#Surak's Soul

[odo-apologist]

Just remembered this part of an ENT novel exists. What the fuck.

[nevinslibrary]

Make It So Friday

This wasn't one of the surprising Star Trek novels. But, it was definitely one that made me think.

The Enterprise finds a dying race of people. The crew tries to save them, but can't. In that process T'Pol accidentally kills someone, and so she decides to not carry a weapon any longer. Then an entity contacts them, T'Pol specifically, saying that it will help them figure out why the aliens died. But, not everyone trusts the entity. And then the people on the Enterprise start falling ill.

As, I said, though it didn’t have a lot (or any) twists and turns that I didn’t see coming. It was still a really fun read, my favorite part was that we got to see Hoshi as she was trying to decipher the alien language. I'm not sure if I can put into words just how much I loved those scenes. So awesome.

You may like this book If you Liked: Desperate Hours by David Mack, Broken Bow by Diane Carey, or The Left Hand of Destiny: Book One by J.G. Hertzler

Surak's Soul by J.M Dillard

[capan-deveraux2]

I’m watching Star Trek tos right now (Nomad episode specifically)

And I’ve been wondering about religion in the Star Trek universe

In the episode who mourns for Adonis

Kirk says something along the lines of ‘we no longer have need for the old gods,’ before mumbling under his breath ‘ we find the one quite enough’

And obviously in Deep Space Nine the bajorans worship The Prophets, and if memory serves me correctly Dukat even mentions some form of religious burial for cardassians.

And the ferengi have their religion with the divine treasury.

Even the Vulcans have some belief about the soul because in the kirshara episode Archer is possessed by the spirit of Surak.

How does Christianity fit in? Of any human religion for that matter. I’m best familiar with Christianity so that’s what I’m gonna talk about.

How does say a Christian woman date an andorian? Do they still need all 4 genders/sexes to reproduce? What religion would the child follow? What about the religions where both parties are required to follow the same religion? How would dating and marriage work with all these different religions?

We kinda get a glimpse when Rom marries Leeta but not much beyond that.

[surenschompychompers]

in honor of first contact day, and ace day tomorrow, I thought I'd throw out this old headcanon: Skon, son of Solkar, father of Sarek, didn't hold up the family trend of being super into humans because he was asexual, so he instead poured his metaphorical heart and soul into translating the teachings of Surak as a work of... romantic sluttery? Yeah, that's a thing, right?

[deepspacedukat]

Not a request, just a thought about Pre-Surak!Soval from that fic you did for him. I can’t stop laughing thinking of the look on his face when he finds out that his odd-looking Vulcan mate is, in fact, not Vulcan at all. Like I can’t be the only one who thinks it’d be either very dramatic and angsty (as in, he might get angry about “polluting” his bloodline and end up disposing of his mate) or extremely funny and there’s no in between.

Aww, thank you for sharing your thoughts with me! I'm glad my fic is still in your brain space this long after I wrote it! (And I do have a multi-chapter Pre-Surak!Soval fic in the works that'll be posted at some point.)

I honestly agree with you. If he could process the fact that there are more beings in the universe than just Vulcans (because in my brain, at least, the Pre-Surak version of these Vulcans haven't gone to the stars yet) then it would either lead to some adorable hilarity (like re-examining every inch of his mate with new curiosity) or soul-crushing angst (because wHAT DO YOU MEAN AN ALIEN TRICKED HIM INTO MARRIAGE).

[a-noone]

One of my bananas HCs is that while everyone assumes that Jonathan Archer’s extensive knowledge of Vulcan language and culture is the result of having carried Surak’s katra, it’s actually because, after the death of his father, he was adopted by Solkar, who was Zefram Cochrane’s t’hy’la (Henry Acher’s bestie)

He thus falls prey to the S’chn T’gai curse of having a t’hy’la (in this case, T’Pol).

Who carried Surak’s katra? T’Pau, of course.

This is why she rarely leaves Vulcan, and thus turns down a position of the Federation Council. Carrying a katra leaves a permanent bond. And, strangely, the people who wanted to heavily edit Surak’s writings don’t want anyone to know what he thinks, and thus will destroy whatever houses his katra at the first opportunity.

