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terreisa · 4 years

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Love Down the Line: Epilogue

The last thing Indie musician Emma Swan needs is a gigantic wrench thrown in the workings of her biggest tour to date weeks before its launch. When her backing guitarist that caused the problem says she has the perfect solution Emma is skeptical but left with little choice but to accept. Unfortunately she isn’t really prepared for said solution to be former Rock Star and leading man of Emma’s teenage fantasies, Killian Jones. With no other options and a month of performing across the country ahead of her Emma just hopes she doesn’t come to regret letting Killian onto her stage and into her life.

Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7, Ch 8, Ch 9, Ch 10, Ch 11, Ch 12, AO3

~*CS*~

Los Angeles, Three Years Later

“You know, the last time I was here they only gave me those itty bitty bottles of water.”

Killian laughed to himself but kept his eyes trained to his phone. He knew if he looked up the love of his life would be scowling at the unnecessarily large bottles of expensive water lined up along the counter of the green room they were waiting in. Emma Swan was prone to many wonderful things but graciously giving up on a grudge was not one of them.

“The last time you were here you hadn’t won five Grammys in one fell swoop. When I was doing the first interviews with Realm of Jewels we were lucky to get cups of tap water. We thought a slice of lemon was the height of luxury.”

“Yeah, well that was what? Three hundred years ago?” She teased, moving across the room to flop down beside him on the couch with a huff, “They should at least have a water cooler or something. Reusable bottles are the way of the future.”

“First you complain about the water they’re providing and now you’re complaining about the one their not? Can they do nothing to please you?”

He looked over at her with a raised brow and she gave him a smirk.

“They fired Walsh so that’s a step in the right direction.”

“Thank bloody fuck,” he growled, turning back to his phone with a scowl.

Emma had eventually told him the full extent of what had happened the day of her interview with Walsh Hoakley. Not only had the wanker reported gossip as though it were truth, which caused the brief falling out between him and Emma that had made them both miserable, but the berk had hit on her not ten minutes after. When she finally had told him, only a few days after they had reconciled, it had taken an hour for him to calm down and at least a week for her to convince him not to fight her battles for her. The news of Hoakley’s firing less than a year later had been celebrated with a sparkling cider toast.

“So-” Emma peered over his shoulder and he felt some of his tension melt away, “What’s got you paying more attention to your phone than the expensive goodies they’re trying to get on our good side with?”

With a snort he tilted his phone towards her, “Just going over the contract one last time.”

“We have a fancy lawyer for that don’t we?” She asked crossing her arms as she sat back, “And Ruby wouldn’t try to scam you. I mean, look what’s happened since she decided to become my manager instead of staying in my backing band.”

“Well, aside from those five Grammys I mentioned-”

“What?!” Emma’s brows shot up and her mouth dropped open in clearly feigned shock, “I won five Grammys? I had no idea!”

“Hush, love, you deserved them and I’m honored to brag on your behalf,” he chided though he gave her a wink, “Although, I don’t rightly think we can give Ruby the credit for that.”

She scoffed and burrowed further into the couch, “If she hadn’t forced me to let you audition then we wouldn’t have met. Then we wouldn’t have had our grand romance that in turn inspired In the Middlemist and I wouldn’t have won those Grammys.”

“I believe that we would have met eventually, love. If not through our careers then we would have certainly been invited to Ruby’s wedding where I would have been immediately smitten with the blonde in the crimson bridesmaid dress,” he said lowly, pleased to see her cheeks flush.

“And I probably would have freaked out even more meeting you for the first time there than at the studio. You know how much I like seeing you in a suit-” she said huskily, leaning up to press a soft kiss under his jaw. Then she sat back and smiled wide, “Even then Ruby would still be the reason we met. That’s why I dedicated it to her and not you.”

“Is that why? I thought it was because you were still upset with me over the tiny misunderstanding over your choice in vehicle.”

He gave her a knowing look and she glared right back at him. When he raised his brow in challenge she rolled her eyes at him.

“Fine, that was part of it,” she conceded, “But I did mention you in every acceptance speech.”

“Which was wonderful aside from the camera they kept shoving in my face to capture my every proud tear in HD,” he grumbled, remembering the repeated messages from Will that were just the GIF of him crying after Emma had said she loved him onstage holding her third award of the night. He blew out a breath, “As I was saying: aside from all that I will admit that your career has flourished under Ruby’s care. She has become quite the adversary of Regina, stealing her best clients away.”

“Regina’s over it now,” she dismissed with a wave of her hand, “Ever since you reintroduced her to Robin in a non-business setting and then moved to that corner office things have been great.”

Just as he was about to make a somewhat lewd comment as to exactly why both those things would put Regina in a good mood there was a knock on the door. It was opened a moment later by the intern that had initially led them there.

“They’re ready for you, if you’d like to follow me.”

He let Emma proceed him as he stowed his phone in his pocket. She was right, of course, Ruby wouldn’t dream of sneaking in last minute changes to the contract making her his new manager. If anything she would have been fine with a verbal agreement and the promise of making her the godmother of whatever child he and Emma might have. Unfortunately all of their fancy, and expensive, lawyers required things in writing and in triplicate.

The intern led them to a broadcasting studio that looked like every other one he’d ever been interviewed in. One glaring difference, however, was the radio host who squealed when she saw them and practically skipped towards them with open arms.

“Finally, you guys! I’ve been waiting all week for this!”

Emma laughed and accepted the hug easily, “Us too, Tink. Killian’s had it marked in all of our calendars the second Ruby booked it.”

Tink pulled back from Emma and gave him a wide smile, “I’d heard she finally got you to make it official. There’s no stopping her now.”

“As though there was a chance before,” he chuckled. “Lovely to see you again, TInk.”

“If you guys lived here I’d see you more,” she chided gently before stepping forward to wrap her arms around him, “Everyone’s still on for dinner tomorrow, right?”

“Of course, Will wouldn’t let us hear the end of it if we didn’t,” he scoffed, giving her a light squeeze before letting go.

“Great! I still can’t believe he ditched Emma to be in your band,” She said with a laugh, grinning broadly at Emma’s frown. Something over his shoulder caught her eye and she nodded before focusing back on them, “Alright, my producer’s about to throw a fit if we waste any more time. Go ahead and get settled while I do my thing.”

As he and Emma moved to the seats awaiting them Tink bounced over to her chair and donned her headphones. With a bit of awe and intimidation he watched Tink easily slip into performance mode, softening her accent and dialing up her enthusiasm as she introduced herself and the start of her broadcast block. She hadn’t been a DJ for long but he could clearly see she had found her calling. When she teased their interview she gave them an overexaggerated wink that had him stifling a laugh.

After two songs and a small promo of Enchanted’s other stations Tink gave them a thumbs up as her producer let them know that their mics were live.

“That was the latest from The Killers and I don’t know about you but I’m more than ready for their new album to be released. I’m Tink and this is Rock Alt, home to all the alternative rock hits here on Enchanted XM. Today is a very exciting day because in the studio with me, right this very moment, are two people that you should be very familiar with: five time Grammy winner and indie darling Emma Swan and two time Grammy winner and alt rock god Killian Jones. Once upon a time I toured with Emma as part of her backing band and on one of those more memorable tours Killian decided to join us. Welcome, welcome!”

“I can truthfully say we’re excited to be here,” Emma chimed in brightly, her grin wide and happy.

“Yes, thanks for having us, love,” Killian said warmly. “Though I feel it’s only right to mention that those two Grammys were won with Realm of Jewels.”

“Aw, it’s only a matter of time before they’ll be joined by plenty of others, especially with this new album-” Tink waggled her eyebrows and he had a feeling she wasn’t going to go easy on them just because she was their friend. “There’s no question that you two are more than just friendly collaborators, with a couple of writing credits on each other’s albums and a duet on Killian’s acoustic cover album of Realm of Jewels’ greatest hits. We’ve also seen the red carpet photos and Instagram glimpses of your romance.”

He looked over at Emma and received an eye roll in return. When they’d first truly started dating they’d kept it hidden from anyone that wasn’t close friends or family. They had both felt that they wanted to start their relationship without the hounding from the press and scrutiny from the gossip mongers. It wasn’t until nearly a year and a half later, when Emma had clearly been his date to American Music Awards, that they’d gone public. Even then they had both agreed that they’d keep their personal lives as private as possible and continued to do so. Including the fact that they’d been married for two years.

“But now you’ve released a surprise album as a duo,” Tink continued, “going by the name Charles & Leia, which also happens to be the title of the album. It’s amazing by the way and if any of you out there haven’t listened to it yet I suggest you do so, but only after this interview is over, of course. So, how did this come about and why Charles & Leia?”

Emma gave him a shrug and a nod and he leaned closer to his mic, “As you mentioned earlier we’ve been playing together for some time now. After that tour I was a part of we were both starting on our next albums and would often work through arrangements or fine tune lyrics, using the other as a sounding board. This has, as evidenced, continued through the years until one day we thought we might try our hands at creating a whole album together.”

“We didn’t want it to be an album of my songs featuring him or vice versa though,” Emma chimed in. “Then it would have just been the same thing we’d already been doing which would have been fun but kinda boring at the same time. We wanted to challenge ourselves to create something new together from the beginning. Luckily our label was open to the idea and let us run with it.”

“And the name?” Tink prodded.

“A bit of an inside joke, really,” he said with a chuckle, reaching over to clasp Emma’s hand in his, “Whenever we made reservations or had to give a name for whatever reason I used Charles and Emma used Leia. I don’t even remember why-”

Emma snorted, “When he made the reservations for our first date and they asked for a name he panicked. We’d been watching The Crown and he blurted out the name Charles. At least he didn’t completely lose his shit and say Elizabeth.”

Emma’s eyes widened at the curse and clapped her hands over her mouth. Tink waved her hand in dismissal. Not a moment later the producer let them know through their headphones that cursing was fine but to keep it to a minimum if possible.

“Anyway,” Emma said evenly, though her cheeks were pink, “When it was my turn to make reservations I kept it going. Princess Leia was my hero when I was a kid. Still is actually.”

“As she is for us all,” Killian jumped in, “Of course we no longer use those as our aliases but when we were trying to decide how we wanted to present ourselves for this album this seemed appropriate.”

“We also figured it would give people the chance to listen to the songs without already having an idea of what they thought it should sound like because they knew it was us,” Emma explained, “I mean, it’s not like we’re trying to deceive anyone or anything but a lot of times people don’t try something out because they think they know exactly what it’s going to be. I know I’m totally guilty of it sometimes.”

“I’ve been listening to the album non-stop since it came out last week and you’re absolutely right, if I hadn’t already known that it was you two I wouldn’t have even been able to guess. Now, I’ve played alongside both of you and have been a fan of each of your music since both of your beginnings and I have to say, Charles & Leia is nothing like the music you’ve released before. What would you say were the biggest influences on how you approached the creation of this album?”

Killian took a moment to consider Tink’s question. He immediately dismissed sharing the long convoluted answer that began with innocent questions about one another’s past that led to a months long search into the mystery of Emma’s beginnings that came up empty while he nearly spiralled out of control once more over the unhealed pain of his borderline abusive and neglectful father. They were still working through some of those issues in therapy and even with the personal nature of the songs they’d written he didn’t feel it was necessary to elaborate on what the lyrics already implied.

“I can’t speak for Emma but for me it’s a look to the past and what influence it has on the present and the future. Take the title track for instance, my mother was Irish so I looked to the old Celtic folk songs and the instruments used, mimicking the flow of the music before playing around with more modern sounds. The result was entirely unique but still felt familiar, like an auditory deja vu, if you will.”

Tink was nodding furiously while Emma rolled her eyes at him, “I definitely won’t be that eloquent but yeah, we both have things in our past that sometimes takes a toll on who we are today. Our music was already pretty personal. I mean, I’ve written songs about growing up in foster care or when I was in jail but this was something else. Every day when we finished recording whatever song we were working on I felt like I’d been turned inside out and then wrung out but in a good way? It makes no sense but I’ve also never been this proud of one of my albums.”

“Well you should both be damn proud! I may be the tad bit biased but I think this may be the best album to come out this year and we’re only halfway through,” Tink effused.

“Thank you lass,” he mumbled as he scratched behind his ear at the compliment.

He caught Emma’s eye and she gave him an indulgent smile. She was well aware that sincere praise always tended to discomfit him, as he felt he was undeserving of it, especially when it came from someone he knew well. It was something he was working on getting better at accepting, with her help of course.

“Since the album was a surprise release there hasn’t been any confirmation of a tour yet. Any chance we’ll be seeing you two taking this act on the road?”

“We’re doing a kind of a mini tour on the east coast and then a couple of dates out here,” Emma explained, her eyes sparkling, “We didn’t want to get too ahead of ourselves and book a bunch of dates and then not have anyone show up.”

“I doubt that will be a problem,” Tink dismissed with a bright laugh, “From what I’ve been told nearly every show is sold out. So if any of you listeners out there want to see Emma and Killian perform songs from this brilliant new album I’d say don’t wait to buy your tickets. I already have mine.

“Now, I know this album is only weeks old and you both have flourishing solo careers but I have to ask: can we expect even bigger things from you two in the future?”

With a smile he had no hope of quelling he gave Emma a wink, though he was reasonably sure that it was nowhere near subtle. It didn’t matter though, as no one had a clue what it could mean since she had only shown him the positive pregnancy test earlier that morning. Emma gave him a beaming grin of her own and he kept his eyes on her as he spoke into his mic.

“I think you can, Tink. In fact, I’m quite certain that this is merely the happy beginning of grand things to come.”

#captain swan #cs fan fic #cs fanfic #cs ff #captain swan ff #captain swan fan fic #captain swan fanfic #captain swan fan fiction #ouat ff #my writing

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buticancarryyou · 3 years

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Fic Writer Questions

@wincestismyheart thank you for tagging me in this. I love these kinds of things. Sorry it's taken me over a month to do it myself! Ha!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 27 works currently. I've deleted a few over the years.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

207,118. That's actually crazy to think about.

