ghoul under his breath, and retreats to the sleeping bunks.

His rest is pitiful, he’s hot and sweaty, then he’s kicking the blankets off only to be greeted with a chill that seeps into his bones, limbs shaking at the abrupt changes in temperature. He never succumbs to complete sleep, lingering in a half-state of lethargy and just feeling poorly.

It might be minutes, hours or days later, when he feels a cool hand press against his forehead. He’s hallucinating now, because it feels like the hand of his mate, the same one that’s still at home, a disgusting amount of distance between them. He knows it’s not real, their sweet scent of licorice and fresh linen doesn’t fill his nostrils. But then again, he’s pretty congested, hasn’t been able to smell anything in the last day and a half.

Mountain whines as the touch moves from his forehead, shifting down to his equally heated cheek and offering the tiniest bit of respite from the fever. He’s sweating again, wants to rip his own skin off to escape the burning inside of him, when a light breeze seemingly appears from nowhere. It dances across his body, giving him the first sense of relief since he laid down in his bunk.

“Pietra,” the demon caressing his face coos, and Mountain truly must have died and went to Hell, because there’s only one soul who calls him the Italian word for stone.

He squints open an eye, meeting the concerned face of his mate.

“Zeph?” Mountain’s voice wobbles, cracking on the singular word, as tears threaten to fall. Zephyr takes a second to assess their situation before climbing right into the bunk beside Mountain, pulling their mate close.

Mountain rests his head on Zephyr’s chest as he lets out a few pathetic sniffles, mainly just feeling sorry for himself.

“We’re at the hotel, love. The others went inside, they didn’t want to wake you. My flight landed early so I’ve been here for a bit, setting up our nest.”

Nest. That’s right, in Mountain’s deteriorated state he forgot Zephyr was scheduled to go into heat any day now. The Ministry opted long ago to pay for a flight for them if Mountain was away, rather than deal with an aggravated air ghoul who would take their frustrations out on the abbey and all who stumbled across their path.

If Mountain let out a few extra tears at the thought of his mate, already on edge from their own rising hormones, putting their needs aside to care for him, well, neither of them speak on it.

Eventually, Zephyr convinces Mountain to leave the safety of the bunk and retreat to their hotel room. It involves a lot of gentle encouragement and a few filthy promises for when he’s feeling better. Mountain can’t smell anything, so he misses the slight bite to Zeph’s scent, the telltale sign of the beginning of a heat that they push down forcibly with sheer willpower, knowing Mountain is in no shape to fulfill their needs at this moment.

They share a bath, slightly hotter than Zephyr would prefer, but the steam helps to clear Mountain’s congested airways and the warmth soothing the aching in his bones. It’s intimate in a nonsexual way, how Zephyr lathers up a washcloth and takes their time rinsing the sweat and sickness from Mountain’s skin.

Mountain’s soon dry and in his pyjamas, a steady hand at the small of his back guiding him to the bed in the centre of the hotel room. True to their word, Zephyr had created a fine nest, bringing blankets from their den at home to create a soft spot for them to connect with each other. Mountain falls into the pile, burrowing his way to the perfect spot and collapsing into the down pillows.

Zephyr seamlessly joins Mountain, wrapping their arms around him in a big spoon position. It is something Mountain usually takes up in their shared bed, but his need for comfort is apparent and Zephyr isn’t too put out by getting to hold their mate in their arms like this.

Mountain falls asleep to the soft hums vibrating from Zephyr’s chest, his own purrs mixing in at the same tempo, every single part of their being made for each other.

_________

Mountain wakes up, lying awkwardly on a couch too small for his big frame. He’s confused, disoriented, and doesn’t remember where he is for far longer than he’d like to admit.

His brain feels foggy, his eyes landing on a bottle of water left on the table in front of him, the condensation having dripped to the table, creating a small puddle of liquid around the container.

The bottle brings back the memory of Zephyr braiding his hair on this very couch, enthusiastically agreeing with Rain as the water ghoul tried to force some cold medication in Mountain’s mouth. He remembers putting up a good struggle, managing to knock Rain back a few steps before Dew intervened. With Zephyr yanking on his hair, tilting his head back and Dew lying on top of him, bodily restraining his movements, Rain was able to slide home a few of the abnormally large pills. Mountain fought valiantly, but Rain pulled a demonic move covering his mouth and pinching his nose until he was forced to swallow, begrudgingly and with a promise of murder in his eyes. 

Apparently, the cold medication was exactly what he needed. While he isn’t at one hundred percent, he feels the best he can remember feeling for the last week. His achy bones are no more, and he can even breathe through his nose a little, picking up the lingering scent of his mate all over his body.

A loud noise from out the hallway catches his attention, and Mountain realizes that he had the best nap of his life in the green room of the venue they were set to perform at tonight.

Except, no one else is hustling around in the usual pre-show panic.

The green room is usually filled with excitement and adrenaline, packed with bodies, as Swiss hogs the mirror to apply his black lipstick. But it’s empty, the remnants of the pre-show hurricane evident.

Mountain hears the opening rift of Kaisarion and bolts up from the couch, looking around wildly for his costume, but it’s nowhere to be found. He can’t believe they didn’t wake him up, what the actual fuck is going on. 

He gets to the side of the stage much quicker than he would have in the state he was mere hours ago, looking out from the wings as his band feeds the energy to the crowd before them.

His eyes shift over his pack, watching as they back up Papa who’s already pandering to the sea of people. A crash of cymbals pulls his attention to the back middle stage, to his drum set.

It’s like a punch to his gut, but in the best way possible, seeing who is undeniably his mate, in his costume, playing his kit.

Zephyr isn’t a small statured ghoul by any means, it’s just that Mountain’s well… Mountainous.

His costume fits his mate poorly, they’ve rolled the arms up, displaying the sleeves of delicate illustrations depicting the fall of Christ, ink woven in their skin that Mountain has spent countless hours admiring. The pant legs bunch up where they fall, too much extra material with nowhere else to go.

Mountain’s heart skips a beat when he realizes Zephyr is shoeless, exactly how he normally performs.

It shouldn’t surprise him that Zeph is a natural, they’ve spent long hours in the rehearsal room with Mountain, watching him work through tricky sections or just putting his own twist on Papa’s work. He’s filled with love, admiration, and just an all-around feeling of mine while watching his mate perform with his pack.

Mountain eventually just settles on the ground of the side stage, sitting cross-legged and just enjoying the show from his secret little viewpoint. He laughs along with the jokes Papa pulls out of his ass, his smile unshakeable as he watches Dew tease Rain from this angle. Swiss is chaotic, he usually only sees him leave his platform from the corner of his eye, unsure of what exactly the multi ghoul gets up to, but now he has his answers. He’s usually so focused on his own performance he doesn’t get the chance to just sit and watch the magic happen, and it is magical, the atmosphere they craft together and the beautiful music they create.

During Miasma, Zephyr opts out of a solo in favour of handing Dew and Phantom a drumstick each. Mountain grins wildly, watching lovingly as Zeph orchestrates with their free hands while keeping rhythm with the kick drum. They encourage Dew and Phantom to bang away at the snare and cymbals, Mountain cringing slightly at the force of some of the hits. A little wear and tear won’t tarnish the memory working its way into the deep recesses of his brain though, as the utter joy and happiness bubbles over into a delighted, trilling laugh when Zeph tosses him a smirk and secret little wave.

[thelampisaflashlight]

The Forest Groans

[A dream, a looming deadline, and a grisly murder... Or, this year's Samhain festivities are primed to be something especially sinister. Depictions of gore below.] Below the cut.

"Raking leaves, again, today?" Mountain muses as he stalks through the weeds, the groundskeeper at his side playing hell at picking burrs -which he no doubt has coating his overalls- off of her pantlegs.

"Most likely," she says, tossing aside another sticky hitchhiker, "they're good compost, so I don't mind."

The ghoul nods, breathing in the crisp morning air, slightly damp from an overnight shower, and adjusts the sleeves of his sweater to let a bit of the cold slip in beneath the still itchy material, soothing his skin.

Milne is dressed in a bright yellow jacket, standing out amongst the dulled hues of the forest and dying fields of tall, dry grass; Her hair blows about her head in the breeze, and it's that gentle ruffle that reminds Mountain of the passage of time.

Earlier that year, it had been him who had taken up the clippers to shear those brown curls down into near nothing, taking care to smooth his hand over the soft fluff and wipe away all the itchy bits that landed on her neck and shoulders.