It is further highly inconvenient that, if you have a t’hy’la, their soul winds up with you when they die, thus, the katra ark also contains Senet.

This is also why T’Pau never married: she is too devoted to her ghost rock husbands.

[allofmystudentsrunaway]

🙌🦉

oh a hard one..let me think..i have written a lot of words!...erm..probably this star trek discovery shortfic/precoda: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18550987/chapters/44038816

Michael sat very still hands flat on her thighs and tried to meditate, it was almost impossible to concentrate. The dull light of Proxima Centurii tinted her cell rust red, blood everywhere she looked; On her hands, on her face and in her eyes when she caught her reflected gaze. Every twelve hours the prison rotated away from the small star and then she slept. If you could call the tangle of nightmares sleep, it certainly wasn’t restful. Despair is insidious, a snake that winds it’s way into the mind and chokes out all other thought. At first she had tried to pull herself from it’s grasp. She had done the work they asked of her, mixed with the other prisoners tried to make her atonement mean something. It didn’t work. The others knew what she was, the guards didn’t bother to protect her and now this was her life. Her Life, watching an insignificant star slip past the window and waiting for the night terrors to come and claim her. “I deserve this” She reminded herself, it wasn’t martyrdom or histrionics, it was simply the truth. She had caused death, so many deaths. Friends she loved had died because of her actions, if anything her punishment was too merciful. Starfleet had no idea what to do with her. She was a mutineer, the first ever. The powers that be couldn’t make her walk the plank, even so they had buried her anyway. So she let herself be choked by the snake, suffocated in her own guilt and over and over her mind showed her Philippa’s face as T’kuvma thrust his blade through her heart. Michael dwelled on that image, held it before her eyes and burned it into her soul. The sun was slipping away as the station turned into night, Michael lay down. She lay straight arms and legs rigid, not wanting to sleep but knowing she couldn’t prevent it. The lights snapped off and left her alone in the darkness with only the cold stars for company. "Where fear walked, anger was its companion." Sarek whispered in her ear. She blinked back tears, night was the only time she allowed herself to cry. It was dangerous during the long hours of daylight, when a guard might see and take exception to her grief. “I do not need Surak’s Analects now.” She told her imagined Father. “I think you tell yourself falsehoods to comfort yourself. There is no logic in that” Michael turned over and curled herself up tightly. Sarek had said that to her when she was nothing more than a frightened child. "To each joy its celebration; to each sorrow, its observance." Her father towered over her, Vulcan face implacable, even so his voice hinted at compassion. Michael realised she was dreaming, she knew if she looked around she was see her Mother Amanda. “I remember this day.” It was the day she had first gone to the learning centre, She recalled Spock reaching out for her hand as they walked to their parents shuttle. “Michael, my daughter you cannot exist in the past, you must live in the now” “How?” she begged. The lights in her call flashed on dragging her from her dream, she sat up blinking and confused. One of the Guards, Ensign Galus was stood inside her cell brandishing a phaser rifle. “You, Burnham get up you are being transferred to Tellun, pack your things.”

As for your other question there probably isn't just one author that inspires me. i've always loved telling stories and i'm a fairly eclectic reader. I quite happily ping between genres, i do think 'you need to read in order to write', and by that i mean read widely and out of your comfort zone.

Though it has to be said Terry Pratchett is my comfort Author, i've re-read the discworld books a lot. i just love the way his characters feel like real people, he had the ability to make you care about say, Sam Vimes or Nanny Ogg, while at the same time highlighting gut wrenching truths about humanity. i would say he probably influenced my writing style. i still miss him.

[whovianwatchingstartrek]

A Whovian Watches Star Trek for the First Time: Part 082 - The Ritual

Star Trek: Enterprise - Season 4 Episode 8 - Awakening

We open at Soval's trial after his mind-melding, and his position at Vulcan command has been terminated. Apparently, the council has also found that the member of command that planted the bomb was also a Syrrannite. Strange that the Syrrannites would plan false DNA of Syrrannites, so something fishy is going on with Vulcan Command.

After the intro, we return to T'Pol and Archer, who have been Captured by the Syrrannites. Of course, they have no idea that T'Pau's DNA was planted. Apparently Arev from last episode was their leader, and his real name is Syrran.

