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canyouhearthelight · 1 year ago

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Machine is Perfect, but Flesh is Free Intermission

This chapter is longer than either of the previous two, and if I am correct, it is possibly longer than both combined. So hopefully that helps make up for the amount of technical things around dance that appear. For anyone who wants full context of what is going on: 1) the MC is dancing a deliberately more difficult variation of the Yuka Fukuda solo of Esmeralda.... which is already difficult enough. Every step happens on a beat, and there is not a lot of music for the piece and NO room for error, because the dancer has to kick a tambourine. Our MC is doing these kicks over their head rather than above it, which I think I have seen one dancer do only for the first portion. You can just search "Yuka Fukuda Esmeralda" to see the real one. 2) "The Fouettes" (fweh-tehs) refers to the Odette solo from Swan Lake. It is notoriously one of the most difficult passages to dance in ballet, and is also referred to as "The Thirty Two Fouettes". Spin spin spin, identically... it's exhausting, and it hurts. But if you have bionic legs and feel no pain when performing, you can imagine how boring it sounds. I swear I'm not disparaging the passage, but our MC experiences none of the things that make it hard. 3) There are two main versions of the fouette (the spin, not the passage), Italian and Russian. It actually takes less time to look up a video than listen to an explanation, and people have BIG opinions about which one is better.

All that said, thanks to @baelpenrose for making it through all these explanations the first time when I was writing it. On with the show!

For several weeks following my interrupted performance, I lived in the rehearsal studio with next to no contact from anyone except Urus and the doctor. Even M. Russo was banished from his place of power, and from the shouting I was barely able to hear through the door, he was incredibly displeased about the situation. Urus grumbled about having to bring me meals and throughout the newly added watching me while I ate. No more solid foods, only some perfectly nutritious and perfectly flavorless concoction with a texture between porridge and puree.

Two weeks into my seclusion, my surly warden finally slipped, just a bit. “Food like that for every meal, I would dive in front of the next bullet,” he muttered.

I coughed, startling him. Waving him off, I shook my head. “Bullet?” I gasped, trying to clear my throat.

He handed me a cup of water. “What about a bullet?”

The bowl of nutrients was set on my lap so I could turn my head and scowl at him. “The doctor said the bullet missed someone entirely the night I was brought here, and you just mentioned jumping in front of one now. I’m not deaf, no matter how much everyone likes to pretend I’m some windup doll. What bullet?” It was the most words I had ever spoken directly to him, and from the look on his face, I had caught him off guard.

“Someone tried to shoot you while you were performing,” he explained slowly. “With a gun.” One hand dropped to his hip where he kept his holstered.

“Me?” I blurted out in shock. “Why? I’m not important, just a toy. Not even a pet.” I pitched my voice up as far as I could. “ ‘Wind up the little ballerina, let them dance’.”

That earned a more familiar sneer. “Poor little pet, to be kept so expensively and lavishly that you don’t even need to walk anywhere for fear of bruising your feet.”

“Yes, my pretty little golden cage.” I lifted the bowl and swallowed the contents as quickly as I could, wincing as I refused to let it come back up. Gasping as I finished, I held it out. “I’ve eaten. Your punishment is done for now.”

He ignored me for several minutes, until my arm was burning and shaking. I refused to beg or acknowledge our standoff until the bowl was removed from my hand. As soon as I heard the door lock behind him, I let out a deep breath. Inhaling again and bracing myself, I slowly flexed my feet. Pain spiked up through me, but I grit my teeth and focused on breathing with every movement. The most recent treatments from Master Arik made it impossible for sweat to bead on my forehead, but my eyes and mouth felt feverish when I stopped for the water that was always within arms reach.

The memory of dancing - leaping, kicking, flying - warred with how quickly I was brought to exhaustion by the pain from something as simple as flexing my ankles and feet. Since M. Russo was not allowed in the studio while I was being kept here, there were no rehearsals and therefore no need for nerve blocks, leaving me in full pain with every movement of my legs. After another drink of water, my anger was burning hotter than my body. “Kick,” I commanded my legs. But only so fast, my teacher’s voice echoed in my mind as I strained against my own body to lift one leg, and to resist the urge to drop it.

“Again.” Breathe. My body could do this - had done this. Again and again. Only so fast, only so high, I reminded myself. Limits. When my eyes and mouth were hot again, I stopped for more water and to cool down. Another limit.

In the ten winters I could remember being here, I had been very aware of my situation, but Urus’s comments today had been the first time I realized that perhaps I was the only one other than Master Arik who was aware. Clearly, Urus thought I was a pampered thing - what if he did not realize what the injections were?

I worked persistently at my own mobility, and it seemed that every small success woke my mind even further. Where I had surrendered, been complacent to my existence of agony with brief rewards of relief when I behaved, now I was suspicious and curious of everything. I was increasingly aware of how long it was taking to secure my personal quarters, where the studio had taken only a day or so. Plots and accusations lurked in every corner of my mind that suddenly had light shining in them - why did the serving people never speak when they attended me before? Why was Urus assigned to me and me alone? Surely Arik had other trophies - why had I never seen or heard of them?

Instead of keeping time by the things done to me - baths, meals, rehearsals I was led to and from - I began marking time by what I could do. I could slowly kick my legs five hundred times in a row each before needing to stop for water. I could hold both feet in front of me for fifteen minutes at a time without assistance, ignoring the sharp electric razors spiking through them without a headache.

By the time I was released from my isolation in the studio, I could hold my knees to my chest with only the muscles in my legs and stomach for an astonishing five minutes. I had not dared to stand, but was contemplating the attempt when the locks on the entrance slammed open and Master Arik entered, accompanied by Urus and three other guards. My back was to the door and viewing glasses, but I still dropped my feet quickly to their rests in my chair before even his brisk step could come around to face me.

“It is a good day,” he started without preamble. “Full of good news. The man who tried to kill you has been executed, and your new quarters are finally ready.”

“Kill me?” I asked stupidly.

He waved my concern away. “Someone sent to hurt me by stealing you, once your value became known. Thankfully, you were not injured, but measures had to be taken.”

Was I so valuable that someone would kill me to hurt him? I doubted it, but he seemed quite certain, so I nodded along. “And new rooms?”

“And a new insurance policy,” he assured. “To reflect your new value.”

Urus nodded towards my bedding and personal effects before grabbing my chair. Mechanically, I followed the script that was ingrained in me. “And my parents?”

“Compensated to reflect your rising stock,” Arik responded. Where before I had only been concerned that my family was not starving, now I was suspicious that the answer was equally rote and mechanical to my question.

With that, our accustomed exchange had ended, and Master Arik was supervising my removal from the studio space, ignoring me again. I focused on keeping my features slack and dull, but this time I paid as close attention as possible to what was being said around me. I learned I was being taken to the second floor, not the third - apparently my quarters had been on the third floor. The studio, I found out, was on the fourth. Instead of the sloped corridors, I was to be taken by elevator, which was a luxury I had never been afforded, but was apparently more secure.

Despite my new rooms being further away, the journey was far shorter. The doors, like the ones on the rehearsal space, were keyed to the genetic pattern Master Arik’s doctors had placed in me. Only he, Urus, and the doctor could enter without an escort - and myself, obviously, but it was left unsaid that the idea of my leaving under my own power was laughable. The poor paper dancer could not walk, after all.

Once we entered, Arik turned with his arms extended, a smile on his face. “The walls have been reinforced, the windows filled and shuddered on the exterior with plates. To ensure your safety, obviously.” Leaning over, eyes cold, he flicked the end of my nose, his false grin never budging. “No need for cameras anymore. Any and all items and persons to enter and leave will be checked and accompanied by security.”

No windows. No more birds. No more clouds. A more secure cage than ever.

My face must have betrayed nothing that concerned him, as he stood and clapped his hands once. “Sleep tonight, and tomorrow you will perform.”

I shook my head, confused. “Perform? Not rehearse?”

He clucked his tongue. “You still need to complete your performance as Esmeralda. It will be in the studio, and only myself and M. Russo will be in attendance, but you will be recorded so that your stock can be valued. It is not ideal, but it will have to suffice. Currently, your value is contingent.”

“I understand, Master Arik,” I muttered numbly. I understood nothing, except that I had no say in the matter.

Striding to the door, he turned to Urus, who followed at his elbow. “Have dinner brought and have them bathed properly. They will be dressed here in the morning and brought to the studio for exhibition.”