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Predominately, Supernatural. But I do write for Skam and its Remakes as well (Skam France and Druck currently).

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1) The First Time I Saw Your Face (263 Kudos, 4k, wincest) - I posted this one in 2019 crazily enough, so it's semi new and its also the only fic I have on ao3 that I attempted no promotion of. So how it ended up with the most kudos, is a mystery to me. This fic was a WIP for so fucking long and 2019 was a good year writing wise for me, so I was able to finish it up and post it. It's actually very endearing to my heart, because it's an over-compassing story in short glimmers of their love story from Sam's birth until Stanford!Era / Pilot.

2) Two Hearts, One Home (230 Kudos, 5k, evak - skam) - The first published fic for these two and it's literally just fluffy and porn. For some reason when I write them, I turn into a porn writing champion, which is a strange turn for me--as I usually struggle with it! Written in 2019.

3) Close Your Eyes & Make A Wish (203 Kudos, 7k, Datteo - Druck) - The first Druck fic I ever posted and it's a recanting of one of their episodes. I love Matteo and David so fucking much and they will always live in my heart. So happy I wrote this piece. Also written in 2019. (see what I mean about it being a good writing year?)

4) To Rise, We Must Fall (197 Kudos, 11k, Wincest) This was written for the 2014 reverse big bang. It was my first dip into challenges and I'm happy it exists because it gave me courage to attempt other challenges. I def don't think it's the strongest thing I've ever written, but I love it because it's Boy King related.

5) Treble Clef Confessions (191 Kudos, 1k, Elu - Skam Fr) - The first and only thing I ever wrote for Skam France. I don't anticipate writing anything in the future for them, but I do love this short little piece that reimagines a scene. This was also written in 2019.

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Oh yes, I absolutely do. I am so grateful for any comments I get, because unfortunately they are few and far between. I wish my readers left more tbh, because they just fuel my desire to keep writing. So I definitely love to take care of those that do, just to also encourage them to do the same for others.

6. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

There's two that I think of, but I'll go with the one that has had more responses from the fandom. Everything's For You was written in my earlier tumblr days for a tumblr challenge. The prompt was basically to imagine: “Dean says time is different in hell, but what if it’s not? What if Dean really spent 40 years in hell before Cas put him back to 2008? Write what 40 years without Dean may have looked like for Sam.” And well, things get a little sad.

7. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I feel like I try to make sure all of my fics end on a happy note, just because I like to make the angst so severe throughout the fic. Lol. But the Skam piece I am currently working on and isn't posted yet, is def going to be the happiest. So look out for, A Weekend To Remember.

8. Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you've written?

I haven't written one yet, not to say I never would.

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I wouldn't say hate, but I have had people challenge the way I write and say it's too flowery. People also try to correct the way I write Brother in Wincest fics with a capital B, but that's my creative freedom as a writer. They're not just brothers. They're Brothers. <3

10. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do write it, but it really depends on the fandom I guess. When I write for Sam and Dean, I feel like the smut I write is few and far between. Not that it's hard to write, or that I don't enjoy it--but I enjoy writing them without it. Sometimes I feel like it means just as much without it, because that's just them. But then I put my Skam glasses on and I'm suddenly on a smut roll.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge. I hope that never happens; I wouldn't handle that very well.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I would be open to it under the right circumstances.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nothing posted, but maybe between friends--yes.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

Def, Wincest. I don't care how far away from SPN I get, I walk by a flower stand and see sunflowers and with always instantly be reminded of Sam. I'll see wanderer things and think of Sam. I'll see leather candles and think of Dean. I'll see an impala on the road and think of the boys on the road in the middle of the night. I will always see them everywhere and they will always be a part of me.

15. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Probably the 900 J2 fics I've started. I want to finish one, but I usually get distracted and start something else.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think for me, it is dependent on how well I know a character...because if I know them like the backs of my hands, I can really get into the vein of them and write them well. The worst feeling for me is when I can't feel a characters voice as I write.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably that I get distracted entirely too easily. An idea will come up and I'll be all about it, write 10k of it and then think of something else. And then it'll sit in my drafts as a WIP for years, staring at me with pleading eyes and I just try my best to not think about the 'what-ifs'.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I try to stay away from it if I can, because to me it is distracting.

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Unpublished Nsync fanfic for sure. LMAO. But second fandom would be Supernatural.

20. What's your favorite fic you've written?

There's so many things I want to say, but in this moment, I can't help but think of: A Brother's Lament (A Slow Death). It was written for the spnj2bigbang for 2016 and it's probably the longest fic I've written, being that it's 46k. It is a love story to Dean's slow and maddening deterioration after Sam's death in Swan Song. Of how he tries to live the life he promised, but finds that he physically cannot do it. It's sad and violent, dark and upsetting, but I put my whole heart into it and it's not even the most well received thing I've written--but I fucking love it so much.

Tagging: @sammichgirl @nyxocity @hellhoundsprey and @homo-pink because they're some of my favorite writers. <3

#karridoesmeme #tag you're it #gonna stick this in my #karriwrites #tag for fun #if i didn't tag you and you want to do this #please do it!#i just suck and literally have no idea who i can tag anymore

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softbiker · 5 years

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Hey everyone!! As some of you know, I passed 900 followers a little over a week ago, and I’m so amazed! To everyone who follows me, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I’m so happy you’re here!

I turn 25 in one month (April 14), and I’m brainstorming a list of 25 goals for my 25th year and I thought...what better time to announce a writing challenge! Here are a few lists I made (in no particular order) of movies and songs and things that have brought me joy so far in my life - use them as inspiration! This is my first writing challenge ever and I’m so excited to host. Let’s get started!

Rules:

- Send an ask to request your prompt.

- Can be written for any Marvel character!

- Limit of 2 prompts per person.

- Due date: August 1, 2020. Tag me in your work and please tag #25 things challenge so that I can read and reblog it!

- No underage smut, incest or non-con. Other sexual content is allowed, but you must be 18+.

- Use appropriate warnings.

- No word limit, but please use the ‘read more’ if your piece is over 500 words.

Prompts are below the cut!!

Prompts

25 Movies:

1. The Princess Bride - @thestorydetective

2. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

3. Once Upon A Time in Hollywood

4. Cinderella (2015) - @blue-like-barnes

5. Room

6. The Exorcist

7. Breakfast at Tiffany’s

8. Mamma Mia

9. Suite Française

10. Baby Driver

11. Mad Max: Fury Road

12. Black Swan

13. Little Miss Sunshine

14. LOTR: The Fellowship of the Ring - @a-really-bi-girl with Bucky

15. Meet Me in St. Louis

16. Kill Bill

17. Clueless

18. Oh Brother Where Art Thou?

19. Braveheart

20. The Producers

21. Jojo Rabbit

22. Knives Out

23. Rear Window

24. How to Marry a Millionaire

25. Moulin Rouge - @firefly-in-darkness

25 songs:

1. “Heroes” - David Bowie - @nekoannie-chan

2. Still - Seinabo Say

3. Cold Arms - Mumford and Sons

4. Les Fleurs - Minnie Riperton

5. Say It Ain’t So - Weezer

6. Space Age Love Song - A Flock of Seagulls

7. Shine - Collective Soul

8. Glory - Dermot Kennedy

9. You Make Me Feel Like Dancing - Leo Sayer

10. Bad Ones (feat. Tegan and Sarah)- Matthew Dear

11. There She Goes - The La’s

12. Milk & Honey - Jessarae

13. Young Dumb & Broke - Khalid - @littledarlinwrites with Bucky

14. The Passenger - Siouxsie and the Banshees

15. Sing - Travis

16. Surrender - Cheap Trick

17. Oceans Away - ARIZONA

18. Let You Love Me - Rita Ora - @whistlingwillows

19. Just What I Needed - The Cars

20. Cool Again - Shoffy

21. Baba O’Riley - The Who

22. Friday I’m in Love - The Cure

23. Your Song - Elton John - @hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall with Steve

24. Sunflower - Post Malone - @imagine-all-the-imagines with Sam

25. Spirits - The Strumbellas

25 Things I Love:

1. The first cup of coffee of the day - @idjitmonkey with Clint

2. Watching the world go by in an airport - @justkending with Steve

3. Holding a baby - @that-damn-girl Rhodey x reader

4. The smell of honeysuckle - @buckyreaderrecs Bucky x reader

5. Driving with the windows down - @fanfictionaries with Bucky

6. Water rushing over your feet at the beach - @bluehenley

7. A fireplace on a winter day - @justkending with Steve

8. Waking up early - then realizing you can go back to sleep

9. The anticipation of starting a new book

10. Putting on a comforting movie when you’re sick

11. Dipping strawberries in chocolate - @mareli-carter

12. The glow of candles on a birthday cake - @elizabethren with Bucky

13. The weight of your blankets when you settle into bed

14. Fireflies on a summer night - @xoxabs88xox

15. Freckles across the bridge of a nose - @bluehenley

16. Coming home to an eager puppy - @anika-ann

17. Seeing a new city for the first time - @jbbuckybarnes

18. The smell of your favorite meal cooking

19. Taking your shoes off after a long day at work

20. Hearing your favorite song come on the radio - @your-persephone-writes with Bucky

21. Getting a hug from a close friend - @thatdrunkaries with Bruce

22. Laughing until your stomach hurts - then forgetting the reason why

23. Mixing up batter and then licking the bowl - @hqwkeyes with Bucky

24. Wearing someone else’s jacket and noticing how nice they smell - @imanuglywombat with Bucky

25. Putting on your favorite outfit and feeling confident

Tagging some friends and cool people who may be interested and help spread the word!

@nacho-bucky @bitsandbobsandstuff @heli0s-writes @jbbuckybarnes @kentuckybarnes @invisibleanonymousmonsters @ussgallifreyfics @evanstarff @interestedbystanderwrites @captain-kelli @sassy-pelican

#25 things challenge #25 things writing challenge #writing challenge

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inevitably-johnlocked · 5 years

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Do you know of any fics where John and Sherlock are married and captured and tortured/hurt?

Hi Nonny!

Oh gosh you know, I don’t really recall if any of the fics I have with this premise is of them being married. Perhaps some of my Lovelies will be able to refresh my memory? Otherwise I do have a small number of fics with torture tagged in them, so I’ll give them to you in the meantime

CAPTURE AND TORTURE

See also:

Kidnapping, Hostage, & Stalking

Kidnapping, Hostage, & Stalking Pt. 2

The Hours Before Midnight by Lady Sam Mallory (T, 7,773 w, 1 Ch.. || TGG Fic, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Torture / John Whump, Kidnapping, Drugging, Alternating POV, Worried / Protective Sherlock) – Moriarty doesn’t play fair. John must deal with hours of torment from Moriarty before going to meet Sherlock at the Pool at the end of the Great Game and Sherlock must deal with the consequences of his boredom.

Victim, Bait, Hero, Friend by KimberlyTheOwl (T, 7,887 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG Epilogue, Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Past Kidnapping / Torture / Implied Rape, Panic Attacks, Worried / Possessive Sherlock, Lestrade is a Good Friend) – Some insights into why John was perfectly willing to throw everything away for a chance to kill Moriarty at the pool. Trauma, ugliness, and finally healing. Some nice supporting work by Lestrade as well.

Nightfall by CKLizzy (T, 8,001 w., 4 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Nightmares, Depictions of Violence/Torture/Injuries, Bed Sharing) – Awoken by nightmares, John and Sherlock seek each other’s company at night. They find more than either of them knew they were missing. Part 1 of Solace

We are all together alone by Mildredandbobbin (M, 10,461 w., 18 Ch. || Mutual Pining, Implied Torture, PTSD, Child Loss, Post-S3) – John is back at 221B but his relationship with Sherlock is not what it used to be.

White Blank Page by SarahCat1717 (M, 11,936 w., 7 Ch. || Post-TRF, Clever John, Reunion Fic, Pining Sherlock, Letters, Fantasies) – Post-fall, Sherlock is off eliminating Moriarty’s crime web. He finds he misses John. He can’t divulge that he still lives, but he placates his need to communicate with John and still feel a connection with him by sending him blank letters. But over time, this writing exercise lends itself to Sherlock exploring his feelings for his friend. What will happen when Sherlock returns to London and the man he has been “writing” to regularly for the past two years? NOT S3 compliant. Mary who?

When to Let Go by KendylGirl (M, 22,109 w, 8 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, Reverse Reichenbach, Sacrifice, Forgiveness, Angst, Love, Implied Drug Use) – What if it were John who had to die to thwart Moriarty’s plans? John’s supposed death shatters Sherlock, and when he returns, it will challenge the pair to forge a path of forgiveness, to peace, and to find a way back to each other. Part 1 of When to Let Go

26 Pieces by Lanning (E, 28,236 w., 1 Ch. || H/C, Torture, First Time, Happy Ending, Schmoop, Past Abuse) – Mycroft gives Sherlock the apparently simple task of solving a puzzle box containing a stolen microchip. It isn’t simple.

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w., 9 Ch. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

A Home for Us by sussexbound (M, 30,581 w., 12 Ch. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Heavy Emotions, Clingy Sherlock, Hallucinations, Disassociation, Emotional Turmoil) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

Bloody But Unbowed by BeautifulFiction (E, 43,211 w., 8 Ch. || Abduction, John Whump, Mild Torture, Background Case Fic, Friends to Lovers, Post-TRF / S3 Rewrite, Hurt/Comfort) – When a familiar argument threatens to destroy the last remnants of John and Sherlock’s failing friendship, both men are left questioning their worth to one another. Before either of them has the chance to make amends, circumstance intervenes. John is left at the mercy of his abductors, and this time, he’s not sure Sherlock will bother coming to his rescue.

Inscrutable to the Last by DiscordantWords (M, 48,842 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, Alternate S3, John’s Blog/S3 is a Story By John, Divorce, Marital Difficulties, John is a Mess, Emotional Reunion, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Grief / Mourning, Pining John, First Kiss, Adorably Clueless Sherlock, Nostalgia, Love Confessions, Eventual Happy Ending) – He wasn’t Sherlock, he couldn’t work miracles. All he’d ever been able to do was write about them.