The sun had only just begun to hang itself high in the sky, but already, she had felt too warm with only an inch or two hanging down past her ears, and Mountain, terribly hot in his winter fur, had likewise wanted to shed his coat, so he could understand the desire well enough.

But now Fall was here again, and Milne's hair had grown into a sort of formless bob that curled up at the ends and seemed to be in constant motion.

One strand in particular sat atop her head like an antenna, sticking straight up, but remaining soft and pliant when poked or pressed against her scalp by a broad hand.

Occasionally, Mountain would do just that, smoothing his palm over the mess of it, and the woman would grumble, but then sigh and let him continue petting her like an aged barn cat; Unaccustomed to such affection, but appreciating it nonetheless.

As they carry on through the fields leading towards the abbey, Mountain having risen early so that he could cross them once before in darkness so he might share breakfast with the still waking gardener, the two fall into an easy silence.

Milne's boots crunch lightly against the frost covered earth, and the ghoul sniffles now and then, the cold causing his nose to run.

As uneven soil turns to carefully leveled gravel, the pair part ways, the giant turning right to head back towards the stairs leading down into the ghouls' private courtyard, giving the human a gentle wave, watching her lift her hand and utter a small, almost regretful goodbye, before vanishing from his sight.

Walking towards the backdoor, Mountain spies someone leaning against the brick wall leading further down, still, into the dorms; Swiss stands with a cigarette pinched between his fingers, smiling brightly when he sees his friend.

"Mornin', you're up early." He remarks, tamping his ash down onto the concrete slab beneath him, "Business or pleasure~?"

Mountain snorts at his teasing, but joins him against the wall with a thoughtful hum.

"Breakfast with a friend." he says plainly, using the edges of the mortar to scratch his back, "Why are you awake?"

Swiss shrugs, but his brows pull together, pensive, "I had a... I guess you could say I had a bad dream."

"Bad enough to send you out here to smoke after you tried so hard to quit last year...?" the other questions and Swiss, looking at the burning ember in his hand, lets out a dry laugh.

"I guess so." he says, dropping the offending item onto the ground and crushing it under his heel, "It was just so... fucking real."

"Tell me about it?" Mountain offers.

"See..." Swiss mumbles, "I don't know if I should."

"Hm?"

"You were in my dream, and it was like..." Swiss brings his hands up and then makes little explosions with his hands, "...Ya know?"

He shakes his head.

"I don't know." he replies, raising an eyebrow, "If you can't tell me what it was about, could you tell me why you can't tell me?"

Swiss makes a noise in the back of his throat and then nods.

"Sometimes, I get these dreams that aren't really dreams; They're... possibilities. Things that could actually happen." he says, "Omens, and not the fun kind."

"The future isn't set in stone," the multi-ghoul continues, "but intentionally interfering with it by telling you would only lead to more trouble down the line."

Mountain frowns gravely.

"What would you suggest I do then?"

Swiss pulls the pack of cigarettes from his pocket and takes one of Mountain's large hands between his own, pressing it to his palm.

"First, you can throw these out for me, I don't want them, shit tastes like black pepper on the tongue," he half jokes, "...and second, just be careful, yeah?"

Mountain feels the paper crinkle as he squeezes the box tighter.

"I can try." he assures his friend, "...Was there anyone else in your dream?"

Swiss nods.

"It was a full cast." he chuckles, "Everyone gathered 'round like it was some kind of party..."

He toes a loose pebble.

"...What was the name of the friend you were with just now?" he asks, peeking up at the earth ghoul, "Just out of curiosity..."

"Beatrix Milne." Mountain supplies, "Why? Was she in your dream, too?"

Swiss tilts his head back and breathes a heavy sigh of relief.

"No, thankfully, she was not.... Her name doesn't start with C."

.

.

.

Dew rises at exactly 7:30, swatting at his alarm clock, and missing three times before he smacks it onto the floor for the fourth time this week.

He's had a rough night, multiple, in fact, since the start of the month, full of tossing and turning and an inability to sleep.

A deep disquiet in his soul making it near impossible for him to shut off his brain and get any rest whatsoever, and from the sounds of shuffling feet in the corridor even earlier this morning, he wasn't the only one.

He'd stirred briefly when Mountain rose to make his way to the gardener's cottage for their Sunday morning breakfast, something he'd occasionally tag along to when he wanted to eat in a more relaxed environment, but he'd chosen to stay in bed when Mountain's low, sleepy voice had voiced a simple "Hm?" inviting him.

Dew had simply rolled over and snuggled back down in his blankets, yawning as his dormmate went about getting dressed in the dark, and tried, and briefly succeeded in, going back to sleep.

Now he lays awake, tired eyes fixed on the ceiling, already scrubbed of the Sandman's leavings, and considers what to do with his day.

A muffled grumble in his gut tells him he should probably start with breakfast himself and see where the morning takes him from there, but a more pressing weight in his bladder says pee first.

His body complains as he sits up, his head lolling side to side as he rolls his shoulders, shivering slightly as the comparably colder air of his bedroom meets his sleep warm skin.

It's too early for the abbey's caretakers to be thinking about turning on the heaters, despite the cool mornings, it still gets hot enough in the afternoon that the heat would be unbearable by the time lunch came around.

As he heads into his bathroom, Dew thinks about the trunk filled with blankets on Mountain's side of the room, and considers borrowing an extra one to make his bed more comfortable, and that thought reminds him he should probably strip his current sheets away and send them off with whoever is doing the laundry today, and then he should...

Mundane thoughts carry him from his bedroom to through the commons and then to the kitchenette where the coffee pot sits empty; Usually, whoever wakes up first will start the coffee, but he'd give Mountain a pass since he can never seem to get the ratio right.

Speak of the devil, Dew hears the rattle of the exterior screen door followed by the heavy groan of the interior one as the giant makes his way back inside, followed by a tired looking Swiss.

He's acknowledged with a grunt and a nod as the pair sit down on the opposite side of the counter, with three of them now awake and moving about, it's only a matter of time before the rest of the pack does, too, so with a stretch and another healthy yawn, Dew decides to set about making breakfast for the lot of them.

Mountain, who already ate, politely excuses himself to begin his work for the day, but not before filling up his travel mug with coffee and giving Dew an appreciative pat on the shoulder.

It's after he's left, and before the rest come shambling in, that Swiss lays his head down on the counter and sighs.

"Having trouble sleeping, again, huh?" Dew comments knowingly, reaching over to slide the weary ghoul a mug and the spiced creamer from the fridge along with the eggs for breakfast.

Swiss nods, face squished to the marble.

"Bad dreams or just restless?" he asks, watching the multi ghoul sit up and shuffle his stool closer to the counter so he can lean over it while sipping his coffee.

"Bad dreams..." Swiss says, adding more creamer until his drink is almost white with it, "Not worth getting into, but it's, ya know, it has that bite to it..."

Bite.

"Ah." Dew nods, knowing exactly what he means, "And you don't want to talk about it?"

"Maybe later, when I'm more awake."

"If it makes you feel any better, I haven't been sleeping all that well myself..." he admits, picking a bit of shell out of the scramble he's making, "We're only a few weeks out from the sabbath, and only a couple days out from the hunter's moon, so that's probably it."

Swiss shrugs, warming his fingers around the mug.

"If that were the case, I'd expect the other quint mixes and full blooded quintessence ghouls to be going insane right now, but Aeon sleeps like a rock, and Aeth's still snoring away across the hall..." he laments jealously, "Nah, I think..."

He places a hand over his chest pensively.

"No... No, I know it has to be that."

Dew stops cubing up bits of ham for the scramble to hand a slice to his friend, who nibbles on it graciously.

"Maybe you should talk to the siblings then." Dew suggests, wiping his hands on a stray dish towel, "Get a beat on the human side of things..."

Swiss considers this for a moment; Dew and him, being hybrids -the offspring of humans who laid with demons- felt their elements differently to typical ghouls, and thus related more spiritually to their mortal relations than their demonic ones, so, asking the siblings could help sort things out, but...

The ghoul clicks his tongue.

"My dream involved... There was a human in my dream, someone close to the church, so I don't want to make anyone worry." he says, running his index finger over the rim of his coffee mug, making the gloss squeak, "It'll pass."

He waves his hand about dismissively and Dew decides to leave well enough alone and changes the topic.

"I was thinking we should all watch a movie later-"

.

.

.

By the time Bea is done raking the leaves, she can see one of the siblings ascending the bell tower, signaling that it's time for lunch; The abbey, although modern in some regards, had kept the bell system for keeping time out of tradition, and, more honestly, aesthetics.