While in his jail cell, Archer has a vision, of civil war on Vulcan. A vision of the time of Surak. Apparently, it's now his responsibility to restore Surak's teachings to Vulcan. Apparently, when Syrran died he transferred the "katra of Surak", basically Surak's soul, to him. T'Pau mind melds with Archer, and confirms that it is the case.

Meanwhile, the Vulcan Command are plotting to bomb the Syrrannite sanctuary. Can I just say, I love the set design on the Vulcan council's room? The colours and the artwork on the walls are just so vivid, I love it.

The Syrranites prepare a ritual to take Surak's soul out of Archer, but it doesn't work. In fact, while it's happening, Archer received another vision of Surrak, this time warning that Vulcans are repeating history. Archer, T'Pol and T'pau then go into a cave to find an ancient artifact that was important to Surak, while the rest of the Syrranites prepare to evacuate from the bombardment.

Enterprise tries to send a shuttle down to Vulcan to find Archer, but the shuttle is spotted, leaving a beautifully tense situation between Trip and the Vulcan command. The command give Trip an Ultimatum to leave orbit immediately, but trip stands his ground, and a firefight breaks out between the Vulcans and Enterprise.

Archer and Co do manage to get the artefact, the bombing begins as they make their escape. The Syrranites didn't manage to evacuate in time, and a lot of them are dead. We get a genuinely sad scene as T'Pol holds her dying mother.

Towards the end of the episode, we find out the key difference between the main Vulcan religion and the Syrranites: and that entirely is that the Syrranites are Pacifists, but and are opposed to the command's plans for war against the Andorians. We leave off on the Cliffhanger of setting course to Andoria to warn them

The worldbuilding around the Vulcan religion in this episode is fun, and I like that's really playing with various concepts the show's brought up in relation to the Vulcans, Surak, their history of how they embraced emotional repression and Logic, and the mind-melding stuff. I still would have preferred a focus on the political intrigue with the council, but I have a feeling that's going to happen next time.

Comparing my Enjoyment of this Episode with a Doctor Who Universe Story of the Same Title

Doctor Who - Season 21 Serial 2 - The Awakening

It's been a while since one of these comparison segments has just let me use the main show! This time it's The Awakening from 1984. The Awakening isn't a story that people in Doctor Who fandom really focus one, it's a Fifth Doctor, Tegan and Turlough story set in the, at the time, present day.

Basically, during an overly-zealous English Civil War re-enactment game, people from the actual English Civil War end up being displaced through time to the Re-enactment, all as part of a ritual to free an ancient, alien psychic weapon called the Malus lurking underneath the village, exerting it's influence to free itself. There's a bit more to it, but in the interests of keeping this section brief, I'm skipping over a more detailed plot summary.

The Awakening is a nice short serial, and it serves as criticism of the themeparkification of history, the cutting out of the bad bits to make things more palatable for modern audiences, which is a bit deeper of theme than the Fifth Doctor Era usually went for.

Outside of it's themes however, there it's fairly average. It's setting isn't really anything new for Doctor Who, the 3rd Doctor Era did sleepy modern day English Villages a lot, The Malus as a villain has a striking design, but there isn't really anything to separate it from any of the other ancient evil entities in the Whoniverse. It's not a bad serial, it's just very played out as far as Who goes. As a serial it kinda has the feel that it's trying to be a 3rd Doctor story. I enjoyed it a lot, but the general rut of Early-80's who is very much present. Really good themes, kinda average execution, still a lot better than most of the 5th Doctor era.

Choosing between Enterprise's Awakening and Doctor Who's The Awakening is fairly difficult, but I think I'm gonna hand it to Star Trek's because I really enjoyed the worldbuilding. The Vulcans have been kicking about in Enterprise for a while, and we haven't had much worldbuilding focussed on them since season 2.