Lost Without My Blogger by starrysummernights (E, 52,155 w., 25 Ch. || Rev. Reich, PTSD, Hurt / Comfort, Fluff / Angst, Psychological Torture, Reunion Fic, Friends to Lovers) – John is abducted and declared dead. How will Sherlock cope without his blogger? How will he react when John comes back from the “dead?” Drama and angst with a healthy dose of romance. Part 1 of I’d Be Lost Without My Blogger

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w., 24 Ch. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn’t have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w., 43 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock POV, Eventual Happy Ending) – “For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face.” Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.

Shatter the Darkness (Let the Light In) by MojoFlower (E, 109,683 w., 23 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Genie/Djinn AU || Magical Realism, Kidnapping, Genie Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Case Fic, H/C, Angst, Clubs, John Whump, Mild DubCon, Hand / Blow Jobs, Torture) – Fairy tales are for those who remember how to dream; not John Watson, broken and hiding from his bleak future in a beige bedsit. But then he discovers a lamp and finds himself in the dangerous riptide of an enigmatic man whose very existence is unbelievable, murder charges against his sister, and the growing pains of feeling alive once more.

THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF JOHN WATSON by skyefullofstars (T, 110,758 w., 24 Ch. || H/C, Kidnapping, Angst, Violence, Whump, Nightmares, Murder, Drug Addiction, Torture) – While Sherlock grapples with his new-found feelings for John Watson, he faces a very real threat: John’s kidnapping and shooting at the hands of James Moriarty. And the knowledge that the love of his life is being used to test an addictive drug - at the risk of John’s sanity and life. Prequel to THE BOYS OF BAKER STREET. Part 1 of THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF JOHN WATSON

The Swan Triad Series by Pennin_Ink (T, 121,660 w. across 3 works || Swan Lake AU || Magical / Fairy Tale AU, Romance, Falling in Love, Pining, Psychological Torture, Transformation) – Sherlock and John grow up spending every summer together. Their mothers’ attempts to play matchmaker only fuel their mutual resentment and scorn. But then, one summer.

Ten Days by Engazed (E, 137,208 w., 31 Ch. || Rape/Non-Con, Post-TRF, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Torture, Case Fic) – Sherlock Holmes has been dead for forty months, and John is at last beginning to live his life again. But just when he believes he might be happy, his world crashes back down around him. John is named a missing person. Someone is pointing DI Lestrade in the wrong direction. And as the days pass, his situation only grows more dire. It seems like the disappearance of his best friend is the only thing that can bring Sherlock Holmes back from the dead. Part 1 of The Fallen

#steph replies #johnlock fic reqs #johnlock fic recs #torture fics #Anonymous #fic rec sunday #torture cw #kidnapping cw #e-rated fics

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chaospanics · 3 years

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⇢ APRIL PLAYLIST ⇠

I'm always late with these because I think I'll listen to more new records and then I never do lol. Some really solid releases came out in April, though:

BIG|BRAVE - Vital

Clearly, Big|Brave’s brand of sludgy, thrumming, noisy music is largely intended for a unique niche of heavy music enthusiasts, but it’s wonderful that a band like this exists for anyone to assimilate because not only do they challenge the boundaries of several genres, which is exciting, they shine a light on a number of relevant and critical issues that desperately call for more universal attention and digestion. In the end, it’s great if your overall goal for music / art consumption focuses primarily on entertainment and escape, but hails are undoubtedly due the artists that find creative ways to encourage us to reflect and progress. Vital is precisely the sort of record that does exactly that. (Last Rites)

Doused - Murmur

Taking cues from the masochistic volume of bands like My Bloody Valentine or Swans, Doused weaves hypnagogic whispers into a wall of lush guitars played loud enough to drown out jet engines. Their music melds together the members' love of shoegaze acts of the last few decades, the new wave / post-punk scene of the 80s, and everything that falls in between. Forming in 2017, Doused began as the slow burn recording project of bored college students in Philadelphia before eventually transitioning into a full-fledged band with a constantly rotating lineup.

Flock Of Dimes - Head Of Roses

On her second full-length record, Head of Roses, Jenn Wasner follows a winding thread of intuition into the unknown and into healing, led by gut feelings and the near-spiritual experience of visceral songwriting. The result is a combination of Wasner’s ability to embrace new levels of vulnerability, honesty and openness, with the self-assuredness that comes with a decade-plus career as a songwriter, producer, multi-instrumentalist and prolific collaborator. Simply put, Head of Roses is a record about heartbreak, but from a dualistic perspective. It’s about the experience of having one’s heart broken and breaking someone else’s heart at the same time. But beyond that, it’s about having to reconcile the experience of one’s own pain with the understanding that it’s impossible to go through life without being the source of great pain for someone else.

Fog Lake - Tragedy Reel

Lost friends, lost love, addiction and vignettes of high school disillusionment are interwoven in Powell's somber yet hopeful melodies, which combine the soaring highs of nostalgia with the sinking feelings of disappointment and regret. The album was recorded in the summer of 2020 during a 3-month stint in his hometown (population: about 2,000.) Powell combines downtrodden acoustic guitars with muffled pianos, and enveloping synth work by Warren Hildebrand of Foxes in Fiction, who also mixed the record. Across these songs, Powell uses music as a vehicle for healing, repentance and forgiveness in order to craft something deeply personal and therapeutic for himself, and hopefully in turn for others.

Occult Modem Settings - Something Died In The Wall

Latest release Something Died in the Wall sits at the intersection of the quotidian and horrific, blending lo-fi bedroom tones with devotional peals and ominous noise...Something Died in the Wall offers songs inhabited by something violent and strange. Though most unnerving is how the mood lands not as some aberration from everyday living, but rather the unspoken textures beneath its mask. (Various Small Flames)

Small Black - Cheap Dreams

Founded in 2009 Brooklyn, Small Black were at the forefront of the chillwave scene of the early 2010s. Making their way through three LPs and multiple incarnations of the band, they became a touring machine across America and overseas throughout the last decade. After five years, Cheap Dreams finds the band taking stock on where they’re from and where they’ve ended up. The album pays tribute to Kolenik’s uncle, a passionate surfer whose attic in Long Island was used for making their first album. Shortly after the release of their 2015 album, he passed from a stroke while at the beach and a good chunk of the record is about his life and how it reflects on the band’s choice to try to live out theirs as musicians.

Spirit Of The Beehive - Entertainment, Death

Ever since SPIRIT OF THE BEEHIVE released their self-titled debut in 2014, they’ve developed a reputation for being your favorite band’s favorite band. Theirs is the music of immersion, of confrontation, the kind that makes a listener stop and wonder, “How are they even doing that?” And as the years wear on, that sense of bafflement has made room for SPIRIT OF THE BEEHIVE to quietly but steadily ascend, with their most recent album, 2018’s Hypnic Jerks, leaving them poised on the precipice of wider recognition. On April 9th, 2021 SPIRIT OF THE BEEHIVE released their fourth album and Saddle Creek debut, ENTERTAINMENT, DEATH. The album signals new chapters for the band on multiple fronts, being the first to feature their new three-piece lineup, as well as the first to be entirely self-recorded and produced.

As usual, previous months' leftovers:

Ben Shemie - 303 Diary

Filled with a psychedelic energy, the five tracks of 303 Diary, recorded at the end of Summer in just six hours in Montreal’s Hotel2Tango with the help of Radwan Ghazi Moumneh (Jerusalem in My Heart), navigate between liquid melodies, aerial moments and robotic voice effects. An intoxicating pop full of madness, where senses are tickled by the irresistible acid riffs of the TB-303... This EP is also a place of experimentation on the voice, which becomes an instrument like any other, pitched, coated with effects, muffled, sometimes tangled in the layers of synths. As with his previous albums, 303 Diary is the occasion for Ben Shemie to deliver a deeply personal and curious project, centered around performance, where urgency and intimacy open a gate to new horizons.

serpentwithfeet - DEACON

serpentwithfeet is not only imagining, but exploring a world wherein Black love is paramount. His new album, DEACON, is “a study rather than a story,” delving into Black, gay love and the tenderness present in the best companionships, romantic or otherwise...In his love for love, serpentwithfeet is offering a look into the soul of a man who articulates his passion in a warmer, gentler way. He’s become wholly confident in his gift and messaging on DEACON, which is to be expected when one gives vent to maturity. Through his music, he allows compassion to be the backbone of his art, as he communes with his most loving self.

TOBACCO - Fucked Up Friends 3

Fucked Up Friends 3 comes hot on the heels of Tobacco’s last full-length, Hot Wet & Sassy, released in October last year. That record further established his uniquely twisted mix of electro, hip-hop, psych and slasher-movie horror (and synth, don’t forget the synth). Tobacco’s not changed his formula much in the intervening months, and to be honest, why would he? Over the course of multiple albums, across the Tobacco alias and as Black Moth Super Rainbow, he’s developed not only a distinctive signature sound but an accompanying visual aesthetic and lyrical style. He’s done this so comprehensively that his music seems to exist in its own gorily gothic, Day-Glo Halloween world. (Still Listening)

#2021.n #2021.4 #txt #also notable is the collection of older material that divingstation95 put out

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sherwynphilip · 4 years

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BTS World Domination

BTS Signals a Changing of the Guards for Pop Music

by: sherwynphilip | 3:50 PM • 06 July 2020

It was bound to happen, and we all saw it coming: BTS Worldwide Domination.

For BTS, it was 7 years in the making, give or take the 2-3 years it took for all seven members of the band to train under Big Hit Entertainment before debuting in June of 2013. It was one small step at a time, fueled by an unwavering passion for music, and a message that would soon hold millions of people around the world by the heart.

One record, an unprecedented feat -- the very first Korean artist not from "the Big 3" (SM, YG & JYP) to win a daesang. And then another, and yet another, until there were in fact too many records to count that it became a challenge to even keep track of all of them.

Today, BTS has set yet another gargantuan record in Pop Music history. The boy group has just broken Adele's 5-year record on iTunes. And with it, the near impossible task for any unbeliever to refuse to recognize and acknowledge the power that BTS holds.

On July 5, 2020, BTS was poised to stamp their undeniable power on the worldwide charts when the group tied Adele for the song with the most #1's on iTunes at 102 countries each.

Today, July 6, 2020, BTS has just broken that record. "Black Swan," BTS' second single from their album Map of the Soul: 7, has charted #1 on iTunes in 103 countries, surpassing the all-time record previously held by "Hello,' which was the lead single from Adele's album titled "25," released in November of 2015.

BTS and Adele remain to be the only artists in music history to have a song each reach #1 on iTunes in over 100 countries. With BTS Taehyung's single "Sweet Night" now amassing #1 iTunes placements in 96 countries, and in the heels of that, BTS' MOTS 7 lead single "ON" with #1s in 91 countries, BTS is poised to further solidify their hold as the most dominant music artist on the face of the planet.

BTS has been breaking records left and right, thanks in part to their unbelievably dedicated fans called ARMYs. And some of these are records that have remained unbroken in the last 20 to 30 plus years before BTS came along.

Just recently, on June 19, 2020, for example, BTS made their way into the history books of Japan's Oricon Music Charts, when they became the only foreign artist since Michael Jackson to land a #1 album. When BTS' "Map of the Soul: 7" charted as the biggest selling album on Oricon's 2020 mid-year Album Chart, they replicated the great Michael Jackson's feat when his album "Thriller" topped the Japanese charts in 1984. It was a record that took 36 years to replicate.

It was only a year ago, on July 5, 2019, when BTS rewrote a 24-year old record at the Oricon Charts when their Japanese single "Lights" sold over a million copies, surpassing the record previously held by Celine Dion with her 1995 hit "To Love You More."

What's so noteworthy with these records, one might ask. Well, it's noteworthy because Japan is the second largest music market in the world, next only to the US (with the UK and Germany as the 3rd and 4th biggest music markets respectively).

On the Billboard Charts, BTS is the first group since The Beatles to earn three #1 albums in less than a year! This phenomenon last happened between Dec 1995 to Nov 1996, when the iconic British boy band released their archive tracks through the albums Anthology 1, Anthology 2, and Anthology 3. The Beatles' record spanned 11 months and a week. BTS broke that record in under 11 months, when their 'Map of the Soul: Persona' debuted at #1 on the Billboard Albums Chart in April of 2019, following the group's earlier #1 albums: 'Love Yourself: Tear' in June 2018, and 'Love Yourself: Answer' in September 2018.

On the homefront, the Guinness Book of World Record for the biggest-selling album in South Korea was Kim Gun-mo's 1995 release titled "Wrongful Meeting." No other Korean music artist in the last 24 years had come close to challenging that album's record of 3.3 million sales. And then came BTS' Map of the Soul: Persona, which has broken the record with sales of 3.4 million copies.

BTS has since broken their own record when their succeeding album 'Map of the Soul: 7' smashed the record books with certified sales of over 4.2 million copies, making it Koreas biggest selling album of all time. With MOTS 7's sales eclipsing the 4 million mark, BTS has thus become the first and only music artist in Gaon Music Chart history to receive a quadruple-million certification. As of this date, BTS is the first and only artist in Korean music history to surpass 20 million cummulative album sales on the Gaon Music Chart. And with MOTS 7, BTS now joins the ranks of Kim Gun-mo and Seo Taiji as the only artists on the Gaon Chart with the most million-selling albums, each having six.

BTS World Domination? Today, the 7 boys from humble beginnings have just made that phrase unmistakable, undisputable and unequivocal.

Congratulations, BTS. ARMYs are so, so proud of you.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

'Black Swan' iTunes chart: @btsworldwider BTS video edit: @vmjnt

Photo collages: @sherwynphilip

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captainkurosolaire · 2 years

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If freedom is locked behind blood, then I shall spew it!