—-

After a nearly sleepless night, I was roused from a fitful half-sleep by the lights in my quarters being turned on - no dawn noises, no slivers of sunrise, just a sudden bright pain stabbing through my eyelids. Groggily, I allowed myself to be washed again, shoved into my costume, makeup slathered on my face. My nerve blocks were not applied until after I heard the thud of the studio doors securing behind me, M. Russo pointing to my mark with his baton. Rather than listening for the warm ups of the orchestra, a recorded track was played as it had been in any rehearsal, although this time without M. Russo counting me off. Nonetheless, I stepped and kicked as intricately as I had intended to when it had been a theater of people watching rather than my teacher, my master, and who knew how many cameras. Each motion as controlled and flawless up close as it would have appeared from a balcony, each sounding of the tambourine measured and equal to the rest.

I finished, face impassive, without any applause. Instead, Master Arik drummed his fingers on his seat, head tipped to the side. “It is a beautiful and dangerous interpretation,” he frowned.

“It is a traditional one,” M. Russo responded carefully. “A difficult one, to demonstrate their skill.”

“A kick like that could kill a man.”

A gruff laugh followed. “Only by breaking his heart. The feet are too fragile for anything more. They can hardly walk without your permission.”

Arik nodded, but seemed distracted. “I will have the footage released for valuation. Uncut, I think.”

“To cut it is to imply imperfection. Release all of it. There are no flaws to hide.”

“We shall see.” Standing, Arik nodded again. “Russo. The fouettes next, I believe.” WIth that, he left.

No sooner had the door shut again than I was peeling out of my costume, inspecting my feet. M. Russo did not even pretend to look away - he made no secret that his interest in my body was perfunctory at best. “No blisters,” I reported, disgruntled.

“Mme Boulvais is much more careful than her predecessor,” he agreed. “And the softer shank made a difference. But shorter in the right shoe for the next performance, I think. You were barely over the box.”

“Those toes are shorter,” I agreed. “And the ankle bends further. But the fouettes?” I pinched my face.

M. Russo seemed to agree, tossing his hands in the air. “You can leap like a cat, you can kick as though you have no bones, but he wants you to twirl in place for heavens only know how long.”

“I can do them Russian,” I suggested, feeling more mischievous than I could recall feeling in my entire life.

He gripped his baton like a sword. “I will cane you from the top of your head to the soles of your feet if you do even a dozen Russian fouettes before my eyes. And then I will ask Master Arik to gouge them from my head so I may never see such a travesty again.”

I smiled softly, stretching deeply and grabbing my toes. “He said my Esmeralda was dangerous. That the kicks could kill a man.”

From behind, I heard my teacher scoff. “I would agree if you did not need medical magic to merely walk. A kick like that could break a man’s jaw at least, snap his neck at worst. But as you would never kick me like that, and cannot even stand to attempt it when you are elsewhere, it is a vain fear.”

I hummed, hoping he would take it in agreement. It seemed he had, as by the time I stood again, he had resumed his teaching posture. “Go ahead. Show me your fouette. Ten to the left, then ten to the right.”

Automatically and without music, I started. Traditionally, the passage Master Arik was requesting used identical turns to the right, but we rehearsed with both to err on the side of caution. Arik was known to add or change something at any time if he felt it was something new. By the end of the day, both of my calves stung from being struck to correct their height or how soon I did nor did not whip my leg out - M. Russo had not been joking about his insistence on Italian over Russian. As the weeks progressed, more and more turns were added, along with various surfaces for me to balance on for precision. A strange tool was brought to ensure that my legs were at exactly ninety degrees, a position I had to hold for as long as ten minutes at a time.

By nights, I was standing under my own trembling power for just as long.

Unlike in the past, rehearsals went on for nearly half a year. Increasing levels of difficulty were added, in theory to explain the time it was taking. In reality, I overheard my security discussing the increased measures to make Master Arik’s keep more and more secure, to make the performance hall doubly so. The idea made me feel melancholic rather than secure, and I avoided analyzing the feeling too hard with my newfound inquisitiveness. Most importantly, the next performance was intended to be ‘exclusive’ as an excuse to limit any chance at another incident, and all staff were undergoing intensive background screening and medical analysis. My own medical exams went on the same schedule as before.

After all, I wasn’t staff - I was property.

#machine flesh #original fiction #science fiction #original science fiction #traumatized characters #writeblr #original sci fi #writers on tumblr #cyberpunk #bio hacking #chronic pain #imprisonment

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liquidstar · 2 years ago

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new oc batch ready! 8 more of these guys lol. the whole deal with this set is they’re from the artisan guild- lunar flair! intentionally spelled like “flair” as in “style” or “a flare for ____” rather than “flare”

basically all the members of the guild are different kinds of artists with different niches (and varying degrees of diva-ness). it’s pretty easy to tell who does what based on the everything about them, but if you want more info their bios are still under the cut!

Name: Jupiter

Name Origin: The planet of course

Pronouns: He/him

Age: 52

Guild rank: Guildmaster

Weapon: Lightning rods

Ethos (Power): Gigantomachy. He can make himself (even more) giant

Flaw power is based on: His overly protective nature, especially where the guild is concerned.

Notes: Literally the nicest guy ever until you provoke him though

Name: Erinome (Erin)

Name Origin: A moon of jupiter, the exact meaning of it’s name is murky but it can refer to grace or purity

Pronouns: She/her

Age: 13

Guild rank: 2 star

Weapon: A Book.

Ethos (Power): Poetic Imagery. Illusions cast forth by his her poems that change the appearance of the physical environment

Flaw power is based on: Her escapist indulgence in fantasy

Notes: You know, like, the pen is mightier than the sword and all that.

Name: Pictor

Name Origin: The constellation meaning “painter”

Pronouns: He/him

Age: 23

Guild rank: 3 star

Weapon: Giant paintbrush

Ethos (Power): Ardor. He can create three-dimensional things with his paintbrush. However they are not animate or alive.

Flaw power is based on: His conceited nature in regards to his own work.

Notes: Goes to museums to talk about how he could probably do it better anyway

Name: Oberon

Name Origin: A moon of the planet Uranus, it gets it’s name from the king of the fairies in Renaissance literature. Notably in Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night's Dream

Pronouns: He/him

Age: 29

Guild rank: 5 star

Weapon: Rapier

Ethos (Power): Fantasia. An illusion of changing his own appearance.

Flaw power is based on: His theatrical nature, of course

Notes: Why is he ourple?

Name: Syrma

Name Origin: A star in virgo, it’s name refers to the train of a garment (Typically worn by actors in tragedies)

Pronouns: She/her

Age: 25

Guild rank: 4 star

Weapon: Giant needle

Ethos (Power): Binding threads. She can create stitches on any solid objects and bind them to each other. Including people- The stitches are manifested energy and do not hurt.

Flaw power is based on: The dependency she often has on bonds- i.e. threads that bind people.

Notes: She makes and models all her own clothes.

Name: Parumleo

Name Origin: A star in Pisces, it’s name means “small lion”

Pronouns: They/he

Age: 19

Guild rank: 3 star

Weapon: Microphone bardiche

Ethos (Power): Persuasion. If they can make you laugh you’ll temporarily have to follow his orders. Though it’s too weak to call full-blown mind control, and fairly easy to snap out of.

Flaw power is based on: His desire to be liked by others.

Notes: They’re like a lolcat. They can haz cheezburger.

Name: Leda

Name Origin: A moon of jupiter, the name means swan.

Pronouns: She/her

Age: 28

Guild rank: 4 star

Weapon: Duel ribbons

Ethos (Power): Poise. Complete and utter weightlessness.

Flaw power is based on: Her carefree and utterly absent-minded nature.

Notes: You guys know swan lake right? Well, there ya go.

Name: Styx

Name Origin: A moon of pluto that gets it’s name from the river of the underworld. Yeah it’s also a rock band.

Pronouns: She/they

Age: 20

Guild rank: 3 star

Weapon: Axe-guitar.

Ethos (Power): Vibrato. Powerful soundwaves cast by her axe-guitar

Flaw power is based on: Her brash and blasé attitude

Notes: Calls everyone “baby” or “babe” because they’re a cool rockstar.