[ao3feed-spirk]

Trektober day10

read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/50726377 by pip_the_human He was fully aware of the effects of solitary confinement on Humans and Vulcans alike. He knew the mental effects, the startlingly fast countdown to crazytown, a term Doctor McCoy would use. Surak, he missed Leonard. He missed his stupid Human idioms, and his stupid Human mannerisms, and his stupid Human ears, and he would do anything, anything just to hear his stupid Human voice. And he missed Jim, he missed Jim with all his soul. He missed his eyes crinkling in a smile and he missed the sideways manner in which he sat on the chair. He missed the way he blinked and the way his shirt wrinkled when he sat down and the way his breathing sounded and he missed his touches, a short brush of their arms, a brief pat on the back, the feeling of Jim’s hand on his shoulder. He hadn’t felt anything but smooth white for 52.126 hours. ----- OR: Spock is subjected to white room torture. Trektober day 10! Prompt: Sensory Deprivation Words: 1381, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 10 of Trektober 2023 Fandoms: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Spock (Star Trek), Leonard "Bones" McCoy (mentioned), James T. Kirk Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock Additional Tags: this one got dark, sorry - Freeform, Angst, :(, White Room Torture, Torture, Psychological Torture, theres some blood, but mostly he just sits in a room, Prompt: Sensory Deprivation, Sensory Deprivation, Self-Harm, just there for the warning, Hallucinations, Crying, Trektober 2023, Sorry guys, Angst with a Happy Ending, I promise theres a happy ending, Solitary Confinement, I promise he doesn't go crazy, crazy? I was crazy once., They put me in a room., a rubber room., a rubber room with rats., and rats make me crazy. read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/50726377

[startrek-readerslog]

Surak’s Soul by J.M Dillard

I love T’Pol. I love Vulcans. Are you really a Star Trek fan if you don’t like the Vulcans? With T’Pol on the cover, I was hoping we would get a deep dive into her POV. Sadly I think this one falls a little short on that front

The Author: 

J.M. Dillard is a seasoned Star Trek writer who we will meet again some day, but it seems as though most of her novels are novelizations of movies or episodes which I have decided not to read in this quest (because I have already seen them on screen!).  It also seems she has written a vampire series? Which I never would have guessed.

The Summary:

This novel reads much like an episode. The Enterprise lands on a planet where everyone is either dead or dying. They meet many of the aliens as they explore the planet looking for survivors. One of the surviving aliens attacks Hoshi and T’Pol hits it with a phaser blast that is set to stun. The blast kills the last survivor even though it wasn’t supposed to. This really hits home for T’Pol and affects her deeply. She feels that she effectively committed genocide. She commits herself to non violence from that moment on. They get back to the ship and an amorphous energy entity introduced itself to T’Pol as “Wanderer”. The rest of the plot is them figuring out that The Wanderer basically fed off that planet and saw those beings as lesser and fine to kill. The Wanderer thinks that humans are fine to feed off of too because they are lesser. T’Pol has problems with this logic. It starts feeding off of and possessing the crew and T’Pol comes to the conclusion that self defense is okay.

My Thoughts:

I wish we stayed a little more in T’Pol’s POV for this novel. I think it was the majority but we also cut to Archer frequently. This novel is a shorter one which I think was to its benefit. It has an episode’s worth of plot and therefore benefitted from feeling like a short episode. Honestly most of it was rather forgettable, but none of it super offensive. It felt weird that T’Pol was just going through these thoughts and feelings about violence after time already spent on the Enterprise and it is not like the Vulcan’s do not display their fair share of violence. I honestly read this a few months ago now and the fact that I don’t have a lot to say about it I think speaks for itself.

5/10, inoffensive and a light read! Next up for novels is Daedalus, and I think I am going to to combine that review with its sequel Daedalus’s Children because it is a direct continuation of the story.

[originallonemagpie]

2018 Book Log #17

SURAK'S SOUL by JM Dillard

Dillard's long been a favourite Trek writer of mine, but this Enterprise one... Well at least it was short and quick. And still over-padded. Basically it's a simple moral dilemma for T'Pol which was already answered by Spock in Wrath Of Khan, bolted onto a thin short story and stretched out to 200 pages rather than the 5 or 6 pages of story it actually has. It's basically an exercise in wondering how fucking stupid the characters are to not notice the goddam motherfucking obvious.  It is therefore also utterly predictable from the get-go.