#Endwalkers #FFXIV #Final Fantasy XIV #Screenshots #Captain Kuro Solaire #Black Cat #Black Lion #Pirate #Seeker of the Sun #Miqo'te #GPOSER #Endwalker #FF14 #Daily Practice #Gladiator #Swan Song Challenge: Month 3

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cinemavariety · 5 years

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Cinema Variety’s Top Favorite Films of 2019

To quote Principal Duvall from the 2004 teen comedy classic Mean Girls: “I just wanted to say that you’re all winners, and that I couldn’t be happier the year is ending” 2019 was both a super difficult year personally, but even more so, I feel as if it was one of the weakest years for cinema in recent memory. Thankfully the last few months of the year have made up for it with a surplus of absolutely incredible cinematic experiences, many of which are reflected in this year’s rankings. I present to you my favorite films of 2019. Check out my rankings from previous years by checking out the links below:

Top Picks of 2018 List Top Picks of 2017 List Top Picks of 2016 List Top Picks of 2015 List Top Picks of 2014 List Top Picks of 2013 List

Honorable Mentions: Midsommar Uncut Gems Parasite 3 From Hell The Death and Life of John F. Donavan **THIS LIST IS IN ORDER AND CONTAINS SOME MILD SPOILERS**

#16 - Ready or Not Directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett

Ready or Not looked entertaining enough from the trailers, but it certainly wasn’t anything I was dying to go see. Especially in a movie theatre. However my brother convinced me to go with him and it ended up being one of the most consistently fun and entertaining theatrical experiences of 2019.

There were a lot of similar plot elements to the brilliant 2013 horror film - You’re Next (which by the way is one of my favorites). The plot is about a young girl, who grew up an orphan, marrying into an insanely wealthy family. The family has a tradition of playing a game on the wedding night, and she ends up choosing a game of hide and seek. Unbeknownst to the bride, the family is actually planning to hunt her down and murder her in order to perform some type of satanic ritual.

Horror comedies only work for me about half the time, but his film has enough graphic violence and intense situations to counterbalance all of the humor throughout. They complemented each other well and the result was a super funny and super bloody cat and mouse hunt of social classes.

#15 - Doctor Sleep Directed by Mike Flanagan

Helming the sequel to The Shining is no easy undertaking whatsoever. Kubrick’s arthouse horror masterpiece will forever remain not only one of my favorite of his films, but also as one of my favorite genre pieces in general. I was immediately relieved when I discovered that Mike Flanagan signed on to direct the adaptation of Stephen King’s sequel - Doctor Sleep.

I already knew beforehand that Doctor Sleep was more of a fantasy story than a direct horror, and also wasn’t one of the most popular of King’s works. The film ended up being a pretty epic fantasy thriller. Flanagan excels in creating his own universe while also honoring the source material, as well as paying homage to Kubrick’s film. However, it shines more when it does its own thing instead of trying to be nostalgia porn.

Most of the film worked for me, some of it didn’t. The recasting of Jack Torrance’s character left a slightly sour taste in my mouth. Ewan McGregor does a great job as the recovering Danny but it is really Rebecca Ferguson who steals the show with her villain character Rose the Hat.

Doctor Sleep proves that Flanagan has become one of the most consistent horror directors working in the industry. There’s always a pulse to be discovered in the foundations of his storytelling.

#14 - High Life Directed by Claire Denis

Claire Denis, one of the most polarizing French auteurs, debuted her first English language film in 2019 with High Life. I had the pleasure of seeing the film on a big screen, and even though I felt a little underwhelmed as an initial reaction to the finale, the film seemed to linger in my subconscious like a haunting unresolved dream. It held up even better on a re-watch, which you can view for free if you have Amazon Prime.

It’s definitely unlike any space film that I have ever seen. The premise surrounds a group of prisoners on death row who are sent to the farthest depths of space on a doomed voyage. All of the occupants are corralled by Juliette Binoche’s character, who plays some type of mad space scientist, is obsessed with collecting their semen in order to create new life in the abyss of the cosmos.

High Life is a slow burn, often minimalist film, which relies more heavily on atmosphere/score/visuals than it does on dialogue or forced plot elements. It’s bewilderingly nihilistic in how it depicts human behavior gone horribly awry. Robert Pattinson gives an understated performance and seems to provide the only glimmer of what seems to be hope by the end of the film.

#13 - Too Old to Die Young Directed by Nicolas Winding Refn

Too Old To Die Young finds the celebrated auteur, Nicolas Winding Refn, sharing his view of humanity and society at its most despicable. Hate seems to seep out of the cracks of every neon-soaked frame in the limited series. Amazon gave Refn free reigns in creating his phantasmagoria.

All of his usual motifs and creative decisions are employed in full force with Too Old To Die Young, sometimes to an almost unbearable degree unless you are a truth Refn aficionado. His long takes, infinitesimal silences between lines, neon lighting, synth score and characters belonging to a criminal underworld are all utilized to great affect within the series.

I won’t lie, I found it to be some of Refn’s most challenging work to date. There are so many aspects to be found within this series that went over my head, it is art that demands a re-watch. And while I believe that Refn’s sensibilities are best conveyed through a film medium, the limited series allows Refn to explore what he wants to convey like an artist adding layer upon layer of colors onto a blank palette.

#12 - Age Out Directed by A.J. Edwards

A.J. Edwards returned in 2019 with his sophomore directorial effort - Age Out (originally titled Friday’s Child). Edwards has served as one of many creatives who worked on the editing team of Terrence Malick’s films in the last decade. Malick’s influence on the director is quite noticeable. Edwards directed his first film in 2014, The Better Angels, which was a decent debut. Whereas The Better Angels oftentimes felt too close of a mimicry of Malick’s style, Age Out utilizes certain aspects of the style while also allowing Edwards to have his own authorial voice.

The film centers around a young man named Richie as he is about to “age out” of the foster care facility in which he was raised - a frightening reality for countless youth in America and around the world. Richie is left to navigate the difficulties of the adult world at a mere eighteen years old, without any family or parental figures to help him along the way. He makes friends with a seedy townie who revels in delinquency and causing ruckus. Also, there is a romantic subplot between Richie and a girl named Joan, portrayed tenderly by Imogen Poots. This relationship seems to be the only saving grace in Richie’s life. However, a turn of events soon reveal that Richie’s traumatic past has gotten the better of him and threatens to doom his entire future.

Edwards shoots the film in a boxed style with a 1.33 : 1 aspect ratio. This aids with the sense of claustrophobia and paranoia that invades Richie’s life. As aforementioned, many of Malick’s motifs are used here: a floating steadicam guiding the audience along, hushed dialogue, montages with classical music, and even some voice overs. However, this aesthetic isn’t heavy handed in any way. In fact, it’s a joy to see directors whose work can almost go into the Malick canon as the auteur has had such an influence on a lot of young, upcoming directors. Age Out is both a coming of age story and a cry of warning for unhealed trauma.

#11 - An Elephant Sitting Still Directed by Hu Bo

An Elephant Sitting Still now holds the spot as the longest running film that I have ever seen. It sits in at just under four hours, and it completely delivers without ever feeling like it drags on unnecessarily. The film technically premiered in 2018 and is considered a 2018 film among critic circles. However, the epic didn’t get a widespread distribution in the U.S. until this year, so I am overlooking this discrepancy. The film was marked with somewhat of a controversy after the director Hu Bo took his own life right after post production was completed. Hu Bo is an author turned director and An Elephant Sitting Still marks his first foray into cinema. It’s one of the best directorial debuts I have ever seen.

The film centers around four different characters during the span of a single day. All of these characters are marked with some sort of tragedy, and many of their stories intertwine in a synchronistic fashion. It reminded me of other masterpieces such an Inarittu’s Amores Perros or Paul Thomas Anderson’s Magnolia. The film takes place in the industrial regions of Northern China, and the barren landscapes reflect an inner emptiness that emanates from all the characters.

There is a hollowness to these people as they navigate through life. An Elephant Sitting Still is nothing short of nihilistic. It’s an angry, desperate and hauntingly beautiful cry of pain from a director who was most certainly haunted by his own inner demons. It manages to be both an odyssey of human cruelty and a swan song from a young man who didn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.

#10 - Joker Directed by Todd Phillips

“It’s getting crazier out there, isn’t it?” These are some of the first lines to be uttered in Todd Philip’s pitch-black satire on society. These lines are what best exemplify the themes that Philip’s was pushing: our society is profoundly sick, everything seems to be getting worse, we have no saviors in sight and hope isn’t always on the horizon. Just from these first utterances, it is clear that Philips is taking all of the political and socioeconomic turmoil of the last four years and has created a problem child that is Joker.

Joaquin Phoenix turns in one of his most disturbed and flawless performances yet - which is no surprise. However, I have yet to see him embody a character so genuinely as he did in The Master. But this isn’t Paul Thomas Anderson, this is Todd Phillips. And the fact that the comedy director even created this piece of art is something that still has me scratching my head. Subtlety is never at play in the film, and there are quite a few plot points that are a little too on-the-nose, even for me. However, all of the other elements redeem it and make this one of the best films of the year. The cinematography is pleasing for the eyes, and the menacing cello scores echoes an existential loneliness that I felt permeate my very being.

The last thirty minutes are exactly what I was hoping from this film. It’s a breath of fresh air to see Hollywood actually stick to creating a nihilistic film that doesn’t once try to water itself down.

#9 - Luce Directed by Julius Onah

Director Julius Onah decided to really step up his game with his latest film Luce. After the dumpster fire that was The Cloverfield Paradox (seriously, thanks for completely ruining what was becoming a dope anthology franchise), Onah has proven that he can be a master of his craft with the proper source material. In regards to the story being told, every element of the film works to its advantage: editing, performances, direction, and most importantly - the screenplay. It’s one of most well written screenplays I have come across in 2019. I immediately could tell from the dialogue that this movie must have been adapted from a stage play, and sure enough upon searching, I found out it was. Not all stage adaptations work, in fact I’d say more than half don’t end up being too effective, but this one stuck its landing and then more.

The story revolves around an overly concerned teacher who contacts Luce’s parents after he writes a paper that comes off as threatening. The paper in question seemed to hold a sentiment in which violence was called for in order to overcome colonialism. It’s important to note that Luce was a child soldier in his native country before being adopted by his parents - played by Naomi Watts and Tim Roth who both gave stunning performances. The rest of the story is an investigation into who their son actually is, which eventually results in moral debates regarding race and identity.

Luce is also a film that effectively helps the audience empathize with the main character, while at the same time questioning whether his intentions are genuine, or a coy to hide something much darker. The truth isn’t always black and white, and this was my biggest takeaway from the movie.

#8 - Monos Directed by Alejandro Landes

Monos felt like a hybrid of elements inspired from great works such as Lord of the Flies, Aguirre: The Wrath of God and Apocalypse Now. This is only the third film to be directed by Alejandro Landes, however it looks and feels as if it was created by a seasoned veteran of the industry.

A group of children guerilla soldiers hold base on a mountaintop where they keep a hostage, watch over a prized cow, and act as a defensive force against an unbeknownst group of enemies. There is little to no exposition in the film. Landes drops the audience off right in the middle of the chaos.

We aren’t exactly sure what these children are risking their lives to fight for, or why they are doing it, but it goes to show the conditions in which they were raised for them to find normalcy in the violent lifestyle of a guerilla soldier. The landscapes are absolutely gorgeous, and there are even a few scenes where I questioned how they accomplished such shots/stunts with a low budget.

#7 - The Beach Bum Directed by Harmony Korine

The Beach Bum might not be the best film that Harmony Korine has directed (it’s certainly no Spring Breakers), but it is easily the most fun. It’s been almost seven long years since Korine’s last project, and I had been waiting in eager anticipation to see what he would do next. He was originally going to do a gangster crime drama called The Trap, which is what I was really hoping from Korine, but that fell through and he ended up making one of the best stoner comedies I have ever had the pleasure of watching.

The Beach Bum is probably Korine’s most accessible and audience-friendly film he’s ever done. I say that lightly though, because it still remains just as highly divisive as his other work. The plot is loose. It follows the misadventures and antics of Moondog, a washed up poet and complete burnout. He is soon sent to rehab for all of his illegal activities, in which he breaks out with the help of Zac Efron’s character, who might have just been my favorite character of the film. Korine seems to have a consistently solid knack to create dirty, seedy and absolutely enthralling characters.

I am really happy that he decided to keep a very similar visual aesthetic to his previous masterpiece, Spring Breakers. Benoit Debie, who is the king of neon lighting and discombobulating camerawork, does a masterful job at creating the textured and visual world of The Beach Bum. Hell, it’s probably one of the main reasons why I decided to see it twice on the big screen.

I’m not the biggest fan of comedies, mostly because I have a very bizarre sense of humor and find most of them to be completely hollow. But Korine’s darkly nihilistic sense of humor suits my sensibilities perfectly and I found myself laughing out loud at various points throughout The Beach Bum. It’s a fun, and even slightly endearing film at certain points thanks to the presence of Isla Fisher’s character as the wife. I look forward to whatever Korine decides to do next. At this point, who knows where he will decide to go with his career. I just hope I don’t have to wait another five plus years to see more of his work.

#6 - A Hidden Life Directed by Terrence Malick

Malick isn’t “back” - he never left. A Hidden Life isn’t a “return to form”. His form has always been there, it’s been evolving since The Tree of Life. In fact, the structure and flow of this film is extremely reminiscent of his past three films.

How far are you willing to walk the path of righteousness, even when the path is marred with pain and unanswered sufferings? How long are you able to cling to your faith when it feels like all hope is lost? How do you fight for what is good, when everyone around you is telling you to submit to forces of absolute evil? These are some of just many questions explored in Terrence Malick’s newest tour de force. As with many of Malick’s recent work, these aren’t questions that are necessarily outright answered during the film. They are instead questions of morality meant to be repeated throughout the story, almost like a mantra or an ode to pure faith.