#finn's ocs #oc references #finn's art #YAY i finally get to post my funny little artist guys #i feel like its fairly obvious what each persons gimmick is but just for the sake of brevity (for anyone who doesnt wanna read the readmore)#in order #jupiter doesnt have a Specific art bc hes the guildmaster and you can think of him as more of a teacher of sorts #erin is a poet/writer. pictor is obvs a painter. oberon is a thespian. syrma is a seamstress #parumleo is a comedian. leda is a ballerina. and styx is a musician (or straight up rockstar)#since these characters are all like.. trinary characters they dont go all Too much deeper than their gimmicks #but thats why theyre fun to design bc its like. what if [thing] was a guy LOL #also i wanted to try some new stuff out w their designs (like syrmas dimples for example) so i hope they look okay? i hope so...#also leda and how shes literally the least clothed character ive ever made. shes going to catch a cold for sure yeah #parumleo i worry about bc i had a fairly similar color pallet for asterope (but no red) so i hope he still stands out. the lolcat....#oh also if erin and oberon's powers sound similar that's on purpose too. shes like his protege #i feel like out of all of them though pictor is like the prime example of guy who should be in an artist guild LOL #like the most archetypal. most ppl think of painters when they think of artists #but i wanted different types in there too.#painters writers actors even funnymen and rockstars. they all belong. theyre all weird about creating #anyway im glad i can finally post them now ^_^

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child0feden · 2 months ago

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33,38,41,43- 🐀

୨୧ i love answering these so so so much! thank you for participating in my little ask game, rat anon <3

do you wear makeup?

nope! unfortunately i have like, seriously sensitive skin that has just never reacted well to any kind of makeup so i just… do not wear it, at all! i am completely bare face all day, every day…

it either makes my skin really dry, overly oily, weirdly patchy or makes me break out in acne and sometimes even rashes! not fun at all and i have just started getting a super clear face the past couple of years so i have not risked that shit and to be honest? i am kind of completely fine with it? at first i was pretty upset at how sensitive my skin was but now i am kind of cool with it, i kind of like never wearing makeup for some reason! fresh air feels good against a bare face, you know?

the only makeup i do use, but even then very rarely, would be mascara…

how long have you been on tumblr?

in general, i have been a user of tumblr for about eight or nine years! though i have had many blogs that have since been deleted, some even terminated because i used to be in some not so great communities and all of that bullshit, you know? things that were coping mechanisms which i eventually realised were doing me more harm than good so i deleted all of my old blogs, had an old lurker blog but now we are hereee! i made this blog just this year and my main blog two years ago, i think…

where would your dream first date take place?

you probably guessed my answer but i would just love to have a first date in a cemetery! specifically this one in my town, well on the outskirts of my town… you would have to drive there as it is super out of the way with no real paths or anything but it is gorgeous, it has a big lake just next to it that swans frequent and sheep in the field beside it! it is incredibly desolate and just beautiful to me… a lot of space to have a cute little picnic with a cd player and stuff!

i find cemeteries to be very beautiful and peaceful places, they relax me and i feel comfortable in them! the complete lack of other people is a huge bonus too… i think a first date in a cemetery would help me see the true character and personality of someone too! to see if we are truly compatible or not, to see if they respect the beauty of the death and the ancient architecture or not, all of that stuff!

name one internet reference that never fails to make you laugh!

this has to count as a reference, i think, but the infamous “ this does not even deserve a captains log introduction because this is dead serious! ” and “ i’m workin’ on it! ” lines from good old chris chan, just amazing lines that i find myself saying from time to time and laughing about, i love the video so much and it always makes me crack up! just so damn good

if not that then it would have to be the also infamous cyraxx “ ed, help me, eddd! eddd! eddd! ed, help! ” and “ call karen right now! ” lines i mean, damn! i think if i am ever in need of desperate help, i might accidentally call for ed or karen because of how badly this is engraved into my head lolol

#vera ✩#ask answered ✩#ask game ✩#anon 🐀 ✩

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cupidscatcafe · 1 year ago

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Giving EAH characters Pokèmon teams and my explanation of why I chose them + which I think would be their main

~Chariclo Arganthone Cupid~

Sylveon(Main): It evolves through affection

Clefa: I was going to do Clefairy since it evolves with high friendship but I felt like Cleffa just fit better for some reason

Mew: I think it just fits with her being a god

Decidueye: Its the Arrow Quill Pokémon and it fits with her whole bow & arrow thing

Banette: I wanted something ’scary’ to represent the fact she’s from Monster High, Banette is also a doll possessed by hatred and with enough love/care it will turn back into a toy which I think she could be helping it do 🤔

Silvally(Type: Full): It evolves through high friendship and it breaks free of its mask which I think is just really really cool

~Blondie Lockes~

Klefki: It holds keys! It would make it easier to break into peoples houses

Pokèdex Rotom: I just think she’d have a Rotom and it would, accidentally enter her MirrorPad or something 👍

Purrloin: They like to steal from people and I felt like that kind of matched the whole “breaking in and entering” thing

Teddiursa(Main), Stufful, & Ursaluna: Bear

~Ashlynn Ella~

Umbreon(Main): Umbreon is a night time evolution which is a reference Ashlynn’s whole “12 o’clock” thing (This could be switched out for an Espeon to match the “12 o’clock in the afternoon” thing in the episode “Ashlynn’s Fashion Frolic)

Mimikyu: It disguises itself with a cloak, kinda like the “disguise” she gets for the ball (Mimikyu is also my favourite Pokèmon so I wanted to give it to someone)

Pidove: In the og story Cinderella’s stepsisters have their eyes pecked out by pigeons

Talonflame: I just feel like she’d like Talonflame + another pigeon refrence

Trevenant: In the og story the Fairy godmother is a Hazel Tree next to her moms grave

Noctowl: It’s nocturnal, which is another refrence to the “12 o’clock” thing

~Duchess Swan~

Swanna(Main): Swan. Also for her pet swan Pirouette

Kirlia: It’s based on a ballet dancer

Ducklett: Same reason as Swanna, but its a duck

Galarian Zigzagoon: Kind of the same colour scheme(?)

Diancie: Theres no reason for this, I just couldn’t think of a 6th Pokèmon and my gf recomended it, it was supposed to be a place holder but I seriously couldn’t think of another one 😭

Gyarados: Red Gyarados is found in the Lake of Rage which is supposed to be a reference to the episode Duchess Swan’s Lake

~Lizzie Hearts~

Togedemaru(Main): I was going to give her a Shaymin to represent Shuffle (her hedgehog) but decided against it and Togedemaru was the next best thing

Vespiquen: Bee queen 🤯

Aegislash: It’s a knight which is usually associated with royalty, it being a sword could also be a “off with your head!” reference

Furfrou: The princess in that on XY episode had one, I think (Idk it’s been almost a year since I’ve wated it 😭)

Pyroar: “lions signify courage, strength, and power.” Which I think is perfect for Lizzie, they’re also the “king of the jungle”

Luvdisc: It’s just a heart and I strangely (kinda) cared about type match-ups for Lizzie so I wanted something to cancel out the fire type :3

~Briar Beauty~

Komala: It’s just always asleep 👍

Wurmple: This was just a reference to the Party Wurmple meme

Florges(Main) & Lilligant: I was trying to match the whole rose aesthetic thing

Ferrothorn & Spina: Both of these were supposed to be jokes on her pricking her finger on the spinning wheel but I’m not sure if it makes much sense

~Hopper Croakington II~

Cutiefly: Frogs eat flys so… y’know

Sobble: I think it matches his personality

Squirtle(Main): Hopper just gives me Squirtle vibes

Politoed: Literally the king of frogs

Spewpa & Riolu: Really no reason, I just love them and I think Hopper would too

~Cedar Wood~

Pikipek: It’s a woodpecker (this was funnier in my head)

Rowlet(Main) & Staraptor: Owls and Hawks represent truth and Cedar is cursed to tell the truth 🤯

Nuzleaf: It’s Pinocchio as a Pokèmon 🤔

Rattata: It matches her colour scheme

Shuppet: It’s the puppet pokèmon which is what Cedar is

#cupid blogs EAH

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macaroni-rascal · 1 year ago

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Just caught up on the FD, and dare I say, the best-dressed event of the GP?

Holly - our sexy Aussie mermaid - what a look. Absolutely stunning. The shape of the skirt? Perfection? It moved beautifully. The only thing I'd change is that little ruffle along the back. Jason, though. If this isn't a Shape of Water program, then why in the hell is he dressed like the Amphibian Man? Why the bolero with the awkwardly placed fins? Pretty boy done dirty. He is a Canadian novice champion, a title that famously not even VM have, so he deserves better. If he just had a dramatic shirt with flowing ruffles reminiscent of her skirt, it would've been stunning. Possibly the best program they've ever had, none of that Chaka Khan nonsense.

Hannah and Ye - perfection. Exquisite tailoring, fabulous colors and fabric, really accentuating their best features, like her gorgeous back. Stunning performance, I was completely carried away. Underscored.