On the upside, Phlox in particular, and also Archer, T'Pol, Trip and Reed all read fairly true to the TV counterparts (Hoshi far less so, and Mayweather never got a personality in the series anyway), and there is an alien that was pleasantly TOS-like, which kind of helps in viewing Enterprise as a prequel to that series- I could damn well see how it would have looked in TOS.

But otherwise... Sadly a decent 5 or 6 page story lost in 220 pages.

[thisisnotahetship]

T’hy’la representation matters

[trans-trek-bang]

Bottle Rocket to the Stars

Written by Bongbingbong

Art by Marlinspirkhall

Read the fic! || See the art!

Summary: Bones, Spock, and Jim are three souls who are continually reborn, drawn to each other through time. In every lifetime, they live their lives until they meet one of the other two, at which point their past memories are returned and they can begin searching for their third.

This time around, in the twenty-third century, Spock and Jim are determined to make it work while they search for Bones. Bones, who is in the first lifetime where he has been able to transition without a problem.

It seems like a blessing at first: they have been given the gift of a diversity of experiences most lovers can only dream of. But every stolen lifetime comes at a price.

Tags: Reincarnation, Character death (in past timelines), References to Pre-Surak violence, Vulcan AU, Wild West AU, 21st Century AU, Musketeers AU, Canon era with divergence from the storyline, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Trans Bones, Autistic Bones, Pre-transition Bones (in past scenes), Period-typical transphobia, Struggles with dysphoria and transition

Relationships: TOS-verse James T. Kirk/Spock/Leonard “Bones” McCoy

Characters: Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Spock, James T. Kirk, Surak

[yel-halansu]

Vulcan polytheism

Vulcans, in spite of priding themselves on their logic, are also very invested in preserving their ancient traditions, and religion is no exception to this. Dating back to pre-Surakian times, Vulcan religion recognizes multiple deities and spirits of nature that populate the different areas of oT'Khasi. The beliefs of Vulcan religion are not shared exactly by every individual Vulcan, with some gods being worshiped exclusively in certain areas or social groups, and some Vulcans choose to not practice any religion at all.

It is worth noting that even though Surak has an immense influence in Vulcan culture and possessed many traits that could be considered messianic, he is not worshiped as a god. Spiritual practices connected to Surakian teachings, such as meditation, are non-theistic in nature.

Most of the practices of Vulcan religion take place away from the prying eyes of outworlders, however, we do have information about the main deities and spirits that populate its pantheon and legends:

T'Vet: a warrior goddess, still worshipped in some communities in Vulcan in spite of the prevalent pacifist philosophy of Surakian teachings.

Shariel: god of death, who lived in mount Tar’hana, where he spewed lava to terrify the Vulcans into submission. Legends say that he wielded the Pillar of T’Klass as a weapon to battle the other gods in defense of Sha Ka Ree.

Khosarr: god of war and consort of the goddess Akraana.

Akraana: goddess and wife of Khosarr. It is unclear what she presided over, but it is known that in ancient times her followers excluded themselves from the rest of Vulcan society and lived in self-sufficient colonies in the area of T’paal.

Natara: god of water.

Reah: ancient goddess of the underworld, of death, and bereavement.

Ny'one and T'Priah: god and goddess of fertility, respectively: joined forever in a mystical union.

We also have records of a goddess of the sun, who is said to be woken every morning by her twin sons, and who was worshiped by a sect called Krah-jehl at the temple of T’rinsha; as well as other gods of peace and war who appear depicted in the Stone of Gol.

Some of the nature spirits of Vulcan legend include:

Rushan: Air spirits.

Gratan: Desert spirits.

Fletan: Water spirits that inhabit certain oases.

Giidas: Guardian spirits.

Sirshos'im: Fire spirits that attract lost desert travelers to devour their souls.

In addition to the wider pantheon, Vulcan religion also recognizes a small group of five figures known as the Ka-ta-pak or Inner Chorus. These are personifications of the strong emotions that can grip the Vulcan heart and lead to destruction if allowed to run unchecked, and different schools of meditation teach how to deal with them in different ways. Each of them has a joyful aspect and a wrathful aspect, symbolizing how emotions can become destructive if not dealt with appropriately:

Tel-alep: also known as the Watcher, he represents curiosity. He is an old Vulcan chained to a great book that contains all the knowledge in the world. His counterpart is Alep-tel, the Bitter, who is jaded by all the experience he has accrued and eager to give advice tainted with cynicism and futility.