Digital clocks don't look as grand and lack the mystique of analogue, but Bea will admit to checking her watch instead of trying to understand the positions of the hands.

That was one thing she'd never quite got a handle on, even if it was easy enough to learn, she, ironically, never had the time to sit down and do so.

Setting the rake aside, Bea removes her gloves, tucking them into her front pocket, and joins the growing line of siblings of sin headed indoors towards the mess hall.

Normally, she'd pack a small lunch and eat outside, but today she has a midday meeting with the so-called man in charge to discuss the upcoming Samhain festivities, and a container of hot soup made a better threat than cold bologna.

Every year, Copia would propose greater and grander ideas for the holiday, and every year Bea would have to talk him back down the earth in regards to practicality and budgets, but she holds onto the false hope that this time he'll request something a bit more... subdued.

Since Sister Imperator's passing, the once Papa, now newly dubbed Frater Imperator, has been quiet, not in the sense that he hasn't said much -he still talks in that familiar, excitable manner she's grown accustomed to- but in that he's seemed more... introspective.

Thoughtful.

Bea, too, has felt strangely calm these last few months, but on her end, the thing keeping her "level" was her health; She'd begun to feel weak around the end of the summer, and progressively more so since the fall season had begun, making it difficult at times to keep up with her work.

More than once, Mountain had urged her to speak with the medical staff about her sudden fatigue, but there really wasn't much they could do for her, since her affliction wasn't one that could be easily fixed through bedrest and medicine.

The woman thinks about her contract with the ministry, of the deal she agreed to without hesitation.

A deal which had sparked several arguments and then finally some level of acceptance from her friend.

They would discuss this, too, during their meeting today, but it wouldn't be for long, and would act as the conversations singular tangent before the bargaining and begging began.

...Or at least that had been the plan, until an ear piercing scream has her nearly dropping her soup all over the floor.

A crowd of siblings are gathered in the main hall around the statue of Baphomet, which looms ominously over all of them.

It takes a moment to process what's going on, but when she does, Bea is horrified.

A head sits upon the statue's lap, eyes missing from their sockets, and at the base, the body that had once been attached to it is posed kneeling before it, hands bound in a prayer like position.

Bea breathes in harshly, feeling the blood rush from her head, her heartbeat becoming erratic as the gathered siblings begin to shout in unison.

"Who is it?!"

"What's happened?!"

"Is that blood?!"

"Is this real??"

It's too much.

It's really too much.

Bea sets her lunch aside and marches towards the front doors, shoving them both open with a loud bang.

Others follow suit, the panic turning into static as the gardener pulls off to the side, stumbling into the hedges to throw up.

"Christ's sake...!" she hisses, wiping her mouth on her sleeve.

Someone needs to call the police...

She reaches into her pocket, but a hand wraps around her wrist, staying her own.

"Easy now, let's not act rashly." a cool monotone voice whispers in her ear, "Let someone else handle this."

Bea blinks, an icy chill shooting up her spine as she turns to see Mr. Psaltarian there, his grasp on her arm growing firmer when she doesn't immediately release her phone, "R... Right."

She breathes, and the older man releases her, instead laying his hand upon her back between shoulder blades.

"Your meeting with Frater Imperator has been effectively rescheduled until tomorrow." he says, "You should head back to your cottage for the rest of the day and get some rest."

"But-"

"Do not argue with me, Ms. Milne." he warns, and Bea straightens up at that, nodding, "Very good. Go get yourself cleaned up, I'm sure you'll have a visitor or two later today."

Bea covers her mouth as another wave of nausea hits her.

"And remember, Ms. Milne, when they ask about what you saw here today-"

"I saw nothing." she says, swallowing thickly, and Psaltarian smiles broadly, "Nothing at all. I went home early because I was sick."

"Indeed."

.

.

.

By sunset, news of the death of one Sister Camille has spread through the abbey like wildfire, and Swiss feels it burning in his very chest; His anxiety over his dream had him thinking that the "C" from it would have been Copia, he'd be half certain about it, but, then again, even from the perspective he'd witnessed the death from, he could tell the person had been wearing a habit in retrospect.

Guilt sinks into his belly like a lead weight, and turns him off his dinner and Dew's proposed film for the evening, The Nun, but not enough to stop him from sprawling across he couch and letting the fire ghoul scratch his long fingers through his curls, soothing him to sleep.

His dreams are almost eerily peaceful and calm.

Elsewhere, Mountain finds himself back at the cottage, the dishes from breakfast still sat in the sink as he frets over his sickly friend, who seems paler and sicker than he'd seen her in some time.

Her eyes are distant, dead almost, but when he asks her if anything is wrong, she replies wearily that she's fine.

But she's not.

Mountain thinks to ask her if she'd heard the news about the sister of sin who died, but decides against it, it's not something he should bring up so casually, nor burden her with when she's feeling ill.

Instead, he heads over to the cabinets and gathers everything he needs to make his special blend of tea.

Something warm, but soothing, easy on the stomach.

Bea lets out a little whimper as the kettle begins to whistle.

No, she doesn't need to be thinking of that sort of thing at all right now.

And yet she is, unbeknownst to him, she is.

But she won't tell him that, the lingering chill of Psaltarian's touch on her back reminding her to keep her mouth shut.

Mountain rubs her back in the same spot when she says it hurts.

She tells him nothing.

[mamadarama]

Off topic from previous ask but you ever look at how ridiculour Madara's stats are? You telling me this guy is born and he's just physically gifted strong? Tall? Buff? Okay whatever... Next you know he can play multiple instruments and it's the least you expect of him. Him playing a cello??? Violin??? Okay he can't get any more ridiculous right— he's fluent in multiple languages, English only being one of them. You're telling me this guy likely knows my mother tongue because our language is just somewhat up there in the list of languages japanese people learn. You're telling me he'll take me anywhere and boom he goes "yeah I speak the local language I can read this Chinese menu for you. Italian? Piece of cake. Norwegian? Ahh a little hard but (speaks fluently)". And then you learn about his multiple seacraft and aircraft licenses like my man can drive a MILITARY HELICOPTER?.??????? A BOAT???? YOU'RE 20 WHEN DID YOU HAVE THE TIME TO DO THIS???? (Then again I haven't been able to access his older stories so there might be a mention where he was just taught to as a kid of the Yakuza whatever. And you remember this man, out of all things, is an IDOL. He's a solo one too and a fairly decent one at that, enough to hate being compared to because he's skilled. HOW DOES HE HAVE THE TIME FOR THIS. YOU'RE NOT EVEN 20. Okay he might be barely 20 now BUT STILL.??? HE'S RIDICULOUS. DONT GET ME STARTED ON BEING A SUCCESSOR OF ONE OF THE 5 ECCENTRICS REI MOTHERFUCKING SAKUMA... He's... An explosive...

- Madara yume anon 🍀

OK SO HERES THE THING WITH THAT. obviously hes a swiss army knife of a man, jack of all trades, etc that much is clear. but its fully his choice to be this way. some stuff is coincidental of course, like his body type is just like that (although he does still work out) and some of his skills he learned as a necessity of being kanatas caretaker/bodyguard (martial arts probably, smuggling magazines for kanata to read), and traveling alone as much as he does, being fluent in multiple languages is not optional. but then theres stuff like operating heavy machinery.... and fighting with weapons... and basically everything else. why would he need any of that? well thing is, he hates himself. his self worth is entirely reliant on his ability to be useful to other people .

when you have a long term relationship with someone, especially if it spans a part of both your childhoods, you grow into each other like a skin graft. if one person is cut away from the other because theyre unable to be there for some reason, the place they occupied will eventually heal over.... and when they come back, there will no longer be a place for them. theyre replaced by new skin, or something like that. like, when madara was exiled and forced away from kanata, he eventually met chiaki, who filled every role madara used to fill (including the one in his family— i believe chiaki and madaras mother are on good terms but dont quote me on that i dont remember where i got it from) and when he managed to get back to japan, he was superfluous, which is a fate worse than death to him. so he learns how to do anything and everything, hoping that at some point one of his skills will be useful to someone and hell have a reason to live again.

tldr; madara knows how to do so much on purpose because the more things he can do, the more opportunities there are for being able to help people. and the more obscure skills he knows, the more irreplaceable he becomes, safeguarding him from becoming unneeded in his friends lives despite his constant absence .

as for the successor thing we still dont really know what rei means by that, cuz according to ritsu madara has been coming over their house for "successor business" for years, even before the war (i think) so it very well could have absolutely nothing to do with idol stuff . maybe its just an excuse to have crazy gay sex idk lol

[titlemewickedwonderland]

Ghoul Game Night - Mountain

Summary: Being a new ghoul in an established pack wasn't easy. But her new packmates wouldn't let her off the hook by ignoring them. So what's the best way to break the ice than to play a little game of Truth or Dare?