I actually like Katerina's dress, it had a sense of drama, the skirt drapes and moves beautifully, maybe just the front could be a bit lower. She has the Bradie problem where she pulls her hair back too tight. The hair piece, if they're already going to use one, should've been lower on the forehead. I'm sure Oksana is delighted at the reference. His costume is barely even there, he needs to be in a lighter shirt, he completely disappears. The confusion here is why a brother and sister duo are doing Swan Lake. Like, what is the story they're telling? Big, dramatic music suits them but the choreo is just not ready for the big leagues.

The Browns again with perfunctory costumes and god-awful music. All I could think about was that moment in Clueless to this song, so I don't know why they'd give a sibling team a tune from a movie where step-siblings get together. It bothered me that the blue on her dress and his shirt didn't match. She's definitely a Gabi fan girl, she was literally doing her facial expressions. Great skating but they need a makeover.

Olivia and guy - oh, brother. This is less Elvis than Elvis impersonator. What is this man doing skating with this queen? He's not looking at her to connect with her, but to try to keep up with whatever she's doing. Even Chris called out the lack of chemistry. Again messy on some elements and at risk of getting them invalidated if the tech panel wasn't fucking asleep. They spent almost the entirety of the program in the middle of the rink, which was really confusing? There's no actual concept to this program, they even said themselves she doesn't have a character and they don't know what story they're telling. Maybe how this huge celebrity moved a 14yo in her house, married her, and then later raped her when she told him he was leaving him? Because that's the story of Elvis, and it's been out there for decades, so why choose this? Otherwise her bodysuit is a slay and just shows what Amber's could've been if just the waist was in the proper place, I just wouldn't have bedazzled the buttocks. His outfit is fine, the jacket is too big, but I don't even care what he wore, I like to pretend he wasn't even there. Find Liv a Partner on her Level 2024! I liked her hair and nose ring, what a star.

Brb with part deux: Czech bugaloo.

I'm just going to post this and part deux, because people deserve to see these reviews! <3

#fashionista nonny #konner talks skating

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queenslanddrycleaners · 2 years ago

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4 Ways That dry cleaners in Madinat Zayed Can Boost Your Business

Like restaurants, hotels, gyms, hair salons, and many other companies, many dry cleaners in madinat zayed have seen their revenue decline as a result of the coronavirus epidemic. According to one dry cleaner in Lake City, Florida, the pandemic reduced business by 85%. In the United States, some dry cleaners have been forced to close completely, while others have had to substantially cut back on their hours of operation. To keep the doors open, some dry cleaners have even started making face masks.

"We're making every effort to continue being reachable and present. However, according to Brittany Faircloth, owner of Swans Laundry &dry cleaners in madinat zayed who talked to a TV station, I think the present state of worry has substantially affected business.nIn March 2020, dry cleaners in madinat zayed spoke to the TV station WFXL.Th e worldwide dry cleaners in madinat zayed and laundry market are anticipated to have a 2.1% revenue drop in 2020 compared to 2019 due to the coronavirus pandemic, more especially the pressing need to dress up despite the growth of telecommuting and the decline of in-person gatherings.

In their daily lives, people are just doing less dry cleaning, according to Steve Thompson, owner of Sand Dollar Cleaners in Jacksonville, Florida, who spoke with First Coast News in April 2020.

Dry cleaners can implement procedures to aid them in not just surviving but also thriving in an environment where: Due to the potential danger of exposure to the new coronavirus, some customers might be reluctant to drop off and pick up dry laundry.

Online or through applications, more and more customers are placing orders for products and services.

Home delivery of meals, groceries, prescription medications, and other necessities has become more commonplace among consumers.

Here are six strategies to help your dry cleaning company adjust to what many refer to as the "new normal."

1. Establish a pickup and delivery business of your own.

If you haven't already, you should consider introducing pickup and delivery options right now. According to a 2019 poll by the food distributor U.S. Foods, many Americans are prepared to pay more for food delivery. So it seems sensible to assume that consumers of dry cleaners are willing to do the same in order to have their garments picked up and dropped off.

Your business should provide "contactless" pickup and delivery so that your drivers don't physically interact with consumers in order to adhere to social-distancing regulations.

On your website, in customer emails, and in advertising, make sure to highlight your pickup and delivery services.

2. Purchase software.

Offering pickup and delivery services is made simpler by route planning and optimization software from suppliers like Routific and Fleetio. Software for managing dry cleaners is available from businesses like Fabricare and SPOT.

3. Make your online ordering better.

Your dry cleaning company could gain by having access to online payment card orders through systems like Square and Shopify in addition to routing or management software. The procedure of allowing pickup and delivery services is made simpler as a result.

To sign up for delivery, many dry cleaners need clients to print out a delivery form and bring it in.

This deters tech-savvy customers from using certain dry cleaners, according to Ryan Harmon, co-founder and CEO of Press, a smartphone app that allows customers to pick up and drop off their dry cleaning and laundry.

4. Become a member of an outside pickup and delivery service.

You don't want to start your own delivery and pickup business. You can choose another option. You may collaborate with a pickup and delivery service like Press, Dry Drop, Rinse, Delivery.com, or Rinse. This enables you to profit from pickup and delivery while outsourcing the mechanics to a different business. According to RearchAndMarkets.com, customers are more ready than ever for simple on-demand dry cleaning and laundry services.

Every single one of us needs to employ a dry cleaning or a washing service. Consumers worry about the cleanliness of their old wardrobes even if they might not be able to buy new clothes during a recession. This is one industry that, in spite of the economic crisis, has done rather well. Additionally, it makes a tonne of money for your business. Not every dry cleaner, though, earns a million dollars. Why? We urgently need an explanation. Their lack of organization is the main factor, which results in management that is both inefficient and chaotic.

Your dry cleaning business may be regarded as a "small business," but that doesn't mean it can't develop into a highly prosperous one. Fortunately, some of the most effective methods for growing your company just require your time, effort, and a well-thought-out plan. so visit our website:https://queenslanddrycleaners.com/

#drycleanersinmadinatzayed #cheaplaundrynearme #laundryservicenearme #dressdrycleanersabudhabi #sofacleaningmadinatzayed #sportswearcleaningabudhabi #curtaincleaningservicesnearabudhabi #laundryservicesinabudhabi #menswearcleaningservicesabudhabi

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maisiestyle · 1 year ago

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Arya's heavy moon symbolism is woven through her narrative so beautifully. It draws in other connected aspects like the Swan motif that is referenced in her water dancing, duality in her identity when she transforms/wargs into the Night Wolf. Arya's desire to dance on a lake under the moonlight, likening her legs to the wings of a bird and her desire to become a swan, Nymeria howling under the light of the moon with Ghost hearing her song, Arya serves in the HoBW for 3 days of the month when there is no moon she is No One - the rest of the month she lives among the people and she has name, and all the beautiful references to the Moonmaid star constellation:

And when the Thief was in the Moonmaid, that was a propitious time for a man to steal a woman, Ygritte insisted. "Like the night you stole me. The Thief was bright that night." - Jon, ASOS

~*~

The moon was a graceful crescent, and it seemed as though he had never seen so many stars. The King's Crown was at the zenith, and he could see the Stallion rearing, and there the Swan. The Moonmaid, shy as ever, was half-hidden behind a pine tree. How can such a night be beautiful? - Jaime, ASOS

Sansa and Arya + Sun and Moon parallels in Norse Mythology

In Norse mythology, Sol and Mani are the personifications of the Sun and the Moon respectively.

The sun, the sister of the moon, from the south

No knowledge she had where her home should be,

The moon knew not what might was his

The stars knew not where their stations were.

from Voluspa, the creation epic

The parallels between Sansa and Sol:

Links to the south

The sun [...] from the south

“Sansa would shine in the south, Catelyn thought...” — Catelyn II, AGOT

Loss of identity

No knowledge where her home should be

“A pure world, Sansa thought. I do not belong here.” — Sansa VII, ASOS

The parallel between Arya and Mani:

Insecurity and low self esteem

The moon knew not what might was his

“Sansa had everything. Sansa was two years older; maybe by the time Arya had been born, there had been nothing left. Often it felt that way.” — Arya I, AGOT

However, both sisters assert their identity and begin to realise their respective strengths as the series progresses.

They also draw strength and are guided by the memory of their parents and their stark identity.

Vafthruthnismol introduces us to Sol and Mani's father, who gave them purpose

Mundilferi is he who begat the moon,

And fathered the flaming sun

The round of heaven each day they run,

To tell the time for men.

Most notably, Sol and Mani are chased by wolves called Skoll and Hati

Skoll is the wolf [that] Follows the glittering god, And [...] Hati, awaits The burning bride of heaven.

from Grimnismal

insp | source of quotes

#arya stark #asoiaf #house stark #asoiaf mythology parallels

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witchysolfan · 3 years ago

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I like your medieval au. Just wondering who the other people are in you au. Like is William Afton a suitor or is he a king that adopted Vanessa after all 3 of his heirs died?