Kir-alep: represents peace and acceptance. Its counterpart is Alep-kir, the Sullen, who represents apathy and pessimism. It is represented as the heat of the high desert that drains the energy from the body.

Valdena: the personification of love, joy and beauty. She is portrayed as an athletic maiden dancing between the clouds. Her counterpart is Dena-vel, the Covetous. She traps the things she loves so that only she may enjoy their beauty, and, at the slightest sign of betrayal, she turns into an a'lazb (a Vulcan creature similar to a Terran spider) and drinks the blood of the object of her affection until they're dead.

Kal-ap-ton: represents grief. Usually depicted as a tall, gaunt young man in mourning attire who carries a small pouch full of tears. His counterpart is Tyr-al-tep, the Unforgiver, who makes Vulcans forget about what is and brood only on the possibilities of what might have been. He personifies the inability to let go of the past, and is said to voice any deep regrets that a particular Vulcan may have by whispering into the ears.

Ket-cheleb: also known as the Destroyer and the Blood-Drinker. He is the only figure in the Ka-ta-pak who does not have a joyful counterpart, as he is said to have killed him long ago and hung him on a great tree in the center of the world. He is thought to be the most dangerous, as the Vulcan mind is easily seduced by his cries, and it requires willpower to keep him at bay.

Vulcan polytheism is also the source of many myths, like the famous legend of Sha Ka Ree or the Great Oasis, a paradise at the center of all creation. Much like some cultures on Earth, Vulcans associated certain deities to the planets in their solar system and the constellations they could see in the night sky.

I leave you with this video, a beautiful legend about T'Kai, a trickster figure in Vulcan mythology.

Sources: Memory Beta, Memory Alpha, TAS, VOY, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, Orion Press Lexicon, The Way of Kolinahr: The Vulcans, Hidden Universe Travel Guides: Star Trek: Vulcan, VLD, Kathleen Reynolds' Youtube Channel.

[defconprime]

Star Trek: Enterprise - "Surak's Soul"

T'Pol kills somebody on an away mission so she decides she's going to fully embrace Surak's nonviolence teachings and never even defend herself ever again. Yes, that lasts about 260 pages.

RATING: 62%

(Where to place:

[bearsinpotatosacks]

Maybe Death is Just Going Home- A Spones Fic

The wind was soft on the back of his neck. Stroking the weak skin that was exposed. Sunrise was still underway, the blues and yellows and greens all mixing together. 

His garden was thriving under the care of his yard workers, who he'd employed to do the tough work his brittle body couldn't take anymore. The pond near the fence was full of lily pads and flowers, fish showing their faces occasionally. Flowers poked their heads up to the sky from the raised flower beds. A wind chime jingled somewhere to his right.

He remembered a time when he didn't let himself enjoy these things. The song of a bird or the way a flower bloomed. It was the days of being a strict Vulcan, of denying the emotions that drove his species to pure logic and repression, of pushing his human half to the point of breaking with every breath.

His friends helped him cultivate these sides of himself. Jim through kind words. Leonard with initial harsh behaviour, that he realised was his affection and watched it melt into true care and love. 

His heart panged at the thought of them, a pain he rarely let himself indulge in. There was little chance of seeing them again. Who knew how much time had passed for them? How old they'd be if he found a way to return home, an impossible feat, or if they'd even be alive?

There was even less of a chance of seeing Jim again. His research into finding him again had failed, even with the alternate technology he had at his disposal. There was no way to cheat death, especially one that happened in another world. They'd already done so with him and he didn't think it would be allowed a second time, or a third if you counted this universe's Jim.

He opened his eyes again. Meditation was meant to clear his head. But everything was too muddled lately to sort. He could feel the end coming. 

The skyline far away melded into the sky. Ships left and arrived from ports. Cars and trains with families all on their separated journeys. Infinite possibilities.

He turned his gaze to the grass springing up and spreading out away from the glass of the city. The growing season was coming. Flowers blooming, the sun on his face. Storms were frequenting the skies more often, the grounds soft and supple from the rain. 