Fandom: Ghost Band

Pairing: Mountain X Ghoul!reader (a hint of Poly!ghouls x ghoul!reader at the end)

Warning: Sexual tension, cute awkwardness, fluff, and…Mountain.

Workshop

The bottle was spinning so fast her eyes couldn't keep up. Y/n blinked a few times to get the tension out of her eyeballs as she felt they were damn near about to cross. Was she nervous to find who the bottle would land on? Of course! But she was also kind of scared about what she would pick out. She knew Aether was a safe choice - he was the kindest she'd known who'd openly tried to make her feel welcome in the pack. Rain and Mountain kept mostly to themselves but their silent acts of kindness helped ease her into the dynamic of the band itself. Dew and Swiss - well the pair of them were unpredictable and flirty. They were the ones that embodied the sex appeal ghouls possessed to the point Y/n swore that they must have some incubus in them. But would they actually force her to do anything that she didn't want to? That would be beside the point of getting to know her new packmates after all, no she knew they wouldn't force anything. They may be dirty-minded but they weren't savages after all!

"Y/n?" Aether's voice brought her back from the depths of her thoughts and she looked up startled to meet the familiar violet eyes of the quintessence whose eyes swirled with concern. "Thought we lost yah there. You with us?"

"Y-yeah, I'm sorry!" Y/n spoke nervously as she clenched the blanket and looked down realizing that the bottle had stopped spinning and that it pointed to the side of her. She looked over to find Mountain peering back at her calmly; giving nothing away in his expression as he patiently waited for her to get with the program.

"Oh…OH!" she straightened up feeling a blush on her cheeks. "I'm sorry, spaced out there a minute." her tail wagged slightly behind her when she realized that Mountain was her partner. Good, seemed Satan did hear prayers after all. That was a relief. Mountain was a safe choice for sure. Who would think anybody like Mountain would be a risky choice beneath the soft eyes and quiet demeanor?

"Which one would you like to do guys?" Aether asked tapping on the boxes in front of him expectingly as his orbs flicked from one then the other; a certain gleam in them telling Y/n he seemed far too interested in the choices than he probably should be at this point.

Y/n bit her lip looking over at Mountain but the gentle giant merely shrugged his slender shoulders. "I'm okay with either Y/n. Go ahead and choose." he rumbled softly and Y/n smiled at him with warmth; see a safe choice. He was a gentleman through and through.

"You know what…I think I'll take a truth and Mountain can do a dare." she hadn't seen Mountain push out of his shell to do much and she was wondering what his personality was like outside of his love for nature and music; she would probably kick herself in the ass though if the Ghoulettes had anything to say on the matter.

"Alright." Aether grinned flashing his golden tooth before he was digging into the boxes. "Mountain your dare is…Do a body shot on your partner."

Y/n's eyes widened comically and her cheeks flushed a dark color but when she looked over at Mountain the tall ghoul didn't seem to be affected as she was by the dare making her question whether or not he was as innocent as she first thought; hell she hadn't even seen him drink alcohol before.

"I'm a little scared to know my truth." Y/n gave a little laugh that showed off her nervousness as she chewed on her bottom lip wondering if she should have taken the dare instead; no going back now though - no take backsies here.

"Don't be."

"You should be."

Dew and Mountain spoke up at the same time causing Y/n's eyes to widen and she looked between the two; their replies doing nothing to help the butterflies of nerves to settle in her belly. But Aether waved it off and shot the ghoulette a warm smile which she tried and failed so miserably to return.

"It's okay, we always do something stupid so don't feel too embarrassed if you get one you weren't expecting. Remember, you always have a choice to decline and take a shot." he pointed her paper at her and the female looked towards Dew as if she was weighing the option. But that would be fair to Mountain if he still ended up having to do the dare while she chickened out so she took the plunge not wanting to be labeled a coward.

"I think I'll need one anyway. You know… to settle the nerves and stuff." she offered a weak smile but Dewdrop was all on it as he snatched the bottle of liquor from behind him and grabbed the single shot glass on the floor beside it - pouring her a generous shot. She reached out with a small smile and tossed it back with a grimace trying not to gag at the burn.

"Alright, you ready for your truth Y/n?" at the female's hesitant nod the quintessence looked down at his paper. "Y/n your truth is…" Aether turned his gaze back to the ghoulette. "What's your wildest fantasy?"

The female's eyes widened and she held out the shot glass towards Dew again with a puffed-out breath. He snickered as he refilled it and watched as she tossed it back with the same sharp-toothed grimace on her face. She seriously needed that extra burn if she was to be honest.

"The girls certainly know how to break the ice with new people," Y/n grumbled sliding the cup back to Dew with a sigh feeling the liquor burn and warm her belly from the inside; she knew ghouls had a high tolerance for human alcohol consumption even those who did not drink often but she cursed that small perk because this was not a conversation that she wanted to have on a sober night.

"Do I have to answer?" she bit her lip feeling her cheeks warm.

"You can always take another shot." Swiss interjected grinning at her but she waved it off.

"Sorry Dewdrop but you have a terrible choice in liquor. If I take one more of those shots it's coming back up." the ghoulette muttered as she rubbed her eyes as if attempting to hide her burning face.

"Would you like me to do my dare first? Would that make you feel better?" Mountain leaned over towards her and she peeked at him from beneath her hands; her ears twitching backward in embarrassment.

"I didn't think you drank Mountain…" she confessed

The big guy shrugged again. "I don't do it often. I prefer smoking." he confessed leaning back on his palms as he studied her.

Something about his gaze made her rethink her idea that he was a safe choice. He was a ghoul, after all. She shouldn't kid herself thinking he'd be a safe bet. Her teeth sank into her bottom lip as she stared up at him in silence wondering how they should do this. Would he do his dare first or should she answer first? How did one go about having a conversation like that?!

"You going to stare each other down or get to it?" Dew snarked from across the room causing Rain to grab a pillow and toss it at the fire ghoul.

"Hush! Don't pressure her! This is her first time." he chided

"First time huh? Do be gentle Mounty! She's a virgin to body shots." Swiss shot the Earth ghoul a wink causing a scowl to edge the tall male's face in disapproval even if he knew it was all in good jest.

"Shut up!" Aether raised his voice and clapped his hands. "Come on! Let's do this one right! Mountain you go first alright? Dew grab that table." Aether rose to his feet and grabbed a blanket off the floor.

Y/n watched warily as Dewdrop dragged the coffee table across the floor to the center of the room and Aether folded the blanket; draping it on the wooden surface. The girl stared at them and then at the table as if she was about to offer herself up for a sacrifice. She winced at the image but the gentle nudge beside her from Rain made her spur into motion as she scooted over and rose to her feet looking down awkwardly.

"S-so I just..lay down?" she offered lamely feeling her tail twitching erratically from her nerves.

She felt Mountain's hulking frame behind her moments before his hands rested on her shoulders and his chin pressed between her horns; a rumble of reassurance vibrating against her back. "Lay down on your back on the table."

"Do-Do I have to take anything off?" She tipped her head up to look at the male who cocked his head at her in amusement.

"Do you want to take anything off?"

"No…." she shook her head a little

"Then don't." Mountain shrugged again before nudging her forward half a step urging her to lay down.

With all eyes on her now Y/n turned around and warily sat on the edge of the table; catching sight of the others watching with a mixture of amusement and interest as she swung her legs onto the tabletop and tried to lean back but in her awkward state she'd misjudged the size of it and found herself leaning off of the edge.

Two large hands gripped her ankles and playfully jerked her back down until her legs dangled off the edge and pressed against the floor while her upper half rested on the table with her head just barely hanging off. She yelped in surprise and looked up at the towering male above her; his height and angle made him block out a bit of the light fixture so all she saw was his silhouette dark and intimidating above her.

Shuffling beside her made her turn her head to find Dew and Swiss beside her. The multi-ghoul held up a small stack of mini glasses and she wondered where the hell he'd managed to find those while they were using shitty solo shot cups all this time. But then a pair of warm hands grasped the hem of her pajama shirt and slowly slid up; the rough warm palms sliding up along her sides and ribs taking with it the shirt until it bunched just below her breasts. She looked down to find Mountain half bent over her as he maneuvered the shirt out of his way. He flashed her a little smile as she giggled nervously not used to being this close to him.