I haven’t really thought that far ahead. I am like gonna make various references to other fairytale stories. I actually was thinking of making him a Rothbart figure (Swan Lake) who perhaps took over the kingdom for his own reasons.

Mind you, this is like supposed to be a one off thing. Maybe a fairytale writhing the Kill the Lights AU.

#au

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woolishlygrim · 4 years ago

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youtube

So, with the new Madoka Magica thing coming, I watched Rebellion again, and was reminded of how interesting and thematically rich the weird, surreal transformation sequences from that movie are.

So I looked up some people’s analyses of the sequence, and those analyses were, you know, really bad. Luckily, I’m a relaxed person who can let things go and doesn’t feel the burning need to waste a lot of time analysing a one-and-a-half minute sequence from an eight year old movie.

...

1) Mami.

Mami is really straightforward. As the transformation sequence starts, she’s doing an ice dance, a kind of dance that strives to create the impression of free movement, grace, and creative expression but which is actually governed by incredibly rigid rules, not unlike how Mami attempts to foster an external presentation of effortless, free-spirited grace, while binding herself to a rigid code of behaviour.

As she moves into her final spin, she folds up one leg, forming the shape of a grief seed, which her magical girl form tears its way out of, breaking her back open as it goes. This is some incredibly literal symbolism: For Mami, who made her wish solely to escape death while the rest of her family died and later threw herself into being a magical girl, her magical girl persona literally tore its way out of her grief, breaking the person she was before.

Her back breaking also ties back to her death in the series, as Bebe crushed her in its jaws.

2) Kyoko.

Kyoko has an excitable, fast-paced dance to pretty straightforwardly represent her excitable, wild personality. As the sequence goes on, she sprouts a multitude of arms, waving about her, in what is almost certainly a reference to Guanyin, the Goddess of Mercy. Apart from referencing Kyoko’s selfless wish to help her father, and her act of mercy-killing Sayaka, Guanyin was typically conflated with the Virgin Mary, with statues of Mary disguised as Guanyin and a cult of 'Maria Kannon’ having formed around her at one point. Giving that her father was apparently a priest excommunicated for heresy, it’s entirely plausible that heresy was the veneration of Maria Kannon.

Next we see a man’s hand reach for Kyoko’s face. This is almost certainly Kyoko’s father’s hand, reaching for her either in affection or in anger after killing the rest of their family. We see Kyoko split into multiple images, referencing her now lost power of duplicating herself, before the scene is torn open by a demonic, red-eyed, terrifying looking Kyoko. This is the one bit of symbolism in this sequence that has me completely stumped. A representation of how Kyoko sees herself, maybe? Or perhaps a representation of how her father saw her.

3) Sayaka.

Winning the prize for ‘least disturbing,’ we’ve got Sayaka, who kicks off her transformation by break-dancing, as coloured silhouettes mimic her movements at a slight time delay. The break-dancing itself is just a reference to her athleticism, but what’s interesting is that some of the silhouettes occasionally flicker to black with spots of oily colour, the pattern of a soul gem just before it becomes a Witch, referencing Sayaka’s fate in the original timeline of becoming the Witch Oktavia.

As the transformation ends, a silhouette of Sayaka as a schoolgirl sprints (with perfect form, again referencing her athleticism) at a silhouette of herself as a magical girl, the two colliding and splattering like water. There’s a general running theme of water in this one, referencing Oktavia again. As the two colours mix, a liquid version of Sayaka as a magical girl emerges, and for a split-second we see her cry into her hands, representing her regret at becoming a magical girl.

This one is almost as simple as Mami’s, all told.

4) Homura.

The most symbolically rich and also probably the most disturbing. As Homura starts, we see her holding her soul gem, which for a split-second flashes to an artistic representation of a scene later in the movie: The forest of lanterns that Homura and Kyoko end up passing through when they’re trying to leave town.

Homura’s dance is a ballet dance, representing how ... let me check my notes here ... she’s a ballet dancer. Like Sayaka, she has a silhouette following her at a time delay, but unlike Sayaka, her silhouette isn’t actually perfectly mimicking her movements, instead deviating at points. This is probably playing triple duty on the symbolism side: Homura is at this point both magical girl and Witch, both the original Homura and the new universe’s Homura, and is in two minds about what she wants to do.

As the transformation goes on, the white silhouette gets caught in a film reel, repeating her infinitely, while the purple silhouette is still and singular: The purple silhouette is the new universe’s Homura, while the white silhouette is the original timeline’s, repeating the same period of time over and over again.

We get another short shot of a future part of the film, this time the rising lanterns that lead up above the city, which will eventually be transformed into the arch and castle where Homura becomes a Witch.

This transitions to a silhouetted, yellow-eyed version of Homura (the ‘lizard-girl’ she figuratively becomes) bursting into patterns as Homura escapes from it, reaching for something, before transitioning to a pair of glowing hands grasping around a soul gem. The colour grading makes the soul gem look purple, making it look like Homura’s, but it’s actually not: Homura’s soul gem is visible on one of the glowing hands. This is actually Madoka’s soul gem that Homura is grasping at.

After a split-second shot of some very sinister witch text, we cut back to Homura, who segues into some more ballet moves before her striking her pose. These actually aren’t just any ballet moves, though: She’s dancing the death of Odette at the end of Swan Lake. At the end of Swan Lake, Odette dies and ascends to heaven, freeing the other swan maidens from the grip of Rothbart. It’s a very close match to someone’s story, but that someone is Madoka, not Homura: Homura’s mimicry of Madoka/Odette casts her in the role of Odile, the Black Swan (whose costume Homura wears as part of her devil attire later on in the movie), who imitates Odette and in doing so steals her purpose from her. This is some really heavy foreshadowing for the end of the movie.

5) Madoka.

Madoka’s dance is styled after the pop dances of idols, figuratively representing her as Homura’s ‘idol,’ (and potentially tying in to ideas of the artificiality of Jpop idols: This both is and isn’t Madoka, after all, it’s a mask that the real Madoka is wearing).

After the dance, the transformation cuts to the same film reel Homura was stuck in, but this time with an endless line of paper dolls of Madoka. This is pulling double duty for symbolism here: The dolls are both the many iterations of Madoka that Homura has seen in her time loops, and the infinite iterations of Madoka that exist in the moment of every magical girl becoming a Witch -- we actually see an almost identical scene elsewhere, in Ultimate Madoka’s transformation in Magia Record, with the key difference being those Madokas are real, whereas these ones are a chain of paper dolls, hinting at Homura’s view of those Madokas as being ‘not fully real.’ The Madoka she knew is gone, and Ultimate Madoka both is Madoka and is just a pale imitation.

We cut from there to grainy, close-up images of Madoka. The angle of these suggest that we’re seeing through someone’s eyes, and we are: These are Homura’s memories of the ‘real’ Madoka. As we watch, a glowing hand breaks through, shattering the images like a mirror. A lot of people have assumed this is Madoka’s hand, but it’s not: We’ve already seen this exact glowing hand, in Homura’s transformation, because it’s Homura’s hand, reaching for Madoka. As if to confirm this, behind the hand we see buzzing stripes of colours for just a moment: The same ever-shifting rainbow shades as Devil Homura’s eyes briefly turn.

Madoka is revealed, peering through her hands in a way that mimics the floating eyes of Kyubey outside the isolation field they’re all trapped in. Like Kyubey, Madoka is a godlike being who exists beyond the world that Homura has created here.

Whew. Okay, that’s all five. We get Bebe’s transformation later, and the symbolism there is that she likes cake and shit.

#madoka magica #puella magi madoka magica #pmmm

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writing-in-april · 4 years ago

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The Five Stages of Grief

Stage five: Acceptance (5/5)

Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral Reader (Spencer’s POV)

Thanks to @zhuzhubii who helped me so much with this series and made this gif for me 🥰

Summary: Spencer going through each of the stages of grief after the death of the reader. Stage five is acceptance.

A/N: Can’t believe my first series on here is done!!! I’m not gonna lie you guys this chapter is super emotional for me- I no joke cried the whole time while writing it and while rereading to edit. I basically have been going through the same thing recently with my Nana. This chapter is very close to my heart and is definitely the most personal chapter for me. The whole series is actually heavily inspired by season 3 episode 19 -one of my favorite episodes of criminal minds- and I also used elements from season 3 episode 15. This also kinda helps explain a lot of my writing choices throughout the whole series if you’re curious. I did my first real attempt at foreshadowing in this series, I hope you all enjoy it! Thank you for all the love and support on this series- with a special thanks to @spencerreidsmiles and @andiebeaword -you all have been so lovely and amazing.