A Hidden Life is Malick’s first return to chronological and narrative-driven filmmaking since The New World. It has garnered praise almost universally among critics, and is regarded as his best film in ten years since The Tree of Life. While I am in the few who don’t exactly agree that this is Malick’s best film in a decade, I might even dare say that it is among my least favorites of Malick’s recent output, I am still not denying the sublime mastery instilled in every single shot of this film.

A Hidden Life tells the noble true story of Franz Jagerstatter, an Austrian conscientious objector, who refuses to fight for the Nazis in World War II due to his religious beliefs and is eventually executed for it. He is decades later deemed a martyr by the Church - all the more telling as to why Malick decided to tackle this story. The heart of this story is told through letters that Franz and his wife Fani exchange throughout his period spent as a political prisoner. Fani seems to be one of the only people in Franz’s life who sticks by his side. No matter how soul crushing Franz’s decision is for Fani, she understands him well enough to know that death is a better option than spoiling your soul and humanity. “Better to suffer injustices than to do it,” as one character painfully states in the film. And while I wasn’t as emotionally wrecked as I thought I would be by this film, I instead feel inspired by Franz’s commitment to his innate goodness. The back and forth perspectives of Franz and Fani are well executed - we as an audience get reprieves from the dreary confines of a prison cell to the majestic grandeur of the Austrian mountainside. The mountains and surrounding nature are characters within themselves. Near the finale, as Franz is face to face with his mortality, his mind wanders back to riding his motorcycle through the village on a sunny day as the mountains loom in the background. These are the final desires of a doomed man, something as simple as having the freedom to go outside and feel the grass beneath his feet - to experience the wonders of nature that most people don’t think twice about.

As mentioned earlier, it is far from my favorite of Malick’s oeuvre, and is not without its slight misgivings. It was stated that this was Malick’s return to “narratively focused” filmmaking. But he still utilized his signature elliptical style, and for me these moods oftentimes clashed and kept me at a distance emotionally. I rarely say this with a Malick film, but more of a reliance on dialogue would have worked wonders for me. There are quite a few sequences in which Malick opted for montage instead of a more fleshed out scene, which I believe would have further added to the power of the story.

These are all slight issues, and I myself might be a harsher critic than most simply because I hold Malick to such a high standard. Once you can give yourself to the film, A Hidden Life becomes a true zen experience. It managed to instill a sense of serene presence within myself. I felt very grateful for the most basic and common details of my life and this world. Malick’s work can be such a sensorial rush, and making even mundane objects and rooms look absolutely gorgeous, that it’s as if “everything is shining” in my own life after seeing the film. I look forward to returning to The Church of Malick very soon.

#5 - Ad Astra Directed by James Gray

Ad Astra got a lot of unwarranted hate this year in my opinion. It truly is a shame because I believe that James Gray has struck gold once again. While I don’t adore it to the same degree as I did Gray’s previous feature, The Lost City of Z, Ad Astra succeeds in being one of the most understated space films made in the 21st century.

It’s not exactly a wholly original story, or a plot that is something that we haven’t seen before. It’s the way Gray goes about telling this story and exploring these themes that makes it so very special. It’s not forcing any overreaching philosophical or ethical message onto the viewer, it’s not overly complicated or overly long, and rather than trying to present completely senseless physical explanations to the audience, it just accepts the fiction aspect as “science fiction”.

Hoyte Van Hoytema is a brilliant Director of Photography and he crafts some of the most breathtaking space shots in recent memory. He really captures the breathtaking enormity of the cosmis abyss. The scenes that take place near Nepture during the finale are jaw dropping. We see two characters wrestling each other while suspended midair and the camera pulls out to reveal their absolutely terrifying ordeal while splashes of Neptune’s purple color emanates behind them. What I enjoyed most about the film is this sort of serene, zen atmosphere that Gray creates through the visuals, the score and Brad Pitt’s heartfelt but quietly somber voiceover.

Pitt portrays a lonely, broken and existentially conflicted astronaut. He finds the quiet infinitude of space to be a reprieve from the chaos of conflict happening down on Earth. He feels more at home among the stars than he does on the planet in which he was born. His perspective reminds me of the blue God from Watchmen, Doctor Manhattan, when he’s dwelling peacefully on Mars and laments his feelings toward Earth and all the people on it: “I am tired of Earth. These People. I am tired of being caught in the tangle of their lives.”

James Gray’s Ad Astra, much like his previous two films before this, detail the pains and tribulations of undaunted pioneers as they explore foreign territories. The final monologue of Pitt’s washed over me like a gentle breeze: “I will rely on those closest to me, and I will share their burders, as they share mine. I will live and love.”

#4 - Anima Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson

Interprative dance, experimental film, and visual albums are three of my absolutely favorite art forms. The real MVP of modern cinema, Paul Thomas Anderson, has collaborated with one of the real MVP’s of modern music, Thom Yorke, to create a fifteen minute long music video on the power of human connection.

Thom Yorke plays a sleepy commuter, a passive bystander, a human sheep, a functioning cog in some great machinery. He makes brief eye contact with a pretty woman on the train, and notices that she leaves behind a briefcase. The rest of the short details his efforts as he dodges through obstacle after obstacle trying to find the woman and return the briefcase to her. I couldn’t believe my eyes as Anderson concocts the innermost desires of being seen, understood, and loved. The results are strokes of flashing light projections on concrete walls, bodies undulating as they separate and conjoin simultaneously, giddy humans running through fog, and lovers meeting in the union of hearts.

The final section, Dawn Chorus, is one of the most gentle and blissful experiences I have ever witnessed, let alone one in a film distributed by Netflix. Paul Thomas Anderson and Thom Yorke’s project had me understanding why I fell in love with this medium in the first place.

#3 - 1917 Directed by Sam Mendes

1917 takes the spot as my favorite war film of the decade. Personally, I found it to be one of the best war films ever made in general. What director Sam Mendes and DOP Roger Deakins have created is nothing short of a miracle. It’s the first “single take” war film to ever be made, mainly because this is a feat that is far from easy to pull off. Mendes and Deakins shot the movie in extreme long takes, and spliced them all together to make the whole movie come off as a seamless single take. These tracking shots never leave the side of the characters, we are in their footsteps on the journey the entire time.

1917 has a pretty simple premise: two young British soldiers are given a near impossible mission to cross enemy territory and deliver a message that will stop a deadly attack on over 1,500 soldiers - one of them being the brother of one of the two soldiers sent on the mission. The familial aspect contributes added emotional gravitas to the plot overall.

1917 is more of an experiential war film than it is a action or battle focused war film. It’s best to be seen in an IMAX because the sound design and the invasive tracking shots make you feel as if you are walking along these two soldiers as they face grave perils on their quest to deliver the message. I very much so enjoyed that they kept the plot small and intimate, without resorting to constant firepower to keep the audience engaged. That isn’t too say that the movie doesn’t have more than enough of its fair share of nail biting action sequences, and also plenty of gruesome shots depicting the carnage that World War I brought. These soldiers have to army crawl over rotting corpses, while rats and crows are seen pecking and chewing through the remains. The filmmaker doesn’t turn a blind eye to the horrors that war produced. To me, this is one of many reasons why I believe 1917 is superior to other popular recent war films such as Dunkirk. I don’t want my war films to be sanitized. War needs to be portrayed as it truly is - acts of complete inhumanity.

Dare I say that 1917 is Come and See for the 21st century. While Come and See is most definitely the superior film, there were echoes of the classic Soviet Union masterpiece that ring throughout 1917. Maybe it’s the expertly crafted tracking shots, maybe it’s the maddening use of sound design/editing, or maybe it’s the shell shocked expression that is engraved on one of the main characters faces near the finale.

1917 does an amazing job of being very loud, but also utilizing silence in certain scenes to great affect. The juxtaposition is most expertly crafted during one scene that involved flares popping off in the sky, lighting up the ruins of a city, as one the characters runs away from enemy fire. It’s an absolutely exhilarating scene. I ended up bawling by the end of the movie, mostly just because of all the pent up anxiety and distress I felt throughout. You don’t see many films that take place during World War I anymore. But 1917 shows it is not a time period to be forgotten about.

#2 - The Lighthouse Directed by Robert Eggers

I had been eagerly anticipating Robert Eggers’s follow-up film after he released The VVitch back in 2016. At first it was reported that he was going to be doing an adaptation of Nosferatu, which I still think would be a great story for Egger’s to adapt, especially after witnessing what he instead decided to make - The Lighthouse.

Shot gorgeously in black & white on gritty 16mm celluloid, the film looks like it comes from a completely different era (the dialogue as well). There were many shots that had a similar look to some of Bergman’s early work on the Faroe islands.

The Lighthouse has a fairly simple plot. Robert Pattinson plays Winslow who goes to work for a seasoned lighthouse keeper named Thomas who is played by Willem Dafoe. Winslow is new to being a wickie and Thomas takes him under his wing to show him the ropes. Thomas orders him about incessantly in a brute and abusive manner.

There is a minimalism to the plot, however all of the other elements are done so perfectly that the daily grueling routines of these wickies becomes nothing short of hypnotizing. The sound design and score ratchets up the harsh conditions of the island. Wind sounds like its constantly shrieking outside - a reminder of the unease that seems to be building to an overflow. The dialogue, diction, and accents are all completely authentic to the time period and setting that the story is taking place in. Eggers commitment is second to none when it come to detail and authenticity with aspects such as the character’s accents and inflections. A real case of cabin fever befalls the two men who both seem to become obsessed with the mystical light that emanates at the top of the light house.

While I really enjoyed The VVItch, I absolutely adored The Lighthouse and find it to be a much stronger work from Eggers. I think what I vibed with most about it is that the movie doesn’t feel the need to be confined to one particular genre. Whereas The VVitch was literally about a witch bringing misery to a Puritan family, it was constricted to be somewhat of a horror film. However, The Lighthouse manages to be many different tones: a fever dream surrealist film, an arthouse horror, a slapstick comedy, and a nautical retelling of many ancient sea myths. And all of these different tones worked together and bounced off each other in perfect harmony.

I found myself both laughing and completely repulsed by the images I was seeing - especially within the last act of the film which succeeded in shaking me up and making me feel both bewildered and slightly nauseated. It ends up being a gritty, dirty, and uncompromising journey into total psychosis. By the conclusion of the film, the audience comes to the same realization as the two characters - there really was enchantment in the light after all.

#1 - Waves Directed by Trey Edward Shults

Waves is an operatic cry for people to be better to one another. It is by far my favorite film of the year, and I truly believe it to be one of the finest films ever made. It earned itself a well deserved spot in my Top 25 Favorite Films of the Decade.

Trey Edward Shults started out his cinematic career on a strong note with Krisha. He delivered once again with his sophomore debut - It Comes at Night (even if I do find it to be easily the weakest of out the three he has directed). But for me, Waves is where Shults really experiments with his style to such a fine tuned degree that we find the director not calming down his vision or becoming more “grounded”, instead he expands upon his prowess with one of the most powerful family dramas I’ve ever seen.

Shults is another director who made my list this year who is somewhat of a protege of Terrence Malick. Shults worked as an intern for Malick on both The Tree of Life and Voyage of Time. It is quite clear the influence that Malick has on Shult’s vision. But Shults, even more-so than Edwards who also made my list this year, has taken Malick’s inspiration and created something wholly his own.

Shults has created an experiential rollercoaster of actions, consequences and the toxic fallout than can come from such actions. Waves is essentially two films in one. The first half is the energetic, chaotic and traumatic first half in its depiction of toxic masculinity taken too far, to the eventual accident that changes all of the characters lives. The camera is constantly floating in this portion, or shall I even say flying through the air and around the characters. The camera has no limits in what it can do and that along with the editing, and most noticeably the insanely perfect soundtrack/score, this portion ends up feeling like one prolonged anxiety attack.

The second half of the film switches character POVs masterfully. There’s a psychedelic shift of perspective from the brother’s eyes covered in flashing lights from the back of a police car to his little sister’s eyes in the back of their parent’s car (you have to have seen the film to completely understand what I am referring to of course). This second half of the film is where the camera slows down a little. This portion is more character focused and less interested in being flashy through its aesthetic. We get more dialogue, more character details, and a lot more tears in this half. It’s like a long cathartic release after experiencing an hour of trauma and abuse. It succeeds in tearing you apart, to only slowly piece you back together.

As mentioned previously, Shults’s soundtrack decisions were the cherry on top for me. Tame Impala, Animal Collective & Tyler the Creator are three of my favorite artists and their music is utilized perfectly within the story. What made this film so special to me, other than the fact it all takes place in the state in which I grew up in, was that no other film has better reminded me of my own humanity in years. This film makes me want to be a better brother, a better friend, a better son, and a better person in general. You never know when a single moment can shatter your entire world. In the end, it left me with a strong message that struck me to my core: appreciate what you have in life, and tread carefully.

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gallyg · 4 years

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Doing the Whole 30 challenge in one post like it’s 2012 again

I like doing these in chunks and my wife is busy so this is what I will do to entertain myself.

1. Sam is so much better than Dean. Dean is a dickwad, and his character arc has never rang as true to me as Sam’s.

2. My favorite episode is hard to say, but I think it might be the season 14 finale. I don’t care what other fans say, God has always been a negligent monster in Supernatural, so I loved seeing Sam and Dean turn on him while also boldly evolving into metafiction that goes beyond comedy. Plus the Jack storyline is just heartbreaking.

3. Favorite season is probably like, 1 or 2, but atm I’m loving the Dabb era, so I’m tempted to just go ahead and say season 14 or 15. (13 was dreadful aside from Jack though)

4. Jack is the best character, SAM INCLUDED. He is the spark of heart this stale constipated shit of a show needed, and he finally forced the character dynamics to evolve somewhat for the first time in like half a decade. I love how innocent Jack is and how much trouble he has navigating the world when he’s the only creature like himself in the universe.

5. Rowena is the best female character. For a decade, it was Bela, but Rowena got the redemption arc Bela deserved. I don’t know if it’s because the fanbase has just matured past bullying every girl that gets near the Winchesters or what, but I’m glad they didn’t unceremoniously ditch Rowena like cowards.