As he moved back Swiss placed the gold shot glasses one by one down onto her exposed stomach. One right on her naval that was left exposed from her yoga pants, one in the center of her stomach; the feel of it weighted and cold caused her abdomen muscles to clench but Swiss merely hushed her and patted her hip before placing the third and last shot glass right below her sternum (his hand might have not so accidentally brushed against her breasts as he pulled his hand away) and to distract herself she craned her head to look for Aether as she tried to stay still.

She found Rain by her head and when she met his eye he flashed her a little smile and reached down to boop her nose causing her to giggle; she was glad that at least someone was trying to ease the nerves she felt but Dew was quick to playfully smack her leg with a chiding remark.

"Stop it! You'll spill the good stuff!" she glanced down to find he was starting to fill each shot glass as carefully as he could while it balanced on her exposed torso and she flushed a bit; her eyes closing in embarrassment at being pretty much splayed open for them like some kind of sacrifice on an alter.

"I-I thought the dare said only a shot…not three." she said trying not to breathe too deeply in case she spilled the glasses.

"Meh." Dew shrugged and Y/n had to stop the snort she wanted to let loose as she looked toward Mountain.

The tall Earth ghoul was standing back watching silently but his expression gave nothing away. When Dew was done those not part of the dare shuffled back to watch. Breathing as shallowly as she could so as not to spill the liquor but she tensed when she felt warm hands on her knees.

"Hey, blossom open your eyes." Mountain's voice murmured causing her eyes to peek open hesitantly to see he was standing before her spread knees. "Eyes on me."

She did as he told her. Transfixed as he bent down over her. The first shot glass disappeared between his lips as he took hold of it; never once breaking eye contact as he lifted his head slightly; just enough to tip the liquid down his throat - the audible sound of him swallowing the mouthful causing her breath to hitch as he idly took the glass from his mouth and handed it to Dew.

She could do nothing but lay there as he shifted higher; his breath tickling her exposed belly as he shifted upwards towards the next shot. Had his green-blue eyes looked this pretty before? She couldn't recall as she watched him wrap his lips around the second shot glass rim and tip his head back again to swallow the contact. It was then she felt his hands press again her sides as he shifted even closer. His knee came up to press onto a sliver of the exposed tabletop between her thighs as he bent over her further.

"So, Y/n, would you like to tell me?" Mountain murmured - his alcohol-tinged breath ghosting along her sternum as he ascended a bit more.

"T-tell you what?" she breathed watching him entranced as he drew nearer to the third and last shot glass that was balanced just below the swell of her breasts.

His large hands gently took hold of her wrists and her arms were suddenly thrust above her head to dangle over the edge of the table and making her gasp in surprise at the motion; the position caused her to arch a little and thrust the glass up higher along with her breasts making her feel rather vulnerable and far more exposed than before as her bunched up shirt shifted even higher; exposing the undersides of her breasts teasingly - she cursed her decision to not wear a bra tonight but she wasn't expecting to be dragged into such a lascivious game!

The motion also caused a bit of the fireball to spill from the glass and she felt the cold drops run down her sternum and rib. She bit her lip trying to keep her breath even as she watched his every move.

"What you're wildest sexual fantasy is." Mountain supplied as he idly - with little hurry, dipped his head to lick a stripe up her stomach from where the fireball had spilled causing her breath to hitch and her eyes to fall closed at the feel of his warm wet tongue against her skin.

Her hands clenched above her head and she felt soft fabric against her hands making her eyes open again and her head to fall back to find Rain standing by her head again. She latched onto his pants for support and he reached down to idly stroke his long bassist fingers through her hanging locks.

"W-Well if it's the truth…" she licked her lips nervously as her cheeks flushed when mountain rose up again to be in her viewpoint; his fingers gripping her chin to tip her head back so that they could stare at each other.

"Hmm?"

"I-I don't know." she shook her head a little bit.

"You don't know?" one brow rose as he bent his head down again but this time to press a sweet little kiss to her flushed cheek. "Don't tell me you haven't had some wild fantasies before when you're alone in your room, Y/n." he murmured teasingly when she whined and turned her head to bury her face into his neck.

"Well…n-nothing to count as….wild." she confessed as he felt his large hands expanse the entire of her ribcage idly stroking along her sides.

As he drew way from her and ducked his head again to lick up the small trail of liquor that ran down her ribcage that he'd found she tried to regulate her breathing but when she spoke her words came out shaky.

"B-But this probably would be on that list."

"Yeah?" his eyes flashed up at her and she bit her lip nodding shyly causing his lips to curl upward into a grin as he tipped his head at her; his shaggy hair tickling her sternum as he chuckled.

"Good." he finally lifted up enough to wrap his lips around the last shot glass but whether it was on purpose or the alcohol in his blood he missed and it tipped a bit; spilling it more on her exposed skin before he managed to grab it from falling completely.

"Damn, there goes the good stuff." Y/n could hear Dew mutter from somewhere in the room.

But Mountain didn't see it that way. Instead of taking the rest of the shot he held it out towards Dew and when his hands were free he tugged her shirt up slightly more making her squeak as the cool air of the room dried the liquor on her skin but it was quickly followed by the warmth of Mountain's tongue as he lapped up the spilled droplets along her flesh causing her to let a little moan slip and her hands to tighten on Rain's thighs as she tried not to reach for Mountain.

She felt hot. Itchy beneath her skin. The feeling of such a large body draping over her; protective as much as it was provocative was making her feel squirmy; small beneath him as Mountain cleaned her up with his tongue alone. It was only when a wet stripe caught the curve of her breasts that one hand finally released Rain in favor of sinking her fingers into the lush thickness of Mountain's hair when she whimpered at the contact.

He seemed to be enjoying himself far more than she had thought he would. She briefly wondered if this was what kind of lover he was. A big fucking tease. When she tugged on his hair a little she felt the rumble of his low moan against her skin and she peeked down to see him looking up at her from behind his messy hair and her jaw went slack. Why did he look so goddamned good like that?

"C-can I make a request?" she found herself asking.

"Keep looking at me like that and you can have anything," he muttered placing a kiss on her stomach.

"Kiss me?"

He lowered himself a bit and kissed one exposed hip bone and then the other. "But I am."

"Mountain!" Y/n yanked on his hair causing him to hiss as his head was jerked backward a bit so that his face was lifted from her skin and her breath stopped in her lungs at the dark look that overtook his eyes just from his arousal alone. He wasn't as unaffected as he wanted to play off.

"Please." was that her needy voice? Well fuck. She heard the groans of the others in the room as they too took in the way her voice sounded so full of need from just how turned on she was.

"Fuck it." Mountain rose swiftly to his feet and yanked her up before hauling her over his shoulder causing her to yelp in surprise. "The game's over, boys."

The others stared open-mouthed as the tall lithe figure stalked from the room; moments later - his bedroom door slammed shut locking himself and their new little packmate within for the night.

"Damnit," Swiss grumbled crossing his arms. "There goes my chance."

The others were silent for a moment looking at each other before Dew snickered. "Fuck no. I'm not missing the show." he left the room and it took only a few seconds for Aether, Rain, and Swiss to stare at each other before they shrugged.

"What an ice breaker." the trio barged into the room without a preamble for a night of fun.

What a way to end a game night. The Ghoulette sure knew what they were doing all along; playing each and every member like a fiddle. Y/n realized real quick why the siblings enjoyed the ghoul's company that night. And she couldn't even care to be mad about it. Not when she had 5 pairs of mouths, hands, and other appendages to keep her occupied.

Thank you all for reading Ghoul Game Night! Mountain ends this mini-series with a bang and I hope you guys enjoyed it! Don't forget to like, reblog, and comment to show support! <3

[xxcallmemaryxx]

Would you be willing to do some headcanons with fluff/comfort (suggestive/nsfw if you want) of the ghouls (separately) comforting a plus size reader going through a spurt of insecurity?

I LOVED you thick thighs/plus size hcs and I just feel really bad about myself after a photo shoot today even though I’m usually pretty confident

First and foremost… I want to make it so clear that our ghoul boys are OBSESSED with their plus sized partners. You’re gonna look at me and tell me that these demonic creatures from hell don’t immediately become a puddle in your hands when they finally *finally* get to press their face into your soft stomach?

You’ve got Mountain who literally drools every time he sees you. He just wants to ravish you every time he sees you it’s insane. You’re so soft and warm and he just wants to sink his claws into your beautiful body and keep you forever. He is a tall boy, and even though he may still tower over you, he is just overtaken with pure adoration every time he wraps his arms around you. He feels even more powerful with you by his side.