Warnings (All warnings for the whole series are on series Masterlist): Sad Spencer, References to past drug use, References to past suicidal behaviors, Small panic attack, Hopeful Spencer, Unreliable narrator (much less so in this chapter)

Main Masterlist | The 5 Stages Masterlist Word Count: 3.5k (longest chapter)

It’s been a year; One full year since they had died in my arms. One full year since they had been shot so cruelly by a heartless unsub in an alley. One full year since I had been graced with their presence and the sound of their voice.

The elements of my emotions were extremely complex according to my therapist, and surprisingly I found myself starting to feel the benefits with them more every time I went to an individual session or a group session. It was hard for me to realize that I would have to learn to accept my situation.

It was hard to learn how to understand my own emotions when I had been so willing to shut them out, to try and convince myself that they didn’t exist.

I had begun to learn that I carried around the water that felt like I could drown in, the fire that burned so hot that anyone near it would get burned, the earth that I had wished would bury me with the pebbles I had chosen to cope with, and even the polluted air of my sadness around with me everyday. But, now I somewhat accepted the fact that they would always be with me, or at least I was trying to.

I had to learn to accept.

Even if it hurt I had to learn to at least try.

The next goal I had been given by the therapist was the most daunting of my tasks yet in my opinion. Trying to convince myself to open the boxes in the corner of the bedroom I had once shared with Y/N was harder than trying to get clean. The thought that had propelled me forward into getting clean was that I felt as though I would be disrespecting Y/N by not staying clean. They had been the reason all those years ago that I had spilled the clear liquid down the toilet and I needed to do it again, if only for them.

The boxes were something that were easier to ignore. I could ignore them by turning my back to the stack of boxes, choosing instead to stare at the painted walls of my apartment instead. There was no reason for me to stop ignoring the boxes, no one was trying to pressure me to open them besides my therapist. Everyone else in my life had no expectations for me to open them at any time, if ever, including Y/N’s family.

But, it had begun to feel like maybe I could try to attempt to open the boxes. I wasn’t sure what had finally prompted my brain into thinking that perhaps it would be a good thing to stop ignoring it. I stopped trying to understand why my mind works the way it does long ago, I had poured enough time into my life thinking about that.

I had felt this overwhelming urge to be able to look back at things that once belonged to them with some semblance of peace. I wanted to enjoy the memories we had together once more. I was tired of letting the memories get soiled by the unsub, I deserved to still think back on the one that I loved with a smile. I deserved to be able to preserve their memories with happiness and not let them sour with sadness. I wouldn’t let the unsub be able to kill something else while he was behind bars, my memories.

I was ready.

I was ready to open those boxes.

I was ready to at least try.

I was ready to try and look back at the memories.

I wasn’t going to let their memory die too.

My first attempt to open the boxes in the corner of my bedroom consisted of me staring for two hours at the stacks. I knew that I at least wanted to try to attempt to open a box, even if it was the smallest of the bunch.

That day I had gotten the lid of one of the boxes open. That was as much as I could handle emotionally in that moment. There was a small part of myself that wanted to push myself to look inside the box, but I couldn’t do it that night. That night I laid down on the bed, again facing the wall, unwilling to look at the boxes. I knew if I did I’d feel as if I had failed and I had to keep trying to convince myself that small progress was still progress.

I tried again despite the swirling anxiety in the hole in my chest.

I was still willing because I still wanted to have my memories unsullied by sadness.

I still knew that I deserved that despite my volatile elemental emotions threatening to push me into another toxic loop.

The next time I tried to look in the box I had previously opened just a little I immediately got choked, recognizing the contents sat at the top surrounded by other smaller insignificant items. I only managed to grab one of their old tchotchkes that used to sit on their desk in the bullpen. It was insignificant enough of an item that it didn’t make me fall into an endless loop of my emotions. I clutched it all night while I tried to sleep, though I still faced away from the boxes.

I hadn’t given up yet I still wanted to try, if only for them.

I would still try for them, even if I didn’t succeed, I still felt better for trying.

It had taken me awhile to muster up the courage to look at the box again, even though I still wanted to try I was scared that the contents would be too much for my fragile psyche. What I had gotten a glimpse of at the top of the box was something that used to be important for Y/N.

The next time I tried to look I successfully managed to pick up the item that had triggered the painful memory in my mind. It was ironically, it was another box.

The box wasn’t something that was explicitly tied to memories that we shared together. I knew it to be a music box from their childhood, given to them by someone that had meant so much to them. Out of curiosity I cranked the knob on the side and slowly opened the lid, wondering if I could handle the sounds of a song that I had often heard every time they had opened it to listen to the twinkle of the box they cherished.

As soon as the beginning notes of Swan Lake floated into the air I slammed to top shut, unwilling to open up the box of my emotions all the way just yet. I knew I couldn’t get rid of it, it was too important of an artifact in Y/N’s life. Though I knew that this wasn’t something I could keep to myself, this belonged to Y/N’s family. I clutched the box for a second in my arms when I came to the realization that the trinket should be with someone else as if it would be cruelly ripped from my arms right then and there. I felt a little fire being stoked in my belly at the thought of people taking it from me, even though there was no one there in my lonely apartment with me.

I started a breathing exercise that my therapist had told me to use when I felt like this. No matter how much it pained me to admit it, it did help immensely in snuffing out the emotions when I could feel them begin to spiral out of control.

I couldn’t let myself fall into an endless loop of volatile emotions again. I had worked hard to get clean after I had started to write my amends. It had been a hard uphill battle even after I had written down my amends, my grief hadn’t magically gone away that day. Getting clean had been much harder without my rock and the person who had helped me get clean the first time around. I wouldn’t disrespect their memory by going back to dilaudid again.

Once the initial fear began to fade and my breathing had grown steady I forced myself to loosen my grip on the music box. I then carefully set it down in a place that would be suitable enough for a stack of things I’d pass off to other people that had been important to them. I hoped I’d soon be ready to make a donation pile despite that I despised the mere thought of giving something away that belonged to them to a mere stranger.

It was already too much for today, I could only bear looking at the one item. I didn't know how I’d be able to handle it if the box was filled with more trinkets that were important to them. I did however find myself thinking when I laid down on my bed for the night after a hot shower to relax my mind. I found my mind thinking about the trinkets they’d had an affinity for collecting. It still brought tears to my eyes to think about giving away their stuff, even if it was to people who also mattered in their life. But, I found myself thinking about their old cute little trinkets without as much pain, though it was definitely still there.

Maybe tomorrow when I try, I’d do better.

The small box that I had begun to unpack over a series of days didn’t hold anything else seemingly important to Y/N’s life. Besides the music box I had found prior, the small box was only filled with unimportant trinkets that thankfully didn’t spark much meaning in my mind. It was obvious that when the team had initially helped me to put their stuff away until I was ready that things had been put away in a slight haste. They must’ve done it so quickly as a way to try and help me. The animosity that I had held towards my team for the last year because of Y/N’s death had been slowly melting away over time. I still wasn’t as friendly as I had been before, but I knew my frigid nature after the event hadn’t been justified. I knew now that they had only my best interests at heart, even if they didn’t always pinpoint what they were correctly. I had even begun to regain some of my desk duties once I had gotten clean. It had felt good to feel somewhat normal even though the sight of their desk directly across from mine and their still empty round table chair still made my heart pang with grief.

I had even begun texting them more frequently again, though I was still aversive to text, so I guess it still wasn’t that often. Some things really do never change despite the fact that my life had turned on its head in the past year. I had even begun to write letters to my mom again.

I knew I was lucky to still have people by my side, even if it wasn’t the one I knew deep down I still wanted with me.

I thought I could have at least done the box without crying anymore.

That was until I found something at the bottom of the box that made the dam holding my memories back in my mind break to flood my mind. The book would probably seem inconsequential compared to the rest of the items that I knew sat in the other boxes. Most people would assume after just looking at the surface level what items of Y/N’s meant most to me, the ones I wanted to keep. The black paper back was well worn around the edges, almost like if I read it too frequently and I wasn’t too careful that the spine would break. I ran my fingers up and down the battered book as I began to willingly reminisce. To other people the book would’ve looked beaten already beyond repair, maybe as if it had not been loved enough, battered perhaps because of neglect.

But, just like me I knew that Y/N had loved the book more than most people would be willing to.

I knew that I wanted to keep this book, no matter how painful I knew their contents would be for me. I hoped that I’d be able to read it so much that I’d be afraid for the binding of the book, just to be able to feel close to them again. Though I wasn’t quite sure if I was ready to dig up this particular memory, it might still be too painful for me.