He closed his eyes and smiled to himself as he felt the ache deep in his bones. Today was a good day to die.

"How old are you now?" A familiar voice pricked his ears. "And yet you can still cross your legs so wound up like that without pain?"

He opened his eyes. "Leonard." His husband.

"Who else is it gonna be?" 

He raised an eyebrow and took in what was most likely a hallucination. Leonard's hair was grey and hands worn, circa their encounter with the Klingons just before the Enterprise was decommissioned. Just before Jim went missing.

His red uniform was smooth, unwrinkled against his body. A look of mischief filled his eyes, a rare sight but a welcome one. He'd accept anything after all the years.

"You do realise that this isn't real, and therefore there is no point in conversing with you,"

Leonard feigned hurt with a hand on his heart, "I came here to give you a peaceful send-off and here I am being insulted by the man I call my husband,"

"The statistical probability of seeing you as a hallucination, in a much younger state than I left you in, is impossible, " 

"We have done many impossible things over the years,  and besides, the last time I knew, you don't have conversations with hallucinations," He crossed his arms and sat on the wall to a raised flower bed.

"What is your suggestion then?"

"I'm an angel, sent from God, to convince you to come along and die,"

"There are two faults with your proposal,"

"Two?"

"Yes, two," He said. "That is a very Christian focused theory, Leonard, and as you know my belief systems are of Surak's teachings and Judaism,"

"Last time I checked, Christians and Jews have an overlap in a religious book, our old testament, your Torah,"

Spock nodded.

"And ain't the story of Abraham in there, where he was told by God he was gonna have a kid of his own,"

"Yes, your point being?"

"And ain't the Exodus story, the one o' Moses, have God showing themselves to Moses to convince him to free the Jews,"

"These are theologically correct, Leonard, but I am still waiting for a point," He smiled again, he missed their debates.

"If those events happened in our religious books then what's saying it ain't happening right now, bringing me to you," 

"I didn't know you believed these tales so strongly, from what I believe these tales are to learn lessons from, not to take any literal meaning. And both of your examples were God showing themselves, and we both know you are not God," He looked at him. "Therefore you're not here."

"My second point was that I am ready to die, and God, being all-seeing, would know that," 

Leonard got off the wall. The look of mischief replaced by concern and love. Death had always been a sensitive subject for him. One of the most common disagreements was regarding Spock's longer lifespan. And it didn't matter how many times he told him that they could have a relationship just like any other, he knew he'd never let the subject go.

"I do have one more question," Spock continued. 

"What?"

"Your belief in angels, does it encompass the idea of the dead becoming them if they have lived good lives?"

The air wavered between them as their emotions poured into it. He thought they were both glad they knew some things without words.

"Yes,"

"Then that means that to get to me you must have died, which is counterintuitive to your plan of convincing me to die,"

"Why?"

He shuddered, his eyes filling with tears as his hands shook. "Why? Why do you think the knowledge that you died alone, without seeing me or having me by your side as you left this world,  would ease me into death?"

The image of a fragile Leonard, delirious from pain medication, calling for him with his dying breaths flashed to the forefront of his mind. He shook his head to rid himself of it but only made it clearer as the silence dragged on.

Leonard's face broke into a slight smile to ease him. He stepped towards him and reached his hands out to him.

"I knew you'd say something like that, so I want you to know I was at peace," He said. "After one hundred and eighty-three years, Spock, I was very fulfilled and welcomed it, just like your doing now," 

Their eyes locked and words ceased. Spock's head cleared, like all he needed was a conversation with him to clear up all the metaphorical mud in his head.

"Come home to me, Spock,"

And he did. Standing up from his position on the terrace and fitting perfectly into his arms like he always did. 

His hands traced the stubble on his chin as Leonard carded a hand through his hair, now black again due to his soul matching the time period. Their lips touched in a simple kiss and everything felt complete.

The sunrise dissolved away with the sounds of spring. And Spock was home once again in Leonard's arms.

And that's it! I got inspired by that scene in Beyond where AOS Spock saw a picture of the original crew and my angsty bittersweet brain got this question. How did Spock Prime die and how can I make that queer and peaceful?

I hope you enjoyed this, I enjoyed writing this!