Dewdrop is a very intensive lover, but my god is he proud of his relationship with you. He shows you the fuck off, he can barely control himself when you’re feeling confident. And if you’re struggling with that… he is going to spend as long as it takes and even more than that showing you how SEXY you are. He will worship every inch of skin, and he will take his damn time making sure he loves up on you better than you’ve ever been loved up on IN YOUR LIFE.

Our good boy Rain is more of a private lover, but don’t let him fool you. He may be a little more reserved when you two are out and about together, but with every waking second he is just itching to get you alone. Most of the time he has to physically stop himself from pressing his face into whatever part of your body he can reach the quickest, much like Mountain he just wants to absolutely devour you every time he sees you.

Swiss is a fucking menace. He doesn’t care what time it is, where you are or what you’re doing. If he even gets the *slightest* peak at your beautiful thick thighs he is practically humping the air. He, much like Dew, just wants everyone to know that he is yours. He will sink his fangs into the softest, meatiest parts of your body and claim you over and over and over again. Then he will parade you around the abbey and show anybody who just so happens to be around that he is a very very very lucky ghoul.

Aether tries to be as respectful as possible when it comes to any insecurities you may be having about your body, he would use his very last breath telling you how fucking gorgeous you are. But only you know how he really gets, only you know how feral Aether is deep deep down. He is a confident ghoul, but he just feels so comfortable with you. Like he never has to question what you think of him, and he never has to think about what others may think of him because he knows that if anybody is going to yank any thoughts right out of his head it’s gonna be you. You just bring eachother up more and more every single day and as a result… he’s become so head over heels for you he makes you forget you were ever feeling insecure in the first place.

[alittlepudge-neverhurtnobody]

kinktober #28

Plagued 🐀 / Movie(/TV) Star 🎥

echo is back from hiatus @athl0chunk  is it just me or is does ben get bigger with every season of bake-off | trella 💃 @howlatthemoonpie i think its every episode at this point lol

til-u-wobble 🔁 shhhyoudidntseeme

[Two images of Bake-Off judges Ben Kenobi and Satine Kryze on set in the iconic tent. The first image is several years old; the tent’s pastel banners indicate that it’s from the first series. Here, Ben and Satine both smile as they pose in front of a baking station. Satine is a tall, slender white woman with a wavy blonde updo who is wearing a dark teal dress and jade jewellery. Ben, a white man whose dark blonde hair and beard verge on ginger, is slightly taller and wears fitted dark jeans and a charcoal-grey sweater with a blue chambray collar popping out at the neckline. He is slender but for a slight paunch around his middle. In the second image, they stand in a similar pose, though this time they’re smiling at each other, rather than the camera. Satine looks largely the same, while Ben is much, much heavier. His smile emphasises his round cheeks, and his double chin is just visible beneath his beard. He wears a dark green sweater and his jeans are of a similar wash to the first picture. His clothes fit him well and don’t attempt to hide his plump belly and thick hips. One chubby arm rests around Satine’s shoulders. He’s too round for his other arm to sit flat against his side. The purple of Satine’s dress is just visible behind Ben’s bulk, as if she has her hand in his back pocket.]

#omg he got enormous 😍 #you’re so fat (affectionate) but to ben kenobi specifically

3,240 notes 

cheezitenjoyer 🔁 plumpeachpear

plumpeachpear:

SWISS ROLLS …….. ben walks into the tent looking like THAT and they’re going to look these 12 innocent people in the eye and tell them to make SWISS ROLLS???

#oh amidala we’re really in it now

59 notes

unduly persecuted for my correct opinions @lumixnara well i WAS going to have a nice evening watching bakeoff with mum but NOW i guess i will have to walk into the sea ….!

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kallie 💖💛💙  @springform_pan  putting this out there now: the ship name for ben and satine should be #cremepatandchill | Rafa Martez @cheetochopsticks  omfg yes

h/c dumpster denizen 🌈 @bikewheels2thicc  i can’t believe Anakin hasn’t made a Big Ben joke yet?? low hanging fruit and he DUCKED

norra 👽 @ignorra_me  not me learning to bake so my man will look like that 😩

Roo Page @pageroo  omg they are sooooo married #cremepatandchill | Roo Page @pageroo  the bickering!!! the Looks!!! @bakeoff my little banter-loving heart is so happy #bakeoff🧁 | Roo Page @pageroo omg and it turns into a little cupcake when you use the hashtag 😭 ADORABLE

sinning📍super hell @my_assive_mass  ok i cannot be the only one thirsting over ben kenobi’s tight shirts tho … that popped button has me WET | sinning📍super hell @my_assive_mass  yes i logged into my horny alt to tweet this WHAT OF IT

✨ Sugi ✨ @SoSugiSays  i just want ben kenobi to raw me while i shove pastries into his mouth is that too much to ask | ✨ Sugi ✨ @SoSugiSays  cannot express how deeply i hope that they never make ben kenobi do one of those reading thirst tweets interviews bc the things i have twote about that man … i am not seeing heaven … | farrah @my_onaconda_dont  NO because i just know he would get so red and flustered :>

time-to-size-up ​​🔁 stretchmarks-r-us

[An image of Barriss Offee standing at her Bake-Off station. She is wearing a white T-shirt, a light brown apron, and a black hijab. She is squinting at the sheet of paper holding the technical challenge instructions, which she is holding less than a centimetre from her face.]

#me and the girls analyzing every gifset of ben kenobi for The Jiggle™ 

233 notes

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Dr. Pudge @bibfortuna normal people at 2am: sleeping me at 2am: so you can actually tell that he’s gaining weight during the season by looking at how in s5e1, his sweater is smooth/unrumpled, but by s5e6 there’s a lump over his belly where the button has come undone under his sweater. in this essay i w

borkus (derogatory) @jaspermcknives  ben kenobi looks like he eats all the bakes himself and honestly i love that for him. we stan a fat king

kiera 🦢 @dimple_simp  OH MY GOD DID HE BURST A BUTTON ASFJDLASFLKJFA;S | thot cross buns @karinathegreat  look at satine lOOK AT SATINE

peli @pelicantweet yeah i’m into GBBO G ben’s Gut B ursting B uttons O ff

vintage lesbian @kallmeklaya oh satine is not beating the little freak allegations this week

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Fat Bucky Truther @letta_turmond oh that chair is a choice he is STRUGGLING … 😳🥵 ben my man it is time to size up

poggle the lesser @pillsburythighrolls  SO THEY??? CHOSE??? NOT TO EDIT THIS OUT??!!? LIKE?!?! THIS IS NOT LIVE TV?!?!?! | jinx 🏳️‍⚧️ (xe/xir) @peach_gobbler  they did that for us 😭😔✊ | poggle the lesser @pillsburythighrolls THANK U POST TEAM WE ARE EATING TODAY | jinx 🏳️‍⚧️ (xe/xir) @peach_gobbler  yeah and SO IS HE

Jen June 🏳️‍🌈🌌 she/her @thefatkosmos  the bake-off chair thing isn’t funny, it’s fatphobic. if your show is backed by a massive international streaming giant, you have no business not providing your stars with furniture they can safely and comfortably use, never mind FIT IN. 🧵 1/?

eleni @vanillaxxxxtract  a short recap of tonight’s bake-off episode 🙈: 💁🏼‍♀️💁🏼‍♂️🖋🍩👩🏾‍🍳📏🥐👨🏼‍🍳🎪🥮🧑🏽‍🍳👱🏻‍♀️👨🏻‍🦰🪑💥🙇🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♂️🌟👩🏾‍🍳😅😰😱😳🤯🥵😵 | eleni @vanillaxxxxtract  yes the end of that is me having a horny meltdown what about it you can’t stop me from living + livetweeting my extremely trashy truth

thelovehandlehandler 🔁 slurpin-and-glurpin

ratsummer:

satine. bestie. i love you and i need you to know from the bottom of my heart that everyone watching bbc2 rn knows exactly what your kinks are

#EVERYONE WATCHING BBC2!?! EVERYONE WITH NETFLIX GIRLIE #WE CAN ALL SEE YOU!!!