I remember they had bought this book for us after I had connected with a grieving father on a case. He had specifically quoted a poem to me that stuck with me for weeks after. Once I had told them of the excerpt quoted to me they had immediately grabbed a copy of where it had originated from, a long Wordsworth poem. The book “Ode: Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood” became their favorite quickly, in fact it used to take residence in the top drawer of their nightstand. They had often loved to read me their favorite excerpts at night just before bed when my eyes couldn’t stand to focus on the pages anymore.

When I opened the well worn book it flipped open to where they had set their bookmark last, I recognized the excerpt immediately. My breath got caught up in my throat when the words danced around in my vision. I wasn’t sure if I could face this specific excerpt quite yet, or even be able to read any part of the poem. The book held so many memories of them. This specific poem held so much meaning to the both of us.

However, there was something in me that wanted to try. I wanted to be able to read the poem again and remember the memories we shared fondly. I wanted to be able to enjoy my memories with them. I had come to realize over the past year that their memory deserved to be nurtured with fondness not overwhelmed with sadness.

So, I decided to try.

The memory’s attached to the excerpt immediately began flooding back even as soon as I read the beginning words. The bookmark had landed on the page that had been quoted to me by the grieving father, the words holding even more meaning in my life now than ever before.

“What though the radiance which was once so bright Be now for ever taken from my-“

The tears in my eyes blurred my vision, so much so that I had to stop reading for a moment to wipe my eyes. I didn’t know if I wanted to continue, just those first few lines were already weighing heavily on my mind. I was already focusing on the radiance that had left my life forever. A radiance that was once so bright, but was now snuffed out, forever taken from my sight. My sorrow was creeping in with small little waves in my mind, I just had to hope that it wouldn't drown me. I didn’t want to get stuck on an endless loop of emotions again, I had just gotten fully clean a little while ago.

Even though I was feeling intensely emotional over just the first few words I wanted to keep trying. I wanted to read this poem and smile. I wanted to be able to look back at our memories with love, to take back what had been polluted by the acts of a heinous man. Once I had somewhat collected myself and my thoughts I began to read again from the beginning of the excerpt-

“What though the radiance which was once so bright Be now for ever taken from my sight, Though nothing can bring back the hour Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower,”

My entire being could not help but ache as I read the words, still aching for the presence of the one who had been forever taken from my sight. When I reached that part that I remembered asking the grieving man about all those years ago, the words held an even deeper meaning to me now than I ever thought possible. There was nothing I could do to bring back the hour where I was still in my lover’s embrace. I wanted to be back in the moments of splendour in the grass and glory in the flower, I knew that soon I’d have to fully accept that it wasn’t possible.

Again I had to wipe tears from my eyes before continuing to read the stanza. This time a few tears dribbling down onto the pages, marking them with my sadness forever no matter if it dried into the parchment or not. I continued to read the page despite the saltwater that continued to drip down my face,

“We will grieve not, rather find Strength in what remains behind; In the primal sympathy Which having been must ever be; In the soothing thoughts that spring Out of human suffering; In the faith that looks through death, In years that bring the philosophic mind”

I felt a small watery smile creep onto my face, it had been so long since I had remembered to smile with sincerity. I was thinking about some of the times they had read this to me as I tried to drift off into a most likely restless sleep. Though I had always slept better when they read to me. At the time the words hadn’t meant as much to me as they did now, I now had a permanent connection to the feeling of grief that would never be erased. For the first time in a long time thinking about them didn’t hurt as much for a moment, I actually smiled, even though it was rather watery. No matter how small or sad the smile was, I was still smiling. And, I knew in that moment that Y/N would’ve been proud of me.

I pondered on the stanza’s meaning in a deeper way than I had done before. The things stated in the stanza about how I would gain strength from this situation made me contemplate what Y/N would’ve wanted me to do after their death. They wouldn’t want me to give up as I had done before, they had always wanted the best for me. They would want me to gain strength from the situation.

They would want me to grow from the pain that sat in my chest.

They would want me to move on, to accept.

I didn’t know if I’d ever find someone else that I’d ever love as much as I loved them. I didn’t really ever want to, I had found my true love already. Maybe one day I’d find someone to fall in love with again and if I did I knew they would be happy that I was able to move on with someone else. Even if I ever did move on with someone else there’d always be a part of my heart that belonged to Y/N. For now I was ready to move on in a different way. I was ready to live my life without them, by myself.

The trauma of losing them would always weigh heavily on my soul, I’d carry that with me until I rejoined them in the earth. But, I was now ready to keep living, if only for them. I felt less guilty now since I had grown to realize that they’d want me to try and live the rest of my life as fully as I could. They’d want me to try and find happiness. I didn’t know if I would ever truly find it again, whether it was on my own or with someone else.

They may have been forever taken from my sight, but I found comfort in the fact that the radiance they brought into my life would always reside in me. Instead of letting the deep hole in my chest gape until the hour of my death, I’d let it fill with the radiance of their memory.

I was ready to try.

I was ready to try even if I knew the water that felt like I could drown in, the fire that burned so hot that anyone near it would get burned, the earth that I had wished would bury me with the pebbles I had chosen to cope with, and even the polluted air of my sadness around with me everyday would sometimes take ahold of me again no matter how hard I tried.

I’d always carry those emotions with me, but I knew I was ready.

“Nothing can bring back the hour of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower.”

I knew I was ready because their memory would always be with me to give me strength and to guide me. They’d always be there to help me try to live the rest of my life peacefully.

When I slept that night I faced the boxes while clutching the book to my chest.

Even though it still would always hurt on some level, I was ready to live in a reality where I could accept.

—-

Tag list (message me if you want to be added):

All works:

@shotarosleftpinky @oreogutz @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar

Spencer Reid/CM:

@calm-and-doctor @destiny-tsukino @safertokiss @slutforthegubes

5 stages of grief:

@joonie-centric @tatesimper @half-blood-dork @mcntsee @illuxions-x @rainsong01 @nomajdetective @loveheathens @day-n-night-dreamer @reidbuck

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid series #criminal minds #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler #5 stages of grief series #5 stages of grief

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kokoronbain · 4 years ago

Text

FINALLY THE SPECIAL DAY IS HERE!!!

Not only the Halloween but also...

The Realase Date of Luigi's Mansion 3!!! 🥳🎊

And for celebrating this day, I found good costumes for some of my dear LM3 OCs

Here in first Paloma

As Odile from Swan Lake!!

I wanted her with black wings but also she could keep her dancer role so I directly thought at the black swan ~

The ballet pose where I based on was really hard to draw, specially for the face but I did my best ;u;

And in second Jemmes Star

As a player from Among Us!

Lol I am really happy for having this idea 😂😂😂 I thought about the astronaut since it's related to space and then I remembered this famous game.

Personally, I won't play it so I am not really interested by this game and same for Jem: Whatever he is imposter or crewmate, he wouldn't say no to be ejected into space-

Now, let's see what is happening into some Alternate Universes with our Winged Ghosts for Halloween

Fell!Paloma

As Morticia from The Addams Family

I can't say why tbh?? 😳😳😳 I just realised at last moment that would fit her so much. I was based on the Morticia costume of Anjelica Huston! Well, what a perfect name which corresponds to our Ángel ~

Horror!Paloma

As Betty Boop

Another thing I just realised at last moment: Betty Boop is one of characters which unconsciously influenced me a lot in drawing and even some people said my art reminds them this character

But ngl, I thought about Kyung in this outfit so I asked to @thegravecartel if it's okay to pick up her idea and she was totally okay so thanks!!! x3

Logically it could be perfect to O!Paloma but it's already great for the horror one for the innocent-like, cute and pin-up side!! 😭😭

Ah! And before I forget, the flower you see on her is called "Betty Boop Rosa". Yep! No joke it's called like this and that helped me a lot for the cosplay hehe 😆

Mafia!Paloma

As a Mummy

Yeah, not really a reference to someone: It's just a mummy. She wouldn't take seriously the party but would try to have a costume where she could use her powers easily to protect Miss Gravely. So yeah she won't let her guard down at Halloween 😌

And finally RoleSwap!Paloma

As Mario (ft. Cappy!)

And again another thing I thought at last moment: I just wanted a silly excuse to put a gRrRRRrreat mustache on someone 😂😂😂 It's simple! But it's also a good occasion to celebrate the 3rd anniversary of Super Mario Odyssey with Cappy, one of greatest mario games which is important to my heart 🥺🥺🥺

Aaaaaaand that's all!!