6. All the actors do a fine enough job but Jim Beaver is clearly the one who treats it the most like a craft.

7. Are there good angels? They’ve been cannon fodder for so long, it’s hard to remember. I liked Gabriel a lot before he came back. I guess Balthazar is still a genuine treat and helps make season 6 the sloppy success that it is. I even think his death was well-earned and served the plot well, which is rare for this show. I just wish he was more of a weight on Castiel’s conscience after he’s murdered instead of being wholly forgotten until the season 13 AU.

8. Crowley ruined Supernatural for a long time. It’s hilarious that the premise of his character in season 5 was “what if a demon was genuinely helpful? why would they be?” and then they totally abandoned that idea for six years. His relationship with the Winchesters changed in a totally nonsensical way at the start of season 6, and he never really justified his place as King of Hell. It felt like he was just there to be a reason for them to fight demons for 10 years too many instead of coming up with new interesting plots.

9. Apocalypse World Michael is the only villain who I get and sympathize with. Of course he’d feel betrayed by God. Of course he’d take it out on humanity. He’s Lucifer but without the convoluted in-universe backstory that doesn’t gel with the lore you’re just supposed to assume.

10. The best Misha character is the Leviathan legion. Perfectly creates a tone of menace, sets up the conflict of the season, then explodes, which also kills Castiel and gave me a few blissful months where I thought we’d be free of the writers struggling to keep Castiel at a balanced power level without taking up too much storytelling economy (they finally got it eventually).

11. Best character intro is Castiel. Of course it is. If Supernatural ended at season 4 or 5 or even 6, we’d forever remember that intro as the moment the show fearlessly decided to become Epic.

12. Only episode of Supernatural that scared me was Hookman and just because I watched it in the dark at 3am when I was 15.

13. The best Bobby scene is, obviously, when he tearfully tells Sam that it was just the demon talking in season 5′s intro. He’s family, and he’s never cutting him out, not ever.

14. Ruby 1.0. Katie Cassidy is a good actress who can actually make you doubt her motives and also believe she is a demon and not an actress on the set of a TV show. “You deserve hell, Dean Winchester! I wish I could be there to hear you scream!”

15. Yeah, I teared up at Swan Song.

16. Ruby is the only demon who has ever been interesting. Her appearance in the Empty kinda retconned some of her depth, but that can’t erase the great times we had, back in season 3 and 4.

17. The only ship that matters is Sam/Eileen because it’s the only couple that has genuine empathy for each other that isn’t drowning in bullshit emotional repression that got old ten years ago.

18. I love Amy Pond! This might contribute to why I don’t like Dean much, even if he was never my favorite anyway.

19. No comment.

20. Remember when Jack when to his grandma’s house looking for emotional support because he was in unprecedented distress and all he got was yelled at? Fucking christ, Jack’s whole season 14 arc fucked me up.

21. No comment.

22. There’s some small thing I like in every season, but the whole Jeremy Carver era was dreadful and actually made me stop watching until I heard about Jack and thought he sounded like a cool character (he is)

23.

24. I actually like the Ghostfacers webisode a lot

25. Hot take as a classic SPN fan, but season 15′s premier was astounding. You can sense the whole time as they’re dealing with the ghost apocalypse that it can’t be this easy. They’re fooling themselves if they think God will let them off with one last simple case with just one more sacrifice, because the audience wouldn’t ever be satisfied with that. We want more sacrifice, more suffering for these characters. Every issue solved before the end is promise of more nightmares. There will be peace when you are done. Not a god damn second before.

26. Nobody is as good as Jack, none of them need to come back.

...

Just kidding, bring back Lisa, or Ben, preferably both, but if I must pick one, then it’s Ben. That’s Dean’s kid, even if not biologically. Dean needs to grapple with what he did, abandoning him.

27. “I used to be a psychic. I’m not anymore, at least I don’t think.” BRING BACK SAM’S POWERS HE SHOULD STILL HAVE AT LEAST SOME FROM THE DEMON BLOOD HE DRANK IN SEASON 5.

28. “Bitch.” *eyes widen in horror as he realizes he just called a teenage girl a bitch, context be damned*

29. I do not care about Meg.

30. The best season finale is 5 or 14. It all depends on how season 15 finishes. Which finale will be sullied worse in hindsight?

#supernatural #spn #classic spn #classic supernatural #jack kline

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charmingturkeysandwich · 5 years

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fireworks (that went off too soon)

Hey there! This is a CS one shot. An AU in which Killian is the lead singer and songwriter in a band that sounds suspiciously like Fall Out Boy...

Summary: Emma and Killian were friends in college, but haven’t spoken in 9 years. Killian’s band’s new single changes everything.

Words: 4400ish

Rating: Teen? (Swearing, References to Sex)

Also on AO3

Big thanks to @awkwardnessandbaseball for reading this over, correcting all my dumbass mistakes, and helping me polish this up pretty :) (The title comes from my favorite Fall Out Boy song, Fourth of July. It’s heavily featured in the story sung by Killian’s band.)

---

It was 3pm on Friday the 13th – also a Full Moon – when Emma Swan finally had the meltdown she’d pressed “pause” on about nine years earlier.

(Nine years, three months, more accurately, but who was counting?)

The work week was winding down. The get this done today or be fired tasks had been completed and all the emails had been answered and it was about time to start doing the bare minimum to run down the clock to 5:01 when she could, without regret, run screaming from the building and put her god forsaken job out of her mind for two days of rest, relaxation, and rum.

(Definitely the rum. Or maybe it had been upgraded to a tequila weekend.)

It was Pandora’s fault, really. (A fitting name for opening up an emotional box inside her soul that had been sealed for quite a long time and with very good fucking reason.)

Usually Emma listened to wordless music – movie scores, Vitamin String Quartet and the like – so as to keep the creative juices flowing without breaking her train of concentration. But having reached the procrastination part of the afternoon, she thought, what harm could there be in listening to a little regular music?

Emma had always had a soft spot for pop/punk/emo music. It brought her joy even when it wasn’t joyful, which is either a sentiment only shared by lonely foster girls or perhaps all emo kids, but did it matter? It was her kind of music. Long before she met Killian Jones.

But then she met him. He was an insufferable ass at least 2/3 of the time, but for the other third of his life, he was sweet, funny, and musically a goddamn genius. His voice was smooth and warm, he could play guitar like it was in his DNA, and his lyrics were both relatable and completely original. She was half in love from the start, so of course she pushed him as far away as possible.

(Love is patient; love is kind. Love is slowly losing my mind)

He was aloof. At best. They were college kids who shared a dorm building and not much else, not until their roommates fell in love with each other. That’s around the time they started spending an inordinate amount of time together. He was fucking anything with brown eyes and tits and she absolutely did not care and everything was fine. They were friends, kind of. She was a fan of his band, but not in the groupie way. She had no intention of being just a notch in his bedpost or a line in his song.

(As it turned out, she ended up becoming both. Eventually.)

When he wasn’t playing shows in dive bars (or fucking freshmen girls in a shower stall of their dorm hall’s shared bathroom), he spent a lot of time in Emma’s room. Mostly to avoid Mary Margaret and David in his room who were, as he called it, “the most sickly sweet love story this side of the Atlantic” and “a complete buzzkill to complex song-writing.” And she was OK with it. She loved when he would compose while she read. And they had the best conversations. They challenged each other on everything from politics to pie flavors and she’d never been so stimulated by someone of the opposite sex in her life.

Intellectually stimulated. In the brain.

By junior year, the two pairs of roommates had moved off-campus, opting to share a three bedroom house while they finished up school. Killian’s band was starting to actually make something of themselves, but he vowed to get his degree (this pretty face won’t last forever), and Emma played tutor for him when he skipped class for weeks on end so he could play some gigs on the west coast.

They were friends. They were equals. They meant so much more to each other than “just” friends or study buddies or housemates or anything, because the past three years had been the most stable years in either of their lives and it was all because of the support they received from each other in the darkest nights and the brightest days and seriously.

Fuck Pandora.

It had distracted her when she was in the middle of perfectly pleasant procrastinating. Now she was getting off track. Frazzled. Fucking pissed.

With her work mostly finished, she had decided to listen to Panic! At the Disco’s station. It was a safe zone – the best of two different genres: emo and pop. She bopped along to Blink 182 and “the Ballad of Mona Lisa.” She swayed and swooned a little when “Secrets” by One Republic played. And she got a good laugh at “I’m Not OK (I Promise),” remembering the days she’d scream “I’m not o-fucking kay! [trust me]” every time she got into a fight with the foster mother she now loved so very much.

But then there was a dramatic twist and a cinematic sweep and that voice and before she could switch the station, some warning popped up at her, removing all the buttons and controls and displaying the error message of SOMETHING WENT WRONG and all she could think was no shit, Sherlock.

Killian’s band got big when they were 21. And stayed big. The band broke up once, briefly, but they’d been dancing around the American Top 40 for at least 6 of the last 9 years and as much as it hurt her to hear his voice through a radio and not through a wall of their shared house, at least the lyrics of the songs never stung her before.

Because they’d never been about her before.

It was the summer before senior year, late that June, and Killian had just returned from a little pop-punk festival in Seattle. She’d picked him up at the airport in Portland (Maine) and had been chatting his ear off about how much better “our” Portland was from “theirs” (Oregon), but Killian had been largely silent.

Which was out of character to the extreme, his little creative writing/song composer mind always racing and his far too pleasing voice always spilling from his stupidly attractive lips.

“What is up with you, Jones? I just said that they have better lobster in Oregon and you didn’t even react.”

From the passenger seat, he played with the window controller, the air whooshing in and stopping to the rhythm of Seven Nation Army AKA the world’s most overplayed song that wasn’t sung by Ed Sheeran or Taylor Swift.

“Hmm? Oh, it’s nothing, Swan. A problem for a different day, to be sure.”

His voice had been quiet, unsure. That wasn’t him either. This was the asshole who could start a trend with a typo and who claimed to have made a girl come with nothing but his voice. His level of confidence was infuriating, but unshakeable.

(He made forgetting the words to his own songs look attractive. And that was an eventual Buzzfeed headline, not Emma’s own assessment. Obviously.)

“Killian, what’s up? Did the festival not go as well as you wanted? From what I saw on YouTube, it seemed awfully successful.”

“Aye, love.” He perked up just a bit, finally turning toward her and smiling. “It was grand.”

“And you’re brooding because, what, you’re worried that feeling happy for too long will sap you of your emo energy or something?”

Her attempt to lighten the mood didn’t seem to take, though, and Killian turned back out the window like he was practicing for his very own music video.

When they got back to their house, Emma grabbed his clothes and Killian lugged the musical equipment and neither of them said a word.

Fog had rolled in, or maybe it was on its way out, and if it weren’t for the green leaves, it might have felt like October. But there was something about his expression that was a hell of a lot more December. Something ending.

They were lingering almost awkwardly in their kitchen, Emma trying to casually wrack her brain for how to pull Killian out of his little funk, when he interrupted her with an overdramatic clearing of his throat.

“Ahem! Fancy a drink, Swan?” Killian extended a shot glass to her, a dark liquid inside that couldn’t be anything but spiced rum.

“What’s the occasion?” she asked hesitantly.

“Perhaps… perhaps it’s a celebration.”

“…of?”

“Your business sense, of course!” He lifted his glass toward hers for a clink and then downed the shot faster than she could even raise hers to her lips.

“What kind of business are we talking here? I’m not sure if this is the setup for an idiot joke or a reference to lyrics you swear you told me you wrote but never actually did.”

“Ah, love, no. Not that, this time anyway. Actually – actually, it’s about the band. And ‘Grand Theft Autumn.’ They loved it like you said they would.”

“They being?”

“The record company. They loved it. And they want it. And us.”

Holy shit! She knew it. They were going to be famous. Killian deserved it so much and they were going to be huge and everyone was going to love him just like she did and –

Wait.

“When you say they want you… do you mean, like, deferred acceptance so you can finish college or…”

“No, love. The boys and I … we’re packing up and moving to LA.”

She was dumbfounded.

“LA?”

“Aye.”

“When?”

“Monday.”

That’s right about the time her stomach dropped to her heels and the rum threatened its way back up her throat and perhaps onto Killian’s perfectly rumpled white shirt.

She just – wasn’t ready to let him go.

She could hear his honey-smooth voice drift through her head, his own lyrics seeming oddly relevant to this dramatic turn in her life.

Maybe he won’t find out what I know; you were the last good thing about this part of town.

So they drank. And drank. And drank some more. They were more honest with each other than they’d been in three years. She told him how much she hated that he thought setting his clocks early would keep him from being late. And he told her that he didn’t truly think that… it just had fit as a song lyrics and he felt like he needed to “make it authentic by living it.”

She called him pretentious and he called her painfully adorable and neither were true and yet somehow they felt like the perfect identifiers for the characters they were trying to be when they weren’t with each other.

So of course she fell into bed with him that night. Her bed. The twinkly lights hung around her ceiling were flickering as he kissed a trail down her neck and she tugged off his way-too-tight jeans and dear fucking lord if she thought the only thing he could do with his tongue was sing, she was officially wrong.

But come morning she was officially gone. As the sun rose on a rainy June Sunday morning, she slipped out of her bed, slid into whatever clothes she could reach without making noise, and jogged all the way to David’s brother’s frat house to hide until Monday came and went and when exactly did her life turn into an emo song?

When I wake up I’m willing to take my chances on the hope I forget

September. Friday the 13th. Pandora malfunction. Her brain was reeling and her heart was shattering all over again, because the song pumping through her pathetic tinny Dell speakers was, on first blush, just another of his melodramatic fictions, a series of sentiments that sounded good together but that he’d never actually experienced (he’d admitted the best songs were much like Hey There Delilah… a lovely story and 0% real). But she could hear something genuine in that still so attractive voice. And then… a few familiar thoughts.