520 notes

korkie @korkryze guys can you please make it through ONE episode of bakeoff without getting weird about my aunt

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jedi mind trix [she/they] @beatrixbaking omg they literally got him like a giant reinforced chair holy shit  | siri @hey_siri AND HE’S STILL OVERFLOWING IT

projectguttenberg 🔁burpsmakemeblush

onlyalittlevanilla:

Ok but I actually do want to talk about Ben Kenobi from GBBO bc I think it’s cool that they don’t really treat/shoot/talk about him differently even though he’s gained weight. I can count on one hand the number of fat people I’ve seen on TV who tick all of the “actually fat not just Hollywood fat,” “well-dressed and respected and not treated as a slob,” and “considered to be at least generally handsome by the narrative” boxes at once. And it’s so refreshing to (a) see a celebrity chef who actually looks like they eat/enjoy food and (b) see a fat person get to talk about and eat and enjoy food on TV without it being stigmatized somehow! If I had to guess I’d put him around 350-ish lbs (~158 kg or 25 st for my non-USAmerican followers) and that just feels REVOLUTIONARY for mainstream TV! If he were in a sitcom he would get pigeonholed into some stupid weight loss storyline like that poor beautiful girl from that other show and here in the tent he just gets to be an expert in his craft and have insane chemistry with his costar who obviously thinks he’s the hottest thing since sliced bread and I LOVE IT. 

#YEAH LIKE #im gonna need whoevers running bakeoff right now to start doing every other genre of television #put fat people in everything and LET THEM BE HOT

5,391 notes

doublechinsforthewin 🔁projectguttenberg

onlyalittlevanilla:

Ok but I actually do want to talk about Ben Kenobi from GBBO bc I think it’s cool that they don’t really treat/shoot/talk about him differently even though he’s gained weight. I can count on one hand the number of fat people I’ve seen on TV who tick all of the “actually fat not just Hollywood fat,” “well-dressed and respected and not treated as a slob,” and “considered to be at least generally handsome by the narrative” boxes at once. If I had to guess I’d put him around 350-ish lbs (~158 kg or 25 st for my non-USAmerican followers) and that just feels REVOLUTIONARY for mainstream TV! If he were in a sitcom he would get pigeonholed into some stupid weight loss storyline like that poor beautiful girl from that other show and here in the tent he just gets to be an expert in his craft and have insane chemistry with his costar who obviously thinks he’s the hottest thing since sliced bread and I LOVE IT. 

doublechinsforthewin:

NOT TO MENTION that how refreshing it is to (a) see a celebrity chef who actually looks like they eat/enjoy food and (b) see a fat person get to talk about and eat and enjoy food on tv without it being stigmatized somehow?? And idk it just gets me that they have clearly made accommodations for him (ie chair, more fans during hot weather, fiddly stuff on edges got rearranged after he bumped into Jocasta’s jar of flour) rather than having him lose weight or something. His contract must be absolutely insane but clearly someone is fighting for him and I love when you can kind of see it bleed through from behind the scenes

#like it means so much to me #as a very fat person who also bakes for a living #my personal headcanon is that satine is his pit bull for stuff like this but obviously i have no proof lol

5,394 notes

Jen June 🏳️‍🌈🌌 she/her @thefatkosmos okay, you know what, they did ok with this. they listened, took accountability, and got the man a decent chair. good for them.  | Jen June 🏳️‍🌈🌌 she/her @thefatkosmos  the bake-off chair thing isn’t funny, it’s fatphobic. if your show is backed by a massive transatlantic company AND a streaming giant, you have no business not providing your stars with furniture they can safely and comfortably use, never mind FIT IN. 🧵 1/? | Jen June 🏳️‍🌈🌌 she/her @thefatkosmos should it have taken a whole ass twitter debacle instead of like. literally anyone on set clocking that his chair was too small? PROBABLY NOT, but. yanno. hollywood 🙃

d0ugh-duchess 🔁 dontjuststandthere-bustanut

[An image of Ben Kenobi and Satine Kryze on the set of Bake-Off, discussing who will win Star Baker and who will be eliminated this week. Satine, a thin, blonde, white woman, sits in a delicate white chair with curly armrests at a round table draped in a robin’s egg blue tablecloth. Ben, a fat white man with strawberry-blond hair and a beard, sits across the table from her in a much sturdier-looking white chair without armrests. Between them are the four remaining contestants’ bakes from today’s challenges. Satine’s chair is pulled in close to the table, and her elbows rest on the tabletop, but Ben sits back in his chair, his ample belly filling his lap.]

#ngl i kinda miss the eps where he was still trying to fit into that teeny little lawn chair 😅 #listen im a simple woman with simple needs and mainstream media fulfills NONE OF THEM #pls don’t drag me for this that’s why i put in the tags #god can’t see it if you put it in the tags!

4,677 notes

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484 by tummyrollsss

The Great British Bake-Off RPF

No Archive Warnings Apply, Obi-Wan “Ben” Kenobi/Satine Kryze, Obi-Wan “Ben” Kenobi, Satine Kryze, Weight Gain, Light Angst, Belly Kink, Belly Rubs, Feeding Kink, Hand Feeding, Fluff, Established Relationship, Body Worship, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Stuffing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Praise Kink, Dirty Talk, (feedist version), Burping, Hiccups, fat Ben Kenobi, like he’s FAT fat, you have been warned, dom!Satine Kryze, making that a tag, i just think she’d like to be in charge!, the author’s barely disguised numbers kink, no beta we die like ben’s chair

After the chair fiasco, Satine wants to see how much bigger Ben can get before the season is over.

Language: English   Words: 19,302    Chapters: 10/10    Comments: 31    Kudos: 303 Bookmarks: 55    Hits: 7,721

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toastwithextrabutter 🔁 thebstandsforbbw

thequeerfeedress:

me seeing “gay representation” on tv: thats not me

me seeing sat!ne kr¥ze quietly lose her shit on gbbo every week: shes just like me fr

849 notes

obiroundkenobi 🔁 himboswithhiccups

[A photoset of six screencaps from series 5 of Bake-Off. The photoset is captioned “Satine Kryze gracefully white-knuckling her way through feedist hell 1/???” Top left: Satine and Ben Kenobi listen as Kit Fisto describes his signature bake. Ben’s big belly rests on the counter of Fisto’s baking station. Satine looks perfectly normal except that she is clutching a rolling pin for literally no reason. Top right: Ben cutting himself a sizable second slice of Barriss Offee’s pineapple upside-down cake with his free hand resting on the plump curve of his belly. Satine, just visible behind him, is smiling with her mouth while her eyes do a thousand-yard stare. Middle left: Ben smiles good-naturedly as he brushes powdered sugar from near the hemline of his sweater and accidentally reveals a sliver of the bottom curve of his belly, straining against the pale blue button-down he’s wearing underneath. Satine is all the way across the tent, but she’s looking at him nonetheless. Middle right: Satine and Ben sitting across from each other at the judges’ table after the showstopper, mid-conversation. Ben is very clearly too big for the little white garden chairs but is valiantly wedged in despite the fact that the armrests are basically lost in his side rolls and his hips are so wide that they’re overflowing the seat. Ben is carefully leaning forward to pull a plate toward him, while Satine holds a knife and fork and has cut the petit four on her plate into about eighteen pieces. Bottom left: Ben with his eyes closed in pleasure after taking a bite from one of Steela Gerrera’s signature hazelnut-cardamom creme brulees. Satine is looking on perfectly affably, but host Anakin Skywalker is looking at her with one eyebrow pointedly raised. Bottom right: Ben and Satine sit at the judges’ table, a split second before that really obvious cut. Ben is spilling out of his little garden chair and his face shows a look of slightly panicked surprise. Satine is just starting to jump up from her own chair, one hand thrown out toward Ben like a life raft. The fingers of both her hands are splayed wide, and although it’s not verified by the episode’s subtitles or closed captions, her mouth forms a word that looks a lot like “Fuck!”] 

#god is she dying up there i would be dying #shoutout to satine kryze for living out all of our kinkiest dreams #we love you queen #bakeoff #creme pat and chill

6,905 notes

chouxpersizeme 🔁 thickfrosting

thickfrosting: 

god i hope they just. let bakeoff keep (d)evolving into a feedist wonderland afjalskdfj. last week: wildly obvious camouflage bc ben popped a button on air. this week: unsubtle cut bc bens chair (?!?) broke (?!?!?!?!) when he sat down. next week: satine rubs bens belly and he burps onscreen. during the final they reenact The Cake Scene from matilda. lets keep this going for the love of god this is the most alive ive felt in months 

#RIGHT THOUGH I FEEL INSANE #feels like watching yuri on ice as it was airing #us every week: THEY DON’T MEAN- THEY CAN’T- THEY’RE NOT GONNA -??!??! #yoi creators every week: lmao fucking WATCH US #looks meaningfully at netflix #WELL??? ARE YOU GONNA?!?!