I am really happy to find some good disguisements for my characters from this great game! 🥺

So happy first anniversary LM3 and specially Happy Halloween everyone!!! 🎃👻🧡💜

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falsegoodnight · 4 years ago

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what're you working on right now???

okay i don’t think anyone needs a really long answer to this but what can i say, i love talking about my own wips (the current count of them are 35 on the main list and 8 on the second list YES I’M CRAZY I KNOW).

i’m actually working on multiple things right now but the main ones are:

✰ a sequel to my love’s not simple (it’s fragile), aka my first abo! it’s not going to be super long, maybe around 15k? but i’ve missed this world so it’s fun to get back into it! this is set to come out by the end of the month as a birthday present for a dear friend of mine (YES, all three fics this month have been dedicated to someone else - there’s too many birthdays in this month geez). it’s at 3k right now, so a fifth of the way through!!

✰ my october fic! idk how many people are going to see this but i’ve decided that my destruction fic (see wip page for more info) is what i’ll be trying to finish for the ninth! it’s exes to lovers, slow burn, a bit angsty, and also involves superpowers!! it’s also different from my usual type of fic in that the romantic aspects will be more subdued in favor of focusing on plot and development but it’s still a ris fic, you know? also, journalist harry <333 this is only at 3k and i really need to get on that haha.

✰ my blffs! i have two prompts:

347: Harry and Louis dated but Louis obviously did something to piss off the universe because years later, Harry ends up being the wedding planner for Louis’ marriage that anyone can clearly see he doesn’t want. Harry starts planning Louis’ wedding based off of how Harry used to describe to Louis what he imagined their wedding to be like. (I’m also making it mpreg so it’s basically a shotgun wedding <3)

currently at: 23k out of an estimated 52k

63: Friends to lovers AU where Harry and Louis are best friends and flatmates in Uni and they both need money, Harry for his gym membership and Louis for cute stuff like sanrio plushies, so they decide to film homemade porn videos together. Louis is shy and sweet and maybe inexperienced and Harry kinda doms him.

currently at: 5k out of an estimated 28k

i really need to get on those too haha. but after october 9th, they’ll be by main priority!

the rest are more on the side and less of priorities!

✰ pack au - more information here but the basic info is that it’s an abo pack au where harry is the heir to the pack (future pack alpha) and he’s betrothed to louis (future pack luna) and they’re not supposed to interact until they come of age... and yet... lots of yearning and breaking the rules and letters and soft stuff <33 and COURTING <3

i haven’t been working on it for a bit because of other fics but t’s at 7k out of an estimated 50k. this is my comfort fic and i mostly pull it out to cheer me up when i’m sad/stressed.

✰ nurse louis au - so i’ve had this idea for a few months but i’ve been watching grey’s anatomy for the first time with my sisters and it inspired me to spontaneously do a curious cat word prompt for this story and, well, i got hooked. i’ve done two mini snippets for it on twitter, one of which you can find here. this was originally really low on my priority list but i’m moving it up because i’m excited about it! (it’s also not even on my tumblr wip list yet because i am terrible at keeping up with that!)

it’s only about 1.2k out of an estimated 35-40k!

✰ something else with @soldouthaz ;) - no more info on that <3

✰ other drabbles - i have a ridiculously ambitious list of drabbles i want to write including two for the swan lake au, another one for sleeping on our problems (the first one i did was literally posted today and you can find it here), and a couple for the peach universe which will be posted on clicktosubmit. i haven’t touched any of those in a little bit but hopefully, i’ll get at least a few done by the end of the year.

again, this answer was probably really unnecessarily long but if anything i can just use this as a point of reference especially when things get hectic. i have two fics i definitely want to get out in the next few weeks and then i’ll probably take a break from posting in order to focus on my blffs. there’ll probably be a november fic but who knows how busy with classes i’ll be then (i don’t even want to think about it tbh--)

but, anyways, sorry it’s so long! :)

#asks #wips #about me #i'm genuinely a crazy person

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sandrinehbrt · 4 years ago

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BARBIE MOVIE HEADCANONS

why am i doing this? oh, believe me, i am asking myself the same question. i have no idea but every time i watch barbie movies i also think of how sandrine would appreciate them and review them and yeah i guess this counts as character development and what not.

top five favourite movies

barbie and the magic of pegasus (ice skating, cute baby polar bear, kind of gay for the queen)

barbie as princess and the pauper (the SONGS the story the animation the everything, hands down the best barbie movie in the entire universe with swan lake as a close second)

barbie as the island princess (very adorable baby elephant, friendships are more important in the end than a semi pointless male interest no offense antonio but yeah full offense go away and colonize another island who cares)

barbie & the diamond castle (one word: LESBIANS)

barbie: a fashion fairytale (the terrible french accents deserve a special mention they made her laugh)

top five least favourite movies

barbie: videogame hero (it’s too high tech for this actual grandma)

barbie presents: thumbelina (the animation of the small creatures is very scary like their heads? are too big)

barbie fairytopia: the magic of the rainbow (they should have made a spin off about lesbian mermaid nori instead this was pointless laverna just go get lost for fucks sake)

barbie in the pink shoes (very confusing)

barbie: spy squad (she pays allegiance to totally spies, the ultimate female spies)

top five favourite characters

blair willows / princess sophia > princess charm school (the whole storyline is a dream: she was a waitress, won a contest to study at the royal school & ends up being the lost princess everyone thought died years ago.

annika > magic of pegasus (brave, bold & looks good in lilac)

clara > the nutcracker (she’s the sugarplum fairy, enough said)

viveca > three musketeers (very lesbian, very fashun, very hot)

sandrine > mermaid princess (for obvious reasons, also represents sandrine’s whole ‘i fall for people i can’t have’ since barbie sandrine has a lot of attitude and seems very hard to approach)

top five least favourite characters (excluding villains)

prince louis > three musketeers (sexist dumb pointless no chemistry with the main character whatsoever go get lost in your hot air balloon and complain it’s hard to be a prince bc you can’t talk to birds anymore)

the twins love interests > diamond castle (forced heterosexuality is boring make it stop)

janessa > 12 dancing princesses (she collects bugs BUGS!!!!!! nope not allowed)

eden starling > a christmas carol (great redemption arc and explanation of why she is pure evil but still, she gets a 0/10 for not being sweet like we get it eden you can sing and so does sandrine and yet she doesn't act like a diva)

stacie > great puppy adventure / great puppy chase (she's way too into sports child just chill and watch some cartoons give everyone a break pls)

best romantic relationships

liana & alexa > diamond castle (they live together they sing love songs to each other they sell flowers they find matching gems and make engagement necklaces together they lose their joy once they are separated, the whole movie is about liana wanting to date the muse melody and have a throuple and alexa wanting to keep their couple closed and alexa and liana finds out they don’t need anything else to be happy other than each other and this is gay)

odette & the fairy queen > swan lake (i feel like sandrine would call the fairy daddy for some reason, and odette bakes and dances? nice. swans are cute, good opportunity to say look at all those chickens)

rosella & luciana > island princess (full offense to antonio go back on your boat and let the two women in charge of your kingdom)

elina & nori > fairytopia: mermaidia (they “fight” for the same ugly merman but they end up having more chemistry together i stan! also nori becomes a better person and elina makes great sacrifices for her so it's perfect good girlfriends content)

geneviève & derek > 12 dancing princesses (listen LISTEN LISTEN this is prime romance, derek is attracted to geneviève, the misfit of the family despite all her other sisters being absolutely gorgeous, he gives her time, he shows his affection through small attentions, his own parrot ships them like this is goals and he does anything he can to make the whole family happy and to save them putting his love for gigi second)

in brief: sandrine your bisexuality is showing

(i disagree with the best top 5 especially but for the rest i feel like we would agree on most of this, especially about prince louis I HATE HIM WITH A BURNING PASSION like ;;;;; sir you are so flat and you have 0 personality and french monarchy? i don’t stan ~ also here’s the link to the barbie wiki page if you want context or u can ask me i’m a connoisseur phd in barbie movies i bought a barbie for my birthday does it validate my knowledge SHE’S LIKE “SWEET ORCHARD” THEME THAT IS SO ADORABLE idk what i will name her? thinking of cinnamon bc she comes with a basket of apples)

for reference:

gif 1 = liana & alexa from barbie & the diamond castle

gif 2 = annika & aiden from barbie and the magic of pegasus

gif 3 = princess annelise & erika from barbie as princess and the pauper

gif 4 = elina & nori from barbie fairytopia: mermaidia

gif 5 = geneviève & derek from barbie and the 12 dancing princesses

gif 6 = odette & the fairy queen from barbie of swan lake

#biography.

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