I’ll be as honest as you let me

I miss your early morning company

If you get me

You are my favorite ‘what if’

You are my best ‘I’ll never know’

She’d turned off her phone the morning she’d left him in her bed. Kept it off until Tuesday. And blocked his number the minute she turned it back on.

Goodbyes were bad enough. To have been reduced to his very last college-one-night-stand? She couldn’t face it.

(Especially because she’d realized mid-fuck she’d kind of always wanted to be his forever, or whatever overly-romantic hyperbole he’d scoff at before writing it down in his notes.)

She hadn’t let herself think of him for longer than the span of one of his songs since that day. Even then, she’d usually change the channel. It was just too hard.

But could this one actually be about her? And if so, what the fuck was she supposed to do with that? Cry? Scream? Sue his sorry ass for slander?

(Not that one.)

She’d made a lot of mistakes in her life. He’d never been one of them, not until the end. Is it possible that didn’t need to be the end at all?

My 9 to 5 is cutting open old scars

Again and again til I’m stuck in your head

He’d probably had a lot of almosts. Maybe he’d just gotten better at faking genuine emotion in his songs. There’s no way he still thought about her. Even for lyrical dramatics.

I wish I’d known how much you loved me

I wish I’d cared enough to know

I’m sorry every song’s about you

The torture of small talk

With someone you used to love

Well there you had it. Small talk? They hadn’t talked in years. And she already knew every song was total bullshit, made up longing. Some of his best lovelorn pandering (that she admittedly loved) had been written when he claimed to be incapable of actual love. When he would only sleep with dark-haired, dark-eyed girls who didn’t want anything more than a good breakfast the next morning.

(I’m not looking for a soulmate, darling, just a beauty without a gag reflex, he’d repeated on many occasions. Sometimes literally to the women he was hitting on. And yes, they did usually blow him afterward and he would inexplicably tell her and she Did. Not. Care.)

(Until the day she realized she always had.)

A week after he’d moved to Los Angeles had been the 4th of July. It being summer and most of her friends working various jobs, she didn’t think there would be a huge party. James had insisted, though, that they needed to celebrate the fact that their friends were getting famous. David had pointed out the irony that the band – Killian, Will, Robin, and Graham – were all from outside of the USA. And yet they were being celebrated on America’s birthday.

“Stealing things from others is the American way. Now drink, little brother!” James had shouted just before his frat brothers lifted him into keg stand position and he chugged.

Emma wasn’t one for keg stands, so she’d opted for drinking straight liquor instead, and from what she could extrapolate from the massive headache the next morning (in addition to the vomit in her bedside garbage can), she had likely drank that bottle in its entirety.

After the opening of Pandora’s box that fateful Friday the 13th, Emma couldn’t think of much else but her almost-maybe-something Killian Jones. Suddenly his stupid band was everywhere and that stupid song was everywhere and she was feeling a deep longing to connect with that girl who had two whole albums by two different bands written about her to see how the fuck she coped with old wounds being opened every fucking visit to the grocery store.

(Then again, Brand New and Taking Back Sunday weren’t quite so mainstream. Maybe that’s how she survived.)

(Is that what you call a getaway? Tell me what you got away with, cause I’ve seen more spine in jellyfish; I’ve seen more guts in 11 year old kids.)

She’d taken to keeping the radio off at all times, and humming the Star Spangled Banner when she couldn’t escape Killian’s stupidly attractive and all-too-familiar voice gracing the airwaves.

Ruby asked her out for drinks, and alcohol was exactly the cure for her current tumult, so she agreed on the very specific request that they hit the country bar downtown instead of their usual Rabbit Hole escapades. Which worked out great for avoiding song-specific reminders, but sadly didn’t keep all Killian talk at bay.

“By the way, how have you been holding up?” Ruby asked, probably in response to Emma’s downing two shots – one of which that had been intended for Ruby – in the first minute or so at the table.

“What do you mean, holding up?” She wasn’t that transparent, right?

“Well the song… the one Killian wrote about you. It’s, like… huge. Weird how he waited this long. Did he warn you first or anything?”

… what? It wasn’t about her. Sure, it kind of, a little bit, had some moments that seemed like they could be inspired by her. But it had been nine fucking years and she hadn’t seen him since the morning she slinked away from their house and it’s not like he’d ever reached out or anything (or at least he didn’t try very hard, because blocking a cell phone number wasn’t like blocking a whole-ass person), hence her nine years of denial and shoving down her feelings like the very opposite of the emo kid she once was.

She probably looked like that stupid meme of the lady thinking about math and her heart was beating nearly out of her chest, but somehow the only sound that made it out of her mouth was, “huh?”

Ruby, bless her heart, was much better at dealing with, you know, life than Emma was. And sorting through feelings and coping with unprecedented situations that Emma had so far only seen odd iterations of in Hallmark movies or … emo music videos, probably.

“The song. Fourth of July. It’s been a while since he wrote a song about you and I mean usually they were about pining for you, which is a little more tolerable, probably. But this one… I don’t know. I just figured you probably didn’t appreciate it, and that’s why you were drinking my shots.”

Another lame, dumbfounded response: “What? Killian’s never written a song about me.”

Ruby’s eyebrow shot up to her hairline (the way Killian’s always had when she said something silly). “So all that shit in college was…?”

“Made up! Ruby, he was a creative writing major. He just made up characters and then wrote songs as if he were them. He never actually wanted to date anyone. Just fuck anything that resembled Megan Fox.”

Ruby didn’t say a word. She stood, walked to the bar, ordered two drinks, and sat back down with Emma a few minutes later.

“Sweetheart. You sure are dumb for a smart girl.”

And that’s how Emma’s Enlightenment began.

As it turns out, Killian’s creative writing skills were great, but not quite as great as his love for his best friend.

Yep, love. Apparently he’d loved her.

There was a reason he’d really only fucked girls that looked nothing like Emma.

There was a reason he had valued her input so much in his music.

There was a reason he’d hung out with her so often and it had nothing to do with Mary Margaret and David’s grossness.

Keep quiet; nothing comes as easy as you. Can I lay in your bed all day?

Fuck.

“Why didn’t he tell me?!”

Ruby laughed at her, which was totally uncalled for, but also kind of made a lot of sense if she had the ability to think of any of this objectively.

“Oh, honey. He told you every goddamn day in those songs. And how he acted. You’d have to be blind to not realize how much that boy loved you. So he assumed it was a ‘no’ from your side. And then after you slept with him and then he poured his heart out to you and still nothing? That was kinda it for him. But I mean, it’s been so long. I can’t believe he released a song about that now.”

At that, Emma’s jaw dropped. Hard. There was an audible pop and damnit, she was going to have to ice that later, probably.

“How do you know I slept with him?!”

“… because you had a fight about it literally in front of every person you knew?”

HUH?

The buzz of the alcohol was nothing compared to the stinging behind her eyes and the pain in her gut and seriously had the past decade actually been a very different reality from what she’d been living?

And how had Mary Margaret, AKA the Secret Spiller, never told her that A) Killian loved her or B) that Emma had apparently had a blacked-out fight with him in front of everyone?

Emma’s Enlightment continued.

Apparently no one spilled the secret because no one knew it was a secret to start. Much like Killian had, everyone thought that Emma knew his feelings, but that she just wanted to be friends.

And after the blow up on the Fourth of July, they just assumed she didn’t want to talk about it.

While David and James and a bunch of their friends were playing beer pong and Mary Margaret and Regina were trying to find another pair to play cornhole, Emma had been nursing a bottle of Jack Daniels from the roof of the frat house. She’d crawled out of Jefferson’s window, much to his annoyance (he worked in the morning and needed to sleep), and she just watched. Everyone was having a good time. The best days of their lives were now or even tomorrow.

But hers were yesterday.

So she drank and she drank and she drank until the boys were lighting off fireworks and Belle had started a chant of USA! USA! And out of nowhere she saw the floppy brown hair and scuffed-up leather jacket she’d been wishing for every minute of the last week.

“Swan! I need to speak with you!” he’d called up at her, perched on the Lion statue at the front entrance.

But, of course, he’d been pulled in a thousand different directions as soon as everyone else saw their about-to-be-famous friend. So Emma drank and drank and drank some more, not prepared to actually have to say goodbye this time.

Ruby wasn’t sure how long it took until Killian made it onto the roof with her. She did know they’d only been talking a few minutes when Emma started screaming at the top of her lungs about thanks for the memories, even though they weren’t so great. That seemed to have really upset him, because then he started screaming about why the bloody hell did you sleep with me then and Emma had cried but ultimately said she didn’t mean to and he needed to just leave because that’s what he was going to do anyway and there was no reason to feel sorry for her.

There had been more screaming that wasn’t quite intelligible (thank goodness), but when all was said and done, Killian had told Ruby that he laid it all down on the line, how much he loved her, how he wanted her to go with him to LA, how he really would burn down the whole city just to show her the light, but she’d said no. Emphatically.

Before crying so hard in Jefferson’s closet that he threatened to take her to the ER. When Emma passed out, Killian had carried her to his car (the only sober one) and carried her into her room when they got to his now-former house, leaving her with a kiss on the cheek and his later assurance to Ruby that at least he had tried.

And Emma didn’t remember.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” Emma muttered to Ruby.

Was there anything worse than finding out something that could have changed your life nine fucking years too late? She had never loved anyone like she’d loved Killian. It had been the easiest relationship of her existence. She’d never felt more safe, more valued, more… loved. But she’d thought it was friend-love.

(Even after the amazing sex.)

What a fucking dumbass she was.

Ruby left her to gather her thoughts/sulk in the corner for at least three line dances before she came back over to their table, bringing Emma a nice tall water as she cleared the un-drunk Long Island Iced Tea from next to Emma’s slumped head.

“I don’t think I can ever un-fuck this up,” Emma whined into her elbow before sitting up to chug the glass of water.

“I do have his number,” Ruby offered.

Hey um Ruby gave me your number and apparently I have a lot to apologize for

Congratulations on the fame also by the way I loved you every minute of every day

This is Emma, remember me? Apparently your song about me is doing really well

Hey Killian, I was wondering if you ever made it to this side of the country any more

I don’t know what to say except I’m sorry

After about 15 failed attempts to send him a message that would convey the depth of her regret, she nearly gave up. Hands shaking, legs bouncing, lunch threatening to make an encore appearance, she pulled up the lyrics to his new song, took a screenshot,

And all my thoughts of you

They could heat or cool the room

And now don’t tell me you’re fine

Oh, honey, you don’t have to lie

And added:

I’m not fine.

It was a very painful 26 hours before she received a response, a screenshot with an addition as well.

I said I’d never miss you, but I guess you’ll never know

Where the bridges I have burned never really led home

Can I come home?

They met outside the old frat house (now shut down) a week later, staying awake until sunrise just catching up on all that had happened since they last saw each other (and a little bit of what happened when they did). She brought sparklers and he brought nine years of unreleased song lyrics.

And when his band’s next single was called Opening Pandora’s Box on Friday the Thirteenth, well, everyone but Emma just thought they were being their usual melodramatic selves.

Yeah, songs about her weren’t all that awful after all.

#cs ff #cs au ff #cs au #keisha writes #things i love #captain swan #emo music #BAM I PUT THEM TOGETHER #if you like this let me know?#because I think we'd be friends

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sapphireglyphs · 4 years

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i was not tagged but saw it on @agustdfeatrm blog and reading her answers inspired me to wanna play too!

When did you first get into bts? late september of 2019

why or/and how did you get into bts: i actually wrote about my experience with bts for my first festa this year. i technically listened to my first bts song randomly when i was at work and my k-pop shuffle playlist on youtube recommended “boy with luv” but the first time i was introduced to group itself was through my best friend @omiyukio. i had developed a hyperfixation with exo earlier that year and was swapping song suggestions, member profile info, and youtube compilation vids -- she would listen to exo music and in turn i would listen to bts songs. now, almost a year later, we both became hardcore exotannies. 🤩

first bts song: “Boy With Luv” feat. Halsey

favorite bts song?: i don’t think it’s possible to have just one favorite bts song bc their discography is so diverse, extensive, and well produced. i’ll list my top 25:

1: Ddaeng (땡) 2: So Far Away 3: Trivia 轉: Seesaw 4: Baepsae (뱁새) 5: Still With You 6: Home 7: Serendipity 8: Spring Day 9: Euphoria 10: Pied Piper 11: Singularity 12: Whalien 52 13: Epiphany 14: My Time 15: Magic Shop 16: Tonight 17: Fake Love 18: Tomorrow 19: ON 20: Blue & Grey 21: Sweet Night 22: Filter 23: Lie 24: We On 25: Intro: Persona

first official comeback: black swan

favorite bts era: mots:7

bias(s): namjoonie

bias wrecker(s): yoongles + gukkie

first concert: online: bang bang con, offline i had front row tickets + sound check to see them at the rose bowl this year for my birthday but a stupid world wide pandemic cancelled that... i’m not bitter...😒 not yet

do you own any merch: i got the mots edition of the army bomb for my birthday from my bff @omiyukio ♡ I own an RJ plush keychain, a mini sitting Kookie plush, and a mini ARMY bomb keychain. i also have the membership kit which i had ordered back in january but i just received last month.😅

what member would you say you are most like? my bff says that i remind her of hobi... but i wish i had the work ethic he has (or any of the guys have). i do see similarities though. both hobi and i have a rather positive outlook on life. we thrive on making other people happy (but not really in the way that jin does; i feel like their approach to making others happy is different) and we don’t like to stress and would much rather go with the flow. we’re both very sensitive people who are passionate about the things that bring us joy. i also feel like despite the fact that we can potentially be amazing superstars in our own capacity, we both are happiest when we are supporting and working with others so that we may share in the success as a team. also, we both make weird noises and often times talk to ourselves. the people around us have done their best to acclimate to our idiosyncrasies.😂😂😂

favourite bts lyrics:

from so far away:

dream, hope it to be there with you at your creation and at the end of your life dream, will be generous to you wherever you stand dream, will eventually be in full bloom at the end of hardships dream, the beginnings will seem humble, so prosperous will the future be

from fake love:

I wish love was perfect as love itself ... I grew a flower that can’t be bloomed in a dream that can’t come true

from spring day: (honestly, i would have put the entire song 😥)

I wish to end this winter How much longings must fall like snow before that spring day arrives Friend ... Like a tiny dust wandering in void Like a tiny dust If I were a fluttering snowflake, I would be able to reach you a little faster ... The flowers of snow fall And little by little, they drift apart I miss you, I miss you How much longer should I wait and how many sleepless nights should I spend before I get to see you before I get to meet you

from house of cards:

A house made of cards, and us, inside Though we see the end, though we know that it’ll soon collapse A house made of cards- we, like fools, Even if this dream is in vain, stay like this a little longer

from outro:tear

We used to talk about forever, but now we mercilessly destroy each other I thought we dreamed the same dream, but now the dream truly became just a dream My heart breaks Please rather burn it so that the pain and my lingering love don’t remain at all anymore

favourite music video: fake love, ON - kinetic manifesto: come prima, mic drop, bs&t, interlude:shadow

1 thing you love about bts: because... they’re the whole package. they’re seven ordinary (albeit very hard working and talented) guys pursuing their dream of creating music that is authentically them with the hopes that their art would bring comfort to those who take the time to listen. Despite the seemingly insurmountable odds that were stacked against them from the beginning, they rose to the challenge with poise, humbleness, and immaculate work ethic. Their brotherhood, their message of standing up for the youth, the disenfranchised whose voices are so often silenced, their courage to be unabashedly themselves constantly challenging what the industry or the world expects of them, their ever enduring love and appreciation for their fans, their powerful and moving music that is raw, poignant, and lyrically moving... all of these reasons are why i love bts.

and to finish off wholesomely, do you have a favourite bts group photo, if so share it here (if not, what is your fav concept photoshoot and share picture):

i tag @omiyukio and anyone else that is interested! tag me too so that i can read your answers! 💜

#about the blogger #consider yourself tagged #bts #bangtan #bangtan sonyeondan #long post

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starspray · 4 years

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1, 3, 8, 12

1. What was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for?

Baby’s first fandom was Tamora Pierce’s Tortall. I don’t remember the first pairing I specifically wrote for? It was almost certainly for Tolkien, but I’ve been primarily a genfic writer since day one, so it was probably, idk, Aragorn/Arwen or some other canon pairing.

3. Do you write fics from start or finish, or jump around?

I used to jump around but for me that leads to writing all the scenes I want to write and then never ever connecting them, so these days I go from start to finish. This mostly results in taking a very long time to really get started, but when I do I usually manage to actually finish the fic, so it works out.

8. Do you listen to music while you write? If so, share a song that’s been inspiring you lately.

I do! I make different playlists for different projects, and having just looked through them The Swan of Tuonela has popped up in all the most recent ones. It was a prompt I got for an SWG challenge a couple months ago and it’s gorgeous.

12. Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?

Definitely have plans for a Characters Accidentally Adopt A Baby/Small Child fic sometime in the future.

#meme response #dangerously-human

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2old4kpop · 5 years

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15 Underrated Girly Kpop Songs That Make Me Go Absolutely Feral

When it comes to girl groups, more than anything I am a Blackjack and Blink. I like to listen to girl songs that make me want to murder men (and believe me, that blog post is in the works). But I’m also a ONCE, as TWICE are my sweet darling babies, but they’re about as girly as I can tolerate. I’m not one for the super girly concepts. I mean, did you guys ever see MINX? Occasionally I ironically jam to Shakey Love Shakey Shakey Shakey Shakey Love, but it was an absolute blessing from the K-pop gods to rebrand them as Dreamcatcher. It’s really only the A-list girly songs I tolerate, like GFriend or Oh My Girl. Everything else below them just seems really cringy.

Except for a few chosen few that are so good that they make me absolutely lose all of my shits. And I’m talking about songs that nobody seems to know like at all. Either these songs came out when the groups were still under the radar, before they had their big smash hits, or they just never seemed to rise to the top. But they are still valid and important. Videos are linked in the song names, since Tumblr won’t let me add more than five videos, but here we go.

15. April- Dream Candy

April is one of those rare groups that pull off the girly concept so well but don’t ever seem forced, like they are just truly naturally sweet and pure and precious. Honestly all of their songs are great, and it’s tragic that they haven’t had a comeback in 2019. But their debut, Dream Candy, is the one that really gets deep in my soul to that animal part of my brain that makes me scream this god damn chorus. But only really at the end. I never really listened to this song until it came on shuffle one day when I was walking home in the rain, and thought, why not listen to this awkward girly song, and then the last chorus hit and OH MY GOD. It’s a good one guys.

14. Momoland- Jjan! Koong! Kwang!

So this song comes out by some unknown group called uh, Momoland?, with a title that is just a bunch of sounds that don’t exist in English, and I felt like I was the only one on Earth that was like, “This is fine.” I was honestly in some I Am Legend universe where instead of me being the only living person on Earth, I was the only one that liked Momoland’s debut. As time went on Momoland started putting out what is pretty much some of the worst K-Pop that exists (I mean, have you SEEN the video for Wonderful Love? Try not to cringe challenge) and sadly enough this group just faded into obscurity and never had any huge, Earth shattering hits or anything.

13. DIA- My Friend’s Boyfriend

On paper this song is awful. I mean it’s a song about being a petty bitch who has decided to steal their friend’s boyfriend, hence the title. Also the song ads cute little quirks like *squints eyes to read this metaphorical paper closer* coughing. Also the video has an unnecessarily long intro. But believe me when I tell you that this is an absolute slapper.

12. Gugudan- Wonderland

It’s a crime that Gugudan has never really hit it off, even with two I.O.I members. Their debut has this amazing Little Mermaid concept and believe me when I tell you that this chorus is best when screamed at the top of your lungs. After all the screaming I am basically in a manic state by the la la la’s.

11. LOONA 1/3- Love&Live

You’ll notice that the main theme of this list is that the choruses are absolute fire. But this one comes in and basically knocks the wind out of me with sweetness, like some kind of aegyo Kool-Aid man. It’s really the music that does it for me in this one, along with the melody, along with Heejin’s perfect high note. If this song doesn’t make you smile then you are a robot, like ViVi.

10. Shannon Williams- Why Why

If Ant and/or Dec were here, they would hear this song and definitely say that Britain’s Got Talent. Shannon is the British IU,hands down, undeniably, I will not be taking questions at this time. But it’s very sad that her career was nonexistent after this came out. Was it the fact that this features a sixteen-year-old grinding against faceless boys? Or that this video widely revolves around her intensely stalking someone? It can’t be the song because that is perfect.

9. AOA- Bingle Bangle

Okay so some history for those non-Elvises out there. AOA was THE HOTTEST girl group for a good minute, with so many timeless collaborations with the Brave Brothers that really changed the shape of female K-Pop for a while. And then ChoA left the group. And without the only member who could actually sing the face of the group, AOA kind of went quiet, save for a few Jimin solo songs. Then AOA came back with a new sound, and while everyone else thought it was terrible, I thought it was a bop! And I love the video and the concept! And the dance for this is so fun. Bingle Bangle is a real yes for me dawg. It’s only too bad that they lost yet another member and their concept was handed off to FNC’s new girl group. Speaking of which...

8. Cherry Bullet- Really Really

Yeah so they literally gave this entire “girls in a video game but it’s fun and cute” concept to Cherry Bullet, and they hit the ground running with it. This comeback in particular is my favorite of theirs because it hits one of my favorite pop music tropes: Having A Funky Instrumental Chorus, Only At The End To Put Words Over The Music. It ticks all my boxes.

7. Rainbow- Whoo

If you ever wanted to hear a song that made you scream “RAAAAIIINBOOW AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” then this is it. At this point in this list we start to hear the songs that make me truly insane, and this song absolutely destroys me. It’s really sad, however, that this is basically Rainbow’s swan song, as it was their last song before disbandment.

6. Matilda- Macarena

I bet you haven’t even HEARD of Matilda. I bet you didn’t even KNOW that MATILDA just DISBANDED a FEW MONTHS AGO because ALL THEIR SONGS WERE BAD except for THIS ONE which is just full of CHAOTIC GOOD ENERGY and if you don’t ENJOY THIS then GET OFF MY LAWN.

5. Berry Good- Angel

Berry Good was destined to be one of those girl groups, like Matilda, that came from a tiny company and was just given bad songs and were set up to fail. So they crowdfunded, and somehow made two incredible comebacks, Don’t Believe (which is a whole other story that we won’t get into today, but it’s an amazing song that you should check out) and prior to that, Angel. I don’t even know where to begin with this song because it literally makes me forget who I am and why I exist. It’s a banger?? This song starts off so soft and pure and jumps right into a chorus that makes you bang your head and scream “I TAKE A CHANCE, YOU NEVER KNOW” as loud as possible. And right when you think you can’t take it anymore, that you are gasping for air because you are drowning in perfection, THEY GO EVEN HARDER. Like, girls, you did not need to go that hard. Holy shit. They go full IU in Good Day. I don’t know why we were blessed with this, especially since after this all their other songs have been garbage, and they’ve been so unsuccessful that they lost their strongest member and they’re heading for disbandment. But we have this gem, and I’m thankful for it.

4. 4Minute- Heart To Heart

Back when 4Minute was just another 2NE1 clone, trying to compete in the market of “Girls Who Look Tough But Are Actually Sweet” 4Minute, aka The HyunA Group, put out this. Third Geners, this is what Second Gen was all about. This is the meaning of Christmas, Charlie Brown. This song is everything. It’s perfect. And it’s too bad that 4Minute didn’t really stick with this sound, but also not, since with their more mature concept they wound up getting pretty famous once Park Bom... I mean, we’re not gonna talk about it.

3. Hyolyn- Bae

Okay so I know that Hyolyn as an entity is not technically considered underrated, but her entire solo career is being slept on and I don’t understand. With Sistar gone, and now Red Velvet carrying the torch for summer anthems, Hyolyn doesn’t necessarily have to give us one of the best summer songs of all time but she did. Every second of this song to me is perfect. And yeah okay I’ll admit it, I am a Gay, I am attracted to women, and Hyolyn is a lot of. A lot of wow. She and HyunA are exactly my type, and this video is a lot. But the SONG you guys. It’s so much that I told even regular people who listen to English music to listen to this song. They didn’t, of course, because the world doesn’t appreciate Hyolyn like I would, I mean like I do as a fan and nothing else. This song was my summer anthem in 2018, Power Up wishes it was this good.

2. BESTie- Thank U Very Much

One of the things that really got me into K-Pop during the Second Gen was that it sounded so much like pop music from my youth. This is gonna sound weird, but I grew up in a Wiccan Neo-Pagan household where 90% of the music we listened to was traditional Celtic or New Age, and if it was ever anything else it was like The Beatles (my Mom and her sisters were one of those screaming and fainting Beatles fans, the trait that was clearly passed down to me, based on what happened when I saw G-Dragon live, but that’s another story) or ABBA, or any kind of British/European pop/rock from the 70s or 80s. So once I was old enough to really find out what kind of music I liked, I dived deep into cheesy pop songs like S Club 7, Britney Spears, and the like. But I always had a soft spot for ABBA. The melodies, the music, the strange lyrics that didn’t really make sense or weren’t quite grammatically correct but it worked. I feel like that love for obscure pop, along with the 90s and early 2000s bubblegum pop, pushed me right into the K-Pop scene. And this song is the best example of that kind of weird melody with oddly used English words, but it works in the best way. The chorus of this song sounds like it was written by ABBA. The ending of this song is transcendent. Tell me you can’t picture a Korean Meryl Streep in overalls singing the ending of this song while dancing on a beach. This song makes me lose all my shits. But I do have to say that this video is uh, Not Good, especially compared with how amazing the song is. But these underrated bottom of the barrel groups don’t have much to work with in the first place, so we can’t really fault them. This song holds up, and is going to hold up for a very long time. I stan.

1. Laboum- Shooting Love

So like I said before, I don’t typically like the super sugary, super tacky, super girly girl concepts. BUT I LOVE LABOUM. ALL their girly sweet songs are AMAZING. They somehow get everything right, in their own unique way. They’re not at all like “Oh, they’re like GFriend”, “Oh, that’s like Lovelyz” or anything, if you get what I’m saying. Laboum had their own cheesy yet perfect style of girly. Aalow Aalow: A CLASSIC. Journey To Atlantis: A CLASSIC. Hwi Hwi: A CLASSIC. Only U: YES YOU GUESS IT, CLASSIC. Sugar Sugar: DON’T MAKE ME SAY IT AGAIN. I could have made this whole list with just Laboum songs. So I made myself pick one by listening to as many old Laboum songs as I could before I would become an absolutely menace to society, as I am not responsible for my actions after listening to so much girly perfectlon at once. If I was arrested and went to court for I dunno, causing distress and mayhem to the citizens of my city, my lawyer would call it “the Laboum defense.” “You see, Your Honor, my client listened to a lot of Laboum songs, and lost control of themselves and became an entity, a ball of energy, a comet destroying everything in its path while screaming cheesy Korean lyrics.” And I would be set free, of course, because who wouldn’t lose themselves completely to the power of Laboum? But anyway I picked Shooting Love, as it puts me in a manic state from the very intro until the last second. And let me just say now that I deeply mourn this old Laboum, as they came back in 2018 with a new concept that makes them sound lobotomized compared to their old sound. Like slow R&B is fine, but compared to this it’s drab and slow and dull and I hate it. I Hate It. Bring back cute Laboum in 2020, or at least study Apink if you want to see how to properly change an aging cute group into a mature group. I could go on, but now I have the urge to listen to more Laboum. You’ll see me on the evening news tonight, I’m sure.

anyway 안녕

#kpop #laboum #loona #hyolyn #aoa #momoland #A List

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