3,879 notes

[ghuleh-recs]

Do you have any more murder ghoul fics?

hell yes, anon. you know i do. some of these will pop up again for rectober. sue me ♡♡♡ (also thank you for your patience. i was out of town this weekend and am catching up on my asks!)

murder recs under the cut - proceed with caution.

Picnic - @iamthecomet - cirrus x cumulus

If you thought I was going to go through the whole of mushy may without having the ghoulettes eat someone you were sorely mistaken.

Lost Lamb - @coffeeghoulie - phantom x swiss

"Let me do it." Aeon snarls behind their helmet. "I can hunt on my own. Don’t need your charms.""Oh, buggy." Swiss sighs. "I just want to help. Let me help you bring her in, and I’ll let you have the first taste." Or Aeon's first hunt up top.

give me mercy no more - @v-ternus - dew x swiss

Day 3 of Kinktober-- Blood Summary: Swiss drinks. Dew cums. Simple as that.

untitled ficlet - @forlorn-crows - mountain x zephyr

mountain's first hunt w/zeph. you know they gettin' cute and frisky with it

I developed a taste for you - @sonnenflamme - aurora (dusk) x cirrus x cumulus

The sister is cute. Almost as tall as Cirrus and so very full of pride for being “welcome” among the ghoulettes. She looks young, like she probably is in her early twenties. Not that it really matters all that much, compared to Ghouls her life is nothing. And she is so blissfully unaware of her fate.

untitled ficlet - @miasmaghoul - swiss & the ghoulettes

ask: oh swiss and the ghoulettes definitely stalk the sisters of sin together that’s become canon in my mind after you reblogged that hunter’s moon video

⛧ browse my other murder ghoul recs here.

[everybodyshusband]

nothing to help the writer's block than writing a shitty, shitty, no stakes crack fic :)) inspired by @run-of-the-milf's post about the ghouls doing a "most searched questions" video

rated T or M (i'm not sure which but there are sex jokes so...?), 1k words, no warnings apart from the fact that this is so so stupid sdjhf

~

As soon as the red light begins blinking at him softly, Swiss steps out from behind the camera, grinning widely. He gives Cumulus a thumbs up and the ghoulette begins to speak.

“Hi, I’m Cumulus and these are the ghouls from the band Ghost, and we’re here for the Wired Autocomplete Interview!”

“Wait,” Rain interjected. “Are we allowed to call it that if it’s not the official Wired one?” They had in fact conducted an actual interview with papa earlier that day, but it had been a stilted, official one, with all of them standing silently behind Copia as he did all the talking and referred to them by their official Nameless Ghoul titles. They were all excited to do this one together and be as silly as they wanted to, not having to worry about appearances whatsoever.

“Eh, who cares, it’s not as if this one is being posted anywhere,” Swiss argued. “We could fuck on camera and the only place it would go outside of our pack would be Copia’s office computer.”

Aurora’s head snapped up. “We’re gonna fuck on camera?”

“If we’re gonna fuck on camera, then why do we have all these chairs set up?” Dew teased, trying to let the multi ghoulette come to the correct conclusion on her own.

“I dunno…” She looked at him with wide eyes. “Should I have prepped myself or something?”

Mountain scuffed Dew over the back of the head. “Stop teasing her,” he reprimanded, but his eyes were sparkling with mirth as he turned to explain what was actually going on to her and a very concerned looking Aeon.

“I wasn’t!” Dew tried to counter, which only rewarded him another bonk on the head, this time from Cirrus.

“How about you shut up and we start the interview?”

“Great idea, Cir,” Swiss grinned. “Here, dirt boy, catch!” He threw a poster board at Mountain, who fumbled to catch it before it hit the ground.

Mountain shook his head in amusement. “A little warning next time, Swiss?”

“Nah,” the multi ghoul shrugged. “It’s funnier to watch you struggle.”

“Who’s this one for anyway?” Mountain asked.

“Me, I think,” Dew said, reading his name in the search bar. “Go on, ask me my questions, Mounty.”

The earth ghoul sighed. “Fiiiiine. This first one is just your name so…” He peels off the first bit of paper. “Dewdrop ghoul… Hah! Dewdrop ghoul height.”

Swiss cackled from behind the two of them, earning a heavy thwack on the thigh. “How tall exactly are you, Dewy?”

Cumulus tried and failed to suppress a laugh. “What is it the fans say? Two sauce packets tall?”

“You’re all so mean to me!” Dew cried out, but he was suppressing his own tears of laughter.

“It’s okay, Dew,” Rain said soothingly, patting him on the back and making the fire ghoul purr happily under the attention. “I know you’re actually three sauces tall.” The satisfied smirk on Rain’s face paired with Dew’s reaction was well worth the lecture (read: gentle chastising) they all knew they’d be getting from Copia about the noise.

“Oh, fuck you!” Dew screeched. “I fuckin’ hate this game…”

“You don’t wanna use this chance to tell us your real height?” Aeon asked, curiously.

“I’m a demon from Hell,” Dew mumbled, still pissed off. “I don’t have to tell you shit.”

“It’s because he knows he’s short,” Swiss stage-whispered into Aeon’s ear, making sure the entire pack could hear.

“How about we move onto the next one before Dew burns the Abbey down?” Mountain teased. “Dewdrop ghoul… Hands. Why are people so obsessed with your hands, Dew?”

“Because they’re fucking hot,” Aeon, Cirrus and Rain murmured in perfect unison.

“...Before anyone gets too horny,” Dew said. “Let’s move on. What’s next?”

“Swiss and Sodo dick grab,” Mountain read off the card. “And the next one down is also: Dewdrop and Swiss Watcher in the Sky.”

“What can I say,” Swiss smirked. “The people love me grabbing the little guy.” He punctuated his statement by reaching a hand forward and rubbing his hand over Dew’s chest possessively, winking at the camera. On Dew’s other side, Aeon blushed.

“What did I just say about getting too horny, Swiss?” Dew shook his head, laughing. “Let go of me, heathen. We’ve still got questions to answer.” He brushed Swiss’ hand off of him. “Any more for me, Mount?”

“Don’t think so,” the earth ghoul replied. “Next board please?” Rain chucked him the next one and Mountain immediately laughed out loud as he peeled the first bit of paper off. “Cardinal Copia gay,” he read out, causing the entire pack to also burst out laughing.

“Well, he definitely wasn’t gay last night,” Cumulus smirked.

“Oh really?” Rain asked. “He was for me last week…”

They both dissolved into laughter and turned their heads towards each other, no doubt exchanging notes about their Papa’s preferences in the bedroom.

“Moving on…” Mountain said. “The next one is… Rain and Dewdrop choking.”

“Oh God,” Rain said, closing his eyes and tipping his head back.

“Good one, Dew,” Aurora teased. “You’ve got him so worked up about even the idea of your choking stunt onstage that he’s forgotten he works for a Satanic Ministry.” She turned to Rain and flicked his head back up. “God’s not here, Rainy.”

“...Aaaaand on that note,” Cumulus said, clapping her hands together and grinning, struggling to contain her laughter. “We’ll stop there!”

Aeon wasn’t not so lucky in the containing laughter department, having thrown his head back and cackled enough to have fallen off his chair with an oof.

“Okay, uhhh,” Cumulus started again. “Thank you for watching our interview–”

“Even though the only people who are going to watch it will be us,” Aurora interrupted.

“–And hopefully one day we’ll be back to answer more questions,” the air ghoulette finished. “Goodbye!”

Dew lunged at Swiss for making another short joke, teeth bared. The camera fell over as he collided with the multi ghoul and the screen went black.

[rununcal]

Honestly I really love the idea of the Reclaimation Team from Gobb. It presents a time in between “everything’s fine” and “all hell breaks loose” where they have enough time to start warning employees about the imminent danger, and even have time to enlist employees on offense to try and dispel it, and where the rest of the facility is implied to be running normally. The facility clearly thinks they can still handle their own creations.

The other thing is the fact that they just put a case on the team. They just enlisted three people and one 2-meter tall Irish monster because he’s a literal Swiss Army knife. Do you think him and the rest of the Reclamation Team talked? What did they talk about? Did he ever accidentally elbow a member and give them a concussion? Was he bullied? Did they bully the 2-meter tall Irish monster?

Anyways, the Reclamation Team is awesome and I hope they do more with it in the future. I appreciated the goofy-ass Case 8 tape and hope they make more (case 6 case 6 case 6 case 6 🙏)